#i hate how it feels like mum and dad are protecting him. how nothing ever changes and i keep trying but i can't do anything.

[secondplayercanada]

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[sprnklersplashes]

fic comissioned by @willofadeadgirl thank you for your generous donation to esims for gaza! to find out about commissioning a fic from me, the info is here

based on this idea I had a year (?) ago:

JD spiralling shortly after he and Veronica get engaged because he's scared to hurt her the way his dad hurt his mum. Claire is there to remind him that he's okay.

getting to delve back into nbr universe again and this relationship specifically was so rewarding and I also got to sprinkle in a bit of claire's backstory which is neat.

The party is amazing.

Claire has outdone herself. While JD was out with Veronica she single-handedly rearranged all of the tables and threw white rugs over the bare wooden floors. Then she either robbed a florist or had one owe her something, because they came back to the most amazing centrepiece on the dining room table, along with garlands of lilies and white roses hung around the doors and stairway. And of course, no function thrown by Claire Munroe is complete without food, and holy hell, did she deliver. When the party is for him and Veronica’s engagement, but all anyone can talk about is her espresso martini cheesecake, that’s how you know it’s a winner.

It’s wonderful. Although the event is small, a strict family and friends affair, the house feels alive, the two stories teeming with pure, unfiltered happiness. He couldn’t ask for anything better.

He hates himself. He really fucking hates himself.

With a bitter sigh, JD tosses the empty bottle he’d been fidgeting with. It crashes somewhere in the garden, followed shortly by a frantic rustling in the hedge. He might have just frightened the shit out of some poor raccoon.

And that thought should not scare him the way it does; shouldn’t cause the pit in his stomach to plunge deeper. He closes his eyes, locks every limb, pulls himself inward like he can ward off the thoughts invading his mind.

It was like someone had flipped a switch. One minute he was standing in the kitchen, his arm securely around Veronica’s waist, listening to her laughing and feeling like the night would never end. Then he went to the kitchen to get another drink and just like that, everything stopped. Once he wasn’t surrounded by bodies and the laughing and chatting was muted, the protective barrier dropped. Suddenly, all he could think about was the blood in his veins and where it came from, and then he was 8 again watching his mother wave at him through a window and then he was 9, 10, 11, 12 smashing plates to get his dad’s attention and he was 3, 4, 5 and 6 and 7 listening by the stairs because his dad was yelling again, again, and his mom wasn’t saying anything-.

And then he was running, and he was on his knees in the grass. 

He lets out a steady exhale, white smoke stark against the night sky. Shadows blanket the garden; the greens of the grass and the rainbow hues of Claire’s flower bushes are smothered in greys. Behind him, the house is still glowing from within, gentle oranges making its own sunset in there. He doesn’t want it. He never wants to see it again.

With a cold pang, he hopes Claire never leaves the house to him. Some of the best memories of his life are in that house. It’s lovelier than he would ever deserve, and he would just ruin it like he will ruin Veronica and like his dad ruined him. Claire said she moved into that house alone and renovated it with her own bare hands. Giving it to him would feel wrong, backwards. What will he do other than destroy it? That’s what his hands were made for.

Breathe Jason a voice in his head says. He tries, opens his mouth but nothing comes in, because there’s barbed wire around his throat and his lungs and it hurts when he tries. He tries, and he chokes, and hot tears are racing down his cheeks and he bites his hand before he can start screaming. Breathe Jason.

I can’t! I can’t! The darkness presses in around him and it’s hot-since when was darkness hot? His dad’s voice-his voice-is roaring in his ears, it sounds like his dad but it scrapes his throat like its him and it’s burning. He needs to get out and-

“Hiding out here?”

Crap. 

Trembling, JD turns around, squinting against the brightness. At first, all he can see is the small frame, the chunky knit sweater hanging off it. His eyes follow her as she comes over, but he looks away as she settles herself on the grass beside him.

“We miss you in there.” He nods, slowly. If he was still seventeen, he would shoot a sarcastic remark at her in the hopes that she would leave. But he knows better now. Or more accurately, the idea of her leaving pulls at a very specific part of his heart. So, while his instincts still protest, he lets her stay.

“Well I hope it wasn’t my lasagne that made you leave.” That gets a half-smile from him, even if it feels foreign on his face. Behind his back, he can feel her eyes bore into him. He used to think he could hide anything from anyone, and then he met her. “Jason? Everything okay?”

How does he answer? He takes a deep breath in, slowly. Pulls at the grass and lets it fall between his fingers. Listens to the pounding staccato rhythm of his heart. 

“I just freaked out,” he mutters. Claire nods behind him and, carefully, as if he’s made of glass, places her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” she tells him. “I’m here.” He squeezes the grass in his hand. “Anything in particular freak you out?”

He doesn’t want to say it. He wants to keep it inside and find something to numb it. If it stays inside, he can freeze it, escape from it. 

He can’t though. Because he’s come too far and owes Claire and Veronica too much. There’s only one good way out.

“My dad,” he whispers. Claire inhales sharply and her hand tenses against his back. 

“Did he-did he try to-”

“No.” He cuts her off with a shake of his head. “No, he hasn’t contacted me.” Ever. He hasn’t heard from his father since 1984. He laughs, short and bitter. “I just can’t stop thinking about him. And my mom. And everything.”

“Oh kid,” Claire sighs. Her arm comes around his shoulders, her small frame presses into his side. “I’m so sorry.”

“And suddenly it was…. Everywhere.” He hears the tremble in his voice and he hates it. In that moment, he wonders why he ever stopped numbing himself. It made everything so much easier. He looks down at his hands. The ring Veronica gave him glimmers on his finger, silver winking in the half-light. He gives a self-deprecating scoff. “I don’t know how to be married. I don’t-I can’t be that to her.”

“You’ve been a pretty spectacular boyfriend so far,” Claire tells him matter-of-factly. “And from what I can tell, being married is just a longer version of that. That it’s you and her forever.” She squeezes his shoulder. “You’ve been with her three years and you haven’t messed up yet.”

“You don’t know that I won’t!” he tells her, voice rising sharply, and then everything spills out, a putrid ugly mess in front of them. “He’s my dad, Claire. I’m 50% him. My whole childhood I just sat and watched as he wore her down and she was hurting and I didn’t do anything about it! I just let him keep going and keep going until one day-” He closes his eyes. The library explodes behind his eyelids. When he opens them, he can still see the smoke. “What if it’s just a matter of time before I do it to her?” He looks back at the house. He can’t find her; she’s lost in a maze of other people.

“I might do something worse,” he says. The admission is broken and cracked on his tongue, terrified to step into the light. But it’s here.

“Oh, Jason,” Claire breathes. Her touch is gentle, loving, against his skin and part of him wants to shove it away and put as much distance between her and him as possible. He hates that he still feels that way, even as he leans into her touch. 

“I know you were dealt such a bad hand with your dad,” she tells him. “But you are not him, Jason.”

“I’m his son.”

“And I’m my parents’ child,” Claire says firmly. “Do you think I’m anything like they are?”

That gets him. Like a lighthouse beacon, it cuts through the fog in his mind and catches him.

He’s never met Claire’s parents-his grandparents, he supposes. They know about him, but the contact never goes past the ‘To Claire and Jason’ on the annual Christmas guard. Claire won’t delve into the specifics, just that her parents wanted her to have a life she never intended to java. Years before he came into the picture, it came to a head over some argument and when she declared her intention to move out, they didn’t stop her. 

They communicate via Christmas cards. When Claire’s dad was in hospital, she didn’t find out until weeks later.

So, his response is a small shake of his head. Claire is nothing like her parents and never will be. She is warm and loving and generous, she understands him without him having to say anything. How her parents created a person like her he will never understand.

“You’re not like your parents.”

“And you are not like your dad, Jason.”

“I am,” he mumbles. “I get angry. I think about… I think about running away.” He presses his thumb into his palm. “I pull away from her.”

“And then you go back,” Claire says. Slowly, her hand comes over his. Her skin is warm, her palm calloused and rough. “That’s what makes you different from your dad, JD. Your dad never cared about the damage he was causing. You do. You get knocked down and you get back up.” Her fingers curl around his. Startled, he squeezes her fingers. “Look how far you’ve come in the past few years. That’s something he never ever did.”

JD doesn’t know when the tears started but they’re here, running like rivers down his face. 

“And to be honest, I’ve never seen a person love someone else the way you love Veronica. You love her like she’s the last person on Earth. You love her like you’d never love anyone else.”

Well, he wouldn’t. It’s just a plain fact to him. No matter what happens, Veronica exists and he’s in love with her. Simple as that really. After everything she has done for him, it feels like the least he can do.

“And,” Claire continues, reading his mind again. “Don’t you owe it to her to keep trying?” Before he can even respond, she scoots closer, rests her chin on his shoulder. “Maybe you owe it to yourself too.”

There. That’s when she does it, that magical thing where she looks inside him and pulls out something he never thought existed. 

If he walks away now, he leaves Veronica at her own engagement party. He leaves her in the dust after promising to stand by her forever. And doing that to her… it hurts him more than anything else could.

He turns. Claire is still beside him, pressed against his side. 

“Maybe I owe it to you too.” She smiles then, laugh lines creasing her face.

“You’ve never owed me anything, kid.”

(It isn’t true. He owes her more than he’ll ever be able to pay back. But that’s okay, she’s not expecting him to).

Looking out at their garden, he lowers his head onto her shoulder. It’s a little awkward because at some point he got taller than her, but neither of them mind. She rubs her hand up and down his arm and they sit there, listening to the muffled sounds of the party behind them.

“I love you,” he tells her. He doesn’t need to look up to see the way her face softens at that. 

“I love you too, kid,” she whispers. She tugs on his arm. “Come on. If we hurry there may still be profiteroles left.”

JD laughs; the feeling is solid and warm in his chest. He offers Claire his arm and together, they walk back into their house. 

Before he goes in, he gives it one last try. He breathes in. The air is cold and crisp and it fills his lungs. He breathes out, slow and steady, and the white smoke disappears into the orange porchlight. Claire squeezes his hand, firm and rough and more real than anything that came before.

He’ll be okay, he thinks. They’ll be okay. 

[accio-sriracha]

Sirius Black Was Nothing If Not Consistent.

BECAUSE I HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO TORTURE ALL OF YOU.

