#i only know two taylor swift songs that one and the one with the goat

[thirstyvampyr]

oh that just made my heart swell im so proud of him 😭😭😭😭

[b0nes-mcgee]

It’s time for music headcanons with the batfam, bc if I don’t get this out of my head and onto page, I’m going to implode.

Fave first, Dick is definitely a indie pop/indie rock kinda boy. Not just because I identify with that, but also bc he gives me those overly energetic, bubbly vibes, that I feel like only come from Grouplove, Vampire Weekend, and Adam Melchor. I also feel like he’s a Mitski and Boygenius kinda bitch, bc ough, boY, he has angst. Said angst can only be expressed through sad girl music, bc he will die before he ever expresses his feelings about anything to anyone.

NEXT we have Jason, I think he’s an emo ass boy, ngl, but specifically like folk punk. He listened to twin sized mattress one time, broke down crying, and hasn’t looked back. Also things like The Mountain Goats, PUP, or Modern Baseball. Ugh, I could make a whole ass playlist for this boy. If he’s with other ppl, I think he’d play something more mainstream of the emo genres, like Arctic Monkeys or The Strokes.

DAMIAN, I THINK, IS COMPLICATED. So, for one thing, he grew up in a weirdo environment, where they probably never listened to music, and if they did, it was “”tasteful”” music, for rich ppl. That, or it was culturally significant. So, I think I’m his exposure to music after moving in with Bruce, he started just absorbing absolutely all the music he could. Like, he’s an everything enjoyer. His spotify liked songs are a minefield, bc one second it’ll be playing Chet Baker, next it’s Viagra Boys, then some country shit, then Chopin, and then it’s Lil Nas X.

BABS, I think, would be a folk music/sad girl music enthusiast. She really likes Ryan Adams, Phoebe Bridgers, Hoizer, Mitski, etc. It’s something that she and Dick bonded over when they first started dating. I think with her, she appreciates the calm/slightly sad music bc she lives in a rlly crazy world, and she just wants to meditate a little when she’s sitting at that desk all day, trying to keep her family and friends alive.

Timmyyyyyy is a Kpop enjoyer. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. Specifically, he probably likes SEVENTEEN or ATEEZ a lot. He actively tries, every day of his life, to not stan any of the members, but it’s rlly hard when he’s had two hours of sleep in the past week, and Yoon was just really cute in that last interview. I also think he’s really into trap and pop. He knows all the lyrics to every recent song on the top 100 list.

Duke, I think is really into R&B. I think he’s amenable to pop/rock/rap, etc., but he really just wants something to belt out. Common occurrences are finding him in the kitchen, making an omelette, singing Amy Winehouse at the top of his lungs. If u catch him doing it tho, he gets rlly shy. His guilty pleasure is theatre music. He has to bribe his family to go see Little Shop of Horrors with him.

Stephanie has a 2000s-2010s pop addiction. Anything that makes her feel like Hannah Montana is her SHIT. She’s out here blasting Bubblegum Bitch and early Taylor Swift. You also can and will find her crying to sad One Direction songs. When she’s moody, she will unironically play My Chemical Romance. She understands pop punk a lil bit, but the lyrics tend to get male-manipulator-y, so she sticks with the bands she already knows.

Alfred likes 50s/60s jazz/pop. Frank Sinatra, Chet Baker, etc. It reminds him of home, and of his family. He also really likes old French music, like Joe Dassin. I’m ngl, I don’t know old music enough to add more to this one, but u get the idea 😭

BRUCE. Ugh. He’s definitely the kind of dad who never moved past the music of his childhood. He firmly believes that the Beatles is the best band of all time, and no one can convince him otherwise. I think he tends to gravitate towards the rock/goth end of 70s/80s music, so things like the Cure, New Order, maybe a lil bit of Siouxsie and the Banshees. His goth phase was INTENSE, Alfred can attest to this.

Edit: HOLY SHIT I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT CASS 😭😭😭

Ok, Cass is defo a similar situation to Damian, grew up with literally silence, so music is a super new thing to her. But I think she really enjoys all kinds of genres. I think that especially instrumentals get her, bc it’s just noises that she can focus on, no lyrics to distract her from the sound. I think she also likes to “sing” along to said instrumentals, but mostly it’s just making noises to the same beat and sound, but it’s very off-key.

[khalewren]

Sonic character music HCs

 I’ve been obsessed with both the Sonic the hedgehog series and Music in general for over a year now, so i figured i could combine those interests in a fun way. I’m gonna describe what kind of music i personally think the characters would like/listen to. And just so you know, this is just my thoughts on it, i’m not saying im right or anything. And while i am trying to match these genuinely, it’s also not something i’m taking fully seriously. I’m just doin this for fun :)

I also suggest looking up some of the terms/artists/genres i use here if you’re not already familiar with them! Might help you understand my reasoning a bit more, and who knows, you might even find a new favourite artist 👀

Oh, and one more thing. While i am of course going to go off of music i’m familiar with, i’ll try to avoid assigning characters music that i like just because its music that i like. That being said, i will of course, be just a tad bit biased. Anyways, time to start with the blue boy himself!!

Sonic

Sonic is somewhat easy. Seeing as how his main thing is standing up against tyranny, i imagine he’d definitely be a fan of punk. At first i thought of pop punk specifically, due to its high energy, but i feel like Sonic would find it a bit too commercial. Same thing with skate punk. I feel like anarcho-punk could be a little more up his alley? Maybe something like chumbawumba.

Oh, and personal bias time: I think he would like King gizzard and the Lizard wizard due to the themes of enviromentalism.

Example of Sonic’s music taste

Tails

Now, i’m completely split between two different paths here. The first option is EDM. Just overall music that sounds electronic, maybe dance, i dunno. The second option however, is one that i personally prefer: Just like, music with weirdass time signatures and polyrhythms n shit. Math rock, Prog, that kinda stuff. Specific bands i’m thinking about is Tool, King crimson, Black midi, maybe even KGLW (again, personal bias). Tails would think music theory is fucking dope and would be OBSESSED with this kinda music lmao.

Example of Tails’ music taste

Knuckles

Now, this is the rare instance that i feel justified in being biased, because his level themes in sa2 make me believe that knuckles is a hiphop head. Specifically, instrumental hip hop. I think he’d be a big fan of J Dilla’s style of hip hop production in general, with the soft fuzzy feel of songs like The light. Otherwise i feel like he likes some boom bap, like Illmatic.

Example of Knuckles’ music taste

Amy

I honestly feel like Amy is the kinda person who enjoys like, any type of music? Like this gal will listen to some chill folk music and then go directly to hardcore industrial rock lmao. I think her favourite genre is pop though. First artist that pops into mind is Carly rae jepsen, not only because she makes great pop music, but also since her songs are often about love, which i feel fits Amy pretty well. She’d probably like something more off-kilter like art pop too. She LOVES Björk, i feel confident in saying that.

Example of Amy’s music taste

Shadow

I’ve noticed that this one is quite varied (and if you’re curious, i don’t really mind the whole taylor swift thing, but i also don’t really care for it either), but i want to bring up a genre that i haven’t seen anyone else suggest Shadow being a fan of: Shoegaze. I think he would find the whole noisy, dreamlike, nearly overwhelming feeling of shoegaze calming. I don’t know, there’s just something about Shoegaze that makes me feel like it fits shadow perfectly. Only bands i really know are Slowdive and My bloody valentine, but i still feel confident in my opinion.

I also feel like the idea of him enjoying indie folk (something like the mountain goats) but would not be caught DEAD listening to it is really funny. The day that rouge finds out will not be a happy day for anyone in a ten mile radius.

Example of Shadow’s music taste

Rouge

Now, there’s a very easy answer here. Jazz. But i feel like rouge would also enjoy stuff like Soul and funk. She’d also check out music Shadow listens to, both to annoy him and out of genuine interest. Not much else i have to say here tbh.

Example of Rouge’s music taste

Omega

Harsh noise.

Silver

Similarly to Amy, i think Silver enjoys practically anything and everything, and is also super open to trying new stuff. If he has a preference though, i think he enjoys dance music? Or just electronic stuff in general. Daft punk comes to mind, specifically Discovery.

Example of Silver’s music taste

Blaze

I feel like Blaze is someone who simply hasn’t been able to listen to a lot of music yet? Her friends (particularly Silver and Amy) have given her a bunch of recommendations, and while she doesn’t have a preference yet, she has enjoyed some of the stuff that they have played.

Vector

On the complete contrary to Blaze, Vector is a supreme Music nerd. You name an artist or album, he is at the very least aware of them. He’s the kinda guy who will talk about some super obscure folk album from the 70′s and refer to it as if its some kind of holy grail. It’s great. He would have a vinyl collection, but due to the chaotix’s financial situation, he settles for CDs instead. Again, he enjoys practically anything, but i feel like his favourite genre is progrock. He also remixes music for fun.

And thats it!! I’ll try to think of more that i can add in a reblog, but for now, this is all that i can think of. Again, this is just my opinion, but i’d love to hear some of yalls thoughts!! why you think im correct or wrong or however!!

[penroseparticle]

1, 2?

Unironically I knew you would ask me the two best questions on this whole damn list, thank you Izzy for being the GOAT.

Song of the year? God what songs even came out this year. I don't think this year was a year where new music happened for me. (One of the biggest hits this year was... Fast Car. Do you remember that??? What???) I'm a little tempted to say Fast Car, but that's cheating on Ms. Tracy Chapman, who is unimpeachably the best version of the song (And wouldn't it kind of suck if the song of the year was just. An inarguably well done but ultimately less meaningful rendition of a song from like 45 years ago) If I can pick songs that I encountered this year but didn't come out this year, I could go on for a while. Lonely by Jamila Woods, All My Girls Like To Fight by Hope Tala, Get Down by Woozy. I think Van Gogh by Mette is great but not the song of the year for me, certainly. Rush by Troye Sivvy? It's more honest but doesn't feel right to me totally. Is It New Years Yet has new toy syndrome, AND it's a holiday song, AND it's a Sabrina Carpenter song that complains about overplayed music. Like. Self aware much? And also means it can kick rocks because that is NOT song of the year material. But I like music with a groovy influence, I'm a little corny, and I can't lie about this kinda thing. I categorically refuse to put Build a Boat on my top anything list, regardless of Spotify telling lies about my listening habits. (This is me lying about this kinda thing). I don't want to repeat a year in review song, either, which kinda makes this harder. I guess I gotta give it to You Wish by Flyana Boss, because it's the only song that's not 1. on my year end list, or 2. a song that had a reservation/caveat/well, actually attached to it.

Album of the year? My two top albums of this year were Something To Give Each Other and Jaguar II, but I have to give it up to Victoria Monet honestly- I didn't take to a piece of music this fast since when I saw Young Empires open for Reptar and fell in love on the first song of the set. I listened to Smoke and I was hooked- maybe it's the drug culture references but joyful and openly honest, maybe it's the slick production and variety on the album, maybe it's that it's not afraid to be goofy as hell ("I'm so deep in my bag, like a grandma with a peppermint" is quite possibly an all timer goofy lyric that still hits the right timber for the braggadocio it's placed as in the song, "It's a bisexual blunt it can go both ways" is just. so fuckin stupid, I love it.), maybe it's the features (Lucky Daye? EARTH WIND AND FIRE???), maybe it's the touch of old hollywood glamour at the end and the clear love of motown sensibilities juxtaposed with her talking about her 4K titties. I don't know man, it just rewired my brain but in a good way. More than that, Victoria made me cognizant of her in the stuff I already liked. Like. She has writing credits/backing vocal credits for Ariana Grande. I CAN HEAR HER IN THE SONGS SHE HELPED WRITE. She's goofy and sexy and has some fun production preferences, and I can hear her sometimes now even when she's composing/producing for other artist. I haven't been able to peg a pop writer this hard since good ol' jackie, and that's because he's everywhere and also in like 3 solo projects and also Taylor Swift's silver bullet. But like I can directly point to how much she worked on Thank You Next and the all time greatest Ariana album, Dangerous Woman. She helped write Body Count, Sin City, On The Way... all songs I liked by other artists, but didn't realize who, you know, helped make. This is not to say I didn't love Troye Sivan this year- and both these artists made my year end retrospective. I really dig Troye's album (Though I run into the issue I have with a lot of albums where I like but don't love the second half of it, which is why Victoria took the W.). Give the songs In My Room or What's The Time Where You Are a listen for sure. It's just. so hard to find an album you unironically vibed with. Unashamedly and openly. I honestly don't care if anyone else likes this album, because I loved it. I'll stream it enough for all of us, a bitch might buy it on vinyl Anyways sorry for running on so long, it's Jaguar II by Victoria Monet, because if we have to say Goodbye, let's make it a Good Bye is something I want to live by now that I've heard it.

