#i don't know what to do without you i don't know where to put my hands

[drs-fan]

LN4 | don't leave me

some pinterest pictures and the middle is jamie chadwick

summary: they were childhood friends. at some point, the relationship takes a toll - because of racing? or because there was something more?

warnings: angst, some fluff maybe, written in 3rd person but name not mentioned, not much of it is proofread

word count: 2.6k

She had been 4 years old when she had first gotten in a kart – which was his. Her father had worked for Lando’s father, and even though they were at different ends of the tax bracket, became close friends.

At the time, she didn’t know that they would become best friends – or more – but she knew she didn’t want to get out of the go-kart. Her father worked overtime to get her first kart that same Christmas. At 10, they were competing for regional karting championships together. This was the first-time karting got between them. Lando had pushed her too far off the track. He watched as she almost flew out of the kart in front of him. He unbuckled himself quickly, calling out her name. “Hey – are you okay?”

She shook her head, trying to get rid of the ringing. “You! Why did you push me off the track?”

He shrugged. “You do what you need to do to win.”

She stood up, red faced, and shoved him – hard. “You did not need to do that to win – you did that to stop me from winning! I can’t believe you!”

“Hey, I was faster, and I was going to win – you swerved into me.”

She snorted angrily, “No, I was 100% faster than you, and you just didn’t want me to get ahead.”

He rolled his eyes. “You were not going to win.”

“I was too.”

“Was not.”

“I was!”

“Was not!” Her father came over to check on both and put a stop to their shouting match.

“Okay guys let’s get back home. It was an accident, it was no one’s fault, okay?”

She glared at Lando, who glared back. “I’m not getting in a car with him. He crashed into me!” with that, she spun round and walked to the car.

“I’m not talking to you.” Lando shouted after her. She made a rude gesture over her shoulder – which would definitely get her in trouble later, “I’m not either!”

Her father had told her on the way home, as she continued to frown out the window, picking at her nail beds until they bled. “You two have to make up to each other. You know it wasn’t on purpose, and he probably feels bad about it now – don’t make racing your whole life. Don’t lose your friends because of a bad result.”

His words were met with silence, because she knew they were right – but also because she didn’t want to admit it.

“Stop doing that please, you’re going to hurt yourself. Also, we need to talk about that hand thing – where did you learn that from?”

She smiles slightly but continues to pick at her nails. “Lando.”

A few days went by with no contact from either end. Usually, they would meet up during the week to go to the park, or just to gossip. Life was boring without talking to him. She wanted him back in her life, but she was too stubborn to say so. Luckily, it was Lando who had come by first with two Capri-Suns and a sheepish look on his face. They sat in for a while before Lando was the first to say, “I’m sorry.”

She nudges him with her shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m sorry.”

“Promise we’ll never be this upset over a race again? It’s boring not talking to you.”

“I know, I’m your best friend.”

He rolls his eyes at this but laughs, “I guess, yeah.”

“It was pretty boring without you too.”

“I can tell, look at your hands – they look horrible.” He makes a face which makes her look down at her hands, where she had torn up the skin around her fingers, anxious at the upcoming race and at the prospect of losing her best friend.

“It’s not that bad.”

“It is. Please do something about it.”

“Okay, then I also promise to stop biting my nails – if you promise to buy me capri-suns every race weekend.”

“Pinky promise?”

They linked their fingers, grinning at each other. Even though it was Lando who came out first that weekend, she had no problem with it. She knew they were okay now – and because she knew that she would get him the next round. Which she did.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

By the time they went off to middle school, she and Lando were tussling over 1st place every weekend. They would travel together to get to the races and go karting together on the weekends. Even when her father had moved to a different job, they remained close family friends. After each race, they would share Capri-Suns together, laughing about their heated moments on track. Sure, there was still competition between them – they were the two best drivers on track; but after that first crash, they didn’t let it meddle with their friendship.

“That overtake on James was crazy – that shit was risky.”

“Risky good? Risky bad?”

“Obviously risky good.”

When she needed new tires for her kart but felt bad for asking her father for a new set, he would lend her his spare ones.

“I can’t take them, Lan, they’re expensive.”

“I promise, I don’t need them. They don’t fit on my new kart anymore, please just take it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! I’m sure. I’ve been telling you I’m sure for 10 minutes now.” “Thank you,” she hugged him tightly, “I’ll pay you back when I get my allowance.”

“Don’t – just get your own drinks from now on.”

But even after that, he would still bring her two juice packets. 

It was around this time she became aware of her financial situation. She became aware of her father’s multiple jobs, his tight smile, and his hidden sighs. She became aware of her mother’s worry lines, her teary eyes, her shaking hands. She knew they were short on money – that they probably could never afford going further than this. It pained her whenever she needed new tires. Crashing out of a race hurt her mentally more than physically because she knew it may be the last time doing so. Lando had never had problems financing his driving career. He was moving on to world championships, with the best karts and best teams they could find, while she spent hours writing emails and letters every day, reaching out to sponsors and teams, praying that they would notice her.

Stressing about money was not something Lando was familiar with. He offered to pay for her expenses multiple times, but she always declined. She took to taking part-time jobs, leaving her with little time between school, homework, her job, and her karting.

“You don’t hang out with me anymore.” He groaned when she declined his invitation for a movie night – again. “This is the third time this month. I want my friend back.”

She smiled tightly, feeling bad. “I’m sorry, I miss you too. Life sucks.”

He grabs her hand, spinning her around. “Let’s make it not suck, let’s have a movie night.”

“No Lan, I have an essay due Friday, but have work tomorrow so I need to do this tonight. Stop making those puppy eyes! I’m not looking!”

He pouts, “Please?”

She tries to hold a straight face but gives in. “Alright. But I get to choose.”

“Yes!” He picks her up over his shoulder and she squeals. “Let me down! Lando!” They fall into a pile on the ground as she starts to chase after him. She could be just a girl around Lando. No need to worry about money, work, school, or anything. He was her safe space. She was his.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

At 16, when she knew that it would be the last ever season competing in karts, Red Bull reached out to sponsor her. Red Bull junior team was notorious for being a tough, competitive program, where they were expected to perform week in, week out. But she had no choice but to accept. They were willing to pay for all karting and racing expenses, and she might get a seat in F1. It was a small price to pay.

The following years were harrowing. Moving up from F4 and through Formula Regional, she didn’t get to see Lando much. He had gone through the same steps a year before. They still texted and wrote often; falling asleep on the phone had become a new normal for them. She would tell him about her season, how her car felt, and he would give her advice before telling her about his life in F3 or F2.

More sponsorships followed her ascent through the feeder series. The first female winner, the first female champion. However, most attention directed towards her didn’t shine her in a good light. They discredited her performance, how her presence in the team was only for show and that she didn’t deserve her seat. That there was no room for women in motorsport. She knew that they were wrong, but it felt so unfair. It was unfair that she had to be drug tested every two races because the FIA ‘randomly’ chose her name every time, and it was unfair that she had to have a clause in her contract to ban her dating because ‘being promiscuous’ was not going to help the team. It was unfair she was the one constantly performing but that her seat was the one in danger of losing. She had called Lando, angry tears in her eyes, after the team had told her to break up with her then boyfriend, Dave, because she had to focus on her racing.

“This isn’t fair – I do everything for the team – I’m the best driver – Why do I have to be punished for having a personal life?”

“I know. It’s not fair.”

“You have a girlfriend, why can’t I have one?”

“I – What? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“You do! The blond pretty girl.”

“She’s the boss’s daughter. I’m not dating her.” He laughs, as if the notion of him dating someone else was hilarious.

“She sure as hell seems interested then.”

“I’m not interested, so that doesn’t matter.”

“Why not? She’s pretty and she seems nice.”

“Well, I’m not into her.”

“Why not?”

“Because I like – Because I’m not interested. And we’re not talking about my dating life, we’re talking about yours.”

“Oh, so you like someone?”

“I’m not talking.”

She remained silent, surprised at how relieved she felt that Lando wasn’t dating anyone, pondering who it might be that had caught Lando’s eye.

“Hey, Are you still there?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Thanks. I – I think someone’s calling for me. I’ll call you back though.”

She hung up before Lando could reply, heart thudding in her chest. Dave – she had to be upset that she was breaking up with her boyfriend – right? But somehow, her thumping heart didn’t seem to be that upset about Dave at all.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

She pushed her emotions away. Whoever it was that her heart was beating for, it didn’t matter because she couldn’t date anyway; what’s the point?

Through F4 and Formula Regional, she dominated the other boys who had first seen her as a pushover, winning back-to-back championships. As years went by in the Red Bull Driver Development Program, she saw new faces every season and parted with so many of her old friends, being kicked out of the program for ‘under-delivering.’ It was a stressful environment, but she thrived under pressure. She had Lando, Lando had her. They pushed each other to be better, all while being each other’s biggest supporters.

They met again in F3, Lando in his championship winning year. They shared the podium often, and more attention was drawn to the two young and talented drivers who seemed to be more than just friends. They were quick to assure their teams, their fellow drivers, and the media that they were no more than that. A part of her didn’t want to be so decisive about where their relationship might lead, but there was no way she could tell everyone about her confused feelings towards her best friend. Unbeknownst to her, a part of him felt the same. But these feelings would have to wait. To wait, until they both had their futures secured in.

The day Lando cinched the F3 Championship title and announced he would be driving in F2 with Carin next year, he stood on the top step and looked down into her face, shining with pride and clapping the loudest of them all.

They celebrated with two capri-suns, splayed together on his hotel room couch, with her legs crossed comfortably in his lap.

Lando hands her drink over with the straw. “When you win next year, I’ll get you something better than Capri-Suns.”

“Why? I like them.”

“You deserve better than Capri-Suns though.”

“Nah, I like this. It’s our thing, you know?”

“Cheers to that.” Chuckling, they raise their drinks to a toast before taking a sip.

Lando sighs as he lays back, absently drawing circles on her knees. “What do you think comes next?”

“Next what?”

“Formula 2, then what?”

“Formula 1, of course.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I’m good enough to be… One of them, you know?”

“Dude. You just won the F3 European Championship. I’m sure if there’s someone who’s good enough for this, it’s you. You’re too hard on yourself.” She shakes her Capri-Sun at him. “Stop doubting yourself! I can see it in your face. You’ll be amazing.”

He laughs. “Stop spraying me with orange juice!” She persists, making them both laugh harder. “If you get to F1, which team do you want to drive for?”

“I mean – Red Bull, obviously.” She points to the team logo on her jersey grinning wide, “I’ll be the second Sebastian Vettel. You?”

“McLaren.”

“Fair. You’ll get in, I’m sure.”

“Same to you. What do you think life will be like when you’re in F1?”

“Rich – definitely. Um… Lots more stress, more pressure, but lots of fun I guess. Definitely more dating opportunities there.” She wiggles her eyebrows over at him. “You’ll have some good fun, yeah? Not too much I hope.”

He rolls his eyes. “I told you, I’m really not interested.”

She sits up straighter. “Come on – don’t tell me you’ve never dated anyone.”

“I haven’t. You’ve known me my entire life, I’m sure if I’d had a girlfriend, you would know. My mom would have told you.”

She laughs. “That’s true. But I’m sure there are lots of girls waiting in line, if you’ll take a chance on them.”

He shrugs, “Maybe.”

“What’s your type?”

“What type?”

“You know, girls you like? Blonde? Short? Tall? Skinny? Cute?”

“Why? Are you trying to set me up?”

“If you want, sure.”

His grey eyes look straight into hers as he says, “Fine. My type? Great driver, athletic, nice smile, loud laugh, stubborn and competitive as hell. She likes Capri-Suns. Call me if you find her, will you?”

She doesn’t look away, even when she could hear her heart beating in her ears. In a whisper barely loud enough to hear, she says, “I – will.”

Her eyes flickers to his lips and back. She could tell that he noticed, by the way he licked his lips and a blush started to creep up his neck. She could still feel his fingers tracing her knees. She shivers involuntarily, but not because of the cold.

“You’re shaking.”

“I know.”

The silence stretches, until a knock is heard on the door, and making them jump apart. His mother’s voice carries through the room. “Lando? Your sister came in on the first flight here! Come say hi.”

With a last look, he goes to open the door.

a/n:

clearing out some stuff I had written down, so here's another one for Lando's first win :)

hope u enjoy if u do pls tell me (i am desperate for validation) also pt2?

[cuddlychristopher]

Car video with Matt Sturniolo - Fluff! (request)

Matt Sturniolo x reader!

Word count: 1.1K

Warnings: swearing, a little kissing

A/N: This one got away from me and I had to reign it back in because it's not supposed to be smutty lmaooo But here it is!

***

It’s close to midnight as Matt parks the van in a random spot at the favorite lot. The two of you got fries, chicken nuggets with sweet n’ sour sauce (mostly for him), and a large milkshake to share. You plan to do a car video to post on his individual channel.

You have no idea what you were going to talk about. Matt had fans submit their own questions for you two to answer.

After setting up the camera, which included Matt going out to check it, you start recording and picking at the food.

Matt starts the video off. "Hey everyone, (y/n) and I are here. Uhm... basically we're going to do our own car video without Nick and Chris. We don't really have a topic, but you guys submitted questions on instagram. Babe, have anything to start us off?"

Now, he looks at you as you’re mid fry. You chew quickly as possible, wiping your hands on a napkin, as he giggles under his breath.

"Thanks for the warning," you remark with a laugh. "Uhm, not really... I'm just here for the vibes."

"For the vibes?" Matt crooks a brow and looks you up and down. Then he takes a nugget and dips in the sauce.

You roll your eyes. "Don't yuck my yum."

Matt stuffs the nugget in his mouth. "Okay, Chris."

All you do is flip him off and take a sip of the milkshake.

"Just ask the questions."

"Okay, okay." He laughs as he readjusts in his seat after grabbing his phone. It's quiet for a couple minutes while he gathers them. "Oh, let's start with this one. What's our favorite thing about each other?"

"Well-"

"Oh, quick disclaimer, sorry babe." Matt shoots you a nervous smile. "I will edit screenshots of the questions onto the screen so you can see who they're from. And uh.. if you'd like to get featured in videos, follow us on instagram to see the next time I ask for questions. I'll put the @s on the screen and in the description below."

You slowly chew on your straw after taking another sip, patiently waiting for him to be done. It's already been fifteen minutes and you are almost positive Matt forgot the extra battery pack. Granted, you could've asked Nick where it was and brought it; too late.

"Okay, what were you going to say?" Matt prompts.

You think about making another snarky remark in how it'd been so long since he asked the question that you don't remember it.

Tapping the straw on your pursed lips, you pretend to think. "Well... I have many favorite things so it's an unfair question."

Matt lightly rolls his eyes. "Look, I know you love everything about me, but what's your favorite?"

"Oh, everything?" You laugh. "You think so highly of yourself, don't you, Matty B? Let's go the different route then." You look directly into the camera. "Guys, this kid will not accept anything sort of unorganized or clean. Not for more than five minutes if he can help it."

Matt's jaw drops and he snatches the cup out of your hand. "Your least favorite thing is how organized I am?"

