#i think it would have been a horrendous decision to walk back on all of that by putting him in a white robe and calling it a day

[zabiume]

on a slightly related note, i know we joke about ichigo being a dumbass (and sometimes he is), but he's also so much smarter than people give him credit for. i remember initially being frustrated by chapter 479, where ichigo "forgives" ukitake and soul society for stalking him using the combat pass, but i trust ichigo and it's interesting to see in retrospect that this is the same chapter where ichigo asks them to let him take ginjou's body back. the shinigami express outrage at this, and soi fon and shinji specifically mention all the awful things ginjou has done (especially to ichigo's family and friends), but ichigo says "it's not about forgiving or not forgiving; he was a deputy soul reaper"

this is essentially ichigo saying to soul society, "give him dignity for his services and i can trust that you'll do the same for me when my time comes." while ginjou went full-hostile-mode against soul society, ichigo plays his cards a little more cleverly. soul society needs ichigo, and ichigo needs his shinigami powers, so he's willing to take the first step of forgiving their transgressions so they'll (hopefully) pay him the same respect

[nyrandrea]

No because he is as well, I adore the way he was written!! I was the same gigglin n kickin my feet each n everytime 😭

But can I ask for a request then, so say reader n Astarion ( plus two others ) are in an fight and reader just gets badly injured n knocked out and he just loses it killing anyone in his path to get to reader caring about them agshdudisowowi

Thanks so much for the request! I had quite a bit of fun writing this prompt.

Few warnings for canon-typical violence, blood, injury and animal death. Yyyyeah it is quite the doozy.

Word Count - 1.9k

Hope you enjoy!

xxx

The moon hung low in the starlit sky, its pale light casting ghostly shadows upon a narrow, winding mountain path. You and your party had been travelling all day as you wanted to cover more considerable ground to make up for time lost due to camping. However, the physical toll it was taking on everyone was starting to show as you all moved cautiously through the rugged terrain. 

Lae’zel was understandably the most resilient of the group, her tough demeanor betrayed only by the beads of sweat that trailed down her knitted eyebrows as she focused on conquering the path ahead. Shadowheart seemed to be driven purely by spite just to keep up with the githyanki; you almost had to fight her a few times just to get her to stop and catch her breath before she keeled over.  

You were feeling pretty run down yourself, every step felt heavier as time dragged on and your muscles were screaming at you to stop, but if you made it to that rock, to that tree, just over the hill, across the river, only then could you rest. 

You said that about ten rocks and five rivers ago. 

“That’s it!” A familiar voice shouted out from behind you, and you instinctively rolled your eyes. “I can’t take this anymore.” 

Turning around, you were greeted with the sorry sight of Astarion collapsing onto his knees and huffing for breath, and it seemed as if he wasn’t going to get back up anytime soon.  

“Astarion-” 

“Don’t you ‘Astarion’ me with that... little disappointed pout of yours,” the vampire said. “I am literally on my knees begging here, darling. We need to stop for the night.” 

“As sad as your little theatrics are,” Shadowheart walked over to the two of you and smirked down at him before turning to you. “He does have a point. We’ve been walking all day; I think I lost all feeling in my feet about half an hour ago.”  

“And you say he is the dramatic one?” Lae’zel cut in, sneering down at you from a higher ledge. “Look at you all, complaining like children. This is nothing compared to-” 

“Yes, yes, you have endured a horrendous array of training throughout your arduous upbringing on the Astral Plane that has transformed you into the fearsome warrior you are today; we get it,” Astarion said sarcastically, earning a snort of laughter from Shadowheart and a scowl from yourself. “But I for one am not made of pure titanium and would like to rest.” 

“Fine,” Lae’zel growled. “But if the ghaik tadpole decides to turn your insides out because of your time wasting, then I shall be all too happy to end your life.” 

“It’s a deal, darling.” 

With everyone in agreement, you relieved yourself of your heavy backpack and quickly got to work on setting up a makeshift camp. Dinner was a small, cooked rabbit to share, while Astarion waited patiently for you to finish until you let him drink his fill. You didn’t miss the concerned glance shared between Shadowheart and Lae’zel but said nothing. 

As the darkness deepened and the others retired for the evening, you decided you didn’t quite want to go to sleep quite yet— a decision you were probably going to regret come morning. Regardless, the stars were out tonight, and you weren’t certain when you might next get to enjoy them during this treacherous journey, if ever. 

The tadpole behind your eye wriggled slightly, and you were worried it was going to waste your night with a migraine and unwanted whispers, but instead it settled down. You huff a sigh of relief; you were spared, for tonight anyway. 

Despite the sky above being a sight to behold, your eyes couldn’t help but keep wandering down. Astarion was sitting across from you, his eyes creased and lips in a tight line as he concentrated on the ghastly book spread across his lap. The Necromancy of Thay had been his focus of attention for these past few nights, and you were honestly starting to worry a little for him. Sure, it was you who had given it to him in the first place (after he practically begged you for it), but the way he hyper focused on it at times was... concerning, to say the least. 

You clear your throat, hoping to catch his attention. 

It doesn’t work; you try again. 

“Oh, do shut up...!” 

His sharp tone makes you recoil slightly, and the vampire mirrors you, glancing between you and the book with widened eyes. 

“O-Oh no, I didn’t mean you, my dear. It’s this blasted book,” Astarion says, frowning down at it like a disappointed parent. “I can’t make heads or tails of the damn thing.” 

“Do you... need some help?” You meekly offer, even though you didn’t know the first thing about necromancy; some things were just best left untouched in your opinion. 

“You’re a sweetheart,” he breathes out a little chuckle. “But no.” He allows the book to close with a heavy thump before his eyes trail back up, lingering on you for a moment. “But I could do with a... little distraction.” 

As the fire crackles and pops, your cheeks flare up as Astarion slowly crawls his way around, not stopping until he is only inches away from you. Not quite knowing what to do or where to look, your body goes stiff as he slowly leans in towards you.  

“What do you think, hm?” he purrs, his knuckle softly caressing your cheekbone as he brushes away a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “Shall we have a little fun?” 

You nod shyly and allow him to draw you in as he cups your face and brushes his lips against yours, only to suddenly stiffen and pull away. A surge of panic jabs up from under your ribs as you’re worried that, somehow, you’ve done something to hurt him or put him off. 

“I-I’m sorry!” You blurt out. “Are you okay?” 

He eases your fretting by smoothing down your arms with an almost amused expression. “No, it’s not you, never you, I can’t stress that enough but there’s... something-,” he frowns and sniffs the air.  

Oh Gods, did you stink? You knew it had been a while since you last washed but… 

No, his attention was away from you as he quickly got to his feet and focused on what appeared to be a large boulder of sorts, about ten feet away from where you lay. 

Astarion’s eyes widen, and for the first time in a long time, he looks terrified. 

“Shit, he’s found me again. We’ve got to leave, now!” 

Suddenly, like vipers striking from the shadows, a group of monster hunters descended upon you, the night erupting into chaos as they sprang into action with ruthless efficiency. Swords and daggers glinted ominously in the dim firelight as you and the others desperately tried to defend yourselves. 

Fear and confusion gripped the group as you fought back against your assailants, but the element of surprise was with the ambushers. They moved with a deadly grace; their tactics honed through countless skirmishes. The clash of steel and cries of anguish pierced the night air.  

Desperation fueled your resistance, but they outnumbered you five to one, and that was without including their attack dogs, who had taken to separating you from the rest of the group as their personal prey. You jab your sword at their snapping maws, shout and try to make yourself look big to fend them off or, at the very least, make them think twice about attacking you.  

However, none of it seems to work as one takes a lunge at you and sinks their jaws into your arm. The jolt of shock quickly wore off to the searing heat of pain as the dog tugged and shook you like a rag doll, the beast spurred on by the snarls and barks of the others before they joined in on the mauling. 

You tried to scream but it hurt to even breathe, reducing you to mere gasping as your limbs throbbed and your head pounded. You thought you heard screaming, but the chaos of the battle muffled your senses as if you were being held underwater. You fall flat on your back as you’re pinned down to the ground, your eyes fluttering as something hot, wet and slimy drips onto your cheeks. Your eyes are met with a row of fangs; you shut them quickly, unwilling to look your death in the face. 

In that moment, an anguished cry cuts through the noise, and your eyes snap open. 

The next few moments are a blurry, bloody mess; primal and violent as you can just make out different voices—the hunter’s voices— crying out in pain along with the sound of wet tearing, of fangs ripping into flesh and blood splattering across the ground. You can only stare ahead, eyes wide with fear and body numb as the heavy weight on your chest is suddenly lifted. There’s a pitiful whine and a crunching snap, and the carnage finally stops. 

After a few moments of unbearable silence, your jumbled thoughts immediately go to your teammates, and you try to push yourself up to go help them. They were probably hurt, or worse, dead. You had to get up. Just... get up! 

‘Get up!’ 

“Get up goddamn you!” 

Your blurred vision slowly cleared as you blinked away your tears, and a familiar, blood-splattered face came into view. Gods but Astarion looked so afraid; his red eyes were wet, and his bottom lip quivered ever so slightly as he gently slid his hands under your broken body to help you sit up. 

“Oh, thank the Gods,” he whispered. “He... he will not take you away from me. I won’t let him.” He looks over his shoulder and shouts, “Cleric, get over here now!” 

His lips curled into a snarl as Shadowheart dropped to her knees beside you, as if he was frustrated that she wasn’t healing you quick enough. As if to confirm, he snaps at her to hurry up. 

“Shouting at me isn’t going to make the process go any quicker, I need to concentrate,” Shadowheart bit back, before her gaze softened upon you as a golden light washed out from her hands and over your body. “Just hold on a little longer, okay?” 

“She is right, you must calm yourself,” Lae’zel softly ordered Astarion as she knelt by your other side. “You have already taken your rage out on the enemy, do not let it overtake you.” 

Astarion said nothing as he focused solely on you, whispering hushed promises and honeyed words that got jumbled through your dazed state, but you appreciated them all the same. You tried to show him this by curling your stiff fingers around his, the coolness of his skin bringing a brief respite to your burning hot hands. He breathes out a sad, broken chuckle and reciprocates your gesture with a soft kiss to your fingers. 

The moon bore witness to the tragedy, casting its cold, indifferent light upon the scene, but you thought it shone beautifully, all the same. 

xxx

[withahappyrefrain]

Parking Spots and Matcha Lattes

Summary: In an attempt to get coffee, you meet a grade A asshole whose head you want to rip off. Meanwhile, Jake Seresin is pretty certain he just met his future wife in the parking lot of a coffee shop.

AKA Jake Seresin likes mean women, pass it on.

Shout-out to @p3mybeloved who isn't in the TGM fandom, but is the inspiration for this fic ♥️♥️

Part two is up! As is part 3!

It hadn’t been just a long day. It had been a long week.

And it was only Tuesday.

You were exhausted from working after hours to meet critical deadlines. If Barbara from admin found one more thing to nitpick, you were going to lose it.

So you decided to get coffee. Could you have made some at home? Absolutely. But you needed something, just a little something to make your morning brighter. Something that would remind you there was some good in the world and help you get through the first two hours of your day.

Instead of hitting snooze on your alarm clock five times, you got up after hitting it twice. You even remembered to apply deodorant and swipe on mascara. You left five minutes before your alarm to leave went off. Five whole minutes. You were on track to get coffee and get to work in plenty of time. Things were going well.

Too well.

You should have known something was about to fuck up your day when you saw the perfect parking spot. When the hell did that even happen? Never, you should have just gone to the back of the lot.

Foolishly, you started making your way towards the spot, thinking of all the things you could do with the extra minutes you would receive from your soon to be princess parking.

Your car and body lurched forward as you slammed on the brakes in order to not run into the white Jeep Wrangler that sped out from around the corner.

The heart palpitations you were experiencing from the sudden, potentially life saving decision descended into anger as you watched the speed demon take not just your desired parking spot, but also the one right next to it due to parking at an angle.

You gripped the steering wheel as rage seethed through your body. Instead of an elderly lady who just shouldn’t be driving, a tall blonde man dressed in some type of military uniform got out of the car. He didn’t even check his horrendous excuse of a parking job, walking into the coffee shop without a care in the world.

What a fucking asshole.

Normally you’d just find another spot and try to move on.

Not today. Because today was supposed to be a good day and you had done everything in your power to ensure it would start off on the right foot and this douchecanoe just ruined it.

So you found a nearby parking spot, walked over to the eyesore of a car and waited. All the rage and anger built up into you, thinking about his horrendous parking job, as well as the bullshit of your job.

You didn't even wait for him to say anything before tearing into him. The fact he was blonde and conventionally attractive added to your anger because of course a real life Ken doll would think it's okay to park like that.

"Hey dickhead! Who the fuck do you think you are, parking like that?"

"What the-oh wow," his voice trailed off when he took in all of you, not that you noticed.

"Is that how you drive tanks in the army? Because if so, holy shit, our country is-”

He scoffed, “Sweetheart, please. I’m a Lieutenant pilot for the Navy. And one of the best ones at that.”

Whether it was the Texan drawl that dripped through his voice or how he expected you to fall to your knees by revealing this information, you rolled your eyes.

“Oh, so you can fly million dollar planes but can’t park without taking up two spaces?” You remarked. He seemed to be taken aback by your comment, which gave you the motivation to keep going.

“First off, who the hell drives through a parking lot at forty-five miles an hour?! There are kids-well teenagers-who walk through here! I know your car is obnoxious as your personality, but not all of us get an adrenaline thrill from having to slam on their fucking breaks so they don’t crash into you.”

You didn’t notice how his emerald eyes were wide and staring right at you. You were on a roll.

“In fact, you probably wouldn’t have had to park so offensively if you had fucking slowed down. Or, you could have had a shred of decency and repark. Don’t they teach that in the military? To have honor or some shit? Or were you too busy doing bicep curls at the gym that day?”

It was then you noticed that his eyes were wide, reminding you of those stupid disney princes your cousins used to fawn over as kids. The look he had on his face made it seem like he was in a far off place, it was almost…..dreamy?

“Hello?” You waved a hand in front of his chiseled face, “Are you even listening to me?”

“I’m trying, but your eyes are super distracting, has anyone ever told you that?”

It took your brain several seconds to process what he just said. Then you had to take another ten seconds to process that he wasn’t being cocky or a smartass when he said it. He was being genuine.

What the actual fuck?

—---------------------------------------------

Jake Seresin woke up this morning, like any other day. He got up early so he could get coffee off base. The Starbucks they had on base was always overcrowded and bitter. Plus, it was nice to get off base for a little bit, get away from things and have a sense of normalcy.

He was not expecting to meet his future wife in the parking lot of a local coffee joint.

Nor was he expecting her to introduce herself by yelling at him.

But it was kinda perfect.

You were stunning, even though you assumed he was in the army, of all things (he’d let that one slide, you’ll learn eventually).

The passion in your eyes as you pointed out exactly what was wrong with his parking job was admirable, alluring, even enticing.

Jake couldn't lie, he'd thought you'd be impressed or at the very least, taken aback by his rank.

Instead, you steamrolled right past it, continuing to list what he had done wrong, taking stabs at him along the way.

It was hot.

You were making valid points. He didn't have to drive that fast, it wasn't like he was late.

