sabrina-sivan-mendes

[kidrunaway]

I don't want to praise David cage for the shit I'm about to say and I'm not sure whether it's intentional or not but I forgot to mention something about Markus. a lot of people don't pay any attention to music in this game and it drives me insane. Music is so important in video games I learned this from little nightmares. When playing the piano as a machine you're given the option to play different things. He plays it for quite some time until Carl comes around and disturbs him. On the roof top scene however, you don't have that option, and the melody just sounds really dark, desperately trying to look for hope, until he stops playing it. You wouldn't just play a tune like that on a chill roof top. Anyone would probably play something nice and relaxing but Markus just let's his frustration out and the music shows it.

That's already sort of a sign that he's just. Not doing well. Even when being with things he enjoys doing.

I noticed that when he's a machine he plays it for a longer amount of time and on the roof top he doesn't. I was surprised as to how quick the player was to stop. Sure maybe the developers wanted to just speed up the process, but then why add the piano in the first place? I mean he could just be on the roof top reading a book until north comes around. So the piano does have a purpose. It shows his emotions clearly. Theres also the option to pick up a mirror to stare at himself and what hes become. So that scene is truly all about emotions.

[twstgarden]

❀ ❝ 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗼-𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿 ❞

━ actor! dorm leaders (minus kalim) x fem! actor! reader (reader can either be yuu or an oc/twstsona) ━ as a well-known performer, you have worked with several actors and actresses in several movies and series, but your relationship with them was always professional and platonic. however, one actor made you feel butterflies while you were shooting a scene with them. (f/n means first name)

do not steal or translate without my permission.

— 𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨 —

today's news: riddle rosehearts and f/n l/n to star together in the newest lawyer romance film — will they be our new on-screen love interests?

co-starring with riddle rosehearts in this new legal drama film was not what you expected this year. yes, you have worked alongside this actor in several shows, one of them being a tv series inspired by a mobile game called twisted wonderland.

you weren't typically known as a performer in legal drama films, but it isn't so bad to expand your repertoire, no?

so here you were in the movie studio, seated politely as the hair and make-up artists started touching you up for your next scene. riddle was seated as well; his own hair and make-up artists were touching him up while he rehearsed his lines under his breath.

riddle rosehearts was the diligent, serious type of actor. come to think of it, he does have similarities with the character he plays in twisted wonderland, but he does know how to have fun from time to time.

like his role in twisted wonderland, riddle also loves hedgehogs, and he would sometimes scold another co-star, ace trappola, if he messes around the studio too much and disrupt the shooting sessions.

however, now, he was the only actor from twisted wonderland in this set — aside from you, of course.

"alright, picture is up!"

the voice of the assistant director caught both of your attention as you thanked the hair and make-up artists before approaching the movie set. you stood in your position and did some soft breathing exercises to help calm your nerves a little bit before the scene started.

you were playing the role of a lawyer fresh out of law school, while riddle also plays the role of a lawyer but is your character's senior. that said, riddle's character is the youngest top lawyer in the law firm and this specific scene you were shooting is when your character tries to take riddle's character out to relax after overworking so much in the firm.

"action!"

and with that, the two of you were in character. your character's desk was next to riddle's as you sat on your chair. you turned to face riddle as you spoke, "hey, mister rosehearts... do you always stay in the firm overtime?"

"yes."

what a curt answer, but ah, it was part of the script.

"do you ever leave the firm?" you asked with a raised brow, looking at the clock prop and seeing that there are 15 minutes before you could clock out. "it's not like i live here," responded riddle, "but yes, i do tend to stay late in the office especially when there are plenty of cases i need to handle."

"woah~ you're really amazing, mister rosehearts. no wonder you're the top lawyer in this firm," you responded, leaning back on your chair as you looked at your co-star while he typed random things on the computer before him to pretend his character was working.

"but..." you trailed off as you moved closer to him with the use of your rolling chair. once you were beside riddle, you spoke your next line, "being the best lawyer in this firm doesn't mean you have to overwork yourself. how about i take you to a patisserie so you could unwind and relax? take your mind off work, sir!"

riddle then looked at you with a serious expression, but you can tell that his character was conveying both disbelief at your character for suggesting such a thing and curiosity about your character's actions. this junior wish to make their senior live life outside of the four corners of the law firm?

"...miss l/n, don't you have any cases to work on?"

"i've revised them already, and we have..." you looked up at the clock prop, "10 minutes before we clock out. come onnn, it'll be fun!" riddle sighed and shrugged as he placed both arms on the armrest, "just this once."

"cut!"

the assistant director's voice made you and riddle sigh softly as you broke character for a bit. the director then held the megaphone as he spoke, "that was great, you two. however, i'd like for you to repeat the last portion, starting from the line, "don't you have any cases to work on?", alright?"

"yes, director," responded riddle as he let out a heavy breath to calm himself. you smiled at him and patted his shoulder, "you got this, riddle." the red-haired male smiled at you as he nodded, "yes, thank you, f/n."

"ready? action!"

"miss l/n, don't you have any cases to work on?" riddle asked in a stern tone as he looked at your character with a bored expression. you frowned a little as you spoke, "i've revised them already, mister rosehearts! and besides, we have around 10 minutes before we clock out... come on~ it'll be fun!"

riddle continued typing on the keyboard, but you could see the computer was turned off. luckily, that wasn't seen on camera. riddle sighed and leaned back on his office chair, placing his arms on the armrest as he looked at you with that same bored expression.

"fine. just this once."

"annnnd cut! that was perfect! alright, moving on!" spoke the director as you and riddle stood up, your hair and make-up artists approaching you and working on touching up your appearance while the crew worked on changing the scenery of the movie set.

during all these preparations for the next scene, you sat beside riddle and looked at the script on his hands while he kept rehearsing his lines under his breath. since it would take a while before your next shot, you spoke to him, "hey, how about i help you?"

riddle glanced at you and handed his script with a smile, "sure, no problem. thank you, f/n..." you nodded with a smile and held his script as you started rehearsing with him, "alright, i'll start with my line and we can go from there... ahem... mister rosehearts, isn't this patisserie wonderful? there are plenty of delicious treats in here!"

"indeed. you are quite fond of them, miss l/n," spoke riddle as you gave him a thumbs up to indicate he perfectly said his line.

"mhm! they're amazing...! then, our characters take a seat, drink on some beverages, though i'm quite sure they'll just hand us water with some food colouring..." you commented, which earned a chuckle from riddle, "then it'll be your line!"

"right, uh... miss l/n, how do you like being a lawyer so far?"

"mister rosehearts, we're here so we can relax, not think of work, you know? but i would say i enjoy it... it is quite stressful, yes, but the satisfaction we get at the end of the cases that went well feels rewarding..." you responded, holding the script and eyeing it intently.

"i see... that makes sense. if you ever feel overwhelmed, you can always ask me for a helping hand. you're a diligent and honest person and i see a lot of potential in you... you're making us proud."

ah.

it's just a line from the script. it's just a line from the script.

you're a professional performer. you shouldn't mix these lines up with reality.

but... the way riddle said it gave you butterflies. you cleared your throat to try and brush off your slightly flustered state, nodding to indicate that he said his line right.

due to your flustered state, you did not notice the way riddle smiled at you. there was a hint of adoration and fondness in his eyes that went unnoticed by you, it was as if he was speaking as both his character and himself.

"alright, uh... thank you, mister rosehearts."

you smiled at riddle and handed back the script to him as he thanked you. feeling his hand brush against yours as he grabbed the script made you feel butterflies again. what was going on?

well, whatever it was, you tried to best to ignore it.

and even if riddle had not noticed your flustered state, other people have.

"riddle rosehearts and f/n l/n to star in the newest lawyer romance film, on-screen love interests or off-screen sweethearts?" mumbled the production assistant to the executive producer as they both giggled amongst themselves.

— 𝙡𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙖 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙧 —

distinguished guests of tonight's show! here we have one of the world-famous celebrity couples in set joining us today! let's welcome leona kingscholar and f/n l/n!

the production phase of the sports film that you and leona co-starred in had just finished and you two were now attending talk shows and interviews to talk about the movie, your lives, and so on. on this specific night, you and leona were invited as guests to the popular late-night talk show called the diamond night show.

the host? it's one of your co-stars in the mobile game-inspired series called twisted wonderland, cater diamond.

"hello, everyone! welcome to the diamond night show!"

as soon as cater spoke, the crowd went wild. he had a lively audience despite running this show at around midnight. cater always had this charm on him that just energizes people.

"we have two very special guests tonight, i'm sure you all would be totes hyped as i am to see them! let's welcome... the celebrity couple that made us believe love is still in the air tonight... leona kingscholar and f/n l/n!!!"

and again, the crowd went wild, but this was both of your cues to enter the scene. you and leona went up on the stage and waved to the crowd as you sat on the couch beside cater's desk. the orange-haired fellow smiled at the sight of you and leona as he spoke, "leona, f/n! hey, it's been a while!"

you greeted cater with a friendly smile, "cay-kun! how have you been? wow, a late-night talk show, huh?"

leona merely gave cater a nod as he spoke, "been a while."

you and cater chuckled as the orange-haired host replied, "it has been a while since twisted wonderland ended its series, so i found the time to start my own late-night talk show! it's been fun having the rest of our co-stars here from time to time. anyway, enough about that, how are things with you two?"

"uhh... well, well... we've been well..." you and leona replied in unison as the crowd laughed a bit.

"wow~ you two have this chemistry that is noticeable even when we were filming twisted wonderland way back then!" commented cater as the crowd went wild.

"if it was that obvious back then, i guess i can see why f/n and i are considered to be an on-screen couple," spoke leona as you laughed softly. "i remember when we had to retake a lot of scenes because i couldn't stop laughing at leona," you added, which made cater laugh.

"because i wasn't used to seeing him so grumpy all the time!" you spoke in a lighthearted tone while laughing, "but i can also see that his character in twisted wonderland has similarities to who he is as a person."

"you have similarities with your character, too," replied leona as he snickered.

"anyway, congratulations to you two for the success of your latest movie!" cheered cater as the crowd went wild again. you and leona smiled and thanked them as you spoke first, "ah, yes... it was fun to film this movie, everyone was so nice and they're all working hard. i'm happy to know that the movie was a success."

"i'd say that aside from twisted wonderland, shooting this movie was one of the best experiences i had," added leona as cater nodded. "i heard the crew and the cast were having a great time during the making of this movie, although it can be stressful at times."

"yes, yes, well... i'm sure every making of the movie has its stressful times, so that wouldn't be a surprise, but i'd say the lighthearted moments were really the most memorable ones," you replied.

"before we dig deeper into that, i, along with the rest of the crowd and the people watching back home, want to know... are you two actually a couple?" cater spoke as his voice went gradually a softer tone as he asked that question. the crowd yelled and cheered about how they were curious to know the truth, which made you and leona glance at one another with a smile.

you then looked at cater and nodded, responding nonchalantly as if it wasn't a big deal, "yeah, we are."

and again, the crowd went wild, but even louder than earlier.

"woah, since when?! what made you realize you liked each other?" asked cater as he now grew curious. "it realized i got a crush on leona during our filming session of twisted wonderland's second season... but i was too shy to admit it."

"and i realized i got a crush on them during the filming session of twisted wonderland's pilot episode..." added leona as you looked at him with a smile.

"ah, the pilot episode that was never released?" asked cater, which made you and leona nod.

...

"okay, picture's up! we're recording in 3..." spoke the assistant director as you and leona stood in your respective positions. once the camera and audio were recording, you started to get into character. grim, who was just a plushie edited by cgi, started his line.

"hey, take a look at this! it looks like there are tons of fruits in here! they smell so good!" spoke grim's voice actor as you started to walk down the botanical garden, intentionally stepping on what seemed to be leona's tail.

"ow!" shrieked leona as he hissed and glared at you and the grim plushie, "hey. you've got guts stepping on someone's tail without apologizing." grim then replied, "are you the guy tending to this place? you look scary..."

leona clicked his tongue in annoyance as he mumbled, "I went here thinking i can take a nice nap, but my tail gets stepped on. this is the worst." you scoffed to yourself and looked away, mumbling softly, "it's your fault for sticking your tail out on the path in the first place..."

leona raised a brow at your words, eyeing you up and down as he remarked, "ah, i saw you at the entrance ceremony." he then leaned out next to your ear as he sniffed your scent, making you freeze on the spot as instructed in the script.

however, the proximity was suddenly making your heart race. you could smell his perfume; his fragrant scent was pleasing, and you liked it. his eyes trailed all over your figure with that small smirk on his face that his character usually uses. you know it's just acting, but you can't deny how attractive he looks.

oh, surely, you weren't falling for your co-star.

"i don't smell a spark of magic in you. i'm not going to pick a fight with a weakling," spoke leona before he turned around and left, just as the script had instructed.

"━cut!"

suddenly, the assistant director's voice echoed loudly throughout the studio while the director sighed. "this doesn't seem right... we'll revise the script. the actors can take a rest for a moment."

once you sat on your chair, you let out a huge sigh which caught cater's attention. he looked at you and tilted his head, "you good, girl? you seem spooked."

you stayed silent for a moment, biting the inside of your cheek as you sighed heavily once more, "i just... feel weird lately." you then dismissed yourself with a smile as you told cater not to worry about it.

...

"ohh! i see, i remember that! haha, i really thought you were sick for a moment, n/n! but you just caught the feels," spoke cater as his words made the crowd laugh a little in response, "it's really a pleasure to see you two again, lovebirds! hehe, we all hope you guys will end up getting married and having adorable little babies!"

the crowd went wild.

and you? flustered. leona chuckled at your reaction as he placed an arm around your shoulder before looking at cater, "you all better look forward to it." once again, the crowd screamed with joy before they started chanting a combination of both your names - a ship name, you could say.

━ 𝙖𝙯𝙪𝙡 𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙤 ━

studio gossip says two certain performers have a chemistry that makes them so perfect for each other! everyone and their pets ship them~

another day of filming, another day of hearing giggles around the studio. you were in the hair and make-up area as the hair stylist started fixing your hair. your other co-stars were busy touching up as well, while the others were revising their lines or drinking some water and doing vocal exercises.

suddenly, the voices of the assistant director and the production assistant caught your attention as they gossiped amongst themselves by the door, which happened to be near where you were seated.

"don't you think our film's male and female lead have good chemistry?" spoke the assistant director as she chuckled while the production assistant nodded with a laugh.

"totally! i have worked in many films, but this year's movie actors totally have great chemistry on-screen or off-screen. i bet they'd be a couple soon," replied the production assistant as you blushed a little upon hearing their words.

you. you were the female lead.

your current project is a corporate-centred film about your character returning to the workforce for the first time after a long break. an adult woman from the lands of the east migrating to the west for career opportunities ends up becoming employed in one of the world's most known corporations, and she happens to land a job as the chief operating officer and works closely with the corporate's ceo.

from what you have read the brief, the film mostly focuses on the struggles of your character and how corporate jobs have the tendency to demand a lot from one person, but it can get rewarding at the end of the day. there were also implied hints of romance, so there's that.

now, it all seemed great until you have been partnered up with one of the industry's well-known businessman and actor, who also happens to be your co-star in a series long ago - azul ashengrotto.

you have been familiar with him. he was your co-star in twisted wonderland, but it has been a few years since you've worked with him after the end of twisted wonderland. though you felt excited at the thought of meeting with an old friend, you also felt nervous at the thought of acting those lovey-dovey scenes with him.

"anyway, we better head back and start filming scene 50." the voice of the assistant director brought you back to reality as the hair stylist smiled at you while looking at your reflection. "you're all set, ma'am!" exclaimed your hair stylist as you smiled and thanked her before heading to the set.

"okay! so, for scene fifty, i'm sure you all know what to do... let's adjust the camera... picture's up!" spoke the assistant director as the cameraman fixed the angle of the camera, "okay... action!"

the set was designed to look like your office as you sat on the executive chair, looking through the papers as if you were working, noticing that the papers on your desk were just random articles that were made for the sake of the prop.

the scene starts with you sighing as you go through the prop documents, supposedly analyzing the reports sent by each department's head and jotting down all the ideas that your character had in mind to set a new policy in the corporation.

the door then opened as azul walked in, making you stand up as you spoke in surprise, "sir, i wasn't expecting you to come to my office... you could have rung me up and i'll head to yours." azul shook his head and smiled at you, remembering all his lines as always. he walked towards you until you were both standing across one another, with only your executive table blocking his path, "how are you liking the job so far?"

your expression shifted to that of surprise as told by the script, "oh, i... like it a lot. i'm adjusting well. thank you for checking in..." azul still had that smile on his face before looking around the room, the glass walls were covered by the roller shades, not allowing anyone to look into your office as it gave you complete privacy.

"now, business is business. i'm sure you know that, l/n..." trailed azul as you nodded, "however, i am reaching out to you right now as an individual, not as your boss." you raised a brow in response before he grabbed an envelope from the inner pocket of his suit and handing it to you.

you then grabbed it and the first thing that caught your attention were the words, 'you are invited'. you looked up at him to see azul still smiling, "there's a party going on this friday, and it's rather for personal reasons. a family member of mine is hosting an engagement party and i was invited. i was told it is a... prom-themed engagement party, perhaps to recreate the first date or so."

"so... you're inviting me?" you asked.

"yes... the invitation indicated that each person could bring a plus one, and i thought of inviting you. i want to get to know you more, l/n, if you'd let me," spoke azul before he leaned forward to bow a little, making you surprised as you had never seen him like that before.

you grew flustered.

this was not part of the script, so you tried to calm yourself, but you knew your flustered state was seen on camera. azul was a little curious about your reaction since he knew your character was only supposed to smile and say yes, but you were full-on blushing.

unbeknownst to you and your co-star, the director and the assistant director looked at one another with knowing smiles.

due to your flustered state, you were a little delayed in your response as you accidentally stuttered your lines out, "i-i... um... s-sure! yes, i'll go with you, then... ah! i'm so sorry!"

you covered your red face as giggles erupted from the room as the cameraman paused the recording. azul laughed as well before looking at the director, "i think she's falling in love, director!"

"the way you say it really made me flustered!" you exclaimed with a smile and a dark blush as you grew embarrassed. the assistant director and the director looked at each other once more before the latter spoke, "i see a new relationship blooming~ they'd totally grab the headlines."

━ 𝙫𝙞𝙡 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙣𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙩 ━

this just in, actor and model vil schoenheit to star in the upcoming romance film with twisted wonderland co-star and rumoured partner, f/n l/n.

the news of your new project with vil has been spreading like wildfire. of course, you remained professional and did not care about the circulating rumours about you two dating and whatnot, you had a career to focus on and so did he.

filming the romance film was as sensational as it has always been. it was pleasant to work with vil, his level of professionalism and his acting skills always made you admire him. how can a man so beautiful be so talented as well? he’s like a perfect package, at least, to you and to his fans.

you were currently taking interviews with vil at the red carpet right after the evening award show. you have been surrounded by paparazzi and newscasters, wanting to get even a slice of the news and report it to the public.

“f/n! vil! what can you say about your upcoming film?!” spoke one of the newscasters as they held the mic towards you two. you and vil gave them a smile as you spoke kindly, “all i can say is it is something to look forward to. vil and i have both expressed our enthusiasm in the release of ‘a love untold’, and… it will make you cry; it will make you swoon, and it will help you realise how lucky you are to have someone loving you unconditionally.”

“similar to miss f/n’s statement, i can attest that a love untold is something you all can look forward to. we have done our very best and gave our all in the filming and production of this movie,” added vil as the others in the crowd started screaming and swooning.

soon, the release of your movie was made public and you were in your home, reading to relax for the evening until you heard two of your property caretakers squealing in the kitchen. you stood up from the couch and walked towards the direction of your squealing caretakers and noticed they were watching your film through their device whilst chopping some vegetables for dinner.

the current scene playing on their device made you pause a bit as you watched by the door.

…

“if you’re tired, then rest and let me handle everything. if you’re tired of carrying the burdens, then lean on me for support. i’m always ready to support you with open arms and you know that,” spoke vil as he was in-character.

your teary expression flashed by the screen as it started raining. the setting was the streets on a rainy night right outside your character’s house. vil wrapped his arms around you as you continued to sob your lines out for dramatic effect.

“i’m sorry,” you sobbed, “it’s just that my parents– “

“your parents do not know how many nights you spent crying because you think you’re not good enough. it’s time to set boundaries … i can’t let you do this to yourself any longer,” whispered vil as he caressed your hair and held you in an embrace, not caring if he was drenched in the rain – which was actually regular water pouring through a garden watering pot.  

you then looked up to meet his gaze as he wiped your tears away, smiling softly at you.

…

you smiled to yourself as you watched the scene. you had enjoyed filming that part, albeit there was a lot of giggles right after the scene was cut due to you and vil getting drenched, as well as a blooper scene where the water in the pot ran out in the middle of a dramatic scene.

that scene made you think about your relationship with vil. he was always there for you ever since you started your journey in show business, and he was always supportive of your goals and ambitions.

deciding to give him some appreciation, you walked away from the kitchen door and back into the lounge as you grabbed your phone and sent vil a quick text.

‘darling, if i have not said this enough, i love you and i appreciate you.’

it was true that you and vil were dating. none of you denied the allegations, after all.

━ 𝙞𝙙��𝙖 𝙨𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙙 ━

this is your daily dose of celebrity gossip! idia shroud and f/n l/n have been spotted together in the game fest yesterday! dating rumours have spiked after photo evidence of the two together has been leaked to the media.

‘n/n’

‘n/n’

‘n/n’

‘f/n’

‘f/n l/n’

the continuous beeping notifications of your device woke you up from your slumber as you groaned and grabbed it, wondering what was so urgent at 6 in a saturday morning. you unlocked your phone to see several messages from idia, a fellow actor and your previous co-star in the series twisted wonderland.

all his messages were mostly your nickname and your name, as well as a few messages saying, ‘wake up’ and ‘we’re trending!!!’. you raised a brow and replied to his messages, asking him what was going on, that it was so early in the morning, and if he ever slept at all.

he then sent you a link to a social media post that had a video of the entertainment news featuring you and idia. what made your eyes widen was the picture shown. it was a photo of you and idia dressed in casualwear, smiling at one another with a bunch of giant plushies in hand.

it was a photo from yesterday. you two were completely unaware that people recognized you and took photos of you both.

…

“look! there’s a virtual reality corner over there!” you exclaimed, excitement laced in your tone as you tugged on idia’s arm and pointed at the vr gaming area. he quickly looked at the direction you’re pointing at. the sunglasses you both wore made everything seem tinted, but you did not mind as it is necessary to hide your identity.

the last thing you wanted was people to recognize you both and spread rumours.

you and idia were here as mere individuals, not as an actress and actor, not as superstars. you wanted to enjoy your night after shooting some scenes in the morning, and the game festival was the perfect place for you and idia to wind down and have fun.

you two had the night of your lives, enjoying yourselves to the fullest in the gaming festival.

perhaps, you two enjoyed too much that you did not realise someone snuck a picture of the two of you as soon as your hoods fell and revealed both of your hair tied into a ponytail, and idia was very recognizable with that blue hair of his.

…

“oh… my… god…” you mumbled under your breath in shock as you stared at the video playing on your screen. ‘once again, this is your daily dose of celebrity gossip! let’s hope and wait for either one of them to confirm that they are indeed dating!’

those were the last words you heard before the video ended. you still stared in disbelief, not knowing what to do or what to say and you knew your talent manager will immediately start asking you about it once they see this video.

you quickly replied to idia, ‘what do we do?’

‘i don’t know…’ replied idia.

‘should we go public?’ you asked, typing rapidly as you felt your heart beating loudly.

‘we’d get endless interviews,’ responded the man.

you sighed to yourself as you continued texting him until you both came to a conclusion to let the rumours be for a while as it will eventually die out. your managers said the same thing as well, to let the rumours be and it will eventually die out.

it did not.

days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into a year. surely, people aren’t that interested in your love life? you had expected it to die out and people would move on, but no matter how long you told yourself that, the rumours seemed to spike even more.

eventually, you and idia came out to the public and confirmed the dating rumours going around and, much to idia’s discomfort, several interviews have piled up one after the other, completely interested in knowing the timeline of your relationship and whatnot.