Based on this post here: <3

(I recommend reading it first for context)

~~~ ~~~

As he stood with his back to the wall, Harry Potter kicking open the door only inches from his shoulder, Sirius felt his life unravel around him.

Harry was the spitting image of his father... except those eyes.

The same vibrant green he remembered as Lily's.

Harry had the same spirit as his parents, unafraid, caring, willing to throw himself into harms way to save the people he loved.

Sirius hadn't been listening to their quiet humblings until he heard Harry's name.

"Harry, it's a trap-"

"What-"

It was Harry's voice, and Merlin did he sound like James.

The red haired kid was staring at Sirius over Harry's shoulder, "He's the dog... He's an Animagus."

Sirius closed the door so they could see him better, which slammed shut with a loud bang. He could see them all jump.

He cursed the worn hinges. This was the same room he and Remus had shared all those years ago. The door would slam shut even then, sometimes giving them away to James and Peter.

The thought of his wretched name made Sirius focus again. He was here for Pettigrew. He couldn't get distracted.

He tried to smile to soften the blow as he disarmed them, catching Harry's and the girl's wand. He could tell the smile didn't quiet turn out right. It had been so very long since he had tried.

"I thought you'd come and help your friend." His voice was hoarse from being unused all those years, clearing his throat hardly helped, "Your father would have done the same for me. Brave of you, not to run for a teacher. I'm grateful... it will make everything easier..."

He thought of McGonagall. Of the betrayal he knew he would find there. He thought of Sprout and Flitwick.

Professors he had once truly cared for.

Professors who now knew him only as a traitor.

Nobody knew the truth. He needed Harry to understand.

Harry lurched towards him, speaking of James had upset him greatly, Sirius could understand why. With what Harry must think of him...

"If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us too!" The other kid shouted, swaying on his feet as he stood to protect him.

Sirius startled. Those would have been some of James' last words....

They would have been Lily's dying breath.

He didn't want to hurt Harry. He wished he could make them see that. No, these things are hard to be undone. It would take time to gain their trust.

"Lie down." He said quietly to the boy, who seemed to love Harry the way Sirius had loved his father, "You will damage that leg even more."

"Did you hear me? You'll have to kill all three of us!" He called, ignoring him, needing to lean on Harry just to stay standing.

"There'll be only one murder here tonight." He could feel himself smile slightly. He couldn't help it.

The last twelve years he'd dreamed of this day. Of avenging his best friends and killing Peter Pettigrew once and for all.

Harry snarled at him, a nasty sound Sirius wasn't sure should ever belong to a kid like him. His eyes flashed with fury,

"Why's that?" He spat, struggling against his friend's hold, "Didn't care last time, did you? Didn't mind slaughtering all those muggles to get at Pettigrew... what's the matter? Gone soft in Azkaban?"

Sirius knew Harry was angry, he knew he had the right to be, so he tried not to react even as the mention of the horrible place brought a chill to his very bones.

No, he thought, The opposite. I'm far worse than I've ever been before.

He didn't say this. Wouldn't dare. Not in the face of Harry's grief. He would have to make things right.

Harry's friends tried to get Harry to stop, he didn't listen, his voice echoing off the walls of the shack as he roared,

"HE KILLED MY MUM AND DAD!"

And Sirius knew exactly how he felt. He knew that passion. That desperation. He knew it because it was a part of him, engraved in his every inch of his soul.

He thought of his manic blindness towards anything that wasn't Pettigrew these last few weeks.

No. He didn't blame Harry for hating him.

It was because of this thought he didn't struggle when Harry broke free and lunged at him.

It was with that thought Sirius let him rip the wands from his hands, he didn't fight even as Harry's fist connected with Sirius' head, both of them flying backwards to the wall.

Punch after punch, Sirius refused to give in. Eventually, when he could hear Pettigrew's squeak from the corner, he knew he had to make his move quickly.

"No. I've waited too long." He tried to shove him off with little success. He really had gone weak in Azkaban, all that time starving himself and he'd left any muscle he had behind him in that cell.

He didn't want to hurt the kid, but he also didn't have a winning chance at a fair fight and they both knew it.

Holding Harry's neck, he grabbed him and pushed him off, dropping him with a pained grunt.

Crookshanks had grown agitated, flying into the mix along with Ron as they wrestled Sirius away from the wands.

Harry shouted something at the cat, and Crookshanks ran away again.

Sirius was panting, sunken against the wall and hardly able to move. The kid had fight, he'd give him that. The bruises that now caused throbbing pain all over Sirius' body could attest to it.

Harry approached him, wand pointed at Sirius' heart.

"Going to kill me, Harry?" He whispered.

Harry stopped right above him, "You killed my parents." His voice shook, but his wand held steady.

Sirius wondered what James would think of his boy now, brave and sure even in the face of what he believed was great danger.

Harry was right. Sirius was responsible. He should have never talked James into allowing Peter to be the Secret Keeper. He should have never trusted anyone but himself to keep them safe.

"I don't deny it." His voice was broken, "But if you knew the whole story-"

"The whole story?" Harry repeated, almost exasperated, "You sold them to Voldemort. That's all I need to know."

And this kid, this beautiful, brave kid, made Sirius so proud he wanted to cry. His fierce protectiveness of James and Lily, the loyalty that he displayed on his expression with pride.

Sirius wished he could make him understand,

"You've got to listen to me," He started, trying to express the urgency he felt, "You'll regret it if you don't... you don't understand..."

"I understand a lot better than you think." He said, his eyes narrowed, "You never heard her, did you? My mum... trying to stop Voldemort killing me... and you did that... you did it..."

Before either of them could say another word, Crookshanks leapt past Harry onto Sirius' chest. After the last short eternity Sirius had spent holed up in this shack with nothing but the cranky old cat for company, he felt moved by the gesture. Harry muttered and tried to push him off.

Crookshanks sunk his claws into Sirius' robes painfully, refusing to budge.

Sirius watched the indecision on his face, until finally he raised his wand, seemingly uncaring for the cat that sat between them.

He hesitated. Seconds turned to minutes. Harry stood there, wand poised, Sirius staring up at him, Crookshanks on his chest.

Then came a sound. A horrible, horrible sound.

Footsteps.

Someone was moving downstairs, obviously they had witnessed the group go through the tunnel and followed after them.

Sirius felt a pang of guilt, remembering the last time he'd convinced someone to follow after them, nearly letting Severus get killed in the process.

The girl began shouting immediately, "We're up here! We're up here- Sirius Black- quick!"

Sirius felt his heart begin to race.

He was going back to Azkaban.

His lungs stopped working entirely. He didn't have enough time. He needed to kill Peter. He needed to explain.

He shivered, hard, nearly enough to knock Crookshanks off of his chest.

Harry's expression hardened, his wand gripped tight.

Footsteps thundered up the steps.

Harry still hadn't done anything.

Sirius still hadn't exposed Pettigrew.

The door burst open with a shower of red sparks and Harry wheeled around, his face was that of relief.

Sirius' next thought was a simple one: Please don't let it be McGonagall.

And it wasn't.

It was so much worse.

Remus Lupin came hurtling into the room, his face a pale white, his wand raised and ready.

He looked to the kids, lying on the floor by the bed, then to Harry, who stood there with his wand half raised.

And then their eyes met.

For a second- a fleeting, hopeful second- Sirius swore he saw that familiar spark of trust.

And he was right.

Remus disarmed them all with a move so fast none of them could have seen it coming.

He was still staring at Sirius, the longer they met eyes the softer Remus' expression grew. Sirius could see it clearly, the sorrow, the grief, twelve years had aged them both.

Sirius could only hope Remus' had been easier.

When Remus spoke, memories crashed over Sirius, Remus' voice shook with a similar feeling, the immense loss that cradled them, the love they had once shared,

"Where is he, Sirius?"

Sirius felt shock hit him in waves.

Remus trusted him. Remus knew about Peter. He wasn't going to Azkaban.

On the surface, he kept his cool mask, raising a skeletal finger towards the pathetic rat across the room.

"But then..." Remus whispered, looking at Sirius like he always used to, as if the answers were written across his face, "...why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless-"

Remus' eyes suddenly widened, "unless he was the one... unless you switched...without telling me?"

Sirius couldn't bare to look away, couldn't think of anything past this feeling. Remus would finally understand.

All of those years of pain and torture had lead him to this very moment.

Slowly, watching every minute detail of his expression, Sirius nodded.

And the relief that flooded Remus was nearly tangible. His lips brushed upwards, ever so slightly, in a smile.

"Professor." Harry interrupted loudly, "What's going on?"

But neither of them were listening, Remus was lowering his wand, moving to stand beside him. He grabbed Sirius hand and pulled him up to his feet.

And he embraced him.

Grief and hatred and guilt fell away from them in that moment. Nothing mattered more than the feeling of Remus holding him in his arms.

He wanted to sob. He wanted to scream and shout and jump around proclaiming his love to anyone who would listen.

Remus forgave him.

In that moment he'd forgotten all about Peter. All about James and Lily's son. All about his plan to avenge them.

None of it mattered. Not when he could see the love still flickering behind his eyes.

Remus forgave him.

If Sirius had learned anything in the last twelve years he'd spent alone.

He had learned that was more than enough.

He smiled at him, not as difficult as it had been only minutes ago.

And Remus smiled back.

Sirius could die happy right there, in Remus' arms, without a care in the world.

[blingblong55]

Tolerate it- 141+vaqueros

This is based on a request

I know a thing or two about abusing/narcissistic/ manipulative parents, so if you know the backstory will hit close to home, skip. this was all said and done to me, and I know how hard living with parent(s) like this can be and how much their words affect us.

GN!reader, tw, mentions of abuse, platonic! relationship. daddy issues

Backstory:

It wasn't a lie when you explained to the 141 and los vaqueros men of how you were treated by your father, leading to you developing daddy issues. Your father was a cruel man. He abused you, emotionally and physically. He was in your life, that was no doubt, but he wasn't a dad. Anytime you tried to be open about you feelings, he would shut you down. If you cried, he would hit you until the tears stopped. His words hurt more than any bullet. All you ever wanted was his love and respect. The times you confronted him as the years went by about the abuse he put you through, he would deny it all.

"when did I ever do that? r/n, this is what the internet made you believe, I have always been good to you. Not once did you ever miss school, I work hard to put a roof over you, food over the table. I wish I could die so I could see your pathetic face full of tears."

"but-"

"no, i worked day and night so you could have all this. And this is how you say thank you? by accusing me of all that shit? I am your dad and there is nothing you can do about it!"

tears ran down your face. He hated how you were started to become more independent. He made you stay back a year just so you'd be close. Just so he can keep hurting you.

I know my love should be celebrated,

But you tolerate it,

I greet you with a battle hero's welcome,

I take your indiscretions all in good fun,

I sit and listen

"If this is how you treat your dad I don't want to know how you would treat strangers. Aren't you ashamed? I am the man of the house and you treat me this way? You are a disgrace to my family. I told your mother that I never wanted you, and yet here we are. I pay for all this! I am your dad and you will respect me."

You looked down, just like when you were a child he gave you the same speech. At times he would take his belt off place it on the table and threaten you with it. Since then, you learned to recognize whether he was mad, annoyed or any other emotion. You also memorized the way his steps sounded like, just in case he came near your room. At times when your mum and your father would argue, you'd hide in your closet and cry.

Over the years, you moved away. You packed your things one night and never looked back. You moved on, it was hard to just leave, but it had to be done. At times he hunted you down and would try and be 'a better parent', you always declined and moved to a far place.

-----

Now, you stood in front of your team mates. You looked down like you did when you were a child. Afraid that if they say you cry, they might hit you until the tears stop. You fought them back and looked up. A small weak smile appears on your fragile lips. "so, thats why I have...daddy issues." you laughed a little, a small way of coping and your therapist named it.

"I love all of you, because in you I seek what I couldn't find in the arms of my father." your smile was still on. If only words could describe the pain they all felt. You had become their little sibling, the one they swore to always protect, and now here you stood. Telling a story most will never live through and the one most won't make out of.

These were their personal reactions/thoughts/actions.

Price:

He hated to see you like this, you were a daughter to him, His' mini me'

As you told them your past, he wiped a few tears away, biting his inner lip and shaking his head.

He wanted to ask Laswell for your fathers whereabouts, just for a little chat.

He was the one who hugged you first. As his hands rubbed you back he said "there there now, let it out r/n. I'm here, no one will ever hurt you like that." (giving beautiful boy vibes)

So much pain and yet you are still here, my toughest little soldier

He soon walked away, he didn't want you to see him angry.

On his browser stood the question(s): what is daddy issues? how do you help someone with daddy issues?

He called experts on this, he wanted to help you form a healthy relationship with him.

After that day, he was always more cautious, always trying to not trigger any memory.

Instead he built better memories with and for you.

It all made sense, there was always a reason why you waited by the door for him, how you would draw him, just like a child would, how your hands would always be placed on the table, waiting for some sort of punishment.

Ghost:

fuck was he upset, it reminded him of his own father, but your story? it made him cry.

He was the last one to hug you, but his hug was the longest and also the most vulnerable he'd been with anyone

Please, don't ever suffer with that alone

He cried when the tears of your eyes fell down onto his shirt. He didn't let go for an hour.

You were his little sibling, the one thing that motivated him to always come back to base.

He knew something was missing to your story, but he never asked, just accepted what was told.

After the whole conversation with them, he was around more often, always telling you how proud he was of you. Even if it was something small, he was there, cheering you on.

Admiration, that is what he felt towards you. You could've been another fucked up story about a kid who did worse than how they were raised, but no. You were here now, the most skilled solider. His favorite friend.

It would've been stupid if he treated you different after you told them all, but he knew it has to be done, it was the only way he knew how to show you he would never be like that man.

"y'are tougher than me kid, y'know that?" "oh stop it man, y'are feeding me ego." you responded, he shook his head, a small chuckle left his lips. He nudged your shoulder "oi" you both laughed, and as he looked down his heart ached.

You made things for him, small and stupid little things and even though he acted all bothered and threw some shade at ya, he kept them all. They became the trophies he placed on a shelf.

Gaz:

You and him had a close bond, always joking around anything, but that day it made him realize a lot of fucked up things you mentioned before. Back then he thought they were jokes.

He was the second to give you a hug, and even though you cried as he whispered some sweet stuff, his jokes made your heart ease a little.

You are truly a box of chocolates r/n

When everyone else was asleep, he knocked on your door. In his hands he had some snacks and his pillow and blanket. "sleep over?" he asked, and awkward yet sweet smile fell upon his lips.

When you fell asleep he cuddled you. The entire night and almost all of the morning he kept himself awake, thinking of everything that was said and done to you.

He silently cried. How can someone be so..cruel? He knew there were things you excluded and like price, he wanted to search how he could help you.

But mind you, this man will tell jokes about you having daddy issues with soap. So be aware of that.

"you did great out there kiddo, proud of you for that last move." Price patted your back and walked back to the rookies, you teared up a little. "psst, your daddy issues are showing." Gaz said and laughed as your face went from lost puppy to baffled by his comment.

He apologizes later in the day, but he knows you too well and he knows you're more than fine with his banter.

At times he feels bad for the moments he talked to you about what he and his dad would do on his time off, he remembered how your eyes would sparkle with joy and sadness when you'd hear how his dad treated him. He promised that next time you two are on leave he'll take his dad and you on a trip, "he can be your dad too!" he hugged you excited to share good memories with you both.

He secretly made a promise to you. Never will I ever let you leave my side, r/n, you are too good for this world and I'd like to see all the good, life will give ya

Rudy:

Although he is perceived as someone kind, I'd like to believe that out of everyone he was the first who wanted to hunt your father down. Make him pay for whatever he put you through.

He and Ghost were the last two to give you hugs. Mainly because he had to make himself strong for both of you.

I like to think he is a few years older than you, so he sees you more as a child to him, (you're like 8 years apart) so of course he and price became very important father figures to you, Price was more of a tough yet sweet dad, Rudy was sweet, kind and compassionate kind of dad. Both men equally protective yet he was more easy going, always willing to see the bigger picture.

When he heard you speak about you having daddy issues and the reason why you had them, he held back tears as he saw how you broke down with every memory and every word that you spoke, his heart broke.

For moments after he went to bed, he tried to sleep. But after much fail, he called a friend of his. After hours he found a way to help with your trauma and how he can be a good figure of you.

This man is such a dad because by accident he went to Spotify and looked up : daddy issues. Best believe he was confused when he saw the pictures and titles of those playlists. He listed to some of the songs though, and he cried while imaging you as a child and even now.

el/la más joven de todos nosotros y, sin embargo, has experimentado cosas peores

For months after, he brought a cup of tea and biscuits and listened to everything you needed to say, he even bought two pillows. One was for hugging, the other was for punching.

Soap:

Yes he is a funny and cool guy around base, but gosh did it fuck him up when his laughing buddy all of the sudden let a wall come down.

He stayed quiet, his mind looking and calling out every emotion that you might be feeling. He hoped it was a stupid prank.

Out of everyone his hugged felt more like home. You had become part of the Mactavish clan after all. His mum and him had a long talk about ways he can make you feel comfortable after that talk, and she suggested to just let you know you were apart of his family.

"scotland forever- I mean mactavish foreva!" you chanted while laughing . He laughed and pulled you by his side, "oh you bastard." he messed with your already fucked up hair.

Like gaz he said many jokes. Some Price actually got him in trouble for others you laughed at. "knock knock" he walked up to you, "who is it?" you answered, annoyed because this was the 3rd time today. "not yer dad!" then gaz stepped in and poorly sang with soap, "don't cry just because ya don't have a dad!" you walk away and they soon tackled you.

There were moments where he was serious about the situation, but he loved messing with you so much. "do you love me because im your bestfriend or is it because I'm older and yer daddy issues are attracting ya to me?" you looked at him and gave him a "deadass?" look. "bet the reason why you worked for Shepard last year was because he was old,,,,by the way, I saw on the Internet that people like you date older people, soooo..." "gosh what?" "how old did ya say yer last date was?" you playfully rolled your eyes and nudged his arm.

You can't convince me other wise he didn't try to host a search party for your mental sanity and the cure to daddy issues.

Him and Rudy asked Laswell for any information about your father, and boy did they have a fun time once Price gave you all a week off.

At times he looked at you and his eyes would gets teary.

I wish I can go back in time and kidnap ya, just so yer life had a better past.

Alejandro:

This man waited until soap gave you a hug, and then he pushed everyone away and hugged you. His heart was beating fast, a knot formed at his throat.

"I'm fine now Ale, it's all better now hermano." you tried to reassure him, but all this man did was keep your head on his chest, and he tried to rock your back and forth just so he can comfort you. Something his partner did with his children.

He was more of the bully but still loves you type of friend. Yes he did push you off your chair during meetings but he'd push your father off a cliff if he could only find him.

Him and Ghost planned something while the others smothered you with affection. It was an alliance that had become dangerous to even themselves.

While he saw you and gaz have sleepovers and your weekly talks with Rudy, he planed and planed, until one day you stopped him. "S'no good, what's done is done. Now c'mere, we have to train."

He got really frustrated in Spanish, this man said so many curse words and they all came out so fast you swore he would soon start to float.

no es justo que lo dejes salirse con la suya con todo esto

It really was unfair how he and the other man grew up with good parents (except ghost, we know what I mean).

But like I said this man was a pain in the ass, like soap he made fun of your daddy issues, always asking if you ever found his dad or himself attractive "I don't know but something tells me you are my friend because of your daddy issues." Rudy definitely made him apologize for that one

He did comfort you at times, but those were rare, instead he told you that whenever you gave him the call he and his men would play a little hunting games with your father.

"what does that mean?'" "nothing, bye now!"

A/n: I know I said this one would be out in a day(at the time of my commitment), but like I said before this is based on a much more personal experience and it was hard not to put all my feelings on this one, sorry for the wait. I hope this is what you had in mind!<3

Tags: @bugboysnumberonefan

[bellabeebe]

⚠ CHAPTER TWO: RUIN ⚠

(trigger warning: blood, bites, grief, implication of self-hate, childhood abandonment, grief)

Lindsay wouldn't talk to anyone. Not even Tyler. Her happy, bubbly self was lost.

She isolated herself from everyone, and now suddenly hated physical touch. She insisted that she would sleep on the floor and didn't let anyone join her. The only person that she wanted to join her was Beth. She missed her an awful lot.

No words could describe how distraught she was the moment Beth was killed. Her heart felt like it had been yanked right out of her chest and crushed.

Since that day, she had been angered by anything. When Tyler tried to hug her or comfort her, she snapped, or when Courtney tried to make her help with protection. All the little things ticked her off. This would never have happened if she had just taken a stand...

Tyler smiled at Lindsay comfortingly, patting the spot next to him on the couch. Lindsay's brows furrowed with sympathy, then anger. She stormed out of the room, Tyler calling anxiously after her. The bathroom was frequently visited by Lindsay in the past few days. She resorted to throwing up and sobbing there, where no one was near.

This zombie apocalypse had changed her so much - it had completely altered her prior personality. She weakly opened the bathroom door, staring at the polished interior. The walls were tiled and pearly, the cubicles perfectly aligned in a row. She stood in front of the mirror.

The girl she was only a few days ago had disappeared, leaving her exhausted outer shell. Large purple eye bags showed and her hair was greasy. This was very unlike her, as she treasured her hygiene.

She washed her face. Tears came to her eyes as she thought about Beth. It was so unfair - why her? In no time at all, Lindsay found herself sobbing and shaking, feeling the burning sensation in her throat directly before throwing up. 

All her anger and hate came flooding from her and she screamed. Her voice warbled and wobbled. This was the type of scream you would hear when being killed.

She heard rapid footsteps approaching the door and Heather burst in, staring at her in terror. "Are you alright?!" She gasped. Lindsay collapsed to her knees and murmured, 

"What did I do wrong? Why is this happening?"

Heather grasped onto the sobbing Lindsay. Lindsay was about to edge away from her when she realized how nice this felt. To be comforted. She felt that Tyler needed a big apology.

"Lindsay, look at me. Look at me!" Heather demanded pleadingly. Lindsay did as asked. "You have done nothing wrong at all. None of this is your fault. Please do not blame yourself. You are not a bad friend, do you hear me?" Heather asked, her mind spinning. Lindsay may be one of the best friends she had ever made, and it truly hurt her that Lindsay did not agree.

Heather helped Lindsay to stand up and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Come on, Linds, let's get you back."

Lindsay timidly ambled toward Tyler, sitting down beside him. He looked at her in relief. "I'm sorry... I was being a terrible girlfriend!" Lindsay wept. Tyler wiped her tears and smiled at her. "Lindsay, I understand. Dealing with something like that must be hard. I know. My mum left my dad and I when I was little. I always thought she'd come back, but she never did. I learned to appreciate those around me, though, like my dad and friends. I knew they'd never leave. Maybe you should do the same."

"But how do I know my friends won't leave? That you won't leave?" Lindsay held onto Tyler, covering herself with a blanket.

Tyler softly replied, "You know I'll never leave you, neither will Heather! She's one of your best friends, right?" Lindsay nodded. Heather had had a past of being manipulative, and the two weren't the best of friends then, but Heather grew to be more kind. She presumed that Tyler wouldn't leave, though - he was her boyfriend! Weren't they supposed to stay?   

Later on in the day, Courtney gathered everyone for a meeting. Trent sighed with annoyance - why did Courtney have to be so bossy, and who put her in charge?

"Listen, everyone! Bad news - we have run out of food." She retorted, nervously laughing.

"Oh God.. that means-" Noah was interrupted.

"Yes, Noah, we need to go outside to get some more. Who would like to accompany me?" There was silence all around the room until several hands were raised. "Right!"

Eva, Izzy, Harold, Ezekiel, Duncan, Heather, and Alejandro had raised their hands. Courtney sorted everyone into groups of two - Eva, Ezekiel, Harold, and Izzy in one group, Duncan, Heather, Alejandro, and Courtney in the other. Courtney told those who were staying to hide and lock all doors.

Once outside, the two groups feasted their eyes on chaos. The entire town was in wreckage, and rubble was scattered everywhere. Dead bodies cluttered the floor, blood and bones all around. Heather gagged. Eva gestured for her team to follow her. There was a grocery store not far from the hall, but all supplies had most likely been taken. Courtney told her group to head for the same place, but Heather had other ideas.

"My family runs a convenience store near my house - it's always packed with food!" Heather beamed, Alejandro quickly seconding her plan. Courtney groaned, but followed. Duncan laughed and nudged her, "Looks like Heather's the boss for once!" Courtney shot him a stern look but then showed a crooked grin. "Oh, shut up."

Back in the hall, the 14 remaining contestants were all huddled in a corner behind a large bookshelf. They decided to talk to keep each other busy. The 3 remaining members of The Drama Brothers were worried sick about Harold. "D'you think he's okay?" Cody asked. Justin nodded - Harold knew martial arts. But Justin's mind wasn't only on Harold, for he was worried about Ezekiel too.

Katie, Sadie, and Sierra chatted about makeup and Sierra's ever-growing fan page on Total Drama. She pulled out her phone and scrolled so the two could see. "OMG, woah!" Sadie gazed at it in awe. Katie complimented her hard work, much to Sierra's excitement.

Owen, DJ, Tyler, Noah, and Geoff played spin the bottle with an empty whiskey bottle. Bridgette lay asleep in a blanket next to Geoff. Leshawna, Gwen, and Lindsay gossipped about boys and such.

In short, they were having a great time together.

Eva and her group had invaded the grocery store in question and were ready to grab some food. Harold heard a noise, though. A groan. This sound was almost identical to a zombie's call. This was his time! He wanted to make Leshawna proud. He found a shotgun behind the counter and loaded it. The noise only got nearer and nearer until it was present just outside the door.

Izzy shrieked, hiding behind Eva. Ezekiel leaped behind the counter and watched as Harold readied the gun and shot. But he missed. And there was only one bullet in the gun. The zombie was quick, too quick for Harold to keep up with. Eva tried to defend him, but the boy told her that her help was unnecessary.

The zombie didn't waste any time, leaned over eagerly, and sunk their teeth into his soft flesh. "Ah!" He winced, toppling over. Izzy looked around frantically. She punched through the glass of the freezer food compartment and grabbed a shard. Then she yelled and stabbed the glass through the beast's face, killing it.

"Harold... are- are you alright?" Ezekiel asked. The kind, caring boy who had once been known as Harold had now transformed. He wasn't human anymore. He was a zombie.   

Tears formed in Zeke's eyes and he felt he needed to take action. Harold was no longer pacifist - he looked back at the remaining group members with vigor in his eyes. 

He wanted to kill them.

'was i meant to feel happy that my life was just about to change?' - Are You Satisfied, MARINA

[shamelessobjectglitter]

lasagna-270kcal

coleslaw-56kcal

garlic bread-217kcal

muesli bar-86kcal

cereal-234kcal

almond milk-26kcal

banana-88kcal

------------

walking=187kcal

sit-ups=850kcal

vent under cut

it was my youngest sisters birthday a few days ago, 8th june, she'll never know who i am, she'll grow up not knowing who i am, or if she does it'll be from my dad who will tell her lies like he told me only she wont have anything to check against to see he's lying, i can still tell the twins apart i think, i saw a photo of them both and i just automatically knew which was which, they'll go up hating me to, and they'll be justified, i left them when it got bad, i didn't protect them, my mum moved and i left them, i love them so much but they'll grow to hate me and im okay with that, but i just want them to know i never stopped thinking about them, i dont know what he's doing to them, probably worse than what he did to me because they're not related to him, what he did to me was mild and some people wouldn't even consider it abuse but it fucked me up, he'll fuck them up too, they're getting to the age where it started to effect me, i look at pictures of them and wonder if its already getting bad for them

im helpless, he tracks their phones, my mum moved us away because he started to stalk and harass me, he knows how to divert and listen in to calls, he reads text messages, everything is monitored, would they even want to talk to me if it wasn't? do they already hate me? they should, im nothing but a coward i should've stayed and helped them even if it killed me, though he probably would have thrown me out after a week for being mentally unstable, thats not an excuse, they should hate me

when i kill myself, im considering unblocking him and sending him and his fiancée messages, to pass along to the kids, but if he knew i was dead he'd start harassing my mum, im always causing problems no matter if im alive or dead

im a fucking creep for caring this much, it makes me feel disgusting that my brain instantly tells me im a pedo and fills my head with shit i dont want to see everytime i think about anything, i just want to die, i want to not have existed, i cause so many problems, if i wasn't conceived my mum wouldn't have stayed with my dad as long as she did, if i wasn't born then so many things in her life would be better

i just want to die

but i cant do that so I'll just starve, except im failing at even that, im eating close to 1000 calories per day, im such a wannarexic

i need to study but all i can think about is wanting to die, guess I'll go slit my wrists in the bathroom or something, my arms are fucked anyway, might as well add to the grotesque skin, why did i ever think i had a chance at love when i look like this, fat, ugly with so many scars all over my body that are obviously sh, how do i expect anyone to love me, i bet if i died now not even my mum would mourn me, she was the only one i was sure would care last time, but now im doubtful

[evita-shelby]

Tie your heart to mine

Chapter 5

Gif by @violaobanion

It is stupid of her to leave her window open in hopes he comes, and yet, just as she’s about to give up on him, she hears him climb up the drainpipe and into her second story window.

Luckily, Dia splurged for the small balcony overlooking the street.

He kicks off his shoes, tosses his coat on the chair and gets into her bed as if nothing happened.

But he is cool against her warm skin, and she loves the way they just fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

“Am I forgiven?” she asks quietly as she moves to get comfortable with him.

Even if he pretends to be tough and all that, Tom is sweet. Makes feel loved in a way no boy or girl had done before.

Likes keeping her close, as if she might disappear the second he falls asleep.

“Yeah. Met your old man, no wonder you lied about who you were.” he answered tucking her under his chin.

“Sorry about him, he’s just very protective of us.” That was one word to say it.

Controlling was another word for it.

“Told him I wouldn’t stop being with you even for all the money in the world. I don’t think anyone’s turned his offer down before.”

She can feel his proud grin as he said it.

“So are you here out of spite, or---” in the short time they’ve been together, she’s come to know he thrives on spite.

Hates the way things are, hates how people assume one thing about him without knowing him and hates being told what to do.

“I’m here because I want to, because I meant it when I said I wanted you for you.” Tom assured her and moved until he was able to look her in the eye. “You’re my girl, if anyone has shit to say about it, I’ll make them regret it."

Hated how some people treated her for being romni, got his heart in the right place, her Tom.

“How sweet of you, Tom.” She shifted on her side and brought her hand to the side of his face, letting her fingers thread themselves in his blond hair.

“Only for you, love.”  He pulled her close and showed her how sweet he was with her.

Strange as it is to say it, he missed the vardo as small as it was.

He’d trade not being able to sit up on her bed without banging his head on the low ceiling over the looks he gets when he leaves the boarding house through the door.

Most girls had left already, Diane had too, saying she had to make a good impression on her first day at work.

Tom knew Diane running out the door dressed like someone’s sexy secretary also had something to do with the longtime Bennett tradition of not saying it back, but even in heels, she had been hard to catch.

“This is a place for decent young women, Tom Bennett. If I see you again, I’ll be calling her father.” Mrs. Johnson said as she gave him some breakfast to take to his dad and sister.

“Mr. Shelby doesn’t scare me, and he knows it, ma’am.” He said and added knowing her threats didn’t mean anything, really the woman was just watching out for him like always. “Besides, I’m serious about Diane.”

“Careful, got some girls upstairs who thought you were serious with them too.” She warns him before sending him on his way. “Give my regards to your family, Tom.”

Always made more food than she should, she’d lie and have Lois bring enough for three people when mum died.

When Diane admitted to looking for a place to stay, he knew the place. Run by a good and honest woman who would not give a shit that she was Romni and Mexican and Catholic.

He’d shown her the room with the small balcony, climbed up there that first night like Romeo and broken-in the bed with her.

Tom had thought it was over when her mum showed up at the station and Diane revealed the truth about herself.

He had assumed she was just another bored rich girl using him for her entertainment and ready to toss him over when she got tired of some poor fucker with no future.

Then Thomas Shelby with his tight car and his mountain of money had told him he could never even speak to Diane ever again.

Nothing like a good threat to make Tom be sure of something.

And he was damn sure he wouldn’t feel like this about a girl who wasn’t Diane.

Diane who loved him and been brave enough to say it while Tom got tongue tied and couldn’t repeat the words he told her fucking dad earlier that day.

Must be a Bennett thing, Lois hadn’t said it back and lost her posh boy and now maybe his pretty Romni girl would drop him for the same thing.

Diane had learned since she was old enough to understand that this would be her future.

And yet she feels woefully inadequate as she enters the factory as Miss Shelby.

She dressed as seriously as she could, like someone who has run a company before.

Diane wants to throw up.

And yet when she sits on the leather chair on the desk with the plaque reading Diane E. Shelby, Director, she has never felt more excited about anything career-wise.

If she were successful, she would be Director of the Manchester Branch of the Shelby Company one day.

Better yet, she had her friends and Tom.

Tom who she told last night that she loved him.

And just like his sister, he had not said it back.

She had said it in the heat of the moment, as they came down from the high of a good and long fuck.

She had felt so sure, so bound to him as if she had loved him in a lifetime before, only for him to just not grow quiet and still as he lit his cigarette.

Tom who can’t shut up even during sex, Tom who had her coming undone with praises until she looked at his shining blue eyes and said, ‘I love you, Tom.’

God, she had fucked it up again.

First for lying, now for saying it first.

But no matter, work is enough to push it to the back of her mind and remind her that love, like her career, will take time.

Her day is almost done when her telephone rings.

“Shelby Company, Miss Shelby speaking,” Di answered knowing fully well who is on the other end of it.

“What are your plans for supper, Miss Shelby?” Tom asks with a grin she can hear from here.

“I don’t know, you tell me, Mr. Bennett.”

[priscilla9993]

I realized just now I didn't ask you! Alice and Robin for unhinged blorbo bingo :D

Alice Jones

If you haven't noticed already, Alice Jones is my top tier blorbo and before her, I didn't think I would ever fall for a character more than Killian Jones. Turns out his pirate daughter from the Wish Realm was the kicker 😍 Whenever she is involved or appears on screen, I'm a blubbering mess of sounds, sometimes wailing "You can't do this to me! How are you so-? AAAAAH, I can't even!" I can't get enough of her and wish we got more time with her. Seriously, Alice is a treasure trove that I would gladly dissect under a microscope. Of course, she goes through so much angst. Like there's a whole bucket of items, whether through abandonment, isolation, loss of a loved one (can't be in contact with her father, loses Robin w the curse, says goodbye to the Troll) and childhood home, social rejection, economic struggles, betrayal, broken promises, memory loss, mental illness, and a loving but unusual upbringing. I'm sure anyone who goes through any of this would need therapy or owe it to themselves to be allowed to heal. But, I love how she isn't defined by her experiences and is irrevocably true to herself. We see this from how she hates being called "Alice from Wonderland" as it's THE one trip that she's known for (filled with a bag of emotions and experiences she won't linger on) and says goodbye to her past self she bottled up nicknamed "Tower Girl", but remains content as Alice, continuously growing and facing what scares her. She takes it all with an enthusiastic "been there, done that" and rolling with the punches kind of attitude. Alice is so strong that it makes me want her to be allowed happiness! I want to protect her from the writers that keep putting her in angsty situations left and right, but at the same time, it hurts so good and she gets comforted often enough that I'm glad it's filled with angst. In other words, hurt her and you bet I'd get involved, guns blazing!

