#i had so many panic attacks over her. i would get in trouble because of how hard i fought to be there for her. i was a kid.

[oldhabitsdiescrming]

.

[yunyunrin]

Chapter Two : Holy Fool

genre : horror, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, enemies to lovers, alternate universe, slow burn

pairing : angel!reader (gn) x kingofhell!???, other side pairings

chapter warnings : arguing, crying, flashback, panic attacks, religious themes, yandere themes, anxiety

wc : a bit over 10k

A/N : here we go!!! everything from here on out is going to be a bit more fast paced so i’m excited for that 😣 and i finally got the motivation to edit! if i left out any warnings on accident let me know!

MDNI

holy fool masterlist | chapter one | next

“Glory be to God, Amen,” you recite to yourself as you finish your prayer, quickly looking around to find a familiar face.

“Angel Blossom!” Poppy shouted a little ways away from you as she walked towards you after the prayer, granted her choice of volume garnered some stares from the other Angels. Poppy didn’t seem to mind though. As long as the prayer was over, it was okay to be happy in the prayer hall.

“Hi my darling Poppy, how are you today?” you asked. Poppy seems to be in a cheery mood tonight, more so than usual.

“I should be asking you that, Blossom,” Poppy replied. You know what she is talking about, tonight is when you head back down to Earth for your first assignment. You haven’t been back down to Earth since that night all those years ago. Not even thinking about the content of that night since a day or so after you returned to Heaven after the fact. Listening to Poppy was most important to you then, and it is the same now. Although you are having much more trouble not thinking about it since Angel Zen has told you about your impending assignment a few weeks back.

“I’m doing okay, nervous,” you respond. You and Poppy have now made it back to your shared room.

“It’s okay to be nervous, it is your first assignment. You will do well. Come on, let's go wash off before we head out,” Poppy ushers you quickly out the room once you gather your clothes towards the communal showering area. You both walk in and there is no other Angel there. Everyone has washed off already, but you and Poppy are washing off again.

Poppy and Angel Zen are still the only ones who know of your past as a human. In the years since becoming an Angel, you’re allowed to be around the others now, but you choose not to be close with them. Of course, you’re cordial, but you couldn’t risk them finding out anything, so you stick to Poppy. You’re truly grateful for Poppy, you don’t know what you did to deserve her. One day, you told her that when you were alive, you would take hot showers when you were stressed or nervous and ever since then when you are nervous or stressed, she takes you straight to the showers to relax.

Initially you never thought you’d be able to get used to the new life you had, thinking that your experience on Earth would make you too bashful for some of the things that Angels are accustomed to. Quickly it became something you got used to. For example, the communal showers do not have any dividers; you’re seeing everyone the way that they were made, but it wasn’t weird. You and Poppy have had many conversations over the years as you washed yourselves like you are now, but it is no different from the talks you have when you are in the comfort of your shared room.

“Your assignment, the family has had two more kids since you have last seen them. A three-year-old and a newborn,” Poppy informs you as she walks to the mirror to get a better look at drying her hair with her towel.

This hurts your heart a bit, you know not everyone has a bad life but from what you have learned in the past couple of months from Poppy, this situation was not too good. You wish you could give the mother the strength to leave, but your focus is on the children and your only job is to protect them to the best of your ability.

“Thank you for telling me, Poppy. Where are you going for your assignment tonight?” You question because Poppy herself is also getting a new assignment tonight.

“I’m going to Cana-da-da-da,” Poppy laughs at you, “apparently they are a sweet family. The grandparents live with the family and one of them will be getting diagnosed with cancer soon. I will be there long enough to help with the blow it will bring to the grandchildren,” she drops her shoulders once the information leaves her mouth. Poppy is a very emotional Angel that always takes things to heart. That is what makes her different from many of the Angels you have encountered. The others aren’t often phased by what they see, just doing their assignments and coming back to pray. A routine they have perfected over time, but Poppy is unique. You’ve had to comfort Poppy a lot because she feels everything from everyone around her.

Once you and Poppy are done washing off, you return to back to your bedroom. “Listen to me Blossom, everything will be okay with the kids. They are strong, I wouldn’t lie to you,” Poppy stated before you both were about to take your leave. “You will be okay, I promise. You can always talk to me through your bond and I will come in a second, now go to those kids,” Poppy pats your back, and you nod at her before transporting to the home of your assignment.

—

It’s been four years since the air of the Earth has hit your skin. The family from four years ago lives in a new place now, as you transport yourself in the entryway you take in the surroundings of their space. It’s small, a kitchen/dining area, a small living room, a bathroom, and two bedrooms. Poppy’s words are replaying in your mind as you walk to the children’s room. “You’ll be okay Blossom,” you mumble to yourself. The room is small, a bunk bed and a crib. The kid you last saw four years ago taking the top bunk while the toddler is on the bottom bunk, and obviously the baby is in the crib. You move to get in the bed with the toddler, cradling him in your hold. Poppy told you that is what she did, as he is prone to nightmares and this is all that helps.

The children are asleep, and the house is quiet, which leaves you with one thing to do. Think. Four years ago. You physically cringe at the memory and your stupidity. You are certain that if Poppy’s hair wasn’t permanently a bright golden color that it would have grayed instantly that night.

You’ve learned a lot since then, you could understand why Poppy was worried. Even if you had brushed against the man, you would have been a fallen Angel that instant. That goes for touching any non-human unless they are an Angel or a child under the age of twelve. Also witches, even the human ones. You didn’t really understand the witches, though, you knew some who practiced when you were alive, and they were some of the kindest people you knew. But that’s the rules, and you can’t do anything about that.

You still didn’t know anything about the Kings of Hell. You couldn’t genuinely ask because to every other Angel in Heaven, you already knew. Angel Zen was not someone you wanted to talk to more than you had to, and you knew how Poppy felt talking about them. You just hated feeling ignorant, your ignorance is what put you and Poppy in danger in the first place.

Although you feared how the family would fare during your shift, you were more afraid of seeing him. You know it is not a sin to find people attractive, but is it when they are a King of Hell and you’re a Guardian Angel? His sharp jawline and the singsong voice he used when he spoke to you, “shut up Blossom,” scolding yourself for thinking of him. He has definitely forgotten you by now and if he did remember you, it is because you were a Heavenly being who didn’t know he was a King of Hell.

Morning comes quickly, and your assignment shift is almost done. The kids slept soundly, now there is one thing left to do before you go back. Pray over the children. You fall to your knees in front of the window of the room and put your hands together, “God, please protect this family, —” Cinnamon. Cinnamon fills your nostrils and your hands start to tremble. “No, not now, please not now,” you say to yourself before finishing your prayer.

The smell of cinnamon and the feeling of his eyes on you has not left since the beginning of your prayer. This can’t be happening, you think to yourself as you walk to the kitchen, hoping that their mother is cooking breakfast with cinnamon or perhaps lit a cinnamon scented candle? You enter the kid’s room defeated as neither was happening. The feeling of him is strong, but you can’t see him. But you aren’t looking, your eyes have been tightly shut since you entered the room, finding solace again with the toddler. Instead, hoping that this time your nightmare will go away, but it does not.

“I know you are there but please not today. Please — leave me alone,” you begged into the thick tension of the room. You weren’t expecting it to anything, especially for the presence to dissipate as soon as you were finished speaking. He let you off the hook today, and for that, you are grateful.

—

As you enter back into Heaven you find yourself going straight to the showers in hopes that Poppy has already been back and showered, but as you walk in you see that that was, in fact, not the case. Poppy looks like she has not started showering yet, but the only available spot was right next to her. It isn’t like you would rather not see her, you did want to see her. But you can’t tell her that you felt him. She still hasn’t mentioned that night even when she saw your nervousness before your assignment. Could she have truly forgotten?

You make your way beside Poppy and turn the showers on, warm water instantly hitting your skin. You aren’t sure how the Earth changes your scent, but you know that it does. Even if it is a little bit. “Blossom, how was your first night on assignment?” Poppy questions, the suds from her shampooed hair falling down the side of her face.

“It went well, they had a pretty good night, thankfully,” you answer politely, not meeting her gaze.

“I’m glad. You smell not like how I did when I came back from their assignment?” Poppy inquires. You can feel her eyes on you, and you begin to feel small under her gaze.

“What do you mean?” you ask, hoping that your ignorance will help you with the incoming questions that you know you will receive from her.

“You smell like cinnamon. How come?” her voice is noticeably down a few octaves. Shit, she is on to you. You immediately start thinking of an excuse, anything to save your ass.

“Right before I left for assignment, their father used the bathroom, I’m assuming his stomach had gotten upset from something he consumed the night before. Before too long, the whole apartment was smelling… Not good. His wife woke up a short time after and lit a candle, probably cinnamon,” you chuckle to yourself and move to rinse your hair, “I’m thankful she did, if she didn’t, I would likely smell a lot worse…” you told Poppy, hoping that your lie was enough to fool her.

Poppy nods her head and the rest of the time you and her spend showering was met with silence. After your shower ends, you go to your room to make sure you have everything you need for your prayer. Some Angels take holy books to pray, others take holy memorabilia, others take nothing. It just depends on the mood and the Angel. Tonight you opt to take a holy book while Poppy just makes sure she looks presentable enough to walk into the prayer hall. ‘You know you can tell me anything, Blossom’ Poppy shares with you through your bond. You look at her and smile, showing that you understand and that you will. Your second lie in Heaven tonight, wow you really are the best Angel, sighing to yourself at the hidden thought.

You and Poppy walk shoulder to shoulder into the prayer hall before going to your respective spots. You and Poppy cannot pray together in the prayer hall due to the difference in your ranks. You are the lowest ranked Angel, while Poppy is a few ranks higher than you are. The prayer hall is beginning to fill with Angels which means the official prayer will start soon, but that does not stop other Angels for beginning to pray earlier. You have been in his prayer hall continuously for the past few years, but you don’t think you’ll ever get used to it. The hall is long in length and width, plated with pure gold. The floors are marble and there are cushions of red velvet that act as a barrier for when you fall to your knees during prayer. Contrary to your belief beforehand, there are no statues of Angels because wouldn’t that be weird? Apparently.

The orchestra music pauses, causing you to come back to reality from your thoughts. A high ranked Angel, like Angel Zen for example would start off the prayer and then the remainder of the time Angels would pray about what you feel you needed your attention, or God’s attention. You had three things you wanted to pray on. The first was your ability to lie in Heaven, your faith itself, and —. You pause your last thought. Your prayers go directly to God, and you aren’t sure you want God to know about this yet. But if God is all knowing, then you shouldn’t have to pray about it anyway, right?

After your years of being an Angel you’d expect to be a fierce believer of God, but you are not. You took steps further than you had when you first became an Angel but probably not as much as Poppy would hope. You believe in God, but you don’t feel the need to worship him, you know he exists but is he really worthy of your worship? What makes him more worthy of it than Lord Hades or Lady Athena? This is how you were different from the thousands of other Angels in the prayer hall, you believed in every God’s existence. Your belief would render you an Omnist Pagan, which is why you could never speak of it. That’s why your best friend Poppy could never know that the Angel she worked to help become a pious God-fearing Angel, was a Pagan. During times and thoughts like this you wish you had Dina, where you could speak freely.

—

Although you believe this way, you have a tremendous amount of guilt. You were given a second chance by people who worship God and you could not even worship him in which others feel he deserves. Lying in a space that it was forbidden to lie, and no one was the wiser. You sat here during prayer and prayed the best way you knew how to change the way you thought, to think like Poppy. That’s what you prayed for. But year after year, nothing changes and occasionally, you don’t feel bad. You’re praying about it, so now it’s out of your hands. You know it truly is not, but that thought helps to keep the guilt from consuming you entirely.

Before you know it, the prayer is over and Poppy is making her way to you. The walk back to you and Poppy’s shared room is quiet but comfortable. You walk in first, and Poppy follows and closes the door once she enters. You sit at your respective beds, allowing your bodies to truly rest after the long night of your assignments and the prayer that followed it.

“What do you intend to do today?” Poppy asks cheerily.

“I think that I will sleep for a couple of hours, then clean for a bit, and I think that I will also read some scriptures. How about you?” you ask while glancing at the Angel.

“I think I will go down to Earth for a bit and bring the holy feel to a couple of churches. You know you don’t have to sleep, right? Angels don’t need to sleep to function,” Poppy clarifies, like you didn’t already know. Ever since becoming an Angel and after those first couple of nights, you truly haven’t been tired, but you still sleep. It helps pass the time and if you’re being honest, you hope that one day you will dream. It hasn’t happened, but every so often you wish that you would be allowed to live the way you wanted through your dreams, but you have not been granted that wish.

“Yes Poppy, I know. It is just something I miss from Earth, it’s grounding. Plus, I only do it for a couple of hours. It isn’t like I do it and then wake up to pray and go to assignment. I guess it is a guilty pleasure, you could say,” you retort back

Poppy doesn’t seem too amused with your response, but you were being honest. Sleeping for a couple of hours wasn’t hurting anyone. “Praying is grounding, Blossom. And that guilty pleasure is what we’d call a sin on Earth,” Poppy jitters, her fists clenched.

“Napping isn’t a sin for people on Earth, Poppy,” you clap back while massaging your temples, your voice beginning to sound volatile.

“It is when you nap and aren’t tired that is what God would consider Sloth, Blossom. Don’t try to tell me what is and what is not a sin. Don’t forget who—” Poppy cuts herself off before saying her last bit, looking up at you with glossy eyes at the thought of what she was about to say to you.

“Is the real Angel,” you say, finishing the sentence that she was going to say. Poppy doesn’t normally share her thoughts with you, opting to keep them to herself. But at that moment, she was too angry to keep herself in that white bubble that she finds comfort in.

“That isn’t what I meant, I’m sorry I thought that. We all struggle, we are all tempted. Every Angel is, if we were not there, would be no fallen Angels. Although what I said about the sin being considered Sloth was true, I really cannot judge you for it, as what I struggle with the most is wrath. You have seen it more than I’d have liked. Please forgive me, don’t take what I say out of anger as truth. Only you know your true intentions, all we can do is try to be better. It doesn’t all happen at once,” Poppy says with an apologetic tone. You can’t lie that what she said and thought didn’t hurt your feelings, but you knew she was sorry. You know that much. If you had seen half of what she has seen, you would likely struggle with wrath too. After the argument, you feel nonverbal, so you opt to go and give her a hug to show her that you aren’t mad. You both stay like that for a while, and for once, Poppy lays with you. You aren’t sure if she falls asleep, but you wake up in her arms. You know this is her way of apologizing and if you’re being honest, you’re grateful to have been held after what you have been through during your first day of assignment, even if she doesn’t know what truly transpired.

—

Once you wake up from your nap and Poppy goes to do what she had planned to do during her free time, you decide to go back to the prayer hall to read the scriptures. To anyone else, you would be just an Angel reading the Bible. Which would be true, but you’re reading for a slightly different reason. Who are these Kings of Hell. No one has told you nothing. You think it is crucial for you to know, you have learned of one of their existences, and you don’t think you want that to happen in that way again. Poppy said they don’t normally come out, and the man that night didn’t correct her, so it must be true. But what if they decide to come out one day, and you simply don’t know. You still haven’t encountered a Demon since that night. Obviously, you know how to spot one, but if a King of Hell can look like, not a Demon? Then how are you supposed to know. You felt that same man last night, but you still don’t know his name. Aren’t you supposed to know their names, and it gives you leverage over them? You think about that, you aren’t sure how true it is, but you remember it being talked about from the second Conjuring movie. You laugh to yourself, getting information about Demons from a movie that you saw before you died. Comical.

You read for hours and find nothing. Obviously, the seven sins themselves are talked about, but not the Kings who rule over them. Why are there eight Kings but seven deadly sins? This makes no sense, and you wish someone would just tell you. “Angel,” a gruff voice calls from behind you. You look behind your shoulder to see none other than Angel Zen himself.

“Yes, Angel Zen,” you reply softly to the man who seems to be in a good mood currently.

“Reading scriptures for fun?” he questions, an eyebrow raised. You don’t even know if this Angel has the capability of being in a good mood. Alas, you keep a curt smile on your face while speaking with him.

“Not for fun, but to learn. You can never read too much when it comes to scriptures,” you answer, hoping that the conversation will end soon.

“That is correct, Angel. The orchestra will start soon, so go get ready for prayer,” he instructs before shooing you away with his hand. After the interaction, you walk to your room to get clothes before walking to the showers. As you enter the orchestra, music begins to play, and Angels begin entering the showers. As the showers fill, you begin to wash off with the soap and wash rag. You know the whole point of no scent in the soap is so you will only smell like your scent, but every so often you miss being able to wash yourself with soap that smelled like cotton candy or something magical like that. As you finish your shower and are leaving to go back to your room to get ready for the prayer, Poppy comes in. She smiles at you brightly before going to the shower that you just occupied. If you see her tonight before your assignment, it will only be briefly after the prayer.

The walk to your room was short, and you didn’t really have much to do to get ready for prayer. You decided to bring a cross with you this time instead of the Bible. Honestly, you’re a bit nervous to going out tonight, so the cross will help with your fidgeting during the prayer. If you’re being honest you want answers, but you know the likelihood of you getting them is not strong, but you just wish you could know what everyone else does.

—

And just as quick as the prayer started, it ended just as swiftly. You’re used to looking over your shoulder to see Poppy, but she hasn’t quite made it to you yet. She’s walking your way and as you go up to meet her, she walks right past. She didn’t even look your way. You look around for the only other Angel that you know, Angel Zen. Once you find him, you make brief eye contact before he moves his gaze back to the Angel he was just speaking to.

You sprint back to your room to find Poppy. Once you enter, you see her back, as she is clawing through the drawers with an urgency that you haven’t seen in years. “Poppy,” you cried out, tears threatening to fall down your eyes. She turns around and glances at you but does not make eye contact. Without a word, she is gone. Likely having transported herself to her assignment.

You fall to the floor, your lower limbs having given out on you. Your throat feels like it is closing, and your spit is falling out of your mouth as you sob. ‘Poppy, what did I do wrong, please Poppy’ you ask through your bond, hyperventilating in the position you find yourself in. You try to get up to go to your bed, Poppy having decided not to respond to you. As you’re walking to where your bed sits, your vision gets no better. Your sight is going in and out, and your head is getting lightheaded. You feel your body give out, you come back to reality as soon as your head hits the floor, only having passed out for a few seconds. You opt to lay there because you know you are not strong enough to hold your body up right now. You think of Dina, and how she would help you during your panic attacks.

“Hey Dina, we have the same schedule this week,” you cheered, happy that you and your best friend will see each other a lot the following week. Your best friend jumps up and down with her hands cupping her face, sharing the same excitement. Working at the bakery shop was fun, especially when it was the graveyard shift. All you and Dina did was bake throughout the night, and doing light decorating. The morning shift would come in and do more thorough decorating.

“The owner said we have to bake this huge cake tonight, to not even worry about the small stuff, that he would come in and bake those later in the shift,” Dina says with wide eyes.

“Jeez, how big is the cake?” you question Dina, never has your owner came in to make baked goods. Your manager, sure. The owner? Never.

“We’ll have to see once we get there,” Dina says, and you both walk out the door with pep in your steps because you have got to see what this cake is all about.

“Dina, this is not what I was expecting,” you say with your mouth agape in shock. This cake has so much to it. It’s a gigantic house, three stories. Chocolate, vanilla, red velvet, and strawberry were the flavors that you had to use. But not one part of the cake had to be a certain flavor, but one room in the house had to be a swirl of all the flavors? What an odd request. “I feel bad for who has to frost the cake, they want eight different colors for their frosting. They also want it swirled for that one room,” you tell Dina, still in shock.

“Who even ordered this anyway?,” Dina asks while looking at the ticket, “Kang Yeosang”, Dina says while popping her tongue against the roof of her mouth.

“Well Kang Yeosang better tip us a million fucking dollars Dina,” you laugh to yourself.

“He better, he definitely has a lot of money. Now let's get to baking, the owner of the whole bakery didn’t say not to worry about anything else tonight for a reason.

You and Dina spend the next twelve hours baking the odd request, whenever it got hard you found yourself cursing the man who ordered it because truly, why did he need such an absurd cake? Alas, you have finished baking everything, now all that is left is for the other bakers to frost it and put it together. You really hope this Yeosang dude likes this cake. And will actually pay for it. It would be unfortunate if he didn’t.

As you and Dina move to leave the kitchen, you bump into the table and one of the pieces falls on the floor. You gasp and look at Dina with fear in your eyes, which has replaced the sleepiness you were feeling prior. Your legs begin to give out, and you begin to hyperventilate, and your heart is beating so fast that you fear it may fall out of your chest.

“Hey lovie, you’re okay, listen to my voice,” Dina says in a hope to calm you down.

“I fu-fuc-fucked it all up Dina. I’m going to g-get fired, and I can’t get fi-fired,” you choke out, stuttering on your words as spit begins to still in your throat. Dina rubs your back and engulfs you in a hug, making sure that the fluorescent lights of the room are out of your line of vision.

“Hey, I know it is frustrating, but mistakes happen. And what fell on the ground was sphere shaped, no one will be mad at that for falling. There is a reason why no one orders sphere shaped cakes,” Dina coos into your ear softly, still rubbing your back, “If anything, we should blame the man who ordered the cake. What was his name? Oh right, Kang Yeosang. It’s all his fault. Big ass cake for a small ass bakery shop,” Dina mocks, causing you to laugh into her chest.

“I’m sorry Dina,” you mumble, having calmed down.

Dina playfully turns her head, “Nothing to be sorry for lovie, now I’ll go tell the owner, and you can put in four more sheets of vanilla batter in the oven. The other bakers don’t even get here until another hour, it’ll be okay,” Dina says soft but clearly before leaving the room.

The owner wasn’t mad, but made a mental note to put the spheres into a container so they wouldn’t fall again. The cakes are ready before you and Dina leave for the day, so you take them out of the oven so they can cool before leaving with Dina after clocking out. You and Dina walk together with your arms interlocked on your way home, ready for the sleep that you are about to have.

“I miss Dina,” you sigh to yourself. The memory is a fond one and it helped you calm down after your panic attack. You haven’t had one in a while, but when you did, Poppy was the one who helped you through it. Now, she caused it. But you don’t dwell on the thought for too long, you know you’re already late to your assignment. You just wish you knew what you did wrong.

—

The kids appear to be sleeping soundly in their beds. “It should be a good night,” you think to yourself before situating yourself next to the toddler. You opt to sit on the floor and just play with his hair instead of laying with him, you hope this will keep his nightmares at bay just as well.

You wonder if he will come again tonight. You sigh and roll your eyes to yourself, still not knowing what name to put with that man you saw four years ago. “Why can’t I just know his name?,” you mumble to yourself quietly. And like he knew your thoughts and could hear that whisper the scent of cinnamon began to fill your nostrils. You close your eyes and try to ignore it. It is hard, the scent has gotten strong in a short amount of time. You wonder if the kids can smell it? Surely, they have to. After a minute or so, you’re hoping that he — or at least the scent, will go away. The noise of poking at the window startles you, causing you to look that way. The same man from all those years ago is situated on the other side, you meet his gaze, and he smiles cheekily at you.

“Come see me Cherry, it’s been a while,” he urged. You think about it, you have been wanting to know more about him, but you aren’t supposed to speak to him. You could call Poppy and tell her a King of Hell has found you again, but she definitely does not want to talk you right now. “Please, Cherry,” the man begs, asking again. You get up and walk to the window, being mere inches away from the man, the only thing separating you was glass that you knew he could break if he really wanted to. You look at him, but he doesn’t make eye contact, he’s studying you, taking in your features after all these years.

You can see he is about to speak, about to ask you a question and fear suddenly envelops you. He pokes at the window to get your attention, nodding his head to the side to ask you what’s wrong. You break the eye contact suddenly feeling embarrassed. “Hey Cherry, let me—,” you shut the curtains in his face before he can finish his statement, “Come on,” the man shouts in shock. The man’s reaction causes you to laugh, and you can’t seem to control your laughter either, replaying what you think his face would’ve looked like in your mind. “Cherry, you think this funny, but I have been waiting to see you for years,” the man stumbles over his words, obviously shocked that you closed the curtains in his face. “So you can come over to see me, but you can’t speak?,” the man inquires, hoping that you will answer. He doesn’t know that you’ve already situated yourself back with the sleeping toddler, but his continues efforts to converse with you do make you chuckle. “Okay you may not answer me, but I’m not leaving,” he says one last time before going silent.

He stays true to his word, the longer the night goes the more sparse his attempts at talking to you are. He does, in fact, not leave, the smell of cinnamon fills your nostrils until you transport yourself back to Heaven. He doesn’t even leave when you pray over the children throughout the night, he was one persistent Demon.

—

Once you are back in Heaven, you go straight to your room to get ready for your shower. You don’t expect to see Poppy, and you are correct. She isn’t there and neither are her things. Not even your bed. You contemplate being sad for a second, but it isn’t worth it. You shrug at the sight before going to the showers to wash away the smell of cinnamon that you know lingers on your skin.

Once you enter the showers, there are only two open. One next to Poppy and another next to another Angel who you do not know the name of. You had always showered next to Poppy because you aren’t allowed to be friends with any other Angels, but if she can be petty, then so can you. You walk right past Poppy, and you can feel her eyes on you, but you don’t pay her any mind. ‘What are you doing, Blossom,’ the nerve she has, speaking through to you through your bond. You don’t reply or give any indication that you even heard the thought, continuing to wash your hair and your body quickly. Once you are finished, you walk back to your room. You’ve decided to bring your Bible and your cross with you to prayer today. Your cross to squeeze in your hand and the Bible to remind you that you are, in fact, in a prayer hall.

You walk to the prayer hall, taking your normal spot. You actually try to pray with everyone else today because if you don’t, you think you may blow up. ‘Blossom,’ you hear through your bond with Poppy. It takes everything in you to not whip your head around and look in your direction, but you don’t. You keep your composure in the prayer hall, you hope that prayer is done soon because you feel like you need to scream into the void of the Earth. ‘Angel Blossom to you, only speak to me if it is important,’ you reply through your bond.

Once the prayer ends you book it straight to your room, you definitely need to scream into the pillow. Once you enter your room and shut your door, it is being reopened just moments later. Poppy is standing in the doorway, where she stays for a few seconds before fully coming in and closing the door behind her. “We have to talk,” Poppy exclaims, taking a few steps towards you.

“No fucking shit, Poppy. Of course, we have to talk,” you bite back, venom lacing your voice.

“You don’t curse in Heaven, Angel,” Poppy replies, her forehead creasing with anger.

“And you’re in Heaven too and that hasn’t stopped you from acting like an asshole, so that’s that, Poppy. Nice talk,”

“Don’t be like that,” Poppy replies, her face having became softer in the past few seconds.

“Don’t be like what? Be forced to be someone’s friend that someone isn’t allowed to have more friends besides you. Hmmm.. What else? Oh! Out of nowhere, stop talking to them and move out of your shared room for the past few years in less than twenty-four hours after ignoring them! Yes, let’s not be like that, Poppy,” you hiss, not caring for who could hear you at that moment.

“You got too comfortable, and my rank increased. I had to move,” Poppy says, glancing at the floor.

“Too comfortable? I live uncomfortably in here,” you whisper this, just loud enough for Poppy to hear.

“I’m sorry. We still have our bond, so call if you need. I couldn’t answer today due to being in a meeting, but don’t call for me unless it is urgent. And for God’s sake, tell that Demon to leave you alone. Don’t fall because of him,” Poppy says with urgency in her voice.

“You weren’t in a meeting. I saw you leave. Don’t lie to me, and what Demon are you talking about” you question Poppy.

“Don’t play stupid, everyone can smell his scent on you. He’s the King of Hell for crying out loud, his scent lingers even if you don’t touch him. And I needed to go to an important meeting, excuse me for having misspoke,” Poppy retorts.

