#i mean. the amount of stuff that gets me actually emotional is almost nothing

[ex-vespidae]

every so often I will watch videos about Sectonia and just start crying and dying again

[a-fandom-reimagined]

ALL OF YOU | BRUCE WAYNE X PLUS SIZE GN! READER (FT. ALFRED)

୨୧ type: fluff & angst | word count: 887 | tw: sfw, mentions of bullying but no actual descriptions of what was said or done. please enjoy

→ please note that I don't think I've ever written anything for a gn reader before so if I messed anything up (like how i couldn't figure out what the gn alternative for master/miss is) I apologize

requested: omg okay, idk if you would want to write this but; since i can't find ANY battinson x plus size reader stuff, could i request a battinson x gn plus size reader where bruce discovers his partner being insecure about themselves and tries to cheer them up? this would be angst mixed with fluff if that's okay with you :>

Everything is fine, you told yourself.

The limo pulled away from the curb merging into early morning rush hour. The annual Wayne Foundation Ball had ran hours longer than you'd intended. And as host, you couldn’t leave early. No matter how much you'd wanted to. You relaxed into your lover's embrace, drinking in his cologne. Basking in his warmth. It was the most relaxed you'd felt all evening.

You were almost asleep when Bruce's voice dragged you back to reality. "What's wrong?"

You opened your eyes. "Nothing." You couldn't even manage a smile to better sell the lie.

Tonight was supposed to be your night. And they took it from you…

Bruce frowned. "Don't lie to me. We're better than that."

You were better than that. And now you had shame to add to the long list of emotions weighing you down.

They were just words. Everything is fine.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck. You didn't want to talk about it. Not with him. But you couldn't lie to him either.

Your fiancé kissed the top of your head, hugging you tighter. "Talk to me. Did someone hurt you? Did something happen?"

"It doesn't matter. It's not important."

"It's bothering you so it does matter and it is important. You've been talking non-stop about this Gala. You've been planning it for months. What happened?"

You pulled back to wet eyes and a broken smile. Bruce's jaw ticked, his expression chillingly blank. Bruce usually kept this side of himself hidden away from you. Was this the version of him that went out to hunt bad guys every night? Or was this just a small sliver of him?

"Sir, not to interrupt but would you like me to turn the car around?"

You'd forgotten the partition was down. Alfred's voice was low and clipped. Almost unrecognizable from the sassy, well-mannered man who'd been like a father to you over the past four years.

"I'll let you know." answered Bruce before returning his attention to you. "Please." he said softly.

You shook your head. "It's so silly. They were just words."

"What did they say? Who said it?"

You sighed heavily. He wasn't going to let this go. And it was stupid of you to try to hide it from him. The World's Greatest Detective… The World's Most Attentive Fiancé was more like it. "The…people at the gala were mean to me," you admitted in a small broken voice. You hated the way you sounded. You hated even more that you'd let it get to you. "There. I told you. They were mean to me tonight and they said awful things about my weight, how much I ate at dinner. One woman gave some diet pills she swears by in the bathroom. It shouldn't bother me. It's not like I haven't experienced this before. I am a plus-sized person, I know that but…I don't know. These people gather every year to give away exorbitant amounts of money to make Gotham a better, safer place to live. I don't know, I guess I just expected better. Dumb, I know."

"It's not dumb."

"But it is! Bruce, you put on a mask every night and go face down real villains. Real villains that cause real pain with real weapons."

Bruce's jaw dropped. It took a lot to shock him. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It has to do with everything because they're just words, Bruce, not bullets! And I let them get to me. I've been miserable all night. That's why you caught me in the hallway tonight. I didn't get lost, I just got down crying in a broom closet and I was walking around and waiting for my eyedrops to kick in and hide the redness! Now, can we please just drop it and forget that this ever happened?"

"No we can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you feel like you can't confide in me just because of who I am and what I do at night. They're not just words, Y/N these people bullied you. You worked your ass off to make this Gala the success it was. We've never raised this much money in a single night before and it was because of you. Y/N I don't care how minor or unimportant you think it is. You don't have to get roundhouse kicked into a dumpster for your feelings to be valid."

You swallowed a laugh. "When in the world did you get roundhouse kicked into a dumpster?"

Bruce smiles. "That's the point. The point is your feelings are valid. And you can come to me with any of them."

"And I as well, *[Master/Miss] Y/N."

You breathed easy for the first time that night, And smiled for the first time that night. "Thank you. Both of you."

Bruce smiled back, pressing his forehead to yours. "Feel better?"

You nodded.

"Good. Because you're going to tell me the name of everyone who bothered you tonight. And then Batman is going to toilet paper their house and slash their fucking tires."

You barked out a laugh.

Bruce pulled you even closer leaving a trail of kisses from your temple to your collarbone. "You're perfect just the way you are, my heart. All of you."

REQUESTED! | REQUESTS: ALWAYS OPEN | REBLOG DON’T REPOST | MASTERLIST

[shavynel]

Writing comments for fanfic

tl;dr -- Write one thing you liked about the fic (a phrase or moment) and how you reacted or made you feel! Also, keep it fun! Make no demands of fic authors who write out of love and Owe Us Nothing.

It took me a while to figure out how to write comments. I went through an evolution. There's lots of stuff on how to write stories, probably even giving crit and feedback, but commenting? Not nearly as much. So here's my not so short ramble on writing comments for fic. Includes my Ways of commenting and Tenets of commenting.

Examples here will be T-rated (by AO3 standards) and most are taken from or newly written with specific fics in mind. They are, ahem, almost all Genshin Impact.

Commenting is, I believe, a personal thing. I've been told I have a bit of an enthusiastic presence, so what feels true to you may vary. I also like to write words (can you tell?). And smash keyboards.

Leaving comments is, in fact, effort! But it's also a skill that can be learned and honed. And honestly, I think my fic experience is improved by it. I don't always leave a comment. But, I don't know... that random internet person authored a Whole Thing. For Free (likely). And I just get to read it?? Yeah, I'm going to leave a little appreciation. Just a little snack in return for this fulfilling meal you have fed me.

I also find writing a comment is also a way for me to just bask in a fic a little bit longer, linger in that feeling of oh, wow, this was so good, and I don't want to leave yet. (And then sometimes there's a response, and then I get a bonus dose of nostalgia!)

Ways of commenting

These are roughly ordered by amount of effort required. I would say the comments I leave are a mash up of these, really. There aren't actual hard lines between them.

1. An extra kudos.

Kudos are nice. Knowing the kudos button isn't enough is one layer deeper! Comments like

"Thanks for writing!" "<3" "i mash kudos button but no more kudos come out what's wronnnnggg????" "yay an update!" "this is so good"

Level of effort: slightly more than a kudos.

Honestly, copy-pasteable. Personally, I would always write these out. Somehow, to me, as a commenter, feels more real if I tippy tappy the letters myself even if Author can't tell. It's a nice way to let an author know you're coming back chapter after chapter when we can only kudos once on a fic. I like to leave a little something more, but I still often start or end with this.

2. Fic reaction.

Sometimes a fic just leaves me a certain way. Invoked a particular mood or visceral reaction. So, I let the author know!

"Awww, my heart is warm!" "Jaw on ground. WTF!" "Literal chills." "My eyes are wet. How did that happen?" "This fic is pure comfort." "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" "Heart on floor, smashed." "WHOLESOME!" "This has left me completely feral and ready to punch something."

Level of effort: you need some emotional intelligence or other awareness of you reactions.

As a starting point, was the fic -- wholesome, sweet, chaotic (in a good way), funny, heartwrenching, sad, delightful, shocking, calm, peaceful, I just want a hug now, terrifying, creepy, comedic?

How do you then turn this into a comment? "This was so ___!!"

Honestly, my crutch here is to just keyboard smash. What does it mean? Your guess as good as mine. I'm speechless, and I cannot words properly, but please participate in these Feels I'm having.

3. One detail I like. (My default comment style)

This one covers a lot of scope. If I read to the end of the fic, there's probably something I liked. Maybe

a turn of phrase. "Diluc drinking grape juice like a man chained to an interrogation table. sfjfskkdz" "Bedsheets twisted up like cooked spinach is SO accurate." "Itto-to is such a cute mashup name!" "We have years ahead of us. That was just one day in the past. The feeeeeelllssss" ":) as punctuation" "Barbatos and Nobles as a bookstore. Sdjjsfjdw I love it"

a particular character moment, action, interaction, or dialogue. quote or paraphrase it! "Diluc kicking Childe into the water was hilarious." "Childe is such an adrenaline junkie. I can't believe he would lean out the window while he was driving." "I'm so proud of Zhongli for actually admitting his feelings!"

some specific moment you emotionally reacted to. I've only recently trained myself out of stoic facing through fic. I mean, it's a useful skill, don't get me wrong (especially in public), but it's less useful when it's just me by myself. I now laugh at 3am reading fic, and my life is brighter for it. Comedy fic writers, you are my fave. "Can't get over when Diluc walks in on Kaeya and Childe. AHHHHH!" "Qiqi drying Childe's hair was so sweet!"

Level of effort: you have to actually remember something you liked or reacted to.