I got to give it up to Rose's acting because I'm not sure if anyone else could have played this character with as much emotional range, i.e. one moment making you think Alice is not right in the head to smack dab relatable in terms of emotions and basic needs that you just want to cry or be happy with her. I think this is the only character I'd label as "Insane" with tons of sparkles and affection as, from first glance, it's easy to ignore and label her as such *coughs and stares at certain toxic fandom people*. However, she's the most sarcastic, fun loving, wholesome ray of sunshine if you give her a chance and just listen. I'd take the insane bit as she may think, speak, and do things differently from the "norm", but there's more complexity and humanity than meets the eye.

Lastly, I want to address the "Mommy Issues". No way, no how is Gothel mother material and she made up a bunch of excuses and threats when it came to claiming mothership (ewww). However, I died at the thought of Tilly/Alice expressing her frustration of being abandoned by her mother, going up to Rogers (a friend/roommate that feels like a dad) and asking him the what ifs, and ultimately wanting "a mum to tuck me into bed" type. I sob at the thought of how she's grown, managed to survive in the world without a mom that everyone typically has as a nurturer and role model, yet still has the want of every child to be loved and cared for by parents known or unknown. Alice deserves the world and I'm so glad she gets that from everyone else that sees her beautiful soul. I think the rest of the bingo requires no explanation as there's nothing like a blorbo in making you want to see them get hurt and then protected, loved, and embraced like they deserve. Overall, she's a pwecious widdle bubububububbb that has two protective dads, a badass and modern day wifey, a laugh until your stomach hurts mum in-law, and I'm pretty sure everyone wants to adopt and support her.

Robin Mills

Robin Mills, a rebellious and competitive teenager who grows into a courageous and adventurous soft bean and archer who wants to find her place and identity in the world, even if she has to stumble as a mean girl or in her dad's footsteps as Robin Hood before she embraces herself. I put her down in both "Daddy and Mommy Issues" bc I think Robin was so often in the shadows of both her parents, less from themselves but rather Zelena being super protective (understandable since villains kept popping up s1-6 in Storybrooke) and what the close minded people and children of Storybrooke believe happened and will. I think she self imposed upon herself of who she should be since in Storybrooke, "everyone knows everyone" and she didn't want to be seen as weak or be bullied.

Might be diving into some meta or angsty headcanon here, but I wouldn't be surprised if Robin was bullied for not having a dad, living in a farmhouse/cabin on the outskirts of town, or having a mum that used to be a wicked villain but clearly isn't anything without magic, because children can be crass or cruel sometimes, especially when most of them grew up from fairytale heroes and villagers. I think it was easier for Robin to hide behind walls and snarkiness, so that no one could get close enough to understand her. She didn't even know herself, but she tried to the moment what worked for her parents didn't exactly work the same for her. I think there were so many avenues and things Once Upon A Time didn't get to explore with her that would make it easy to say a ten hour speech, hence the half circle and why are they like this? However, if we are talking headcanons and creating details from the small pieces we got, I'm ready to join the discussion. :D

Honestly, Robin needs therapy too from the internal struggles and anxiety she must have had from always wearing a mask and fighting against everything because she didn't know what else she'd have to protect herself from. Heck, if anyone were in her shoes, it's understandable why Robin would run away from her problems and make impulsive decisions (diving headfirst into becoming Gothel's pupil, Robin Hood (female version), staying in NEF or Thailand) rather than face the problems and ultimately, herself. That requires a lot of courage and acceptance that it's okay to not know the answers, break down and cry, and being open to trusting others for support.

In any case, I will fall into the line of defense should anyone come close to hurting them, Robin probably retaliating that she can take care of herself even when it's clear that she's cut up and bruised, barely able to draw the tension needed to release her arrow. 👀Would she make a good whumpee? Add that to the box of I torture them bc I love them. Oof, she would probably hide her embarrassment from being loved or cared for by pretending she hates it or doesn't care for it. Even if I was her friend, I could imagine hugging her and her reaction being a punch out of muscle memory or the cute kind of shoulder/back punch like how dare you?! (affectionate). Overall, Robin is a precious archer who deserves happiness, has a flirty and too nice for her own good wife, a well minding yet embarrassingly silly mom, a doteful father in-law, and a charming cousin with too many extended family members to count.

Double bingo! Woo hoo! Thanks @piracytheorist for the ask <3

[devilsbedstory]

Chapter VI: God Is A Gun, I Can Prove It

There was a happier time once right? A time where families can be together, no drugs, no broken house to live in, no sadness, no fucked up days, no worrying how your gonna get food without cops being called or how your gonna get your next fix. Surely there has to be a better orgin story then this goddamn shit. Sadly though, there was nothing better for me. It was the biggest fuck you I’ve ever had. God is a gun and I can prove it. I had to be about six years old one day when Devil came home, he was coming from school and he always played with me. Feels fucking weird to admit that. Dad was at work, or so we had thought. Mom got a phone call and immediately she told my big brother to watch me. He wasn’t even fucking ten yet and he got tasked with watching over me all by himself as Mom grabbed her keys and shit and fled the house.

The cops had told her that Dad had went in for his graveyard shift that night and pulled a .45 out and shot himself in the head. The suicide note had said he either killed himself there or he’d murder us so he was protecting us from his demons. Fuck his demons, I wanted my dad goddammit. 

“Now the writing's on a wall It won't go away It's an omen You just run on automation”

It wasn’t to long after that Devil had gotten turned on to some stuff that upset Mom. He was always coming home smelling of stuff that didn’t please her. He’d lie and say it was cause he hadn’t showered in a few days (which would be absolutely fucking disgusting if it were true) but she wouldn’t have it. The day he turned sixteen, Mom had told him to watch his eleven (my birthday hadn’t came yet) year old brother, she was grocery shopping. He wasn’t stupid, they fought all the time. He was already on the drugs bad at this point, I hadn’t started yet. What was odd was that her car was already full of grocery boxes, why did she need to go to the store for? Well whatever her reason was, that was the last time my fucking family was together. We had heard through the grapevine from others that she found religion and condemned us both and damned us to hell. Fuck you to. Goddamn motherfucking religious cunts, I hate them all. 

As I helped Storm get her stuff out of the car, I couldn’t help but think about what Devil had done and why did I have to use the knuckles? Those brass fuckers. This all felt like a fucked up dream. Like a commercial dream of my life with this being the longest break ever. So now it was time to get back to my shitty life as I helped Storm from the back seat, but I decided to do something that married people did and I was doing it to make it easier on her.

I picked her up off of her feet and into my arms as I saw her face. She had never seen my house before. It looked like an old Victorian Gothic style house but made out of wood  and concrete. Vines grew up everywhere, lights barely worked cause the sockets were older then shit but the electrical sockets to plug shit in worked perfectly. It was three floors. It was amazing. Plenty of room for her and me.

I know the feeling Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge And there ain't no healing From cuttin' yourself with the jagged edge I'm tellin' you that it's never that bad And take it from someone who's been where your at You're laid out on the floor and you're not sure You can take this anymore

Ok, really it was a piece of shit but it was home to me and Devil. Had been for years, even after Mum and Da left. So, why was I all of a sudden sickened to my stomach? Was it because she now knew some of my very low lows or was it because I was embarrassed she saw where I lived? Devil came out and helped get her bags as I carried her into the house, up those long ass plantation like steps as she let out a long exhaustive sigh as I spoke to her

“Welcome to your new home Storm. It’s not much to you but it is to me.”

[livingmybestfakelife]

My Mother’s Keeper

Summary: You’ve been the only mother that Duke Shelby has ever remembered knowing, and he will do whatever it takes to give you the peace you’ve always given him.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse

A/N: Duke won’t be written as Tommy’s newly discovered son, instead he’s always known about him, and he came into the world under different circumstances

“Mrs. Shelby, Mr. Shelby is home”

“Already? It’s only three o’clock”

“I mean the other Mr. Shelby madam”

“Oh, well alright then, thank you Eunice, tell him I’m in the dining room”

“No need, I’ve found ya”

Duke’s chipper voice walks into the room with a pep in his step, he must’ve had a ball during his trip, even though it looked to be a short one. He gets closer to you to give you a peck on the cheek before handing Eunice his coat and cap, telling her that he wasn’t hungry or thirsty after she asked if he wanted anything, he had all of his attention on you, looking to want to have no distractions, he was rushing your maid out of the room without blatantly doing so.

“You’re back already darling?”

“What, you aren’t happy to see me?”

“Of course I am love, I just wasn’t expecting you back so early, wasn’t expecting you back home for three more days”

“Yeah, something came up, had to cut it short”

“Oh that’s too bad, what happened?”

“Nothing you have to worry about yet”

“Okay”

“You aren’t gonna question me about my secrecy?”

“Duke, after all these years I’ve come to accept that if you and your dad are gonna keep something from me then you’ll tell me when you feel like it, begging won’t make you spill the beans so why try anymore”

He hated that he had to keep certain things from you, but he and Tommy were very protective of you and his baby sister, for the longest time you were the lady of the house, your boys out numbered you, but you finally had someone on your side when you fell pregnant with your first child with Tommy. Arabella Frances wasn’t planned but she was a lovely surprise, for the longest time you were so focused on bringing Duke up that another baby didn’t cross your mind for some reason.

Duke was Tommy and Greta Jurossi’s child, they had him when they were very young but in love, she was his first serious girlfriend, to save Greta from being shamed for being an unwed mother, Tommy raced her down to the courthouse the moment they gotten the news, he made sure to bribe the clerk into dating the certificate a month and a couple of weeks sooner so that it won’t look like they had gotten married only because of her pregnancy, which in a way was the truth, but everyone else didn’t need to know that.

Greta lived to see only one year of Duke’s life before she succumbed to consumption, he was lost after that, no mother for his son to nurture him, be the softer figure in his life that he would desperately need in this world and especially this life. Without being asked you had taken on the role of an unofficial step mother to the baby boy, you were one of Tommy’s most reliable and only female friends, you and Duke grew a bond stronger than he ever imagined in his wildest dreams. You never wanted him to not know of his biological mother, having two photos of Greta in your possession to show him every now and then, telling him stories about how much she adored him in every possible way, you didn’t want to ever lie to him and take credit in how he came to be, it wouldn’t be fair to his mothers memory, but all of that didn’t stop him from still calling you mummy and eventually just mum once he felt that “mummy” was too childish, you were the only one he’s ever known, he couldn’t help but to not miss a woman he had no memory of.

“It’s to protect you mum”

“I know my boy, I understand that now, really I do”

You kiss his cheek and lean back into your chair, picking up your new knitting project of making a little sweater for Arabella, he could tell that his secrecy was getting to you and you only left it alone as to not irritate him, eventually you would find out but not right now, he needed to make sure that his plan would follow through, he couldn’t risk you interfering with something that he knew would avenge the person he cares for the most, but would also make his father proud, two of the things that he valued, his dads pride and his mothers joy, Duke eventually excused himself to get himself changed out of his dingy clothes from his hunting trip and head to the Garrison where his dad was expecting him.

———————————————————————

“I’m here!, dad?!”

“Over here Duke”

Tommy lifts an arm to guide him over towards the back of the empty pub. He was left in worry and suspense as to why his son cut the hunting trip with his friends short to come back home, he had called his dad from the nearest pay phone he could find to tell him that there’s been a change in plans and that he was taking the earliest train back to Birmingham, he was growing tired of the boring posh kids that he ended up having to use to network like his dad was doing while moving up in the political world, they wouldn’t know actual hunting and camping techniques to save their lives, but he eventually made an excuse to leave, telling them that during his call to check in back home he learned that his mother had “fallen ill” and he needed to get back home, the sheltered gullible teens felt bad and understood that he needed to go, not knowing of the true reason.

“I’m glad you could make time to sit with me”

“Well when you tell me that there is an urgent matter concerning your mum then of course I’m gonna come home early”

He smirks at his dad, pleased with the love that he held for you, that he’s willing to drop everything if you were in need. He reached into pocket of his coat to hand him a torn out piece of paper, it looked to be very old and the ink was slightly faded. Tommy was confused with what was handed to him until he was able to make out some words clearly, as the details of the page became more specific he couldn’t help but put two and two together, not to mention that the handwriting looked familiar.

“Where is this from son?”

“It’s from an old diary of mum’s…I didn’t mean to discover it”

“Wendell…I recognize that name”

“Wendell Mercer”

“That’s right, how do you know?”

“He’s been locked up in Emerson Prison for the past twenty years for killing her uncle, that was her step dad right?”

“Not legally, they were courting for about a year, by the time they were supposed to be wed he had shot her brother Aaron in a gambling dispute”

“Yeah but you don’t believe that do you?”

“I always felt that there was more to the story, Aaron wasn’t much of a gambler, but that was the story that her mum always stuck to so what was anything left to say?”

“Hm”

“Come on my boy, what aren’t you telling me?”

“It’s better to let you hear what all the hoopla is about from the source”

He stands up and walks out of the pub without saying another word, Tommy snuffs out his cigarette in an ashtray before rushing behind him, it was killing him about what this was all about, the little bit of details he was given wasn’t enough to satisfy him, what the fuck was his son about to get himself into?

———————————————————————

Duke sped all the way to Charlie’s yard with his dad in tow, not saying a word on the way. This was it, the moment he’s been waiting for.

“Duke what the fuck is going on? Ay?!”

“You’ll see, trust me it’s worth the wait”

He marches onto Uncle Charlie’s property, already knowing what was up and made sure Curly opened the gates for them when they pulled up. Charlie gave his great nephew a knowing look along with a nod, further confusing Tommy, whatever was going on he was more than ready to find out, Duke has never looked as ready to put his fists to good use as he did at this moment, it was serious and he wanted his father to be a witness to it.

In the giant storage room towards the end of the yard was the sound of a muffled yell and heavy breathing, the body that it belonged to was one that Tommy hasn’t seen in years. Wendell Mercer, now with a balding head of grey thin hair, wrinkled skin and tattered clothes, prison has clearly shown him no mercy.

“Mr. Mercer, you remember Thomas don’t you? I just call him dad but you remember him as Thomas Shelby from Watery Lane right? Sure you do”

“Duke, what is going on?”

“Like I said, you should hear the truth from the source”

He stomps over to the mentally and physically exhausted old man tied to a chair that was also tied to a pole, he warned him to keep his yelling to himself before yanking off the handkerchief from his dry mouth.

“Go on you miserable old fuck, tell me dad the reasoning for all of this, I don’t have all fucking day, mum sent the cooks home and is making meatloaf tonight and I’m looking forward to my welcome home meal”

“P-please I’m sorry, I swear to you I regret it everyday, Aaron didn’t deserve the fate he was given, I’m sorry I shot him, I’m sorry I killed him”

“FUCK OFF, that’s not the only reason, tell my dad the real reason why you killed her uncle, gambling dispute my fucking ass, even he doesn’t believe that, tell him the reason why you did it!”

Wendell coughed up some blood, his health problems getting worse during recent years, and being cooped up in a hot storage room with hardly and way to breathe properly only irritated it more.

“HURRY THE FUCK UP”

“Alright…alright look, I’m sorry for that too right”

“Sorry for what Wendell?”

It was Tommy’s turn to speak up, walking a little more closer to him to hear his confession.

“H-her mother, YN’s mother had ended up inheriting a small bit of money when an aunt of hers passed on, and me, I was so deep in my gambling debts that I needed to desperately scrape up any large amount of money that I could, when I found out that she hid the money from me and wouldn’t give it up I got enraged, I begin to take my frustrations out on her, I beat her almost to the point of killing her, and when YN came to try and get me off of her mother…I did the same thing to her, Aaron just so happened to have come to check in on his sister and witnessed me in the middle of beating his niece, so he gave me just what I deserved, I was able to get him off of me just long enough to reach for my gun and…Jesus look I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, you have to believe me, time in that hell hole has rehabilitated me, I pray every day for forgiveness, for Aaron, YN and the woman who to this day I still love, I ruined everything because I couldn’t stay away from the race tracks, I-“

He didn’t have a chance to finish his pitiful speech before Duke shot him in his forehead, neither Charlie or Tommy was expecting that, maybe helping him beat the man to death yes but not this, he was looking forward to at least torture the bastard first, but his son beat him to it.

“An eye for an eye ay dad?”

“Duke, give me the gun”

“It’s mine dad, you gave it to me”

“I’ll get you a new one, now give it here so I can get rid of it”

He tosses the empty pistol to Tommy, only needing a single bullet to complete his goal in avenging his mother.

“It was unfair, after all the good mum has done for other’s, all the love and peace she gives to the world and it decides to hurt her in return, and forces her to carry it for the rest of her life”

“I know son, I know, come on, let’s go home alright, to collect yourself…Charlie?”

“Yeah, I know the drill, this will get cleaned up”

“Right, alright let’s go”

He guides Duke out of the yard and towards the car, what he needs right now is to change out of the clothes that now has blood splatter on it, take a hot bath and get a hot meal that his mum promised to make for him before he left.

“Are you proud of me dad? I got rid of my first enemy, the cause of the pain that has burdened mum all these years”

“You make me proud every day son”

Duke smirks at the validation he receives, in his mind he did the right thing, Wendell didn’t deserve another day of oxygen while the man who should be still living out his golden years was six feet underground, just for defending his sister and niece.

Wendell Mercer would be the first of many lives Duke Shelby would take in his lifetime, but this would be the one he’d be the most proud of, because he did it out of love.

[levisblackbabe]

Headcanons of Aot boys with a black gf

Characters: Eren Jeager , Armin Arlert, Levi Ackerman, Connie Springer and Jean Kirstein x fem black reader (separate)

Genre: Mostly fluff, slight angst, deffo crack, (everyone is +18)

Warnings: Language, a bit toxic, slightly suggestive

Wc: 1500+ (Each character is about 300-400 words)

Eren Jeager (The lowkey Toxic one)

· Lowkey scared of y/n because she reminds him of Levi when she is angry, and he knows she will beat his ass if necessary

· Started out as friends but he has always liked y/n

· He initially asked you out as a dare and you only found out after 6 weeks where you broke up 😐

· This legit started the cycle of breaking and getting back together (he never cheated though just a lil bit toxic)

· He is very possessive and controlling which also lead to your break ups

· Even though you have your ups and down he is mostly a good boyfriend

· He plays basketball so every time he is practising on his own, he asks you to be there for rebounds (in reality he just wants you near him baso 24/7)

· Loves your smell so he steals those items might be your lotion, hair products or perfume

· Loves your natural hair and just touches it without permission after a couple times you just gave up telling him off

· He was confused on why you changed your hair so often

· When you guys first started dating you came with box braids rather then your usual bun and he deadass thought you were somebody else 💀he was so confused on why this stranger was touching him up (this mf loyal cuz he was ready to punch you)

· He was soooo scared of meeting your parents (had to call Armin to ask for advice)

· Your family at first didn’t like him cuz of the constant breaking up but they grew to tolerate him (however your older brother doesn’t)

· Loves taking pictures of you during facetime, golden hour or whenever and saves them in a folder (simp)

· Loves your cooking soo much that he goes collect tubber ware of food worth a week and stocks up his fridge

· He loves when you speak to him in another language so he pisses you off so you can cuss him out in your native tongue

· He barely calls your name its either babe or some cringey name like bubbs or something (however if you hear your full name leave his month rip)

Armin Artlet (The simp)

· SHY BAE that’s it

· He was your English tutor and has always had a crush on you

· He wanted to ask you out on a date, but he shy and thought you won’t like white boys

· You asked him instead cuz you fell for his ocean blue eyes (I mean who wouldn’t)

· In the beginning you had to take the initiative a lot cuz he wanted to respect your boundaries but after a while he grew comfortable and took the lead

· He LOVES your natural hair and knows your wash day schedule, so he always offers to help anyway possible

· He was absolutely scared of meeting your family cuz once again he white 😐 however everyone loved him

· He most definitely invited to the family reunion

· Your aunts adore him and they always talking about you as a baby to him

· He always doing late night ft calls with you, and he WON’T hang up cuz he wants to see your face when you wake up

· Armin is a giver, so he always offers to buy thigs for your and just buy gifts at least once a week

· He also loves cooking for and with you (once you had a cooking competition and technically, he is a better cook, but he let you win)

· He likes sending random pictures of things you like and remind him of you

· He happily takes pictures of you (photographer Armin)

· You guys have a pet turtle called Mickey 🐢

· His nicknames for you are beautiful, pretty and stuff like that

· Just overall fluff

Levi Ackerman (the co-worker)

· You guys have been co-workers for 2 years actually

· You thought he hated you but in reality, he does he just acts stingy towards cuz he is Levi 😐 (some serious enemies to lovers vibe)

· He didn’t confess and never would have but due to a drunken Hange letting it slip during a hang out with your co-workers you found out

· He deadass ignored you for a week like if he saw you, he would turn into Houdini and disappear

· However, you once caught him distracted and forced him to talk to you

· Reluctantly so he spoke the truth and asked you out (thought he seemed angry about it)

· Now you guys have happily been dating

· Everyone in your office finds you lucky cuz Levi is the finest man in the office heck the world (if he was real, I would leave my bf 😭)

· He actually has a 5-year-old daughter (DILF! Levi) and told you why he never said anything about his feeling was because you know single dad and shiz

· After 6 weeks you met his babygirl and she is the cutest she loves you considering she never had much of a mother figure in her life

· His daughter is mixed so he knows how to deal with natural hair thanks to YouTube, so he sometimes helps with yours (such a good dad)

· But now that you are here you offer to do any protective styles and give him tips

· Levi isn’t very open, but he expresses his love to you with physical touch, acts of service or gifts

· However, he speaks very softly to his daughter he seems different

· Due to his love language being touch he loves petting your hair (only when you have protective styles) and putting his head on it ( he is tall in my head okay)

· He loves having you in close proximity to you and just somehow touching you

· Him and your dad really hit it off because they both have daughters

· Your aunts are lowkey infatuated with him

· Loves making breakfast for you but due to your busy schedule he just buys your coffee in the morning

· He will never tell you, but he has trouble falling asleep but when you sleepover he actually has a full nights rest (he has silk sheets just for you)

· He might seem closed off, but you know he loves you due to the little things

Connie Springer (the bestfriend)

a/n I just want to say Connie will be of Hispanic heritage for the sake of this headcanon also because all the fanfics I read about him he is portrayed as Hispanic I just write him like this however this isn’t to offend anyone or play onto stereotypes.

· You guys have been besties since freshman year high school

· You hooked up freshman year of college and been dating ever since

· Nothing really changed in your dynamic other than the fact yall kiss and do the deed

· Like you legit call each other insults though Connie likes calling slime and bubbs

· You jokingly calling each other baby mama and baby daddy (manifesting kids but whatever)

· Speaking of kids, you have plushies that you call kids and rotate them around (they are from your arcade date)

· Loves being on call with you when he is playing because it helps calm him down and not break his tv (anger issues much)

· HYPEMAN if you are looking fine asf he will hype you up so much and offer to take pictures for the gram

· You have a joint TikTok account where you reaching 10k and just do dumb couple stuff its cringey but cute (Same goes for your joint spam account where you guys just do silly things together)

· He always asks to do your hair which you repetitively deny keeping in mind last time you let him he nearly ripped off half your scalp

· Late nights drives happen a lot so you can vent and have a heart to heart under the stars, you guys also just vibe to the music and might spend hours in silence looking at the city lights and dancing

· If you fall asleep on him or in the drive back he becomes really cute and soft and just says you are beautiful and that he loves you in Spanish (ugh my heart)

· He only speaks Spanish when he wants to be cute and knows you won’t understand

· Your family have always liked him so when you guys started dating everyone was like ‘FINALLY’ (same with his family)

· Some type of kid’s movie marathon once a month cuz being a child is great

· Its just overall jokes

Jean Kirstein (Mr Doesn’t Give Up)

· Kept asking you out for a year until you gave in, he was so excited he kissed you straightaway

· He was so nervous in your first date, but he was a gentleman opening doors etc (whoever said chivalry was dead 🤨)

· Nearly said I love you on the first date considering he has liked you for a year, but he held it in

· However, he did get a kiss goodnight on the cheek (he was grinning like a fool)

· Loves the fact that you change your hair so much and so often that he happily gives recommendations and offers to help you out

· He is the overprotective type of boyfriend so he was reluctant on you meeting his friends especially Eren, but you reassured him that you wouldn’t be swayed (still icky about you hanging with Eren though)

· He adores playing pc games with you and you have a little family in Sims4 which is cute

· He now has a skincare routine because you introduced him to it (he said he didn’t need one cuz he has a ‘handsome face’ but he secretly started one lol

· He also steals your body lotion and legit smells like you (smh)

· His wrist always has a silk crunchie in case you need it, and, in his car, he has a bag with essentials for you such as pads, edge control, etc

· He calls you cute pet names but also the occasional insults as a joke

· He is lowkey rich, so he happily spoils you to fancy dinners and more

· He also likes going back to the basics so picnic dates in the spring and summer are common he says he cooks them but in reality, it’s his mum

· Your mum absolutely adores him cuz he is a ‘charmer’

· He likes facetiming you when he is working out so he can show up, but you just ignore him and continue doing what you are doing

· Like Eren he has a folder filled of mugs of you

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[cursestothemoon]

yay for the open requests! I really reallyyyyyy love your Harry's older sister hc, could u pretty pls do more? like their brief life as a family with lily and james, then to the dursleys and then at war, so on. I agree with the anon that did the request, harry does needed a bigger sister❤️

aH I LOVED THESE REQUESTS

YOU GUYS CAN READ THE HEADCANONS THIS ANON IS TALKING ABOUT HERE

ok so this is L O N G i need to add a keep reading tab

alright so let's talk about harry's older sister

so lily and james did not plan you

they were straight out of hogwarts

just having fun

and suddenly lily is having morning sickness and james running into a store to buy a pregnancy test (or whatever the wizard equivalent would be 😗)

james would be so nervous the weeks leading up to your birth

he already knows that you aren't even here yet and there isn't anything he wouldn't do for you

and when you are born

he swears he'd never love anything as much as he loves you

his little girl

this sweet little lump of baby fat that was born with eyes just like his

he'd put his glasses on your little baby face, and he could laugh for hours at the way they just barely sat on your little nose (a miniature version of his)

your chubby little baby hands are his favorite

when you'd plan your hands on his face or wrap your hand around his finger he'd melt

Lily would joke all the time about how she carried the baby yet James is constantly hogging her

I think james would have some serious separation anxiety

Lily would also have trouble leaving you to go do something but she knew that you getting to see other people would be good

james is NOT a fan

and you were a big daddy's girl

"it's going to be alright, darling, uncle Padfoot and uncle Moony will take care of you."

and you'd respond with sad baby talk, something along the lines of 'daddy' and 'wanna stay with you' and you'd get all teary eyed

it's a whole dramatic scene

youre crying

james is about to cry

Sirius is quite literally trying to sob silently into his hand because you just look so sAD

and remus and lily are just

😐

because you guys do this eVERY TIME

there was one time james got back into the car with lily after dropping you off and he was unusually quiet until he kinda just whispered out

"It just feels like i'll never have enough time with her, like one day i'll wake up and suddenly she's not mine anymore."

his tone gave Lily the worst chills, his tone and the fact that she felt the same though never voiced it

honestly

i don't think harry was planned either

he kinda just happened

and they were like

you know what, yes.

so you were two when harry was born

and you LOVED your baby brother

he was so small

so cute

and he had your mum's green eyes

from the get go you were very protective of your little brother

james thought it was the cutest thing

ok ive been avoiding it

but we need to talk about October 31 1981

you were upstairs with our mum and harry

james was downstairs cleaning up from dinner

that was when there was a knock on the door

assuming it was peter, uncle wormtail, james was quick to go open the door

grabbing his wand for protection was the last thing on his mind

the thud of his body was loud

he was killed before he could even open his mouth to warn Lily

the door to Harry's nursery flew open and it all happened so fast

there was screaming

bargaining

a sudden flash fo green before Voldemort turned to harry

his cold, pale hand pushed you out of his way

the prophecy had said nothing about you, so he didn't care for what happened to you he just needed to kill harry

which obviously backfired

half the house was blown up

he was gone

harry was crying

and you just wanted your dad

you found your way downstairs, just barely making it down the steps

lily and james had never let you go up or down the steps on your own

only to come face to face with your dad just lying on the ground motionless

his eyes were still open

now i want you guys to think of the lion king

you know the scene where simba finds mufasa's dead body and just lays with it because he doesn't know where else to go

you just wanted any kind of comfort you could find

so with tear streaks going down your face you slayed next to your dad, getting as close as you could, hoping he'd just wake up

sirius is the one who finds you, asleep next to james' body

it was rather rough for sirius

and he could hear harry crying somewhere upstairs

you wake up to uncle padfoot trying to keep in his tears as he takes in the scene before him

you're just glad to see a familiar face

you run over to him, tears freshly falling as you wail about how daddy and mommy won't wake up

you also gently pull james' glasses off his face and keeping them in your small hand

keeping them safe for him later

you knew he didn't like to sleep with his glasses on

eventually hagrid shows up

you guys know the story

but i will say

it takes a lot for you to leave uncle pads and go with this big strange man

youre basically heaving as you beg to stay with sirius

and forcing you off his hip and onto the bike with hagrid was the worst thing he's ever had to do

even for a two year old, youre eyes held such a strong emotion of betrayal

sirius would never forget it

the dursley's were not fond of you and harry

you had james temper and stubbornness

harry was just a 6 month old baby

doing 6 month old baby things

for the first month you'd ask for james, lily, uncle moony, uncle padfoot, even uncle wormtail on a daily basis

until one day petunia just snapped

you had asked about sirius, or as you called him uncle padfoot, and petunia lost it

she started to shout, her hand coming out to strike your cheek as she told you that no one was coming

not now

not ever

you never asked after that

over time you forgot about sirius and remus and peter

you forgot about the song your dad would sing every saturday morning when making breakfast

or the way your mom would hum when she brushed your hair

all lily and james had become were familiar scents and the same pair of eyes you'd see in your dreams (though for a long time you just assumed they were your eyes, they looked enough like yours)

and you grew up always feeling like you were on the wrong side of a billowing curtain

you and harry grew up only having each other

you were very protective of him

and dudley hated it

because you had James art for pranks

and his art for rarely getting caught

unfortunately for you petunia and vernon didn't need evidence to incriminate you

you were often on the receiving end of disciplinary swats and missed meals

and you'd often take harry's punishments for him

you and harry were also forced to share a room

or cupboard

you let him decorate it with all his things (he didn't have many)

and you guys shared a bed up until you got your hogwarts letter

which that was kept very quiet

you got the letter

and petunia and vernon were just glad to be able to send you and your pranks away

you weren't allowed to tell harry

but you did anyway

secretly

you didn't tell him all the details but you told him that you were going to a school far away and you'd be back whenever aunt petunia let you back

going to school was interesting

you didn't know anyone

bUT HAGRID WAS ALSO THERE TO HELP YOU AND BUY YOU YOURE STUFF AND HE BOUGHT YOU YOUR FIRST WAND

you still have james' glasses

you put them on when youre nervous

so youre sitting in the train

first day

you don't know anyone

big round glasses sitting on your nose as you look out the window barely able to see what's going on

james was as blind as a bat

on the train you spend your time reading your new books

absorbing all the material

you were not going to just walk into this new school of mAGIC not knowing aNYTHING

by the time you got there you were at leas base level with most subjects

some were easier to catch onto than others

as long as you didn't let the logical side of your brain do too much work

within the first week you'd find out about your parents

curtesy of older gryffindor kids who knew your last name and were just amazed by the story

oH ALSO YOURE IN GRYFFINDOR

AND WHEN MCGONAGALL READS YOUR NAME SHE GASPS TO HERSELF

BECAUSE

Y/N POTTER

she remembers when james had written to her with the news of Lily's pregnancy with you

and how he was nervous you'd come out just like him and he wouldn't be able to handle you as well as she had, he was asking her for advice

and when you walked up to sit on the chair she nearly dropped her scroll of parchment and pulled you into a hug

you looked just like him

dark hair

pale skin

same eyes and eye shape

and same habit of picking at the skin around your thumb nail when nervous

the hat announcing you were a gryffindor was very overwhelming for her

then she realizes you

are e x a c t l y

like james

and merlin is she tiRED OF THIS SHIT

ok so at this point i am going to direct you to the other headcanon (linked above) if you want a more fred x reader approach 

continue here if not

so youre on the quidditch team

and youre a natural 

let me tell you

you just have the innate ability 

much like james

and at first they had you as a seeker

and you were good

but you excelled as a chaser 

i also firmly believed that there was a practice broom that james had carved his name into

or maybe just a ‘J.P.’

that was the broom you'd practice on

even use for games before you got your own broom

ok so

let’s talk your relationship with harry 

you made sure you were the one to tell him what happened to your parents

as i said it was your first year when you fond out about what happened 

the gryffindor student had told you what they knew

and you went to professor mcgonagall pretty distraught 

you were near tears as you practically begged her to just tell you what happened, you wanted the truth 

because all your life your aunt and uncle had told you that your parents had been killed in a car accident 

needless to say 

you didn't want harry to find out that way

but you also knew he was noticing the stares

the whispers

so you told him on the first night

he had already been put into gryffindor and was getting ready for bed when you are up to his dorm 

bECAUSE IT’S CANON THAT GIRLS CAN GO UP INTO THE BOYS DORMS AND BOYS CANT GO UP INTO THE GIRLS DORMS AND I WILL CITE THE PARAGRAPH IF ANYONE NEEDS

and you kinda push out ron, neville, and dean 

but yeah thats how he finds out all the details and such 

ok so you and harry are sUPER CLOSE

and you are very 

v e r y

protective of harry 

you'd do anything for the kid 

wHEN YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THE WHOLE SORCERER’S STONE FIASCO 

YOU ARE LIVID

because harry is your baby brother and you love him so much and don't like seeing him hurt 🥺

as harry grows older he gets a bit more

embarrassed 

about having you protective over him

and im pretty sure i mentioned this in the last headcanon post 

but yeah he’d be like 14 and you'd be 17 and he'd just

“stOP this is so emBARRASSING”

what a little dweeb

ok leTS TALK ABOUT SIRIUS 

BECAUSE YOU AND SIRIUS WERE CLOSE WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER

HE WAS UNCLE PADFOOT

YOU LOVED HIM

until your fifth year (harry’ third) when you were told he betrayed your parents and got them killed 

youre in the whomping willow when with harry, hermione, and ron 

its a lot for both of you

because sirius is seeing his goddaughter who looks just like james, and his the same fire in her eyes as his bestrfriend

his b r o t h e r 

and youre seeing the man who was responsible for your parents murder 

again 

it was A LOT

i have a feeling you, JAMES POTTERS DAUGHTER, would just lunge at him 

and youre crying

trying to hit him

hurt him like he hurt you

just anything to bring pain upon this man

and sirius is having flashbacks of when you had ran to him from next to james’ lifeless body 

and how different everything had been just days prior to October 31 1981

