#i only had to buy them boba tea

[moonjunio]

This was so random, the 1980s ElfQuest board game popped up on Facebook marketplace - in New Zealand with local delivery by hand 🚚😲

I’m a gamer, but I hadn’t had my eye on this fairly rare collectible, since games with great IP are often not all that fun. But you know what? I tried it and had a great time with my teens! No whining, I’m amazed 😂

Full review below…

The even cooler thing is that it’s actually two games in one. The “introductory” version is an abstract tile exploration and clue gathering mission, themed on the Original Quest reuniting the elf tribes with their Palace (actually spaceship, shhh). Play takes an hour, tops.

This strongly reminded me of my favorite board game when I was a kid - Enchanted Forest - because the overall idea is to find the tiles with hidden clues on them, and be the first to guess which one has been set aside at the beginning.

The additional element in ElfQuest is that you have to explore to find the clues, then also find the location of the tile that matches the winning clue. You can’t guess without traveling to the secret location first, and a wrong guess means you lose! There’s definitely strategy in addition to minor memorizing. I think this fits the quest story well.

Each player represents a different tribe, and starts in their home location at one corner (The Holt, Sorrow’s End, Blue Mountain, and the Frozen Mountains). There’s a minor amount of combat in the introductory game, when pawns occupy the same spot.

This is a potential tense moment here, with all three of us gathered next to two clue tiles (the wooden clue tokens are my own replacement parts). But you can easily spend the whole game avoiding confrontation and still win.

Combat just means the attacker must roll an 8 or better on 2D6. The loser is pushed away two spaces. This can be important at the end, because once a player has seen all the clues, others might race towards whatever tile they appear to be targeting as the winning spot.

I was super lucky that the Palace (elf home) was right next to the last clue, because my 15 year old was hot on my heels and willing to risk a 50/50 guess. Go Backs for the win!!

I’m excited to play the full game, for several reasons:

1. You have the option of winning cooperatively or competitively, and this can change during the course of the game. This fits the ElfQuest story much better than pure competition. Games with optional alliances aren't super common.

2. Character cards! Of course the point of having a great IP is to use the wonderful characters and art. The full game has a lot of bonus cards, characters can change groups or be captured, and tribal abilities are asymmetrical (that is to say, your choice of tribe actually matters to gameplay).

3. Way more strategy! One player is the enemy Guttlekraw, who controls the trolls and races to finish a dome around the palace so the elves can't win.

Reviews said this game is complicated, but it really doesn’t look that complicated to me. If you’re not much of a gamer, then sure, but the rules were not very long and easy enough to understand.

Here’s all the components in the box. Only three cardboard counters were missing in mine, easily replaced with spare parts (more on that next time). It even still has the Mayfair Games feedback postcard and the pop out cardboard trash for all the sending star tokens 😜✨🚮

The funniest part is the fold out paper grid... seems unnecessary, but ok.

Essentially what the introductory game teaches you is how exploration works, which is actually mildly educational for younger kids. Each terrain has a different number printed on it, and you only get 14 movement points per turn. So there's a little bit of addition involved. I'd say kids from age 7ish could play independently, depending on whether they're prone to blurt out secret information and intentions :-)

That's all for this time! My kids actually want to play the full game soon, so hopefully it won't be too long until I review the rest. Shade and sweet water until then.

[villain-crown]

neutral | @jegulus-microfic | words: 1,309

critical care, part 9 (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8)

* a small amount of explicit content!!

a Jegulus nurse!AU

Regulus Black was an absolute nightmare. 

James knew this because he was watching the evidence of it in real time, in awe of the sweet-looking Slytherin who he knew to be anything but. 

After the heart attack-inducing moment when Sirius has unknowingly advised James to have dirty, unprotected sex with his precious little brother, James knew he was going to need something a lot stronger than coffee to get through the rest of this shitshow of a day. Since injecting vodka directly into his fucking bloodstream wasn’t in the cards, he’d begged, bribed, and bullied most of Gryffindor to order takeaway drinks with him from the nearest boba shop. He was just relaxing into the peace of his first sip when who else but the menace occupying his thoughts came sauntering up to the Surgical ICU nurses’ station.

James choked. 

“Hey, Reggie!” Sirius sang from near his elbow, rifling around the cardboard cup holders containing twenty plastic containers. “I have your order here.”

Taking advantage of his best friend’s momentary distraction, James couldn’t stop himself from checking Regulus out. He looked as fit as ever in his cute forest-green Slytherin scrubs, tilting his head with a devastating smirk when he caught James’s eye. 

The Gryffindor could feel his face redden as the other man’s eyes drew a long, heated line from his face, to his chest, to his waistband, and then finally, to his—

The suggestive look vanished like it was never there, replaced by something much more neutral when Sirius straightened up, holding a purple drink. 

“Here you go, kid.”

“I don’t want that one,” Regulus said with the most adorable pout James had ever witnessed in his life. He suddenly couldn’t figure out where to look or what to do with his hands when Regulus turned that look on him. “What did you order, Potter?”

Sirius raised a finger immediately as James tried to remember how words worked. “No. Don’t tell him, Prongs! No, you’re not getting your way this time, you little brat. You wanted the taro, I bought you the taro, you’re having the taro!”

Meanwhile, James thought he might pass out from the sheer intensity of Regulus’s undivided attention. 

Fuck, he’s pretty. 

“James,” the petite Slytherin cooed, and damn he was so screwed as Regulus bit his lip just so, his dove-gray eyes wide. He stepped closer so that his smaller build seemed even more obviously so compared to James’s height and muscle. Regulus’s powdery, amber scent was almost too much to resist as he tilted his neck, as though to show off the soft, unmarked skin there. “Please?”

“I… I already put my mouth on it,” James said stupidly, his lips oddly dry. 

“Oh, I don’t mind.”

That only prompted James’s imagination, which supplied a fantastic picture of Regulus not minding where else he put his mouth. For instance, Regulus with two of James’s fingers stuffed past his lips, coating them in saliva and teasing him with the warm, wet twist of his tongue. 

“Ugh, here, just take mine, Reggie.”

James was jolted back into awareness by a takeaway cup labeled Sirius being thrust into Regulus's line of sight. 

Panicking, James nearly tripped over himself for the opportunity to offer his sugary milk tea to him instead. 

“No, wait! Here, Regulus, try mine! It’s okay, really!” 

Sirius rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t encourage him, Prongs. It’s bad enough he’s got me wrapped around his stupid little finger. There’s still time to save you.”

No there bloody isn’t, mate.

“I’m supposed to be reinforcing boundaries with you,” Sirius added to his little brother accusingly. “And I didn’t have to buy your drink order, you know. You’re not even floating here.”

“Thank you,” Regulus offered with the loveliest combination of wicked eyes and innocent smile that James had ever seen on anyone.

Sirius sighed, folding immediately as he shook the drink labeled Reggie vigorously before stabbing the plastic top with a thick straw. “You’re bloody lucky I’d do anything for you, you little monster.”

That pulled a real smile to Regulus’s lips that made James want to melt.

“I’m going to bring Remus his. He’s about to admit a liver bomb and you know how busy that will be.”

Sirius wandered off, nursing his new drink, leaving just James and Regulus standing there, staring at each other. 

“What did he mean by that?”

Regulus blinked. “What?”

“That he’s supposed to be reinforcing boundaries with you.”

The Slytherin sucked at James’s straw, unconcerned. The Gryffindor watched him do so closely, imagining Regulus’s pretty curls framing his cheeks as they hallowed to suck the fluid from James’s cock. 

“Our therapist told him that.”

“Your…?”

Regulus looked at him like he was an idiot. “Therapist. You don’t survive our family without needing one. You’re his best friend. I figured he’d told you we were in family therapy.” 

James couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. While Sirius had not in fact told him so, it wasn’t that much of a surprise. From what he’d gathered about Sirius and Regulus’s parents’ underhanded and emotionally manipulative tactics, it sounded like Sirius had a hard time letting people see any sort of vulnerability, despite their years of friendship. 

But James had seen it. 

He’d seen it in the way Sirius bought his little brother boba and in the way he’d called him “kid.” It seemed like a poor repayment of their friendship, James turning around and railing Regulus in his bed for as long as the other man wanted it and his stamina allowed.

But Regulus… fuck, he was stunning and mean with an unexpectedly wicked sense of humor that was definitely going to get James killed.

Maybe if I just fuck him once, I’ll get it out of my system, James thought desperately. Sirius doesn’t have to know. 

“What’s this?” Regulus asked as he examined the white board next to them, oblivious to how his mere presence was twisting James’s thoughts and feelings into pretzels. 

It was a busy board, boasting the day’s nursing assignments as well as the names of the interns, residents, fellows, and attendings staffing the unit for July. At the top of the board in Doctor McGonagall’s severe cursive was the riddle of the day: her way of connecting with the Gryffindor staff, who James secretly thought she viewed as her own children.

“It’s the unit riddle. You text McGonagall the answer if you think you know it, and she gives you a prize if you’re right.”

“Wouldn’t people just Google the answer?”

James gaped at him, offended. “That’s cheating!”

Regulus laughed, a real, genuine laugh that made his heart stutter in his chest. A faint blush of pink dusted across the Slytherin’s fair cheeks, giving him a truly beautiful glow that was even more appealing than crowding him up against the wall of an elevator or watching him verbally overpower Tom Riddle (though it was a damn close call).

