#in all honesty tho it’s fine and my friends are funny

[welcometotheravenclawcommonroom]

Just ONCE I would like to be able to refer to my dad as אבא to my goy friends (I spell it in English as abba) without getting mamma Mia jokes.

[alittlebit0fmayhem]

𝙻𝚊 𝚅𝚒𝚎 𝚎𝚗 𝚁𝚘𝚜𝚎

I siriusly don't know why I've chosen now to fall back into my marauders phase, mais c'est la vie...

(see what I did there?)

I've taken French for literally five years, (I'm nowhere near fluent tho) so I have no idea why it's taken me so long to incorporate it into my writing.

In all honesty, I'm doing great mentally, but I've been pining for some wolfstar! x reader angst, and I haven't really found any that meet my fancy yet soooooo.

Fine I'll do it myself.

Summary: You were a hopeless romantic who had always tended to see things through rose colored glasses, falling in love with the idea of falling in love. Each new infatuation came to you like a fascination ready to be explored, there was nothing you loved more than the head-games of an all consuming crush. That was until, the latest object of attraction became two boys so incredibly and viscerally out of your reach.

Warnings: Angst! (like a lot), Unrequited love, fluff for a mere second, tbh I feel like it is funny at moments???

Once again, if you see any formatting/grammatical errors, please let me know!

Enjoy <3

———–

It had all been fun and games, it never really mattered, until it did.

It was no secret, to your family, your friends, and least of all you. You loved falling in love.

Bi-monthly, and sometimes depending on the circumstance, bi-weekly you waltzed into the Gryffindor common room with a new tale of budding romance to share with your friends. And they'd just look at you and smile,

"Ah, our (Y/N), ever the helpless romantic." they'd say, all the while you'd confirm their statements with a blush or grin.

It was harmless, innocent, you had made quite the reputation for yourself around Hogwarts.

Anyone who got involved with you knew your tendencies, that your heart could change pace like the seasons came and went. Each boy and girl you set your sights on was like a new game of chess for your dazzling beauty and quick wits to conquer.

Which, you knew in retrospect sounded terrible, but you also knew you were young, and that relationships and love should be something to explore, not something to hold you down.

Besides, it wasn't like they didn't mean anything to you, you felt heartbreak when it was said and done with. To you, the growth and rebirth that came with romance was something equally as beautiful as the summits and triumphs.

You had a sneaking suspicion, that if the Greeks and Romans were right about their gods, you had to have been under Aphrodite's watchful eye.

Coming up on your last year of Hogwarts, you had become unbeatable. You had captured so many suitors, there were even lingering rumors of Veela tainting your blood.

Of course, they were all false, though, you'd never tell anyone otherwise. Because, what fun would that be?

You had at least one crash-and-burn love story from every house to tell, it even got to the point that people were courting you with the intention of "taming" your rampage.

Never, had there been a crush you couldn't bounce back from, no matter how close to breaking you came, you never did.

That was until you just had to go and viciously fuck yourself over.

Your thoroughly used vinyl of La Vie en Rose echoed through your dorm room as it spun for what might've been the millionth time, lyrics serving as a cruel jab toward your current situation.

Des yeux qui font baisser les miens,

You hadn't meant for it turn to out this way. For the first time in your entire life, there you sat, face stuffed into your pillow, wishing to Merlin that your heart could just bleed out of your chest.

Maybe then, it wouldn't be something you'd have to deal with, and you could forget about the prospect of falling in love together.

Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche,

It wasn't too late at all, it was just after dinner, and the rest of your dorm mates had cleared to the common room to celebrate the winning quidditch match that had transpired hours earlier.

On any usual occasion, you'd been down there with them, curled up on the couch next to Lilly, Mary, or Marlene, sipping rum-infused butter beer in content.

Instead, you were curled up alone, bathed in the dim light of your bedside candle, shivering from the cold.

Your blanket had fallen half down your body nearly fifteen minutes ago, and yet, the last thing on your mind was pulling it back up.

Voila le portrait sans retouches,

You had made some lame excuse as to why you would be exempt from tonight's actives, claiming you wanted to brush up on your divination for the exam at the end of the week.

Everyone had bought it, too high on youthful excitement and laughter to stop once more and examine the dark circles under your eyes.

De l'homme auquel j'appartiens,

As you stuffed your face further into the cotton pillowcase, you desperately wished the ground would open up and take you somewhere dark and quiet. Somewhere you could forget that you existed, so you could stop feeling like such a horrible human being.

Your mind had been clouded with buzzing jumbled thoughts for what felt like hours, never ceasing to give you a moment to rest. You surely thought your ears would start bleeding from how hard you had been thinking all day.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,

You had now reached a point, with your uniform discarded haphazardly on the floor, and the sleep shirt you garnered swallowing you whole, where your brain had become filled with white noise.

The only coherent thought you could form right now, was how the hell did I get here?

Il me parle l'a tout bas,

Which of course, led you back into a rabbit hole of memories.

Je vois,

 la vie en rose...

The infirmary's visiting hours were long over, the only company you had to keep was the first year who had fallen out of a tree that was sleeping in the cot next to you.

You should've been fast asleep by now, but you couldn't bring yourself to count a single sheep. 

You weren't there for any real injury, a prank the boys had pulled a few hours earlier had backfired, and you had gotten the brunt of their mistake.

What was supposed to be a "pimple-inducing glitter rocket" (you had no idea how they got so creative) headed straight for Severus Snape, was quickly dogged by the intended victim, and who else was so lucky to be standing a few feet behind him, but you?

After a quick potion, you were fine, but you felt a little nauseous from the drink, and a little woozy from all the excitement, so you decided to stay there for the night.

A decision you were vastly regretting, as it was coming up on midnight and you had absolutely nothing to do. 

You had resorted to trying to write a letter to a boy you broke up with two days prior, he had left on quite a sour note, and truthfully you felt a bit awful for him.

It wasn't necessarily his fault, like many prior partners, you'd just grown uninterested. You figured you should at least leave him a note apologizing for the entire ordeal, even if it did get left in the bin.

That would've been great and all, only, you had no bloody idea what to write.

This had to have been the fourth page of parchment you had crumbled up and discarded next to you. With the thin sheet from the hospital bed drawn over you, you sat dumbfounded, cross-legged with a small, pink, dancing flame next to your quill. 

You had started writing the beginning sentence, but then again, nothing came to mind after that. Your regularly admired face was scrunched up deep in thought, your nightgown slipping down one shoulder as you held the feather deep in concentration. 

You re-read what you already had, and decided to just follow up with whatever came to mind. Perhaps, you were thinking too hard. 

After much consideration, you began writing once more, 

"I'm sorry I got bored of you-" scratch. Nope, that was dreadful, this was a lost cause, and you were wretched. 

You huffed dismally, with no regard for the boy sleeping only a few feet away, and just as you prepared to snuff the light out, and try to achieve some shut-eye, you heard it.

You heard the door to the hospital wing slowly squeak open. 

You paused, who would be coming in at this hour?

You turned to the small flame dancing on the candle seated next to you and snuffed it with a pinch before grabbing your wand which was next to it.

"Lumos." You whispered, as a small orb of light spouted from the end of your wand, you dragged the sheet off your form.

You looked around the hospital wing, from the dozing first year to the grand windows that lined both walls, and finally, to the door.

Though open, no one besides you and the boy seemed to be in the room.

But you were raised by wizards and were best friends with the most ruthless tricksters Hogwarts had ever seen, so you know better than to glance only at surface level.

Slowly, you turned and lowered your feet onto the cold stone floor. 

As you tip-toed around your bed, eyes squinting and wand raised high, you spoke aloud.

"Who's there?" Apart from the echo of your voice, and the murmurs from the boy next to you who stirred slightly, silence.

You stepped forward a few more paces so that you were in the center of the room.

"Show yourself!" You spoke slightly louder and turned in all directions as if hoping to catch any movement.

Nothing. 

You sighed, perhaps you were just a lunatic, and the door had blown open on its own. You turned to walk back to your bed, and just as you took one step, you were interrupted by what nearly made you shit yourself.

"Hello, dear." 

A voice cut through the air next to you, and you screamed on pure instinct.

Well, you would've, if not for the hand shooting out of the darkness to cover your mouth. You swung your wand in the direction of your assailant and were met with a sight completely unexpected. 

Remus Lupin's big brown eyes, illuminated by your wand stared back at you. Or rather, down at you. 

The significantly taller boy was heaving, his ruffled oaky hair falling slightly in his face, which held an expression that suggested you had scared him. The light traced his scars, and his large, cut-covered hand closed around almost the whole bottom half of your face.

You couldn't help but think; how pretty Remus Lupin looked at that moment.

He gulped, a smile tugging at his lips as his expression shifted into one of slight amusement, "Alright love, I'm going to remove my hand now, and you are going to promise me you won't scream at us."

His voice was a soft whisper and reminded you of the rocky seashore you used to visit every summer with your parents when you were little. 

It sent a shiver down your spine, had it always had that effect?

You then reconsidered his wording, Us? Your eyes shifted to his right, and there you were met with an even more surprising sight. 

Sirius Black stood with one hand in his pocket, and the other clenching James Potter's invisibility cloak.

"Of course." You thought.

He stood with an air of relaxation like he always did. His annoyingly beautiful face was drawn in mirth, though far more sheening than Remus'.

His brows were raised, and his eyes regarded your appearance with what could only be described as mischief, as a feathery strand of his rebellious raven hair dipped between his eyes. 

He winked at you after you had seemed to stare for a little too long, causing you to snap out of your bewilderment, and look back to Remus, who remained rooted in the same spot looking at you expectantly. 

You nodded at him, holding his gaze, which seemed far too intense for a boy his age. For whatever reason, he nodded back. 

He removed his hand, and just as he did, you swatted it away and stepped back.

"What in Merlin's name are you both doing here?! You scared the hell out of me!" You whisper-shouted at the pair. The two boys smiled youthfully at you in response.

Sirius finally swaggered forward, and past you, not refraining from brushing against you as he did. He turned and plopped down on your bed, discarding James' cloak next to him.

In his natural air of arrogance, he leaned back on his palms and lolled his head to the side, grinning up at you.

"We thought our girl could use some company, didn't we Moony?" 

Against your better judgment, you rolled your eyes and swayed to look at Remus, who remained smiling down at you. 

Annoyingly, a smile of your own made its way onto your face.

It was no secret that out of the group you, Sirius, and Remus were close in a way that the others weren't.

I mean, of course, the boys, and you and the girls would always be close in your respective ways, but for some reason, you three just seemed to click in a weird, and almost perfect way.

It wasn't like they called any other girl in the friend group "their girl", and it wasn't like you'd go through the animagus process for just anyone. 

Remus bit his tongue, his eyes flickered from Sirius', and back to yours before he nodded once more.

Suddenly, he pulled his wand from his pocket and lit a candle on a bedside table across the room, so that your wand could be lowered and placed gingerly in the pocket of your nightgown.

 As he returned his wand to his pocket all the same, he stepped forward and took both your hands in his own, swinging them back and forth idly, "Yeah, that and we wanted to apologize again for being the reason you're in here in the first place."

"Even though it was James' idea to begin with!" Sirius' voice beckoned from behind you.

Remus shot him a glare over your head before looking back down at you and rolling his eyes, swiping his thumb gently across the back of your hand, "Yes," he droned begrudgingly, "even though." 

You bit your bottom lip while grinning in an attempt to conceal the laughter rising in your throat.

You released one of his hands, still gripping the other as you spun yourself around and face Sirius, who was now sitting cross-legged on the bed. 

You couldn't help the content sigh that escaped your lips as you regarded the look of merriment and genuineness that graced Sirius' face. 

You took turns looking between both boys before saying, "Consider yourselves forgiven, though I have a feeling that wasn't the only thing you came for."

"You'd be right to assume, Lovebug," Remus responded. Another thing, there wasn't a soul on the planet save for Remus and Sirius who called you Lovebug.

It was a title fashioned for your romantic tendencies, and it suited you quite well.

Sirius suddenly hopped to a stand, before taking his wand to poke the sleeping boy's foot ever so slightly, "We are taking you to the astronomy tower, to watch the crescent moon." He said nonchalantly, you scoffed in disbelief. 

"Right now? But Sirius I'm in a bloody nightgown, not to mention barefoot, and all my things-"

You were cut off by Remus, whose arms had suddenly wrapped around your shoulders, "Relax darling, we'll have you back before the sun rises, maybe we'll even take your things and you back to the dorm where you belong." 

You chuffed, "But-"

"As for the nightgown and lack of shoes, we can assure you, love, you look absolutely smashing in it, and have cute enough feet for it not to be too grotesque." Sirius winked.

You sighed and tried to ignore the light blush that settled across your cheeks, drowned out by the darkness.

You groaned petulantly like a child as you struggled to come up with a counterpoint, and leaned into Remus' lankily muscular build.

"C'mon Darling, it's your favorite moon cycle, and we know you must be bored to tears." 

You froze as Remus' smooth voice resonated against the shell of your ear, his breath fanning over you slightly.

It was then you became aware of just how dipped in his scent you were, it completely engulfed you, the smell of pinewood, candle wax, and parchment. 

You cleared your throat, before Sirius interjected once more, "Evidently, by the literary devices she's turned to to cope."

Your eyes widened, as your headshot over to Sirius, who had now grabbed and held the parchment you had forgotten you left on your bed.

His hair created a curtain around his face as he leaned over to read it, still though you could make out the shit-eating grin on his face as he did so. 

"Dear Callum, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from at the moment, but I'm sorry I got bored of you-" He read aloud in a high-pitched voice before he broke down into laughter.

You wrenched out of Remus' hold before surging forward and snatching the paper from his hand and shoving him slightly.

"Give me that you oaf!" You hissed lowly.

He snicked and pulled you into a hug, "Oh come now, you know I'm only joking lovely, please don't leave me! I promise never to bore you!" He sang, you elbowed him in rebuttal.

"Alright, fine! FINE! I will go, will you stop it now?!" You snapped, his laughter eventually died down as he hummed and looked down at you.

You craned your neck to meet his gaze, "Ah, knew you'd come around Lovebug, right then off we go!" He announced before spinning you and setting you down on the ground.

You watched as he practically skipped over to Remus, before grabbing the boy by the jaw and pulling him into a simple kiss.

Yet another symbol of your closeness, you were one of the only ones who knew that the two were more than just friends.

Remus hummed before returning the kiss and pulling away.

Sirius leaned into his neck, "Told you she'd come around Moony."

Remus licked his lips and gave you a half-lidded once over, not even he could contain the dim beam that spread across his face. 

"Course she did, she's our girl after all." He mused.

In an instant, the smile dropped from your face.

It was then, for the first time in a long time, you felt something. Like a punch in the gut, one that you knew familiarly, but not to this extent. 

The air in your lungs seemed to leave you all at once, as a cold hotness spread over you.

Your vision began to tunnel, as your ears filled with wind, and you became all too aware of the sweat that coated your palms.

"No," you thought, "no way."

 Your heartbeat quickened, and you desperately hoped that with Remus' advanced senses, he couldn't hear it. 

There was no way this was happening, not to you, not right now.

It was such a simple sentence, one you were sure he and Sirius had uttered to you before, so why did it ignite this feeling in you?

Why, did you have to have such a reaction, and why now? 

You wiped the sweat that sprouted from your palms on your nightgown and could feel some new form on the nape of your neck.

It felt as though the air of comfortability from earlier had evaporated, replaced with a thick blanket of awkwardness and anxiety, at least on your part.

The boys you had leaned into so carelessly before, had now become the two people you wanted to be furthest from.

You knew this feeling, you knew what it was, and normally, you'd welcome it like an old friend. But not this time, not for them. 

Why, did it have to be them?

"(Y/N)" Sirius' question shook you from your state of silent panic. You blinked and swallowed a thick glob of your saliva. 

"Yeah?" Your voice was far less even than it had been a second ago, it wavered and shook much without you meaning it to.

The boys looked at you with confusion drawn over their expressions, "You ready to go?" Remus said as if you were some dimwitted puppy. 

Your eyelids flickered, and you took a deep breath. "Yeah, sorry, I just zoned out, must be the after-effects of the potion." You lied through your teeth. 

They nodded at you, still seeming suspicious of your behavior but not questioning the matter further.

Each boy extended a hand, and you almost let out a shattered sigh as you slowly stepped forward and took each hand in your own.

As you three began walking to the door, and you plastered a smile on your face, you began to hear your voice screaming inside your head.

In an instant, you knew what you had done. 

You'd just gone and fallen in love with two boys you knew you couldn't have.

That exchange had transpired a week ago, and ever since then, you'd been spiraling.

You felt hot tears gather in your eyes as you recounted it redundantly. In your mind, there were layers to how fucked up this was.

You can't like two people at once, that's utterly selfish. You berated yourself, especially since those two people are dating each other, not to mention two boys! Not to mention even more two boys that just so happen to be your best friends!

You groaned as you rubbed your temples, blinking back the tears.

Any logical, normal person would've taken the high road, and just silently waited until this infatuation passed.

But as you were reminded incessantly, you were the furthest from logical, or normal.

The longer you lingered with this knowledge, the more unbearable it became.

Every moment you spent trying not to think about Sirius or Remus, was another moment in which your little crush turned into a full-blown obsession.

At first, you had resigned to pretending as if nothing was amiss, forcing smiles and hoping they couldn't tell. But every day you felt your resolve weakening, and so as of today, you had completely avoided them at all costs.

Then, you just had to let your friends drag you to that stupid quidditch match.

You had managed to sit as far from Remus as possible and tried to push through through the awkwardness, which worked for awhile, and then the world had to go and give you another slap in the face.

After James had caught the snitch, you were dealt the misfortune of locking eyes with Sirius, who, high on excitement as he was, decided to beam at you, and blow you a fucking kiss.

Damn Sirius Black for being the natural flirt he was, and damn his stupidly perfect face.

You knew in hindsight it was just Sirius being Sirius, he was head over heels for Remus.

It's not like he knew how much he made your heart flutter from that simple act alone.

But the side effects of it were damning, and whilst you got by with averting eye contact and keeping to yourself for the walk back to the castle, you refused to risk a much more obvious reaction given the boys pull anything else.

