#instead of these life-changing events they've all just gone through

[elaemae]

The premium version of human is here to wreak house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 4

PREVIOUS CHP.: PROLOGUE 3

Thank you guys for the likes, reblogs and comments.

Also, to the people who became my followers, I'll be forever grateful for that😊

CW: When MC gets mistaken as a guy, they get referred to as he/him, but the problem is that there's too many males around the MC.

So, I've decided to color the pronouns blue when it's MC that's being addressed. Just to avoid confusion.

CLARIFICATION: The headmaster, and MC knows that Yuu is from another world, so MC decided to play along and pretend that they're from the same world as Yuu. (The human world where MC came from is mostly similar to the human world that Yuu describes. i.e. landmarks, cultural, knowledge, current trends, anime and manga are all mostly the same.)

REMEMBER: Read this before the chapter.

Experience changes people.

If you see MC doing something you think you won't do and you decide to complain about it, remember this:

• You act the way you do because of the things that you've gone through in your life.

• MC is the same.

• They experienced a lot of traumatic events and almost lost their lives a fuck-ton of times.

• Because of that, they've changed. They've diverged from being you into the MC that they are now.

• The life you're living now shall be treated as the MC's canonical past.

• Also, because The Obey Me!cast feels bad from all the times you suffered and almost died because of them, they tend to overcompensate you.

• You get dressed in the finest of fabrics, most luxurious jewels, as well as housed and fed with the best things that the three realms have to offer.

• You don't take them for granted, but years of living with that lifestyle had raised your standards to new heights and changed the way that you act towards certain things.

• You're free to make up your own head canons if you don't like mine, also y'all can give me feedback if you want so I can improve my work.

• This story will be set a few years after the canon of the Obey Me games.

• • • • •

Who would've thought that it would be a bad idea to try to trick someone who literally reeks of luxury to live in an old, bout-to-fall-apart dormitory?

Well, certainly not Crowley.

That fact became known when 'The shady looking dorm leader™' and also, the tablet decided to tag along with you, Yuu and Crowley, but then had to help Yuu in holding you back so that you wouldn't beat the ever living crap out of the headmaster the moment he dared to bring y'all in front of this rustic establishment and say "It had charm". (Too many You's)

Oh really? really?? Oh you'll see real charm when I beat you straight into the afterlife you greasy son of a bitc–

*Ehem*

It did not end well.

So instead of that, the headmaster had to temporarily put you and your fellow stranded-in-dis-school-human into the infirmary as your temporary abode and promised to fix the shoddy dorm so that it can safely house people in it. (Grim will appear in the future, dw)

*Que Azul tryna make you stay in Octavinelle and you vehemently declining that offer.*

Also, you're starting to get creeped-out by the floating tablet that keeps following you around and won't stop with taking pictures. there's also the small maniacal giggles coming out of the device.

• • • • • •

So there you two are, two people that've been kidnapped by this school's fuckin carriage are now bonding in the infirmary and distracting each other by venting about problems back home. (You two are too wary to be able to sleep properly.)

Like, yes Yuu, I'm in a polyamorous with more than a dozen problematic individuals.

Yes, it works out. somehow

Damn, three assignments due tomorrow all from the same subject? Have you ever tried cheating off of your classmates?

Oh— wait what?! a classmate from biology was caught fucking with a professor in a classroom!? Seriously??

No, I unfortunately no longer have a grasp on the concept of private space and poverty.

Yes, maintaining a relationship with a lot of people at the same time can be hard.

A lot of them are rich.

Wait, a seatmate of yours really gave two free expensive sketch pads just because you asked?? Where can I find that person??

Yes they all act like my sugar daddies and my man-children in one way or another.

No, don't you dare pimp yourself out, okay? There may be a lot of people in my life but the important thing is that we all love each other.

We support, comfort, protect, and guide each other to the best we can.

No— that didn't happen in a day, I had to bend over backwards and almost die a shit-ton of times before I managed to wiggle myself firmly into the hearts of those fuckers.

...Q- Questions about our sex life will be automatically ignored.

Just.. be nice to others, even if it's seemingly stupid.

Unless they are absolute scum then just maintain distance.

You just gotta eyeball it to figure out when to stop being nice to someone.

Never and I mean NEVER treat anyone badly unless they did something unforgivable to you.

Don't call me kind. It's easier to have a grasp on other people if you're nice.

Pft— You once saw a book called "How to be a sugar baby 101" in the school library?! And you saw your principal reading it?!

Sure-sure, I'll help you with your math homework— wait a second.. Seriously?? We've been kidnapped, I ain't allowing you to do math. Where the hell did you even hide that thick-as-fuck test sheet anyways?? Up your ass?!

• • • •

You sigh for the third time this hour, looking at Yuu who's making a "Mom.. I threw up in the carpet... I'm sowwy🥺" expression as they stand beside your bed.

"What happened?"

Yuu winced, feeling embarrassed as they hear you talk to them like a disappointed parent, they had failed to appeal to Crowley about becoming a temporary student of this school and now had to be a janitor/errand kid.

"The headmaster said that I'll be the handy-man of the campus while he searches for a way to get us home..."

You feel a vein in your head throb and your eye start to twitch by of the sheer audacity being shown in front of your face.

You are now feeling the immense urge to hex that bird-bitch.

Satan sat straight in his seat, speaking out to the others in the meeting table.

"I can feel irritation and the urge to curse someone again." He said.

It would've been funny if this was another situation.

"That's definitely from MC, isn't it? You mentioned being half-asleep and feeling MC get agitated through your pact mark, right?" Diavolo asked.

"Yes, at least our pacts are still intact..." Satan nodded.

"Great, we can use this to monitor MC even if they're far away." Lucifer stated.

Countless search-parties and interrogations have already been conducted, but they're still clueless on where you can be or who could've taken you.

Even Barbatos couldn't see what had happened.

They're starting to get agitated, MC..

• • • • •

Jade watched as Azul frantically drafts and redrafts a new plan of his.

It seems that something caught the eye of their housewarden in the ceremony today.

"What could be so eye-catching that you're in such a hurry to obtain it, Azul?" Jade couldn't contain his curiosity and asked.

"It's a new student, Jade." Azul started.

"He possesses such a large amount of magical artifacts in his hands, It's unbelievable! They were all high quality too!"

Jade blinks.

"Don't you have enough magical artifacts around?"

Jade is confusion.

"You don't know it because you weren't there." Azul narrowed his eyes at Jade.

"I first thought those jewelry of his were similar to the ones that you can buy with enough money in annual auctions, but then I realized that it's very likely that those jewelry are customized."

"...How so?"

"So I decided to try and take a closer look, but when I actually got closer and almost touched one of them, I felt a strong thrum of magic that I haven't felt before!"

Oh?

Now that got Jade's attention.

Azul has been exposed to a lot of strong, powerful people and magical artifacts over the years that he and his twin were following this dormleader of theirs and yet there was actually an artifact so strong that he can feel strong waves of magic by just almost touching it?

How curious..... If the magic of the artifact was so strong, why didn't Azul sense it up until he literally almost held it in his hands?

Seems like this year won't be boring, after all..

• • • • •

BONUS: Someone has a crush.

"Brother, Your package has arrived— What are you... Are you making fan art of Mr. [L/n]...?"

Idia screams like a dumb girl in a horror movie as he tries to block the screen with his body.

"O-ORTHO?! WH-WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KNOCKING FIRST??!"

"And... what's with the pose?"

Ortho tilts head innocently, confused on why his brother is drawing a new student in a pose that can often be seen on videos that are called "Thirst traps". he's still confused about why they're called that way.

Idia: "O- ORTHO THIS ISN'T ANYTHING BAD I SWEARAHGJSI—"

*Starts to fuckin steam*

"brOTHER YOU'RE BURNING THE CHAIR!"

"AH CRAP!"

← Pr.3 | Chapter List | Pr. 5 →

Don't forget to like, comment and reblog guys, It's a big help :3

What do y'all think of the chapter? pls respond, I need feedback🥺

I woke up today and decided to kick canon's ass.