The number of movies I watch and number of times someone asks how's my week, and I just stare blankly because I know it was good but don't know anything else? High. So yeah, this isn't trivial.

I've gotten to the point where usually while reading I notice a moment of "wow I love this!" I don't go looking for them (because I want to stay in fic headspace not comment material hunting headspace), and I don't spend much effort trying to remember. If I forget, that's fine. Not like I'm not writing a book review for a grade or anything.

Just, what's a moment you just got to call out? (And bonus, what's your reaction?) Authors out there seem to like to make us feel things. Show them we're just dangling from their puppet strings!

I usually leave comments like this. Just popcorn style, as many things as I remember, whatever comes up as I recall it. I'm aware that sometimes I end up basically quoting a fic back to its author completely out of order interspersed with commentary or keyboard smashes. I'm occasionally embarrassed by how much I'm smashing into their comments, but the reception seems overall positive.

4. Between the lines and spin off thoughts.

Sometimes fic make me think. I mean, canon makes me think, and then people go and make fanworks off of that, so of course I'm bound to run into fic that makes me think. Sometimes the things I notice or think about aren't directly in the text, but implied or spin out thoughts. An interpretation, a mini analysis, or a reflection. Like,

a new thought or take on a character. "Aro-ace Venti! I like this take!" "Please don't break Klee. She's just trying her best to hold all the adults together. Oh no. You've already broken Klee. T_T" "I bet Jean is the only person who could have kicked Diluc's ass, and he really needed it." "Kaeya what are you doooinggg?? Why is he like this???" (An extra note, it's cool to disagree with a character, but not the author. Character did that makes you want to scream? Go for it. Author wrote the character in a way you disagree with? Don't comment. Leave the fic if it bothers you that much.)

noticing foreshadowing or a detail that isn't fully explained / only alluded to. "Is that Scara working at Scarabucks???" "Wait, something about what Venti said makes me think this isn't just a modern day AU ..." "Did that count as a geo construct for the purposes of the contract?"

some sentence or moment somewhere that just hits you in the brain. This one I don't actually know if author's like. On the one hand, I can imagine it being flattering. On the other, maybe it's too personal? I'll usually center these on the characters, kind of like character analysis. "Diluc sharing his anxiety with Kaeya, and that being what made Kaeya look at his own anxiety... really hits. Like, I don't even think Diluc could have said something sooner without Kaeya running, which says so much about how Diluc loves Kaeya. And the fact Kaeya can see this as a mirror of what he's doing and learns something from it. Just. Oof. Wow." "The conversation between Zhongli and Childe is just so real. Like Zhongli is trying so hard but his ass just can't understand Childe just wants him to tell them things and his not telling things is Not Helping even though he just wants to protect the boy!"

Level of effort: some amount of analytical thinking, reflection, or willingness to share when you get sucker punched by words.

This one I absolutely never go looking for, so I don't leave many such comments. When it does come up, it usually smacks me in the face, and I let it (roll with the hit and into the comments). On occasion I am wailing in the comment box when the revelation (like having broken Klee) just dawns on me. Am I Feelings Processing in comment boxes? Uuuhhhhhh, no comment. (Don't mind the lack of delivery on the pun.)

I'd like to think authors appreciate when we reflect back to them we get their interpretation, but I can also imagine it might be a little too much for authors if we get too personal. In which case, sorry. Your work is great! Please take it as my intention to flatter you since you've touched my heart or brain or soul with your words.

5. Craft appreciation.

This one, *head scratches* yeah, I don't often end up here. But sometimes it's not one moment, but something about all the moments, something underlying, or something in the way it was all put together. If I do end up here and write a general statement, I like to point to specific bits that made me think that (which is where I lean back on One Detail I Like). Actually, yeah, usually I use this as flavor to One Detail I Like, but I think it's sufficiently different to pull out separately. It's a writerly meta layer. What falls here?

dialogue. "Your dialogue is so good. I can hear it in in the VA's voice." "I love the contrast between how Zhongli talks and Childe talks."

imagery. "Can't get over the imagery of Childe releasing dandelion scenes. Such a kid!" "Childe sleeping with Tranquil Statlight is just so peaceful."

characterization. "The little nuggets you give characters like Rosaria doing community service at the church for Crimes just gives me life." "I love the way you write Childe. He's so aggressive!"

setting, world building (more for AUs but wow there are some authors good at expanding on canon lore). "Your world building is so cool. Like the abyssal graffiti on the walls?? HNNG!"

writing style. "Your style is very dreamy. <3" "This is genuinely so heartwarming, and yet at the same time what is this underlying feeling of something is wrong????" "I feel like people appreciate the art of comedic one liners but you've got angst one liners. AND THEY SLAY."

pacing, timing. "This fic reads like a high speed express train. It just never stops or slows down!!" "What is this cRaFT! Like. Para 1, comedic. Para 2, thoughtful. Para 3, WHY DO MY HEARTSTRINGS HURT."

use of language. "Using he for POV character and they for the other is LINGUISTICALLY MIND BLOWING." (Please, I want this to catch on more. I do absolutely respect people's pronouns. These fictional characters (and people who have pronoun flexibility)? She and they instead of she and she?? THE CLARITY WE COULD HAVE??!? I'm incredibly greedy for it.)

premise. "Pierro Dad gives me so much life." "The Bachelor but it's Diluc?? Let's go!!"

plot twist, or cliff hanger. "The reveal!!! *screaming*" "I can't believe you would do me like this." (No, I can't in good conscience leave a specific example and give a fic away. Yes, I am thinking of specific fics still.)

Level of effort: be able to map details you like to writer's craft.

Let's not pretend we're here to do crit. Even if we're using writerly words, we are not here to do crit. Well, I am not because I don't believe the comments box is the right time or place for it, but I am happy to lay on the praise and point out the things that worked for me.

Usually, I think it's harder to look across a fic and be like, yeah, the dialogue hit, or this writing style or pacing really does it for me. It's more nebulous. And sometimes it kicks you out of fic reading headspace and into a writerly meta land to notice, so I don't, and I just let the fic wash over me. And if something here strikes me, I will offer my praises. Again, I think it helps to think of this more as an additional kind of One Detail I Like.

Tenets of commenting (and a little of reading)

Okay, so those were some do's, but I also have don't's. These are my boundaries that I keep. Maybe yours are different. I suspect most of these stem from the place, Author did this for free and Owes Me Nothing, so that's the one real tenet. I keep these in mind so that I can keep fic a nice, fun, safe place for me (and hopefully the authors too).

1. I will never ask for updates. I never expect a next chapter.

I've seen enough content creators stressed out and burnt out about putting something out over and over again. I feel for them. That sucks. They probably just started doing it for fun, and now ... The demand and expectation they continue to perform for free? Yeah, it's not going to come from me.

Once upon a time, because of this and a desire to have complete stories, I wouldn't read incomplete fics. I now am The Biggest Fan of incomplete fics. Yes, hang me off the side of a cliff. I will scream at you. And if you don't haul me back up? Well, fine. I'll live. Some other author's got my back. Probably. There's still so much to love between world building, characterization, good moments, jokes -- and you sometimes get the experience of seeing familiar faces screaming at the fic with you update after update. It's precious. It's fleeting. I could go on, but maybe a different day. Back to commenting!

Flip side, as an author, I will say the desire for more is, in one case, why I plan to continue a fic from years ago. I was very firm at the time I would not be extending the one shot, but I guess time changes things, and the fact people were like, I would read more story contributes to that.

So this one is very much a personal tenet. There's some line between I love this so much I want it to continue, and expecting there to be more. Where is it? I don't know. So I just stay away. Surely Author will get I want more if I just say how much I love everything and have commented on their latest chapter. Rather than leave snacks that taste like burn out to some authors, I will focus on other flavors of comments!

2. I will not say what I dislike.

Not my ship? I probably won't read. Not my preferred ship dynamic? Tropes I don't like? Characterization not hitting it for me? Paragraph formatting not doing it for me? I just x out of there, find something I do like. People be writing things for free! Let them have their fun!

If I did read it, snd I stayed, something else must have grabbed my attention. I'll focus on that. Writing style not quite doing it for me but I love the details added to the world? "Wow, the world you flesh out is so complex." No mention about how much of a drag it is to read, because hey, I still read it, and I had reason to not put it down!

3. I will not give corrections.

Authors (and maybe a beta) have put in tremendous effort and time, and to be like, "you missed a typo" or "actually, the canon lore says X" often detracts from the beauty of the shared fic experience. I interpret random grammar and misspeaks and typos in daily conversation and texts all the time. Surely I know enough to employ this skill. And if I figured it out, other readers probably will figure it out too. If I can't, I usually assume the author was too big brain for me and skip merrily along to the next sentence. (And if it's too much for me to handle, I click out.)

Yeah I get it! I get the urge to want to be helpful and contribute to other people's experience! I know that feel! Because, well, I learned this one from experience. I tried once. Watched an author wilt a little when what I wanted was to be helpful. Yeeeaaah, not doing that again.