“Let’s see. ‘I have cities but no houses, mountains but no trees. I have water but no fishes, and islands but no breeze. What am I?’ Did you guess it yet?”

James was so wrapped up in the sheer pleasure of listening to Regulus speak that he didn’t answer immediately. “Oh. Yeah, but I wasn’t right about the answer.”

Speaking of riddles, if Sirius did hypothetically find out, he should only be too grateful that it was James Regulus was seducing instead of someone like Tom Riddle, who was honestly the most arrogant doctor James had ever had the displeasure of knowing. He still couldn’t believe Regulus had tolerated the man long enough for them to couple. 

Sirius hates Riddle, James told himself as Regulus contemplated the puzzle, smirked to himself, and pulled out his phone—presumably to text McGonagall his answer.

So I’m basically doing him a favor, sleeping with his brother.

((Click “keep reading” for the answer to Dr. McGonagall’s riddle! 🫶))

Answer: a map 🗺️

[brights-place]

Valorant Agent Headcannons

Pairings: None <33

Warnings: Fluff, Sillies, Headcannons,

A/N: My friend and I were rambling and writing stupid headcannons after playing a comp match so here we are \(･◡･)/

-Yoru is double jointed -Sage is heavily questioning her sexuality

-Omen is heavily questioning his mental insanity -Phoenix has a sneaker collection -Raze and KJ wake everyone up with there bots

-Chamber when he gets mad he starts speaking french sassily -Kay/0 has a file that's filled with comfort shows for the agents -Kay/0 knows how to make pancakes and makes them for everyone -Skye drags every new agent into a run in the morning -Omen once made every agent a knitted sweater for christmas… Ugly sweaters for life <33 -Breach makes good swedish sweets for everyone -Wingman would make beaded bracelets to agents he likes -Gekko bought a bead set for wingman so he could make more bracelets -When Kay/0 feels petty at an agent he will translate their mother tongue into english for the others to hear ESPECIALLY when someone talks shit (reyna) -Neon knows how to play Bass -All the young agents have tried to make a band together -Sage likes to gossip with Iso over tea and boba -When Clove’s pissed they make fanfics of the other agents >:D -Fade plays with her haunts like yarn (CANNON) -Astra collects seashells for Harbor -Sova has once had a snow globe obsession. He would bring them back to show his grandmother and place it on a shelf -Gekko has called older agents slang names -Viper is obviously a coffee woman and Reyna is a tea woman -Jett has tried to make Skyes birds move faster SHE WAS NOT HAPPY -Deadlock & Sova sometimes have a snowman building contest -KJ likes anime but also phoenix who hides it -Yoru and KJ know phoenix like anime Yoru found out by seeing Phoenix dance to anime songs -Yoru would bring back trinkets for them but denies he thought about them (LIAR)

-Reyna wants to take up crocheting

-Astra is really good at the drums

-Gekko has gotten curious on how his little friends taste he made a list

-Deadlock braids hair, and helps breach braid his

-Iso is really good at cooking and cooks with Jett in his spare time.

-Similarly, Jett and Iso have cook offs and get the other agents to vote

-Clove sneakily puts pride flag toothpicks in everyone's food

-Raze sneaks love letters in everyones lockersand watches with breach and laughs

-Harbour has a bath bomb addiction and collects them like an insane person

-Brimstone has reading glasses

-Cypher gets gifts from everyone on fathers day and also mothers day

-Kj likes making forts

-Chamber corrects the waiters pronunciation at french restaurants

-Reyna plays basketball with Gekko and helps him aim

-Phoenix is trying to learn how to sew so he can make better jackets due to Jett trying to take them

-Clove has an etsy and the only people that buy are breach and gekko

-Neon VS Gekko in any sports (NEON WINS PINOY PRIDE MFS) -Deadlock is scared of dogs

-When Neon gets sick every agent fears for their lives. Her sneezes are BIG (Zoomies) - Neon and Jett get the zoomies if they have energy drinks or coffee -Brim is a BBQ dad he makes good burgers -Imagine Fade looking into Deadlock's nightmares and seeing Cub instead of the bear -Cypher has tinkered with Chamber,Raze, and KJ’s is tech for funsies -Cypher will use people’s fetishes against them -Sova wears one of omens knitted scarves when he goes hunting -Omen gets overwhelmed by crowds sometimes so he likes to hide somewhere quietly -Jett would GRIND on Wuthering Waves and Honkai Star Rail

-Sova has different variations of prosthetic eyes and sometimes he gets gifted weirder or cooler looking ones for fun -Sova as a party trick has taken his prosthetic eye out and some younger agents who haven’t known scream like a banshee -Phoenix is a mama’s boy (I BELIEVE HE HAS TWO MUMS)

-Sage has binged Avatar The Last Airbender many times and takes inspiration from Katara

-Jett has a hidey hole full of other agents' belongings. Yoru’s knives, Phoenix’s shoes, Cyphers hat (sometimes)

-Yoru has tried time travelling, Phoenix jokes about it all the time

-When someone has a bad day, cypher watches over them over the camera to make sure they aren't doing anything bad to themself

-Yoru gives haircuts and is actually good, but he keeps yapping while using his different knives

-Gekko sings creep by radiohead in the shower when he's sad and Neon films from outside the door and jokes about it

-Omen gets too much candy due to being treated as a trick or treater

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

[yumeka-sxf]

This weekend I got the chance to visit The Alley, a boba/tea shop that's currently doing a collab for Spy x Family CODE: White!

I met up with fellow fans @mika213 and @xxscarletxrosexx there! Mika's dog Rigby was quite photogenic - he didn't mind posing with the Forgers 😅

A few cosplayers showed up as well, including someone with a Great Pyrenees who looked just like Bond (minus the black socks...his owner told me he wanted to give him black socks but was having trouble finding them).

The collab has actually been going on for a while, but only for the SxF themed drinks...June was when the Alleys in my area would be getting the actual exclusive merchandise, which is what I was most interested in. Apparently not all Alley's were getting all the items, but we got lucky and this one had everything!

I mostly wanted the tote bag, bucket bag, pins, and acrylic keychains, which I was able to successfully buy 😄

The tote bag is double sided too!

What's really cool about the acrylics is that not only can they be used as keychains, but all 6 pieces can fit together (in any order) to create a neat little box 😃

Funny story about the acrylics: Scarlet and I had collectively bought 20+ blind bags of the acrylics but didn't get a single Loid or Yor. Considering there's only 6 different designs and we bought that many, this was extremely unlikely. When we told the staff, they were nice and let us swap out duplicates if we wanted as long as we didn't damage the wrapping too much. I bought another 10 and when we still didn't get Loid or Yor, I knew something had to be wrong. The staff showed us the big bags they got of each design that they mixed into a box that people picked randomly from, and just as I thought, they didn't have any bags of the Loid and Yor acrylics! They said that they would get them for us if we could wait, which we did. 30-40 minutes later, one of the staff came back and let us switch our extras for Loid and Yor. Lesson learned: persistence pays off and don't be afraid to speak up if you think something isn't right!

[nonbinaryeggrolls]

When Someone Tries to Touch Your Hair

JJK men x gn black!reader

I had this idea for a little while and I absolutely love it. As someone who has to literally fight off ppl with a stick to keep them from basically "petting" me, I thought it would be so cute to write about the JJK men sticking up for you

Warnings: Fluff!, no nsfw but MINORS ARE STILL NOT ALLOWED GO AWAY, angst in Gojo's, specified braids/locs/twists in Toji's, unwanted physical touch, I think that's it!

Starring: Nanami Kento, Toji Fushiguro, Gojo Satoru

MINORS DNI. AGELESS AND MINOR BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

Nanami Kento

Of course he remains calm, he's always calm. but trust, inside he is BOILING with anger

Kento adores your hair, it sounds weird but he loves watching you on wash day care and tend to your hair with such detail and precision. Apart of it is so he can learn to do it himself one day so you won't have to spend so much time doing it yourself

He's always buying the best products for you no matter how expensive he knows black hair care products can be.

Design Essentials, Creme of Nature, Mielle, jojoba oil, tea tree oil, hair masks, curling cream-- you name it (or even glance at it in the store) he's already bought it for you

So seeing someone disrespect you by even attempting to touch you makes him absolutely livid

Kento: "I don't know I didn't think it was all that great, the plot didn't really make a lot of sense." Kento said as you two walked out the doors of the movie theater.

Y/N: "What?! I thought it was good, you're always hating on superhero movies you're like an old person. Oh! the boba place closes at 9:30 did you still wanna--

"Oh my gosh I just have to ask who does your hair? It's so pretty!" A young woman around your age popped up from behind you guys, her intensity kind of startling you a little bit

Y/N: "Oh, thank you that's so sweet! I actually do it myself" you smiled and she looked at you in astonishment

"Really? Wow it looks like it was done by a professional, I bet it takes you so long!"

Kento's eyebrow raise and body stiffen in an almost defensive way, he was already anticipating what was coming next

Y/N: "Yeah, sometimes it can. It kind of just depends on how tired I am that d--

Your body leaned back as she reached out to grab the top of your head. Kento wrapped his arm around you and pulled you back by your shoulders, shooting daggers at the woman as if she had just committed an unforgivable act

Kento: "Please step back. You don't need to touch them to compliment them." he reprimanded and held a firmer grip on your shoulder. He wasn't going to yell at a woman he didn't know but he sure as hell was going to get his point across

"O-oh Im sorry I didn't mean anything by it. I just think it looks really ni--

Kento: "Then you can think it's nice from a distance, they're not a dog. Have a good night." Kento intwined your hand in his and led you away to the car. You looked up at him and a small grin grew across your face

Kento: "Don't look at me like that."

