#i live and die hard for characters like him. so upset at the world but finally gets the love he needs.

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

As much as I joke, I should note that I don't actually see Bill as a sweet little innocent baby who couldn't do no harm.

It's hard to explain but: Do I still feel bad that I now know he didn't intend to destroy his dimension and carries that grief, and that truly he's a desperate person trying to find him and his friends a home to stay in so they don't disintegrate when the edge of the world approaches them? Yeah. Does that mean id be totally fine if he had taken over earth and turned it into the nightmare realm? HELL NO! Get that dorito bastard away from my dirt!!!

Do I feel bad that he's suffering in theraprism? Kinda, yeah. Do I find it hilarious that he's suffering in theraprism. Absolutely. Is that a question? That's fucking awesome. These coexist simultaneously in my mind.

[bunny-heels]

i hate how obsessed ive become to this show but god i cannot help it

[kurishiri]

I read this hellhole of a route to find out more about Alfons

this post is a like a semi-detailed dump of information which may be updated below the cut on Alfons, and a bit on his relationship with others like Elbert, Roger and Kate, that can be seen from his main story. I guess it’s made for those who want to learn more about his character (and for my own silly note taking), or are curious about him, but may feel upset at cw: a lot of explicit dub/non-con scattered throughout the story, especially in the first half or so. So yes, there are spoilers about Alfons and his route under the cut!

the gist of why Alfons is the way he is (constantly going out at night, drinking in the afternoon, etc.) is because of his curse and his tragic fate

his curse is the mirror curse, which gives him the ability to change others’ perceptions if he touches the nape of their neck, in exchange for being forgotten

in other words, he’s destined to die without leaving any trace in the world

once he dies, his memory will be “forcibly” erased from people’s minds and in written form, but objects may still remain; in other words, he himself is treated as an illusion by his curse

Alfons was born in the east end (aka the slums) as a “nameless” orphan, though it’s implied his parents named him such before abandoning him

as long as he could survive, he took up any identity, with his current one being a “noble” so that he could stay by Elbert’s side

at first, this was likely for survival and living off Elbert’s money, and then some sense of guilt may have played a role in his sticking to Elbert’s side, saying that he couldn’t make him “go crazy” though Elbert said when they first met, Alfons said what he needed to hear

anyhow though he tries to keep his distance, it’s implied Alfons had let Elbert into his heart and Elbert can tell when Alfons is lying, but this may have been a subconscious thing on Alfons’ end as he naturally spent a lot of time with Elbert

I think Alfons does genuinely care for Elbert, in his own way (I guess he thinks of him like a bit of a troublesome “childhood friend”); when he was intending to leave a final farewell, he wrote a note to Elbert, and Elbert alone, wishing him to live a good rest of his life

he was subjected to a lot of manual labor as a child, by the orphanage he stayed at

though he was corporeally punished sometimes, he mentioned dissociating so that he didn’t feel the pain of the punishment

while being worked to the bone, though, he managed to befriend a cat

legit this cat actually had a chokehold on his past — it had a lot of significance in Alfons’ backstory

so basically child Alfons is like “at least I can love this cat” and he hopes the cat will remember and love him

the fact the cat might remember him was what kept him going; this is important to remember

because sometime later after he got kicked out of the orphanage, he was out polishing shoes and that’s when he met child Roger, who is a little older than Alfons

in exchange for being paid, Alfons agreed to let Roger research or experiment a bit on Alfons’ curse. Since at the time, Alfons didn’t know how to activate his ability, they sorta experimented with that

in the end they figured it out and Roger ended up eating shoe polish because Alfons said “this shoe polish is your fav food” 😭

but Roger was excited to meet another cursed one and he got a bit too carried away by casually telling Alfons what his cursed fate was: he is destined to be forgotten

this hits Alfons really hard and he wants to go back and check on his cat

yeah well it turns out this cat was actually the director of the orphanage??

the cat had apparently died a little while ago while Alfons was still in an orphanage, probably taken out by the director, and he couldn’t take that reality and so he basically uses his ability on the director to act as his cat, or he simply just dissociates from reality

(so that’s why there were rumors floating around that the director of the orphanage had turned into a cat, and why he was kicked out I think; there’s quite a bit of unreliable narration on both ends throughout the story just because of the nature of Alfons’ curse)

it is here where Alfons first says this little catchphrase he says at the end of his route preview: “if you can’t take your reality, then you can run away from it. And if you can’t run away from it… you can just go crazy.”

he has these thoughts like “it would’ve been better if I didn’t check on the cat, if only I could’ve kept dreaming”

but anyway that is why Alfons doesn’t like Roger, even now. Though he’s a lot more.. reserved about it I guess because he’s now a “noble”

when Roger first presented this info Alfons was really emotional

at present Alfons goes to the east end at times to give people there an illusion or a dream, something that’ll make them feel better

he uses his ability without caring what happens to him — because what’s the point?? He’s just going to be forgotten in the end

he claims he’s doing this for entertainment, just as he hangs around Kate for entertainment, but she suspects he does this kind of thing out of kindness (though it may be like a twisted type of kindness)

after all, it seems like Alfons uses his ability for others, when others need it, like when they’re suffering

Alfons doesn’t confirm nor deny Kate’s theory about him, but Kate feels this is the “truth,” and Alfons calls her “straightforward” and a fool

however he seems to hold respect toward Kate for being able to face reality, no matter how harsh it is because this is something he couldn’t do himself

and he is pretty self-deprecating about it too, since he can only give them a “temporary escape” and he believes that is the extent he can give due to his fate and the nature of his curse — he can only have “fleeting relationships” with people like Kate, encouraging her if she ever needed an escape, she could come to him, but that was all he would be willing to give

or, that is all he thought he could give, as he also thinks himself as unable to love others (though by the time he tries to actively push Kate away trying to convince her that her feelings are a misunderstanding, he likes her back)

he just doesn’t want to be close to her, nor does he want her to be close to him, because Kate would end up forgetting about him anyway, so he tries to push her away by doing bad things to her

in fact, he values his life so little — he would disappear completely for Kate

and he also believes he can’t feel love, but he admits to having this feeling of wanting to make Kate despair, perhaps so that he can carve his presence into her while Kate tries to find a way to maybe change his tragic fate

he likes cats but has complicated feelings toward them due to his past, but he sometimes goes out and feeds strays

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Autistic Anime Boys Side B Round 2 Match 2

Propaganda:

Kim Dokja -

"His entire existence is based on loving one webnovel that he is the sole reader of for 10 years. Before he can read the last chapter, he is reverse isekai’d and now knows like everything about this new world and all the characters from the novel and interacts with those characters like they are still characters rather than people. He entirely misunderstands his friends intentions and words so much that it’s like he’s having a different conversation.

Ex. KDJ: in order to survive the scenario I have to die so everyone will live. No one will be upset because they don’t like me and don’t need me :) KDJ’s loved ones: all we want you to do is survive and be happy. please don’t die we will do every possible thing for you to live (And they quite literally go above and beyond but that’s spoilers) KDJ: oh they must mean someone else. It’s ok if I die. They’re lying or joking obvs

He literally has a library in his head about the webnovel he’s based his life around. His entire ability in this world is based on reading and becoming closer to people. He masks so hard his face is literally blurred in the novel (ex. Referred to as the ugliest king but he’s just a normal guy. People can’t see his face bc of world censors). When KDJ company (his friends) make a scenario to force him to slow down and spend time with them, he tries to solve their grievances (of which is pretty much just “stop dying”) and doesn’t understand that they love him.

I won’t include more stuff bc it’s huge spoilers, but he’s my favorite hc autistic guy character."

Zoro -

"His special interest is sword and he's very dedicated to his goal of becoming the world's best swordsman! Loves learning new techniques, working out and is incredibly determined. Doesn't care that much about stuff that doesn't affect him or his crew directly. While not a super common autistic trait, he also has zero sense of direction and will get lost anywhere even with a map."

[octo-hyacinth]

HI HELLO IT’S OKAY UWU It’s me, your friendly neighborhood chronically ill anon who made the request!🖤 The request was for dorm leaders(with Malleus and Idia replaced with Jamil and either Rook or the Leech Boys) and how they would be with a Prefect S/O who’s chronically ill(weak due to back/joint pain, struggles to exert themselves too hard as it causes trouble breathing, has dizzy spells and nausea, etc.)but does their best to manage it and keep a positive outlook, even on the rough days!