Elae: Thanks for reading this far.☺️

See y'all next time~

Next chapter: Prologue 5

@f0urleafedcl0ver

@a-traveling-void-human

@speckle-meow-meow

@leviathans-tail-scales

@citrus-cinnamon

@prefesro

[spider-jaysart]

Okay soooo fun mash up idea that I've created recently, which is DC crosses over with The last of us part 1! (But the game version though with some parts of the show included)

So it would be like this:

Joel: Bruce (for many obvious reasons, like for example being the old grumpy, cold man who grows into the Father figure role once warming up to the kid that changes a part of his life, causing him to become more of a softy)

Tommy: Dick (the one who eventually became tired of Bruce's bull and went his own ways in the future, but reconciled after reuniting with him in their next meeting)

Sarah: Kid!Jason (the innocent kid who didn't deserve to die)

Ellie: Damian (has her attitude, stubbornness, fearless determination, shameless cussing, loyalty, humorous side but in his own way, artistic side, and stabbing skills, so he fits perfectly well. It would also be interesting that him and Bruce have no idea they're related to eachother at all, so they don't bond because of known shared blood, only because of the many things they've been through together that brang them closer overtime to being like a Father and Son, and then they find out this secret about themselves much, much later after the end of their very long journey)

Riley: Maya (not a love interest like in the game and show, but just the first good friend and a trusted sister figure to Damian who knew things well)

Tess: Diana (A well trusted and respected partner for Bruce in work)

Maria: Starfire as Dick's wife

Sam: Jon (shares that innocent vibe with Sam and just like him with Ellie, he'd be quick to want to befriend Damian and see him as the cool older kid he'd like to impress)

Henry: Kon (is young just like him and is just trying his best to keep his baby bro safe the way he believes is best, since he is the only one who can now)

Marlene: Amal (Talia's only known friend in comics, so she fits as Marlene who used to be close friends with Ellie's Mom and made the promise to always watch over Ellie for her, so here she does that for Talia with Damian)

David: Joker (both a total weird, creep that can secretly hide who they truly are whenever they felt like it for their own benefits and then reveal their horrible sides and true intentions by surprise)

Bill: Lucious Fox (because he makes Bruce's gadgets and vehicles in canon and since Bill has a skill of doing just that for himself and gives Joel a new gadget and also a needed car, he is fitted enough for the role in this way)

And then for some small details and also additional things that help make the au stand out a little more differently:

Chris will be included with Jon and Kon here just to have all the Superbros together

Mar'i and Jake exist here but are really young twins (6 years old)

When things were still normal, Bruce was married to Talia here and they both were raising Kid!Jason together. They both got separated during the event of the outbreak and never found eachother again after that

Instead of 20 years of the apocalypse, it's 14 years here instead, because Talia was already pregnant with Damian when things began going wild

Damian will be immune just like Ellie (well obviously loll), but just for a little bit of play, it's cause it actually has to do with mixed Lazarus blood in his body that saved him, which comes from a small, strange part of his brain that keeps creating and pumping it out into his veins. This was naturally passed down from Ra's always over using the pits so much for years, causing the body inside to develop and grow in becoming much stronger and different in unique ways. And Lazarus pits are gone now, so Damian is like the only source that holds it in him as the possibe cure of the world

Unlike Ellie's Mom, Talia survived the birth of Damian and lived until he was 7 after saving him from an attack in a herd of infected that they were both trying to outrun. Damian stayed always feeling heavily guilty about it ever since and blames himself, even though how it happened wasn't actually his fault (still kind of debating on this one just a little bit for small reasons though)

Jon won't be 8 like Sam from the show, he will be around his canon age from the game instead. He will also be Damian's first love instead in this au and they will both have crushes on eachother

Instead of the games original cities and other places as settings, things are set in Gotham and other known DC cities Instead

Instead of a switchblade, Damian was left with a dagger from Talia, and all collected comics in his backpack from his adventure are mangas. He also carries around old special photos of Talia and him to remember and cherishes them very much, since that's all he has left of her besides her dagger

All characters wear their own versions of the tlou outfits to fit their style better instead of just using the existing ones

One of the things Damian would never want is to get killed by a bloater the most, because they actually just kill kids with only a slap instead of tearing up their jaws like the adults, so he would feel SO humiliated if it ever happened to him too (based on how this actually happens to Ellie in the game whenever she gets caught by them because she's underage loll, which makes the bloaters look like a bully to children)

Despite killing in this au having to be done against all kinds of enemies in order to survive, Bruce never feels comfortable with it, but he does what he has to. He also has sympathy for all the infected people, usually seeing them more as victims who didn't ask to become what they are now instead of just harmful, angry creatures, but knows he can't be pity them too much, cause at the end of the day it's either him or them during encounters. He also tries taking the pacifist route whenever he sees he has the chance to in a situation where confrontations aren't actually nesscarry, allowing him to flee without notice instead, and during stealth he will choke human enemies in a way that he knows will only make them pass out and not die

Annnd I think that's probably it for now!

I also have a lot of drawings from this au that I really wanna make and also put out soon heheh and I'm also working on Damian outfits that replaces all of Ellie's, which I'm almost done with!! And if anyone maybe has questions for the au btw, feel free to ask anything!

@pin-crusher2000 @camo-wolf @paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 @dunkinsthings

[20001541]

there was a time where I got into an argument with someone who believed the purpose of chapter 407 was to show that AFO was born evil and though the circumstances in his childhood were tragic he still was a lost cause from the very beginning. they believed that he was shown to us as an example of someone who is too far gone to be saved. and why did they think that? they told me it's because the story has not taken any measures to reach out to him as with the other villains.

and it is interesting isn't it? afo has one of the most horrifying and tragic backstory in the manga and yet we do not see anyone making an effort to try to understand him. he is only seen as a threat to be eliminated.

and while I wouldn't mind this sort of attitude if it were in any other series, bnha has shown us multiple times of heroes reaching out to those who got left behind by society and took their wrath out on everyone as a result. so the fact that afo who was screwed over by life from the very moment he was born does not seem to get this same grace extended to him sticks out to me. it is one thing to dismiss him as being too evil, but if you're going to show me in explicit detail about all the tragic events that were out of his control that happened to him as a child then I would expect there for more to be done with that.

now you could make the argument that afo could've been saved as a child but now it is too late to change his mind. I would've agreed with that if it were not for the fact that we are shown his own humanity throughout the story. we know he feels some guilt when faced with the vestiges of the peoples whose quirks he stole in his sleep and he's able to feel fear as he had nightmares about his first fight with all might. his own main goal is to have the worlds eyes upon him because he wants to be noticed after a lifetime of being ignored. however, the biggest display of his humanity is shown to us through his feelings towards yoichi.

some of the most genuine displays of emotions we see from him are because of yoichi. yoichi is someone who had been with him from the womb and he is someone he cares about more than anyone else.

he has spent the last century chasing ofa not because of its power but because it has one of the last pieces left of his brother after he died. we're even shown how he kept yoichi's severed hand, it's a raw display of sentimentality and regret over what he did to his brother.

and while he claims yoichi isn't the final goal, only the midterm goal, one shouldn't underestimate yoichi's importance to him as we see him chase after him even when it would've been more beneficial to just let him go. he had two chances to end the ofa line for good before it became too powerful as we see with banjo and en, and yet he didn't take it because he couldn't bear to let go of yoichi. and let no one forget his line "yoichi without you, it's all for naught" from chapter 410.

so why am I saying all of this?

honestly, I'm hoping for a different ending for afo that's not him being defeated and humiliated once more.

I'm not trying to justify anything he has done nor am I an afo apologist, but if other villains could get the chance to have a hand reached out towards them then why can't afo? why else would you show me how terrible his childhood is and the displays of humanity within him unless you're trying to show us he isn't a complete lost cause?

we saw how izuku was willing to listen to muscular as to why he was doing all this, but muscular didn't care to speak so they fought instead. there was no backstory nor any attempt to show muscular as something other than a bloodthirsty killer.

why not have the same treatment with afo if your main point is to show he is a lost cause? yes afo doesn't deserve any grace or kindness towards himself, but isn't being a hero reaching out to other even when they don't deserve it? certainly none of the other villains being reached out towards didn't deserve it after all they've done. so maybe just maybe I am hoping for a kinder ending for vestige afo. an ending that will put to rest all the "he was born evil and is a lost cause" arguments and shows us the who he really is underneath the mask he has worn for all these years.

my biggest hope here is that yoichi's vestige isn't gone permanently, but it still exists. how will he come back and how did he survive the whole being smashed against tomura? I have no idea. as I said its just a hope. but if there is anyone who could reach out to afo as of now and have the moment be impactful it would be yoichi.

there's a lot of bad blood between them and yoichi did give up on afo when they were alive, but considering how depressed afo is now that he thinks yoichi is gone forever and that he doesn't see the point of ruling a world without the one person he wanted by his side the most and how yoichi took no joy in seeing him being beaten earlier there's a chance a final reunion between them could happen.

afo built too much of his image being the evil villain that he doesn't know what else to do, which is why he's still trying to conquer the world even though he feels its meaningless now without yoichi. I think this all leaves afo in a very vulnerable position emotionally right now.

yes the heroes will defeat and his vestige will fade away forever, but I'm hoping for yoichi to be there with him at the very end and they decide to put everything behind them and fade away forever together. maybe we will also get to learn his true name through yoichi and see his humanity fully out on display. no more struggling between them, but just them being brothers once more right before the end.

[atorchzagreusandtris]

I may or may not have made an entire AU surrounding Morro and a resurrection/redemption arc because let's be real Ninjago fans, Morro deserves it. The writers did him so fucking dirty.