So, I suspect this often comes off as a little entitled that just by that bit of you say something and kinda underlyingly expect the author to do something about it, and again, Author Owes Me Nothing! Even if the author is asking for a beta, I'd reach out first and make sure they are now in a headspace to be expecting beta thoughts from me.

Wrapping it up

I love fic, the world is rich with it, and I am full of love for authors and their craft. It fills my heart with joy to know I can return a little smile to someone who has let me hop on their ride for free.

It does take effort. Writing comments, turns out, is writing. Writing is a skill, therefore writing comments is a skill. And writing takes practice to improve, so, guess what, writing comments takes practice to improve. Who would've thunk. (Not me, I assure you.)

I've wanted to write this for me for a while, capture what I've learned because I noticed my ability to write comments change over time. Then recently, I was rec'd a fic and told to definitely leave a comment because the author deserves it and I write good comments. Dispatched because I write good comments! Now my commenter feathers are fluffed up, and so I have actually written this. But I definitely didn't start out the comment writer I am today, so I wanted to share that, surprisingly there is a progression path! (Maybe this is only surprising to me.)

I do find commenting adds to my fic reading experience. And I love reading other people's comments. Sometimes other people notice things I didn't or have very cool interpretations, and that is an extra wow right there. (And look at all these other people who like the thing I like!)

And if I leave a comment, sometimes I get a reply! Author noticed my little comment! Extra dose of happy for everyone!

And sometimes, sometimes, (and again I would never expect it, but it is a gift much like fic itself is) an author will write back full of their notes and what they were thinking about writing those moments, and I treasure that so, so much. It's both a delight because of the usual Author saw my effort commenting and I get an extra behind the scenes! The craft behind the craft! (Now how do authors leave good replies? That is still a mystery to me.)

Sometimes I write a lot and then it goes into a black hole, and that's sad. Hmm. I'm pretty sure this is what authors feel when we don't leave comments. Hmm. Guess it's time to write more comments! (Sometimes, like fic updates, replies show up months later, and that's honestly <3)

So, let's go leave some comments and show those authors love and tell them how much they delighted us! Or ... how they smashed our hearts into the ground with angst/no comfort because sometimes that's just what one wants to read.

[spurious]

Your McShep fics are giving me life. I'm CRAVING McShep content recently - its so hard to discover a love for old fandoms that are now less active! Please send me all the great other McShep fics you stumble across, I've burned my way through your whole library

Oh my goodness!!!! This ask plus the one from a few weeks ago are really telling me I need to get back to doing fic rec posts regularly!!!!!

First of all thank you so much for your kind words about my fic 💖💖💖💖 honestly for me SGA fandom feels soooo active, even though I know it was an actual juggernaut back in the day lmao. BUT that means that there’s a MASSIVE backlog of stuff to read!!!! Just insane amounts of staggeringly good fics!!!!

And second of all you can check all my previous rec posts here: the tag is sometimes ficlets I’ve reblogged but also lots of links and lists in there!!

ANYWAY. Let me see if I can rustle up some new recs for you my friend! I have a couple of unposted recs in my notes so we’ll pop those in first:

Five People Who Know by hestia_lacey | ~4k, rated E

Five people who know exactly how John Sheppard feels about Rodney McKay.

Only read this if you’re prepared to have your heart stomped on, but ahhhhhhhh. The first part, with Jeannie, is definitely my favorite.

Wishes on a Wheel by waterfalliam | ~3.2k, rated T

The sun is gentle, faintly wrong against his skin. The wind whispers against his arms and neck that he’s alive and that counts for something, he’s never wholly alone, he still has himself—but it’s nothing like the sea breeze that feels like home.

Absolutely beautifully sad introspective Epiphany!John piece, dealing with his depression and feelings of abandonment, with a sweet ending 💖

Solitary by @esteefee | ~5k, rated M

Four days in solitary gives a guy time to think. Unless he's an idiot.

Aggggh the John voice in this is immaculate (as is to be expected from esteefee ofc). Sardonically funny with a soft and chewy emotional core that just...takes a little time and a little chipping away at to get to. But, you know, worth it.

Followed by two faves from this year’s sga secret santa, both of them variations on the theme of John and Rodney making up:

In the Dark of the Night by @hero-in-waiting | ~5.8k, rated M

The problem with arguments is that they never happen at a good time. Which is a to be expected given their nature. And the problem with trying to make up is, at least in the Pegasus galaxy, they come at an even worst time. Especially when John and Rodney get stuck off world, running from some locals who took a dislike to them immediately and five days after an argument that, in John's opinion, had started over nothing.

But at least they were together?

Love the concept of this one, love them being forced into life or death situations before being able to talk about their feelings, looooove the misunderstanding on Rodney’s part 🥰🥹

When I Think of All the Worries That People Seem to Find by @audioletter | ~2.3k, rated G

After ten years of being together, John acts like John and Rodney acts like Rodney.

Absolutely cried reading this I love it so much. The depth of knowledge that they have for each other after so long is so apparent in the best, most beautiful way.

Aaaand let’s round it out with a nice long one:

Inukshuk by murron | ~80k, rated M

A mission-gone-south isolates Rodney and John from the rest of the team. Forced to search for an Ancient outpost, they struggle to keep each other alive until the time their kidnappers prepare to sacrifice the one and purify the other.

This is absolutely a mcshep fic but I almost found that taking a backseat for me in my enjoyment of the way that the plot unfolds, the way that it’s written? Absolutely spellbinding work, I struggled to put it down.

[cryptidko]

Yayy posting some art of mine.

While making my pressure (/scp) OC I noticed quite an amount of similarities he had with Solace so I drew this kind of like parallels I guess lol.

More OC Lore under cut

Travis-Lautaro Tecoy, a twenty something Chilean guy, nicknamed "Icarus" by Solace after he died in room 99.

He was a D-Class at the SCP foundation, one that lasted a lot more than the expected singular month there... He lasted years, (thank his inability to die for that.) and was considered quite the asset to the foundation.

He is anomalous himself, but wasn't classified as an SCP purely out of conveniece for the organization, because then it would be a mess to test on him and it would require a lot more paperwork haha. (Cross experiments with SCPs are a mess to coordinate and get approved.)

I have my ideas of why he can't really die, or how he keeps coming back despite his body being almost completely destroyed, let's just say that back at the foundation some people talked about him as 682-B 👀... Only in whispers of course, nothing documented yet.

His crime is irrelevant, he was accused of the murder of 3 people along with first degree arson charges, wether those claims are true even he doesn't know anymore, since after every test he was constantly administered amnestics to the point of almost breaking his mind.

During his transportation he was administered Class C Amnestics but thanks to his developed resistance to the stuff he can remember small bits of his time at the foundation from time to time.

(feat some of my friend's doodles of her Roblox Avatar and Seb as well)

For reasons that I havent thought of yet (lol) he was transferred to Urbanshade's under the expendable protocol, feeling he probably had more chances of being freed with that than the obvious lie of the foundation of being freed after one month of serving as a D-Class.

Really he was just changing what organization owned him.

He's not a great guy lol, he's quite an asshole tbh, horrible with emotions, very self centered and easy to anger.

He's the type to do anything if it means he's getting his freedom, and knowing he can't really die he's not scared of doing horrid things to get his way, but really he's just detached from his own emotions. That's just what years dealing with anomalous shit as their testing subject does to ya I guess.

Going back to his nickname, in his first ever expedition he almost got to the crystal, dying to pinky right after he survived pandemonium. (This actually fucking happened to me when I played for the first time and I was so angry that I made Travis lol.)

Thus, the nickname Icarus, he flew too close to the sun and died, he absolutely HATES that name, it spread like wildfire among other expendables.

(early doodles/designs of him, was still figuring him out back there lol)

He doesn't talk much either tbh, but that's actually because if he talks too much, specially when agitated (or anything that raises his heartrate) he gets this GNARLY cough with blood and all that. That's because the weird anomaly that keeps him alive flares up and tries to constantly adapt his body to the environment. It's a VERY painful process btw, when his body begins to heal from his more fucked up injuries he does not pass out, he is painfully aware of every single fiber reattaching and bones fusing and organs healing.

Back at the foundation he was just administered amnestics to forget that along with the testing prior, but now at Urbanshade he's more aware than ever about not being human.

After all, the only reason he wants his freedom is to be a normal person again, and if he's not human, then what even is the point.

He refuses to acknowledge he's not normal.

And it's breaking him.

[dearweirdme]

I can't stop thinking about something the last few days. I was watching BTS content:

the RUN episode where they have to name the celebrities from their pics

the video where jk is following Tae around the waiting room to take his pic

the video where Tae hugs Jk to ask for forgiveness because he gifted him the Tae fans

(I mention them just as an example) and couldn't help but notice HOW MANY people were there! Like, more than 20 staff, 4-5 cameras minimum and some of them IN their faces. I know that the members have grown up and got used to it by now, but really, how can we expect them to act all natural and behave like no one is watching? I am not saying they are fake, but come on, this is a tiny - posed part of who they really are. To be honest if I had a secret affair with someone I would barely interact with them in a situation like this. The slip ups we have all these years are a miracle imo.

Hi anon!