Hello, my lovely anon! thanks so much for the requests, anddd im sorry if these hc’s don’t really apply to you, but i promise i tried bc you deserve to be comforted by your favorite boys <3

~~~~~

The Boys with a Chronically Ill S/O

Characters: Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto, Kalim Al-Asim, Vil Schoenheit, Jamil Viper, Floyd and Jade Leech

Content Warnings: total fluff, written on mobile, these boys are so smitten with you its not even funny, mentions of drugs(?)/getting high in Jade’s but its just cuz of his shrooms

A/N: guys omg i finally figured out how to get motivation to write omg [i immediately keel over and die from being scholastically overwhelmed] but putting life’s crap aside, this was actually quite fun to write!

Riddle Rosehearts

Initially very upset when he sees that you tend to push yourself and ignore your pain and exhaustion on a daily basis.

With how much he fusses over you, you’re half convinced there’s a rule about this situation somewhere, but no, he’s just like an angry mother hen, pecking at you constantly to take a break, or running to Sam’s store to get you painkillers or whatever else you need at all.

Totally wants to yell at Vargas when he hears that he was pushing you a bit too hard in PE, and you got super exhausted as a result and had to force yourself to take a break.

However, Riddle’s very proud of you for powering through every day despite your sickness and pain. He doesn’t know very many people at the rest of the school who could endure what you have without complaining.

During the evenings, he likes to sit with you in bed and have a few cups of tea while going over homework or just having nice conversation, whether that’s just how your day went or deeper topics, whatever you want to do, he’ll do, for you.

Sometimes he’ll ask Trey to bake you some sort if pastry or sweet, if you so desire. If not, then he’ll treat you to whatever you want at the cafeteria for lunch, and every time he’s fighting the urge to yell at Crowley for not supplying you with enough funds to have a comfortable life like everyone else.

No matter what, he always wants to support you and ease your suffering however he can, you just have to tell him what you want, and he’ll do it. He may be the ‘Queen’ of Heartslabyul, but he’ll always be there to serve you.

Leona Kingscholar

At first, he probably doesn’t even know that there’s such a thing as an illness that causes you nausea, and bodily weakness, and everything else. Because he kind of grew up around royalty, he was only ever around people who received the best healthcare money could buy, and never really stopped to consider there were people like you who weren’t exactly in top shape.

He never blamed you for it, though. If anything, he was irritated at whatever created you and decided to mess up your body like that. Why shouldn’t you get to live painlessly, and be able to run free and do whatever you want without getting dizzy and nauseous? Bullshit.

Always dragged you away from PE class (and maybe other classes too) to go nap with him. He tended to unconsciously hold onto you like he was trying to protect you from the illness trying to snatch you away. Maybe if you slept by his side enough, all that stuff would fade, and maybe you could sleep peacefully enough to dream about a world where you could live without this chronic garbage. That’s what he said, anyway.

He DEFINITELY yells at Vargas when he’s picking on you, no restraint to be seen anywhere. Leona’s very protective of you like that.

When you’re out and around the school, he’s not by your side all the time (can’t come off as clingy, now, can we?) but he meets you in the halls when he can, and subtly praises you for making it through the day so far.

Sends Ruggie to get you painkillers, nausea medicine, your favorite snacks, anything. Doesn’t care how much it costs, if it’s for you.

Azul Ashengrotto

Once he becomes aware of your chronic illness (and he finds out very fast. He’s a well-informed boy), he’s dropping everything to go help or comfort you at any given moment. He’ll even leave class if he needs to.

Not that he needs much excuse to skip PE class in particular.

Will procrastinate on paperwork and Mostro Lounge duties when he can to be with you, and send Jade, Floyd, or both to accompany you when he can’t. Don’t worry, they have your best interests in mind (most of the time).

Always has medication and snacks on hand in his office, and a spot permanently reserved for you in a quiet part of the Lounge for you to retreat to whenever you needed a break, free of charge! And he always told his waiters to gift you one free drink of your choice. He’s just benevolent like that, isn’t he?

However if you need to get away from the noise, the door to his office is always open. He’d be glad to have you stay with him for a little while.

He’s also very proud of the way you constantly seem to have a glass-half-full mindset in your life, even when things can be so rough for you. It’s quite admirable, really. He wished he was able to hold onto your positivity when he was younger during his own rough days of being teased by everyone else.

If it seems at all like you’re struggling during the day, he’ll gently thread his fingers through yours and whisper encouragements like “I think you’re doing wonderful today, darling” softly into your hair. And in the evenings, if you happen to be in Azul’s room, he likes to hold you in his arms, offering complete protection from the pains and worries of the world, and gives you an opportunity to relax or even fall asleep if you wish, in as safe a place as he can give you.

He’s never been so soft and open with anyone like this before. It’s new to him, all of it, but he’s willing to do absolutely anything for you, because he’s never, in all his life, found a pearl that shines as beautifully as you, and he’s not going to wanna let you slip through his fingers. He wants to treasure you as softly and as reverently as you deserve.

Floyd Leech

Aww man, does this mean he can’t squeeze his Shrimpy as hard as he wants?

It’s fine, he understands that it’ll hurt a bit too much for you, but it still makes him sad :(

Only gentle squeezes for this Shrimpy

HOWEVER given how tall and strong he is, he could totally pick you up and carry you with ease, and he doesn’t even need an excuse to do it (maybe for the teachers he needs one. But he can just say he’s taking you to the infirmary)

He’ll fight ANYONE who even tries to give you shit for not being as physically healthy as everyone else, and you better believe those guys are not walkin’ out of that fight without a couple missing teeth or some broken bones.

After he beats the shit out of those haters though, he just grabs you like there’s not a problem in the world and carries you bridal-style through the halls and away to… somewhere else. Maybe he’ll take you to the Mostro Lounge and get you some food! As long as you give him affection in return.

You tell him about anything you need him to get from Sam’s once, and he’s got that memorized for GOOD. Always knows what you need and want after that without you ever needing to repeat yourself.

Totally down to let you sleep in his bed every night if you wanted to, he loves cuddling with you at night, it’s comforting! And it helps him sleep more solidly. Down in the Coral Sea, as a general rule, if you were alone, you were unsafe, especially if you were sleeping alone. So it’s nice to be able to hold onto you and let him feel like he’s got someone with him. He’ll always be there to protect you as well, obviously!

He’s proud of you for staying positive on your rough days, but he’s there for you to fall back on if it just gets too tiring one day. But on the regular, he’s cheering you on and telling you how awesome you are for looking at the bright side all the time. Even when he’s in a bad mood, once he notices your optimism, it lightens a bit, because seeing you so bright and happy can’t help but make him feel a little better.

Jade Leech

He’s always very attentive to your needs. There’s never a moment when he’s unprepared for anything you might desire, it’s like he’s psychic.

Like, you’re wanting to leave PE class? Before you even open your mouth, Jade’s already on his way to Vargas to inform him that sadly you will be absent for the rest of the period due to unfortunate circumstances, and he will be accompanying you to the nurse’s office shortly.

In reality, you can go wherever you want to go and do whatever you want to do once Vargas is out of sight, because Jade gives exactly no shits as long as you’re happy.

Somehow he has pain and nausea meds on him like, all the time. You don’t even need to go anywhere to get any cuz guess what, your boy Jade’s gotchu.

May or may not have you experiment with some of his mushrooms to test their healing or pain-numbing abilities (don’t you worry, he would never drug you on purpose without permission, as curious as he is. He’ll save the hallucinogenic ones for messing with Floyd and Azul.)

He’s also very good at potions as well, so he may get a bit experimental with those as well, possibly adding in a few shrooms here and there. But it’s all for your benefit— he truly does want to help you and wants to get you some relief from the chronic pains.

He’s not exactly surprised you’re able to keep a smile on your face day to day— he knows thats just how you are. However that doesn’t mean he isn’t impressed at how you continue the positivity without showing a hint of wanting to break most days. He’s impressed by how it’s not entirely a façade, that you’re truly happy most of the time.

But when you’re at your lowest, when you’re in the most pain or unusually tired, he’s always there for you to fall into his arms and forget about the world for a little bit.

Kalim Al-Asim

He’s really really sad for you once he realizes that because of your illness, you can’t do anything that requires lots of moving around, like dancing as jubilantly as he can! He’d really love to dance with you, and he expresses as much with a sad, almost puppy-like face.

It sucks that you can’t really do particular things, but he’s determined to find something you CAN do that you’ll both enjoy, that doesn’t mean you have to experience any pain!

Would a carpet ride work? He wishes he could take you on a carpet ride. Hmmm.

Well, while he figures that out, he asks Jamil to maybe come up with a potion to take away some of your pain, so that he can teach you to dance!

But on most regular days, he’ll constantly tap on your arm and slip you little notes during class that say stuff like “hey r u doing ok? :)”

But it’s like. all the time. almost to the point of being annoying. He just wants to make sure that you’re doing okay enough to still be in class, and if you ever give the slightest indication it’s getting kind of bad, he’s dragging you by the arm and already on his way to the door, not even stopping before he’s saying “We’ll be right back, professor!” with a happy wave before he’s already gone with you in tow.

Makes you dizzy with how fast he’s speed-walking, and you actually have to tell him to slow down so it goes away. He didn’t mean to, though, but he’s endlessly apologizing anyway. He loves you a lot and would never do that on purpose! :(

He has Jamil whip up some Scalding Sands specialty dishes whenever it’s been a rough day for you, and makes sure it’s to your taste, whether you like spiciness or not. It’s supposed to be a comfort food after all!

Kalim’s always your number one cheerleader, and he wants to motivate you throughout the day to keep going, and is always happy to see you staying upbeat!

He’s always by your side, if that wasn’t clear. Always trying to be there to make you laugh or keep your mood up and to check in on you, and until you literally tell him to go away he’s not leaving you, he cares too much to want to leave you on your own… but if it’s solitude you need, of course he’ll respect that. He knows not to cross clear-set boundaries when it comes to you.

Jamil Viper

Not super clingy like some of the others, but he definitely gives you more attention and care than he normally would.

Cooks for you almost every day, whether its a simple lunch or an extravagant dinner he set up in his room for just the two of you. He puts a lot of thought into your taste preferences when he shares his food with you, and never forgets your reactions to anything, no matter how subtle your facial expressions are. He always remembers what you definitely seem to like, and knows how to tweak other dishes to make them even more delicious.

Despite his ever-busy schedule, he’ll make trips to Sam’s every day to get you any medication or painkillers you need. Sometimes he’ll even brew a potion for you to try and ease the pain.

If you’re tired or in pain during class and can’t focus, he’ll automatically share his notes with you and personally go over everything you might have missed later.

If you’re sleeping in his room (let’s face it, his bed is likely much more comfortable than the one in Ramshackle) he gathers all the pillows he can and makes it as comfortable as possible for you if you need support for your back or joints.

Keeps a stock of whatever you could possibly need right in his room. And if he doesn’t have it, he’s already off to get it for you.

He’s not really a very physically affectionate person, but he will massage you if you’re in pain, and rub your back or run his fingers along your scalp if you’re tired or even while you’re asleep.

It’s acts of service for him. Maybe he’s so used to serving the Asim family that it’s just become second nature, but part of him truly wants to serve you and do whatever it is you ask of him, and he wants to do things for you of his own accord as well. Just make sure to show him you love him back.

Vil Schoenheit

Always treats you like royalty. He personally goes to get you whatever you want, medicines, food, anything.

Has a night where he sits you down and just doesn’t let you move around or exert yourself, just lightly massages you with fragrant oils to release any tension you have in your body, and hopefully release some of your back and joint pain temporarily. Washes your hair with only the best stuff, gives you a facial, anything for you. Not to make you more beautiful (although its not like his treatment makes you uglier) but he does it to pamper you and show his affection through giving you attention like this, sharing his coveted beauty products and only focusing on you.

Lets you get as much beauty sleep as you need, yes, even if it’s during class. If you’re sleepy and your head starts to drop he will give a horrendous death glare to anyone who even looks like they want to disturb you. And yes, he’s usually incredibly strict about paying attention in class and excelling academically, but you’re a special case to him. He wants to spoil you.

Always is the one to volunteer to help you out of PE class (or any class) when you need to stop from exhaustion or pain. He’ll sit with you, far away from everyone else, and let you do what you want to do instead. You wanna take a break and eat? Sure. You wanna go back to the dorm for a bit and sleep? Of course. It’s whatever you want.

Vil doesn’t express the extent of his love for you through his words, rather his actions. He’d much rather show you how much he cares, instead of using words that hold no meaning without acts of love to prove it. It means more to him, and words are so limited anyway. So even if he’s not telling you every day outright that he loves you, just make sure you notice how he shows he loves you in everything he does.

[sincerely-sofie]

The piece you wrote awhile back about Twig's passing, has that changed at all since Opal came into the picture?

I’ve been considering that piece noncanonical because of how sad it makes me. Twig dying to a mundane infection after all she’s survived feels fitting in a very sad way, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like it’s a waste— both in-universe and at a meta level— for her to die in her mid 40s. Especially as I add in more cast members to this AU and consider Ark’s perspective.

She’s got so many people to stick around for. I hate the idea of squandering the potential in her interactions with Gengar and Calypso especially just to squeeze out one last drop of angst. And that’s not even to mention Opal, who wasn’t a part of the story when I wrote that piece. If Twig dies when I initially planned, the gal would barely be thirteen when it happens, and I can’t handle that.

