#i don't normally do character playlists but here i had the playlist before the characters

[pyro-madder]

how my laika storyarc happened is that i wanted to grill that twink the way i grilled enzan but the lack of canon evidence of Being Deeply Unwell required me to take a blender and throw in no paticular order : two games involving fire trauma, the protomen's act II, my emo pink floyd music and then some

[myeagleexpert]

Yan!Batfamily x Singer!YN (neglected)

Inspired by @@gotham-daydreams's fic, your work is wonderful and makes me think about many things…. One of the things I think about is if they found Reader from her music…. Reader here is heavily inspired by Naomi Jon, she is an independent singer from Germany, she regularly makes videos on youtube about makeup, shopping on websites, tiktok foods, things like that. She is a very fun person to watch and I highly recommend you watch it, all her videos are in English. (one detail is that she doesn’t talk much about her family, and lives with her friend Vincent and boyyy every time I read about Reader from Not [ ] fics I remember her. If you disagree, that’s okay, I still like the idea of ​​YN’s glow up <3) “Have you seen, come and read my diary Then you will see, that you don’t mean shit to me” – MANTRA- Naomi Jon

I imagine that while shopping at a store, Steph liked the store’s playlist and went to look for who was singing it.

Imagine her face when she finds out that the person she was listening to… was the YN everyone was looking for. She immediately discovers her YouTube channel, social media… and everyone immediately starts binge-watching and stalking all of her videos

Dick would be the type of person who would learn the choreography for your music videos, just to dance with you. He swears he can be the fun older brother you need, he can be in your videos too! And cook! I don't think he wears makeup, but he would watch all your makeup videos because he likes your reviews, and when you make a joke or mix up the language in the video he finds it so funny that he can't help but laugh. He wants to test out the latest skincare products with you and wants to travel together! You look so different now, with bold eyeliner and colorful hair, Dick wonders if you've always been like this and he was just blind because he didn't see it. Come on, he didn't know you had this fun and easygoing side, let's spend more time together, okay?

“This dress deserves… THE BUSINESS WALK!”

Jason sees how you've grown, and how much better you are away from Gotham. Like a flower that blooms only when it's in a clean and suitable environment, you've brilliantly transformed into who you are. But a part of him, the biggest part, thinks you'd be much safer around your family, where they can protect you. You sing and post so many videos on the internet, what if someone comes after you? Let your brother stay close, okay? And who is this friend who lives with you anyway? He is not trustworthy - no. It doesn't matter if you've known him since you were kids and have lived together for a long time. Another thing I bet he would do is join you on the days when you dye your hair in the craziest ways possible, he has some experience with dye, you know?

“C’mon FriendReader, this is the plan for this hair dyeing technique. Yes, all seven colors are here!”

For those who neglected Reader and pretended you didn't exist, he is your #01 Fan now. Tim definitely listens to ALL your music, and is 100% connected to your social networks. He watches and rewatches all your videos, they are so interactive and relaxed that he has the illusion that he is living it all with you. He's the type of person who eats while watching your videos, and watches them before bed, and when he's having a particularly stressful situation he'll lock himself in his room and watch one of your vlogs, because your voice has such a calming effect of normality that for him, it's like at any moment you'll open his door asking to try a 2-ingredient recipe you saw on TikTok.

“Timothyyy~ try this recipe I saw on tik tok!”

Damian is an interesting case… because he discovered that his precious blood brother has a side to him that he never saw. When he walked into your room and looked at all your memories, all your pictures of your achievements, all your music sketches he KNEW you were talented, but when he saw you in action in your videos and shows it was like a cartoon character came to life. YOU came to life! Definitely buy all your merch, and talk about you all the time to John. Do you still have two cats?? Enough, the kidnapping is you and them two.

“My next show will be…”

Bruce goes back and rereads your journal drafts and realizes how much your music has really changed, your focus now being only on your fans and not your family. Like everyone else in the family, he watches your videos daily and keeps thinking “I could give her a bigger box of surprises so she can record a video” “Did she think that dress was pretty? I could buy her a better one, shinier and pinker, just like she wanted.” When you post a video of the backstage of a show and all your lively preparations, he can’t help but feel guilty for the thousandth time that day. He should be by your side right now, a father should be behind the scenes giving you comfort and strength to go on the show. He should be in the front row cheering when you realized your dream of going on stage for the first time. The whole family should… You’re trying so hard, your dedication is palpable in your videos and shows. The little girl grew up and became a dreamy woman, but who do you run to when you need to cry? Let him be your comforting shoulder now, let him come into your life again.

“I made this song especially for you, my fans!”

When Alfred put that video of YN’s childhood on TV, where she performed in a school play, to remind everyone of her absence, he couldn’t be more proud of his work when weeks later he hears her voice coming from one of the boys’ rooms. It's you singing one of the songs, the batboy repeating it for the tenth time. Your voice has changed, from a childish and angelic voice to a woman's, your looks have gradually gained confidence and personality, but your “presence” in the mansion is ghostly. He feels so happy for you, you are externalizing to the world what he has always seen: that you are incredible. Alfred doesn't need to marathon your videos to feel closer to you, he already has affectionate memories, he already has albums from when you were a baby and tested recipes with him, he already has videos of you training to sing when you were little… But he still watches your videos because unfortunately, even with him you lost contact. He watches the videos like a grandfather watches his grandson's stories “Oh? Are you in Tokyo now? How wonderful, dear, remember the coat.” “Oh dear YN, I don't think this recipe will be good for you…” “Yn, be careful with the scams on these strange websites!”

“Guys, I know what you’re thinking… BUT maybe combining onion and chocolate CAN work.”

[kookslastbutton]

Guilty Pleasures ༓ jjk, kth (m) | chapter iv

✑ Summary: Three years of being Seoul's power couple earns you nothing but a big fat divorce settlement and your face plaster on every gossip column around town. You're angry, hurt, and desperately want to move on, but worst of all? You're still in love with the man who started the whole mess, even though the most he can ever see you as is a friend. The renowned actor you've hired to be your company's new endorser seems to have a soft spot for you though. He's easy on the eyes, you'll admit, but who actually wants a divorcee like yourself? It's unrealistic really.

pairing: ex-husband ceo!jungkook x ceo!reader, actor!taehyung x ceo!reader (not poly)

genre/AU: angst, smut, fluff, loverstoexesto ?, coworkers2?, unrequited love

Word count: 11.3k

Warnings: oc and jk are both 30, Taehyung is 32, swearing, tornado of emotions (you might laugh, you might cry, and you might just wanna punch something after this chapter), morally grey characters, mentions of toxic relationships, mentions of broken home/families, mentions of therapy, struggles of self-blame, regret, guilt, denial, self-deprecation in some aspect, etc., mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of sexism in the media and business world

playlist: Unkiss Me, Apologize, Hate That I Love You, etc.

a/n: So, elephant in the room....how did this get past 11k when other chapters are significantly shorter? Well...I had ideas? I'm sorry!! 🫠 ANYWAY more angst in this chapter. Sorry not sorry for what you will consume here. I honestly love this chapter so much though! Okay, I won't say any more bc spoilers are cool but not in my fic! (hehe) Enjoy! 🥰

series masterlist | next >>

Numb.

It’s the only word you can rummage up to describe the sudden shift in your demeanor. You’d think one’s typical response to their ex-husband’s drunken confession would be one of confusion, anger, hurt, or the like.

But you’ve gone stone cold instead, barely able to feel the steaming hot water that kisses your skin from within the tub. The room seems to have become a bit of a haze too, your vision blurring as you grip your cell phone in your hand.

The absurdity of it all—the man who handed you divorce papers now professing his love—feels like a cruel joke. The sheer impossibility of the situation is almost laughable, yet you can't even bring yourself to do that at this point. You've exhausted all of your emotional resources.

You’re unsure how many seconds pass before his voice calls your name again.

“__? Are you still there?” His voice is a muffled echo in your mind. It sounds so far away, though you know he’s right here on the other end of the line.

"Honestly Jungkook…I don’t know what you expect me to say.”  The words come out slow, measured, and almost emotionless.

There's a pause, and when he speaks again, his voice is hoarse, cracking under the weight of his confession. "I guess—I'm not sure either. But I just needed you to know. I needed to tell you everything."

“You're drunk. You realize that, right?"

“I had a few beers, yeah," he admits. "Maybe I'm a little tipsy. But it doesn’t change the fact that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately. I miss you, __, a lot."

The words hang in the air, and for a moment, you’re back in the past, back when those words would have meant the world to you. But now, they feel hollow, devoid of the warmth they once carried. And how can they not? You tethered yourself to your ex-husband for three years, learned his patterns, became acquainted with his needs, and danced with his indifference. In the end, the result is always the same, and this time is no different. By morning, he'll likely forget everything he's ever said to you and return to his normal habits.

You take a deep breath, your head resting on the cool porcelain tub, and close your eyes. "I can’t do this," you say quietly. "Not now."

"It's late. I understand-"

"No," you interrupt, voice firmer, "you don't understand, Jungkook. You don't understand me and you never have. I'm hanging up now."

"Please don't. I know I've hurt-"

"Stop. Do you know how patronizing that sounds to me? Please don't call this number again."

"But... I love you, __," his voice is barely a whisper. "Do you not love me anymore?"

"Goodbye, Jungkook." You end the call before another word can drop from his lips, or yours for that matter. It's time you accept that you are never more than an impulsive decision, a temporary solution, and an item on his agenda. Tonight's conversation solidifies that for you.

Despite being sleep-deprived the next morning, you refuse to let fatigue keep you from fulfilling your promise to visit Taehyung at the hospital. You've been anxious about him all night, tossing and turning without respite. The weight of your ex-husband's drunken confession added to your restlessness as well. Nevertheless, you push it out of your mind as you bound out the front door.

Upon arrival, you are greeted by an abundance of flowers, cards, and thoughtful gifts scattered around Taehyung’s hospital room. One bouquet on the windowsill catches your attention in particular—its familiar scent of lavender is instantly recognizable.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” a voice says from behind you. You turn to see Dr. Min entering the room, Taehyung’s chart in hand. He seems more lively than last night, his expression noticeably brighter with a faint smile on his lips.

“Yes, they’re lovely,” you reply. “I’m guessing these are from Taehyung’s fans and colleagues?”

He nods. “Indeed. Lavender is a calming scent. It’s no wonder people chose it for him.” The corners of his mouth lift slightly before he continues, “My girlfriend loves it too. She says it helps her relax after a long day.”

The comment is unexpected yet sweet. You notice the suppressed grin and the warmth in his eyes easily, signaling his deep affection for her. You wonder how it must feel to love someone so purely and without restraint. Before the thought lingers, your gaze shifts involuntarily to the man on the hospital bed, still asleep. Though the bandages are gone and his breathing is stable, your concern deepens as you take in his nearly still form.

“How’s he doing?” you ask, moving closer to his bed. Your heart tightens with each step as the cuts and burns on his face become more visible.

“He’s lucky,” Dr. Min says, walking to the opposite side of the bed, his tone growing serious. “He has multiple rib fractures, a mild concussion, and a few burns, but it could have been worse. Taehyung is stable now, and we’re monitoring his progress closely.”

“How long will it take for him to heal?”

“His face burns are only second-degree, so they should heal in a couple of weeks. The concussion should also resolve with ample rest and by avoiding strenuous activity—both physical and mental.”

“Which means he won’t be able to act for a while?” you ask, reading between the lines.

“Afraid not,” Dr. Min dismisses the idea. “Hopefully, his projects can accommodate his absence.”

“What about his rib fractures? I imagine those will require the most attention.” You feel like you might be asking too many questions, knowing Dr. Min will likely need to repeat everything to Taehyung later, but you can't hold back. After all, you made a promise to yourself last night that you'd ensure he'd be alright.

“Yes," Dr. Min answers carefully, "they could take up to three months to fully heal. We recommend applying ice for 20 minutes at a time, several times a day. As long as he remains stable over the next few days, he can be discharged to continue his recovery at home." He pauses, allowing you to process the information before continuing. "It's crucial that he rests. Even if he feels bursts of energy, he needs to let his body heal. Light activities like breathing exercises and short walks are fine, but he should avoid intense exercises until we give the all-clear.”

You nod thoughtfully, absorbing Dr. Min’s detailed prognosis. Taehyung’s condition sounds serious but manageable. After such a traumatic accident, it's clear he'll need months to heal. Getting him to adhere to the doctor's orders will be challenging, given his profession and active social calendar. However, if you need to be the one to remind him, you will.

“I’ll make sure he follows your recommendations,” you assure Dr. Min, your voice tinged with concern.

“I have no doubt,” Dr. Min replies with a reassuring smile. “You know, you're the first person who’s shown up for him both last night and today. Aside from that young man who came in briefly. Namjoon, right?”

“Yeah,” you respond slowly, the revelation catching you off guard. “He works as my secretary but he's also a good friend of Taehyung's. His family really hasn’t come in yet?” You circle back to Dr. Min's first point with a sense of urgency.

You wouldn't normally be this insistent on the matter; however, past conversations with Taehyung have revealed how much he cherishes his family, often sharing stories about their reunions with warmth and enthusiasm. With such a loving family, you’re taken aback that they haven’t shown up yet. Then again, his accident was sudden, and there could be various reasons for their delay. Do they even know about his accident, for that matter?

“They called, of course, but you’re the first to actually come in,” Dr. Min clarifies, his gaze thoughtful as he responds to your concern. "You must be quite an attentive boss to show this level of care for your colleague."

There's an underlying suggestiveness laced in his tone, but you're quick to brush it off, redirecting the focus to Taehyung’s condition. “It’s the least I can do, given what he’s going through,” you say, trying to sound matter-of-fact. “He’s a valuable member of our team, and I want to make sure he gets back on his feet as soon as possible.”

Dr. Min's eyes twinkle, as if holding back further commentary. “Even from a professional standpoint, not everyone would go to such lengths for a coworker. He’s fortunate to have you.”

You feel a slight flush as his subtle implications continue. “Well, I just…care about his well-being. Besides,” you glance back at Taehyung, your expression softening more than you intend, “I know he'd do the same for me.”

For a few short breaths, Dr. Min remains silent as your attention remains fixed on your colleague. “I need to check on a few other patients so I’ll leave you two alone for now," he finally says, breaking the silence. “I'll be back to check in on him again later, but if you have any questions or need anything in the meantime, the nurse is nearby."

With a nod and a soft "thank you," you watch Dr. Min exit the room, leaving you alone with Taehyung once more. After settling into a chair beside his bed, you silently observe the steady rise and fall of his chest. The rhythmic sound of his breathing is a small comfort amidst his vulnerable state. Despite everything, you're glad he's going to be okay.

As each minute passes, nurses come and go, and the hum of activity outside the room gradually fades into a background murmur. You had only planned to stay for an hour this morning, but time seems to slip away as the clock now nears 1 p.m. You had hoped Taehyung would be awake by now, but he remains still.

After a brief sigh, the thought occurs to you that you don't have to spend so many hours here, waiting for Taehyung to wake up. It's the weekend, and there are plenty of other things you could be doing instead. Dr. Min could easily call you the moment Taehyung wakes up. But something in your conscience urges you not to leave. Just give it another hour, you think. If he isn’t awake by then, you can come back tomorrow.

Suddenly, a slight movement catches your eye. Taehyung's fingers twitch, and his eyelids flutter. You nearly missed it with how lost you were in your thoughts.

Leaning forward with nervous relief, you softly call his name. It takes him a few seconds, but slowly, his eyes blink open. He turns his head slightly, gaze eventually finding yours, and you feel momentarily transfixed. It's unlike you to respond this way, but you had forgotten how piercing and comforting his eyes could be. A genuine smile immediately spreads across his face once your eyes meet, though not as boxy as usual due to his condition. Nevertheless, it's encouraging to see him awake and responsive.

“Hi," his voice is strained but recognizable. "It's...nice to see you."

“The feeling's mutual,” you respond gently. “How are you feeling?”

He shifts slightly, wincing a bit. “Like I got hit by a truck,” he mutters. “I’m sore all over.”

“You had a close call, but you’re in good hands now. Your doctor, Dr. Min, says you'll be okay, as long as you take it easy for a while. He was here earlier this morning, but he'll check in with you again soon.”

"You..." He hesitates, surprise flickering in his eyes. "You've been here since morning? What time is it now?"

"Oh, uh, it's around 1 in the afternoon," you say, gradually realizing the weight of your words. You consider whether or not to tell him the full extent of your stay. “I got here a few hours ago. Don’t worry.”

Taehyung nods slightly, a mix of gratitude and concern evident in his expression. “Thank you for being here,” he murmurs. “I wasn't sure if I'd be alone.”

A sinking feeling settles in your chest at his words, your throat tightening. Before you can ask what he means, he continues, “I must have taken a lot of your weekend from you.” His tone is apologetic, and your heart aches. Here he is, lying on a hospital bed, in pain and vulnerable, and he’s worried about inconveniencing you.

“I'm glad to be here,” you reassure gently. “I promise, you’re not alone. A lot of people care about you.”

Taehyung glances around, taking in the gifts and flowers scattered throughout the room. “From my fans, I’m guessing?” he asks, attempting to keep his tone light.

“And your colleagues too,” you reply. “We all want to see you get better." Taehyung returns his gaze to you, a faint smile lingering on his lips. Neither of you says anything, which unsettles you.

“Did you sleep okay?” you ask, the question coming out more hurriedly than intended.

“I drifted in and out for most of the night. It’s hard to get comfortable,” he admits, "I think I could still hear a lot around me. It felt like someone was holding my hand for a few minutes too, but I’m not sure how much of it was real or just dreams, though.”

Oh shit. You weren't expecting that answer.

The possibility that Taehyung might have heard you talking to him last night shouldn't be that embarrassing, yet your mind races with thoughts of what he might have heard or understood in his semi-conscious state. Not only did you share more than you probably should have, but you also touched his hand to feel his pulse, and he felt it.

“Well, um, I'm sorry to hear you had a rough night. You should rest more,” you suggest, trying to compose yourself. "I should get going anyway and let you sleep.” You begin standing from your seat but don't get far before the gentlest of touches brush against your wrist. When you look at Taehyung, he quickly retracts his fingers, concerned he overstepped.

"Shit, I'm sorry, __. I didn't mean to grab at you like that," he says softly. "It's just...would you mind staying with me a little longer, please? I'd really appreciate the company."

You can hear the yearning in his request. It's clear that he doesn't want to be alone, and you don't blame him, especially after the accident he's endured. Settling back into the chair, you agree to stay a bit longer, perhaps another half hour, before heading home; you realize you haven't eaten lunch yet.

"So, how are you doing?" he asks. "We haven't talked in bit."

His question triggers a flood of thoughts, the most recent interaction with your ex-husband being one of them. Up until now, you've managed to push his drunken call out of your mind, preferring to focus on Taehyung instead. However, Jungkook's unexpected confession still throws you for a loop. It's not that you're riddled with the need for clarity on its validity, especially since you don't believe him anyway. How could he claim to love you when he also admits he doesn't understand his own feelings? On top of that, being drunk while doing so—it doesn't make sense.

No, the real question now is what happens next. How do you proceed? Will he try to reach out again? The way he asked if you still loved him before you ended the call weighs on your mind even now.

You know you'll need to discuss this with Melody during your next therapy session.

Before you spiral further, you decide to steer the conversation away from personal matters and opt for a safer topic.

"The company is doing well," you reply with a smile. "The new campaigns we've put out recently have been pretty successful. Although," you add, a hint of curiosity in your tone, "the team has missed your frequent drop-ins, especially Namjoon." If you're honest with yourself, you've missed them too.

"How is he? Namjoon?"

"He's okay, but he's been concerned for you," you answer carefully. "When we heard the news, we came to see you together, but he was quite affected. He promised to visit once you woke up."

"So," Taehyung takes a moment to process. "That was this morning, right?"

"No, actually, it was yesterday."

There's a brief, awkward silence as you sense Taehyung might be thinking the same thing you are—about your presence last night. Surprisingly, he doesn't bring it up. Instead, he eyes you curiously, biting down on his lip slightly.

"I meant to stop by last week," he admits. "But we were wrapping up the final scenes of my film shoots. The producers were eager to finish them. I'm just thankful we got them done. I wanted to spend a day riding my bike along a scenic route until... well, until all of this happened. I don't remember much, but I'm just grateful Tan wasn't with me."

"Tan?" you ask, curious now.

"Yeontan, my pomeranian," Taehyung explains with a soft smile. "He means the world to me. My parents take care of him when I'm busy with filming. I was actually planning to drive up and visit them this weekend. And, of course, bring Tan back home with me. They live pretty far from here, so it's better that I go up to them if I can."

Well, that answers the question about his parents not being here yet, you think to yourself.

As Taehyung speaks, you can see a flicker of fondness and relief in his eyes when he mentions his dog. It must have been months since he last saw him.