You sighed, again, as you shut your eyes and listened to the last lyric that played from your vinyl.

Et, dès que je l'apercois, alors je sens en moiI, mon coeur qui bat...

You bit the inside of your cottoned mouth, and gulped sending a sting down your dry throat.

Your favorite song was beginning to sound like torture every time you translated its meaning in your head.

Yes, you thought bitterly, I see life through rose-colored glasses, and look where that's got me now.

Finally, you opened your eyes. God, your side of the dorm was a mess, Lily was going to kill you.

Not that it wouldn't be deserved, you shot at yourself.

With all the remaining strength in your body, you pushed yourself off your bed. The needle on your record player had finally reached the center of the vinyl, meaning it was time for you to get up and move it again.

As your feet landed on the cold floor, you winced, rolling your ankles to re-attune your body to movement.

After a moment you stood, not missing the blackness that pinched at your view from your lightheaded state. You began to walk across the room, ignoring the cries that sounded from your locked joints.

Your brain felt fuzzy, and your movements were reduced to emotionless and empty.

You stopped in front of the table on which your record player sat, and lifted a weak, trembling hand to the needle.

And as you picked up, and moved it to the edge, allowing the song to replay once more, you heard the startling sound of the door creaking open.

You didn't bother to look at her, instead, you closed your eyes and inhaled in preparation for what was to come.

"Godrick, (Y/N) the room's a mess, what have you been doing all this time?!"

Lily's maternal croon should've at least offered a morsel of comfort, and yet, all it did was cause more tears to sting the corners of your eyes.

Your ears filled with ocean sounds as Lily began to parade around the room, picking up all your discarded articles of clothing, too lost in her own ramblings to notice the air of gloom that hung over you.

You bit your lip as you shut your eyes tightly, trying desperately to keep any more tears from running freely down your rosy cheeks.

Lily had this way about her, she was too comforting, too emotion-invoking.

You wished she would've just stayed downstairs for one more hour, at least then you would've more had time to collect yourself.

But she didn't, she was here, and she was going to witness you in the state that you were; raw, terrified, and utterly humiliated.

Your mind had turned into a wind tunnel of thoughts and feelings, preventing you from noticing how Lily had halted her movements and slighted her gaze to your now shaking form.

"(Y/N)? Lovie? Are you alright?"

You opened your eyes and looked up at the ceiling for one moment, teeth biting down harder on your trembling lip.

Finally, you turned and met her head-on.

Lily gasped in spite of herself, "Oh, Y/N." she whispered, brows stitched in worry, emerald eyes widening.

Before you could blink, she was on you. Lean arms enclosing your figure, one placed comfortingly behind your head, the other wrapped around your waist.

"Darling, what's happened?" Her soft voice resonated in your ear.

You couldn't bring yourself to respond, burrowing your head in her shoulder, shaking it slightly.

Your arms had returned the embrace tenfold, hands grasping her sweater tightly like she was the only thing in the universe holding you together at that moment.

Before you could stop yourself, soft hiccups began to escape you, and it was then, as Lily pulled away and began to wipe at the wetness under your eyes, you realized, you had to tell her.

You allowed yourself to be guided to her side of the room and sat down on her plush, quilted bed.

Blinking through tears you tried to focus on Lilly's concerned face, as she pushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, and took your hand.

"Y/N, please, tell me what's the matter." Lily begged quietly as she smoothed her thumb over the back of your hand.

The moonlight from the window above her bed was nearly the only thing that illuminated the space around you, sheening on your variability, and exposing your flaws.

Your eyes flickered as you took a deep breath and attempted to collect your thoughts, and organize them into something, anything, clear enough to be spoken aloud.

"I..." Your voice quietly resonated, coarse and croaky from hours of wailing and weeping. You fought against the tightness in your throat, encouraged by Lily's soft eyes, and comforting presence.

After a moment, you cleared your throat and tried again.

You began with a sigh, focusing on the way Lily smelled of vanilla, allowing her scent to calm your flurrying mind.

"Lily," you said, much quieter this time, "I've done something terrible."

Lily's brows furrowed once more, in confusion this time. "What can you mean?" she replied, ever inquisitive and eager.

You inhaled and exhaled slowly, here it goes.

You gripped her hand like it was your lifeline, "I've..." you paused.

"I've fallen in love again."

Quiet settled over the room, blanketing the two girls.

Lily blinked, face going blank.

Before she could stop herself, a snort escaped from her mouth. Her demeanor of worry was now replaced with one of disbelief and wry amusement.

"You must be joking, seriously (Y/N)? That's all this is about? another silly little fling?" She teased, now finding this entire situation utterly ironic.

You huffed, frustration becoming your face. "No," You interjected, voice strained and tight.

"It's not- God, it's not that I've fallen in love again, it's with who!"

Lily raised a brow, squinting, lip quirking. "Right then," she teased, "Tell me, who is the soul lucky enough to hold your affections?"

You were glaring and lifting yourself off the bed in an instant. Bitterness bitting at your tongue.

"Forget it." You bit.

Lily sighed and grasped your hand before you could get even two steps. "(Y/N)," she groaned in defeat, feeling instant guilt as more tears glided down your chin.

"I'm sorry, that was cruel of me. You can tell me, and I won't make fun of you."

You eyed the redhead suspiciously, "Promise?" You quipped. Lily smiled, "Promise."

You bit the inside of your cheek and returned to your spot on the bed.

You huffed and picked away at some of the skin around your fingernails anxiously. "You really promise not to judge?" you mumbled, looking up at her through your wet lashes.

Lily nodded, "I promise lovie, you can tell me." her smile was the reassurance you needed, but it didn't lessen the ache in your heart.

You shut your eyes, annoyed at the feeling of more tears gushing down your neck.

You covered your face in your palms, before admitting out loud the confession you'd been reckoning with for days.

"I fucked up," you said through tears as you lifted your eyes to meet Lily's, "I've fallen in love with Remus Lupin," you watched Lily's eyes turn into saucers, "And, Sirius fucking Black."

In any other situation, you would've laughed at how Lily's jaw fell open, but this was no laughing matter. Her hand flew to hover above her mouth, and for the first time in all that you've known her, Lily Evans had been rendered speechless.

And you, were growing more anxious by the moment. Tears were now fully cascading down your face, sobs and hiccups wrenching from your throat.

"Say something!" You begged, her silence was making you feel worse by the second.

Lily jumped, broken out of her state of shock. She closed and open her mouth, trying to find the right words, before she so eloquently settled on,

"Merlin's fuck, (Y/N)."

You cried harder if that was even possible.

"I know, I know, it's horrible isn't it?" You whined.

After a week of keeping this all bottled up, it was now all coming crashing down on you.

You felt your heart ripping at the seams, in such a short period of time, these boys had suddenly had the most magnifying attraction you had felt.

You felt so utterly stupid, had you always liked them? Did it just so happen that that fateful night was your moment of realization?

Either way, neither explanation lessened your suffocating distress.

As you let your head fall into your hands, Lily grabbed your shoulders, rubbing them up and down encouragingly.

"Well, I won't lie to you sweetheart, it doesn't look amazing." She winced, resolving to pull your sobbing body to hers, wrapping her arms around you once more.

Lily knew the weight of this situation, because she knew Remus and Sirius, more especially, the relationship the two shared.

"When did you find this out?" She asked softly. 

You sniffed, "A week ago, I think? Oh Merlin, maybe I've always known but was never ready to admit it to myself." 

Lily sighed thoughtfully, before replying. "Well, do you want to tell them?" 

You thought for a moment, before shaking your head in defeat.

"It's no use Lils, even in my wildest dreams, they're out of my reach. I can't have them, and the fact that I even want them makes me feel like the biggest arsehole in the world."

Lily stayed quiet as you continued your rant, allowing you to verbalize all the feelings that had been festering in your heart. 

"Godrick, they're so perfect for each other, it's almost unreal. You've seen them together, they look as if they were made for each other. Not only that, but they fought so hard for the right to be together. And who the hell am I to come in here and even consider ruining that? I must be the most selfish girl in the world." 

You felt your heart break a little more with each word, but you couldn't stop yourself, you had to let these thoughts surface. 

"They trusted me," you sobbed, "every deep, grimy secret that they had no obligation to share, they trusted me enough to tell. All they've ever wanted from me was a friend, someone to be their home, and now I've gone and ruined it."

"You don't know that-" Lily tried, but you interrupted before she could even finish the sentence.

"Yes, I do! You know how I get Lily, even about simple crushes they become all I can think about. I will not be able to stop thinking about them, and every single time they feel comfortable enough to be affectionate in front of me, I'll break all over again."

Finally, you paused and took a deep breath.

"There is absolutely no situation in which this can turn out alright for me."

Lily felt her heartache for you as she assessed the sheer pain in your voice.

However, this situation was difficult, because she had to consider Remus and Sirius' well-being too.

She tapped a finger on the bare skin of your arm. "You know what I think?" She finally said.

You lifted your head and met her calculating eyes with your own. "What?" you asked pathetically. 

Lily rotated her jaw, "I think, that this situation is much bigger than you or I, so before we go making blind assumptions, we need to let Remus and Sirius speak for themselves."

She paused, "(Y/N), I know you're scared, but you have to tell them."

You inhaled deeply, eyes flickering with fear.

You were scared, terrified actually. But, the more you thought about it, the more you realized what you had known all this time.

Lily was right, they needed to know. 

You couldn't just disappear from their lives without giving them a floor to speak their peace, it wasn't right.

Doing that, you decided, would truly be the cruelest thing you could possibly do.

You huffed, before blinking away the last of your tears and taking a moment to wipe the mess off your face.

Lily sat and watched you as you began to collect yourself, leaning on her own arm for support. 

After a moment, when you felt as though you were moderately put together, you shook your hands out and breathed deeply for that last time.

You looked to Lily, there were still a million questions you wished could be answered, but for tonight, as you checked the clock and saw it was coming up on 1:00 A.M., you settled for just one.

"Do you think they realize I've been avoiding them?" You cringed.

Lily opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, a sharp knock sounded at the door.

"(Y/N) (L/N), you open this door right now, or so help me Merlin, I will blow it down!" Sirius' muffled yell sounded from the other side of the aged wood.

Then, Remus chimed in. "You know he'll do it love, so there's no use in fighting."

You froze, and for a moment as Lily's expression turned into that of a deer in headlights, you thought maybe the whole universe froze with you.

Your blood ran cold as they continued raving about their usual nonsense, and as you saw the door handle rattle, you and Lily finally spoke in unison.

"Oh, fuck."

[sameglasses]

i'm sure many people talked about it before, but i actively hate how the ts crew deals with ads, merch, or even basic communication and i need to rant about it too a little (the rest's under the cut, i didn't think i'd be that long but here we are lol)

there's another youtuber that i admire a lot more for this. half his channel is "regular" videos on pokémon strategy, and the other half are livestreams, let's plays, best-of etc (his name is Fildrong btw, if you're speaking a little bit of french and you like pokémon go check out his content, he's super funny) this dude knows how to run a channel, and it shows; he always keeps in touch with his fanbase, letting them know what comes next for videos, let's plays, merch, bigger projects, etc. he reaches out to artists whenever he needs to and pays them decently by the way, he lets the fans know when he's going to have some rest, etc etc. you know, basic stuff

and you wanna know the best part? he's doing this alone. he makes collabs with friends or artists, obviously, and he has an editor for his best-of only, but he runs most of his channel on his own

Thomas and his team don't get this; they're not a group of small creators anymore, they're running a whole business, and it hurts to see a business this big doing it worse than some dude doing more "modest" content on his own (depends on the videos tho, i don't think a roadtrip throughout Europe on a bike is what you could call "modest") (yes, Fildrong did that. twice. the absolute madman)

they're trying to capitalize on a series that's slowly dying because of the lack of communication, or even respect for its fans. i don't think Thomas himself is that invested into it anymore, but i'd much rather him telling us that than trying to make as much money as possible without making actual content. hell, if he even wants to cancel sanders sides altogether for any reason, i'm fine with it!! i'd be disappointed for sure, but at least he'd stop the massacre and do a Cartoon Therapy 2.0

you could claim that because Fildrong has a much smaller fanbase, it's easier for him to communicate with his fans, and to that i'll answer: Markiplier someone else made the same comparison (i can't remember the url, wave if you're here buddy), but Mark doesn't have this problem either; he also keeps in touch with his fans, to let them know about his next project, a little about what's going on in his life, sometimes, when he's going to take some vacations etc, because he knows what he's doing. and he's one of the most popular youtubers ever

what's their excuse to just even tweet "hey sorry for the delay, the next episode is going to take some time" or something like that?? while we would be thrilled to see new content, we'd appreciate even more honesty. the last video made me feel like being taken for an idiot that would willingly give their money away for some over-priced bullshit because look!! a totally new sanders sides video!!!! not a tasteless ad disguised as actual content at all!!!!!

(and yeah, i know the team isn't responsible for the price of the plushies. i'm still allowed to complain about it bc yeah i guess they're kinda cute, but i'm not spending so much money for this) (i don't even think they ship those in my country anyway)

[thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask]

Lowkey, I find it crazy how my brain works now.

In the past I'd be terrified of my abusers name or presence, now I can say his name freely and him being around still gets me all shaky, but I can still function almost perfectly.

I haven't seen him for a while, bur I feel like if push came to shove, I'd be ok around him again

Sometimes I picture nyself being friends with him again. What would he be like now? Would he treat me like an actual person and be an honestly good person, or would he still treat me like utter shit and sexualize me? I wonder that often.

One of my friends have been getting a lot of guys getting crushes on her, and this is what triggered me to have these thoughts.

Without my wife to kinda keep me grounded, I've been just lost in thought.

I'm scared of when he sees me again, what he'll say or do.

I'm in my glow up Era rn because I'm getting my shit together, and I'm scared in all honesty.

But, sometimes I wish I wasn't getting better. Like, I'm getting better right, haven't have an episode in weeks, but sometimes a trigger comes in.

I still don't like touch. Sometimes my friends grab me and my fight or flight response kicks in and I fucking grab their thoughts. This happens when someone touchs my legs, arms, shoulders, or just anywhere under my neck. One of my friends likes to touch the back out my neck because I'm super sensitive there and if someone touched me there I shoot up like a rocket. I'm fine with that because I find it funny.

I remember when a new kid in my class grabbed my chin unprovoked. Mentally I was ok, but my eyes started water and I was shaking like crazy. Mentally I was normal, but my body was shaky and terrified.

There's also one thing I've noticed about my crush.

He's Dominican. He reminds me a lot of my abuser, not in looks tho, in the way he presents himself. His resting face I'd so similar to his that it's terrifying. Like it's a pissed off numb face, but his smile is what makes me like him so much. It contradicts the reminder of my abuser and I feel fine again.

Mentally I've been a lot happier, but my temper and emotions have been everywhere.

Im a lot more moody and easier to piss off, and a lot more intrusive and going back to old habits.

I've noticed that I've been aexualizing myself a lot more recently. Idk if it's a confidence boost in my appearance or what but it's mostly when I'm alone.

but overall life has been moody. It's mostly my mind contradicting it's self.

Like, my scars have completely faded and I miss them because I felt like it made me prettier, and I feel incomplete without them.

And then my classmates and old volleyball teammates are all fucking annoying. And then random niggas I don’t know are getting on my nerves.

Sometimes I wish I could go back, but Sometimes I wish I could stay. Contradiction this, Contradiction that.

I want something bad to happen to me, or least remember my trauma. I only remember snippets of what happened between me and my abuser, but I'm 95% sure he never like, SA'ed me or anything. But, my reactions stuff, especially sexual shit, I don't think it's only him, something else had to happen.

I have a guess, two actually. One of them is definitely not true because, no.

But, I have a really vague memory from when I was little, before I met my abuser.

I think it was 2nd grade, and a family member from my mom's side picked me up. I don't remember if it was a dream or reality.

All I remember after that though was my parents being fucking pissed at him, and my mom telling me that if he ever came to pick me up, don't go with him.

And my dad was pissed at him for years. Even saying to never let him in our house, even after he died.

Just, so much confusion and so little conformation.

I have memories of me being picked up from my bed and being taken to lord knows where. Memories from a house my parents had when I was a little babu.

I just. I just wanna remember the full picture.

[honey-milk-depresso]

dunno if this has been requested already, but can i get an albedo mc with the vice dorm leaders?? only if u want to :)

An alchemical genius, no wonder Divus favors you over everyone else. An amiable and patient, a kind soul in place. But you spend your time in recluse areas, sometimes having a slight distaste with talking with your peers because of the trouble needed to maintain the social relationship. You love drawing a lot, observing the things around you with curious eyes. Secretive about your past, you love working on many experiments, but know how to take a break. A bit of an oddball I must say.

You're also somehow very good with children, apparently.

Sorry there's no Ruggie, Jamil and Lilia- ;-;;;;;; And had to add in Idia to fulfil another anon's request.

Also pretty boy Albedo, he's so sweet UwU

TWST The patient and experimental alchemist, s/o (Albedo)

Trey Clover

Well, you certainly are quite weird. You usually exclude yourself from places with many people, even if you had met the Adeuce combo first, he doesn't see you around them so often even though the three of you claim you're best friends.

Trey sees you have a thing for alchemy, you love asking Crewel questions, albeit at appropriate timings, and Crewel keeps praising you for making a successful alchemy performance. It's not to become a teacher's pet, but rather because you were genuinely curious and love alchemy in general.

Trey is very appreciative of your calm, patient and kind nature. Heartslabyul is just filled with non stop drama, in fact, all of NRC is. Being with you, makes him feel more relaxed as you both remain quiet, enjoying the peaceful silence, occasional sounds from your pencil when you sketch and small conversations between you two.

He's also appreciating the fact you're wise enough to know how to take a break, so he wouldn't get worried you worry for him tho-.

You and Trey experiment on things related to alchemy science, your way of putting words together while making a hypothesis or conclusion and reason is somehow alluring to him.

Sometimes he sees you drawing in your sketchbook, while peering over it to look at him, eyes back to what you were drawing.

Upon finishing, you show him, and only him, that you drew things like the flowers, plants and trees, but most importantly, a beautiful sketch of him. You look a little shy when you showed him.