When you factor in Ark as well, it’s the most unsatisfying turn around to his character arc. He’s just figuring out that life isn’t doesn’t hate him, and then the woman he loves kicks the bucket after a long, painful, illness that he’s partly to blame for? The ending line of that fic where he laments that it’s not fair rubs me the wrong way looking back on it. I don’t think he’d recover from that, and it’s such a disappointing ending to Twig’s life. She’d be so ticked that her legacy is one of grief and despair instead of fondness and growth.

Instead, I think it would be more interesting for Twig to live far longer than any charmander-line pokemon has on record. She’s a lot more hale and hearty than a charizard in her 80s should ever be, especially when you consider it’s remarkable if they live to 60. There’s an anxiety surrounding her slowed aging, and Ark in particular wonders when the temporal distortion affecting her will waver and she’ll finally pass. It eventually does happen— and Twig is still reluctant to allow people to be there when she does slip away— but she does let Ark be present at his insistence that she doesn’t shut him out during this final stretch of time he has with her.

Twig dies, and it’s not fair— nor will it ever be. There’s grieving to be done in the wake of a loss so deep. Everyone takes it hard, and Ark will never forget the morning he found Opal solemnly flipping through an old sketchpad with drawings Twig left for her to discover in the corners of each page.

It's the first time Ark has ever grappled with immortality like this. He's going to live forever without the person who showed him life was worthwhile. He sees her memory in everything around him, and a century later he still catches himself thinking that Twig would like a certain flower and that he should tell her its name when he gets home. He'll miss her for eternity, and her death will never stop hurting. But he'll never regret being able to learn from and love her.

Opal's been practically raised as a mortal. Grovyle's passing was her first exposure to death that hit her family. She'd seen Dad upset after they attended a funeral for a nidoqueen, but it didn't have the same impact as Grovyle— and nothing was as world-shattering as Mother's death. She bottles it up and hides from her grief at first, only letting herself mourn when she goes through the old sketchbooks she shared with Twig. After a conversation with Lucky, though, she finally lets herself grieve in full, and goes to Ark about it.

It’s difficult to move on, and maybe none of them ever will. But Twig’s death slowly becomes less of a wound and her memory becomes more of a balm. They miss her, and they love her, and her love for them is something they'll never go without feeling.

[breadly-art]

I often see that people think that Miguel will be killed in BTSV. For God's sake, why did you decide that?

Miguel is definitely against Miles' beliefs. For him, he is an antagonist, yes, he is. But that doesn't mean Miguel is bad. The fact that he causes problems to the main character does not make him a villain. And even more so does not make him a bad guy and a terrible person. Moreover, this does not mean that this character should die because of his "bad" beliefs.

Miguel is also a spider-man, he cares about people the way he believes it will be right. Do you think he likes the idea that bad things have to happen, that they can't be stopped and you just have to watch? I don't think so.

Miguel tried to do otherwise. Yes, he looked after Gabriela's universe because he always wanted to have a family and be happy, but that's not why he rushed there after the death of that version of himself. He couldn't watch the girl lose her father, he just wanted to help, anyone in his place would have done the same. But he only made it worse.

He is convinced of his rightness precisely for this reason, and not because he wants to watch good people die, because the canon dictates so. He does not deserve to die because he allegedly wants to change nothing. Just unlike Miles, he understands that risking the lives of billions of people for the sake of an idea that may also not work is a very low indicator of responsibility. And with great power comes great responsibility. And a great guilt. If something goes wrong, if the universe starts to fall apart, Miguel will be sure that it is his fault. He invented a way to travel through the universes, he monitors the safety of the worlds, the headquarters is under his command. And it turns out that he was not attentive enough, since the irreparable happened. That's why he tries so hard to stop Miles, so much so that he behaves frighteningly.

Maybe it will work, and Miles will save his father and the universe will not collapse. Or maybe a catastrophe will happen. Now the universe is fine, yes, it costs some people their lives, but it is clearly better than the death of all at once. Yes, the lesser of two evils is still evil, but if Miguel have to choose, then let it be so. It's still hard. But Michel knows he has to be the one to do it.

It upsets me that so many people hate Miguel literally for being a responsible person. Funny teenage spiders are, of course, cool, but what about worrying about the entire population of the universe at once? It's a little more complicated, isn't it?

Well, he just can't be killed - he's one of those spider-men known from comics since the 20th century, a damn classic. He was in games, in animated series, he had his cameos, it means a lot. It's untouchable. Amen.

[bunglegaydogs]

Episode 61 BSD spoilers ofc xoxo

I know a lot of people are upset at Fyodor's death this episode, but can we all just remember that this was probably one of the better options that could have happened of all the options?

I always knew that Fyodor would die - it was just a definite thing I had in my head. He couldn't stay alive like Fitzgerald, that's not the way his character is. He's too much of a danger to everyone else when he's alive. I thought this was a pretty great ending to his life, it's not perfect but it is? I don't know. Something about burning in the flames and succumbing to them in the vehicle you were supposed to escape in after being fooled by a cheap party trick.

For all the people saying "But Fyodor's the smartest character in BSD! How could he be fooled by Chuuya just pretending to be a vampire?"

May I remind you of the fact that Fukuchi fooled Ranpo? You know, the one who's known for never being wrong and solving things like this constantly? Because even when Mushitarou used his ability, the same ability that has hidden thousands and thousands of esteemed criminals with deplorable crimes to their name, and not one person has been able to find them, Ranpo was still able to solve it with only a few clues.

Yet due to his unwavering trust and faith in Fukuzawa, that led to him being completely oblivious to Fukuchi being Kamui. He didn't think that he'd need to look beneath the surface level, because Fukuzawa trusts him so much. He never thought that he'd need to look any further.

The same goes for Fyodor and Chuuya.

Fyodor isn't the smartest character in the series, nor is he meant to be! He's simply just one of the smartest. He can still be outwitted by the rest. Not everyone can win everything every single time. Eventually, no matter how good you are at chess, someone else will beat you.

Anyways lol.

We don't even know how Fyodor got Chuuya to Meursault, or how he had proof that he'd turned him into a vampire. Of course, it will all be revealed soon, but disregarding that for a second.

Chuuya has broken into Meursault after Fyodor tells him to, mowing down all the guards and killing them all and saving Fyodor's ass from getting shot or being thrown back into jail. It all adds up in Fyodor's head so far. Chuuya says nothing, only growls, hisses, and screams. Typical vampire. (Other than his weird yowl LMAOOO)

Nothing is fishy to Fyodor yet. Chuuya is helping him and doing as he says. Then, they both get almost drowned by Dazai. Again, this is all pointing to the fact that he is not on Dazai's side if Dazai is actively putting him in his plans to kill Fyodor too.

Fyodor assumes that their bond is shallow and fragile, easily breakable if he presses down hard enough and severs the knot, which is what hes trying to do. He teases Dazai because, in his head, it's a one-sided relationship in SKK.

Fyodor doesn't understand human emotions well. He sees people as pawns and is not afraid to use them to get what he wants. But he is different from Dazai in the way he thinks about them. He dislikes humans; he thinks they're sinful and boring and a waste of his time, whereas Dazai thinks humans are fascinating and complicated and wonderful. Fyodor does not see the appeal. Which is what separates him from Dazai. Fyodor uses the people around him until he has no use for them anymore, tossing them aside. He has no regard for their feelings, and anyone he associates with he automatically tries to see what he can get from them and what he can do with them. Dazai does not. Dazai uses people as a means to help the Agency, or to save someone else, or to get information on how to not let the fucking world end, and the character development is wild.

Dazai used to be much more like Fyodor than he is now. He was cold, ruthless, and heartless back then. Whilst Dazai still sees no point in living and wishes to die, and he sees no point in anything, he has still grown more compassionate and a lot more self-aware and he has become capable of more emotion and wanting to save people thanks to Oda. Yes, he still doesn't really care about much, but he genuinely does care about those closest to him and saving and protecting them.

That is why Fyodor couldn't understand - he didn't know just how much trust Soukoku had between each other. He underestimated the bond between them. How much they rely on each other, and always have, for seven years. He thought he had Chuuya under his thumb this entire time, but Chuuya had bested him and tricked him.

This also just goes to show Chuuya's intelligence that a lot of people seem to forget. This type of shit will come easy to Chuuya - he's a Mafia executive for a reason, God damn it. He can lie, he can manipulate, he can be sly and cunning and discreet and careful. He's not a fool, he knows how dire this situation is. And so of course he's going to put his all into a completely fool-proof performance. He literally fooled us, and we're the ones shouting at Dostoevsky for underestimating Soukoku's bond.

But see? This is precisely why this was a suitable "death" for him. (I'm only saying "death" in quotes because you never fucking know with this series.)

Burned in the flames of hellfire as he perishes with the thought that he was completely beaten.

I made a post a while ago about how Fyodor's downfall was going to be how he thought he was too untouchable, how everything is simply but a trial for him and how he is the messenger of God, forcing his will onto other people and just spreading what is God's plan to wipe the world of sinners. How cocky he gets in his own way about his intelligence. How he underestimates, undermines and belittles the people around him because he genuinely thinks that they're worth nothing more than a pebble on the ground to him. He has no empathy or compassion that we've seen so far. He tricked Sigma and stabbed him with absolutely no remorse despite them being in the DOA together. Nikolai was happy to see him out of prison, and he pretty much just blanked him and went straight to the topic at hand, despite apparently having all the time in the world to kill (not really he needed the antidote not to die tbf lol). His downfall was the very thing that sets him apart from the others and typically gives him the upper hand - lack of regret, compassion or empathy or remorse. He was prepared to (and did!) kill children. He lobotomized two people. He manipulates everyone.

I really don't think that Fyodor's story is over at all, but I do think he's actually dead. Maybe not though. As I said, you never fucking know with this series.

Anyways. My point in this post was the fact that whilst we're all upset about his death (well, not all?), it was suitable. You can't complain about BSD not having the balls to kill off any characters, and then when it does, complain that a character has died. Or that "Well, it should have been somebody in the Agency." And what logic would that bring to the table? What would an Agency member dying accomplish? Atsushi is the protagonist, so he's off the table. Things would be very fucked up if Yosano died because then none of them could survive the shit they get themselves into. We don't know enough of Kunikida's history for him to go, plus he's the next leader of the ADA, plus his story is not finished, plus it wouldn't give us anything but grief if he was to die. If Ranpo died, that would also be a big no no, because it would only possibly send Fukuzawa into some sort of corruption arc, and it would crumble the foundations of the Agency, considering he and Fukuzawa are the two founders and he was the first member, and the Agency was made for him. Kenji, I don't see any point in killing our guy off. Leave him alone <3 Kyouka, maybe. She seems, I guess, slightly reasonable. Give Atsushi something more to fight for. Give him reasons to go feral, give him something to be absolutely fucking distraught about. But after that... then what? What would her death bring but grievances to Atsushi? Tanizaki, also no point in killing him off. They'd lose a valuable ability that could get them out of so much shit, Asagiri wouldn't kill him off like that, especially when we hardly know anything about him.

And for people saying "Dazai should have died instead."

That would be really fucking unreasonable - we still have far too many unanswered questions and loose ends. Atsushi would lose his mentor and obviously not handle it well. What about Akutagawa? Kunikida? Chuuya?

Dazai is such an integral part of BSD and an integral part of Atsushi's life - my one hope whilst waiting for the newest episode was that Asagiri wouldn't kill Dazai because there was no logical reasoning behind it. Yes, it would cause some great angst, but if he died, it would have actually just been the turning point for this conflict to get worse. Fyodor would have escaped, and then what? The world would have been wiped, because I guarantee you even if that wasn't Fukuchi's plan, it sure as hell was Fyodor's and he gets what he wants. If Dazai had actually genuinely died, what happens to Chuuya who has to look at his partner's lifeless body in front of him and is like "I did that." If he was a vampire through this and came back when Aya pulled the sword out, imagine what the fuck would have happened when he saw what he'd done. We all remember him going absolutely fucking feral and off the rails in Beast, and he hadn't even killed him there. Chuuya comes to, looks at the gun in his hand, looks at the dead partner of 7 years in front of him bleeding out. My safest bet is that he'd use corruption. But, Dazai is dead. He can't nullify it. Fyodor is escaping on the helicopter. Sigma is still in that room unconscious. Nikolai is doing God knows what he can teleport and shit. Chuuya unleashes corruption, destroys himself and the building, and Fyodor is far away and so is Nikolai, and Sigma is caught in this wreck. That's three important characters all killed in one swoop, whilst the "bad guy" escapes and is free to enact his plan without them hindering it.

?!

I'd rather not see that ending of BSD I can't lie to you <3 (However, I do want an angsty SKK scene of Chuuya going batshit insane at realising what he's done whilst he's been controlled and used as a puppet which is fucking awful for him... maybe I would like to see a little snippet of what this world would be like. Anyways.)

Sorry this got SO off-topic.

MY POINT BEING FYODOR'S DEATH WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAPPEN.

TL;DR: Fyodor's death was always going to happen. It was inevitable.