I do think it is important to think about what BTS's perspective on these situations is. We tend to use our own lives and ideas about 'normalcy' as a point of reference, but our lives are nothing like that of BTS. What's normal to them is outlandish to us. BTS have most likely actually trained for different types of social settings (mediatraining). They have trained how to behave and how to answer and interact. So part of what they do is learned behavior. The way they evade certain questions for example, as well as playing up some things (as a means to excite people) and playing down some things (emotions, opinions). Being BTS is their job. Entertaining us is their job, so a certain amount of exageration and toning down is to be expected. Whenever they are having an off day, they will try not to show that to the full extent.

However, within those boundaries.. they can still be themselves. It's just a different version of themselves adjusted to the specific social setting they are in. I see it more as not showing the extremities of their characters.

I actually feel that we see a lot of how they really are. I'm fully aware that there's a lot that we don't see and know, but to me their characters and honest interactions have always shone through. I think for me it's mostly that I feel they hide the specifics of their lives (factual stuff like relationships, friendships, events and outings, etc). I think the more subjective stuff (like emotions, reactions, interactions) is often very real.

The way BTS has made RUN, ITS, BV, and all sorts of interviews really to me shows how genuine they are amongst each other. Because they don't miss a beat while reacting to each other. I think that is also why so many of us see what's between Tae and Jk as real. They don't miss a beat during interactions. They might pull back and hesitate after processing something, but their initial responses to each other speak of huge intimacy. Tae and Jk did not have to hide that they are close. A lot of people around them have only ever known them to be close, even from before they presumably got together. So while performing, or taping footage, or getting ready they don't have to hide being close. They can still hug, they can still touch, they can still talk and joke and whatever. They can't kiss, or talk about their relationship, and there's possibly some other aspects of their relationship that they would have to tone down, but then again it's normal to do that while you're working anyways.

They have basically grown into adulthood with having a huge team around. They are able to sleep in a room full of people. They are at their most vulnarable (sleeping, undressed, emotional) in rooms full of people. When you go through that on an almost daily basis.. your perspective on situations like that changes.

[dragonmasterhiccup]

Danny glared at Hiccup as he spoke, "You see, something you learn after living with Drago Bludvist for 13 freaking years is that you don't get to be angry, you don't get to be happy or sad either" she said angrily with mock sarcasm, "All you get to be is obedient, and if you don't obey his every order you either get killed or abandoned on a random island in the middle of nowhere!" she exclaimed while standing up abruptly.

As Hiccup told his story about him and Toothless, Danny scoffed while crossing her arms over her chest and rolling her eyes, "Look, Cheif, I don't care about your little sob story, your little monster didn't kill you because it probably knew you were it's only chance of survival" she stated firmly, anger and frustration laced in her voice.

"I don't care about how many 'enemies' he's made! If you think about it, you are also his enemy, meaning that you're also my enemy" she said. There was another scoff as Hiccup continued, "Oh please- you couldn't even imagine the s*** I've had to go through- I've seen it all- and why would it even matter? I had nothing to do with my fathers actions!" she exclaimed while looking up at him with tired eyes, her voice laced with a mess of emotions, though it was her anger that was shining through the most.

Although unlike her father's anger, whose anger was like a controlled, managed and powerful flame, hers was like a wildfire, uncontrollable and chaotic.

"You think I haven't been bargained off already?! You think I haven't been captured or tied up either?! Oh my Thor...- you think you know everything when you actually know nothing at all!" She finished, her breathing heavy. Her eyes followed Hiccup as he sat back down.

After Hiccup finished speaking, Danny quickly interjected, "No, I'm not staying, Now- you said you'd give me a boat, so give me a boat, now" she demanded while glaring up at Hiccup.

It was clear that she was angry, but she also looked so tired, emotionally and physically, it was clear that she had other stuff she was holding onto.

He was taken back at her response, eyes wide, mouth slightly open in shock. She was so young, and to have gone through all of that? He couldn't even imagine. He blinked a few times, putting on a more neutral expression, though his eyes still spoke volumes.

He lowered his voice, speaking carefully and calmly. "You're right. I may have fought and won a good amount of battles and a few wars, had bounty hunters attack me, been captured and dragged by chains and escaped, almost died six or seven times, give or take, but I know nothing of your experiences or what you've been through."

He looked her in the eyes, though his face was still angled downwards slightly. "And it's true, your father may have been an enemy, but I didn't want him to be. You are certainly not my enemy, though I'm starting to think you may see me as yours. So why don't you talk about it? All I want is to help you, and what you need right now is not a boat, but a friend. I'm not the type to give up."

[bluiex]

