#imma say it first... SMASH-

[elderwisp]

𝔖𝔥𝔢 𝔤𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔭𝔬𝔴𝔡𝔢𝔯 ℑ 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔢, 𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔢

[penitenteyeball]

Dum de dum dum

Gonna add max tags and max characters to each cause who cares

[kayesfanfics]

Before He Cheats (Striker x Fem! Reader)

Summary: You’re a farmhand on Rough n’ Tumbleweed Ranch. When your boyfriend cheats on you, Striker is there to pick you back up.

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, cursing, sexual content

A/N: This is inspired both by Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood, and cowboy Pedro Pascal but with Striker, my fav cowboy. Also I’m like super proud of this ngl. Enjoy~

“That’s it, Sallie May! I’m burning down his house! His car! That fucker thinks he can sleep with some bitch and come crawlin’ back ta me?! Imma kill him! I will!” You ranted to your best friend, pacing back and forth in the family houses kitchen.

“I told ya that guy was no good, Y/N.” Sallie May shrugged from her spot sitting on the counter, watching you kick around the legs of a chair you had smashed to bits when you had gotten the text. Your boyfriend had cheated, and he only just now got around to telling you…THREE WEEKS LATER. He didn’t even have the balls to tell you in person, he had to do it over text so he didn’t face your wrath head on…but to be honest, that was a smart move. If he were here, you probably would’ve actually killed him.

“He told me I was different! He said he loved me!” You shouted, enraged and heartbroken.

“They always say that, darlin’.” A voice from somewhere behind you purred. You turned around, seeing the other farmhand of Rough n’ Tumbleweed Ranch.

“Hello, Striker.” You muttered, before finally bending down to pick up the ruined chair you had broken and had been tossing around the room, setting the pieces on the table.

“What’s with the chair?” Striker asked, leaning against the doorway.

“Y/N lost her shit.” Sallie May grinned as she hopped off the counter to grab a broom and sweep up the splinters of wood littering the floor.

“Aw, now why’s that, doll?” Striker asked, chewing on a piece of wheat.

“My goddamn boy-EX boyfriend, cheated on me weeks ago, and just now told me over TEXT! Can you believe that?! What kinda coward-“

“Oh, I can believe it. The men ‘round these parts are…sleazy.” He said, tossing the wheat piece in the pile of wood chips.

“Oh, excluding you, I presume?” You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well now, I ain’t no saint, but I’m no cheater. No honor in that.” He grinned as he approached you. “How abouts we head down to the bar, huh? Get some drinks, forget about that loser?”

“That…could be nice.” You admitted, blushing a little at how close Striker had gotten to you.

“What, I don’ get no invitation?” Sallie May piped up, grinning at you.

“Tell your mama I’m real sorry about the chair and I’ll fix it later. Please, Sallie May?” You whispered the last part to her. Everyone who had eyes had the hots for Striker, and she knew this could be a good lay to get your mind off your ex and move on quicker. So she finally nodded, and you winked at her before telling Striker you were gonna quickly change out of your dirty work gear.

You put something a little more bar-friendly on, making sure to choose a shirt that showed some extra cleavage, and a pair of jeans that made your ass look even better. Striker smirked and held an arm out for you to hold as he walked you out to his horse, Sallie May waving to you with a teasing grin on her face. You smiled when you reached Bombproof, petting the hell beast while Striker got the saddle ready, before helping you up and getting on himself. You wrapped your arms around his waist as he rode into town, heading to one of the nicer saloons in the area. Since you were deep in the country of Wrath, there was a place to tie your horse where they had a trough of water for them, and Striker held out his hand to help you off and walk you into the bar. The place was rather lively with twangy country music playing, some people watching some sports game on the tv, and others at tables eating or playing pool. You went up to the bar with Striker, ordering your first round and chatting with him.

“So, what was so great bout that little boyfriend of yours anyways? From what I heard from Sallie May, he was a real piece of shit.” Striker asked you as you took a swig of your drink.

“She got to you while I was upstairs, huh?” You chuckled, setting your drink down and rolling your eyes at your best friend.

“Oh yeah. Talked my ears off about how he “kinda-sorta” cheated before, he yelled at you a lot, you’re too forgivin’ of him, loved his car more than he loved you, yadda yadda.”

“That loud mouth.” You muttered under your breath before turning back to him. “Yeah, well, I learned my lesson. He was my first long term boyfriend, of course I let too much shit slide. But I won’ make that mistake twice.”

“Really? First boyfriend, huh?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Yer too pretty to just now have yer first boyfriend, sweet thing.” He winked at you before taking a sip of his drink, leaving you blushing up at him like some flustered schoolgirl.

“Quit that!” You smacked his arm playfully, knowing full well your face was red as a tomato. “I can’t imagine YOU’VE had many girlfriends yourself, tough guy.”

“And why’s that?”

“I don’ know, you don’ seem the type to like bein’ tied down is all.” You shrugged, tapping your nail on your glass.

“Yer right about that, I guess.” He sighed. “You got me, doll, I ain’t got much datin’ experience neither.”

“Oh? What about…experience with other relations?” You asked, a little more bold with some alcohol in your system.

“Whatcha mean by that, doll face?” Striker smiled back at you, both of you subconsciously leaning towards the other as you flirted.

You were about to answer, but man walked up to the both of you, knocking your drinks aside and the sticky liquid splashing all over you.

“Hey, watch it you-“ You were about to scold the person until you saw who it was. “You.”

“Yer gonna bitch at me bout cheatin while yer hangin off the arm of some random dick head?!” Your ex boyfriend yelled in your face drunkenly.

“Hey, back off her, dick head!” Striker shoved him off of you.

“Who the fuck are you anyways?” Your ex asked him, trying to puff out his chest and stand taller.

“Don’ matter, that ain’t how ya talk to her, sleaze bag.” Striker growled down at the man.

“Oh, so yer gonna hide behind this asshole, huh Y/N? I thought you were ‘sposed at be tough! You just gonna bend over fer him too?”

Your anger finally boiled over, and you pushed Striker aside to face your ex yourself. You decked him in the face so hard he fell backwards onto his ass, knocking over some other peoples table and getting food and drinks spilled all over himself. You glowered down at him, wanting to beat the shit out of him, but Striker snatched you up and dragged you out of the bar before you got into too much trouble. You yelled at Striker to let you go, squirming against his hold on you.

“Calm down, missy, before ya hurt yourself.” Striker said, only setting you down and letting go when you calmed down. You tried to rush past him back into the bar, but he was prepared and stopped you again.

“Let me kill him! Just a little!” You huffed as he drug you further away from the bar entrance.

“Not tonight, darlin’. Maybe another day, huh?” He suggested, letting you go again once you were drug out to the parking lot. You crossed your arms and pouted, needing to let your rage out somehow. Suddenly in your chaotic mind, a single thought stood out to you.

“His car.” You mumbled, looking around the parking lot.

“What’s goin on in that pretty lil head of yers?” Striker asked as he followed you, your eyes scanning the cars.

“His stupid fuckin’ car. He always loved that thing more than me.” You explained, smiling devilishly when you finally saw it. You went up to the souped-up sports car. “He spent more money on it than anything, its customized with some expensive ass shit.”

Striker grinned when he realized what you wanted to do. He even pulled a knife out of his belt and handed it to you, looking around for something else to use on the car. In a trash bin he saw a metal rod sticking put of it, so he grabbed it and watched you circle the nice car like a shark with its prey. The screech of metal on metal signaled you were digging the knife into he custom paint job, carving your name into it proudly. You got down and slashed his tires, stabbing them and watching them deflate before going to the other side of the car to give it the same treatment. Striker watched proudly as you destroyed this mans car, smirking and joining you not long after by smashing the windows in with the metal rod. You laughed when he joined in, stabbing the side of the car more and prying it open to give you access to the inside. You slashed his nice leather seats, tearing them to shreds and till the stuffing was falling out and flying in the air. You got out of the car and grabbed the metal rod from Striker, beginning to beat the shit out of this car, pretending it was your ex himself.

“Alright, alright, we gotta get outta here!” Striker said after letting you have your fun for awhile, but when some customers began to leave the bar, he knew it was time to go. You dropped the rod and took his hand, running off to the horses and getting on Bombproof while Striker untied him from the fence. You heard screaming in the distance, cackling when you realized it was your exes high pitched shrieks as he saw what had happened to his car.