upon finding out the truth 

scammers is now wormtail

peter ‘little bitch ass’ pettigrew

you and harry are immediately forming this connection

this sort of dependency on sirius 

within a few minutes

because he is the only living connection you have to your dad 

apart from yourselves of course

but eh was the only reminder that james potter was a real man 

and lily potter did exist 

and there was a time where your family was complete 

it never crossed your mind that any more misfortune could strike 

not now 

not when you finally got back your uncle pads

and then you guys walk into the moonlight, the full moon light

everything flips instantly 

you guys are back to square one 

i like to think you have a very big part in getting sirius free 

so you guys know what happen in between prisoner of azkaban and order of the phoenix 

and this headcanon is already getting very long and we haven't even gotten to the wAR YET 

so we are doing a little time jump

order of the phoenix 

your last year

you are living with sirius in grimmauld place 

petunia and vernon kicked you out once you turned 17 after finding out that was the legal age in the wizarding world

you and sirius are close 

super close

i mean he is like a father figure to you

he is uncle pads again

oOO AND OK 

SO 

AFTER FINDING OUT HIS DAD AND HIS BROS 😤

WERE ALL UNREGISTERED ANIMAGI 

OBVIOUSLY YOU WANTED TO BE ONE TOO 

youre a gazelle 

it just makes sense

father figure sirius is not happy when he finds out

uncle pads, however, couldn't be happier

its finally starting to feel like a family again

you and harry have sirius 

aLSO REMUS

icon

anyway

everything is falling into place

you and harry are filling the james sized hole in Sirius’ heart (not completely but it’s better)

and he is doing the same for you two

you and harry love your uncle pads

then the battle in the department of mysteries happens 

youre there

you see it 

you watch as bellatrix hits sirius with a curse 

youre not sure which 

nothing too serious you hope, and seeing that he’s still standing he should be fine 

but then he stumbles

she's stunned him perhaps 

and he makes eye contact with you

there was a look so final, so sad

yet so relieved in his eyes as you watched him fall through the veil

remus grabbed harry

tonks held you

if she hadn’t been you knew you would've thrown yourself into the veil after him

its a whirlwind from then on let me tell you

so we know what happens

all that fun stuff 

the war hits

harry, hermione, and ron leave

youre left with the weasley’s 

it’s hard being away from harry

not knowing if he was ok

if he was even alive 

you guys finally reunite at shell cottage 

bill calls you the second he sees harry, hermione, ron, and dobby apparate in front of his house

you were quick to pull harry into a bone crushing hug 

keen on never letting go 

because after all he is still (and always will be) your baby brother 

you guys are all at the battle of hogwarts

oK WAIT

SO

YOU REFUSE TO LET HARRY WALK TO HIS DEATH ALONE

ALSO YOUVE FIGURED WHAT HE PLANS ON DOING BUT NEITHER OF YOU HAVE SAID ANYTHING

NOT WANTING TO ACCEPT THAT THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME YOU GUYS SEE EACH OTHER 

AND THE RESURRECTION STONE COMES OUT 

BOTH YOU AND HARRY ARE HOLDING ONTO IT 

AND SUDDENLY

SIRIUS 

REMUS 

THERE ALL THERE 

EVEN A WOMAN WITH RED HAIR 

AND A MAN WHO LOOKS PAINFULLY FAMILIAR 

ok so hear me out 

i think harry enjoyed looking at pictures of james and lily

but you didnt

you didnt want to see everything that was taken from you

so you weren’t super aware of what your dad actually looked like seeing as you avoided pictures of him and your mom like the plague 

but you just knew 

and james was standing there

beaming

and he just looked so proud of you and harry 

so did lily 

she was the first one to say something 

“Your father and I are so proud of the both of you”

and you just broke down 

james right there with you 

he watched as you sobbed, choking on your cries 

and he couldn’t do anything about it 

he couldn’t hold you or comfort you

he couldn’t be a dad 

and it broke him

as much as it could break a dead man 

“you’ve grown so beautiful, darling” he'd smile sadly

his voice seemed to bring back all of your memories once lost 

“have you always been here, with us?”

“always.”

“typical, your father shows up and everyone forgets about uncle padfoot”

both you and harry laugh at that 

but the mood was somber 

harry then speaks up

“does it hurt?”

it was the first time either of you had confirmed that you both knew what was going to happen 

“dying? not at all, quicker than falling asleep.”

“will you stay with me?”

“until the very end. 

james is the one who answers, looking teary eyes at his son

and you know you cant go any further 

harry has to do this alone 

its quite symbolic actually 

the one time you'd let go of the reigns 

removed the protective arms you had around your baby brother 

he’d die 

but you had to do it 

so everything goes as planned 

harry dies

comes back

we love a resurrecting king 

and the war ends 

when you got back home from the war 

let’s say you are still living at grimmauld place seeing as it was left to you 

the first thing you do is go through old photos with harry 

any and everything you can get your hands on 

you see your mother’s sparkling green eyes

the same eyes your brother had 

and your father’s unruly mop of curls 

the same wave pattern in your dark hair 

everything finally felt right 

tags:

@pogueslandia

@vsawyer1989​

@lifeofkaze

@siriusement

@erinruby003

@maybesandohnos

@onlyfreds

@fullofsourgrapes

[dangerouslyallaboutdraco]

Could you write a Draco Malfoy x Slytherin !Potter!reader. Y/N and Draco have been dating since first year but haven’t told anyone because people think she might be the only “good slytherin” and to prevent Harry from freaking out they stay quiet till the Quitage World Cup where she goes with Draco and his father and spent the summer with them rather than the weasles . Pansy and Blaise know about Y/N and Draco because the 4 of them became best friends through the years (and reader won’t be only friends with Harry’s friends) . Harry and Y/N get into an argument when they return to Hogwarts the summer of the Triwizard cup and how she’s a traitor (EVEN tho that’s her house) and a disgrace for being with him. So she accepted that and that he hates her so she spends the next year mainly with her house giving the trio the cold shoulder and when the war happened draco and his mother protected her and hid her so Harry was looking for her that time but she was gon so after the war the 4 (Draco Pansy and blasé) walk into the great hall and the golden trio see that Y/N is engaged to Draco and Harry just apologizes and they catch up after all those years.

The Potter Twins

A/n: This has got to be one of the best requests I've ever seen anyone answer. I'm so gratefully you asked me to write it!! Thank you. Also, I did use lines from the book just to make the story work. I could have probably written a whole series so this is very long, I'm sorry. @loxbbg

"Y/n Potter." Professor McGonagall's shrill voice boomed. Just like that, the whole school's attention was on Y/n.

So many students, so much older than her, all focused on her. Probably, she had only just discovered, because of her last name.

The girl and the boy who lived. Apparently, they were famous.

On their 11th birthday, she hadn't expected a giant wizard man to come and whisk the twins away from the horrible Dursleys. But, he was nice and he knew their parents.

Y/n was always treated better than Harry. Aunt Petunia seemed to love her more, even letting her have a big bedroom.

Hagrid, she found out, had taken them shopping and brought them ice cream. While she thought it was all a hallucination when she was able to run through a wall, she knew something strange was happening.

After that, she had met a redhead, Ron. He was dorky but kind to the siblings. And, he seemed to know a lot about the wizarding world.

Y/n took a few tentative steps before sitting on the stool. She was hyperaware of the fact everyone was watching, not able to keep the blush off her cheeks.

The heavy hat was draped onto her head, weighing her down.

"Hmm, the other Potter. You would do good in Gryffindor." The hat whispered to her, making her widen her eyes. She hadn't expected it to talk. It was an object. How could it possibly talk?

Y/n was amazed at the whole thing. It still felt like a dream. The great hall was phenomenal, and she couldn't wait to explore the castle. It was unreal.

Y/n flicked her eyes to her brother. He was already sitting at the Gryffindor table, smiling at her. She hoped she would get to be with him, even though she didn't grasp the house concept. Plus, he was near the other girl, Hermione.

Hermione seemed to know a lot about wizards, and Y/n wanted to be informed. It was like she had finally discovered her missing part.

"I remember your parents. I think you could do just like them." The hat continued. Y/n kept hoping. Hoping she wouldn't go without Harry. The thought of her parents made her heartache, she knew so little about them, but she had heard so much about them in the last few days.

"Slytherin!" The hat roared. Y/n's eyes instantly widened, looking frantically at her brother. How was it possible? The hat had decided she would do good in Gryffindor. She wanted to be with her brother and Ron and Hermione.

Just like that, the hat was off her head. Y/n was speechless as she wandered over to the Slytherin table. Somehow, they all looked mean.

She hadn't noticed who she sat next to until the boy spoke. "I'm Malfoy. Draco Malfoy." He introduced himself, puffing out his chest proudly.

"Y/n Potter." Y/n introduced, despite knowing he already knew.

"I'm Pansy Parkinson." A girl with short black hair interrupted their conversation. "We're going to be sleeping in the same dorm, do you want to be friends?" She asked. A picture of confidence.

Y/n didn't know what to do but nod. "Yeah."

"Now shove off, Parkinson. We're talking." Draco interrupted the girls.

Y/n looked concerned at Pansy, but she didn't look offended at all. "Don't worry. Dracie and I have been friends since we were kids. He doesn't mean it." She reassured the girl, noticing her surprised look. The nickname made Y/n giggle, recognising the look on Draco's face as disgust.

"We're not friends." Draco joked, stoic face. Pansy hit him on the arm.

Y/n liked them already. She could tell they would be good friends. Plus, they filled the gap she was missing, not having Harry next to her.

Harry managed to get a chance to talk to Y/n after the feast. He quickly wrapped her in his arms, comforting his sister.

"I'm sorry we're not in the same house," Y/n told him, feeling guilty.

Harry shook his head. "It's not your fault. It's that weird hat's."

"It's strange, isn't it?" Y/n giggled, not feeling like crying anymore. "I don't know what so much of this means." She continued, feeling nervous about the whole situation.

"I know." Harry agreed with a nod. "We'll get through it together. I just want to know more about mum and dad, and it's good if we don't have to stay with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon." Y/n nodded to that. They were horrible people. "We should go to our rooms now. It'll be okay." He comforted her.

She gave him another quick hug. "Thanks, Harry." She told him before turning around to walk off.

"Wait, Y/n!" Harry called, she spun back around to face him. "I've heard Malfoy is bad news, be careful." He warned. Y/n nodded, reassuring him she'd be cautious.

She didn't believe it, though, as she skipped off to the common room.

~

It was only a week into classes when Y/n figured out not everyone at Hogwarts was nicer than the Dursley's. Mainly Professor Snape. For no reason, he seemed to hate Harry. They dissected it later in Hagrid's cottage.

"'S 'cause yeh look like yer mum." Hagrid offered as an explanation. That confused the twins and Ron, who came with them. Hagrid sighed, realising he had to explain it. "Snape loved her, way back, but she married yer dad. He couldn' stand yer dad. Anyway, tha''s all history now. Unfortunately, he's one to hold a grudge. Don' let it bother yeh." He told the children.

Harry just sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Okay, I'm used to Dudley, anyway." He figured Hogwarts was a lot better than the Dursley's house.

"What about yeh, Y/n, how's Slytherin? They're not pickin' on yeh?" Hagrid asked, switched his attention to the small girl.

"It's alright. I've made lots of friends." Y/n had actually had a rather good week. She'd befriended Pansy and a girl named Daphne. As well as Draco, with who she was very close. That was just in her house. Somehow, she'd managed to sit next to Hermione in a class, Lavender too, and a girl named Hannah Abbot from Hufflepuff.

"Good." Hagrid nodded. "Yeh best be off now." He told them, taking the last sip of his drink.

The 3 of them nodded, getting up and leaving the cottage.

"You know, we've got our first flying lesson next week?" Ron asked the twins, trying to brighten the mood. He could tell they were both thinking about their parents.

Y/n did know. Draco had talked about it nonstop. He was beyond excited.

Harry nodded as well. "I'm not sure I'm going to be any good." He mentioned, lightly blushing.

"I'm sure you'll both be fine. It is in your blood." Ron told them. Y/n and Harry both looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, confused about what he meant. However, he didn't elaborate.

~

Y/n went to watch Harry's first Quidditch practise, despite him telling her not to. He said it was a waste of time when it was just practice. But she was extremely proud of him. She knew their parents would be proud too.

So she hid in the Slytherin bleaches, hoping Harry wouldn't spot her.

It was slightly chilly, the night wind whipping at her skin. That's when she felt the drape on a coat on her shoulder.

Y/n whipped her head around to see who it was, only to be met with the blonde's features. She definitely had a bit of a crush on him. He was cute and the first boy who had ever paid her attention.

Draco took a seat next to her, giving her a smile. "Hi." He whispered.

"Hi, Dray." It was a nickname she had quickly picked up, noticing how it made him blush. "You don't have to sit out here." She assured him.

"I want to," Draco confirmed.

Y/n knew he was jealous. Draco had done nothing but talk about how much he loved Quidditch. And Harry, who he thought was a blood traitor, had gotten all his success. So it was big that he wanted to sit with her.

They watched in silence before Draco spoke. "Did you know Pansy is dating Blaise?" He asked her.

Y/n shook her head rapidly. "I thought she liked you."

Draco stuck his tongue out in disgust. "No, I hope not. I did have a question though..." He trailed off, cheeks heating pink. He was bouncing his knee up and down nervously.

Y/n had never seen him like that. "What is it?" She asked.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Draco asked hesitantly. Y/n immediately nodded, accepting the offer. She had never felt happier and more relieved.

"Of course, Dray." She agreed immediately his face relaxed. Y/n reached over and laced her fingers in his, not concerned about how sweaty his palms were. "We can't tell Harry though." She suddenly realised, remembering her brother's words. Draco had never been kind to any of the Gryffindor's, despite them being her friends.

Draco nodded. "Okay." He accepted. Y/n was very thankful he agreed to her request.

~

3rd year was the most stressful yet, for Y/n. She and Draco were still secretly dating, much to Blaise and Pansy's surprise. They couldn't believe how long it had lasted. But Y/n and Draco were drawn to each other, as friends and lovers.

Summer break was also difficult for Y/n. Aunt Marge's visit had ruined the twins birthday. On top of that, apparently, a psychotic wizard had escaped. The Dursley's didn't understand what that would mean. But Y/n and Harry saw just what dark magic could do to Ginny Weasly last year. It was devastating and powerful.

Y/n ran away with Harry when he blew up Aunt Marge. Aunt Petunia had started being much meaner to her, the older she got. While Y/n didn't know Lily, she thought it might have been the reason Aunt Petunia started shunning her.

So, she stayed at the leaky cauldron with Harry. It was the first time she felt happy to not have parents, there were no rules.

Y/n was hiding something. All the letter her owl, Edwige, was bringing her. All from Draco. She figured Harry was too tied up in his own life to think anything was odd. He probably assumed it was Hermione.

The whole train ride all Harry, Ron and Hermione wanted to talk about was terrifying Sirius Black who was trying to murder the twins.

The train's sudden stop frightened Y/n. As the compartment grew cold, she thought it was Sirius, there to kill them. When the Dementor's bony fingers slide open the door, her heart raced, almost beating out of her chest.

This was it. She was going to die from a faceless ghost. It started to suck the life out of Harry and she froze, not knowing how to help her brother.

Thankfully, the cloaked figure in the corner sprung up, scaring the spirit away.

Y/n rushed to get to Harry, but he had already fainted. He was dazed and confused when he woke, Lupin, as Y/n had come to known, handing him some chocolate.

Once Lupin had re-explained what happened, to Harry, he left.

The Potter twins connection let Y/n feel the fear Harry was in, despite being the braver.

Y/n was more than happy to get off the train, being able to sit next to her boyfriend. The Gryffindor table couldn't see them, so they were free to subtly hold hands.

It didn't feel the same that year. Draco was much darker and meaner. He was mean to Hermione and Hagrid, two of Y/n's companions. She didn't understand it.

Their relationship issues came to a head on the date of Buckbeaks execution. Draco and Y/n didn't agree on the situation but it got worse as she roamed the castle with Harry, Hermione and Ron.

As soon as Y/n saw Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle hiding behind that rock she knew today was going to be her breaking point. She didn't understand why he couldn't just shut his mouth and not say anything.

"Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic?" said Malfoy. "And he’s supposed to be our teacher!" The look on his face was pure disgust. His eyes flicked up to meet Y/n's, not back down from the remarks he'd made as she stared him down.

It was then she realised it. He cared more about maintaining his arrogant reputation than he did his own girlfriend. The thought broke her heart.

Harry and Ron both marched to him, with Hermione one step ahead. Y/n awkwardly stood there, not knowing how to come between her secret boyfriend and friends.

Hermione got to him first, landing a solid punch to his nose. It was as hard as she could, landing a solid sound.

Draco stumbled back, Crabbe and Goyle rushing to hold him up. He gave Y/n a final look as he ran past her.

Y/n's eyes were already filling with tears. Hermione noticed. "Are you alright?" She asked.

She quickly thought up a lie. "I'm sorry... It's just all of this with Buckbeard is difficult. Can you tell Hagrid I'm really sorry?" She stuttered out, the tears streaming down her cheeks.

They all brought the lie, Harry wrapping her in a hug before they walked off. She stood there and cried for a few minutes, all alone. Like no one in the world cared about her.

It quickly turned to anger, her blood boiling. She stormed off to the Slytherin common room, knowing Draco was too proud to go to the hospital wing.

She found him there, on the couch, Crabbe and Goyle at his side.

"I can't believe Granger," Draco exclaimed, not noticing Y/n. "She's a filthy mudblood I could easily get expelled."

"Tell your father." Goyle prompted. Crabbe and Goyle were the best henchmen, dumb and wanting to cause trouble.

"Goyle, Crabbe, I need to speak to Malfoy," Y/n announced. They didn't understand what she meant. "Alone." They finally understood, scurrying out of the room.

Draco didn't look concerned, his eyes challenging her. "What do you want? Hanging out with your idiot twin, that poor, blood traitor Weaslbee and mudblood Granger." He was just as pissed as Y/n was. Maybe, it was the anger for Granger he was taking out on Y/n.

She couldn't hide it anymore. "We're done." She told him. "I cannot be with you when you hate everyone that loves me."

"Fine." Draco shrugged. "I don't care."

That was the last thing Y/n heard from him as she stormed to her dorm room, a sobbing mess. Pansy quickly wrapped her in a hug, not needing to know what happened.

~

It was the end of term before Y/n even looked in Draco's direction again. She spent all those nights silently sobbing. The slight silver lining was she had gotten much closer to Harry, Hermione and Ron, no longer spending hours with Draco.

He'd trapped her when she was alone in the bleachers, just like he did on their first week.

He didn't place a jacket on her, rather some sunglasses. "Hi." He murmured, hesitantly sitting next to her. Draco was sure Y/n hated him.

"Hey." She replied. The truth was, she missed him. Draco was a part of her, they had grown up in love. They were never meant to fall out of it.

"Enjoying your last day?" Draco asked awkwardly. They felt like they were back in their first year, acting self-consciously.

She nodded, not interested in his small talk. "Yeah, I'm all packed as well." She still refused to look at him.

"I'm sorry." It came tumbling out like he didn't know how to say it. That made her turn her attention to him.

Y/n couldn't help but love him. She never wanted to break up, ever. "Me too." She replied.

Y/n wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in for a hug. He just looked so precious.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Draco asked, the question was phrased differently this time but it still reminded her of the shy first year.

"Yes." Y/n agreed. She had never known heartbreak like being without Draco.

"Also... I want it to be real this time." That made Y/n worry. She didn't want Harry to find out yet. There was no one Harry hated more. "Will you stay with us these holidays? And come to the Quidditch World Cup?" He asked shyly. That was the bashful boy she adored.

So far, Y/n's plans were to go to the Durley's. She'd just lie to them and say she was staying with Pansy. They wouldn't care because they didn't love her.

'Yes." Y/n told him. "I'm terrified to meet your parents." She admitted.

Draco took her hand in his. "Love, you have nothing to worry about." He assured her. In truth, he also had doubts about his father. Y/n was a Potter.

Once they left the bleachers, Y/n went to see Harry. The trio was in the courtyard.

"Oh Y/n, we were looking for you." Ron pipped up as she took a seat next to them. She tried to not blush too much. "Do you want to come to the Quidditch World Cup with us?" He asked. Uh oh.

"I'm really sorry. I told Pansy I'd go with her family." Y/n lied once again. She felt terrible doing it but she had to. Plus, they weren't going to find out.

"That's fine. Are staying with her the whole summer?" Harry asked. Y/n hated to have to nod. She knew they were keeping a brave face on but they were disappointed.

~

Y/n's lie worked. She made it to out of the station with Draco without anyone seeing.

They got in the car and, from there, they travelled to the manor. It was fabulous. Better than she could ever imagine. Pointed towers and perfectly done gardens, she was in another world.

"Hey, it'll be okay," Draco assured her, taking his hand in hers as they made it to the door. She had already met their house-elf, who carried the bags.

Draco knocked on the door, trying to seem brave. Narcissa swung it open, arms wide open to pull Draco in. Y/n admired how close they were. She had seen Narcissa once before when she came to see Draco. They weren't introduced but Y/n admired how elegant she looked.

"Y/n Potter, right?" Narcissa asked once she had let her boy go.

"Yes, Mrs Malfoy. It's a pleasure to meet you." Y/n politely said.

Narcissa giggled, shaking her head. "Don't be silly, you can call me Narcissa." She said before opening her arms up for the girl. She hugged for just as long as she hugged Draco, making Y/n feel very comfortable.

Lucius walked over, making Y/n's heart race.

"Draco." He greeted his son with a handshake, much less warm than his mother.

Then he turned to Y/n, staring down his nose at her. She had never felt as small. "You must be Y/n Potter?" He held out his hand.

"Yes, sir," Y/n replied, shaking his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Lucius just scowled. Narcissa interrupted the tension. "Come, kids, we can talk in the living room." Just like that, she was part of the family.

~

The Malfoy tent at the Quidditch world cup was impressive. It was grand and dark like the manor.

Her summer with Draco was the best of her life, not that the others were much to compare to. Narcissa was the kindest woman she'd ever know. When she realised Y/n's birthday was the 31st of July, she insisted on throwing a large party.

She let Y/n pick out all the decorations, taking her on a shopping spree to Diagon Alley. Then, they had a spa day and afternoon tea party with Pansy and Daphne and some of Narcissa's friends. As much as she wanted to, Y/n figured it wasn't right to invite Hermione and Ginny.

That night, they had dinner out with the girls, Draco, Theo and Blaise. It was the best day of her life. It only got better when a massive cake was wheeled out, and a cart for of gifts. She was sure it was more than Dudley had ever gotten.

Draco's was the most special. It was a necklace, a traditional Black family one. On it was their initials.

Y/n made sure to stay in contact with Harry, but things had started to slip. She figured he was just busy but she missed him, and their other friends.

It was difficult for Y/n to get along with Lucius, knowing how close he was to Voldemort, the man who was trying to kill her. Somehow, they just didn't talk about it.

"Are you ready to go?" Draco asked, adjusting his black blazer. She couldn't believe how good he looked, a full black suit. His blonde hair parted in the middle. He had grown into his looks majorly over the summer.

"Yeah." Y/n nodded, putting her last earing in. They were a gift from Narcissa, real emeralds. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach she was trying to shake off as anticipation.

"Okay, Mum has already gone to our box. We're going in with my Father." He told her, walking over to grab her hand. Physical contact was something the couple had gotten used to. It was no longer awkward.

Y/n took his hand, lacing their fingers as they walked out of the tent. Draco was taller than her now, he hadn't been in first year. His slim thumb traced over her knuckles mindlessly.

Lucius didn't seem to mind the two of them being so close. The sky had darkened, and the crowds were already cheering. While Y/n had never been to a muggle sports game, she thought this was better. It was noisy but spectacular.

Draco and Y/n talked as they walked, him occasionally bumping into her shoulder. It always made her giggle.

When she heard Lucius' cruel voice, she looked back at him. He was looking up. Y/n followed his eye line. The Weasley's. Hermione. Harry.

Her brain stopped working, and she froze. The look on Harry's face was pure fury. He was looking between her and Draco rapidly, but it was obvious. They were holding hands, and they had just been giggling together.

Those smiles were long gone. The atmosphere had immediately blackened.

Lucius' threat to Harry made her wince. Harry didn't even look bothered, just furious at her. Betrayed. It physically hurt her, and she gripped Draco's hand.

The Weasley group turned to walk off so did Lucius. Draco pulled Y/n closer to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Hey, don't worry. It'll be okay. Harry will calm down." Draco told her. She just hoped it was true. Harry didn't like to be deceived, and she had lied so much. Plus, Draco was never nice to Harry, Hermione and Ron. They probably hated her by association. "My father really shouldn't have said that." He grimaced. That's made her confident in her decision. Draco had changed.

Y/n nodded, trying to choke back the tears welling in her eyes. "Yeah, I know."

Draco stopped in the middle of the bridge. He took her face in his hands. "Hey, I love you." He reminded her before leaning down to kiss her. It was soft and filled her back up with warmth, making the chilling look Harry had sent her go away. She just hoped Harry still loved her.

Y/n tried to put Harry in the back of her mind the rest of the break. She did write him a few letters, but he didn't reply.

~

Harry was too busy to talk to Y/n on the first day of school. She hoped Hermione and Ron weren't giving her the cold shoulder, but they did.

So she spent the welcome feast with Pansy and Daphne. And, of course, her boyfriend.

He confronted her on the second day of school.

Y/n was in the courtyard when Draco and Harry had their quarrel. She always knew Draco was short-tempered, but she couldn't believe the things he was saying to Harry about their mother.

Y/n's shock grew when Harry spat back, knocking Narcissa. He didn't know her like she did. Narcissa had been nothing but kind to Y/n. That was when she knew she couldn't let Harry get away with it.

"Harry!" Y/n yelled, his attention flicked to her. His eyes were even more outraged than they were with Draco.

"What do you want, traitor?" Harry demanded, his voice was angry too.

"You can't say those things about Narcissa," Y/n demanded. Now she knew how mad Draco felt. Her jaw was clenched like her fits. "And, I'm not a traitor. I'm a Slytherin, that wasn't my choice."

Harry rolled his eyes and huffed. "You're sickening. Did you not hear what he said about our mother!?" He lectured her. "I don't know how you could be with someone so vile."

"Draco isn't who you think he is." Y/n defended. Draco loved her. He'd never given up on her like Harry had.

"He hates you!" Harry spat. He was closer to her now, towering over her. She had never seen anyone that mad. "You're not a Potter. You don't belong in our family." He said so lowly it made her shiver.

Harry was so close she thought he was going to hit her. That's when Draco jumped in the middle of the twins, pushing Harry back and shielding Y/n.

"Watch it, Potter." Draco threatened, glaring down at Harry. He was only an inch taller.

Harry scoffed, fists clench, ready for a fight. He looked around Draco, at Y/n. "Mum and Dad would have despised you. You're just like all those other awful Slytherins. I don't understand how you could be with someone as low as Malfoy." His words sat deep in her heart, and he didn't stop them from coming. "You're not a Potter." With that, he left, not looking back.

Y/n immediately burst out in tears. She couldn't stop it. Draco spun around to her, holding her so she wouldn't collapse.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay." Draco told her, wrapping her in his arms so tightly. He just held her. "You know they would be proud of you, Y/n. You're so strong and clever." He comforted her, his hands stroking her back.

Y/n shook her head. "No, I'm a Slytherin. They were all brave Gryffindors." She choked out.

"It doesn't matter what house you're in. You're so kind and talented." Draco reassured her. His heart was breaking, seeing his girlfriend in such a bad state. All he wanted to do was stop her from hurting. "I know how important Harry is to you. We can take a break until this all blows over." He reassured her.

Y/n shook her head, clinging to her chest. "No, no, please, Dray." She said as she cried out. "You're the last good thing I have left."

"Baby." He cooed, tracing her cheekbones. "I'll never leave you." He promised.

~

Draco stayed true to his word. He supported her throughout the whole year. Y/n was always worried for Harry. Despite the shunning, he inflicted on her.

It didn't stop with Harry. Y/n lost half of her friends that day. Hermione, the Weasley's and most muggle-borns refused to talk to her. She was always so kind that it troubled her.

Draco took her to the Yule ball, naturally. She saw Harry that night. They even made eye contact, but he didn't comment on her forest green dress. It matched her eyes perfectly, though, and Harry couldn't stop thinking about one photo of his mother he'd seen. They looked so similar.

She spent the Christmas break at the Malfoy's, receiving a sweater from Molly Weasley. That meant the world to her, despite none of them speaking to her.

When they got back to Hogwarts, Y/n figured out how irrelevant she was to Harry. Ron was the one that was taken for the second task. Everyone noticed. Not his own twin, his friend.

Y/n still remained close with Sirius. They wrote letters to each other throughout the year. He knew how worried she was about Harry.

The truth was, Sirius felt bad, James and Lily were his best friends and he knew they'd be disappointed to see the twins split up. Sirius was also worried for Y/n, he knew what it was like being part of the Black family.

He had hatched a few plans to get them to talk, but none worked. Not due to Y/n's lack of trying.

The third task was the worst thing Y/n had been through at Hogwarts. She could feel something bad was happening to Harry. When he came back through the portkey, she saw it. And it was distressing.

Voldermort was reborn, whether everyone believed it or not. Y/n could feel it was true.

~

5th year was exciting.

Y/n celebrated her 15th birthday before it started. This time, they had dinner with her friends. She didn't write to Harry.

Sirius sent her gifts, and he was starting to ask whether Narcissa was okay.

Just after her birthday, in August, Draco Malfoy and Y/n Potter were made prefects. They both read the letters at the breakfast table.

Narcissa was overjoyed for both of them.

At 11am, on the 1st of September, they got on the train to Hogwarts.

The rest of that year went on normally, apart from Umbridge's rules.

Christmas break was a sign that a darker power was brewing. Y/n heard the whispers under the door and she assumed the other side of the war also had meetings.

Y/n was shocked when Death Eaters escaped from Azkaban. After the Umbridge drama died down, they had to sit their O.W.L.s. That was rough.

One terrible day of June was Sirius' last. Y/n cried in Draco's arms for days over the death. She always thought Sirius was the only person who was going to be able to reunite the twins. And now he was gone.

~

Y/n knew something was very wrong during the summer. Draco told her he was a death eater. They cried about it together all night. The weeks following were stressful, and they weren't even back at Hogwarts. The war had started.

Draco and Narcissa kept Y/n hidden from Lucius' guests. O.W.L results were the first good thing that summer.

Y/n's 16th birthday was smaller than her last. Y/n, Draco, Pansy, Blaise and Theo were all hyperaware of the dementor attacks.

That weekend, they visited Diagon Alley with Narcissa. Y/n was at Draco's side the whole time, unfortunately, that meant she had a run-in with Harry and the Weasleys. It was awkward, to say the least. Her own twin still wouldn't acknowledge her.

Draco's task started at the beginning of the year. Y/n was the only one who knew about it, besides Snape.

Then Christmas, with even more death eater meetings. Y/n barely saw Draco. Narcissa had made her promise to take care of him, but it was difficult to get him to eat.

Draco continued his task during the second semester. Y/n knew that Harry knew about Draco. Their twin insight gave him the power to just know things.

It was getting difficult between Y/n and Draco. They didn't talk as honestly as they used to. He wanted to protect her. And she knew he needed to open up.

One day in May, Y/n rushed to see Draco in the hospital wing, concerned about how he could have gotten there. Did something go wrong with the vanishing cabinet?

"Draco!" She cried as she saw him lying on a hospital bed looking pale.

Draco waved at her, a little smile on his face.

"Potter." Snape hissed, looking down at the girl. Y/n didn't care he was there as she wrapped her arms around Draco. Snape was nicer to Y/n this year, which she didn't understand.

From a photo Sirius had given her, she knew she looked more like Lily than ever. She always kept the picture near her. It was the Potter parents holding up their twins, smiling.

"He's fine," Snape told her. "As for your brother, he's going to be in huge trouble." He continued before walking out of the hospital wing.

"What happened?" Y/n demanded, holding Draco's face in her hands. His cheekbones were more prominent now, and his eyes were more overcast.

Draco playfully huffed. "I was, uh, in the bathroom. Potter came in and used the bloody Sectumsempra spell on me." He complained, his eyes now angrier. She couldn't believe Harry would do something like that. But, then again, she didn't really know him.

Y/n noticed the way his voice faded when he talked about where he was. "Why were you in the bathroom?" She knew him well enough to push for an answer."

"Uh, talking." Draco offered an explanation. It wasn't good enough for Y/n to accept.

"To who?" She asked.

Draco groaned, rolling his eyes. He finally gave in. "Fine, I was crying to Moaning Myrtle." He admitted. His cheeks were pink with blush and he looked guilty.

"Dray." Y/n cooed, reaching down to hold his hand. "You can talk to me about anything you need to, any time." She assured him.

Draco nodded, thankfully. "He's going to get detention for the rest of the year." He told her, a self-satisfied smirk on his lips.

Narcissa was one of the last people Y/n expected to see walk into the Hospital Wing. She was in a black pantsuit.

"Mother." Draco greeted her, trying to move in the bed to get up.

"Stay put, you," Narcissa told him with a smile. She walked right over and hugged Y/n. "Are you okay?" She asked. Y/n just nodded. She knew a storm was brewing, but nothing had happened yet. It was only a matter of time. Then she turned to Draco. "Are you?" She asked him.

Draco already had a witty reply, clearly feeling like himself again. "Aside from my own mother preferring my girlfriend to me." He complained, a faux pout on his face.

Narcissa just rolled her eyes, like mother like son. "I can't help it. You get into too much trouble." She told him with a pointed look.

Draco scoffed. "Wasn't my fault." He complained quietly. The girls just gave him a look he knew too well. "Honestly, what are you doing here?" He asked. When Narcissa widened her eyes, he followed the question up with a statement. "Not that I'm not pleased to see you."

"I've actually come for Y/n." She explained.

Both Y/n and Draco looked at her in shock. "What? Why?" Y/n asked, most concerned.

Narcissa looked to Draco who sighed out an 'oh' and then back to Y/n before speaking. "You know about the cabinet." Y/n nodded. "They need it. The Death Eaters. To get into Hogwarts." That made Y/n worry. They weren't coming in to have dinner.

"You don't know this." Draco started, making Y/n's attention turn to him. "My task is to kill Dumbledore." Y/n's mouth gawked open. She could feel her hands shaking. More than anything, she couldn't believe someone would make a kid do that.

Narcissa grimaced. "It's all about to start." Y/n didn't need to ask what 'it' was. "So I'm taking Y/n away." She told them.

"Wait... for how long?" Draco asked quickly, gripping her hand.

"Draco, you sit in those meetings," Narcissa told him. "You know the plan is for them to take over the Ministry of Magic and persecute muggle-borns." That made Y/n wince. "It's not safe for Y/n to stay at Hogwarts, don't be silly about this." She strictly told him.

Draco sighed but nodded. He knew Narcissa was always right. "Can I still see her?" He asked, now thinking rationally. Y/n didn't like that she didn't have any say in the matter.

"Yes." At least there was that. "No one is going to know where she is apart from Lucius, you and I," Narcissa told them.

"Do I get any say in this?" Y/n finally spat out.

Narcissa turned her attention to Y/n with a pleading look. "You know we have to."

"I've still got a month of school left," Y/n argued.

"I know and I'm sorry we have to do this." Narcissa apologised. "It's all going to happen next month."

"Can't I stay until then?" Y/n asked.

Narcissa shook her head. "I promise you, if I thought you could, I would let you. You're a big part of what you-know-who wants, Harry more, but you must stay far away from this." She told her.

Y/n couldn't not agree. "Alright. We're leaving now?" She asked.

"Yes," Narcissa told her. "All of your things have been packed. Draco can come and see you once it's over." She promised.

Draco wrapped his arms around Y/n as he kissed her. It was one of the things she knew she was going to miss. She also knew it was time to go.

"Bye, I love you," Draco told her, waving from his hospital bed.

"I love you too," Y/n replied before walking out of the wing with Narcissa.

From there, they went out a secret passage, making sure no one saw. Professor Snape knew Y/n had to go, so he was coming up with the cover story.

Narcissa and Y/n finally reached a Slytherin scarf, which took them to a house she'd never been to. "Where are we?" Y/n asked, still holding on to the portkey.

"The South of England," Narcissa told her, making her brows furrow and eyes widen. "It's an old Black family house." She explained, opening the door. It was just as grand as the Manor, smaller, though.

Inside it looked just as gorgeous. All the decor was French country vintage. It screamed old money.

"It's beautiful," Y/n told Narcissa, having a look around the inside. There was so much light streaming into the room with wooden details.

"I'll make some tea. Your room is on the second floor, first door." Narcissa told her. Y/n nodded, walking up the stairs to find the room. It was decorated like royalty belonged there. There was a massive window that looked right out onto the coast.

It was then she realised the house was on a cliff. Y/n hadn't seen it from the angle the entryway was at. But it was spectacular. Lonely.

Y/n could spend her whole life there. She set her bags down and strolled around the room. It was smaller than Draco's was, at the manor. But it was much lighter. Almost the complete opposite of the Malfoy family home.

Once she had finished looking around, she went back downstairs to see Narcissa setting tea up on the coffee table. When she walked into the living room she saw the massive windows, showing the ocean.

"Sit," Narcissa commanded and Y/n did so right away. She poured tea for both of them before also sitting down. They sat in silence for a while, Y/n not knowing what to say. "I can tell you have questions." Narcissa prompted.

"Why is Snape protecting Draco and I?" Y/n asked quickly.

