#i dont know when the next time i'd be able to come back and visit would be

[jungwookjins]

guys im gonna miss boston so bad oh my god :((

[gaoau]

you'll never resemble a human, so stand up on your claws and kill your own God

theory of the two demons warnings — this is set in the bsd beast universe, so if you havent read/watched that, i do not recommend reading this. theres spoilers and it probably wont make much sense anyway if you dont know what the fucks going on for everyone else that has read beast, have fun word count — 5.5k note — bonus 😝😝

prev.

"have you ever heard about the theory of the two demons?"

"i haven't. what does it say?"

"that to combat a great evil, you need an even greater evil. say, for uprisings against the government, the government can suppress the people with forced disappearances, for example."

"so it's bad against worse?"

"precisely. it cancels out. it reaches a point where evil is just the norm. a demon against another demon; do you get it?"

"i see. like… fighting fire with fire. only a demon can kill a demon."

"yeah, that's… that's a good analogy."

"where did you find this theory? it seems interesting."

"that's not important. i just thought you'd like to know about it."

"why's that?"

"so you don't resent me after i'm dead."

"i'd be surprised if you're actually mortal at all."

"now that's a very cursed thing to say, [Name]."

"my apologies, boss."

[Surname] [Name] is not required for his plans by any means, Dazai knows, but there's a needle of an unnamed feeling pricking him on the back of the head. he sits in Mori's office, reading old newspapers from two or three years ago. it's his latest special interest, so Mori doesn't question it and keeps supplying him with new material. but Mori also questions it, because Dazai doesn't give anything that isn't worth it the time of day. it is an interesting topic, he admits, but it raises his suspicions just as much.

strange murder cases across Japan are not uncommon, what with ability users running wild. he tries not to think much of it. he can't, though, not when Dazai excitedly gasps, "Mori-san! this one could be useful!" as he points to a particular article from Nagoya. spontaneous deaths concentrated in a relatively small radius—likely the work of an ability. an interesting one. one that Dazai knows he doesn't need. one that Dazai hears murmurs of from unilateral memories.

Mori hums, "what is it?" he wonders what could have possibly caught the demon prodigy's eye. but as soon as he glances over to the newspaper and the bold kanji from two years ago, a chill runs down his spine.

"spontaneous deaths, no signs of physical trauma or any diseases, unrelated and irregular victims," Dazai starts listing off. Mori knows this case like the back of his hand. "it's clearly an ability user, wouldn't you agree?" Mori's had his eye on this one for the past two years. "probably a child, too, seeing how erratic they are."

Mori thinks Dazai is aware of a lot more than he's letting on.

"we should fetch them like we did with Q. they might be an ability worth having in the mafia's arsenal."

Mori blinks blankly at the cunning child staring right back into him with an unassuming grin. suggestions of a mind with normal thoughts, those abnormal people wouldn't be able to fathom. because Dazai is not special, however his schemes may play out. he offers him a smile, a bit more strained than he wishes to express. "okay, Dazai-kun, i'll leave that to you." 

and a parallel story comes to life—a story where kids can't cry, but they can pray for their lives.

it's easier to find something when knowing exactly where to look for it. Dazai doesn't waste any time paying a visit to the ruins of a research facility in Nagoya. whatever shall be rebuilt from these remains, he'll make sure it doesn't impact his plans. admittedly, he doesn't know what is waiting for him at the next location on his to-do list. among the rubble and the blood, he finds a stainless steel bracelet. he knows who it belonged to and he knows where to keep it for the sake of repentance.

after his short detour, he makes his way to Shizuoka. he's all smiles and innocence when he speaks to the lady in charge of orphaned children. when he's allowed inside and the woman calls [Name]'s attention, he hears the echo of a gunshot ringing in his ear. he remembers cursed words meant to follow him in every new page.

[Name] is sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall and taking up space as their legs are stretched out. one of their little brothers—Dazai doesn't know which one—sits against them, holding a book. as soon as the woman calls their name, [Name]'s head shoots up. they pat their sibling on the shoulder, chuckling at their childish whining, before approaching their beckoning mother. she introduces the two to one another with a warm grin and promptly leaves them to talk in private.

as they're sitting outside, watching children of all ages play with a ball, Dazai presents them with the cheap bracelet. "do you recognize this?" he prompts them to take it, but they don't budge. they scan the jewelry with their eyes briefly. then they shake their head. Dazai sighs, returning the bracelet to his pocket.

he lets silence settle between them, leaving space for [Name] to ask any questions. without stained walls and dying children, he wonders what this version of [Name] has to say to him. how sharp are their teeth? how deep do they bite? how much do they burn? but they don't look at him as they say, "i don't know who you are or what that bracelet is." they flinch when one of their siblings falls face first on the grass. their eyes are soft, without any trace of fear. "why are you here?"

amiability and [Name] are dissonant, Dazai thinks, but truth stands that the looming cloud of anger clinging to their shoulders doesn't exist here. he considers the many paths he can take them down, between violence and comradery. "listen," he starts, choosing to stand neutral where he knows he shouldn't disrupt, "it's your choice, but the ability you have—" [Name] snaps their neck towards him, "—is very useful, and a lot of less than nice people will come to get you for it." 

the last time [Name] used Mirror Mirage was two years ago. the last person to ever know about it was a man in a lab coat. "i'm past using my ability. it's been long enough." with their family and their life, they hardly feel the need to steal from others anymore. they look Dazai in the eye with a passive stare, harmless, curious, willing. the stare of an older sibling scolding him for acting so childishly.

"about that…" he trails, rising from the bench. he can't see [Name] from his peripheral vision. he knows [Name] has no hostility within them unless he gives them some. "i was told to burn this orphanage down just to get you. but i'm being nice about it." and he won't give them any reason to bare their teeth. he's learned his lesson. he knows better from his own parallel mistakes. "you're a smart kid, aren't you?"

"are you extorting me?"

"not quite, i'm just looking out for you." a chuckle slips from his tongue. there's a fine line between his lies and his benevolence. it seems he cannot change his ways—he can only make them softer.

[Name] purses their lips in thought as they ponder over his words. "will everyone here be safe if i go with you?" they crane their neck to look up at him. he's not that much taller than them, even while standing up, wearing nothing but black, hiding behind his bangs and bandages. he still feels unreachable, too big and too lonely, like he takes up too much space whether he wants to or not.

"you can watch over them yourself," Dazai reassures them. he takes a step and turns to face them, offering them his bandaged hand.

"okay then." without a moment's hesitation, they reach for his fingers. they rise to their feet. "i'll go with you."

"welcome to the Port Mafia, [Name]."

Dazai feels in their hand the moment they realize exactly who he is and where he comes from. they blink owlishly at him as he smiles back without a trace of animosity. [Name] relaxes their muscles, now knowing they've made the correct choice. later that same week, they meet again with the man in the lab coat; the head of the Port Mafia itself.

it's fleeting, [Name] realizes, but it's very much there—the unadulterated, baseless animosity creeping up their legs. when they walk into the training room on their first day, Dazai is waiting for them while leaning against the wall. they see it in his eye as he turns his head to look at them. it's a hollow stare, a bottomless pit of strife, reaching out in echoes from the sobs of a child. his lips curl into a small smile. [Name] feels the hairs on their nape bristling in alarm, like there's a bigger threat looming nearby, but all they can see is Dazai.

and Dazai, with that look in his eyes and that simper on his lips, is not a threat at all.

when he's standing so close to them, when he isn't hiding in the sunlight, he feels much smaller. it's almost as if they could see his hands shaking. it's almost as if they could see the tears wanting to overflow. there's a stirring in their stomach where pain bubbles, purely and innocently. Dazai is so, so far away.

he pushes himself off the wall and stands across from [Name]. stepping closer, he finds it unusual to not see their muscles tense in alarm. then he remembers the usual hasn't been established yet. "those scars…" his sentence dies down as he tastes the words. they feel familiar on his tongue, so he finds a way to flip them upside down. "do you want to die, [Name]?" his eye casts down to their uncovered arms. they look the same.

"i'm sorry?"

a sigh tumbles from his lips. "your scars, those are self-inflicted."

"ah." instinctively, [Name]'s fingers reach up to touch their neck. Dazai doesn't look at them. "there was a time, back in the labs. i've grown out of it." they speak nonchalantly, shrugging their shoulders and acting like craving death was nothing more than a short phase. a little something they tried for fun and stopped once they got bored of it—it doesn't follow them, it doesn't cling to them, it has left them alone because they don't want to die anymore.

"why?"

"what do you mean?"

"why did you want to die?"

he sees how [Name] stops to give it some thought. their eyes flicker down and to the side briefly, then return to him, alive. "i'm not sure. it was just easy."

"those tests they ran on you," he prompts.

"yeah." they blink and something flashes in their eyes. it's unnoticeable, but Dazai can see it clearly. he considers briefly, just briefly, keeping his mouth shut. [Name] continues with an explanation that only makes sense to normal people like themself and Dazai, "living things became trivial."

"and by consequence, so did you."

[Name] nods. it's odd, they think, how easily he understands without them explaining a jumbled mess of forgotten thoughts. maybe it isn't that odd, especially considering he's read their files already. "do you want to die, Dazai-san?" but they see him as soon as their question slips from their tongue.

"yes."

in a quick answer with no hesitation, [Name] sees the innocent boy on the verge of tears. he's gritting his teeth and covering his ears with trembling hands. [Name] grimaces, because the closer they try to step, the smaller he becomes. so scared, so lonely, so vulnerable. they feel sorry for him. they pity him. he feels just like another little sibling from the orphanage, one [Name] could easily hold until his breathing settles down again. but as soon as they blink, he fades away, melting into the shadows where they can't reach. in his stead, they meet Dazai's hollow stare.

[Name]'s fingers twitch on instinct. "can i ask why?" they think, ignoring the bristling hairs on the back of their nape, that Dazai has been standing alone and alienated for far too long.

"some may call me a fool," he answers, voice light and airy, shrugging it off like it's something he's heard a billion times before. but then [Name] feels it again, when he looks them right in the eye, the unnerving animosity trying to drag them down. it's as if he's looking at someone else—looking at words he's heard from the same voice, but not quite the same person. "others," he emphasizes, "may call me a coward."

[Name] recoils. they take a step backwards. that statement—that complaint—was not directed at them, [Name] understands, but it was directly for them.

Dazai lets a chuckle drift into the silence. he recognizes he shouldn't be speaking anymore. he recedes and takes his contempt off [Name] with him. "is that enough of an answer for you?"

"i think… it's your choice." ([Name] tries—wants—to understand.) "whether you want to tell me or not."

they don't bite. "you're a lot more agreeable," Dazai hums. in a world in which he hasn't stolen anything from them, [Name] has no reason to bite back. if he hadn't been so childish, maybe they could have held a conversation like this in the right story.

[Name] contemplates asking for clarification, but they keep their mouth shut as Dazai steps closer. he feels small again. he's a kid. he's nothing but a kid, all over again.

with weightless steps, he stands a few feet away from [Name]. "attack me with all you've got."

Dazai can recite this scene from memory. [Name] hesitates, argues, and he makes sure they understand where their loyalties should lie from the get-go. he's long decided to teach them the same lessons in a different way. their attack is as predictable as the first time; he wastes not a single second striking his leg against their ribcage. as [Name] bounces off the wall, Dazai sighs to himself.

"lesson number one," his voice echoes through the training room, "don't rely on your ability alone." he watches unblinking while [Name] struggles to pick themself up from the floor. "you're gonna need a lot of martial arts training."

[Name] can barely register any of his words when their mouth is overflowing with blood.

Dazai gives them time to stand back up on their feet. quietly, he turns towards the door. "that's all for today." [Name]'s blurry eyes follow him as he begins heading out. his back is so, so small. "the closest infirmary is on the ground floor. same time tomorrow, yeah?" he stops at the door, glancing over his shoulder.

finding support on the wall, [Name] clutches the forming bruise on their side, stumbling in an attempt to stay balanced. their head spins, but they answer, "…yeah, okay…" despite the sickening taste of blood on their tongue.

"i'll use a gun, so be ready."

"…gotcha."

[Name] listens to their own choked breathing and takes a moment to properly stabilize themself. Dazai hears an echo in his brain, voices from the dead he has never heard, but he nonetheless remembers. it haunts him, whether he wants them to or not, because wisdom only has worth when a writer is dead. he takes it upon himself to not stress [Name] out too much. promptly, he exits the training room, leaving the door wide open for [Name] to follow once they gather their bearings again.

they think, while heading for the door, that Dazai is simply a lonely kid drowning in future regrets.

Dazai knows better than anyone—or rather, he's the only who knows—that he cannot interfere where he isn't allowed. the best example of this is [Name]'s natural gravitation towards Chuuya. he lets the years pass, working for things to play out the exact same way, changing the course only where it's needed for his plan. while he's busy throwing a quiet tantrum in a former assassin's apartment, he leaves [Name] in Chuuya's hands.

Nakahara Chuuya has read [Name]'s files—only the most relevant ones, because it would take him a lifetime to even scan through everything that has been documented since the moment of their birth. empathy simmers in his chest in the face of another humane monster built from experiments.

that which resembles a human. resembling humans, all of them, dancing on a chessboard in someone else's pocket.

however smart Mori may be, however much respect he may have for the boss, Chuuya believes leaving a kid with suicidal tendencies to a suicidal bastard is undeniably cruel. [Name] is nothing like Dazai, because they value life, because they don't regret being born, because they don't taunt death in an attempt to free themself. and yet despite knowing they are so, so different from the demon prodigy, there still is something. there is something, and Chuuya doesn't know what, but it's very much there. something in their eyes, something very deep in a parallel mirror; something on the scar on their neck and something in their voice.

something, whatever it is, making [Name] feel horribly similar to Dazai.

Chuuya has seen his friends die time and time again. that's just the way the mafia works. he fears he's going to see [Name] end up being another corpse in a pile of distant memories.

after a strenuous day of training, he offers them a cigarette. the more they take from him, the less they'll follow in Dazai's footsteps—he hopes, at least, because Dazai has a plan. Chuuya doesn't know what it is or why he's so determined to see it come to fruition, but he does know no one is safe. so he leans against the wall, taking another drag, listening as [Name] explains their experience in the research facility. out of curiosity, out of concern.

if there's an input, there's an output.

[Name] shakes ashes off their cigarette. they finish their retelling with a closing thought of, "at some point, the concept of life became trivial, as Dazai-san put it." it sounds natural and it rolls off their tongue with the tone of an older sibling. Chuuya argues that it sounds dissonant; that agreeing with Dazai shouldn't be a willing choice. "i could kill anyone and anything, but i couldn't kill myself. they wouldn't let me."

he sighs heavily, "that explains why you feel so much like that lousy suicidal bastard."

with the way [Name] turns to blink owlishly at him, he'd think he's offended them. their brows furrow in thought for a moment, before they chuckle sardonically. "i think Dazai-san's in a league of his own." as a pained afterthought, they add, "sadly." they cast their gaze down to their shoes, a grimace twisting their face. pity burns on their tongue. "there really isn't anyone out there to feel so much like him."

"hopefully," Chuuya snarls, rolling his eyes, "there really shouldn't be."

"do you hate him that much, Chuuya-san? i know he's a lot to handle, but he's just throwing a tantrum." the laughter that falls from their lips is ironic. they don't mean it. they're at a loss. the cigarette between their fingers slips and bounces off their shoes.

Chuuya clicks his tongue. "he's just a cunning bastard with a plan to fuck everyone over." he flicks his own cigarette off to the side to emphasize his words.

[Name] lets his snarky remark swim into their ears, processing each sound with careful consideration. they stare silently at the floor as they take into account everything the mafia has shown them for the past two years. they're well aware Dazai is always slithering around, a heavy presence looming over everyone's shoulders to make sure everything goes according to plan. they know he's doing something, whatever it might be, and it's very important. that's why he's been gone for over a week already. from where [Name] stands, it simply seems capricious.

"i think he's a little kid," they speak up with a hint of hesitation. a knot in their throat tries to keep them from spitting words a parallel story would set them on fire for. they clear their throat, turning to find Chuuya's eyes. "doesn't he feel like a neglected toddler to you?"

immediately, Chuuya throws his head back and cackles from the core of his chest. he pats [Name]'s shoulder harshly, shaking them in a fit of pure amusement. "ha! that's your best joke so far." he pretends to wipe a tear off his eye. the moment his laughter fades away, a peeved frown pulls his brows down. "that shitty asshole's a demon that's been alive for centuries. i wouldn't waste pity on him." as if it were an unimportant discussion about ants on the ground, Chuuya shrugs his shoulders. he's done with his smoke break and he cares little about sympathy for malicious intelligence.

[Name] watches him head back into the Port Mafia building. the demonic crown Dazai wears weighs on him more and more as the years go by. centuries upon centuries of living in isolation should give a demon like him all the wisdom in the universe, and yet he's nothing but a child. even Chuuya is only a child with issues of his own. they all are. and when kids are scared, some cry, some bite back, and some simply cower in a corner while gritting their teeth.

with a sigh, [Name] crushes their struggling cigarette with the sole of their shoe. they follow after Chuuya once the fire has died.

it's strange, Dazai thinks, and it rattles him for a moment. he only has the memories of what will happen, but he's convinced he can still feel frail bones crushing under the pressure of his foot. the moment he sees [Name] in broad daylight, crouched over in an awfully familiar alleyway, he stops dead in his tracks. his fingers twitch. he almost wishes [Name] would try to hide away in the shadows. he doesn't have to even look past them to know there's a box with three puppies in it.

"what are you doing here, [Name]?"

[Name] cranes their neck back, finding Dazai's eye staring down at them with a blank gaze. "hello, Dazai-san," they greet him normally, because they don't know and they can't guess. they step to the side to let him see the three dying dogs, huddled together for warmth inside a humid box. Dazai blinks. these puppies don't just look frail, they look sick.

"what are you doing?"

[Name] turns back to the box. with one hand, they keep searching for a way to help these dying creatures; the other one offers a sense of comfort—or as much as they can—scratching their heads gently. "i found these guys abandoned here. i was thinking of getting 'em to the vet, they don't look too good." when [Name] removes their hand, one of the puppies stirs. it tries to call out in a faint cry. it barely has the strength to breathe.

