#i hate being alone

[honeypleasejustkillme]

for fuckin real :/

[itzz-salem]

I am so tired of being alone.. I just want a partner so bad... I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything's okay and that my brain is just dumb. I just wanna watch movies and cuddle, go on cute dates, let me draw them, let me info dump about my random hyperfications to them. Let me hold them, make gifts for them, make them laugh and happy...just ugh..૮₍˶ ╥ ‸ ╥ ₎ა

[bows-andblood]

Even in the most remote place in the world, I can't shake the feeling that I'm being watched and judged and I feel obligated to put on a show and perform even if there's no one but me in my room. It's fucking exhausting.

[lyra-heartstring]

I want someone i can date who can either join/help with my sh or just acknowledges my mental illness. I dont want to be forced into recovery with some " Do it for me " bullshit, is that too much to ask.

[sensitivedead]

.

[depressed-boba]

life update: still alive, still wishing i wasn't

[blue-levandar]

I'd rather admit that I'm an attention whore than doing controversy for no reason :P

[floydsglasses]

Ahhaa can't relate ( I'm delusional and touch starved 🥲)

[dumbthiccbitch666]

god i wish ‘love’ was easy

[flowers-that-sing]

didnt think id cry over a fanfiction in which eddie munson has BPD, and steve knows this, and literally outright says that he knows eddie could split over him and say or do or feel very hurtful things, but it doesn’t matter to him and he loves him anyway. fucking God damn

because as much as people have claimed to “not care” that i have BPD, they also make it clear that any symptoms are too much and they can’t handle it. and like, i get that. i do. i know. most people just can’t handle someone like me. i’m probably doomed to be mostly-alone and only have surface-level friendships, barring stitch, for the rest of my life if i don’t get better at hiding it. i’m so fucking lucky to even have stitch. like, even my own parents can’t handle me. i am so grateful for my best friend.

the idea that someone could know exactly what BPD entails, could know what splitting is, could know what it could mean, and instead of running for the hills because im toxic they would actually stay, and love me anyway, the knowledge that it’s possible, that i’m not abusive and evil in the eyes of every person ever on this earth and someone on this planet is capable of loving me anyway even if i never meet them, it’s. oh my God. so many fucking feelings. i wasnt expecting that.

[jaxxrabbie]

One symptom of avoidance is loneliness.

Isolation is my home, and pain is an old friend. I’m slamming fists against the walls of my cage; an isolated enclosure that I bestowed upon myself, wondering why am I so cold? Why are my fingers bleeding? Why am I clawing at metal bars I welded together myself? I’m caught in a trap I laid with my own hands, all while suffocating against the pressure of being seen. This cage could be a home; this cage is my home. When you haven’t been given the choice but to become one with loneliness, you find a sort of solidarity and familiarity within yourself, within the isolation. This moment of reflection isn’t the comforting recognition of one’s self, but the terrifying realization that anyone could see exactly what you are. And I know, if you were to take one peak inside of my blood stained, hand made cage, you would simply run.

[original-punks]

what the fuck

[itzz-salem]

Hehe.. we love a puppy that's been left alone for too long and got stuck with the thoughts in their head. Hurting their own feeling out of nowhere ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

[planetariumthottie]

iaminpain.com

[goobiestar]

I'm sorry to hear hear your having a rough time, I wish I knew how to help but I'm just a random stranger on the internet. Is there anything we can do that would help?

Just a simple thank you, or a hello or even a check in on how ive been lately would be fucking nice, or tell me im not a loser that draws boring ugly cat art no one even wants to see

But yeah just a hi would be good i wish people looked at me without wanting something from me

[thehealingplum]

Im currently in Raleigh and I'm anxious because I'm over here thinking "I still have to be away from my loved ones for at least another year." I'm getting tired of college and I just want to be home again...