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yeehawbvby · 5 months

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Falling Away With You | Ch. 48

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Y/n goes a little apeshit at JojaMart lmao

Author’s Note: *Crawls out of a pit covered in dirt and blood. Slaps this chapter down in front of you, on a SUNDAY no less!*

My health situation hasn’t improved whatsoever, but I will prevail, damnit!!

I wrote most of this and posted to ao3 early this morning, and haven't had a chance to proofread really. I'll do my best to get that done soon ^.^ Sorry if there are any weird wordings. Also sorry for the complete lack of Seb and Magnus in this one, I hope the shenanigans make up for it <3

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

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I hate that stupid, cryptic, blue note I got.

Ever since it came, I think about it every time I check the mailbox, without fail. I don’t want to, I kinda just want to forget it exists, but I just… I dunno. I have a bad feeling about it. A gut feeling. Like, something’s totally up with it. It’s just been sitting in my closet for safekeeping until I decide what to do, though.

For some reason, I’ve been too nervous to bring it back up to Magnus. He’s forgotten it exists, from what I can tell. I think I’ll do my best to keep it that way for now. It feels more like my burden to bear than his, and besides, he’s already got the whole region to take care of.

After today’s confirmation that I don’t have bills or anything important like that, I head inside to get ready to leave the farm. Reeeally hoping my routine will shake out my heebiejeebies.

I got the OK from Magnus to use his fancy shrine for Spirit’s Eve. Got an idea of what I think I want to make myself look like, too. Maybe a tiefling or something. If tieflings don’t really exist, I’m sure some sort of succubi, or imps, or some sort of creature that looks like one’s gotta, no? I suppose I could always fall back on just pretending I’m an elf… man, a tail and horns would be so fun though.

Either way, tomorrow is the big day and I am so ready for it.

I mean, like, almost ready. Whatever.

Today I’m going to Magnus’ place to get some practice in. Just a precautionary measure to try not to, like, blow myself up or something.

I’m gonna keep my outfit cozy and easy to move around in, but I have half a mind to make sure I wouldn’t mind losing these clothes in particular if something goes wrong with the transformation. Just some leggings, some crew-cut socks, an old hoodie, and my favorite boots, since I won’t have my shoes on in the shrine anyway. All of it is in black. Sebastian cosplay.

I’ll pop my red studs in too, gotta commit to the bit. I haven’t had time to talk to The Emo and see if he actually did get his shit pierced last night, but assuming he did, and assuming he was able to use these for it, I wanna go all out, baby.

Now, before I head to the tower, I’ve got some errands to run around town. I woke up a bit late so there’s gonna be more people out than I’m looking forward to, but hopefully I have no creepy Alex encounters or awkward conversations with Shane again.

I promised Sam I’d visit him at work sometime soon, so I might as well head there first. He hates it there, and it’s been a while since we’ve caught up, so I’ll hopefully be a welcome distraction. I’ll bring him a coffee too to keep his spirits high.

After it’s done brewing, I grab two foam cups and pour the coffee in. Knowing Sam, he probably needs this stuff sweet, and I’m in the mood for sweet too, so I pour in a bunch of vanilla-flavored creamer. To make the beverages ~gourmet,~ I add a little whipped cream to each, as well as a light drizzle of chocolate syrup. After securing the plastic lids and giving Cannoli some well-deserved love, I head out.

While I pass by the bus stop, I make eye contact with Pam. I’ve never spoken to her, but… I dunno. I can’t tell if I like her or not. She gives me a nasty stink eye and I can only further assume she’s as mean as she outwardly appears. Unless she was just cursed with an intense resting bitch face...

I smile Pam’s way anyway. She doesn’t smile back, but that’s okay. It doesn’t benefit anyone to be so judgemental of her.

I pass a few local moms once I make it to the town square. None really mind me, which could mean they either didn’t notice, or they don’t care. Either is fine by me. I don’t hear what they’re saying, but Caroline talks very animatedly just before the rest of the group bursts into laughter.

I turn my attention back ahead as I pass by Pierre’s and nearly bump into Marnie as she’s leaving the shop.

We both squeak out a little “Oh!” before apologizing in unison.

“I wasn’t really paying attention,” I double down.

“Oh, that’s fine. I rarely ever am!” She then motions to the two cups in my hands and adds, laughing, “At least the coffee’s safe!”

I awkwardly nod in agreement. Then, a brief flash of myself actually spilling coffee somewhere down the road raids my mind, my necklace tingling against my skin and my fingers practically buzzing.

Great.

“Everything alright, sweetie?”

That probably looked weird. “Yeah, sorry,” I try to recover, “just sleepy today!”

I take a sip of coffee to emphasize my point. Plus, I might as well drink what I can before these puppies go down. Hopefully I’ll be able to save at least one of them when the time comes.

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that!” She puts a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I need to get back to the shop, but take it easy and don’t overwork yourself, you hear?”

I nod, thanking her and waving her off with a shy grin before I continue moving. Once I get closer to the spot I’m supposed to be spilling these drinks — just before that little bridge over the river by JojaMart — I begin to walk more cautiously. If I can just keep these steady and focus on the ground…

A sneeze creeps up on me. Oh god. Oh god oh fuck oh no.

Just as I’m beginning to carefully place one of the cups on the side of the bridge for safe keeping, the sneeze forces its way out of me. Luckily, one beverage — the one I hadn’t drank from yet — stays safely in my hand. Unluckily, the one I was working on trying to keep safe fell to the stones at my feet, opening up and dispersing its contents fucking everywhere.

God damnit.

“Nice one.”

God fucking damnit.

I look up to the voice. It turns out Shane’s outside having a smoke. He’s at the opposite end of the bridge watching my clumsiness unfold with an aloof look about him. He’s bent over to lean on the stone wall, his right elbow propped up and his corresponding cheek in his palm. His left forearm is flat against the structure while his left hand lazily dangles his cigarette between two fingers.

Is that pink nail polish on one of them? I wonder if that’s Jas’ doing.

I merely groan back my response, picking up the now-empty cup to discard in the trash bin near the store. As I proceed on my walk of shame past Shane, I point out, “At least my clothes stayed safe.”

Shane follows and asks, “How many ants do you think you murdered with that accident?”

I grin a little at his dry humor. “Oh it was a massacre,” I bounce back. “The war in Gotoro pales in comparison.”

“Ha!” Oh my god, I made Shane — the grumpiest fuck I’ve ever met — laugh?! “Right on. Seems like pointless violence anyway.”

I turn to see if I can catch him smiling for the first time, like, ever. It’s not there anymore, but there’s a residual brightness in his features.

Shane snuffs out his cig on the ashtray built into the garbage’s lid, abandoning it there before shoving his hands in the pockets of his bright blue shorts.

“Those sons’a bitches,” he nods in the direction of my carnage, “they had it coming.”

My nose scrunches as I laugh a little, giving him a funny look. “Damn, what’d they do to you?”

There’s a playful glint in his eye, as he deadpans me. “Exist.”

I shrug and nod — I get it, they can be pretty annoying! — and follow the man as he makes his way through the white-rimmed, glass-centered automatic doors. I try not to cringe outwardly at how many self-righteous pro-Joja fliers are on them.

Shane stops a few steps into the store. Turns around. I stop too and look up, tilting my head. What’re you looking at, punk? I think to myself. Dunno if I’d be pushing my limits by trying to say it out loud. Better not.

Shane gives me a weird look too, but I can barely see it. My senses are taking their damn time getting used to the obnoxiously fluorescent lighting.

“Don’t you shop at Pierre’s?” Shane wonders out loud.

I blink a few times as I adjust to the environment and then nod. “Visiting Sam,” I explain.

“Ah.” He nods too, in understanding, and then looking the other way he continues, “Enjoy.”

Shane makes his way towards a door to the right of the manager’s office. Says “Employee’s only,” so I’m assuming it’s a break room or something. I don’t miss the incorrect apostrophe, but choose not to linger on it either.

“You too.” He looks back over his shoulder, so I pair my well wishes with a lazy salute.

“Buh.”

…Buh?

I smile. I think he’s warming up to me!

Feeling a tad lost now that I’m alone, I look around before making any advances. Should’ve asked Shane if he knew where Sam would be around now. I dunno how the shifts work around here.

The cashiers to my left — a visibly exhausted red headed woman, probably in her late 30s or early 40s; and a scrawny, scruffy looking teenager, with thick-framed glasses sitting atop his freckled nose — both look miserable.

The boy is boredly leaning against the counter, zoned out on the ground in front of it. The woman looks totally spaced out on nothing in particular. It almost seems like she’s fighting off sleep, too. Poor lady.

The woman and I lock onto each other. She looks away from my face before I can even register it, but I notice her eyes flicker longingly to the coffee cup in my hand a few times after the fact. I peer between her and the beverage twice before I all but scurry away into the aisles. I’m too awkward for this. My only option is to retreat. Never said I wasn’t a coward.

While I venture past the boatloads of boxed, bagged and canned foods in search of the resident dog boy, I observe some of the products. Some don’t look safe for consumption, while others seem like they’d be fun to try as a one-off sort of deal. It overlaps a few times as well. I mean, why wouldn’t I want to try this cereal which very explicitly states on the box that it’s more sugar than grains? It makes me stifle a giggle. I like the brutal honesty.

I stop and stare at it for a sec. Gnawing my lip. Wondering if I should just…

No. I shan’t.

I break away from temptation and trek on. As I reach the end of the aisle, I pan across the back of the store. More shelf-stable products, a small produce section… ah!

Sam looks like he’s supposed to be mopping the floor near the freezers. To be fair, he is holding a mop, and it is touching the floor! But instead of cleaning, he uses the tool as a microphone; singing against the end of the brown wooden handle, both hands passionately gripping it as he bends his torso to quietly belt one part in particular. Sam’s eyes are shut, his bulky black headphones are secured over his ears, and he has not a single worry in the world.

Holding his coffee in both hands now, I stop walking and lean against a nearby shelf. Observing. Waiting. Eventually he’ll have to see me.

He does a little spin move and carelessly bumps into the bucket of soapy water he’s working with, causing it to slosh around a little. Some of it lands on the floor, and some on the pants of Sam’s jumpsuit. Doesn’t faze him in the slightest.

He does another spin the opposite way and nearly knocks over the conveniently placed display of sprinkles that are situated right in front of the ice cream freezer.

I feel like I should probably stop him before something bad happens, but he looks so damn content and so stinkin’ cute that I can’t be assed.

Just as I’m thinking this, he opens his eyes, completely avoiding my direction while he immediately peers over his shoulder. Sam scans around, getting a full view of the proximate areas. It seems like he’s just making sure he’s not about to get caught by his boss or something, if I had to guess.

Eventually he lands on me. We both smile wide, and I triumphantly hold up his (unspilled!!) coffee in one hand, presenting it with a small flourish of the other and a bow of my head.

“For you, my good sir.” I make sure to sound extra fancy, dropping my voice an octave and annunciating my words a bit too much.

He looks around again before meeting me in the middle with a fist bump, completely ignoring my bit. Aw man.

“Hell yeah, thanks dude!”

I shoot some awkward finger guns at him, “You got it, bud.”

“You didn’t make yourself one?”

I sigh, lamenting, “I did…”

Sam scans my face as we share a short silence. Then, the lightbulb almost visibly goes off in his noggin. “You spilled it, didn’t you?”

Pursing my lips, I nod. “I spilled it, yeah.”

“Buuummer, dude.” He pats my head and I sigh, leaning into his touch. I’ll be damned if I don’t still love head-pats, even if it’s been a while since I’ve gotten one. “Wanna split this one then?” he offers, palm still on my crown. At this point he’s just trying to messy me up.

“No thanks, I’ll just grab another later if I’m really craving it.” Not having noticed the trance I’ve been in as my hair gets slowly and steadily ruined — it feels nice, okay? — I finally look up at him, cheekily glaring as I manually remove his large hand from me. I add on as I try to repair the frizzy aftermath, “Sick performance, by the way!”

“You think so?” he beams. Makes me laugh.

“Of course! It looked like you were having a lot of fun.”

Sam’s face is a bit flushed as he takes the compliment, not even trying to hide it; he has a big goofy grin on his face, too.

It drops and Sam looks behind him as a deep voice with a bit of a southern twang booms from one of the aisles nearby. “Samson?”

“Shit, here.”

Sam hurriedly places his coffee into my hand and rushes back near his water bucket, looking around for his manager as he moves. I try to make things less suspicious by pretending to look at some nearby end caps.

I take a peek over when I hear Sam greet the man, “Hiya! What’s up, Morris?”

Crossing his arms and puffing out his chest to try and make himself look mighty, a man in a navy blue suit, a bright red bow tie, and a poorly-applied black toupee corrects him. “That’s Mr. Saxton, son.”

I roll my eyes. Awesome to know the guy running this Joja is just as insufferable as the dudes who work on the corporate side.

Sam puts an anxious hand on the back of his neck, and halfheartedly smiles as he apologizes, his speaking patterns much more formal than before. Poor guy… it hurts to see him having to tone it down so much for this dipshit.

I turn my attention back in front of me so as to give him some privacy. Not sure he’d want me to hear him getting his ear talked off.

This display is full of holiday cards... I might as well waste some time with these bad boys. I pick up one with a cartoon beagle wearing a birthday hat on it, stealing a sip of Sam’s coffee as I read the pun on the front: “Have a doggone good birthday!” Alright, nice and cheesy start…

I flip the card open. It starts blaring Baha Men’s “Who Let The Dogs Out.” Fucking hell. Jumpscare me, why doncha! I shudder at how tinny the music sounds — likely made worse by its volume — then close the card and place it back in its spot, not bothering to read more.

“Excuse me, miss?”

I peer over my left shoulder, and see that Mr. Saxton is making his way towards me. A vein is popping in his forehead, but he has a toothy smile on his face that screams customer service. Not sure what’s going on and feeling a little anxious about the situation, I don’t answer with words — I just turn my body to him and watch him expectantly.

My eyes flicker to Sam real quick, who’s closer to the opposite end of the freezers now. He’s looking over here though, and when his eyes catch mine, he mouths “Go!” and motions his arm towards the front end of the store. Maybe he got caught socializing or something… wouldn’t doubt that there’s probably heavy surveillance in here. Man.

I look back at Sam’s boss as he says, “I’m going to need you to discard your beverage.”

My brows furrow and I tilt my head. “Why?”

