#i guess knowing that i will never let anyone read my work is euphoric in its own way

[monaut]

I started writing creatively again because this sylvia plath biography kept inspiring me and it feels good to use my mind again. When I was in 5th grade I wrote this whole book (maybe like 80 pages) about dragon companions giving mermaid powers but my notebooks disappeared in my house one day and I never found them again. I write in my diary every single day but the entries are all basically the same things as my emo tumblr posts except cringier, harsher, and truer lol. unfortunately it feels so bad to know that i am not and will never be a literary genius but i'm glad that at least some people in history get to experience that...

[rookfeatherrambles]

Things come in threes I guess. JonElias Week drabble 3

This one comes with a TW. Basically Jon tries to commit die

The prompt was 'Self Destruction"

So I think this fits

I'll put it under a read more

Also s4 spoilers kinda I guess???

SELF DESTRUCTION

"Let me die," Jon begs. "Let this end!"

His voice is ragged, dry and cracking with disuse and Elias is so furious that he might strike him. "No," is all he says, and then clenches his jaw because if he keeps his mouth open any longer he's at risk of vomiting words he knows he cannot take back, and that he's not ready to admit.

"For gods sake, Jon, stay awake," he commands, heaving the weak, starving the Eye informs him, near death man into his arms and leaving Jon's flat, the door wide open, everything fair game for anyone else to take or spoil. Elias doesn't care. In his head he's already decided that Jon will live with him from now on. Where he can keep his real eyes on him. Jon's still protesting, but Elias doesn't care. He's breathing, he's alive, that's all that matters.

Actually, you care very much. So much that you abandoned the plan you've worked two hundred years to achieve.

Elias snarls. "He is the lynchpin to my plan!" Before realizing he's talking to himself. Jon has passed out. Swearing, Elias bundles him into the car after checking that he's still breathing.

It had been a month before that Jon had entered his flat with the intent never to leave.

Elias had been putting the finishing touches on the grand reveal he'd been planning, the culmination of the bet he'd made with Peter Lukas; and then he'd felt it. His Archivist, the one he'd carefully maneuvered into every mark he needed, was dying.

It was so important that he left the confrontation with Peter and that gormless Martin Blackwood, sprinted, even, to get to his car.

And now, he casts glances at Jon's doll-like body slumped in the passenger seat of his sedan, his shallow breath lightly fogging the window his head rests against.

He looks so sick.

How long had he remained in that flat? How long had he starved himself?

The whole month, the Eye supplies. Four weeks, twelve hours, ten minutes, fifty nine seconds. He thought it would only take two. He did not consume any water.

"God, Jon!"

Elias's hands, they shake. He finds this more disturbing then finding his almost complete Archive knocking on death's door. He's just a tool. He can be replaced. It will set me back decades, but I am patient. I have time. There is always enough time.

Jon groans incoherently and Elias nearly rear ends the car in front of him. They're almost there.

"Hold on, Jon," he says, trying to control his breathing. "Hold on."

As soon as the car is parked in his driveway, Elias wrenches the door open and gathers Jon up none too gently, to take him inside.

There may be an eternity awaiting Jonah Magnus, but Jon is out of time.

Elias lets out a loud curse and lays the small, bird boned man onto his couch, before tearing across the hall with absolutely zero decorum to find what he's looking for.

Statements. He needs statements.

Not the kind that haphazardly populate the Archives, no, these are special. The paper is old, brittle, the ink flaked away where rough handling has aged them.

He races back to Jon's side, and carefully props him up with a cushion.

"Jon? Jon, can you hear me?"

Elias takes Jon's hand, squeezes it.

Please, Jon.

"Jon, squeeze my hand if you can hear me."

He all but lets out a sob of relief as he feels the slightest contraction of Jon's fingers in his own.

Elias shudders a breath, full of unwanted emotion.

He parts his lips.

"Statement of Jonah Magnus."

When he's finished, when the Watcher pulls away from the feast, Jon is watching him.

His dark brown eyes are still dull, and his cheeks hollow, and his skin dry, and his lips cracked, but he is alive. Sated enough to keep his heart beating.

Elias smiles so wide his cheeks hurt. The rush of relief is almost euphoric. "Jon..."

Jon's gaze is empty. Elias realizes with a start that he's been marked by the Lonely, though it's not visible. The Eye tells him without inquiry that Jon called out, cried out to anyone who would listen, strained at the cuff that bound him to the sink in his bathroom, begged and pleaded, cursed and cried for anyone to save him.

And when nobody so much as knocked on his door, not even Martin, the one he yearned for— he knew he was going to die alone.

Elias hisses in a sharp breath. That knowledge hurt.

"J-Jon, I—"

"You should have let me die."

The words felt like a knife in his chest. So flat, so.... Final.

Jon's eyes are so dead already that Elias looks away with a shudder. He can see an echo of the End in him.

His apology was spoken to Jon's skeletally thin hands, still clasped within his own. Like a wretched confession.

"I know."

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

hii :)

could you do a drabble where the reader and yoongi were in an arranged marriage for a while. She thought that Yoongi cheated on her so she asked for a divorce. Yoongi as a cold husband pleaseee !! So Yoongi gives her a rough + angry sex ?? to prove he's not cheating? hehehhe

love all your writings btw, you have so much ideas to be posting lots in a day !!! :)

thank youu !

damn this turned out bigger than normal cuz-- plot... and i didn't want to write a pt2 so i'm just putting it under the cut and let's just still pretend it's a "drabble"

You didn’t remember much from that night. Just some general feelings, like how annoyed and lonely you were. How you needed your husband but he wasn’t there. When you woke up the next morning, head throbbing from your hangover, Yoongi was missing from your shared bed. And even though you didn’t want to assume things, when you noticed multiple hickeys on his neck later that day, you had no choice but to think of the only logical conclusion: your husband was cheating on you.

It hurt. Sure, your marriage had been arranged, so perhaps he didn’t really want to be with you. But somewhere in the process of it all, you had fallen for him. He was always serious and keeping his guard up around you, but there were moments that you thought deep down he was actually a nice guy. And that he cared for you. I guess you were wrong. Who would ever do such a thing to someone they care about even the slightest?

At first, you thought you could put it past you. This was more of a contract than a marriage anyway, from the beginning. But it hurt you every time you saw him, every time he did a tiny, little nice thing for you, like cooking you breakfast or texting you to let you know he would be home late. As if you two were actually a couple. It hurt you so much you needed to put an end to it.

“I want a divorce.” You didn’t wait for the right time or something like that, just blurted it out one evening right after you had gotten done eating in mostly silence.

Yoongi was still in control over his facial expressions, yet barely. A tiny frown, a tiny widening of his eyes gave his shock away. “What? Why?”

You took a deep breath, looking away to be able to keep your composure; looking at him made your knees too weak. “I agreed on this marriage. I agreed to try and make it work even though I knew it would be hard,” you explained. “But I will not tolerate cheating. I want a divorce.”

“Cheating?” His voice was low, truly confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I know, Yoongi. You don’t need to pretend.”

“What? I never-”

“I saw the hickeys you had all over you last Sunday.” The sentence shut him up, blank face taking its place over his shocked expression and you couldn’t read him. You gulped. “Or are you gonna claim those were mosquito bites?”

And then Yoongi laughed. Sound so contrasting to his usual attitude, sending chills down your spine. It didn’t last long, however, face serious again as he stared at you intensely. “Are you serious right now?” he barked, and you were starting to feel a bit scared. He took a step towards you. “You really don’t know who gave me those hickeys?”

You frowned, taken aback by his answer. “How would I- What does it matter?”

Yoongi chuckled again, reaching you across the kitchen until he was just a breath away. Looking down at you with dark eyes. “You were so fucking wasted that night, I guess I need to refresh your memory,” he whispered. And before you could even react, he lifted you up, legs straddling his waist as you yelped, arms snaking around his shoulders awkwardly as you were trying not to fall while he carried you to your bedroom.

“Yoon-”

“See?” he said, dropping you on the bed sideways. And his body loomed over yours. “This is where you laid while you were begging me to fuck you dumb. Do you not remember?” You gasped at his words, squirming in order to escape. But his hands were on your waist, pinning you down, and suddenly you knew the feeling wasn’t unfamiliar. This had happened before. “Now what?” Yoongi growled into your ear. “You want to divorce me because you were sucking my neck and I was too weak to pull you away too fast? I did. It was so fucking hard but I pulled away and left because... I told you many times that if this was gonna happen, it should happen the right way. Not when you are black-out drunk. But you were crying and telling me how badly you wanted me. I had to jerk off alone because of how hard you got me with your begging. Was that all the alcohol talking? You didn’t even look at me the next morning.”

You had never heard him talk so much. And your face was burning as that night got clearer in your memories. As the realization that Yoongi wanted you as much as you wanted him settled in. “Yoongs, I-”

“No, shh…” He placed a finger over your lips. “You really have the audacity to think I’m cheating on you when all I’ve been doing is falling for you? Trying to turn this marriage into something actually nice? I’ve been trying to fuck you for so long, you really think I give a shit about fucking anyone else?”

The way his words affected you was surely clear to him as well. Your legs tried to close, yet only resulted in caging him against your hip harder, pushing him down until you could feel his hard dick through his pants. “I- I didn’t know, I…”

Yoongi ground down on you harder, breath unsteady and hot over your lips. “Tell me now, once and for all,” he whispered while his hands started roaming over your body, not even touching you anywhere specifically yet making you gasped with every graze. Distance between you so short it was intoxicating your brain. “Tell me if you want me to stop right now, and I won’t bother you again. Otherwise, I will not stop even if you’re begging me later.” His voice was so coarse you could tell his brain was rotten with want as well. Staring at your lips, waiting for the green light to devour them, probably barely registering anything else.

“Yoongi,” you whined. “Need you… Don’t stop…”

His mouth on yours was such a relief, lips and tongue soft as they played against yours. It didn’t last long before he was groaning, backing off to pull your shirt over your head aggressively, discarding his as well, and grabbing you by the waist to push you further up the bed. His skin was hot on yours, his mouth instantly back on your neck, giving you the treatment you had given him that forgotten night. And his roaming hands found your pants to pull them down while you were distracted. One slipping in your underwear to steal a touch of your center.

“Fuck,” he choked. And then he grabbed a fistful of your hair to turn your head to look at him. “What a nice, wet pussy. And you really thought I’d wanna fuck anyone else’s?” He looked mad when he pulled your clothes completely off you, getting naked as well. Hand wrapped around his thick member, allowing you only one glance before he was over you again, tip brushing against your entrance. “Let me show you, baby,” he rasped, and you were mewling under him. “This pretty pussy is mine, this is the one I want.”

“Yoon…” Your whine was interrupted when he pushed into you, not giving you any room to get used to his dick. His lips were on yours again, hand on your hair pulling it harshly as he started thrusting into you right away. You felt euphoric, your husband finally fucking you hard after all this time of suffering the sexual tension alone. And your fingers scratched his back while moans escaped into his bruising kiss.

Yoongi gave you a few very deep thrusts, hitting your cervix and making you cry before he pulled away again. “Feel that, baby?” he groaned. “Feel how well I’m fucking you- that’ll shut you up, won’t it?” He pulled out, grabbing your hips and flipping you around with no warning. He grabbed you by the ankles to drag you closer to him, and then slapped your ass hard.

“Ah, Yoongi!” You raised your ass higher, on your knees while your face was buried in the sheets.

“That’s right, baby,” he said in a low voice. And he spanked you again. “Scream my name.” Another spank, softer than the others, while he stroked and kneaded your ass. “Scream your husband's name to let everyone know who’s fucking you so hard.” And he buried his cock deep inside you again. “Scream my name to remind yourself that you have me, baby.”

You were a panting mess. Your orgasm building inside you so wildly that you felt like you were about to combust instead of cum. And you dared sneak a hand down to rub your clit while you were moaning his name like a prayer. “Oh, Yoongi, please… Fuck, please…”

He smacked your hand away when he noticed, growling and grabbing your hair to pull it until your back was arched, mouth coming right next to your ear to whisper dangerously. “If you’re gonna cum, you’ll cum because of my cock inside you. Got it?”

You were nodding immediately. Although you were probably gonna cum because of his deep voice and harsh dirty words. “I’m gonna…”

“Good girl,” he growled, diving his teeth in the side of your neck. And it was what did it for you, shouting out while your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your vision turned black, pussy pulsing frantically around him.

“Shit,” he gasped, hips faltering. Then he let go of your hair only to grab your neck from the front, still pulling you back to have his face buried in your nape. “Gonna let me paint those pussy walls white with my cum, baby?” And you were moaning again at that, feeling like you were gonna cum again before you even came down from your previous high. Yoongi smacked your ass abruptly, making you yelp and give him the permission he needed. And he hummed, satisfied, his hips finding the rhythm he needed to finish. “My lovely wife,” he whispered sweetly even though his actions were anything but that. “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck you good all the time. Just so you know I don’t even have the fucking time to be seeing anyone else.” And then he spilled into you for the very first time.

Masterlist

[badassbuchanan]

White Lies

Warnings: smut, oral (male and female receiving), unprotected sex, overuse of the f word, riding, dirty talk, kinda sad ending.

Word Count: 5335

A/N: Sorry my inactiveness this past week, my loves! I’ve just had so much on my plate - hopefully everything will be back to normal this week xx

Also, let me know if my tag list still isn't working for you? I’ve had a few people having issues with it lately.

*** would just like to state for the record I do not condone cheating. Please do not read if this will upset or offend you in any way ***

The empty bottle of wine made Y/N’s body tingle with warmth. Andy’s larger body wasn’t feeling the affects of the alcohol as much, he was a different kind of drunk. His body was more tingly and warm from the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen laying so vulnerably against his side.

Y/N tried to act normal around him, she really had. She desperately attempted to treat tonight like every other night he’d come over to her place. But it was hard to act normal, when the secret of his she’d accidentally uncovered tormented her mind. Y/N knew that tonight was the last time she could ever see Andy.

She first met Andy only a couple of weeks ago when he was assigned to assist a case at the firm she worked at. He’d come in to the reception area looking smart and professional, but his mannerisms were slightly more on the causal side than most lawyer’s she’d liaised with. “Can I help you?” Her voice came out calm, almost soothing to his ears. Andy couldn’t ignore how beautiful she was, or the way his heart skipped a beat as their eyes met. “Yeah, is this where I sign in?” She was immediately attracted to his charm and dopey smile.

“My name’s Andy. M’gunna be working with…” He leaned his palms on her desk with a frown as he tried to wrack his brain, Y/N’s beauty distracting his mind from thinking straight. She watched with a soft smile as he quickly pulled out his phone, checking for the name of the person he was supposed to meet. “William Heartly on the Alberto and Bexley case.”

“Okay, Andy,” Y/N couldn’t keep her eyes off of the charming man. Andy tried to ignore the throbbing of his cock as he admired her, just getting hard from the way she said his name. “I’ll let Mr Heartly know you’re here. Please, take a seat.”

A few days of borderline flirty remarks whilst waiting for the lawyer to come and collect Andy later, and Y/N had grown fond of the blue eyed visitor. They had become quite well acquainted with eachother. She adored the way he seemed to be genuinely interested in talking to her. She was attracted to the way he made her laugh, his kind nature. Everything about him made her crave his attention. He was so different to all the other men she’d met, she’d never felt this way about anyone before. It was as if they were just destined to meet, like the stars had aligned.

“Morning Y/N.”

“So where are you from originally?”

“Here, I bought you a coffee.”

“I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

“What do you do when you’re not at work?”

“We should be finished up on the case by tomorrow.”

“I don’t want it to be the last time I see you. Do you wanna come to dinner with me?”

It was the small things he said that had her heart skipping every time he walked through the door, sometimes unscheduled. She wasn’t the kind of girl who has sex with someone she’s just met, but this was different. Andy was everything she’d ever looked for in a guy. She wasn’t going to let herself self sabotage this time, she’d trust that it was supposed to be. So they fucked in the back of his car that night. They exchanged numbers. They texted daily. They hung out, mostly at Y/N’s house. They cooked together. They watched movies. They stayed up late talking about anything and everything. They made love.

Thoughts of their times together flooded through her mind as she laid against his side, her heart sinking as she breathed in his intoxicating scent, one that she would soon be trying to forget. Deep down she’d always known he was too good to be true. But she thought that just this once, maybe she’d find the love of her life. And well, technically, she did.

“This is my favourite part.” Andy chuckled, blissfully unaware of the thoughts that tormented her mind, distracted by the movie on the screen and the peacefulness of being with her. She faked a chuckle, letting her hand rest on his bare stomach under his business shirt. She didn’t want to let him go, to feel the coldness of his absence. She wanted to go back to before that dumb accountant had run her mouth, unknowingly telling Y/N something she never imagined she’d hear.

“Andy.” She mumbled softly, craving all of his attention as she tilted her head to look up at him, noticing how well groomed his beard was. Her stomach fluttered with butterflies as her fingers massaged over his skin, desperate for the intimacy the both relied on. Her mind stilled as she admired him, perfection in human form.

Andy immediately fixed his ocean blue eyes on hers, one of his strong hands sliding down her back and into the waistband of her gym shorts instinctively as he gave her a soft smile.

Yeah?” He breathed out sweetly, leaning down to peck her lips slowly without hesitation. She hummed as she kissed him back, not missing a beat as her hand moved from his stomach up to his jaw, pulling his face harder onto hers.

Y/N felt her pussy throb with need as his muscly arms wrapped around her body. She shook her head, causing her to second guess her confrontational conversation and enjoy the moment instead. “Nothing.” She whispered seductively, opening her mouth for his tongue as he ran it over her bottom lip. She loved how wet Andy could get her from his hand simply squeezing her ass cheek inside her shorts.

Andy groaned into the kiss, letting his other hand dip under the bottom of her baggy top, resting on her soft tummy as he felt his cock throb. “Wanna feel myself in here.” He mumbled euphorically as he trailed his lips across her cheek, his tongue leaving wet marks as he went. Andy loved how she made him feel, not just sexually, although he loved that too. But emotionally, she made him feel whole, she made him feel loved and needed, she completed him.

Goose bumps covered Y/N’s skin as she tilted her neck, granting him more access. His hand started moving again as his lips trailed along the flesh of her neck, pushing further under her top as he palmed over one of her perky tits, squeezing it gently.

“Andy.” She threw her head back breathlessly, helplessly submitting to him as her legs parting instinctively. Andy continued to squeeze her ass and massage her boob, his cock straining against the material of his pants as he heard her moan.

“Need to be inside you, baby.” He kissed at her neck repeatedly, longing for the love only she could give him as he bit down softly on her neck, tugging her nipple between his fingers. She let out a whimper as she felt her wetness dripping down her pussy and onto the thin material of her underwear, begging to feel more of his touch. “I need you.”

Y/N licked her lips, resting her hand on the back of his head as her eyelids fluttered shut, her body relaxing against him. Andy let his hand glide back down her tummy, touching her body delicately before fisting the material of her top in his hand, impatiently pulling it up to expose her bare chest.

His lips left her neck, taking a moment to admire how perfect her body was, how perfect she was, breathing out shakily as he looked up into her lust filled eyes, staring back at him lovingly. He leaned closer to her, dropping his head to her tits as he started sucking on her pebbled nipple with his tongue.

She whimpered out in pleasure, tugging on his hair as her back arched off of the sofa in pleasure, nudging closer to his mouth. “Andy.” She moaned his name shamelessly, edging him on to get what she wanted, his cock inside of her.

He squeezed her other boob in the palm of his hand, letting out a groan as he felt her body wiggling desperately under him. His teeth grazed along the flesh of her breast as she tries to wrap her leg around him, needing something to hump her eager pussy on.

“Andy, please.” She choked out in a whimper, losing control of her body as she forced her eyes open to look at him. Y/N breathed shakily as she pushed her tits out for him, watching him kiss his way to the valley of her breasts, letting his tongue leave sloppy wet marks along her soft skin. “I’m so wet.”

“Tell me what you want.” He muttered mindlessly, too distracted by his desire to kiss every inch of her gorgeous body. His tongue snaked across her chest to attach to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment as the first.

“You.” She moaned weakly, her eyes closing in pleasure as her head spun, her hips bucking desperately as she gripped his hair. “I want you.”

Andy lifted his head, moving his body up to level with hers, their breaths mixing as he stared down at her intensely. “I can give you what you just asked for in so many different ways, baby.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips as he felt himself weakening under her touch. “But if you want what’s going on inside that sweet mind of yours,” He kissed her again, feeling her absentmindedly open her mouth to welcome his tongue. “You’re gunna have to get a little more graphic for me.”

She nodded obediently with a whimper, licking her lips as she watched his, her eyes glistening with desire as her hands smoothed over the burning skin of his stomach. “I want your mouth on my pussy.”

Andy let out a strangled grunt, his jaw clenching as his strong hand squeezed her bare thigh. “You wanna feel my tongue inside that tight little cunt of yours?” He breathed out heavily through his nose as he looked down at her submitting beneath him.

Y/N nodded shyly at the vulgarity of his words, biting her lip as the soft hair of his beard grazed her chin. “Go get on the bed.” Andy instructed as his lips pressed a kiss on her cheek. “Take your shorts and top off.” He continued as he kissed her other cheek. “Then wait for me like a good girl.” He mumbled as he watched her through hooded eyes, his head spinning with desire.

Y/N’s pussy clenched, her crotch nudging against his bulge as she immediately moved to get up, leaving Andy with a final peck on his lips. He watched her obediently make her way across the room, her shirt dropping to the floor before she’d even reached the hallway.

Andy let out a scoff in amusement, smiling admirably as he felt his heart burst with adoration for the girl. He took the moment alone to regain his strength which seemed to dissolve whenever she was begging him.

His cock throbbed when he walked into the bedroom, immediately seeing her tight little pussy on display for him now that her legs were spread. Andy unbuttoned his shirt as he strolled to the end of the bed, keeping his eyes glued on her dripping centre that was begging for him.

“I don’t remember telling you to take off your underwear.” He mumbled cheekily as his hands dropped to unbuckle his belt after running a hand through his tousled hair, pushing it out of his way as he subconsciously licked his lips.

Y/N’s leg lifted to dig her heel into the mattress, her pussy clenching as her eyes dropped to marvel at his tattooed body that she loved so much. She bit her lip in anticipation as she watched his big hands pull the belt, that had tied her up on multiple occasions, out of the loops and into his hand in a smooth motion.

“They were coming off eventually,” She dropped her voice in a sultry tone as she leaned back on her palm, batting her eyelashes as she watched him unbutton his pants in front of her. “Thought I’d save you some time.”

“And what if I wanted to fuck you with them on?” He raised his eyebrow, smirking as he moved his hand down to grip her ankle. He tugged at her feet, forcing her body towards him as her back hit the mattress. She giggled at his dominance, butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she looked up at where he stood between her legs. Andy admired her naked form as he let go of her ankle, pushing his pants down before crawling onto the bed, hovering above her. “Have to wait until next time, won’t I?” He chuckled sweetly as he pressed a gentle kiss on her plump lips.

Her heart sank. There wouldn’t be a next time. A slight twinge of anxiety returned to her body as she remembered the secret he’d hidden from her so well. Was any of this real?

“Andy, wait.” She watched him slide his hand up her inner thigh as his lips travelled down her body, stopping inches away from her heat. Her chest heaved as she slightly panicked, feeling his movements come to a sudden stop.