More magic and Memory loss stuff that no one asked for or even remembers. I just really wanted to do more of this ;p

~~~~

'Welcome to Border post number 14! We hope your trip between Hermittepa and Creastevia has been to your expectations. Please have your documents ready for the clerk so we can get you back home as quickly as possible. Have a lovely day!'

Grian almost can't believe the words on the sign on the wall. He never thought he would be in a situation like this…Kidnapped by two strange people who are now trying to get him over the border into who knows what kind of life. A supposedly 'better' life. Ha, funny…

Mages don't have a chance at a good life…They don't get one.

"Is there anything you want to talk about, Grian?" The man beside him asks. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions about…well, everything."

Mumbo had gone to another part of the post, saying they had something else to take care of, and he was left with the overly cheery man in green. He was hoping to stay silent until he couldn't anymore, but…It seems that time has come quicker than he wanted.

"What can I ask you?"

He keeps his voice flat, remembering the first words the elder mages at the academy ever said to him…His first lesson and what was said to be the most important one.

If you can't tell how a situation will play out, or you can't figure out a person's intentions, do not let your emotions be known or else you'll find yourself playing into someone else's hands.

Scar just simply smiles at him. "You can ask anything you want, sunbeam. I would feel bad if I just let you walk into the deep end of trying to learn everything again."

"Would you really answer all my questions truthfully? 

"I will answer you to the best of my knowledge."

He prevents himself from rolling his eyes. What a lovely way to say 'I'm going to pretend not to know what you are talking about with certain questions.'

Oh well, at least he's getting some amount of information…That's better than what most others would get in his position. Who knows, maybe this guy will be a blabbermouth and spill more than they intended.

"Okay…" He says slowly. "Are you a mage? Or are you one of those people who are 'just more magically attuned' then most?"

Scar snerks. "Magically attuned? Do people actually say that when covering up that they're a mage? Oh, that's funny. I just might use that next time visiting X, when one of those snobby lords or ladies asks me if I'm really a mage."

He stays silent, not caring for the way Scar answered his question. He is not in the mood, nor in the right situation for joking. Who this 'X' is means nothing to him. And he doesn't want Scar to think he's encouraging them to joke around with him. 

"Yes, I'm a mage. Be as shocked and awed as you want, I'm not afraid to say it."

"Not afraid to use your magic in public either…"

"Aww, I'm really sorry about how it all went down in order to get you, sunbeam. There was no way that lord you were sent to would ever give you up, and we just had to get you back…We couldn't see any other option."

"That stunt, like any and all the ones you pulled before, is probably the reason why you and your partner have wanted posters."

"Oh, those things?" Scar chuckles. "I like to see some try and actually arrest us for whatever bounty is on those, and see just how much hell there would be to pay."

"What do you mean?"

"Some lords here think putting up posters will keep us out of this country, despite their king and ours having a civil agreement to only send people back over the border into the respective kingdom's hands if they misbehave. They're nothing more than a way to say we in particular are not welcome in the little towns they run."

"Then why go somewhere you obviously aren't welcome? That's just asking to have your body be found in a river…"

"Because, my dear sunbeam…The country of Creastevia had something we wanted. Someone we wanted back."

They reach over and cup his cheek, tilting his head up to make him look them in the eye. Their touch feels…weird. It's foreign to him, but somehow familiar at the same time…

"And now we are one step closer to having you back."

A shiver runs up his spine. This whole situation is all sending his brain running in circles…Two strange men kidnap him, tell him the life he's had is not the life he always had, and are now trying to take him over the border and back into that other life. And he's just supposed to trust them?! How could he!?

A part of him wants to pull away, to scream or yell that he doesn't know who this man is, that they and their buddy are trying to take him over the border…But another part of him wants to keep quiet. Saying that what the two of them have been saying is true, and to trust them to get him…home. 

What does 'home' look like…What does it feel like?

"How…How did you find me?" He asks, mouth feeling incredibly dry. "It's been a long time, hasn't it? How was this search any different? How did you find me after all this time?"

Scar chuckles, and their hand moves away from his face and down to his shoulder, then down to his back…

He lets a small pathetic noise when they pull him close, holding him gently. His brain runs about a mile a minute, almost everything in him screaming. 

"You tell me, sunbeam…" Scar rests their chin on top of his head. "You're the one who called to us."

"W-what?"

They start to slowly move a hand up and down his back, making him let out another small noise.

"You projected yourself to us. Gave us a good look at what you looked like after all this time. You changed so much…But you're still our Grian, despite everything they've done to you."

His hands move up to grip their shoulders. All this feels too much…too familiar. It's making him feel dizzy…

"But I didn't…I didn't do anything like that," He says quietly. "I don't know any…projection spells. And even if I did, how could I project myself to you? I didn't know who you two were…I still don't."

Scar hums. "Well, you did. Somehow and someway, you helped us find you. Some part of you remembers. Remembered all of our time together and wanted to return to it. And what a big help it was, laying out a nice little path for us to follow."

"Path?"

"There are many spells and potions mages can learn, a whole history of many types of magic for things small and large. But no matter how small that magic is, it leaves a trace. A path that magic had to follow to reach its target."

They give him a light squeeze, giving him more of their dizzying and suffocating affection. He never felt cared about like this since…ever. None of the students at the academy would show love to each other like this. They weren't allowed to.

It's overwhelming…but he hasn't ever experienced this before. Maybe he wants to learn…

"Some try to cover up their trace," They continue. "They try to manipulate it, sometimes mixing in other bits of magic in an attempt to go unnoticed. But if someone knows how that person's magic is, how it flows and how it feels…"

"You can pick it out and follow it…" He finishes for them.

"Exactly. Good job, sunbeam."

"So you know my magic well then, huh?"

"Very well, Gri, to the point I could never forget it. That's what happens when two mages work together long enough. You start to recognize all the little quirks the other does with their magic."

"So…I should recognize yours too, right?"

Scar hums again, placing their other hand on his back. He can feel the areas under their hands start to tingle and warm…

"That depends, darling…Do you?"

The tingles run to his shoulders and down his arms, followed soon after by the warm feeling. It's certainly a…unique experience. Something he would probably remember if he felt it before. But he's not if he has? Or should he wait for a few more seconds before making that statement?

He shivers again when the tingles reach his neck, making a slight noise when the warmth comes. It kinda feels like being wrapped in a blanket when you're cold…Is that him recognizing it? It made him make a comparison, and comparisons are based on memories…

No, he doesn't think that works in this situation. Feels nice though. It makes him feel strangely…safe? Or at least what he thinks safety feels like.

"I feel something…" He says slowly. "But I don't know if I recognize it…"

"Ah well, that's a shame…At least we tried."

Even though Scar says that, they don't actually sound all that bothered by it. And they don't move their hands either. The tingles and warmth are still moving to each part of his body, currently making its way down his torso. 

Scar doesn't seem to want to stop…whatever this is. 

He wonders how this looks to the other people at the post here, with the both of them clinging to each other. Do they look close? Like they're trying to forget about what is really going on in their lives? Like people who are to be ripped away from each other for whatever reason perhaps? People sharing one last moment before their inevitable end? Or maybe like star-crossed lovers who have found each other again? Who have bested all the odds and can now live peacefully at each other's side…And never have to worry about anything ever again.

What a fairytale that would be…

"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?"

He turns his head towards where the voice came from, and sees Mumbo standing a few inches away with a slightly annoyed look on their face.

"No, I couldn't." Scar presses their face into his hair. "He's finally back after so long…How do you expect me not to hold him as close as possible?"

Mumbo sighs. "Scar, he doesn't know who we are…You can't just touch him like before. And it's our turn with the clerk. We have to go."

Scar makes a whiny noise, reluctantly letting him go. The tingles stop when their hands leave him, and he starts to feel everything normally again. That was certainly an interesting experience…Maybe he should ask how they were able to do that. But not right now. Another time perhaps.

He tries to stand up from the seat he was on, wobbling a little. Okay, so it seems that Scar having him 'feel' their magic has made him a little unsteady, but he's sure he can handle it. It's not like he feels like he's about to fall on his face or anything. He's just a little dizzy. He has worked through worse. 

A hand touches his shoulder, making him jolt a bit.

"So that's what you two were doing..Let me help you, Gri. You probably feel a little off after that."

"I don't know what you're talking about…" He murmurs. "I'm fine, Mumbo."

"Grian, I can practically feel the buzz coming off of you, and I'm not even that sensitive to magic. I'm surprised you were even able to stand up on your own."

"I think I mayhaps went a little too hard with that magic…" Scar says, sounding sorry for it.

"See?"

He reaches up and tries to push Mumbo's hand away. "I'm fine. Really I am."

"Just lean on me a bit, okay? I don't want you to fall now."

They gently rub his shoulder, like they're trying to convince him they only want to help. He isn't too sure how to feel about this…and if he should believe it. The elders would constantly say that no one helps anyone just because. That there's always another reason for someone's help. They probably just want to keep a closer eye on him, to have a grip on him to make sure he doesn't run at the last minute. Yeah, that's probably it…

This is all just a show to build trust…

But you don't really believe that do you?

He has no choice. He has no other option but to believe it. The elders-

The elders would lock people in dark windowless rooms for daring to talk back to them. Are you really going to trust the words of grumpy old mages?

But he doesn't know these people! They could be lying, plotting to do anything, and he'll be at their mercy! Why would he-

You're always going to be trapped in situations you don't like. This has been your destiny long before you can even remember. Since your birth, people have schemed and plotted on how to use you. Your only choice now is how much power you'll give them over you.

But-

Have they asked you to do anything for them yet? To make them some magical weapon? To cast a curse on someone? These people have asked you nothing…which is more than you can say about them than your so called 'friends' at the academy.

They still could…And they will eventually. Everyone does.

Fight then. See where that lands you.

"Grian?" Mumbo asks, pulling him from his thoughts. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Just…Just thinking about everything. Sorry…"

"It's okay. But I do need an answer from you. We need to get going."

He glances at their face, taking in the concern they seem to be showing. Even if this is all just a lie, they seem to be really trying to sell it…