Y/N: "You're like a guard dog. Like a snappy little golden retriever." you giggled before planting a kiss on his jaw which he returned with one on the top of your head

Kento: "Cmon lets go get boba."

Toji Fushiguro

Rage, Rage, and more RAGE

The anger that fills this mans body when someone tries to touch you is immeasurable, ESPECIALLY if its a man

Sometimes you have to calm Toji down when someone tries but its no use, he's already out of his seat and practically ready to kill

Toji is definitely someone who values his personal space, so he completely understood your frustration when you talked about how crazy it is that some people think its okay to try and touch you without permission

He's only seen it happen a few times, thankfully most people had common sense. But there was always that one asshole that crosses the line

You and Toji were out on a late night supply run getting items for Megumis science fair project. You roamed through the aisles of the arts and craft store filling your basket with acrylic paint, styrofoam blocks, construction paper and glue sticks

Toji: "What kind of fifth grader does a science project on soil erosion? Can't we just do something normal like a volcano or something?"

Y/N: "Are you gonna keep complaining all night or are you gonna actually help find everything on the list?" You turned around mad dogging him, both of you were tired and a little bit cranky and snappy at one another. Most of it was playful but some of it intended

Toji: "You look like a pig when you scrunch your knows like that." He chuckled attempting to pull you in for a kiss

Y/N: "You bitch-- Go get someone to open the spraypaints for us!" You said shoving your hand in his face and pushing his head back. Toji sauntered away to find the nearest employee to assist you guys

You stood alone in the aisle for a few minutes scrolling through instagram to pass the time until Toji came back, until a tap on your shoulder caught your attention. A random man, had approached you attempting to spark a conversation. Your eyes jotted back and forth around the area wondering where tf could Toji be and why was he taking so long to get back

"You got a really pretty smile you know that? Pretty hair too, you do this all by yourself?" He asked and took one of your (protective style)'s in his hands

Toji: "Now you..." Toji came up behind the man and planted a firm grip on his shoulder, "...are way too ugly and way too short to think they'd ever want someone like you to touch them. Don't you think?"

The man trembled in place at the vast size difference between the two

"I--"

He couldn't get a whole sentence in before Toji pulled him back by his hair then slammed him head first into the shelves next to him, making the man scream in pain. The star captured the attention of multiple employees and needless to say it wasn't long until you were being led out of the building by security.

Toji: "Did I do too much again?" He asked from the passenger seat, knowing full well he didn't regret his actions

Y/N: "We just got banned from the store, what do you think Toji?"

Toji: "Are you mad at me?"

Y/N: "Yes I'm mad!"

Toji: "Mm. The blush on your face doesn't look like someone who'd be mad at me." He grinned and you tried to hide the smile that started to form

Y/N: "Shut the fuck up."

Gojo Satoru

Gojo unfortunately was very ignorant to the topic at first

Maybe it was a cultural difference but when you told him people would ask to touch your hair he thought it wasn’t that big of a deal

“If someone admired your hair so much that they want to get close to it shouldn’t that be a compliment to you? It’s like they’re complimenting an artist for their artwork right? I don’t really see the harm in that, I touch Getos hair all the time and he's fine with it.” He said once before

Nonetheless it led to a very heated argument

He didn’t understand all the fuss around it, that was until he saw it actually happen

Seeing how physically uncomfortable you get when someone you don’t know tries to “pet” you put it all in perspective for him

Y/N: “Gojo, hurry we’re gonna miss the train!” You shouted as you ran through the subway station

Gojo: “I’m coming slow down! I don’t wanna drop anything.” He followed closely behind carrying the other bags of groceries you guys got from the farmers market

You both managed to slip through the train doors in time before it departed. You two managed to find two seats by the window, it was a preferred spot that way you both could gaze upon the countryside greenery as you passed on your way back to the city. Gojo leaned against the window and you leaned against his shoulder, the both of you trying to get some rest after a full day of walking.

The train stopped at its next spot to let on a few more passengers and a tap on your shoulder shook you out of your rest.

“Can i touch your hair?” a young woman behind you asked, but she had already reached out her hand before you could even answer. You pulled back before her hand could touch you

“Oh, um no please don’t do that…” you awkwardly said and turned back around. You looked over at Gojo who you know heard everything but was undermining the situation yet again

Gojo: “Calm down she didn’t mean anything by it, go back to sleep.” He dismissed you, not even bothering to open his eyes as he still laid against the window. You let out a low scoff and laid back against your seat instead of Gojos shoulder like you were before

The next few minutes we’re quiet as you dozed back off until you heard a loud camera click and could hear the girl frantically trying to turn the volume down

Y/N: “Did you just take a picture of me?”

“Oh it wasn't a bad one I was just sending your hairstyle to my friend I think it’s cute.”

Y/N: “I don’t care. Don’t take a fucking picture of me if—

“I didn’t even touch you so calm the fuck down…this is why no body likes to compliment you people anyways. You take everything too goddamn seriously.” she muttered the last bit under her breath but still loud enough to pick up. This sentence being the one that finally caught Gojos attention

Gojo: “What was that?” He stood up towering over the young woman

“I-I didn’t say anyth— I’m s-sor—

Gojo: “Shut up. Delete it. Now.” His eyes pierced through her and she scrambled to reopen her camera and delete the photos. She flipped the phone towards his face to show that they were no longer in her folder

Gojo: “Now go to a different seat. And if you touch them against i’ll smash that stupid fucking phone into the fucking concrete.” The young woman ran from her seat to the other side of the train as quickly as possible and Gojo sat back down. He attempted to put his arm around you but you wanted no part in it, for the next 30 minutes you ignored every attempt he made to get a word out of you. Even on the walk home you were cold

Gojo: “Y/N if you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t fix it!” he said as you entered your apartment

Y/N: “IVE TOLD YOU WHATS WRONG BEFORE. YOU DONT LISTEN!” you yelled, something he rarely heard you do, “I told you countless times before that people trying to touch me is a reoccurring problem for me and what did you do? You belittled me and made it seem like no big deal. Why did it take someone being blatantly racist towards me for you to actually start caring? Why did I have to prove the problem to you?” He looked back at you with no words just a stunned expression as he struggled to find the right thing to say

Gojo: “I…I don’t know. I’m sorry.” you rolled your eyes at his lackluster reply and turned away to the bedroom

Y/N: “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”

Gojo: “Y/N, wait I—

you slammed the door in his face before he could finish his sentence

story belongs to @nonbinaryeggrolls

do not steal

[dg-outlaw]

Batman insists that whenever Scooby and the gang are in or near Gotham City, he or one of the others is there to look out for them (just in case). But what happens when his only two options are Jason Todd and Stephanie Brown?

A fun, romantic, and ridiculous idea I had that's proving to be quite interesting, tonally. Expect some meta commentary and hijinks.

What I'm hoping to be a 3-part series for JaySteph Weekend 2024 (August 9th - 11th), hosted by @jaystephevents

Enjoy a snippet from my WIP below. ❤️💜

Jason Todd is bad news. Or so that was the general warning she got every time the former dead Robin’s name came up. Yes, he used to be Robin and he used to be dead. He’s neither of those things now, but that’s a story for a different day and not hers to tell.

Continuing to scroll Jason’s file on the Batcave computer, Stephanie Brown wondered what Batman had planned for them. His message to her was cryptic as usual, but he wanted to meet her and Jason at the cave. She assumed she was in trouble if it involved Jason as well, but she couldn’t recall anything she had done wrong or them having crossed paths recently. Maybe it was something else, but she had only ever interacted with Jason a few times, and mostly when they were in their gear as their respective alter-egos, Red Hood and Spoiler. Surely, Batman wasn’t planning on having them work together. Jason was the outsider in their little Gotham vigilante world, and sometimes an antagonist, and she was the wildcard nuisance that refused to go away. Either way she was told more often than not to keep her distance from the Red Hood. Tim, her ex, was not a fan of his and most of the things she’d heard about Jason came from him. Reckless, impulsive, dangerous, not afraid to kill, and uncontrolled anger issues. Those were the descriptions she often heard attributed to Jason, and they were confirmed by the profile on the screen in front of her.

Despite some meditation and a boba tea before she got to the manor, she was still feeling nervous and on edge, and not just because she was worried about being in trouble, but wondering why her and why Jason. She had no idea what he might’ve done, but she was ready to defend herself against whatever complaint or criticism Bruce might have. She knew he could be a real grump sometimes, hell, he was a grump most of the time, but she had been through too much over the years to just sit back and take a scolding from Bruce without a word in response. Despite his and Tim’s protests, she had proven herself as Spoiler, had been Robin for a hot minute (another story for another day… or maybe never), and had recently proven that she could be Batgirl. The only reason she was Spoiler again was because she needed a break and wanted Cass to take the role of Batgirl again while she focused on school. Cass had suggested they do it together, but being Batgirl after Barbara Gordon and Cassandra Cain was a big deal in her book already. Doing it alongside the perfect ninja? That was something completely different. 

“The Wikipedia article is more detailed,” came a smooth deep voice from behind her.

“Cheese and rice!” she cried out as she almost jumped out of Batman’s chair.

