#i've never been told my identity doesn't even exist

[maidenvault]

During my last rewatch of the prequels I was actually shocked by how much I've misremembered or decontextualized certain moments in my mind because of how they're often talked about in fandom as showing the Jedi as too arrogant, too bureaucratic, generally just burying their heads in the sand while everything goes bad etc. So I'm gonna try to address every individual scene that typically gets brought up to argue that this is an actual theme in Lucas's portrayal of the Order.

The Council doesn't take Qui-Gon's account of meeting a Sith seriously.

Mace and Ki Adi Mundi do both express doubt this guy could be a Sith. (Understandably! Historically they've never known Sith to be able to hide their existence, and for them to have survived totally in secret for a thousand years is a pretty wild thing for Qui-Gon to be so sure of.)

BUT Yoda admits that the dark side is hard to see, and Mace assures Qui-Gon they'll do everything to find out the identity of the attacker. Later he's ordered to go back to Naboo and try to draw out Maul to discover more. Qui-Gon accepts this and doesn't ask for backup. Why should he? He held his own against Maul before, and Maul's probably not gonna show himself again to face a ton of Jedi. They end up missing the chance to learn who trained Maul because of how things go down, but Qui-Gon's death isn't the result of the Council mishandling the situation.

At the funeral, Yoda says the presence of one Sith means there's another out there. They know they've got to be on guard now and will be, but they've got no more leads for now.

2. Qui-Gon's not here to free slaves.

There's this idea that slavery existing on Tatooine shows the Order is apparently too tied up doing shady things for self-interested politicians (footage not found) to help the people who really need it. But Padme's shocked to know the Skywalkers are slaves for a reason. The truth is there isn't a lot of slavery in the galaxy at this time because the Jedi have helped keep it that way for centuries only by working with the Republic. In TCW we see that Zygerrian slavers have a particular hatred of Jedi because they're literally The Anti Slavery People and did so much of the work to crack down on their trade. But Tatooine is controlled by the Hutts and they simply don't have the resources to start a war with them.

(And honestly, it's crazy how people talk like Qui-Gon's a monster for honestly and apologetically telling Anakin no, that's not why he's here. This is a child he's already indebted to and who has a hero-worshipping idea of Jedi, it would be fucked up for him not to be clear about how he can't help him and his mom.)

3. They doubt Dooku could be behind the assassination attempt.

This I understand shows the Jedi to be a little naive. But they knew Dooku as a good man, and at this point he and his followers are still putting on a show of wanting to secede for idealistic reasons (and a few of them, manipulated by Dooku, actually do have good intentions). Only later do the Jedi learn they're illegally building an army before they've even officially left the Republic and clearly have no interest in the peaceful resolution Padme's been advocating for. And they only find this out because they have Obi-Wan investigate the assassin and this very quickly leads him to Dooku.

4. "Arrogance, yes. A trait more and more common among Jedi. Even the older, more experienced ones."

In context, this line from Yoda is clearly not meant to be taken so seriously. Obi-Wan says he fears Anakin is too arrogant, and this is Yoda's light-hearted way of telling him not to be so hard on him. Part of training a Padawan is learning to trust them so they can grow, and Obi-Wan perhaps needs the reminder that he isn't done learning himself.

Of course Yoda saying this could be partly motivated by them having been caught off guard before by the existence of Darth Maul and the dark side clouding their awareness, as we're told repeatedly throughout the PT they know is a problem. But it's kind of contradictory to take this as confirmation that this is a serious fatal flaw of theirs. If someone acknowledges their own arrogance then they're aware of their ability to be wrong, which means they can't actually be that arrogant. If truly meant in a general sense and not just as a gentle reproof of Obi-Wan, it's a pretty self-deprecating comment coming from Yoda.

5. "If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist."

Chief Librarian Jocasta Nu gives this haughty response to Obi-Wan looking for Kamino, a system that's not in the Jedi Archives. So being so overly confident in the infallible knowledge of the Jedi, he takes her word for it and totally drops this lead.

Except no, he goes to someone older and wiser to figure out what this actually means. And he and Yoda are forced to conclude that the unthinkable - a trusted person among them somehow had reason to erase information from the archive - must nonetheless be what happened. This is honestly an exception that proves the rule: Kamino, and we can assume only Kamino, is missing from the archive only because it was removed, which is so suspicious it just shows he must be on the right track to discovering something. Jocasta is kind of snooty about it but theirs obviously is supposed to be one of the most accurate and complete databases in the galaxy.

6. Obi-Wan doesn't believe what Dooku tells him about the Senate.

For one thing, in this conversation Dooku's lying about basically everything but this. And I can't ever stress enough that Palpatine is a threat unlike anything the Jedi have ever dealt with before, who's already taken control of so much before they even know they're fighting anything, so the idea that a Sith is controlling the Senate would be really hard for anyone to believe.

Still, we know Obi-Wan reports this to the Council anyway. But it's a vague statement and they still don't have any information to act on. Palpatine soon has them very busy putting out fires in the war, and naturally fighting the Separatists who are led by Sith seems the best way for them to get to the bottom of what exactly is going on with the dark side. And they do finally turn their attention to how power-hungry Palpatine is getting once the war is nearly over and they've got the bandwidth for it, and think about what they might have to do if he's the threat to their democracy they fear, but of course he's too many steps ahead of them all the time.

---

So basically, what we see the Jedi being so guilty of in these examples are thought crimes. When confronted with the crazy explanation that happens to be true, their instinctive reaction is "No, I don't think that's possible." And then they do their due diligence to uncover as much of the truth as they can anyway. And Yoda, the Grand Master of them all, is often the first to admit that their first assumptions could be wrong. But Palpatine wouldn't be a good villain if his moves were predictable and he couldn't get an advantage over the good guys - that's just how storytelling works sometimes and it's not that deep.

It honestly felt stupid typing so much of this out because it's 90% just describing what actually happens in these scenes. But I guess it's a lot to ask that people actually carefully watch the films they discuss. 😒

[indigovigilance]

Jimbriel, Satan, the Book of Life, and what it means for Crowley

Acknowledging that what we know so far about the Book of Life from various characters is highly suspect, I'm going to posit to you that Beelzebub is actually the true authority on the Book of Life, and that they bookend Season 2 with very important (and hopefully accurate) information about the Book of Life. With that in mind, let's take Beezlebub's S2E1 description and see how it fits with other canon evidence:

But what does it mean to have never existed in the Good Omens universe? For that, let us look to Satan.

From in-show canon, we know that Adam was able to retroactively change Satan's status as his father to not his father:

Adam altered reality, although Crowley, Aziraphale, the other celestials, and even Adam himself remember those events from a timeline that supposedly has been erased:

But Crowley nonetheless confirms that this is reality now. Satan was never Adam's father.

Additionally, though not technically in-show canon, we know from Notorious NRG that once Satan became Lucifer, this erased Lucifer from existence in the GO universe:

And Crowley's monologue in the bar drives it home; even though Lucifer no longer exists, Crowley still remembers him, and some key events that they were involved in together.

But a more dramatic portrayal of erasure is found in our favorite Good Omens himbo, Jimbo. In the trial of Gabriel, the Metatron makes direct allusion to the fact that Gabriel will no longer be Gabriel after his demotion:

Not "your memory of your time as the supreme archangel will be erased," no, it's:

Your memory of your time as Gabriel will be erased.

Whether he means to or not, Aziraphale reinforces this characterization of memory-loss-as-new-identity:

This can be taken simply as a safety measure, but Jimbo doesn't understand it that way and we see throughout the remainder of the season that Aziraphale is very consistent about calling his unexpected guest "Jim," even correcting Crowley when they're speaking privately and it wouldn't blow his cover to call him Gabriel:

But the final word on memory and identity, especially as they pertain to Jimbriel, again comes from our Lord of the Flies, Beelzebub:

All your you is your memories.

Altogether we see that there is significant in-show canon to support a theory that memory is inextricably linked with identity, and that when memory is removed, identity is so drastically changed that the name of the entity must also change... and the person who existed before, with that former name, exists no longer; it is as if they never had.

(But, as we see in the case of Gabriel, they can be restored.)

I told you in the title that this post was about the Book of Life: it is. Everything discussed here about memory and identity must necessarily characterize how the Book of Life operates, at least with respect to erasure. When someone is erased, they don't vanish, but they are so changed it is as if a new person has taken the place of the old, the way Jim took the place of Gabriel, until he got his memories back. But we can surmise that when someone is erased from the Book of Life, their memories aren't conveniently stored in a TARDIS/Ru Paul fly for later recovery. The memories may not be gone, but I'm going to guess that they would be extremely difficult (or impossible) to retrieve.

What this means for Crowley:

I think we need to give this scene a lot more credit for telling us how this universe works. Surface level, it reads as "you don't understand my trauma, and how I've been changed by it." Which is a very valid interpretation. But we can dig deeper and see that, given everything else we know about celestial beings losing their memories, names, and identities, Crowley is alluding to something far more horrific than just the scars left by flaming swords and halo-grenades.

These are the scars of a lobotomy. Something was taken from him, and he is aware of it.

He knows that his memory has been tampered with. Various people (Furfur, Saraqael) tell him that they recognize him, and of things they've done together. He has no recollection of them, but instead of getting agitated, he brushes it off and ignores it. This lack of questions from the guy who questions everything tells us that he already has the answers; not the memories, but the knowledge of why he doesn't have them.