He chuckles.

You certainly are a unique one, aren't you?

Jade Leech

How interesting. A quiet little fish sketching away in their sketchbook, looking naive. How cute~ That was Jade's first thought.

He soon realized that you have always been watching him from the start, curious about his anatomy upon hearing he was a mer eel. A sneaky one he is, he peeps into your sketchbook when you aren't looking, discovering how you think his eel form looks like, finely sketched.

Perhaps he might show you? You're so curious as ever. You excel in alchemy, and you hold a passion for it dear, quite adorable may he add. You love experimenting on potions, chemicals, elements and much more, something Jade finds quite amusing, watching you as you stir a concoction in your cauldron.

You're patience and kindness is something he appreciated. Being the vice dorm leader of Octavinelle, isn't very easy. Jade's been running errand after errand non stop, everyone asking for his help with little patience sure gets him to burn out easily. Lucky for him, he gets to relax in the comfortable silence place between you two, occasional conversations brought up is something he thinks about a lot.

He's very keen on unravelling your past; you seem to keep it from everyone. He's not trying to be nosy, but he's just as curious of you as you are with him.

It's only fair he also gets his trade of the deal when he shows you his true form, hmm?~

Rook Hunt

Oh my! What an interesting and refreshing person you are! You have a keen eye for detail, don't you? Observing your surroundings, curious of the world around you, like himself!

Your sense of experimenting is something he admires, and he's more than glad to help you in doing so! He doesn't have to worry about you getting tired so frequently, you know when's the right time to take a break!

Rook is very moved by how patient and kind you can be, especially with him. His poor little soul can't handle the cruel weight of the school!~ You told him to please stop being dramatic- he "wasn't"- Geez-

It's funny how someone who likes talking, well, sort of, is friends with someone as quiet as you. Quite the dynamic you two make. He notices you seclude your self in places where there's zero to none people around, so... he'd be the one person who's always with you.

You're usually patient, so long as he doesn't disturb you too much, and Rook respects you want some quiet peace. And in all honesty, he loves the peaceful tranquility brought about.

He doesn't mind such <3

Ortho Shroud (Platonic)

Ortho finds you very cool!

He thinks you're love for alchemy and experimenting is something his brother would totally love! On the topic of his brother, you do remind him a lot about him. You two like to be alone but for different reasons.

Idia is more afraid of social interaction and awkwardness, but you on the other hand, you just prefer the peace and quiet, and maybe also you don't know how to handle social relationships too well.

That's okay! Ortho loves seeing you draw. Sometimes, he show your drawings to his brother and tells him what's it's all about. Your art is so detailed, fine and beautiful, he's never really seen such artistic talent in real life other than you!

You like showing him what you do, and show him cool things while you perform alchemy like creating an illusion of bright blue butterflies come to life from mixing potions.

It's super cool! And really beautiful! You can even create art it alchemy, so interesting!

I'm sure big brother would love how kind and patient you are! He admires that, and he feels big brother needs someone like you to help him!

He likes seeing you apart of his family, even though it just consists of him and Idia.

You're his other, cool role model, that's for sure! <3

Idia Shroud

Idia is super thankful that you're very patient with him, and that you're relatively quiet. He hates social interaction, the pressure's just too much, and he doesn't know how to keep a conversation going.

So you're quiet nature and being patient when he tries to think of a way to reply or talk to you is very appreciated. He usually just scrolls through his phone, hearing your pencil in contact with the pages of your sketchbook, drawing away. He wasn't going to lie, he think's you're really cute when you're focus on drawing.

Every time you're experimenting with your ace subject, alchemy, he usually helps you, albeit if you wanted him to usually because you just see him there just staring at your cauldron and sometimes you very tempting to want to join you- and he feels a little scared he might mess up.

You reassure him that it's okay to fail an experiment, and thus they are experiments, that they aren't made to be perfect the first time round. By this point, he thinks you're a saint, you're so kind and patient and like- he's just- there

Honey, you are the PERFECT GAMER BOY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT-

Idia sees you one day sketching a lot, while you look at him intently sometimes. Was pretty nervous about what you were doing, but ultimately melt when you show him you were sketching him.

He's so flustered, embarrassed and happy at the same time because he didn't expect you to draw him, and he wonders why you wanted to draw him, but he's really happy you wanted to.

It makes him feel special <3

[konowhore]

aoba johsai headcanons | watching a volleyball game with them

warning(s): spoilers from season 2-3, not proofreaded 

a/n: these are,,, very long HAHA and i’m so sorry that these are like,,,,,, all ending with reader and bf sleeping LMAO...

prompt: you watch a volleyball game with your boyfriend. you didn’t realize that it was a game between the two teams his team lost to.

oikawa

PLEASE HE WAS SO BITTER IN SEASON 3 IT WAS SO FUNNY????

but anyways

he had dragged you to watch the shiratorizawa v. karasuno game bc ‘you’re my gf i need emotional support<3′

you didn’t really know much about volleyball, maybe the basics like positions, but you were still excited to watch

his ass would choose the seat farthest away from the court simply bc he didn’t want to be seen and he would make the snarkiest remarks while watching about how they played and you would just be like: .. yea..... 

he’d realize that you’re a little confused abt what’s going on and then go:

“need me to explain anything princess?”

you lean into him and nod a bit, turning your head to smile up at him

his glasses reflect some light but he shifts them so he can look you in the eyes

cue you blushing bc the looks he gives you ?? <333 it makes ur heart cartwheel

anyways he rubs circles on the back of your hand with his thumb, explaining to you about the big play that just happened

you would just stare at him and take glances at the game because he was just so admirable

he knew so much, he played really well

you knew he worked so hard to try and get nationals, yet his team ended up not making it

out of the blue while you both sit and watch, you stretch up to kiss his cheek

oikawa, who usually isn’t too flustered, has pink-dusted cheeks when he looks at you

“yes princess...?”

“nothing, i just adore you.”

the growing smile on his face makes you giggle and rest your head on his shoulder

the game continues, oikawa continuing to make remarks about each team, observing the game

you get a little bored, hugging his arm and watch the ball go back and forth 

oikawa pays really close attention tho bc he offers to take you home awwwwww

“if you’re tired we can go-”

“no it’s okay!! i like hearing your commentary uwu”

stop he’s so in love with you

like he would stare at you after that and just be all <3

and so you two stay for the whole game (you fell asleep some point,,,,,, woke up once to buy water LMAO)

watching volleyball with oikawa makes you realize how much he has a passion for it and you just admire him. so. much. 

and oikawa would be so grateful that you’re so supportive and he’d tell you a thousand times after the game that he’ll do anything for you bc you tagged along and everything pls <3

matsukawa

you two hang out at your place and land upon the shiratorizawa vs karasuno game

you: aren’t those the teams you guys lost to

issei: yeah and what about it. 

he’d jokingly pout and hide his face in your neck

“you’re mean </3″ he’d whine

you laugh and run your fingers through his hair 

he grins, his hands going to rub your back as you two watch the game on the screen

you recognize some of the players from aoba johsai’s previous games, humming while watching them play

issei is only half paying attention

“well he’s cute,” you note, watching the camera pan through the karasuno members, only for it to stop on the captain

issei would roll his eyes and smack your ass a little LMAO 

“he’s short,” he’d retort, chuckling soon after when you look at him and roll your eyes back at him

“okay and”

BYE HE’D JOKINGLY GET MAD AND GO “go date your new boyfriend then<3″

it’s all fun and games between you two tho and it’s soooo cute !!

he can be a little shit but 

anyways you’re cheering for karasuno, occasionally going ‘look at their captain omg <3′ 

issei would sit up with you still straddling him and he’d just press kisses against your neck, making you giggle and try to push him away

“stopppppppp”

“not until you take your eyes off of him~”

you run your fingers through issei’s hair once more, smiling and leaning down to kiss him 

“don’t worry issei, i’m all yours”

he’d lay back again, letting you lay on top of his chest

the game keeps going, you and mattsun sitting in comfortable silence while watching

your eyes are heavy and you don’t pay any attention to it

but then you wake up hours later, still on top of your bf’s rising chest

(pls i love him god i want to hug him and cuddle with him he’s so fucking cute <3333)

hanamaki

tbh semi was one of your old friends from middle school so he asked you to come to his game,,,

your boyfriend wanted to hang out with you so you asked if he wanted to go

HONESTLY he’d be like ‘since when did you talk to people from shiratorizawa’ but he’d be fine with it

maybe he’s a little bitter but lmao

you two go to look for your friend, and when you see him, you call his name and hug him

“eita!!”

makki:  🧍

semi: hi uwu

you would introduce them to each other all smiley 

there’s tension and for what

semi: okay well i have to go warm up

you: bye eita ^^

makki:,,,

PLEASE????????

you two would sit close to the school section and holy shit is hiro glad that he didn’t wear his team jacket LMAO he would’ve gotten flamed

anyways not you cheering for eita even tho you have no idea what the fuck is going on lmao

hiro is amused and he just thinks you’re so cute tbh 

he’s staring at you watching you yell out semi’s name even tho he wasn’t in the starting lineup help.

he’s such a dumbass tho pls 

HE WOULD PURPOSELY BOO ONCE WHEN SHIRATORIZAWA SCORES THEIR FIRST POINT DAKJNDKJBJKD

not these girls staring at y’all um......

you’d scold him and he’s just :P

anyways you take a break from cheering and you sit, leaning on your boyfriend’s shoulder

“hiro are you doing okay?” you mumble, playing with his hand

“mhm, are you?”

you nod at his question and watch the game continue

“you sure you’re okay?? you seemed kinda tense, maybevenalittlejealous, when i introduced you to eita”

“i’m fine baby don’t worry”

him: me???????????? jealous>?????????????????? no.

YOU WOULD TEASE HIM SOOOO MUCH AND HE KEEPS DENYING IT EVEN THO HE VERY SECRETLY IS

after the game, you drag your boyfriend along with you to tell eita he did a good job

he’d give you a really big and long hug in which hanamaki is just standing there 

you gush about how great eita was, earning a big smile from him

when you leave the gymnasium hand in hand with hanamaki, you cling onto his arm, your smile never leaving your face

“soooo did you like the game?” you ask, looking up at your unusually quiet boyfriend

“mhm”

“did you like meeting eita uwu”

“yeah-”

“were you jealous??”

“no comment.”

cue you teasing him while his cheeks become the same color as his pink hair 

he’d just remove his arm from your grasp and then wrap it around your waist to pull you closer to him

(SORRY I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY .......)

iwaizumi

i know we all know this but iwaizumi hajime best bf idc !!!

he honestly wanted to go see the game bc he just wanted to see how the teams would play against each other

he had asked you if you wanted to tag along so you agreed

in all honestly, he didn’t think you would want to because you don’t usually seem interested in it whenever he talks about it, but in truth, you listen to every word he says abt it pls TT

he loves u so so much and u love that he’s passionate about volleyball HE JUST,, DOESNT REALIZE THAT YOU LISTEN

like he thinks it’ll bother you if he talks about it too much <//3

he’s the one who is genuinely surprised when you point out a strategy karasuno had used

“y/n i didn’t realize you liked volleyball??”

“you talk about it all the time silly”

and you give him a kiss on the nose and he just :0

“hajime cmonnnn you took me to the game you should tell me more about it uwu”

STOP. he literally,,, loves u so much

he holds your hand, his little smile never leaving his face

you lean your head on his shoulder, watching the game on the court

when the tall blond blocks ushijima’s block, you flinch a bit and stand up to look closer, seeing the tall blond yell and his teammates following suit

you cheer along with them, your boyfriend finally standing up to stand next to you

his eyes are on you only, your hair bouncing with you as you jump in excitement, your eyes shimmering with excitement

his smile just grows as you grin , turning to him in excitement

“did you see that hajime?? :D”

STOPP HES SO IN LOVE HE JUST STARES AT YOU .

and u just :D

“hajime..???”

YOU HAVE TO SNAP YOUR FINGERS IN FRONT OF HIS FACE AND HE JUST SNAPS OUT OF IT AND LOOKS AT YOU

“you’re very beautiful princess, did you know that?”

that alone makes you go pink and you playfully push him by his arm

“baby stopppp”

and you’re both just laughing and watching the game together, spending the whole day with your hands intertwined 

(he.. hajime best boy)

yahaba

you had started watching the game a bit after the first set started and your boyfriend was busy taking a shower

you knew a lot in all honesty, since shigeru happened to be on one of the powerhouse schools in terms of volleyball throughout miyagi

if he was gonna be honest he wasn’t expecting you to sit down and actually watch a game of volleyball intently

so walking into his room seeing you focusing on the karasuno v. shiratorizawa match surprised him a bit

“you watching the game?” he’d ask

“mhm!! it’s really interesting uwu”

he finds it absolutely adorable but then he tries to flirt and flex his muscles like “babe look i just got out of the shower” AND YOU JUSt,, KEEP LOOKING AT THE TV

yahaba: baby *bites lip*

you: babe get dressed and come watch with me

goodbye he just throws a shirt and some shorts on and basically jumps on top of you in which you yelp and go “shiGERU” and his mom is ON HIS ASS !!!!!!!! she literally comes in and she’s like “shigeru stop jumping onto your gf” and you rlly stick your tongue out at him

him: you’re acting like a child

you: you STARTED IT.

and you guys bicker a little and you just go “well you made me miss half the game” and HE GETS SO MAD HELPPPP

“BOOOOO”

him: clinging onto you, asking you to cuddle him

you: watching the game

eventually you give in and hug him, kissing him which makes him go quiet

“are you happy now you baby?” you ask him

“.......maybe.....”

and he just gives you a quick kiss, smiling and also giving you a slight eskimo kiss

the game becomes an afterthought as he brings up the beach volleyball game the third years organized for tomorrow all day, asking if you could help his team out 

(he insists that since you’re the ref, you should help his team consisting of kyoutani, kunimi, hanamaki, and another first and second year win bc kyoutani will just keep spiking outside the lines but you tell him it’s cheating LMAO...)

watari

(btw he’s so underrated i mean he’s not one of my faves but he deserves the world like y’all sleep on him and for what)

he’s super observant and he had been watching recorded games for a while to learn and make sure he plays his best next year pls </3 

he had invited you over to his place to hang out and you really wanted him to take a break from watching all of those recorded games

you emphasized this when you told him you would come over lmao

but alas.........

when he opened the door and you looked at the tv to see what he had put on, you saw the shiratorizawa v. karasuno game

watari: I CAN EXPLAIN.

you: .... sir.. 

PLEASE he’s taking your hand and pulling you to the couch while saying he’ll relax and just watch for fun

you sigh and follow him, letting him pull you down to sit next to him on his couch

you throw your legs over his lap, smiling while looking at him

he would give you quick, soft kisses all over your face and you both just fall into a fit of giggles

stop u literally love watching him gaze at the tv so passionately and observe how they play </3

YOU GIGGLE AT HIM AND HE’S LIKE “what are you laughing about?”

AND YOURE JUST LIKE “you’re so cute uwu”

so y’all are really just out here giggling at each other huh....... 

he??? pulls you into his lap and hugs you tightly

he’s literally so in love with you pls

so you guys just sit there and watch the game while you occasionally ask him questions

he’d be happy to tell you and he’s holding onto you the whole. entire. time.

honestly the game kinda slips away from you because you’re suddenly asleep on his chest, his arms around your waist, a hand gently rubbing your back

and he’s so grateful that he has a girlfriend who cares about him and worries about him :((

he’d turn off the game and then take a little nap with u <3 

kindaichi

tbh you spent so much time with him after the game his team lost bc he kept beating himself up for it which is >:(((((

him: i could’ve-

you: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DO NOT BRING YOURSELF DOWN COME HERE LET ME KISS YOU

as you should !!

and when he tells you he’s gonna be watching the shiratorizawa vs karasuno match after school at his place, you tell him you’re watching with him too

“i don’t want it to bore you y/n-”

“it won’t bore me yutaro dw uwu”

no bc the way you’re both in love !!!!!

you would do anything for him tbh but you genuinely thought his passion for volleyball was cute :D

he was always striving to do his best and you think he’s absolutely precious

he’d turn on the game and then immediately come over to sit with you 

you lean onto him, clinging onto his arm and smiling

“y/n are you sure you wanna watch with me??”

“mhm!!”

he gives u a very soft kiss on the head and you can’t stop smiling bc you know he gets kinda shy abt showing affection

but he feels very warm and you start feeling very sleepy 

YOU TRY YOUR BEST TO KEEP YOURSELF AWAKE

you think him making comments abt the game or what he finds interesting is really cute but youre just,, tired ya know

he notices and he’s like “you should sleep-”

“noooo yutaro i’ll watch with youuuu”

“y/n cmonn”

you pout and lean turn to lean your forehead against his arm

“i don’t wanna </3″

“it’s okayyy you can sleep if youre tired”

you look at him and he smiles, leaning forward to kiss your forehead

you can’t help but melt and you’re just,, staring at him dreamily

he’s like “..baby..?”

and you just lean forward and kiss him

“you’re the best bf ever <3″

and he chuckles and goes “and you’re the best and cutest gf ever”

he has you lay down on his bed, your hair sprawled about his pillows

he lays with you, the two of you facing the tv and your back to him

he puts an arm around you, smiling

you slowly fall asleep, smiley and snuggling back towards yutaro

he kisses your head again, telling you that he loves you and hopes you sleep well 

he’s so<333

kunimi

he acts like he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the game but you guys are chilling at his place and you flip to the channel that has the game on 

at first he’s like “you’re interested ?? in this ????”

you: babe,, of course i am,,  my bf is a volleyball player,,,,,?