He looked up, eyebrows furrowing in slight confusion as she tugged his hands off of her. Y/N silently rolled herself over, propping herself up on her knees as she pushed her palms into the mattress, her ass and pussy on display for him.

“Fuck,” Andy sighed in desire, his cock painfully straining inside of his boxers at the sight of her as he shifted to lay on his side. “This how you want it?”

“Mmh.” She moaned out with a nod, looking back at him from over her shoulder. Andy’s weight rested on his elbow as he came face to face with her pussy.

“So pretty.” He mumbled in awe, using his spare hand to grip the back of her thigh, spreading her ass cheek a bit more as he leaned in and kissed her pussy lips softly. “So wet.” He added, mumbling against her heat as he let his tongue poke teasingly out of his mouth, kissing her pussy again.

“Fuck.” She whispered shakily, already overwhelmed with pleasure as her head dropped against the mattress, desperately pushing her ass back towards him.

Andy licked a long strip up her slit, his spit mixing with her juices as he felt her jolting with pleasure in front of him, she was so responsive for him. “So sweet.” He mumbled against her pussy, the vibrations sending shivers through her body.

“Oh,” she whimpered erotically, arching her back as her hands gripped tightly against the bedsheets, her nipples rubbing against the mattress as she lost the strength to hold herself up. “Andy.”

Andy let go of her thigh, a growl escaping his lips as his passion took over, forcing his face deep into her pussy, his tongue rubbing against her inner walls. Andy guided his hand down, pushing inside his boxers to pull out his throbbing cock.

He moaned against her, pumping his thick shaft in his hand as he sucked on her clit. Andy’s eyes darkened with desire as he felt her fidget in front of him, rocking her hips against his face as he drank her arousal.

The slapping and sucking sounds of their intimate activity filled the air, a thin layer of sweat escaped her skin as her thighs shook, the pleasure taking over her body.

Andy teased his tip, spreading the leaking precum over his reddened tip before fucking into his hand again. He moaned as his tongue explored her eager pussy, drinking in her scent.

“Andy, I’m gunna cum.” Y/N whined desperately, the feeling on Andy’s beard tickling between her thighs too much for her to take. Her upper body collapsed against the bed as she jolted repeatedly, a bubbling pleasure building up inside of her as she reached a hand toward the pillows for support.

Her words only made his mouth fuck her harder, eager to watch her come undone as he flicked his tongue rapidly up and down her clit. A groan erupted from the back of his throat, his hand pumping his cock faster as a way of settling his desperate need for attention.

The vibration of his voice caused Y/N’s orgasm to hit, suddenly flooding her body with with pleasure as she desperately gripped the pillow her hand. Porn-star moans escaped her mouth as Andy lapped up her juices, his eagerness to feel her walls around him growing as he felt her overstimulated pussy jolting at his touch.

Andy pressed his thumb covered in his pre-cum against her core as he leaned back, admiring her puffy pussy lips through hooded eyes. The sight was almost enough for him to push her down and shove his face back between her thighs. But his cock was throbbing for attention. Y/N was too fucked out to pay much attention to Andy shifting behind her on the bed, still recovering from her orgasm as slid his boxers down his legs and knelt behind her, lining himself up with her soaked entrance before pushing his cock inside of her throbbing pussy.

“Oh, fuck.” Andy moaned loudly, his head dropping back in pleasure as a frown covered his face. His hands gripped her hips, her warm pussy clenching around his cock as he started thrusting in and out of her aching hole.

“Pull out.” Y/N whimpered out quickly, her head turning sideways to look at him over her shoulder as she moved her palm back to push him away by his stomach. His cock felt so good inside of her aching pussy, satisfying the need to feel him, like he was made to fit inside of her.

“No.” Andy growled desperately as he pulled her hips back against him hard, unable to fathom the idea of having to pull his cock out of her warm, dripping cunt.

“Andy,” Y/N hissed in frustration, whining at the feeling of his balls slap against her ass, the enormous amount pleasure coursing through her veins almost made her second guess her request. “I want your cock in my mouth first.”

Andy’s movements stilled as he let out a groan, a breathy chuckle leaving his lips as he leaned down to press his chest against her back. His cock angled deeper inside of her, a soft whimper leaving her lips as she arched back, feeling the material of his shirt which hung open on his body. “Well, in that case.” Andy chuckled deviously as he pressed his lips to the back of her shoulder, a sigh leaving his lips as he regretfully pulled out of her soft pussy.

Andy leaned back up on his knees, not even giving Y/N time to think about the empty feeling washing over her before tugging her backwards by her arm to press her back against his chest. Andy’s hand snaked around to her throat, his fingers digging into her flesh as he kissed her passionate. Y/N smiled as she kissed him back, feeling the desperation on his lips contrasted by his rough touches.

“Lay down for me, okay?” She asked sweetly, knowing that if she tried to command him in any way, he’d fuck her into the mattress just to put her in her place. She pecked his lips softly, feeling his cock nudging desperately between her ass cheeks.

Andy groaned as he pulled himself away from the kiss, her voice sweet enough to be able to get him to do anything. He let go of her body, shuffling to obey her request as he turned his body to lay his head on the pillows.

He watched the way she admired his cock that was standing proudly, glistening with her juices as she crawls toward him. She bit her lip, her soft hand running ticklishly up one of his thighs as her lips kissed along the other.

Andy groaned as her lips inched closer to his throbbing member, his hips bucking slightly in need. Y/N’s mouth watered at the sight of his cock, unable to stop her lips from wrapping around his tip, her tongue flicking ever so teasingly over him.

Andy let out a grunt of frustration, forcing his eyes to stay open as his hand moved down to rest on the back of her head. Y/N could tell he wanted to take control, feeling his cock throbbing against her tongue as she glided it down his shaft and started bobbing her head.

“Fuck, baby.” Andy’s hand tightened on her head, his fingers digging into her scalp as he tugged hard on her hair, little moans escaping his open mouth uncontrollably. “Just like that.”

He breathed out shakily, his eyes fixated on the sight of her between his legs, gagging on his cock as she took his whole length. Y/N let her jaw go slack, allowing him the freedom of controlling her movements as he fucked into her mouth.

Andy’s jaw clenched as he felt his tip hit the back of her throat, sending waves of pleasure through his body. “Oh, fuck.” His face screwed up, in awe of just how good she always made him feel.

The sound of Andy’s heavy breathing has Y/N’s pussy clenching in anticipation of his throbbing cock being back inside of her. She moaned around his length, bobbing her head to assist with the rhythm that his hand was moving it up and down. The drops of saliva that trickled down her mouth didn’t cross her mind as they landed on Andy’s skin.

Y/N’s eyes fluttered closed, breathing through her nose as Andy’s cock filled her throat, her nails digging harshly into the flesh of his thigh.

Andy movements came to a sudden stop, desperately trying to recompose himself as he almost lost control. He kept her lips against his skin as he held her head down, his cock filling her mouth and opening her throat as he tried to stop himself from reaching his climax.

“Fuck.” He moaned loudly, eyes not leaving the sight of her mouth warming his thick cock. Y/N was caught by surprise, trying to control her breathing as she choked, swallowing around him in an attempt to breathe. “Baby I’m gunna cum down that pretty little throat of yours if you don’t stop.”

She whimpered at his words, staying in position as her pussy dripped down her thighs, moving her other hand to rest on Andy’s lower stomach, trailing her fingers delicately over the skin.

Her throat started to involuntarily tighten as Andy watched her keep his cock in her mouth like a pacifier. He licked his lips as his blue eyes locked with hers, finally letting go of her head as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

Y/N took a moment to catch her breath, leaning up on her hands as they smiled knowingly at eachother. Andy watched intensely as she crawled up his body, their skin touching intimately as she sat back on her knees, straddling his waist.

He pulled her into a deep kiss as her hand cupped his beard covered jaw, her head tilting to grant him more access. Y/N rocked her hips down from where she sat above him, feeling his thick cock nudge against her pussy.

Andy moaned into the kiss, his hands sliding from her hips around to massage her ass cheeks. She sucked on his bottom lip desperately, pressing her chest against his she let go of his jaw, tugging the material of his shirt off of his body. She slid her hand down to his cock once he was completely naked beneath her, lining him up with her entrance as she braced herself for the feeling of his cock stretching her out.

“You’re so needy for my cock, baby.” Andy groaned into her ear as he tugged her hand away from his shaft, jolting his hips up to push himself fully inside of her.

“Andy.” Y/N moaned out with a gasp, surprised by his sudden movement as she momentarily dropped her head onto his chest, losing control of her body as her nails dug into his arm.

Andy’s wide chest caught her weak body, guiding her ass back and forth along his length with his big hands. “I’m not gunna last long.” He groaned desperately as his lips parted in pleasure, his eyes squeezing shut as he felt her pussy tight around him.

“So big.” She whimpered softly, still trying to stretch in order to accommodate to his size. Andy kissed her temple lovingly, his heart sinking at her words as his cock twitching inside of her rubbed up against her walls.

“Thought you would’ve gotten used to me by now.” He whispered cheekily, trying to distract her from the pain. He dropped his head to press a kiss to her lips, smiling as he noticed her chuckle shakily in response, both of them drunk on the feeling of their intimacy.

“Your cock is huge, Andy.” She mumbled sweetly as she kissed him back, starting to move her hips slowly as she adjusted to his thick shaft. “It’d take a lot longer than this for me to get used to it.”

“Shit.” He hissed as Y/N forced herself to bounce a little faster on him, a soft sound of their skin slapping together filled the room. Her stomach clenched as she paced up and down his cock, feeling so full with him inside of her.

One of her hands lifted to rest on his shoulder, the other on the mattress beside his head as she sat up on him, regaining her strength. Little whimpers left her lips as she pleasured herself on Andy’s cock, feeling his strong hands holding her tightly. His fingers left marks on her curvy hips, the new angle gave them both an increased amount of pleasure.

Groans rumbled in Andy’s throat as he clenched his jaw, admiring the gorgeous woman above him. He forced his eyes to stay on her, smitten with the way her back arches towards him, the way her tits bounce with every thrust, the way her face looks flushed and so very satisfied.

“Andy” She moaned his name, her eyes fluttering shut as she slid her hand from his shoulder to his chest, her finger nails digging into his skin.

He was mesmerised by the way her pussy smacked down against his skin with every bounce of her hips, rubbing the length his cock with her tight walls.

“C’mere.” Andy mumbled breathlessly, reaching his hand up to lift her arm from his chest, as he tugged her arm towards his head. He pulled her body down on to him with ease, desperate to have her closer.

Y/N didn’t hesitate to obey to his gentle command, resting her chest flush against his once more as she looked up at him through hooded eyes. His hands slid down to her ass, spreading her cheeks as he took control, thrusting up into her.

She forced her head to stay focused on him, even as the overwhelming pleasure filled her body. Andy instantly smiled admiringly down at her, proud of how well she was taking him. His heart fluttered as he noticed her smiling beck at him, losing theirselves in the love they felt.

He grunted desperately, feeling his cock push deep inside of her with every jolt of his hips. “Just because you’re on top, doesn’t mean you’re in control.” He mumbled through hooded eyes, craving more and more of her attention.

Y/N chuckled at his comment before whimpering as his cock hit her cervix, leaning up to kiss him as she cupped his jaw in an attempt to satisfy the need to bring him closer.

Andy kissed her back, his tongue slipping into her mouth to twirl with hers. He lifted his knees, pressing the heels of his feet into the mattress as he fucked up into her with more leverage.

Y/N moaned as she felt Andy’s cock slide deeper into her, protruding through the bottom of her tummy from inside of her. She moaned into another loving kiss, her clit rubbing against his skin as she felt her orgasm bubbling.

“Want you to cum around my cock.” Andy moaned against her lips, one hand digging into the thick flesh of her thigh as his length twitched inside of her.

“You’re close, Andy.” She whispered back matter-of-factly, noticing the way his cock was twitching desperately inside of her. Andy knew she was right, he could feel his release rapidly building up, his heart swelling at how well she knew him.

He nodded in response, their breaths colliding as Andy’s spare hand held the back of her head, tugging her hair slightly out of desperation.

Andy quickened his pace, feeling her juices running down onto his balls. Moans filled the room as Y/N moved her hips down aggressively, using the last of her strength to sit back up on Andy.

The sudden change of her angle was too much for Andy, sending him spilling his seed inside of her as his hips jolted erratically.

“Fuck.” He moaned as his face screwed up in pleasure, his eyebrows furrowing as he emptied his seed into her tight pussy, not letting go of his grip on her body.

Andy didn’t stop slamming up into her, the feeling of her pussy clenching around his length was something he never wanted to stop.

Y/N felt her orgasm wash over her with a loud moan, his cock rutting into her sensitive pussy as her hole filled with his warm cum. Her nails dug into his chest as they both stilled for a moment, trying to make the euphoria of the moment last.

Her overstimulated pussy pulsated around his cock, still deep inside of her as he took hold of her wrist softly, looking up at her in admiration.

Y/N closed her eyes, trying to steady herself with one hand as she felt Andy’s lips kissing her wrist. Her stomach sunk as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat, dread washing away the pleasure.

“Say it.” She whispered breathlessly, her eyes slowly opening as she looked at him innocently through her lashes.

“I love you.” He spoke without hesitation between kisses, his eyes never leaving her face as he admired her beauty.

“No, Andy.” She sighed irritably, lifting her hips up just enough for his cock to slide out of her, emptying herself of his length before sitting back down on him carefully. “Just say it.”

Andy sighed heavily, closing his eyes as he felt his heart sinking inside of his chest. He knew that his truth would catch up with him eventually, he just hoped it would be further in the future. The sadness that covered Y/N’s face had his heart aching at her pain, hating that he’d done that to her. “I’m married.”

She held her breath for a moment too long, feeling her heart break as the words left his lips. “I hate you.” She mumbled, closing her eyes to stop the tears from escaping. She sighed heaving as she laid her chest back on to his, enjoying the last of his presence. How could she have let herself so vulnerable? Why did she ever let her guard down? Why did she ever let him in?

“I know.” Andy sighed heavily, hating himself for hurting her. She hid her saddened face in the dip of his neck, relaxing against him as she inhaled his scent. Andy’s hands slid up her sides to wrap around her back, hugging her tightly.

The haunting silence engulfed the room, an emptiness between them where there had once been an overwhelming sense of fulfilment. Andy knew deep down in his gut that he’d lost her. He knew how much he’d unintentionally hurt her. He knew it was over. But there was nothing he could do, because the truth was, it never even should’ve started.

taglist: 

@harrysthiccthighss​ @annestine​ @bestofbucky​ @velvetcardiganbucky​ @sexwithhiddlesbatch​ @be-patient-be-good​ @codyl-angdon​ @marveljunkieee​ @melchills-j​ @krislhurt​ @patzammit​

[writing-in-april]

Soured Nostalgia

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: When Reader moves their stuff in to Spencer’s apartment they find photos that he kept over the years. One photo of the past springs up memories of Spencer’s precious relationship with Elle.

A/N: hey heeeyyy everybody- here’s a fic I’ve been really excited to share with everyone. It’s my eleventh fic for my 30 fics in 30 days!!! This was the original request (I made it a little different lol I hope you like it)I had a fun time with it mostly cause I totally think Spencer and Elle had something going on at some point 😉 Plus I got to incorporate older angsty post prison Spencer and mention how he used to be a little baby ☺️ I’m curious to hear y’all’s thoughts about the Reidaway ship, or really anything so feel free to drop an ask to my inbox here. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Warnings: 18+, Smut, Joking about being jealous???, Reidaway in the past, Spencer being sad about the people who’ve left him, Sub Spencer, Only a bit of dry sex, Masturbation, Unprotected sex, Use of a belt to restrain, A few taps on the cheek, Reader’s hand is around Spencer’s throat for a second

Main Masterlist Word Count: 3.2k

Reminiscing on the past was difficult depending on how the story had ended. Memories that may have been happy could turn too painful because of the ending result. Age turned the memories into unreliable accounts as well, unable to truly remember how things had been back then and how you had truly felt.

Memories were still something to hold onto and cherish even though they got twisted with age and opinion. Nostalgia, a sentimental or wishful affection for the past, was an addictive feeling even if it made you cry. It remained addictive even if most of your past memories had hurt you with no sentiment attached. Everyone always chased the euphoric feelings they had when looking at the ghosts of their past. Sometimes even when looking back you can find something that had once soured had turned sweet again.

Spencer had many memories that he was no longer able to look back upon for a host of reasons. Most often it was because he could no longer bear to look back on a memory of someone who had left him. Whether it was his Dad, Gideon, Hotch, Blake, Elle, and many others, looking back at them just made him often feel like everyone in his entire life had left him.

That wasn’t true of course, he still had his Mom- and you. Even with his Mom there were still many of his memories with her were still stained with guilt, though that had gotten better with time and with your help.

You had begun helping him find the benefit in looking back, trying to make the soured nostalgia a bit sweeter again. It was getting easier as time ticked by for him to open up to you about everything in his past, the good and the bad. At first you had been staring at a wall that he had been building higher and higher throughout the years, it was daunting how tall it was. When you helped take a sledgehammer to it, making it crumble beneath your effort, he pulled away for a while. He felt comfortable by himself behind his own Great Wall until you showed him the benefits of sharing the secrets he held behind it. But, you still stayed, helping him as much as you could until he was willing to open up.

It had been many months since you started your effort to help him break it down. At some point in the last months you had both fallen into a relationship, a romantic one. What had once been a platonic relationship forged from shared interests evolved into a romance emerging from the rubble of his wall.

He had even given you a key to his apartment at one point, which he had never done with anyone except the bureau. Emily was the one that really had it, but that was strictly for work reasons. This was a show of trust which was much more helpful than his wall that had reached the heights of a skyscraper.

A simple key soon turned into you staying at his place more often than at your own. You had casually mentioned one day while watching one of Spencer’s favorite documentaries that you basically lived here now. It was a true statement, most of the clothes you wore on a daily basis had been given a spot in his dresser and the toothbrush you kept there was not the one you used for travel- that one was at your place. You had begun to put your mark on Spencer’s life in a more permanent way than before.

When he had spontaneously suggested the next day that you should move in with him, you knew that your small comment had stuck in his brain. It was easy to agree to, you had said you basically already lived here, plus living with the love of your life sounded like a dream. You only had a few things that you wanted to bring over and it was mostly decorative stuff that you could’ve let go if Spencer hadn’t insisted that he wanted you to make the space your own.

While turning the space that was once solely Spencer’s into something for you both, you had found a small clear box with a blue lid, filled with pictures. Spencer didn’t have a lot of personal pictures framed, there was one with you and him by the bed, one with the team by his desk, one with him and Morgan on the living room wall, and one with you two and his Mom also hung up in the living room.

When you had shown him the box he could tell you were curious, letting you look through it without a moment of hesitation. In the past Spencer would have been wary sharing his memories with you, but now he’d let you look. If only you could get him to look at the box with you.

You weren’t surprised he didn't want to look with you once you saw the people littered throughout the snapshots. Varying people that had left were in most of them, even some you never met.

Ones with Hotch and Gideon- even one from a long time ago with his father buried at the bottom. As you browsed through them you were glad he was able to hang up that photo of him and Morgan, at least they had parted with some closure. It also helped that he still saw him regularly, he had never fully left like some of the people from his past.

One picture in particular stood out to you, it was another team photo, they seemed more carefree in this one compared to now. There was baby Spencer, before you had known him, in a birthday boy hat smiling with the rest of the team. You guessed it was around his 23rd or 24th birthday, going by the slick back gelled hair he had sported in his earlier years. He seemed so much more different back then, perhaps more carefree compared to now. But, he also seemed much more unsure of himself, maybe a bit self conscious. In the photo you could tell he was nervous, just by the look in his eyes. He still had that same look in his eyes whenever he felt nervous.

Then you looked closer at where his eyes were focused on, there was a clear line of sight from him to Elle. Elle was way less nervous in this captured moment compared to Spencer, though from what you had heard she had always been like that.

Your gaze on the photo was broken when Spencer then came into the living room where you were sitting on the couch.

You decided to test the waters to see if he might want to take a look at the photo with you, “Why do you look so nervous in this photo?”

He stopped the path he had been taking, then stood still for a second before deciding to sit next to you on the couch. Straining his neck he gazed over at the photo you were holding in your hands. It was silent for a while as he looked over it, stopping to look at his old team. Some of the team still remained intact, namely JJ, but she wasn’t the same as she had been all those years ago. You let him take it from your hands, so he could look at it closer. He cleared his throat a little, though his voice still came out slightly raspy when he spoke, though he didn’t answer the question you had asked him,“It’s the only picture I ever had taken with Elle…”

“I know you guys were- close.” You didn’t ask your previous question again, sensing that it was still too much to talk about in specifics. What he was telling you right now was even more than what he told you, only telling you that she was his first, everything. Any supplemental information was from talking discreetly to JJ about it one night because you were somewhat curious.

Tiptoeing around the relationship you knew that they had previously was like walking through a minefield. You tried the best that you could to avoid making him too upset. When you got him to open up, it wasn’t by forcing him to talk all at once. Busting the wall down was done brick by brick, not all at once.

“I’m glad you aren’t jealous of her.” His comment was said with less sadness than before. It was nice to see a glimpse of the weight coming off of his shoulders, even if it was just for a moment.

“What? Do you want me to be jealous of her?” You teased, lightheartedly so he wouldn’t dwell on the sad aspect of their past relationship. He smiled softly which deepened when you playfully stuck your tongue out and crossed your arms.

“No- you’ve got nothing to be jealous about…” Any playfulness in his voice was erased as his sentence trailed off. You didn’t say anything for a moment in case he wanted to continue his thought. And, after a moment of silence he did, “I haven’t spoken to her since she left…”

“I know- I was just joking about being jealous. I know how much she meant to you…” His eyes moved away from you, at first you thought it might be because he was still feeling the pain of losing her all those years ago. But, there was something else in his eyes, it naturally made you curious, “What are you thinking about?”

“If you were jealous- what would you have done?” His mind must have shifted away from thinking about the ending of his memories with Elle, which was a step in the right direction. At least he wasn’t avoiding the topic all together, he was still talking about her in a sense.

You bit your lip, thinking about what direction you could take this in. You weren’t going to lie, your mind had gone straight into the gutter at his suggestion and by the look on Spencer’s face so had his.

“Hmmm…” You pretended to ponder while you moved from where you were sitting on the couch to sit on something better, Spencer’s lap. Straddling him then with ease you looked down at his face tracing his cheeks with your fingers. His pupils were blown wide now, almost completely devouring his iris that had become a small ring. He didn’t say anything yet, waiting for you to continue your thought obediently, “I think I would do things to you that I suspect she never did.”

He gulped hard, hard enough that you could hear it. You continued to trace your fingers along his face, sometimes picking a lock of his hair to twirl, waiting for him to say something else like you knew he wanted to. It only took a few more seconds of your touches and your eyes staring into his own before he asked, “C-Can you show me?”

You stopped your movements, pausing for dramatic effect before crushing his lips onto your own. He squared into your mouth at first, clearly taken off guard by your sudden kiss. Before he had processed what was going on enough to let you, you forced your tongue into his mouth, earning you a delicious moan from him.

When you moved again suddenly, separating your mouth with his for just a moment, he tried to chase your lips. Pushing a finger to his lips you then used that to push him back into the couch, then answering his question, “Gladly.”