He's been likened to Jesus so much throughout this series. He's a messenger of God and God puts him through so much suffering, and so many trials, and he sees it all as a simple test that he'll be sure to overcome. He's so blinded by his faith and his Jesus Complex that he can't see where he goes wrong or where he has failed because he's so sure that he can win and doesn't understand human emotions and underestimates everyone around him therefore leading to his demise and being fooled by Soukoku, who he doesn't understand the bond between because he doesn't look beneath the surface of anything intwined with complex emotions.

An angsty outlook would be that Fyodor may be scared of emotions because he doesn't feel them, and therefore takes the approach of "what you don't know can hurt you" and he's afraid of what he doesn't know, much like Dazai. But hey that's just my brain wanting to be scratched and itched the right way and making all my favourite characters tragic.

ANYWAYS goddamn this was so long-winded to just say that.

I hope everyone has a lovely day/night <3

[riizegasm]

We Love, We Lose || H.SH and P.WB

❀ pairing: Park Wonbin x fem!oc x Hong Seunghan

❀ genre: apocalypse!au, angst, slice of life, minor fluff

❀ word count: ~7.9k

❀ warnings: explicit language, suggestive scenes, minor character death, difficult conversations around grief, mild gore (description of major injury), poly!hanibani

❀ summary: In the new world, the group dwindles bit by bit. However, in the midst of chaos, loss, and grief, it's hard not to be selfish. Desire always seems selfish when death lurks around every corner.

❀ A/N: Although this is far from my first work on tumblr (find my old works @golchaworld), welcome to the first work on my new blog! I've been sitting on this piece since about December, so it is truly my baby. As always, likes, reblogs, and replies are always welcome. I hope you enjoy!

Part 2 || masterlist

Jaeri didn’t get the funeral she deserved. She didn’t die the death she deserved. She didn’t live the life she deserved. All eight of them were very aware of the fact that they would meet the same fate. None of them would get to live the lives they deserved to live, and all of them would die deaths that didn’t matter. It was a simple fact of their circumstance. 

Joohyun watches as Sungchan falls to his knees next to the raised mound of dirt. Eunseok had been kind enough to find a few white flowers to rest on top of it until the grass grew back. Joohyun wonders if the water from Sungchan’s tears and the decomposition of Jaeri’s body would be enough to nourish the soil, or if the patch will forever be barren.

Shotaro has his hand on Sungchan’s shoulder, holding him steady as his body shakes with sobs. Joohyun can hear Anton’s soft sniffles from somewhere behind her, always easily upset. She imagines that all of them should be crying the way he is. There should be streams of tears and strangled sobs and harsh sniffles, but Joohyun just can’t find it in her to shed another tear.

Eunseok is the first to walk away, stoic as always. The group slowly scatters after that, until only Sungchan and Shotaro are left behind. Sungchan because he loves Jaeri; Shotaro because he loves Sungchan.

Joohyun finds herself following a familiar path out into the orchard, surrounded by trees and low-hanging fruit. She already knows that Seunghan will want to come by tomorrow to pick the apples. He had always described it as the perfect date. Joohyun would have agreed three years ago, before everything happened. Now, though, she thinks that any date is pointless.

They were here to survive, and that’s it.

She finds a familiar figure seated atop one of the tree stumps that they had cut during the summer. Wonbin’s broad shoulders have shrunk, sitting crouched over himself. A crisp breeze ruffles his inky black locks, leaving his hair akin to a bird's nest. He looks up when leaves crunch particularly loudly under the weight of Joohyun’s steps. His eyes are red-rimmed and glossy, seemingly holding onto tears that well up but never fall down the man’s face. Joohyun knows the feeling.

“I’m not sure Sungchan will ever get over this,” Joohyun says softly, joining the boy on the log.

The stump is barely big enough for the both of them, and Joohyun finds herself pressing into Wonbin’s side. The boy slings an arm around her waist, a familiar weight against her light flannel. When he breathes, Joohyun can feel the expansion and collapse of his chest. She finds it all too easy to join his rhythm.

“He will,” Wonbin sighs out. “We all will. It’s just going to take some time.”

Joohyun feels wetness in the gentle kiss that Wonbin plants on her forehead. The action releases a knot in her stomach, and suddenly, the woman is tearing up again. She remembers when Wonbin placed his lips in the exact same spot as they stood over their first body, blood pouring out from the bullet hole that Joohyun had placed in its forehead. 

“He just loved her so much. Is that what happens to those we love?” Her voice cracks.

Wonbin shushes her, tucking her smaller frame into his chest. “We can’t help who we love. That may be all we have left in this world.”

“Even if it just dies like everything else?”

The chest beneath her head expands, then deflates in a shaky exhale. Joohyun looks up, fully expecting the tear tracks that have started to stain Wonbin’s face. His wide eyes reflect the light sunlight around them, holding the tiniest bit of warmth.

“Yes, baby. Even if it dies.”

.           .          .

Shotaro is the one who wakes Joohyun up, gently shaking her shoulder as he whispers her name. It’s more than enough to rouse the girl, who has become quite the light sleeper. She sits up in a panic, breathing deeply and scanning the room. When her eyes focus on Shotaro, she exhales. The man has a sad smile on his face, smoothing his hand down the expanse of her arm.

“You’re okay, Joo,” He soothes. “Seunghan just asked me to wake you up. I think he wants your help picking the apples.”

Joohyun nods, swallowing thickly. “Yeah, of course. Let him know I’m coming.”

The woman stays put well after Shotaro leaves the room, attempting to regulate her breathing. Her eyes flick over to the empty bed on the opposite side of the room, perfectly made up and smeared with a bit of residual blood. Joohyun sighs, finally pulling herself from her own bed and crossing the room. She lightly thumbs against the most visible bloodstain at the head of the bed. When she feels her stomach lurch, the remnants of last night’s dinner threatening to make an appearance, she quickly turns away to start getting ready.

It’s minutes later that she meets Seunghan in the kitchen, who is chatting away with Anton. Their youngest is puffy and red, the remnants of his tears still drying on his face. Seunghan, contrastingly, looks well rested, the only signs of distress being the wrinkle that has formed around his mouth and his chapped lower lip, bitten raw.

“Good morning, princess,” Seunghan coos from across the room.

Joohyun turns to Anton in lieu of an answer. “How are you feeling, ‘ton?”

The boy just shrugs at the question, letting out a heavy exhale. They have all gotten quite good at reading between the lines, knowing that their faces tell each other much more than words ever could. Just from looking at the younger boy, Joohyun knows how hard he’s taking the loss. It’s more than just sadness; it’s guilt.

At the lack of response, Joohyun crosses the room, gathering Anton into a tight hug. The boy returns it forcefully, underestimating his strength as always. Joohyun coughs a bit from the pressure at her ribs. When they pull away, Seunghan has an eyebrow cocked at the pair, clearly concerned.

“Are you alright?”

Joohyun simply waves the man off. “I’m fine.”

“Sorry,” Anton has a sheepish smile spread across his full lips. “I didn’t mean to squeeze you like that.”

“It’s okay, ‘ton, really. I’ll be a stress ball for you whenever you need it.”

The comment seems to pull a genuine chuckle from the boy, a smile taking over his face easily. Pride blooms in Joohyun’s chest, happy to finally see some positive emotion from the younger boy. She sighs in relief. 

“Do you wanna come with me and Seunghan to pick the apples? They’re looking really good.”

Joohyun ignores the tense look that Seunghan shoots her from his position at her side. She instead chooses to focus solely on Anton, whose gaze flickers back and forth between the two. Although Joohyun has no idea what Seunghan looks like right now, she imagines he’s cursing her with his eyes. 

“No thanks,” Anton mumbles in that muted way of his. “I actually wanted to spend some time with Sungchan. I wanted to make sure he’s okay.”

A slow smile blooms on Seunghan’s face. “You’re such a good kid, Chanyoung. Let us know if you or Sungchan need anything, okay?”

The minute that Anton promises to do so, Seunghan grabs Joohyun by the hand and practically pulls her through the back door of the farmhouse. He doesn’t let go through their journey down the porch steps, through the farm beds, and around the lake, until they are surrounded by apple trees laden with fruit. He produces two canvas bags from his pocket, holding one out for Joohyun to take. The minute she does, the man reaches over to peck her on the cheek. 

“Our first solo date,” Seunghan muses, “apple picking—how romantic.”

Joohyun just scoffs, reaching for the nearest ripe apple and snapping its delicate stem. “You’re the only one who’s considering it a date.”

Seunghan scoffs, beginning to pick his own apples. “You told me back in school that this was a really cute date idea. You said that you would die if someone took you apple picking. I’m surprised Wonbin never did.”

“That was years ago.” Joohyun feels heat rise to her cheeks, attempting to bury her face deeper into the collar of her flannel. “You never asked me out then. It definitely doesn’t count now.”

Seunghan turns to face the woman, apple in hand. He’s quick to place it into his bag as he approaches her, a cocky smirk poised on his face. Joohyun is disgusted by how much she wants to kiss him. She knows that she is the only thing stopping herself. 

“Princess, you and I both know that I have been in love with you for at least five years. I have asked you out at least twice. Both times, you claimed that it wasn’t the time for romance.”

Joohyun rolls her eyes. “You didn’t ask me out before everything went to shit, and that’s what matters.”

The tip of Seunghan’s nose is pink, matching the tips of his ears. Joohyuk wonders if it’s from embarrassment or the autumnal breeze that has winded its way through the trees. Based on the thin fabric of Seunghan’s worn sweatshirt, she assumes it’s the latter. 

“I think it matters even more now,” Seunghan whispers, winding a muscled arm around the woman’s waist. 

When he pulls her closer, Joohyun goes easily, lost in the fondness in his gaze. There’s a peek of sunlight through the trees, illuminating just one of Seunghan’s eyes. The glow extends across his face like a broad gash, ending right before his jawline. Joohyun reaches a hand up to trace along its edge, dropping her bag of apples in the process. 

“You know we shouldn’t be doing this,” Joohyun chides, hyper aware of the way Seunghan eyes the movement of her lips. 

“Not without Wonbin, you mean?”

Joohyun shakes her head. “At all.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Joohyun knows she doesn’t. She knows that she wants nothing more than to be showered in Seunghan’s constant affection. She craves his fingertips gently tracing the dip of her hips, his lips leaving brands along the column of her neck, the sturdiness of his thighs underneath her weight. She knows that she desires way too much, but is helpless to stop herself. 

Seunghan waits for Joohyun to move first, gently craning her neck up to meet his lips. Her movements are timid, restrained, as if trying to mask her desire. Seunghan lets her keep up her facade, gently connecting their lips and following her lead. When they part, Joohyun’s eyes remain shut. They’re close enough that Seunghan can count her eyelashes, admiring the way they cast gentle shadows on her cheekbones. 

Joohyun forces herself to open her eyes, slowly letting the early morning sunlight infiltrate her gaze. Seunghan still has that beam of light across his face, lips twisted into a soft smile. She feels a gentle warmth rise in her abdomen that travels all the way to the rosy apples of her cheeks. At her blush, Seunghan’s smile only grows. He leans forward to place a kiss on her forehead, identical to where Wonbin kissed her the day prior. Joohyun wonders if there is a permanent mark on her forehead that leads the two men to kiss her in the same place. She wonders if they read her like a map and X marks the spot. 

“Come on, princess. Let’s go pick the rest of the apples and then make something delicious with them.”

.         .         .

Sohee is leaning his head against Wonbin’s shoulder when Joohyun finds them, the two of them hunched over an old map spread out on the living room floor. They speak softly, as if trying not to disturb the rest of the life in the house. It’s useless, Joohyun thinks. They would all be able to hear each other a mile away.

Joohyun clears her throat, making her way over to sit across from the two. She is only able to meet Sohee’s gaze, eyes shrunken around a smile. He doesn’t move from his position next to Wonbin, instead nuzzling further into his side. Joohyun blinks rapidly to negate the green that begins to cloud her vision.

“What are you guys doing?”

Sohee lights up at the question. “We’re looking for new sources! Wonbin was just saying that it’s time for us to go out and get some more supplies. But obviously we can’t go back to where Jaeri and Sungchan went, so…”

Sohee’s voice trails off sadly, leaving the room with a tense air. For the first time, Joohyun finds herself looking over to Wonbin. She isn’t surprised to see that he had already been looking at her.

“We need more medical supplies,” Wonbin begins. “We used just about everything we had on Jaeri. We could also use some more canned goods and food products before winter sets in.”

“That won’t be for at least another two months!” It’s not like Joohyun actually knows, since calendars became useless during the first few wars. 

“Eunseok thinks the last harvest for the crops will be in a few weeks. We need to be prepared before then.”

It’s at times like this that Joohyun hates the way Wonbin speaks. He’s blunt and factual, not caring to let any amount of emotion cloud his words. The two of them are too similar in that regard, always presenting their thoughts in an unintentionally harsh manner. She frequently wondered if the similarity would break them up, forcing them into brutal fights that would end their relationship. At least everything changed before it had the chance to.

“I think it’s too dangerous to send anyone back out there after what just happened to Jaeri,” Joohyun protests, a hot feeling blooming in her chest. “We can’t just let someone go.”

Wonbin sighs. “It’s not like we’d be going to the same place that they went. That’s why we’re looking at new possible sources. So when we go, we won’t run into that same issue.”

“We?”

Wonbin’s eyes widen, sensing his mistake. Joohyun’s arms are crossed in front of her chest, lips pulled into a thin line as she stares back at the man across from her. At the change in demeanor, Wonbin finally pulls away from Sohee, shooting the boy a kind smile.

“Can you give us a minute?”

Sohee just nods, instantly scurrying out of the room. Wonbin’s gaze follows the boy as he exits, only turning back to the woman in front of him when he is sure that they’re alone. Joohyun’s right eyebrow twitches repeatedly, a sign of just how stressed she is by the news. The woman’s stony expression reminds Wonbin of everything they craved to leave behind when they came to the farmhouse. The angry twist to her lips is all too reminiscent of her reaction to a threat. Wonbin craves to soothe it with his kiss.

“Baby,” Wonbin coos. “I can't ask Sungchan to go back out there after what happened.”

“So you plan to go instead.” Another eyebrow twitch.

“I wouldn’t go alone.”

“Then with who?”

Wonbin sighs. “Probably Seunghan.”

In the blink of an eye, Joohyun is on her feet, crossing the small space in search of an exit. Wonbin scrambles after her, barely catching her arm before she can move into the kitchen. Her long, dark locks slap him in the face as she turns around, venom in her eyes. Wonbin would be scared if he hadn’t been in this exact position so many times before.

“Let go of me,” she seethes.