"Yeah, live a little! You won't die if there's like a wrapper or two on your desk, or if the toothbrush isn't in the holder."

"You are an absolute monster, (y/n)!" Matt cracks. He points between you and the camera. "Don't believe a single word she says. She leaves more than a wrapper or two, and her skincare is all over my bathroom counter after she does her morning routine."

You shrug. "I don't see a problem with that, and I don't think the fans will either."

"Guys, leave a comment if you're more like me or (y/n)." He barely scoffs under his breath, eating another fry. "You're lucky you have other amazing qualities that I overlook the messiness."

Now, you couldn't help blushing. “Such as?”

Matt shakes his head, a smile spreading on his lips. “You’re understanding about a lot going on, you know, like the channels, life, and stuff. So it’s easy to talk to you about it, like if I’m ever anxious or something.”

“Top fucking notch quality right there,” you say. “Anything else? I love the praise.”

“I thought this was reserved for in private, babe.”

Your eyes go wide and you almost spit out the fry you just put in your mouth. “Matthew! Stop!”

Matt giggles under his breath. “Sorry. Uhm… You can rock a men’s polo and make the best playlists for me… Obviously you have such a vibrant personality.” 

“That I do.” You nod in agreement. You reach out to brush back some of his hair, causing some pinkness to rouge on his cheeks. “I love how cautious you are about decisions, keeps me from letting impulsive thoughts win.”

“Which is a lot,” he shoots a look at the camera.

You can only roll your eyes in response. “Anyway… You’re the most caring person I know that will drop anything to help someone you love. The only time you won’t ask a lot of questions… Oh! You’re actually the best big spoon ever.”

He bites his bottom lip, failing to hold back a cheesy grin. “Really, babe?”

“Absolutely.” 

You close the space between you, and Matt instinctively rests his hand in the crook of your neck. You crawl over the center console onto his lap when you realize it wouldn’t be just a few kisses.

Time gets away and you sort of forget that you are filming. Your hands roam each other’s bodies over and under clothes. Both of you leave butterfly kisses on the other’s neck.

The lights in the van suddenly dim away.

“Shit. Fuck,” Matt says, his lips pink from yours and hair tousled more than usual. “I think the camera died.”

“And we technically only answered one question.” You bite your lip with a laugh. 

He laughs with you, running a hand through his hair. He lays back and looks you in the eyes. “I should’ve known not to start with that question.”

“Should we try doing this again on a different night?”

Matt sighs heavily. “Probably… It would suck to scrap all the footage though.”

A smirk rises on your lips as you move back to the passenger seat. “You want to include clips of us making out?”

“Obviously no.” He rolls his eyes. 

“Let’s just keep going then. Use my phone to record.”

Matt kisses the crook of your neck. “You’re the best, babe.”

You shoot him a look. “Be careful, Matthew.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He throws his hands up in defense. (He really wasn’t that sorry.)

*You can request others from this list or send me new ones!*

[sanguineterrain]

Sanne can we get a part 2 for reporter!reader?? Picking up where it first left off their first night in the same home - and there's only 1 bed! - and reader shares the bed with him with the promise of not looking at his unmasked face in the middle of the night? And like them realizing over the next few days that they have very similar habits like tendencies to work throughout the night once they've got a lead and not having a set sleep schedule/unconventional sleeping hours.

OKAY HERE WE GO! be fed my lovelies <3 didn't exactly do one bed but hopefully you like it anyway ;) pt 2 of this

jason todd x gn!reporter!reader. nightmares, hurt/comfort, jason sexy mf todd being a domestic dreamboat. 2.4k. pls enjoy

****

The Red Hood's apartment is... not at all what you expected.

It looks lived in. It, as awful a thought as it is, looks like an actual person lives here.

And it's not that you didn't know that Hood has a life outside of shooting and scaring, but the giant ficus and the overstuffed bookshelf seem paradoxical to everything you know about Hood.

You're realizing that you don't know him at all.

"So, uh." Hood awkwardly gestures to the apartment. "This is it. Welcome."

"It's nice," you say, stepping over the threshold. "Really nice. I'm a little jealous, Red."

"What can I say? Being public enemy number one is surprisingly lucrative."

You wander to the kitchen. There's a picture of him and a red-headed masked man who looks vaguely familiar. The man is smiling, his arm around Hood. There's a city skyline behind them you don't recognize.

"Where's that?" you ask. You don't expect him to answer.

"Morocco."

"I didn't know you had friends," you say, studying the Welcome to Vegas! magnet that's holding up the picture.

"Ouch."

"No, I—" You turn, shaking your head. "Sorry, no. I meant, like, people you do fun things with."

"Mm, yeah, I know what a friend is."

"Red, you know what I mean. I didn't know you took selfies and kept plants and read."

"Thought I was friendless and illiterate, huh?" He leans against the kitchen table, fist tucked under his helmet. "Y'wouldn't be the first."

"Hood—"

He snorts, shoulders shaking. You stop.

"That's not funny," you say, rolling your eyes. "Jerk."

"It's a little funny. You're always so sharp with your words, smartypants. No, while I'm very literate, friends are admittedly far and few. Arsenal's my closest friend."

"Is he also a crime lord?"

"Nah. Way better guy than me."

You look back at the picture and wonder how often Hood gets to experience joy. And when was the last time he had a vacation?

You feel a gentle tug at the back of your jacket.

"C'mon. You can snoop more later, promise. Lemme show you your room."

Hood takes your suitcase before you can protest. You follow him down the hall. There's one door to the bathroom—the other is to a single bedroom.

The bedroom is nice, bigger than yours at home. It's sort of what you expected (i.e., the mounted katanas on the wall) but also not (a giant framed poster of the 2005 Pride and Prejudice film).

Holy hell. You're in the Red Hood's bedroom.

"Hood, I can't sleep here," you say, watching as he puts your suitcase in the corner.

The bed has been made, sheets tucked in without a single wrinkle. They're in various shades of red. You're sure Hood thinks he's hilarious.

"Why? If the swords are putting you off, I can move 'em."

"No, it's—I can't take your room, Hood. There's no way I'm doing that."

He shakes his head. "No, trust me, it's for the best. That couch is only comfortable to sleep on after a dose of painkillers."

"Dude, I am not making you sleep on the couch in your own house."

"Well, dude, I'm the host, and I'm the big and scary Red Hood, so what I say goes."

"Like either one of us actually believes that," you say, brushing past him to grab your suitcase. "I'm not kicking you out of your bed. It's–it's very sweet of you to offer. But you physically exert yourself every day. You need a comfortable bed more than I do. Besides, it's not like I'll be here for long."

Hood steps in front of you, casually blocking your exit.

"Well, try this on for size: my room is more secure than my living room," he says. "If someone were to break in, they'd have to get through me out there first."

That... is, unfortunately, a good point. You're still extremely paranoid after the assassination attempt two nights ago.

"You're so manipulative, y'know that?" you grumble, leaving your suitcase where it is.

"I know. I come from a real fucked up family." He doesn't sound too put out by it.

"But if you get injured on patrol, I'm sleeping on the couch."

He pats your shoulder. "'S cute you think you can bargain in my house, smarty."

****

Dinner goes well. Hood makes beef bolognese and it's delicious. You take an extra long time in the bathroom before bed so Hood has enough time to eat, considering his refusal to remove his helmet. You'd offered to blindfold yourself—he'd just laughed.

"Sure you don't want your room? It is, after all, yours," you say when you come out, fresh from your shower.

Hood glances at you briefly from where he's washing dishes. He's out of his jacket and suit, now only in jeans and a white t-shirt. Your face feels hot for some reason.

"I'm sure. Cute robe."

"Oh." You look down at the Wonder Woman robe your friend gave you. "Thanks. Got it for my birthday."

"I'll have to get myself one too," Hood says, drying a glass with a polka dot tea towel. "Big Wonder Woman fan."

"Yeah? We solve this case, and I'll get you all the robes you want, Red."

"Tempting."

You chew your lip as you watch him clean up. "Want any help?"

"Go to sleep, star reporter." He sounds amused.

"You try to be a polite guest only to get shot down..." you mumble, heading to your room.

On your way there, you get distracted by a pile of documents on the coffee table. You stop, picking up the corner to read one. They're about the case, about all the labs that might be involved in the experiments.

Well... you can read just one. It seems like Hood's compiled a lot of information on his own.

You stand for a bit until your legs grow tired. Then you sit on the couch, making notes of what you do and don't know on a nearby writing pad.

"Did you get lost on your way to the bedroom?"

Hood's watching you, leaning against the wall. It's weird to see his bare arms. His very sculpted, muscled arms. You think you peek a tattoo on his bicep.

"My attention was caught," you say, unrepentant. "Anyway, there's a lot of stuff I haven't seen. You've been holding out on me, Red."

"'S just theories, mostly. Didn't feel it was relevant to mention without hard proof."

"Ever hear of a work-life balance?" you ask.

Hood walks over and joins you on the couch, making the cushion dip. You bump shoulders briefly, before you move.

"Look who's talking, Pulitzer prize," he says.

"That's a very reasonable goal, and I'm not obsessed with it. You're just a workaholic. I have activities outside of wo—oh my God, work!"

You shoot up from the couch, panicked. "Fuck. Fuck! I haven't shown up in two days! I'm—"

"Hey, easy," Hood says, propping his socked feet up on the coffee table. "I called you out. Said you had the flu. No biggie."

"How did you call me out?"

He shrugs. "Pretended to be your boyfriend. Girl on the line was kinda rude about it. Didn't believe me at first."

"Red, I believe we've talked about these invasions of privacy."

"I'm just fulfilling my host duties. Is it true you haven't taken a day off in two years?"

You sigh. "Yes, okay? Fine. I'm a workaholic, too. That's why Jane, the secretary you spoke to, was so sassy about my having a boyfriend. It's pretty unbelievable."

"That's ridiculous. You could totally get a boyfriend. Some guys don't mind that."

"Like you?"

Hood tilts his head in acknowledgment. "Sure. Like me."

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly most men."

"And thank God for that."

You look at each other for another moment. Hood's tattoo is in clear view now: it's a bird surrounded by flowers. You can't tell the species of either one.

"Cool tattoo," you say, your tongue feeling too big for your mouth.

Hood turns his arm so the ink is hidden. "Thanks."

"Right." You start to walk backwards. "I think... I'm gonna go to bed."

"Sure," he says. "If y'need anything, holler."

"'Kay. Thank you for dinner. You're a great cook."

"You flatterer."

You smile. "Gotta stay in the Red Hood's good graces."

You start to walk away.

"Do you—waffles?"

You stop and turn. "Sorry?"

"I, uh... do you like waffles? For breakfast," he says. He rubs his thumb and forefinger together. Nervous habit.

"I love waffles for breakfast."

Hood nods. "Great. Good. Then I'll... we'll have those."

"Please don't wake up early just to make breakfast, Red."

"You're my guest. I'll do whatever I want."

You don't recall the prospect of waffles ever making your heart hammer in your chest. Weird.

"Well, goodnight," you say.

"G'night, smarty."

****

You turn the case details in your mind over and over. It's better than thinking about beef bolognese and peeks of skin you shouldn't see and how Hood's sheets smell like lavender.

But you fall asleep thinking about robins. You don't know why. You can't recall ever seeing a robin in Gotham.

You're on a rooftop. It's the roof you met Hood on, all those months ago. There's a robin nesting with its babies on the crumbling bricks.

The sky is a sick shade of green. You see horrible faces in the shadows on the roof.

That face from the night of the attack returns. He's hideous. You remember the stench of his breath, the way his eyes bulged. He grins at you across the roof.

"He should've killed me when he had the chance," he says, voice distorted.

You look around. The robin is gone. Blood drips from your stomach.

You turn and your attacker is there, inches away. He plunges the knife into you again and again. You can't move. This is it. You will die.

You wake up to wet cheeks. You're hot, and you're screaming. You've died.

A cool, rough hand grabs your arm and you fight because you can't die, you won't die. Not today.

"Hey. Hey, hey! It's me, 's J—Hood. It's Hood."

The room is almost entirely dark, save for a sliver of light from the cracked curtains. You can't make out his face. His voice is different. Clearer. He's without his helmet.

You reach out and feel soft hair. The curve of a neck. A bicep. A warm, bare chest.

"Sure, honey. Cop a feel if that makes you feel better," he murmurs.

Your face screws up and you start to cry.

"Shit," Hood whispers. "Shit, shit. Can't get the comforting thing right, can I?"

The bed dips with his weight. Arms wrap around you. You launch yourself into those arms, that solid chest.

"He g-got me in the dream," you choke out. "He killed us, Red. I'm so scared."

"Nobody's getting me or you. I promise."

Hood's jaw is smooth. His hands are big on your back, rubbing circles. His bare knee bumps yours.

You clutch him tighter. He hums.

"'S okay," he says. "It's alright. I got ya. He can't hurt you. I'd tear apart anyone who tries."

He lets you cry for several minutes, petting you all the while. Hood's body is warm, almost unnaturally so, but his hands are cool. He engulfs you completely.

You wonder what color his hair is. His eyes. What shape his nose is. His... lips.

"God, I'm a terrible guest," you mumble after you've caught your breath. "Fuck. I'm so sorry to wake you."

He hums, the sound going through your chest. "Don't worry. I don't sleep much. And you're not the worst guest I've had. My brother stayed with me for a few days last month. That was hell."

"You have a brother?"

"Four, actually. And a sister."

"Wow. Do they know you're...?"

"Yeah. It was a whole thing. They're over it now."

"Cool family."

Hood grunts. "They're... something."

You smile and close your eyes. "You're not who I thought you were, Red."

"Yes, I know. Friendless and illiterate."

You pinch his side. He clucks his tongue in response.

"Cheeky," he says, the gravel in his voice shooting down your spine like lightning.

You pull back, suddenly aware of how long you've been touching him. Hood lets you have your space, scooting to the edge of the bed.

"You know what I mean," you say, glad it's dark and Hood can't see your wide eyes. "Not like that."

"I know. You thought I was a monster, ugly and alone, sleeping in a cave."

Blindly, you reach for his face, feel the shape of his jaw, his chin.

"Doesn't feel like an ugly face to me," you say quietly.

He exhales like you punched the air out of him.

"Trust me," he says. "The dark hides a lot."

You frown and pull away. "I didn't think any of those things, Red. I thought... I thought you were one-track minded. Now I realize that you're probably better adjusted than I am."

"Oh no, I got issues. Believe me. Definitely more than you. Not that it's a competition. 'Cept if it was, I'd win."

You smile. "Title is all yours, big guy. Gotta be a little crazy to do what we do."

"Sure. But you're the bravest soul I know. 'Cause you weren't forced into this. You hunted down the story yourself."

"Brave or stupid?" you ask.

"Brave. But it's a fine line."

Nope. It's definitely more stupid than not, clinging to the Red Hood in his own bed in the name of a case.

What are you doing?

"Ah, anyway." The bed shifts as Hood stands. You can just barely make out the shape of him. "You probably won't be going back to sleep any time soon, huh?"