“Come on, come on!” You laughed as Striker got on his horse, galloping away into the night. You listened to the screeches and screams of your ex with a smile on your face, reveling in the moment.

“He’s gon be so pissed when he sees your name on that thing!” Striker laughed loudly.

“So worth it!” You shouted back. “Thank you, Striker!”

“Not a problem, darlin’! You ready ta go home?” He asked as he slowed Bombproof down, far enough away from the bar you didn’t need to worry anymore.

“How abut we…” You smiled as your hands around his waist traveled further down his body. You felt hot and bothered after that adrenaline rush, and if you were being honest with yourself, you’ve been wanting to fuck this handsome cowboy for much longer than just tonight.

“One hotel room, comin’ up.” Striker smirked, before smacking his tail on Bombproof to make him run off. You held onto him as he raced the two of you to the nearest motel, tying Bombproof up at another fence before taking your hand and leading you to the front desk. Once the clerk handed him the room key, the two of you rushed up to the room together.

As soon as the door was opened, you turned Striker around to finally kiss him. He tasted of his drink and cigarettes, his lips rough but skilled as he kissed you back. He tapped on your thigh and you jumped up, wrapping your legs around him as he held you up, squeezing your ass through your jeans as he kicked the door shut behind him. He walked up to the bed, bending over to set you down as his lips never once left yours. You felt his bulge through his own jeans, his hips humping into your own, causing you to moan. He took the opportunity to stick his snake like tongue into your mouth, clawing at you as you pushed his jacket off his shoulders. He stood up to begin stripping, smiling as you watched himself shed his clothes intently.

“Been wantin’ to do this fer a long time, pretty girl.” He purred, now completely shirtless and his hat tossed across the room onto a lamp. He bent over you again, tugging at the hem of your shirt. You lifted your arms for him to take your shirt off and toss it over his shoulder, before his hands went under you to unclasp your bra. He lowly whistled when he saw your bare breasts, a hand squeezing one and playing with it while his mouth made its way to your neck, attaching to it with his teeth, leaving a bite mark before sucking a hickey into it. You moaned and arched your back, your chest pressing further into his hands as they both now groped your soft breasts, his breath heavy as he felt your body and marked you up with his mouth.

“Striker…” You moaned quietly, your own hands clawing at his back, leaving your own marks as well.

“We’re not at the farm, darlin’. We ain’t never gon see any of these people here, so you can scream my name as loud as you need to, sugar~” He groaned as your hips started to grind into his.

“Then hurry up and make me scream~” You moaned, biting your lip as he stood back up, kicking his boots off before taking yours off, tossing them near the door.

He pulled at your jeans, and you lifted your hips off the bed so he could take them off of you. He then took his own jeans off, his bulge much more prominent now through the thin fabric of his boxers. You sat up on the bed and nearly drooled as you stared at his crotch, imagining what he looked like underneath those boxers. You looked up at him with doe eyes as you slid off the bed onto your knees, two fingers hooking under the waistband, looking up for a nod of approval before you slipped his boxers off of him, his hard-on slapping against his abdomen once set free.

“Fuck, Striker…” You drooled over him, licking your lips before kissing the tip of his cock. He groaned at your action, a hand instinctively tangling into your hair, pushing you closer to him. You obediently opened your mouth, letting him shove his cock into your mouth until he hit the back of your throat. You gagged a bit at the contact, but slowly got used to it as your throat began to relax.

“Good girl…” Striker panted, his nails scraping your scalp, making you moan around his length. You slowly started to bob your head up and down his shaft, your tongue licking up and down the underside of his cock. Striker hissed as you sucked him off so good, hips bucking into your face as his grip on your hair tightened. “Fuck, Y/N! You must’ve never given that dipshit head, he never woulda cheated if you did!”

The reminder of your ex only made you more determined to make Striker cum down your throat. You wanted every thought of that loser to be replaced with Striker, every memory of sex to be with Striker instead of him. You began to bob your head faster and suck harder, Striker nearly stumbling over when you did that, holding onto the bed behind you for support as his eyes squeezed shut at your actions. He soon came down your throat, his hand holding you in place so that your nose was pressed up against his abs so not a drop spilled from your mouth. Once he came down from his high he let you go and backed up to give you room to stand, catching his breath as you sat back up on the bed in front of him.

“Shit, baby.” Was all he could say as he panted, more turned on now than ever as you batted your pretty eyes up at him. “Lay on back now, it’s time I returned the favor~”

You smiled sheepishly before lying back on the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows as you watched Striker kneel down in front of you, his own fingers slipping under the waistband of your panties. You lifted your hips for him once again to allow him to slip them off, a sexy grin adorning his face as he grabbed your thighs and propped them on either of his shoulders.

“Fuck me…” He muttered, kissing up your thighs and his eyes never leaving your glistening pussy. “Baby doll, you really are Satan’s favorite, huh?”

You didn’t have the chance to answer him, his tongue flicking over your clit stopping you. You whimpered at the feeling, it had been so long since you had received head from someone, and you knew his long tongue would hit the right spots. You moaned as his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking softly but enough to have your head tossing back and our back arching off the bed. You whined out his name as you gripped at the sheets below you, his tongue flicking across your folds before delving into your hole. One of his hands let go of your thigh so his fingers could rub your clit in slow but firm circles, his tongue working inside of you. You squirmed on the bed but his other hand held you firmly, one of your own hands flying to grab one of his horns, pushing him further into your cunt. He let out a muffled moan of surprise, but didn’t argue as he continued to eat you out like a starved man, the hand on your thigh digging its claws into your soft flesh. You ground your hips into Strikers face, feeling yourself reaching the edge. You moaned out a warning to him, and he moaned into your cunt as his fingers rubbed your clit faster and his tongue went impossibly deeper inside of you. You let out a high pitched squeak at the feeling, loudly moaning out Strikers name as you quickly toppled over the edge, your hips and legs shaking and spasming from how intense your orgasm was. Once you settled down and Striker licked you clean, he finally stood back up and caged you between his arms, grinning down at you as you caught your breath.

“Fuck, cowboy…” You breathed out before leaning up to kiss him, moaning at the taste of yourself on his mouth.

“I got some more surprises fer ya, darlin’. You wanna do this ass up or not?” He asked. You answered him by crawling up further onto the bed, bending over for him. He grinned as he pumped his cock, crawling up to you and pressing his chest to your back, kissing the base of your neck to make you shiver as you hugged a pillow, preparing yourself for that addicting stretch you hadn’t felt in so long. “Ready?”

You nodded desperately, Strikers body pressing against yours left your skin burning for more of him. You moved a hand to reach for his, and he chuckled but intertwined his fingers with yours, before aligning himself and beginning to push into you. You squeezed his hand and moaned as his cock began to stretch you open, biting your lip and squeezing your eyes shut as you buried your face into the pillow below you. Striker kissed you on your bare shoulder as his thumb rubbed the back of your hand comfortingly, he own eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of your pussy fluttering around his cock. Once he was bottomed out, he awaited for you to tell him he could start moving. Your hips started to move against his, and he took it as a sign to keep going. He slowly pulled out halfway before snapping his hips back into you, smiling at the little squeak you let out at the action. He started moving his hips faster and faster, the hand holding yours being nearly crushed as you held onto it. You moaned lewdly as his cock hit that perfect spot inside of you, whining and beginning to shake as you felt yourself approaching an orgasm again already. Striker chuckled as he felt your cunt squeeze him and your breathing becoming erratic as you neared your high.

“Don’ be embarrassed, sweet thing, cum for me~” He whispered into your ear encouragingly, freeing his hand from your grip to pinch and rub at your clit, a choked moan escaping your lips as you immediately came around his cock, Striker groaning at how you squeezed around him so tightly.

“S-Striker!” You nearly screamed as your body shook violently beneath him.

“That’s right, Y/N, scream my name~” He panted as he felt himself nearing his second orgasm of the night. He continued to pound into you, screams escaping you as your sensitive pussy was being overstimulated. He pulled out briefly to flip you over onto your back, desperate to see your face. He shoved his cock back into you, your breasts bouncing at the force he used to fuck you into the mattress. You began to babble incoherently as your eyes crossed and rolled back, Striker smiling smugly at how you unraveled around him.