Wonbin does as told, but steps closer into her space, knowing that another escape attempt is likely. Joohyun has always been flighty when it comes to standing her ground. She chooses not to fight unless she has to, preferring to run away from the situation and never look back. Somehow, Wonbin has prevented her from escaping. 

“Can you just listen to me before you storm off like you always do?”

Hurt clouds Joohyun’s expression before she steels it again. The scar on her right cheek aches with the effort of remaining emotionless. It’s throbbing, hot and angry. Joohyun feels a phantom pain of the knife sliding across her skin, deep enough to reveal the cheek fat below. It still stings. She wants nothing more than for Wonbin to kiss the pain away.

“There isn’t shit you can say that would make this better.”

Wonbin rolls his eyes. “Somebody needs to go. Sungchan obviously can’t, not right now. So Seunghan volunteered and I couldn’t let him go by himself. I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to him. You wouldn’t forgive me if something happened to him.”

“And what if something happens to both of you? What then?”

When Wonbin reaches for Joohyun’s hands again, she relents with only minimal resistance. The man gathers her hands in his, pulling her impossibly closer. Like this, Wonbin can see the minute rhythm in the twitch of her eyebrow, the throbbing of her scar, the wetness pooling in her eyes. Not a single tear falls.

“Nothing’s going to happen to us,” Wonbin soothes. “We’re going to be fine, baby.”

Joohyun lets out a shaky exhale, eyes squeezing shut as she breathes. She is reminded once again why she was never able to really break up with Wonbin in the past. He was too good at tearing down her walls, too good at minimizing all of her worries, too good at soothing her and talking her down. Of course, in the harshness of the end of the world, she embraced his comfort and level-headedness. But it’s different now. She won’t let him talk her down again.

“That’s what Sungchan told Jaeri, and look at what happened to them.”

.         .         .

The temperature drops as the sun falls lower and lower in the sky. The once pleasant breeze has taken on a nose-nipping chill, making Joohyun shiver despite the thick blanket wrapped around her. The rocking chair creaks as it sways forward and backwards. It’s a gentle rhythm that could lull her to sleep, but the body in the chair adjacent to her makes sure that doesn’t happen. 

“How is it to sleep in your room?” Eunseok asks softly, chair swaying in a rhythm similar to Joohyun’s own. 

“It’s fine.”

Sleep has never been the best for Joohyun. Once the wars broke out, she was kept up all night from anxiety. When everything collapsed, and she found herself fleeing, she always offered to keep watch while others slept at night. She would stay awake for days on end until Wonbin noticed and made it his personal mission to get her to sleep. It was mostly unsuccessful until they got to the farmhouse. It was the first real bed Joohyun had slept in in months, so she slept for twelve hours straight that first night. 

Of course, having Jaeri sleeping peacefully across from her always helped. When Joohyun woke up with a scream, sweating from the effort of escaping her night demons, Jaeri would crawl into her bed and soothe her. She would keep her in an embrace and sing softly until Joohyun fell back asleep. 

Now it takes a good five minutes for someone to make it to Joohyun when she wakes up screaming.

“Are you sure it’s fine?” Eunseok prods. “I can see those bags underneath your eyes.”

Joohyun scoffs. “We all have dark circles.”

Eunseok hums, considering the fact. “That’s true. But you’re the only one out here with me while everyone else is upstairs sleeping.”

“They’re not sleeping. Or at least Seunghan and Wonbin aren’t.”

Eunseok outright laughs at this, leaning back fully in his chair. The sound is deep and familiar, planting a seed of a smile on Joohyun’s face. 

“Declined their invitation to join?”

Joohyun rolls her eyes, ignoring the way Eunseok continues to laugh. “I really just can’t deal with them right now.”

“Well, not to be crass, but,” Eunseok shrugs. “Nothing will put you to sleep better than a good orgasm.”

Now it’s Joohyun’s turn to laugh, rocking chair creaking as she leans forward. “You’re right, I guess.”

The pair settle into silence, another gust of chilly wind rustling the chimes near the door. Joohyun peers out into the expanse of darkness that surrounds them, wondering if there’s something unseen that’s looking back at them. In reality, she knows that it’s just patches of crops until you reach the lake, and then the orchard just beyond that. But something in her wonders if there’s something stalking in the small cornfield, eyes tracking her every move.

“You know,” Joohyun says softly, voice barely audible over the squeak of the chairs. “There’s still some blood on Jaeri’s bed.”

“Does that freak you out?” Eunseok takes a swig from his metal canteen.

“No,” Joohyun replies truthfully. “I just wonder how her last moments were. She was bleeding out on the bed while I was screaming in my sleep. It couldn’t have been the most peaceful way to go.”

Joohyun remembers being woken up by Sungchan, who had come to check on Jaeri in the middle of the night. Joohyun thrashed and screamed, eventually elbowing Sungchan in the nose while he tried to calm her down. When she finally settled, they both looked over to Jaeri’s bed. She was already dead.

“It’s not your fault,” Eunseok muses. “We’re all going to die an uncomfortable, untimely death whether we want to admit it or not. Jaeri just met her fate before the rest of us.”

“Because of me.”

Eunseok makes a noise in protest. “Because some scumbag shot her in the leg with a rusty bullet. That’s not on any of us.”

As much as Joohyun knows it’s the truth, she can’t help the feelings of guilt that brew in her stomach like a potion. She had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. She was supposed to stop them. But she didn’t, too convinced that Jaeri would be safe in Sungchan’s care.

His yells for help still echo in her mind late at night. She remembers seeing them approach the farm in the darkness, Jaeri laying limp and bleeding in Sungchan’s arms. She remembers how they placed her on the kitchen counter and tried to fish out the bullet with a butter knife. She remembers the greenish-yellow pus that began to leak from the wound in the coming days. She remembers the screams that could be heard from miles away as they tried to amputate her leg with a butcher’s knife. She remembers the blood that Jaeri began to cough up, so frequent that she was unable to speak.

Sungchan still placed a final kiss on her lips, cold and stained with her own blood.

“Do you think that she and Sungchan got too careless because they were in love?”

Eunseok shakes his head almost instantly, and Joohyun wonders how he doesn’t get dizzy with the motion combined with the rocking of his chair. She knows that Eunseok finds it hard to think sometimes, head permanently hazy from the impact of the concrete. Joohyun remembers when they found him in the rubble, clearly concussed and barely able to speak. She is awed sometimes by how eloquent he still manages to be. 

“As much as love is reckless, it is equally as cautious. They both had more to lose.”

“But they lost it anyway.”

“They did,” Eunseok clears his throat. “They lost it anyways.”

.         .         .

Shotaro calls a house meeting the next morning. Everyone is slow to gather in the living room, taking seats upon old, worn furniture. Joohyun wonders how old everything was before everything happened. Now, it’s too hard to put a date on things, especially since the entire world has been covered with a fine layer of dust. 

Sungchan is the last to join the group, long limbs moving lethargically as he crosses the room. Joohyun winces at the dark purples and reds sitting underneath his eyes, almost like bruises. His hair is untamed, splayed messily across his head. There’s a paleness to his skin that screams dehydration, along with a smattering of pimples forming along his cheek. He even looks thinner than usual, settling onto a chair in the corner without so much as a sound. 

“So I know that these next few months are going to be shitty,” Shotaro starts. “But we’ve gotta plan so that we can make it through.”

Shotaro’s gaze flickers back and forth between Sungchan and the rest of the group, hoping to remedy any tension with his eyes alone. If there is any resistance, he doesn’t pick up on it, choosing instead to continue with his ment. 

“Eunseok says that the last harvest should be in about four weeks, meaning that we will have fresh crops for another two months or so. We still need to go out for canned goods and medical supplies. Both are crucial to us making it through this winter. Thankfully, Wonbin and Seunghan volunteered to make the run for us.”

Anton perks up from his spot near Sohee, visibly confused. “Why would we send two more people for supplies after what just happened?”

“Because we need to survive,” Eunseok chimes in. “We can’t do that without food and supplies.”

Shotaro nods softly. “Exactly, so it’s better that we do all of this now so that we’re not scrambling right before the first snow hits.”

“I think that’s a stupid fucking idea,” Joohyun seethes. “It’s like we’re just sending people out to die.”

As Joohyun surveys the room, it becomes more and more apparent that she’s fighting a losing battle. The only one who seems to be considering her point is Anton, who has always erred on the cautious side. Most of the group, however, still sits silently in their various positions around the room, eyes trained on the stained carpet beneath their feet. 

“We’re not going to die,” Wonbin mutters. 

“You don’t know that.”

They’re the first words that Sungchan has uttered in days. His voice is rough from lack of use, syllables slightly slurred as if they were thick in his mouth. The man clears his throat, but clearly makes no move to speak again. In the silence, Shotaro speaks up. 

“They are not going to die,” he presses. “We’re not going to lose anyone else. Not to something like that.”

Sohee cocks his head curiously. “You said that last time.”

They could make a list of all of the people that they’ve lost since they first moved as a group about two years ago. For each one, Shotaro gave a similar speech, saying it wouldn’t happen again and that would be the last one. It never was of course. Before they found the farm, they found themselves burying a new person just about once a month, death appearing cyclically like a menstrual bleed. 

Shotaro simply sighs at the reminder, pinching his nose bridge between his index finger and thumb. His obvious frustration is somewhat funny to see, reminding Joohyun of when they would spend hours in the multimedia lab, being scolded over the tiniest mistakes in the yearbook. It’s odd to see the same exasperation in such a different setting. 

“Listen, I know we’re all scared after what happened to Jaeri, but it’s not going to happen again. Seunghan and Wonbin are going to be extremely careful and come back to us safe and sound, okay? We’re not going to lose anyone else.”

Although Shotaro’s comment seems to appease some of the younger members of their group, Joohyun can’t help but feel a little unnerved by his stance. She would have to send the two people she loved most out into the world, not knowing if they will ever make it back in one piece. She swallows, dread settling in the pit of her stomach like an anchor. 

Everyone seems to take that as a dismissal, slowly starting to scatter. Sungchan remains rooted in his spot, eyes downturned. He picks aimlessly at a loose thread in his sweatpants, not caring that destroying their clothes isn’t a luxury they have. Joohyun watches as Shotaro leans into Sungchan’s space, whispering something into the younger man’s ear. Sungchan doesn’t look up, just nodding his head a few times before leaving. 

As Joohyun watches the interaction, a hand begins to comb through the length of her hair. She doesn’t need to look to know exactly whom the hand belongs to. Only Seunghan would attempt to comfort her in a time like this, the others all too used to Joohyun running away from their touch. 

“You okay?” Seunghan asks softly. 

Joohyun is sick of everyone asking her that. 

“You know we’re just worried about you, princess” Seunghan states, as if able to read her mind. “We just want you to be okay.”

Joohyun finally turns to face the man. “If you wanted me to be okay, you wouldn’t go.”

Seunghan sighs, rounding the couch to settle beside the woman. He gathers her hands in her lap, rubbing over her pulse point with his thumb. He looks tired, mouth twisted in a grimace that pains Joohyun to see. 

“We’re going so that everyone can be okay.”

The couch dips on Joohyun’s other side, the furniture groaning with the added weight. A hand reaches across her lap to join the pile of hands in Seunghan’s, the familiar callouses a soothing addition.

“We have to be there for everyone, baby.” Wonbin’s voice is barely a whisper. “I know you’re worried, but you have to trust us. We’re going to be fine. We’re not going to end up like Jaeri.”

Joohyun’s tongue has suddenly grown to weigh one hundred pounds. She struggles to swallow down the sob that’s clawing its way up her throat. Seunghan squeezes her hand slightly, and it’s enough pressure to force the first few tears out of her eyes.

“I just don’t like this,” Joohyun admits. “None of us know what’s out there anymore.”

Wonbin presses a kiss to the side of Joohyun’s hair while Seunghan continues to stroke their hands. Something about the affection makes Joohyun feel like crawling out of her skin and running for the hills. If she could see through her tears, she imagines she would. She would tear her body apart to escape their affection if she could. But she stays, remaining frozen in place as the boys attempt to love her.

“We don’t,” Seunghan agrees. “But that can’t stop us from providing for you all.”

Back in school, Seunghan was always the provider. He would come to yearbook committee meetings with his arms stacked with sweet treats and individualized coffee orders. When someone had a particularly hard day, he would bring a smattering of their favorite foods, showering them in whatever he could to make them feel better. If it didn’t work, he would gather their hands in his and let them vent. Joohyun wonders how many times she had done this before, in a much different context.

Being smothered by Wonbin’s kisses was something that Joohyun was much more used to. When words were too harsh for either of them, they worked it out through heavy touches and steamy kisses. Even when they involved Seunghan, who was always words over actions, the couple had a hard time giving up their ways.

“Just promise me,” Joohyun manages out, breath stuttering in her chest. “Promise me that you guys will get out of there the minute you sense any danger. Don’t try and do any noble shit and stick it out.”

Seunghan chuckles, squeezing the intertwined hands once, twice, three times before he lets go. “Trust me, our priority will be to get in and out as quickly and as safely as possible so that we can come home to our princess.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Joohyun emphasizes.

Wonbin presses another kiss to her hairline. “We know you will be.”

.         .         .

Even though the two are set to head out at sunrise, Joohyun can’t help but let them spend hours pressing her into the mattress the night before. As they seal marks into her skin and love her body gently, her vision begins to blur. She’s unable to see past the sea welling up in her eyes, ebbing and flowing until it streams down her face in clear rivulets.

Her waterworks seem to trigger the same in her lovers, and soon all of their kisses take on a certain salty tinge. For a moment, Joohyun fears they will drown in their love. It would be a silent death, much like Jaeri’s. Unlike Jaeri’s, however, this would be a death that Joohyun would be more than happy to fall victim to.

When the three tire, Joohyun finds herself sandwiched between two warm bodies, both in a deep slumber. The syncopation of their heartbeats is enough to keep Joohyun awake and on edge, counting each arrhythmic beat. It reminds her of the sound of footsteps when someone trips. They constantly try to right themselves, but are stuck in an endless fumbling of limbs that hit the ground at odd times.