Furthermore, when he's trying to get Jim to remember the something bad and Jim says it hurts, Crowley says:

I know. Do it anyway.

How does Crowley know that it hurts, to try to recall memories that have been taken out of your head?

Because he's been through it.

He has tried to remember, and some memories, like working on the Horsehead Nebula with Saraqael or monkeying around with Furfur, weren't worth the pain. Or perhaps it was pain on top of pain to remember what he had lost.

It is an especial testament to the cruelty of Heaven that he remembers going into battle, but not the bonds he formed with his friends. He remembers a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulfur, but not the work he did on the Horsehead Nebula, a thing that brought him joy.

And now, the person he loves most in the world, his only refuge from the terror of his empty nightmares, from his malignant and creeping sense of unease that something is missing, has gone back to that place where his identity was so horribly violated that he lost his name.

How will our hero cope?

If you liked this meta, you will almost certainly like my meta on Continuity Errors.

For my thoughts on who Crowley may have been before the fall, go here.

For my thoughts on how this pertains to Metatron, go here.

As I continue to produce metas related to this theory, you'll be able to find them all here.

[karniss-bg3]

The Tragedy of Faith

So between tumblr and twitter I've read various takes on Kar'niss and what draws people to him. For some it's the monster fucking appeal, for others it's the desire to fix a clearly broken individual. There are in-betweens and of course this is subjective and depends on the person. Act 2 spoilers ahead. Where my personal interest comes from is how good Larian communicated the tragedy of faith and what a cult can do to a person. Kar'niss is a creature that has been broken by not one God, but two. Lolth broke him physically, the Absolute broke him mentally. His entire identity has been lost to a deity to the point he raises her in his speech. Referring to her as "Majesty" and "Queen", two terms you don't really hear anyone else address her as, he has elevated her to his final savior and leader. He also often refers to himself as "we" and "us", cementing him as part of the hive mind rather than holding any individuality of his own. When he does refer to himself as "I", it's mostly to show further loyalty to the Absolute, to maintain a position of importance in his fractured mind. Cults are notorious for targeting the most vulnerable in society as they are the easiest to mold and manipulate to their doctrine. The fact that goblins are one of the main races that fall to the Absolute's influence is telling in that regard, as they are often dismissed by the other races. Kar'niss was ripe for the picking, an easy target to lure into her arms. No doubt he was found shortly after Lolth twisted him into a drider and banished him, he didn't stand a chance.

Not even taking those elements into account, Kar'niss came from a society that is infamous for cruelty and violence, especially toward males of their species. Drow greatest hits include, but are not limited to: -Killing their young if they are not aesthetically pleasing enough. In other words, ugly. -Sacrificing every third born son to Lolth.

-If a male finds the favor of two competing females, it often doesn't end well for the male. The rival woman will kill the male and chuck his dead body into his opponents bedchambers, just for the sake of being petty.

-Love and emotions of any sort are in short supply, if not outright unseen as a general rule. The nature of drow to backstab and seek to rise in the ranks makes it near impossible to be anything other than fierce and domineering.

With these things in mind, it's easy to assume that Kar'niss had a turbulent upbringing and likely suffered untold abuse from many around him. It's not to say that good or reasonable drow don't exist, it's just not commonplace in a Lolthite society. Unfortunately, the game doesn't give us a great deal to go on as far as his past. What little he reveals only happens after he's dead, and even then its really a cliffs notes version. What we do know is that his devotion is intense and unwavering. He's willing to die for the Absolute because in his mind the Absolute are the only ones who care about him. We even see fellow followers talk down to him, dismiss him, and verbally eye-roll the guy. To them, his fanaticism is over the top and they follow the same God he does.

All told, this leads me to the conclusion that Kar'niss has never, or rarely, known true compassion in his entire life. He's been used as a puppet for one deity or another, and likely mocked or cast aside even when he did everything right. It doesn't surprise me that there are folks who desire a romance option, or barring that a side venture to break him free of the Absolute's hold. We don't know if Kar'niss did terrible things in his past, or where his moral compass sits as his entire personality revolves around God. But I'd love to know, and I crave more background on him in one form or another.

I've spent too much time thinking about different paths that could happen in-game. I also understand it's incredibly unlikely he'll ever become a companion. The sheer amount of time and resources needed to give a character a satisfying arc is likely more than Larian can do with other constraints, but maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised. So Kar'niss lovers, platonic, romantic, or everything in-between...I gotchu fam. We stan the spooder bby. Someone get that man a blanket and a nice mug of hot cocoa. And a cult de-programming kit, one of those would be good.

[doberbutts]

I remember reading a post that men are the oppressor class so why would they bother to dismantle systemic patriarchy when they actively benefit from its existence? And as I read it, I thought, Damn, so an entire half of the population can never conceivably help us, and the people who love men in their lives are doomed. It wasn't a helpful post. It basically felt, here's some actual material analysis on feminism and said, That trying to educate and make men be part of feminism is fundamentally a flawed effort, because again, they are the oppressor class, why should they care about uplifting the oppressed?

And it made me think about this very good pamphlet I read, explaining how the white worker remained complacent for so long because at least they weren't a Black slave. And that the author theorized the reason labor movements never truly created exceptional, radical change is because of internal racism (which I find true) and failure to uplift black people. And the author listed common outlooks/approaches to this problem, and one of them was: "We should ignore the white folks entirely and hold solidarity with only other POC, and the countries in the Global South. Who needs those wishy-washy white fragile leftists who don't care about what we think or want?" (roughly paraphrased.)

And the author said, This sounds like the most leftist and radical position, but it's totally flawed because it absolves us of our responsibility to dismantle white supremacy for the sake of our fellow marginalized people, and we are basically ignoring the problem. And that blew me away because this is a position so many activists have, to just ignore the white folks and focus entirely on our own movements. I wish I knew the name of the actual pamphlet, so I could quote entire passages at you.

But I feel this is the same for men. Obviously, we should prioritize and have women-led and women-focused feminism. But saying that men are an oppressor class so they can't reliably be counted upon in feminist activism--it's such a huge oversimplification. And mainly, I'm a Muslim, and I've been treated with plenty of misogyny from Muslim men. And also plenty of misogyny from Muslim women. And I love my male friends, I want men to be part of the movement, and I dunno. Thinking about communities, movements, and the various ways we fail each other and what it means to be truly intersectional keeps me up at night.

I don't know the pamphlet you're talking about but I've read and been taught similar. There's a reason much of my anti-racism is so feminist and most of my feminism is anti-racist. Many people coming at this problem from a truly intersectional angle have seen that there is no freedom to be had without joining hands across the community. Not picking and choosing our allies based off of identity but off of behavior.

As used in a previous example, a white abled moderately wealthy man saying "wow Healthcare sucks in this country, why does this system suck so bad" should be told "hey, this system sucks so bad because it's built off of sexism, racism, classism, and ableism. You want to improve the system? Fix those things and it will be much better in the long run" and not "shut up you're a man. Healthcare is always going to be better for you". The second response doesn't fix that Healthcare is still a problem even if you are at the "top" of the privilege ladder. If we want true change, we have to dismantle the entire system at it's core and build it up without the yuck, otherwise you're gunna get to the top and realize this place sucks too.

Something something if the crabs worked together to hold each other up, they could all get out of the bucket and be free.

[tactfullyinappropriate]

This is part rant, part sex advice so read at your own discretion. Also one of those posts I'll get a lot of flak for.

In lesbian nsfw content on tumblr dot com one of the most prevalent sentiments is 'I want to pleasure my partner' (insert any variation on it) which is fair and all, and there are a lot of service tops around so it makes sense really. But. For some of us who have difficulty experiencing orgasm or even enjoying sex at all, making our pleasure the focal point of the experience is the absolute worst thing you could do.

It's a nice sentiment, I guess, but if it doesn't actually produce pleasure, is it really that nice? And before you come at me with 'some people really are just service tops and they get their pleasure from pleasuring their partner' - I get it, I do. As a top (or dom/me) you have the right to your preferences and you may absolutely refuse to tell your partner 'Your orgasm is inconsequential, I'm gonna fuck you anyway'. Not to mention that approach is verging on kinky and getting near mindfuck territory, which not every top (as in the person doing the penetration in this case) is comfortable with. Heck, not every dom/me is comfortable with that either - pretending to disregard your partner's pleasure can be a particular flavor of kink not everyone is into.

Buuut.. a lot of what I'm seeing here comes across more as a lack of real-world experience rather than a self-aware preference to focus on your partner's pleasure. Like for example, the amount of 'overstimulation' posts I'm seeing is just wildly disproportionate compared to the amount of women who can be forced to orgasm again and again, and again. This has never been my experience on either side of the dynamic, nor the experience of any of my friends or acquaintances. More often than not, women have trouble reaching a climax and can't really be "forced" into it.

Orgasms are not just a bodily sensation triggered by a certain type of mechanical stimulation. They require you to be in the right headspace as well. So if you actually want to bring about an orgasm, dropping the pressure may be (I want to say usually is) your best bet.

Look, I get it. I've been with women who come from a 2-minute clit rub. I didn't feel particularly accomplished with them... but they do exist! How wonderful for them and the people who just love pleasuring them. The rest of us however? 'Your pleasure is my pleasure' is the worst approach with us. Like, thanks, now if I don't come not only am I bruising your ego but also diminishing your pleasure? That's A LOT of pressure put on my fickle mental focus and unreliable vagina.

