#im losing my mind in this fandom

[aquarri]

.

[mushramoo]

while explaining the fnaf lore to my roommate, she got to the part where Ennard kicks out baby. And for context this girl watched survivor and total drama island religiously all of her childhood. So her instinct was to say “Baby, you got too many votes and have been voted off” as she played the survivor theme in the background

[dolcevenus777]

how can such a beautiful woman be so crazy in the head (self-criticism)

[junijupi]

y'all i can't even defend myself anymore. WIP

[stanleynopines]

I swear this book is going to kill me

[tiffysdeath]

i rewatched this scene an embarrassing amount of times😖

[a-clown-with-wings]

meowww :3c (haiii)

HAIIIII :DDDD

[dizzystqrs]

just thinking about how if lewis told charlotte he was terribly afraid of the water & she decided to physically pick him up and carry him out over the sea while he begged her to stop & go back, there would be antagonistic music playing in the background, the girls would have immediately told lewis to break up with her or even intervened, the fandom would be making (more) hate posts, etc. to this day i cannot believe ash got away with that in the show

[erial-c]

elliott feeling like he misses sunshine bur not being able to pinpoint why because to him they've haven't been apart at all oh my gooodd. brachium when i GET you .

[auguste-marmonts-only-fan]

Letters between Napoleon and Marmont (all they do is fight)

Auguste de marmont is one of the emperors oldest friends but how did they treat each other during times of personal conflict?

Dear readers, take a nice cozy seat and get some popcorn becouse this is going to be LONGGGGG and juicy

But before we start:

What are they talking about: Marmonts governing being too expensive

Who is talking?: Auguste de Marmont , Napoleon Bonaparte and Minister of war: Henri-Jaques Guillame-Clarke

LET THE PETTINES BEGIN :

MINISTER OF WAR TO MARMONT

Paris, March 7, 1808. General, accounts have been submitted to His Majesty that the war treasurer of the Kingdom of Italy, who is in the army commanded by you, was forced, according to your orders, to pay in advance from the funds intended for the salary and living expenses of the Italian troops, the sum of four hundred seventy-three thousand two hundred and eighty-two francs for the costs of artillery, engineering, provisions and various other expenses. His Majesty has ordered me to inform Your Excellency that he does not approve of your conduct on this occasion. It is my duty to warn you that the funds for artillery, engineering works and the supply of headquarters are determined by the decrees of His Imperial Majesty the Prince Viceroy of Italy, and that they cannot be exceeded until new orders are issued. The Emperor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the expenses of the army, noticed that the expenses of the Dalmatian army are considerable and that this army costs more than another army twice as large. Paris, March 20, 1808. His Majesty wishes that the administration of the army with which you command to be more orderly and that it doesn't damage the treasury

So, in short: these provinces are more trouble than they are worth

MARMONT TO NAPOLEON

Zadar, March 30, 1808. Sire, two days ago, I received a letter from the Minister of War expressing your majesty's displeasure regarding various provisions regarding Italian funds and the administration of the Dalmatian Army. Since the object of all my endeavors is to carry out your Majesty's intention and your esteemed goodness, I am deeply grieved by the reproaches addressed to me. I sent the minister a clear and simple description of the real situation, and I dare say that he removes every excuse and the slightest accusation.Removed from Your Majesty for almost three years, denied the pleasure of making war, while almost the entire army fought before your eyes, in a cruel distance and painful inactivity, I find the only consolation in the thought that here in this neglected service assigned to me, I do everything in my power to serve you as best as possible Your Majesty, that's why nothing is more painful for me than to lose hope by assuring you that all my actions have always been aimed at this goal.