Joohyun’s eyes remain trained on the ceiling until a hint of light creeps up on the horizon. As the light begins to paint their room in a blue-ish hue, she turns to wake up the men on either side of her, suddenly shy when she takes in their nakedness. She watches as their figures bumble about in the low light, appreciating the stretch of their limbs and the strength in their cores. She reminds herself that she needs to drink it in, since this may be the last time she ever gets to experience it.

No one else is awake to send them off. Just Joohyun stands on the back porch of the farmhouse, barefoot and wrapped up in a blanket that smells strongly of Seunghan. She watches as the two boys check each other, making sure they have all the weapons and supplies they will need for the day ahead. When both deem themselves ready, they turn back to the woman before them.

“We‘ll see you tonight, princess,” Seunghan says with a forced grin.

He seems to hesitate for a moment before reaching out and pulling Joohyun into his chest. His arms are snug around her midsection, almost crushing her if it weren’t for the woman’s sturdy build. The pair part only a minuscule number of inches before Seunghan swoops down to press a kiss to her lips. 

This could be the last, Joohyun reminds herself. Don’t enjoy it too much.

Wonbin’s eyes are wide and glassy when Seunghan and Joohyun part, arms twitching at his side. When he hugs Joohyun, it’s much softer, almost timid. He kisses her forehead before leaning down into a proper kiss. He’s never been the best with words, so he uses his mouth in other ways instead.

He doesn’t look at Joohyun when they part, only whispering a small ‘see you later’ before barreling down the steps of the porch. Seunghan follows him closely, looking over his shoulder just once to blow a kiss to the woman left behind. 

Joohyun watches as their figures disappear past the orchard before bursting into tears, evaporating like the morning dew as the sun comes over the horizon.

.         .         .

“They should be back by now,” Anton mumbles. He has yet to stop pacing on the porch, arms crossed firmly over his chest.

Eunseok, just watches from his position on the rocking chair, swinging back and forth in a distinct rhythm. “They’ll be back soon.”

“You said that an hour ago,” Joohyun spits, fingers fumbling with the chain hanging from her neck. “Shut up if you’re not going to say anything that’s true.”

“Joo,” Shotaro scolds.

The woman just huffs at the mention of her name, not taking the scolding to heart. The others don’t understand. They don’t get how it feels to be stuck in Joohyun’s place. She was tricked into love just for it to possibly be taken right away from her.

She wonders if she ever really had a choice in the matter. She wonders if Sungchan did, or if he was tricked just like she was. When she thinks about the way Jaeri smiled, or the soft coo of her voice, it seems like a no brainer. Everyone was a little bit in love with her. Sungchan just fell harder than others.

For a moment there’s silence, the only disturbance being the soft thump of Anton’s feet against the wooden planks of the porch. There’s a soft breeze that ruffles leaves, tall corn stalks swaying in the darkness. If Wonbin were here, he would be playing the guitar, strumming a soft melody that would have Sohee trying to harmonize with the sounds of nature. 

But there’s no melody here, just a faint crunch of leaves. Then, another crunch. The crunches grow more frequent, each one louder until they are interrupted by a groan. Joohyun is down the stairs and halfway through the corn stalks before anyone can stop her.

Their yells for her to return are nothing over the sound of her own blood rushing in her ears. It’s hard to tell her own footsteps apart from the ones approaching her, her own scrambling loud as she pushes through rows of crops. She can’t see through the darkness that surrounds her now that she is away from the house.

Joohyun doesn’t realize she has run into something until she is knocked firmly on the ground, winded from the force of the fall. Wide eyes peer down at her, a hint of white in the darkness.

“Baby,” Wonbin says. “Are you okay?”

“You’re back,” she breathes out scrambling to her feet.

She can just make out Seunghan next to Wonbin, the man leaning almost all of his weight on the older. He lets out a soft groan as he shifts his weight, seemingly unable to put any pressure on his left side.

“Are you okay?” Joohyun’s voice wobbles as she takes in the pained expression on Seunghan’s face, illuminated by the tiniest bit of moonlight.

“I’m fine, princess,” Seunghan rasps with an attempted smile. “Why don’t we just get back to the house. I’m sure the others are worried about you.”

Joohyun nods in agreement, instantly moving to support Seunghan’s other side. Although it’s only a few yards back to the house, it feels like miles as the three hobble along. It’s clear that both men are tired, Seunghan’s head hanging low between his shoulders. Wonbin grunts with just about every step, muscles straining with the additional weight.

Once the trio emerges from the cornfield, they are greeted by a cacophony of relieved cries. Eunseok and .Shotaro are quick to rush over, relieving Joohyun and Wonbin from their positions supporting the obviously injured boy. The minute the weight has been lifted from Wonbin, he falls to his knees, panting heavily.

“Fuck,” he pants. “We made it.”

Joohyun finds herself running her fingers through the man’s dark locks, pushing sweaty strands away from his face. She releases a shaky exhale, pressing her thumb into the soft skin behind her lover’s ear. Her stomach lurches as she looks at him, heart pounding wildly in her chest.

“Come on. Let’s get you inside,” she whispers, resisting the urge to plant a kiss on his hairline just like she knows he would if the roles were reversed.

When the pair enter the house, they are greeted with the sight of Seunghan laid atop of the kitchen counter. For a moment, Joohyun thinks she’ll be sick. But she takes in the lack of blood and the fact that Seunghan is talking animatedly with Sohee and the nausea settles. 

She sidles up to the boy on the counter, instantly smoothing a hand down his arm. She glances down at his body, not noting anything out of the ordinary. It is only when Seunghan stutters out a gruff curse that Joohyun realizes that the injury is deeper than expected.

Shotaro gawks at the sight of Seunghan’s ankle after he wrangles off the younger’s hunting boots. The joint is smattered with a nasty collage of purples and blues, the injury pulsing as it rests in Shotaro’s hands. His ankle is about the size of a football, and Joohyun feels nausea bubble up in her core once more.

“What happened out there?” Shotaro asks, ignoring Seunghan’s hisses of pain as he pokes and prods at the wound.

Wonbin sighs as he drops his backpack in the ground with a soft thud. “It was honestly fine. Everything was going well and we got all the necessary supplies. But we heard people coming and started running and that one fucked up his ankle when we were hopping a fence.”

“So you did this to yourself?” Eunseok snorts.

Seunghan just rolls his eyes, not dignifying the room with a proper response. Shotaro smiles down at the man on the table, moving away slightly to grab an ace bandage from a drawer across the kitchen. Joohyun finds herself letting Seunghan squeeze her hand as Shotaro wraps the injury.

“Is it broken?” Seunghan asks.

“You know I’m not a doctor,” Shotaro quips back. “But it looks like it. I don’t think you’re gonna be back on your feet for a while.”

Seunghan lets out a groan that isn’t in pain for once. He turns watery eyes towards Joohyun, squeezing her hand for dramatic effect. The force of his stare makes the woman avert her eyes, but Seunghan squeezes her hand until she returns eye contact again.

“I’m sorry we won’t be able to go apple picking for a while, princess. I’ll find a way to make it up to you, I promise.”

If she didn’t know any better, she would think the gag from across the room came out of her own mouth.

.      .     .

Joohyun ascends the stairs slowly, prolonging her journey to Sungchan’s door as much as possible. She felt her heart begin to pound the minute she was tasked to retrieve Sungchan for dinner. She desires nothing more than to not have to face the broken man upstairs. More than anything, she wants to avoid the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she has every time she is around him.

Sungchan opens his doors after a few knocks and a long pause, eyes sunken and red-rimmed. His lack of a shirt highlights the protrusions of his ribs, visible under the paleness of his skin. He sniffles instead of a greeting and Joohyun curses the sinking feeling as it begins to make an appearance.

“Eunseok asked me to come get you since dinner is ready. I think he made soup or something.”

Sungchan sighs. “I’m not hungry.”

Before the door can slam in her face, Joohyun sticks a foot in the doorway, cursing loudly when it’s inevitably crushed. Sungchan is quick to open the door back up, looking down at the intrusion.

“Eunseok said not to let you say that,” Joohyun blurts. “He said you have to come down, even if you don’t eat anything. It’s important, apparently.”

Sungchan lets out another sigh, rolling his swollen eyes. “Fine. I’ll be down in five.”

It’s more like ten minutes, but Joohyun counts it as a win when she sees his slight figure enter the kitchen. It’s Anton who actually seems the most excited to see the older man, immediately bounding over to him and smiling widely in his face. She’s sure that he’s saying something about being excited that Sungchan is joining them, but she can’t bear to listen with the warmth crawling up her throat.

Dinner itself is mainly silent, the group deciding to eat scattered across the porch. Seunghan is inconveniently using both rocking chairs, his injury propped up on the smaller one. The wind that blows has a hint of a chill, more so than last week. If Joohyun squints, she can see some apples dropping from the trees on the other side of the lake.

“Guys,” Sohee asks softly, his normally bright expression pensive. “We’re going to be okay, right?”

It’s Sungchan who responds, speaking from his perch on the railing. “I don’t know.”

“None of us do,” Wonbin agrees.

“But,” Shotaro interjects, ever the positive one. “We’ve made it this far. Even though we don’t know what’s gonna happen, we’ll get through it, whatever it is.”

Sungchan snorts, hopping down from the railing. Without a word, he leaves everyone on the porch, letting the back door slam behind him. There is a soft clang of the bowl hitting the sink and then silence, only interrupted by a gust of wind. Across from them, the corn stalks sway, moving in a rhythm much like Seunghan’s rocking chair. Back and forth, back and forth.

.         .         .

Seunghan is walking with only a slight limp by what they estimate to be Thanksgiving. He seems eager to be back on his feet, hobbling back and forth through the kitchen as he tries to help Sohee and Eunseok whip up dinner. Every time he moves too fast, or makes a sharp change of direction, Joohyun finds herself biting back a gasp. She grips the edge of her seat, constantly ready to take action if the man reinjures himself.

“Calm down, Joo,” Sohee giggles. “You look like you’re about to have a stroke.”

A smile instantly breaks out on Seunghan’s face at the comment, rounding the kitchen island so he can wrap an arm around his lover’s shoulders. “Aw, is my princess worried about me?”

Joohyun’s fingers itch with the urge to punch him in the ribs. “Shut up.”

Seunghan leans forward to steal a quick kiss before parting to help the others cook once again. Joohyun hides her face as a rosy blush crawls up to the apples of her cheeks, trying to tame the zoo that has erupted in her core. 

She’s brought back to the very first time that Seunghan had kissed her. It had been after a particularly nasty fight with Wonbin, where Joohyun wanted nothing more than to make him hurt as much as he had hurt her. What better way to do so than kissing his best friend and teammate?

She remembers how all of her blood rushed to her face, lighting her up like a stoplight. There was a pulsing in her stomach that wouldn’t stop, eventually giving way to molten hot desire as the two continued to kiss. As they progressed even further, Seunghan left bruises all over the expanse of her throat and chest, leaving white hot pain in his wake. She remembers pressing down on the bruises the next morning, marveling at how the placements were extremely similar to where Wonbin liked to mark her up.

She remembers how the bruises were still there when she and Wonbin made up. She remembers how he kissed over the bruises, darkening them with firm bites. When he whispered into her skin and asked her who left them, she was left to only answer truthfully. At the mention of his best friend’s name, Wonbin just pulled away, smiled, then kissed her harder.

Joohyun continues to trace Seunghan’s figure with her gaze, extra mindful of his unsteady gait. She’s stifling a chuckle as Seunghan flicks pumpkin seeds at Sohee when Shotaro comes rushing in the room. His face is flushed and hair tousled, clearly flustered.

“Guys,” he pants. “Someone’s here.”

.FIN.

Part 2

[lepoppeta]

For the song asks: Charlestor

charlastor/radiobelle has the benefit of relating to a lot of tropes and aesthetics in media that i already really enjoy and have a lot of content for. that being said, the songs ive chosen for them relate more to the pilot versions of these two characters, where it was speculated that alastor was going to be more of a mysterious, unflappable background mentor figure. ive heard their relationship being compared to that of clarice starling and hannibal lecter from silence of the lambs and hannibal, and i think some of that can vibe definitely be used here.

the first song that ever came to mind for these two (in recent memory) was a dangerous game from the jekyll and hyde musical (sung by anthony warlow and linda eder).

at the touch of your hand, and the sound of your voice, at the moment your eyes meet mine - i am out of my mind, i am out of control, full of feelings i cant define.

its a sin with no name, like a tiger to tame, (and though no-ones to blame) its a crime and a shame, and the angels proclaim its a dangerous game.

im a bit of a sucker for melodramatic gothic musicals, and the vision this song brings to mind is charlie wandering the empty halls of her dilapidated hotel and cautiously dancing with alastor and his army of half-sentient shadows. it relates to charlies pov more than alastors (as in this case he would be singing about her) and how they would have to tread carefully no matter what kind of close relationship they choose to partake in.

next up is me and mr wolf (the real tuesday weld).

you have the thing i love but the fear in me is way too much. if i open wide one of us may get lost inside. me or you, one of us is going to need to die.

my favourite version of this relationship is them being mutually fucked - alastor has never really given much thought to romantic love and hes shocked that hes willing to break so many of his own rules for this silly little slice of heaven in hell; charlie responds well to alastor setting clear boundaries against her sometimes-invasive behavior, and, like any good theatre kid, he "yes-and"s her (instead of vaggies pretty consistent "no"s). however, this song also touches on the fact that charlie is (or should be) at least alastors equal in power, if not far beyond him, and its a warning that neither of them should overstep in either love or anger.

the last one ill leave you with is actually one that was made canon by helluva - its look my way (paranoid DJ, but the alternate version sung by bryce pinkham) and its a bit of an ooc situation from alastors point of view.

unless its me, and no matter what in this world i could give - its not enough to get through the walls youve conjured up to live. is this what you feel? scorned by a world that cannot comprehend what you are, so ill grant you this mercy - this bind on our souls needs to end.