“I-I’m almost there, Y/N.” He warned you, your legs clamping around him now allowing him to pull out.

“C-Cum in me!” You whimpered, feeling yet another orgasm coming on.

“You sure?”

“Just do it!” You screamed, your claws digging into his back to keep him in place.

His hips shot into yours as he came, groaning and panting as you also came with him, your juices squirting all over his dick as you both clutched onto the other desperately. Once you both came down from your highs, Striker collapsed on top of you, both of you trying to catch your breaths as your grips loosened on the other. After a few minutes, Striker stumbled out of bed and grabbed a towel from the bathroom, wiping both of you down and tossing it onto the floor before getting back into the bed with you. He pulled you close, noticing your thighs still twitching from the intense squirting orgasm you had.

“Nobody’s…ever made me…d-do that…” You panted, tilting your head to face him, but not having the strength to move your body yet.

“Well…glad to be a stand out.” He chuckled as he looked at you with half lidded eyes.

“Striker…” You swallowed harshly. “I…”

“Save it for the mornin, doll.” He interrupted you, pulling you close to him and shutting his eyes. You nodded dumbly, not having the thoughts or energy to argue with him. Plus, this was nice, just being held by him so intimately, singing and letting morning you figure out your relationship with the man. For now, you just curled into his touch and buried your face into his chest.

[leoluvsbilkyjo]

my favorite green day moments

oh god it’s time to go gotta say goodbye, i gotta say goodbye, i gotta say goodbye now, i gotta say goodbye, im gonna go and get on my big wheel, im gonna get on my big wheel, no im gonna get on my bicycle, no im gonna get on my scooter, no my scooter, now i’m gonna need my bicycle, im gonna get a- ima get on my, a my- a my a my tonka truck, imma get on my tonka truck, imma take it, im gonna go down the strip, im gonna go smash up against a window, im gonna smash up against a window, yeah i am! im gonna go smash up against one, cause i gotta pet rock, i gotta pet rock too, i gotta pet rock that’s really cool, i gotta pet rock everyone! its more like, its like a, its like a, its like a, its like a like a worry stone! its a worry stone! you take it, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you rub it, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you worry, you wor- SHIT!

never jack off a cactus, because youll only hurt your hand, and the cactuses feelings!

this is a cover song, this is a cover song that was once done by someone else, a cover song is done by someone else, it's a cover song, it's a cover song, it's a cover song, it's a cover, it's a blanket, it's a blanket, it's a pillow, you can lay on it, you can sleep on it, you can do anything you want to, you can do anything you want to, you can do anything you want, oh yes you can, oh yes you can, yes you can, yes you can, what a day, what a day, what a day, this is the greatest day i've ever fucking known, goddamn, im so fucking happy i think im gonna fuck myself up the ass, while we're at it i might take a shit on every single camera that's in this fucking room, oh yes i am, yes i am, yes i am, sam i am, yes i am, fucking goddammit!

mike dirnts a dirty whore!

space-modulator-guy!

take off my pants? no, no, this isnt blink 182!

WAIT GODDAMNIT!

im not going to become a mud hippie! i dont care what you say!

what are you gonna do with that glove billie? i dont know what im gonna do with that glove tre! i said what are you gonna do with that glove billie? i said i dont know what im gonna do with that glove tre! i hope you dont put it in my butt!

first we had a fire, then ghosts knocked the speaker down, then i got a muffin for breakfast and i couldnt choke it down, down, down, then i woke up and kennys nuts were in my mouth, tbagging a dude that sleeps with his shoes off aint right!

you like that bitch?!

lets go shopping!

theres a tremendous amount of noise for a man so petite! hehehhaaha! i like to keep my girlish figure!

HI AQUAMAN!

id probably be a burglar, id burgle people!

so when your not working what do you like to do? ....fiddle about, fiddle about....

*pours flour over his head*

I FORGOT THE LYRICS!

[tvdismylife]

Hello there! This is the first part of my new series.

Warnings: bad parenting (Imma put it as a warning bc yes) and blackmailing (sort of)

Elijah Mikaelson x f!reader

The boyfriend

This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to be on my merry way to my parent’s, not in front of this spoiled jerk.

One hour ago

“Be here at 10 o’ clock, Y/N. It’s Bandera, not New York City. Me and your father will not tolerate any disrespect. Understood?”

“Yes, mother” I say, while trying to balance a cake, my purse and a plant (yes. A fucking plant) on my arms.

“Good”. Before I can respond, my mother hangs up.

“Well that went well” I say to myself, while eyeing for the last time my figure in the mirror.

Respectful yet flattering outfit? check

Hair done? check

Make up? check

I close my apartment door without dropping anything, thank God, I say to myself, while I go down the stairs.

After some minutes I’m in front of Ashley’s, the best coffee shop in NY.

Coffee? check

I’ll just handle this sunday like any other: I’ll smile, shut up and glance at the clock every minute.

So, I’m just missing- sboom!

Shit. The plant, the cake, the coffee. My dress! Oh my God, my dress!

I glance up at the dude I smashed into and he’s glaring.

"Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” I say, while I gather my things. He’s about to say something, probably an insult, but I anticipate him:” Listen, I really don’t have time for whatever you’re about to say. So, just I don’t know. Disappear? Or something like that” He scoffs.

During our staring contest, my phone rings. My mum. Fuck. I pick up, hesitantly:” You’re late”

“Yeah, I uhm had an accident” I say, glancing up at the handsome (and jerk-alike) guy in front of me, who raises an eyebrow.

“Oh my God! You can’t even handle one simple task Y/N! That’s it! Come back tomorrow, I hope for you that you’ll show up with an apology for making me waste my time!” She yells on the phone.

And the dude hears. Of course he does.

“I- of course, mother. I’ll be back tomorrow” I reassure her, and she hangs up.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to be on my merry way to my parent’s, not in front of this spoiled jerk.

“That was intense” He says

“Mind your own business, Mr. Nice suit” I say, taking a little part of my pent up frustration on him.

“Well, since you decided to get in my way, it is, indeed, my business” I scoff. The audacity.

“Listen here, dude-” “Elijah” “What?” “It’s my name” “Ok, whatever. Like I was saying, Elijah, shut up. I don’t have the emotional strength to get into an argument. So fuck off” I shove my way past him, but he grabs my arm, blocking me.

“You mind?”

“Yes. Actually. Believe me, when I say I’ve got the strings to pull to make your life a living hell financially. So I suggest we find a way to end this that doesn’t involve you paying” My heart skips a beat, but not with the usual butterflies. No, this is fear.

Oh God. I can’t afford it. Shit.

“I-"

[smashorpassgilf]

Dearest Smash Or Pass Gilf. I have been wondering recently. Isn't a Gilf also a Grandma I Want To Fuck? Or is there a specific term for that?

But then again. Should a person be called a grandfather or grandmother if they have no grandkids?

I've been grappling with the concept of milfhood recently, as I have been called one for some reason (turning 30) and to me it doesn't seem applicable since I only have cat children, and milfs get their certain appeal from birthing a kid.

So many questions to ponder...

Ok so. Imma start off with my only experience here is running this blog for 14 months and being into people (usually men) way older than me. Take me as credible or not as you'd like.

But, for my two cents on this matter. I was raised with GILF actually standing for granny/grandma. When I Google the term, it's often been granny with the stipulation of grandfather being less common. It may be due to me being raised by a lot of women and having a strong female presence of lots of areas in my life, but I cannot speak either way. I have no idea why a lot of people our age ('our' since I'll be nearing 30 soon) believe it to only mean grandfather - I'm not here to say either way.

(These were just the first two results - though I did find one that argued GILF is someone only 30 years older than you and. Gotta disagree.)

I did pose the question to our discord server and I got back opinions ranging from the stigmatization of women being able to age (& the crossection of ageism and sexism therein) to the lighter idea that it's due to people being unable to fathom hot older ladies wanting to bone, which I could understand due to the way society is built up currently. It was pointed out a woman could be a spinster if she was unwed by 30 up until semi-recently. The Google trend term search I just did actually showed the term has picked up some relevance in the last 2 decades, but I again cannot speak to that.