“Whatever Poppy. Maybe if you actually talked to me before assuming stuff you would know I haven’t talked to nor felt that Demon. The reason I smelled like cinnamon today was because the kids mother made a homemade cinnamon inspired dish and their father got mad, and he threw them at the kids because the two youngest started to cry,” you respond, the lie easily falling from your lips. You glance at Poppy, and she is believing it. “And I stepped in front of them so they would have time to move out of the way so they wouldn’t get burned by the hot food. Of course, it still went through me, but it distorted time just enough to give them enough time to get out of the way. So excuse me for doing my job as a Guardian Angel, Poppy. You can tell anyone that story who doubts me. They know just as well as you do that Earthly scents linger. So stop projecting your worries onto me, I can handle myself,” you say to Poppy in a mocking tone, laughing to yourself as you speak.

“You can handle yourself so well, very funny coming from the one who killed themselves,” Poppy hissed.

“Get out,” you shout at the Angel before throwing the wooden cross in your hand at her, she teleported just in time to not get hit by the cross. You aren’t even sad at her statement, but just angry. You feel betrayed, she knew how much that fact about yourself haunted you, but she used it against you in a moment of anger anyway. If you knew better you would say that wasn’t her at all.

—

During your leisure time between assignments you didn’t have to stay in Heaven. You opted to do so because of the dangers that you had been warned of, but now you don’t really care. So you decide to go out to Earth during your spare time, albeit you find yourself on the peer. You lean against the new wood that was used to fix what you broke all those years ago.

“Cherry,” after hearing the nickname that you have come a bit to accustomed to when you ventured down to the Earth, you whip your head around towards the voice. The man leans against the peer with you, his body is turned towards you and not the water. You look back out the water instead of answering him, taking in the smell of the sea. “Still not talking to me pretty?,” questioning you softly.

“I would, but you’re a bit mean,” you exclaim, still not moving your gaze towards him.

“I am not!,” he says in a surprised tone, which makes you look at him. You giggle at his reaction, his mouth opened in shock at your statement. He definitely was offended.

“A King of Hell isn’t mean? I should talk to the other seven to let them know you aren’t doing your duty of being a big bad wolf?,” he rolls his eyes at you dramatically, turning to look at the water.

“Okay now you know that is not what I meant,” he retorts.

“How else was I supposed to take it then?,”

“I am not mean to you my little cherry blossom,”

“I feel flattered,” you say sarcastically

“You should,” the man says before taking a couple of steps, “what are you even doing down at Earth when you aren’t on assignment?,”

“It isn’t forbidden for me to come down to Earth during my free time you know?,”

“Yes, I know. But it is odd, coming to this space in specific,”

You know why it is odd, the peer is empty when it would normally be full of people. “How come?,”

“You really don’t know?,” he questions you. You shake your head no to him in response.

“A few years back, someone drove off the peer. The city fixed it but no one ever really comes besides paranormal investigators and teenagers who decide it’s cute to do a Ouija board,” the man explains.

“That’s so sad,” you say sorrowfully, “Does that person ever answer their calls? You know the teenagers and paranormal investigators?,”

“No,” he sighs, “they were always an enigma,”

His words pique your interest, you had never really talked about the surroundings of your death before. “How so? If you don’t mind me asking, of course,” You question.

“Well to me, they were an enigma from the start. I wanted to see the body because when someone dies they have a marking that shows if their soul went to Heaven or Hell. For Hell, it’ll have that marking with a number, the number showing which ruler you spend eternity with,” he pauses to look down at the ocean, “the person who killed themselves had the marking of Hell with an infinity sign and the sign of Heaven,”

The revelation that he makes to you makes the blood in your body run cold. You’re glad that he was not looking at you, and you were not looking at him because the look on your face would have given you away instantly.

“That is really strange, did you try looking for them?” you question, thankful that the anxiety you felt could not be shown in your voice.

“We never tried, Heaven is quick to come to find the people who are meant to go there. I just wonder what they said when they saw the symbol of Hell with an infinity sign next to us. None of us Kings could ever figure out what that meant,” he sighs, “Did you ever see them?,” he questions.

“No, if I’m being honest I don’t think any Angel has,” they definitely haven’t, no one knows your true story. “But for something like that, I don’t think it’d be made known,”

“You’re right. They have a memorial plaque at the entrance of the peer. Did you see it?,”

“No,”

The man gestures you to follow him down the peer towards the entrance. The plaque has a picture that you and Dina had taken together a couple of months before your death’s, both of your names, with a simple “Rest Easily” engraved on it as well.

“I thought there was only one person who passed away in this tragedy?,” you ask while looking at the plaque.

“There was only one, but both of them died that night. They were best friends. The dispatch call was made public, I just don’t think they could live without her,” his words sting, but they hold true. “You know, their dad got on the television crying over their death,” he states, voice having now gone monotone.

What the Hell. What in the actual Hell. “I just think that, if you’re a good dad, your child wouldn’t disown you, you know?,” He looks at you after he stops talking.

“I agree, did he say they didn’t talk?” you question.

“Yes, the whole interview was a bit bizarre. I just know Hongjoong will be the one dealing with him once he dies,” he grumbled.

You look up at him, a bit confused about what he means by the name. Who is Hongjoong?

“Hongjoong is the King of Kings when it comes to Hell. Although seven of the eight of us rule over specific sins, he rules over them all. He’s the most important one,” You nod at his explanation, deciding not to ask more questions. He will tell you if he'd like.

“Where did she go?,” your curiosity getting the better of you once you focus back on the plaque.

“Her death was something different, difficult to explain. But let’s not talk about it,”

This saddens you, he wouldn’t have a problem telling you she went to Hell, so you don’t understand why he is being so secretive now.

“May I ask you a question, Mr. King of Hell?,” He chuckles at the name you gave him, but nods at you nonetheless.

“Still don’t know my name?,” he asks, and you nod, looking away as the embarrassment creeps up on your cheeks.

“Can you take me to where she is buried?,”

“Which one?,”

You weren’t expecting him to ask that question. “Dina,”

“Yes, we’ll have to walk through since I cannot teleport you there,”

“You’re right about that, I’d have nowhere to go if I became a fallen Angel,” you joke.

“You’d come to Hell with me,” he remarked like it was obvious.

The rest of the walk is spent in silence until you come upon a cemetery. Once you get to her grave, your body almost becomes too much for your feet to handle. You hold your composure, you really wish the Demon wasn’t with you right now so you could cry.

“I don’t feel anything,” you whispered. You sit down at her grave, before your feet end up failing you.

The Demon sits down next to you, but far enough away that you wouldn’t be in danger of touching him. “You don’t usually feel anything, Cherry,” acknowledging what you whispered to yourself.

You get up quickly, the feeling of the cemetery becoming too overwhelming. “I need to go, thank you for today,” you muttered quickly before transporting yourself to back to Heaven. You didn’t even give him a chance to speak back, but you really didn’t feel like crying in front of a Demon today.

—

You arrived in Heaven right on time, the orchestra having started mere moments after transporting into your room. You didn’t realize how long you had been out, but at least you weren’t late. You do your usual routine, no Poppy in site. Not that you really cared too much, but you still looked for the familiarity. She also hasn’t graced the prayer hall with her presence either, which is odd.

If you’re being honest, you really do miss Poppy. Being bonded with her means that you miss her subconsciously, as she to you.

“Everyone listen up,” Angel Zen announces, “I want to make sure everyone is paying attention today as God has a message that, I think, would be crucial for some of you to hear,” he makes eye contact with you as he says it which causes chills to run up your spine.

“Everything you do, God knows. Every conversation you have, God hears. Everything you feel, God feels. Everything you see, God sees as well. Every single Angel in this room is privileged to be an Angel. Don’t forget it. Don’t be reckless,” Angel Zen commanded.

The rest of the prayer goes by as normal, but you can’t shake that feeling that you get when you think about the words that Angel Zen said to begin the prayer. It’s a reality check, you can’t keep doing what you are doing. After finding out the information that you did earlier, you truly think you’d be fucked. The symbol of Hell with an infinity sign? You’d surely be in the deepest pits of Hell right now if it weren’t for your Guardian Angel.

Once the prayer ends, you walk to your room to retrieve your cross and your Bible to take with you on assignment, you can’t take any more risks with that Demon. Although you’re nervous, you have a job to do.

—

Once you arrive at your assignment, you find the baby is awake. You have always had a soft spot for kids, so you are grateful that you are a Guardian Angel for them. You don’t want the baby to cry, so you do your best to help the baby girl fall asleep quickly.

The knocks on the window shock you, almost causing you to scream. Your energy is enough to wake the kids up if you are not calm, so it is really irritating when that Demon scares you. Seriously, you have to ask him what he did with his scent. You didn’t smell it when he was with you earlier. At least you knew he was coming then. You ignore it, but his knocks do not pause. Eventually, you walk up to the window.

“Go away,” you ordered, trying your best to sound serious.

“Let me in,” he requested.

“No,”

“After everything I did for you today?,” he asked with a pout.

You hate that he was right, he did a lot for you today. But you did bring a cross and a Bible… so maybe he can’t come near you anyway. You flash the Bible and the cross at him, to which he rolls his eyes. Now that was rude, you thought to yourself.

“That doesn’t bother me. I’m not a vampire,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Fine, come in,” you mutter under your breath, instantly he is in the room with you. He smirks at you after getting his way.

“What are their names?,”

“The kids? I’m not telling you,” you stated.

“And why not?,”

“Because you still haven’t told me yours,”

“Wow, you would think they would’ve told you our names, or at least mine after I scared the living daylights out of your friend,”

“You’re telling me,”

“Take a guess, you could get it right,”

“Hmm… You want to know what you look like?,”

“Yes,”

“You look like a buffoon,”

“That’s mean,”

“You asked me to guess,”

“You’re not like any Angel I’ve ever met Cherry,”

“For my sake, please don’t elaborate,”

“I won’t,”

For a while, the two of you don’t continue the conversation. You sit in the silence for a while, you hold the hand of the toddler while the Demon sits by the crib, watching you.

“Which sin do you think I rule over?,” the Demon asks.

“Well, you said that all of you don’t really come out often, but out of the seven sins it would make the most sense for gluttony and lust to come to Earth. And you’re a bit of a flirt, so I’d say you rule over lust,” you answered, not expecting to be correct. One thing you have learned over the years is that not everything is as it seems.

“Correct,” he said happily.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting to be right,”

“You’re smart Cherry,”

His compliment makes you blush, and you’re glad that he doesn’t tease you. “Their names are Eric, Sebastian, and Ariel. Like The Little Mermaid,” you say to distract from your nervousness

“It fits them perfectly, don’t you think?,” he questions, looking back at the crib.

“Yes,” you whispered.

“My name is Wooyoung,” his voice trembled as he spoke, like he was afraid that his name would steer you away. His name was beautiful, and you couldn’t hide the grin that plastered your face once he told you his name.

“You have a beautiful name,” you reassure him.

“Are you afraid to say it?,” Wooyoung quips.

“If I say it three times will you show up?,”

“No,” the man chuckles, “I can show up when you say it once, if you say it with the intent of wanting me to show up,” Wooyoung informs you.

“That is nice to know, no one really tells me anything,”

“Do they really keep Angels ignorant on Hell and its beings?,” Wooyoung questions.

“Yes, at least me,” you tell him, not caring about the cons of doing so.

“May I ask you a question Cherry?,”

“Yes,”

“Why do they keep you ignorant, if they know a King of Hell is out to get you?,”

“They probably want you to take me away,” you say before realizing the words that have fallen from your mouth. You put your hand over your mouth like it would’ve taken back what you said, but it wouldn’t. The tears fall from your eyes before you can stop them.

“Cherry, please don’t cry. Why would you think Heaven doesn’t want one of its Angels?,” he says, trying to comfort you.

“I can’t say,” you whisper, looking up at the man who is now a lot closer to you than he previously was. “I’ve already told you too much,”

“You can tell me anything and everything,”

“I can’t,”

“Why can’t you?,”

“Because, you’re a King of Hell, and I’m a Guardian Angel. That isn’t a good combination,”

“It doesn’t have to be that way,”

“What do you want with me anyway,”

“Do you remember what I told you the first time we met,”

“That you were searching for the love of your life?,”

“Yes, what does that have to do with me Wooyoung?,”

“Just listen to me, the eight other Kings and I are destined to have the same lover,”

“You are all dating each other?,”

“No, we are all destined to be with the same person,”

“Like a poly relationship?,”

“Yes,”

“So eight people dating one person?,”

“Yes, Cherry,”

“Well I am happy for you, but I’m still confused on how I am involved, do you need me to help you look for them? I figured you’d have enough people who’d be willing to do that for you anyway,” you scoff.

“Cherry, it’s you,” his words leave you baffled. There is no way you are a soulmate to a King of Hell, let alone eight.

“Get out,” you hiss.

“Let me explain,”

“Get out,”

“If you wish, but I’ll be near, you know that,”

“Get out,”

—“Cherry, please don’t cry. Why would you think Heaven doesn’t want one of its Angels?,” he says, trying to comfort you.

“I can’t say,” you whisper, looking up at the man who is now a lot closer to you than he previously was. “I’ve already told you too much,”

“You can tell me anything and everything,”

“I can’t,”

“Why can’t you?,”

“Because, you’re a King of Hell, and I’m a Guardian Angel. That isn’t a good combination,”

“It doesn’t have to be that way,”

“What do you want with me anyway,”

“Do you remember what I told you the first time we met,”

“That you were searching for the love of your life?,”

“Yes, what does that have to do with me Wooyoung?,”

“Just listen to me, the eight other Kings and I are destined to have the same lover,”

“You are all dating each other?,”

“No, we are all destined to be with the same person,”

“Like a poly relationship?,”

“Yes,”

“So eight people dating one person?,”

“Yes, Cherry,”

“Well I am happy for you, but I’m still confused on how I am involved, do you need me to help you look for them? I figured you’d have enough people who’d be willing to do that for you anyway,” you scoff.

“Cherry, it’s you,” his words leave you baffled. There is no way you are a soulmate to a King of Hell, let alone eight.

“Get out,” you hiss.

“Let me explain,”

“Get out,”

“If you wish, but I’ll be near, you know that,”

“Get out,”

—

It’s been an hour or so since you kicked the man out, and you should feel bad. You just couldn’t grasp how he came to that realization. He didn’t know you and you didn’t know him. You haven’t even known his name for a full day yet, and he’s telling you that you’re destined to be the soulmate of eight Demons? As a Guardian Angel? He is out of his mind.

You begin to cry out of frustration, you knew his interest in you was weird, but you didn’t expect this. You are glad he found you when you were an Angel and not a human because had he found you earlier, he likely wouldn’t have hesitated to take you back to Hell.

He surely didn’t think it through, he could end up hating you. Or the other Kings. Then what? Do they kill you? Torture you for eternity? For someone as old as him he should know better. He should have known you would never go with him.

As soon as the sun comes up, you know it’s time for you to go back. You hope he will leave you alone, and you hope to put this behind you.

—

As soon as you reach Heaven, you go to find Angel Zen. As much as you hated asking for help, you knew you needed his. You go to the prayer hall, not even bothering to shower yet. You see him talking to another Angel towards the front of the prayer hall.

“Angel Zen, I need your help,” you shout, causing the other Angel to run off somewhere.

“Why are you in here unbathed?,”

“I apologize, but I need your help,”

“What do you need?,”

“I need a new assignment, I need something else to do, please believe me,”

“Why is that?,”

“Please, I have already lost everything,”

“Once you start playing with fire, you need to learn how to hose yourself off,”

You fall to your knees as sobs begin to fall down your mouth, you didn’t know what else to do. You don’t know how to save yourself, you’re alone in this battle.

“I will see what I can do, it is challenging to find an Angel to take your spot. Every Angel has its purpose. Angels fall every day, so it makes it harder. But you are strong, resisting lust’s charm. I will try since you are such a strong little Angel. But next time, don’t mess with something that you know you can’t handle,”

Relief fills your being as you hear that Angel Zen will help you. Although he was still his same unkind self, he was willing to help you. A human quality of stubbornness helped you in a time of need, which you are grateful.

“Now go shower. Never come in the prayer hall with the smell of Earth on you ever again,” Angel Zen commands as he points to the exit of the prayer hall. You are out instantly, going straight to get your clothes and going to the showers. You wash off the contents of the day before going back to the prayer hall with your Bible in hand.

Once you enter the prayer hall, you sit down in your assigned spot. You begin to read the Bible to pass the time before the actual prayer starts. You have to become more serious with this — more believing. Or Angel Zen’s help would have been in vain. If anything, you know when to be grateful. Even though you are sure that your relationship with Poppy is irreparable, her faith in God is admirable as an Angel. You aspire to believe in the way she does, maybe if you did you wouldn’t have gotten in this mess at all.

Once the prayer ends, you feel empty. Poppy is still nowhere to be seen and instead of her walking up to you, it is Angel Zen.

“I have been able to find a replacement but not for tonight. Can you handle one more night on your assignment?,” Angel Zen questions.

“Yes, sir, I can handle one more night on assignment,” you answer honestly.

“Okay. Don’t let the Demon become any of the wiser. Come to me after you finish the assignment,”

“Yes sir,”

After your conversation with Angel Zen, you go straight to your room to recuperate. Perhaps now, you can become more focused on what is more important. Maybe you can see Poppy. But at least you know that after tonight, you will no longer have to see that Demon again.

tags:

@multifictionx @pre1ttyies @hecateslittlewitchling @adorawritesalot @unlikelysublimekryptonite @loumin908 @kirbrary @sunasmoke22 @ylak @yoonshiiu

[vanya-evergreen]

How to remember (Chapter 4)

Relationship: Batfam x reader (platonic)

Summary: At the age of 11, you woke up in an other world without any guidance and all the money you once lacked. You were left with only your memories and your other memories.

You tired to remember, their life, but it seemed like they didn't want you too. So when trying to navigate the intricate sides of an elite school, but you always got in trouble when it came to faces and names.

Cw: panic attack

No use of Y/n

Wc: 9.5k

Masterlist

< Prev

A/n (long, sorry)- to start off sorry this took so long< I mean to have this done weeks ago but here you go.

So i did my first edits on the first Chapters, nothing major in the first 2 chapter because I am overall happy with them, no changes to the prologue but the 3rd chapter needed a major face lift. I would take break in between periods of writing it so it was rough, the part with Damian and Bruce didn't change but i changed how to reader acts, nothing major, just trying to them line up more with chapters 1 and 2.

I added a bit of a 'plan' because i feel like I am pushing the gala trope too early but can't really change that now . Also, while the reader does still own a motorcycle, they no longer rode it to party (much to my despair). I just felt like it was out of nowhere. So i added a scene with Percy and Val in the car. (Yay character dynamics!)

If there is feedback that you wish to give, please feel free to. I am always willing to listen.

Tim smiles at the lady and she lets him past with no problem. He turns back to Val and Percy  “Do you not have an invite Percy?” he chastises them “If only you were here with someone.” You could hear his evil glint in his eyes.  Percy's arm is tense and shaking. Val tightly grips their wrist, shakes his head, even if he, also, wants to wipe the floor with his face. You remain in your little corner, while they safely guard you. You run your hands over your clothes feeling for the letter you placed in one of  your pockets earlier. 

You found it quickly, but you weren't sure how to go about getting into the Party. You could wait for Tim to leave, but that might defeat the entire reason why you are here. Which was no longer about why you had so many invites but why the Wayne's even knew you to begin with. Think back to you know of Gala’s from your friends, it's likely this is the only opportunity to speak to Tim. You can't waste this opportunity.

“Percy, Val.” Percy and Val turn around to you holding up the letter. You have to go through them, as they didn't move aside for you  “Please excuse them, they are my company for tonight and can’t seem to stop with the rushing” You hand the woman the letter.

She smiles politely and takes the invite from you. You swiftly glance back to Val and Percy. Percy is biting their nails, looking down at their feet; while Val is smiling awkwardly, making eye contact with you.trying to get them to stop. You look back forward to the woman. She stiffens while she reads the letter; she looks up from the letter, making direct eye contact with you. She looks away before handing back the invite to you. You take the letter and put it away.

“Welcome, Mx. ___, we have been expecting your for a long time.” she smiles wider than she had for Tim, it seemed more fearful. You could also most see a sweat droplet form as you continue to watch her. “We could not be more delighted then to have you here to with us.” she steps off to the side and letting all of you off the elevator into the ballroom “I hope you find all of the amenities available to you tonight to be up to your standards.”

 The ballroom is entirely made up of marble with floor to ceiling windows that show off a prime view of Lady Gotham, and the shining lights from below. You can't help but look up at the several lavish chandeliers that help light up the ballroom with soft lights. As if the lights from the surrounding building weren't enough. The room was filled with soft string music from one corner and the chatter of all the people dressed to the nines collected in groups scattered across the ballroom. This a brilliant display of the the affluence that had blessed few families back in the 1800’s, and how even fewer were able to hold on to it.

It is disgusting to you, or rather the other you.

Your gawking, and internal spiral, is cut short when you feel a staring directed at you. Tim’s mouth  is slightly agape and his eyes look at you like they are trying for read for a speific type of reaction from you. You didn’t really have a reaction, just blinking rapidly while staring at him. He looks like he is trying to formulate words, but you somehow broke his brain. Both of you re stuck like this for too long, You give him a nod and small smile

He seems to quickly gather himself, before speaking  “Hello, ___. It's been… a while ” He sound like he is in a rush as he moves towards you with his hand slightly extended. 

You reach your hand out to shake his, but Percy grabs your arm and runs off with you as Val follows behind. You try to stop and look back at Tim, but Val pushes you along. Percy and Val stop at one of the many tables for food and drink set up. You tear your arm away from Percy, taking a few steps back from them.

“What was that?” You breathe out exasperated. Percy starts biting their nails once again, Val doesn’t even look at you. “What was that?” You repeat louder. You place a hand on the table to lean on, and you try to catch a thought as your mind runs endlessly.

“Listen, you need to avoid the Waynes.” Percy urges you,  “it’s only going to make trouble for you-” Percy gets closer to you, slowly stretching out their hands to your face. 

You flinch back slightly,“No,” You hit their hands away, and reestablish the distance between you and them. You gazed at Percy in incredulity, they know better.

“What?” Percy face drops. You never directly snapped at Percy before, you alway were quick with your words when it comes to them.

“No, I am not going to listen to your bullshit right now.” You want to scream and destroy everything here, “I need answers, not some new rule for me to follow,” and yet you can’t make yourself move. “Please, Percy.” Your voice falls quite.

Percy tenses their shoulder, then lets them fall “You knew them vaguely when you were younger.” They are trying to hide their unease of answering in their voice, their face remains as stoic as ever.  “They were never that close to you in your life, they were just family friends if anything. You never really got along with his kids, they were all older than you for the most part.” 

“Not that close with them.” You repeat. Lies, you hate lies, yet you use them alot. ”Why did I get, not one, but serval invitation from the Waynes for this gala, for this gala then? The last being a letter implying I have been getting invitations for years.” You get closer to Percy, to where you are face to face. You look directly into their eyes, they don’t keep eye contact and look down to the ground. 

God, you are the biggest hypocrite to every exists.

“___, I am sure Percy didn’t take them, and you have a large pile of mail on the table. How about we go through that before we start throwing accusation everywhere.” Val steps between you and them. You look up at the up him and raise an eyebrow.. “Please?”

“Fine.” You sigh, “ but I don’t want to see you until I come to find you. Do you understand?  ” You maintain eye contact making him hesitantly nod under the pressure.

“Yes we understand.” He looks down to ground break the eye contact. You push your way  past Val and look at Percy from the corner of your eye as you continue to walk away. They are staring blankly into Val’s back, they make no effort to dissuade you.

Tim takes a long sip from his glass as he grimaces at the the Bat signal plastered over the clouds. Damit. Everyone in the Batman inc. knew that there is nothing worst than giving up a night of patrol for a Gala. This also means that if the signal goes off and Bruce Wayne is conveniently late to said gala, then it’s better not to expected him at all. Tim is one of the four Wayne representative that are already here. The other three have no… skill in talking business to these, admittedly condescending, people. Tim’s already wearing night only seems to be trying to test how much he can take. 

He had spent most of his night talking to very conceded people, most are nearly twice his age. He couldn’t stand most of the conversation. All the while, your mere present had ripped a new hole in barely intact his mind. He wishes that he had focus quicker when he first saw you so that maybe he could have said more than your name but you got pulled away. He has been looking for you as he converses in the crowd. He wasn’t sure what he would say, but he feels like he needs to say something. He never had this had of a time finding you before this, when you and him were younger he always found his eye drawn to little child who had a thousand yard stare.

Now, he definitely will not be able to find you, too much was on his plate now with some villain deciding to be a burden tonight. Even if he did, who’s to say that Percy or the other person would let him talk to you. He grabs another two glass of champagne off of a platter being carried by a passing waiter. He unceremoniously downs the first one, and places it off the side before taking a long slip of the other one.

“Stop right there,” He finishes off the last of his champagne and slams his glass on the table beside him breaking it causing Cassandra to stop and startling Duke and Stephanie. “Seriously, sneaking off?” He drags his eye to look at them.

“Can you blame us?” Steph shrugs “You would do the same thing if you weren’t one of the ‘Front cover’ Waynes” The Waynes were painfully aware of the media’s a favoritism to some of the members of the Wayne family. They didn’t care much for it.

“You’re right.” Tim agrees, nodding his head “I would, still you three are here already and while some won’t notice. There is definitely someone who will notice.” and by someone they mean the media. 

“Fuck,” Duke throws his head back in frustration “Why do we even have to be here? We aren’t really doing anything for the business.” Steph and Cass eagerly nod their heads. “I mean would they really miss us that much?”

“Yeah, I am not even a wayne to begin with.” Steph points out. “Technically I have no obligation to the family to be here.” Steph folds her arms with a proud smirk on her face. “I am only a family friend who over stays their welcome.”

“ We are heroes, we shouldn’t have be stuck here.” Cass calmly argues “We need to be out there save lives, we have an obligation.” Tim sighs and pinches his noses bridge, normally Bruce would deal with theses excuses, but he isn’t here.

“Someone will notice, we have already had a few close calls and don’t want anymore and Steph you’re right.” Duke looks aways from TimSteph turns to leave but is stopped as Tim continues “But you love to claim to be a wayne when it’s convenient to you and you also love to take things from out of the Wayne’s supplies.” Steph’s smirk falls into a defeated glare at Tim “Cass, we all know how you have snuck out of Gala’s before, but you are alway with theses two, and if you suddenly weren’t seen with them. Well, it would cause for people to talk.” Cass only sighs.

“Why do you have be right?” Steph complains as she looks over the food on the table. “With Bruce he is alway to occupied to watch all of us.” she picks up one of the sweets and places it in her mouth.

“What are we meant to do now?” Duke and Cass join Steph around the table, they all take some of the snack and eat them. “Because we are stuck here.” Tim rolls his eyes at their comments, he turns to the crowd. He sweeps his eyes a cross the crowd, until he see two familiar people stand off away from everyone. It was percy and their boyfriend, or thats what he assumed him to be seeing as he didn’t know him. He got an idea.

He learn that it was you in the viral video early on the red carpet. He vaguely remembers seeing Duke watching your viral video this morning, and now your ‘bodyguards’ are standing off on the sidelines. You are walking around alone more than likely. He has 3 people that need entertainment. “Well if you want something to do, I heard the person from the viral video of last night is here. Their name is ___” Duke and Steph perk up, Cass is still eating.

“Seriously?” Duke says with a grin. Steph is intensely listening as the wait for tim to reconfirm.

“Yep, saw them early on the red carpet, i think i used to know them when we were younger” Tim smiles to himself. “Maybe you should go try to find them.” Tim didn’t even finish his sentence before Duke takes off into the crowd followed by Steph dragging Cass along with them.

Maybe tonight won’t be as dreadful as it was going.

FSHHHHHHHHH

You bring the water up face and let it wash over you face as you stand up to be greeted by you reflection. Your outfit is messed up along with your hair. Your search for answers and Waynes has been put on pause as you had spent most of you time in the bathroom, avoiding a mental break down. You have been switching between trying to swallow your emotions and just letting yourself feel the emotions of the memories. You really wish you understand why the gala makes you feel so vexed, then you could actually do something productive with it. You run you hand back under the water quickly and run you hand back into you hair to smooth it out.