You kept your finger on his mouth to seal them shut. He could have opened it easily to respond to you, but he wanted to see what you might do next.

Instead of going back to kissing him you started to pull his belt off of him. It was difficult with one hand, taking much longer than it would be with two. But, you still kept your finger rested in the position most people use to shush someone.

Once the belt had finally been pulled from the belt loops of his slacks you finally removed your finger from his mouth. He still remained quiet, his eyes following your every move intently. You then went to work, pinning his hands above his head, then beginning to restrain them with his belt.

“Did she do this to you?” Goading him while you looped the belt around his hands. You made sure to go as slow as possible while you restrained him just to make it last longer until you gave him what he wanted. You even began to grind down on his cock a little bit, it obviously ached to be free from its confines in his trousers by how strained the slacks were getting.

“No!” His voice was broken and breathy, exactly how you wanted it as you tightened the belt around his hand a little more.

Once you were satisfied that the belt was tight enough you got off of him to remove the shorts you had been wearing, along with the rest of your clothes. Normally when you were naked and Spencer was clothed it would be when you were underneath him as a sort of power play. In this position, where he couldn’t move without fear of consequences while you restraddled him completely naked was almost even more empowering.

To play with the dynamic even more you had him remain confined in his slacks for a while longer, while you touched yourself. You were already quite wet from seeing Spencer in this position and exerting that power by pumping your fingers in you while he could do nothing had you dripping onto his slacks.

Spencer’s jaw had gone slack while watching you moan above him, completely speechless from your actions. It was almost comical and entirely too easy to tease him about, “Close your mouth you might catch flies.” His mouth clenched shut at that. It soon fell slack again at your next words while you brought yourself closer to the edge with your fingers, “What? Did she never do this for you?”

All Spencer could do was sit there and take it, shaking his head side to side, only a little so he could keep his eyes on you. You decided to be merciful, pulling your fingers out of you just before you orgasmed. You wanted to finish at the same time as him anyway.

Finally, you pulled his aching cock out of his slacks. It was throbbing in your hand as you spread your wetness with the fingers that had been inside you. Because you had edged yourself earlier, you couldn’t take teasing him any longer. You lined the head of his cock that was red and weeping up to your entrance, sinking down as fast as you could take him. While you sunk down you rubbed your clit in slow circles, not enough to make you orgasm, but enough to make it easier to take him.

Once you had fully taken him you wasted no time, immediately beginning to build up a fast pace. And, of course you couldn’t help but goad him again,

“Did she make you feel this good?” Your pace you had chosen was rough, bouncing and rolling your hips with reckless abandon while he had to take it without being able to move. He could have thrusted up into you even without the use of his hands, but he had one too many of your punishments in the past to be willing to break the rules so explicitly. Now if he ever broke the rules now it was him subtly bending them. Though, you could tell by the way his eyes rolled back into his head that he had no intention of doing that tonight. It felt too good to be used like this by you.

He still had not answered you though, not on purpose, but you still needed an answer. Tapping his cheek a few times, just hard enough to get his attention. It caused him to whine, but he still didn’t give you an answer. Since that didn’t work you decided to ask again, “I asked you a question. Did she make you feel this good? Did she use you like this?”

To add an extra edge to your words filled with a deadly tone you reached one of your hands forward to grasp around his neck. To make him look at you directly you forcefully tilted his neck, eyes once again trained on yours. He finally found it in himself to answer, “It felt good with her, but it feels best with you! I love you!”

“Good.” You simply stated and dropped your hold on his neck so you could return it to its place on his chest, using it as leverage to help you continue your fast pace. Your orgasm was fast approaching, his cock hitting you in the perfect spot, all you needed was a bit more stimulation. When you brought your hand down to run fast circles onto your clit, you soon fell apart above him. Spencer couldn’t help but look up at you in awe, speechless at how beautiful you look while you writhed on top of him.

Your own release pushed Spencer close to the edge and he started to beg, “I’m gonna cum! Please, can I?”

His hands had tightened into fists above him, knuckles going white over the effort of keeping them right where you had placed them originally. You were pleased with the way he had begged, glad that he had asked permission before even thinking about cumming. You still left him in suspense for a bit longer as you continued to work yourself on his painfully hard cock. Pressing a few kisses to his exposed skin under his collar was admittedly just to torture him a bit longer before you finally gave the command.

“Cum for me then.” Spencer followed your command eagerly, taking only two more of you bouncing on top of him to release inside you with a groan. While he rode out his release his lips captured around one of your pebbled peaks, sucking hard to get one last moan out of you.

Slumping forward after you had both finished and you had taken the belt off his wrists with the promise you’d lotion them up after you cuddled. You rested your head on his shoulder, wanting to stay as close as possible for a little while longer. He started tracing his fingers up and down your spine, relaxing you even further, almost to the point of falling asleep.

Before your eyes closed shut in post coital sleepiness your mind wandered a bit back to Elle. Elle had been an important figure in his life, his first real connection with someone special. Sure you teased about being jealous, but you thought it was important to tell him that you were ok with him thinking back on her. You knew he loved you. It most likely would take time till he was able to think or talk about her without a sharp pain in his chest, reminding him of how it all ended.

He hadn’t told you exactly what had happened, but it wasn’t hard to fill in all of the gaps. You turned your head, eyelashes fluttering when you nuzzled into his hair. Then you spoke quietly just enough so the sound could travel the short distance to his ear, “You should frame the picture, you look cute in it. And, I meant to say it earlier, I love you too.”

Ask Me Anything

—-

Tag lists (message me if you want to be added):

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @takeyourleap-of-faith

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99 @princesssmooshie

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey @princesssmooshie

Sub Spencer: @thatsonezesty13 @pastathighs @virtualpeanutartisanjudge @calm-and-doctor @princesssmooshie

[lilevixen]

heyyy, idk if u write bertholdt or are even taking requests, but if u are can i request giving bertholdt an orgasm denial from a f!reader and it’s been like 3 hours that he’s had to hold it? thanks if u can :)

sweet boy

Characters: sub!Bertholdt Hoover x dom!female bodied reader

Genre: smut

Word Count: 1.9k

Description: Reader teaches Bertholdt a lesson after he gets a bit too touchy with them in front of their friends

•WARNING- 18+ CONTENT: orgasm denial, no-contact orgasm, descriptions of oral sex (male receiving), dacryphilia(ish?)•

“Baby, please, I said I was s-sorry!” Bertholdt whined from across the room for what felt like the millionth time that evening. You casted a look of faux boredom over your shoulder from your small wooden desk, trying your best to remain blasé at the mouth-watering sight of your boyfriend still sat criss-cross applesauce completely bare on the bed. He was so good for you, so obedient; his arms never once left from behind his back for entirety of the time you had him there. How long did you have him there? After you two got back from the dining hall, minutes easily spilled into hours in the smudgy haze of repressed lust you had established. The only indicator of how long Berthodlt had been sitting there for, cock upright and twitching for attention, was how absolutely worn out he looked. Every inch of his deep, tan skin was glittering with sweat, cords of muscle in his thighs and abdomen strained beneath his flesh so severely they looked like they could snap any second, his chest heaved erratically as if he had just run a marathon- this was absolute torture for him, you could tell. You would’ve felt bad, if he hadn’t disobeyed you in the first place.

“Huh? I was reading, sweetie. I didn’t hear you,” a bald-faced lie on your part. Your eyes kept tracking over the same paragraph over and over again without absorbing any of the information in your brain, the sweet pleas of your boyfriend claiming all the space in your mind instead. His lip quivered at your persistence in feigning ignorance of his situation and tears quickly filled his dark eyes.

“P-Please! Can you please t-touch me? I need you so bad I think I might e-explode,” he stammered out, his voice meek but desperate, shameless, so needy and you felt it throb between your legs, adding to the arousal already collecting along your inner thighs. Despite how incredibly turned on you were, you let out a slow sigh hiss past your lips as if you were getting irritated.

“Well, you got to touch me plenty, sweets. In front of everyone, just like I asked you not to,” excitement overtook your annoyance some time ago, but what you brought up was a genuine point of contention. From the very beginning you made it clear you wanted your relationship to be private. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of him or anything, you just hated all the unnecessary attention couples garnered, all the mindless gossip and speculation of who plays what role, the whispers, the stares. And once Bertholdt had gotten comfortable with you, always seeking your touch like a love sick little puppy, you knew this was something that needed to be discussed. He agreed at the time, ‘if it means I get to be with you, I guess it’s okay,’ he said, but as things progressed he would give away your relationship in little ways. At first it was just the way he would look at you (which was only natural given your feeling for each other, you supposed), staring at your lips for a little too long when you spoke, a little twinkle of fondness in his warm eyes. You let this slide, because it was minimal and no one seemed to notice. But slowly, he started doing more and more things that you had to call him out on, resting his head on your shoulder, using his thumb to tenderly swipe crumbs of food off your face, nearly calling you baby- until finally, tonight in the dining hall while having supper with your friends, he practically announced you two were together by kissing your hand when you burnt it on a scalding bowl of soup. Porco was too involved with his food to notice, but you could feel Reiner and Annie’s eyes hovering over you as if you were an alien. Too embarrassed to handle their reactions, you excused yourself to your room and quickly left before they even had a chance to say anything, Bertholdt obviously right on your heels. He tried to embrace you and kiss you and apologize to make it all better, but his penchant for physical affection was what got you in this situation in the first place. So that’s when you decided to give him a little time-out. Even though, your edge was starting to wear down after hearing him whine out for you for so long.

“I know! I-I just don’t like seeing you get hurt! I didn’t think they were looking at us, I’m sorry Y/N!” he choked out, squirming against the air as if that would provide some sort of relief. “I’m s-so hard for you it feels like ‘m gonna pass out.”

“Oh really? And what do you want me to do about that?” You asked in a snarky tone to mask the unadulterated lust pulsing through you, going back to fake-reading your text book.

“I want you to touch me! I want to feel you, any part of you, until I cum over and over…” you could hear the thought in his voice as he got lost in what he was describing, and you didn’t need to turn around to know he was biting his lip with his head tilted back, eyes squeezed shut and brows knitted. Another hot rush of arousal swirled in deep in your stomach.

“You know I can’t do that, baby,” you said against your own body’s command.

“Y-Yes you can! I promise I’ll be good from now on, I w-won’t hold your hand or kiss you or hug you in front of anyone again! Just please, I need you Y/N,” maybe it was your own excitement, or how fucking good he sounded begging for you like a pitiful little boy, but this finally broke your resolve. It would be cruel to let him stay there like that all night, anyway. You pushed yourself out of your seat and made your way to Berthdolt’s trembling form on the bed. Even you just getting closer to him caused his heavy breathing to pick up pace.

“How do you want me, my sweet boy?” you purred, laying down flat on your stomach before his lanky body so that his dick towered above you like a skyscraper.

“A-Any way,” he looked down at you beneath his dark, fluttering lashes, swiveling his hips in anticipation of your touch. You let out a soft scoff.

“Be specific or I can’t help you~,” you said with a sweet lilt in your voice, harsh words laced with honey. His eyes blew open wide at your threat to leave him a writhing, unfulfilled mess for even longer than you already had.

“Can you take me in your mouth? Please?” A new wave of blush spread across his cheeks as he said this, and you couldn’t help but smile at how cute he was.

“There you go, baby,” you giggled. You guided your featherlight fingertips along the slick muscle of his thighs, causing him to tense up immediately, and you could actually see the thrum of his heartbeat racing beneath his skin in faint flits. He was so sensitive by now you didn’t doubt he would explode just like he said before. Your fingers playfully walked along the slope of his legs, working their way inwards, and you teased them to a gradual stop mere inches from where he needed you most. He was panting like a dog at this point, chest rising and falling violently as he looked down at you, jaw slack and eyes cloudy with frustrated tears.

“You’ve been waiting for this, huh?” You dragged your tongue along your lower lip and leaned in close to his pulsating cock so that your breath fanned across his shaft, digging your fingers into the tendons of his inner thigh. He gasped, the shock of you finally gracing him with some sort of stimulation overwhelming his worked-up body, and a throb of pleasure shot through his dick with such alarming intensity that you could see it expand in his veins and swell at the tip. You blinked up at him, a bit startled yourself. He was so close already and you barely even touched him… Maybe you didn’t even need to touch him.

“U-Uhuh!” He nodded frantically, tears now spilling down his flushed face and drool dribbling down his chin; the sight would’ve been sad if it wasn’t so fucking hot. You massaged your fingertips into the thin, sweat-slicked skin on either side of his balls and slowly moved your lips upwards so that they were ghosting the hot, leaking head of his penis. His whole body shuddered underneath you, hips eagerly twitching to meet your lips, but only mildly, timidly, making it clear he was still completely under your control.

“I bet you’ve been imagining this for so long, my lips around your cock, feeling me squeeze you in my throat,” you hummed, your lips just barely brushing his dickhead as you spoke, and to him the vibration of your voice and the warm flutters of your breath against him felt just as sensational as the euphoric grip of your walls after hours of waiting for any kind of attention. This was exactly what you suspected, what you were hoping. He was such a desperate mess that he could get off to just your words and proximity. “Can you feel it? My pretty little mouth drooling around you?”

“A-Ah! Yes!” He cried out, and his stiff cock slapped against his belly eagerly as if he was truly feeling every bit of what you were describing, hell, even you were starting to feel it from his reactions alone, the ache between your legs growing almost painful.

“Does my sweet boy want to cum down my throat?” You kept steady eye contact with him, savoring every bit of watching him crumble before you, intentionally letting your breath pour past your lips in heavy pants, and he bucked into the air with each puff, his abdomen flexed tight and his thighs shuddering.

“Ahaha y-yes please!” He whimpered, the rhythm of his hips gently rising to meet your breath becoming twitchy and unstable, a clear sign that he was on the brink of long-awaited release. A coy smile played at the ends of your lips as you batted your lashed up at him.

“Then cum for me,” and on command, his whole body convulsed under the weight of sweet, sweet climax, at long last, the hugest load you’d ever seen erupting out of him in thick, hot torrents that sprayed right in his face. You were so proud of him, your poor baby, putting up with your little act for hours on end despite yearning for you so immensely that you didn’t even need to touch his cock for him to bust. He just loved you that much and why exactly? You quite honestly didn’t know. You almost felt the need to apologize for treating him so cruelly, but at the end of the day you were trying to teach him a lesson, and based on how he was looking at you, right eye squeezed shut to prevent cum from getting in his eye, body rattling with exhaustion, it was safe to say he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. The least you could do was help him clean up. You got up on your knees and took his clammy face in your hands, gliding your tongue along his salty skin to get rid of all the cum, saliva, tears- whatever fluids were coating his face. When you were done, you pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I love you, my sweet boy.”

||

A/N:

HEYYY LOVELIESSS💓💓 here’s my first official completed request (woohoo)!!! Bertholdt is not usually a character I would accept writing but this request kinda had me GRRRR ya know (thank you for that anon, I truly hope you’ll enjoy this! This was my first time writing orgasm denial too so idk if i did it right NAKWKA)? BUTTT yeah here ya go, bloop ilyyyy

~Bunny

[minor-solemnity]

yay you're taking requests!! i would lovee if you could doing a tom and reader pair. something fluffy, maybe when he wants to make sure he didn't hurt her during sexy time😳 idk something along the lines of aftercare. love you bb

Ahh thank you and yesss aftercare, fluff, comfort - all my favourite things! I hope you enjoy this because I had a lot of fun writing it haha <3

Tag List: @naps-and-lemons @jinxqsu @riddles-wifey @cakesarecute @mainlynonsense

Companion Fic: Truth Will Out

Tender, We Lay Bound

“Darling, you were perfect,” He murmurs. He tilts your head upwards and you take in his expression, concerned and fond and proud. Of you - Tom’s proud of you, and that realisation does wonders in settling your nerves. “Come here, let me look after you.”

You flop back against the soft pillows and immediately begin to burrow under the covers, feeling sated and glowing in the aftermath of your orgasm. What you want right now is a hug and to fall asleep in Tom’s arms. Tom it seems has other ideas though and you poke your head out from under the duvet, still feeling hazy and dizzy and slightly giddy. You watch with mild curiosity and confusion as he roots around in his bedside table drawer for a few seconds before he finds what he’s looking for. He passes you a small vial, not dissimilar from the one that he’d given you earlier, except the vial you're holding now is full of something that looks like mercury.

It’s at this point that your euphoric daze begins to lift and the gravity of what you’ve just done begins to set in, burying itself deep in your stomach and churning uncomfortably. You down the potion and the last effects of the Veritaserum lifts - your tongue feels like your own again and you know that if Tom were to ask you anything right now, it would only be his scarily accurate ability to weed out untruths that would stop you from lying. Well, that and the fact that you don’t like lying to him anyway.

The vial drops from your hands and you stare blankly at the canopy of his bed, willing the array of emotions that tumble around inside of you to still and calm. It’s no use though, now that you’ve started thinking about it and the implications of what you’ve done - what you’ve said - you can’t stop. You reach for Tom because of course, you do, and when you find him, you don’t let go.

“I… Was that okay?” You ask, and of course, what you’re really asking is if you were okay, if he’s pleased with you. You feel him shift and then his arms are wrapping around your torso, rubbing gentle, reassuring strokes down your sides as he pulls you close. Despite the slow rising anxiety inside you, you smile when he presses his lips against your forehead, the heat and weight of his body, and the calm, confident strokes of his hands are reassuring in a way that is impossible to fully describe.

“Darling, you were perfect,” He murmurs. He tilts your head upwards and you take in his expression, concerned and fond and proud. Of you - Tom’s proud of you, and that realisation settles your nerves as nothing else can. “Come here, let me look after you.” You press yourself close to him, throwing a leg over his hip and nestling against his side, your fingers splayed across his chest as he brushes your hair, damp with sweat, away from your eyes.

You stay like that, slotted together in quiet, peaceful silence for a few minutes, as your breathing deepens and a drowsy contentedness begins to take root and grow inside of you, overshadowing the worry you had been feeling earlier. Eventually, he shifts and you cling to his side, entirely unwilling to let him leave, but all he does is reach over and take a glass of water from his bedside table which he presses into your hands. “Drink this, you’ll feel better, I promise.” He watches you intently as you take a couple of gulps and pass it back to him, and you’re struck by how caring he’s being. It’s not a side of Tom that many people get to see; he’s an enigma to most other people. Polite, charming, a little distant, and very intimidating when he wants to be, but with you, he’s softer. Especially in moments like this when all his energy is focused on your wellbeing and happiness.

“Did I push you too far?” He asks at last, and you almost don’t want to answer. Because you’re honestly not sure - you’ve never been very good at talking about your feelings, something that you know annoys Tom, who wants to know every part of you as intimately as he can. You’re certain that’s why he wanted to use the Veritaserum - to allow you to tell him your wants and desires without the culpability of free will to get in the way.

You mull over your words carefully before answering, “It was… a lot?” And then, because he stiffens slightly, you continue, “I… You know I’m not good at telling you what I want. It’s embarrassing and I get scared that you’ll—” Realise that you’re not the person he wants. Find someone better. Leave. “—judge me, I guess.” He makes a low noise of protest in the back of his throat and a soft chuckle escapes you at the sound. “I enjoyed it though? I guess I’m surprised at how much I enjoyed it.” Without the Veritaserum in your system to force you to be honest, this admission feels far more important than any of the things you’d told him earlier. Honesty for the sake of honesty is not something you’re all that familiar with and you can tell by the way that Tom smiles, soft and indulgent and maybe a little smug that his plan worked the way he wanted it to, that he’s appreciative of you’re telling him the truth.

He passes you the water again and you drink obediently. Now that you’re more aware of your surroundings, you notice the way he watches you, taking in your every move and action no matter how minor, his eyes flickering across your face as though he’s trying to catalogue and dissect every micro-expression. His attentiveness and care fans the warm flame of love and happiness that burn bright inside of you whenever you’re near him. His expression grows serious for a moment and he reaches out to run his thumb across your cheek, curving your jaw before he twines a lock of your hair around his fingers. “I would never have suggested it if I didn’t think you’d enjoy it.” He says. “You have so many delicious thoughts hidden from me. I want to know all of them - all of you - and I’d never judge you for your desires.” Sincerity laces his voice, and though you know that he is an excellent liar, capable of hoodwinking almost anyone, you also know that he won’t lie to you about this. “Everything you told me tonight, can really only endear me to you more.”

A faint flush creeps up your neck and along your cheeks at his words and you bury your face in his chest, feeling more than hearing his laughter. “How?” Because you’d been fairly explicit in describing all the ways you wanted Tom to ruin you for anyone else, and whilst he certainly doesn’t seem put off by your secrets, you can’t really imagine why.

“Because I want the same things,” He says this simple and without shame, which is entirely unsurprising because you're not sure that Tom has ever once felt shame for things he wants, he begins to pet the top of your head and the light pressure of his palm against your scalp grounds and reassures you. “When I say I want to know all of you, I mean that there is no part of you that could possibly repulse me, of that I’m quite certain.” He pauses, and then adds in a more serious tone, “That you trust me to take you over the brink and bring you back again is… Important to me.” You hum in response and the two of you fall into a slow and easy quiet for a few minutes before he reaches over and finds a book. “Would you like me to read to you?” At your mumbled yes please, he huffs a quiet breath of laughter. Him reading to you has become a routine of sorts, on the days when you’re too tired from school, or, in this case, sex, he’ll recite passages from whatever book he’s reading at the time until everything but his voice is drowned out.

You can’t exactly remember when it was that you realised that you love him, or when you realised that he loves you, but in moments like this, when the world fades and all there that is left is the two of you, you feel that spring of love and safety begin to overflow. It’s just as overwhelming as everything else that has happened tonight and you lay there, in Tom’s bed, in Tom’s arms, drifting through the afterglow of your pleasure, your worries and anxieties abated as his voice, soft and smooth, soothes you to sleep.

Companion Piece: Truth Will Out

[hyetomi]

LETTERS TO TXT

Choi Yeonjun

Pairings: gn reader x yeonjun

Genre: best friends to lovers au, fluff

Summary: Choi Yeonjun and Y/N. Like two peas in a pod, they’ve been attached at the hip since they were 8. Now, at 17, it was obvious to anyone with common sense that they were so in love with each other. It was about time one of them confessed. Who would do it first, before any of them slips up?

Notes: the first fic of the letters to txt series !! im quite disappointed with the way this turned out but i worked hard on it and scrapped it so many times already 😭 i didnt know how to end the story so it's an open-ending !! feel free to imagine what yeonjun does! if you want a part 2, do let me know!

Yeonjun stood in front of his locker, bewildered. He held up the envelope in front of him and examined it. Maybe… it was a mistake? Surely, this didn’t belong to him. The envelope was blank, with no information about the sender, nor the recipient. It made him wonder, what if the envelope was mistakenly slipped into his locker? 

His curiosity, however, got the best of him. He took the envelope, slammed his locker shut, and walked over to an empty classroom next to his locker. He slowly opened the envelope, making sure not to damage it so he could seal it back, in case it did not belong to him. He was surprised to see a letter folded in it and raised an eyebrow at the very beautiful decorations of the paper. He unfolded the letter, only for his jaw to drop and eyes go wide as saucers. The handwriting was so familiar and he definitely knew who it belonged to. Only one person in his mind could write as uniquely as the writer of this letter.

Dear Yeonjun,

(so it did belong to him!)