You sigh. "No, probably not. Please feel free to take back your bed."

"Nice try. You, uh... like hot chocolate?"

"Oh. Yes, I do. But you don't have to do that."

"I've been awake," he says. "No trouble. C'mon."

Hood walks to the door and opens it. Light spills out and for a moment, you have a clear view of his back.

His hair is dark and wavy. His back is covered in silver scars and fresh bruises, broad and muscled. You can see the tendons shift as he walks out.

The Red Hood is a man. Made of flesh and blood. Carved, more like.

Your belly flutters. Fuck.

This is no longer just you working a case. And you're about as far from an informant as anyone can be.

[ot9snumber1]

siren song

siren!sana minatozaki x reader

summary: dahyun gets your crew shipwrecked. jeongyeon says she's got it under control. you take a walk to clear your head—clearly not the best idea.

warnings: smut, blood, manipulation(?), 2yeon!, implied death(s) but the main one is up to interpretation, i know nothing about pirates nor sirens i'm making things up

notes: just wanted to write something based on the dive teasers and ended up making it way longer than my usual fics,, i also couldn't help but insert misamo in this. u guys know me and misamo...

also, dedicated to the lovely @royaltozaki <3

wc: 3.2k

"damn it!" you yell, kicking a rock in frustration. dahyun trails behind you as you pace around the beach, muttering constant apologies.

"captain—"

"enough! do you realize what you've done?" dahyun shrinks at your tone, nodding and looking even more guilty. "what if we're stranded here forever? you have no idea how hard it is to get rescued—hell, i don't think we have enough supplies to last us two mon—"

you had dahyun cornered against a tree. voice laced with venom, seeing pure red as the younger girl did her best to hold back tears.

your scolding was cut off by jeongyeon putting a hand on your shoulder. "y/n." she says, her tone not exactly harsh, but very far from the usual banter she'd have with you.

"lay off the poor girl, will ya?" jeongyeon frowns, moving to stand between you and the newbie. "she's doing her best."

you cross your arms, jaw clenched and staring at her like she was crazy. the taller woman sighs, nodding understadingly. she couldn't blame you for being mad—you were just doing your job as captain, after all. she just wished you wouldn't be so harsh on dahyun.

"look, i've got it covered. jihyo and i are working on the engine, nayeon's preparing lunch for everyone." she says, a gentler tone this time as she puts both hands on your shoulders. no matter that you were the captain now, you'd always be the little girl she and nayeon rescued in her eyes. "take a walk, okay? it's a beautiful island, it'll help clear your mind."

you grumble, looking away to think as you tapped your foot on the sand repeatedly. she's right, you were just letting your frustrations get the best of you. "fine." you mumble, storming off without another word.

jeongyeon sighs.

"i wouldn't worry too much about her," she says as she turns around, putting her hand on dahyun's shoulder this time. "she's just sensitive about this stuff."

dahyun looks at her, puzzled. jeongyeon nods, already knowing what she was going to ask. "she lost her girlfriend—tzuyu—in a wreck a few years ago. it was the one expedition where she wasn't there."

"she's captain now—give 'er some space, okay? she just wants to protect us, you included." jeongyeon reassures her, giving a smile and squeezing her arm before leading the both of them back to where the others were.

—

you curse to yourself as you trip over another root, kicking the tree that it belonged to. you wipe the sand off your front and sleeves, brows furrowing as you take deep breaths.

this definitely wasn't helping, you think. you huff, finding yourself in an area fenced off by rocks. the tide wasn't high, leaving more than enough room for you to sit and draw on the sand.

you sit, the waves barely crashing against the tip of your shoes. you take back what you thought—it was as beautiful and peaceful as jeongyeon described, you were just too stubborn to let it calm you down.

your focus goes to the wet sand in front of you. scooting closer, you shiver when you feel your pants begin to soak. the waves reach your ankles.

you keep staring at the dark sand, watching how the water continues to crash against it. leaving rocks and shells only to bring them back with it the next time a wave crashes.

without giving it much thought, you trace a heart into the sand. the next wave only consumes half of it, you redraw that half quickly.

the initials of you and tzuyu's names are written shortly after, a small smile gracing your face before the wave crashes back and takes tzuyu's inital back with it.

"what's up with you and taking my love, hm?" you scoff and toss a small stone into the water, attention back to the waves that continued to crash against your shoes and the cuffs of your pants.

"this is dumb." you mutter, running a hand through your hair. you cringe when you feel the strands that stuck to your sweaty skin. "jeong was right. mind cleared, time to go." you stand up, not even attempting to wipe the wet sand off your pants. you'd just gross yourself out.

"i don't think you've cleared your mind."

you whip your head around. that wasn't a voice you were familiar with. was your crew followed?

a giggle follows and you shiver, grabbing a small knife from your belt. "i'm not afraid of a fight." you say, getting into a protective stance. "i've taken the loves—"

"i don't care what you've taken." you see something—someone emerge from behind a rock in the water, head just barely peeking above the sea. "unless it's me, of course."

she smiles, her eyes dangerous.

"put that thing down." the mystery woman says, pointing at the knife in your hand. you shake your head.

"i said put it down." she seems to sing through her words this time, kind smile replaced with a deep scowl. you were about to tell her to piss off until you hear a quiet thump beside you.

you look down. when did you drop the knife? you were just holding it with an iron grip just a second ago—

"come here."

you were too busy trying to process what just happened to even realize that your legs were walking towards her.

"what the fuck?" you gasp once the cool water hits your chest. "what do you want? what are you? why are you—"

she laughs once more, finally face-to-face with you. "isn't she cute, girls?" she hums. you feel something wrap around your legs, her arms pulling you closer by the waist.

you look down, going stiff at seeing what exactly was holding your legs together. a tail.

a siren's tail.

you panic instantly, trying to free yourself from her grip. her grin only grows as a hand goes over your mouth and another pair holds your arms together.

you look to your side—another siren, black hair and blunt bangs squishing your face a little too hard. you look to your other side, a third siren, long black hair—long enough to cover her chest—held your arms tight against your body.

you look back to the one in front of you, light brown hair and a stare that burned straight down your core.

"a little feisty, though." the one holding your face says, squeezing a little harder when she feels you open your mouth to protest.

"doesn't matter, they're all the same anyway." the brunette—you assume she was their leader—muses, carefully moving the hand away from your mouth. you open it to say something, but she just shakes her head.

you can't seem to form words after that.

"hm," she whispers, face just inches from yours as she gets lost in thought.

"momo, mina, leave. this one's mine." she commands. they leave your side almost instantly, you sigh out of relief when you regain control over your arms.

"bring leftovers home for us, yeah, sana?" momo quips before disappearing into the water with mina.

you look back to sana. she was still staring straight through you, her gaze never left. not even to bid her girls goodbye.

"sana is a pretty name." the words leave your mouth before you can even think. what the hell were you doing? she was about to kill you, for fuck's sake!

the siren raises her eyebrows, a seductive smile gracing her face. "you're not concerned that she implied that i'm going to eat you?"

she observes you. every breath you take, every blink and every time you have to peel your eyes away from her cleavage. nothing goes undetected in her eyes.

you take the time to think. what exactly were you feeling? you were tzuyu's. you swore you always would be, no matter what. it's not like you were committing to anything with the creature holding you captive. hell, you were 100% sure she'd just gotten into your head.

jeongyeon had always warned you about sirens, but you never believed her. in your eyes, she was just trying to keep you from getting out of her sight.

now you couldn't keep your eyes away from sana.

maybe you were just sexually frustrated. she is very attractive for a monster known to kill pirates. then again, that's how they get 'em. or you're just bored. maybe it's both.

"...no?" you'd given the answer much thought, yet you were still unsure. sana feels her hunger and desire grow tenfold.

she grins again and you catch a glimpse of her razor sharp canines. "for a captain, you're really stupid. i like you." she hums, giving you exactly a second to process her words before crashing her lips onto yours.

this was wrong, so terribly wrong. you were kissing someone that wasn't your tzu and breaking the promise you made to jeongyeon about not daring to look at a siren.

you tense up and she notices, prompting her to move a hand to your neck and hold you still. unsurprisingly, her touch was ice cold. you moan involuntarily at that.

she wasn't even choking you or anything, she just felt so good against you.

"not so bad, huh?" she whispers when she pulls away to grant you a breath. sana hums something you couldn't comprehend and you nod, the action completely out of your control. "mhm, that's what i wanted to see."

you finally gave up trying to distinguish what were your choices and what was controlled by her song. your body belonged to her now, as far as the both of you knew.

sana kisses you again, trying not to smile too much when you sigh into it. her tongue swipes against your bottom lip, making you whine against her mouth once more.

you part your lips, wanting to feel her tongue against yours. instead, you feel her sharpest teeth pierce the skin of it.

you pull away, hating the taste of blood. you watch it drip down to the water before looking up at sana, her mouth dripping in your blood too.

"what? it hurts?" she grins, leaning in for another taste. "let's get you cleaned up, then." you have no time to respond before you're pushed into the water. (thankfully, you screwed your eyes shut before she did so.)

the wound on your lip stings. you try to swim up, but sana just pulls you back down and continues kissing you like it were nothing. her tongue goes in and out, you can feel her sharp nails scratching against your waist. at least her lips on yours distracted you from the pain of it all.

you feel her lips on your neck. your breath would hitch, but you can't breathe—you don't want to breathe. not necessarily craving death, but if it meant you'd never have to live with the fact you were letting this happen, it didn't sound terrible to you.

you're pulled back up, but she hardly lets you breathe anyway. one hand on the collar of your dress shirt, stopping you from escaping (as if you were trying to) and another rubbing your pussy through your pants. you weren't her first victim, you were sure of it now.

"wait—wait, sana—"

she finally pulls back for more than a second, pouting. "it's not very fun if i give you everything you want."

you raise an eyebrow, panting as you wipe blood off your lips. "this is the first time you've let me breathe since you pulled me into the water."

sana tilts her head, biting her lip as she looks away from your bleeding lip and up to your eyes. "cute. i can only give you one thing, you know? that's how we keep it fun, darling."

"now choose: the ability to breathe freely," she seems uninterested as she tears the buttons off your soaked shirt. "or let me do whatever i want?"

her eyes flit back up to you.

"well?"

"i was told to kill your kind, you know."

sana laughs again, backing you up against a large rock. it was incredibly attractive, like listening to death come collect your soul.

—

jeongyeon frowns when she sees that nayeon still hadn't touched her food, nor had she even sat down after telling everyone lunch was ready.

she gets down on the shore again, walking towards nayeon. the older woman was just standing, barefoot on the sand and letting the waves cover them in sand.

"worried about her?" jeongyeon asks, voice as gentle as the shore as she stands beside her lover. nayeon nods, leaning her head on her shoulder. "of course i am."

"she's strong, nay. she'll come back and forgive dahyun, trust me."

"not about that, jeong." nayeon mutters, fiddling with her necklace now. jeongyeon purses her lips.

"give her ten more minutes before i look for her, okay?"

nayeon nods, feeling a small weight lift off her chest. "okay."

—

"fuuuck, sana!" you groan as her tongue swirls around your nipple, her fingers pinching the other. you take a fistful of her wet hair and desperately attempt to push her head down to your pussy.

"got somewhere else to be?" she asks, her free hand replacing her lips as she straightens up. "...yes. your head has somewhere else to be, too." you mumble in frustration, face flushed.

"right." sana teases, opting to suck more hickeys into your neck instead. you were even more pissed now, but you found yourself too weak to protest against how fast she wanted to do things. she licks the fresh mark, making you whine.

"you hungry? your mom was making you lunch before this, no?"

"she's not my mom!" you reply, your mind wondering how sana knew about nayeon. then again, she'd probably been stalking you since you got shipwrecked here. "and i'm not hungry."

"i am." sana husks against your ear, chest heaving against yours. you tense up again. "calm down, i'm not going to devour you like that."

"not yet at least." she mumbles as she undoes your pants. you didn't allow yourself to laugh. "not funny." you mumble, she shrugs. "wasn't trying to be, darling."

sana lowers herself, kissing across your stomach while pulling your pants down. she takes your hands and forces you to hold them together. "do not touch me."

you weren't going to anyway, in fear of her using her song on you again. you learn to stop trying to predict her behavior. now you physically couldn't let go of your hands, just watching helplessly as sana descended into the water.

your leg gets thrown over her shoulder and she immediately latches onto your clit.

you hiss, her mouth warm compared to the cool water enveloping your entire lower half. you hear her faint giggles as her nails dig into your thigh, lapping up as much of you as she could.

her tongue was moving faster than you could think—in and out, swirling around your clit, moving anywhere and everywhere to coax those delicious sounds out of you. she was a relentless predator and you were just meek prey.

you whine through clenched teeth when you feel yourself rapidly approaching your climax. you didn't want to cum for her at all—much less give her the satisfaction of making you do so this quickly, but everything about her was so alluring and you were incredibly desperate to feel something after so long.

you make the mistake of looking down at her, bucking your hips up when you realize her eyes were still on you the whole time.

she lifts you up out of the water, both of your legs over her shoulders while her hands moved to steady your hips. you were practically laying on the smooth rock, hissing from the slight burn it gave you.

the filthy sound of sana eating you out was much easier for you to hear now and it drove you crazy. your thighs close around her head as you continue grinding against her face, making her smile against your lips. "cum, darling. don't be so scared of me." sana whispers, breath hot against you.

you stop fighting against it, cumming hard when she kisses your clit. your body relaxes quickly after, panting and focusing on trying to form a coherent thought that you didn't bother to notice sana was singing again.

sighing out of relief when you realize she was giving you control over your hands again, you lean up slightly only to see her climbing on top of you.

"we're not done, captain." she whispers against your wounded lips, capturing them in another kiss.

you try not to cringe at the feeling of her slimy tail against your legs.

—

"y/n, it's not funny anymore. you're going to give nayeon a heart attack!" jeongyeon calls out, sighing when you're not hiding out in a clearing amidst the trees.

it's been nearly an hour since she started looking for you. how far out could you have gone?

jeongyeon continues walking, her pace quickening the more she thinks about finding you passed out on the ground. she'd never forgive herself if anything happened—going on a walk to clear your head was her idea after all. (she'd never forgive herself for how nayeon would react, either.)

"y/n, i'm serious!" she calls out once more, reaching another part of the beach. her heartbeat quickens once she sees footprints.

—

your hands were on sana's boobs, one massaging and the other pinching at her nipple. she moans into your mouth, her hands going over yours.

"rougher, darling. how many times do i have to tell you?" sana says, smiling when she sees how tired you were when she pulled away from your lips. you were doing your best to catch your breath, hating that you couldn't keep up with sana.

it's not like you could shove her off you and kill her anyway, you could hardly move your legs as is. you hate that you fell into her trap—that you let her plan unfold.

there wasn't a single merciful bone in her body either. she was only keeping you alive to torture you at this point.

sana's lips reattach to your neck, kissing harshly but not leaving any more marks for the sake of keeping your head attached to your body.

her ears perk up when she hears someone calling your name from a distance, the fins extending as she looked towards the direction of the voice. you did too, heart dropping at the sight of jeongyeon looking around and yelling your name. you pray that sana dragged you out far enough for her not to spot you like this.

