#i’m jk i didn’t take enough to kill me

[waste-0f-spacee]

just chugged cough syrup the way adam sandler does in Click

[yuff7e]

Hi angel I love your layout!! Your blog is so cutesy :D Can I rq Sanemi bf headcanons? :-)

⋆.ೃ sanemi bf headcanons !! ࿔*:･ sfw / fluff / headcanons

gender neutral

hi anon !! i love sanemi, he’s the cutest !! and thank you, also the angel nickname has me twirling with cuteness :3 ur the angel for requesting !! enjoy <3

the cuties song -> www.spotify.com

- pure definition of “i hate everyone but you”

- like actually

- buddy doesn’t like no one besides his brother and you atp

- he’s over here cuddling you when no one’s looking and then slashing demons heads off w 0 remorse the next second

- honestly a pretty good sweet talker i would think

- he knows what to say to you to sweep you off your feet, he just doesn’t do it often

- in the right setting he will, but then he gets a little flustered with the affection you give him afterwards

- he likes taking the lead in anything, no matter what it is

- if you want to eat something new he’ll take a bite first “just in case”

- has extreme trust issues, so when you came around it took him a while to actually warm up to you

- so it took him an even longer time actually beginning to like you

- and then it took him LONGER to start dating you

- but he’s def worth the wait, you have a personal bodyguard for LIFE.

- i would think he’s extremely loyal, since he already doesn’t trust anyone and seeing how he’s trusted you enough to start dating you - id think he thinks you’re the one type-thing

- like, he picked you and wants a future with you

- you’re not just some partner that he’s dating “just cause”

- like no he saw visions of yalls future kids FLASH BEFORE HIS EYES BRO.

- he saw visions.

- jk lol

- maybe.

- he’s crazy so maybe yeah, he did see visions…..

- he’s not the biggest fan of physical touch, but really likes acts of service and words of affirmation

- if you go and do something for him he’s on his knees for you (promise not in a weird way, unless you want it to be lol)

- or if you praise him he gets a little flustered and turns his head away from you to hide the faint blush on his cheeks

- “hey, stop that.”

- “sorry!! you’re just so cool baby, i could talk about you forever.”

- “[name]!!”

- honestly, i definitely see him being pretty overprotective

- especially with what you wear and what you do

- not in a abusive way, but hey, we’re talking about feral sanemi here

- like, if you’re a female and one of the hashiras and they give you an outfit like mitsuris - he’s immediately turning that down

- unless you didn’t date until after and you were wearing that, he’d make you change

- “you don’t need the other boys over here staring at you, just me.”

- or if you were a guy and saw you helping another girl he’d be giving HEAAVYYY side eye

- like hello sir it’s fine

- or if you had a reputation to be flirtatious with the girls/guys there before you two had started dating, and still decided to date you after that you have another thing coming

- the night he confessed to you he was like “and if i see you talking with any girls/guys, it won’t end well.”

- bros like misa where she’s like “if i see you with another girl, ill kill her.”

- like OKAAYY buddy calm down it’s never that serious

- he feigns over you too, like crazy

- again, not in a weird way (unless you want it to be)

- i mean yeah it can be weird you’re adults, but like he always wants to be by you and if he’s away from you for a hot minute he’s (mysteriously) rushing back to wherever you’re at

- he needs his aura to 1000+ or he won’t be happy

- he’s lovable, and he loves you

i’m so tired, i’ve written 5 fics today and i’m worn out !! i’ll get to everyone’s tomorrow, goodnight loves <3

REQUESTS : OPEN

[aajjks]

Destroyer (m)

Synopsis: you better start to love him before he destroys you and himself.

warnings: yándèrè, kïdnáppèd rèádèr, dárk contènt, câptívè rèádèr, obsèssíón, ünhëälthy bêhávïöür, dárk côntènt, ünstáble jk.

note: just a small little something, shouto’s ver. SHARE FEEDBACK AND TALK TO HIM. ENJOYYYY!!!!

“Jungkook… I hate you so much, I can’t even begin to describe how much I fucking despise your guts!” You scream at the top of your lungs, but your voice only comes back to you with the sound of echoing in the basement, Jungkook watched you with his calculated gaze. His lips were pressed in a thin straight line, you stared back at him with hatred filled eyes. A flash of longing and disappointment shined in his brown coloured eyes, but only for a second.

“Fuck you! Fuck you! I hate you!” You spat again, anger was coursing through your veins. He didn’t care, did he? Your skin was itching with irritation, it didn’t bug him. He was really insufferable. But you wanted to hurt him, in the worst ways possible.

But, To your disappointment, He only looked down.

“I know.” After what felt like an hour, he finally replied. Your eyebrows farrowed, what did he mean? “What?!?” You were now, genuinely confused. His tone was void of any emotion. It was cold, just like him. “I know, y/n.” He looked up from the concrete floor to you. His feet were starting to walk ahead in your direction, where you were held captive by the steel chains. “You never fail to express it. I-I know..” His eyes were glossy, his lips upturned, almost in a pout. If you didn’t know the real him, his tone would’ve made your heart shake.

But you knew damn well than to pity a monster like him.

“Oh that’s good! Kook, then… tell me..” you gave him a faux smile in return, taking in a deep breath. “Why don’t you fucking let me go?”

Your eyes never left his face. He was now close than ever, your faces were only inches apart, he could grab your face easily in his hands. You hated the way he looked at you, like you were his world. “Because I can’t. I can’t let you go, y/n.” His eyes were swimming in obsession, “I love you- AND I FUCKING HATE YOU!?!” It was infuriating.

This was starting to get frustrating, more than before. It had been months. Months without any human contact expect him, who claimed to be your lover. You only saw his face.

“I don’t care. I never cared. I love you and I only care about that. I don’t care if you hate or want to fucking kill me. I can even die for you.” Jungkook only dismissed your confession. His eyes had been covered with a dark shadow, his jaw was clenched, his tone was deadly. “Don’t you get it, sweetheart? I love you.” He chuckled at your disgusted expression.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to love me. My love for you is enough for both of us. I love you so fucking much, ever since I saw you, I have loved you ever since.” He whispered in a low husky tone.

He seemed to have completely change in a span of fifty seconds. It was scary. “I love you so much, like a fucking madman. I’m starting to go insane.” He gritted his teeth. His intense gaze sent shivers down your spine, his eyes were filled with craze, passion. “You’ll learn to love me, baby. Yes, you have to. You have to love me.” His fingers grabbed your face, gently but tightly. You only stared back in horror. His tone was dripping with craziness.

“You have to love me, sweetheart because now, my patience in running thin. I was never really a patient person y’know? But I have waited so fuckin’ long for you to finally become mine. Only mine,

So love me now, before I fuckin lose it and destroy both you and myself.”

[onlyswan]

summary: in which a shameless ex-lover makes your bad day worse and jungkook can’t help but to go wherever you are.

> fluff, dashes of angst / wc: 4k

> warnings: mention of blood bc oc gets scratched :( + is ready to throw hands at jk’s ex and then cries lol, taehyung cameo and mentions of yeontan :P + a line of jk reminds me of the orpheus drabble <3

note: last one for a while as i take a rest from writing and process jimin’s album <3 reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! it goes a long way :]

—

“jungkook, you’ve been in there for an hour! answer your phone!”

you click your tongue in annoyance, bouncing your thighs up and down as you fiddle with the controller and collect your kills with reckless tenacity. the ringing of the third phone call he’s receiving in the past ten minutes is overpowering the volume of the game, which you turned all the way down just enough so that you can faintly yet clearly hear it. well, right now, you can’t anymore. again.

“baby, you’re home?!” jungkook yells in surprise, and you spare him a glance.

half of his naked torso is peeking out of the bathroom door, and he looks like a maltese puppy who heedlessly jumped into a swimming pool, hair still dripping wet and pure excitement painted all over his face.

“who’s calling anyway? you can answer it for me!“

“can’t. i’m playing call of duty.”

“you’re what?!” he exclaims, but his voice enters your ear then escapes from the other as you remain deeply absorbed in the game. he disappears for a minute before emerging from the bathroom, half-naked with a striped white and khaki towel wrapped around his waist down to his knees.

you’re situated on the floor with your back leaning on the couch. he stands beside you with his hands on his waist, watching the television screen in sheer curiosity, which then morphs into astonishment. “wow, you’re actually playing it… i haven’t seen you touch your controller in months. but why are you sudden- yah! what is this? how are you doing so good?!”

the phone lying on the center table lights up once more. the incessant noise is seriously getting into your nerves and you’ve had enough of it, gritting your teeth as you snap. “i’m begging you. answer it. or i might break something.”

the irritation embedded in your voice makes him jut out his bottom lip sadly. more than that, your facial expression and body language evidently scream that you’re feeling on edge. you didn’t even bother to let him know that you’ve come home, and he’s uncertain if you nearly muted the volume because you don’t want to listen to the ear-shattering sounds of ammunition being fired or you don’t want him to hear them.

he picks up the phone per your request, eyebrows knitting in confusion when he fails to recognize the number flashing on the screen.

“it’s an unregistered number. i don’t know who- oopsie-” he scrunches his nose, chuckling because he accidentally ended the call when he muted the device. it vibrates with a new message from the same person not too long after.

“it’s my ex?” he blinks with a blank expression on his face. he intently reads the content of the text, tugging at the silver ring piercing the corner of his lower lip. “uhhh- she’s… asking me to put in a good word for her… because she applied to be an in-house choreographer at- at the company.”

on the other hand, you feel like a bucket of ice water was dunked over your head at the mention of your boyfriend’s ex-lover. your vigorous focus on the game wavers, but luckily, you’re already so close to finishing, and you still maintain half a mind to end the game in your own terms. the word ‘victory’ flashes on the giant screen, and you almost break down into tears because god knows you needed a fucking win today.

jungkook gasps in amazement, whipping out the camera app to capture a photo of your achievement. “did you just fucking win solo versus squads?”

the thing is… you’re not the biggest fan of these games. sure, you play occasionally (only using his accounts because you like how he already has most items unlocked and you can freely play around… you like to pretend that you’ve never been scolded for making him rank down before), but you prefer the relaxing types with adorable and colorful graphics. and just like he said, you haven’t touched your controller in months, which must be the reason why he’s pleasantly surprised. you won’t be shocked if you get bombarded by his gamer friends to play with them tomorrow, by the looks of your boyfriend proudly typing away at his keyboard while smiling from ear-to-ear.

“don’t move on too fast.” you breathe out a deep sigh before standing on your feet. “which ex? that bitch you broke up with because she kept on picking stupid fights with your friends? and now she wants to work with them?”

the combination of your harsh intonation and the recollection of dreadful memories make him wince. that relationship didn’t end on good terms, so this is confusing to him as well. it was a person he wholeheartedly liked, but they barely lasted six months because the way she treated those who are near and dear to him, unkind and discorteous, eventually turned him off and made him nothing but angry. she tried to convince him that she could change, but it was his decision that could no longer be changed.

does it even matter? he didn’t dwell on it too long, anyway. because then, he met you.

“yes,” he shortly answers, flipping his phone so the screen is facing you.

your brain chooses to not register any of the other characters used in the text except for those at the end: the flirty ‘Thanks babe! I miss u so much. See u around soon. Let’s catch up’ and winking emoji blowing a red heart next to it. you release yet another sigh, this time shaky and frustrated, and you gently move his hand aside to get the phone out of your sight. a headache is beginning to blossom at your temples, and you truly do not have the energy to deal with this bullshit right now.

“you must know how i feel about this, right?”

“i’m not sure-”

“like if she calls you ‘babe’ infront of my face i won’t hold back and i will claw her eyes ou-“

“okay, okay, baby, i got it!” he chuckles, taking a hold of your arms to pull you closer to him. he plants a sweet kiss to your lips, hoping that would aid in putting your mind at ease. “i won’t let her call me that again, hmm? or do anything that will make either of us uncomfortable for that matter.”

“good. i trust you. do whatever you want.” you speak softly, giving his rosy cheek light pats. he always looks a dash more attractive when fresh from the shower, so entrancingly hypnotic when bare-faced that it makes you want to fall on your knees and worship the stardust making up his existence.

unfortunately, your mind is too clouded and restless and you can’t stay to admire him some more. you withdraw from his hold, the cold drops of water from his hair sliding down to your forearm and you wipe them away on his towel.

“i’m going out for a bit. i need to buy something at the convenience store.”

you don’t wait for him to answer. you head straight to the bedroom to collect your essentials.

“wait for me. i’ll go with you!”

you return wearing a long purple jacket over your blue t-shirt and white sweatpants, also carrying your phone, wallet and pepper spray.

“i’ll be fine alone. i got this.” you wave the small bottle infront of him before stuffing it in the pocket of your sweatpants.

the front door rings as it opens and shuts, and jungkook despises the weight sitting on top of his chest— heavier and heavier with your absence. he still wanted to insist on tagging along, worried because it’s already late at night, but he gave up when he sensed that you really need to be left alone.

“shit, let me take care of this first.” he tilts his head to the side, and then the other, cracking his neck before he scrolls through his contact list to make an important call.

—

the soles of your sneakers scratch the rough asphalt as you lazily drag yourself to the convenience store. you’re having one of those kind of bad days- you woke up this morning mad at the world for a reason you couldn’t decipher, and it only got worse after you left the house for work. you brushed against someone while chasing the bus and the zipper of their bag scratched your arm that it bled uncontrollably. the nearest restaurant to your workplace was closed and you had to walk an extra kilometer. you didn’t have the time to text jungkook and complain about the shitty day you’ve been having. and you had to suffer the bus ride home beside an old teacher from high school who never ran out of uninteresting stories to tell.

oh! and how can you not mention that you were subjected to remembering that your boyfriend fell in love with other people before he knew you? the mere mental image of jungkook being emotionally and physically intimate with somebody else is a strong punch in the gut that makes you want to run in a corner and hurl.

and to rub salt on the wound, his ex-girlfriend, who is more than comfortable to reach out to him with an old term of endearment, wants to work at close proximity with him after saying ‘i miss you so much’… was the ‘so much’ necessary? was saying ‘i miss you’ necessary at all? you don’t know her intentions or if she even has any, and you don’t care if they’re good or bad. you simply cannot bear the idea of having to be constantly plagued by these vexatious musings.

maybe a good cry would help, but the tears won’t come out of your stinging eyes blinded by bright and flickering neon shop signs lined up beside the street. they’re saltwater in your lungs, making it difficult for you to breathe and to make sense of why you don’t feel like yourself today. it’s hormones. it’s always the hormones, you try telling yourself.

—

you’re sitting infront of the glass wall separating the sidewalk and the convenience store, watching the humans and the cars speeding past without much thought in your head… except for the hellish torture you’re inflicting on yourself. you sniffle loudly as you chew the spicy noodles in your mouth. your tongue is tingling and almost numb, but you lift up the flimsy wooden chopsticks to eat more of it because somehow, this is exactly what you needed. perhaps, it wasn’t accidental when you ended up pouring most of the buldak sauce.

however, your own little bubble gets popped by a tattooed hand you recognize all too well. it sets down a bottle of cold water infront of your cup of noodles.

“hi there.”

jungkook kisses the top of your head before occupying the stool on your left, which is the second seat farthest from the door that chimes every time a new customer walks in. he is very much not naked anymore, wearing a plain white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. his hair is still damp, bangs forming a perfect comma on his forehead, and the thin silver chain dangling from his delicate neck sparkles when the light grazes it.

“aigoo, why are you so messy?“

the doe eyes behind his glasses smile at you warmly as he wipes your swollen lips, the paper napkin you’ve been neglecting now stained with the dark red sauce.

“you’re here?” you ask dumbly, wanting to slap yourself right after the words escape your mouth because yes, what the fuck, he’s here. he’s touching you, and he’s real.

“of course, i’m here,” his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek before he answers, sounding upset. he removes his glasses and places it on top of the long white table. “i just wore the first things i saw then speedwalked here. i was sorting out the laundry and your handkerchief had blood all over it! care to explain?”

you guiltily avoid eye-contact, reverting your attention to the food as you poke and mix the noodles that have gone dry due to the cold air. “you didn’t have to. i already cleaned the wound twice- my left arm just got scratched.” you shrug your shoulders meekly. “i had a bad day, that’s all.”