"oh." Dazai hums in understanding. he doesn't like dogs. he doesn't care about what happens to these dogs. something is probably eating them from the inside out and he knows for a fact they will not survive a ride to the vet. they're on the verge of death already; [Name], this time, is too late. "yeah, that's a good idea." he doesn't care about what happens to these dogs or to [Name] themself, but he lets them do whatever they want. it is not a dare. it is not a challenge. it's simply him taking a step back.

"do you know of any vets nearby? i can't find anything on my phone."

"…i don't really like dogs so i don't know anything." he lies. he does know. he cannot step back more than this.

it's fleeting, but [Name] feels that same baseless animosity trying to drown them. "i see." they pretend it's fair. they don't pry. with a grimace, they turn again to look at Dazai. "do you think they'll make it? they might be a lost cause."

"you should try."

the longer they consider it, the more pity simmers in their chest. when they scan their eyes over the puppies one more time, they're agitated, struggling to breathe. "i'd rather not put 'em through that… i'll just let 'em pass peacefully." an orange glow surrounds their body as they use Mirror Mirage to steal the dogs' lives from them. painlessly, the three of them grow weaker until they ultimately die.

Dazai glares quietly. he watches with a hollow stare as [Name], with their eyes closed, claps their hands and says a short prayer to the lives they've taken.

"i'll find a place to bury them. excuse me, Dazai-san." picking the box up from the floor, [Name] bows their head to him. he trails his eyes after them while they disappear down the sidewalk.

Mori Ogai knew eventually Dazai would take his place. evil expects evil from others. when he finds [Name]'s hand around his throat, he chuckles. he figures this is exactly why Dazai wanted to take them from their orphanage and bring them into his arsenal. he's not given much choice and lets the children do with him as they see fit.

at age eighteen, Dazai Osamu becomes the Port Mafia's boss.

[Name] doesn't mind the changes in the mafia, especially considering they aided the new boss. there's a hefty weight of unbearable responsibility pressing down on their shoulders. they're aware Dazai isn't their problem, and neither do they feel the need to interfere. he is doing something—[Name] doesn't know what it is or why, but they hope he can accomplish it so he'll finally sit down and breathe. they know better than to meddle. but the duty of an older sibling compels them to at least check in on everyone around them.

(Chuuya isn't content. they've heard all of his complaints again and again over cigarettes and drinks. he says he doesn't blame them for helping Dazai out in taking Mori's head. they hardly believe him.)

Dazai calls them into his office. something feels off when they step inside, bowing as per usual, speaking politely like they did with Mori. he's leaning back on his chair and reading a book. the cover is worn, but they can make out the characters for war and crime. the look in his eye darkens considerably as he lets it flutter shut before dropping it in his trash bin.

he leans into his desk and towards [Name], an empty smile curling his lips. "i have a task for you, [Name]." he gathers documents scattered around, brushing off a paper airplane that falls off the edge. [Name] takes them from his hand with a nod. "i'd like some information on this orphanage."

"of course, boss."

they bow one more time to excuse themself. Dazai considers letting them go with their task, but curiosity gets the best of him. he can't keep his mouth shut. "say, [Name]," he starts. [Name] stands up straight, listening attentively. "have you ever heard about the theory of the two demons?"

[Name] blinks, brows rising. it doesn't ring a bell. "i haven't. what does it say?" Dazai knows it doesn't ring a bell.

"that to combat a great evil, you need an even greater evil." it's taken him years to understand what this theory entails. it's taken him memories that do not belong to him to wrap his head around nonsense such as this. the best experience comes first-hand. "say, for uprisings against the government, the government can suppress the people with forced disappearances, for example." he cannot pretend to laugh at this anymore.

"so it's bad against worse?"

"precisely." Dazai snaps his fingers. there's a childlike ring in his voice, like he's happy to finally hold a conversation with the [Name] he's known. "it cancels out. it reaches a point where evil is just the norm. a demon against another demon; do you get it?"

"i see. like… fighting fire with fire." they're close. "only a demon can kill a demon."

like saying long time no see to someone he's supposed to have never met. like stabbing his own leg for someone he knows doesn't have the choice to stray. like offering lies to someone who cursed him in a different story. like babbling words that are not his. "yeah, that's… that's a good analogy." like a corpse smiling back at him. (like animal blood staining his shoes.)

"where did you find this theory? it seems interesting."

Dazai glances at the trash bin only briefly. "that's not important." [Name] doesn't catch on. "i just thought you'd like to know about it."

"why's that?"

"so you don't resent me after i'm dead." he's always known they aren't anything like him.

[Name] lets an innocent chuckle slip, "i'd be surprised if you're actually mortal at all."

"now that's a very cursed thing to say, [Name]." he offers them a smile. it's the smile of a child, innocent and ignorant. it's heavy.

"my apologies, boss."

Nakajima Atsushi is a mellow boy. it doesn't take a genius to realize he wasn't as lucky as [Name] was when drawing straws in the orphanage lottery. he's been blessed with a powerful ability, but he's also been cursed to never tame it. Dazai seems to have been prepared for this inconvenience since the day he was born. [Name] considers that's probably exactly the case.

they analyze the collar Dazai has given them, before their eyes fall on Atsushi. he's mellow and he's scared. he sits quietly on the floor, hugging his knees close to his chest to make himself small, hiding his face in search for safety. [Name] crouches by him, wearing the same gentle simper they used for their youngest siblings.

"i'm sorry about this, Atsushi-kun," they speak softly, careful not to make unnecessary loud noises, "but Dazai-san said it's to keep your ability in check."

"i know. i understand. it's okay." he lifts his head up only slightly. he meets [Name]'s pitying eyes.

they frown. the theory of the two demons states that, in order to take down a great evil, one requires a greater evil; [Name] thinks this is what Dazai meant when introducing them to such a wicked theory. a sigh tumbles from their lips, "it's not okay, but it's necessary." it burns on their tongue, rotten words they should swallow.

they purse their lips and clasp the collar around Atsushi's neck. somehow, they wince harder than him.

Dazai Osamu has completed his plan.

he hits the ground, blood splattering and staining the ground a crimson red, because even in death, Dazai can't keep himself from being a nuisance. his body twitches as the last remnants of life slip away from him.  it's unexpected—not that he managed to fulfill his own goals, but the way he chooses to celebrate. in the moment, [Name] thought their words were ironic. as they catch a glimpse through the corner of their eye, they think they spoke too much.

they freeze, shoulders taut. with wide eyes, they find Chuuya's glare across from them, seemingly just as perplexed. both turn towards the wall of windows; neither dare take a step closer to confirm their suspicions.

"…Chuuya-san," [Name] speaks up with a hesitant tone. Chuuya doesn't answer. "Chuuya-san, was…" their voice trails off, unsure of what to say in the face of suicide. "Chuuya-san, was that Dazai-san?" by the time they manage a coherent sentence, Chuuya is no longer by their side.

[Name] watches from up high in an empty hallway. from this height, Dazai's bleeding body is nothing more than an ant out of line. they sigh heavily, eyes closed. they clap their hands together and say a short prayer for the life that now sleeps forever in solitude.

—あごす (agosu) • 2023

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME quick fast. last night we watched tng's "gambit part ii" and ds9's "cardassians"

gambit part ii (tng):

well, this continued to be underwhelming and frustrating for reasons outlined in my previous post

i will cop to maybe not following the plot as closely as i could have been but i thought the artifact turning out to be a weapon was fucking stupid, especially considering it was a Mind Weapon. girl what on earth. we didn't even get to visit vulcan properly

i DID however call that vulcan racefaking as romulan which i was quite thrilled about

vulcan race purity extremists right as we're having bajoran race purity extremists in ds9...girl what is in the water out there. everybody calm down. globalization (galaxization?) is not the end of the world

i did perk up a little when riker was forced to play his literal charade with other people, such as worf and beverly, but it was so brief as to be nearly insulting

this is the only time i think i have not sided with data in an argument...i don't think there was any reason to take poor worf to the woodshed like that :( i'm glad they're still friends though

cardassians (ds9):

oh i had STARS in my eyes this entire episode. i have been COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS until we see garak again and he did NOT disappoint

from what i saw of gifs i never expected his and julian's relationship to be like this...i expected julian to be mister stammery and for garak to enjoy making him squirm. which would have been great and i would not object to it in future content but what we got was a welcome surprise in that it was way more complex!!

like, julian as the garak whisperer...sisko didn't summon garak to his office directly he told julian to have garak there at a certain time. "he never tells me what he's actually thinking i just sort of deduce it"etcetc. i also like julian instinctively knowing when to let garak come to him and when to be firm with him ie stop the whole fucking shuttlecraft until his ass gets some real answers. we havent seen much of his bedside manner yet so to speak but he actually CAN be good with people! or maybe just good with garak

i can't wait to find out more about garak. the worst part of a garak episode is knowing now you have to wait a long time until the next garak episode. i love that he deliberately keeps us out of the loop even though i am DYING to know everything about him. you get the idea that he's really been through something

side bar how and why is he able to get into julians room in the middle of the night???? did julian give him the door code jic 👀other side bar i love this mans little silk pajamas. actually everybodys pj game was on point

cardassian war orphans FUCKED UP. no one is coming to take them back to cardassia, except the one who doesn't want to go. i am SO relieved they didn't pull a tng here by the way. going in i was almost sure they wouldn't but still

bonus points for obrien being fantasy racist in front of his japanese wife. she used her teacher voice to set him straight and not another word of that came out of his mouth for the entire episode. one that man knows about happy wife happy life. two it's a good callback to him also having a card in the cardassian-hating game. pretty sure we said "that was a very ugly thing you just said i dont need to hear it twice" about 1000 times to each other during the rest of the episode

my only gripe with this episode is that i would have liked to hear where kira comes down on this...this episode was very full and not really About her, but the absence of her felt very weird, especially when most of the cardassian stuff involves her so heavily. you can sort of guess where she'd stand ("if they don't like the way we parent they shouldn't have left them here and also we're being way nicer to them than they ever were to bajoran children") but i'd still like to hear it FROM HER. a shame we just didn't seem to have room

of course, i cannot possibly end this post without a shoutout to my very best friend sisko. my favorite sisko moment in this episode was his increasing incredulity when bashir interrupted his MEETING WITH A CARDASSIAN POLITICIAN to interrogate him without warning and then said "it was the highlight of my day. don't do it again." and then bashir did it again. my second favorite part was when bashir woke him up at fuck o clock and said he needed a runabout and sisko was like girl why and julian was like im sorry i have no idea and sisko was like well by all means. will one runabout do. like. he's so wry and sarcastic and at the same time so chill with breaking the rules when it matters - he trusts julian enough to know he wouldn't ask for a shuttle without a good reason and julian trusts him enough not to get mad at the request even when it comes at fuck o clock in the morning. like, he's so GOOD with his people and they respect him so much. im anxiously waiting for more sisko-centric content almost as much as i am for more garak content!!!

TONIGHT: tng's "phantasms" and ds9's "melora."

[zerobaseonefics]

okay so im going back to germany:(( i fell in love wirh paris and i spent over 240€💀 the people are so nice!!!(with an exception, i will tell you later) like omg whenever i said „je ne parle pas francais” they literally switched up to english (with sometimes not understandable accent but i still understood them) and yes im so in loveeeee with everything like the city ks maybe a bit dirty but like wverything else is really beatifullllllllllllllllllkuliljljkj

i ate an baguette that is cslled sandwich👲 but it was so cheap like BRO WHY IS MCDONALDS SO EXPENSIVE??? AND MACARONS (not in mcdonalnds) FOR 12€!!???? i still got them🤭 and like lost so much money in les halles and in champs élysées i didnt buy anything but a jeans jacket at the disney store for my lil brother (HES 5 MONTHS OLD) and i fell there so many times in love😔😔 like literally WATAFAAAAK… ans omg there was a guy next to us at the arc de theiuopmg or something idk and he smoke weed and played loud music💀 but he was a vibe!!!!! and there were everywhere soldiers and police officers with a like big big big guns😟 is was scared that they would shoot me but they didn’t🤪🤪🤪 oh and there was this on police officer let me describe him: he had hair something like jude bellingham but in uglier-prettier, so manyyyyyy muscles, tall, deep voice and hot looking like a good good very good looking face

there were so many people dressed so colourful😮😮😮 like literally that new to me

and in mcdonald’s i wanted to pay and i stood in the line and i was the second but another worker started calling me (i disnt know she was talking to me) and then another worker joined her calling me too and they were so annoyed by me and the way he said „mademoiselle“ to me sounded so sarcastic and mean😔😔 but like man i dont even understand what you’re saying to me…

overall i really recommend visiting paris 10/10 would be 12/10 if not the mcdonald’s rude people.

~🤍

bro that's the first time i hear someone say ppl from paris are nice LIKREJZJSJZJZJAJ

OMG I TOLD YOU ABT THE ACCENT WHEN THEY SPEAK ENGLISHFJZJJZZJZ

im shocked tho i thought sandwiches in baguette were something international...

NO CUZ LETS TALK ABT MCDONALDS PRICESJJFJDJS WHAT HAPPENED. i swear it was so cheap a few years ago and but now it's so expensive bcz of the inflation. ive never liked eating there, i'd go sometimes with my friends but it's not really my thing yk....... what was good abt mcdonalds was the cheap price for a food you could have quickly. but now it's expensive for not even a good quality so yeah it's not worth it anymore ✋🏼

ppl who work there i usually rude ngl but i kinda understand them because there is always so much ppl and they're in a rush . but it's annoying they took it out on you

i'm so happy you enjoyed the trip 🫶🏼 you seem to love the city sm i hope you'll be able to come back again in the future

[georgiaheartsdilfs]

→ last time sebastian s x f!reader

song : Infrunami - Steve Lacy prompt : you had recently visited new york and luckily you met sebastian stan, despite his famous reputation he insisted that since it was the first time you've visited NY he would show you around, that was until the day you left.

"will this be the last time we see each other?"

warnings

:

New York was beautiful especially in the middle of the night, in the two weeks i've been her Sebastian has showed me every food joint to every monument in new york.

I was sad when I realised that my flight back home to California, especially since in the small amount of time that I had known Sebastian he managed to find his way to my heart faster than any I've ever known.

With many sleepless nights came many restless days, but, Sebastian dealt with it by shoving food in my face. It was a dream come true to finally go to New York, then meeting Sebastian who I fell in love with the moment I watched Captain America was crazy.

I had been staying in a motel for a couple days before I met Sebastian, he had insisted that he showed me around the place and obviously at first not knowing who he was. I agreed.

"y/n come on, the beach is the best part in the middle of the night" Sebastian groaned on my hotel chair leaning his head back, I place my earrings in "Sebastian I can't swim" I say, of course I could but I hadn't even worked out for weeks if I even got into a bikini and noticed a hint of fat hanging out I'd get back into my usual clothes. "y/n no one goes to the beach at night, it will be me and you i promise" he said, he had been trying to get me to go to swimming with him for the past hour and a half.

"i'll do anything" he whines and I turn around "you get pasta for me and make it when we get back here" I point at him as he claps "deal, sold can we go now it's ten it will be perfect" he said standing up "let me get dressed" I sigh and he starts dancing.

He runs over to me grabbing me pulling me closer "hey siri play magic moment" he says tossing his phone on the bed next to us "dance with me" he says wrapping his arms around my waist "Sebastian I really can't dance" I mumble "you just said that about swimming yet you mentioned yesterday how great of a swimmer you are" he smirked and I roll my eyes wrapping my arms around his neck.

The dance was slow, usually I'd run away and lock myself in the bathroom but being here, with him, it felt right so I didn't fight it.

"Sebastian we have to go swimming, I want to go swimming" I say quietly looking up at him noticing he had his eyes closed "after this song hunny I promise" he said and I nod laying my head back on his chest as we continued to slow dance for the next three minutes.

"ok" he said "SWIMMING TIME" he yells throwing his arms up and I clap running to the bathroom to go get dressed, I put on my bikini top and underwear and look up in the mirror holding my stomach.

I walk out continuing to hold my stomach, Sebastian immediately noticed and ran over grabbing my hands "stop it, you're beautiful" he smiled giving me a confidence boost as I sigh looking down "dont question it" he says and I nod putting on my shorts and a shirt before grabbing a towel "race ya" I say "HEY" he screams as I run out the door to the elevator.

He catches up before I was able to even close the elevator door, he picks me up kissing my cheek and I giggle "no fair" I continue to giggle and he puts my down still holding me.

"so fair" he says pushing the button to the ground floor with one arm, the other still wrapped around my torso, since he was far taller than me he was able to use me as a chin rest and he did so for the whole elevator ride.

The elevator door opened and he races out running towards the parking lot, he was faster than me so by the time i reached the car he was already in and he had locked the car, I knock on the window twice and he waves innocently "I could easily just run back up and lock myself in the hotel with all your stuff" I say and he winds the window down "sorry i think you're locked out" he says and I quickly reach down unlocking the door.

Sebastian laughs as I get in and we drive off.

Winding the window down I hang my head outside, the new york night sky always amazed me especially the lights beaming off of the tall towers.