Narcissa sighed before answering. "Do you know what an Unbreakable Vow is?" She asked, and Y/n nodded. "Severus and I made one. He vowed to watch over Draco." Y/n nodded again. That vow must have expended to Y/n.

Y/n suddenly had more questions. "You need a Bonder, right?"

"Yes, Bellatrix was ours," Narcissa replied. Y/n was familiar with Draco's strange aunt. They had never met, out of Bellatrix's loyalty to Voldermort.

"Are you going to stay here with me?" She asked, concerned about being alone.

Narcissa shook her head. "I'm sorry. I can only be here sometimes. The story is you ran away, and no one knows where you are, so I can't be here too much." Y/n didn't know that before. Everyone was going to think she'd left by choice. Pansy, Daphne, Blaise, Theo. Harry, if he cared. She knew none of them were going to be able to know why she was gone.

"Am I safe here?" Y/n asked, now worrying about how she would be safe alone. The tea they were sipping seemed to calm her down.

"Yes, there are charms on the house so no one can get in. But, I'm also giving you this." Narcissa stopped what she was saying and pulled out a necklace. It was a heart-shaped gold locket. Narcissa placed it in her hand. Y/n looked at it. That's when she noticed the initials on it. Draco's and hers.

Y/n thanked her. "That's not it. If you open it like this." Narcissa instructed, opening the heart. Y/n noticed the emerald gemstone. "This stone is a portkey, right to the Manor." So Y/n would be able to get back to the Manor.

"I can't thank you enough, and I don't want to intrude, but I do have a personal question." Y/n was hesitant about what she was going to ask. But she needed to know. "You said before, in the hospital wing, that Mr Malfoy knew where I was staying. And I have a lot of respect for him, so I don't want this to come off badly." Y/n could tell she was rambling. Narcissa could as well, she slid a hand onto Y/n's to calm her down. "Why is it safe for him to know? He's you-know-who's number 2. Eventually, he's going to want me dead." It broke Y/n's heart, she knew it was going to ruin Draco's life. But, his father was going to have to kill her.

"Slow down." Narcissa smiled softly. That comforted Y/n a little. "Do you remember when we met, the summer before the World Cup?" She asked. Y/n nodded in agreement, not sure where it was going. "The night we met you, I knew. I knew Draco was in love with you. And, I knew Voldermort was going to come back and try to kill the Potter twins." Y/n's heart started to race at the mention of her parents' death. "I made Lucius make an unbreakable vow. Snape was the Bonder." Oh, it made sense. Lucius couldn't hurt Y/n, Narcissa had protected her.

She just didn't understand why so she asked. "Why? I mean, I appreciate it more than anything. But you risked your whole marriage." It was true, and Narcissa knew that.

"I've never thought you or Harry should be persecuted. My parents raised me as pureblood supremacists, but killing is wrong." Narcissa told her. Y/n was thankful for her honesty. She filled the place Lily had left, and Petunia hadn't tried to fill. "I love Draco, more than anything in the world. The only thing I've ever wanted is to see him happy. I knew he was happy with you." Y/n understood Narcissa's unconditional love for Draco, she felt the same.

"He's lucky to have you," Y/n mentioned, trying not to think about her parents.

"I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I'm very sorry about your parents," Narcissa told her. Y/n could feel the tears in her eyes.

She let a few of them fall. "Did you, uh, know them?"

"My last two years at Hogwarts, they were there. James was only 11 but he was loud and brave. He would even stand up to me with Sirius." Hearing both their names made Y/n cry more. She was crying for the dad she never knew, and the uncle she only had for a short time. "I noticed you at Hogwarts, I think during second year, and I had deja vu. You looked so similar to Lily. She always wore her hair just like you did." Y/n remembered seeing Narcissa but she didn't remember Narcissa seeing her.

"Would they be disappointed in me?" Y/n couldn't help but ask. Narcissa felt her pain, running deep. She immediately wrapped the girl in a hug, letting her cry.

"No, never for a moment." She confirmed. "I know it's not the same, but I'm proud of you." It wasn't the same, but it meant just as much.

"Thank you." Y/n thanked her again.

"No thanks are necessary. I should go back though." Narcissa stated, looking at her watch.

Y/n nodded, gently opening the necklace so she wouldn't touch the emerald. Narcissa held it, and just like that, she was gone.

Y/n found a good amount of things to do. There were movies and music. She still had some of her textbooks. Plus, exploring the house was fun.

But she did miss Draco. And the rest of her friends. Instead of using an owl, she decided to send letters by muggle post to the Malfoy residence, so Narcissa could send them to Hogwarts.

~

There was a knock on the door a couple of weeks after Y/n moved in.

She peaked out the window before seeing a tuff of blonde hair. It was Draco.

Quickly, she swung the door open, embarrassing him in her arms.

Draco hugged her back, lifting her off the ground and twirling her around.

"Dray, I missed you." She cooed, head buried in his shoulder.

"I missed you too, my girl." He replied, pulling her even closer. It was so tight she felt like she couldn't breathe.

When she pulled back, she had a thought. "How did you manage to come? Don't you have classes?"

Draco shook his head. "Quidditch match. It's Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw, so I came here instead." Y/n was very grateful for Quidditch that day.

They only had a few hours before people would notice he was gone. But they baked cookies together while Draco filled her in on everything she'd missed. As well as lots of kissing.

When it came time for him to leave, she was upset. But Draco made her promise not to cry.

~

Draco came back after the battle of the tower. Y/n knew there was something wrong. He didn't grin as wide when he met her at the beach.

There were already tears forming in his eyes, and it was late.

"Dray, talk to me, baby." Y/n pleaded as they lay together on the couch. It was far past midnight. Y/n was on Draco's chest and they were a tangle of limbs. She had her fingers running through his hair.

Draco sighed. "I couldn't do it." He sobbed out. "I couldn't kill him. Snape had to do it. It was so horrible, Y/n." He continued, tears still falling. "My father was so mad. He cares more about appeasing Voldermort than me." Y/n's heart clenched as she heard his words.

"Draco, he loves you." Y/n tried to reassure him.

Draco tried to accept it, but it was difficult. "I'm scared for what's going to happen." He told her.

"Me too," Y/n admitted. "How's it all going to end?" She asked him.

The truth was Draco didn't know. And she knew that. "They're talking over the Manor." He didn't want to be the one telling her the bad news. "They're going to go after anyone and everyone associated with Muggleborns. I'm not going to get to be here much." He hesitantly admitted.

"You've done what they needed you to do, though!" Y/n exclaimed, feeling outraged.

"I know. I'm not sure what they're going to do with me. Father lectured me and I just came here." Draco explained. It reassured her there might be some hope he could spend the summer there. "It'll be okay, Y/n."

She tried to retain that. "Can you come back on my birthday, at least?" Y/n asked.

"Of course, baby." Draco quickly replied. That brought Y/n some relief.

~

Draco was busy a lot of the summer. Despite having completed the task he was given, he was still Lucius's son.

He told Y/n all about how the Manor had been taken over by death eaters. It worried her. She also spent a lot of time worried about Harry. He was the only blood connection she had left in the world, and she had no idea where he was.

Draco came back on her birthday like he promised. He had more flowers than she'd ever seen in her life. That wasn't where the gifts ended. Jewellery, new shoes, perfume and a big cake.

Narcissa made it as well for dinner. She even insisted Draco stay the night.

By nighttime, they were lying in bed together. Draco's arms wrapped around her tightly. As usual, she lay against his chest. Draco stroking her hair.

When she looked up at him, she knew something was wrong. After all their years together, she could read him like a book. "What is it?"

"What do you mean?" He asked. His voice was a slightly higher pitch. Y/n recognised that as a sign he was hiding something.

"I can tell something bothering you," Y/n explained. "Let me in, Dray." She pleaded.

Draco knew he had to. "I have to leave early tomorrow morning."

Y/n knew that wasn't it. "I need the whole truth." Draco groaned, knowing she knew him better than he knew himself.

"I have to go early so I can be at the takeover of the ministry," Draco revealed to her. "They're going after Scrimgeour because he knows where Harry is." Oh. That wasn't good. Either the minister would give up Harry's location, and her twin brother would be killed. Or, the Ministry of Magic would be run by Death Eaters. Either way, their power was growing. Y/n knew Harry only had a matter of time. Then she would be next.

"So, no one knows where Harry is?" Y/n asked hopefully. Even if he hated her, she would rather he was alive.

Draco shook his head. "He's hunting the Horcruxes, I'd guess. Scrimgeour knows and maybe a few members of the Ministry." That made Y/n relieved, although she wasn't sure how good Harry's survival skills were.

"Am I going to be okay?" Y/n asked, fearing the worst.

Draco took a deep breath as he prepared an answer. "I'm never going to let him get to you, I promise. My Father's vow will make sure he can't either. No one else knows you're here." He reassured her. Y/n just hoped it was true, Draco could read that.

"So you're going back to Hogwarts?" Y/n couldn't help but ask.

Draco nodded. "I think Snape is going to be appointed Headmaster. I'll be safe there." That reassured Y/n to no end. He chuckled slightly, a smile on his face. "We were going to be Head boy and girl." He explained. Y/n's face dropped as she tried not to cry. "Hey, hey, hey." Draco noticed. "It's just the way it happened."

"I know." She nodded. "It just could have been the best year ever."

"When this is all over, we're going to have the best year." He assured her. Y/n tried to hang onto that.

It got difficult the further the year dragged on. Y/n barely saw Draco. She did receive letters about how horrible things had gotten. Hogwarts was gloomier, no one could find Harry, Snape's regime was intense. Y/n was thankful she was away from the whole mess.

Just before Christmas, she found out Luna Lovegood had been kidnapped. Draco had started to detest the cause he was fighting for. He never said so, but she could infer it from what he wrote.

In March, she discovered Harry had been captured. Draco was the one who had to identify him, and he felt horrible about it. He cried on her shoulder, begging her to forgive him when he came to see her. Y/n was never mad at Draco. She was smart enough to know he had to do it. And, deep down, she could feel that Harry was okay.

Draco was in a worse state when they escaped. Not because he wanted Harry to be killed. Because his own aunt had murdered Dobby. While he was taught to hate the house-elves, Dobby was almost his younger sibling.

All Draco could feel was split, unsure of what to do.

Draco told her it was all going to happen on May 1st. The battle of Hogwarts. Y/n spent the whole day riddled with anxiety. She spent a whole 3 days wide awake, waiting for news.

She felt a cursing pain through her head at some point on the 2nd of May. Then the visions started, of Harry and Dumbledore at a train station. She realised she was seeing inside Harry's vision. When he made the choice to return to his body, Y/n knew everything would be alright.

Y/n anxious sat on the couch until 3 people appeared. It was only the early hours of the morning. She immediately ran to Draco wrapping her arms around him. He was unkempt, and his hair was a mess. He hugged her back, pulling her into his chest. She had never seen him looking as disturbed.

"What happened?" Y/n asked, turning to give Narcissa a hug. Much to her surprise, Lucius shook her hand. It was the first time they'd ever done something like that.

"We left," Lucius told her. That was also the first time he'd ever properly talked to her. She didn't understand.

They explained it all to her. How Harry sacrificed himself, how he died, more importantly how Narcissa discovered he was alive. Y/n hung on every word as Narcissa told her how she had lied to Voldermort. She also told Y/n Harry asked if she was still alive. Harry still cared about her.

By that point Draco, Narcissa and Y/n were all crying.

The sun had just started rising when Y/n realised it.

Suddenly, she had a massive headache. The kind she knew Harry used to have. And she knew what it meant.

"Voldermort's dead," Y/n announced, causing all of their eyes to widen. "I just know. I can feel it. Harry killed him." She felt more connected to Harry than she had in years, but she knew.

There were no words any of them said as they hugged. She could feel her head beating rapidly, the same as Draco's.

"Who died?" Y/n finally asked the question she was terrified to ask. Harry was the only one she knew was alive from the good side.

"Bellatrix." Narcissa sobbed out, Lucius immediately pulling her into a hug. It was one of the first times Y/n had seen them acting so intimately.

Draco continued giving Y/n the list. Every second felt like an hour as she hoped none of her friends died. "Fred Weasley." She could only think about the heartbreak that would have caused her brother and his friends. "Snape too." Draco let a few tears fall and Y/n rushed to wipe them. "Lupin and Tonks." Lupin was the last person alive who really knew her parents. Now her chances of knowing about them were over. "There were a lot of others too but everyone else we are close to is okay."

"Good." Y/n nodded before wrapping him in a hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Both couples holding each other, all feeling extremely grateful.

"We should go back home," Narcissa told them, glancing at the clock on the wall. "We'll have breakfast." She promised.

Draco enthusiastically nodded. "I'm starving." He mentioned.

Narcissa reached out to grab his hand. "You haven't eaten in days."

Y/n quickly turned her attention to Draco. "Dray." She told him, hitting his arm. "You can't do that."

"I won't, ever again." He promised, his hand wrapping around her waist. "As long as you're there to cook for me." He cheekily quipped, looking at Y/n with a grin. It was the first one she had seen in a while.

Narcissa and Lucius both laughed at the younger couple who reminded them of themselves. "You're dreaming," Y/n replied, bumping into his shoulder. Y/n opened her necklace.

Narcissa, Draco, Lucius and Y/n all touched the emerald. Just like that, they arrived in the Manor living room. It was like Y/n remembered, still as dark. She did feel better about being there, knowing no death eaters were trying to kill her brother.

Over pancakes, they laughed and talked. The world finally felt peaceful again. It was the first time Y/n had been happy in weeks.

An owl knocked at the window, around midday and Y/n took the two letters out of its mouth.

"Dray." She told him, handing his one over to him. "It's from Hogwarts." She told Narcissa and Lucius. They both opened their letters and read them. "In June, they're having an end of year feast," Y/n explained.

"So, we've got a month off school?" Draco looked thrilled by the news.

Narcissa chuckled. "What does it say about your exams?" She asked.

Draco read further down. "Mine says my grades from last year will be considered my grades for this year and I can become an Aurora. Or I can go back to Hogwarts." There was hopefulness in his voice Y/n had missed.

"Draco!" Narcissa cheered, jumping up to hug him. "Congratulations."

"Mine says the same." Y/n realised. "But how is that possible?" She asked, looking at Narcissa.

"I'm not sure." The woman replied, looking just as confused.

"I may have a few words with the acting Ministry when Voldermort was in charge," Lucius reported. All 3 of them were shocked by the confession.

Y/n was overcome with appreciation. "Thank you, sir."

"Please, Lucius is fine." That surprised Y/n but it was nice to hear he might not have hated her as much as she thought. It was the first time Y/n had seen a smile on his face. "What are you two planning on doing with your time off?" He asked the younger couple.

Draco and Y/n met each other's eyes, they hadn't thought about it. "What are we meant to do?" Draco asked.

"The house on the cliff is empty, if you want to spend more time there, Y/n," Narcissa mentioned. Draco grinned widely, nodding his head. He accepted the offer. "Slow down, Y/n?" Narcissa asked, turning her attention to Y/n.

"Yes, I'd love to. Thank you." Y/n affirmed her boyfriend's acceptance.

"When can we go?" Draco asked.

Lucius chuckled. "You don't want to spend time with your parents, son?" He joked. Another first. "You're going of age now, Draco. Y/n too. I think you've both earned the privilege of being treated like adults." He told them.

"You have to be back for your birthday, Draco. We're going to throw a party." Narcissa instructed, raising her eyebrows at him.

"So I'm not an adult?" Draco quipped back.

Narcissa turned to Y/n. "Will you make sure he comes back?" Y/n nodded. "Then you are both free to leave after I get a hug." She informed them, opening her arms up. Draco hugged her first, standing much taller than her.

Then he left to get his stuff. Lucius followed him up the stairs. Y/n walked over to Narcissa, embracing her.

"Thank you, for everything." Y/n mentioned in her arms.

"It's never a problem, sweetness," Narcissa replied, kissing the girl on the forehead.

~

Y/n and Draco took a different portkey to the house. Both of them were buzzing to have a month together after being apart for so long. They finally felt free and independent.

For a few weeks, they just hung out, reacquainting with each other. They spent time in London, seeing muggle sights and shopping. As well as the small, nearby muggle town. It had the cutest cafe.

Draco and Y/n also hung out with Pansy, Theo and Blaise again. They were all thrilled to see her. She explained the whole situation to them and they completely understood.

Between them, it was like no time was lost.

One summer evening, Draco had insisted on cooking Y/n dinner. He explained it was a date. She was to dress up nice like they were going out. Draco was in a full black suit, matching Y/n's sparkling black dress.

He even set the outdoor table, making Y/n sit there and wait for him to bring out dinner.

It was a pasta dish. The same one Narcissa had made the first time Y/n met the Malfoy family.

"Thank you, Dray," Y/n said as they sat, looking out at the view. The sun was just setting and the whole sky was painted pinks and oranges. In the distance, there was the sound of waves breaking on the cliff.

Draco looked nervous, she hadn't seen him like that for a long time. "Uh, I had a question for you." He stuttered out, cheeks turning pink.

Y/n sent him a soft smile, trying to help him calm down. His nerves were worrying her. What could he possibly ask her? Y/n knew exactly what was about to happen when Draco slid off his chair and down onto one knee. Her hands immediately came over her mouth. Tears were already pricking her eyes. He reached into his back pocket, producing a green velvet box.

"I've, uh, I've thought about doing this for a really long time. When we first met I knew you were the one who was always going to hold a special part of my heart. It was everything about you. I never believed in love at first sight until I met you." Y/n was full-on sobbing at Draco's words. They were the sweetest thing anyone had ever said. "I knew from when I met you that I'd always love you. But I had no idea you'd bear to be around me for long enough. I was kind of insufferable." Y/n and Draco both chuckled. "I'm so grateful I even got the chance to know someone as clever, kind, funny and ambitious as you. Once I'd asked you out, I knew I needed you to be mine forever." Draco let a few tears out, stopping to wipe them. "I've done a lot of stupid things, hurt a lot of people and you're far too good for me, I know that. But, I swear, I'm going to spend every day making it up however I can. I'm going to spend every day making it up to you too. If you let me. I think I knew you before I understood myself. You truly are my best friend and the most important person to me in the world." Neither of them could stop the uncontrollable tears they let out. "So, uh, I've got to ask now. Y/n Potter, will you do me the honours of marrying me?" Draco opened the ring box, revealing a huge diamond ring. It looked vintage and the prettiest thing Y/n had ever seen.

Y/n wiped a few stray tears off her cheeks, leaning down to do that same to Draco. "Yes, Draco. A million times yes." He was grinning as wide as she'd ever seen as he slipped the ring on her finger.

He stood up, holding her face in his hands. "I love you." He told her, leaning down to kiss her gently.

"I love you too," Y/n replied, eyes closed with her forehead intimately pressed against Draco's. When she moved her eyes she looked down at the ring. "It's so beautiful, Dray."

Draco nodded before explaining the story. "It's, um, a Black family heirloom. If Mum, Aunt Bella or Aunt Andromeda were boys, they would have gotten it. Luckily for me, it skipped a generation."

"It's stunning." Y/n leant back up to place a kiss on his lips. "Now, what have you cooked for dessert?" She asked, giggling lightly.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Your favourite, of course, but only because you said yes." He revelled.

~

Y/n woke Draco up on his birthday with an assortment of gifts. After they ate breakfast and unwrapped presents, they went to the Manor.

Y/n knocked on the door happily. Draco's left hand entwined with her right one. Narcissa swung it open and embarrassed Y/n in an enthusiastic hug. She quickly grabbed Y/n's left hand, looking at the ring.

"I knew it would look perfect on you," Narcissa mentioned, tracing over the ring. Y/n grinned at her.

"It is perfect," Y/n said, grinning at Draco.

"You're perfect." Draco simply replied. Narcissa chuckled at the two of them. "Can I have my hug?" He asked Narcissa.

Narcissa dropped Y/n's hand hesitantly to pull him in. "18 but you're still acting like a petulant child." She joked making Draco pull a face of mock offence. "Happy birthday, Draco."

"Are you keeping them in here, Sissy?" Lucius asked, walking around the corner. Narcissa rolled her eyes at him. "Happy birthday, son." He said, wrapping Draco in a hug. "Y/n." Lucius turned to her.

"Mr Malfoy." Y/n greeted. She thought she was in trouble when he raised his eyebrows and shot her a pointed look. The smile on his lips assured her she wasn't about to be told off. "Lucius." She corrected herself.

Y/n held out a hand to shake his but he shook his head, opening his arms. "You're my future daughter-in-law, come here." He insisted, and Y/n hugged him, trying to avoid showing her shock.

After they had lunch and Draco opened more presents, Pansy, Daphne, Theo, Blaise, other friends and several Malfoy and Black family members came over. It was a phenomenal party.

Pansy raced right over to Y/n, flinging her arms around the girl.

"Hi Pansy, it's actually my birthday." Draco sarcastically greeted her.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Happy birthday, you big baby." She said, giving him a hug too. "I'm sorry I missed my best friend." Draco faked offence.

Theo, Blaise and Daphne all came to hug the couple as well. Neither Y/n nor Draco had realised they didn't know about the engagement.

They all quickly got flutes of champagne, raising them to toast each Draco.

That's when Pansy saw it. "Oh, Merlin. Is that an engagement ring!?" Pansy shouted, grabbing Y/n's left hand.

Both Y/n and Draco awkwardly laughed. "Yes," Y/n confirmed as Pansy admired the ring, showing Y/n's hand to Daphne and the boys.

"That's not just any ring. That's a Black Family ring." Blaise noticed.

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. "How did you know that?" She asked, looking back at Draco.

He was blushing pink. "Loverboy, here, has been talking about giving it to you since 1st year," Theo informed Y/n. "He wouldn't shut up about it most nights." Her eyes widened as she looked at a red-faced Draco.

"You never told me that," Y/n mentioned, nudging his chest. Draco groaned, wrapping his arm around Y/n's waist.

"Because it's really embarrassing." Draco quietly stated.

Daphne pattered Draco's arm. "Y/n used to talk about you in her sleep." Daphne declared. That made Y/n's cheeks heat. Draco and the rest of the friend group burst out laughing.

~

It was finally the day of the final Hogwarts feast. Y/n didn't ever think, at 11 years old, it was going to end like this. In 7 years, she had learnt so much more than most people learnt in their lifetime.

"Pans, Blaise." Y/n opened the door of the Black's seaside house to invite Pansy and Blaise in.

Pansy and Blaise were both dressed in formal clothing as they hugged Y/n. She was wearing a deep green dress that matched Draco's suit's tie.

"You look lovely." Pansy complimented her.

"Pansy, look at you!" Y/n returned the compliment, instructing Pansy to do a spin of her silver dress.

"Are we ready to go?" Draco asked, walking down the stairs. He was in a full black suit aside from his green tie. He bro-hugged Blaise and gave Pansy a hug before wrapping an arm around Y/n's waist.

Y/n nodded. "Let's do it."

Y/n hadn't seen how destructed Hogwarts was, but it now looked just like when she left. She couldn't help but feel sad at the tragedy that had occurred a month ago.

"It's odd being back," Pansy spoke what they were all thinking. Everyone gave her a nod of agreement.

The two couples walked into the great hall, hand in hand. Everyone was surprised to see Y/n. They still had no explanation for why she was gone.

Naturally, Y/n's eyes met her brother. She noticed how faded his lightning-bold scar looked. But she didn't go over to him, she just went to her house table.

McGonagall spoke, about the losses they had faced and how good always won in the end. Her speech was inspiring. Everyone was still distraught about the battle, it was evident on their faces.

They ate, laughing at their tables as the sky fell dark. Y/n had missed being at Hogwarts, it was like home to her. The couple finally made their way through the castle to go home when it was late.

"Y/n!" That was a voice she hadn't expected to hear. She hadn't heard him say her name in years. Harry. His voice was much deeper now.

Y/n stopped in her tracks, quickly turned around to look at him. She still looked like she remembered. "Hi." She greeted him, awkwardly rocking on her feet.

"I'll give you a moment," Draco mentioned, unlacing his hand with Y/n's and walking off.

Now, neither of them knew what to say. They were family but so disconnected.

"How are you?" Harry finally asked.

Y/n softly smiled. "I'm alright. And you?"

"Good." Harry stuttered. Silence fell again. "I'm so sorry." He blurted out. "I never should have said the things I did in 4th year. I was so angry about what Malfoy was saying and I couldn't believe it."

Y/n nodded. "I know, Harry, you don't need to explain it or be sorry."

"No, I do. I shouldn't have refused to talk to you for 3 years. It was childish and hurt you." Harry insisted. It made Y/n feel like the weight was off her shoulders. A weight she had been hauling for years. "I looked for you when I left Hogwarts for a whole year."

That was new information but it warmed Y/n's heart. "Harry, I had no idea." She replied, tears swelling in her eyes. "Narcissa told me you asked about me."

"I felt the worst I had ever felt. I was immature, and mum and dad would have been disappointed." Harry admitted.

Y/n shook her head, finally letting the tears fall at the thought of her parents. "Harry, no, please. They would be so proud of you for everything. I'm so sorry about everything I said as well. I just need to know if you hate me." She begged, looking into his matching eyes.

"I never hated you, not for a minute. I was mad but I was also stupid and prejudice." Harry told her, finally allowing her to relax. Y/n pulled him in for a hug without thinking about it. "I missed you so much." Harry was sobbing too, hot tears on Y/n's back.

"I missed you too. Ron and Hermione and the Weasley's too." Y/n told him, pulling back. "Would you maybe want to hang out sometime. Talk?"

Harry couldn't nod quick enough. "Yes, please. I'd really like that. We've missed a lot of time."

Y/n pulled him back in for another hug. It was like the two puzzle pieces were finally together. The part of her heart that was missing was now filled.

"Is your scar okay?" Y/n asked, running her left forefinger over Harry's forehead.

Harry nodded, glancing up at her finger. He noticed the ring. Harry grabbed Y/n's hand, examining it in front of her. "Oh my." He exclaimed.

"Please don't be mad." Y/n winced, breath shortening.

"No, not at all," Harry told her. "I just want to be a part of your life. Draco's as well." He told her honestly. Y/n had never felt better than she did right then.

"Thank you," Y/n told him. "Are you with Ginny?" She couldn't help but ask.

Harry smiled as he nodded. "Yeah. This ring is phenomenal though." Harry mentioned, smiling as he met Y/n's eyes.

"I know." Y/n agreed a giddy smile on her face.

Today just might have been the best day of her life. She had a twin brother she spoke to and an amazing fiancee. Life was perfect.

[enthusiasticharry]

the one where you and harry are keeping a secret from your brother, who happens to hate harry’s guts. 

author’s note : hello everyone! i'm back with another fic, one that i can't believe i wrote so quickly to say the least. this is part of @harrystylescherry​‘s playlist challenge. i chose drive on by miss charlotte clark because it is an amazing song, and i can only hope that i’ve don't it justice.  

word count : 13.9k of a lot of angst, smut and only a tiny bit of fluff. i really don't know what happened to me. 

please talk to me about drive on here. let me know what you think :) 

But if we parted I'd be half-hearted So I'll leave the light on

As you were getting ready that evening, you knew that you were going to have to try your hardest to not show that you were absolutely dreading what was about to happen. The light sounds of Fleetwood Mac filled your room as you finished making sure that you looked okay. It seemed as though the longer that you looked at yourself in the mirror, the more you started to doubt that you actually looked okay. 

You tilted your head to the side as you looked in the mirror, running your eyes up and down your own body as if to check that you’re at least presentable. Your outfit wasn’t too out of the ordinary, just a pair of black, flared trousers and a white knitted jumper because you knew that it is going to be quite chilly and you are going to be outside for a large portion of the evening and you make sure to pair it with some white trainers, ones that match so you start to feel a little more put together. Even though it certainly wasn’t the most out there outfit, it was okay and you had to keep reminding yourself of that. 

Walking down the stairs, you could hear the mumbling of your brother, Isaac, in the kitchen, along with someone else’s voice that you immediately recognise as Daisy, your best friend. You’re not exactly surprised at their discussion, because whenever they’re alone in a room together you know that it doesn’t usually end up with them discussing sunshine and rainbows. The more you think about it, the more you struggle to determine which one out of the two of them is more stubborn, because they both are just as stubborn as each other. 

“Baby sis!” You try not to roll your eyes at your brother’s greeting, “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” 

“We’re coming with you.” You respond, walking forward so that you can greet your friend with a hug. You knew that it was going to be a long shot of him letting you come with him, but if Daisy was too you knew that he wouldn’t be able to say no, and that’s why you go with her every single time. It’s how you’re cheated the system of having an overprotective brother. 

“I thought you were going to Daisy’s for a sleepover?” He questions, and you nod your head. 

“I am.” You smile, “But after.” 

You walk over to grab yourself a bottle of water out of the fridge because you know that if you look at him in the eyes he’ll be staring at you in a way that you could do without. You know that he’s only saying the things that he is because he’s protective of you, but you also have to keep reminding him that it wasn’t the first time that you had gone out and been to a race with him, and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last. 

Chugging down a bit of the water, Daisy extends her arm out to you and you pass the bottle to her, watching as she takes a sip before passing it back to you so that you can put the cap on. Even though you have been to the races before, that certainly didn’t meant that every time you did go you found yourself being more and more nervous for what you’re going to witness. It’s dangerous, and sometimes you feel a though you’re the only one out of all of them to notice that. 

“Every fucking time.” Isaac shakes his head and you smile. 

“Thank you.” You had an obnoxious grin on your face as you say the words, and you know it. 

“Yeah, well. . .” He shakes his head, “Just come on and let’s get in the fucking car.” 

The first time you went to one of the races, you remember not being able to focus on anything other than the fact that anyone could get really injured, or even die, at any second if they’re not careful. Maybe you were just too overly cautious, and you couldn’t ever find yourself focusing on the thrill and excitement of it all because you were too worried that someone was going to get hurt. It was even worse when the person you were worried about was someone you cared about like you did your brother. 

“One of these days you will take me without putting up a fight.” You say, following him towards his car, “I don’t know when it will be but I can feel it.” 

He looks at you as he opens his door, “That’s never going to happen. For one, I hate that you even come to where the races are held, more so that you stand and watch them.” 

You shrug and climb in the car, “Mum and Dad don’t know that you race, and if they’re not able to be there and worry about your safety then I am going to be the one to do so. Can’t have you risking your life and at least not one of us being there.”

He shakes his head and tuts, “I’m not risking my life. It’s just competitive driving.” 

You furrow your eyebrows and you hear Daisy chuckle, “You’re delusional.” 

“Says you.” 

The two of you hear a tut coming from the back seat, “I know the two of you are siblings, and this is just what I have to deal with, but sometimes I really do wonder whether or not you’re children hidden in fully grown bodies.” 

“I’m not the child.” Isaac’s quick to say, “If anything, you’re the child!” 

“Really?” You shake your head, “You must know that you saying that basically proving everything! You’re the child, Isaac.”

“God, I wish I’d never said anything.” Daisy shakes her head and you cross your arms over your chest, pouting slightly but trying not to make it too obvious because you really were trying to be the adult in this situation. 

You and Isaac weren’t the closest of siblings, to say the least. The two of you never did much together and if you did it wasn’t voluntarily, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t care for each other because you certainly did. The two of you would protect each other without any hesitation, in any situation because that was the type of siblings that you were. That didn’t mean that you were friends, though, because you didn’t have to be. You loved each other, and you cared for each other, but you didn’t have to be friends with each other and you were both okay with that. It was was though you both had an unspoken agreement that you’d look out for each other in this way. 

Turning onto the ever so familiar field, you know that it isn’t going to be long before your heart rate is going to feel as though it is beating out of your chest and your palms are going to start to get sweaty. You believed that you brother was good at what he did, he wouldn’t have gotten as far as he had if he didn’t, but even if someone is as good and as talented as he was that didn’t meant that accidents don’t happen. 

There isn’t just that fact that your brother is good at the sport to contend with, but also the fact that some people who do it may not be as good as he is, and they could be reckless, and in drag racing, recklessness gets people in trouble. You knew that, he knew that and everyone who participated and watched knew that. You knew that there were some people there just to watch the race whilst getting drunk with their friends and you didn’t mind that because that was what it was there to do, but you couldn’t stand the people who were there in hopes that something did go wrong, just to see a little bit of action in their boring day to day lives. 

You supposed that a part of your worry for these games were because you weren’t just worried about your brother, you were worried about somebody else also. Isaac stopped the car so that you and Daisy could get out but you hesitated before doing so. You looked at him, and he nodded at you so you nodded your head and again and got out. You stood and watched as he drove away, making his wear to where all of the participants line up their cars before it starts. 

Your eyes follow him, all the way along the man-made little road on the field and to where the other cars were. That’s when you see him, stood in exactly the same place as he was a few weekends before this one and a few weekends before that, leant against his car and his arms crossed as he chewed some gum. 

The insides of your stomach flutter, and not in nervousness but instead in the complete opposite way. He catches your eyes straight away, raising his eyebrows at you as you smile at him. You nod your head, trying hard not to let too big of a blush cover your cheeks and he nods back. That’s as far as your interaction with Harry can go at the moment, because if anyone saw the two of you communicating you knew that all hell would break loose and you certainly didn’t want to be around to see that. 

The race was going to start any second, and you made your way over to where Daisy was stood, knowing that she would have saved you a spot next to her so that you didn’t have to try and manoeuvre your way through the crowd to get a good spot to watch. You were relieved that you had arrived here not early enough to have to wait hours like you had before, because it was in the time like that where the overpowering feeling of worry was able to slip into you like nothing else and you would try really hard to overpower it but the majority of the time you never felt as though you could. 

What YN worried about the most though, was the fact that whoever could be injured in the race, or something worse, were both people that YN loved. The two of them for different reasons, of course, but it was still love and all of the love you felt for them was important. You watched as they both sat in their cars, driving towards the starting line with such an ease that you wondered whether or not they’d be able to do it in their sleep. You wouldn’t be surprised if they could. You know that Harry has raced in hundreds of races, and you also know that your brother is quickly catching up to that, but that doesn’t make it any easier, for them or for you. 

“Ready racers?” A woman walked in between the cars and held up a flag. Both her brother and Harry respond by a roar of their engine, “3! 2! 1! Go!” 

You look down slightly once you hear their cars start, going along the man-made path and over all of the hills and round all of the bends. You only look down for a second before looking up and watching as they drive away from you. The people around you cheer, and Daisy even cheers from the side of you but all you can make up the courage to do is clap your hands slightly. Every time you stand and watch a race, you always say to yourself that you’ll never do it again because you don’t think that you’re heart will survive it, but then you always come back to watch the next race because you physically can’t keep away. Not when two people you love are doing something that you know could end badly. 

They drive around, the two of them doing anything they can to try and throw the other off track but you know that it probably won’t work, because it works with everyone else but hardly ever with each other. You know that whoever wins will do so because of their speed, because that’s how it always happens when the two are up against each other. You stand there watching them drive for what feels like hours, the cheers only getting louder as the two of them fight for the first place prize. 

As the finishing line draws to a close, they’re playing cat and mouse with each other, and you know whoever is next to cross in front will win. 

It’s Isaac. Isaac won. You’re happy for him, but at the same time you know that Harry isn’t going to be the happiest but you’ll just have to remind him that he won last time and that he has to let other people win at some point. Your brother was cheering when he got out of his car, and you could see his friends bouncing over to him with smiles on their faces and drinks in their hands. You and Daisy make your way over, but you aren’t as excited they seem to see him. 

“Are you two leaving now?” He asks and you and Daisy look at each other before nodding, “Satisfied?” 

“Very.” You nod, “Well done.” 

“Thanks.” He raises his hand up and points at you, “Am I picking you up tomorrow?” 

You shake your head, managing to keep your cool as you did, “Daisy said she’ll drive me back. I don’t know whether you’ll be at work by the time we’re ready.” 

“Sounds good. See you tomorrow.” 

You physically let out a sigh of relief when you walk away and he believed you. You hate lying to him, you really do, but you just don’t see any other option to do what you’re doing without lying, which is horrible buy you really don’t know another wine. 

Daisy slips her arm into yours as you walk away, “Where’s he meeting you?” 

“In the usual place.” You nod, “I couldn’t see him when we were over there so I think he’s already gone.” 

“Okay.” She nods, “I’m catching a ride with Dennis, will you be okay?” 

“I’ll be fine.” You smile. 

“Call me if you need anything?” 