I’m guessing by now, you’ve figured out who wrote this. Your partner in crime, your soulmate, your only hope to pass Biology, and your best friend. We’ve known each other since 2nd grade and I’ve seen every single phase you’ve gone through and you’ve seen mine. Remember how we met? You accidentally killed my pet ladybug 一 Spots, I think 一 and then cried about it for the whole day because you felt so bad. It was traumatizing for me as a child. I had to comfort the boy who killed my pet. Looking back at it, though, it’s a really funny story. A story worth telling my grandchildren!

(Yes, Yeonjun does remember. It was very embarrassing. He doesn’t think he’s a pretty crier.)

Before you overthink or worry, I’m not going anywhere. I promised you that I’d stay by your side until the end of time and I vowed to myself that I will keep that promise. Anyways, before we get too sappy, I’ll get to the point of this letter.

I like you. 

Yeonjun dropped the letter in shock. What? He scrambled to pick up the letter after regaining his composure. He felt excited and ran his hand through his blue hair, pulling the ends of each strand, making sure that he was not dreaming. He then scanned the line over and over again. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. Those 3 words were swarming in his mind. He felt giddy at the fact that you like him back. You! Like! Him! Back! He snapped out of his trance at the sound of the whistleblowing from the field outside the classroom. Realizing what he was doing previously, he immediately skimmed through the letter to find the part where he left off.

Heck, I’m pretty sure like turned into love at some point. I realized my feelings when you were stressed over your dance competition and called me because you were so upset. Why didn’t you call Soobin? Or Beomgyu? When I voiced to you my thoughts, you answered: ‘Because no one can make me as euphoric as you do. You make my unhappy thoughts go away.’ I swear, I could’ve melted on the spot. My heart has never pumped blood that fast, not even Shin’s P.E. class can beat it. Then, you took my hands and we danced together under the dim lights of the dance room. It was 1 in the morning on a school day, but we didn’t have a care in the world. I remember how we laughed so much that night morning. I think I’ve never laughed as much as I did back then.

(He remembers it too. It’s Yeonjun’s favorite memory with you. He remembers your pretty laugh and your pretty eyes and how you held his hands and how he stared at you longingly while you danced. He remembers feeling as if he couldn’t breathe, butterflies swarming his stomach. He remembers how he wanted to say the words ‘I love you’ so bad, but stopped himself. He remembers how he couldn’t get the image of you under the lights of the dance studio no matter how hard he tried.)

I really don’t want to inflate your ego too much, but honestly, you are the best thing that has happened to me. Like mutualism symbiosis, we help each other a lot. As cliche as it is, you make me so happy. The way your eyes would light up whenever I brought you food after your dance practice, or how the first thing you do when you pick me up after class is to hug me… these things never fail to cheer me up. Your smile has always been a cute characteristic of yours and as much as I hate saying this, I love our height difference as it helped you ruffle my hair easily. You’d always put your chin on my head to piss me off, but lately, it’s doing the opposite of that. Ha, loser. You can never beat me.

(Yeonjun rolls his eyes as he lets out a small laugh. Of course, you’d insult him after complimenting him.)

I’m not going to write too much because I feel like this has gone way much longer than I’ve expected. You might be asking: ‘Why didn’t I confess earlier?’ Well, Choi, I don’t know how you’ll react to this. I could’ve always swallowed my embarrassment and confessed to your face days, weeks, or months ago. But I wasn’t always the bravest out of the both of us, was I? I don’t know whether you like me back, or if we’ll still be friends after this, or if I made things awkward between us. However, I’ll take the chances. (If you do reject me, however, please do it nicely.)

Anyways, you’ll know where to find me 一 that is, if you want to. Before you do anything, however, know that I regret nothing. I definitely do not regret writing this (even if I just added onto your cockiness.) 

Love,

Y/N

P.S. Your charger and Literature textbook are with me so you have no choice but to find me.

Yeonjun glanced at the ceiling in bliss after he finished reading your letter. He glanced at the clock. 4 in the afternoon. At this time, you’d usually just finished practicing in the music room. He has to catch you before you leave. Don’t get him wrong, he loves you, but he is NOT walking to your house after a long day of PE class. 

“Better get going,” he mumbled, making sure he tucks in the chair he was previously sitting on. 

He skipped to the music room, eager to find you. (Not before tripping over his own feet and nearly crashing into Soobin 一 seriously, what was he still doing in school?)

[knchins]

Heaven Sent, Hell Proof - Two

Summary: An angel named Keigo is assigned to win over the soul of a mysterious woman for heaven. He quickly finds that he is not the only one with his eyes on her. Can he get to her before his arch rival does?

Pairing: Angel!Hawks x Reader x Demon!Dabi

Rating: M (for now)

Word Count: 3k

Bingo Prompt: Angels and Demons

Warnings: Mentions of noncon, minor yandere themes

Notes: This is only going to be three parts! I figure it was going to be around 10k and it looks like I was right lol. I hope everyone enjoys part two! And stay tuned in the upcoming weeks for the final part that will include some very...steamy scenes.

Part One → Part Two →  Part Three

 Keigo had always been confident in his speed, especially while flying. What he wasn’t confident in, however, was how skilled his demonic adversary was in tailing him. Any time he left headquarters, he would sense Dabi nearby. They were after the same thing of course, but what the red winged angel didn’t understand was why he didn't try to find her independently. Why was Dabi so focused on whether or not he could find her himself?

 On the third day, he finally got sick of it. He coasted back down to the ground where the demon was hiding in plain sight and landed right in front of him. “Shouldn’t you be out searching for my girl instead of sniffing after my trail?” He asked, an indifferent look on his face.

 Dabi smiled in a particularly devious way that had Keigo taking a step backwards. “What’s wrong, Feathers? Can’t take the heat of a demon on your six? Don’t you trust me?”

 “I trust that you have some ulterior motive.” Hawks snapped back, wings flexing behind his back as some sort of show of strength. Not that it had any affect on Dabi.

 The demon shrugged nonchalantly, “Actually, I thought maybe we could team up this time. Just this once. This girl is something special, don’t you think? Half angel, half human, left to live on earth and not in heaven. Definitely the sluttiest virgin I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to rip that flower from her dainty little hands.”

 Dabi noticed the sharp feathers of his wings puff out, standing on end as they tended to do whenever Keigo felt threatened or aggravated. “Don’t talk about her like that. You are not going to defile an angel.”

 “She’s not an angel, Keigo.” Dabi said, his voice turning serious suddenly. “She is an abomination, said so by the gods. She belongs in hell with the rest of us. Do you not read your own holy scripture? What do you think they do with nephilim in heaven, bird brain? You think they let them exist as they are?”

 Keigo was silent. That had been what he was led to believe. That their half angelic souls resided in heaven. That they were given the same treatment as any god-made angel. However, Dabi was right. The scripture did state that hybrids between man and the celestial were not natural. However anything beyond that just fell short from his memory.

 “The pages were missing, right?” Dabi said, seeing the turning wheels in Keigo’s head creaking to a stop as they were met with an impasse. “Ripped out of every version in heaven and earth. Trust me, I know. I know because I’ve been there- and you know that I was. You work for my father, after all. I fell because I wanted answers no one could provide. The gaps in memory. The rules that didn’t make sense. The missing information. It’s all in hell, bird brain. I know everything your daddy wants to keep hush hush.”

 “Why would the creators do something so demonic?” Keigo asked with a huff, his feathers relaxing the tiniest bit. “What purpose would that have?”

 “What purpose?” Dabi scoffed, “What did my father tell you about this girl? That heaven needed her for the apocalypse? Do you always believe everything you’re told?”

 Keigo stared at him with a blank expression, unsure of how he should answer. Why would Enji lie to him? Why would anyone lie to him? Again what purpose would that serve? He was clearly growing frustrated.

 The demon knew exactly how Keigo felt, because he too had once been in his shoes. An angel trying to do the right thing. When would he learn that Heaven wasn’t always about doing the right thing? “Listen, Feathers, the reason she was able to live this long is because no one could find her. Her powers only recently awakened and when they did it was like a homing beacon for everyone above and below. She’s more powerful than the average nephilim because of her lineage.”

 “Who is her father?” Hawks asked, tired of the run around. “If he is so powerful then why could he not find her?”

 “He kept her secret, no one knew she existed until a week ago. Why they sent you, bird brain, I’ll never know. Maybe my dear old dad just enjoys using his little soldier boy to do his dirty work. Maybe you’re just so naive and eager to believe their lies that they thought you could be trusted. What they didn’t count on was me.” Blue flames sprouted from either of Dabi’s hands. “If this is such an important mission, why not send the angel who sired her himself? Why not let him deal with it?”

 Again, Keigo was quiet. Dabi did have a valid point. If something as big as the apocalypse was on the line, then why send a lower ranking official such as himself. “Who is her-”

 The flames grew brighter. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? Angels that copulate with humans get dusted. They get thrown down to hell. But this angel is  so   powerful that Heaven wouldn’t dream of doing that. Who is the one angel that that could possibly be?”

 His golden eyes widened, jaw slackening, “Toshinori Yagi…”

  The urge to use her powers had been growing more and more prevalent in the back of her mind. She had lived twenty years without them, so why did she suddenly feel the need to use them at any time she could? Was it simply because of convenience? The thrill of teleporting anywhere in the matter of seconds was just so exhilarating. No more driving, no more waiting at the bus stop, and no more walking. Just pop in and pop back home, that’s it.

 She had lived in isolation for most of her life without the need for others. True, up until a year ago it had been with her mother and at first the loneliness was suffocating, but now it was just simpler to be by herself. She didn’t have to explain why she could do the things no one else could. She didn’t have to worry if they were really an angel or demon in disguise to whisk her away. The only one she could trust was herself and that was the one person in all of the realms that she needed.

 While she had conceded that not interacting with people was necessary, she did admit that it could be quite lonesome. She had found herself watching more and more romance movies as a way to surrogate that feeling of being with someone. Twenty years old and never been touched, what a joke. Virginity had been hammered into her brain since she was old enough to understand what it was.

 But since that fateful encounter with the red winged angel and burn scar demon, she had found herself longing for companionship more and more. The demon had spoken incessantly about the things he would do to her, and at this point she kind of hoped it was more a promise. To her, her innocence was a curse that would haunt her until she could finally get rid of it once and for all.

 She had been praying to her father at night for guidance, but she had heard nothing in return. Typical. She had never seen his face and didn’t know his real name. Heaven’s mightiest angel, my ass, she thought bitterly as she walked down the street to the convenience store.

 Her mother had taught her not to trust neither angels nor demons. Other angels would kill her and demons would want her for more nefarious purposes, ones she didn’t have to think too hard to figure out. Maybe though, just maybe those things wouldn’t be too bad. Was it possible for her to fall into hell and become a half-demon instead of half-angel? She wished she had asked her mother while she was still alive. It was too late now though.

 A sigh left her lips as she lifted her head. She walked past an alleyway where she could hear two men talking. She stopped abruptly, recognizing the voices.

     “Toshinori Yagi…”  

 The name stirred something deep within her, she recognized it but couldn’t place who the person was. She blinked in surprise, having never guessed she’d run into the two after her randomly like that. Not after she had taken precaution not to use her powers and keep herself hidden.

 Something stopped her from running away. Fight, flight, or freeze as they say. She stood still, watching them with a curious mixture of horror and fascination.

 Dabi noticed her first, a smirk on his mismatched face. “Well, looky here. Guess we don’t have to keep combing the city any longer, bird brain.”

 Keigo turned his head, eye widening when he saw her. She was radiant as ever, standing there with a dumbfounded look on her face. Clearly she wasn’t expecting to run into them either. Quickly his eyes snapped to Dabi, “Don’t you dare lay a finger on her.” He said through gritted teeth. His feathers stood on end once more, wings flexing as they tended to do when he got anxious.

 “Please, I wouldn’t dream of it, Feathers. At least, not while you’re here.” Dabi said in a sly voice as he approached the nephilim in front of him. “Don’t you want to come with us, doll? Maybe decide who’s side you want to join? The one willing to snuff out your existence or the one that will make you more powerful than you can even imagine?”

 Her eyes seemed to grow even larger at his words. Power? Did she want power? There was no denying that the small amount she had been playing around with since her gifts awakened had breathed new life into her. All her life she had felt as if she were going through the motions, not real thought put into anything she did. She kept her head down and kept out of sight, doing the same boring thing day in and day out.

 Now that she could do so much more, she truly felt alive for the first time. It was amazing, euphoric even. She knew the gods would rip this power from her and dismantle her existence into nothingness. Were the demons any better though? What would they do to her besides a lifetime of torture? Of course, that was just what her mother told her. She had never had any contact with an actual demon, though she was reluctant to even trust what one would tell her.

  “You can give me that?” She asked tentatively, her voice portraying her uncertainty. Dabi didn’t seem to take an offense to this as Keigo watched him with doubt.

 The demon reached out, brushing her hair back behind her ear in a way that caused butterflies to erupt in her chest. “I can give you that and so much more.”

 Suddenly Keigo’s hand was on Dabi’s wrist, ripping the scarred hand away from the woman before him. “Wait a minute, I deserve a chance for her to hear my side too.” He said, releasing the demon once he was confident that he wouldn’t touch his charge again.

 “Settle down, I said she could decide, didn’t I?” He asked with a scoff. “Though once you know the full truth, I believe you may be more...accepting of my offer to her. After all, heaven would have her smote for simply existing.”

 Keigo fell silent once more, his gold eyes piercing the half-angel. Her beauty was astounding, captivating him yet like a shiny object might a crow. He didn’t know what to think about what Dabi was confessing to him, but he did know that he would do anything to protect her. Even if that meant he had to fall from heaven to do so. He took her delicate hands into his. “Please, come with us.” His voice was deep and pleading. “I’ll keep you safe, no matter what.”

 She quickly realized she had no will to resist him and found herself nodding her head. She took both of his hands into hers as she fell deep into his bright golden eyes. “What is your name?”

 “Keigo…”

  The three of them arrived at her apartment and she told them to make themselves comfortable. Dabi took the opportunity to tell her that the only way he’d be comfortable was if he were between her naked legs, but she chose to ignore the statement.

 Hawks sat on the couch while Dabi took to the plush recliner. Their host was in the kitchen making tea for the three of them. “I have always heard conflicting things of what would happen to me if I were to ascend to heaven.” She said, speaking loudly enough for her two guests to hear her. “My mother would say one thing and then turn around and contradict herself in the same breath.”

 Dabi was nodding his head, despite her inability to see it. Keigo was giving him a wicked side-eye. “So what have you heard, princess?” He asked. “Just so I can point you in the right direction.”

 “Heaven wants me dead.” She said calmly as she entered the living room with a tray of hot tea and a small assortment of cookies. “However, also that angels were trustworthy and will protect me. My father loves me, but won’t respond to my prayers or give me some kind of sign that he even knows that I exist.”

 She took a seat next to the angel as she poured herself some tea. “How can angels be trusted if they only want me dead? How can my father love me if he denies my very existence?”

 The demon tutted, giving her a mock sympathetic look that she saw right through. “I bet bird brain here will tell you something similar. That you are important to heaven and that you will be reunited with your family there once and for all. The truth is, princess, heaven doesn’t just want you dead. It wants to see your existence completely erased for good. Nephilim don’t go to heaven or hell or even purgatory. The road stops completely for them. Only a god has the power to make a soul completely vanish, but I can assure that every single nephilim that has ever existed has wound up in the hands of one in one way or another. And that’s because they employ some idiot lower tier angel to guide them up there sooner rather than later.”

 “You see, we’re only sent after people that are about to die. Your time on Earth was counting down the second we were assigned to your case.” Dabi said rather nonchalantly as he sat with one leg thrown over the arm of the chair. “So this here angel is trying to aid in your demise. You don’t want that, do you?”

 Keigo was uncharacteristically silent. Was what Dabi was saying true? Would she vanish without a trace as soon as he took her to the proverbial pearly gates? He had never in his life been faced with such a terrible decision.

 He had never felt enamored with anyone before her. The need to wrap his wings around her and shield her from harm felt like his most basic instinct at this point. No other charge had that sort of affect on him. And because of that, he was actually thinking of believing Dabi. He took the demons words in carefully, assessing them, and searching for any sort of dishonesty.

 His heart shattered when he could find none. He knew in the deepest recesses of his soul that Dabi was telling the truth about what the gods would do with his little half-angel. Nothing was more terrifying to him than losing her.

 “I am…” he almost choked on the words, hating himself for having to even say them, “in agreement with Touya- I mean, Dabi.” He said, correcting himself. “It doesn’t seem like heaven will be a safe place for you.”

 She looked at him with warm and caring eyes, clearly seeing how much he was hurting. Many angels had empathic abilities, so it wasn’t farfetched to think that she would have them too. “Demons are supposed to be great liars, but even I can sense that he’s telling the truth.” She said, rather plainly. “But if I do choose him and descend into hell, then what will become of you? I do not want you to get in trouble for my decision.”

 “I will go with you.” He said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the mortal world. “Tear my wings from my back and accept damnation with open arms as long as I could stay by your side.”

 Dabi straightened himself in the chair, somewhat surprised by his confession. Was his arch rival serious in changing sides? Falling from heaven, transitioning from angel to devil, was an extremely painful process. Obviously, he had the scars to prove it. Keigo’s signature red wings would be ripped from his flesh and a creature that had previously never known the feeling of pain would know nothing but. Some didn’t survive the fall and instead descended into madness.

 There was always a chance of something going wrong, however the demon kept it to himself for the time being. “I know how to take care of you two birds with one stone.” He said, unable to stop the twisted smile that graced over his mismatched features.

 Keigo didn’t like that look, not one big. The nephilim next to him was also feeling a little weary, thinking that perhaps she should take more time in her decision. “What is it?” She asked tentatively.

 “Feathers is not going to like it.” He said in a taunting voice, as if he were dangling something irresistible over their heads.

 Keigo’s sharp eyes were narrowed with distrust. “Just spit it out, Monster Mash.” He said in a rumbling tone as one feathered wing flexed to wrap around his charge so that he could force her closer to him for protection. She moved so that she was sitting right against him, his wing enveloping her with his body heat.

 “It’s time for you two to pop your cherries.” He said, grin growing even wider in the process. “And I’m going to be the one to do it.”

Masterlist || Request Rules

Tag List: @dabi-hates-fish​, @hawksward​, @httppariis​, @kurinhimenezu​, @sinclairsamess​ (comment/message to be added to the taglist to the final part or my permanent tag list!)

[thedistrictsleepsalonetonight]

Your mess is mine

Sue may only be a math major, but she knows this much about telling a story: it needs to have a beginning, middle, and an end.  

If she were to sit down and write one, here is where it would start — Emily laughs and she falls in love. It doesn’t matter the year, the month, or the minute; when Emily laughs, she falls in love. Sue’s a little slow when these things are concerned, love doesn’t come to her as quickly or as easily as it has historically come to Emily. I saw you in the coffee shop and I knew you were the one, she’s fond of telling Sue, usually during fights. It’s highly annoying that Emily thinks it’d work on her. Even more annoying is the fact that it does. 

Alright, does she have moments of intense déjà vu sometimes? Like when they’re lying in bed, after one of Austin’s house parties, and Sue curls up into Emily’s soft shoulders, plays with her pretty, pretty hands? Or when she catches Emily conked out in front of her laptop in a corner table at the café on her break and gently wakes her up? Sure. But isn’t that what love is? The same five gestures repeated in infinite ways, creating a well of infinite affection. So if walking the steps with Emily settles deep into her bones without flinching, as if they’ve done this before, she’s convinced that it’s because they’re well and truly perfect together. 

(Definitely not because — and this is something that has been occurring to her more and more lately — they were star-crossed lovers in a past life a century ago.) 

(That would be crazy.) 

(Right?) 

***** 

Falling in love aside, Emily can be really, infuriatingly, secretive about the worst of things. Sometimes it is charming, watching her having to pick her way through multiple explanations, create long-winded detours just to attempt to confuse Sue into getting exasperated enough to drop the subject altogether. But that’s at the very end, when it turns out that she was going to all this trouble to make sure Sue wasn’t going to find out she’d gotten her that one Hawaiian shirt Sue had off-handedly admired once, aeons ago. Or that she’s been holed up in their room all day because she’s been setting up lights in honor of it being exactly six months since they first hugged. Which is why she is more resigned that surprised when Lavinia sits down in front of her, leans in, and asks her what she’s doing for Emily’s birthday next week. 

Sue sneaks a look at Emily who is currently chatting with an old lady who usually comes in on the weekends. Her girlfriend happens to be one of those baristas who is beloved by the elderly, God only knows why. All the older ladies will hang back at the counter and tell her all about their grandkids’ schools and ballet recitals. In return, Emily will rant to them about college and apparently, Sue as well, which was something she discovered one day when she walked in and two old ladies gave her teasing yet approving smiles from their table. 

(And then took her aside to whisper — Showing a little skin wouldn’t do any harm and would keep your girl on her toes — which near about killed her)  

The entire situation is hilarious. Also the most adorable thing she has ever seen. 

“Why haven’t you guys discussed your birthdays yet?” 

“It’s just never,” Sue muses, “come up, I guess.” 

Austin rollerblades past, swivels to a stop and bends so he’s approximately level with their faces. “Are we talking about,” he says, lowering his voice to a comical whisper, “Emily’s birthday?” 

Lavinia pulls him down, so he’s sitting on the spare chair. “And Sue’s, apparently. Did you know her birthday falls, like, nine days after Emily’s?” 

Austin stares at her, wide-eyed. “That means it’s on the.... 19th? 

Sue nods. 

“The 19th of December? After Emily’s birthday, on the 10th of December?” 

“Y....es?” 

He swipes at his phone, taps a couple of buttons, and then looks up with a smug smile. “I knew I remembered something. Look.” 

Lavinia has to angle her whole body to see, but it registers for both of them at the same time. A certain poet and her muse, who also apparently shared the same birthday as her and Emily. 

“Huh,” Lavinia says. “Maybe there is something to Emily’s theory after all.” 

“You mean Emily’s theory that we’re the reincarnations of those two?” she asks, hearing her own voice get progressively more hysterical by the word. She clears her throat, takes a deep breath, adds it to the list of rapidly growing coincidences in her head that she’s never going to give a closer look to, because that would be crazy. 

“Really the only part of this I’m genuinely shocked by,” Lavinia says after a long pause, in which Sue is struggling to reason with the logical part of her brain, “is that Austin remembers Emily Dickinson’s birthday.” 

Austin smiles proudly, and the thought is so funny that it drives potential insanity out of her mind eventually. 

***** 

“Why didn’t you tell me your birthday’s tomorrow?” 

Emily startles from where she’s staring out the window of the car, and Sue has about a moment to regret blurting it out before they’re looking at each other. She’d spent the entire week setting up the entire thing for Emily and now it probably won’t even be a surprise, but she’s insanely curious. No better time for it, either way. She’d planned everything perfectly, from picking up Emily at the café in the classy car she’d borrowed from Austin, to making sure it wasn’t too late after dinner. And yet, here they were, surrounded by cars and honking people because traffic was a fickle bitch. 

“Is that why we’re taking this trip?” she asks, wide-eyed. 

Sue extends a hand towards her, ruffles up her hair, feeling fond. Trust her idiot girlfriend to not have figured it out yet. She moves her hand to Emily’s cheek, and feels Emily cover it with her own. Feels a soft kiss pressed against her palm. 