I will eventually maybe be writing a fanfiction about this, but if anyone wants the rundown of my AU - most of the events pre-season 5 don't change, just get strung together a little better to make the plot flow more coherently. (Ie, the Ninja feeling creeped out in the Caves of Despair - the place where Morro died initially.)

Resurrection: It is around Day of the Departed when he is resurrected, though the Ninja don't find out he's alive until I want to say season 7. The Ninja think they see him in the distance but brush it off. There's no way, pfft, Morro is dead. The Cursed Realm is gone. Right? WRONG.

Redemption: While trying to figure out stuff about Krux and Acronix, not only do the Ninja find out that Morro has been alive, but that Morro has spent his new life living it the way he would have if Wu had never found him. He has a job and an apartment, he doesn't want to be a ninja. After everything Wu put him through... he just wants to be happy. He wants to live the life he never got to live. He doesn't care about being the Green Ninja anymore.

UNFORTUNATELY, the Ninja need as much help as they can to take down Krux and Acronix and are forced to try and get Morro's help. While there is a very VERY rocky start between the Ninja and Morro, they will eventually grow to trust them (Cole takes the longest surprisingly. It isn't until season 8/9 that he BEGINS to trust Morro)

Bass?: "But Tri where does this bass thing come from?"

Oh yeah either in Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitzu or VERY early Prime Empire - Jay and Cole accidentally introduce Morro to music and musical instruments. Morro falls in love with playing the bass and by the time of mid-Prime Empire, he's damn well near a pro at it to the point I already have a minigame planned for Morro to show off his skills with.

Souta?: It means "Sudden, sound of the wind" and "thick, big, great". It's a Japanese surname. Morro gave it to himself because he felt weird about the fact that everyone had surnames but himself. (And also he probably needed one for his job.)

Ghost Blade?: He may not be dead anymore, but because he WAS dead for so long, a lot of his energy is still connected to being dead, so bam. He can manifest a PHYSICAL ghost weapon. Might be a little OP, I don't care.

Also explains his gi, there are some changes to it BUT he remains very attached to his dead gi design + all gi designs I come up with for the different seasons will be based on his Possession gi. (the ninjargon letter M where his weird animal brooch used to be (which he wears on his shawl instead) pants/sleeves cutting off halfway down his calves/arms!)

Lloyd: Morro and Lloyd grow to see each other as brothers. Morro, having been in Lloyd's body and mind has a deeper understanding of him than anyone else could. Morro becomes VERY protective over Lloyd and due to this his relationship with Kai is one of the first ones he forms. Morro hates Wu and Misako (and S8+ Garmadon) for the way they've treated this boy. Morro isn't afraid to argue with Wu on certain things regarding Lloyd. Morro becomes the big brother to Lloyd whom he always wanted in his own life.

Islands, Seabound, and Crystallized: Oh boy, this will be fun because technically all three of these COULD have been connected to Morro (Islands and Seabound DEF were and Crystallized SHOULD HAVE BEEN). Anyways, I kill off Morro at some point in either Master of the Mountain (which I would LOVE to do the most because Cole at this point is one of the closest Ninja to Morro and it would HURT HIM SO FUCKING BAD, and be more of a driving force for his character arc), Islands, or Seabound to make it easy on myself plot-wise BUT he gets resurrected by Harumi in Crystallized because this dumb bitch thinks that just because he used to be a villain means she can convince him to become a villain again. Morro becomes a double spy.

Euphrasia?: Her element in the show is white. Morro's is green. She's not the new Elemental Master of Wind, she's the fucking Elemental Master of AIR and I will stick by that. Even canonically, I refuse to acknowledge it. If I get far enough as writing for Dragons Rising, I will definitely give Euphrasia and Morro a sibling dynamic.

Anyways! Yeah! This is but a preview of what my Resdemption-AU has to offer. If anyone wants to hear more about it, I could talk about it for FUCKING hours.

Oh!!! And I want to give credit to @sunfloraas because I took A LOT of inspiration from her Morro design because it's that good!!!

[vorpalfae]

ive been living with sensory issues my whole life, i freak out when someone makes small changes to my routine, like i hate doing spontaneous things, most of the time i hate physical affection, & i have such a hard time socializing & making friends. i have bipolar disorder and other disorders like anxiety, etc. but my treatment for those things doesn't help with these other issues i have. i hate being like this and i want to work toward change but i don't know what to do to work toward it. 😞

like i said i have trouble making friends and i always have since i was a kid. i've always felt like an alien compared to other ppl. and that's fine because i prefer being alone. but i hate that i can't act normal in social situations and ppl always think im rude or weird when im not trying to be 😢 and it sucks because i kinda have to be in social settings sometimes because i have children. and i dread it for these reasons every time. nobody is interested in the same things as me. and when i talk about my interests ppl tell me im too obsessed with something or tell me its weird altogether. which hurts. and when i am able to make "friends" i always get taken advantage of because i can never tell when someone is taking advantage of me and my kindness or if they have malicious intentions with me. and i feel stupid every time because my bf will tell me they are "obviously playing you" or my mom will say stuff like "can't you tell that they aren't interested?" or the one i always get is "why can't you see that this guy is flirting with you/trying to sleep with you."

idk if im just having a panic attack or a mental breakdown or what. but this has been building up inside of me for years. i feel so stupid and weird. i have to carry lotion around with me because if my hands don't have moisture on them at all times i literally sit there with chills going up my spine and i can't touch anything. certain clothes make me want to rip my skin off. and my family gets annoyed every time i have to run back in the house because i forgot to grab it. which just adds to the guilt i feel for being this way and i can't control these issues no matter how hard i try.

i've literally made so many lists and "rules" for myself on how to act around ppl and i try so hard to follow them just to get through whatever event is going on.

i think thats why i throw myself into my interests and use them to escape reality so much. once i find something i like i become obsessed with it forever and i talk about it so much to the point where my bf tells me its too much. certain characters and shows are the only thing that brings me comfort sometimes. i have so many unnecessary lists and categories for my interests. i know its very time consuming and pointless but just having them makes me feel better. like pinterest for example is my best friend lol. making these lists and stuff just soothes me in a way. as stupid as that sounds. but even tho it comforts me it still makes me feel stupid because ive never met anyone else who does that.

i've never ever spoken about this stuff online/publicly before. mainly because of embarrassment and fear of being bullied for it since ive already been relentlessly harassed for a million other things. i just have so much anxiety all the time. and doing pointless things helps with it but i want to stop feeling this way. or at least have answers as to why i am this way so maybe i can fix it. im tired of feeling awkward or different from other ppl. i want to be normal and pleasant to be around. i want to get along with the other parents at school functions instead of being scared to talk to ppl. i can't even make eye contact with anyone i talk to. ive tried since i was LITERALLY a child and no matter what i always get scared or nervous and look away. and its really noticeable to other ppl because they've mentioned it to me.

i'm posting this to vent but also maybe someone reading this has gone through the same thing or can help me. because i feel so hopeless and im scared im going to be this way forever. ive only been able to find info on the sensory thing and ive found that there is no way to get rid of it. ive tried everything and ive given up on that. but i know i can change my actions and how i interact with ppl if i can just figure out WHY i am like this.

pls don't laugh at me or say anything mean if you choose to comment on this post. i already have so much anxiety and fear about posting it. i don't want sympathy or anything like that. i just need help 😞🥺😢

i have an appointment booked for seeing a psychiatrist but that isn't until november i haven't seen one since i was a little kid. so i'm hoping to maybe get some answers in the meantime.

i already can't work and im getting disability soon because my bipolar is so crippling. it affects my ability to function so much. and i have these other problems on top of it. the fact that i can't even make a living like "normal" ppl makes me feel bad about myself already. and since i can't get a job or a career i want i just want to feel normal in my everyday life and around ppl AT THE VERY LEAST.

[hanniejji]

Woke up and got sad diluc father ideas? Got 3 sad ones. (TW! #3 contains mention of suicide!! You've been warned.)

Little phoenix falls into the abyss instead of getting hurt by the abyss. They're running away after a big argument with him. Then trip and fall into this big ravine. They end up being there for 12 days but in the abyss that's a year. By the time they return the sparkle in their eyes gone and they no longer Smile as sweetly as before. Their smiles almost fake. That is his child just not the same anymore, and they now wheeled a weapon they never did before and have a cyro vision. Maybe he could have done something to stop this... all he knows... it's his fault.

Little phoenix calls him master diluc and Kaeya now dad (with kaeya saying it's ok). He must have heard that wrong. His child just called Kaeya dad. He probably just misheard what they said. But then they do it again, and again, and again. When they first called Kaeya dad they apologized, when Kaeya why they called him dad. They respond that everything they've seen how a father acts and been told is what Kaeya did never what their father did. Every big events they had he showed up, never Diluc. When they got their Vision he helped, never Diluc. When they wanted to learn how to fight he helped, never Diluc. Every event in their life whether small or big Kaeya was there, never Diluc. Maybe it was the God's way of saying he messed up big time. To the point where he's no longer their father in their eyes.