But it was also extremely difficult to focus on what you were saying when those big bright eyes of yours were burning into him.

How could he focus on anything else?

So he was honest and told you so.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" You threw your hands up in exasperation.

That we aren't making out right now, is what Jake wanted to say. But his mother would smack him if she found out that's what he said to her future daughter-in-law during their first interaction.

"I have no problem darlin'. In fact, I'm pretty great. Got a matcha latte and have just met the most stunning girl in the world," he flashed that blindingly white smile, ready for you to ask for his number.

"You parked like that for a matcha latte? You couldn't have made me slam on my breaks for something that doesn't taste like dirt?" You spat.

Huh, normally that line worked. The fact it didn't was more exhilarating than nerve-wracking.

Jake honestly found it borderline erotic.

"I didn't realize I had met a parking and coffee expert," He preened, that award winning smile remaining on his face. He was curious, what could get you flustered?

You swore you could see red.

Oh, he was trying. Trying to knock you off balance. Trying to see if he could rattle you. It fueled you.

"I'm not an expert, it's called being a decent human being with common sense, you knockoff Ken doll." The lovesick look on his handsome face remained. If he was a cartoon, hearts would appear over his head.

Oh, you were perfect.

Outright asking for your number wouldn't work. Compliments were going right over your head. He had to change tactics.

He looked over at his parking job before facing you again, "Y'know, you're absolutely right. That was a shitty parking job."

Your eyes widened, surprised that this walking Crest Whitening Strips advertisement could admit he had done something wrong.

Jake continued, "And I'd love to learn more about how to park correctly from you…over dinner."

When you started ripping into him, you weren't exactly sure what to expect. Most likely an argument that would end with middle fingers thrown in the air as you both walked away.

Not him asking you out.

"You want me to continue yelling at you about your inability to park over dinner?" You asked. Perhaps the lack of oxygen he experienced from flying planes had affected his ability to think. Perhaps folks should study the effects his job had on the brain. Not that Congress would allow it (couldn't interfere with recruitment).

That stupidly white smile remained on his face, "I was also hoping I could learn more about you too."

Hesitation filled you. The officer (or whatever his rank was) was being genuine. His compliments didn't feel forced. It was just odd that after being yelled at for nearly ten minutes, the conclusion he came to was that he wanted to go on a date with you.

"Buy me coffee first." You challenged, crossing your arms over your chest as an attempt to come across as intimidating, despite how much taller the soldier was compared to you.

A smile broke out onto his face. Not a cocky one, but one that was soft and sweet.

It was almost endearing. Almost.

"Anything for you darlin'," he declared, sea green eyes sparkling, "I'm Jake by the way."

You didn't expect him to go through with it. Nor did you expect him to jog ahead so he could hold the door open for you.

A warm feeling began to flutter in your stomach, until you remembered his heinous parking skills. That warm sensation would transform into a quiet, bubbling rage.

"Hangman? The fuck kind of name is that?" You asked upon hearing him say it to the barista.

"It's my callsign darlin'," he explained, like it was the most obvious and sensible thing in the world.

"First off, my name is not darlin, I just told you it two minutes ago. Second, you are way too smug to be telling me how your callsign is after a children's recess game, Officer." You ignored the confused stare of the barista who handed you your drink.

"I didn't get it from the game and it's Lieutenant," he corrected, his voice the sharpest it had been since talking to you.

A nerve had been struck. Or so you thought.

You leaned forward, your cardigan brushing against the khaki shirt he wore.

"Learn how to park properly and maybe then I'll get your rank right, officer." You were quite proud of yourself for that one, considering he was actually silent for a few moments.

Meanwhile, Jake was doing everything in his power to not sport an erection in the middle of the coffee shop. Because holy shit, you were hot. It was ridiculous how your smirk almost made his knees buckle.

He wondered if you'd prefer an early summer or fall wedding. He had always envisioned getting married in late May. But the rust colored cardigan you had on perfectly complimented your complexion. You'd probably looked great in mustard too. But those colors were more appropriate for a fall wedding and not-

"Cat got your tongue? Or does the navy have their own expression?" Your voice broke Jake out of his thoughts.

He just smiled, shaking his head, "Just got distracted by how pretty you are. Gonna tell you now, I don't know if I'll be able to focus on parking standards during our date tonight. Might need a second one for review."

You rolled your eyes, "It's not a date it's…. actually I don't know what you call it when you are teaching a grown ass man how to properly park over dinner-"

"It's a date." The barista called out before turning around to work on the other orders. Heat rushed to your face as Jake slipped a five dollar bill into the tip jar.

"Whatever" you fumbled to get your phone out, pulling up a new contact, "just give me your number so I can text you the address of the restaurant."

He quirked an eyebrow, "You're picking the place?"

"You can't drive for shit and out of all the types of tea lattes you could drink, you go with matcha," you leaned in to look at the sticker on his cup, "with skim milk. The federal government may trust you with their jets, but like hell I'm gonna trust you to pick a restaurant."

Oh, he was definitely going to marry you. In his head, he already tried out pairing your first name with Seresin and it sounded heavenly.

He just grinned, his emerald eyes shining and you really wished he'd stopped doing that.

The scent of cedar wood flooded your nostrils as he leaned in, his face much closer to yours than it had been so far. Was he bending his knees to be at eye level with you?

Focus, you told yourself. He can't park for shit and got zero sweetener in his drink. Who the hell does that?

"I look forward to showing you on our date that I have great taste, as well as many talents that will have you overlooking my parking skills," his voice was low, dripping with a pathetic attempt of seduction that made you want to bang your head against the counter of the coffee bar.

"Type your phone number in before I throw my drink at you. I don't care if I get fined with 'defacing government property'." You all but shoved your phone into his chest, earning a chuckle from him that sent more heat to your body than rage.

"Anything for you, Venus." Did the obnoxiously bright smile ever go away?

"Y'know, you could have a really strong legal case for what all the lack of oxygen has done to your brain, like not being able to remember my name."

Jake shook his head, "Oh, I remember your name. Venus suits you better. Hottest planet, looks great in rust," he motioned to your cardigan, "Goddess of love and beauty. It's quite fitting for you."

This guy was unreal. The grip you had around your drink tightened, your bottom lip pushing forward to form an annoyed pout.

"I look forward to our date tonight, Venus," He said as he handed you back your phone, his long fingers brushing against yours.

Your eyes couldn't roll harder, "I look forward to serving my country by teaching you how to properly park, Hangnail."

"It's Hangman."

Now it was your turn to smirk, "Nah, Hangnail suits you better," your voice dropped, mocking his southern accent.

With that, you left the coffee shop. You had to, otherwise you were going to throw your drink at him.

You missed the downright lovesick smile that adorned Jake Sersin's face as he watched you walk out.

"Thanks for helping me meet my future wife y'all," He said to the very confused baristas.

"She looked like she wanted to murder you," one commented.

Jake laughed, shaking his head, "Don't worry. I'll win her over."

As you got in your car, a vibration from your phone buzzed in your pocket. You pulled it out, a message from an unknown number flashing on your screen.

Looking forward to our date tonight. Can't wait for your lesson Venus ;)

Oh that bastard. When the hell did he have time to send himself a text to get your number?

You shook your head despite the fact he couldn't see you.

A loud horn made you jump. You looked up from your phone to see the living embodiment of a Ken doll in his car that was now in the middle of the parking lot, right across from your car.

He waved. God, you wanted to wipe that smirk off his stupid face.

Instead, you rolled down your window.

"What the fuck are you doing?! You're going to block traffic!" You yelled.

"Text me your address Venus! I'll pick you up at seven!" He winked, driving away as he ignored your comment.

At least he wasn't speeding through the parking lot this time.

Maybe there was hope. Maybe. Doubtful. Probably not.

On the way back to base, Jake wondered if you'd prefer a silver or gold band for your engagement ring.

-------------------------------------------

@spidervee @sebsxphia @hangmanapologist @xbamboowishesx @rae-gar-targaryen @theharddeck @abibliophobiaa @mothdruid @stranger-nightmare @princessphilly

[mysticworks]

Late Night Walk ~ LN4 x Reader

Prologue can be read -> here

Part i to the "Your eyes" series

Word Count: 2.3k

Genre: Reader is feisty and Lando is whipped

It's late at night. Lando insists to walk you home. Deciding this is his perfect time to get to know you

------------------------------------------------------------

C H A P T E R O N E:

Today had been exhausting. 

You were drained - it had been another day of back to back meetings as the team reflected on the seasons’ analytics. 

Data had been scrutinised, reports written and discussions made; intense decisions being the result of it all. 

Not that you wanted to recall any of it.

The clocks had moved past 10 at night and with no dinner, just mugs and mugs of coffee, it was time for you to call it a day; the hunger had begun threatening to let your more ‘primitive’ nature loose. 

As you left the building, the warm spring air from this morning seemed to be replaced with an unwelcoming chilly breeze, remnants of the winter still lingering in the air as the seasons transitioned. 

This phase of weather was always one you expressed distaste towards, never quite knowing the best way to dress for the ever changing temperature. 

You tugged on the sleeves of your hoodie, letting the fabric wrap around your fingers in a mild attempt to retain that fraction of warmth. 

To top it all off, your late leave from work meant that the last bus of the day had long since left. 

The prospect of an hour long walk back home haunted your mind - yet you trudged on anyway, eager to be home and in bed.

You sensed the presence of a figure come up, beside you, falling into step as you continued down the cobble path. 

With no intention to engage in conversation - your patience having been worn thin at this point - you continued on, sparing not a glance to the uninvited company.

“You were really cool in the meeting today, challenging Zak head on like that.”

The voice made you halt mid step. It was one you knew, all too well - from replays of interviews, to PR content displayed on the company screens, Lando Norris’ voice was more than familiar, and not in a good way.

He was the absolute last person you expected to approach you, the daggers you’d sent him in passive criticism earlier that night being something you assumed would deter him from ever consulting you.

And somehow you were wrong. 

Here he was, walking besides you, praising you for the storm you’d sent his way.

Raising a brow, you spared Norris a narrow look, wary of his intent, adamant not to entertain conversation.

He continued alongside you anyway, ignoring your glare completely and instead outstretching his hand in offering, “Ice cream?”

“No thanks.”  

You looked pointedly straight ahead, refusing to make the acknowledgement. 

He gave a shrug of his shoulder, biting into his own cone; exaggerated humming to signal how great it tasted.

Something about the racer was really, really setting you off - maybe it was how mirthful he always was - too immaturely peppy and buoyant - even way past 10pm in the night, after a horrendous working day. 

You’d caught his expression in the meeting earlier - the same smirk on his face sending a hangry rage coursing through you.

You had the urge to speed walk away - when a huge rumble erupted from your stomach. 

The chortle from Lando was enough indication that he’d heard your body's plea for food, and he shoved the ice cream cone into your hand once more, “I think you need that, actually.”

Embarrassed wasn’t a strong enough word. 

You felt the heat in your cheeks swallow you whole, as you pried the cone from his grasp, taking a sheepish bite in. 

You mumbled a thanks. Despite the cold night air, the ice cream was savoured - some food after hours of none, a much needed relief. 

Not that you’d admit that to Lando anytime soon.

A silence fell between you, and you almost forgot Lando was walking beside you - the pair of you busy in tucking into your cold treats. Your steps had synchronised, a slow walk through the company complex. 

By now, you’d walked well past the car park, exiting the compound from the main gate and onto the main road. 

Lando peered at you, raising his brow, “Waiting for a ride?”

A click of the tongue conveyed your refusal, “not everyone has a personal chauffeur Norris.”

He stopped his pace and you continued on, leaving him behind in what seemed bewilderment.

“Most of the population uses public transport, or walks.” Your unnecessary dig at his wealth was ignored completely - he seemed entirely unbothered, jogging to catch up with you instead. 

“Would you like a ride then?” His expression was soft - something you hadn’t expected, and he seemed genuine in his offering. 

Your answer was curt, “No.”

“Why not?” 

“I’m not getting into a stranger's car.”

The driver feigned mock hurt, placing a hand on his chest as he gave a dramatic gasp, “I’m no stranger.” 

“No, no, of course not. We’re childhood best friends.”

You rolled your eyes, the sarcasm oozing from every word and Lando replied with a huge grin, his eyes sparkling as he resumed his simultaneous steps beside you. 

“I guess I’ll just have to walk you home then.”

“I’ll pass - I'd prefer some peace thanks.”

“Please, allow me, I take pride in being quite the gentleman.” He threw a wink your way, and you had to swallow the urge to swat at him - to which he only giggled himself silly. 

You offered him a scoff in reply. “It’s quite a walk - I don’t think the celebrity in you will make it.” 

“Oh please, I’m a high performance athlete. I’m sure I’ll survive.”

With a dramatic flex of his biceps, Lando wiggled his brows, and you found yourself chortling. 

You had to admit, although irritating at times, there was a charismatic nature to Norris. 

Something light hearted that made him just that slight bit more bearable. 

“So why are you so adamant to give me a walk home anyway?” The question had been lingering on your mind, and at some point you couldn't hold it back anymore. 

It didn’t make sense to you.

Why would The Lando Norris - famous racing driver and McLaren’s star - come and walk with you in the first place? 

Especially after you’d pointed multiple fingers his way, in the meeting, merely hours ago.

Lando sent a look your way, pondering for a second, as if coming up with a suitable reply, before pointing ahead, “because of things like that.” 

You followed Lando's gaze.

On the opposite side of the road, a brawl seemed to be conjuring; a group of intoxicated people scrambling out of a nearby bar and spilling on the streets.

Each seemed to be shouting at the other, a few hands flying and throwing fists into the air - senseless. It was quite the barbarous scrabble; rowdy in the night's silence.

“It's not a safe time to be out alone at night.” 

Lando asserting protective behaviour certainly took you by surprise, filling you with a strange feeling. One you couldn't quite describe. 

With every passing moment, as you got to know him, the assumptions you'd made about him, expelled little by little - a sense of guilt beginning to gnaw at you.

Maybe he wasn't too bad after all. 

Lando mumbled on, continuing, “that, and you have the most beautiful eyes.”

You blinked hard trying to digest his response. 

Lando Norris flushed deep red.

He looked gobsmacked at his own words - as if they'd spilled out unintentionally and his hands flew to cover his mouth, uncomprehending. 

An awkwardness filled the air, neither saying a word as you walked on.

You looked eagerly for a way to avert the conversation, to break the deadly silence you'd been submerged in - but Lando beat you to it.

“So what's your role in the team? Since you were in the meeting I'm guessing you're one of the higher ups.” 

You gave him a wry smile, “Well the official title is, Senior Data Analyst, not too high up actually.” 

“Senior Analyst? Do you get any cooler?” His expression was incredulous, gaping at thin air. You felt a playful thump on your forearm, “Miss y/l/n - the big shot.”

It was your turn to become a shade of pink - never really being complemented before on your position. 

Although you’d been proud of moving up the ranks soon after joining McLaren, you’d never been given the opportunity to really grow, well deserved promotions turned away in ‘under the table’ favours.

“Eh, not really, I missed out on the lead position.” 

Lando sent you an inquisitive look, urging you to elaborate. 

The memory brought a tug at your heart- as if it was being pinched from within- a clear sign you’d never really moved on from the rejection you’d faced that day. 