“What did you think it was, dumdum?” 

“Well, it is the three month anniversary of—” Sue’s alarm is probably showing on her face, so she backtracks quickly. “Kidding. Kidding. There’s nothing tomorrow.” 

Sue pinches at her cheek. “Except your birthday. Speaking of which—” 

“Eh,” Emily shakes her head, shuffles around on her seat awkwardly, “it’s.... uh, complicated.” 

“Is the complication that you happen to share a birthday with a poet from long ago?” she’s only half-joking.  

Emily laughs at that. “Caught on, did you? Did you also check—” 

“E-yup.” 

“That your birthday is also—” 

“E-yup,” she says. Then turns to look at Emily. “Wait. How do you know when my birthday is?” 

Emily opens her mouth, but before she can say anything Sue hurriedly cuts in. “And you’re not allowed to say you have your ways.” 

Years ago, when Sue was fourteen, one day her dad and her mom came home with the same vegetable. Same quantity. It was beans, and she could vividly remember all three of them staring down in mock dismay at the two separate huge bundles of beans that now took up most of the space on the table. Then they started comparing prices. Turns out her mother’s bundle had cost a couple cents lesser than her father’s. But it’s not the same , her mother had insisted, holding up both the bundles. See, yours weighs more. I think the grocer I bought it from took some off . 

To this day, she defines love as the way her mother’s hand fell over his, combined with the way her dad looked at her next — like a child who had just been told that the blanket fort he’d spent hours constructing, wasn’t going to be torn down. Like someone had just handed a piece of the world to him, and told him to make of it whatever he wanted.  

Sue recognizes it in the way Emily looks at her. Like she’s saying — Of course. Of course, you know me well enough to guess the next stupid thing that comes out of her mouth. 

(She’s not very good at love, but she hopes Emily can read the answer in her eyes just the same) 

“Birthdays are complicated,” Emily says, slowly. “I’ve had some very good ones and then some very bad ones.” First girlfriend who she asked out on her 20th birthday, and second girlfriend who she broke up with a week before her 23rd; Sue fills in the blanks as she talks. “So I guess I try not to tell people so I myself don’t expect anything out of it. Neutral birthdays are better than euphoric ones or sad ones, because at least they don’t haunt me forever.” 

“Baby,” she says, and then trails off. Sometimes she likes calling Emily endearments, or just say her name out loud, randomly, even if there’s no statement attached to it. The sentiment’s always the same, however. I’m glad you exist. I’m glad you found me. I like your name. I love you.  

(Emily’s fallen asleep by the time she’s driven to the top of the grassy knoll, by the time the clock hits midnight. Sue lets her sleep through it. There will be time to sit on top of the blanket and watch a sleepy Emily blow out the candles on a tiny cake that looks like a typewriter, to stare at the stars all night long while they listen to soft, slow songs on a pair of shared earphones. For now, Sue watches Emily sleep, head tilted against the glass and decides to hold off on telling her she loves her until the day after her birthday. It’s a perfectly neutral birthday. No use in spoiling it.) 

(Emily says it back though, in case anyone was wondering) 

***** 

Sometimes, when Sue sees Emily cooking for her, she loses her breath. 

(And sometimes, it’s not even due to the smoke from a burned dish) 

But there’s something peaceful about watching Emily cook, especially if she hasn’t yet cottoned onto the fact that Sue’s watching her. She’s one of those annoying people who always has their headphones on, so most of her cooking in the kitchen involves perfectly timing the beats with the swipes of her spatula. Sometimes she spins around in the middle of a pancake flip to see if she can catch it in midair. Juvenile shenanigans aside, what really gets Sue, even after almost a year of having watched Emily dance around in the kitchen is the care with which she handles food that they will eat. It’s so different to the kind of food she cooks when she’s just cooking for herself. Sue’s seen her slap on two days expired cheese on top of a tortilla and call it lunch. And yet. 

And yet. Sue will have the best of things. Lasagna that’s still steaming. A sandwich filled with the most delicious ingredients. Waffles topped with cream that Emily will get up early in the morning to get for her. Food enhanced with care, made better with love. 

Why don’t you make those nice things for yourself, she’s asked on multiple occasions, to which Emily’s always shrugged. It’s just me. I can have almost anything. 

(Emily deserves the best. Sue will make sure she has it) 

There are flowers on the table, an assortment of daffodils and lilies arranged on a vase. Right in between two shiny plates laid out with napkins folded carefully beside them. Sue slides into one of the chairs quietly, rests her elbows on the table and waits for Emily to finally turn around. 

There is a panicked scream when she does. Sue doesn’t want to be that girlfriend, but this is definitely going on the list of stories she’ll tell their future kids when they’ve grown. 

(Another day she would worry about how the term — Their kids — moves around in her chest comfortably like a sip of hot cocoa. Today, exactly one year to the day Emily told her she liked her, she shrugs it off) 

“You weren’t supposed to wake up for another half an hour at least.” 

Sue hums. “You did tire me out last night, that is true.” 

“Sue!” Emily says, scandalized, face rapidly turning red. “I — that’s highly — okay wait, first things first....” 

She walks over to the table, and bends to kiss Sue.  

“Happy anniversary.” 

Sue closes her eyes, kisses both her cheeks in response. “Happy anniversary, my love.” 

Emily grins back, then stands again. “Either way,” she says, as she ladles soup onto a bowl, and gathers multiple plates on a tray to subsequently bring to the table, “brunch! Courtesy of your beautiful girlfriend who finally managed to figure out how to make the perfect chicken pot pie without burning down the house, or worse, giving you salmonella.” 

Sue inspects what lies in front of her. “Babe, this looks amazing.” 

Emily looks proud, as she sits on the other chair. “And that’s not all, okay? This is just the start. Today evening I have gotten us both tickets to—” 

“Move in with me.” 

When Emily blinks, Sue startles. The words that had just come out of her mouth definitely weren’t well-thought-out, but now she was thinking about it and it seemed like all she ever wanted in life. To go to sleep with Emily, and wake her up in time for her morning classes, to be able to see her all the time, and not have to watch her go. 

“That wasn’t my gift, by the way,” she adds, speaking fast, thinking of the limited-edition original copies of a book she’d driven five hours to the next town to get. “But it’s what I want. Us. Living together. I love you. We should.... uh, live together so — uh, okay Emily make me stop talking please.” 

Emily shuts her up with a kiss. When they separate, she stays close to Sue, looking right into her eyes with that soft, soft expression.  

“Are you sure?” she asks. 

Sue takes in a deep breath. Nods. “Yeah.” 

Emily considers that for a moment. Then says with a teasing smile — “I thought this violated your relationship rules.” 

“What ae you—” 

“No kissing before the second date. No celebrating six-month anniversaries because that’s for dummies. No moving in before at least two years of dating—” 

“And if you remember correctly,” Sue cuts in, smoothly, “I kissed you two days before our first date. And serenaded you with a Taylor Swift song at the café on our six-month anniversary.” 

“You did do that,” Emily says, quietly. 

“And as long as we’re on the subject, I hate staying up past 11, or listening to sad girl music in the car, or watching that horrendous show about those two annoying men fake-dating,” Sue tells her, “but — it is my greatest honor that I get to do that for you. And with you. Emily, if you haven’t figured it out already, you’re kinda the exception to every single one of my rules.” 

Sue reads Emily’s answer in the kiss she receives next. 

***** 

The middle, the middle, everything boils down to the middle. It’s what Sue sometimes hears Emily muttering to herself in the middle of the night when she has an assignment due the next day. Sue will blink, look over to the desk where Emily is planted with her nightlight on, hands in her hair. Sometimes Sue will keep blinking slowly, taking in the sight of Emily typing until she falls asleep. Sometimes Emily will notice that she’s up, walk over to the bed, and hum snippets of songs until she’s drifting off again.  

And for all the beauty of the beginning, of first kisses and first dates and first times, there’s something to be said about the fifteenth time Emily plays her something on the ukulele, warning her beforehand that her voice might crack. Or the sixtieth burger she runs across the campus to hand over to Emily when she knows she’s got back-to-back classes scheduled. About the hundredth time she falls into bed, and scooches over, eyes closed, until Emily’s wriggling body is aligned against hers. There’s peace in knowing that a first time will inevitably lead to a second time, and then countless others.  

(There’s peace in knowing the middle lasts the longest)   

***** 

She knows she’s in trouble. Has known she’s in trouble the minute she came out of the store and discovered that there was a pileup on the highway. And then when Lavinia called her panicking because their house-warming slash house party was getting out of control because of a lack of beer and a general overabundance of Austin. And then when her phone died in the middle of her conversation with Emily.  

(So much trouble) 

She’s exhausted by the time she makes it back to her apartment (their apartment , she corrects herself, smiling at the thought) and makes her way up the stairs, hearing the volume of the music increase with every step. Opens the door and is assailed with extremes — the tiny sparkling mirror ball someone’s managed to hook up to the ceiling, the dancing crowd in their living room, and a very loud and weirdly on-point Austin making guitar noises on the karaoke microphone. 

“Lavinia!” Sue calls out in relief, when she catches sight of her. “Where’s Emily?” 

Lavinia excuses herself from a group of frat boys hanging onto her every word and walks over. “Sue! Emily!” 

“Yeah, I know! Tell me where she is!” 

Sue points towards the ceiling, and in the same smooth motion, grabs the crate of beer from her hands. 

Sue’s out of there before the first cry of “Beer” permeates the air. She climbs another two floors, and then the metallic ladder to find Emily sitting there, wrapped in her blanket, glaring up at her. 

“You promised,” she says, flatly. 

Sue drops onto her knees and takes Emily’s cold hands in hers. “I know.” 

“No, you,” Emily repeats, then pauses, looking like she’s struggling, “you promised you were gonna be here, okay? I agreed to the housewarming thing only because you told me there wouldn’t be many people and you’d stay with me the whole time—” 

“—baby....” 

“No, don’t baby me. Let me finish.” Emily waits until Sue nods. “And then you went off to the store.” 

“We ran out of beer,” Sue says, feeling sheepish. 

“I know — I know that, okay?” Emily says. “I know there’s a reason, and probably a valid one but I’m mad, okay? You promised me something and then bailed. That’s not cool.” 

Sue adjusts so she’s properly sitting down right in front of Emily. “I’m sorry,” she says, and means it. “It was inexcusable.” 

Emily sighs, and seems to relax a little. “Okay. Thank you for saying that.” 

Sue nods. “Some party, huh?” she says, after a while. 

Emily smiles a little, then. “Did you see Austin? He was performing the High School Musical songs when I left.” 

She laughs. “When I came in, I think he was doing the guitar riff to Bohemian Rhapsody.” 

“Hey,” Emily says, after they’re done giggling at that. “I never asked. What took you so long? I thought you just went to get beer.” 

“Uh,” Sue says, “I’d rather not tell you.” 

“What? Why not?” 

“Because I don’t wanna charm my way out of you being mad at me.” 

“Oh,” Emily draws the sound out, teasingly. “It can’t possibly be that charming.” 

If she wanted to play it this way, then okay. 

“I stopped at an animal shelter on the way home. There’s a young cat there I thought we could adopt. Consider her a housewarming present.” 

“Oh,” Emily says, then in an undertone. “Damn it.” 

“Charmed?” 

“Ugh, fuck, okay,” Emily admits, then pulls at their joined hands till Sue gets on top of her lap. “I hate you. I love you, but I hate you.” 

Sue kisses her in return, settles in more comfortably. 

“Tell me about her?” Emily asks, softly, in the quiet. 

“Well, she chased the light reflected off my watch round and round so it’s safe to say she’s not the brightest.” 

“I love her already,” Emily assures her. 

***** 

On her eve of her 25th birthday, Sue walks into her apartment and finds Emily, Lavinia and Austin panicking over how to fit the last half of her last name onto limited space on a handmade banner. She says hi to Juggers and Iguana, their two cats, then picks up their two-month-old puppy Rooney, all before one of the three already present humans in the room realizes she’s there. 

“Sue, I’m so sorry,” Emily says, walking over to her and looking at her with a slightly desperate look in her eyes. “We tried baking cake, but it’s half burnt, but we can’t decide what to get and all we have are balloons but then Austin’s going crazy trying to keep Juggers from bursting them, because guess what? The cat is the devil—” 

“—babe—” 

“—no, I tried to make it a good birthday, I really did!” 

She puts her hands on either side of Emily’s face, which forces her to quiet down. Then she looks over at the others.  

“Have you guys been here the entire time I was taking classes?” 

They nod. 

She feels a little overwhelmed. “Guys, I — thank you so much,” she says, then takes stock of the situation. “Can you order pizza? We’ll ring in my birthday with pizza tonight.” 

Lavinia side-hugs her on their way out to the couch, and then they’re alone in the kitchen. She kisses Emily on the forehead, then on both cheeks, trying to drive away the frown. 

“What?” 

“I just wanted you to have a good birthday,” Emily says, despondent. 

“You’re here, aren’t you?” Sue says. “And so are our friends, who sat and worked this hard for hours trying to make me happy. And we’ll have pizza! We like pizza.” 

“You’re just saying that.” 

“No, you idiot” Sue explains, fondly. “I mean it. We’ll have burned cake, and we’ll fight over the pizza, and even if the animals are outnumbered, we’ll probably lose to them. And then we’ll probably watch a movie, and somehow all fall asleep on the carpet because Austin always claims the whole couch. Either way, it’ll be a good birthday, because I’m happy. And you know why I’m happy?” 

Emily’s still pouting. 

“Emily, why am I happy?” 

“Because we’re together,” Emily completes, in a small voice, and then finally, finally smiles. 

(It’s the messiest birthday Sue has ever had. Also the best) 

***** 

Here’s the thing about endings: everyone who writes stories knows they don’t really exist.  

A famous author once said that they weren’t really the end of the story, just where you chose to stop it. Well, Sue agrees. Which is why this story in her head never ends. The imaginary typewriter in her head will keep typing long after, filling pages with anniversaries and birthdays and emergency dog adoptions. Maybe the next page talks about the day Sue breaks her arm, and Emily proposes to her with an onion ring she gets out of the hospital vending machine. Or the day Lavinia loses Rooney, walks around the entire block with Austin to find him and finally discovers he’s hanging out at the old café they used to work at. 

So. Yes. This is where she decides to leave it. Finish it. There will be more stories to write later.

The end. 

(Wink wink. Nudge nudge.) 

[taeken-my-heart]

Revenant Finale

Summary: You’d always been told that when you died that you’d walk into the light towards Heaven. Only problem is, you died and the light never showed up. Now you’re attached to a handsome but grumpy and sleep deprived medical student and neither one of you knows what to do to get you to finally cross over.

Rating: PG15

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Fluff, angst, Ghost!au, MedicalStudent!Namjoon

Word Count: 6538

Warnings: Mentions of a seizure, though nothing is graphically described.

.

.

The majority of the next two weeks went by mostly uneventfully. You spent the larger part of your time split between watching Namjoon work at the hospital or in class. Sometimes, when your family could spare an hour, you’d spend time with them in your room; listening as they spoke to your comatose body.

Cora was often with your mom when she came to visit, touching everything in your room that interested her before coming back to stand at your bedside. On occasion, she’d stay in daycare and you’d get your mom to yourself. She told you about everything going on in the world and it was a bizarre mixture of comfort and anguish. Things were changing without you while you laid in that bed waiting to wake up. Time truly waited for no one. It was strange to think that one moment you were here and the next you were gone and the majority of the world wouldn’t change even a little because of it.

On this particular morning, your family had yet to come see you. You lounged on the couch across the room from where Namjoon was taking the vitals of your body and watched him work. You felt suddenly sleepy, like a dream was dragging you in and you felt your body clench tight before slumping over on the couch. The noise of the room, a blaring alarm, it all sunk into clouds of nothing.

Opening your eyes, the ceiling of your hospital room quickly came back into focus and you took a deep breath. For the first time in what felt like forever, you could feel something more than just gentle pressure. Your whole body felt like it had been tensed for hours; you were sore and out of breath and you watched zombie like as Namjoon quickly exited the room.

The room was filled with nurses, Dr. Bang standing over your body and you watched as everyone took a collective sigh of relief. What had happened? Why did everything feel so sore and where had Namjoon gone?

There was a tingle that spread through your whole body, similar to when your foot falls asleep and you winced, flexing your fingers as they stung. When the pain had subsided and you’d caught your breath, you stood from the chair to look for Namjoon. As you stepped into the hallway you suddenly found yourself standing in the disabled bathroom. Frowning, you looked down to find Namjoon huddled in the corner, face buried in his folded arms. His shoulders shook and you paused in surprise.

“Are you OK?” You asked softly.

Namjoon jumped, gaze darting up to you. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy and your heart ached for him. You went to sit beside him, wishing more than anything that you could wipe the tears from his face.

“I should be the one asking you that.” He groaned, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand. “I’m so sorry. I just- I don’t know why you’re attached to me, I don’t know how to help you.” His bottom lip quivered as he stared down at his shoes, tucked underneath him on the cold linoleum floor.

“I want so badly to help,” he continued, looking back at you, “I want to be able to make things better, but I don’t know what I’m doing and that…that was terrifying. I thought that I’d lost you.” He reached his hand forward to stroke against your cheek and for a moment you nearly jumped at the contact.

It felt so real, like you were actually sitting in front of him, two normal people, and you could feel everything as though you weren’t somewhere floating between life and death. It was euphoric.

He seemed to be having the same thoughts as he watched, transfixed, as his thumb stroked across your cheek and down towards your mouth. “We, I mean.” He whispered, “I thought we’d lost you.”

“What happened?” You asked and he looked at you in confusion.

“You don’t remember? You were staring right at me.” When you shook your head no, he continued. “You had a seizure. I called a code blue and everything just happened so fast. It looked like both your body and you were having a seizure. It was awful. I was so scared. I really don’t know how I’m supposed to help you.” He repeated.

“It’s ok.” You said softly, leaning into the contact of his hand on your face. You craved the affection, the way his thumb lit nerve endings across your face. It was electric; he was electric. “Just having someone who can see me…someone who knows I’m still around and is willing to fight to get me back. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“I wish I could do more.” He bemoaned and you smiled. “I want to make it all better.”

“You’re going to make such an excellent doctor.” You sighed, reaching up to grab his hand. “I’m glad you’re taking care of me; I couldn’t ask for anyone better.”

Namjoon flushed, dropping his hand into his lap but you kept your fingers tangled with his, squeezing gently. You wondered if he could feel you as strongly as you could feel him. “Not even Hoseok?” He teased.

You could see the apprehension in his gaze as he asked it and you grinned, shaking your head. “Nope, not even Hoseok. Only you.”

You reached out to wipe the tears from his face, watching in amazement as they disappeared with the swipe of your fingers. You wondered what was going on with your body right now; why you were suddenly so present.

Standing, you motioned for Namjoon to stand up as well. He stood, going to splash some water on his face before grabbing a paper towel to dry off. “Let’s get you back to work.” You hummed, moving towards the door. “Somehow, things will all work out. Don’t you think?”

He moved towards you, staring down into your face, eyes still slightly red but dimples on display as he smiled. “They better.”

.

.

Around three in the afternoon, your family came. Cora was dressed in the cute yellow dress you remembered agonizing over. It was too expensive but you wanted her to have something that made her feel like a princess. In the end, your mom had paid for it and then it had taken 3 days to convince Cora to take it off after trying it on so you could wash it.

“We rushed over as soon as we were able.” Your mom said and you watched as her eyes filled with tears, “she had a seizure? What happened?”

“We’re not really sure at this point in time,” Dr. Bang started, “it’s not typical for someone to have a seizure this far along into their recovery. We’re doing more tests to make sure everything is functioning properly; with special attention to her brain. So far, though, she seems to have actually improved. Every test we’ve run has come back very positive. It’s extremely encouraging.”

Your mother flopped in the chair beside your bed, relief washing over her features and you watched as your brother Luke went to go squeeze her shoulder. Your dad and Ethan both stood with Dr. Bang as he gave more information, but your attention was captured by Cora as she attempted to climb on your bed.

You grinned as your mother fussed over her, pulling her back into her lap while Cora pouted. Normally, your daughter was fairly fussy with what she wanted. It seemed like you being here in this bed had subdued her somehow. You missed your feisty girl.

They spent the afternoon fussing over your hair, straightening your bedding and putting new, fluffed pillows under your head. You smiled at the attention, their love warming you from the inside out.

You couldn’t wait to give them all hugs again.

.

.

The apartment was quiet once more. Namjoon flipped on the lights in the hallway, illuminating it in low florescence as he slowly removed his shoes. He was weary this evening, you could almost see his thoughts racing through his mind as he leaned against the wall, kicking his final shoe into the shoe bin by the door.

He stood, sluggish, and moved towards the living room to sit on the couch. “I guess I broke a cardinal rule today.” He sighed. You came to sit beside him, brows furrowed in your confusion.

“What rules?”

“The unwritten one that says to not get too attached to your patients.” He looked over at you with a sad smile. You felt your chest clench but you weren’t sure if it was good or bad. Admitting to being attached sounded nice…but he said it like it was a bad thing. “I thought we were gonna lose you today and I felt like I was losing a piece of myself with you.” He admitted.

“Is that a bad thing?” You asked carefully.

His head dropped onto the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “I guess it depends on how you choose to see it. It’s got its good and its bad. I can’t fall apart every time I lose someone as a doctor, and it’s bound to happen. I know it sounds callous to people on the outside, but you have to separate yourself from the tragedy somehow or it will chew you up and spit you out.”

“You haven’t lost me, though.” You pointed out softly and his answering smile was grim.

“But have I ever really had you?” You couldn’t say anything to that because the truth is, you didn’t really know the answer. “At first, we thought you were dead. Then we find out you’re actually in a coma, which could be good or bad depending on if you wake up. If you do wake up, will you even remember me? All this? We’re banking on a whole lot of what ifs.”

You paused, rubbing your lips together before finally releasing your thoughts. “You sound as though you’re thinking of something more beyond me just waking up and being with my family again.”

He looked over at you, eyes scanning the planes of your face before speaking. “Did I read things wrong?” He whispered. “I thought there was potential for something more…between us. I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “No, you didn’t read it wrong.” You leaned your head against his shoulder, burrowing into his neck. You could smell his cologne, sharp and woodsy and you inhaled deeply. “But what about Eunae?”

Your head rose as he shrugged. “What about her?”

“Haven’t you been wanting to take her out? I mean, let’s be honest, I’m half way between alive and dead. I’m not exactly a catch right now. Even if I wake up…I have a daughter. Eunae doesn’t have baggage like me.”

Namjoon scoffed. “Everyone has baggage, Y/N. You wanna know my baggage? The real reason I haven’t asked Eunae out, I mean.”

You sat up fully, angling your body to face him and you nodded. “Lay it on me.”

He smiled before sighing. “Because I’m scared,” he said. “Not of Eunae or commitment but I’m scared of being left behind. My mom left my family when I was 7. Got home from school one day and all her stuff was just…gone. No note, no explanation. My mom was the happiest person in the world; if she was suffering in any way, you’d never know. I guess that’s what made it so easy for her to leave and have everyone reeling.”

“I’m so afraid that I could give my entire world to someone, like my dad did, and they could just take it all away from me. You build a beautiful life with someone, get married, have children, and then suddenly they’re just…gone. So, there you go. I’ve got mommy issues.” He laughed; short and humorless, twisting the ring on his finger in circles.