"I'll lean on you…" He relents. "Just…Don't try to move for me. I can move myself…"

"I believe you, Gri. Come on now, I think the clerk is starting to get impatient."

OH YAYAYAY MORE OF THIS AU

UWAH SO GOOD DUDE.. Whatever Grian is talking too at the end there :eyes: heheh... Cmon Gri ykno you trust Scar an Mumbo

[bloomskullberry]

Ok you know what i just gotta write out my feelings on the new Miraculous movie. I have both good and bad things to say. I will be rewatching it cause i was pretty biased (we'll get to that) and maybe reposting this with my new thoughts afterwards cause this is a lot.

THUS: READ MORE AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION and understand that most of this is based on personal perception, preferences, and an element of nostalgia/frustration (ive been watching this show since season one, would not have made it this far if I didnt have FEELINGS about Miraculous). but take everything with a sprinkle of salt.

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS ABOUT THE NEW MIRACULOUS MOVIE UNDER THE CUT

1. Pacing felt like the biggest issue. A lot of stuff was happening, and a lot of big moments were happening, but there was nothing inbetween that made them feel like they flowed into eachother, and a lot of the character/relationship "development" relied on the viewers previous knowledge of the show, even tho its pretty clear the movie was doing stuff very differently in terms of characters and relationships. Do i understand this is a 1hr 40min movie trying to encapsulate the slowburn romance and 5 seasons worth of content in a way that caters to the fans of said 5 seasons? Yes, its a huge ask for what is essentially 5 episodes (average 20 mins long). Especially with the amount of exposition the concept of Miraculous requires. Is it still disappointing, considering the movie left out information because of its audience and still rushed through important stuff to just get to the "juicy" moments? Yeah

2. Visuals were lovely, as was the music and specific moments. Honestly if the pacing wasnt such an issue and everything was developed more, the Ladybug and Ladynoir songs (maybe even the Hawkmoth one too) would be really enjoyable as a way to progress stuff and show development. Im also a sucker for dramatic visuals during musical numbers to help emphasize the feelings/emotions of the characters, and it really showcases the potential benefits the animation could add to the show as a medium

3. I actually really liked movie!Marinette (partly cause she wasnt a stalker and creep about her crush on Adrien) qnd because she had a much more sarcastic and bantering attitude, even outside of the costume, which made Ladybug an alter ego more than a complete other person (which is a slight issue ive had with the show). The scene of her growing into her civilian persona and becomign more confident actually made me really happy, especially her standing up to Chloe

4. Movie!Chat Noir kinda pissed me off ngl, and felt very disconnected from movie!Adrien (or at least how he was shown). People have said movie!Adrien is much more depressed/isolated and acts appropriately as to his home life (and dont get me wrong, i loved his scene where he stood up to Gabriel), but i think thats why his relationship with Ladybug and complete 180 as Chat Noir feels so off to me? Like his almost "meanness" with Ladybug at first from being super cocky and then doesnt even apologize for his treatment of her even after he falls for her just throws me off (tbf ive always been biased against the "cocky assholes falling for people who put them in their place" trope, so this might just be a me thing). Idk, it just doesnt sit right with me

4b. Anyone else notice Adrien didnt even get chosen for being kind? Plagg just appeared in his bedroom? Like Marinette almost got ran over from saving Master Fu and then Adrien is just like Yo A Cool Ring. Idk, its funny but that felt weird to me

5. The stupid freaking montage. Yall cannot even imagine how much I hate the montage. If they had replaced the montage with one scene and maybe cut down the magician and mime fight to add another scene in to focus on marinette + adrien friendship and then adrien personal life development or chat noir + ladybug bonding/respect for EACH OTHER i think it would have elevated the movie to new heights. The montage essentially was the movie pressing fast forward x3 on any development of characters. Its because of montages like these that make me appreciate filler or fun episodes in any show, because when you just stick a montage in then you feel like youre watching coworkers kiss when the movie is trying to convince you theyre starcrossed ride or die lovers. Made me feel like i watched the origins episode and then the season 5 finale with just the stormy weather 2 episode inbetween. Hate it.

6. Movie!Tikki has personality and movie!Plagg is a fart machine. I think its clear theres a favorite. Feels like it reflects the focus on Marinette and lack thereof on Adrien as a character present in both the show and the movie. Hardly a new observation, just food for thought.

7. ¿¿¿¿¿¿movie!Hawkmoth/Gabriel???? That basically sums up how I feel about him but to explain theres just very little done with him i feel. Plus it seems like all his Hawkmothing around actually takes a toll on his wellbeing, which is really cool and interesting, but it just comes out of nowhere afTER THE STUPID MONTAGE. Like id love to see the kind of degradation of his health, mental physical and emotional, as he works to revive Emilie, cause you cant tell me thay wouldnt make stuff a lot more interesting (i know he got catacylsmed but the show just treated it as an outfit change and checking his arm like a clock until the season finale, so it doesnt really count for me), but mans just shows up looking like a wreck and fights with Adrien

7b. Also i was pretty confused about how him breaking/rejecting his akuma at the end of the movie worked, and him just having all the powers ever while akumatized?? But that's just me being picky at a superhero show where magic animal jewelry exists

8. Movie!Chloe and movie!Sabrina felt more real in a way? Like Chloe was just stuck up and self centered, not actively making everyones life hell, and Sabrina didnt just blindly follow her along (i ADORED when she let Marinette escape and when she shrugged at her during the ball, you go girl you have that personality and self-consciousness the show never allowed you to have until the last moment), it was more a reluctant follower ignoring a friend's red flags ya know? Movie!Chloe wasnt the mayors daughter who had control over every adult in Paris and would literally become a dictator if elected. She was just freaking out at Marinette for "ruining" her sweater. Shes still a bully/mean kid, but shes dialed back, which i think makes her much better.

9. Alya and Nino were just kind of chilling, i dont have any feelings about their characters except how terrible Nino is at advice, and Alya was set up as a good friend throughout the movie, so i appreciate her supportiveness of Marinette. Tom and Sabine were set up to do more/be more important in the movie (I was so sure Tom was gonna be akumatized at the fair, but nope), but were kind of dropped halfway? Like Tom was set up as the overprotective and loving kinda helicopter father who would go all the way to the fair in disguise to watch over Marinette, and then he was just never mentioned again after Marinette felt embarrassed by him at said fair. Wasted opportunity and time for a movie with so much issue in pacing

10. I saw buggachat say this movie felt like an animated fanfiction of MLB and I have to say i completely agree. I dont mean that in a bad way, i love fanfiction with all my heart and you can clearly see that the movie and a lot of fanfiction fixes the issues many fans have with the show. But the thing is, this is a full movie, not a collection of one-shot specific scene rewrites. Thus, for it to be successful in "rewriting" or creating an alternate version of MLB, it has to include those in-between moments, not just the juicy identity reveal, or the "my heart belongs to another " moment, or even the "Gabriel actually cares about his son" moment. Is the movie good at those moments? Goodness yes. It definitely has its humor, its enjoyment that you can tell is a gift to the fans. But as a movie, a whole animated film, it disappoints.

10b. I mean for goodness sake they didnt even mention that Catacylsm was a thing until it was used, and Lucky Charm wasnt utilzed at all, just the fixing power (that might just be a genuine change they made so Ladybug wasnt too unbalanced with Chat Noir tho)

OK IM DONE, phew. Those are my major thoughts from the day after watching the movie, and im going to watch it again more carefully later. Ill not to be so personally biased and to just enjoy it. Who knows, maybe ill think differently afterwards.

Definitely gonna listen to the songs again, and definitely gonna burst out laughing at Careless Whisper tho

[transgenderer]

Think you've made this post before, but what would you recommend for someone who wants to know why you like TMG so much? (Have listened to basically nothing by them)

this is a subtly different question than the usual "what should i check out from them". and its interesting! so to me there's a "classic trio" of mountain goats albums: all hail west texas, tallahassee, and the sunset tree. they tend to be more direct, and therefore more immediately achieve their goal, which is "make you feel something intensely, something youre not used to feeling, or which you dont have the words for". like...there's an *emotion* to no children, a specific and intense emotion, for which the language is lacking. theres this one tweet abt tMG that really clicked with me, that people who like tMG a lot are often distant from their emotions, and jd is really good at tunneling through your emotional walls and letting the dam out

so anyway thats the main thing, they make you FEEL a lot, with the words, and especially with the way john darnielle sings, which is not traditionally good but imo has an unusually large amount of emotion in it. but another major aspect is that a lot of his songs, especially the pre-2000 stuff, are telling a weird ambiguous interesting story. a lot of his early songs are these weird cryptic little poems, which i find very compelling. here's one, its called love hymn to aphrodite:

The sunset gets a little longer every night And it's no good but I feel alright The sky turns orange and the colors start swirling You float downstairs, your body spinning in perfect circles It's the 18th of July What what are you doing

part of what makes this work is the trust i have in JD as an author. i dont know what he meant, but i believe he meant *something*, and something that was at least interesting to 90s-JD. which makes these songs fun impossible puzzles

ANYWAY so thats one thing. and then his modern stuff, the appeal there is like...so he used to do a lot of love songs, right? i mean thats sort of what he made his name in. but he hasnt made a love song in nearly 15 years, i think the last one was on heretic pride in 2008. his songs are are about rarely discussed events, emotions. hell make an album about professional wrestling, or goths, or the fall of paganism in the roman empire, and it feels silly when you say it but its not silly, theyre like...actually affecting! and part of this is that theyre often metaphors for more down to earth stuff but sometimes theyre not. sometimes its just a song about the band gene loves jezebel, and its a good song. anyway. theres a lot of novelty

but the CORE the core of all of it, is the lyrics are just...really really good. you mentioned earlier, that most song lyrics sound bad when you just write them out with no music. and this is true! but its not true of tMG, at least not imo. imo their lyrics stand up to a remarkable amount of scrutiny, their lyrics *make sense*, theyre talking about something, something specific, theres no...platitudes, no vague generalities. theyre telling stories! which is weirdly rare! when i was like 13 i was briefly really into fandom music (like, fan music for some property) for this trait, of music that means something specific. but yeah. the lyrics are good and jd makes them shine with the emotion in his voice