‘ladies and gentlemen, it has been confirmed by the couple themselves that they are indeed a pair! f/n l/n and idia shroud have made their confirmation to the public during the wonderland award show!’

━ 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙪𝙨 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙖 ━

sensational sparks: malleus draconia and f/n l/n set to ignite screens in anticipated romance film.

working with the renowned malleus draconia felt like an honour – to you, at least. he was well-known throughout the industry as a charmingly mysterious and talented actor, not uttering a lot about himself but is known to be respectful to everyone he meets.

starring with him in twisted wonderland was great. his character in the series is quite like his real personality that you couldn’t help but think he was not acting at all. years have passed since twisted wonderland ended and you two had pursued your own paths in acting, taking up different genres of projects to play in to discover yourself.

you had not expected your fates to cross again, and you were a little shy to establish a connection with him that runs deeper than an acquaintance or a co-worker, so you were left to accept that you’d probably just admire him from afar.

however, it seems fate was playing cards and luck was on your side. you had accepted a new project wherein you play the female lead in a historical romance movie. according to the script sent to you, the movie was set in the late 1800s and your character was a princess from another kingdom who was betrothed to the crown prince and the story tackles their romantic adventure and how they learn to love each other unconditionally.

pretty much like a regular romance movie with a twist of history, you did not mind, and you’d gladly play the part of a princess even if it was just for a movie.

you did not think much of it until you were told by the director that the leading man – the man playing the role of the prince – was malleus draconia himself. you could not respond for a few seconds due to shock, which worried the director, but you reassured him everything is alright, and you’d gladly work with him.

upon arriving at the set, you greeted malleus with a smile, and he gave you a polite one in return. filming the first scene was great and no mistakes were made. you had everything under control, or so you hoped.

once the first romance scene came, you tried to keep clam as you stood by the desk as malleus approached you, his tall figure towering over you as he spoke in a deep tone, “…if you have any qualms about marrying me, speak now.”

“what…?” you spoke, memorizing your lines.

“once you sign the marriage contract, there is no going back. i want to make sure both of our kingdoms will be in a stable condition, so i want to prevent any case of annulment or divorce. if you have any doubts, now is your chance to back out and we can both pretend this transaction never existed,” replied malleus as he spoke out his lines word for word all to a tee.

‘he’s so incredible… his eyes look lovely up close… his eyelashes are pretty long, too… ah, wait… my line!’

“u-um… i have no doubts. i’ll marry you.”

it was not your intention to stutter as you spoke your lines, but the director did not seem to mind it as he let the scene continue. you two continued to shoot the other scenes and you had one last scene to film for the day before you could go back to your home to rest then come back again the next day for the next filming session.

“okay, this is the last scene for the day. picture’s up! annnd… action!” spoke the assistant director as the camera started rolling and you and malleus immediately went into character.

malleus wrapped his arms around your waist as he held you close. your cheeks were red but you tried to tone down your flustered state as he whispered, “shall we?” you nodded as he held your hand and started dancing with you. the current setting of the scene was in a ballroom and you were dolled up in a ballgown, dancing around the set with malleus as music played through the speakers.

at the moment, it seemed like everything else did not matter. you forgot that you were acting out a scene, you forgot that you were an actress, you forgot that you were merely playing a role with malleus in this movie. all you could see was the way his eyes scanned your figure as he held your hand in a tight but not painful manner, as he settled his hand on your waist and eventually moved them across your back to pull you closer to him.

your feet moved on their own as you danced across the ballroom studio with malleus, looking deep into his eyes. time stood still and all you knew was the handsome man in front of you, dressed in a princely attire and holding you close to him.

it seemed even he noticed your trance and smirked a little as he whispered, “did i take your breath away?”

you snapped out of your thoughts, wondering why he said that when it wasn’t a part of the script, but you did not care. you gave him a bashful smile as your cheeks went rosy once more, “you could say that…”

once the music stopped, his touch immediately parted away from your skin, making you frown a little, but you did not want to make it obvious. you two gave each other a respectful bow and the director immediately cut the scene.

you sighed in relief and smiled at malleus, thanking him for the wonderful performance and complimenting his acting. “you did great today…” you spoke, albeit still a little bashful. malleus smiled and thanked you for your kindness before returning the same compliment, “thank you. you were as wonderful as you have always been, miss f/n.”

meanwhile, the director and the assistant director glanced at one another with knowing smiles before looking back at the cameraman, giving them a thumbs-up as if to confirm that the camera was still rolling and intended to include the tape in the behind-the-scenes.

© twstgarden 2023 || please do not steal, translate without my permission, or use this to train a.i.

[electronickingdomfox]

"The Entropy Effect" review

Novel from 1981, by Vonda N. McIntyre (same author of the novelizations for the Star Trek movies II, III and IV). This is also the first TOS novel of the Pocket Book line, not counting the novelization for TMP. Even though the Bantam books have some nice stories (in particular, those by the Haldeman brothers are pretty decent), they all seem more like episodes of the series. This is the first time I had the impression of reading a proper novel, and the leap in quality is evident. I really, really liked this novel. It's also veeeery sad; it even made me shed some tears. Of course the reader knows this is Star Trek, and everything will turn out fine in the end, but the sense of despair the author conveys is quite effective nonetheless.

The characters are given much depth, and even the bunch of new additions receive proper attention, and their own side-stories and aspirations. The relations between the triumvirate are pretty much flawless (with echoes from "The Tholian Web"; Spock and McCoy are the real protagonists here). And surprisingly, Sulu has his own subplot and a romance story.

I can't really think of many downsides. Maybe it's a bit slow at the beginning, specially since it needs to introduce the new cast. But as I found the original characters interesting and likeable, it wasn't a major issue for me. Also, the story involves time-travel, so expect the usual head-scratching moments. Though as far as I noticed, there were no plot holes.

Some spoilers below the cut:

Spock is investigating an unusual black hole, and his observations make him reach the disturbing conclusion that entropy is rapidly accelerating, and the universe may have little more than 100 years to disappear. He's about to confirm his suspicions, when the Enterprise is suddenly diverted to the Aleph Prime station by a maximum priority message, so Spock has to leave his work half-finished.

In the station, they're greeted by prosecutor Ian Braithewaite, who is confused at first, since he didn't send any urgent message. Nonetheless, he had asked for a ship to help him bring a prisoner to a rehabilitation colony, so Kirk accepts, once he learns the identity of such prisoner. He's an old physics professor of Spock: George Mordreaux, and Spock is sure he can prove his mentor's innocence, for the charges of murder and unethical experimentation. But when he tries to learn more about the case, he finds all info and details have been erased, so there's something definitely fishy about it all. In the station, Kirk also reunites with Captain Hunter, an old girlfriend, and has serious doubts about his decision to break up with her. He even considers the option of leaving the Enterprise and giving another chance at their relationship. For his part, Sulu has fallen in love with the new security chief: Mandala Flynn. But leaves her, and the Enterprise, to join Hunter's crew, in the hope that this will further his career.

Thus the Enterprise, minus Sulu, starts the trip to the rehab colony, with Modreaux and Braithewaite aboard. Spock insists the professor isn't dangerous, and places minimal security on him. Everything goes awry when the professor appears inexplicably on the bridge, and shoots Kirk and Mandala with a spiderweb gun. This spiderweb has really gruesome effects: it creates some sort of metallic web inside a body, which expands quickly through all organs, even covering the eyes. However, Mordreaux doesn't seem to have left his cell at all, and no intruder or imposter is found aboard. Soon thereafter, Mandala is dead. While McCoy completely breaks down, and insists on keeping Kirk artificially "alive" through machines (though deep down, he knows Kirk is dead for real). In the end, Spock convinces McCoy to disconnect the machines. And there's a gut-wrenching scene, in clinical detail, where McCoy starts turning off all the life systems on him.

After Kirk's death, Spock and McCoy are left in a similar situation as in "The Tholian Web". Though in the episode Kirk had simply disappeared, so there was still hope. Here things are far more depressing. McCoy can't accept Kirk's death, and pressures Spock to try time-travel to save him. Spock refuses to play like that with the space-time continuum. However, while interrogating the professor in his cell, Spock learns that the real reason he's convicted, is because he's been tampering with time travel through a new device. This disruption may be behind the entropy effects Spock had previously discovered. And it's also behind the murder of Kirk, at the hands of a future, insane version of Mordreaux. Since all these events are the results of time alterations, Spock needs, in fact, to travel back in time, and restore things to their original order.

With the help of the (still sane) professor, Spock initiates a series of failed attempts at fixing things in the past. While gradually deteriorating through each time travel. And McCoy has a hard time, being left in charge of the ship and covering up for Spock (they can't tell anyone else about the device, in fear of being arrested for it, just as Mordreaux). Meanwhile, Braithewaite is being a pain in the ass, and gets paranoid about Spock and McCoy having conspired to murder Kirk. He even manages to make Scotty suspicious of them, so things get even more complicated.

In summary, the stakes are pretty high, and the story gets really exciting (and sometimes frustrating for poor Spock and McCoy).

McSpirk Meter: 10/10. I usually only rate the Kirk/Spock material, since is far more common, and ranges wildly from one novel to another (with some of them being borderline slash). But in this occasion is impossible to separate the members of the triumvirate, as the love goes in all three directions.

For starters, there's Spock casting aside all his reservations about hand touching, when Kirk is shot with the spiderweb (maybe this is the first time it's explicitly stated that Vulcans avoid touching hands?). He tries to mind-meld with Kirk while he's dying, perhaps to die himself instead, but Kirk pushes him away to save him.

Then there's the absolutely devastating effect that Kirk's death has on McCoy. He gets totally drunk, breaks down among sobs, and finally passes out. Spock carries him in his arms and puts him to bed; then keeps watch while he sleeps. Later, McCoy starts crying again while viewing Kirk's last will. But once he learns it's possible to bring him back, he's all sunshine once more. Still, the mere reliving of his death is enough to bring him to tears, even while on the bridge. McCoy's pain for losing Kirk is also compared to that of Hunter (who was Kirk's lover), and Sulu's grief for Mandala (also a lover). When Hunter asks McCoy what he has to gain by helping Spock in his mysterious plans, he answers "everything".

Spock deals with the loss of his Captain in a far more subdued, Vulcan way, but it's evident he's falling apart too. He doesn't want to stay in the Enterprise anymore, and once he completes his duties aboard, he's probably going to leave Starfleet altogether.

McCoy has also some tender moments with Spock while treating his wounds, and choosing civilian clothes for him (which he says that enhance Spock's eyes).

Once everything's been solved, Spock lies in bed while recovering, and Kirk and McCoy take turns watching him. Only Spock remembers the events of the altered timeline (for everyone else it feels just like a nightmare). And Spock's reaction upon waking up and seeing Kirk alive has to be read to believe it. Let's say, a mixture of "this simple feeling", and his smile at the end of "Amok Time".

[loveislandthegame]

thoughts on today's volume! first off, let me say i really, realllllly hope that the next season doesn't have horrible couples acting like children at the finale 😭 hazel & hari were ruining the vibe . i gave FB props for not making her a villain, but i'm rescinding that now because they made both her and hari look absolutely ridiculous. it's astounding how much they manage to ruin their own characters. now let's get into the rest of it

FB you better be joking ! i've lost count of how many times they've used this box. at this point the feather is crusty, the silk is shattering, the massage lotion got bacteria in it, the whipped cream can is squirting out straight up nitrous oxide, etc.

i don't know what's more horrendous , the glitched massage oil overlay or this dress . what in the penny, nickel, dime is this ??

when i picked castle ruins for the final date i was envisioning like, a cute grassy hill with rocks scattered around, overlooking the sea . cute romantic vibes ... only for that shit to end up being a brick wall 😭 it's still a cute background though, and the date was nice

FB, where's my damn suit ! (i know i'm probably the only person that wants one but like, even the queen herself, s2 MC, had a suit option at prom) i ended up going with the black dress, which was a good shout because it actually looks really good with claudia . we're giving sun and moon 🌚🌞 <3

of course we won, but with the way this season's been going i wouldn't have been surprised if we somehow had a tie with sienna (i know it's not possible though because she gets dumped if you aren't wlw. if you're wondering about the ranking it was 4th: hazel/hari 3rd: sienna/kyle 2nd: bea/theo)

before going outside MC had a conversation with claudia's mother, and i loved this. minus the land part, this is the kinda shit i'd want as gifts IRL

when i tell you i groaned out loud when i saw who the VIP guest was. also, during the recap of our villa journey i have no clue why he was acting like i chose to be with jin in the recoupling prior the final one, did FB forget it was boy's choice ? (the AI is AI-ing girl...)

spin the block...? You can’t be talking like that White Baby

FB really screwed over the people who were romancing finn, i'm actually gagged . granted i think you're a bit delulu if you picked love instead of money with anybody besides lulu , but finn actually was an LI option. this is worse than hamish getting with ivy, i genuinely wanna know wtf were they thinking

the diamond scene with finn was the least robotic conversation this whole season, perhaps the misogynistic creeps that wrote season 5 came back to write that pile of bullshit. don't bother buying it. if you really wanna know: finn got back with kat, they tried to have an open relationship and it flopped

is he an option to run away with or what? i don't know because i slammed the tf out of the "i'm in a relationship" option 👹

love or money time, and i picked love of course ! i would say we walked off into the sunset but it's already night time

next week's volume is gonna be a reunion and ... ugh 😐 respectfully, they should've just pulled the plug here . at this point the only other islanders i care about are bea & theo, but after the final recoupling they pretty much became nonexistent (and knowing FB, this reunion is probably gonna be dedicated to helping one of these wack ass couples fix their relationship drama ...)

[afreakingdork]

Weak Spot - Chapter 33

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Intercrural Sex, Bondage, Feral Behavior, Feral Donatello (TMNT), Mating Cycles/In Heat

Synopsis:  A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?

Huge shout-out this chapter to @shiftandshade because I literally stole the sleepy wake-up scene straight out of their head (it's so good, I did not do it justice) and also for freaking hitting me with good good turtle anatomy lessons! Also @8pmblackcoffee for encouraging more marathon! I hope this one is okay... it uh... got away from me as you'll see in one moment AND OF COURSE HOW COULD I FORGET (I totally did) @some-guy-named-dominyk for many many many moons ago helping me soften up what was originally a much more violent chapter. They really helped directed me to what ends up happening (minus again some... uh.. yeah)

Fem!Reader References/Warnings Below Cut

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS AN ACUTE NON-CONSENSUAL SCENE. THIS IS NOT A NORM FOR THIS FIC. PLEASE KEEP YOURSELF SAFE!

Last warning for the 🍋 under the cut. Minors DNI!

Fem!Reader References/Warnings: taking bra off sentence, some light technical genitalia wordings, self-pussy examination, lubing up the labia, clit mentions, and a boob grab

Donnie had been… odd, to say the least.

It hadn’t been anything exact, but he was… different.

You first noticed it when you were doing some dishes. He’d originally stayed behind on the couch, scrolling on his phone. This was your chore and you never minded much. Setting clean glasses aside to dry later, you suddenly felt a presence behind you. Moving slowly, you turned to find him simply leaning on a nearby counter. Hands sudsy, you’d asked him what he was up to. He didn’t look up from his phone as he regaled you in a series of studies he was comparing. That not being how you meant it, you pressed only for him to finally tear his eyes from his screen. It was there you’d seen the flash; the loss of comprehension.

He hadn’t realized he’d moved.

Brows furrowed, he looked around the kitchen as if that wasn’t part of his natural environment. His body then lurched and in a mild haze he mechanically worked his way back to the couch. He’d seemed put out enough that you let him be in a verbal sense. Exchanging words for a vigil, you kept a closer eye on him. It was in the next week you started to notice just how close he started to loom.

His affections were something you never took for granted and, even having moved in together, weren’t always overt. Days where touch was out of the question still existed, but it was clear quality time was one of his love languages. It often constituted simply sharing a room, but that didn’t make it any less. The oddity came with his proximity. Where you usually occupied your own sides of the couch, he’d started to encroach on the center. When you’d get up to grab something, he’d begun to move to follow. Even if it was something as simple as crossing the room, his body would animate to give yours chase. You hadn’t minded. It was honestly sort of cute at first, but it was his reaction that had your worries increasing.

He never noticed.

His hovering was something that happened without conscious thought. More often than not you’d been the one to point it out and, as soon as the glass broke, Donnie would succumb to a moment akin to terror. He prided himself on his mind and it was clear that each time it betrayed him, he’d short circuit. With it happening more and more frequently, you saw a frustration akin to the beginning of your relationship. He was distressed, but even more concerning.

He’d forget.

Each revelation came with its own erasure. No matter how many times he’d come to notice his loitering, there was an equal amount where the information simply fell out of his head. With each event getting closer together, you’d gotten up to noting it three times in a single hour. The momentary alarm he exhibited disappeared into a fog that was enclosing around him.

It was around then that he started staring.

Something you thought you were used to, the way he watched you was unsettling. Instead of an eye picking up details, what tracked you were enlarged pupils that sought nothing. Less scary and more ominous, his deadened watch made your skin crawl. The sight of you going doubly unseen by him was haunting. It’s not like you always expected to have his attention, but this purgatory of having it without cognizance was like being followed by a shadow not your own.

Getting ready for work that morning, you hadn’t had as much time to address it as you would have liked. The mixture of his strangeness was hitting critical levels, but the weekend was still a few days away. You had vacation and sick days, but you were hoping to use them for something else. Taking a momentary lapse in your routine, you moved over to the computer with him glued to your side. Using his medical codes, you brought up his monitors and found there wasn’t a single anomaly. You turned to ask him how he felt, but that lackluster gaze was pinned, unseeing, on your form.

Huffing, you reached out to cradle his face. In the touch, he blinked with a moment of clarity. “I’m worried about you, Don.”

With his sound of confusion, your chest constricted.

His ignorance was always so genuine.

“If I ask you to go get checked out by Nagami today, will you remember?”

His brow further furrowed and, without moving from your touch, his pupils moved to the screens. He took in the detail of the medical charts and returned to you with even more confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“Me neither…” You watched him with hopeless sadness and tried not to succumb to it. Releasing him, you felt him move as if searching while you turned back to the computer. In a few swipes you got up an empty window and typed him out a reminder message. “You have work today, right? You’ll see this when you-”

Turning found him gone once again and in his place were haunting onyx pools, seeing without sight.

“Shelly?”

Your tech gauntlet buzzed.

“There’s a note on Don’s computer.” You watched a little icon of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s head appear there. “It’s a big ask, but can you make sure he goes?”

The little icon turned as if reading the message before spinning  back around and a text bubble appeared beside him. ‘What’s going on?’

“I don’t know, but something’s up. It’s… different than when he got sick… It’s hard to explain.”

��That’s… weird?’ You watched the medical windows shuffle as if cards in a digital deck. ‘Huh.’

“Please, Shelly.”

‘Oh, I’ll get him there. Not even a question! I could never refuse a request from you!’

“Is that programming?” Nerves had worn your insecurities. As the question hit the air, you despised the way it sounded.

‘No. It’s because I care.’

Forcing up a smile to make the response permeate, you responded.. “Thanks, Shelly. If you find anything, shoot me a text.”

‘Roger, roger!’

Leaving the computer with your six foot nine shadow, you got through the rest of your morning prep. Given only a few seconds of solitude, it was in slinging a bag over your shoulder that you had a moment of doubt. Pecking Donnie on the cheek and watching him only surface for a moment. You went for the door handle behind your back. It kept the knob out of his gaze as you cracked the entrance and slipped out. Closing it and holding the handle tight, you could feel him grasping it from the other side.

You had to order S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. to keep it shut in order to get away.

The rush of the morning commute set your imagination ablaze. It was in a stomach dropping realization that you connected just how much of your existence was tied to Donnie’s mind. He had full technological control of the apartment. He had any number of plans going at any moment that ensured both your safeties. As much as you always pushed him to let loose, you’d seen his actual strength. Without a measure, there was a slim chance of bodily threat, but that paled in comparison to your next thought.

You didn’t even know who he banked with.

If you were going to take charge for a while, you’d need to get a handle on the expenses. Wondering how much his rent was and if your savings could cover it in the interim, you walked straight into your office building having blanked the entire journey there. Suddenly in your cubicle and still struggling with the mental math, the blessed image of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. came to mind. There was always the chance he had some failsafe installed for this, but there was also that bypass they’d mentioned for your safety.

Hoping that extended to the monetary, your work day was spent in a haze. With your phone on your desk and heart nearly stopping every time it lit up, you were comforted only by the fact that there were no messages from S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. That had to mean at least something went right and your boyfriend had gotten to whatever approximation of doctor Nagami was. Clocking out exactly on time and with faint contingencies in place, you rushed for the elevator. Getting out in the first wave, you felt a little better with the knowledge that you’d have some kind of answer getting home.

Stepping up to the apartment building, you easily entered and headed to your floor. Door in view and relief in sight, you approached and adjusted your bag’s straps. The last vestiges of worry tingled in your fingertips as the knob turned easily. Opening slowly and peering your head in, Donnie was standing at his lit computer. Anxiety melting off of you, you entered casually and set your bag aside. “Hey, you busy?”

“I’m finishing up.”

You nodded in time, digging for your phone which wasn’t in your pocket. Frowning, you patted yourself down and didn’t find it. Grouching, you dropped to search your bag and found it nearly instantly with an annoyed frown. Coming back up, you saw past your device and actually took in details of your boyfriend.

There was something purple and blocky locked around his neck.

It almost looked like a neck brace from the shape of it, but from its texture you weren’t sure what its function was. 

“Did something happen at Nagami’s?”

“I didn’t go.”

“You-?” Tilting your head, you took a step forward. “Donnie.”

“There was no time.” You took in his posture and realized how tight it was. His hands weren’t resting on the table to type. Instead, his palms were actually shoved into the surface with his fingers nearly clawing beyond that. His legs were parted with his knees ever so slightly bent as if he were bearing a huge weight. His shoulders were then tensed high above his shell and pressed to the object around his throat.

“What’s going on?”

“I’ve left a note here.” With a twitch, he nodded his head towards the computer screen where there was what looked like a list. “I don’t know how long I have, but I believe I’ve placed every precaution possible. I considered sending you away, but this is your home. Luxury accommodations have been booked for you if you tire of dealing with me.”

“Tire of you…? What do you mean?” Taking another step, you watched his head turn.

In a slow tilt, his snout raised and he tested the air. Even from across the apartment you could clearly see where his gaze shifted. In a sluggish reflex, his pupils widened and he took on that unfocused look you knew all too well. He then attempted to roll his head, but was trapped by the brace. He was forced to rotate his whole body, but nothing in his expression said he cared. In a careful creep, he began to stalk towards you.

Sensing there was nothing to fear and since he’d been following you around like this for the past couple of weeks anyway, you approached. He crouched as he got closer, but nothing about his posture said he’d pounce. Instead, he seemed like he wanted to be down on your level. Only a step away from meeting, he suddenly darted to the right. You watched him openly as he weaved in his hunch, rounding you like a cautious animal.

“Alright…” He disappeared behind your back only to continue his trek around. You tracked him with a turn of your head. “This is new…?” You offered him a hand and he bobbed around it curiously.

Returning to his start position to round you anew, you glimpsed the computer behind him. There was a new pop-up that looked similar to one you’d seen before.  

The neural link was interrupted.

The accompanied text looked different though, but you were too far to make it out exactly.

“So you are sick?” With purpose this time, you reached out to graze his face in an attempt to gauge his temperature.

As soon as you neared, he darted away as if waiting for something more. When it didn’t come he went right back to circling.

You were at a loss. He had an almost playful quality to him, but he clearly wasn’t interested in normal interaction. “Um…?”

“Y/N!”

“Shelly?!” Blinking, your head shot up as you searched for the source. 

“Coming through the computer! I’ve got speaker access!”

You scanned for that little icon you’d seen this morning. It had been small and nothing looked out of place in the monitors. Trying to take a step, you were stopped when Donnie jumped around you in two large bounds. He blocked your path with a snake-like bob before continuing his rounds. “What is up with you?” You scolded your partner before looking up at the computer. “You got access? How bad is it?”

“We uh....”

“What’s going on?”

“Also… kinda… sort of…”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.!”

“It’s hard to explain! I’m trying!”

You took a deep breath through your nose and blew it out your mouth. “Alright, I am trying really hard not to freak out. Try listing important stuff first?”