this is taking into account the deal that charlie makes with alastor in the penultimate episode of the first season of hazbin. the idea is that alastor (or at least, the speculative pilot version of alastor) strongly admires charlies perseverance against her own people - the very beings shes trying so hard to save. while charlie is a relatively open book he knows that she probably doesnt let anyone, not even her own girlfriend/best friend, see the emotional toll this project has taken on her (again, this tying in more to the pilot personalities of these characters), and hes upset that her deal with him has only made things worse in that regard. he makes the choice, to his own detriment, to sever the deal without her knowledge, so that if she doesnt keep her end of the bargain it will be of no consequence to her.

[harocat]

I really want to babble about how thematically, this ending makes no sense, and it's so contrary to what we've seen up to this point, and how it's not just that it's sad and that TTJ deserves better (though both are true); it's a story about a man who wanted to die that ends up with him… basically committing assisted suicide to save the world, because well, I guess he was right to want to die all along, even though his reasons were ALWAYS because of the cruelty of others, not because of his own self.

Then he finally gains agency and a life that he wants to live, a simple life filled with love and fulfillment that is enough for him, and he doesn't want to die any longer. And it’s taken away from him and he is forced to go back into that mindset of seeking death. He was ready to live. He’d defied fate and he was ready to live. It’s bad. It’s not fulfilling. We already KNEW he would do anything to save LSS and her world. We didn’t need that proven.

It doesn't matter how hard you fight against your fate, how much you love and how much you strive to be a better person, if you are doomed to suffer and die, you will, is what TTJ's story tells us. And if you want to die, you may as well give in, because happiness never lasts.

I also want to ramble about how unfair it was to LSS, who at the end was deprived of agency and essentially just shifted around wherever she was needed, not being allowed to make decisions of her own. How episode thirty-five WOULD have been a much better ending, and if anything, what we see in TTJ's bo’re life in episode thirty-nine reinforces this.

But more than that it's just upsetting to me because this was such a good show, that presented such compelling ideas and did so in SUCH an entertaining way. And yes the scenery and costumes and aesthetics absolutely slapped. It's gorgeous as hell. But also the character dynamics were interesting and complex, and their relationships were easy to get invested in. There were fascinating relationships among the entire cast as well, not just between the leads and couples (XL and TTJ, LSS and Pian Ran). Yes, there were missteps along the way; the dream arc was about twice as long as it needed to be, and even Clam Gege and his sparkles could not save it, the show plodded along a bit in the early thirties (episodes like thirty-three were super disjointed because of time cuts), Mo Nv was added in as a new character for who knows what reason, etc. But nothing is perfect. This is still one of the better shows I’ve watched in a long time, and I was on edge for every new episode. A genuine enemies to lovers story with chemistry and anguish, hatred and tenderness, sometimes all at the same time. I was obsessed.

And… Tantai Jin is one of the best male leads I’ve seen for years. He’s so layered, so interesting, and so heartbreaking, and Yunxi does a beyond incredible job with every moment of his portrayal of him. He’s legitimately a tour de force in the role. Yunxi and Bai Lu both deserved better than this. But a great lead requires deserves a story that lives up to him, and TtEotM isn't that.

I hate that TTJ is going to probably kind of fade into obscurity, at least among English speaking fans, because people are going to be rightfully wary of recommending this drama now. And I can’t blame people, because if I’d known the ending, I probably wouldn’t have watched either. It left me feeling so empty today, and not in a ‘wow hurts so good’ way that true, well done, and cathartic tragedy does.

One can hope youku releases a ‘fix it’ clip like has happened with some other shows, that at least gives a happier ending for TTJ and LSS. Even then, that’s kind of putting a bandaid over a gaping wound, because a lot of the issues with the ending will still exist, but at least it might make it so I can recommend it with a ‘yeah the ending isn’t great, but it’s overall really good.’ And no the audio clip does not cut it.

[tirkdi]

I don't know why but I've been imagining this a lot for some weird reason. If somehow darklina do end up together just SOMEHOW do you think at one point they'll get bored of each other? Will darkling's obsession with Alina eventually wear out? maybe Alina will want to try something else with someone else. How would darkling react to that? He's possessive as fuck but sometimes I wonder he would understand that unlike him, Alina never really got to be truly free and explore things for herself. I mean I don't think he'll let Alina go lol but do you think aat some point in centuries they might open their relationship?

This is such a hard question because when we're talking about immortals, I tend to believe that almost everything is possible, so this is where metas trying to answer the question (as opposed to fics) get tricky. Is it possible? Totally. Is it likely? Hard to say. I think the question we're getting at is – what are the conditions under which it might happen?

I'm taking the premise of this question to be that somehow, probably during R&R, they get together and rule Ravka (why not?). So we're dealing with not-quite-end-of-R&R Darkling & Alina. It will take them a while to work themselves into a relationship in the first place, and there are a lot of ways that could shake out. But assuming they get there, to a place that is respectful and reciprocal (if not gentle and loving), how long would that feel like 'enough' for Alina, and in what ways?

There are a few things going on here that I'll call out. One thing, to your point of he wouldn't let Alina go, is that we have an example of what an extremely long-lived relationship looks like for him already: Baghra. When the trilogy starts, he's like 800 years old and still living with his mom! Whenever we see them together they're fighting, but they don't leave each other, and right up until the second before she did it, he couldn't fathom that Baghra would jump off a mountain rather than just coming home with him. Similarly, I think it's unlikely that he'd stop needing Alina at any point. At the same time, Alina is different than him – but I do think it's reasonable/probably correct to envision an Alina who never needs him as much as he needs her, even a gazillion years later.

Another question then would be, at what point will Alina feel like she wants (and, importantly, deserves) happiness/something more? There's some character work that has to shake out there, because I'm having a hard time envisioning an Alina that ended up with Aleks at the end of R&R doing anything but being really hard on both of them for many, many years. How does she develop from there? Depending on the setup, I could see his and Alina's relationship getting to a point where they fight like he did with Baghra, but also similarly neither of them has any intention of ever leaving the other. Balance sounds nice in theory, but can be tricky to implement! Their relationship might end up less like a balance and more like a seesaw.

So then, there's the question of – is Alina looking for someone other than him to make her happy or to piss him off? The pissing him off seems pretty straightforward (and I think we have some fics like that that I've seen?). Assuming she isn't doing it to upset him, that she genuinely wants more than him, then I think there's the question of are we talking about sex or are we talking about a relationship with someone else? I do think you could come up with a setup where eventually he'd come to terms with sex, reassuring himself about how the Zoya lookalikes he sees leaving Alina's room in the morning are going to die in like a minute anyway, he doesn't even have to do anything.

I could also see a setup where you could make a power dynamic like that that he'd even enjoy, if he let himself. I think a lot about the Oscar Wilde quote: "Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power." If he allowed himself to acknowledge that he liked the ... humiliation? one area of his life where he was not in control? ... then I could also see him being into it, as long as he felt secure enough in the relationship between the two of them. And that right there is the whole reason we (or at least I) love this ship – their power dynamic is endlessly fascinating and there are so many different ways it could go

[kaz-rizzveld]

I just wanted to put in my 2 cents with season 4 of The Umbrella Academy.

Disclaimer: no hate please, this is my opinion!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Starting off with the ending.

So what the actual fuck. One time I saw someone say back before the season came out that they did in fact think the show should end with all the siblings dying together and realizing there’s nothing they could do and someone else replied how weak that thinking is and I completely agree. (I believe the person who explained how that was weak was "mortal-song" here on tumblr, btw)

Anyway, if the show creators thought of this choice as another “tragic ending” that should have been written or a lesson that things don’t always end well, I get it from a standpoint of someone who thinks all outcomes should be portrayed in media, I just don’t agree that it was the right direction for this show. It’s literally become nothing more than a trend and people thinking they’re quirky and different by ending things badly with a handful of unexplained plot holes because they think they’re Shakespeare. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re not. 

I also understand the idea that this is not a kids show and deep and sophisticated plot lines will be explored, so there should be no problem ending the show this way, right? Wrong again. I’m sick of the idea that because this show is for adults, that we can, and should, give it a tragic ending to communicate that things don’t always end well, no matter how hard you try and that’s such a dangerous message. I’ve also seen people talk about how the show is about coming together as a family and working through childhood trauma as now grown ass adults and that the final conclusions the characters came to is that “we’re the problem and we should give up and die.” This the complete wrong message on so many levels. The devolution of these complex characters and unnecessary romance storylines is so ridiculous (don’t even get me started on Five and Lila) and, quite frankly, insulting to the actors, but I’ll get into that in a minute.

My overall point is that the message and ending in general is absolutely WEAK. It’s rushed, sloppy, and weak. If we had to keep all of the other batshit crazy plot lines that don’t even make any sense, but ended the show differently, we could’ve ended the show with the characters allowing the world to end and them die because they believed that they would also make it to the next world, another motivating message that could’ve been explored, by the way. They could’ve ended out also alive and well in the fixed timeline, living their lives as regular people and healing together. Them literally dying and being erased from existence making the past three seasons pointless is just. Weak. 

Now onto the actors, especially Aidan because based on interviews, I feel like I relate to him and this is just what I feel I can speak to. !! Now I am not him, I do not know him, and I don’t know how he feels !! but if I played Five Hargreeves, if I grew as an actor playing such a complex character, and if I learned a lot about who I was and who the people around me were through my character and theirs, and then the writers completely changed who he is in so many ways, whether that’s selfishness, self pity, giving up, or being a complete home wrecker, I’d be quite upset. If I was in Aidan’s shoes, I’d be furious. That’s so insulting because he brought your character to life and explored a traumatic story for you and for viewers AND gave an absolutely amazing performance, and you go and do him like that…. That’s honestly just so odd of you and I feel bad for him and his costars for being insulted like that. 

I could talk about Ritu as well because as an actress she watched her co-star and friend grow up, and then you go and make her have a romantic relationship with him. I know they’re actors and it’s their job but that’s literally so odd. This mainly, but also other aspects of her character that I feel was completely different to who she was as a person in the last two seasons, is also very insulting to Ritu. Like just wow.

Some other smaller examples for the other actors:

It’s insulting to Tom that you reduced his character to a literal stripper and over the top golden retriever after he progressed and grew.

It’s insulting to David that you reduced his character to a “father” who isn’t doing his job well and in a highly broken marriage. Not to mention he was against the Lila and Five plot and you went and did it anyway.

It’s insulting to Emmy that she didn’t get to build on and explore a real or complex relationship with the people her character sacrificed everything for in the first place.

It’s insulting to Robert that you developed his character to someone sober and more mature, just to strip it away and reduce him back to season 1 him- someone the others can’t trust or take seriously, whether he’s drinking or a germaphobe, just for giggles. It wasn't funny by the way.

It’s insulting to Aidan that you reduced his character to a blind and selfish boy who betrayed his own brother and gave up on his family when that's literally the opposite of his character.

It’s insulting to Justin that you reduced his character to the monster he was afraid of becoming since the beginning and probably gave him false hope about being able to share a powerful message this season since he was supposed to be the focus.

It’s insulting to Elliot that though he was able to explore his character as a grown individual who stands up for himself to his father, that it was all for nothing, meant nothing in the long run.

It’s insulting to Ritu that her character development also meant nothing and her character was reduced to a messy adulterer and questionable mother.

It’s a bad and weak message to the audience and it’s a bad and weak message to the actors and it’s insulting to them that they had to communicate said message after all of this.

[theenbynightingale]

CLONE HIGH (2023) EP. 8 SPOILERS

Okay, I know I’m opening up myself to a bunch of arguing but like... We need to have a talk. I should preface this by saying I’m not a die hard fan of Clone High. I only caved into watching the original series a few days before the reboot dropped despite hearing about it for years. I think they’re both good but I have my problems with both.

But I wanna talk about Topher Bus, a Christopher Columbus clone in a Gen Z world. He’s kind of taken over the role of Ghandi as Abe’s best friend in the revival, since the creators don’t want to bring him back unless they know they’re gonna be able to make more seasons. He hasn’t had a lot of screen time or development because the abundance of characters in this version. However, him becoming somewhat close with Abe has resulted in some fans shipping them.

So imagine their surprise when Topher tries to blackmail (or white leverage) Abe at the end of the final episode because he is attracted to Joan as well. I’ve seen so many people actually get angry about this. Many found themselves disappointed that Topher wasn’t straight or that he’d do something so terrible to Abe.

To which I say... Why would you expect anything else from this guy?

Topher’s whole thing was that he was an asshole who tried way too hard to convince people he’s progressive or an ally or “woke”, a term he unironically uses. He goes on and on about how he’s looking out for poc and women because he’s just trying to survive in a world that has flat out rejected his clone father.