“You know I will.” 

“Good.” She wraps her arms around you before pulling away, “See you soon?” 

“See you soon.” 

The walk to the edge of the field, just behind a row of trees that hide Harry’s car from the watchful eye of others isn’t a long one, and you can feel the butterflies bubbling in the pit of your stomach the closer you walked to it. Just as every time you did this, your stomach was in twists and turns tightly in your stomach until you have to place your hand upon it as though it would calm it but it doesn’t. It doesn’t calm down until you see the back of the man you loves head, a slight cloud of smoke around his head and his leather jacket on his body. A smile immediately broke out over your lips. 

You bound over to him, immediately wrapping your arms around his waist and placing your cheek against the leather of his jacket. You can feel him tense underneath your touch slightly but once you hear and feel him chuckle, his whole body relaxes.

He hums, “Who might that be?” 

He grabs your hands and lightly pulls them away from his body so that he can turn around and place his hands around her back. You grin and place your chin on his chest, laughing softly as he leans down and places multiple kisses around your face, “Harry!” 

“What?” He grinned pulling away from you, shrugging his shoulders, “Do you not like my kisses or something?” 

You chuckle, “I love your kisses, but don’t you think they can wait until we’ll out of public. Away from my brother.” 

He pouts, dropping his head to your shoulder, “I suppose.” 

Harry walks over to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for you. As you walked towards him, you placed a kiss to his cheek and slipped into the car. The nerves were back in your stomach as you watched Harry walk around the car and slip into the driver’s seat. The two of you don’t get to see each other as much as you’d possibly like to, so nights like these were special to you, and you hoped that he was just as excited and nervous as you were. 

The second Harry was sat in his seat, and had started the car, his hand was on your thigh, squeezing the flesh through your trousers at you sat there. You really had missed feeling having him touching you, even though it hadn’t been that long. If it was up to you, Harry would be with you everyday and you would be able to kiss and touch him everyday without any issues, but you knew that just wasn’t the case. 

You and Harry had been together for a little shy of three years now, hiding your relationship from literally everyone apart from a few trusted people on each side of you. It wasn’t that you wanted to hide, but you both knew that you just had to if you were going to be able to have the relationship that you had. When you were younger, Harry and Isaac were best friends. You could always remember sitting in the back of the car after behind picked up from school and being squashed into the door because the middle seat was always taken by Harry. You can’t quite remember why the two of them fell out, but you did remember that it happened when the three of you were around fifteen or sixteen. 

It was a shock to everyone, because the two of them had been friends for the longest of times and Isaac did seem to be in a rut once it had happened. You had tried to talk to him about it a few times but he never said anything, so you turned to the one other person in the situation who might have to been able to help you. Harry. At first, he seemed to be completely shocked when you walked over to him one day after school and jumped into his car. He actually looked quite taken aback, but when you started asking questions about the falling out he just went quiet.

To this day you still don’t know what had happened between the two of them, but you do know that was the day that you relationship with Harry turned from being the generally acquaintances because you’re friends with my brother to something more. Harry was somebody who you had grown up with, and yes you could admit that he was handsome, but you’d never thought of him in a romantic way up until that point. A part of you wished that you had picked up on it early because you may have been able to kiss him sooner than you had but you were happy, and the two of you were now three years going strong. 

The fact that your brother and Harry had fallen out, and when the two of you got together it was really rocky between them, you both decided that the best thing to do was just not to tell him, which led to not telling anyone. You had said that when things improved between the two of them you would tell him, but once the Drag Racing started, there was no way that it would ever improve between the two of them, and you just had to accept that. 

Arriving at Harry’s apartment, it was almost as though your body was working on auto-pilot when Harry opened the door and you walked through. You kicked your shoes off by the door, walked into the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water and made your way into his bedroom. Harry was already stood in the small room, placing his jacket in his wardrobe. You quickly started to undress, swapping your clothes for one of Harry’s shirts and a pair of your pyjama shorts. You walk into the bathroom to take your makeup off and brush your teeth. 

“Have you had any more thought into our anniversary trip?” Harry called from the bedroom. 

“I’ve thought about it.” You say, running your make up wipe over your eyes, “That’s about it.” 

You can hear his sigh even from the other room, and your inside’s twists in not the good way. The anniversary trip had been something that the two of you had spoken about for a long time, and it would be coming in a few months and Harry had been on your back for a long time so that they could get it booked, but you were thinking about a lot of other things rather than booking a holiday. You did hate that you didn’t have anything more to say to him, because you knew that he was disappointed, but there was only so much that you could say. 

“I’ll need to book time off of work soon, YN.” He appears only in his boxers in the doorway, leant against it with his arms crossed, “I need to know the dates.” 

“I know.” You sigh, turning so that your hip was leant against the counter, “I still just need to figure out what I’m going to tell Isaac.” 

Harry sighs and runs his hand over his face, “I know. We can think of what to say to him later, but as soon as possible can you tell me the dates.” 

He walks over and places his hands on your waist and you nod, “I will. I’ll check when I get home.” 

“Good.” He presses a kiss to your cheek. 

You hated hiding things from Harry, you really did, because that man really was your soulmate and the person in this world that you told everything to, so it felt horrible to be hiding something from him. Hiding things from Harry felt like ripping your heart from your chest — you just couldn’t do it— but here you were, doing it without anything happening. 

It had been a long night for the two of them, and you knew that even though Harry had a brave face on, you knew that inside he probably wasn’t too happy that he’d lost. The thing about Harry, and your brother for that matter, was that they are so competitive, especially with each other, that when either one of them loses they try to seem like they don’t care but they do. When you walked back into the room, Harry was already in bed with his arms crossed and his face in a sulk. 

You sighed and walked over to your side of the bed, pulling the duvet back and slipping under. Harry didn’t even turn to look at you, so you wrapped your arm around his waist and placed your head upon his chest so that he couldn’t help but look at her. You knew that the main thing that you needed to do right now was try and get him out of the rut. It could spring on him at any point but it was never anything that was easy to get him out of. You sighed and pressed a kiss to his bare chest. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You mumbled against his chest. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He mumbled and you shook your head, lifting your hand up to push some of his hair out of his face. 

“There obviously is.” You sighed, “You’re in your rut. Talking about it takes you out of it. I know that, you know that, but you’re just too stubborn to realise this.” 

“I’m not too stubborn.” He pouts and you shake your head with a roll of your eyes, raising one of your eyebrows at him, “I just. . . fucking hate loosing to him. Talking about the anniversary, and I know why you haven’t said anything about it yet, baby, just reminded me. I’m sorry.” 

You hesitate for a second before smiling at him, “I know you are, H, don’t worry. It’s my fault. I should’ve told you.” 

“Don’t.” He shakes his head and leans forward, placing his hand upon your cheek, “Don’t apologise. I get that it’s hard for you, I know. I just. . . wish that I could take it all away from you. It’s my fault that you’re having to keep secrets from your brother.” 

You shake your head, “It’s not your fault. I promise that it isn’t your fault. There’s been hundreds of times in the past three years when I could have told him.” 

“It’s not just you. We need to tell him.” 

If you needed anything else to love Harry for (which you really don’t because you love him with you’re entire being) you feel as though this would be one of those things. You couldn’t believe how understanding he was, and even though the two of you did have times where you butted heads on things, it was never over anything big like this. The two of you made sure that if you ever did have a problem that you needed to sort, there would be some arguing and shouting but there is in any couple, but the two of you always made up before it ended up turning ridiculous. 

You turned your head to Harry and placed you lips on his, pushing his shoulders down with your hand so that he’s on your back. You move slightly underneath the duvet that you were both under, manoeuvring yourself so that you were hovering over his body, the two of your lips never separating. You were straddling him, your hands resting on the pillow by Harry’s head. Your hips ground against his boxers involuntarily, and you can feel him smiling against him. Harry moaned into your mouth, and you could feel his bulge growing harder and bigger beneath you. 

Pulling away slightly you lean forward and place your forehead upon his, smiling as you place a small kiss to his nose. The hard and stern face of your boyfriend that you had seen earlier when he was racing had completely disappeared, and it was now replaced by his soft and flush features that he only ever saved for when he was with you, and you loved it. You could still feel his hard-on rubbing against your thigh, and you leant forward and placed your lips back on his. His arms wrapped around your waist and back, slipping them down until he could squeeze and knead the flesh over your pyjama short. 

“You know I fucking love you, right?” He mumbles against your lips and you nod. 

His hips continue to buck up to yours, whilst you grind yours back down to him. You pulled away and leant your head upon his forehead again, “I know you love me. You know I love you?” 

He responded you flipping you over, his body now hovering over you. He gave you a boyish smile and nodded his head, leaning his head back down to place his lips on your neck, pressing small little kisses to the skin. 

“I know you love me.” He mumbles against her lips, “Do you wanna feel me, baby? Have you missed me?” 

You responded with a moan, the sound of his raspy voice goes all the way from your ear, all the way down your spine to the heat between your legs. You wouldn’t be surprised if your panties were completely ruined by now. 

“Of course I’ve missed you.” You mumble against his lips, your cheeks flushing as you admit it to him. For years you two have been this close, but it didn’t stop you from being nervous every single time that you are near each other. It’s always how it had been, and probably how it will always be but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Tell me how much you’ve missed me.” He kissed down your neck, and you couldn’t help the smile that crossed you face as he did so, “Don’t hold back, baby.” 

You threw your head back as he moved downwards, threading your fingers through his hair as you did so. You just hoped that it made him feel better than it was. 

Walking home the next morning, your entire body was relaxed and happy in a way that it only ever is after you’d spent time with Harry. If you passed anyone in the street, you smiled at them and there was a slight bounce in your step. There was an excitement that there hadn’t been in you for a long time because you were going to look over your schedule and finally get yourself sorted for your anniversary trip with Harry. Walking through the door that goes into kitchen, you immediately walk over to the fridge to take the orange juice out. 

“Morning little sis.” You jump out of your skin and turn around, leaning your back against the counter and lifting your hand up to your chest as it beats in your chest. Looking at your brother, it seemed as though he had just got back from a run, since he was all sweaty, he had his running shoes on and his headphones around his neck. Immediately your heart started to beat in your chest quicker, and the relaxation that you had felt before had immediately left your body and you feel back on edge as you do a lot of the time recently. 

“Morning.” You grin, turning back around to open a cupboard to grab a glass that you could fill with the orange juice carton that you were still holding, “Been for a run?” 

He nods his head, walking over to the fridge and taking out a bottle of water. When he wasn’t looking directly at you, a sigh escaped your lips. It was quickly over and he was looking at you again, leant against the counter across from you with his arms crossed. 

“Woke up with the want to go for a run.” He explained and you furrowed your eyebrows, looking at him and he chuckles, “I know, totally unlike me but I really did just feel like it.” 

You nod, your fingers tapping on the counter slightly, “Did you. . . did you go on your normal route?” 

Isaac shakes his head, “I met up with D’Angelo. We went to the lake.” 

Just like that, the worry that was in your body had left. The lake was on the other side of the town to where Harry lived, and where Isaac normally ran meaning that he couldn’t have seen you leaving Harry’s house which was good. You were starting to realise that the more you had to make sure that your brother hadn’t seen or didn’t know anything about you and Harry, the harder it was becoming for you to keep track of everything. The lie of staying over at Daisy’s had worked for years now, but the older that you got and the more that situations were changing for the two of you, it was harder to keep it as a lie. 

“Was it busy?” You ask, trying to make conversation that made it seem as though everything was normal and nothing had happened. 

He shakes his head, “Not really.” He hesitates for a second before looking up at you and tilting his head to the side, “I did see Daisy and Dennis though.” 

And just like that, your whole body was back to being on edge and nervous. The only way that you could describe how you felt was a mixture of both shock and immediate nervousness. Isaac continued to drink from the bottle in his hand, with no malice or shock on his features at all. If he did know something, he would’ve had said something by now and you knew that because of how well you knew him and that’s in one of the ways how you were both similar — when you knew something, you couldn’t keep it a secret. 

It was something that you had grown up with, your inability to keep secrets and you were honestly and truthfully so surprised that you and Harry had managed to keep your relationship a secret for so long. This wasn’t the first time that you had thought that Isaac had found out about your relationship, and it wasn’t the first time that you hadn’t been able to figure out how to get out of it but you knew that you would be able to get yourself out of it. You hoped that you would be able to get yourself out it. 

You were started to get quite nervous though, with sweaty palms and a heart beating directly up against your chest. Your mind spiralled and you hoped that you were going to hear something that would stop your chest in the next few minutes. 

“Did you?” You cleared your throat to make it seem as though you were more put together than you were. 

He hums, “Yeah. They explained that you were walking home and that Dennis’ arrival was out of the blue.”

You nod and smile, your heart stopping to beat so quickly the second those words escaped her lips, “Yeah. He appeared and asked her to go on a walk before work later. I said that I’d just walk home so that Daisy could go. I think he’s going to ask her out soon.” 

Isaac scoffs and crossing his arms over his chest, “I hope so. They’ve only been dancing around it for the last few years.”

You nod, “We’ve all said it. I don’t know how many times we’ve told her but anyway, I’m going to get in the shower before getting ready for work.” 

You’re quick to walk out of the kitchen and up the stairs with your head spinning. The entire time that you’re getting ready, showering and doing your hair, standing in front of your mirror and looking at the marks that Harry had left over the entirety of your skin before putting your work uniform on, you’re thinking about what you’re going to do. Today you were going to book some time off work from the café during the week of your anniversary, and even though that Daisy would know why you were doing that, you didn’t have to tell anyone else there. When it came to being at home, and telling your brother why you were going to be leaving for a month whilst Daisy stayed at home was going to be hard to explain to say the least. You were going to have to think very carefully about what you were going to say. 

Walking into the small café you worked at not that long later, you were happy to finally be in the place where anything else that happened in your life went to the back of your mind and you could focus on making drinks and serving customers. You had worked at the café since the day you turned eighteen, and you had worked there ever since. It wasn’t what you wanted to do forever, working in the little café with your best friend and your boss that is just an absolute asshole, but you just haven’t got the funds or was it the right time for you to try and get your dream going. 

Your dream, albeit a big one, was to one day own your own café that sold your own treats that you made and looked the exact way that you wanted it to. You had been planning your own café and telling everyone you knew about it since sitting in your maths classes in middle school when you realised that school really wasn’t for you. You were okay in school, and you got good enough grades, but none to get you to what you wanted to do in life. Over the last three years, many of your conversations with Harry had been about your café and how you would work there whilst he would take over his father’s mechanical shop. 

That was the plan for the future, but first — you had a shift to do and you had a lie to think of. 

“Afternoon.” You mumbled as you walked into the small café, Daisy’s eyes immediately widening as she takes a look at you stood there, “How are you?” 

“I’m sorry.” Daisy blurts out, not being able to stop herself from doing so, “I really didn’t know that he was going to be there, if I did I would have never gone there, you know that.” 

“I know.” You walk over and wrap your arms around her shoulders briefly, “He doesn’t know, it’s fine. I shouldn’t be relying on you so much, Daisy, I know that. I’m trying to figure out what to do.” 

“It’s okay, YN.” She mumbles, placing her hand upon your shoulder with a smile, “I know why you’ve done it, but I’m glad you’re finally coming to your senses. It’s three years too late, but at least you’re here.” 

“At least it’s happening now.” You sigh, widening your eyes as you look at her. 

“You’ll be fine. Everything will be fine.” 

You sigh and nod your head, hoping that she was right. 

You heard Harry’s car before you could see it, pulling up outside of your house in a quick stop so that you could quickly duck out and get it. Isaac was out for the night, doing another race in another town that Harry couldn’t do because he had work, so they had decided to spend the night together. Due to Isaac being out of town, they decided that they might even be able to go for a meal, to a restaurant, like a normal couple would. 

You gave him a small smile and a peck on the lips as you sat in the car. There hadn’t been much discussion between you and Harry that week, not since you had left his that morning. It was odd, because the two of you spoke everyday, even if it was just to check that the other was okay, but the conversation this week had been limited to you asking him to come for a meal and him replying saying that he would. You always knew that this day would come, where the unspoken issue between the two of you had become too much for you to handle. 

You had tried five times over the last week to say something to Isaac, trying to drop it in to normal conversation but you always dived away from it, as though you couldn’t allow yourself to say what you wanted to say to him. You had never been as nervous before in your life, and all you had to do was tell him about a secret that involved the one person that Isaac hated most in life and his twin sister. You just had to try your hardest to remind yourself over and over again that it was the best thing to do, and that you’d be happy if you were able to get the words out, but you just couldn’t. 

The two of you arrived at a restaurant on the outskirts of the town you lived in, one that meant you would be safe if Isaac did return home and one that the two of you also knew would serve good food. The car ride continued without any words spoken between the two of them, and you tried your hardest to not feel the nerves bubbling inside of you, but you also knew that there was a reason why you were going to have this conversation with him, and there was a reason why you needed to feel nervous for it. 

Sitting across from Harry in a booth that sat at the front of the restaurant, you couldn’t even bring yourself to take your eyes off of his face. There hadn’t been a lot of times during your relationship with Harry where you had felt like this, and it was usually always when the two of you were discussing the exact topic that you knew that you were going to be now. Whilst you couldn’t take your eyes off of Harry, it seemed as though he wanted nothing more than to not look at you. 

“Hey.” He didn’t look up from the menu that he had in his hand, “Are you going to even look at me?” 

You watch as he doesn’t even move a muscle, never mind do the thing that you wanted him to do which was look at you, “I’ve looked at you.” 

“Not since we’ve sat down you haven’t.” 

You watch as he sighs and drops the menu down so that it was rested upon the table between you and lifts his eyes up to look at you, “Happy now?” 

A small smile breaks out your face, a sarcastic one at that, but a smile nonetheless, “Very.” 

Harry rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. You look at him with your eyes widened. Why this was happening all of a sudden, you didn’t know, but you had a slight suspicion that you weren’t going to be able to argue your way out of this one with him like you had done in the past. The first thing that led you to believe that was the fact that you were in a public place, where you had to do your best to make sure that you were going to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. 

As a whole, you were ashamed of your actions over the years, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to apologise for everything that you had done in the past but you could at least try. Everything had changed now that you had your three year anniversary coming up, and you realised that there was so much more to life than trying to hide a stupid secret from your brother. 

“Harry.” You start, a sigh immediately leaving your lips after, “I’m sorry. I really am.” He nods his head, “I don’t expect you to accept my apology, and I certainly don’t expect you to forgive me for the shit that I’ve put you through these last couple of years, but, I want to let you know that I am trying to fix things. I promise you.” 

He sighs, “I don’t know how you can, YN. I’ve thought about it a lot recently, in the past week, since our conversation last week.” 

“I have too.” You nod, your fingers messing with the hem of your jacket, “I have too. I’ve tried so many times, to tell him, but I just can’t and I don’t know why. He can’t do anything, I’m a grown ass woman and he’s just my brother. He can’t tell me who I can and can’t love, and I do love you Harry more than anything, but there’s a part of me that just can’t tell him.” 

Harry cleared his throat and sighed, “I never told you the reason we argued.” 

You shake your head, “Neither of you did.” 

“Do you want to know?” He asked. 

You shrugged, “I don’t know. . . if it will help, than yes.”

Harry sighed and nodded his head, running his finger over his bottom lip the way that you knew that he did when he was nervous, “We were in Eugene’s basement, having just watched one of his races and he had some shit, and we decided to take it. It was just us, everyone else had gone to do something else or get high somewhere else, and we were just sat.” You were hanging off of every word that he said, “We were taking about, I don’t know, life and all the shit that we usually do when we’re high and we got onto the topic of you.”

Your eyes widen, “Me? Why were you talking about me?” 

“He mentioned you and how you wanted to do things with your life and how he was fed up that all he had to do with his life was race.” Harry chuckled and shook his head, “I couldn’t even help it, I just blurted out that I liked you and that I was going to ask you on a date, thinking that he would be happy for us, but instead, he punched me in the face.” 

Your lips part, “He what?” 

“He punched me.” Harry runs a hand through his hair, “And then he just started screaming at me, saying that scum like me wasn’t good enough for someone like you. The more he said it, the more I believed it and I believed it all the way until you got in my car and asked me to tell you what had happened. I didn’t, and I didn’t for a reason, because if I had told you maybe you would’ve thought the same as him, that I wasn’t good enough for you, so instead I asked you on the date, just like I had planned to.” 

You let his words sink in for a while, the sound of them bouncing around in your head for a while as you look down at the table in front of you. You couldn’t lie and say that you hadn’t thought about what had gone down between them, and what had been said to make them despise each other as much as they did, but you certainly hadn’t expected it to be about you of all things. It started to all make sense now, how when you had asked him, after your first night together at his house, if he was okay that you didn’t tell your brother about the two of you being together, and he agreed. At first you had thought that it was odd, seeing as though this man didn’t know your motive behind why you were saying that, but at the same time, you didn’t know his motive behind why he said yes. 

It all made sense. 

You sigh and nod your head, “Why didn’t you just tell me? I would’ve understood. You know that I would’ve.” 

He shrugs his shoulders, “Why didn’t you tell me about what you had been thinking? And what you had been trying to do?” 

You shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know.” 

“It works both ways, YN.” He shrugs, “And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you but a part of you has to realise that there was a reason you didn’t tell me and you didn’t tell him. I understand a part of you was trying to keep it calm between us, but there had to be more than that.”

You can feel the tears starting to brim within your eyes, and the more that you thought about it, the more that you knew you were going to struggle to hold them back. You start to blink quickly, lifting your eyes up to look at the ceiling. It worked, and you managed to make sure that no tears slid down your cheeks. 

“A part of me did do it because I knew that it would be easier for you, that you didn’t have to tell him that you were my boyfriend. I knew how hard that would’ve been for you.” You explain, lifting your hand up to scratch your forehead, “So I decided that for a little while, I just wouldn’t tell him. At least not until things had calmed down between the two of you. After a few months of waiting was going to say something to him, just drop it into conversation and then walk out of it with my hands up but then I realised that it wasn’t going to be that easy. The day that I was going to do it, he walked into my bedroom with this big news that he was so excited to tell me.” You take in a breath and sigh, “It was the news that you were starting to drive, and that he was going to beat you that night and I knew that if I had told him, he wouldn’t have just beat you in the race.” 

“I can stand up for myself, YN.” 

“I never said that you couldn’t.” She shook her head, “I just didn’t want you getting hurt because of me.” 

“I wouldn’t be getting hurt because of you. I’d be getting hurt because of something we did.” He explains, “Just like you can’t blame this all on me, and me on you, I’m not going to let you blame this all on yourself either.” 

“Harry.” You sigh and lean back in the chair that you sat in, “We’re going to have to tell him.” 

He shakes his head, “He’s not going to like it.” 

“I know.” You agree with him and hold your hand out, “But we’ve got to tell him.” 

“I know we have.” He grasps your hand in his.

It turned out that you and Harry didn’t have to wait for too long to tell your brother, because when Harry pulled up outside of your house, your brother was already sat there on the steps of the house, waiting for you to arrive home. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing if you were completely honest, and a part of you realised that this was it. You turned to look at Harry slightly, a sigh leaving your lips as you did so. 

“You still want to do this?” He asked, pulling his keys out of the ignition as the car came to a complete stop. 

You sigh and lean over to place your hand upon his, “I don’t think we have a choice, now.” 

“We do.” He turned his head to look at you, squeezing your fingers as he did so, “I could just drive away. Ignore him.” 

You chuckle and shake your head, lifting your connected hands up to place a kiss to the back of his hand, “Come on. He might explode if we keep him waiting any longer.” 

You certainly couldn’t lie and say that your brother looked like he was handling everything well, because he certainly wasn’t. His jaw seemed to be constantly clenched the entire time that you walked towards him, and you definitely saw his hands that were clenched by his sides in fists. You knew that he was going to be annoyed, and you expected that there would certainly be some shouting involved with this, but, she certainly didn’t want this to become physical at any point. In your opinion, it certainly wasn’t worth it. 

“YN.” You stop in front of him once he’s spoken your name, and Harry is just a few steps behind you. Having him there really brings a comfort that you don’t really feel unless you’re with him, so if anything, you were happy that he was there, “What are you doing with him?” 

“I’m—” You start, looking at him for a second before letting out a sigh, “He’s—”

You can’t find the right words to say what you want to say. You knew that it wasn’t going to be easy to explain to your brother, but you at least thought that you’d be able to get past the first words without choking up, but it seemed as though that wasn’t the case. 

“Isaac—” Harry takes a step forward, so that he was directly next to you but before he could say anything else, Isaac holds his hand out to stop him. 

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Harry clamps his lips shut, and you can tell that he’s trying to hold back so many things but at least he isn’t making the situation worse which you knew that he possibly could. Isaac then turns to you, “I was asking you the question. What are you doing with him?” 

Letting out a sigh, you shut your eyes for a second to calm yourself down, “I’m. . . we’re together, Isaac.” 

He lets out a sigh and shakes his head, tutting slightly as he did so, “When Eugene told me, I didn’t believe him. I said that you’d never do that to me because you know that I hate him more than I’ve hated anyone in my life before.” 

At first you listen to the words that he was saying and you nod along, as if you’re understanding what they’re saying, but you quickly shake your head and cross your arms over your chest. 

“I’d never do what to you, Isaac?” You ask, your eyebrows furrowing as you say the words you were speaking, “I’ve fallen in love with someone, Isaac, I don’t think that involves you at all.”

“But you know I can’t stand him!” 

“Still here, you know.” Harry mutters, lifting his hands up and walking away from them slightly. 

You turn over to look at Harry and glare at him slightly before you turn your attention back to Isaac, “Why do you think I didn’t tell you? I knew that you’d react like this.” 

“What? I’d react completely sane, YN?” Isaac scoffs and shakes his head. 

“Sane?” You physically can’t believe what you’re hearing, “Isaac, you don’t have the right to act like this over who is my boyfriend. Yeah, I understand that you don’t like Harry and he isn’t particularly fond of you either, but you don’t have a say in that.” You stop slightly and let out a sigh of relief when you realise that you’ve got him listening, “I would completely understand if you were upset about me not telling you and lying to you, but that is what you can be mad at.” 

He looks at you but then he shakes his head, and you know that everything that you’ve just said has gone and he couldn’t care less about it now. 

“YN.” You know that tone of voice anywhere, and you couldn’t believe that he was still acting like this, “It’s Harry. You don’t know the shit that he said, and you don’t know what it was like to sit and listen to him saying everything he said about you.” 

This time, it’s you who lets the words that he’s just spoken sink in for a while. If what Harry had said to you earlier was true, that all your brother had to be upset about was him saying that he liked you and wanted to ask you out. Now, you’re not exactly sure how the male mind works, but you’re pretty sure that Isaac can distinguish between someone saying that they like someone and something else. You turn to look at Harry and he looks down at the floor, and that’s when you realise very quickly that there was something else to the story that you didn’t know. The mere thought of it made you feel sick. What had actually been said that night?

“Isaac.” You turn back to look at him, “What was said?” 

“YN.” He shakes his head, scratching his forehead slightly, “I don’t want to tell you.” 

“Tell me.” Your words are harsh and you can tell by the way that Harry backs away from you that you’re about to be in for a real treat, “Tell me!” 

“When we were in high school, we had this list.” Isaac starts, and you know that what he is saying is probably really important context but you just want him to get to the point, “And on this list, we’d rank who we thought were the most fuck-able girls in the school.” 

Your entire heart plummets to the pit of your stomach, “That’s disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourselves.” 

“I am, don’t worry.” Isaac nods, “Harry never got involved with it, and we all knew why, because he was the good one who never cared about those things and everyone just accepted that. I certainly did.” 

“Just get on with it, Isaac.” 

“Well, we were in Eugene’s basement and we were high and drunk and everything was just a little blurred if I’m honest, but I asked Harry a question. I said, best friend to best friend, if you were to pick one person to go on the top of the list, and just be his one person and nobody apart from us would ever find out, he turned to me and said: you.” 

You can’t figure out what your angrier at. You can’t decide whether it’s because Harry had actually said those words to your brother, degrading you in such a way that you had never ever expected him to or the fact that he had lied to you about what had actually happened. In honesty, you do think that thing that has upset you the most was that he didn’t tell you the truth. He could have told you what had actually happened earlier on in the day on you wouldn’t have cared, because you knew that he was high and drunk and he probably wouldn’t have meant it but the fact that he lied, made you feel sick to your stomach. It made you question whether or not he had lied to you at other points and you just hadn’t known because you were too naïve to see it. 

You turn to look at Harry and he’s looking directly back at you, not at the ground and not anywhere else but directly at you. 

“Harry.” You can already feel the tears start to form within your eyes, “Tell me it’s not true.” 

Harry shakes his head and looks down at the ground, and you shake your head to try and back the tears. You know that if you open your mouth words will tumble out that you really don’t mean, and you know that you can’t let that happen but you’re in such a state that you know that you’re mind would be clouded with how upset you are. 

“He knows it’s fucking, true, YN.” Isaac says from behind you, “That’s why we fucking fought and punched the living daylights out of each other.” 

You shake your head again, the tears involuntarily spilling down your cheek, “Harry. Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I thought—” He starts but then he shakes his head, “I didn’t—”

Just like you couldn’t find the words to say, it seemed as though Harry couldn’t either. You really didn’t care about what he said, and you wouldn’t care about what he said. There were things that you’d said when you were younger and in high school that you certainly regretted and you would hate if anyone was to bring them up but you wouldn’t lie about it. You had lied in the past and done things in the past that you didn’t agree with, but it wasn’t as though you were doing it for any other reason but to protect the relationships that you had made with people. 

“Harry.” He lifts his head to look at you, “I think you should go.” 

“YN. . .” He takes a step forward towards you but you hold your hand up. 

“Just for tonight.” You nod your head, “We’ll speak tomorrow. We all just need to. . . calm down.” 

“But YN. . .” He takes another step forward but you shake your head. 

“Please, Harry.” You close your eyes, “Just for tonight.” 

He doesn’t seem very happy with what you had said but he nods at you once before walking over to his car and getting in. He slams the door closed behind him, and you flinch when he does so. You watch through the window as he looks at you one last time before starting the engine and driving. 

He drives on, and he doesn’t look back, not even one last time and you watch as his car disappears off the street. Once you know that he’s gone, you start walking towards the end of the drive and down to the pavement. 

“YN—” Isaac starts but you turn to look at him and shake your head. 

“Not now.” You run a hand through your hair, “I’m going to Daisy’s. I’ll be fine.” 

With that, you walk down the street and towards Daisy’s house, the thoughts of what had just happened dancing around in your head. You knew that this was going to happen at some point, and it would all blow up in your face, you just hadn’t know that it would be like this.

The next day you return home with bags underneath your eyes and yawns escaping your lips. You would say that you’re nervous, but after being up all night with worry in your stomach, you’re pretty certain that you’re just a little anxious but the thing that overwhelms your brain more than anything is the want for all of this to be over. You needed to sort things out with your brother, so you could go back to being siblings that annoy each other more than anything, and then you need to sort everything out with Harry. You knew that it was going to be hard, and you knew that your emotions were going to be high but you needed to get it over and done with. You weren’t going to allow your life to be like this for longer than it needed to be, and it didn’t need to be at all. 

When you walked through the front door of your house, you didn’t know what you were expecting to see, but you really didn’t expect what you saw. Isaac was laid across the couch, with empty beer bottles on the table in front of him. You knew why he had done it, and you hated that it was your fault that he had done it but at the same time he was a grown man, just like you were a grown woman, and he knew that this wasn’t the right way to go about things. 

With a sigh, you walked over to the sofa and picked up one of the cushions by Isaac’s feet and threw it air his head. He groaned and moved around and that was when you nudged his legs so that you could sit down. He groaned again but moved them away, and you heard him yawn and felt his body lift up from beside you so that he was upright. 

“How’s the head?” You mumble, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back in the seat. 

He groans and does the same, “It’s been better.” 

You chuckle and close your eyes, allowing a slight calmness to wash over your body. If there was one thing that you missed about getting older, was not being able to have the stupid conversations with him that made absolutely no sense to anybody but the two of them. But, something that you did know was that even when this was all sorted and everything went back to normal, you wouldn’t be surprised if not everything went back to normal between the two of you. It was something hard to understand, but you just had to accept it because you wouldn’t be surprised if it took years to fix. 

There’s a silence between the two of you for a while, but you quickly realise that isn’t going to help you in your situation so without really thinking you collect yourself and let out a small breath that you didn’t know you had been hiding for a while. 

“I’m sorry.” You say, the words coming out of your mouth stronger than you had expected them to. You thought that they would at least be broken, but they weren’t, “I’m sorry for everything, but most importantly, I’m sorry for lying and keeping it from you.” 

You don’t know what Isaac is going to say, and the fact that you don’t does make you worry slightly but you know that you’d be able to handle whatever he was going to say. You would be able to handle it because you were strong, at this point you needed to be. 