PLS? he’d be like ‘oh ok’ and rest his chin on top of your head

it’s so chill between the two of you guys he’s literally just playing with your hair, humming a bit

you ask him smth but he asks you to repeat what you asked because he spaced out 

and when you ask again he just stares at you and is like ‘yes’

YOU JUST LAUGH AT HIM AND HE THINKS YOURE SO PRETTY so he just continues to listen to you ramble abt the game

eventually, he finds himself dozing off and you take notice as his chin starts feeling heavy on your head

“baby c’mon let’s take a nap-”

and he’d shake his head and go “we can finish the game-”

but you can tell he’s tired, especially from practice earlier today

so you turn off the game and turn so that you’re straddling his lap and hugging him tight

he wraps his arms around you and hums, kissing you

you smile and lean back to look at him, his eyes droopy from exhaustion

“sleep bby”

“mm only if you do too”

“i will dw <3″

and you just cling onto him, arms around his neck

he hums,  nuzzling your neck and you giggle

eventually, you two start breathing slowly, falling asleep

(tbh you didn’t rlly even care who won you just watched the game bc it was on LMAO)

kyoutani

you guys were hanging out in your room, his head in your lap while you sat up against your pillows

you were both occupied by your phones atm

he put his phone down, looking up at you curiously

you smiled as he reached to intertwine his fingers with yours

he had been at the gym more often, playing volleyball and practicing 

especially after their loss against karasuno :( 

today was one of the days that he decided he would spend his time being with you 

he doesn’t voice it often, but he appreciates how much you support him and care for him

(you picked him up from the gym the other day with some of his favorite deep fried chicken bits with the cute chicken packaging and he didn’t know how else to show you how much he loves and appreciates you other than by cuddling with you all night pls i’m </3)

anyways he’s just staring at you, admiring you, thinking about how much he loves you while you’re watching some tiktok your friend had sent you 

you had asked if he wanted to watch the game with you on your phone but he had been occupied thinking about you 

“what’d you say-?”

“i asked if you wanted to watch the game with me..? if you don’t want to it’s fine-”

“oh sure”

and he’d adjust himself so that he’s sitting with you, shoulder-to-shoulder, leaning his head so that it lays on top of yours

you’d just be all smiley, leaning into him more while playing the live stream of the game

he seemed focused, watching the game intently

you tried to focus on the game, but the only thing you could think about was the way kyoutani was holding your hand, rubbing the top of it with his thumb

eventually, as the game continues, he huffs a little, making you look up and smile at him

“you okay? we can stop watching if you want-”

“it’s fine-”

and then he adjusts himself, scooting away from you to lay his head in your lap

he reaches for your hand and puts it on his head, looking up at you

you oblige, gently rubbing his head and smiling

his eyes are closed, a slight hum coming from him

after a while, you realize kyoutani had fallen asleep, so you turn the game on your phone off

during this, kyoutani grumbles, reaching for your hand

you can’t help but giggle a little, rubbing his head while humming a little

“get some rest baby~” you croon quietly, staring at him lovingly

he opens his eyes a little, giving you a small smile

“you too okay..?”

“mhm-!”

when he closes his eyes, you smile, mumbling a little ‘i love you’ to your boyfriend

[kinktae]

bitchin’ || pt. 9 (M)

↳ PART OF MY REWIND SERIES

The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook.

pairing: fratboy!jungkook x reader

word count: 4.7k

genre: 1980s au, eventual smut, e2l

warnings: fanservice. that's it. that’s the tweet.

A/N: This fic was inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Thank you to @junqkook for letting me use her likeness!

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

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PART NINE

"Okay, just sign your name here, and she'll come to get you when she's ready." The cheery girl at the front desk told you.

You offered her a polite smile, walking over to the sit in the waiting room.

You always disliked these chairs. We were willing to bet money that these chairs have sat in this very room since your university first opened, worn out, uncomfortable, and outdated. Sure, maybe you had been in a bit of a sour mood lately – what with your fake ex-boyfriend dirty dicking you and all – but as you sat there, metal rod poking your spin, you couldn't help but frown.

As you sat there contemplating your school's renovation budget, you hardly noticed the sound of another student walking in and over to the front desk, your stomach churning as you put a face to those loose curls.

"Hey, stranger! What are you doing here?" Kiri's white teeth blinded you, walking over to you once her business with the receptionist was done.

You could feel one of your eyebrows twitch in irritation, swallowing down your scoff as she sat next to you.

"Trying to schedule my class next semester." You responded uninterestedly, contemplating whether or not the suspension from decking Kiri in the face would be worth it.

"Oh, just picking up a termination form. One of our newbies wants to pull out of Kappa Alpha Tau."

Shocker...

"Hey, so sorry to hear things with Jungkook and you didn't work out, by the way." Kiri flashed you a sympathetic look.

An audible breath left your lips, disbelief no doubt visible on your every feature. Did Kiri seriously think you didn't know it was her who home wrecked? Or was she just that much of a raging bitch?

"If you ever need someone to, like, talk to, just know that I'm here. I totally know what you're going through."

Your hands found themselves curling into tight balls in an attempt to keep your hands from shaking. Kiri looked as cool as a cucumber in front of you, perfectly composed, not a single hair out of place.

Then it hit you.

Of course. It all made perfect sense now.

From the moment she came up to you at your event offering her condolences, she had been trying to drive you off from Jungkook. She was planting seeds of doubt about their break up and his character. Manipulation and intimidation were her cards, and she played them well.

Fine. If the rules were being bent, you might as well disregard them altogether. You relaxed your hands.

"Oh, no worries. It's all good, I mean, it's not like we were actually dating." You shrugged.

Rule #2: No one can know the truth.

"What?" Kiri blinked, her smile faltering for just a moment.

You edged closer to her, cocking your head in mock surprise.

"Oh... did you not know that? That our entire relationship was contractual?"

"What are you talking about?" Her full brows furrowing.

You let out a sigh, "Yeah, so, basically, Jungkook would get his frat to fund my event if I helped make you jealous so that you'd come crawling back to him."

The polite mask that Kiri had plastered on finally cracked, her next words clipped and curt.

"What the hell is your damage, Y/N? Do you think I'm some sort of idiot how'd fall for that?"

"Good grief, did Jungkook not tell you? Weird, I feel like that's something he'd need to tell his girlfriend." You puffed out your bottom lip in mock sympathy.

Whatever resolve Kiri had built up crumbled at the way you held her stare, a note of honesty in your voice that she couldn't shake.

"I'm..." She cleared her throat, turning her nose up. "We're not actually back together yet."

"No? Really? Hmm..."

The call of your name crossed the room, and the two of you turned to look at the receptionist, ushering you over with the news that your counselor was ready for you.

You turned to Kiri with a smile, "Guess he didn't want you back as so much as he just wanted back in your pants."

Kiri looked utterly stunned, eyes wide as you stood from your seat, for once, without a clue as to what to say.

"See ya around, Kiri. Let's do lunch sometime. Oh and, happy holidays!" You fluttered your fingers at her, slipping away from her with a smugness you couldn't be assed to hide.

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"Wait... he called you?!" Taehyung laughed, eyes wide.

Yara nodded, scouring through the shelves, a specific book in mind. Belinda Carlisle was playing softly overhead and Yara found herself humming along.

As the holidays rolled around and everyone found themselves back in their hometowns, Yara was surprised to find Jungkook's frat brother browsing through the jam aisle in her local supermarket. As luck would have it, Jungkook's genetically blessed frat brother was from her hometown, the two somehow never crossing paths until now.

What started as a polite catchup over coffee, quickly turned into an everyday thing, the two of them realizing they had more in common than friend drama.

"He did!" Yara enthused. "He left a voicemail apologizing and rambled about how he wanted Y/N's address so he could go apologize, blah, blah, blah."

"That idiot." Taehyung rolled his eyes. He watched as she let out a noise of excitement, looking over her shoulder to announce that she had found the book she was in search of. He grinned in response.

"Anyway, I didn't call back. Because that's exactly how she wants to spend Christmas morning, with that jockstrap knocking at her door, right?"

Taehyung snorted, bringing the straw of his drink to his mouth.

"Miriam is gonna have your head on a stick Lord of the Flies style if she catches you with that drink in her library." Yara warned, to which Taehyung dismissed with a wave of a hand.

Yara was a funny girl; he was pleasantly surprised to bump into her during winter break. He could tell something was off when they first ran into each other, so he invited her out to grab some coffee. It was over a warm cup of coffee – with the most absurd amount of sugar he had ever seen – that she finally shared with him all that had been weighing on her mind lately.

Sure there was the Jungkook and Y/N stuff. Yara was beyond homicidal. Taehyung was grateful for winter break as he was positive she would have rung out Jungkook's neck had she seen him after what had happened. Taehyung himself was astounded to find out what exactly was true nature of the two's relationship, curtesy of Yara, of course. Even if it was fake, however, he knew Jungkook enough to know that the happiness he gave off once Y/N entered his life wasn't.

But more than that, the petite girl was worried about a boy, an irritating one who Taehyung happened to be frat brothers with. Eunwoo had approached her immediately after Kiri left him, spewing some excuse about only dating Kiri because he couldn't get Yara out of his mind.

It was bullshit if you asked Taehyung. But he hadn't the heart to tell Yara that, especially with the way she looked so torn up about it – unsure of how to respond to Eunwoo. He wasn't entirely sure what their relationship was like, but he figured it must have meant enough to her to have her feeling this conflicted.

So he did his best to cheer her up, inviting her for lunch and driving her to their local library, which he had come to find out was her favorite place growing up. They spent many afternoons sprawled out on the couches in the now abandoned children's section of the library... or at least until the crabby librarian yelled at them to leave.

If Taehyung was honest, he didn't care much for literature – he was a math guy – but the way Yara would shove a book into his chest with wide eyes and an 'if you don't read this and tell me your thoughts on it, I'll literally die,' seemed reason enough to keep showing up day after day.

"Have you talked to her about Eunwoo, yet?"

Yara flinched at the blond man's words.

"Why don't we ever talk about normal people stuff? Like the weather, or what sports team played last night."

"Yara..."

"Oooh!" She exclaimed suddenly, "I know, let's talk about President Reagan. Did you hear his speech about tearing down the wall in Germany? Crazy stuff–"

"Dude, why are you so scared to tell her about Eunwoo? You told me." Taehyung interrupted, quirking up a brow. Yara held his eyes for a moment before sighing.

"I just don't want to bring it up to Y/N, you know? She has enough going on..."

"So? She's your best friend. She'll want to help."

"Exactly! She's going to want to comfort me and make me feel better – which will just make me feel worse." Yara groaned, leaning back against the bookshelf.

"I'm... not following." The frat boy admitted.

Surely girls aren't usually this hard to understand.

"Look, I know you'd only known me for a little while, but let me pencil you in. I have a reputation, okay? Yara doesn't get hung up on some dumb boy." Yara wagged her finger at him.

"Does Yara usually talk about herself in the third person?" Taehyung chuckled.

"Yara," she continued, paying the boy no mind, "is an independent woman who likes one night stands and sex without strings. She doesn't like clingy boys getting into her head and confusing her."

Taehyung nodded, "So basically, Yara is scared of catching feelings."

"Shh! Don't tell Yara about what Yara doesn't want to hear." She turned her nose up at him, pushing herself back off the stand to march away from him. Taehyung reached for her arm without hesitation, stopping her departure with a sigh.

"Look, I don't mean to be on your ass about this, but clearly, you feel something for this kid. Otherwise, you wouldn't be spending all your time pining over him."

Taehyung immediately wished he could take back those words as an offended look fell across the petite girl's face, her hands falling onto her hips, clearly displeased.

"Pining? You think I'm pining over Eunwoo?"

Taehyung shifted uncomfortably, unsure how to navigate this situation. As much as he liked Yara, she did spark a healthy dose of fear into him.

"Well... I mean... you're spending your whole break with me just because I can give you a ride to the library so you can read sad romance novels and cry."

"First of all," Yara began, "I happen to enjoy your company. You're a good listener and, frankly, very nice to look at."

Surprise fell over Taehyung, "Nice to look at?"

"Oh, don't act like you don't know." She waved him off, "Secondly, I've never cried. I've let out a sniffle at most."

"Fine, so you're not pining over him. Just get back together with him." He responded.

"I can't."

Taehyung frowned, "Then turn him down."

"I can't do that either." She frowned right back.

"Dude."

"I'm scared, okay!" She whined, thumping a foot against the library's carpeted floor.

"Of what? What's holding you back from going back to Eunwoo?"

"...He told me he loves me."

"And?"

"And I don't even know what that means!" Yara threw her hands up in exasperation, the sleeve of her swear falling down her forearms. "I don't know how to love him back or be a good girlfriend – which I know is what he wants from me."

"Yara, I hope you don't feel like you don't owe Eunwoo anything. Because you don't." Taehyung grew serious, which only caused the torn girl to pout.

"I know, I just... I mean, I don't hate him. But it's scary. Whenever I'm dating someone, I get all up in my head like... Am I supposed to be this someone's person? Possibly forever? What the fuck!"

"No, I get it. It's a lot of pressure." He shrugged powerlessly.

"Exactly! I don't want to have to try and love someone. I want to do it. Like... not to sound like a sappy idiot but sometimes I think about all those stories I read," she gestured towards the books beside her, "about feeling a spark when you kiss your person and just... I dunno. Would be fucking nice, instead of this complicated bullshit."

Yara was far from a hopeless romantic. As much as she loved to read about romance, she had an innate urge to flee the moment the word love came around. Still, she could appreciate the idea of it.

"So then forget about that stuff. Forget about labels and expectations. Just be with whoever you want to be with. Have fun, worry about the heavy shit later."

Taehyung had a very soothing effect whenever he spoke. His tone was low and lovely, and despite the way Yara's head was still running a mile a minute, she appreciated the boy's docile nature. Certainly made her feel a whole lot less anxious.

"I want to. That's how this whole thing with Eunwoo started, ya know?" She admitted, crossing her arms over her chest. "But all men are the same. They say they're fine with keeping it casual, but they always end up falling for me, which, duh, understandable..."

The blond boy let out an airy snicker, a direct challenge to Yara's words.

"Something funny, Tae?" She pressed.

"C'mon, that's not true." He rolled his eyes breezily.

"Oh, yeah? Tell that to my four ex-partners who are all still in love with me."

"Maybe you just haven't met the one. You know... your knight-in-no-strings-attached-armor."

"I'm telling you, no such guy exists." Yara emphasized with a poke into Taehyung chest.

He grabbed the jabby finger reflexively, his long fingers wrapping around the small digit, setting his drink on the nearest shelf.

"Yara."

"Seriously, I've done my research! You're looking at a hot commodity, buddy. I may be a raging homebody, but I am very efficient—"

Suddenly, the petite was trapped against the bookshelf with Taehyung hovering over her, a large hand on either side of her head.

"Please stop talking."

Yara's cheeks flushed in surprise as she met the handsome boy's warm eyes, growing even hotter as he leaned over and pressed his mouth against hers.

He smelled distinctly of vanilla, and it sent her stomach fluttering, reeling in the way he gripped her waist, pulling him into her. She would've lost herself in the feeling of his soft lips moving against hers if it weren't for a cough ringing out from somewhere in the library.

Yara broke the kiss short, ears red as she brought her hands to wrap around her torso defensively, trying her hardest to ignore the way her heart was pounding against her chest as if trying to escape.

"You kissed me!" She scoffed, trying her hardest to seem unaffected. Taehyung shrugged.

"You kissed me back."

Oh god, this was bad. She felt all light and giddy tucked away in this corner of the library, the gorgeous tall man still close in proximity, looking at her through a smirk.

"Yes, well... I'm a very go with the flow kind of gal." She defended, brows furrowed adorably.

"Relax, Yara."

"Well, what the hell was that precisely?! Do you just make out with all your library buddies? Is there some sort of library buddy étiquette I'm not aware of?"

"I kissed you because I wanted to. Kissing is fun." He shrugged. "Some guys just want that, you know."

Son of a bitch.

"You got balls, Goldilocks. Understood. Message received, loud and clear." Yara acknowledged through narrowed eyes.

"Happy I could help, bookworm."

A corner of her mouth turned upwards, admittedly amused.

"Just so we're on the same page... you're not in love with me? You just smooched me for fun?" She looked at him skeptically.

"Sorry you had to find out this way." Taehyung joked, earning him an eye roll.

"And you don't have some ex-lover you need to make jealous?"

At those words, the frat boy laughed heartily, head shaking a firm no.

"Wicked."

Yara hopped onto the balls of her feet, hoping to catch the blond's kiss once more when her mouth met the hardcover of a book instead. She sank back down with an annoyed huff; Taehyung had pulled a book from the nearest self in reach, holding it up between them to pause the eager girl's ministrations.

Poking his head out from behind the book cheekily, he flashed her a lopsided grin.

"Easy there, tiger. What about Eunwoo?"

Yara held his eyes for a moment, wondering how she hadn't noticed what a pretty brown they were until now. She let out an appreciative hum.

"What about him?" She raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk on her lips that had Taehyung leaning back over to meet it with one of his own.

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"Thanks for agreeing to meet with me." You greeted him with a cautious smile as he slipped into the chair across from you.

You were nervous, to say the least, watching the tall man shift in his seat, trying to grow comfortable despite the uncomfortable circumstances.

"This place is disorienting." Erik scanned the mall cafeteria before flashing you a charming smile. "Thought you'd get tired of waiting and head back home. I apologize for my tardiness."

"No worries. I still don't know my way around at the mall, and I've been home for weeks." You grinned back.

A pleasant beat of silence passed between the two ex-lovers, each taking a moment to consider the other. Erik looked a lot older than he did in high school; he had on a brand new pair of glasses that suited him far better than the ones you remembered did. His hair was combed and styled smartly so that they would stay out of his eyes. A stark contrast from the long-haired boy you had come to know these past few months.

Dammit. Your eyes fell onto the red table between you two, cheeks growing warm as you realized your thoughts had drifted back to Jungkook, even with your ex-fiance sitting across from you.

Erik's voice rang out, "I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting you to call me."

"I wasn't expecting me to either." You confessed, your hands intertwining on the tabletop.

Really, you didn't have much reason to be nervous. I mean, it was Erik. Despite the end of your relationship, there was no bad blood between you two. It wasn't the first time seeing him since the breakup either... maybe it was why you had called him that had you so on edge.

You weren't sure exactly what you wanted from Erik. Company? A distraction? Maybe what you were asking of him was unfair, but as he placed a hand over yours reassuringly, you found the wall you had set up crumbling down.

"I can help you, but you need to talk to me, Y/N. If I could read minds, I would be a much richer man." His brown eyes rolled dramatically.