Ah, he’s the asking-questions-is-talking-back type: He huffs a deep breath and tilts his head as if to mimic me, clasping his fingers together in front of his ribs. The smile and vein are both still on his face.

“It is not only unacceptable to bring your own food into a grocery store,” he strains, “but I cannot have you spilling your drink all over our products.”

…I haven’t spilled anything. What does he think I am, some crusty little kid?

Damn, this is bringing out a rage that I haven’t experienced since working behind a Joja desk. I didn’t know I was even capable of it anymore. Must be something about the overstimulatingly bright blues, or the blindingly white strips of lights. Same ones we had above each cubicle in the office.

My anxiety is rapidly replaced with a petty yearn to cause a ruckus as I realize that I don’t work for Joja anymore. I never have to even come here again, actually.

I don’t answer to this fucko! I don’t answer to anyone!

Screw this guy!

Feeling courageous, I put on my own customer service mask as I inquire, “Do you want me to spill this on your products?”

“E-excuse me?!”

I hover the cup near the cards, tilting it a little. Doing a little eyebrow wiggle too for good measure. “It feels like you dooo.”

“I— w-what are you doing?”

Seb would be so proud if he were here. Not sure how Magnus would react, but I’d like to imagine he’d support me too.

Completely on impulse, I bring the cup in front of me and splash a little coffee in the man’s direction instead of the cards’. The now-lukewarm liquid splatters onto the white button-down beneath his jacket and rapidly seeps into the fabric, leaving a light brown, unsightly splotch.

Sick, got him where it hurts and none got on the floor! Less work for Sam!

Making sure my voice is just as cheery as Morris was trying to keep his, I cap this off, “Stop treating your employees like crap and stop treating complete strangers like children, asshole.”

This feels so good. My heart is racing and my pits feel a little moist and I might just end up an anxious mess the second I walk away, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t cool as fuck in the moment. When Leah asked me last week if Magnus ever wanted to go apeshit, it didn’t even occur to me how badly I wanted to go apeshit.

I walk down the nearest aisle as Morris continues sputtering something about me leaving, paying for this, whatever.

Shane’s kneeled down in the middle of the aisle stocking shelves. He faces me for a moment and grins slyly. “That was cool as hell.” Why does this feel so validating? “A woman after my own heart.”

HUH?

I blink that fucking flashbang away — seriously, the last time I saw him he was still being a dick, and today he’s treating every interaction like we’re fully acquainted, if not more, what the heck — as he turns away to scan items onto the shelf again.

“I really didn’t do much…” I really didn’t. Just kinda caused a minor inconvenience for the guy.

My hands are shaking though, so it must be catching up to me.

“That still took some balls.” He glimpses at me briefly and adds, “Y’look like you might cry, though. Get outta here before I change my mind about you.”

I huff out a quiet laugh and steady Sam’s — well, my, now — coffee in both hands. “On it, boss.”

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lurksunderthebed · 7 months

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Ghoap Analysis/Meta (2.5)

The Evolution of GhostSoap Redux

Finally finishing Codmwii (22), via discussion of "Ghost Team" and "Countdown".

Discussing Ghost's face reveal and what it means to his character motivations/backstory.

Part (2.5/?) out of a series.

Brief mentions of MWIII. Practically spoiler free.

Please read the Alt text.

As I said more or less in my previous post, "Ghost Team" and "Countdown" doesn't have as many GhostSoap interactions by virtue of having the whole gang altogether again.

But what we do have however is the final evolution of Ghost as Trusting Teammate Ghost and a teasing look at our favourite masked character's face.

In this post, there'll be less analysis based on dialogue and more speculation/assumptions so take that as you may.

So let's look at "Ghost Team".

Ghost Team

Price: Alright, listen - We are taking back your HQ. We are getting our prisoner. We are killing Commander Graves.

Rodolfo: When?

Ghost: Now.

Price: This is a fight against our own... We are not 141 and Los Vaqueros on this. We're a team...

Ghost empties a bag full of skull masks onto the table.

Price: ...Ghost Team.

Ghost removes his mask in front of everyone, although the camera shows only the back of his head. Price nods and smiles at Ghost.

Price: Good to see you again, Simon.

Price removes his boonie hat.

Price: If you're in, take a mask... If you're not... Don't.

Everyone around the table takes a skull mask. The camera circles around Rodolfo, Gaz, Soap, Alejandro, Price, and finally Ghost as they put on their masks.

"Ghost Team" is bluntly named after Ghost finally deciding, hey these are all trustworthy guys and I'll show you the proof of my trust, by extending trust via face reveal. It's an extension of his previous statement in "Prison Break" that, "We're a team... all of us". It's like a switch with Ghost; once he decides to trust someone, to really consider them as Team, he proves it with his actions.

I know many out there were disappointed by Ghost showing his face to everyone, in fact I was too. In some ways it does feel a bit like whiplash to have Ghost struggle so hard to trust Soap and then in a span of 16 traumatic hours, he takes off his mask in front of all everyone. Remember this isn't just Rudy/Ale and 141, this is also a bunch of random soldiers from Los Vaqueros who were imprisoned seeing his face.

So why does he do that? And more importantly, does Ghost actually trust all of Los Vaqueros and Gaz as much as he now comes to trust Soap and Price?

To answer that we have to look at why Ghost might have decided to take off his mask, his thought process on doing so and the events leading up to this.

Let's go back to the cutscene before the whole reveal:

These are two separate frames that we are shown while Price is talking to Shepherd. We have Soap, Gaz, Alejandro and Ghost listening in.

Now this is again all interpretation and assumptions, but if you look closely, Ghost is noticeably a fair distance away from the rest of the gang.

For a guy who is extending a lot of trust by showing his face in the next scene, it's interesting that he's still framed as a man somewhat separate from the bunch. I know the framing was partially because showing all 4 men distinctly would mean placing them neatly like that.

But putting that aside, they could've placed Ghost closer to Soap. He could've taken Alejandro's spot on the opposite side of the table. It would make sense to group all of 141 closer together. Ghost has worked with Gaz since 2020 in Verdansk. They've known each other for 2 years already while Ghost has only known Alejandro (and los Vaqueros) for a whopping 5 days.

Again, they didn't. Personally, given how much the game relies on framing to indirectly inform players of character relationships, I'm going to read into this probably deeper than it's supposed to be.

One way to look at it, is that Ghost still isn't completely trusting of the rest. He still holds himself apart from the rest. Physical positioning actually does matter when we look at Ghost because 9 out of 10 times it isn't what Ghost is saying that matters insofar as what the man is actually DOING that determines his motivations.

It says a lot that the game decided to frame Soap and Gaz together and yet Ghost isn't placed closer to Price nor Soap—the two men we know he is the closest to.

Potentially, we can infer that Ghost taking off his mask in the next scene was a bigger leap of faith than thought before.

Ghost has decided to trust men (random Los Vaqueros) that he maybe hasn't personally talked to before. It's quite the jump, especially since we know that he STILL holds himself apart from everyone (even Price&Soap).

There's a couple ways we can look at why Ghost decided to do the face reveal.

Maybe Ghost showing his face happens more than we think and that's why it was so easy for him to reveal his face? Perhaps Ghost freely takes off his mask on his downtime and only truly cares about it being on or off while he's working.

It's possible. There's no way to determine Ghost's actions outside of him on duty. But even that doesn't fit right with the fact that we see him all masked up and bundled in layers in the bar scene at the end of this game and at the end of MWIII. Both times he could've gone with something more casual looking and less anon if he truly was someone a bit different than how he presents himself on the job.

Granted, the times we do see him in a more casual context, he's with his co-workers so it's not quite the fairest assumption to make. Perhaps he separates who he is with people who know him as Ghost with who he is when people don't.

But given what we have and what we already know of the man, I think it's fair to assume that how Ghost is in-game is probably how he acts when he's off duty.

After all, the one person (Price) who knows Ghost as both, the LT still isn't that close to. There's respect and trust but the casual joking friendship you see between Price and Laswell isn't there. That might be more on the fact that Price is still Ghost's superior so maybe the man just likes to keep their relationship on a strictly hierarchical basis. (Yes, I know Ghost jokes at Price in MWIII, but that was arguably more for Soap and also at Price's expense).

We know that showing his face isn't something Ghost does habitually. Soap hasn't seen it before and they've worked together for 3 years already, 2 of which they were in the SAME taskforce. They had to have seen each other a fair bit considering that Soap, Ghost and Gaz are apparently the only 141 operatives.

If there were more 141 operatives, I would expect them to come out in MWIII especially with the whole Makarov/brink of war thing, so unless any new info comes out I'm assuming that 141 is just Price, Ghost, Soap and Gaz with random loaned soldiers to pad their ranks when needed on missions.

So why does Ghost decide to take off his mask if him showing his face isn't a casual thing when he's off duty, nor does he fully trust PEOPLE as a whole?

Honestly, I see this as a massive leap of faith/hope and Ghost wanting to see things done right this time around.

As I said previously where I somewhat go into Ghost's backstory, there's an implication with Mace's inclusion that there was/is a unit of 'Ghost' styled operatives who might have all worn the ghost mask. Added with the fact that the reboot likes to take a lot of character depth from the older popular games in the franchise, it's not a stretch to assume Mace and Ghost being teammates are a nod to Ghost squad in cod: ghosts.

We know there was a betrayal of sorts, potentially one that might have involved those fellow ghosts. Mace left the unit and there's an ominous, "things are very different now" statement by the dev about Ghost and Mace's time as teammates.

Perhaps the title "Ghost Team" wasn't so much named after the man, Simon "Ghost" Riley, but rather after the 'Ghost' unit that Ghost and Mace were on.

Maybe Price calling them all "Ghost Team" was actually referencing that unit.

This is based on assumptions but hear me out.

We know Price obviously knows what Ghost looks like. The captain references the LT by name a couple times before: when talking about him to Laswell in the ending scene in 2019, in Verdansk (via comms) in 2020 and now here after Ghost takes off his mask. There's a relationship in between the lines that suggests that Price knew him before Simon Riley ever became Ghost.

Therefore we can also assume that Price also knows what happened to Ghost and potentially the details of that unnamed unit as his current direct superior. With Price's connections and his casual disregard for rules, I'd be surprised if he wasn't familiar with that hypothetical Ghost squad.

I think the biggest nod to this, is Price having on hand a bunch of skull balaclavas. He could've gone with plain balaclavas if just being anonymous was the concern, but didn't; the choice of a skull pattern was deliberate. This was potentially planned out prior to Price's rescue of the group in "Prison Break".

Unless Ghost just randomly keeps 6+ extra skully balaclavas on his body at all times, it's most likely Price that brought the balaclavas with him.

There probably wasn't enough time for Ghost to communicate to Price of Shepherd's betrayal and thus their need to hide their faces to fight the general. In "Alone", the LT even mentions it to Soap that they have to rely on themselves and not Price or Laswell. Heck at that point, Ghost didn't even trust Laswell. Only Price, Soap and everyone that got betrayed was deemed 'safe'.

I suppose Ghost could have sent a message to Price that they were going to break Alejandro out at the safehouse, but I'm not entirely sure there was enough time for that between everything that happened and Soap's injury. Plus Ghost and Soap were surprised to hear Price on comms. If Ghost was sure Price was going to show up, I doubt he would hide it from Rudy. And even if he knew the captain would come, it's likely he would change their plan to factor in Price's arrival. Therefore we can say that this was most likely all Price's initial plan. Not Ghost's.

Price clearly knew that to defeat Graves and Shepherd, they would have to 'go dark' so to speak. Obviously showing their faces would make the group war criminals. Naturally that meant they would have to emulate a unit that was probably well known to do missions completely anonymously without any country, rules of engagement, or signifier outside the skull mask. An international unit that carried out presumably the blackest of ops would be a perfect fit.

And to make it even more authentic, they have a member who was/is a part of that special group. Now the title of a game serves two purposes. Referencing Ghost's change from lone wolf to teammate as well as a call back to cod: ghosts.

So again, if this was Price's idea why does Ghost go along with it?

Well harking back to what I said earlier, it's assumed that Ghost has been betrayed by potentially his own ghostly teammates.

Ghost coming up to this point had no idea anyone other than Price, Soap and Los Vaqueros were trustworthy.

But then the events of "Alone" and "Prison Break" happen and Ghost sees Laswell being, "still solid as a rock". He gets rescued by Price unexpectedly. Soap shows that outsiders can be trusted by proving Ghost wrong about all his initial suppositions. Everything Ghost said to caution Soap— them not being able to rely on Price, them not trusting Laswell, Soap surviving, all of them were proven false.

And from seeing that, perhaps the man decides he wants to overturn his past experiences with betrayal to something better. Because now Ghost has hope. What else could he be proven wrong about?

This hodgepodge ghost squad might be a catharsis for Ghost in the sense that this time, he can get some revenge for being betrayed. He can have solid 'ghost team' members who have his back (unlike previously). He can let himself have a team again, with all the vulnerable trust that is implied with letting himself be a part of a team.

So Ghost taking off the mask makes more sense when we look at it as him trying to redo his own past as well. He is asking the rest of them to trust him by extending trust back (by showing his face).

But again that's just a theory. A video game theory.😎

I could be very wrong with everything here. It could just as well be as simple as Ghost after finding love trust from Soap, is so moved by the power of love trust that he felt compelled to take the next step in teamhoodness. Again, by asking the bunch to trust him by showing his identity.

The masks and the naming could just be based on Ghost and his apparently infamous legend. The guy has a bit of an ego about his skills. Maybe this plan was hatched by Ghost and Price together, and the LT wanted his ego stroked by having everyone dress up as him.

I also wouldn't put it past the man to randomly have 6 spare balaclavas on him at all times. He wears SKELETON GLOVES for god's sake. The guy is truly committed to the bit. Maybe he really is that eccentric/well prepared.

Who knows.

What we do have however, is the fact that Ghost taking off his mask was an action of trust and vulnerability. An action that wouldn't have happened without Soap being there and being his snarky lovable self.

Without Soap proving himself and working together with Ghost it's doubtful whether the LT would've opened up enough to show his face.

But enough of that. Lets talk GhostSoap interactions. It's sparse but boy do they stare at each other like no tomorrow.

It does feel a bit like grasping at straws to go, 'THEY'RE STARING AT EACH OTHER YOUR HONOUR. THAT MEANS ITS DEFFO LOVE!!! LOOK AT THEM SPARKS FLY!!!!'