Turning off the sink you reach for a towel that was hanging next to you, with it you gentle pat your face and neck dry. You are surprised by how nice this bathroom was, but yet again it was elite gala, maybe it was just expected here. You dry you hands, and neatly fold the towel placing it back where you found it. You return to looking in the mirror, push a few hair back and re-adjust you outfit so that it look mostly presentable. You take out you phone to check the time, 9:21 pm.   You is caught by an incoming notification. You had gotten at 10 notification from your new apps in the past five minutes.

 You only read the first notification, “The Gotham Gazette- The person behind viral video’ You quickly swipe away the notification, you don’t want to deal with this again. You feel the anxiety slowly eat away at your mental clarity. You already spent forty minutes in the bathroom, you sigh before turing off and putting your phone back.  Maybe, you should just go find Val and Percy to get out of here with. You glance over your appearance one more time before walking to the door, unlocking it and walking out. You close the door behind you and look down the hallway when you notice someone. You are sent in a trans when you look next to the door to see Wynn crouching down next to the door.

“Why the hell were you in-” Wynn begins to speak as they get up, stopping when they see you standing still as you stare at them “___?” they sign,You continue to stare at them “Stop staring you are creeping me now.” They push your arm softly, you finally snap out of your trance as you rush in to  hug them. 

“Wynn!” You huff out almost shedding a tear. “Wynn.” You repeat much more calm, you are so glad that you finally found a familiar face that you weren’t mad with. They are quick to hug you back, before you pull away slightly retracting you arm from around them. “Wait you’re speaking?” you sign. “I thought you had a hard time speaking recently.”

“I am wearing my hearing aids” they smile, as they sign “so I can recognize the words I am saying better, almost like before I lost my hearing.” 

“That’s great.” you say while signing almost a little to quickly “But why are you wearing them, thought they made you uncomfortable?” You knew how much Wynn disliked their Hearing aid. They didn’t help much when they first lost their hearing 3 years ago; it was better now but they really didn’t wear they often because they learned how to lip read.

“Yeah, they do, but My sponsor said that I needed to wear them tonight because it’s more convenient to everyone.” Your eyes widen a bit, you never knew Wynn had a sponsor. You knew they went to the school based on a scholarship, but you thought that it was a scholar ship given through the school.

“Is that why you are here tonight? A sponsor?” You are always aware of how well off you are in this world, but sometimes, you forget what it was like living near crime ally, sure you still had the memories of getting scars but you didn’t have the scars to prove it.

Wynn nodded, before looking around. “He can be kinda of a dick.” They signed without saying it out loud. “Don’t even get me started on his wife and their kids. Superiority complex seem to be a generational curse.” You stifle your laughter with you hands. “But what are you doing here? Thought you didn’t know the Waynes.”

“Oh well, turns out I know them, or rather knew them.” You shrug, you had never told you friends that you weren’t form this world, you only told them that you couldn’t remember your life before eleven all that well. “I have getting invitation for year, or thats what I assume. So i came here to talk to them, but Percy said I couldn’t.” 

“Has that ever really stopped you?” Wynn signs, know you almost too well. “It’s almost like and obligation for you to do the opposite of what they say.’

“Yes, but they know something aren’t telling me, so I got angry with them.” Your blood pressure only grew as you continued to think about it. “They don’t even have enough decent to me shit.” You grip your clothes as your hands shake with frustration. Wynn lightly touches your shoulder.

“What about Val, Did he know?” Wynn speaks instead of signing. They squeeze your shoulder, trying to reassure you.

“Maybe, but he tries to play the mediator, like always.” You let go of your clothes and pat Wynns hand on your shoulder. “Hey, maybe since we both haven’t had easy nights, instead of wallowing in your own frustration we should find a place to talk about everything but this gala”

“Thats sounds much better than hiding out in the bathroom.” Wynn give you a lighthearted glare. You just chuckle a bit and look away from them. “Theres a balcony here that no one uses, but it’s on a upper floor.”

“Are we allowed up there?” You look down the hall leading to the bathrooms. “I don’t really know how this works.

“Well it’s fine.” Wynn grabs your arm and pulls you along as they walk down the hall, but they pauses “as long as we don’t get cause by a security.” You silently and slowly turn your head to them. They return you gaze. “No, yes?”

“Fuck it, let’s just take the chance” Wynn let’s go of your arm as you move ahead of them. They quickly catch up to you as you reach the end of the hall. “I will lead,you help me avoid your sponsor and my babysitters.” They nod, as they look around the room keeping an eye out for anyone you should avoid. Wynn follows closely behind you as weave between the circles of people. 

You have been do this with them in school for years when you have the same classes, so it is well practiced. You try to ignore the gossip and the movement of the other people around you ans just focus on getting to the elevator, but you can’t help but here the same name being brought up. Your last name. You were never around a group long enough to get the full context but you will try to remember to either look it up or ask percy when you have your talk with them later. 

Wynn pushes you to left which makes you go deep in to the gala, you look back them. Wynn was side eyeing another guest as they pass by. You turn back face forward only narrowly avoiding running into aa group of other teens. “Sorry, not paying attention.” You look towards the ground, if you are going to do something you might gett in trouble for then

“It’s fine, we weren’t either, so all is good.” You and Wynn stand to the side as you let the group pass. You look back to take a glance at them once they are far enough away, but one of them was still looking at you as they walk away, a girl with short black hair.

You want to look away, but you can’t help feeling like you know her. Maybe not in the way you do with Tim, you know her none the less. You study her appearance, the way she stands, and her facial expression specifically the way she stares at you. You know her for sure, but the way she stares and stands is far more interesting to you. She walks poised and graceful like a well trained ballerina, yet her stare is completely analytical of you. You can’t tell if she possibly also recognized you, like you with her, or if she is trying to predicted what you will do. 

When you take into account possibly of her seeing you as a threat, then in changes how you see her poise and grace. Instead of something beautiful, it’s quick and ridged, like someone trained her to be this way. You can’t tell what she may think, or why she would be staring at you. You feel a draw just to stand there for until you can no longer see her but Wynn nudges you. You break the eye contact with her to check on Wynn.

“Why are you staring? We have a plan, stay focused” Wynn aggressively signs, hitting you with their arms as they sign while pressing their lips together with their brows knitted.. “I can’t have you losing your head in the clouds” they look back into the crowd.

“You are right,” You sign back, only to see them facing away from you. You sigh ”but, i really think i know that girl” You speak lowly, “ She looks to familiar, like i have seen her face on the internet.” 

“You need not to care so much a about someone you might of just seen on the internet.” They shot back, “What does it even matter to you? They are just a random bunch of teenagers in this party probably bored out of their minds like us.”

“It’s because of the way she looks at me.” Wynn glances back to you slowly while arching an eyebrow. “Not like that, She was observing me. Like just fully trying to dissected my entire being or whatever the fuck she was doing.”

“Maybe, she recognized you because you went viral on twitter?” Wynn looks away from you as you kinda just stand there and sputter nonsensical words. “You forgot about that didn’t you?” they giggle. “You should really see a doctor about your memories” they teases you

 “Yeah, i have. Nothing can be done.” Your eyes grow a bit colder, lies. “You knows this, I restate it every time we have the argument”.  You jest, quickly changing your expression, as you look at them while they face away from you. 

“Yeah i know, but think you should get a seconded opinion, it’s be 7 years since you went to any doctors.” Their eyes seem to shaper as they continue to look around the room. “You didn’t even go for you neck injury from last night.” Your hand swiftly moves to cover you bandage, even if it was no use.

“It’s just too much a hassle, you-” Wynn grabs your arm suddenly and almost starts running across the room. You watch as Wynn’s face is twisted with stress and anxiety as you are dragged by them. You finally realized that your friend need you more than your need banter. 

You shift your arms backwards, moving their hand from your arm into your hand; you hold on to them tightly. You pick up speed and eventually past them, once again taking the lead. You and them disregard your original intention of remaining unnoticed as you run right between people, making their head turn to you. You could seeing the elevator opening through peoples’ heads. You startle a passing waiter, almost making them fall but you grab their shirt pulling them upright, before you make the final dash to the elevator with Wynn in tow. 

You push aside the people coming out of the elevator and get in. You press the button for the 74th floor, and then start ra[idly pushing the close door button. You watch through the mostly closed door as a man comes of out the crowds with an annoyed face, making eye contact with you and them. You let go of their hand and hide them behind you, as the door shuts and the elevator starts going up. 

Wynn steps out from behind you, taking a deep breathes, they push back their hair. You gently place a hand on their shoulder while not looking at them or moving closer. They reach up to their ears, you knew what was about to happen. They rip out their hearing aid, almost throwing them against the elevator door. They stop themselves and just put them in a pocket, right as the door opens.

 The door opens to a large, tall hallway, it wasn’t as nearly as opulent as the ballroom, but it was more sleek and timeless with its architecture similar to the older parts of the building. God, how much money did the Waynes have? Wynn grabs your hand before stepping out of the elevator with you. They quietly guide you through the halls. You look into some of the passing offices wand their name plates, but you focus most of you attention of Wynn. You rarely see them like that, it was almost of out character for them, but you had heard stories like this from Percy and your mother. You mom always said she would never let you into a sponsorship no matter what. Some families just didn’t have choice when it comes these opportunities.

Wynn is trying to do what they think will help their family the most, and you can understand that, more than they think. They at first were passive aggressive with you when you met in the 8th grade, they had confessed to you that they thought you were just some rich kid that wanted to play nice to make fun of them. You were probably to positive or you forced the friendship at first, so you could not blame them, but even when they did give you and your other 2 friends a chance they only started to devalue your hard work. One of you guys could find the cure to cancer an they would say that you paid someone. Your achievements were never yours, they were a product of the money you had. That drove you insane.

You had you own faults too, though; by no mean were you a perfect person. You envied them for their family, their strength, and how they didn’t feel the need to give into peoples views of them. You wanted to be friends with them for the very same thing that you envied, you though maybe it could rub off on you. Maybe they would even extend a hand for you, and you could finally have someone who would understand but it turned into a journey just for them to even have a lunch with you. You grew angry, resentful, and tired.

 You are being stuck here, forced to live a life you didn’t choose, and having to hide parts that want to take your angry out on them. You want them to feel what you feel; the pressure on yourself to better fit someone who wasn’t even here. You distained when they complained about their family, or when they would frustrated with you because you ‘wouldn’t get it’. You wanted these problems, you wanted someone else struggles. You wanted to the strength that comes with that, the way they could just brush off situation that would fuck you up for weeks. 

You want to bring them down with you, to take them off of their high horse and force their eyes open to the other shit going on in your world besides the money that wasn’t technically yours to begin with. You knew better then to drag them with you. So you took out you aggression in different ways. Eventually you and them worked out. You never liked how they finally came around to you but, you never regretted it. You examine Wynn, physically they seem fine, mentally less anxious but still stressed, maybe a bit flustered by the situation, but overall they had probably pushed it beside for a later issue.  

“Wynn,” You started in a soft voice “I am sorry.” You know they can’t hear you, but you always wanted to say sorry to them, to your friends in general really. “I am sorry that I can never be honest with you. That I never can really let you near my truth, and for my envy and wishes for you to feel my pain.” You take a deep breath, “I might one day regret getting close to people here, because I know that if I can make it back, I will always crave our friendship.” You didn’t shed a tear, you had already made your choice and mourned your friendship.

You remained silent for the rest of the walk to the balcony, you couldn’t think of anything else but your friends. They really helped you become the person you are, and for better or worse, you love them. You let your mind wander back to the events of the night, the man who was approaching you and wynn, you didn’t recognize him of course, but you know he is someone you want to- no that was far to Violate for someone who hadn’t done anything of equal magnitude. You did want him to feel the wrath of Batman or someone like him. You could probably ask Percy about him, to maybe figure out a scheme to mildly annoy him at least. 

The girl from earlier passes your thoughts briefly, but you are thrown off your thoughts when Wynn stops and lets go of your hand. Glass doors are the first thing you notice as Wynn pushes one of them open. You stand still watching them walk around on the balcony, you quickly follow after them. Pushing the door open, the world opens up the vast night skies and surrounding buildings lighting up the streets. You Continue to look up as you walk up the railing next to Wynn. You look down to the street, they are even smaller than the window in your apartment. You look at Wynn, who was looking at you. 

“What do you think?” They signed as they smile “Isn’t much better than that damn bathroom you were in? You pinch your nose as you smile. 

“Never going to let me live that down are you?” you sign back, Wynn smiles and shakes their head no. You playfully roll your eyes, then stick out your tongue like a child. You and them exchange another smile before a comfortable silences falls between the two of you. You and them look out at the city, letting the troubles of the last hour just wash away slowly. You feel a bit lighter now, you feel like you can breathe again, almost, city air and all. Wynn looks much more relaxed too, they were leaning back while hanging onto the railing. You look back to cityscape, it was alway the same. You look over to the side just on a whim, but image your surprise when you see batman and robin swinging around. 

You keep them in your sight as they move by the balcony right in front of you. You almost could have sworn you saw Robin look at you right as he swung around to the other side of the building. Your mouth drops open as you look down to Wynn. Wynn let out the loudest laugh you had ever heard from them, but you were still too focused on Batman and Robin to care. You quickly pull out your phone. You ignore the incoming messages from Val and Percy. You quickly open a website and start looking up everything you could for batman. Percy laughs harder as you look up to them to see if they are okay.

“You always are so good with facial expression,” They struggle to sign as they are still laughing, “just brilliant,” They recreate the same shocked expression they saw on your face flawlessly. You can't help but crack up a bit as you look back down to your phone, pulling up some videos of the current chase they are on. You continue to crack up as you try to focus on the video as Wynn is still laughing, you look back up making eye contact with them. They flash a devious look before, Recreating the look once more. You absolutely lost your shit again from this. You laugh might have been a bit too loud as someone from below heard.

“Who’s up there?” you slap a hand over your mouth, and wynn follow your lead. “Hello! We already heard you have. No point in being quiet now.” You and Wynn look between each other as you, as you start giggling again.

“Stop giggling, and answer us, There is no use in hiding now.” A different voice shouted out. You lean over the railing as you look down. You saw no one, you look back to Wynn.

“There is someone below us, I think we might be in trouble. “ You sign as you are still giggling. 

“Oh shit” They sign still cracking up “We might be fucked.”

“Uh- Sorry? We just wanted a more private place to take a moment,” you slightly lean down as you shout over the railing. “It was too crowded and we were kind of annoyed by it all, and if I am being honest I almost started a fight with some of the kids.” The people below you are quiet for a bit. “Still there?”

“What's your name?” the first voice shouted up. You turn to Wynn mouthing ‘oh shit.’ They tried to muffle their laughter with their hand.

“___ ___” You shut down, waiting for a response, but there was only some barely audible chatter from them. “My friend is also up here, but who are you guys?” They stop talking, they took a moment to answer 

“I am Steph and the others are Duke and Cass!” The second voice, or steph, calls out. Steph sounds vaguely familiar, but You want to assume that Duke and Cass are actually the ones from the “Aren’t you the person who went viral last night?” So that's why they went silent. 

“The gazette works fast,” the first voice, who you assume is Duke,  “Tim seems to know you.” So they did know Tim, that means that theses people could get you close enough to ask him your questions, but did you really want to?

“Tim Drake?” You still aren’t sure if you want to talk to him, but this is a good way of opening the door if you ended up wanting to you at a later time. You lean over the balcony and look down. To your surprise, you see a blonde haired girl with her head hanging out of a lower balcony.

“So you know him?” Steph seems to a very bright person, you honestly might like her if you got to know her better. “He seems to think he might’ve know you when you were younger.” So he does remember you, possibly. 

“Sort of, it's hard to explain.” You think about how you should possibly explain to a bunch of people who you just meet, you want to say the semi-truth about your memories and how you can’t remember much, but you think it might be better to the more whole truth, same story about your memories but the added context about Damian and how you didn’t even know who the Waynes were until yesterday. 

“How about we come up to you?” A girl with short black hair stuck her head out besides Steph. That was the girl from earlier, or Cass as you were told by Steph. “It would be easier to talk that way, and more private. “ She still had the same intense analyzing stare from earlier. You bite the inside of cheek, you mull over your options. You could say no and risk not being able to talk to TIm, but if they come up here you will have to tell them something.

“Could I talk to my friend about it, first? Want to make sure they are okay with it.” You were trying to buy yourself sometime, while make your decision about what you were going to tell them if Wynn is okay with it. “They’re hard of hearing and have been looking at me like I am crazy, for the past couple of minutes.

“Of course.” Cass nods her head with a small smile, You give them a thumbs up before you stand straight up again. “Please make it quick though.”

You turn to Wynn, who looks mildly annoyed with you, which is completely fair considering that you had ignored them when they tried to speak with you earlier. “So, I have some people that want to come up and join us.” you sign to them. They raise an eyebrow, with their arms fold while impatiently tapping their index figure on their arm. “And they want me to explain how I know Tim…” You try to tug on their heart strings with a deceiving innocent smile and batting your eyelashes hoping that they might say no.

“Who are they?” They didn’t budge in their annoyance with , this is the price that you have to pay for your sins against them.

“Duke Thomas, Cassandra Cain and Steph, I don’t quite know her full name.” Wynn’s eyes light up with delight, dread washes over you.“Do you know them?” You already know the answer.

 They love being petty when it comes to you. They smile to themselves, you grit your teeth and take a deep breath in.

“You can come join us, we are on the 75th floor-” when leaned back over the railing saw as Cass was on top of the railing on jumping up the next floor. She climbing on to  the balcony  of the 74th floor. You were dumbfounded. You know that Cass had 1her fair share of activities, like ballet, from what you found online but it never said anything about doing stuff like what you just saw. “Dude, I was thinking you should the elevator but I guess that works too.” Cass was already standing on the railing of the balcony below. 

“Yes,” They are satisfied with themself, “They can come join us.”

“Uh, I think me and Duke will take the elevator.” Steph sounds like she didn’t expect Cass to do that, so maybe this wasn’t a normal thing at least. “We will be up in a few minutes, don’t start without us!” Cass jumps up, grabbing on to the railing. You offer a hand to help her up but she already, but she was already pulling herself up. she jumps over the railing landing on her feet, she was just as graceful about it as she was when she was walking earlier.

“You do that often?” You are impressed by Cass’s agility, you had never seen anyone move like, well besides batman and other heroes. You don't know if you could do that or not, you really barely knew anything about you physical capabilities. 

“No” Cass narrows her eyes like you had done something wrong. You tilt your head and smile, you think she looks almost like a cat with airplane ears. Your eyes drift to Wynn, they are still satisfied with they decision. 

“She looks just like an annoyed cat,” you sign to Wynn with a big dorky smile still spread on her face. “You should come look at her face, you are going to love it” Wynn was a big cat fan. When your eye shift back to Cass she only seems more suspicious of you. Wynn is chuckling as they walk over your side. you didn’t understand what was so funny. Wynn turns to face Cass.

“Hello Cass it’s good to see you again.” Wynn signs, your smile drops slightly. Wynn knows Cass, Cass knows sign language, Cass, knows what you said. “___ is right that you do look like a cat with that face.”She glances her eyes and Wynn quickly still keeps the same glare before shifting her eyes back to you. “Wow, I have never seen her this suspicious of someone.” Wynn turns their head towards you, you give a shrug and a small headshake. You didn’t know what you did to make them feel this way about you. 

“I don’t know what I did, I only know her from earlier when we ran into her and we made eye contact.” You have never seen her in person before tonight, and you weren’t able to recall anything before tonight. “I thought she was more ominous than me, she was staring like she was watching me.” 

“ I was.” Cass says out loud, she is still signing.  “You were staring at me too, so it was only fair.” She was right, but you didn’t think you were staring at her like she was at you. You thought it looked more like a stare of curiosity than anything 

“I was, but I was staring more so because I was watching the way you were walking” This wasn’t entirely a lie, but still not the full truth. “You are very graceful, so I don't feel like this glare was necessary.”

“You shouldn’t stare no matter the reason. ” Cass was treating you with an extreme level of unnecessary hostility. You, in any other situation, would not even have tolerated a second sentence but you have to for the sake of your plan.

“You seem to have something against me and I find it hard to understand why.” You smile sweetly, almost enough that you could miss how tight the corners of your mouth are “we have never met before.” You laugh. Cass is unassumed with your artificial pleasantries. She moves Wynn behind her, as if you would do something to them. “Really,” you drop your sweet voice, “ You really think I would hurt them?” 

“Hey, you’re the one who said we didn’t know each other.” Cass retorts, she was right. You try not to clench your fist, you don't want to show aggression. It does nothing in the end. You and Cass are at a stand still, neither one of you move, only Wynn looking back and forth.

“Hello!” Steph cheers as she bursts through the door with a wide grin, Duke follows behind her, panting. She stops grinning when she feels the intense atmosphere you and Cass created. Her face grows grim. “Cass, are they…” Wynn pushes past Cass and grabs your wrist pulling you towards Steph and Duke. 

“Uh-” You slowly raise your hands, they tense as you do, until you form two thumbs up. Did you guys also think I was a criminal?” You give they an even more awkward smile as Duke's face churns in bewilderment, and Steph chokes on her own breath before laughing.

”A little bit. Uh- I am Duke Thomas.” Duke extends a fist to you. Your smile eases into a more natural grin, you relax a bit as you exchange a fist bump. “I heard about you; on the news and in school.”

”You go to our school?” Wynn quickly jabs the side of your stomach .”Hey! What did I do wrong?” You whin, as you jump away from them. They side eye you, in your head you hear their voice with laced restrained annoyance. ‘You know why.’ You quickly look back to Duke. “Sorry I am not good with faces.” 

“All good,” He laughs, “ I mean, it's not like I am a front cover for Wayne.” You tilt your head. “You know, because I am not typically associated with the Waynes in public.” He sighs, he must deal with this a lot.

”Oh, that’s not what I meant.” You shake your head “I am saying sorry I didn’t realize you go to our school, I am not good with faces,” you say flatly as Steph continues ti 

“___ is right,” Wynn says as they put back in their hearing aids, “ They didn’t really know the Wayne’s until they met Damian yesterday.” They fold their arms with a soft huff leaving their nose. “It wasn’t the greatest way of finding out.”

“Oh that definitely annoyed him.” Steph chuckles out “Damian got his ego checked, but how do you know tim?”

“I don’t know,” You look out towards the city, you weren’t sad but it did make it easier to lie. “I mean I think I knew him, at least based on how Percy reacted to seeing him earlier.” You smile slightly, “ Plus I have been getting invites for years, just never saw them.”

“What do mean You think you knew him, it seems like a yes or no question.” Cass had made her way from the edge of balcony to the rest of you at some point. She was now standing right besides you, still observing you. She seems a little less defensive but still ready to fight if you prove to be a threat. You glance at her out of the corner of you eye.

“Because, I can’t remember 11 years of my life.” you give her a sarcastically bright  smile and as if on que a glass shattering comes from 73rd floor. Horror washes out your face before you they could even properly understand your words.  You step toward the edge, taking a look over it, you saw just the capes of Batman and robin heading into the Gala. You turn your head and see Cass was right beside you. 

“We need to go now.” Steph doesn’t seem to be talking to you and Wynn when saying this. 

Steph and Duke take off running down the hall with Wynn following closely them, but Cass was hanging on the railing going down the same way she came up, you weighted your options. Taking the elevator would be optimal but they would probably already be in the elevator by the time you get to them. So for you sanity, and worry for Val and Percy you will follow Cass. You get your knee on the railing before turning around and grabbing on tight. You let your knees slips off of the rail and you hang there for a moment before swing yours legs back and forth, gaining a small swing, before you release the railing landing on the lower balcony on you side.

“What are you doing?” Cass shouts at you as she kneels on the railing. You quickly prop yourself up with you hands.”it’s not safe.”

“Yeah, well maybe I shouldn’t have gotten a taste of an adrenaline rush. last night.” You pant out. You stumble to your feet, your clothes were slightly torn on impact, leaving you skin exposed. “Or maybe I am just doing what I feel is right,” You get up on to the rail and repeat what you just, but land on your knees time. Cass remains silent as she watches you jump down, she follows behind you, but she lands on her feet. 

“There is a better way of going about it” She offer you her hand to you, you stare at it for a moment. You were unsure about her, you weren’t going to refuse the help, you talk her hand. She helps you up before the both of you run inside. 

The room was frozen, there was no longer any chatter or soft hums of string instruments, people are now glue to the walls of the room rather than being scattered throughout the floor. Cass and you find a way to the front of the crowd, which wasn’t hard.

“Let go of me” Your head turns to the source of the voice,”I did nothing wrong-” Precy applies more pressure on the mans back cutting off his please of mercy. You look back to Cass who wan’t paying attention to Precy but rather Batman and Robin.

 They are a few feet away from Percy but seem to be more focused on the Criminal, which you recognize as firefly. Firefly seems much more somber than the other man. Probably because he know he can’t escape now, the other guy seems like an attendee of the gala rather then a someone’s villain identity.  

“Shut him up will you?” Robin shouts at Precy, who only responds is to step on the mans back making him cough with a with a sharp glare, as he rolls his eyes. “Thats works I guess.” You step off into the empty crowd as you walk over to the group quite as Cass follows behind you.

“What would the problem be here?” You place your hand on Percy shoulder. Their head moves to the side, you force a small smile as their eyes met yours, they are cold to them. You watch as yous see their stomach drop slightly. You move you eye away from them, you see Batman, Robin, Tim and Cass, huddled together talking in a hush tone. Robin glances at you before batman call his attention back. “Percy, please tell me why you holding down this man.” you continue to stare the odd group of people.

“He was threatening to hurt someone,” Percy’s voice was never this monotone; even when you pissed them off, they alway were witty with their words. You nod your head “He was specifically asking for you.”

“Oh,” You shift your glance to the man on the floor, he breathes had grown heavier. “Well I guess it’s good I wasn’t around.” You move towards Tim, you thought this was probably the best time to caught him before the police came around, but you here three pairs of feet running up behind you. You stop and turn around right as Wynn basically jumps on you, forcing you in to a hug. Steph and Duke run past you, to the Other group.”Wynn, I am okay.” You push they back  with your hands on their shoulders.

“I know that now,” They are try to caught their breathe as they hold onto your arms for support. “But you are so incredibly-” Wynn stops, you give them a look before looking begins them. Their sponsor was right behind them.

“There you are Wynn,” His voice is littered with venom and a forced pleasant voice. A surprising well attempt of hiding his contempt for Wynn, it makes you feel slightly sick. You swiftly glance over his face. He looks to be in his mid to late fifties, with his a smile that was barely even recognizable as warm. “I have been worried sick about you all night, I still have people for you to meet-” he stops once his eyes meet your. You see his body jerk as his breathing hilts. “Oh my, I didn’t know ___ ___ would be here tonight.” His tone shifted quickly from being a well hidden hatred to a more meek subservient tone. “What is you relationship with Wynn?” His has a sharp eye, he was easily able to grasp your closeness with Wynn. You have to be careful.

“Oh,” You let your face fall into what you think is neutral stare and a tight smile “I am there friend from school.” You keep a steady voice, hiding any emotion he could try to use to influence you. “I assume you know them.”

“Yes, I am their sponsor-” He straightens his back.

“Oh yeah i have heard about you.” You don’t let your face move even if you felt the need to grit your teeth. “But I still haven’t gotten your name.” You blink as you tilt your head to the side.

“My name is Viktor Kensington” His smile is tighter as his eye twitches, you feel a bit a of self satisfaction. “I Thought you would have know that seeing as our families have done business before and I hold a media presents.”

 You look down towards the ground still hold a ‘neutral’ face. “I don’t think so,” You move Wynn behind you. Your gaze returns to staring at him. “Anyways why do you need Wynn?”

“Well i was going to introduce them to my partners and other-” He begins with his smile curling into a  cocky smirk.

“Well I don’t think that can happen anymore.” You interrupt him, you can see that he was probably going to offer to do the same thing with you, but the people who he keeps as company doesn’t seem to be the type you want to be around. 