“I accept your apology.” He says, and you turn to look at him with tears in your eyes. He nods at you and smiles, “The more I thought about it, the more I understood why you did it. If the shoe was on the other foot I would’ve done the exact same thing. I wouldn’t have even hesitated to.” 

You nod your head and close your eyes, a few tears falling from them but you’re quick to lift your hand and wipe them away. He reaches over and grabs your hand, and you squeeze his as you do so. 

“I shouldn’t have lied to you though.” You shake your head, “We don’t lie to each other.” 

“Oh.” Isaac shakes his head and you furrow your eyebrows at him, “We don’t lie to each other but we certainly keep secrets. The amount I’ve kept from you. . . you’d probably kill me.” 

Your lips part in shock, “Are you going to tell me them?” 

“No.” He shakes his head, a chuckle leaving his lips, “I maybe will later, but right now, you’ve got somewhere to be.” 

“Have I?” He taps his hand on your leg and stands up, and all you can do is furrow your eyebrows in response. 

“You have.” You watch as he grabs his jacket and places it on his body, “And I’m going to take you there.” 

You know straight away that Isaac is talking about going to see Harry, and just the fact that he was going to take you made you want to burst out into even more tears that you had been before. You didn’t though, because you were able to keep your calm and just smile and nod along with him, but it was certainly hard for you to do. It felt as though you were getting acceptance from Isaac and although you knew that you didn’t really need it, it sure felt good to have. You offered him a quick smile and got into his car, driving you to Harry’s and leaving you there with a squeeze of his hand. 

Even though you weren’t that nervous when it came to talking to Isaac, speaking to Harry was a completely different thing. Whereas you and Isaac had a sibling bond that could never be broken, you and Harry had a bond, one that was love to the highest degree, but it was still a love that could be broken. You just hoped that this wasn’t it and you hadn’t met the point of no return just yet. 

You palms were sweaty as you knocked on his door, and your heart felt as though it was going to beat out of your chest but you knew that this was the right thing to do. You could hear shuffling behind the door, and then it swung open, and you wanted to sigh in relief just at the sight of him stood there. He looked like he hadn’t slept, but you hadn’t either so it was something that you both had in common, and he had his joggers hung low on his hips in a way that you always found so endearing whenever he did it. 

“Hi.” You say, the corners of your lips tilting upwards slightly, “Can I come in?” 

He opens his mouth as if to say something but then he just ends up nodding his head and opening the door wider so your body can slip through. It looks exactly the same as the last time you had been there, and it felt comfortable and like your home. It certainly was your home away from home, and living with Harry would be something that you wouldn’t mind doing in the future if time permitted you too. You had to remind yourself to take a few steps back and look at the situation ahead of you, and how you had a lot of things that you needed to talk about before anything else in the future could happen. 

Walking into the apartment, you hear Harry shut the door behind you. You knew that he wasn’t too far behind you, so you turned around.

“I didn’t think you’d be here so soon.” He muttered, shrugging his shoulders, “I thought you’d need a few days.” 

“I said I would talk to you tomorrow.” You smile and nod your head, “I’m wasn’t about to go back on that.” 

You swear you can see the slight lift of the corner of his lips, and it’s the first sign to you that everything might actually end up being okay. 

“I know you think we have things to talk about but I actually just have one thing to say.” He says, taking a step forward towards you. You watch as he hesitantly reaches out and grabs your hand, and you smile at just the feeling of his skin on yours again, “I’m sorry, That’s all I can say. I’m sorry that I said those things all those years ago, and I’m more sorry that I didn’t tell you about it when I had the chance. It was stupid of me, and I can understand if you want to. . . if you want to.” He physically stops and you can tell that he’s struggling with something, “If you want to break up with me.” 

You gasp at his words, taking a step forward and placing your hands on his cheeks, “Harry. . . no. Don’t think that. I’m not going to break up with you over that.” 

You can hear him physically sigh and you couldn’t even understand why he dared to think the way that he was, “I didn’t know. I didn’t know how you’d think.” 

“Harry.” You lean forward so that your forehead is on his, “I’m upset that you lied, but I did too. If anything, we’re just as bad as each other. That’s probably why we’re so perfect for each other, right?” 

“Right.” He chuckled, nodding his head, “We’re perfect for each other. I love you so much, I’m so sorry.” 

“I’m sorry too.” You close your eyes as you let the words sink in, “If there’s one way I know how we’re never going to go through anything like this again, is if we promise to never keep anything from each other again.” 

“We won’t.” He mumbles, “I won’t.” 

“Good. I won’t either.” Your hands grip onto his arms as they wrap around your neck, “I need you, Harry Styles. I do.” 

“I need you too.” 

With that you open your eyes so that you can look directly in his, a small smile breaking over your lips at the fact the two of you knew that he needed you just as much as you needed him. It certainly made this entire situation feel as though it happened for a reason, that it happened so that you could be stronger than you already were. You never doubted that he loved you, and that you loved him, but there was the doubt that everything would have caught up with you, and that was something that you knew would be your fault. All of this was your fault, for not being honest in the first place, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t find it in yourself to be honest now and get you and Harry through this. 

Without even the slightest hint of hesitation you lean forward and place your lips on his, and he didn’t wait to kiss back, his tongue moving against his bottom lip before pushing it through your parted lips. Your tongue met his in your mouth, and you pulled each other closer, grasping at each other with the want and need that never stopped when you were around him. The spark that you always felt when you were with him ran all the way down from the skin of your lips to the tip of your toes, fluttering all over your body. You had told him that you needed him, which was the truth, but you were soon starting to realise that there was more to the need you had for Harry than what met the eye. It was something that went past all of the words in the dictionary to actions that you needed to name, and that’s why you pulled away and rested your head on his forehead. 

“Harry.” You mumble, “Take me to the bedroom.” 

He pulls away and furrows his eyebrows, not expecting those words to slip from your mouth, “Are you sure? We don’t have to.” 

“I’m sure.” You mumble against his lips, “Never been more certain of anything in my entire life.” 

He presses kisses against your neck and shoulders as he places you down on the bed, his body hovering over yours. When he starts to put a little more pressure on your skin with his teeth, you can’t help the light moans that start to escape your lips. He starts to toy with the hem of your shirt, and you respond to him by lifting your legs and wrapping them around his waist. Your hips move in circular motions to his, and it’s his turn to moan into you. 

You pull away and sit up, pulling your shirt over your head and revealing your bra to him. It wasn’t the nicest bra you owned, but it got to the point in your relationship when you didn’t need to wear fancy lingerie all of the time to feel good enough for him, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t every now and then to feel sexy. Every now and then, though, just like you felt now, you realise that you don’t need to wear anything to feel sexy because just the way that Harry looked at you made you feel like that. The was his eyes raked up and down your body, across every inch of skin that he could see. That made you feel sexy. The way he looked at you made you feel sexy. 

“Missed this.” He leans over and places a kiss to the skin of your shoulder, “Missed you. You’re so fucking beautiful, YN, you have no idea.” 

You lean forward and capture your lips again on his, slipping your arm around his shoulder so that you could run your nails down his back, scratching lightly as you did so. He took it upon himself to slip his hands between the two of you and unbutton your trousers, pulling them as well as your panties down your legs. You remove your arms from around his neck so that you can unclip your bra and pull it down from your torso and throw it down on the floor with the rest of your clothes. This was how you loved it to be with Harry. You just loved it when the two of you were together, alone. You guessed a part of it was because that was all you ever knew of it. 

Harry was the most loving and beautiful person you’d met in your life, and you would have loved to be able to show him off to the world as the one you loved but it just wasn’t that easy, but now you had the slight suspicion that you might be able to, and a part of you was excited about that. 

Your hands extend back out to him, pulling his body back down so that he was hovering above you again. He places a single kiss to your lips before moving his way down your body, placing kisses to your chest before moving down to the top of your breast and then down towards your nipples. He moves from each of them, one to the other, giving each of them the attention that he always does. You smile and thread your fingers through his hair, running through the curls that sat on top of his head. You used it to pull his head back up and place his lips on yours again. He responds by immediately kissing you back, and he wraps his arms around you so that he could flip you over, so that you’re resting above him now. 

You pulled back and rested your forehead against his, “You want me on top?” He nodded and you smiled, watching as he slipped his hands into each side of his joggers before pulling them down his legs, as well as his boxers, revealing his cock. You manoeuvre your body so that you’re further down the bed and so that your head is at the same level as him, and you lean forward, pressing a singular kiss to the tip. The sound that emits from his throat causes you to not hesitate in leaning forward and wrapping your lips around the top of him, starting to bob your head at a slow pace that you know is seemingly working because you can see his stomach moving up and down at a quick pace. Groans tumble from his lips, and you know that he’ll be getting close but before he can do anything else his hands press against your cheeks and lift you back up so that he can kiss you again. 

“Don’t you wanna. . . ?” You ask, your eyebrows furrowing as you look at him. 

“No.” He shakes his head, placing his lips on yours, “I don’t want anything but to be inside of you right now.” 

You watched as he moved backwards slightly, so that you were close enough to the wall that you could rest of your hand against the wall as you manoeuvre yourself over him. His cock slips between your folds, and words can’t describe how wet you are for him, dripping all over him. You place your lips on his again and start to move yourself up and down his cock. The groan that escapes his lips is unlike any you’ve heard before, and you can’t help the smile that dances across your lips. 

“You’re drenched for me.” He groans against your lips, “Fuck, I wanna be inside of you.” 

“Be my guest.” You grin, and you watch as he leans down to grab his cock in his fist and you lift up so that you can line yourself up with him. You grasp his shoulder as you slowly sink down on him, the familiar feeling of having him fill you up overwhelming you. You had been together for three years and no matter how many times you had sex, it still manages to overwhelm you more than words can explain. You whimper when he’s fully inside of you, hesitating for a few minutes before you press your lips to his in another short kiss. 

“So fucking tight.” He mumbles, “Best fucking feeling in the world.” 

You tilt your head back slightly with a smile crossing your lips, “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” 

He chuckles but that’s quickly shut off when you start to move, bouncing up and down on his cock. Your nails scrape down his back as you move, and you can’t help the moans of profanities that leave your lips as you move. You knew you were squeezing yourself around him, it was always something that you did that caused him to clench his jaw, just has he was doing now. You quickly found a rhythm, swirling your hips and grinding them in a way that had both of you moaning out each others names. 

You tilted your head back when he hit a spot deep inside of you that sent a wave of pleasure rushing over your body. He didn’t even hesitate to lean forward and capture your nipple in his mouth, flicking his tongue over the bud slightly before moving to the other. He wrapped his arms around your body and slipped them down your back, all the way until he grabbed the flesh of your ass and squeezed. His movements were harsh, but they sent a wave of pleasure through your entire body. 

“YN.” You hum, leaning forward and resting your head on his shoulder, not stopping the movements on his hips, “You’re never going to leave me, are you?” 

You move so that you’re sat up straight and look at him, “Why would you think that? I’m not going to leave you, Harry, never.” 

“Good.” He leans forward and placing his lips back on yours. Your movements don’t slow down, if anything, they speed up and a string of moans escape your lips. His hands are all over your body, and his lips are too, and the the feeling starts to rush over you. You manage to keep your hips moving at the pace for a while before you slow down, and Harry notices this and quickly flips you both over. You lay on your back with your head on the pillow, and Harry doesn’t even hesitate when he slips back into you. His movements aren’t fast, but they’re certainly deep. 

“So fucking deep, Harry. Feels so fucking good.” Your words only seem to egg Harry on, especially the way your nails scratch down his back, “I’m so close.”

Harry was hitting just as deeply inside of you as he had been when you were riding him, and the feeling tips you closer and closer to the edge. Your hands drop down to your sides to grasp the duvet cover, and you turn your head so that you can muffle the obnoxiously loud moans that you couldn’t help leaving your lips. 

“I know you are baby.” One of his hands slips through yours, “Don’t hide them moans though, let me hear them, baby, you know what it does to me.” 

You move your head back so that he can hear your moans, and he smiles as he continues to fuck you. It doesn’t take long before he’s tipping you over the edge and your orgasm hits you. It’s one of the most powerful you’ve ever had, and you have every reason to believe that it’s because of how high emotions are between the two of you at the moment. It’s intense and you can feel it everywhere, all over your entire body and more so in the pit of your stomach. Harry didn’t stop his movements, not until he hit his high as well and spilled into you. You didn’t care about anything else in that moment though, because you felt closer to Harry now than you even had been, and you never wanted it to change again. 

Once he pulls out of you, a whimper immediately leaving your lips due to the emptiness you now feel. He quickly cleans you up, and then drops into the bed beside you, and you don’t even hesitate when you wrap your arm around his waist and rest your head upon his chest. When your eyes close, you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Harry.” He hums, and you can feel the vibration of his chest beneath your ear, “I’m sorry I told you to drive away.” 

“Don’t be.” He mumbles, his fingertips dancing along the skin of your arm, “We’ve all done thing that we aren’t proud of, but we have a new start. One where we don’t have to keep this a secret.” 

You nod and smile, still not opening your eyes, “I love you.” 

“Love you too, baby.” 

[mysticalrambling]

Missing You (T.H)

Tom Holland Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Tom is away for shooting and he is missing his daughter’s first easter. You and Sophia miss him terribly and he feels terrible for missing it. Sophia gets hurt during the egg hunt and Tom flies back to be with his family.

Warnings: Angst and some fluff.

._._._._.

“Daddy?” You had been folding your laundry because it was a therapeutic chore. The maid always left it for you by the end of the day because she knew that you enjoyed doing it. Your moment was interrupted by your one year old daughter barging into your room with only one question on her mind.

She had recently started walking and you were silently thankful because your over protective husband wouldn’t let her touch the ground in the fear that she would hurt herself. It even came to the point that Sophia started becoming agitated whenever he interrupted her progress. She would scream Bloody Mary when she saw him approaching with his arms outstretched. You sat him down one day and gently explained to him that we have to let her explore the world. If she falls and gets hurt, then it was our job to take care of her but we could not protect her from everything in advance.

The moment she took her first steps, they were towards Tom. You were there to record the moment and you guys were so glad that Tom had backed off a little bit. He would be there for his little princess every step of the way. If she wanted to leap, she could and he will be there to catch her if she started to fall. Sophia was the most important person in his life after you.

“Daddy is going to be here before your first Easter, bunny. Hopefully.” The last word was more of a mumble for yourself because you really hoped that he would be here. Sophia was born a few weeks after Easter so this was her first one.

“Daddy?”

Sighing, you said, “Let’s just get ready and see how cute you look in your new costume.”

“Bunny!” She ran off to her room to put her name on the and you opened your phone. Your husband told you that he would drop a text at approximately this time if he was going to make it back before the party. Disappointed, you just put the phone back on the side table.

“Okay, you need to sit tightly so that I can make your braids.” She was a hyper ball after she found the candies on the coffee table that you were going to give it to her at the party. Allergies to nuts was one of the many things that she had inherited from Tom and you never liked to take chances regarding their health. “No more sweets for you today, miss.”

“Nooooooo. Daddy!” Sophia’s voice trembled in the end because she knew that her dad would defend her. He was her knight in shining armor.

“Daddy is not here so let’s stop screaming now.” You were already in a sour mood as your husband was not with you on an important milestone. And Sophia was not making things easy for you either.

“No!”

“You are ready. I am going to give you your coloring books while I go get ready.” You did not listen to her small sniffles and went to take a shower while keeping the door open so you could keep an eye on her. When you got out, your phone was ringing and it was Tom.

“Hi. I am so sorry I can’t make it today. I tried my very best to get done with filming but it was not possible. So sorry, darling.” There was a crack in his voice that let you know that he was devastated about it.

“It’s okay, baby. There will be other Easters and you will be there for all of them. Don’t be sad, please.” You  tried cheering him up but it was not working.

Tom was always big on firsts; your first date, your first I love you’s, Sophia’s first kick, Sophia’s first tooth. He kept a record of all the moments and he was incredibly sad that he did not get to witness his child’s first Easter. Acting was something that he really enjoyed but he hated it right now. It was keeping him away from his family. He had planned everything out from where to hide all the eggs to where to buy the small bunny cupcakes that he would give to his little girl at the end of the day. This was not right but he was helpless. He could not do anything because he had an obligation to his fans as well.

“Is she wearing the costume that I ordered her?” When you mumbled out a yes, he asked, “Can you please send me a picture?”

“Soph, come and stand here. Pose for daddy.” When you sent him the picture, there was no response from his side. Seeing the picture, Tom choked back a sob. His little bunny looked incredibly cute with a white dress and a bunny ear headband. A pink tint graced her cheeks which meant that she had some candies and she had a toothy smile. Before he could say anything, the director called him back to shooting. “We will talk to daddy later. He might be busy right now.”

Tom’s mom had planned a party at her house and the whole garden was prepared for the egg hunt. You both wanted to host the party this year but Tom had to go to Cardiff last minute because of his shooting. Your siblings and nieces and nephews were all going to be there. You were happy that you got to spend this occasion with your family but you were miserable right now. Tom was not here.

“Hi. Who is this little rabbit here?” Nikki leaned in front of the toddler and squished Sophia in one of her famous bear hugs.

“Sophia Anne Holland!” There was a proud undertone to her voice because she could speak her whole name now.

“You are the cutest bunny ever.”

“I know.” You all chuckled at her haughty admission and watched as she skipped towards her cousins.

“Tom isn’t going to make it today?”

“Um no. He could not get away from work and he said to apologise on his behalf.” It was like something was missing and you didn’t want to indulge in that feeling.

“I am sorry, darling but he will make it up to you and Sophie.” You wanted to divert the topic so you started to talk about the guests and the decorations.

Pretty soon, you started mingling with the people and they always asked about Tom. You either replied to them or politely redirected the conversation. It felt weird being at a gathering without Tom. You haven’t done that from the past five years and you realised you didn’t much enjoy it now. Keeping an eye on Sophia was hard because it was usually Tom who performed that duty. You were given a free pass at parties from all the responsibilities and were allowed to enjoy every moment. He was always considerate towards you and that is why you loved him to death.

“Sophia, you can not go near the pool.” You caught her in your arms before she could fall in.

“Dada swimm- swimming.” Tommy was the one who was teaching her to swim because it was a hobby that he wanted his daughter to adopt from him. When she saw the water, she thought that her dad will be there to teach her.

“When dad comes back, you can go swimming.” Sophia still kept looking around for her father because this is the longest she has been away from him. Her toddler mind thinks that if she goes to do things that they do together, he will come to her. You couldn’t even get angry at her for wandering around the house without anyone. Hugging her, you tried to distract her, “Now, granny is having an egg hunt and we need to win it, okay bubs?”

“Win!!” You took her in your arms and went towards the garden where all the people were.

“Look, Tom. (Y/N) is here.” A phone was shoved in to your face by Sam and you saw Tom’s face on the screen.

“Hi. I was calling you and you didn’t pick up. I wanted to see Sophie on the egg hunt.” There was a look of longing on his face.

“I was busy with your daughter. She was running near the swimming pool and wanted to get in because she thought that you would be there to teach her.”

“Is she alright? Let me see her.” You angled the phone towards your shoulder where she was leaning on him. “Hey, baby.”

“Hi. Back?” Tom wanted nothing more than to hold his daughter in his arms and his heart broke when his daughter asked him that question. It meant that he was away too long because she never asked that question before. She didn’t need to.

“I’ll be back in no time and then we will go swimming. Promise.”

“Yes.” She hopped down from your arms and went to the start line of the race.

“How have you been?”

“Just missing you a lot and handling Soph is getting harder by the day.” You moved to a more secluded place on the ground so you could talk to your husband.

“I am sorry, darling. When I come back, you can have the whole weekend off.”

“Just come back. I want to spend sometime with my husband.”

“That is a tempting offer but I have to stay here a little longer. But when I come back, we will do more than spend sometime together.”

“I will look forward to it. The game is starting so I have to go.” You were about to end the call but he stopped you.

“I want to see her and I have a break for another twenty minutes.”

“Okay.”

The race soon started and among all her cousins, Sophia was the youngest and the most hyper. You cheered her on with her grandparents and Tom. She was about to win the race and you were more excited than her. Tommy wanted to be there to witness her first victory but he settled down for seeing it on the phone. However, she stumbled on some rocks that were on the trail and she fell hard.

“Oh my god! Go to her, (Y/N).” Tom’s voice broke you out of your horrified trance and you went in to autopilot. When you reached near her, you gave the phone to someone behind you and kneeled in front of your daughter. She was crying really loudly and her arms was bent to an odd angle. Cuddling her in your arms, you picked her up and went towards your car. “What is happening? Mum, tell me!”

“I think Sophie’s arm is broken. (Y/N) is taking her to the hospital right now. I will keep you updated.” Nikki was moving quickly towards her car while she gripped the phone in her hands.

“Mum, I want to talk to my daughter right now.” He didn’t even realise that he was pacing and his hair was all messed up because he ran his hands through it several times.

“Tommy, I will keep you updated. Right now, she is a lot of pain and she is scared.”

“Please keep me informed.” This was one of the worst moment in his life because he wasn’t there for his girls. You both needed him right now and he wasn’t there. He decided then and there that he was going back to London.

Meanwhile, you reached the hospital with Sophia wailing in your arms and Sam driving like a cray man. You were sure that he would have multiple speeding tickets waiting for him when he gets home. The E.R was busy at this time of the day and you just laid your daughter on one of the beds while Nikki went to go get a doctor.

“Honey, it’s going to be okay. Please be strong, baby girl.” There were tears in your eyes as your daughter’s face turned red with all the crying and screaming. The little girl was in too much pain.

“Daddy, plea- please. Hurts a lot.” Hiccuping in the middle of the sentence, you looked at your brother in law helplessly. She wanted Tom and he wasn’t here right now.

“We will talk to daddy after the nice doctor here checks you out, baby.” She wouldn’t let anyone near her or her arm and kept asking for her father, She was inconsolable.

Sitting in front of the bed, the doctor asked, “Hi, I am Dr Ana. What happened to this little bunny here?”

“She, uh, she fell during the race and I think she broke her arm.” You stood on the foot of the bed as you shakily explained the whole situation. “Soph, let her check your boo boo please.”

“Daddy, please.”

“Okay, let me call your dad and you can talk to him.” Nikki interjected when she saw that the conversation was not reaching any end point.

“Okay.” You wiped her snot with your sleeves as she clutched her broken arm in pain.

“Tom, talk to Sophia. She is not letting the doctors treat her.” Putting the phone on speaker, Tom’s voice filtered through the phone.

“Hey bubs. You need to let the doctor check you and make the boo boo alright.” His soothing voice brought tears to your eyes as you wanted nothing more than to hold his hand right now.

“It hurts. Back please?”

“I am coming back right now so you need to let the doctor check your arm. I will be there in no time.”

“Okay.” The moment the doctor started examining her arm, you took the phone from your mother in law.

“It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to come back.” You sniffled a little as the doctor got a portable x-ray to check up on Sophia’s arm. She held on to your hand tightly as even the little movement hurt her.

“I am. In fact, my flight is already confirmed. I will be there in four hours, tops.”

Tom declined the call as his manager called him downstairs. Getting in to the car, he just prayed to God that his little girl would be okay. He swore mentally that he would never let Sophia run. He should have been there and he was going to never leave his family’s side ever again.

“I have given her some pain meds for her pain so she should be settling down now.” Sophia was moved to a pediatric room and now she was calming down a little bit. “What color cast do you want, Miss Holland?”

“Pink.” She stated as a matter of fact and you lightly laughed. Nikki and Sam were in the room as well and they were staying till Tom got here. The pain medication slowly started working and Soph drifted off to sleep with Mr Fluffs in her arms.

“We are going to get coffee and then we can get you a change of clothes. Do you want something else?” Whispering, Nikki placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I am fine. I just need the clothes and can you please bring some for Tom as well. I know he would come straight here from the airport.”

“Okay, darling. Take care and call us if something happens.”

“Okay, thank you.” You put your head on the bed and drifted off to sleep.

Tom entered the hospital and the receptionist guided him towards Sophia’s room. Quietly steeping in there, he saw his two girls sleeping. Sophia looked so tiny in that patient bed and he never wanted to see her there. When he got close, he saw dried tears on his little girl’s cheek and his heart broke when he thought about the pain that she was in. The pink cast was set on her right arm and he want to her side and gently kissed it.

“I am so sorry baby, I wasn’t here. I won’t ever leave you again, I promise.”

“You are back.” The commotion in the room woke you up and you saw your husband right in front of you.

“Just got in.” Tom’s eyes never left the tiny human being laying underneath the sheets. “(Y/N), she is never running again.”

“Honey, children get hurt all the time. She will recover in no time.”

“But-”

“Dadda!” Your baby jumped in to his arms before any of you realised what was happening. Her cast bumped on to the iron rod of the bed and she let out a blood curling scream.

“Call the doctor. It’s okay, bubs. You are going to be okay.” Kissing her cast, he tried to calm down the crying toddler. Meantime, you went to call Dr Anna so that she could check Sophia’s arm.

“It is all fine. You just need to be really careful with that arm. We are going to keep her here for one day and then you both can take your little girl home.”

You took Sophia from your husband and told him to go change in to comfortable clothes. When he came back, you both settled on the small bed and your daughter told him all about the injury and the pain. You both signed her pink cast and Tom also drew some rainbows and birds on it. Soon, it was time for her to take her medicines and you had to bribe her with chocolates, She always got her way.

“I love you, baby. Go to sleep now.” He wrapped the blanket around her and switched off all the lights.

“Love you. Be here?”

“Yes, I will be here darling. Now, sleep.” Sophia soon drifted off to sleep and Tom sat beside you on the couch.

“I missed you, Tommy.”

“I missed you too and I am never leaving you both for this long. Now, let’s go to sleep. It has been a tiring day.” Pecking him on the lips, you both laid down and just basked in each other’s warmth. Contented, you drifted off to sleep with your husband and child in the same room. Everything was going to be okay.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: I loved to write about Tom Holland as a family man. Tell me how you guys feel about it and I am open to requests regarding dad Tom. If you want to be added to my tag list, comment down below.

Like, comment and reblog.

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[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

hey, i was wondering if you could do a lupin x daughter!reader headcanon when he’s a pressosor in the readers 3rd year. maybe she’s friends with the golden trio and dating draco and lupin tries to attack her on the full moon when they find out ab sirius and peter pettigrew and it just progresses throughout lupin being protective if reader joins the order and maybe lupin dies saving reader in the battle of hogwarts? also please some sirius x reader moments where sirius is like a protective uncle !!

(also would you mind adding me to your taglist??)

Remus with a daughter

Best dad ever

Literally

Kindest man to you.

Absolutely adores you and makes sure you're safe

It's just the two of you though, your mother passed during childbirth

Remus blames himself but the truth was your mom just was so sick and having a child was too much

It breaks Remus' soul when he had to separate from you for the full moon so he wouldn't hurt you

It didn't help that the two parents who usually watched you while Remus was going through this were killed when you and Harry were a year old.

Sirius wanted to confront Peter but he didn't because his godchildren needed him then and there.

Sirius raised Harry alongside you and the two of you were honestly like siblings.

You called Remus "Papa" and he called you "Pup" or "Puppy"

Sirius was "Uncle Padfoot"

You two grew up in the wizarding world and stuck together

When you were finally able to go to Hogwarts it was exciting for you.

Harry met Ron and you met someone yourself

A blonde boy with silver eyes.

You barely noticed him but he certainly took notice of you.

He started teasing you in the halls when he saw you, you taking any insult he threw at you with a grain of salt

Especially once you were sorted into Gryffindor

Then came one insult about your dad

Harry had to separate you from potentially killing him.

You gradually began to dislike him more and more.

Harry began to really hate him once quidditch started too

Like strangulation was almost used

Then weird things started happening throughout Hogwarts.

Absolute bonkers shit happening around you and then

TROLL IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN DUNGEON

One thing led to another and Slytherin's house ended up having to stay with Gryffindor

You made tea to hold you over

Earl gray

And because you don't like being mad with people you made some for Draco

You sat at a table and put the mug next to him.

"What the hell is this?" Draco asked.

"Earl grey. To calm the nerves. Asshole." You said sharply.

He took it and was surprised that it didn't taste terrible

"... You know how to make tea?" He asked

"It's not hard... Plus my dad's an absolute addict to the stuff." You said.

Draco looked at you.

"Why did you bring me this?" He asked.

"I don't like being mad with people and I think we need to deal with whatever hatred you have formed against me." You said.

"I don't hate you." Draco muttered.

You rose a brow.

"You don't?" You asked.

"No. I don't." He said.

"... So why the hostility then?" You asked.

"You're a Gryffindor. And aren't you a half blood?" He asked.

"No my mum was a wizard too, you're striking out here" you said.

"was?" Draco asked.

You shifted. "Mum died after I was born... She was sick." You muttered.

Now Draco felt like an asshole.

He eased up on his constant insults but if any one else teased you he'd hex them later

Your relationship with him now was very strange

Like he was a jerk but not as big of a jerk.

Then came the end of the year.

You walked up to him and gave him your address, telling him to write to him if he felt like it

He didn't.

At first.

Then one day he found himself pacing his room debating an opening line.

Then one day when you were getting the mail from your owl you found a fancy letter.

It looked so official and it was addressed to you.

Then you saw the "M" on the side of the envelope and blinked.

Draco actually wrote to you.

You walked back into the house, this perplexed look on your face.

"Something wrong Pup?" Remus asked.

"Hmm? No... No just... Something weird is all." You muttered.

"Who's that from?" Harry asked.

"Draco." You said earning a look from him.

So you read it when you were alone and you were shocked

Like he could write

Even though this was a simple "hi how are you?" It was still so well written you felt strangely connected

You began to understand the whole romanticized idea behind letters

You and him started writing back and forth and you actually found yourself liking him.

Like. Like liking him.

Remus could tell.

You had this smile on your face every time you got a letter

Then came a very strange letter

You opened it at the breakfast table and it was a warning

"Something strange is going to happen at Hogwarts, warn Harry."

You looked up and frowned.

"Harry." You said.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Draco sent something weird... He said something's going on at Hogwarts and to warn you." You said.

"He cares what happens to me?" Harry asked.

"apparently. And he seems pretty serious about this." You said making Remus and Sirius exchange a look.

The two of you went back to school with caution

Draco was always with you, acting strangely paranoid.

Then the chamber of secrets opened

And Draco wrote to Remus himself, practically begging him "TAKE. HER. HOME."

Remus almost did but he couldn't just disrupt your life because he was anxious.

Draco never left your side, he kept close to you and the trio was noticing it

When they asked him "why are you suddenly being nice to us" he gave an answer that made you fall harder.

"Honestly, Y/n has become my best friend and I don't want to lose her by pissing her off"

So the group just kind of accepted him

Oh he'd still make comments

And Harry still bickered with him

But it was like Draco was like a brother to the group

Yeah he'd talk shit

But he obviously cared.

Things were happening around campus making Draco very paranoid that something was going to happen to you

You kept assuring him that you were being careful but he still NEVER left you or Hermione’s side

Well until the night something actually happened

You and Hermione were adamant about researching whatever was causing all of this

You spent a late night in the library with her when you arrived at an answer. 

“Basilisk!” You both gasped in unison before you heard something fall behind you. 

You had a gut feeling that it was the basilisk

“Run, I’ll stall as long as I can.” You told her

“What-- Y/n I’m not--” “Hermione, someone has to tell a teacher, that someone is you now GO!” You yelled before she nodded. 

She handed you a mirror and bolted as you got up, walking and being sure to make a lot of noise to deter the snake. 

And then you saw those eyes and everything went black

You were found a few minutes later, Hermione getting the news to Mcgonagall 

Draco was pissed.

Because he knew exactly who was behind this.

And they had a deal actually. 

A deal that was “as long as none of my friends get involved, do what you please” with Lucius

Well Lucius did not account for Draco actually liking the golden trio and you.

He couldn’t voice the problem but when Lucius came with the ministry to handle the Basilisk, the trio noticed a strange tension

Students were temporarily sent home while the problem was being handled. 

Well the ones that weren’t petrified. 

Sirius picked up Harry but Remus stayed with you in the wing

When students finally were able to return you were finally okay. 

Draco walked into the Great Hall and saw you, practically tackling you to the floor. 

The summer was odd, Draco actually spending it with (wait for it) the Weasley’s 

Harry and you both spent the first three weeks of summer with them, befriending the two legendary pranksters in the process

whilst also getting closer to Draco

Things definitely changed between the two of you

in a good way but something changed

It was the night before you were going back home and you couldn’t sleep.

You walked downstairs and sat in the doorway, looking at the stars

Draco had the same idea, sitting next to you with a blanket. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” you asked. 

“Nope.” He muttered. 

You seemed fixated on the moon.

Very fixated on it.

It was full and it seemed to almost... Make you sad?

“I wonder what dad is doing.” You muttered. 

“Well it’s like two in the morning so my guess is sleep.” Draco joked.

You tensed up and he noticed. 

“What?” Draco asked.

But then it’s like he got it on his own, figuring out what you weren’t saying.

“...Remus is a werewolf?” He asked.

You looked over shocked 

“How did--” “I just figured it out.” He said. 

You sighed turning back to the sky. 

“No one can know.” You said.

“No one will know Y/n, you have my word.” Draco said softly.

You looked at him and he moved his arm as if to say “Join me under this blanket” and you scooched closer

When your dad came to pick you up that morning he found you asleep against Draco in the doorway

He kneeled and tapped your cheek.

You yawned, realizing that it was Remus and hugged him 

Harry was staying, it was just you leaving 

Draco wrote to you as much as possible

Something changed though, the morning Remus dropped you off at the station

Remus got on the train with you

You blinked.

“Dad... I know we’re close but this is the first day of kindergarten all over again.” You said

“...Pup I’m a professor this year.” He snorted. 

Harry, who just got on the train with the Weasleys paused. 

“WHAT?”

“You’re totally riding with us.” You said excitedly

So there you were in cart with your dad, Harry, Draco, waiting for Hermione and Ron who were chasing Hermione’s cat

Draco kept giving you this cute little smile. 

You two never said anything to each other but you still exchanged this smile. 

Remus of course noticed this but said nothing 

Ron and Hermione finally showed up 

“Crookshanks did not--” “YES IT DID!” 

You all looked over 

“What’s going on?” You asked

“Ron’s rat ran off!” Hermione said

“More like your cat ate him!” Ron fired back.

“What does your pet look like so we can find him?” Remus asked

“He’s a brown rat.” “He took off the second we got close to the cart.” Hermione explained.

That raised an alarm in Remus’s brain. 