[marquisoforder]

Ranking the Nine Princes of Hell from TSC from the least to most sexy

(Technically 8 cause Lucifer is just a chair but eh)

8) Coming in at dead last we have Asmodeus cause I hate this generic white man energy he’s giving here. He’s the demon of Lust cause the only way he could get bitches was by tricking and manipulating them. He’s serving Frankenstein’s Monster had a baby with a CEO from a yaoi hentai realness here. The Worst of the Demons? More like the Worst Dressed of the demons! Black tie with a white suite? 🤮Sir are you out of your goddamn mind? Did Raphael bonk you on the head until your fashion sense left? -1/10 you are simply hideous sir

7) Coming in at number 7 we have Mammon looking like Jeff Bezos’s capitalistic wet dream. How are you literally all about money but still look tacky as hell? This man shows up to the MET Gala in a tux with no effort whatsoever I can just feel it in my bones. All these eyes but you still couldn’t locate a better fit. I was gonna ask why he looks constipated but then I read the part where he eats blood and gold for every meal so he’s obviously suffering from indigestion. (And it shows king, it really shows) 0/10 - Do fucking better and get a plastic surgery or a proper diet with all the money you are hoarding up

6) At number six we’ve got Belphegor. Honestly I’d have ranked him much higher if it wasn’t for the goat skull situation going on there like what’s up with that king? Is this a political statement? Or are you just taking covid precautions? Either way I can’t rank you higher than six with that face. (Even tho the body is definitely 1. Like you mean to tell me a demon with abs like those is the demon of laziness? He ain’t lazy if he’s grinding in the gym which he apparently is cause he’s legit shredded.) also kinda cute that you were married to a mortal. Maybe if they pegged you you wouldn’t have denounced the institution of marriage. (Try it next time. I’m certainly up if you are 👀 haha jk unless 😳) 5/10 - Sorry about your goat head

5) On the position of number five we have the one and only Leviathan! He’s not a fallen angel! He’s not like other girls! He���s edgy, he’s sensitive, he’s sad, nobody understands him. He kins Ebony Dementia Darkness Raven Way. But in a sexy way. I like what you’ve done with the hair. Paired with completely black eyes he’s essentially the perfect Scene Boy™️ from back in the day. He would have been Tumblr famous. Even now he has the capacity to become one of Tumblr’s sexy man (derogatory) cause he has the same vibe as Jotun Loki. 6/10 - No Comments cause I’m worried he might actually just eat me.

4) Belial is number four cause while he’s definitely good looking there’s something about him that screams I’d Mansplain Your Own Period To You. Probably invested in Bitcoin and trying to overheat the planet to death. Not gonna lie whatever he’s doing with his hands is actually giving model, it’s giving Timothy chalamet, it’s giving white boy who paints nails and wears rings and doesn’t shut up about it. The hair is actually really cool and I wish my hair looked that effortlessly good. Whatever hair products you stole from Brad Mondo, I want some rn 😤 6.5/10 - idk still kinda basic tho

3) Moving on to the top three we have Azazel! I liked him when we saw him in TMI. He’s giving fuck boy archie andrews here. Probably says baby girl unironically. Are his pants sagging or are they two toned? That’s a secret he’ll never tell. The reason he was cast down from hell is actually because god was jealous of that one lock of hair that falls perfectly across his forehead. His nails are done, his hair is perfect, his abs look rock hard. All in all has that all-American rugged good looks to him. 7/10- red hair actually looks good on you king keep it up

2) Our runner up is none other than Astaroth! Look at that serve! Look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn’t belong on the cover of a cheap erotica novel about fallen angels!!! The glance downwards, the wings bared, the contrast of the red cloth with the black wings!! He did not come to play because for Astaroth, the world is a runaway and he’s a model. The luscious hair and the sexy torso scars truly sets this man apart. I’m not big on selling my soul but for you king, I’d fr put that shit on eBay for 50 cents. You think you were misjudged and pleads your case? Lemme be your defense attorney king, I’ll fight God in a Denny’s parking lot for you no questions asked. 9/10 - Unlike Belphegor I still believe in the institution of marriage so ahahaha 👀😌 iykwim

1) And finally our top boy from Hell is… none other than Samael himself! That cute lil feather on the hat paired with that Jack sparrow red scarf really shows he knows how to work a fit. The rolled up sleeves got me 👀 at his forearms like I’m a Victorian man seeing a bit of ankle. This demon legit looks like a man young Taylor Swift would write a song about. He’s young, he’s hip, he probably has a fashion tiktok and does mad transitions from outfit to outfit. 10/10 wouldn’t do this man’s sexiness justice cause he’s simply too sexy for such a trivial scale.

[the-lincyclopedia]

Songs Ronan Lynch wouldn’t like (but that remind me of him anyway)

The brainrot is due to @fanartshmanart​, so I guess this is get-well present part three? (Parts one and two were moodboards.) You’ve got me thinking about Ronan Lynch and Taylor Swift at the same time, so . . . this happened. 

Songs Ronan Lynch wouldn’t like (but that remind me of him anyway)

“The Best Day,” by Taylor Swift: It’s a song about loving your parents in an uncomplicated way, and despite Ronan’s bad-boy thing, his feelings about his parents are pretty simple.

“Great Central Way,” by Grace Petrie: This is a song both about growing up too fast and about feeling intensely connected to your home. Ronan’s got both.

“Illicit Affairs,” by Taylor Swift: “You taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else” has always struck me as a Pynch vibe, and Taylor’s wistful songs about cheating always feel queerer to me than her other stuff (not that I think she’s queer--I’m just talking vibes of the songs).

“Ivy,” by Taylor Swift: This song has such a strong and ethereal sense of place, and, again, it’s a wistful Taylor Swift song about cheating, so.

“Long Live,” by Taylor Swift: This song is a fairytale about becoming royalty and being a teenager, which I’m pretty sure are also themes of the Raven Cycle.

“90 Days,” by Pink: Look. It’s a song about fast cars, okay?

“Somewhere Only We Know,” by Keane: I mean, Cabeswater is literally somewhere only a few people know about.

“All Alright,” by fun.: This is a song for when stakes are high and things might be a little dire, but at least you’ve got someone in your corner.

“Firebird,” by Owl City: This is a song about boys being friends, and about growing up, and a little bit about cars, too. 

“Daniel in the Den,” by Bastille: I don’t know what this song is REALLY about, but on the surface it’s about dreams and kings, which are definitely big motifs in the Raven Cycle. 

“Quarter past midnight,” by Bastille: Look, another song about driving fast. 

“Dreams,” by the Cranberries: Honestly, this is on here largely for the title, but you could make the argument it’s a Pynch song.

Bonus points--songs for other characters: 

“Up the Wolves,” by the Mountain Goats, for Declan: It’s kind of a song about hating your parents, and it’s kind of a song about missing your mother, and it’s kind of a song about moving on while still being so damn angry. 

“Brave Face,” by Frank Turner, for Gansey: “Make me a promise that when the world ends, you’ll kiss me and you’ll hold my hand” is, like, PEAK Bluesey. 

“Treacherous,” by Taylor Swift, for Blue: “Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don’t touch,” “Your name has echoed through my mind”!!!!!

“Under Pressure,” by Queen and David Bowie, for Adam: I cheated and googled other people’s picks of songs for Adam, but I have to admit this one is pretty perfect.

[phoebe-delia]

Hello, Phoebe. I’m back :)

How are you doing? Just put whatever you feel like here! This ask is the Phoebe Show; make it yours!

Lyssa, it is always a pleasure to see you in my notifs, but especially in my ask box! Thank you for filling it with kind words, awesome prompts, and fun questions for me to play around with.

This blog is the closest I imagine I'll ever come to having the Phoebe Delia Show, and since you have given me free rein with this ask, I shall endeavor to make it count.

I've gotten some incredible asks about my interests, but I'm going to answer a question that has been asked by exactly no one and rank Taylor Swift's albums.

This will be in order of my favorites; this isn't necessarily a reflection of what I think the rank would be in terms of objective quality; instead, this is based on my own personal enjoyment of the albums.

As always, I will provide a little explanation as to my reasoning, because I am nothing if not indulgent.

I actually really surprised myself with this ranking; as I looked through the albums I evaluated each by counting the number of songs I liked off of each one, and the ranking I thought I had has now changed. (I will explain in my comments!).

So! With that said. The Phoebe Delia Show Presents: Ranking Taylor Swift Albums.

1. Speak Now--To me, there is only one skip on this entire album; it is bop after bop. (If you're wondering, I think "Innocent" is the skip). Every song is just fun! I should also point out that this is also my favorite in part because Taylor said it was inspired by theater/Broadway.

2. 1989--I'm gonna be honest and say that I'm ashamed to have sort of slept on this album for so long. Don't get me wrong--I listened to and enjoyed it a lot when it came out, but I always sort of automatically pushed it further down on my list in favor of my 3rd choice because I liked the songs on my 3rd choice more. But now that I'm older and my music taste has somewhat evolved, I think I can say that 1989 is my 2nd favorite. There are truly no skips on this album. Yes, I know I said SN has a skip, but that album holds a special place in my heart so it gets number 1. I was thinking it over today, and while Taylor has always been amazing, I think this is the album that launched her into superstardom. We, her fans, knew she could do anything, but she still shocked us all by making the transition to an entirely pop album. Remember the "Blank Space" and "Bad Blood" music videos? I still think those are two fo my favorite of her mvs, though LWYMMD is a close second.

3. Red--Oh, my beloved. This album is wonderful. I have a lot of memories associated with this one, particularly watching the WANGBT music video and the IKYWT parody with the fucking goat that makes me laugh so hard even to this day. I am SO pumped for TV in November!! And while, yes, "All Too Well" is my favorite song on the album (and my fave TS song overall), "Holy Ground" is slept on and amazing.

4. folklore--This album is probably the most meaningful to me of them all just because of when it came out. We as an entire global community were struggling, and I know I had immense privilege to have been healthy and safe during that time. Still, like everyone else, I was depressed, lonely, and felt trapped inside my home and inside my mind. I will never forget listening to this album in my room and gasping when I heard TIMT. Not long after this album came out, I also lost my family dog, and this album was essential in helping me grieve. This album saved my sanity and gave me a cathartic outlet. I will be forever grateful to Taylor for writing it.

5. Reputation--This is another one for which I have a lot of memories. I will never forget when the LWYMMD music video came out and the world lost its entire mind. Taylor said there are still easter eggs we missed and I want someone to find them please and thank you. There are a few songs on this album that I'm not obsessed with, but the storytelling is so cohesive and creative. On the surface, one might think Taylor was being petty or whiny, but if you look closer--and remember the utter hell she was going through at the time--I think there are deeper meanings than her just getting back at Kim and Kanye.

6. Fearless--Oh, this album. It has some of her most iconic songs: YBWM, "White Horse," "Love Story"," "Forever and Always," etc. I truly wish I could tie this one with Rep, but I think Rep edges this one out *just* barely with songwriting/lyrical quality. I also don't know if I'll ever fully get over the fact that she kept "Mr. Perfectly Fine" from us for so long, but I suppose I can consider the 10 min "All Too Well" on Red TV to be proper repayment. ;)

7. evermore--I could not believe my eyes when she announced this album. How can this woman write this fast and this well!! I will never forget listening to "champagne problems," "no body, no crime," and "tolerate it" in particular. I ranked this after reputation just bc I think I enjoy listening to Rep more, but some of the songwriting on this album is *chefs kiss.*

8. Lover--I know, I know, I'm sorry. I don't want to put this one so low on the list but I just kind of can't put it any higher? I really love some of the songs on this album, but SYGB is too sad for me, "London Boy" kinda annoys me I'm sorry, and I just never really got into INTHAF or "Afterglow." But, that said, every other song on the album is a bop, even ME!, although I listen to the live version over the studio recording. It's a great album though.

9. Taylor Swift (Debut album)--I feel a little bad ranking this so low but I cannot honestly tell you that this album is better than her others, and something has to be last on the list. There are also some great, classic songs on this album. So, instead of being critical, I'm instead going to say that I remember vividly seeing a snippet of "Teardrops On My Guitar" advertised on Disney Channel for Radio Disney. It makes me smile to think of how far she's come since then.

And that concludes this episode of The Phoebe Delia Show! Tune in next time where I post some other self-indulgent opinion about one of my interests and hope it reaches people who care to read it :)

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

[ash-writies]

Maybe something inspired by the song 'Ours' by Taylor Swift? (Female reader) Korra or Bolin, you pick!

Today is ‘Ours’

Inspired by Taylor Swift’s song Ours

A/n: Hey sorry for posting this so late, airplanes, hotels, sick baby goats, ya know :/ Anyway ever since I started writing this the song has been stuck in my head so Thanks Anon,,, anyway I hope you enjoy <3 (I actually really like Taylor’s old songs and I used to listen to this song religiously so thanks for reminding me of its existence ;) )

2k words, paring: Bolin lok x f!reader

A little angst near the end :-|

Getting up was one of the worst parts of your day. Of course you could overlook that just for today. Seeing how today Bolin’s new NukTuk mover was going to premiere tonight. Every little thing was exciting to you. Elevators, buttons and morning air, everything had a distinct smell, whether it was rust or vintage you almost smiled as you pressed the button to call the elevator. A couple people were already on before the doors opened. As soon as they looked at you they snickered and fell silent.

“Man,” you thought, “stranger’s silence makes me wanna take the stairs.” Relief washed over you as the doors opened. Leaving the building, you pushed the thoughts back, you weren't going to let that bring this great day down.

Walking to the boutique you smiled, you were going to get a green and black dress to match his suit. Ah you couldn’t wait to get a picture of you two together. You wished he could’ve been there to give his opinion but he had some last minute things to do. As you ringed the dress up, you noticed the cashier only half paying attention as they knocked over their cup of coffee.

You stifle a laugh and think, “If you were here we’d laugh about their vacant stares.” The person quickly cleaned up that mess.

“Are you okay?” you say as you pick your dress up off the counter.

“Y-yeah everything’s okay!” they chuckled awkwardly, throwing away the wet napkins from the mess.

“Okay, have a nice day,” you waved as you stepped out of the door. A cool wind hit you, it felt nice in contrast to the hot summer sun. Next you had to go to the salon to style your hair. As you went into the hair salon you sat in the seat and waited. To your left there were two girls, a bit younger than you, were giggling behind a couple magazines. You didn’t pay much attention to them and thought about Bolin for a little bit before you decide to text him and ask what he’s doing.

“There’s just a couple more photo shoots I gotta do” he wrote, “I don't think I’ll have time to meet up before the premiere, sorry :(“

“It’s okay-” you began before two voices interrupted you. You quickly hit send before looking over.

“Hey!” one of the girls said tapping you on your shoulder, “you’re the girl dating NukTuk Right?”

“Wow,” you thought, keeping your face as blank as possible, “right now, my time is theirs.” Almost every time you left the apartment that’s all people would recognize you for.