“who do i have to fight, huh? who hurt you and ruined your day?” he takes your chin between his thumb and index finger, lifting it up to make you look at him. his sincere concern is written all over his widened round eyes and creased forehead. “tell me, baby. i’ll make them pay.”

“well,” you anxiously sink your teeth on your bottom lip, a hesitant effort to control yourself because the particular word tastes too sour on your tongue. “your ex was just my last straw, you know? i don’t even want to call you ‘babe’ anymore.” your voice gradually quiets down in exasperation.

“why not?!”

you roll your eyes with a huff, pushing his hand away. “you’ll just remember her every time i say it.”

you grab the bottle of water, twisting off the cap and hissing when its ridges scratch the heel of your palm. you take big gulps of the beverage, feeling refreshed after the burning onslaught that assaulted your mouth.

“oh, come here. you- i need you closer.”

you squeak when you feel the heavy metal chair moving closer towards jungkook’s direction, one hand flying to your mouth and the other gripping his shoulder in fear of falling. he jokingly copies you when you send him a sharp glare. he puts an arm around you to affectionately hold the curve of your waist, anchoring his elbow on the table to rest his face on the palm of his hand.

“i took care of that, alright? i asked the company and they told me they put her on the waitlist. pretty sure she knows, too- that she’s not getting the job.“ he raises his perfectly shaped eyebrows in jest, playfully sticking out his tongue. “i told her i can’t help her, and not to contact me again in the future because i’m in a committed relationship. with you.” he squeezes your hip to reiterate his words. “then i blocked her number. i thought i did it before, but i guess i forgot to? ah, i don’t know!”

a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips and he happily grins when he notices, deep dimples making an appearance. unable to resist the urge, he briefly draws closer to kiss your cheek.

“besides, i forgot she even existed. why would i think of her when my favorite person is right infront of me? that’s absurd.”

he was truthfully flabbergasted at the foggy memories that resurfaced when he read her name, had one of those ‘oh, that’s right, this happened,’ and ‘why the fuck did i like this person again?’ moments.

“you’re the only one i think of when i hear the word ‘babe’. and when i hear love songs, or breakup songs, because they make me imagine us breaking up and i get so fucking sad.” his expression crumples into a look of sheepishness after spitting out the unplanned confession.

it’s terrifying at times, how an imaginary breakup with you feels more painful than his past heartbreaks combined. he almost lost you once, and he won’t let that happen again. he removes his hand on your waist to tenderly caress your hair when you bury your face in your hands.

shaking your head, you giggle at the genuine distress lacing his voice when he said the last sentence. “what are you saying?”

and then it finally happens.

restrained sobs replace the carefree giggles racking your body. your hot tears soak the palm of your hands until they drip down to your wrists. your frail voice comes out trembling, shattered, and disgustingly vulnerable for a space scattered with prying eyes and ears.

“…i just- fuck, i don’t want to say this but- i don’t think you understand- that i’m selfish. and i want you all for myself. i can’t stand that everybody wants to have you. i hate it, jungkook.”

your name rolls off from his tongue with a soft sigh as he pulls you in for a tight embrace. the comfort of his love and warmth further breaks you down, and you almost make yourself bleed to keep your cries quiet. his silken lips brush against your temple before he puckers them for a kiss that lasts four, five, six… seconds. you begin wondering if he might just stay like this forever, not that you mind, until he detaches himself to speak and you hear the smooching sound that signals the end of it.

“shhh, trust me, baby. i do.” he rubs your shoulder to soothe your tensed up body. “but i don’t care about that. they can die trying because i only want to be yours.”

you swallow the lump in your throat as his reassuring words tug at your heartstrings. you wiggle out of his secure arms, wiping your tears with the paws of your jacket as you force a smile. “it’s embarrassing. i don’t want to cry here.”

“how about in there, then?” he teasingly undoes the third button of his shirt, exposing more of his honey skin to the cool air. it reveals the rest of his silver chain, and his defined pecs are also peeking out. you whine in protest of his scandalousness, pounding his chest lightly with your closed fist.

he chuckles, corners of her crinkling with mischief as he buttons himself up again. “i’m kidding, i’m kidding-” he cradles your face in his hands, gingerly wiping away the tears still rolling down your cheeks.

between the two of you, he admits that he’s the one who cries more easily. it takes a colossal build-up of emotions for your tears to be released, and today’s influx caused your sink to overflow at long last. seeing you weep, it feels like a direct stab to the heart— especially unbearable, twisting deeper, when he’s part reason why. even so, it’s a big relief when the weight you’re carrying is being unloaded. but he understands that you don’t want to do that here… not here.

“as if you’ll let someone steal me away from you, huh? i know you, you cunning minx.”

you feign innocence, batting your eyelashes. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“that’s exactly what i’m talking about.” he smirks before planting a chaste kiss on tip of your nose. “don’t cry anymore. i love you.”

“i love you, too. but-” you sniffle, frowning at him as you motion at the cup of noodles infront of you. “why did you have to go and make me feel better? i don’t feel like finishing this anymore. it’s too spicy.”

“yeah, i can tell. look at your face. oh-” he squeezes your puffy face in one hand. “you were already crying eating that, poor baby… i’ll just finish the rest, how about that?”

“please,” you smile sweetly, delighted with his preposition. “i’ll buy ice cream. do you want anything? beer?”

“beer-” his face lights up like a christmas tree when it dawns on him that you said the word simultaneously.

you beam proudly, recounting the time you’ve been well-acquainted with every nook and cranny of jungkook’s essence of being. “did i pass the test? i’m taking my master’s degree in kookology.”

—

after jungkook finished your spicy noodles, he claimed his appetite only treated it as an appetizer and it demanded to be served ramyeon for the main course. that brings you to this moment, your boyfriend applying bandaids on your arm while he waits for his food to be cooked. concurrently, you devour your cone of vanilla ice cream.

“babe, i think two is enough.“ you attempt to stop him from opening another one of the teddy bear patterned bandaids. he found them displayed by the counter when he paid for the ramyeon, and only then did he realize that he forgot why he ran to you in the first place.

“they’re not- it goes all the way down your elbow.”

and you can’t argue with him because he looks undoubtedly pissed off, his expression instantly darkening when he saw the damage that damn zipper did to your skin. if this happened to him, he would be in a terrible mood for the rest of the day, too.

he plants a healing kiss on top of each one and your heart flutters at the loving gestures, but you feel a little ridiculous walking around with three bandaids running across your arm. you decide to wear your jacket again in order to hide them, since you’re freezing beside the airconditioner anyway.

jungkook starts eating his second round of noodles, but not before boasting that he perfectly separated the wooden chopsticks unlike you. you roll your eyes at his cocky grin and tiny dance of celebration, taking another bite of the cone you’ve consumed halfway.

the two of you comically freeze at the same time when a familiar ringtone tickles your ears.

“who would be calling at this hour? it’s 1am!” jungkook puts down his chopsticks to fish out his phone from the depths of his pocket, his thick satoori accent slipping out as he chides the person on the other line. he shakes his head with a laugh when he sees the name written on the screen. “ey, of course, it’s him again. i knew it.”

you watch him with an amused smile, his reaction giving you an inkling of who it is.

he answers the video call and props up the phone on his tall can of beer, grabbing his chopsticks to resume eating. “hyung, did you just wake up again?”

judging by the background, taehyung is in his gaming room. the given keywords being messy hair and eyes as puffy as yours, you’re pretty sure the answer to your boyfriend’s question is yes.

his deep and rough voice rumbles through the speaker. “jungkook-ah, i just caught up to our gc. where’s ___?”

“with me. why?” jungkook answers, words muffled as he chews and bounces his legs with the pleasure of having his food craving beyond satisfied.

taehyung ignores his question for the second time, instead calling out your name to catch your attention.

“whyyy?” you mimic his sulky tone, slightly shifting the phone to the side to show him your face.

you snicker when he flashes you his famous boxy smile, almost choking on your ice cream when his following remarks cause jungkook to throw a fit.

“play with me. no one else is awake and i’m getting bored of jungkook. he doesn’t want to play new games.”

“yah! you know i can still hear you, right?!” he takes a break from chugging his beer to throw his retort.

“i know, i wanted you to.” taehyung blows a raspberry at his best friend.

you grimace, stealing the opportunity to butt in before their banter lengthens. “listen, i’ll play with you if you let me play with tannie again.”

he opens his mouth to answer, but he quickly closes it again to stare at you nonchalantly. you impatiently quirk an eyebrow at his silence. “soooo?”

“wait there. i’ll think about it.”

and then he ends the call.

jungkook throws his head back, bursting into vibrant laughter after witnessing the interaction, and your head drops on the table with a pitiful whimper.

with bam staying at the training center for the meantime, you awfully miss the rush of happy chemicals flooding your brain in the company of man’s best friend. it was two weeks ago when you and jungkook hung out at taehyung’s house. you spent some time with yeontan at the park after you complained about getting bored watching them play ‘i’m on observation duty’. and he wasn’t… very happy when his dog started flat-out ignoring him in favor of your presence ever since you came back from the walk. tannie was adamant on sitting on your lap during dinnertime, even almost following you past the front door when it was time for you to leave.

“aww, my baby.” jungkook strokes your back with faux sympathy. “he hasn’t moved on from it yet. give him some time… maybe, like, five more minutes?”

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[whyse7vn]

THE OTHER WOMAN -

[ ot7 x reader ]

tan 😰

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: why did the the whole world get to see where yoongi’s tattoo was before me

jk: rumour has it that he doesn’t like you

yoongi: i do not like you

tae: it’s not good to believe all rumours jungkook

jk: ur right sorry

yoongi: i said i do not like you

tae: who are you taking to???

yoongi: nvm bye

y/n: how did you not know where the tattoo was??

tae: he didn’t tell me?

yoongi: you never asked

tae: i shouldn’t have to ask

yoongi: shut the fuck up

jimin: omg???

hobi: by newjeans?

y/n: anyways i need advice

hobi: by taemin?

jimin: WHERE?????????????????

y/n: but i need you all not to be weird about it

tae: daddy is here 4 u

namjoon: tae wtf

jin: clearly that’s asking a lot

jk: i’m a great advice giver

yoongi: you have never given advice in ur life

jimin: why would we be weird about it?

y/n: i’m going on a date

jk: WHAT

yoongi: oh?

jin: finally

jimin: congrats

tae: no ur not wtf

hobi: okayyyyyy

namjoon: nice!

jimin: stop talking like that

namjoon: who?

jimin: NiCe 🤓👍🏻

hobi: aju nice?

namjoon: i don’t see the issue

jimin: never say that shit again

jk: IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE

tae: i rebuke this devil

hobi: devil by the window by txt

jin: IT’S WITH MINGYU ISN’T IT OH MY GOD IM SO SMART THATS WHY HES BEEN AROUND SO MUCH OH MY GOD

jimin: that’s crazy jungkook isn’t he ur bff

jk: SHE NEVER SAID IT WAS WITH HIM DONT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ

tae: guys it’s time i fess up

it’s me

y/n: never lie like that again

tae: don’t tell me it’s actually that rat

y/n: rat???

jimin: it’s so him omg

hobi: aju nice fr wow

jk: SAY THIS IS A JOKE OH MG GOD PLS PLS LLS PLS PLS

y/n: it’s a joke

jk: see lol knew it lol that was so funny my goddddd loll WOW LOL UR SO FUNNY OHBMY GODDD😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

tae: mingyu kills people he’s a real bad guy trust me

y/n: maybe i’m into that

jin: omg she’s a freak guys

that’s kinda hot

hmu when ur done with him lol

yoongi: get a grip

jk: I NEED A CIGARETTE

jimin: ew

hobi: smoking kills!!!

namjoon: what did you need advice about anyways?

jk: MY ADVICE IS DONT GO

y/n: doesn’t matter

i realised that asking you guys for advice is the worst idea i’ve ever had

tae: i say you take all his money then shoot him

jimin: tae are you still broke be honest

tae: shut the fuck up???

jimin: get ur money the fuck up???

namjoon: enough

hobi: that was so elsa of you joon

enough anna I SAID ENOUGH🫸🏻❄️👩🏼‍🦰➡️🥶

yoongi: what

hobi: i think i’m depressed

y/n: i’ll kiss it better

tae: WHORE??????

HELLOOOOOO

SOMEONE TELL MINGYU THE DATE IS CANCELLED

CUT THE CAMERAS BLOCK HIS NUMBER SHOOT HIM UP

jin: ur severely troubled

jk: tbis is what heart break feljsl like….

jimin: he’s drunk already???

jk: the other womajn 💔

hobi: mingyu is a man

jk: *tjhw otjker maynne 💔

jimin: jungkook is bilingual since when??

hobi: what language was that?

y/n: jungkook are you crying???

jk: njever?????

yoongi: ur gross

tae: real men cry

and then shoot up other men called mingyu

right jungkook???

jk: iwnag to killl nyself

y/n: i won’t go

yoongi: wtf no?

y/n: you want me to go??

yoongi: that’s not what i said

jin: he’s upset that ur gonna cancel on mingyu for jungkook and not him

wow i’m just on a roll today

tae: what about me

hobi: what about you???

tae: if you want to fight just say that

i’m ready

hobi: i want you gone

tae: in what context?

hobi: life????

jimin: AWOMANNNNNNN

namjoon: guys if we were actually nice to each other everyone could actually be happy in life

tae: i wish nothing but the worst for you

hobi: that would upset adele

jimin: who????

hobi: i wish nothing but the best for youuuuuuuuuuuuuu

jimin: ???

hobi: kys

jimin: wtf

hobi: sorry the voices take over sometimes

y/n: taes schizophrenia takes another victim yet again

tae: my what?

y/n: i’m a born singer 💜💜💜

yoongi: are you really not going because of jungkook??

y/n: oh

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

jk: ple😰😭😕😢

jimin: i say go

fuck yoongi fuck jungkook and definitely fuck tae!

tae: i would NEVER sleep with you

jimin: ur actually the dumbest person i’ve met

yoongi: she’s done that already

tae: ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

jk: NONONONONINONONONONONONI

hobi: sighs when will we see peace in the gc?

y/n: you did not just type “sighs”

hobi: sighs again i did and ur gonna deal with it

y/n: you make me heave

hobi: sighs for the last time boys heave when they talk to you

i’m heaving!

jin: tf is wrong with hoseok today??

hobi: the voices

yoongi: are you avoiding my question

tae: no?

yoongi: i am not taking to you

tae: ok make that clear next time wtf

yoongi: why would i ever need to talk to you???

tae: i think yoongi’s on his period guys

namjoon: you are actually asking to get beat up tae

and i am not helping you this time

tae: literally came out the womb swinging try me bitch

jk: i’m sjookso sad i can’t take thjids sigk lifeanymore

jimin: me when i’m illiterate and ugly

jk: i’m not ugly

jimin: so now you can spell?

jin: you must be ugly cuz how tf the girl you been chasing ur whole life going on a date with your best friend she’s known for like a few months 💀💀

y/n: i’ve known mingyu for way more than a few months what the hell

jk: OH MY GEJDOEENEJEJJEJE

GOADFAFDDDFFGAGAGAHSAHAJSJSHSSJSJZJSJSJSSJXHSJZJZHahjsshyshzgzhzhzhzhzhzzhHhaHzhzhzhzhzhBHbahababahzhshzhshshshshshshsgzhshshshshshshshshzzhshhzhhsh!/.£))/)/)/)>\>\>\\>\>>)/)/)6/)-71£-/).)/)/))/)/£..£

namjoon: he’ll get over it

jk: KILL MESHSJJSJSJSJSJSDJJSJEJEJEJDJJDJDJDJCNNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN/£:£:££:!:!;£;!;£:£;£;!;!;!;£;!;£;£,!,’xnznn-&2&2873&:&:&2&:&&2&:&&:/&£2&2&2&/&/£:£:£:!.!!,!!,!,!!!!!!!!!najsjsjsjsjjsjdjdjdjjdjjj&&.£££.£:!!.’dnsndjsjsjdidjdisiwjsjsjsjakxkxkjjdjdjdjjxjdjxj

namjoon: i hope

hobi: jhope?

jin: this is real sad i’m just saying

tae: tell me about it

ik ur going out with mingyu out of pity but you can’t give a guy false hope like

that yk?