#3 below this. WARNING SUICIDE!!

Little phoenix heard what everyone said as they walked by. It was their fault their mom's gone, they killed their mother, they took away their father's happiness. It's all their fault. So maybe if they took away the one thing that took his happiness away he'd be happy again... right? So when he comes home from bartending to change into his Dark Knight hero attire. He hears a random maids scream. When he rushed to see what's wrong it's coming from there room... when he walked in he couldn't believe what he saw. They now were lying on the floor as the maid had taken them down with a rope hanging above them. They no longer had a pulse having been dead for a while. He found a note it said "I hope this makes things better for you dad. After all I took your only happiness when I came along. So if I'm gone you can be happy again! Please tell uncle Kaeya I love him and I'm sorry." -signed Little phoenix.

Sorry but I wanted more sadness... ehe~. Call me Ray though plz! (If you call me smt pronouns are they/them plz and ty!)

you really embodied the "woke up and chose violence" phrase huh? this is so painful to go through sheesh HAVE I NOT GIVEN Y'ALL ENOUGH ANGST 😭 MY POOR HEART NEEDS MERTHY, GIB MERTHY

these are all so fucking possible in the au because honestly, no matter how matured phoenix is, they're still a child. they think of things that are harmful yet to them it's the best decision.

at this point i want to hurry up the diluc fic because y'all are going wild with the angst 😭😭

just kidding, give me more pain :'D

[sassyfrassboss]

They deserve each other but after all of this I actually think he'll be the one to file because he'll hit a breaking point that nothing is actually getting better. It took awhile but it happened with a close family friend. I think he's too far gone to get anything he wants back, but they won't stay married forever.

They've got maybe 2 years left to remain "shinny and new in hollywood". after that your just B/C listers that has a family name or connection but doesn't have the fan base that justifies the price paid for them. We're already seeing it.

Hollywood was Meghans ticket, her domain, and the only person they've wanted since she arrived is harry. She's tried countless times to change that, reached out to brands, networked at events, she's reminded damn near everybody she's got a title now. but it hasn't changed. it won't. It's been pointed out countless times, Meghan is obsessed with the glitz and glamour, she wanted to play dress up and go on vacation, have her kids watched by nannies. But that was never going to be harry, he doesn't have the wealth for that kind of lifestyle. He's someone who has always wanted to be a very famous name. Those things don't match.

Honestly, this last appearance by Harry at the UN was worrisome. I think he has had some kind of break. He looked awful.

You are right though. Meghan thought she was going to get back to HW with her Prince on her arm and all those who never acknowledged her before would be fawning over her now. Instead she was still the nobody she always was, she just happened to be married to a Prince who people wanted to interview and do deals with.

Meghan saw the Royal Life through Diana. She saw Diana vacationing in Spain, France, Italy and on mega yachts with billionaires. That is what Meghan thought she was getting when she married Harry. Instead she was sent to small villages in the middle of nowhere UK and had to meet with people she saw as beneath her.

Harry on the other hand met Meghan when he was on a high as being the most popular royal and probably the most well-known prince in the world. William was seen as a boring family man who was only part time royal. Kate was mostly a mom and working part time as a royal. So Harry and Meghan were able to capitalize on his popularity at first because Harry was looked upon more favorably.

It wasn't until we saw a huge change in Harry from the fun loving prince to someone who always had a scowl on his face and was giving woke speeches that made zero sense, we realized that Meghan had changed him and not for the better.

I think what is hilarious is that she sent out all of the 40x40 swag last year to ever A-lister in HW and almost 99% of them sent it back according to Exposing SMG.

[killer-dream]

whee a drabble under the cut

Time is… a strange thing. Oftentimes it flows fast and relentless, a tidal wave against any poor soul that tries to plead for more, for longer in this world. Yet other times, such as many of those moments trapped in grief, it becomes a measly trickle, barely enough to notice, even as humans erect wood, stone, and metal structures, as forests grow and are torn down.

Life is far too cruel to forever spend moping about and avoiding the beautiful changes. At least, those are the words he last said to his father. …How long ago was that? Perhaps… three centuries? Or maybe five.

She was alive then, sending hundreds of her subordinates into other Hells on a constant basis. When the flow ebbed, she just took from his father, too far withdrawn by Vel's sudden departure from this world. …The King was too far gone to notice that his wife's grief would destroy their Hell from within.

…He returns, sometimes. To smaller regions, slowly regrowing after the Queen nearly destroyed them. He's returned to the castle a few times, but he's never stayed long enough to potentially see his father again.

No, those visits are to see what's changed, to see familiar structures, to lose control of his form upon walking past his siblings' former rooms -- forever empty, first from what might have been an isolated event, only for the Queen's wrath to consume her remaining three children.

Maybe he should pick up a hobby -- aside from wandering through the different worlds and gathering souvenirs.

He sang, once. Perhaps he will again, or those tones will stay silent, a mirror of the unforgiving nature of demise. At first, it was only mimicry. The humans sang his father's praises, and he just happened to be curious. Mimicry turned to talent, only revealed once the Queen gave birth to his siblings.

Annoying and insistent, they were. Sneaky, too. Yet their stealth wasn't enough… Perhaps he should have taught them more, rather than encourage their art…

But then he wouldn't have memories of Vel's bouquets, 'Diri's calligraphy, Ker's metalwork, or Ry's sculptures. Yet his own fascination with beauty allowed him to neglect teaching them truly important things. They were soft, far softer than he ever was, softer than he ever will be.

They were soft, living an early life of round edges and velvet. Even now, when they've departed for all eternity, he can't wish a life like his own onto them, even if it meant they would still live. A life of splinters, shattered glass, and jagged rock isn't one anyone should have.

The King's own blood were roses, beautiful and dangerous, yet their thorns were too dull, not enough to protect them. Perhaps his own could have been enough if he hadn't been a coward…

Instead of dwelling on all these "what ifs", he forces his body to carry him into empty rooms, slowly filling with gifts. Maybe one day, his voice will find a reason to sing once more. Until then, his songs will go unused, just like the gifts that slowly pile in his siblings' former rooms.

[diodellet]

What if Simeon is just really strict as a director because as an angel he isn't allowed to interfere or influence other people's lives and so he makes use of this control during the school play+TSL musical? (aka if the new event focused on simeon)

posted on Nov. 28, 2020

he's been long time friends with lucifer right? so he's Seen some shit and there must've been a lot of times where he wanted to be able to change the way someone's life could have gone but he couldn't because he's an angel. he was only there to oversee to watch the person.

maybe even during the celestial war he wanted to be able to do something, Anything instead of fighting and exacting their Father's will. but duty comes first before personal feelings.

so here he is as a director making sure every little detail of his vision comes through in the acting and in the music. maybe all the other actors stepped down because simeon was the director for the musical. but the student council_mc Have experienced acting under simeon before

they all know what he's like. yes, they all know that their performance could use some improvement. but lucifer and his siblings could see the scars from the celestial war, simeon's faraway gaze. they weren't terrible actors but simeon just knows that he could make them do better, do things correctly, instead of making mistakes that would lead to a downward spiral.

lucifer wants to say something about it and so do his brothers, but they've spent hundreds of years apart. it wasn't like they could overcome that long period of estrangement,

Then, as if reading their thoughts, mc calls him out for being too controlling. while they were trying to practice frequently and improve with each rehearsal, none of the actors were robots or puppets to be moved the mc knows that TSL is supposed to be an allegory for their journey with the seven avatars of sin. maybe even a foretelling of what would happen in the future.

but mc also knows that lucifer and his brothers are their own people. or,,, being rather. whatever decisions they made, whatever actions they undertook, there were going to be consequences. and it didn't atter that the could have done something better. the past is the past, isn't it? what mattered was how they were living now, in the present, right?

simeon ends the rehearsal abruptly. coming to realize just how much he's projected onto his works, the musical, and consequently onto his former brothers. how much he's held onto the regret of their past.

the next meeting he's added some revisions to the script. the performance was still somewhat rocky with t he sudden changes, but at the same time, it's one of the first times that simeon's felt satisfied by their performance. yes, it could have been better, but that could wait for the next rehearsal.

[mtab2260]

Okay, I desperately need to rant about Apocalyptic Natasha Romanoff in this episode of What-If and I've decided to do it here over Reddit. Screw me.

First off...

Holy Fucking Shit! That was bloody AMAZING!

Second, I'm basically going to be explaining my excitement and jumping on the ceiling about each scene she was in, but also pointing out a few things as well.

(This feels like a Guardians of the Galaxy reference. No?)