You shrugged your shoulders, “Let’s just say: nepotism, inequality and business politics.”

You'd realised that Lando was an attentive listener.

He'd always wait for you to finish before drawing out more with exactly the right phrases. 

“That really sucks - I'm positive you would've been the better fit, with how intelligent you seem.” 

He changed his tone, giving it a more hopeful, brighter edge, “I'm sure you'll bag a promotion soon. Maybe even take over. Zak was threatened, that's for sure.” 

He nudged you a little with his elbow, and the pair of you found yourself breaking out into a fit of hysterics - replaying the meeting from both perspectives. 

It was encouraging to hear someone say those words. Affirmation of your career being a success - someone rooting for you out of pure kindness and not some warped, twisted ill-intent. 

For the first time that night, you felt grateful Lando was beside you. 

His words gave you the inspiration you never knew you were missing.

Eventually your conversation drifted, moving on to how you'd never seen a formula one race - live, the fact shocking Lando - who promised he'd somehow get you the full experience. 

“You have to see me racing - it'll blow you away seeing how talented I am. Maybe if you're nice I'll even invite you on the podium with me.” 

He'd seemed so proud - giving himself a pat on the back.

You'd snorted at him in snide sarcasm, poking fun, “Yeah, sure. I'll have to pray for you not to crash.”

He couldn't fathom how a respected team member, had never been invited to a race, and you'd fallen into explanation of how your role meant during races you were sat in the headquarters race control room - ambushed with screens and screens of numbers.

“Maybe when you're CEO you'll help me win a championship.” 

You raised your nose in the air, “Nope. I'm kicking you off the team first.” 

Lando fell into a dramatic feign of tears, puffing out his chest in a show of pride, “You'll be losing such great talent.” 

Somehow between the start, to now, the distance between the pair of you had closed, little by little. 

As you turned the corner of your street, you felt the back of Lando’s hand brush against yours, ever so slightly. 

Neither of you moved away- skin tingling with every bristle of contact. His knuckles were calloused, evident as they touched momentarily against yours. 

A deep fluttering erupted in your stomach, one that forced a gush of heat to take over your body. It was remarkable how such minimal contact could cause such a torrent of butterflies.

Your apartment was fast approaching now, and you sneaked a glance his way from the corner of your eye. 

Lando was biting down on his lip, blushing beetroot red.

-----------------------------------------------------------

L A N D O ’ S P O V:

Time had gone too quickly.

I felt as if we'd only just started talking and yet here we were, having walked an hour away from the office, outside residential apartment blocks, home to Miss Senior Analyst.

There was still so much more to say. So much more to ask. 

Every exchange with her had been so interesting. 

Her intelligence shone through her words - but there was something more...she was genuine.

No sugar coats, no fake laughs, no pretend kindness.

It felt like the first time I'd been seen. 

Like someone had been unafraid to speak to me normally.

Mumbling a goodbye with a hand flick for a wave, I watched y/n turn her back towards me, the distance between us growing with every step she took.

I felt a pull at my chest forcing me to say something, anything, before she really left. 

I had to find a way to see her again.

“Hey!” she turned her head in my direction, blinking, and I gulped involuntarily - gosh those eyes were so intense. 

It was hard to get used to them, so piercing and bright, like they saw through me even though I had nothing to hide.

“Do you-” 

She picked up on the slight stutter of my sentence, her brows cocking up in amusement.

I brought my hand up to my hair, raking through the tangled mess of curls with my fingers- searching for the right words.

“Would you be up for maybe…some sort of... us two...together ? We could - you said you've never -”

The words weren't coming out right and my stomach clenched, exasperated. 

She waited, expectant.

I took a deep breath, swallowing. “I'd like to take you on a hot lap around the Silverstone track, if you'd be up for it?”

The pause between her reply felt like an eternity, my heart thudding louder with every passing second.

“I'll consider it. Maybe.” I could hear the smirk in her voice - playful - teasing. 

She was messing with me, refusing to offer the satisfaction of a confirmed “yes” but keeping me thrilled without a flat out “no”. 

It drove me insane - the constant teasing - the snide remarks - the sarcasm.

It all drove me so insane.

She turned on her heel, up the steps to her apartment, leaving me grinning like the fool I felt.

I now had a hot lap to arrange.

Time to bribe, convince my manager.

[imaginesbymonika]

“Shame” Part 7

A Pedro Pascal x fem!Reader fan fiction

Plot: For the last four years, Y/N and Pedro have been dating in secret. The fear of rejection has turned them into a mystery that could only be encountered in yearning looks on red carpets or hands that are touching one another briefly. However, for the longest time, things have been working out that way just fine. But now Pedro's agency wants him to have a PR relationship with another woman and neither Y/N nor Pedro is sure if their love is going to survive that.

Warnings: swearing, mgg is here to STAY (this is for you kim, love ya)

A/N: you guuuyss!! hello!!! i was gone for such a long time (?) i was just really busy with university and just life, but yeah, im back for now, i guess <3

"To be honest, I didn't expect you to show up.", the tall man states as his eyes light up at the sight of the young woman. Y/N just chuckles at the sincerity in his voice. She watches how he takes a step to the side, offering her to walk through the door into his home. There is a certain tension, lingering in the chilly evening air. Who would have thought, that they were living in the same city… She mouths a brief 'thank you' before doing so and waits for him to close the door. However, before he does his brown eyes scan the street in front of the building. Curious if any paparazzi have seen her. But once he realizes that no one has noticed his guest his posture visibly softens.

„Well, I didn’t expect you to reach out to me, Gubler.“ At the mention of his last name, he giggles (actually giggles) and wipes the corner of his mouth with his left thumb. His gaze falls on the floor for a second, before he meets Y/N's again. She can clearly see that he wants to say something in return but doesn't. Instead, he makes a hand gesture, telling her to step further into the house.

„Oh my god… This is actually so stunning.“, the y/h/ced woman whispers as she wanders down the corridor into his living area. She can sense Matthew’s eyes on her form but acts like she has no idea. "Thanks.", is all she receives back.

A silence falls upon the two again and when she sits down on his long couch, she feels its softness:" You know, I always wanted a couch like this myself." "Why didn't you buy one?"

"Are you sure this is the one?", Pedro scratched his chin, his finger moved up his face and stayed underneath his nose. He taps his skin a few times and sighs:" Don't you think that leather would be a better choice?" There was something in his look that told Y/N that the decision was already made.

"I don't know." He lets out a soft chuckle:" Well, I tend to spend a lot of time in here. So I figured, that the least I can do is make this space as cozy as humanly possible." Y/N feels how she sinks further into the colorful and fuzzy furniture:" Oh Really? Because whenever I see videos of you meeting fans, you appear to be outside quite a lot!" At that, Matthew laughs out loud:" You've seen videos of me online?"

"I may have looked you up."

The actor crosses his arms in front of his chest, and Y/N watches how his muscles flex. She swallows and her hands stroke the material of the couch. "You looked me up?"

"You're asking me a lot of questions." His chuckle is as soft as honey. Y/N already wants to hear it again." You're right, sorry." "But yeah, I did."

Hot tears were dwelling up in her eyes and she felt how her hands were violently shaking:" God! Everyone thinks that you are so sweet! That you're this perfect nice guy! Hollywood's goddamn fucking sweetheart! I wish people could know the disgusting and ugly and horrendous truth about you and your stupid and mean lies! And- and- and the way you're only acting! You're not like that at all! You have them all fooled!"

Pedro stared at her. Her hand flew up to wipe her eyes:" You're so mean!" "You don't mean that.", Pedro whispered and swallowed thickly. "You're so mean."

[thelaundrybitch]

Snoot Smooches

TURTLE DOVES

It's been a hot minute.

BUT I'M BACK!

And with the help of @leosgirl82 who assisted in these absolute shenanigans!!!

So please enjoy some Valentine's Day fun 💖💖💖

TW: Swearwords and Shenanigans

Please don't steal my work. Reblogging for others to enjoy is highly encouraged, though 🤩

Snoot Smooches

You've been with your turtle boyfriend for years, and you have a very good relationship with him and his brothers. You love each of your boyfriend’s brothers completely platonically - and they all know that.

However, you do love some shenanigans, and Valentine's Day is coming up. So you decide to decorate the lair in pinks and reds.

And you've made an executive decision on a new tradition.

Valentine's Day Mistletoe…

Hang the shit EVERYWHERE 

Hide it in drawers around the lair for quick grabbing access 

Hell, keep some in your pockets so you can sneak attack 

Absolutely carry it around on a fishing rod, like you would with a donkey and a carrot 

BUT have fun trying to explain the mistletoe fishing rod to your turtle bf....

"I'm TRYING to kiss your brothers! Do you MIND?!"

Your turtle bf be like 🤨🤦🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️

“Fine. But don't come running to me when you're in trouble”

Game on

Leo

Leo would be a gentleman and let you snoot smooch him

But be horrendously embarrassed about it 

Internal screeching

If turtles could blush

He's gonna be the one that's probably secretly wiping it off after you’ve skipped away victoriously

Texts his brother immediately to tell him about your shenanigans

Freaking tattle tale

He gets a second snoot smooch

As punishment 

Raph

Facepalm

From him

To you

Also 'biffed' 

*Biff* - To smack one's palm heel against the offender's forehead.

He would absolutely use the one finger on the forehead method to push you back 

With that look of HAve you LOSt your DaMN MinD?

OR he'd be grabbing both shoulders and spinning you to do an about-face and just say, "Nope."

Just keeps bringing you back to your bf like, "KEEP HER OCCUPIED"

He'd be so done with your shit by the end of the first week

Just wearing him down. 

Day by day. 

Like the annoying little sister that won't quit 

And it's easier to just get it over with 

Finally, he'd be like 

"FINE! ONE!"

But he'd honk your nose or some shit and drag you back to your bf

Don

I can see Don being an absolute asshole to you

Calls your bluff

He's gonna be the one who wets his lips for a slobbery smooch

You'll be walking up

With your donkey stick

And a maniacal smile across your face

Wiggling the brows like two dancing caterpillars

And he'll look horrified

But only for a split second 

He'll start licking his lips so they are super spitty

Then get up and chase you around with duck lips

You'll be screaming NOOOO! like a five-year-old trying to get away from the icky older brother

Insert slappity slaps when he captures you

Mike

This one, you'd have to keep one eye on. 

Mike. He's always their wild card. He likes to keep you on your toes

But mostly his brothers.

He's such a shit

NO SHAME

He'd be sliding in all puckered up

Right here, babes... Pointing to his lips

He's all in

Wants ALL the smooches

Will turn his face right before you land said kiss so he gets an actual smooch

Then run through the lair yelling about it like the town crier

Bonus Turt Time

Jehannet (J)

Would be super sweet and accept said smooch

Prefers a cheek kiss.

But will let you snoot smooch him

Then after your sweet little kissy-poo, he'd suddenly be like, "I LoVe KiSsEs"

And grab you to smooch a barrage of kisses all over your face while you squawk and squirm trying to get away

Totally makes sure he does it in front of the brother you’re dating

Just to get a reaction 😂

Basilio

Good luck with Basilio LOL

*goes in for snoot smooch, ends up in headlock* 

Walks you back to your Turt BF in said headlock

"I think this is yours"

"Oh, thanks Bayz! A bit closer, though… I'm at the perfect height to kiss my bf," you sass him - whilst your head is at crotch level

Bayz: let's go immediately and walks away with his hands in the air

Later on, Basilio would be standing under one, not realizing it was there.

You'd try to sneak attack him

But dude is a weathered ninja, so he'd slip away at a speed walk

And you would chase him.

Yelling that he can't outrun tradition!

And true to character, Mike and J would chase Basilio and pin him down so you could get a smooch in LOL

Wanna know more about J & Bayz?

Jehannet

Basilio

also, always feel free to shoot me an ask 💖

Enjoying my work? Find my Master list HERE

~Tags~

@leosgirl82 @leoandraphssoulmate @sharpwindow @eveandtheturtles @ninjaintheshadow @scholastic-dragon @tmnt-tychou @replicasey @meowph-132 @symmetricalkazekage @tinkabelle19 @miss-andromeda @drowninghell @raphslovemuffin80 @xanadu-702 @iheartchv @justalotoffanfiction @zombiesnips-blog @fyreball66 @yorshie @fluffytriceratops @pheradream-15 @memes-in-a-half-shell @sais-matters @kikithedreamerwriter @peaches4daddy @shakeyourtrees @happymoonangel

*If you aren’t on this list, please let me know if you want me to tag you in my other work or if you prefer me to not tag you 😘

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Other Parts: Part One, Part Two, Part Three (short version).and Part Four.

Luckily the first few days after the visitors got back were manic so you didn't have to think about how your life had changed. You shut yourself away with Johanna and monitored everything about her condition. You slept at the foot of her bed, fetched her meals, helped her walk to the bathroom and just basically let your life revolve around her in a similar way as you had with Finnick. You supposed you had a pattern of throwing everything into fixing someone's life when you felt your own was falling apart.

Your sister was smart though and knew something was up. She'd asked you how you'd been but you only gave vague answers. When she mentioned you to other people they looked away and she was beginning to think you'd done something horrendous based on the reactions. She was so proud but getting a little tired of all the secrecy. She'd finally managed to convince you to take her on some walks so she could leave her room and her hope was she'd see someone who would actually be honest with her about what was happening. So she was ecstatic when you bumped into Finnick, you not so much. "There he is!" Johanna said "the real-life merman, where have you been I've hardly seen you!" Johanna said as Finnick walked into the infirmary. He jumped at her voice and you seemed just as nervous. "Johanna we should go get you sat back down" you said but she pushed your comments away and looked to Finnick, expecting a reply. "I've just been busy" he said awkwardly and Johanna smiled "oh yeah with Annie? I bet you're having fun being back together?". You felt your cheeks go bright red and Finnick wrung his arms out of the sheer awkwardness. He shrugged at Johanna and looked right past her to you.

"Y/n" he said softly "please can we talk?". "Sorry we've got to go, Johanna's late for an appointment". "No I'm not, what's going on?" your sister asked but you just looked at her and in your best big sister voice said "Johanna, come on!". She could see the fear in your eyes so she nodded to Finnick and followed you out.

"So" Joanna said after you'd gotten her back into her room and finally stopped chattering on about random stuff in a failed effort to distract her from what she witnessed "are you going to tell me what that weirdness with you and Finnick was or am I going to have to break out of here and ask him?". You shook your head, you'd managed a few days pretending it hadn't happened and she'd hear it sooner or later so better it came from you. "The two of us had a thing" you shrugged and Johanna grinned. "Alright Y/n! He's a total upgrade from that last girl you were into! So how did it happen? Did you go for it first or him? Is he as good in bed as we all think". You blinked "I'm not sure I want to answer any of those questions" and Johanna could see your expression and knew you were upset. "What happened?" she repeated "you said you had a thing, how much of a thing". "We were dating" you admitted "publically, everyone here knows or I guess knew". Johanna's brows furrowed and then it clicked "until Annie came back". You nodded "Finnick thought she was dead, that's the only reason he was with me". Johanna shook her head "not the only reason, he's not like that". You shrugged "well what does it matter? She's back and I'm dumped". "Did he actually say that?" Johanna asked and you shook your head "no, he's been trying to talk to me since she got back but I've been avoiding him. I already know what he's going to say so what's the point?". Johanna hit you with surprising force and you moved your arm away from her. "Ow!" you cried "bitch". "Well bitch is better than coward! Go speak to him! You don't know, he might still want you". You shook your head "he won't she's the love of his life. I know his decision, it's pretty obvious and I just don't want to hear him say it to me". "You won't be able to face him until you do" Johanna argued. "Who says I want to face him?" you asked "honestly, I just want to forget that Finnick Odair ever existed".