jin: why in ur right mind would you ever think i’m agreeing with YOU?

tae: excuse me??

be on the right side of history jin

jimin: you should of died at birth or something

tae: i told you i came out swinging there is no way death could of taken me

i’m above it

y/n: ur above death?

tae: yeah why???

u think it’s hot?

jk: weLL IM NOT ABOVE IT AT ALL AND IM ABOUT TO KMS

jimin: thank god

yoongi: get a fucking grip

tae: yoongi square up

yoongi: fuck off

tae: you all witnessed it yoongi backed down

he shook in fear as the mighty kim taehyung raised his fist in rage

hobi: i feel empty

y/n: hobi are you ok?

hobi: are we about to kiss rn?

tae: TELL MINGYU AGAIN

GET THE SS

THIS ISNT ON

sHES A SLUTTTT

namjoon: tae shut up

like actually

tae: :(

jk: NAMJOON TELL HER

jimin: here we go

namjoon: ???

jk: PUT UR FOOT DOWN AS LEADER

SHE CANT GO TELL HER

NO DATING UNTIL SHES 30

namjoon: she’s a grown woman she can do what she wants

hobi: namjoon feminist president

jin: real

jk: UR NO LONGER COOL

AND U SHOULD OF NEVRF BEEN OUR LEADER

YOU LACK LEADERSHIP SKILLS

AND UR BALD NOW

FOR SOME REASON

U NASTY BALD MAN

I HATE YOU I HATE YOUUUUUUUUSHHSJDNX

y/n: i felt bad

but now i no longer do

i’m going

jimin: feminism on the riseeeee

kill all men!!!

hobi: ur a man?

jin: barely

jimin: do not fucking start with me you old hag

jin: OLD HAG???

jimin: YEAH GLAD YOU CAN READ

namjoon: sighs

hobi: it really frees ur emotions doesn’t it joon?

namjoon: yeah

sighs

jin: DONT BE MAD CUZ UR SCRAPING 5’4

jimin: EXCUSE ME???????

tae: i blame mingyu for all of this

yoongi: do you ever shut the fuck up???

tae: i was quite for a whole 5 minutes?

namjoon: sighs

jk: SO UR TELLING ME SHES GOING ON THJS DATE FOR REAL LIKE NO JOKE REAL LIFE??????????

hobi: wish i was super tuna jin rn

y/n: you guys are like bugs no matter how many times i step on you

you don’t die

namjoon: SIGHS

[cer-rata]

Excerpt from "Heart of Gotham"

Damian rarely ate during his designated lunch period, partially because his eating schedule was warped by the fact that dinner was usually served at midnight, but mostly because it gave him some time to himself to read and people-watch. This time he was guts deep in “Kaguya-sama: Love Is War” and so was pretty annoyed when he felt his phone buzzing to let him know he’d received a text. He’d get to whoever that was later. Then it buzzed again. And again, and again and…He angrily yanked it out of his pocket and scowled at the screen. For some reason Maya desperately wanted his attention.

~~~

Somebody: dude

Somebody: dude

Somebody: dude

Somebody: dude

Somebody: dude

Somebody: dude

Somebody: dude

Somebody: i know ur at lunch answer me

Somebody: dude

DemonBird: What do you want, she-demon?!

Somebody: did u talk to him yet?

DemonBird: I don’t see how that’s any of your concern.

Somebody: so that sounds like a no lmao

ColinW6969: Yeah no he chickened out lol

DemonBird: Wait

DemonBird: WHY IS THIS IN THE GROUPCHAT?! THIS IS A PRIVATE MATTER DUCARD!!!

Somebody: bro everyone figured it out at the hang, i’m tired of people asking me what’s going on

Suren: There is nothing to be embarrassed about, Damian. I think.

Bacon: I disagree, this all sounds very embarrassing. 

JK: Kathy! -_-

ColinW6969: Jokes aside, this is a safe space to be a lil bit fruity man. Kathy is the only one here who would hatecrime you.

Bacon: So true. I have a list.

ColinW6969: You’re like a lil fruitbat lmao

ColinW6969: Wait, do robins eat fruit? I thought it was bugs and trash.

DemonBird: Have a care, Wilkes, I can kill you and be back in school before anyone would notice.

ColinW6969: Con likes me though, he’d be maaaad at you.

DemonBird: You’re actually going to make me break my oath.

WillyBillyBat: All I know man is that If you take any longer I might have to pick up the slack myself

JK: :O

Bacon: lol

Somebody: oop…

Suren: What?

ColinW6969: Damnnn

WillyBillyBat: What can I say, people love a CHAMPION who can reach a high shelf

Bacon: Wait Billy I didn’t realize you belonged on my list. Since when?

WillyBillyBat: I dunno, I think Achilles is rubbing off on me or something lately

DemonBird: SERIOUSLY! I KNOW HOW! TO KILL! ALL OF YOU!

DemonBird: I’m doing it today okay!?

DemonBird: I’m going to ask him to the gala we’re hosting on Friday!

DemonBird: Happy!?

JK: I mean, if that’s actually what YOU want because YOU want it, and not a scenario where someone is controlling your free will and forcing you to make a horrible mistake, then yeah, I’m a little happy :3

Somebody: …

JK: What 

DemonBird: I am muting this chat. I will see you all in hell.

~~~

Damian quietly growled and shoved his phone back into his pocket like he was punishing it. Of the many dangers present in allowing himself to have a social circle, he always managed to underestimate just how annoying other people could be. But…he was at a point where he could admit to himself that he preferred it to being alone.

Eugh. Enough of that, he had manga to enjoy.

[bloos-bloo]

Ykw? I like you :D

Gijinkas your bishops

Jk- I wanted another excuse to give out more headcanons I had for them. They look a bit lazy cause my hand is going nuts :’D it hurts-

I’m gonna add a few more that didn’t fit plus add a bit as to their inspirations!

Leshy’s a bit sad, but that’s what happens when your brother tries to kill you young. I like to think that he doesn’t want anyone to figure out he’s a Bishop, so he dresses similarly to his followers to confuse newcomers who may try to kill him. Leshy reminds me of Fallout, so yeah, it made sense in my head. He doesn’t cover his eyes in Darkwood since it blows his cover, he does around family and when he’s indoctrinated.

I use markings a lot with my ocs to portray status. She has different markings compared to her followers so others would know she’s in charge. In the early days, she did used to sing in her temple’s pub :) it was fun for her. I like to think that Anura is colder so she would dress in layers. My Sozo design also shows this! His tribe was originally in Anura and they were once followers of Heket before it was raided. Funny enough- I based her outfit on the water tribe in Avatar- but she looks like the fire nation- ha-

Kallamar tried his best to help with Leshy- but his fear of water made it hard. They tried not taking it personally, but it hurt :( Leshy used to love being in Anchordeep to see the gemstones. Kal restored to covering Silk Cradle’s ceiling with the stones, and when Leshy took Darkwood, he covered his temple in green stones. Kallamar loves beauty- similar to pink diamond in Steven Universe- but more fucked? All his followers are dressed in jewels and the finest clothes that the tailors make. (Wings of fire fans- book 12 with jewel hive? Like that- exactly like that)

Shamura wears a veil because of their eyes, they’re always diluted. It helps them with their sensitivity to the light. But when they’re not lucid- they use to out of shame. Ever since the betrayal, their followers never seen a clear view of their face. They’re responsible for Narinder’s actions and causing Leshy’s trauma. Their blood was what caused it in the first place :( The similarities to Shamura with the Pale King is insane though. Their followers are devoted to someone who is a shell of who they once were. All their followers wear dark clothes to help with their sensitivity and veils to avoid eye contact. It makes sense in my head-

Sorry for the long ramble :D but I wanted to ramble and draw gijinkas

[xalygatorx]

Unbound | Chapter 10, "What You Want"

Áine Ts'sambra—a wayward half-drow bard with a painful past—has her world upended when she's snatched up by a Nautiloid ship and furnished with a tadpole to the brain. In her journey to remove the infestation before it can turn her and her newfound companions illithid, she not only finds that their solution has more layers to parse through than she can count, but that a particular vampire in her party does as well.

Unbound is an ongoing generally SFW medium-burn romance based in the world of Baldur's Gate 3 between Astarion and a female OC. Any NSFW content will be marked in the Warnings section. Contains angst, fluff, explorations of trauma, spice, graphic fantasy violence, and a guaranteed happy ending.

For anything additional on what to expect (and not expect), check the preface post.

Summary: The party has reached the Grove after a stressful few days on the road from the goblin camp. The tiefling refugees and Zevlor join their camp for the night to celebrate their victory and rest up before resuming their journey to Baldur’s Gate. While making her rounds, Áine receives a proposition from Astarion. 

Pairing: Astarion x Fem!OC

Warnings: 18+/NSFW (p-in-v sex); Astarion romance scene #1 spoilers; suggestive content & dialogue; angst; trauma (intrusive thoughts, self-loathing); lightly proofread; encouraging comments welcome to assuage my anxiety over whether I could do Astarion’s inner monologue justice here hahaha jk unless

Word Count: 8.3k

Listening to: White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes, I Will Love You (Even If It Kills Me) - Too Far Moon (again)

“When I come near, your odor alone is enough to make my neck sweat and my hairs stand on end.”

Easily able to hear the conversation taking place in front of Lae’zel’s tent, Astarion snuck a glance at Áine’s expression, seeing if he could gauge her interest based on look alone. He nearly shot the piss this lot passed for wine through his nose at the sight of her impossibly rounded chocolate eyes and the polite smile plastered across her lips. His mind cemented that sight into a memory that he could only hope would enter his reverie’s nightly rotation and serve to chase at least one recollection of the horrors he’d endured back to its rightful shadows.

Then again, even if caught off-guard, perhaps she’d say “yes” to Lae’zel. He focused back on their conversation and turned his gaze toward the tieflings drunkenly mingling nearby to obscure his intrusion.

“I want to taste you,” Lae’zel was saying, her confidence palpable. It was an honest pride, unlike the sort Astarion wore at times, he realized. She truly believed these things of herself and he envied her for it. “Perhaps tonight. Perhaps later. But I want it all the same.”

Astarion listened with figuratively bated breath for Áine’s answer. He would make his final advances tonight regardless of what she told Lae’zel or anyone else. 200 years’ worth of perfecting his methods under threat of torturous punishment from Cazador would not be for nothing when he finally had a personal use for his skills. If she said “yes” to anyone else, then the plan would simply adjust rather than fail, just like when he’d thought she was seeing Shadowheart.

Not particularly to his surprise but to his benefit, Áine was in the process of letting the githyanki down gently. “I’m sorry, Lae’zel, I don’t feel the same way. But thank you. I think.” Astarion smirked, obscuring his expression behind another sip of whatever acrid brew lay in his wine bottle. 

For the time being, he let his attention wander across the party and their guests, letting the rest of their conversation wrap up without his ear. Áine seemed to be making the rounds around the camp and all its residents, regular and temporary, so she would eventually end up at his tent as well. And if she didn’t, he supposed he’d go seek her out, but Astarion had complete confidence that she’d come. Several times, if all went accordingly.

Meanwhile, Lae’zel was taking Áine’s polite rejection with as much confidence as she’d delivered its related proposition. “Your loss, I fear,” she said, still smiling. “One day soon you will wonder how my lips might have tasted. How my fingers on your skin might’ve felt… And you will wish you could return to this lost moment.”

Áine wasn’t often at a loss for words, but she was now. And yet still she admired Lae’zel’s self-assured demeanor where most would have crumbled in her place at being rejected for a post-party romp. In fact, she’d seen a couple of those responses firsthand already just that night. She was beginning to think Shadowheart may have been onto something when she’d told her all those nights ago that the majority of their camp wanted a shot at her. The idea made her more anxious than flattered. 

With Lae’zel and her steady unfazed response, however, Áine allowed herself to just feel flattered. “If that does come to pass, I know I’ll have no one but myself to blame,” she said, smiling. “I hope I’m as confident in myself as you are someday.”  

Lae’zel smiled back at her, the tilt of her thin lips no longer holding a sensual edge but one of camaraderie. “You deserve to be. I can firmly state that your only major fault that I have witnessed thus far has been your taste in mating partners,” she said. Áine laughed, content to sit in self-deprecation as Lae’zel added, “Oh, but do enjoy yourself this night. I intend to, myself. Wyll or Astarion in particular both look rather tempting...”

Áine’s brows rose, her eyes sliding toward where Astarion stood at his tent. He watched the party with an expression flitting between amusement and a glower, occasionally raising a green glass wine bottle to his lips and seeming to regret it every time. Despite the twisty faces he pulled, he was immaculate as always. Just looking at him made her chest tighten a little, as had begun to happen any time he caught her eye in the past few days. Truly, she’d felt that twinge ever since he’d kissed her that night which already felt like so long ago. 

And amidst that twinge at Lae’zel’s mention of propositioning Astarion was…jealousy? She had no right to be jealous, but she—unlike a certain vampire—could admit that she was. Perhaps he’d be taken with a proposition from Lae’zel, after all. She didn’t hold any sort of right to him and he could do whatever he liked. A simple fling was also often preferable in these times and a much easier task to manage for most, and Áine wasn’t most. As much as it ate at her, she supposed it might be best for all parties if his fancies turned elsewhere and she could start squashing the feelings growing inside her. 

“Well, I just passed Wyll on the beach for whatever it’s worth,” Áine told Lae’zel. “And you can, of course, see your other interest from here… Whatever you do tonight, Lae’zel, I hope you have a nice time.”

“And you as well,” Lae’zel said, inclining her head. Áine couldn’t help but feel heartened when she saw the githyanki’s gaze flicker first toward the beach rather than the tent adjacent to hers.

Áine made her way around the tents further back from the fire, careful to give Gale’s tent a wide berth following their own exchange earlier in the night. His advance she’d seen coming more easily than Lae’zel’s, which had come out of left field, but it hadn’t made her any more ready for it. No matter how sorry she felt and how she communicated that to him, he still tried and seemed increasingly bitter toward her responses each time. 

She’d feared something similar from Wyll, but with his new devilish appearance courtesy of Mizora’s punishment for his refusal to kill Karlach—which had come to pass during their trek back to the Grove—he was more doused in angst than anything down by the shoreline. Áine sighed to herself as she approached Halsin, her dour expression fading only to offer a smile and wave to Mol as she passed by. She hoped that Wyll found it in himself to join the party before it wound to a close. Of all the people who might judge him for his new appearance, she really didn’t think the refugees he’d helped so much would be among them.

“Halsin!” Áine greeted the Archdruid over the jubilant, but occasionally raucous party noise around them. She took in his empty hands and asked, “Can I grab you a drink?”

“Oh, no thank you,” he chuckled. “In truth, I rarely imbibe. The stuff goes right to my head and, before you know it, I’d be breaking into song or declaring love to the first person I lay eyes on.”

Áine laughed. “That hardly sounds like a detriment to a good party, but no pressure, of course,” she said. 

With all the other noise in the vicinity, Astarion now found Áine’s conversation to be out of earshot, only able to pick up the occasional dulcet note of her voice amongst the clamor. It was most certainly not because he’d grown accustomed to seeking out her voice. At the thought, he remembered seeing her by the fireside just a few nights back with tears streaming down her face, her fingers still positioned diligently against her lute strings. 

Astarion pulled a face and took another swallow of wine, which caused him to pull an even stronger face. Bleeding Hells, he wanted a proper vintage, but more than that he wanted to know what that tree trunk of an elf had just done to make her grin like that!

“But I digress,” Halsin was saying, “there are many grateful people here who want to spend time with you. Go on now, don’t waste a night like this talking to me. We will discuss your problem tomorrow.”

Áine frowned at both halves of his statement. “Firstly, it wouldn’t be a waste. But second, I thought you said we could run through some things once we reached the Grove. But we’re putting off the conversation again?”

Halsin frowned. “I understand your eagerness. However, it is something better discussed on a fresh morning, I think. Your parasite shows no further signs of turning before the morrow and a well-deserved night of recreation and rest awaits you.” He offered her an encouraging smile and waved her on. “Enjoy yourself. Seek out some wine before it runs dry—there are a lot of thirsty people around here.”