It would be a lie if you said you weren’t surprised, because you certainly were. Namjoon seemed so put together, like he had no problems in the world. It was a good reminder to not judge a book by its cover because you just never knew what was under the surface.

“I’ve got ex-boyfriend issues.” You finally said with a grin and he smiled. “It’s like you said, we’ve all got our baggage. Let’s not worry about things right now, we’ll face things as they come. First, though, I need to wake up.”

Namjoon chuckled, nodding. “Aren’t you hungry, by the way?” You asked and he looked down at his watch.

“Yeah, actually. I’m gonna order some take out. I’m feeling pizza.”

“If you put pineapples on it, I’ll judge you.”

Namjoon grimaced. “I’m not a monster."

.

.

Namjoon yawned loudly, stretched across the couch lethargically. Jin and Jimin had arrived shortly before the pizza and they’d brought company with them. Taehyung and Jungkook were as good looking as you remembered, Taehyung stretched like a cat across the carpet while Jungkook nursed his lukewarm beer.

It had been hours since the hospital; since the scare of the morning, and being with this group, though most didn’t know you were even there, made you feel like you’d been missing something all your life. Because of Tim (your ex,) you’d become rather isolated friend wise. There were a few work acquaintances and a couple friendly regulars at the bar, but it wasn’t the same as having a solid group of people to call your own.

You’d given up a lot of yourself to be with Tim and then in turn to be a mother. You wondered if being a part of a group like this was still attainable. Between work and spending time with Cora, having friends just seemed like an impossible dream. The first thing you needed to do when you woke up was to find a new job. You couldn’t keep going on acting like these sort of relationships weren’t important.

Namjoon yawned again, standing and stretching. “I gotta get to bed. I’ve got clinicals again tomorrow and I’m barely functioning as is.”

“Night!” Taehyung called from the floor, eyes blinking slowly up at him, looking more cat like and regal than before. Namjoon said his goodnights before looking over at you and inclining his head slightly towards the hallway. You moved from your spot in the living room and followed him down the hall towards his room. He shut the door after the two of you, clearing his throat and you watched him curiously.

“I was wondering,” He idled, scratching the back of his neck. “Would it be weird if I asked you to stay with me…in here? I know you don’t sleep right now but, it would make me feel better to have you closer. No pressure, of course! I was just wondering.”

His words tapered off in his embarrassment and you smiled. “Which side?” You asked.

He grinned, pointing to the right and you moved towards the mattress, sitting down and patting his side of the bed. “Come on then.” You hummed. He chuckled, cheeks pinker than before.

“I need to change and brush my teeth.”

“I’ll be here.” You nodded, moving to lay down against the bed.

He returned not long after, dressed in pajamas and smelling minty. He grabbed the covers that had been squished down towards the end of the mattress and pulled them up and over your shoulders. Burying himself the same, he stared over at you and you watched him pull the blankets to his chin.

“Thanks for humoring me.” He muttered softly.

“I’m not humoring you; I want to. It’s nice to be here with you, to feel normal again.”

He scooted a little closer, reaching his hand out carefully to touch your arm. You could feel it as though your body was really here, lying with him in this bed. So real, so intense.

“It’s like you’re really here.” He whispered, running the tips of his fingers gently down your arm and watching the goosebumps left in his wake. “Not in that hospital bed.” You shivered.

“Yeah.”

He tucked his chin into his chest, clearing his throat once again. “Uh…I like to cuddle at night, is…is that ok?”

You chuckled, nodding and his hand slid carefully around your waist, pulling you closer. You could feel the warmth of his chest through your fingertips and you tried not to let your emotions show.

“Goodnight.” You whispered.

His fingers dancing across your spine was his reply as he closed his eyes, drifting quickly to sleep.

.

.

It was still dark when the bird’s started chirping; happy and bright like they knew the sunrise was on its way. Namjoon’s alarm hadn’t gone yet, but his body had woken as though on instinct. His bed felt empty, the room absent as well and he sat up suddenly.

“Y/N?” He called, stepping from his bed and into his slippers. There was no reply and he opened the door to his room, moving down the hallway and into the living room. The empty beer bottles and pizza boxes from last night were still laying on the coffee table, but otherwise, the room was deserted.

Namjoon’s heart lurched uncomfortably in his chest. “Y/N?” He whispered. Still no answer.

Where were you? You’d been practically attached to his hip the last few weeks, but where were you now? What if you had died during the night? He hadn’t prepared himself for a situation like that and he felt suddenly nauseous. Rushing back to his room, he quickly showered before dressing and running from the apartment. He was in such a hurry he nearly left his bag.

The subway was even emptier this time of morning. He’d left earlier than normal, but fear was controlling his limbs right now and he could hardly sit still; knee bouncing loudly in the empty carriage.

What if he got there and you’d died? Been moved to the morgue? Bile rose in his throat and he closed his eyes, willing the thought away. He couldn’t handle this right now, he’d deal with it later if it came to it. Maybe you were just attached to your body in the hospital room now. Stranger things had happened, right? Seeing ghosts in the first place definitely fit that bill.

When the subway arrived at his station, he rushed from the train and up the stairs out into the morning. Birds were chirping louder now as the sun was starting to rise. Namjoon didn’t even stop to drop his things off in his locker, he walked as quickly as was acceptable to the room he knew was yours.

Rounding the corner, his body sagged with relief to see your body still laying in the bed. He moved closer slowly, watching your chest rise and fall and he thought he’d throw up all over again from the emotions rushing through him. Still, he didn’t see your ghost standing anywhere around and he ached to know what had happened; where you had gone. He moved closer still, standing over your bed and reaching out carefully to run his hand over your forehead.

His heart nearly dropped as your eyes fluttered open, darting around the room before settling on him. You smiled and he felt like his whole body was melting into the floor.

“You’re here.” You whispered.

“You remember?” He asked, eyes stinging.

You nodded. “Everything.”

Namjoon choked back a sob, the stinging behind his eyes leaving tracks down his cheeks as he bent forward, hugging you close. “I thought you’d died.”

“I’m sorry I scared you,” you said, running your fingers through his dark hair. His tears wet through to the skin of your shoulder. “I felt a tug, though, the sort you can’t ignore, and then I was back here in my body. I knew you’d come.”

He pulled back to look at you, smiling and you pulled his face down towards yours, kissing him softly. “Thank you for helping me.” You whispered against his mouth and he kissed you again before pulling away.

“I didn’t do anything.” He huffed, but you shook your head to dispute.

“You saw me. You have no idea how much I wanted to be seen.”

You hoped he knew what you really meant.

You had the feeling he did.

“Thank you for not hating me after I was so rude to you at first.” He smiled shyly.

You chuckled, running your fingers down his cheek. “Well, I was a trespassing ghost.” Namjoon’s stomach growled loudly and you looked down before back up at him. “Have you eaten?”

He flushed, shaking his head no. “I was so worried you’d died; I couldn’t think of anything else.”

You glanced up at the clock and then back at him. “There’s still an hour before your clinicals start. Go now and get some breakfast from the cafeteria.” He looked like he meant to refuse you and you smiled, kissing him once more. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He grumbled but stood, shaking his hair through with his fingers and nodded. “I’ll ask the doctor if I can call your family with the news. I really want to be the one to do it.”

“I want that too.” You grinned.

.

.

Once the sun had fully risen and you’d been fed, Dr. Bang entered the room, smiling bright. “We sure are happy to see you awake. You gave us a scare the other morning.”

You sent Namjoon a private smile before answering, “Yes, I heard thanks to Mr. Kim.”

“Namjoon will make an excellent Doctor someday.” Dr. Bang smiled, “you’ve been in very good hands.”

The next few minutes you spent with Dr. Bang as he explained your progress to you so far and Namjoon stepped out of the room to call your family. They still weren’t sure why you’d had a seizure and you wondered absently if somehow it had woken you up, but thankfully all scans and bloodwork had come back normal since then.

Both Namjoon and Dr. Bang had to return to work, with promises to return when your family came. Suddenly, you were left to your own thoughts. You’d been in a coma for just over a month so you really hadn’t missed much of the world, especially since your spirit or ghost or whatever you had been, had been wandering around seeing and hearing things.

Mostly, you’d missed out on time with your family. Your daughter. You couldn’t wait to hold her in your arms. You wondered if you’d have to testify at Tim’s trial. Most likely. You were alive and well, but he had intended anything but and you needed to make sure he never had the opportunity again.

When your family finally arrived, Namjoon stayed close by your side, explaining to them what had been going on with your care as you cuddled Cora in your arms. She talked happily about her upcoming show-and-tell at daycare and you discussed all the things she thought maybe she could take with her.

Your brother Ethan owned a snake that your daughter was a little bit obsessed with and you were mildly afraid he’d actually let her take it with her to show off. Ethan and Luke were both “cool” uncles, giving Cora anything she wanted and sometimes you questioned their motivations. You had the feeling they were both vying for the position of favorite uncle.

Come lunch time, after your family had left and you’d eaten, you laid back in your bed, staring out the window as a bird soared passed and landed on the branch of a nearby tree.

“How are you feeling?”

You turned to see Namjoon standing by the door and you smiled. “Good. Tired, but really good.”

“Do you have enough energy to see one more guest?” He asked, and you frowned. Another guest? But who?

He motioned for someone to come in and you smiled brightly as a familiar handsome man in a leather jacket entered. “Jimin!”

Jimin laughed, scratching at the back of his neck. “This is weird,” he admitted with a grin. “I know we technically met but, you know.” He shrugged and you laughed.

“But you couldn’t see me. Well now you can; how’s it feel?”

“Surreal.” He admitted, walking to the side of your bed. “You said my name with so much confidence and I’ve never seen your face before. It’s like meeting someone you’ve met before and forgetting their name. I’m a little embarrassed.” “I’m truly offended.” You nodded resolutely and he grinned, taking the seat beside your bed.

“What are you going to do now? Back in the world of the living, everyone can see you. It must feel like a new lease on life.”

You smiled, twisting the sheets over your lap between your fingers. “I’m gonna find a new job. I’ve got two right now that make me feel like I have barely anytime to breathe, let alone feel human again. I want a change of pace.”

“They’re hiring receptionists here, you know.” Namjoon said suddenly. “Not yet, I mean, but I know a few of the current receptionists are going back to school and planning on putting in their two weeks. Maybe I could put in a good word. Hours are decent and pay is good.

” “Thank you, Namjoon. I’d appreciate that.”

.

.

~ 1 year later ~

“I don’t want to wear pants!” Cora complained loudly and you sighed, rubbing your eyes.

“Honey, I told you before, we’re moving boxes today; a dress just isn’t practical.”

Cora stomped across the room, sitting down on the couch between boxes. She was wearing the frilly pink dress you’d bought for her just last week and looking like a little pouting princess. Goodness, if she weren’t your kid…

“I hate pacticyool.” She frowned and you chuckled, moving to stoop in front of her.

“It’s practical, and that just means that it will be hard to do things in your beautiful new dress. We’re gonna be getting dirty. Do you really want your beautiful princess dress to be covered in dirt and maybe even get ripped?”

Cora huffed, kicking her feet forward slightly in a miniature tantrum before letting her folded arms fall to her sides. “I don’t want it to get broken.” She admitted and you stood, reaching out your hand for her.

“Then let’s change quickly. Namjoon and Jimin will be here soon.”

“What about uncle Taehyungie? He promised to bring me a ring when he got back.”

You smiled, hoisting her to her feet and helping her maneuver through the boxes back to her nearly empty room. One box left open with a small t-shirt and some jeans on top, you helped her to unzip the back of her dress.

“Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jin will be waiting at our new apartment for us. I’m sure they’re all really excited to see you!”

This cheered her up and she quickly helped you to drag her t-shirt over her head, insisting she could do it herself like the independent little stinker she was. After getting her into a pair of socks and taping the last box with her pink dress safely inside, you stared out back over the tiny, dingy little apartment one more time.

It was a piece of crap, honestly, but it had been your piece of crap since Cora was only a baby. You’d had a lot of really amazing memories here and a couple of not so amazing memories too. It was bitter sweet to say goodbye.

A knock at the door roused your attention and you went to open, beckoning both Namjoon and Jimin inside excitedly. “Good morning!” You cried as you shut the door behind you. “Did you bring your muscles?”

“And then some.” Jimin flirted, wiggling his eyebrows at you and you laughed. Namjoon smacked his shoulder, going to reach for your waist before pausing.

Cora had come back into the living room just then, curly, red haired ragdoll clamped in her little arms and she beamed widely as she saw the two new additions to your party. She didn’t know about Namjoon and you yet, you’d been afraid to introduce her to someone that might not be a more permanent fixture in your life until you were positive.

Now…well, the small rock on your finger made you feel safe, but with “uncle” Jimin in the room, now was not the time to tell her. “Namjoon! Uncle Jimin!” She shouted happily, bouncing towards them and into their arms.

Your heart soared as she clung tightly to Namjoon’s neck and he rubbed his hand up and down her back. You couldn’t have asked for a better man to raise your daughter with you. Couldn’t believe he was so willing to step up to the plate.

You ushered everyone to start grabbing things before you got misty eyed and the four of you spent the next ten minutes moving boxes into the moving truck. Namjoon and the guys had helped last night too, after Cora had gone to sleep, so there wasn’t much to move now, but you’d insisted on leaving a few of the light one’s so she could feel like a “big girl helper.”

After everything was packed up, the four of you squished into the cab of the moving truck and started the journey to the other side of the town, closer to your new job. Namjoon had kept his word and had helped you to get a job at the hospital.

Your first paycheck had nearly made your eyes bug out of your skull and you’d definitely cried as your skimpy looking bank account had sagged with its weight.

 You were by no mean’s rich, but you felt like you were these days.

.

.

The apartment complex was newer construction. White stucco and tree lined streets greeted you as you arrived. Namjoon had gone apartment hunting with you at your insistence. Once you told Cora about the two of you (and mitigated any potential problems or confusion,) you intended for him to move in with the two of you. You wanted him to like the place.

Jin had groaned about finding a new roommate, complained loudly about the hassle and Jimin had rolled his eyes, whispering that they’d actually already gotten someone; Seokjin was just a drama lover and wanted a rise. He’d been disappointed not to get one, but you’d just laughed.

Cora was overjoyed to see Taehyung as you pulled up along the curb, practically leaping into his arms once he’d unbuckled her. You followed after her, Jungkook holding out a hand for you to take as you stepped down and you thanked him.

Taehyung let the rest of you grab a box while he carried Cora up to the 16th floor (on the elevator, of course. He wasn’t a martyr.) Jin complained about Tae being a slacker and you grinned, sliding the key into your door, pushing it open and stepping inside.

“Wow, nice digs!” Jungkook complimented, walking into the open floor plan main room, across the linoleum floors and to the window. “You’ve got a balcony?” He cried suddenly, twisting the lock. “What luxury is this?”

You laughed, placing your box on the kitchen counter and moving to stand on the balcony with him. “Nice right? Not much of a view, really, but it’s not a brick wall either, so we’re really moving up in the world.”

Namjoon laughed from behind you, hugging you around the waist and you glanced over your shoulder to see Cora occupied with Taehyung at the countertop. She was opening a small sparkly purple box that you assumed was her new ring and you grinned before cuddling further into Namjoon’s chest.

“We don’t have balconies in student housing.” Jungkook complained.

“Someday, man.” Namjoon said, standing and patting him on the shoulder.

“Mommy!” Cora squealed and you could hear her bare feet slapping across the linoleum as she ran to you. You turned and bent down to look as she held her fist in the air. “I’ve got a ring like you now!”

You smiled, staring down at the giant pink ring, lopsided on her finger from being slightly too big. “So you do!” you cried happily as she jumped around, thrusting her fist in everyone’s face for them to have a look.

After an appropriate amount of time spent praising Cora’s new ring, you all returned to the truck to grab more boxes. After 10 minutes, Cora began to complain about being tired so Taehyung took her back up to the apartment to keep her occupied while the rest of you finished the job.

You ordered takeout that would hopefully arrive right around when you were finished in the truck and spent the next 20 minutes daydreaming about cream cheese filled rangoons. You were famished by the time the food had arrived (and thrilled into a small victory dance due to a working doorbell.)

Everyone sat down on the living room floor, Cora with a pillow underneath her, and you all chatted late into the afternoon. Early evening came and everyone said their goodbyes, only Namjoon staying for dinner.

You made spaghetti, Cora’s favorite, and Namjoon helped her to find the box full of her stuffed animals. You’d all managed to set up the large furniture before the others had, had to leave, so at least there were beds and seating. You’d spend most of your day off tomorrow unpacking while Cora was at her grandparent’s house.

“Dinner’s ready!” You called, setting plates and forks down on the table. “Cora, baby, do you want juice or water?”

“Water, please.” She requested, crawling up into the dining chair and grabbing her fork. She dug in messily and you watched as she slurped spaghetti messily up and over her chin. Oh well, she was getting a bath anyway.

After grabbing waters, you sat in your own seat, smiling over at Namjoon as he waited for you to eat. You took a bite of your food, staring down at your daughter as she waved her head back and forth over her plate, staring down at the noodle hanging from her mouth and wiggling like a worm.

“Cora, honey.” She looked up at you, eyes wide as though you would scold her and she slurped the noodle noisily into her mouth.

“Yes?” She questioned softly.

You looked over at Namjoon before continuing. Now was as good a time as any, you supposed. “What would you think if Namjoon came to live with us too?”

“Oh.” She said, looking over at him, taking in his features pensively. “That would be cool. He doesn’t have a bedroom, though. Where will he sleep mommy?”

“Well,” you started, but she interrupted quickly, ideas sprouting quickly in her little mind.

“We’ve got a couch!” She supplied, “Or, mommy says we have sleeping bags too.”

You chuckled, continuing on carefully. “Actually, mommy and Namjoon were thinking about getting married. What do you think about that? Would that be nice?”

“Married?” She mumbled, testing the word in her mouth. “Is that when mommy’s get babies?”

Namjoon choked on his sip of water and you giggled nervously. “Well, sometimes honey.”

“Mommy said she can only get a baby if there’s a daddy.” Cora replied matter of fact. “You can be a daddy, right?”

Namjoon patted at his mouth and the dribble of water in front of him on the table with his napkin before continuing. “Yes, someday I would like to be a daddy.”

Cora shrugged, going back to her spaghetti. “I think it sounds fun.” She replied, slurping another noodle into her mouth. “My daddy had to go somewhere right now, but maybe you can be my new daddy. Will you give me a sister? I really want a sister.”

Namjoon grinned over at you and then back at her. “I’ll definitely try my best to give you a sister.”

He chuckled as you smacked at his arm but Cora continued on. “When will you get married? I would like to have a sister soon, please.”

You reached across the table to pat at her mouth with your napkin. “Well, we haven’t decided when exactly we’ll get married, but soon. Maybe next year.”

“That’s forever away!” Cora complained. She turned to look at Namjoon. “Will you move in tonight?”

He smiled, rubbing at the back of her head. “Not tonight, but really soon. I don’t have any of my things to move in yet. Are you happy that mommy and I want to get married?”

Cora nodded, grabbing a fork way too full of noodles and attempting to shove them all in her mouth at the same time. “I think it’s cool.” She slurred sloppily around her mouthful. To un-trained ears, it sounded like a whole lot of noise and nothing else, but thankfully you were accustomed to her speech patterns.

You grimaced. “Babe, finish your mouthful before speaking, please.”

.

.

After Cora was tucked into bed and had finally fallen asleep, both Namjoon and you turned the TV on low and sat back on the couch. “Thank you for cleaning up.” You said softly and he smiled, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and kissing you softly.

“Happy to help.” He whispered back. “So, Cora seems happy.”

“Yeah,” you smiled, leaning your head back against his shoulder. “I’m glad. I was afraid…not that I had any reason to be; she loves you. Still, I want my two favorite people to get along.”

Namjoon reached for your hand, fiddling with the ring on your finger absentmindedly. “I’ll admit I was nervous too. Didn’t know what I would have done if she’d been upset. Turns out, all she was really concerned about was getting a baby sister.”

“Which you promised her.” You chuckled and he grinned, shrugging.

“I’ll at least enjoy trying to fulfill that promise.” He grinned wolfishly and you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Well, actually, about that…” you trailed off, reaching for your purse and pulling something from it to hand to him.

He gaped down at the pregnancy test in his hands, mouth flapping uselessly as he grappled for words. “Really?” He asked, looking up at you with wide eyes.

“Really.” You nodded as he looked back down at the pregnancy test. “I took it last night…so, did you have fun trying?” You teased.

He laughed, looking down at you as his eyes darkened. “I did. Hey, you in the mood to roleplay?” He mused.

“What did you have in mind?” You grinned as he tucked his face into your neck, kissing along the edge of your jaw.

“How about some good old fashioned baby making?” He teased and you grinned.

You pulled his head up to hover over yours, staring into his eyes. “Are you OK with this? It wasn’t planned, but are you happy?”

His features softened, smile settling into a gentle simmer. “I couldn’t be happier.” He murmured, kissing you deeply.

You hummed against his mouth, wrapping your legs around his waist. “Take me to the bedroom, Mr. Kim.”

“With pleasure.” He grinned.

.

.

Thank you so much for going on this journey with me and being so patient! I decided to combine the last two chapters together. I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think! <3

Copyright © 2019 by Taeken-My-Heart. All rights reserved.

[kaepopsicle]

一𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓

〄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐃𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 *𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠* 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐎 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 <𝟑𝟑𝟑

𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐜 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝟓 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐙𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐬/𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬....

i won’t make this all sappy,,, just kidding I will. so I know this year has been tough. for everyone. but I’m so proud of you for making it this long! it’s over! of course the pain doesn’t stop just bc the year is over,, but you know now that you can get through it !! I’m happy you’re still here :) — I feel like us as human beings have grown so much (I know me personally) have definitely grown and found myself more,, realized what I love, stand for, support. I hope you all have too!! I met some amazing people in this app, not even going to lie these lovelies have made me feel so much more complete. and I’m blessed to have met them...

一@sarahbkwl ♥︎

im 100% going to cry,, Sarah bear.. I can’t even describe how much you mean to me, right off the bat we just connected, the compliment battles, the random memes, the group chat name changes, you just understood me, which is rare bc I never felt understood in my life, I always felt like the awkward weird kid. I had friends I guess but I don’t think they were actually my friends, but you. you’re my true friend. someone I know I’m going to be friends with for a long time. I can’t wait to be able to see you!! You just make life a little bit easier to live, your adorable smile and your contagious laugh; I can’t help but giggle when you send your cute random pictures;; not to mention you’re absolutely gorgeous !! like literally you’re so hot okay. jfc. ten needs to come wife you up before I do ;) anyway I know the past couple weeks have been hard for you, but I’m so proud of you 🥺 you’re so strong. Now this is way too long so Gerald ... peace ✌️

一@rr0zu ☾

my moon !!! you are probably the most intelligent and strong woman i have ever met, you have been through so much stress this year but you made it, bc I knew you would; you’re practically glowing my love. you’re not only beautiful on the outside but on the inside, your need to obtain justice for the less fortunate is just amazing,, we need more people like you ,, you already know how I feel, I looked outside the other day ; and the moon was out, it was the only thing shining in the night sky. which is how you are in others lives, you just shine and light them up, making everyone’s day. 🥺 this will get way too long if I don’t stop but I just love you so much

一@babyyangx2-again ❦

*sobs* my paper clip, omg remember when we first met? I was your 🌻anon ?? and I kept flirting with you bc I’m literally Johnny, anyway your writing is literally the best, you’re literally the best, you’re my bestie 🥺 I’m so lucky to have met you, you just make me so happy and laugh so hard, we’re so chaotic but so perfect for each other; I know I’m a little forgetful and clingy but I love you ,, you know I do; you’re so kind, even though you think you’re not ; you are babe. you do little things for people , you care so much about making others happy, and that right there is an absolutely amazing trait. you’re that euphoric breeze, we you step outside, the beautiful trees blowing; the gorgeous smell of the flowers, just that happy feeling, that’s what you make me feel like.