You meant that 100% but your sister also meant what she said and she knew you'd regret not talking this out with Finnick, or so she thought. So she came up with a plan to make you face him. Basically, she told Finnick she desperately needed to talk to him about you. Then when he arrived she popped out to nip to the toilet, waited for you to come for her "check-up" appointment, watched you go into her room and locked the door. "You're not coming out until you talk to him Y/n!" she yelled.

You really hated your sister sometimes. It was just like her to ignore what you'd said and do what she thought was best. She was so stubborn too and you knew there was no way she was letting you out until she did what you said. "Johanna!" you grumbled under your breath before turning back to Finnick "okay fine, you want to talk so talk but I have some rules. No apologising, no telling me how great I am or asking if we can stay friends. Okay?". Finnick blinked just as surprised by this situation. He'd wanted to speak to you for days but now you were in front of him, he was a little nervous. He nodded, taking in you and your rules and the words came easy to him because he'd been thinking over them for the past few days nonstop. He still felt so much emotion when he looked at you though so he needed a few breaths to compose himself. "Well I just wanted to say I never meant for this to happen and that I'm...you got me through everything this past year and I wanted to thank you for that. You meant a lot to me Y/n and nothing will change that, I will always care about you and every moment we spent together was real for me okay?". You nodded "got it, we done?". Finnick couldn't think of anything else he could say to make this right so he nodded "okay". "Great, see you around!" you said and banged on the door "Johanna he says we're done" and Finnick yelled for her to let you out. "That was like 20 seconds!" she complained and you nodded "I told you, here's nothing left for him to tell me" and you stormed off to sulk.

You refused to speak to Johanna after that and you suspected she sent Katniss after you. The Mockingjay appeared at your door and asked if you wanted to talk a walk outside. You walked through the rubble aimlessly before stopping by some trees. Once you sat down it began.

"I'm sorry" Katniss said and wanted to choke her but considering Peeta just did that you thought it might be a bit harsh. "It must be difficult" she said, unaware of your inner monologue "to have someone appear and take everything away from you". You knew she was speaking more through her own situation so managed not to get annoyed. "How are you coping?" you asked her "have you seen him since...?". Katniss nodded "a few times, it's still the same". "Well if someone did that to him it can be undone. It's just like computer programming, they'll work out a way". Katniss didn't look convinced and you weren't really good at comforting sad people. So you did what just felt natural. You rested your head on her shoulder. Katniss stiffened and you wondered if you'd overstepped but then she leaned back on you. "Thanks Y/n" she whispered and you nodded "no problem" and just sat in silence.

You first saw Annie a few weeks later. You were eating in the dining hall and went to put your plate away as she walked in...with Finnick. You of course stopped like a deer in headlights and stared at them. Annie noticed you after Finnick and her gaze turned icy which made sense. Everyone here knew about you and Finnick, it couldn't be a nice welcome to receive. Everyone at District 13 was used to you and Finnick so even though Annie was with him first, it was like she was the new one in their eyes which anyone would hate. The whole room went silent as she walked in and stared at the three of you which didn't exactly help. You had no idea what they thought was going to happen. You and Annie weren't going to start fighting or having a slanging match in the middle of lunch. There was nothing to fight about, she had him and you didn't. End of story. The situation was so tragic it was like a soap opera and you didn't do tragic. So you raised your head, pretended neither of them was there and walked right past them.

You felt quite proud of how you'd handled yourself but not everyone did. Finnick followed you out and when you wouldn't respond to his calls he ran after you. He quickly caught up with you and you couldn't pretend you didn't hear him anymore. "Y/n come on it doesn't have to be like this!" he said and you rolled your eyes "like what? Were nothing Finnick". "I know and that's the problem! I don't want to pretend you don't exist" Finnick said and you sighed "well we can't exactly go back to how it was before so this is our only opinion" you replied. "But why is it?" Finnick asked "is there really no hope of us being friends or at least acquaintances who say hello to each other". You raised your eyebrow at him. With as much malice as you could muster you spat "grow up Finnick" and walked away.

He didn't follow.

After that Finnick didn't try and talk to you again. He and Annie avoided you, if you passed them on the corridor, they'd look away. He started training in a different space and moved his room away from yours. You told Johanna you were over it but that was a lie. It hurt every time you got a reminder of them and you had no idea why the pain wasn't going away. Nearly two months had passed and you still felt as shitty as the first day you realised you lost him. You weren't sure how much more you could take and then one day you found Finnick waiting outside your room. "I need to tell you something" he said and you didn't even have the strength to fight it. You figured the sooner he started the sooner he could leave and regretted your actions almost immediately.

"Annie asked me to marry her" Finnick started and a reaction literally burst out of you without any control. "Jesus christ Finnick!" you yelled "why are you telling me this? Why did you think I should hear this personally? This is exactly what I want to hear right now, this is just what I want. Did you really think I'd prefer it over Johanna telling me what day to stay in my room and avoid the ceremony? I know you think you're helping but you're really not!". "No see that's the thing!" Finnick said "we're not getting married! I told her no!".

You had another long rant ready but that threw you off guard "no? Okay...so why tell me?". "Because it made me realise how different my mind and Annie's are. It made me realise I don't feel for her like I used to...I'm not in love with her anymore. I'm in love with you".

You blinked your eyes several times but Finnick didn't go away so you just asked "I'm sorry?" and Finnick smiled. "Y/n I'm so sorry for all of this and that it took me this long to say it but I want you! I miss you so much and I'm at my happiest with you. I don't want to marry Annie, I want you. So will you please take me back?". "Take you back?" you asked "but Annie...she's you're soulmate, you're the Katniss and Peeta of District 4. You saved her!". "She helped save me too but she's not my soulmate, that doesn't exist and I don't love her that way anymore. My feelings for you are stronger than my feelings for her and I can't hug or kiss her without wishing it was you. I tried to press on at first but it's not fair to anyone. I know I've hurt you a lot but can you consider it" Finnick asked "I need you Y/n".

In retrospect, considering all Finnick knew about you he should've expected you to throw a punch at him. However, he didn't and you caught him on the jaw.

"You need me?" you yelled throwing a punch and Finnick groaned in pain. "You need me? Are you joking! What do you think this has been like for me?". "You needed me? I needed you Finnick" you said choking up and he nodded also tearing up. "I know I'm sorry, Y/n I'm so sorry" he said and hugged you. You melted into his touch and cried as he held you tightly against him.

Even after you'd calmed down, Finnick kept his arms around you and you didn't mind. You'd missed him so much you didn't want him to ever let go. "I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight" you told him and he looked at you with a frown "why?". "Because I'll wake up and this will go away, it will have been a dream". Finnick shook his head "this is real Y/n, I'm not going anywhere...again" and for good measure he pinched you. When you jumped he smiled "see, not dreaming". You were going to push him when you saw the red mark on his face.

"Shit I did that didn't I?" you asked and Finnick worked out what you meant "yes you did". "Does it hurt?" you asked and got your answer when Finnick jumped as you touched it. "I'm so sorry, let me get an icepack," you said and ran from the room before Finnick could respond.

You returned quickly after and Finnick let you lay him down and apply the pack. "I'm sorry for hitting you but that really came from nowhere". Finnick frowned "well it wouldn't have if you'd have let me talk to you". "You didn't want to talk to me at the start, you still thought you wanted Annie". "Did I though?" Finnick asked "you never gave me a chance to tell you otherwise. The second Annie got back you ran away from me and wouldn't speak to me". "True" you agreed "but what was I meant to think? That you'd choose Annie over me? If I'd have come to you and told you I didn't want to lose you that night she got back, would you really have considered me over Annie?". "Yes" Finnick said without hesitation "100% and I think part of me was desperate for you to" he admitted "I wanted you to tell me you wanted me so I could say it back".

Your jaw dropped to the floor. "I had no idea I had that option" you admitted "I thought I couldn't hold a flame to her". Finnick shook his head "Y/n, you're the person who saved me after I was rescued. You were the reason I got out of bed each morning and the reason I'm still alive. I think the day I left the capitol the old me died and here I became a new one thanks to you. I was happy with you and so when Annie appeared it was surreal. When you retreated I tried to carry on as before but I couldn't because I was different. The truth is I'd accepted her death and I'd moved on. I will always care and love Annie but it's so different with you. With Annie, it came from our shared experience and trauma...which was important, I needed that but I didn't realise there could be more in a relationship. I got that from you. We had shared trauma but it wasn't dependent or dishabilitating, being with you made me strong" Finnick smiled "you made me feel so powerful and valuable as well as feeling so loved and supported. I wasn't a victor, a District 4 golden boy or a mentor, it was almost like I was the pre-games Finnick. You made me feel human again and helped me forget. You're...pretty special" he finished and you smiled. "Finnick I..." and you paused. You'd never told anyone you loved them before. Even Johanna and you didn't say it often so you were scared to say it to Finnick. You thought you were in love with him but didn't want to make yourself so vulnerable. Finnick seemed to sense this and he took your hands "it's okay Y/n, you don't have to say anything" and he hugged you. You settled against his chest and closed your eyes.

Finnick said you held a candle to the love of his life! Maybe one day, you could be his new one. Maybe you were already on your way there?

"So do you guys have to make an announcement retracting your breakup or something?" Johanna asked the next day "or do you just announce you're together again?" she asked. "I think neither" Finnick said and you nodded your head "they've had enough fun with our private life". "Yeah but how will they all know you're not with Annie anymore?" Johanna asked. "Well considering I moved out of her place, settled back into Y/n's and we've been seen pretty much everywhere together I think they'll get the message". You nodded "they have, I've had quite a few girls smiling at me today". Finnick laughed "maybe they were just being friendly?" and you and Johanna both shot him a look. "No, it wasn't a casual smile it was like a well-done smile. A you got the prize smile". "You got the prize?" Finnick asked "do you need me to wear a little bow or something from you?". "Maybe if that's the only thing you're wearing" you agreed and Finnick grinned "evening plans". "Eugh, I didn't realise how gross this was going to be, can you two stop undressing each other with your eyes while I'm sat right here?". "No" you and Finnick responded at the same time and Johanna stormed away. "You're way too sweet and cute you know?" she called and you smiled "we know".

"Were you and Finnick like this from the start?" Johanna asked later when Finnick had left and it was safe to be in the room again. You smiled "like what?" and she rolled her eyes "all gross and all over each other. So happy and horny". You went to argue before realising you didn't have a leg to stand on and nodded "yeah actually that's a pretty accurate description". Johanna shook her head "I just had no idea the two of you would work so well together, I mean I knew you were attracted to one another but this is something else". "Wait go back, you knew we were attracted to one another?". Johanna nodded "duh! The first time you saw Finnick you couldn't take your eyes off him and yes he was half-naked but it was different. You were looking at him how you used to look at Sophia Grey back home". You smiled at the memory of her and shrugged "that's probably accurate, I still think Finnick's the hottest man to ever exist but you said you could tell he was attracted to me too?". Johanna nodded "yeah he liked your charisma and charm. People usually got tongue-tied around him but you were the belle of the ball and he was attracted to that. Not to mention you were a pretty young female who had just won her games, I didn't think Finnick would do anything because he had Annie but I still wanted to separate you so others didn't get any ideas". You nodded "Finnick mentioned that, I never realised how much you did for me, how you've been protecting me even since I got out of the games". "And now you've got Finnick to take my place" Johanna said not hiding her bitterness and you smiled "I'll always need my big sister. Plus we're Masons, from the womb to the tomb!". You could tell you took Johanna by surprise with that one and she burst out laughing "what the fuck is that? Where did you hear it?". "It's good right?" you asked and she shook her head "it's fucking terrible!".

"Now back onto the topic of you and Finnick because I still have questions" Johanna said "how did that even happen? Especially if he thought Annie was dead". You explained how you cared for him and became friends that way. "There was always an attraction there and then one day he saw me naked. He stared and was pretty obvious so I came to his bedroom at night and asked if he wanted to have sex". Johanna laughed "you just went up and asked?" and you nodded. "I'm impressed" she smiled "and I bet Finnick was too". You nodded "he seemed it. From there we spent more time together, bonded, emotions got involved, Annie came back from the dead, Finnick came back to me and boom. Present day". Joahnna nodded "and he makes you happy right?". You smiled without even thinking and nodded. "Good" Johanna said "and if he ever hurts you again I'll kill him".

The war really started speeding up after that and before you knew it Katniss was spotted in the capital. When you heard, Finnick sat up straight in his seat and you could tell what he wanted to do from the look in his eye. So the two of you were on the next ship out to join Katniss. Johanna couldn't come because of her injuries and you refused to help smuggle her out. She claimed she was never going to speak to you again but hugged you tightly before you left. "Come back" she told you forcefully and you nodded "I will, we both will" but felt like you'd cursed yourselves the second you'd said that. You got a horrible sinking feeling and realised you'd rather not come back at all than come back without Finnick.

Things weren't too bad at first when you got to the capitol, you used Bogg's tracker thing to safely navigate your way through the capitol but then everything went wrong. Bogg was hurt and died in seconds. Then one of the soldiers triggered a trap trying to get to her sister. A black tar-like substance began to pour down and you were one of the first to react. You grabbed Finnick, pushed him in one direction and headed for the girl who couldn't walk. You and her sister were carrying her to a house when you heard Finnick shout and go back. "Finnick!" you yelled and wanted to go after him but you couldn't abandon this girl. "I'm okay. We're here!" you heard him yell a few seconds later and you breathed out in relief. You broke your way into a building and carried the girl upstairs. The substance was getting closer and you realised there was nowhere else to go. You put the girl down and began to assess the area. You kicked open one of the doors and began moving her through there. The others followed you and that was when you noticed Finnick had Peeta in a tight grip. "What happened?" you asked and then you saw the body hanging outside. "A bit of trouble" Finnick told you before smiling "but we're fine, especially now that stuff has stopped". He was right, the tar was retreating and draining away as if it had never been chasing you.

You moved to a new building where you found out you were all dead! Finnick laughed at the death announcements until yours appeared. That sobered him up but you just smiled "wow they remembered my name? I'm famous!". Katniss rolled her eyes at you and Finnick, who still didn't like you talking this way, passed you some food and sat next to you. You all ate and rested before working out the next steps. You realised after that the streets were a no-go and decided the sewer was a better bet because nothing bad ever happens in the sewers!