Yeah, no kidding, Áine thought, artfully dodging both Lae’zel’s and Gale’s eyes as she was dismissed from Halsin’s company. She trotted along toward Shadowheart’s tent, dodging a very tipsy Bex and some other well-drunk tieflings along the way. Áine couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips at seeing everyone so happy. Even if they ran into trouble on the morrow, like Halsin had said, at least they had tonight.

“Everyone seems to be in high spirits, don’t they?” Shadowheart suggested as she drew closer, brandishing a silver goblet. “Can I tempt you?”

Áine paused heavily, suddenly uncertain of what she meant and opting for caution. “...With what?”

Shadowheart’s lips curled into an amused smile. “Wine and glorious friendship.”

“Yes, please,” Áine said, drawing a chuckle from Shadowheart. “Sorry, it’s been a minefield out there tonight. I’ve begun to err on the side of overcareful.”

“I told you that the others were firmly on the prowl,” the cleric said, pouring a goblet for Áine. “Even more true now than it was when I first said it. At least you’ve almost gone full circle at this point, only one or two more stops to make if I’ve paid appropriate attention.” Behind a sip of wine, she mumbled, “Only one of high importance though by my estimation…”

“What was that?” Áine challenged her with a laugh at how utterly smug Shadowheart looked after she lowered her goblet again. The bard took a sip of the wine she’d been gifted, her brows rising as the rich fruity notes graced her tongue. “My goodness, where did you find this?”

Shadowheart gave Áine an ambiguous look that reeked of mischief. “I may have nicked one of the vintages that Wyll stashed away in his tent,” she said. “But you’ll never get me to admit such a second time.”

Áine laughed. “Shadowheart, shame on you!”

“What?! You probably pilfered this bottle, yourself, before the little rat scurried off with it,” she pointed out, refilling her goblet with abandon. “He can’t steal every good wine he sees for himself, he has to share with the class. I’ve simply liberated a single bottle as a treat and you’re welcome for it.”

Áine couldn’t help the amused smirk that found her lips, the heady wine layering on top of the weaker blends she’d already taken that night—many of those pressed into her hands by happy attendees wanting to share their spoils—and making her head pleasantly swim. “Thank you for sharing,” Áine said with a sassy curtsey, a gesture returned by Shadowheart as the two giggled. “What did you mean by ‘only one of importance’?”

“You know what I meant,” Shadowheart said, taking a deep sip of her wine. “Unless I’ve missed you speaking to him, but I daresay I haven’t.”

“Astarion?” Áine asked and, at Shadowheart’s dubious look, she said, “I haven’t just yet. Not for any reason, I just—”

“Prefer to save the best for last?” Shadowheart suggested. Áine started to speak but ended up pursing her lips, silenced by embarrassment. The cleric grinned triumphantly. “Well, go on, what’s the concern? Are you worried he’ll join the list of people to ask you to bed tonight?”

“No!” Áine said but quickly recanted. “I mean, a little.” 

Shadowheart measured Áine’s expression before she slowly asked, “...or are you worried he won’t join that list?”

“I don’t know,” Áine admitted. “For all the reasons we discussed, this sort of thing is a big deal for me in ways that usually just inconvenience others. And while I felt guilty turning down Lae’zel, Karlach, and Gale, I—”

“Karlach, too?” Shadowheart asked, surprised. “I must’ve missed that conversation.”

“She was the first I said ‘hello’ to tonight,” Áine said, “and she was very kind about it. Like you were.”

“That should be the standard, you know,” Shadowheart pointed out. “Anything less than respect shouldn’t be tolerated.”

“Do you know how many people I would have had to ‘not tolerate’ if I followed that rule?” Áine sighed. “And that isn’t a ‘oh look at me, people want to have sex with me’ sort of brag, it’s just the uncomfortable truth.”

Shadowheart frowned. “I suppose. At least you don’t people-please. I would worry about you more if you did.” Áine’s heart warmed at the cleric’s protective tone. “Right, so which are you hoping for then? That he’ll ask or he won’t? Because I’m wagering he will, for whatever that’s worth.”

Áine blushed. “I truly don’t know. I suppose I’ll know if he suggests something,” she said. “That’s all to say if he even does. Lae’zel had an eye on him earlier, so who knows? He may have plans by the time I end up talking to him.”

“You’re counting on that, aren’t you?” Shadowheart asked suddenly. “Because it’s easier than facing the decision yourself.”

“You’re alarmingly observant when you’re drinking,” Áine remarked. She sighed. “It’s all been tension so far and it’s been…nice. I’ve never been interested in someone like this before and I’m afraid I’ll mess it up. By what I’m like as a person, as a partner, or by my actions in the moment. By doubting myself and the truth of my feelings.”

Shadowheart studied Áine, taking a deep breath and releasing it in a sigh. “Far be it from me to encourage you toward that rakish vampire—and, believe me, I don’t believe his intentions to be pure regardless of who he associates with—but if one of you is to ‘ruin’ whatever you have going on, it will not be you. And if you do then so be it,” she said, shrugging. She swirled her wine around her goblet, looking at its dark currents thoughtfully. “In my experience, the regret we feel at not seeking something out is stronger than that which we feel at seeking something out and finding it wasn’t what we thought.” 

Shadowheart’s gaze lifted back to Áine’s. “All that to say, at least you’ll know if you try. But do be careful. I am a cleric after all and can fashion a stake in mere minutes if need be.”

Áine gave her a tender smile and collected Shadowheart into a hug. “Thank you.”

Shadowheart hugged the bard close, resting her chin against her shoulder and gently patting her back. Over Áine’s shoulder, she caught Astarion’s eye who was attempting a surreptitious glance their way. He froze when they locked eyes, at least until Shadowheart gave him a teasing wag of her brows while she still held the object of his interest in her arms. 

Astarion scoffed and looked away with a roll of his eyes, causing Shadowheart to chuckle. Áine felt the movement of her chest against her own and asked, “What is it?”

“Oh, nothing,” Shadowheart said as they parted, sipping her wine. “Here, have one for the road,” she added as she topped off Áine’s goblet. “And, again…be careful. But also enjoy yourself.”

Shyly, Áine smiled and inclined her head in thanks for the advice and the wine. Sipping from her goblet as she turned to head back into the fray, Áine’s eyes wandered the party, but they of course settled in a predictable spot. Astarion’s vibrant crimson eyes caught hers the moment she did, snaring her attention as wholly as ever and affirming that she would indeed have to face whatever would end up surfacing between them that night. Perhaps nothing would—but the possibility of “something” unnerved and electrified her at once.

Clutching the goblet from Shadowheart in her palm like a lifeline, Áine crossed the distance to where Astarion stood waiting, contemplating his bottle and the wine within until she stood before him. “Good evening so far?” Áine wondered, measuring what was gone from the bottle he held to try to determine that.

“It is now,” he said, smooth as ever. Áine gave him a scolding look but couldn’t keep the smile from her lips. Astarion smirked and commented, “You know, I never pictured myself as a hero. Never thought I’d be the one they’d toast for saving so many lives. And now that I’m here…” 

Áine watched him pause to take a long sip of his wine before he finished his thought. “I hate it. This is awful.”

The bard laughed. “Surely it can’t be so bad? We did a good thing.”

“The tally of lives didn’t change much—a few goblins killed to save a few tieflings,” he said with a shrug. “And what do I get for all my hard work? A pat on the head and vinegar for wine.”

“Oh stop, you got to kill a horde of goblins, too,” Áine chastised him, her tone affectionate despite her scolding. “And the wine is not that bad.”

Astarion’s brows rose and he challenged her by offering the bottle. Áine rolled her eyes and shook her head, but took the bottle in her free hand, tilting it back to take a sip. When a rich, dry red wine hit her tongue, she looked at the bottle and then at Astarion, bewildered at how he could find anything wrong with the blend.

He mistook her baffled expression for distaste. “See what I mean? Awful!” 

Áine licked her lips, a motion that Astarion followed with keen interest, as she looked back down at the bottle. “It tastes relatively normal to me, but perhaps our palates differ,” she suggested, although she was wondering why he was trying to drink wine in the first place. He’d told her and Gale once in passing conversation that any food he’d tried since turning tasted wrong on the tongue, wouldn’t wine have the same result? Maybe he wasn’t ready to accept that yet. “Try mine?” Áine offered instead, holding out her goblet. She decided to withhold that it was an expensive vintage for now until he tried it. For science, of course.

Astarion took the goblet she offered, his wintry touch ghosting across her warm skin and, she thought, lingering a bit longer than usual. When she stole a glance at his face, she found him watching her with an intensity that caught her off-guard. Without breaking eye contact, he tried the wine she offered him, and she saw his throat work again before he said, “I admit it is better, but still leaves much to be desired.”

Áine wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that wine wouldn’t taste good to him anymore if even these decadent reds didn’t pique his interest. She didn’t have a death wish. 

Astarion handed her back her goblet, politely refusing the bottle when she tried to return it to him, giving up on that one completely. He sighed loudly. “All I want is a little fun. Is that so much to ask?” he griped.

Áine was occasionally sipping the wine from her goblet, resting her lips against the rim even when she wasn’t. The cool metal was a helpful grounding tool. She snorted a little, glancing toward the festivities taking place all around them. “And what do you consider ‘a little fun’?” she asked. Here it was—either he’d suggest something akin to what everyone else seemed to be hungry for that night or he’d flip her expectations and crave something else. Violence, perhaps. Mischief, most certainly. 

“By the Hells. Sex, my dear. A night of passion.” 

Shadowheart had been right. Áine paused heavily, her lips still brushing the rim of her goblet as she looked up at him and studied his expression. He had his rake mask on, not a crack in it to be seen. 

While she introspected a little at how his suggestion made her feel, she said aloud, “Ah, I see,” with a soft laugh. As somewhat of a test, Áine nodded toward Lae’zel’s tent and informed him, “I was talking to Lae’zel a little bit ago and she mentioned having half a mind to seek you out for some extracurricular. For what that’s worth.”

Astarion’s brows rose. “Is that what you want?”

Now it was Áine’s turn to be confused. “What do you mean? You said you wanted sex.”

“Yes, and you’ve suggested that I seek out Lae’zel, or let her seek me out,” Astarion said. “Is that what you’d prefer I do?”

Áine frowned at him. “I want you to do what you want to do. Always. Consider it a heads-up, if nothing else.”

There was that assertion of autonomy again. Astarion didn’t know how to handle her when conversations took this turn. He hardly knew how to handle himself and he hated that feeling. The rest of it, he craved. Dangerously. However, Astarion also craved needling her a little. “Right, now who’s jealous?” he accused with a crooked smirk.

Áine gave him a sideways look that reeked of disapproval, which only egged him on. “I am not jealous,” she declared, but she was lying and they both knew it. Instead of continuing to persist, she grumbled into her goblet and took a deep gulp of wine.

He watched her intently, gauging every microexpression in her pretty face as he said, “What if what I want is a night with you?” Her face visibly warmed over and she didn’t speak right away. He found himself filling the silence when she didn’t. “I know, me and everyone else this eve. It wouldn’t take my specialized range of hearing to guess that you’ve had such a proposition at every stop tonight.”

“Shadowheart didn’t ask,” she supplied, her lips pursing as she realized he was pretty much correct about the others. “Wyll didn’t either.”

“Shadowheart doesn’t surprise me. She already took her shot,” Astarion commented, his unanswered question hanging painfully in the air while they chitchatted around it. “Wyll does surprise me though.”

Áine shrugged and inclined her head back toward the beach. “He’s having a time. When I checked on him earlier, he wasn’t keen on joining the festivities. He’s still adjusting to his new look and he was wary of the tieflings seeing him like that.”

Astarion scoffed. “Was he, now? Oh, boo-hoo, ‘no one at the tiefling party knows how hard it is to have horns,’ now that makes complete sense,” he remarked.

“Shush,” Áine half-cackled, giving him a playful shove. “Gods, that’s not funny. You’re positively evil for making me laugh at that.”

Astarion smirked. “An absolute villain, I know,” he bantered back. He’d stepped closer to Áine after she’d given him her little shove and he was comfortably cloaked in her bouquet—the delicious, tempting scent of her blood combined with soap and mint leaves. “Did you want Wyll to ask you?” he asked, dropping his voice to a low husk.

Áine shook her head, having to tilt her head back some to meet his eyes when he was this close. “No. I was relieved that he didn’t,” she said honestly. The quiet stretched again, and then apropos of his earlier question, Áine finally gave him a slow nod. “I would say yes, by the way.”

Astarion was a little slower on the uptake, unsure if she was referencing back to his original question or if he was experiencing a form of wishful thinking. “Yes to what, dearest?”

Áine swallowed against a suddenly tight throat and replied, “To you. If what you wanted…was me.”

Astarion gave her a rakish smile. “But we’re not jealous, are we?”

Áine gave him a hard look in return. “Don’t make me change my mind.”

“Fine, fine,” the vampire said with a chuckle, raising his hands in surrender. “Once things quiet down… Once everyone’s asleep, we’ll find each other.” Astarion nodded toward the far side of their camp. “The little glade we set up in when we last passed through here isn’t far from here… That should give us plenty of privacy to…get to know each other better.” 

Still a little timid, Áine nodded back. She was nervous, but it was a nice sort of nervous. One might even call it “butterflies.” Gods, she was deep in it already. However, she’d decided she would follow what her gut told her to do this time and when he’d suggested that he wanted to spend the night with her, the thrill that had hummed through her bones and the heat that had warmed her from her belly to her heart told her all she needed to know. She wanted to know what happened next for them.

To him, she said, “I suppose I’ll see you there, then.”

Astarion smiled, the expression perfectly dashing and sensual as he murmured, “Indeed, you will, my love… Indeed, you will.”

His voice and the words he wrapped within it did funny things to her heart and Áine gave him a look before that look crumbled into a soft laugh and a smile. “Right,” she murmured, handing him her goblet. “I leave you the ‘still much to be desired but better’ wine and will now make myself scarce.”

Astarion accepted her offering and raised the goblet to her as she stepped away. In truth, the wine she’d offered him was as acrid as what was in the bottle she took with her, but it was less to choke down, he supposed. Someday perhaps he would admit to himself that wine was as much off the table as any other consumable that wasn’t blood, but today was not that day. 

He watched his little bard find her way to Alfira, greeting the other woman with a fond hug and finding herself immediately furnished with a borrowed flute. Subconsciously, he rotated the goblet against the press of his lower lip until he found where she’d rested the metal against hers, her warmth still lingering there. Astarion closed his lips over the spot, disguising his fixation with a sip of wine that nearly drained what remained in the goblet. 

As his eyes traced Áine’s movements—her dancing while she and Alfira performed, the rise and fall of her breasts as she portioned her breath between the flute and her steps, every time her hair caught the light of the fire or the moon peeking over the canopy, the joyful sparkle in her eyes that he found himself hoping he represented one small part of—he took a moment to collect himself. 

Astarion, at no fault to himself or his allure, had been almost certain that she would give him the polite “no” she’d delivered around the camp several times already that evening. He’d had competition from their allies, even from some of the tieflings, and even though he knew he was the obviously correct choice amongst them all, she’d still picked him of her own volition. He was positively preening, but he was also wary. Wary of how easily this singular woman’s “yes” had set him aflame, the “heart of a schoolboy” feeling anew yet again, and also how the personal stock he was developing in winning her over might cause him to make a mistake. 

This is a transaction, he reminded himself firmly. Sex was always a transaction, regardless of feeling. He’d learned that swift and soon and had been reminded of it every day since that first time allowed out of the kennels to prowl the streets and lure back a prize he’d deliver to his master. His former master. 

Astarion’s jaw set. This was hardly any different. He’d chosen her as a target, an easy one at that, and would follow through on executing his plan as he’d originally intended. The only difference was that he’d get to keep this prize and its benefits of protection. He’d never have to hunt, to lie, to bed for another’s gain again.

He was in control of this situation, he reminded himself as he returned his pensive stare to its subject, teaching himself to dismiss the things that transfixed him. He wouldn’t be controlled by her or by his feelings for her, he wouldn’t be tricked into a vulnerable position, into servitude, into capture by the tangential side-effects of physical intimacy. Astarion brought those additional walls down around his mind and heart, remembering his foolish attachments from those first few victims he took in Cazador’s name. The guilt, the heartache, the shreds of hope—all of it had simply added to his misery in those sparse stone dungeon rooms after he’d delivered those first ill-chosen innocent souls to their fate.