一@starrdustville ♡︎

my flower !!!!!!!!!! Ishdjskdk my gorgeous flower, the one flower that I would pick in the field bc it was the prettiest, I would keep it as a dry flower and leave it in my favorite poetry book. so that when i read it, I’ll always think of you, you make me so happy with your smile, and your giggle is the cutest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. you just know the right things to say,, you make the stormy nights part ways for the stars

一@himitsu-luna ❤︎

my sister!! you know I always wanted an older sister.. I always wanted someone to look up to and talk to about anything; someone I can fan girl with and talk about anything with, and you my love are that person. 🥺 you’re so sweet and soft, you have the most gentle of soul and artistic of eye, makes me feel so proud and happy to have the privilege of calling you my friend

一@tinystupidwitch ❣︎

YES MY HENDERY STAN FRIEND!!! you’re so strong bubs... you know that? I know your work is hard, you get little sleep, but the fact you have the ability to text me and make me laugh and feel all happy 🥺 I appreciate you more than words can describe,,

一@bbyyangiex2 シ

my little sister :( we may be the most absolute different human beings ,, but some how we make it work, you’re so adorably cute,, and I know you’re like “nO iM nOt ,,, NO YOU” SHUSH LET ME SAY THIS!! you’re so cute and so pretty! and you’re so smart and amazing and such a beautiful young cutie... you make me feel so proud watching you grow up 😭😭 I just love you so much okay

一@hangsxng ☺︎︎

MEIN DEUTSCH LIEBE !!! Huiieifhekdk I love you so much omg, like; your accent, your laugh, your eyes, you’re so beautiful and so unique and so just absolutely erstaunlich!!! I know we haven’t talked a ton recently buttttt you’re still always on my mind! ich habe mein Deutsch dafür geübt,,,, ich liebe dich so sehr, meine liebe <3 vergiss nie, wie erstaunlich du bist 😭

一@liudejuns ♔

ugh, mimi; you know you have the ability to make someone’s day the brightest? even after a horrible day seeing you text me and post I just get so happy, you’re so beautiful inside and out and I hope you know how Important you and how much you really deserve

一@johns-marshmallow ఌ

ANNIKAN SKYWALKER!!! Aka Johnika ,,, tehehehe I love you so much ,, that’s it.

haha just kidding ! you’re such a joy in people’s lives, you’re so funny, and you radiate main character energy!! Ksjsksk i know you have been feeling down and stressed but just know you’re so strong, you’re so brave, and you’re so intelligent! anything you do will be amazing, anything you choose will be terrific why? Bc you’re Annika! you’re just the star in the sky, and anyone would be lucky to call you their friend

to my beautiful moots — thank you guys for being there for me, I would love to get to know you all so much better ,, you guys are literally the sweetest and deserve the whole world! thank you thank you thank you! I hope your 2020 will be filled with so much happiness and love !!

@hanadolphieron @sush-iii @danishmiilk @henderyprince @yutaaaaaa @joh--pping @gowonhatesyou @calypsohan @dyongvr @kpopsnowball @peachyhan @btsastro @coffeevddict @xeniya @neochan @junguwuta @heartyyjeno @strwberryneo @imjustuhhvibing @fairvtale @doyounged @du0tine @mignonmark @cyecandy @neoangsthours @orange-nimon-cross @rueyins @jaeminsb1tch @thatkpopmeme @kuniverse11 @svchengss

to my followers !! Thank you so much for supporting me! You guys mean a lot more to me than words can describe ! Im so graceful that you guys like my writing and for enjoying my blog! it makes me so happy 😭

〄

to myself —

hi kaela nichole :)

stop worrying so much about what others think! you’re a good person! stop letting things your birth family said change your opinion of yourself! stop making scenarios in your head of men that will not ! like ! you ! you are cute af you can find plenty of guys (like the four you’re thinking of in your head rn that like you... I know you don’t like any of them bUT LIKE put yourself out thereeeeee) anyway you’re amazing! also stop freaking out about vet school and your future! life will take you to wherever it does, leave faith up to the universe my love.. please.. stop being so hard on yourself, you’re trying your hardest. and that’s all you can do kae :) <3

— from yourself (love you bitch)

一may your New Years be filled with positive vibes! smiles, laughter, and good health!! <33

[dramaticsnakes]

The Revived - Chapter 13: An Interview

This is chapter 13 of the Dream SMP multichapter fic @rainbowbutterfrosting​ and I wrote together! I hope you’ll enjoy!

AO3

Read in order (on Tumblr)

Characters in this chapter: Wilbur, Ghostbur, Tubbo

Word count: 3436

Cw: stress, crying, discussions of limbo, lying, tension between characters

Fic summary: Wilbur was alive, and it was such a magnificent feeling, that made his mind spark with anticipation. It didn’t take long, however, for Wilbur to realize that this new breath of life, was not just his own. An echo-y voice hides in the back of his mind, and before he knows it, the transparent version of him he saw at the endless train station, is a lot more ingrained than he’d expected him to be.

And Wilbur really shouldn’t care. Because he’d be damned, if he spent the life he’d awaited for so long, babysitting a lost cause of a ghost, stuck in the very same limbo Wilbur spent so long in. It was an even exchange, and one Wilbur wasn’t going to mess with. Why exactly he ends up setting out to get the ghost out of his mind, in order to save the both of them, however, is beyond him. And perhaps Wilbur’s past isn’t as easy to leave behind, as he’d hoped it would be.

The walk to the portal seemed longer than normal, perhaps due to the wails in the back of his mind. Every now and then they would quiet down, only for them to get worse again. He sighed quietly, “‘m going to Pogtopia.” 

Ghostbur tried to compose himself with little luck. Still, through his cries, he said, “Going where?” The words shook like a leaf in the wind but remained understandable. 

“Tubbo.” Although the words weren’t sharp, the meaning of them felt like it. He would’ve apologized, but he frankly didn’t have the energy to care.

Ghostbur sniffled, “Anything bad gonna happen?”

Wilbur shook his head before realizing Ghostbur couldn’t hear him, “Nope.” He barely thought of the response as he stepped onto the path made out of oak slabs.

The walk was quiet. Ghostbur seemed calmer with the promise of Tubbo, and Wilbur wasn’t in a chatty mood. The sound of footsteps filled his walk there.

The road to Pogtopia was ingrained in Wilbur’s muscle memory. While memories were muddled, the times he hid underground planning to take back L’Manberg seemed to remain stuck there. The buttons, calmly lining the walls more and more each day. The way they had appeared to taunt him, every single time he had a look.

It didn’t take long for Wilbur to make it there. The entrance to the ruins wasn’t too obvious to find, but Wilbur vaguely remembered that most people knew about it by now. As he entered and looked at the walls, he felt as if he’d wandered into an old movie that scared you as a child. Something from a past life. The ceiling that went up high, but still wasn’t enough. The remains of glory, and the times he’d wanted to shout at nothing until he finally told himself that it was fine. Wilbur was a genius and a powerful commander, and he wasn’t going to let everything get whisked away. He would get it all back, or no one else would have it.

His L’Manberg waiting for Wilbur to decide its final fate, despite the protests of its remaining people.

Now, Wilbur looked at the dusty paths that looked almost unused now, safe for a few visible footsteps, as if the place was used as nothing but a place to merely pass through once a month. The buttons that every inch of Wilbur’s fingers were tempted to touch, just to feel the way they clicked under his command. He breathed the old air into his lungs, and while it had been ages, it still reached his heart and trapped it in a familiar cage momentarily. It all appeared much smaller now or perhaps haunted by the words, the promises, and the betrayals. Haunted by the time, all of Wilbur’s suspicions had been confirmed, because loyalty was thin, and everyone was only looking out for their own self-interest. He was reminded of Tommy’s anger as they confronted Techno after the festival. Exactly as he predicted, and now everyone had to see it as well. His own laughter from long ago rang through his mind. 

“Hey there, big man!” Tubbo’s voice cut Wilbur out of the undesired nostalgic trance.

Ghostbur gasped, “Tubbo! Is Michael with him?” Wilbur turned and saw the boy standing there, looking at Wilbur expectantly. “Oh, there you are. I’m guessing Michael’s at home with Ranboo.” Wilbur said. Ghostbur’s passive acknowledgment echoed through his mind. He chuckled, “This place has really let itself go, huh?”

“Ah, a bit.” Tubbo said with a shrug, his tone remaining friendly as ever, “People don’t use it for much anymore, but some people stop by or keep some things here I think.”

Wilbur hummed, “You know, I almost didn’t expect it to still be standing at all.”

Tubbo laughed, “Yeah, that’s pretty impressive.”

Wilbur took another look at the path ahead of them and then turned to Tubbo again. “What did you want me for again?”

“Oh, right!” Tubbo said with a quick nod. He gestured towards the paths, “Follow me.” he said, and started walking.

Wilbur resisted the urge to laugh, though the cage only allowed a huff, “That’s a little suspicious, Tubster.” he added the next words in an overexaggerated tone, “Just follow me into this abandoned place! Come alone!”

Tubbo laughed, “To be fair, I didn’t necessarily ask you to come alone.” He bit his lip, and looked as if he pondered something, “I just… Uhm, I wanted to show you something I’ve been working on.”

Curiosity filled Wilbur’s mind. Had Tubbo really been planning to fix up Pogtopia? To make a new nation now that his leader was back? The thought put a smile on his face, “Ooo, do tell.”

Tubbo seemed slightly tense after Wilbur’s intrigue, “I mean, it’s not really anything too great. More like a side project.

“You really have to stop being so humble!” Wilbur put an arm around Tubbo’s shoulders, ignoring the way Tubbo jumped at the action, moving him slightly closer. “You’ve always been doing great things since the day I met you.”

Tubbo slightly untensed at the praise, but his words still seemed stiff, “No no, it’s really nothing. I don’t want you to get hyped then be disappointed.” They made a turn to the right, going to where Tubbo’s previous bunker was. They crossed over the brief patch of dark oak wood on the floor as they both walked into the room.

“You’ve got too high expectations of yourself, I’m sure it’s great.” Tubbo narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips slightly, but didn’t make any other comment. They walked up the stairs and while the room was mostly the same, there were certainly new renovations. Two chairs, a table, and a large bookshelf that seemed half-full. “What are the books about?”

Confusion came across Tubbo’s face before he realized what Wilbur was talking about, “Oh! So the thing is, I’ve been writing some history books. Figured they would be helpful to anyone new coming here.”

Wilbur exclaimed, “That’s great! People will get to know how great L’Manberg was and the valiant wars we fought. Tubbo, this whole thing is a great idea.”

Apprehension clouded Tubbo’s eyes, causing Wilbur’s grin to drop slightly. Neither of them said anything about it though. Instead, Tubbo spoke hesitantly, “Okay, so the main thing I wanted your help with is… See, I need some recounts to write some books about history, and what we know about things. The whole revival stuff is pretty new to most of us so… I was just wondering if I could ask you a few questions about it?”

Wilbur swallowed something in his throat, and let out a breath. “Oh.” he said, hesitating, “Of course. Sure! Why not.”

“Great!” Tubbo said, almost looking a little surprised at the answer, “You can sit there.” He pointed to one of the chairs Wilbur noticed earlier. He sat down as Tubbo riffled through a barrel. Moments passed before Tubbo came back with a book and quill. 

“Alright, let’s start at the beginning. What do you remember from being revived?” Tubbo sat down in the other chair, opening the book to the first page.

“Wow. That’s a big question.” Wilbur thought for a moment, “I was in limbo and I saw this train coming.”

Tubbo stopped him, “What does limbo look like?”

Wilbur thought it was obvious what limbo looked like, but he spent thirteen and a half years in that place, and the boy in front of him probably never thought about that horrible place. “Well, to me, it’s this train platform. Hm- it was somewhat of a subway station, but trains pulled in, not subways.” Tubbo nodded as he wrote the information down.

“No matter where I looked, no matter where I went. Just concrete walls all around. And a tube with a track running straight along. But- it didn’t matter what I did. I could claw at the walls, bash on the doors, scream for help.” Wilbur let out a melancholic chuckle as his eyes watered, “I screamed ‘till my lungs were sore and my voice was hoarse.”

Wilbur momentarily wiped the tears out of his eyes, glad Tubbo was looking at his book and not him. “Nothing ever changes, nothing ever comes, nothing ever helps you, Tubbo.” Wilbur took a shaky breath as he ran a hand through his hair.

Tubbo nodded, his voice remaining neutral and focused, “You said trains pull in? Did you ever try to get on them?”

Wilbur nodded vaguely, “Only three trains came in. The first pulled away before I even realized it was there, but Tommy was on it! And it was great! But then- he got on a train and left. I couldn’t even move when I saw it, I felt paralyzed. Somehow I knew the train was Tommy’s even though I deserved to get on there.” Bitterness took the end of Wilbur’s voice, but Tubbo didn’t say anything about it. 

Instead, he hummed in acknowledgment, “What did the train look like? Was there anything unusual about it?”

Wilbur tilted the chair back slightly, looking at the ceiling, “I don’t think so? I couldn’t see it very well, I got too euphoric about the idea that I didn’t pay attention. The inside of the train was made out of dark oak. The seats were a dark green- sort of like a forest green.”

“And you got on the third train or a different one?”

“The third one, it’s the only one I could get on. When I saw the train pulling in, I was so thrilled. I could barely even feel my legs as I ran there. There was this weird guy though. When the train stopped, he was thrown on the ground. I saw two people including the weird one on that train. The weird one was a desaturated me. Just rolling into my town! Just browsing in by my limbo.”

Wilbur exhaled, the feeling of being alive coursing through him once again, “It’s weird, his face was steaming with tears. T-They looked like they were burning him?” 

Although he didn’t mean to ask the question, Ghostbur responded with quietness in his voice, “Yeah. I don’t like them very much.”

Wilbur sniffled, “But you know who else was on that train? The one conducting the train, the one who let me out, Tubbo.”

Tubbo momentarily looked up from his book, “Who?”

“Dream.” Although everyone said the masked man was horrible and deserved to rot in an obsidian prison for the rest of his life, a grin slipped on his face when he said his name. “It was Dream. My hero, my fucking hero Dream, saved me!” Ghostbur’s breath hitched and Tubbo tensed. While Wilbur felt like he won the lottery of life. His chest heaved as he continued, “Oh my that decade of waiting, I thought I wanted to die. I thought I wanted to die all those years ago, but now I’ve seen what hell is! Now I’ve seen the other side. I’ve been given a new lease on life! There’s so many things I’m going to do, there’s so many great things, I can’t even begin to describe them.” While Wilbur’s face was beaming with happiness, Tubbo’s showed a worry that gently shook in the silence between them. 

Words were escaping Wilbur almost on instinct, and perhaps he shouldn’t have said as much as he said, but if Tubbo wanted knowledge, knowledge should be shared. And in a sense, saying it all out loud served as a reminder. That perhaps Wilbur’s fragile connections didn’t matter much in the end, because the euphoria of being alive still lingered in his chest.

Tubbo looked back down at his book, scribbling some things for a few moments, flipping the page. “Are there- alright- sorry, one second.” Tubbo took a shaky breath, putting down the quill for a moment. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his hands over his eyes. After a few seconds passed, Tubbo sat normally. Wilbur slightly wilted at the beginnings of tears in Tubbo’s eyes, but he didn’t bother to say anything about it. Especially when he only momentarily met Wilbur’s gaze, focusing right back onto the book. 

Tubbo inhaled slowly as he fiddled with the page, “Are there any side effects to you coming back? Like- does anything feel different?” He looked towards the book with unsure eyes, but Wilbur shrugged it off. 

“Hm.” There was a fucking ghost in his head, that was a start. Not that he was going to say that. Perhaps an implication, but he wasn’t going to explain it fully. “I’m not really sure. I mean sometimes I think that Ghostbur, the desaturated me… is there with me in spirit if that makes sense?”

Tubbo furrowed his brow, but he remained focused on the book, “Elaborate please.”

“Well, I feel like he’s in my head a little bit. Like as if we’re sharing the same experiences, and he knows what I’m going through.”

Tubbo nodded bluntly stating, “So you’re experiencing a divide in identity. As if your body isn’t your own?”

Wilbur frantically shook his head, “No no, I still control my body. I still have my thoughts to myself. I just feel like Ghostbur’s still here in a way.” His shoulders untensed as he let out a breath. He wasn’t sure what he was trying to say or explain. The words had likely been far too risky in the first place. He’d gotten carried away. “It’s probably just because people talk about him sometimes, you know?”

Tubbo looked up from his book, skepticism filling his eyes, “Oh I gotcha.” He wrote something else down, but Wilbur felt like the boy didn’t understand what he was saying at all.

There was a confused sound in Wilbur’s mind. “But… I’m with you! Aren’t I?” the words came out with a strained melancholy, but Wilbur didn’t respond. 

“On the subject of Ghostbur, do you have any of his memories?” Tubbo asked, “He had some of yours after all.”

Wilbur inhaled through his nose. “Some,” he said shortly, thinking of the vague sensations, and the memories that felt as if he was trapped inside someone else. Trapped inside a cage, unable to do what he wanted. Yet, he didn’t have many. The most detailed ones weren't memories at all, but rather Ghostbur’s own words, provoking images that might’ve been real. “It’s all a bit vague still, but I do remember it. Almost like watching in the third person, or watching as your body moves without you.” As he said the words, he felt quick images flash by in his mind. Anger he couldn’t feel, and words that seemed far off. Watching the people he knew suffer, though he wasn’t sure who or why, and perhaps it didn’t matter. 

“Any specific events?” Tubbo asked.

While the memories were right at the tip of his tongue, there was very little he could recall directly. Though Ghostbur had filled him in at least a little bit, so he should account for that. “They’re not that specific but I feel as if some of them are coming back.” Wilbur said, “I remember the sheep thing. Who was it, Friend?” he let out a quick laugh.

Tubbo nodded and wrote something down again. “I see.” 

There was silence for a bit before Wilbur broke in. “Have you asked Tommy about this whole revival business? He went through it as well after all, and didn’t spend quite as long as I did in limbo.”

Tubbo tensed up. “Ah, a bit.” his professional tone wavered, “He uh… He’s not too fond of talking about it as of now. So, he prefers it when people don’t ask.” he smiled hesitantly, though the boy clearly looked troubled.

“Oh,” Wilbur said quietly. For a brief moment, he recalled the fearful anger in Tommy’s eyes from earlier, but he quickly let the thought dissolve.

“How long did you spend in limbo, again?” Tubbo asked.

“Thirteen and a half years.” Wilbur answered without any hesitation, “I counted the days,”

“How exactly did you do that? Could you see the sun?”

“There was a clock.” Wilbur responded briefly, “I couldn’t see what day it was but I could see the hours. I could feel it. And there was a faint light somewhere in the distance I could never quite reach.” He remembered it clearly, as he watched hours pass. Days upon days, months upon months.

“Okay.” Tubbo said with a nod, “Tommy said two months in limbo were two days here. I’m not sure if it’s still accurate for yours since I can’t really do the math right now, but it could vaguely be a limbo month equals a real day here.”

Wilbur almost pointed out that limbo was real and it was realer than anything Tubbo had ever experienced, but he only squinted as he tried to think. “I think that’s true.” he said, “Tommy mentioned his limbo was just a black void, but I did let him know much time had passed.”

It would be beneficial for Wilbur to know exactly how time passed differently. Perhaps it would help him when he communicated with Ghostbur, or when he tried to find a way to separate them. Then again, the thought of the passage of time, and the lengthy silence Ghostbur experienced, made Wilbur yearn to think of something else, whenever the thought passed his mind. “If you somehow learn anything else I…” he paused, “Tell me. I’m curious,” he said, his mouth curving up. Information. He needed more information, to fix all of it.

Tubbo looked at Wilbur for a little while, before nodding. “Of course.” he said, “Anything else you want to add?”

“Nope, I think that covers all of it,” Wilbur said, unsure what else there was to say.

“I’m here! We can talk and everything. That might be relevant!”

Tubbo wrote a few more lines in the book, “Great! Thanks, big man.” He closed it, putting it in a chest nearby. Wilbur got up and skimmed the bookshelf sleeves. There were quite a decent amount of books. They seemed to be chronological as well. Well- as chronological as they could be. Some of the books on the bottom shelf all seemed to be about science rather than history with titles like, “Hybrids” and “The End”. Wilbur heard ages ago it was some sort of other dimension that was similar to the Nether but had a dragon and creatures that made you float if they hit you. It was probably less scientific than the other books, filled with legended fables and short stories since as far as he knew, the End was only a fairytale world Phil told him about as a kid to help him sleep. 

The shelf above had the names of all the wars they’d been through, with some of them being long enough for two books. Now that he looked at it, all the books seemed to be around four hundred pages. Wilbur let out a surprised noise, causing Tubbo to look over.

He walked to where Wilbur was standing, “Everything alright?”

Wilbur nodded, “I was just looking at all the books you’ve got. Are all of them full?”

Tubbo looked bashfully, despite the proud look in his eyes, “I mean, some more than others, but in general, I just write any information I can find. A lot of the originals were destroyed a while back, so they’re a bit incomplete. Interviews fill up most of it.”

Wilbur’s eyes focused on a book that stood at the end of the middle shelf, titled, ‘The Destruction of L’Manberg’. Wilbur pointed to the book that grabbed most of his attention. He caught a smile across his own face  “Can I read a bit?” He asked, glancing at Tubbo, “I know it’s a bit macabre but… You know that morbid fascination with what people would say about you after you’re dead? I just wanna know what people thought after everything I did.”

Tubbo seemed hesitant but nodded anyway. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” He walked downstairs, and as soon as Wilbur couldn’t see him anymore, he felt an odd sense of relief. Information was an old comfort to him. The side that won the war always had more information. Knowing what the other side had for breakfast was almost just as important as finalizing your battle plans. And in truth, the idea of obituaries or requiems from his enemies was something that made him want to laugh.

And now, with so much knowledge in front of him, he grabbed the book that lingered in his mind.

[writing-in-april]

Bulletproof

Javier Peña x Female Reader

Summary: Reader can’t stop staring at Javier in his bulletproof vest and he can’t stop staring at Reader too.

A/N: I’ve had this idea stuck in my head for a while and literally could not stop thinking about fucking Javier while he had his vest on. Also if the Spanish translations are off I’m sorry I only have a small grasp on the language, though I am trying to get better. The translations are at the bottom of the fic. This is the third fic for my 1000 follower celebration!!! Hope y’all enjoy!! Thanks for reading and requests are open!

Warnings: 18+, Clothed sex, Public sex, Unprotected sex, Oral sex (M receiving) 

Main Masterlist Word count: 1.7k

These damn vests were going to be the death of me, I swear. They made the humid heat of Colombia feel even more scorching, making my whole body drip with perspiration.