She turned, one knee still tucked up by her chest and the other tucked up on the chair, ready to jump, run, or fight, and that’s when she saw him, looking at her and chuckling. “Sorry.”

She narrowed her eyes and tried to act as if Jason hadn’t just scared the bejeezus out of her, but the smirk on his face said he wasn’t buying it. Only Bruce and Cass, and sometimes Tim, were able to sneak up on her without her knowing. It used to be all of them when she first became Spoiler, but her senses and stealth skills had improved, which annoyed Tim because she was now able to sometimes sneak up on him. “It’s fine,” she lied. 

Having only ever seen him with his big red helmet covering his face or from a distance with his domino mask on, he was more good-looking than she’d expected and maybe just as tall, if not taller than Bruce. She also noticed the patch of white hair just above his forehead, mixed among the unruly dark waves of the rest of his hair, was a bit more prominent. The photos in his file were older and from his Robin days, and the more recent ones were grainy surveillance photos, but seeing him up close was different. She found herself studying him, noticing the scar on his neck just below his square jaw, but underneath the dark gaze of his blue-green eyes his soft smile revealed a remnant of the happy young boy she had seen in those old photos. He was definitely handsome and could probably be an underwear model as a side gig if he needed extra money, but he also appeared older than his age.

Ugh, now I’m thinking about him in his underwear. Stop it, Steph.

Thankfully, he wasn’t in his underwear, but was wearing dark jeans and a plain gray t-shirt that fit way too snug on his muscled upper body. His hair was a bit shorter than the last time she had seen him out in the field, but maybe it was a summer haircut. He was young enough to be her peer, someone she could imagine as an upperclassman in one of her Gotham U classes, but also looked weathered by tragedy and anger.

“Wait, there’s a Wikipedia article about you?”

[bailey-dreamfoot]

Bowser and Luigi Incorrect Quotes Because Why Not Honestly

Luigi, handing a balloon to Bowser: I have no soul. Have a good day!

Bowser, walking off: I don't have one either.

Luigi: Bowser, I need some advice.

Bowser: You need advice from ME?

Luigi: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Luigi: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Bowser: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Luigi: You don’t have to wear…

Bowser: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

Bowser: I made tea.

Luigi: I don't want tea.

Bowser: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.

Luigi: Then why did you tell me?

Bowser: It's a conversation starter.

Luigi: It's a horrible conversation starter.

Bowser: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Luigi: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Bowser: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Bowser: Luigi and I are no longer dating.

Luigi: Bowser, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Luigi: *is visibly upset*

Bowser: Luigi, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

Luigi: You don't know anything about me!

Bowser: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

Bowser: You don't know anything about me!

Luigi: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

Bowser: A decision had to be made.

Luigi: And you fucked it up!

Luigi: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes?

Bowser: Making four accounts.

Luigi, tearing up: Really...?

Bowser: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?

Luigi: Not by the law!

Luigi: Bowser is not allowed to decide which one of us is the chosen one.

Luigi: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Bowser: I wrote you a poem.

Luigi, already crying: You did?

Bowser: Love makes people do stupid things.

Luigi: I love everything!

Bowser: That explains a lot.

Luigi: Hey.

Bowser: Hey?

Luigi: I can't sleep. :/

Bowser: I can. Goodnight.

Luigi: Bowser, you need to react when people cry!

Bowser: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Bowser, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!

Luigi, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

Bowser: You're violent.

Luigi: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

Bowser: Do you have a self-care routine?

Luigi: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

Luigi: They don’t make them like me no more. I’m the last of my kind.

Bowser: Thank god.

Luigi: So I was just having a conversation with Bowser about Star Wars; particularly, about the choice of architecture. The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TOO DAMN HIGH! Like, who designs architecture like this? Catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids. Giant holes to nowhere!

Bowser: It's by design. It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time.

Luigi: Like... who the fuck put this hole here???? And why????

Bowser: Exhaust?

Luigi: Darth Maul falls down a hole, Palpatine falls down a hole, Solo falls down a hole, everyone falls down a hole! Star Wars universe needs OSHA.

Bowser: Luke falls down a hole, Boba Fett falls down a hole…

Luigi: Yes, yes, I forgot about those! R2-D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive.

Bowser: We're onto something here!

Luigi: Obi-Wan almost falls down a hole.

Bowser: C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole.

Luigi: His lightsaber does though.

Bowser: *thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes*

Luigi: What if the hole is symbolic? The hole represents the dark side.

Bowser: Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side.

Luigi: Fair point.

(^ ive litterally never seen that before in my life, so i thought it was funny. but like- imagine they're talking ab Bowser's Castle design.)

Bowser: If by any chance Luigi should attack, just start calmly talking about anything.

Luigi: Bowser told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.

Bowser: Whether or not I pay income taxes is none of the government's business.

Luigi: No, well, actually, it is.

Bowser: You don't know my name or what I look like, good luck finding me.

Bowser, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

Luigi: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Bowser: I absolutely fucking do not.

Bowser: What is this!?

Luigi: That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend.

Bowser: Ow! Make it stop!

Luigi: Surrender to your kindness, Bowser. It’s nice to be nice.

Bowser: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

Bowser: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Luigi: Killed without hesitation.

Bowser: Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again?

Luigi: There isn't another one. You're crazy.

Luigi: How many children do you have?

Bowser: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

Luigi: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Bowser: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Luigi: ...

Luigi: You mean ring bearER, right?

Bowser: ...

Luigi: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

[hikarry]

Aziraphale is a boba bitch send tweet

Can you imagine?

"This does not look like tea at all, Crowley."

"It is tea! Just-" He waves his cup around. "Ya know, new type of tea. Try it up."

Aziraphale looks down at the cup on his hand again. The orangy liquid looks back at him, expecting. Will you drink me, will you drink me not?

"What are the balls for?"

"Ah." Crowley was already drinking his tea, bursting one of the apple bobas with his back teeth. "You eat them. They are like...grapes, but made of tapioca. Really sweet. You'll love it. I chose orange for you. Beginners flavour and whatnot."

Again, the angel looks down at his drink. The orange little balls don't look apetizing at all.

"So...while you're drinking your tea, little balls just get sucked along with it into your mouth and you're supposed to pop them?"

"Yup." Crowley pops another one. "Give it a try. If you don't like it, I'll drink it myself. No waste of food and all that nonesense. Cmon." He nudges the angel with his shoulder. "Trust me on this one, yeah?"

Aziraphale looked up at the demon, trying to analyse his expression for any sign of malice, but found nothing. Just a joyful smile and a slightly raised eyebrow over his ever present sunglasses. Then, he looked down at the tea between his hands again and took a deep breath. There was a reason why he stood with the classics. He didn't like change and this bizarre beverage was changing his favorite drink into...into something mundane.

But, alas, he gave in. Took the straw on his mouth and sucked. The tea was good, he had to admit, but, even though he was expecting the little balls to make an appearence sooner rather than later, he still recoilled when 3 of them invaded his mouth without permission.

"Use your teeth to pop them."

He looked up at the demon sitting next to him, uncertain. Crowley's only response was taking his own straw on his mouth and suck the rest of his own tea and the couple of bobas that were left in the plastic cup. Defeated, Aziraphale used his tongue to position one of the small balls between his back teeth and, without giving it much time for thought, bit into it. There was a sudden explosion of orange flavour in his mouth and, surprised, he looked up at Crowley again, eyes big in awe.

"Good, hm?"

He didn't anwer. Instead, he poped the other two balls and went back to sucking on his straw.

"Wow, wow, wow! Slow down, angel!" Crowley held Aziraphale's wrist and pulled the cup away from his face, slipping the straw out of his mouth. "You are going end up chocking like that."

"I'm sorry, dear boy. But you were correct. This is delicious!" One, two boba popped inside his mouth. "By heavens, humans are so imaginative! Whatever shall they come up with next? Ice cream made of yogurt?"

"That already-" The demon took a deep breath, slightly shaking his head, before getting up from his seat. "C'mon. We can drink while we walk."

"But...what if I want more?"

"We can pass by the store and buy the ingredients. Boba tea it's not hard to make." He looked down at his (ridiculous) watch. "We're getting late to watch Macbeth at the Domnar Warehouse. You bought these tickets 3 months in advance. I'm sure you don't want to miss it?"

"Ah, yes!" Aziraphale finally gets up, hooking his arm on Crowley's and lowkey dragging him out of the store, boba tea still in hand. "The cast is magnificent! I've heard wonderful things about the actor playing Macbeth!"

"Uhum." Now arriving at where they had parked the Bentley, Crowley opened the door for Aziraphale. "I'm sure. Dinner on me after the show?"

Aziraphale, half inside the car half out, smiles up at him.

"If we stop by somewhere to buy the little balls for the tea first."

Crowley smiled back, rolling his eyes. No one was supposed to know he was rolling his eyes, but Aziraphale knew him well enough, and slapped his arm.

"Yes, yes. In you go, angel. I don't want to have you whining over getting late to the show again."

"You would never allow such a thing, my dear." The angel leaned slightly closer, laying a chaste and quick kiss on Crowley's lips, before fully entering the Bentley and closing the door himself.

Right. Yeah. Crowley would make him all the boba tea he ever desired for the rest of eternity if the angel kept kissing him like that.