But we've already established that stares are a form of wordless communication between the two. The game did it forcibly, by framing shots in each other's perspectives CONSTANTLY. This isn't the only time they've been long gazing into each other's eyes for an amount of time that would normally be uncomfortable for anyone else.

Soap is placed directly across from Ghost. The game wanted us to see Soap's expression when it pans teasingly behind Ghost's back and you're only left seeing Gaz, Soap, Alejandro and Price. This was all deliberate.

From start to finish, Soap barely takes his eyes off of Ghost. Even when Price is explaining things, Soap is very obviously looking Ghost's way. And Ghost is quite obviously staring back at Soap.

What could they be communicating between them here?

Well from Soap's expression on the third picture, it kind of looks like the sergeant is grinning. No doubt thinking back on his words where he flirts tells Ghost to show his face. Maybe Soap is stuck on the truth of Ghost's boasting. That Ghost really isn't an ugly guy at all. Quite the opposite indeed.

Really, it could be a multitude of things. One thing for certain is that we can see that they're both caught on each other from the very start of the conversation.

The funniest thing is that this isn't the first and last time we see Ghost and Soap seemingly ignore everything around them but each other. It happens in the cutscene in "Alone", here in "Ghost Team" and later in MWIII multiple times.

We can sort of excuse it here because this is the very first time Soap gets a look at Ghost's face in 3 years of working with each other. Anyone would be staring like the other would disappear in that circumstance.

Every other time though? Yeah... It suggests something very non-platonic in nature about their relationship. Let's not forget that they only really do this with each other. Not Gaz nor Price elucidates this sort of behaviour from either man. Both of them have a staring habit but it only seems to activate when the other is there.

Unfortunately, this whole cutscene was pretty much it for notable Ghost and Soap interactions in this mission. As I said earlier, "Ghost Team" doesn't have a lot of meaningful GhostSoap interactions. That can be said of "Countdown" as well, but we do get a few choice bits.

Let's look at "Countdown":

Countdown

Rodolfo closes the vehicle door as he and Alejandro turn to Soap.

Alejandro: Go... You have work to do.

Soap shakes hands with Alejandro and Rodolfo.

Soap: Keep fighting the good fight, hermano.

Alejandro: To the bitter end, my brother.

Rodolfo: Good luck, amigos.

Soap turns to go on the transport plane and taps Ghost on the shoulder to motion him to go as well.

Alejandro: Ghost...

Ghost turns around to face Alejandro.

Alejandro: No te pierdas, carnal. (Don't get lost, brother.)

Ghost: A huevo. (Of course.)

Alejandro and Rodolfo smile and laugh as Ghost boards the plane. The doors to the ramp close shut.

Now this scene is interesting when we contrast the Ghost of "Kill or Capture" to the Ghost now. The Ghost at the beginning of the game visibly hated being fistbumped. The Ghost now, doesn't seem to bat an eye at it. For a man that seems to treasure his personal space, this is a big moment. Soap is now solidly in the rarified group of (2!) members that are allowed to touch Ghost (without getting glared/intense side eyed back). The other being Price of course.

Let me reiterate that this whole process only took 7 days.

This is also compounded with Ghost actually engaging in friendly conversation with Alejandro and Rudy. If at the beginning of "Cartel Protection" where we see Ghost more or less stonewall any sort of friendly jokes/banter, here we see Ghost actually respond positively. He even raises a fist in a total bro gesture. 🥹 Antisocial Ghost who's him?

This is further reinforced when we look at the usage of Spanish by non native speakers. Notably Soap, Ghost and Graves.

Soap's Spanish usage is used to denote affection/care from Soap to Alejandro/Rudy. We know that Soap cares about Rudy and Alejandro because he makes an effort to ask personal questions about them AND tries to learn/use their language.

Graves by contrast uses it too. But none of that is meant affectionately. When we do see it, he's mocking Los Vaqueros and taunting them over the loss of their base.

And reflective of Ghost, the LT doesn't even mutter a word of Spanish at all to Rudy or Alejandro. His non usage is used to imply how he intentionally distances himself from everyone.

In "Cartel Protection", they asked Soap and Ghost whether they knew any Spanish. Throughout the game we see Soap learning and using Spanish to the delight of Alejandro and Rudy. Ghost did not join in to that cultural/language learning at any point up until this key moment here.

Perhaps Ghost was actively learning Spanish as well, paying more attention/care than anyone would've thought. Or maybe Ghost being the secretive troll he is, might have already known the language to some degree and refused to reveal it to Ale/Rudy. Which ever reason behind it, this scene was the perfect moment to show how far Ghost has come since 7 days ago.

From arrival via transport plane and instantly stonewalling Soap from making any jokes, to now leaving via the same transport plane and revealing something about himself—it's like deja vu except Ghost is the only thing different. The lightning is even the same. Ghost has been changed by the past events. His motivations now are evolving and expanding into something a little more friend shaped.

But sadly, that's the last time we see Ghost and Soap physically together since we see Ghost has been put on overwatch for the millionth time in Chicago.

We do however get some delightful exchanges at the end of the mission:

Soap: It's detonated.

Laswell: Copy that. Air Force will confirm. Thank you, Sergeant.

Soap: Yeah... Pleasure doin' business with ya, Laswell.

Laswell: Where's Hassan?

Soap: Not alone- he's got AQ guards with him. I'm gonna kill every one of 'em... and then I'm going for him. Out here.

Soap moves throughout the construction floor evading Al-Qatala guards.

Soap: Steamin' bloody fuckin'...

Ghost: Nicely done, Johnny. Now for the hard part.

Soap: That was the fucking hard part, L.T...

Ghost: Let's find out. You need to stay alive, take out the guards, and kill Hassan.

Soap: I just need a weapon.

Ghost: Make one.

Soap: Aye. Like old times, huh, L.T.?

Ghost: Seems like yesterday...

Soap: It was yesterday...

Ghost and Soap fall back into snarking at each other during critical moments. What's interesting is that because Ghost is on overwatch and we see Soap work with Price and Gaz, we now have a chance to compare [Ghost and Soap], [Price and Soap] and [Laswell and Soap].

There's an odd thought rattling around that Soap could just be a very flirty person by nature. He likes to buck authority. Maybe Soap snarks back to all his superiors.

But we find that might not be true at all, because Soap doesn't snark at Price ever. Not here in mwii(22), not in "Flashpoint" in 2019 and not at any time in mwiii(23).

Gaz actually jokes more with Price than Soap ever does with the captain. And that's wild because according to the official bio, Price has known Soap since the sergeant was 18! Soap and Price's relationship go wayyy back. To our knowledge it's the longest official relationship we know between any of the characters. Maybe Soap's relationship to Price is more respectful/devoid of any back talk?

Regardless, Soap doesn't pull any of that towards Price. He actually snarks more to Laswell and their relationship started around 2019/20 when the taskforce was formed.

We see this here with Soap in an echo of what was to come in mwiii(23):

Laswell: Copy that. Air Force will confirm. Thank you, Sergeant.

Soap: Yeah... Pleasure doin' business with ya, Laswell.

Laswell: Where's Hassan?

Laswell thanks Soap. To which Soap snarks back happily. Laswell shuts down any jokes and moves the convo back to more pressing matters.

Contrast this convo with Ghost congratulating Soap and then starting the snark up first cause he can't help himself:

Ghost: Nicely done, Johnny. Now for the hard part.

Soap: That was the fucking hard part, L.T...

I honestly think the snark came out of Ghost from all the sheer worry the LT had. Remember that Ghost jokes to distract himself and Soap. This is another extension of that.

When we look at this as a whole, we can read it as further framing of Ghost and Soap's relationship as something unique, something special to only them. Out of all the superiors Soap has ever been directly under, it's only Ghost that seems to snark back. They egg each other on and we see this with each successive line in the dialogue bit:

Soap: I just need a weapon.

Ghost: Make one.

Soap: Aye. Like old times, huh, L.T.?

Ghost: Seems like yesterday...

Soap: It was yesterday...

Soap doesn't really joke back to Price (though we don't see them interact outside of extremely critical time sensitive missions so it's a little debatable). Laswell sort of tolerates it, but forcibly moves the subject.

It's Ghost who previously ignored Soap, that entertains and even encourages him to snark.

Soap isn't like this with Alejandro, Rudy or Gaz. We see (1) instance of Soap being pouty about Gaz being right (for once) in MWIII and that's all we really see of Gaz and Soap's relationship to be frank.

We also don't see Soap snarking at Alejandro or Rudy. The one time we saw Soap quip back at anyone, it was at Graves specifically during the tank scene. And that snark was meant murderously of course.

On the other hand, It feels like Ghost and Soap could go on forever trading banter at each other for hours.

And they somewhat do when the mission suddenly becomes a crafting survival game at the end. It becomes a little segment similar to "Alone" where you have Ghost encouraging Soap to murder better via helpful tips about how to do so.

There's a call and response thing going on with the two of them. Every time Soap says something, there's an automatic response from Ghost. And we see this especially so, at the very end of the game:

Soap: Ghost...

Ghost: Soap...

Soap: Watch the window...

The window blows apart and Hassan walks up to Soap.

Hassan: We are not attacking...

Hassan hauls Soap up to his feet and brings him to his face.

Hassan: We are invading...

The scene shifts to Ghost on the rooftop of his building as he deploys his MCPR-300 sniper rifle and aims at the floor where Soap and Hassan are located. He sees Hassan hauling Soap over to the window preparing to drop him to his death. At this point, the player must shoot Hassan before Hassan can push Soap out of the building.

Ghost fires a shot that hits Hassan in the head. Hassan collapses to the ground, dead. Soap drops to his knees and looks at Hassan before looking back to Ghost's position.

Soap: Perfect shot, L.T.

Ghost: You called it, Sergeant. All stations- Hassan's down. Enemy KIA.

Like "Alone", which literally was just yesterday for them, all Soap and Ghost have to say is their names and one of them will respond similarly. It's like they're a perfect pair meant to always be framed together. We are introduced to these characters together and we see the depth of who they are as characters in contrast to one another. (I'm not counting warzone because Ghost/Soap being there was equivalent to a fun Easter egg tbh)

And finally we get to the circular ending of mwii(22). It ends like how it starts. The game itself starts in Ghost's perspective with a missile strike to kill general Ghorbrani. We are in Ghost's perspective looking through a scope to confirm the target.

Here at the end, we are in Ghost's perspective after looking down another scope to kill Hassan.

Except this time Ghost isn't solo.

SoapAndGhost worked together for everything to end happily. It's in the text explicitly. Soap praises Ghost on his perfect shot. Ghost is like, noo, you called it. It's a regular ole praise hot potato here.

From beginning Ghost (who works alone) to end Ghost (who works with Soap): the heart and soul of this game is centred on these two. The big emotional breakthrough is Ghost's evolution from lone wolf to devoted teammate.

Whatever people might think about the nature of their relationship, it's unmistakable how important these two are to each other in-universe, but also just when we look at how the game was written. These two are the crux of MWII.

If MW19 was emotionally centred on Farah's backstory and her growth as a character in which we see her literally grow from child to freedom fighter, MWII was emotionally centred on Ghost learning how to trust (outsiders) and be a part of a team again.

It's really no wonder people like to ship Ghost and Soap when the game is focused on their particular relationship. From the framing to the dialogue, this was all deliberate. The shots had to be created/animated, the dialogue had to be written (no ad lib from what it sounds). There was a reason to have all these borderline non-platonic cutscenes/lines. And again I'll thank everyone there who had a hand in those choices.

They took what could have been a very dudebro game into something that appealed to a larger (feminine) audience by making choices that went against the grain of what a typical fps game does. Especially one so painfully mainstream.

Thanks game devs for creating such compelling characters/relationships. You really did us a solid by making it.

Now the next thing to look at is this: How has Ghost and Soap's relationship changed between mwii(22) to mwiii(23)?

That's a tough question. There are differences though those are best talked about in comparison to how we see Ghost and Soap in 2019, 2022 and then to 2023. There's sadly nothing truly explicit and all we have to look at is context, stares and little touches. Which still is enough to sink our teeth into in my humble shipper opinion.

But if anything, given how little time mwiii(23) had to bake, I'm glad that there was an effort to at least sub textually in the dialogue try to communicate Ghost and Soap's relationship.

We could have had zero relationship growth in mwiii(23) guys. I'll forever be glad we got the tidbits we do have over literally nothing.

Does this mean I think mwiii(23) was a good game that did Ghost and Soap's relationship justice?

No.

But I actually don't think it was completely the worst. And looking back at certain dialogue choices after going through mwii(22), there was some reasoning behind it. Which somewhat makes the ending better, though I'm still bitter about the whole nonsensical plot.

Anyway. Thanks for reading my stupidly long post, anyone who's still tuned into the whole thing, you have my endless gratitude. 💕💕💕🥺

And thanks to all the gifers out there to make my life easier for these posts. You guys are the real troopers. 🫡

Part 3 will prob take a good time that might not happen anytime soon because I keep on getting side tracked with writing/plot bunnies. Sorry guys 😔

Also sidenote, I have my own thoughts on why the game chose to not have Ghost join in the killing of Graves and instead have Soap and Rudy do it. My ghost squad theory is admittedly weaker when we see the game deliberately choose them (not Ghost) to get revenge. But honestly, it was always going to be the player character insert (Soap) and one of Los Vaqueros. Not Soap and Ghost. After all, it's Los Vaqueros that had their base taken over. It makes narrative sense for one of them to help end it as well.

#ghostsoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghost x soap #soap x ghost #cod mwii #call of duty modern warfare #simon riley #soap mactavish #ghost cod #ghost squad #meta

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daintev · 29 days

Text

More MTCPT art! :D

Been a quick sec since I posted mtcpt fanart but I'm back!! A bit sick atm but yk there's always time for this silly little webcomic <3

Buckle in becuase I'm gonna be blabbering a lot. Getting straight into things: this comic has gotten my creative juices going so I thought an Aquarium Tax would be a fun idea! (Hoping for the day Payton gets to go on one of their missions and I thought what better than an Aquarium)

(get a load of these guys, they're madly in love)

The most amusing part of Sanders character is how he turns out to be the big cliche romantic and how ironic it is because his face is the least expressive. I love some drama and comedy but I am a sucker for romance, you show me two middle-aged queer men? I'm hooked. LIKE JUST IMAGINE: Sanders doing a bunch of cliche romantic gestures for Jock like taking him out on dates to cafes n' stuff. DO Y'ALL SEE MY VISION CUZ I THINK I'M COOKING

I am a firm believer that Sanders knows how to do ballroom dancing so I think he'd try teaching Jock sometime (can you guys tell I like domestic and romantic moments between characters yet)

Lastly, some teen Jock and Sanders! I think if Jock had a theme song it'd be Meow by Ivusm: he just gives off those vibes.