Sebastian placed his hand on my thigh, i think he liked me the way i liked him... I say I think because after tomorrow I could have just been the girl that showed him a good time without sex. Pulling my head back in to the car I turn to see Sebastian smiling "what are you smiling about it's my last day you're suppose to be sad you loser" I say "I'm just happy, i like it away from the cameras with you" he says not taking an eye off the road. "im bummed i have to go, i love it here" i say looking out the window holding Sebastian's hand "do you have a boyfriend back in california?" he asks and I look at him "yeah totally" I laugh and he quickly looks at me before looking back at the road "i mean if i was going to new york for no reason I'd not bring him" I say sarcastically. "don't tell me you have a girlfriend" I say and he laughs "of course not, im just curious we never really established friendships and all that you know?" he said "yeah no i know" I smile. "honestly, i don't think i could get a boyfriend" I say truthfully playing with Sebastian's fingers "why?" he said "I don't know I dont think i'm a lovable person" I say quietly "you love to hate on yourself huh" he says and I nod chuckling. "if i wasn't so bummed about you leaving, i'd so marry you" he said "i would marry me too" I say and he laughs as we pull into the beach, thankfully no one else was there "no one is ever here at night" he says reaching back for the towels and we get out of his car. He dumps the towels on the sand quickly taking off his shirt, I place my phone on a rock with the flash on recording a video. I had gotten a new phone last week since I lost my last one at an amusement park but I assume it was smashed by now. So since I had a lot of storage I thought I'd record and photograph every day I had with Sebastian so I didn't miss him as much when I left. "COME ON" he yells form the water "ONE MOMENT" I yell back adjusting the camera before taking of my shirt and shorts and running towards his, he opens his arms and I run towards his and he wraps his arms around me lifting me up before throwing me in the water "AAAAH" I scream before being fully submerged under the water. I stand up and look at him with a serious face and he looks at me with a concerned face, suddenly I splash him and he laughs grabbing me "SEBASTIAN IM SORRY" I squeal before kissing me on the cheek and throwing me back in. I stand up again laughing "god you're so beautiful" he says submerging his head getting his hair wet and then flicking it back "SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL" he yells and I laugh blushing. "come here" he says with his arms open again, I walk towards him laying my head on his chest. It seems that we spend most of the day doing this but it didnt matter. "god I wish you didn't have to go" he said kissing my head, I didn't want to leave but I had to. This was the only time I got off from work, as soon as I went back it would go back to normal, back to reality. "please dont go" he says grabbing my cheeks gently making me look up at him "i have work seb" I said gently and he looked at me sadly "i dont want you to go home and think I was that one famous actor that gave you a tour guide" he said and I moan closing my eyes "can we not think about it, my flight is like hours away" I say. He looks down at me still holding me, his eyes met mine despite all the waves hitting our legs the only things we were focusing on where each other. "fuck you" I say before grabbing him and kissing him, if I truly wanted something from this trip it would've been a friend but instead I fell in love, with somebody who i couldn’t have. The flash on my phone stayed and any car who drove past could see us right now, I pulled away and he smiles running his thumb along my cheek caressing it gently "people definitely saw" I say and he shrugs "doesn't matter" he said, I then tackle him putting him under the water. He stays under swimming towards me slowly like a shark when he jumps up to grab me he pulls me down with him. My body remains underwater as I poke my head up and see

Sebastian already standing up laughing "so what was that about the whole fuck me thing?" he said shaking the water out of his hair before pushing it back. "shut up" I chuckle "i'm so in love with you right now" he said staring at me with a gentle sweet smile, his cheeks almost as pink as his lips "don't you feel that way?" he asked still staring at me as I stand up pushing my hair back "yeah" i smile. "so don't go" he groans "i have to, besides there is someone prettier out there for you" I wink at him and he pouts shaking his head "i beg to differ, the prettiest girl in the world is right in front of me and then tomorrow she will be on the other side of the country" he says sadly. "you got to LA all the time Seb, I'll see you" I smile sweetly going over to hug him, he kisses my forehead one final time "what do you think the time is"?" I ask "hm probably twelvish" he says "we should go get food right, can you hear it my tummy its rumbling" he says and I laugh "same" and he grabs my hand dragging me out of the water. Grabbing the towels he throws his one over his shoulder before running back to me and wrapping my towel around me as he picks me up "let's go let's go let's go" he says excitedly. He gently places me in the car "my phone seb" I chuckle as he runs to the rock I had placed it on quickly posing in front of it and then grabbing it handing it to me when he got in the car. "FOOOOOOD" he yells turning the on the car immediately driving off, he opens Spotify playing infrunami which I had told him to be my favourite song I used to study to. I look over to him and smile as he grabs my hand kissing it gently, my other hand waving out the window "girl, you're the one i want, you're the one i need" he sings "i'm begging you please" I sing along "can you come back to me cause I was blind to see that you were right in front of me" he says quickly looking at me and then back to the road with a smile. By the time the song had finished we found a place that sold pasta, Sebastian ran out to order the food. Ten minutes pass and Sebastian gets in the car with a bag of food "HOTEL MOTEL HOLIDAY INN" he yells driving off. "two hours at the beach, i thought you didn't like swimming babe" he said looking over to me "eyes on the road young man, i love swimming just not here" I say completely ignoring the fact he called me babe. "i'll take that down for the next time I buy a house when we move in together" he says and I laugh "you really think i'd live with a famous actor, i'd have to get rid of my bucky shrine" I say jokingly "well why when you have a real life bucky right here" he smiles and I smile back at him. God, I was so in love with him. I don't want to go, I really don't. To be honest I shouldn't go but the job I have makes me happy... sort of. We get back to the hotel, racing each other to the elevator obviously Sebastian won despite carrying all the food. "No fair" I groan "you're way too fit for this" I say and he laughs "you'll win tomorrow morning I promise" he says and the elevator door opens. I press the button that goes to my floor and Sebastian laughs "what" I say "nothing" he says smiling at me "if you ever come to LA you promise to visit me?" I ask "you're actually like I wont call you every time I wake and every time I go to sleep" he says and I laugh. "you're so perfect y/n" he said as the elevator door opens and we walk down the hallway "thanks seb" I smile "no I mean it, all these woman you know they are beautiful sure but you, you're different to them you dont want to fit it because you naturally do" he paused. "you don't have to try to be funny in front of a guy because you just are, don't get me started on your humor and then you are just drop dead stunning and I want you to be my wife so so so so so bad" he says and I smile. We reach the door and I unlock it, Sebastian had been sleeping on the couch for the past few days that he had been staying although I insisted nothing bad could come out of two friends sleeping in the same bed. "you're being very vocal on your feelings tonight seb" I

say walking in dumping the towels in the washing basket "because tonight is my last night with you, what am i going to do just sit at my house and continuously look at all the photos i snuck of you when I could have told you how I felt come on LAME" he says and I turn around "You snuck photos" I say shocked and he chuckles going to get forks. He gives me a fork as we sit on the couch opening the food "who wouldn't" he said and I giggle. "if i asked you to marry me right now would you?" he asked and I look at him "if that means i get to stay sure" I respond and he looks over to me "STAYYY" he whines throwing his head back on the couch "I can't afford another plane ticket back seb" I groan "I also don't have any more off days" I continue. "I have money let me" he says "Sebastian Stan you have spent more than enough money on me shut up" I say and he shakes his head "you think this was nothing wait until our wedding" he says shoving some food in his mouth. My flight was in 8 hours and it just started to really hit me that I was going to leave the only person who made me feel normal, who made me feel loved. When I thought about it deeply it made me more than sad, it actually made me depressed. We had moved from sitting on the sofa to the bed because the TV there had a big screen "let's watch rush hour, I haven't seen it" he says and I turn to look at him "Your meaning to tell me you havent seen the famous Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker dancing to war!" I say and he shakes his head "you're so missing out" I laugh playing Rush Hour. By the time we had reached one of my favourite parts of the movie, the food had all disappeared and Sebastian and I were cuddling "OH OH WAIT ITS THE PART" I say getting out of his grip and standing up on the bed as he looks up at me "YALL HUH" I sing "WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR" I say dancing "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING" i say mocking Chris Tucker. Sebastian laughs looking up at me clapping "WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR" I point to Sebastian "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING" He laughs jumping up and dancing with me then the song finished and we fell back on the bed laughing. "i'm gonna miss this" I smile to him and he smiles back "I will too" he says sadly. We finish the movie and I look over to Sebastian who had fallen asleep, I dont blame him it was almost 2 and my flight was now in 6 hours, I had everything packed for the morning but I just wasnt ready to say goodbye yet. I stared at Sebastian who was lightly snoring and smiled, he had fallen asleep shirtless because it was boiling hot but then again when I asked him to hold me he did it anyways despite the body heat adding to the already hot temperature in the room. After a while I had fallen asleep.

This morning I was woken by my alarm, the moment I dreaded had come and even thought I had four hours of sleep that wasn't even the worst part of this morning. I turned my head to look at Sebastian to see him already staring at me with his cheesy smile, I rubbed the back of my hand along the bottom of his jawline smiling at him "don't go" he said caressing my cheek "i don't like the thought of you leaving me" he mumbled "nor do I seb" I said "will this be the last time we see each other?" he asked quietly "of course not love" I smile holding back the copious amount of tears prepared to flow down my cheeks. "it sucks, i've only known you for a week and a bit, but in that week and a bit i found someone " he said "I went to a carnival" he continued smiling "I watched Rush hour whilst eating pasta" he said making me giggle "but most of all i fell in love, with somebody who I can't even keep" he mumbled and a tear escaped from my eyes. "you'd think saying goodbye to my pet snake was hard enough when I had to let him go into the forest" I chuckle and he wipes my tear "nope" I say "this has to be the hardest" I continue, sighing in disbelief. "fuck that call me when you land" he says and I nod.

[tsumusamu]

nice receive [miya atsumu x fem!reader]

genre: fluff and (once again, a sad attempt at) humor

word count: 3.8k

summary: eight months into your relationship, atsumu takes you to meet his family. things don't go as planned, but of course, everything ends up alright in the end anyway. alternatively, miya atsumu adores you and his family thinks it's easy to see why.

warnings: uhhh implied sexual content at the end but it is like barely there ok

commission for @ muppetz (it wont let me tag for some reason ugh) thank you so much for commissioning me!

a/n: this ended up being way longer than the word count requested but that’s no one’s fault but my own because i dont know when to shut the FUCK up anyways i hope this one shot is enjoyable lol

content under the cut!

You literally never thought that you would ever end up in this situation.

"C'mon babe, why the long face? Ya nervous or somethin'?"

"No." You purse your lips, huffily averting your gaze from your boyfriend's smirking face.

"Ya don't needa be like that." Atsumu drapes an arm across your shoulder, pecking your forehead as a sort of reassurance. "No one could ever hate this cute face, after all." He accentuates his words by squishing your cheeks, drawing out a yelp of protest from you.

"If you keep talking like this, you're gonna jinx it, you know." Your words come out softer and more hesitant than intended, and you startled even yourself at how utterly anxious you sound.

"Yer gonna be fine. Trust me, I wouldn’t take just any random girl to meet my folks, and they’re well aware of that." Atsumu ruffles your hair.

"I just... I hope they're not..." You pause for a moment, trying to find the right word. "...Disappointed?" You grimace when your boyfriend suddenly throws his head back in such voracious laughter, that you swear you saw a few hysterical tears.

"Are ya jokin'?" he all but wheezes. "Yer the libero for the national volleyball team, for God's sake. If anythin', I'd be the disappointment here."

"'Tsumu — " you start, but he interrupts you by pulling you in for a comforting hug.

"Don't worry yer pretty head anymore, got it?" he murmurs into your ear. "Yer wonderful, and I couldn't be luckier to have ya. My parents are gonna love ya. Honest."

A small smile tugs at your lips as you reach around his back to hug him back. "I hope so."

A year ago, if someone had told you that you would end up having Miya Atsumu introduce you to his family as his girlfriend, you would've laughed until your ass fell off and your stomach ached like no tomorrow.

You had been absolutely overjoyed when you were chosen for the women's national volleyball team, and you were so eager to start playing with your new teammates that you had decided to attend the national team's training camp without hesitation despite your recent knee injury at the time. However, you completely overlooked the fact that you would be working with the men's team as well, which would've been completely fine... if not for Miya Atsumu.

When you first met Atsumu, he was the cocky, annoying little shit of a setter for the Japanese men's national volleyball team, someone who you were stuck training with for the next two weeks.

You still remember the first words he ever spoke to you.

"The hell are ya doin' there, lil libero? If yer not gonna be able to save the easiest ones, then ya might as well sub out."

You also remember the first thought you had about him.

'Prick.'

And the first words you spoke to him.

"Can't you look at this — " You had gestured angrily to the knee brace supporting you. "And take a fucking hint, or what?"

He had sent some unapologetic, biting words right back at you and that marked the beginning of the time you have had the utmost pleasure of knowing Miya Atsumu. The two of you had bickered rather relentlessly (not too unlike literal children, despite the both of you being well into your twenties) throughout the rest of the camp, and by the end, for some unknown reason through some unknown method, he ended up with your number.

He started texting you constantly, and as much as you tried to convince your foolish self that he was just a nuisance, you found yourself responding to his messages like an idiot anyway. Throughout the next few months, you learned that Atsumu was far more than just his overly confident demeanor; he's genuinely kind-hearted, down-to-earth, and actually kinda hilarious. And eventually — neither of you quite knew how — the two of you were staring across a table at each other in a fancy restaurant as if daring the other to blink and lose an unspoken game, on a first date that neither of you thought would go as well as it did.

A little over eight months into your happy and committed relationship, Atsumu suggested that the two of you go to his hometown in Hyogo for a weekend to visit his family. You had immediately agreed with his idea, excited to meet his parents and twin brother in person, but now that he's leading you out of your shared hotel room to go do just that, your stomach's knotting uncomfortably.

Atsumu's been nothing but supportive and comforting ever since you started showing that you're nervous to meet his family. He was always happy to provide a never-ending flow of cheesy words and warm hugs, but you're genuinely afraid of embarrassing yourself. You want to impress his family and not have them see you as undeserving of their son, who you truly care for from the bottom of your heart. Atsumu is your first long-term boyfriend, and you would jump off your roof if you managed to mess anything up during the visit to his folks.

The taxi ride to Atsumu's childhood home doesn't do much to soothe your nerves either, with you fiddling with your fingers the entire way through while Atsumu makes small talk with the driver. As the cab pulls up to the address that your boyfriend had provided earlier, you instinctively clench your fists so hard that you think you might bleed.

A look of alarm crosses Atsumu's face as he notices that you're still just as anxious as you were when you left the hotel earlier. He thought that the ride to his parents' house would give you some time to cool down, but that had clearly not been the case. His eyebrows furrow in concern as he reaches over to grab one of your hands in his, giving you a comforting squeeze.

"Just breathe, darlin'." He runs his thumb over the shallow nail marks embedded in your skin. "If it means anything to ya, my mom's a huge fan of yers. For real. I didn't tell ya this before, but she's especially excited to meet ya. Keeps yappin' to me askin' how I pulled ya." You flush.

"R-Really?" you stammer, wide-eyed.

"Really. Who wouldn't be a fan yers?" Atsumu grins, pecking your nose. "See, ya got nothin' to be worried about. Just chill out and be yerself, 'kay?" You nod, some of the tension releasing from your shoulders as Atsumu leads you out of the cab, hand still clutching yours.

You're feeling a little better now, though your thoughts are still running through your head at the pace of a mile a minute as you watch Atsumu pay the taxi driver and thank him for the ride. Atsumu's mother is my fan? Your ears start to heat up. I hope I can somehow live up to her expectations of me…

“Ma! We’re here!” Atsumu shouts at the top of lungs approximately one second after simultaneously ringing the doorbell and obnoxiously pounding on the door.

“Comin’, comin’, ya brat!” A feminine, yet strong voice hollers in return. You freeze on the spot, your mind going blank once again. It’s happening. It’s finally happening.

The door aggressively swings open, revealing a middle-aged woman wearing a pink apron and carrying a wooden spatula in her hand. Her dark hair is pulled into a bun away from her face and her eyes, the same chocolate brown as Atsumu’s, are gleaming with annoyance. She briefly glares at Atsumu for his rowdy entrance before her gaze catches onto you, and her entire face lights up with excitement.

“(L/N) (Y/N)! It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“M-Mrs. Miya,” you stammer out, trying your best to smile but you’re sure it looked more like a wince. “It’s good to m-meet you t-too.”

"Aw, hey now. What happened to my feisty girl? It's not like ya to be so lame.” Atsumu lays his forearm on your head, effectively using you as an armrest. You jerk away, scowling.

“Shut the hell up, asshat,” you snap without thinking. About half a second later, regret slams into your body like a truck. Oh, shit. I just called my boyfriend an asshat in front of his mother. You were about to run off into the streets in utter embarrassment if not for Mrs. Miya letting out a hearty laugh way too similar to her son’s and linking arms with you.

“No need to look so scared, dear. I don’t bite. And it’s good to see that yer willin’ to put this brat in his place.”

“Ma!” Atsumu whines, pouting petulantly.

“Yer really losin’ out with him though, y’know,” Mrs. Miya whispers to you as she leads you into the house by your arm. “I’ve got another son; Atsumu’s twin. Osamu’s quite well-behaved. If yer just likin’ the looks, he would be the better option.” You can tell she’s joking by the merry twinkle in her eyes, but instead of humoring her you end up shaking your head with a quiet chuckle.

“I think Atsumu’s perfectly good for me.” The two of you pause to watch Atsumu practically sprint into the kitchen, and a few moments later there’s an agitated yell as proof that he was on his way to annoy his brother. You smile. “He makes me really happy, Mrs. Miya. You raised him well.”

“Aren’t ya just the sweetest thing?” Mrs. Miya coos at you, pinching your left cheek. “And so pretty too. I swear ya could probably clobber my brat at volleyball as well. You and yer teammate… ah, Miss Amanai? The two of you always caught my eye while I watched yer matches. Make sure ya let her know.”

You blush a little and thank her, making a mental note to tell Kanoka that. She’d probably find it extremely amusing, especially since she was the one who had given Atsumu your number in the first place (which, as you had found out months later, was because he had practically groveled at her feet multiple times. Dumbass.)

“Come meet my husband, (Y/N).” Mrs. Miya leads you into the living room, where an older, balding man with rimmed glasses is quietly flipping through a book. He gives a start upon hearing your entrance, clearing his throat and sitting up straight.

“Ah, hello!” Mr. Miya greets you. “I’ve heard a lot about you! From both Atsumu and the missus.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Miya.” You nod once in a respectful manner.

“It’s about time that he settled down with a nice girl. Make sure ya keep him in line though, got it, missy?”

“Of course I w — “ you start, but Mrs. Miya is already dragging you towards the kitchen. You smile apologetically at Mr. Miya, and he just laughs and waves.

“Osamu’s makin’ dinner right now. He is such a hardworkin’ and dedicated boy. Both of them are, really,” she rambles. “But Osamu sure can cook a mean meal. He and his twin always used to fight over who’s the better cook. But I betcha Atsumu hasn’t touched the stove since he left for university years ago.”