“What- why?” You drop your smile.

“Well i mean look around.” Your voice drops slightly, you are stumped by his complete lack of awareness to the situation. “I don't think the party will continue after this,” Your voice becomes louder drawing attention to you and him. “I mean it’s simply to dangerous to continue, we already had a man threaten this room of people, along with me specifically.” His reach out slightly like he going to do something before tensing up, when he saw percy look at him sharply. “So don’t worry about Wynn, I will take care of them, just go the people you came with, if any and leave.” He is no longer smile, he looks angry but he only nods stiffly before turning on his heels and leaving.

You turn back, catching a glance of the other group of people, all of whom are now looking at you; you smile briefly before you look at Precy give the a gesture to wrap up this mess. It takes a moment for anyone to move but Tim, eventually, comes up to you, as Precy pulls up the guy and walks him over to Batman and Robin, as room is filled with hushed conversations again. 

“Is everything okay over here?” Tim’s hand move to you before stopping and just slightly hovering over you. “Was he giving you trouble?”

“Oh no, just talking thats all” You grin. Percy was walking back over, before they could saying anything you push wynn, who was completely frozen still to them, you whisper to Precy, “Take them and find Val, then get to the car i will be down soon.” They nod and gently guide Wynn away. “But if you don't mind me asking, What is our families’ relationship with each other?”

Tim is taken aback by this,” what do you mean?” You smile and let out an airy laugh. “Why are you acting like you don't know why?”

“Oh sorry, guess i still trying to wrap my head around this” You offer a sorrowful look.”I went through my mail recently and realized that i have been getting letters and invites to a lot of your events, and the most recent one, well said I had to attend tonight.” You offer him the letter, he reads over it quickly. “I mean i haven’t really been in the public eye for…”

“The past seven years?” He looks up from the letter confused.

“Yeah, just have been… busy for a while now.” a droplet of sweat slides down your temple. Your weren’t sure if you could keep up the act for much longer. 

“Um well, Bruce and your mom were always close so i guess he just never took you off the invite list.” Tim seems weary of your lack of memories. “I remember seeing you attend with Percy even after she…” Tim grow quiet for a moment before handing back the letter.

“Passed? Yes, i guess i did.” feel an itch on the side of your eye you look ways from tim to see Batman staring at you. You slightly nod your head. “Well Thank you, i think i should get going though.” You take back the letter and turn to leave.

“Uh should we take you off the list?” Tim ask before4 you get to far away. You stop and ponder for a moment before turning you head back and smiling slightly. 

“No, i think i will need come back and talk to you again, i still have more questions.” You turn back “but i think you are too busy for that right now.” You walk away to the elevator pressing the button to call for an elevator going down. 

Taglist: @problematicreblogger @mileskisser @hoeinthehouse @luminous011 @enjisthings @earth-to-mee @thereeallink @pasta-warlord @just-here-reading @jjsmeowthie @chemicalsandghosts

[scekrex]

Sinner Adam X Pastry Chef, Seraphim Male Reader.

Ok so Adam after the events of season one becomes a sinner.

But his boyfriend who sneaks out of heaven to find him and he does just that. And thankfully he did find him before he did something stupid.

Like going to the hotel he just attacked for protection from everyone who wants him dead. Who's inhabitants also want him dead.

But Reader knows he can't bring Adam up to heaven cause that goes against the rules. So he does the next best thing!

He opens a bakery in hell! Which doubles as a house. Don't question it, it's heavenly magic bullshit.

So now Him and Adam run a bakery with the help of Lute and a couple of exorcists who drop by from time to time.

Ohhhh I fucking love that, them just owning a little bakery in hell that's heaven themed and gives the vibes and is all beautiful. Also reader throwing away everything just to be with Adam? Me. I'd do that.

I'll meet you in hell

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, mentions & symptoms of depression

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

“We have to send our people down there and look for him,” you explained, hoping the other angels in the court would agree. Panic has flooded your eyes and your body language was a little too over the top because of that. Adam was down there, the projection of hell's current state had shown it, the first man was wandering through hell's streets, he was badly injured and had no shelter.

“No, we won't put our people at risk for a sinner,” Sera spoke highly, her chin tilted upwards so that she had to look down on you. “A sinner?” you asked, horrified by her choice of words - it's not that she wasn't wrong, Adam was walking through hell as a newborn sinner, “He’s still our first man!” But your statement was only met by shaking heads and mumbling that sounded a little too close to disagreement. With pleading eyes you looked up to Sera, Emily by her side. The little seraphim was talking to her sister quietly, so quiet that it was inaudible for you and the other angels in court.

“We have come to the decision,” Sera adjusted her posture as she turned towards you, “We can't risk the well-being of our people and therefore the well-being of heaven for the first man. He is not important enough to take that risk.” The panic that had been filling your eyes was replaced by pain and betrayal. The other seraphims had betrayed you, or at least it felt that way to you. With a lowered head you were about to get up and leave the courtroom, the verdict had been spoken and you had nothing to say that would change their mind. Discussing something like this with them was pointless, you should've known, saved time and went down without their knowledge of your location. You had to go down to hell and protect Adam - it wasn't as if the former angel was not able to stand up for himself - he every much was able to do so, you knew that better than anyone - but he was wounded and had no place to stay at, no one to turn to and the fact that probably every single resident of the pride ring wanted him dead was not helping either.

So you nodded your head towards your brothers and sisters, then turned to Lute - Lute who had been the only one to stay by your side. “We’re done here,” you stated as you watched the lieutenant lower her head as she followed you out of the courtroom. “Sir, excuse my curiosity but I assume you will not stay in your seat and wait, so may I ask what your plan is?” You liked Lute for many reasons, her loyalty for Adam was most definitely one of the highest attributes you admired. “I’ll go down myself and make sure he stays out of trouble as much as possible,” you explained, the lieutenant of your boyfriend remained by your side as you opened a portal to where Adam had last been spotted in hell, she was ready to go down with you. And while you normally wouldn't turn that offer down, this time you had to. Your visit in hell would be permanent - you were not going to leave the brunette to himself. “I’m coming with you, Sir,” the white haired woman said as she walked closer to the portal, yet she stopped when your hand gently came to rest on her shoulder. Your soft eyes met her determined ones and you offered her a warm yet genuine smile, “No Lute. Heaven needs you, I will take care of Adam, you will take care of heaven for me.”

The exorcist did not look very pleased with that decision of yours, still she gave you a nod and took a step back from you and the golden portal, “Very well, Sir.” With a little wave you turned around at her words, now facing the portal that would take you to your boyfriend and just as you were about to step through it, Lute raised her voice again, this time the usually so confident woman’s voice sounded somewhat unsteady, “Y/N?” You turned your head to Lute, then she continued, “Tell Adam I miss him.” And with those words she left. Ah yes, Lute always had trouble showing feelings and admitting them to somebody else than the person they were about surely must have been hard for her.

Hell was different than you had expected it to be, you had never personally been down there, why should you have been after all? Yet a creature as bright spirited as you was easy to spot - mainly due to your appearance. So when you turned around just to be tackled to the ground by a familiar first man, you were quite surprised and in shock at the same time, you had not expected Adam to spot you that quickly and act on it. “I fucking knew you would come to get my holy ass back into heaven,” the brunette mumbled as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. You held onto Adam’s body as you got up from the dirty ground - hell had a nasty vibe that you did not like but you’d have to get used to it. This place would now function as your new home due to Adam being not allowed to cross the pearly gates again. “Well, it’s not that easy love, I spoke to Sera-” Adam eagerly interrupted you, “I’m fucking sure she told you to get me in the first place, didn’t she? Yeah, she sure as fuck did.” Though when you shook your head in disagreement the prideful look in his eyes fell and disbelief replaced it. “What? You’re gonna fucking tell me these bitches want me to rot in this fucked up hellhole?” A simple nod was all you were able to give your boyfriend. Yes, that was exactly what Sera and the others had decided was the best solution for not only heaven but also Adam, but how could this be the best decision for Adam when he had been all alone the entire time and would have continued to stay alone if it weren’t for you disobeying the rules? Gently you cupped his face, a thing the first man had grown used to since that was something you did quite often - he still found it a little strange, it felt so intimate and personal while it appeared to be such a casual way of touching your lover. “The court has decided to not let you back in, Adam,” for Adam, this was the first time hearing your voice after his fall, after he had lost his status and home, after he had been convinced he had lost you as well. And despite your words being bad news, he could not help but find comfort in the sound of your voice. “But I won’t let you suffer here all on your own,” Adam’s eyes shimmered with hope and it felt painful to take that little bit of hope from him too, you knew he was hoping you were to smuggle him back into the heavenly realms - but that was a thing not even you as a seraphim could do.

“I’ll stay by your side,” and despite your thoughts that Adam would be highly disappointed, the hope in his eyes remained. You assumed that spending eternity in hell with his boyfriend sounded better to him than spending eternity in hell all on his own. “Well,” the brunette shrugged as he slowly pulled away from your touch, “That works fucking fine by me.” Not that it actually did though, the former angel would have preferred it if you would have taken his ass back to the pearly gates. But if the others were against it, you would make hell his new home instead, simply by spending all of eternity here with him just because you wanted to do so. He knew that if they hadn't done so already, they would properly ban you from the realm you had called home once forever, just like they had banned him. And he respected that - well, at least he thought he did because in his eyes that not only had the cute touch of ‘I throw my perfect life away to be with my loved one’, to Adam that also sounded incredibly stupid. Or at least he tried to tell himself that your decision was stupid - giving up everything to spend eternity with your loved one? Yeah totally not something he would do. Except that for you, he would throw it all away.

-

Getting used to hell’s atmosphere surely was not something that had ever been on your agenda, the air was stinky, the streets were dirty and the only area that felt clean and somewhat fresh was the area around the bakery you had built. The building was huge, shimmered in heaven’s brightest colors and you even managed to let some grass grow around the building that was not only used as a bakery, but it was also the new home of Adam and you. It had been quite some work - not because it was hard to work angelic magic in hell, no that had been the easy part. But due to this building doubling as a house and a bakery, it had taken some planning to not forget something important.

The bakery was not running very well, most sinners were not interested in heavenly food. The creatures down here looked up at heaven like the angels up there looked down at hell, in disgust and despair, not that you blamed them for doing so, they surely had their reasons to think that way. But you had two or three regulars that would stop by every other day and those people surely made your day, especially with one of them being Charlie Morningstar. Adam was not very happy whenever little miss butterflies and rainbows was visiting, but you and her got along quite well and your boyfriend at least tolerated that. And despite the bakery not earning very much money, the both of you had everything you needed, that was the bright side of not having to pay rent, you assumed.

Lute had convinced Sera to do regular check-ups on you, however she had only told the seraphim as an excuse to visit Adam. Don’t get her wrong, she was also glad to be able and pay you a visit, but her and Adam were closer than you and Lute could ever be and her missing her best friend more than his boyfriend was more than normal, not only in her eyes but also in yours. Sometimes she even talked Sera into taking one or two of the exorcists with her, to Sera she would say she takes them with her for defense reasons, in reality they just missed their former leader - and who could blame them? Lute surely did not.

You were standing behind the counter, the first man leaned against your side, wrapped up in your soft wings, his head on your shoulder as he was almost falling asleep. It was still early and Adam was convinced he would never get used to getting up so early in the morning, to him it felt like it was still the middle of the night. The little bell that rang as the door to the bakery opened made him crack one eye open and as he spotted a familiar face, he lifted his head off your shoulder, he remained wrapped in your wing though, not willing to leave the cozy warmth they provided.

“Danger Tits,” Adam beamed at the white haired woman as she entered the bright and heavenly feeling bakery. The vibe of the building you had created was different from the rest of hell, whenever Lute entered the inviting looking building she felt like you had brought a piece of heaven to hell. And while she still disliked Charlie’s idea of rehabilitation, she did like the fact that you made hell a little nicer - at least for Adam’s sake. That way she knew the first man was able to live a somewhat good afterlife, even with his soul stuck in hell.

[thetreefairy]

Heyyy 🤍

I wanted to request a platonic father Aizawa, in which his daughter is really stressed and he finds her crying, almost in the border of a panic attack. And how he helps her, etc.

A little context of this request is that today i had a panic attack hahaha. So basicly confort and a slight angst ñ.

Thanks love 🤍

she/her reader (f/f) - favorite food tw: panic attacks, yandere undertones but not so much because I accidentally mixed up requests, so I did tone it down extremely so that it was just father Aizawa but because of that i had to cut some scenes, so sorry if it's like messy.

sorry for the late response, internship is depleting my energy levels like a fucking leech (love my internship though) <3

this isn't my best piece since I kept the panic attack vague as there are many ways to like have a panic attack so I didn't want to be too specific.

Reader always had been an anxious child, that's why Aizawa Shouta wasn't a fan of her being a hero student. Even as a support student.

While she inherited his quirk, she was rather talented in science and making support items, so she chose the support route.

Shouta saw it as a comprise, this way she won't be involved in direct combat and she would still be able to live her 'dream'.

"Reader?" Shouta called out as he opened the door of their apartment, he had come home late after a rather nasty fight with Shigaraki. "I brought you back some (f/f)."

That was something he rather often did when he got back from a nasty fight that was actually on TV. Ever since his new class, he wasn't really an 'underground' hero anymore, so his fights were more available to the public. The downside of that was that Reader could watch them.

He heard a rather loud sob and he saw his daughter wrapped up in a banket, watching TV, the news sender. "Oh, baby." Aizawa cooed instantly, thinking she was crying because of his fight. He placed the food on the table and rubbed his baby's shoulders. Pulling her in for a side hug. "Papa is okay."

Well he was right to some extent, Reader wasn't just crying for her father. She was crying about her support items, she had given her papa a prototype of one of her eye-creams (which she made with recovery-girl as a trying something new thing) and a taser that paralyzes the person at the receiving end for like an hour or two, so why didn't he use them?

He could have ended the fight quicker and less injured, Reader was panicking because she thought her items weren't good enough. That they failed her papa when he needed them. When Reader didn't make a sound besides heavy breathing and sobbing when Shouta pulled her in for a hug, he realized that something else was going on as well.

"Petal?" Reader was too quit for Shouta's liking, so he pulled the weighted blanket over her. She was either having a panic attack or mad at him, so he'll comfort her until she's able to tell him what she wants. "I'm going to keep hugging you, okay?"

He felt a weak nod but Reader was still breathing too quickly for his liking. "Now, I am going to do some breathing exercises, wanna do them with me?"

She didn't respond so Shouta silently started to guide her breathing and when she was breathing properly he whispered comforting words in her ears.

"Papa?" Reader asked softly. "D-did my taser fail you?"

"Huh?" Shouta asked confused, then it clicked to him, the prototype. "Oh, papa lend it out to Midoriya, my biggest problem child, remember him?"

Reader nodded, Midoriya often hung out with her in Recovery girl's room because he usually got injured a lot but also because she made a cream to help with his joints but that cream needs recovery-girls quirk to be made.

"He keeps getting in trouble so I gave him your taser, since it has multiple uses so that he can run instead of fighting."

"...So you didn't hate it?"

"No, I love it baby." Shouta cooed, his poor baby was rather insecure and weak. He really shouldn't let her watch the hero news-channels, perhaps he should just keep her safe and sound in the apartment. (the league of villains have been becoming way more aggressive and calculating for his liking). "I love everything you make me, you know?"

"But you would tell me if I need to improve?" Reader asked softly, she needed an answer to that, so that she could be for sure if he was sincere about his compliments and feedback.

"Of course, whenever have I sugar-coated anything?" He grinned up to his daughter with his trade-mark shit eating grin. Reader chuckled weakly, she felt better now, but the small voice in her head was still bullshitting her. (At least for Shouta would it always be bullshit, and Reader? Well she'll need some convincing)

"Never."

"Exactly, how about I call in sick tomorrow and we go to a cat café huh?"

Hope you like it<33

[redwinetalks]

I Won't Let You Sink

Chapter 3

(Previous Chapter)

Word Count: 5.2k

Pairing: Finnick X Fem!OC

Warnings: slight self harm, angst, fluff , protective Finnick, Finnick is a sap, panic attack, violence/gore, death, hurt/comfort, pre-canon, young Finnick and Silk, Silk AND Finnick pov

Summary: It's the next year of the Hunger Games. Silk is a mentor now and Finnick will not let her go through this alone!!

*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°

~ Silk ~

The old apartment mom and I lived in didn’t have many windows, but that hardly matters when you barely see the sun in the sky. If you live closer to factories, the smog is so thick that you never see the blue in the sky. Victor’s Village is at the edge of town so the air quality is better. There’s still smog, but I can see the sky. The sun doesn’t have to try as hard to come out. It shines in my face and wakes me almost instantly. I’m still getting used to the brightness and the warmth that it brings me, but it feels inviting. It feels familiar. My mouth twitches into a small smile whenever the sun wakes me up. Like a good friend has come to visit and take the darkness away. 

I feel the sun’s comfort even on the days I have to leave for the Capitol. It tells me that I’ll be back soon and I won’t lose that warmth. I will find it in Finnick O’dair. Maybe it’s because he himself is always so warm. His hands are warm when he places one on my cheek to ease my anxiety. His chest and his arms are warm when he pulls me into calming hug. His legs are warm when one brushes up again mine as we sit together. Every time I feel Finnick’s warmth I’m reminded of the sun. 

We’ve grown closer with each visit to the Capitol. We regularly find each other when one of us is needing a moment to breathe. I think we’ve developed a sense for when it happens. I think Finnick likes it when I look to him for a way out of a dull conversation. He always dramatically whisks me away, playing hero. 

Finnick is so much different than the persona he turns on for everyone else. He isn’t arrogant or self centered at all. The real Finnick always wants to focus on how I’m feeling instead of himself. He can get so worked up and always wants to help anyone in need. It took me a bit to grow fully comfortable with his care, to let him in. I’ve never had someone worry over me the way he does. 

However, Finnick never wants me to worry over him. He has this idea in his head that he’s supposed to be the caretaker. That his own troubles are irrelevant. It’s like pulling teeth, getting him to be truly vulnerable. I never push too hard as I don’t want to overstep, but I can tell he wants the comfort. It’s almost as if he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. I can only imagine all of the feelings he has shut inside. With each visit I try to open that door a bit more. 

I don’t dread my train ride to the Capitol in the same way I used to. I would panic and I could never sleep leading up to my visits. I still feel that gut wrenching anxiety, and I always will, but now I don’t have to go through it alone. I now can give myself assurance that there will be a shoulder I can lean on. There’s someone who can look at me and understand the pain that I feel. I don’t have to see myself in the mirror falling apart when someone will come help me pick up the pieces. 

This doesn’t mean that what happens at the Capitol is no longer traumatic. It is still very much so. I will never get used to the pain. The way these people look at me and don’t see a real person. They don’t see a human being that deserves life. They see someone who won their favorite show. A prize that they can play with. They can customize me in almost every way. They pick what I wear, what makeup is put on me, how my hair is done. They give me instructions on how to behave and how to give them their fantasy. They don’t see anything wrong with it and they never will. 

“Don’t get lost in there, sweetheart.” Finnick sits next to me on the couch in his room, twirling a piece of my hair. 

“How was your shower?” I turn to give him my attention. His blonde hair is still damp and a few wavy strands rest on his forehead. 

“Not scalding enough.” he jokes. “Did ya miss me? I’m sure those twenty minutes were quite boring.” 

“Nope.” I say, popping the “p”. “Barely even noticed.” 

“I’m hurt, sweetheart.” He puts his hand on his chest and gives me a sad, pouty expression. 

“So dramatic. One girl turns you down and suddenly your ego is shattered.” 

“Only when it’s you, beautiful.” He smirks at me and I can feel the warmth creeping up my face. Finnick is the only person who has ever given me this kind of warmth. It still surprises me every time, this feeling I’ve never felt before. 

“You’ll get over it.” I shrug him, and the feeling, off and then turn to look back at the night sky.  He laughs to himself and sighs. 

“Did you know I’d never seen the stars before coming to the Capitol?” I suddenly say. Finnick faces me with a look of shock. 

“What? How is that?” I smile, his surprised expression making me laugh softly. 

“I’ve seen them in pictures but, you know how I told you the water at the shore in 8 is polluted?” He nods, now giving me a more focused expression. “Well, the sky is too. The factories cause the air to be polluted as well. There’s this smog that makes the sky look all hazy. During the day I can barely tell that the sky is blue. And at night, I can’t see any stars at all. I didn’t know that they were this beautiful.” I’m still gazing at them. They’re so much brighter than I thought they’d be. Finnick turns to look at them as well.

“They are, but you’re far more beautiful.” He says this so genuinely. I look at him surprised, yet confused. I’m taken aback. It’s not like Finnick hasn’t given me a compliment before. He’s kind and charming. He knows how to make someone feel seen. But this feels different. His tone doesn’t sound flirtatious, like it usually does when he gives a compliment. It’s much sweeter, much softer. He doesn’t give me enough time to dwell on it before he continues speaking. “When I’m home in 4, I sit on the beach and watch the stars almost every night. It’s so peaceful, watching the sun go down and then seeing the moon glow so bright. The sky goes from light blue to a vibrant orange or a soothing purple. And then it turns this dark blue, almost black. The contrast of the night sky and the sparkling stars can be breathtaking. One day, when you visit me, we can stargaze together.” 

A pang of jealousy hits me. As much as I love my home, it hasn’t been able to give me these wondrous experiences. The labor that is forced upon us all in Panem affects how we get to experience life. And unfortunately, I didn’t get to grow up in district 4. I didn’t grow up in a district with clear skies. I grew up in a district where being outside for too long can make it difficult to breathe. Sometimes I feel like 8 gets punished the most because of our rebellious nature, but I know that every district struggles with their own hardships caused by the Capitol. It isn’t fair of me to compare us all. I know that I’m just feeling bitter, now more than ever. 

“I don’t think I can be too hopeful of that.” He frowns at me. I know that he’s trying to give me something positive to think about, but my mind won’t allow me to dream. “How could I dream of something so wonderful when I know it’ll never happen?” He takes my hand and squeezes tight. 

“Come with me.” He gets off the couch and leads me out of the bedroom and onto the balcony. I don’t question what he’s doing. As I get to know Finnick, I learn how he goes to any dramatic lengths to help me feel better. His heart is so big. The fact that he hasn’t lost who he is to the Capitol’s torture makes him one of the strongest people I know. 

He ushers me to sit on the ground next to him. When I do, he then lays on his back and I copy him. I look at his eyes. Even at night I swear that they sparkle. 

“Look up, pretty girl.” I smile softly at him and then do as he says. “If I can’t yet take you to gaze at the stars in 4, then I’ll take this for now.” He holds my hand and then the few tears that I have been holding in finally let go. The night sky is vast and breathtaking, just like he said. I’ve never just taken a second to look at it like this. 

“Thank you” I say in almost a whisper. 

“I will always do whatever I can to bring a smile to your face.” He says and twirls a strand of my hair again. I turn back to face him and I’m looking into those sea green eyes. I watch them as they study my face. We both stay like this for a while, still holding hands. I feel a tightness in my chest. It’s like a pull towards Finnick, but I choose to ignore it. I let the moment continue to be just this. Just us looking at each other and feeling like we are the only people in the world. I’ve never felt the way I do now, but I would like this feeling to stay forever. It feels so comforting. I feel safe here. In this little world that is just me and Finnick. 

In the middle of the mattress, Finnick’s hand still holds onto mine. This is the first time we’ve fallen asleep right next to each other. He usually sleeps on the floor, going against my protests. But tonight, we lay in the bed. The bed that I used to be so afraid of. It doesn’t feel as scary with Finnick here. He seems to make all of my troubles fade into the back of my mind. I could never thank him enough for keeping me from sinking into that dark abyss. The next time I see him I’ll be a mentor. We won’t be back at the Capitol for parties, we’ll be back for the 69th annual Hunger Games. It is utterly terrifying that I will be the one guiding tributes, but he’s told me how he won’t let me go through it alone. He will be beside me every second he can, and I hope that I can make the year less daunting for him as well. 

*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°

The day of the reaping is finally here. The leading up to it felt somehow fast and slow at the same time. Today I get to relive the trauma of being selected by seeing two kids walk to the stage with the same gut wrenching fear that I had. I am terrified for them and terrified that I will let them down. Even if I do my job to the best of my ability, only one will come home. I will still lose one of my own. I don’t know how I’ll be able to get off the train and face everyone when I return home. 

District 8 is the sixth largest district. I know mainly just the people who’ve worked in the factories near me or live close to my home. My old home. I’m familiar with some who I see frequently in the heart of the district. Where people sell food or an assortment of clothes and items at their separate stalls. That doesn’t matter so much, though. It’s not better for someone I know or don’t know to be picked. Either way a child is going to die and a family is going to suffer. I don’t know how Cecilia pushes through. Woof, the other victor in 8, isn’t all there. She’s basically on her own. His dementia has caused him to be less and less involved. A part of me is happy for him that he is losing his memories. Maybe he’s losing the worst ones and is actually living peacefully. That’s what I would like to believe. 

I wonder how Cecilia feels today. How did she feel when she was mentoring me? How did she feel when Pinn, my district partner, died? How does it feel doing this year after year, especially now that she has children of her own. One day her children will be old enough to be reaped. I can’t even imagine the fear of having to mentor your own child. The thoughts swirling around in my head make me dizzy. 

I wince when I realize I’ve been digging my nails into my palm. I haven’t done that in a while. Finnick stops me whenever he notices and the habit has slowly started to break. However, it seems like I’m picking it back up with the additional stress. 

“Honey, are you ready?” My mom peaks through my door and looks at me with a sad smile. She holds my sweater over her arm. It’s one that she knit for me during a sleepless night. When I was away for one of my trips to the Capitol. She still doesn’t know the whole reason that I have to go. She tries to get the answer out of me every few weeks, but I never let myself reveal the truth. It’s just meaningless parties that I have to attend as a victor. I know she doesn’t believe me, but for now that’s all I can give her. 

“Just about.” I sigh, looking at myself in the mirror. I use a scarf to keep the hair out of my face for today. The green details complement the dark purple color of my dress. I wanted to wear some of my favorite colors, thinking they’d somehow make me feel more positive. But nothing about today will be positive. 

“You’re going to get through this. You are stronger than they know. You’ll have Cecilia with you. And Finnick when you get to the Capitol.” I nod and mom pulls me in for a hug. She squeezes me tight and kisses my head. “I’ll be in the crowd, but I won’t get to say goodbye before you leave. You’ll be back home in a few weeks. No matter how bad it gets just remember that this time you’re coming home.” She holds my cheek in her hand and rubs her thumb back and forth. I look at her and keep nodding. I’m coming home this time. 

Standing beside Cecilia, I watch all the kids fall in line. It’s such a weird feeling, not being part of that line. Not being part of the rows and rows of young girls. I should feel some kind of relief. I no longer have to worry about my name being called, but I still feel that worry. It’s just different. It’s now about who will be called on for me to mentor. 

Cecilia must sense the anxiety radiating off of me because she starts to rub my back. I look to her and she gives me a kind smile. She doesn’t have to say anything to me. I know that she’s telling me I’ll be okay. I’ll get through it. After all these years, Cecilia is still standing. She has a loving husband and two beautiful children. Watching her gives me a sense of hope that I could have a happy future. It’s hard to see right now, but maybe one day I’ll eventually be okay. 

I shake myself from my thoughts and see they’ve chosen a female tribute. I don’t know her, but she looks to be about 12 years old. Her first year in the reaping and she’s been picked. She’s already crying and the escort, Veridie, is smiling as wide and brightly as possible. I clench my fists. The anger I feel growing inside of me is indescribable. 

She glides over to the other bowl to pick the male tribute name. I’m trying not to start hyperventilating. I need to look as calm as possible. I’ve done this before. I didn’t allow myself to react at my own reaping. Why is it so much harder now? Because these kids are going to be looking up to me to survive. The pressure is so heavy. It feels like I’m being pushed into the ground. 