“Eyup! That’s me” you smiled , trying to be as nice as possible.

“I think he’d be better with Ginger!” the other girl added.

“Wow,” you accidentally said out loud.

“She’s so much better looking than you,” she laughed, “And she’s famous too!”

“Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves! They’ll judge it like they know about me and you...” your voice echoed through your head.

“Stephannie!” the original girl elbowed her friend. “I’m sorry.” She pulled her friend out of the store with the person who just finished their haircut.

As you sat down in the chair the hairdresser chimed in. “Maybe you shouldn’t be with him,” she sprayed your hair and combed through it, “it seems that the thought of him stresses you out is all.”

“The verdict comes from those with nothing else to do... The jury’s out,” her voice interrupted the rest of your thoughts.

“What kind of style do you want?”

.

.

.

The rest of the styling went fine and no more of your personal life was brought up. After that you went to your apartment to get ready. You carefully pulled the dress over your head, careful not to mess up your makeup or hair. Thinking about the whole day up ‘til now, you thought, “None of that matters, my choice is you.” you smiled after you thought that, savoring your feelings for him. You quickly press your hand to your face and chuckle. Of course you would think something so cheesy.

Once you were done you went downstairs and waved for a taxi so you could go to the premiere early. The drive was short and you could’ve walked but you didn’t want to be sweaty when you saw Bolin for the first time today. As you pulled up to your destination you made sure your hair was in place and grabbed all of your belongings. Stepping out of the Sato-mobile you brushed a loose strand of hair out of your face, suddenly you hear a whistle. Your head snaps up in the direction the whistle came from. Bolin stood a few feet in front of you with his hand extended. A blush spread on your cheeks as you took his hand in yours.

“I hope you didn’t miss me too much,” He said as he pulled you into a hug.

Laughing, you hug him back, “I totally did.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and smiled. You both headed into the building and walked to the balcony where you two were going to sit.

“I think you're really gonna like this one!” he started as you both sat down, “It’s a romance but it mainly focuses on the hero saving the day.” You were hit with a tinge of jealousy as he said that, just how close would they be with Bolin in the mover? You smiled over it as he continued to explain. “Nuk Tuk goes through a lot of lovers before he settles on one,” he finished explaining as the lights dimmed and a hush fell over everyone.

.

.

.

.

The mover starts at the south pole where the villain first attacked. The first woman Nuk Tuk “fell in love” with was a passive waterbender who only used him for clout. At the time he wasn’t aware because, plot, it took like fifteen “mover” minutes for him to see through her facade.

When he did you smiled and turned to Bolin, “I totally knew she was using him.”

He whispered back frowning, “How? I thought I sold this one pretty well.”

“She was acting sus, and it's good to be skeptical of characters, I mean, you never know what people have up their sleeves.” He smiled at how easily you read that character.

The show carried on and Nuk Tuk found himself in the earth kingdom. He was chasing a rather quick villain who always somehow evaded him at the last second. No matter how much water he threw at the person they ducked and weaved out of the way. A woman comes out of nowhere and puts herself right in the middle of danger.

“Oh no!” you gasp genuinely; and as you do Boling smiles to himself. He loves how you are actually interested in the movers he’s in.

Nuk Tuk goes out of his way to save the woman, injuring himself in the process. He passes out and the screen fades to black. When he wakes up the woman is leaning over him trying to help him. It is revealed that the woman is a non-bender but is very good at medicine. For thirty-ish minutes Nuk Tuk is confused at how familiar the woman is. He spends the time it takes to get better flirting with her and trying to learn more about her. When he gets better he leaves the woman without ever figuring out why she was familiar and starts going after the main villain.

He arrives in a place similar to Republic City and meets a firebender girl who starts attacking him. Like cliche enemies to lovers they stop bending at each other when Nuk Tuk pins her down. After that spicy exchange Nuk Tuk gets the information he needs and they go their separate ways. The camera is on her and she has a shadow covering half of her smirking face as the screen fades to black.

“What is she going to do?” You ask, startling Bolin.

“You’ll have to find out,” he mutters, smiling at you.

“Look at her though, lurking in the shadows with her lip gloss smile.” He laughed at the way you pouted at the end of that sentence.

Like you predicted she betrays him after multiple romantic encounters. She reveals herself as the daughter of the villain.

He meets another girl, This one is an earthbender who has almost no visible interest in him. She joins him and fights against the firebender in the final battle. The earth bender pins the other onto a wall to stop her from bending and rushes to help a struggling Nuk Tuk.

Even though it seemed like the mover was coming to an end Bolin laid his head in your lap.

“Isn’t it going to end soon?” you asked, “Are you tired?”

“Yeah, but there’s like thirty minutes left so I can chill for a bit.” His eyes closed and your fingers ran through his hair as your eyes flickered back to the screen.

You missed a little so when you looked up you saw the earthbender girl laying on the floor and Nuk Tuk hovering over her. When he attacked the villain he didn’t hold back, and with that attitude the villain was defeated quickly. He rushed back to the girl and healed her with her waterbending. He was surprised it worked because he had never healed someone before. When the girl came to, Nuk Tuk pulled her into a hug.

The mover ended what felt like centuries after that.

You tapped Bolin awake, “Hey, let’s get out of here.” He groaned, reluctant to leave the comfortable position he was in. When he sat up you fixed his hair and smoothed the front of his suit. Hand in hand you both walked out and down to the main hall. You both were swarmed by the paparazzi, Bolin tried to shield you from it as much as possible as you both headed to the Satomobile waiting for you.

A reporter stepped in front of you and asked, “So Bolin, who are you dating at the moment?” You both paused, a bit confused at the question before she continued, “It can’t be this raggedy girl by your side is it?” You were silent, shocked, who was she to ask you that question? You took off towards the Satomobile. Once you got to it you looked back at Bolin who said something to the woman and rushed over to you.

The whole car ride you both were silent. Your mind was flooded with thoughts of self-worth, insecurities, and Bolin. Nothing was said as he walked up to your apartment and held the door open for you. Nothing was said as you kicked your shoes off and plopped down on the couch. Nothing was said as he took off the first layer of his suit, revealing his off white button up and brown suspenders. Nothing was said as he sat next to you on the couch, ruffled his hair, and leaned forward with his head in his hands.

He was the first to break the silence. “Hey,” he looked at you worried, “Are you okay?”

“No! I’m Not Okay!” you yelled, slamming your fists on the couch. “I’m sick and tired of being known as just your girlfriend! What about My achievements?” You stood up quickly, he was shocked at your outburst.

“Your more than just my girlfriend-” he began, but you cut him off.

“You can’t say that! I’m trying to understand, to be quiet, and to try to talk to your fans, but I can’t anymore!” You choked out those words and sobbed as he pulled you into a hug.

“All that matters is you,” he whispered, “forget those toxic fans, they could take all my fame and I wouldn’t care, ‘cause right now you’re mine.” You didn’t know how much needed those words until he said it. You hugged him tighter as he continued, “It’s not theirs to speculate if it’s wrong.”

Sniffling you looked up at him with watery eyes, “your right,” he grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers, “Your hands are tough but they are where mine belong. I’m sorry for lashing out at you.” He cupped your cheek with his hand and smiled,

“It’s okay, cause I’ll fight their doubt and give you faith,” He pressed a small kiss to your forehead. He clapped his hands suddenly. “Let’s be positive now,” he smiled, eagar to change the subject, “Let’s list things that we like about eachother!”

“Okay,” you smiled and didn’t even need to think, “I love the gap between your teeth.”

“I love the riddles that you speak,” he pinched your cheeks.

“And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored.”

“Why?” he chuckled.

“Cause my heart is yours.” you smiled at him.

“My heart is yours too,” he giggled as he hugged you and lifted you into the air. You both were emotionally and physically tired after that exchange.

“I’ll let you take a shower first,” he said smiling and bowing dramatically while holding the door open.

“Are you sure? If I take one first you’ll probably fall asleep before you take yours,” you started.

“It’s fine, I won't fall asleep I promise,” He said. Reluctantly you took your shower. You made it quick and he jumped in right after you were finished. While he was in the shower you made some instant noodles for dinner for both of you. It was still warm when he came out of the bathroom in a white tank top and some shorts.

You both laid in bed while you ate, once you were done you set the empty bowl on the nightstand and cuddled.

Before you fell asleep you heard him say, “Don’t you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine, but they can’t take what’s ours.” He pulled you closer as you rested your head on his chest.

“The stakes are high, the water’s rough, but this love is ours.”you finished as your eyes fluttered shut and Bolin pressed a kiss to your temple.

[punkbarbarian]

bad kids playlists breakdown

thanks for all the love on my bad kids playlists! at the request of people here’s some of my thought process behind each of the songs/artists on their playlists :)

these playlists are mostly made up of songs i think they would enjoy listening to, but there are also some that i personally associate with them :)

fig’s playlist needed to be mostly, if not all, female-fronted bands and artists bc she is 1000% a very active voice for supporting women in rock. paramore is personally one of my favorite bands of all time and their earlier stuff really strikes me as fig’s taste. mitski is an incredible artist and i KNOW fig would be obsessed with her. i threw a bunch of queen songs in there bc they’re incredible and i believe fig would take after their dramatics a lot in her own performance. chase petra is a small band from california that i found on tiktok and became obsessed with ever since. their music is incredible and is exactly what i think fig and the sig figs would sound like. taylor swift is on there bc she slaps and i refuse to accept that fig wouldn’t know every word to all of her songs, especially from her cheerleading songs.

similarly to fig, i wanted fabian to have primarily black artists on his playlist in honor of lou’s mantra of always playling black characters in dnd. fabian’s taste is a little outside of my own, so i took a lot of inspiration from my friends who were jocks in high school or otherwise reminded me of fabian. frank ocean was the first artist i knew i wanted on his playlist, bc his music just strikes me as so intrinsically fabian (also i have a hc that fabian is bi and would probably look up to frank ocean as a bi person). childish gambino is one of my favorite rap artists bc his songs are all very hype and this is definitely a hype playlist. i put harry styles on there bc fabian was definitely a directioner and then got obsessed with harry once he started putting out his own music. there are a few wildcards on this playlist (see the two sea shanties and musical theater songs) however fabian would listen to sea shanties all the time and is definitely a musical theater nerd. 

adaine’s playlist was super fun to make. i think when she was younger she probably didn’t get a chance to listen to music other than what her parents played (which i think was probably just classical or lots of piano music bc they’re ‘proper’) so i kept that in mind when choosing the songs. a lot of them have piano as the primary instrument bc i think even if she associated piano with her parents, she would find beauty in it as an instrument. as a departure from that, i put vivaldi’s four seasons on there because i can’t think of anything more properly ‘fuck you’ to her parents than listening to baroque music (i love baroque music, it slaps). i think adaine is a bit of an old soul in some ways, which is why i put some older songs on there (see: elton john, billy joel, the beatles, fleetwood mac). phoebe bridgers is one of those artists that makes me emotional when i listen to her bc of the weight in her lyrics, and i think adaine would seriously relate to some of her songs in a number of ways. florence + the machine is an artist whose music is completely ethereal to me, and that is the perfect vibe for adaine. monet issues by chase petra may seem out of place, but the lyrics are really what made me choose it for adaine’s playlist. it’s about letting go of your shitty family and choosing your own path and if that’s not adaine to a t i don’t know what is baby!

gorgug’s playlist is the most similar to my own music taste (as a former emo kid, i cannot escape). green day is usually a gateway for people to get into more hardcore/similar music that’s away from the mainstream so it was only fitting that i put them on there. nirvana is one of my favorite bands and i thought gorgug would love them both for their lyrics and dave grohl’s drumming. i stole some of the artists from my friend who’s in a punk band (descendents and misfits) but they still suit gorgug pretty well! i don’t know where the idea of gorgug listening to the mountain goats came from but i couldn’t agree with it more, so theyre on his playlist too! the vibe i was going for with gorgug’s playlist was chill rock mixed with some intense songs that could represent him going into a rage, and i think i managed that!

kristen’s playlist was the hardest to make, no contest. i wanted to capture her music taste from her helioic days and the music she would listen to as a queer teenager, which is why her playlist is absolutely a mess lmao. carrie underwood, bruce springsteen, and taylor swift are leftover from her childhood even though she still loves them (i can’t stand most country songs so there was a limited selection for me to be able to tolerate, i apologize country fans). i wanted a bunch of queer artists on here as well, so teagan and sara, frances forever, and girl and red were guaranteed. i don’t know why, but i think kristen would listen to 100 gecs and i think its hilarious so that’s why theyre on here as well. the last few hozier songs are mostly just what i associate with kristen (especially work song and foreigner’s god) so that’s why theyre on here. 

i love riz to death but there is nothing you can say to convince me that before he met the bad kids his music taste wasn’t god awful. i have a friend who almost exclusively listens to video game soundtracks and 8 bit songs (which aren’t bad, just not my own taste) and that’s where i got some inspiration for riz’s playlist from. the rest of the playlist was inspired from another friend of mine, who listens to soft rock AND video game soundtracks so that’s where the killers, cosmo sheldrake, and bastille came from. i put johnny cash on there with the idea that sklonda and pok probably liked him a lot and riz started to like him by association (and also as a way to remember his dad). the last few songs, like on kristen’s playlist, are songs that i personally think of as ‘riz songs.’ brave as a noun is definitely not something riz would necessarily listen to all the time, but i think its a really good representation of his character (or at least the one i think of him as having). there are also some orchestral pieces that i think adaine would have showed him! the planets is a personal favorite of mine so it was only natural to include it.

[chronotopes]

20. for Aivide!

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

great question! the answer is one of my favorite stupid character-building things about aivide.

"relaxing piano music and lofi teal beats, neither of which she finds relaxing but god damn it she's trying" is only a slight exaggeration, for real. aivide has a very limited sense of aesthetics, as i say above, and an active resistance to cultivating her own sense of taste or opinions. she likes nora's music well enough (for nora's music taste, think taylor swift, esp red/1989-type era, not so much the country stuff, and everyone influenced by that vibe of 'confessional female vocalist pop-adjacent singer/songwriter'). if given the chance she'd enjoy softer indie pop stuff like hit stars album the north, and she's only human so of course she'd feel a thing or two to a mitski or a julien baker or of course a mountain goats. (links above and below are all to songs that are specifically aivide songs, i'm aware my audience knows who mitski is.)

instead of ever being exposed to mitski or julien baker, though, she makes friends with sasara and, straight out of lofi beats, gets introduced to varying degrees of music that makes you throw your homework on the floor. and that's when she figures out why people "like music".

[fuckitup-in-style]

Introducing...Me!

Hi everyone! I thought it was about time I make up one of these little ‘Get to Know Me’ posts so that all you beautiful followers of mine can know what kind of mess you’re interacting with so, without further ado...

Name/Alias: My name is Lou, and it’s nice to meet you!

Pronouns: She/her.

Sexuality: Bisexual.

Nationality: Australian.

-

Zodiac sign: Pisces.

Celtic zodiac: Snake.

Chinese zodiac: Goat.

Hogwarts House: Slytherin.

Patronus: Basset Hound.

Divergent Faction: Candor.

Moral Alignment: True Neutral

Chess Piece: Knight.

Tarot Card: High Priestess.

Personality Type: INFP

-

FUN FACTS

I am the eldest of two sisters that drive me around the bend sometimes but I love them very much.

I am a Politics and International Relations major with electives ranging across Creative Writing, Psychology, Law and History.

I used to play the flute in my high school band...or at least, I held the flute in my high school band (The only performance I put any effort into was probably the Berk theme from How to Train Your Dragon because that song slapped) .

Aesthetic: pastel outfits, renaissance era, milkshakes, back hugs, blush, the moon, hot coco, maple syrup, breakfast, lip gloss, dusk, tattoos, fairies, love letters, , sea green, sculptures, mountains, cold weather, thunderstorms, bubble baths, nighttime, latte, lace, stargazing, messy room, boysenberry icecream, cinema, train rides, candles, strings, ancient, sweet, creation, freckles, gold, greek mythology, 80s, leather jackets.

-

Hobbies: I love to read, write, draw, sing and watch movies! If daydreaming was an acceptable hobby, I would jot that down as well!

Favourite Book: The Puzzle Ring by Kate Forsyth.

Favourite Movie: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Favourite Season: Winter.

Favourite Holiday: New Years Eve.

Favourite Colour: Depends on my mood but it usually deviates between red, purple, green, gold or silver.

Favourite Flower:  Frangipanis.

Favourite Scent: Vanilla. Or that Hello Kitty Body Spray.

Favourite Music Genre: I’m Switzerland when it comes to music, if the song resonates with me, than that it.

- However, saying that, I absolutely love anything Taylor Swift or Hozier.

---

Get To Know Me (Writer’s Edition)

[crewhonk]

Don’t Call Me Angel

AN: I meant for this to be sexy but then I thought about it more and now its..... sad. this also isn't edited so like, sorry about that 

Trigger Warnings: allusion to sexual assault (multiple occasions), PTSD, touch sensitivity, prostitution, exploitation of minorities for profit

Songs: “It’s Nice to Have a Friend”-- Taylor Swift / “Don’t Call Me Angel”-- Ariana Grande, Lana Del Rey, Miley Cyrus / “Work”-- Charlotte Day Wilson / “Bad Dreams-- Piano Version”- Faouzia

CURRENT SERIES

___________________________

You’d never expected your first mission for the Avengers would be such an intense one. The images on the screen in front of you sent a chill down your spine, and a fire rise in your heart. To say that what you were going to be headed into was a disgusting, immoral thing would be the biggest understatement in the world. 

The pictures both on the screen and in the file folder in front of you on the briefing table made your blood run too-cold and too-hot at the same time. It was a prostitution ring, but not one that you would usually imagine a prostitution ring to be. You’d gotten tips from those in the pictures which told you that the women and men in the pictures were anything from happy. 

Mutants of every shape, colour, size, gender, and sexuality were in front of you. Some, covered in fur— pupils shaped like a cats or a goats as they made eye contact with the camera and wore a devious smile of nothing but sharp teeth. The heady lights of the strip club they were paraded at was dark enough to hide the accounts of bruising and broken bones. There were shape shifters, and elementals, and those who could warp minds and material and it broke your heart knowing that they were likely being exploited. 

You were the only one fitted for the mission. Wanda was out with Strange in Tibet currently, Bruce Banner was too well known, Nebula wouldn’t have qualified and frankly, Rocket was less than suitable for playing the submissive naive role. 

You however, were trained for this— two semesters at Julliard before being inducted with SHIELD and working directly with a revived Natasha Romanoff gave you that.

The wings sprouting from your back didn’t hurt either. 

You’d been born with them and then ultimately rejected to live with Charlie at XSGY, and were raised by him and Storm. You’d grown up alongside Jean Grey and Scott Summers and thankfully, they had turned out to be the only family you ever really wanted. 

Then, you had joined the Avengers— a tight knit team who had saved the world from the largest threat in the universe and had opened the doors to new recruits. You had felt the need to spread your wings (pun intended) after 22 years of living at the School and had scored the interview. It wasn’t long until you were living in the compound on the top floor with the majority of the team— you’d trained with Natasha and Wanda, practiced flying and air combat with Rhodey and Sam and sat across the couch from Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. 

Eventually, however, Steve had left your weekly movie nights with poor excuses every time. ‘Natasha and I need to head tot he lab— Bruce needs us’, or ‘I’m volunteering at the Humane Society (yes, at 8pm)’, or your favourite ‘yeah— I adopted a dog. Her name is Cap’. Bucky and You had watched him make excuse after excuse until he had just stopped showing up altogether. 

What followed was an instance of one too many times falling asleep on him. One too many times of reaching for the popcorn at the same time. One too many times that he would wrap his arm around your shoulders and brush your wings with his fingers and make you moan against him before pulling away with a hot blush on your cheeks. When he had found out that your wings were the most sensitive part of your body, he had taken advantage of it— Steve commented every time he would flirt with you how much the old Bucky was coming back— touching them as he passed you in the kitchen, tugging the tips of your white feathers when you were in training and catching you off guard. 

You eren’t all that subtle with your actions either. You’d steal his knives from his holsters during training— stepping too close to him and sneaking your hand over his hip and down his thigh before stealing his favourite knife (Rebecca) and throwing it dead centre over his shoulder and into the simulated target. You’d make his coffee in the morning and fan him with your wings after a particularly gruelling training session with Sam or Nat. 

The instances of you and Bucky flirting had come to a head one night— no special night in particular— but you had been baking cookies in the kitchen late at night and he had joined you (‘Why’re you up, Buck?’ ‘Nightmare.’ ‘Wanna talk about it?’ ‘Nah, I just want a cookie.’), taken a handful of cookies and had kissed you gently goodnight. 

His lips had been soft on yours— nothing like the hairy bull of assassin in front of you. His calloused hands were gentle on the side of your neck and waist, and his tongue had barely teased your bottom lip before he pulled away, backed up with the cookies in hand and a small smile on his face, raised the cookies in salute and turned to leave the kitchen. 

The following days had been full of talks in the dark of the kitchen— trying to figure out grounds and rules and limits for a relationship until you’d figured everything out and showed up to the family Sunday breakfast holding hands and blushing furiously. There were no hollers of joy, Steve was the only one to say ‘I’m happy for you’, but their relationship was obviously received well due to everyones knowing and satisfied smirks. 

That had been six months ago, and now it was time for you to become a real Avenger and have your first mission. 

You walked into your room where you knew Bucky would be curled up in the middle of your nest and took off your leggings, leaving your sweater on and climbing into the bed with him. He hummed, just waking up from his nap and opened his arms, sighing dreamily when his fingers found their place deep in your feathers. You shivered against him and threw a leg and a wing over him and pulled him closer. 

“How was the meeting?” He mumbled and you let out a long breath. 

“I leave tomorrow for three months.” You stated and his head lifted, looking at you through squinted incredulous eyes. 

“For your first mission?” He grumbled and you shrugged. 

“It’s a crime against mutants, and Wanda isn’t available.” You said and ran your hands through his long hair. 

“Someone needs to do something, Buck. The way these girls are being treated should never be allowed in the first place.” You mumbled and Bucky propped himself on his elbows and towered over you. 

“Girls? YN what are you getting yourself into?” He asked lowly and you sucked in a breath. 

“You know I can’t tell you, Buck.” You whispered and his face tightened. 

“Is it what I think it is?”

“Probably.” You replied and his head fell into the crook of your neck and moaned. 

“I don’t like it but you’re much more stubborn and brave than me and Steve were at your age. I know you’ll kill it.” He sniffed and you cooed at him, pulling him on top of you and wrapping both wings around him, hiding him from the world for your own selfish reasons. 

“I love you. Have I told you that today?” You whispered and he snuck his arms under your back and nuzzled your breastbone. 

“Only this morning when I gave you your coffee.” He joked and you giggled. 

“Well, I love you. I love you always, James.”

_____________________

That had been three months ago— your last truly happy memory you could remember. The mission had been worse than the briefings and therapy sessions had prepared you for. Your wings had grown sparse with stress and abuse, and your thin hands shook as they glued dollar store feathers into the sparse areas. Your show was up in an hour, and your wings had to be beautiful but this— gluing fake feathers onto yourself— felt dirty and shameful. You had lost about fifty pounds in three months— the Ringleader (he never showed his face or said his real name) was sure to have all his girls as small and dainty as possible so they would be easier to control by the men who paid for your services. Less of a fight if there was less calories in you.

“You missed a spot. Hand me a feather, please.” A small voice piped up from behind you. You lowered your wing to reveal your closest friend here. She was nothing more than 5’1— small, petite stature, but the reason she was such a main showgirl was the tiger fur covering her body. She had normal human hands, but her fingernails were made to be pointed to better represent claws. Her tail had been broken by the Ringmaster in many places so it had a handful of cricks alone the meter long appendage. Her eyes were the most beautiful thing you had ever seen— sparkling gold (jaded by years of this place) and impossibly black slits down the centre. You were always nervous when those same eyes landed on her, but one night when Ringmaster had rewarded them with the highest quality narcotics, you had giggled mercilessly over how much the slits had dilated. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, turning back to the mirror and beginning to brush on concealer over the cut on her jaw. 

“You’re nervous.” Sasha whispered and you let your shoulders drop. “Why?”

“There’s something I should have told you the second you took me under your wing— no stop laughing— but I’ll have to tell you after tonight.” You sniffed and winced when the bristles of your brush caught the edges of the newly formed scab. 

“Why can’t you tell me now?” Sasha asked and just as you were about to respond, there was a ‘places’ call for you— the finale. 

“I promise. After tonight, no more secrets.” You tried to smile reassuringly as you rose to your feet. Your platform stilettos made it so that you were at least a foot taller than Sasha and you wrapped your arms around her neck in a tight embrace. “I’ll come back for you.”

Tonight was it— you had finally gathered enough evidence about who the Ringmaster was and evidence of the abuse that went on with his girls. Bucky and Sam and Steve and Nat and Tony were here and your hands shook as you asked towards the curtains and waited for the Ringmaster to announce you. It wasn’t long until he did. 

“Now, please allow me to introduce to you my gem. My life and love and my favourite prize. My favourite treasure that I share with you when the sun sets. Please welcome, My Angel!”

____________________

Bucky hated everything about this situation. He hated the smoke in the air fo the bar. He hated the cracked fake leather fo the couches. He hated the dirty stained curtains that covered the walls. He hated seeing girls parading around in nothing but their mutations as men and women alike slammed them down on there laps and had their way with them right there. He hated how he could see bruises, and ribs and hipbones and limps in some of the dancers. He hated the man’s voice who announced every dancer as /his/ as if these victims were a collection. 

He hated most that you were last. He hated that you were /his/ angel. He hated how much his breath left his lungs as the heavy curtains were pulled back to reveal someone who looked like you. 

You’d lost a lot of weight very quickly— it showed in your face and hips. You’d very obviously had your nose broken— and he knew better than the drunk patrons that the places on your cheekbone, jaw and lip were heaviest— likely due to the abuse you’d endured. He knew you were too young for this but he had never been one to tell you how to do something. 

He wish he had chains you to your bed until you forgot about doing this. 

You began to walk under the lights on you, leaving you exposed in nothing but a silk robe, kneepads, impossibly high heels and likely a lingerie set. You eyed the pole as if it was the sexiest thing you’d ever seen and grabbed it, stroking it as if it were the prettiest cock in the world while making eye contact with some sweaty overweight man in the front row. He, in kind, threw what looked like a hundred dollar billet you and you winked, reaching under the hem of your robe and tucking it into your bra. 

You dropped and bounced while the pole remain between your legend smirked, undoing the fabric belt holding your robe closed and pulled it open, revealing a deep red lingerie set that matched your kneepads and heels and a sudden explosion of money landed on the stage. You threw your head back and laughed, spinning on your knees and backing your ass against the pole began to twerk. 

“Bucky—“ Sam tried, but it was too late. The tumbler in his hand had already exploded and Bucky found it suddenly very hard as a man in a business suit slapped the stage excitedly. You crawled towards him on your hands and knees and raised your wings wide and proud and the crowd lost their mind. 

“I can’t fucking watch this anymore.” Bucky snarled into the comms and he could hear Steve huff. 