"ah, what a shame. that's our cue, darling." sana hums, letting herself fall back into the water and pulling you with her. you struggle against her grip, using the last of your strength to push her away. still, she was hardly exhausted. she easily captures you once more, holding you tight and forcing you to watch jeongyeon's figure on the shore grow smaller and smaller.

"don't worry, it's not the end for you yet." sana whispers, her lips grazing your ear. "you've been my favorite to ruin, darling."

you feel tears run down your cheek as you both submerge under the water once more. you don't bother to close your eyes anymore, the ocean didn't sting as much as it did years ago anyway.

sana sings again, her voice muffled in your ears. everything goes dark the second after she stops.

"rest up, darling." sana smiles, her arms tightening around you.

[hubbvrd]

Lego date | Joe Burrow

summary — Joe and you building some Lego together

pairing — joe burrow x reader

words — 1694

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"Tell me how you’re ever supposed to choose one here." Cocking your head you look up the large shelf that held countless Lego sets.

"If I find the answer, i'll be the first to tell you" replied Joe, who was standing a bit away from you and had taken a step closer to the shelf to get a closer look at the different lego sets.

You two were in a toy store that had a huge selection of lego, so it would be almost impossible to decide on a set that both of you wanted to build together.

You let out a slightly annoyed sigh, while you took your eyes off the many colorful boxes and turn to your boyfriend, who was holding one of the many boxes in his hand and seemed to be studying it carefully.

"What do you have there?" , curious you stepped over to Joe to take a look at the set.

"Chewbacca." Joe turned the box in your direction so you could catch a glimpse of the traced image of Chewbacca.

"Looks really cool, but if you remember we just put something together last week from Star Wars" , you reminded your boyfriend as you stepped towards the shelf again, tilting your head slightly as you began to pattern the colorful boxes once more.

"But Star Wars is cool. Especially Chewbacca. That one has to be in my collection," Joe started to convince you, so however, you shook your head with a smirk and reached for a box.

"I'm more here for."

You held the box with the time machine from Back to the Future in front of Joe's nose.

"This is really cool, too." , Joe replied as he put Chewbacca back on the shelf and you then took the box off to get a better look at the back to the future car.

"So this?" , you tried to get Joe to take this box to the checkout so both of you could make your way back home as quickly as possible, where you would put your comfy clothes back on and you both would then build the set together.

"I don't know..." Joe hesitated, so he put the box back on the shelf and began rubbing his chin.

The little wrinkle under his eye that always formed when Joe was thinking showed you that Joe wasn't really having an easy time deciding on his set.

But with such a large Lego selection, could you blame him?

"Or the house of Home alone," you pointed your finger at the matching set of Joe and your favorite Christmas movie, which you both watched together as a kind of tradition every Christmas.

"There's too much to choose from" , Joe almost whined, running his fingers through his blond hair, which subsequently sat rather tousled on his head.

"I know, but we can take one now and then in the next few weeks we'll get the others" , suggested you, trying to make Joe's decision a little easier, which, however, became anything but easy for Joe.

"Then I'll have to decide which set I'll take home first...", Joe whined almost like a little child, so that you held your hand over your mouth as a soft giggle escaped you.

It was kind of cute to see Joe standing desperately between the two shelves, just unable to decide.

"I guess that's the way it is." , you smirked as you buried your hands in your jacket pockets and slowly walked along the shelf to make the wait a little more exciting.

In the background you could hear Joe muttering softly to himself as you looked at all the different sets.

It was really amazing what Lego had produced in the meantime for sets and especially the prices were sometimes quite a number for themselves.

"Honey?" you heard Joe ask a few minutes later, so you turned around and looked over at your boyfriend.

"Yeah?"

"I think I've decided."

You walked over to Joe and was quite excited to see which set he had decided on and would build them right at home with Joe.

"Which one did it turn out to be?"

Without saying a word, Joe held out the box containing the Chewbacca Lego figure to you.

In fact, you had actually known from the beginning that Joe would choose this figure, as he had been quite blown away when he had pulled it off the shelf.

"Please don't be disappointed" Joe started the sentence almost pouting, while he saw that you was not too enthusiastic.

"I'm not disappointed." , you replied truthfully and pressed a gentle kiss on your boyfriend's cheek to make it clear to him once again.

"But you were probably hoping it would be a different set, since it was already Star Wars last week..."

"It's okay, Joey.Really. You decided on the set and now we're going to build it right at home."

In response, Joe merely nodded, clearly seeming to wrestle with himself over whether he should actually take Chewbacca.

"You know, we'll take Chewbacca with us and you pick out a set for that too, okay? Then we'll both be happy," Joe suggested after a few minutes of deliberation, so you summarily agreed and went off in search of a set to take with you.

It took a few minutes before you found what you were looking for and came over to Joe with the box behind your back.

"Did you find anything?" , he asked as he lifted his eyes from his phone and looked at his girlfriend.

"Yeah, and I already have a really cool idea of how we're going to place this at home," you replied with a grin, holding out an flower set to Joe.

A grin formed on Joe's lips before he rolled his eyes slightly. It had somehow been clear to him that you had chosen the Lego flowers

"Please," you almost pleaded when you realized that Joe wasn't too keen on the idea. You put on your puppy-dog eyes and pulled a slight pout, which you knew Joe couldn't very well say no to.

And sure enough, it worked. Joe sighed softly before putting the phone in his pocket and then a slight grin formed on his lips.

"How could I ever say no to that face?"

"Woohoo!" , you exclaimed joyfully while pressing the box against you.

Joe pressed a feather-light kiss to y/n's forehead before taking her hand, fingers intertwined, and the two made their way to the checkout.

And you couldn't tell which of the two was happier with their Lego sets, because the two were positively beaming.

About twenty minutes later, you had made yourselves comfortable on the soft carpet in front of the living room table on which you now wanted to build your Lego sets.

A soft drink and a few snacks of your choice were also waiting for you.

While Joe was connecting his cell phone to the Bluetooth box, you were already opening the box of Lego flowers and pouring the contents onto the table.

You could hardly wait to assemble the colorful Lego bouquet and then place it in a fancy vase on your living room table where everyone could see it.

"So we're going to start with the flowers?" Joe noted with a grin as he sat down opposite and reached for the assembly instructions.

"Yes, you were allowed to buy Chewbacca, but that doesn't mean we have to build him first." You give your boyfriend a cheeky grin and then tear open the packaging of the components with the large number 1 on them.

"Then the poor thing will probably stay in its packaging for a while longer," Joe sulked almost dramatically, which made you start to laugh.

Sometimes your boyfriend was really childish. But this childlike nature was a special part of Joe that you loved so much.

Because of his childish nature, you would occasionally do things together that you had loved doing as children.

Even the Lego dates that you and Joe used to go on were more or less your joint highlight.

So not only could you build various sets together, but you could also get the Lego sets that your parents used to say no to.

"If you finish my flowers quickly, we can finish Chewbacca today," you try to motivate Joe, who looks down at all the little Lego pieces with his eyebrows drawn together.

"This is going to be a lot of work." The person opposite you grumbled slightly as he picked up a few small pieces and began to assemble the first flower.

"Don't be like that" You smiled as you kept handing Joe a suitable piece, certain that you would make faster progress this way.

A few hours later, you had managed to finish assembling both sets. While Joe's Chewbacca had now found his place on the sideboard under the TV, your flowers had found a special place on the living room table.

"I think I'm getting old. My muscles hurt from sitting on the floor all day" You were almost moaning as you began to massage your neck.

"My poor darling," Joe grinned as he put his arms around you and pulled you closer to him. "Then the next Lego dates will probably have to be canceled."

"Says the guy who last night was still secretly trying to circle countless sets in the Lego catalog that he still wants like a little kid."

In fact, Joe had been sitting on the sofa last night with a Lego catalog and a pen, circling some sets that he wanted to get later.

When you came into the living room, the quarterback had shoved the catalog under the sofa cushion in a panic, hoping you wouldn't discover it.

"You got me," your boyfriend sulked, causing you to grin wryly.

"Of course I did, but I saw that there were some good sets in there."

"So you're going to build them all with me?"

Joe lowered his eyes to you and looked at you almost hopefully.

"I will be. Luckily, we still have an incredible amount of time together in which to build various Lego sets."

[sometimesliterate]

dr ratio vs. the genius society | an analysis

this'll also be a comparison between ruan mei and dr. ratio so warning for that one too, just in case.

i saw this post by @chronical-lover

and firstly, i just want to say thank you, especially about mentioning how aeons don't care about humans because youre so right. i wanna expand a little bit on the comparison between his character and the genius' that we've met this far.

ratio ultimately failed to be recognized not because he wasn't smart enough, but because he was too human. he's human first, scientist second. he'll always be human first, he doesn't have it in him to act without emotions no matter how much he wants logic to dictate his every move. his entire character is that he believes every one has a human right to be alive, to learn and to grow. he's there to guide them, not necessarily in the nicest way, but still.

i think contrasting him with ruan mei in the story quest was a perfect idea. when you meet ruan mei, she's kind. she makes the trailblazer feel comfortable, even for just a little bit. she offers companionship, tea, and a conversation. but she does not care about the trailblazer or her creations, something painfully obvious in her actions. when the trailblazer was facing up against ruan mei's failed attempt to make a replica of the emanator of propagation, ruan mei was no where to be found. but you know who was, just in case he had to step in ? veritas ratio. even though both knew that the replica wasn't likely to hurt the trailblazer, ratio was there.

" since you're here, i won't intercede. but should you fail, i will be forced to prevent some avoidable misfortunes "

( i hate this man so much )

but he was there. he witnessed the fight, and once the threat was over, it was time to get going ( his words, not mine ). he was there to witness you fight, and should he had needed to, he would've stepped in to prevent us from any actual danger. however, when we approach ruan mei after the fight, and we look reasonably upset from her, we don't get an actual apology. she says she regrets her actions, but her words aren't actually about putting us in danger. she was upset that her experiment fell short, that she had made another predictable outcome.

" you look.. upset, correct ? i regret my actions. there's no defending what i've done. time and again, my experiments have fallen short, and they've always yielded predictable results. i made a clone but it.. doesn't hold a candle to the emanator. "

she did say that she would be there if the danger proved to be too great, but she was not. veritas, however, was. both of them said that they would step in if needed, but only one of them was actually in a position to do so. only one of them took preventative measures to make sure that you were safe from harm. and that is not the genius ruan mei, no matter what her words say.

ruan mei has a flowery way of speaking. not to say that she necessarily minces her words, she's upfront about a lot of things. but she lures the trailblazer into a false sense of security. she's introspective, and questions her own actions a lot. but she's never apologetic about the way that her actions put other people in danger, just that they don't yield the results she wants.

ratio, however, is curt. we meet him originally as a brooding, mysterious figure. he's mean, he doesn't use a lot of words to get his point across. he says what he means, and he's a fan of effective communication. he doesn't have to worry about himself, he knows who he is and how is actions affect himself and the people around him, and that leads to people assuming that he's egotistical ( which he might be , a little bit. as a treat ) but the reality is that ratio cares more about the people around him that he'll ever let on.

and that's where he fails. that's the fundamental difference between him and those within the genius society. ruan mei, herta, screwllum, and the other geniuses do not care about anything other than results. and yet ratio is kind. he's inherently kind, his actions are all for other people. he's saved a dozen worlds with his inventions. he's a scholar within the intelligentsia guild, and a doctor saving his patient's lives every single day. he wants to guide people from the shadows towards the right answer, he wants to make them use their brains and think.

he does not act without considering other people. he can't be a genius first, and a human second. and that's where he fails to gain nous' recognition. it's not that he's not not intelligent enough to be a genius, it's that even in his pursuit of knowledge, he has not forgone his humanity.

and perhaps, in nous' eyes, that's the difference between the mediocre and the genius. to erase every part of you, your emotions, your empathy, your humanity, in the pursuit of knowledge is what separates a genius from the masses. not having those barriers allows you to really dig deep into subjects that would otherwise be considered taboo or dangerous, because you don't care about how the outcome affects people as long as you can study it. as long as you can get answers out of what you're studying, it doesn't really matter what the test subjects are feeling.

ratio is too human, too caring, to ever be considered a genius in nous' eyes.

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Zagan NSFW alphabet

This goes to my friend @katy-the-same-as-tsuki who's the biggest Zagan simp.

Aftercare

what they're like after sex

Sweet, as always. He'll help you take a shower and give you a quick massage to make sure that you didn't strain any muscle. He always carries a water bottle with him, because hydration is key, and gives it to you to drink a bit.

Body Part

their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's

He likes legs. His legs, your legs, anyone's legs. He's favorite work out excercise (other than sex with you) is running on the traidmill. He takes you out to gym dates where you both run together. He enjoys how the motion of running looks like, on him or you. If you squeeze him between your thighs, he will cum instantly.

Cum

anything to do with cum, basically

He's very scared of cumming inside because Astaroth told him way too many stories of unplanned human pregnancies. Even if he's fucking your ass or you're giving him a blowjob he'll pull out and cum on your back or face.

Dirty secret

pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs

He wants to get stepped on so much but he's too shy to say it out loud. Just, the thought alone of seing you from above as you put pressure on his chest or his back turns him on to an emberassing degree.

Experience

how experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?

He has had his fair share of sex. Of course, Solomon, duh, but I think he also did it with Paimon. I have no explination, I just feel it in my balls. Maybe Paimon got really interested in Zagan's charms since they're kind of stickers and Zagan showed him how he does it. And long story short, at some point they fuck. Like all good friends do.

He only had sex with people that took the lead and told him how to do it (or fucked him, let's be honest) so he still needs guidence during sex for at least the first few times.

Favorite position

this goes without saying

He likes to top since he enjoys moving. Anything where he has to move is fine by him, though he does prefere changing positions every so often. It's not good to only work one set of muscles.

Goofy

are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous?

Once he opens up to you, he starts being more goofy in the moment. Maybe cracking a few jokes here and there or booping your nose during aftercare. His laugh is deep yet so adorable, you get cuteness aggression from it. If you make a joke during sex, he'll stop and laugh before slowly picking up pace. He can be serious as well, don't get me wrong, but having someone he can be more open to is also nice.

Hair

how well groomed are they?

He trims himself, but doesn't wax. If the hair was too long it would itch and if it was too short his skin would become irritated from sweat and running, so trimming it is. He's quite stubborn about this so even if you asked him to wax he wouldn't.

Intimacy

how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect

He's sweet and once he gets to know you better, he likes to leave small butterfly kisses all over your face. Before sex, he likes to first slowly strip off your clothes and he let's you do the same for him. He kisses every inch of skin he can while caressing your cheek and staring in your eyes lovingly. He's still shy, but he likes being romantic in the moment.