“Are you okay? Oh man, we cannot deal with anything else…!”

“I’m fine! I’m worried! Explain!”

“Y-yeah!! Um… Let’s see!” You watched as a dozen screens appeared on the monitors. They then shuffled through until an image of an actual soft shell turtle appeared. “You’re probably most worried… about… Don! He is… fine, by all accounts…” In time a bunch of his medical windows appeared to one side, neatly organized and glowing green with health.

“Like this morning…” You gave a faint nod.

Around you, Donnie was starting to gyrate at the shoulders adding flourish to his movements.

“This morning…” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. quieted before coming back with a volume that clipped in the speakers. “Oh, that’s perfect!!” Again the many windows began to filter except this time they were so fast you couldn’t follow them.

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.! Not trying to rush you, but should I be worried about… this!?” You gestured to Donnie moving in a more erratic fashion by the second.

“I don’t know! I need to clip the video, bare with me while I just…”

Donnie brushed your leg and you nearly jumped.

It caused a slow where blackened orbs attempted to absorb your very being.

“Woah… You look like a dilation procedure gone very wrong…” You balked. 

“Here! Who better to explain then… him!” 

As if on S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. ushered a grand reveal, a huge video of Donnie took up all the screens.

Glancing between it and the actual one that had started back up his circling, you could guess it was from today as he was wearing the same thing.

“Okay…” On-screen Donnie sighed heavily before wiping a hand over his face. “Mark log start date May 17th time 10:12am. I’ve been experiencing …symptoms, unbeknownst to me. I’ve enlisted S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., on call-”

“Heyo!”

Donnie gave a faint sneer. “-to discuss the irregularities and go over potential threats to Y/N.”

“Basically!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. disembodied voice began before it halted. “I take over now, right?”

“Yes.”

“Basically!” The bot repeated with authority and then gave a little titter before resuming his serious nature. “Going over the footage has seen an increasing dissociative effect. It dates back a little over a month and starts small where you can see Don staring at Y/N for periods and then shaking free of it…”

“Which I have no recollection of doing.”

“Exactly, clips attached mark event 127 numbered sequentially. As we move forward through the snippets, we find that the events increase in both duration and severity.”

“This includes the other referenced symptom of needing to be in Y/N’s immediate space.”

“From what I can tell, Y/N picked up on it about two weeks ago and then alerted us today of what was happening.”

Donnie pinched the space between his eyes. “I have… a hypothesis, but it would be… outlandish.”

“You do?!”

“Of course.” Donnie narrowed his gaze right into the camera.

“So…?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. drew out the syllable and then waited.

Donnie’s lids dropped further.

“Well!?”

“At the time of this recording I am approximately 34 years of age and if what I am considering is to be true, then it would be the first recorded instance in my lifetime.” Donnie reached for the screen and his fingers disappeared as he moved something around on the monitor. “The only comparison that we have is puberty which was not experienced under what could be called ‘normal’ circumstances. Otherwise, such time can be barred as, from what I can recall, it was akin to that of an average humans.”

“You’re… Is that possible?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s voice came out with an eerie even keel.

“Mutant biology is considerably novel.”

“Why now?”

“I have…” Donnie’s head tipped to one side and his gaze trended down. “…a viable partner.”

 “You’re suggesting Y/N triggered it?”

Donnie hesitated and his hand retreated back into view with shaky digits.

“Donatello?”

You watched fear take Donnie by the throat before he caught hold of the emotion. He then crushed it in a vice grip and began to move. “We have very little time to prepare. While it would be against scientific study to jump to conclusions, I am compelled to posit that I am in the final stages. Charting the increased symptoms-“ Both his hands came up to disappear in a flurry of movements. “-I believe we can hypothesize that it will come to a head today. What that means in terms of the prognosis, we aren’t sure, but we can make educated guesses.” With a downward sweep a holographic keyboard was brought down to what you could see of the table and Donnie began to type with worry eating away at his features.

There was a faint sound of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. stuttering as he presumably tried to keep up.

“Curtail and contain. That is how we shall proceed.” With a rash swipe, Donnie threw the digital keyboard projection away as if clearing his desk. “Location!”

“Arriving in t-minus…” There was a countdown beeping noise before you heard S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s voice shift as if he were just off camera.

Donnie turned to where he had come in presumably through the kitchen window. “I’m moving the Dar-”

There was a fizzle of static.

The audio feed was cut, but not the visual.

Donnie’s mouth moved.

You weren’t a lip reader, but the way his tongue rolled was clear.

You knew what it meant.

“-protocol to threat level red.”

“Are you sure, we don’t-!?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. flew into frame behind Donnie.

“Know what’s possible!” Donnie banged his desk and let the rage linger.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. flew a little lower and was quiet.

Donnie recomposed himself in a breath. “I’ve booked at least two weeks at The Lowell and placed a temporary extension on the room if necessary. I’ve contacted several chefs to see who is available on short notice. I’ll need to…” He turned the other way, looking toward the bedroom. “This will act as the eponymous ‘go-bag.’”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. gave a single nod.

“Assignments.” Donnie rotated his body to address the bot. “You will take the P.O.P. suit out of beta and get it fully operational before Y/N gets home. You’ll be acting liaison if I’m indisposed; explain what’s happening. I need to synthesize a concentrated dose for injection.”

“P.O.P-! Inje-!“ S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. waffled, clearly caught between two thoughts. He had to visibly shake himself free of both. “The shot!”

Donnie addressed him with a cold veneer that barely shielded his waning patience.

“Altering the dosage could have major side effects.” With a bob, you could tell S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was gesturing to the screen.

Donnie turned his attention there and his pupils darted as he read.

“Plus, you’re still operating at 100% effectiveness. Are you sure-?”

“Enough.” Donnie’s eyes closed and even through the feed you could sense the irritation radiating off of him. “Again, it’s conjecture, but we can make an educated guess. I need to ensure there is no failure. Do you understand?”

It was a question, but it clearly wasn’t.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. gave a curt nod, but he obviously didn’t agree. With an annoyed swivel, he switched gears. “The suit’s current mechanics have it functioning from a collar.”

It was barely there, but Donnie winced.

“To meet your time restraints, we’ll have to move forward with that design.”

“Do it.”

“Don… Are you going to be-?”

“Dismissed.” Donnie turned.

The footage froze on the image of Donnie departing the table.

Staring at it for several beats, you gave three distinct blinks.

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.!”

“Y-yes?!”

“That didn’t explain anything!!”

“It…!” Several windows cycled and then all closed out for an empty purple backdrop. “I’m sorry!”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. please!” Donnie’s encircling had become a tighter ring and you nervously shuffled where you were being wrangled.

“You arrived-“ There was a whoosh of wood against the frame before the bot darted in through the kitchen window. “-exactly 7 minutes ahead of your projected arrival time!”

“So it’s my fault!?” You tried to take a step, but Donnie nipped you back in place. “Hey!”

“No, it’s just… oh geez he’s… Uh!”

“Breathe and count to ten or something!”

“But I don’t breathe!”

“NOW!”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hovered a little lower before closing his digital lids. He then slowly counted out and you heard the mimic of a breathing exercise.

You waited with what felt like the last bits of your sanity.

“Donnie’s in heat because his turtle brain thinks you’re his mate!” The sentence popped out of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. as he suddenly animated. He then pretended to blow out a sigh of relief. “Look at that! Y/N! It worked!”

“Donnie’s what?!”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. flew over to you while a video with two softshells underwater came up across all the monitors. In a spin, the pair swam around each other before shooting up to the surface and coming back down. You watched without comprehending until you looked down at your boyfriend.

“He’s… trying… to do that?”

The bot shrugged with his rotors.

“He’s not doing a great job.”

“He’s really not.”

“Okay.” You reached up and pressed your finger tips together creating a little cove where you stuck your nose. “Shelly.”

“Back to nickname! Hell yeah!”

“No yeah.”

“Oh.”

Bringing your hands away from your face, you pointed both indexes with the pair pressed flush. “You have to realize that this video.” You renewed the point to the turtle’s on-screen. “Explained more about what is happening-“ You could hear the volume of your voice rising. “-than anything the other did!!!”

 S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. wobbled weakly as if he could barely stay afloat. “I’m… yeah… that is fair, huh?”

Your cheeks hurt from the force of your manic smile.

“We’ve known each other for a lifetime! My lifetime! We say a lot without having to say it, say it!”

“Plus it looked like he was literally bringing references up on the screen!”

“Tha-that too!”

“Why not add those into the video?” 

“I wasn’t ever one for presentations…”

“You have five seconds to collect yourself and then you are going to expand on that insane thing you just said.”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. shot straight up and had to overcorrect to keep from hitting the ceiling. He then spiraled down and came right up to the radius Donnie had set. “It’s like I said! We have no idea what’s going to happen or what he’s capable of because this has never happened before. This is all a hypothesis and there were parts I didn’t agree with, but now seeing him…”

“Is this like a mating dance?”

“Not… really? Not in that sense. It’s more of a display to see if you’ll be receptive.”

“Huh…”

“Basically, the thing around his neck will immobilize him if he tries anything and, as you heard, there’s a hotel room with your own personal chef waiting for however long this lasts.”

Your head shot up from where you’d gotten lost watching Donnie. “What about him?”

“We’ve planned to fall back on the usual containment reserved for the mutagenic flu.”

“He’s not like that though.” You didn’t need to scrutiny to see his gaze was totally different from stage two of his illness. “The neural link!”

“Yeah, that’s interesting data.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. spun around toward the computer and seemed to pluck the pop-up out of nowhere. He then projected a hologram of it over to you.

You scanned it and read something about how there was a shift in brain waves, but it didn’t seem to be fully disabled as it was previously. “I don’t understand…?”

The screen swapped with one of a live brain scan. In it there were fluctuating colors. “Basically he’s lost his higher capacity. You could say he’s operating on basal instincts.”

“He’s feral, but not fever feral.”

“Sure…? You’re the only one who’s lived to see that up close.”

“And he thinks I’m his…” Your cheeks heated up at the mere thought.

You had shelved that bit before. 

Now it had returned with vengeance for your psyche. 

“Softshells don’t have traditional ‘mates.’ They’ll take as many partners as they can during the height of their mating season.”

“Then that doesn’t make sense…”

“It’s why I was against the thought, but you are also basically the only unique variable. Versus all prior documented years, the options are like you or any changes you caused.”

Donnie slowed in front of you and watched with that nearly all black gaze.

You stared into the abyss.

He rose up and you were caught as he dragged your gaze with his.

“Uh…” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hummed nervously.

Your boyfriend leaned in with a curious tilt of his head.

You could feel each time you blinked as it momentarily marred your vision.

It was in such a fall of the lid that he pounced.

You squeaked and your arms made it about halfway up to shield yourself when there was a sudden whoosh of air. Something soft hit you and then there was a bouncing ball noise as it disappeared. Shoving down your appendage shield, you pried your eyes open to find an inflated ball instead of your partner. Purple fabric ballooned around him and caught his arms and legs in nubbins which told you he was strung out inside. Having landed slightly askew, you heard him give a wounded whine and his gaze looked to you with utter betrayal.

“It’s working!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. cheered and there was a faint noise of computations.

Ignoring the bot, you were slow to approach Donnie.

From his cocoon, he didn’t even struggle. He simply turned his pained look on you.

It was there you saw the desperation and confusion.

He didn’t understand what was happening.

“Hey, Shelly.”

“Hm?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. buzzed over analyzing Donnie with a red light scan.

Donnie whimpered as it went over his face.

“Did I say ‘yes’ to his display?”

“Hard to say.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had his head down as if he was taking notes. “There’s different ways it goes in nature. You could have either done the ‘dance’ too or just been passive. Males give up relatively easily since the females are way bigger than them.”

“I was passive…”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hummed, clearly distracted.

Donnie’s gaze recovered and refocused on you. He then gave another high pitched whine as if calling out for help.

“Feel free to go about your normal ‘just got home’ routine. I’m going to monitor him a bit and if it all goes well I’ll leave you to it.”

You frowned.

“Unless you’ll feel better if I stayed. I can clear the ole schedule for you!” He motioned like he was pulling out his calendar even though his gaze was trained on Donnie. 

Donnie’s eyes took on a watery quality. 

“I’m so glad it worked.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. murmured to himself, buzzing to the other side of Donnie.

Those black eyes bore into you.

“Let him out.”

“Get take out.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. seemed to repeat back, lost in some process. “You can, mhm.” 

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. release him.”

“Relea-what!?” In a perfect pivot, the droid turned towards you. “No way!”

“Look at him!” You threw your arms out.

“Yeah!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. did a quick glance. “He looks like he’s a wild animal! The eye thing is an optical illusion! They look all big and shiny which you’re genetically disposed to think is cute!”

“That’s not-!” You swallowed your words.

Was that how you felt?

“He’s in pain!” You tried again.

“He’s in heat!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. nearly screamed. “He’s fine!” 

“S.H.E.L.-”

“No!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. looked like he might have actually put his foot down if he had one. “I’m sorry, but there’s no way. We don’t know what he’s capable of. We barely even know what’s happening. I can show you all the medical data over and over; he’s healthy and not in any actual pain. This completely falls in line with your safety protocol. I’ve made my judgment and you’re going to have to find a way to be okay with that.”

You felt like a toddler.

You wanted to screech.

You wanted to protest.

You wanted to throw an all out tantrum right there on the floor.

It was juvenile.

Then you glimpsed Donnie.  

His gaze hadn’t left you once.  

He was waiting. 

He knew who would help him.

Who was there for him. 

You wanted to hold him. You wanted to soothe him and tell him he would be alright. You knew he’d let you. Even without his facilities, you had that trust. You could see his pupils. He was there, only stunted. He needed you. He wanted you. You were supposed to take care of him. He’d allowed it of you. He’d given it to you.

He didn’t know better.

No one did.

Struck by that thought, you rose up and felt a cool façade take over.

It was the calm before the storm.

You were standing in the eye and prepared to walk out into the fierce winds.

Whoever put their faith in mother nature?

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.”

“The answer isn’t going to change.”

“Bypass Protocol Darling: I want you to release him.”

You heard the metaphorical drop.

If S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had been holding something, it would have crashed to the floor.

In an instant, he was in your face.

“RETRACT YOUR STATEMENT NOW!”

You winced at his megaphone volume.

Donnie began to give his angry warning clicks.

“NOW! RIGHT THIS SECOND! WHILE THERE’S STILL TIME! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING!”

You squeezed a fist so tight your nails cut palm. “Do you need the code too? 143.”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. wilted as if you’d ripped his digital heart right out of his casing.

Guilt threatened to swallow you up.

You bit your tongue to keep from giving in.

There was an audible unlatching and both of you stiffened.

In a loud bang, the collar fell from Donnie and he leaped away, scared of the sound. Landing on all fours, he further bristled before he realized he was free. He took several wary steps, before zoning his attention on you.

It looked like gratitude.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. turned back to you, coming in so close you could feel the heat wafting off of him. “Y/N, I beg you. Reconsider.”

“I won’t.”

“Then, I’ll-!”

“You’re going to need to trust me on this.”

“Trust!? You’re swayed by emotion! There’s no way I’m going to-”

“Then leave.”

If you’d already maimed him, that dealt the killing blow.

Digital tears sprouted up in the corners of his eyes before the lines of brows came down with determination. “Y/N…”

He wasn’t going to give up.

You weren’t either. “Bypass-”

“Don’t!”

Donnie needed you. “-Protocol-“

“Please, we can discuss-!”

“-Darling.”

“-there are other options-!”

“I want a complete system override. You will not have access and you will leave.”

“You’re out of your mind…!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. backed up, fearful. “There must be pheromones present. I need to run a scan and-” His eyes disappeared into a line of code and then altogether. Going rigidly straight, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hovered a little higher and then made a mechanical rotation. Without another word, he flew right over to the window where it opened in time for his passing.

Taking a few weak steps after him, you saw his form disappear into the city.

Regret hit you like a tidal wave.

Its tendrils snaked through your mouth and nostrils, cutting off your oxygen supply.

It crushed your lungs and you gave a dry heave.

Why had you done that?

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had access to the entirety of human knowledge.

Hell, he might even have access to all of yokai knowledge too.

You didn’t know.

You couldn’t know.

He was right. 

There was no way to comprehend the depths.

He was the impartial observer.

He was the only one who Donnie considered a true advisor.

You outright rejected that.

You’d spat directly in his face using a directive whose name you hadn’t even known an hour ago.

You’d sent him away.

Him.

Hurt him.

All for what?

Because you had been called Donnie’s mate?

Something his species didn’t even recognize.

Because you were so desperate to have a tie to him that was more than what you already had.

That he needed you more than you needed him.

Something biological.

Unavoidable.

Weren’t you over that?

The crashing depths of your stupidity chorused.

Rational thought drowned.

Leo’s voice hit a solo about your ignorance.

All because despite everything you were still afraid Donnie would leave.

You heard a concerned whimper.

Turning, with tears flicking away at the sudden twist, you saw Donnie.

He was squatting on the floor with the tatters of his own clothes around him. Between his teeth was his own pant leg where he’d apparently been yanking as it was clearly caught on his foot.

The sight of him didn’t make all your injustices suddenly worth it, but it certainly helped.

Walking over to him in a careful way, he tilted his head as you got close. “Need some help?”

Releasing the piece of clothing, his gaze darted. Him seemed to be registering something about you that you couldn’t judge. 

Kneeling down, you were slow to get ahold of his pants, just in case. Once it was clear he wasn’t going to act and kept on watching, you lifted his trapped leg up and got the last of his clothes off.

“How’s that?” You gave a lazy smile, knowing full well he couldn’t reply.

He checked himself over before entering right into your space. You couldn’t help but smile as he butted his head against yours.

“Where’d your bandana go, hm?” You searched the pile for the scrap of purple with one hand while scratching the soft skin between his jaw and neck with the other.

He made a contented noise before pushing further into your person.

Letting him explore you as he seemed to search for something, you caught hold of his wraps. They were torn to pieces as he presumably ripped them off with his teeth. “Ah Don, you aren’t going to like this later…”

The rooting stopped around your collar as he found he couldn’t weasel his way in there. He made a single sharp click before grabbing it with his teeth.

“Ah! Wait-!”

With a sharp yank, he popped the stitches and caused a several inch long tear.

“Donnie!”

Running his nose along your neck, you were forced to tip for him. He leaned further into your space to the point where you had to throw your hands out behind you to keep yourself upright. Trailing down, he found his desired source: one of your long healed bite marks.

He seemed to marvel at it from only centimeters away and your view was clogged with his carapace. Trying not to focus on it, a bit of movement flicked beyond it. Raising up and gently pushing him back where he retreated easily as long as he could stare at his own handiwork, you realized it was the fast wag of his tail. “It can do that?” You whispered to the air.

As if he heard you, he pulled away to look into your eyes.

“Hey.”

In a dip, he headbutted the underside of your chin with far more urgency than before.

“Okay!” You laughed, trying to get a hold of his shoulders. “Is there something you want me to do?”

Having not surfaced, you could feel hot puffs of air as he scented his way down your body. His press insistent, he added force gradually until you relented to lay down. Though you could no longer see it, his tail must have been wagging wildly because his lower body rocked side to side. Craning your neck to watch him, he huffed across the plane of your stomach sending warm waves out as he went lower and lower. With your legs trapped under him there was little to do until his trek forced him to back up. It was around skimming the line of your pants when he finally released you.

Trying to pull your legs up to the side, he caught a knee as it started to bend. He then shoved the pair apart and settled himself between. Titillated at the idea of what his rut entailed, you squeaked as he shoved his snout right into the apex of your sex.

“Fast!” You gasped, the faint trickles of how dumb the word sounded lapping at your ears.

Warmth slowly permeated the layers of fabric there as he drank in the scent greedily. The indiscriminate worming between your thighs caused your hips to push down against him in an involuntary reaction cultivated from the many times he’d eaten you out. He froze at the action and you wondered if that had been the wrong move. Worry lasted only a second as in the next you were airborne and being carried straight to the bed. In an angry shouldering, he shoved the semi-sheer canopy draping away to get inside. He then dropped you unceremoniously onto the bed before climbing in himself.

Catching sight of the way the drapes fell behind him had a menacing quality. Mentally sweeping the thought away, you found there was a similar struggle happening physically. With hefty mitts dragging over your shoulders, it took you a moment to realize Donnie was fighting your clothes and not with you. Ready to urge him back so you could help the process, he instead got a mouthful of the fabric around your stomach. Knowing it was too late, he tugged and the first distinct difference in his heat hit you. Having never given too much thought to how much care he usually exerted, the Donnie that ripped your clothes off on occasion did far more than you ever gave him credit for. He understood material construction and went for weak points that would make them painlessly come away.

This Donnie knew none of those things.

His pull was fruitless at first, only succeeding in yanking your whole body up off the bed to dangle from the harness that was now your shirt. You waffled there, trying to get traction against smooth sheets. When he tossed his head like a dog with a toy, he whipped side to side with you helplessly caught in the middle. The momentum chaffed and pinched until you wrangled one of your arms up with the intention to pry him free. Only then did he seem to gain some kind of awareness and growled. Not deterred, you neared him when he put his foot down in the form of a hand pushing down on your stomach. The sudden force caused oxygen to leave you. Open palm punched in the gut, you bounced as you hit the bed and the force caused the shirt to rip. It wasn’t without its collateral as you could feel the rug burn leaving lined rashes in its wake.

With a fling of his head the shirt was gone and Donnie’s gaze oozed darkness.

In a near comical motion, you shared eye contact before both dropping your gaze to your pants. 

“No!” You screeched, turning to flee.

He caught you by the hips and with a slip his fingers found your waistband. Knowing he couldn’t have done that on purpose, you almost thanked the new position as you shimmied your hips. You’d hoped it would help you wiggle out of the bottoms, but instead it caused Donnie to claw in an attempt to hold on. His nails burned as he hadn’t the sense to hold back and you cried out at the drag.Released at the sound, the push and pull of the struggle sent you rolling toward the headboard.

Blinking to catch your bearings, Donnie had no such ailment and was back on you before you could recover. The moment of freedom had given you free control of limbs and you tried to swat him away so you could at least get your fly down. The mechanism was lost on him as he groped for a good hand hold. Locating one in the pockets, you were again lifted off the mattress.

“Oh, come on!”

With the height leveraging your hips, your torso fell as Donnie yanked anew. The fabric bunched and bit right into the crease of your ass and you hissed out at the pinch. Having been unintentionally closer to the seam, the stitching popped, but not in the way he wanted. Struggling, he pulled from the sides until the shreds could no longer support your weight. You dropped again and stiffened in preparation. It increased your bounce height and jolted Donnie who tried to palm you down again as if you were the one acting unruly. This time he struck his weight down near your hip which caused you to involuntarily kick. It hit the top of his knee and he yelped as you felt exactly how it came in contact with his cap.

Retreating slightly like a wounded predator, Donnie circled. 

Looking over the carcass, he narrowed in on your underwear. Hasty and not about to be impaled by underwire, your hands flew behind your back to undo your bra. Getting it free, he only showed his appreciation by knocking you over. Instantly trying to right yourself, you got enough height to watch as he slid a testing finger through the thin fabric of your underwear. Having flashbacks of terrible sitcoms, your hands flew out and just barely missed the moment he gave a swift tug. Wedgied and humiliated, this bit of cotton was never meant to support weight. It snapped near instantly but not without leaving an bitter scorch in its wake.

Hips falling for the third time, you used the bounce to sit up. Donnie met you there and flipped you right over. Squirming as he applied far too much pressure with the heels of his palms along your sides, he got ahold of your hips. They rose to his liking and you were forced to get your arms under you if you were to have any modicum of control. Wriggling in an attempt to adjust, you felt the tip of his cock center to your entrance. Freezing and flexing your muscles involuntarily to cut him off, a single booming thought echoed in your mind.

You weren’t ready.

The only time he’d stoked the embers had been during his scenting and since then had been indignity on top of annoying pain.

“W-wait, you can’t-!” Trying to crawl on your hands, your fingers slid against the sheets helplessly as he held you firm. “Donnie!!”

Once again falling on deaf tympanum, he simply squeezed his response.