Another point was one usually sees older man /younger woman pornography on a lot of the bigger websites, which, that I'm going to chalk down to capitalism & personal website preferences, and not representative of the community, as I find a lot of the reverse on the websites I visit, and can in fact be hard for me personally to find dynamics that are outside of the older woman/younger man dynamic.

However, that really isn't here or there. Half of my points are just personal experience. In essence, in popular culture outside of tumblr, I personay rarely see it mean grandfather.

As for the status of having children or not - I'm currently ruminating on that aspect. There's a post made by a blog I follow recently that boils down to 'calling all women MILF regardless of child having status is inappropriate and boils down women only to being a child bearing object.' I'm really not educated enough in all the ways society has interjected to that conclusion, but I can understand why that issue is presented.

Pregnancy certainly changes a woman's body in many ways, but the ways it does or doesn't change a body vary even in having a child. Two women who take the same measures to stay healthy (or don't take measures) during pregnancy can have extremely different end results with their body and personality, even if we have a specific idea of what will come from it. There are grandma's I've seen who have had multiple kids who look the exact same as a woman who stayed childless.

So! Does one need to have children to be a milf/dilf/gilf?

I'm going to argue no based on a related due to this topic being about sex.

You do not need to be, say, a doctor to be into medical play and pretend to be a doctor. Are you a doctor? No. But for the topic and the conversation scope, you would be a 'Doctor' in essence. Now, this is an opt in form of the word, but I really don't think you need kids to be a milf/etc. I am certainly not a grandparent and yet my friends call me peepaw.

All this to say, imo, I don't believe that there's a hard and fast definition, and no, I don't think you have to have kids to be a milf - if you wanna play that up. If you don't wanna, fuck anyone who pushes that term on you. Either way, you're gunna age into a very hot old person in a few decades, and ill be right there with you - kids and grand kids or not.

[exorcqism]

heyy can u do a dom choso and sub reader with brat taming and spanking (i sent rhe same request but i worded it wrong)

𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

„𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐋����”

: ̗̀➛ 18+ CONTENT!!!

: ̗̀➛ afab!reader, some sexxxxx, brat taming, praising, some degrading, spanking(?), dom!choso, sub!reader. not proofread so i apologize in advance for any mistakes if they’re made.

: ̗̀➛ art creds by;; currently unknown. dividers are not mine, if you own these, you may claim them in comments.

: ̗̀➛ WORD COUNT;; 1.17K

* dark mode recommended

* do not copy this plot. i’m perfectly fine with inspirations but give creds. if this plot his stolen in any way, the post will be taken down and you will be blocked.

𝐃𝐀𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 ✉️🖇️;; yurrr. i feel like ya caught on to the fact that i really like writing for choso…okay but that’s obvious. he just so fine. i also don’t know how good imma do this but i’ll figure sum out. ANYWAY REBLOG TO SUPPORT MEEEE AND IF YOU WANT MORE :D

did you ever learn? you had choso treating you like you’re his daughter because you didn’t know how to behave yourself. he’d be lying if he said that it didn’t piss him off a little.

you were ignoring choso because he wouldn’t buy you the dress that you wanted. you were at that mall, gripping onto his clothes, begging and pleading for this dress but choso just had a stale face and he’d tell you no as calmly as he possibly could. but you could hear the slight annoyance behind his relaxed tone.

it’s been a few days and the silent treatment was driving him insane. not only that. it was pissing him off. the second you came through the door of that apartment, he’d grab you and pin you against the wall and smash his lips onto yours, kissing you with pure passion behind it but the aggression was kicking within him. after that, he moved his mouth up to your ear.

“get your ass to the bed….now.” he commanded before he let go of you. “and you better be ready when i get in there…you got thirty seconds.”

you were confused at first but you didn’t want to piss choso off any more than he seemed to be. you headed into his room and got on the bed, removing your clothes as you did.

the bedroom door opened and there stood choso with that usual bored expression that had a hint of lust and mischief behind them. he’d take his shirt off and climb on top of you, his bare chest making contact with yours. he kissed and sucked on your neck, making marks that were sure to turn purple when he was done with you.

“you piss me off so fucking bad,” he said in your ear, “but i can get you in order. just be a good girl and listen to what i tell you to do.”

choso slapped your thighs before he gripped onto them tightly, forcing your legs apart. his fingers moved slowly from your waist down to your soaked cunt. the male smirked before tracing your entrance. he glanced at you.

“i wanna make you feel good but i don’t know…” he paused, “i don’t think you deserve it. maybe i should make you beg first.”

“what do you-” you started but choso’s hand quickly covered your mouth. he glared at you.

“did i say you could speak? you speak when i say you can.” the violet eyed male boomed. with his other hand, he pressed his digits into your entrance after licking his fingers as if you weren’t wet enough already.

he’d pump his fingers in and out of you as he listened to your muffled moans underneath his hand. he was looking you in your eyes as he fucked you with his fingers. choso moved his hand off of your mouth. just when you believed you could moan out loud without choso getting in your way, he’d smash his lips onto yours again, consuming your moans.

his tongue pushed through your lips and danced around yours. as he kissed you, you could feel his fingers curling up inside you, finding your sweet spot. you immediately crumbled underneath him. you tried to grab onto his hand and push him away but he slapped your hand away and continued to finger you, being more aggressive now that you tried to stop him.

you were pissing him off even more but he was enjoying hearing you pleas for him to stop or slow down. he would pin your wrist down to the bed over your head and just when you were about to have your release, he removed his fingers from you.

“don’t think i’m done because i took my fingers out,” choso looked at you, sticking his fingers in your mouth to make you taste your own fluids. he wouldn’t move his hand until you licked him clean. as he was doing this, you genuinely thought he was torturing you…but you liked it and you weren’t going to stop him from what he was doing to you.

again, choso pushed your legs apart a little more, feeling satisfied after he prepped you. he wanted to hear you drown in pleasure now. he would pull down his boxers, revealing his hardened member. he didn’t waste any time. choso forced his length into you. you yelped as you felt everything hit you all at once.

choso’s groaned as he sank down into you, biting his lip. “take all of me. you were doing so good. don’t get scared now.”

his strokes were slow at first, trying to ease you into it and trying to get you used to being stretched out by him. your moans and you folding underneath him made him wanna go faster, though. so he did. choso was slamming into you, his pelvis making direct contact with yours.

“now, i told you about acting up but you don’t listen to me,” choso rasped, his eyes narrowing down at you. “i’m starting to think you like being punished all the time. you’re a dirty little girl, you know that? you need to be taught some respect.”

his words made your heart drop. his voice was just so soothing and the fact that he was degrading you…it excited you a bit more. he was probably right about you enjoying this a bit more than you should.

your moans progressively got louder. you were starting to think if his neighbors could hear any of this. slowly, your eyes began wandering around the room. choso didn’t like that, though. he put his free hand under your chin and forced you to look at him. you could feel him squeezing your cheeks a bit but not enough for it to hurt.

“don’t look over there, look at me. i want you to look me in my eyes when i’m fucking you.”

of course, you wanted to listen to him before he made your entire body sore but it was harder than you thought. your eyes began to get lazy and they rolled back into your head. tears formed into your eyes. you never thought someone as distant and quiet as him could be so aggressive in his own way.

“choso,” you moan softly, putting your arms around him and kissing him. he moaned in your mouth as his hips continued to move back and forth with each stroke. he loved the feeling of being milked by you. he wished he could make this last forever…but he was here to teach you a lesson. he wiped the tears from your eyes.

“don’t cry. this is punishment—fuck…” choso groaned as he reached his climax at the same time as you did. the two of you were panting, trying to catch your breaths. he’d pull out of you and lie down beside you, putting kisses on your neck and shoulder then rested his head onto the pillow beside you.

“i hope you learned your lesson. don’t make me repeat myself.” choso rubbed his tired eyes. “sleep well, princess.”

𝐄𝐍𝐃.

⋆｡࿇ ·࣭࣪̇˖ 𖦹°༅༚

[comradekarin]

https://youtube.com/shorts/JBeJPnP16R8?si=LEg8g3aVYBpW54Gf

Everyone who says " Beyonce's album wasn't even country! " needs to watch this rn and you have been preaching the gospel since she finally got what the industry of white bigots have denied her since the album released.