I absolutely love this line because it says so much. In the main timeline, Steve had no clue about her Russian Vodka Family (as I've seen someone call it). In that timeline, I don't think she told anyone, not even Clint. But in Peggy's timeline, that Natasha clearly had to have opened up to Peggy which just shows how close those two had become during the year following the Battle of New York. Natasha Romanoff isn't an open person with anyone, in any timeline— even with Clint, the person she literally sacrificed herself for so he could live.

That says a million words I can't explain.

I also love the fact that the filter on Apocolypse Ultron World is dreary and it dulled out all the colour, and the sun's missing too. But in this shot, you can see hints of the sun shining through. It represents the hope Natasha saw when she saw them. The colour on Peggy's face and hair pop out. It automatically feels less dark and hopeless.

Also, I don't care what anyone might say this line is what sold Natasha that Peggy was an ally and that something was going on that she didn't yet understand. At the mention of Alexei, she just knew.

However... I must point out there are a few inaccuracies with this line. Actually, this entire line doesn't work.

Not really.

As because, up until ghosty Red-Skull said it on Vormir, Natasha had no clue what her birth father's name was and Peggy getting the serum instead of Steve wouldn't change that. So if she didn't know, there's no way she could tell Peggy.

And for the second part of that line... up until the events of Black Widow (the movie), Natasha was still lying to herself that their family in Ohio wasn't real— that it was just a mission and they were all just roles, nothing more.

But, I will say, maybe in that universe she and Peggy had a talk about it and Peggy make it clear she was a bloody numpty for thinking that and it was real regardless of the reason they were brought together. That could've happened in that universe. It's been made clear that those two traded stories with each other as her Nat knew about Steve, yet, main-timeline Nat didn't know about Peggy until she saw him staring at her photo. So who really knows.

But regardless, I still let out a jump of joy at this line because the What If series is letting the Russian Vodka Family be real!

Not that it wasn't real, but you get what I mean— anyways, onward!

This scene... oh my gawd... bloody-hell it's fucking terrific!

I cannot say how fucking overjoyed I am that when it came down to it, fucking Natasha Romanoff and bloody Clint Barton saved the entire bloody-fucking multiverse!

The (and I quote some random asshole) "Useless Avengers", saved everything ever known while also being the only survivors in an entire universe.

Let that sink in.

IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!

Like...

Holy Shit That's Awesome!

(I need more adjectives)

That's Bloody Insane.

I don't care how tacky they may be, I fricken loved these slow-mo arrow shots. And with the mirroring of Clint's (albeit fucking stupid) sacrifice coming full circle and to a close is outstanding.

Which brings me to my next point, that's kinda also this point too.

This point is part II we'll call it.

I

Am

So

Fucking

Happy

They

Didn't

Forget

About

What

Clint

Meant

To

Nat

And

Also

Just

Plainly

Forget

About

Clint

'Cause that would've sucked. I would've sued Marvel if that happened.

This scene. These two shots.

For someone who hides behind fake smiles and witty remarks, these shots show exactly what she's thinking at that moment and it's amazing. You can literally see the absolute peace on Nat's face that they did it, they ended Ultron, she avenged Clint's death, she avenged everyone's death, it was over. And hey look, Yelena, they didn't even need one of the big ones to do it!

But also look, see what I said about the filter— Natasha's hair actually looks fiery red instead of vibrant brown. Also, SUN!

Moving on...

I don't really have much to say about this line, but I fucking loved it, and serves the dude right.

She Has A Very Valid Point.

The pure amazement and life in Natasha's eyes and face is everything.

She saw everything she ever knew nuked and murdered because a robot spent five seconds on the internet and yet here she was now in a clusterfuck war full of life. Life that was at war with each other. But an alive war nonetheless and that's all she cares about at that moment.

Natasha and Clint being best buds part threeeeeeee........

On come on we all know what was going through Natasha's mind at this moment.

PAYBACK BIATCH!

Seriously I just love this short little bit. And the fact that Loki took over the world in a week, yet, this Natasha took him out with a kick and a small poke says things.

It's awesome.

As heartwarming as this scene was, I was hoping for more and truthfully it's a load of bullshit.

I don't care whatever the fuck Nick Fury has seen in his days, he did not know about the multiverse and if he wasn't happy as hell to see her on that Helicarrier then he was suspicious as hell as to who was this Natasha Romanoff imposter was. I'm sorry, I refuse to believe otherwise. No one's first thought after they've seen an alive version of someone they buried in the ground is—

"Oh, you must be Natasha just not my Natasha. Yeah, that makes sense."

Yeah, no.

Also... might I again remind you EVERYONE ON HER PLANET WAS FUCKING NUKED TO DEATH?! Did everyone seem to forget about this?

The first time we've seen Natasha Romanoff cry (almost cry) was Fury's death in The Winter Soldier. That's proof enough for how much Fury meant to her.

So the first person in like over a year (probably) she sees that she recognizes (besides Thor) who she also knew for a fact was dead— her reaction should've been more than a smirk. Especially if it was someone she cried over when they died. The line the two Natasha's share after Peggy's "I've got the shield. You've got the sword." line proves that different universes don't change a person's personality. So her seeing Fury again should've been a helluva lot more emotional for her, hell, for the both of them.

It probably should've gone something more like...

"Natasha...?" A very familiar voice behind her breathed. It wasn't one she's heard for over a year but she recognized it immediately. She froze— which was not a thing she did, ever, but it was only truly hitting her now that not everyone she knew was dead anymore. That the Steve Rogers over there was, in fact, alive. That the Nick Fury behind her was alive. That hundreds, millions, billions of other people were alive.

Natasha turned around slowly like her limbs were stuck in the gallons of maple syrup Cooper put on his pancakes.

"Fury—" She choked, honestly too overwhelmed to say anything else coherent. The tears in her eyes stung as she didn't let them fall.

Nick's one eye narrowed, he was pissed. "Who the hell are you?" He questioned, voice threatening. "I know you ain't Natasha Romanoff 'cause she's dead. So who are you?"

She was sure she just stared at his face probably for a full minute but she didn't really care. It was really nice to see and hear another face and voice.

Nat took a much-needed breath. "I know your Natasha is gone, the giant baby-man cape dude said so. I'm not her. I'm from somewhere else. But I am Natasha Romanoff... and it is really good to see you, Nick..."

Ah, shit the tears fell.

But maybe it was worth it as his eye widened and some form of recognition or some sliver of understanding set in. It was honestly hard to tell through her blurry eyes.

"You're aware none of that makes any sense, right?" He asked, voice much gentler now. Fury looked over her outfit and very dirty/beat-up appearance. "And I take it wherever you're from didn't have showers either? Because I can smell you from here." His nose wrinkled as he smirked.

She knew he was trying not to gag.

Natasha choked out a wet laugh. "Not for like a year, they kinda got all nuked from a psychopathic robot."

She was pretty sure that was the first time she'd ever seen Nick Fury actually shocked.

Okay, yeah so basically something like that.

And the reason I kept saying over a year is because Clint lost an arm and was honestly ready to die. He did die. After a year of being almost the only person on an entire planet and losing Laura and the kids, he hit his breaking point. In the five years of the blip he definitely became close to his breaking point, probably was about to hit it before Nat showed up, and that was with half the universe gone and he was alone without Nat. It could honestly be longer than a year, it probably was much longer, but then I started thinking about food and how much food would actually be safe to eat— or actually there. It was a matter of time really until both starved to death honestly.

And the shower thing, it's honestly impressive anyone could stand near here and not pass out. Like seriously if everyone is dead, I doubt any showers still worked— let alone be standing.

Anyways, I do have a couple problems with this episode despite how much I loved it.

Going back to the "EVERYONE ON HER PLANET WAS FUCKING NUKED TO DEATH?! Did everyone seem to forget about this?" part I mentioned earlier.

It seems no one outside of Nat actually seemed to acknowledge that everyone was dead. That Natasha, previous to their arrival, was the only living thing in that universe and that was it. You would think even Peggy would show some care or sympathy or some consoling words to her so-called BFF. If not that at least recognize the truly apocalyptic scene around her and look at it with disbelieving eyes. For someone who has so much compassion, she seems to have none in this case. Or at least she didn't outwardly show it. Which is completely fine. But it just bothered me no one seemed to really think about it all.

Another thing:

This isn't really towards the episode per-say but I'm just really fucking pissed about it.

It's great— no sorry— it's absolutely amazing that Apocalyptic Natasha is now in a universe that was thriving with life. It's awesome and she deserves it.

HOWEVER....

Are you fucking serious that out of all the universes that Natasha died in, you put her in a one that ALSO has a STILL DEAD Clint Barton???

SERIOUSLY?!??!?

I've said this what, three, four times now— Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton are more cursed than FitzSimmons. Because at least FitzSimmons always find their way back to each other in the end, Nat and Clint always just find the other fucking dead.