You chuckled. Same dry wit you remembered.

"I met someone."

"Is that what you wanted to tell me? Y/N, you're allowed to date other people. I understand your hesitation, but really, it is time you moved on–"

You let out a scoff, yanking your hand away from the now laughing man. You flashed him a feigned look of irritation, silently grateful for the change of pace in conversation, finding it much easier to talk when things weren't so tense.

"God, you are still just as full of yourself as I remembered." You teased.

Erik shrugged, "Not to sound like a cocky asshole, but is it not warranted?"

You let that question run through your mind. You suppose if anyone had reason to have a big head, it would be Erik. Intelligent, handsome, hard-working– everything a mother would want their daughter to have.

"It is. You've always been perfect..." You mused, a hint of sadness in your tone that Erik picked up quickly.

And all at once, his entire demeanor changed, a serious expression settling behind those frames of his.

"Tell me about him." He instructed calmly.

And so you did— the beginning, the end, and all the beautiful bits in between. You told him about a boy that challenged you in ways you never imagined– a boy who made you feel like the sun. You spoke of every stupid conversation you once thought of as meaningless but now weighed heavily on your heart and mind.

You were mad at him, of course. There was a reason you had been ignoring his calls and ordered Yara to keep him in the dark of your whereabouts, after all. But the more you talked about him, the more you lit up. Erik noticed it too. How could he not? It was that very way you spoke with an uncontainable passion that made him fall in love with you in the first place.

He watched with utmost concentration for the vocal inflections of your words, the slight movement of your brows that always seemed to speak your mind before you did.

It was clear to him that this boy wasn't just a boy. He could hear in the choice of words you used, words that were static and void of variables. But there were certain words you seemed to dance around he realized as you came to the end of the story... words that were evident to all but you.

"So... Analysis?" You breathed out, chest deflating as you took in Erik's frown.

"Above all... did you find out if he used protection? I don't want to presume anything about... was her name Kiri?" Erik paused, continuing once you nodded back at him, "but your health should be your number one concern."

"I had a friend of his ask him on my behalf. He says he used protection... I went ahead and got tested anyway, though, and I'm all good thankfully." You told him.

Whether or not Jungkook had passed along some sort of STI was heavy on your mind the next morning after you kicked him out. Thankfully, Taehyung was more than happy to get the answer you need but were still too damn pissed off to seek out yourself.

"Good." Erik sunk back into his seat, a hand coming up to run through his hair as he considered his next words. You suppose you were grateful to be able to talk to Erik like this still. Sure, he was blunt and sometimes stared at you like you were some case-study, but he didn't bat an eye of judgment at the news of the contract, for which you were grateful. He had known you for too long to find it peculiar that you'd pretend to be someone's girlfriend in exchange for furthering and fulfilling your passion project.

If anything, that was precisely in line with your character. He liked to think he instilled some of those traits into you.

"Well, frankly, I am sorry to hear this happened to you. You're a great girl; you deserve better than that."

Your neck warmed at Erik's words, slightly taken aback.

"Oh, um... thanks, that means a lot coming from you." You expressed your gratitude shyly.

Erik nodded back at you, "Seriously. It was very shitty of him to string you along for so long and for sleeping with Kiri despite knowing how you felt."

"Oh."

"Oh?" He frowned, not expecting your response.

You shifted in your seat uncomfortably, pausing to watch a woman with a stroller walk past your table.

"Well..." you cleared your throat, "I'm not actually sure that he knows that I, um, like him... like that."

God, this was mortifying. The first time you had admitted you liked Jungkook and it was to your ex-fiancé? Sometimes you swear you were the protagonist in a mediocre rom-com film and no one was telling you.

Erik paused, "I see. And does he know now?"

"...No."

"I see." He sat up, fingers tapping against the table in interest. He quirked up a brow at you. "Perhaps it wasn't just him who was dishonest."

You scrunched your nose at him, not liking what you were hearing. It wasn't anything that hadn't already kept you up, tossing and turning in bed at 2 AM, of course. You had a feeling this was where this conversation would lead to. Erik, as genius as he was, was fairly predictable in this sense. Rational, dependable... nothing like the spontaneous boy you had fallen for.

"So? Even if he knew, what would that change? He slept with her..." You grumbled stubbornly.

"And maybe he wouldn't have if he had known."

You crossed your arms, "You don't know that."

"You're right. I don't. I don't even know the guy. But you do." He continued, offering you a suggestive look.

Huh. Did you think that would have stopped Jungkook? And even so, would that fact alone be enough to get you to forgive him?

"I... I don't know." Was your conclusion, pulling a hum from Erik.

"Guess the only way to know would be to discuss it with the meathead himself."

"I just... I don't want to get my heart broken again. I, quite literally, didn't sign up for this." You placed your face into your hands, hating how rational Erik had to be.

"My guess? He didn't either. It seems as if you both got more than you bargained for." He shrugged.

"He's definitely not at all what I was expecting..." You trailed off glumly.

When you first met Jungkook, he was obnoxious, cocksure, and grotesquely unbothered. You swore you had never hated anyone more on the first meet. But as you came to know him, you found in him a lot of what you wished you found in yourself. Approachable, flexible, spontaneous...

You just wished it all didn't have to hurt so bad.

"You and I are a lot alike, you know." Erik spoke up once he noticed you fall silent. " And I only realized this recently, but I think that was our downfall. When I asked you to marry me, what I was asking of you... Well, it was unfair. Because I know I would never accept that if I were in your shoes."

Your head shot up at his words, hands quick to wave at him dismissively. Asking him to meet you here was not to discuss what had gone wrong in your relationship, and you didn't want him to think that it was.

"Erik, that's okay you don't have to—"

"No, no, what I mean is... we made perfect sense together and it didn't work out in the end. This meathead of yours is nothing like you and maybe it's for the better. You said it yourself that he makes you feel important and formidable." He pressed on.

"Are you trying to imply the notion of opposites attract? Because I personally believe that's a myth and that we're drawn to those similar to us—"

"Puzzle pieces."

"Wha— Huh?" You blinked, blind-sighted by the calm man's sudden words.

Suddenly, Erik readjusted in his seat, leaning in close as he nodded his head.

"Think of life as one big puzzle, and everyone you meet is shaped differently, right? Yet somehow... they fit. We find those that complete us. And they're not necessarily opposites but—"

"But different pieces in the puzzle." You sighed, understanding the metaphor.

You raised a brow at the intellectual man, "That was uncharacteristically poetic of you. I thought you were a man of science... since when do you rely on literary devices to get your point across?"

Erik let out a dramatic sigh, fingertips pressed to the rip of his glasses, leaning back into his seat as if showing his greatness.

"I'm a growing man, Y/N. Science helps you understand the mind and the body, but as far as the heart goes... there's only so much it can tell us." He tutted wisely with a wag of his pointer finger.

"Wow. I dig this character development. I quite like this new you."

"Wanna get married now?" He deadpanned suddenly, a laugh ripping out of you at his unexpected words.

Erik grinned at the familiar sound, also finding the humor within his joke. He was pleased to see that if anything, he could at least momentarily take your mind off of your heart's turmoil.

"Ask me again in another three years." You rolled your eyes, grinning wide, to which Erik threatened that if Jungkook didn't by then, then he just might.

[6sakusa]

Hi! Can I please make a request for Konoha?? Can it be super angsty where y/n is a second year and have been a Fukurodani manager since first year and he’s had a crush on them since they first showed up. Him and y/n are super close but he knows Akaashi or someone else on the team. He constantly puts their feelings above his own, listening to them ramble about their crush to him even tho it hurts him because he’s scared of rejection. One day he tells y/n to confess and they get rejected and he has to comfort them. The ending is up to you, angst or fluff. (Also can you make y/n super short like 4’9??? Oh and any pronouns are fine it doesn’t have to be gender neutral)

‘lost’ konoha akinori ft akaashi keiji.

a/n : so i kinda put my own twist on this, i hope that’s okay! if you like please support by reblogging and liking.

warnings : angst, love triangle, mild swearing, me not proof reading.

“you’re still going on about that short stack?” konoha grinned as you gushed over akaashi, of course deep down it stung. everytime he had made you smile the silver haired boy swore he could feel his heart breaking but for you, his bestfriend, of course he would put on a brave face.

besides, it was inevitable that the two of you would meet the second you had taken on the role as fukurodani’s manager in first year. konoha slightly regrets pushing you to take on the position, he had thought it would allow the two of you to spend more time together but instead it practically secured your position in akaashi’s arms.

what made things worse is he could never bring himself to hate the setter, he was an amazing friend and teammate, he was smart, handsome and funny, it was definitely understandable why you were so infatuated with him. regardless, akaashi had never even known about his crush on you so it wasn’t even like he was violating the bro code or anything.

“it’s hard to stop when he looks that good.” you leaned back slightly on your chair, you and konoha were at the back of the classroom observing the scene in front of you which was quite literally akaashi being perfect, as usual.

“you really like him huh?” he turned to you raising an eyebrow. he hated the way he had to sound so encouraging as if he ever wanted you to be with someone else. it was something he almost couldn’t stand to see but you deserved to be happy and what kind of bestfriend would he be if he stood in the way of that. “have you been head over heels for him this entire year?” amusement was laced in his voice now, but he wasn’t laughing, none of this was even slightly funny.

“no uhh, i liked someone before but i don’t think he liked me back.” you chuckled awkwardly missing the way konoha scowled.

great, he thought. not only did you like one boy but two and neither of them were him.

wrong — he’s wrong but he doesn’t know that, he doesn’t know how it was him that you liked. but he was your bestfriend. how could you put him in such a position where he probably didn’t want to be in. if he liked you he would’ve obviously said it by now right? there was no way you would risk your friendship with him, the single most important person in the world. it hurt back then but you had to bury those feelings. akaashi always seemed to be there to help with that.

“he didn’t like you back? what an idiot.” konoha snickered. little did they know, you both thought.

“well the past is the past right? why don’t you confess to akaashi? you’ve been talking about him for quite a while now.” as the words tumbled out of his mouth he felt sick to his stomach, but he needed to see you happy, he had to. your wellbeing was far more important than his, if akaashi could make you smile then that’s all he needed to know he was telling you the right thing.

oh.. you were right about konoha not liking you back, you thought. otherwise why would he push you to confess to akaashi. you were being dumb, seriously dumb. this was embarrassing .. did you seriously think all this gushing over akaashi would make your bestfriend realise his feelings for you? that’s right, he doesn’t have feelings for you. otherwise why was he pushing you in the arms of another man.

anyways maybe he was right, maybe you should march up to akaashi instead, he was a great guy and he was sure to treat you right.

“right now?” you cocked your eyebrow, your face whipping to face your bestfriend as your cheeks flushed in nervousness.

“might as well, go on.” he bit back the longing feeling to tell you how much he loved you since the two of you had first met, how he never wanted to see you with akaashi, how he wanted you in his arms more than anything. he was a coward, one who was afraid of ruining your friendship, and he hated himself for it.

“wish me luck.” you took a deep breath before approaching the setter, your bestfriend behind you watching eagle-eyed.

“akaashi?” he looked up at the sound of his name, a smile etching onto his lips the moment he realised it was you. suddenly, you had his full and undivided attention which was not an easy feet to achieve. it was clear to anyone who had two pairs of eyes how much akaashi favoured you, the only other people he really held to the same standard of friendship was his teammates.

“y/n, don’t tell me you didn’t do the homework again.” he chuckled as he pulled out a seat for you to sit on. “what a gentleman.” konoha muttered seeing the twinkle in your expression at his simple action.

“no i— i want to tell you something.” you fiddled with your fingers, you weren’t usually this shy. in fact with akaashi you almost never were. in all honesty in the time you had known him you had been quite snarky, not to say he didn’t like it. maybe that was one of the reasons he had found you so entertaining. many times the setter could be quiet himself, it was always fun having someone different around. much like him and bokuto.

so when your expression changed and your body language shifted awkwardly he definitely picked up on it. especially the way you refused to make eye contact.

“is something wrong? you know y/n if you’ve gotten yourself in any kind of trouble i’m here to help.” he brought your hands in his searching for any clue of your next words in your eyes.

“that’s not it— it’s just that.. akaashi, i like you. and not just as friends but in a romantic way.” you were talking so fast that if he wasn’t listening so attentively he would’ve missed half the words you were saying.

at your confession his eyes shifted to konoha for a split second at the back of the classroom. it was so quick that the silver hair boy hadn’t even realised but keiji had caught the expression on his face. the one of heartbreak and longing. to him, it was obvious how much the two of you liked eachother so he was almost taken aback by this entire ordeal. and why was konoha just watching? why wasn’t he stopping you? to make matters even worse akaashi had feelings for you too, so.. what would his next move be?

“y/n... i’m sorry but i don’t think i can maintain a relationship right now, you know with volleyball and classes it’s ju—“

“it’s okay akaashi.” you cut him off quickly not wanting to hear the next words and feel them sting your chest. “you don’t have to explain yourself.. i— i’m sorry.” you stood up leaving the classroom calmly. no one would even be able to tell that anything was wrong, except your bestfriend of course who was watching with a whole new anger flearing up inside him. of course he couldn’t force akaashi to like you back but the fact that he had pushed you to confess which just resulted in you getting your heart trampled on really made him want to.

“what the hell man?” konoha marched up to him, his hands coming down onto the table with a firm grip. “why did you reject her? it’s obvious that you like her.” he grit his teeth searching the setters face for any remorse.

“you don’t understand.” akaashi’s expression remained the same as usual and it was grinding konoha’s gears. couldn’t he see what he was doing to you?

“there’s nothing to understand—“ he was cut off by keiji’s stoic tone. “she’s your bestfriend right? you should go after her.” he sighed closing his textbook as he moved to walk away.

“don’t say it like that man, don’t pretend she’s not your friend too, doesn’t she matter to you?” konoha grabbed onto the setters sleeve stopping him from leaving.

akaashi can admit, he was shocked by this action, it was obvious how much he liked you but was he really prepared to start a fight over it, much less with his own friend? he was right when he said that konoha didn’t understand. he was right when he said that he liked you but akaashi couldn’t help but think about how selfish it was for him to have you all to himself while your bestfriend loved you. and as much as you pretended you didn’t you loved him back.

“it’s raining outside and she’s going to get a cold if she goes out there, so go after her.” he brushed your bestfriends hand away with a scoff. maybe one day the both of you would get it.

konoha let go turning to the doors which led into the outdoor school courtyard. raining was an understatement. it was pouring right now and he couldn’t help but wonder how you were bearing out here with your school skirt and knee high socks.

“y/n..” he spotted you, head held low in shame, sitting on a bench under the foul weather as if there was nothing but sunshine in the desolate sky. “i didn’t know that would happen-“

“i don’t wanna talk right now.” you sighed bringing yourself to face him.

“i know but you can’t stay out here.” he moved closer allowing himself to drape his jacket over your shoulders. it wouldn’t do much help since you were already drenched but he couldn’t stand the sight of you wallowing in pity. plus whether you cared to acknowledge it or not it was pretty cosy, well it should be considering it was a few sizes too big for you.

first konoha, now akaashi.. you ought to stop falling for guys who don’t share the same feelings you do about them. something about this rejection hurt more than you had expected it too. maybe it’s because you felt the rejection of both of them in akaashi’s words. the realisation that not only one, but two dont like you back. you had never had that heart wrenching moment with konoha but now here it was, even if it wasn’t his words it all hurt the same.

double heartbreak huh? how tragic.

but you could be better than this, you could get over them both.. granted you would need a some time. seeing them during practice all the time probably wouldn’t help but you could power through if you wanted to. there was no point sitting here crying on a bench when the only person here to comfort you was one of the reasons you were hurting so bad.

“i don’t want this.” you slipped off his jacket handing it back to him. “i’m sick of feeling like this i just— i really thought — i don’t even know.. i’m an idiot.” you chuckled bitterly.

“what are you saying? you’re not an idi-“

“i’m sorry konoha but i think — i think i want some time alone.” your words came out shaky and uneven, it was getting harder and harder to keep your composure and even he was noticing it.

“time alone? you’re not in your right mind how long would you even want to be alone for..” he said while trying to shove his jacket back over you but you pulled away every time. he doesn’t even know the affect he has on you huh.. he’s just trying to be a good friend. nothing more. nothing less.

“permanently.” you finally stood, this time you would choose yourself.

and there he stood unmoving, konoha with the most broken expression on his face, if it wasn’t for the rain you would’ve maybe noticed the tear that escaped his eyes. he could barely process the word you had just said as you walked away slowly while he stood there, frozen. he wanted nothing more than to call out to you but his voice was nonexistent, it felt like his windpipe was closing in on him, without you he couldn’t breathe.

while all you could think was of course he didn’t come after me, he doesn’t care that much.. just a friend nothing more nothing less.

when he finally regained his senses the most he could do was fall back onto the bench you once sat on. akaashi that idiot, how could he not see what was right in front of him.. the perfect girl. he gritted his teeth at the thought. akaashi was an idiot.

meanwhile he didn’t notice the setter staring at the whole ordeal through the window proclaiming the same thing about him. why didn’t he just confess his feelings? how could he be so stupid.

and you, so blind to the truth had just cut off the two people who considered your feelings the most.. who was the biggest fool? it was impossible to decide.

[saintobio]

HWJSJEJDQHHQ I'M A MESS RN 😭 MAI MY BELOVED CAMEO & toji has my heart already plsss imagine if mc decided to push thru with the clothing line bc of toji and mai's undying support that would be so cute!!! i hope we could see them more because mc deserves to be surrounded by nice and genuine people too 😌 ps: fawk u gojo 😋💓

Anonymous said

I'm so engrossed in this fic that I genuinely felt the sheer happiness when Toji wanted to talk more about our interests. I kept on thinking that there might be some ulterior motive that's leading the convo but as soon as he widened his eyes and smiled when we shot him w that "forgot you were pushing 40" just made me feel so comforted idek 😭 until a fucking grumpy furby came in and ruined it all 😭 I love how we did that "u see this fucking face? He's satan :D" with gojo though, it felt good ⛈

Anonymous said

toji i am in love with you ‼️ yn leave gojo pls (for now)🙏 and now we seeing some of gojo’s inner turmoil too 👀 he tryna ignore how he starting to feel

just to let you know you’re literally my favorite author on this app bc my lord the amount of DEVELOPMENT we’ve already seen in five chapters, and the way every single character has so much depth. please never stop writing 😭 please take care of yourself too 🙏 you gotta publish a book or something and you can’t do that if you don’t take time for yourself ‼️ thank you for all your efforts and incredible talent 🥰

Anonymous said

Ok so I’m 99% sure Y/N is gonna die at the end and this makes me so sad ):

After this chapter I just want her to get closer to Toji and get the happy ever after she deserves with him and they raise Megumi together. Periodt.