Beyonce is country. In fact, if you like country, you have black people to thank for it existing ( I could rant forever about this but basics is a lot of the instruments that make country music country music were either invented by enslaved black people or were most notably used by enslaved black people, which I find it funny in a sad way that white people are still taking our shit and pretending it was all them )

Also for the Bille fans, go harass all the white people who were competing and who beat Bille now or forever be labeled racist bc that's what you are. ( not you op you're doing God's work )

Also we need to start calling people racist more often bc I have never in my life seen so much of it after one night I swear ( that's a lie but I'm sure you can guess the other nights )

CLOCK IT ANON!!! country is a historically black genre that’s been co-opted by white artists. this album is a love letter to BLACK southern culture, music and way of life in the same sense that renaissance was a love letter to the BLACK queer and trans community, to house music and ballroom culture, to her uncle johnny who inspired her as a child. in the same exact sense that lemonade was her personal experience as being a BLACK woman, of her husband’s infidelity, her journey from betrayal to heartbreak to forgiveness, of all the emotional baggage black women are expected to hold (just for people to say she wasn’t being vulnerable at all or shaming her for staying with jay). beyonce should have won album of the year from self titled all the way to cowboy carter, and it’s not even close. time and time again white people disrespect black artistry and people but be the first ones using AAVE to call you a fucking slur lmao.

as for billie, i already said the album was cute, but it did NOT deserve AOTY. the fact that people think they can disrespect beyonce and CC despite admitting to not even listening to it tells me everything I need to know. cc was filled with rich cultural references, black history, discussions of the black experience and her experience with being disrespected and excluded by the cmas. the first SONG literally has giselle saying “they used to say I spoke too country and then the rejection came and said I wasn’t country enough. said I wouldn’t saddle up. if this ain’t country, tell me what is?”!!!! ???? ameriican requiem alone smashed all of her competition out of the water. competition that have been repackaging the same sounds, same concepts and production from before. that’s also why they’re trying to gag the hive by bringing up how many writers cc has as if that very organic collaboration isn’t why her albums are always so fresh and innovative and good.

billie dressing like a flava flav cosplayer while her fans calling me slurs over a fuckass grammy. she can feel sad and shit, but I remember when beyonce teared up at the 2017 grammy’s after adele’s acceptance speech and they called her bitter, jealous and narcissistic. they still do! billie liking tiktoks of her crying (with racist ass comments in those videos) pissed me off too. grow tf up. nine grammies, two oscars before 23- you will be just fine baby girl. and this is all imma say about that girl. I won’t get nasty about her, but this white outrage over their white darlings not getting their way is just as I expected.

and you’re so right. “DEI awards”, “this is what it feels like to lose to a black woman” “beyonce doesn’t have a fraction of billie’s talent” id rather them call me and her a slur. say it with your chest lol.

[thehomophobe]

You and the FNAF SB cast as told by incorrect quotes: Nerdy Prudes Must Die Edition

Chica: We never leave anyone behind.

(Y/N): Well I got left behind this morning. Bus driver's a fucking asshole.

Moon: I want to be invisible.

Roxy: *looks at Moon's fit* Then why do you come to public school dress in pajama pants and fucking glasses?

Roxy: Oh my god! You're micro-penis!

Sun: It's not actually a micro penis!

Sun: My titties are tenderized...

Monty: It's 3rd period shit lips. I've gotta get to "remedial algebra".

Monty: Oh, well there's a difference between "intent" and "impact".

Monty: I learned that at the anti-bullying assembly last month.

Monty: *after bullying Sun* Should I let him off with a warning?

Lackey: Haha Yeah! 😃*Monty glares at the Lackey*

(Y/N): Can I carry your books for you?

Sun: "Carry my books..."? I don't think either of us are ready for that, I mean we're only 18!

Claire: This is politics, (Y/N), learn to multi-task.

*Vanessa readies a hammer to smash

Roxy's phone."Roxy: NO! *puts her hand over her phone.

*Vanessa: *in complete confusion* Did you just throw your hand BETWEEN the hammer and the phone?

Sun: Y'know, like--Newton's law of motion, like physics.

Moon: This project's on thermodynamics. What the fuck are you talking about?

Chica: *looks to Sun* What was it like when she touched your arm...?

Chica: DID YOU CUM?!?!

Chica: FREDDY'S TALKING TO BONNIE!!!

(Y/N): NANI?!?!?!?!

*Sun on the phone with (Y/N)*

Chica: What is she saying? What the FUCK IS SHE SAYING?!

Sun: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

(Y/N): Excuse me? 🤨

Sun: You're telling me I've gotta be funny AGAIN? I didn't on purpose the first time!

Freddy: Me and Bonnie in carnal embrace? That's ridiculous.

Bonnie: Think you're better than me 'cuz you come from money?

Sun: Oh, no I-I think the bowtie gave you the wrong idea---I'm not rich.

Bonnie: E U G H. So you're a poor piece of shit then?

Bonnie: I did not consent to this rende-voos.

Freddy: Mom, will you pass the butt stuff?

Mother: 😃

Father: 😀Freddy: *completely flustered* The but-TER. BUT-TER. Will you pass the but-ter, heheh...I just want some head and butter---BREAD!

Mother: 😃

Father: 😀

Freddy: Bread and butt sex to go with this big shaft of meat I'm gonna choke down!

Sun: I've got butterflies in my tummy, and they're flying real low today...

*Claire in Dean Vanessa's office.

*Vanessa: Whoa whoa whoa whose plan was it Claire?

Claire: *having a mental breakdown* It's God plan!

Claire: And he's leaving me out to dry!

Claire: DO SOMETHING YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!

Moon: *points a knife* DON'T! FOLLOW MEH! *runs into the darkness*

Sun: Dagnammit. I need a DOGGONE drink. Give me a cup of hot water and make it strong.

(Y/N): Are we in trouble? Do we need to get hold of Lorelei?

Claire: Good luck getting a hold of her. Does your phone plan cover calls to hell?

(Y/N): Hell?

Claire: She's pansexual and dead, where else would she be?

Sun: *sobbing* I've done so many terrible things, like touching myself and lying to the police.

Lorelei: The souls of the pervs make me strong. >:)

Benison: Eyes on me.

😊Benison: (Y/N) Up here! 😠

Sun: *sighs sitting on a bench alone* I turned 40 today.

Roxy: They ended up studying out of sheer boredom

.Bonnie: Ew.

Chica: You all just watch each other pee? Oh it's better than I ever imagined ~.

Sun: Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda?

Chica: You're the bestest friend I've ever had.

Moon: Oh that's sad.

Monty: I love...to FUCK.

*Sun having a crisis*

Chica: It's all right Sun---

Roxy: Don't comfort him he's fucking weird.

Vanessa: On the ground bitch imma cop

Monty: Man something reeks.

Moon/(Y/N)/Lorelei: Sorry, that's me.

Sun: *on the phone* You don't say?

Sun: You don't say?

Freddy: What they find Sun?

Sun: They didn't say.

(Y/N): I knew him. I just hated his guts.

Claire: Not enough to kill though.

(Y/N): We both know you can't ignore me because you're crazy about me.

Sun: *in shock* WHAT?!

[blackhazefanblog]

BH remake ch 15-22

I've missed too many chapters while I was away so imma roll everything into one post to make things easier for everyone

More of the comedy is back yaassssss 🎉

Looks like we did get the chase scene and the part where Rood knocks Chevel off the balcony like everyone wanted!! 🎊

Finally saw Professor Khaaannnn

I would like to note that his outfit seems different from before? He used wear a longer top, but now it seems he sometimes (?) wears a normal shirt. I liked how the old design better presented how he wasn't really built or ready for combat, but the new design makes his gender more clear so that's good (I kid not I was in doubt for quite some time before until I finally checked on the character info post-).

Tess in a ponytail has me deceased with her beauty

If I was in any of her classes I would not be able to concentrate 100% (and given what she teaches I'd probably be dead lol).