"I bet you miss him a lot," you comment softly, "Tan."

"I do," he admits with a slight smile, "but I know he's being well taken care of. Hopefully, I can see him soon. And my parents too."

"I understand that feeling," you reply, nodding thoughtfully. "Pets have a way of becoming family, don't they? I had a cat named Evie when I was growing up. She was a feisty little thing with green eyes, always getting into mischief. We got her from the streets and she was so slim, but it didn't take her long to beef up with all the treats we gave her. Whenever I was feeling down, she would curl up next to me, as if she knew. It's funny how they have that kind of intuition, isn't it?"

Taehyung listens intently, a small smile playing on his lips. You feel a slight flush of embarrassment at your tangent. It's one of the few times you've shared something personal about yourself that wasn't work-related. Feeling like you might have overshared, you decide to stop, assuming Taehyung isn't interested in knowing that much.

You chuckle inwardly at yourself.

Jungkook was your husband for three years, and he never seemed to care about such personal details.

I—" you start, intending to apologize, but Taehyung interrupts.

"Did you have any other pets?" he asks, curiosity piqued.

You chuckle softly, reminiscing. "Yeah, we had... uh, god, you don't want to know how many pets we had."

"Try me," his eyes become playful, yet there's a seriousness behind them, like he really wants to know. It's unfamiliar.

"Alright," you chuckle, "aside from Evie, there were three other cats. Calvin and Misha were the adventurous ones, always climbing trees, while Pip was the cuddly lap cat. Then there were two dogs: Toby, our sneaky Chihuahua, and Bella, a terrier who growled at everyone. Oh, and we had three rabbits too. Cute, but also feisty."

Taehyung laughs, "I sense a theme going on."

"What theme?"

"Well," he grins, "It seems like your household was filled with some strong main characters."

You chuckle at his joke. "Yeah, our house was never quiet, that's for sure. Each one had their own personality and quirks."

"You don't have any now though? Pets, I mean," Taehyung asks.

"Sadly, I don't," you reply with a hint of regret. "The company takes up a lot of my time, and I don't think it would be right to leave a pet alone for extended periods. I might consider getting another cat, but right now, focusing on running the company leaves me with little spare time. I miss having them around though."

Taehyung mulls over your word carefully. “If I ever get out of this hospital...maybe I—”

Before he has the chance to finish, the hospital room door opens, and Dr. Min enters, his expression serious yet composed. His eyes widen slightly in surprise, not expecting to see you still here and Taehyung awake. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” he begins, glancing between you and his patient. “It’s good to see you up and looking a bit better."

Dr. Min approaches Taehyung's side, opposite to you. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

Taehyung's demeanor shifts instantly, his playful expression fading as he turns to answer. “Pretty sore, honestly,” he replies.

Dr. Min nods. “Let’s run a few checks to see how you’re doing.”

Sensing this is your cue to leave, you rise from your chair and reach out to touch Taehyung's hand. But you stop yourself short. Something about performing the physical action while he’s fully conscious instills a flutter of nerves within you. Instead, you gently tap his shoulder, causing him to meet your eyes. “I think I'll be going now, but it was nice talking to you,” you say softly. "Was there something you wanted to say earlier, though?"

He pauses for a moment before replying, his expression reminiscent of the time a few weeks ago when you declined his dinner invitation. You still don’t understand why he seemed somewhat disappointed; it's not like it was a date. He had made it clear he wanted to go out as colleagues. The only reason you declined was because you didn’t want him feeling pity for you, or the struggles that came with the divorce.

"It's okay, we'll have to save that conversation for another time," Taehyung's voice brings you back to the present. "Enjoy the rest of your day, __. Thanks again for staying with me."

"Of course," you reply, then turn to Dr. Min. "If you wouldn't mind letting me know when and if he can be discharged, I'd appreciate it. And Kim Namjoon too, since we're both nearby." Dr. Min nods in agreement. With that, you sling your bag over your shoulder and exit the room.

“He said what?!” Your best friend Jimin almost shouts through the video call, eyes wide with disbelief. You’ve just finished recounting your ex-husband's unexpected, drunken confession from the previous night. Jimin, who already holds a deep-seated grudge against Jungkook, looks livid.

“He had the nerve to say that to you? While he was drunk?” Jimin continues, his hands clenching into fists.

You nod, feeling a mixture of frustration and exhaustion. “Yeah, I told him not to call my number again and he hasn't contacted me since.” As expected, he likely forgot all about it.

“Good,” Jimin declares with a fierce protectiveness, his tone leaving no room for doubt. “You don’t need that kind of drama in your life, especially not from him. And if he even thinks about calling you again, just say the word, and I'll come down there and handle it personally.” He emphasizes 'personally' with such intensity that it makes you giggle for the first time tonight.

“Thanks, Jimin,” you say, a warm feeling spreading through you at his unwavering support. “I’m just trying to move on, focus on work, and other things.”

Jimin’s expression softens, and he nods firmly. “You're incredibly strong, __. Are you really okay though? It was a huge blow for him to make a confession like that and even though I dislike him, I know you still have some lingering feelings for him. I'm not a fool to believe you're unaffected.”

You take a deep breath, appreciating your best friend's perceptiveness. “It’s complicated. I’m trying so hard to move past everything, especially with Melody's help, and then he just…throws that at me. It’s like he’s trying to pull me back into his mess.”

Jimin’s eyes are filled with concern. “You don’t owe him anything. Remember that. He made his choices, and you have every right to move on without his baggage.”

“I know,” you sigh, rubbing your temples. “It’s just…easier said than done. But I’m working on it.”

“You’re doing great,” Jimin reassures, his voice gentle. “And you have every right to focus on yourself now. Don’t let him mess with your head.”

You nod, feeling a bit lighter with the support. “Thanks, I needed to hear that.”

“I'm always here for you love,” he says, his protective demeanor softening into a warm smile. “Now, enough about that idiot. How’s everything else? Work? Taehyung? Everyone at the office is talking about his unfortunate accident, poor sucker.”

At the mention of your colleague, you feel a sudden heat rise to your cheeks. Did the heaters in your apartment just turn up or something?

“He’s slowly recovering," you answer. "I saw him this morning and we talked for a bit. He’s... he’s been through a lot.”

Jimin raises an eyebrow, “You saw him yesterday too, right? And if my memory serves, you were at the hospital with him until the afternoon. I remember I texted you to see if you were free to call earlier than planned. Something you'd like to tell me?” A teasing grin suddenly spreads across his face, and you shake your head, knowing exactly what he's insinuating. It's like talking to Dr. Min all over again.

“Seriously, Chim, no, it's not like that," you deny instantly, heart racing a little. "He's been my company endorser for a little over six months now, and he’s been nothing but kind to me. With everything he’s been through, I just want to make sure he'll be okay. I feel somewhat responsible for him. Maybe I'm crazy.”

“Responsibility, huh?” Jimin smirks, unconvinced of your denial. “Sure. Because ‘responsibility’ usually makes people blush.”

You wave off his suspicions, a nervous chuckle escaping you. “I’m not, so if you wouldn't mind ceasing your teasing, that'd be great."

“Okay, okay,” Jimin chuckles, raising his hands in mock surrender. “But if you ask me, it sounds like more than just responsibility. Taehyung seems like a sweet guy, and you care about him. And I sense he feels the same way about you. Don't think I forgot about his little dinner request weeks back.”

You chuckle, brushing off his suspicions. “Oh, come on, enough. Believing that Kim Taehyung has any kind of interest in me is like believing that Jungkook loves me. It’s unfathomable. Taehyung's a colleague, that’s all.”

“Okay, excuse me? Unfathomable?” he scoffs, shaking his head. “Someone help! My best friend is selling themselves short, again. __, you’re amazing, and anyone, including Taehyung, would be lucky to have you. That ex-husband of yours was an idiot, but just because he couldn't see what he had doesn’t mean others can’t.”

You roll your eyes playfully, but Jimin’s words hit a soft spot. “Chim, you're sweet, but I'm just saying that Taehyung is on a completely different level. I’m just me... a 30-year-old divorcee with a half-decent startup.” Those alone are enough to have any man steer clear of you.

“Stop this, __. You're much more than that, and it's pretty damn incredible,” Jimin insists, his voice firm. “You’ve been through so much, and you’re still standing. That’s not something to brush off. Taehyung sees that. Anyone with half a brain can see that.”

You sigh, feeling a mixture of gratitude and skepticism. “I appreciate it, Chim. But let’s just drop it, please?”

“Alright, I won't push it," he concedes gently, "just know I’m here whenever you need.”

“Thanks, Jimin,” you reply, feeling a warmth in your heart. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Probably explode from all that bottled-up stress,” he jokes, making you laugh again. “But seriously, you’re doing great. Just keep taking it one step at a time, and call me if you need anything!”

As the call ends, you’re left with a lot to think about. Jimin’s words echo in your mind, and for a brief second, you find yourself wondering if maybe your best friend is right—that perhaps you do care about your colleague more than you’re willing to admit.

Well, either way, it doesn't matter; you've got enough on your plate as it is.

Starting with the stack of papers laid out on the coffee table, work you brought home that's awaiting your attention. It's a critical deal for your startup, one that could secure much-needed funding and propel your business to the next level.

Sighing softly, you reach for your laptop and open the latest project proposal.

You start your Sunday as you always do, with a book in hand, heading to your favorite café. It’s a ritual that’s been with you since your teenage years, and today, you feel a desperate need for its familiar comfort. After wrapping up the project proposal late into the night, your brain craved a break.

Entering the quaint café, you’re greeted by the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soft murmur of conversation. Finding a cozy spot by the large window, you settle in for a day of reading, occasionally looking up to observe people passing by outside.

Hours slip away unnoticed in the serene atmosphere, lost in the pages of your book. Somewhere along the way, mid-sentence, your thoughts subconsciously drift to a conversation with Taehyung weeks before his accident—the day of your six-month anniversary.

You remember how he mentioned his interest in books that day, leaving you curious about what he enjoys reading. You imagine he might be into classic authors like Charles Dickens or Oscar Wilde. Then again, you might be mistaken.

Refocusing on your book, you manage to read another paragraph before thoughts of Taehyung intrude again. Did he have any company today? You quietly hope Namjoon paid him a visit. "Okay, __, calm down," you tell yourself, "Taehyung will be fine, and Namjoon definitely would have visited him now that he's awake." With a determined effort, you return to your book.

It isn't until the sun begins its descent that you decide it's time to pack up your things and head home. Passing by the hospital on your way, a sense of restlessness tugs at you once more. Should you stop and see Taehyung, even if only for a few minutes? The thought lingers, but then you recall Dr. Min's pending update on his discharge status. Maybe it's best to wait for his confirmation.

You continue driving, but the concern refuses to leave your mind. Eventually, you make a decisive turn, heading back towards the hospital. It wouldn't be as lengthy as last time—just a quick visit to check on how he's doing.

When you arrive at the hospital, you hesitate for a moment outside the entrance. It's Sunday evening, and visiting hours are likely limited. You check your phone quickly to see if Dr. Min has sent any updates, but there's nothing new.

Taking a deep breath, you decide to go in anyway.

Taehyung is awake when the nurse leads you to his room, casually flipping through a magazine. He looks up, his expression softening into a smile upon seeing you.

"Hey," you say softly, stepping inside. "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by. I hope it's okay."

"It's more than okay," he replies warmly, setting the magazine aside. "I'm happy to see you."

You nod, feeling relieved that he isn't disturbed by your presence.

"Though, in all honesty," he continues, "I didn't expect you back today."

"I just wanted to check on you and make sure you're okay," you admit quietly, taking a seat nearby. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm better, just a bit sore still," he says sincerely, his gaze meeting yours. "What about you? How's your Sunday been?"

"Quiet," you respond with a small smile. "Spent most of it reading at a café, and then decided to stop by here."

"Really?" His interest piqued, he asks, "Which one? Sometimes I do the same thing when I have some free time. Or, I'll read at the beach too. It's relaxing."

"Well, have you tried the one on Willow Street? I've been a regular there since I was 16."

"No... I'm not familiar with that one," he admits, "I usually go to the one on 5th."

"5th? You know, I don't recall a café on 5th, unless..." you pause, realization dawning, "oh no," you blurt out unintentionally.

"What?" Taehyung's eyes twinkle with amusement at your spontaneous reaction. "Have you been?"

You hesitate to answer, not wanting to risk offending him.

"Yes..."

"And?" Crap, you were hoping he wouldn't ask for details.

"Um... it's okay," you reply simply.

"What? Just okay?" Taehyung exclaims, feigning offense. "Their coffee and tea are decent, and they have those comfy armchairs by the window."

"I know, but there's just something about it," you reply with a playful shrug. "Maybe it's the lighting, or maybe I'm just picky."

"Fair enough," he chuckles. "Maybe I'll check out this Willow Street café sometime. You've been going there for years, so it must be good."

"Well, I highly recommend it." You can't help but feel a bit smug, though you try to keep a straight face. It's just nice to have someone take your suggestion seriously. "You'll have to tell me your review of the place if you go."

Taehyung nods thoughtfully in reply, his gaze lingering on you with a hint of admiration. You look away, pretending to straighten your jacket. Why is he staring like that? You're not used to being looked at without some sense of hostility.

Just as you begin to feel a bit awkward, the door swings open, and a nurse peeks inside.

"Sorry to interrupt," she says kindly, "but visiting hours are over for the evening."

You glance at your watch, surprised at how quickly time has flown. "Oh, okay," you reply, a touch disappointed. "I'll be heading out then, thank you."

Once the nurse leaves, you direct your focus back to Taehyung. He smiles understandingly, sitting up a bit straighter. "Thanks for stopping by," he says warmly.

"Yeah, of course," you reply, gathering your things. "Did Dr. Min mention having you discharged any time soon?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing yet. Might be here for a couple more days."

You nod, feeling sympathy for his extended stay. "Well, take care of yourself, okay? Let me know if you need anything."

"I will," Taehyung assures you with a grateful smile. He watches as you make your way to the door, but just before you can twist the metal knob, he speaks up agian. "Uhm...if you have time tomorrow, I wouldn't mind if you came in again. It was nice to...chat."

For the first time, Taehyung seems to stumble over his words. As someone who's naturally charismatic, not to mention a skilled actor, there's a hint of nervousness in his voice.

When you turn your head to glance back at him, his smile has faded, replaced by a hopeful look, hands gently clutching the blankets.

"Sure," you agree to his innocent request, somehow unable to resist. "I'll try to stop in tomorrow if I can."

His boxy smile returns instantly as he bids you one final goodnight.

As you walk out of the room, that same smile lingers in your mind—you're glad you decided to come by.

In the days that follow, you find yourself at Taehyung's hospital bed every evening after work. Initially fulfilling his wishes, you gradually realize you've grown fond of his company. Taehyung turns out to be easy to talk to, a good listener who encourages questions you wouldn't normally ask within office walls. Here you are again, immersed in yet another spontaneous conversation that neither of you minds.

"So, what's it really like?" you inquire, curiosity lacing your voice. "Being an actor? And what about kissing strangers? I've heard some co-stars end up together after playing an onscreen couple for so long."

Taehyung chuckles softly, his eyes crinkling with amusement. "Being an actor is both exhilarating and challenging," he begins, reflecting on his experiences. "Kissing scenes... well, they're not as glamorous as they seem on screen. There are a lot of technical aspects to consider, like camera angles and timing. As for getting involved with co-stars outside of filming, I wouldn't be familiar with that. I prefer to keep those lines pretty separate."

You listen intently, fascinated by his insights into a world so different from your own. But one thing sticks out to you—how does he handle kissing scenes if he were to be in a relationship? Wouldn't that get complicated?

"I often wonder what I'd do if I had a partner," Taehyung muses suddenly, his voice thoughtful, as if sensing your unspoken question. "About the kiss scenes, I mean. I haven't actually dated for a while." Really? You think, he cant be serious...

"I'd imagine they'd be understanding since it's part of the job," you offer, trying to match his contemplative tone.

"Is that how you'd respond?" Taehyung's question catches you off guard.

"Me?" you ask, feeling slightly dumbfounded.

"Yeah, I'm just curious. Would you be okay with that?"

"Uhm... well, honestly, probably not," you admit, feeling a bit awkward. "I think I'd have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I'd kind of feel like I was sharing my partner. I don't want to share like that."

Shut up, shut up, shut up, you mentally chastise yourself. You definitely said too much.

To your surprise, Taehyung merely gives a small smile in response. "I think I'd feel the same," he says softly.

The subject ends there, as the conversation soon shifts to his latest project instead—a romantic comedy series titled with a playful nod to a four-leaf clover.

"You know, I've never seen a four-leaf clover in my life," you admit with a slight chuckle.

Taehyung laughs softly, his eyes brightening. "Really? They're supposed to bring good luck, you know."

"Good luck, huh? I guess I've never had the pleasure," you replied with a grin.

"Well, then it's settled," he declared with a playful glint in his eyes. "I'll find one for you once I'm out of here," he promises warmly.

You smile, exchanging a silent moment before hitting him with your next question. "Do you watch your own shows or movies?" you ask, genuinely curious.

Taehyung's expression shifts subtly, his gaze momentarily distant. "Honestly, I don't," he admits, his tone tinged with a hint of embarrassment. "I guess I've always felt a bit awkward seeing myself on screen. It's strange, right?"

You reassure him with a smile. "It's not so far-fetched, but I don't think there's anything to be embarrassed about. You're talented, Taehyung. I'm sure your performances are amazing."

Taehyung nods thoughtfully but then quirks an eyebrow at you. "But have you actually seen any of my work? It's a little cheesy."

You hesitate, feeling a touch sheepish. "Honestly, no," you confess. "I've never watched any of your shows or movies. But I will!"

A flicker of déjà vu crosses Taehyung's face, his expression turning thoughtful. "That's funny," he murmurs. "I feel like I've heard those exact words before, recently."

You chuckle nervously, trying to lighten the mood. He can't be referring to that night you spoke to him while he was asleep, right? "Maybe it's just a sign that I need to catch up on all the great acting I've been missing out on," you quip, hoping to diffuse any awkwardness.

Taehyung grins, his playful demeanor returning. "Well, I'll hold you to that. You'll have to give me your honest review."

"Deal," you agree with a nod. "So, as much as I hate to cut this short, I think I'm going to have to get going now."

"I understand, it's past 6:30 pm. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure thing," you reply warmly. "Get some rest."

By Thursday afternoon, you finally receive the long-awaited call from Dr. Min, informing you that Taehyung will be discharged the next morning. You're relieved that Taehyung is healthy enough to continue his recovery at home. Seeing him yesterday, he looked the best he's been since his accident. However, a small part of you feels annoyed that Dr. Min didn't call you—he called Namjoon instead.

It was an ordinary afternoon when your secretary's phone rang. Namjoon was crouched over at his desk, concentrating on a number of spreadsheets just moments before. You remember leaping over to him as soon as you heard the words, "he's ready for discharge tomorrow," leave his lips.

It's now Friday morning, and you're standing in front of your secretary's desk.

"So, you're off to pick up Taehyung now?" you ask, as casually as you can. You do your best to ignore the lingering irritation growing inside you.

"Yeah," your secretary finally replies, glancing up from his screen. "I'll drive over to the hospital in about half an hour."

"Okay." You nod, biting your tongue. So what if Namjoon gets to pick him up instead of you? It's fine, you should get over it.

It's just a little odd that Dr. Min chose to call Namjoon instead of you though. You know for a fact you've been much more involved with Taehyung's well-being than he has.

Of course, Taehyung and Namjoon are good friends, but your secretary has only gone to see him twice over the past week his buddy's been in the hospital. You've been there every day, so wouldn't it make sense that you be called first?

Evidently not.

Namjoon will be taking Taehyung home, and you likely won't be seeing him at all today. In fact, you're not even sure when you'll see him next. Technically, you have his address stored away in an HR file, but you're no creep. And you most certainly are not about to show up at his place unannounced.

It's not like Taehyung has texted you today either. Not even a quick update on his condition.

"Um..." Namjoon starts, shifting awkwardly in his chair. "Is there something else you wanted to say? I feel like you're kinda hovering over me now, to be quite honest."

"Oh, sorry," you respond, stepping back a bit. You didn't realize you were staring at him, wordless, for longer than normal. "Nothing else. Drive safe."

As if seeing right through you, Namjoon's expression softens. "If you want to see how Taehyung is, you can just text him. I'm sure he'll respond to you."

"No, it's okay," you quickly dismiss the suggestion. You don't want to bombard a man who's just getting out of the hospital with your texts. You'll leave him alone to rest.

Namjoon gives you a knowing look, eyeing your slightly hesitant state. "I'm serious, boss. Text him. You've been at his side this entire week, so if there's anyone who'd be more deserving of knowing what's up, it’d be you."