Oh no....he's pulling the "but I did it for you!" card

MARMONT TO MINISTER OF WAR

30. March 1808 I have just received the letter which Your Excellency had to force on me on the 7th of March, in which he expresses His Majesty's displeasure at the use of Italian funds. — I believe that even a clear and simple description is not enough to justify me, and I earnestly ask you to present my letter to His Majesty.From the entry of the French into Dalmatia until the month of May, the Italian government did not give a single penny for the needs of the artillery in Dalmatia. Since Zadar did not have any weapons, it was necessary to do everything, build everything, and despite the considerable costs, this fortified place still does not have adequate weapons. Since the monthly funds were approved only from June 1807, it was necessary to find a way to pay for the work done in the previous sixteen months. The works on the fortifications that were carried out before or after my arrival on the fortresses in Hvar, Šibenik and Knin were in accordance with the provisions of His Majesty which were known to the chief of the engineering units. The execution of these works required weaponry, and since the artillery had no means, it was necessary to acquire them. That's all about the artillery works in Dalmatia. Prince Eugène sent me a letter on August 2, here are a few passages: 》His Majesty instructs me to write to you that it is his wish that you not evacuate Dubrovnik, but rather that you strengthen its heights.《 He wrote to me on July 26:

》The Emperor orders me to write to you that he cares very much about the position of Ston to order General Poitevin to trace the mighty fortress in that position and to hasten the works. The emperor wants this fortress to cross the Pelješac peninsula in a way, etc., etc. that you must build a fortress on the Holy Cross, a fortress on the island of Lokrum《

On September 8, he wrote to me:

》His Majesty orders me to write to you that you must work day and night on the fortresses of Dubrovnik and Ston.《 The Duke of Neufchâtel wrote to me on July 8, 1807:

》Dubrovnik must remain definitively annexed to Dalmatia; you must, therefore, continue to determine and refine it as best as possible.《 His Majesty's wishes were quite clear and obvious; and in defiance of my request and persistent requests for the establishment of the Dubrovnik Arzava, nothing was given in 1806 except seventy-seven thousand francs, of which six or seven thousand had already been spent before my arrival, and only nineteen thousand three hundred francs since acquisition in 1807 until today, although it took more than three hundred thousand francs to execute (and only provisionally) the orders issued to me. I captured the Boke forts. It was necessary to arm the Kotor. There were no special funds for this purpose, despite everything I asked and said. However, the works were urgent. Only a few days ago, His Majesty honored me by writing to me: 》I presume that measures have been taken to protect him from force of a squadron of twelve to fifteen ships of the line if it reaches Kotor or Dubrovnik. Please answer this question《

After this letter, I considered it my duty to increase the defense facilities of the anchorages in Dubrovnik and Herceg-Novi, and these are currently underway. So much for engineering work .The fact is that no funds were opened for artillery works in Dalmatia until June 1807, and that at this moment not even a quarter of the funds needed by the engineering units for the execution of urgent works ordered in the state of Dubrovnik and Albania were approved. And yet it was necessary to ensure the costs for both,

During the war with the Russians, our communications through the sea channels were completely blocked. The troops therefore had to move by land road. This traffic was made more difficult by the two strong rivers of Neretva and Cetina, on which there were no means for an organized crossing, it was necessary to build bridges on ships over them; without a doubt, it would be unforgivable if, in the case of the siege of Dubrovnik, I could not come to the rescue due to the impossibility of crossing these rivers. My possible march can not be compared with the march of General Molitor. He arrived in Split and Ston by sea, he would never have been able to help Dubrovnik if the Russians had already blocked the canals, as they did later and from where they never left for the whole of 1807 until peace.

As for the siege supply, since we built a powerful fortress on Hvar, since we equipped the defense of Ston, since we fortified Knin and since I had to guard against Austria, since Hvar could be blocked, as after all was a full six months, it was necessary to provide supplies in those places for the crews that defended them.

As for Your Excellency's remark that His Majesty thinks that the Dalmatian army costs more than another one that would be twice as strong, I would like His Majesty to deign to explain his opinion. I am aware that there is no more order in any army than in this one, for I have carefully supervised all the offices of administration; in this matter, I can only provide the supreme issuer of payment orders, Aubernon, with satisfactory evidence. If His Majesty wishes to compare the business transacted before my arrival, with those afterward, he will find that the administration has gradually become more economical by about thirty percent.

When I arrived, in July 1806, a meal of meat cost the state thirty-four cents: today, it stands at twenty-two cents and three quarters. At the same time, a meal of bad bread cost forty-one cents, and today, excellent bread costs twenty-seven to twenty-eight cents. Extraordinary purchases are paid in units of cash on sight and as military pay at the cost of a fifteen cents as determined by His Majesty to be reduced when possible. Somewhat more significant expenses were the only ones intended for the port across the sea, I thought I could order it in order to ease the financial toll to the recruits from Italy who were overworked, exhausted from the difficult journey and weakened by long-term illnesses that they overcame that summer: this kind of expenditure will not be repeated in the future.