You navigated your way down the tunnels and then stopped to sleep in an alcove that seemed safe. You and Finnick woke at Lieutenant Jackson's shout at the same time. You grabbed each other's stuff and were out of that tunnel first. It was antagonising, walking through those tunnels while hearing animalistic noises and having no idea if they were getting closer or further away. Gale led in front with his gun and you were behind him, helping pass on Pollux's directions. You could tell something bad was going to happen, you could almost feel it in the air and so did Finnick. When the two of you climbed through the tunnel, he subtly grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the group. He was already backing away when the first swarm appeared and killed Lieutenant Jackson before she could even scream. Gale opened fire and you worried Finnick might try and go back to grab Peeta but luckily he didn't. He had a hand on Pollux and was practically dragging him with you as he ran. Pollux pointed and Finnick would yell the direction to you urging you to go faster. You could hear the others behind you and were glad they were still alive. You felt a little bad for not checking they were okay before you ran but survival skills are a bitch and the only thing you wanted from this was for Finnick and hopefully, yourself to survive.

You reached a ladder and pushed Pollux to the front, the others appeared closely followed by those things. You finally got a good look at them and you were horrified. So much so you were frozen to the spot until one charged at you. You threw an axe at what you assumed was its face and then threw two more as others took its place. It was chaos, you saw Cressida go up the ladder and were looking for Finnick to tell him to go next when you were tackled by one. Its jaws were horrible and it was trying more than anything to bite you. You just had an axe ready when its neck was slit was a trident. "Come on you're next up!" Finnick cried yanking you onto your feet and pushing you to the ladder. "Not without you!" you said and he shook his head "I'm right behind you" so you started to climb. You made it up and realised Holmes was up here too. You could hear more of those things down there and tried to see what was going on but it was a mess. A figure appeared and you got hopeful until you realised it was Peeta. You yanked him up and then climbed back down the ladder. "FINNICK!" you yelled and it took you a few seconds to spot him. He was further away than Katniss and Gale who were right below the ladder. He was alone and the obvious one to be left behind unless something happened now!

"Finnick!" you cried again and Katniss looked up at you but Gale just pushed her towards the ladder and she started to climb. Gale called to Finnick but didn't make any moves to get him. He was going to die. Katniss had nearly reached you and was yelling a you to climb but you couldn't. There was no way you were going up that ladder without Finnick, so you let go.

Katniss tried to grab you as you fell but luckily she missed. You managed to grab one of the bars near the bottom to slow your fall but still hit your knee on the way down. Pain exploded in your leg but you didn't care. It could've been broken and you would've forced yourself to stand. The creatures were trying to swarm Finnick and you threw yourself, literally, into them. You knocked two down before decapitating another two with a spear Finnick had dropped. You kicked one into the water and buried your axe in another three. "Y/n what are you doing? You were up and out!" Finnick cried as you fought your way towards him. When you were near he grabbed your arm and pulled you beside him. "Yeah but you weren't!" you replied "we both get out or neither of us!". In the middle of all of that, Finnick smiled at you "Katniss and Peeta who?" and you couldn't help but smile back.

You worked together fighting side by side and were doing well but they just wouldn't stop coming. "We need a way to stop them or slow them down" Finnick panted and you nodded "but how?" when something came to you. "Finnick throw the trident!" you cried and he locked eyes with you and got it. "Duck!" he said and threw it into the larger tunnel, pressing the button that would make the whole thing explode. It was similar technology to Katniss' arrows but as Finnick's trident was bigger than her arrow, the explosion was also larger. The whole tunnel collapsed, killing all of those creatures down there. One down, one more to go you through as more came from the other side.

The blast had destroyed the concrete leading to the ladder so there was no way you were escaping that way and you stopped trying. You and Finnick were both injured, covered in water and these things blood but neither of you stopped and finally got to a lul as Finnick killed the last one. "Come on, we've got to push forward" Finnick said taking your hand and running through the tunnels. It was fine for the first few seconds and then you heard sounds of more. "There's too many of them for us to kill one-on-one we need to get somewhere high!" you told Finnick "Somewhere out of the water and I can deal with them". Finnick looked at you and got it "I think I saw somewhere on the map" and you nodded trusting him.

You ran for what felt like forever and you spotted the ladder at the same time you heard the creatures. "Come on let's go!" Finnick yelled and you both started sprinting. When you reached the ladder Finnick literally picked you up and tossed you halfway up it before scrambling up after you. You could actually hear the creatures' footsteps now and their claws reached the ladder just as you got up. You immediately turned around and yanked Finnick up. He fell on top of you and you pushed him onto the floor. "Finnick stay down!" you yelled and activated your own weapon, lobbing it down the hole, right past the creatures on their way to you. However, instead of staying down, Finnick leapt up and rugby tackled you away from the hole and used his body to cover you as the electrified axe exploded. You both cried out as the electricity hit you too but Finnick had shared the charge with you and after a few seconds you could breathe again.

You heard screams of agony as the creatures were basically fried alive, as well as everything close in the tunnel. The sparks lit up the whole space and the stench was awful. You could taste metal in your mouth and you both kept spasaming as some extra electricity escaped you but you were alive. Finnick had saved your life and to thank him you leaned over and kissed him. Finnick jumped at the contact but soon relaxed at the sensation and when you broke away opened his eyes. "Thank you" you told him and he shot you his beautiful smile "you said it Y/n, both of us or neither of us" and he took your hand and ventured out of the tunnels.

You and Finnick climbed higher and ran through some more of the underground tracks. You came across a few peacekeepers but managed to take them out easily. After the monsters you'd just dealt with humans were easy. You got one of their guns which solved your weapons running out problem but you couldn't hold the whole capitol off indefinitely. "We need to find the others" you said and Finnick shook his head "no we need somewhere to hide". You didn't ask where because there would be no point in that, so you just nodded and kept going. You didn't want to spend any more time underground and even though it was a risk, you and Finnick followed a tunnel above ground. You began gathering rocks to throw to test for any traps but stopped when Finnick began to laugh. When you asked what was going on, he picked you up and swirled you around in a hug. "We're going to make it" he smiled "come on, I know where we are". You didn't have any follow-up questions and followed Finnick as he carefully led you to a house.

Finnick knocked on the door heavily and on the second time it opened. Finnick wasted no time forcing his way inside and dragging you inside. You slammed the door shut behind you and blinked to see an older man staring at you. He was in a bright pink dressing gown with feathers on the collar. "Finnick?" he asked and Finnick smiled "don't tell me you forgot your most profitable worker?".

"You worked for him?" you hissed when you and Finnick were alone "as in he let people do those things to you and actually encouraged it?". Finnick nodded "yes but believe it or not, Feather was one of the good ones. He always tried to protect me and made the clients treat me...well not nicely but to a standard. He also helped me escape it all and return to my district". That did sound better but you still put a hand on Finnick's arm when the man, Feather, returned.

"I can't see any guards but it's still best I hide you but I can only hold you for a few hours". Finnick nodded "I know, if we could just rest for the night that's all we need". Feather sighed "you're lucky you were my favourite" he said and then spotted you glaring at him. He smiled "friend of yours?" he asked Finnick, looking down at how your hand was clamped over Finnick's arm and you'd angled your body so you were in front of him protectively. "Something like that" Finnick smiled "do you have any supplies? We're a bit banged up". Feather nodded "of course, let me grab some things and I'll show you to your room. I'm sorry to stick you in the basement but it's the safest place". You tensed at the idea of going underground again and struggled when Feather opened a trap door that led to darkness. You weren't sure if you could down it but Finnick took your hand. "It's be okay" he told you and taking a deep breath you went down the steps.

The basement was small, cold but filled with things so at least it didn't look bleak or scary. There was a sofa in one end which Feather placed his supplies on. "So this is your bed for the night. It's my old one, nothing wrong with it I just had to move it once a stain got on it. Velvet is so hard to get stains out of!" he complained and you blinked. You couldn't tell if you were more annoyed that he was genuinely mad about stains in a world that killed children or more disgusted about what the stain might be. Luckily Finnick was a social butterfly.

"Thank you so much Feather, this will be great". Feather nodded clearly fond of praise "I will go get you some blankets, I've given you some warm clothes but it is awfully chilly down here. Be back in a few!" and he disappeared cheerily up the steps.

"Right okay so lets assess your injuries" Finnick said turning to you expectantly with his hands on his hips. "I'm okay" you said and Finnick shot you a "really" look making you roll your eyes. "Fine, I hurt my knee earlier and think it could swell, I also rolled my ankle and it's still bothering me a bit, my hip also took a knock and I'm missing two fingernails that were ripped off". Finnick nodded "let me take a look at your legs first". You nodded and Finnick peeled off your trousers before wincing. Already your hip had a nasty bruise on it and your knee was swelling. "Yeah there's no way you're walking tomorrow" Finnick winced "good thing I've got experience carrying people". You shook your head "no way! It leaves you exposed! I'll walk just fine after a bit of rest". Finnick shook his head "maybe with a wheelchair yeah because by tomorrow this ankle will be huge and painful. There's no use arguing over it, I saved your life remember so you owe me". "I mean technically by jumping down that ladder I probably also saved your life so aren't we even?" you tried to joke but Finnick wasn't in a joking mood.

He grabbed you and kissed you sharply and passionately. When he separated he didn't let go. "I am not losing you Y/n, we just got through the craziest night of our lives and I am not surviving all that to lose you tomorrow. Don't do that to me" he demanded but it sounded more like he was begging. His eyes were ablaze with anger and sadness and you immediately backed down. "Okay" you agreed "okay, we'll work it out tomorrow" and you cradled him to you. Finnick buried his head in your neck taking some deep breaths before nodding and pulling away.

He sat back and nodded to you "now let me help you get cleaned up". Finnick cleaned the cuts and wounds you had and then helped you get changed. He bandaged your ankle the best he could and put some soothing gel on your hip and knee before helping you get dressed. You then switched and did the same for him. His body was okay but he was covered in scratches and bruises. Some of the scratches were quite deep and you disinfected them hoping they wouldn't need stitches. Finnick was just getting changed when there was a knock at the door.

"Delivery service!" Feather called "so I've got several blankets" which he tossed to Finnick "and also some food". "Feather you're amazing!" Finnick gasped grabbing a bowl and passing it straight to you. "Oh it's nothing! Just some soup and bread my chief made. I figured it might warm you up". "It will thank you" Finnick smiled sinking next to you and Feather smiled. He genuinely seemed pleased to see Finnick again and you supposed there must be some good in this man deep down despite the things he did. He waited for you both to finish your soup which didn't take long and then took the bowls.

"Right so it's mandatory lights out in 10 minutes do you guys need anything else before I lock you in". "Lock us in?" you asked panicked and Feather looked at you "It's a trap door I can't just keep it open! If the peacekeepers break in they'll find you straight away and we'll all be dead. The safest way is to hide the door completely and yes lock you in". You still didn't like the idea of it but Finnick touched your arm "that's fine, we'll be fine. Thank you again". The man nodded "see you in the morning" and left. Seconds later the sound of a sharp click told you, you were sealed in.

"Hey Y/n it's okay" Finnick said reaching out for you and pulling you into his chest "we're fine, we're safe and we're not in the sewers". You buried your head against him and he repeated this a few more times before you stopped shaking. When you lifted your head you realised it wasn't exactly pitch black. You could see some outlines of things and Finnick. You played with his hands and nodded "we're okay, we're alright, we're safe and have somewhere to sleep for the night". Finnick nodded "exactly" and kissed your head "and I know this sounds horrible but I'm so glad you're here". You chuckled and Finnick laughed too "I just mean, if I could have anyone here with me I'd want it to be you". You nodded "yeah I get that, even though it's terrifying I feel better because you're here". Finnick nodded pressing his face into your hair. "We'll get through this" he said "we'll survive it and when we do, you and I are moving far away from all this and just living". You smiled "tell me more about this great escape we're going on". Even though it was dark you could tell Finnick was smiling.

"We'll move near the ocean" he told you "we'll live just off the beach and spend our days fishing, surfing, swimming and doing whatever the hell we want. We'll spend our evenings sitting around a campfire, listening to music and we'll have the ocean to lull us to sleep every night. You'll see the most amazing sunsets and sunrises and have the most amazing beach make-out sessions. Trust me beaches are the best places for that". "You've had lots of experience with that huh?" You asked and Finnick shushed you with a kiss. When you were too breathless to speak he continued "we'll workout on the sand, build sand castles, float for hours on end and the best part? It will be just the two of us and it will be perfect" he told you. "I like that" you whispered "I want that, especially the nobody else being around part...but we'll probably have to have a spare hut for when Johanna gets bored and decides to appear at our doorstep". Finnick nodded "oh yeah there's no way we're keeping your sister out". "She'd come through the door with an axe like that old movie, here's Johanna!" you said and Finnick chuckled. "Well as long as you're there too I think I can handle your sister". You smirked "those are bold words, I'm related to her and I can't even handle her" and Finnick laughed. "We'll double team it there, figure it out together" he turned you to face him and you could just make out his eyes in the dark, "Together" you agreed and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. You separated and lay tightly together, praying the sun would never rise.

[wallflower-collection]

To Be His

Ron Weasley X Reader

Summary: The day after Ron Weasley is seen kissing Lavender Brown.

You rolled over and groaned as you heard yet another knock at your door. It was almost noon on Sunday and everyone else had already left your dorm room to get a start on their day. You didn’t even plan to leave your bed. Yesterday had been a very miserable day, at least the second half of the day. 

It started with breakfast like every other morning and then watching a quidditch match between houses. Of course, you weren’t known to be a huge fan of quidditch. Nevertheless, you still attended to the match to see Gryffindor emerge victorious. You decided to attend the Gryffindor party and have regretted that decision ever since. When you walked through the portrait door there was a large gathering of people and you could see Ron standing proudly among them. Your face lit up and a blush crept across your cheeks. Ron deserved to have an undeniable win. In fact, he was the whole reason you attended the quidditch match in the first place. As soon as you started to make your way over to Ron, you saw Lavender reach for him. To you horror, she started to horrendously kiss him and he reciprocated with the same energy. 

Harry and Hermione watched as tears slipped from your eyes. You practically ran out of the room with them right behind you. The rest of the night included the pair consoling you and you eventually making your way to your bed. You were sure you that several different people had been knocking at your door all day and assumed Ron was one of those people. The situation just didn’t make any sense to you. You thought things had been going well between you and Ron. Nothing too serious has happened yet, but he’d been walking you to class, eating some meals with you, and even went to the library with you a handful of times. Perhaps, you weren’t as well versed in reading people as you thought. 

About a half of an hour later, a pounding started on your day again. “Y/N! Let me in, it’s Harry!”

An exasperated sigh left your lips as you stepped out of bed in your pajamas. When you opened your door, Harry looked a bit surprised. “I didn’t think that would work that well,” he said as he stepped inside. Before saying anything else he closed the door behind him. “I’ve been here several times and so has Hermione. I reckon Ron sat outside your door all night.”

“I doubt that,” you said looking down at the floor. 

“He was still out there when I came ,” Harry stated,” I told him to leave and get some rest. I knew there was no way you’d talk to me if you saw him out there when you opened the door.”

“That was a good assumption to make,” you said as you plopped back down on your bed. 

“You need to see him,” Harry asserted to you. 

“No, I don’t. There’s nothing to say to him. If he wants to be with Lavender, then he’s more than welcome too and I won’t get in the way. I-I just don’t understand the sudden shift in his romantic interests.” 

“There wasn’t a shift; there was a mistake. Ron never had an interest in Lavender. He made a poor choice when she kissed him to kiss her back, clearly not thinking of what could happen,” Harry said. 

You took in a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. It was a horrible decision on his part. Somehow, that decision didn’t tamper down the feelings you hold for him. 

