#i'm just really emotional over the fact that he's still here to find this joy

[fiona-fififi]

Can't stop thinking about the fact that Buck nearly died last season never having found this monumental piece of himself.

Just. the absolute joy that exists in the very fact that he gets to have this. and he gets to learn about himself in all of these new ways. and he gets to experience the joy and the freedom that comes with this discovery.

Evan Buckley almost died never having found this piece of himself, but the people who love him most brought him back, and now he gets to experience the joy of knowing himself in ways he'd never experienced before.

[celaenaeiln]

Ive been reading the older comics (1950s) of World’s Finest, and I just realised Batman is so smiley and full of expression while Superman kind of isn’t. Is there a reason for this change or is it just the authors and time changing haha

YES!! Yes to both but I have so much to say about this because it's not just about time changing, but the way real life changed is intertwined in the comics in their character growths.

Batman

Let's start with the grim avenger. Here's the thing - the grim avenger wasn't grim because he had Dick Grayson by his side and I'll explain how the medal ages and Bruce's happiness is connected to how close Dick was to Bruce and the relationship Dick had with Bruce influences his view later on of his father in comparison to how the rest of the batkids see Bruce.

As you said, Bruce was the happiest he's ever been in the 1950s. He and Dick had the time of their lives, sunshine, glory, joy, adventure - you name it and they had it all. This was the Golden Age.

Batman (1940) Issue #46

Detective Comics (1937) Issue #95

But as time passed, Dick eventually began to grow up. When the Teen Titans first formed, the Golden Age of comics transitioned into the Silver Age as Dick began to work more independently from Bruce but was still close. The Bronze Age was when Dick was on the cusp of leaving and then just left (1970s-1985s).

The reason I'm bringing this up as to why Bruce changed, it has to do with Dick. When Dick went off to college, Bruce actually shut the cave down and moved out of the manor with Alfred because he didn't know how to be Batman without Dick. He said he was going on a little soul-searching to find himself again.

Batman (1940) Issue #217

But real-life readers got really mad this and said, "Bruce was always a grim detective. When he was with Robin, he was too happy! We want to see him angry like he used to be!" So the writers realized that Bruce turning away from Batman was huge mistake so this set forth the grim avenger batman thing again.

Dick also feels the same way, that him moving to college was what changed the dynamics between them.

Secret Origins (1986) Issue #13

Granted Bruce is mad that Dick decided to drop out of college in favor of being Robin but it's also about the fact that Bruce wouldn't have responded like this before. Something's changed. And overall it can be summed up to Bruce being angry, frustrated, upset, and lonely with Dick gone, those emotions compounding into a new or renegaded form of Batman, Dick coming back and realizing - he doesn't want to be controlled and he doesn't want to be this new darker version of Bruce. The change in idealisms were Dick is more light-hearted and Bruce is slowly becoming Darker weighs on Bruce too.

Bruce's pov of the situation -

Batman (1940) Issue #138

Dick's pov -

Secret Origins (1986) Issue #13

Dick didn't want to be like Batman, Bruce was already upset but Dick's gradual distance from who he was turning into combined with his frustration of himself - it led Bruce to become the person he is now, someone he doesn't like and it's this circling self-hatred of what he become that keeps him perpetually angry and moody.

It's so important to talk about this because it's not just a time change, it's actively part of the comics. It's part of who Bruce is and why he is this way now. To explain more on what I said and elaborate further on what you said about Bruce becoming less smile-y :

Batman (1940) Issue #359

He lashes out at Dick, feels bad about it, and grumps over how he can't trust anyone in the world and this just keeps continuing over the years.

Tim and Dick actually talk about this too, the idea that Bruce was different with Dick then he was later on. Going on a slight tangent here but during one time in Gotham Knights Dick gets "dismayed" at Tim because Tim questions Bruce's morality and Dick's like "How dare you! He's a good person, he's amazing." And Tim's just like "No, he's not??"

Batman: Gotham Knights Issue #26

Dick grouches about this with Barbara and she tells him -

Batman: Gotham Knights Issue #26

slayy

Again what she says "First of all, the Bruce who raised you and the Bruce who works with Tim are not exactly the same man. Tim has had a very different experience, and is likely to have very different thoughts and beliefs."

Tim says it too in Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying when he's comparing Dick and Jason's Robin eras -

Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying

And Dick talks about it again with Checkmate in the Checkmate (2006) comic about how he used to make Bruce laugh. He's quiet for a moment and then they talk somberly about how Bruce never laughs anymore.

So to sum it all up, the reason Bruce changed was because Dick drifted apart from him as he aged and he grew more independent, and Bruce as a result felt stifled and upset by this change and grew more independent too but in a darker way, and all these changes between Dick and him as well as within himself led to him being gloomier and grumpier. The authors also played a big part in acknowledging Bruce changing as a result of Dick leaving but also due to the readers' responses of having Batman return to his stern countenance of a time before Dick came along. Hence the decreasing medal ages that went from a happy Bruce Wayne to the sad and waspish one we know now. But maybe it also has to do with the fact that Bruce and Dick stopped getting to ride the backs of dinosaurs, fight pirates, and play prince and the pauper with real princes lol.

Superman

Clark is a very different story and I think it's because of how it's the reverse of Batman. In the beginning Clark was very - stern? He definitely wasn't smiling or laughing or fuzzy feelings but it wasn't the author's intention for him to be any of that. In the beginning, Superman was portrayed be a powerful and virtuous hero, fighting for truth, justice, and the American way. This portrayal was aimed at providing readers an uplifting and optimistic character during hard times because he was created in 1939 and it was the end of the Great Depression (1929 - 1939) and the beginning of WWII (1939 - 1945). The fact that it was the end of the great depression only made it worse because the depression only ended due to millions of men and women going off to fight war. So it was just VERY upsetting times and therefore Superman was a symbol of hope - for the war.

Superman (1939) Issue #12

Superman (1939) Issue #8

Superman (1939) Issue #34

But as soon as the war ended, you see a shift in the way Superman is written.

Superman (1939) Issue #36

Superman (1939) Issue #76

I guess it all comes down to this - Clark's writers were focused on his deeds. It was about solving problems and that's it. Whereas with Bruce, the focus was on solving problems but it was done through his relationships. He relied heavily on Dick as a partner and best friend and they were able to share their difficulties and have fun whereas Clark had no one, except Lois but in civilian identity. Because of this, it wasn't until later comics when writers started introducing new elements, exploring different aspects of his character, and adapting to the changing cultural and social contexts that these interpretations have included moments of joy, personal growth, and triumphs, as well as challenges, conflicts, and moments of introspection.

Superman: Heroes

It was both the ending of the war and gradually interacting with other characters that made his personality lighter and funner to read. You can even think about it this way - as Clark started to rely more on people, he started to open up and become more light hearted as the years passed but as Bruce began to distrust people and rely less on others, his personality grew darker and angrier. Bruce and Clark went through the same personality changes but Bruce started pretty early on with Dick and lost him leading to a downward turn in personality whereas Clark started with no one then gained Lois and Jimmy Olsen causing an upward trend. Two sides of a coin.

Moral of the story folks: learn to rely on others or end up like Batman.

[solar-wing]

⚣ Remember 🥷🏻

⚣🥷🏻A/N → This was a bit of a challenge for me for some reason. Maybe it's because we still don't know how exactly Jason died or what he was like when he was on the team so I had to go off what we know about Jason already. Plus, the fact that he doesn't have his memories really got my creative juices flowing. I did not proofread thus like the others cause I'm trying to focus on finishing my other fics. Also, here it is again for you @acoustickitten Anyways... WARNINGS: Emotion & Angst, Mentions of Death, NSFW warnings included on Patreon NSFW Version Here👈🏽

⚣🥷🏻Summary → When Jason died, your world fell apart. You and he had a special bond that you didn't share with anyone else on the team. So, when the chance to be reunited with him came as an invitation to Ra's Ah Ghul's island, you quickly took the chance to be with your old teammate, friend, and crush. Only you didn't expect to find him different than you remembered.

⚣🥷🏻Words → 4.2k

REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛

⚣ ENJOY 🥷🏻

You were so glad you hadn’t given up.

When your previous team appeared on Infinity Island to rescue their friends, the Red Hooded Ninja battled with Nightwing, your old leader and friend. Ra’s ordered you to stay out of sight, as he didn’t want your former teammates to know you were here yet. Your mission was too important for them and yourself. So, you watched from one of the windows as your friends fought with your League allies.

Back in 2013, you had been recruited to the team by the Justice League when they discovered you on the streets of your city fighting crime with your meta-abilities. You could see into and read people’s thoughts, much like Miss Martian. Except your powers seemed to be stronger, seeing that you had the ability to control and enter someone’s mind at will and manipulate their thoughts. Along with flight force-field manipulations, you were quite the adversary. So when Batman, Captain Marvel/Shazam, and Black Canary showed up one day to offer you the chance to use your powers in a team environment, you figured, why not?

You were alone, having lost your family at a young age, and your adoptive family wasn’t much better, seeing you and your abilities as freaky. They just wanted to get whatever money they could off of you. So you accepted their offer and took on the mantle of ‘Psicon.’ Besides, living in the Cave was awesome. The Team was way more welcoming, and you felt like a part of a family for the first time, growing a special relationship with one of the members, Jason Todd, aka Robin.

Both of you and Jason had similar backgrounds and connected from that. The team often joked that the saying was true opposites attracted because you two couldn’t be more different from each other. Strong in your own rights, you were reserved, while he was outgoing. You thought with a slow, calculative mind, and he was impulsive. You were no pushover, but you mostly kept your thoughts to yourself, whereas he was very outspoken.

But, you found joy in your differences with each other. You shared similar interests and grew a strong bond. Over time, your feelings became less platonic and more romantic, which your friends loved to tease you for. Dick, Kid Flash, aka Wally, and Artemis mainly, before the latter two left the team for college. 

You hadn’t known if Jason felt the same towards you, but Dick encouraged you since the two had a special relationship, both being Batman’s sidekicks and sharing the mantle of Robin. Not at the same time, of course. When Dick picked up the mantle of Nightwing, Jason had become the new Robin.

You were planning to confess your feelings to Jason but never got the chance. 

A mission you weren’t on had gone left, and though you never found out what had went wrong, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened when everyone had returned except for Jason. Dick tried to comfort you as he felt your pain, along with Batman, but it did little to help. You were heartbroken. 

Jason was the only one who knew your history, as you hadn’t told anyone else. He knew some of your deepest secrets and insecurities had helped you through dark moments, and now he was gone. And it wasn’t just for you, as your friends and teammates had noticed your impact on him.

Maybe that’s why some had joked about how Jason held a soft spot for you. He was always nice to you, of course. But, he always had a level of sass and bluntness he’d give others but never towards you. Your friends, even Bruce, had mentioned how they saw that you’d tapped into a more gentle side of Jason none of them ever could see or would be allowed to see, at least.

So, no. Dick couldn’t understand where your pain. No one could. 

After that, a distance grew between you and the team since everyone refused to tell you what had happened. Then, in 2015 a little over a year later, Batman recruited a new Robin, Tim Drake, and you had fucking lost it at that point.

Furious at Bruce and Dick for being so willing to replace Jason, you went off on them, feeling they had dishonored him. Your teammates tried to calm you down, but your fury had been on a different level none of them had seen before. Even Conner was unsettled at the rage spilling off you, being considered the literal definition of anger issues himself. It was safe to say you had no relationship with Tim. While you weren’t hostile or bitter towards him, you had no incentive or want to build a friendship.

At some point, you received a mysterious envelope. Where it came from, you didn’t know, but what was inside it had your attention immediately. It was a letter asking for your aid in an important matter. And whoever wrote it apparently had particular need of your ‘talents.’ You were prepared to ignore it until you saw another note inside, only it wasn’t a note at all. It was a picture, a recent one.

Jason.

He was alive. You could tell cause he looked a bit older than the last time you saw him. Though, just by looking at the picture, you could see something was off. That usual egotistic but confident spark you always noticed in his eyes wasn’t there. Both the corners of his mouth were straight instead of one side upturned up a bit, leaving him with his natural smirk. 

In truth, his blank gaze at the camera caused an unsettled chill to go through you. It was as if you were looking at a ghost of Jason instead of an alive one.

But it was him.

He was alive somewhere, and after so long of only feeling hollow and numb where your heart should be, you felt it stirring in your chest again.

You didn’t know if the others knew, and you weren’t planning on telling them. You’d contemplated leaving the team for some time, and Tim’s recent addition only made that decision easier for you. So the next day, when everyone was asleep, you packed your clothes and disappeared that night, not saying goodbye to anyone.

That’s how you ended up with the League of Shadows and the Al-Ghul family on their island. When you saw Jason for the first time, you wanted to run to him, hug him, and sob into his shoulder. Part of you didn’t believe he was alive, needing hard proof of living flesh in front of your eyes. Truly enough, even looking at him, your mind still couldn’t believe he was there. He still had that strange blank look on his face, though. When you first entered the room, he stared at you, which creeped you out even more now that it was in person.

You found out Ra’s and his family were the ones who recovered Jason’s body and had used the infamous Lazarus Pits to revive him, and while the pit’s healing and life-restoring abilities did that, there were consequences. He explained that the Pit tampered with Jason’s mind, sending him into a feral and almost animalistic state, and though they tamed him, his mind was scattered, and memories were gone.

That’s where you came in. Your telepathic abilities had been recognized exceptionally for their strength, surpassing M’Gann’s powers. With your ability to enter and manipulate minds, Ra’s suspected you could restore Jason’s memories, bringing him back to himself.

At first, you were unsure since you didn’t know the consequences that could come if you tampered with his thoughts. When you’d voiced these concerns, Jason had turned his head to you, a curious gaze replacing his blank expression. Ra’s and Talia observed, speechless as he made his way to you, head tilting in confusion as he stared into your eyes. You didn’t move, watching his hand come up to your face and one of his fingers slowly caressing down your cheek.

“Psi…con.”

It was your turn to be speechless. You felt tears come to your eyes and shut them, attempting to hold yourself together. It was too much. Clenching your fists at your side, you choked on a gasp as you forced yourself not to cry. Even Talia felt a bit emotional at the sight of your grief, though she didn’t show it, remaining poised as ever.