Another expenditure which may seem considerable, and which I submitted to you, was made due to officers sent to Constantinople, officers and couriers sent to the Grand Army during 1807, artillerymen sent towards Constantinople, officers sent all over Turkey to draw up itineraries and carried out reconnaissance; this expenditure could not have been less, all these journeys having been expressly ordered, the report sent to your Excellency contains the names of the persons entrusted with these missions as well as the expenses for each of them individually.

I never received an extraordinary salary, nor did I have my own funds, that's why I could only and exclusively take the money for the mentioned expenses from the army treasury and that legitimately because I was authorized to do so by a letter from the Duke of Neufchâtel, which I had the honor of sending you the transcript itself.

The overrun of the treasury in the Dalmatian Army only happened at the end of the summer of 1806; then its administration depended on the Italian one; no distribution of funds was made and that is why all the services suddenly failed and that is why there was a terrible mess everywhere.

For the last fifteen or sixteen months, since Minister Dejean has been directly allocating funds, everything has been going smoothly and properly because he foresees all our needs and takes care of them.

I earnestly wish that His Majesty would demand detailed accounts of the administration of the Dalmatian Army; I dare to believe that there will be reason to be satisfied; if he deigns to observe that, owing to good administration, this army has never had more than seven hundred patients in the hospitals at one time, and that the mortality has almost entirely declined, although nine thousand boys have passed through the hospital during the year, he will see that the provisions were well, if the supervision had been constant, we would have achieved the most important of all savings — saved human lives.

Furthermore, since my first goal, my most ardent desire, is to accurately execute His Majesty's decisions, I earnestly beg you to tell me how I must govern myself in the future when the execution of the orders I receive is not in accordance with the available means.

Well uh......that was alot

NAPOLEON TO MARMONT

Bayonne, May 8, 1808. Mr. General Marmont, the salary of the Dalmatian Army has been stopped because you spent four hundred thousand francs from the treasury for the expenses. It can't go on like this. The cashier made a big mistake in obeying your order. Since the Treasury pays the expenses, this service can not operate so irregularly. You have no right to exceed the cash register under any pretext. You must request loans from the minister. If he does not approve them, you must not enter into the costs,

Bayonne, May 16, 1808. Mr. General Marmont, there is too much disorder in the administration of my army in Dalmatia. You allowed the cash register to be overdrawn by more than four hundred thousand francs. However, you had a loan of four hundred thousand francs available for engineering and artillery work. That's a considerable sum, and how come you didn't have enough? Dalmatia is costing me a lot; there is no order, and all of this introduces a mess into financial operations that we are no longer used to. The treasurer is responsible for all these sums; I ordered until he was recalled; you must hurry and send all the necessary papers to settle the accounts. However, all this does not justify the expenses incurred. You have no right to dispose of a single pair if the minister has not made it available to you. When you need a loan, you have to request it

OH SHIT BONEY CUT HIM OFF

so how did Marmont respond to this?

BY WRITTING A TEN PAGE LETTER OF COURSE .

Yes TEN whole pages, but sadly my book copy didn't want to translate all of that so they just put this message lol:

(Since in this extensive ten-page letter, Marmont mostly repeats, but in a more polite tone, the reasons for the cost overruns that he had already exhaustively stated in the previous letter to the Minister of War dated March 30, 1808, we did not consider it necessary to translate)

MINISTER OF WAR TO MARMONT

Paris, September 26, 1808. General, I presented to His Majesty the details sent to me by Your Excellency regarding the use of funds taken from the treasury of the Italian troops to meet the expenses of the engineering and artillery of the army you command.His Majesty established that the works of the engineering services stemmed from the order that he actually sent to Your Excellency that they were conditioned by the immediate needs of the army. It also determined that the costs for these works should be borne by the Kingdom of Italy. Accordingly, it ordered that the costs in question remain borne by Italy. He informed His Imperial Majesty the Viceroy about the Emperor's decisions, and it seems that the issue of the mentioned expenses has been completely settled. The scope of my ministry includes only advances for extraordinary expenses that have already been incurred and special funds that Your Excellency requested for possible future expenses. I informed the Emperor about this, but he still hasn't informed me of his intentions. As soon as I receive His Majesty's decision, I will hasten to inform Your Excellency.