All of this is to say: it's fine to have your fantasies of overstimulating a partner to the point of incoherence. But be prepared that the reality of sex may be very, very different depending on how your partner's body and mind work. And sometimes, if your partner's pleasure really is that important to you, pretending it's the complete opposite might be the key to the castle - if you can get with that of course. Nothing's done a better job at helping me let go and experience actual pleasure than a partner's response to my 'I'm not sure if I can come though...':

"That's okay, baby. I don't need you to come for me to enjoy your body."

Um. Yes, Sir.

*I use the word 'woman' here purely based on my actual real-life experience so far but I'm sure this is applicable to a number of different identities. Even for some cis men orgasms are not as easy and effortless as porn makes it seem, I've been told.

[butchbarneygumble]

Imagine how I must feel as one of the only fans of Mighty Magiswords. You know. A headcanons-and-fanfic kind of fan. I even cosplayed Prohyas once.

Of course, it's nothing compared to what the actual victims went through... I'm fine. But it still felt like a part of my identity has been permanently soured. I don't want to seem like I somehow have it worse, that's not my intention. Nothing bad happened to me personally. I'm only posting my own side of how I deal with the situation, to get some closure myself and show solidarity with the victims.

I don't admire him anymore, and that's putting it lightly.

Full story under cut. Content warning for non-graphic discussion of csa.

The news came to me from my ex-but-still-friend. He told me privately, out of nowhere, just dropped it on me. Like, "Hey, sorry to tell you, but the guy you like got arrested for csa". However, I am glad he told me rather than me having to find out on my own.

The news hit me, and I felt nothing in my body. I usually would get this painful fight-or-flight all through my body whenever I read something that upset me, something I've been training myself to get better with. But right now? I just felt like... "huh. That happened." It helped a lot that Magiswords wasn't my fixation of the moment. And like... it's been like I've been slipping away from it. Like I didn't need it anymore.

More and more people were talking about him, and it wasn't positive. Who? Kyle.

I talked to him. Personally, like many people did. He never acted weird to me. I admired him. I loved his art, sent him physical fanart, all that stuff. I knew more than one person said he was not trustworthy but hey, he made a show that saved my life, so it was a constant struggle between feeling like I had to pick sides. I was going through hell by virtue of my dad being terminally sick and needing constant care, so I was gonna ignore the red flags and enjoy my silly sword show that brought me such joy.

Even if as time went on it started get harder and harder.

But you know what a certain depressed horse show said? When you're wearing rose coloured glasses, red flags just look like flags.

I now think dodged a bullet.

What emotions do I feel? Betrayal. Anger. Disgust. Disappointment.

The irony about it all. The sheer painful irony of blacklisting somebody for *drawings*, and then going behind everybody's back to actually hoard *actual* csa, and revenge porn, and all sorts of nasty stuff. For the record: there is nothing wrong with being put off or disgusted by specific sorts of drawings. But the irony here is what's most painful to me. I do not like people using this as a "gotcha" for either side of this tired argument. It's disrespectful to the actual victims.

People say I can easily seperate art from the artist if I want to but... right now I don't think I want to. He's in every pore of its identity. I do not want to talk or think about Magiswords right now, and I don't know if I ever will again.

It meant so much to me. Prohyas felt like Me. Being a goofy capable adult who doesn't stop collecting things he likes just cuz he's an adult. I thought I was trans for a while and the euphoria of relating to Prohyas helped that. Then he got lowkey confirmed nonbinary and I was over the moon.

It was good. Emphasis on "was".

And to the man himself I have one thing to say: you're another one in a long history of cartoon artists who end up being unsavoury, slimy people, taking advantage of young people, especially girls, in the animation industry. Not something to be proud of. I know we talked and you seemed perfectly okay to me, personally. All I can think is thank god it never went beyond casual chats.

I guess I can finally say I never liked the joke about Vambre not liking pants. Sure, sensory issues exist, but I doubt that was the intention of the design. I have deleted my sideblog where I chronicled ooc screencaps of the show and deleted my little spotify playlist of songs that reminded me of the show. I don't want to finish my longfic where Prohyas and Flonk fell in love anymore. I can't even change it into ocs because it's just so ingrained in the show's lore. So yeah, there's that.

I'll be fine. When the news hit I took it surprisingly well. I was going to an Alestorm concert and it was the most fun I had in ages. So yeah, I've got Christopher Bowes and His Plate of Beans to fill the void of comedy music. Was fixating on Simpsons already so there's that in terms of cartoons. I'm fine.

All I can say is my heart goes out to all the victims, and I'm deeply sorry I didn't see you sooner. I hope you can heal and have some semblance of closure now that he's gotten arrested. My heart goes out to all of you and again, I am so so sorry. I wish you all the love and healing.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What do you think about theory that Lila is Manon from future?

I am vaguely aware that this is a thing, but I'm also assuming that it's a joke and not a serious theory because that would be one of the most asinine things that I've ever seen. This fan theory is even worse than the pigeon feather thing in terms of absurdity. It should be reserved for crack fic and nothing else. However, this show never fails to impress me with its poor-quality writing choices, so let's take a quick moment to talk about why this wouldn't be a good twist.

The issue isn't the time travel thing. Lila being from the future is perfectly in line with the sort of crazy stuff that Miraculous does to the point where I wouldn't be shocked if Lila is from the future! Maybe Ladybug and Chat Noir "wronged" her and so she came back in time to try to stop them from being a thing or something like that? It fits her characters. Lila has been shown to be incredibly petty and, whatever is going on, it's clear that she came to Paris with an agenda otherwise why go the multiple identities and parents route?

However, if this from-the-future twist ends up being a thing, then Manon would be the worst choice for Lila's true identity because Manon is a well established character who shares no obvious traits with Lila. The only things that the two characters have in common are their hair and eye colors (or, at least, the hair and eye colors that Lila now has). Nothing else ties them together.

Yes, Manon does her baby-doll-eye manipulation thing, but that's not a sign that she's secretly a master manipulator or a compulsive liar! It's just a thing that little kids do. Boundary pushing is par for the course at that age.

For Manon to be a good baby Lila, we'd need to see Manon doing some actual quality manipulation tactics that trick people instead of just standard little kid pouting and boundary-pushing techniques. There's no point at which Manon is successfully lying to get what she wants. Her requests are always rather blatant and no one but Marinette falls for her "manipulations" because everyone else knows how to deal with little kids as we see in these two exchanges from Puppeteer:

Nadja: Alright, now give the doll back to Marinette. Manon: NO! I wanna keep it! Marinette: She can if she wants. I told her she could borrow it. Nadja: And that's sweet of you, Marinette, but Manon already has so many toys at home, I wouldn't even know where to put it.

Marinette: Manon! What are you- Manon: I left my bag here! Can I have Ladybug? Marinette: You heard what your mom said. Manon: She wouldn't know if I hide it!

Not exactly gold star manipulation tactics here. They'd fail if Marinette had a backbone.

Could you really picture Lila acting like this? I can't and that's the problem. Because Manon is an existing and well-established character, they have had time to make her into baby Lila. Time to set up the twist. But they haven't. They've just written your standard boundary-pushing little kid. Her behavior is really not all that different from Ella and Etta's (Alya's little sisters), so why would Manon be Lila and not one of them?

That's another problem. If you're going to have a big twist like this, then Manon needs to feel different from the other kid characters and she doesn't. Really think about this for a minute! As far as the kid characters' behavior goes, what's the difference between Puppeteer and Sapotis? I'd argue that there isn't one. In both episodes you see little kids pushing boundaries, leading to them being punished, leading to them getting akumatized.

In Puppeteer we get this:

Manon: But, Marinette wanted me to have it! Nadja: You disobeyed me. I told you the dolls were to stay at her house. You won't be needing these anymore. Manon: NO! Mommy, please don't! Nadja: I'm not happy about this. Wait for me here.

In Sapotis we get this:

Ella and Etta: It's not us! It's the—! Alya: That's it! (picks up the twins) Ella and Etta: Come on, Alya! We won't do it again! Alya: Yeah? Well, it's too late! (takes off both twins' propeller hats) We'll all go to the park when you can behave, some other day! Now go to sleep!

Extremely similar scenes with extremely similar outcomes.

Another similarity is Manon, Ella, and Etta's behavior in Simpleman. They're basically interchangeable in that episode, further killing this theory.

If this twist was going to be a thing, then I'd also expect us to see Lila and Manon interact at least once since we do let Lila talk to the kids on a few occasions. And if we didn't get that, then I'd definitely expect us to see a moment between Lila and Nadja or even a moment where Lila avoids Nadja. Anything to establish some sort of tie between Lila and this little family that she was once a part of. As-is, canon has done diddly squat to tie them together so I don't understand why the fandom is making this tie. Do people just really dislike Manon and want her to be evil?

In summary, Lila is - at most - a decade older than Manon, so we should see seeds of Lila already starting to form, but we don't. Lila holds grudges, Manon doesn't. Lila lies left and right, Manon doesn't. Lila plots, Manon doesn't. Lila hates Ladybug and Chat Noir, Manon adores them. In other words, nothing in the text backs up the idea that Manon would become Lila in a few short years, so where did this theory even come from?

[beanghostprincess]

I've been thinking for a while about why I like Sabosan so much as a ship (even though I don't talk much about them. My mistake, honestly. I should do it more). Because we all know that out of the ASL brothers, Ace and Luffy are the ones who seem to make more sense when it comes to shipping them with Sanji. But there's just something about Sabosan that makes me go insane...