“Ah, it would seem your presence has already triggered a spark in his mind. You two must have had a significant connection for him to recall your name.” Ra’s pointed out, eyeing you with an intrigued look.

It didn’t take much convincing after that.

“I’ll do it.” You stated with no hesitation in your voice.

That same smile Ra’s held when you agreed was the same one on his face now in 2019 as you and Talia holding baby Damian had come out just in time to see the Bio-Ship flying off to hear Jason uttering “Gray…son” in a slow, and almost zombie-like speech.

You had begun to lose hope. Jason, now the Sensei’s Red-Hooded Ninja, was trained as a guard and protector. He was no longer of a feral and animalistic sense of mind but more of a living, mindless zombie, understanding and taking directions well. However, the sessions he had with you were not making much progress. 

Every time you’d gotten close to having a breakthrough or found what you thought was a crack in the haze around his mind when working, you got shut out. It was as if something was trying to keep you from getting to Jason’s inner mind and releasing his memories, and you didn’t think there would be much you could do anymore, as nothing seemed to be working.

So, expectedly, you felt your heart pause and your body still when you heard him. Barely feeling like you could move, tears had once again come to your eyes at hearing the first word in the four years you’d worked in healing Jason’s mind.

“Ah, your memory is finally returning. Excellent.” Ra’s said before he turned in your direction, nodding for you to come to his side. “Your work is starting to pay off. I’m aware of your frustrations in this quest, but tonight has proven your efforts are not in vain. I want you to continue your sessions more frequently. This could be the start of him fully regaining his mind.” You nodded your head before turning back to walk inside, Jason trailing behind you from Ra’s order.

He followed you to your room, where you went inside and rummaged through your drawers before finding the desired items. You turned to see him standing in the middle of the room, the red glow from his robotic eye mask bright in the moonlight from your window.

“Please, sit.” You asked.

In your sessions with him, you always spoke with a gentle tone. You didn’t want to command or order him around like the others. You communicated with Jason as you always had before, hoping it’d bring familiarity and comfort. Over time, it seemed to work. Jason notably sought you out whenever something distressed him. For whatever reason unbeknownst to you, this had pleased Ra’s.

Even if you were having little success restoring Jason’s mind, Ra’s had noted that while everyone else had Jason’s obedience, you held something more precious, his loyalty and trust.

Tonight, you hoped you’d found what you needed to achieve that first and ultimate objective. When your old teammates showed up, and you watched Nightwing and Jason battle, it reminded you of the old days before he had died. You three goofing around in the control room during sparring and training.

After hearing him utter Nightwing’s name and thinking back to the first time he uttered your old superhero name, it hit you like a ton of bricks. 

Those moments were all triggers for Jason. Things that evoked emotion and nostalgia from him, like when someone smells a dish their grandparent used to make when they were a kid or hearing a song that reminded them of a special moment. 

It made you remember a comment Jason once made about how when you talked, it calmed him. He said how he found your voice relaxing and that he could just listen to you speak about whatever, and it would bring him peace. Not really knowing what he meant by it, you remembered very well how it made you feel and how it still makes you to this day.

Thinking back to the night you came to the island, you realized Jason hearing your voice had been his first trigger, which helped him remember your retired name. Fighting with Dick brought back the nostalgic feeling of when he used to spar with him in the control room, helping him remember his name.

So, you intended to create more triggers. Whatever prevented you from fully accessing Jason’s mind and releasing his memories was obviously weak to emotional pulls. Those pulls could come from anything that held a feeling of significance or nostalgia in his memories.

Grabbing what you needed, you joined Jason on the ground, crossing your legs before placing everything in front of him. You had a small collection of Jason’s things he’d given you or stuff you had borrowed from him and forgotten to give back. You had some of his favorite books, old batarangs, and even one of his eye masks from his Robin costume.

He looked at everything on the ground, picking some things up and observing them before placing them back down.

You’d tried this tactic before, but with your discovery, you figured maybe there was something you needed to do or say to help spark something. Jason thumbed through some books and messed with the Batarang a little, but you had to be careful since you weren’t sure if it was one of the ones that could explode.

When he picked up the eye mask from the Robin costume, his head tilted while looking at it before turning to you and holding it between his hands, making you grin at his adorable confusion.

“It’s your old mask. It goes over your eyes. Here, I’ll show you.” You explained, holding your hand out, allowing him to place it in your hand.

You brought it up to your face and put it on before showing him, “See? Like the one you have on, it goes over your eyes.” You said.

Jason stared back at you before he looked down and pointed at the space next to you. Realizing what he was asking, you nodded, “Yeah, you can sit next to me.” You expressed, patting the spot next to you

He got up before moving to the spot and placed himself back down before turning to look at having to tilt his head down slightly. He pointed to the mask on your face, silently asking for it. When you took it off and handed it to him, he just looked down at it, turning it to study it from all different directions.

“Do you want me to help you put it on?” You offered.

He turned his head to you, that glowing robotic mask staring at you before you saw him slowly nod. Turning your body to face him a bit more, you reached your hands up slowly, “May I?” You asked, referring to his current eyewear.

He paused for a moment before nodding. Gently placing your hands on the sides of his head, you grabbed the mask and lifted it from his face, able to see his blue-green eyes, taking time to enjoy them since it was rare you ever got to see them. He rarely removed his mask, and only when you were doing intensive work with your telepathic powers on him did he sometimes remove it.

You were caught in his gaze as well as he was with yours. For a moment, it felt like you were back in 2013 before everything had gone wrong, and it was just you and Jason, staying up at night talking about anything and everything that came to your mind. The memories brought some tears to your eyes, and you were shocked to feel a finger come up to one of them. Jason was looking down at you, and though he mostly still held a blank expression, you could see underneath a bit of concern etched into his gaze.

“I’m okay.” You assured, or at least attempted to.

Wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your robes, you gave him a quick smile, which seemed to relax him. You hadn’t even noticed he was tense.

He turned back to look at the mask before slowly placing it on his face. A bit smaller now since he’s grown, it was like you were looking at him as the day you last saw him. You loved how his hair was still slightly curled over his forehead with the mask, not being able to notice it as much when he wore his ninja hood.

You raised your hand slowly to his face, pressing your palm against his ear. Whether or not he snuggled into your hand was totally not important and did not cause swooning in your gut.

Alright, you’re a liar. But you’ve been through a lot these past few years. You’re allowed to have this moment.

“Okay, Jason. We’re going to do what we do in every single session. But, this time. I’m going to project some of my memories into you. Is that okay?” You asked. Consent is key.

He nodded his head after a moment, training his eyes on you as you closed yours. He kept focusing on you while you channeled your memories into your hands to pass on to him. Eventually, he closed his eyes, welcoming your power into his head.

There were flashes of different moments from your past, all relating to you and him. Some were moments of you guys training together in the sparring room with Dick. There were times of you two together on missions, and one particular memory when Jason’s big mouth got you both into a less-than-desirable situation once again. But he managed to get you out of the sticky mess by using said big mouth again. That memory always brought a smile to your face. You remembered being so mad at him and then laughing at it like madmen when you returned to the Cave.

In each of these memories, Jason was wearing the mask. It was a part of his identity. Not just as Robin, Batman’s sidekick, but as Jason Todd. The boy who just wanted someone to care about him.

Suddenly, your head flooded with more memories, some you recognized as not your own. In your physical body, you could feel Jason tensing in front of you, shouting out in pain. It was working!

You managed to unlock part of Jason’s memories. Concentrating, you could see some of these moments from his past. And to your shock, they all seemed to involve—you. You saw the first day you’d met the team and Jason for the first time. You’d thought he was an obnoxious little twat, emphasis on the little since you were taller than him at that point, and you had voiced this thought as well. Over time, he caught up with you. And now, he’s got a few inches over you.

“Did this nobody just call me a little twat?”

That wasn’t your voice, nor was it your words. You did call Jason a twat that day, but you’d never call yourself a nobody.

You caught another memory of when you and he were with the team fighting against Dr. Ivo and Amazo. That fight left many bruises on your body since Ivo had decided to make some upgrades. When Amazo managed to get your powers and use them against you, it’d trapped you in your thoughts, torturing you with some of your worst memories. Jason pulled out of there while the others had managed to distract it long enough and eventually take it down. He’d overheard some of what you were crying out about and decided not to push.

When you had returned to the Cave, Jason followed you outside to get some air and think for a moment. You had warmed up to each other a little, and Jason had started telling you about his background and how he came to be Batman’s sidekick. After some contemplation, you told him about your past and how the Justice League found you. He had made a joke saying all you needed was the staircase and a letter from a white owl, and you could be the next Harry Potter.

You punched him in the arm for that joke,

“Hmm, kid’s not as bad as I thought he was. Packs a punch too.”

It took you a minute to realize, but you eventually got it.

These were Jason’s thoughts from those memories you were witnessing, his own inner dialogue. It was interesting to see some of the moments he found precious, things you had never even thought about before or remembered at the very least. And now, you were hearing it from his point of view. You used to always make a joke with him that you’d pay big money to know what he was thinking about sometimes.

“If he knew what I was thinking, I’m sure he’d either smack me or punch me, maybe both. Wouldn’t do anything except make him hotter.”

Pardon? Can we rewind that last part?

Did Jason call you hot? Like hot, as in attractive hot? Or, hot as in, ‘Ah! This bitch is burning. Get them away from me,’ hot?

Looking at Jason’s other memories with you, you could also feel some of his emotions from those precise moments. You felt annoyance from earlier thoughts, typically around the earlier parts of your relationship. Amusement at times when you and he would get into a silly argument. Or when you went on one of your excited rants about something. The further you got along in his mind, the more you felt his feelings change, becoming more intense. Curiosity turning into fondness. Admiration becomes the urge to protect.

A particular memory had caught your mental attention. One that you recognized was about a week before the mission that would ultimately lead to the end of Jason’s life. Dick and Jason were at their house, Wayne Manor, and they were talking while working in the Batcave.

“So, how’s everything between you and Zatanna?” Jason asked while practicing his kicks and punches on one of the training dummies.

“It’s good. She’s still a little upset over Nabu’s refusal to release her father’s body for no more than an hour, but she makes do with it.” Dick said, turning to face him from whatever he was doing on the Bat-Computer.

Things had gone quiet for a moment, Dick looking a little smug before he spoke up, “So, you and Y/N?” He smirked.

You felt a clench in your chest and didn’t know if that came from Jason or yourself.

“Shut up,” Jason said.

“I’m just saying, you two seemed to have gotten really close over the last few months. You’re actually considerate and somewhat respectful when you’re around him too.” Dick commented.

“Fuck you, and again. Shut up.” Jason responded.

Somehow, you could feel the small smile that formed on his face.

“You want my advice—”

“No.”

“Tell him how you feel and ask him out,” Dick continued, ignoring Jason. “And I’d do it soon. You didn’t hear this from me, but I’ve heard someone else on the team has eyes for Y/N too. So, if I were you, I’d hurry up and take my chances. You never know how long you have until it’s too late.”

An unpleasant toil in your stomach blossomed at that sentence, but you felt curiosity at the same time. You just didn't know if one or both feelings belonged to you or Jason. You did wonder who harbored feelings for you on the team though.

You couldn’t dwell on it any longer though when you were tackled to the ground, forced back to reality. Opening your eyes, you saw Jason on top of you, looking at you with another feral look, only it wasn’t the same as the one he had when you first arrived on the island. This one was wild but in an attractive way. His sea-like colored eyes staring back at you but with a darker look. It had you on edge but also ☀️feeling very hot with how he pinned your arms to the ground.

“I… l-lo– love … y-you.”

Your entire body froze as his head fell against your shoulder. Feeling his chest move against push against your back with his breathing, you could only turn your head slightly to stare at his before he turned to face you. The dark haze in his eyes was now gone, and his blue-green ears were staring back at you with the same adoration you’d always seen before whenever he looked your way.

He remembered you.

☀️ | DC Masterlist | ☀️

☀️ } Masterlists | ☀️

[half-bakedboy]

Hi! I saw that you were asking for Tommy/Buck prompts! What do you think about: "You're allowed to be happy, y'know."? With Tommy continuing to be just as gentle with Buck as he was with that kiss! I'm still not over it 🩷

Tommy kisses Buck on a Thursday and takes him on their first date the following Saturday. They go on two more official dates before Tommy reminds him his sister's getting married in a few weeks. They're five dates into their... well, whatever they are, when Buck watches Tommy dance with his newly married sister.

There's something so gentle about the way Tommy holds Maddie's manicured fingers delicately in his own. He has what can only be described as a gentlemanly hand on her waist and he's almost letting her take the lead like he's making sure he doesn't scare her away.

Maddie doesn't get scared anymore, not like she used to, but the fact that Tommy can put that amount of care into someone just in case makes Buck's eyes water. Even though he tries not to show too much emotion in public, he doesn't put any effort into holding the tears back. His sister just got married! He's allowed to feel.

"Buck!" Chimney shouts. He's running toward Maddie and Tommy with a faux scowl that couldn't reach his eyes even if he tried. "Get your man before he woos her with his fancy helicopter license."

"Pilot's license," Buck says as he stands, wiping subtly at his eyes. A smile tugs at the corner of Tommy's lips because he knows that's his influence. Buck had called it a helicopter license approximately five times before Tommy finally taught him how it all worked. 

“There’s only one firefighter for me, Howie,” Maddie says dreamily. Buck can’t remember a time he’d ever heard her so wistful, not since she was a kid reading him fairytales when they were both supposed to be sleeping. 

“And there’s only one Buckley for me,” Tommy adds, winking at Maddie dramatically before placing her hand in Chimney’s, “but I always have a plan b. Isn’t that what you taught me, Han?” Chimney swats at him half-heartedly, his attention already back on his bride. 

Buck watches them for a few moments, reveling in the sheer joy that illuminates between them like no storm cloud in the world could cover the sunshine they feel. He's struck by a stray bolt of lightning--pun only partially intended--when he thinks about what she's gotten through to be here, but it settles into calmness when Tommy clears his throat from beside him.