Misery would have no company from him. Never again.

It occurred to him later, while slipping off his shirt under the cloak of shadow just past the trees circling the clearing, that despite telling himself that he was in full control of the entire situation, the entire seduction, that he was awfully anxious for that to be true in its entirety.

Astarion chalked it up to how much of his guaranteed personal safety relied on this and also from the mild pressure he’d felt start to build by being the partner Áine had chosen out of several available options. It was different than seducing someone in a tavern or from a street corner. He wouldn’t be taking her to her death afterward—he’d see her the next day, travel on as usual, and likely even sleep with her again at some point if she asked or he felt a need to renew his “contract,” so to speak. And he had no doubt she’d ask. But it was something quite different to know that this encounter wouldn’t be the last he had with someone.

He worried the inside of his lower lip with the edge of one fang, firmly pushing down the anxiety rising in him that made as little sense as the foreign symptoms of desire that he’d only seen in others who looked upon him for ages but hadn’t felt within his own body for centuries. 

Astarion grumbled at his physical betrayals, setting his well-worn and oft-repaired ruffled shirt down on the grass in front of him as he sifted through his mind for some of his best lines, the ones he felt most comfortable delivering and also a few with a good track record for success. “I’ve wanted you from the first moment I laid eyes on you,” was always a strong choice. And it was a line he’d used a thousand times over as well. That would help him numb himself a bit and dissociate from what was soon to come. 

Or so he hoped, anyway. Maybe she’d changed her mind or passed out after all the wine and dancing had taken their toll on her.

He’d no sooner thought that than he heard familiar, hesitant footsteps working their way from the direction of the campsite. Astarion’s mouth twitched with a faint smile that echoed a feeling of triumph, of anticipation…and of something bittersweet. He wasn’t a monster, after all. He did feel a touch guilty for reeling her in like this. The poor thing was infatuated, just as he’d intended for her to be, but he knew quite well he’d played the rake as well as ever. Of course she was entranced by his practiced façade. He’d yet to meet someone he’d tried to seduce who didn’t end up under the spell of its glamor.

It is, after all, all you’re good for.

Astarion dropped his head forward, wincing at the voice in his head reciting something Cazador had told him so many times that Astarion had begun to hear it in his own voice, telling himself the truth of things. He heard the footsteps nearby when they crossed the edge of the clearing, and then when they stopped, too. 

He shelved the despair that clawed its way forward with incrementally more success in each attempt to overtake him again. There was no Cazador in this scenario, there would never be again. The only person he needed to worry about for the moment was growing evermore hesitant just shy of his hiding place and would retreat to camp if he didn’t show himself soon.

Roughly, lovelessly, Astarion rubbed himself through the taut leather of his pants, his jaw tightening as familiar nausea seeped into the pit of his stomach. He winced as his own touch turned harsher, hateful even. His mind recited old lines, ones he was soon to use on a surely unsuspecting Áine and ones he used on himself to ensure he would perform as he must. Remember to tell them how much you want this, he ran through in his head, his palm still grinding against his cock until his anatomy was bullied into arousal. Now stay hard until she finishes. This is your payment. This is a trade. Remember that and remember to smile.

One shuddering breath later, Astarion donned the mask as professionally as ever, all traces of self-loathing, of pain, of grief for what he’d lost neatly leeched from his exterior, nestled like a leaden ball behind his bared chest, where his heart should’ve beat. And then he stepped out into the moonlight.

Áine was still there but looked as though she was just considering heading back. She stilled her step when he showed himself and he watched her eyes trace down his torso, across his muscular arms, before they snapped back to meet his. She reminded him of a fawn, which was a far cry from the hellion he knew she could be—it made seeing her like this that much more new, that much more a secret between them. He’d be gentle with this prey, Astarion told himself, eager to hang onto this vision rather than the more dangerous alternative of looking at her and seeing her. If this endured, he would remain fully in control. 

“There you are,” he greeted her, remembering to smile. “I’ve been waiting.” Astarion inclined his head as he approached her, his gaze trailing languidly across her clothed body, noting where the fabric clung to a curve, where it draped across her toned limbs. 

He also kept a speculative eye on her expressions and how she reacted to him, body and words. Her attraction to him was consistent in how it gave her away—he could feel her heat already from where she stood, just at arm’s length, and hear her heart flutter first in nerves and then in wanting. Astarion noticed that the more of this he took in, the less nauseous he seemed to feel, perhaps because his attention was elsewhere. Áine smiled at him, either what he offered or what he’d said pleasing to her.         

Emboldened, Astarion added, his voice a calculated, sensual husk, “Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you… Waiting to have you.”

Something about that didn’t land. Áine gave him a peculiar look although her smile lingered and he wasn’t sure what had tipped her off. He’d heard himself give a flawless delivery of a line that had made many a man, maiden, all weak at the knees. 

Áine smirked as she fiddled with the ties of her shirt, rolling the tiny knotted ends between her fingertips. “Before or after the headbutt?” she asked. “Or perhaps because of the headbutt?”

Shit.

Astarion pursed his lips, already mentally lashing himself and working on a recovery. Of course she’d found that funny rather than sexy—he hadn’t accounted for how different their meeting had been from the others he’d scouted. They were no sensual brush of hands in a tavern near closing, no whispered word against the ear whose echo carried only to an inn room door, no loveless meeting of eyes in a darkened street where the fire of carnal favors were the only ones with light on offer. 

They were a dagger to the throat, an offer for companionship, a roll in the dirt, and yes, even a headbutt when he hadn’t let her go the first time she’d asked. They were a quiet conversation fireside, a snarky comment and an answering laugh, a sometimes-bard and sometimes-swordswoman with a sneak-thief archer protecting her flank, an injury and a salve in perfect alternation thus far.   

The part of the salve this night it seemed, Áine smiled at him, the crescent of her lips warm and inviting and putting the moon above them to shame. “I could always replicate our meeting,” she offered. “You don’t have me yet, you know.”

“Don’t I?” Astarion challenged her, a little unnerved by her now. She was turning the tables by flirting with him, by seducing him. He couldn’t recall ever being seduced. Never needed to be, really. And he didn’t need to be now either, but it felt…nice to have her eyes on him, to be met with a—he cursed himself for even thinking it—partner in this sense. There was no power struggle either, it seemed, which was also new. His earlier attempts to keep his mind away from Áine as a person rather than something to hunt and catch were failing one after another and the way she spoke to him felt kind and playful. She spoke to him like an equal as much as she ever had. “You’re here, after all. And…I don’t think you want to talk.”

“No?” Áine bantered back seamlessly. Perhaps his slip had been to his benefit. She seemed somehow more relaxed, more interested than before, even when his little lines had been working. What a strange one you are, he thought, still studying her as she asked, “What do I want, then?”

He was back on track. “I think,” Astarion purred, stepping closer as his hand traced the air around her, not yet moving to touch her, “you want to be known.” He smiled at her meaningfully. “To be tasted.”

Áine’s lower lip caught between her teeth. He could feel the heat coming off her skin as her blush deepened, he could smell her desire and it could only rival the bouquet of her life’s blood that he’d come to recognize without question. An alien sensation coursed through him and went straight to his cock where it still pressed against the seamed leather of his trousers. It jarred him and, were he any less broken, he may have thought that had been his own first taste of desire. But Astarion felt nothing when it came to sex. He’d been broken of that long ago. It hadn’t even taken a year.

She interrupted his internalized confusion when she turned the tables on him yet again. “And what do you want?” Áine asked, her voice hushed into a murmur that sent a shiver up Astarion’s spine. No, it was the air. A wayward breeze, he corrected viciously. She wasn’t allowed this sort of influence on him, this was what he meant to do to her. And clearly was, but…had he ever been asked what he wanted? Especially on the precipice of carnal pleasure? 

What did he want?

His hesitation did not breach his mask. “What do any of us want? Pleasure,” he reasoned simply, perfectly present while his thoughts careened down forbidden paths. The best he could do was block out his wayward mind, focus on what he had complete control over at last—his body. And yet wasn’t he just repeating its most habitual motions? Now wasn’t the time to question himself. “Yours. Mine. Our collective ecstasy.”

Astarion could see the way her eyes grew heavy with lust, the cadence of his voice purposeful and near-hypnotic. He could see her beginning to bend—he simply needed her to break. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? To lose yourself in me?”

Part of him wanted her to say “no.” Not to refuse him, but to tell him that wasn’t what she wanted. To tell him that this was somehow more than just a bit of dissociation, at least for him, more than what he logically knew it really was. And she did see something in his eyes, or so it seemed to him, that made her hesitate. 

Yet as different as she was from anyone and everyone before her, Astarion artfully derailed her train of thought with the simple gesture of skimming his fingers up the length of her arm, her skin like summer against his icy touch. Áine leaned in toward him, her lashes fluttered, and a soft sigh eased her lips apart. It was all the answer he needed, the only one he was comfortable receiving despite all his contrary wishes. Astarion smiled and whispered, “I thought so.”

Áine’s eyes remained conflicted despite their lack of focus and Astarion relied on his distractions winning out before he could discover what had her faltering. He couldn’t stop to wonder if he’d let something slip through his otherwise carefully curated façade. It didn’t matter. 

His fingertips trailed up her sleeve, tracing the sweep of her collarbone until he reached the ties of her shirt, and his carefully tended nails found purchase on one of the knots she toyed with. Astarion’s eyes flickered up to meet hers as he tugged the tie loose, taking the hem of her shirt and lifting it over her head. This was a procedure. It was practiced. He’d help her undress and then he, with her help if she preferred, would disrobe. Then he’d simply initiate with a kiss, lay her down in the grass, and uphold his part of the unspoken bargain. It was the most repeated pattern in his lifetime. All he had to do…

Astarion’s regimented thoughts, the rehearsed little moves he’d run through in his mind, all sputtered to a halt the moment he let her shirt flutter to the grass and he laid eyes on her naked body again. He’d counted on having once already seen her topless down in the river that night, thinking that this at least would have no way to distract him again. And yet the sight of her lavender skin, star-shaped scars, and perfect, pert dusky breasts all highlighted by the celestial landscape above them left him stunned all over again. 

Luckily—or perhaps not—for him, Áine was too busy minding her own clothing to notice him staring, his mask forgotten for an instant. She fumbled with her belt with nervous hands until he reached out and hooked a finger in the strap, pulling her toward him and catching her parted lips in a kiss when she looked up. Nimbly, he unfastened her buckle and untied the laces of her trousers all while his tongue explored her warm, yielding mouth. 

He felt her fingers at his waistband and smirked against her lips. “Eager little thing, aren’t you,” he mumbled and claimed her mouth again before she could snap back, causing her to whimper against his tongue and fangs instead. Astarion barely swallowed the growl that rose in his throat at this new sound of hers, surprised at himself and how tightly wound he felt. 

She succeeded in loosening his trousers but he snagged her persistent hands in his own before she could go any further. Astarion placed Áine’s hands on his shoulders and reached down to get rid of his own pants, suddenly anxious at the feeling of someone else’s hands touching his skin, his clothes, trying to strip him down to touch his cock. Memories of pawing, grabbing, chafing touches from rough, hungry hands seeped in like a sickness and he tensed against the intrusive tactile flashbacks. 

Astarion broke their kiss and swallowed thickly, opening his eyes to look at the woman before him and remind himself precisely where he was and what was happening outside his tortured mind. He could feel Áine’s hands twitch against his shoulders, but they stayed firmly where he’d put them. Trusting her to resist her obvious desire to touch him, Astarion focused on finishing the removal of his trousers and then hers thereafter before scooping her up into his arms. 

He cradled her ass in his hands and backed her against a tree, kissing her again. She kissed him back, harder and more passionately this time, and he readily followed her lead for the moment as he felt her legs hook around his hips and draw him in toward her heat. He punished her mouth with his, cursing her warmth, her intoxicating scent, her beautiful body, her kindness, all of it straight to Avernus. She was far from his first warm body and yet she still felt like a first as he smoothed his hands over her thighs, unable to help the quiet growl that surfaced from his throat this time with her satin skin laid open and bare against his palms. He felt her shiver against him, her arms tightening around his shoulders as her back arched, pressing her body needily against his while they devoured each other as if starving. 

This would get messy quickly if he didn’t check himself. He hadn’t promised an impassioned, tortured lover, after all, he’d promised the artful, cunning seducer. The patient wolf, the beguiling rake. Besides that, he couldn’t comprehend still how the first could even be happening. Astarion had warred with himself throughout every step of putting his plans for her, for them, into motion and yet it was all coming to a head with the delirium he found himself exposed to now. Everything he’d thought would resolve itself when he finally slept with her was just intensifying with each second that ticked by. As if to prove his point, she impatiently squirmed against him and he very nearly took her on the spot.

Astarion circled an arm around her waist, holding her still as he reached between her legs, finding her plenty hot and wet for him to get this wrapped up. The tiny moan that escaped her when he touched her went straight to his now rock-hard cock. Áine threatened his self-control in a way that terrified him. It was the polar opposite of the way Cazador’s power over him had terrified him, but it terrified him all the same. She made him feel as if he’d come apart from her slightest touch. A lack of control, to him, in any form was unwanted, and more frightening still was realizing that some part of him wanted her to render him helpless. It went against every single thing he’d sworn to himself during his imprisonment in the last two centuries and everything he’d sworn to himself since stepping off that Nautiloid.

Astarion took her down to the grass, allowing himself to memorize and savor her despite his fear of what she may be capable of with him. Áine met his gaze and a flash of consideration entered her beautifully lust-laden eyes before she tilted her head back and bared her neck for him. Astarion’s eyes flickered between her face and her neck, his throat beginning to burn with the rest of him as he weighed her offer if it was truly an offer. 

As if answering his thoughts, Áine nodded and temptation won out. Astarion buried his face against her neck, running his tongue along her pulse before he bit her at the same time he positioned himself to slide into her warm, wet cunt. 

The instant he did, any semblance of control he had, he lost.

Astarion maintained his clarity for the sake of not bleeding his lover dry, but the rest of his body acted with abandon. He found a rhythm between their hips, angling himself to pump against her inner walls that already clenched around him with every thrust. Swallowing the mouthful of blood he’d taken, he licked her wound closed and concentrated on his thrusts, gratified when her little moans became trembling, barely controlled mewls and her legs tightened around his hips. 

Astarion was so focused on bringing her to her peak that he hardly realized he was reaching his for the first time with someone else. He could force his body into anything—he’d learned that without room for doubt over the years—and had sorted out how to perfectly fake an orgasm if needed. Not that the vast majority of those he bedded cared whether or not he came. It was something he was so unused to monitoring during sex that when it hit him, it hit him harder than he could’ve thought possible.

As Áine muffled a cry against the back of her hand, her body shaking under him as she came, Astarion suddenly felt himself go over the edge with her, gripping her tightly as pleasure ripped through him, a quavering groan that he just barely managed to bite down rising in his throat as he flooded her with his seed. They both shivered through aftershocks in each other’s arms, but through the mind-numbing euphoria, something else resurfaced in Astarion.

That guilt again. For ever thinking of this as a chore, like something he had to do to ensure his safety. For every time he’d squashed what he felt while touting their match as something real and normal and without deception. For setting Áine up to wind up with nothing but his broken, worthless, rotten soul at the finish line when he’d wordlessly promised so much more. 

For not being able to give her something real, no matter how desperately he now realized he wanted to.

Next chapter: Chapter 11, "Old Scars"

[jiminrings]

“The ache of unfulfillment in you is bred by everything significant in your life” really legitimized the harrowing feeling I have everyday questioning what I’m doing in life,

but also I don’t really do enough to change it? It is what it is(for the most part) and I’ve been living in my head constantly scrutinizing myself enough for three generations. It’s a sad truth I’ve come to live with, but I really resonate w readers lack of agency after all.

In a very selfish way, I was jealous of the eventual convo w joon airing out her grievances and seeing him will to make that change while addressing his faults. I wish I had siblings (or anyone) that saw me grow up and realize that maybe I did deserve better, better than just “okay”.