My eyes focus on Veridie as she shouts the male tribute’s name and I realize I know this tribute. We went to school together and worked in the same factory. He’s the same age as me, 18. He was so close making it. So close to being free. 

The panic is rising in my chest. I can feel tears brimming in my eyes, but I quickly blink them away. I feel horrible. I can’t do this. How the fuck am I supposed to do this?

*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°

~ Finnick ~

The train ride to the Capitol was the same as it is every year. The air is tense as I explain the hell my tributes are about to go through. I teach them about getting sponsors and making allies while Mags tries to do some consoling. 

I wonder how Silk is doing right now. I wish I was with her right now. I wish I could try to ease her distress. I’m afraid she’ll be more closed off when I finally see her. She doesn’t want to look weak. She doesn’t want for people to be able to read her, but I know how strong she is. How she’s feeling right now doesn’t make her weak. She’s always able to hold herself together when she knows she’s being watched. That takes an enormous amount of strength. I don’t want her to feel like she has to be that strong around me. I don’t want her to close herself back up after I’ve finally helped her relax. 

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the last night I saw her. She looked so beautiful in the glow of the night sky. With her hand in mine, I felt an electricity shooting up my body. I never wanted to let her go. And when she looked at me. I could have kissed her right there. I wish I had swept her up in my arms, but I don’t know how she feels. I don’t want her to feel comfortable with me now and then ruin it all. Her hand in mine is enough. I never want to let her go. 

I still haven’t seen Silk after arriving at the Capitol. The opening ceremony will be happening soon and I’m hoping to catch her. I just need to see how she’s holding up. 

Mags keeps teasing me about how I’ve been so distracted. She continues to do so while I’m looking around the carriages. I spot Cecilia, but I’m struggling to find Silk. I stifle a laugh, thinking about how her short stature is probably the reason I don’t see her. 

I make my way to Cecilia. If I can’t find Silk I can at least ask about her. As I’m almost to the older mentor, I finally spot her. She looks even more beautiful than the last time I saw her. She’s talking to her female tribute. I see the kindness in her eyes as she tells the girl what to expect. Even though this child is a spectacle to the Capitol, Silk tries to make it sound more magical. She tells the girl how lovely she looks and that being on the carriage feels like gliding through the air. 

“Go show everyone out there how strong you are. I’ll be right here when you get back.” She rubs the girls arm and then guides her onto the carriage. When she turns back around she locks eyes with me. 

“Finnick” she says with a sweet smile. My heartbeat speeds up a little, her focus now being on me. 

“Hello, sweetheart. Want a sugar cube?” Her brow furrows and I let out a breath of a laugh. “They’re for the horses, but I think you deserve a treat just as sweet as you.” She rolls her eyes, as she usually does when I flirt with her, but then takes it. She pops it into her mouth and I can’t help but look at her lips. I bet they taste just as sweet as that sugar. I take a deep breath to try and keep my focus. A task that proves to be difficult whenever I’m around her. 

“Thank you.” She doesn’t say more than that. She has on a brave face, but I think that’s all she can give right now. 

“How are you holding up? It’s been a long day.”

“It’s been…okay” She says distantly. She’s looking just next to me, eyes lost in space. Her mind must be racing. 

“Anything going on in that beautiful head of yours that you’d want to talk about?” 

“Finnick…how do I do this?” Her eyes now stare directly into mine and I feel heavy. How do you prepare kids to go and fight to the death? There’s no real answer to that question, but she knows that. If there was an answer I would’ve told her immediately. So would Cecilia. What she’s really asking is how do you cope? How do you keep from breaking down every second? 

“You just…you have to push through this first year. It’ll still be hard next year and so on, but you learn the routine. You know what to expect and it makes it easier to process.” I rub her arm and she hums a response. I want to give her more comfort, but I don’t want to overwhelm her. We’re in too public of a space for me to fully embrace her. “You’ll be okay, though. I’m here if you need anything at all, sweet girl. I mean that.” Her lips twitch up into the softest smile. Her hand cups my cheek and I could almost melt into her touch. 

“I know, sweet Finnick.” 

*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*

~ Silk ~

After the long days of training and interviews end, the watch party starts and I sit next to Cecilia. Her demeanor has gotten more tense throughout these past few days. I know she’s feeling drained and I wish I could be more help. She’s told me not to worry about it. She just wants me to try and get through this first year the best that I can. 

We’re in a room full of mentors from the other districts. Finnick is sitting with Mags. He’s tying and untying knots into some rope and I assume it’s to help with stress. I see Haymitch in the corner drowning himself in liquor and I wonder if I’ll have to drink like that to get through these trips in the future. I hope it doesn’t come to that, but I don’t think I’d be surprised if it does. It’ll just mean I have something in common with my father. 

The countdown is starting and I’m gripping the couch cushions. I don’t know what to expect. If I’m being honest with myself, my tributes don’t stand a good chance at winning. Both of their training scores were low. Not impressive enough to get any sponsors. It’s horrible, but I know that they’ll die. I just hope it’s quick and painless. That’s all you can really wish for. 

The games start and everything is moving so quickly. I can barely even keep track of where my tributes are. I hear the canon going off over and over. Cecilia gasps quietly and holds onto my hand. When I look to see what has happened, I feel like the air has been punched out of me. That little girl, my tribute, is dead on the ground with an axe in her head. Just a few feet away my other tribute is falling to the ground after being stabbed by a career. 

“Cecilia” I don’t know what to do. I feel like the room is spinning. “Um…I think I need to take a minute.” 

“There’s a bathroom just outside the door. Take however much time you need. I’ll go grab some water.” She rubs my arm and then helps me stand. I try to walk as calmly as I can out of the room. As soon as the doors close behind me I rush into the bathroom and start hyperventilating. There are no tears flowing, there’s only panic. Panic from me not doing enough to help them. Panic from having to watch their gruesome murders. Panic from failing them. Everything around me is spinning and I feel my stomach churning. 

“Silk? Can I come in?” That’s not Cecilia. I’m too upset to be able to focus. I don’t even answer. I just keep failing at trying to breathe. 

I whip my head at the door as it slightly opens. Finnick peaks in calmly and then shifts into extreme worry once he sees me. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay. You’re okay. Look at me.” He holds onto my arms and locks eyes with me. I shake my head at him. 

“They’re dead. They’re dead, Finnick. And I couldn’t help them.” He pulls me into a tight embrace. He has one hand on my head and the other rubbing my back. Even at the Capitol he still smells of salty air. 

“It’s not your fault, Silk. None of this is your fault.” I’m still shaking and my breathing is still rapid. I hear what he’s telling me but I can’t process it. The panic in my stomach is rising. 

“I’m gonna be sick.” I mumble and push him away. I rush over to the toilet and then I feel Finnick’s hands grab my hair out of my face. He sits next to me and continues to rub my back. “You don’t have to stay in here.” I say, breathily. 

“I’m not going anywhere, sweet girl.” I sigh deeply and then flush away the sickness. I still feel awful, but at least the anxiety attack has ceased. 

He hands me a glass of water and I gladly take it. I clean myself up at the sink and then slowly sip on the water. Finnick stays close by, hand still on my back. I feel calmer now that he is here. I feel the warmth that he brings with him. I lean my head against his chest and he kisses the top of my head. Somehow, even during this horrendous night, he still makes my heart swell. 

“Why don’t we go and look at the stars, huh?” He runs his hand through my hair and I nod, still leaning on him. He guides me out of the bathroom and upstairs to his room. 

Once inside, he grabs a blanket and wraps it around me. We walk out to the balcony and the warm air hits my face. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Finnick pulls me close to him and I feel myself letting go of some tension.

I wonder how I’d be doing right now if I never met Finnick. I wonder if my nights alone at the Capitol would start to drive me to insanity. There’s a part of me that is afraid of much he means to me. How it feels like I need him. I want to be strong enough to hold myself up, but that isn’t how people work. Pushing others away only makes things worse. I’ve always been afraid of letting people in. I usually keep to myself. The only person who truly knows me is my mother, but I think Finnick is starting to know me. Really know me. That fills me up with so much anxiety. But it’s not really the bad kind. It’s more of a feeling of want. I want Finnick to stay in my life for a long time. 

“I wish I lived amongst the stars.” I say while we both stare at the sky. “I want to be the moon and feel the sun shining on me, making the me glow.” He looks down at me while listening intently. I feel like Finnick is always shining. And his sunshine makes me glow. He casts away the darkness. “You’re the sun, Finnick. You are so bright and so beautiful.” I run my hand through his hair and then rest it on his cheek. He’s smiling and I rub my thumb over the dimple that appears. My eyes rest on his lips and I feel that pull that I felt last time we looked at the stars. This time though, I don’t want to keep the moment still. I don’t want to resist the pull. 

I raise myself up on my tiptoes and pull his face towards mine. I close my eyes and kiss him. I breathe in his sea salty lips that have a hint of sweetness from a sugar cube. One of his arms holds onto my back while the other tightly wraps around my torso, and there is nothing else in the world. It is just me and Finnick and the stars. 

Our kiss eventually breaks, but he doesn’t move his face away. His forehead stays resting on mine. 

“Silk…” he says breathlessly. His cheeks are flushed and his sea green eyes are locked onto mine. I wait for him to continue speaking, but he doesn’t. He pulls me in for another kiss. This time feels even more passionate. He holds me even tighter and my feet are just barely touching the ground. 

“For the past two years, I thought I’d never feel true happiness again. I was completely defeated.” He starts and I’m now back to standing fully on the ground. “Meeting you has felt like a dream. You bring me serenity amidst all the despair I have endured. Your glow, your incandescent light has guided me out of that pit I fell into. I can’t express how grateful I am to have you in my life.” He still has one hand around my torso, keeping me close, but now his other hand brushes through my hair and then rests just between my jaw and neck. He glides his thumb over my lips and then traces my cheek. I smile and then breathe out a light laugh. 

“Such a sweet talker.” He gives me the eye roll that I’m always giving him, but then he laughs and kisses my head. 

“I have to keep up the dramatics for you, pretty girl.” I hum happily in response. We stay like this for a minute, just holding each other. I think back to the reason we’re up here in the first place. My face falls and I squeeze Finnick a bit tighter. 

“Thank you for helping me get through all of this. Especially tonight.”

“I wasn’t going to break my promise to you. I am here for you and I always will be.” 

*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°

Thank you so much for reading! I had some rough writer's block for this one sooo hope its okayyyy. I hope you enjoyed :) As always I am open to kind feedback. Also let me know if you’d like to be tagged for the next chapter!! <3

Tag list <3

@yourmumstoyboy2-blog @ghoulbabs @lusy98 @marvelescvpe @simplymurdock @marcyss @miserablebl00d @wife-of-all-dilfs @mrsnancywheeler @princessofyourmom @babypaperwitch @stxr-slut

[ghosttotheparty]

if you'd let me want you

also on ao3 thank u @lunaraindrop for the help <3 cw: angst <3 arguing, brief panic attacks

“I’m just saying, man,” Eddie says lightly, leaning against the counter, watching Steve lift a box and set it on a cart. He lets himself watch. Steve isn’t looking at him. He can practically feel the ground shake as Steve rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “You guys make sense together.”

“Just because something makes sense doesn’t mean it…” Steve rips the box open. Eddie wills his face not to flush with heat. “Make sense.”

“That didn’t make sense.”

Steve shoots him a look.

“I don’t like Nancy like that anymore,” he says, almost grumbling. His mood shifted as soon as Eddie brought her up a few minutes ago. He smiled when Eddie showed up at Family Video, greeting him with a bright, “Hey!” but the second Eddie asked if he’s seen Nancy recently, the perpetual soft smile that lingered on his face faded and he looked away. His cheeks flushed pink. So Eddie doesn’t really believe him.

“You know I don’t believe you, right?”

Steve sends a look over at him. But it’s not really a look. He glares at him.

Eddie’s eyebrows raise as Steve looks away again, his stomach twisting.

“You don’t have to believe me, Eddie,” Steve says, his voice twinged with annoyance. “It doesn’t make it… not true.”

“Well, you get all uptight and stiff every time I bring her up,” Eddie says, crossing his arms over his chest like he’s defending himself.

“Yeah, maybe I just don’t wanna talk about my ex with you,” Steve says, his voice firmer, annoyed and slightly louder. Eddie’s chest tightens, and he furrows his brows, his breath caught in his chest.

“This is the kind of thing friends talk about,” he says defensively.

“Maybe I just wanna hang out with you without talking about my fucking love life,” Steve snaps, putting a tape up on a shelf a little too hard. Eddie blinks.

“Why are you pissed?”

“I’m not pissed.”

“You sound pissed. You look pissed.”

“I’m fine, Eddie,” Steve says, sounding even more pissed. “I just don’t wanna talk about it.”

Eddie has a problem. He’s had this problem his whole life.

“Why don’t you wanna talk about it?”

It’s gotten him in trouble before. Many times. At home, at school, with his friends, the assholes that shoved him around in the hallways, against lockers.

“You talk about it with Robin,” he says. “Why is it such a big deal to talk about it with me? What’s your problem?”

He pushes. And prods. And pokes. And annoys the fuck out of whoever he’s talking to, until—

“Jesus, Eddie, I don’t fucking know, just fuck off.”

Eddie stares at him as he looks up at him. His eyes are gleaming, his brows are furrowed, and his cheeks are red, and he looks angry, and for some fucking reason it just pisses Eddie off.

“I wanna help you,” he snaps. “I know you like her, and you guys would be perfect for each other, fuckin’ mister and missus America—”

“I don’t fucking like her,” Steve almost shouts, and Eddie almost flinches back, the volume making its way under his skin, pulling at him and making him ache.

“What’s your fucking deal, Harrington?” He matches his volume.

Steve recoils like Eddie’s slapped him across the face, his eyes wide, and he blinks, his shoulders falling.

“Don’t call me Harrington,” he says weakly. Eddie exhales, staring at him. “You never call me Harrington.”

The door opens across the store, the bell shoving it dinging brightly, and Robin greets them with a cheerful, “Hey, dinguses.”

Neither of them look away, their eyes locked, and Eddie barely even heard Robin’s tentative, “What’s going on?” Steve looks like he might cry, his cheeks still flushed, his eyes shining, and Eddie scoffs, shaking his head and tearing his eyes away from Steve, ignoring Robin and heading to the door. It slams shut behind him.

His hands are shaking as he fumbles with his keys, biting his trembling lip as he slides into the driver's seat, and he looks up into the store as he starts the van. Robin is looking at Steve, confused, still holding her bag in her hands, and Steve is covering his face, holding a tape before he shouts something Eddie can’t hear and throws the tape across the store.

Eddie’s vision swims and he pulls out of the parking lot without buckling his seat belt.

———————

He doesn’t see Steve for another four days.

He doesn’t really have to. It’s not like they tend to hang out every day. (Every other day, maybe. Sometimes more. But they don’t have a strict schedule, and Steve doesn’t come inside when he drops the kids off at Eddie’s for Hellfire on Thursday.)

Four whole days.

Is it pathetic that he misses him? Probably. It’s only four days, but Eddie feels hollow, like something is missing just because he hasn’t heard Steve’s voice.

Steve seems to feel the same way, which doesn’t really make Eddie feel better, even though his heart fucking soars when he opens the door to his apartment to find Steve standing there, his hair damp from the rain. He’s somehow looking up at Eddie despite being almost the exact same height as him.

“Hi,” Eddie says quietly, holding the door open. Steve rocks up onto his toes, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket, and he glances past Eddie into the apartment.

“Is Wayne here?”

Eddie blinks, his heart falling, and Steve seems to notice it, because he hurriedly says, “I’m not— I just wanna talk to you, like, alone. I just… wanna make sure.”

“Oh.” Eddie blinks again. “No, he’s— he’s at work.”

“Okay.” Steve pauses, swallowing, swaying. “Can I… Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says after staring at him for a moment. “Yeah, come in.”

Steve exhales as he enters, pushing his hair back. His jacket is spotted with rain. Eddie forgot it was raining at all. He can’t hear rain much in this apartment. Unless it’s pouring.

“Talk,” Eddie says, heading into the kitchen. The kettle isn’t boiling yet, and he feels underdressed next to Steve, who’s wearing jeans and a tucked-in button-down, his jacket neatly pressed except for the rain. Eddie’s just in sweatpants and a grey sweater that’s two sizes too big.

“I, uhm.” Steve hesitates, taking a breath.

Eddie leans against the counter next to the stove, crossing his arms, looking up at him.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Steve says, leaning against the wall across from Eddie. It’s a small kitchen. Their feet are almost touching.

Eddie doesn’t say anything.

“I was…” Steve pauses, swallowing anxiously, his hands shifting in his pockets. “I was upset, and I lashed out at you, and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

Eddie looks into his eyes. They’re shining again. They always are.

“I don’t get why you were upset,” Eddie says quietly, feeling like he’s confessing something. He often doesn’t get why people feel certain things. Why people get annoyed at him for the things he does when he isn’t hurting anyone. Why people laugh when there’s nothing to laugh about. Why people get upset when he tries to help them.

Especially with something like all this with Steve. He and Nancy would be perfect together. Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington. White picket fence and a soccer team of children and yearly vacations and everything someone like Eddie Munson could never have.

He hasn’t told anyone that he doesn’t understand what they’re feeling in a long time. The last few times he told them they’ve scoffed and rolled their eyes and accused him of lying to get away with being an asshole, even when he was so adamant he worked himself to tears.

But Steve doesn’t do any of those things. He looks at Eddie and believes him.

“I don’t like Nancy anymore,” Steve says. He sounds close to tears. “And it just… pissed me off that you just didn’t believe me.”

He must see the doubt on Eddie’s face.

“I don't like her anymore,” Steve says. “I swear.”

Eddie looks back and forth between his eyes.

“I see how you look at her, Steve,” he says softly, and he wants to go throw himself out the living room window. Because he sounds so desperate, so fucking honest, and Steve can probably see right into him.

“How do I look at her?” Steve asks desperately, his head tilting forward.

“Like she’s perfect,” Eddie says, his arms uncrossing. The kettle is starting to boil, the whistle low and quiet. “Like she’s fucking flawless, like she’s… the fucking sunset or something.”

“Eddie,” Steve says weakly, his shoulders slumping.

“I don’t get it,” Eddie says adamantly. The whistle is growing in pitch. “I don’t get why you don’t like her, she’s— she is perfect, she’s the one for you—”

“No, she’s not,” Steve says angrily.

He doesn’t even seem to notice the kettle whistling loudly, screeching at them, and Eddie huffs, turning away.

“Jesus,” he mutters, turning off the burner. “What do you want from me, Steve?” he asks, pulling the kettle off the burner, feeling it vibrate as it whistles.

“I don’t want anything from you, I want you.”

The kettle falls quiet.

The kitchen is silent.

Eddie blinks at the kettle, the words washing over him like cold water, and he almost drops the kettle as he sets it down heavily. It lands loudly on the stove, clattering on the burner, and he turns around to look at Steve.

Steve’s eyes are wide as he realises what he’s just said, and Eddie isn’t breathing, and he’s trembling, and Steve takes a sharp breath before he turns away.

Eddie reaches out and grabs his shirt, pulling him back.

Except he doesn’t do that.

He yells, at the top of his lungs, as loud as he can, I want you too. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

Except he doesn’t do that either.

Steve leaves, slamming the door shut behind himself.

Eddie lets him.

———————

Six days.

Six fucking empty days.

Wayne notices that something is off, but he doesn’t ask, because he knows Eddie won’t tell. If he were to ask, Eddie would probably just burst into tears, and Wayne had never known what to do when Eddie cries. It’s not like Grandpa Munson was a touchy-feely guy. Wayne’s always just brought him tea and tissues and given him a hug if he wanted one.

Eddie covers it up when the kids come over to the apartment to hang out. Lucas tells him he asked Steve if he wanted to come up to say hi, but that Steve has errands to run. Eddie just quips that Steve is a big boy, all old and mature. The kids laugh, living in their sweet, sweet ignorance.

When the kids aren’t over, and Corroded guys aren’t over, he’s holed up in his room, staring at the ceiling with his headphones on. (He can’t use his speakers anymore because of complaints from the neighbours.) Trying to let the music drown out the words that are bouncing around his skull like a pinball.

I want you. I want you. I want you.

On the seventh day, Robin calls him.

He doesn’t want to answer the phone, but he trudges up out of bed, pushing his hair out of his face. He’s still wearing the same sweater.

She tells him the Party’s having a movie night at Steve’s.

Eddie’s chest aches at the sound of Steve’s name.

You’re gonna be there, she says, because she seems to know how his brain works better than anyone else he’s met. You’re gonna be there gets him to change his sweater.

His eyes meet Steve’s when he goes inside, but they both look away, and Eddie immediately swerves to the other side of the living room, scooping El into his arms and cackling evilly when she screams his name.

Steve sits with Robin on the sofa. Eddie can tell Robin knows something is up, but he can also tell that Steve hasn’t told her anything because she glances at Eddie, then at Steve, and Steve ignores her, his eyes trained on Dustin as he argues with Will about something.

The lights shut off when the movie starts.

Steve leans against the armrest of the sofa, Robin leans against him, and Nancy leans against her. Jonathan and Argyle are on the floor, Jonathan’s head on Argyle’s shoulder. The kids are all on the floor, tangled and piled on top of each other like a litter of puppies.

Eddie doesn’t even know which movie is playing. He keeps looking at Steve.

He feels like his veins are filled with wax, his body tense and stiff and so anxious he’s shaking a little bit.

I want you.

Eddie looks over at him again, the words echoing in his head, in the exact cadence and emphasis that Steve spoke in, adamant and angry and desperate.

Steve’s eyes meet his across the room. They’re shining. Reflecting the flashing lights of the movie.

Eddie tilts his head, gesturing silently, weakly, toward the kitchen.

Steve inhales, his jaw working, and he sighs quietly, squeezing Robin’s arm and moving to get up. She looks up at him, then at Eddie, then at Nancy, moving so Steve can get up, pulling Nancy closer.

Eddie gets up quietly, stepping behind the sofa so he doesn’t get in anyone’s view of the movie before he follows Steve down the hall to the kitchen, shutting the door behind them.

Steve crosses his arms when he enters the kitchen like he’s protecting himself, looking sulky and upset and so small it makes Eddie want to cry. He leans against the island, looking at the floor, biting his lip, and Eddie steps to be in front of him, leaning against the wall.

They're both quiet. Eddie can almost hear the movie, muffled and quiet through the door and down the endless hallway. Eddie can almost hear his own heartbeat. He listens to Steve’s breath.

“Did you mean it?” he asks softly, almost whispering.

Steve looks up at him, his eyes flicking back and forth between Eddie’s before he looks away, at the floor, his eyes moving like he’s looking for something.

“Steve,” Eddie says weakly when Steve doesn’t say anything. “Did you mean it?”

Steve takes a sharp breath, his lip trembling.

“Yes.”

Eddie exhales.

The floor is solid beneath his feet.

Holy shit.

He steps forward, looking at Steve’s face. His eyes are squeezed shut.

Eddie reaches up to his cheek, wiping away a tear, and Steve startles, his eyes flying open to look at Eddie, his eyes filled with tears, scared and desperate. He’s breathing hard, blinking.

“I want you too,” Eddie whispers.

“Don’t fuck with me right now, Eddie, please.” Steve’s voice squeaks, breaks and chokes, and Eddie reaches up to hold his face between his hands, wiping away the tears that fall from his eyes. Steve is gasping for breath, and Eddie presses a hand firmly against his chest as it rises and falls quickly.

“I’m not fucking with you, Stevie,” he murmurs. Steve’s hands grab at Eddie’s waist, gripping the fabric of his sweater. (This one is black.) He’s holding him too tightly, but Eddie doesn’t mind. “I want you, I’ve wanted you for so long.”

Steve closes his eyes hard, his brows furrowing as he pants, and Eddie leans close, pressing their foreheads together, murmuring to him. Breathe, Steve, slowly. You got it.

It takes a while for his breathing to slow, and Eddie slides his hand up his chest when it does, moving it up over the collar of his sweatshirt, over his neck, to his cheek.

“Why’d you push me to go with Nancy?” Steve chokes, blinking tears out of his eyes, and Eddie’s eyes burn, aching because he can’t explain it.

“I don’t…” He hesitates, shrugging weakly, holding Steve’s cheeks carefully, tenderly. He sighs, letting his head fall forward so their foreheads meet as he thinks. “Because boys like me don’t get things like this,” he says softly, quietly.

“Yes, they do,” Steve whispers.

Eddie’s eyes squeeze shut.

They’re quiet for a moment, sharing breaths, until Eddie slowly slides his hands across Steve’s neck, hugging him tightly, and Steve’s arms wrap around his waist, pulling him against himself harshly, strongly. A soft sound escapes Eddie’s throat, and his eyes burn more, and he buries his face in Steve’s neck as Steve’s shoulders shake.

Their friends are down the hall. Anyone could come in for chips or soda or water, and find them here, crying in each other’s arms, and the thought of the absurdity of it makes Eddie laugh. Steve’s hand slides over his back, holding him so tightly Eddie can barely breathe.

“Holy shit,” he breathes, burying a hand in Steve’s hair. “Holy shit, holy shit.”

“Eddie,” Steve says softly, pulling away and looking at him, and he lifts his hands to Eddie’s face, wiping his tears away so tenderly it just makes Eddie cry more.

Eddie’s eyes flutter shut when Steve pulls at his face, pressing a hard, lingering kiss to his mouth, and when they part, Eddie gasps, opening his mouth for him and pulling him closer until Steve kisses him again.

Steve’s hands reach down and pull at Eddie’s legs, picking him up with unfair ease, and Eddie clutches at him desperately as Steve turns to set him on the counter. Eddie’s legs wrap around him tightly, whimpering when Steve’s hands press to his back and waist and his hips.

“‘M sorry,” Steve breathes between frenzied kisses. “‘M so sorry.”

“Me too,” Eddie says, panting. “I’m sorry, Stevie, just… I need…”

“Breathe,” Steve says weakly. Eddie closes his eyes. He didn’t even realise it, but he’s gasping for breath, each one getting caught in his throat, hiccupping and choking, and he grips Steve’s shoulders tightly, so hard it probably hurts, but he can’t let go, and Steve doesn’t say anything except, “Breathe.”

Eddie hugs him tightly, desperately, and Steve hugs him back just the same, pressing a hand to the small of his back. Eddie is swaying back and forth, which he doesn't realise until after a few seconds, and he stops himself. It makes people seasick, distracts them, he's heard it all, and he's just gotten Steve's arms around him. He doesn't want to mess this up.

But Steve tugs at his back, stepping closer to the island so his chest is pressed to Eddie, and he starts to sway. Eddie buries his face in Steve's neck, his eyes stinging, and he lets Steve move him, weight dropping off his shoulders, his breaths coming out easier and easier until he's breathing normally. They don't stop swaying together, rocking back and forth slowly, carefully, until Eddie lifts his head and touches his face. His skin is tacky with drying tears, the streaks shining in the dim light of the kitchen. Eddie wipes them away before he leans in and kisses him softly.

"Do you wanna go finish the movie?" Steve asks when they part, his lips still brushing Eddie's as he speaks.

"I don't even know what movie it is."

"Me either. Do you wanna go be confused together?"

"Yeah. That sounds nice."

They pause to sip at a glass of water together before they head back to the living room, their fingers laced. No one pays them any mind except Robin, whose eyes catch their hands, and she raises an eyebrow, smiling up at Steve as he sits next to her again. Robin moves, nudging Nancy so she shifts to lean against the opposite armrest, and Eddie squeezes in between Steve and Robin. Steves's arm makes its way around Eddie's shoulders as they look at the television. (Eddie can't even guess what's happening in the movie.)

Eddie closes his eyes, leaning against Steve, pressing his face into his chest, and he pulls one of his legs up, setting it across Steve's. Steve pulls him in closer, tighter, his cheek resting on Eddie's head.

Eddie shifts to face him, nuzzling into his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist, cuddling as closely and as tightly as he can as he takes a long, deep breath and exhales slowly. Steve smells like his cologne. Eddie wants to keep the smell. Maybe find it on his pillows.

