#incorrect quotes but they actually happened

[miwiromantics]

Nancy teaching mike how to drive: Okay mike, you're driving and you see Steve and Will on the road; what do you hit? Mike: Steve, definitely, I would never hurt Will Nancy: Nancy: The brakes, Michael, you hit the brakes

[detroit39incorrectquotes]

In the Interrogation Room

Connor: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.

Connor: *cuts piece of cake*

Suspect: ...Can I have some?

Connor: Cake is for talkers.

[miyatalksshit]

my grandpa: tells me a story about how he shoplifted a pricey as fuck cooling glasses in the 50s

me: whoa whoa whoa whoa, wait a second, how the fuck-

[delzinrowe]

incorrect jjk quotes [8/?]

[nerdynuala]

Taking the first steps of my not-so-slow but definitely steady descent into a new hyperfixation fandom

[freddie-77-ao3]

Annabeth: Percy annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow. Grover: But there's nothing special about tomorrow? Annabeth: But there is something special about watching the colour leave his face as panic takes over.

[l3viat8an]

*Games night in Levi’s room*

Mammon: Damn this game is crazy!

MC: Crazy?

MC & Levi:*In perfect sync* I was crazy once, they locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with with rats, and rats make me crazy, crazy? I was crazy once, they locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with with rats, and rats make me crazy, crazy?-

Mammon: What the fuck is wrong with you two????

[emolionsrawr]

gerrard: buckley, what in the devils name are you doing?

buck, with a clipboard in hand: well, gerrard, i was going over everything in the firehouse and i noticed some things

gerrard: what is it buckley?

buck: well, you sir are in violation of the sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression discrimination act, over the past week i've noticed you refer to henretta wilson with slurs, very offensive slurs, as well as myself, due to this myself and mrs wilson have made note of each time you've done this, and reported it to our head HR representative, this here *hands gerrard a piece of paper* is a letter from the chief, requesting your presence for a meeting about your retirement

gerrard: you fucking fa-

bobby: i'd be careful if i was you gerrard, and get out of MY firehouse

gerrard: *screws up the paper and leaves*

chimney: see i told you all we needed to do was set clipboard buck on his ass

hen: look i know i'm a lesbian, but buck has never looked so good before

buck: i am the defender of lesbians!!

[your-royal-momoness]

Zuko: I’m asking for permission to date your brother

Katara: what is this? The dark ages? You know what, since you asked, no, you can’t. Beat me in a duel.

[dawnthefox24]

Vincent: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration* Rody: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Vincent: *feels his face heat up*I— Vincent: *looks away from Rody clearing his throat a bit*I don’t know the correct answer to that question, and please don't ever say that again Rody...

[incorrect-league-of-villains]

Tomura: Fuck off, old man.

All for One: I'm not that old. How old do you think I am?

Tomura: The last number.

[miyatalksshit]

my class: *has a free period and sits in a circle to play truth or dare*

classmate #1: *spins a pencil to pick a person*

*lands on classmate #2*

classmate #3: your turn classmate #2

classmate #2: okay, truth ig

classmates: *look at me and my friend* y'all ask him

me: okay

friend: what should we ask him???

me: lemme think-

classmates: quick, 3, 2, 1-

me: what'stheweirdestthingthatyoudidbutnevertoldaboutit

classmate #2: what???

me: what's the weirdest thing that you did but never told anyone about it

classmate #2: *w his hand in his head* i sometimes go on ff.net to read things

me: lmao you aren't the only one

classmate #2: *embarrassment noises*

~

classmate #5: it's my turn huh

classmates: who would you date in the guys in the class?

classmate #5: the new guy cause i don't know anything about him

classmates: oooh

some guy classmate: lmao what about us? don't pick #2, he's taken

classmate #5: he wasn't even one of my choices

everyone: OOOOOH

me: lmao he's mid at best

classmate #2: offended noises

~

me: it's finally my turn huh

classmate #2 and other students who were really embarrassed cause of my question: FINALLY WE CAN TAKE REVENGE

me: uhhhh

classmate #2: what're your kinks

me: eXCUSE ME?

classmate #2: FUCK YOU, YOU MAKE ME SPILL, NOW IT'S YOUR TURN

me: I AM VANILLA OKAY, STFU

classmates who heard me joke about sex scenes in books, ask about the rating of the game, joke about kinks and fetishes: *doubtful gazes*

me: *offended noises*

friend #2: ask her if she has a piss kink-

me: i cAN'T BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU-

~

me: woooow, i can't believe they asked me about kinks

friend: uhh, i am not sure if you're vanilla

me: friendship w you ended, friendship w friend 3 unlocked *moves from my current place to a beside my friend #3*

friend: okay okay okay, come back now and stop being dramatic

~

*extra*

my classmate: *sings 'heart will go on' by Celine Dior while looking like he wants to die and w horrible voice cracks cause of a dare as he either had to sing in the break or in physics class*

[elgascreamslikehell]

Eddie: You need to move on. I have

Buck: *moves on*

Eddie:

[caslutz]

Ted Lasso Text Posts: Part #10 (RJK version)

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

[nimrism]

merlin: i challenge you to an arm wrestle!

arthur: oh, you're ON!

merlin:

arthur:

merlin:

arthur: you're just... holding my hand?

[il-predestinato]

MAX: Okay, that’s it. 😡🤬 Whoever just crashed in Monaco qualifying is going to be -

CHARLES: It was me.

MAX: …forgiven because everyone makes mistakes.