(Long post)

Lusan is quite obvious: Captain x His cook. Cook who starves as a metaphor for selflessness and who's always giving instead of taking x Captain who devours the whole world because he appreciates selfishness and freedom but is willing to starve to save his cook. Careless x Anxious. Sun x Ocean. Both are always sacrificing themselves but Luffy is at least aware of the value of his own life while Sanji sees himself as dispensable. They both work so well together because Luffy sees Sanji as kindness itself and what a cook truly needs to be (keep in mind that food is crucial for OP's story and it represents happiness most of the time) and he makes him want to seek freedom and his own desires. Sanji is a dreamer and he's hopeful yet extremely pessimistic when it comes to his persona, and Luffy is equally as hopeful but he despises his nakama seeing himself as unworthy of being in his crew. They both get each other's weaknesses and strengths and, okay, Luffy might not truly get Sanji completely but he doesn't need to as long as he sees the kindness in him and realizes everything he does, he does it for others. While Sanji sees Luffy as an escape from the prison he's always been locked in. My beloveds. Perfect dynamic (not going to make a whole analysis because I already talk about them enough here).

The thing is, Ace is also a perfect match for Sanji for a lot of reasons: You see, I think we can see a lot of similarities between them, especially the ones Luffy can't understand by himself but can link to both. Ace's way of dealing with depression and self-deprecation is to lean on his brothers and find a reason to live on them. If they love him, then at least it will have been worth it being alive. The same thing goes for Sanji, I think. It's not that he's actively suicidal. I don't think either of them seeks death, but they do think about it a lot and what the world would be like without them. Sanji sees himself as dispensable while Luffy can't believe a word he's saying, but Ace? Ace understands. He's been years thinking he shouldn't be alive. That he was a mistake. And the same thing goes for Sanji, growing up in a family that constantly told him he shouldn't exist and even faked his death. Once again, same thing with Ace and hiding his identity from the world. Ace knows he's loved, even if he has a hard time admitting why people like Sabo and Luffy would love him. But they do. It's a fact, even if it's hard to believe. And he keeps going thanks to their love and to protect them. Ace, although his personality might seem cocky and selfish and careless at first (which it is, but you know), he's extremely selfless when it comes to the people he loves. He literally lives thanks to them. Sanji basically does the same thing. Both of them cope with sabotaging themselves and they don't really value their lives unless it's someone else (cof cof Luffy cof cof) the one giving them a reason to keep going. I think Acesan works great as a ship because, from a more psychological point of view, like- Ace was born to be a brother. His whole character is created and introduced as Luffy's brother. Of course, he's more than that, but his chill and laid-back personality with sprinkles of emotional maturity only comes from growing up too fast because he desperately needed to take care of his little brother. Sanji desperately needs that type of connection with somebody and instantly feels attracted to protective people because he has never been protected before. Sanji has only been hurt by his brothers, so of course it's natural that he's astonished when he sees Ace for the first time being oh so kind and loving to Luffy. That's what he wanted. And it makes his heart melt instantly. Besides, going for a more personality thing here, Sanji is pretty repressed (when it comes to his memories. His gender. His sexuality. His feelings) while Ace (although he hides a lot of issues) is wayyy more proactive when it comes to what he wants. Sanji is scared to walk on earth, and Ace takes the world as his personal playground because he wants to be something that people remember that won't include mentioning his father. He wants to do something for himself. And talking about fathers, even if their daddy issues aren't the same, they both have grudges. And you know what else they have in common? Their gorgeous, blonde, dead mothers who died for them. Instant bond. They fit perfectly.

Now, about Sabosan:

If we're starting with the things they have in common, this is gonna be a wild ride. Both are nobles born in a family that absolutely did not love them but wanted them anyway for different (failed) purposes. They both escaped from those families but people thought they were dead for a long time, and their parents easily just found a substitute for them without caring much about what happened. Saying they have trauma is an understatement. They both escape from those lives completely, form new bonds with new people, and start a family somewhere else. And then they have to deal with that again and, not only that but suffer from the beautiful survivor's guilt that comes from not being able to save their siblings. I know Sabo's survivor's guilt is even worse because his bond with Ace was way stronger, but I think there's a part of Sanji who feels awful for Reiju and what she chooses to be a part of when she's actively different from their brothers too. Once again mentioning the self-sabotaging behavior and self-sacrificing acts because they're extremely selfless and have strong morals that lead them to these things. It's fundamentally different because I think Sanji is way more of a feeler than Sabo, but-- But the core of their personalities really is being extremely protective of the things they love and their ideals. It's not only the fact that they could bond over their pasts (and could easily be the only people understanding each other completely) but also the fact that their personalities fit perfectly. They balance each other. They're not the most mentally stable people in the world, but I think Sanji's issues are more similar to Ace's, and Sabo would know how to handle them. While Sanji is a natural caretaker and would not hesitate to take care of Sabo's breakdowns and episodes (because, sue me for being realistic, I think this guy has a personality disorder and depressive episodes and a bunch of other stuff. Just like Sanji, really. I mean- To me they're a very people pleaser BPD haver who has probably an eating disorder and anxiety x very overprotective Bipolar insomniac with memory issues. Maybe that's just me and my headcanons).

I am not going to be a nerd about them. But I am going to be a nerd about them. *pulls out MBTI profiles*

Sanji prioritizes connecting with other people. He's extremely empathetic and his core needs are to be liked and to help others. His ideals are focused on the suffering of others and how to help them. He's very structured when it comes to what he wants to achieve, but he often puts others before his own needs instead of actually taking what he wants, and that affects him negatively. Not to mention his sense of depersonalization and hatred towards himself and where he comes from. And how that makes him sabotage himself and think he's not worthy of the love people offer him. This is kind of exactly what Ace goes through too and that's why I think Sabo would be able to help him. He's loyal and trustworthy and he would do anything for his loved ones and morals. Something that, again, matches Sabo completely. His sense of ethics is very intense and focuses mainly on empathy. He seeks love, attention, and praise from others. And he's also extremely hopeful for his dreams. He never stops believing in the All Blue or Luffy, just in himself. Which shows his sense of trust and loyalty but also his low appreciation towards himself.

Sabo, on the other hand, is a more meticulous person. I know he seems like he loses control often, but he doesn't follow his feelings as much as it looks. He's more logical and he doesn't follow what he wants but what he thinks it's right for others and society. That being said, he also will do whatever the fuck he wants if he feels like it because he's chaotic like that. He has very strong morals and focuses on finding solutions to the world's problems. Instead of focusing on one thing, he sees the whole picture and specializes in many things at once and chooses what to fight for instead of following his feelings. He often has to make difficult choices regarding his loved ones, and even if he would do anything if Luffy was in trouble when it comes to the greater good, he doesn't hesitate to do what's more reasonable regarding his ethics. However, he has a strong sense of protection and his anxiety also is a huge part of his personality, so that's pretty much when he loses control. He feels mostly responsible for what happens around him and always wants to be the one in control and fears losing the ones he loves.

The main difference between them, I'd say, is that Sabo is pretty much revengeful and his personality has a strong part of hatred towards humanity and the ones who have hurt him and society. His whole thing is fighting against them, too. Unlike Sanji, who even if he is able to hate people, he doesn't seem to be able to actually hurt them in a meaningful way because his kind personality makes him unable to do so (unless the people he's fighting go against his morals. Like having hurt a woman or wasting food or whatever). Not that Sabo isn't kind, but he knows how to stand up for himself and his morality and he can tell perfectly between right and wrong in a very black-and-white sense, while Sanji (even if he goes to extremes quite a lot) lets himself be used and he doesn't harm others the way they harm him (not to confuse with "played with" because Sanji is not that easily manipulated. He knows what's going on all the time. He just lets himself be used if it will protect the ones he loves or if it goes against his kindness and morality).

So I think (and this is the part where I explain how this relationship would work) that Sabo would be able to protect Sanji. It's not that Sanji needs protecting because at the end of the day, he can fight back and he can stand up for himself, but that's only when it comes to fights that don't have to do with him personally and only with his morals. Sabo has a very calm facade. A very gentleman-like personality, even if he's still as chaotic as his brothers. But he's more gentle. He's softer, too, in a way, because he analyzes what people need. He approaches things in a very protective but soothing way. Like, he could burn disgusting men alive for Sanji, turn around at him and say everything's fine and Sanji would straight-up believe him and then blush uncontrollably and then hit him for being reckless. In that order. I don't think Sanji likes feeling weak, because he has this thing in common with Sabo in which he doesn't like not being in control. But I think he needs this. He needs to be held and taken care of sometimes. He needs to let himself be weak around others. And Sabo wants somebody to protect because he couldn't do it with his siblings. I think Sabo would be gentle and patient with Sanji while also bringing silliness and the typical brightness the ASL brothers have in common. He'd be chaotic with him and Sanji would definitely get mad at him for stealing food or wanting to do the deed (keeping it safe for work my pals, but yeah, Sabo would be horny 24/7 and would not let Sanji cook. He wants to fuc-) while he's busy. But! But also Sabo would take care of him and would analyze the patterns. He would notice when he eats. What he eats. If he eats at all. He would worry about his sleep schedule and whether he's overworking himself or not (because surprise! He does the same thing). And Sabo would also love every part of him and have such deep hatred for the ones who have hurt him. I think Sabo would want to take revenge but Sanji would strongly refuse and Sabo would absolutely love that about him. "You're better than me, I would've set your family on fire. But this is what makes you so kind" type of thing. Basically, Sabo is fucking batshit crazy but he's silly and kind and talks like a revolutionary French man in the 18th century and Sanji loves him. Also, Sanji has a history with craycray people because Pudding is not okay mentally either and look at him, being down bad. Sabo loves Sanji for the same reasons Luffy does, he's just kindness itself and Sabo is so full of hatred that he truly, really needs somebody like him.