“What your mom does know is that she doesn’t know a single thing about the heartbreak you suppress, and that thought alone makes her hiccup in tears.” Can we put this in the hall of literary cogitates? Re: I had to open my journal in the middle of reading and reflect on why this scene came down on my chest like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs.

I loved yoongi (still rooting for him to grovel a bit more) but him finally revealing all the silent ways he loved reader was:(. She deserved to know how much she meant to him, that he loved her so much, traveled countries in hopes to find her.

I want to believe he truly loves(ed) her and she didn’t become his failsafe bc of the divorce with hyewon. I truly think “you don’t know what you had till it’s gone” describes Yoongi because he missed a lifetime a love for a couple years of settling with someone who didn’t respect him.

“You’ll go on this tangent that you’ve always been weak, influenced by the times that Yoongi had chastised you for your lack of a passion. 

To you, Yoongi had been right in a way.

To Yoongi, he’s always been in the wrong” broke my heart the right amount :|

Haneul being a conjecture personified. A constant reminder of what reader could’ve had, but more importantly a wake up call that we’re too late for hypotheticals. We’re here now and have to deal with the consequences of (Y)our actions (yoongi:p)

I also loved jk. He was so sweet and if their jobs weren’t a conflict of interest, I’d be delighted to see how loved he’d make her feel. I hope he puts his crush to good use and treats her the best.

I think this has been my favorite oc you’ve written because of how much she resembles my daily life. A kind of selfish bit, but it’s heartwarming looking at someone knowing they deserved better than the cards they were dealt because that means there’s a hope someone will finally look at me and think the same. (Fingers crossed for us all)

Thank u sm for writing this and I hope my eyes are not mistaken me and there’s a continuation of the series? I’d love to see how it plays out

Also, reader & I would love a Spotify jam session w Passion by PinkPantheress on repeat all night long for sure <3

first of all, thank u so so much for reading and being here w me 🫂🩷 i'm with you with that harrowing feeling every single day bc whenever i look back at even the most recent month, i get so shocked?? wdym i am occasionally miserable bc of the same things i swore are the ones that keep me happy . ahhhh i'm glad that stuck with you!!!! u may not have siblings but trust me, as someone with two brothers, having them isn't what's always cut out to be i promise!!! i resonate w you wanting someone to tell you u deserved better (for the best and more than okay) n although i'm not your sister, i'm here to tell u that you really, genuinely did 🩷🩷 STOPPPPP u opening ur journal mid-read?? whew!!! haneul really is a conjecture personified i fear </3 thank you so so much for reading and taking the time to send me this!!! it truly means a lot to me (more than i can ever enunciate) n to know that oc is a statue of what you n i (n a lot of other people) feel like is really something!!!! ty for the recs n yes there'll be a season 2!!! MWAH!!!!

[hiorintruther]

The scans have been out a few days now so I’m posting this. We just got Hiori’s backstory so let me expel more Hiorin headcanons onto you good people (seriously why are we so delusional abt this ship???) — obviously massive spoiler warning as of chapter 206 of the manga.

Also a cw for child abuse — these hcs pretty much all deal with their trauma:

Hiori and Rin have had a very long, very depressing trauma dump conversation about their families.

Rin has decided to add Hiori’s parents to the ‘I’ll fucking kill them’ list inside his head… which he totally has for no reason in particular…

Hiori likewise understands Rin’s resentment towards Sae deeply and doesn’t blame him at all for feeling so angry and upset.

The fact that the family members they hate are all telling them they aren’t good enough as they are (Sae explicitly, Hiori’s parents implicitly) ends up becoming a means of mutual understanding between them, allowing Hiori to feel a bit safer around Rin and Rin to not hate Hiori like he does the rest of Blue Lock.

Rin has tried to subtly allude to the idea that Hiori can move in with him at any time to get away from his family. Hiori has only half picked up on the signals though because a) Rin is shit at communicating anything nice, and b) Rin’s almost year younger than Hiori so it doesn’t actually make much sense to do that but it’s the thought that counts.

A lot of their conversations take place in the monitor room, in the dark, where they feel safest being vulnerable with each other (aka: see my fic on AO3).

Hiori has used dry, dark humour as a coping mechanism in front of Rin before and Rin has started doing it too occasionally.

So many “lol I hate my family, I hope they die, jk… unless?” jokes.

They end up having a mutual understanding for one another and can almost subconsciously pick up on when something reminds the other of their trauma.

For some more domestic, outside/no Blue Lock hcs (there’s a ton of food-related ones here idk why):

When they make dinner, Rin is sure to mix a healthy, balanced meal with convenience store foods coz Hiori hates eating a very strict diet. It reminds Hiori of the way his parents used to control everything about his life down to what he ate. Sometimes, Rin even makes a separate meal for himself because he wants to calorie count and know exactly what he’s eating, but Hiori’s had a bad day and really needs some instant ramen and pudding.

Hiori doesn’t have a big sweet tooth though, as a result of his parents’ conditioning. He didn’t grow up accustomed to sweet things so he finds anything too sugary difficult to eat (this comes from the egoist Bible where his least favourite food is cotton candy because of the sugar content). His love of salty food however is through the roof and Rin has to remind him to check the sodium contents on the meals he chooses at the convenience store.

Rin has stopped insulting or talking badly about Isagi around Hiori, purely because Hiori feels safe around Isagi. It’s a challenge, and mostly they try to keep Isagi out of their conversations altogether, but if he does come up Rin attempts to be neutral.

Sometimes, Hiori holes himself up in his computer room playing shooters. When that happens, Rin knows to leave him alone until he’s out of his slump, because it’s usually a sign that Hiori is remembering some bad memories. They both like their own space anyway, so it isn’t as if much changes in their routines.

While Hiori’s in a slump, Rin restocks their fridge with energy drinks and instant meals so Hiori can dip in and out to get food when he wants it. He eats alone unless Hiori texts him saying he’ll be out to get food.

Rin also doesn’t bring up anything to Hiori once Hiori re-emerges from his room, letting Hiori come to him if he wants to talk about it. Hiori knows Rin struggles with dealing with trauma, so he usually leaves it.

Once when Rin was having a particularly stressful time, Hiori bought him a whole box of his favourite ice creams (the ones he used to get on the way home from practice) and they had a competition to see who could get the most “winner” sticks. Rin won.

Hiori has also attempted to learn how to cook so he can make Rin food when Rin isn’t feeling up to cooking. Rin says he’ll just order takeout but Hiori insists on trying some of his recipes. How successful he is varies on how easy it is to throw the ingredients in a pan and let them simmer.

When sleeping together, they usually stick to their own sides of the bed but sometimes when Hiori is feeling upset he reaches out to Rin as a comfort. Rin isn’t the best at providing said comfort, but he lets Hiori into his arms in those moments.

On the flip-side, if Rin has been feeling angry or frustrated because of Sae, Hiori will slowly snake his arms around Rin’s torso and hug him close, becoming the big spoon despite being smaller. Rin places his hand over Hiori’s as a reassurance that he feels reassured doing this.

Sometimes, but not always, this nighttime cuddling leads to talking about their pasts. Rin always holds Hiori very close and says that Hiori was never in the wrong and never deserved to go through anything that happened as a result of his parents’ expectations (usually with a lot of colourful language). Hiori likewise will do the same for Rin whenever Sae gets brought up, although he’s less vulgar. His words are somehow even more scathing though.

They both find it easier to open up in the dark. It feels like a safety blanket that can hide their vulnerability, especially for Rin.

[defectivevillain]

struck by your lightning, chii

reader’s pronouns: he/him

here’s chapter one [you’ll want to read this first, otherwise this part won’t make much sense]

as i mentioned in part one, this is a chat fic and the formatting was mostly made for ao3. it’s a lil wonky here, so here’s the ao3 version if you’d prefer to read that :)

a lil recap of last chapter: you're assigned to work the red carpet at a national awards gala. there, you interview tons of celebrities, including kaminari! kaminari is super nice & you leave the event feeling exhausted, relieved, and satisfied all at once. you return home to take a light nap, only to wake up to a notification from your phone. it seems kaminari is texting you...? that's weird.

Direct Message

You: SKJNFIOE LK>BFGJSL B>GEJRHKR BLWUIFKGJ ER

Kaminari Denki: u good?

You: TOTALLY COMPLETELY FINE

Kaminari Denki: OKAY, GOOD ?

You: YEP…

You: 😶

Kaminari Denki: 😶 😶

You: sorry i didn’t believe you

You: i have to be careful with messages from unknown numbers…

You: well, you get it, i’m sure.

Kaminari Denki: ya i get it

You: also, i have something to say to you

Kaminari Denki: wassup

You: waffles are better fck u

Kaminari Denki: ur so wrong.

You: I AM ABSOTLEUYL NOT

Kaminari Denki: LMFAO YOU ABSOTLEUYL ARE

You: FUCK U

Kaminari Denki: 😘

You: hold on. hold onnnnnn.

You: how’d u get this number ??

You: pls don’t tell me my number is leaked

Kaminari Denki: nahhh it’s not leaked

____

You have to breathe a sigh of relief at that. It’s not like you’re an important public figure or anything, but the thought of anyone having access to your phone number sends shivers down your spine. You already get enough spam calls.

____

Kaminari Denki: i got ur number cuz…

Kaminari Denki: idol perks

You: you just asked my coworker, didn’t you

Kaminari Denki: yup

You: sigh…

Kaminari Denki: they told me that if i hurt you

Kaminari Denki: they’d murder me

You: gsjfdkheng3oaejk….

You: just give me a moment to scream

Kaminari Denki: …

You: ok im bck

Kaminari Denki: LOL dude ur good dw abt it 😭

Kaminari Denki: i thought it was kinda cute actually

You: unfortunately, they were dead fucking serious… they could kill a bitch

You: i wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve already killed someone, actually…

Kaminari Denki: well that’s comforting

You: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You: also, congrats on the award !

Kaminari Denki: thx

Kaminari Denki: does this mean you’ll listen to my music now?

You: maybe

Kaminari Denki: hmph :/

You: why?

Kaminari Denki: why what?

You: idk. why do you care? it’s not like my listening will give you any money

Kaminari Denki: …

Kaminari Denki: cause ur cute and i like you?

You: what

Kaminari Denki: wha

You: what

Kaminari Denki: wha

You:

Kaminari Denki: welp i’m just gonna go then 🏃🏃🏃

You: no waittt

You: sorry, you just surprised me

Kaminari Denki: no one’s ever said that to you before?

You: well, i mean, yeah, but…

Kaminari Denki: who. when. where. why.

You: plssss

You: what album should i start on then

Kaminari Denki: lightning

You: oki

Kaminari Denki: tell me how u like it after ;0

You: okiii

You: alr i’m gonna go to bed

Kaminari Denki: gn (´｡• ω •｡`)

____

Kaminari: it’s been a week are you alive

____

You grimace at the notification displayed on your lock screen. Admittedly, you hadn’t meant to ignore him- time just slipped away from you. Guilt stews in your chest all the same.

____

You: no i’m definitely not

Kaminari: sooo what’d ya think

You: oh SHIT that’s what i forgot to do

You: im so sorryyyyy the agency has been running me ragged 🙏

Kaminari: don’t apologize for doing ur job,, lol

Kaminari: what are they having you do?

You: whaleeee

You: before, i was more of a local reporter

You: but since the awards, i’ve actually been interviewing other celebrities and stuff

Kaminari: oh

You: it’s weird, tbh

Kaminari: ya a lot of music folks are pretty weird

You: says you

Kaminari: oi! i’m not weird 😡

You: im jk lolll

Kaminari: you know for a reporter you have awful grammar

You: well fck u2 then

Kaminari: :P

You: people keep recognizing me now,,, it’s weird

You: like literally a girl came up to me yesterday and was like “you interviewed kaminari!!”

Kaminari: oh shit lol

You: right?

You: other than that, i’ve been good

You: hbu? you’ve probably been busy

Kaminari: nah, not that much. just writing new music.

You: oh cool

You: speaking of music

You: i really liked your album

Kaminari: rly? u listened to it?

You: ofc i did!!!! it was cool

Kaminari Denki: what was ur fave song :P

You: probably shockwave!

You: it was very heartfelt

Kaminari: yeah… i wrote that one in the midst of a breakup

You: awe :(

You: at least it made a great song, haha

Kaminari Denki: yeah, that’s a good way to think about it actually

You: 😌

Kaminari Denki: so what other music do you listen to, then?

Kaminari Denki: besides mine, obviously

You: i listen to sero’s music sometimes

Kaminari Denki: skljehgeiroljhngejlrkshg

You: have you heard of him?

Kaminari Denki: …

Kaminari Denki: yes

You:

Kaminari Denki:

You:

You: r u good?

You: u got rly weird all of a sudden

Kaminari Denki: one sec, i need to kill a bitch

You: wut

____

Direct Message

Kaminari: SERO I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU

Sero Brain Cells: I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO RIP YOUR POSTER

Sero Brain Cells: IT WAS AN ACCIDENTTTTTT

Kaminari: what

Sero Brain Cells: what

Kaminari: what poster.

Sero Brain Cells: ohshit💀

Kaminari: sero. what poster.

Sero Brain Cells: ur limited edition one….? ha…… ha……

Kaminari: wow i am literally going to kill you twice

Sero Brain Cells: NO PLS SPARE ME

Kaminari: and to think that wasn’t even what i was going to talk to you about

Kaminari: damn

Kaminari: ok. focus, kaminari.

Sero Brain Cells: i swear i’ll make it up to you bro

Kaminari: you will?

Sero Brain Cells: yes just ask for a favor. any favor and i’ll do it

Kaminari: perfect. stop making music forever.

Sero Brain Cells: okay

Kaminari: nice

Sero Brain Cells: great

Kaminari: perfect

Sero Brain Cells: wait WHAT THE FUCK

Kaminari: u heard me hoe

Sero Brain Cells: wtf crawled up ur ass dude

Kaminari: i asked my friend what kind of music he listens to and he said yours

Sero Brain Cells: holy shit ur talking to that reporter?

Kaminari: HOW IN THE HELL

Kaminari: LITERALLY HOW DID YOU KNOW

Sero Brain Cells: lmfaooo

Sero Brain Cells: kami, i know all of ur other friends. bc they’re also my friends.

Kaminari: sighhhhh

Sero Brain Cells: anyway. he listens to my music?

Kaminari: -_-

Sero Brain Cells: that’s cool tbh

Kaminari: -_-

Sero Brain Cells: give him my number, will u?

Kaminari: i despise you

Kaminari: why are we friends

Sero Brain Cells: because i’m sexy and hot and funny?

Kaminari:

Sero: <3 ?

Kaminari: … <3

Sero Brain Cells: and bc i make good music? ;)

Kaminari is offline.

Sero Brain Cells: damn 💀

____

Direct Message

You: u good, dude…? it's been a few days…

Kaminari Denki: definitely… dude.

You: don’t kill sero, pls? I like his music :$

Kaminari Denki: oof

You: i’m messing with you

You: although i do actually like his music a lot

Kaminari Denki: staHp

You: but i like ur music more ;)

Kaminari Denki: DSNJKGLJSNJGFKSGJLS

____

Direct Message

Kaminari Denki: oh!! also!!! i completely forgot- u left ur placard on the red carpet the other day

You: oh FUCKKKKKK MEEEEE

Kaminari Denki: i mean if you insist

You:

Kaminari Denki:

You:

Kaminari Denki: [placard.jpg]

[placard.jpg]: A picture of the ever-familiar placard that you had at the red carpet. The back is filled with your rampant scribblings and notes. It’s hardly legible once you really look at it. Upon closer investigation, there’s a note in glittery gold ink at the bottom with a cute doodle of a Pikachu. Evidently, that was Kaminari’s doing.  

You: AKSJHGSDJSHJKHJS THANK YOU FOR SAVING IT

You: omfg that would’ve been so bad if someone else had gotten ahold of it…

Kaminari Denki: yeah some of these notes are hilarious, dude

Kaminari Denki: “Don’t ask Ground Zero anything. Ever.”