You debate telling her that Atsumu had made quite a decent meal for the two of you just last week to celebrate your eight-month anniversary (which you hadn’t even known he remembered), but before you can formulate the right words in your head you’re suddenly shoved in the path of an unfamiliar man. Well, not really unfamiliar. He has the same face as the boyfriend who you see every day, after all.

Miya Osamu is (as expected) the literal carbon copy of Atsumu; same strong eyebrows, same hooded eyes, same angular jawline. The only thing that easily sets them apart is his black, ruffled mess of hair in stark contrast with your boyfriend’s bleached blonde.

Mrs. Miya pulls Atsumu away from the two of you, demanding that he help her with some mundane task, leaving you and Osamu by yourselves in the kitchen.

An easy smile graces his lips as he sticks out his hand. “Hey, I’m Osamu. Honored to finally meet the famous (L/N) (Y/N).” You smile back, gripping his hand firmly and shaking.

“And I’m honored to meet the famous ‘Samu.” At your words, Osamu bursts out laughing.

“Man, I don’t really let a lot of people call me that, y’know? But if yer gonna be part of the family, you could be an exception.”

“F-Family?” You pause, your sudden confidence dissipating as fast as it had come.

“Naw, no pressure. Just sayin’.” Osamu casually continues with his task of shaping onigiri. “I can tell he really likes ya.” You raise your eyebrows in curiosity without entirely meaning to. “I mean, we’re twins, it’s like a sixth sense. And also he never shuts up about ya when we text or call.”

“I hope you’re hearing all good things?” you quip jokingly.

“Oh, for sure. If I didn’t know who you were I’d think that he’s talkin’ about the reincarnation of a goddess with the way he talks.”

“Seriously?” You snort, and Osamu just laughs.

“So I’d like to ask ya the favor of continuin’ to take care of him. Guy’s just a huge ass baby. I can obviously see that yer good for him, though. He wouldn’t have stayed for so long if he wasn’t serious.”

The two of you briefly glance at Atsumu helping his mother set the table. They’re currently debating over whether Atsumu should go back to his natural hair color and “Stop makin’ yer hair look like fuckin’ straw!”

“He is a huge ass baby,” you start seriously, causing Osamu to smirk. “But he’s an honest and good person, so I’m not too bothered. I’ll take care of him, promise.”

“Thanks.” Osamu sighs, glancing rather fondly in his brother’s direction. “He’s an asshole, but at least he’s a redeemable asshole. I’m glad he’s finally got someone around to take care of him. Makes us all feel a little more relieved since he’s away from home.”

You suddenly feel warm inside.

Atsumu had been right; you truly didn’t have anything to be afraid of. The Miyas have been nothing but kind and welcoming so far, and they even seem to already have a positive opinion of you.

“Can ya help me carry these to the table?” Osamu holds out a plate of freshly-made onigiri.

“Ah, sure!” you accept hurriedly, taking the plate from him with careful hands. You take slow, calculated steps towards the dining room; the last thing you want is to accidentally drop any of the food.

Atsumu and his parents are already waiting in the dining room, and they all look up at you expectantly as you approach them with the onigiri plate in hand.

“Why, thank you, dear!” Mrs. Miya chirps. “Helpin’ Osamu out! How sweet of ya — “

She’s cut off as disaster strikes.

You trip on your last step to the table, causing a single onigiri to tumble off the plate and towards the floor. Your mouth drops open wide as you practically slam the plate down on the table and in practical slow-motion, watch the onigiri plummet down, down, down —

Then you dive.

You dive towards the floor, in the same manner as you do when you’re digging for a volleyball.

And you catch the rice ball in one hand, laying flat on your stomach. You have a moment of mental celebration; yes, you caught the onigiri! Then you realize that you look like a fucking idiot as you lay face down with one hand extended and clutching a rice ball like it’s your lifeline.

There’s a few seconds of agonizing silence.

You want the earth to swallow you whole.

There’s no way that you could ever show your face in front of Atsumu’s family or even Atsumu himself now; God you’ve never been more embarrassed in your life, and over an onigiri too —

“Nice receive!” Atsumu suddenly bellows, clapping his hands boisterously. “(L/N) does it again!”

His brother, who’s standing a few feet behind you with a platter of chicken skewers, pumps his free fist into the air and joins in with a “Hell yeah!”

Mr. Miya starts laughing the same loud Miya laugh that you’ve heard way too many times today, and his sons soon follow suit. Shame is still flooding your body, but now you’re realizing just how ridiculous the whole situation is and you resist the urge to smile at your own stupidity. As soon as Mrs. Miya recovers from her initial surprise, she comes to help you up, and you can tell that she’s doing her best not to laugh as well.

“Are ya okay, dear?” she briefly inspects you for any sign of injury.

“All good here, Mrs. Miya.” You smile, genuinely and comfortably, as Atsumu comes behind you to wrap his arms around you and peck your cheek, still chuckling with a small note of pride. “All good.”

-

“See?” Atsumu’s smug as hell as the two of you enter the hotel elevator on your way up to your room. Osamu had dropped you off so there would be no need for another cab. “I told ya that they’d fuckin’ love ya.”

“Why’re you rubbing in something like this?” You scoff, dodging when he tries to pull you into a crushing hug.

“Because I was right.” He smirks. You roll your eyes to heaven.

“Well, you can’t blame me for being nervous! I still can’t believe that none of them got upset at me for diving for a rice ball at the dinner table.” You groan, hiding your face in your hands.

“Nah, why the hell would they? It was cool. Yer cool, Miss National Team Libero.” He laughs, reaching for you again and this time you let him bring you close to him. “Besides, like I said before, who could ever resist yer pretty lil face?”

“You’re a hopeless asshole.” You sigh, and Atsumu of course just chuckles, his laughter vibrating against your ear as you press yourself into his chest.

“I’m yer hopeless asshole.” He pecks the top of your head. “C’mon, babe. It’s our floor.”

You hadn’t realized how tired you are until the two of you enter your hotel room and you see the large, inviting bed. You practically jump onto it, burying your face into a pillow. “Goodnight…” you mumble sleepily.

“Ya gotta go shower and brush yer teeth first, idiot.” A pillow smacks you in the side of the head, and you leap up with a cry of surprise. “Damn, don’t be so loud, sweetheart. It’s late, y’know. Don’t wanna get a noise complaint like last night.” You turn bright red at the reminder.

“Shut u-up,” you retort. “I told you that we shouldn’t have tried to do it on the balcony.”

“It was fun, though, y’know! An experience. And ya sounded like you were enjoyin’ it, anyway.” He chucks another pillow at you, and you yelp as it nails you in the face. “Now get yer cute ass over here, we’re gonna shower.”

“You can’t make me.” You stubbornly lay back down and close your eyes, and you had peace for all but ten seconds before Atsumu’s plucking you off the bed and settling you into his arms bridal-style. Your eyes shoot open in shock and you flail desperately. “Put me down!”

“No can do. I’m not sleepin’ next to yer stinky self tonight, darlin’.” Atsumu laughs as you scowl.

“The floor’s always open for you,” you snap.

“Aw, yer no fun.” He steals a kiss from you in the blink of an eye; the only evidence of there being contact at all is a tingling feeling on your lips. You feel your heart melt just a little more.

“Fine. After we shower, we go straight to bed. Got it?”

“ And brush our teeth. Yer mornin’ breath is bad enough.” He lets out quite an unpleasant squawk when you smack him lightly in the shoulder. “Alright, sorry, sorry.”

“Is this just your excuse to see me naked?” you tease him as he sets you down on the bathroom counter before immediately removing his shirt to reveal his muscled torso. He grins wolfishly at you and shrugs.

“And if it is?” Atsumu’s eyes are zeroed in on the small hickey he had left right below your collarbone last night, which is now visible thanks to the way your shirt had rumpled after he had practically manhandled you into the bathroom.

“Well, I won’t complain.” You follow his gaze down to your neck, before glancing back up to meet his eyes and raise an eyebrow at him. “If you’re going to make it worth my time.”

About an hour later, the two of you are lying in bed together, effectively tuckered out and finally ready to sleep. Atsumu’s strong arms are wrapped tightly around you like a protective cocoon as you snuggle your face against his chest. The slow, steady rhythm of his heartbeat rocks you towards dreamland, and all the worries from the past day are slipping away.

“Hey, ‘Tsumu,” you mumble against his chest. He grunts tiredly.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

There’s a small silence.

“...Thanks,” you finally say after a beat.

“Huh? For what?” he quips.

“For being patient with me today, even though I was so nervous. And for taking me to meet your family.” You crane your head to look up at him, contentment adorning your features. “I had a good time. I hope they don’t hate the idea of me coming around again sometime.”

Atsumu smiles that familiar smile, the smile filled with affection that others rarely get to see. His eyes are almost half-mooned with joy, his lips are curved up in genuine adoration, and his cheeks are flushed with color. You saw this smile for the first time when he set an incredibly low ball at training camp, earning the awe of everyone in the room, including yourself. Never did you think that you would ever have this expression of pure love aimed at you, nor did you think it would fill you with so much happiness every time you had the blessing of seeing it. He says nothing for a while, suddenly resorting to trailing kisses all over your face. You let him, closing your eyes peacefully as he showers you with his love, ending with one final peck to your nose.

“I'm sure they'd like to have you around again.”

And if Atsumu continues playing his cards right, he thinks there might be a possibility that in the next five or so years, you could truly become part of the family with a glittering ring on your finger.

Only time will tell if that possibility will ever come to fruition, but as you tilt your head up to give him one last kiss on the lips and whisper those three words to him, he knows for sure that he wants to continue building towards that future with you.

“I love you too.” He lets his eyes fall shut as well, before resting his chin atop your head and savoring the warmth of your body against his.

Only time will tell.

-

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[ynscrazylife]

Okay so I had an idea. Agatha x reader where they're both witches and not controlled by Wanda so they're undercover like agatha is in the show except they're wives. After Wanda has the twins agatha jokingly says something like "just imagine that being us" when seeing vis and wan looking after the twins or like "can't you wait until we have a kid/kids" sorta thing and r gets really nervous and starts acting kinda weird for a few days after. Agatha gets concerned something's wrong with r but isnt sure why but knows it started around about the same time Wanda gave birth and although she doesn't realise at first, especially after what agatha said. When she confronts r, r breaks down and starts crying because tehy really don't like the idea of having kids, not in the fact of they dont want to be pregnant or anything like that but they just hate the idea of being a parent at all even if the child was adopted. They've known this for a long time but never told Agatha because r was afraid she would be mad or not want to be with her anymore.

R tells Agatha and she says it's fine and has always been mutual on having kids like if she has them, great, if not also great. And then it ends with agatha consoling r and them just being cute. So basically a really fluffy ending. Sorry this is really long but I thought of it after a friend saying something about kids and that, like what I'm saying about r, I really don't like the idea of having kids. It just makes me really uncomfortable, not in a self doubt way or anything it's just really not my kind of thing. There's a good chance this probably goes completely against your thoughts but if you don't mind writing this I'd be really happy (but obviously okay if not) and I really like this idea in general. I love your writing, have a nice day (and again sorry this is so long).

It’s You and Me

Summary: Agatha comforts and reassures Y/N when it comes out that she doesn’t want kids.

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As Agatha sat on her couch in her home in Westview, a spell book open on her lap, she couldn’t help but come to a certain realization she had been ignoring which was creeping up on her for the past couple hours: she couldn’t solve this problem with a spell. 

Agatha had been noticing that for the past couple of days, her girlfriend wasn’t exactly ting like herself. Y/N had cancelled the date they had planned, wasn’t answering her texts like she usually did, and hadn’t come over to her house since . . . 

That day when they were at Wanda and Vision’s! 

Agatha and Y/N hadn’t been that fond of the couple ever since they realized how Wanda was controlling the town, but they had to play their parts. They were there to visit Wanda and Vision’s children who Wanda had just given birth to . . . but nothing had happened that day, right? They spent the whole day together . . . nothing would happen that Agatha didn’t know about it. 

Unless she was the cause of it.

Agatha played the day over and over again in her mind, nitpicking at every moment, determined to find out what had caused this. She had to figure it out at some point . . . she was Y/N’s girlfriend after-all! 

The brunette blinked and then her eyes widened like a light bulb had went off above her head . . . 

“Ohhhhh! They’re adorable, Wanda! Makes me think when Y/N and I will have our own kiddos runnin’ around the place,” Agatha had exclaimed when they entered the house and saw the twins, not thinking much about her words.

The second those words left her lips only someone who knew her well would notice the shift in Y/N. She immediately became quiet, still playing her fake role but not as energetic as she had been. Y/N had a muttered a “Yeah!” and put a smile on her face, but as Agatha imagined her face in her head, she saw how the corners of her lips were being pulled and how the enthusiastic glint had left her eyes. That was it. That had to have bothered her. 

But why? Agatha couldn’t figure that one out, and she spent the next half hour running through all the possibilities, but couldn’t it narrow it down to just one that felt correct. So, she decided to go over to her girlfriend’s house and ask. 

Almost ten minutes later, Agatha had put on her coat and was now knocking on Y/N’s door. After a bit, it swung open and when Y/N saw her girlfriend, the fake smile on her face fell and she gripped the doorknob, resolving to her gloomy look. “Hi,” she said, shortly and quietly, mirroring her texts as she leaned against the doorway. 

“Can I come in?” Agatha asked, not wanting to have this conversation outside. 

Confusion swept across her face but nonetheless she nodded and stepped back, opening the door fully so Agatha could enter and walking into her house. Agatha took it upon herself to lock the door behind her and follow Y/N, them both sitting on her couch in awkward silence for nearly a minute, which felt like forever to Y/N and just a millisecond for Agatha. 

“Y/N, I’ve been thinking about why you’ve been acting so . . . off. I realized it was going on ever since we visited Wanda and Vision and I talked about kids,” Agatha began, clasping her hands together on her lap and watching Y/N carefully. 

Y/N stilled, immediately knowing that Agatha had figured it out. She let out a short breath, not needing her girlfriend to continue, and slumped her shoulders, holding her face in her hands. 

Agatha watched her for a moment, not expecting this reaction. When Y/N picked her head up and Agatha saw the tears starting to stream down her face, the witch went into worry mode and stood up from her seat to sit next to her love. 

“Darling, what’s the matter?” Agatha asked soothingly as she wrapped an arm around her girlfriend, pulling her close. 

Y/N sniffed, wiping her tears away. “It’s just - when I heard you say that . . . I got worried that you wanted kids. We haven’t really talked about it, but . . . honestly, I don’t want to have kids and I haven’t wanted them for a while. I just got scared that you did and that it would ruin our relationship,” she said, rushing some parts out. 

Agatha took this information in with a breath, feeling awful that Y/N had worked herself up over this. “Oh, hon. I’m okay with having kids and I’m perfectly okay with not having kids, I’m so sorry,” she said, pecking Y/N’s lips. 

Y/N thought and then nodded. “You sure?” She asked, not totally convinced. 

“Yes,” Agatha said, smiling. “Hey, you wanna watch a movie?” 

Y/N smiled, too, and nodded. Agatha stood up to get the remote and get Y/N’s favorite movie on the television while Y/N got blankets, wrapping it around them both when the brunette sat back down. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with not having kids?” Y/N asked again a couple minutes into the movie. 

“Yes,” Agatha answered again, not being able to help a chuckle. 

Y/N nodded, satisfied, and kissed her girlfriend, and then allowed herself to enjoy the movie, happy to have the worries about their relationship behind her. 

[mypimpademia]

Worth It.

Shinso x reader

TW: Swearing, reader steals a man, pure bad bitchery

Note: this concept has been in my head for literal MONTHS and now I'm finally writing it bc i had no idea how to before (i still dont know how to write it as I'm writing this, I'm bouta wing it like a mf)

I made Intelli the mean girl for this fic bc she a bitch fr

A college AU but its hardly relevant + a lil smau

Towards the end of writing this, I started hating it. I'm so sorry😭

I recommend this song too bc this is where the idea for this fic came from:

This was getting annoying to watch.

How long was Hitoshi planning to stay miserable with that girl?

Intelli and Hitoshi have been dating for awhile now. You had honestly never liked her, but you just barely tolerated her for Hitoshi. But only a few weeks into their relationship, things went to shit.

Intelli became overly controlling over him, and even tried to force him to stop being friends with you, and some other people. You, being his best friend, told him to break up with her.

Of course, Hitoshi agreed that it'd be best to do that. But not even a few hours after talking to him about it, he came back to say it didn't go as planned.

Intelli was holding blackmail over Hitoshi's head, and posed a huge threat to his dreams of becoming a hero. Most of what she said she'd expose was no where near true, but with her intellect she could easily make people believe it.

But frankly, as their relationship went on, the sight of even a strand of her hair made you want to either puke or fight her.

"Toshi~" Intelli cooed, coming up behind Hitoshi and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Hitoshi visibly cringed, but tried to hide it as best as he could.

"Hey, babe." He boredly muttered, doing a terrible job at faking any enthusiasm.

Unlike your best friend, you made no effort to hide the disgust you held for her sheer presence.

"Y/n..." Intelli muttered, her tone dripping with distaste for you, making you scoff. "Mind if I steal Toshi for a bit? No? Thanks-" She attempted to drag Hitoshi away by the arm, but you placed a firm hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"I do mind actually, we were in the middle of a conversation before you interrupted." You told her. She chuckled, before tugging on Hitoshi's arm more.

"Yes, but he's my boyfriend-" She attempted to give reason for her to take him away, before even Hitoshi stopped her.

"I've got a project I need Y/n to help me on, I can stop by your dorm later though?" Hitoshi suggested, lying through his teeth.

Intelli's eyebrow twitched, but she gave in, letting go of his arm. "Bye, Toshi." She said, kissing Hitoshi's cheek and looking you up and down, before walking off.

"Sometimes, I can't tell if she's just plain a bitch or if she's secretly a dumbass." You sighed. "Maybe she's a little bit of both..." Hitoshi chuckled, making you laugh with him.

"You really need to find someone new." You told him, shaking your head. "I know, but I'd rather not chance losing my dream career." He groaned.