It came in a crushing force to your hips that nearly diverted all thought. It wasn’t an exact pain and instead a whine as the bones under his grip were subjected to an immense amount of pressure. A high pitched worry came off your lips and he relented as his piping hot tip pressed into you. Suddenly very aware of the original issue, you resisted moving for fear he’d crush your Ilium. In a fumbling swipe of his cock, you felt a thorough slick spread.

Confused, you had to see what caused it. Still cautious of retreat, you did the only action you could think of and dropped your head down. Looking through the undercarriage of your body, there wasn’t much to see at first. Snippets of his legs through yours was about it until he cock dropped into view. Having missed your entrance again, you realized why as he wasn’t using his hands to guide. They were instead preoccupied holding you still and he was trying to manage his erection on its firmness alone. Momentarily down, his cock pearled a seemingly constant stream of pre-cum. Struck by the sheer leaky volume, you gawked even after his member disappeared to try you again. Feeling the tip of glans hook your entrance, his third attempt was successful and he sank straight down to the hilt. 

Punched in the stomach for the second time tonight, you wheezed as it was all too fast. The pinch, the burn, and the very heat of him cauterized whatever wounds he left in his wake. Struggling to push him off for even a little relief, he instead came down like a wall around you. Pressing you flat to the bed, your face slammed into the mattress due to momentum. Turning to gasp and greedily suck down oxygen, Donnie wasn’t withholding his weight and the whole of his body crushed you. Limbs flailing out of the vice, you felt his head come near. Thinking he was checking on you and you could translate something, you turned in time as teeth sank into your shoulder.

All the other times he’d bitten you were coy in comparison.

Teeth striking sinew, the sound that came out of you burned your throat. Tears immediately started flowing in time as his jaw locked in place. Utterly trapped and wilting under an inferno, his hips moved. In yet another terrible disclosure, you found that even the times he’d supposedly lost control were metered. What was happening now was a skewering whose only saving grace was his force made your innards numb from the onslaught. Gone was the partner that prioritized your pleasure and what was left was a selfishness to reproduce with not a single care for the vessel.

Sobbing, your reaction was relegated to your face alone as everything else was swallowed up by him. Salt tinted your tongue and his head knocked against yours only because the force of his hips rocked the whole of you. Thought burned from your mind and your coffin was nailed shut. Alive and trapped, you buried your face into the sheets and begged for a quick release.

Your luck had always been dodgy, but it arrived just as he did. 

He came without pretext.

There had been no build-up of the knot and instead he simply stopped thrusting. With only a split second reprieve, a sudden force shoved all your innards further than he was buried. Choking as it ushered bile into your throat, you were drowned by the velocity of his seed. Keenly feeling its exertion, you found strength to dig your nails into the sheets and howl. Spurts continued in near endless shockwaves and the volume was becoming increasingly worrisome. Panicked thoughts said there had to be an end, but his cock just kept pumping you full. Feeling the density in your lower abdomen and only dizzyingly wondering if bulging was possible, the hose stopped with just about as much warning as it started.

Sniveling and feeling worse for it, he unlatched from where your shoulder had gone worryingly numb. The shift in teeth further disturbed the wound and you watched blood stain the sheets. Wrung out, you heard a confused trill as Donnie nosed you. You spurned him with a turn of your head and he made a soft wounded sound. Bitter and wanting him to stew in it, you felt tears continue to streak your cheeks. Wrangling a hand in to scrub at your raw skin, you felt his weight shift on your back. It took a little effort and, much like a large dog thinks they’re small, he had to press further down on you before he got himself up. The drop in weight meant solace didn’t come and you were left splattered on the mattress.

It took several drags of your elbows before you got them close enough to your body to press. The one under your injured left shoulder gave immediately and you ended up in a half rise. Shaking and trying to get more height, your torso moved the chain of your body which eventually tipped your hips. It was there through the endless string of leaking cum, that you felt he was still rock hard.

Eyes widening in horror, you let your bad arm give and used the drop to overlook your other shoulder. Donnie was a curved seal above you, with his arms prominent muscular sticks. His hips were glued to your ass where, even though you couldn’t see, you could very much feel how you were both still very much connected. Dully looking him over, he watched you with a near wary stare. Brows and mouth scrunching in confusion, you weren’t sure what he was waiting for. 

Frowning, you forced your lips in line. “What?”

A chirpy sort of noise came from him.

“You sound like a bird.” You grouched, turning away.

Running a hand overtop your head, you winced to examine your shoulder. It looked like something out of a zombie movie and you nearly gagged. Shuffling again to get your body up, you heard another bewildered trill from your partner.

“I don’t know, Don.” Your voice dripped with malice. “Maybe-” Anger planted your elbows. “-it-” With a shove you got upright. “-was-” In a sway, you had to hold your weight on your good side to stay that way. “-you! Did you ever think of that?!”

The next sound he made was almost like a protest. 

“Stupid.” You grunted.

As much as you willed it to be for him, it was actually for you.

This should have happened sooner.

You grimaced.

It wasn’t the punishment itself, but the karmic justice.

You’d been playing with fire for far too long.

He’d tried to warn you. 

You ignored it. 

You tempted fate every chance you got.

Had you always been this way?

Had you just been the wrong version of lucky?

Had this man really appeared in your life only to alter the very course of your existence?

How very woe is me. 

Weak, but wanting to get away from the thoughts and situation, you garnered a little forward movement. Retribution still had claws in you because the stodgy action rocked you back.

Into him.

Onto him.

A rumbling thunder wafted off of him until he cut it off with a testing buck of his hips.

That was it.

You’d accidentally signaled green a second time.

What came next broke into fragments.

The renewal of your shoulder mark.

The unrelenting thrust of his cock.

The abysmal lack of care.

There was one change. 

You could breathe.

That last one didn’t occur until the last moment. Unable to think of much else with him attempting to fuck you out of existence, you only realized you weren’t squished flat until you were. His drop came with the nozzle turn on his fire hose of cum. Whining, he trapped you under him to take another insane load. With the same momentum, the new batch forced the old one out. Drenching your legs, you tried to shudder, but the press of his plastron branded your spine.

He was slower to rise. Still, you were given that same space and he sounded off far more confusing bird noises. This time your energy was truly depleted and your response came via lying in a soiled pool. Wondering if maybe he’d leave you be with passivity, you vaguely remembered S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s explanation. Groaning at the thought and how much you missed the droid, you tried to move, but found you couldn’t. Fresh tears leaked and you agonized to even rotate your head.

It was there, Donnie snout appeared. His movement signaled his erection had yet to go down and you screwed your eyes shut at the thought. You felt a dart of wet heat against your salt chilled skin and it pulled the string on the curtain of your lids. In your face, was his enlarged stare and his tongue retreating into his mouth.

“Did you lick my tears?” You rasped.

His head tilted and nosed you with the most care yet. 

It wasn’t a single prod and instead several little bops as if he was trying to get a better look at you.

You shook your head to turn away.

Worry sounded and you felt a hand at your back. It wasn’t dead weight, but a gentle pressure as he checked something. You couldn’t make sense of it until his fingers curled under your ribs. His other hand joined the first and you were being hoisted up. A flood rushed between your legs at the angle and in it, he shifted within you. Stomach bottoming out and knowing what that’d cause, you felt a vibration in his chest as his hips twitched. Arms lost, you made fists as your only means to hold onto your sanity.

Nails biting into your palm, you felt his hot breath singe the bite. Shoulders tensing as you awaited another tear of flesh, warmth enveloped it instead. Teetering on delirium, you turned the little you could to see his head similarly in position. He was fucking into you, but you felt detached from your lower body. Sending all your brain power towards solving the puzzle, you felt a swipe and saw a replay of his tongue darting back into his mouth.

He was cleaning your wound.

Not sure what to make of that, the bounce of your body meant the bottom of your breasts beat his hands from where they had a hold of your rib cage. It bred an odd sensation as he seemed to lick in time with his thrusts. The heat felt oddly good and you lolled like a rag doll back against him. There you could see the lining of the canopy bed. You and Donnie had hung those drapes what felt like eons ago, if it ever happened at all.

Your life felt condensed down to only this moment. 

He came a third time. 

You imagined he was made of cum.

He had cum for brains.

All those bulging muscles were cum storage tanks much like a camel.

It was the only explanation as to where he was keeping it all.

It leaked from where he tried to stuff it in you, without anywhere else to go. 

Your head rolled down as he adjusted you.

Now staring down the length of your body, you vaguely remembered the bulge. 

Your stomach looked rounded, but you also couldn’t remember what it looked like before.

Numbed, it was moistened lips that brushed your cheek in a nuzzle which brought you to. 

Eyes shooting wide, you were smacked with a thought.

Each time he came, he was a little clearer.

“Do-?” Your voice shattered.

You couldn’t swallow the residuals.

Coughing on the shards, you started to wonder if the salt you tasted had only been your tears.

Sweat hadn’t been a consideration with all your sensory neurons firing wildly.

As if sensing you were onto higher thought, your blood pressure dropped. Wondering if shock was a thing, you drooped where you were laying down as a black vignette tried to swallow you up like Donnie’s pupils. Tinnitus rang its bell and the reverb held onto it like a tuning fork. Movement happened or it was the rustle of your body unwinding. You were made of paper and being shredded for use in a nest. It would be bedding for some creature; a comfort you were not afforded.

Ice cold water hit your cheek and you screeched awake.

Animated, your body retaliated, but you refused its rage. Finding you could move freely, you pulled all of you as close as possible. Your hips screamed as you folded them to put your knees to your chest. Your shoulder growled as you wrapped your arms around said stems to keep them from escaping. You trapped your seething core behind a door of your feet.

Across from you Donnie watched in a stoop.

You took him in with the head twitches of a canary.

In his hand was what looked like a wet bowl. Tracing a drip of water as it fell to the bed, you saw the darkened spot where it had spilled. You vaguely registered he must have been trying to get the liquid to your lips when you’d jolted away and presumably dumped the thing. Only wondering how he’d gotten the tap or cabinets to work, you then took in his expression. 

It was open worry and unabashed fear.

That seemed impossible and your brow came down as an out of place swing got your attention. Tracing down Donnie’s body to it, you found his cock dangling between his legs. You weren’t sure if it was actually irritated or just the fact that it was out, but it looked inflamed.

Not given the time you examine, in a blink, he was gone.

Staring at where the canopy drapes were swinging back together, you could barely make out his form in the kitchen. There, you heard the loud crinkling of a water bottle before there was a gush as if it exploded. Not even entertaining the thought of moving, you saw his form return and he nosed into the curtains, snout first. His head then entered cautiously before he crawled up onto the bed with a freshly filled bowl. He then set it near you and shrank down, looking between you and it.

A part of you raged at obeying him, but it was squashed under incredible thirst. Moving wary only for a second, you hungrily snatched the bowl up and glimpsed him careening away from your movement. The bowl felt soothing in your grip and you palmed it with two hands to bring it up. As if tasting water for the first time, the ice cold liquid acted as a balm for your insides. Greedy on the first sip, you chugged and the overflow ran down your chin. Angles of your collarbone brought some of the water to your wound and you twitched at the pain.

It caused you to swallow wrong and, in coughing, Donnie appeared at your side. You shrank away from him and he lowered until he was nearly laying on the bed. Gawking at his display, the bowl came down between you. He lifted his head only enough to see inside it before glancing to where he’d exited the bed.

You cleared your throat before testing it. “La…ter?”

Comprehension wasn’t obvious, but still he darted away.

Staring again at swaying drapes, you gave up figuring out what he was up to and instead watched yourself thumb over some water on the outside of the bowl. It streaked and you made a soothing windshield wiper motion. Distracting by it, you only faintly registered he’d returned when there was a movement against the mattress.

Relenting only because nothing else came, you looked up in time to watch him drop a protein bar from his open jaw. It landed perfectly between you and he scurried back some as if to give you space to grab it.

You cocked a brow.

Unwilling to unfurl just yet, you rotated your body with a wince. Facing the object, you wondered how he’d gotten it. Not only was it in one of the upper kitchen cabinets, but it had also been in a box. He’d somehow gotten it over here and, from the looks of it, the wrapper was still in tact. 

Donnie made a worried noise and dropped to the bed again. Unsure, you lay your chin on your knees and watched as he dipped his snout into the sheets. Edging up to the bar, he then used it as a wedge and with an upward flick, the thing rolled a little closer to you. He ended the action with a trill and then returned to his far corner.

Now that you thought about it, you hadn’t eaten since lunch. You weren’t really hungry, but after an extra fiddle with the bowl, you finally set it down. Reaching out methodically, you caught the edge of the bar’s wrapper and pinched. Bringing the object in, Donnie repeated his last sound and it was one you identified as encouragement. Not checking with him, you peeled a corner open and took a small bite.

There was a clear rhythmic thump that must have been Donnie’s tail.

Glancing at your partner, you wondered if that had ever happened before. It wasn’t something you recalled and you felt pretty strongly that you would have noticed if it had. Your track record said otherwise, but you swept the annoying thought under a proverbial rug.

Taking another bite, you tried not to linger on his dangling dick. It was hard not to as you hadn’t seen one in who knows how long. You’d gotten used to the compact nature of him and seeing it out seemed wrong. Chewing, you moved on to take further stock of your surroundings. The blood stain on the bed wasn’t as big as you had imagined it. As if remembering it was injured, your shoulder throbbed. Frowning, you wondered if you’d be allowed to leave the bed. You needed some kind of ploy and uncoiling just a little caused one of your toes to brush the cold bowl.

The shock came twofold as you hit the bottom of the wrapper before realizing you’d eaten the whole bar. Thinking that was probably a good thing, you crinkled the foil and finished the last chews. Across from you Donnie bobbed slightly, trying to get a better look at you. Bringing your head up so he could see and calm down, he tensed. Shaking your head, you reached for the bowl.

“Can I get a refill?” You held it out to him.

His eyes only broke from you to glance at the bowl a single time. 

Otherwise, he was a statue of nerves.

He’d seemed eager to do it before.

Tapping the side of it, you tried to think. The balled wrapper crinkled as you moved and you gave it a passing glance. Setting the bowl down near where he’d dropped the bar, you ignored the faint protests of your body before returning to your spot.

In a flash, Donnie swiped up the bowl and left.

Not realizing you were about to hit the button on a stopwatch, you realized now was the time to make for your exit. Abdomen burning and excess cum still leaking, you managed to get to your feet. You heard the crinkling of plastic and hobbled as quickly as you could to the bathroom. Coming down from the burst of speed, you held your breath as you closed the door at a torturous pace. You were rewarded with a near silent click as the lock fell into place before you slumped against the sink.

In your periphery, your ghost in the mirror was a haunting one. Not giving them the time, you bent with a few pained zaps to get the first aid kit. It seemed painfully kismet that you’d either not been wholly present or weren’t really paying attention the other times Donnie had dressed your bites. You at least knew splashing hydrogen peroxide on wasn’t the way and reached for the tap. Just as your fingertips brushed the metal, you heard a panicked yip from the adjacent room.

“Here!” You called before you could stop yourself.

Inflating your cheeks in frustration, you flicked the tap angrily.

It wasn’t like you were trying to escape and he could easily break down the door if he wanted.

There was a curious chirp along with something brushing against the wood.

Instinct told you to open the door.

Why?

He’d only been a threat.

Hadn’t he?

Your hand was on the knob.

The rush of water drowned out the rest of your thoughts.

He made that worried sound.

Unlocking the door, you awaited alarm bells. 

There was only a silent expanse as you turned the handle.

Opening the door revealed Donnie crouched low with the filled bowl in his hands.

Leaving the door open, you returned to the sink. A curious sound chased you as you tested the water. It was far too hot now and you adjusted the other tap to get the temperature to a mid point. Soon adjusted, you did your best hunch to get your shoulder over the sink. The first water you splashed on it was pure agony. The next dulled as receptors went to work transferring unknown signals in your body. Using mild soap, you carefully cleaned the wound. Knowing you’d have to be at this for the next few minutes, you adjusted your stance to hold yourself up. 

When you finished, you had to shatter through the stiffness of your spine to locate a towel. Sacrificing the one nearest you, you took a small step back only to bump into something firm. Searching the ground, you found Donnie with his back to you neatly curled up. He looked very much like he was keeping watch so you left him to the task as you blotted your wound dry. It wept disrupted cells and you got hold of antibacterial ointment. Slathering it on and not having the time or steady hand to do the stitches you clearly needed, you then piled on gauze. Slapping on a cover to hold it all together, you made a move to step over your guard dog.

He animated first and scurried away, but not far. He watched from beyond the door frame and you found he’d left the water bowl behind. Scooping it up and lazily trailing back to the bed, you drank from it with one hand. It felt weirdly empowering as you parted the curtains and sat. Your core sore, you tipped further onto your ass and watched as Donnie trailed over to you, but continued to keep a certain distance.

Imagining how prolonged stress must have been wearing on him, you still couldn’t understand why. It was only you and you couldn’t remember having done anything to frighten him. The opposite was true and you’d only really passed out. It’s not like he’d cared much for your wellbeing prior to that. Taking another swig until the bowl was almost drained, you ruminated on how small he looked. It was odd how he could get that big body into such a low, submissive position.

Blinking, you sat up a little and he twitched.

“Wait… Are you…?” You leaned forward and he dropped further in time.

In a dart of his eye, he searched you.

Feeling the need to press, you reached out.

He flinched.

You’d seen that before.

It had been a long while.

He wasn’t scared of you.

He was scared for you.

It felt ridiculous that you hadn’t put it together considering you’d already realized that each consecutive nut had been giving him a sort of clarity. It was S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s description that had thrown you off. Donnie was acting on basal instincts, but you now knew why S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hadn’t fully agreed to the feral description. Donnie still knew things; he was simply in an animalistic state. Through minor changes, his apartment was constructed exactly as it had been for years. It’d be second nature to know what cabinet the snacks were in or how extra water bottles were on the door of the fridge.

Setting the bowl aside, you stared at him in a new light.

Each time he came, he’d found more and more wounds. Sorting your memories and trying to peel back the negative layer, you saw his worry increase. Then you’d passed out and there was no way that didn’t activate a painful core memory for him. There was a similarly stained milestone in your relationship and here he didn’t even have the ability to self-soothe. Instead he was fighting tooth and nail against mating instincts to care for you as much as he could. 

At least, that’s what his reddened member said.

It caught you in a terrible split.

What he had done was patently not okay.

That he had no control wasn’t his fault. 

It also didn’t erase what was done.

It felt similar to how’d you’d agreed to all this without knowing. 

Trapped and feeling shitty about everything, you couldn’t help but want him.

It was another catch-22. 

He’d hurt you.

He was the source of your comfort. 

Confused and dwelling on exaggerating your misery, you reached out to him. 

He watched, unaware of your internal struggle.

“I can’t really move to you…” The thought of getting on your knees sounding like agony, but you weren’t sure how else to beckon a wild animal. “Will you come here?” You extended a little more. “Please?”

He leaned in like he would for a moment before he took a whole step back.

“Donnie…”

Wary of your prolonged attention, he began to round the bed.

Feeling very alone, you slipped behind the canopy and pulled at the edges of the top sheet. Donnie passed, curious, as you wrangled the sheet from beneath you. It freed from its corners and you pulled until the bundle wadded up in your lap. There you found the blood had only partially seeped to the fitted layer. Thinking on it, you felt the weight of the mattress shift. Looking over your good shoulder, found Donnie immediately stiffening as if you’d caught him. Giving him a quick once over, he didn’t seem like he was attempting to initiate anything so you gestured to the ball of cotton. “I’m checking the stain.” 

He viewed the item with a stretch of his neck before he circled.

You stayed still just in case, but he seemed more interested in something else. In a turn, he found a corner and caught the sheet with his teeth. Giving it a viscous pull, you weren’t really holding on so it came away from you easily. You then watched as he did some furious wrestling with it before proudly parading around you. It took several laps until he was satisfied, but Donnie mounded the fabric in a loose pool around you. He then backed into his corner and sat with minor wincing as he had to move his cock out of the way to do so comfortably.

“A nest?” You wondered, adjusting the embankment.

He made a faint chirpy noise.

This was probably meant to be comfort, but it wasn’t the kind you were hoping for. “Don…?”

Another acknowledging trill came.

Carving out some space with a kick, you gestured to the nest. “Come here.”

His brow ridge came down and you found him looking at what you’d done to his work with a form of frustration.

“Here.” You pointed to the divot.

His head lowered and there was a sour quality to his lips.

“You know what? I’m going to chase you if you don’t get your butt over here.”

He chuffed.

“I will. I don’t care if it hurts; I’ll get you.”

He simply watched with wrinkled features.

You made a sudden jolt as one would when trying to rile up a dog.

He hackles rose and he bumped one of the metal bars supporting the canopy. It made the bed shake which sent his gaze darting around with wild worry.

“Hey!”

He snapped back to you with a similar speed.

“Come. Now.” You pointed with more ferocity.

In a slow lowering of his gaze, you could tell he was having some kind of debate. It was a far cry from his usual ones as it was resolved quickly and ended with him inching forward. In a crawl, he approached you low and slow. Like a scared dog, you metered your movements and offered your hand again. This time he didn’t shy away, but leaned into it with a near constant flick between looking at it and checking in with you. When he was close enough, you were able to graze your knuckles against his cheek.

The reaction was instantaneous, he blew out with a decompression-like noise that sounded similar to when a screaming kettle is removed from the heat. Even through the single point of contact, you could feel just how tightly he was wound. Allowing him to watch your movement, you got your hand rotated and skirted his jaw. The muscles there felt like they were about to pop and his eyes shed a layer of anxiety to show a deep desperation. It all pointed to struggle and you could only imagine it was his instincts.

“I wish you could hold me…” You whispered, your other hand twitching as you resisted bringing it up. “Tell me everything's alright and that you’ll fix all this.” 

Donnie caught the movement and lingered on it, unhearing.

You turned the brush into a bare scritch.

It took several minutes, but he soon had the weight of his head against your hand.

“You don’t have to attack, do you? Just move nice and slow.”

He gave another injured whine before moving a little bit closer while taking momentary pauses to check with you.

You nodded affirmatively each time.

As he closed in, he dropped his chin right on where your other hand had been resting on your thigh.

“Almost there…” You whispered, giving what you hoped were soothing shushing noises.

He flopped into his side and you caught how he had to hold one of his legs up so as not to brush his dick.

“Does it hurt?” With both hands you scratched under his chin until his eyes drifted shut. Staring at his member and the weak bob that kept his leg up, you imagined it had to. That was skin that wasn’t meant to be exposed for so long. You idly wondered if there was some issue that was keeping it out. The thought was immediately dispelled as he was clearly still half erect. 

Still curious, one of your hands began to drift down his plastron towards it.

On high alert, he popped up and nipped at you while moving his lower half away.

“Hey…” You fussed, keeping your voice low. A pull in the muscles of your nethers pulsed in time with your heart. “It doesn’t have to hurt. In fact, it normally doesn’t…”

Not a full alarm, but a warning flashed in your mind.

It seemed impossible you could even think about sex. 

You shouldn’t want it. 

Not after what happened and especially not with this version of your partner. 

He was doing everything in his power to prevent that. 

In all actuality, you really needed to get him to sleep so you could go get that P.O.P. collar. 

With him actually subdued, you could start some real damage control. 

Were you still going to ignore the sensible option?

“Come back…” You urged, offering your hands again.

You could now easily see his struggle. 

He needed to breed so badly it was hurting him. 

Need and resistance swirled in two forces that threatened to consume him.

“Donatello, come to me.” You adjust where you were kneeling to beckon him.

There was a deep throbbing ache that warned you.

Though the fight made his head wobble, he came forward shivering.

This time when you got your hands under his chin, you quickly sent them further to cradle his neck. Feeling the smooth scar tissue there, you traced it.

He made a heady noise that warbled as he tried to swallow it. His lids rolled in a fight to shut.

Rising on your knees, you gave a gentle tug that held no force.

Between your legs pinged an alert like a sonar.

He came in the closest he had in what felt like hours.

“It doesn’t have to hurt.” You told both of you.

He gave a worried chirp that made his head bob.

Making an obvious show of it, you brushed your lips over his forehead.

Two consecutive chirps sounded in something akin to noises you heard from dozing pigeons.

You wanted him.

The thought struck you so hard, its explosion cleared the battlefield of your mind.

You shouldn’t.

By all accounts, it was wrong.