“Buck— we corresponded with her last night. She has a plan. In the folds of the curtains on the stage there’s a pistol. When the Ringmaster comes down and closes the night she’ll shoot him in the knees and we’ll take it from there. Stay calm. She’s stronger than she looks.” Steve warned cautiously and Steve could feel his heart break for his best friend. He never did like seeing Natasha sell her femininity to complete a mission, and he voiced it multiple times as the two would get ready for bed together. 

“She’s doing… really well, Ice.” Tony tried and Bucky cut him off with a snarl as you leaned forward and kissed the Business Man who gave you a large wad of cash. You smirked and shouldered your robe off, pushing it into his hands and winking. The man fell back into the chair as if dazed. 

You stood again, hands squeezing your breasts as you flapped your wings and flew to the top of the pole. There was a pause, and then a red bra falling from the roof followed by you who slid down the pole head first and breasts bared. Your wings flapped cautiously as your head almost touched the stage, but you’d clenched your thighs in time, stopping in time. Your nipples were hard due to the anxiety and chill of the room but a raging monster which had ignited in Bucky’s whole body roared loudly. No. This was something only /he/ should be able to see— that was /his/ best girl. You put your hands on the ground and let one leg fall down, slipping it past the floor and landing in the splits where you once against began to twerk towards the edge of the stage. You rolled over onto your butt and lay back, lifting her legs in the air and shimmying your underwear over your thighs and calves and leaving your body wholly exposed for the crowd. You rolled over and faced leaned against the pole, spreading your legs and exposing your sex as you flung the underwear right into someone wearing a ‘Bride to Be!’ Sash’s face. 

He had to give her credit, you did know how to work a crowd. 

You were crawling through cash— writhing for the crowd and shaking your body for anyone with a dime in their wallets for who knows how long. Bucky had stopped watching, tears welling up in his eyes as he thought about the pain you had endured these past three months— without him or any of the team you called family. 

Eventually the music stopped, and the crowd stood, applauding and yelling nasty things they would like to do to you. You stood, and pranced over to the man who had walked on stage. His face was covered by a balaclava and your wings flapped nervously as his placed a hand on your ass and pulled you to his side. He grabbed your face roughly and slammed his lips onto your own and your wings went stiff— the same way they did when you were about to cry or when you were in an emotional low. 

His mouth dipped down to harshly bite your nipple and you tend your head away from the crowd as they screamed happily. His free hand not holding a microphone cupped your sex eagerly and Bucky saw red when the Ringmaster dipped to fingers into your cunt, pulling them out and sucking them into his mouth. 

“You did just as well as you taste, Angel.” He crooned into the microphone and you didn’t make eye contact as you turned towards the stage entrance, hand landing on the curtain as you looked back over the crowd. As if it were natural, your eyes landed on him and Bucky could see your chin wobble and a deeply relieved smile spread across your face. 

“Doors are locked, and the feds are waiting. Whenever YN is ready.” Tony informed and Bucky stalked towards the stage with Sam beside him. Before he could hop on the stage, you had turned around, closed one eye and pointed the guns hat had appeared in your hands at the back of the Ringmasters knees, shooting both of them out. Bucky couldn’t hear the screams, then because you had broken character, dropping the gun and running downt he stage to your man. 

You jumped off the stage and into his arms and Bucky nodded at Sam who threw a shock blanket over your wings and shoulders. Bucky curled his arms around your waist and pulled you close, nosing your neck and holding you as you sobbed— great heaving sounds that shook him to his core. 

“I’m here, Princess. I’m here. Always and forever, baby.” He crooned, continuing to whisper sweet nothings as you buried yourself in him and he watched as the Feds and MPD arrest anyone and everyone they could get their hands on. 

Justice had never been a greater relief than having his girl in his arms and the man who had tortured her for three months being slammed into he stage and handcuffed. No punishment would be enough, but the seventeen life sentences he had been told about seemed good enough. 

“I love you.” You cried and he held you closer, his head breaking over how tiny you’d become and over the state of your wings. He could see the fake feathers, now and how small the muscles at the base fo them had become. He pulled back and held your cheeks in his welcomingly hot hands and your glistening eyes looked at him. 

“I love you, YN. I love you so much.” He pressed his lips to your gently, and you flinched lightly before warming up to him again. You had had to remind yourself that this huge, hulking man would never lay a finger on you. You were safe. You were safe with Bucky. 

“I’m not— I can’t do much more than kissing for a long time, I think.” You said, sniffling and he pulled you closer, tucking you under his arm as you toed off your heels and slipped them into he sandals Steve had brought you. 

“You were brilliant, YN. Not up there— well, yeah up there but that’s not what I mean, you know? I meant that you did something amazing doing this.” Steve had fumbled and you rolled your eyes and laughed slightly. 

“Nice to see you too, Steve.” Steve had shown himself out when Bucky glared particularly hard at him nd you turned back to Bucky. 

“I have a request.” You asked and Bucky nodded immediately. 

“Anything.”

“I have a friend who needs a home.”

“Done.”

____________________

It had been a week since the team returned from Miami. A week since Ringmaster— Victor Doom— had been arrested. A week since the Avengers welcomed their new teammate, Sasha. 

A week since Bucky had seen you. 

You’d shut yourself in your room as soon as the med bay had ceased you. You didn’t attend the debriefings— you’d sent in all of your files by e-mail, and had left voice memos on the parts which were unclear. Your voice was empty and soft and nothing like the boisterous, outspoken woman you had been before you had left. 

Sasha had found Bucky in the gym late at night and she had perched herself on the bench by his things until he had beat the shit out of several leather punching bags. He turned and saw the feline woman waiting and sighed, trudging over to her and sitting on the bench next to her. He thanked Sasha for the ice water bottle she handed him and hunched over, holdings head in his hands. 

“Why is this happening?” He whispered and she sighed. 

“You want the real truth or the fluffy truth?” She replied and Bucky looked over at her, resting his cheek in his hand and asking for the first option. 

“He treated her the worst. In the three months he’d known her, he totally attached himself to her. She was forced to sleep in his room, and she was the finale every night. She was his prized possession. I have a theory since she has those beautiful white wings he thought she was an angel of some sort— and if you had an angel under your foot it made you a God. Ringma— Victor was drunk on that power. She needs time, and she needs to relearn that men aren’t going to hurt her.” She shrugged and he rubbed his wet eyes with his fists. 

“I should have never let her go on that mission.” He whimpered and her hand was warm as it rested on his forearm. 

“I also know she was the strongest. Out of all fo us she was the strongest, and the bravest and the kindest. Whenever he would want one of us she was there with her gentle hands and her smile and she was there. I think that’s what she needs. Is someone to just show her kindness with no alterior motive.” Sasha mumbled and he stood, looking down at her. She handed him his bag and offered a small smile which showed her tiny fangs. 

“Thank you, Sasha. I’m happy you’re here.” He said and the fur on her arms rose. Bucky nodded at her and she smiled at her hands as he left her to go to his girl. His beautiful girl who needed him. 

____________________

The room was dark when he opened the door. The black out curtains and windows were shut and there were no lights on— even the alarm clock on your bedside table had been unplugged. Bucky wasn’t even sure if you knew what day it was as he crawled on the bed towards you, hand falling on your shoulder as he turned on the soft warm light on your headboard. 

You jumped when you felt his touch, wings flapping up and launching you instinctually across the room. Your eyes, usually warm in colour had turned an ice white, and your stance was immediately offensive. You looked wild and it broke Bucky’s heart. 

He kneeled on the bed and held his hands open non-threateningly, slowly walking towards you. 

“YN, It’s me, James Buchanan Barnes. It’s September 22nd, 2024 and we’re in Northern New York. Your best friend is Natasha Romanoff and you’re safe here.” He said immediately, making his chest rumble as he spoke to make his voice sound rounder and warmer. Your wings unruffled slightly and lowered until his hands touched yours and you shoved him away from yourself, launching him back onto the bed. He had forgotten how truly powerful you were— you were always gentle with him. 

“Your favourite colour is yellow. Not the primary colour version, but a warmer version of it— like a dark sunflower. Your favourite movie is the Zookeepers Wife because you love Jessica Chastain and because it’s genuinely an amazing movie. Your favourite music is pop, but you pretend to be cool and say alternative music. You love leg day at the gym but you hate arm and ab day.” He tried again, shaking himself off and walking back towards you. This time, he was able to touch your arms, and brush back your hair from your face. Eventually, your irises came back, and you blinked up at him as if you hadn’t known you were in the defensive. 

“YN?” He whispered and you shook your head, swaying and falling into his arms, wings limp behind you. He picked you up easily and put you on the bed. 

“What— why’re you in here? I locked the door and I’m not really in the mood—“

“You need someone, YN. You’re not alone and you’re safe. I’m not going to touch you anymore unless you want it, but you need help and I’m here for you.” He whispered and you sucked in a big breath, laying back down and turning your back on him. 

“I don’t need help.” Your voice was small and unsure and Bucky nodded. Instead of leaving, he walked to the window and pushed the curtains open slightly so he could unlatch the windows and push them open. He closed them again and turned to the mess of the floor, beginning to clean it up. He took a washcloth from your bathroom and wiped the dust off of the flat surfaces of your room and lit a candle— your favourite— so the room could smell better than it was right now. 

“You do.” He said finally, and he was unsure if you were awake to hear him. “You do, and I’m not going anywhere. You got me until you don’t want me anymore, baby.” He said, opening the door and leaving once more. He wasn’t sure you had heard him until he got three feet from the door and heard one, heaving sob from your room followed by silence. 

God, he hoped you’d want him until the end of time. 

______________________

The plates of food were hot in Bucky’s hands as he toed open your door. It was a quick recipe that his ma had taught him (the only dish he’d remembered— even back then), and just so happened to be one of your favourite meals. 

“YN?” He called, noticing that your sheets were rumbled and empty. The curtains were still closed, but the window had remained open and the light had remained on from when he’d visited early int he morning- or late last night. 

There was no response but Bucky put the dishes on your desk and noticed the the light from under the bathroom door was peeking through. He walked across the room and knocked, calling your name once more. When he was greeted with a small cry and a sound of frustration, Bucky’s mind went to the darkest place and he slammed the door open, expecting to see the worst. 

Instead, he saw you facing the mirror, a garbage bag half full fo broken or dead feathers. He’d frightened you again, but insured of becoming defensive like you had last night, your eyes spilled over with tears. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in and call. I’m sorry, please.” You begged and Bucky’s heart went to his throat. 

“I’m not gonna hurt you, baby. I thought you were hurting yourself so I got scared. I’m sorry I scared you” He whispered and YN’s chin wobbled as she nodded. 

“Do you— do you need help?” He asked you, noticing that the place where feather met flesh was left untouched. You’d never been able to reach that part of your wings, and always had himself or Natasha help you. 

“What?” You asked, looking at him through the mirror. 

“Do you need help? Preening, I mean?” He asked again and you breathed in a large breath and nodded, watching as he slowly moved towards you, making his movements obvious as to not frighten you. “I’m gonna touch your wings now, okay?”

You nodded and sniffed and his fingers found their favourite place in your feathers. He picked out the soft downy feathers that had turned brown, and then moved to the larger feathers, apologizing profusely when it hurt or he pulled too slowly. It was another half hour before he finished, and he ran his fingers in the direction the feathers naturally fell. 

“Can I kiss your shoulder?” He whispered, looking at you through the mirror. Your wings twitched and he swore the tips of your ears got darker. 

“Yes.” You breathed and he didn’t break eye contact as he dipped his head and placed his lips on your shoulder, holding them there for a few seconds before kissing it again quickly and rising to his full height. 

“Want to shower and I’ll set dinner up? We can watch something on Netflix— we don’t even need to touch or talk if you don’t want to.” He said, fingers on your wings again, making you shiver. 

Your bottom lip trembled and you nodded slowly, turning to him and placing your hands on his chest. You flattened the wrinkles in his t-shirt and didn’t look into his eyes as he kissed your forehead and turned to go. 

“Call em if you need me, babe.” He said softly and he turned back to look at you, averting his eyes quickly as you began to pull off your clothes despite him seeing it all before numerous times. 

___________________

So, Bucky waited quietyl, listening for you to call him but he waited and waited until you came out fo the bathroom forty minutes later with your hair sleek and clean (for the first time since you’d left) and skin shaved and scrubbed raw. Your skin as pink from irritation fo your exfoliator and cloths and scrubs and heat rashes patterned your body due to the boiling water you’d used. 

“You okay?” Bucky asked, voice quiet and gruff. You looked at him and seemingly remembered he was there. You hugged your robe closer and he looked at his hands to give you the privacy you’d had taken away from you in Miami. 

“I— I will be. Maybe one day. I’m sorry I took too long, I needed to get /him/ off of me.” She replied, shifting her feet. She moved to her dresser and pulled out the softest clothes she could find, pulling them on and slowly moving toward her bed to sit two feet away from Bucky. 

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I— you shouldn’t have to feel you need to hang around. You deserve someone good.” You said and he looked at you sharply, making your gaze fall quickly to your shaking hands. His hand moved to cradle your chin and lift your gaze to his own. His eyes were warm and soft and nothing like the men you’d encountered in that god forsaken club. 

“Hey, you hung around me when I had my nightmares. You told me I was more than my trauma and more than the things I’d done. I’m here for you who you are now. Not who you were before.” He murmured and your eyes filled with tears. 

“But I’m— I had to do /things/ with other men. What if im all used up, or broken or something.” You cried and he scooted closer, petting your cheek. 

“I love you for who you are now. That’s the broken and the dark and the light.” He reaffirmed. 

“But what if I never want to have sex again? What if I can’t do that for you?” You whispered. The very thought of intercourse right now made you want to vomit for years. 

“Then I don’t want it. I don’t want sex if you don’t want it. I only ver want to be with you for the rest of my life, YN.” He continued and you sobbed, hands falling to your hands and shaking with grief and relief. You believed him— it was hard not to when he spoke to you like that or when he looked at you like that. 