You: NOOOOOO you weren’t supposed to see that

Kaminari Denki: “Don’t ask Shoto about his father,” is a rly good one actually

You: oh goddddd pls spare me

Kaminari Denki: dude it’s okay calm down

Kaminari Denki: do u want it back

You: yeah ig

You: wouldn’t want to leak industry secrets 🙄

You: since u have it… can u just mail it to me

Kaminari Denki: don’t have ur address

You: well i’ll just give it to you then, dude

Kaminari Denki: i don’t have postal

You: wut 😶

____

Direct Message

Kaminari: DUDE HELP MEEEEE

Kaminari: SOS SOS SO FUCKING S

Sero Brain Cells: what’d u do this time

Kaminari: so yk how the cuteass reporter dropped his placard and i picked it up

Sero Brain Cells: u did??? dawg ur whipped 💀

Kaminari: THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT

Kaminari: but anyway i texted him abt it today and he said i could just mail it to him

Kaminari: but!! i was hoping to see him again and obv i didn’t want that to happen

Sero Brain Cells: and????

Kaminari: and… [textconvo.screenshot]

Sero Brain Cells: oh i know you did nottttt

Kaminari: I PANICKED AND SAID I DIDN’T HAVE POSTAL

Sero Brain Cells: yeah,,,, i can see that…..

Kaminari: I'M SO DONE

Sero Brain Cells: dude no ur not

Kaminari: wut

Sero Brain Cells: this is ur chance!!!!!! u can get him to hang out w u by offering to give him the placard thingy

Kaminari: have i ever told u that ur a genius

Sero Brain Cells: not enough, evidently

Kaminari: WELL UR A GENIUS

Kaminari is offline.

Sero Brain Cells: well, ty

____

Direct Message

Kaminari Denki: oi i have an idea

You: what’s up

Kaminari Denki: abt the placard

You: yes?

Kaminari Denki: ur agency’s near that one cafe right

You: espressobeanz? yes

Kaminari Denki: i can meet u there tmrw

You: um what

Kaminari Denki: ?

You:

Kaminari Denki:

You: wait what

Kaminari Denki: what?

You: idk, just… don’t you have more important things to do

Kaminari Denki: not rly

You: ok…

Kaminari Denki: plus i wanna hang out :(

You: ohhhh oki

You: wait holup holdup

You: the cafe is kinda public… r u gonna be ok

Kaminari Denki: why wouldn’t i be

You: idk don’t you get mobbed in public whenever people recognize you

Kaminari Denki: i mean yeah but it’s fine

You: u sure?

Kaminari Denki: yep!

You: okiii sounds like a plan then

Kaminari Denki: cool

You: i get off work at 3pm so let’s just meet then?

Kaminari Denki: 👍

____

Direct Message

Kaminari: omfg sero ur forgiven for ripping my poster

Sero Brain Cells: HOORAY

Kaminari: im meeting w him tomorrow Ψ(`_´ # )↝

Sero Brain Cells: niiiiice!!

Kaminari: i'm so scared

Sero Brain Cells: what why

Kaminari: i'm scaredddd

Sero Brain Cells: okay okay don’t freak out

Sero Brain Cells: have you picked out an outfit?

Kaminari: nope

Sero Brain Cells: okay so here’s what we’ll do. I’ll meet u at ur place tn and i’ll help u pick out something to wear

Kaminari: and i’ll order food

Sero Brain Cells: YES NOW U GET IT

____

You throw your phone on the couch and bury your head in your hands. Your heart is racing at the thought of seeing Kaminari again. You have to pause and take a deep breath to calm yourself down. Thankfully, you have the rest of today to spend freaking about and picking out ten different outfits that you’ll never wear.

As for right now, though… It’s time to distract yourself. You pull up a Youtube video and resolutely pretend not to think about your date tomorrow.  

____

chapter 3

____

thx for reading <33333

tagging: @tejas-kris​ and @felmierr​ :0 

[dysco-lymonade]

Smut ask: your take on penis wings please! Jk. First time Clexa uses a glass toy?

Dear god not the 🍆 🪽

Don’t bring that shit over here! 😂

Anyways, moving on to the ass glass.

Unedited nonsense involving anal so like, read at your own risk, aight? And go easy on me this is a first for me to write 😂

It’s Clexa’s one year anniversary and Raven sent Clarke off with a little black gift bag, and told her she and Lexa had to open it together.

“It’s from Raven, I’m afraid to open it.” Clarke deadpans as she enters Lexa’s apartment.

Lexa just rolls her eyes and takes the bag from Clarke, reaching inside and unsure what she’s feeling in her hand as she’s removing the item.

She bursts out laughing when she sees the small glass butt plug. It’s rainbow marbled in color with a bright red heart on the end.

“I’m going to fucking kill her.” Clarke reaches for the plug to toss it back in the bag.

Lexa, still laughing, spins away from her girlfriend. “Now wait a minute,” she turns a bit more serious, bites her lip, and gives Clarke a little smirk. “I could be into it.”

Clarke’s ears perk up at this. They’ve yet to explore this territory.

-

After a bath filled with wandering hands and half a bottle of wine, they stumble into the bedroom.

“You sure, baby? We can forget we even have this thing.” Clarke checks in one more time.

“I trust you.” Lexa reaches into the nightstand for the little bottle of flavored lube they keep handy, and tosses it onto the bed next to the glass plug.

And with that, they fall into the bed in a tangle of limbs, bath towels forgotten.

They’re so worked up from their time in the bathtub that Clarke gets straight to work with her tongue between Lexa’s legs.

“Turn over for me, gorgeous.” Clarke gives a light slap to the side of Lexa’s thigh.

Lexa wastes no time in rolling over onto her stomach. Clarke sits back on her haunches and grasps Lexa firmly by the hips, hoisting her up onto her knees.

It pulls a cute little squeal out of Lexa when Clarke gives a couple of light smacks to her ass and a murmured, “Good girl.”

Clarke starts off by fingering Lexa’s pussy, slow and deep, working her into a writhing mess bent in front of her. She’s pushed herself up onto her forearms, and looks over her shoulder to tell Clarke she’s ready.

Without missing a beat, Clarke grabs the lube, flicks the cap open, and let’s a small stream fall right where they need it. She sends Lexa a teasing grin after she yelps at the cold and proceeds to warm the lube up while gently running her fingers around the tight ring.

Clarke slowly pulls her fingers from Lexa’s pussy, and starts to press one finger just slightly inside of Lexa’s ass, letting the lubricant in.

“Try to relax, cutie.” Clarke gently massages Lexa’s ass cheeks as she slowly works her finger little by little deeper inside. “You’re doing really well, baby.”

“Fuck.” Lexa gasps out once Clarke’s finger is pushed all the way in. “God, Clarke. I didn’t know it would feel like this.”

“Ready for a little more?” Clarke runs her hand up Lexa’s spine, and brings her nails back down, scratching just hard enough for a few faint red scratches to appear on Lexa’s flushed skin.

Lexa pushes her hips back into Clarke in response and breathes a sigh when she feels Clarke start to pull her finger out, just slightly, and push it back in. While she’s slowly fucking into Lexa’s ass, Clarke pours lube onto the plug with her free hand, duvet cover be damned.

She warms the plug in her hand, rolling it around to make sure it’s nice and lubed up.

Lexa has relaxed enough that Clarke’s not feeling much resistance anymore.

“You ready, babe?” Clarke brings the plug up so the top is ready to push in when she removes her fingers.

Lexa nods frantically and moans out an affirmative, not quite able to form words.

Clarke makes the switch and Lexa takes it like a seasoned champ. The plug, just a bit thicker than Clarke’s finger, slides in with little resistance. Clarke pushes it in slowly, eyes constantly watching Lexa for any signs of discomfort.

“Fuck, Lex, you are so goddamn sexy.” The plug is all the way in, and Clarke has to take a moment to appreciate the sight of her girlfriend looking so goddamn pleased with herself as she gives her ass a little wiggle when she looks back at Clarke.

“Is it a look? Should we send Raven a picture?” Lexa, the little shit, teases and Clarke practically growls at the thought of sharing this sight with anyone else.

“Oh it’s a look. And I’ll take a picture for you to see. But first, I owe you an orgasm.”

Clarke stands from the bed and swiftly pulls Lexa down to the edge, earning herself an excited squeak from her girl. Still on all fours, Lexa pushes her knees apart wider, bringing her pelvis down closer to the bed, and opening up beautifully for Clarke to devour from behind.

[munsons-mutiny]

Okay hear me out, we know the blood protection on Harry was real because Quirrel burned in Sorcerer’s Stone right? But we also know this was overcome in Goblet of Fire when he took Harry’s blood to resurrect himself. From that moment on did the blood protection even have an effect? Like Voldemort could’ve and almost did kill him in the graveyard that night. So what protection was it really offering??

More importantly all the times we did see it work, were while Harry was at school far away from Petunia and any other possible blood relative. So what the hell was the point of Harry returning to the Dursleys every summer and being treated like trash??? I’m not convinced the blood protection offered anything substantial past Goblet of Fire, or that Petunia being close to him was ever a prerequisite for it. Especially since the whole the protection breaks when he comes of age thing is weak at best, and logically unsound at worst.

So what if it the protection really was useless past Goblet of Fire and Dumbledore sent Harry back to the Dursleys as a control move. Harry had to be malleable and thankful towards Dumbledore, reminding him what Dumbledore and Hogwarts saved him from is a sure fire way to accomplish that. In fact Dumbledore is the only one who seemed to benefit from the Dursley’s and Harry’s continued association. It certainly wasn’t beneficial for the Dursley’s who ended up in witness protection (should’ve been prison but here we are) and had their son attacked by dementors. But Dumbledore begged.

Heck I think we all know in Prisoner of Azkaban that Dumbledore could’ve saved Sirius if he wanted to, could’ve used penisieve, or versuitium, with his numerous ministry contacts to fix the situation.

Yet he didn’t. He let Sirus be a fugitive, and then even kept him under house arrest and isolated him from Harry. All while using how thankful they were towards him to keep them following his orders.

This all applies to Lupin as well, who should’ve been next in line to take Harry once Sirus was in prison. But after running missions for the order that fractured his relationship with his best friends because he couldn’t tell them anything. After sacrificing everything he had to do what Dumbledore asked of him. He was sent on his way to figure it out for himself. He was poor and unable to find employment, and Dumbledore didn’t care until he needed him to teach at Hogwarts. And really only needed him to do so as another pawn against Sirus due to their past friendship (relationship fight me). Even when he ends up quitting he tells Harry it’s because Dumbledore has done enough for him. Like he’s still indebted to him for even allowing him to go to Hogwarts in the first place.

This got off topic and turned into generic Dumbledore bashing, but the point is Dumbledore is not above manipulating people with underhanded tactics, and people feeling they owe him is his favorite. He absolutely would’ve kept sending Harry back to the Dursleys despite the abuse simply because it kept Harry indebted to him. He would’ve minimized Sirus’ relationship with Harry and made sure that Harry couldn’t leave the Dursley’s for one reason or another. I think it may just all be another way Dumbledore moved everyone around like chess pieces, and is another way he could’ve been a giant piece of shit.

In summary fuck Dumbledore all my homies hate Dumbledore.

And JK too, that TERF would write a story glorifying Dumbledore and Sn*pe like they were anything other that flaming hot piles or garbage.

[aajjks]

mommy issues!JK

just as you’re beginning to feel much better, you’re once again smacked with the reality of your situation:

from xxx-xxx-5342

you motherfucker!!

you got that bitch pregnant?!!!! how could you!!

fuck you jungkook!

i fucking hate you

how could you do this to me

to us

I LOVE YOU!!

i carved your name in me for christ sake!

i’m sorry baby. i’ll treat you better

i love you

text me back

is it true?

is she really pregnant?

we’ll talk next week

“My-My mother saw you right?” asks jungkook with teary eyes. as promised, you tell your fiancé everything that happened between you and his mother. just mentioning the woman and her blatant disrespect towards you sours your whole mood and jungkook is even more embarrassed.

his mother called you a maid, a babysitter, and a, quote, “good for nothing housewife.”

you know you aren’t the perfect woman for jungkook and you’re familiar with his very rich background but you would never disrespect his mother the way she disrespected you. you welcomed her into jungkook’s apartment with open arms and remained friendly with when she called you names in front of seol who was too excited to see his grandmother after so long.

“she did see that i was pregnant but i don’t think she believes that we’re actually together. i mean, i think that envelope was an invitation to something. she didn’t want me to look at it. do you need me to cuss that bitch out because you know i will”

~🫧

He is so stressed out first your parents, and then your ex-boyfriend and then his ex-girlfriend and now his mother.

“Ahhhh sometimes I just want to kill myself. This bitch found out that you’re pregnant now she’s having a meltdown.” Jungkook rolls his eyes before showing you the flurry of texts he received

Was his beating not enough? 

“and what does she mean by we will talk next week?” he’s so fuming right now because his mother blatantly just disrespected you despite seeing that you’re in his house pregnant with his child.

You should’ve told him before, but he can’t blame you. You didn’t want him to think any less of his mother and he loves her a lot but how could she step into his home and insult you?

“Yn my baby I think I need to keep you safe and we really need to immediately move from here..” he sighs, she found out that means that everyone is going to find out, including that psychotic ex-boyfriend of yours,

He’s 100% sure that psycho is looking for you and the fact that he’s probably in contact with Nara. “you know what we have a whole fuckin day ahead of us let’s go and look at some houses.”

Jungkook doesn’t really wait for your response, but he gets up from the couch and brings the both of you your coats, “come on, put it on… we will take Seol too because I can’t leave him here right now.”

Step one: move to a new place.

Step two: go to his parents house and confront them, actually warn them to stay the fuck away from you and him forever.

last step: confront Nara right infront of her parents.

“you can read the fucking letter I don’t care I haven’t read it.” He picks up his keys from the counter and soon calls out for Seol to come to the living room.

What is in that letter anyways.

“Come on yn! I’ll call the estate agent now.”

You take seol’s hand and he locks the door as soon as you’re all out the house.

“Come on let’s catch the elevator.”

••••

It has been two hours since you have all been looking through houses and frankly Seol has grown bored Of this.. you and Jungkook looked through multiple houses together, and he hopes that you like one of them.

A lot of them were big like you have been planning, absolutely perfect for your growing family.

You’re still gonna be residing in Busan though.

Jungkook likes the house number six from your list. “Yn what do you think?” The estate agent is looking at you, and Jungkook as you hold seol’s hand.

“Mommy i wanna go home.”

[dangraccoon]

Oyuba’din - Chapter 13: Hostage

Summary: The Bad Batch executes a plan while on shore leave.

Warnings: drunkenness, bad decision time™, attempted “kidnapping” jk lmao but like sorta if you squint real hard and tilt your head a little

Author’s Note: drunk Hunter is the most ridiculous character I’ve ever written and I love him so much.

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“Jaine, you have to tell me who this fine specimen of a man is!” Sinya gushed, brushing a lek from her shoulder.

“Sinya!” Jaine hissed.

Argus put a hand up. “I’m right here,” she grumbled.

“Jainey, who’re them?” Hunter slurred, his brow furrowed. “They dun look like good comp’ny.”

“They’re my friends,” Jaine said through gritted teeth. I’m not drunk enough for this, she thought as she grabbed Hunter's arm and led him away from the table.

“Hey, no need to be s’pushy,” he protested.

“Hunter, I’m going to ask you this one time and one time only,” she steamed. “What the hell is wrong with you? You interrupt my night out with my friends who you immediately insulted, you’re absolutely wasted-”

Hunter shushed her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders in a tight hug. “‘Ts okay, Jainey. Wer gonna get ya back to the barracks when m’brothers find me.”

“Hunter,” she growled. “Let go of me!”

She struggled against him, but it was no use as he lifted her up over his shoulder, her dress riding up uncomfortably.

“‘Mon, Jainey. Back to th’ barracks.”

“Hunter, I swear to the gods above and below if you don’t put me down right this instant!” she shouted, slamming her hands against his back.

“Oh, maker,” Echo groaned as Hunter approached him with a fuming medic over his shoulder.

“‘Mon, Ech, wer goin’ home,” he smiled, ignoring the squirming Jaine on his shoulder.

“Kriff, are you okay, Jainey?” Echo asked.

“Echo, get me down from here!”

Echo tried, but Hunter was stronger than him. He fought against the poor woman being removed from his back, ultimately shaking Echo off entirely, and sprinting out of the back door into a small alley.