Your body was screaming as much; trying to dissuade you from coaxing the beast. 

You still had a feeling.

You’d already had many of those.

They were dangerous inkling with no facts behind them.

That was wrong.

No, it wasn’t.

It hadn’t always been bad.

This decision wasn’t clouded by unfounded confidence like before.

It wasn’t what had gotten you into this mess.

It was what you knew and that was Donnie.

You saw… something in me…

If you just tried again you could erase it.

That wasn’t possible.

It could help.

It could make it worse.

This wasn’t some fix.

How could he help?

He did this.

He hurt you.

He was your mate.

You took care of each other.

In a gentle push, your fingers had made it to his plastron.

Nearly dozing, Donnie’s blown pupils surfaced.

“Just a little…” You gave a little more force, directing him.

Chirping with a sort of understanding, Donnie backed up.

It reminded you of a strange slow dance as he neared the edge of the bed. 

He checked there before exiting and dropping low to the floor.

You hadn’t needed him to renew his submissive display, but it was a good sign.

He was still aware.

With minor strain, you reached and pulled the canopy apart so it wouldn’t be in the way. You then sat on the edge of the mattress and felt lingering muscle protests as you got your legs dangling off. Ever so slightly parted, you motioned for Donnie to return.

He looked you up and down and made a sharp click.

“It’s going to work. I know it.”

He hadn’t once smiled or frowned and you weren’t sure he could, but there was a downward tug on his lips.

“Please.” You steeped your tone with entreatment.

He was unconvinced.

Steeling the muscles in your stomach, you felt your throat. Tightening as best you could, you imagined the sound before you attempted it. What came out was a sorry excuse for one of his wounded whines.

Whatever it was translated because his eyes went as large as dinner plates.

He was upon you in an instant, eyes raking over you with panicked worry. You showed him your hands, which he passed over as he clumsily caught your forearms. There he pulled you a bit as he searched your body for the source of your pain. With him, distracted, you got a hold of his head.

He froze and sent his dark gaze into your face.

Still not at all used to making the noise, you gave what you hoped was a confirming chirp.

He sounded one colored in his own confusion.

Leaning in with what felt like slow motion, you pressed your lips to his.

When he couldn’t kiss back, you weren’t surprised. 

Undeterred, you simply renewed the press to confused lips before pulling away enough to see him.

He searched your face.

Hands trailing down, you kissed the corner of his mouth before nuzzling against him as he had you.

That was a gesture he understood and he returned it with faint hesitation.

Getting near where his plastron narrowed, your hands split to each grab one edge of the front. You there you carefully reeled him in while piling on distracting kisses and nuzzles.

With only a few weary protests as he was clearly enjoying the attention, you got him between your legs.

There he stiffened with realization and his palms flew down to either side of you on the bed. He yanked his face away from your barrage and made several threatening clicks.

You shook your head and wished you knew what a sound for comfort was. There was that trilling noise, but that had sounded more like a greeting or attention.

He was pulling away.

You tightened your grip and painted your face to plead. “Donnie, please. Stay.”

He didn’t understand.

Keeping one hand hooked to his plastron the other came up to guide his cheek. You tried to kiss him to translate though it had fallen on deaf ears before.

A sliver broke through. 

You could hear his resolve waning in his whine.

Sensing he’d stay in place, the hand holding his waist drifted lower.

You drank in non-reactive lips with a headier press until you reached his member.

The faintest touch of your digits caused him to violently lurch. The bed dipped around you, forcing you to plant your feet on the ground to keep from sliding off. His jaw dropped and you heard him blow out a large huff of air that tickled your clavicle.

The muscles in your ass tensed nervously as you waited with a mantra.

You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.

He rose with a weak wobble to look at you, very much betrayed and seemingly near tears.

You kissed him again and almost imagined him returning it. “You’re so good, Don. Slow, slow.”

Getting a hold of his member, you heard the clear noise of the sheets ripping on either side of you. With a loose grip, you stilled and whispered sweet reassurances against his cheek.

He panted openly, barely hanging on, while you kept urging him with your voice.

Time as a concept had broken down to nothing more than this room. When he rose, having conquered his current bout, you had no idea how long it’d been. You pecked a line of kisses along his jaw and cooed your happiness in an exaggerated way.

He took it in with a ragged look and rested his forehead against your cheek.

You leaned weight there before shifting your grip on him. Back at full salute, you guided his cock closer.

He tensed around you, head lowering to watch what you were doing.

Crowded by him, it marred your vision so you closed your eyes to line him up.

As soon as his heated tip brushed your lips, your whole body coiled. It wasn’t pain exactly, but a reminder of how swollen and sore you were. You felt Donnie move from your shoulder and, before you could do anything, his hand came between your sexes. Still not exact in his motor skills, the back of his appendage brushed your sex as he used it to create a barrier.

“Donnie-” You began to protest, but the touch sent a zap of electricity through you. 

He gave a single sharp click and half glared at you.

It felt very much like he was gloating. 

“It’s…”  You had to think. 

Hooking your knees around his thighs, you meant to keep him from retreating. 

Whatever was going on in his head, he did wait. 

Having bought yourself time, you figured you were in for a much needed examination. 

“Stay…” You tried to lean into him for a kiss, but he pulled away.

Your lips turned down knowing he was at a current state of having made up his mind.

“Just… don’t go…” You mumbled. With one hand going to his plastron to steady yourself, the other dipped between your legs and brushed his hand. He moved it only slightly, but it gave you enough room to slip your fingers into your folds. Puffy and irritated, the outer labia had been rubbed raw by friction. Testing a digit inside found you ultimately dry and tender around the first ring of flesh. Past that though, you hooked a finger as best you could and didn’t find as much pained tissue as you would have thought. Pulling out and sinking back, you huffed a sigh.   

Donnie held that self-satisfied air, but you were sure it was a construct of your mind.

Tapping his hard chest, you slowly lit up with an idea.

Unhooking your legs, you pushed him so you could fully sit upright. He took a retreating step as you dove for the nightstand. The rummage was fast as he always kept it nearby and you came away with a bottle of lube.

Donnie’s brow ridge dipped and he seemed to test the air.

Thinking it probably had the faint scent of sex on it, you poured an excess into your hand. Tossing the bottle aside, you clasped it within your other to warm it up. Probably having not waited long enough, you scooped the lube up into your dominant hand and dipped it between your legs. Twitching at the chill, you used two fingers to slide it through your abused lips. Acting as a sort of balm, you spread your legs wider and gently eased your entrance. The prodding helped and in an upward climb, you brushed your clit. The tingles of a positive sensation was, but it was a harsh cry from pleasure. Instead, it felt like soothing weathered nerves. You held all the control and comfort in the literal palm of your hand. Doing wide rolling sweeps just to hold onto the feeling, your head drifted back where you glimpsed your partner.

Your hand stilled.

Not realizing it, you had been putting on quite the show.

Donnie stood as a looming form, only a few steps away. His posture screamed horror movie with his head hunched down between his shoulders. Speaking to something NC-17, his cock was honed in on you with near malicious intent. At some point the stream of pre-cum had started back up and it oozed like a leaky faucet. Having pooled on the floor, it was in tracing it that you caught his fingers flexing. 

Eyes screwing shut and waiting for an impact, you were still glad for your decision to raid the nightstand.

If time did exist, it wasn’t with a second hand.

When nothing came you slowly cracked one lid open at a time to find your boyfriend was statuesque.

Studying him closely revealed more; his face was an odd portrait where his eyes were hypnotized by your sex. Around that though, his features were screwed up in what was obviously pain. The body language that had just seemed ominous now read withheld. His digits were pumping out from where he was routinely clawing his palms.

It was all an exercise in control.

He was fighting against his instinct with every fiber of his being.

Even with that beautiful mind of his buried, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you again.

The throb that went through you moved away from preclusion and toward titillation.

Still absently stroking yourself, you reached your free hand out to him. When he didn’t move, you called with that trill noise.

It moved on his head where he unintentionally tried to answer.

“Come.”

He hesitated before taking a shaky step to the side.

Following him with your outstretched hand, you felt the stirrings between your legs. “Donnie, come here.”

He still hadn’t broken eye contact with your sex, but he made a wide arc to get beside you. He hunched there fighting to pull his gaze away and losing.

Drunk off his attention, you went to caress his cheek when he got into reach.

Animating out disgust, he shuddered and jerked away from you.

You’d forgotten about the slick and had smeared lube onto him.

“Ack, sorry!”

If that wasn’t a sign he was still partially himself, you weren’t sure what was. 

He whined as if mortally wounded and reached up to wipe it. It was at the last moment he thought better and whipped his head as if that could get it off.

“H-here, wait.” Looking down, you saw where he’d shredded the sheets and used a flap to clean your hand off. You then tugged a strip free and held it up.

He sneered at it before leaning fighting himself to lean in. You wiped him clean with a dry spot and he chuffed, annoyed.

“I’m sorry.” You honeyed your voice.

He took the metaphorical scent of it and dropped to his knees to nuzzle you. You could almost hear him saying something about being unable to stay mad.

He would have found a way to make it more sultry than that, but he always said things you never expected.

Giving him a quick peck, you hooked him with your closest leg.

He clicked in frustration as his knees slid against the smooth floor when he tried to get away.

You couldn’t get him far, but it was enough.

Arousal building, you saw him catch the scent as his snout directed towards it.

A faint whine came out of him along with a small line of drool where he was clearly keeping his jaw taunt.

“We can; you just have to go slow.”

He was deathly still and you reluctantly pulled your soaked fingers from yourself. With that glistening hand, you reached for his cock.

Trapped between rationale and impulse, you brushed his glans.

His cock bobbed and he tossed his head before throwing you a watery gaze.

“We can. We’re allowed.”

His head shook less with disagreement and more as if clearing his mind.

With the smallest tug that was akin to a motion on a certain commanding children’s toy, your slick hand pulled over the ridge of his glans.

Several stunted rumbles came out of him reminiscent of a storm closing in. You repeated the motion and one of his knees came an inch closer. Getting a little more of his length you began to stroke him. It was clearly easing his throbbing member and, with warbled squeaks, he edged closer and closer. Getting a full pump of his member in reach, you tried not to bring too much attention to the fact that he was back between your legs. He was slow to unfurl, but eventually he found a single grip beside one of your hips. He hunched into you there, clearly trying to take in your scent greedily without touching you.

“You’re doing amazing. So good. I’m so proud of you.”

With each stroke, he was getting closer and closer to your entrance. Chewing your lip, you fumbled in your ministration to reach for the lube bottle. There you re-wet your free hand before returning to your task. Donnie seemed unperturbed by the disruption, especially when your newly soaked hand dipped between your legs. Working both of you and appendages growing milky with pre-cum, you tried to create a tandem. It worked to an extent, but you could only grasp so much of him one-handed. It left part of him without and he tried to rock to get as much mileage as possible out of the single grip.

It was within one of these thrusts that his tip brushed you again.

Now aching for his pulsating member, you let out a small moan where he gave a sharp peep.

The sound was so high pitched, you startled.

Thinking it was the move itself, he tried to run.

Reflexively, your legs encircled him which pressed him further into your sex.

Squeaking like a rung out dog toy, a tear rolled down his cheek.

“We can!” It took every fiber of your being not to roll onto him. Slick meant your grip on his cock wasn’t firm, but you tried to hold him steady.

His gaze was shredded and you could almost hear him shout about his lack of control.

“It’ll feel good, I promise.” You stroked toward you in a treacherously slow way. “For both of us, please. For both of us.”

Through your legs you felt his hips tense to the point of almost snapping before he finally allowed the sensation.

Perfectly aligned, his spaded cockhead just barely kissed your entrance proper.

Mewling, your hips moved the slightest amount pushing on him, but holding back from forcing him in.

Mid-whine, Donnie’s voice cracked before his other hand struck the bed with a force that bounced you. Bobbing up, his cock disappeared from you before you landed again, with him sliding through your folds. It was enough to break his resolve as he pushed inward. Not rushed, you sighed as your body tried to accommodate for him. You heard heady chirps from your partner as he held still. Without either of you doing more, the lube and preparations made it so his glans popped in.

Both of you groaned at the sensation and the spread locking him in was near instant.

With a look that said he was fighting for his very life, Donnie dragged his gaze to your face. You met him with lust and leaned up to him. His forehead found yours before his gaze dropped to where you were connected. With a brush of cotton, his arms moved behind your back to support you before he began to push further in.

Groaning and chasing him by tightening your legs, he continued to fill you to a point before he flat out stopped. Trying to grind, he nipped at you before you realized he was trying to give you time to adjust. You kissed him with apology and settled back against his arms to wait. It wasn’t long before he moved again and within three more pauses he was sheathed.

You sighed dreamily at the fullness.

It was an assurance personified. 

In a bump, he knocked your head.

Chuckling at the odd move, you met his gaze and the smile fell away.

What stared back at you was deep lust and intense possession. 

The smolder scored away any latent traces of pain. 

You clenched reflexively and he gave his first approximation of a grin.

It left you confused and he had to nudge you again to get your full attention.

As soon as you gave it he made a honed chirp. A totally new noise, it seemed to strike right into your brain stem. It flooded you with a strange warmth even though you had no idea what it meant. It felt important and he nuzzled you before pressing his hips.

It was pleasure and your eyes rolled back at his restraint. Reaching out to his plastron to hang onto the top edge, you chased back and finally rolled your hips. He gave a few far too quick pumps that made you glad you had your handle. You shoved him there to slow him and he stilled with twitching resistance. Holding him there as best you could, you tried to demonstrate the pace. You had little leverage, but with his attention trained, he leveraged what you showed versus what instinct screamed. It ended in a middle man that just barely teetered on too much.

Releasing him since he seemed to have a hang on the rhythm, you slung your arms around his neck to hold on. With your foreheads glued, you felt the whetting of perspiration. His arms around you slowly pulled from the bed to carefully grip your body. You moaned louder to encourage him and without the brace, you lowered yourself to lay back. The pose affected him and he strained to a sudden halt that had his eye twitching.

You whispered sweet encouragements and reached for him. He knelt down to meet your touch and in doing so tipped his hips. For the first time in the entire evening he brushed your g-spot and you unintentionally let out a yip. Stomach doing sudden flips at the move, you completely ignored his worry and tried to give what you hoped was a sultry sound. What came out was at first pitchy, but your throat caught on something which rolled like a purr.

You felt his member throb inside you before he pulled you down onto him. You had a warning on your lips, but he fucked it off of you with metered thrusts into that bundle of nerves. Crying out your satisfaction, he descended onto you. Not about to be squished again, you fought against submitting and shoved upward. His hips stuttered, but he didn’t stop so you bit down into the junction between his neck and shoulder. Exerting as much pressure as you could, the skin broke and the taste of blood confused you.

Your partner gave a deafening squeak before his rhythm totally devolved. Clinging to him with your teeth, arms, and legs, he lost your g-spot and thrust deep inside. Whining as your build up dissipated, you could routinely feel his plastron near your clit. Diverting strength downward, you bounced your calves to tilt him. He barely obliged and the edge of his shell gave a modicum of relief.

The coil in your belly finally winding, you released your jaw only to bite down again a little to the left. Donnie responded with a devolving rotation of chirps and squeaks that screamed rapture. Nearing your peak, you again couldn’t telegraph his orgasm until he suddenly stilled. Your mouth broke free to complain when the rush of cum came. Head falling back in frustration, you caught only a snippet of his face screwed up in pleasure as your body slacked around him. Wanting to punch something from how close you had come to truly feeling good, you could sense the chart following your orgasm miss its peak. The line was in a free fall and its plummet signaled the chances might drop to zero. 

“You know what?!”

Eyes unsteady, he tried to focus on your sudden voice.

“Nope!!” You squirmed beneath him, reeling your legs in. “You’re still gonna be hard and you’re going to finish me off, damnit! Four fucking times, no way!!”

Confused, Donnie released your waist.

One of your feet hooked the edge of his carapace and you kicked there.

A warning click transformed into a groan as you used the momentum to pull off of him.

Seed leaking from both you, you backed up while one of your hands latched onto the upper lip of his plastron. You yanked hard there and he scrambled to keep himself upright as you pulled him onto the bed. Shoving his utterly confused form around, you all but tossed him into the nest he’d created earlier. You then mounted him and took him all back in so quickly he gave a version of that pained whine from overstimulation.

“More.” You growled, grabbing hold of his face so you had his attention. “Make me cum. Make me scream. Make me feel so good!” To enforce your point, you rose up and then let gravity take you back down his shaft. His lips parted and before you could rise again, he took on an understanding air. Needing to breed and take care of his mate, his arms encircled you to a near crushing hug. He then used the force to lift you up and drop you just as you had yourself. Eyes swimming, you let him set the pace until your knees ached.

Again, you were close, but it wasn’t right. Wary, as soon as you made the slightest move, he released. Tenderly grabbing his shoulders and momentarily stalling to admire your handiwork there, you used him as leverage to lift again. This time it was to reposition and you slid your legs out from under you. When you came down, you used them to encircle him, essentially straddling him cross legged. It sent him deep and at a slight angle that he could use to his advantage.

Waiting for him to pick-up on it, you went to search him when he didn’t. He instead had been working up to something as he tested a gentle roll of his hips. It stirred his cock inside you and just barely brushed that bundle of nerves. Giving a breathy sigh, you crumpled against his chest as he continued the careful ministrations. Wondering how this version of Donnie could possibly think to do this, you heard a rhythmic thump and came away a little to catch the sound. In a shift of your leg, you found it was his tail and the knowledge of his wag had you tightening both inside and out. You imagined he must have been so proud of himself, like he’d received a treat in the form of your pleasure. Swiveling your own hips to match his stroke, he gave a single thrust before he growled as if to keep himself in line.

Chuckling at that, you pulled him down for a kiss. As soon as you got him, you shoved your tongue into his mouth. Clearly confused by the action, he simply leaned into you and you sucked. It coaxed his tongue out along with rumbling crests from his chest that would break with squeaky chirps. Uncoordinated, it was your best attempt at making out yet. You held onto him as a lifeline until you felt the wrench twist. Pipe nearly fixed, you broke away with a wet pop to shift the angle. It pressed him further into your g-spot and you sang his praises by mimicking those happy chirps he kept making.

It spurned him on as he gave a few curious ones before matching yours with a fierceness that translated into his hips. You held nothing back as the final tightening occurred and you unraveled as you finally came. Outright screaming, you shuddered atop him. You lost a few seconds to nirvana before descent was encouraged by him cradling you. His sounds were nearly as euphoric as you felt and there was an honored quality to them that might have also been from your orgasmic haze.

Falling into the sheets, Donnie nudged and nuzzled you happily. Giving a faint giggle, you patted him before giving him a scratch at the apex of his jaw. He melted there, squeaky like a toy, but with ever so slight presses of his hips where his cock was still buried inside. Having to lift your head to get a proper look at him, he was poured over your body. Now knowing not to drop his weight there, he held back and stared at you with outright adoration.

“All I want to do is tell you what a good boy you were.” Scratching both edges of his jaw he wiggled slightly from the force of his tail. “Wait, I totally can. Who’s a good boy?!” You giggled, unable to keep the cutesy voice away.

Overcome, he buried his face into your chest and gave that honed chirp.

Again it struck you as deeply significant, but he lifted his head in time with an incessant thrust.

“Right back to it?” You murmured, turning the scratch into a stroke.

He watched you dreamily.

“Well, my love…” You chewed your lip at that last part, knowing that would very much not be allowed otherwise.

This particular Donnie had no idea and seemed to crave the sound of your voice among other things.

“I guess…” You held a building tone that had him pause in wait. “Good luck with breeding me.” You booped his nose, flashed him a smile, and bucked up under him.

His eyes rolled back and he gave into the motion his hips were begging him to.

Though you had seen apocalyptic movies, the speed at which you devolved after that was astounding.

After several more rounds and more cum than any one person should ever have to contend with in a whole lifetime, you gave into sleep. You had drifted off curled around your partner who had switched to full doting when he wasn’t trying to breed you with intent. It meant water and you convincing him to bring the bottles as opposed to ripping them open. You got a slew of snacks and even a can which you outright laughed when you received. He had time to build a proper nest after he’d ripped up the sheets and pillows fully to construct something more akin to what you imagine his instincts craved.

Snuggly and warm, you awoke to see sun glistening in the kitchen through the canopy drapes. That meant something to you, but it evaporated as you noticed your vision would move just a little every few seconds. Worried about vertigo, you brought your sleep addled attention down to see one of your feet bobbing in the air. Blinking off sleep, you saw Donnie had a careful grip under each of your knees where he was holding your legs up. Clearly have been fucking you gently so as not to wake you, he gave a happy trill at your attention.

“Good morning.” You clenched as you let that thought sink in.

He gave a spindly chirp and picked up the pace.

Having been nearly constantly filled, there was no way to tell how long he’d been at it. It felt like the vein where there was no approximation for how long his heat would last. With soreness a problem for future you, the current embraced the cycle which shrank to nothing but fucking, drinking, eating, and sleeping. With time already nonexistent, the only thing changing in the apartment was lighting. It again stirred you with meaning, but Donnie’s attention wiped it away each time without fail. He was cock and cum and love and you reveled in it.

It became caresses and brushes inexact, but revelatory. With moans and rolling tongues breathed life to intimacy. Sweat slicked into the fluids seasoning closeness. Greased there and slid across the grill top, your love was seared. It’s scorched surface came it grasped limbs that held on to its juices for dear life. Flavor baked in, thrusts and jostles called for more orders. Satisfaction was granted in screams, but your bellies were insatiable. The filling came uniquely, but never quenched. Drenches and yearning, you’d come away for a kiss as if that would stoke the fire.

Now that he understood you were also party breeding, the whole affair shifted to that of a combined one. For him, the most relief came from being buried inside of you. It soothed the irritation of both his ever present dick and metered his instincts. From there, besides the obvious filling, he was chasing what he must have considered your elusive high. Not always able to replicate the same results with the exact same methods, it frustrated his stunted mind. It also meant the reward was a greater one that he pursued all the more. Laviousing in non-stop pleasure, you only had to contend with his seed. You still hadn’t quite figured out why there had been a shift away from the knot, but you imagined it had to be related to the surplus. Trading one breeding technique for another, instead of locking on, his body had shifted to upping its chances another way. 

Submerged for what had to be several days based on the alternating dark and light, there was a knock at the door. You had been resting between sessions and Donnie went full guard dog. Minus the barking, he stalked out of the bedroom ready to viciously attack whoever dared come near his space. Thinking the display was quite territorial, you made it on wobbly legs to check it out. He tried to herd you back to bed with worry, but you brushed past him with little reassurances. Clearly unnerved, he tangled around your legs as you eventually made it to the peephole. There was a stack of what looked like groceries outside with a bright purple note on top.

Thinking only at the last second to not open the door nude, you clambered back to the bedroom and eventually found a shirt. Donnie had many clicking protests about that and you shooed him thinking you might need a broom. He eventually relented with a heavy grouch and you got the door open while somehow keeping him back. Dragging the conveniently tied pile in, you locked the door. Leaning against the couch and leaving Donnie to inspect the lot, you read the note.

Hey Y/N,

I hope you’re doing alright. Despite the lock-out, please know you can send an SOS anytime via either your tech gauntlet or the computer. I’m… ‘sorry’ isn’t the right word, but I don’t… Well… I could erase all this hesitation, but it might read better if I leave it in, don’t you? Basically, I think I get why you did what you did and knowing you, you know why I did the same. I care about you and I want you to be happy…

Breaking away from the page, you had to wipe away the tears that were forming before continuing.

Gushy stuff aside, I calculated you would probably be running out of food and water about now. I got you a bunch of provisions, but specifically meal replacements because I have a feeling those are SUPER necessary. Again, I’m def trying not to freak out and hope everything is fine. Please let it be fine. Love you! Shelly

Tears now flowing, you lowered the page only to find Donnie watching you with intense concern. You gave him a watery smile and were about to tell him it was okay when he turned his attention to the paper in your hand. Thinking it was the perpetrator, he tried to snatch it and you got into a minor skirmish to keep him from shredding it.