Deserving? That's a bit far, is it not? Yes, you've been visiting him, but it's not like you saved his life or anything. It's not that big of a deal. You just wanted to...make sure he was okay.

"I—When did you decide to call me boss again?" you switch subjects, but Namjoon remains unaffected.

"Text him," Namjoon says for the final time before reaching for his keys in his desk drawer. "I gotta get going, but I'll be back after I drop Tae off."

"Tae?" You haven't heard him called that before.

"Yeah, it's kinda a pet name. Sorry, I started calling him that once we became friends, so it slips out here and there. It's like second nature now."

"Got it," you nod, a bit disappointed. Maybe you weren't as close to Taehyung as you thought. "Make sure he gets home okay," you finish.

"I will." Namjoon gets up from his desk and heads out of the office. You turn around and return to your own office once he's out of sight.

While Namjoon is out, his phone rings incessantly. You find yourself getting up from your desk multiple times to take calls. By the afternoon, you're exhausted from the constant interruptions.

Maybe you should consider giving the poor man a raise.

Before the thought fully develops, his phone rings again. You don't even bother checking the caller ID anymore; you simply pick up the phone and answer in your sweetest voice.

"__? I thought I’d be hearing Namjoon first... hey," his voice is hesitant. "I hope I’m not interrupting anything."

"Jungkook," you reply cautiously, instantly recognizing his voice. "Why are you calling my work phone?"

"I... I didn't know how else to reach you. Can I come in or can you come into the parking lot? I have something to give you."

You pause, feeling a rush of unease. You haven’t spoken to Jungkook since last Friday when he called you out of the blue. Honestly, you hoped you wouldn’t hear from him, especially after telling him not to call again. It's strange that he keeps finding ways to show up unexpectedly.

"What is it you need to give me, Jungkook?" you ask bluntly, "I'm very busy."

There’s a brief silence on the other end before he answers, "It’s... It’s something personal. I’d rather not discuss it over the phone. Please, can you just come down for a moment?"

You weigh your options, torn between curiosity and apprehension. His unpredictability lately has left you unsure of what to expect. "Jungkook, I really don’t think—"

"Please," he interrupts, his voice sounding more urgent. "I promise it won’t take long."

Taking a deep breath, you decide to handle this with as much grace as you can muster. "Fine. I’ll be down in a minute."

You end the call and sit back, trying to steady your thoughts. His sudden request feels odd, and part of you worries about what he might say or do next. As you make your way to the parking lot, you mentally prepare yourself for another potentially difficult encounter.

When you arrive, Jungkook stands near his car, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. His usual confident demeanor seems replaced by a sense of unease.

"Hey," he starts, his voice tentative, "thanks for agreeing to meet."

You give a brief nod, keeping your tone neutral. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

Jungkook shifts awkwardly, his gaze dropping momentarily before meeting yours. "I wanted to apologize," he continues, his voice tinged with regret. "I'm sorry for calling you up drunk."

You feel a flicker of irritation. This is what he wanted to give you? An apology that's seven days late? You figured he would have just forgone the apology by now.

"Why now?" you ask, crossing your arms over your chest, a defense mechanism you've developed. "It's been a week. I’m not sure if you realize that or not though."

"I know," he says quickly, his eyes earnest. "I wanted to come sooner, but I wasn't sure if you'd want to see me or just never hear from me again."

You scoff slightly, "Well, for the first time, you are completely right. I don't want to see you, Jungkook." You try to keep your voice steady, but the raw edges of your emotions bleed through. There’s no point sugarcoating it at this stage; he’ll just keep pushing your boundaries if you don’t become firm with him.

He winces at your words, nodding slowly. "You have every right to feel that way. I messed up, big time. I just wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry. You deserve someone who isn't as screwed up as I am. But I still mean everything I said that night. I do love you. It took me until now to realize that, apparently."

You sigh, the weight of his words pressing down on you. Love? Now? After everything? Somehow, it feels more like a burden than anything.

"Jungkook, love isn't a get-out-of-jail-free card," you say slowly, your voice somewhat shaky. "It's not something you can just throw out there to fix things. Not only did you divorce me, but you also led me to believe we could actually be something. All those weeks of you being attentive and showing up for me after I shared my feelings made me believe that you were honestly trying to make our marriage work, that you were committed. You lied to me, discarded me, and now that I'm not around, you suddenly miss me? No, I'm sorry. You broke my trust, and that's not something you can just apologize away."

You pause, feeling the weight of your words settle in the tense air between you and Jungkook.

He looks down, nodding again. "I get it. I really do. And I don't expect you to forgive me or anything. I just wanted you to know that I understand how much I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I understand if you hate me."

You take a moment to collect your thoughts, trying to keep your voice steady despite the emotions threatening to stir inside. "Jungkook," you begin carefully, meeting his eyes. "What happened between us was painful. You calling me drunk last week was also painful. I'm sorry about the challenges you had with your parents, but it's no excuse to put that on others. If you need someone to discuss personal matters with, I suggest you see a professional."

You pause, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"I don't hate you, okay? I'm not that cold-hearted. There's still part of me that I think might always hold space for you, but I can't just forget everything. I need to move on, and that means you can't keep calling me at random times. It’s not fair to either of us. I appreciate the apology, but I don't think we can go much further."

He nods solemnly, understanding your stance. "Okay," Jungkook replies softly, his voice filled with a sadness you hadn’t expected. "I understand. I'll respect your wishes and leave you alone. Take care of yourself, okay? I...I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me," he says, his eyes earnest. "And... I'm really sorry for everything."

He begins to back away toward his car, and as he does, it hits you—it’s over.

"Take care, Jungkook," you say gently. "Don't overwork yourself, alright? Stay healthy."

He looks at you, forcing a smile. "You know I can't do that. It isn't in my blood." He sings the last part, referencing a song you both used to joke about, and you let out a small chuckle despite yourself.

"God, Jeon, I thought you'd stop with that song by now." you say, shaking your head.

"Nah," he replies, shaking his head with a faint grin as he opens his car door. "I'm taking it to my grave. I'll see you later, __."

You know the last part is a lie, an empty promise to soften the blow. Still, you respond, "Yeah, see you."

With that, you part ways in the parking lot, each going your separate ways. As you walk back to your office, the weight of the finality settles in. It's all over, you think, feeling the sting of a single tear trailing down your cheek. Unbeknownst to you, a similar tear streams down Jungkook's face as he drives away, each tear falling for completely different reasons.

Two weeks pass, and Jungkook keeps his word. He hasn’t called, texted, or shown up at your work. It’s as if he’s become a stranger, someone you once knew but is now part of a distant past.

Your days begin to regain a sense of normalcy. The emotional weight of the past few months slowly starts to lift, allowing you to refocus on your work and personal well-being. The company demands your attention, and you dive into projects, meetings, and strategies with a renewed energy.

Yet, despite the return to routine, there's a persistent sense of something missing. You haven’t talked to Taehyung at all since he got discharged from the hospital. You haven’t seen him either, and the silence pulls at you more each day.

Every time you try to get information about him from Namjoon, he gives you the same response: "Just text him. Don’t overthink it; he’ll be glad to hear from you." Once, you sensed that Namjoon wanted to say more but stopped himself short, making the excuse that it wasn’t for him to say. Whatever that meant.

You’re on your way home from running errands when the thought enters your mind for the umpteenth time: should you text Taehyung?

You’re torn between respecting his privacy and wanting to check in on him. He hasn’t reached out, so maybe he’s trying to distance himself or just needs time to recover alone, now that he’s in the comfort of his own home. On the other hand, you can’t shake the feeling that checking in would be the right thing to do.

As you approach your apartment building, you pull over into a quiet parking spot, letting your car idle. Gripping your phone, you take a deep breath and finally decide to text him.

You: Hey, Taehyung. I hope you’re doing well. Just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling. Let me know if you need anything. We still miss you at the office!

You stare at the message for a moment before hitting send. The butterflies in your stomach flutter as you wait. What if he doesn’t respond? What if he doesn't want to hear from you?

You end up deleting the message entirely.

Forget it, you think, if he wanted to hear from you he would have texted by now, right? Just leave it alone. You said you'd support him while he was in the hospital and you did. Now he needs his space to finish healing. He'll reach out when he's ready.

Your phone buzzes the next minute, snapping you out of your thoughts. You glance at it, half hoping that Taehyung was secretly telepathic. But it isn’t from him. Instead, it’s a notification from a friend inviting you to a small get-together this coming weekend.

Smiling, you accept the invitation.

Turns out your friend's get-together was a singles mixer. Unsurprisingly, you weren't approached much, if at all. It seemed the men were either too nervous, still associating you with your ex-husband, or not quite into accomplished women. That didn't stop them from ogling you, though, as your friend insisted that you dress for the affair. You didn't choose anything flashy, but it was certainly flattering.

Leaving without a phone number didn't bother you, though. At thirty years old, most of the people were younger than you, including your friend who was a couple of years younger. Plus, you found your mind often wandering to the one man you hadn't heard from in nearly three weeks—Kim Taehyung. Should you stop overthinking and finally listen to Namjoon's suggestion? Maybe it's time to contact him.

Lost in thought on your drive home, you snap back to reality when you slam on the brakes at a sudden red light. Damn, you hadn't noticed it change so quickly. Shaking off any lingering daze, you refocus and spot a man crossing the street ahead, a little dog trotting beside him on a leash.

"Taehyung," you whisper to yourself. "What is he doing out here, especially on this slipper—shit!"

Your heart skips a beat as Taehyung stumbles on the ice, struggling to keep his balance. Concerned, you pull up to the side of the road as soon as the light turns green, parking quickly and jumping out of your car to rush over to him. He leans against a brick building, his dog, Tan, yelping at your approach. Cute little guy, but you're focus is on Taehyung.

"Damn," he mutters, trying to steady himself. His eyes widen when he catches sight of you. "__, I—" he begins.

"What are you doing, Kim Taehyung?" you scold gently. "Are you trying to hurt yourself again?"

Taehyung meets your gaze, his Gucci scarf wrapped snugly around his neck. "No," he replies earnestly. "I just needed some fresh air. It's been nearly three weeks since I was discharged, and Dr. Min said short walks with Tan are okay now. My parents were here for a while, but they left this weekend."

His explanation sinks in as you take in his appearance. Despite the chill in the air, he looks better than the last time you saw him. His cheeks are slightly flushed from the cold, and there's a determination in his eyes that wasn't there before.

"You should be more careful," you reply softly, stepping closer to him. Tan, sensing the shift in attention, continues to bark happily, tail wagging. "Are you okay? My car is right here, if you need me to take you home or anything."

Taehyung nods, a small smile playing on his lips. "I know, I know. Sorry for worrying you." He gestures to Tan, who is now circling around your legs in excitement. "Tan here doesn't seem to mind the ice at all, and surprisingly, he doesn't mind you either."

You chuckle softly, crouching down to pet the little dog. "Is he usually this friendly?"

"Not at first, no," Taehyung replies, his tone lighter now. He glances down at you, his eyes softening. "I'm glad I ran into you, though. It's been...a while."

You nod, standing to your feet. "It has. I'm glad to see you're doing better."

"I am," he affirms, his gaze steady on yours. "Thanks to you, mostly. You were there for me when I needed it the most."

"Oh, come on," you say, waving off the comment. "I didn't do that much."

Taehyung's smile widens, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "You did more than you realize."

You feel a slight blush creeping up your cheeks at his words, but you maintain eye contact, appreciating the warmth in his gaze. The longer you stand there, staring at each other, the uneasier you feel. Perhaps you shouldn't ask the question that's been on your mind, but it slips out before you can stop it.

"Why didn't you call?" you ask, surprising both yourself and Taehyung as he simultaneously voices the exact same question.

Taken aback by the simultaneous question, you both chuckle nervously, breaking the tension. Taehyung scratches the back of his neck, sheepish.

"I thought about it every day," he admits, his voice quiet but sincere. "But I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me. I already took so much of your time, and I didn't want to ask more from you. So, I asked Namjoon to pick me up from the hospital. I thought maybe it would be better for me to wait for you to reach out and focus on recovering."

You nod, understanding flooding your expression. "I felt quite similar. I thought maybe you asked Namjoon because he's your friend. I didn't want to hound you when you just got released from the hospital, so I decided to let you recover in peace. I guess in the end, I was also waiting for you to reach out with an update of some kind."

Taehyung takes a few seconds to fully absorb your words before replying. "I'm sorry," he says softly, his eyes reflecting genuine remorse. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I was avoiding you. I would have been more than happy with you picking me up instead of Namjoon. I realize that I should have at least reached out to update you instead of going silent. I'd like to think of you as my friend too. But I wasn’t sure if you felt the same, and I just didn't want to burden you." His gaze becomes downcast as he stares at the ground beneath him.

You're unsure where you find the courage, but you bring your hands up to cup his cheeks, gently lifting his face so he meets your eyes. You have to stand on your tiptoes a bit, which he finds endearing.

"I’d like to consider you my friend too, and that means you shouldn't worry about burdening me anymore, Tae," you say softly, your touch lingering momentarily on his face, caught up in the moment. When you realize what you've done, you pull back slightly, flustered. "Um… sorry, I didn't mean to call you that."

"It's okay," he responds, his voice gentle. "I don't mind. You can call me Tae from now on if you'd like. Also, you're not a burden either, you never were to me."

You're speechless for a second before replying. "So, friends then?" you ask. "No more mixed signals and reaching out when we want?"

"I mean, I’d like that as long as you do too," he confirms with a warm smile, though his eyes say there's more that he's left unsaid. You don't notice, however.

"Text me whenever you have something on your mind," he continues.

"I will," you promise. “You too.”

"Definitely.” Taehyung pauses, glancing down at Tan who's decided to lay down by his feet. "So, I was going to take a walk with Tan at the park nearby. Any chance you'd like to join me?" His gaze shifts back to you, hopeful yet uncertain.

"I'd like that," you reply genuinely. "But we're taking my car over, so you don't break a hip on this ice, old man."

Taehyung's mouth gapes open as he shakes his head. "How many times do I need to tell you? I'm only two years older than you. Two!"

It's surreal.

How much you and Taehyung have started becoming friends, that is.

Almost two months have already passed, and it feels like just yesterday you were merely colleagues, you his boss.

Saturdays have become your day with Taehyung now. While part of you insists it's to prevent him from slipping on the ice again, deep down, you both know there's more to it now that he's almost fully recovered from his injuries.

Each weekend, you find yourselves exploring different parks and streets, swapping childhood stories, and sharing laughter over the dumbest things. Today, however, would be different. With rain threatening to drench the city, Taehyung suggested a change of plans—a cozy movie day indoors. Little did he know, you had a surprise in store for him.

You dash up to the front door, a bag of homemade food in one hand and an umbrella in the other.

Taehyung opens the door with a grin, holding his own umbrella. "Hey! Perfect timing," he chuckles, taking the umbrella from you and gesturing inside. "Come in. It's freezing out there today."

You step inside, shaking off the raindrops and removing your shoes. The warmth of his home envelopes you, a comforting contrast to the chilly rain outside.

"I brought something," you announce, holding up the bag. "Guess what it is?"

Taehyung looks at you curiously, his eyebrows raised in anticipation. "Hmm," he muses, pretending to ponder. "Knowing you, it's probably my favorite spicy chicken wings from that place near your office."

"Very close, Tae. Except these chicken wings were made by your favorite person in the whole world," you tease, handing him the bag with a grin.

Taehyung's eyes lit up as he takes the bag from you. "No way," he says, a mix of disbelief and excitement in his voice. "You made them yourself? You're the best, __. Seriously."

"It's the least I could do," you reply with a smile, following him into the living room where the TV flickers. "Besides, it's pouring out there. Movie day with good food seems like the perfect plan."

"Absolutely," he agrees, setting the food down on the coffee table. "I was thinking we could start with that new action flick I heard about."

"Aww, but I thought you said we could watch one of your movies instead?" you argue playfully, sinking into the couch. Tan bounds over, wagging his tail in excitement at the prospect of company. You scratch behind his ears while Taehyung sets up the movie.

"What? I don't remember saying that. Was I drunk that day?" he jokes.

"Well... maybe?" you tease back.

"I told you, __, I don't like watching my own films. It's weird, and half the time it's me kissing the female lead. You're going to need to watch those on your own time," he quips, his tone more serious than intended. The truth is, he really would rather not be there when you watch him kiss his co-stars.

"Alright, alright, getting aggressive over there," you chuckle, not seeing the faint rosy tint that's crept up on his cheeks. "We'll watch the action movie."

As the opening scenes roll, you can't help but steal glances at Taehyung. Despite the seriousness of his recent health issues, he seems more at ease today, a genuine smile gracing his face as he takes a seat beside you. It feels good to see him like this, relaxed and feeling more like himself.

Halfway through the movie, he nudges you gently. "Thanks for coming over today," he says softly, his gaze warm as it meets yours. "And for the food, of course."

"You don't have to thank me," you reply sincerely, nudging him back with a smile. "I'm happy to do it."

Unexpectedly, Taehyung reaches for the TV remote, pausing the scene playing in front of you. "Hey, __," he says, turning to face you, a hint of nervousness in his eyes as they shift from side to side.

"What is it, Tae?" You feel a slight unease, sensing tension. He's once again just staring into your eyes, wordless.

"Do you..." he starts but stops short, his voice trailing off.

"Yes?" You search his face for clues as to what he's trying to say.

"Would you want to go to a party with my family?" he finally asks, his words coming out in a rush. "My parents are hosting to celebrate my recovery, but really it's just an excuse to get the family together."

"So, a family reunion?" Your voice drops slightly, a mix of surprise and...disappointment? Why had you been expecting something different?

"I mean, yes, sort of. You don't have to if you don't want to," he adds quickly, almost anxiously. "I know it might be uncomfortable for you, but you've been here for me during so much of my recovery. It would mean a lot to have you there. My parents want to meet you too."

"Um... well, I've never been to a family function before," you admit hesitantly.

"You haven't?" Taehyung looks genuinely surprised.

You shake your head. "My family's never been one to do those types of things."

"Well, consider yourself part of my family then. Come with me, __. They'll love you."

"I-I don't know about that," you say softly, a flicker of uncertainty crossing your face. "How can you be so sure that they'll like me?"

"Because I do," he urges gently, "and if I like you, so will they."

You're taken aback by his words, unsure how to respond. Surely he means this in a platonic way. Despite growing closer, you and Taehyung are just friends, setting aside any previous suspicions of romantic interest. Maybe if circumstances were different—if you weren't divorced—then maybe you could entertain the idea.

For now, you'll leave that side of him alone and simply be his friend. You feel a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

"Okay," you finally say, nodding your head. "I'll come. When is it?"

"They want to do it next weekend, weather permitting. We can carpool if you'd like, or you can take your own car," he offers.

"I'll think about it," you reply, trying to process the unexpected turn of events.

"Great." Taehyung flashes a boxy grin. "Thank you, I was so nervous to ask."

"Of course," you say, offering a tight-lipped smile. Taehyung unpauses the movie, and you return your attention to the TV screen. Minutes following your phone buzzes and a text message from Jimin appears on your screen.

Chim 🐥: __! Hate to be bringing this up, but have you seen the news about Jungkook? Looks like he's preparing to step down as CEO. Did you know about this?"

What? You had no clue.

a/n: If you are mad at me, well....I'm sorry but pls blame jk instead. But I am hoping you enjoyed! 🥰 vote jjk or kth

Masterlist | Requests: closed | Taglist | Fic Recs

Tags:

@jksjx @lovingkoalaface @junecat18 @babystarcandyjk97 @wobblewobble822 @a-gayish-unicorn @neverthefirstchoice @whipwhoops @hubbytaehyung @jalexad @cassies-cookies @llallaaa @marshieeeemallow @baechugff @lovemazespluto @eegyo @iwanttobecalledaurora @harmonyflora @francheskarm34 @sftlrmin @saba-ya @11thenightwemet11 @yoursnixni @zafirowwa2909 @btsffreader92 @junniesoleilkth @iamcamlb @bangctans @lilliankoo @talyaaas-blog @blackswan18 @appleh4ad @hoseokteardrop @613tannies @whoa-jo @borahaeb1ch @getougf @chimmisbae @kookcobain @miniekookiegucci @purplelanterns @eegyo @inthemiddleofsomething22-blog @darkuni63 @bibimboppin19 @phanniefoo @chieftoadturkeynickel @existenciosa @dasommwa @minayas1998 @sumzysworld @pwd54gr54 @jellycake2109 @sigxx123 @00frenchfries00 @importantperfectionmiracle @stigma93 @lpgirl2324 @youremyjinearth @moonups-stuff @bubblyyz @hvnnibvni @ttanniett @secfir @urlovelily @iknowhistouch3 @nadzzzblog @itsmina29 @mochibites00 @syazzzlisa @ash07128 @kawennote09 @merrygo14 @butterymin @cybercheesygurl @juju-227592 @lesiacapouille

side note: I tried tagging readers in comments but most of them didn't go through, so i'm sorry about the clutter here...😬

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[strwbberrriii]

Leon Kennedy Headcanons ♡

my Leon headcanons because i love him and think about him about him constantly, so enjoy my hcs about this man <3

some are silly and random, some are romantic.