Anonymous said

Yooo this was wild. I’m all for Y/N just packing it up and being w/ Toji. He’s a fine ass dilf who cares about her and her well-being beyond her money and status. But I think that it’s really funny that Sera seems to focus only on what Gojo can do for her in terms of the materialistic sense rather than emotional. So far, he’s only been seen giving her things rather than true affection (Although that could just be because we don’t see both of their POVs that often). Not to mention the fact that Gojo doesn’t seem to love her enough to give up his money and status for her 🙃. Anyway, Gojo and his hoeish ass can go be with his beloved Sera. At this point, I’m shipping Y/N x Toji until further notice.

Anonymous said

ZENIN TOJI COME TAKE YN AWAY TO VENICE'S WEDDING!!!!!!!! DAMN TOJI I LOVE YOU WTF😭🖐️ I LOVE AI-SAN MORE THO😻 LET'S GO RUN AWAY WITH OUR BLESSINGS NAMED MEGUMI, PAPI🧚‍♀️✨ LIVE THAT SOFT DOMESTIC LIFE YOU ALL DESERVE!!!😘🥰🧚‍♀️✨

also.... YN seemed to be... Sick.....

- 🌸anon

Anonymous said

AAAAAAAAAAAAA GODDAMNIT yn does NOT deserve to be treated like this 😭😭 i’m glad she found a friend in Toji, but i’m begging you to give Yn more friends she can rely on 😭😭

Anonymous said

I love love love this series, your writing is beautiful I am in tears.

All I want is for YN to stop caring and Gojo to finally notice exactly how great she is, like everyone else sees.

BUT I hope it’ll be too late because she will already be Tojis. YN will be designing her wedding dress and she will be Megumis new step mom, and she’ll finally be loved softly. Her dad sucks, fuck his business.

@seashellmichellee said

ngl if I were y/n I’d fucking leave Gojo for Toji WLDJAK like???? I stan a gentleman and someone who genuinely cares 😫

Anonymous said

another great but heartbreaking update :”) canon toji is a lil uhh sus BUT SN!Toji is a sweetheart !! Imagine yn discovering what true love is really like w toji :(( he appreciates n loves her sm that he supports her dreams of being a fashion designer !! Toji eases her insecurities AND IS AN AFTERCARE KING, yn builds her own brand outside of her family while gojo and sera end up in the streets where they belong <33 in all honesty we’re in for more angst before any fluff bc you’re the author LOL

Anonymous said

the way toji & y/n need to get together... gojo gotta look at them and be like oh fuck i messed up 💔 anyways toji+mc supremacy <3 thank you for putting it in my fav character! the way you wrote toji & mc’s interactions was SO good and so soft! you can tell toji warmed up to mc and was willing to literally protect her... he could cherish her so much better than gojo ever could 😭😭😭 can’t wait for the next chapter! you always keep us on our toes ILY for that 💗

i am loving the toji brainrot you guys !! i’m glad you liked his introduction <33 i also enjoyed writing the zen’ins i just love them sm ?? :’) i hope toji lessened the angst for this chapter bc we are all fuming at gojo until further notice 😤

[tema-makes-art-sometimes]

rank classic fandom ships!

Classic Fandom Ships huh? Okiiii if I miss any let me know

1. USUK

1-5: negative possible incest out of 5 (quote my friend Lemon)

Do I ship it?: I’d rather get a booster shoot, thanks.

General Feelings: I can’t ship ships when one character raised the other, even if it’s an au where it didn’t happen, knowing that England is a caretaker to him in that way just kills it for me. There’s no way to make having a crush on someone you raised, distant or not, not be weird. No matter what that’s going to come off creepy. Doesn’t even matter if they’re blood related or anything. It’s still the idea of one nation being an adult while the other raised them since they were a little kid. It gives me the same vibe as dating your childhood babysitter. If you want this dynamic, why not try PruEng, DenEng or PortEng, same sunshine x raincloud aesthetic with 0% creepy under tones.

TLDR: You’re just in it for the Cute Jock x Angry Nerd dynamic and it shows.

2. GerIta (Ive already talked about.)

TLDR: If fandom ships were ice cream, GerIta would be vanilla. It’s a base line, it’s fine as it is and some people hate it for that exact reason. I like vanilla, it’s alright.

3. FRUK (Ive already talked about)

TLDR: 11/10 would pirate fight again.

4. Rochu (Ive already talked about)

TLDR: It vibes. It just vibes.

5. Spamano

1-5: -5

Do I ship it?: I’d rather not, thanks.

General Feelings: I just never liked spamano, again the Angry x Sunshine (which isnt what Romano is, but it’s how it’s often written) isn’t really fun to me? I used to hate it cause I don’t like tsundere’s in writing style cause I personally cannot understand them. Like my brain does not register well with aggressive insults being seen as compliments because it’s from X person. But that’s just me, I don’t do that shit I think “tsundere” needs to die. But that’s beside the point.

I don’t like it now for two reasons. One because of the same thing I said with USUK, I’m not comfortable with shipping pairs where one raised the other, no matter what it’s gonna be weird dynamic wise. Two is in my mind the merits of Spain as an older brother or father figure to Romano mean more than him as a love interest. It can create a lot of dynamics that are more fun both between Romano and Spain and Romano and his brother. It creates a situation where one is often in the position the other wanted. 

Vene having more money and general social support, but often having to play along in cherry high class situations which makes a lot of his relations, especially with Austria, feel kind of hallow. While Romano was more poor and seen as low class and crass, but he has much more honest and deep relationships with the small group of people he cares for. it creates situations where the brothers can envy one another and I dont know. I just like it better than leaving Romano with only something like Rome and letting Vene have Hungary and Austria.

TLDR: Let Romano have a father figure please he’s earned it.

6. PruAus

1-5: -2

Do I ship it?: No

General Feelings: If you like Prussia with someone slightly uptight and orderly, why not just use England instead? Their personalities work better together cause at least then he gets a partner that understands him being a feral punk gremlin. I’m biased in this regard I don’t like Austria as a character so take with a grain of salt. But I never cared for the dynamic. The only PruAus thing I ever liked with bubblyernie’s ask art school prussia blog, and that’s it. It feels like the rivalry dynamic but it doesn’t get to the fun part for me, but again I also get that I have a bias.

TLDR: Meh.

7. PruHun

1-5: 5

Do I ship it?: Y e s

General Feelings: I just like the idea of them being strong feral gremlins on horseback together. Powerful generals, good friends, just the idea of excited forest heathens on adventures. I don’t know, it’s just fun. If not romantic they would be ride or die friends and I cannot be convinced otherwise.

TLDR: 10/10 would feral gremlin in the woods again.

8. AusHun

1-5: -2

Do I ship it?: No

General Feelings:I never liked cause I always saw Hungary change around Austria versus other people, especially Prussia. Plus they’re canonly divorced. I’m not an expert on Hungary, but I just don’t care for it. There’s better ships. Though again, I am biased.

TLDR: Let them stay divorced, Hungary deserves better,

9. PruCan

1-5: 0

Do I ship it?: Nah

General Feelings: Nothing really to say on PruCan, I just see them as friends and ship them with other people. They’d be good gaming friends tho absolutely 110% catch those two raiding together. They’re gaming nerd buddies and I can respect that.

10. SuFin

1-5: -3

Do I ship it?: Fuck No.

General Feelings: I really don’t. I just don’t like it. I know mainline ship but I just- Every time I want to talk about the Nordics it comes up. I’m not well versed in Nordics. But every single time I try to talk about Finland, or any of the nordics. BUT ESPECIALLY FINLAND, it devolves into how Sweden plays into it, or how SuFin plays into it. Like I cannot talk about Finland without him being treated as Sweden’s accessory and it infuriates me. Let Finland be his own god damn character and then maybe I’ll like SuFin cause he’s never given his time to shine without having it feed into someone else.

TLDR: Finland is no one’s wife, fuck off.

11. DenNor

1-5: 0

Do I ship it?: Nah

General Feelings: Again, I never knew much about the Nordics, but the basic of the ship when I first saw it was ‘haha Norway chokes Denmark with his tie what a tsun-tsun hur hur’, which makes me really uncomfortable... as someone who doesn’t vibe with abuse=romantic feelings. I like NorFin myself, and Denmark is a ball of sunshine. I don’t hate it but it’s not really good.

TLDR: Why was the tie choking thing seen as funny/romantic? Am I missing something??

12. RusAme

1-5: 4

Do I ship it?: Sure

General Feelings: While it’s not my immediate first pick romance wise, I thoroughly enjoy all the RusAme there is out there. If not lovers, I still see them as ride or die friends. Because they’re both freakishly strong I feel like they’re the only ones who can really cut loose and use their full strength on one another even in the most small ways and it means the world to them that they can do that. No holding back just full open honesty with each other. Also the fact that it’s canon that people think they hate each other and they’re just like ‘nah man we pals’ is fucking great.

TLDR: Rock on you funky space lads.

[laurensxox]

for the honesty hour asks, i’m gonna go with send something funny and headcanons for any hazbin ship lmao i’m up late and it’s a routine where i’m super hyper😂

Presenting... My sleep deprived self!

Lmfao, anyways, at first I thought I should just comvbine those two you know. Funny headcanons. But I couldn't think of any funny headcanons rn so I decided to just share one of my funny experiences lol

The experience is at the bottom in the cut!

P.S it's currently 6 am as I am writing this and I haven't slept yet so if some of then doesn't make any sense, I blame insomnia

Radiodust Headcanons

💋 The first time Angel found out about how Alastor sleeps (eyes open and standing up in the dark), he got a mini heart attack and screamed bloody murder. Ever since then, Angel insists that Alastor lays down with him and most of the time, Angel is the big spoon because Alastor still sleeps with his eyes open and the glow of his eyes is too bright to sleep facing him.

🎙 Alastor started seeing Angel as a potential friend when he once found him stuck on a fence (Idk what it is with deers and fences), helped him, and didn't tell anyone about it. He got teased by the spider a lot tho.

💋 Angel can't dance. He can do freelance and slow dances just fine but dances like Swing? He's a lost cause. He tried to dance Swing with Alastor once and it just ended up with their legs tangled and falling hard on the floor with Alastor's shadow just laughing hysterically at them.

I do also headcanon that Angel can dance really well and that he will probably surprise Alastor by showing him that he can dance Swing smoothly

🎙 Angel and Alastor love to do their own little musical numbers on the hotel rooftop where no one can interrupt them and have their own cheesy intimate moments where they can just dance, sing, and whisper loving messages to each other. At one point, Angel managed to convinced Alastor to sing, dance, and act out the whole "Can I Have This Dance?" scene from High School Musical 3 where he is Gabriella and Alastor is Troy.

💋 Speaking of dancing, the crew found out that they were together because they caught the two slow dancing in the ballroom and just generally being happy and sappy together

🎙I closetedly headcanon Alastor as Peryton so on special occasions or on days where they just really need to be away from everyone and just be in the wind, Alastor will manifest his wings, carry Angel, and fly around for a bit.

💋 They don't notice it but there are times when Angel and Alastor acts all parent-like with Charlie, especially when she's upset. Alastor will try to cheer her up by making goofy dad-jokes and exaggerating stories while Angel will probably either cook her favorite food or make hot chocolates. Vaggie definitely sees all of this.

🎙 After they got very comfortable in their dating status, Angel will be the 2nd person to be allowed to touch Alastor without permission. Niffty is first.

💋 Moving out? Alastor definitely manifested a Bayou in Hell and his very own cabin house in it, that's where they'll live. It's a win-win as Alastor will be in his territory where he is strongest and Angel will be away from the catcalls and people who only wants him or sees him as a sex object. Just him, Alastor, and Fat Nuggets at peace in a Cabin House in their own Bayou

🎙In any case that Alastor's mother is in Hell as well, she will definitely approve of Angel. Maybe not at first due to his background but as time goes on, she'll see how much the spider demon makes her little faon happy and eventually, she'll approve of him. Anything to keep her son happy.

Alright! Time for Allen storytime 😂

So I discovered Hazbin Hotel through a friend back in 2019 and I was in 12th grade by then! And instantly, INSTANTLY, my heart was like welp, you're simping for a serial killer overlord deer demon now, good luck! 😂

And me, itching to write, started to write little fics about Alastor already. I begun to learn these little phrases and slang from the 1920s to help me and most of them are now stuck in my head.

Why do I tell you all those? Well, here's the reason!

There was this one time when I stayed up late due to me being hyperfixated with watching and listening to as much Roaring Twenties connected videos on Youtube for as much as I could. The next morning, I fell asleep in the middle of my Religious Classes. My substitute teacher noticed and whacked me on the head with a rolled up booklet. Me, still sleepy, didn't realize it was the teacher and just blurted "Look, I'm already so behind the eight ball right now and in desperate need of some sleep so PLEASE, get out of my face before I take my imaginary bean-shooter and just bop ya right now, ya broad"

Then I fell back asleep 😂 they didn't wake me up when the bell rang so I missed lunch. I, of course, tried to apologies but the teacher forgave me. She said she actually understood the slangs and then we just spent my study hour discussing 1920s slangs.

i know it's not really that funny but I do find it funny because according to my classmates, they have never seen a sub teacher look so confused yet so impressive with someone.

[excitedlysuffering]

OMGOMGOMG possibly Kakashi head-cannon collection? He is the love of my life (lmao don’t tell my bf that)

Your secrets safe with me he’s my love too😂

Kakashi Headcanons Collection

What He Looks For In A S/O~

• A reader, they don’t have to read Icha Icha (bonus points if you did) but someone who appreciates a good book

• Someone laid back and not very high maintenance

• I see him wanting a shinobi S/O cause he needs them to be to take care of themselves or he’ll worry too much

• he’ll worry anyways

• Someone who understands his pain and won’t shy away from him when he’s going through a rough patch

• Someone who is good with words, like say something sweet and he’s metlinggg

• A person with considerate personality traits

• He would like an S/O who’s willing to try new things and adventures

• Someone who would take things slowly

• Someone who could honestly make him laugh

• He’s DadKashi he’s going to want someone good with kids

• To be frank, he would probably want a relatively stable S/O so that in his mind there’s no chance of them ending up like his father

• He wants companionship so someone who’s not distant and who wouldn’t mind him being around all the time

• I really can’t see him with a tsundere S/O, he needs to see that his partner loves him as much as he loves them

Relationship With Kashi Stuff~

• Please do domestic stuff (Sending him off to work with a kiss, a note in his lunchbox, kissing him when he gets home) he will be near tears every time

• TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK™ (whether it’s kicking butt, making dinner, or teaching (raising) Team 7)

• You probably won’t notice moving in with each other until you look up like ‘holy crap I haven’t been to my apartment in like 2 weeks?’

• Read with him or read to him, and you will have his HEART

• He’s not clingy per se, but he loves to be in your presence whenever he can

• Will take you out on dates once a week EVERY WEEK (Sorry Tsunade-sama, I have a date then, but I’ll leave right after?)

• Dating Kakashi means you’re now honorary rivals with Gai (who knows Kashi better, who can make him laugh most etc.)

• Pick up line wars 24/7, the loser has to do the other’s chores Kakashi wins

• Okay, but Kakashi never had a childhood, so make a list of everything he never got to do and you slowly complete them together

• He’s such a sweetheart like, surprise, he’s so sensitive

• Get’s so flustered seeing you in his clothes, he temporarily shuts down

• He’s given up trying to take back his mask whenever you’re wearing it

• Okay, we all know this silver-haired hottie is suave, but he is SMOOTH, he will 100% find ways to have you blush whenever possible, he is the CEO of leaving you hot and bothered

• Made you your own area in the Hokage office as a hint that he needed your company

• Has never forgotten an important date (he uses his Sharingan on the calendar)

• He’s fought demons and other crazy villains, but will still be terrified of you on your period (he’s brave tho he’ll just bring a lot of peace offerings)

• He heard you refer to him as DadKashi in front of Team 7 and/or your friends and just about loses his mind

• When you first see his face without his mask you’re probably pissed cuz WHY would he hide that beauty from the world?! it’s for the greater good hun

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• Being insensitive/ignorant about things like loss or mental illness

• Constantly distracting him from his duties or hobbies

• Being rude or uncompassionate

• Being willing to abandon people or being self-centered you SCUM

• He always makes time for you, so he’d be a bit bothered if they didn’t put forth any effort to spend time with him

• Little pranks are harmless, but things that make him scared for your wellbeing or stealing his mask are big fat NO

• Being reckless just because, being a shinobi is already dangerous with would you play with death like that??

• Being lazy, Kakashi at his core is really something of a go-go-go person, he doesn’t want to just do anything all the time

Soft Kakashi Things~

• Kakashi is such a softie omg

• He likes to fall asleep last just so he can tell you how much he loves you and you saved him while you’re asleep

• If you’re having a bad day, he’ll drop everything (if possible) to hold you and be there for you in every way you need

• Definitely has Sai draw a small pic of you so he can carry it around and/or put in the Hokage office

• Mission dates are a thing like imagine flirting with Kakashi while destroying your opponents (so romantic)

• He’s big on practical gifts. If he notices you’re running low on shuriken? Expect a box of them from him

• He’ll read a particular *wild* Icha Icha quote to you just to make you flustered (bonus points for him if you’re in public)

• His students question you all the time like how did you end up with their lonely, pervy sensei?