And Sanji? Sanji just absolutely loves how protective Sabo is. When it comes to his family and his friends and his morals and beliefs. After being surrounded by people who did not care about anything during his childhood and also being extremely scared of ending up being like them, Sanji appreciates that strong sense of protectiveness and the humanity that comes with loving something/somebody so much. That's what Sanji needs, basically. Sanji likes that Sabo is caring and gentle and always keeps an eye on literally everyone and everything. He likes the brightness and joy that comes with Sabo too, because he might be calculative but he's also impulsive when it comes to his needs and likes. Luffy might be the representation of liberation in a godly way, but Sabo is the realistic personification of freedom. And as much as I love Lusan and making religious imagery metaphors, I think those fit Zolu way more because Sanji needs to be realistic with this and Sabo is the one who can make him see life this way. He would also care a bit too much about Sabo's health because everyone knows it's fucked up and he's willing to die if it's for the revolution. It's not like he doesn't appreciate his life, in fact, he does. He knows he is crucial to society and can't die. But if it's for the greater good he would leave Sanji and Koala and Luffy behind and die. He doesn't want to do that to them and he'd desperately try not to because he values his worth, but... Y'know. It's not that he doesn't care about living, but he cares too much that he ends up hurting himself and overworking. And Sanji does that too, but seeing it from the outside with an empathetic personality like his is just... Painful.

So while Sabo shows Sanji how to be free and feels hatred for the both of them, Sanji is the kindness in the world Sabo is looking for and gives him something to put his mind at ease when it's filled with demons. And also, they get each other's pasts and trauma on a fundamental level that not a lot of people do.

I don't know how their relationship could start, really, but it could happen in a simple way such as: Sabo pays a visit to the crew (fuck the timeline btw, choose whichever arc you like or just ignore canon) and meets Sanji. Offers to help him cook (fails because he fucking sucks at cooking and he just wanted to help and actually he just ends up flirting with him and eating the ingredients) and stays with him to clean the dishes (something he can't do either because he won't stop talking and being overly distracted). And Sanji just- He's just so similar to both Ace and Luffy but in a more mature and gentle way, somehow? He brings peace to him but there's just something wrong with him deep inside Sanji can't quite catch, but feels connected to. Like they both just get each other, pretending they're fine but knowing they're not and also just enjoying each other's presence. Sabo feels captivated by the cook because he feels like there's just so much more he's hiding from him, and Sabo has always liked analyzing every little thing (<- writer behavior. We as a society need to talk more about how Sabo wants to be a writer canonically). Maybe Sabo starts visiting more often or stays for a while, but the thing is they grow closer because they keep wanting to know each other more. Perhaps a fight against some marines happens and Sabo goes full protective of him or Luffy and Sanji is extremely turned on by that (who wouldn't after seeing Sabo break skulls like eggs). And maybe they end up fucking, and it's not rough, but it's not extremely soft either? It's the perfect mix of possessiveness and care and somehow Sanji still feels in control all the way through. And I don't want to mention the cigarette of doom but Sabo lighting up Sanji's cigarette for him would be extremely intimate but also would make Sanji worry because every time this happens, he ends up creating a strong bond with that someone and something goes wrong. So they like each other a lot but there's always this layer of anxiety? Like they care too much for the other to say what they are but they refuse to lose each other. And Luffy either keeps telling Sabo to not still his cook or teasing Sabo for liking his cook, no in between. But yeah, let's make them go into a relationship:

Clingiest mfs on planet earth. Can't stand them. Sanji is down bad and is turned on by every little thing Sabo does but also can't stand him when he gets annoying and ends up yelling at him like an angry housewife. Sabo often takes that as flirting and starts teasing him more, being really into PDA and also being extremely soft. Sabo says the most romantic things in the world and expects Sanji not to fall for him??? Okay. But it's not only Sanji who blushes because then he keeps feeding Sabo his favorite food and smiling at him and Sabo suddenly feels dumb and weak in the knees and has the need to laugh like a high school girl in a rom-com. Sabo is extremely possessive and I think as a fandom we all agree on that, but it's not even in a toxic way. Sanji likes it. Let them be like that. And as I said, they'd take care of each other when one is overworking himself or having nightmares or not being able to sleep or function properly. They'd be each other's anchors and they would completely understand the other.

I don't know, I just think they fit perfectly <3 Killer Queen and Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy? Yes. Anti-Hero and Mastermind? Yes. Sky x Ocean? Of course, fuck other dynamics, this one hits different. They mean the world to me 🩵💙🩵💙🩵

To end this, I gotta say that they also look extremely hot together. I think the post would've been shorter if I just said I want both of them to kiss because it would look good, but I love analyzing the shit out of my favorite characters.

Tagging my awesome mootie @tinukis because he gave me the idea for a Sabosan analysis!!!! Thought you might be interested <3 Also, here's the post that made me think about it !!!!

[featherwingfae]

So the nonhuman theme of the day that I've been seeing on the Internet seems to be self doubt both due to internal and external influences.

My response to this theme is this. You are who you are. And no one can tell you who you are but you. (The rest of the post is pretty much just this^^ in way more detail than necessary. You have been warned lol. Buckle up this is gonna be a long one. Literally took all day to write 😅)

Most of us live in a society where we've been told since infancy who we are are and what we must be, and if we don't fit in the predesignated boxes then there must be something wrong with us and we just need to be forced into a box. But just think about the vastness of life for a second. From macro to micro there's just so much to everything it's breathtaking. Everything is layered. Why should one being's existence be any different. There is what is seen and then there is everything else. Some thing's don't need to be understood by others, because they are not there for others. They are simply there. Wether we understand them or not. And that in itself (I think) is quite lovely.

I am Fae. Not just because of ______. I am Fae because it is simply what I am. It's what feels right.

It's ok to just exist. It's ok to live without ever fitting into boxes or labels. And if you find a label or box that fits you, that's ok too. It's your existence. Do what makes you happy. I've also found that sometimes, finding that feeling that you fit somewhere, comes first and the reasons why come after. Be patient. I know it's maddening sometimes when you've got a million questions bumping about in your head, or even just one or two burning ones, but life is a journey. A mystery to uncover through experiences.

I could give you a whole laundry list of reasons why I can call myself Fae. But at the end of the day, the only reason I need is that it feels right. I don't need to act like the stereotypical Fae (from folklore, media etc), I don't need to have magical experiences, I don't need memories. Keep in mind that your nonhuman identity does not need to match anyone else's.

If you're a Fae who loves technology and finds the modern age fascinating. Guess what? There's nothing wrong with that. (I LOVE Minecraft 😁 Though that may or may not have to do with the fact that I get to fly around and build whatever I want from nothing. Yes I'm obsessed with creative mode 😅 I usually get bored in survival)

If you're a Therian who's never enjoyed being on all fours or who doesn't like gear. It doesn't make you any less Therian. Do what makes you happy 😊.

If you're some ancient entity and you use an ungodly (hehe) amount of emojis and/or abbreviations (ex. Lol, omg, etc) it doesn't make you any less ancient or awesome. Do what you enjoy. You are too old to not be having as much fun as you can experience. I'm also an ancient creature, you really think I want to spend my time not doing what makes the happy chemicals 😊✨👁️🪽😁.

If you're an Alien who's not obsessed with space stuff. That's ok. Human portrayals probably don't do it justice anyway, and there's so many other things to be interested in. Like have you seen mushrooms? Those funky little guys come in so many varieties it's absolutely delightful 😊🍄✨.

If you're a vampire who can't stand the sight of blood. Don't worry about it. I can almost guarantee you're not alone (plus there's a lot of different types of vampires. If you know you are/were definitely sanguine then you're still valid 😊).

If you're fictionkin and you're absolutely nothing like your fictionkin type/character. That's ok 😊. People often change with their experiences, it doesn't make you any less yourself.

That last one applies to most nonhumans identities in general honestly 😅.

If you're an angel that doesn't/didn't have big feathery wings. You are still an angel. The universe is filled with too much color and variety for me to believe that all ______ have the same or very similar designs. I've never heard of an angel with dragonfly or beetle wings. That doesn't mean they don't exist 🙃.

You can be a plant who loves salads, a placekin who hates going outside, an objectkin that doesn't use it/it's pronouns or is super expressive, a vampire who adores sunbathing or just sunlight in general, a carnivore that doesn't like meat, an avian that's afraid of flying or heights, a demon with a heart of gold, a deity with social anxiety and/or low self esteem, an herbivore that loves going hunting, a dragon who prefers minimalism, an aquatic creature who doesn't like water, a void that's constantly overthinking, you can match all the known stereotypes for your nonhuman identity or none at all. You can have phantom shifts constantly or never get any, you can have countless identities, you can have just one, you can remember your past life/lives in detail or remember nothing at all, you can believe in past lives and souls, or not, your identity can be psychological, physical, spiritual, etc.

It's s your identity. No one else's. Just because you choose to share yourself or your identity with someone else does not mean they own you or your identity. It is, was and always shall be, yours. (Btw please please please, be careful who you share your nonhuman identity with. Not everyone is going to "get it". And not everyone is going to accept it. Stay safe, mentally, physically, emotionally etc.)