Jack Off

masturbation headcanons

When he unexpectingly gets a boner, he slowly retreats into his room. He closes all windows, doors, covers every nook and cranny to make sure nobody can see him jerk off. He fucks his hand and he's very rough because he wants to have it done and over with as soon as possible. Once he's done he cleans everything off and runs back outside like nothing happened.

Kink

one or more of their kinks

Praise kink, Dom/sub dynamic and masochism. He gets very mushy if you praise him. He likes knowing that he's serving you well. He likes subbing most of the time because he enjoys getting ordered around and being told/shown what to do. He, like everyone in Gehenna, likes getting hit. He can endure a lot, so don't hold back.

Location

favorite place to do the do

Always inside. He's too shy to try and do it somewhere where he could get caught. His favorite is inside the room you summon during the H-scenes. It's a lot better since nobody can get in.

Motivation

what turns them on, gets them going

Seeing you at the gym would instantly give him a boner. Especially if you're wearing short clothes. He'll probably try to keep it together until he finally snaps and rubs your arm to get your attention. He has a problem and he thinks you could solve it. He won't force anything on you, but at least let him take a photo to masturbate to.

No

Something they wouldn't do, turn offs

He's not into domming that much. He feels very uncomfortable being put in a possition of power and he'd much rather you tell him what to do and how than the other way around. He's also against getting tied up. The main thing he likes about sex in general is the movement, and if he's tied up that kind of ruins the fun.

Oral

preference in giving or recieving, skills, etc.

He'd much rather give. He likes serving and being ordered around, so having your thighs wrapped around his head and using his horns for support as you hump his face is his own version of paradise.

If you tried to suck him off, he would, at first, try to push you away. Yet he won't you if you persist. He get really mushy while being given head.

Pace

are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?

He's the one setting the pace more often than not. It depends on his mood that day, but he usually starts of slow so you two can both adjust to the feeling before picking up pace. If you tell him to slow down or move faster, he'll oblige. He's very considerent of your comfort so he doesn't want to overwhelm or underwhelm you.

Quickie

their opinions on quickies, how often

He wouldn't do them unless you asked him to. I mean, of course, if you almost fainted from lack of devil energy, he'll find a dark corner and do it there, your life is more important than his anxieties. But he wouldn't go out of his way to have them either.

Risk

are they willing to experiment? Do they take risks?

He is willing to experiment as much as possible. He's very flexible both in body and mentality. He might be shy at first, but he'll get into it quickly. Just tell him before hand. He would feel very confused if, in the middle of sex, you started calling him "daddy". He's not against it per say, whatever makes you happy, just tell him so he isn't caught off guard by it.

Stamina

how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?

He has infinite stamina, but each round is quite short. It's not his foult that you're so pretty and so tight and you tease him so much he just can't last for long with so much stimulation. He'll go for as many rounds as you can, because he doesn't want you to wake up sore all over, but each turn lasts about 3-4 minutes.

Toys

do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partener or themselves

He doesn't own toys, but once his partner introduces him to them, he'll constantly ask to use them. On himself, mostly. His favorite is a butt plug with a bunny tail attached to it. He might ask you if he can keep it.

Unfair

how much they like to tease

Not that much. He would rather be teased by you. He would at most show off his shooting abilities when he notices you staring, but nothing more. You have an important job to do and he can't be the reason you get distracted. Go save the world and than you can ogle at him as much as you'd like.

Volume

how loud are they? What sounds do they make?

He's very quiet only occasionally letting out chocked moans and groans. If you tease him, he'll whimper and if you don't let him cum he'll whine. He's non-verbal, but he will thank you for the oportunity once you're done for the night.

Wildcard

a random headcanon for the character

Once Satan kicked him so hard that he came on the spot and now he's constantly trying to annoy Satan enough he does it again.

Yearning

how high is their sex drive

When he's with you, he does tend to get flustered and think about more impure thoughts, but he can focus if need be. Sex once every two weeks or something along those lines is enough for him.

Zzz

how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

It's very unlikely that your human stamina will outlast his, and even then he's careful not to fall asleep before you. He needs to protect you, and he can't do that if he falls asleep too swiftly. Also, he sleeps with his eyelids half opened (like a rabbit) and he doesn't want to freak you out with that.

[genoskissors]

Finally done! Thank you everyone for your patience!

Principal Monokuma’s Room Check!

Trigger Happy Havoc Boys

THH Girls Rooms (WIP)

There are a few notes throughout to explain some things I thought most would not know (like Japanese traditions) or just to clarify things changed in localization.

Naegi-kun’s Room Edition

Sigh. It’s the private room where a high school boy spends his agonizing nights, even so, what’s with this plainness!? Why don’t you have something more shameful or embarrassing!? Naegi-kun, I’m disappointed in you!

Checkpoints: A: It’s the memo pad I prepared. It would be nice if it had Hope’s Peak Academy’s school emblem on it, to give it a rich feeling.

B: This is the key to the room. It has a key holder with the appropriate name on it. It cannot be bought and is very sophisticated, so improper usage is prohibited!

C: It’s a mock sword that was kept on the display shelf. Even though it was only decoration, it was carefully displayed, so an incident happened. Upupupu.

D: I heard that mysterious curly hair grows in boys’ rooms. An adhesive lint roller is useful for frequent cleaning! I’m so attentive! Note: Don't really know what this means, I think it might be referencing Junko's hair.

Ishimaru-kun’s Room Edition

It’s a room filled with study materials and is well organized, just as one would expect from a serious person like Ishimaru-kun’s room. Hmm~ If you spend all your energy on this, you won’t be able to focus on the killing game!

Checkpoints: A: Dictionaries and reference books are the most exciting when lined up neatly on your desk. Huh? Are you using them properly? Hee~...

B: He irons his uniform every day. Also, the armbands as well, so you know he really likes this things.

C: A New Year’s tradition, Kakizome. I suggest “In early spring, be careful of bears, as they can get ferocious!” Huh? Aren’t you going to start writing?

D: What kind of guy likes to swing around a bamboo sword even though he isn’t part of the kendo club? Do you stand on the ground, put your forehead on it, and spin around to split a watermelon? Note: This is a Japanese game called Suikawari.

Togami-kun’s Room Edition

Genuine rich people tend to seek a more modest sense of luxury rather than those who are nouveau riche. I have no clue how much Togami-kun’s room actually costs. Note: “Nouveau riche” refers to people who become rich themselves and “genuine rich people” refers to people who were born into a rich family, like Byakuya.

Checkpoints: A: It’s a violin or something. Famous ones can be worth billions. That’s more expensive than the famous Chinese medicine, bear bile, which is very pricey, roar! Note: Based on the phrase "violin or something" it's likely a viola. That's just my theory though.

B: There is nothing more difficult than determining the value of a painting. In many cases, collecting these masterpieces is not about appreciating art, but investing in it.

C: Ahaha! A red carpet laid out from the entrance, Togami-kun must be kidding me! That’s what the life of stardom is about!

D: The famous line “I will kill you, without fail!” is what makes Togami’s glasses indispensable! I can’t believe he has 10 of them, that’s quite a thorough preparation!

Oowada-kun’s Room Edition

I believe that biker gangs are a style and a fashion. That’s why it’s necessary for those who call themselves bikers to have an easy-to-understand logo or item that appeals to everyone. Upupu.

Checkpoints: A: These are the big flags put on the back of bikes, aren’t they? I always wonder if they are safe from being blown away by the wind.

B: These are all motorcycle magazines, right? I’m not going to go as far as suggesting philosophy books or economic magazines, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to open a textbook once in a while?

C: Are you really satisfied with the 5G “ Cypress Stick”? Isn’t the 1500G “Steel Broadsword” the catharsis? Note: I’m pretty sure this is a Dragon Quest reference.

D: This is the colorful banner of Oowada’s gang, “Crazy Diamonds”. Hmm, you’re only really good at difficult kanji.

Kuwata-kun’s Room Edition

Hey, Kuwata-kun, baseball doesn't even have a “ya” character! I know you don't like it, but now that you're at our school, maybe you could try to act like a baseball player, even if it's a front? Note: The Japanese word for baseball, Yakyuu (野球), has a “ya” in it, so I think Monokuma is just saying this to see if Leon will even care enough to react to his statement.

Checkpoints: A: Why do self-proclaimed punk fans like human skulls? A sea bream head has another sea bream inside, right? That's even more favorable! Note: I'm not gonna lie, I have no clue what that second sentence means. I think it relates to the saying “鯛の尾より鰯の頭”, but I still don't know how it correlates.

B: I want CDs and DVDs to come in splendid limited edition packaging, but they don’t fit neatly like this. How troubling.

C: Carrying your guitar case on your back and feeling tired as you walk around town is super cool. There was a time when I thought that way too.

D: In order to stand out and be popular, you need to have vocals. Kuwata-kun's purity is manly in a sense. I would like to hear his beautiful voice. Upupu.

Yamada-kun’s Room Edition

A utopia making the world’s geeks water at the mouth, the pink love nest of Buuko and Yamada-kun. As a despair maniac, I am driven by a desire for a room devoted solely to my hobby. Note: Buuko is Princess Piggles in the localization.

Checkpoints: A: Hey, I’m giving it everything I got to ask this question, is this what Yamada-kun is wearing? Isn’t it self-indulgent to wear it on his 170cm and 155kg body!?

B: “MARTIAL ARTS LADIES”, “This time, I’ll punish you on the mat!”.  I don’t understand why martial arts cosplay makes your heart pound.

C: Some people say these sheets and body pillow are perverted, but the desire for skin contact is neither two-dimensional nor three-dimensional.

D: Three-dimensional objects have a sense of unity because they are equipped with a three-dimensional concept. The shading of light and the convergence of existence are astonishing (The following is omitted). Note: “The following is omitted” is just a way of saying Monokuma kept rambling.

Yasuhiro-kun's Room Edition

Hagakure-kun’s love of fortune-telling is, quite honestly, shady, right? Even though he has all these tools, he still uses intuition to tell fortunes, doesn’t he? So, what in the world are these piles of junk for!?

Checkpoints: A: People with extremely dry skin tend to have a lot of wrinkles on their palms, which makes palm readers cry. It’s hard to even do fortune-telling these days.

B: Fortune-telling cards are great for mysteries and romance. If I sold "Monokuma’s Carefully Made Pure Gold Tarot", maybe I could make a profit. Upupupu.

C: If anything, Hagakure-kun has more of an oriental divination image. When I see tools like this, I want to display them in an alcove or something.

D: Come on! How many times do I have to say this!? When buying fortune-telling goods online, do not cash on delivery! This time, I was the one who paid for it too!

Fujisaki-kun’s Room Edition

Even though he’s the Super High School Level Programmer, Fujisaki-kun actually has a variety of hobbies. That’s good, science... a science student! I want to learn many things from him.

Checkpoints: A: Three monitors and a luxurious-looking executive chair. He looks like a young company president or day trader. A serious side profile would be wonderful!

B: I don’t know what this is, but it looks amazing anyway! It looks like an ancient map or some other geeky item.

C: After people learn how to interact with the romantic hyperspace of the universe, their outlook on life changes drastically. That’s what I thought just now.

D: Tada! There are hand grips on the bed! It makes me tear up to know he was secretly training.

[ash-says]

How to feel sexy instead of cute:

Before we dive into it I personally feel everyone is blessed with a set of attributes and you should not force yourself out of your way to change it. True essence blossoms when you accept yourself and add to it rather than subtracting things.

Being said that I also understand we all have occasions where we want to look sexy and honestly as girls we should play a little with our looks.

Next whatever I am saying here is not at all applicable to girls below 18. Darling go and study it's not your arena for now.

This post is completely based on personal experience so take it with a grain of salt.

1) Define your sexy.

No no I am not talking about manifestations and subliminal here. Clearing this before hand. What I am asking you to do is what you find sexy. What makes you tingle.

An example for me is being sexy translates to being dressed in off shoulders, wild curly hairs, adorned in jewellery, outfits that have a teasing touch, being a little mean, sassy comebacks, untouchable aura and obviously having a "I don't care what they say. I am in my own league." vibe.

2) Makeup

I am not a pro at this but I surely know the type of makeup that transforms my face into a sultry mess. Trial and error is the way here.

3) Outfits and jewellery

This is a no brainer that you should experiment in various outfits and pick those that make you look and feel sexy. A side note make sure you are comfortable in them. There's no point in wearing clothes that you have zero idea on how to carry. I have seen people wearing short dresses and being called vulgar because they had no idea on how to carry them and then another person wearing more revealing clothes still being called graceful and hot at the same time.

So it's kinda in the energy I guess.

4) Being comfortable in being sexy and a little bit objectified

Harsh truth here but if you are planning to be sexy you shouldn't quickly take offense in being objectified. I know it's wrong but then that's how the world works. Until and unless it's harmless do not react and accept the compliments graciously. If they overstep the boundaries and say something vulgar put them in their place until then it's fine. Be comfortable in getting side eyes and stares. You will get them alot!

5) Unwavering confidence

Know you are looking the part! Know you are that girl( if it makes sense)! No self doubts. I know everyone has it but in public concealment is the key. Move like you own the room and have a demeanor that speaks, " I know I am hot." Again people will try to bring you down so instead of letting it get to you either ignore or give a befitting reply depending on the situation.

6) Practice it alone so you shine in public

This helped me personally and still does. For every outfit I wear I have a personality curated and I practice it alone first in front of the mirror. Like an actor. I have a white sleeveless crop top with V neck I have attributed it to the graceful corporate babe personality and whenever I wear that I make sure to act like it. So I mix a little bit of hot and cold vibes to it. You get the point right?

7) Dance and music

The art forms you consume goes a long way to how you express yourself. Human beings are great at mimicking. After all we are monkeys at core. Invest your time in this and you will automatically see the result. It's a practical tip. Do it to find out.

8) Sensual touch

Even though I struggle with this at times because I don't have much sexual experience, I read somewhere that if you want to give a sensual and slutty vibe without coming off as vulgar softly and sensually touch the things around you. Pick up the glass slowly, slightly graze your fingers on the table or a cloth or whatever you feel okay with as if you are feeling the texture of it. Be present in your body and in tune with your senses. Slow down and don't be in a rush while doing mundane tasks. Trust me it works like hell. The amount of times I have been told I come off so graceful and classy by slowing down and doing things carefully and gracefully. Watch old barbie movies girls and see how they pick up things and move in routine works. You will get what I mean.

9) Standards

Nothing screams being sexy than having standards and knowing oneself. It's the key to it. Know you are not everyone's cup of tea and be comfortable with it. Be disgustingly educated and intelligent. Develop wit and sass because once you start working on this you will automatically start developing standards. Make sure to stick to them.

10) Untouchable

Gatekeep yourself. Don't try to impress people. Rather let them impress you (please note use this according to the situation. Don't do this in front of an HR or client or boss) Don't be swayed by people's money, success or looks. Know they are standing in their truth and you are standing in yours. Their light doesn't diminish yours. Be picky and choosy with who you associate yourself with. Have a life and don't be overly friendly. Network but don't people please. Be a person of substance not a doormat. Be private about your life and have a close knit circle with trustworthy people. It establishes influence and demand. Be open towards people but not so open that every other person knows your life history and problems.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

[melinoelliones]

Jax NSFW Alphabet

I don't even know how I managed to forget to do his NSFW Alphabet... So anyways here it isss

Jax - Heat Part 2 is coming btw!!! It's almost done. Click here to read Jax Heat Part 1 if you haven't read already!