• Will sweep you off your feet for no reason other than he likes to hold you and carry you

Random Kashi Facts~

• Kakashi’s love language is words of affirmation like he craves hearing that you love him and the like

• He hums and sings around the house or whenever he’s bored or preoccupied

• After having eating fish out of necessity day after day he prefers not eating it if possible

• He will often fall asleep a good while after he actually lays down because he enjoys debriefing himself of everything that happened during the day

• Actually sleeps really deep when he’s next to you, otherwise, the smallest sound can wake him up

• He likes to put notes or letters from you in his Icha Icha books so he can read them whenever and no one will peak cuz ew, Icha Icha

• In all honesty, Gai is a common factor in why he’s so late everywhere, but it’s mostly him walking around and taking in the sights like a nostalgic old man

• In the episode where Sakura and Naruto transformed into kids and called Kashi and old man, giving him an identity crisis is actually common. His hair color and the fact that you can’t see his face make some kids think he’s old

• Sometimes when he can’t sleep he’ll find a random tree and fall asleep in it (he’s a strange one)

• He lost his newest Icha Icha book when he was Hokage and very nearly (thanks to Shikamaru) called a citywide search party

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Your temple, it feels really intimate to him and he’s so tall it’s an easy place for him

• Way to hug- Kakashi loves those giant bear hugs where he just envelopes you like you’re basically one with him now

•’Thing to do with you- He really loves reading with you, whether it’s the same book, or you’re just both sitting next to each other reading

• Type of date- Although your most common date is a mission date (lol), his favorite is being able to take you to a nice restaurant and then on a walk around the city

This or That:

• He’s a winter person actually, he loves being cuddled up with you and blankets, and the abundance of hot drinks

• He’s a morning person because he’s been waking up early since he was a child, and doesn’t really know how to enjoy sleeping anymore (but if that wasn’t the case he’d be a night owl)

• Loves both cooking for you and being cooked for he puts Bobby Flay to shame honestly

• He spends all his time reading obviously and if his S/O is a writer or he’ll be soooo excited and will read everything they put out

Conflict Happenings~

• He knows disagreements are a normal part of relationships (in moderation of course) so if there was a real problem, he wouldn’t shy away from it

• He won’t raise his voice or take a tone with you, he doesn’t feel the need to, but he will definitely get his point across

• To his fault, he might throw in a slight or cutting remark here and there but he will regret it the second your expression changes

• He’s a real go with the flow kind of guy so if he realizes that something is his fault, he will correct it ASAP

• If he notices you’re getting really worked up, he’ll just hug you until you calm down and can speak coherently but at that point it’s like ‘what was I mad about??’

• If his S/O is headstrong it’ll probably bring that side out in him, even if temporarily

• If it’s a minor disagreement he’ll probably say something funny to diffuse the situation

• He would rather die than argue in public, to him it’s a private thing and he hates causing a scene

Modern Kashi~

• I can see him as more of a club/extracurricular activities leader than a teacher

• He’s really close to those kids in his group and probably sheds a few proud DadKashi tears at their graduation

• That one fine teacher that all the students are thirsting over

• If not a teacher he’d probably be an elite CIA agent or a higher ranking FBI officer

• He has so many dogs like he sees a stray and how could he possibly give them up??

• He’d probably walk around Playboy Magazines just cause he can

• At one point he dyed his hair black cause he thought it’d look more ‘normal’ but he HATED it

• He likes plants but he’s so bad at taking care of them?? He can remember all of his dogs’ names and their food preferences but can’t remember to water a plant

• His house is so clean he’s been doing all his household chores since he was a child

• He definitely met Gai in elementary school and they never parted, even going on to become college roommates never again

• Gai probably barges in Kakashi’s classroom so often he’s most likely considered the co-leader/teacher

• Kakashi has definitely gotten drunk on school nights before but he’s such an in-control drunk no one ever noticed

• Kakashi was my first Naruto love and my first husband. BACK OFF

Masterlist

[sankyeom]

𝟷, 𝟸, 𝟹 (𝚜𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚊𝚍𝚎) // 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗

𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍'𝚜 𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚖𝚢!𝚓𝚊𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚡 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚑!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚓𝚊𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚜𝚑𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚘𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎. (𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝟷, 𝟸, 𝟹 𝚋𝚢 𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖)

𝟷, 𝟸, 𝟹 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 // 𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 // 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝

“You can’t leave me here alone,” Jaemin practically begged Hyerin outside of the media room after school before his interview. His eyes were wide and anxious, and Hyerin couldn’t help but grin at her best friend.

“You’ll be fine, Nana,” Hyerin promises him. “Seriously. Y/n is really nice and she’s a really good editor. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried about Y/n,” Jaemin retorted. “What about me? What if I embarrass myself in front of her?” he stressed, slumping against the door of the media room.

“Jaemin,” Hyerin began, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You are definitely going to be embarrassing yourself,” she informed him, causing Jaemin to narrow his eyes at her.

“This whole pep talk thing,” Jaemin said, motioning vaguely over to her. “Is not your forte.”

Jeno laughed at this. “You’re overthinking this,” he assured Jaemin. “It’s an interview. Just be yourself and you’ll be fine. You’re supposed to be the charming one in the group, remember?”

“Well it’s not like the bar was very high to start with,” Jaemin mentioned, causing Jeno to sigh.

“Open the door,” he begged Hyerin. She grinned, twisting the knob and causing Jaemin to stumble backwards into the media room.

This would have been funny if you and Jinyoung hadn’t been conversing by the door, and if Jaemin hadn’t knocked Jinyoung to the ground as he fell inside. “Jinyoung!” Hyerin exclaimed in surprise, helping your best friend up.

“I’m fine,” he assured you, getting up and not-so-subtly glaring at Jaemin.

“Uh,” Jaemin began dumbly. “Sorry about that.”

Jinyoung only hummed, greeting Jeno and Hyerin with large smiles before going off to the computer used for layout. Jaemin scanned the room for your familiar face, butterflies erupting in his stomach due to his nerves.

“Oh my god Eric, stop,” the sound of your voice caused Jaemin, Jeno and Hyerin to glance over at you. You had your face buried in your hands as you stared at Eric with a blank expression. “I’m not letting you break into the principal’s office to steal the files on how much water they use for the football field,” you said with a frown.

“You’re mean and you have no consideration for my journalistic integrity,” Eric retorted instantly.

“Look, I want to expose the school as much as you do. But I also really need you to not be kicked out of school.”

“Why’s that?”

“Let’s see: we’re friends and I want you to graduate, I’d be down a writer when I’m already understaffed, and your Mum would kill me,” you listed off, just as you noticed Jaemin, Jeno and Hyerin standing nearby. “Oh, hi guys!” you greeted, happy to have the distraction. When you met Jaemin’s eyes, he couldn’t help but flush. “You must be Jaemin. Are you ready to get started?”

“Um, yes. I think so,” he confirmed with a nod.

You smiled. “Great! Hyerin, Hyunjin is finishing up with Yonghee soon so you can get ready to take his pictures.”

Hyerin saluted. “Is it okay if Jeno sits in?” she asked.

You looked her boyfriend up and down, as if to establish whether he was threatening or not. Then, you shrugged. “Sure,” you agreed. “As long as you let my favourite photographer to her work then I don’t care,” you added, sending the two of them over to Hyunjin.

You noticed that Jaemin seemed to look scared standing all alone. “You can take a seat,” you told him, motioning to take the seat opposite you at one of the desks in the media room. Jaemin complied, putting his backpack on the floor and sitting down. “So. How long have you been dancing?” you jumped right into the interview.

“Ah,” Jaemin thought. “About five or six years now? I started in middle school.”

You nodded, writing down his answer. “What do you like about dance?”

“I’m good at it,” Jaemin admitted. His honesty caused you to quirk a small smile. “I don’t mean that I’m the best or anything. It’s just the only thing that I’ve ever been good at without having to try too hard,” he amended his answer.

“I get it,” you assured him. “What made you decide to go for the captain position?” you questioned.

“Well, originally I wasn’t going to,” Jaemin confessed. “There were other really promising dancers like Jinyoung and Hyunjin who I thought would be better for the job, but I decided to go for it because it’s been something that I wanted for a long time.” he smiled nervously, waiting for you to respond.

As gently as you could, you put your pen down and cleared your throat. “Jaemin,” you told him carefully. “I don’t mean to be rude but… your answers don’t sound that sincere,” you had to admit.

“Oh,” Jaemin replied, not knowing what else to say.”

“I know you’re probably nervous, but this is an opportunity for people to get to know you more intimately,” you explained to him. “Our dance team has ranked first at nationals for two years in a row now. This school really cares about the team. And the captain is important,” you reminded. “It would help if you could just view this as a conversation between friends. Maybe that way, you can be a little more open and vulnerable.”

“Okay,” Jaemin agreed. “Yeah. Totally. I get it.”

“Okay. So, what made you decide to go for the captain position?” you repeated your question.

Jaemin thought it over. “I started dancing during a pretty rough time for me. I had lost my best friend and my parents had lost really good friends of theirs as a result, too. Without my best friend, I felt like I was nothing. Dancing was the only thing that allowed me to really express my feelings. All those feelings of sorrow and hurt and guilt were difficult to express because I was the one who had it easy,” Jaemin explained. “My best friend was going through a difficult time, and he was the only person I ever really confided in. So I trained all my energy on dance and it just… it made all the difference. I want to be able to help others like that, too. My dance teacher in middle school practically made me into the person I am today and I’d like to emulate that.” Jaemin could feel his palms sweating with how open he was being with you; he was spilling his greatest truths to his crush of all people.

You gave him a smile he could only describe as breathtaking. “Excellent. Do you have a particular vision for the team?”

“Well, thank you so much for doing this,” you told Jaemin almost an hour later. The interview had gone really well, and you were definitely starting to see why everybody in school liked Jaemin so much. He was charming, but not necessarily in a flirtatious way. Rather, he had a sort of air about him that made him equally kind, attractive, and likeable.

It was hard to remind yourself that he was your best friend’s enemy.

“Yeah, of course,” Jaemin nodded. “Besides, this was really fun.”

“Really?” you asked, surprised. “Me pestering you with questions for the paper was actually fun?”

Jaemin laughed. “It was,” he confirmed. “I don’t know. It’s just nice to spend time with you.”

The compliment caught you off guard, and you didn’t know what to reply with so you stuck with a simple smile. “Well, Hyerin can take your portrait now if you’re ready.”

“Cool,” Jaemin agreed. “Um, can I ask you something?” he added.

“Sure,”  you shrugged.

“Would you mind if I keep your number?” he asked, cheeks flushing red in mild embarrassment.

Your mouth dropped open slightly, surprised at the question. “Oh. Um, sure. Why not.” you agreed.

“And… can I use it sometime?” Jaemin added. “Maybe to see if we can hang out?”

You bit your bottom lip. “Um,” you began, stalling because you weren’t sure what to say. “I… I-“ you looked around to see if Jinyoung was in the room. When you saw that he wasn’t, you turned back to Jaemin. “Okay,” you agreed. “I’d really like that.”

she do be sneaking around behind jinyoung’s back tho

[sluttyten]

Okay speaking of boobs I have a weird question. I’m a virgin (so I’m not too knowledgeable about sexuality but I know enough) and I’m bi. I have a friend. We’ve been friends since middle school and are now 21 year olds. He’s gay tho. So just for some background~~

im so open about my boobs bc I was flat chested until I was 16 so now I’m just v happy w them. I’ve let my friends (including guy friends) see my boobs a few times. like if I needed an opinion on a nude or smth lol it all started when I sent 1 to the gc while tipsy and since then we just had no real boundary w that I guess. my friends are all either very progressive heteros or queer. But my one gay friend who is definitely into guys and has never expressed interest in girls (actually sometimes seems repulsed by vag) really likes my boobs. Like the most out of everyone. so sometimes he’s just like “can I see them” ? Or when he texted me and said he’s having a bad day and I joked saying I’ll snapchat him a boob pic and he seriously asked me to...so I’m just ? It’s become almost a normal part of our friendship over the past 8 months. Even in person. I’ve allowed him to touch my boobs (once without clothes and he was just really into it but it’s usually with clothing). Idk what he’s doing with the mental images or if he gets off or if this is just a platonic thing of his but whenever I joke and say he’s acting like a straight man he gets weird.

The last incident was almost a month ago. And I remember cus I got in an argument with the girl I’m currently talking to romantically about it. I cut down on it bc I really like this girl and even tho I am single I want to be respectful of her feelings. (I mean I might be offended if I knew ppl were touching her boobs so I want to consider her feelings). Anyways my friend had accidentally hit me in the chest lmao and I told him I was sore (on my cycle) and he said he’d massage them and he was serious but I said no. Bc idk that seemed too intimate. But when I brought it up to my “partner” she said that she didn’t find it funny and he seemed to be using me in a way. Which I never really looked at it that way bc he’s not attracted to women. Yeah this was all over the place I hope you don’t mind 😂

My question is like I don’t want to be -phobic by assuming his sexuality just based on that but also it’s effecting me lol and I’m fine with the whole thing if there was more like honesty and direction. but at the same time I don’t wanna be someone’s like hidden fetish or kink. The more I ask myself how I feel about it the more I’m like hmmm idk what he’s struggling with but it’s making our friendship awkward. I asked my other friend who’s a gay male the same thing and he found it extremely off putting. Which I kinda regret telling him bc I feel like he’s judging him a bit too much like it’s not something that’s a big deal bc he’s not pressuring or making me uncomfortable like I’ve been completely okay with it and it’s usually fun up until this point. I’m gonna look into it some more tho to figure out how to approach him about it.

I think your friend might not be as gay as he thinks he is if he likes your boobs so much, he might be no and struggling to come to terms with that or something

[holylulusworld]

Past

Summary: Dean finds his perfect mate, only for her to run away from him. When Sam calls her after their last encounter she needs to decide to let her mate die or come to his rescue.

Request: May I request an ABO fic where Dean finds his perfect Omega but she rejects his advances at every turn until he triggers her heat with his rut making him her true mate and even when she's claimed she rejects him for a bit making him go feral until Sam snaps her out of her fear? (you can make up why she's scared). love you, hun!

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam x Omega!Sarah Blake, vamps

Warnings: angst, unrequited feelings, true mates, ABO, ABO dynamics, mentions of abusive past/sexual assault/non-con claiming, physical and mental abuse (nothing graphic)

A/N: Omega!Sarah Blake is the Sarah Blake from the show, but in a different role

Runaway Mate Masterlist

Funny how your past is catching up with you, tries to break you with little reminders.

While you watch Dean sit in his car to wait for his brother you let your eyes wander over it. He had a classic car too, but it didn’t look like Dean’s. 

It was dirty, rusty and you hated to sit in it but seeing the Impala made you think of him and you felt pain shoot through the scar at your neck.

You know it’s impossible, you know there is no way he can be here, can go after you but still, your heart is racing. 

With shaking fingers, you dial Sarah’s number to hear a familiar voice but for the first time, she doesn’t answer.

Dialing her number again you get up from the steps in front of your room and Dean is alerted. Your heart beats fast enough to jump out of your chest as you dial her number for the third time.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Shaking you look at Dean as he gets out of the car to run toward you. “Y/N, talk to me, Sweetheart.”

“I…we have an emergency signal or rather we always answer our phone, no matter what we do at the third signal, Dean. I dialed her number three times, but Sarah does not answer.” 

Your voice trembles and for the first time, Dean can see the vulnerable and scared Omega shine through. 

“Okay, tell me where she wanted to go to. We will check there first and Sam can try to trace her phone.” Dean runs toward his car, dialing his brothers’ number as you try to reach your friend once again.

Black…everything is black before the pain wakes Sam from the darkness. He can smell blood, dirt, and fear as he tries to blink his eyes open.

“You’re awake…” Coughing a young woman looks at him, fighting the shackles holding her to the ground. 

“You’re a hunter too, I assume, just like the girl over there. She told me to remain calm, but they knocked her out as she refused to tell them anything about someone called Y/N.”

Sam’s eyes wander toward Sarah. He can see blood running down her forehead, but she’s breathing. 

While the skilled hunter scans the room he recognizes two things, his shackles will not hold him for long and the girl looking at Sarah’s bleeding wound is a vampire.

“She told you…” Sam’s eyes are trained on your friend to make sure she’s still breathing.

While the vampire studies Sam’s stoic face the hunter tries fumble with the shackles, already picking the lock holding the chains.

“The hunter, she’s right. You should remain calm and we will find a way out of here.”

“I am so scared.” The vamp’s eyes dart between Sam and Sarah. She knows the moment your friend wakes up she will warn the way stronger hunter and Winchesters are know for not dying that easily. “What can we do?”

“Do you know what they want and who they are?” While the vamp looks at Sarah once again Sam let the chains around his hand slip off his wrists to silently place them behind his back. His feet are still bound but if must, he can take the vamp down.

“I don’t know anything, Sir. They came in here, hit the girl and asked her about the other woman. She refused to answer and then they left.”

Sniffling the vampire looks at Sam. She plays her role well, Sam gives her that, but he is not an easy victim to her sob story. 

“Was that before or after they brought me here?” Searching the girl's face Sam fumbles the syringe with the blood of the dead out of his back pocket. “What’s your name?”

Maggie and it was before they brought you here. She was out cold when two large guys dragged you in and dropped you.” Nodding Sam waits for the perfect moment.

“How long are you here?” While the vamp looks at Sarah steering in her sleep Sam strikes. The syringe bores into the girl’s neck and she screams in pain.

“Hey…are you wake?” Watching your friend Sam frantically searches for the key to his chains. “I am a hunter too. My name is Sam, Sam Winchester and I know Y/N. We met during a hunt.” 

“Sammy doesn’t answer his phone…” Slamming his hands onto the steering wheel Dean curses. “This is not a coincident, Y/N. Sam and your friend disappearing at the same time in the same town.”

“I am sorry, Dean. I guess she found me before I had the chance to take her down.” Blinking a few times, you look out of the window. “Or rather them…”

“Them…” Glancing at you Dean stops the car. “What are you not telling me, Y/N? I know you are after mama for a reason but so far, I didn’t ask. If Sam is in danger, I need to know everything.”

“You know I can’t tell about my past, it’s better this way. No one ever wanted to hear my side of the story. For everyone, I was an aggressive Omega not wanting to submit.” Voice bitter you dial Sarah’s number once again. “Every Alpha chose their side…”

“Well, I am not every Alpha not even close.” Giving you a soft smile Dean looks at you. 