Buck snaps from his thoughts and realizes he's been ignoring Tommy's outstretched hand. He clasps their hands together, fully intending to drag them back to their table, when Tommy clicks his tongue and pulls him close.

Then they're dancing underneath a backyard tent surrounded by their friends and family, and Buck thinks that he's never been as happy as he is right then.

There's guilt in the feeling, as there almost always is. There are people in need of saving, people who are hurt or scared or lonely, and here is Evan Buckley--happy. He can’t begin to comprehend why or even if he deserves that. He's made mistakes, he's lied to himself his entire life without intention, he never protected his sister or his team well enough, and now he's with a man who he really likes but isn't sure exactly what it means.

He doesn't deserve--

"You're allowed to be happy, y'know." 

Tommy says the words like he's reading Buck's mind.

"I am happy," Buck says instinctively. Tommy chuckles and nods.

"You are," he agrees, "but you need to stop feeling so much shame about it."

His large palm presses against the small of Buck's back, leading him into a slow sway. He dips his head the few centimeters between them and rests their foreheads together like he's trying to keep Buck's attention. Like Buck's attention could be anywhere else when he's being held like this, with such tenderness that he feels weak in his knees.

"You're going to find happiness that you don't need to feel guilty for one day, Evan."

It feels like a promise, and Buck only hopes that Tommy's the one to keep it.

[crusty-chronicles]

Airheaded S/O Headcannons #10: Kurapika (HxH)

He is completely dumbfounded by you

Like how did you end up working for the Nostrade family?

How did you even manage to become a hunter?

You have to be faking, right?

I mean nobody just loses Neon's new diamond earrings.

Nobody just trips and takes a whole countertop with them. (Marble countertop if he may add)

Nobody just forgets they can use nen?

"What's your ability?"

"Sometimes if I squint real hard, I can see in the dark."

"Your nen ability????"

"Oh! Don't remember!" 😃

Finds out you are in fact not faking

It kinda reminds him of Leorio

But at least Leorio could read and doesn't have the attention span of a goldfish.

Sometimes he swears he can hear your single braincell rattle around in your head when someone's shaking you in their frustration.

It worries him why you were hired to be a bodyguard

Mainly because the Nostrades had been very thorough selecting candidates.

And you were here before his team got selected.

So Kurapika has a hunch.

He'll make Melody ask you questions and check your heartbeat for lies.

And every ridiculous answer you gave was true

Which irritated him a little

He didn't want a braindead idiot to get in the way of his goal

Buuuuut his opinion of you changes for the better after his fight with Uvogin

He came back feeling defeated, even though he won

The blood on his hands was icky and he had gotten no information out of the ordeal.

The only thing he left with was an even worse hatred for the Phantom Troupe.

The very same people who didn't remember they had massacred an entire clan.

He arrived at the hotel when mostly everyone had left.

Everyone except you and Melody.

He eyes were still that scarlet color, not bothering to hide them.

Then he felt arms wrap around him and went to lash out, wanting anything but to be touched right now.

Except his movements stopped completely

And he became completely calm and relaxed.

"Your eyes are really pretty like this, but I don't like you mad. Just calm down a little, okay?" It was you.

And why had you said that to someone you barely knew?

Why were you trying to comfort him?

And why had he let you?

He realized this was your ability: controlling emotions. Or at least altering them.

It was...nice

He hadn't been hugged in a while.

And yours was warm.

The scarlet at last fading away.

"Thank you for that... I appreciate it."

From then on he's seeking you out.

With melody, he has to be cautious with what he says.

He doesn't want to say anything that would frighten her or complicate things for himself.

But if he's talking with you, he could say just about anything and you'd listen.

You would have no clue what he was talking about, but you would be there.

And it was like talking to a wall

Except the wall brought temporary joy into his very dark and devoid world.

A bright light that couldn't be darkened no matter what thanks to your naivety.

And maybe it's endearing when you trip on air in public and say-

"I'm stumbling over my success."

Maybe it makes him smile when you ask about his nen chains and narrow it down to 'a portable prison.'

Maybe he does want you to fill the silence he's used to with ramblings about 'why vases are too fragile these days.'

He may like you, but his motive comes first.

His clan's eyes will always come first

However, he can't stop himself from indulging with what might be a happy future with you.

Especially after seeing you cave someone's skull in with one punch during a task from the Nostrade family.

He's so relieved that yes, you had great physical strength and a useful ability.

It means he'll let you follow him to fulfill his vengeance against the Spiders

He only babies you when it's something serious.

Like if you're about to chop your finger off while cooking.

He's running into the kitchen and taking the knife from you.

"Y/n, what do you have?"

"A knife 😃😃😃"

"NO!"

Or if you're about to get hit by a car because you saw something cool across the street.

He's using his chains to pull you back, and then proceeds to lecture you for the next ten minutes.

But anything else?

No. You can figure it out.

If you're lost, you'll find him eventually.

If you swapped out the pepper and salt, he's laughing, but hopes you learned your lesson.

You brought the wrong item at an auction?

Good luck explaining that to Neon and her father

Doesn't buy you fancy things because he knows you don't care about stuff like that.

Instead, he'll leave you little notes where he knows you'll find them.

He tried to take you to a nice restaurant for dinner claiming it was to 'Keep up the Nostrade's Appearances'.

It was just him being a little embarrassed to admit it was a date.

And you know what happened?

You two got kicked out because you kept breaking the fancy silverware and plates.

But it did make him laugh to see you try to hide the evidence under the table cloth

Calls you: my love, dearest, sunny, little clown, baby (derogatory), and if he's feeling playful-mighty warrior.

He has trouble communicating, so having a stable relationship is difficult.

But he tries, even if he's not there all that much.

Won't feel jealous, but instead a little insecure that you would get bored and leave.

Even if he knows you're a fool with a heart of gold and would never do that

It's just the part of his brain that has to consider every possible outcome.

But if the way your eyes light up every time you see him, even if it's just been five minutes, is anything to go by....

Then he has absolutely nothing to worry about.

Kurapika just hopes his pursuit of his clan's eyes don't scare you away or dim the light you bring with you.

UP NEXT: Monkey D Luffy

MASTERLIST

An: Sorry it took longer than usual, the fucking heat is draining and it makes me lazy 🫠

[wordsinhaled]

augh, y'all. The Ball episode is so lovely?? ?? it is just the most episode. i'm emotional about it so you're gonna hear about it.

okay, it's the way crowley is indignant that anyone could ever suggest anything against aziraphale's pureness of heart, even while knowing aziraphale's a bit of a bastard and finding that wonderful about him. and his vehement objection that he'd ever relegate aziraphale to anything less than the most important person in his life. the way crowley is like "oh. i have had. a Realization," after talking to nina, and he has to go and get day-drunk to deal with the enormity of it, and he asks aziraphale if he wants a glass, probably thinking - maybe aziraphale will sit with him and maybe they'll Talk About It. and... "smitten, I believe."

and the way the whole time after his conversation with nina crowley's just subtly different around aziraphale from then on - watching him just a tiny little bit differently, partially like he just can't look away and partially like the realization is sinking in, "this is actually the person who's walking around with my heart and doesn't know it, and i actually have to grapple with that" - you know??? the way crowley's always marveling at aziraphale from beside him - "can i watch?" and then the way aziraphale ushers crowley out of the bookshop so he can make his preparations. the sweeping music while aziraphale miracles the beautiful glowing chandelier and crowley stopping in his tracks outside the window to look at it...

the way crowley rushes into the bookshop from outside and stops short by the door just boggling because the entire place is transformed and aziraphale did all that. aziraphale is absolutely freaking out about asking crowley to dance just before he does it; his eyes dart all over and voice goes all funny with nerves and everything, because he's thinking oh god, i planned this whole thing just for this, and now is the moment. the way aziraphale knows every step of the dance and crowley doesn't really follow the steps of the dance beyond the bare minimum (there's a point where he even sort of shrugs, when that's not the dance step) but he's still taking every opportunity for them to touch. the way they almost hold hands and their fingers nearly twine together each time, while they barely touch the other shopkeepers only as much as necessary.

crowley's "i won't leave you on your own," and aziraphale's answering "i know." the confirmation that aziraphale can stand up for himself perfectly well, but knows it makes crowley happy to be a rescuer and indulges that about him in their relationship - coupled with crowley's "he's unpredictable" from earlier which shows crowley knows his madcap angel can get out of anything but that he enjoys letting himself be rescued. (it's an echo back to the bastille scene too, really, where crowley's basically like you called me here for this??? because you wanted to have crepes??? and aziraphale's like and so what if i did? it's their thing, their thing they both enjoy so much.)

the way their love in so many ways is about knowing one another and understanding one another and giving each other what they need. and the fact that even with all their roadblocks in communication they STILL know and understand one another best, because they've each been witness to the other's first moments of genuine joy and pleasure. (i have a separate set of thoughts about that that i won't go in here because this has gotten long, but -- )

they!!!

[roll-of-royces]

Feel free to ignore this but I'm gender fluid and really wish there was an option to go by male pronouns in the game so could I request a scenario where the guys find out the reincarnation of mc is a male but it doesn't matter?

Absolutely! Here ya' go!

My asks are open for HC requests and drabbles for anyone interested!

HC: The LaDS Responses to You Being Reincarnated As AMAB

- Spoilers for all three boys backstories. -

This doesn't come as a shock to Zayne, after all he's been reincarnated with you. To him you are still you, and his feelings in that capacity are the same.  

He does not worry about the social ramifications, he's a well-educated man and he's not going to tolerate bigotry. He's the first to cut people off who are rude or disrespectful. And if his relationship with you affects his reputation at work, then they can find a different doctor.  

He sort of likes that you're of similar gender expression because it means he understands you extremely well in a physical sense. He knows all of the chemicals that flow through you, how to understand your emotions and need for certain things.  

The two of you were thick as thieves growing up, everyone assumed you were like brothers. You weren't. It was so much more than that. You and Zayne are two parts of one whole, in this lifetime, the one before, and the one next.  

Zayne loves the shape of your neck, the way the muscle flows downward. He often finds his hand resting there, or his mouth, or his teeth.  

He's still the more domineering of the two of you regardless of your gender, though he did let you carry him over the threshold (that one time).  

Regardless of your gender he is still more reserved in public, leaning toward more subtle tokens affection like your arms brushing together, or a whisper in your ear.  

He's waited a long time to find you again, searching, hunting. The fact that you're AMAB is surprising, but he still recognizes you. He knows that spark that lives in you, that calls to the spark that lives in him.  

Xavier hesitates a bit to admit his feelings for you, not because he is ashamed but because he worries about damaging your reputation.  

At first he tries really hard to be the best friend that he can be, if he can't be with you, he'll still be with you. As your friend, your brother, your anything. But he still wants you, the way he has and always will want you.  

When you do finally admit that you're not just friends, his affections flourish. Instead of accidentally bumping shoulders on the train, it's an arm around you. It's cheek kisses and grins, and sleeping pressed in the crook of your neck.  

Xavier does not tolerate people speaking ill of you (he doesn't much care what they say about him). He's summoned his weapon on more than one occasion when someone made an off-handed remark. That usually shuts them up (usually).  

Xavier loves your back, he likes to kiss along your shoulder blades, run his fingers down your sides, trace up your spine.   

Though Xavier is generally sleepy, casual, and happy to relax with you, he's always aware of your surroundings. Your change in gender has somehow made him even more protective of you. Not only does he have to keep you safe from Wanderers and the like, he also wants to protect you from the world at large.  

When he first spots you, Rafayel thinks he's going crazy. He thinks he's confused, been waiting too long, but then he finds out your name. He watches, you're different but the same. Once he's certain it's you, all he feels is joy.  

Rafayel doesn't care about the social effects, he's an artist. If they don't want to buy his art because he kisses you every chance he gets then they don't deserve his pieces anyway.  

You're a new kind of muse and he loves it, there's so many fresh angles to paint you from, poses that wouldn't have matched before. Colors that suit this more masculine version of his love.  

Without meaning too Rafayel finds his own personal style shifting and evolving to match yours. He begins to dress more feminine (softer colors, make-up, flowing fabrics). 

He's utterly infatuated with the size of your hands, he's always leading you to grab him by the hips or cup his face. He loves to be touched by you, leaning in to it no matter where the two of you are.  

If anyone is disrespectful toward you or your relationship he has a quick retort at the ready. His responses only get nastier the more someone pushes. He won't let anyone talk ill of his lord, no matter who they are.  

He adjusts the way he talks to you too, making sure that you feel good. Mister bodyguard, that's much too tall get it for me. This jar is too tight, open it. I wish some strong muscular beautiful man would come and sweep me off my feet, literally, I'm bored and I don't want to walk anymore.  

[lutawolf]

My Dear Gangster Oppa Commentary Ep 4

If you haven't seen my other commentary, you can find it here.

This makes me sad because what was special for Tew was the fact that Guy wasn't afraid of him. But here he is, afraid. Which clearly is upsetting to Tew.

As soon as Guy opens his eyes, they are drawn to the gun wound scar. The face that Tew gives him then...

And Guy's concern, then confusion. So much emotion in one frame.

Now they are sitting and communicating. Tew tells Guy that he didn't tell him that he was scared that it would put Guy in danger. Which confuses me because not knowing, knowing, is there really a difference in danger level?

Tew starts to explain his past and his joy of playing video game. Then his home life. While not rich, he had a loving father. Who clearly raised him right because he is so well-mannered. Oh no! Cough with blood.  

Damn... I was really hoping he would kick their asses, and get home to his dad.

I mean, we knew it was coming, but the fact that he didn't get to say goodbye. Oh damn, that really explains the previous episode where he came to meet Guy to say goodbye before his trip.

Ohhhh, Tew looks scary now.

OH! Who called it?!?!

And then he is shot!!! What!?!? I was not expecting that. Nor was I expecting the next part. I was kind of expecting him to have been forced into killing. Interesting. I wonder if Wish John Lennon was one of these kids???

So while bad boy is a rebel with a cause, he still a rebel. Then he just lays down to die.

I think it's safe to say that home dude was not thinking that day.