Speaking of which, I've finally released my Sanders playlist!!! :D It's quite difficult to figure out what his character would like and I'll probably change a bunch in the future but for now I'm content with it.

Sanders Playlist!

That's all from me, stay hydrated and take care! <3

#mtcpt #my two cents plus tax #webcomic #fanart #mtcpt fanart #art

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ckret2 · 1 month

Note

If you don't mind my asking, what is your outlining process like? Is it a bulleted list of scenes, or paragraphs describing what you want to happen? How thorough is it, and how much do you just figure out as you go? I'm about to attempt to write a truly longform fanfic for the first time, and I've been a fan of yours long enough that I feel you probably have some sage wisdom on the matter.

You know what, I get this question with some regularity, so instead of trying to remember how I explained it last time, I'll just drop one of my outlines so I can link this the next time someone asks. Here's my full outline for chapters 33/34/35. Copy/pasted from my plotting sessions in discord with my writing buddies.

This is in two parts. The first part is my actual outline, which I ALWAYS had open while actually writing the chapters—I recommend open my outline and the finish chapters side-by-side so you can see just how closely the chapter follows the outline. My outline is VERY LONG and VERY DETAILED, down to exactly what happens in the conversations; this is because I've found that, for me, "write out THE ENTIRE chapter WITH all actions & dialogue (but writing it super badly)" + "writing the chapter well (but not needing to think about actions & dialogue AT ALL") is much, much faster than "do a simple outline (but figure out the action, dialogue, and how to write it well all at once)".

And the second part is a bunch of snippets from other plotting sessions where I was figuring out how to fit the tooth fairy arc into the whole fic, so you can see how I work on overarching plot lines.

Anywhere there's a "####" divider is a separation between different plotting sessions on different days. Anywhere text is in "[brackets]" it's either a paraphrase of something one of my writing buddies said (I don't post direct quotes publicly) or some kind of note to myself.

####

[This part is my actual outline I used to write the chapters]

So! Stan's having breakfast. Bill comes into the kitchen, plops down, "gooood morning—" "go away."

"Haha funny. Anyway! I need you to take me to your dentist." "No. I took you to the mall, you almost made my niece cry, my brother left a Shopliftaholics Anonymous flier on my bed, and all I got out of is was a crummy ring. You wanna go anywhere, talk to Soos."

Nope, it's gotta be Stan. (he doesn't wanna hang out with that loser Soos anyway.) Bill's trying to get fillings, and Stan's dentist does them for free.

Which is true, but it's weird that Bill knows that. Stan's dentist is some weirdo operating out of a back alley, with a weird pay structure. He charges normal dentist rates for regular dental maintenance, but he does gold fillings for free, and he'll pay YOU if he needs to pull your teeth. He's great! Stan hasn't had to pay for dental care in thirty years! Stan also wears dentures now, but hey, at least they were free.

So, since it's Stan's dentist, he's the only one who can take Bill. Stan sees where Bill's coming from; but he says no, because he doesn't wanna.

Okay, bill's gonna try another tact.

Stan, Bill is a simple creature. A simple creature who's used to being coated tip to base in a thin layer of pure, lustrous, 24 karat gold. Having skin makes his skin crawl. He doesn't *need* any dental work done, his teeth are fine, but he'd really, *really* like to have just a *bit* of gold, *somewhere* on his body, so he feels a *little* more like himself in his final days. (you're losing my sympathy by the second, cipher.) ... And then once he's dead, he supposes he'll be leaving behind a corpse with a mouthful of free gold that whoever's disposing of his remains can do whatever they want with, do you catch his meaning Stanley?

That's absolutely *disgusting.* ... But okay, he's bribed! ...... They're not telling Ford about this, right? Right. They're shaking on it. Agreed. They'll take this to their graves. ... Or to Bill's grave, anyway.

Hey, it's free gold that Bill is offering him totally voluntarily. After all the trouble this demon's brought into their lives, the LEAST Stan can get in return is a little financial compensation.

Great! Deal made! Time to go get the cursed friendship bracelets and then they can head out—

Ohhh no, Stan isn't trusting a bit of colored lace and some mystical hocus-pocus to keep Bill contained. They're doing this PROPERLY. He's gonna MAKE SURE Bill can't escape. They're going to Soos and getting the REAL, METAL handcuffs from him. Try to get out of THAT! Now... to the car!

... Bill's right wrist is cuffed to Stan's left wrist. This puts Bill on Stan's left side. How are they gonna get Stan in the driver's seat.

... Does Stan want Bill to drive— NO, no, NOPE, he is NOT letting Bill drive, under ANY circumstances, NOT a chance. Okay fine so how are they doing this.

Cue Stan driving with Bill cuddled up against his right side and Bill's right arm stretched across Stan's chest. It's very intimate. Very romantic. You can practically hear Unchained Melody playing in the background They are both so very very uncomfortable.

[imagine a gif from Ghost]

Exactly like that but imagine them grimacing in disgust the whole time

Definitely one of the worst experiences Stan has ever had handcuffed in a car.

So after a VERY unpleasant drive they park, get out—and immediately cross paths with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. Stan's like ah great, last thing they need, police nearby while they're doing something weird. Well, if they don't make eye contact and go about their way—

Bill waves like HI DARRYL, HI EDWIN, HOW'S IT GOING? WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING HAHA and they're like OH HEY GOLDIE HOW'VE YOU BEEN, DID YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMERWEEN and Stan is like "*Bill what do you think you're doing getting their attention, do you want them asking questions*" and Bill goes "🙂 I did not think this through 🙂"

Which is of course when they go "hey why are you handcuffed to Mr. Pines? You need some help there? I bet we've got a key that matches that handcuff model" and oh Stan BETS that Bill would LOVE to accept that offer and go traipsing off into town with the cops, so he goes "NOPE, that's fine, thank you officers, but we're keeping the handcuffs on. ... Because. They're necessary. ... For me. ... Because I'm old. ... It's to keep me from wandering into traffic."

Bill's a quick liar, he goes haha yep that's true!! This guy's cataracts are so bad, sometimes he asks us if he's dying because all he can see is a white light at the end of a dark tunnel. And the way his mind's going, woof—" "(all right you don't have to lay it on so thick)" "—he's so addled it's like he's completely forgotten the last century of transportation advancements, he'll just walk right off the curb and expect the horse-drawn carriages to stop for him—" "Hahaaa, but we won't bore you with my medical history! *C'mon,* Goldie, you're gonna make me *late* to my *heart doctor appointment.* You don't want my life on your hands, do you." "(You know, I think I kind of do.)"

The cops are like, you can't see? didn't we just see you get out of the driver's seat of your car? and they're like ......... Goldie's giving him directions. 😃

Oh! That makes sense. Okay. They'll let them get to their doctor's appointment. They wander off like y'know i think Goldie's a step up from that seeing-eye bear

They look at each other like, all right, good improv, you're not bad. They can respect each other for that. Stan thinks Bill wouldn't be bad to run a con with if he were literally anybody other than who he is. Okay, on to the dentist.

So the dentist's office is a little garden shed around back behind some other totally unrelated business. Whatever business I can think of that would be funniest. It's a ramshackle nightmare. The dentist, also, is a ramshackle nightmare.

[candy store]

He's surprised to see Stan there, on account of the fact that Stan has no teeth. Because the dentist pulled them all. ... he's not mad is he

No, no, the dentures are great! They're lower maintenance! Sort of. In a way. Anyway, he's here to refer a new customer! ... does he get any kind of referral bonus or

Yeah have a uhhh gold coin or something, here. Okay! New customer! What can he do you for?

Fillings! Okay, on which teeth? Whichever he thinks would look best with some! Dealer's choice! Bill's leaving it in his hands! All that matters is that currently Bill's teeth do *not* have any gold in them, and he'd like that to change by the time he leaves.

The dentist gives Stan a look like "is this freak serious" and Stan sorta shrug nods like "yeah he's serious" and the dentist is like okay!!! Super! This'll be fun! Let's see what he has to work with.

The dentist is amazed at Bill's teeth. Wow. So clean. Perfectly white. Did you just get these cleaned, where'd you get it done at? No? Well, looks amazing. And no wear at all, remarkable... Do you mind if he takes a few pictures? Have you ever considered having any of these pulled?

Stan's like yeesh, he forgot how creepy this guy is. He's like a serial killer crossed with a nerd with a tooth fetish.

Well, the dentist is sorry to say that all of these are pristine. Not a hint of cavities—not even plaque. It'd be a shame to drill them. You *sure* you don't want one pulled...?

Stan is 😬 but Bill is handling this like it's a totally normal question for him to be getting. Y'know what, just the fillings today—but who knows, maybe he'll feel naughty and be back in a couple of weeks haha. Just pick a couple of your least favorite teeth to drill into!

Okay, suit yourself. Let's gas you up and get drilling.

This is the first time Stan's had an opportunity to watch the dentist at work. Which is how he learns for the first time that he saves all the little tooth dust & shards off his drill in a tiny Petri dish. Yeesh. He's an even bigger creep than Stan thought.

Bill doesn't handle the gas well. It's not that it makes him sick or anything. He just forgets how to human. The dentist tells him to hold his mouth open and he holds his eyes open until they water. He keeps forgetting his mouth is occupied and talking to the dentist while he trying to drill. When he's let go, he heaves himself off the chair and immediately falls on the ground because he expected to float. Stan has to support him to the door and he keeps trying to walk sideways. Bill doesn't mind, he feels great! Waves at the dentist as they leave. Thanks for the gold, Atlantis is rising as we speak, you have seven years to prepare for the plague, tell the little lady he said hi! Byyye! Stan is desperately trying to drag him out the door, he turns to Stan like "I made up the bit about Atlantis" "okay now shut up and stop saying weird things"

But not the plague part

The fic *does* take place in 2013

They're driving home. Smushed together all intimate-like. You can almost hear Careless Whisper playing. Except this time Bill is loudly and terribly singing along. He keeps trying to take the steering wheel and turn it like a kid playing in a toy car and Stan has to keep swatting his hand away. Bill's like "I can't feel my tongue at all! I bet I can chew it off!" "Don't do that." "The last time my mouth was this numb, my girlfriend had just gotten done with me, haha. I was almost blind for the next hour from all the spores—" "I swear if you don't shut up—" "I just realized I haven't gotten any action since I died. Wow. This isn't a weird time to bring that up, is it?" "Bill if you say ONE MORE weird thing you're riding home on the roof of the car."

Bill is quiet for three seconds. "Your arm's really beefy! What's your favorite flavor of cancer?"

Mabel: "why are you on top of the car?"

Bill, eyes wide, hair disheveled, one arm hanging through the driver's door, sprawled out desperately clinging to the roof like his life depends on it: "I don't know, it's all a blur." (Note to self, mention Mabel and dipper are heading out for a sleepover or something)

Well, *that* was fun! 🙂 Bill thinks it was fun, anyway. Stan doesn't agree. Anyway, where's Soos? They need the key to the handcuffs.

Soos is having dinner with Melody's family this evening. They call him to ask where the key is. Haha, sorry dudes! He totally forgot he still had it. Yeah, it's on his keyring. Is that, like, gonna be a problem, or...

Well—pff—when are you gonna be back?? Uhhh he's not sure, kinda late maybe. Well, can he duck out and bring them the key? Uhhhh he WOULD but, he's REALLY worried about impressing Melody's parents, and the casserole's about to come out, and he thinks they might judge him if he leaves, and it would probably ruin dinner... Okay FINE, then what if they drive over to get the key? ("STAN CAN I DRIVE THIS TIME—" "ABSOLUTELY NOT") Oh sure, they can drive over if they want—anyway Melody's parents' place is in Portland.

Which is waaaay outside the barrier around Gravity Falls

Welp. That ain't happening. Looks like they're stuck.

... They could call Blubs and Durland—?

NOPE Stan is NOT calling the cops for help NUH UH, he'll WAIT ALL NIGHT if he has to. ... so. What do they do until then.

Cue them grumpily watching a game show together. Bill refuses to sit in the living room with Stan so Stan's on the couch and Bill's sitting in the entryway on the stairs and their handcuffs are strung through the doorway. Hey Stan, still glad you went with the handcuffs instead of the friendship bracelets? Shut up.

Bill's shouting out the answers to every question on the show almost sooner than they're displayed and eventually Stan is like, man, we'd clean up if we put you on this show. No one would ever figure out how you're cheating. And Bill's like HA, listen to you!! If you were Ford you'd be mad that I'm giving away all the answers before you can guess!! That's the great thing about you, Stan, you don't get irritated at Bill for stupid little reasons, you're more fun. HEY FORD DID YOU HEAR THAT, STAN'S THE FUN TWIN— And Stan's like shut up you idiot ford's in the basement he can't hear you. And what are you talking about, you irritate me all the time. I'm constantly infuriated by you. And Bill's like, oh, well, i guess i just don't care when you're irritated then lmao.

Stan's like what's with you anyway, why are you so obsessed with Stan's brother. And bill says SDFHFJF?? DSFKLGLJ??? FLKJFHGD???? EXCUSE M. EXCUSE ME?? OBSESSED??? MOI???? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

Is it OBSESSION to SOMETIMES PAY ATTENTION to the one person in the house he HAPPENS to know best and to whom he HAPPENS to be a teacher and muse and friend— and Stan's like oh that's a load of bull, you're not ANY of those things to him. Friend?? Friend???? HE WANTS YOU DEAD and Bill's like WELL IF THAT'S *SO* then doesn't it also make plenty of sense to keep an eye on, you know, THE GUY THAT *KILLED* HIM, like there's nothing mysterious about why he'd focus a *little* on that person—

THAT'S IT, THAT'S JUST IT!!!! There are TWO people who killed Bill, remember? That was a two-man con he fell for! But he keeps treating Ford like he was the only one there! If Ford's in the room, he's the only person Bill talks to, and if he ISN'T in the room then Bill's yelling across the house for him, and Ford wants less to do with him than anyone else, what the heck, it's creepy—

Only *one* person killed Bill. Stan's not the man who killed him; he's just the place where Bill was killed.