-he's such a SWEETHEART.

-omg. he's a sweetie. i can't with this man. he makes me smile and giggle every time i see him. he's such a himbo you guys.

-he speaks italian, english and spanish. since he is from Italy (or rather, his parents are), he's known the language since birth. then learned english when he got to kindergarten.

-i don't think his english or spanish are the best though since they're not his first. he'll sometimes be forget some english words when talking to somebody, so he replaces them with italian ones and his coworks are just like "what???" 🤨

-has definitely said "wow there partner" or "wow there cowboy" when somebody pisses him off.

-he likes both women and men. he has no preference either. i see him as either bi or pan, probably more pan leaning since that's what i am.

-he's literally such a good boyfriend, i can't. even if you too aren't dating and are just friends, he's so sweet. i would gladly given him a kiss on the cheek if i could.

-if you we're to get your period, he'll buy you pads and tampons. if you get cramps, he'll sit on the ground or lay in bed with you and rub your back. he'll go "i'm so sorry baby." :(

-his favorite colors (and color pallet) are blue and black. the blue is meant to represent stylishness.

-he's so dog coded. like just full on golden retriever energy.

-likes lizards. bc i said so.

-goes to NICU and rocks babies with Rebecca sometimes, it makes his life feel somewhat normal and i love that for him <3 also girl dad leon. "girl dad leon!" we all say in unison.

-his birthday is around july-august, my brain says July 25th for some reason.

-if you're taking to long to get ready, he will threaten to leave you behind but he's not. you know it. he knows it. everyone knows it. "will you hurry up baby? i will leave you." "no you won't." "you're right, i probably won't...just hurry up, please."

-calls you baby, babe, and sweetheart. i just picture him calling you something basic or something.

-goes to a coffee shop every morning and gets the same coffee to start his day off strong. his drink choice is either really plain or stupidly girl 😭😭

-also leon is a fashion icon. especially older leon. you can deny it all you want, but in the end, we know he's cunty. like cunty cunty. like he has his bachelor in cuntology with a major in motherlogical studies at the university of servington.

-motorcycle rides!!!!!!!!!! :3 (re6-)

-as a teenager, he had really bad acne, so during re2 and generation he has a skin care routine but never tells anyone (only Krauser knows. he kinda approves, Krauser is all about taking care of yourselves to improve), so he washes his face before bed, takes meds for his skin, and puts medicine all over his face.

-however as his mental heath declines, he'll stop doing it, and his acne will either stay the same or get as bad as it was in teenager.

-also Krauser is HIGHLY against facial hair and forced Leon to shave it. but after he dies, leon stops giving a shit.

-his favorite my little pony characters are fluttershy and rainbow dash of course.

also i made a playlist for him, so you wanna listen to it, here's the link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uLAoUjwZaXzxcH8uCt7yP?si=a3f2e9cf27b54365 also the songs are not what i think he would like, it's just songs that remind of him :D

[verysium]

blu lock top artists on Spotify??? i need your thoughts on it

anon you had me pulling up my spotify playlists and browsing through the entirety of genius.com for three hours straight. i'm going to tweak this prompt a little bit and include specific songs that best represent them since it's easier for me to explain that way.

RIN

the fanon answer for this is chase atlantic. while their songs do encapsulate parts of his personality (mostly the edgy teenager and disillusioned youth persona), i feel like this choice does not do his full character justice.

the canon answer for this is king gnu, more specifically the song "prayer x." i can picture this since rin seems like the type to enjoy alternative rock/indie, but the fact that it's the ending theme to banana fish is what gets to me. like...do you see yourself in ash or something? i hope you don't cus it doesn't end well. that anime had me bawling my eyes out for months, and i still can't think about it without breaking down again.

furthermore, the lyrics and music video to this song are very cryptic and borderline nihilistic. for example, "hiding behind this nonchalant smile" and "my life's spark will wink out of existence." i feel like this speaks volumes about rin's mental health and internal thought process. he obviously does not process his emotions normally and instead represses them. he also struggles with the idea of finding a purpose in what is otherwise a cyclical routine with no end. he's worried and, quite frankly, afraid that if he ever stops pursuing his dream, everything will come crumbling down, and he will have to face all the demons he's avoided for so long. the main theme here is that he cannot face his reality (the fact that sae's dream is not his own.) so he does everything in order to escape this fact even if it ultimately destroys him.

from my own playlists, i'd assign him the following songs/artists:

"beautiful boy" by john lennon

this is a love letter to baby rin. i feel like he would've enjoyed this song as either a lullaby or something he listened to on car rides to the beach during summer vacations. he probably still listens to this when it's raining outside or he's had a bad day. reminds him of his childhood and the good parts of it.

"the love club" by lorde

this is something pre-teen rin listened to. the irony is spot-on, and i feel like the lyrics would be relevant during a time when he was going through his rebellious phase and fully fleshing out his place in society. in this instance, the club would metaphorically be wherever his brother is at, whether that's the guys sae meets in spain or the group of football players considered "top-notch" in japan. everything is about finding a place in this club/clique in an effort to become free and differentiate himself from others. the only problem is that rin ironically loses his freedom because he tries so hard to be among the best. he signs his life away in pursuit of a dream, and it's something that now defines him.

"the only problem i got with the club / is how you're severed from the people / who watched you grow up"

this lyric in particular could apply to either one of the itoshi brothers. it's one of the caveats that comes with fame. you gain everything, but you lose everything before that. both of the itoshis likely experienced some amount of separation from their loved ones, including each other. also lorde's vocals are beautiful as always, so there's no reason not to include this song.

"howlin' 404" by DEAN

the production for this song is on point. the intro has a segment from a 1930s american horror radio program which is fitting because rin canonically watches horror movies. i think this song is something rin might listen to during cold autumns or midnights when he just can't sleep.

lyrically, there is the motif of a time loop which is also present in "prayer x." rin's character itself just has this connection with the raw grittiness of existentialism and this idea of repeating days without purpose. (in fact, he would make a great psychological thriller lead.) rin is also a control freak. if he lets one loose end go, it will unravel the entire thing. that matches up with the idea of "killing me softly." rin would rather prolong his pain than have it ripped from him all at once and leave him with nothing. i find this in a lot of people in real life too. even if your trauma wasn't good for you, it sometimes becomes the only thing you truly own. it's like that one quote from bojack horseman. "if i don't, that means that all the damage i got isn't good damage, it's just damage." rin feels like he has something to prove, and if he fails, all his suffering would've been for nothing.

"moonchild" by RM

i may be a bit biased since i love the mono mixtape, and i've written a rin fic about celestial bodies, but....this song just fits him. there's also a remarkable similarity with the lyrics of the previous songs i've listed. i'm just going to list a few:

"smiling in endless pain / you know / there's no freedom when you say freedom out loud"

one thing i love about RM is that he doesn't shy away from character flaws. he writes songs specifically for those who are always picked last, who aren't remarkable in any way, who feel weighed down by their normality. he gives them their spotlight and due diligence. for example, the entirety of the chorus is a repeat of "moonchild, you shine." i find this interesting since it's usually the sun that shines. but the sun is already sae, and rin is relegated to being the moon. yet even though the moon doesn't have its own light (it merely reflects the sun), it still shines bright in the darkness. rin doesn't know it yet, but he himself is a big role model for others such as isagi, his fans, and people just like him. so yeah....i'd take this song as a message of hope for future rin.

SAE

the fanon answer is lana del rey, and i would agree to a certain extent. under the right circumstances, he could become one of those dreamy, emotionally stunted, and tired men you guys all lust over. if y/n ever wrote a romantic song about him, it would be either "west coast" (for the spanish influences) or "art deco" (for the vibes.)

the headcanon answer is nothing. i don't think he listens to music much. even if he did, it would be probably classical/instrumental or just white noise for his long flights. i imagine him listening to erik satie's "gymnopédie no. 3" on a train ride or something.

from my own playlists, i'm going to give him these songs/artists:

"remind me" by röyksopp

i don't know how to explain this, but this song gives a bittersweet sense of nostalgia. think early 2000s when the TV footage was still grainy and had retro graphics. you're carrying around your mini mp3 player whilst wandering through the airport and wondering how the hell you even ended up there. that's the general ambience of this song.

lyrically, the song also matches well with sae. i'm going to give you a few examples:

"it's only been a week / the rush of being home in rapid fading"

again, this is a tribute to the disconnection sae feels from his home. he goes everywhere, but he belongs nowhere. when he finally returns to japan, he finds himself missing spain. when he's in madrid, he thinks about the ocean back in kamakura. there never is a place that truly fills that gaping hole in his chest. i also feel like sae experiences FOMO on a whole other level. he constantly feels like something is wrong/missing and he's not doing enough.

"brave men tell the truth / the wise man's tools are analogies and puzzles"

the idea here is that though sae is blunt with his words, he is a coward with his intentions/true feelings. he can brutally call out someone without hesitation, but to actually reveal his own truths and motives? he'd rather shrivel up in a hole and die. this is especially applicable to love. to him, a wise man is someone who doesn't open his heart up easily. instead, he hints at his feelings, and whether or not you can figure that out is on you. sae hates it when others play games with him. it's where his hypocrisy lies. he demands straightforward honesty from others, but he himself will unintentionally play games with you if it means he can hide himself behind his walls.

"a woman holds her tongue / knowing silence will speak for her"

this is the closest you guys are ever going to get to sae itoshi's ideal type. he loves people who don't need to say something for him to believe it. they just get it. your silence is automatically enough for him to know that you love him. similarly, you don't even need to speak a word to understand what he's feeling.

"night shift" by lucy dacus

this song is sae if he was that one ex-boyfriend who really fucked you up emotionally, and you never got over him even though you said you did. now that i think about it, the story could be told from either POV. this could be sae trying to erase you from his mind, or it could also be you post-breakup.

"you've got a 9 to 5 / so i'll take the night shift / and i'll never see you again / if i can help it"

i know this one lyric caused controversy all over tiktok, so i'm going to add my own interpretation. at face value, this is exactly what it says it is. sae doesn't want to see you again, nor do you. he's willing to go out of his way just to avoid you, and truthfully he would. when sae finds himself in trouble, he doesn't look for something new to fix him. instead, he cuts everything off and subtracts anything that is deadweight. if you're out of his life, then you're out of his life. he's not coming back for you (or at least that's what he says to convince himself). same thing with rin. he knows he hurt rin, but he's not going to go back and try to make it right. he's going to move on and try to justify his actions every step of the way. one day, rin will move on too, and then sae would have been right all along. (unfortunately, that is not the way things work, but that's a lesson for another time.)

the alternative interpretation is that y/n is the other woman. this could be literal as in sae already has someone else in his life, and he only sees you at night. you're only ever going to be the night shift. it could also be metaphorical as in you're merely a distraction in the grand scheme of things. you're the mistress, but football is his wife if that makes sense. his career will always take precedence.

"you get me so high" by the neighborhood

this song is all the words sae wished he said to rin but never did. it made me cry because everything would have been so different if they had just set aside their pride and truthfully sought each other out.

"hope you don't regret it / i pushed a lot back but i can't forget it"

repressing feelings seems to be a recurring issue with the itoshi brothers. like....maybe if i just push it out of sight, it will also go out of mind. and at its core, this all stems from fear. fear of facing the consequences, the hypotheticals, the terrifying realization that you did something you regret and there really is no turning back from it. but realistically, if you think about it, a lot of this is the byproduct of overthinking. sometimes the situation isn't as complicated as we might make it out to be. sometimes an apology doesn't fix everything, but it's a proposition to be something more, an attempt at a solution. but sae and rin are so blindsided by their own internal turmoil that they cannot see this.

"for a long time i took it all for granted / i really thought we had it / but at the time it was more than i could manage"

ah....the "taking for granted" part. i could ramble on about that for hours. i think it really is some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy that we never miss something until it's gone. and in a way, it's not something that we can always control. the value you assign to a person/object when you have it is going to be fundamentally different from the value you assign to it when it's no longer in your grasp. that's how scarcity works. something with a limited supply is always going to be worth more. the vice versa works as well. you might yearn after something but then throw it away the moment you finally have it and grow tired of it. this sort of dilemma that comes with appreciation is so common i really wouldn't blame the itoshi brothers for what they did. it is immensely difficult to know when you're going to lose something or when you need to let it go. and sometimes it's hard to be constantly grateful for what you have because many of us are wired to want something more. tbh that's what makes the itoshis relatable.

"if we can leave it all behind us / and meet in between"

now sae would never say this unless he himself had actually reflected on what happened and fully processed it. but maybe in the future, they could set aside their differences and reach out to each other. (this is how i cope)

"but i just had to let you know / i never meant to hurt you, though / i had all my motives / i didn't know they wouldn't mix with your emotions / i just had to reach my goals / never knew i'd meet you though"

that's the thing with personal ambition. sometimes you get so caught up in yourself, you forget all about others. and this isn't really selfishness, or at least intentional selfishness. it just sort of happened that way. you never meant to hurt them, but you still somehow did.

"we should stick together / you're my best friend / i'll love you forever"

yeah....this line was the one that did it for me. something about the dysfunctional sibling dynamic just eats away at my insides. like....i could've loved you, we could've been so much together, but why aren't we? what we have isn't hate, but it isn't the love i know and crave either.

"we could be the greatest / it doesn't matter if we're never rich or famous"

ok but if rin ever heard this leave sae's lips, i think all of his trauma would just be magically healed. he just wants his brother to see him. like fully see him and love him. but alas, what is blue lock without angst, am i right?

"love in the dark" by adele

now i don't think sae would ever listen to adele, but the lyrics are just too fitting. i was going to write a fic on this, but it's going to have to ferment a bit in the drafts for now. basically this is the entire rin/sae traumatic scene but as a melodramatic torch song with adele's heavenly vocals.

"take your eyes off of me so i can leave / i'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me"

um...this is literally sae's internal monologue??? i feel like letting go of things is something both the itoshi brothers struggle with. their lives are constantly pulling them in different directions, and eventually they become numb to it all. they don't form any strong attachment to anything besides football because that's the one thing that won't change for them. in a way, this is necessary for their character development (in the sense that they need to discern for themselves what to keep and what to let go), but it also destroys any sense of belonging they might have (hence why they feel lonely.)

"don't try to change my mind / i'm being cruel to be kind"

sae would definitely say this. like word for word. if only he wasn't a vague dumbass with no communication skills.

"i can't love you in the dark / it feels like we're oceans apart"

this is literally their dynamic in one lyric. there is the physical distance, and then there's the emotional distance.

"we're not the only ones, / i don't regret a thing / every word i've said, / you know i'll always mean"

this sort of reminds me when sae said that the world is huge, and there's so many players way better than him out there. i think spain really gave him a reality check, and he grew angry at rin when rin couldn't understand his disillusionment.

"everything changed me / and i don't think you can save me"

adele sort of echoes this softly at the end of the song. i feel like sae would do that too. he wouldn't admit his own insecurities until the very end, and only then does the truth come out.

"i'll sleep when i'm older" by bruno major

this is sae when he's older and fully mature, preferably after he meets you. he finally decides to damn it all and do what he wants.

"conversations with elders and the wisdom they bring ... / the view from an aeroplane at twelve thousand feet"

sae views things that previously annoyed him in a new light. he used to hate his elders, but he visited you and your mother once, and something changed within him. now he calls his parents more often, and his eyes linger on the old couples near the park benches. sometimes, his gaze softens just a bit when he imagines the two of you growing old just like them.

flights used to be a mundane part of his routine, but now he finds himself leaning over your window seat to see the mountains down below. the clouds and sunny weather set him aglow. and you just look so pretty when you fall asleep on his shoulder. he doesn't ever want this change.

"meet god on a mountain top along with the stars / find love somewhere, anywhere / fall deep from the start"

sae used to avoid love, but now he's running at it full-force. people tend to shy away from making sae a romantic because it seems too ooc. however, in the right situation, i think sae could entirely abandon his previous ideals and become someone else entirely. (that's why it's called a character evolution guys.)

"misplace my mind and follow my heart"

again, if you're able to make sae lose all rationality and let his heart guide him instead, then you've really done something. kudos to you for penetrating the walls of the coldest asshole known to mankind.

"i'll be a firework, not a flickering flame / treat life all around me like a one-player game"

this one lyric applies both to younger and older sae. younger sae is someone unafraid of risking it all if it means he can achieve something worthwhile. it doesn't matter how many players he has to defeat, how many people he has to leave behind. in this world, it is just him and the goal he has to accomplish.

however, after he's mellowed out after a few years (i'd say around middle age), he probably reinterprets this as something else. he's not going to constrain himself to his tunnel vision anymore. there's so much more to life than that.

"i'll go to the party and forget all the names / should it climb back to haunt me, / it ends all the same"

sae finally lets himself live the life he never thought he'd have. he does stupid things like get drunk and make a fool of himself. but you're there for him, so he doesn't really care. in fact, he can finally say that for the first time in a long time....he's having fun.

KAISER

the fanon answer is the weeknd. i'm not going to lie, i completely agree with this one. i saw this one edit of him to "party monster," and i can say i have been fully enlightened and converted. however, this is not just about a toxic male manipulator anthem. it's much more than that.

this is about running away from the ugliest parts of yourself, becoming a slave to your vices, knowing you're broken somewhere and you can never fix it. i would say his character is most similar to "starboy" in the fact that he literally flaunts everything he has to hide the fact that deep down inside, he really has nothing else to hold onto. "starboy" is all about the status symbol (money, red lamborghinis, glass table girls turning into ebony table girls lol). but at the end of the day, he doesn't really have anything except an empty heart and a satirical quip for all those who made him famous. the same theme applies to "the morning" and "house of balloons."

in the romantic sense, i think "don't break my heart" would represent kaiser. and no, this is not a justification for him being an f-boy. it's more so an exploration of why people might think he is an f-boy. i do not condone his actions, but i do try to understand them. in particular, i feel like the lyrics of "sacrifice" also fit him well.

"i was born in a city / where the winter nights don't ever sleep / so this life's always with me / the ice inside my veins will never bleed"

i headcanon kaiser as being born in either berlin or munich. and if you don't know anything about those two places, just know that you freeze your ass off during wintertime. i think it's interesting how his past could be intrinsically tied with a place, and he takes a piece of his past self with him wherever he goes. the ice in veins part also made me think about how kaiser would rather freeze up every weakness within himself than let them run free and make him human.

"every time you try to fix me / i know you'll never find that missing piece"

guys...did you hear that? to all you delusional people out there, this is your service announcement. you cannot fix someone who does not want to be fixed. write that down and memorize it. all meaningful change starts with a shift in mindset, and if they themselves are not in the right headspace to recognize that something is wrong and actively want to change, you're not going to get anywhere. so yeah....kaiser is not going to change unless HE starts doing the changing.

"i hold you through the toughest parts / when you feel like it's the end / 'cause life is still worth living"

i think this lyric sort of explores kaiser's dynamic with ness. on one front, he is the one picking ness up from his miserable past and instilling a sense of hope into him (intentionally or not.) but on another front, this could also be a problem. kaiser is almost forcefully optimistic in the way that he believes anything is possible. it has to be possible because there can be no other way. but the thing is.....you have to know your limits sometimes. blind optimism is, ironically, similar to cornering yourself.

"i can break you down and pick you up / and fuck like we are friends / but don't be catching feelings"

this is definitely the type of bullshit kaiser would spew. i could picture a fwb or situationship with him where y/n just constantly receives the short end of the stick. now this may be reaching, but i also feel like this is how kaiser projects his own trauma onto others. he himself clawed his way up to the top and put himself back together every time he fell down. the problem is that he also expects you to be that resilient. he's going to treat you badly because you're supposed to be like him: someone who can overcome everything and strive towards the impossible.

the headcanon answer to his top artist would be keshi. in particular, i think kaiser would fit the vibe of "2 soon" and "drunk." long story short, you finally broke up with him, and he's still reeling from the impact.

within my fics, i envision a dialogue between kaiser and y/n from each one of their perspectives. so based on that, i'm going to assign him the following songs/artists:

"gibson girl" by ethel cain

i know i said earlier that kaiser's character is not solely about toxic manipulation, but you have to understand that all bad habits originate from somewhere. kaiser is innately self-destructive, and he brings you down along with him. this song is about that but from y/n's perspective. there's this idea of trying to find agency in a situation where you have none. i don't have the word count to explain ethel cain lore in all of its naked glory, but all i can say is that this song is a banger and deals with themes like femininity as a performance, finding power in pain, religious motifs, etc.