They say names have power. They also say not all things are what they seem. Whatever your nonhuman identity looks like, only you can know what it truly is. Understand that I am not saying that the appearance of one's nonhuman identity should be dismissed altogether, especially when one is still questioning. I am saying, that we shouldn't rely solely upon appearances. If your nonhuman identity fits in the category of x as far as appearances go but x just doesn't feel like it fits, then chances are, you're not x, or there's more to it than just x. I've known I was Fae since right around 2019. However I doubted myself for a long time because as far as I knew Fae were "supposed to have insect wings" and on top of having big feathery wings, I have a lot of them. In fact many of my nonhuman features could be considered angelic. However I've never felt particularly comfortable identifying as an angel. It just never felt like the right fit. It took awhile but eventually after I'd already accepted that my "angelic features" didn't make me any less Fae. I remembered why I had those features to begin with, and it all just clicked into place.

It's ok to not have all the answers or even the correct answers right away. Life is experiences. From moment to moment you are who you are. Things may change, new truths may be revealed, that doesn't make you or your identity any less real. You are whoever you are right now. Wether that is someone/something from everything you have ever been or ever shall be or just one thing right now, unconnected to anything else. You are not fake for changing. You're not fake for not changing. Most have doubts about themselves about all sorts of things. To the point where it seems like doubt is just part of the human world experience (not saying it's only a human world experience, just that everyone here seems to doubt themselves about something or other) and perhaps working through our doubts is a lesson of this place, then again maybe not 🤷. In the end what you believe is up to you😊.

Now, I'm not expecting that this single post from a total stranger will erase all your doubts. Not at all. I didn't write it to erase doubt, but rather to give it a little bit of something to fight against. To plant just one more seed in the hearts and minds of others who might need it or whom it might help in any way. This post is far from the only one out there, fighting doubt in its many forms and faces. And what I've said has already been said in many times and ways. But it's my take and not everything will click with everyone. If this post helps even just one being, then it has served it's purpose. Each and every single one or plural of us is unique in our own ways. And I truly believe that's one of the most wonderful things about life as a whole.

If you've read this far, I apologize if I got a bit carried away and made this post longer than necessary but it means a great deal to me and things that matter to me are very difficult to "sum up" 😅. And if you follow me. I warn you now that most of my posts will probably be a bit lengthy if not extremely so.

And now my dear creatures, crawlers, beasts, beauties, hellions, heavenlies (no I don't care that that's not a word it is now lol), magicals, marvels, wonders, wanderers, wildlings, winged things, whimsies, and whatsits (and everything beyond and in between) I wish upon you a most wonderful day/night. May you always know/remember that your existence makes the world a more magical place. 🌍✨ (And in my opinion we could use all the magic we can get 😊)

👁️🪽✨🍄🍀🪻🌱🥀❄️🌟✨

Till next time.

[misanthropic-phobic]

SOMEONE HELP ☹️

Whats my gender??? Does it matter??

I'm a bit nervous to think too hard about it because my mom has always told me it doesn't matter and "my generation" always makes a big deal about it and worries too much about labels, so I'm doubting if it's even something I should put a title on or worry about it.

Like yeah it's my identity but what if it changes again and all this overthinking was for nothing? I feel so overwhelmed by it and I feel like it shouldn't matter because it's not the biggest problem in the world. But it's my problem and makes me worry and anxious so I should worry after all???

Anyways,, my current crisis is uhm. Idk if I'm truly genderfluid or not. It's the label that I stuck on because I think it fits me but idk it does.

Because, yeah, I feel fluid sometimes but most of the time I'm not. It's like, i always have Masculine undertones no matter what I feel like. Like yeah, I'll feel comfortable being a girl sometimes but it's mostly just the presentation, not the feeling or anything. It's like I'm looking at myself through third person whenever I feel feminine, because deep inside I know its not me but I like to invision myself that way, like it's something I want but I don't want to feel.

But I've always felt so comfortable being masc/male for years now. It's never been something I hated or felt uncomfortable with. I always felt so much joy and giddy when someone used he/him on me or prefered to me as a boy.

But sometimes I also feel like nothing at all or like I'm in limbo between masc and something else entirely. It's not exactly non binary or agender, just, it's nothing at all. I'm just existing and I don't feel much like I'm anything or need a label.

So, in conclusion, I guess I like the idea of me being femme but I don't want to be a girl/present as one (gender and pronouns wise. I'll never hate wearing stuff like dresses lol)

I have Masculine undertones I suppose and always felt like a male the majority of the time, but other times I just don't feel like being male or having to label it at all.

So?? Am I a demi boy or trans male? Or?? Idk man 😞

I just dunno where to look to find something that fits because I need to put my gender in a box to keep my head cool, personally that's just how my brain works and it gets chaotic if I don't have a clear answer

[thenightling]

What I think is the ACTUAL meaning behind the movie Nightmare before Christmas:

I was googling the meaning behind a Danny Elfman song today and something unrelated popped up. It was a Tor dot com article about the "Meaninglessness of Nightmare before Christmas."

It seemed "profound" as far as online articles go but obnoxiously it was clearly an opinion piece dealing with someone's personal interpretation that the movie has no meaning. And Google had sucked up as a valid source of information and "facts." And it was mostly just this pretentious author insisting that the whole thing is "beautifully meaningless." and there's no moral and no one grows and there's no meaning at all. Yeah... No. I disagree. I do NOT think The Nightmare before Christmas is meaningless. Though I don't think it is the deepest thing ever. "Or perhaps it's really not as deep as I've been lead to think. Am I trying much to hard?" - Jack Skellington quote from the song Jack's Obsession by Danny Elfman.

And no, I don't fall in line with the popular interpretation that it's a big metaphor for cultural appropriation. That sort of thing never mattered much to Tim Burton as a film topic and he has said he was just inspired by seeing a store window display change over from Halloween to Christmas. So what do I think it's actually about? ...Love.

Let me explain. We begin with Jack finishing a successful Halloween but he feels empty inside. For all the praise and cheer, he's lonely, isolated. He's the big celebrity everyone fauns over. He knows he's popular but he's always separate, always alone. He has his dog but that's it. He's lonely in that crowd of cheering fans. He feels a longing and he doesn't know what that longing is for. He aches for someone to just understand and accept him, not idolize him. An equal. A companion. When he discovers Christmas that "Empty place is filling up." Christmas spirit is all about love. The Muppet Christmas Carol even has the song "The Love we've Found." The joy Jack associates with Christmas is akin to love. He wants others to feel this happiness, this desire to give and bring joy to others. What he is experiencing is something David Bowie once decribed in his song called Soul Love. "All I have is my love of love. A love that's not loving." Jack tries to share this wonderful feeling with the rest of Halloween but they don't understand it. Most of them don't crave love the way he (and Sally) do. And Christmas is all about love. Not necessarily romantic or carnal love but a love, just the same. A love for others, a love to give. A love of making others happy. Jack substitutes love with Christmas. And he wants to share it with his people. "Well, at least they're excited but they don't understand that special kind of feeling in Christmas Land. Oh, well..." Through the story Jack goes through an identity crisis, partly out of boredom and partly out of this child-like craving for love he doesn't fully understand. Sally gets it though. "Jack, I know you think something's missing..." First Jack has to come to terms with himself and self-acceptance. He does that. He comes to a new appreciation for who and what he is as he talks himself out of despair in the song "Poor Jack." when he exclaims "I am The Pumpkin King!" And then at the very end of the movie he finally connects with that thing he had been missing all along. And it's fitting that it's on Christmas that he discovers that thing he's been longing for - love, combined with a new reinvigorated appreciation for who and what he is. He finally finds that love that fills the void in both himself and in Sally because she has already told us that she feels the same way as Jack (*Whispers* She's just smarter than him...). Though Sally didn't exist in Tim Burton's original children's book / poem that became the film, he did approve of the creation of the character Sally and provided the early concept art. He even modeled Sally on his then girlfriend, Lisa Marie. And the book The Making of Nightmare before Christmas tells us that Sally gave the film its heart. She gave substance to the thing Jack was longing for and had never known- the love of another that wasn't idol worship. I know Henry Selick was the director and Caroline Thompson wrote the script but Tim Burton created the characters and he told the story bit by bit to Danny Elfman, who composed the songs before there was a script. So they conceived of Sally before anyone else and I think Danny Elfman caught on to what an important keystone Sally was for the story. Also Tim Burton is a romantic at heart. All of his films have a love story in there somewhere. And he tends to prefer that the couples get their fairytale ending "And they lived Happily Ever After." He even managed to turn Washington Irving's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow into a romantic fairy tale with a happy ending in his 1999 film, Sleepy Hollow. So there you have it. I feel that the real meaning behind Nightmare before Christmas- the thing Jack was longing for and ultimately realized was right there waiting for him- was love.

[epickiya722]

Just a headcanon, but if Yuji and Takako were distant relatives this is what I imagine.

They were already getting along before finding out they were related. They understood each other after one conversation. For Takako, it was nice that for once she had someone who listened to her after a very, very long time not having someone. Yuji was sympathetic, getting how it feels to not feel like you have an identity of your own... just a tool for someone else to later get rid of.

With Takako and Yuji getting along, Choso and Takako also would get along. They get how it feels to be out of place after being in limbo of sorts for many, many years. Also, both care a lot about Yuji and the feeling is mutual.