[jogos-delulu-wife]

Being the one constantly in his life, a weird source of comfort for the grouchy curse

It was cute in a way how you constantly advanced on him romantically and he never knew how to react, on occasion he would accept and appreciate gifts, help and assistance you’d selflessly give,

As for your soft touches, quick kisses and jumping and hugging the poor curse he’d often heat up way to easily out of shock or being flustered by your actions, leading to the few scars on your skin that you’d display so proudly

“Jogo gave me these and I love them 🥺” Geto simply offering a closed eye smile not thinking to much, Mahito was having a riot at how you thought the burns on your skin were something to cherish, immediately retaliating “Shut it you patchwork rag doll looking hoe! At least someone I admire gave me mine, Your little stitches scream i was abandoned by God and dragged through hell-” Geto stepping between the two of you as Mahito brought a hand up and you’d snap causing the special grade curse living inside you to manifest behind you “Now now let’s not get to ahead of ourselves here.”

Huffing out your nose you continued your side eye at Mahito as he’d walk off, unbeknownst to you, and to Geto’s humor Jogo stood a ways off bothered and heating up the air around himself, Hanami watched it all without interfering, a bit interested at Jogo’s reaction as well.

With time you moved in more and more into Jogo’s life, til the point where when he was sent out on missions you’d wordlessly join and he wouldn’t detest, silently acknowledging your presence and accepting your company. The same way to when Geto would send you out being the only other human to run errands when a human was needed Jogo would find a reason to go along, under the pretense of needing to do something else and it’s not to accompany you.

These secluded moments often led to what would be considered unofficial dates, mostly Jogo humming along to your words and indulging in your actions, begging him to try the Boba tea and snacks you’d buy from the convenience shops. Over all learning his favorite sweets were more bitter dark chocolates or spicy savory snacks to offset the sweet drinks you constantly offered him a sip of. It wasn’t his favorite thing but deep down inside he couldn’t stand your pout and whine if he stood by his firm “No it’s disgusting”

Eventually the day came when you caught him soundly sleeping in the room you had all rented at the Hot spring house, he laid propped up against some pillows, arms behind his head, reduced to a bathrobe to keep his modesty, smoke pipe loosely in his lips, you looked around snickering, looking down at your sleeping clothes you moved quietly dropping onto his futon, you heard him exhale through his nose before moving closer to his right side, sliding closer you laid your head and hand on his chest and looking up at him slightly, his brow furrowed a bit and you smiled,

Sliding your left arm under him and hugging his torso you propped your right leg over his and didn’t fight the instinct to cuddle into his side, eyes closing you slowly fell into a warm and comfortable sleep, after your breaths softened Jogo peered down at you just barely opening his eye, sighing he wrapped his right arm around you, fingers tracing lightly the skin of your shoulder and bicep, staring at the ceiling he couldn’t help but ask himself how he’d let himself get so comfortable with a non-cure much less a human at that

Soon his pipe was tucked away and he fell into sleep holding you tightly tucked into side, he’d never openly state it, but he did care for you, your wellbeing, so he’d keep you by his side to stay safe with him

[sodajerking]

Evergreen Canned bubble tea

I wanna preface this by saying, I do think it's bad form to review something I haven't drank recently but I have been complaining abt these for months and I absolutely refuse to buy another one just for the sake of my own integrity. I hope you'll forgive me.

This review is very simple. Keen eyed viewers may have already realized the problem with these. If you haven't yet, let me break it down for you:

You all know how to drink from a can don't you? You open it, a satisfying hiss, a crack as you pull back on the tab, you bring the cold metal to your lips and you take a deep, delicate, swig, throat bobbing as you swallow (is it getting hot in here?)

But boba are solids, aren't they? Denser than liquid, they sink to the bottom of the beverage, do they not? They must be sucked silly up through a bigass straw, that's the principle, isn't it?

So guess what happens, when you buy a tall can of bubble tea and drink that delicious purple ichor, tilting the can higher and higher to plumb at its depths, the unusual weight of it in your hands the only warning you have for what is about to happen next, when a mass of boba stuck on the bottom tumbles forth to completely fuck your whole shit up.

And before you give me this bullshit of "use a straw" I need you to understand that these are full sized boba, ie they require special sized bigass straws which they don't carry at the random ass convenience stores selling these things. Unless you happen to be carrying a Boba straw around with you, there's no way to get at them. So no, you can't just use a straw.

Also the boba themselves are by far the worst boba I've ever had. They're very hard to chew, completely flavoureless; they're just gross. And I like boba for the record I have a very high tolerance for a wide variety of gummy/gelatin textures. Like i really could review gummies as well but I'm trying to stay focused here.

F tier. This is a failed product made by idiots.

[headingalaxys-sweet]

Spooky Season Shenanigans for the Nekos Part 1

America-Cat 

He begins to gather clumps from his litter box and soil that is damp from the backyard. America cat has taken some of his owners socks which he uses as casings to store his ‘ammunition’. This crazy cat is even in the midst of crafting an underground lair of sorts. He’s stored a few long lighters, fireworks, toilet paper rolls, eggs he’s brought to ‘ferment’, masks, costumes, etc. America cat is going to be putting on an entire production. If he already wasn’t the King of Halloween this will make him the king now for like ever meow! 

Canada-Cat 

Has gone to cat markets, candle shops, and bakeries where cat’s all over the world come to visit when Sept 1st hits. There is one shop in particular that sells this legendary Maple Fish Cake, which only available during this time of year. They’re so popular in fact that they have to limit cats with only being able to purchase 5 of these specialty cakes for the season. [Yes, there were many years where scammer cats hoarded the entire stock of cakes in the morning. They’d mark up the price of them 300% to say that ridiculous is an understatement but the cakes are that yummy. And they may or may not have a special cat-nip lacd in them] 

Canada-cat tentatively passes by the costume shops debating with himself on if he’s going to attend his brothers cat’s annual Halloween party and prank-a-thon. 

China-Cat

Busy raiding his owners' pastry / cookbooks to make an entire special Fall menu of food for the season. He will do more to spend time in the sun while it still lasts. China-cat wants his dark chestnut fur to get nice and toasty so he can store it away for the Winter months. [So his old bones don’t get frozen and brittle.] China-cats favorite pass time is to go to Yi Dian Dian & The Alley once or twice a day to get a hot or cold milk tea that occasionally has Boba in it. 

England-Cat 

His tail will be flicking back and forth lowly on the carpet. The season where he got to be on the fresh grass or out on the open sea. When he daydreamed about the wide open waters he thought about the days that he was a mouser alongside his swashbuckling and commanding owner. As England cat was in the midst of his thoughts clouds made the sky darker and the air became colder. When his head rises he was able to catch the last milliseconds of a lightning boldt. He hears low chattering rising from the basement. 

‘Arthur must be at it again so he can try to win Halloween this year against that Yank. I guess now is a good time for me to maybe get ready for America cats shenanigans this year as well.’

France-Cat

He’d invited ‘Charmy Chartreux,’ a famous cat known for doing home holiday decorating, planning, and execution. By the time Spet rolls around, France cat will be ready for the season of the spooky but make it posh & elegant. Tangerine tea lights, pumpkins with the flur de lese, macaroons, & the Eiffel Tower carved into them. He even managed to make a deal with Canada-Cat to have a shipment of Maple Fish Cakes sent to him. 

Germany-Cat 

Planning safety guides for cats and what to do when you’ve had too much cat-nip contingent plans. He knows America-cat is planning an insane rager complete with ill-advised pranks, stunts, and performances all meant to stroke his ego. Germany-cat also makes note to buy extra sausages, treats, and Apfelsaft (Apple Juice—just make it sparkling). He does this so no cat is on an empty stomach and has its whiskers twisted by catnip. 

Italy Cats 

They haven’t thought about Halloween all that much. They’re just vibing with the season changes. The crisper air carried the fresh scent of harvested grapes, olives, pumpkins, etc. The two of them love stealing Felicianos tortelli di zucca (pumpkin soup), minestrone, and strudel di mele. 

“Germany! Germany! Help me! The kitties have run a-way with my delicious food again!” 

Japan-Cat 

Yet, another cat who loves to watch the season transition into the next. He adores watching the thousands of leaves float down to the ground. The mesmerizing colors of the fall leaves are cornsilk, fawn, midnight greens, and burnt oranges. All these colors melded together to create a beautiful scene that is ephemeral and sort of angelic in a way. Japan-cat has a special stash of tuna that he likes to eat when he finds a magnificent view. 

While he eats he’s working out how he’ll survive another America-cat rager. 

Russia-Cat 

Happily roaming the streets receiving belly rubs, scratchies, and treats from the last of the summertime tourists. Halloween only seems to come to his mind when his owner mentions it or begins to decorate for it mid-September. When Ivan does begin to get the decorations out Russia-cat gets far too comfortable in the organs of one of the pumpkins Ivan has made. 

“Really, my little cat?” He crouches down to pet his loveable but somewhat mischievous cat. 

“Meow.” (Da.) Russia-cats beady eyes will be looking at Ivan like: “I’m cute and a cat. What are you not understanding? I’m number one now, BELLY RUBS human BELLY RUBS!” 

[soft-teddybear]

ateez - gifts they’ll give their s/o

genre: fluff

cw: none that I’m aware

summary: Christmas special! What would ateez give to their s/o as a christmas present and why.