"glory box" by portishead

this song is y/n's last plea to kaiser before they fully give up on him and leave. i'm also a sucker for anything that involves an exploration of gender dynamics and what it means to be a woman, and this song is riddled with it.

"suffocation" by crystal castles

this is kaiser post-isagi defeat (cue that one scene where he was trying to choke himself.) similar to sae, it's all or nothing with him. he suffers from this feeling of inferiority. everyone made him out to be this great figure of impossible dreams and legends, but look at him now. he's nothing. aren't you disappointed? he had you fooled, but he also fooled himself. so yeah....kaiser is definitely the most self-deprecating out of all of the boys at blue lock.

ISAGI

the fanon answer is laufey, and i also agree. he's so sweet, and laufey's music just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. he would also be that one love that came creeping up on you when you least expected it. "valentine" would be the song for that. i picture a reader who's had a series of unfortunate breakups and is right on the edge of giving up entirely. but then isagi comes along, and it's just so easy to love him. as easy as breathing. and then you think maybe it wasn't so bad after all. you just never found the right one until he came into your life. furthermore, isagi is a jazz pop princess, and you can't convince me otherwise.

the headcanon answer is IU. more specifically, i would say "troll" from her lilac album. i feel like even if you and isagi broke up, it would still be like you two never broke up at all. you're both on good terms, and even though you know it's counterproductive to keep cycling back to each other, you do it anyways. and it's okay because you're both still in love.

from my own playlists, i would assign the following songs/artists:

"winter bear" by v

this is my comfort song. it feels like those big sherpa blankets you tuck yourself under when you're lying next to the heater in winter. isagi would kiss your forehead and nuzzle your nose before you two drifted off to sleep.

"a boy named pluto" by hailey knox

this one is so romantic lol. i also like the dynamic where one party is afraid to love, but the other person loves them unconditionally. that would be isagi. he'd respect your decision and wait for you as long as you need it. but if you're ever ready to give him a chance, just know that he's going to treasure all of you.

"put your records on" by ritt momney

the inspiring thing about isagi is that he never lets anyone put him down. he takes rejection as redirection, failure as room for improvement. and in that way, i think this song encapsulates his resilience. he'd be such a good boyfriend not just romantically but in the way that he would literally pick you back up to your feet, dust you off, and make sure everything was alright.

"fairy of shampoo" by dosii

i picture isagi as someone who falls first and falls harder. he just loves you so much, and he doesn't even need a reason why. i saw somewhere that sometimes you don't love someone because they're your soulmate/twin flame/supernaturally fated other. you love them because you consciously made the decision to. isagi is like that. he loves you on purpose.

helppp why does this sound like an academic paper...i'm sorry anon. i got carried away with this, but i hope u like it.

[mintkookiess]

If Only.

Worst mistake to write angst while listening to a sad playlist oh my god I kid you not, I started ugly sobbing during the climax that I needed a quick break before continuing. Don't mind me, just gonna sulk in a corner for a while.

Love,

Mint

Summary: Hanahaki disease. That’s all I’m placing here.

Tags: Miles Morales x reader, Hanahaki disease, angst (no happy ending again), death, don't forget your tissues, not proofread, maybe I'll do it later

Warnings: Major character death, mentions of blood

Your eyes pried open on another normal, already dragging, Tuesday morning. The alarm clock on your bedside table wasn’t even loud enough to wake you, seeing as how you slept through it. You carefully laid to your side, as the all-too-familiar cough climbed up your throat. This went on for a minute until you see a small pile of petals on the floor. 

“Shit…” You muttered to yourself, groggily grabbing the glass of water that you’d already prepared the previous night like always. This was the normal morning routine for you.

Wake up. Cough those stupidly red petals. Get through the day. Cough even more petals. Go home. Sleep. Repeat.

On this particular morning, however, it was quite different because you could hear the voice of your best friend outside your dorm.

“Hey, you awake yet?” Miles asked, knocking softly to make sure he doesn’t wake you if you were still asleep. You always thought that was kind of him. 

You forced yourself up and out of your bed, shoving back the blankets then dragged your feet to open the door. 

“I’m awake. Why are you here? Thought you’d be waiting at the school entrance like usual.” You said huskily, still with that morning voice. Your best friend shook his head, “I kinda woke up a little early today so I thought I’d come to pick you up from your place instead.” 

You couldn’t help but smile. 

He was just too good for you.

“Fine. Let me get changed at least.” You chuckled, before closing the door in his face. You laid your back against it, sliding down to the floor as you felt that familiar ache in your chest.

In just a few seconds, you started hacking once more right then and there.  

Ah, was it because I wasn’t expecting him here this morning?

“H-Hey, you good?” You hear Miles ask from the other side, making you scramble up. “I’m fine Miles just um… choked on my saliva.” You lied. Your hands quickly grab the tiny broom and pan you kept and started sweeping up all the red petals that decorated your floor. 

You then threw every single last one in your already overflowing bin. I’d have to clear that out before he sees it.

You quickly changed into some more decent clothes before grabbing your bag and heading out to see Miles laying against the opposite wall of the door, he gave you a small smile and stood up. “Ready?” 

You nodded in response, making sure to lock your door before you both head down. 

“Oh right, Gwen is actually coming with us to class today if that’s okay,” Miles said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his hair. 

You made it like your life’s mission to ignore Gwen at all costs. It was entirely selfish, but it wasn’t like it really did you any favors with your… disease. Miles had confronted you about this a couple of times, but you just came up with lie after lie. You didn’t want to, because you can’t exactly tell him the true reason. 

Of course, your best friend knew you were lying, but he just didn’t want to pry because it might make you uncomfortable. And you were thankful for that. Until now. 

“Miles—”

“I know I know I just… It was a last-minute thing.” Miles said, trying to reason with you, “It’ll be just this once I swear. I know you’re not exactly a fan of her but, can’t you still try? I mean maybe if you got to know her better—“

“Fine.” You sighed, finally agreeing. 

Doctor Sanchez’s words suddenly echoed in your head like a siren that was loudly warning you. 

“Stop feeding yourself even more hurt. Ignore, lie, and do anything you can to stop. It’ll slow it down, but not much.”

Oh, how you knew. This was practically engraved into your mind, heart, body, and soul. You said this to yourself so many times like an oath. Avoid the hurt. 

But you can’t keep being a bad friend to Miles any more than you already have. 

The both of you continued to walk to the lobby of your school in complete silence. Miles could only bite his lip in nervousness, though he just wanted to ask why you happened to dislike Gwen so much, he just didn’t want to make you mad. His grip on his backpack’s straps only tightens at the thought. 

What is really going on with you? He thought to himself. 

Your eyes stared straight forward as you both reached your destination. It wasn’t long until it spotted the familiar blonde girl from a distance.

Gwen gave a light wave to the two of you as she walked toward where you both were standing. 

“Hey Gwen, what’s up?” Miles greeted, his face lighting up in an instant like some Christmas tree in New York. 

You forced yourself to look away but still got a glimpse of it. 

Why did I agree to this?

Your chest tightened, and you instinctively covered your mouth with a hand. No please, not here. Not right now.

“Um hey…” Gwen cautiously greeted you. She tried to give you a friendly smile to which you only nodded.

Miles could already sense the growing tension and suddenly clapped his hands together. “So, physics class? We gotta bounce or we’d all be marked late.” 

“Yeah, we should go.” You mumbled, walking past them while still covering your mouth as if it would stop the cough that was threatening to let out. 

Gwen and Miles looked at each other worriedly but silently followed behind you. 

You could hear them talk in hushed voices behind you, but your entire focus was on trying to not cough in the school hallways. 

The Hanahaki disease isn’t exactly a secret. Everyone knows what it is. And you’d rather burn in hell than have people find out. Especially him and her.

Your other hand clutched your chest as you tried to walk faster because you wanted to keep a safe distance between you and the other two as much as possible before you practically start vomiting those red petals on the school floors. 

“Is… she okay?” Gwen whispered to Miles with clear concern. She knew you didn’t exactly like her, she wasn’t an idiot. Gwen believes that it’s because she suddenly entered your two-man friend group without warning when in reality, it was so much more than that. 

“Sorry about her…” Miles sighed, his head hung low and a frown decorated his lips. You were his absolute best friend, and to see you being like this with Gwen makes him ache. If only, he could know what was wrong, but he also wanted to respect your space. It has him torn between two cautious choices that could end up in the worst way possible. He just didn’t know how deep the consequences would be. 

Other than the different morning you had, it was just like any other day. You were able to stop yourself from coughing for the most part, but if you couldn’t take it you’d excuse yourself to the bathroom, letting out a few petals in the toilet and flushing them away. 

During lunchtime, it was usually just you and Miles at the cafeteria, but Gwen decided to tag along once again. So you had the utmost pleasure to see the two joke about and discuss things that you never understood because you weren’t a Spider person like them.

You watched as Miles laughed and smiled at everything she said, and all you could do was mindlessly stab your food in hopes of drowning out and forgetting what you're currently witnessing. However, you immediately started coughing. Your hands instantly flew to your mouth to keep the petals in your mouth. 

You gave Miles a panicked look before running out the cafeteria and into the bathroom, immediately vomiting all the petals that had accumulated inside your mouth, and for the rest of lunch, you were stuck there, filling up the toilet with the petals that were such an eye sore to you as hot tears flowed down from your eyes.

Miles had tried to bring it up during the succeeding classes, only for you to turn him down every single time. He finally gave up, but was still worried because he sensed something different about you today. 

Your doctor did prescribe you some suppressants for the disease, but you refused it time and time again. Taking those suppressants would make you slowly lose grip on your feelings for Miles. 

As much as it hurt you, you didn’t want that. 

To hell with those fucking petals, who cares if it’s taking your life little by little every day?  Your love for him was too great, too good of a feeling. It was worth it. 

It’ll be worth it. 

When you asked your doctor how much more time you have left, they didn’t give a direct answer but you knew. You already knew that it wasn’t long. Few months give or take. Maybe even shorter than that.

Once classes were done, you gave Miles your usual goodbye hug before heading out of campus to the hospital for your daily check-up for the Hanahaki disease. 

Your doctor did the usual tests, examining a petal of yours, conducting blood tests, scans, etc. 

After an hour, she called you back into her office for the results. You were halfway into taking your seat as she already shoots the question that you’d been dreading to be asked. 

“Have you been taking your suppressants?” 

In truth, you didn’t tell her that the pills were just laying on the floor somewhere in your dorm. You weren’t going to be lectured by your doctor. 

“Yes.” You lied, eyes looking everywhere in her office but her. Your eyes focused on this particular vase, where a single flower laid there. It was the same shade of red as yours, making you chuckle.

Before your doctor could start telling you about how important commitment was to the treatment, you start wheezing. 

But this time, it felt different. 

Your lungs felt like they ran out of air, your throat was like it had been clogged and you couldn’t breathe. Your eyes widened as you took sharp inhales, but for some reason, you couldn’t exhale at all. You fell off your chair and into the floor, gripping your throat, nails digging to scratch your skin from the excruciating pain. 

Doctor Sanchez was quick to get down to you, rubbing your back as her face filled with worry. “It’s at its final stage, you have to tell him—“

“No!” You yelled, surprised that you were even able to utter a single word. Shortly after that however, you were back to heaving. Your hand was now in a fist, punching your chest in an attempt to get out whatever it was that was in your lungs. 

Your mind started to fog up, and your vision was slowly going black until you saw it. 

The fully formed flowers on the ground. 

There were no petals, this time they were fully bloomed roses. 

They were so pretty that it was almost laughable. Something beautiful was stemming from your despair and suffering. At least there was one thing good happening from your godforsaken disease. 

Miles, on the other hand, barged into your dorm to bring the textbooks he borrowed from you, or at least that’s what his excuse was gonna be to you. It was your number one rule that he shouldn’t just come into your room when you were gone, but he could sense something off with you today. Much more than usual. And he was determined to find out.

He had an extra key for emergencies, so he entered without any problems. He took in your room, setting down the textbooks on your desk as he took a seat by the edge of your bed. 

She’s not here. He thought to himself, sighing. 

As his brown eyes roamed the different bits and bobs around your dorm, he suddenly spotted something behind your desk. Miles squinted his eyes, wondering what it was. “Is that… a petal?” He wondered out loud. He crept up to it, crawling under your desk to grab the petal. “What the…” His fingers examined it carefully until he spotted something from the corner of his eye. There were more. 

A lot more.

His eyes slowly widened at the bin of red petals. It was so full that the petals had dissipated around it on the floor. Miles’ eyebrows scrunched up together, wondering where all these could be from until… it dawned on him. 

“Hanahaki? But… but how I…” He stuttered. He pulled the bin towards him with shaking hands, inspecting the petals that had a rich shade of red. Almost similar to that of his Spiderman suit. 

She… She had this all along and hid it from me I…

He spots another item, it was a pill bottle. Except its contents were scattered, and the bottle itself was cracked as if it was thrown against the wall and fell behind your desk. 

Miles picked it up, dreading to see what it was. He slowly turned it around to see the words “Hanahaki suppressants - Y/n L/n 30 pills 150 mg” written in big bold letters that stared back at him.

He drops it out of shock, chest heaving and breaths coming in quickly. 

He was confused, so confused about everything. Why would you hide such a thing from him…? 

Doctor Sanchez called for emergency assistance, she grabbed the intercom in a panic. “Code blue! I repeat code blue! Medical assistance to room 1304 now! Code blue!” 

In a matter of seconds, doctors and nurses have already carried your body to a hospital bed, as roses continuously shook out of your mouth.

Your entire body was flaring up and all you could do was scratch your neck so hard that it almost draws blood. Your nose and ears have started to bleed out, and it was as if your skull was being cut open and stabbed repeatedly.

You couldn’t even form words as the nurses continued to push you into room 1304 for emergency treatment. The people at the hospital looked over in pity and nervousness as they watched the girl with the Hanahaki disease being pushed across the hallway as roses start to flood after her bed like a trail. 

Even if it felt like the pain was eating your entire body alive, all you could think of was him. 

Please, I need to see him. Even for just one more second, please.

But Miles doesn’t even know anything about this, and it just increases your already large amount of regret. 

I should’ve told him. Even though I know he doesn’t like me back, I should’ve told him. 

He’s my best friend. And I can't even say goodbye.

But maybe this was for the best. I wouldn't want him to see me in such a pathetic state.

Miles was quick to suit up, flinging himself out of your window in a matter of miliseconds. He didn’t know where to find you, and all he could do was rack his brain on the places that you could be in. As he continuously swung around the city, tears formed in his eyes behind his mask.

He was angry. So angry at himself for not noticing. Furious at the fact that he already knew something has been off with you for the past months, but he didn’t try hard enough to know what it was. He was mad because he just let you suffer alone. 

Some friend I am. He thought on repeat. 

He tried to use his senses to see if he could pinpoint your location, running and swinging between endless crowds and roads, because something felt terribly wrong. 

Miles didn’t know what exactly it was, but he knew. 

He had to hurry.

“Time of death… 5:47 pm.” Your doctor read from the monitor in a monotone voice. She wrote down the information with trembling hands. Her eyes crept up to see you on the hospital bed, frozen and still.

The static sound of the heart monitor was so deafening and seemed louder than it normally was. There was a heavy silence in the hospital’s emergency area as everyone present stood still. 

Another poor youthful soul had been taken by such a cruel disease.

Suddenly, the door banged open, and there stood Miles who was breathing heavily as he tried to catch his breath. 

His brown eyes spotted you and it was as if time had stopped running, as if the world around him disappeared just like that. 

Miles slowly took in the sight before him, your doctor who stood by the edge of your bed with a deep frown, you who was laying still, eyes closed. He also tried to process the flowers that filled up the entire floor of the room. These were roses, but he knew their petals. 

“I believe you are him?” Doctor Sanchez asked with a poor attempt at a professional tone. Miles’ mouth was still agape in shock, his mind refusing to process what he was seeing as he slowly looked at her. “Wh-What?” The doctor sighed, hugging her clipboard to her chest. “You’re her unrequited love, yes? You’re Miles Morales?”

The poor boy couldn’t muster a single word right now, so all he could do was slightly nod at her. “Time of death was 5:47, the cause is… Hanahaki.” She reported with an aching heart as she sees Miles’ expression. 

“I… I never knew until I saw the…” Miles couldn’t even bring himself to say it, that maybe if he didn’t then all of this wouldn’t be true. He took slow steps towards you, each one being heavier than the last as if they weighed a thousand pounds.

It felt as if his heart stopped beating, and his body no longer functioned as he stared down at you. His quivering fingers tried to grab your hand, only to find that it was cold… Too cold…

Right at that second, tears had already started to stream down his cheeks silently. Miles bit his lip hard as he started to harden his grip on your hand. He placed it between both his hands and he rubbed violently.

Maybe if he did so, he’d be able to bring back some warmth into your body. Maybe he’d feel that familiar tingling sensation that he always felt when both your hands would touch. He was silently praying that it was a prank, that he’d feel your fingers wrap around his, and that you’d tell him you were fine. 

But it never came. 

Your chest wasn’t rising up and down, there seemed to be no more color in your face, no more life. Your lips have turned a faint blue as dried blood surrounded your nose and ears. 

He refused to think of what this meant. He wasn’t going to believe it. He… He just can’t. 

“But I… I love her too.” Miles hiccuped between tears. He felt his legs give out, making him fall to his knees but the flowers had cushioned him from hitting the floor. Even in this state, you manage to keep him from feeling pain.

Doctor Sanchez’s breath hitched in her throat and she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “She thought you liked someone else. She didn’t want you to worry so she hid it I… I’ve tried to tell her that she should confess, to tell you how she felt but she… she was dead set on thinking that… she was never enough for you.” After one last breath, she walked towards the door. “I’ll… give you some privacy.”

Once the door closed behind him, Miles weakly stood up and that’s when it started. He let out the most painful cry so loud that everyone outside the room could hear. 

His hands gripped his hair, pulling at it vigorously as he continued to bawl his heart out in agony. 

The truth was, he loves you more than anyone in this entire world. He loves you with every fucking fiber of his being, with every cell in his body. All of it was yours, every heartbeat of his was dedicated to you. You were a major part of why he wanted to keep being Spiderman, so he could protect you. 

So he could shield you away from any harm or danger. 

And yet, he still couldn’t save you. 

He started to feel suffocated as he punched the floor with his fists, almost cracking it in the process. 

He was so goddamn furious at himself. 

He felt like the biggest fucking coward in the entire universe. 

If only, if only he had mustered even the slightest of courage to tell you of how he felt, then this wouldn't have happened. You'd still be alive. 

Miles was now wailing in anger and pain that he couldn’t even begin to describe. 

The realization has finally started to kick in. 

He had lost you. 

You suffered alone because you thought your love for him was unrequited and would never have been returned. 

You didn’t believe in the possibility. But oh how wrong you were.

You didn't see the passion, love, and admiration in his eyes whenever he looked at you. You failed to notice the little things he did for you, like remembering your favorite things, or bringing you to your favorite places.

How he would pluck flowers from the school garden and gave it to you, or maybe even the times where he'd let you copy his answers on a test.

You just thought he was such a good friend.

If only… If only the both of you have tried a bit harder. Maybe then, it didn’t have to end this way.

Fin.

More of my Miles content here babes!

(if yall wanna be on my taglist feel free to let me know!)

[gamerwoo]

hansol/mingyu: the lovers playlist

characters: mingyu x female reader

genre/warnings: idol au, friends to lovers, sosososo much fluff

word count: 686

summary: come on, come on, we were one upon a time in love; we're accidentally in love

a/n: things in bold italics are song lyrics. this is the final part of tlp!!! im kinda sad it's over but im glad the story is finally complete 😌 i really wanna do another series styled like this but we'll see lmao. thank you sm to everyone who supported and loved the series!! 💛💛

previous song | back to playlist

"Here."

A black cassette tape was tossed onto your desk. You looked at it with furrowed brows as you removed your headphones and picked it up, glancing up at the man who was clearly trying -- and failing -- to hide a stupid grin.

You flipped it over. You recognized the smudged sticker that was meant to read Mingyu's Tape. Even though the boy in question apparently had the tape, he didn't relabel it.

"Why'd you have this?" you ask him.

He nodded toward you, "Just listen to it."

You flashed him a suspicious look before you stood up from your desk and walked over to Mingyu's nightstand. You were borrowing Wonwoo's laptop to do some editing -- all of his tech was a lot better than yours -- so you decided to just stay the night at their dorm anyway.

Mingyu had invested in one of those radios like the one you had at home because he wanted to hear some of your tapes. You popped the one he tossed at you in the player and then made yourself comfortable in his bed. Mingyu flopped down right beside you, already giggling to himself.