I swear, how the other doesn't have PTSD from heights now is a bloody miracle.

Anywho:

That's my entire rant on this week's episode. If you actually read this all, one, I'm so sorry for wasting your time, two, wow— congrats.

Also, I really need to see someone make a fic about Apocalyptic Nat seeing Laura and the kids for the first time again, and also for Coulson too.

[ff15trashgoldenslumbers]

If requests are open right now, could we get the Chocobros dealing with S/O's ex. Like they won't leave S/O alone no matter how many times they've told the ex that they have a lover now and they don't want to get back together. If requests are not open just ignore this entirely. Thank you and have a wonderful day.❤❤❤

Ohhhh the drama in me loves this! but the anger in me makes me wanna punch ex’s like this! All in all good fuel! Kinda slight NSFW with Gladio here, hope that’s okay…

~~~~~

Noctis

You shifted your head slightly, trying to hide your face. Granted being a Princess was still new to you in hundreds of ways but that didn’t make what was happening any stranger.

When you and Noctis became public in your last year of being in school you immediately were thrown into a completely different life than the one you grew up in. You had to quit your job, move twice, and learned that being online you had to become very vague about a lot of stuff.

Before Noctis, you dated this guy that was kinda of…well full of himself. He was always posting selfies and talked himself up as if he himself were a god. After requesting to be in at least one selfie with him on his page after dating for a while and then him getting pissed at you when you posted a picture of the two of you with some friends and him thinking it would make him lose his fanbase you realized that you just wasted a good two months of your life.

So off the idiot in foil armor went and in strolled your Prince on a White Chocobo. You couldn’t exactly post selfies with him, but Noctis always made certain that you were by his side in any tabloid, magazine, fashion shoot, anytime there was a couple opportunity he was certain to take it and show you off!

But it still didn’t excuse the fact that your annoying two-month ex was everywhere! All the damn time! Some gossip column was all over it when you gave the vague question about kissing a few frogs to get your prince and tried digging up your nonexistent love life before Noctis and found that mistake, and this asshole figured he’d ride on your coattails to boost himself.

Nearly every magazine for a year was all about your previous relationship with the guy: Prince Noctis’s New Girlfriend EX Spills All. There were so many false columns and info this guy was giving about you that Prompto last year gave you a red thread board of him trying to solve who this guy was actually talking about and the only idiot he came up with was aliens. 

You still laugh at it whenever you have a bad day.

So to see this asshole now at this charity event for animals was just so annoying! He must have volunteered at the shelter when it broke news a few weeks ago that the royal family was going to help raise money. Gladiolus noticed him before you, and the big guy was itching to throw him out since the last time the guy tried to break into a ball. 

“You want me to toss him?”

“Nah, just keep an eye on him.” You replied to the big guy, only to feel Noctis take your hand.

“You sure?”

You could only nod, the guy just talked a lot, and as long as Noctis thought you were cool, you didn’t give a damn what any tabloid said about you.

So while Noctis was talking with the charity people and getting everything ready for you all to leave, you had stepped away to take a few selfies with the volunteers of the event with some of the dogs, cats, and Chocobo’s they had brought out to do photoshoot earlier.

“Y/N.”

You turned, only to be greeted by your ex standing there, you could be civil for Noctis’s sake, “Hello.”

He chuckled softly, “That’s all you’ve got to say to me?”

You blinked, “Do I know you?”

“Oh, you don’t remember me?” 

You smiled, “I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Princess Y/N, Are you ready?”  Prompto called, he was at your side with the selfies so you weren’t left alone. The blonde leaning in to whisper in your ear, “You okay?”

“Yes, thank you Prompto.” You cooed, taking his arm as he moved you over to Noctis. You gasped as you felt something snag the sleeve of your dress, expecting it to be one of the Chocobo’s, but quickly found yourself in a whirlwind.

You recalled a cracking sound, quickly followed by being pushed behind Gladiolus, only to find your ex on the ground, Ignis, and Prompto holding him down. You were only able to piece it together a few moments after it happened and both yourself and Noctis were quickly escorted to the car by Gladiolus.

Apparently, everyone was so focused on Prompto decking the guy the hadn’t noticed Noctis was keeping an eye on the guy so when your ex  grabbed you, Noctis had tossed a pen over towards your feet warping after it. Gladiolus jumped before the two of you, while Ignis and Prompto subdued the guy.

You honestly had to admit that you loved that Noctis was so protective of you and wanted to always do best by you, but the fact that your ex was still in the news was a little icing on the cake, but now instead of being labeled as the “Ex of the new Princess” he had a lovely new nickname of “Stalker.” or even better year, “Inmate.” 

~~~~~

Prompto

When you both started dating Prompto had already known that he was going to take everything you had to offer. He just wished that your Ex wasn’t a part of it, he wouldn’t give you up for anything in the world, but your Ex he’d give that jerk up for a plate of stinky tofu.

From what you had told him, you had broken up with your Ex after quite a bit of time of him comparing you to other women. Time and again, why weren’t you thinner, why weren’t your boobs bigger, why don’t you were makeup more often, why don’t you dress better. 

Prompto honestly didn’t see what the guys deal was, to him you were those most perfect of perfect! No one could compare to you, and it seems that your Ex realized it way too late. He had overheard from your friend’s hundreds of times that you seemed to glow so much more in a relationship with Prompto.

It was only when he saw it first hand that he realized just what a scumbag this asshole was. 

It was date night, you had both decided to go hang out at the little carnival in the park the two of you would often jog through. You had left him holding your purse and a stuff Chocobo he had won you at a shooting game to head to the bathroom. He was waiting on a bench just outside the restrooms, messing around on his phone, waiting for you to come out.

When you appeared he stood to go get you, when he noticed a guy quickly approach you. The look across your face was one that he wasn’t familiar seeing on you but he immediately knew that it was of distress, so he quickly moved over to you.

“…come on Y/N, let’s just go somewhere and talk.”

“I’m here with my boyfriend.”

“I know that I’ll…”

Prompto had only heard a part of it, but that was more than enough, “There you are, figured you fell in.” He laughed, his arm going around your shoulders, as he pressed a kiss to your temple, turning those violet eyes to your ex. “Is this a friend of yours?”

The sneer on your ex’s face didn’t go unnoticed, the guy wouldn’t even look at Prompto, “Y/N, come on we can go somewhere private and…”

“Sorry buddy, date night,” Prompto called, as he handed you the stuff Chocobo, before turning you around. “You understand right.”

He didn’t even wait for a reply before whisking you away. Only when he made certain that you both weren’t being followed by the jerk he turned to you making sure that you were all right, but instead found you holding tightly to the plush. 

Moving the both of you besides a candy apple stand, he turned to face you, “Y/N, are you okay, we can go home if you want.”

You shook your head, before turning to Prompto with a large smile, “You were so cool, Prompto.” 

He honestly didn’t know if the apples or his face was redder.

~~~~~

Gladiolus

At least twice a month, you would get these annoying text messages. It was never during the day typically anytime from 9 at night to 6 in the morning. Most of the time it wasn’t too big a deal, they would start, and either you or Gladiolus was mute the phone or turn it off should neither of you have any duties for the evening.

The issue was they there were coming from an ex, an annoying ex! Despite the fact that you had been the one to break up with the asshole after finding him in bed with not one but two other people. Granted your break up was you grabbing the guy and tossing him out, you let the other two get dressed as they both seemed just as equally confused to see you. You then did a little therapy by selling all the clothes and items you had bought him and smashing the game station you had brought him that he left at your place with your battle axe.

Noctis claimed that he still had nightmares about it.

He tried stating you were a crazy bitch, and that you destroyed his stuff, but all receipts showed that you purchased them and they were in your home and were yours. You gave him back anything he left at your place in boxes he had bought, but seeing that he was jobless and mooching off of you that was enough to fill one box. But if you bought it with your hard-earned money, and it sat in your house, and you had no need for it, it was getting sold, tossed, or smashed. 

So with 3 years gone, and a new love of your life that you’ve been sharing a bed and new home with for the last 2.5 years you had hoped all of this would be over. But nope like clockwork, you’d got these texts, even after changing your phone number 3 times and endless blocked numbers.

They started off angry, calling you every name under the sun, then to saying you should both talk it out, then the crying, then the pictures of him crying, or cuddling up to his new flavor of the month. Followed by texts of him reinstating time and time again that he was over you come the morning after. You never responded and after a bit, it became a running joke between yourself and Gladiolus.

The guy was too afraid of the both of you to ever try anything physical considering you both could destroy him with one hand alone, so he tried mental warfare which wasn’t his strong suit.

So when you went to open this month’s messages to stop getting the notifications from your phone you couldn’t stop the shriek of disgust.

“What he do this time?” Gladiolus asked sitting on the couch beside you.

You turned the phone, showing Glaidolus a dick picture.

“Really? Just send him one back.” Gladiolus chuckled, only to notice that you were suddenly scrolling through your phone. “What are you doing?”

“I thought about yours but that’s for my eyes only.” You responded, before finding whatever it was you were looking before hitting send.

It was honestly nice to have your phone silent for the last few months.