“You need to talk to him,” Harry asserted,” he should be eating breakfast right about now and you should go find him.”

“ I don’t know about that,” you said. 

“If you don’t go find him now, Hermione will be the next one in here telling you what to do,” Harry said. 

You knew there wasn’t a way you could out logic Hermione into convincing you to see Ron.

“ I’ll let you know how it goes,” you said to Harry as you stood up to go change. Harry quickly made his way out of the room after wishing you luck. 

Ron was not near the dining hall to your surprise and you found yourself aimlessly wandering the halls of Hogwarts. If he wasn’t eating, he must really be feeling awful. A hint of worry began to tug at your heart. He may have hurt your feelings, but he didn’t deserve for his to be hurt. Ron could make his own decisions and those decisions didn’t always have to involve you. Your thoughts began racing which caused you to consider you may be overreacting to this whole situation. 

You jolted back to reality as you crashed into someone walking down the corridor. Strong arms and a familiar scent enveloped you before you fell to the floor. Ron had you wrapped tightly in his arm and held you close to his body. Part of you wanted to pull away, however the warmth and comfort of the embrace was a feeling you did not wish to escape from. “Are you alright,” you asked him first. The response you received was a quick shake of his head followed by,” I’m so sorry.” 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” you responded,”if anything it’s my own fault. I let me feelings get the best of me and for someone that hasn’t even claimed me as theirs.”

“I’m a complete and utter useless git,” Ron said. He readjusted where he stood to you. He backed away so he could fully see you, however he kept ahold of your forearms with his large hands. “ I was so wrapped up in the party and had drunk some, which is still no excuse. I just didn’t think before I did anything. As soon as I came to my senses, I pushed her away from me in just enough time to see Harry and Hermione running out of the room. I tried to talk to you all night, but you wouldn’t answer the door,” Ron told you. 

“I know, Harry told me.”  

“If you want nothing to do with me just tell me and I’ll try my best to not run into you,” Ron said to you. You could see the pain in his face and the water building in the corners of his eyes. “I don’t think I’d ever want you to leave me alone. I reckon we have something to discuss, but I could never want you to leave me alone,” you said. 

For a moment, you both stood in silence staring at each other. Both of you had emotions right at the surface that were waiting to boil over. “ I don’t care if it takes time or if I have to prove something to you,” Ron said,” I want you to be mine and for me to be yours. Just yours, not anyone else’s and I know I’ve ruined that already. Even if it takes months, I want you to trust me and to want me to be yours.” 

You gulped before speaking,” You are mine, at least to me. That’s why I got so upset. We just need to communicate and figure somethings out.” You wrapped your arms around Ron’s neck and he wrapped his arms around your torso. You held him as tightly as you could. “Then let’s talk. We can get something to eat, find a place to be alone, and just talk,” Ron said to you. 

“I like that plan,” you said to Ron. When you parted from the hug, Ron was quick to take hold of your hand in his. You headed for the dinning hall and then, to have a very important conversation.

He is yours and you are his ; that’s what mattered the most to you. 

[wellthebardsdead]

Falûne: *quietly walks to the stables holding a bucket and cloth* has he, moved any since he woke up?

Dammon: *pouring hot water into a tub for him as he asked* only to ask, *clears his throat* “where the pretty blue tiefling went.” *smiles at him and quirks his brow* can only imagine he meant you~

Falûne: *visibly blushes* he was, very scared and emotional when he woke up without the absolutes voice in his head anymore, all he could do was cry and hold my hand as we brought him here… but given how most of the tieflings and Harpers reacted to him… I’m worried we made a bad decision…

Dammon: hm… maybe. Maybe not, but he seems to trust you, and given what we’re up against, we could use all the allies we can get. *pushes the tub of water into the stall* I’ll give you both some privacy. *waves to them and walks back to the small forge*

Falûne: thank you… *walks into the stall and sets the bucket down* Kar’niss was it?… can I clean you up? You’re covered in blood.

Kar’niss: *trills out a shaking breath as he unfurls his legs slowly and looks back at him* I’ve been used and abandoned… again… it’s so, so quiet…

Falûne: *has a vague understanding of how drow become drider* first lolth, then an elder brain posing as a god… you’ve had bad luck with divinity my friend…

Kar’niss: *hisses at the mention of lolth* the spider bitch, I served her loyally, I served her without fail, I vowed my life to her servitude and one mistake was all it took to condemn me to this fate!! Then- the absolute- her voice, it was so dark in the caves, I was so hungry, it was so quiet, her cultists trapped me, they dropped that leach onto my face and laughed as they told it to “pick an eye!!” *grips his head as if in pain* it tore my mind to pieces! It… it broke what was left of me… *looks down at the swirling light of the moon maidens blessing beneath his feet* but… your goddess, allowed me to be blessed still?… why?

Falûne: the moon maiden isn’t cruel. She is forgiving. Kind, loving… *walks to him slowly, smiling as the drider doesn’t recoil from his approach* I think… *gently takes his hand* you need that sort of love in your life.

Kar’niss: *staring at his hand in bewilderment before staring at his smiling face* she?… won’t abandon me?…

Falûne: no, you’d have to do something truely horrendous and unforgivable for her to do that. *smiles and gestures to the tub* so will you let me clean you now?

Kar’niss: *trills and purrs lowly as he looks back down at the blessing dancing at his feet* yes… please…

*several hours later*

Astarion: I have to say he looks quite nice not covered in filth… you though, you look exhausted.

Falûne: *covered in mud and water* I am. He’s covered in tiny hairs I had to scrub so hard to clean him or the water would just roll right off.

Astarion: oh dear, did he protest at all?

Falûne: No if anything he enjoyed it more… he found he could wear a giant water droplet for a hat and was amused for hours. The kids seem to think it’s pretty neat too.

Meanwhile Kar’niss: *smiling as he gives the tiefling kids rides around the inn*

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Choice - Part 11

Summary: You and Luke talk

A/N: Hello Lovelies,

I'm sorry for not posting yesterday, the water was off, and then today I thought it wasn't going to happen because the brilliant construction guys that were working on our street cut the power line, and it took 6 hours for the electrical company to fix.

But ... WE HAVE POWER!!! Anyway love oo!

Warning: Angst, feelings of regret, making the wrong decision from a certain point of view, talks of family, awkward conversation. I think that's it. If I miss any please let me know.

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Luke’s words still echo across the Nevarro landscape, ‘I was wrong.’ There’s no way what you think you hear, is in fact what you heard. There’s no way Luke would show up after all these years just to say the three words you’ve always wanted him to say. 

You stood facing him, as your mind tried to understand the impact of his words. When you convinced yourself, you didn’t hear him correctly. Because that sort of hope never happened for you, there was only one conclusion, you were daydreaming. You cleared your throat as you got your mind to focus again, “Sorry. I didn’t hear what you said.”

Your heart pounded against your chest as you looked at Luke not exactly sure what to expect or want. Did you want to hear him say the same words again? Did you want to hear different words? Why was the prospect of either question so terrifying?

He took his time, as he looked at your face, wondering how he could’ve been so blind to walk away from you. How could he have thrown away years of friendship and love out the door, simply because he had his duty. How did he walk away from you, from his home, his family? He swallowed his nervousness, he glanced down to his feet, closing his eyes for a second to garner the courage he needed to be honest. 

He cleared his throat, looking into your eyes. Determination set in his face. 

“I was wrong.” 

He repeated his statement as he closed the distance between you two. He was hoping you’d respond, but the silence that greeted him wasn't boding well. He didn’t want to miss the opportunity to tell you what he had set out to tell you from the beginning of this reunion. He wanted to let you know exactly why he wanted to talk to you, why he came here to say. He took a deep breath, continuing to close the distance. 

“When I showed up” his voice echoed around you, “at the abandoned apartment I was going to tell you the reason why I showed up. But I screwed it up, as my nerves got the best of me and instead of asking how you were or how things were going on in your life. Instead, my foot got in the way and I automatically started talking about you being force sensitive, and questioning you about it. I know I probably came across as insensitive, but it wasn’t because I didn’t care. You know me better than that; it’s just … I got nervous, scared and reverted back to what I knew I could handle. The Force.”

Your heart was beating so fast, it felt as though it would beat right out of your chest. Yet, the thought that what you had wanted for years with Luke was right there at your fingertips, made you a little nauseous. You didn’t know why, but you did want to hope again and at the same time you didn’t. You didn’t want to read into his words more than you needed. You weren’t going to go down this road again, and end up with another broken heart, at least that’s what you were trying to convince yourself. 

“What are you talking about, Luke?” It was better not to give in to hope right away, you needed to protect your heart. 

Luke let out a deep sigh as he stepped closer, “What I’m trying to say, horrendously, is that your force sensitivity may have been one of the reasons I showed up on that planet. But, even before I learned about it from the force, I wanted to find you, because I realized … I realized I was wrong, I shouldn’t have walked away. I should’ve … I should’ve fought for you. For us. I was … I was too focused on what I needed to be. On my responsibility. I thought …” he ran his hand through his hair, “I thought I needed to be the perfect Jedi.”

“And now you don’t have to be the perfect Jedi?”

“No. That’s not …” 

He began pacing a little, trying to think of how he wanted to tell you what was pressing on his heart, “That day after I saved Vader, when I realized I was the last Jedi, I … I was overwhelmed with what lay before me, about my responsibility. I realized how much of my life I wouldn’t be able to control, how much I would have to give up to fulfil my duty as a Jedi Knight. I told you, I couldn’t say the words you wanted to hear not because I didn’t love you. It’s because I love you, I walked away.”

“Excuse me?”

“I know it sounds like complete bantha fodder, but it’s the truth. If I would have told you what you wanted to hear it would’ve been unfair to you. Yet, now that I had time to understand what it means to be a Jedi, I realized I was wrong. Wrong about everything, I just couldn’t handle it.”

“Handle what?”

“Us. This.” Luke motioned between the two of them, “All of it. Let’s face it, there was one thing that came naturally to me, and it was how to be a Jedi. I … was afraid”

“Afraid?”

“Yes”

“Of me?”

“What? Yes. No.”

“Well which is it, either you are or you’re not?”

“Damn it! Why is this so hard? Okay …” Luke tried to put clearly in his mind what he needed to say,  “I was afraid of disappointing you. I thought if we just went our separate ways you could have what I couldn’t give you.”

“Which was”

“A family”

“So now you’re saying, what, you can give me a family?” Seeing how much he was struggling, seeing how much he was regretting his decision, the tiniest bit of hope was brewing, despite your objections.

“What I’m saying is I was wrong to walk away, to push you away.”

“So … what? You want to start a family? Want me to come back to you?”

Luke lets out a sigh, “All I know is that I love you, and there hasn’t been a single day where I haven’t missed you. I want us to try again. To help you realise your potential in the force. Sweetheart, I just want to be with you. I love you.”

You couldn’t believe your ears, he couldn’t have said what you thought he said, you were mistaken. 

“I’m sorry, could you say that again?” Your voice trembled as what you’ve been waiting years for him to say, finally came out of his mouth. 

A smile graced his lips as he looked at you, “I said” Luke closer the distance between you, his hand caressing your cheek, “I love you. I always have. Walking away from you was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made. You were right, we can train the future Jedi together. We can teach them side-by-side, like you suggested all those years ago.”

“Are you asking me to leave with you?”

“If I did, would you say yes?”

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@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24 @spicymcnuggies @lady-ren @firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121 @discofern @kavecika @monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri @avathebestx @theroguesully @furyhellfire66 @carodealmeida @ciramaris @sprout-fics @twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian @sarcasmismyonlydefense24 @tortor-mcgee @swissy23 @hearts4ashy

[yiminsuu]

Discombobulated

(adj.) emotionally confused or uncertain.

Pairing: Cal Kestis x F!Reader

Warnings: Sexual themes (+18), violence and blood, angst and fluff, low self-esteem and depression, jealous reader, Cere and Merrin know what’s going on, virginity loss, vaginal fingering, implied smut.

Author’s Note: It’s because of this game that I like Star Wars, and it’s also the first thing I wanted to write since I finished it. If the creators wanted to hype Merrin x Cal, I have to admit it is cute but kinda rushed. 

I always make decisions like this.

Decisions that put me in danger, and the day-- or more like the week started pretty great, until the Nightsister came aboard. It's not that I hate her, she's nice and makes attempts to indulge in conversations and understand humans. I thought Merrin would be a good member given that she is powerful and not easily stressed in mission, but the moment she came... The moment Cal introduced her... I noticed it. I noticed everything.

He's with her every single second, minute, and hour of the day. When Cal came back from his missions she would be the first to welcome him back, with a hug that felt so awkward between the two of them. I sensed it without having to ask, I just needed to watch them. I don't blame Cal, she's bewitching in all the right senses... Except when she tried to kill us. The reason I felt so distraught is that Cal wasn't this attentive to me when we met, and suddenly he's so fascinated by Merrin that I feel... Left aside, or downright ignored by the people I call family. Why am I feeling so awful?

"Is everything alright?" I glanced at Merrin and flashed her a small smile, she didn't believe it and we both know that. "Yeah, I'm fine." I mumbled back.

Little by little, I stopped asking for any aid, I didn't want to partake in the team's conversations and refused to go on more exploring with Cal. I closed myself in my room for many days, only getting out to look for food that Cere leaves for me, I didn't want to see anyone. The Jedi knocks on the door many times a day, but I ignored it, I don't want him to see me in this horrendous state. He pleaded for me to let him in, and promised that whatever was bothering me would only stay between us, I almost opened the door for him, almost... But I stepped back, and he left.

I have no idea why I'm doing this, I just know how horrible I feel when I see them, I can't even stare into Cal's eyes without feeling like someone deserving punishment. I need this sensation to vanish completely, so I set myself ready to go out early the next day, and clear my mind if only for a moment. Of course, I'm not a stealth expert. "Where are you going at this hour, (Y/N)? And alone, you can't go--" I interrupted Cere immediately. "Please Cere, I need to walk, to breathe, to be alone and think of what's happening... I don't plan on bothering you anymore."

Cere crossed her arms after she gave out a gentle sigh, her eyes fixated on me like a worried mother. "You aren't a bother." She started, and for a brief moment, I felt the desperation in her voice. "It's been four days since I've seen your face, and I want to stop you from going... But I won't. (Y/N), when you come back, speak with Cal."

I looked down. "I'll-- I'll see what I can do..."

"Be careful out there." With that, I nodded and ran out of the Mantis.

And this is how I got myself into this mess, with the simple decision of running around alone on an unexplored planet. In a temple in which I just found out my father died many years ago, blood flowed down my cheek and arm as the Inquisitor lays dead under my body, with stab wounds created by my twin swords. If my hands weren't shaking, I would've slashed the body of the bastard several times more for the killing of my father. My pupils shrunk at the merciless thoughts and fell back, away from the inquisitor and the damned red color splattered all over his clothes. "Shit... Shit... Shit..." I whimpered without shame.

The cascade decorating the insides of the temple cleaned the blood off my swords, leaving a sense of tranquility in my chest. I refuse to see this as a victory, no matter how hard I defended myself I ended up killing someone when in the past I always knocked them unconscious. I remember when Cal praised me for my compassion with such an admirable look, my heart fluttered, and millions of butterflies invaded my stomach. I forced myself out of the flashback, cleaned most of the blood from my clothes, and made my way back to the Mantis. This time, I eliminated every Stormtrooper in sight.