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction made for entertainment and from my point of view of the members.

members under the cut.

seonghwa: thootless plushie.

he wanted to give you something to keep you company while he went away for his activities, but he wanted to be original and after thinking about it for long he finally got it: a toothless plushie with recording of his voice saying different things like i love you, stay safe, take care. seonghwa also made sure that the button was har to get while cuddling so it won’t scare you at nights if you press it by accident, he also got matching scarfs for the three of you so it could be part of your family.

hongjoong: personalised bag.

he would buy a bag of your favourite color and decorate it using things you loved: lyrics from your favourite songs, meaning full dates or things that remind you of special occasions or events in your life, everything to make it more you. for someone that didn’t know you most of i wouldn’t make sense, but you knew the meaning behaving everything and were surprised hongjoong knew you so well. the big was a big art piece of everything that represented and made your personality and it included things that hongjoong loved about you.

yunho: favourite drink gift card.

call it coffee, boba, regular tea, yunho know what you love to drink and that you drink it lots, so he thought of a gift card, but a normal one was boring so he went big. yunho got a membership card and added money to it, the equivalent of a drink for each week of the year, that way he could “invite” you for a drink even when he was away or busy whit his schedule. that isn’t stoping him from paying your drink every time you go out, no, he still pays saying that this way the gift could last longer.

yeosang: gaming set.

most specific a keyboard and headphones, you liked to play online video games with him when you couldn’t see each other, it was like a long distance date but your sent wasn’t the best and it caused problems. so yeosang helped you build your own gaming set by giving you part of it, on your favourite colours of course. that wasn’t the only reason thought, he wanted you to have a set that would also motivate you to do your school work and study and he loved your company while gaming so it was a win-win situation, a gift for the both of you.

san: matching jewellery.

he wanted to give you something to remind you of him even when he was away on tour or really busy to meet you, and he also wanted it to be discrete so he could use it on his daily life with out getting too much attention so a matching set of a necklace and a bracelet was. they has each other’s birth stone, so you’ll have san’s and san has yours, it was an expensive gift but he really didn’t cared because he wanted to feel you close and four you to feel the same but in a more discrete and fashionable way.

mingi: big coat.

it was an inner joke, you always steals his hoodies, jackets and coats because you “were cold” but in reality you just wanted to be hugged by his warm clothing full of his smell, so he bought you a big coat that matched most of your clothing, with a little extra gift inside a pocket: a bottle of his perfume. that way you could ad it to the coat or any other thing you wish that smelled like mingi. he made sure you knew you could still take his clothing but that he wanted to help you build your own style and maybe keep most of his coats to himself in the process.

wooyoung: photo album.

printed and decorated lots of pics of his favourite memories with you, all of them takes by him, the album was almost full of beautiful memories and had some empty spaces for you to fill them with your favourite. the decoration was so pretty too, some doodles, stickers, quotes and detailed that brought even more life to the images, they were really amazing and you almost cried while looking at it, because it was almost full because both wooyoung and you loved every single time you spend together, ben if it’s not really planed.

jongho: big teddy bear.

went extra because it’s dressed and smells like him. once you told him that you missed his cuddles, you were particularly needy that day so the statement came out dramatic, but jongho took note so when Christmas was near and he looked out for a teddy bear big enough to wear human clothing and bought him an outfit soft enough to cuddle with, he then spend lost of nights cuddling with the plushie and adding his perfume so it’ll smell just like him on the day he’ll give it to you. said day came and you cried a bit when you opened it because it was the most perfect gift.

n/a: Rosie Christmas gift, sorry if it’s a mess but i had to rewrite the whole thing besucase i lost the original and i was sad. thank you for supporting my work this year, it was really one of the highlight and it makes me really happy.

[mothmags]

More Nashi headcannons

This time, her relationships with her family!

part 2 - part 4

Natsu

I said it before and I'll say it again she is a daddys girl

Her and her dad were super close when she was little, and they are still very close now

Natsu is so proud of his little girl.

This mf will brag to everyone about how strong and brave she is

very much like how guildarts acts about cana vibes

she tries to seem humble about it, but it's very obvious that she likes the praise

these two team up to prank people. April fools day is dreded in the dragneel household for this reason alone

he has since learned to knock when entering her apartment after accidentally catching her and maree in the mid romantic moment (they were not having sex THANK GOD)

"their not dating my ass," but he mostly keeps it to himself. they will tell everyone when their ready (totally not connecting that he and lucy had that same kinda relationship when they were younger)

be buys her and her brother a gift if he's gone on a long mission

yall KNOW. He's going to be a great dad

Lucy

when she was a teen, her and her mom had BEEF

nashi would not listen to a word she said even if it was for the best

nashi was just sick of having her tell her what to do

she grew out of it by her late teens' early 20s, tho

they were super close when she was a kid and are becoming closer now that shes out her teenage angst era

even though they had a rocky couple of years, they would still do magic lessons on wednesdays

before they go for their weekly lessons, they get coffee or tea at the local cafe that opened up down the street

Lucy gets a mocha latte and Nashi gets a boba tea

they talk about books and how their week has been and general catch up since sometimes their schedules dont sync up

these two, even in nashis' teen years, they gossip to each other about stuff happening in the guildhall while the other was away

nashi also tells her mom everything shes been working on in her studies at FSI

lucy is always ecstatic since some of it is stuff that isnt public knowledge yet

luxy tries really hard to be a good mother to her kids and now that nashi isnt a kid anymore she sees how much work and love her mom gives to make their family happy

Neil

She low key thinks he's a babied brat

They "fight" a lot. mostly about trivial things, but it never gets serious. its mostly teasing

they dont throw hands often with eachother its mostly verbal

Lucy would ground them for fighting, and they would both be like "moooom >:( we were just having a little fun"

he breaks into her apartment several times a week to steal snack on the way to the guild

when he tries to set up a prank in her apartment maree catches him like 75% of the time

she just kinda backs away and doesn't snitch because she thinks it'll be funny

sometimes hed just break in to knock a drink off her counter and turn the lights off or just generally be a nuisance for a hot second then just leave

nashi never gave him a key. This guy just breaks in through her window.

sometimes loke lets him in tho

he stays with them when his parents are on a long mission

not because he needs someone to watch him but because he gets bored in an empty house

they very much have the "only I'm allowed to be mean to my sibling" dynamic and will fight anyone who tries to break that

when they both were living under the same roof, it was incredibly chaotic but once she moved out he missed her a lot

hed never tell her that tho

Happy

besties for the resties

he joins her on smaller jobs when she can just go by herself

he joins in because "a lady shouldn't travel alone!" but he just wants to hang out with her

when she was younger and more rowdy, he would try to keep her out of trouble but would get wrapped up in whatever prank she was doing at the time

he would join her for mostly every job for this reason, but since neil goes out on jobs alone now, he mostly joins him (and ofc he joins natsu and lucy on theirs aswell when they do big ones)

he steals food from her apartment with neil

he teases her like how he teases lucy but ofc its all light hearted

[curestaarlight]

Sure, I'll bite.

What are your headcanons about the Link Click trio's favorite ice cream + hot beverage + cold beverage and why. :)

thank you for the ask!! also i have indeed started reading third time's the charm and !!!! already hitting me in the feels

ok SO I'll go character by character:

qiao ling: for favourite ice cream I'm generally thinking fruity/refreshing flavours, though more specifically (maybe because of one of her official arts i saw recently) strawberry! but she might also be picky with what makes Good strawberry ice cream and plays it safe if she's buying from a new place. probably vanilla, i feel like one can't really go wrong with vanilla.

as for drinks, i like the idea that QL and LG enjoy tea together. QL will shuffle over to the studio after hours and do a face mask and LG will prepare them tea (always non-caffinated, because QL says she's too sensitive to caffeine lately at night), and they'll drink it and enjoy each other's quiet company. LG probably reads while QL does some scrollingon her phone.

finally for cold drinks, we already know that boba runs are a common occurrence at the studio, but i bet QL also really loves trying out novel iced-drinks. I'm thinking caramel iced lattes, strawberry chai iced, green energy smoothie 3000, etc. drinks with really long, convoluted names, that are kind of a fad but that's ok!! let her have fun with her silly little drinks!!!

cheng xiaoshi: i think, contrastingly, CXS is a big fan of the ice cream flavours that can border on sickly sweet, depending on the place. he likes chocolate, and cookie dough, and those ice creams loaded with lots of other sweets inside them. mind you, i don't think he has ice cream like that regularly or he'd definitely get sick of it, but when the opportunity arises trust he'll be asking for all the extras and sprinkles.

for hot drinks—CXS likes coffee! i don't think he Always liked coffee, because it's such an acquired taste especially when you're younger. during uni he probably got into it in the quest to stay up and meet those damn deadlines lol. so he grew used to drinking it from there. he either: takes his coffee black but with quite a bit of sugar (which LG tuts at him for) or he has it milky.

his cold beverage of choice....he kind of gives me standard iced coffee + extra sugar + chews on the leftover ice cubes after lmaoo. he also does indulge QL when she drags him to a pop up shop to get a limited time Novel Iced Beverage.

lu guang: doesn't like ice cream 😞 if it's really hot he'll have ice lollies/popcicles and if you held him at gunpoint and told him he HAD to choose, he'd choose vanilla. however, he will sometimes have spoonfuls/a bite of CXS's ice cream. Occasionally. more often than he'd willingly admit. CXS always makes fun of him, saying, "you don't even like ice cream, so why are you suddenly so eager to have mine?" (he never stops him though)

hot beverage: i did go over this a little in QL's section hehe, but let me elaborate! i think LG prefers tea, but has a robust beverage routine, in which he'll have black coffee (no sugar. ok sometimes maybe a teaspoon. but only Sometime) with his breakfast. then in the evenings he'll have his tea (sometimes with QL). I like to think though he mostly has green tea, he really likes oulong. CXS pokes fun at how devoted LG is to this routine of his, and in turn LG will lecture him about how having caffeine after a certain hour is bad for him and really, he ought to be drinking more tea for its health benefits, etc, etc

cold beverage: because we know that LG doesn't like overly sweet things, but likes boba, i can't help but to think he enjoys most forms of iced tea. like he'll make himself homemade iced tea during the summer and have it all throughout the day!

ok ok im done now apologies this is so long-winded i am nothing if not overly detailed about my blorbos

[goodlucktai]

give me something that’ll haunt me when you’re not around

chapter two: stuck on the thought of you

rise of the tmnt pairing: leoichi (leonardo / usagi yuichi) word count: 2k title borrowed from sunroof by nicky youre and dazy post-movie

(previous) (next)

read on ao3

x

Yuichi lasts another whole day before his scraped-together willpower completely fails him. Okay, half a day. At work he approaches Sunita in that lull between the lunch and dinner rush while she’s folding linens for the tables and makes his daring move.