And that baffles Stan into shutting up a second.

Bill's like, do you even remember what happened in your brain?? and Stan's like :/ so Bill's like LMAO!! We were both trapped in there when Ford fired the gun. Completely powerless. Stan was weeping and begging for a way out even, but there was nothing Bill could do by then— and Stan's like all right I KNOW that THAT didn't happen! so Bill's like fine fine okay all right you got me, we actually had this big psychic laser fight, imagining up all sorts of fantastical weapons. And Stan's like, ehhhh, all right, that sounds more like me. And bill says but it was all IMAGINARY, it was a vast illusion, at that point there was nothing I could do to you and nothing you could do to me. We were just two victims locked inside a burning house as it came down around us. YOU didn't kill me, you didn't have the POWER to kill me. And Stan just, gives him this discontented look. Hm.

Oh, oh wow, okay, Bill sees what's going on. Stan's jealous, isn't he. He thought offering up his body to be the scene of a murder finally made him a co-star instead of a sidekick. All their lives, Ford got more attention from daddy, more attention from the teachers, more attention from the WHOLE WORLD—and Stan finally thought he'd at least get a little attention from the big bad living nightmare. Just because he let his brother shoot him in the head. You weren't special enough for anyone else, why do you think you're special enough for Bill?

Oh yeah?? Well he bets he's special enough to break Bill's face— jerks him by the chain into the living room, fist raised; and Bill immediately pulls back as far as he can and tries to shield his face.

As a helpful reminder, Bill's death actually went like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D3adyJQDqI so 1) he is VERY much lying to Stan, and 2) getting punched in the eye by Stan in the living room is still echoing in his nightmares.

So there's a split second where Bill is absolutely blind with terror, gets out a strangled "NO—!" and then they both freeze and stare at each other. Stan knows what just happened. And Bill knows Stan knows. And Stan knows Bill knows Stan knows.

Bill immediately plays it off, "come on, I just got all this dental work done, at least give me a couple days to enjoy it before you pound it in. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mine having a flatter face, all these bones and cartilage jutting out never did feel right—"

Stan feigns a punch. Bill flinches. Stan laughs at him.

And what's Bill gonna do? Fight him? He is not trained in 3D brawling. He tries, very hard, to explode Stan with his brain. This usually works on people who are annoying him. But alas. "If I had one billion-billionth of my power back I'd have already destroyed you—!" "But you DON'T, sucker!!" Bill screams in frustration and stomps off to go sulk somewhere

Aaand is immediately jerked back because of the handcuffs. Whoops.

"... Whatever I don't even care about your stupid aggressive mammal posturing. It's fine. It doesn't bother me. I'm calm. You're just making yourself look stupid. ... I wanna go to bed."

####

So!! Attempting plotting. When we left off, Bill wanted to go to bed. Which is a problem since he's still handcuffed to Stan

Cue Ford going "Bill. Why are you sleeping on the floor in front of my bedroom door."

Well you see, STAN got them handcuffed together until morning, and Bill tried to be accommodating, but Stan doesn't want to sleep in the attic and won't let Bill sleep in the guest room— (Stan yelling "and Mr. Accommodating here refuses to sleep in the living room") —so the best compromise they've got is sleeping on the floor with the handcuff chain strung under the guest room door, see. Does Ford want in? It'll take a little coordination to get the door open but they've done this once before—

Ford's not messing with this. He's sleeping in the basement. Good night.

At some point in this I've gotta establish that Mabel and Dipper are out of the house for the night. Maybe they're just leaving as Stan and Bill get home. Anyway the point is Bill and Stan are effectively at home alone for the night. Maybe Soos's grandma is still there, she's a little old lady, she wouldn't be much help in a fight

So. Somehow I've gotta get them from being asleep to getting woken up by the dentist being in the house, with the tooth fairy. There's some transitional material I'm missing that I've gotta fill in later.

Maybe Bill wakes up with the dentist's tools already in his mouth, ready to pull. Waking up at 2 am to invasive dental surgery. Bill's like, hello, very forward of you.

[horrified face]

That WOULD be a more appropriate reaction, if Bill weren't so weird.

Bangs on the door to wake up Stan, WE HAVE VISITORS, WAKE UP

Dentist realizes that Bill is stuck in place with the chain, pins him against the wall, and tries to go for his teeth. STAN SURE IS TAKING HIS TIME— Stan gets the door open just in time, Bill tumbles into the guest room, Stan goes wtf why is the dentist here?

The dentist goes uhhhh he just wanted to check on Bill's fillings, yeah, he thought one of them might be a little loose— Bill's like cut the crap, your boss put you up to this, what the heck does the little lady want with his mouth?

Stan's like what? What "little lady," this guy is self employed, what are you talking about— and Bill goes the TOOTH FAIRY, genius, why did you think your dentist pays YOU to pull your teeth! Who'd you think was funding him?! And, well, Stan can't say he ever put much thought into it. He just sort of took this whole thing at face value. But like the tooth fairy is fake right, like that's just stupid—

Which is when a fairy wearing baby teeth jewelry pops her head out of the dentist's bag. Stan's like oh well never mind, just one more crazy thing happening in this town. And Bill's like oh shit she's actually HERE, the situation just escalated significantly.

I've decided the tooth fairy's name is Pearl E. White.

Bill skips straight to addressing her by first name, which disconcerts everybody, not least of which is the tooth fairy herself. Lady, if you were toeing the line of your treaty any harder, you'd be tripping across it. What are you doing here and what do you want?

She's WELL within the bounds of the treaty, she hasn't laid a hand on Bill and she's not about to start, and she's been offering MORE than adequate financial compensation— Bill's like oh yeah I bet the queen would have something to say about you ordering your helper to rip out someone's teeth in the dead of night— and Stan's like hi, question, what the Fuck are you all talking about

Oh Bill can explain, Bill knows lots of things! So this fairy here has a *thing* for teeth. To the extent that she got into a habit of stealing them straight out of humans' mouths! And went so crazy over it that she actually dragged a fairy court into a war with humans over her teeth-stealing habits! Currently, she's only allowed to accept *already freed* teeth that are *voluntarily* offered to her by the owner, which is why she started bribing kids with money.

She starts getting into a gray area working with hired dentists—once a tooth has been handed over to a dentist, that dentist becomes its "owner," and can give that tooth to the tooth fairy—buuut the fact that he *extracted* the tooth puts it on shaky legal ground. Really, Bill thinks the only reason she's been getting away with THAT racket so long is because nobody's raised a legal challenge to it yet. Probably because most humans don't know it's even happening. And with the price of dental work being what it is, yeesh. But—by *any* reading of the treaty, hiring a human to nonconsensually rip out teeth on her behalf is beyond the pale. So she'd better have a good explanation for this!

Yeah, she does have a good explanation for this. SHE WANTS BILL'S TEETH! She'd do ANYTHING for one of his teeth! They're the most amazing teeth she's ever seen!!!

The dentist is like, holding her back from lunging at Bill's face

Okay, great! Fantastic! Bill's not above a little bargaining and he's not too attached to this body—so how much gold you got on you, kid?

Oh no, she's not bargaining. Bill already knows too much, she's NOT about to get blackmailed by a human, and she's not going back to fairy jail. So here's what she's gonna do: she's gonna have her guy rip out every one of Bill's teeth, and then rip his head apart to destroy the witness, and the only negotiating Bill gets to do is on whether or not her guy uses the local anesthetic. What's it gonna be?

Stan cuts in like hi, hey, listen, he'd love to see Bill's head get ripped apart, but—crazy thing—it turns out there's 50/50 odds that killing him will lead to the end of the world, so maybe let's talk this out—

Tooth fairy points at Stan like he's got nothing left of interest to me. He's a witness. Kill him too.

Right, cool cool cool, hey Stan you know that spell Ford's got on Bill? Well if Bill casts it on the dentist, can Stan handle things from there?

Yeah, Stan sees where Bill is going with this. The dentist & fairy don't expect Bill and Stan to lunge for them; Bill casts the can't-use-doors spell on the dentist, Stan drags Bill with him into the hallway, Stan slams shut the door, and now the fairy's bellowing OPEN THE DOOR YOU IDIOT and the dentist is yelling HOW????

They retreat to the entryway. From there they can go out the front door, into the kitchen, into the living room, or upstairs. I need to keep them from just going out the front door, I'll need to think up an excuse for that later. Something magic maybe idk. I also need to keep them out of the kitchen, but that's a likely dead end unless they feel like climbing over the kitchen table to break a window. Basically, I need them to be limited to the living room or upstairs.

The living room is the better option—it has a door to the gift shop, and the gift shop has a door straight outside, as well as doors to the mystery shack museum & the hidden elevator to the basement, lots of great options in there. But Bill drags them upstairs instead. Bill you idiot what are you doing, this is obviously the worse direction??

Shut up we're going this way and Bill doesn't care what Stan thinks about it.

Why are we going this way?? How the heck do you expect to get out of here from up in the attic?! Bill doesn't know, it just seemed like a better idea! There should be a ladder in the storage over the kids' room, maybe they can take that and get down out a window, come on

Meanwhile the fairy is hollering about how YOU DON'T DESERVE THOSE TEETH, THEY'RE TOO GOOD FOR YOU! They're the most beautiful, pristine, unblemished, perfect teeth she's ever seen in her life. (Bill's like "are they really that great?" and Stan's like "eh, a little asymmetrical, honestly.") She's NEVER seen adult teeth so pure and HE'S RUINING THEM by carving out chunks of PERFECT TOOTH to put in unnecessary fillings! He doesn't have the right to those teeth, she deserves them! ("Hey Bill so you knew my dentist was working for the tooth fairy?" "Yes." "And you knew she goes crazy for nice teeth." "Yes." "And it didn't occur to you that she'd be outraged by you carving up your new teeth." "It's in the past, Stanley, focus on the present.")

—and she doesn't even KNOW how he got MAGIC TEETH! Fully adult teeth in a fully adult mouth but SOMEHOW they're barely a month old! It's unbelievable! She couldn't believe it herself until she saw his mouth with her own two eyes! She MUST have those teeth, as soon as possible, so she can preserve them like this, who knows if she'll ever find such a novelty again— Ahhh, so THAT'S what's motivating her. Welp, nope, sorry, Bill didn't see that one coming at all.

... hey, she's been buzzing around shouting at them but they don't hear her trying to help her dentist OR coming after them directly, what's she up to? Stan leans out the door to look into the main attic.

Huh, weird. She's just flying in a circle with what looks like a container of veggies from the fridge?? He thinks it's the sliced portobello mushrooms

WHAT!! OH THAT LITTLE CHEATER IS MAKING A FAIRY RING, THAT'S NOT FAIR—

Aaand poof, the dentist appears in the ring. The fairy must have already made the matching ring downstairs.

The dentist still needs a dumb name

[Drilliam]

Dr. Illiam. It was william but the W fell off his sign

[any relation to dr acula]

Went to dental school together. Dr. Acula kept mislabeling teeth, he always thinks the canines should be longer

He switched career tracks and became a phlebotomist

and speaking of drills — Fairy yells GET THEM, the dentist reaches into his dental tool bag, and pulls out a drill. Not a dental drill. A drill.

They slam the door. The dentist goes AW, F— AGAIN??? The tooth fairy's like JUST BREAK THROUGH IT, YOU HAVE POWER TOOLS

Bill has an idea. Stan, open the window, Bill's tying bedsheets (from Dipper's bed) together. Bill doesn't expect them to climb out that window, does he? No, he expects the *fairy* to think they went out that way, and they can hide in the closet until the fairy and dentist are past them so they can run downstairs.

Stan doesn't like the idea of hiding like cowards instead of fighting. Bill's like I can see a dozen futures that end with our brains splattered across Mabel's dolls you do NOT want to fight against power tools now COME ON

So they hide in the closet. It's uncomfortable in here. They're trying to stay quiet and listening to the dentist mauling his way through the door. Okay smart guy now what? What'll they do when they get downstairs?

Whispering at each other, "Why that way? Why not the living room, it's a lot faster to get out through the gift shop." "... Yeah. Fine—" "What's the matter, Bill, you got a problem with the living room?" "What? No, I SAID fine. It's fine." "It took you a long time." "I was trying to figure out if that was the fastest way out—" "Oh, really??? You sure you aren't SCARED to go in there with me? You think I haven't noticed how you bolt out of the living room any time I come in? Or how you flinch every time I raise my hand?" "... I don't know what you're talking about." "Do you REALLY think I don't remember how you died." "..." "As if I could forget the best moment of my life. Watching you on your knees, begging for mercy, while I put my fist through your face like a cheap mirror—" "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" "ADMIT IT! ADMIT THAT I KILLED YOU TOO! I PLAYED JUST AS MUCH A PART IN IT AS HE DID!" "YOU DID *NOT* KILL ME, YOU *COULDN'T* HAVE KILLED ME, I'M NOT *CAPABLE* OF BEING KILLED BY SOMEONE LIKE YOU!" "*THEN WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME!*" "*I'M NOT AFRAID—*"

Unsurprisingly, the dentist puts a drill through the closet door.

####

For now though: Drilliam is drilling. Bill and Stan are screaming. Bill's shouting IS THIS WORTH IT?? WAS GETTING YOUR DENTAL SCHOOL LOANS PAID OFF WORTH THIS?? DO YOU WANNA BE A MURDERER MAN and he's sobbing I CAN'T STOP NOW, I'M IN TOO DEEP this man is having the worst night, like sure he's obeying the tooth fairy but it's clear she's the bloodthirsty one here

Okay count of three Stan and Bill are kicking the door open. Bill falls flat on his ass and has to scramble back up but they manage to wedge the dentist behind the door in a corner with his drill stuck in the door. Waving at their faces, menacingly. Stupid cordless magic-powered drill. The fairy's buzzing in their faces making them swat at her, the dentist starts to wiggle out, they give the door one last hard shove to knock him off balance and then run for the stairs.

And, of course, they continue the most important discussion as they go. "WHY DOES IT MATTER to you so much whether Ford killed you or Ford *and me* killed you? Why is it SO hard to admit that I threw a punch that took you down?!" "You DIDN'T kill me, you CAN'T have killed me because YOU DON'T MATTER. YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT." "Dsklfslkjf NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO *KILL* YOU?! HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?!"