I'm personally overjoyed that we FINALLY got the scene of Ruby trio demons HQ... it was so late that I was worried it was removed altogether! But I'm glad we got it, with events going exactly like the old version with Elze trying to act cute for Rubymonter (but the part beforehand where he says "I don't know who'd take her" is absent? Along with Shic not personally smashing Tess into a wall and pulling her up by the hair the new version seems a bit nicer to the girls somehow lol).

I'm so happy we finally got to see Elzeble's design for the remake; he looks mostly the same which is good bc his design was definitely one of the better ones that didn't need much rework.

There seems to be a new line where Elze comments Ruby seems to like the human world (?). I'm not crying thinking of her father I'm not crying thinking of her father I'm not- I feel like in the old version Elze was implied to find humans and their world the most fun so this is certainly new. In the old version in her first appearance Ruby goes out of her way to diss humans, finding books more interesting. But now it seems more like her interest in books is an extension of her interest in human things. (It was already missing but I'd like to mention the lines implying Ruby had discovered books for the first time during their initial appearance also means the subsequent strong foreshadowing that she later introduced them to Gamode for him to like them and become a bookworm too is gone nooo ok so I'm just like them finding books more interesting than people and would prefer to stay indoors reading them is the sole reason I am upset, there is absolutely no plot reason for this rant at all.)

Looking at it now, I see why the author decided to delay the scene with the demons. We saw a lot of Heil clearly being very suspicious if not outright a villain by now, so when we are shown that the demons seem to have an associate in the school we are inclined to think it is him. Even more so, when this demons scene is immediately followed by yet another scene of Heil being a sussy baka.

A major change I'm seeing from the old storyline is Rood's deeper interest in uncovering what went down in the past between Lidusis and Chevel. In the first version Rood was dedicated solely to accomplishing his "mission" which involved him fixing Lidusis' bad life in the present and giving him a brighter future. Whatever happened in Lidusis' past was never a concern for him as Lidusis never mentioned it himself, and so long as the problem was solved Rood presumably didn't see it his place to pry. (Though as a particularly curious person myself, Rood's absolute disinterest in whatever major stuff that turned such childhood friends into worst enemies when he was personally hired to solve that very mess always baffled me lol.) It did eventually grow on me that it was different from other shounens where the main character always seems to be in everyone else's business and needs to know every little detail about all his friends... which wasn't as realistic compared to BH where he helps his friend in the present even if he never knew everything.

But in the remake Rood seems to take it upon himself to find out exactly what happened in Lidusis' past. I think this is to build future set up for him to be more greatly impacted upon eventually finding out what really went down back then and who is truly responsible for causing it all to happen. In which case I approve, but this has arguably been the most significant story change affecting the overall narrative so far. Will be interesting to see where it goes.

Gotta love how unsubtle Master is in this version with wanting Rood to make some friends. "Why don't you make some FRIENDS or get some FRIENDS or maybe find some FRIENDS-" He really do be trying to get Rood everything he didn't have *cries*

I would also like to mention that as of chapter 16, the remake is now one full chapter behind the old version (so the events of new version's chapter 16 correspond to old version's chapter 15)... and counting, as of chapter 22 the remake is 1.5 chapters behind the events of the first version.

[neigetriestheirbest]

kiseki ep 12

SO

so ,,,, so - ahem -

If I were to talk about this episode we'd be here all year so imma just mention a few things that made me want to smash my head into a brick wall and then weep salty soup flavourings into my empty palms

suffice it to say that I thought this episode was 🙌👏👏💪👄😳🤩👌👌👌

so diving straight into the 'chen yi gets ai di a gift to show how well he knows him and wants him back'.

sigh

It's a handgun. a hand gun. and a short barrelled shotgun. with a loveheart on it.

and, like, for real, ai di's feckin sheer elation and joy at getting this --- I STRUGGLE TO FUNCTION

and chen yi's note of simply, "come back" - a plea, nonetheless. fuck.

then we have ai di's chilli spice punishment = lol. chen yi be like PSYCH I'm actually into that. and the easy way he just, boop, sweeps ai di up into his arms, like he's so lightweight and small. I love it. I think ai di loves it, too. chen yi certainly does, the amount of times he's yeeted ai di to a secondary location (street smarts!)

now, the reconciliation, and the love scene, I think, were done perfectly.

"as long as we are alive, I'll share our birthday with you, and you only."

the way ai di looks at chen yi after chen yi tells him that he loves him -- HMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNGG -

the way that their first two kisses are gentle, sweet, soft and chaste. It's comforting, assuring, testing and slow. It sort of speaks to their relationship, of how they have known each other so long, of how their feelings are so deep, so complicated and yet so true and simple - it speaks long-term. It points to a way of thinking that they have time, now. time for each other, and to take it slow, to enjoy it. because they're finally on the same page.

also the staring - the lingering watchful eyes. both of them simply breathing and taking the other in, documenting that this is real; savouring its realness - esp ai di who seems torn between the euphoria of surrendering to the pleasure of it and the struggle to believe that it's really happening. even when they're kissing, ai di's eyes are often open, and watching.

once they're both shirtless - and ai di goes to kiss chen yi, dive back in, but chen yi stops him, takes a moment to pull back and just look at ai di. a moment just to hold him, regard him and treasure him, like he wants to forever remember this moment - because it's been FOUR YEARS MY DUDES and then he's touching along his back, his shoulders; kissing his chest, his arms; making sure ai di feels loved, and relishing the feel of his body

and when chen yi flips them over, so ai di is trapped beneath him, his knees splayed as wide af to accommodate chen yi between them (heh) and ai di is curling his toes into the bedsheets - chen yi kissing down his chest, he mouths at the cupid's bow base of his rib cage and it's 👌👌👌

and then they both have their hands in one another's hair, cradling their skulls, when ai di reaches up to kiss ah yi - and NAT'S FECKIN HANDS. they're the freaking size of louis' HEAD.

and louis with his stupid freaking insane capacity of facial expression with so little direction or introspection. these boys.. aiiii......

I loved it. I could talk about it forever. I think I'm just gonna watch it again.

If these guys don't get another series of their own, I swear to -

imma fuck shit up

[teecupangel]

Just saw some Medusa art and thpught "what if Desmond got sent back, but as a stone turning snake man?" Eagle vision makes his ancestors immune and it allows Desmond to sense where he's going, even when blindfolded, cause accidently turning his sncestor to stone would break his heart. Oh! Maybe he does turn them to stone and in his grief kisses the statue and they revive? "Huh, guess Sleeping Beauty got something right."

If we go with Altaïr, Desmond is locked inside the ark until Kadar opens it. This of course fresks Kadar out, cause this is NOT what Al Mualim said they'd have to retrive. Cue Desmond seeing Altaïr getting attacked and goes: "So you have chosen death". After much murdering and screaming and statues getting smashed Desmond curls around Altaïr like he's a giant teddy bear and Altaïr just stands there, very much confused.

With Ezio, it's the obvious "Desmond is in the vault". XD I can't help it, i just love EziDes too much! ^^ Though we could add in Immortal!Desmond in Altaïr's Library. He could sleep curled around Altaïr in the chair and when Ezio wakes him up, he is suprised and sad that he couldn't join Altaïr in the afterlife(not that he believes in it, but being alive without Altaïr hurts). With this Desmond doesn't end up together with Ezio as for him it feels like it's only been minutes since Altaïr died and once he is "ready" to move on, Ezio is already married to Sofia. He does become a kickass nanny and protector of Ezio's children though.

That's about it, just an interesting idea that popped into my head. ^^

… We do have this fic idea that’s more on the Modern Day gen side so Imma focus on the stuck on the past pairing side for this one :)

In this one, Malik would be the one to say that Desmond must be the treasure they’re meant to take back to Al Mualim and Desmond’s like “nononono, bad idea. He’s a Templar.”

Malik wouldn’t believe him, obviously, but Kadar would be more on the fence. Altaïr would actually be the one to wonder if Desmond is telling the truth. Desmond is just happy that Altaïr is trying to believe him. Altaïr, on the other hand, is at that point in his life that he has lost his trust to the Creed and, by association, to Al Mualim.