Yuji and Takako would have some interesting conversations. Takako would tell Yuji all about what she can remember of her life before her death and Yuji would talk to her about how society is now and even show her his favorite movies. Constant movie nights.

With Takako being around, it means run-ins with Yuta. She makes her mission to be a nuisance to him. When she found out about Gojo's existence and being related to Yuta, he became no expectation. For once, there was someone who bothers him.

When meeting the others, Takako actually brushed off seeing a talking panda. "I've seen stranger."

The subject of whether or not they were related was brought up by Miwa during a visit between Kyoto and Tokyo. She mentioned how her hair is naturally blue and Yuji told her about his hair being naturally pink and Takako the same. It lead to her stating they could be related since they both have pink hair.

Of course, it was argued it could have just been a coincidence. But Yuji and Takako were both delighted by the idea.

It took a very, very long time to track down any family history about the Itadori bloodline that they can, but they managed and after some research and tests it turns out there may be a possibility.

Like, Yuji, Takako is also indecisive about clothing. "I don't wear any when I'm using my technique!! Who cares about how clothes should look on someone anyways!!" Nobara never thought she had to school two Itadori's on clothing. Even Gojo was taken back. Takako loves jewelry though. And like Yuji with hoodies, she opts for tank tops.

She has quite the appetite and doesn't have a least favorite food. In the kitchen, she's quite lethal with a knife.

A couple of times, they got into it over snacks just how siblings do.

Anything sports related, the others have to make sure they're not on the same team. They're too powerful!

It was Gojo and Yuta who learned this the hard way when one day they decided to have a volleyball game without any cursed energy and techniques involved. Imagine how that went.

Turns out, Takako likes to dance and is really good at it. Yuji was quick to show her all the variety of music of today and how to access it. Takako will a cell phone means her constantly sending music and dance video links to Yuji in excitement.

[tlou-reid]

Okay so your AFAB nonbinary Emily fic got me in my feelings. It was so good!!!

I have a request idea where the AFAB nonbinary reader starts dating Spencer and Spencer being Spencer is all reassuring and scientific like, “people have been using gender neutral pronouns for thousands of years. It’s completely normal.” And he likes to impress the reader with his research that he’s done after getting to know them

If that’s also too specific I get it

note 1: i love that you guys enjoy me writing nonbinary reader!! my best friend is nonbinary so being able to show love for your community means a lot to me <3 but did want to say i am not nonbinary and i encourage you to seek out and support nonbinary writers as well!

note 2: i am a full-time student so i am not spending a lot of time researching lol if this info is wrong its bc it was from a quick google search

Send more requests here

All Spencer could do was smile as you were rambling about your gender identity. He loved listening to you talk, almost as much as he loved the blush on your cheek as you told him how you preferred gender neutral pronouns, and how you viewed yourself. "Honey," he chuckled as he cut you off, "I understand."

"Okay because," you rushed out, "I've just been thinking about this a lot and I know some people think it's weird or wrong or doesn't exist or stuff." Your voice fell as you finished. Your heart was pounding in chest. You knew Spencer would never judge you, he was the kindest man in the world. But Spencer was just the first step. After coming out to Spencer, there would be never-ending cycle of coming out. Friends, families, coworkers, doctors, everyone. It was overwhelming.

"Did you know gender neutral pronouns have been around for a very long time?" Spencer inquired, cutting off your train of thought. "It's dated back to the 14th century, at least the written record is. The first recorded use was a French poem about a pair of brothers. One turns into a werewolf, he saves his brother from his uncle that is trying to kill him."

All you could do was listen to Spencer spew facts he had memorized. You offered a "really?" and let yourself be comforted by both his voice and his knowledge.

"Really!" he exclaimed as he continued, "And while not completely correct as Native culture varies from tribe to tribe, there is a general idea of a 'Two-Spirit', of someone who is neither male or female. The idea of this can be hard to describe as the definitions available have been made to fit traditional western culture, and Native American culture has different rules and roles attributed to gender."

He barely let out a breath as he finished, "And, after all, gender is nothing but a social construct. What you define gender as is even different from what I define gender as. We all have our ascriptions based on our own personal education, experience, values, and perspectives. So whatever you choose to identify with is completely and totally up to you! I will do whatever I can to make you comfortable, I hope you know that."

A pleasant smile spread across your face, "I do know that." He leaned forward, said a quick "good", and pressed his lips to yours briefly. "I love you."

[redditreceipts]

I've been a very staunch supporter of trans ppl for years. I have learned to swallow my discomfort around some of the things said in those circles. When they said it was transphobic for lesbians to not like dick, I bit my tongue. I told myself, "this is just the loud minority" and to be fair I do think that is the minority but still ... as a lesbian I wasn't even able to talk about people who argued that because "it never happens. No one says that. That sounds like a transphobic lie." And I hate the constant assertions that gender is real, innate, and that everyone feels it. I can't describe my own experiences with growing up as a woman without someone telling me that maybe I'm nonbinary ... no thanks I tried that for a while. I respect everyone's gender, or I want to, but apparently doing that also requires me to put that oppressive structure onto myself and act like it's liberating.

The final snapping point for me was a trans woman telling me that I'm privileged for being a cis woman because I've never experienced dysphoria ... except I have. I grew up with intense thoughts about my body and hating my vagina and breasts. It was never that bad but I would often imagine mutilating. I'm in a better place now but I still feel some discomfort over my body sometimes. And when I expressed this to her, she asked me if I was really cis or was still questioning ...

They act like misogyny doesn't exist or something. I just ... I disagree with a lot of radical feminists beliefs or at least I think I do. But for years I have felt like radfems were the only ones even talking about misogyny anymore so idk

Anyway what I wanted to say is that I really like your posts and perspectives and thanks for this blog. I want to learn more and question more and your blog has become a helpful resource to help me start thinking critically about some things

Hey :) thanks for writing to me and sorry for the late answer. 

And yeah, you are totally right. I have also spent such a long time justifying gender ideology because I really wanted it to be right. I’ve excused so much weird behaviour with weird mental gymnastics because I didn’t want to accept that I had been wrong for such a long time. 

The entire “that never happens” thing - and then you show them an occasion where it happened, and they say “well, it doesn’t happen that much”. And yeah, people have suggested me being non-binary as well. I mean, by strict gender definitions I am non-binary because I don’t identify as a woman lmao. Just as the “you’re uncomfortable in your body?? what about fucking cutting it up??!!!!” thing. 

And for disagreeing with feminist beliefs, the thing is that being a feminist is not a package deal. You are not being some sort of heretic if you disagree with certain things, and I know that I am most probably wrong on a lot of stuff myself. If I wasn’t, I would be the first person who is always right in human history. And yes, even in feminist spaces, there is sometimes some sort of imperative to follow every single belief or you are not a “real feminist”. But being a feminist is not an identity, it is an action. It is an action towards yourself, in the workplace, in interaction with other women and men, in your consumption, in your voting, in how you support women in your personal life and how you do political action. So yeah, I would say that it is less important whether you follow every rule of the radical feminist catechism and more important to support women in your life (which includes yourself). At least, that’s my opinion. 

So if you want to learn more, you can look into literally anything Julie Bindel says on Youtube, I really like her perspective. And cool that you’re here! 

[seeingteacupsindragons]

This may sound really dumb of me, but can you explain asexuality/aromance (?) to me?

I know it exists and I believe it’s totally valid, but a part of me always feels like I can’t really be inclusive or use inclusive language when I don’t understand it, because I’m afraid that not understanding it might lead to miscommunication and me accidentally offending someone

And the last time I asked someone in person they got mad at me „because I should know, I’m part of the queer community“ but all I ever heard is that it’s a spectrum? Which I don’t really understand

The way you communicate makes you seem like such a nice person, so I thought this would be a good place to ask 🫣😅

I think this is the first time I've been told I see like a nice person, but this is a lovely way to round out ace week when I haven't managed much, so let's do this.

Anyway, the jerk who said you should just. Know things. Is rude. You have to learn things at some point. It is true that some things you can find ways of learning yourself, or that you should have perquisites or are expected to know things before x, y, or z, but that's also just not helpful, so.

So let's start with definitions: Aromanticism and Asexuality don't mean the same thing, but they're related concepts.

Asexuality: The trait of experiencing sexual attraction never, rarely, or only under certain circumstances.

Aromanticism: The trait of experiencing romantic attraction never, rarely, or only under certain circumstances.

Those last two are how it's a "spectrum": there's more than one possibly manifestation or asexuality or aromanticism, and those spectrum identities are often called "gray aromantic" "gray romantic" "gray sexual" gray asexual", etc.

However, those identities generally have more in common with people who never experience sexual attraction that people who don't fit into this spectrum, so they're included. If someone only experiences sexual attraction when certain criteria are met, that means the rest of the time they don't, and they may have only recently or rarely even experienced attraction and started to understand that experience. Etc.

The next part of where people tend to get tripped up is that they thing of attraction as "wanting" something, but that's really not what it is. It's more of a compass that indicates what direction where you want to go is.

We're going to reuse the very common donut metaphor here. I'm not a big fan of it, but it's helpful for this.

People think of wanting a donut as "Oh, I want this donut, let's go get one," because that's how most people end up with a donut (or a relationship). But there are also people who are offered a donut, aren't real sure they want one, and they look at it and go, "Actually, yeah, that donut looks good." And that would be specific circumstances met! A-spectrum!