oh i spent most of the time explaining. i guess it depends a lot on what style you like. he had a period like 2001-2012 or so when he was doing a lot of stuff in a more like traditional "rock" ish style to varying degrees, the stuff before 2000 is mostly super lo fi which i love but you may not, post 2012 his stuff has often been like...idk, almost jazzy? not like jazzy jazzy. soft rock? i dont know music words. anyway. uh. yeah. i would rec listening to sunset tree, tallahassee, and all hail west texas, then try a song or two from other albums and see if theres any whose sound you like

[surplus-of-sarcasm]

5 Things You Will Find in My WIPs

Thank you to @heroes-villains-side-blog and @those-damn-snippets for tagging me!

Note: The stuff on here is applicable for both my Tumblr writing and the novel series.

1. Mental Health Representation

My characters often struggle with mental health issues, and that can affect their actions and personality significantly. I feel like we need more mental health rep, to show that it's something a lot of people struggle with, and just not another thing to demonise. It adds complexity and dimension to characters, offering obstacles of a different kind for them to overcome and lotssss of internal conflict. (And yk, some self-projecting)

2. Pining for Each Other

An old trope, but hey, it still works. It's a wonderful thought process to write for a character, and especially in writing that is not purely romance, it shows a different side of a character. They wonder if the person they feel so deeply for actually has them on their mind at all. It adds uncertainty, and maybe even strengthens the desire they have. It also makes the readers scream: "They're in love with you too, you idiot! It's so obvious!" It just needs to be written well to be believable.

3. Emotionally Repressed Characters Having The Major Breakdown (T is capital on purpose)

I am a SUCKER for this because of the contrast it has. They're not just merely upset, but their whole world comes crashing down at this moment. For a moment, they don't care, the tough guy complex means nothing because they're so hurt. Then, the guilt and the shame which they slowly start to unlearn (in my fics at least). It hits different, writing such robust characters so vulnerable and raw. It gives you an insight as to who they really are, it's proof there's a human under that tough-as-nails shell they've built. They almost always receive some comfort in my fics!

4. Sarcastic Tonality and Dry Humour

Imo, this gives a character personality and flavour. It's obviously not the only kind of humour to ever exist, but it's just so enjoyable to write, especially if it's banter between friends, nemeses only atm, siblings or lovers OR if it's a roast to sass a particularly annoying character (very cathartic by the way that last one). It's also a fun way to break the tension in an otherwise angsty scene (when it is suitable for that particular scene). It is a gem in narration, and it can make otherwise boring situations interesting.

5. Happy Endings

I write a lot of angst and whump, with a fair amount of violence and the lion's share of emotional angst, but I do love happy endings. Yes, I put my characters through the horrors, but they get happy endings to make up for it somehow. It doesn't magically erase the trauma, but it gives them at least some sensation of peace. It's often rather tempting to skip right to them! I just find unhappy endings very unsatisfying, but I have tried my hand at a somewhat tragic fic on here once.

No pressure tags: @hufflepuffwritingstuff2 @sunnynwanda @syberianjade @thepenultimateword @deckofaces

I'd loveee to see what you guys would share, only if you wish to, ofc! ❤️❤️

[procrastinatorproject]

More writing has happened!

I'm gonna skip the Difficult Conversation about Rios's memories and all the rest of it, because I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with it yet - and also I feel like I need something more fluffy tonight. As a bedtime story, so to speak.

So, Context: Rios has lost his memory of the last ten years or so due to *gestures vaguely in the direction of Star Trek Medical Science*. The memories will come back in the next few days, but that, of course, is quite an emotionally fraught concept for Rios.

---

Emil hesitated for a second, but then he reached out and put his hand over Rios’s, which was still holding onto the mermaid tattoo. “But you won’t have to do this alone if you don’t want to. I’ll be here every step of the way.”

For a long moment, they just looked at each other, countless emotions storming in their respective minds, but finally, Rios nodded. “Thanks, Doc.”

“I’ll always be here, when you need me, you have my word.”

A hint of a smile tugged on Rios’s lips. “I know,” he said. “Don’t ask me why, I don’t remember. But I know. You and… and the others…” Suddenly his eyes went wide and he leaned away a bit, dropping his hand from his arm. “Wait… I do remember this… There’s five of you, right? And you all… you all look the same… No, wait.” He gave Emil an almost accusatory look. “I knew something felt weird about your face. You don’t just look the same, you all look like me! How the fuck did that happen?”

Emil wasn’t sure he was entirely happy with how relieved this change of topic made him. Part of him wanted to keep talking, to continue the deep conversation and maybe plumb some of the depths of his captain’s fractured psyche. But an even bigger part was only too eager to take the bait.

He leaned back on his stool again and shoved his hands into his pockets. “An excellent question,” he rejoined. “One we have, in fact, pondered amongst ourselves many a time, but have never reached a definitive conclusion on.” He raised his eyebrows, fixing Rios in a sardonic look. “I believe it involved a very large amount of pisco.”

Rios’s face was the picture of innocent disgust. “Ugh, that stuff is vile.” Then, his eyes went wide and he got a conspiratorial look on his face. “Don’t tell Lieutenant Alfaro I said that; she’d never forgive me.” His voice shifted to a lower register and he added in a perfect lunar colony accent: “We chilenes need to remember our heritage.”

Emil let out a burst of laughter before he clasped a hand over his mouth to get himself under control again.

Rios raised his eyebrows. “What?”

Emil shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

Now, Rios rolled his eyes. “Oh come on. It’s not like I’m likely to remember anything you’re gonna tell me, judging by how things have gone so far…”

Emil hesitated for another moment, but then he said: “Remember how you mentioned that the Engineering Hologram has some kind of accent?”

“Yeah?”

“Well… I always assumed our voices were a remnant of the original programming. Some built-in variety that comes with the basic installation and just didn’t get changed when your self-scan was overlayed on that.”

Rios looked like he wasn’t quite following. “Okay?”

“I had no idea you could do accents yourself.”

“Oh.” Rios blinked, then a grin started spreading on his face. “I mean… I’m not an expert, but I reckon I might have given y’all more than just my pretty face.”

Rios’s voice was a perfect imitation of Steward’s Southern Drawl, and Emil actually gasped.

[weebsinstash]

Stay strong love ❣️

Thanks everyone 🥺 this whole thing was hella depressing and then I, you know, tell my mom how incredibly shitty her reaction was, basically victim blaming me when it didn't even apply, and she's gone and used that as an excuse to go to bed early when she knows she's my only transportation to this job which, I knew this was going to be a problem the second I found out this job isn't even bus accessible. Did I ever tell you guys that. That she kept badgering me to let her apply to jobs for me and I let her do it so she would just fucking leave me alone and she wound up applying to the wrong kind of job at the wrong location and later justified it as "well what if it was gone later?" Because in her idiot fucking brain the completely wrong thing you dont even want that's just going to stress you out more is OBVIOUSLY better than nothing at all/something you actually want. And she keeps saying "but we talked about this" when the greatest extent of those "talks" were me going "uh huh, yeah, sure, whatever" because she would be bringing this up almost every fucking single time she and I were in the same room

Remember kids, if someone personally wrongs you and blames you for something that isn't even your fault, you calling them out and being "too mean about it" OBVIOUSLY gives that person the right to ignore you and not have to apologize and never have to acknowledge how fucking manipulative and shitty they are!

This sort of fucking subtle "retaliation" has been happening my entire life. Even when she "helps" I am left with disappointment and anger and I'm never allowed to speak of it. My brand new job is a fucking seasonal position because she decided that was better than, I dunno, trying to contact the store and see if there was a reason certain normal positions weren't posted online, or call and see if we could apply in person, nope she just applied for a completely temporary fucking job where they may quite literally kick me out the door once a certain amount of time is up. Why the fuck wouldn't she wait to apply me to an actual permanant position. Why would she think that forcing her extremely critically depressed daughter into the wrong fucking job where all my efforts could completely go to waste and I could eventually be unemployed again through no fault of my own was a good idea.

But I mean. I'm not a good person either. I will very casually talk about killing myself all the time where she has become completely desensitized to it. The other day I became extremely emotional and started talking about how I needed to rehome my pets before I die and she's just like "no I can take care of your pets for you" which 1 not the point and 2 like BITCH YOU THINK I TRUST YOU? 🤣 I would literally kill them myself before I left them all alone under her incompetent ass

Anyways I have an overnight shift in an hour and I get to go wake her up and argue with her ass because I don't have enough money in my bank account to take a lyft 🥺 and its also like, taking a lyft this late at night on a Saturday would probably be extremely expensive. I feel so trapped with this woman

It's fucked up but. I knew that. Deep down. Part of the reason I kept talking to that guy. Was because. Part of me was hoping he was dangerous or something and that maybe I would be killed or harmed or something. And then I wouldn't have to deal with stuff like this anymore and hurting all the time

[dancingbilly]

♱ ❝ I Wanna Be Adored ❞ - The Stone Roses [1989]

A song that allowed myself to momentarily let tears stream down my face for 4 minutes & 52 seconds

The first time I ever heard this song was back in March 2022. It was a late Friday evening, around half 9 maybe 10, and I was hanging around town with my best friend. It was a full moon and we were sat in one of our local park’s band stands, surrounded by the dead of the night. Although we could hear the faint bustles of the fancy bars and restaurants across the street, the moment was full of tranquility and, what seemed like something I had forgotten about during this time, a feeling of serenity.

As the song began to play, I found myself immediately falling in love with the sequences of bass and guitar riffs that introduced themselves at the beginning of the track. I fell even harder as soon as the dreamlike vocals of Ian Brown could be heard, and all I could think about in the moment was how beautifully composed this song was. I’ve heard similar before but, nothing could comprehend to what I was hearing in that moment.

My friend began to tell me about the guy she had been talking to and how this song reminded her very much of him; reminiscing on the adventures they had shared within the short amount of time being together. I sat in silence next to her, listening to what she had to say, focusing on the emotions held behind each word whilst the song continued to flow in the background. I love to hear people’s point of view on music, especially when it’s songs that hold greater meaning to them personally. Of course, once the song had ended we began chatting about other things, before continuing whatever it was we had planned for the rest of the evening. I didn’t think much of ‘I Wanna Be Adored’ after this, and truth be told I completely forgot about it.

Until one night.