I think Guy gets it, but it will be interesting to see if he accepts it. He at least isn't scared of Tew anymore. Butt he more Tew explains, the more clearly you can see he is an anti-hero. Won't go so far as to call him a villain butttttt. He is no hero. Yay!!! This is my favorite type of character!

I am not sure what to think of the mob boss. He is putting a lot of trust into a kid, but he also appears to be giving him the keys to revenge. He is an interesting character to say the least.

The rules seem simple enough. No lying and no betrayal.

"Once you touch a gun. There is no going back to a normal life"

Then, Tew gives a little smirk and says that he doesn't plan on going back to a normal life anyway.

And Guy is seeing this. I think it's interesting because for some reason Tew really expected that Guy would absolutely understand. He is pretty spot on because Guy does understand.

Really Guy... You are going to be butt hurt over the restaurant lie??? I mean, I actually get where Guy is coming from. I'm just thinking it's funny to pick that after hearing Tew's story.

It apparently was not what Tew was expecting Guy to be upset about either. His face says he is completely dumbfounded. Honestly, in my opinion, Guy is latching onto something to use so he can run scared. I don't think he is scared of Tew, but of his own feelings that are happening too fast. I could be completely off base, but that's what I see from how he is acting and reacting.

Boy up in his feels getting sloppy drunk. Other boy is being emo in his bed. What a pair.

Oh, no! Boss man is not okay with the fake restaurant.

Home dude is not right in the head, is he?

I'll say it again. Mob boss daddy is interesting. He cares about Tew, but he isn't a push over.

I'm suspicious... How is a regular dude off the street not scared when goons show up???

Again, not a push over.

Now back to emo boy with his bed and his fish. Damn it Guy! That was a shit move to do to your guild!!! And his first thoughts when there is a knock at the door is Tew. That should tell you something, Guy! You're running from your feelings. Coward!

Nope. It's jackass Wahl, who I just know has something to do with stirring up shit. I know. He seems sweet, but how can he not tell that his bestie is upset??? Wahl is just too selfish for me to like him. I tried to like him, I really did, but I don't like selfish besties.

Discount Lennon out here trying to drown people.

See, I told you that Wahl was where this bullshit all started. He is being so condescending. Saying he is the most important person to him but then ditching him all the time. I really hope, at some point, Tew beats him up.

Did he drown him???

We're back to the guessing game of: Dead or Passed Out??? (If you said that in a game host voice, give yourself ten points.)

Oh! Not dead! Ohhhhh, another pissing contest in the wild!

I refuse to believe that Tew is that stupid... I hate Wahl because I feel like he is going to get a call from his gf and just leave Guy like he always does.

Ahhh... Nice. Tew planned ahead. Never mind, I take it back. Tew is stupid. Don't lie to the boss, especially not for Wish Lennon.

I don't like the fall troupe when it's Guy and Wahl.... Just saying.

Please, please, let Tew beat him up.

Yes, I agree. You need to put an end to your feelings. Oh, wow! Wahl didn't ditch Guy, but Guy ditched Wahl!!!

Sadly, though, Guy isn't answering Tew's phone calls either.

I really think that Tew should take this opportunity given to him and beat up Wahl.

The wrong person got punched! That did not go the way that I wanted.

Guy ran home. I can respect that. Except the fact that he is acting like a two-year-old. Awww, bless him. Well, at least now he is realizing that he is running away from everything.

Finally!!!

What does it say that Tew didn't stop till he found you Guy? LOVE, the communication going on. I love that Tew is calling out Guy, telling him that he feels this way and ran because he cares about him.

He called him little boy! And then gave him a real hug!!!

Ahhh, Tew confessing. Hot damn! They are making up for that shitty ending last episode!

OH SHIT.... He is going to quit the gangster life... I'm scared.

Never mind, we'll just shelve that concern for another day. Carry On. 💜💜💜

[quitealotofsodapop]

Where did the idea that Macaque and PIF are swirn siblings come from? I've seen it in a few other fics and while I'm not in any way against it I am curious. Is it just fannon or is there evidence for it in either the show or the original text? And how did the two of them meet in your au?

I believe it's a popular fanon idea. I think it spawned from the fact that Wukong and DBK are canonically sworn brothers, and thus Macaque and PIF would have interacted back in the day through the Brotherhood - both were/are not looked upon the best by the leaders of the Brotherhood, so they may have found friendship in one another. They are also both cool af characters that sadly never interacted in the show proper.

Macaque ( -_-)/\(-_- ) PIF: Being bad b*tches with wind powers and impulsive spouses who got trapped under a mountain for 400+ years.

In "The Monkey King and the Infant" au they're sworn/adoptive siblings due to mutual past history, even before The Brotherhood. They met as young children (an incident where little Princess Tieshan stole her big sister's bag of wind and got stranded on the moon), and later became eachother's confidants when they reunited as teens (Macaque becoming PIF's attendant). When the Brotherhood started up, Macaque accidentally introduced PIF and DBK while sneaking out for a meeting. When PIF was disowned by her family for falling in love with a demon; Macaque was one of very few from her old life that stayed by her side. They supported eachother emotionally through thick and thin - SWK being imprisioned + his and Macaque's breakup, PIF's banishment and troubles having a child etc...

Then Macaque "died".

And so PIF lost the closest to a little brother she ever had.

DBK finding out about Macaque's death (or whatever version someone spun about it), combined with Red Son being taken away by Guanyin after the Samadhi Fire ritual, is partially what drove him into a rage + his own imprisonment under a mountain. And so Princess Iron Fan was left (almost) completely alone for roughly 400+ years. It's no wonder why she fcking hates SWK's guts.

By the time of the fic start, she straight up decides "fck this I'm taking my kid back and finding a way to remove the staff. I ain't waiting around on earth alone anymore."

Then a month or so later she recieves a knock on her door;

Macaque: "Hey, jiejie [big sis]. I uh... kinda got revived???" PIF: "...how and why?!" Macaque: "No idea [lie]. Ok, long story short; Wukong knocked me up-" PIF: "THAT SON OF A BIT-" Macaque: "Yeah I was mad too. We're kinda *still* on a break right now so can I crash here until... I dunno either he apologizes, I stop being mad at him, or you know... forever?" PIF, (trying to hide tears of joy): "Forever sounds like just long enough."

The emotional reunion is interuppted by toddler Red Son charging head-first (bull calf style) into Macaque out of excitement.

After realising that his sworn uncle is very upset with the Monkey King; Red Son declares war on Sun Wukong and later secretly begins devising a plan to kidnap him and force him to lift the staff. PIF thinks its adorable how protective Red Son is over them, while Macaque is reading the kid's revenge corkboard like "Oh dang, he's really going for it. I'm so proud of him. Wait... is this what having a kid feels like??"

When SWK shows up looking for Macaque, PIF pretty much wind-fan kicks his ass straight out of the mountain. Cue Wukong thinking he has to do something; Big, Dumb, Dangerous, and Extremely Hearfelt in order to get back into both Macaque's and PIF's good graces...

Small spoilers:

Macaque, extremely touched but confused af: "Peaches, I would have accepted an apology and some flowers!" PIF, non-stop cuddling DBK since he got back: "Not me. This barely gets Wukong off my hit list."

Its a huge thing. The citizens of Diyu are shooken. By the end of it, the fam is extremely confused but happy to be reunited. Red Son declares it his first ever evil victory.

[fandomtherapy44]

castiel x reader chapter 14

Summary: This story is from the perspective of Y/n Winchester. The sister Of Sam and Dean. We will be starting from season four since sadly we did not get Misha Collins as Castiel throughout the whole series. It will start off as a friendship, but it will grow more as the series goes on. I will be skipping some episodes even though they are great episodes they do not push the story forward. I am so excited to get to write this since there are not many Castiel X reader stories out there. Okay without further due Love War & Grace enjoy the Story.

Paring: Castiel X Reader

word count: 2,833

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season four of Supernatural

I got the divider from

Firefly Graphics

Cas’s POV

Orders, obedience, and being a faithful soldier never mattered to me to go against until I met the Winchesters until I met her in particular. My orders to save Dean Winchester I did without thinking twice I did everything asked of me. My whole existence had never been that important until my garrison got the order to save the Winchester from Hell. But before I saved him I saved his sister.

About two months before we got the order I heard one of the biggest cries of help I've ever felt from a human. Angels aren't supposed to answer prayers. That was God’s job but no Angel had seen him in so long all we had was orders from some higher power that I had never seen. So I did something I never thought I would, I answered her prayer. I flew down and I didn’t have a vessel but I did have a presence.

“I don’t know what I’m doing out here I- I'm just so tired so whatever is out there I'm begging you.” She was sobbing on her knees now. “Bring him back! Bring him Back!” I didn’t know what to do. I had never seen human emotions like this before. So I did the only thing I could do.

I lifted my wing and put it on her shoulder as I did something happened, I felt her pain, happiness, and joy. I have never felt really before. It was an overwhelming experience but wonderful at the same time. She began to stop and looked around for what had helped her but couldn't see me so she got up and whispered “Thank you.” That was the first time Y/n Winchester made me feel something but it wouldn't be the last.

Y/N’s POV

After we arrived back at Bobby’s I went straight to sleep pretty sure I had a concussion but I didn't have time to worry about that. We had to find Sam. I woke up to the sounds of Bobby and Dean talking well more like arguing. “Yeah, I heard you. I'm not calling him.” That’s when I walked into the conversation. “What do you mean Dean of course we are calling him.” Dean ignored my sentence. “How’s the head kid.” “I'll live now why won’t you call Sam!?” “We are damn near kickoff for Armageddon, don't you think we got bigger fish at the moment?” “Really! Our brother is not important right now. Dean this is when he needs us now more than ever!” “I know you're pissed. And I'm not making apologies for what he's done, but he's your–” Bobby added in. “Blood? He's my blood, is that what you were gonna say?” Dean snapped back.

“He's your brother. And he's drowning.” “Thank you, Bobby!” “Bobby, we tried to help him, we did. Look what happened.” “So we try again Damnit!” “It's too late.” I scoffed at him. “There's no such thing.” Bobby is trying so hard to convince him because my words aren't doing much. “No, damnit! No. I gotta face the facts. Sam never wanted part of this family. He hated this life growing up. Ran away to Stanford first chance he got. Now it's like déjà vu all over again. Well, I am sick and tired of chasing him. Screw him, he can do what he wants.” “How could you say that Dean! Just because he wanted his own life he’s what, no longer our brother!?” “You don't mean that.” “Yes I do, Bobby. Sam's gone. He's gone. I'm not even sure if he's still my brother anymore. If he ever was.” I gasped and started to tear up.

Bobby looked pissed off to all seven layers of Hell. Knocking things over. Getting in Dean’s face. “You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!” “I told him, "You walk out that door, don't come back" and he walked out anyway! That was his choice!” “You sound like a whiny brat. No, you sound like your dad. Well, let me tell you something. Your dad was a coward.”

I had never heard Bobby talk about Dad like that. It felt good. “My dad was a lot of things, Bobby, but a coward?” “He'd rather push Sam away than reach out to him. And blame N/n for your Mom’s passing. Well, that don't strike me as brave. You are a better man than your daddy ever was. So you do both of us a favor. Don't be him.” “Dean he’s right you have always been better than Dad.” Dean was facing the window he turned back to respond and I blinked and when I opened my eyes again I was in a room that I'd never been in before.

“What… the… fuck maybe I should have gotten my head checked out.” The room was traced out in gold and famous art hung on the walls. It looked like a room that would cost a thousand dollars just to get in. “This is real Y/n and you do have a small concussion. “Of fucking course.” It was Zachariah.

“So what is all this and where the Hell is Dean.” I gestured around the room, and then I noticed in the middle of the table were all my favorite snacks and drinks. “This Y/n is a waiting room and to answer your second question that you asked so nicely he’s in the other one.” “What am I waiting for?” “Well, it’s really to hold you from stopping your brothers.” He saw my confused face. “You know that face is almost cute, if we let you go you would try to stop Sam and we can’t have that.” “Why!?” “Because it is Dean’s destiny, not your’s. Your’s is to support from the sidelines because sweetheart you were born for the sidelines.” I never wanted a knife in my hands more. He picks up a drink and sips it in satisfaction. “Oh, I heard about your little spat with Castiel so Sad.” I didn't even have a comeback. “I'll come get you when everything is said and done… maybe.” He disappeared with his stupid smirk. I sat down thinking how the Hell I would get out of this one.

I pick up my phone and give Sam a call and of course no answer. At least I can leave a message “Sam I know you feel guilty about hurting us. But the thing is I already forgive you because I know you. You my big brother who has always been there for me, you taught me that it was okay to want something more than this life that we got sucked into because of Dad. I don’t think I ever told you but uh I was so proud of you for Stanford I am still. So please whatever happens know I lo-”

The message got cut off. I threw the phone and as I did it passed Cas. “I heard you got hurt.” “Oh so suddenly the distraction can get medical help.” “Y/n please.” “No, you know what Cas I have never seen you as a way to get things. I have always chosen this friendship over that! I don’t know what got in you but right now that doesn't matter I need you to bring me to Sam.”

“Have you forgotten what happened the last time you met?” “No. That's the whole point. He needs us.” “No.” “What do you mean, no? Are you saying that I'm trapped here?” “You can go wherever you want.” “Great, then I want to see Sam.” “Except there.” “Of course. Whatever screw you, I'm out of here.” I walk towards the door. “Through what door?” I look again and the doors and Cas are gone.

I pick up a mini-statue and start to hit the wall one way or another I was going to get out of here. I hit the wall so hard that dust flew in my eyes I went to rub them and when I went back the wall looked brand new. “Really! Fuck!” I threw the statue down and it smashed in pieces. “You and your brother could be twins with how you're like monkeys.”It was Zachariah. “Let me go.” “Like I said we can't have you stop Sam that is Dean’s job.” “I think that’s bullshit because why does it matter who stops him as long we stop… you don’t want it to stop do you?” “You're smarter than I thought and nope. Never did. The end is nigh. The apocalypse is coming, kiddo, to a theater near you.” He’s so smug in his words.