What I think he would do may not align with what YOU think he would do! I have tried to make this mostly gender neutral but I fear I slipped a bit of x Fem Reader is there. Also sorry for the ugly banner, his png's aren't great lmao.

My writing skills have fallen off since I've been off for like what 2 months, but I am working on getting better!!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Jax is the type to talk over what you guys just did in bed, maybe mock you a bit but it always follows up with him smothering you in kisses and ass grabs. His large grin shows as he pulls you closer knowing you get embarrassed when he mocks you. 

“?!&% ?!&% ?!&%, feels so good” he moans out, mocking your previous words as you hide your head into his chest in hopes that you’ll disappear from this world. “I’m just kidding babe, you’re so hot when you do it. Lets me know i’m doing it right yanno” he jested, slapping his hand against your ass before pulling you tighter into his chest.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Jax likes his hands the most. Them in contrast to your body drives him crazy, and seeing his fingers in you is insane.

His favourite part of you would be your stomach or thighs for sure. He’s a thighs guy, what can I say. When you and the guys are hanging out, he is 100% sitting with his head on your thighs or just between your legs like its nothing.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Anywhere and everywhere. He loves to cover you in it, your perfect body being defiled by his cum is everything to him. Only he gets to do that to you, you’re his property and he can do whatever he wants with it.

He also just likes filling you with it, after rounds and rounds he gets to watch it slowly try and seep out of your precious holes.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He enjoys watching you get off, he could sit and watch like it was a tv show. Bonus points if he can guide you through it, making you edge yourself until you ignore his commands and he has to come over and punish you.

His oral fixation comes in waves, having your tits in his mouth is like heaven. He will never tell a single soul that, even you, but we all know it. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

A part of me wants to say that in the outside world he’s a raging virgin, now he’s in the circus so he can just go crazy.

But another part of me wants to say he’s super experienced, but he’s never been with someone like you. Not even in a stereotypical way, but he’s just not usually into you as a type.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

Mutual masterbation where ya’ll are side by side. From time to time he’ll just slide his free hand over to your body and play with it too.

Doggy but he’s so unserious with it. He’ll put his foot up by your head to make sure to get as deep as he can into you.

Cowgirl/riding and reverse cowgirl for sure. His hands are so large that they can carry your body with ease, so being in these positions means when he wants me he can just place them above your hips and slam you into him. Then he gets to watch your stomach bulge out with each stroke and your face contort.

“?!&%, well would you look at that” Jax hissed, skimming his fingertips across your stretched skin as he took in the sight of the bulge protruding from your stomach. 

Jax let out a small chuckle before grabbing your hand and placing it over the hump, “you feel that doll? You feel how full you are hmm?”. Your glossy eyes glanced into his as he began to thrust into you, your palm rising and falling with each one.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He can be humorous but most times I don’t even think it’s intentional.

Like if he was to say “woahhh, easy there tiger. If you go that fast you’ll cum before me, and you know that's not allowed”. I’d probably laugh but he’s dead serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Canonically… probably none.

To ME, he wouldn’t care to keep himself trimmed up nice. It’s a bit crazy down there but I don’t care.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can be both super romantic and just zoned in.

“?!&% babe keep going, my cock feels so good in that pretty throat of yours”

“Oh you poor thing, are you tired? But I’m not finished with you yet, so looks like we have a little bit longer to go”

“You’re mine, my personal fuck toy remember? So come over here, let me use your body for a bit”

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Why would he get off himself when he has you? You can fulfill every need and more at any given time.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dacryphilia for sure, he mocks you for crying but he want more always

“Are you crying?” he cooed, grinning as he looked down at your sweet face, your tears mixing with your saliva at the corners of your lips.

“Awww you poor thing, bit off more than you can chew did we? Better finish off what you started, you’re doing so well, I’ll make sure to paint that pretty little throat of yours white” Jax growled, caressing your damp lower face with his hand and sliding his cock deeper down your throat, your gargles slowly inching him closer and closer to ecstasy. That and the fact he could see you rubbing your thighs together for your own enjoyment.

Overstimulation and edging for sure, he’s the ultimate tease. There are days he will make you edge yourself over and over again until you can’t any longer, just to then take over and overstimulate you till your body is a mess.

Free use and CNC 100% You guys have nothing but spare time, so having you at his disposal at all times is perfect. He doesn’t care the location, who’s around or who could come around. If he wants it, he’ll have it, and everyone else will have to deal with it.

“B~But Gangle is looking for us J~Jax”, “So? Why the hell do I care? That crybaby won’t say a word regardless. I want to fill you up right here and now n no one will stop me from doing so” he vowed, unbuckling his overalls with one hand and leaning you over the railing with the other.

L = Location (favourite places to do they do)

Anywhere, he legit does not care where. He does enjoy public places though as he enjoys watching your nervous face when you hear the others roaming around, and he gets to feel you clench around him as they get closer due to fear.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You being a brat, he likes to fuck the brat out of you. 

Also just when you’re super needy, your body listens well when it wants something.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Toys on himself, he really isn’t into it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Is it bad if I say his preference is receiving? Not saying he doesn’t give, but he prefers to get head.

“Ugh fine, stop with the frowning already and come over here before I change my mind” Jax huffed, rolling his eyes as he gestured for you to go to him. Sometimes he would act as if he didn’t want it, but he thoroughly enjoyed having you on his face, your thighs encasing his face as he got to play with you. 

“Remember dollface, I’m the one in control here, so I’ll have you here until all you can focus on is my tongue against you”

He enjoys head, so much so that he just has to fuck you after every time.

“?!&% you did so good, so ?!&%ing good baby” he breathlessly huffed, tangling a large portion of your hair into his hand and sliding you off of his dripping cock, a mixture of spit and cum still connecting you to it as he yanked you up. 

Before you could even really comprehend what was going on, your lips met his, resulting in the neediest of kisses. You hadn’t even had a chance to take a breath before, both of your hands now roughly exploring eachothers bodies, you both wanted nothing more than to be one.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Both. Sometimes he just needs to be balls deep in you, crashing into you with no remorse. Other times he likes to take it slow and and make sure you feel every touch.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Daily. Not much else to do is there.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

All the time, again, y'all have endless time so why not?

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go like 4-5 rounds back to back, others just 2 but a load of oral in between.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

On you he loves them, especially the vibes. Making you have one on you while you guys are with the others is like entertainment for him. Having to watch you squirm in silence while the others stare, oblivious as to why you're so antsy. 

“Are you okay? You’re acting like Pomni right now?”, “They’re fineeee, aren’t you? Go on, tell them” Jax jested, turning up the vibe as you went to open your mouth, knowing full well you wouldn’t be able to form a straight sentence with it that high.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

To the point that it could drive one insane.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He isn’t too loud but he likes to dirty talk, he knows it turns you on.

“Does my cock feel that good? You’re drooling”

“Go on, cum on this cock. Make sure everyone knows it’s yours”

“You think Caine can see us right now hmm? Lets put on one hell of a show for him, I know he probably has one hell of a filthy mind. If he didn’t, wouldn’t he have stopped up by now?”

“You’re so ?!&%ing lucky I can’t breed you in this place”

“Do you want the others to hear you? Because you aren’t too good at holding your tongue”

“I’m gonna fill you up nice and good, only I can violate this, it’s mine”

“Stop covering your mouth, I need to hear how well I fuck you”

W = Wild card (a random dirty headcanon for the character)

He wants to watch you fuck someone else, just so he can see how pathetic they are at making you feel good. Only he can make you cum, only he knew your sweet spots and what you liked. You’re practically molded to him, you are his and no one will compare, but he wants to watch someone try.

Jax watched as one of the NPC’s he had snuck in frantically fucking you, your fake moans only making him sigh heavily in the chair at the end of the bed. He was almost getting annoyed at the fact that this NPC was barely even trying, he was just using your body at this point. 

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll make sure you actually cum” Jax reassured, caressing your cheek before making his way to your legs, “A* for effort but you’re done” he scowled, shoving the NPC aside before he could even consider defiling your body any further.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Its girthy and long. It took you a long time to get use to, but now nothing else can satisfy you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It can go from wanting it everyday to just tired of it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

It can be pretty instant after the aftercare, but even while asleep his body still pulls you into him for security.

[spooky-wisp]

"Good, 'cause I want you to be my Dad."

Repost from other account

1.5k words

CW: Domestic fluff, she/her use, afab reader, mentions of Billy's death (briefly), Billy Hargrove illegitimate child, mention of marriage and unconventional proposal

Early Winter 1989

The sound of clattering filled the kitchen as Eddie quickly steadied the bright green bowl on the counter. A pair of wide innocent blue eyes look up at him from the floor as he shushes him softly.

"We can't make too much noise. It's too early. You'll wake up your mom." A small giggle comes from the small boy next to him as he gave him a pointed look.

"Sorry Eddie." He says, continuing his giggling as he trots over to the lower cabinet next to the fridge, ninja turtle slippers dragging against the cold linoleum.

Eddie watched the little one open the cabinet and grab a box of off-brand sugary cereal almost as big as he was. His little waves of hair bobbing as he carried it over to the counter, he set it on the hard surface, climbing onto the chair propped up against the counter next to Eddie.

"Not too much now. We don't want you hopping off the walls when we go out in the snow later." He pouts, pouring the cereal into his bowl, Eddie supervising, as he knew this kid loved doing everything himself.

"Good?" His little face looked up at him for approval. Eddie nods, watching the kid go put the box back.

"Go turn your cartoons on, I'll get the milk."

This became the normal Saturday morning routine every time Eddie stayed at his girlfriend's apartment. Being woken up at 7am by her son Oliver, mostly called Ollie, just to watch cartoons together and eat cereal in front of the TV.

Not the most extravagant tradition, but it was something he enjoyed regardless.

Time passes as they dine on their bowls of cereal and watch the newest episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Ollie sets his bowl down on the floor, looking up at Eddie seated in his usual recliner. Enjoying his own bowl of cereal.

"Eddie?" The curly-haired musician stopped his chewing to look down at the boy. He looks nervous almost as he fiddles with the buttons on his pajama shirt.

"Yeah kid?"

"You love my Mom, right?" Eddie raises an eyebrow, a soft clank breaks the silence as he drops his spoon in his bowl.

"Of course I do. I love your Mom a lot." Ollie nods, looking back at the television, watching an ad for some brand new toy coming out soon.

"And you love me, right?" The brunet sat forward, having a feeling he knew exactly where this conversation was going.

"I love you just as much as your Mom, Bud." Eddie studied the profile of the little boy's face as he turned to look at the older man.

"Are you going to marry my Mom?" Eddie's eyes went wide, his mouth slipping open with a shocked 'uhh', Ollie patiently waiting for his answer.

"I'd like to some day if she wants to..." He chuckled nervously, watching the little boy nod and look back at the TV again as his cartoon came back on.

"Good, 'cause I want you to be my Dad."

Eddie stared at the kid, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach. Nerves started to get the better of him as he started to dwell on the thought.

He never really pictured himself being the father type because he didn't really grow up with a Dad. Just his Uncle Wayne when he took him in at a young age after his own father went to prison.

He knew what it was like growing up without a father, and he knew about the situation of your son's biological father dying years ago in the Hawkins Mall fire. Right before you could even tell him you were pregnant.

This poor kid would never get to know his real dad, but by how you described the guy maybe it was for the best.

"You really want me to be your old man?" Ollie turned again, looking up at Eddie. His beautiful little blue eyes gleamed at the thought, making Eddie almost smile.

"Yeah, you're fun, and you want to spend time with me. I like when you play with me, or we watch cartoons together. And you make my Mom happy." Eddie finally smiled.

He knows he makes you happy, you tell him enough. But having a child notice just makes him feel all the more appreciated for his efforts.

"I'm trying to do good by you and your Mom." He knows what it's like to not have a father. Even if this kid technically isn't his son yet, he'd be damned if he didn't treat him like he was.

"You're both very important to me and some day I hope to be your Dad. You're a good kid, and I'd be proud to be your old man."

"You can't be my Dad right now?" Eddie tenses up, knowing it really isn't exactly that simple.

"It's not that easy. Plus, that would be a question only your Mother could answer."

"What question?" Both of their attentions turned to the hall doorway. There you stood, half asleep and confused with a coffee cup in your hands.

"Can Eddie be my Dad?"

Your eyes go wide staring at your son in disbelief. You knew he adored Eddie since you two started dating a little over a year ago. Introducing them to each other and becoming inseparable almost immediately.

It was obvious that your boyfriend would make a fantastic dad for your son, but you still didn't want to rush things with him and risk scaring him away.

"Oliver, honey. It's not that simple. From a legal standpoint..." Your lips draw to a line as Ollie stares at you, still innocent as ever. Glancing at Eddie, he just smirks. All the cocky son of a bitch can do is egg on the question.

"I think he really wants you to answer the question babe." Glaring at him, you think of exactly what to say, getting the idea to turn this around on him.

"For him to be your Dad, we'd have to get married. And that would mean Eddie would have to ask me to marry him." Ollie looks back at Eddie as the Metal heads face drops.

"Would you marry my Mom?"

"In a heartbeat." He answers, chocolate brown eyes locking on you.

Ollie looks back and forth between you two, little curls bouncing on his head as it bobs back and forth. His attention quickly turns towards the TV, hearing the turtles talking and remembering he was watching cartoons.

Eddie looks up at you, shrugging and patting his lap as he moves the cereal bowl off his lap and onto the side table next to him.

"C'mere sweetheart." Walking over, he takes your coffee and sets it down right before you sit across his lap. Tattooed arms wrap around your calves and waist.

"I'm sorry if he blindsided you. He's just been asking me about Billy a lot lately and... I guess since he started preschool he just sees other kids with their parents." His grip tightens on you, your head going to his shoulder as he chuckles.

"It's fine babe. I'm just a little surprised. I knew he liked me just not this much." You scoff, his head turning towards you. A soft smile on his lips as he admires your face.

"He's nuts about you, Eddie."

"Gets it from his Mom." You laugh, tapping him on his chest, sliding it up his collarbone and behind his neck past his mountain of messy curls.

"And I don't need some stupid papers to call him my kid. If he wants me to be his Dad, I'm his Dad... I'm just a little on edge about the whole thing, being a good role model."

"You already are. I don't see him causing issues or breaking any laws." Eddie grins, knowing what you mean, but that same sinking feeling won't go away.

"He's 4. I think the most I've seen him fuss about was going to bed at 8. I guess I just don't want to be like my old man, swore I'd never be like him."

"You aren't your father, Ed. Far from it. You love Ollie and treat him like pure gold compared to what you've told me about how you were treated. I'd be happy for you to be his Dad when the time comes."

Eddie beams, his chest going warm with love and endearment. You lean in to kiss him on the lips sweetly. Returning the kiss, he pulls you closer to his body. Almost like he's trying to become one with you.