He falls asleep to the sound of Steve's heartbeat.

[randomlifex]

Invisibile string

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ‘♡’- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jang Hyunho x fem!reader

Sequel of Love isn’t a timely feeling

Plot:you have never been close to Hyunho, but why, after leaving the mafia game behind, there’s an odd feeling connecting the two of you?

Warnings:anxiety, panic attacks, references to death

Author’s notes:I know I have a few requests to publish, but the concept of the invisible string popped in my mind and decided to never leave until I wrote this sequel!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ‘♡’- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Life had been feeling strange since you left the mafia game. You didn’t have many memories of it besides the police kicking the door and handcuffing Seeun’s parents, the only thing that experience left you with was anxiety.

Your therapist said it was normal:your brain got so used to a fake reality that forgot how to live in the real world, so, as a sort of side effect, you would feel anxious, and you would perceive your everyday life as something different or odd.

The only thing comforting you was the knowledge that all your classmates were on the same boat as you, including Bora. Maybe her conditions were even worse than yours:she had multiple panic attacks and showed up at school only once or twice a week if she was lucky enough to get out of bed.

Without her, you would spend most of the time alone, having lunch at your desk while watching kdramas and funny videos on YouTube.

Sometimes you would meet your classmates’ eyes, they were all the same:empty, dark, confused; you were almost scared by the way they started at you, but you weren’t able to understand why. There was only one pair of pupils that seemed to look strangely kindly at you:Hyunho’s; but, again, you had no idea of the reason behind it.

You had never really talked to him, you ended up in the same team a few times during PE but he was the leader while you occupied the back lines, which was why you didn’t even have the chance to work close to him. All your interactions had always been brief and limited; however there was something tying the two of you together, like an invisible string…and he knew it.

He knew it because he kept looking at you, turning around when you noticed him; you even believed that he tried multiple times to talk to you but always stepped back when it was time.

Maybe you should’ve made a move, maybe you should’ve walked up to him and simply said hi like classmates normally do, but anxiety was holding you back. You had been thrown back to the real world only a few weeks before, so stepping outside of your comfort zone was still too much for you.

The last bell of the day rang, making your thoughts fade away. You collected your stuff and left, watching as your classmates ran downstairs.

Students flooded the hallway, pushing each other.

You found yourself stuck in a mess of bodies and loud noises:someone was laughing, someone was yelling, someone got called out by a few teachers.

You looked around, scared as you felt anxiety rising from the depths of your insides:you kept repeating to yourself that everything was alright, that you had been in that situation before, multiple times since you started attending high school, but there was nothing you could do to control that feeling. Your breath shortened, your heartbeat accelerated and your hands started sweating while holding the handrail. You felt dizzy, so you closed your eyes in hope to calm down, but you failed due to someone running past you, bumping onto your shoulder. It made you lose your balance, falling down the stairs.

Luckily, there were only a few steps left, so all you got were a bunch of scratches on your knees and a bloody hand. You tried to get up, but your head was spinning too fast while students either jumped over you or suffocated you with their bodies. You started coughing as you were having troubles breathing. For a moment you thought it was over; but then asomeone grabbed your shoulders.

“It’s okay, I’ll get you out of here” Hyunho said, helping you standing up. You wrapped your arms around his waist, still coughing with your head spinning fast. The boy kept you close while making his way though the students, leading you out of that hell.

In the corridor, away from the crowd, your legs yield. You held onto Hyunho’s shoulders, but there wasn’t much you could do since you were about to faint. Your classmate slid his hand under your legs, lifting your body up:

“I got you yn” he whispered softly, but you had no chance to reply as you blacked out.

When you woke up you found yourself lying on the bed of the infirmary, there were plasters on your knees and your hand was all bandaged up.

“Welcome back” Hyunho said, walking towards your bed and caressing your head

“What happened? My head aches” you sighed

“You passed due to a panic attack. The hallway was too crowded for your senses” he explained,gently moving your legs aside to sit on the edge of the bed

“Did you help me?”

“Of course I did, I couldn’t leave you there” he smiled, fixing the strand of your hair falling on your shoulders

“Thank you…” those words came out as uncertain. Everything was so odd. Why was he acting like that?

You looked at your hand, flexing your fingers:that pain was too familiar. Was your brain tripping?

“Slow down or later on it will hurt” Hyunho said,holding your hand in order to stop your movements. You looked at him confused.

“What are you doing?” you asked

“Trying to save you from an uncomfortable pain” he joked

“No -you paused, staring into his eyes- what are you doing?” you asked again

The boy left your hand, looking away:

“I don’t know. Since we escaped that game there’s something leading me to you” his eyes met yours. The two of you looked at each other for a while, then Hyunho caressed your cheek. Your body shivered in pleasure at that contact:his hand was soft and warm. He was so familiar.

“I know that feeling -you sat- and I’ve been thinking about the reason behind it, but I can’t tell” you talked

“Maybe there isn’t a reason, maybe it’s just another stupid side effect. You can’t keep your sanity after being kidnapped and forced to die multiple times in a deadly simulation”

“I don’t know -you gulped, the atmosphere had become so heavy- the only thing I know is that I’m cold. I need a blanket” you giggled, trying to tone it down.

Hyunho didn’t hesitate to take his hoodie off and put it on your shoulder. As soon as your skin met with the fabric of his clothes his scent embraced you. You didn’t know how to describe it, it was delicate and soft. So good but also so familiar…maybe even too much familiar.

Your head began to hurt even more, so badly that it seemed to be about to explode. A moan of pain escaped your lips. You covered your face with your hands, closing your eyes and praying that everything would pass quickly, but it didn't. On the contrary, suddenly your mind began to run and run and run:images darted and disappeared from before your eyes like lightning in the stormy sky. You could see Hyunho:first he was comforting you in a bathroom you didn't know, then he was healing your hand; one moment he was smiling arrogantly on a rooftop, the next moment, in that same place, he was weeping in despair with you. That was the last thing you saw; darkness followed after that. Paradoxically, however, everything was now clear:you remembered what you suffered in that game and, with that, you also remembered that your heart had begun to beat for Hyunho.

“Yn! Yn!” the boy called you, wrapping your shaky body in a warm embrace. How much you missed it. You rose your head, smiling through the tears:

“Now I remember” you said

“What are you talking about?” Hyunho wiped your tears away, confused

“Now I remember where that string comes from…”

“String? What string?”

“I love you, Hyunho -you said, cupping his cheeks- and I know you love me back, you just don’t remember it” you said, kissing his lips.

That was enough for the boy's mind to clear. As it happened to you, images flashed before his eyes like scenes from a movie. He, too, now remembered everything:he remembered the desire to see you smile another day, he remembered the fear of losing you and the need to hold you close to him. He remembered how he wanted to protect you and how much he suffered seeing your helpless body on the ground. He remembered how he had managed to frame Dabum, avenging you, and the frozen petals of the rose with which he had accompanied your body to the cold storage room. He remembered everything, and being able to hold you again seemed like a miracle to him.

His hands rested on your cheeks, bringing you closer, intensifying that desperate kiss you had begun. His tears of happiness mixed up with yours as your hands interwove in his hair.

“I missed you so much” Hyunho finally talked, putting a few strands of your hair behind your hear.

You smiled, getting slowly up just to sit on his lap and hug him. His arms were tightly wrapped around your body as your head rested on his shoulder. You closed your eyes, finally being able to enjoy the scent you loved the most in the world.

“This time I’ll never let you go” he said caressing your head

“This time I’ll never leave” you replied, burying your head in the crook of his neck.

You were happy and you knew it.

[dullgecko]

Exam results day today for me, so here's some hc on how the Bad Kids react to their grades:

Fig: Genuinely unbothered, the archdevil of rebellion in her doesn't respect any system to care. Besides, if she had ever been worried about her grades, she would have attended bard class occasionally!! She also knows full well that they won't fail her overall (she is literally a famous rockstar, that's the ideal for bardery!!!)

Riz: Treats his grades like one of his cases, he doesn't really react to when he (frequently) does extremely well, but a low grade might just destroy the perfectionist in him

Gorgug: I feel like he would be incredibly proud of himself regardless of the grade he gets from growing up with extremely supportive parents and also because he doesn't typically see himself as intelligent, so getting any sort of codified proof that he isn't dumb means a lot

Fabian: "Of course I passed, I'm Fabian Arameus Seacaster!" Is the front he puts on, but secretly he actually cares deeply and does worry that he isn't good enough, esp after Leviathan

Adaine: Worries. A lot. Her grades are near perfect, but that doesn't stop her. She probably actually knows exactly the grade she has going into the exam hall because /Oracle stuff/, but that doesn't stop the voice in her head panicking from when she lived with her parents, which jawbone probably finds out the hard way

Kristen: She pretends not to care about her grades and put on a tough girl attitude, but they actually matter to her more than she will admit even to herself, the part of her mind still clinging to being Helio's chosen still seeking that approval

Fig could probably argue to get her final grades in her bard classes changed. In fact, the principal would respect that she had the gaul to even try. She's right, she IS a famous rock star. Isnt that the goal of these classes? She doesnt care enough to go that far though, she passed the last stand and is dropping out with an A grade to live that rockstar/archdevil life.

Riz would have a full-blown meltdown over a bad grade. He already might not be able to afford to go to college, and he's a goblin, so he has to maintain that A+ average. He studies extreamly hard, and does all his extra curriculars, AND is helping Kristen with her presidential stuff. If he werent so goddamn impressive the rogue teacher would give him a bad grade just so he'll try to break into the schools systems to change it (which coincidentally would give him enough extra credit to make it an A+ again).

Gorgug has so many people calling him stupid that it just slides right off his back. He's pretty good at rolling with the punches, so if he gets a bad grade he just doubles down on his studies and does extra well the next time.

Fabian is one of those kids who pretends they didnt study for the exam, but secretly studied so so much. He wants to make his parents proud, and if he cant be EFFORTLESSLY perfect in his schoolwork he'll at least make it seem like it's effortless. The Lofi study nights at the manor helped with this a lot, because he could study while still making it look like it was just to help other people.

Adaine worries so much that she gives herself panic attacks even if she KNOWS all the material on the exam. Jawbone advocates for her though, so she gets to take most of her exams in a quiet room and gets extra time. For the ones where she has to do it with her classmates though the councilor is always there to help supervise just in case she has a meltdown.

Kristen struggles a lot with her classes but she's at least managing a decent C average. She feels horrible about it though, because even though she studies she cant bring the grade up. She just has a lot of trouble focusing and should probably talk to Jawbone about it.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi! I really loved your stories and I saw that your requests are open! Can I request gavriel with crush!reader having nightmares and panic attacks and he comforts her? Maybe stays with her and it happens again and they confess to each other? 👉🏻👈🏻

Thank you for the love! It means a lot.🤍This is slightly different then the request but I hope you'll still like it.🤍

Chase it all away

Gavriel was willing to wait. With so much experience and so many years lived he had swooned over many females. Shared bed with even more and considered himself having a crush so many times he didn't have enough fingers to bend.

But you felt different the moment he saw you. Maybe it was your much younger spirits, maybe your kind eyes. But all of a sudden Gavriel felt as if he was a young fae boy, only just learning what female attention was. What the butterflies in the stomach meant. That waiting for someone else's glance made you anxious, full of hope, and almost defenseless.

"Lion turned into a kitty cat", Fanrys sighed dramatically, smirking over the rim of his cup. Gavriel drew his eyes back to the table, positioned in the back of the pub, tucked away slightly, providing some privacy for the males and their conversations. "Watch your mouth pup", the older male warned, only causing a bigger smirk to paint the white wolf's lips. Because Gavriel was never defensive, he was calm and cool. His emotions were always intact. Always calculated, he was a true father figure to most, a nurturing yet strict kind. So watching him all distracted and lost in his thoughts was a first.

"I still think you should go and talk to her", the fact that Lorcan even bothered to be a part of this discussion, made Gavriel shake his head. "Do you bunch have nothing better to do?", he lifted his cup of ale to his lips and his eyes wandered off again. Managing to find you with no more than a quick scan of the room. "Oh come on now, you like her. Time is cruel to us all, go get her tiger", Fenrys purred. Gavriel bumped his knee under the table causing Fenrys cup to slide down, liquid pouring all over his clothes, "Mind your business, boy".

And so Gavreil suppressed it all. All gone were the glances. The smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He managed to push it all back and paint the picture that nothing was there to look at. No emotions. No desire. No flustered hearts.

"I thought you wouldn't come for a moment", Gavriel was leaning against the back wall, right as you approached, quickly pulling the hood off your head. Truth was, you've been his for some time. Well, kind of his. The worrier was just so terrified of these new feelings that he kept it all hidden from the noisy people. "Have I ever stood you up", even if your words were supposed to carry bits of humor, Gavriel sensed the shift immediately.

His fingers were under your chin intensely, lifting your head, so the moon would cast its light upon you, letting him scan your features.

"What's going on?", your crystal-like eyes looedk up at the older male in front of you. The idea was to hide it. Even if Lia, your coworker, bluntly pointed out that you are dealing with a male who had lived over six hundred years. But it wouldn't hurt to try, right? So you shake your head slightly. Hoping that he would just drop it.

"Darling, I won't push you but... did something happen?", and it's his eyes that are deadly in this fight. It's Gavriel's caring gaze that has you leaning into his chest as the first tears threaten to roll down your cheeks. Gavriel wraps you up without hesitation. His initial reaction is to look around for any threats. Has anyone lingered at the pub? Caused trouble? Hurt you in any way?

"Just...", you hiccuped suddenly finding it hard to breathe. "Easy love, easy", Gavriel's touch is gentle even if he knows that his hand would be a deadly weapon if he found the one responsible for causing you so much distress. "I had this dream. Someone...", you mutter quietly, "Someone followed me, and now...", you look back quickly, and Gavriel's eyes dart up as well, "He was there", you whisper shout.

Gavriel pulls you behind him instantly, a low growl slips past his lips. He's a hunter at heart and has the desire to slip into the dark alley you just came from. To go and kill every single breathing creature there. He takes a step forward but then halts. You're here. He would be leaving you alone. Upset. Scared and shaking. So he spins back around.

"Drink this", Aelin pushes a cup of tea closer to you. Back to the family house. That's where he took you. A place that no one else was supposed to know of but Gavriel had to. Had to even if Rowan was more than unhappy at first. Not to mention that Gavriel coming back with a girl took them all by surprise.

"Hey, now you're safe", Aelin gently clasps your hand, looking ahead just like you. All the males standing in the corner of the room. The sour expression not leaving Gavriel's face. And it's so strange because, in all of your lifetime, no one had ever cared so much. No one had made it their priority to protect you. Keep you away from harm's way and Gavriel is there telling his closest friends everything in hopes of getting their help.

A couple of males, you don't know the name of, slip out of the room. But not before you see the gleam of daggers in their hands. What will they do? Gavriel closes the distance between you. Gently running his hand through your hair as he kneels closer to you. "How are you, sweetheart?", his tone is low as his tawny eyes piercing through your soul. "Don't go", you whisper. Because something inside you is telling you that he as much as anyone wanted to hunt that creep down.

Gavriel's eyes soften and he's about to object but Rowan cuts in, "I think that's for the best", but Gavriel is shaking his head. He has to go there himself. "You trust yourself enough to not lose control?", Rowan pushes again. Something in Gavriel's expression changes as if he too only now noticed how on edge this all had him. Your hand reaches out to him and he swiftly pulls it closer to his lips, placing a loving kiss there before he nods. Rowan nods back and with a quick kiss on Aelin's temple slips back out to catch up with the others.

Gavriel ushers you up to his room as soon as you're done with your tea. You seem calmer but the moment you're in bed your nerves are at high alert. You can't keep your eyes closed for longer than a couple of minutes. Flinching at any sound outside the door. Gavriel is at war with himself because yes you two had been kind of seeing one another but nothing was official and neither of you had said anything regarding your situation. And yes he had hugged you before but bringing you to his embrace like this. In his bed. Seemed like something you might not be ready for.

But after a third time of you jumping up Gavriel slowly inches closer. You feel the heat from his palm before you feel it touch you. And then he's carefully holding onto your upper thigh as he drags you closer to his body, draping your leg over his lap, pulling you to his side. Your hands sneak to wrap around his middle and you let out a content sigh. Gavriel moves to run his fingers through your hair, twirling the ends before moving to another strand.

"I'll always keep you safe", he mutters making you look up at him, "I know and that's why I like you so much", you lean in, nuzzling closer to his neck. Leaving a soft kiss on the side of his neck. "That's the only reason why you like me?", he teases playfully, and you can't help a tired chuckle at how suddenly prideful he got. "No... You're not too bad to look at too. Not to mention that your hot", your eyes suddenly shot open as you realized how that sounded, and the male-only let's out a laugh, "Hot, huh?", "As in warm Gavriel, as in warm", and you're thankful that your face is in the crook of his neck because your cheeks are burning.

[ellemfaoh]

Pinball, Hair, and Detention Epilogue | Vance Hopper x Reader

(I’m too lazy to link all the other parts rn)

Word Count: 2.1k

Genre: Fluff, Comfort, Recovery

Content Warnings: Shitily Written Panic Attacks, Out Of Character Vance

Summary: You go back to school shortly after your discharge from the hospital but now everything is different. Classmates, teachers, faculty, and parents see you differently; but in a positive way. You’re the badass who got rid of the Grabber, the badass who escaped what could’ve been certain death, the badass that’s crazy paranoid now and behaves totally different from before.

A/N: A short epilogue to Pinball, Hair, and Detention was requested; so naturally I’d write it. The love I got for this series was crazy and I’m glad you all liked it! I’ll be working on some of my requests after this, so expect some oneshots now.

——————————————

Discharge from the hospital and adjustment into normal life again was very weird. You hadn’t seen your town in just over ten days so it couldn’t have changed much—but in your eyes everything was different. Cars parked on the street were swimming with malice, shortcuts you had once taken through the small town were traps waiting for some dumb kid to come through, and adults who stared at you for longer than a glance were people who were plotting your kidnapping. You’d started therapy with the hospital psychiatrist weekly on Friday afternoons and she was a great help in getting you started to what would soon be your ‘norm’ again.

Walking into school alongside your friends was what she had suggested and it helped a ton. Bruce kept you too occupied to focus on the attention you got in the hallway. You didn’t hear the whispers of ‘(Y/N) is actually back?’ or, ‘She actually lived? That’s crazy.’

“And then Amy threw my ball into our neighbors backyard! Imagine how embarrassed I was when I tried to quickly hop the fence and saw Mrs. Francis sunbathing.”

You laughed, patting Bruce’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you just knock on her door and ask for it back?”

The boy paused in step, his mind running because he clearly didn’t think that incident through. “Oh.”

You both walked down the hall for a little more as you waited for school to start, Bruce doing a good job distracting you while you did a good job in attracting attention. It wasn’t like it was on purpose—people just wanted to talk about the kid who escaped The Grabber and clearly didn’t think how their words might make you feel. When the bell rang and students started rushing through the halls to get to their classes, you sighed. You supposed one bonus of getting kidnapped for around a week was that you missed school.

“I’ll catch you up on everything Biology, don’t worry (Y/N).” Bruce smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulder in a sort of protective manner as he brought you close to him. “No need to fear, the ever charismatic and heroic Bruce Yamada will be your biggest helper.”

“Gee, I’m so excited.” You said in a sarcastic manner.

You tried to ignore the prickling feeling of stares on your back. You couldn’t help but pay special attention to the staring now—all it reminded you of was the masked man sitting close or far from you as he watched you ‘sleep.’ Your hand squeezed Bruce’s a little tighter, a subconscious effort to feel close and comforted by your friend.

——————

You barely made it to lunch when Vance approached you. It was weird when he didn’t show up for all of second period, but you just assumed he was skipping or got in trouble or something. You had been walking over to the cafeteria line when the blonde put his hand on your shoulder, a gruff but gentle ‘hey’ coming from him before you swung around and punched him in the chest.

It took you a moment to stop hearing the rushing of blood in your ears and instead hear Vance’s grunts of pain, your eyes wide. “Holy shit, Hopper! Why’d you sneak up on me like that?! Are you okay? What the hell is wrong with you?!”

There were people watching you both, the many conversations summing up to: (Y/N) Can totally rock Vance Hopper’s shit!

You helped Vance stand up from his place on the floor, a hand pressed over his chest. You definitely winded and bruised the poor guy. He looked at you and smacked the back of your head in revenge. You didn’t have the energy to get involved in a mini-brawl with him right now, and you thought that by the end you two would have some sort of weird tension going on. No one knew that you and Vance were kinda-sorta-seeing-each-other (though Bruce had a suspicion), so you two were keeping it kind of secret.

Everyone knew Vance had helped you get out of the basement, so when you two were with each other people seemed to go crazy. You heard whispers from kids about how you both ‘probably plotted on getting famous together so they set it up,’ or about how ‘Vance was so heroic and it was an enemies to lovers story bound to happen.’ Surprise surprise, the second person was right.

“Hey, you mother fuckers better stop whispering about that Grabber bullshit. If (Y/N) and I could kill that bastard then you guys will be cakewalks.”

Being on good terms with Vance had its perks now.

——————

When you were walking through the hallways to get to the bathroom when it happened. As you walked through the dim and fluorescent lit hallways, an eerie feeling crawled up your spine at the awkward silence on your shoes against the linoleum tiles under you. You refused to look at the floor because of that. It was the same pattern as that stupid fucking basement. Life seemed to be taunting you—especially because when you walked into the bathroom, some asshole kid jumpscared you, grabbing you by the shoulders as a loud scream echoed around the hallways. Wait, that was your scream.

A teacher ran over to you crouched on the floor, your head in your hands as you sat there rocking on the balls of your feet, thick and heavy tears dripping down your face as you whispered and mumbled to yourself. You heard quick footsteps rushing to where you were, a very concerned Vance by your side in almost an instant.

“You aren’t there anymore, it was just some dickhead (Y/N), don’t worry.”

“I hate high school.” You mumbled, your breathing finally starting to even out as you calmed down. It didn’t take long to calm down, but you didn’t exactly like yourself breaking down in the middle of a hallway in the middle of the school day.

“Woah, (Y/N) is crying in the middle of the hall.” You heard.

“Isn’t she like, hardened by that kidnapping thing? What’s up with her?”

“Some kid jumpscared her. Give her a break.”

You stood up and quickly wiped your tears, face red and puffy but your eyes were angry. What a cruel fucking joke that you’d be stuck with all these issues after escaping something. It was supposed to be a miracle. It was supposed to be unbelievable luck. It was bullshit. “I wanna go home.”

——————————————

It had been about a week since that incident in the hallway, you were sitting at your table with Bruce and a few of his friends, Vance right next to you as well. Ever since that incident you weren’t super nice or any sort of nervous. You were a little more closed off, a little more paranoid your peers were pitying you or making fun of you. Kids seemed to talk less about you openly, people avoided you a little more—not because they were scared, but because you seemed untouchable. If someone did something wrong, would you lash out or start panicking?

Being around your friends was the closest people would get to seeing you ‘normal.’ You laughed with them like you did before and seemed to be less closed off. You kept your hair the same style it had become when Vance cut it—a sort of reminder to yourself that you needed to grow before letting yourself change. It was some sort of weird trauma thing.

You were talking with Bruce and his baseball friend Jason about something involving biology when Vance noticed it. You didn’t seem to be really grounded to anything around you—more like your body was there and your mind was elsewhere. As you laughed along with the two boys, Vance’s hand slowly slid on top of yours that was resting on the bench next to you, a small squeeze coming from him. He was there for you—he just hoped you realized it. When you only glanced at him and didn’t reciprocate, the blonde knew something was wrong. He needed to talk to you privately.

——————

Nine-something-PM at night, your bedside lamp the only thing turned on, a quiet murmur of music in the background as your record played your favorite song ‘Fox on the Run.’ The ambiance was great for your mind to be a bundle of thoughts and nerves, your head on your pillow and Albert’s mask in your hand. You hated the guy, you were glad he was dead, yet in a weird way you wanted to keep the mask. The police found the other pieces to it in his house, but they didn’t find the angry eyes portion in the bush just outside of the broken basement window. You had walked by his house a few days after your hospital discharge and remembered it, so you picked it up and left quickly afterwards.

“If I could kill you again with the full satisfaction of seeing you die, then I would.” You told the mask, rolling over and dropping it under your nightstand. “Should I have died there too?”

You heard a knock of something against your window, an aggressive chill running down your spine. Who got your address? Was someone coming to kidnap you? Was someone coming to finish Albert’s job?

“Open the window, (Y/N).” Oh, it was just Vance.

You laughed to yourself and pushed the window up, leaning on the windowsill and looked at the blonde in front of you. “Oh Romeo, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

His hand gripped the sides, pulling himself in while simultaneously pushing you out of the way. When he was standing in your room he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and leaned his head against yours. “I’m afraid I’ve noticed something dreadful.” You loved when he played along with your jokes. Your grade had recently started to study Romeo and Juliet in English, and it was also the thing you and Vance had recently started to make fun of.

“And what might that be?”

“You’re different.”

Your stomach lurched. What did he mean? Does everyone think this way? Are you failing at going back? Are you never gonna be “normal” again?

“Ha…what do you mean Vance?”

He stared at you, his hands on your shoulders and eyes searching yours. “You aren’t fully ‘there’ whenever you talk with people, you seem way more closed off than you used to be, and you’re way more paranoid—which makes sense.”

His words hit you. They hit you hard. The paranoia was normal from what the doctors said, but you couldn’t explain or rationalize the other parts. How aren’t you interacting normally? How are you not fully there? You laugh when you should and chime into the conversation when you need to.

“I don’t get it.” You said, pulling away and flopping on your bed. “I’ve been trying so hard to go back to normal…what am I doing wrong?”

There was a beat of silence before you felt added weight on your side, Vance’s body pushing against yours as he grabbed your hand. For such a rough and tough delinquent, he really was quite gentle. There were another few moments of quiet before he spoke again, pressing the back of your hand to his lips. You two were slowly getting used to each other and your feelings, so it was nice to know you were a little closer now.

“This is your new normal. You’ll get used to it.” Your eyes were teary, curling into the boy. “You got kidnapped and almost murdered, your brain changes a bunch because of that.”

“Wow, are ya the new brain doctor around here?” You laughed, feeling him flick your forehead. “Alright alright, I’ll stop.”

The blonde pulled you into a hug and laid there, his hands around your waist. You were a little shocked at first, but it subsided and you started to run your fingers through his hair, laying in his arms as the song playing quietly in the background came to an end.

“I’ll help you out when you need it.”

You just mumbled something unintelligible in his chest, finally falling asleep easily against Vance. Maybe it was having him here that made you feel safe, or maybe it was that someone that wasn’t a shrink actually knew what was up with you. When your snores started up and your breathing evened out, Vance finally curled into you as well as the ever-diligent big spoon, not expecting to hear the faintest rattle of a ring. Your room phone wasn’t ringing, so what could it have been?

His hand slid under your pillow and felt the sleek plastic, pulling out the black receiver with a confused look. Why did you have this under your pillow? He put the item against his ear out of curiosity, his hand that was rubbing small circles in your back slowing down.

“Hello?”

“You clever kids really got me good.” A raspy voice called out from the other end. “You’re quite the pair, enjoy the rest of your tormented lives.”

Vance pulled the phone away when Albert started cackling, throwing the phone away from him and to the other side of the room. His heart was beating too fast for his liking and his chest was heaving, the voice of his tormentor ringing in his head. After a moment, he looked down at you and hugged you extra tight, pulling away for a moment and staring down at you. He was prepared to die just to save you when you were both locked in that shifty basement. After a moment he leaned down and pressed his lips to your own. He didn’t know why, but with the overwhelming emotions coursing through his body, this was the one that slipped out. Unfortunately, or fortunately, you were woken from your doze, smiling at the boy when he pulled away.

“Well well, thank you Prince Charming. You’ve saved me from my slumber.” You teased, threading your fingers into his hair and pulling him back down into a kiss. “It’s about time. What were you freaking out about?”