Oooohh, what if… Altaïr covers Desmond’s eyes with his red sash to make sure he doesn’t accidentally petrify anyone and Desmond is just so touched while Malik and Kadar are sorta worried because Altaïr is treating Desmond gentler than anyone they have ever seen Altaïr with. And the four of them go rogue to find evidence that Al Mualim had betrayed the Brotherhood.

During that time… Altaïr and Desmond’s relationship ‘blossoms’.

We can make our cake and eat it with Ezio! Let’s have Desmond actually wake up in the vault when Ezio is born and he stays in the vault for as long as he can, until he finally finds it in himself to touch the last memory seal. There, he watches as Altaïr’s last memories was after Desmond had fallen asleep before him and Altaïr tells him his final goodbyes, telling him that he knew that Desmond was going to live longer than he will and that he treasured all the days he had with Desmond until the very end. And then, by the end of it, Altaïr says something like “I will not ask you to forget me. I am too selfish for such a sacrifice. All I ask is that you live, Desmond, and you find happiness. Whether that is in the arms of another, I will understand. Because I know, even if you find someone else to love, you will never forget me and you will always love me, the same way I will always love you even as my body turns to dust. So… grieve for me for as long as you need, ya omri, and, when you are ready, find your happiness once more. Remember our time not with tears but with a smile… and create more happy memories.”

So his relationship with Ezio would be more of a slowburn with Ezio trying to learn how to be an Assassin and Desmond trying to support him while still being in that rickety bridge of grieving for his first love and finding the courage to accept his growing feelings for Ezio.

(Or, you know, we go for the “Altaïr gets reincarnated as Ezio” route which we can more generalized as Desmond’s love will keep reincarnating, appearing first as Altaïr, then as Ezio, then Ratonhnhaké:ton (or maybe Edward first?), etc)

(Although, Desmond being a kickass nanny would be awesome and he’d even add Shao Jun to his list of ‘children’ even though Shao Jun is old enough to not need any nanny).

[romanstheory]

I'm The One a Jey Uso fic pt 4/?

Gif cred

Warnings: strip tease, language, m/f fighting

Word Count: 800

Last Part

18 +

"I'm gonna smash you" Jimmy says with his chest puffed out, mocking Roman as the three of us grab our bags. Jey wanted to be close to me, walking a little closer, sitting next to me, looking directly into my eyes when we talk. He makes me squirm... Real bad. Life on the road is tough, it always has been but having Jey with me made it a little bit better. I had a sense or normalcy again with him and Jimmy there. Jimmy was like that annoying brother you love to hate but Jey...... My god Jey was something more.

He would protect me from anything and anyone even though he knew damn well I could handle my own. He was kind and sweet, never letting me open my own door or pull out my own chair even. He laid pipe like I've never known before, whew, his hands on my body just made me melt like butter. I'm addicted to him, everything about him. His eyes, those big beautiful brown eyes, those tattoos that tell a story, his laugh, his voice, it's all so intoxicating.

Summerslam is finally here and the boys and I get our own dressing room. The night seems to drag on forever, I'm finally getting in that ring with Solo. Nobody thinks I can do it, in fact they all think I'm crazy. News articles are running ramped with stories about their speculations of my relationship with Jey. We've obviously been together a lot more so rumors are swirling. "Imma let you change and I'll just be back in five" Jimmy says side eyeing Jey and leaving the room. "Care if I stay?" Jey says smirking at me "I wouldn't mind a peak before we go beat some ass"

I giggle before slowly sliding my bottoms of right in front of a still seated Jey Uso, exposing my black thong. I turn around twerking my ass for him. His hands softly gripped it. I turn around and straddle Jey, slowly taking my shirt off in front of him. A soft gasp escapes his lips, as if he's never seen my body before. His hands wander up to my breasts, massaging them slowly. He's entranced by my body once again. I plant a long soft kiss on his lips "You can have the rest after we get the w tonight" I giggle before I get up and begin getting my gear on.

"Oh so you just gone tease me?" Jey says standing behind me kissing on my neck, holding my hips. "More like motivating" I tease again before finishing getting ready. I fluff my hair up as Jimmy cracks the door "Ain't no miscellaneous body parts exposed is there?" He says through the crack. "All body parts are covered uce" Jey laughs. "Alight baby we got this?" Jey says grabbing my hands...... My heart could have exploded in that moment... Baby??? Are we a thing? I really wanted to be... He's never called me that before. "You the one!" Jey hyping me up "Say it! You the one!".

A grin creeps across my face "I'm the one!" I scream "I'm the motherfucking one!". "Yeaaaahhhhh!!!!!! Let's get it!!!!!" Jey screams as the three of us rush out of the door. There's a moment of silence as the crowd groans in anticipation. Jey kisses my forehead just before the music begins playing and all three of us run out. I'm having a good time but my eyes are locked on Solo. Roman forces Solo to start the match. Jey looks at Solo and then at me and reluctantly lets me start as well. ding ding ding the bell rings and Solo and I stare each other down once again in the middle of the ring. I throw the first punch sending us both into a frenzy. The match was long and hard for all four of us, finally Jey delivers a superkick to Roman ouside of the ring.

I put Solo into a texas cloverleaf submission quickly and effectively. He fought, but faded and the ref called the match. We won! Jimmy and Jey rush into the ring, picking me up onto their shoulders. We did it! They let me down and Jey grabs me by my waist, picking me up and planting a big kiss on my lips. My expression quickly went from shock to enjoyment. My heart was racing, it felt like I had no breath left in my body. Jimmy smiled and clapped as the crowd went WILD. Is this real life? Why am I so giddy? So many questions run through my mind...... I have so much to ask him

[deezbignutz]

Imma talk abt yanderes in Redacted real quick (it might not be real quick, idk yet)

Short version, I actually really like them, but I've always liked yanderes even outside of Redacted so mmyeah. I don't like all of them, but I like them 😎👍

Long version 👇

I think I like yanderes bc I want to feel needed/wanted and the thought of someone being so obsessed with me to the point of wasting their days just to get a glimpse of me is kinda reassuring that I'm not just a waste of space (it's unheathly, I know, but that's not the point I'm trying to get at). That is to say that that statement "I like yanderes" only applies to the ones don't outright harm me, don't have bad intentions, or don't have a good concept of common sense. Now I'll be listing all the yandere (all characters explicitly said to be yanderes, so not Kody) characters and my thoughts on them as a yandere. :)))

Ivan

I don't like him much, but that's to say I haven't finished his yandere playlist yet soooo yeah... The main reason I feel this way is mainly that he is very willing to beat the shit out of me if it means he can keep me in his house, which is a big red flag (yes I know all these yanderes r red flags, but beating the person you're obsessed with up? that a WHOLE other level of fucked up red flag). The character himself and all his voice acting and depth is very cool and interesting, he just isn't my type in terms of yanderes.

Regulus

No, no, no. Absolutely not, no thank you please. I also haven't finished his playlist and I don't think I will. He is like Ivan just a tad a lot a bit too much unhinged when he does what he does. Don't get me wrong, the character on its own is a very unique concept, I just can't handle him in action. He goes into the category "doesn't have a good concept of common sense" because all the fucked up shit stuff he does to his victim (idk what his listener's name is :\). So yeah, not my type thank you very much.

Blake

Yes, immaculate, I'll take this to go please. He is very sweet and is willing to destroy the entire universe and another to save me and I think thats very cute of him to do for me. No, what he did isn't very cool for the redacted universe, but he he went to death and back for me, and that makes me feel very special thx for that pooks. The first audio of his that I listened to was his confession one and by golly I was hooked already. He knows he's problematic and he knows his limits, and knows it's a lot for someone to handle and doesn't want me to have to have him around in a romantic way bc he knows he won't be able to give me space and that's just so very hot. AND he's a friends to lovers, which is one of my favourite tropes, so of course I like him. 10/10, would give him many kith kith on the lips.

Caller

Hehehhhehehhehehe, hi babes 🥰. 10000000000000/10, voice is like an angle, actions are non-existent, but he makes up for it by ordering me around and that is so very hot. And if I dare say, he has at least some common sense, that of which being him holding himself back from something and saying "...but not yet" in his cute little emo voice. He's a patient guy and that is very admirable, but he also knows how to be assertive which is also admirable and hot. Yes he’s scary, but he’s scary in a “oh shit he could do something really bad, but like, he’s kinda hot” way. He’s got no face, no name, yet I’d still let him boss me around and tell want to do. Also he gives me major Ghostface vibes and I’m LIVNG for that shit. Love this guy, he’s a sigma, would let him break through my walls and take me away to his torture dungeon, absolute smash, can’t get enough of him, give him kith kith on the lips and more, favourite yandere by far.