And Bill senses he's found a weakness he can needle. "It's true! I've looked into countless universes and you just don't matter! No matter where you go or what you do, you just AREN'T IMPORTANT! If *anything*, all you ever do is make things *worse.* You know, I first tried to work with Ford in a universe where *you don't exist*? And I couldn't do it! He wouldn't give me a chance! Because YOU weren't there to ruin his life and make him desperate enough to turn to an alien, and YOU hadn't spent your whole childhood *training* him to put up with a manipulative con artist's lies—so he'd be *ready* when he met me. Isn't that funny, Stanley?"

Bill's dragged them to a stop now so he can rip into Stan: "You were stillborn in that universe. Your brother had to grow up without a twin watching over him—so he actually learned how to make friends. Your mother was DEVASTATED that she'd lost you—but you know what's funny? I think your family loved that dead baby you more than they EVER liked the disappointment you turned out to be—"

And That's When Stan Punches Bill As Hard As He Can

Bill goes DOWN. There is blood everywhere. Oh shit Stan didn't mean to do that much damage are you okay?

And THAT'S when Stan realizes that they're in the living room. Right where Bill died. Bill goaded him into it

And Bill holds up a tooth, like, thanks for the tooth fairy bait. (Staring Stan dead in the eye with this look like, SCARED OF YOU, AM I?? WHO'S SCARED NOW)

And Stan... Stan is really big on macho, "face your fears," "stand up for yourself," "fight back" displays of masculinity. Stan's figured out Bill isn't much of a physical fighter. He might never be able to throw a punch. He's got tiny little baby hands. But—but—if his response to "I think you're scared" is plunging himself directly into the situation he's scared of, making it as terrifying as possible, and taking it without flinching... Stan, grudgingly, has to respect that. He doesn't WANT to respect that. But it's the kind of thing he respects. [when it comes to fighting, he might be able to dish it; but he can take it]

So now he kinda sorta grudgingly respects Bill. ... But also kind of feels bad for Bill? for reasons he can't quite specify. (Because it's the kind of desperate-to-prove-himself stunt that a younger Stan would have pulled, when he was scared and alone and homeless and trying to earn his fortune and a macho mask was the ONLY thing he had going for him. And he's never seen Bill like that before—all he ever saw was Mr. Big Shot Triangle who always had everything under control up until he was tricked into dying. It's never occurred to him that Bill is scrambling too. That Bill might also be lost.)

(It doesn't escape Stan that, in Bill's efforts to get under Stan's skin, Bill slipped up and called *himself* a manipulative con artist.)

But no time to wax poetic, Stan's not an introspective guy. Tooth fairy bait! A whole entire tooth! What are they gonna do with it?

I still need to figure out this part. They've gotta set a trap to catch a fairy, they've gotta separate her from the dentist, and they've got to do it extremely fast, because being stuck behind a door in the attic isn't gonna hold the dentist for THAT long

What kinda stuff traps fairies. My initial thought was "salt rings" but no i think that's demons. Not sure that works on fairies too

[iron. Not a clothes iron]

idk, chucking an iron at a fairy's head...

Like that post that's like "i know traditionally it takes a wooden stake to the heart to kill a vampire, but i think we oughta give hitting them with a pickup a shot"

It'll probably be something in the gift shop, since they're getting corralled that way. Stan hears them coming and shoves Bill through the door and follows after him. This is a very baffling experience for Bill, as the door was previously closed, and Stan didn't open it, and yet Bill is going through it, and he does not understand enough about doors to make sense of this. (It's a swinging door, it doesn't lock or latch.) The dentist is coming at the door ready to drill it (he doesn't understand swinging doors either) and obviously if he tried to hit the door it'd just swing open which would be bad news for them so Stan is like HOLD IT, that door is LOAD BEARING, if you start hacking holes in it the WHOLE SHACK COULD COME DOWN ON US! And the dentist pauses like. Now that doesn't sound right, but i don't know enough about doors to dispute it.

A load bearing door. ... that swings.

The fairy's like WHAT ARE YOU STOPPING FOR YOU IDIOT, HE'S LYING, DOORS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT— and Bill's like HEY CHECK THIS OUT. Waving his tooth around. YOU WANT THIS???

She's so outraged, YOU KNOCKED IT OUT, what if you CHIPPED IT, she's zooming for it

And Bill chucks it in... something. Undecided. Maybe I'll decide what it is later and then cleverly find a way to foreshadow it earlier in the chapter. Anyway it's totally an effective fairy trap, possibly made out of iron.

BAM, now she's TRAPPED. The dentist is dropped down on the ground to peer through the gap under the door (there's like a three inch gap at the bottom of the door) and goes NO and pounds the door. It swings a few inches open. He stares in bafflement. It swings back and hits him in the forehead. At least Bill's no longer alone in his suffering re: the mystery of doors.

Right! Looks like they've got a proper hostage situation here, don't they! If Drilliam would please drop the power tools and back away from the door. Very good. Stan picks up his bag, holds the dentist at drill point, and tells him to get walking, he'll escort him outside. Stan doesn't trust Bill with power tools, so he can stand guard over the fairy.

... which means Bill is alone with the fairy.

*So*. Bill believes they were negotiating? 🙂

She's not negotiating ANYTHING with him. Look at what he did to this poor tooth. She's hugging it.

SHE'S obeyed the letter of her treaty, even if not the spirit, and when the fairy court hears tell of this they'll back her up and come free her, and oh, THEN Bill and Stan will be in trouble—

WAIT I JUST REALIZED. HOW CAN STAN LEAVE IF HE"S HANDCUFFED TO BILL.......................

See this is wh. This is why i outline. This is. The reason i do it. Invaluable process.

Maybe the handcuff broke when Stan punched Bill. Turned out it was a cheapo flimsy chain. Maybe they're still handcuffed together and I'm just gonna have to dial back how much Bill can say to the fairy because he knows Stan is listening.

I feel like separating Stan & Bill's cuffs would be a cop out, unless I can make it a really good moment

You know what, if bill had an opportunity to talk to the fairy alone, he would've tried to rope her into getting him some help that i do NOT know how to pay off. I was gonna have him promise a tooth off of his stone corpse in return for Assistance (As Yet Undecided), but i feel like giving Bill an in with some nebulous organization of fairies might be giving him too much power too soon?? Like, "what COULD he do with a huge favor from a fairy" versus "what do I want him to currently be ABLE to do" + "what do I want people to THINK he can do," a fairy favor might be too much??

I'll try rolling with them still being chained together, see how i like that. Okay so ignore what i just said, Bill is going WITH Stan to kick out the dentist—they just shove him out the gift shop door and he stands out there making sad puppy eyes at them—and then go back to negotiate with the fairy.

And her buddies are gonna be mad when they come to get her!

Bill's like, but that's assuming they come for her, which they might just not, once they hear where she is. IF they hear where she is. She DOES know where she is, right? (Sure she does, this is the Mystery Shack.) And she does know who owns it, right? (Sure she does, he's right there—) Who REALLY owns it? (...) Are you *sure* they'll come for you here?

It doesn't matter who owns this place, HE'S been gone for decades— Oh, has he? You sure about that? You didn't think it strange that an odd person with magical teeth and weird eyes—a real bonafide freak—happens to be in this shack, getting escorted around by handcuffs? That didn't make you ask any questions?

Stan puts a threatening hand on Bill's shoulder like *hey, easy how much you spill*—most people don't notice Bill doesn't look quite human until he points it out—and seeing *that* gesture terrifies the fairy more than anything else Bill said, like oh shit, he's not bluffing, she's been hunting somebody else's prisoner.

So how about this. If *she* promises to leave and never harass them again, *they* promise not to wake up the jailer and ask how he wants to deal with her. Because Bill just wants to be left alone, and he assumes Stan just wants to go back to bed—but *him,* oh, he wouldn't hesitate to pin her wings to a board. Sound fair?

Yes, yes, it's fair, she'll leave them alone! Just let her go!

Great. 🙂 Oh, and one more thing. His payment for that tooth?

She gives Bill a gold tooth. 😠 And they let her go. She's a fairy, her word's as good as law. If she promised not to bother them again then she won't. Can't lie.

... so. What was all that about the true owner of the shack?

Oh haha yeah! Fordsy's got a bit of a reputation around the town's paranormal community. He actually wasn't much more personable with the freaks he was studying than he was with the other humans in town—he had a tendency to catch, study, release. One or two times he *didn't* release. Rumors grow with time. And well, if it's useful to pretend to be one of his specimens...

The idea of keeping a person (a person!) prisoner to study does Not sit well with Stan. "You're *not* one of his specimens." "No? Has he been studying me?" "Of COURSE not" but now he's thinking about it.

... Well. Back to sleep? ("Are you gonna let me sleep in the guest room now?" "*No.*" "Aww, I thought we'd bonded a little!" "After all the horrible shit you said earlier??" "Haha you're too sensitive.")

......... WAS the horrible shit Bill said true? Or did he just say it to get a rise out of Stan.

Naaah, he just thought it would be funny to make Stan mad. He never saw a universe where Stan and Ford weren't inseparable as kids. But then he never dug that hard. It wasn't one of his priorities.

Stan doesn't think Bill's telling the truth now; but Stan doesn't think Bill was telling the truth earlier, either. Bill's not telling Stan what the multiverse is like; Bill's telling Stan how he wants Stan to feel. Bill *could* have said everything he'd said was true, but he didn't.

"You're not a half bad liar, Cipher. It's too bad you're a lousy dirtbag bent on world domination, or you could've made a decent partner-in-crime." "Yeah? Well, my schedule's clear, I'm bored, and running a two-man con sounds fun. Let me know." "Don't count on it."

The end.

Epilogue: next morning Ford goes "did you two sleep well?" (He's not actually asking Bill he's just asking Stan. He hopes Bill got an annoying crick in his neck that'll never go away.) "Oh yeah, no problem. Got comfortable and didn't move all night." "We barely even noticed the handcuffs. Slept like babies." Well, Ford's relieved nothing weird happened last night.

There's a knock at the door. He'll get that.

It's a very sad and bedraggled dentist. Can he please have his ability to open doors back? He had to sleep outside last night. 8,C

... only the person who cast the spell can lift it. Hey Bill, get in here. "Slept like babies," huh?

The end end

####

[everything after this is various points in other conversations where I was discussing the where & how the tooth fairy arc would fit with the overall story, to show you what kind of plotting-over-time I do for the big elements of a story.]

You know what I'm gonna go with a tooth fairy. The show's featured gnomes, mermaids, subterranean dinosaurs preserved in tree sap, and Cupid. A tooth fairy works.

A dentist who worships the tooth fairy. The fairy gets a glimpse of Bill and goes "WOW I've never had ALIEN TEETH before! *Bring them to me.*"

[hell yeah alien teeth]

####

And probably the chapter after that is gonna be Stan Takes Bill To The Dentist. Where Bill goes "you don't have to worry about me running off, we can use the friendship bracelets." "Oh ill friendship bracelet YOU. And I'll do it WITHOUT MAGIC." *slaps actual real handcuffs on himself and Bill. Loses the key.*

####

He played himself. I think I'm gonna have them be handcuffed through the ENTIRE tooth fairy arc. I think it would be really funny.

Ford like "Bill, why are you sitting in the hallway outside my guest room."

"Because SOMEBODY decided to HANDCUFF US TOGETHER and then LOST THE KEY so I have to SLEEP IN THE HALLWAY with the HANDCUFF CHAIN STRUNG UNDER THE DOOR. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, *STANLEY.*"

"Right. ... I'm going to sleep in my lab tonight."

####

Things going on:

- Stan unwillingly getting dragged into his "befriending the evil triangle" arc. Woe, friendship be upon ye.

- Bill copes with traumas by setting himself up to relive them until they stop hurting. Burning down your dimension devastated you? Become a serial arsonist, stare into the flames over and over again! Flinch every time the guy they punched you to death raises a fist? Goad him into following through, now it's not scary anymore!

####

Where I am right now: Mabel has just won Bill's loyalty forever. Where I need to get to: the next "episode," which is *probably* gonna be Stan taking Bill to the dentist and getting tangled up with the tooth fairy, unless I come up with another plot I think might be more appropriate to come first. I feel like I can't just hop straight into the next episode, because Mabel's JUST befriended Bill, so I need to spend a little time showing them BEING friends so that that convincingly sticks. And I can't "just" show them hanging out coloring pictures or whatever, I've gotta have something, like, *happen.*

####

Today's mission: figure out how to jigsaw in all the plot points I need to establish before the season one finale (when [SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS].)

I've made a list of all the things I'm pretty sure need to happen:

- Bill makes progress on lucid dreaming

- Stan emotionally invests in Bill

--- ( this will be the Tooth fairy arc)

- Ford decides Bill isn't gonna kill them

--- the eclipse

- Ford likes Bill a tiny bit

- Dipper decides Bill is harmless

--- (I'm planning a gag where bill gets accidentally locked in the bathroom all day, this'll achieve that)

- Dipper decides Bill might be useful

--- (The eclipse)

- Bill makes contact with cultists

--- (cultist visits shack looking for bill)

- Bill finds a way to sneak outside

- conversation with dipper about the third dimension

- Fiddleford finishes the gun

--- (this will probably necessitate another Fiddleford visit)

This isn't everything that COULD happen before the season 1 finale, but it's the BARE MINIMUM everything that needs to get done.

####

There's plenty of other things that could happen before or after this, but i might need a better idea of how I want to shape season 2 before I can decide what to put before and what to put after

Like, the monster truck plot. I'm toying with whether I want it before the s1 finale (which would mean Bill can use Gideon to make contact with his cultists) or after (which would mean [SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS])

Somebody else put this together into a coherent plot arc for me o|-<

I keep pushing back writing the tooth fairy arc because i keep going "no wait, i thought of something else i need to do first—" and part of that is because, i feel like, once the tooth fairy arc happens, that kicks in gear Bill interacting with Gideon (because then he's got a gold tooth), which naturally leads to the monster truck arc, which is a big event, so anything that needs to happen "early" in the fic needs to happen before then—but if i do decide to push the monster truck arc to later on, that's less of a concern. Instead I could spend more time on foreshadowing Bill messing with Gideon.

[vote push it back]

you may have a point. The main thing is if i push it back, it would make the most sense to go in season 2 (when [SPOILERS SPOILERS]), BUT: one of the things I'd *like* to do with the finale is [SPOILERS SPOILERS x100] which needs Gideon. (Alternatively, I could make up some new, lower-key method for Bill to get Gideon under his thumb without meeting him at the monster truck rally—but I'd have to think up some Whole New Plot that's Interesting enough for that.)