Vance looked down at you, his hands on either side of your head. Should he tell you? Nah. With a chuckle at his decision, he pressed a quick peck on your lips and stared at you. “If I said that I was so worked up because of you, would you believe me?”

You pushed him away with a squeal, rolling over onto your stomach and hiding under your covers, laughing loudly when he pounced on top of you and started tickling you.

Taglist

@finneysbaseball @bxtchboy69 @marcspector4ever @lanadelraystan @slutsforsturnistolos @riddlersh0e @onyxzombie @annoying-anna @crustlover @andreeasancheez @tmd-narnia14 @boogieman20 @mandy-bo-bandy @drownedskelly @marimarvelfan @urgworl @hvnatahyugasblog @killualover7 @fran-xes @choptopssonnybono @edenthebean @cookierooki @hebrokeimup @foodpills @tw-inkl-e-tit-s @parker-natasha @graywrites20 @retirement-home @starfleshwherew0lf @pl4net-neptune @reblogged-fandoms @ureleesian @annamonstersstuff @nayasshits @veronalie @otrausuariamas @ynbutbetter @frogtits1 @kpopslur @ahmya-4 @expired-avacado @d3w-nurs3 @munsons-girl

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 26 here/ Series Masterlist

Chapter 27

Summary : Loki's ex fiance brings trouble.

Warning: 18+, Smut, HUGE Canon divergence(Just me making shit up), masturbation, dry humping mention of stalking, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, ptsd, self deprecating behaviour, panic attack, soft precious bean loki, polite bean Loki

That night Loki was taken to a group meeting where he was instructed of things he would have to do in order to repent for the crimes, under the influence of Thanos or not, so many lives were destroyed by his actions and Loki himself wanted to redeem himself, he remembered how much people hated him but somehow he had managed to win the hearts of the people of Midgard but then he remembered Melissa. He was hoping he would not run into her this time.

He already had to deal with the matter of his ex fiance.

You couldn't sleep at all that night, you called your mother and told her that you were staying at a friend's house since your apartment had mold problems and you also told her that your phone was broken because you knew she'd continue to call and will get suspicious sooner or later.

Things seemed messy, your mother was back to hating him again and this time you had no idea how will you tell her again, you couldn't share anything with Mrs Geller and you missed Jane terribly.

Next morning you woke up to the phone ringing so you picked it up thinking that it was your mother.

"Y/n? It's Steve Rogers, I am leaving for Minesotta" you sat up as he said that.

"Umm okay..good luck and have a good journey and i hope you will find your friend"

"You pray for that y/n" you squeezed your eyes as he said that. Once he hung up you quickly showered and put on a summer dress, you missed Loki terribly, it felt like a heartbreak all over again, you knew you had him still, you knew his heart belonged to you but there was a fear eating you up, a gut feeling that something was going to go wrong. As you stepped into the dining area you found Loki, he was in earth people clothing and you always found him adorable like that, but he was accompanied by Thor as well as Natasha, Tony, Clint and Bruce, they were having a meeting of sorts so you didn't want to interrupt them. You turned around to leave but Thor had seen you already,

"Lady y/n" you stopped and turned around and everyone was just staring at you so you smiled awkwardly, your eyes met with Loki and you quickly averted your gaze, the way he was fucking you with his eyes wasn't helping at all.

"Come have a meal with us" Thor said.

"Ummm I think you guys are busy with some top secret Avengers business so I'll come back later" you mumbled nervously.

"We were just talking about the shawarma we had the other day" Tony said so you walked back to the table and took the empty chair next to Thor, there was a space next to Loki available but you didn't want to look suspicious.

"I love shawarma, the chicken one with the garlic sauce and beetroot is the best" you mumbled and you could feel their eyes on you.

"I don't like that, I like the one with tahini" Natasha mumbled as she munched on her pancakes.

"That is absolutely a good choice" you answered her, she looked so intimidating even having a normal conversation. You couldn't help but wonder if they were all the same in other universes, you wondered if all of them were good guys, heroes, the most of all you wondered if your lives were interconnected in those other universes as well.

Sometimes it was hard to process this turn of events in your life, eight months ago or should you say two days ago in this timeline you were living a completely harmless boring dead life where you had no hope or dreams for future and now you were sitting in the Avengers tower discussing the type of shawarma you liked. What the hell happened?

"Brother what are you doing?" You turned your head to look at Thor as he said that and Loki seemed horrified.

"Nothing, what do you mean?" Loki gulped.

"Why were your toes rubbing against my shin?" You burst out into a laughter as Thor said that, others did as well but Loki was so embarrassed, that sweet poodle, you really needed to hug him and kiss him as soon as possible.

"I have done no such thing brother" he answered before he went back to eating, in order to comfort him you took your heels off and rubbed over your toes up and down on his shin just like last night. The pink shimmer of embarrassment from his cheeks has faded and a smile returned to his face as he felt your touch.

After breakfast you went back to your room, if Steve would find Bucky soon then you'd have no business being here but you didn't want to leave just yet. You couldn't leave him here because you knew they won't allow him to go anywhere, Thor wouldn't take him to see you now that he had no memory of you two ever meeting.

You had to come up with something to prolong your stay here.

You stepped out of your room at the supposed lunch time wishing to run into Loki again but you weren't ready to see what you did. You found Loki, Thor and the bunch of Avengers along with tens of other people you didn't recognise, you did recognise Dalia though. There was a woman dressed in a princess gown, loaded with jewels from head to toe clutching onto the love of your life, he stood there awkwardly with his arms barely touching her waist as he tried to comfort her.

"It wasn't until that you left my beloved is when I came to the conclusion that you Loki, my love, you are all I need in my life, you're the man I want to spend the eternity with" she pulled away to speak and he opened his mouth to say something but then his eyes met with yours and he was completely baffled, you seemed hurt and he never wanted to put you through such pain ever again, he didn't understand why fate kept coming between you two. He also didn't understand why Atrishia visited him now, she never came in the previous timeline but then the previous timeline was never supposed to exist.

"Prince Loki why are these mortals staring at us? Can we go somewhere private?" She asked him so he nodded and she hooked her arm in the crook of his elbow as they left for his room.

He had hoped for her to move on because he had come so far from that place, they were never even in love with each other, even their engagement ceremony consisted of them barely speaking to each other, sure they had a rendezvous here and there but the spark just wasn't there, he never felt the toe curling heat that he experienced with you, the marriage was a political alliance, she knew that and he did too.

Before he met you he never felt that need for a partner he'd want to love day in and out but now that he had you he knew he couldn't even imagine being with someone else, he craved his father's approval but now it didn't matter to him as much as you did.

"I can not comprehend how you and Prince Thor can live here, it is so warm and crowded and mortals are so …erratic" She let out a chuckle

As soon as they reached his room, he turned to her and took a deep breath.

"Lady Atrishia i need to tell you something"

"What is it?" She looked at him curiously and he had no idea what to say to her, he couldn't tell her about you just yet, Strange has said to not tell anyone anything.

"I'm afraid I can not continue with this union of us, i reckoned that you must have carried forward with your life, i was considered dead for more than a year" he said nervously, his voice was soft but formal.

"And I have yearned for you every single day Loki, when I learned of your demise a part of me died as well. You have no indication of the predicament i have suffered through during the time, but you are alive and that is all that matters " she hugged him tightly again and he squeezed his eyes as he didn't know how else to push her away, he didn't want to be cruel to her, he was betrothed to her and he knew he had a responsibility here, breaking an engagement wasn't something that the royals took lightly. He knew she would be ridiculed for it.

"Princess Atrishia, i appreciate the concern and i apologize for every hurt that i have caused you or will do so in future but I am not in love with you and I am assured that you are not either" she chuckled and pulled away as he said that.

"Not in love with me? What is that supposed to mean Loki? I didn't come so far for you to tell me that you do not feel love for me, you will learn to love me Loki" she said to him so he took a step back from her.

"That is not how it is going to be now, I am sorry"

"You should be apologetic Loki, for offending me so when I went through all this trouble, when I have spent every night wailing for you to come back, our union was arranged and nothing has changed, you will come around Loki" she insisted and he was starting to feel offended by the sudden change in her tone.

"No I will not, my heart is not yours , it never was, the union was arranged by our families but I'm not the same man any longer, i have changed, i desire love and i have found it in someone, I am sorry"

Her eyes teared up as he said that, he felt bad about her situation but he wasn't going to hurt you any more, not for her or Odin or Frigga, after everything you two thad been through, he wasn't just going to let it all slip away from him again.

"Well who's she? Have you fallen for another princess?"

"Yes but She's not an Asgardian or from Vanaheim"

"Then who, Loki? Who else is there that you have given your heart to?"

"I'm not ready to reveal that information, you need to let go of this union and move forward, for all the hurt that I have caused you I really am deeply apologetic for the same" she crossed her arms and glared at him as he said that. She stormed out of his room and he sighed and then he followed her back into the living area

"Prince Thor, i would love to stay here for a while, arrange a feast for me, would love to experience a Midgardian celebration" she smiled at him so he grabbed her hand and gave it a formal kiss. He looked at Loki and Loki shook his head slightly but he couldn't just deny the Princess, this was her first visit.

"Come i will take you to your private chamber" Thor said to her as he gave out his arm for her to hold on to and she glared at Loki as they walked past him.

Loki looked around but you weren't there anymore and he was worried about you. He quickly went back to his room and then he teleported straight to yours, he found you on the bed all curled up, crying your heart out, the broken sniffles rendered his heart. You already had several insecurities and he was afraid he had brought them to the surface again.

He crawled on the bed and as soon as you felt him around you, you turned on your back to look at him.

"There you are" he whispered softly as he got on top of you, cupping your cheeks he wiped your tears but you were just staring at him mindlessly as if you couldn't believe that he was there.

"How did you get here" you felt his thumb rubbing against your cheek softly and he gave you a smile, just being able to hold him felt surreal again, his scent intoxicated you and made your mind go all hazy as soon as he was in such close proximity.

"Teleportation" he mumbled as he leaned down and kissed you softly, your fingers curled around his neck as he pulled away, you brought him back to you and kissed him feverishly, it felt like ages since you had touched him last even though it's barely been three days.

"God i have missed you" he hummed in agreement as you said that "Do you really remember everything or it's just me that remembers everything and you just have like bits and pieces of the memories?" You asked him as you sniffled so he kissed you

"I remember everything darling, from the moment I laid my eyes upon you to the moment we were seperated i remember each and every little thing we experienced. I remember becoming friends, best friends, then lovers, i remember the heartbreak and the fears we both had, i remember the dreams, I'm here my darling, I'm here" you nodded in desperation as he confirmed everything, not that you doubted him but you were feeling extremely insecure at the moment.

"The dress..you make it look beautiful my love" you smiled at the compliment, your legs hooked around his waist and he moaned slightly at the closeness, he had been wanting to hold you and do other dirty things with you, your presence here but him not being able to touch you was killing him.

You lifted your head up and pressed kisses on his neck, he put his hand behind your head to give you support so you weren't straining your neck like that. The way you were sucking on his skin, he knew you'd leave him all marked, it would heal soon so he didn't mind it either, if you felt territorial about him then he was going to allow you to do whatever you wanted, he needed you to know that you owned him.

"I am all yours my princess" you pulled away as he said that.

"What about the princess…the real one?"

"You're my real princess"

"And i love to be but we have to talk about the princess in the living room" he chuckled as you said that.

"I told her my heart wasn't mine any longer"

"You did?" You looked at him surprised as if he wasn't ready to destroy the multiverse for you.

"I did, I do not understand why she is staying though but I promise she won't be a trouble"

"I do feel kinda bad for her, i have been in a situation where I wasn't..picked or chosen and it hurts alot"

"I know it does, I know how it feels but I can not hurt you or our relationship just to protect her newly found feelings, we were not companions, we barely even knew each other, she didn't even come see me when I was losing it all over there" he let out a exasperated sigh as he finished his sentence so you scratched his scalp and he immediately melted into the touch.

"She knew?"

"Of Course she did, i became the King of Asgard, she must have heard"

You nodded as he said that. Maybe he was trying to make you feel better because the way she was holding onto him out there, she really seemed desperate for him.

"Maybe she was just confused about it all"

"Perhaps you are right but I know if it was you, you would have come for me, you would have come to save me"

Your eyes teared up again as he said that.

"I would come for you, anywhere anytime" you took his shirt off and the double innuendo didn't go amiss.

"Can I make love to you my darling?" He whispered in your ears and you bit on your lips as you nodded with utter desperation, tucking his hair to the side you kissed his neck again, his hands roamed over your thighs and he took your underwear off, your back arched as you felt his fingers on your wet lips, sometimes it was hard to wrap your mind around the fact that a man like him desired you this way.

Even after everything that had happened it was still incomprehensible to accept that he really wanted you and you only.

You unbuttoned his pants and pulled his cock out to stroke him slowly, he let out pretty little moans that you have been dying to hear again.

"I'm so glad you remember lo, i wasn't ready to lose you"

"I'm so happy you remember as well darling" his voice came out all breathy as the sensation in his belly grew, he was so desperate for you and he hoped you knew exactly how much he needed you like this. He made you arch your back so he could unzip the dress and pull your breasts out of the confinement, his lips latched onto your right nipple, you almost lost your train of thoughts as he sucked on them slowly one by one.

"So perfect, you are ethereal my princess" he mumbled before he licked your nipples one more time and all of a sudden he stopped and pulled away a little as he realised something.

"What's wrong?" You asked him but your hand kept stroking him.

"I uhhh.. norns darling you have to stop so I can Think" you bit on your lips as he said that.

"You want me to stop? Really?" You gave him a naughty smile and he placed his hand on yours, brought them both over your head and you felt him rubbing his cock over your lips.

"No I want us to keep going sweet girl" you moaned as his precum smeared on your clit, your body felt on fire and you wanted to keep burning in this flame. Forever and ever.

"Norns I need to stop" he let go of your hands and sat up on his knees so you looked at him with a perplexed look on your face for a second and then sat up as well, while he buttoned his pants you pulled the straps of your dress over your shoulders.

"Everything okay lo? You are worrying me" you chuckled nervously so he cupped your cheeks and kissed you softly.

"I don't have a protection"

"What?"

"Condoms, don't have it" your brows furrowed and it took you a second before you realized that he didn't have a condom in his vault. He only got them once you both had agreed to be more than friends, nothing like that happened in this timeline.

"Ohh…that..is a bummer" you pressed your lips together in disappointment so he smiled.

"It is alright" he said so you climbed on his lap and he was taken aback by the sudden urgency but he smiled as you sat right on his crotch and your arms wrapped around his neck.

"We will do it like this" you mumbled as your hips rolled back and forth on his crotch, the seam of his zipper rubbed against your wet naked lips and the sensation felt too good to be true. His mouth opened, jaw clenched and brows flared as he watched you move in a rhythm, his hands cupped your ass and gave them a squeeze, a guttural moan escaped his throat as the pressure built in the pit of his stomach.

He wrapped his fist around the hem of your dress and pulled it up to take it off your body, the sight of your naked body humping against his half clothed one, your breasts jiggling with every move, your eyes drunken with the feeling was too erotic and he knew it wouldn't take him long to combust.

"You're dripping on me darling" he mumbled as his eyes remained fixated on your cunt rubbing against his bulge. The image would probably make you blush later but right now you just wanted to please you both and you didn't care how obscene you must have looked.

"Mmm you are so hard lo, so perfect..it's heavenly and you are such a good boy, so pretty, i love you" you kissed him softly while your hips continued to gyrate on him.

"I love you my goddess..I'm your good boy, all yours, forever yours, you own me, I'm Yours" his voice came out in broken whispers and you kissed him again and then again.

"You promise?"

"I swear on my manhood darling" you chuckled which in turn made him laugh but both of your heads lulled backwards and he moaned loudly, a little too loud as you both chased that burning feeling together.

This was perfect, every time you gave yourself to him this way it just felt right and you felt as if you belonged to him and that he belonged to you but the moment he was away from you, when other people had his attention you felt insecure again and you had no idea how to get rid of that feeling.

As you both came he picked you up immediately and took you to the shower, you both needed it after that, in the shower he made you cum all over again as he went down on his knees and pleasured you until you had no thoughts left in your head, he was all you could think of and you wished that feeling could have lasted forever but you knew you weren't that fortunate. This new life with him had just begun and it seemed more difficult to live this relationship than the last time.

Loki couldn't stay in your room for long so he teleported back to his, he didn't want anyone to suspect you two.

In the evening Thor had organized that feast for Princess Atrishia and you asked Natasha Romanoff if you could join the feast, she glared at you a little too long before she agreed but she asked you to dress nicely, thankfully you had a fancy black dress that you had worn for your mother's and David's dinner rehearsal.

As you walked in the lounge you suddenly felt out of place, everyone seemed elegant with their suits and gowns, your eyes traced the room and you found Loki along with Thor, Loki was in a black suit while Thor had a blue suit on that seemed too small for his size, they were having a conversation with princess Atrishia, your eyes met with Loki and he gave you a sympathetic look so you quietly walked towards the bar and sat down. You noticed Tony right next to you and he was talking with that bitch Dalia. For some reason you wanted to take all your frustration by smacking the shit out of her.

"This is perfect Tony, in order to present him as a reformed man we can use his past and show the people of earth that he wasn't always evil, he was in love and engaged to a beautiful woman like her, I mean we have hit the jackpot here don't you see?" She said to Tony and all of a sudden you had a sense of dejavu.

This was Melissa fiasco all over again but this time you'd have to compete against the Princess of Vanaheim. A goddamed Princess.

Not again though, you swore to yourself that you won't allow Loki or yourself to suffer all over again. You had no Idea that Atrishia was no ordinary woman and she came here to take Loki. By hook or crook.

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

@annoyingsweetsstranger  @mcufan72  @nixymarvelkins  @stupidthoughtsinwriting  @fictive-sl0th  @eleniblue  @violethaze  @anukulee  @ladymischief11  @12-pm-510  @wolfsmom1 @whylokiissocute  @pics-and-fanfics  @daddylokisqueen  @olivertwistrabbit  @blog-the-lilly  @prettylittlepluviophile  @vanilla-daydreaming  @somewiseguy  @yaaamadaa-blog  @dragonmurray  @elthreetimes  @gruftiela  @thenotoriouserg  @greep215  @yallgotkik  @tactac286  @janineb86  @sflame15-blog  @nyxlaufeyson  @lokidokieokie  @purplekitten30  @sunnixart  @nikkig496-blog  @frozenhuntress67  @qardasngan  @rosecentury  @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen  @hrefna-the-raven  @jennyggggrrr

@cosniffee

[a-flaming-idiot]

So this list (https://www.tumblr.com/a-flaming-idiot/741801196532137984/types-of-lilanette-dynamics-i-find-funny-1-lila) was very entertaining but I am legit super curious how do you think number 5 would work?

Like on a wider heroes of Paris level, I mean. How did Lila get the Fox, is she actually a hero, would Mari put two and two together regarding Volpina & Lila ETC.

Ok, to be honest, when I made that list I just thought it was a funny concept to have Marinette and Lila get a certain dynamic. Like a sorta funny love square where Marinette is doing her best to be nice to Lila and help her but finds Volpina UNBELIEVABLY annoying and outright hates her. If not is a tiny bit scared of her.

But your ask has actually gotten my creative mind going and creating a kinda cool AU idea.

So let's call this, The Lone Fox AU, just for convenience. So basically, in this AU, at least for a while, Lila as Volpina is the only hero in Paris. For some reason, Fu wasn't able to give Marinette and Adrien their Miraculous. Or never even found them in the first place. But Lila found him.

Basically Lila had seen Fu actually fall, likely while trying to rush back to his home, and dropped the Fox Miraculous in his panic. Lila thought it was just some cool jewelry and decided to pocket it instead of giving it back. It was only when she got home and put it on, that she met Trixx and discovered the power she had just stolen. Lila soon decided to basically go on a joyride, using her new power as Volpina to just do whatever she wanted around Paris. She didn't really hurt anyone, she wasn't a villain, but she did take advantage of her power to torment people for fun and take anything she wanted(mostly just random stuff like food and trinkets. She left valuable alone for the most part). Though at her core, she is just after the attention. Lila has always been craving attention.

But then Hawk Moth went and ruined it. Seeing a clear sign the Miraculous were in play around Paris, he started sending out his akumas, trying to further lure out the Cat and Ladybug holders that were surely hiding from him. He may have even tried to recruit Lila, but this whole, take-over Paris thing was not Lila's style, she just wanted to have her fun without anyone to tie her down. Plus she has the sense Hawk Moth will likely abandon her at the first chance he gets, like all adults eventually do to her.

When the akumatized villains start actually attacking Paris, doing real tangible damage to the city, Lila ends up intervening. She doesn't want her freedom and source of attention taken away from her so she starts fighting the akumas. She doesn't have the Ladybug or Black Cat power, but she learns to be crafty, learning to destroy the akumatized items with the help of Trixx, and how to actually destroy the butterflies when she doesn't have the ability to purify them.

The public definitely has mixed feelings on Volpina. She's fighting to protect them against the much more dangerous and destructive akumas, but they also know well the amount of tomfoolery and trouble she caused when left to her own devices. Which is why she's marked a sa vigilante instead of a straight hero or villain. This is definitely where Marinette picked up her distaste for Volpina, the fox taking plenty of baked goods from her family's bakery while on her joyrides.

As time goes on, things get even more complicated. Akumas become stronger and Lila's usual tricks aren't getting her as far. And this whole time since having to fight these akumas she's had a whole ton of time to think about her place in Paris. She went on her joyrides because she felt alone and unseen. Her father left her soon after she was born and her mother is so lost in work she's basically forever left Lila alone to fend for herself. Not to mention Lila has moved so many times she's never had the chance to set down her roots. So all her lying and her Volpina joyrides are just an attempt to take back the attention she was denied her whole life.

And now, as a hero, she's starting to catch on to the other things that are important to her. She likes actually being helpful and the gratitude people show her for doing heroic things. But she also hates the fear and disdain many others show her. Rightfully deserved. Lila doesn't want to be feared or hated. She just wants to be known...

Feeling in over her head with recent akumas and actually remorseful for her actions, Lila goes to the only person she can think to, Master Fu. With Trixx's help, she tracks down Fu at his shop as just simple Lila. Fu is confused till she explains who she is and starts actually begging for forgiveness. No lies. No deceptions. No half-truths. Just Lila asking for help.

Fu takes pity on her, but is also able to sense the spark of a hero's spirit within her. So he cuts her a deal. He'll help her as much as he can, but as soon as Hawk Moth is defeated, Lila will give back the Fox Miraculous and never go near the Miraculous ever again. And if he catches any funny business from her, Fu will take the Fox Miraculous back himself.

Lila's hesitant for a second, but agrees. So now she has Fu to guide her. But Master Fu also gives her one more recommendation on how to beat Hawk Moth, a partner...

So Lila finds the one girl she can trust. A girl she's both cherished as a civilian and needlessly tormented as a vigilante. She sneaks into Marinette's room and leaves her a little box with a note just asking for help. So now Volpina is joined by Multimouse!

Of course, Marinette is hesitant to help and makes her dislike for Volpina known. But agrees to be her partner to save Paris and maybe kick Volpina in the butt some more.

And with one more good influence, they probably do expand their team a bit more to fight Hawk Moth. But for the most part, it's just Volpina and Multimouse.

The whole time Volpina has been having her character arc, you can imagine civilian Lila still causing problems at school. Maybe not as bad as in canon, but she still lies and does whatever she wants to get attention. With Marinette hanging around in her shadow, being basically the only person Lila would properly consider a friend. Marinette does like Lila as a person sincerely, but also wants to keep her on the right track. And Lila takes notice. Meanwhile as Volpina, she likes to torment Marinette a bit. It's mostly flirty and she has no ill will or bad intent, she is just trying to have fun but Marinette does not appreciate having this vigilante bothering her and her family. But Lila does let up slowly as she starts to reevaluate her priorities.

But yeah. That's the rough outline for the Lone Fox AU. This was not even close to my intended idea when I first made that list, but now we got it. Thanks for the inspiration and hope you liked it!.

[diaaatv]

CARDIGAN

Pairing: Jackson!Joel x F!Reader

Insp.: Cardigan by Taylor Swift

Word Count: 2.2k

Description: Joel promised you he would go on a date after patrol one late November evening. However, when you show up to the bar, he’s not there. Where could have gone? Did something happen to him?

Warnings: established relationship, lack of communication, overworked Joel, description of a panic, attack, tears, fluff- like tooth rotting fluff, making out- Joel being emotionally stupid. Joel is scared of the dark because I said so.

-

Carmel colored leaves danced through the late autumn air, the sun kissing the horizon as it set, as you made your way down the main street of Jackson, gentle chilliness nipping at your face. It was peaceful in Jackson, it was safe. When you had stumbled across this place, it was terrifying. Having spent so many years running, finally being able to take a breath and relax was easier said than done. However, as you adjusted to the paradise that was Jackson, Joel Miller came barreling into your quite little life. His broad…everything became something of a safety net. His soothing air of gunpowder, woodsmoke, and pine. Joel was always there.

Walking through the door of the bar, The Tipsy Bison, your smile grew. The atmosphere was always so beautifully calming, an extension of you. As you made your way to the bar, several familiar faces waved and bid hello. Tommy and Maria were there on a date as well, your heart warming as you saw how far along Maria was in her pregnancy. You had given up on the idea of falling in love, and having a family years before the outbreak happened. However, now that you had Joel, you felt a small yearning for a child. To give yourself that sense of normalcy.

Looking around the room, you expected Joel to be leaning against the bar, cradling a whiskey, or sitting in a booth with Ellie. However, you were very quick to notice that Joel wasn’t even there. Tommy was very quick to notice the pure confusion painted on your face. Giving Maria a quick kiss on the cheek, he got up and walked over to you. His hand gently landing on your shoulder, giving a light squeeze.

“Howdy, trouble. Everything alright? Reckon you’re looking for my lug of a brother?”

He asked, a kind smile etched on his lips. Tommy had been the first person you met after he discovered you hiding away in a cabin, a short distance from the commune. Soon after meeting Tommy, he had introduced you to his wife, Maria. Maria has been an absolute angel to you since you showed up, despite others, being a bit uneasy about having someone new. Maria had put you in the house next door to Joel’s with the logic that giving a neighbor to the grump would cause him to open up a little bit.

“Hey there Tommy. Yeah, you seen him.? He promised me we would go on a date after patrol.. I barely get to see him anymore. He’s constantly on patrol or checking up on Ellie… Tommy he is so tired.”

You sighed, very clearly disappointed when Tommy said he had no idea where Joel was. It was deeply unlike your boyfriend to  completely stand you up. Sure he wasn’t the best at communication when it came to his feelings but you had that man wrapped around your finger. Joel was loyal through and through. However, something about this situation made you deeply uneasy. A nauseating pit forming in your stomach as your mind ran through every single possible thing he could be doing. What if he was with another woman? As you began to spiral into a cave of terrified thoughts, Tommy’s voice cut through the loudness in your mind.

“I’m sorry, sugar. I reckon he forgot. He ain’t the type to cheat. So how about you go look for him, and I’ll take him off patrols for the next month Damn fool’s never been able to give himself time off.”

Tommy huffed, speaking nothing but truth about his big brother. That was the first thing you had ever learned about Joel Miller. He was a worker. Always had been. From patrols, to little things around the house, Joel had taken it upon himself to help you with absolutely everything. Even things as simple as carrying the laundry upstairs or heaven help if you complain about something being too heavy. He was always there. However, if Joel had any flaws it all, it was his terrible fear of communication. He never wanted you to worry about him. He always wanted a smile on your face. It broke your heart when he wouldn’t let you do the same for him.