Or, they're offered a trip for donuts and go, "Actually, yeah, I could really go for a Boston Creme." That's someone who maybe doesn't usually think about donuts, but now that they're considering donuts, they're experiencing a desire for a specific donut. A-spectrum!

Or, they're just like, "You know, a donut sounds good right now," but has no specific opinion on creme filled or jelly filled or glazed or iced or whatever the hell. They're just like, "Donut. Please a donut." That's someone who who wants a relationship, but doesn't feel attraction. But that doesn't make their desire for a donut, or their happiness having the darn donut, any less real. A-spectrum!

So, it's perfectly possible to want sex or romance and not be attracted to someone. The wanting is not the same as the specifics, and attraction is in the specifics.

However. It's also true the wanting and the specifics do go hand-in-hand, and for many a-spec people, they have no desire for sex or romance (or little). And the way society is currently structured is very hostile and dismissive of that. Hell, when I got this ask I was at a family event, and we were talking about my new apartment and the red color my living room is, and my grandmother made a comment about me maybe meeting a fireman.

Now, my parents and my siblings and I all sort of recoiled, because we know better. I don't want a fireman. I don't want an anybody. But that doesn't mean my relationships are less meaningful than sexual or romantic ones. I feel love and care for people in my life intensely, and they're precious people to me. I don't like the way society pushes those important parts of my life aside, and I don't like them being talked about in a way that sounds like they matter less, or they're less valuable, or they should be de-prioritized in favor of sex or romance.

And, sometimes, i just want to go through life for a while not thinking about either of those things, because they're not part of my own personal life at all, but my life is still full and rich and interesting.

Now, this was a quick 101/102 level introduction to the topics. There's much more to discuss around libido and romantic libido and zucchinis and qprs and different forms of attraction and squishes and on and on and on.

But I don't think that's what you want right now when you're first stepping into understanding the topics.

So I hope this helped you understand the ace and aro spectrums better.

Cheers!

[antebunny]

So there's a subgenre of fics in the Harry Potter fandom wherein a person conceived while one of their parents is under the influence of a love potion will become aroace at birth. The origin, afaik, are two insidiously awful decisions of JKR combining: 1) she reinvented date rape drugs/roofies aka love potions, without realizing it I guess, and 2) she said that Voldemort was asexual, because she's never seen a marginalized identity she didn't spit on.

Since Merope Gaunt (Voldemort's mother) used a love potion on Tom Riddle Sr. (Voldemort's dad) I guess people got the idea that what if love potions caused asexuality? And asexuality + aromanticism, of course, meant evil. Here's an excerpt from one of those fics in which Bill Weasley explains being aro/ace to Hermione:

[Image ID]

"No. I just dated because that was what you did. I never really felt anything for them. A few kisses, plenty of hand-holding. I made out in a few broom closets, and had one very uncomfortable make-out session up the top of the Astronomy Tower that I eventually ended by pretending I heard Filch coming past on a patrol. I even tried making out with a guy once in case that was it–nothing. I never told mum about that, of course. Good wizards don't shame their families like that."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay, you know."

He shrugged. "It doesn't apply to me anyway. I'm not gay. I wasn't anything, and I was trying to accept that and be content with it. It was good enough. Until I met Fleur." His eyes lit up with joy as he spoke about her.

[Second Image ID]

"Look, the point is with her allure from being part-Veela, I love her. Like I can never love anyone else. I don't want to lose that. You don't understand what it's like to go through life feeling nothing for anyone else. I've dated people I said I cared for, but I wouldn't have died for them. Well, out of logical choice I might risk my life, but not from love. But I would die for Fleur. Do you understand? She makes me a better person. I would do anything to make her happy. I'm not alone in the world anymore."

She nodded slowly. "I see." It wasn't so much him manipulating Fleur, as him permitting her to manipulate him. Into feeling. "I didn't realise it could be that bad." She still thought he should confess, but it didn't sound like he was hurting Fleur–he really did love her.

[End Image ID]

I read this fic years ago, and at the time I genuinely had not thought about my sexuality at all. I would've never called myself aro or ace. Still, reading this felt like being repeatedly punched in the face. I kept on waiting for Hermione to say something similar to what she said after Bill made a homophobic comment. After all, she went out of her way the first time, didn't she. Instead, what I got was essentially:

Bill: I don't usually feel romantic or sexual attraction. So there's something wrong with me.

Hermione: Yeah lmao. But there's nothing wrong with being gay!

I've been (reading) on Ao3 since 2016, and in all that time I've seen plenty of subtle racism, sexism, etc. But I've never seen anything as plainly stated as this. To this day I have yet to hear any aro/ace people describe the experience of being aro/ace in any of the following ways: "How could I forgive myself if we brought a child into the world to suffer the emptiness I lived with my whole existence[?]" /"You should be unable to love." / "You don't understand what it's like to go through life feeling nothing for anyone else."

I could not understand why Bill described it as "emptiness" or "feeling nothing." I still cannot find a single aro/ace person who would describe themselves as empty. The most I have ever heard is: "I wish I was normal" (meaning I wish I fit in, I wish to be accepted by other people). Historically, many aro/ace people married and had kids, conforming to societal norms, and I am sure many believed there was something wrong with them or hoped to grow out of it. I was one of them. On a very personal note, I suspect that my father is too. I am certain that he's never heard the terms asexual or aromantic in his life. But if you think I'll ever discuss his sexuality with him, you're out of your damn mind.

Now, I know it's really easy to find this fic from these quotes. I chose to include them anyways because I think it's important to show how blatant it was. My Tumblr blog isn't exactly a platform, but for the five people reading this: please, please do not go after the author. I truly believe that they had no ill-intent. In the comments of this fic, a few people bring up variations of "it sounds like Bill is just aro/ace" and the author is consistently understanding. Here are some of the author's comment on that fic:

[Image ID]

I very much understand what you're saying. It's a tricky thing for me to address, however. For the core idea I'm playing with is basically the evilness of "love potions". And part of that is exploring JKR's idea that Voldemort, being unable to love due to his mother using a love potion on his father, was a *monster* because of that. Perhaps that doesn't come across very clearly (there's a little bit more of it in the prequel), that it's one of the assumptions I'm trying to undermine. ("Love potions are funny/romantic", "Voldemort is a monster because he could not love", "Harry's power was that he could love - he's not a monster like Voldemort", "There's nothing wrong with selling love potions to teens/adults because it's not 'real' love".)

I feel like I'm already poking at the inherent problem of framing "people who cannot love" as "monsters/psychopaths" by showing Bill and Harry's struggles with self acceptance, and Bill finding a way to love (though do note he'd been making peace with the idea he wasn't attracted to anyone, prior to meeting Fleur). I really don't like the canonical take on love-redeems/love-is-the-best-power/the-loveless-are-monsters, so I'm messing with it a bit. Exploring other people than Voldemort, ones we admire, who are also dealing with being unable to love. Does that make sense? Now, that doesn't mean I'm doing a perfect job at it, but I'm trying my best to explore that theme around the edges of my Dramione story.

[End Image ID]

The author's intention was to show how other characters, made aro/ace via love potion like Voldemort, were not evil or sociopaths. I don't know why all the characters were so aro/acephobic, but sometimes fics get away from you and you don't address everything you wanted to. I don't know why the aro/ace characters had so much internalized shame and hatred when the term bachelor has been in use for centuries, but we fanfic authors love writing self-esteem issues and I would be a hypocrite to say otherwise. I don't know why the author never tagged acephobia or internalized acephobia, but no one HAS to tag anything.

I don't know if the author ended up writing that fic where Harry comes to accept his aro/asexuality. It's totally understable if they didn't; I have failed to write many fics that I really did want to write. Sometimes it's just like that. I really, truly believe that the author had the best of intentions and is not aro/acephobic, just severely misled on what that experience is like.

My beef is not with this author. I used their words to highlight a reoccurring and popular sentiment that I hate. My real beef is that this fic is popular. This is an entire subgenre of Harry Potter fics. I actually decided to write this post because some random person on the internet said, a few days ago, something along the lines of: "Remember when JKR invented a date rape drug that turned people into sociopaths? Yeah…" (And also because I was up until 3 am last night writing a dumb trash angst one-shot about it).

I'd wager that the vast, vast majority of people who write or read those fics don't feel the same way. But the condescension is baked into the very premise of that trope. "Oh poor you, it must be so hard, so lonely going through life without ever loving another person. You must feel so empty inside."

It's actually people who say similar things that make me feel isolated. Most of the time I feel free, like I've cracked this secret code, like I'm able to see things clearly that people so hung up over sex and romance can't. Other times I feel so left out I wish I was "normal." Mostly, being aro/ace is lonely, annoying, exhausting, and liberating.

It wasn't until last year that a friend told me that some people actually do have trouble speaking to someone they've never met before, just because they find that someone attractive. I thought that only happened in stories. But I don't want to get nervous meeting new people based on their looks, I don't want to treat people differently based on how much I want to have sex with them. I wish my friends in high school had never pressured me to come out as bisexual. I wish all the other similarly liberal, queer communities I've found since didn't insist on associating sex and dating with emotional comfort. I wish I could magically stop my parents from expecting me to ever get married and have kids.

But I can't.

Anyways, that's it for today. I'm not sure what the point of writing this was. I really don't want anyone to get hurt or attacked because of it. This is not a callout, or a hate brigade, or any sort of call-to-action. I don't want people to get up-in-arms about this. I'm just tired. I suppose I just wanted to put my feelings out there, and well, this is my Tumblr.