He gave up with even more pouting that he promptly forgot about as you unpacked the bags. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had seemingly thought of everything and you nibbled on a meal bar while carting similarly balanced drinks to the fridge. Stocking didn’t take long and you even got Donnie to eat something. Despite presumably losing all his bodily fluids each time he came, your boyfriend had not been taking in near enough water or food. With all his attention on you, he seemed to have no other drives outside of care and mating. It worried you, but you had first hand experience that said he wasn’t getting the least bit weaker. 

In fact, the only thing that ever seemed to wear on him was his constantly dropped cock. His literal point of weakness in many senses, it just wasn’t possible for you to always be on it. While breaks had sometimes come mutually, more often than not, it pained Donnie to pull out. It was there when he had the most slips in his coherency. He’d growl at you for moving too much if you needed him off. Thankfully, he’d return near instantly and fuss over his little lapse. You’d shush him over his worry because he hadn’t come anywhere near hurting you again; it was just that your human body could only handle so much. 

Not just obliging him, you were also enjoying yourself. It was an engulfing euphoria that made a mockery of your past marathons. The only problem was, while the mind was willing, the flesh was weak. As much as you convinced yourself time was no longer constant, that future you was looming closer with each consecutive round. The ache in not just your nethers, but your entire body began to sound at all hours. Lube helped and the magnanimous S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had had the forethought to drop off more along with his other provisions, but there was only so much it could do. The only real balm was stopping and you neither wanted to nor really had the capability. 

It mattered little when stripping life down to the bare essentials had been rapturous. Though you could never say you went the way of the kids Lord of the Flies, but you did feel a slip in which you had started to understand Donnie’s animalistic speech. It wasn’t really language as much as it was expressions of emotions. There were still a couple that were too abstract for you to identify, but you became adept at mimicking the simpler ones. Applying them pulled a near similar reaction to this Donnie as using his tech did to your usual boyfriend.  

The fun and games truly waned when, after what you had estimated to be a week had passed, your body finally began to give out. Though a breakdown had been in your periphery, the actual collapse had been swift. Every part of you ached with muscles devastated by the near constant work out. There was never enough time for repair as refractory periods were out the window. In only a slight contrast, while Donnie appeared to have held up, in actuality exhaustion was tearing him to shreds. It had taken you about five days to catch, but due to the territorial nature of his rut, you found that he wasn’t sleeping. Instead, he was compelled to keep vigil over you when you did. As his precious mate, he couldn’t risk anything happening to you and with the need to breed taking over when you were awake, he simply stayed awake at all times.

When the inevitable collapse finally occurred, you were thankful it had happened on the bed. Side by side, the two of you had basically fallen off one another after a round with Donnie especially collapsing onto his carapace. You watched with your own form of drowsiness as he fended sleep off with heavy lids for only a few seconds before he passed out slack. Snuggling close to keep your own watch, you made it only a few more minutes before succumbing yourself. When you finally came to, it was a different type of light that said you must have slept over twelve straight hours. That being the most of the entire heat, you felt especially dehydrated. Head refusing to raise, you were about to ask for water when you found your partner still asleep, now on his side.

Outside his usual form, he was curled, near fetal, except he couldn’t pull his legs up to his body. Laying out in the way as the culprit was his swollen cock. Apparently extra hard from its sudden disuse, his glans lay in a pool of pre-cum where leaked in search of its host. As you watched, you also saw the faint trickle move as you tracked his hips rocked in his sleep. Struck by the need and necessity of caring for your partner, you rolled over with great difficulty. Now facing away from him, you scooted back, minding his sleep. It took some lengthy maneuvering, but you got yourself in position. You thought touching his angry cock might wake him, but under your hold he only made a withered sound and was barely disturbed under his forced slumber.

Knowing the feeling well, you stroked his head through your folds. Having time, you let the pre-cum lubricate you before your own slick somehow managed to build. Wondering how that could be with the many sessions, you checked over your shoulder to find your mate still asleep, with only his brow ridge creased. Wanting to watch the relief wash over him, you aligned him and scooted just enough so he’d enter. To him the fill came with a dream sigh and smoothed features, while for you there was a strange mix of discomfort and solace. Thinking you had gotten a little too used to being stuffed, you made sure you were accessible before finding a comfortable position on your side.

It took a few minutes, but his dreams must have taken shape because he began to rock into you at a lazily pace. It only took slight encouragement from yourself before his tired arm came around. Biting your lip to keep silent, he pulled you flush to him as if you were a pillow. Weary, your innards were warmed with him both physically and mentally. This position required little of your body and came as easily as sleep. Nearing said precipice, it was only the nudge of his hips that kept you conscious. There was something to the sleep sex, the deep need that surpassed waking thought that stirred you. It brought a hand down to your abused clit, where you instead massaged the bundle of nerves just above it.

Orgasms as of late had either not felt like much or exaggerated the ache. This one, however, whether it be from your tired state or the possible kink, felt like it could be a pleasurably crest like a tide rolling in on a sun drenched morning. Riding that thought and Donnie in general, a little adjustment had him nuzzled against your g-spot. It had become heavily bruised in the interim, but you still throbbed at the contact.

Breathing speeding up and numbed shocks running through your wrists, you tipped back to see him once more. He seemed serene, but still knocked clean out. You couldn’t help but press an awkward kiss to his slack jaw. He pulled you a little closer and his hips picked up just slightly. Pleasured warping as exhaustion took hold, there was a blissful quality to cumming. With no exact start, the high seemed to align with you slipping into the first stages of sleep and the current carried you away to dreamland.   

The next rousing found you very much in the same position. Comfortably full, you wondered why neither of you had thought to sleep like this. Stickiness said he’d hit his own climax at some point and the tacky quality spoke to another long bout of sleep. Mouth a desert, you blearily looked and found the light of midday. Groaning at the thought, you tried to sit up when a headache quaked between your lids. Wilting, your partner stirred from where he was wrapped around you. He too seemed to test his hips first, acknowledging the connection before nosing up from the snuggle into your shoulder. He gave what you had come to know as your good morning trill, which you returned in kind. Peeling apart from one another, he hadn’t quite pulled his cock out. You mourned your lack of shower which was something Donnie had vehemently blocked as soon as you had tried to turn the knob. You’d gotten by with the sink in small spurts, but he really only let you clean your wound at most. You imagined it would take a community pool to rid yourself of your week-long soiling. 

Rubbing a hand through the oils on your skin, you felt Donnie press your connection. Giving him a shrewd smile, you cocked a brow. “Already?”

He made a needy noise that you had decided was his version of an apologetic ‘it can’t be helped.’

Nodding and still tired, you pulled him out which brought light grouchy chirps. “I’ll top. I need to stretch.”

Forcing up against every muscle group's unified protest, you felt like a scab as you turned and gently coaxed Donnie onto his back.

Trust had him rolling over and you mounted him with a press to his plastron to alert him that he was to stay down.

He obliged as his hands settled comfortably on your thighs while you straddled him. Locating one of many loose lube bottles on the bed, it took tossing two to find one with a little left. Making the most of it, you added it between the both of you before returning him to you. Sliding down onto his shaft with enough practice for what felt like ten lifetimes, he sighed, grateful.

“Good, good.” You cooed, squirming to get him settled. “We’re getting nothing but take out for like two weeks after this. All fresh food too. It’s so bad when you’re actually craving a salad.” Reaching your arms up you attempted to pop your shoulder blades while riding him.

He had a sort of smile on his face as his lower lids watched your stretching form appreciatively.

Feeling a crack and groaning loudly at the pressure release, you crossed your arms behind your head and did a roll of your neck. Donnie gave a little buck which your ground down on causing him to give a weak chirp. “My speed.” You scolded, earning yourself another crack which made you feel like jelly.

Fingers flexing on your legs, you felt his digits tracing you as you rounded out your routine arching backwards. The bend had you nearly seeing his toes before something gave and you almost wanted to collapse right there. Thinking better of it, you righted with a forward curling and found it strange when Donnie’s hand was there cupping your breast. Tracing the arm to his face found his a similar neutral. Mildly confused, he hadn’t once paid your chest any mind in what you decided had to do with a turtle's distinct lack of mammaries. 

Now that his hand was there, you thought it might be for support and you so mimicked him with appendages to his pectoral scutes. As this was definitely going to be one of those times you weren’t going to come, you made your intentions clear that you were going to lay atop him. His hand retreated and you slowly crawled your way down until your belly just touched him. There, with his dick curved into your nethers, you bounced your ass swiftly. His eyes rolled back and his fingers flew to sink into the thick of your rear. Loving his openly entranced expression, it helped bolster your continued rhythm until you felt something you hadn’t in awhile. 

The knot was clearly inflating. 

Caught off guard by the stretch, you slowed. 

Donnie gave a clear human-like groan in agony.

Eyes shooting wide, you snapped upright.

It elicited another rasping protest, something else came out of him, “Y-Y/N…”

“Donnie? Donnie!!!” Forgetting all about the act, you lunged at him. You made it all the way to his upper body before his spread glans kept you from coming right off his cock. 

He tried to crack an eyelid, but his hands pulled at your hips. 

With precision, you slid back along his plastron as he buried himself back into you.

Irritated, you fucked him there straight through to his climax.

Rushed, he nearly sobbed as you came straight off the knot with a struggling squirm. 

Free, you crawled back up to him to find his gaze surfacing. 

What stared back at you through a layer of immense exhaustion was your usual boyfriend.

“Donatello!!”

��Wha…?” His voice was raw with disuse.

“It’s you!!” Tears sprung up in your eyes. “It’s really you!!! Welcome back!!!” They loosed on your cheeks as you plied him with kisses.

“I-” There was a moment where he relished the barrage before a dozen other of his senses came online. “Ugh… your breath…” He turned his head, but you kept plying him. “No… you must stop…!”

“Donnie!!” You could only dumbly repeat. 

You buried your arms under his neck to give him a huge hug.

There was some hesitation as he held you before he went patently stiff.

Something you had grown used to, his seed was leaking out of you. From your legs, you could feel it had pooled on the flat of his plastron. Reaching critical mass, the first drips of it were oozing down his sides.

“Eugh!” His voice warped with disgust. “I…  I understand the gravity of what's happened, but you must get off-”

You squeezed him tighter, loving the sound of his voice.

“Oh…” He held the note with distorted surprise. “Oh, fuck. Off. Off!! Get off now!!!”

Order clear, you scrambled backward, only to fall to the wayside as he sat up before you were clear. “Wait, wha-?”

He stared with bleeding agony between his legs. “My dick is on fire! It burns!! Why does it burn?!”

“Yeah, you’ve been dropped for like eight or nine days.”

“I’ve been-?” Horror took place of pain and he turned to you. “It’s been how long?!”

“Over a week.” You slumped in the nest.

“We’ve been-? We need to-? Have you-?” All the thoughts seemed to rush to him at once and he got tangled in them. Needing to free himself physically, he shot for the edge of the bed.  

“I wouldn’t do tha-!”

You watched him try to get to his feet before he dropped like a stone.

“Yeah…”  

“What happened?!” His voice came up from the floor.

“A… lot… I’ll catch you up, but we both need S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. stat.”

“S.H.E.L.-?” He stopped cold and the silence was almost eerie before he spoke again with even ferocity. “Where is my P.O.P. protection?”

“Donnie-”

“Y/N.”

“One thing at a time!”

“It is one question.”

“Actually there’s been a few.”

Like a creature crawling out of a lagoon, on of his elbows flew up and dug into the mattress. He then used it to creep upwards until his face appeared. “Y/N!”

Slow and taking your time not out of pain, but tepid fury. You sauntered towards him on all fours. 

He watched you with increasing concern. 

Reaching him and putting on your own menace, you towered over him. “I have been fucked non-stop for over a week. I think that puts me in lead position, don’t you? Override the Darling Protocol lockout I initiated and get S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. here now. Then we’ll talk.”

He gave a single submissive squeak before his eyes doubled in size at what must have been a dozen alarming things.

“Good.” You collapsed back in the bed and listened as he clambered over to his computer.  

NEXT

MEGAPHONE beta screech this week. These two really put up with me! @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[ahundredtimesover]

I loved the newest chapter and I think this was the largest stepping stone for a new arc in their relationship because before they were boss x assistant purely by the books (they strayed away sometimes) but after the scene (which was my favorite) of oc helping jk go through the thunderstorm and holding onto him while he’s having his anxiety attack, and also telling him she’ll always be there to help him in the future in case it happens again, they are now in a new territory where they genuinely know something more personal about each other. I have a feeling that this scene is going to be used again and really set up what the future of their relationship will be.

I’m also dying to do know more about jk’s mom bc I know she has a way bigger role than he’s letting on😣

ANDDDD namjoon🤭 im so excited she met him and researched his company because IF she does decide to go work there, it’ll be such a good change for her and she already loved the library so much and she helps so much w the decor aspect of the company, she’d fit right in. PLUS knowing how she thinks, there’d be no “romance” between her and joon since she doesn’t really like office romance minus jk. But I’m just excited to see her do something for herself and not be held back because life is only so short

AND the endinggggggg… im not as mad as other people because i got the feeling that JK didn’t move away as a form of breaking her heart or trying to put a boundary between them:

“He looks at you in panic, in apology, in fear, as if he’d had some sense knocked into him, as if he awakened from some spell that pushed him close to you, only to realize that that’s a place he can’t go. “

I think this part is essential because it shows us (to oc) that he looks apologetic to back away as if he didn’t mean to, but it’s a reflex. We know he doesn’t have a good history with relationships re:chaerin and he’s been living the life of a bachelor for years now, so finally feeling more than sexual attraction to someone who has proved to him that she is there for him in the emotional aspect too?? Yeah I’d run😅

I know there’s going to be a lot of angst before they finally stop being idiots but honestly, her being the assistant to him is definitely a huge barrier and idk much about South Korea work environment but I think that’s a huge power imbalance? (Even if I don’t think so because we already know oc runs him more than he runs her🙄) and it’d be frowned upon. Granted, I know they’d keep their relationship a secret in the beginning, but when they are finally a full fledge couple, she won’t be his assistant anymore, so I’m so excited to see what’s to come.

Oc already shot her shot, now it’s in jk’s hands, but I fear he’ll cause some issues before he finally comes to terms with it😑😑😑

But thank u Mimi for this story I love it so much, it genuinely gives me the feeling of reading a kdrama script because of how detailed it is and your world building is surreal🫶, I can’t wait to see what’s more to come of this story

AHHHH I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCH BUT THIS IS A FAVE PART:

he’s been living the life of a bachelor for years now, so finally feeling more than sexual attraction to someone who has proved to him that she is there for him in the emotional aspect too?? Yeah I’d run😅

YES YES! Like, it’s one thing for him to think the feeling isn’t reciprocated, but to realize that it might be and what that would entail, it’s like, SHIT WHAT DO I DO!

The thing with this story - as reflected in OC’s, JK’s, Mr Ri’s Yoongi’s experiences - is that love isn’t straightforward and neither are relationships. We already know that JK and OC like each other but it’s not that simple. People deal with things that hinder their feelings from being expressed properly and received the way they intend. Things aren’t easy and sometimes they shouldn’t be. Like you also say, there’s going to be lots of angst before they stop being idiots and that’s what I intended as well 🤭 hence that idiot to lovers tag

On your point about SK work environment, I did search that such relationships are looked down upon (but idk someone can enlighten the audience hehe) but I tried to stray away from that (tho I’m not a proponent of it haha) which are both why I show how the MCs are so against it and are adamant about their boundaries. But at this point they just can’t resist each other but like I said, idiots. 😅 there’s Srsly like, a whole other aspect to the entire story that I’m not sure if u guys are ready for 🙃🙃

But we push on! Thank you so much for reading and sending this (love love hearing your guys’ analysis and theories and stuff) 💕💕

[kyogre-blue]

Roundup of manhwa I've been catching up on and/or rereading recently. These are unfortunately mostly on Asura Scans, so linking or bookmarking them is useless. I really hate that about their site.

The scores are in regard to what I expect of the overall genre, not general quality per se. I'm not expecting deep, profound writing here. The range is A to F, with A being an easy recommend, B having some flaws but also having some really strong points that make it worth reading, C being extremely average, not terrible but not really doing anything well enough to recommend, and D being largely a waste of time. F is for outright offensive. But there won't really be many failing grades on this list because I just drop them and forget lol. Plus minus is based on my personal enjoyment.

Return of the Disaster-Class Hero, ch74 - Rank: B+. I really enjoyed it, but it's just that the different aspects are overall passable to good (art, humor, battles), plus it has some presence given to supporting characters (Hugo, Sungjae) and relationships, which I happen to enjoy. Additionally, the story actually advances, which can't be taken as a given lol... Unfortunately, the manhwa has been on hiatus since Aug 2023 due to the artist's health and later passing. It's unclear whether it will continue, or how it will look or progress if it does.

The Novel's Extra, ch93 - Rank: C. I was initially going to rank it higher, but while the art is nice and the characters are passable, the pacing is a mess. I genuinely couldn't tell you what the direction of the story is even supposed to be, despite how many chapters it's been. Have we even advanced at all here? I sure don't know.

The Protagonist's Younger Sister, ch33 - Rank: B, though this notably has the lowest chapter count here by a wide margin. Cute story and I like the protagonist family. It's just that it has always updated very slowly, and I'm not even sure it's still updating, so the pacing feels dragged out even if it's actually fine as a whole. But like I mentioned separately, the story has only just passed basic setup, so I don't even know for sure where it's going in the long term.

SSS-Class Suicide Hunter, ch113 - Rank: A. If I have to pick a manhwa I consider most overall impressive among those I've read, it would probably be this one. It has a very strong sense of its protagonist and what it wants to say, and it uses very distinctive arcs with strong supporting characters to do it. The murim arc was obviously a standout, but I think the romance genre arc that is wrapping up was impressive in what it dared to do. They really said "yeah, the protag falls in love and gets married, this is part of his growth as a person." I genuinely did not expect that they would go through with it and let him actually stay married. That's a thing they did. In general, this is just a very solid story, and I hope they are able to adapt it in its entirety, though that will probably take years to come.

I’m a Martial Art Villainess but I’m the Strongest!, ch92 - Rank: B. This one has a female lead (and thus a prominent romance) but it also does a lot of fight scenes and training and stuff like that. The fairly unusual (in my experience) combination of elements works well for me, though the actual contents are fairly average, nothing amazing or terrible, just okay enough. I think my biggest take away aside from the genre combination is the ML's big boobas. I seriously want the MC and ML to bang, they deserve it.

Ending Maker, ch56 - Rank: B. Actually, this one hasn't had any progress since I caught up on the TLs a while back, but I wanted to note it. I like how much focus is given to the relationship between the MC and his love interest, and I don't really have any major complaints. However, I hope they're able to flesh out the plot going forward. It's been very "go to a place, get a thing" without really giving any major weight to anything that's happened, and the supporting characters haven't really left an impression either.

The Duke's Redemption, ch50 - Rank: B-. This one also hasn't updated since I caught up on it a while back, but adding here. Pros: strong focus on the relationship between the MC and the duke, setup for potentially interesting conflict with Serpens not being chosen as the hero per the OG plot. Cons: art is kinda mid, the actual story so far has been largely filler or not very interesting in and of itself. They've built up the foundation of Shion and Serpens as a relationship, but the stuff around that could have been done a lot better.

Doctor's Rebirth, ch150 - Rank: C+, though that's being generous tbh. It is the definition of extremely mid. However, it does make me lol at least somewhat regularly about how gay the entire supporting cast is toward the MC. Truly peak shounen experience. Whether it's his master, his master's assistant (love triangle), the original novel's demonic hero protag, secondary novel villains A through D... they all want him so bad. It's very funny to me personally.

The Extra is Too Strong, ch50 - Rank: D+. I'm adding the plus purely because I spend a lot of time lolling about how buff absolutely everyone is. This includes the one notable female side character and background female characters. That aside, I'm curious what they're going to do with the original novel's protag. He's mentioned several times and with quite a bit of detail about what his deal was, plus he has a non-standard design, so I feel like we will eventually meet him and something is planned for that.

Return of the 8th Class Magician, ch81 (complete) - Rank: C. I know there's other series with a very similar title, so to be clear, this is the one where the MC has long light brown hair (lol) and regresses uses dragon tongue. A complete story that has no particular flaws, but tbh I don't think it has any particular strengths either. The thing I remember most about it is that, around chapter 60 or so, there is a note from the artist that directly says they're about to start deviating from the novel they're adapting. Immediately the main villain is introduced, dragon lore gets updated, and the MC's father is brought up, so you can just tell, yeah, his father is going to be a dragon. And he is. I didn't have any issues with the manhwa-original (presumed) ending, it was done more smoothly than I would have expected, but the whole story just didn't serve anything to make me really excited. Fine read tho, if you've got some time to kill, and the MC is quite pretty.

Trash of the Count’s Family, ch121 - Rank: C. The art is nice, and I liked the initial sections, but the pacing is a mess and nothing meaningful seems to happen. The biggest issue is probably that the MC is just not a type I care for, and the supporting characters don't feel like they're fleshed out enough to stand on their own. The entire story, with over a hundred chapters, has been just endlessly picking up power-ups in preparation for the supposed war, but 120 chapters in and we're still not to the actual war, so... I do think that I'm finally seeing the appeal of the crown prince, so there's that.

The Newbie is Too Strong, ch90 - Rank: C-. This is also a pretty basic series, but the popoi are cute, the MC doesn't annoy me, and I am legitimately interested in the plot mysteries. Also, it does seem to be promising to introduce some recurring side characters in the future, so there is some room to grow.

Overpowered Sword, ch88 - Rank: C. It's a shounen, functionally. I enjoy it in a brain off way, and I will say that I first shipped Leon with Eclid, but now I keep thinking that Karen is good, I ship Karen. However, it has a weakness in that the arcs aren't particularly interesting in themselves. Not enough emphasis on fucked up backstories for the villains and new allies, I guess. Shounen runs on fucked up backstories.

Of All Things, I Became a Crow, ch107 (complete) - Rank: C+. This is a female lead transmigration romance. It's cute! I like it well enough and it's complete. Not really a lot else to say.

[caitchercatlady]

Ranking Asian Dramas of 2024: Winter

YouTube community posting is not going to be enough to share my opinions on dramas that I watched this year. Instead, I will share them here. Then, I realized that a Tumblr post won't be enough, but I still want to post here anyway. No matter, it's time for plan C: Posting in parts! What you will see first will be all of the dramas that aired in winter 2024 (some that aired in December of 2023 that finished in 2024, not to get confused). First, let me introduce you to my ranking system, which seems self explanatory.

Where’s the Replay Button?

They Got the Bag

Good For What it Was

Wanted to like but it has eh?

Why did I even Finish this?

With that noted, let's get started. (BTW, these will be in order of when they first aired.)

I Became the Lead in a BL Drama (Premiered Dec 24, end Jan 2nd; Where’s the replay button?)

If this wasn’t my favorite drama of the year, what was going to be? Episode one pulled me in for a loop by first making me think that this is going to be a shy child star and hot new celebrity trope when in reality the hot mysterious celebrity is actually a closeted fan of the child star whose dream just came true. Thankfully, he’s not saesang crazy because he remembers that he has a reputation to uphold, but that doesn’t make the romance any less cute whenever Yuichiro and Hajime are together. I honestly wished this series was longer, but I’ll rewatch it someday anyway.

Patisserie Mon (Premiered Jan 3; Wanted to like but it has eh?)

Truthfully, I found out Perth was in this, and I wanted to binge every moment that he was in it. To be fair, the side characters, minus FL’s friend, were the best part of the show. The love triangle ruined the main characters for me. Isamu for the win! That opening theme slaps hard AF though. I will play the whole thing from start to finish each episode. (I've been putting it on full blast since I found it on Spotify!) The ending was also very wholesome; Not gonna lie.

Intern in My Heart (Premiered Jan 10; They Got the Bag)

I was very worried that a show like this wouldn’t take a younger man/older woman romance seriously, but lo and behold, I was wrong! I was very happy that Ray and Rin (and the side characters as well) were treated like normal people in this drama. I mean, Ray is not normal because of his foresight powers, but when it comes to the romance, age didn’t play some comedic trope that made the two so awkward. It wasn’t awkward in the slightest as a matter of fact.

Blue Spring Ride Season 2 (Premiered Jan 19; Wanted to like but it has eh?)

I completely forgot that the first season aired in the last year, so that’s why I didn’t review the first season at that time. Admittedly, as a person who read both the manga and watched the anime, I was kinda thinking that events jumped around and about for this anime to have more drama in it. Maybe I’m misremembering and that the racing is just really fast. Honestly, maybe I preferred this because at least we get more story with Futaba and Kou. Now, onto Season 2. So we go from getting the boy to a stereotypical love triangle done always wrong all for the sake of “romantic trouble plot.” Also, minor student falls in love with adult teacher. Jesus, you would think that this drama would’ve cut that out, right? We’re in 2024 for god’s sake. Trying to finish this series for the sake of this post was absolutely painful to watch. It’s convincing me to not read the rest of the manga if it’s going to be like this, and that’s sad because the anime and manga had me in a heart grip.

Legend of Mermaid: Human Love (Premiered Jan 22; Wanted to like but it has eh?)

To be clear, I really didn’t want to watch this because the effects are pretty bad, especially the CGI fox demon and how goddamn slow the fight scenes are, but I was watching this as a part of my Mermaids in Asian dramas video, so I had to watch it from start to finish I absolutely regret it with how hokey it was. Oh well, at least I watched it on YouTube for free. Also, once you actually get into the movie, the plot intrigue really isn’t that bad. However, the mermaid concept as the title states, doesn’t exactly exist, so as a partial romance, the story falls flat, but as a mystery fantasy, it does better.

Happy Ending (Premiered Jan 25; They Got the Bag)

It was very cute for a short series. Very romantic at that. Kinda wished it was a full series for me to get into it more, but they got the bag for audiences to be attracted by it.

Anti-Reset (Premiered Feb 2; Good for What it Was)

Logically, this drama shouldn’t make sense, but I watched it because the premise reminded me of Absolute Boyfriend, the manga from the early 2000’s. The story was pretty predictable, which I expected from something like this, but Yi Ping and Ever 9 were just so cute together. If the show was just about the two of them and no side characters who try to break them apart, I would’ve had a more enjoyable experience than I already had. The ending broke my heart 100%. I thought I would be ready for what I was about to watch, but I was so wrong.

My Piggy Boss (Premiered Feb 2; Wanted to like but it has eh?)

This is Beauty and the Beast. Usually, you can’t make Beauty and the Beast boring, but somehow, they did. Xiao Zhu as Belle is like Emma Watson’s version of Belle, and I’m not happy to see it. I normally like stories where the jerk warms up to the female lead, but his change felt unwarranted because the FL was so unapologetically boring.

Kun in the Distant Ocean (Premiered Feb 11; Why Did I Even Finish This?)

Someone in the comments of MDL said that they believed the script to this movie was written by AI. After watching so many bad Chinese drama shows and movies this year, I wouldn’t be surprised anymore. Again, this was for the mermaid drama video, and movies like this make me regret the experiment in the first place. Everything about this movie felt wrong. Why was the character and plot all over the place?

[sullustangin]

SWTOR 7.3 Feedback

Non-spoilery stuff first

No technical glitches that I experienced on two playthroughs on Pubside.  Minus one or two moments with Odessen NPCs wandering around, nothing broke the game or immersion.  All the quests worked for credit; I had the weekly for Ruhnuk not work the time round, so this was nice. 

I am aware that there are some financial changes they’re trying to patch back.  Basically, too much is being charged between trades with other players directly and when mailing to alts.  Also!  There is now a 30-day cooldown period between joining a guild and being able to access the guild bank. So get those alts in sooner rather than later, especially if you plan on raiding/doing group stuff with them.

On the Gunslingers and Snipers you now have a 2% per 3 seconds passive heal while in cover  -- level 64 option.  This is a big deal for survivability for these two classes.  I ran dailies and set my companion to DPS.  I had to pause and heal the comp after combat, not myself.   No more glass cannon, but this might be nerfed soon, since it’s a little op.  I’m going to have fun with it while I can.

If you love the Mantellian Privateer or Mira’s Armor from KOTOR II but can’t afford either on Cartel Market, good news:  the Mira set from Bounty Association (the event that comes around every 1-2 months) is now unlockable in collections.  So if you have a Mando char that goes hard on Bounty week, you now have a new cert sink + unlock with Cartel Points for the whole account.  There are some subtle differences in the outfits for the discerning Space Barbie player.

The Date Nights don’t happen in this patch; I would guess it will probably be activated during Night Life in July. Speculation on my part, though

Non-Spoilery Plot Stuff:  A lot of characters that we had the previous option to kill are present in this patch.  This really gives me hope for future content; I previously complained that Bioware was writing to the deadest version of the game (where they assume everyone is dead and only work with Lana).  We got A LOT of coverage with ‘optional’ characters, so this does give me hope for the future writing: assume everyone is alive, and some people get less content.  I’ll talk about what that means later for this patch.

Onward to spoilery stuff.

Torian does get an Alliance alert, which his ba’vodu Eva answered; this is unromanced I feel good about the Torian piece I just reblogged, because it seems consistent with what we see here.  Torian thought the drama over his father was over, the shame was done, the name redeemed -- and there is all is, resurrected from the dead.  Even more content with our neighborhood Mando really does make me want equivalent content with Vette; given that (shitty) decision was almost 7 years ago now and we JUST got a storyline with payoff for that choice, Vette needs some love now, romantic or platonic, beyond Date Night. 

The only downside to letting Torian live at the moment, especially if you’re a smug or bh, is that you lose quality screen time with Akaavi Spar on Ruhnuk. She comes to your rescue in the final fight.  I also feel as if this scene should have been back with the 6.2 content drop, when the banner is first stolen, but it does work here as well, with the burning of it compounding all of Torian’s feelings about his history. 

While Eva does hate that burnt tater thot, the content for Arcann was really good.  I actively wonder if they are pulling things from the aborted third KotXX expansion.  THIS is the character development many of us wanted to see before romancing him: we wanted to see the realization of what he’d done, the desire to fix things, the acknowledgement it may never be enough for some people.  Ding Ding Ding!  I did view both versions of the Darth Nul investigation -- I killed him on DS Eva and let him live on my sunshine and Rainbows LS smug Dyo -- and the version with Arcann in it is so much better.  You also get an additional scene with him; romanced folks get a hug! 

Like the Torian scene, this Arcann development probably should have been earlier in the plotline, but WAAAAY earlier -- like 6+ years.  I think before the romance trigger, most definitely, but at least by the time of Nathema, especially if the Commander takes any of his advice to heart regarding Theron.  I think this falls to fan fic writers to fix, in terms of char dev. 

As I mentioned above, both of these guys are killable.  And they got some great content this patch.  The story feels better with both of them in it. 

As for our dynamic duo, Lana and Theron do show up and play a vocal role with Shae in regard to the interrogation of Malgus.  Theron does get to call Shae out on her working with Malgus to sack Coruscant 2x years ago (I have no idea what year we’re in since COVID screwed everything up).  We also get wonderfully protective partners in Lana and Theron.  Theron makes a comment that the work among other “benefits” keep him young if you’ve romanced him -- poor Lana.  There is noticeable smoldering going on between him and the romanced PC.  Theron does provide significant dialogue content and reaction shots, even though he’s killable.  And of course you get a Theron letter, which alludes to Date Night.  In sum, I don’t think Theron was at all side-lined compared to Lana.

The one weak part of all this is the tenuous connection between the Voss and Malgus’s plans.  In part, it’s becacuse Sana Rae had to be on Voss and decided to kill a few birds with one stone (or one Commander).   It boils down to a vision in which the PC saves the galaxy again.  We do get the tidbit that if we outright kill Malgus, things happen faster, but ‘things’ are ‘inevitable.’  Some of the ‘mundane’ quests verge on the ridiculous, but Star Wars always stomps on character hubris when it can. 

Did I enjoy going back to Voss?  Yup.  Did it make sense, given the nature of the Arcann content?  Yup; if you didn’t spare Arcann, this feels more contrived than if you did, in my opinion.  If I recall correctly, Voss was supposed to be visited in an earlier expansion but that was also canned. 

The transition from Bioware to Broadsword may be bringing old things back to life to ‘finish’ the game -- or start a new beginning.  I remain optimistic.  I will say that the old story of Voss and the new story post Eternal Empire does spin together well.

Good patch, in my opinion, minus the issues with the economic system that are ongoing.

[pristina-nomine]

so my knowledge about her is entirely limited to your posts, but may I request ophélie from la passe miroir for the character ask? 💌 very curious about this series!

Ah, I'm so happy that my posts got you curious about it ✨ (I’m also so sorry for the super late reply, but this week stuff just kept happening and I haven’t had a moment to write anything) Anyway! Thanks for allowing me to indulge in more obnoxious gushing u.u

Favorite thing about her: that she's devoid of any sentimentalism, even if the plot constantly puts her through super angsty scenarios. And that in her character arc of opening up to others and accepting the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, this part of her never really changes; she comes to realize that feelings are not necessarily melodramatic, that she can love and love deeply, but always in her own way

Least favorite thing about her: even though I really like the general theme of Thorn’s wounds running too deep to be magically cured by him falling for Ophélie, at times in tome 3 I did wish she wasn’t that accommodating to him. Which, again, is a fundamental point of her personal growth and objectively well done (and he’s like. very much accommodating to her as well), but there are a couple of specific scenes where it rubs me the wrong way a bit, can’t help it

Favorite line: Il n’avait pas le droit!!!! Character thesis statement. Iconique. Also, given that the whole series is her internal monologue, honorary mention to the resolve moment in the final paragraphs of tome 1

brOTP: so many to choose from, so I’ll go with: the scarf. Unironically one of my favorite characters.

OTP: Thorn, of course. I love that they’re one and the same obstinate communication disaster, that he realizes it almost immediately and does nothing at all to shy away from or hide his feelings, while she needs to go through her whole journey to understand and accept this new part of herself. Excited to read in which other way they’ll misunderstand each other in tome 4! (I’m not actually. Let them be content, at least for a while, please)

nOTP: given that Ophélie notp-ies herself with everyone aha I'd say Renard, Archibald, anyone of the dudes she forms a strong friendship with, basically (I’m not as opposed with the gals for some reason? But I’m also very monogamous with my ships, so still ain’t it)

Random headcanon: this may be more of a general lore thing because I also apply it to other characters, but the use of "of Anima" - ie the place she comes from - as a surname stand-in, Middle Ages style (mainly because I hate tagging characters with only their first name so I had to make something up aha)

(Wait, now that I think about it, they do use the Family Spirits names in the wedding ceremony... that's pretty much the canon equivalent of a surname... well, there goes my headcanon)

Unpopular opinion: welp, I don't even know what the popular opinions are, the fandom here is so minuscule aha. One thing may be that I'm very adamant about her being in her early twenties, or 19 at least? If she was a teen her uneasiness about romance/sexuality and frustration at feeling "half a woman" and "a child" simply wouldn't hit as hard

Song I associate with her: Alice's Theme by Danny Elfman!!

Favorite picture of her: this picture of an Edwardian young lady who looks precisely how I see her with my mind's eye, minus the scarf

Bonus: these stunning portraits by @fantasy-seal and Ilenia Pastore

[hamliet]

I haven't read the Bridgerton books, I only know the show. But I have seen some quotes out of context and most of the male interests seem so misogynistic, Benedict and Philip most noticeably. What's your opinion? Should anything in their stories change?

Well...

There are some uncomfy scenes. Regarding those--

On the one hand, they're bodice-rippers (a type of romance genre), so it's par for the course. It's what people sign up for, the way if you watch a James Bond movie you're pretty sure Bond is gonna kill some bad guys but it doesn't mean you endorse murder.

On the other, parts of the books have aged poorly, and the one "poorly aged" part that the show kept in they did not handle any better: Daphne's assault of Simon. A girl who is raised to know nothing at all about sex and to deny her desires, whose only teacher is her husband who then keeps her in the dark for his own purposes, using her ignorance against her, assaulting someone and not understanding the true horror of what she's done? Not unrealistic (a lot of fundamentalist marriages go like this). The problem is that the book, and the show for that matter, didn't deal with this in any kind of meaningful way.

For Philip/Eloise and Benedict/Sophie...

I think Eloise's character is already quite different than in the books, and I'm not that worried about her story. I also think Philip gets a bit of a bad rap in that some of the assessments of his character are really... bad faith? and I don't read those scenes in the same way, and don't think they're intended to be read that way. I read it as someone who is in way over his head with a family he didn't ask for thanks to him trying to be honorable and live up to his brother's legacy and father's expectations, and who suffers because of society's misogyny and expectations of a man (that he doesn't live up to).

I think the book should largely be the same plot-wise, minus how Marina dies (I just don't want her to go out like that). I do think they'll modify aspects of it so that Philip's support of Eloise is emphasized, and the toll the patriarchy and expectations take on him should also be emphasized. (Also, notably, Philip is like the only male Love Interest who is not like... a rake and I would like the show to comment on that.)

For Benophie, I've already said I would really like them to make Sophie a dude. However, based on casting calls, she won't be, and that's fine--I still feel like they'll adapt aspects of fluidity into it, like Sophie dressing up as a man for the ball. I'm just nervous about how they'd handle things like the attempted assault. If they keep it a sexual thing, then they are going to need to handle that well, and based on how they handled the Daphne-Simon thing, I don't think they will handle it well. So I would prefer them to remove the sexual motive from the assault.

The "be my mistress" idea also works much, much better with Sophie as a dude, honestly, because it removes the misogynistic look of it. But, if Sophie is still a woman and they play their cards right, they can directly address the misogyny of their world in a Benophie story. So, we shall see.

[im-akira]

Joel Miller x F!Reader | 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 | 🌿

Chapter 6 : Memories | Chapter 7 | Summary

Series Summary : Joel Miller is no longer the same man after losing his entire family, except his little brother. A few months later, after saving Ellie from the Fireflies. He now lives in a community of survivors with Ellie and her younger brother, Tommy.

He has only one goal, to ensure his own survival and that of those he loves. Until the day he crossed paths with a young woman and her son in the community. The young woman’s face was particularly familiar.

Are you and Joel strangers or are you a lot more than that ?

Warnings : Mature content angst, smut, romance, blood, violence...

Do not : Claim, Repost, Copy, or Translate my stories anywhere else.

Notes : Reference to certain scenes of the series and the game. If some things bother you, inconsistent in my story, do not hesitate to tell me this will allow me to improve ! 😊

I apologize in advance but English is not my mother tongue. 💙

~*.♪。★*・゜・＊♪*.♪。★*・゜・＊♪*.♪°~

- « James ? » Ellie was returning from a morning patrol. Dina and Jessy and others had accompanied him during his shift. A rather pleasant awakening for the young teenager. James, for his part, was doing his best to help residents in Jackson during the weeks following the party. Many adults had left town to go out and deal with the potential danger outside the walls. A horde had been spotted a few miles from town.

Y/N stayed with Maria to help her prepare for some activities. With many parents absent today, James volunteered to change the minds of Jackson’s children. This choice had particularly surprised him himself, but he wanted it, it was not an opposite to pass the time.

The day then began with a snowball fight in the park. James wanted to start with a more fun activity for the kids from the start, attacking something more theoretical would have been more of a failure than anything else. It will come later in the day, James like the children had the right to enjoy the good weather.

- « Do you have a minute ? » She asked, raising her voice to get James's attention. Ellie leans on the fence of the park where James and the other children were.

- James had heard Ellie's voice, he picks up the snow on the ground to form a snowball, enough to defend against the children. Before he even got up to prepare his attack, he received three snowballs in the chest. « Give me a minute and I'm all yours. I just have to send a message to some people. »

Ellie stared wordlessly at the attitude James portrayed with the children in the park. He didn't know them, he had no connection with them, and yet he was there and paid a lot of attention, with a smile on his face. It's as if James has been doing this all his life, being in contact with children didn't seem like a complicated task for him.

The truth is, every child reminds James of his sister's zest for life.

- Once James has settled the account of the children that he had thrown the snowballs at him, he will come forward in the direction of Ellie. Of course, even if he had his back to the children, he certainly wasn't going to let his guard down. « So Ellie, what did you have to ask me ? »

- « I- » Before she can answer the question, she gets a snowball in the face. Quickly, she pulls the sleeve of her jacket against her face to get rid of the snow and the cold against her face. « Hé ! I am not playing ! »

- « What is this mess ?! » James quickly turns to the group of children. He didn't even pay attention to the words he just said out of anger. Either way, it was too late to go back on his words.

- « Cause you're a chicken ? Ha ha ! » The children laugh together at the situation.

- « I hate that kid… » Ellie was mumbling words that only James could hear.

- « Revenge would be well deserved, wouldn't it ? »

- Ellie jumps over the fence to join James and prepare for the battle ahead. « You better run really fast ! »

- « On the attack ! »

For more than ten minutes, James, Ellie and the children had a big snowball fight. Neither side emerges victorious, until James delivers the final blow to one of the children who thought he was too well hidden to see. Bad luck for him, James had already observed the area and the potential hiding places.

- « Hé ! It's not fair ! » The child protests his defeat against the adults.

- « Each in turn, right ? »

- « Go ahead and catch it ! »

- « What the- » The children come out of their hiding places one by one and quickly throw themselves on James, throwing him on the ground. Through the move, James fell straight onto his back, luckily for him no injuries were reported. The snow had cushioned the fall « Let go of me, little monsters ! This is cheating ! »

- Ellie smiled at the scene unfolding before her eyes. She could have helped him, but instead she turns on James and joins the attack with the kids. Throwing herself on him, she tries to block him with the other children. « You're in trouble, James ! »

- « Ellie ! What are you doing ? You weren't supposed to be on my side ? » James laughed at his own words. Even if he had several children on him, that wouldn't stop him from getting rid of them very quickly. But surprisingly, his body told him to stay in this position and enjoy.

Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from Ellie and the other children could only bring happiness to James. He would never have thought of the fact that this activity ends like this.

On Joel's side...

Joel was walking around town, taking a short break after helping his brother with some houses that were being built right in the middle of town. He didn't really have a place in particular to land, just enjoying the fresh air was more than enough.

This atmosphere, so special and at the same time familiar, reminds him of the good old days.

Joel's attention shifted to a hubbub that was heard in the distance, it wasn't very far from where he was. He then decided to walk towards this famous noise, and there he did not expect to see the scene that was happening before his eyes.

Was he dreaming ? Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him ? But at first glance, this scene was very real.

Ellie and James play with other children. It was... Joel didn't have the words to describe what he was feeling, but one thing was certain, he was reassured to see it. It was the first time in months that he had seen a smile on Ellie's face. He also discovered another side of his son, happy to be with children.

His breathing was heavy, his lips quivering on their own, leaving him unable to say a word. His body would fall soon if Joel didn't leave the stage. But he just stood there, watching the scene without a word.

Then something else appeared, a memory.

It was when James was still a little baby. Sarah was old enough to take care of her little brother. It was on the most tiring nights that Y/N and Joel were completely exhausted. They gave so much that week that none of them had the courage to stand up.

But Sarah was there to help them, she doesn't mind doing her big sister role at all. She could take advantage of this time to share it with her little brother.

As for the young couple, Joel slept soundly, unlike Y/N who was quite restless that night. The young mother was particularly surprised to hear nothing, no crisis, nothing, silence. Usually, James would have started crying by now.

She then got up from her position in the bed, and looked at the crib. To make sure what she was seeing, she left the bed and moved forward. Y/N thought her heart was going to stop, James was gone, her baby was gone.

- The young mother will then throw herself on the bed and shake Joel to try to wake him up fairly quickly. « Joel, honey, please wake up... »

- « Mmh... » Joel just moved through the sheets, but nothing more, he was still in the arms of sleep. Then, when Y/N put a lot more pressure on his arms, Joel almost woke up with a big jump. « What is t- » Before he finishes his words, his wife puts her hand to his lips, to make him understand not to speak loudly.

Even through the darkness of the room, worry and fear could be seen on his face.

- « James is no longer in his crib… I.. I think someone entered the house, there is noise in the living room. » Y/N held her husband’s arm firmly and her eyes were one with his. His whole body was ready to decompose if Joel wasn’t standing by his side.

- « Hé hé, breathe, it's alright, baby. I'm here. We're going to take it easy and see what's going on in our house. Okay ? » Joel speaks in a low voice, in a very calm and soft tone to calm the atmosphere in the room. His thumb caresses the top of his hand gently. Joel was just as scared as his wife, but he had to keep it to himself to reassure her that everything was fine. « Let's go but in silence, Mmh ? »

Y/N nods slowly at Joel's words and gets up from the bed to gently place his feet on the bedroom floor. Joel will do the same and walk very lightly to the exit. Y/N was right behind him, holding his hand tightly.

Once out, Joel quickly takes a look at Sarah's room, the door was open and it looks like the room is empty. His breathing increased, but despite that, he couldn't pull back to understand what was really going on with him. He could feel Y/N's trembling hand in his. He treads cautiously and tries to remain as discreet as possible.

The further they go, the easier it is to hear the noise in the living room. Sarah's voice was there, but no baby crying. It's once they've reached halfway up the stairs that the two adults are almost speechless at the scene that's happening in their living room.

Sarah had James on her lap, she had also retrieved her father's guitar to try and get James to play the instrument.

- Y/N gently releases Joel's hand and walks past him to finish down the stairs. Then standing in the center of the living room, looking in the direction of her daughter and her son. « Sarah, honey, what are you doing so late with your brother ? »

- Sarah had not noticed her parents at the time. That’s when she saw that she had lost James' attention. He raised his hands to something and at the same time tried to get out words that were not really understandable. Sarah looks up and sees her parents in the living room. « Mom ? Dad ? »

- Joel was standing right next to Y/N, with his arms resting against his broad chest. « Did you hear your mother's question ?» He wasn't mad at his daughter, it was the exact opposite. Seeing them together with his guitar could only make him happy and proud.

- « James started crying a few times and as I couldn’t hear any movement on your side, I got up to see what was going on. You were both asleep. » James puts his intention on the musical instrument, his little fingers run clumsily on the strings, bringing out a false sound. « I pulled him out of his crib and couldn’t calm him down, so I tried something with him. »

- Sarah's gaze was on her brother, she looked at him with a great look at the gestures he made on the guitar. It was far from perfect, but he was having fun and that was the main thing. « When I had nights where I had a lot of nightmares, dad had the idea of ​​playing the guitar for me to try to relax me and scare away the bad thoughts. It worked. So I thought I should try with James. »

Joel and Y/N looked at each other, Joel smiled, then removed his arms from his chest and directed them towards his children. The young mother looks at him and tries to figure out what he was going to do now. He gently runs his hand through Sarah's and then James's hair.

- Joel sat down on the sofa, right next to Sarah and James. The little angel looked up at his father, Sarah looked up too. « Give me the guitar, honey. »

Y/N also came forward to join his little family on the couch. She had settled on the other side of the sofa, right next to her children. Sarah lands wordlessly with her brother in her arms against her mother's chest. Faced with this gesture, the young mother puts her arms around her children and draws them towards her. His chin is now just above Sarah's head.

Joel immortalized this moment in his memory. He will never thank God enough for giving him this chance, this family here. Once properly settled and facing his family, Joel began to put his fingers on the guitar strings.

James was watching carefully what his father was doing, his mouth hanging open, his body shaking slightly. One of his small hands held his mother's finger, and next to it was firmly held by his sister's arms.

- « Hey, sweet little angel. Daddy's here, he won't leave. Watch him play, one day you'll be as good as him. » Y/N comes and rubs James' belly with little rounds, saying that the guitar has had an effect. Sarah was smiling at her brother's behavior and was happy to see him react this way.

The guitar healed them both.

And then Joel started to sing and play his fingers on the strings, a soft sound could be heard.

Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind,

Tethered to another and you're worried all the time,

You always knew the melody but you never heard it rhyme,

She's fair and she is quiet, Lord, she doesn't look like me,

She made me love the morning, she's a holiday at sea.

She filled my life with color, cancelled plans and trashed my car,

But none of that is ever who we are,

Outside of my windows are the mountains and the snow,

You were not an accident where no one thought it through,

The world has stood against us, made us mean to fight for you,

And when we chose your name we knew that you'd fight the power, too.

You're nothing short of magical and beautiful to me.

Ooooh...Ooooh...