And, it didn’t help that Javier looked so good in them. A different kind of wetness pooled whenever I saw him in the army green vest that was too tight, just like the rest of the clothing he wore.

Today, we were on a raid of one of one of Escobar’s supposed hideouts and the damn heat wouldn’t let up. Part of me wished I had gotten the chance to stay behind with Steve at the Embassy, but then I would’ve missed out on the chance to see Javier wearing the bulletproof vest.

The green vest was a distraction to my work, every time I saw him in it I almost lost my mind in lust. Luckily, for a while I was able to keep my eyes off of Javier, making excuses about the sun being annoying in my eyes so I could stare at his shoes instead. I couldn’t avoid confrontation with the look of him in his vest for long. As soon as we were ready to go I had to pick my head up to meet his eyes so I could properly do my job. I needed to be able to do this without my arousal getting in the way, I needed to do by job.

I kept my mind as cool as possible while we did our jobs, focusing only on the task at hand and the gun in my hand. Whenever I had to make eye contact with Javier I made sure to not let my gaze wander only looking straight into his eyes. His deep brown eyes were almost as distracting as the vest I thought. I shook my head a little to try and refocus on the task at hand.

Thankfully, we were done only a few minutes later and with no major incident, which was lucky when you looked at our track record.

I put my gun away in the front pocket of my vest while I made my way to my car to grab a bottle of water. It didn’t matter to me that the water was probably not much cooler than I was, anything would be better than nothing.

I could feel Javier’s eyes on me like a hawk as I opened up the cap and began the deluge over my head of lukewarm almost hot water. I did make sure to bend over so as to not get any of the water to drip onto my own vest, though I may have had other motives to stick my ass out into Javier’s line of sight. I was hoping maybe he liked me in the green vest as much as I liked him in it.

The look he flashed me after I had finished pouring the water over my head in an attempt to cool off was anything but professional. I smirked to myself in triumph, I had gotten him to show his feelings, even if it was just a little bit. We had both been dancing around the obvious tension between the two of us for a long time, even before Steve had joined us.

Hopefully that tension would break soon, I didn’t know if I could handle looking at him in the bulletproof vest much longer without asking for a taste.

——-

Once we had gotten back to the embassy, Javier followed behind me back to the room where the vests were stored. It was a small little back room at the embassy that had other miscellaneous items the staff used. The tension between the two of us was as thick as the air around us, anyone could tell just from looking at us in passing. If Javier wasn’t going to make the first move, I guess it would have to be me.

“¡Apúrate!” I shouted behind me, prompting him to pick up his pace. He fell in step next to me, putting us on equal footing again. I no longer felt like I was being chased by Javier, I wonder if a woman had ever challenged his dominance before. If he had never been challenged before, he was sure in for a surprise from me.

I slammed the door open and pulled him into the small room. Though I was a little ungraceful I didn’t care, I needed him now. Shutting the door behind me I pushed his back against the nearest wall in the small room. Before I could ask him if he wanted this, Javier turned the tables on me. Pushing himself off from the door, he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back where his original position was.

“Do you want this?”

“Thought that was obvious.” At my confirmation Javier captured me into a bruising kiss, his lips were chapped, but still beautifully soft to me. I could tell he was surprised that I didn’t give up dominance in the kiss, battling it out with him over who got to take over. Eventually, he unfortunately won when he unbuttoned my pants and put his hands into my panties, causing me to gasp into his mouth. I kicked my pants off as he started to move his mouth down to kiss my neck, I did make sure to sharply warn him about being careful to not leave hickies.

He then started to undo the vest that was still strapped tight to my curves, but I stopped him, bringing his hands to my hips before gasping, “I need you now, don’t bother taking it off.”

My voice sounded pathetically desperate. Normally I would’ve felt embarrassed at how willing I was to beg for a man, but I was too far gone to care.

“Vale, hermosa.” He thankfully obliged my request, pulling my drenched panties to the side and running his thick fingers through my folds. “Te sientes muy mojada, carajo.”

His words stoked the blistering heat in my core, causing me to whine, “I said I needed you now, Javi.”

“So demanding, hermosa.” His eyes rolled as well in response to my command. Thankfully, he did listen to me somewhat and started to undo his belt buckle. Once he was free from the confines of his criminally tight jeans, I realized he didn’t have any boxers on.

“No boxers? Even on a raid?” I got another eye roll directed at me for that comment, plus a little scoff. Though I had teased him, I wasn’t displeased in the slightest. His cock was a rosy brown with the head flushed red and he was thicker than anyone I had ever been with. Maybe, he’d let me take him in his mouth sometime.

“Shush, got to be quiet in here. Wouldn’t want anyone seeing would we?” The smirk he flashed me after he mocked me made my knees even weaker. Before I could think of a retort he had slung my right leg over his slim hips, pulled my panties aside again, and lined himself up to my entrance. He ran the head of cock over my clit a few times just to pull a few whimpers from my lips, of course he couldn’t help but keep on teasing me. He sunk into me finally after I had sufficiently been teased enough for his standards. Immediately he started a fast past, his cock slamming into me hard enough to mix pleasure with pain deliciously. Our chests were pressed together tightly, the thick Kevlar vests that were not making the heat any easier rubbing up against each other. A moan escaped my lips despite my attempts to stifle them by biting my lips, he then captured my lips in another bruising kiss to stifle the moans that were now unconsciously falling from my mouth. Sweat dripped off of both of us as he continued to fuck me, I didn’t care about the heat this time. I could get over any obnoxious temperature if I got to be with Javier, even if it was only for a moment.

My head slammed back against the wall, the pain still did nothing to dampen the pleasure I was feeling as Javier’s cock dragged through my walls at a blistering pace. I was dangerously close to the edge even only after a few minutes of our thighs slapping against one another.

“Cum for me, hermosa.” He grunted into my neck, his pace only faltering slightly as he got closer to his own high. With a few circles of his thick fingers on my clit and a pitch of his hips towards my g spot, I fell off the edge. Javier’s hand clamped over my mouth as he helped me ride out my high, to prevent another one of my moans from alerting anyone as to what was going on in the embassy’s storage room.

“Where can I-“  He spoke breathlessly after I had ridden out my euphoric high.

“In my mouth.”

I fell down onto my knees immediately taking his cock into my mouth, not caring about the sharp sting in my knees or the fact that the floor probably had never been cleaned by maintenance. It didn’t matter much, I was already dirty everywhere else.

He grabbed the back of my head, tugging at my hair hard before pushing his cock as far down my throat as possible. I groaned around him at the feeling, glad that I had gotten my internal wish of being able to suck his cock. It only took a minute until he was spilling himself inside my mouth with a quiet groan from his plush lips.

He pulled himself out of my mouth after he had ridden out his high, then graciously helping me off the ground. After we had cleaned ourselves up as best as we could in silence, that was unfortunately awkward. I guess this was probably going to be a one time thing. I should’ve known, Javier doesn’t do relationships.

“Wait.” My steps away from him stopped as I started to exit the storage room. I turned around to face him, even though I was probably going to just be told that this wasn’t going to happen again. Though, I still opened up my ears to listen, “I wanted to tell you before we fucked, but I wanted to let you know that I don’t just want you for sex. I want you beyond that, hermosa.”

The words he spoke were cloying to me; I never expected someone like Javi to ever say those words to any woman, even during post coital bliss. Though I wasn’t bulletproof against his charms, they snuck under the vest and shot me right in the heart. I didn’t want my vest to protect me from him anyway, I gladly returned the affection.

——-

Spanish to English translations (I’ve only got a little bit of a grasp on the language so there may be mistakes)

Apúrate!- Hurry up!

Vale, hermosa- Ok, beautiful

Te sientes muy mojada, carajo- Oh, you feel so fucking wet

—-

Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky​

Javier Peña/Narcos:

[fragileizywriting]

Fic Writer Questions

i got tagged by @miabrown007!!!!! this is so exciting!!!!!!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

21!!!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

643,153 (400k+ of that was written this year!!!)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I've only ever written for Miraculous Ladybug on AO3!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I Want That Can't-Sleep Love: I wrote this fic while going through one of the most absolute turbulent experiences in my lifetime. Subsequently, this was also my first fic on AO3! And somehow it's been my most "famous" one, too. This is an ASMR AU where Marinette and Adrien are both extremely popular YouTubers who do ASMR for a living and have no idea who each other are, because they film from the neck down.

The Stars Are Nothing (Compared to Your Constellations of Freckles): This is a sort-of Marichat fic! As in, Marichat is a thing in this fic, and Adrien really wants to tell Marinette that he's Chat Noir. Her boyfriend. That guy. He wants to tell her. But is waaaay too much of a sissy to do it.

Locker Talk: Mouse Miraculous!Marinette and Snake Miraculous!Luka get trapped in a closet because of an Akuma, and then they fall in love. Maybe. The order might be wrong, though.

Sharks and Sugar: Quite possibly my prized possession, that will only be surpassed when I finish this very fic's sequel Eight for Two, this is a Kwami Swap + Reverse Crush AU in which Marinette has the Cat and Adrien has the Ladybug, and it's this AU's version of Ladrien. And Marinette has ADHD. And is obsessed with the idea of sharks. Adrien's just here for the ride.

The Bet: Also a Marichat fic! This one is really old. Chat Noir bets Marinette that he can kiss her by the end of the night, and he says this while he's in the middle of getting absolutely dragged through the mud in last place as they play Mario Kart (Mario Kart Wii, actually, because Mario Kart Wii is superior to literally every other Mario Kart that exists)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Okay so uh. Uhm.

The short answer is no.

The long answer is: I really really want to. I get so excited reading comments and so euphoric that I never know how to respond. I get so embarrassed by whatever I end up typing into the comment box that I end up deleting it and kind of hiding away. The brief and small times I do actually manage to hit send, however, are the times where my worry has really been overcome by the need to answer.

I'm not a native English speaker, so I get incredibly shy. Like, really shy with the idea of being misunderstood and coming off as mean and rude.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Technically speaking the only angst I've written that has an ending is something isn't right (echoing mirrors). It's a Chat Blanc-centric drabble that's about a thousand words!

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope! I've never been interested in writing or reading crossovers, I'll be honest. I always exclude them from my searches on AO3.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven't received hate, but I have gotten a few comments before saying "It would've made more sense if this character had done this, because of..." and essentially psycho-analyzing my plot and character motives for a better reason. It... didn't do me good. I felt incredibly embarrassed.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

No! I don't write smut. It's incredibly difficult, and I don't have the talent for it. There are so many good smut writers out there that I feel like anything I wrote would feel dull in comparison!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'm not a popular writer! A sad but grateful thing to be! I don't think anyone's stolen my fic, at least, I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but there's a scene in one of my fics called Eight for Two that I think about constantly that I would really really kill to be translated into Portuguese. The problems I have with English with not being able to differentiate a "ser" and "estar"s... oh it frustrates me to no end. One of the reasons why I haven't finished this fic yet is I'm not sure how to make this much of an impact with this chapter in English.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Depends! I've been writing a fic called fire lily petals that is based off of an AU that a Miraculous server came up together in 2018 that I decided to write a "bit" of. 100k+ words after that and I've deviated from the original plot too much to consider it the original AU.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

There's a hierarchy for me, right? I guess if I had to pick in the typical lovesquare, it would most definitely be Adrienette. I love the idea of Adrien being smitten with Marinette.

But if AUs are allowed in this idea, I really like the idea of a Reverse-Crush Adrien/Lady Noire. It's such a good ship. Ahhh. So good so good. It's literally just Marichat but catgirl instead of catboy. So good.

But... let's be honest with ourselves. If you've actually read my work and know of my work, it comes to no surprise that Lukadrinette is up there as well.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

My fic called The Icarus Theory. It's also a Marichat fic, and I spent a great deal of time thinking and planning and tending to this AU. But I've moved on from it, unfortunately. I used a lot of that groundwork in my Sharks and Sugar fic, though. The last scene that Adrien and Lady Noire have together, in the dark, in chapter six is my love letter to The Icarus Theory (I've never told anyone that!)

What are your writing strengths?

I write a lot of words.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I am not good with commas. I use a lot of emdashes, which look like this guy: "—" and I feel like it's almost painful at how obvious it makes my writing look. It makes my writing stick out like a sore thumb. I feel like my work is very stagnant.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't like it when people combine a mixture of French and English in a fic, it really takes the immersion out. We know they're speaking French, because they live in France. I don't understand why some people write some sentences in French and then proceed to write in the following lines: "I love it when you speak French to me." What! That doesn't make any sense!

Whenever I've written a word or a phrase that is supposed to show up as in a different language, I usually write it in brackets. Every time Marinette has spoken Mandarin in my fics, I write it something like: "And it's a shame, really, because no one ever knew that I can just [switch languages on the get go, just like this. And you just keep nodding your head, don't you? Pretending that you understand?] But I know you don't understand Mandarin."

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Yu-Gi-Oh!

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm going to be honest... Eight For Two. Maybe I'm just being impartial.

[fearfulkittenwrites]

Damian needs help - Super Sons

"After pacing in his room for a while, Damian came to the painful conclusion that he’d need help. Unfortunately, the only people who could offer him said help were... For lack of a better term, irritating. Still, he swallowed his pride and went hunting for the three men he lovingly calls brothers."

Or: Damian asks his brothers how were they able to turn their friendships into romances, because he wants to do the same.

Word count: 1971

Link for it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812319

Or read it below the cut!

After pacing in his room for a while, Damian came to the painful conclusion that he’d need help. Unfortunately, the only people who could offer him said help were... For lack of a better term, irritating. Still, he swallowed his pride and went hunting for the three men he lovingly calls brothers, finding all of them in the cave. Dick was exercising his acrobat skills, Tim was mindlessly kicking the crap out of a punching bag, looking bored, and Jason cleaned his guns while humming “Highway to Hell”.

“I need your help.” He exclaimed, from the top of the stairs. All of them immediately stopped what they were doing. Jason seemed amused, Dick seemed worried and Tim seemed... incredulous.

“You... What?” He asked, stilling the bag.

“I need your help.” He repeated, frowning.

“Something bad happened Dames?” Dick inquired, carefully.

“What? No.” Damian shook his head and climbed down. Dick picked up a towel to remove the sweat from his hair and face, then hanged it around his neck. Jason reassembled his weapons, watching from a safe distance while the rest of them got closer to the boy “I need your help because... I...” His voice became an inaudible mumbe.

“Because what?” Tim inquired.

“Because I want to ask...” Once again, his words became mushed up, hurried and quiet. Dick raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“What?” The teen insisted.

“It’s about Jon, isn’t it?” Dick stated. Damian scowled and nodded.

“What? How did you know that?” Tim stepped in.

“That’s not the point, Drake.” Damian interrupted “I need to ask him out.”

“And what do you need us to do?” Dick asked, reaching for the water bottle on his table.

“I need advice. You have been in situations very similar to mine, and you had a good outcome. How can I achieve that with Jon?”

“I don’t know man, just ask him out.” Tim said, headed back to his punching bag “It’s not like Jon would ever be mean to anyone. Even if you yourself are the incarnation of mean.”

“-tt-.” Damian rolled his eyes “Grayson, what did you do to get West?” He inquired.

“Well, I guess that at first we had like, a bromance, right?”

“Yes. And then what?”

“Then we slept together.” He shrugged. However, as soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted them, straightening his posture “But, uhm, maybe that’s not the best advice for you to follow.”

“I figured that out on my own.” He scowled in disgust. Damian turned to Tim. He was also with a super, so he’d probably be of use to Damian now “What about you, Drake? How did you get the clone?”

“Actually,” He gave a high kick to the bag “Kon was the one who asked me out.”

“And why did you say yes?” He twisted his nose.

“Uh, because I wanted to?” Tim responded, an implied ‘obviously’ in his tone “Anyways, I don’t think I can help you so much in that department. Hey, Jason,” He said “You should be able to help. What did you do to be with Roy?”

“What?” The man answered “Me and Roy aren’t together.”

“Really?” Tim laughed “Then why do you always cuddle when you’re watching a movie together?”

“And why is he always lingering around in the manor?” Damian asked, crossed arms.

“And didn’t you two went out together the other night?” Dick chimed in, biting the end of his bottle.

“We went to a bar, that’s normal.”

“Yeah, except for the fact that I accidentally caught you two in the middle of a heavy makeout session when you came back.” Dick shot back.

“Consider yourself lucky.” Tim said “I caught them doing worse.”

“It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything.” Jason explained.

“Have you been with anyone else lately?” Dick smirked as the other glared at him “Well, he hasn’t either.”

“He...? Wait.” Jason stopped for a second “Shit. Shit. I need to call Roy.” He rushed out of the cave, picking up his cellphone.

Tim chuckled.

“Ugh, clearly, the three of you are useless. As usual.” Damian scowled.

“Oh, c’mon Little D.” Dick said, ruffling his hair “We’re not useless. You’re the one expecting something that doesn’t exist.”

“And what would that be?” He groaned, setting his hair back in order.

“A formula. There’s no such thing as a recipe when it comes to romance. You just have to try whatever feels right.”

“Nothing feels right.” He complained, throwing his small body in a chair.

“That’s because you’re nervous.” Dick pointed out “Just... Ask him if he’d want to go out and have some ice cream this weekend. Then see what happens.”

“This seems like an awfully unprepared date.”

“It doesn’t have to be elaborate Damian.” Dick rolled his eyes.

“Yeah,” Tim chimed in, still torturing the poor bag “I mean, Jon’s a farm boy and he’s the literal personification of sunshine. You could probably take him to a convenience store on a first date and he’d be excited about it.” Damian groaned.

“Fine, I’ll consider it.” Damian said.

Jason ran into the cave in an euphoric state, practically falling down the stairs.

“Guys!” He yelled “Guys you were right! We’re together now! He really is my boyfriend!”

Damian scowled in disgust while Tim and Dick laughed. The boy pushed his brother out of the way as he went back up into the manor, knowing what he had to do, as unpleasant as it might be. He made his way into the ballroom, where Alfred coordinated the cleaning for the incoming gala. Getting the room ready always took at least three days; the butler was a perfectionist.

“Alfred.” He called “I require some assistance.” The man seemed surprise. He nodded, turning his attention to a blushing Damian “Say I intended to ask someone on a date.” His face got redder with each word “What... Where should I take said person?”

“Well, master Damian,” Alfred started “That depends. Who is this girl we’re talking about?”

“Not a girl.” He couldn’t keep eye contact.

“Oh. Then who is this boy we’re thinking of?” Damian couldn’t answer “Is it safe to assume we’re talking about young master Jon?” He shoved his face in his hands and nodded “Very well then.” Alfred had the faintest of smiles on his face “Might I suggest a picnic sir?” Damian peeked through his fingers “I can arrange a meal to be eaten in the garden.” He removed his hands from his face, placing them on his chin.

“Maybe. But I have a better idea.”

...

Damian paced on the roof when he saw a blue blur coming in his direction. He smiled. Jon landed next to him, Superboy outfit on.

“Hey D.” He greeted, smiling “Why aren’t you wearing your costume?”

“They’re not...” He bit his tongue “Wait. What did the clone tell you?”

“Kon told me that Tim told him that you asked him to tell Kon to tell me that you’d be waiting in the roof for me tonight.” Jon tilted his head a little “Why?”

“Did that idiot tell you why I’d be waiting in the roof?” Damian was fuming. He wished he had simply asked Jon himself.

“No? I assumed it was hero stuff.” He looked past him. There was a picnic basket and a checkered red tablecloth set on the ground “Oh.” He blushed.

“Yeah. Oh.” Damian said, huffing “Stupid clone. You should leave. I won’t force you to...”

“No! No, it’s a good kind of ‘oh’.” Jon extended his hands, stopping Damian “I... Liked it. I just wish I had a better outfit on.”

“Well,” Damian shifted his weight from one leg to the other “In that case, maybe we should sit.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Jon swallowed, unsure on how to act. Damian pulled out the food Alfred had prepared for them.

“I, uhm, I asked Alfred to make these.” He placed two sandwiches in front of them “They’re chickpeas ‘tuna’ sandwiches. If you don’t like them, I’m certain Alfred would be happy to make you something else.”

“I’ve never had those before,” Jon said, examining it “They seem good.”

“They are.” Damian watched as Jon bit into his sandwich, hopeful.

“Hum.” He exclaimed, mouth full “I like it.” Damian let out a breath. He pulled out two glass bottles.

“Orange juice?”

“Yes, please.” Jon took one from his hands.

They ate quietly. Damian noticed how Jon’s blue eyes looked beautiful under the moonlight, how his hair framed his face perfectly when it was ruffled up by the wind, how his smile still knocked the breath out of his lungs, no matter how many times he’s seen it before. Jon stared at the stars.

“This is so nice.” He said “It’s been so long since I last saw them this bright. The lights in metropolis get in the way.” Damian looked up “I thought they’d get in the way here too, but I guess that the manor is far enough from the city that it doesn’t.” He sighed “It makes me miss Hamilton.”

Damnit. Damian planned this so carefully. How could he have missed something so obvious? Now Jon was sad, and it was his fault. He should’ve just taken him for stupid ice cream.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He said, head low.

“Upset me?” Jon asked “You didn’t upset me. This is perfect, D.”

“But you just said...?”

“That it makes me miss Hamilton? That’s not a bad thing.” Jon smiled, biting his sandwich again “It means that you gave me back something I thought I had lost for good after I moved.” He inched a hand closer to Damian’s. He retributed the movement, fingers touching slightly. None of them wanted to pull away.

Once they were done eating, Damian reached into the basket again, pulling out...

“Cookies!” Jon excitedly pointed out. Damian smirked.

“I knew you’d like them.” Jon fished one out of the bag.

“Oh, they’re still warm!” He nearly moaned as he bit into one of them “These are so good.”

“I’ll let Alfred know you appreciated them.” Damian watched his satisfied munching.

“Mmm, please do!” He licked his lips, getting the crumbs away from them and into his mouth. Damian swallowed.

Jon ate the cookies at record speed, and now they were both laying on the roof in silence, looking up at the sky. It was a warm night and the full moon was as bright as it could be, lighting up the distant Gotham streets.

“Now what?” Jon nearly whispered.

“You have your suit. I could put on my suit and we could patrol in Gotham tonight.” Damian said, eyes fixed on the sky “Or we could stay here.”

“I like the second option better.” He answered, pushing himself up. He floated over Damian, blue eyes piercing through his soul. Damian reached up, setting a hand behind Jon’s neck, playing with the hair growing there, slowly bringing him down into a kiss. They closed their eyes for a second, lips pressed together until Damian pulled away.

“Was it... Good?” He whispered.

“Yeah.” Jon answered “Can I land on top of you?” Damian nodded. Jon laid down again, tangling their legs together, supporting his head on the other’s chest “This feels like a dream.” His voice was almost inaudible.

“Tell me about it.” Damian’s hand moved to comb through his hair gently, voice nothing but a whisper. Jon made an approving hum and he smiled.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Me too.”

“I guess we’re both idiots then, huh?” Jon looked up at him “Waisting our time bickering when we could’ve just... Said it.”

Damian swallowed.

“This is the only time you’re ever allowed to call me an idiot.” He wanted to scowl, but he grinned instead. Jon chuckled.

“Okay. Please don’t stop playing with my hair.”

“I won’t.”