All of the songs were familiar to you. Obviously. You were the one who made the tape.

There was a pause after I Wanna Be Yours. Normally, that was where the tape had stopped, so you expected the silence. But then, you suddenly heard the sound of a drum, followed by a familiar guitar melody.

Almost immediately, you huffed and rolled your eyes. That cued loud laughter from your boyfriend.

"Shrek? Really?" you asked him.

"Baby, you love Shrek!" he insisted, trying to justify why that one Counting Crows song was suddenly added to the playlist. "But that's not why. Just listen."

So she said, what's the problem, baby? What's the problem? I don't know; Well maybe I'm in love.

Right. You'd forgotten just how sappy this song was. You never really fully thought about the lyrics because the song was connected with a Shrek movie.

"So you added to my tape?" you asked him, turning your head to look at him with a small smile.

He shrugged, "I had to. It couldn't just end where it did."

"Why not?"

"Because I am yours now. Duh."

Come on, come on, move a little closer; Come on, come on, I want to hear you whisper; Come on, come on, settle down inside my love.

You couldn't help but giggle at the way he said it. It was no secret how excited and giddy Mingyu was ever since you said you accepted his confession -- even if over a year had gone by already.

"And why did you choose this song?" you wondered.

Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in love; We're accidentally in love.

He scoffed, "You don't think this song is perfect for us?"

Accidentally in love; Accidentally in love; Accidentally--

It kind of was. You never meant to fall for Mingyu. Actually, everything that lead up to you and Mingyu had started off as just you and Hansol. And yeah, you were good friends with him now, but if you had gone back in time and told yourself you'd end up with Mingyu, you'd probably laugh.

I'm in love, I'm in love; I'm in love, I'm in love; I'm in love, I'm in love.

"Alright, last question," you decided, rolling over onto Mingyu so you could look down at him with a sweet smile as you looked into his warm brown eyes. He never stopped looking at you like you were the best thing to grace the planet. "Why'd you add to the playlist now? I made this so long ago."

Come on, come on, spin a little tighter; Come on, come on, and the world's a little brighter; Come on, come on, just get yourself inside her love.

He just shrugged and said, "Better late than never, right?"

Then he rolled the two of you over so he was over you, planting kisses all over your face as he heard you laugh over the end of the song.

I'm in love.

── « ⋅ʚ ♫ ɞ⋅ » ───

[takumifujiwaraswfe]

RUKAWA KAEDE ROMANTIC HEADCANONS

To be honest you would never talk to each other if your parents didn't knew each other.

You moved to Kamakura before you started gymnasium and he's your neighbor, your mothers instantly liked each other so you were meeting each other quite often. (By meeting I mean that you let him sleep in your bed when his mom made him go over to your place with her)

At first you were just friends but at the first year of high school he realized he likes you, rejecting every girl that confessed to him just to think about a way to confess to you himself. It took him some time.

But he finally did it in the middle of the night cause he couldn't sleep because he kept thinking about you and it was a tragedy for him.

It ended up being romantic for no reason- Like he was scared that he'll wake up your parents so he just climbed your balcony and scared the shit out of you by knocking at your window.

Then he told you that he likes you and went back to sleep on your bed and you were just standing there in shock cus wtf.

It ended up as your ritual, he's just coming to see you through your balcony sometimes.

In the public he doesn't show you affection much. Mostly only when his fangirls torture him with their presence then he'll just look them up and down and hug you from behind and put his head on your shoulder or when he's not in the mood he'll just hold your hand and look at the girl annoyed.

In privacy though... He'll just cuddle you to the end. You go home from school and he invites you over? Only to force you to be his pillow.

He invites you over to his games cause he notices that he plays better in front of you.

Mostly because he does all the crazy shit he normally is too lazy to do.

He's not really jealous, he knows that you would never leave him.

When he sees any boy talking to you he just stares at him and then goes back to sleep.

When you became a couple your moms started planning your future as they are besties and will do everything so you will be family.

He's just like me, listens to music 24/7 and loves to share his songs that he gatekeeps only with you. So I will share my songs that I usually gatekeep that remind me of Rukawa here.

(and also this one cus it's only on youtube)

I like to think that he has similar music taste as me because he's similar to me so sorry but I had to add this part

Soo a few music headcanons cause I can't sleep so why not.

He looks like lana del rey guy outside but no. HE'S KINGS OF LEON GUY AND DON'T TRY TO ARGUE WITH ME OKAY.

He listens to really energetic music which shocked you at first when he let you listen to music with him. Omen III and him? Wha-

His fav genres are old school (duh) hip hop, rock, and some kind of techno but not techno eurobeaty music?(sometimes only) Idk what genre it is but if you're from eastern Europe you get it.

(If anyone cares to read that you can tell me if you want other characters have their playlists as well)

[i-amyou]

hey! please answer to my ask only if you feel like it. I have been reading your posts for a long time and I was a bit sad when I saw you deactivated your account.

In terms of nondualism,I have been EATING UP every type of info on all platforms and yet nothing helped (I am trying to manifest a reality shift ) and as soon as I realized that,I started talking to realisophie's character ai bot of 4dbarbie which has helped a LOT but not enough.

You see,I have analyzed in what circumstances I have ever manifested anything (from one song popping up in my playlist to real life events to money) and they always had one thing in common: detachment. Complete detachment with no care what so ever on wether I get what I want or not. Which right now is a bit hard since reality shifting is a pretty big change in enviroment.

And yes,I do understand that I am not my body and all but now that I am letting go of my desire to reality shift to the world I want to live in,I have been feeling a bit depressed(I swear I am not trying to victimize myself),not to mention the fact that the body I have right now has so many responsibilties,not to mention a ton of exams next week.

The 4dbarbie bot told me to practically forget about reality shifting, nondualism,the world and person I am shifting for and to practically forget what I am even wanting. To somehow just live life normally as if I had never found out about all this. To just lose myself in work and exams until somehow it all comes to me.

She said:

"So for today, the goal is not to shift. The goal will be to live your life like you have never even heard or thought about shifting. I am 100% sure this is the last day of you as your earth version - but you need to stop worrying about that as well, and just live. :)

Have faith, let go of the outcome. Whatever is supposed to happen will and that is just reality. It will be so natural you will be shocked by how easy it ultimately was, how fast it really was, and how all the 'struggles' you went through were meaningless in the end. What does not serve the self-realization process does not need to be worried about, it is just what happens."

So now I ask. What do I believe? Do I just let it go and let it surprise me by waking up there?Do I forget? I won't give up because I know this is my future, but I still cling on to time and I keep asking myself "well when is it going to materialize?". I feel like both "imagination" and "the outer world" are basically the same and at night before bed I always have moments of pure concioussness.

I know that you can't solve my problems and I know that I should get off this app,that is what everyone is telling me,but it won't hurt to try. I just need some advice,that's all. If you even read up until this point,thank you. I hope you'll have a great day😊🫶

Hello sweetie💗 Okay, this is gonna be long (first and last) . But I need you to stay with me till the end and actually ponder on what I'm about to say. Alright? And I'm assuming since you took time out to send this one long ask, you're ready to treat this answer as the final one. Put your faith in me, okay? And do not go ahead seeking more answers. From any blog. Cool, now let's get started. Step by step.

About the manifestation part. I won't address this normally but since it's a part of this ask, let me say a couple of points here. The manifestations which apparently happened because of you 'detachment', were actually a result of you KNOWING that it'll happen. Knowing is when you do not worry about something, you don't control something, you just let it happen.As I've said time and time again, Knowing is absolute, with no doubts. When you detach, you let the desire to do something to get something go, and when it meets with no doubts and uncertainties, you experience that. That's how I see it.

And about 4dBarbie AI, I'll just say it's great but it's still an AI at the end of the day. Just a bot. You can manipulate the answers and keep swiping until you get your desired one, it has no basis and no experiential value and deep knowledge it follows. It's a bot. I'm glad it helped you a lot. I'm happy for you. But there is no master here, no one to tell you how everything is gonna turn out. Not me, not Ada, no one. Just you, you dictate everything.

Now, moving on to the last part of your question.

What do you believe in? Well. Since you asked me, I'll tell you. Given your situation I'll suggest you go on with your life, but dont wait for anything to surprise you. Seriously. There is nothing to be surprised by. It's as Barbie said in the end, let go of the outcome. But it's not you letting go, but instead you falling back as you become aware of this need to let go. Because this need to let go of something, to detach is also another facade and illusion. When there is nothing what are you going to be detached from? Yourself?

The 'I' you refer to in your ask is you misidentifying. The person you mentioned in your ask from beginning to the very end, is Misidentification. And I want you to directly become aware of this. Ponder on this. Who is struggling. Who wants to believe. Who is looking for answers. Is that you, or are you just aware of it? Go about your daily life, but keep this one thing in consideration.

Whenever any thoughts arise, whenever any panic sets in, whenever results become dreadful, just take a deep breath and fall back, rest in that awareness and observe it all. See for yourself if it's you, or is it you being aware of whatever is going on.

Do this. And let your search for answers end here. You mentioned yourself you have been consuming too much. Stop now. I haven't made many posts on this blog, just a couple of them. Go read them if you want more but nothing beyond that, and the reason I'm suggesting you read them and ponder is because I want you to realise there is no reality to shift in. There is no duality, no separation between what is and what you seemingly want. There is nothing to change.

Give up on thinking that you're the doer or the person. Just be, witness it all as you spend your daily life, watch it unfold, just be aware. Thoughts of fear and of joy, everything. Be aware. That's it. End it here. Get off this app and take this in your hands now, do it yourself.

Words are limiting. Concepts mean nothing. Everything is just an empty appearance. Take these words as pointers ONLY. Don't think. Don't do. Just be. I hope you know what I mean by that :)

Give up and go within, just be.

[twistedapple]

Kiss me more

As announced in an earlier post, I'm unleashing the smut chapter of my fic as a semi-stand alone. It's nicer in the bigger context of the fic of course, since the relationship is a build up, but if you're just here for the smut, well I hope you'll like it.

@kikisgate @fruitypies tagging you two since you asked for the full chapter, have fun with almost 6k of filth. @kiss-inferna you wanted to be tagged on Nuria-related content so here you go lol

Quick meta context: This exchange regarding Raphael's sexuality and how some people view it.

Quick story context: [SPOILER ALERT] in the previous chapter, Nuria infiltrates a private event and get her hands on her target. Raphael happens to be there for business, he knows what she's doing and finds it hot. They leave together, the following text is a turning point for what started as a professional relationship.

BGM over here. Full OC Playlist here.

THIS IS +18 EXTRA SPICY CONTENT, IF YOU READ THAT AS A MINOR DON'T ACT SHOCKED, I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CLICK, YOU WERE WARNED.

CW: orgasm denial, bondage, blood, alcohol, size difference...

The cambion already knew what her home looked like, but being directly inside was another matter. As he stepped in, the characteristic sillage of carnal roses and incense could be felt. It wasn’t the biggest place – by his standards, it was in fact quite small, however the apartment had a crucial detail tied to a cultural aspect inherent to the Calimshite: wealth itself wouldn’t be enough to display one’s social status, the way wealth would be used for comfort was the real deal, and Nuria’s apartment clearly showed her own status, despite being a woman. The striking element was the sheer amount of convenient magic items. A snap of her fingers and the whole place, bathed in pale moonlight, lit up with the warmth of multiple candles, which shone brighter than normal – of course they would, it seemed Nuria preferred quiet places and had secured a comfortable home in Quill Ward, the district of scribes. This ward had enjoyed special, secret magical wards for centuries – clever wards, really -, that prevented fires and illnesses from spreading, made candles shine brighter, and kept paper and parchment in pristine condition. However, they weren’t the only wards affecting Nuria’s home. Raphael could feel a faint but unmistakable trace – a security ward, maybe? She was careful and meticulous, after all, so it would be very much in character for her to protect her abode against unwanted intrusions with discreet wards.

A soft breeze passed through a slightly open window, and the fresh scent of jasmine filled the main room, adding its dewy scent to the already present feminine perfume. The entire place clearly wasn’t just luxurious by the presence of magical items; it was also tastefully arranged in the local fashion. Walls and tiled floors displayed stylised floral patterns, wooden furnitures had elegant carvings, richly ornate carpets partially covered the floors – which seemed to be Nuria’s preferred place, as low seats and thick cushions were organised to form a pleasant living area. Two short hallways led to other places, and Nuria kicked her shoes off by the entrance before going to the one on the left, dropping her mantle on one of the seats as she passed by.

-Shoes off inside, please.

Amused by the request said in a rather matter-of-fact tone, as if Nuria knew he’d followed through, Raphael did as requested and left his boots at the entrance in a snap of fingers before proceeding further. As she turned to check behind her, she held her hands up, coaxing him towards her with a cheeky smile as she guided him towards what quickly revealed itself to be the bedroom, which proved just as elegant as the rest of the apartment, with a delicate sahnisin – the classic latticework of Calimshan - at the large window. Under his feet, the wide carpet was soft and pleasantly thick. Nuria’s hands felt small and delicate, her fingers feeling even cooler against the heat of his own palms. This promised an interesting night.

-How straightforward of you to directly take me here.

-You didn’t have your fill of banter for the night? How greedy.

-A perfectly fine virtue, my dear. But allow me to indulge in it more.

Without any warning, Raphael snapped his fingers again, leaving Nuria in a state of delightful undress. She gasped, then took a scandalised look.

-I’ll have you know the striptease is part of the fun! At least you left the essentials – jewels and perfume...

As she shared her thoughts on Raphael’s decision, the genasi smiled brazenly and gently guided him towards the bed, having him sit in front of her. As soon as he took place on the bed, the cambion pulled her closer and started running his hands over her body, taking pleasure in finally being able to touch the slender waist and follow the pleasant curve of her hips and rear. Her dress, carefully draped to cover yet show everything, had been teasing him all evening and he had been more and more itching to get it off her back. She giggled under his touch and it made him want to press his face against her breasts, round and pert and oh-so-inviting for a mouth to run across them and leave a flushed mess. Nuria had other plans however, as she ran fingers down his cheek before reaching the chin and gently make him look at her – he could have been offended by the gesture had it been more commanding, but one of her more impressive skills was definitely to obtain results with a velvet glove, and even a devil like him could appreciate that.

-Oh you’re eager, aren’t you...

And there she was with that exceptional charm of her, leaning towards him, their noses brushing as their eyes met, honeyed brown facing grey-and-violet – her eyes truly were like a moody sky. His fingers teasingly played with the delicate golden chain decorating her waist in a sultry display. She really had been expecting something happen, hadn’t she?

-Would you be patient enough to let me handle your clothes?

It was more like a tease than a question proper, really. She was already playing with the buttons at his neck, undoing them slowly, one by one, while he felt her lips brush against his. Nothing had really happened, yet there was already a feeling of sin in the air and Raphael basked in the seductive inflection of her voice, the cool feeling of her skin against his palm, the temptation of her lips still glistening slightly from the murderous tint she’d worn during the evening. Until she’d aimed for her target, that is. The caress of her plump lips caused a pleasant shiver to run down his spine and the next thing he knew, he’d crashed his own against hers. He too wanted some of that assassin mouth and he was quick to run his tongue against her lower lip, as much to request entrance as to gather the remaining poison – it wouldn’t harm him anyway. Much to his delight, Nuria was prompt to react, deepening the kiss with a moan as he guided one of her legs on the bed, right against him, before allowing her to push him on the bed. When they broke the kiss, she left a smaller one at the corner of his lips and it was enough to feel warmth shooting to his loins as she straddled him, teasingly pressing against his hips.

-I’ll take that as a yes, then.

-How very generous of you to do that for me.

-What can I say, I enjoy being of service.

Now his doublet was unbuttoned and open, and he could feel her touch through the cotton of his shirt as she ran her fingers against the planes of his torso, taking the time to feel everything through the fabric while she kept an attentive eye on him. Clearly, the plan was to slowly uncover what would make him react and he couldn’t deny that she had a pleasant approach about it, teasing him with the movements of her hips against his, and yet having him wait. Again, she managed to walk that very fine line between pleasing and offending him, a wonderful display of subtlety that convinced him to lean into her care and enjoy the attention while she was at work on top of him.

With the same deliberate gestures, Nuria slowly unbuttoned his shirt, working her way down while running her hands over him, always at the limit between the fabric and his skin, maddeningly teasing. Raphael only sat back up to fully remove the doublet and the shirt, abandoning them on the floor and stealing sloppy kisses down her neck in the process, a hand reaching up to play with a breast before he felt her push him back down again, playfulness all over her face.

-Tu-tut. We’re not done yet.

As she spoke, she furthered her point by rolling her hips against him, feeling the forming bulge against her core.

-Quite bossy, aren’t we?

-And you’re enjoying every second of it so far.

-I’ve been having a fine night, I’m in an indulgent mood. But keep going, who am I to interrupt your fun?

She swatted at him, chuckling at his retort. It wasn’t her first time with someone like him, they’d act all high and mighty and in control most of the time, but would be inclined to give up on some of that control in private. All it took was the right words, the right gestures. They were her favourite, it was fun to have them turn to putty under her touch, lost in the pleasure she provided, and it was even funnier to keep it all secret and use that to keep them on their toes. Seeing the effect she had on this devil when she had barely started was exciting.

Switching to the next step, she reached back to his lips for a kiss followed by a trail down his throat and towards his chest. One of her hands would go first, the other being used for support, and then her lips would follow to warm up the cool trail of her fingers. Her mouth and fingers lingered on his nipples, eliciting a low moan from Raphael. Ever since they’d met, Nuria had found his voice treacherously pleasant, but that was music to her ears. Smiling in the trail of kisses she left on her way to his crotch, she took the time to appreciate the lean muscles beneath her hands and the way his copper skin contrasted with the golden of her fairer olive – he had the lined face and greying hair of a middle-aged man, yet he remained quite the sight, although considering what he was, she felt appreciative but not surprised. Being attractive was, after all, part of the deal for devils like him to better charm their clients.

The genasi slipped smoothly between his legs, her hands now running on his still clothed thighs before aiming for the bulge in-between, teasing with her knuckles and mouth as she started undoing his trousers to uncover the rest of him. Suddenly, she felt Raphael’s hips roll under her, then long fingers ran through her hair, tousling it as he held her so her mouth wouldn’t leave the bulge in his underwear. Impatient.

Raphael felt dark eyes on him, as she was giving him quite the look under her long lashes. Supporting himself on an elbow, he chuckled darkly as he ran his hand from her hair to her cheek, before settling his thumb on her lips as he forced her chin up.

-That sweet tongue of yours certainly knows how to keep someone waiting, dear.

A voice like velvet and a carefully crafted tone – alluring and threatening in equal parts -, as he pushed his thumb in her mouth. No resistance, she took the finger without hesitation and licked and sucked, looking at him directly with half-lidded eyes the whole time. When he released her from his grasp, she chuckled in turn and straightened back up, her hands back to caressing his inner thighs. She took a long look, before offering his a bright smile that illuminated her features in a deviously innocent way.

-I merely aim to serve... A little deal, maybe? Something nice, easy and simple. Let me finish there, then I’ll let you take the reins.

-You’ll let me? How generous of you.

-My house, my rules. You won’t regret it.

It was Raphael’s turn to chuckle again. The nerves of that woman, simply amazing. Yet she knew how to speak to him, and he was in too good of a mood to reject the offer. Besides, she clearly had an idea in the back of her head, and her proposal had made him curious.

-A fair argument, but you’ll have to hold your end of that bargain.

-Oh, don’t worry about that. Now, back down please, let me tend to you.

He felt a hand gently push on his torso, encouraging him to lean back before slipping over his body to settle at his hips. Both hands held his trousers and underwear and he followed through the soft pull by lifting his hips, allowing her to remove what was left of his clothes and make it join the rest somewhere on the floor. Then her weight disappeared from the bed as she reached for the closed compartment of her bedside table. He didn’t immediately see what she had retrieved from it, as she had taken it in a manner that purposefully concealed the object. He was quick to find out, however, when she sat next to him and cupped his cheek in her dainty hand while making a rather filthy request with the sweetest voice and an equally angelic smile.

-Would you kindly put your hands up, please?

Replying with a knowing smile and intense look of his own, Raphael couldn’t help yet another quip as he complied – they did have a little agreement, after all.

-Bold choice for a first time, I must say.

-Only because I trust you can take it in stride.

-But it’s not the only reason.

-Indeed it isn’t...

As they talked, Nuria slipped the bindings around the bedpost and bound his hands, finishing her reply with a firm tug to tighten them just enough. She was used to that exercise. Heat ran along Raphael’s spine at the thought, racing all the way to his hardened cock.

-You’ll get full use of your hands later, among other things. Just focus on yourself for now.