[enniewritesathing]

summary from last update

aka, what had happened was --

(note -- I'm gonna call The Werewolf by his actual name Vin(cent) because that's a lot of letters even though he wasn't formally named at this point.)

John is finally declared dead after 2 hours from his heart stopping.

obviously, everyone's disappointed. Daniel's like "bruh, I told you this was gonna happen but NOOOO, you didn't listen to me"

subsequently, everyone gets deeply annoyed by Daniel except Jordan (because they're being nice)... but it's also 3 in the morning. Charles agrees to break and now he's gotta figure out what to tell Noelle that her perfectly fine son is now dead as a doornail.

but wait!

Jordan asks The Worst Question You Can Ask In A Horror Story after they notice something's off about John. In fact, they do the second worst thing you can do in a horror story.

you know how in resident evil 2 (remake? this may have been in the OG) and you walk past a zombie that you think it's dead?

haha surprise bitch, it's ya boy Vin/The Werewolf. turns out, he was mostly dead.

Vin stares up at them with those BIG dead fish lookin' eyes. Creepiest shit he's ever done.

because Jordan is the closest, they are the first to get got as they get their windpipe crushed AND their throat slashed. honestly, they got the least worst death by a country mile.

Bernard is next, getting taken out by Vin literally jumping off the surgery table like off of a top rope of an WWE match. Bernard has the 'well maybe that was out of pocket' case of death -- Vin smashes his head in. Leaves a big ass crack on the floor.

talk shit, get your jaw literally cracked off

Then --

Vin is like 'okay I'm warmed up, now it's just you two fuckers' (aka Daniel and Charles)

We find out that Daniel is, for intents and purposes, a pussy because of his general behavior. He tries to throw Charles under the bus but Charles does it right back without blinking. Vin claws the shit out of him and blinds him in his right eye but that doesn't seem to phase him as he tries to rise up to Vin with a syringe full of stuff that could take Vin out or at least, stun him.

if you remember, this is a call back and Vin got punched in the gut with one and it knocked him out. Keep this in mind.

Vin has had enough and not only does he choke out Daniel (insert Dr. Doofenshmirtz meme) he yeets him into the wall with the one way mirrors.

Thomas and Mark are freaking out on the other side of them. Vin can hear them both and tells them 'hey. I don't have beef with yall, but don't come in here or else you're gonna die'.

Daniel wants Vin to just kill him already and Vin is :)...

as he shoves his arm deep into Daniel's chest. this doesn't kill him immediately.

I'll say it -- if you think 'hey, this looks like some metaphorical--' yes, you are correct. Like come on, Vin's in there in his guts, pinned against the wall talking into his ear and shit, establishing dominance, calling him a pussy (again? idk Vin does this a lot in this update)

Thomas got the gun and he's like 'Imma go save Charles; call the guards' and Mark is begging him not to go as staying right the fuck over there means that they won't get killed.

Vin continues to roast Daniel and really, Daniel's got nothing to say other than 'fuck you!' as a 'nuh-uh' deal... and Vin kills him by tearing his heart out.

Meanwhile! Charles was observing the whole thing and now he's realizing things as Vin is taking a little break to talk to him...

... with Daniel's still beating heart in his hand. He says he's a little hungry with all that's he's been doing and since he's not one to waste his food... (ngl, I'm proud of this bc I used an effect to Great effect.)

aaaaaand he eats the heart. He was a messy bitch about it too because blood is all over his face, teeth, got some on his pants...

Charles realizes that he has fucked around and now he's gonna find out.

But wait! The lab door opens! It's Thomas with the gun!

...and he's scared shitless. Vin gets pissed off at him because he specifically told him and Mark to stay on the other side; now he's in there and Vin's gonna kill him on the account of him being stupid. you can't say Vin wasn't being fair here.

Charles tries to get Thomas to shoot Vin but he's too scared and fights him to get the gun. Gun is fired as they struggle. Doesn't take much but Charles manages to get the gun and domes Thomas in the head.

Well, Vin did say he was gonna die... but not by him.

Charles gets into villain mode saying the (silver) bullets may disrupt what's left of Vin's HF (healing factor) and may actually kill him... but it doesn't because. there's no bullets left. WHOOPS. Vin mocks him and Charles tries to run away (to where??) but in the struggle, he got shot on the side so he hobbles then crawls away

Vin slowly follows Charles and corners him... and notices something about him that's a little weird. Charles got the balls to be asking for mercy.

aaaand that's the summary.

tl;dr -- John declared dead, haha just kidding, Vin/The Werewolf turbo kills everybody in the lab except Charles.

[trash----panda]

So

I dreamed again for the first time in awhile, and it was like a space rangers thing, and the main character was a human (imma call her Pip cause it's easier)

Imma say injury, near death, and some scary stuff ahead, just as a trigger warning

Pip was responding to a destress signal from a crashed ship. Pip encountered a native alien who was pretty friendly and started insisting they should be friends. He is rather pushy about friends and his facial language being different makes Pip uncomfortable. So she tried to ask what friend means and he claimed "i get dibs to eat you if you die" she's just kinda more disturbed and says no, trying to leave him behind. Cause she said no he kinda slinks around but keeps out of sight now. She finds the distressed ship on a beach, it's super quiet and empty which isnt a good sign cause there's not even native birds out there, like feels like the sea is even being quiet. She goes into the ship and finds ample blood, the only survivor being a shivering child in the dark. They try to coax him out but he just screams and resists, saying something about a monster. Pip turned around to check only seeing some claws breifly before they tore into her cheek, whatever it was tackled by the dude that was following her earlier (I'll call him.... Harper i can redesign Harper). Harper is holding it's arm down with his teeth but what she can make out he's telling her to run, so she grabs the kid and sprints for it, as soon as they get out there's a crash and snarl. The thing ran after them but this time she had time to activate a shield, it was focusing it's attacks on her so she at least got the child out of the situation, trying to fight back without injuring it further. It looked like Harper but smaller, they probably stumbled on a nest so she didnt want to kill it. She didnt get a chance to think of solutions as it smashed the shield, grabbing her leg in it's teeth using it's other arm to pin her chest, trying to rip it off. Harper stumbled out, getting it in a head lock, asking her to spike it (ig stab in the head) but she kept saying it's a baby she cant kill it, and he told her she should cause babies are born with more muscle mass they burn off later from lack of food to sustain it so they cant kill it, but she insisted spike it without the spike. Harper still insisted on being friends so he did as he was told and knocked it out, needing to carry her back to her ship cause her leg was mangled. He insisted on coming with so she agreed and he got elected her temporary partner. They ended up in another rescue in a collapsing mine shaft but ended up getting trapped in seperate pockets. Harper eventually found Pip but Pip was impaled through the lower abdomen, he broke down crying, i vaugely remember what he said

"do you know why i wanted to be your friend?"

Pip mumbled "cause i was the only human there?"

"no, there was the child, but he would've died sooner, you could live, i thought maybe you would be around long enough for me to know what a friend is in other's culture, so i could not be alone anymore... i thought it was a new purpose when your friends died but i dont want you to die!"

Pip kinda laughed at him, urging him closer, giving him a hug "well the indomitable human spirit wont let me"

He had no idea what that meant and kept trying to stop her from talking so she'd last longer. They some how lasted 3 days until they were found, the medics dumbfounded someone was alive with rock in their body until they found out it was a human. Harper was too panicked to help them keep her awake while they sealed the wound so they removed him. He was basically in shock and dehydrated but otherwise ok. They ended up walking him to see Pip when she was in recovery. When he asked if she was ok the reply he got was

"we get osmosians, we get glekarites, and we get heckates, but they all have a higher mortality rate then humans, the humans keep calling it the indomitable human spirit and just NOT dying, it's the weirdest thing, so if that human dies i'll give you 500 units"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then i woke up, but im assuming Pip was ok