It was the early hours of the morning back in August. I was awake in a mind spiral, overthinking about numerous things. University, the future, my purposes but most importantly romance. I’m a bit of a romantic, you see, having grown up reading wattpad and fantasising about the possibility of marriage; all that sappy, ‘doesn’t really exist’ crap. There had been one boy in particular who had been running through my mind for such a long time now, and in a way I was sick of it. Sick of being hung up on something I knew was going nowhere. Sick of not being able to just ‘get over it’. I was frustrated, tired and in actual fact, had had enough.

Music helps me with a lot of things, especially understanding my emotions. It’s a way for me to express myself through the melodies and the lyrics that pass through my ears. So with this in mind, it’s no surprise I was plugging in my AirPods and scrolling through Spotify. I’m very fond of the Discover Weekly playlist that Spotify composes for you. In fact, I check it almost every week to see what gems it beholds to me (I’ve found a lot of great stuff through it). ‘I Wanna Be Adored’ by The Stone Roses was the first song to be suggested to me, and I was immediately remembered of my wonderful friend showing me the track a couple of months back, and vaguely remembering that I enjoyed it.

I gave it a play.

Immediately, I was falling back in love allover again. The riffs, Ian Brown’s vocals, the lyrics; it was even more beautiful to me than the first time I had heard it. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten such a tune. As soon as I heard “ I wanna be adored…’’ echo through the tiny speakers into my mind, I could feel the tears leaving my eyes. I cried; properly cried.

I hadn’t cried so hard yet so soft like the way I had cried during this song in such a long time. A build up of so many feelings, so many thoughts pouring down my cheeks as I laid in bed. Although I knew I was upset, I could feel a heavy weight lift from me, like a sigh of relief when you know you have nothing to worry about, nothing to stress about; that everything is going to be okay. I allowed myself to cry, allowed my pillow to get a little bit soaked. I even allowed my nose to get just a little bit snotty. I knew that I needed this release, and I knew that it would do me the world of good. As the song ended, I felt myself taking a deep breath; slowly in and slowly out. Gathering composure, I dabbed my cheeks dry and sat in silence. Thinking, but not too much.

I had never felt myself get so emotionally worked up over a song like I Wanna Be Adored before. In fact, I have never cried over a song like that before. Once again, I am astonished at the emotional capability music is able to hold over us as listeners, and what such a powerful impact it has. Of course, there are songs that make me think, that make me feel emotionally understood, but none that have ever made me tip over the edge like this one. I had it on repeat for the rest of the night, letting it engrave itself into my brain as I fell asleep.

I Wanna Be Adored by The Stone Roses is a song I think everyone should listen to. At least once. Although it won’t give you the same feeling I experienced during my re-listen, I know deep down it is a song that can mean anything to anyone, depending on who is listening (like many songs).

This is the power of music. It holds onto emotions, fills you with nostalgia and allows you to feel like the world isn’t ending, at least not yet.

♡ Weezie

Interested in aesthetics?

Check out my personal; @oheloise

[tryhardgwen]

rs archive 02/12/2024:

hello! reader with intense ‘all my love’ universe brainrot, I’m pretty sure your work actually changed my life lowkey HAHA I explored the music that you put into it and I can now say I’m listening to more 80s’ rock/alt and the song from the title was my top Spotify song for the last few weeks! (along with the 80s’ stuff heh) I literally made a playlist dedicated to this fic and I even was able to sorta reconnect a little with my older brother over the music which.. has shaped aspects of our siblingship..? (lol) now but I can’t thank you even more, I feel like the title itself reflects the amount of care and love you yourself put into this, anyways (sorry about the rambling LOL) I just wanted to reach out with a lowkey very angsty headcanon I had LMAO basically, and maybe because it was like semi recent idk I’m terrible with time HAHA, I was wondering/exploring how wooje’s birthdays were celebrated while he was still in his no-contact era away from home. I thought that it would be a day everyone would always remember and it would be this unspoken heavy weight that intensified the almost-family’s longing for their baby, I was like maybe minseok would bake his favorite flavor of cake or whatever and just have it sit on their dining table untouched, staring at it and spacing out till minhyung brought him back, or maybe all of them would meet up and just do something as a collective that reminded them of wooje without saying anything but would kinda wait to see who would be the first to say his name out loud. at the same time wooje celebrating with jojo, the idea of jojo just failing to attempt to bake smth for wooje and somehow trying to incorporate mayonnaise into it (ew I’m sorry HAHA) always makes me smile (cause I don’t wanna dump too much angst LOL) but anyways those were just some thoughts I had circulating my head along with ones just regarding more deeply on what the almost family had experienced and felt during this distance (ofc feel free to give your input), as always I’m so thankful for your amazing writing and I’m always supporting and heavily admiring your work, take care of yourself! <3

okay i think you blew my mind with this submit um. thank you. you're welcome? im so happy you loved the music and i am so. SO happy/glad/astonished that you managed to reconnect with your older brother. bonding over music>>> (also um wow.)

as for the headcanon ih my GOD just stab me through the heart will you?? THATS SO ANGSTY... HELP MEEE... tho minseok in aml universe is such an interesting character because like... while wooje is no functioning/low functioning depression, minseok is definitely high functioning depression. he pretends nothings wrong but he's still falling apart on the inside. during the four years he mainly focuses on starting his business and working every day. hes a people pleaser. i think really the only person he would ever open up to would be minhyung, really. everything he does is unspoken from caring for woojes grandpa to cleaning woojes house when it became vacant. he'll do things and not talk about the reasoning or emotions behind them. he bottles stuff up until he explodes. while this headcanon is so good and sad i honestly think they wouldnt do anything in particular..? i mean, itd be a harder day for them. they miss him, so any time of year wooje would typically be in--birthdays, halloween, christmas--would be hard. rather than an outward display of their heartache i think it'd be more internal. they feel lonelier than usual, so minhyung and minseok would have each other, and hyunjoon would probably go to sanghyeok's and seongwoong's for dinner. they just cant be alone, because theres a wooje-shaped hole there. but all that being sad, four years is a long time. it gets a little easier each year. it hurts a little more each milestone. i think, when woojes gone, they do talk about him in passing, though its a tough subject at times. you know, sometimes its cheery and "i wonder how woojes doing!" and other times its.. "i wonder how hes doing." back and forth. some have healed more from it than others. i think its a partly healed scar until he arrives back home, and he sort of rips them open again (but thats sort of necessary to properly patch it back up. like they were wonky and badly fitted stitches that didnt allow for proper healing.) whew that was an accidental paragraph im so sorry.

as for jojo he is so low effort he probably buys a safeway cake and they eat it with their hands. cutie pies :> i love them

again, thank you soo much for the comment and the headcanon i loved them so much and brainrotted and though abt it bc... i never really thought about how they would treat woojes birthdays before this!! im so glad and so touched you like this fic so much. i hope you have an amazing day <3

[spaceorphan18]

Marvel Movie Nights: Avengers Infinity War

It has been a long time since I've seen this movie - mostly because I had been waiting to get here in this project. (Can you believe it's been four years since I started with Blade??) And I've been super curious to see how it holds up all these years later.

And -- I think in a lot of ways it does! And in a few way it doesn't. But - by the

I think, for me, what makes this film so brilliant is the sheer comic book-ness of it. It truly feels, in so many aspects, like I'm reading a comic book crossover event -- where a bunch of titles come together to create one big narrative. And that is such a (sorry for the pun) marvelous thing.

I can't praise the script enough. It's got a lot of great humor in it. It's got emotion. It really lets it's incredibly incredibly huge cast shine in all sorts of ways. And it ties in all of these plot threads that we've been following for so many movies now. It's an insane kind of event to do - but I think the Russos (and screenwriters) did such a good job of keeping it about character.

And really the key thing is that it all ties around Thanos and /his/ quest to get the stones. It's ultimately his story. I still remember being in the theater and thinking about how it's essentially a fetch quest to collect all the stones. Except, that person getting the stones is Thanos. And then he wins. The snap happens. And Thanos gets what he wanted.

It's a dark, dark ending. The Wanda/Vision story still got me. Spider-Man dying got me. And, god, Thanos telling Tony he hopes they remember him - god, that really got me (but for probably not Avenger reasons.) Everyone always goes back to Star Wars Empire Strikes Back -- and this does that cliffhanger-y, get everyone to their lowest point ending, and it does it extremely well.

The story is narratively satisfying even as it breaks your heart.

Alright, so some of the things that don't necessarily work for me?

This film relies on years of build up and the surprise of what happens throughout. I don't know if it necessarily has the endless rewatchability of some of the other, more individual films. Once you've seen it - some of that emotional weight is taken away since it's no longer a surprise. And being away from its context also detracts from it as well. I don't know how well this movie stands on its own.

(Ultimately, that's fine, though - like a comic book crossover, it's almost not meant to stand on its own. It's supposed to be an event. And any good event relies on what came before it.)

There are also a few, maybe smaller, film-ish nitpicky things. The action feels a little mindless at times. It doesn't help that there are a lot of nameless monsters and a few henchmen, but unless it's Thanos himself, nothing feels that tense. And outside of the Dr. Strange duel, I don't think much of it is that visually interesting, either.

The look of the film, too is... well not great? The visual style is kind of boring (which -- hey, they had a short amount of time to do a ton of work, so I don't blame them for kind of cutting corners a little). Some of the CGI stuff doesn't hold up very well. And there are times when you just can feel that it's on a soundstage somewhere.

And, of course, there are a few story related plotholes/logic issues. It's not even why Peter Quill didn't take down Thanos when he had the chance - I actually understand the emotional issue there. But things like - how did Dr. Strange not just use his powers to cut off Thanos's hand - especially when he did it earlier in the film. And it takes Gamora way to long to figure out she should just kill herself.

But I mean - it's like asking why didn't the Eagles just take the One Ring to Mt. Doom. Sometimes you sacrifice a little bit of logic for the overall story.

Final Verdict: And like I said above, the overall story -- the characters and their emotional beats -- that really works. I love how authentically comic book this film is. And I love how it feels big and bursting and yet still manages to have all of these little moments in it. It's still a great film, and it's great that I had some time between viewings because some of the emotion was really still able to shine.

It's interesting - because there are a whole lot of people who love this more than Endgame - perhaps because of the darker tone and more seriousness of it? But, omg, I'm so ready for Endgame now!

Up Next: However, we have to wait for Endgame - Deadpool 2 is next. which I should probably watch soon, because I have never seen it and Deadpool 3 is just around the corner....