"You think the Town Hall's closed because of the snow storm?" He asks, pulling away from the kiss.

"Maybe?" You look at him inquisitively, trying to figure out what he's thinking. "Why?"

Eddie moves his arm from around your calves, pulling off one of his many rings and looks at you.

"I know it's just a piece of paper, but I really do want to marry you. So, why don't we go down to the courthouse first chance we get an make it official. Make you Mrs. Munson. Would you like that?" Holding up the ring, he gestures it towards you.

You stare in shock, knowing your answer as you take the ring and slide it on your finger. The black band was way too big for your digits, but you didn't care. A rush of warmth washes over you, making your cheeks burn and your smile brighter.

"I'd like that."

[copperbadge]

Amateur Translation Programs

So I had a lot of imaginative and informative responses to my post about looking for an amateur translation program -- something where I could load in a foreign language and it would insert a box where I could add a translation every-other-line. The idea was that this way I could practice translation with more advanced texts, and texts I chose, and thus move away from Duolingo, which at this point is good for drilling and daily practice but not for more advanced learning.

I didn't find precisely what was needed but I did get some inspiration for further explanation, and I also learned that adding the term "glossing" (thank you @thewalrus-said) into my searches helped a great deal in terms of weeding out programs that were either "Let this AI translate for you" or just endless promotional links for Babbel and Duolingo and such. I thought I'd collect up the suggestions and post them here; at the end I'm including my best swing at designing what I wanted, and why it doesn't work yet.

Suggestion one, from many people, was various ways to generate a page that is simply fixed Italian text with space underneath each line to add in a translation. This is pretty simple as a process and there are sites that will do it for you, such as this one that @ame-kage suggested. However, most of these don't allow for movement in the Italian text, and many produce a PDF which you would need to print out in order to write on unless you're willing to open it in Acrobat (and deal with Acrobat). A good solution for some but not what I'm looking for purely because I'm trying to make this super frictionless so that (knowing myself as I do) I will actually do it.

I did find this version interesting, suggested by @drivemetogeek: Have one word doc saved as your "template" doc and set the line spacing as 2.0 or higher. Select your text from source and paste it into the template doc as text-only. Ctrl a, ctrl c to select all and copy, then open a new document and "paste special" as picture. Right click and set the "wrap text" as behind text. Now you have a document where you can, basically, type over the existing text because it's the background of the page. This seems like the most frictionless version, because you could set up a bunch of them ahead of time. If you wanted to move between desktop and mobile, however, you'd need to ensure that the pasted image was fairly narrow so that you don't have to sideways-scroll.

Relatedly, people suggested generating a document that is simply the Italian text with empty space beneath it for typing in of the translation. This can be done either semi-automated, using a macro or a language like Python, or find-and-replace on, say, the stops at the ends of sentences. It basically outputs the same as above but with a more digitally accessible format, without any more effort than above. If you were to do this in Google Sheets you could also fix the column width so that it didn't do anything weird when you opened it on your phone. But it is still very friction-y, and does not allow for easy shifting of the Italian as needed. There's high probability of the translation breaking weirdly across the page. Still a top option in terms of simplicity and access.

@smokeandholograms suggested another variation illustrated here where essentially you're converting the text to a series of tables, with each paragraph a row, and an empty cell next to it for the translation. I might play around more with this one eventually, since I think I could possibly make it a three-column and put the Italian in one, the translation in the next, and the auto-translate to let me know where I might be slipping in the third. (Not that I trust auto-translate but comparing a hand translation to an auto translation can be useful in terms of working out when I've messed up the way a tense or mood is read. I tend to read indirect verbs as automatically imperative because I'm a weirdo.)

@wynjara linked to an add-in for Word specifically designed for translators, known as TransTools; this appears to employ a macro to do the same thing, though it does have a format where you can place the translation next to each sentence directly rather than in a separate cell. The full suite of tools is only $45 which is reasonable for my budget, but for what I need I think I could also just create the macro.

Using LaTeX as a tool specially designed for glossing was an option on offer, but I don't know enough about LaTeX to figure out the pros of this one, which is in itself the major con -- there's a learning curve that I think varies widely by person but for me is unfortunately a wall. It came out of a discussion on Reddit about trying to find something like what I want; also in that discussion is a link to a code generator that allows you to…do something…to the initial language, but it's not entirely clear to me (I'm sure it's clear to people who understand coding) what you would then do with it that would allow it to be output in the way I'm hoping for. Like, I could turn a paragraph of text into HTML, I understand that far, but any Italian I find is already on a website.

Moving more into apps that might work, Redditors on the LaTeX discussion suggested SIL Fieldworks, which is a professional language tech tool. Fieldworks isn't a program I'd previously encountered but much as with the ones I had, it looks like the learning curve is fairly steep and it is definitely overkill generally for what I need, though it might also harbor within it the thing I want. It is free, so I may download and play around with it.

@brightwanderer suggested using note-taking or "whiteboard" apps such as Freeform or Nebo; these are generally a kind of "infinite canvas" in which you can drop objects, text boxes, or handwriting. I don't know that Freeform would be measurably different to just using Word and a macro, since I'd still have to input/format all the text and then be stuck with the same "fixed text" setup -- and it's also iOS only -- but for some folks it might be more helpful. Nebo is a similar infinite-canvas with unfortunately the same issues, though on the plus it's available for Android, which is where most of my mobile property resides.

@bloodbright suggested that I was looking for a CAT tool, a professional translation tool mainly used by translators working in the field. This was a concept I'd encountered, but I hadn't found a good starting place. They suggested Smartcat and OmegaT. Smartcat bills itself as an AI translation platform and is HARD pushing the "don't translate it yourself, hire a translator or let AI do it" angle, so it's difficult to tell what it offers in terms of actual tools for translators, and it's also cagey about pricing, so I can't really evaluate it. OmegaT is free and gives off big "some weirdo homebrewed this in their basement" vibe (which I am here for) but I also recognized it from screengrabs that were the reason I veered away from professional-grade software: it looked too complex. Realistically, the major downside of OmegaT is that I don't think I can put it on my phone. One thing I did find interesting is that once you translate a portion of the text, the original language goes away, though I assume you can turn that off if needed. I do kind of like that because it means my distractable brain is looking at Less Stuff.

So where did I end up?

Well, it looked like I was going to have to try a homebrew myself. I had the idea of trying some of the initial suggestions but in reverse -- designing a document where every other line was a single-cell table fixed to the page. You could paste in the Italian, which would wrap around the cells, and then enter the English in the cells.

You can fix a table in place in Google Docs -- you click on the table, then under Table > Style select Wrap Text, Both Sides, and Fix On Page. Getting the whole page set up is a little labor intensive but once you did that, you could just save it as a template and make a duplicate of it each time. And this actually works….on desktop.

Unfortunately, if you open it in the mobile Docs app, the app can't handle the fixed tables and automatically moves them all to after the text that's been pasted in. I tried redesigning it so that it's a table within a table -- one for the Italian, then within that a series of them for the English -- but when you nest a table in Google Docs, it doesn't let you fix the second table in place. And you are also still dealing with the wrap issue, although you can resize the page and add a large right-hand margin as a kludge of a fix for that.

You can build this same kind of document in Word, so I tried building one in Word and then uploading it to Drive, but when you open the Word file in Docs (or in Microsoft Word for Android), it still strips the fixed positioning -- there's just some functionality missing from both apps that doesn't allow them to handle fixed-position tables.

So, the design is sound, just not the final execution. If I could program an app, I could probably remedy the issues with it -- it's simply a series of text boxes nested inside one another with different formatting. I would imagine that's relatively basic to set up, although given that neither Docs nor Word can handle fixed tables in mobile, perhaps I've stumbled on a much bigger problem that everyone is ignoring because nobody actually needs or wants fixed tables in mobile. :D

Experimentation is ongoing, anyway. I might simply have to resign myself to the fact that my translation study is going to have to be in front of a computer, which might be for the best anyway when I inevitably want to compare my translation to an auto-translate to see where I might have read something wrong.

[howi99]

Jaune is a Genuis Au: How about what happened to Penny,Lewis,Alyx and the Cat?

Follow up to this post. Also, disclaimer: the cat has a different way of subjugating people in this AU and is a bit more powerful.

Ruby: *looking at Penny, who only seem asleep in her lifepod* What... Happened? To both of you?

Roman: *sitting in a chair* What red said, me and Neo been waiting forever to know the whole story- *Neo kick his leg* gaoutch! Why!?

Neo: "Don't be an ass"

The Puppeteer: ... *Sigh while sitting down* I am the sole reason for the state she's in.

Weiss: Impossible! You'd never hurt her, even if your life depends on it!

The Puppeteer: *looking down* I wish you'd be right Weiss... *Shakily breath* But i had no other choice.

Yang: *eyes turning red* You are saying you almost killed Penny!? What did she do to deserve this!!!

Marie: *Putting herself between Jaune and team RWBY*

The Puppeteer: *sad chuckle* She was at the worst place at the worst time. They say curiosity killed the cat? What a joke, the cat killed curiosity, kindness and any hope to get out of here.

???: Oh but Jaune~ She chose to voluntarily be my host. Remember? A live for a live?

RWBY+RN: *looking around, wandering where the voice is coming from*

The Cat: *taking form from Jaune's shadow, chained by Jaune aura* I'm here! *Chuckle* I present myself: i am the Curious Cat, pleased to meet the second team i saw most in my jailers dream~

Marie: *looking furiously at the cat, trying to kick without any luck since the cat is intangible*

The Cat: Ah~ i see you are still angry about your mom and sister? What a shame, you can't hurt me as long as i am jailed~

Ruby: *shacking angrily* I assume this is the real culprit of hee condition?

The Puppeteer: He is. But i still was the one to hurt her...

P: *looking at Jaune, seeing that he's having difficulty bringing how Penny almost died* I can explain to them the story if you-

The Puppeteer: No, i... I should be the one to explain. *Looking at team RWBY+ RN* It happened 10 years ago...

______________

Jaune: Alyx, Where are you? *Shacking his head* Gods be damned, where the hell is she?

Alyx: *from afar* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Jaune: *turning to the direction of the scream* ALYX!? *Sprinting in her direction*

// I thought i got rid of all danger from the forest, but i was wrong...//

Alyx: *trying to run away from the danger, seeing Jaune* JAUNE! HELP! T-THE CAT! HE- *she fall to the ground, her ankle twisted* Aw!

Jaune: *Running even faster to her* Alyx!

// I couldn't stop it, i was to far...//

Penny: *coming slowly from the forest, blue filaments making her move like a puppet* P-please... No... I don't want to hurt...

The cat: *whose magic is controlling her* If i can't break her to my will, she has no purpose.

.

.

.

Kill her.

__________

The Cat: *chuckling* It was a blast! Poor Alyx getting killed by the one she wanted to call her mother. *Hysterical laugh*

The Puppeteer: Silence! Remember the only reason i keep you alive is to give me more time! Don't make me reconsider even more.

Team RWBY: *looking horrified at the cat*

Roman: *disgusted* I have done many crimes in my life, some i regret from the bottom of my wretched soul. But that's.. that's...

Neo: "You killed her for your own pleasure?"

The cat: *chuckling* Pleasure? I did take some but it wasn't the objective. I needed to break her, to make her empty. And what better way than making her kill an innocent child?

Marie: *furiously trying to kill the cat, still unable to*

The Puppeteer: ... I couldn't save either of them... But i'll make it right, i'll bring them back even if it takes centuries.

Weiss: Is that why you keep the cat!? Jaune, she wouldn't want that! She-

The Puppeteer: *angry* You think i don't know that!? I don't care what she would want, she's basically dead! The kid i was supposed to protect has been buried by my own hands! I'm dot doing this for them, i'm doing this for me Weiss! Because if i can't even save a kid and my own wife...

.

.

.

What good am i?

[tecchoussuperlady]

Hello! I saw your request open so I came here! Hope you are doing good!

Can I request a Ranpo x Reader who is motherly towards him? He slowly would have a crush on her, like a Dom reader without NSFW! Thank you so much :')!

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹

EAT MY LOVE

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹

I was so excited to write this, thanks for the request ml!

I swear the more (far) you read it gets better.

Warnings: very slight violence (a slap on the face), allegory, cursing, very hidden SA (s/o being uncomfortable) -not by Ranpo!

1,776 words.

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹

Atsushi's tired legs lead him towards the well known building. He could get there even with blindfolded eyes. His daily worries changed a lot since his life took a 360° turn. But there is nothing he regrets now, even if he is risking his life daily, he's not scared. He got place where does he belongs to and feels happy.

He hurriedly opened the door and let his body fell on the older sofa. If it was any other day he would complain about it's uncomfortable and prostrate being. But this old sofa never felt as soft as today.

"Ahh finally back..."

In the background was echoing loud sounds of lady wearing heels going towards the floor. She sat on the couch next to the silver haired boy and patted his head, as exhausted as him.

"How was the mission?"

A boy with ginger hair asked the two.

"Terrible."

The young lady said with heavy accent.

"We had to be hidden in dirty bushes for hours. I can't even feel my feet anymore. And worse, the port mafia was trying to engage too. Oh man, i wish we could eat Tea on rice"

Atsutshi sighed at the memory of his latest mission.

"When we are talking about food, did you bring me the pastry from the new bakery?"

Ranpo barged into the conversation without second thought.

[Name] got up from the older sofa and waved with a paper bag in front of the detective's face.

"Oh, how amazing coworker I am. Aren't I?"

"Yea yea, now give it to me!"

Before Ranpo could snatch it from her hands she opened the bag and took out the wagashi.

"Open up!"

The detective opened his mouth without hesitation.

As her hand was moving closer and closer to his mouth she stopped for a second and then put the delicious pastry in her mouth.

"Uh? Hey!"

The detective started whining and pouting as if the world was about to collapse.

"Mmm so yummy, maybe if you were less greedy and more decent i would give you some!"

"You are such a meanie [name]! Give it to me!"

You ignored his whinning and your attention shifted to your Atsutshi.

"Atsutshi! Aren't you tired and hungry after such a long mission?"

When Ranpo realized that you are trying to give the candy to Atsutshi he started screaming even louder.

"How can you even-"

You quickly stuffed his mouth full with the wagashi and he happily started munching on it.

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹

"[Name]..."

"What is it?"

Your fingers were carefully going through Ranpo's hair and massaging his scalp.

"Wanna sleep over today?"

"Last time i did, I woke up with half of my hair covered in your droll..."

A/n: i once read that Ranpo would chew on his s/o hair in sleep and i can't get it out of my head

Ranpo turned his head away in embarrassment and his cheeks slightly flushed.

"I don't know what are you talking about, you probably saw it in your dream..."

"Of course."

You brushed it off trying to suspend your laugh so he wouldn't get more embarrassed.

"And anyways, I'm already taken on today's night. I'm going out."

"Out? Why would you go out at night?"

Ranpo turned his back to you opening his emerald eyes looking into your soul as an lost kid.

"I'm going on a date."