"True... Whats your type anyways? I know its not Intell anymore, she's probably traumatized you." You giggled.

"She did, but I think my type is someone who can really understands me, and someone I can have fun with." Hitoshi said.

"Like a best friend?" You questioned him. "Yeah, exactly like a best friend. That'd be my perfect version of a s/o." He replied, expression growing soft.

Since Intelli and Hitoshi's relationship had gone down hill, you've been there for him more than ever. It eventually lead to this unspoken romance that constantly roamed between the two of you.

But because of Intelli, neither of you pursued it, for the wellbeing of Hitoshi.

"Well, if I were you, I'd find someone and just make sure the bitch doesn't find out." You told him. But if you were being honest, it was more like a suggestion, because he really did need, and deserve someone other than Intelli.

"Like cheating?" He gawked. You were both thinking the same thing— Intelli would likely find out. But it was better than simply being stuck with her, so you nodded.

"Well, I'd at least make sure the other person knows. But it'd be worth it."

'I'm worth it.' You thought.

You sighed, looking down at your phone, the time on your phone displayed.

"Shit, I've gotta get to class, we've got a guest lecturing us and my professor will tear me a new one if I miss it." You told him, stuffing your phone into your pocket.

"See you later?" Hitoshi asked you.

You were about to say something about how he told Intelli they'd hang out later, but decided against it.

"Yeah."

◇◇◇◇◇◇

You sighed, feeling your tired feet throb as you walked down the hall to Hitoshi's dorm. Taking one of your backpack straps off your shoulder, you began rummaging around the pocket where you usually kept the spare key to Hitoshi's dorm.

You blinked, as you weren't able to find the key in the small pocket. You began searching your entire bag in the middle of the hallway, taking nearly everything out.

"Shit." You mumbled, thinking you had lost it.

Then you remembered, 'Thats right, I was in a rush this morning. Its on my desk.' You thought to yourself.

Like hell you were going all the way back there though.

You placed your items back into their bags, then pulled out your phone to text Hitoshi.

You hummed, rocking back and forth on your heels as you waited for the door to be opened.

A moment later, you heard the lock click, and the door swung open.

Hitoshi looked you up and down before smiling. Then looked both ways of the hall, before tugging you into the room and shutting the door.

"Why are you treating me like a side piece or something?" You questioned him.

He hummed in confusion as he locked the door.

"Does it feel like that? Sorry." He apologized. "What did she do this time?" You asked, referring to Intelli, as she wash the only person the put Hitoshi this on edge.

"She said if we were doing anything other than a project we'd break up, and you know what that means." He told you, shaking his head.

You hummed, and pulled out your phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked, peering over your shoulder.

"You'll see." You blunty told him.

You sent your message, and tossed your phone onto his bed.

You grabbed onto Hitoshi's collar, tugging him towards you so he was looking you in the eyes, making his breath hitch as his face tinted red.

"You're crazy if you think I'd get you snitched on." You playfully consoled.

"What did you do?" He questioned again, watching you flop down on his bed as you kicked off your shoes.

"I texted Monoma and Momo to post about a project on private snap that only has Intelli on it so that it'll be more believable." You told him.

Hitoshis eyes went wide, as he mentally questioned how you came up with that so fast.

You patted the space next to you, beckoning him to sit with you.

He sat down, shaking his head and laughing.

You and Hitoshi talked for hours and hours, but it each flew by. When you finally checked the time, you barely had enough time left before dorm visiting hours were over.

"What? Already?" Hitoshi gaped, as he watched you sling your backpack over your shoulder.

"Mhm." You hummed.

He groaned, clearly not wanting you to leave, but sat up anyways so he could come see you out.

Hitoshi unlocked the door for you, but upon opening the door, you were both met with an unwanted sight.

"Hey Toshi!" Intelli greeted, completely passing over you even though she saw you.

"H-hey, Intelli." Hitoshi spurred, trying to keep composure.

"I came to help on the project. Even Momo was complaining, so I thought you could use some help." She offered, clearly not convinced that there was actually a project.

But like you said, you weren't going to let him get caught.

"No, we finished it." You told her bluntly, folding your arms across your chest.

But clearly, Intelli didn't plan on letting up either.

"Well then, I could proof read the written portion." She insisted, taking a step towards you.

"We already did that already."

"Well I'm sure there are some mistakes."

"We triple checked."

Hitoshi looked back and forth between the two of you, silently preparing himself to break up a fight.

"You must not get what I mean—" Intelli straightened her posture more than it already was, and leaned towards you. "There's probably mistakes because it was you helping him." She mocked.

Hitoshi already had a hand reaching for your waist, ready to pull you back in a situation where you lunge at Intelli.

"You wanna talk about mistakes? How about we start with you, bit-" Before you could take a single step towards her, you were being pulled back by your waist.

"Watch your dog, Hitoshi." Intelli retorted.

Damn, was she lucky Hitoshi could hold you back.

"At least I bite, unlike some people." You shot back. She narrowed her eyes, leaning towards you again.

"Y'know Y/n, you're not as good as everyone thinks you are. Everyone thinks you're so great, and nice, but I know how you really are." She said.

"You only think that because everyone's not you. Its no goddamn wonder your blackmail folder is thicker than you." You hissed.

Intelli, clearly flustered that you even knew about her blackmail folder, stood straight again. She crossed her arms and cleared her throat slightly.

"You think youre so much better than me. A better person, a better best friend, you probably think you'd make a better girlfriend too, right?" She asked you.

"Of course I do, who the hell wouldn't?" You chuckled.

You felt Hitoshi's grip on your waist loosen. Either he was getting just as angry and was going to let you fight her, or he thought it the tension was thawing.

"Alright, since you're so much better than me, show me." Intelli insisted.

You smirked. "Alright, you asked for it."

Slipping out of Hitoshi's grip, you turned to face him.

His brows raised in surprise and confusion. And next thing he knew, you had him by the collar for the second time today.

But this time, your lips were pressed against his.

It took him a moment to process, but soon, he melted into it. Moving in sync with you, he placed his hands back on your waist.

As much as you wanted to continue, you still had to tell that bitch off.

Pulling away from Hitoshi, wiping away the string of saliva that connected your mouths, you turned back to Intelli.

You walked straight up to her, and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Toshi doesn't react like that when you kiss him, does he?" You hummed, hearing Intelli audibly gulp.

"Like you said, I'm a better person, a better best friend, and a better girlfriend." You repeated her words from earlier.

"I wouldn't lie to him, expose him, whether what he did was true or false, and i wouldn't hold him back from doing what he wants." You taunted.

"And the thing is—" You leaned in, next to her ear.

"I dont think it, I know it."

"I'm perfect for him." You whispered to her.

Intelli nearly toppled over in defeat, leaning against the nearest wall to support her body.

"Anyways, see you tomorrow, Toshi." You mused, before walking away.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

The next day, you met up with Hitoshi in your free time like usual.

You were aimlessly walking around campus, talking about random topics, laughing as you watched random people do stupid things, and just having fun.

Except now, you were hand in hand, and the air around the two of you seemed lighter. And the look of adoration you and Hitoshi shared was more evident.

But in the middle of it, of course, something had to happen.

Intelli had stopped you both in your tracks, her brainless groupies behind her.

"Did you know everyone is talking about you, Hitoshi? And with all the things they're saying... you might not be able to recover from it." She said snarkily.

"Not too worried about it actually." Hitoshi admitted, a slightly bored tone to his voice.

"Tch, well you should be. So tell me, was she worth it, Hitoshi?" She inclined.

Hitoshi looked over at you, a grin spreading across his face.

"Hell yeah."

[wkemeup]

Hi kas, i hate to ask but i need advice and when i browse your page your advice always seems so amazing! Sorry in advance if this is long, i noticed that your advice is usually much better when there are more explanations in the asks because you dont have to guess abt much. Also sorry if it seems not important but its eating away at me.

So, I'm an 18 turning 19 year old female with major attachment issues.

I spent a lot of this summer around my university campus and during the last 2-3 weeksof break, i noticed this boy i hadnt recognized was starting to be around a lot too.

Flash forward to when school starts, I've both befriended this man - let's call him Joe - and gotten his number. We've talked occasionally, not too much and we' ve called only twice. The first was to help Joe run lines for the drama club he's in and the second was supposed to be just to chat, one on one, but he ended up adding a few other people I've seen around school before that I suppose he's met.

Now the other night I was having a breakdown, and with my strong attatchment and trust in him (for no reason, might i add) I sent him something asking for advice. It wasn't a big deal or very dramatic, I'd simply asked Joe how to tell a friend that you're not as good as they think you are and how to keep a friend that moved somewhere that you can't visit. I also admitted worrying that he hated me, feeling that I'd messed up somehow.

He actually had some great advice for me and confirmed that he didn't hate me, but also putting in that our relationship will most likely end soon because we don't know each other very well, we won't be able to meet up often (his father is a professor and he was only visiting to see family), and he doesn't see a point in keeping up a relationship with someone he doesn't know all that well and won't really have to oppurtunity too.

I thanked Joe for the advice and then asked him if there is anyway i can change his mind about ending our relationship so soon, promising that I'll open up the more time we spend together and that calling is always an option I'm up for.

He said yes, but he wasn't sure because it's his first year of university and he might be busy. He then offered to chat the next day, since it's right before school starts and he'll have time.

So we scheduled a call and I was happy. Except today when I called and texted him to ask if he was ready or needed to reschedule, he ignored me. When I checked back a little while later, I see that he read my messages around an hour after I sent them, but no reply.

Now I'm tempted to ask him if he's sure he's okay with continuing this relationship, because I'm scared he said yes only to spare my feelings. But then why would he have offered to call the next day if he didn't really want to be friends any more? And his reply seemed so genuine, with that enthusiasm and happiness that was so Joe.

I'm at a loss of what to do and my therapist is busy for the next few weeks. Should I send it? Just ignore him until he does anything to reach out? Or give up hope altogether?

As for why he agreed to still be friends and talk the next day, but ignored you... we can't read minds so we can't know for sure exactly what is going through his head. I will say that you're both young and it's possible he just doesn't have the maturity or communication skills to be able to say that he's not interested in moving forward. He could also have been busy? But the fact that he clearly read the messages and chose not to respond, could also mean that he's ghosting you. Which is a shitty thing to do, but it happens to the best of us. It says more about him than it does about you.

I'm sorry this happened, because it's obviously upsetting for you. But as you said, you have an attachment and trust in him ("for no reason"), so maybe this isn't about Joe himself at all. And rather, just about validation and friendship at baseline. We can't control how other people react or what they do or say. We can only control our own reactions.

He knows where you stand on this. That you want to remain friends/continue the relationship. The ball is in his court and whether he chooses to reach back out or not is on him. Again - it's not a reflection of you. Sometimes people come and go from our lives and there's no fault or blame.

Try using soothing self talk, breathing skills, or whatever skills you usually talk about with your therapist. Remind yourself that you can't control his behaviors or what he wants, and that you are a perfectly whole and valid person whether he reaches back out or not.

Hope that helps!

[collegecoward]

Hey, so I graduated this past May and since then I've just been working 40 hours a week. I feel like I need to go to college to do something with my life but I feel like theres so much in my way and I havent done anything to even start and I dont have a clue what I'd want to do. I'm so unsure on how to do anything regarding financial aid or even applying to colleges. I'm also worried that it wouldn't work with my schedule for my job. I work 5 days with 2 off days and I'm on evenings so I feel like I wouldn't be able to balance work and school, but I would have to bc I'm my only financial support. Sorry for the dumping my problems, but any advice?

How To Do College 101

Congratulations on your graduation! Working a full-time job after graduation (during a freaking pandemic, no less) is no small feat either, and I applaud you for that, too. Once upon a time, I was like you: I didn’t know anything about college except that I wanted to go, and now I run a blog telling people how to go to college. College might be strange and unfamiliar now, but in time, you will learn how to do it! 

This might be my longest post, so strap in for a fun ride!! My answer comes to you in three parts:

How To Do Community College

How To Do University

How To Do Financial Aid

P.S. I’m going to say this only once, but feel free to ask why: Do not attend a for-profit college. Okay, now onto the basics!

How To Do Community College

I encourage you to read my Ode to Community College. Community colleges are real colleges designed for people who are low on funds, are working or have other responsibilities, don’t know what they want to study yet, and/or don’t know how college works yet.

Step 1: Applying

Community colleges accept anyone who applies, and the application is usually just like filling out a job application, but you will also need to send in your high school transcript, and I recommend sending any test scores. Your college may have you take a placement test to see if you’re ready for college. If you’re not quite ready, they may have you take some pre-college courses in English or math before you officially start a degree program.

Step 2: Choosing a Degree Program

Among other things, community colleges award associate’s degrees, which are essentially the first two years of a bachelor’s degree at a four-year college or university. You’ll take introductory classes like English, math, science, and social sciences, as well as electives (i.e. fun classes). Here’s a list of programs that might be offered at your community college.

Step 3: Taking the Right Classes

Make sure you stick to your college’s degree plan so that you take classes that 1) count toward your associate’s degree and 2) will transfer to a university. Most classes you take for an associate’s degree (AA, AS, or AFA) should transfer to a bachelor’s degree (BA, BS, or BFA) easily enough, but sometimes universities aren’t very transfer-friendly. The best option is to transfer to a university that has a partnership with your community college, which is information you should be able to find on your community college’s website. If your community college doesn’t have any partners, you’ll want to research the transfer policies at the universities you’re interested in and follow their guidelines on what classes to take.

Step 4: Transferring

In your last year of community college, you will apply to a four-year college or university for your bachelor’s degree. You’ll need to pick a major when you apply because for the next two years, that’s what you will be studying. Make sure you tour the university before you attend and get acclimated before your first day! 

How To Do University

Whether or not you attend community college for the first two years or enroll directly into a four-year college or university, you’ll want to understand how to navigate the basics as early as possible.

Step 1: Exploring Your Options

Use my Self-Reflection Toolkit and this quiz from Marquette University to explore potential majors. These are just meant to get you thinking and guide you as you learn more about yourself and your interests. This process will take time to research and figure out, and if you enroll directly into a four-year college you can change your major after you apply. As I mentioned, the first two years are mostly basics and figuring stuff out, so either way you have time. 

I was very bad at choosing colleges to apply to and applied almost at random. I learned a lot from those mistakes, and on my FAQ page you’ll see me trying to impart that wisdom on others. I recommend doing your research, going on virtual tours, and getting used to just looking at college websites, even if you don’t know what you want yet. Start by window shopping for colleges in your state and see what they have to offer you. College Board also has tools for finding a college that fits your needs. It’s worth starting as early as possible, and I know that you can do it. Like I said, I was really bad at it and I still made it through.

Step 2: Applying

Applying to a four-year college will take more steps than a community college application. Many colleges require letters of recommendation, essays, and application fees (look on their websites for fee waivers). More information is on my FAQ page, of course, but be prepared to complete these steps before application deadlines. Each college sets its own deadline, but if you want to go next year, you’ll likely need to apply by January or February. Applying can be daunting, but you will need to do it at some point, even if you go to community college first. 

Step 3: Finding Resources

Access any and all resources your university offers, which will include advising, counseling, career services, and more. The same is true at a community college, but I would argue it’s even more true at a university. You might find out about internships, research opportunities, fun events, and all that stuff that excited you when you saw it on your university’s website! Even if you don’t feel like you need resources, you’re paying for them, so you might as well use them! Often people won’t know how to help you unless you tell them you’re struggling, like how you told me what you’re going through and I wrote a post that’s turning into a short novel! (I’ll be done soon, I promise.)

Step 4: Taking The Right Classes

Just like at a community college, you want to make sure you’re taking classes that count toward your degree and interest you. Make sure you’re following the prescribed degree plan on your university’s website and communicated by your advisor. If you find that you’ve chosen a major that doesn’t fit your interests, make sure you speak with your professors, your advisor, and anyone else whose opinion you trust.

How To Do Financial Aid

Step 1: Understanding The Basics

There are three major types of financial aid: loans (money you have to pay back after you graduate), grants (government money you’re awarded based on your financial need that you don’t have to pay back), and scholarships (money from a college or other source that is awarded for any reason that you don’t have to pay back). Loans might come from the government, your college, or a bank. I recommend borrowing from the federal government because the interest is so low (basically, it’s cheaper to pay off than a bank loan).

Step 2: Filling Out FAFSA

If you want to go to college next fall, or if you just want to do a practice round, fill out FAFSA now. I’m assuming you’re under 24, so you will need your parents’ tax information even if they’re not going to help you pay for college. Filling out FAFSA will never, not ever ever ever require you or your parents to take out any loans. Rather, FAFSA gives you access to any need-based financial aid you might be eligible for, whether that aid comes from the government or not. Loans agreements are a totally separate form, and you can take some loans without your parents’ help. If you’re not eligible for FAFSA, check whether your state or college has its own FAFSA alternative.

Step 3: Reading Your Award Letter

After a college sends an acceptance letter, they will also send a financial aid award letter. The letter will show you how much you’ve been awarded in scholarships and grants and how much you can take out in loans from the federal government or the college itself. You should compare your financial aid amount to the total cost of attendance, will you can find on the college’s financial aid webpage. The total cost of attendance is how much it costs to pay for tuition, fees, housing, and a rough estimate of your other living expenses. Basically, it’s how much it costs to be a student for one year.

As you said, I wouldn’t expect you to be able to work 40 hours while maintaining good grades, so may need to be frugal and creative to fill in any gaps financial aid didn’t cover. Private colleges tend to have a really big “sticker price,” but may offer generous scholarships as discounts, whereas public colleges tend to be cheaper and may have (large and small) scholarships to help you pay.

Step 4: Applying

In addition to the scholarships that you may be automatically awarded if you meet certain criteria, your colleges may also have scholarships that you have to apply for by yourself. This information will be located on a college’s financial aid webpage. There are also scholarships from nonprofit organizations and businesses. Visit my resources page for info, ask people you know if they’re aware of any scholarships, ask your boss and coworkers, and ask Google for “scholarships in [your town].”