“...Ron how old is your rat?” Remus asked.

“Oh he’s old. Like twelve years old.” Ron said. 

Remus stood up and drew his wand

“Dad?” You asked. 

“Lock this door the second I leave. If you find the rat one of you come and find me.” 

You guys didn’t find the rat, however there was this strange new tension on campus.

There were a few aurors walking around, one of which was walking you and Harry to classes

That auror was (wait for this one) Sirius 

People of course were speculating that 

A: your father was a professor 

and B: The Sirius Black was escorting you out of all people around the school

See, the weird thing was that four different people were walking Harry to class.

Neither you or Harry were fully alone. 

But that wasn’t the only weird thing going on.

You and Mcgonagall seemed to be discussing something at every free moment

Two weeks into school you seemed to be taking some sort of advanced skill

Don’t get me started on the group noticing you chewing something for a solid month 

Ministry members were also talking to you

not even Harry knew what was going on

Then came the trip to Hogsmeade

You all went and for the most part it was fun

 until Harry got the bright idea to eavesdrop on a conversation

He found out everything.

Peter, the betrayal, why staff was acting odd. 

all of it. 

He didn’t say anything either, he walked out of the three broomsticks, walked over to the shrieking shack and threw up

You listened to him sob and that night was hard

Draco sat at the foot of your bed while you sighed. 

“He’s going to be okay Y/n, he has us.” He reminded. 

“I know... But still... Jesus... I can’t imagine what must be going through his head” You breathed. 

Draco put a soothing hand on your leg and you smiled 

“I’m always here Y/n... Always.” he said softly 

You both exchanged this look.

Something in you just leaned forward and he kissed you.

then you heard a small pattering noise... like rat feet

You both split apart and you grabbed your wands

“MCGONAGALL!” you yelled.

She ran in and noticed the alarm on both Draco’s face and then heard the noise.

She found the rat but it was the wrong rat.

“Maybe it is best that you sleep out in the common room like mister potter. Draco you should go back to your--” “While that killer is roaming campus, I am not leaving my best friend alone.” He said. 

Mcgonagall sighed, but understood his worry before it registered that he knew.

“You know about Pettigrew?” she asked. 

“My father doesn’t keep me completely out of the loop professor.” Draco answered

She sighed. 

but she agreed to let him stay as long as he wasn’t completely alone with you.

You two didn’t bring up the kiss at all. 

But things certainly got weirder between you two.

Both of you would get extremely flustered if you even looked in the same direction

then came the night you snuck out.

it was a full moon and you were staying in Hermione’s room due to the fact that the guys snored so fucking loud.

You snuck out, tip toeing past the sleeping boys and meeting Sirius outside of the common room.

“Are you sure you want to help?” Sirius asked quietly.

“I’m sure.” You nodded before both of you took off. 

What you didn’t realize was that Hermione followed you.

Along with the guys.

You slid down the whomping willow, walking into a room with Sirius where he gave you a talk of “be careful, avoid being in direct line of his vision and stay safe.” 

The group was hearing all of this, along with the pained groans of someone. 

“He’s turning.” Sirius noticed. 

“Did he drink his potion?” you asked. 

Sirius noticed the potion’s contents on the floor. 

“Shit.” You both said in unison before hearing the snarling

“Y/n, change, now!” Sirius said before taking on his dog form.

You took on an Animagus form.  

It was a hawk, a loud screech emerging from you as you took flight

The group watched you and Sirius basically herd Remus into a room from a door crack.

“She’s an animagus?” Ron whispered. 

“From the looks of it, yeah.” Harry muttered. 

“Remus is a werewolf?” Ron asked

“No shit sherlock.” Draco muttered. 

Then Remus had an outburst, a rat scurrying by his feet.

Sirius immediately took his human form and sprinted after it, leaving you alone with your father. 

The rat stopped at Hermione’s feet that was blocking the way out.

The group was caught. 

“What in the blazes are you doing here!?” he asked. 

Remus lunged at you, you dodging the attack

He snarled and you tried to stand your ground

“I--” Harry picked up the rat and frowned.

Remus slammed you against the wall before you took your human form

“dad, it’s me--”

Sirius used the reversal spell and sure enough it was Peter.

“You son of a--” 

Then everyone heard a scream.

Your scream.

Sirius dropped everything, sprinted back in the room before seeing you with a bite mark on your shoulder

“HARRY GET Y/N TO THE INFIRMARY NOW!”

So the group now was not only holding a wand to a fugitive, they also had a potentially dying girl with them

Draco was sprinting as fast as humanly possible with you in his arms

The rest of the group was trying to get Pettigrew to the ministry 

Sirius was trying to keep your dad from going ballistic

Two hours later you were in a bed passed out with Draco pacing

Pettigrew fucking escaped and the ministry was high tailing it after him

You, thank god, weren’t a werewolf but you were unconscious

no one could pry Draco away from you.

You unconscious for about five days

Remus was a wreck

When you woke up Draco and Remus were both asleep at the foot of the bed

You shifted and Draco’s head shot up.

“Professor she’s awake” Draco said 

Remus looked at you with tears almost bombarding his face.

“Y/n, I’m so sorr--” “Dad it’s okay. I knew what I was getting into, I almost expected it.” you stated.

Remus was still very hesitant to even look at you

Summer was spent at the Weasleys, Draco again being present for it.

neither of you still talked about the kiss and it was driving both of you crazy

You both were 10x more jumpier around each other

Draco was so scared he was losing you as a friend 

So Fred gave him some advice because he knew you liked him.

“dude. Just hit on her. Let her know you’re still interested-- fucking show that you care!” Fred said. 

“But what if it fails--” “It won’t!” 

So Draco started being smooth as hell

You were reaching for a glass and he stood so close to you and grabbed it for you

You almost dropped the glass the second it was in your grasp

You’d be so focused on something, look over and see Draco staring and literally fuck it up within seconds. 

He lends you his jacket, all the time

You love it but are too chicken to admit that you do though

And then came the tournament

Draco left about three days before the tournament

He left you his jacket though

but you all ended up going 

As you were walking to the portkey Cedric seemed to have his sights set on you

Fred and George had to literally stand between you because they did NOT want Cedric making moves 

Course, all the boy was interested in was friendship though and you knew that because you knew he liked Cho

You thought that Draco wasn’t going to be there but you were pleasantly surprised.

Well, until you saw his father

and you realized what jacket you were wearing in front of him

You were a fumbling mess, stuttering over your words

However Lucius is a civil man and assured you it was fine (while also giving a look to Draco)

Let’s just say Lucius wasn’t exactly thrilled with his son’s choice

You were practically shaking when you were in your seat and eventually just sat near concessions.

Cedric found you and calmed you down, you thanking him

For the most part you enjoyed the game after you calmed down

You had to listen to Ron’s big speech on Krum afterwards though and you were rolling your eyes

Draco met you guys back in the tent

“Y/n, are you alright? I noticed you looked really pale when you left.” He asked

“Your father is terrifying.” You said before hearing what you thought was a scream of celebration

You took a long sip of water before Arthur ran in. 

“Everyone, grab your things, we need to leave.” He said

“What’s going on?” You asked 

The sense of alarm on Arthur’s face made everyone worried. 

Draco immediately pulled you close to him, neither of you letting go when you got to safety.

“Are you alright?” Cedric asked.

Draco immediately seemed jealous

“I’m okay Ced, don’t worry. I’m more worried for Harry.” You muttered looking over at the boy.

“Wait... Draco, where’s your dad?” Hermione asked.

He frowned, looking around the camp grounds to see no trace of his father. 

“....Don’t tell me he’s--” “I don’t know. He stopped keeping me in the loop after our second year.” He muttered.

“....Why?” You asked. 

Draco seemed so tense because of that one little question.

“I think he had something to do with the chamber of secrets.” Draco said

“What?” The group asked in unison.

“he carried around this black journal, I don’t know if you remember that girl from Slytherin, Pansy? We’re friends with her family and I think he snuck it into her luggage or something. Either way when the ministry found her she was unconscious and the journal was on the ground next to her.” Draco explained

Everyone was shocked. 

“Your father almost killed a student!?” Ron whisper shouted

“I didn’t know, it wasn’t until last year that I started piecing shit together man!” Draco whispered

“Are you insane-- you have to be” “Ron calm down” Hermione whispered

“He almost got someone killed!” Ron said

“Draco is not his father!” You snapped. 

Everyone was surprised by your reaction, especially Draco

You sighed and looked away, looking at the scene in front of you 

That’s when a flash of green light practically blinded you and there it was

the dark mark

Draco grabbed your hand, staring at it with a frown. 

“Do you think he’s--” “I don’t know.” Draco whispered

You all went back to the Burrow, Molly mortified that her adoptive sons  (and daughter) went through that

Remus was also there, for the first time in months he hugged you. 

“I thought the worst.” He muttered.

“I’m okay papa.” You whispered.

You all were cautious when you went back to school

Cedric was happy you were okay, Cho was too

Cedric was also talking to you more, mainly because you had crossed paths multiple times at campus.

Believe or not, you were actually really good friends.

Draco still was having no luck in asking you out

Fred and George witnessed him nearly lose his mind during the first few hours of school because you touched his hand

He went from smooth to a nervous wreck.

Then the introduction dinner started

And everything was odd.

You watched the Beauxbatons dance with ease

You watched Durmstrang march forward

You listened to Ron’s squeal when he saw Viktor Krum

And then a Durmstrang boy seemed to immediately take a liking to you

Which made Draco want to stab him

You seemed completely oblivious to the guy’s flirting though

You all found out about the goblet of fire

Draco actually was considering joining the competition but you seemed to have a negative reaction to it.

Then they announced the age restriction on it and everyone but you seemed to hate the idea of that.

Then Harry ended up getting roped into it and you were arguing 24/7 with the ministry workers on why he was involved 

Then mad eye moody assured you that he’d be fine. 

Mad eye moody freaked you out.

Seriously, he seemed awfully fixated on you and Harry

Draco hated seeing you with that Durmstrang boy.

Seriously.

He was always there, smiling at you, laughing at something you said.

Draco was over all in a sour mood when he was around

You didn’t mind Nikolai but you needed a break so you found yourself sitting at the lake

A blonde French girl sat next to you

It was Fleur

she didn’t always like being in the center of attention and needed a break

So the two of you became close friends

She taught you French, you taught her English

You and her became very close, Draco taking notice of your friend

not in a romantic way. Actually, she noticed his interest was not with her

No, she knew he was in love with you just by the way he looked at you

“So how long have you and Draco been... seeing each other?” Fleur asked.

“Oh we aren’t... Dating.” You muttered, throwing a pebble into the water

“Really? He looks at you as if he was in love, I just figured--” “He doesn’t--... Does he?” You asked.

“Oh my goodness does he, he seems completely head over heels.” She said.

So then you started thinking about this more and more. 

something was clearly bugging you and Draco could tell

It was that damn dance class

Draco and you were paired up and you seemed so distracted.

“Y/n?” Draco asked.

“Hmm? Oh sorry.” You muttered.

“Are you alright?” He asked, the glint of concern in his eyes

“Yeah, I’m fine...” you said

You two were dancing great actually, smiling and laughing before you noticed it

the loving look that Fleur was talking about

“Draco I need you to be 100% honest with me.” you began

he nodded

“Do you love me?” you asked. 

Draco froze as did Fred and George who were listening. 

Draco swallowed hard. 

“I-I” He stuttered. 

“Draco?” You asked.

“...Yes.” he answered

You didn’t hesitate in kissing him

You simply yanked his tie, pulling him to you and you just...

kissed him

He kind of locked in place for a minute and Fred groaned. 

“KISS HER YOU GIT!” George said.

finally his shock subsided and he put his arms around your waist. 

he kissed you back and boom

you two were dating

You both were so in love and it was nice for the friend group to see you so happy. 

You two were inseparable and of course Fred and George took full credit

The second challenge came along

You were all sitting on the docks when you noticed missing people that didn’t make sense

Cho wasn’t present for her own boyfriend

Ron wasn’t there either

and neither was Gabrielle.

You frowned, walking over to her 

“Fleur, where’s Gabi?” You asked. 

“She’s not with the girls?” She asked. 

You shook your head and she frowned.

“Fleur, what was this challenge?” You asked. 

“...retrieving... something...” she said before both of you realized what was going on.

“Y/n?” Draco asked. 

Fleur’s pale face combined with your shocked expression concerned him

“Love what’s wrong?” He asked. 

“They’re down there.” you whispered. 

Draco frowned. 

“....Are you sure?” he asked.

“Hermione would never miss this.” you muttered.

The contestants had to line up and you frowned, watching them all jump in

You noticed Neville give Harry Gillyweed 

You sat and waited, seeing Krum come up first with Hermione.

You ran over, seeing her cough .

“Are you alright?” you asked. 

“I’m fine, have you seen Ronald?” she asked. 

“He wasn’t down there?” you asked. 

“I...Don’t know, I couldn’t see.” She said.

Cedric came up with Cho and you looked over. 

Finally, Harry came up with Ron

You were relieved when they showed up

But anxiety filled you back up when Fleur came back empty handed.

“The mermaids, I-I couldn’t get her back--” 

You looked over 

“Neville, hand me the rest of the Gillyweed.” you said 

He handed it to you and you took off your shirt. 

“Y/n, what the hell are you doing!?” Draco asked. 

“Saving my friend..” you said before jumping into the water

Draco nearly went in after you but Moody stopped him.

“If she’s in danger, we’ll know.” He said

Soon, you popped out of the water with Gabrielle and Fleur sprinted over.

You were cold, naturally

Draco was just happy to have you back, wrapping you in a towel.

the ministry was pissed with your involvement now, but because you were a Hogwarts student points were given to Cedric and Harry.

Durmstrang insisted that that was bullshit and that points should've been docked but uh...

Dumbledore rlly said "No fucks given"

So that good old Yule ball.

You didn't really plan on going but Ginny AND Hermione insisted.

As far as Draco knew, he was aware it wasn't your scene but didn't get the memo that his friends were dragging his girlfriend to the dance.

His plan was to show up for looks, raid the cookies, leave, sneak to you and just spend time with you.

So imagine that boy's shock watching you walk Hermione down the stairs looking beautiful.

He just was there really to make his parents happy by keeping up appearances, but now that you were there it was a reason to stay.

You and him couldn't take your eyes off each other.

You did dip out pretty quick once things got loud but you also raided the snacks, sitting on the steps.

You laughed at some silly little joke he told you.

He smiled, brushing the hair out of your eyes

"Draco..." You said.

"Hmm?" He hummed.

"do you ever consider a future... With me?" you asked.

He smiled, kissing your knuckles.

"All the time my love." He replied.

"Like what?" you asked.

"Well I know that I want us to live in a nice house... And I'd like a dog." he said.

You laughed, making him raise a brow

"My uncle is a dog, my father is pretty damn close to one, aren't you aggravated with all the canines?" you asked, making him smile.

"I've always found basset hounds to be adorable, sue me." He said.

You laughed harder.

"What is with you?" he asked.

"It's hard to imagine you with a dog like-like a basset hound! A great Dane, maybe but a small little basset hound is amusing!" You said.

He shook his head with a smile.

"One day I hope that we grow old together... Maybe have children if it doesn't make you uncomfortable... Our son's name would be Charles... Our daughter would be named Violet." He finally said.

You blinked, feeling this beautifully intense emotion of love.

"Draco I love you." You said.

He smiled, kissing you. "I love you too."

And you almost kissed again until you heard shouting from Ron and then Hermione.

"I have to handle these morons, I'm sorry." You told him.

"Go. I'll see if I can talk sense into Ron." He nodded.

So the night ended with you comforting Hermione and Draco bitching at Ron for not seeing what was SO CLEARLY IN FRONT OF HIM.

The final trial began, Ron of course having tension with Hermione

You had this bad feeling.

Draco could tell too.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked.

"I just... It feels off. Something about this. It feels off." You said.

And then it began.

As players returned back to the start you started asking questions.

And then Fleur said something.

"When I turned a corner, I swear I could hear a rat!"

Your heart dropped and you BOLTED to the ministry workers, BEGGING them to pull the rest of the students out.

Their exact words were "We can't just do that based on a 'paranoid whim'."

And then it happened.

Harry and Cedric came back.

Only one of them wasn't alive.

You sprinted down to them, pulling Cedric's chest to your ear, praying you heard something.

The silence in his chest was so loud.

You let out this pained cry that alerted the crowd something was wrong.

You and Harry were both dragged back to Moody's office

You had this feeling again.

Uneasy, like something was wrong.

As Moody talked, you kept noticing the weird tongue thing he was doing.

As he revealed more and more... It made sense.

"You put Harry's name in the Goblet of fire!" You realized, Harry looking over shocked at your accusation.

He was searching frantically for something.

You didn't even dare to reach for your wand.

You knew he'd kill you in a instant

"For a girl so caught up in a ridiculous romance, you catch on quick, Lupin." He said.

"Harry won because I made it so. He ended up in that graveyard because it was meant to be so and now the deed is done." He told you, leaning close to your face.

He walked to the cabinet looking at you and Harry.

"Imagine the reward I'd get for finally silencing the great Potter. The girl... Well the girl would just be a plus." He chuckled, whipping out his wand.

"EXPELLIAMUS!" was shouted.

You and Harry backed to the wall, hearts pounding.

"Are you alright?" you asked him.

He nodded "You?" He asked.

"Yeah." You breathed.

Dumbledore, Mcgonagall and Snape all joined you, Snape pouring something in Moody's mouth.

The truth was revealed.

Moody was actually not Moody, in fact, he was Barty Crouch Jr.

And the real Moody was what was in the mysterious chest he kept in the office.

Once you and Harry were released, you both went to the common room where the group was waiting.

You hugged Draco.

You explained everything, deeply unsettling the group.

"do you know what this means?" Ron asked.

You watched the fire in the fireplace with a blank stare

"War."

The banners of Cedric went up.

Harry felt too much guilt keeping the prize money.

So he gave it to Fred and George for their business.

You seemed very depressed over the summer

You hardly left your room.

Then something happened.

Draco showed up at your house in the middle of the night.

"What in Merlin's beard are you doing here, it's four in the morning?" Remus asked.

"I need a place to stay sir." He said.

a family meeting was called.

Naturally everyone was half awake until Draco explained what was going on.

Not only did Draco confirm your suspicions of his father being a death eater. He was allowing Voldemort to stay with them.

Draco saw him enter, apparently said he was going for a walk and then just... Took off.

Remus, while reluctant to let his daughter's boyfriend to stay in the same house as them, allowed it.

You all told the Weasleys of course

Once the school year began, Sirius made a attempt to alert the ministry of "hi, guess what, the guy we all feared would come back is in fact back... And staying at the Malfoy manor"

This was waved off.

Remus tried.

waved off.

ARTHUR TRIED

waved off.

Once you got to school, something odd was going on.

there was a ministry worker there

As a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher

and everyone was claiming that Cedric's death was a accident.

This. Made. You. Livid.

You and Harry were both pissed that actual magic was no longer being practiced

"Don't you think we should actually PRACTICE the magic, especially now that 'You know who' is back?" you asked.

"He. Is. not. back."

You glared.

"You're fucking joking right?" You asked.

By this point you were UNBELIEVABLY fed up with everything.

Weeks of refusing to acknowledge the death of Cedric or the many warnings of a war brewing made you no longer care.

"You are saying this in a class room with two children who has been attacked multiple times by his followers-" "Miss Lupin, be quiet please." "one of which SHOULD'VE died, his parents, DID die." Miss Lupin, sit. Down." "Another student's parents were tortured to a point where they can't even speak and he's aware of what's really going on!" "Miss Lupin I will not be spoken to like this-" "You might be terrified of even acknowledging what is happening, but it won't stop the fact that it is." " Miss Lupin-" "How in the hell do you think Cedric ended up dead!?" "WHAT HAPPENED TO CEDRIC WAS AN ACCIDENT!" "BULLSHIT!"

You of course got detention.

And that's when you discovered how truly crazy this woman was.

When you came back, you immediately told Mcgonagall what she did.

She did what protocol suggested.

She asked the ministry to remove her.

and basically got a "no❤️"

Dumbledore was AWOL and it was clear that this was going to be a LONG year.

Rules kept being added, lessons were being ignored

So you and Harry started the next "Dumbledore's army."

You used this 'room of requirement' a student showed you.

She was sweet actually

kind of on the hippy side but you liked her.

Draco and you both felt so tired of this woman.

Draco knew that if he just asked his parents they might do something.

But probably at a high cost.

You told him not to do anything.

"Why? Y/n, you've been injured by this woman. Harry's been injured. We've contacted everyone we know in the ministry, nothing's been DONE!" he asked.

"I have full confidence in Dumbledore." You said simply.

He didn't get that one at all but when along with it anyway.

FINALLY it reached a new point.

You were pissed, Cho revealed where the Room of Requirement was.

So you finally wrote to your dad.

"Dad. I might not finish school. Sincerely, your loving daughter."

Fred and George noticed your anger and decided to help you direct it somewhere.

They showed you a plan.

You agreed and explained it to Draco.

He was sad you wouldn't be graduating with him.

But he handed you a matchbox, kissed your head and told you to go to town.

and so you did

You set off fireworks with them and Draco smiled.

Once the three of you finished the handiwork you watched it all explode together.

"Regret any of this?" Fred asked.

You smiled at the boy.

"Never Freddie."

And so you left Hogwarts, the three of you opening up the shop.

Remus wasn't too happy with your... Unethical way of handling Umbridge.

But he was proud.

Then came a day when Bill came into the shop saying he met someone.

He would mention little things about this charming blonde girl he met

apparently English wasn't her first language so she spoke with an accent.

When you asked the name you nearly died

it was Fleur!

Your dad came in the shop one day asking all of you to close early and that it was an emergency.

you all went with him, you going to a house you had only stayed in once in your life, shortly after James and Lily died.

It was Sirius' parents' house.

The real moody was there, as were all of the Weasleys and Draco.

then there was this girl with pink hair.

You'd notice the look your dad would give her, making you realize he liked her.

You all joined the Order that night and would report back to them pretty regularly.

Then came a meeting where Draco came back.

He and Remus had been discussing something.

And Draco agreed to something

You were working in the shop one day

Draco came in and he said he had to speak with you

You sat there and listened to him

"The Order thinks we need a spy." He said

"What is Moody cooking up over there?" you asked.

"The only one with an opening is me Y/n." He said

You froze.

"No. No, tell me you didn't-"

"as far as my family knows, me and you have broken up-"

"Draco that is too dangerous, why the fuck would you ever agree to do something like this?" You asked.

"Because I want a future with you Y/n... And this is a war we have to fight." He said.

You accepted the situation but hated all of this.

And then Harry had a vision.

Something was wrong, Arthur was in danger

So you all went to the Ministry

Turns out he was right.

You ended up saving Arthur's life.

Then there was another vision

Sirius was in danger.

So you all went.

This was one of the worst decisions to make

You all went, finding out why Death eaters were there

A prophecy

you guys beat them to the punch however...

Which led to death eaters running after all of you

You all ended up in a battle, your dad, Tonks and Sirius coming to you all.

You fought as strong as you could, actually packing a real punch

and then it happened.

You all thought you were in the clear

"AVADA KADAVRA!"

Sirius stumbled back.

Your eyes widened as you bolted away from Ginny and Remus held Harry as he screamed

Then Voldemort came

you felt true terror

Then....

Dumbledore resurfaced

The Death Eaters took off

You all grieved the loss of Sirius.

You were right there... You should've done... Something.

Draco finally managed to sneak off and tell you that something WORSE was brewing

An attack on Dumbledore

So you all warned him

He didn't have much of a reaction to finding this out, which didn't completely shock you, the man was one of the most powerful wizards , he had a lot of enemies

To Voldemort, that was what was standing in his way.

You all started training more, though you still felt this depression due to the inability to see Draco or the inability to be at Hogwarts. \

However your father's new girlfriend always seemed to check on you.

You loved her, she had this sense of humor you just seemed to vibe with

Your dad referred to you two as his girls

finally one day Remus came by the shop.

He was rambling a lot about something changing and fiddling with something in his pocket

"Dad." you sighed

"And if you have any problems with Nymphadora-"

"Dad."

"I really want to hear them because your opinion matters-"

"You're proposing to her, aren't you?" You asked.

He paused but nodded.

"I'm so happy for you two dad." You said, sincerely.

He smiled and hugged you "Thank you pup"

So the two got married, you and Harry being the witnesses to it

Not long after the wedding though, Tonks kept getting sick

Remus was TERRIFIED he did something

You however noticed a series of patterns

Foods that Tonks used to love she now hated, she craved some off putting things and then it hit you

You pulled her into another room

"You're pregnant." You told her

"No, no I can't be- Oh my god I'm pregnant."

"you're WHAT!?" Remus asked, walking in at precisely the wrong time

"Uh.." "Sur...prise?" you said confused.

Your dad handled it real weird.

He was panicked at first

BABY PROOFED EVERYTHING around the Order

then he sat down with a calculator and was pricing things just saying "Oh god."

then he finally said he was happy

You started getting this feeling though

this feeling of being watched

Draco was visiting less and less and you figured maybe that's why you felt weird.

Then something happened.

Harry and Draco came back to the Order one day, both looking sick to their stomachs

"Love... Are you alright?" You asked Draco

He was shaking, Harry just looked shocked

Remus came in, looking at the boys.

"So it is true." He muttered.

"What's going on?" You asked.

"....Dumbledore he's.... He's dead."

This felt like such a shock.

One of the most powerful people... Gone

Just like that.

"Who killed him?" You asked

"S...Snape."

Your heart dropped.

the whole wizarding world now grieved

You all felt so.. Weird.

Then... You got a letter

Fleur asked an odd question

"Will you be my bridesmaid"

You happened to be drinking coffee and reading this next to the boys

"BILL PROPOSED!?" you asked

Fred and George both looked up

"HE DID WHAT!?"

So that's how you all found out.

Then your lil bro was born!

Teddy!

Then there was a slight... Problem

Harry was going to be attacked

So seven people devised a plan, drinking polyjuice potion to avoid having harry killed

Fred, George, Fleur, Bill, Ron and Hermione all drank the potion

You stayed with Molly and Ginny

When your father came back he was pissed.

Someone in the Order betrayed them.

And then came George

Who was now missing an ear

Oh no

You all helped nurse him back to health

then when he was lucid he said the iconic lines of

"I'm holey"

You and Fred rolled your eyes but were glad he was safe

Then... The next days came

The prime minister of the wizarding world showed up

He had things of Dumbledore to give to all of you

and he gave you all a quest

to destroy some horcruxes

You all went to a wedding

Fleur and Bill! WOOHOO!

Draco of course went

He loved seeing you again

"I've missed you." You whispered to him at a table.

"I've missed you too." He said.

He smiled, watching the happy couple dance.

"...Do you think we'll have something like that?" You asked

"Well for one we're not getting married in a tent." he said making you laugh

then all hell just seemed to break lose

The wedding turned into Harry, you and Hermione all going on the run

Hermione of course came prepared

You all went to some random shop and devised a plan

You all got attacked (they failed)

You all went back to Grimmauld Place, figuring clues had to be there

you ended up sleeping there, finding Sirius's room.

You found his old things... His leather jacket being right on a chair

"Take it." Harry told you.

"But Harry you-" "You always loved that thing growing up... I'll take his lighter." He told you

Then you had a thought

"Wait, what were the initials in the book?" You asked

"RAB"

then it clicked with both of you

Sirius didn't mention his home life to you guys, but he did talk about his little brother

Regulus Arcturus Black

You found this little locket in his room

And then you met that creepy ass house elf

Then you had to go to the ministry

Oh god.

You all snuck in

and there was Umbridge.

You stood there in a court room

and you learned that that feeling of being watched was more than valid.

You, your families... They were all being watched by the bitch in pink.

before they started to figure out what was going on and saving a woman in the process

Then others started chasing you and next thing your ass knew, you were in the woods

You all made a attempt to destroy the locket

it failed.

you all had to walk

for days

then Ron got jealous

Then he took off on his own

You all had to keep going

Hermione was noticeably more sad

"how do you do it Y/n?" she asked

"Do what?" you asked

"fight so hard without him next to you." She asked

You sighed

"I have to keep going Hermione. If we want any shot at a future... We need to keep going." You said

"...Right." She nodded

"Plus, I found that binge drinking helps." You added making her snort

After days of traveling you found clues that led you all to a grave yard in a place that felt vaguely familiar.

You found a grave with a symbol on it

But that's not what made this familiar

"Harry-"

You looked up and saw him at a grave

you and Hermione walked over to see James and Lily's headstone.

You conjured a lily to place while Hermione put a wreathe on it

You all ended up in a house with an old woman.

Well an old woman that ended up being a snake

A literal snake

So you bolted.

Then you ended up on the road

AGAIN.

While you were asleep, Harry managed to find the sword of Gryffindor

...And RON!

So you broke the horcrux

you all made up but now you needed to figure out what to do next

After more traveling you ended up with Luna's dad

Mans was cryptic

and then you were all attacked

you all took off in the woods, magic was in fact used to hurt harry but only enough to conceal his identity

you ended up in the malfoy manor.

Draco's face dropped once you were put in front of him

"Y'know.. I bet the girl will have answers." Bellatrix suggested.

"Which one? There's two." Lucius said, staring at you

"...Lover girl here, who's been makin' eyes at your boy." she said.

His heart pounded in his ears as you were handed over to Bellatrix.

Harry shot a look to Draco and he had to bite his tongue

"So... pretty pretty girl" She began

you swallowed hard, looking at Draco.

"What did you take. Hmm? From the vault?" She asked

You shook your head.

"I wasn't with them-" "LIAR!" She yelled making you jump.

"Last chance. What did you take-" "I don't know--" she pinned you to the floor, winding you.

"WHAT DID YOU TAKE!?" "NOTHING!"

and then she started the torture.

You let out bloocurdling screams, begging for her to stop Draco having to look away, he was on the verge of tears

Then the group managed to escape.

As the group prepared to fight and you were shaking from...everthing, you all heard this metal squeak

You looked up to see

Dobby?

Draco looked at him, then you, then as the chandelier fell, he grabbed you, ran to Harry and you all apparated out of there

You all were safe

...Until Dobby stumbled forward.

And then Draco caught him

"D-Dobby is sorry Master Draco.." He muttered

Draco let tears fall

"You will die, a free elf Dobby." He told him.

"Dobby... Is..Free" were the last words of Dobby

You and Harry buried him, you feeling this intense guilt

"This isn't going to be the last person we bury, will it?" you asked.

"...No." Harry muttered.

Hermione went through her bag, pulling out your jacket.

You put it on, holding your wrist in pain

"What did she write?" Ron asked.

"...Blood Traitor." you muttered.

Draco pulled you to him, kissing your head

"I should've reacted-" "You could have died." you said.

he hugged you tightly, you sobbing into his chest

You were so tired.

and this wasn't even halfway done.

Well after a few days of rest they all asked what Bellatrix wanted to know

You told them it was something about a vault

The group decided to investigate said vault.

You told them you weren't joining them

Neither was Draco.

Instead you stayed with Bill and Fleur, away from everything

Fleur noticed you being so... Out of it

She sat next to you in a chair

"What's on your mind?" She asked

"Was that how they felt?" You muttered.

"What?" Bill asked, looking up from a book as Draco washed dished

"Neville's parents. Was... What I went through... That terror... Was that how they felt?" You asked.

Draco stopped what he was doing and hugged you.

Draco never stopped feeling that guilt

You and Draco took a break after the events at the manor from the Order.

Your time however came when the battle started.

Everyone showed up, first years were evacuated,

Shit was going to hit the fan.

So you all buckled up

You wore Sirius's jacket, standing next to your dad and Draco

you held Draco's hand, watching McGonagall's force field slowly break.

"THEY'RE COMING!" Ginny shouted, sprinting down the bridge with her group.

You all fought, screams around you as you sprinted down halls to find Fred and George

"Fred!" You called.

"BEHIND YOU!" He yelled, Draco blasting a rock away from you.

"Fucking trolls!" Draco coughed.

Fred and George never left your side after that.

You looked around the battlefield and frowned.

"Where's dad?" You asked

Draco looked to the twins.

You all took off again, before seeing your dad and Tonks

relief washed over you seeing him

and then

A spell was fired behind him, the entire area collapsing

Draco took your hand, sprinting away as you watched the area collapse where your father was.

When you were safe, you fell to the ground.

"We- we have to go back" You whimpered

"We can't Y/n..." Fred said.

"We-we have to--" You sobbed into George's chest, him holding you

they were gone...

Your dad

Tonks...

Gone.

Draco looked around, hearing students yell

"We're not safe here darling, we have to go" He said

you nodded, but were still crying

Fred and George met back up with you in the infirmary, before seeing something gut wrenching

Percy was dead.

The whole family grieved, Ron sobbing into Hermione's shoulder, Ginny hugging you

Fred and George felt like the worst people on earth especially after Arthur mentioned something

Percy, stuck up, hard ass Percy's last words

was a joke.

You and Draco stayed near the infirmary, guarding the son of a bitch with your lives

you saw Hermione and Ron, both with Harry.

You ran over, looking at them

"How many more are there?" You asked.

"One. I don't even know what it is." Ron huffed.

Harry said nothing, hugging you tightly.

"You and I may not be related by blood. But we are family." He mumbled in your ear

You originally assumed his sincerity came from the fact you were surrounded by war

And then it hit you

Harry could read Voldemort's mind

Harry could read Nagini's mind

Harry could speak Parseltongue

He ran off before you could speak

"No... no no no--"

"What's wrong?" Draco asked.

"Harry's the last horcrux." You said, your voice breaking.

Everyone froze as they realized what had to happen

It didn't help either when the battle just seemed to stop

and they saw Hagrid holding someone.

Ginny let out a cry that nearly broke you

Fred and George out their hands on your shoulders as you sobbed

You lost...

You all... You were doomed from the start, you all lost

And then... they asked you all to pick sides

Draco's family motioned for him to come but he didn't move an inch from your side

But then something unexpected happened....

You walked forward.

"...This is quite unexpected miss Lupin. But I'm sure there's a place for you--"

"I’d like to say something." you said, looking at him.

"I don't care that Harry's gone. People die everyday, my dad. My stepmom. My friends. My family. My brother now has to live in a world where he doesn't have his parents. So I don't care that Harry is gone. Because he’s still with us…in here. So is my dad, Tonks, Cedric…all of them. They didn’t die in vain! I won't fucking let them. I refuse to let them. But you will, because you’re wrong. Harry’s heart did beat for us. For all of us! It’s not over!” you told the dark Lord.

Draco gripped his wand ready to counter whatever spell was about to be fired

And then something very very surprising happened

Harry was alive.

Intense relief washed over him before you snatched his wand back from Lucius and threw it to him

Lucius had the last straw with you

so he started to attack you

what he didn't account for was you having serious strength before you socked him in the jaw

Draco and you took off before you saw flashes of red and green

You watched as Harry overpowered Voldemort, destroying him once and for all.

You did it.

You hugged him, along with Draco, Hermione and the Weasleys

Harry broke the elder wand, doing away with it so no one would have a chance to use it for evil ever again

You went to sleep, finally feeling safe.

You felt empty though, having to come home to your house now without your dad or Tonks

Andromeda was staying with Teddy, sure not to wake you

When you woke up that morning you could smell something specific.

Your dad's pancakes.

you bolted up, sprinting to the kitchen to see

Draco

Disappointment coursed through you and he turned around, hugging you

"I'm so sorry." Draco whispered.

You whimpered and let the tears fall before

"Tell me you didn't burn the one thing I left you in charge of."

You turned around, Remus standing there.

"DAD!" you screamed, hugging him

He winced but hugged back.

"Oh! Hello, this is a strange start to a morning." Tonks said before you yanked her into a hug

Turns out a few of the Slytherins were around the campus on their brooms as Sentry's for Mcgonagall.

When the collapse took place, they saved them from any lethal damage

A few cracked ribs and a collapsed lung? Yes, but at least they were alive.

You all had a proper funeral for Sirius.

You, Fred and George all completed your time in Hogwarts.

Once you did, you became healer, but something WILD happened on graduation day

You smiled, looking at your family.

Draco cleared his throat, standing next to you.

"hi there stranger." you said, earning a chuckle.

"can we talk, I do have a question to ask." he said.

You nodded, turning to him.

"You remember the future we wanted together?" He asked.

"Kids, a small house and the dog? Yes, I remember." You said.

"what if I had a plan to make it happen?" He asked.

"...what?"

"Y/n, what if... we got married?" he asked.

Your mind imploded

"YES YOU FUCKING MORON!" you said, hugging him.

So you two ended up getting married.

You ended up having a son and the basset hound your husband just had to have.

Buddy was the dog's name

Scorpius was your son's name.

One day you were doing the dishes when Scorpius came up to you

"mummy, I have a question." he said.

"What is it dear?" You asked.

"My teachers mentioned you left hogwarts in your fifth year. What happened?" He asked.

You smiled.

"Well my little lad... That's quite a story."

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