You said with unbothered tone.

"But why?"

"To find someone obviously-"

"But you have us already, why do you need someone else? You have me."

"Well..."

You weren't how much Ranpo was into this theme. He understands the point of dating even over his partly childish personality, right?"

"... It's for a different type of close person. Like-"

"I know what do you mean. I'm not dumb. I'm the smartest detective in the world after all! Just, I don't think you need someone else."

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹

Your date wasn't what you expected at all. He was too noisy and...

He doesn't know how to use chopsticks. Even with your attempts to make him change it for a fork he wasn't giving up and both of you were receiving weird looks. You were certain that you won't ever step foot into this restaurant again.

You weren't sure why you hate his loud self. You were decently used to it as co worker of Ranpo Edogawa and Dazai Osamu. So why did this guy's existence was annoying you? You weren't sure.

Him slurping noodles was one of the worst sounds you ever heard, but you were certain that Ranpo is ten times louder. And his loud giggles though Ranpo is sometimes so loud that the whole street has to close their windows.

And last but not least was him eyeing you shamelessly. Dazai did that at least once a day with some flirty note. And Ranpo would sometimes move his eyes to where they definitely shouldn't look. Though you never confront him about it. You don't even know by yourself why. It was just... a lot different?

"So, your top is really pretty..."

The man's eyes fell lower towards your chest.

"... do you usually wear such a clothing to work?"

You slowly looked up from your food at the man.

"Just shut the fuck up and eat your food."

You stuffed your mouth with the food and looked outside of the window annoyed, ignoring the confused expression on the man's face.

As you were thinking about how the two of you will pay for the food your phone started ringing.

The man looked up from his food and you picked up the call.

"Hello?"

"[Name]! We need your help urgently!"

"Huh, what is it?"

"Ranpo-san uhhh..."

"What is with him? Did he finally got diagnosed with diabetes or-"

"They took him! He was on his way to buy some snacks and they kidnapped him!"

Why was he even buying snacks at 9pm? Uh, nevermind. Did the agency got the location?"

"Yes, they did. I will send it to you, thanks! You are the best."

Atsushi hang up the phone and looked at his coworker.

"Ranpo-san... are you sure that this will work? I mean, [name] is not stupid and i don't really wanna get into problems with her."

"Just trust me! She will be too worried to realize it's fake, she cares about me after all, right?"

"I guess, but she will so mad when she will find out."

"Leave it on me! And now you can go back to your apartment to Kyouka. I will be okay."

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹

There was not a single athletic bone in your body, that's what you knew for years. But right now you felt like you were about to break an world record. If you came too late, this afternoon might be the last time you saw Ranpo alive.

Where are others?!

They can't be to far away or too busy when someone's life is in danger.

With one swift kick the door flew open and Ranpo was sitting calmly on a chair in the middle of the old dirty room from a past hospital which was left there abandoned.

"Hey! I thought that you will let me die here all alone. You were taking quite-"

Your hands quickly hugged him. Eyes getting glossy from fighting tears.

"Please don't cry, it's not even an real kidnapping!"

"What?"

"I personally hoped that your inteligence isn't so low to not realize it's fake. If i were really kidnapped Fukuzawa would definitely already be there in matter of seconds, no matter how busy he is. Or anyone else. Were you really that worried about me? Because-"

...

The sound of slap landing on that delicate skin echoed the room. And everything went silent.

"What are you-"

"You selfish idiot! You are really nothing but a dumb kid! Why on the earth would you such a stupid thing? Why?! What would you do if next time someone actually kidnapped you and i would assume it's your another stupid joke and you would die!"

"The detective's eyes widened and tears started spilling."

"Can't you once act like an decent human being? Do you think that this was that funny to play with your life?"

"I... I'm sorry, it wasn't supposed to be like this!"

The dark haired boy said in between sobs.

"Then why?"

"Because i don't want you to leave me! You keep going out on dates or with others, but eventually you will want to get married to them sooner or later and you will leave me and forget me."

You started at the crying boy with stunned face.

"Why do you think i would forget about you or get married? All men outside are jerks anyways."

Your hands softly caressed his hair and hugged him. He still couldn't stop crying.

"I'm sorry, don't leave me."

"How could i leave you? Who else would bring you your daily sweets and let you chew on their hair?"

"I'm serious, i love you."

You stopped caressing his hair and looked down at him.

"What?"

There was no response, just muffled sobbing. Ranpo... why did you even looked at him as kid all the time? He was an adult, older than you. How could you never notice.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded with his head still burried in your chest.

You gave him little kiss on his forehead and slowly started wiping his tears away.

"More than your favorite lollipops?"

Another nod.

You couldn't fight away the smile and gave him peck on his cheek and another on his other cheek.

"I feel honoured then."

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹

I promise, I will correct the grammar mistakes tomorrow in the morning.

⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹♡⊹ ࣪ ˖🍰₊˚⊹

[bleedingichorhearts]

So um... can you pretty please write some post-nails Angron? Or Post-nails worldeater, I'm not picky if you don't write for primarchs! It doesn't have to be NSFW or anything of course, but it can be if you want.

So many thanks, I need these sad, sad people.

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: Little anon, I shall indulge your need for these tragic men. However, I would love to do Post-Nails Angron if I didn’t feel like I about absolutely butcher his character and any other characters of WH30k-WH40k. Plus, I don’t know their lore much, but I got some books on the fandom I've been meaning to read. Suggestions on books will are welcomed since I’m practically new to this fandom. Maybe one of these days I will test my writing on a Primarch? But until then I’m going to use my World Eater Spartak for this one.

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.

𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗:

Маленький мир - Little world - (Russian)

TW // Yandere Themes, Fluff.

Taking Spartak to the Apothecary was no easy task for you. He didn't like moving from place to place very much, considering your many escapades with him. It gets him all grouchy and sometimes unreasonable when you want to bring him somewhere.

He just doesn't want to go anywhere. He is fine where he just is, basking in your presence once more. Nuzzling into your stomach with his beefy arms wrapped around you, inhaling your scent. Your small being relaxing the nails he had when they should be raging at him for continuously bloodshed, but they never pained him when you were around. You were like his personal Apothecary yourself. Cooling the butchers nails off of him.

He hums when you gently drag your fingers over his metal nails in his head, his head shifting from your stomach to look up at you with half lidded, golden eyes. Studying your rather tense looking features. Your eyes looking beyond the walls of his nest, eyebrows scrunched up to a degree. You were thinking deeply of something that was worrying you.

Had... had he done something wrong? Had someone else done something wrong to his Маленький мир? Why did she looks so stressed with him? He hasn't done anything to make her think so... worriedly. The nails in his head dig a little; he ignores it.

"My Маленький мир, what is wrong?" He lowly croons up to his bonded, snapping her out of her thoughts, her eyes glancing down at him then away from him. Her mouth opening and closing in hesitance to tell him her thoughts.

He huffs when he lifts himself up from your stomach, his scarred arms moving beside you. The dip in the couch he makes with his weight dragging you down underneath him, his arms keeping you there, underneath him on the Astarte's-sized couch as he casts a shadow over your from. His eyes never moving away from you as you continue to struggle to voice out your thoughts to him. Your body shuffling a little back from him.

His nails dig at him again, his eyes narrowing. Were these thoughts about him? Someone else? You don't seem too keen on tell him so, unlike when he wants to pry something out of you.

"Маленький мир, please, tell me what is wrong." He asks nicely, gently putting his hand underneath her chin and tilting it up to him. Making her pretty little eyes filled with worry look up at him. "Do not avoid me."

"I-I'm not." She stutters at him, his eyebrow lifting up in questioning. She always had something up her sleeve to avoid him with. So what was she thinking of then? Unless she was lying to him, but her tounge speaks truth. He knows it. So, what was she hesitant to him about?

“What makes you hesitate, my Маленький мир.” He asks, his head coming forward to press against her forehead, calming his prickling nails. Khorne, he doesn’t know what he’ll do without her graceful touch.

“I’m… afraid you won’t like what I have to say.” She admits, a tone of worry lacing her words. The light scent of her fear becoming known to him.

He immediately nuzzles against her head, purring and cooing at his Маленький мир. Shifting his body where he curls over his little bonded, engulfing her with his body. His nose nuzzling in the crook of her neck. An awkward position for him, but his instinct to destroy that sliver of fear she has with him coming it fast and strong. His Маленький мир should not be afraid him. It’s not what he wants. He’s supposed to protect you. Not have you fear him.

“Khorne, Маленький мир.” He starts, his Russian accent coming out. “If I didn’t want to hear your pretty voice every day, I wouldn’t have pursued you.”

“I wouldn’t have brought you back to my nest.” He rumbles, kissing the side of her neck before pulling back to press their foreheads together, quietly purring. “Я бы не любил тебя, маленький мир.(I wouldn’t love you, little world.)”

“I… was just wondering if you were up for the nail removal.” She reveals her worry’s. Her hands coming up to drag her fingers around one of many scars on his arm. Nervous for his reaction.

“The butchers nails?” He questions, leaning back up as she winces beneath him, giving him a singular nod to him.

He hums, he has heard of this… removal or surgery before by other wandering World Eaters or Apothecaries mentioning it to him. Saying how it would give them much relief, even out in battle. Saying, without the pain of the nails it gaves them a much better thinking process, to strategize their opponents next move. Something he considers sometimes with his Маленький мир.

How is he to know he’ll return back to his Маленький мир if the pain of the nails suffocate him? How is he to know the next move of his opponent if all he could think about was pain? He knows that part of him scares his little bonded. Perhaps, it would be better if he agrees with this offer? His Маленький мир would be able to trace his head correctly then.

Khorne, but with the nails he provides much more strength with the pain edging him on to behead his enemies. To leave their blood staining the ground from where he would battle, but that scares his little Маленький мир. He knows it.

“I don’t think I would mind.” He speaks after a moment of thinking. If he did have them removed it doesn’t change much of him drastically. He would still fight for his Маленький мир for every ounce of blood left in him. A Blood Angel would have to drink him dry if he were to fall.

“You wouldn’t?” His Маленький мир looks up at him questionably. Shuffling back up on the couch to finally look at him properly; not avoiding him.

“No. I wouldn’t.” He confirms again to his little bonded. Watching how she perks up a little. His Маленький мир clearly liking his choice of words.

“Are you willing to go through it?” She questions him, still unsure with his answer and it put a small grin on his face. Such a worrying little thing.

“For you.” He responds, leaning back down to nuzzle into her neck, softly inhaling her relaxed scent. No more laced fear in it as she wraps her arms around his neck. “I am willing, for you.”

His Маленький мир nuzzles into his neck this time, making him softly trill out to her and kiss her soft cheek. His arms wrapping around her small figure and engulfing her once more with his body.

-

The surgery was hard and time consuming for the Apothecary’s to make sure his appointment was a success. His big frame having the affects of trying to remove a needle from the hay stack with the smaller nails in his brain, but with much patience and masters of the Apothecary. The surgery was a proud success.

Spartak almost eagerly awaits for his discharge from the apothecary. Wanting to return to his little bonded as soon as possible. Having done this without her knowledge, but the thought clearly made her feel more at ease with the nails gone. Cuddling with him and making no attempt to escape him, not like she could.

Once the Apothecary deems Spartak healed a ready to wander off to wherever he likes. He doesn’t hesitate to leave the base like he had a mission on mind. Never once hesitating in his tracks to go back to his nest where his Маленький мир should be.

Though, he can feel this spoken relief of the removal of what the nails did to him. It never yelled back at him or pushed him to do things he might regret later… It made him feel like his much younger self, before he had the nails before the Horus Heresy began. Before he was even a battle-brother. A sudden feeling made his gut drop and rise.

He… he needs his little bonded, his Маленький мир right now. He needs her comfort. Her scent to wrap around him as he nuzzles into her plush skin.

[ladysroom-zaza]

Imagine clueless reader redeeming a gift card for a “deep tissue” massage by masseuse!chaewon and chaewon insisting on helping reader get rid of “all the tension in her body - especially the lower half of her body” 👀

You don't call yourself lucky, but sometimes life seems to smile at you. An example of that is the day when having a nice walk in a park, you found a coupon for a free deep tissue massage in a clinic not far from where you were.

Given that you were bored and the coupon seemed still valid, you decided to give a try. So, ten minutes after, you arrived at the place; it was cozy yet elegant, and furthermore the receptionist was really pretty.

She had a blonde bob as haircut and she was so polite. "Ah, you have found one of our lucky coupon. We made just few of them. Please follow me to the massage room", she said and brought you to a dressing room to change your clothes.

Once you got naked and covered yourself just with a white towel, you went laying on your tummy on the massage table. Few moments later Chaewon entered in the room, and also her outfit was different: she was barefoot, wearing grey leggings and a white tank top. She had no bra on, you noticed that because her white top was really tight.

She seemed to had the double role of receptionist and masseuse. In fact, right after putting some oil on her hands, she began the massage from your shoulders. "Oh my, you're so stiff, you really need a bit of relax, sweetheart", she commented, while her hands were doing their magic.

You immediately melted under her warm and smooth touch, she clearly knew what she was doing. From the shoulders she moved down to your bare back. "Aigoo, you must be so stressed, maybe I should give you my special treatment", she suggested, while pleasuring you with her touch.

"Special treatment?", you asked, facing down. "Well, yes, it's a type of massage I reserve just to few clients. Do you trust me on that?", she proposed, her voice was sweet like honey. Too drunk on her touch, you just nodded.

She smirked and and crawled back, starting to massage your feet and moving super quickly till reaching your thighs. Her touch was firm, but it was feeling so good. You didn't know if squeezing thighs was a real technique, but honestly it didn't matter in that moment.

It also didn't matter when Chae removed your towel, admiring with a grin your booty, before groping your cheeks. "Don't worry about anything, sweetheart, I'm gonna treat you real good now", she said seductively, before spreading your cheeks and caressing your hole with her tongue.

A moan escaped from your mouth, followed by your panting breath. "Good girl, let me do my job", she praised you, while her tongue was moving non-stop inside you, literally eating your asshole out.

Being a good masseuse, also her hands didn't stop moving, with her fingers going to tease your other hole. "Aww, so wet for me", she commented, while rubbing against your folds, without forgetting about your clit.

Her tongue and fingers movements seemed to be inversely related: when her tongue was moving fast, her fingers seemed to slow down and viceversa. It was such a good way to not let you catch you a breath.

"Don't worry, darling, the treatment gonna reach soon...its climax", she warned you, chuckling. Your breath was short and your mind completely lost in pleasure. You could tell something was about to come out.

"Miss C-Chae, I-I'm...", you tried to talk, but you just were able to moan more. "Yes, sweetie, let yourself go, reach your reward for being a good girl", she encouraged you.

She gave you the last push adding a third fingers inside your pussy and gaining speed in her arm movement. You could only roll your eyes back to your skull, while squirting all over Chaewon hands.

"Mmm, delicious", she said, tasting her own fingers covered with your juices. "My treatment never fails, I hope you can become a regular customer here", she told you, giving a last squeeze to your booty cheeks, before leaving the room.