Okay, I threw a lot at you, but those are the basics as I see them! You can totally do this. It’s going to be a big learning curve, but the payoffs will be big. And you can always come back here for more advice and reassurance. I’m proud of you already for thinking of your future and doing what you can to support yourself and your learning.

[in-my-jamiebower-era]

Adore you. Rafe Cameron.

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: You’re a pouge and Rafe is a Kook. This relationship will never work, that’s why you hide it.

Warnings: A few curse words, implied smut, and probably grammatical errors.

Words: 4,500 on the dot!

A/N: Hey you guys! Sorry this took so long to post, I had to deal with a few personal things. All of you are incredible!! Y’all are so sweet!💕 If anyone has constructive criticisms or requests please don’t hesitate to message me. Also do you guys thing I should write for anyone else? Just message me what you think. I’m so glad y’all like my fics! Thank you for all the likes and comments!💓 Don’t forgot to TPWK!!😌🥺 (Dont hesitate to message me if you need to talk, I’m here for you!)😘

You’re a pogue. You live on the cut. You work at the wreck. You hang out with John b, JJ, Kiara, Pope, and Sarah. Although Kiara was your best friend. You had known her the longest. Pogues and Kooks aren’t supposed to be friends, much less associate with each other. Although, Kie and Sarah were different. They both proved they weren’t snobs and they definitely knew how to have a good time.

You really didn’t go to Kie’s house a lot but you did go to the Cameron’s sometimes. Sarah insisted that you and Kie came over today to help her pick out a hairstyle for midsummers. They both were Kooks so of course they were going, but you were a Pouge. That meant you’d either be working the event or not going at all.

All three of you were up in Sarah’s room talking of various hairstyles and makeup plans. They both weren’t excited about the event but to tell the truth that’s all you had dreamt of since a little kid. All you wanted was to be invited to that party, wear a nice dress, and dance as though you would never again. You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard Kie and Sarah bickering on which flower crown to wear. That’s when you said, “Hey guys I’m going to go get something to drink from downstairs, I’ll be right back.” They both nodded and went back to dealing with the crown.

As you were grabbing a can of cherry coke your hand slipped from wetness and dropped it. Then out of nowhere appeared Mr. Rafe Cameron. He grabbed it for you and said “next time try to be more careful” then he gave you a cocky wink. You blushed at his comment. He could obviously see the effect he had on you so he said “you’re adorable when you blush.” He definitely knew how to get you going. So you lent over and gave him a quick peck on the lips. He then deepened the kiss.

Walk-in your rainbow paradise

Strawberry lipstick state of mind

I get so lost inside your eyes

Would you believe it?

The truth is you and Rafe had been secretly dating for 6 months. You both knew how your friends would feel about it so you decided to keep it to yourself. Thing is you saw something different in Rafe. You weren’t exactly sure when you started crushing on him. Maybe it was when you would see him coming out of the water, glistening. Maybe it was when you found him one night I’m a rage and helped calm him down.

Just so happened one night at a boneyard party Rafe found you all alone sitting on a log, watching the stars. You remember the conversation so vividly “hey y/n what are you doing out here all alone?” You glumly replied, “Oh you know just living it up.” The conversation went on for a while until there was a comfortable silence. Although you believe that comfortable silence was so overrated.

You really weren’t the type to be brave and do something so daring, but at the moment it just felt right. You all of the sudden grabbed him from the back of his neck and attached your lips to his.

“Shit, Rafe I’m so sorry. It’s just I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. Maybe it’s the alcohol in my system or it just feels right. I really don’t want to ruin our friendship and I hope this doesn’t make anything weird. I know you look at me like a Pouge. I thought maybe if I did it you would feel the same way. I know it’s completely stupid and I’m so sorry.” He had a little smile playing on his lips. Then he replied, “just shut up and kiss me again.”

It felt like electricity coursing through your veins. It felt like butterflies were swarming your stomach. He grabbed around your waist to pull you in more. You gently tugged at the end of the hair, which in response he let out an almost silent moan.

When you both pulled away, you were panting, instantly want more. “So I can’t help but noticed that you kissed me back. Does that mean you feel the same way about me?” He was trying to catch his breath. He finally was able to say “I’ve felt the same way since that day you comforted me after my dad was on my case.” You were incredibly happy but at the same time wondered why hadn’t he just said something.

“Y/N, your eyes are beautiful. Every time I see them I get so lost in them.” You started to blush with butterflies forming in your stomach, once again. He lifted his thumb to his lip and gently wiped “strawberry lipstick, you should wear it more often. So every time I kiss you, it will taste this sweet.”

You don't have to say you love me

You don't have to say nothing

You don't have to say you're mine

You were immediately startled when Sarah came into the kitchen. How long had you been thinking about that night at the boneyard? Suddenly she ran and gave you the biggest hug with Kie right behind her. They both were screaming nonsense. “SARAH CAMERON AND KIARRA CARRERA, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT!!?” They both looked at you with wide grins and Kie said “How would you like to go to midsummers with me.”

You couldn’t trust your voice, so you started nodding profusely. You all started screaming practically bursting your own eardrums. Wait. Rafe. You quickly glanced around to see him sitting there with the biggest smirk on his face. You couldn’t tell what it was for but you knew he was excited for you.

They both half screamed and half cried about going shopping. Seeing as though midsummers was in a few days. “Come on Y/N, now it’s time we pick out your hairstyle.” Oh God, you were not prepared for this. You told the girls you would head up in a second.

As soon as they left, Rafe was at your side. He held you in a tight hug that let you know he was very excited for you. You couldn’t help feeling a little bit sad that you weren’t going to midsummers with Rafe but you weren’t going to complain. “Y/N, I’m really happy for you baby. I know you’re going to be absolutely gorgeous, per usual.” You knew Rafe could read you like a book so he could sense a little disappointment from you.

“Listen to me Y/N, I know that it’s hard with me being a Kook and you being a Pogue. I know people say that the two sides shouldn’t be together but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I would never force you into anything you didn’t want to do. At any moment you could leave me. I know that I’m not as good as you. You don’t have to say anything, I just want you to know that you mean more than you will ever know to me.”

Honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

You kissed him on the nose. “Rafe, I care for you so much, and I feel the same way about you. I’m not going to leave you, baby, I-“ You were then interrupted by Sarah screaming your name. “I’m coming SARAH!” You kissed him in his forehead and told him it was going to be okay, and with that, you went up to the middle Cameron’s room.

Kie had a curling iron in her hair and told you to sit down. “So Y/N, I think we should go shopping later tonight because midsummers are tomorrow.” WHAT? You had thought it was in a few days, not tomorrow. You quickly replied “What are we doing just sitting here, there’s no time to do hair. I need a dress!!” You definitely had some money from working at the wreck. You knew you would need it for something special, this was definitely that occasion.

You slipped on your brown and navy sandals, screaming a Kie and Sarah to hurry the hell up. Rafe was on the couch scrolling through his phone, when he saw you he shot you a wink. Sarah and Kie grabbed their things and you all were out the door.

When you arrived at the first store it looked so surreal. There were diamonds and pearls everywhere. In the corners, there were long luxurious dresses. Nothing really stuck out to you but it was smart to try on dresses to get an idea of what you want. By the 5th store, you all were exhausted but Sarah insisted you tried on a long red dress with a slit on the left. When you zipped it up, you turned around and saw yourself in the dress. You were beautiful. You stepped out for the girl to see and they were ecstatic. That was the one.

On your way home you guys saw a thin red flower crown with a hint of green. You decided you would borrow Sarah’s gold heels. The outfit you picked was beautiful and you silently cheered knowing Rafe would see you.

You remember the first time you and Rafe almost got caught with each other. Rafe had texted you and told you to sneak over through his window. You had successfully made it but he had an unexpected visit from Kelce. So you hid in his closet trying to be as silent as possible while Kelce talked about some girl he fucked. At that moment you wished you were anywhere but there. When he finally left, after what felt like hours you just wanted to cuddle.

You laid on his chest, while he rubbed small circles on your back. Then he went into a rant of “he wouldn’t care if you guys got caught” and “he would walk through hell just to be with you” or “I adore you so much, baby girl.” You knew he was saying this because you had to hide in a closet for hours. You kissed his nose and said, “baby it’s fine, I made it out alive.”

Your wonder under summer skies

Brown skin and lemon over ice

Would you believe it?

When you, Sarah, and Kie arrived at the Cameron’s you guys were exhausted. Kie took off and said his parents needed her home. Then it was your turn to depart “by Sarah, I’ll see you tomorrow at MIDSUMMERS.” She elbowed you in the stomach. As you were walking out the door Rafe came out of nowhere and offered you a ride home. You gave him a confused look but agreed. Sarah of course thought nothing of it.

When you guys got in the car you said “Rafe, what if Sarah found out.” You knew that she probably hadn’t but it still crossed your mind. You were so deep in thought about everything that happened today, you didn’t realize the car had stopped. Wait...this wasn’t your house. “Rafe, what are we doing at the beach?” He grabbed your hand and happily said “thought we could spend some time together.” God, he was absolutely adorable.

As you ran out of the car to a place that looked secluded, Rafe let the moment sink in. You were really his. You looked beautiful under the sunset of the summer sky. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky or why he was blessed with you. His thoughts were soon gone when you screamed “HURRY UP RAFE, YOU’RE SO SLOW.”

You don't have to say you love me

I just wanna tell you something

Lately, you've been on my mind

When he finally found his way to the rock you were sitting on he said “Y/N, I need to talk to you about something.” He thought this was the perfect opportunity to pull a little prank on you. You looked at him with adoration in your eyes then suddenly they turned dark when he said the words “I’m back on coke, I relapsed.” You thought he was joking at first but this is something you guys don’t joke about.

Before you and Rafe were dating you knew he did coke. You knew that it was a daily occurrence. Everyone could see it destroying his life. It mentally hurt you to see him like that so one day you told him to decide between you and coke. That day he stopped, he’s been sober for 4 months. You told him if he ever went back to coke you were leaving him because it took a toll on you. It depressed you to see him like that all the time. All of a sudden your ears were ringing, you started to see red.

You started to talk then paused to keep composure. “Did you do it willingly?” He responded with “I’ve been doing it for a while, I’ve been visiting Barry and getting it from him. He was laughing so hard on the inside while your heart was breaking. You started to cry and sob because you knew he had just ruined the relationship. “Y/N! IM KIDDING, THIS WAS PRANK.”

You looked him in the eyes and replied “You’re disgusting, Rafe Cameron.” You hurriedly got your bags from his car and started walking to your parent's home.

“Y/N, please. Wait. I just wanted to play a little joke on you. I didn’t mean any harm.” You were relieved it was a prank but you were furious. It had caused you so much pain before. You didn’t want to see him or talk to him. “Rafe if you care about me, you will leave me the hell alone this instant. With that, he drove away. He fucked up bad and he knew it.

Honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

You went home and furiously slammed the door to your room and started sobbing. How could he pull a joke on you like that? Maybe you were overreacting a little but when he was on coke it killed you on the inside. You had seen your boyfriend slowly killing himself. Even if I was just an innocent little prank it still brought back memories. These memories were the ones you wish you could forget.

Your phone started buzzing in your pocket. You knew who it was but you couldn’t talk to him, not right now. You sent it to voicemail and he called back 1...2..3..4..5..6 times. You just decided to shut off your phone and take a shower. When the heat of the shower hit your back it instantly soothed you. You took about 30 mins just to relax, then you got out and did your nightly routine. You curled up in your bed and finally turned your phone back on.

You were in shock there were tons of missed calls and texts from Rafe. There were only a few texts from the rest of the Pogue group chat. When you went to Sarah’s messages it said “hey, did something happen with you and Rafe because he’s been a crying mess since he got home.” You instantly replied, “nothing I can think of.” It hurt you that you made him feel that way but it wasn’t your fault. He really hit a memory inside that you wished to forget. You decided it was best to call him back.

You called and the phone rang for half a second before he was on the line. Y/N? His voice cracked, he sounded like he had been crying for hours. “Yeah, Rafe it’s me.” You could hear him exhale on the other side of the phone in relief.

“Listen, baby, I’m so sorry for pulling that stupid joke on you. I really didn’t mean any harm. I know that something that I’m not supposed to joke about and I don’t know why I did it. I know the mental toll it took and you. I felt so bad knowing that you were at home sobbing your heart out and I couldn’t hold you. Y/N, please I would do anything to make you stop hurting. Please forgive me? I swear I’ll be more careful.”

You sighed knowing he had no bad intentions. “Yeah Rafe, I forgive you. Just please don’t even joke with me like that again. You know that broke me into pieces.” He replied, “I promise, I promise, I will never ever do that to you ever again.”

Then he said “so can I come over because I still feel bad and I really want to see you.”

You thought this was the perfect time to tease him, “you can see me tomorrow when I come over to your house to get ready for midsummers.”

He huffed in annoyance, “but I want to see you now!!”

“Byeeee Rafe, I’ll see you tomorrow!” Then you hung up on him. You could imagine his face at that moment, shocked but wanting more. It was late so you decided to go to bed, trying to contain your excitement for tomorrow.

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

You woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. There were only a few people it could be but you secretly hoped it was the eldest Cameron sibling. Nope, it was actually the middle Cameron sibling. You saw a text from her that said “Get your lazy ass over here, we’ve got midsummers to get ready for.” You groaned, eyes still puffy from crying last night. So you got up brushed your teeth and got dressed. You grabbed your bags from yesterday then headed to the Cameron’s.

You dang the doorbell several times and you heard Rafe holler, “I’m coming, chill out.” He definitely didn’t know it was you, he probably assumed it was Kie or something. When he opened the door his face went into a frown. He sees your puffy eyes and palish face from crying. You gave him a small smile and you were about to say something but Sarah came to the door and dragged you upstairs.

She had her hair done and she makes up done. She looked absolutely gorgeous. You always wanted to be as beautiful as the Kook princess. She told you countless times you were soooo pretty but you were just very insecure. “Okay, so how should I do your hair?” I think just leave it down and straighten it. So you went and took another shower, you made sure to moisturize and all that good stuff.

Sarah sat you down at her vanity and started blow-drying your hair. After she was done with that she plugged up the flat iron. She suspiciously went and closed her door then she said “Y/N we need to talk.” Oh God, not that sentence again.

“So what’s going on between you and my brother.” You practically choked on your spit and said “what do you mean.” She looked at you with knowing eyes while continuing to do your hair.

“Y/N, I’m not stupid. I see the glances you give each other. I hear him talk to you on the phone, all the time! He was crying last night and this morning you show up with puffy eyes! I’d rather you tell me then lie to me about it.” She had an expression you couldn’t read at the moment.

“Okay Sarah, you want to know? Rafe and I have been seeing each other for a few months.” Her mouth dropped. Then she put on a little cocky smile of hers.

She screamed “I KNEW IT!! I mean I didn’t know it but I did know it. Y/N, if you really care about him then I’m not mad. I don’t know why in hell you would want to be with him but that’s your choice. I’m really happy for you.” You got up and hugged her really hard. She was so sweet. You muttered, “Sarah you are amazing.”

You decided you wanted a snack before you got your make up done. So you and Sarah went downstairs and you decided to get an apple. You saw Rafe sitting at the bar, so you decided it would be the perfect time to get him back for his “prank.” You made sure Sarah was in the room then you went up to him and kissed him. He didn’t push you away, he only deepened the kiss.

You pulled away and said, “you know your sister is right there, right?” He glanced at her and said back “I really didn’t care, if you wanted to kiss then we were going to kiss.”

Sarah eyed both of you and said “hey, just because I know doesn’t mean you two can get all lovey-dovey. I going to go and give you guys a minute. Y/N come upstairs when you’re done.” She then went back upstairs.

Rafe looked at you and said, “so you told her?”

“No, I didn’t, you’re just not good at hiding us.” He elbowed you then you giggled.

His face went serious. He looked at you for a second then said “I’m so sorry for what I did yesterday. I felt horrible. I thought you were going to break up with me, even though you should’ve. I really shouldn’t have done that. It hurt me so bad to know you were crying and I couldn’t comfort you.”

You looked at him with testy eyes and said “it’s okay baby.” He got up and hugged you so tight.

He wasn’t letting go so you had to say “alright I’m going to let Sarah do my make up now. I’m going to get dressed.” He gave you a kiss and then you were off to go.

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

Oh, honey

Before you knew it you were dressed and people were arriving at the house. You weren’t going to lie, you looked really good. Kie suddenly swung open the door to Sarah’s room. She saw you and her jaw dropped, “wowww my date looks hot.” You giggled and grabbed Kie’s hand.

You both walked over to where Pope was working and decided to chat. People were staring at you and it made you uncomfortable. Although there was nothing you could do so you just decided to have a good time. You heard applause and you turned around to see what all the commotion was about. Then you saw him.

He was with the rest of his family, he looked miserable. Then your eyes met and his face visibly heated up. He had a baby blue suit on, he cleaned up really nice. To be honest the entire Cameron family looked like they were out of a photoshoot. You gave Rafe a small smile and he was blushing, it was obvious the effect you had on him.

Ward gave a small speech then the Cameron family went all separate ways. Topper and Sarah were arguing about something. Pope and JJ were working. Kie was with her mother and father talking of God knows what. Then it was just you. You gasped when you felt someone come up behind you and say “want to dance.” It was Rafe.

“Rafe, you know we can’t dance. People will find out about us.”

He looked at you with a small smile and said “maybe I want them to know.” You eyed him suspiciously then you decided he had no alternative motive. Well, it was time. He took your hand and you both walked over the dance floor. Your hands were around his neck and he had him on your waist.

“Rafe...people are staring at me.” You said quietly. He leaned down and whispered in your ear “Well let them stare, you’re beautiful.” Then he kissed the top of your head.

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

After a few dances, you decided it was time to go back to your seat. Kie rushed to your side “so that’s new?” Then Sarah replied, “no it’s not, it’s been going on for about 4 months.”

You turned to her and said, “actually about 6.” They both looked at you shocked. Kie had a blank expression and she looked at you and said “why him?” You knew that was a loaded question. There were so many reasons you chose him. Maybe it was that he was a generally kind person once you got to know him. Maybe it was the fact that when your asleep he talks to you, but you just pretend you’re asleep. Perhaps it was the way he changed when he met you. He no longer bothered the Pogues, he was off the coke, and he learned to control his hot head.