“But he has a ‘Everyone is Welcome Here’ rainbow flag in his room!” Yeah, he does. He also has a co-exist poster, too. Good for him. Except there’s also a poster that says “Not a paid activist”. It’s a front! That’s the point! 

“But he keeps trying to drill it into everyone’s heads that he’s straight, like a closeted person!” Yes, he does. But it’s not just closeted people who do that. I went to a Catholic school and I also live in the real world. I’ve seen dudes be afraid to drink tea or hug because it might make them look “gay” or “feminine” or whatever bullshit.

“The way he said he liked Joan and white women in general was so exaggerated that he must be forcing himself to say it!” This is Clone High! Everything in this show is so exaggerated. From the very beginning, it’s been a parody of teen satires. It was created by the duo that would go on to make Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, 21 Jump Street and The LEGO Movie. This is their style.

“The episode would have been better if he blackmailed Abe into not confessing to Joan because he had a crush on Abe.” So you’re saying you would have liked the episode more if Topher had gone “Abe, the reason I almost got you molested by a teacher was because I’m in love with you”? I need you to realize how fucked that is.

Topher is a weasly little shit who tries to convince everyone how progressive he is when he’s actually a total asshole. That was the point. Y’all thinking he was in love with Abe or that he had Abe’s best intentions at heart just means that it worked. You took the bait. I’m not saying shipping Tophabe would be immoral (okay maybe after the whole statutory rape thing but that’s just for right now). There’s a solid chance that their friendship could be salvaged after this. I certainly never thought I’d ship Cleo with anyone but know she and Frida are my OTP. But you gotta stop pretending that this character is someone he isn’t.

I might delete this because I’m just trying to get my feelings out. I’m not calling anyone stupid or whiny just because they got upset by the new episodes. (Shoutout to my boy, @warcrimetime​. Sorry they took JoanFK from you so soon). This is just another case of me getting annoyed by people calling queerbait just because a ship didn’t become canon and me getting everything out of my system. (But also, if Joan does see Topher’s blackmail and her reaction is anger at Abe and not “HOLY SHIT YOU WERE MOLESTED?!” then that would actually be legit bad writing).

TL;DR:

Although, maybe I’m just not upset because I got Kahlopatra and you guys lost your OTP and I just don’t understand, I dunno. 

[pikatrainer99]

Branch mental health character analysis part 2: Trolls World Tour (SPOILERS FOR A FOUR YEAR OLD MOVIE BUT JUST IN CASE 😅)

(Part 1 is right here in case you missed it or need a refresher)

Hey everyone! I'm back with the second part of my Branch character analysis! This time, we're gonna go over his character in the second film, Trolls World Tour, so without further ado, let's get started!

This time around, Branch still lives in his bunker, but he's got more color to him now and he is able to enjoy singing and dancing with Poppy and the others, which is good character development for him. He also wants to confess his love for Poppy, but really struggles to do so. After hearing about the history of the different Troll tribes from King Peppy, as well as Queen Barb of the Hard Rock Trolls' world tour, Poppy decides to set out to unite the other Trolls and prove that differences don't matter. Branch tries to talk some sense into her with his logical thinking as well as his trauma-induced anxiety and trust issues, but to no avail, and he ends up joining Poppy on her quest…but not without sneaking some weapons on board the balloon they're traveling in…because his need to be over-prepared is still clearly there, especially when facing something new. He is clearly anxious, he doesn't know anything about the other Trolls and he feels the need to be hyper-vigilant just like in the first film, never letting his guard down. Poppy kicks the weapons overboard, and Branch is clearly upset by this, saying that he "whittled those for hours", referring to the sharp stick spears among the weapons he had brought.

When they reach Symphonyville, where the Classical Trolls lived, Branch, while feeling empathy for them, is still on guard upon hearing Pennywhistle the flute's voice in the destroyed town. Upon being asked if they're nice or mean, Poppy says they're nice, and Branch says, "Yeah, but not too nice…so don't even try it!" This, to me, is Branch's anxiety and fear of the unknown mixing in with his already established issues, particularly his paranoia. After their talk with Pennywhistle, Poppy finally realizes that Barb and the Hard Rock Trolls want to destroy all music except for Rock, and Branch panics and says that they need to make sure their string is safe, to which Poppy says it is as she pulls it out of her hair, causing Branch to freak out more at the fact that she BROUGHT IT WITH HER. He then says they need to go back home to Pop Village and get everyone in his bunker where they'll be safe (again, his bunker is HIS safe space, but his character development has led to him actually wanting to protect the rest of the Pop Trolls by keeping them safe in there…good job Branch!), but Poppy says that they need to keep going, completely invalidating Branch's concerns and worries (Poppy WHY…?!) and they head off towards the Country Music Trolls' territory.

When they reach Lonesome Flats, where the Country Trolls live, the Country Trolls' leader, Delta Dawn, is singing a sad song called "Born to Die" which Poppy dislikes because of how sad it is. Branch, however, seems a bit conflicted on how he feels about it, saying that he agrees that it's really sad, but then pointing out that life is sad sometimes…so he kinda likes it. This makes sense as Branch has been through so much in his life up to this point that he is depressed and traumatized. I didn't used to like sad songs either until I started really struggling with my own depression and trauma as a teenager (I've had these issues since I was a very young child but it really took over my life as a teen), and then I started finding a weird sense of comfort in them...which I was also confused about at the time, just like Branch seems to be here. After getting thrown in jail by Delta Dawn after performing an impromptu pop medley planned by Poppy to "cheer the Country Trolls up", Branch is once again, prepared for anything as he already has a plan and a shovel in his hair which he starts to dig them out of the jail so they can escape, but then they're rescued by Hickory, who Branch immediately is suspicious of and doesn't trust. His guard is up for a good portion of the time they spend traveling with Hickory, and when he says something about it to Poppy, she twists his words around saying that it's not Hickory Branch doesn't trust, but her. Branch immediately denies that (and rightfully so, he didn't say anything like that at all), and tries to get Poppy to understand that that wasn't what he meant, but she doesn't listen to him.

It's not until after the incident in Vibe City where the Funk Trolls live, that Poppy and Branch have a big fight. Poppy is so one-track-minded, so focused on being a good queen that she can't bring herself to focus on anything else, and Branch is desperately trying to get her to listen to reason. Poppy wants to continue their journey to help the other Trolls but Branch wants to go back home and protect their friends and family. Poppy accuses Branch of giving up and Branch is frustrated that all of this is all because Poppy feels the need to prove herself as a good queen, he tells her that good queens actually LISTEN, which she is not doing. They talk about how different they are and how they're too different to get along, causing Branch to leave, incredibly upset by it as he loves Poppy and cares about her more than anyone else, as his depression hits again (seriously, look at his face, he looks so sad the entire time while he sings "Perfect For Me"…he actually looks like he's close to tears at times in that scene too). When he gets captured by the K-Pop gang (who btw, actually call him "crybaby" before saying anything else to him) and the Reggaeton Trolls, he declares that all music should be saved, opening up to and accepting the two groups of Trolls in front of him even though they're bounty hunters trying to capture him and Poppy and bring them to Barb. They do end up working together as at the end, as Barb prepares to play the ultimate power chord, they show up in the balloon to help stop all music from being destroyed. This is a BIG step for Branch, as his trust issues were on alert 24/7 in only just a few scenes prior!

Branch jumps in front of Poppy, taking the hit from the ultimate power chord for her, getting turned into a rock zombie in the process. This shows how much Branch really loves her, as he didn't even HESITATE to sacrifice himself (he gets turned into a zombie controlled by Barb…I'm counting that as a self-sacrifice) to protect her, which is really sweet but also kinda sad…that kind of self-sacrificial behavior usually means (from what I've seen anyway) that the character puts others' lives way above their own, usually it's a self-worth issue, they don't care what happens to them, as long as their friends and loved ones are okay. We know that Branch has been through A LOT, so this kind of mentality actually makes sense…it's heartbreaking but it makes sense that he'd struggle with self-worth issues and low self-esteem (spoiler alert: we'll definitely get more into that when we get to the third movie). The guitar is soon smashed by Poppy, destroying the strings, but they all realize that music really comes from them, and they sing "Just Sing" (my personal favorite song in the film). Branch finally confesses his love for Poppy, she reciprocates, they high-five, and that's pretty much it for Trolls World Tour.

I hope you all enjoyed the second part of my Branch character analysis! I didn't put images or GIFs in this one because finding them takes a lot out of me, and since I'm struggling mentally right now, I didn't wanna put anymore stress on myself. Again, if you think I missed anything, please feel free to let me know what I missed in the comments below! This isn't the end of Branch's journey though! There's still one more movie to cover, so I'll see you guys hopefully soon for part 3: Trolls Band Together! Catch ya later! 👋

[ladykissingfish]

The Akatsuki’s Favorite Christmas Movies

Deidara and Hidan: Home Alone (1990)/Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (1992)

These two go crazy for these two classic movies. As they’re often shown on tv back to back, when they’re on, they will camp out in the living room with a plethora of snacks (and a couple of Plain Cheese pizzas, a la Kevin McCallister) and watch. Hidan is more so a fan of HA 1, while Deidara prefers its sequel. They tried to watch Home Alone 3 once but couldn’t even make it 30 minutes into the movie, it was so awful. While they watch, they like to talk about the tricks and traps that THEY would have set for the burglars, as well as various ways of “punishing” them for attacking their home (which, in Deidara and Hidan’s case, would be the hideout).

Itachi: The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

The dark fantasy-like world of this movie really appeals to Itachi, which is why it’s his favorite Christmas movie. He knows every single song in the movie word for word, and loves to sing along to them, changing his voice to match the character’s voice(s). He high-key relates to Jack Skellington and his feelings of discontent and wanting something new and different in his life. Managed exactly (1) time to get Kisame to dress up as Sally the rag doll and sing the romantic ending scene-song with him 🥺

Sasori: The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

A classic Christmas story, told with a cast that’s 90% made up of puppets. Is it any wonder why this is Sasori’s favorite holiday film? He watches not so much for the story itself, but he likes to study the movements of the puppets and how fluidly they imitate their human counterparts. His favorite scene is Kermit the Frog ice-skating with the rats on the frozen pond; he rewinds it over and over again. Interesting side note; he can’t watch this while Kakuzu is anywhere around, because Kakuzu absolutely despises this movie. If he walks into the room and it’s on he’s likely to throw his shoe at the tv. In his mind Ebenezer Scrooge was 100% correct in his miserly ways, and “Those damn ghosts should have minded their fucking business!” 😅

Kakuzu: Dr. Seuss’s How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

The Grinch mirrors Kakuzu’s feelings towards the holidays perfectly. He’s seen the other versions of this movie, but really feels like Jim Carey brings the most life to the timeless green curmudgeon. He likes to stand up and put his hand on his chest (as if he’s reciting the pledge of allegiance) every single time the speech is given about how Christmas is nothing more than a cash-grab for greedy, spoiled people. He always cries at the end. Not because of the heartwarming ending, but because he’s upset that the Grinch “gave up” so easily.)

Tobi/Obito: Elf (2003) and A Christmas Story (1983)

Will Ferrel gives a hilarious performance as a grown man who runs around acting like a very big child. So, naturally, Elf would be “Tobi’s” favorite movie. He likes to recreate the candy spaghetti that Buddy eats in the movie … which makes the others sick to their stomachs (and for Kakuzu to smack him upside the head for wasting good food). As Obito, his favorite Christmas movie is, surprisingly, A Christmas Story. He’s easily able to tap into the wonder and nostalgia of being a child that’s waiting for “the best time of the year for a kid”, and it reminds him of being a kid himself, before everything went to hell. He’ll sometimes watch with Itachi, and tease him about how much the main characters younger brother, Randy, reminds Obito of “the little brat I used to babysit” aka Itachi as a little kid.

Konan and Nagato: Die Hard (1988)

“Just because it happens on Christmas Eve doesn’t make it a Christmas movie!” Nagato and Konan have heard this more times than they could count, but the protests fall on deaf ears. Die Hard IS a Christmas movie, and it happens to be their favorite. Nagato is all about the action, and in fact, he’s used Bruce Willis’ strategizing as “training examples” for the rest of the Akatsuki. But for Konan, it’s all about the love story. A man willing to go to extreme lengths to protect the one he loves; that really resonates with the paper angel. The two of them usually cuddle throughout the movie, and start making out by the end, which the others tease them about. 

Zetsu: Gremlins (1984)

Another movie that could or could not be considered a Christmas movie, depending on who you’re asking. The concept of the Mogwai is very familiar to Zetsu: something that starts off as one thing, and replicates into seemingly endless (and terrifying) clones that wreak havoc on innocent people. The movie was ruined for him temporarily though; back when Orochimaru was still in the Akatsuki, they watched this movie together. Orochimaru got it into his mind that he could create a creature just as good, if not better, than Gizmo. What came out of that lab was a horrifying abomination of nature, and, like the movie, the creature got wet and rapidly multiplied into nightmarish shrieking demons that took the entire Akatsuki, together, to take down. Zetsu had nightmares for quite a while after this, and couldn’t even look at the box cover of this movie without breaking out in a cold sweat.

Kisame: The Santa Clause (1994) 

Kisame can’t really explain, even to himself, why he likes this particular movie so much. Actually, to him, this reads more as a horror:  a man who committed an accidental murder and as punishment is slowly transformed into this magical, mythical character until he can barely recognize himself in the mirror? Scary as hell. But he likes the slow progression of Tim Allen’s character from denial to acceptance, and the implied freedom with letting go of your convictions and being who you were meant(?) to be. He enjoys watching this with Itachi; the scene where the elves send a team to break Santa out of jail always has the slim brunette laugh himself into tears, which Kisame just loves.