####

Okay so i think my rough roadmap is. Tooth fairy plot -> Gideon chapter -> the axolotl eclipse -> the season finale. These four events contain most of my "MUST be done before the finale" events

####

I think the "makes progress on lucid dreaming" can be achieved during the Gideon chapter. I can bookend the chapter with a couple of his efforts, to show how he progresses over the chapter. *Maybe* I can shove one into the tooth fairy chapter, have a dream be interrupted by the dentist waking him

Yeah, there are two dreams I know I want to happen; a replay of Bill's mom dying where he "remembers"/admits that when he realized he hurt his mom, he *kept on pushing*; and a second replay where he seizes control of the dream and rewrites it so that it's like a big fun gory game (and thus re-burying the traumatic reality of what happened). I can put those at the beginning and end of Gideon's chapter.

####

Okay I think my current road map is:

tooth fairy -> bill figures out how to sneak out/dipper finds bill locked in the bathroom -> Gideon (+lucid dreaming) -> (Bill talks to Dipper about how he perceived the universe, leading to) The Eclipse -> Ford brings home a copy of Flatworld, letting the kids learn more about Bill's backstory/Fiddleford tells Ford the gun is ready, leading to -> the season one finale.

We're in the final stretch! No more random diversions, probably!

####

#anonymous #ask #about my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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mypoisonedvine · 10 months

Text

I hate hate hate having to talk about this stuff because I know 98% of y'all are not the problem, and the remaining 2% are probably not going to care in the slightest. but I need to set some boundaries and explain why I'm getting frustrated before any more resentment builds.

I've been writing for cillian murphy characters since july 26 when I posted 'thoughtless', since then I've released well over one hundred thousand words of content for him. I'm not exaggerating, I counted. it's been five and a half weeks and I've posted 14 full-length one shots which means I'm posting more than twice a week. that's not even including drabbles/requests.

I'm getting concerned that this has set a precedent that people are holding me to and I'm getting annoyed by the entitlement in some of my asks and comments.

first things first, and I know nobody means anything bad by this but it's pissing me off: stop using the phrase "full smut" in your requests, it's driving me crazy. this started abruptly after I posted a bunch of drabbles in one sitting based on y'all's ideas and requests. I did that as a way to try out new ideas and appease people who hadn't had their concepts written about yet. instead of people being happy with what I wrote for them, people got frustrated that the drabbles were drabble-length and not thousands of words long like my full fics (which take me several days to write, rather than an hour or less which is the point of short requests). ever since, people won't stop coming into my inbox talking about making a "full smut" for a certain character or idea as if they're terrified that I'll only post something short. I usually don't post short things. I feel now like those drabbles were a colossal waste of time because all they did was make people afraid I wouldn't write longer stuff; I wanted to open requests again because I had fun, but now I feel like it's a bad idea because it'll just leave people frustrated when they see it's not whatever a "full smut" is and then tell me it's incomplete and I need to write more. a short drabble can very well be a complete story. stop asking for "full smut" PLEASE. just tell me what you're interested in reading and trust that, as the author, I will tell the story in the correct length of time.

secondly, the way people are asking for stories about new characters is getting out of control. I think you guys don't realize that I only post less than half of the asks I get, because they are so repetitive and constant. I have literally over 2000 unanswered asks currently. if I answered all the asks I received, I would lose followers because it clogs the dash and half of them are the same questions.

and I'm just gonna say this one explicitly: please stop asking me to write for cillian's character in the movie 'anna'. I'm not saying that I won't or that I don't want to. but I need you to understand that I get easily 3-5 asks a DAY about this character and I am exhausted. I'm not particularly interested in watching the movie. not only does it look like it's probably just not that good, but on a very personal note, I am in recovery for an eating disorder (and relapsed recently) and I just... don't wanna watch a movie with a runway model in the leading role right now. I'm sorry if that feels like body shaming or something but I've been waiting until I feel like I can watch it without feeling sick or enraged. it should come as a surprise to no one who is familiar with my work that I'm not a particularly mentally healthy person. but that's only part of it; I answered asks about this character for a while saying I wanted to write for him eventually, but I had to stop because people just asked about him every day anyways without reading my very recent posts with the same question. I'm still not ruling it out. I'm just warning you guys that it will be a while.

people are now commenting requests for new characters ON MY CURRENT FICS FOR UNRELATED CHARACTERS. how entitled and dense do you have to be to do that? I can't believe this has to be said, but comments on my fics should be... related to the content of the fic you're commenting on.

to be clear, I'm not mad at anyone for doing this stuff (except that last one, that's unforgivably ridiculous) because I think the intentions are pure. but now that I've explained why this stuff bothers me, I'm asking you to put a little more thought into how you phrase your questions and comments. to be clear: for the most part I feel incredibly supported and appreciated here and I've been very impressed by this fandom's ability to not be morality police and manage their own content consumption. a lot of you have reached out with concern about the speed at which I was producing and I totally understand and value that. I honestly think I can keep up that pace for a little while longer... I just wanted to explain why I'm getting a little irritated and hopefully decrease the amount of asks I get repeating the same two or three things.

so, tl;dr -- I've been having a lot of fun writing and I plan to keep doing it as much as I can. some people are spoiling the fun for everyone by being (usually unintentionally) entitled and impatient. I don't mind you guys showing enthusiasm for things you'd like to see from me, in fact it's helpful because it tells me what might get a good reception. but please be thoughtful in how you make these requests and please support what I've already written if you want to see more. I think non-writers have a hard time understanding how inspiration works (hell, even writers don't really understand it in ourselves lol) and so it kinda just seems like if I can write about one thing I can write about any thing. but I only write so much and so fast because I write what speaks to me and not other people's ideas. again, thank you so much for all the love and support this past month!!

p.s. I also get asks multiple times a day asking when I will post a fic, especially if I've announced it. I always post fics between 4 and 5 PM central US time. I would recommend calculating when that is for you and I promise you'll find me posting very reliably at this time on days I have fics announced. hopefully this saves us all some trouble in the future lmao

#long post

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mosylufanfic · 10 days

Text

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @rifle-yes, the fool

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

See answer #3 below, but the short version is that I started writing and posting stories at the Derbyshire Writer's Guild, a Jane Austen fanfic site. And it's all been downhill from there.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Oh boy. Hang on. This is a hard one because multiple of my fandoms are like, within a larger fandom? So there's a good amount under the Star Wars umbrella, and a bunch of Jane Austen, and a lot of DCTV. Going back and counting the major fandoms (the ones I remember being really into and doing several fics for, as opposed to just one or two to scratch an itch), I think it's seven. If you do count the one-offs, it's more like 12 or 15. Look, I've been on many fic sites and I'm still trying to get off my ass and archive everything on AO3. It's hard!

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Pretty much since forever? I remember writing Little Mermaid fic in fourth grade, although I didn't really have that word for it at the time. And there was an epic (and epically bad) Star Wars sequel that I worked on for years in my tweens. I started posting fic online at 19 when I realized that was a thing I could do (see #1). So in terms of writing fic that I shared with other fans, 24 years.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely read, although there are times where it's a close run thing.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I think my worldbuilding has improved over the years. I never did it on purpose, but I see a definite uptick in how deeply I think about the worlds I'm writing in and the various implications of that for the characters.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh so many things! I freaking love research. I think the most morbid (and mathiest) was trying to estimate how much air a man had available in a 10x10 space buried underground.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

This is like asking what kind of cake is best, but I do love the ones that pick up on something I didn't even realize about the story. I had one recently that pointed out a shift in language that signaled deeper and more focused intimacy in the course of a smut scene. And I was like, ". . . huh. Well, I'll be. That sure did happen."

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I think probably the Space!Paperwork in Lost & Found was the fringiest thing I've ever done.

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Oh, man, longfics. I often come up with an idea and I just know from the shape of it that it's going to be a a monster. And then I have to decide if I want to go through all the work of plotting and writing thousands and tens of thousands of words. That's why I have so many one-shots that are basically "pilot episodes" for longfics that will never be written.

10. What is the easiest type?

Modern AUs, especially high school AUs. There's so much there that's already known to the readers that I can just laser-focus on the part that's interesting to me.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I do a lot of my writing on Gdocs. I know they're the devil, but I might be settled down to work on four or five different machines throughout the course of my day, and half that time is on the public floor where I have to look available to help people. So to me, it's better to be able to quickly sign into a website and tap out that quick scene than to try and hide my phone under the desk and write on that horrible little keyboard. (I'll do that too, but only when I have no other option.)

Longfics get ported into Scrivener when they get too unwieldy for Gdocs, but I'm still more likely to write scenes in Gdocs and paste them into the Scrivener file when I'm done.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Probably some of the longfics that are knocking around in my brain, especially the ones that concern areas of the Star Wars canon that I never really got into.

13. What made you choose your username?

It's a nickname my mom used to call me when I was a teenager, and when I was picking my AIM screen name in college, that's what I went with. Actually, I had another one first that was objectively cooler, but I forgot the password to that account and either I was too dumb to reset it or there wasn't functionality for that. So mosylu it was. I also decided at the time that it would be my Internet Identity, and it still is.

Tagging @andorerso, @hedgiwithapen, @incognitajones, @colleybri, and @youareiron-andyouarestrong

#ask game #writing

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perpetualexistence · 4 months

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Tell us about your other Alenoaheather AU(s). I know you have them. 🔫

- Totally not Ophe

Hello completely random anon whose identity will forever be a mystery!

See, with the way you've phrased this, you've actually opened yourself up to a few options. I'll tell you a little bit about each one and you can tell me which one you want to learn more about first.

Currently unnamed G/T Alenoaheather

Definitely the most detailed AU of the bunch. It's got backstories and character arcs for each of the three. Probably the best way to describe it is Urban fantasy since none of them are (completely) human, but they pretty much live in a modern setting.

It does get dark at times. Think Beastars-adjacent in terms of vibes. Including the murder bits. But it's mostly self-defense or being forced into it, so take that as you will. I will say that it's nowhere near the levels of toxic relationships that something like the Sea Monster AU has. And they do actually improve as people. These three still get drama mind you, but it's from keeping secrets rather than being genuinely manipulative. ...Well. Too manipulative. It does have Alejandro and Heather in it. But it's got fluff moments because fluffy giant/tiny dynamics are precious and must be preserved at all costs.

It's got Alejandro who's a giant-shifter able to grow even larger than most other giant-shifters thank to his Burromuerto heritage. The Burromuertos are a completely upstanding giant-shifter family and definitely don't have any incredibly fucked up family traditions they expect Alejandro to continue.

Noah's a were-mongoose. Werefolk come in a large variety, though mongoose is on the far more uncommon side. Unlike most werefolk, this kid genius actually figured out a way to not completely give into his instincts during full moons. This has absolutely no negative repercussions on his wellbeing.

Heather who's a giant-shifter hybrid unable to grow thanks to her human heritage from her father's side. She's the only one of her siblings unable to grow. She definitely doesn't have a complex about this. But she has managed to find her own way of making herself just as much of a physical threat as her two boyfriends. (Aka the day I take away from Heather's inherent badassery is the day I die.)

Serial Killer AU

It's exactly what it sounds like. With exactly the vibes the name implies. Definitely the darker one. They're just a thriving villain throuple with a body count. It's also mostly Noah-focused so far as I haven't figured out Alejandro or Heather's motivations.

Noah stumbles across a body of a serial killer spree, only to be the first to realize that one serial killer is actually two. Curiosity leads him to investigate...but not for the reasons you'd think.

(For this one that's pretty much all I can share before just going into the whole AU)

And then, on the completed side since might as well dump all the Alenoaheather AUs:

Noah and the Beanstalk

Another giant/tiny AU! This one's actually got its own post already. I don't really have anything else that I didn't already mention in that post. But it's my blog, so I'll advertise my own AUs as I please!

Collab AUs

The Royal Court AU

Originally named The Lords In Black AU because it was originally inspired by me watching an animatic of The Summoning from Nerdy Prudes Must Die. Then it evolved into something far beyond that where the name doesn't seem quite right anymore.

It's got Alenoaheather as the worst teens at school and unashamed about it. ...Until Alejandro goes missing, and nobody else really seems to care. Leaving Heather and Noah to investigate and try their best not to be next.

They fail, but hey, at least they get cool eldritch powers out of it!

This AUs also dark because the premise is them being kidnapped to be used as sacrifices. And it's got plenty of eldritch horror in it. The posts for it are scattered because they ended up going into two separate reblog chains with @total-drama-brainrot and @ur-local-brown-multifandomist. If you look up 'lords in black au' on my blog you should be able to find most of it. I'm going to just centralize it for ease of organization one day. It'll just be. You know. Effort.

Also, @ur-local-brown-multifandomist is currently making a fic for it! It's their first one, so feel free to check it out.

Fake Dating Alenoaheather AU

This one's a collab AU between me and @total-drama-brainrot, a person you have never met because you are a completely anonymous anon. Noah gets caught in between Heather and Alejandro's attempts to make the other jealous by each making him pretend to be their boyfriend. Shenanigans and drama ensue. The posts for this are also scattered and tagged on both our blogs, and one day we might make a fic about it. For now, there actually is someone already making a fic about it that you can feel free to read!

I still can't believe two different people decided to start making fic of AUs I helped create. It's wild, and I'm incredibly touched.

"Why are all of these AUs except for one dark in at least some way?"

I honestly couldn't tell you exactly why my brain works the way it does. It just decided that the two canon villains and one-villain coded teenager deserve to be at least a little feral. As a treat.

Maybe one day I'll have an AU with them that's not so dark. That day will be a surprise to us all.

But yeah, that's all of the Alenoaheather AUs I got! The first two I'm more than happy to go into more detail for if you ask!