There was only one thing that could possibly explain it “I chose him because I love him.” You smiled there way. They looked at you with a startled expression, then behind you with a startled expression. They both snickered, then ran off. You stood up and turned around and Rafe was standing there with a startled expression. “Shit” was all you muttered.

“Y/N, you love me?” You muttered sheepishly “yeah I do”

Oh, honey

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

“Y/N, I think. NO. I know I love you too” You gave him the biggest smile. You lent in and kissed him, people started staring. There were oohs and ahhs, some even gasped. He whispered in your ear “want to get out of here?” You smiled and gave him a yes. He took your hand and you both headed towards the beach.

He could tell you were having a hard time walking with your dress and all so he grabbed your bridal style. You both settled on a pier looking over the water.

You were watching the water but you could tell her was staring at you. Then he said, “I hope our kids never have to hide their love.” Wait did he just say, kids?

You turned and looked at him “our kids?”

He looked at you sheepishly and said “yes I want kids, do you?” You leaped up and attacked him with hugs and kisses. That was a definite yes. “I love you Rafe.” he smiled into your lips and said, “I love you too baby.”

He truly adored every piece of you.

@drewswannabegirl @snkkat @nina1800

@drewsephsmiles @annedub @peoples-trash

@obx-direction-sos @lahey-paradise

@girlsru1eboysdroo1 @gimmethejohnd

@elegant-daisy @sortagaysortahigh

@afterglowsb-tch13 @country-club

@starrystarkey93 @trashmouthpogues

[dontreadthistrashgarbage]

Pt.3

Seyoon was unpacking all the late night snacks he had gotten onto a blanket at a secluded rooftop. Hearing footsteps he looked up to see Guerin, who looked different than usual. She didn't appear to be wearing any makeup, had her normal stud earrings but had a cute black mask with a white sharp toothy grin. She was dressed in joggers and a sweatshirt with the hood up. He cocked his head at her as she approached.

"I know, I look like shit. But it was late and I'd already gotten ready for bed. You can't expect me to spruce up after that." Guerin guessed at his expression.

"You look fine. Cozy. It's just different. Also you're late." He shrugged and patted the blanket next to him, sitting as he leaned against the wall behind him.

"I got lost..." she grumbled, "I've never been great with directions." She sat down in the spot he indicated, looking over the spread he had brought, "Good grief I thought you just wanted tteokbokki."

Seyoon smiled automatically, "You said you hadn't eaten, and I know how much you like food so I thought I should get some options." Guerin leaned her head in his direction and offered a wry smile under her mask, unable to argue with his logic. "Besides, I got this for us too." He pulled out an additional bag, from which he drew two paper cups, a bottle of soju and two cans of beer.

Guerin raised her eyebrows and sat up straight, "Oh we're drinking too?"

"We have to. It goes well with tteokbokki, fried chicken and jajangmyeon." He shrugged nonchalantly as he began opening everything up and handing Guerin some chopsticks. "Although it's blueberry soju. I thought you might like that."

"How did you figure that?" She asked, sneaking a piece of tteokbokki and pulling her mask to her chin to eat it.

"Well you said before you liked Grapefruit and Plum but I couldnt find it, so I thought blueberry was the next best option." Seyoon shrugged, separating the cups and pouring soju into them, handing one to Guerin and offering his as cheers.

She laughed in response and took her shot, "Honestly I dont know how that train of thought lines up but you aren't wrong." She watched as Seyoon refilled the cups and couldn't keep the grin from her face, "You really went all out for this, it's awesome. Thank you."

He shrugged again, looking up at her and their eyes met briefly before both looked away to select food options, "Food makes things better." He said simply.

"Cheers to that." They both took another shot and then ate in silence for a while.

"So... how are you?" Seyoon asked awkwardly, unsure of how to broach the subject.

"I'm fine, all things considered." Guerin said almost mechanically, "I keep telling people that."

"Okay... but how are you really?" Seyoon asked again, leaning back to look at Guerin. She sighed and set her chopsticks down and didn't speak for a moment.

"Well. What do you know happened?" She asked finally.

"I know you were attacked by that crazy lady. I know you were arrested but you were cleared because of video evidence. I know that she is being charged by the company. But I also know you haven't been with HEET lately." He trailed off.

Guerin reached over for one of the beers. Seyoon cracked it open and put it in her hand, grabbing his as well while she took a sip, leaned back against the wall and looked up at the sky.

"Yeah. We were worried something might happen again. So part of our plan included recording any more altercations that might occur. Self defense laws are tricky and it's usually one person's word against another. Plus as a foreigner, and a big one, we knew some witnesses might not provide unbiased information." She paused and took another sip, "The boys were so brave, they did exactly as they were supposed to. That woman had some gross stuff in that present too. Police said it was unwashed underwear, a vial of blood, another of spit..." she scrunched her nose, "stuff like that."

"Sounds like you guys have the law on your side." Seyoon said, waiting for more information.

Another sip and pause before she spoke, "Yeah, we do. We're able to press charges. The company is suing her. She might see jail time. They even made me go to the hospital to make sure they had a medical report for the court."

"Wait medical report?" Seyoon looked over at her, surprised, "What happened?" Now that she had pulled down her mask and he was looking closely he saw the cut and slight bruising at the corner of her mouth as she smiled dryly and tapped her cheek.

"I let her hit me. I figured if she looked unharmed and I was injured it would go better for us too."

"You're crazy." He sounded almost admiring as he leaned in closer, "Let me see that, does it hurt?"

"It's fine, I've been hit in the face many times, and she's probably the smallest adult that's ever taken a swing at me. It doesnt hurt at all. OW WHY?" She flinched and cried out as he poked the bruising.

His eyes widened and he let out a snort of laughter, "Doesn't hurt at all?"

"You little shit." She laughed and smacked his hand away from her face, "Of course it'll hurt if you press a bruise."

He giggled again, "Sorry. It does look like it hurts a lot. You should maybe stop letting people hit you in the face."

She laughed, "Well it hasn't always been a choice, this one was though."

"So... there's more right?" He asked after their laughter had subsided.

Guerin avoided his eyes by taking a longer drink from her beer, "Yeah. There's been some blowback. Some false stories have gotten out and theres some people that claim I'm making a bad name for HEET or that I was the one who started it, that I instigated a fight or was being rude to a fan. There's quite a lot that demanded I be removed as manager, actually."

"So they caved?" Seyoon asked disbelievingly.

"Well. Kind of?" Guerin sighed, "I've been temporarily removed. Right now with the case going and the false information it's actually less safe for HEET to be around me in case someone tries to target me. So until things are officially able to be released..." she stopped talking abruptly blinking rapidly, trying to hide it with another long gulp of beer. "It's not like I've been fired. I'm grateful for that. Another company would probably have written me off as more trouble than I'm worth. They have me doing other work right now but... I liked my job. I loved my boys, and looking after them." She couldnt hide the tears running down her face now, and didn't bother to try.

Seyoon floundered, watching her face then looking around before seeing napkins and hurriedly handing them to her. She smiled and thanked him, dabbing her cheeks half heartedly before giving up and chugging the rest of her beer through her tears. With an unconvincing smile she looked at Seyoon, "So that's what I mean when I say all things considered. I'm fine."

He didn't saying anything right away, pulling his long shirt sleeve over his hand, he leaned over and dabbed at her face to dry it. She started to pull away, shocked, but he reached out with his other hand and held her in place. "Hold still." She didn't fight back, he was so close and so handsome she couldn't help but feel somewhat transfixed, despite her stomache dropping and heart pounding, all she could do was freeze until he let her go. He picked up his chopsticks, selected a large piece of fried chicken and put it to her mouth, which she accepted without complaint.

"It's okay to be sad when bad things happen. You don't have to lie to everyone." He paused and added quietly as though he wasn't sure he should be saying it, "You don't have to lie to me."

Guerin choked, "Oh my god." She swallowed as soon as she could and laughed, "Are you using lines on me to seem cool? Is this a drama?" She laughed again.

"Yah." He protested, "I was just trying to be supportive."

Guerin laughed again then fed him some tteokbokki, "You're as adorable as a cicada." She said and pinched his cheek.

"I am so much more handsome than some bug." He protested around the food in his mouth.

"Of course you are." She put a shot of soju in his hand, cheersed and downed hers. He followed shortly.

"Thanks though." She glanced at him, "It means a lot."

He playfully shoved her and stole her chopsticks, which started a whole new bickering fit.

Charlie had been working up the nerve all morning to talk to her boss. It was a privilege to be allowed to be so hands on with animals and she didn't want her boss to think she was taking advantage... but it was such a cool opportunity. She had to at least try.

"Byun Minsoo-ssi." She lead off tentatively. The lead vet looked up from her paperwork. Perhaps she looked stern simply from Charlie's point of view but it was just as believable that she was no-nonsense in everyday life as well.

"Yes? Charlie-ssi?"

"I have a friend who is a manager for an idol group, she is friends with a group called A.C.E and I wondered if they could come behind the scenes to meet some of our animals?" Charlie ventured cautiously.

Minsoo paused for a moment before speaking "A.C.E? Your friend knows A.C.E? And they want to come here?" Her attempt to play it cool was poorly hidden and gave Charlie confidence.

"Yes! I'd like to invite my friend Guerin and A.C.E to come and see what we have. I think it would be an excellent opportunity to promote the zoo and educate on the importance of conservation!"

The normally serious Minsoo beamed at Charlie, "That's an excellent idea. Let's get in contact and organize something."

Charlie did a mental fist pump and hustled off to message her friends.

Deciding to keep the visit informal allowed the planning process to go more quickly. Approval from the higher ups and organizing with Beat Interactive took a few days. Guerin has been allowed to come as a personal guest for Charlie and A.C.E who requested she tag along. Guerin, never passing up a chance to visit the zoo, happily accepted. Charlie hoped it could provide her friend with a genuine mood boost. Guerin tended to internalize her negative emotions but Charlie could tell she wasn't her usual self.

"We'll do formal filming in the behind the scenes areas, but then we'll allow you to do your own self cam work throughout the areas of the zoo the public has regular access to." Minseok explained as A.C.E got last second touch ups.

"What animals are we seeing today?" Asked Chan excitedly. They were in the vet and quarantine areas so it was unpredictable what had been planned for them.

"It's a surprise." Charlie said, the most excited A.C.E had ever seen her.

Byun Minsoo would be taking the lead in speaking for the cameras but suggested Charlie stay by to help handle animals and manage the guests. Minsoo might be strict but she was fair, knowing Charlie wanted to do this with her friends she wasn't going to exclude her.

Guerin was hanging back with Minseok as preparations were made. "Noona do you know what we're gonna see?" Chan tried to wheedle from her, pouting slightly. Guerin stared pointedly away from him.

"Don't pull that cute stuff on me, I can't tell you." Of course she knew what animals Charlie was working with, she couldn't let some aegyo spoil the surprise. Chan pouted more and shook his shoulders in a small tantrum.

"Alright that's enough." Minseok stepped in before Guerin could cave, he redirected A.C.E to the main area so they could begin filming. The recording started with a tour of the facilities, showing equipment and how to accommodate all the different animals they had based on type and size. They explained the importance of training animals to participate in their own veterinary care voluntarily then showed them a video example of a mountain lion presenting for a blood draw, and a gorilla opening it's mouth for its teeth to be examined, or a macaque presenting its arm for an insulin injection. Minsoo continued to talk about the research and breeding that the zoo participated and how it was vital for conservation efforts and how it benefitted animals in the wild.

The boys were perfect guests, asking questions and reacting well. They saw a few animals in the quarantine area, new to the zoo and waiting to be introduced to their new homes. The last area they were taken to was for longer term housing for animals that couldnt be in the usual enclosures. A spot had been sectioned, layered with blankets, plushies and other toys. The boys, perplexed, were instructed to go in and sit down with Minsoo while Charlie disappeared momentarily. She returned with an inauspicious crate, facing it away from A.C.E she opened the door and sat with Minsoo, both grinning for the surprise.

Two young tiger cubs tottered they way out, mowing. The trepidation left A.C.E as they all exclaimed in amazement and adoration. Minsoo and Charlie showed A.C.E how to bottle feed them, then let them take turns.

"Their mother was a first time mom, and she wouldnt take care of them." Minsoo explained as the boys cooed sadly, "It's not unusual for that to happen with new mothers even in the wild. But since we are here we made the choice to step in and help raise them." Once the babies were fed they were left to roam and play. One clambered into Jun's lap and fell asleep, the other playing with a toy with Donghun and Byeongkwan. Jun couldn't control his face, his amazement and joy at being chosen as he got everyone's attention and pointed to the sleeping kitten. Seyoon and Chan scooted near him to pet the sleeping animal. Charlie couldn't stop herself from grinning, Guerin knew at least part of it was Jun's reaction and not just the cute tiger cubs.

Once it was time to say goodbye to the kittens, A.C.E did their formal goodbye with them and the filming for behind the scenes ended. The rest of the staff and guests got an opportunity to greet the tigers as well and once Guerin had her turn she flagged down Charlie as the babies were taken back to their enclosure. After a brief talk with Minsoo who let out a restrained laugh and nod, Charlie and Guerin went to a series of smaller tanks on the opposite side of the room, Guerin returning with her hands closed suspiciously.

"We have one more animal for you to meet." Charlie said with a chuckle. Donghun was the only one with the good sense to he suspicious.

"This is one of my favorite animals." Guerin said with a grin, uncovering her hand and showing a large male Madagascar Hissing Cockroach sitting placidly in her hand. All five boys instinctively recoiled, Chan and Jun exclaiming in surprise. A.C.E's reaction elicited chuckles from most of the staff if they werent busy being disgusted themselves.

"It's okay guys. They're harmless!" Guerin said holding it up. Donghun and Jun recovered the fastest, still looking apprehensive and surprised respectively. Chan was behind Jun, leaning around him curiously but still looking fearful. Beyongkwan, eyes wide, didnt move forward so quickly and Seyoon was the furthest away had a very subtle terror that could only be read in his eyes.

"They're really cool, they're called hissing cockroaches cause they hiss!" She gave the cockroach a light pet down it's back which caused it to take two steps forward and hiss quietly as it protested the contact. The boys jumped again. "So insects dont have lungs, they breath through small holes along their body called spiracles. These guys have evolved to force air out of those holes to make a hissing sound that they use to communicate to each other or even predators! Their mouths are too small to bite us so they're harmless!" She was so enthusiastic in the explanation it couldnt help but draw the boys curiosity. She explained how to tell males from females and how most cockroaches are pests at all and how vital they are to the environment. Eventually Donghun worked up the courage first to touch it when offered. Jun became somewhat enamored and greeted the insect before he touched it, but jumped when it hissed before laughing at his own reaction. Chan actually opted to hold it and Byeongkwan even moved forward but Seyoon stayed in the back.

"Come on Hyung!" Chan called to him, looking more closely at the cockroach.

"I'm just looking at stuff over here you guys go on without me." Seyoon said, pretending to examine equipment near him.

"It is kind of cute." Jun admitted, petting it again, still jumping slightly when it hissed.

"On a scale of Seyoon to a Cicada how cute is it?" Donghun joked causing Jun, Chan, Byeongkwan, Guerin and Charlie to laugh.