“Listen, I know you don’t want to talk about what happened to you. I would never force you to tell me. I have a huge package I carry with me too, Sweetheart, but we are running out of time here.”

“Mama…she’s…” Looking at Dean you search his soft eyes. “I would need to explain everything, but this would take us hours and as you said, we are running out of time, Dean.”

“Just the highlights then. You can leave everything out we do not need to save Sam and your friend, Y/N.” You hesitate, nibble at your lower lip as Dean starts the engine. “Fine, Y/N. I’ll tell you something about me first.”

Dean’s grip on the steering wheel tightens as he starts talking. “I sold my soul to save my brother. I was in hell for 40 years and one day, I broke and started to torture souls too. When I came back I had nightmares, I still have sometimes…”

Surprised by Dean’s honesty you look at him, really look at him and you can see the broken boy behind the tough hunter façade. 

“I lost everyone, Y/N. Mom, Dad, Bobby - anyone I ever liked died or left me except for Sammy, and he just doesn’t know better…” Huffing you try to swallow the lump in your throat as you look at anything but Dean. 

“At the beginning, I thought it’s my fate as an Omega. I believed that I just need to get used to that someone rules my life, tells me what to do or leave but slowly, I doubted being an Omega means what my life became.”

Dean’s heart clenches in his chest hearing the hurting in your voice. He wants to say something, wants to soothe the pain but he knows you are not ready to let him help you.

“All I can tell you is that one night, he tried to kill me, and I fought him. It ended badly…for him.” Your face is stoic, but your voice betrays you. 

“I get it, Y/N. He was a monster but what I don’t understand is that you hate all Alpha’s only as one treated you badly. This is no excuse for his behavior or what he did to you, tho…” 

Dean dials Sam’s number again, still ending on his brother’s mailbox he tosses the phone into the glove department.

“One Alpha…” Laughing bitterly you glance at Dean. “It started with my brother and father selling me to this monster. Or rather making a deal to rise in the ranks.”

“Y/N…” Gasping Dean tries to remain calm but the anger welling up is untamable. “I am so sorry.”

“I trusted them with my life. Till that day, they protected me, made sure no one ever hurts me. My father, he never treated my mother like she’s not equal as she’s an Omega and then one day…”

Snapping your fingers you look at Dean. “Poof, the gentle and caring family was gone.”

“I…” Voice cracking Dean blinks the tears away. 

“At first, he was nice. Asking me about hobbies and shit but then he…” Sniffling you look away. Rather concentrate on the trees passing by than Dean’s sad face. “He forced his mark on my neck and everything else too…”

“Omega…” A low whine leaves Dean’s lips as he gives you side-glances. He can see the tremble of your hands and the pain tightening your chest.

“When he was done, he left for days or weeks and I prayed he won’t come back. Every. Single. Time.” Dean’s eyes drift toward you occasionally while you keep on talking. “One night, he…he crossed another line, or rather wanted to and I lashed out.”

“I won’t ask what he tried to do…”

“I was able to avoid getting pregnant and he assumed, I am infertile, Dean. That night he brought a young girl into our home or rather my prison. I saw the fear in her eyes and just knew, he would force her too…” 

Sniffling you wipe the tears away. “I tried to call the cops, told them what my Alpha is about to do but…” Laughing bitterly you shrug. 

“None of the Alpha’s believed you,” Dean asks and you shake your head.

“Oh, they believed me, Dean. But they laughed about me and congratulated my Alpha on his decision to get a younger mate.”

“Bastards…” Slamming his hands onto the steering wheel Dean curses. “They should’ve stormed the house. I would’ve done so…”

“I hung up and felt his hands on me. I…I reacted instinctively and pushed him away for the first time, I found the strength to fight back, because of the girl I had to protect. He tried to strangle me, but I was faster.”

There’s a hint of pride in your voice and Dean smirks as you tell him you ran into the kitchen and stabbed him with the cheese knife.

“He ended like a tiny mouse. Begged for his life, Dean and I knew he wasn’t the powerful Alpha I thought he was.” 

“What has mama to do with all of this?” Your eyes meet Dean’s and you know you must tell him everything to save your friend.

“She’s his mother. Her grief about the loss of her perfect Alpha son and the hatred she always harbored toward me forced her to look for a way to kill me.” 

Your features darken as you look at the world outside passing by. “I wasn’t the young and vulnerable eighteen years old girl they threw into the lion’s den. I am a strong and trained hunter, Dean. I killed two of her pack members when they tried to get hold of me.”

“And she did what?” 

“I was not easy to take down, so she thought making her pack stronger would stop me, would bring me down but…” Smirking you give Dean a wink. 

“I was a hunter and knew how to take vamps down. Mama tries to create a new and larger family, but I won’t give her the chance to do so. I will hunt her and every single member of her sick family down.”

“Why did she turn the girl if she supported her son’s abuse?”

“Mama, or rather Delilah believed I lied. I tried to tell her more than once that her son is a monster but she didn’t listen. Mama is after me believing I killed her gentle and caring son.” 

“I will open the door and we will have to fight our way through. I think someone called mama is after us as she wants to get hold of your friend.”

“Mama…shit.” Sarah tries to follow Sam but she still feels dizzy and needs to press her body against the wall. When Sam wants to help she flinches away. “I can follow you, Sam.”

“I didn’t want to cross a line. I just wanted to help you. You’re injured, stay behind me no matter what. A friend of Y/N is a friend of the Winchesters…” Sam silently opens the door only to step into a sewer.

“You are a friend of Y/N?” Not believing Sam your friend eyes him suspiciously. 

“I said she’s a friend, not Y/N sees me as one. I know she has problems trusting Alpha’s, but right now we need to help each other and find my brother and your friend. Dean is with Y/N and I hope he’s on his way as I assume we are running into a whole nest of vamps without any weapon…”

Runaway Mate Tags

@webcraft4eveh, @supernatural3002

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx, @screechingartisancashbailiff, @fallen-wolf22, @sister-winchesters99, @mogaruke, @the-is13, @helloitsmeamie203, @sandlee44, @strayrosesbloom, @notyourtypicalrose, @thewinchesterco, @marvelfansworld @hobby27, @gh0stgurl, @flamencodiva, @jay-and-dean, @voltage-my2dlove, @spnhollis, @chonisberonica, @wittysunflower, @supernaturalenchanted, @shikshinkwon, @yolobloggers, @hhiggs, @laxe-from-outer-space, @ilovefanfic86, @linki-locks11, @eggingamazinglove, @trumpettay, @fandom-imagines1, @thenamelesschibi, @waywardbaby, @straycuties9, @drakelover78, @stuckys-whore, @zxph-yr, @i-love-superhero, @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt, @deepmuffinspymaker, @katsav17, @heyitscam99, @fandom-princess-forevermore, @neii3n, @exo-nova, @cocklesbelli, @echoesofpassion, @lauravic, @shatteredabby, @deanmonandnegansbitch, @sea040561, @lemondropirwin, @lonewolf471, @wronglanemendes, @juniorhuntersam, @helpmeluci, @goodgodimaweirdperson, @shadowkat-83, @alltimesamantha, @officialmarvelwhore, @meganywinchester, @miraclesoflove, @maniacproffesor, @hollymac79, @kayla-2000, @gracefultrenchcoat494, @babygirls-fav, @spnwoman, @amiquette, @alexoloughlinlover32, @geekofmanyforms, @jessica-marsh09, @spnficgirl, @shut-themoonscone, @thequeenreaders, @countrygal17a, @atomicfandombomb, @kteelou, @soryuwifeyxx, @defenderrosetyler, @shortwinchester, @maybesomedaygayyyy, @tmiships4life, @sabascio, @that-place-called-middle-earth, @the-broken-angel-13, @bunnybaby89, @pandabiiissh, @maddiedott, @lilulo-12, @theoneandonlymelol, @mblaqgi, @clawsandshotguns, @justsomedreaming​, @cassiopeia-barrow, @its-the-timey-wimey-winchesters​, @mscarter213​, @jo-like-josette​, @mep6811​, @prettydeaneyes​, @rvgrsbrns​, @deanwanddamons​, @tearsforhan​, @skittlebittz​, @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel​ @belovedcherry​

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

@spnfamily-j2​, @supernatural-bellawinchester​, @negans-lucille-tblr​, @deans-baby-momma​, @thefaithfulwriter​, @squirrelnotsam​, @roonyxx​, @neerness​, @deansgirl-1968​, @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​, @butifulsoul125​, @lyinginthegingerlocks​, @20gayneen​, @janicho88​, @woodworthti666​, @thevelvetseries​, @dreaminemz​, @akshi8278​, @midnightsilver16830​, @mrspeacem1nusone​, @ria132love​, @caligraphee​, @the-witch-in-silence​, @justanotherwinchester​, @multisuperfandom​, @jason-todd-squad​, @jadesupernatural​, @psychicforest​, @luciathewinchestergirl​, @magssteenkamp​, @palefiregiver​, @tranquility-or-chaos​, @jxackles​, @michellemxndes​, @addictedtofictionalcharacters​, @gabifernandessn​, @waywardrose13​

[oikaw-ugh]

HI BABE I SAW YOUR POST FOR FUJITA AND OMG I WANT TO KNOW THE REST TOOOOOO OK NEXT NUMBER IS NUMBER 2 >:) HIT ME

HSJSJSISJSIAKAKA I'M GRINNING RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE I'M SUCH A NERD FR HUHUHUHU

Also, halo, Pilar! @ineedselfcontrol-helpme BKSSJSJ I'M GLAD YOU ARE INTERESTED OF MY OCs too 🥺

Number 2: JUNKO

Full name

Arai Junko (Breath of Darkness)

Preferred name/nickname

Junko

Generally referred to as

The feminist HAHAHHAHAHA

Warning: mention of abuse

Appearance

Sex: Female

Height: 5'2"

Weight: Somewhere around 50-60 kilos hehe

Build: She's not fat, she's not thin either. Just right :')

Hair: She used to have a long silky hair that reaches up to her waist (like Fujita's) but she hated how men like her hair so she cut it into uneven layers and ties her hair now.

Skin: She has smooth and pale skin tone but ever since she became a slayer, her complexion became fair with all the sunlight.

Eyes: Her eyes are deep brown in color. Fujita used to mock her for being 'alive but dead' with how dull-looking her eyes are.

Mouth: Not too thin but not too full.

Hands: They are slim and long. A fact she likes because it is like her sister's.

Feet: Average

Scars: She got two lashes on her cheeks from her sister's abusive husband.

Other features: None.

Noteable features: Whenever she unties her hair, Fujita is in awe with how beautiful Junko actually looks with her hair down.

Voice

Accent: None

Verbal Ticks: None

Language: Let’s assume they speak Nihonggo.

Articulation: She kind of share the same vocabulary with Fujita as she also came from a wealthy family.

Laughter: Her voice is surprisingly low so whenever she laughed, everyone gets scared as it feels like listening to a huge man laugh.

Grump: She mutters under heart breath whenever she sees or hears something so sexist.

Breathing: She makes this cute 'Mmm' when responding to question. She mumbles most of the time which creeps Fujita.

Mannerism

Face: She always has this (o_o) face all the time and it sometimes creeps people who personally don't know her. Good thing Maria is always there to reassure everyone that that's just how Junko looks. She also space out a lot, too.

Hands: She likes to play with her fingers when she's spacing out.

Legs/Feet: She likes to tap them relentlessly on the floor as if she's anxious.

Habits: She always run her fingers on her hair. She checks whether if it's already too long for her liking.

Posture: Kind of slouching. She used to be as poised as Fujita but she learned that men like delicate women so no.

Walking posture: She walks delicately, though.

Sitting posture: She slouches which ticks Fujita off but she couldn't care less.

Personal space: She's fine. She can handle hugs or people who are close to her AS LONG AS THEY ARE NOT A DUDE. I'm sorry. She just hates them.

Spacial awareness: She doesn't like bothering people so she's very wary of her surroundings yk what I mean?

Personal

Introvert/Extrovert: An introvert. Even when she still stays with his father, she's mostly quiet and her only friend was her sister.

Optimist/Pessimist: In between? She's kind of hopeful since she's with her friends but also pessimist as she fears things might not go according to what she'd hope.

Gender: Female

Sexuality: She's straight. But that does not mean she's interested with men.

Romantic: She's never been in love and I think will never be. Oh wait, she's in love with her niece ✨

Memory: SHE HAS A SHARP MEMORY. That would explain her hatred towards men.

Planning: In her most private daydreams, she planned on settling down with Amida, Fujita, and Maria if they all decide to retire.

Pensive: She doesn't regret anything that she's done. But if it's something about her friends, she'd overthink of it.

Intuition: She knows she's good at making decisions. If she isn't, she wouldn't be with her friends.

Goals: To keep her friends and her sister and her niece safe.

Insecurities: None. It used to be her scars but she realized that would kind of scare men away so she loves it.

Achievements: She's been told her whole life she'd only be successful if she settles down with a successful man. Her achievement was when she was able to stand up against her sister's abusive husband.

Anxiety: She hates men but truth to be told, their stares still make her anxious

Overwhelmed: When she visited her pregnant sister only to see her mistreated and in a poor condition.

Self-help: When she has internal conflicts, she thoroughly thinks of it. If it's too overwhelming for her, she asks for Maria, Fujita, and Amida's opinion because their different viewpoints gives her a clearer picture.

Comforts: Her sister's cooking, Maria's cooking, Fujita's 'funny' remarks and Amida actually rebutting against Fujita.

Philosophy: Men are trash.

Triggers: Men

The Past

Parents/Guardians: Her mother died even before she could open her eyes so she and her sister lived together with their sexist father. He has always told them that they would only be successful if they get to marry a successful man.

Her sister is her only friend. She learned kindness and gentleness from her sister. When her sister was bound to marry someone she didn't knew, her sister suggested the two of them run away. In the end, this suggestion wasn't pushed because her sister was afraid of their father.

School: No. But she was pampered well by her household.

Adolescence: She had the greatest adolescence! She actually grew very pretty! Hence, why men are all over her.

Leaving home: Was meaningful to her. It meant that she finally is able to stand up against her father. Leaving home was like freedom.

Further education:

Life events: When she didn't receive letters from her sister after her marriage, she grew worried and decided to visit her, only to see her wounded physically and pregnant. This got her fuming mad and she lashed out against her brother-in-law. He was drunk and was trying to violate her but she fought back, making her brother-in-law angry, breaking the bottle of alcohol just so he could hit her face, giving her scars.

Junko grew angrier with what he has done (WHO WOULDN'T THO WHEN YOU JUST WOUNDED THEM EYE-) He was about to go near her once again when Maria, who was on her way to another mission, heard of the commotion outside.

Worst day of their life: When she gave her brother-in-law the chance to hurt her and her sister and when she did not stand up against her father regarding her sister's marriage.

Lessons: Men are not to be trusted and she is not an object.

The Relationships

Family: The moment she left her household, her father is no longer part of her family. The only ones she considers as family are her sister and her baby, Amida, Fujita, and Maria.

As for Amida, at first she hated him. But when she knew of what happened to him, she kind of relaxed and accepted him.

Friendships: She's basically a loner her entire life and her only friends are her sister, Fujita, Maria, and Amida.

Friends in need: She'd be willing to help them. Be it as little as Fujita looking for her shoe or Maria chopping the firewood.

Annoyance: When in an argument, she's usually composed. But when you say something that offends her (like, this is why women should...), she'd actually scream at you.

Romance: She dislikes the thought. She hates the thought of being tied down with a man. Though if this man actually drinks his respect juice, she might - might - accept him

Marital problems: She was almost bound to marry someone.

Adversaries: -

Enemies: Men. And demons.

Strangers: She's gentle as long as you are not a dude.

Fun stuff: She loves visiting her sister along with her baby! She also likes it when she and the gang are on a stand by and they're just having fun.

Dating: None

Best friend: Amida, Maria, and Fujita

Love: Her friends, her sister and her niece.

Respect: She respects her friends, her sister, and women in general.

Interactions

Mingling: At first, people are wary of her. But if they get to know her, they'd grow fond of her because she's a sweet bean! (That is if you're not a guy)

Comfort levels: She's comfortable talking to women but men? She's out.

Physical: She low key likes it when Maria or her sister caress her hair. Exclude Fujita, though. That bitch does not even know how to gently pat your head.

Group: She's fine with mingling in groups as long as you're not a guy

Jealous: She's jealous of no one.

Temper: LONG. How did you think she survived her father if she didn't have one?

Empathy: She emphatize to those who are wounded. So when she learned about Amida's state before becoming a slayer, she grew soft.

Affectionate: Lowkey motherly-like. She'd ask if you are hurt, or are you hungry or thirsty. She'd listen to you ramble and she wouldn't mind you wasting her time.

Distaste: When she hates someone, she'd tell it straight to their face since she hates beating around the bush.

Responsibility: She feels like it's her responsibility to keep her sister and her friends safe.

Self-esteem: Normal. Not too high to the point she's arrogant but not too low to the point she'd shy away. But if we're talking about Junko who was still living with her father, she has a very low esteem.

Honesty: She's very honest to her friends and sister. Unlike Fujita, she wouldn't hesitate telling her deepest secrets to Maria. But on Amida's case, it took a while for her to relax around him and to befriend him.

Leader or follower: A follower. She follows wherever her friends are.

Praise: She hates praises. It reminds her of the feeling of how men aggressively praised her from the past because of her beauty. Praises make her feel like she's an object.

Criticism: She accepts them and she works on them.

Insults: She takes them lightly but if it came from a man, please prepare your ass for her breathing form.

Embarrassment: She's embarassed when she's seen doing something out of character. Like, when Fujita caught her trying to plant, she blushed as if it was taboo for her to plant.

Flirting: No. :)

Attention span: She's very attentive when it comes to her friends and sister. She remembers the smallest detail and she never forgets the things her friends tell her no matter how random they could be.

---

I know no one asked but I have 4 OCs from Demon Slayer universe and I'd love to create this with them but I'm confused on which OC do I make one first.

So pick a number between 1 and 4 :) (2 and 4 are out-)