I wasn't even close to the vessel when Cal and I crossed paths, he had this expression of gladness that quickly changed to shock when his eyes landed on the dead soldiers. "Are you okay?!" He immediately asked, running to me and staring at the blood which BD analyzed upon setting sight on me. "You are bleeding--"

"It's not mine." I spoke, and poor BD sounded preoccupied. Cal shut his mouth as he looked me in the eyes, which I avoided staring at for long. "What happened? You don't... You don't do this, (Y/N)." The Jedi questioned.

"A trap. It was the only way to get out." It wasn't a lie, I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten out alive if I didn't use violence. "(Y/N)..." He reached out to me but I took a step back. "Cal, please don't..." I walked away and left him behind, but he soon followed to the Mantis, not saying a word.

When I set foot onto the vessel, I was greeted by Cere with a disappointed look and Greez standing behind with interest in what I will say as an excuse. For how long was I gone?

The former Jedi's mouth opened to say something, but every sound that this space has vanished, there was only a void and my heartbeat accelerated. I killed without mercy, Cere and Greez are upset, Cal looked sorrowful beyond belief, and Merrin... The Nightsister embraced me, it took me a while to realize that, and I cried and sobbed in her robes without holding back. "It's okay..." She muttered.

"I know..." I lied.

"Yet you keep crying." I gave up on trying to lie, perhaps all I needed was to speak out, reach someone, accept someone, and trust that their care for me is real. I let out a very small giggle at Merrin's attempt to make me laugh, no wonder Cal likes her.

Hours later, following a warm bath, the chilling night kept me awake and thinking about everything that happened today, I didn't have any other option but to tell them about my father and the Inquisitor. Cal seemed tense after hearing my rambling, and if Cere hadn't stopped him he would've probably 'give 'em hell again', Merrin's words. There was a knock on the door and I let in whoever was outside, Cal walked in and quietly sat on the bed, slightly worrying me. "I'm sorry." He muttered. "I should have been there for you and I'm sorry I wasn't, I thought you wanted distance and I ended up letting you get hurt."

"This is not your fault." I sat beside him and let him continue. "It is, (Y/N)! I wasn't protecting you and I swore to myself I always would! I left you alone!" I didn't expect this from Cal, I understand every person has weaknesses and flaws but seeing him so insecure saddens me. "Cal, it was my choice to go out, we didn't know this would happen..."

"Perhaps, but if I hadn't looked away for a second you wouldn't have raised your swords. You didn't need to go through that hell, not alone, not... Not against an Inquisitor..." I furrowed my brows and took his hand into mine, entwining our fingers slowly but softly. "Thank you for being here... That's the only thing I want. I will be okay..."

"You trust me that much...?" I smiled softly at that and felt him move closer, his grip on my hand getting tighter. "Why wouldn't I, Cal?" We looked at each other and my smile disappeared when his green eyes glanced at my lips. He... D-Doesn't he... What about--?

Cal's lips shut my capacity to think, he's so gentle as he touches me, and kisses me over, and over and over again. When his breath whispers across the nape of my neck, filled with constrained want, my eyes close with a shiver. "W-Wait!" I half-shouted, and the Jedi stopped at once, he looked surprised at the state I was in, the state he put me in. "What about Merrin??"

"What?" He was astonished at my question. Cal then chuckled, the motherfucker chuckled as I was embarrassed for no reason at all, just being like this with him is enough for me to feel everything at the same time. "Now I understand why you avoided us." He said, and I looked away and whimpered when he let out a small laugh. "She-- Well, she was interested in my behavior around you... Merrin interrogates me about how I try a little too hard to make you laugh, the way I stare at you when you're not looking..." Widening my eyes at his confession, I recollect our moments together since we met. "You always want me out of danger, no matter how harmless it can be... Cal, were you the one that placed that chocolate under my pillow when I had my period?"

"I wanted you to feel better..." Cal scratched his head nervously and I felt my cheeks burning up, I placed a hand on his cheek and joined our lips together, slowly, the sensation of pleasure and desire grew. We needed friction, both of us need more, Cal and I need each other. The Jedi lays me on the bed and a hand slips lower, dipping up the underside of my nightgown, trailing his fingertips so delicately against the bare skin of my leg. It is obvious that both of us are inexperienced, but Cal explores, and a voice in the back of my head tells me he won't be going anywhere until he reaches deep inside my soul. Hot breath soothes my skin as his fingers stop close to my undergarments. "Your skin feels so tender against my fingers..." If there was ever resistance on my behalf, I let it fall, head falling back on the pillow.

Parting my legs, his hands slip the cloth away, and seeks out the burning warmth of my cunt. He stares into my eyes as his fingertip traces the soaked line of my slit, watching every reaction, hearing every whimper and moan. He's slow, afraid to hurt me but unable to stop. I mewl when I notice his bulge, how ready and eager he must be for me, and only me. "C-Cal..." Then he pushes his digit deep inside, making me shiver and slightly hiss in discomfort. "I'm here, I won't hurt you... Please (Y/N), bear with me..." My Jedi is so sweet to me.

Cal continues experimenting with my body as he pleases, up to the point of sliding three fingers inside me, my bottom lip wobbled, tears stinging my eyes as he worked his fingers against my walls. He poked something inside that made me feel like I was gonna die. He was a little too excited, and a small cry had him by surprise, looking at me in concern and mouth parting to apologize, I hid my mouth in my hands. "D-Don't stop...!" A breath of relief left the Jedi as he gently reached up to move my hands from my face, kissing me passionately. "As you wish, my princess."

Cal was already working his fingers again, faster this time, my juices were coating him, wet and slightly sticky as he paced himself. My eyes closed as he worked his momentum back up, short and ragged breaths falling off my lips. A whimper escaped me as his fingertips brushed up against that sensitive spot he touched earlier, my hands tightly wrapping around the sheets of the mattress. I was close, squeezing him tightly as he stared down at me.

My eyes widened and I let out a rather loud moan as I felt pressure on my clit, but his free hand is holding me in place by the waist, I can't believe he was using the force on me. "I knew you'd like that." Fuck, Cal!

The power the force is putting on me felt unnatural, and my breath wavered as I groaned out his name. "You're beautiful, (Y/N)..."

He coaxed me into a high that left me shaking, breathless, and tightly clamping down around his digits. The soft noises I was making filled the room for as long as the orgasm lingered, and he withdrew his hand, a small noise of protest leaving me. "Did you like it...?" I nodded and pushed him down to meet my lips. Cal's kisses are full of passion, not once taking his hands off me even if his life depended on it, unfortunately, we had to let breathe. He stood between my legs staring at the entirety of me, and as I glance up at Cal between tears of pleasure, I see him full flushed to his ears, his gorgeous, red hair disheveled, and his bulge leaking precum through his pants.

I chuckled heartily. "Let's take care of you, Cal."

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Battle Of The Knights Alt Ending 3: And The Winner Is Marc

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: technically none still but Jake is a bit volatile here

Genre: fluff, what else would it be

Summary: "So let me get this straight, you all like me, so you each want to take me on a date and let me decide what to do after?" You can't believe the words you're hearing even as you repeat them back.

What happens when the relationships you've built with Marc and his two alters are turned on their heads by a proposition that is anything but simple? How can they expect you to risk blowing up the carefully crafted dynamic you've worked so hard to create? And why do you agree to such an insane suggestion?

***

You didn't really need to ask for three weeks to consider things. You knew the moment Marc left your apartment who you were going to choose. Hell, you might've known before this whole thing started honestly. It's why you had them go in the order you did. You've always cared for Marc in a way you didn't want to admit even to yourself, but everyone deserved a fair shot. You didn't want your less than simple feelings for Marc to win out by default. You love Jake and Steven and genuinely believed one of them could sweep you off your feet unexpectedly, but not if Marc went first. Even with your efforts, even though you enjoyed your dates with all of them, Marc wormed his way into your heart long before Steven and Jake could, there was no question about that. Still, you waited over a week to message them. Even if your decision was made before you'd even fallen asleep that day, you didn't want them to think you were rushing the choice. You weren't, you'd been thinking about it since this all started, pros and cons lists for each date are scattered about your desk to prove just that.

Hey guys, I've made a decision.

You send the text before you can talk yourself out of it.

Great! I'm at work right now, but if you'd like to swing by this evening we can discuss it! I get off at 5 :) -Steven

Going to their place means you're not in neutral territory which on one hand puts you at a slight disadvantage despite being pretty familiar with their place but on the other hand, they'll be more comfortable which is good since they're at your mercy in this conversation.

Sounds good! I can come over around 6?

You shouldn't prolong this. You've already sat on your choice for like 8 days.

That works! See you then! -Steven

You glance at the clock on your wall, it's only after 3 now. You've got a couple of hours before you have to head over there during which you actually manage to get some things done before you head over there just before 6. When you knock on their apartment door it's about ten past and the door swings open after a couple of moments.

"Y/n! Hi! You're here!" Steven breathes out.

"Hi Steven, good to see you." You smile.

"Good to see you too! Glad you came by." Steven gestures for you to enter the apartment.

"Of course, how was work by the way?" You ask following him in.

"Oh it was fine. My boss is awful but, that's certainly not new." He shrugs.

"You know Steven I really think someone should say something to that woman she's horrendous to you and I don't like-"

"No! No. I know she's like the worst but I just want to keep my head down and do my job. No antagonizing her, low profile, you know the deal." Steven cuts off the vaguely threatening thing he knows you're about to say.

"Fine. If you insist. Still- she should get a taste of her own medicine." You roll your eyes.

"Maybe one day." He chuckles.

"If there's any justice in this world." You smirk taking a seat on the couch.

"If so. Can I get you anything by the way? Something to drink or perhaps a snack? I can make something quickly if you're hungry." Steven walks over to his kitchen as he makes the offer.

"I'm alright Steven thank you, darling- but is um- Marc around? Or I guess rather, is he like prepared to have this conversation?" You ask.

"You want to talk to Marc?" Steven whirls around to look at you.

"I think it would be easiest to start by speaking to him yes, if he's in the place to have this discussion." You nod.

"Of course! Just hang on a second." Steven says. You watch from the couch as you notice the switch between Steven and Marc. It's subtle but after seeing it so many times and being so familiar with them as individuals it's easy to know that it's Marc when their eyes pop open again.

"You called?" A small grin appears as Marc greets you.

"I did. Hi Marc." You say as he plops down onto the couch beside you.

"So you've made a decision. Rip off the band-aid." Marc says.

"Don't make it sound so dreadful Marc." You laugh.

"The dreadful part was the waiting." He snorts.

"Well now I wanna make this more dramatic since you're gonna be like that." You poke him.

"I feel like you're stalling now and like if you're not ready to-"

"I'm picking you." You cut him off. You would lose your nerve if you let him go on whatever rant about you stalling he was thinking of.

"What?" He frowns.

"You wanted the band-aid ripped off. I'm picking you." You say.

"Oh-" Marc blinks at you. "I'll admit I'm kind of surprised."

"Why?" Now it's your turn to frown.

"Oh come on, you've always had a soft spot for Steven and I mean Jake is- Jake." Marc scoffs.

"Well- yeah I guess. I mean don't get me wrong I do care for them, a lot. Of course, I do, but- it's different with you. The way I feel for them it- it isn't the same." You say.

"We never stood a chance did we?" You didn't exactly notice the switch but the difference in their voices is obvious.

"Jake?" You're surprised he's here so suddenly.

"You were always going to choose Marc. Makes sense I mean you have known him the longest but-"

"You have to go." Marc's voice cuts off whatever Jake was going to say.

"Wait- what?" You shake your head.

"It's not that I want you to go. They're upset and clearly, we need to have a little system chat."

"Don't be too hard on them, okay? Rejection isn't easy for anyone hm? As long as they aren't hurting anyone allow them to process their feelings in whatever ways work best for them." You warn Marc.

"Sure sure, I'll call you, okay babe?"

"Babe?" You quirk an eyebrow up at him.

"Oh, I guess I didn't ask- does this make us an item? Am I your boyfriend?"

"Would you like to be?" You ask.

"Of course." He nods.

"Then yes. You are."

"Cool. So- I'll call you later babe."

"Sounds good." You nod. You pause for a moment, should you kiss him? You want to but it's probably not a good idea with Jake as upset as he seems. You turn to leave but Marc grabs your wrist before you can get far.

"What was that look?" He asks as he pulls you back towards him.

"Nothing I just- I was debating on if I was going to kiss you, but given the... internal conflict now doesn't seem like a good time for that." You say.

"You're probably right." Marc huffs out his annoyance.

"I'll make it up to you. Good luck and try to enjoy your evening."

"You too." Marc says. With that, you leave Marc to whatever discussion he's going to have with Jake and Steven- here's hoping your choice doesn't backfire.

***

Taglist: @queerponcho @avengersinitiative2012 @stressed-cherry

[thschei]

I didn't post about it at the time bc I was in Such horrendous pain from periods and migraines

(TLDR the birth control I was on had switched manufacturers and it turned my mental health into the dictionary definition of "female hysteria", so to avoid checking myself into a psych ward I stopped taking it, and the au naturale amount of pain my uterus inflicted on me was So, So Much. At one point the sound of my own whimpering woke me up and I realized I'd been sobbing in my sleep, and my mom basically insisted that I take one of her painkillers. I didn't want to, as addiction runs in the family, and I had hallucinations, but I did get a couple hours of peace. My original intent making an appointment with my gyno was to just ask for a different pill, but at the appointment I was running on 2 hours of sleep and hedged my luck by asking for a hysterectomy, after having mostly given up after being told "no, I would not give you a hysterectomy unless you were in your 40's and already had kids" by every doctor I'd previously asked)

that I was living like a zombie, struggling to sleep and needing to use 2 heating pads for hours at a time, and could barely be on social media at all. But when my gynecologist agreed to give me ✨the long sought after hysterectomy✨ he apologized profusely and said that he couldn't do it laparoscopically (I assume he, being in his 60's or 70's and born and raised in this horrible little one-horse farm town, wasn't trained to use the machinery?) and that normally he would offer to refer me to a different doctor who Could do it laparoscopically, but he really didn't think any other gynecologist would agree to perform a hysterectomy on a 23 yr old. He said he'd try to make the incision scar as small as possible and below my bikini line, because he knew that a lot of patients became self-conscious of their scars.

My mom's reaction was like, the Miette copypasta. "You're going to CUT OPEN my BABY with COLD STEEL and LEAVE A SCAR?!"

(My mom is deathly afraid of surgery; it wasn't entirely her overprotectiveness that contributed to this reaction. She even really really loved this doctor because she used to work in the building across from his office, and they'd chat in the parking lot, so she'd spent years telling me I should try him. I was sitting there like, why are you getting cold feet about this now? 😭)

My reaction, though, was to say, "Oh, no no, I would love a scar! It'll be a reminder that I overcame all those years of pain that my body put me through! That's perfectly fine with me :) <3" . I Wanted to ask him to make the incision as big as it reasonably needed to be and on my stomach instead of my bikini line (so I could show it off to people . obvi . ), but I was already asking him to sterilize a 23 yr old, and I was pretty afraid that if I said too many weird things, that he might walk back his decision or decide I needed a psych eval before the surgery. I wanted that mf out of my body since I was 10, I didn't want to postpone the surgery or jeopardize my chances of this happening, so I was Trying to be Chill. Not an easy thing for me, you understand.