#perp answers ask #perp rambles #alenoaheather #alenoaheather au #td alenoaheather #lords in black au #giant/tiny #serial killer au #fake dating alenoaheather #cw murder #tw murder #murder mention #currently unnamed g/t alenoaheather au #i've seriously got to come up with a better name for tagging purposes #total drama

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vidavalor · 8 months

Note

I just happened upon your blog (right terminology?) and I’m learning a lot. One thing that startled me was your referring to Crowley and Aziraphale’s love (sex) life as a matter of course, something seemingly everyone but me knew about. I was blown away and really wanted it to be true. After all, they’ve had to do without so much—openness, safety, the expectation of future togetherness. It would too unfair if they had to do without physical consummation too. What’s the deal with this? How do we know it’s so? What’s the history? Please enlighten me. Have you written posts about this? I’d love to read them. Thanks

Hello! Thanks for the ask. Nice to meet you. I call it a blog because I'm old and don't know the cool terms but we can call it whatever lol. I have no idea re: how many people who view the show and are able to see that Crowley & Aziraphale are more than friends (because, believe it or not, that concept still shocks some lol) who think that they're already lovers. I do think I'm sort of in the minority, maybe, even if there are a bunch of people who think that they're already a thing. When scrolling through the Ineffable Husbands tag on here, I tend to see a lot more posts that suggest that they aren't lovers and that 2.06 was their first kiss. (Let's hope that it's not lol.)

I guess I would say that if you are thinking about whether or not they might be, consider that Good Omens shows you most of its story out of chronological order in order to give layered meaning to the stuff you've already seen so, just with that knowledge alone, it would be actually pretty surprising if 2.06 was the first time they'd kissed. In S2 itself, earlier on, there's some heavy suggestion that it's not. If you want to read about when I think that happened, go here and I'll link you one more post at the bottom of this response here:

While I like to read all points of view-- I read a lot of aro ace GO stuff as well, even if I don't necessarily see that in my own interpretations of things-- I have thought they were sleeping together since the first time I watched S1 a few years back and S2 just kinda reinforced that for me. I think that, technically-speaking, there's a path to either they still haven't gotten together or that they're long-time lovers. I say that but honestly... it's more like if they somehow do something that suggests that they're only getting together during/after S3, I think it could kinda work but I honestly don't actually think that's the story they're writing. I'm pretty firmly set on the idea that they've been sleeping together for, uh, a very long time at this point. Someone told me the other day via messages that they would burn my house down if I did not finish a sex meta that I promised people so I best maybe get on that and also potentially call the police lol. (I am both flattered and scared?). So, uh, I'll get that up soon... I wrote a couple of longer metas lately about different eras of their relationship that are replies to recent asks on my blog-- I'd probably recommend the one about what they call each other and coded love confessions in 1941, if you're looking to read about them as a couple that's already a couple (even if they would have an anxiety attack at the word 'couple', as Crowley does in 2.06 lol). Will link it below. I'm very flattered that you and others have asked to read more of what I think and I have gotten asked a lot for more sex-related content so, uh, watch this space, I guess? :)

Make yourself a tea first or plan to come back to it as I'm wordy lol:

#ineffable husbands #good omens

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captainsophiestark · 4 months

Text

Galentine's Day

Platonic!Natasha "Phoenix" Trace x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Top Gun

Summary: Natasha and her best friend are about to spend their first ever Galentine's Day apart, since Natasha's in Miramar for training. That is, unless her best friend has something to say about it.

Word Count: 2,683

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: Happy early Galentine's Day to everybody who celebrates!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"I'm sorry. I tried so many times to get leave, but I just couldn't make it happen. This training's mandatory, and there's no chance I can get away until it's over."

"That's okay," I said, giving my best friend my most convincing understanding-but-sad face. "We were bound to be in different places for Galentine's Day, eventually."

Natasha huffed. "I guess. It just felt like we'd always find a way to make it work, you know?"

"I know. But at least we can say a little Happy Galentine's Day via FaceTime!"

Nat sighed. "Yeah, I guess it's better than nothing. So do you have any plans today? I'm basically going from this call to lectures with brass to flying with a bunch of guys including the Bagman, so... not an ideal Galentines Day."

I grimaced. "That sounds rough. Try not to let them get you down! And, actually, speaking of plans... I'm so sorry, but I have to go. I promised to help a friend move, since we couldn't go do any of our usual celebration today, and they're expecting me in like ten minutes."

"Oh. Oh, yeah, that's okay. I should actually probably get prepared for the start of our training for the day, but... have an amazing day, alright? You're the best."

"Noyou."

We shared a smile that quickly faded. She clearly didn't want to say goodbye, and I'd ruin the surprise if I looked like I was in a rush to get off the phone.

"Well... I'll talk to you later?" I said, trying to sound hesitant. Nat took a deep breath and smiled.

"Yeah. Text me when you're free and we'll figure it out."

I nodded, gave her a little wave, then hung up the call. I grinned. That had gone perfectly. I was confident she had no idea I was outside the Hard Deck, right now. She was going to be so surprised.

My childhood best friend, Natasha Trace, and I had a long-standing tradition of celebrating Galentine's Day together to celebrate our friendship, get together no matter where in the world we were, and do whatever the hell we wanted as long as it was together. This was the first year where we wouldn't be able to do that—at least, as far as Natasha knew.

In reality, I'd found a way to cancel my schedule conflicts and buy a flight to San Diego to surprise her. I'd managed to get in touch with Rooster, one of her closer aviator friends, to get her schedule, and after keeping the secret for a month and a half I was finally going to tell her. She would be so excited.

I took a deep breath, then crossed the remaining parking lot space to get to the Hard Deck. I pushed open the door and stepped in to find more than a few Navy pilots hanging around, which tracked with just about everything Nat had ever told me about this place. It didn't take me long to find my friend, thankfully, as she was heading for me and the door with Rooster trailing behind her.

"Phoenix, don't you want to play another round of pool? We can't let Hangman win!" he protested, clearly trying to stall her. I smiled to myself and headed in their direction.

"No, I don't, Rooster," she said. "I've got some things to take care of, I'll see you at training, alright?"

Rooster looked ready to keep arguing, but then he looked up and caught sight of me. He stopped in his tracks and smiled at me, and I gave him a little nod before turning my attention to Nat.

"I hope you can ditch those things you've gotta take care of for your best friend," I said, an absolutely shit-eating grin spreading across my own face. Nat's head snapped up at the sound of my voice, and her jaw dropped when she saw me standing just a few feet from her.

"You- You're supposed to be- But- Dude!"

She rushed forward, absolutely beaming, and wrapped me in a bone crushing hug. I laughed and hugged her right back, just as tight.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, incredulous laughter dripping from her words.

"Surprising you! Obviously!" We smiled at each other as we finally pulled apart, Natasha still shaking her head like she couldn't believe I was here. "When you said you couldn't get leave, I started problem solving to find a way to get time off work. It wasn't easy and I didn't want to get your hopes up, so I didn't tell you. Then once I got approved, I thought it would be more fun if I could surprise you! So I got Rooster to tell me your schedule and then I got on a plane!"

Nat whirled around to look at Rooster, who just grinned back at her, then turned back to me.

"That's sneaky as hell, but also incredible. Oh my god, I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," I said, grinning as I closed the distance to wrap her in a one-armed hug. "And I have everything planned for tonight, the minute you're free of Navy stuff. We're gonna do Galentine's Day right. But I didn't plan anything for this morning, so... what do you want to do?"

She shot me a look that I knew meant trouble.

"How about beating all the other Navy pilots at pool?"

"Sounds perfect."

We ended up at the pool table in the back of the bar for the better part of an hour, before the pilots had to leave for training. Nat and I had gotten good at pool in high school, since it was fun to absolutely run the table together at parties, and we wiped the floor with the other pilots in every round we played. By the time they headed off to training, Nat had at least one game each to hold over their heads until the next time they played.

Since Nat couldn't get leave, she still had to spend most of the day doing Navy stuff. Luckily for me, we were in San Diego. It was an absolutely beautiful day, so I killed time waiting for Nat by walking along the beach and relaxing in the sand. I finally left for my hotel room with a little over an hour to spare before she would be free from training.

We met up right outside the base at Miramar, after Nat had changed out of her uniform and flight suit. She grinned as she walked out to meet me at my car, and I grinned right back.

"So where are we going?" she called. I just smiled.

"Get in the car and find out!"

She shook her head, but she didn't protest, and within a few minutes we were on our way. I had our favorite playlist, one we made our senior year of high school, playing over the speakers, and it felt for a second like we'd never left our hometown, driving around in the evening together getting up to mischief.

"So, how was training?" I asked. She hummed.

"It was fine. We're learning a lot, actually, which I really didn't expect. We're all already the best of the best. Bagman's being obnoxious as always, which is the main downside."

"You like Bob though, right? Your new WSO?"

"Yeah, he's great. He's become a pretty good friend, too, which makes some of the other idiots easier to deal with."

"Thank God for that."

"No kidding."

We rode in comfortable silence for a little further, until Nat finally clocked our destination not far ahead of us.

"No. No, no way, we are not going there."

"Yes we are! Come on, it'll be fun!"

"I am not doing karaoke."

"You've done it before! You even have a good voice! What's the problem?"

"Because it's Galentine's Day, and I can pretty much guarantee you that at least half of the guys in my training group are in there or will be soon."

I shot her a look as I pulled into a parking space.

"You think a bunch of Navy pilots with giant egos are going to be at karaoke on a Tuesday night?"

"Yes. In fact, I know they are."

I snorted. "Well then they're ridiculous and have no leg to stand on judging us. We'll just ignore them, have a blast, and then move on to the Galentine's Day finale when we're ready."

Nat sighed and shook her head, but she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door anyway.

"Fine. Just be prepared to get heckled on a level our high school classmates could only dream of."

"Oh, I feel confident we can give back just as good of heckling as we get."

The corner of her mouth quirked up at the idea, and we headed inside. I'd booked us a table, and we could order dinner and drinks here to go with the singing, which made it absolutely perfect. We just had time to place our orders, put our names in the karaoke queue, and settle in before a loud group of aviators came stumbling over each other and through the front door.

I turned to Nat with my mouth open, shaking my head in disbelief.

"I can't believe you were right. Do they seriously have nothing better to do tonight?"

She just raised an eyebrow and gave me a look, and I sighed. This didn't really change anything, luckily for us. So we'd have a little bit of an audience that Nat knew. We'd done karaoke in front of our entire high school before, and this definitely wouldn't be more nerve-wracking than that.

The other aviators didn't notice us right away, giving Nat and I time to chat and catch up and swap stories from our lives in peace. Our drinks arrived, and not too long after, we were up for our first duet of the night. We shared a smile and did the handshake we'd come up with in middle school, then headed up to the stage.

A few of the aviators whooped when they saw us, and I saw Nat trying to hide a smile. Like pool, we were good at this, and if there was one thing I knew about my best friend, it was that she loved showing off, especially when she could flex on the guys.

The music started and Nat and I fell into our familiar, ridiculous routine, dancing and singing our hearts out to a performance we'd had down for the better part of a decade. The audience faded away a little as my best friend and I hammed it up, enjoying the opportunity to be silly with each other again. By the time we finished, the crowd was cheering for us, and I could tell from the looks on the faces of the other Top Gunners that they were well and truly impressed. As they should've been.

We spent the rest of the night laughing, drinking, and occasionally singing. Some of Nat's friends wandered over to talk or try to join us, but we chased them all off after a few minutes. They seemed nice enough, but the whole point of Galentine's Day was to spend it with my best friend, with no distractions (especially from men). The one and only exception for the entire night was Rooster, who convinced us to join him for a three-person song on stage. His energy matched ours enough that we said yes, and we had the whole place rocking and cheering and singing by the time our song was over.

"That was great! Phoenix, I didn't know you were so good at karaoke!" Rooster called over the noise of the bar as we headed off the stage. It was getting late, but the energy of the bar just seemed to be ratcheting up more and more, no one showing signs of tiring.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Rooster," she said, shooting him a grin. He laughed, then turned to me.

"You should be here all the time. Do you know what I'd give to regularly see Hangman lose at pool?"

I laughed. "Nat can take him any day of the week, with or without me!"

"Yeah, but he knows that. Watching you clean his clock was even better than usual."

"Well maybe next time I need your help planning a surprise visit, it'll be to surprise Hangman with absolute destruction in a bunch of competitions."

"All you have to do is say the word, and you can count me in to help."

The three of us shared a smile, and then Rooster gestured back towards the small karaoke stage.

"Should I put us in for another song?"

Natasha and I shook our heads at the same time, which got an eyebrow raise out of Rooster.

"Sorry, but it's Galentine's Day," I said.

"Which means we're not hanging out with any of the male population of my program. You got one exception, Roos, but that's it."

"It was nice to meet you in person, though! And thanks again for the help surprising Nat!"

Rooster just stared at us like he wasn't quite sure whether we were serious. We didn't give him a chance to formulate a question before turning around, arm in arm, and heading back to our table. I heard him bark out a laugh as we went, but neither of us turned around.

"So what's the plan?" asked Nat as she slid back into her seat. "Do we need to come up with our next song, or do you have something else on our itinerary?"

"Something else! So finish your drink, because we're out of here."

She raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't ask any questions as she did as I said. She knew me well enough to know she'd never get the details of a surprise out of me, if I didn't want to give them.

A few moments later, we paid and headed out of the bar. We didn't give the other aviators a backwards glance before stepping out into the cool night air of San Diego. I smiled, taking in a deep breath and linking my arm with Nat's again.

"So where are we going?" she asked after doing the same.

"Don't you worry. Just follow me."

She shook her head, but she was grinning nonetheless as we began our short walk. Less than five minute later, we found ourselves at the edge of the beach, looking out at the night sky reflected against the dark water. I dropped my arm from Nat's to pull off my shoes, then stepped out into the sand.

"The beach feels like a good end to the holiday to me. What do you think?" I asked, turning back to look at Nat with a smile. She grinned, quickly ditching her own shoes to join me.

"I think you're right."

The two of us walked along the surf for a little while, before finding a spot we liked to sit down in the sand, shoulder to shoulder, looking out at the water while the waves gently lapped up on shore. I sighed, leaning back on my hands and staring up at the stars.

"I miss living near you," I mused. She sighed, dropping back onto her elbows, almost fully laid out on the sand.

"I miss living near you, too. But just think. When I eventually retire from the Navy, we can get houses next to each other and be ridiculous, chaos-causing women heading into our late middle age and still act like dumb twenty year-olds together."

I snorted. "Alright yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to that."

Natasha sighed, and we sat there in comfortable silence for a while, staring at the beautiful night before us. After a moment, I dropped my head onto her shoulder. We sat like that for a long time, just enjoying being in the same place again, at least for a little while.

I didn't want to leave in a few days; I wanted longer here, more time spent with my best friend in the world. But I knew, no matter how far apart we moved or how long we went without talking sometimes, she would always be there for me, and I would always be there for her. And no boyfriend, governmental agency, or other job or circumstance would ever come in the way of that.

We were forever-Galentines.

****************

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