- James was the first to react when the song ended. Joel placed his guitar against the other armchair in the living room and then moved forward to meet up properly with his family on the couch. Faced with his son's agitation, he grabbed James from Sarah's arms to land him on his lap. Sarah watched her father's gesture, but before she said anything, he gently cut her off. « That way, no jealousy. »

The little family exchanged many looks, but no words, everything was done in silence, through laughter and smiles. Y/Ncould read in the light of Joel's eyes who thanked her from the bottom of his heart for giving him this opportunity, thisfamily, this chance.

In a family, we are tied together by invisible threads that bind us even when we cut them. Despite all the difficulties, distance, age and vagaries of life, the love between family members does not become dull and hard.

And of course, no family is perfect. We fight, we bicker, we mess around. Sometimes we even stop talking to each other, but in the end, the family is always the family. Love will always be there.

Despite anything that may be put in his way between Ellie or her family, Joel will fight until the end, even if it means giving up his life. He wouldn't let anyone hurt them.

- « Everything okay Ellie ? »

Ellie and James had landed on one of the park benches, the kids still playing on their own as they took a short break from the battle.

- Ellie had been playing with her knife for a while now. She had lost herself in thought and had almost forgotten that James was right next to her. « Yes.. No, I forgot what I wanted to ask you. »

- « Oh, it's good, it will come back one day. » James could see in Ellie's eyes that something was bothering her. Complicated to know exactly what. Does this have anything to do with the discussion she had with Joel at the abandoned store ? Or maybe something to do with the girl where she spent the rest of the night with her, dancing.

- « His children remind you of someone, don’t they ? »

- « What makes you say that ? »

- « In general, nobody likes taking care of children. My intuition tells me that you are doing this for a particular reason. »

James didn't respond directly, his gaze once again lost on the children in the park. She was right on one point, James was doing it partly because it reminded him of the good times of joy he was able to share with his sister when he was younger. He wasn't ashamed to talk about it, and Ellie was no longer a stranger to him, even if they didn't spend their day together, James knew he could count on sincerity but also that there wouldn't be any judgment on the part of the young adolescent.

- « Her name was Sarah, she was my older sister and like many people here I lost her when the world fell into chaos. » (see gif above) James looked away, not sure where to look. The tears did not flow, at least this time.

- Once all of James' words reached Ellie's ear, she could feel a pang of regret in her stomach. She blamed herself for asking him, her curiosity could sometimes lead her to do awkward things. « I'm sorry, James. I did not want- »

- « No, it's fine. I would have told you if I didn't want to talk about it. »

James didn't want to admit it, but as the weeks passed, Ellie grew and progressed. The more he saw a certain part of Sarah in her. He wanted to protect her from this world, as if she were his little sister. He wanted to forgive himself for his past mistakes.

Ellie was more than capable of facing and fighting the dangers. He still didn’t know the path she had taken with Joel. But if she got here, she wasn’t just anyone.

- « I’ll be here this time. » ~*.♪。★*・゜・＊♪*.♪。★*・゜・＊♪*.♪°~ If you want to be marked on my future stories, let me know in the comments. Thank you again for reading ! 😊

[bleachbleachbleach]

In a previous post we mentioned our favorite "ships" but then the post got way too long to describe why they're our favs. In case you were curious, some explanations can be found here! Please don't take any of these seriously 😅

Putting under a read-more cut because this post is way too long:

whipplefilter:

- Basically any kind of weird oddball thing brewing in the 12th, especially if Akon is involved. I don't see why this would require further explanation.

- Soi Fon/Rukia, because of Rukia’s comment that "Soi Fon is nice." I’m into this one specifically as pseudonymous epistolary exchanges in the SC, where Soi Fon writes her sapphic column and Rukia is a fan. Rukia used to share these letters with Renji, who also enjoyed them, until Rukia let slip that they were related to Soi Fon’s I-thought-that-was-about-military-strategy! column, and then he didn’t want to read them anymore because Soi Fon is a Captain and it feels Weird to him. Rukia does not think it’s weird because "Soi Fon is nice."

I think Rukia’s letter persona would be, for Soi Fon, a welcome change from Yoruichi’s emotional unavailability and her own reticence; and Rukia would enjoy writing the letters to continue cultivating the parts of herself that don’t fall prey to her own emotional unavailability. Soi Fon would also have a lot of insights as to courtly romance/tragedy, and I think Rukia would probably get a lot out of their exchanges in terms of trying to imagine Hisana’s life with the Kuchiki, about which she has only the barest details.

- Hinamori/Kira, Hinamori/Nanao, and Hinamori/Isane — because I think Hinamori deserves all the love, and also because I think her time in recovery after Aizen would afford her really, really interesting relationships with all of these people—Kira for needing to contend with their trauma at the hands of their captains; Nanao for being someone Hinamori gets to know better through books; and Isane as a result of her time in 4th and as their relationship continues to shift through TYBW and beyond.

Possessive/jealous Hitsugaya is very popular on AO3—well, it's a popular dynamic for a lot of anime ships—but I think he’d be in favor of all the Hinamori ships. Even in a universe where none of these ships happened, I think Hitsugaya has probably considered and assumes-is-likely that they have/are. *He* knows what the VC social scene is like. Plus, to be properly possessive I think he’d have to feel like he had some claim over her, or her time, and I don’t think he feels that. Hinamori deserves the world; and that from his perspective, that is more than he can give her.

- Kira/Akon/Rose/Hisagi - sloppy Gotei, gothic edition. This does not require further explanation.

I'm not at all serious about these, but I am very serious about my fascination with these workplace dynamics: 

- Soi Fon/Hitsugaya, because in the final showdown against Kuchiki Kouga and the Grand Slam Breakfast’s worth of Menos Grande at the end of the Zanpakutou Rebellion Arc, Hitsugaya somehow ends up in charge of this, giving orders to Soi Fon, who accepts them without question. And it was a little baffling tbh, so I am intrigued by what their relationship is like!

I say "baffling" but what I mean is, okay. In canon, Hitsugaya is almost universally well-treated by his fellow captains (minus Mayuri). They clearly respect his abilities, and Soi Fon is generally inclined to follow authority. Maybe it’s tactical experience to take his direction. But at the same time, 1) it’s Byakuya’s kooky family member to blame here. ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR THE GROUP, BYAKUYA, 2) I still don’t think any of the captains know each other that well, which tends to make for poor teamwork, and 2) there is no earthly reason why anyone should assume Hitsugaya had any better idea of what they should be doing than anyone else. No one had any idea what was going on for this whole arc! What’re you doing, Soi Fon! I keep coming back to this moment and I’d be down to see what shook out of it.

- Byakuya/Hitsugaya/Zaraki, because literally the same reason as above. Byakuya and Zaraki just took Hitsugaya’s direction? During the Regai arc. Who put Hitsugaya in charge again? Guys, he does NOT know what he’s doing, either. I think all the captains like being in charge, but apparently Hitsugaya likes being in charge the most (and/or has the fewest reservations about doing extra work/incurring reputation-damaging liability).

Anyway, Byakuya then literally spent his fight with Reigai Hitsugaya asking Reigai Hisugaya all the questions about Hitsugaya he had in his head but never broached with Hitsugaya directly, and then Hitsugaya and Zaraki fight Inaba as the worst tag team anyone has ever seen. If that doesn’t scream ship, then what does??

ippoddity:

-Traitor Trio (Aizen, Ichimaru, Tousen) and their lieutenants (Hinamori, Kira, Hisagi), I actually spent A LOT of time screaming about these guys with @crysuzumushi, and they can tell you that I often run myself into circles and screaming at the sky. But the character dynamics and relationships (whether or not they are romantic) are just so layered and complex. I love it.

-Relatedly, incarnations of Ichimaru/Tousen/Kira/Hisagi and however you want to pair them off, see above, except maybe even moreso than with the addition of Aizen and Hinamori into the equation. There’s a lot of Tousen/Hisagi that I think about.

-Hisagi/anyone, I mean… this is more about Hisagi and a study of his character. But I imagine that at some point Village Child Hisagi was very desperate for acknowledgement, attention, and affection, and therefore I can see him being paired with just about anyone.

-Zaraki/Mayuri, look these two stand across from each other at captain’s meetings and I’m sure they’ve done their share of eye-fucking across the aisle. It probably just started with Mayuri staring down Zaraki, and Zaraki took that challenge. It started as enemies to lovers, except they never really hit that “lovers” stage. I love this for all the potential of gore/vore/body horror/pushing the limits of physical limitations because that seems like something they would be very into.

-Kyouraku/Ukitake, these two have known each other deeply for hundreds (if not thousands) of years. Their history alone sets the stage for a very interesting relationship. Also, there’s lots of cute fanart for them!

-Rose/Kira, I blame @cryinglittlepeople for this one because I can’t get enough of their art! Also, Kira is in such a fragile state after Ichimaru, and I think Kira really deserves some love and appreciation.

[darthchic]

It’s literally been years since I’ve posted anything TMNT related on here (mostly I just come on here to lurk… That’s such a great word…)

But I have now seen TMNT: Mutant Mayhem and I wanted to jot down my thoughts before I forget, cause I freakin’ LOVED it!

- first off, loved the animation, it was hideously beautiful, an imperfect beauty. I mean, the style is supposed to look like a teenager’s messy scribbles, right? And it does.

- Did anyone else get ‘Stranger Things’ vibes from the background music at times? Guess they wanted to inject a little 80s/90s flavour. Understandable.

- Most people seem to have a favourite turtle and mine is still Leo. I’ve not consumed every iteration of the turtles, especially not the comics, but for everything I’ve seen, he’s always consistently won my heart. He’s just such a GOOD BOI! My blue lame-o dork (said with much affection)

- I was just awwwing away during that scene where they were watching ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’. For me, it’s really the first time a version of the turtles really hammered in the longing the boys have to be a part of the human world and be normal teenagers. And seeing Leo notice a couple snuggling together and clearly wanting something like that himself? My boy just wants some romance dagnabbit!

- They added another element of sentimentality into Splinter’s backstory. Establishing that as a common rat, humans didn’t like him, and not many other animals liked him either. And then he finds these baby turtles who just love him unconditionally from the start? You can kinda see why he’s overprotective and a tad clingy. And when all those people made him drop his babies on the street, and Mikey onto the road in front of incoming traffic, it was a very “HOW DARE YOU” moment for me.

- April was a pretty cool character, I liked that she could relate to the turtles’ goal of wanting to achieve something great in order to be accepted. Throwing up in front of your school would be hard for a teen to live down. Poor Puke Girl. But I also liked that April kinda realises, at least from my point of view, that even though she went through something humiliating, it really doesn’t compare to what the turtles have to deal with. Maybe she even realised that she takes what she has for granted? So, I love that by the end, she was more focused on helping the turtles find acceptance rather than trying to help herself.

- Then the same could be said for the turtles. They still wanted to be heroes, even if that doesn’t guarantee they’ll be accepted by humans. It was so cute seeing Leo hype up his bros; I think the music for this scene is called “Better Than Mark Ruffalo”, and I had to go find it to listen to it again, cause it puts a smile on my face. Plus, Raph is able to tip over a van with his bare hands. Do they all have super strength or is this just the awesome power of Raph’s rage?

- Can I say, I was kinda shocked that SuperFly was allowed to say things like “Piss me off” in a PG rated movie? I’m so used to PG movies being extra kiddie-proof, where even words like *gasp* God and “kill” are seen as baaaaaaad words

- It’s kinda amusing to me that only poor Mikey and Raph got their blood sucked by the ‘Milking Machine’ and Leo and Donnie got off scot free. Though they did all get electrocuted several times before that.

- Also, Cynthia Utrom, is she gonna reveal that she’s really a tiny alien in a robot body some time down the road, or is this gonna be a red herring?

- I think the all-star cast they had for all the extra mutants (minus Ice Cube as SuperFly) was kinda wasted a little bit, but if they’re brought back for the sequel and the series then I’m assuming they’ll get a bit more attention.

- Seeing the turtles going to school was such a sweet new take, I imagine there’s probably a few fanfic authors out there screeching

- As for any romantic subplots, I don’t think people are gonna be as bothered by Leo’s crush on April as they were by Donnie’s crush in the 2012 series. But, we’ll see how the series deals with it going forward, especially if they decide to re-introduce Casey. Please not another love triangle! Does anyone even like those things anymore!?

- And uh, Splinter’s ‘relationship’ with Scumbug? Well, at least he’s happy…

- And last but not least, the reveal of Shredder at the end of the mid credits scene... Why is he connected to TCRI? Will the Foot Clan still exist? Is Shredder really just gonna be some bounty hunter for TCRI? Cause I feel Shredder always needs a much grander role, or a more personal vendetta with the turtles, and seemingly with Splinter no longer being Hamato Yoshi or having any connection with that character, I wonder where they’re going with this version of the Shredder?

[mermaidsirennikita]

I miss the Lisa Kleypas from the Wallflowers and The Hathaways, The Ravenels are such a let down for me, don't get the hype (minus Marrying Winterborne, love Rhys)

I.... personally think the Ravenels is a series that works more for people who a) haven't read much of Lisa's backlist and b) often haven't read much historical romance at all c) are not open to the nuances of older historicals and the manner in which ~problematic content can appeal to some romance readers (and that's okay!).

(Caveat-ish: personally, I approach problematic~ content on a case by case basis. A lot of the time, things like consent issues, misogyny which often exists to be conquered, and sexualizing the heroine in general is not a super big negative because in part I think that allowing readers to experience safe fantasies of behavior and dynamics they otherwise would condemn in real life is part of why romance existed in the first place. Ironically, the reason why so many older romances have dubcon or noncon is because, in the very very early days of romance, it WAS less acceptable for women to be seen enjoying scandalous encounters in fiction, or publicly in real life. Cloaking these enjoyable encounters in a "I didn't want to want it" dubcon/noncon veil was a sly workaround and become encoded in the genre for a long time. And I don't think it's wrong for readers to still want that. I PERSONALLY have a harder time with light contemporaries featuring this behavior because it rings way too true to life, it's not a fantasy for me, but it is to others and that's okay.

In contrast.... racism and homophobia, for example, are not fantasies. So I don't find that acceptable in these books, unless, when handled with care, they are expressed by villains and confronted. Even then, I don't want to see a white writer approaching racism in their book, even if it's presented as a bad thing.)

ANYWAY.

I find a lot of Ravenels readers who read like, one older Kleypas book and couldn't stand how problematic it was, or maybe just read a scene or two. The Ravenels are watered down for the more recent readers. That's why you get things like St. Vincent getting a spotlight, but way toned down and Very Remorseful. Even if it feels OOC.

I think the idea that a book being problematic = low quality... really limited. There are problematic aspects to Dreaming of You, for example. The villain (a crazy woman who is insane because Derek dumped her, which, I wouldn't have gone as far as she did but I would in fact go somewhat insane if Derek Craven dumped me) is dated. Her threat to assault Sara in order to see what Derek was so stuck on is... problematic.

However, I do think that it's important to recognize the context and legacy Lisa was writing within at that time--and I also think that Joyce was at the time a more progressive version of this common villainess than say, the villainess of The Bride by Julie Garwood. Joyce's trauma from being married off to a monster when she was basically a child is referenced. (I personally read into it the idea that Joyce a) doesn't know how to develop or express healthy affection and b) she over-attached to Derek because nobody had really given her that kind of pleasure before and she interpreted it as meaning more than it did. Also, Derek is Derek. And gets it DONE.)

And anyway, a book can be problematic and have a great story. It can be problematic and be well-written. At times, the problematic content can be intentional and can contribute to that quality.

The Ravenels, to me, is very repetitive and very toned down. Even Marrying Winterbourne, in my opinion, gets a lot of work done by being very well-written, very romantic, and very character-based. If Rhys did not say "not five fucking minutes", would the book be as popular? I don't know. It is a really good book, EASILY the best Ravenels book... But even MW is not THAT original, you know? Rhys does owe a lot, imo, to Derek Craven and Simon Hunt--he's just a little softer.

Whereas Tom, whose book I do need to relisten to, is straight up from what I remember a watered down version of Harry Rutledge (just like West is a watered down version of Leo Hathaway). Maybe I'll feel differently when I read it again. The watering down seems essential. West, going back to a hero whose superior version I'm reading right now, isn't nearly as aggressive towards Phoebe, either as a challenger or as a lover. That element of pushy domination Leo expressed towards Catherine isn't there, because the Ravenels just don't go there. (The closest they got was really Rhys's "you want a bit o' rough?" scene, which, HOT, but wasn't even expressed to Helen... and sorry, it should've been.)

Like what you like, I just question the taste of those who think the Ravenels are outright SUPERIOR to books like Dreaming of You, The Wallflowers, and The Hathaways. Like, it seems as if people are really stuck on low-conflict, low-edge = better.

[period-dramallama]

Legacy review: part 3

Men Be Normal About Elizabeth I Challenge 

Lettice Knollys: *marries Robert Dudley*

Susan Kay:

Susan Kay really doesn’t like poor Lettice Knollys, does she? It’s giving very “how DARE she intrude upon my OTP” vibes. Nearly everything is wrong with Lettice- she’s horny, she’s vain, she’s disloyal yadayadayada.

“and for years he had dreamed of raping her”- Susan, ‘I love you so much I don’t want to rape you anymore’ is not nearly as romantic as you seem to think it is.

Usually the assumption in Robert/Elizabeth romance is that if they bang at all it’s in the 1560s when they’re young and hot so it’s nice to have Elizabeth have sex later in life for a change. It makes sense for Elizabeth to be ready once she’s coming up to menopause and doesn’t have to worry about conception.

WHAT.

Slapping Elizabeth for saying she’s going to marry Alencon?? He’s throttling her?? He’s calling her a stupid woman?! She’s OK with that?!

She plans to have his son and pass him off as Alencon’s?! Elizabeth would never do that!

I’m going to have to deduct points for this insanity. INSANITY, i say.

All that build up to show Elizabeth’s trauma and now she’s cool with her man throttling her out of anger??

Two pages ago everything was great....we had a good sex scene and now Susan is clubbing her book to death and i’m just...

“He put his hand gently beneath her chin and raised her face to his. ‘Your life’ he said slowly ‘the continuance of your reign is the only thing that matters now in England. And if it costs the death of Campion and a thousand like him it will be worth it.... In my arms all your enemies are defeated.”

Oh NOW we have Robert Dudley no no no it’s fine i’m cool i’m cool

Overall, I’d say this book has complex characterisation....most of the time. Elizabeth, Dudley, William Cecil, Mary (both of them), Henry, Edward & Thomas Seymour, Essex, they are 3 dimensional. Lettice, Anne Stanhope, Anne Boleyn, Walsingham- not so much. Walsingham is basically a caricature, “bloodless” “cold and sly and fanatical” . To say his work was “received without gratitude” is a little harsh. He was not a close friend of Elizabeth’s but she did stay at his house, Barn Elms, and she did judge him worthy of a nickname “Moor”. We do know that he was friends with Dudley and Cecil, Cecil consoled Walsingham when his daughter Mary died aged 7 in 1580, and lamented the passing of a good friend and colleague in 1590. Walsingham had a dry sense of humour, he bought Italian wine and plants and owned a clavichord. There’s no excuse for saying his “few emotional needs were satisfied by the fierce demands of his work” because we’ve known since at least the 1970s that that’s not true. Yes, he was more Protestant than Elizabeth and he had a providential view of history (like Dudley himself!) but that doesn’t mean he believed “he had been personally singled out by God”. Yeah he died broke, but a lot of that was just bad accounting lol. 

Also it’s Gilbert Gifford not John Gifford hoowwwwwww do you mess that up.

The matter of Dudley’s short-lived son is sad but in summary.

Elizabeth on drugs...sad or funny? I’ll go with sad. Elizabeth bordering on atheism...I’ll excuse it because she’s so jaded. 

Robert missing Elizabeth in the Netherlands is lovely but “home was always you” clashes with “for years I wanted to rape you because you were my obsession.” I’m not saying love has to be portrayed as healthy, but these two statements conflict. 

Cuddly supportive middle-aged Leicester 1586 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>young aggressive rapey Leicester 1560s-1580s

Susan Kay talking about Leicester’s podgy dad bod like it’s a minus and not a plus

“She never had one, did you know that? He gave her a coronation but not a decent burial” saddest line in the whole book. Elizabeth remembering that her mother’s executioner was paid £23 6s 8d...ahhhhhh. Dudley holding her tightly- that’s it! More of that please! That’s what we needed the whole time!  Weirdly heart warming in a dark way that he’s urging her to assassinate Mary. 

“January crawled into February on leaden feet” *chef’s kiss*. 

“’We’re all in this together,’ Burghley insisted steadily. 

Elizabeth’s life versus Elizabeth’s sanity- excellent.

Part 4 of the book ends with Dudley’s death- predictable. but predictable because competent. Will I miss Dudley when he’s gone? Jury’s out. Probably I’ll miss him because he is replaced with Robert “we have Dudley at home” Devereux. “crimes against humanity” stop with the anachronisms Susan!

The realism of trying to distract Elizabeth from her depression: good. 

Philip would consider the anti Christ a man, and i think it does both him and Elizabeth a disservice to make the vendetta almost completely personal. Philip was not an incel. Elizabeth had cost him millions of ducats in military expenses, persecuted Catholics, intervened in the Netherlands, helped herself to some of his treasure ships- and she had reasons to do that, obviously. Also Phil seems to have forgotten that Elizabeth’s preservation was in his own best interests too- but I get why time and spite would make him forget that. Philip did have presence of his own though- Elizabeth’s eyes were unnerving, but so were his! He wasn’t just a bureaucrat. He was a commanding presence, partly because he was so quiet. And yeah, “Gloriana” is a cooler nickname than “El Prudente” but Phil did not entirely lack reputation. 

“My eyes are closed forever and I am blind” I see what you did there.

“How dare you desert your people in their hour of triumph to mope over a dead rat who was never worth a tinker’s curse alive?”

Cecil absolutely deserved to get shredded for that. Absolute idiocy on his part. What you doing boi.

There is an anachronism when Essex thinks of Elizabeth as an ice queen with a splinter of ice in her heart- unless there’s a sixteenth century source for that, the Snow Queen was written by Hans Christian Anderson centuries later.

Elizabeth: I’m haunted by Mary Stuart’s ghost

also Elizabeth: anyway time to wear Mary Stuart’s looted black pearls.

Cecil complains about having no salary...that’s not how Tudor government worked. Susan you really ought to have read Penry Williams’ The Tudor Regime (1979). 

Essex “was not troubled by its unnatural overtones, for he never even noticed them”. This boi I swear would be in a horror movie, hear a weird spooky noise, and go “hello? is anyone there?”. 

What is this jealousy bullshit? Elizabeth always punished courtiers for marrying without permission. It’s the done thing. Phil did the same thing and nobody is calling HIM jealous.

Cecil’s veiled insult with the psalms was great, especially as the real guy regularly reread his psalter. I think once a month? But regularly. So that’s 100% something he would do.

A little hiccup with the timeline: Elizabeth’s 40th anniversary on the throne would be November 1598- AFTER the deaths of Phil and Cecil. 

 Cecil and Phil as “my best friend and my best enemy.” Yes. Thank you. That’s the truth right there.

“A bitter old maid- everything she said and did supported that image.” I disagree. Also Essex is one of those men who see make up as cheating. But I think Essex’s characterisation is very good: he genuinely admires and cares about the queen he just misunderstands their relationship. Because he’s an idiot. 

I think too much blame in this novel is given to Elizabeth for Essex’s mistakes. He IS an idiot. His prefrontal cortex is woefully underdeveloped. His immaturity would always be a problem. 

“he had not lost his manhood in the Queen’s service- he had simply never attained it; she had warped and stunted his natural growth.” C’mon now, he wasn’t a child. When Leicester died he was 22-23. When Essex was beheaded he was 35-36. To put that in perspective, Catherine Parr died at 36 and Elizabeth of York at 37. He had plenty of time to become as mature as those women- he didn’t.

This novel suffers from a bit too much predestination. No, Essex’s execution was not inevitable because of Elizabeth’s trauma. he had free will. she had free will. Essex’s story is so much more interesting if it’s his choices that matter. Making it inevitable because of *spins wheel* Anne’s execution in 1536 undermines that. 

I like it when Elizabeth has a touch of the supernatural about her, at least in the eyes of other people (Dudley, Phil, Mary) but it can go too far. It takes agency from her and her skills and gives all the power to luck/fortune/god/the devil. 

The ending is also well-written.