~~~~~

Ignis

You receiving undying support from Ignis, it was one of the things that you adored so much about the man. There were a few things that he didn’t support you on, but that typically was for your own good, like when you wanted nine espresso shots in your ebony.

A  wonderful welcome compared to your ex who thought a woman’s place was in the homestead and as he so delicately put it: Popping out babies, and only standing there to look pretty, to be seen and never heard. Not to mention he had often referred to you as his own personal Oracle, while he was the god you were to serve.

You weren’t even certain if you could call him an ex, considering that it was a pre-betrothal situation by your parents from years ago as a teenager and that after the third meeting with this asshole and a nice glass of wine tossed in his face you were determined to do all you could prove this man wrong. Pettiness was always a good motivator.

The only problem being, he was just elite enough to have a way into most of the royal invites, and being Ignis’s forever plus one and The Citadel’s head Historian you would often get put in lovely situations where you needed to be civil to this overgrown child again and again.

You couldn’t even count how many times he would try to act as if you were both an item, and would often try to joke around with Ignis about how the other must-have you under his boot and that he would take you off of Ignis’s hands should he get sick of you, knowing how much of a handful you were with these crazy ideas of yours.

Thing being, Ignis would have none of it! 

If there was anyone who hated your ex more than you it was Ignis, and Ignis could be so much more petty than you.

So tonight when you found yourself, being trailed around the party by him, you attempted to put on a pleasant face and excuse yourself, but this asshole somehow found a way to keep finding you around the party. Attempting to talk his way back into your life and constantly bring up to anyone who would listen to him that you both were once betrothed.

As you were contemplating on either giving him a black eye or bruise rib, you were surprised to instead find Ignis had shoved his way between the two of you, a protective arm around your waist pulling you close. 

“Kind Sir, I would say it was a pleasure to see you again, but we mustn’t tell lies. I’ve noticed something this evening…”

“What…”

“Do not interrupt me, as it make you appear, even more, the fool. I would appreciate it that you refine from speaking with or about Y/N for the rest of your meaningless existence, should you not, I will see it that not only yourself but also you family are stripped of any such titles that allow you to grease your way into any social standing, do I make myself clear?” Ignis inquired, he had mastered the look of a pleasant face, to everyone else in the room it must have looked like Ignis was simply have a pleasant conversation with the other man.

“I…”

“It is a yes or no question,” Ignis replied, that tight smile appearing even more so, those green eyes appearing to glow.

A slight nod of the head from the other man was the answer.

“Wonderful!” Ignis perked up an actual genuine smile appearing on his face. “Do have a pleasant evening.”

You allowed Ignis to whisk you away to the other side of the room, “Can…can you do that?” You had already known the answer but you just wanted to confirm.

“Of course, My Dear. Now I have been dying to dance with you all evening, shall we?”

Gods! You loved that man!

[pleasancies]

Justifying The Aftermath

wordcount : 2.1k+

warning : mention of animal abuse, emeto

content : lashing out, electrocution, vomiting, whumper!caretaker, lady whump, lab whump, whumper pov, manhandling

This is it! The last day of Summer of Whump. It's been fun, writing and reading more whump from this event. Can't wait for next year! Tagging : @summer-of-whump

***

Previous Chapter

"Breathe deeply, Fenrir."

Her stare was full of contempt. There was still a sharp edge on her two fangs. Blue veins jutting out under her arms and legs. She was much older than John, late in her twenties. Prior affiliation indicated if she wasn't a murderer or an arsonist then she's an accomplice to one. He didn't dare to take a step further. Even when her left arm was tucked in a sling, the other connected to an IV, the general scrapes and bruises on her face, or the fact that she couldn't sit up so the infirmary nurse had to raise her bed to prevent her lungs collapsing in on itself.

Fenrir spat, and it hit him in the chest despite the distance.

John took out his napkin, "I mean it for your well-being. Your rib fracture wasn't severe, but your recovery will be greatly stalled if you manage to get yourself pneumonia."

"And then what? Brainwashing? I had to be Empire's hunting dog? I'd rather die."

"You're contributing to the public good. We're not lying."

"You think turning people into living weapons is for the greater good?" Fenrir grinned, covering the upper half of her face with her palm. "Rich kids are easy to brainwash."

"We were forced. If terrorist groups like those Heretics you love so much doesn't terrorize the managers then we wouldn't have to spend so much time on defense!"

John watched the rise of Fenrir's chest as she spoke. Her breath was fast and shallow.

"Heretics are a new thing. The humans living in the Orients and the Border Islands have existed long before the Ship fell into our grounds. The Empire wasn't reacting to them when they sent out the first Seed and they sure as hell does not need a living monster to weed out a bunch of poors with a handmade grenade. What the Empire doing is never defense, child. They're hungry for control."

Child. It filled him contempt. He might have been younger than her but look who had their life sorted out? An internship with the smartest minds of the earth, a girl waiting back home, and a few years worth of savings. John is more mature, educated in things other than the vulgarity of drink and merrymaking.

Forgetting his fear, John leaned on the side of Fenrir's bed. He loomed above her. "Your problem is that you're uneducated. You had a brilliant mind, but you didn't go to school or truly learn how to think the big picture. The facts you learned was baseless. The Radicals got to you first and I'm sorry for that."

The glare she gave sharpened, and for a second John believed she's going to lunge at him. Luckily she was only taking a deep breath.

"Uneducated? I've written essays, planned raids, and build gardens! I might not be an engineer, but I know more about the world than you."

"This is a waste of time. You're insulting instead of discussing."

"Explain how calling me uneducated isn't an insult."

John run his fingers through his hair, "I'm here only to look at your progress. Look, I think Heretics are too caught up in their pain. They experienced bad things and blame the Empire. But it's just the world. You need to struggle and work and-"

"Mind if I cut in?" Fenrir doesn't wait for John. "Since you want an argument, I want to acknowledge we both had a different view of reality. It's just our sources. But you need to think about what they taught you. I assume you're referring to the workhouses."

"Yes. That, and the jails. I know most of you are former convicts."

She ramped up in intensity. Fenrir raised her voice. "They might told you it's just a struggle, but have you even been there? Eat the rat-pissed grain and get yelled off for sitting? Have you ever questioned if the papers telling their story reflects reality? Managers owned the workhouses. They owned the papers. Of course they only said good things about it. They got away with untold evil because you trust them!"

The long histrionic rant left Fenrir with a coughing fit. John's answer were simple.

"Who's to say you didn't lie to me to sympathize with them?"

"Ask ten men working in the poor house. If anecdotes don't phase you then read some statistics my group works on."

"I'll do it." If John had the time, which was virtually nonexistent. If he had the guts because none of his friends including him know a guy like that, and approaching workhouse residents can get you robbed "Later. Wartimes are a bitch."

Fenrir chuckled, her mood has lightened up. "Aren't we all united under a single flag? Why is there still a war?"

A rhetorical question and a trap. Why is Fenrir likes to anger herself so much? Either way, he's not taking the bait. What a sad life, suspecting every thing you hear might be misinformation. The Empire could never lie about something so grave. They had principles. John had seen firsthand how his life have been easy because his family knows the rules and how go around the proceedings. It's imperfect, but it's definitely better than whatever the Heretics are going for.

For a week, John and Lisette have been adjusting. Visiting Fenrir separately, taking notes of trigger buttons and quirks. This Fenrir was different, and the way she was exposed to the substance made a different sort of Dog, besides the mutations. They need to re-do experiments, test new things, even change up their approach. Fenrir was always angry, and there's this restless energy around her. Avoiding certain topics and sneaking up sweets for her seem to calm her down a little, but that restless edge was still there.

Not a concern. Not since Fenrir's ribs and shoulder had mostly healed. Not after they've think up strategies to temper her prickly disposition and contain the emotional outburst after her first testing. Not when they drug her when she's already asleep before transporting her to the forest.

They were expecting a tantrum. The soldiers prepared stun guns, flash bangs, anything that could assault her heightened senses. Professor Clayton personally stitched the taser cuffs on her ankle. Something John had spent a great deal of time debating against. He was overruled. Lisette took their superior's side. In the end, the shock collar was necessary.

"I think she's getting through to you," Lisette teased.

"Oh shut up. I was trying to meet her halfway." The image in their cameras are somehow better. Some were blank, filled with static courtesy of Fenrir's rampage. But the few that left thrived, vivid contrasts and colours detailing her figure among the half-eaten animal. Alien techs are on another level. "She was taught to expect cruelty from us. We can't reform her if we proved her right."

"I think that's unfair. She'd done bad things, just because she was radicalized to do so doesn't mean she's exempt from punishment."