Her phone is propped up against the napkin holder, playing a music video by a human performer Yuichi is unfamiliar with. Sunita is bopping along to it and doesn’t notice Yuichi until he’s standing directly in front of her.

When she does, she jumps about a foot in the air, yelping loud enough that a few of their coworkers on the other side of the dining room turn and shoot them judgemental looks.

“I’m so sorry!” Yuichi fumbles. He’s constantly accidentally sneaking up on people, but just watch him try to sneak out of the house on purpose to go joy-riding with Chizu and Kitsune. He gets caught nine times out of ten, usually before he’s even halfway out his window. It’s a joke.

“Ugh, I spend all my time with ninjas these days and I still get spooked,” Sunita says, patting her chest where her heart must have leaped in surprise, but her tone is good-natured. “You’d think I’d be used to people popping up out of nowhere by now, with how often my girlfriend’s little brothers do it, but nope! Anyway, sorry, did you need something?”

“Uh, hi,” he says at length. To his alarm and dismay, he doesn’t actually know where to go from there. It’s very possible he didn’t think this through. “I mean, I just wanted to say hi.”

Sunita saves him with a smile, her visible eye crinkling with the force of it.

“Hi, Usagi,” she says brightly. “Lunch was wild, huh? Did you make good tips?”

“Yeah, actually. It almost made my ten-top worth it.”

His coworker laughs, commiserating the way only a fellow server possibly could, but her eyes drop back down to the napkins. She mentioned to him once that she has to split her focus constantly, to be sure not to leave slime residue behind on everything she touches.

Yuichi is finished with his side work for now, so he reaches for a stack of the linens and drags it across the table toward himself, settling in to help. Sunita seems happy to have his company and doesn’t mind leading the conversation, his brief, generally one-word contributions no deterrent at all. It’s always been easy to talk to her.

“Um, hey,” Yuichi says very casually when he’s bolstered enough courage. “I was wondering if you had Leonardo’s number? I don’t have it, and—it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him.”

“Oh!” To his immediate disappointment, Sunita looks apologetic. “Oh, I totally would, but it’s not really a good time? Things are kind of touchy right now.”

Yuichi focuses very hard on the napkin he’s folding because otherwise he’d probably stare at her as if he’s hanging off her every word, and that. Well that would make him seem desperate. And he’s not desperate.

“Because of the invasion?” he asks. His friend nods, her bubbly good cheer displaced.

“Yeah. It was really bad. I don’t know all the details but April and her boys were right in the thick of things. And after—well, after, Leo wasn’t doing too good. It was pretty scary. So his siblings sort of just closed ranks around him.” She slimes the napkin she’s holding and makes a face at it, balling it up in her hands. She finds another smile for Yuichi and adds, “Hey, how ‘bout this? I’ll text April and see what she thinks, okay? I’ll bet Leo would love to hear from a friend!”

Sunita is the best. He’s buying her boba tea after work tonight. And maybe, if she gets him Leo’s number, he'll buy her boba tea after work from now until the day they die.

Later that night, when he’s helping wash dinner dishes, Yuichi’s phone starts vibrating like it’s fighting for its life. When he checks it, he finds messages from Sunita rolling in. She’s a quintuple texter on a good day.

SUNA: hey ₍ᐢ.  ̫.ᐢ₎ SUNA: good news!! SUNA: april says she’ll meet up with you tomorrow SUNA: you’re off right? i said you’d come to the restaurant SUNA: she has classes in the afternoon so it’ll have to be before 11

Yuichi notes right away that there was no mention of his potentially not meeting up with April tomorrow. He gets the feeling he doesn’t have a choice.

Usagi: That’s great. I’ll ask auntie but I should be free. SUNA: okay april will see you there at 10 am sharp !! Usagi: Thanks, Sunita. I owe you one. SUNA: no prob!! ☆૮꒰ˊᗜˋ* ꒱ა

The bunny emojis would rankle if they were sent by literally anyone else, but from her they manage to be adorable. Yuichi locks his phone and sets it face-down on the counter, then clears his throat.

Auntie glances at him, rubbing a sponge around the inside of a casserole dish. Two of his cousins are parked at the counter with coding manuals and coloring pages but two is better than the full audience of five, so Yuichi just goes for it.

“Would it be okay if I skipped my morning chores tomorrow?” he asks quickly. “I know the farmbatto still needs fixed but I promise I’ll get it done!”

“You stay far, far away from my robot,” cousin Botan says loudly without even deigning to look up at him, little seal point face buried in an unethically-sourced textbook thicker than Usagi’s arm. “It’s still holding a grudge from what you did to it last time.”

“It was an accident, and it was as much Momiji’s fault as mine!” Yuichi shoots back.

Momiji sends him a look of absolute betrayal, her russet-colored fur bristling in offense. “Was not! You were the one who said we should play samurai!”

“Alright, enough,” Auntie says with a clap of her hands that causes little dishsoap suds to scatter. Botan and Momiji both settle down, but considering they’re ten and six years old respectively, it’s not much of a victory. “Yuichi, what are you up to now?”

Yuichi twists the dishtowel in his hands. “Uhhhhh, so you know—you know Leonardo?”

His cousins both snort. Yuichi whips around to pin them with a glare. “What was that? Why did you do that?”

“Do we know Leonardo?” Botan asks dryly. He’s very sarcastic for such a tiny rabbit. “Hamato Leonardo? Gee, I dunno. You only bring him up nine billion times a day.”

“I do not!”

“Ignore them, baby,” Auntie says, amused. “What’s this about Leonardo?”

“Uh, well, he hasn’t been around lately. And I work with his big sister’s girlfriend, so I asked her about him, and she told me that he was—I mean, I guess he got hurt during that invasion. She couldn’t tell me much, so I was going to meet his sister tomorrow morning.”

Auntie drops the sponge in the dishwater and braces her hands on the edge of the sink, brow furrowed. “What? That poor boy was hurt and you didn’t tell me until now?”

“I didn’t know until now,” Yuichi says. Then, a little desperately, he adds, “Please be normal about this.”

“I’m making him a care package and you’re making sure he gets it,” Auntie steamrolls over him in her most no-nonsense tone. She abandons the dishes left in the sink and starts bustling around the kitchen. “If you’re seeing his sister in the morning, I’ll need to get started on it now.”

Yuichi gazes out the window at the darkening sky, praying that his ancestors will smite him on the spot, but unfortunately he lives to see tomorrow.

Also unfortunately, April doesn’t cancel or blow him off the next morning, and is even earlier than their agreed-upon meet-up time. She’s standing outside Run of the Mill when he gets there, her arms crossed and her mouth set, and if she’s nervous about all the big yokai milling around on the street, opening their stores or heading down to the market, she doesn’t show it at all.

She picks Yuichi out of the crowd with steely brown eyes and he steps up his pace a little bit, Spot trotting faithfully at his side.

“Good morning,” he says, hoping it’s a safe enough start when she seems annoyed with him already.

“Yeah, you too,” April replies. She considers him for a minute, then uncrosses her arms and stands a little taller, squaring her shoulders and jutting out her chin. “Sunita told me you wanted Leo’s number. Look, if this is some kind of joke, I’m not laughing.”

Um. What? Dumbly, Yuichi parrots, “A joke?”

“Leo may be the absolute worst sometimes, but he’s still one of the best people I know all the time,” the human goes on hotly, as if they’re both on the same page here. Yuichi has the sinking feeling that they’re reading completely different books. “Whatever you’re trying to get back at him for, it ain’t worth it. You do anything to hurt him and his brothers would go on the warpath, and frankly so would I.”

“I’m not trying to get back at him for anything,” Yuichi blurts. Honestly the only thing he wants payback for is all the real estate in his brain that Leonardo takes up, but that’s not something he’s willing to admit, out loud, with his mouth, where someone might hear him. “Why would you think that?”

“Because you can’t stand Leo,” April says plainly. “You always look pissed off when he’s around. I know he can be annoying as hell, but if you can’t see how good he is, too, then that’s your loss.”

Something in Yuichi’s chest folds right in half. Wow, it hurts a lot.