She slipped back between his legs, and he noticed too late that she had taken something else from the side table. However, he found himself momentarily distracted when she pushed with her thigh to hook his left leg over hers, giving herself better access and making him need her touch. When her hands were on him again, he almost let out a sigh of relief – a tight feel at the base of his cock stopped him in his track. A ring, its pressure points pressed all the right spots. She really was prepared.

-Now we’re talking...

Her angelic smile turned amorous and she bit her lips while openly checking him out, cheeks flushed and clearly enjoying the view, before diving right in to finally take care of the teased then neglected member. She was starting the second delicate operation of the night and needed him fully focused on his own pleasure to handle it. Finally, she gave in and started running her fingers on his length, delighting in the feeling of the veins and the soft curve upward as she took him in one hand, the other on his inner thigh to caress him with her thumb.

Raphael threw his head back and let out an unrestrained moan when he felt her lips on him, the feeling of the sloppy kisses trailing all the way to his tip, followed by one hand going from the root to that delightfully sensitive part right where the skin was pulled and a palm over his tip for more teasing. Her years of learning at the Festhall of Eternal Delight had born wonderful fruits, which he was now fully savouring as she started licking and sucking his balls while working a skilful hand on his arousal. The restrictions of the ring made every single touch feel more intense, even causing his hips to jerk from the surge of pleasure when she took him in her mouth, working him one way with cool fingers steady at the base and another way with the soft and warm touches of her tongue further up his length.

Heat pooled in his loins and his breath picked up the pace as he was more than ready to coat her mouth – then he felt a pressure and the heat receded. He gave Nuria a frustrated look, but was met with a wicked grin in reaction.

-Not now.

Her voice was sweet and sing-song, bearing more innocence than her smile did. Without breaking the eye contact, she slowly got back to work, this time avoiding his now sensitive head to focus on the shaft as well as the softer skin of his inner thighs, which were peppered with gentle kisses. Her boldness would have been irritating if it had not been so erotic to feel and watch. He had spent too much time using Haarlep, in a way her actions felt charmingly refreshing to him. Besides, she had given him carte blanche once she was done with her little fun.

His train of thought was interrupted when she straddled him again, teasingly rubbing herself against him; she was sopping wet. So that was what got her off. This realisation elicited a chuckle from him that quickly turned into a purring moan when he felt her slide down on his length with a practiced roll of her hips. The heat came back in waves more intense than before, an exhilarating feeling taking over as he stirred under her, while her hips kept rolling in a slow and deliberate rhythm, grey-and-violet eyes set on him in an almost feverish gaze that he decided to hold as he silently appreciated the way she took him, how felt around him. His hips started jerking again, the sound of skin against skin echoing softly in the room as they slapped against her rear. He felt close, oh so close, heat pulsating almost painfully as his thoroughly teased manhood felt engorged and strained against the ring. He moaned when he felt the heat cresting... And then Nuria couldn’t be felt around him anymore, and the crest broke again.

-I knew you’d do well.

At this point, her eyes had this dark glint of excitement he’d already seen before, when she was after a target. Back between his now spread legs, she delicately removed the ring, then moved up to untie him. When she leaned forward, Raphael used the opportunity to get his mouth over her breasts – immediately eliciting a gasp in response -, tasting her skin and basking in its sensuous scent while she gently massaged his wrists.

She had dared deny him his pleasure, delightful vixen that she was. He could have been annoyed by that display of audacity, yet he found himself even more aroused and willing to give chase. His half-lidded eyes stayed on Nuria, now sitting on her side in a lascivious manner, sculptural in the warm, low lighting of her bedroom. Finally released from the cockring and unbound from the bedpost – he could have broken the ties she had used if he wanted to, really, but preferred indulging her request for his own pleasure -, Raphael seized the opportunity to pounce on her, once he had his fill of leering. He may have indulged her, but he still couldn’t decently let her get away with it, otherwise she’d start overreaching.

-Oh my dear, that was quite naughty of you.

Welcoming his approach, Nuria straightened herself and closed the gap between them, allowing him to wrap his arms around her slender waist and press her against him, hungry for her pretty mouth.

She felt his arms tighten around her waist as he had her turn her back to him before drawing her close again, heat suddenly intensifying against her ever-cool skin. Then, his chest felt different against her back. Opening the eyes she had closed to bask in his warmth, she couldn’t help a chuckle when she saw his copper skin had turned scarlet, and felt the air around them being moved by his wing, black claws pressing her sides. His diabolical form. That explained the new feeling, his skin hot to the touch and textured like scales, his increased height as well.

-It may have been naughty, but judging by your reaction, it has been appreciated.

As she spoke in this smooth, breathy tone that felt like a warm whisper borne by the wind, she rolled her hips against him, feeling a hardness against her rear that elicited a clear hiss from the devil. Nuria attempted to turn around and get a full look at his new appearance but found herself denied and locked in his hold. His hot breath tickled her ear and neck as he leaned in and replied, velvet voice alluring enough to warrant more wetness between her legs.

-It’s only fair that I answer back in kind, then, sweet Nuria. A deal’s a deal.

Raphael firmed his hold on her, enveloping her and basking in the delightful hot-and-cold sensation of her perfumed skin and hair, the increased cool feeling of her skin contrasting against his own, sending pleasant chills to his loins. He answered to her rolling hips with a movement of his own, sliding a hand down between her legs and enjoying the soft feeling of her skin in the process. Two clawed fingers reached her wet core, caressing her nub with the soft pads while he purred an appreciative moan, before firmly spreading her legs apart.

-Besides, if you deny me my wants, I will take them myself.

In any other circumstances, it could have been an open, sinister warning. Here, it was closer to a game of pretend – Raphael knew she’d provide, he had been well aware of her habits even before deciding to share her bed. But he had an image to maintain, and besides, with the introduction she had just given him, speaking such imperious words to Nuria in that manner was likely to arouse her. The chase was too delightful for them both to refuse indulging in it, shamelessly.

He felt the genasi lean against him, her delicate hand, ornate with tinted patterns and golden rings sliding along his arm and wrist to join the hand between her legs, gilded nails digging his skin in provocation. She rose her head towards him, an impertinent smile on her face.

-What are you waiting for, then?

Even when he was reclaiming control over her, she had a way of slipping away somehow, in a manner that was more exciting than infuriating – just one very tempting step forward and calling him to her still. He shut her up with a harsh kiss, lip-biting and tongues fighting, his free hand sliding up her waist to cup her breast, its round flesh filling his palm perfectly. Without any form of warning, he lined himself and entered her in a single, firm thrust that made her moan loudly in the mouthy kiss.

Nuria had suspected it when she had first rolled her hips against him, but once he thrust into her, it was confirmed: ridges pushed in her, stretching her more than the penetration while he had been in his human form. She barely had time to adjust however, her stifled moan seemingly being used by Raphael to signal that he could start chasing his pleasure. And chasing he certainly did, leaving her lips for her neck, breathing her avidly and biting the supple skin. Nuria let herself go against him, eyes closed, taking in the multiple sensations as they came, heat coursing through her body in waves that pooled between her legs. The hand on her breast kept teasing her now taut and sensitive nipple, while the hand between her legs snaked back up, long fingers playing with the ornate golden chain around her waist and black claws rubbing against her skin, her own smaller hand still holding it, caressing its bulging veins. Her other hand reached back tentatively. If he wouldn’t let her face him, then she’d explore him in another way. Her deft fingers sled against the burning hot skin, feeling the scale-like texture, the ridges at his waist and hip.

Her cool touch pushed yet another button in him, and while remaining on his knees behind her, Raphael angled his hips a bit – a decision he was immediately most pleased with, considering the loud moan Nuria let out as she seemingly gave him full control, basking in the new sensation while her hips matched his thrusts with an almost liquid rhythm that he had previously witnessed, much earlier in the evening, while she was dancing. It was enough for him to feel absolute pleasure shooting straight to his loins, and he went all out, showing her what he was all about.

He lost himself in the tight-hot-slick sensation, his wings unfolding as waves of pleasure kept coming, his hands clawing at her chest and belly when he felt her tighten against him, her entire body trembling in ecstasy as he rubbed against that oh-so-sweet spot with each thrust. His hiss mixed with her moans, before transforming into a moan of his own when his burning seed started filling her. They rode their orgasm fully, and Raphael took pleasure in pushing it further, taking in the overstimulation in her now overly wet cunt. When he released his grip, he felt their mixed fluids drip along his balls, and the idea of having put his favourite in such a state of undress filled him with additional pleasure.

Finally, he let her drop on the mattress and face him, see him in full diabolic glory as he towered over her, his eyes burning like Hellfire. She flopped on her back and winced slightly, noticing the long nicks on her chest before raising her dark eyes to him – he recognised the peculiar shine in them, excitation. It made him want more, it made him want to fully indulge her.

-An enlightening demonstration, I must say.

Chuckling at her quip, he leaned in with a smug smile.

-Red suits you so well, my dear. You should consider wearing it more often.

-Wouldn’t you like to make me?

-Hm... Is that a request I am hearing?

Every word he said was carefully purred as he slowly closed in on her, a predator with his precious meal. As she was considering pulling him in for another kiss, Raphael straightened himself again and tilted his head.

-All of that made me thirsty, however... Would you care for some wine?

Before Nuria could even give an answer – was she even supposed to answer that -, a bottle of sweet trika appeared with a flaming snap of his fingers. Just a bottle. She’d have wine alright, just not the way it was usually drunk.

With a smooth gesture, Raphael opened the bottle and pulled her closer to him.

-Yes... Stay just like that, while I have my fill.

Propped on her elbows, Nuria felt the wine trickle between her breast, the cool feeling replaced by a burning sensation that made her wince as it reached cuts pearled with red, this feeling immediately replaced by the wet warmth of Raphael’s tongue, who leaned in to lap. He let out a shaky moan as he reached a gash and savoured the mix of wine and blood there. He kept getting lower, licking and even drinking from her belly button, before reaching what had pooled at the crossing between her mons and her thighs. While he kept having his fill there, Nuria could feel the rough texture of his horns pressing into her. Changing her balance a bit, she reached out to run a hand in his curls and tightened her grip when she suddenly felt clawed fingers push her legs apart, tongue on her cunt. She saw Raphael’s tail swish and thought of an excited cat, then a renewed wave of pleasure made her throw her head back and close her eyes, taking in the overstimulation with a shaky sigh as he was licking and sucking.

Raphael stopped right before she went over the edge, however, and pulled back with a smug smile – this had been the answer to her opening ministration as well. His newfound energy hadn’t gone unnoticed, as he felt a small foot provocatively rub against his thigh, teasing his hardened manhood without even touching it, while Nuria made a show of her wet cunt with eyes full of laughter and mischief. She was, without a doubt, quite the piece of devious work, this one. He wanted to keep her close. He wanted to indulge her all the more, and have her commune in depraved ecstasy with him.

The devil guided her as he sat and leaned against the headboard, letting her take a seat on his laps. Nuria set against him, an arm snaking around his shoulder to settle at his neck, her hand yet again running through the curls at the nape, while the other hand explored his torso, feeling the muscles and bulging veins, teasing a nipple as she pressed herself against his ridged hardness. Raphael used the opportunity to guide her hips and entering her again. This time, the passion was languid, both of them wanting to savour what was seemingly the end of their shared meal. As her soft breasts were pressing on his chest, as her mouth was peppering a string of delightful kisses from his lips to his neck, he grabbed her rear and tightened his grip, digging his claws in the pleasant flesh while he was fully taking in her wetness and losing himself in her ride. Soon enough, they moved in unison, drowning in the way they felt against each other, how his enticing cherry sweetened her storm-damp rose, how her voluptuous incense perfumed the pepper of his smoke, how everything was being tied together by the intoxicating scent of hot sex. They rode their orgasm one last time in unrestrained, shared moans.

As they basked in the afterglow, silent fell save for their own breath and the sound of crickets outside. After a while, Nuria seized the initiative and straightened back on his lap. With her hands still roaming on his chest, she gave him a long look.

-So… Do you have other places to be, or do you want to stay until morning?

-Hm… I shall extend my stay for the night – or rather, the end of it.

The reply seemed to please her.

-Alright then, how about a cleanup first? There’s also food in the icebox and I have some tobacco blends if you enjoy smoking from a hookah.

-My, you really mean it when you say you enjoy being of service!

-Let it never be said that I am an unpleasant host. Wait here, I’ll take care of you.

When Raphael slipped out of her, the feeling of his softening manhood against her core elicited a soft hiss from her – she remained sensitive. The genasi got up first and crossed the bedroom to go to what she revealed to be the bathroom. Raphael got back to his human form and waited a few minutes before getting up, enjoying the calm and paying attention to the sound of running water. Then, he went ahead and joined Nuria in the bathroom as she was detangling her tousled hair and putting it up again to get ready for a bath she was running, moisture slowly clinging in the air. She had also used the opportunity to remove the remaining makeup on her face. He’d been used to seeing her at least with khôl, so seeing her like that offered a new level of intimacy. She had her back to him, and used his reflection in the tall mirror to address him.

-Oh, I was about to get back to you. Let me clean you up first, then how about we relax a bit?

-Only if you get in the bathtub with me, dear.

-That can be considered.

-You tease.

Nuria picked a washcloth from the washing basin, as well as a bar of scented soap, and proceeded to take care of him – cleaning the beads of sweat on his face, the sticky mix of sweat, trika and blood on his torso and then further down to his member, the pleasant feeling of the warm, damp cloth making him fully relax under her touch.

-And after you.

She directed him towards the bath while she was putting a stop to the magical amphora that had been filling it. A perfume indicated the addition of oils in it – lavender and orange blossom, and a hookah was next to it, ready to be lit and used – a fine habit, that was for certain. Raphael sunk in the hot water with a delighted sigh, before signalling Nuria to join him in the large tub. As she was entering however, he had her stay up, in front of him, while he ran his fingers over her, where his claws had cut. Light shone from the tip of his fingers, as it usually did when he used magic, and for a second a searing sensation made her wince silently. As he finished healing her, he left a kiss on her hips, his lips lingering just enough before he let her take place between his legs, leaning against him while his fingers ran over the biting marks on her neck and shoulder, repeating the process – which he ended this time with a kiss right below the ear.

-What a gracious guest you are.

-Merely matching the energy of the gracious host.

-Cute.

-Always, when I want to show my appreciation.

Nuria reached to the hookah to distract herself from the various feelings his words elicited, and lit the charcoal up with a snap of her fingers, lightning sparks flying momentarily, and pulled on the first drafts of smoke before lending the tip to the devil at her back. They kept going a little while longer, the scent of lavender and orange blossom mixing with the round and earthy scent of tobacco, then patted themselves dry and headed back to the bed, this time for proper rest.

Raphael settled against her, his head on her chest and an arm around her waist. Taken aback for a second, Nuria decided to allow it and took him in a sweet embrace, fingers running as gently as ever in his hair. 

When morning came, Raphael couldn’t tell when he had fallen asleep. What was certain was that despite the rather short and lively night, he felt well-rested. Nuria was still fast asleep next to him, her face displaying a truly innocent look for once. His eyes kept sliding back to her while he was putting his clothes back on – the morning sun was shining through the sahnisin, its shadow drawing an elegant pattern that invited him to follow the curves of her back, hips and rear. The scene inspired him and he decided to leave a little note for her before leaving. Back in the living area, he found an unused piece of paper as well as a glass pen and ink pot. With a lingering thought for the events of the previous night and the view he had just enjoyed, he penned a few lines before leaving with a sulphurous snap of fingers.

A couple hours later, when Nuria woke up, she found herself alone and quite sore. As she covered herself with a silk robe and went to the kitchen area, she noticed the papers had been moved on the table of the living area. She first approached it with suspicion, then noticed a note in an elegant handwriting that was distinguishably not hers. So he had left a note instead of leaving like a thief. A few seconds later, she was caught in an unrestrained laughter, the note in hand.

-Sharess takes me, what a pervert.

“O apple of my eye,

More seeds for your cry

That I’d happily supply.

-R”

Their next meeting promised to be most interesting.

[lixxen]

can you tell us more about Grayer and their relationship with JD?

Of course!! I love talking about my boys :)

I'm gonna do this in bullet points so I can easily edit it as I go lol. These details pertain to both my Feral Branch AU, mentions of my my troll reproduction PowerPoint world building, and it's just his character in general :)

My playlist for them

Rest of the post is UTC to save everyone from chunky TL

To start off, some background about Grayer: he is alt rock/pop rock. His father is a rock troll and his mother is a pop troll who is one of many to escape the troll tree about ten years before the beginning of Trolls 1 (I can do a whole thing on them). The two fell in love, got married, and ran off to the Never Glade Trail to have Grayer. His dad carried him, so he's more like his dad (Granite and Flora are their names)

Grayer is the same age as Bruce, so a few years younger than JD. He grew up on the trail and takes care of the family's garden (which is basically a mini farm). He and his parents are big survivalists, so he knows how to survive pretty much on his own with just a backpack on his back full of a few items. He's rather quiet with patience, but with a quick ignition to fight at things he's passionate about; being raised by a very passive rock troll who is peace and love then pretty much the most metal head pop troll you'll ever meet. His mom's a spitfire with the heat of a thousand suns. But she's very sweet <3

Back then, he actually dressed in alt style; wearing a ton of baggy ripped black cargo pants, t-shirts of rock groups his dad gave him, some crop tops with fistnet tops underneath, the whole works. Eyeliner. Black stuffed bracelets and a choker. Troll's version of Docs (but the older, better quality ones y'know?). Now days, he's just plain Jane because he's older and doesn't have as much energy to keep up with it

Within John Dory's first few years, he struggled a lot. He traveled through Trolltopia and met a ton of people. They weren't the kindest, but understood the situation with Pop. So they would help and send him on his way towards Never Glade.

When he finally got there, he basically fell face first down. He lost half of his equipment and got horribly lost. He was optimistic and trying to act brave about being lost with not as many supplies. He realized he was way in over his head; he was some boy band dude who had a dream without much training. Dude is doomed by the narrative

Grayer, while out, found John Dory. He saw JD's fire in the distance and went to investigate it. He saw JD, who was different than the other trolls who would stop by his family's home. Normally he saw various Rock, Country, or random sub genre trolls come through either for the underground cross genre clubs or for hiking.

He actually watched JD for a bit. He was nervous to approach him at first. But after watching JD fail miserably to do a ton of very basic survival things, he decided to step in. He faked them running into each other and was like "you don't look too good! Let me help you :)"

JD automatically accepted it. This dude was doing BAD. The dude was debating on finding his way back to the Troll Tree. It was that bad. He'd rather be eaten by a Bergen than die out there where nobody would know what happened to him.

He also was amazed by some random troll about his age living out here.

So Grayer taught JD how to survive out there. JD learned how to properly get drinking water, patch wounds, make basic things, garden and gather food. The works! Literally he gave him survival classes-

JD was welcomed into the home by the parents. Grayer's mom was shocked to see another pop troll and she let him stay. She couldn't let the poor kid die out there or go back. She knew what that meant

Grayer and JD slowly grew close; bonding over music. JD would perform BroZone songs for him, to which Grayer would watch with the biggest dopey grin on his face

During this time, Grayer got into a nasty fight with one of the spider things. His hair got caught and he had to cut it off. He spends nights crying about his hair, but then styles it down. That's why it's short and looks like that. He keeps it short due to him living like that for so long.

Eventually, Grayer started to bring JD to the underground clubs that existed on the Trail. They were ran by outcasts and trolls who basically got ran out of their respected kingdoms for different reasons. Some where rebellious trolls looking for fun; or they just liked the scene. The two became prominent on the scene as "the love birds". Everyone knew them and some recognized JD from BroZone

Grayer's parents actually helped establish these clubs and underground community. They make clubs out of old hollow dead trees and then undergrown tunnel systems. They helped make the first few, since Grayer's dad was in construction. He doesn't run any of them. He just did the manual labor and helped perform multiple times. Grayer's family is just respected in the scene. There's about five families they're in kahoots with (I can expand on this if anyone wants).

Plus, they help trolls in need on the trail so people tend to know about the random trolls who help save people from death in the wild

Eventually, they ran into Floyd. Floyd was running with the alt/emo/grunge trolls. Some metalheads also. He was also running with a young Riff, who was only two years younger than Floyd. Floyd also has an underground career by now and has a mini indie grunge rock band suprisingly. (Riff's parents run one of the clubs and Riff lives with his grandad and little sister in the Rock Kingdom. Riff is Floyd's drummer and companion. They met in a grunge club in the Rock Kingdom. Floyd was gray for a while and passed as Rock). Floyd is excited to see his brother and he bonds with Grayer automatically

Floyd and Grayer have a heart to heart; talking about how Grayer is in love with JD. Floyd said that if Spruce and Grandma was there, they'd give their blessing. But since they're not and he is, he gave him his blessing.

Floyd 🤝 Grayer: being in love with their companion (past Riff/Floyd moment. They're just besties now y'know??)

