#incorrect maria hill quotes

[incorrectwandanat]

peter, in tears: i saw you with natasha yesterday, holding hands.

reader: it's not what it looks like-

peter: YOU SAID YOU LOVED HER!

reader: BECAUSE I'M DATING HER!

peter: no best-friend-feelings?

reader: no, just love love. like i’m married to her type of love.

peter: ok...i’m still your best friend?

reader: yeah, course.

peter and reader hugging:

natasha, pepper, wanda and maria watching from the kitchen: what the-

[esmerxyaugusta]

[ maria coming back from a mission ]

nat: are you okay? are you hurt?

maria: *shaking her head* but i think i need sleep

nat: what, why? we have a date tonight *pouts*

maria: blood loss

nat: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T INJURED

maria: i mean my period, vagina blood loss

[manhattanminute2]

Avengers reactions to being called straight:

Carol: The fuck, no I'm not.

Maria Hill: Excuse the hell out of you?

Valkyrie: Ding dong, you are wrong!

Wanda: Who told you that? And why did they lie?

Kate: Rude.

Natasha: *punches the person*

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Natasha: My mother can't come to the wedding. She was at a yoga retreat, and she fell out of a warrior pose and broke her hip.

Maria: Should we consider the possibility that someone pushed her?

Natasha: Maria, please.

Natasha: They were a bunch of peace-loving hippies who spent two weeks in the rainforest with my mother.

Maria:

Natasha: Of course someone pushed her.

[gingiesworld]

Y/N: I'm a little teapot

Yelena: Short and stout.

Wanda: Who let those two drink?

Y/N: Here is my handle

Yelena: Here is my spout

Nat: I needed entertainment. This party is boring.

Y/N and Yelena: Tip me over and pour me out.

Maria: It's a movie night Nat, not a party

Nat: Tell me you aren't entertained.

[mamaspidershit]

Peter: Why do you look like that? Natasha, laying face-first on the floor: Like what? Peter: Like you’re dead. Natasha: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish. Clint: Natasha accidentally called Maria “babe” in front of everyone today. Natasha: *sobs into the floor*

[scarlettblip]

Natasha: can you imagine if a centipede wore flip flops? They’d be so loud

Maria: are you drunk?

Natasha: no

Maria: that’s what concerns me

[incorectquoteswlw]

Yelena: Do you like my top?

Maria: Yeah, she seems nice

Yelena: What

Nat: What

Kate: (:

[fandomnerd9602]

Maria grabs Y/N as they come back from an Avengers assignment…

Maria: you are not doing that again

Y/N: yes ma’am

Maria: I am going to take you back to our bedroom and screw you til you see stars

Y/N: (sarcastic) oh work work work

Maria giggles and pulls Y/N off somewhere private…

[marvelsdc22]

Y/N: "I'm the real Y/N!"

Y/N Clone: "No, I'm the real Y/N!"

Maria: "Who are we shooting?"

Natasha: "There's only one way to tell... What is 7 x 4?"

Y/N Clone: "28!"

Natasha*Shooting the clone*: "Wrong answer"

Maria: "What? 7 x 4 is 28"

Natasha: "Yeah, but Y/N does the little finger thing"

Y/N*Counting on their fingers*: "28!"

[loislame84]

*coming back empty handed from a stakeout*

Maria: why is it always you two?

Kate: I’m my defense… I was left unsupervised.

Maria: Yelena was with you the whole time.

Yelena: in my defense… I am just one person and she kept staring at my ass the whole time. You left us unsupervised. This is on you.

Kate: in support of her defense… you are the one who gave us these new tactical suits.

Maria: get out of my office.

[teaaagan]

Dive

*Maria and Y/N enter a dive bar*

Maria: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink?

Y/N, in a scuba diving suit: I would like to leave, please. 

[slither-in-gryffindor]

Natasha: What are you studying?

Maria: Commerce degree, but accounting and accounting technologies

Natasha: Nice. So it's safe to say you're good with numbers?

Maria: Not sure if I'm good with them but I like them

Natasha: If that's the case, would you like mine?

Maria: 

[checkingoutforheroes]

It hurts.

Natasha: It is clean. I cleaned it already.

Y/n: Oh really? You’re saying these aren’t muds? 

Natasha: I clean the other boots I guess. In my defends, it was dark that time.

Y/n: Why didn’t you switch on the light then? 

Natasha wraps her arms around you from behind and kisses your neck: Because you are the light of my life. I don’t need any switch.

Y/n: You’re cute. Just admit it, it’s okay. I’m not mad. Just admit that you want me to clean your boots. I’m happy to do it for you and Yelena. 

Natasha: No need to do it for Yelena. She’s a grown woman. 

Y/n chuckle: And yet you are my baby. She’s your sister Nat, my family too. 

Natasha: Can’t wait to know if the procedure are working. We’re having our own little family, love. 

Y/n: Nat...

Natasha: I promise I will take care and protect of our family. Even if something happen, I will make sure Yelena will watch over you and our kid. She have to. 

Y/n’s tears starts falling: Don’t say that! You going to be fine. You always are. You always come home after mission and I’ll be waiting for you. Doesn’t matter how long, be a week, months, years. 

Yelena from far: Y/n?

Y/n: I’ll be waiting for you, to come home. 

Yelena: Y/n..

Y/n: You come home.

Yelena, switch on another lights, to acknowledge her present. She knows Y/n is having another episode and sadly can’t do anything to help her sister in-law except for support: Y/n. 

Y/n, back to reality: Yelena. You, do you need something? You hungry? I can help reheat the leftover for you. 

Yelena, sat next to Y/n: No Y/n, I’m not hungry, thank you. What are you doing? 

Y/n, try to smile: Oh, I just cleaning Natasha’s boots. Always gets dirty after her missions and she’s too lazy to clean it herself. 

Yelena: Y/n.. 

Y/n: Yeah? 

Yelena: That’s my boot. Oh Y/n... 

Y/n looking at the boot and starts breaking and Yelena hugs immediately: I miss her. I miss her so much, it hurts! It hurt Yelena... I lost everyone. I lost her, I can’t find Wanda. I lost Maria too. Please don’t go anywhere Yelena. I don’t want to lose you too. 

Yelena: Shhhh It’s okay sestra. I’ll keep my promise. It’s okay. I’m with you. I’m not going anywhere.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Maria: Do you see anything?

Y/N: Just trees. And some bushes… and two squirrels wrestling!

Maria: … Y/N…

Y/N: Yeah?

Maria: They’re not wrestling…

Y/N: …Oh…

[mamaspidershit]

Maria: Uhh.. Peter just asked if we want to… Maria: “Fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?” Natasha, not even looking up from her phone: He's asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees. Maria: Oh, that makes more sense.