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: [sends her the posts because no other way she'd see them] Rio: Shit, girl Rio: I was worried it might go down like this Indie: she's so extra Indie: never should have let him in the door Indie: the feds are gonna be hardcore @ it now Rio: Surely she let him out Rio: stupid woman Rio: but that's gonna pale in comparison now so Rio: What's Drew doing about it? Indie: boy was begging for a sick time & i gave it but its on me not him 😒😒 hold ur liquor u tourist Indie: hes flat roofin but other than that no thing to 👀 Indie: it b early tho & we all had a late Rio: They're a 24/7 services though, babe Rio: he'll be wanting to move his stash and generally clear his act up for the visit Rio: you too Indie: is it? on hols too thats a madness Indie: yeah the drum be clear of all his goods like that Indie: idk man mayb its chill like she gonna post that & not post up no harder than Rio: They might take xmas day off maybe but you know Rio: business as usual for all jan 1st Rio: well that's something Rio: maybe, but bitches like that LOVE making complaints about everything so maybe not Indie: she do have that talk to the manager vibe Indie: i done fucked up real didnt i? Rio: big time karen Rio: nah, in the eyes of everyone it's Drew that did Rio: but they won't be able to prove the drugs bit if they're gone so it's not enough to take you, a party gone wrong, bad judgment but maybe we can swing it that he was here somehow Rio: hmm Indie: but like he had mad trust for me & i brought him mad problems Rio: they're grown problems, he's big enough to fix 'em Indie: u too making ur nite go off on a real turn Indie: bet ur boy is bare vexed Rio: you know i'd rather you ring me than let it go more tits Rio: what are big sisters for Rio: but yeah, didn't even see him in the end so he ain't stopped Indie: innit Indie: tell him he can hit me up for something to take off that edge Indie: debts be paid around here Rio: um you ain't supposed to have no thing 'scuse you Rio: there's a plan here Indie: i gots places & heads to trust in Rio: nah, I'll make it up to him, don't worry 'bout that Indie: 😉😉😉 Rio: 😏 shush lil girl Indie: grown problems ur big enough to fix i kno 💋🤤🤤 Rio: so thirsty, go hydrate Rio: know you need to 😘 Indie: rude i got lipsed by bare boys last nite they were rigging dem bottle spins cos im 🔥🔥 dont b tryna put me out Rio: you need to cool off for a minute, bitch Rio: you in trouble Indie: not wit u Rio: yeah, don't push it 😉 Indie: 💔😢😢 dont do me like that on day 1 of the year 🙏🙏🙏 Rio: it started HOURS ago and I was still here with you cleaning blood out the carpet Rio: don't talk to me about day 1s when I'm clearly ride or die Indie: u kno im good for ious & i got mad love Rio: 🧡 Rio: i'm good really Rio: let's sort the actual situation Indie: u gonna charm the social for me? Rio: give it my best Indie: safe ✌✌ Rio: probably the straightest middle-aged lady Rio: so more likely your da will have to get on it Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: what drew b good for Rio: init tho Indie: we all been knew Indie: he better werk so it works Rio: Sure it won't be too hard, like Rio: even if she ain't all that 😂 Indie: she aint gon b bangin but his exes show he aint need that to chirp on Rio: 👀 Indie: 😂😂😏😏 Indie: can u roll up wit eats im about to die Rio: bit rude to both our ma, like lmao Rio: 'course Rio: bring leftovers Indie: ur ma dont count as no ex cos she ✖ed him out Indie: & my ma got that permanent ✖ so bigger problems than my shade innit Rio: no problems when you an 👼 Rio: fucking hopefully Indie: u my 👼 bringing that energy Indie: that means u can jam Rio: is it? Rio: 😏 Rio: let Ryan know eh Indie: he kno u a 😈 too Indie: how he be livin Rio: mhmm Rio: well he gon' have to wait for now Indie: he gon have beef wit me Indie: soz boyyy Rio: nah we was already beefin' 'fore this Indie: yeah? Indie: what he do? 👀 Rio: nah, what I do more like Rio: you know I'm 😈 Indie: o shit Indie: gimme that 411 Rio: nothing exciting Rio: just be looking too bad to be giving him that much air, you know the drill Indie: hes so hyped for u Indie: its been weeks boy no u cant cuff it Indie: who u think u is Rio: can you blame him Rio: hot property, baby Indie: u did look 💣💣💣 last nite my bad Indie: theres a boy @ school tryna chat @ the rest hes my bf so i feel it fr Indie: boy please DO I LOOK LIKE Indie: not tryna hold ur damn hand Rio: is he cute tho Indie: if he werent he wouldnt be able to chat no thing Indie: 💪 fuck him up Rio: 😂 Rio: gotta 'tect the rep Indie: he kno it tho & its like tell me how 🔥🔥 i am dont b talking on urself all the time Rio: not a mood Indie: innit Indie: dry as Rio: that's boys for you Indie: & he didnt show last nite Rio: playing hard to get or just got parents who give a fuck Indie: year up x 2 so he could come thru the ends whenever Indie: but i 💋 all his mandem so itll hit back Rio: play @ his own game  alright Indie: do u think i went too hard tho? Rio: do you want him to be your mans or nah Indie: idk Rio: then it depends Rio: beyond knowing he loves himself, idk how he's vibing Rio: might be too far Indie: hes vibing like hes about me but i Rio: but you? Indie: how do i live that Indie: trust it Indie: drews meshing a new every week he says u gotta keep free on it Rio: works for him Rio: everyone's different Rio: you don't have to trust him yet Indie: mayb hes only about me til i give him something & im not tryna be a show like that Rio: that happens, not gonna sit here and lie and say it don't Rio: you're too young to be thinking on that or worrying Rio: keep him and the rest waiting Indie: yeah okay Indie: gimme a few to have puberty roll up Indie: still waiting on that Rio: it'll happen Rio: not that it's a barrel of laughs, like Rio: nothing to be hyped about Indie: i dont want it Indie: freaky shit going on Rio: unless you gonna stop eating, which unlikely Rio: you fucked, babe, we all are, soz Rio: get boobies though, perks Indie: that best not be you tryna skip on bringing me a meal bitch Indie: bout to hit the afterlife running here like Rio: 🙄 omw you rude ass hoe Rio: like you said, none of us had earlies Indie: omw fr or like when u tell ur mans u @ the club but u still tryin on fits in ur room Rio: like fr when I ever done you like that Indie: dont b starting Indie: ily Rio: 🤞 never Rio: ily more Indie: drews back if u wanna spit at him how to sort his life Rio: i will Rio: he ain't ready for this Indie: resolutions b dashing past this postcode we all avoidin that change Rio: you gotta Rio: sort you both Indie: hey swerve me im good Rio: 😏 Rio: fine i'll focus on your daddy Rio: no love for you Indie: 👼👼🤞🤞 Indie: call him that when you give it & he'll give in Rio: oh you schooling me on how to get blokes to do what I want now Rio: ok miss thing Indie: just him i 👂 what i hear & i kno what i kno Indie: hes here for all that Rio: you poor child Rio: anything grosser than parents going at it 😬 Indie: nah man its nasty & long being under this roof sometimes trust Rio: 🤢 Indie: some of his girls got me tempted to 📱 the social my own self & my ma looking like a saint Rio: that ain't right Rio: negates any buffness he got going on Indie: why lads wanna get on or under ANYTHING?! Indie: true madness Indie: 😂😂😂 Rio: friction 🤷 Indie: yeah but like theres girls out there bringing it & you're gonna hit that Rio: he probably ain't got as much choice as he fronts Rio: lots of grown women ain't about his lifestyle so that leaves him w the younger ones who is Rio: stick at it too long, you get busted, just facts Indie: when you old & so is your baggage 😂😂✌✌ Rio: I mean Rio: I ain't say nothing 😉 Indie: keep that ☮ mama Rio: least he looks p young still Rio: nothing worse than an actual creepy old man dealer Indie: do he? 👴 to me Rio: nah Rio: he only what, 31 Rio: that's no thing to me, gurl Indie: mayb im just 🍋 cos he aint tryna gimme no 💸💸💸 Indie: & he aint caring my head hurts Rio: aw bb Rio: 'round the corner Rio: I'll look after you Indie: 💖💖💖 Indie: u didnt tell me it b like this tho partying Rio: didn't think i had to be that quick with the warnings Rio: next day hurts Indie: always? Rio: 'less you prepare and do it right Rio: it can be bearable Rio: better than you feeling, no doubt Indie: how i do that? school me yeah Rio: 'course Rio: on the to-do list now Indie: we doing the next as a back to school thing so you got a few to bring me up Rio: you best be doing it at some other fucker's gaff and all Rio: giving me grey hairs 🙄 Indie: 😂😂✌✌ Indie: imma make that boy host it Indie: if he love me Rio: You're getting a chaperone regardless Indie: serious? Rio: yeah Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: don't start like you don't know why Indie: i aint trippin you are tho if u think i want a repeat Rio: what, you too cool for me now? Indie: innit 😏😏😏 Indie: but nah just Rio: you so is Rio: you think imma embarrass you in-front of your mans Indie: he aint gon b my mans if u there Indie: whos 👀 me over u Rio: nah don't be silly Indie: im being real Indie: ur 💣💣💣🔥🔥🔥 Rio: so are you Rio: and I don't think a lad who likes you will be into me Indie: every lad b into u they all chat on u fully 😍😍😍💘💘😍 Rio: sounds like plenty are into you too Indie: 😂😂 it was for the spin Indie: cant pussy out Rio: 😏 mhmm Rio: well I promise you I won't be joining in, like Rio: now come let me in if you got strength to get the door Indie: 💪💪 babyyy Indie: [lets her in cos fuck know what drew is doing, flexing in the mirror probably] Rio: [lol watch him rush out when he realize] Indie: [hears her voice & runs out pretending to be casual] Rio: [oh boy, do not deserve her sorting your life, temporarily, but it's for Indie so] Indie: [bless her she's dying rn & just wants to be snuggled cos literal child] Rio: [give them a sec 'scuse you sir] Indie: [I hate everything about this, Carly didn't die for this] Rio: [just making leftovers] Indie: [drew chatting to her like she's here to hang with him & we all know] Rio: [don't you touch caleb's food bitch] Indie: [is nothing sacred you slag] Indie: [indie just fully lying stretched out on the counter like its a bed like let me die] Rio: [getting a bag of peas or some shit in a tea towel and putting it on her head] Indie: [such a good mum but that don't mean you can step ma her drew] Rio: [not her fault she can converse more like a grown-up than you Indie: [we should send Indie running off to the bathroom no offense Caleb but I'm evil & wanna leave them alone for a sec for the mood] Rio: [shoulda gone to hold her hair but now you can level with him and he can pretend he's a responsible adult lmao] Indie: [& Ryan can be highkey & he can pretend he cares] Rio: [ah the joys]

[liltouch-moved]

hai io~! 🦋 ahh yea im.. not really big on films either hdhfh i just like to watch bad movies to laugh at w my friends hehe we watched the after series a couple of weeks ago and had so much fun dhfhd i never thought i'd say this but we're actually genuinely excited for the next movie to come out lmao studio ghibli is wonderful tho~! my favorites are spirited away and howl's moving castle but totoro is really beautiful too <3

ah our trip is actually planned for this upcoming saturday so we havent been yet ^^ last time we were in moscow we visited all the big touristy places tho so this trip will be less sightseeing and more about spending time w family i guess~ do you like to travel tho? i actually dont know if its summer where you live, but if it is, do you have any plans for the summer? ^^

"like meeting old friends after a long time" aww but thats actually so cute hdhfh <33 i have a somewhat similar story in the sense that i randomly discovered them around their debut, but at the time wasnt into kpop at all (i was in the middle of my punk rock phase back then dhdjfj). i just looked up the members and stuff cause i was curious, but then completely forgot about them until my sister introduced me to kpop around clap era and i looked up svt again, this time i was hooked <33 i remember it felt kinda funny cause i didnt know them but at the same time i kinda ?? did ??? so it was like Oh yea i remember this and this guy ! and yea i know this and this random fact about the group lol

youre so valid for biasing all the members ! theyre all incredibly lovely and talented <33 my bias... ah idek if u follow me but im scared to reveal too much and ruin the fun dbfjfn i will say that vocal unit is my favorite unit and my bias may or may not be in it (hint: he is) 👀

anyway sorry for babbling so much i'll try to keep my messages shorter next time hdhfh oh and yea the butterfly emoji is super cute, its perfect 🦋 <33 have a lovely day io~ ^^

hiii it's good to see u again 💜 i'll answer under the cut ~

first of all: please talk as much as you want, i love reading long messages and i’m curious about what u have to say! it really doesn't bother me at all <3

oh i don’t think i’ve heard of the after series actually 👀 watching bad movies can be so much fun ~ what's the trashiest (in the funny way) movie you've seen? oh omg yes spirited away and howl's moving castle are incredible ✨

i see <3 that sounds really nice too, you’ll have to tell me about it later then 🥰 yes i really love traveling ~ i haven’t been able to lately bc of the pandemic and my uni/work schedule but i really love exploring new places 💖

and yeah it's summer for me too hehe and no i don't have any super big plans... later this month i'm going abroad for a few days to meet family... and i really wanna go to the mountains, but i’m not sure if that’ll work out. wbu, any other plans for your lazy summer except for the trip?

wowww are stories really are similar then :o what a coincidence ✨ and don’t take this the wrong way but it’s funny to me that you found svt in the middle of your punk rock phase lmao like debut era svt... the vibes are complete opposite fdghjk it’s interesting tho that they still managed to catch your eye even when you weren’t into kpop! it must be fate ~ and clap was soooo good omg no wonder they won you over again! do you have a favorite era? or title track?

ah it's ok you don't have to tell me <3 if i ask smth that might give you away, you don’t have to answer ofc. i've seen other people do this too, so how about in the end of the event i try to guess your bias just based on your vibes? vocal unit 👀 noted ! 📝✍️ my fav unit is performance btw but vocal is a close second <3

hope you’re having an amazing day/night, stay safe 💗🌼

[tendercoretroglodyke]

we're planning the annual summer trip to our old family land in georgia to pack up the last of the two houses we (ie the extended family, collectively) owned and are now forced to sell bc other family members want rid of it and mom and I want to rent this cabin right next to where our old cabin was that my great great uncles built with their own four hands that we had to sell a few years ago and is now gone and probably replaced by some fancy summer house but there are 4 rooms and only 2 of us cos dad has to stay home with the cat unless the cat dies before then and we're like what a waste to spend so much on a house for just the two of us and I just really hate that what used to be such a nice big family reunion is completely ruined. it used to be me and my parents would come down and stay at my grandma's house with her and my uncle and their dog, and my two other uncles would come down with their families and we'd all goof around in this house in the mountains and play games and watch VHS tapes cos there was no service or cable there and then sit on the porch and watch the rain and then go a mile down to the old wood and concrete cabin on the lake with the deck that was falling apart and once gave me a splinter so big I had to go to the ER and we'd rent a pontoon boat and go out as a family and ride a tube behind the boat and then go back to the dock and set off fireworks or watch for bats and we'd have a bbq and I'd eat a million ice pops the whole time I was there. I was the only kid in the family and my grandma was the youngest at heart and was the only one who didnt bore me to death so we'd spend all our time together and she'd teach me how to do crafts or show me the secret hiding places in the furniture she made that only I knew about or we'd go on walks through the mountains with her dog and she'd teach me about the plants we saw or when I was really young we'd read the really old children's books she had together books from like the literal 1950s pages turned orange and falling apart with age. when my uncles weren't being boring and old they'd play pranks on me which was sometimes annoying but sometimes fun. my other uncle was stern but made a great meatloaf and had the periodic table completely memorized. and me and my dad would go swimming at the lake and play water baseball. but now my amazing grandma and meatloaf uncle are dead and I realized my prank uncles were conservatives and I got in facebook fights with them over trump and now we dont even speak to each other and they're forcing my mom to sell grandma's house, the last thing we had tying us to that place and to my grandma who i still miss so much ten years after her death. and what used to be a great family tradition, a chance to hang out with cousins and second cousins and great aunts etc etc and enjoy this piece of history that my family has lived in for ?? centuries, maybe?? in a town that knows my families name? is all just reduced to me and my mom, renting a cabin on a lake we have no claim to anymore, packing up a house we will no longer be able to visit, and not even being able to see my surviving uncles to give them the silent treatment because they dont even have the decency to come down to help pack up the house THEYRE forcing us to give up. I dont know whether the tone of this post is supposed to be angry or sad. I just miss those trips, when family meant something to all of us and we put everything else aside to be together. I've tried so hard all my life to cling to it, to family and the property and the traditions, but it all just chipped away no matter what I said or did. And I miss my grandma who held us all together. This land and this family meant so much to her. She would've hated this

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

You prefer short hair?😱 I feel betrayed. Think of the curls!! But yeah, he looks how with any hair. All of them do. Saaame. I want to hear it already, but at the same time I dont want to. If the rest of the CD sounds anything like Miss You, that would end me. I love that song too much. And if he sings a ballad...I'd die too. There's no way to win. (Also, i wont be able to see him and that would definitely kill me. I will be a sad mess, byeee). 1/3

Aaagh. I hate his team so much. How is it possible that Larries-Louies are better at doing promo than them? (Shoutout Louies, i love you). C'mon, his team is supposed to have the means!! Do you know how mad i get bcs i havent heard any of his songs on a spanish radio since JHO? I have heard Harry’s, Liam’s, Zayn’s and Niall’s, but not Louis’. MISS YOU DESERVED BETTER AND I’M NEVER GOING TO STOP SEEKING JUSTICE FOR IT. (Like literally. My friends are sick of me playing it everytime we meet). 2/3

Sorry about the lenght. I also have a lot of thoughts (and love) on Louis. I’m a bitter Louie with a lot of love to give. Thanks for reading me 😂🤷

———————————————————————————————

Hi!!!! I don’t have a preference, really, jajaja. I like every style on him. But I already saw him with the curls on 2014. And it’s sad that I missed the long long hair, arrrrggggg he looked amazing too during MITAM promo. 😍😍😍😍. But, seeing as it’s impossible to see him with that hair ever again (at least in the near future😕), I wanted to see his short short hair,jajaj.

Now Louis. 😜. I LOVE MISS YOU!! And JLY!! And JHO will always be in my heart, bc those lyrics… My least favorite is BTY, I have to admit it, sorry. But I like how he sounds with Bebe.I can’t wait to hear Always You (of that’s the Amsterdam one). That music!!! Jdikjenvkiefvirofce. When he posted the snippet on IG I heard it so many times that the next morning my brother asked me what the hell was I listening to the night before, bc I woke him up in the middle of the night 🤣🤣. And well, if he sings a ballad it will be the end of me. It was my pleasure to know you all, and all that,jajjaja.And his team… I really pray to every god I don’t believe in, that someone is working with him, advising him, even if it’s bts and we don’t get to see it right now or even this year. But I really hope he’s getting the profesional support and advice he, as a /new/ artist needs to become someone people will know and recognize in the future.I said /new/ artists bc here in Spain, or least where I’m from, he is a no one. Not him, and not the rest, to be honest. I work in a shop and my main group of customers (I think there’s a word for that, but I can’t think about it rn,oop!) are teens. And I always have the radio playing. And the few times they’ve played any of the boys, the only one they’ve recognized it was Zayn. They even had used his song (Dusk till down?) on a project. But I was trying to sell those Harry’s tickets that I told you about, and they didn’t know who it was, lol. And it’s Harry… FUN FACT: before I went to Madrid to Harry’s concert I went to the gas station. And p, as you can see, I could talk with a stone… jajajjaa, so I told the worker there (a man in his late 50s) that I was going to a concert. And he asked me who I was going to see. I told him: oh! You won’t know him. It’s called Harry Styles. He only has one album out. And, to my surprise!! He asked me: is he the one who was in that boy band?? AND I WAS SHOKED HE KNEW ABOUT THEM, LOL. I told him that yes, it was. And he told me to have fun. And that he had been to see Sting the week before (and he really is a good singer). I had to agree to disagree, jajaja.Anyway, going back to Louis and the rest. Yeah, they don’t play them? I don’t know why. I mostly hear Los40, and Liam has 2 song on the list, so they’ve playing him more often lately. And Harry had SOTT in the list too, so it was played quite often back then too (I think it got to number 1, but I missed it 😔). And yesterday or Monday, I don’t remember, they played This Town, bc Niall won that Batalla de fans they do every day on twitter. Does barely the only way they’ve played Louis there 😒. And a couple of Sunday in Tony Aguilar’s program (the global show, or something like that). Also, Cadena 100 used to play SOTT A LOT! My brother-in-law used to send me audios every time he heard the song at work!! 🙄 jajajajaa. But he doesn’t know about Niall or Liam. And I’m, not gonna talk about Louis…

ANWAY, I don’t know what I’m talking anymore,jajajja.They ALL deserve better here. But, also they have to know they have a fan base here too, so the can come to visit us sometimes, 😝😝😝.