The issues? Solved? No way....

Saint-Cloud, 20. October 1808. Mr. General Marmont, regardless of the account you have placed on me, it is necessary that you correspond directly with the Minister of War and that you account to him for all affairs, not through your Chief of General Staff but directly. This provision refers to the king of Spain and Naples and the viceroy of Italy, who are the commanders of my armies.

"DUDE, everyone is getting sanctioned....chill out"

MINISTER OF WAR TO MARMONT

Paris, October 21, 1808. Mr. Duke, by special order of His Imperial Majesty, I have the honor to inform Your Excellency of the Imperial decisions regarding the relations that must exist in the future between the supreme commanders of the armies and the Minister of War. His Majesty has decided that Your Excellency, in his capacity as Supreme Commander of the Dalmatian Army, will in the future write about all official matters directly to me, and not through the Chief of the General Staff; which does not mean that the General Staff will not equally provide all the necessary explanations in detail and send me reports as usual. His Majesty instructs me on this occasion to inform Your Excellency that your responsibility will be covered, only if you write to me as Minister of War. The Emperor also adds that regardless of whether Your Excellency wrote to him directly, Your responsibility will not be covered by that, so in no case can Your Excellency not write to the Minister, even if he writes to the Emperor. These new provisions will strengthen and multiply my relations with Your Excellency, which will be even more pleasant for me, and I will do my best to prove it to you. I sincerely believe that Your Excellency will act in the same way and thus instill in our contacts a confidence that will make them useful for the good of the service to our mutual satisfaction.

And they are finally finished ..... 7 months later

I love these assholes so much 💖

TL;DR : Marmont being extra ☹️

(This is how I looked while reading)

[ghouldtime]

Random Rant on Fanfic Pet Names

Let me say this is more me screaming into the great unknown because it's something that I KEEP seeing and it keeps irking me and causing me to cringe out of my skin. Putting it under the read more, it's just a rant mainly about the COD fandom, you're not missing anything if you don't read this

Disclaimer: I mean absolutely no hate to the writers who do this. Because you should be writing what makes YOU happy and what YOU like to write. Writing is unique and independent to each individual and just because I don't like something doesn't mean that it's inherently bad or shouldn't be done. You do you, you go on your own journey - just cause we both like hiking doesn't mean we have to take the same trail or that one path is better than the other. Judging people like that who write different than you is nasty and policing harmless writing over little things is stinky sock sniffer behavior. Just cause it's my yuck doesn't mean it is everyone's and I don't expect everyone to agree with me nor is my point meant to be an objective truth or statement. It's literally just my feelings and I need to yell about it

The COD fandom in particular I've seen is atrocious for doing this. But I abhor when they make the characters use pet names like "pet" and "little girl" or "little boy".

Especially when they've literally JUST met

Every time I see it I immediately have to exit off the fic as I gag. I swear it's instinctive at this point. You know those videos of cats who do the extremely dramatic gagging when they smell something they slightly don't like? That's me. 110%

It comes up and I look at the page like this

It just feels so so gross to me and has this icky undertone that I cannot stand. And I don't know if I'm reading into it too much or if this is just me a me thing but I swear to any gods above this keeps happening. It's done so much I have tried putting filters on specifically to avoid it

It strikes me as so odd??? Like why that out of everything. Why something emphasizing age/maturity or treating the reader like they're a possession when it's a regular ass fanfic.

It makes my skin crawl and the possessive/dismissive undertones there are NOT cute. It always reads as ignoring reader's autonomy and treating them more like an object or thing instead of a person. When they just met too or the relationship really doesn't call for it or where it would be weird, it's just shoehorned in and I reallllly really really hate it oh man.