“And the seals?” “Our grunts on the ground -- we couldn't just tell them the whole truth. We'd have a full-scale rebellion on our hands. I mean, think about it. Would we really let 65 seals get broken unless senior management wanted it that way?” “And Cas is one of those grunts.” He laughs at my words. “You know this little friendship between the two of you was cute in the beginning but now it’s just annoying. Of course, he is, sweetheart I mean that’s all he was ever and all he is going to be.” “Why the apocalypse?” “Why not? The apocalypse? Poor name, bad marketing -- puts people off. When all it is is Ali/Foreman. On a... slightly larger scale. And we like our chances. When our side wins -- and we will -- it's paradise on earth. Now, what's not to like about that?” “What about all people in your pissing match.”

���Well... you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. In this case... truckloads of eggs, but you get the picture. Look... it happens. This isn't the first planetary enema we've delivered.” He sits down on the couch like it was a throne. “ “What about Sam? He won't go quietly. He'll stop Lilith.” “Sam... has a part to play. A very important part. He may need a little nudging in the right direction, but I'll make sure he plays it.” “What the hell does that mean?” “Don’t worry as I said that it is for Dean.” “Tell me something. Where's God in all this?” “God? God has left the building.” That left chills down my spine.

I tried to call Sam and Dean but of course, all I got was busy signals. It was like being a kid again being kept on the sidelines while my brothers and Dad hunted. I hated it then and now I despise it. I hear those damn wings flutter. “You won't be able to reach them Y/n.” “What are you going to do to Sam?” I asked him not daring to look up, already knowing the answer. “Nothing. He's gonna do it to himself.” “And what does that even mean Cas?” I finally looked at him. “Right I mean I’m just a distraction so why tell me anything.” I chuckled dryly. “I don't even know why you're here?”

“You are a not distraction!” “Really! What changed your Damn mind!?” “I thought about everything we’ve been together and you never used me for my powers I just didn't want it to end like this.” “What? Me mad at you because you hurt me. When you call someone a distraction you don’t just say sorry and everything is dandy Cas.” “I mean what does our friendship mean to you cause I'll tell you what you mean to me!” At this point, my emotions were in charge of everything.

“Cas you saved me, without you, I probably would have made a deal with the devil himself to get Dean back! You have been the one light that has not burned out on me. You're my best friend. I would take all the pain in the world for another second of banter from my brothers. Another Idjit from Bobby. Another minute of you being happy is what our friendship means to me, what about you?” I ended with tears rolling down my face. He didn't answer. “You know what my brother is about to die because of a destiny put together way before we were ever even a thought of our brothers I would like to spend my last hour thinking about my family instead with a spineless coward so go.” “Y/n-” “GO!” He flies and I fall to my knees crying out soul.

I didn't even know what to think or to feel. I am a whole mess of emotions. I was never going to see my brothers or Bobby again and … Cas. Damnit before I would say goodbye to any jackass who would be like this to me but Cas has somehow avoided my complete wrath and that only means one thing. But I didn't get much time to dwell on it until he showed up again. “Cas I told you-” Then he completely shocks me and shoves me up against the wall covering my mouth.

He takes out a knife and wow that is the last time I tell someone how their friendship means to me. Then he cuts himself. Zachariah flashes in “Castiel! Would you mind explaining just what the hell you're doing?” Cas makes a sigil and Zach flashes out. “Cas what is going On!?” “He won't be gone long. We have to find Sam now.” “Where is he?” “I don't know. But I know who does. We have to stop him, Y/n, from killing Lilith.” ‘But Lilith's gonna break the final seal.” “Lilith is the final seal. She dies, the end begins.” 

We grabbed Dean and we popped into Chuck’s house. Unfortunately, we popped in when he was ordering some type of service that included women's company. He sees us and is flabbergasted and disappointed. “Wait. T-t-this isn't supposed to happen.” The poor woman on the other end spoke. “No, lady, this is definitely supposed to happen, but I just got to call you back.” “St. Mary's? What is that, a convent?” Dean asked. “Yeah, but you guys aren't supposed to be there. You're not in this story. Especially you Y/n.” “As I keep being told.” I sarcastically say with an annoyed smile on my face.

“Yeah, well… We're making it up as we go.” Cas said looking at me and I gave him a small smile in return. At that moment the walls started to shake and bright light was invading the windows. “Aw, man! Not again! No!” Chuck yelled out. Cas turned to me. “I'll hold him off! I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!” “WHAT NO I'M NOT LEAVING YOU CAS!” I screamed at him. “You were right from before, you are my best friend and because of you I can freely feel. Thank you, Y/n Winchester” He grabs my shoulder and Dean’s. “Cas No NO-” We drop into the convent.

“Don’t worry Y/n I'm sure he's okay he's an angel he's Cas.” Cas you stupid son of a bitch for making me… “Ok let's go get our dumbass brother.” We run down the hall and what we see is not good. Ruby Sees us and slams the door with her mind. I knew that bitch wasn't really turned good. We ran over. “SAM! SAM!” We pounded on the door. “Dean wait wait ok 1…2…3!” We kicked the door open. “You're too late.” She said so smugly. “I dont care.” Sam held her. I grabbed the demon's knife and stabbed her.

“I.told.you” She dropped to the floor dead. In the middle of the ground next to dead Lillith a bright white light shot up and everything started to shake. Sam looks at both of us with a shamed look. “Guys I’m sorry.” Dean grabs our shoulders. “Guy’s let's go!” We run to the door and it closes in front of us. “Guys... he's coming.” This was it. The end times the devil and of course, we were right smack in the middle of but we are Winchesters we could do anything.

Well guys that was it I just got to spill my soul real quick lol. I just want to thank everyone that has read this story that has liked it and read it and looked at it. I am planning to do all seasons which might take awhile but it is my goal to make a great story to the best of my abilities. So excited for the next book. I love season 5 so much I don't know when the next chapter will be I want to focus on my other stories for a little while. But overall thank you for reading the first book of love, war and grace. See you y'all next time hopefully on my other stories but for now xoxo Gossip Girl ;) ;)

[dessertpanda]

Pt 3 goku x reader

The day had finally came, Bulmas birthday party was in full swing. "You don't thinks they're actually coming do you?" She looked nervously to her husband, praying that the familar faces wouldn't apear and spoil her mood. "Well Woman you did invite them and they did RSVP so." Vegeta answered with a snarky voice, He had told her it was a bad idea but she had refused to listen. "BULMA" Chi-Chi called, walking up the stairs with a guy attached to her arm. "This is Zack, He's my boyfriend" she smiled happily before leaning up and kissing his cheek. He was tall, not nearly as tall as Goku but still tall. She looked back to her friend and smiled, "I can sense their energy" Vegeta stated looking to the sky. Both Bulma and Chi-Chi stilled, "G-Goku? and Y/N?" Chi-Chi's fist balled as anger and jealousy started to over take her.

With Y/N and Goku

"MOM HOW MUCH FARTHER??" Goten complained. "Yeah Mum this is such a long flight" Trunks whiney voice followed. Y/N chuckled, the boys had started to call her mom the other week as a joke but the name just stuck.  "Aren't you both sayians? this should be a breeze." She looked to Goku for a little back up but he shared a tired looking form. "You guys stayed up late training again huh?" She asked, glancing at the three. "Whhhaaattt? No Y/N. I'm a responsible adult I would never let them" Goku made an attempt to defend himself. "But dad you're the one who asked us to help you with mmffmdf" Goten was quickly cut off by Trunks hand covering his face. " Dude shut up" Trunks whisper in his ear glancing between Y/N and Goku. She only rolled her eyes and continued forward. "We are almost there, maybe like 5 more minutes," she gave a forced smile. As they got closer her nervous where really kicking in. What if acting this way caused a fight?? She had no doubt that her and Goku could win but she hated the thought of having to hurt some of the people who where once Gokus closest friends, some even family. "Hey, It's okay. We are going to be okay" Goku gently took her hand, giving her a comforting smile. "Whatever you think is about to happen, we will face it together... All of us" He took a glance at the boys who offered their own smiles in an attempt to comfort her.  She took a breath before returning the smile, "Right we are a happy family" Her voice held no sarcasm only joy in remembering that fact. "Thats my girl," Goku smiled maintain her hand in his. "FINALLY" Trunks yelled finally seeing the venue come into view as  they approached.

"GOTEN, TRUNKS, DAD!!" Gohan called, quickly flying up to meet them. He gave Trunks and Goten loving nuggies before being brought into a group hug with Goku. Y/N only smiled softly at their actions, admiring their affection for each other. Spotting her father from the corner of her eye. She watched with wide eyes as he beckoned her over with his hand. Looking around ensuring that the wrench Bulma was not near, she cautiously made her way down to him. "Old Man" she greeted him with a straight face. At the moment she felt like crying as his cold stone face relayed no emotion. He starred at her for a moment before pulling her into a deep hug. "Hi little" He greeted her, digging his head into her hair. Oh how long it had been since he called her that, keeping up an act like this was tough on her. For a long time she thought he had actually started hating her but his affection, his hug, his uneven breath that she could feel on the top of her head, put all those worries to rest. "Hi Daddy" she whispered before hugging him back with just as much force. "I'm so so sorry" He whispered into her head, he pulled away and looked down at her to find tears in her eyes but a soft smile. Y/N sniffled slightly, but jumped at the sudden power spike from the boys who where now behind here. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MA?" Trunks was suddenly up in Vegetas face forcing him to take a step back. "Yeah Vegeta, you better have a good reason for making Y/N cry" Goku said, throwing an arm around her shoulder bringing her to his chest. "Relax Kakurot, remember how I told you we have much to discuss?" Goku's eyes remained sharp, "What about it?" He was now defensive, unwilling to deal with someone who had hurt Y/N so bad. "This," Vegeta gestured to the area around him, "Is all an act" To say the Sons, and Trunks where surprised was an understatement. "W-what, as in hating Y/N?" Gohan asked wanting conformation. "Yes, unfortunately.." "VEGETA GET IN HERE" Bulmas voice pierced the air. "Birth Giver" Trunks whispered with slight venom in his words. "I'M COMING WOMAN," He hollowed back. "That is the reason" Vegeta said before quickly walking back through the doors waving his hand for them to follow.

"Y/N what was that about?" Goku asked moving his arm so he could hold her hand. "Goku, I'm sorry I'm…" She looked at him with a face of guilt. "I'm under a oath that I can't speak of what I am or who I am," Her tears fell freely, "I'm so sorry Goku, I never wanted to lie to you but" Her face was cupped by a large hand. "Hey Hey Love, If there's something you can't tell me thats okay," He gently wiped her tears "I'll do anything, fight anyone to make sure our found family stays just like it is" He whispered his words making sure they sounded as sincere as he meant them to. "Thank you Goku" Y/N smiled her hand coming up to hold his, "I love you Y/N and I mean that in more ways than you think" He gave her a soft kiss on her forehead, made sure her tears where gone, then led her inside.

"Y/N how lovely, " Bulma was the first face they saw once they had entered. "GUYS THE HOME WRECKERS HERE!" she called out causing everyone's head to shoot up. "Please, feel free to socialize" She finished with a wicked smile. "Uh thanks Bulma" Y/N only returned the smile before walking away with Goku, arms interlocked. "Guess much hasn't changed" Trunks huffed holding Y/N as to not get separated. "Yeah, unfortunately you guys always end up in the conversation" Gohan said, glancing around at the glares that where being shot at the small happy family. "Y/N!" A female voice cheerfully called out. Looking around Y/N found Gohan's wife Videl walking towards the group with a big smile. "How are you?" She smiled taking Gohans arm and holding it. "I've been okay, but you know I'm a home wrecker so watch out" Y/N made fake claws and smiled with a grin, this caused Videl to giggle. "Oh, yes How could I have forgotten," She sighed shaking her head. "I really am sorry, you did nothing wrong" Videl tried to comfort the girl. "Oh it's okay, all I need are these three right here" she said glancing as her boys smiled. "We're doing quite alright" She shook her head as Goku leaned down to her whisper something to her. "If you're uncomfortable we can always leave" He gently kissed the spot behind her ear, Y/N reaction made Goku chuckle as she flushed red slightly. "Mama, I'm gonna go wonder with Trunks," Goten quickly took Trunks hand and drug him away from the four adults. "He calls you mama huh?" Gohan asked smiling at  Y/N, "I'm sorry, I had no intention of taking that role from your mother but I'd hate to ask him to stop because it gives him comfort" She lowered her head in shame. 'I should've stopped that damn habit'

"No no please, I'm happy he's found that comfort again, In all honest I don't think what moms been doing would be good for him" He sighed shaking his head slightly. "Oh Zack you're so funny" Chi-Chi loud laugh was heard approaching. "Oh your mom met somone?" Y/N asked happy  that the female seemed to have moved on. "Uh not exactly. see she keeps coming up with different men, at least once a month" Gohan sighed while looking down at Videl, "And the worst part is, she's not trying to move on she just wants to make you jealous dad" Looking up at his father who's attentions was focused on the approaching figures. " Well unfortunately, I'm quite happy" Goku's big smile was back and  he turned his head to acknowledge his son.  "GOHAN THERE YOU ARE" Chi-Chi yelled before dragging Zack right behind her. "Hon this is my son Gohan, he didn't leave me" She smiled completely oblivious to the others standing. "Gohan this is Zack my boyfriend" She was completely engrossed in getting the two antiquated and left out Videl, Goku, and Y/N who only took glances at each other before shrugging their shoulders. They watched silently as Gohan awkwardly tried to maintain conversation with the new stranger. "Oh yes very uh very interesting" Zack continued on and on about whatever he was talking about, while Gohan turned slightly eyes begging for assistance. However Zack seemed to have found another conversation starter. "Hellllo Doll," Zack quickly maneuvered around Gohan and approached Videl. Gohan slightly stunned watched as this whore man walked right past him and straight to HIS wife. "Hello baby, you are quite the looker" His voice was low and gravely, 'Gross' Y/N thought carefully watching the situation.  Gohan was about to intervine when his mother grabbed him and started to drag him away. "Oh Gohan I must show you" She continued talking and talking, "Wait mom, Videl" Gohan tried to get his words in but by the time he had processed the situation he was gone out the room and left Videl with Zack.

Yeah no thank you, please take a big fucking step back" Videl quickly put space between her and the creep, making sure her discomfort was known. Her hands instantly went to shield her stomach which caught Y/N and Gokus attention. "Come- on love, just a little talking" He smiled but his eyes held no good intentions. "Ah lets stop right there lover boy" Y/N quickly stepped in when his eyes began undressing Videl. "Oh you're" He looked at Y/N for a moment, "hey wait a second... You're the homewrecker" He looked her up and down as well "I see why he left her, so wanna wreck the home again" He attention was now completely on Y/N. "Actually, I'd like to wreak your face for those disgusting comments but my sons are here so I'd rather not" Her smile was sickeningly sweet but her eyes told a whole other ordeal. He was slightly taken aback by her look, it was murderous. "So why don't you run along and find YOUR girlfriend and leave us alone hmm?" She titled her head slightly and closed her eyes adding to this innocent act. "Uh yeah, bitch" He muttered under his breath before speed walking way. "Videl you okay love?" Y/N quickly went to condole the girl "Do you think he was any strong?" Goku asked, curious as to if he had found a new opponent. "Goku," Y/N sighed shaking her head slightly. "I swear he never changes" she whispered to Videl who giggled at the comment. "You sure you okay? I can still kick his ass" Y/N double check with Videl before bidding a goodbye and returning to Gokus side. "I don't like that guy" Goku said as he remained staring at the direction Zack had ran. Y/N would never admit it but at that comment her heart hurt slightly, 'Was he Jealous?' She worried that Chi-Chi's might be working. Her thoughts where interrupted when Goku cupped her face and bought it so he could see her eyes. "I don't like the comments he made about you," His thumb running above her cheek bone "Made me wanna hit him" He closed his eyes before presenting a bright smile. "Maybe because I love you so much" He giggle, Y/N felt her heart sore, Chi-Chi's plan was working, Goku was jealous but it was all working in Y/N favor. However she would still feel guilty at time, 'Maybe I really am a home weaker' 

"MAMA HELP"

DAMN THIS TOOK FOREVER BUT WORTH IT I THINK, HOPE YOU LIKE IT, :) ALSO FIND ME ON qoutev AT panda HAVE A GREAT DAY AND REMEMBER TO EAT,DRINK, AND LOVE YOURSELF BYEEEEEE

[shallowseeker]

srry for the giant wall of rambles I got too thinky bc I was chopping apples and having a suspiciously nice day

do you think cas actually likes bees or if its a fandom trait based on Crazy!Cas who liked bees because of the hivemind resembling heaven?

also i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

You're apologizing to ME about giant walls? Now, that is a little funny.

BEES & THE QUEST FOR MEANING I've gone back and forth on the bees, but mostly I think it's harmless, and I've made peace with the fact that I'm just not that into it.

Over time I've landed on putting the bees in a more biblical/theological space and leaving them there. I don't even think Cas liked them so much as he was desperately checking out of life and struggling to find meaning in a universe that felt monotonous and horrific -> the wars and sex and the unhappy dogs that can only think in ovals.

Because of his shame and depression, Cas could find no meaning or joy in the rat-race of life. He wants to be a non-participant because, “I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again.”

Here, I view Cas as Ecclesiastes. He was despairing over meaninglessness and the useless "striving of wind." I do think it was a motif that was 100% on purpose, too, because war, work, and career dealings are accompanied by fans, windmills, and industrial stirrings a lot in SPN!

It's very cool. It even appears in The Winchesters companion series, when Mary is facing her childhood!

//

Other Cas Things Interest Me More

Anyway, Cas and bees. Cas doesn't ever really return to them again after he moves past his struggle with his season 7 nihilism/meaninglessness. He seems more enamored with trash TV than bees. "I missed television," is the very first thing he says after getting out of Purgatory, lol.

He doesn't seem like much of an environmentalist either and seems perfectly willing to hand-slaughter pigs and eat shitty food. (To me, Lucifer seems like more of the environmentalist or even AU Zachariah from season 13's Good Intentions.) Or even Cain!

I think in later seasons, Cas seems vaguely aware of and attempting to be appreciative of the fleetingness of the time he has with his human family.

We see this theme in Naomi's words sometime in season 14 (I think?):

NAOMI: "Everything ends, Castiel."

We see it again in Cas’s words to Jack in season 14’s Ouroboros:

CAS: "The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them, you. When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them."

He also, unlike characters like Sam, seems to not get too hung up on agonizing over moral relativism -> judging from his words to Claire in season 10's The Things We Left Behind:

CAS: "Yes, well, um… Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far too easy to do your worst."

And then, there's also his words to Apocalypse-World Cas, "We're the same," & "Yes, we are."

My point is, Cas seems to have made peace with and understands that morality is relative to where your allegiances lie, and he seems good with preferring his allyship to humans.

He also seems to be more focused on the here and now rather than preserving the future indefinitely, which in my mind, goes with bees-as-work and bees-as-future.

You could argue that Jack changes that for him in 12x19 The Future, but I’m not sure… It still seems pretty family- and legacy-focused.

///

HEAVEN AS HIVEMIND This is another area where I really break from the fandom.

I don't view Heaven as a hivemind so much as I view it as a police state/military power, or else I don't think it would be structured the way it is. It's got this rigid party propganada, "We're heartless. Only humans feel emotions and true joy." I view it more as a surveillance state.

On the whole, I think Angelicity deals with the motif of epic, professional repression. On a lower level of existence, I'm reminded of the studies where men say they don't feel emotions but test as having them in equal or more intense measure when you measure psychological arousal and adrenal stress. I view Angelicity as a narrative exaggeration of traditional, brutal, stoic masculinity— a higher, Heavenly masculinity carried to its extreme.

It's got insanely brutal, inhumane emotional expectations. Grace, as my lovely father pointed out, looks a lot like traditional view on virility; it’s powerful and heals all sorts of emotional and physical ailments, but it’s finite and prone to performance issues.

//

In the show, practically every angel we see onscreen rebels, and angels are a huge motif for ongoing Civil War -> "brother against brother."

Despite what Lucifer and Cas and Naomi say, most angels are shown to have their own ideas, and on the whole, are shown to be reckless, angry, wrathful, impulsive, incredibly petty, and emotionally volatile.

I think what tends to happen is people hear the party line about heartlessness and obedience, and that clouds them from what the series actually shows us again and again: angels rebelling left and right and being brutally beaten down and lobotomized for it. (The lobotomies don’t even work all the way!)

Angels have constant, ongoing Civil War because they disagree with each other, even when there's only a handful of them left (Ex: Dumah Vs. Naomi in season 14).

Cas is not unique. That's the tragedy of authoritarianism. He only THINKS he is.

Cas's tendency to think of himself as unique and to think of his dealings with other angels as being "like teaching poetry to fish," is why he reaches for tyrannical god power in the first place. He thinks that, because they don't agree with him, they somehow don't have free will. Which is… kind of a flawed premise.

It's very complicated...but I think the reality is that until recently, Cas was right there with them, beaten down and hammered into shape. Hell, roll back a few years, and he'd have slaughtered himself alongside the others.

//

I think back to Anna's insistence that angels can't feel and are heartless, which is itself contradictory because Anna wouldn't have fallen in the first place if she had been emotionless to start with.

I prefer that she fell to be "allowed" to experience the emotions she probably already had…and had brutally repressed over eons of military dissociation and totalitarian training.

//

Being a soldier wears on you:

We see that, the longer Dean is a soldier, the more he too begins to lose sight of what is right or wrong. Season 15 Dean is so distraught and lost that he vaguely resembles season 4 soldier!Cas.

CAS: "I don't know what's right or wrong, or if you passed or failed here."

//

I LIKE YOUR COOL IDEA!

i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

Deep sea creatures and fungi are wicked cool. See, you have ideas! You should just write them. I'd read that. Deep sea creatures would make excellent demons too, what with the whole "absence of light" and being down deep and all.

There's something horrific about being alive on all levels, isn't there? We all have to consume something to keep going. One of my fave religious essays is called The Horror of Eating, and it posits that Gods are so scary to us because we naturally put them above us, with us as the food/sacrifice to them. Brrr. This is why the sacrifice motif appears so often.

I guess...as humans, we empathize and humanize our food sources, which is a big part of our incredible neuroses...

[azucarmorena97]

BTS as Cliched School Tropes || (Maknae Line)

High school's over and now, the real world is at their fingertips. Let's see how the boys fair at University!

Hyung line here

1.) Jimin: Theatre Kid

Highly respected in the arts department

is actually a huge nerd

guys call him gay all the time

he sleeps with their gf's not gay

only dates casually, has huge commitment issues

cocky

Curious about you... You stare at the cast list, mind whirring with so many different thoughts and emotions: panic, joy, fear, reluctance- you never imagined they'd actually pick you. There'd been so many girls auditioning for the role of Juliet, actress with even more experience than you. Could they have made a mistake? Could they really meant YOU for the part? "It's not a mistake, you know." You're startled by a familiar voice behind you. "Jimin," You say, turning around to face him. His expression is soft and warm; a stark contrast to the usual cold and calculative one he tends to wear. You motion to the list, "This is a lot for me to take in." He nods, "It always is when you're cast in your first big show." "I can't help but think they might've picked the wrong person." "The wrong person?" He furrows his brows, stepping forward so that he's only 3 feet or so away from you and the cast list, "You insult our judgment?" Immediately, you go into a mini panic, "I- no, that's not- that's not what I meant!" He instantly breaks into a laugh, "I'm kidding." You let out a deep sigh and give a small laugh, "Oh." "You know abouut 97 other girls auditioned right?" He asks, turning his back to the wall and leaning up against it. "Yeah..." Hearing just how many actresses it was makes you feel worse. "Yeah, so if we chose you out of 97 other girls, what do you think that means?" He raises and eye brow at you, expecting for you to catch on, though when you don't, he rolls his eyes, "It means you were that damn good!" Exasperatedly, he grabs your shoulders and shakes you, though nowhere near enough to hurt you. You blush, trying really hard not to focus on the fact that Jimin, your crush since last semester, was not only touching you, but also revealing that he was part of the group of people that chose YOU to be a part of their show. "Thank you..." You say, cheeks still on fire. He shakes his head, "No, don't thank me- thank yourself. You're the one who put in the effort; we were just smart enough to see it." You smile, eyes lowered to the ground. "Hey," He say, bringing his hand up to your chin and lifting it gently so that you were looking back up at him, "Stars should always have their heads held high." With a wink, he lets go and gets off of the wall, "I'll see you tomorrow at rehearsals, yeah?" "Definitely," you say simply, unable to think of any words at all beyond that. 2.) Taehyung: Geek

always has his nose in a book/manga/in front of a screen

virgin never had a gf

thinks he's ugly

oblivious to how many girls actually find him attractive

really dorky/socially awkward

really sweet and shy with girls "I'm really bad at this kind of stuff but if you tell me what to do, I'll try my best," You say, scanning the instruction sheet for the powerpoint you were assigned. There's a moment of silence before Taehyung clears his throat, "If-if you want, I can do the whole thing myself." You look at him and furrow your brows, "Don't be ridiculous. That's not fair to you." He shrugs, "It's not really a problem for me, I kinda like doing this stuff." You stare at him for a minute, contemplating whether or not to let him. "I don't know...I don't want you to do all that and get nothing in return. It wouldn't be right." Another pause, though this time, it looks like he wants to say something and just can't get it out. "Did...you have something in mind..?" You prompt. He picks up his pencil and begins lightly doodling, "Well, I...tomorrow night there's this Studio Ghibli marathon at the X-Theatre in the next town over and...maybe it could be fun to go...together?" It looks like the words are painful for him to get out and when he does, he doesn't dare meet your eyes. You're surprised by his request, especially since this was the first time he'd ever talked to you about anything that wasn't school-related. Your slow response causes for him to get anxious and he violently shakes his head, "I-nevermind. It's kinda lame isn't it? Just forget I asked. I'll still do the project, no worries-" He rambles, but just as he's about to continue, you firmly rest your hand on his wrist to get his attention, "Hey." He immediately stops talking and his eyes are fixed on where your hand connects with him, "I'd love to go." You see his cheeks turn red, even spreading to his ears, and a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, "Oh- Okay. I- thank you." You laugh, "Don't thank me. And I'm still not letting you do the project alone." He finally laughs with you, shoulders relaxing slowly but surely, "Fine. Together then."

3.) Jungkook: Art Kid

quiet/pensive

kind of a loner

introverted

fiercely loyal to the few he lets in

doesn't take compliments well- he doesn't believe them

You sit closely to the wheel, pressing gently down on the pedal as you get a steady spin for the bowl you're making. You bite your bottom lip, concentrating on smoothing the sides as you go. You've been at this for hours, having messed up the first three bowl almost at the very point of completion. If you mess this one up, you will be throwing yourself off a bridge. You near the phase where the other bowls were destroyed, so you decide to take your foot off and straighten out your back; gathering yourself emotionally for the next step. "Okay, Y/n, you've got this," You whisper, trying to hype yourself up. Right when you're about the put your foot back on the pedal, the door opens to the studio, giving you pause. Immediately, your heart skips a beat when you see who it is. Jungkook walks in wordlessly, black backpack slung over his broad shoulder, locks of black hair falling into his eyes and longer ones down the back of his neck. His short sleeved shirt showing off the intricate tattoos covering his entire right arm. When you snap back into reality, you immediately avert your eyes, shyness taking you over completely. You'd been in the room alone up until that point, and now that it's just you two, you feel you might explode. He doesn't seem to notice you very much; he just rolls up his sleeves and goes straight to the rack with unfinished, covered pieces. You don't think you've heard him say a word all semester- not that it stops people from trying to talk to him; especially not the girls in class. You try to get back to what you were doing but you're hyper aware of his presence in the room. You don't really know whether to put it away until you can come back later or to just stand your ground and continue working. You decide on the latter, bracing yourself for the pedal- but you end up putting way to much pressure and, to your incredibly dismay and embarrassment, the entire bowl comes flying off of the wheel and drops to the floor about five feet away. Immediately, you look at him and For a moment, time stands still; neither you nor Jungkook move, though his eyes are fixed on the sad, squashed little bowl on the floor. "Sorry," You say, though you're not even really sure why. Sorry for embarrassing yourself, you suppose. Suddenly, he looks up at you and you're shocked to see that he is not only smiling, but even seems to be holding back a laugh. You hardly know how to react, though admittedly, his laugh is absolute music to your ears. Without saying anything, you quickly pick up the bowl and then walk over to the slip bucket to dump it in. You decide you're done, not being able to take anymore embarrassment, but as you begin to untie your apron, Jungkook gets out of his seat, carrying the glob of clay he'd gotten earlier, and he walks over to you. You find yourself having to crane your neck up to look at him, and the way he's looking down at you- you can hardly stand it. "Try again," He says, a soft smile tugging at his lips. When you don't react right away, he reaches down and grabs your hand, fixing it so that your palm is facing upward, and he puts the clay in your hand; his eye contact doesn't break even once. "O-Okay," You say quietly. Slowly, he turns around and makes his way back to his stool, though this time, his eyes remain fixed on you as he waits for you to begin.

[americas1suiteheart]

Here's that Dad! Lemon x Reader, I hope you don't mind it being put into the form of headcannons and it being a Fem reader, but its all my brain can really do, aka; I've been getting a little lazy and headcannons and a fem reader are easiest and quicker.

Lemon As A Dad

[Dad! Lemon x Fem! Reader]

[Tumblr ruined the quality of my gif again🙄]

[Notes; This is the only Fem reader i'll probably make only because it was easier to do so.. For the sake of all of my bullet train fics of the twins, let's pretend that Tan is still alive because I don’t need reminders that he died🤭]

[Warnings; None, just more fluff. •❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

When you both find out you're pregnant, he's a whole mess of emotions. He's happy and ecstatic, he's scared, he's freaking out but totally calm all at the same time.

He immediately calls Tangerine to tell him and I can imagine he's just fumbling over his words and such due to the excitement. Tan is trying to calm him over the phone so he can form coherent words and its just not working so you take the phone and talk to him about it so that way Tan doesn't start to yell at him due to his short fuse.

Tan is extremely happy for you two, he probably would take you guys a basket of sorts. Just things to get everything started off.

I think Tan and maybe your parents and siblings if you have them would be the only ones to know. You two being assassins and all doesn't really mean you get to have friends outside of your job. Maybe if you're cool with ladybug, he might know, but apart from that it just stays inside of family.

He's already thinking of names and such, making an entire list of them in fact. You find it so cute how excited he is.

You have no choice or say so when it comes to the nursery, because you just know its gonna be Thomas and Friends decorated no matter what you say.

I think he'd be very protective. Making sure no one in public is overwhelming you when your bump is visible.

He will punch someone if he has to, no joke.

He is such a boy dad. Say you see what gender the baby is and it turns out to be a boy hes just beaming with joy. I'm not saying he wouldn't like having a girl, but he seems like such a boy dad, y'know what I mean?

He would 100% constantly be talking to your belly. Making you watch Thomas and friends with him too as if the kid could see it with you two.

"How are you doing in there little man," "Not much longer until your out of mummy's belly, kiddo. I'm so excited to meet you."

He's freaking out the entire time you're going through labor.

You're like, screaming absolute pain, then he's screaming too.

"WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING, LEM?!" "SORRY!"

You truly love Lemon but he's not much help for you as he's loud and probably more scared than you. He'd have a panic attack.💀

After the kiddo's out and he holds him in his arms, he's full on crying tears of joy it's incredible. He loves him so much.

When it comes to naming the kid though💀

"You two have a name in mind for him?" The nurse asks, smiling.

Lemon looks at you with a pleading look as you're holding your newborn in your arms.

"We're not naming him after a fuckin' Thomas and Friends character." You say sternly.

"We need some time to think about it," Lemon says looking back at the Nurse.

Eventually you give in and decide on Edward. I feel it would either have been between Edward or Percy.

Oh man just wait until Tangerine finds out about the kid being named after a Thomas and Friends character.

He's not upset about it because its not his kid or something he can control, but he's just a little bit disappointed you gave in to Lemon.

"Alright love, you can go on in, I'll get Edward alright," Lemon says, opening the car door for you and helping you out.

You had just been allowed to be discharged from the hospital, and you and Lemon planned to immediately head home and have Tangerine over to meet Edward.

You smile at him in response and head on inside of your shared home.

You go inside of your bedroom and change out of your current clothes into some comfier ones.

Once you finish, you walk into the nursery where Lemon was putting Edward into a Thomas and Friends onsie, grinning widely.

"Lookin' dashing kiddo! Let's go and show mummy now," Lemon says, picking him up carefully, making sure to hold is little head up.

He turns around with Edward in his arms and smiles even wider when he sees you standing at the doorway.

"Look at him, love. Doesn't he just look adorable in this," Lemon says excitingly.

"You can relax on the couch with Edward while I clean up darling, don't worry," He says, carefully handing you Edward and guiding you to sit on the couch.

"He looks great, Lem. Let's get the living area situated though, Tan should be coming over soon." You say, laughing warmly at the sight of the two boys.

You tear up a little looking at them, Lemon's already such a great dad.

You would protest but it would be no use, as it would only lead to Lemon forcing you to relax no matter what.

You we're grateful for that. You knew that some dad's would have their wives do all the work whilst taking care of the child sometimes, just sitting on their arse and being a useless piece of shit. You were glad that Lemon was the complete opposite. Stubborn, even.

Lemon cleans the living area as you sit down on the couch with Edward, admiring how much he looks like Lemon.

*Knock, knock, knock*

"That must be Tangerine," You say, looking up at the door as Lemon looks through the peephole, confirming.

"Hey Y/n, how are you doing?" Tangerine asks, sitting next to you on the side where you were holding Edward.

He opens the door to let Tangerine in, greeting him.

Tangerine thanks Lemon and immediately walks towards you and Edward, a large grin on his face.

"I'm doing better now, just a little tired but Lemon has been a great help," You reply.

"Thats great, how's the little one been doing so far?"

"He's been doing good. He's 7 pounds and healthy, there were no complications other than Lemon freaking out at the hospital while I was in labor." You and Tangerine snicker.

Lemon glares at you from the kitchen as he stocked the cupboards with baby bottles.

"Whats his name,"

You give a look towards Lemon and look down at Edward who was currently sleeping.

"I swear to fuckin' god if you two named him after a Thomas and Friends character," He says as he looks at Lemon.

"Its Edward," Lemon says, clearing his throat afterwards.

"Fucks sake you two are unbelievable, this poor kid," Tangerine scoffs jokingly.

Honestly though, Tangerine is such a good uncle. When I tell you its almost like he's there constantly.

When Tangerine isn't busy and you and Lemon just want a day to yourselves as a break, he's more than happy to take care of him.

Tangerine would 100% buy him a matching West Ham Football Jersey.

During football season, Tangerine is holding Edward and when the team makes a goal he's just running around with Edward in his arms in the living area as it fills with the sounds of Edward's giggling and Tangerine's cheering.

Tangerine genuinely loves him so much and would probably do anything for him.

When you go back to work and Lemon or Tangerine aren't available to babysit then Ladybug would definitely be down to do so.

Lemon is very obviously against the idea at first but seeing as you have no one else to do so that you trust, he finally gives in to the idea.

I feel Ladybug would just be great with kids too man, know what I'm saying?

Lemon would probably cry when the kid starts going to school and you know it.

Like, he's tearing up trying not to let any tears fall as Edward is hugging him, and he finally breaks when he hears the little "Bye, daddy!"

You have to calm him down the whole ride back.

He immediately wants another kid because the thought of his kid growing up scares him so much.

Lemon is just such a genuinely good dad though. Growing up without parents in the orphanage he wants to give his kid a better childhood than he had.

He would totally kill anyone if the kid ended up getting hurt or is in danger no hesitation at all.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

This was a little shorter than I would've liked but I think it was still decent. I just really needed to put some writing content out and get my drafts cleaned up. Hope you enjoyed reading it though!

Send in your requests for stories! Look at my introduction to see if anything you like is something I'll write, and DM me for further questions!

[imtrashraccoon]

Existential dream invaders anyone? No? Alright then...suit yourself...

@scrambledmeggys

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day.

Day 22: Nightmares

You blearily opened your eyes and rolled over to glance at your alarm clock. With a groan, you buried your face back into your pillow in a futile attempt to go back to sleep.

No matter if it was the weekend or not, you always seemed to wake up around six a.m. without fail. Sure, you could probably stay up much later or exercise before bed, but your sleep schedule was so screwed up from years of getting up early for college and now your job, that you didn't have much faith you could improve it at all.

After a couple of minutes, you tossed the blankets off and got out of bed to start your day. At least you could relax today and not rush to work like usual. Maybe you'd even treat yourself and make a latte this morning.

So you made yourself a healthier breakfast than you normally had time for and sat out on the balcony to watch the sun rise with your coffee. As the first rays of light passed over the mountain that gave this city it's name and bathed the world in light, you got an odd feeling that you couldn't put your finger on.

Something just felt...wrong.

Before you could question this feeling further though, your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the sliding door opening.

"Up early again, Ria?"

That voice.

You felt your breath catch in your throat and quickly turned towards the familiar sound.

There, still dressed in an old t-shirt and basketball shorts, was your best friend. He yawned and attempted to rub the sleep from his eyes, before flashing you a tired smile.

"You should really take care of yourself more," he chided softly.

A lump formed in your throat and you couldn't find the words to respond. "Terry..." you managed to croak out and went to reach out for him.

He didn't seem to notice how emotional you'd become all of the sudden and continued talking as normal. "Yeah, yeah, I know you can't control your sleeping patterns. Have you looked into getting something for that?" he asked.

"I... What? I sleep fine, what are you talking about...?"

"Eh, I'm no expert on that stuff. Forget I asked I guess." He ran his hands through his tousled brown hair and glanced out at the mountain thoughtfully. "Are you sure you're going to be okay while I'm gone?"

You stared at him as it occurred to you why he didn't seem to be listening to you.

This wasn't real.

It was in fact merely the memory of your last conversation together.

"Hey, don't worry so much, Ria. I trained for this climb for months and my instructor has been rock climbing for half his life. I'll be fine!" He turned and put a hand on your shoulder, although it seemed to phase through your body instead. "Tell you what, when I get back, let's do something to celebrate. I'll have finally achieved my personal goal!"

You wanted to scream and beg him not to go, as he wouldn't come back, but you couldn't. So there was no point; he couldn't hear you afterall. So instead, you just sat there numbly as he continued the one sided conversation.

The edges of your vision began to blur and mix together like static. You knew you were spiraling and yet, you couldn't bring yourself to surface. There was no point in going on. He was gone and here you were forced to sit through this pain.

Suddenly, you felt someone's hand rest on your shoulder. It was cold and wasn't soft like human hands were. For a moment, you felt a flicker of joy but as soon as you looked up to see who it was, your blood ran cold. While the hand belonged to a skeleton, it wasn't either of the two you knew, rather this was someone you'd never seen before.

He was fairly tall, maybe not quite as tall as Papyrus, but close. He was also less angular and while he had red eyelights like the brothers, his seemed to be more like a vermillion red. His mouth was lined with sharp teeth and his phalanges were far more pointy than either brother's were; they reminded you of needles or tweezers, although they were still thicker than human finger bones. He also had two cracks in his skull, one starting at his right eye socket and traveling up, while the other traveled down to his smile from his left, and his hands had holes in the backs of them. He appeared to be wearing a black trenchcoat with a red turtleneck sweater underneath, but you couldn't tell if he was wearing anything else.

The world had turned greyscale around you and time had seemingly frozen as well. Terence looked like he was mid thought but he still wore a happy smile on his face.

This was new...

Turning your attention back to the strange skeleton, you cleared your throat and managed to find your voice. "Who are you...?" you whispered.

He tilted his skull questioningly and his crooked smile widened at the sound of your voice. You didn't know if he could understand you but at least he could hear you.

He spoke slowly at first as if he was uncertain about doing so. Unfortunately, you couldn't even begin to figure out what he was trying to tell you. His voice came out heavily garbled as if his non-existent vocal cords had been badly injured at some point. He could also be speaking another language but you couldn't tell, as the closer you tried to listen, the more disoriented you became. For some reason or other, you began to experience an intense ringing in your ears that quickly had you doubled over in pain.

Thankfully, he seemed to realize how distressed you had become and stopped speaking. While it took a moment for the ringing to subside, you were extremely grateful when it did.

Pulling yourself together, you finally managed to stand up straight again. "I'm sorry... I can't understand you," you said.

He frowned slightly and crossed his arms. At first you thought he might be upset, and while that was still a possibility, he seemed more disappointed than anything if the way he looked down at you was any indication. It made you feel rather small, almost like a child, with the way his eyelights seemed to critically analyse you.

"Do you know sign language...?" you asked tentatively and signed the words as you spoke.

He narrowed his eye sockets as he studied your hand movements. After a moment, he brought his own hands up and began to slowly sign back.

"I am...a little...familiar..."

You looked around at the still monotone city before turning back to him. "Is this all just a dream then?"

"Of a sort..." He trailed off, seemingly trying to figure out how to explain it in a way you could understand. "You are experiencing a memory...within a dream..."

You nodded, "I figured as much, but that doesn't explain why you're here. The human brain can't make up faces without having seen the owner and I'm pretty sure I would remember meeting another skeleton..." You studied him thoughtfully as you trailed off.

His smile widened considerably but in an unsettling way that sent chills down your spine. "You...catch on quickly... I like that..." he signed.

You were about to respond, when a loud Crack sent you reeling and searching for the source of the sound. It turned out to be a quickly splintering tear in the middle of the air behind where Terence was standing, still frozen in place.

"What is that?!"

He turned to look and let out a stream of garbled words. "The dream is...breaking down..." he signed with a frown. "A shame really..."

"What do you mean 'breaking down?' Is that bad?" You tore your eyes away from the scar in reality, panic welling up in your soul, only to see the edges of his form had blurred and turned to static.

"It is...inconvenient... I will need to find...another way..."

"Wait!" You reached for him, but your hand passed through his body. "I never even got your name!"

He smiled slightly, "I am...the man who speaks in hands..."

You tried to ask what that meant but that same intense ringing from before began again, causing you to collapse from the pain. He lifted your chin to meet his gaze with the tips of his phalanges and once again spoke in that garbled tone.

W...D...Ga-

The pain became too much to bear and before you could figure out what he was saying, everything went black as the dream collapsed.

Find me...

< ~ - . - ~ >

The next thing you knew, someone was trying their best to shake you awake. Your eyes snapped open to meet the gaze of Frisk, although the first thing you noticed was that they were crying. That, and their eyes were glowing a bright red.

Your heart was practically pounding out of your chest and you felt like you could hardly inhale enough oxygen to keep up. Rather than worry about that, you pulled Frisk into a desperate hug in an effort to comfort them.

You didn't know how long you laid there holding them, but only once your heartbeat slowed to a more reasonable rate and their sniffling seemed to cease, did you relax your grip on their body.

Frisk pulled back so they could properly sign. "Are you okay?" they asked. You noticed their eyes had returned to their normal hazel shade now as well.

You giggled and poked their arm playfully. "I should be asking you that," you whispered. "I'm alright now, thanks to you."

Frisk smiled slightly and signed, "Good, you looked like you were having a nightmare."

"I guess you could call it that..." you murmured. "But what about you? You were crying and your eyes were glowing..."

This information seemed to surprise Frisk and they stared at you for a brief moment, before beginning to rapidly sign again. "They were?! What colour? Your eyes were glowing too! They were a soft purple!"

"Easy, one thing at a time, alright?" you chuckled. "Your eyes were glowing a cheerful red, but tell me why you were so upset, please."

"I had a nightmare too..." Frisk answered. Their excitement vanished as they seemed to recall what had happened, only to be replaced by a chillingly passive expression. "I don't really want to talk about it..."

"Are you sure?" you pressed gently, brushing some of their hair out of their face.

They nodded slowly. "I saw a bunch of bad memories...where you died a lot..." They paused for a moment before adding, "There was a skeleton with holes in his hands too but he scared me..."

You frowned slightly at that and rubbed their back in a comforting way. "I'm sorry to hear that...but it's going to be okay. You're safe here, Frisk."

Spotting movement out of the corner of your eye, you glanced over and made eye contact with Papyrus. He hesitated for a moment before approaching you and Frisk again. You sat up and pulled Frisk closer to your chest as you did so.

"Did we wake you up?" you asked him softly.

Papyrus shook his head slowly. "No, It Was Not You..." His voice sounded rougher than usual which was concerning to you.

Sensing something had happened to him as well, you motioned to the free space next to you on the couch. He sat down stiffly and after a moment, wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

"Frisk had a nightmare...and I did too," you murmured and Frisk nodded silently in agreement.

Papyrus reached over and gently raked his phalanges through Frisk's hair. "Ah, I Can See That..." Turning to them now, he smiled slightly and asked, "Would You Like Something To Cheer You Up?"

Frisk nodded again but didn't say anything.

You and Papyrus made Frisk a hot chocolate and worked together to comfort them. Eventually, they fell back asleep and so you eased them onto the couch, making sure to tuck them in as well. Only then did Papyrus pull you into the kitchen to talk.

"I Experienced A Nightmare As Well," he murmured.

You frowned slightly. "Did you want to talk about it?" you asked.

"Maybe..." Papyrus looked away for a moment. "I Think I Saw The Same Person As Frisk Though..."

"Wait, you did too?! A skeleton with cracks on his face and holes in his hands?"

He nodded slowly and so you asked another question. "Do you know who he is by chance?"

"I Do Not. I Would Remember Seeing Any Other Skeletons, Especially One Like Him."

You sighed and ran a hand over your face. "This is so strange. He tried to talk to me but I wasn't able to get his name before Frisk woke me up."

Papyrus was quiet for a moment but you could feel him watching you as you pondered what this all could mean. "Are You Alright?" he finally asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine..." you answered quietly.

He gave you a look that seemed to suggest he didn't quite believe you but rather than press further, he pulled you into a warm hug instead. "You Can Always Come Talk To Me About Anything, Precious," he murmured.

You nodded and nuzzled your cheek against his collarbone. "Thank you, I really appreciate that, Papyrus..."

[spidey-bie]

Ansi & Hobie

–Part 3

Birdie probably created this to be something happy and cute while I'm sitting here like:

I love giving my OC more trau- I mean lore. This is going so well and nobody's even that depressed. Lalalalala 😊. Anywho.

TW: Suicidal Tendencies, Self Harm, Sex Mention

Scenarios:

Have they ever seen Hobie hurt? What was that like?

Just small injuries so far. Nothing life threatening. Even then Ansi has to remind herself that no matter how prepared you aresometimes things just happen. She has to repeat this to herself or else she'll obsess over Hobie's injuries too much and fall into past compulsions.

There was that one time when we were kids that I caught him with a razor blade. I had to patch him up myself because he begged me not to tell my parents. I wonder if he still remembers that.

(He does)

Has Hobie ever seen them hurt? What was that like?

Rarely is Ansi not in pain. It's just the nature of having a chronic pain disorder and he's grown accustomed to it. It's the days when he's having flare ups or really bad pain days that it shows on his face.

The first time Hobie came over to find them lying on the floor, (Ansi thought he had the strength to get down and grab something off the floor. She never got back up), he was really worried. Ansi assured him that everything was fine but Hobie still insisted on helping in any way if he could.

So now if Ansi is having a high pain day where she's unable to move she just beeps for Hobie to come over.

Have they ever seen Hobie cry? What happened?

When they were kids he was very emotional. He still is but it doesn't show up as much unless he's with people that he trusts.

Has Hobie ever seen them cry? What happened?

Ansi rarely cries. After being punished for so much as frowning he learned how to repress his emotions. (Unless they're using them to manipulate people.)

The most recent time was when they were catching up back at Ansi's house after reuniting. Going over everything that happened in both of their lives led to them both bawling their eyes out.

Has one of them ever made the other cry? How did they make it okay?

Probably. They've both made each other cry for a number of reasons both happy and sad. But I can't pinpoint an exact memory.

What's their highest moment?

When Ansi comes to Hobie's world for the first time.

Swinging through Hobie's universe while watching the shifting colors and structures around you is an absolutely beautiful thing to see. Hobie's crew was so warm and accepting. These are people who have to fight for their lives everyday and yet they don't let that take away their joy.

What's their lowest moment?

I don't know. Probably when they both realized how corrupted their worlds were.

How do they feel about Hobie's blue laces?

He could care less.

How do they feel about Hobie killing President Osborn?

Hobie doesn't like talking about it a lot. Ansi still really doesn't care because he doesn't have enough information to gather an opinion on it.

(Even when she does get all the facts she doesn't care. It's not something that affects her so why does it matter.)

What was their first kiss like?

Ansi wiped her lips immediately after and was like never again.

The kiss itself was fine it's just the sharing of saliva grossed me out.

What was their first time like?

They've never had sex. I've changed my mind.

Terrible.

For Ansi a lot was happening at the time. Her grandfather and her mother had gone into hiding after evidence of their crimes at Alchemax had surfaced. While his father had been accused of being the mole and forced into a coma. For Hobie it was the anniversary of the death of the officer in his dimension. (Going off of @cqcophobiq's theory) They were both depressed and drunk and they didn't want to feel anything in that moment. They both regret it and have no plans on ever doing it again.

(They both thought that maybe they were demisexual but spoiler they're both still incredibly Ace.)

Do they have a favorite moment together?

There isn't a big moment. It's a bunch of small moments that they've shared together that they cherish the most. The day Ansi first sang in front of Hobie. The first time Hobie read for Ansi when she was stuck in bed. The first time Ansi cooked and Hobie was the first to try it. And he ate it all despite her mixing up a few of the spices.

What was their weirdest date/moment?

There's never a normal moment between these two. They have gone on outings in some really strange dimensions tho.

What was the moment they were most angry at each other?

It takes a lot to make either of them angry. It's very rare for them to get into arguments because they're angry. Most of the time their arguments are just because they have differing opinions but they're rarely actually upset with one another.

(I tried I really did but they're both so chill. I can see them angry but just not angry with each other. Like one of them making the other angry would require something that went against their character.)

When was the moment they were the most terrified for the other?

Ansi is worried about Hobie everyday. She knows that he's capable of taking care of himself and that he has a crew to support him but unexpected things do happen.

Hobie is worried about Ansi because he's alone in his world. Ansi doesn't have a support system aside from the Spider Society and it makes Hobie anxious.

What incorrect quote embodies their vibe?

Ansi: Why does everyone keep assuming we’re a couple?

Hobie: [sitting in Ansi's lap] Beats me.

Also a more sentimental one

Hobie: I knew you'd come through for me. You always do.

Ansi: Well, you said, Trust me.

Hobie: And you did.

But if we're being honest it's moreso like this:

Hobie: What, is the truth?

Ansi: Nothing. Matters.

Hobie: No Ansi. You don't believe that.

Ansi: Feels nice doesn't it. If nothing matters, then all the pain and guilt that you feel from making nothing of your life, goes away.

One wants to give the other a surprise (sexy or otherwise -) what do they do?

Hobie prepares a bunch of Molotov cocktails to throw at government or abandoned buildings for Ansi whenever she visits.

Ansi will occasionally tape himself singing speaking, or reading when he or Hobie has a mission that'll require them to be apart for long periods of time.

One wants to annoy the other, what do they do?

Whenever Ansi is lecturing Hobie over something (mostly about personal safety since Hobie won't ever wear proper equipment) and Hobie doesn't feel like listening to the whole spiel about how he'll lose a finger he'll lift Ansi in the air throw him over his shoulders and run. Sometimes it works and other times he gets an even longer lecture.

Ansi will just lecture Hobie for fun sometimes even if he hasn't done anything wrong.

One HAS to sacrifice themselves for the other. Who is likely to take the plunge? How does the other react?

Please don't.

Siiiigh.

Now they're fighting over who's gonna die since they're both so willing to throw their lives away 🤦🏾‍♀️. They're both suicidal. They both will willingly sacrifice themselves.

Whether through pregnancy or spontaneous adoption, your OC and Hobie now have a baby on hand - what are they doing?

Y'know the dynamic of a stoic character who gets a child and now has a soft spot for said child. That's Ansi. He looks like he's chill and cool about it but on the inside Ansi is stressing.

WDYM you found a child. WDYM we're raising a child now? Of course I love them and am going to protect them from the world and teach them to be a good person. But still like a heads-up next time would be nice.

He's glaring over in their general direction all the time. But that's only because she's planning out what toys she's going to crochet for this kid. She's going to give this kid all the love and support that she wanted as a child.

If it's a baby or a toddler she's already trying to reschedule her entire life to see how her she'll balance her spider work with child rearing. He's also redesigning his suit to fit in a baby carrier.

An older child like a preteen to teen tho? That's a younger sibling now. Ansi is barely out of her teens herself she cannot see herself as this child's parent. But he'll still love support and care for them. The only difference here is their dynamic.

(She's gonna have so many doubts and anxieties no matter how old the child is. He's always going to wonder if he's good enough to raise a kid. Thankfully Hobie's there and she doesn't have to do this on her own.)

Hobie is INSISTING your OC give him a piercing. He's adamant that they can totally do it. How do they react? Do they do it? How does it go?

Ansi did most of his own piercings. Excluding the lobe piercings her mother got her as a baby and her septum piercing that her Aunt did. (He's got 15 as of right now but he does them spur of the moment.) So doing one of Hobie's isn't gonna phase him. Aunt May ran a tattoo and piercing shop so Ansi has all the tools she needs already. Everything goes just fine.

Personality:

How do they like Hobie's music? Do they listen to punk music or go to his shows?

She goes to his shows but she's not a huge fan of punk rock. He agrees with the message but the music isn't quite his vibe.

What music does your OC like? Does Hobie like it?

Grunge. Hobie also likes the message of most songs but hates how dreary and nihilistic the lyrics of can be for others.

Does your OC make music too? Do they make music with Hobie?

Ansi likes to sing but she'll only do it in private. He'll help Hobie with coming up with songs but it's gonna take some time before you get him on stage. He'd rather not be in the limelight again after what happened in his childhood.

Any exes on either side?

Nope.

What's their political ideology? Do they agree with Hobie?

Ansi's main ideologies are anti-consumerism and anticapitalism. Her main goal is dismantling corrupt corporations in her world, starting with Alchemax.

What's one thing your OC and Hobie disagree on?

Their methods of protest. Ansi's is more silent and discreet. He's been a public figure before and he doesn't wish to ever be in that position ever again. On the other hand Hobie's acts of protest are loud and well known.

Do they ever argue? What's that like?

It always starts out fine it's the moment when Hobie's voice raises that everything goes downhill. Now arguing with Ansi is like arguing with a wall. Nothing is getting through to her and she's standing there absolutely silent. He's absolutely fine until there's yelling involved. Which is difficult since Hobie gets heated over things that he's passionate about. Ansi's lack of a response frustrates Hobie even more which leads to him either yelling even louder or just walking away.

How do they get over disagreements.

They'll wait until they're both calmer and talk things out. They don't always compromise but they will respect the other's opinion and choice.

Favorite personality trait about the other?

Hobie's hopeful outlook on life. It's one of the things that motivates Ansi.

Ansi's careful nature and her ability to assess and adapt to unexpected situations.

Least favorite personality trait of the other?

Hobie hates how pessimistic Ansi can get at times. He's working on it but sometimes old habits die hard.

Ansi hates how reckless Hobie can be. Some of his antics make him anxious.

How do they make each other laugh?

Stupid stuff. Just plain stupid stuff. They're so.....irritating. Mostly they do small things to inconvenience Miguel. The last thing that they did was reprogram everyone's watches so every time Miguel entered the room Hobie's rendition of Fight The Power played.

(If Hobie wants to make Ansi laugh when they're alone he'll just start dancing. It gets her every time.)

(A/N: I ain't proofread this yet lol. I'll be back.)

(A/N #2: I'm back. My work here is done. It took me so long to come together with this 😭. I skipped some more bits and pieces of Ansiniya's backstory into this one.)

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