“Do you want me to straighten out your feathers so they don’t dry wonky?” He asked and you felt yourself blush involuntarily. You wings flapped lightly and Bucky’s hair moved in their wind. 

“You’ll— you’ll stop if I ask you to?”

“Immediately. In a heartbeat.”

“Promise?” You asked. You’d been promised men would stop before— they never did. 

“Pinky swear.” He held out his pinky and you smiled softly, wrapping your own pinky around his. If Bucky Barnes followed any rule in the world it would be never breaking a pinky promise. He pulled your hand to his lips and they were warm and soft against your knuckles. His gaze made your cheeks flush pleasantly, and maybe, you would be okay one day. 

Pushing back the anxiety in your heart and chanting mantras of affirmations in your head that Bucky wouldn’t hurt you, that Bucky loved you, that Bucky would be here for some time you sat still as he crawled onto his knees on the bed behind you and began tugging your feathers gently. You fell into a half-dazed state— the feeling of someone you knew you could trust combing through the most sensitive part fo your body was something you truly missed. You missed the gentle intimacy that came with good men, and you were grateful you had managed to fall in love with the best one of them all. 

[prosopopeya]

i’m bad at music and only listen to like 5 bands but here’s a collection of songs i would put onto a general spn mixtape bc either they 1) aren’t about dean/cas or 2) don’t map exactly perfectly onto the pov of one character/are an au or 3) are fun

the “i’ve been listening to taylor swift for two months straight” collection:

here’s a song crowley would listen to and drink and think about dean and cry:

‘tis the damn season + We could call it even / You could call me "babe" for the weekend / ​'Tis the damn season, write this down / I'm stayin' at my parents' house / And the road not taken looks real good now

here’s a song for literally everyone on spn:

marjorie + And if I didn't know better / I'd think you were listening to me now / If I didn't know better / I'd think you were still around / What died didn't stay dead / What died didn't stay dead / You're alive, you're alive in my head

here’s a song for claire when cas showed up again before she forgave him:

closure + It's been a long time / And seeing the shape of your name / Still spells out pain / It wasn't right / The way it all went down / Looks like you know that now

here’s a song for the entire purgatory experience. is it about dean/benny? bc dean was so focused on cas, and sam, and dean eventually had to kill benny and send him back to purgatory to save his brother? is it about how dean thought he left cas behind in purgatory, how he spent a year searching endlessly for him? is it about how cas keeps leaving dean: first, rejecting his hand in purgatory, then running off with the angel tablet? anyway i have 1000 feelings and should write a purgatory fic one day

coney island + And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island / Wondering where did my baby go? / The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go / Sorry for not making you my centerfold / Over and over

here’s a song that doesn’t map exactly bc it talks about childhood and dean and cas were not friends then however it is about dean and cas (or maybe benny too bc of the pirates who knows):

seven + And I've been meaning to tell you / I think your house is haunted / Your dad is always mad and that must be why / And I think you should come live with me / And we can be pirates / Then you won't have to cry / Or hide in the closet / And just like a folk song / Our love will be passed on

speaking of benny here’s that high school au where he’s pining for dean endlessly but he also knows that dean was never his either:

august + Your back beneath the sun / Wishin' I could write my name on it / Will you call when you're back at school? / I remember thinkin' I had you

the “5 songs for how 5 years ago all i listened to was death cab on repeat” collection:

a classic song i shouldn’t have to explain:

some boys + Some boys are singing, some boys are singing the blues / Joylessly flinging with the girls that they're bringing / To their rooms, and then leave when they're through / Some boys are sleeping, some boys are sleeping alone / Cause there's no one that's keeping them warm through evening / And they know that they're on their own / 'Cause some boys don’t know how to love

is this one about dean? is it about sam? is it about cas? we just don’t know

you are a tourist + And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born / Then it's time to go / And define your destination / There's so many different places to call home / Because when you find yourself the villain in the story you have written / It's plain to see / That sometimes the best intentions are in need of redemptions / Would you agree? / If so please show me

this song is about peter and jason from bare which means it is also about dean and cas high school au:

we looked like giants + God damn the black night, with all its foul temptations / I've become what I always hated when I was with you then / We looked like giants in the back of my grey subcompact / Fumbling to make contact as the others slept inside

this song isn’t about dean bc he’s an asshole to cas on a regular basis but i think of him every time i hear it:

you can do better than me + I have to face the truth / That no one could ever look at me like you do / Like I'm something worth holding onto / There's times I think of leaving / But it's something I'll never do / 'Cause you can do better than me / But I can't do better than you

this song is too clingy for crowley and dean however it is about crowley and dean:

i will possess your heart + How I wish you could see the potential / The potential of you and me / It's like a book elegantly bound, but / In a language that you can't read just yet / You gotta spend some time, love / You gotta spend some time with me / And I know that you'll find, love / I will possess your heart

the “sometimes spotify shows me new things” collection:

this song is about both winchester boys bc of all the car imagery (dean) and also bc the singer is planning on escaping (sam):

this year - the mountain goats + I am going to make it through this year / If it kills me / I am going to make it through this year / If it kills me / I drove home in the California dusk / I could feel the alcohol inside of me hum / Pictured the look on my stepfather's face / Ready for the bad things to come

this song is 100% what charlie would put on a playlist for dean to celebrate him coming out to her:

bad liar - selena gomez + I was walking down the street the other day / Tryna distract myself / But then I see your face / Oh wait, that's someone else / Tryna play it coy / Tryna make it disappear / But just like the battle of Troy / There's nothing subtle here

does cas keep his hands to himself? mostly yes but he still listens to this and thinks about dean

hands to myself - selena gomez + The doctors say you're no good / But people say what they wanna say / And you should know if I could / I'd breathe you in every single day / All of the downs and the uppers / Keep making love to each other / And I'm trying, trying, I'm trying, trying

i wish i could quote this entire song. this entire song is about dean except for the specific bit in the beginning about the mom calling insane and high and the pov rejecting her:

a better son/daughter - rilo kiley + But you'll fight and you'll make it through / You'll fake it if you have to / And you'll show up for work with a smile / And you'll be better, and you'll be smarter / And more grown up, and a better daughter / Or son, and a real good friend

[stereostevie]

The Rap Grammy Nominations Are Weird As Hell | Nov 25, 2020 11:12 AM BY TOM BREIHAN

The very first time that the Grammy Awards recognized rap music, it was an utter fiasco — a clear case of an aging pop-music establishment failing to understand this vital new youth music that had sprung up and rewritten the rules. For the 1989 awards show, the Grammys added one rap category, Best Rap Performance. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince won it for “Parents Just Don’t Understand,” beating out LL Cool J and Salt-N-Pepa and Kool Moe Dee and JJ Fad. The show didn’t deign to recognize Public Enemy, N.W.A, EPMD, Slick Rick, Big Daddy Kane, Eric B. & Rakim, or Ice-T, all of whom had released classic albums within the voting window. The award wasn’t televised, and most of the nominees, Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince included, skipped the show, attending a “Boycott The Grammys” party instead.

Since that night, the history of rap at the Grammys has been a series of baffling, embarrassing decisions. It’s Steely Dan winning Album Of The Year over The Marshall Mathers LP. It’s Gretchen Wilson winning Best New Artist over Kanye West. “It’s weird and it sucks that I robbed you.” It’s also a history of rappers getting angry over the Grammys: “I never let a statue tell me how nice I am,” “You think I give a damn about a Grammy?” In 2019, Drake showed up to accept Best Rap Song. In his acceptance speech, he talked about how the Grammy voters weren’t necessarily the right people to define rap success. The broadcast cut him off mid-speech. Earlier this year, Kanye West, a man who once cared more about Grammy Awards than anyone else not named Neil Portnow, tweeted a video of himself pissing on one of his Grammys. (The Grammys still nominated West this year, for Best Contemporary Christian Music Album.)

Yesterday, the Grammys nominated Freddie Gibbs and the Alchemist’s Alfredo in the Best Rap Album category. That’s great! Freddie Gibbs is a great underground rap success story, a guy who bet on himself and kept doing great work in his own lane even after multiple major-label situations fell apart. Gibbs has never made a hit song in his life, and he’s gotten himself into a position where he doesn’t need to make hit songs — where he can just follow his instincts and keep his own style intact. Alfredo isn’t my favorite rap record of the year. (Even in the field of Alchemist-produced 2020 rap albums, I’d give the slight edge to Boldy James’ The Price Of Tea In China.) But the nomination for Alfredo is still a very cool surprise, the kind of thing that I would’ve never expected to see from the Grammy nominating committee.

And yet Gibbs’ nomination doesn’t exactly announce a new golden age of Grammy rap consideration, a time when Recording Academy voters are finally figuring out how to approach the genre. Instead, his nomination points toward something else: An institutional recognition of middlebrow, middle-aged, respectable rap music.

All of this year’s Best Rap Album nominees are Black men between the ages of 35 and 47. The oldest nominee is Nas, who is now on his fifth Best Rap Album nomination and who has never won the award. (The Best Rap Album Grammy didn’t exist in 1994, when Nas released Illmatic, but there’s no way in hell that Nas would’ve won it anyway. The Academy would’ve given the award to Coolio’s It Takes A Thief or something.) The youngest nominee is D Smoke, a former high school Spanish teacher who is also the brother of the TDE R&B singer SiR. D Smoke made his way into Grammy contention after winning the first season of Rhythm + Flow, the Netflix rap-competition show. (Two of the three judges from Rhythm + Flow, Cardi B and Chance The Rapper, have won Best Rap Album themselves. T.I., the other judge, has been nominated three times and never won.)

D Smoke isn’t exactly a revered or popular rapper, and I have’t seen anyone calling his perfectly-OK album Black Habits a masterpiece, though the man has certainly done better than anyone could’ve expected from a rap reality-show winner. But D Smoke raps exactly like a diet version of Kendrick Lamar, so his nomination works as a clear indication that the Grammy voters really, really wish they had a Kendrick album to nominate. D Smoke is also up for Best New Artist, alongside fellow rappers Chika, Megan Thee Stallion, and (I guess) Doja Cat. Presumably, Megan’s Good News would also be nominated if it had come out early enough to be eligible. Meanwhile, Chika hasn’t released an album, and Doja Cat is nominated in the pop categories, not the rap ones.

Instead, then, we’re looking at five guys hovering around the age of 40, all of whom are respected technicians with boom-bap inclinations. Jay Electronica, who’s nominated for A Written Testimony and who should probably be considered the front-runner, is technically a New Orleans native, but nobody thinks of him as a Southern rapper. (Jay-Z is all over A Written Testimony, to the point where anointing Jay Electronica feels a bit like throwing awards love to Jay-Z in a year with no Jay-Z album.) All the albums up for Best Rap Album are, at the very least, solid. A couple of them, Alfredo and A Written Testimony, are very good. But this is still a remarkably stodgy list — one that shows that the whole middle-aged respectability fetish that’s long plagued the Grammys is now embedded in its rap voting wing.

Freddie Gibbs and Nas and Jay Electronica and D Smoke and Royce Da 5’9″ are all gifted rappers who have done great work. Most of them could justifiably be considered legends. But none of them really show the world where rap music is, let alone where it’s going. By recognizing those albums, the Grammys have pointedly elected not to recognize something like Lil Baby’s My Turn, which is probably 2020’s most popular album in any genre and which is also a fine example of the 808-heavy depressive melodic-goo rap music that currently dominates the genre’s mainstream.

Other hugely popular, artistically important albums are also absent: Lil Uzi Vert’s Eternal Atake, Roddy Rich’s Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial, Polo G’s The Goat, Gunna’s Wunna, Rod Wave’s Pray 4 Love. Instead, the rap albums getting nominated are the 2020 equivalents of the Steely Dan album that famously beat Eminem. That’s not an indictment of the nominated albums. It’s an indictment of the stuff the Recording Academy values. It’s also a cautionary look of how things might look if the Recording Academy ever gets its way, if rap comes to rely on accepted ossified skill-sets instead of its current state of constant, furious stylistic evolution.

As someone who’s around the same age as this year’s Best Rap Album nominees, I’m not all that amped to see emotionally troubled, pill-gobbling 20-year-olds dominating rap music. But those kids are crucially moving the genre past whatever old men like me might want it to be. Fortunately, there’s at least one Grammy category that has done a pretty good job capturing where things are right now, and that’s Best Rap Song. The list of nominations there — Lil Baby’s “The Bigger Picture,” Roddy Ricch’s “The Box,” Drake’s “Laugh Now, Cry Later,” DaBaby’s “Rockstar,” and Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” — isn’t necessarily perfect, but it’s a fairly accurate representation of the kind of rap that moves people right now. I don’t know why the division between the Best Rap Album and Best Rap Song nominees is so stark. Maybe it’s a signal that the album is increasingly irrelevant. Maybe it reflects two different voting bodies. Either way, it’s striking.

Look, the Grammys are weird. They are always going to be weird. Fiona Apple’s Fetch The Bolt Cutters should’ve been the biggest lay-up in the world, but it isn’t up for Album Of The Year. Instead, the Academy’s voters went for Coldplay and Jacob Collier and a deluxe edition of a Black Pumas album that didn’t even come out in the eligibility period. “Rockstar” and “Savage” are both up for Record Of The Year, but Post Malone’s Hollywood’s Bleeding is the only album that’s even rap-adjacent that’s nominated for Album Of The Year this year. I thought for sure that Lil Baby’s My Turn would be the token rap album that would inevitably lose to Taylor Swift. Instead, we didn’t even get one of those, and My Turn got snubbed even in its own category. Nothing makes sense.

But this year’s Best Rap Albums nominations still show a weird alignment between Grammy Voters and a certain streak of real-hip-hop rap conservatism. Watch out for that. Nothing good, except maybe a Freddie Gibbs Grammy win, will come out of that.

FURIOUS FIVE

1. Roc Marciano – “Downtown 81” It’s not on streaming services yet, but Roc Marciano’s new album Mt. Marci is out in the world now, and it is marvelous. (I can’t tell you whether the digital download is worth the $40 that Marci is charging on his website. Make your own financial decisions.) Right now, the only song out for general consumption is one of the few that Marci didn’t produce himself. (It’s a Jake One beat.) But otherwise, “Downtown 81” is exactly the sort of laid-back, intricately worded deadpan splendor that you can expect to hear on the LP, whenever it goes wide. So maybe that’s worth the price of a full tank of gas.

2. Meek Mill – “GTA” (Feat. 42 Dugg)

Meek Mill released his Quarantine Pack EP on Friday, and the track currently getting the big push is the downbeat Lil Durk collab “Pain Away.” But the real thrill here is in hearing Meek and 42 Dugg getting bracingly urgent over a Detroit-ass bassline.

3. Chief Keef & Mike Will Made-It – “Status” Sosa and Mike Will have evidently chosen to name their new song after this column. Gentlemen, I see this tribute, and I appreciate it. I love you too.

4. Willie The Kid & V Don – “Mother Of Pearls” (Feat. Eto) This is pretty.

5. Statik Selektah – “Play Around” (Feat. Conway The Machine, 2 Chainz, Killer Mike, Allan Kingdom, & Haile Supreme)

Once upon a time, maybe 13 years ago, I was apparently such a recognizable and influential part of the New York rap press that Statik Selektah noticed me at an MOP show, introduced himself, and tried to get me to listen to his mix CD. All these years later, Statik is a globally acknowledged boom-bap specialist with enough juice to put three of the world’s greatest middle-aged rappers on a track together. I’m proud of Statik. I bet he gets nominated for a Grammy someday.

[distant-rose]

Hey so, care to share any of the mood boards and /or playlists that I'm 99% sure you have your your next gen marvel universe?

Okay, I know you sent this like yesterday morning, but you’re asking for me to share a piece of a universe that @justanotherwannabeclassic​ and I have been developing since…July? Which is insane but I made my first post about our Earth-6828 universe on the 26th July 2019. We have an estimated ninety-three characters for this universe that categorized as a next generation or involved in the next generation narrative. Ninety-three characters. Nine. Three. It’s insane. WE’RE INSANE. We created an entire universe over the course of a half year.

Anyway, with that many characters, I don’t think it’s possible to share everything on the internet involving them. So, I’m gonna focus on the OG team - the Daughters of Liberty. They’re the catalyst for Earth-6828 universe and they’re eleven women from different backgrounds and skill sets. We deliberately made a all-female team that’s diverse and we really have fun playing with them. So I’ll share some mood boards and playlists that I made for them.

NOTE: Please note that when I make playlists, I’m a weirdo with very specific rules. I make playlists made of songs sung by the genre of music I think the character would listen to, in the gender they identify with and I only do one song per artist. So, a character like Bekka who likes old school country and jazz, she’s a big fan of Duke Ellington and Miles Davis and Wendy Nguyen who is folksy really likes the Lumineers and the Mountain Goats but neither of those artists are featured on those lists because both characters are female and I like to think of the songs as being from their perspective. It’s really weird but I feel the need to make the disclosure.

I’m gonna put this under the cut because this is gonna be LOOOOONG. Also, if you’re interested in other characters and nuances of the universe, you’re also welcome to hit up not just me but also Shea because she’s done some amazing work too.

Valeria “Val” Richards

Val Richards is an Earth-616 canon character and the daughter of Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) and Susan Storm (Invisible Woman). She’s the smartest woman in the world and holds more degrees than she knows what to do with. She’s constantly working on a new degree and really hates the amount of condescension she gets sometimes from people who don’t believe how smart she is and underestimate her. It’s half the reason she’s involved with the team - she wanted to show that she and the women she works with shouldn’t be underestimated. She’s the team coordinator and is the most tech savvy. She’s known for drinking her weight in coffee, listening to Led Zeppelin on full blast and always having her hands in one project or another. She has a habit of never going to bed because she’s constantly involving herself in a project and because she’s constantly blasting music, her hearing isn’t always the best. She constantly has people repeat things since she often can’t hear them. Though she’s not involved with the family business, she’s got a great relationship with her parents and especially her brother, Franklin, who is without a doubt her hero. She’s a part of the LONGEST slowburn I’ve ever written and it took SIX YEARS for her and the team empath Wendy to get together. 

Val’s Playlist: Classic and Hard Rock, this is the type of music that Val generally listens to when she’s in the lab. It features Lita Ford, Pat Benator, Joan Jett and The Pretty Reckless. I think shows a lot of her attitude and some of her anger.

Eleanor “El” Rogers

El Rogers is an Earth-85826 canon character and the daughter of Steve Rogers (Captain America) and Sharon Carter (Agent 13). She is a professionally trained spy and is a specialist in various forms of combat. Though she offered the mantle of Captain America to Dani Cage, she is very proud of her father’s legacy and sometimes nags Dani on how she should handle things, which sometimes leads to some contention between the two. Prior to the starting the Daughters of Liberty with Val Richards, she was a SHIELD agent and often known as “Espionage Barbie.” Growing up in the spotlight, she’s a gifted and knowledgeable public relations specialist and has more than a few headaches trying to manage this team and the array of personalities she deals with. Despite her PR skills, she’s naturally more introverted and prefers to spend her time with her close friends and working on her art. Though she’s more like her mother, she did inherit Steve’s sense of justice and morals while also keeping questionable company seeing that she often finds herself in some morally grey company, namely a couple of rebellious Southern mutants and three SHIELD trained professional killers. Most people often see El as perfect but she is riddled with anxiety and constantly beats herself up for not living up to people’s expectations. Before her father’s death, she was seen as very upbeat and friendly, but has been much more subdued and even more argumentative. She’s incredibly stubborn, which often gets her into epic fights with Dani and Meredith, as well as the leaders of the Avengers (Sonny Stark) and X-Men (Olivier LeBeau).

El’s Playlist: El is very much a pop music kinda girl, but her playlist comes with a bit of a twist of her anxieties, depression and desires to live up to that expectations that have been put on her. It features Taylor Swift, Elle King, Demi Lovato and Ruelle.

Danielle “Dani” Cage

Dani Cage is an Earth-616 canon character and the daughter of Luke Cage (Power Man) and Jessica Jones (Jewel). She’s the current Captain America and it’s a job she’s very ambivalent about because as much as she is honored by being bestowed the title, it comes with a lot of pressure and criticism which Dani is not great with. Due to her super strength and invulnerability, she rarely uses the iconic Captain America shield which is one of the many things she gets criticized for by El. Like her parents, Dani is tough as nails, a little rough around the edges and swears like it was its her job. Despite her short fuse, Dani has the biggest heart of them all and tends to come from a place of compassion rather than a place of judgment. This doesn’t stop her from being one of the sassiest members of the Daughters of Liberty however. When she’s not shouldering her duties as Captain America, Dani is working out her frustrations in the gym through boxing and acting as a volunteer for the Harlem Boys and Girls’ Club. Dani is a creature of habit. She goes to the same gym that she’s gone to since she was a little girl despite having a gym in HQ, she eats the same thing for breakfast and orders the same thing whenever she goes out for dinner. Her teammates often make fun of her because of this habit, but with all the stress in her life, she clings to these habits as a source of comfort and normalcy. Dani is best friends and incredibly close to Lucy Rand, who is about 85% of her impulse control. Sometimes the only thing keeping Dani from punching out her teammates and the occasional reporter is Lucy.

Dani’s Playlist: Her playlist is the perfect workout playlist because it’s intense and high energy R&B, Hip-Hop and Rap songs. It’s an ode to black excellence and being unapologetically awesome. It features Beyonce, Cardi B, Lizzo and Salt-N-Pepa.

Lucy Rand

Lucy Rand is an Earth-21722 canon character and the daughter of Danny Rand (Iron Fist) and Misty Knight. She’s a highly skilled martial artist and gifted detective. While Val might be the most intelligent person in the world, Lucy is skilled at picking up social and culture nuances quickly and reading people despite not having empathy and psychic abilities. Despite having great tragedy in her life and losing her parents at a young age, she’s a very positive person who tends to do her best to make any difficult situation manageable. Lucy’s anger rarely comes out but when it does, it usually is when people disregard the sacrifice her parents made. Though privately, she’s very upset with them for not being there for the major events in her life and though Luke Cage and Jessica Jones had a big hand in raising her, they are not her parents. She has a permanent job at handling Dani’s short fuse but she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Like Dani, Lucy is very involved the community, but she has a lot of other outlets including knitting hats and managing the Instagram of her favorite little gremlin - her hairless cat Dobby. Lucy is the type of person who tends to put the focus on everyone but herself, something that the team does their best to curb. Very rarely is Lucy in any photos, mainly because she’s normally the one taking them. While she’s not field commander like Dani and El, she’s certainly the team negotiator when it comes to arguments. Needless to say with the amount of big personalities on the team, there is a fair share of fights she needs to break up and while Dani might be her best friend, Lucy’s most trusted companion is her jumbo sized bottle of migraine reliever pills. 

Lucy’s Playlist: Like Dani’s playlist, Lucy’s playlist features a lot of black excellence, but completely genre. Like Lucy herself, it’s a playlist with a lot of Soul and with a focus on fluidity rather than high energy. It features Aretha Franklin, Nina Simone, Whitney Houston and Ari Lennox.

Rebecca “Bekka” LeBeau

Bekka LeBeau is an Earth-41001 canon character and the daughter of Remy LeBeau (Gambit) and Anna-Marie LeBeau (Rogue). She inherited her father’s kinetic manipulation and her mother’s enhanced durability and flight. A complete Daddy’s Girl, she’s an incredibly gifted thief and has a penchant for using her abilities to blow shit up. However, instead of using playing cards, Bekka’s weapon of choice is…random objects from the dollar store? Don’t be surprised to see this chick throws weaponized plastic army men or marbles at your face. Despite her charisma, revolving door of men and natural extroversion, Bekka rarely opens up to people nor does she let people get close to her. This is a result of a very traumatic event in her childhood that completely changed both of her and older brother’s lives and caused her mutation to develop early at the age of eight. Due to this, she often suffers from nightmares and can be seen putting her absurdly gifted baking skills to work in the middle of the night. She’s the unofficial chef of the team and has introduced the team to a lot of Cajun cuisine. She’s a proud New Orleans girl and prepared to stomp your Southern stereotypes out of you. A running gag with Bekka is that despite being a very observant person, she is a penchant for refusing to see what’s right in front of her if she doesn’t want to see it such as her brother and best friend hooking up or that a certain ginger SHIELD agent is madly in love with her.

Bekka’s Playlist: Like Bekka herself, her playlist is a mixture of old school, new old and a little bit of subtle darkness. It has a mixture of Old School jazz, Classic Country and Southern Rock. It features Billie Holiday, Delta Rae, Dolly Parton and Gin Wigmore.

May “Mayday” Parker

Mayday Parker is an Earth-982 canon character and the daughter of Peter Parker (Spider-Man) and Mary Jane Watson. She inherited Peter’s enhanced physiology and wall-crawling abilities. While Mayday has her father’s intelligence, smart mouth and penchant for science, she’s more of an athlete than a nerd. She’s an avid lover of basketball and even played two years of Division Three basketball at Empire State University. She is a very frustrated New York Knicks and New York Mets fan and is often antagonized by Dani Cage, who has a tendency to be a very obnoxious Yankees fan. Though Mayday has a spot on the Daughters of Liberty team and often works outside the team as a research chemist, she has struggled with her identity since she stopped playing basketball. While she is currently Spider-Girl, she always views it more as her continuing her father’s work rather it being her own thing. Despite being incredibly bright and formidable fighter, Mayday also struggles with a lack of confidence and anxiety. She is often makes sarcastic jokes and often at her own expense. Mayday is loyal friend and often agonizes over the fact her superhero duties sometimes make her break her promises to her friends and family. However, she’s found a good support system in her girlfriend Nancy Lu, a telekinetic member of the X-Men and in her mentor, Val Richards. Though she is seven years older, Mayday often mothers her younger sister Annie, whom she sees as reckless and impulsive.

Mayday’s Playlist: This playlist is a mixture of Alternative and Rock music. It has a lot of songs that deal with self-esteem and discovering who are you is enough. It features Paramore, Avril Lavigne, Halsey and P!nk.

Anne “Annie” Parker 

Annie Parker is Earth-18119 canon character and the daughter of Peter Parker (Spider-Man) and Mary Jane Watson. Like her sister, she inherited her father’s enhanced physiology and wall-crawling abilities but that’s where their similarities end. Like her mother, Annie is an incredibly outgoing personality. With her love for pink, glitter and partying, most people look at Annie and think of her nothing more than an empty-headed party girl who does stupid shit and has nothing to add to the conversation. Wrong! Annie has one of the world’s highest IQs and is usually the smartest person in the room. She’s gifted in both sciences and mathematics. At the start of the story, she’s a student at Empire State University and is pursuing two degrees in Mathematics and Physics. She’s got an endemic memory which helps her manage her schoolwork, hero work and social life. Annie wasn’t initially invited to be a part of the team, but Mayday convinced Val and El to bring her on in hopes of curbing Annie’s partying. She’s a bit of hedonist and often does things to an excess. Since she was a child, Annie has been known for her bubbly attitude and infectiously positive attitude. This was developed at a young age as she rarely saw her older sister happy (not understanding that her sister suffered from depression and anxiety) and she made it her personal mission to make Mayday smile. Annie is a fearless girl with a big heart who doesn’t often think before putting herself in harm’s way, which unknowing stresses out her older sister more.

Annie’s Playlist: This playlist features a lot of Pop, Hip-Hop and Dance music. It’s high energy, upbeat and makes you just want to have a good time. Honestly, a good chunk of these songs have featured on RuPaul’s Drag Race as Lip Sync for your life songs. (Annie is a massive RuPaul fan). It features Arianna Grande, Britney Spears, Rihanna and Tove Lo.

Meredith “Mere” Pryde

Meredith Pryde is an Earth-41001 canon character and the daughter of Piotr Rasputin (Colossus) and Kitty Pryde (Shadow Cat). She inherited her mother’s phasing power, tech skills and ability to make epic callouts. She inherited almost nothing from her father, whom she doesn’t really remember since he died when she was young. She was raised mainly by her mother and her aunt Illyana Rasputin. Meredith joined the Daughters of Liberty so she didn’t have to deal with her brother Cameron second-guessing all of her choices and telling her to calm down. When Meredith sees injustice, she does her best to correct the situation and she doesn’t care who she has to call out. When she’s not doing work for the Daughters of Liberty, Meredith is active activist who is involved in various projects but especially on mutants’ rights. She attends and supports every march she can and her instagram is full of all her favorite protest and march signs that she sees. Aside from being involved in activism, Meredith’s second favorite activity is trolling her teammates, especially those who tend to be nonplussed about things. She’s notorious for her pranks and for playfully flirting with her teammates’ siblings to make them uncomfortable, namely Bekka. While she’s a notorious flirt, she has no interest in relationships and will punch you in the face if you ask her if she has a boyfriend or girlfriend. Though she is involved with the Daughters of Liberty and various movements, Meredith often suffers from loneliness because she doesn’t have a lot of time for herself and fostering her friendships. She’s every girl’s friend, but no one’s best friend. 

Meredith’s Playlist: This playlist highlights Meredith’s confidence and unapologetic nature. She is who she is, and you can take it or leave it. It’s an eclectic list which has mixture of Pop Rock, Pop, Alternative and R&B music. It features Superchick, Billie Eilish, Lily Allen and Icona Pop.

Wendy Nguyen

Wendy Nguyen is a character Shea and I made up, she is not related to anyone. Shocker. She’s a licensed therapist who often treats other superheroes and was actually assigned to El Rogers after the death of her father. She is an empath who is capable of sensing people’s emotions and when she touches them, she gets not only your emotions but your thoughts and even your memories. Her senses are incredibly strong and she often cannot be in the same room when someone is feeling things a bit too strongly, particularly her teammate Maya Ayala during the team’s first year together. Because she feels people’s emotions so strongly, Wendy is often confused whose emotions she is feeling - hers or someone else’s. This is one of the reasons it took her so long for her to admit her feelings for Val. Wendy is often seen as a quiet and thoughtful person who does her best to make her teammates confront their feelings for both her sake and theirs. She has an affinity for tea and has the world’s most absurd tea cabinet which is filled with tea from all over the world from her many travels. She also as an affinity for butterflies, which she views as being similar to human emotions - intense, sometimes beautiful but fleeting and fragile. Wendy often wears gloves to keep herself from accidentally touching others and taking their thoughts and memories without their permission. The ethics of her ability sometimes is a struggle for her since while they allow her to be good at job, however she feels them without control or consent from others. She rarely goes out with her friends in public areas mainly because being around so many people who are feeling a variety emotions is too much for her and causes her to have splitting headaches.

Wendy’s Playlist: Best described as folksy and acoustic. Wendy prefers most chilled out music because feeling others’ emotions can be very overwhelming. However, there’s a range of emotion here because she feels a lot. It features Of Monsters and Men, Regina Spektor, Jolie Holland and Hannah Connelly.

Yasmin “Yas” Khan

Yasmin Khan is a character Shea and I made up, she’s the niece of Kamala Khan (Miss Marvel). Like her aunt, Yasmin has Inhuman heritage alongside holding Pakistani and African heritages from her parents, Aamir and Tyesha. She was exposed to the Terrigen Mists and gained abilities similar to her father in which she can create psychic force fields, however she also has telekinesis and touch-telepathy. Yasmin is a practicing Muslim and while most of the women don’t wear hijabs nor expect her to wear one, she often feels to try and normalize Muslim practices in a society that is suspicious and often hateful towards her culture. She likes to joke that it covers up her bad hair days. Yasmin loves fashion and color, and though she is often the most modest wearing person in the room, she is definitely the most colorful and enjoys outrageous patterns. She is a big lover of pop culture and can often be seen playing Pokemon Go and watching shows on Crunchy Roll on her phone. She has a massive sweet tooth and can be seen in the kitchens watching Bekka bake in hopes of being allowed to have a bite. Though she doesn’t drink, she is best friends with Annie and often accompanies her on nights out and makes sure her friend doesn’t get into any trouble. Yasmin is one of the few people who isn’t out with her personal identity and this is mainly due to her fear of people hurting her family due to the rampant Muslim prejudice in the United States. As one of the youngest members of the team, her teammates are incredibly protective of her and have actually a designated plan ready to cheer her up if they ever see Yasmin is upset, which is called Operation: Yas Smiles. 

Yas’s Playlist: Like Meredith, Yap’s playlist is very colorful and has a diverse range of generics from R&B to Soul and Rap. It has a range of emotions since while Yas is a very cheerful person and absolute sweetheart, there’s some anger there at how she and other Muslims are treated. It features Mona Haydar, SassyBlack, Daya and Azealia Banks.

Maya Ayala

Maya Ayala is a character Shea and I made up, she’s the daughter of Hector Ayala (White Tiger) and the niece of Ava Ayala (White Tiger). Nothing happy ever happens to the Ayala family and unfortunately that saga continues with Maya, who witnessed her entire family and boyfriend being murdered in front of her during a shoot out in the Bronx. She took up the mantle of White Tiger and has been on a search to find their murderer. Before becoming the current incarnation of the White Tiger, Maya was a former competitive gymnast who was almost on the United States Olympic team and was working as a gymnastics coach. However, since the incident, she’s put all of her energy into getting revenge for her family and joined the Daughters of Liberty to honor her aunt and to use her resources to get justice. While her focus is on revenge, her greatest desire is to see her family and her boyfriend again. At the beginning, she kept herself from her teammates because she didn’t want to get attached, but after awhile, she became very close with Wendy, Val, Dani and Lucy. Maya has a secret love for telenovelas which she tries to keep quiet because she’s afraid of being seen as stereotypical. Despite this, she’s very proud Latina and gets pissed off when people write her off as “Mexican” or “foreign,” especially since her family hails from Puerto Rico and she’s just as American as anyone else. However, occasionally she does share her culture with the others, and occasionally makes arroz con gandules and pollo guisado with Bekka for the team. 

Maya’s Playlist: This is list is a mixture of Latin Pop, Alternative and R&B. It holds a mixture of Maya before the loss of her family and after. A lot of the latin pop are from gymnastic routines she would create. However, there’s also a lot of anger and sadness here, which is understandable. It features Audri Nix, Ciara, Lana Del Rey and Skylar Grey.

[skrillahead]

Ten years ago, when I was 23 an old friend introduced me to @taylorswift music. I had just gone through a horrendous breakup to a guy named John and she mentioned how she felt I would appreciate the song “Dear John.” To my surprise it resonated every thought and feeling I was going through. It didn’t take long before I begged her to let me borrow her Speak Now album. I’ll admit here and now that it was one of the fundemental albums I listened to help me recover from one of the worst relationships I’ve ever been in.

Two years later in 2012, history repeated itself. The relationship wasn’t as dramatic or eventful but it still hurt like hell. I mean, how could it not? when no matter how many times you put your love out there they never want to stay. To my surprise Taylor Swift put out her singles for her Red album that fall and I can’t even begin to describe how therapeutic it was to listen to “I knew you were trouble” but also how much I cried every time I listened to “Red” because it really did feel like driving a Maserati down a dead end street *cries even now*

Two years after that in 2014, Taylor’s 1989 album was released and at the time I hadn’t really cared to date anymore. I was happy being on my own and wasn’t looking to detox of any sad emotions but I bought the album because “Shake it off” was just super fun to listen to and I’m so glad that one song convinced me to buy the album because that year I had a falling out with the very friend who introduced me to Taylor’s music. So one can only imagine what song I had on repeat that fall. You guessed it “Bad Blood” it was almost as if she had premeditated my life. Like she knew what was coming before I did and said, “here. This might help”

In 2015, an ex bf from 2006 (my first real bf) sent me a text one night after not speaking for about six years because he was in a new relationship and wouldn’t stop messaging me. Keep in mind, I had never gotten over this guy because he was my first everything. It was hard to forget him (up until this series of events of course) but as hard as it was to ignore him i knew it wasn’t right to talk to him while he had a girlfriend because yes, I believe in karma. The night he textd me we talked for hours. He says “we broke up” and “she wasn’t you” I fight it for a bit but eventually I bite. Not long after, I see him and get to kiss him again. It felt like magic all over again, he even mentioned going on vacation together and getting married but as fast as he came he left. Turns out he was still seeing his “at the time ex” (you can see where this is going) I eventually put all the pieces together and tell him to never speak to me again. I felt so broken and stupid for believing every word he said and for thinking that I could even mean anything to him when he had been with this other girl for 7 years at that point. So what did I do to heal? Like most people I hung out with friends and kept busy but honestly, none of that helped as much as listening to “You’re not Sorry” from the Fearless album on repeat. It was the one album I hadn’t listened to in its entirety yet and when I heard that song I cried like someone spilled onion juice in my eyes but I kept moving forward and eventually got out of my depressive state. So again, thank you for that. Btw fast forward to present time and they’re now married. So, congratulations Mr and Mrs Muir. Side note: there are so many details missing from this but I don’t want to bore anyone with that in the middle of an already long post.

Flash forward to 2016, there wasn’t a new Taylor Swift album. Which almost felt odd considering there had been 2 year gaps between her albums before but I did read a lot about her in the tabloids that year so I figured her absence might’ve been related to it. Regardless, my own personal and very unrealistic agenda for Taylor made me angry with her that year. 2016, was the year Trump ran for President, and as we all know he won. For some crazy reason my head went crazy. I strongly believed that Taylor could’ve kept that man from winning had she used her voice because of how strong her following is but we couldn’t find her until voting day. I conjured up this idea in my head that she was more concerned about losing followers over where she stood in politics than what actually happened to us as a nation. I really don’t know what I was going through that year to be so delusional. It probably didn’t even have to do with Taylor Swift but I did become angry. There was just so much uncertainty by the end of that year that maybe I used her as a scape goat and just started believing all of the negative things that were being posted online about her which in retrospect, wasn’t right and wasn’t fair. She’s still a person with not only her own thoughts and feelings but also her own struggles. So if by any crazy chance you happen to read this I want to say I am deeply sorry.

Okay, so now it’s the year 2017 and I am celebrating one year of living with my awesome new roommate, who legitimately has been one of the bestest if not thee best friend I have ever had and Taylor has released her Reputation album BUT I do a personal protest to not listen to it (because remember? I’m still angry) but it was inevitable. She was everywhere! and while I may not have been a huge fan of the first single, I have to admit when I heard “Ready for it” in that one commercial it got so hard to not want to just listen to it on Spotify because the whole song just sounded so good. Yet, somehow I kept strong.

Flash forward to 2018, and what is this I see? Taylor Swift finally voiced her opinion on politics? Let me tell you, when I say I ran so fast to the Spotify app so fast it felt like my life was depending on it. I relapsed the second Taylor Swift announces her political stance because I may have been wrong about her but I was wrong for a good reason. She showed what she truly valued and it wasn’t numbers. Thank you by the way because I was aching to listen to “Ready for it” on repeat for about a year at this point. Not only that! But she released her 2 hour Reputation Tour documentary on Netflix that year and now I was upset that I let my emotions get the best of me because it looked like such a fun tour to be a part of.

2019, wasn’t too eventful from what I can remember. Well, with the exception of Taylor fighting for the rights to her music which by the way, what the hell is up with that? Just give her work back! Still I hoped that regardless of that her and her boo Joe Alwyn were doing well. I personally loved the story I read somewhere about how he told you he wasn’t giving up that easy or something along those lines. I’m personally a hopeless romantic and like cheesy stuff like that even though I may come across as tough ogre. In the words of Shrek himself, I’m like an onion. I’ve got layers.

So now we’ve finally reached present year 2020, a whole 4 years since I got irrationally upset with a person I’ve never met before except through her work. It’s 6 days before my 33rd bday and the Miss Americana documentary is released on Netflix. I felt angry once again but this time at myself. I was upset with this artist I had admired for so long who had helped me mend wounds and collect broken heart pieces. All while she was dealing with her own family issues, her breakups, sexual abuse, body image issues, scandal, and finding the strength to voice her political opinions. I really had the nerve to be upset? I’ll admit another thing on here at the risk of someone I know reading this and thinking I’m overdramatic for doing so but I cried. I genuinely felt terrible. How she’s been able to keep such a strong and wise head on those shoulders after everything that’s been thrown at her is admirable. I can only dream of being that damn strong and I find refuge in the fact that while everything may not be perfect in her life at least she has a good support system whether that be in the shape of her parents, her brother, her boyfriend, or her friends (yes, that includes fans.)

Anyway, I wrote all of that to show you guys that while we’ve been in quarantine I’ve found solace in bullet journaling and had added a bunch of my favorite Taylor Swift lyrics from the last 4 albums she’s released. It helped me let go of a lot of old thoughts and emotions to rewrite them myself. Your music, your words, and your values have helped me and so many others so much Taylor. I know it’s selfish to ask but please keep writing even when you get married or when you have kids and they need their diaper changed (shoot I’ll babysit if you need me to) or til you get old lady fingers and they’re all spotty and wrinkly. I’ll even send cookies as a thank you. If you’ve read this far I hope Ive made you laugh even a little. Stay, stay, stay, safe and quarantined guys :)