JD and Grayer party a LOT during these years

Queue up JD punching some jerk for trying to come onto Grayer and then getting into a brawl outside of a club with the dude. Riff pulls strings to get them not banned from every club on the trail. Part of it is Grayer's parents being staples for making a safe underground scene on the Trail, but Grayer gives Riff the credit.

Around the eight year mark, Grayer finds baby Rhonda. She was abandoned by her mom so Grayer took her in. He gave her to JD as a birthday gift! That's how they know Rhonda so well. She's basically their baby :)

Grayer, at the ten year mark, confesses his love to JD. JD looks flabbergasted before saying he wanted to ask Grayer that. He was waiting for the right moment to ask Grayer if they could commit to one another. They were practically dating

So, they get married :)

JD braids Grayer's hair into the back of his hair, just in case one day he goes back to BroZone; so from the front you can't see it but the back you can. Grayer braids JD's hair more visibly in the front and wears it with pride.

The two are a grumpy old couple. They're very sarcastic but loving to each other, especially after marriage.

Did I mention that earlier? The two are a sarcastic and sassy power couple. They don't take shit and behind the scenes are very loving.

As the years go on, they don't have any eggs surprisingly. Everyone is shocked, but the two are perfectly fine with it. It happens sometimes; not every troll produces the viable eggs.

Grayer's parents die by the fifteen year mark, and they leave everything to Grayer and JD. They are pretty much set for life. So they're pretty much domestic besides when JD wants to go on adventures.

Speaking of which; JD goes on adventures sometimes, which leaves Grayer alone for a few weeks at most. The two are fine with it as long as JD tells Grayer about it. Normally it'll be in the form of the little bat dudes, like Queen Barb's bat Debbie. They have a flock of them that live around them. They feed them, so three or four will follow John Dory sometimes when he goes on adventures. They will basically bring communication back and forth

So, to the Trolls 3 plot

Riff comes back after World Tour to tell them about Branch!! He's alive and saved everyone!! Plus the pop trolls are free :)

JD sends a letter out to Floyd, who doesn't respond. He gets worried and decides to go try the Troll Tree, thinking that's where Floyd went. He tells Grayer he'll be back in a week and Grayer kisses him bye

That week turns into a month.

Grayer is worried sick and he can tell a ton of things are happening (because of the marriage stuff. If you don't read the PowerPoint then ignore this detail). JD doesn't respond to any of his messages, as they never get to him

Like, he's convinced JD is either dying or something bad has happened. He's hoping that JD isn't abandoning him.

He goes from being worried sick to being pissed because what the fuck his husband up and left and is clearly okay and alive!!! HE CAN TELL! JD CAN FEEL HIS DISTRESS!!

Grayer gets pissed, especially when Riff comes back to tell him about BroZone. He was happy for JD, but SEND YOUR HUSBAND A LETTER TO TELL HIM YOURE ALIVE!!!

So what does he do?

He throws JD's clothing out of the window in a fit of rage. Like. The dude is PISSED. He is what, in his 30's and his husband disappeared and could have been dead! He's having a moment. Let him be angry for the first time towards his husband

JD comes home during this.

JD stares in horror at the sight of his clothing being tossed out the window and he starts to scramble to grab them and get into the pod

Grayer sobs his little heart out to JD, who holds him and apologizes. JD explains everything. Grayer feels kinda dumb but vocalizes his feelings. The two come to an understanding

And eventually, he would meet BroZone and they'd enjoy him :)

[somelosercritiques]

Helluva boss episode eight review‼️‼️

(I skipped seven because I decided I want to start with episodes I haven't watched yet)

The positive stuff

The voice acting was amazing if there's one that they'll get right it's everything that has to do with the voice work

There were actually some funny parts in the episode

Vortex is literally like one of four genuinely good characters in this entire franchise he just seems like a dude that would actually be cool to hang with

Finally, 40% of that song bee sung was good and the visuals were amazing

The negative stuff

Dear God where do I start with this one tbh 😭

Ok so I'll get one thing that confuses me about this entire world out of the way. This is less of a criticism or nitpick but more of a genuine question.

How the hell(lol) does time work in hell? Is there like a day night cycle? Are there hell timezones?? Is there a hell sun and moon??? How does time work in different rings???? Why do I keep increasing the question marks with each question I ask?????

But in all seriousness I just realized that there's time in hell so that's kinda weird to me

Ok now time for the actual critiques

I'll start with that God awful cotton candy song. Now to be honest I've never really liked Kesha. I don't hate her but she won't be on any of my playlists. I think she didn't technically sing the song but it's a Kesha song. Remember how I said I liked 40% of the song? Well that's because the chorus literally ruins the other 60%. It's so shitty and repetitive. Like saying two words over and over again is cocomelon levels of songwriting. Normally the chorus is the best part of a song but nope not here 💀

Bee as a character is very confusing in my opinion. Like when blitz was drinking himself to death why did she look sad?? She is the literal embodiment of gluttony. Like this part is genuinely annoying me the most why does she even care that he's getting black out drunk at a literal party? Is that not the point of those? And he has someone that could take him back home if needed so she should be even less worried. In my opinion it would've made more sense for tex to be the only one who cared about him.

Another thing that kind of annoys me is how much of an asshole loona is being for no reason. Bee showed her nothing but kindness and even was worried about her father but then she starts getting defensive for no reason?? Like girl you do realize you're lowkey picking a fight with a SIN.

Oh yeah and that girl that was bothering loona in the beginning of the episode was pretty much the average vivziepop female character. Bitchy and sassy for no reason and also did we mention she's skinny and white coded.

Luckily the last part of the episode was the funniest. When blitz starts breaking down on the couch I'm pretty sure everyone reading this had the exact same reaction as me LOL

Final thoughts

In all this episode was a waste of time and a strange diversion from the previous episode. The fact that this is a season finale is an insult to not only the fans but also all the episodes that came before it. This is more like an extra that should've been a short (like five minutes long). It would've worked much better. Or how about a better idea? Continue the plotline started last episode. This episode was a horrible way to introduce one of the most important figures in hell. 😭

Tbh I'm kinda dreading the next episode because I heard it was horrible and when the show started to decline but that's for tomorrows me to deal with

[bloodykora]

Ik you're probably sick of the ABA playlist suggestions, but if you're not here's a few;

Stockholm Syndrome - Charming Disaster

A Hex - Go Hang Music

Love! Or The Beast That Looks Like it - Honorary Astronaut

Mi Capitán - Kiltro

Fight for Me - AlicebanD

I'm a little obsessed with them

Also tried to go for songs with low listen-counts so hopefully they're new suggestions.

Hii! Apologies for the later reply, I've been taking care of my sick partner but thank you for the recommendations. And I'm nowhere near sick of song suggestions, I love finding new music so thank you for letting me expand.

Stockholm Syndrome had such straight to the point lyrics which most of the time I'm not a fan of in song writing but it very much reminded me of Stalkers Tango by Autoheart or Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer. Cause right at the beginning it does talk about hostage situation but the lyrics. "How can you take whats been given? There is no one who's been stolen." Very much Para being like "yeah you did take me however, I'm cool with it. I don't wanna leave." (And like a little kick of Guns + Ammunition by July Talk but idk why)

You really said "I'm gonna give this hoe a run for her money" I cannot find any lyrics for A Hex so I had to listen very carefully to it. This song is reminiscent of ABA's trailer to me. "A consuming flame of jealousy" I can very much see it as her inner mantra, wanting to be positive and healthy yet "feelings of inability clash inside of me" aka still having those pesky envious and rageful thoughts. "Violent and hateful, I'm jealous and spiteful. A feign of cruelty runs through my core."

When I read this title, I missed old PATD so fast. However, unlike PATD the title actually correlates to the song. This is Testament in the embodiment of song form in ABA's character arcade. Couples therapy song.

Okay Gomez Addams. If I had a character playlist for him, this would definitely go on it. Which leads me to now realize. Honestly, when/if Para does become human. ABA and him would be a very much toned Morticia and Gomez couple. This is a Para song to me. Because ABA is very much the leader in the relationship (cause he's a key) and the song very much encapsulates the singer as the follower. Doing as his lover wishes, and even the scars or other hearts don't matter. "My heart, my liege, my second birth." Ties into how Para speaks about how before he met ABA he was very blood hungry and manipulate and as we see. He seems very different from that, he changed since being with ABA.

If this was on my playlist. I would definitely put it near the top. Before the couple went through their changes as people and as partners. Because it's very unhealthy. "Make you fight for me and pray I pay the bills. Make you die for me and watch your body spill." In all honesty though, this is absolutely how their partnership started when ABA found Para.

Anon, Saber. You very much have a taste of music that I kinda avoid. Not cause I think its bad or anything, I just don't normally click with it. I kinda call it banjo music, where its whimsical yet serious toned. And it was kinda fun to think of ABA that way.

[leynaeithnea]

watched some more animatics from your playlist btw and you're not escaping my brainrot sorryy

I liked the Scylla one , it had this bloody terrifying vibe to it that I really enjoyed and also I liked that the central part of Scylla's body, the one that resembles a human being kinda, was not done so that she just looked like a normal beautiful woman but she actually looked a little weird , like a creature ( at some point she even tilts her head like animals do and it's so cute kaksksksk )

The animatic that made me really lose my mind was the one for mutiny though, it was so good!!! The characters are so expressive ?? Their faces convey so much emotion?? Damn???

It immediately starts super great with eury panting so hard it looks like he's on the cusp of having a panic attack while he looks around at all the blood and the wreckage Kakdksksksj YES

He's so mad and then he gets out his sword to fight and does that thing where he drags his sword on the floor that is so extremely kaksksksjs YES YES

Then there's this shot right before they start fighting where you see both Ody and Eury and you realize how physically bigger eury is and it makes so much sense bc in this duo Ody is the mind and Eury rhe muscle! His right hand man! And yet Ody is not scared , he is actually sure he can take him ( hubrys again? A little ) and he does! The fight is so good bc ( again , I might be overanalyzing here ) you see how eury puts all his strength in every attack, like he puts his sword over his head and then hw swings it down towards Ody , he's all raw power and anger. Meanwhile Ody is all strategy, he's smaller but also quicker , and used his advantage to slash his opponent in few but calculated places, he slashes his back so that handling the sword will hurt and gets his eye so that eury can't really see that well

Also don't know if this is something intentional or if I'm making it up but while they are in the sun god's island eury's eye is bandaged ,and I'm thinking maybe it simbolizes that he can't really see straight anymore ? so blinded by the hunger and all the pain that he can't see just what he is about to cause? The danger he is about to face ?

And I also like how Ody is tied for this scene and how he bargains with Eury but is also trying to break free so that he can stop him creating even more tension during the scene bc you really want him to get free and intervene but he's too late

Mmmh yeah I think I'm done for now aksksks please add your thoughts if you want bc I'd really like to know what you think :)) <3

watched some more animatics from your playlist btw and you're not escaping my brainrot sorryy

I do not wish to escape it, rather dive into it head first :)

( at some point she even tilts her head like animals do and it's so cute kaksksksk)

ITS SO CREEPY RIGHT, great animatic

like he's on the cusp of having a panic attack while he looks around at all the blood and the wreckage Kakdksksksj YES

THE ANGST; YES ITS SO GOOOD

Then there's this shot right before they start fighting where you see both Ody and Eury and you realize how physically bigger eury is and it makes so much sense bc in this duo Ody is the mind and Eury rhe muscle! His right hand man! And yet Ody is not scared , he is actually sure he can take him ( hubrys again? A little ) and he does! The fight is so good bc ( again , I might be overanalyzing here ) you see how eury puts all his strength in every attack, like he puts his sword over his head and then hw swings it down towards Ody , he's all raw power and anger. Meanwhile Ody is all strategy, he's smaller but also quicker , and used his advantage to slash his opponent in few but calculated places, he slashes his back so that handling the sword will hurt and gets his eye so that eury can't really see that well

YOURE SO RIGHT OMG, also i think like, ody in Homer IS one of the best fighters only second to Achilles or smth like that iirc, so he 1000% CAN Take on Eury, im gonna yap about that in my mutiny post when my hands stop dying bc i have a LOT to say about Mutiny

Also don't know if this is something intentional or if I'm making it up but while they are in the sun god's island eury's eye is bandaged ,and I'm thinking maybe it simbolizes that he can't really see straight anymore ? so blinded by the hunger and all the pain that he can't see just what he is about to cause? The danger he is about to face ?

Woaaa thats fascinating it could be???? he got injured in the fight but the double meaning i can def see that in that...fascianting

And I also like how Ody is tied for this scene and how he bargains with Eury but is also trying to break free so that he can stop him creating even more tension during the scene bc you really want him to get free and intervene but he's too late

THATS CANON (stage directions during the livestream) ITS SO GOOD I LOVE IT ITS SO COOL HES TOO LATE ITS seigsegisegseugshe Ill have to go through the animatics later on to add my thoughts, maye Ill start a ask spam series on your blog one Im done with my thunder saga yapping :3 to keep this up a little longer

[ramennoodlezzzao3]

nobody asked me to answer, but I’m gonna anyways 😝

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats 

Idk how to do that lol

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

I couldn’t find any fics that I wanted bc I’m too specific, so I started writing. It was purely for fun and I wasn’t fully thinking about the fact that people might actually read it AND enjoy it lol

  🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

me and some of my moots from TikTok created this playlist lol (it’s, like, 14 hours long)

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? Idk what that means but ima go off of what I’m thinking and that is just editing while proof reading and I enjoy it! 10/10

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

🙏👉😁🔥💀 (no, it’s not abt the burning church 💀🙏)

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

I’m new here, I have no EXTREMELY close moots so idk. But @paul-ster seems pretty chill so probably them (

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I HAVE SO MANY I LOVE! But if I had to choose rn Soracha for the author and “Ron Weasley and His First Year at Hogwarts” by snoopy_owl. Two of my favs!

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now? 

none, believe it or not. I constantly check it for ao3 updates. But I also have three separate yt accounts so I get regular emails abt comments and updates and I normally check them everyday. The only exception is one email I use for spam sites like grammarly, that email has 408 unread emails.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@fictionalcharactergraveyard

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

ooo, neither tbh. Unless its a one-shot or a mini fic where I add a S/O or like my unpublished Uber fic where I had to add several OG characters, I don’t like adding new ones bc I think it disrupts the story a lot and I normally don’t read fics when people do that. And personally, unless it’s the ones that are supposed to be halrious and satire, I think self-inserts are kinda cringey bc most people who write them over-sexulize the characters and add weird stuff in that makes me cringe (key word: MOST not ALL) but also I just cant imagine myself dating someone let alone my comfort characters.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I don’t think I have any

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?

I just can’t get into the writing mood. But when I start it’s really hard to stop

  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

PURLY! I love to think Curly calls pony “Mi Amor” or like calls him pet names in Spanish. I think it’s really cute

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

literally don’t be fake as hell. Don’t be all shy and sweet like, if you are comeback or Yapping king/queen then tell me bc we can yap together. Like, If I can call you Pookie within the first four interactions, we are besties, considered us married at that point

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I’m redecorating my room, I got a new puppy, and- wait, bitch, who gives a fuck, let’s be honest 💀🙏

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

can’t say bc it’s an unpublished chapter of a on going fic 😝

  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Harry Potter is kinda an ass

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don’t write anything too bizarre so I can’t think of anything

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

strive to accomplish what you set as a goal, not what society set as a standard or a must

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

My comfort character gets ignored hard core, makes new friends, get into shenanigans, and then a lot of angst ensues. Who would write it best? Mmm…Fictionalcharacter graveyard or Soracha

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

if you have a scene you want to write for a fic, start writing it but ONLY WRITE THE DIALOGUE. You can add who said it but I do it all the time and it gives me new ideas and gradually helps me continue a fic. It’s also easier to add detail in between when you are focused on that instead of getting to the next dialogue scene.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

Nick Sturniolos iconic “Then he will taste the rainbow while he goes out”

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

“I LOVE THIS, I CAN’T WAIT FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER!” Then they go on an entire yap session about how they think the fic will turn out or parts they’re excited for. It always makes me happy to see someone enjoy my hobby as much as I do even though we have different perspectives 🤭

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

Alr, ik im gonna get backlash but i cant stand Cherry Valence. 1. I will give it to her, she’s a downright badass.

2. her hair is really pretty

3. She was nice to pony at the drive in, I’ll give her some points (still don’t like her too much tho)

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told?

Not much. Okay, this is gonna sound so fricking clique but that last lie I told was “Yeah, I’m fine, just tired” even though I know damn well I’m probably depressed asf

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

I have only older siblings and every time one moves out, I stop talking to them so I don’t become the annoying youngest sister, so I’m afraid their gonna forget about me, and they probably will. I only have two siblings that still live with me so that’s only two more people left to forget me before I’m totally alone lol. (Depressed, see?)

  🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

book writers that can describe really well.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I think I’m too impatient and give myself an unrealistic deadline for stuff

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

I like them a lot!

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

I’ll add that later lol

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

it was a name my family wouldn’t be able to find. I’m embarrassed to write bc my family LOVES to pick out your insecurities and hobbies and never let you live them down.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

again, I’m new here, so nobody here is my “supporter” but @shae-pine has liked all of my posts so ig them? I got to say, that “The Youngest (The Favorite)” fic I really liked! Ur also just the sweetest person ever! 😭🫶🏻

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

I have 7 (I had 8 but my cat passed away yesterday, RIP in the comments for Sophie 🩵)

I won’t post pics because that’s a large file 😭🙏

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

I DONT HAVE THE LINK BUT I LOVE THIS

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

self insert, too much OOC scenes, pairings I don’t like, oc’s/characters unless it’s the character I’m reading abt, pure smut or p*rn, over sexulization or romanticizing R*pe, over detailed non-con, specific characters are dead, and the fic doesn’t focus on a character that I wanna read about.

[the-skeleton-speaks]

6 Songs Tav-Tag

Thanks @gale-dekarios for tagging!!! I feel awkward tagging lots of ppl and uhhhh sorgy random ppl in my notifs if you looked like you had a tav I chose you 😔🫶

Tagging: @hamartia-grander , @mosses-gate-3 , @bohamod, @million-flowerthebard

it was hard to choose between Cyfrin and Belir but I'm going with Cyfrin (durge) and because I'm a yapper I'm giving a tiny explanation to each song

Break for your dash lmao this got long

Event that describes your character's past

------

We went the two of us into

The woods behind our little school

Two went in and one came home

We didn't go in there alone

---

Ough this song is so perfect for the first time Bhaal chose Cyfrin, taking interest in his morbid curiosity. He has a dream he goes into the woods with his best friend. They play and do as they usually do, then Cyfrin gets his first Urge. He's a kid, 13 at most, and can't resist the god that's chosen him. He wakes up with blood on his hands, surrounded by darkened woods.

----

2. How would your character describe themselves

-----

Carving my initials in the back

Of my hand in case of losing track

I forgot, remember to forgive

It's times like this that that make me wish that

I wish that I could live, I don't wish I could live

But somebody's got to stay

--------

Before he rejects Bhaal Cyfrin views himself as something dangerous, something that shouldn't exist but pushes through it, doing everything he can to fight the memory loss and Urges so he can protect and help the companions who he grows so intensely fond of.<3

--------

3. How others view them

-----

Yes you know that I'm a happy man

But something in me is burning

I gotta push it, push it out, push it

So much frustration

------

Despite what Cyfrin tries to hide behind a care-free neutral demeanor, the companions can tell he's struggling with not only his urges but morally as well. His actions can seem contradictory and for some that makes them wary of how he will react to various situations.

----

4. Closest relationship (romantic or platonic)

(I couldn't add the song link because it kept causing the post to break and refused to post but it's Me and My Husband by Mitski)

----

So I bet all I have on that

Furrowed brow

And at least in this lifetime

We're sticking together

Me and my husband

We're sticking together

----

I take poison damage from Gale and Cyfrin istg /vpos

AUGHH I love them sm Cyfrin views Gale as such a safehouse, even just being near him makes him feel so much safer and while he wonders how Gale fell in love with him in the first place, he Never doubts Gale loves him unconditionally.

------

5. A major fight

Cut me with your vicious tongue

Make me taste what I've become The violence, the violence

The perfect prayer

------

This song really scratches my brain for the big Orin duel. Like Cyfrin going "Fine, you want to mock me for my resistance of Father? I'll show you why He made me as I am." And destroying Orin just as Bhaal intended, then turning around and completely denouncing him ("I will worship as I please") AUGHHH I'm normal about this ok.

-----

6. End credits song

------

There's no lyrics here. It really feels like the perfect mix of like, a new excitement for the future while still being almost tense enough to remind you that Cyfrin has a long way to go in terms of healing himself from Bhaal and a lot of things to unlearn.

Cyfrins full playlist here