Historically, resting bitch face runs in his family. Usagi Miyamoto was known for many things, one of which was his dark, glowering expression. He isn’t smiling in a single painting of him that exists. Yuichi is usually very proud of every single trait that he’s told he inherited from that famous samurai, but maybe he could do without this one.

Now he’s combing through every interaction he’s ever had with Leonardo, every conversation. He’s picking apart each exchange and trying to look at it from a third party’s point of view. Did it seem like he didn’t want Leonardo around? Is that what Leonardo thought?

The striped turtle had a way of plowing unceremoniously through uncomfortable silences, of carrying the conversation when Yuichi’s tongue was all tied up, and it seemed as easy for him as it always was for Sunita—her vibrant personality and Leonardo’s charming one, filling the gaps Yuichi’s social awkwardness tended to create.

But maybe it wasn’t that at all. Maybe it was easy for Leonardo to talk to Yuichi because he figured he had nothing to lose—because he thought Yuichi disliked him already.

Suddenly, the only thing Yuichi wants to do is go back home, march up the stairs to his loft, climb back into bed, and stay there for approximately a hundred years. Spot leans his head against Yuichi’s leg, sensing his downward spiral the way hounds are trained to sniff out foxes.

“That’s not true,” Yuichi says. It sounds weak to his own ears.

He doesn’t know what else to say, and Leonardo’s sister isn’t willing to fill the silence the way Yuichi’s friends are. He looks everywhere but at her, flexing his hands, then remembers what he’s holding.

“Oh. This is from my aunt,” he tells the ground, holding out the embroidered bag Auntie forced upon him before he could slip out the door. “Sorry. I told her about—and she—yeah. Please tell Leonardo it’s from anyone else. Tell him it’s from Señor Hueso.”

“He’ll know it’s not from his tío at a glance,” April says. She sounds surprised and agreeably lifts the bag out of his hands. Huffing a laugh at how heavy it is, she gazes at Yuichi thoughtfully, then takes a peek inside. 

He probably should have seen that coming. Yuichi does his best to sink into the ground and disappear as she takes in the tupperware containers and plastic-wrapped pastries.

April looks back up at him. Some of the ice in her eyes has thawed.

“I’m definitely telling him it’s from you,” she announces.

“From Auntie,” Yuichi stresses desperately.

“Right,” April says. She’s grinning outright now. She shoulders the bag like it weighs about as much as a handful of grapes, and props her free hand on her hip and says, “You got your phone with you?”

“Uh-huh,” Yuichi says, dazed. Is this what whiplash feels like? He felt sort of like this when he crashed his bike in the watermelon field last year.

“Give it.” April makes a grabby gesture, swiping his phone from him immediately when he holds it out. She taps at it for awhile, then tosses it back. Her own phone chimes from the pocket of her jacket, cluing Yuichi in to what she was doing. “There. You’ve got my number and I’ve got yours. If Leo likes his present, I’ll pass your digits along.”

Her tone has warmed considerably. She winks at him and Yuichi has to remind himself sternly that it would not be cool to bury his face in his ears and hide there until she went away.

Is Leonardo’s entire family like this? Because it feels like Yuichi has just survived a tornado or tsunami or some other terrifying force of nature, and this conversation wasn’t even ten minutes long.

April waves cheerfully and takes off at a brisk jog, weaving through the Hidden City streets like she was born and raised here. Yuichi sinks onto a bench, presses his forehead against his knees, and calls Chizu while he’s still all curled over into a yokai pretzel.

“I’m calling in a favor you owe me,” he says by way of hello the second she picks up. “Meet me at the market street.”

“I don’t owe you anything,” she replies dryly.

“It involves getting ice cream and making fun of my life choices.”

“We’ll be there in twenty.”

Yuichi ends up blowing the rest of his pocket money for the week on parfaits from their favorite street food stall, and his friends definitely don’t hold back laughing at him when he unpacks the latest installment in the befriending Leonardo saga, but it doesn’t seem as hopeless with the three of them around.

Gen in particular, big softie that he secretly is, hoists Yuichi up to ride on his shoulders as they make their meandering way back to Usagi Farm. It’s the rarest of gestures. Not even Kitsune’s best doe-eyes gets her a shoulder ride.

His friends make Yuichi feel ten feet tall.

And the next morning, he wakes up to nine new texts from an unknown number. A lot of them are just strings of exclamation points and emojis. He knows exactly who this is.

Yuichi’s fingers tighten around his phone as his ribs seem to tighten around his heart. A grin spills across his face before he can help it, mirroring the relentless summer sunshine pouring in from the window above his bed.

[themonotonysyndrome]

"Hey guys, it's 8r19h7 eYE2 here. Welcome to my first boss battle - a woman."

If you ask Bright Eyes - which no one is doing nowadays. Or talk to. So rude. - their ultimate weakness has always been hot women. Now you might be asking "Oh, does that mean you're Bi?" or "What's your body count?" or even "Holy fuck, Bright Eyes! When did you get in the shower with me!?" but that's not important. What you should be asking is what type of women Bright's heart explodes for like a car crash.

The answer? Preferably boss-ass bitches that can crush them with a pair of fuck-me-heels with daddy issues of the Frank Ocean level. Google it.

Oh and look! There's one here in Wonderworld! Shoes? Check. A scowl that can only mean the barista got her Starbucks order wrong again? Check. And when she steps away from the shadows, we hit the bonus round.

She's tall and her crown is pure platinum blonde. But like every white woman, she's hard to read but fortunately, Bright Eyes can so they check their text on Whatsapp (boomer apps gave them the hives) for any goddesses that are supposed to be on shift tonight.

Actually, let's go back a bit. Back to this morning when Sam accomplished the impossible and made Bright Eyes go 🕶️outside🌳.

"You know, I was counting down the days when you would finally kill me. I bet sometime this year. Vincent now owes me one of his Lambos. You think he'll be mad if I put some Barbie-friendly decals on it?"

"Bright, I don't mean now. I meant tonight at Wonderworld. Vamps in the Solaire Clan take turns patrolling the area."

Frederick pops into their head like an adorably fat mole. The Bright Eyes in their mind palace (it's actually more of a crack den but whatever) whack it with away because they know the unspoken reason why Sam approached them instead of his Progeny. And why he did so when Frederick was asleep.

But anyway, back to the present!

No hot white women were written in the text. Just a bunch of Vampires who form an anti-Bright Eyes committee™ as soon as they arrive. They ignore Bright for the most part which eventually leads the not-so-Newborn-anymore to the farthest end of Wonderworld where a babe is just chilling beside the vegetation-conquered carousel. Score one for the plants.

And the first thing that escapes from Bright's mouth is, "Good evening. May I inquire if you're a quirked up white woman that can bust it down sexual style so that I can get lost in the sauce?"

The scowl vanishes instantly. Like a father who went out to buy milk.

"Excuse me?"

Giddiness blooms like a weed (you know which ones) in Bright Eyes. She even has a Karen-patent tone! Could this night get any better -

Nevermind. Please wait for Bright's brain to reboot as an impressive set of badonkas-donkas is thrust in their face.

"Are you one of Sam's Progeny?" She didn't ask so much as demands. Like Bright and the world owes her something, everything. They wondered if they started panting because that's seriously hawt.

"I'm what you call a bastard of the magical kind meets with death via Vampiric jumpscare. And that's not a sentence I thought was possible."

Bright has to give blondie some credit; she takes their nonsensical answer in stride and with an eyebrow raised.

"I'll take that as a yes. You fit the rumours at least."

"You heard of me but I don't know who you are. You're hot but... sus. Do I need to eject you?"

"No surprise there. I bet Sammy did everything he could to hide you from me. He thinks he's protecting you, but all he did was made me curious."

"Aww shit, did the clapping of my ass cheeks give me away?"

"...Are you fucking high?"

"Probably. I had a shot of vodka with my honey milk boba tea with extra pudding and 100% sugar before I left. Fuck coffee when you can just meet god, amirite?"

The woman closes her pretty gold-ruby eyes. She exhaled and Bright could literally hear her mentally counting down.

"You're unlike any creature that I ever have the misfortune to come across."

"Uh, correction: you found me. And I still don't know if you're a quirked up white woman that can - "

"Enough. I get it. Are you usually like this when it comes to women?"

"Hey, I thought I would be holding in my rizz 'till the heat death of the universe! So who are you o' beautiful sour cream?"

"Careful, I can't tell whether that's an insult or a compliment."

"Sounds like a you problem, chief."

Apparently, magic does exist because despite the non-stop verbal trainwreck that's coming out of Bright's mouth, the woman's lips nearly twitch a smile.

"You're ballsy and stupid. I like that. The name's Alexis. A pleasure for you to meet."

Yes! Bright made it to Phase 2, bitch!

"They call me Bright Eyes, my IQ is the highest among the Redditors on the 'Am I The Asshole' subpage - "

"That isn't saying much."

" - And welcome to the ruins of Vincent's hopes and dreams."

Now that made Alexis burst out a gut. Seriously, she's clutching her stomach with tears in her eyes. It boosts Bright's confidence as a future stand-up comedian. Their 'flirting?' went well but Bright didn't sense the spark of interest within the older Vampire. Boo.

"Right. I've decided to kidnap you now. How accurately can you predict your... Grandmaker's reaction?"

"As accurate as my opinion on the Internet."

"Wonderful. I hope you like shopping and breaking the fabric of time and space on the highway."

And that, readers, is how Bright Eyes won against Alexis Getty-Solaire without getting Miyazaki'd.