Like if it's established and is a fic where it's like "hey, this is what this is going to be! We're doing a nsfw/bdsm-y undertones here! That's the vibe!" Then great! Fantastic! That lines up, you're expecting that. Not when it's like a fluff fic or supposed to be super causal

I see this mainly with Ghost in fan fics. For some reason, he seems to be numero uno when it comes to calling reader "pet" as a form of endearment. I'm so sorry but I can't ever see him doing that. The guy who has extensive trauma with animals from his childhood, who would take an IMMENSE amount of time forming a close bond with someone to ever get into a relationship (following the comics for his history anyhow which is what I've seen most people do, Ghost has literally seen his family killed and has been through so so much trauma it's wild and the dude has a lot going on mentally), calling someone he cares about a pet??? I just don't see it happening. I sure as shit don't think he'd do that to near strangers either. Even if you ignored that past history for him or write Ghost different -that's just a flat out weird thing to call someone you don't know and has the implications of ownership/subservience on that person's part. Doing that to someone you REALLY do not know is insane

And the little girl/boy one used in conjunction with an age gap??? No??? That's just. So many shades of ew to me and is really putting emphasis on the wrong thing there (at least how I see it and in the context of the fic. I've never seen it used appropriately unless the reader is meant to be a literal child and it's a platonic fic. Context matters). ESPECIALLY when they emphasize reader is young (as in, barely legal, just turned 18/19 or heck even 20). Which I also keep seeing too when it is used. I'm not here for that reallllly creepy vibe that sounds like something you'd eventually hear about on Dateline or in a youtube exposé video

Like y'all. Anyone being shipped with them should be a grown ass adult because THEY are all grown ass adults. For me the little is never emphasizing size when paired with a gendered term, it's emphasizing how small their age is and that's wacky. Maybe that's just a me problem but when I hear "little girl" or "little boy", I'm thinking of a kid. Because girl/boy are most commonly used for children and when you're pairing it with little there, that's what you're emphasizing and you're practically guaranteeing that image.

Be real, if a guy you JUST met who you don't find attractive sneers and says, "Be quiet, pet." or "hush little girl/boy, " you wouldn't find that hot, you'd find that creepy. It's only excused because you're attracted to the character and find them hot. I'm picking a fight, I'm throwing hands if that's dropped on me in the real world out there. Probably not because I'm too non-confrontational but you bet im cringing and giving him the most:

look I can absolutely muster.

Maybe this is just a me thing and I'm losing my marbles. Or maybe it's the fact that I've had that happen to me where a dude I barely know called me "little girl/boy" (despite me being older?? and like the same height?????) and I just died on the inside viscerally that day

For the record if someone pulls the 'pet' card, I'm living up to it. I'm puking on the carpets somewhere in the dark at 3am, I'm yelling at the mailman and doorbells, I'm doing parkour off the couch when you're trying to sleep. Why the absolute hell are you calling someone you JUST MET that when it isn't even supposed to be that kinda nsfw fic.

It's one thing if the vibe is established and the tags are there and you know what you're getting into. But I lose my mind when it's a casual fluff or meant to be romantic and then all of a sudden, BAM THERE IT IS AGAIN.

It makes it so hard to read fics because it's like roulette, I swear I'm always suddenly hit with it and there goes my interest in trying again 🥲

To anyone who read this i admire your courage and akbwdbkawd im having a moment over here

(And hopefully everyone is having a snazzy day! 💚💚💚 my inbox is always open if you ever need to vent or need someone to talk to or want to join me yelling into the void)

Rant over,

Ghoul out

[monigote001]

I did it and I hate them so much/pos

[theangelofbrahma]

a vision which occurred to me during the s3 teaser

[whoisspence]

you know... sometimes i think about thomas gibson with his middle part fluffy hair and i start slowly losing my mind

[sporkberries]

Every time someone talks about Cassandra Cain without having read Batgirl(2000) i am owed $100 for psychological damages

[cryiling]

"guys mha is actually a decent show but the FANDOM ruins it–" brooo shut the fuck up, have you never heard about curating your own fandom spaces. EVERY fandom has their weird ppl, but every fandom ALSO has people who interact with the media the same way you want to. you don't need to write 50 disclaimers before saying you like a show, and you don't need to hate on a show just because there's some weird people in the fandom. you guys are sounding real immature rn