After bidding farewell to Tommy and Maria, you made your way back out into the crisp autumn evening. You could see small clouds of water vapor puff off of your lips as you breathed. It was so quiet that night, as the moon barely peeked out from over the horizon. As your boots crunched along the street, you found your mind drifting to memories of Joel. Your first date. Where you first met. Your home. That’s what Joel Miller had become for you. Home. However, as you became lost in thought while walking, clouds quickly covered the evening sky. Raindrops gently beginning to fall. Flipping your hood up, you huffed as you began to walk faster. The rain began to make you wonder if Joel got stuck out there. Sure he was perfectly strong and capable but something about the love of your life being stranded in the woods..terrified you. Before you knew it, your quick walking begin to turn into a run. Bolting down the street, a heavy sigh of relief escaping your lips when you came up on Joel’s doorstep.

Making your way up the creaking wooden steps to his porch, you quickly became aware of the fact that the door was ajar, and all of the lights were off. You had always known Joel to make sure to lock the door, not to mention his deep hatred of the dark. Slowly and quietly, you pressed your palm up against the door and pushed, filling the empty living room with a loud creak. Looking around, quickly noticed that his rifle was leaning against the couch. He would never do that. He always kept his rifle in the room with him. Your breathing became shaky as you stepped further into the house. You knew better than to call out his name just in case someone was in there, waiting. Watching. Centering your mind, you creeped into the kitchen. Nobody. Not a single fucking light on. Your confusion and fear began to grow as you silently began to make your way up the stairs, a hand resting on the handle of the hand gun tucked away in the waist line of your jeans. As you made your way up the stairs, your gaze fell on a new picture. A new photograph that wasn’t there the last time you visit your boyfriends house. It was you and Joel sitting on the dock at the lake, feet dipped in the crisp blue water. Your head rested on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around your waist. However, you quickly tore your attention from the picture and creeped up the rest of the stairs.

However, as you turned down the hallway in the direction of Joel’s bedroom, it hit your eyes. The bathroom light breaking through the darkness of the hallway. Your brow knit together in confusion as you creep towards the door. As you gently opened the mahogany door further, you noticed a small orange bottle sitting on the countertop. A pill bottle. One that used to be filled with the sleeping pills that the doctor in Jackson prescribed Joel to help him with issues he refused to open up to you about. Your mind quickly snapped to the worst possible situation as you through the door to the bathroom open and ran down the hallway to his room, tears filling your eyes as you prayed that he would be perfectly fine.

Just as you thought, the bedroom door was shut. Seemingly dark as you couldn’t see any light coming from under it. However, you could hear the sound of crying. A deep, warm timbre echoing beneath the sound of sobbing. Joel. Worry pulsed through your body as you slowly opened the door, any anger about the date completely subsiding when you saw him curled up by the bed, oblivious to you entering the room. Your heart broke at the sight as you set your knife and coat down on the bed, what could’ve done this to Joel? In that moment the warrior you knew wasn’t there. Vulnerability radiating off of the man you fell so deeply in love with.

“Honey..?”

You gently spoke, feeling your heart shatter when you saw how he looked at you. His beautiful brown eyes, wide with fear as you stepped closer. Almost as if you didn’t recognize you. However, as you gently put your hand on his shoulder, he seemed to come back to.

“D-darlin’? What are you doing here? Our- our date ain’t another hour…”

He spoke, his usually strong and commanding voice, now reduced to something almost pathetic. Terrified. However, when you looked at him, he glanced out the window behind you. Dark. Obviously long past when he promised you he would be there. When he noticed his mistake, Joel began to ramble about how sorry he was. However, even through all of the apology, he was never clear on what exactly had happened. Sitting down next to him, you put yourself in his strong arms. You knew that whenever he was afraid, holding you always made him feel better. It gave him someone to protect. Someone to look after. Although you never quite knew why he desperately needed to protect you, you new it called him down. Nuzzling your face into his neck, you took him in. It was all Joel.

“Joel. I’m not angry with you. Dates can be changed…what happened out there?”

You questioned, feeling his arms tighten around you. Keeping your voice level and soothing, wanting to give him nothing but comfort. Keeping yourself in his lap, you pulled back and gently rested your palms against both sides of his face. It was then that you got a good look at him. He looked tired all the time, sure, however, the bags in his eyes seemed extremely prominent. Several new cuts and bruises adorning his beautiful face. He quickly noticed how concerned you were, his strong hands gently squeezing your hips.

“I was on patrol this morning. Came across a group of infected…”

Joel spoke, pausing before taking a deep breath. It was quite confusing to see him struggle about talking about infected. You quickly realized that something had to have happened. He had to have seen something to get him this shaken up.

“They were… they were devouring a woman…she looked like you…”

He choked out, his arms tightly wrapping around you, and pulling you against his chest. You could feel the rapid beating of his heart against your cheek as he embraced you. So this is why he was so afraid.. he was afraid of losing you. Taking a deep breath, you gently set up and wiped his tears away. This is the Joel you knew. Beautiful. Vulnerable. Trusting.

“Honey… I promise you I ain’t going anywhere. There is nothing on this planet that could take me away from you.. I have you to protect me..”

You whispered, your delicate palm, gently caressing his cheek as he looked up at you. His deep eyes sparkling with love and a hint of fear. If there was one thing Joel Miller was terrified of, it was losing his loved ones. Losing you. He had already fought like hell to get to where he was, to save Ellie, to save you. He couldn’t lose it. If he ever were to lose you, he would surely lose himself. You were the light that he heard the fireflies speak of. You were the cure to the infectious depression that had weaved it’s way into his life. You were his life and hearing you speak of how he protected you, caused him to break down even further.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulled you into a deep, longing kiss. He was kissing you is if he hadn’t seen you in forever. As if he had lost you. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you gently weaved your hand into his hair. Grounding him. As your lips danced with his, you felt your Joel come back. Having Joel hold you like this felt as if he had wrapped the most comfortable cardigan around your shoulders. He made you feel as if you were reborn. At one point you were an old cardigan under someone’s bed, then, when he came into your life he put you on and you became his favorite. Pulling away, Joel’s forehead rested against yours, tears making his eyes sparkle in the moonlit room.

“Tommy said he’s gonna take you off patrol for a month…”

You whispered, scared that Joel was going to hate that idea. However, as you spoke, you felt him relax underneath of you. As if all of the stress in the world have been lifted off of his shoulders. He was finally, truly relaxed. Finally, the poor exhausted man had time. Time to spend with the love of his life and Ellie, the girl he considered his daughter.

“Promise me you’ll go to bed with me at night… I’ve missed you..”

Your soft voice spoke, soothing him even more. In all honesty, you had never seen him so relaxed and himself. Only with you.

“I promise sugar..I love you so much.”

He spoke, pressing his lips to yours, relishing in your sweet taste.

“I love you too, Miller.”

———————-

A/N: I really hope y’all enjoyed this! It took me a while :)

[rockwgooglyeyes]

yayayay potential nyx and asa reunion ! ( somersaults around the room before front flipping out of it )

Yeas!!! Wahoo!! Honestly this ask has made me think many thoughts which is. . . why it has taken me so long to get to it *wheezes in cry-laughter* If Nyx is 20 during the current Alien Stage season (39), he probably had Asahi when he was like 13-14? (I have been thinking about aging him up? but honestly. it wouldn't really be that much better if he was sixteen or seventeen). Most likely, she would be five or six years old . . . meaning that it hasn't been that long since they were separated. Which would be all the more heartrending in my opinion because she probably hasn't forgiven him, yet.

writing drabble underneath the read more!! (trigger warning for referenced death, gun violence, panic attacks, some implied SA)

Nyx didn't expect to be sent back to Anakt but he supposes there are stranger leaps in logic. At graduation, four years ago now, he thought to himself, "This will be the last time I ever set foot inside of these walls," and it was a freeing thought, a kind one he could tell himself over and over, to soothe the parts of him that woke up during the dark of the night and screamed.

He'd been wrong; here he is, standing amidst artificial grasses, staring up at a digital blue sky that flickers and spits if you look at it long enough. He'd been wrong; Rosca is breathing, alive. He doesn't know how he messed that up, blinked and missed it, but maybe it was all the blood, the gunshots, and the way that Vera drew his focus off of the stage. He hasn't seen Vera since that day, before Round 13, where Jae remained standing on the stage with dead, dead eyes and Vii was shot dead, a new corpse on the floor. Vera is on the run, now, officially. She told him that she only did it on her owner's orders and in a horrible, twisted way, it made sense. Why else would she kill the one she loved, the one whose heartbeat was the same as hers? Ellie may not have loved Vera back but that was no reason to kill her. Not a reason for Vera, anyways.

Back underneath the flickering sky, surrounded by the whisper of false wind and sticky grass, Nyx finds himself going a little bit stir-crazy. Maybe it's that he's back in what he could call his childhood home, having spent more time here than he did with his first owner, even, or maybe it's the fact that he knows his baby girl is in the class set to graduate next. After all, Cas saw Cinnabar and dragged Nyx away, sobbing into Nyx's shoulder in a hallway while on stage, Cinnabar sang. Cas got in trouble for disappearing, too. They both knew it was worth it. Cas would've been in worse shape if he'd been there to hear Cinnabar's voice echo through the room, her name branded into his mind as whatever lyrics went in one ear and out the other. He wouldn't have even been listening and he would've been asked to comment and critique? Knowing that was his biological daughter? Well. It would've probably gone to pot right then and there.

Nyx didn't tell Cas that he was almost excited to see his daughter.

She should be what, five winters old, now? Six? Nyx has always measured her age in winters, rather than summers, because she was born in November. At least, he thinks she was.

Rubbing at his head, he lets out a sigh and walks into the shade of a nearby tree. His memory has been getting worse, lately, with all of the stress around the competition and Oryon getting what performances they can out of him before he dies in his round. He's thrust into the center stage from his dimly-lit lounges and small, intimate stages. He'd never been popular like Oryon's other pets, not in the same way, not loud enough, not bright and peppy enough, Oryon could get Nyx to act a certain way but he couldn't ever get Nyx to act that way with genuine emotion behind his eyes, a beautiful mask on his face. Nyx would play the part but he wouldn't pretend as though he was happy to be there and Oryon had yet to find a way to make him do that. He could simper all Oryon wanted, crawl onto someone's lap, trail a finger down the side of their face and whisper sweet nothings in their ear, but Oryon couldn't make him mean it.

No one could make him mean it.

It's later that day that he finds his daughter laying back in a field of flowers, staring up at the clouds moving in their set patterns in the digitized sky. He doesn't have the heart to tell her that they're not real.

"Asahi?" He says, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much. He's never been good at approaching people but how else is he supposed to do this? He doesn't think she'll want to talk to him, not unless he walks up to her and asks her to. She wasn't exactly a timid kid but she was quiet, solitary, like he'd been before the attack. Her pink-gold irises flicker to him and her eyes widen. Her hair's been straightened, he realizes absently. Before, it had curled in a mess of cowlicks. Even if it made the space behind his eyes burn a little bit, he swallows down the tears. They have no place here, after all. She looks at him for a long moment before her eyes get glassy, big tears starting to roll down her round cheeks.

"Papa?" She asks, pushing herself up into a sitting position.

"Yes, my sunrise, it's me," he answers. She sits for another moment before standing and clinging to his legs, crying into his stomach. He runs his fingers through her hair, bending over to give the impression that he's hugging her back because he can't actually, she's holding on too tightly and she's less than half his height. "Oh, baby, I missed you," he tells her, wishing that he could press a kiss to her hair. She wails louder, something he didn't really think possible, and he decides to just bite the bullet, scooping her up into his arms. She presses her face into his neck and he doesn't really know how long she hiccups into his ear but he can lean his cheek on the top of her head and listen to the warbling sound of her breathing, which is all he needed.

(ocs mentioned are Rosca (@sotogalmo), Vera (@bittersweet-adagio), Jae (@kofeedoggo), Vii (@starry-skiez) and Cas (@lookatmysillies). Otherwise, Cinnabar belongs to you, Apri, as does Asahi!)

[missmaywemeetagain]

Hi,

for your prompt request.

💻 angst for Austin. There was a short lived rumour he'd perform at the Oscars. I had this in my head for months, that he'd perform the in memoriam section (what Lenny Kravitz did this year). Maybe with the beautiful Elvis rendition of BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER .

Obviously that's a daunting thing, so maybe some praise kink that leads to more at rehearsals? With whoever your comfortable with writing this but if live to read it with Polly Bennett his movement coach.

Xxx

Ohhhh, dearest Nonnie, did you give me a challenge! It took me a minute to try and get into Austin's head because I've never written him before, so thank you for your patience! 💖

I really ended up leaning into that praise kink, and this turned out waaay filthier than I intended, but 'twas where my muse took me lol. The Bridge Over Trouble Water lyrics actually were a bit of an inspiration, so the song appears more figuratively than literally. I hope it's okay that it ended up being so much smut vs. storyline, but it is Austin and Polly! Thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy, When Tears Are In Your Eyes, darlin'! 💋

TW: This is utterly filthy. Minors BE GONE! 18+ only! Really, there is so much SEXXX, but, like, in a sweet, subby Austin way. Panic attacks. Negative self-talk. PRAISE KINK--so much praise kink... Sub space? Not as edited as usual! Hopefully this isn't too much of a mess cuz I'm a little nervous about writing about Austin (and Polly!)...I'm definitely not an Austin expert 👀

When Tears Are in Your Eyes

The first time was a fluke. The panic before he’d had to go out and really perform as Elvis for the first time, for the ’68 Special section, was utterly paralyzing and he’d needed something or someone to break him out of his mind prison, someone telling him he was going to be okay, that he was going to do a great job, that he was good enough. Desperate times had called for desperate measures.

Baz and Olivia and even Catherine had tried help him shake his nerves, but no matter the massive amount of support and encouragement from them all, he was convinced there was no way he could do Elvis justice. That he would fail completely, not only tanking his own career, but also Baz’s, and disappoint millions of Elvis’ fans across the world in the process. To say he’d worked himself into a frenzy was an understatement.

When Polly came in, his amazing and fiery movement coach, he was convinced she wouldn’t be able to stave off this horror building inside him, this pure terror that he was a complete fraud. But they’d worked so many hours together, one on one, that she could sense something in him that he could not. When she’d embraced him and told him he was going to be alright, that everything would be fine, he almost broke into pieces at his friend’s words. He’d sniffled into her blonde hair, his Elvis makeup running, clutching at her like she was a life raft.

And then it had happened. As she whispered words of encouragement into the shell of his ear, praising the commitment he had to the role and how he was already doing Elvis’ legacy proud, he’d felt it. Unfortunately, pressed up against her in that tight black leather suit, it didn’t take long for her to feel it, too.

He was totally mortified, of course, chalking it up to his anxiousness and heightened emotions, and it sent him into another kind of panic because Polly was his colleague and his friend and oh my god, he didn’t want to ruin any of that. Whimpering in her hair, he wanted to pull away and hide even more than he had before, but she just kept breathing praise into his ear. As if he wasn’t rock hard against her.

It hadn’t taken long for his body to go off the rails, his hips rolling into her ever so slightly, the friction of those damn pants coupled with what she was saying arousing him to the point of bursting. But she didn’t flinch or move away, she just kept her arms around him tight and let him grind and whimper into her.

It wasn’t enough. He was a sniveling mess, terrified of going out there and humiliating himself, and now he was insanely aroused, his mind starting to white out, and he needed release but the dry humping just wasn’t enough.

Somehow, she’d known exactly what he needed and for some unknown reason, hadn’t hesitated in the slightest in giving it to him. When she’d popped the button on the pants, unzipping him just enough to reach her tiny hand in, he’d nearly passed out from the way she’d groped his too-sensitive cock through his underwear.

“Doing such a good job for me, Aus, always doing so good for me. Always putting in your all. You’re gonna be perfect,” she’d whispered as she pumped him expertly. His mind went blank, hearing nothing but her praise, and he surrendered quickly. Shuddering violently, he crested and felt the hot spurts of his release coat the inside of his briefs.

“That’s it, let it go, Aus. Cumming so well,” she’d praised him, talking him through his orgasm, then released him with a genuine smile, pressing her forehead to his as he tried to regain his senses.

It wrecked him just enough to break him free of his anxiety. He’d gasped in both refraction and shock and Polly had just patted his cheek sweetly and handed him tissues to clean himself up, like there wasn’t something completely bonkers that happened between them. Like she hadn’t just jerked him off and successfully made him feel like he could go out there now and be Elvis. Like his confidence hadn’t been restored by the magic power of her words and her hand.

Things had happened so intensely and fast after that with filming that he’d barely had time to think on it. When he’d stripped out of the suit and his messed underwear later that night, he’d actually laughed, thinking of the story of how Elvis had orgasmed in his leather suit as well.

How very ‘method’ of me, he’d thought with a chuckle.

He’d also been confused and embarrassed, but Polly acted like nothing strange had occurred at all. No lingering glances or silly winks. No uncomfortable silences or awkward words. Business as usual.

So, he’d moved on. It was a fluke. A moment of weakness.

Except now, backstage during rehearsals for the Oscars, he finds himself in that same completely panicked headspace for the first time since the ’68 Special. His agent had somehow convinced him to agree to singing “Bridge Over Troubled Water” during the “In Memorial” section of the show. But that was months ago, before he was exhausted from all the award shows and press and schmoozing and the traveling across continents, all the while trying not to let his grief for Lisa Marie (and the residual grief it triggered about his mom) consume him.

He is terrified. Stomach churning and palms sweating, he shakes all over, a leftover effect of those pieces of Elvis still lingering within him. Singing in front of people was never something he’d been able to do until Elvis. But even then, he’d been playing a character. It was so much more vulnerable to get out there singing as himself. In front of a room filled with the biggest names in Hollywood, in front of his heroes, and for millions on live television, no less.

No pressure or anything.

Sure, they’d convinced him to sing briefly on SNL, but that was still under the guise of Elvis and it had been only a small part of the farewell for Cecily, the focus being on her, not just him. He’d been nervous, to be sure, but it had been different. Not this. Nothing like this.

Of course, he knows the song in his sleep, it being one of his favorites to listen to while prepping for Elvis. But as much as the critics and the world loved his performance, and as much as he tries to draw upon the superstar’s confidence, he is not Elvis Presley.

His shallow and quick breaths as he waits for his turn to rehearse makes him think that he might pass out if he keeps freaking out at this rate. Forcing himself to breath in through his nose and out through his mouth, part of the dynamic breathwork he’d learned, he manages to keep from ending up on the floor. But his mind is still whirling and his stomach is churning.

You idiot, you’re just gonna go out there and embarrass yourself in front of everyone you admire. What a failure you’ll be, his inner critic berates him. Stupid fucking fool.

He can’t do this. There’s no way in hell.

Austin feels the tears prick in his eyes. Oh, good, now I’m gonna cry, too. Perfect.

It’s then that he feels the small arms encircle his waist and he knows.

He knows it’s her.

He’s not sure how Pol managed to get backstage—the security is insane—but like a miracle, she’s here. “Come on, Aus. You’re going to be okay,” she says quietly.

Gently, she pulls him back, back, back through the wings of the stage, whispering words along the way (“You can do this, hun, and will do it well. I know you will.”) and into an empty dressing room. He follows more than willingly, letting the tears free fall down his cheeks now.

He finds himself in that strange little space again where all he hears and wants and needs is her, her reassurances and praises, and she gives them liberally.

Polly gently pushes him into the room, closing the door and engaging the lock behind her. His brain is overloaded, his body buzzing with anxiety, but her words leave him wanting and he feels his cock twitch in his pants. All rational thought is abandoned, his body beginning to take over, and he doesn’t have the strength to hold himself back.

Austin steps into her, pressing her back against the door, nuzzling his head down into her neck. She lets him, her hands running softly, comfortingly, through his hair, causing a low moan to escape his lips.

“I-I-I need…please…” he begs through hiccupping little sobs.

“I know, shh, I know.”

Then, she proceeds to murmur at him all the ways he is good and talented and true. He can’t help rolling his now-aching cock into her belly, but she does not falter.

The sensations are all too much this time, even more than the first time, and he is running his hand up her bare leg and under her skirt before his mind even registers what he’s trying to do, all the lines he is going to cross. Because he has to do something, something he knows he’s good at, something he knows he won’t fail.

And by the little squeak that turns into a mewl when he reaches the apex between her thighs, the thin cotton covering her warm little sex, he knows he’s right. Slipping his fingers under, he runs them through her already dampening folds and up to circle the sensitive nub at the top.

“T-this o-okay?” he stutters out, needing to know he’s doing right by her.

“Yes, Aus, that’s perfect, oh god,” she moans breathlessly in his ear.

The praise fully short-circuits his brain, sending him into that white space where his career expectations and fears don’t touch him like they did before.

Please, please, please…is all he thinks and he realizes eventually that he’s panting it out loud, ignoring the straining in his pants because he wants to get her off, he needs to please her, and if he does, everything will somehow be okay.

He slides his fingers down through her softness, and finding her wet and ready for him, turns her around to face the door and slides two fingers into her heat, his thumb working circles on her clit. Pumping, his fingers search for that spongy spot, the one he thinks will make her keen and pleased, and when he finds it, he curls his fingertips into it.

“That’s it…just like that,” she pants, then she bucks back, her ample ass giving him some much-needed friction. The sensation is almost too much, causing him to press her into the door, his throbbing erection making him desperate.

“Oh, my good, good boy. Oh god. Oh g-god, Aus, you’re gonna make me cum,” she chokes out and it’s music to his ears, this approval and proof of his goodness. “That’s p-perfect, you’re perfect!”

Her cry couples the fluttering of her walls and the dam breaks, arousal flooding onto his hand. But her release sends his body into overdrive, and he pulls his fingers out of her, leaving her moaning. Frantically, he pulls her soaked panties down her legs and unbuckles his pants, letting them slide down and free his cock.

“Please, I-I-I…can I?” he whimpers at her.

She nods. “Yes, yes!”

He is in shambles. It only takes a second before he’s rubbing his cock between her legs, coating himself in her slick, and they both moan at the sensation.

Going into that white space, the one he only gets to when with her, all he can think is please, please, I need, I need, and it causes him to rush a little. He pushes up into her comforting and plush folds, meeting a little resistance on the way because he’s thick and she’s small but oh god, she’s so tight around him.

Through the hazy fog of his brain, he hears her pretty little gasps as she adjusts to his girth, but when he bottoms out in her wet heat, it feels too good and a fresh panic hits him. This awareness of what he is doing to her—spearing her and splitting her in two—and the thought that he might be doing it wrong or hurting her in some way has him sobbing, “Pol,” as he clutches at her waist.

“It’s okay, you’re perfect, Aus,” she moans, encouraging him. “Now move those hips, just like I taught you.”

Relief and fresh arousal floods over him. He knows this. He can do it in his sleep. Cock twitching inside her, he starts to move, rolling those narrow hips of his smoothly, precisely, just as he’d practiced for hours and hours prepping for Elvis.

Polly lets out a low, pleased groan as he does so, and it fills him with pleasure because he’s pleasing her, he’s doing it right. With each thrust, she coos at him words of praise and he eats them up like he’s starving. The terror and the trepidation are banished into the shadows, consumed by that white space, the space where he is perfect and good and doing everything just right.

He could stay here forever, surrounded by light and warmth and comfort, buried deep in his friend.

His smooth thrusts become pointed because the more she praises his work, the hotter he becomes, like he’s burning up from the inside in the best way possible. She writhes below him, pushing back into him, the sound of his balls slapping her weepy, perfect little cunt sending every ounce of blood straight into his dick.

One hand slams next to hers on the door, using it as leverage to pound into her. Deeper, need to be deeper, oh fuck, oh Jesus. The other grips desperately at her waist, anchoring himself to her so he doesn’t fly too far away into that glorious white space.

Her voice does that, too, her breathless sighs of, “Yes, yes, you’re doing so good, giving me that perfect cock so well, Aus,” are pushing him headlong to the brink.

Reaching around under her skirt, he finds her puffy clit and works it furiously, even in his blinding fog knowing he wants her to come over the edge with him. She keens and he pistons erratically at the sound.

“Fuck, you’re gonna be a good boy and come with me now, right Aus?” she pants, taking him like she was made to do so.

“Mhm,” is all he can manage, biting his lower lip and nodding. Heat floods him, overwhelming his senses as he fucks into her, needing every inch to remind him who he is. He begins to shudder when he feels her walls clench tighter around him.

“Oh, fuck, you’re g-gonna make me cum again, Aus! Oh, YES,” she moans, fluttering around him, and he shatters into little pieces right behind her.

He’s too far gone to pull out, selfishly claiming her and painting her walls white with his seed. Relishing in her warmth, he clings to her in his climax, not realizing the tears of relief streaming down his face.

Every ounce of tension in his body releases. The only sound in the room is their heavy breathing as they recover. She lets him linger inside her, seemingly aware of how far away he’s gone.

Eventually, the white space dims and he comes back into himself, sliding his softening cock out of her. He kisses her softly at the place where her neck meets her shoulder.

“I—Thank you,” he whispers, voice low and gravely, unsure of what to say, unsure of how to make her understand that she managed to banish his self-hating demons away right when he needed her.

She turns around and pulls his head down, pressing her lips to his forehead. “Anything for you, Aus.”

His now-relaxed body fills with warmth at that.

Finding a box of tissues, he grabs a clump, then falls reverently to his knees in front of her with the intent of cleaning her up. He pulls up the hem of her dress, revealing the short thatch of hair at the top of her pussy, worked swollen and red from him.

“You don’t have to do that, Aus,” she breathes. He can sense the blush in her voice, a modesty that was absent when she was trying to help him through his panic.

“Hush.” He taps her legs open and she relents quickly, unable to deny him. Pink and slick and bare to him, he looks up at her from below and adds, “You’re beautiful.”

She flushes pink and bashfully looks away.

His initial task to clean her abandoned, he watches in a kind of awe and pride the way his spent arousal, mixed with her own, leaks from her tight, little hole. He abandons the tissues on the floor. So entranced is he that he can’t stop himself from running his fingers through her folds and the slick.

She gasps from above, which quickly turns into a punctuated sigh when he leans forward and softly kisses her oversensitive nub. Fueled by her reaction and the deliciously musky taste of her on his lips, he flicks his tongue there.

She nearly doubles over, her hands flying into his sandy locks.

His body, still recovering from their sex, hums with pleasure. He laps at her again, and again. He can’t seem to help himself because she just makes him feel so good.

She shudders over him, trying to still his head. “Aus, I can’t,” she whines. This was obviously not part of her plan to calm him.

He smiles against her clit, then pulls back to watch as he uses two long fingers to push his dripping arousal back up into her tight heat.

The sound of her loud moan resonates in the small space as she falls back against the door, eyes closing with pleasure.

He holds there for a moment before he turns his attention back to her puffy, oversexed clit. Licking, sucking, and kissing it, he teases her. He works her into a frenzied, whimpering mess above him.

He pulls away briefly. “Am I doing good?” he asks with a hopeful little smile, still needing her approval. He scissors his fingers, sliding them in and out of her soaking and nearly-wrecked pussy.

All she can seem to do is nod frantically. That thrill of praise runs through him again.

Diving back in, he relishes the taste of her, of them, adding a third digit into her stretched hole. The noises are obscene, the squelching of their combined arousal filling the room as he fucks her relentlessly with his fingers. Her mewling whimpers let him know he’s still satisfying her. He can feel himself hardening again, but it’s an afterthought to her pleasure.

“Cum for me, baby, let me make you cum. Come on now,” he urges her.

Once he curls his fingers into that soft spot inside her and sucks on her nub just so, it doesn’t take long until she goes rigid and comes undone with a panting shudder. Again.

Austin strokes her through her climax then releases her with one last soft kiss to her mound. Then he finally uses those tissues to clean her gently. She shudders with overstimulation.

“You are too good, Austin Butler,” she gasps out.

“Promise?” he says, only half joking as they both put themselves back together.

Polly grabs him by the cheeks and stares directly into his big, blue eyes. “Aus, you are one of the best, most talented men I have ever known. Anything you choose to do, you give it your all. You will do well,” she says seriously. “Now, go out there and kick some ass for me, will you?” She smiles and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

He can’t help but grin from ear to ear, his doubts banished.

And even though he is nervous and emotional the night of the awards, he thinks of that sublime and calm white space where he is always good enough. And when he sings at the show, he gives it his all, knowing that Polly is watching.