My mom was like, you can get a tattoo of a scar! You don't need actual abdominal surgery to achieve it!"

I was like yes I do <3 and signed the consent paperwork, had the necessary ultrasound and bloodwork and covid test to be cleared for surgery. And my scar has unfortunately faded a lot over the last 3 years, bc my doctor did keep his word of making the incision small (which was very very thoughtful of him, just like not what my bonked brain wanted) but it's still a little red in the center and the skin still feels raised across the line.

My main point in posting all this is that with top/bottom surgery, the scars are basically non-negotiable, compared to a hysterectomy having the option of being done through laparoscopy. I don't really think I want top or bottom surgery personally, but I like to think that all of us who get any type of gender-affirming surgery (which my hysterectomy partially was; it eliminated so much dysphoria. The pain was just the top reason I wanted it, and allowed me to avoid coming out as trans in my very conservative state/conservative small town within this terrible state) feel our surgery scars and feel happy and at peace from them <3 Love and peace on planet earth, etc.

(I did do a write up on my surgery a few days after I got out of the hospital that you could read if you want, but it's pretty TMI, like discussing catheters, bc I mainly wrote it for close friends who'd been worrying about me in the 4 days I wasn't really online from the pain, so read at your own risk. You can also see my face in it. I updated it a bit now to fix some pain-induced typos from 2021.)

[insomniziam]

In response to the post re: a 1D reunion, I agree that it was a toxic situation to be in. However, that doesn't mean that if you are able to identify and eradicate those things that made the situation toxic that you then can't reassess the situation and make a decision. The toxicity was not amongst the lads themselves. Rather, the toxicity emanated from label/mgmt. and the fanbase. Namely, how they were managed and how label/mgmt. subjected them to a horrendously suppressive contact. Which contractually obligated them to be put in situations that they had absolutely no control over. The various narratives that were created were meant to present them to the general public not in a way that was beneficial to them, but rather meant to generate maximum profit for label/mgmt. Likewise, these narratives were meant to cause the fanbase to fracture and turn against each other. Liam has been expressing the possibility of a reunion almost since the "hiatus" began. This in large part, meant to counter the narrative pushed by label/mgmt. that there was friction, hostility, jealousy within 1D. Which was why they were on "hiatus". Label/mgmt. employed this narrative as a way to manipulate the fanbase and cause it to fracture by choosing sides. Label/mgmt. wanted to create the illusion that 1D was through with one another and reuniting under new label/mgmt. was remote at best. The reality is that the reason for the "hiatus" was that all of the members of 1D decided collectively not to renew their contract. They turned their backs on label/mgmt. not each other.

Once the contract expires, I have no doubt all will have highly successful solo careers. If by chance one of them, while on another world tour should welcome four other lads to the stage for an impromptu jam session and a label executive should happen to be there and have a contract for them to sign, I for one, would not get up and walk away. Why do I think they are still under an original contract? Well, no public interaction amongst the principals of the main contention between label/mgmt. and 1D. Namely, no public interaction between Harry and Louis, and also Liam and Zayn. I mean seriously, do you think it's by free will? Both pairs? No, by contract. The four lads employed teddy bears, altered song lyrics, actual tattoos on their bodies, and hints of their relationships in songs they wrote to counter this narrative. Additionally, three of the four are said to be fathers. Coincidence? No, contract. They remain fathers, hence contract still in full force and effect. However, there is movement, Louis and Liam in public is a shift. Louis on tour is a shift. His documentary as well, is a shift. Seem the suggestion of a thirteen-year mgmt. contract could be accurate. The next six month could be very interesting.

I don't understand why you'd send me this on three separate occassions as if my initial response is going to change.

I don't like how 1D treated him, both the management and the fans.

Liam has talked on multiple different occasions how he felt trapped, how he didn't have the freedom other boys his age did which led to him developing a drinking habit. He was severely overworked, which only added to his alcohol and possible substance abuse. He doesn't need to return to that toxic environment.

And the fans weren't any better. Many of them didn't give a shit about his solo ventures and only dropped into his lives to constantly ask him questions about the other members or when the band is getting back together. They used the fact that he was a people pleaser to get the 1D content they were depraved of. And then the second they could, they would shit on him when it was convenient to do so, taking his words and changing them to fit their agenda

I honestly hope 1D doesn't come back, and if they do, Liam turns them down. God knows he was a major reason as to why that band was successful, and neither his management team or the so called fans deserve him.

[liverobinreaction]

fic title thing!!!-

Hey there demons! It's me, ya boi

I keep my closet free of skeletons (i am good at digging graves)

Hate to be that guy, but-

Not all love is good my dear

Does devil get nightmares of all of their victims as well?

Tim, and Cass, and Steph and a highway to hell

Hehehehe thank you! Here's 'i keep my closet free of skeletons (i am good at digging graves)' bc that title broke down my door and throttled me until i wrote something

TW: subconscious suicide attempt

Tim stares at the gun in his hand.

How long has he been sitting here? How long has he had it with him? He doesn’t know.

There's a strange, uncomfortable void in his chest that feels heavy, and every breath is a chore.

He absentmindedly flips the gun, fingers stroking down the barrel like it’s a beloved blanket. It’s almost jarring, how easy it would be. Flick the safety off, aim towards his brainstem, and squeeze the trigger. The cleanup would be horrendous, but what does a dead man have to care about brain matter and blood splatter? Stock prices would also tank if it came out that the CEO of WE shot himself in his luxury penthouse, and that, more than anything makes him pause. He wonders if his father had hesitated like this all those years ago, weighing up the odds and deciding that the Drake reputation was too important.

Wonders if like his father, he’ll make the same decision and put the gun back down, hidden in a closet and forgotten.

He should do the same.

Except he’s never been good at following the path his parents’ preferred him to walk on.

Frankly, the idea of putting it back and forgetting all about this makes something soft and tender inside him recoil.

He tries to think. Tries to convince himself that this is ridiculous, that it’s a one off, that he won’t try to do this again.

Tim is an excellent liar, but this is one lie that refuses to sit right. It makes him pause, fingers trembling against the handle, as he realises with startling bluntness that his promise to not kill himself is... a lie. And suddenly, Tim is quite certain that if he doesn’t get some sort of help, then he’s unlikely to be alive for much longer. It’s a jarring thought, given that he so very desperately doesn’t want any help; that his stupid brain wants to continue down this path until he finally stumbles across some sort of relief.

With too much effort, he forces himself to turn the safety back on. To let go of the gun and leave it in the bathtub. To get out of the bathroom and grab his phone. He studiously ignores the note left on his desk.

According to the time on his phone, Tim’s been in there for three hours, and apparently excused himself from work today with the excuse of a sudden illness. Tam has sent him numerous angry emails. Lucius has also reached out, his message professional, but notably irritated. Tim understands; he’s irritated too. Or is he? He isn’t sure.

Ultimately though, he ignores the emails, and instead calls a number he was given when Bruce was believed to be dead and Tim was believed to be insane.

“Dinah Lance speaking,” Black Canary’s voice rings out, clear and focused. Tim clears his throat. Hesitates.

He really, really, really doesn’t want to do this. But he thinks of a gun hidden in a closet, letters tucked away and forgotten until he stumbled across them. And he forces himself to speak.

“Hey Dinah, it’s Tim.”

[trumpetnista]

I had a breakdown at the gym today.

My day started out in the usual way: waking up, taking my meds, turning on my usual YouTube morning video from Pangeapanga (S-Tier Mario Maker player) to listen to while getting ready to go about my Friday business. Fridays typically involve me going to the chiropractor, to the gym, and then to my favorite Japanese place for dinner before going home. It used to be grocery shopping day but I moved it to Saturday. That’s beside the point. 

Anyway, I came out of my room to listen to mom get ready to go sit with dad at the nursing home. Mom was demanding (not asking, goddammit...) my siblings and I to help put together meals for dad to eat, which he legitimately needs. The nursing home food is horrendous and dad has refused to eat most of it. It’s understandable but due to that, he has dropped an alarming amount of weight in a short period of time. At 6′2, he is currently 205 pounds. His legs look like sticks, his hands are cramped to the point of atrophy, his ribcage is visible, and there’s so much loose skin. He’s been bedbound since March. His skin hasn’t seen direct sunlight in months and you can feel the despair radiating from him, even when he musters up enough energy to speak with optimism and smile. 

He’s in a safe place with competent people looking after him now but looking at him hurts. Knowing that he’s at the nursing home hurts. Knowing that he’ll likely never be able to come home hurts. Seeing him essentially helpless hurts. He’s always been there, always been a pillar but he’s come apart at the seams. He’s trapped in his own body that turned against him all at once. People who were supposed to look after him didn’t and injured him severely. I feel angry because I can’t help him like he needs. I feel helpless, just like I did when Sara was sick and wasting away before my very eyes. I’m scared. I’m terrified of him succumbing to despair and he’ll slip away from us far too early.

The whole situation is heartbreaking.

It’s also karma. 

Like I mentioned last time, my father is a narcissist and that leaked into his parenting. When I was young, he crossed the line from discipline to physical abuse on several occaisions. My mother was like that too and she was the go-to for “discipline” but when I did something really bad (in reality or in their eyes) the worst came from him. I honestly preferred it when he hit me instead of scolding me. When he was scolding me, he would talk to me like I was the most incompetent, insignificant piece of shit on the planet until I couldn’t do anything but cry. Then, he would get mad at me for crying. Looking back, I was in physical pain from fibromyalgia and I was in Mania, effecting my decision making but I didn’t know that at the time. All I knew was that I kept embarassing the family in public. All I knew was that I was far too sensitive. All I knew was that I was lazy and whining. All I knew was that I wasn’t thinking and was honestly afraid to think, which was not true. All I knew was that my best wasn’t good enough and “I don’t know” was not an acceptable answer, even when I truly didn’t know why I did or didn’t do something.

All I knew was that my dad hated me or at least that was the conclusion my young brain drew and my mother followed his lead as usual while taking the opportunity to take her pain out on me. Later on, I figured out that he didn’t hate me but the damage was done, both physically and mentally. I have a scar near my eye from one of the times he hit me and one day when I was about to go into Walgreens, he asked where it came from. Looking him dead in the eye (a rarity for me. I had and still have problems maintaining eye contact with people...), I coldly replied “You did it” before walking into the store. After that day, the dynamic changed between us. I never got an apology from him but going forward, he treated me in a way that told me that he wanted to make up for things but again, the damage was done. I no longer trusted him, even when I said I did. As time passed and the family grew, I took on the role of proper disciplinarian to the kids and I came up with the facade of the dutiful daughter, the one always willing to make sacrifices, the one who followed the rules, and both parents showed me conditional love and acceptance in return, which was far better than how they treated me in the past. I decided to be the bigger person like I was taught to and moved forward.

However, in the back of my mind, I ached for my father to experience the pain and anguish that he put me and later my younger siblings, especially Valerie through. I always believed that what you put out, you get back and I wanted him to get back what he put out. I wanted him to get what he deserved. I wanted karma to come to him and collect with interest. Now, it has.

And I love it.

I also hate it.

The conflicting feelings I have for him and my mother has added onto the usual stress I feel, the usual anxiety. This morning, all of the feelings were there but stronger than it has been since my hospitalization and diagnosis. The worry, the vindication, the guilt attached to said vindication...I decided to go forward with my routine. Besides, I really just wanted to get away from my mother, who through my asserting my boundaries and encouraging Nina to do so in the moment, was actually in the kitchen cooking instead of making Nina or Kimberly do it. I whispered to Nina “let her do something for once” and I could feel the surprise radiating from her. As angry as I am at my mother, I typically try to be diplomatic with my siblings regarding her but this morning, I didn’t have the energy to. 

I went to the chiropractor, still trying my best to fight through the feelings while using physical therapy to prepare my left wrist for the surgery I’m getting for it on the 16th (I have kienbock’s disease and they have to remove the dead lunate bone present) and convincing myself to go work out, despite feeling bone tired. Eventually, I got to the gym and I was going through my routine when the feelings engulfed me. It felt like someone had splashed a bucket of water on me and I could feel tears welling fast. I texted my big sister/best friend, explaining how I was feeling and by the time the text went through, I was crying on the crunch machine.

I made it to the locker room without making a scene, cutting my machine work short, and I started crying harder. The sadness I felt was so deep, so sudden that I thought that I was having a downswing in my Bipolar Disorder. I was diagnosed with Bipolar with Mania but the Bipolar 2 Sadness could come, my diagnosing doctor advised me. I thought it had arrived and it propelled me into a sobbing panic attack. As good as it was for me to be hospitalized, I have a deep fear of having to go back to a mental ward, not because the one I was at was a bad one but because of how utterly alone I felt in there. 

I was cut off from my family for the first time. I was all alone for the first time in my life and it terrified me despite knowing that I was where I needed to be. That terror came back because despite not feeling like I was a danger to myself or others, I was starting to feel out of control like I did during my psychotic break.

I called Diane and left her a voicemail, crying but still trying my best not to worry her. After that, I still felt bad so I kept following my crisis plan. My mental health doctor and counselor are based at Easterseals so I called. The woman at the intake desk was a genuine angel. I could barely talk through my tears but she spoke to me with empathy and was determined to get help for me. She gave me the number to the crisis line and although I got the voicemail, reaching out helped the panic attack recede. I was able to compose myself. I was able to do a shortened version my cardio routine and I heard back from Diane during. She assured me that my feelings weren’t invalid because she had a breakdown of her own for the same reasons a couple of days ago. She assured me that it likely wasn’t a downswing with my Bipolar disorder and that my conflicted feelings towards our parents, towards our father were natural.

I still struggle with feeling angry at them because for the longest time, I equated being angry at them with being a bad daughter and person. That’s not true. It’s not true at all but working through years of thinking otherwise takes time.

While I was at dinner, I heard back from the crisis line. I didn’t talk to my counselor but I talked to someone who was so easy to open up to. I explained so much about what was ailing me and he assured me that I did the right things today. I did the exact right things to do when in crisis. As I talked more, he assured me that the deprogramming journey that I’ve going on since leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses has been beneficial. He assured me that the steps I’ve been taking to break the cycle of trauma that started with my parents have been the correct ones. A completely neutral party validated me over and over again and it felt amazing. I also let Valerie know what happened and she immediately backed me up. She said she understood and that she was proud of me, making me cry good tears. As I mentioned, Valerie ended up taking my place as the black sheep of the family in our parents' eyes but she still has a heart of gold. The loyalty she shows is amazing and I'm grateful for her. The confidence boost I felt from the conversation with the neutral counselor gave me the bravery to strike up a lively conversation about tattoos with a fellow bus rider and the strength to make it home to my safe space AKA my room. I had a second dinner of sausage and peppers pasta before settling in for the night.

Today was an awful mental health day, a truly awful mental health day.

But, you know what?

I didn’t go back into my old bad habits. 

I didn’t isolate myself nor did I ignore my feelings.

I reached out for help and I received the support I needed.

I’m on the right track.

I am on the right track and it feels so good.