“Hunter, I’m going to fucking kill you!” she raged.

The door came crashing open, the rest of the Bad Batch came pouring out, taking in the sight before them.

“Bad Batch,” Tech whispered loudly to them. “R&R Plan 7A; the Hostage.”

The rest of the Batch nodded, moving quickly, Crosshair walking over to simply talk to Hunter about anything other than Jaine, while Echo and Wrecker worked on extracting her from his arms. Tech, well, he’d make sure Jaine was alright after, and likely help Crosshair restrain Hunter, but for now, and since Hunter had approached Jaine’s table, he was recording.

“Hunter, remember how you used to tell us the legend you heard about the aiwhas? How’d that go again?” Crosshair asked.

Hunter’s eyes sparkled as he began to tell Crosshair for probably the two hundredth time in their lives about the aiwhas on Kamino.

As he spoke, he used his hands to mimic the motion of the creatures, and so his tight grip on Jaine began to loosen.

Echo and Wrecker nodded at each other, a silent countdown until they’d yank Jaine away from Hunter.

“Hang on, Jainey,” Wrecker whispered. “Might get a little bumpy.”

A moment later Echo grabbed onto Hunter and Wrecker pulled Jaine away, and Crosshair immediately twisted Hunter’s arm behind his back.

“Easy, brother,” Crosshair soothed. “I think it’s time we got you to bed.”

Wrecker placed Jaine back on the ground and she smoothed her dress out, yanking it back down as far as it would go.

“Are you alright?” Tech asked nervously, appearing at her side.

Jaine didn’t reply. She was seething.

“Hunter, don’t you have something you think you should say to Jaine?” Echo prodded as Crosshair faced the sergeant in her direction.

Jaine’s glare at the concrete didn’t rise to meet his pouty-looking face.

“‘M sorry, Jainey,” he whined, but it was obvious that he was beginning to lose consciousness, starting to slump forward in Crosshair’s grip.

“We’ll get a taxi,” Tech sighed, giving a quick nod to Jaine, and pulling the rest of his brothers with him.

Echo, however, remained still. His eyes were on her, despite the fact that she was glaring holes into the pavement in front of her.

“Jaine?” he asked, cautiously. “Are you okay?”

Jaine could feel the moment her anger broke.

“Am I okay? Are you serious, Echo?” she seethed.

“I’m sorry. When he drinks it’s hard to predict how drunk he’ll actually get. One minute he’s fine, the next-”

“He’s kidnapping women who are already pissed at him and dragging them away against their will?” she snapped. “I mean really, I leave you all alone for one night and you’re out getting drunk and going banthashit insane? What if I wasn’t there, huh?”

“I know.”

“What if he’d picked up someone else and began to carry them away?”

“I know.”

“Kriffing hells, Echo. He could be decommissioned for that! All of you could!”

“I know, Jaine!” Echo burst. “I know, but like I said he changes from minute to minute and I know that it’s not an excuse, but we’re all at least a little buzzed and not on top of our game. I was supposed to be babysitting him, but I let him get away from me, okay? So, if you’re going to be mad at anyone now, be mad at me, because I don’t think Hunter can take anymore of it!”

Jaine stood in a stunned silence. It took a lot to make Echo snap like that, but Hunter can’t take more of her anger? Cool, calm, collected Hunter?

“Echo,” she mumbled. “What are you talking about?”

“He blames himself for you leaving-”

“Maybe he should,” Jaine bristled.

“He knows he hurt you and he feels terrible,” Echo explained, leaving out how Hunter was literally crying, for his sake.

Jaine took a deep breath. “Echo, I know he’s your brother and you’re just trying to help, but if Hunter is the one that’s sorry, Hunter is the one who should apologize.”

“I know, but I’m sorry, too,” Echo mumbled sadly.

“What?”

“It’s just - well, everything happened after that nightmare and I guess I feel like maybe all of it’s my fault.”

Jaine’s irritation started to cool, her eyes watching the ARC trooper carefully.

“If I didn’t have that nightmare, if I didn’t make you stay with me, Hunter wouldn’t have gotten upset and you wouldn’t be leaving.”

“Echo-”

“Echo, ya comin’?” Wrecker bellowed, rounding the corner. He noticed Jaine was still there and smiled. “Need a ride, Jainey?”

“Thanks, Wrecker,” she smiled, jumping in before Echo could continue. “But I’m going to head back in with my friends. Have a good night, Wreck.”

As she turned to leave, she placed a hand on the right side of Echo’s chest. “Goodnight, Echo.”

He watched her walk back into the bar, frozen to the spot. He could almost feel the warmth of her palm against his chest, and felt the heat of it run straight to his cheeks. The placement of her hand just then reminded him of his old ARC armor. Thoughts of his captain, and ultimately his twin, flooded his brain, the three of them swirling around in a hurricane of affection.

“Echo?” Wrecker called again, breaking him from his own head.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”

-

“Jaine! There you are!” Sinya shouted across the club, clearly leaving poor Argus hanging for a kiss. “Hey, where’d your boyfriend go?”

“Again, not my boyfriend, Sinya,” she said, rolling her eyes as she plopped down into the booth.

“Oh, why not? He’s so hot,” Sinya whined.

“Still here,” Argus groaned, feigning offense.

“Oh, it’s okay, honey, you have very similar faces,” Sinya giggled with a wink, earning more eye rolls. “Anyway, Jaine, you have to grab that man up, before someone else does.”

“Gods, Sinya,” Jaine growled. “For the last time, I’m not grabbing anyone up! They were my squad and I can’t be interested in any of them.”

Sinya looked at her, her eyes a little hurt by the tone, but nodded, becoming uncharacteristically quiet. Argus scowled at her.

“I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

Sinya smiled a little and shrugged. “I shouldn’t have pushed your buttons like that.”

The women looked at each other for a moment before wrapping each other in a tight hug.

“Aww, you know I can’t stay mad at you,” Sinya smiled.

“I will never understand your relationship,” Argus laughed, shaking his head.

-

When Hunter woke up, he was amazed at just how shitty he felt. Of course, he had gotten drunk before, he’d even been plastered a few times, but this morning-after felt worse.

“Oh, good, you’re still alive,” a monotone voice said with an obvious edge of irritation mixed in it. Hunter almost didn’t recognize the voice, it was so icy.

He started to open his eyes, the harsh lights of their barracks on Coruscant hitting his overly sensitive eyes. “Jaine?” he asked.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

Thanks for reading! - Dang

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[whyse7vn]

BLOOD SISTERS -

[ot7 x reader]

3D?????????

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: i heard vogue paid jungkook in cheese

namjoon: what?

jk: yes

namjoon: WHAT???

jimin: you did a shoot for vogue and got paid in cheese?????

yoongi: is that legal?

tae: are u a rat?

jin: i know a rat…

tae: YOU SHUT UR MOUTH

jk: i like cheese

y/n: put his vouge money in a savings account don’t worry

jimin: you robbed jungkook???

y/n: can you read??

it’s in a savings account

jimin: ur savings account?

y/n: no

jk: i got cheese

y/n: i gave him the cheese

namjoon: jungkook are you ok with her doing that?

jk: yes

i got cheese

y/n: SEE HES OK WITH IT STOP TRYING TO MAKE THE VILLAN HERE!

hobi: why did you do that tho?

y/n: are we forgetting that jungkook literally spent like 500k on a framed picture of the avengers

tae: that picture was cool asf who was the artist?

jk: google

tae: what?

jk: google

tae: oh

y/n: see

yoongi: yikes

jimin: was the cheese good?

jk: yes

i miss it

wish i could have more

🥺

y/n: i am not giving you more cheese

jin: didn’t he say he was lactose intolerant?

jk: i’m so upset rn

hobi: anyway ur vogue pictures were cool

jk: ok

can i have cheese

y/n: say thank you to hobi

jk: thank u to hobi

yoongi: is he high?

y/n: extremely

tae: WITHOUT ME?????

FAKE LOVE FAKE WORLD

jin: playing with my clit rn

y/n: what the actual fuck

namjoon: what possessed you to say that

jk: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JIN A GIRL???????????????

jin: was that not relatable to you y/n?

don’t you feel comfortable?

y/n: no wtf???

i’m extremely uncomfortable rn

jin: ok kill yourself then

read a weverse comment that said you probably feel so uncomfortable and can’t relate to anyone cuz ur surrounded by men all the time

tried to help you

that is the last nice thing i do for you

jimin: wow i never thought about that

let’s all see how far we can squirt guys come on for y/n ❤️

yoongi: can you stop

jk: i’m gonna win

y/n: u all make me want to throw up

tae: no cuz let’s have a period together #bloodsisters

namjoon: that is not how it works

hobi: i’m bleeding real bad rn >.<

jimin: super slay!!!

yoongi: super slay?

tae: slay my pussy ong

y/n: ENOUGH

tae: i love being a woman

jk: i want to seduce the king

jin: you can’t

i’m not into u at all

jk: ur no king of mine

tae: jungkook can you come over please i’m lonely

jimin: is this how you text your hoes?

tae: no only my bros 🫶🏻🥺

jk: i can’t tae :(

tae: why wtf

jk: too much cheese

tae: ?

jk: i can’t move

yoongi: pretty sure that’s the weed

jin: or maybe he’s shitting himself

cheese does that

not speaking from experience btw

jk: no

y/n: so how is everyone today?

jimin: don’t talk to me

tae: i’m still bleeding

jk: sometimes i imagine i’m a tiny little elf that works in the back of a coal mine just mining away but the coal mine is actually yoongi’s head an i’m inside it mining him new knowledge he can learn and after i mine the knowledge i give it to the other elves and they give it to the brain

hobi: are tiny and little not the same thing you did not need to use both those words

jk: soz

yoongi: why me

leave me alone

namjoon: i could be better tbh y/n

jimin: can we talk about how jungkooks new song

jk: do you like it?

namjoon: it’s not out yet

jk: do you like it?

namjoon: it is not out yet jungkook

jk: is it good?

jin: ur a slut

dare i say whore

jk: don’t dare

y/n: double dare

tae: i double dare you to come to my house

jk: :0

jin: like guys do you understand like jungook is a whore

A WHORE

yoongi: ok

jin: I CANT TAKE IT LIKE YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT IN 3D???

WHAT IN MOTION???

UR SICK UR NOT RIGHT AT ALL

STOP IT

STOP IT NOW

y/n: it’s okay

jin: ITS NOT

jk: who is 3d

tae: the jack harlow feature is crazy tho

yoongi: it’s really not

stop putting white men the world doesn’t care about anymore on your songs

hobi: spilled

jk: i’m not white

do people think i’m white

do they not care for me due to my whiteness

am i white?

??????????

oh my god i’m white

namjoon: you are not white

jk: namjoon said i’m not white

tae: namjoon is your white father

jk: OHMYGOD

jimin: what inspired 3d jungkook?

jk: y/n 🥰💜💗💗🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

y/n: ????????????????????

jimin: LMAOAOSOOOOOOOOOOO

hobi: oh wow

yoongi: what

namjoon: okay!

jin: IM GONNA KILL MYSELF UR SICK

tae: wow i didn’t know you got down like that kookie

#respect

yoongi: did you just say #respect

tae: yeah?

u wish you could right a sex song about my amazing beautiful girl like jungkook did

fucking mad loser bitch

hobi: *write

tae: wait

??

something is not right there

🤨

idk what it is

but i know it’s not right

hobi: maybe it’s because you used rigjt instead of write

tae: maybe

namjoon: ur so fucking stupid it hurts

tae: or maybe not

jk: what is going on

jin: THATS WHAT IM SAYING

YOUVE CHANGED JK YOUVE CHANGED AND I FEAR ITS FOR THE WORST

jk: i was talking about the aliens

idk what ur saying to me right now

y/n: WHY IS IT ABOUT ME??

hobi: clearly he kisses and tells

y/n: THERE IS NOTHING TO TELL

yoongi: clearly there is

wrote a whole song about it

jimin: at least you know you got good pussy!!

tae: me 2!

namjoon: can we not

tae: we can

im in my girl era

feminism in my boobs blood in my vagina

hobi: you take things too far..

tae: ok but it’s natural??

fucking men man i can’t do this y/n are you with me baby

y/n: stop talking for 5 minutes omg

tae: okay!

jk: do the aliens have drivers licenses

jimin: when’s the last time you fucked be honest

namjoon: why are you so invested in her sex life it’s real concerning

jimin: cuz it’s interesting????

like live a little joon jeez

y/n: WE HAVENT FUCKED IN LIKE

yoongi: like?

hobi: like

jin: you turned him into a whore i know it was you

jimin: see mr kim namjoon

interesting

namjoon: ur just starting unwanted issues

jimin: IN LIKE???

come on spit it out we don’t have all day

y/n: i don’t have to answer that

yoongi: shocker

y/n: excuse me??

jimin: YIKESSSSSSSSSSSS

hobi: i can’t look

tae: wait she’s fr fucking jungkook no joke this is fr?

thought this was a joke the whole time

are we all on the same page rn???

jk: i think if we think about it we are the aliens to the aliens so if you think about it do we have drivers licenses?

namjoon: it’s like we run in circles every single day

yoongi: nothing

just know why you’ve been ignoring me for the last month now lol

hobi: he added the lol

wow he’s pissed

jimin: INSANE

jin: YOUVE BEEN FUCKING JUNGKOOK THIS WHOLE MONTH UR NASTY LEAVE HIM ALONE LEAVE HIMMM

namjoon: i’m going to shoot you all

y/n: so it’s clearly not “nothing” yoongi

and in the gc are you fr?

yoongi: whatever

y/n: and i haven’t been ignoring you i’m talking you right now aren’t i?

yoongi: this is different

jimin: he’s basically saying you haven’t been fucking with him for a whole month cuz ur too busy with jungkook

hobi: maybe he’s having withdrawals

namjoon: i think she gets it

tae: can i fuck pls

y/n: ur being really childish rn yoongi

yoongi: that’s crazy cuz that’s how you like your men no?

hobi: WOWWWW

jimin: JUNGKOOK SHADE

jk: hiiiiii 🫶🏻🔥

y/n: and not that i need to tell you but i haven’t slept with ANYONE for like 2 months

i’ve been really busy filming and shit

fucking asshole

yoongi: oh

jin: wait no sex for 2 months that’s kinda insane icl 😭

jimin: YOONGI FUCKED UPPP TEAAA

hobi: pussywhipped 💀

tae: CAN I FUCK PLEASE

namjoon: enough sex talk please

before i grab a gun

tae: what type

ak?

glock?

shotgun???

yoongi: y/n

jk: why are we fighting??????

jin: don’t worry son

jk: papa 🥺

jin: no sorry i can’t actually claim you i’m over you being a whore i just remembered how fucking annoying you are yikes

am i the high one??

wow wtf was i stressing over

yoongi: y/n

jimin: me when i fuck up

hobi: yoongi the sad ant with the stick rn

jimin: HELPJSJDJDJXJ YOU RIGHT

“y/n….”

hobi: HEHEHEHEHE

*single tear rolls down cheek*

jimin: *screen fades to black*

hobi: LMAOOOOOO

jimin: STOPWOWOSOSSK

namjoon: guys

y/n: anyways

jimin: no because i stand with you feminist till i die

hobi: i’m such a feminist i enjoy looking at wonho as much as cows eat grass

and that’s like all the time

right?

jimin: right!!!!

jk: where is my papa

jin: ew

he’s so gross guys

y/n: don’t be mean he’s just under the influence!!

jin: of what? meth?

people high off weed are not freaks like him i’m telling you he does that hardcore shit just like joon

jk: papa joon

namjoon: stop

tae: i stabbed myself with a fork

pain is temporary

i needed it ❤️

namjoon: i need it

jin: ???

yoongi: i’m sorry

y/n: k

jimin: wow this is not awkward at all!

jk: i’m throwing up

jin: this is the 4th time this week

jk: papa

namjoon: how is he still alive

hobi: y/n feminist to feminist rn i say fuck yoongi and like come kiss me

yoongi: can you shut the fuck up

jk: i love you yoongi

yoongi: go away

jimin: can you guys not be boyfriends inlaw or something

yoongi: i’m going to punch you

jimin: ok i am going to stop talking now!

—

bonus: