#i've been trying to write but i keep rewriting everything i write cause i'm an asshole

[thewildones]

clarice + appalacian cryptids + wendigo's = a possible arc for this blog ?

yes .

[erinwantstowrite]

Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333

Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.

How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?

Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!

I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.

Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.

As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!

Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha

(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))

I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)

My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:

I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.

Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.

In another ask, startupkat asked me this:

And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.

I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.

This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.

Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.

Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.

This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.

I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.

Really simple example:

Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.

Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)

When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:

Needed to have:

More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)

Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out

What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)

Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past

Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa

Wanted to have:

Ned being a more central character

Natasha :)

Loki being a little shit

Tony and Cap bickering

Peter talking to Nightwing again

The last name Grayson

Gymnastics!!

(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)

When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.

I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.

That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):

scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.

scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.

scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."

scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.

Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.

Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.

I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.

As for other forms of organization:

Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!

As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:

Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.

Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"

Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?

Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.

My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.

And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)

I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear

[tartagluvr]

soo i'm rewriting nightbringer...aha

have you found yourself confused with nightbringer? annoyed at the whole 'you don't remember anything except yes as the player you do'? unhappy with the plot and or unsatisfied with how mc reacts to everything? have you ever wished mc were more emotionally open with how truly trying this experience would be?

well i have. lolol. so i've made it my lifes mission to rewrite and expand on multiple scenes of the game. essentially all the way up to ch11 because lets be honest i'm in my mammon era and broke.

before i explain further let me just- *flashes credentials

to keep this short and sweet, i'm finally giving nightbringer a try after getting over the devs no longer caring for swd like...a year too late. and well! i've just really not liked how nonchalant mc is in game with the whole 'oh no whoopsie you're in the past now and everyone hates you' thing. lord the way i would've asked diavolo to kill me on the spot in the construction of RAD. so i've been writing out more detailed fully-fledged versions of certain lessons. and of course i want to unleash that pain upon tumblr. guess i'm back for good now until i burn out of nightbringer due to how hard it is to get grimm :DD

i'll begin publishing them as i finish them, and will attach them to this original post to serve as a masterlist of sorts. though i'm not covering every single lesson, so if anyone comes across this and has a request feel free to let me know!! inbetween rekindling my love for animating in-game cards (mamzgf on tiktok!) and writing think pieces on nightbringer, my creative passion has returned.

final notes: i will be including some of my own personal headcanons for the story in here. a few off the top of my head, just in case they aren't your cup of tea: mc does remember everything when they are sent to the past. mc's powers being in a weakened state exhaust them to use, sometimes causing physical harm from the pulling of magic they do not own. solomon can freely go back to the present with barbatos' help, and does so from time to time to update the demon brothers on the situation. and a silly one, but the brothers find random historical photos of the devildom sometimes with an all too familiar looking figure in the back of them all :)

see you soon mc! -tete :3

- ch1; lesson 1-1 through 1-12

-ch1; lesson 1-17 through 1-18

-ch2; lesson 2-2 through 2-3 (coming soon!)

-ch2; lesson 2-5 through 2-9 (coming soon!)

[lunareel]

I know everyone seems more interested mario and luigi's relationship in 'mario and the phantom' au but I really wanna know/see more of Luigi and the shy-guys or Luigi and Peach.

I'm a very big fan of the whole 'taken in as one of their own' trope, and unlike with peach who like, doesn't remember her original family or human society and culture, Luigi does, which I feel makes the relationship between him and his adopted family and like place in the whimsical mushroom kingdom world even more interesting to delve into

I'm gonna hijack this ask, because when I was answering this, it ended up touching upon the problems I have faced in my writing and I want to keep you guys on the same page.

Originally, this was going to be under keep reading, but screw it. I don't want anyone to miss this. Because I have made major screw ups trying to make this comic while also learning a lot.

I swear this ends in good news. Just read through it first.

For the ask:

All three are very good in their own right. Personally, the one I'm most excited to show is Princess Peach and Luigi. I have it written to where they have two main chapters where they team up. One of them is Luigi and Peach tackling the TTYD adventure together and the other I am keeping a surprise! I'm only mentioning the TTYD one because I did spoil that in a previous ask. (Listen I'd like to have some surprises.)

I also have a script covering that exact topic where the two of them have a discussion on Mario's warp pipe and their respective feelings on their original homes. I haven't drawn it yet because I keep going back and forth whether it should be a standalone comic or in the main story. As I could see it working for either.

The shy guys, I actually would like to do a few standalone comics focusing on Luigi's early life with them. Specifically, I want to focus on his adventures and him dealing with King Wart who while he will not appear in the main comic has a pretty big impact on how Mr. L's reputation came to be. I currently have two of those comics story boarded which reveals this tidbit.

For Mario's relationship to Luigi, while that is very important to the comic it is not the only thing I want to focus on. I am not sure how many have noticed but for the header of the last short for this au where Peasley was featured I called it "The Phantom" instead of Mario and the Phantom as I realized while working on it, its been going more into Luigi's adventures with different characters. And I was worried by having Mario's name in the title would suggest he gets an even amount of focus. Don't worry the tag for this comic is staying the same though, not changing that tag for a third time, just don't want to mislead people when it is not solely focused on those two.

What I have learned writing this/experience so far:

I have learned a lot while working on this both good and bad. My initial goal was to have everything written first, then I go into story boarding, then cleanup and then posting. This way I could post pages weekly. I was thinking to myself "Yeah this would be the most efficient way to make this and it gets a nice schedule for it."

Oh man, I have never been more wrong in my life. I have learned that writing this has hit a lot of issues I've had with perfectionism which has led to causing personal issues I've had with myself to resurface. Like hot damn I did not foresee this at all.

It has been so frustrating working on this. More so in that I'm writing, and I say I'm writing it, but I still don't have anything to show because well it's just in the writing stage. Since I set the goal for myself to have everything written before I draw anything. Which has not worked out for me at all. What has happened is that I have been writing and writing, but then I end up going "Well, this doesn't feel good enough" so then I rewrite it, or worse I just straight up delete it. Then I begin to feel even worse because I have lost more progress than I have made. And there has been at least a month or two where I just stare at the document, start writing and then delete everything I have done because I am just so embarrassed and ashamed I don't have anything to show yet. So it feels like in a way I'm lying being like "Hey I am working on this, I can't show anything yet but I am working on it." But that's the problem, I just have text not an actual comic to show which leads back into the loop of being angry at myself for not having anything posted yet.

And I'm writing this to explain why it's been a while with no physical updates to show for this. Because when I make progress, I start to think it's not good enough or I don't like xyz about this thing so I scrap it and restart all over again. No joke I have four different documents all covering different scripts for the same chapter.

I ended up talking to my therapist about this comic because of how angry I have gotten with myself for this comic. Of how I just keep rewriting and rewriting and I don't get anything just done, because I keep telling myself I need everything completely written and done before I can start drawing.

I had no clue that working on this comic would bring up so many of my old perfectionist and somewhat destructive tendencies.

I know you're reading this and thinking, uhhh didn't you say this has good news. Yes it does, it has good news and here it comes.

My therapist has been working with me to find a better way to tackle my problems with writing. So that I'm not hacking and slashing at everything I make and so that there is at least something there to show. So that I can keep this comic fun (and safe) for me and share it with you guys!

Instead of writing everything all at once and having every single little thing done before drawing. I am going to just start tackling it by finishing the script of one chapter stop my writing there and instead of writing the next chapter I start drawing the chapter that I just finished. Then when that is done I start working on the next script. I really should've been doing this in the beginning, but you know first time doing this gotta learn somehow.

And so far I finally have a one main chapter script I am actually happy with. Which I have not felt for any of my other scripts.

Which leads me to announce that later this month (or early to mid August if life happens you just never know) the prologue chapter for this comic will be shared!! And I am so excited for this and I really hope you guys enjoy it! Going to be starting its story boards later this week.

I do want to make it clear though that this means that there will be gaps of time where the next chapter isn't shared yet (also let me be very clear when I say gaps of time it could be MONTHS, I have school, work and life along side writing this comic). I don't want to mislead anyone when I say that.

I am still figuring out whether or not to share the entire chapter in one go or just share it page by page, and how many panels is adequate for one page.

I'm trying to remind myself that this comic should be fun first and foremost and for this past year it has been fluctuating on that, but I'm still going. I'm doing a round two for how I tackle this. I am truly sorry that I didn't share this about writing this comic sooner and that it is taking me so freaking long. I have been so embarrassed and angry for just how long it has taken me to show anything for this.

So thank you guys for waiting and being patient with me. I have never done a long chapter by chapter comic before and I look forward to seeing where this goes.

I hope you guys will tune in for when I post the prologue later this month.❤️

[being-addie]

How to have a productive study session.

When your finals are in 2 days, and you've definitely NOT studied enough, it's normal to panic. You sit down to study and get a solid 30 minutes of calculus done, then jump down the rabbit hole called YouTube. Soon enough the dread creeps up because you're still not done.

As a girl who doesn't attend school regularly due to coaching classes I go to (I'll expand on this later), it's pretty easy to forget to study for exams and projects.

But there's nothing better than getting 98% on that exam. So I'm writing this as someone who's been scoring straight As all my life. Here's how to have a productive study session:

Note: This isn't a guide for romanticising studies. This is meant for a serious, productive session. I will, however, be making a guide to help romanticise studies because I've found it helps a lot.

Before you study

Identify what your distractions are: Let's be real, almost everyone has their phone on hand during study sessions. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb and keep it in a corner of the room. Add a few selected contacts that can reach you while your phone is on DND. If you can turn off notifications entirely, do that.

Taking measures: After I keep my phone away, my brain turns to the next thing it could be distracted by. My laptop and tablet. Put those devices in focus mode, so you won't be tempted to use any other apps and use a Chrome extension like StayFocused or WasteNoTime to not get sidetracked.

Resources: Make sure you have all your material on hand. Video lectures, notes, guides, your formula sheet, and flash cards. Keep everything on hand so you won't have to rifle through papers to find that reference sheet.

Your space: Clean your desk. Keep only the things you need. Your pens and pencils, chargers, annotation material and water bottle. If you want, light a candle. Do not clutter it unnecessarily. Your desk is a sacred space. Treat it that way.

When you sit down

The checklist: Do you have all the material required? Electronics, chargers, a snack and a drink? Water bottle? Extra pen? If you have everything beforehand, you'll be less likely to lose focus because you forgot to charge your headphones.

Make a plan: I cannot stress this enough. You'll sit down and just start studying, and next thing you know, it's 7pm and all you've done is watch videos on celebrity drama. Make a goddamn plan. Write down a realistic number of chapters you can complete and then STICK TO IT.

Begin: Reread and review your notes. I usually like to rewrite my notes in neater handwriting, because my handwriting in class is appalling. To really solidify information, I recommend the 'Blurting' method. Read a paragraph, then close the book and say what you understood out loud. Reread to see what you missed and take note. I did this for my history exam and got a 100%. This shit works for a reason. Use the Pomodoro technique to maximise productivity. Set an alarm for 25 minutes, and do intensive study. Once that's done, take a 5-minute break. Return and repeat.

IMPORTANT

Take a break: Ah yes, if you don't get up every 40 minutes or so for a break, eventually whatever you're studying will start looking like garbage and you'll be back to square one. GET UP. Walk around. STRETCH. You've been looking like a croissant🥐. Eat something. Rehydrate.

Forgive yourself: If you couldn't hit your target, don't be harsh on yourself. Find out the cause: Were you distracted? Did something unavoidable come up? Then try to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Study buddy: This is a double-edged sword. Studying with a friend can either increase your productivity by a massive amount, or it can help you get absolutely zero work done. When revising with a friend, make sure you study with someone who has the same goals as you and won't get distracted by things.

It's 2023, procrastination is cancelled. Go drink some water, eat a granola bar and finish that assignment you've been delaying. Be the person who finishes all their work, on time and perfectly. You can do it.

<3

[gaypirate420]

Curiosity here: {Discussion}

If you could re-write Jasper but keep 2 things about him, what would you keep? Besides appearance and gift! How would you explore this new version of Jasper?

For me, I'd keep his army past and Alice. But I'd explore how he changes over time and comes to realize how bad being on the Confederate side & being racist is. (I think you get it I'm trying to keep this short.)

Such as what makes him change and how he copes with his new understanding, and y'know the whole process of that.

Ofc, she comes into play too, maybe she's the catalyst that gets him to thinkin' about the topic at the surface, but it eventually goes deeper as she overtime explains things to him, and he thinks further on his own. IDK BRO I'm just thinking and wanted to read what you'd do. {Have a discussion.}

I'd change him shacking up w/ the Cullens though...or maybe their relationships with each other. I'd love to explore everything basically around canon while still being divergent to an extent. (Canon Related?)

He'd be the main character, but I think you already knew that if you read or at least skimmed this. But I have a terrible fear of people misunderstanding me. (⊙﹏⊙)

But yeah, I was just curious! I know a lot of people have done all sorts of things with him in Fics regarding his past and such, but I do always enjoy reading your responses to things.

This is just a purely hypothetical discussion. {If this was ever made that would be ambitious as hell cause like mf is like... 150 years old!}

I don't even want to think about all that time, and they never sleep either so like holy hell. So many moments of introspection and guilt and etc. to write I'd have a mental collapse. {But that's me when I write anything but also editing sucks ass.}

But not to mention ofc the huge amounts of research everything would take, and I am a huge perfectionist.

-Sincerely a mutual who tried to ask a few questions then freaked out over my own questions.

I'm making this anon now because I fear this ask now.

I think we have the same idea dear mutual!

(this is so fucking long omg I went off the rails, let me know what y'all think.)

I wouldn't rewrite anything, I'll just play it differently, I'll give it a nice depth.

I've always been on the side that just rewrite or ignore Jasper's confederate past is- not ideal. Yeah it's okay for a silly little comfort fic with your favorite vampire but not when talking about his actual canon characterization.

I would keep him serving for the Confederate army. I know a lot of people don't like that about him, but, I think it's a huge part of his character but there was something lacking there.

And what was missing is guilt.

Jasper, as to how he is written, and how we see the scenes of his past are played on both the book and the movie makes him look like he wasn't ashamed of his racist past or that he was even still prideful for it.

And it's so weird for me, how could this man who spent a century long depression, a self described "monster" a "nightmare" that just floods with self loathing couldn't feel guilty for not only taking someone's life but their freedom?

How could he feel guilty over killing the newborns but not black people? It doesn't make sense and it makes it worse, it makes you think that he, in modern times, it's still a confederate and also because vampires are "mentally frozen." He's not changed that much really then.

(I think Jasper lacking guilt and remorse about these fact about him is because of SM and her own views she not so subtlety spread all over her books though.)

So yes, I am keeping him as an ex-confederate soldier. Jasper was 17 so we are just to assume he was ignorant, and that's okay, we can live with an ignorant white boy for now. I cannot stress enough about how there is no need to make mental flips and splits to justify this choice of thinking in a 17 y/o southern boy from the 1840's. But, he gets to change, he, after the first years of him killing the newborns reflects about this, he might not be completely educated but he has the spirit.

Now let's talk about Alice.

I love her, but, if we are really analysing this then her and therefore the rest of the Cullens (because they welcome her and Jasper on their family) are okay with Jasper serving for the confederacy and I don't like that.

Why did Alice make him feel hope and all this shit and get him to change and learn a new life but didn't make him reflect on that maybe, perhaps, fighting for the enslavement of an entire race wasn't a good thing to do.

She says "you'll never be that again." referring to him being a vampire killing machine, not a racist, may I remind y'all.

So, I think the change would be about Alice teaching him things, Jasper spent so much time with Maria and then he was seriously depressed, I get the idea he wasn't interested on- going outside besides to feed from humans.

I think there are two types of vampires, those who love seeing humanity grow and change and come up with all these little inventions and then the ones who just see humans as prey.

Alice being the first and Jasper the second, but not for long after he meets her.

I think Alice could update him about the modern world that was the 50's, she would educate her that yes, Jasper's gentlemanly ways are charming and make her blush and giggle but there are some comments that aren't okay, just because in "his time" it was "okay", "funny" or "right", to say these things doesn't make them less offensive, dismissive and hurtful.

Alice would ask Jasper what did he felt while serving? And why? Was he even fully aware of what he was fighting for? Did the years of him seeing countless human's fight and go to wars that got bloodier and more destructive made him stop and think about the damage of his own army career?

Make the man reflect. Make him think for days and days about these questions he asked himself but never truly took the time to answer them. I need Jasper to have a slight mental breakdown before he gets to know the more peaceful life with the Cullens and Alice.

Alice asked these questions in her endless curiosity, not in innocence, but rather to know Jasper, really know him and understand him.

I want him to feel disgusted about having to feed from humans now that he realizes how much harm he did, and that's were the Cullens come in, Alice knows about her new family of course and it's more than excited to know her mate wants this life too, not because oh he's so in love with her he'll do anything (he is) but because he wants to change.

Carlisle let's him stay because he knows this, he understands in a way and he can't help but sympathize with him and Alice wanting to change herself and help her partner.

But Jasper can't fully because his body is asking him to kill constantly. He doesn't want to keep harming people, but his body can't forget, not only his body it's scarred as a reminder, but there's this annoying bloodlust that doesn't want to go away just yet.

But he has Alice, holding his hand and make him feel like everything will be alright.

Jasper is struggling but he is changing, he is getting more and more mental peace, finally, after a century and a half. It's slow, it's painful but it's there, self forgiveness and change.

One of the things that I love, a concept, Jasper being into philosophy, history and just literature, him loving to learn.

I love that in Breaking Dawn Jasper wanted to help Bella with her thirst. And of course I love him being hurt when she's way more successful than he is after so many years.

Seeing someone who you share the same experiences is so amazing, it helps you, but seeing them overcome this challenges that you also endure it brings you down on such a horrible way, it hurts you, but it makes you think of who you were before and how much you have accomplished. How much you've changed and that's my take on Jasper Hale.

I am not normal about him.

Also, I think I would change vampires not being able to sleep or cry, I think Jasper deserves both, as a treat :). I love him.

[yumomia]

hi i've decided im gonna pioneer this ship and also this fandom.

so here's my mia and me spotify playlist

here's my pinterest board

here's my ao3 account

this ship has a couple different names. miyumo, yumomia, and my personal favorite: the sunrise trio!!

enjoy my rambling :D

(i'm updating this post whenever i get a miyumo hugging picture)

fics i write! i'll try to keep this updated!!

the rewrite:

escape (a mia and me series)

Mia has magic. She’s not sure why, or where it came from. Like every high-schooler, she’s a little bit preoccupied with figuring out her crushes first. Unfortunately, with the attacks on the mystical island of Centopia, she might not have time to focus on that. Mia has to figure out how to use her magic, and fast.

the non-rewrites:

there will come a soldier by oriocookie

A Yuko character study.

love should never be kept a secret by oriocookie

Mia Marconi, a.k.a. Spider-Girl, is Centopia City's fearless protector. She's strong, smart, kind, and brave, putting her life on the line daily to protect her family and her city. And Mo and Yuko, her crushes. But that's not important. She's got a whole city to worry about.

hold on tight to this time, this place (cause everything you know will be erased) by oriocookie

There's someone missing. Mo and Yuko know it, they can feel it when they turn to talk to someone and they're not there, when they try to think back on the specifics of their adventures and are met with a gap in their memories. They just don't know who.

i’ll love every version of you by oriocookie

Since she met them, Mia’s always been drawn to Mo and Yuko. She never could have imagined why. We will be together again. I promise.

absolutely smitten by oriocookie

Mia never, ever expected to see her celebrity crushes in person. And she never, ever, ever expected them to like her back!

but that’s just a theory! by oriocookie

Mia is, frankly, a weird person. She’s cagey about her past and while Mo and Yuko love her, they get curious sometimes! Can’t sue them for it!

enchanted by oriocookie

"You don’t get it!” Mia yelled, holding her arms close to her chest. On one wrist, her treasured bracelet. On the other, the names of her soulmates. Mo Kiev and Yuko Lavigne. “Mia, I do! But you can’t fall in love with the characters from your book!” Paula said. “I know they share the same names with your soulmates. But you said they don’t have names on their wrist, right?” Mia refused to give her the satisfaction of being right. But no, no one in Centopia had a soulmate. Not even her elven self had the names from the real world inked into her arm. “All we’re saying, Mia,” Vincent put in, “is that you should focus on the real world. You could have real soulmates out there.” “I can’t believe this.” Mia fumed. “I’m leaving.” 

strongest shape by oriocookie

Mo wound an arm around each of them, thankful for the low light so Yuko couldn’t see the blush spreading across his cheeks. “I’m glad Mia’s our friend,” Yuko muttered sleepily from her spot under Mo’s arm. “She’s nice.” “Yes, she is.” Mo agreed. “Pretty, too.” Yuko said softly, and Mo looked down at her in shock. But Yuko’s eyes were closed and her breathing was light, and Mo resigned himself to talking to the both of them about it tomorrow. Mia and Yuko were both amazing, and Mo didn’t want to choose between the two of them. But with Yuko’s half-asleep admission about Mia, there was now a new possibility: Mo could love them both, the same way.

[itwoodbeprefect]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍

thank you!! ❤ sooo @actingcamplibrarian also sent me this one, and i'm going to take this opportunity to cheat (shamelessly!) and just. give another five fics. because there are more than ten of them on ao3, and because i can.

so again (mhuahaha), from five different fandoms, in no particular order:

-

Silly wrong but vivid right [sga, john/rodney]

i adore this now, but i went through a weird thing while writing it where i really loved the first half, and then i had to end it somehow and i came up with something that i didn't like very much, and i ended up posting it anyway because i still liked the first half a lot and felt it deserved to see the light of day. which is interesting to me because when i reread it now it doesn't feel wildly out of balance at all, and it all fits just fine, and i just still really really like the idea of 1) gay john getting some freedom and actually taking it, 2) rodney on the sidelines having Weird Feelings about it and drawing a very wrong conclusion, and 3) both of them still being idiots, at the end of the day.

-

Tell me the sky is falling now [starsky/hutch]

i like the way i opened this! and the way it ended too, and nearly all of what's in the middle. most of all though i like starsky Finding Out and being confused and maybe trying to freak out but hutch is right there, and he loves hutch, and he doesn't want to freak hutch out, and then he comes to some other conclusions, because it's hutch, and he's starsky, and that's the important part. this is one of those fics that i keep sort of almost rewriting in the sense that i have very similar ideas for a story and then have to try to figure out how to bend that new idea into a shape that's at least slightly unique so i don't actually end up writing a pale imitation of this one.

-

Cause if we’re all gonna die (Now’s the time to be alive) [h50, steve/danny]

in terms of my h50 fic this is definitely on the older side, but i still firmly stand by the headcanon behind this, i like that it has a good dosis of team banter, and it has some lines that i think of fondly from time to time, like this: He tumbles until he’s kissing Danny, awkwardly boxing Danny and his soft heat in against the cold and rough wall, not quite sure yet if this big bang is a creation myth or a mass extinction event. and, of course, taking the sappiness a step further still: Everything that comes after this point in time will forever be witnessed by eyes that have to send images off to be processed in a brain that also stores the memory of this kiss, which logically and inescapably prevents anything from ever being experienced the same as before.

-

Coming Up Aces [911, eddie/buck]

i don't know if i'd call this one a favorite writing-wise (at least overall - there are definitely parts that i do really like), but it does rank on a list of favorite fics i've written in the sense that, just. the way people connect with fic like this means something to me. and one of the things it means is that there should be more ace rep in (mainstream) media so people don't have to have these huge epiphany-like moments only while reading fic, but another is just feelings, big and warm and human.

-

Abandon your sad history (and meet me in the fire) [top gun, iceman/maverick]

top gun is A Movie, for sure, and i'd been trying to write some fic for it for a while when this finally came together. i loved playing with identities here, and the extended metaphors pretty much wrote themselves (iceman!), and every time i reread it and come to the line that mentions iceman is drinking an old fashioned while trying to fend off maverick's very queer advances i give myself a little pat on the back for subtle jokes.

[the-fiction-witch]

I am not sure how to start this, or even what exactly to say let alone how to say it. And I've already had a bit of a breakdown and a bit of a cry over this so I am trying very hard not to be emotional.

But here we go,

Recently I have started to receive comments, replies and Inbox asks not only here but across my accounts relating to the big bad.

AI

I am not going to be tagging or posting any account names or anything like that, I don't feel it fair and I don't want anyone going to these accounts and saying anything negative, and I don't want these accounts to feel bad for what could be an honest mistake.

But the long and short of it is that these comments, asks, replies etc. Are saying my work is written with AI.

I didn't want to say anything about this cause at first I thought it was ridiculous, and I didn't want to start replying to things like this, as I know it is a slippery slope before I start replying to everyone who ever says anything negative and I know that's never a good plan.

But I felt compelled to speak now due to the volume of stuff I am receiving as well as that other accounts are now starting to speak up for me and I don't want these original accounts to get any hate or any trouble for as I said what could be an honest mistake.

For complete and utter transparency, so I never have to answer these things again,

No. My posts are not written by an AI.

I am a real person, who really writes.

I use Grammarly as an editor which does have a built-in generative AI, which as far as I know only helps with spelling and I have used it maybe a handful of times to rewrite or help me edit longer works, but Generative AI with Grammarly isn't free its a part of their premium plan which I don't have so I know its not possible for me to use it much.

I'll be honest these comments have really made me upset because I put a lot of work into all my content and it really makes me upset to think people might find my account through one of these posts, see these comments and then not read anything else of mine assuming I'm an AI writer, that I put a lot of time and work into posting daily and making sure I have a backlog of content ready to be posted currently I work about a month in advance for a lot of things, that people are saying these things about me.

I have been writing on this account specifically since March of 2016, and had been writing on my last account for several years even before that. I have been making content now for over ten years. I am not even sure AI was around two years ago, let alone ten. I work for commission and most of what I post is legitimately work people have commissioned from me.

This is my job, my full-time job. That I have been doing through the thick and thin of a large part my life now. And... not to be dramatic but it is stuff like this that makes me wonder if I should stay and keep doing this, if I sit and spend hours of my day, every day, making content for the first reply to be accusing me of being/using an AI.

It just... makes me really not want to make content,

I don't want to stop cause so many amazing people that say such beautiful things that make me cry with joy, even feeling giddy just when someone reblogs my work. But it is stuff like this that sounds so loud against everything else.

But thats my two cents on the matter, that's my defence, my answer, and how I feel about it. And I don't want to feel the need to bring this up again.

Please don't go looking for these comments, please don't send anything to people who've made them, on here or any other site I've received them.

And as always more content will be coming in the following days.

[tacomedli]

rant abt writing and stuff

UUUUUUUUUUUGHHHGHGHGH

i love my book. i love the story i've created, the characters, the vision of it in my head, everything.

but my worldbuilding and plot and such have all changed so MUCH since i started writing it. i'm ok with that, since i have a better idea now of what i want the story to look like, and one day i'll probably go back and change a lot of things to make the cringey, confusing beginning flow a lot better.

here's the problem though:

i'm sharing this story with some irl friends as i write it. so they have to deal with this really shitty first draft that has me figuring things out as i go and changing the setting and time period and whether there's magical elements or not. because it was a modern time period at first! and now it's some weird dystopian steampunk something or other with a fashion style that i see very clearly in my head but i don't even know what year it's from! i see this world so well in my head but i don't know how to describe it in a way that i feel they'll understand! especially since it's changed throughout the story!

i really made this hard for myself. in some ways i wish i could go back now and get rid of some of the things that are bothering me and causing story problems, but that's also really intimidating to think about.

i know if i go back now i'll get all bogged down in the details, and i don't know if i can fully fix everything properly yet when i still don't know what i want the ending to be.

and i'm excited for where i am in the story. i've been on the cusp of these REALLY exciting plot points for so long, and now i'm finally, FINALLY starting to reach them! this is where the good stuff really starts! this is where i can start adding the scenes i wrote ahead of time months and months and even a year ago!

and i know the ones that care will stick with it, and honestly they're following along pretty well. i'm just ashamed at how much it feels like a jumbled mess. i feel like my stress is causing my writing quality to go way down, because the only way i can get myself to actually write is to say "it's okay, let the writing be shitty now, you can always go back and edit it later"

which is technically good advice in general for me, but lately i haven't been going back and editing it before i show it to my friends, so i just feel really bad. normally i love editing but with how jumbled my chapters have been lately (writing scenes out of order and trying to piece them back together, lines of dialogue i like too much and refuse to delete despite them causing problems, not knowing wtf im doing with this plot, etc) it's a nightmare just to think about, so i just. don't.

maybe i should slow down my update schedule. but i'm worried i'll be letting them down, even if only 1-2 reliably read it and leave comments anymore. i'm afraid that if i write completely at my own pace, i won't write at all. and besides, i NEED those few comments to keep me going. to remind me that someone else is actually interested in this book.

so i keep writing this way. "it's a mess right now, they're reading it as a mess right now, but one day, when it's finished, you'll go back and rewrite what you need too."

which is, like, fine. it doens't bother me TOO much, i think venting abt it helps a lot, but i really want to print a couple copies when this is done, but i dont wanna print the shitty version, i wanna print the fixed version. and im worried that i won't actually fix it bc i have at LEAST two other unrelated books that i've promised myself for literal years that i would finish/rewrite, and i think about those almost as much as this one, ie daily

so idk what will happen. i guess i'll cross that bridge when i come to it. anyway i hope i have the energy to edit this current chapter before i update bc my self imposed deadline is coming up very soon and this one's another mess lmao

[salad-006]

btw salad what's ur opinion on eddsworld legacy?

For the most part, i think legacy is Okay. It's not the Best, but its nice to see so many people come together to finish off the show. I can respect all the work these guys did, especially tomska.

If you came for my option on the season and thats it you can leave, because the rest of this is me going crazy mode

My only real problems lie with only 2-3 episodes, and it drives me Crazy because they're By Far the most popular, so they've caused the most problems. This one question ended up becoming a giantic essay SORRY im just passionate about ebbworld

Keep in mind these are Just my options, I'm not going to look down on you if you're the number one The End Fan. If you like it then Cool, you can continue to enjoy it. And i can continue to hate it over in my corner

I'm keeping this section on Fun Dead short, mostly because it's not really the worst offender

The "Obliviously stupid to progress the plot" trope is so bad here. They've seen zombies before how do they not recognize them now. I get them being oblivious to super obvious things is the joke ,but its just not funny

For a Zombie centric episode, there's barely any Fighting. I feel like big fight scenes are what people like most with these. But no we get a 30 second montage, one that's not even animated

They are such wusses in this episode id bully them if i was there i think

The End. Don't even get me started on The End. Legitimately i have never seen such a botched finale in my life. Fair warning this is about to get long and angry im sorry

Let me ask one question: how come in the Finale To Eddsworld Legacy, the season Dedicated to Edd Gould and his work, Edd Himself does not play a prominent role? I'm not even kidding, you could write Edd out completely and Nothing would change. Ive heard people say this was Tomska going out with a bang before leaving the show, but from what i know he also wanted eddsworld to be completely over at The End. If that's true he could have atleast let Edd shoot the harpoon or some shit, come on

This is such a disappointing finale overall. They don't do anything exciting. We just get to watch a little "do you remember this episode?" Montage, all the sudden everything gets crazy then oh! Episodes over goodbye forever.

An end fight might have been more exciting had it been set up properly. They gave us the bare minimum, which was having tords stupid little gang tag appear a few times then having two of his coworkers/soldiers appear a few times. That doesn't hint at a Tord being an evil meglomaniac who's got a giant fucking robot hidden under the house

FUTURE EDD CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AS WELL, AND HE WORKS GREAT BECAUSE HE SETS UP THE LORE IMMEDIATELY. Tords return gave us Nothing beyond "he is manipulating them!!" Instead we get the book dropped on us halfway through the LAST EPISODE OF THE SEASON without ever being given any sort of explanation. That's just it.

ALSO FUCK BRINGING TORD BACK AT ALL. the dude asked to be removed from the show and what did they do? Hinted at his return like 15 times then had him come back as this manipulative mastermind, whos got a bunch of science stuff and a russian accent. At the bare minimum you could have writtten him to atleast resemble something close to Tord. There's literally more evidence that points to him being a clone than there is him being the real Tord, and it WASN'T EVEN INTENTIONAL.

Took a character who had left with all his loose ends tied up, brought him back with completely new unexplained info, then ended the show with both the original and the new loose ends untied. I've read this was Tomska trying to write Tord out of the show for good, but he somehow managed to do the complete opposite by leaving him at a LITERAL cliffhanger. Now all the 12 year olds are @ ing eddsworld begging he comes back for a redemption episode.

I could scream forever about the end but ive already said too much SORRY. This is why im just rewritting it myself to make it good

One last thing: its somewhat heartbreaking to me how Legacy has totally overgrown the classic episodes. Of the top Ten most popular videos on the channel, Seven of them are legacy episodes, with Edds three episodes being at the very bottom of the list

I just don't like it. I dont like how legacy has become like the Face of what eddsworld is. Maybe it's just because Edds work has been one of the biggest inspirations in my life (if that wasn't obvious already) IDK it seems unfair

Tldr: i dont like what legacy has done to the series and the fandom, but it's okay for the most part. Fuck The End though

[highhhfiveee]

omg hi!

EVERYONE!!! 'tis i, faire, back with some news (and general words lol)!

what's up with me? quick little life update: working full time (we been knew) but got a new job i start soon! to be completely honest, this and the exhaustion i feel from it have been keeping me from writing ]: i am so tired after a day of work, i can't come home to use my brain again. i also have terrible time management skills due to my anxiety and depression BUT! i have started medication! i was already a little nervous to just because i didn't want it to make me feel weird, but i told myself that i have to try things before i write them off, especially if i want to improve my health [,: i took my first lexapro last night and it made me hallucinate lowkey so lets gooooooo!!!! lmao

what's up with safety net? safety net p5 is COMING YALL OMG. i know i've said that a million times, but in (once again) complete honesty, i was STUCK with this part. part 6 is honestly where everything kind of happens, so trying to make this part the set-up for that was driving me insane bc i didn't know how i was gonna do it. when i tell yall that i have so many drafts of different things that i wrote, plus the original outline that would've ended at maybe 10k words if i'd written it just like that. maybe one day i'll expose my different plans, but after weeks and weeks and weeks of ruminating over rewrites and other avenues to take, i finally made a final (very concise) outline that gives us the best of everything and i'm so exciteddddddd (literally brainstormed everything as a method of dissociation at work LMAO). it's a mix of what i intended originally with a new twist that adds a little bit more depth to the characters.....we're about to get into it y'all. everything isn't rainbows and glitter in this story after all

what's up with other fandoms? been watching invincible lately, and was wondering if anyone would be interested in some mark grayson stuff? his whole going off to college and not being able to be normal kind of made me start thinking....(really it was...something else that made me start thinking but i don't want to spoil anything for anyone watching s2 currently lmao WHY IS IT OVER ALREADY?????? just been thinking ab stepping away from jhutch a little (i still haven't watched detention, i'm so sorry) and doing different stuff to get myself back into being consistent on here! i'm also gonna start doing more bulletpoint headcanon stuff cause i can always just list things and blab lol.

sorry if there's any typos in this but that's about all from me at the moment. things are in the works [: see you all soon, hope you're all doing okie

[nexysworld]

hi i came from ao3 and i just wanted to say that guardian angel literally has been such a turbulent, EXCITING ride LOL. it’s so, so well put together. the dialogue is all so sensible and i just love every single detail you put into it. i read the discontinued one as well and to see so much improvement in your writing style, pacing, everything.. you are so talented.

i wanted to ask, if you’re not opposed to a little more expose since it’s not finished… can you please tell me a bit more about him and claire? when the jacket part came up my stomach literally turned… i love him but i hate him so much cause wtf i thought you wanted ME!!! lmao. anyway i loved it so so much and just know you’ve gained a fan for LIFE cause everything you write is just so true to life, vivid, and your portrayal of leon is so tremendously accurate and impressive. thanks for sharing 🩷🩷🩷🩷

also went anon cause i’m shy but i dropped a follow here and left kudos on like every single one of your works on ao3. cosnider me, idk, the leon to your mc. LMAO 🩷

Hi Anon! Thanks so much for this message it means a lot, truly. Guardian Angel is like my little passion project and I'm so glad to hear peoples thoughts on it. More than that, it makes me really glad to know that the work I put in to trying to improve has been worth it, truly. <3 <3 As of this point in time, I've even gone back through the already posted chapters of the rewrite to make some more edits to them, and I hope to have one big final version that's been thoroughly beta'd and edited. Keeping Leon in character (or as much in character as you can with this kind of story) was super important for me. I wanted to challenge myself to try and figure out how I'd think he'd react in these situations. And when you're seeing it from reader's perspective only without all the subterfuge and Leon's inner monologues he really does seem like this totally innocuous hot guy that lives next door. And I think that's how canon Leon would be.

I can't say too much on Claire just yet, because we'll find out more about that in the remaining chapters. 😉 But I like to think that basically they were end game after Raccoon City. But of course, they both hold a lot of trauma from that night, so things weren't perfect...to say the least. Now Claire and her fate will be revealed for sure, but I think suffice it to say that in some capacity her and Leon share a special connection. Trust that Leon does, definitely still want reader though, he's obsessed with her after all. 😏

[bullet-prooflove]

Donna’s Wednesday Radio Show Prompt List #21

It’s that time again! The Wednesday Radio prompt list!

I have an empty Ask Box so let's fill it!

Please check the updated character list on my pinned post to see who I am writing for before submitting a prompt!

Also do not forget to put the entire prompt into your ask!

And there's no one in here living Gonna make it out alive

How can I trust you after what I've been through?

Toying somewhere between love and abuse

Show me all your tatt's, not just the ones that's on your hands

I want this more than life

And the moon is out and the stars are bright

Why I can't move on

And so I came to see him, and listen for a while

The sun on your face

Can we take this off and get naked?

show up at your door

she sets the world on fire Just to watch the sucker burn

I could tell when you locked the door just what was going on

There must be a good reason that you're gone

he'd found my letters and read each one out loud

I don't need your sympathy

She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene

She said she never envisioned him the type of person capable of such deceit

I just like it when you grab my hips

Well, why, why did you mess it up?

I just heard you found the one you've been looking for

Baby, you're so anxious, you can't take it

We could take it to the kitchen I'll be on the island, come and eat,

You've had your chance, and now you want more

Touch me, baby

Boy, can we take off all our clothes?

Boy, you deserve a show

After we fuck, I'ma wanna cuddle

And I've been a fool and I've been blind 

Come on, baby, I can call your bluff

I love you, but I love me more

I don't wanna play no more, leave everything on the floor

Here to relive your darkest moments

Now it's safe to finish what we started

It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet

Regrets collect like old friends

You can leave open windows, don't care who see me out my clothes,

Singing my life with his words

Heels on, waiting at your door

Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision

And every demon wants his pound of flesh

Clue number one was when you knocked on my door

I like to keep my issues drawn

Light up your wildest dreams

I can never leave the past behind

Be something greater Go make a legacy

Now he hurt you and you hurt me

But I like to keep some things to myself

And I am done with my graceless heart

Kind of dress you're wearing tonight

Well, she moves like lightning

I really don't think you're strong enough

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style

don't give up, it's a little complicated

Say my name

First impression of you is you really like to party

Rewrite your history

So save your breath and Walk away

Everybody got a breakin' point kid

You try to tell me that we're so deep in love, Well, if we were, then why did we fuck it up?

Don't come back knockin' at my door

I am not the one To sit around, and be played

Do you expect me to believe that you've changed?

Told you before that love isn't enough

Strumming my pain with his fingers 

There's nothing you can say or do for me

You'll never see me cry

I overdosed

And that's when I knew, it was a pretty good sign That something was wrong 

I wish I would have known that wasn't me

Well it may be wrong but baby it sure feels right

Where did you sleep last night?

Cause I've had time to think it through And maybe I'm too good for you

Was she worth it?

Cause tonight you will be mine,

There's no talking to you

You'll never change for no one

he's holding onto you so tight The way I did before

And there ain't no place that I'd rather be

We don't talk anymore

Now put your hands up, this is a heist

Getaway car for two young lovers

It's so sad that you're leaving

Me and the girl straight out of town

You better throw a party on the day that I die

And we can't go back but you're here with me

Yeah, she's a genius (genius), watch and learn

[bonkhrnyjail]

hey gang, i did want to make a little announcement on here instead of just deleting everything with no explanation, so here goes:

i've spent the last couple of months heavily debating whether or not i should continue to write/post sweet plum. before pedro, the last time i was in a fandom space was back in 2011-2015 with 1d. i was a kid, and at the time it was commonplace to write fic about celebrities. i started writing sweet plum as an outlet for the absolute incomprehensible ravenousness i developed for pedro after watching the last of us and spiraling into the type of all-consuming obsession i haven't experienced since middle school. i started writing it in april 2023, started posting it to ao3 at the suggestion of my friends in june of 2023, and started posting it here as well at the request of a mutual who wanted to read the story. i joined pedrotwt in december 2023, where i pretty quickly learned that writing fic about pedro is very, very frowned upon.

at first i felt pretty defensive about it. i thought back to my old fandom days and how this switch in mindset felt like the complete opposite of what was encouraged in those days. i felt like i had a right to create what i wanted to, and knowing that i had a small but loyal following on ao3 made me feel more justified about continuing to write and post the story. i think a small part of me knew there was some validity to the concern, but the part of me that had worked so hard on the story and had developed such an intense connection to the character kept me in denial.

a few months ago i decided to take a break from sweet plum and try my hand at writing joel miller. i became pretty fixated on what i was writing, and didn't even open a sweet plum document for almost two months. when i decided i should start chapter nine, i found myself feeling uncomfortable and uneasy writing about pedro himself. i think taking some time away from the story really helped me gain some perspective, and made me realize that it is quite invasive to write fic about real people, especially someone who i love and admire so much. i wrote about him as if i knew him, and though i doubt he'd ever see the story, i can't imagine what running across something like that would feel like. if it were me, i'd probably feel pretty damn violated.

so with all that being said, i have decided to take the story down. i am considering a possible rewrite with dieter taking the place of pedro, but i am still unsure. i want to apologize to anyone who may have been upset by my writing and express that i have learned from my mistakes and will only be writing about characters from the pedroverse from this point onwards. i also want to apologize to those who were following the series, i understand the disappointment this may cause, especially considering the lack of body diverse fics out there. i am going to keep writing, and i will write more for us plus-size folks out there. i promise i'm not leaving y'all high and dry.

thank you guys. xoxo.

[synergysilhouette]

"A Wish to the Stars" (Aion solo; possibly just a draft)

Finally making significant progress on Act I of my "Wish" rewrite, and I realized I was neglecting something that "Wish" did as well: the friend group! Who are the Dreamers? What are their wishes? How does it motivate them throughout the film? Here's the answer to one of them. Introducing Aion, a Native American-inspired young man who lost his brother to magic and fears Talia will lose to it if he's not careful. He tries to keep up a bubbly attitude (most similar to Dario from the Teens), often using sign-language since the aforementioned trauma has him rarely speaking. Despite my commitment with Talia/Anselm's romance, I wanted our star to make friends with other characters as well, and the Dreamers are the perfect group. Check out the song I wrote for Aion's first encounter with Anselm (or rather, his energy; I do like the idea that he vocalizes similar to the voice in "Frozen 2"), and just how much he's been holding in. However, in reference to the last part of my title, I'm not sure about this song just yet. I kinda think I should go for something more theatrical; a lot of the time when I write these songs, it flows naturally, but perhaps that's too easy...And while I made a post about the characters before, maybe I should do a new one. Whaddya think?

(Verse 1)

You know I always believed in fairy tales.

A dream's a wish your heart makes.

You told me everything happens for a reason,

But what happened was a mistake.

You were incredible,

Talented, unforgettable,

So why did your story end?

"Let it go,

Forget it,"

But I still regret it,

It's the same as playing pretend.

(Chorus)

So I

I make a wish to the stars

That you can hear me

That you'll return to this world,

I miss you dearly!

If I lost my voice for real,

Could you return? That's the deal.

I would trade every part of me

So you could change the way I feel!

(Verse 2)

(Shuddering breath)

You know, they cleaned up your room

We don't talk about you now.

I can't say much of anything

I keep my feelings down.

But if I go the distance

Can I restore your existence

Find you in an endless sky?

"Be prepared,

You're almost there,"

When should I not care?

Your place in my heart won't die.

(Chorus)

So I

I make a wish to the stars

That you will return

That you'll ruffle my hair

And ease my concerns!

Second star to the right

Is that where you are tonight?

I feel a darkness moving in

Can you send me some of your light?

(Bridge)

Can I still chase after you?

I can't can't keep up.

Busy trying to fill your shoes

Please don't leave me behind,

I still got more of my heart to lose!

When will I start healing,

Stop this aching feeling?

The stars are gleaming, but I can't tell

What are they revealing?

(Chorus)

So I

I make a wish to the stars

'Cause that's all I've got!

Yes I have friends and family,

But to keep them, what is the cost?

How far will I go to face this danger,

To let out my anger?

And if I got you back, it's been so long,

Can I be healed by a stranger?