John leaned on his chair, "But we're not judges. We're scientists. We should refrain from any cruelty unless it's sanctioned by the State."

"Yeah, right." The speakers blared with a distorted buzz of a helicopter. They were silent as it lands at the edge of the forest. Lisette went on, "so you've already told the King you'll stitch Fenrir's wound without anesthetic?"

"You're missing the point."

"What is it then? Don't get me wrong, I think she deserves it. She was a terrorist. But I won't delude myself that they'll bring her to court. No, the way this goes is she'll work for us and be given an honorary medal when all of our testing eventually gives her brain damage."

Lisette leaned closer to the screen. Her expression unreadable. Professor and his soldiers had found Fenrir. She haven't moved from her position. Still kneeling, dirty blonde hair matted with blood. They practically jumped at her. Seizing the shoulders, heaving her up, and kicking her in the legs to disturb her balance. Two men at the side, another sticking a gun on the back of her head. Professor Clayton kept his distance, the switch for the taser cuffs firmly in his pocket.

She glanced at John. The silence of the room grows opressive. He leaned to his microphone, eyes still intently looking at the screen. Fenrir let her feet dragged against the ground. Her head hung low, eyes half-lidded. Not looking at anything at particular. Quiet.

That period of trepidation passes. Fenrir doesn't fight, doesn't even squirm as they put the earmuffs and blindfold on her. She arrives, her knees buckling and fall on the floor. The strength had gone out of her.

First test passed with flying colors. The trigger serum worked. They didn't have to kept her half-dead to maintain her beast form. But the devil is in the details, how much does she have to lose? It was John's assignment to figure it out.

On first glance, Fenrir seemed to have crossed that line. John could smell death from her. Her entire body is covered in dried blood, yet she didn't seem bothered. She stared at the desk, gripping the towel they gave and picking at the threads.

"Fenrir."

"My name is Avis."

John kneeled in front of her, taking the towel. She was shivering, and her fingers were shaking in a way that suggest it was more than the cold. He wrapped the bloodied cloth around her shoulders.

"You're supposed to cover yourself like this," John brings the ends of the towel to her two hands. He hold her clasped arms, gently pulling it so the fabric would cover more of her body.

"I know that," Fenrir absently murmured.

Looking closer, it was a grisly sight. Blood runs from her gums. Pieces of the camera were stuck under her long nails. Dust and dirt were sticking under the coat of dried blood. The shock bracelet was still there.

"I was going to give you a few test before we took you to the infirmary again but maybe you need medical help and a shower first. How's that?"

She looked at him. The hateful stare was still there. "Do you think this is justified?"

"We needed to test your power. Your blood could save millions, only if we know what to do with it."

Fenrir burst into a laugh, "Making me ate two dogs alive could save people?!"

"Fenrir—"

"Don't call me that!" She stood, still taller from the transformation. Her eyes were burning from tears she's desperately holding back. Her stomach hurts. The smell of her body made her sick. Even more disgusting when it reminds her of what she'd done. "I'm not fucking stupid. I'm going to be a warbeast and the only thing I'll save is the Empire's stolen property!"

"Sit down. Please. Let's get you a bath and we'll talk this out, alright?"

Fenrir took a step back. John wished they bother to bring in her handcuffs, if only for his piece of mind. "How could you see me out there and think this is okay?"

"You're right. It's not okay."

It's justified. But John was at lost for words. He nodded, "I know you're in distress. I hear you. Let me help."

"Then leave!" Fenrir yelled. "Acknowledge for once that this entire operation is senseless violence!"

John throw his testing papers on to the desk. His voice grew cold, "You're a hypocrite. You burned houses, destroyed machines, terrorize my friend's families. How could you do all of that and think this is bad?"

"You didn't know, no, you refuse to see the destruction and terror they've caused. And when it became too big for you to ignore, you're going to pretend they've hid it from you all this time or you've got no choice but to follow their orders."

Fenrir reached for the papers, and for the next thing they both now was that her screamed reverbrate through the room. She was on the floor. Seizing. Her limbs jerked, hitting the nearby table. Blood runs from her ankles, and John looked at the door to find his mentor leaning against the frame with the remote.

"Get her a bath, John."

He nodded. She was too weak to fight him off. Little aftershocks plagued her body even as he helped her sit.

"Come on, we should go."

"No, wait." Fenrir hold the leg of the desk in a vice grip. She kept her mouth tightly shut, and there's a bit a green around the outlines of her face. She felt her cheeks burning. Saliva pooling in her mouth. John shook her shoulders. The movement was a straw that broke the camel's back.

She gagged, heaving out a gush of acid and pre-digested flesh. The chunks of meat triggered another bout of vomiting. Each wave of nausea more stronger than the last.

"It's alright," John said, rubbing her back, "Let it out. You'll feel better."

Soon enough, her stomach was empty. She was nodding off, her eyes glassy with tears. John the only thing keeping her from slumping down on her own sick.

"You're a monster," Fenrir muttered.

Next Chapter

[dreamersleeps]

So, as someone whose father is very similar to Endeavor, I've never understood the notion that Horikoshi is trying to whitewash or excuse his abuse by giving him a character arc. Abusers are awful people, but it's not often that they're one-dimensional villains. Nobody ever talks about how confusing it is when your abuser wakes up and sees the damage they've caused, much less when they clumsily try to make ammends. It seems fans would rather it all be simple, when it's anything but in reality

/2 Are there ways it can be handled better? Of course. But a writer making an effort to explore the complexities of abuse through all its angels is far from abuse apology. It’s much more respectful (imo) to treat the situation like the confusing, complicated mess it is in reality, rather than reduce it to some simple cartoonishly evil bullshit that either limits the survivors of his abuse to being lifelong victims, or enables the continued abuse perpetuated by a former victim (i.e., Dabi)

Hello, I’d like to thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions. I was actually surprised to open up Tumblr to see your messages in my inbox. I spent the past couple of days sitting on and thinking about it. I’m not sure if you were asking for my thoughts and opinions, but I’ve finally sat down and written my response. It’s late at night so I apologize if there are any statements below that are poorly worded or expressed. 

As you express, it’s a very complicated topic as a whole, because Endeavor, or Todoroki Enji is a complicated character. 

I can not and will not claim that I understand abuse like those who have experienced it. Additionally, It’s not in my place to tell people how to feel or think. However in response to what you shared, I will give some of my thoughts as a reader and fan of BNHA on the topics surrounding Endeavor. (Btw to the anon: some of what I have to say below will be my general opinions about the topic as a whole.)

When I try to write meta and other analysis pieces, I try my best to go back to the manga and base my analysis and arguments on the (official) translations instead of my opinions and thoughts from the beginning. I sometimes have to go back and re-read chapters to remind myself what is “canon” and then try to understand and express my interpretations on the matter. This is not to talk down on those who do not do this: this is just something I do for myself. I am most definitely influenced greatly by what others have to say but I also want to figure out my own interpretation of the story and characters.  

So, as someone whose father is very similar to Endeavor, I’ve never understood the notion that Horikoshi is trying to whitewash or excuse his abuse by giving him a character arc. 

I personally never really saw it as Horikoshi trying to excuse Endeavor’s abuse by giving him a character arc as well. As many others have stated, I don’t see it as a “redemption arc,” because it isn’t. 

I think that we all have to remember the diversity of the fans and readers of this and other fandoms. There are those who can personally relate to or understand what the Todoroki family has gone through, and others who are unable to. Those who are unable to fully understand certain experiences but can sympathize with the characters however even then, this lack of knowledge or exposure to the topic has led to people accidently expressing opinions that hurt or offended others. Additionally, based on what I’ve seen and read on Tumblr, there is quite a wide range of differing viewpoints from those those who can relate to the experiences of the Todoroki family.

Abusers are awful people, but it’s not often that they’re one-dimensional villains. Nobody ever talks about how confusing it is when your abuser wakes up and sees the damage they’ve caused, much less when they clumsily try to make amends. It seems fans would rather it all be simple, when it’s anything but in reality.

Abuse is complex. There is a very wide range of complicated feelings, emotions, thoughts and opinions that surround it. Everyone has a reason as to why they feel or think the way they do. Because we all have had different experiences and reactions to the events of our lives, we can not expect everyone to think similarly. 

Given that BNHA or shounen manga in general is catered towards a younger audience (compared to, lets say seinen manga) and Horikoshi is working with topics that are difficult to read or understand even for adults, I’d argue that part of the discourse may result from that. 

It seems like when we say that we like a certain character, people tend to automatically assume then that we approve of what they stand for and what they’ve done. I first watched the first two seasons of BNHA before I began reading it. I absolutely hated Endeavor in the beginning, however after I caught up in the manga and began to follow the chapter releases each week, ultimately the characters that really pulled me in to the story was Endeavor, Hawks, and Bakugou, arguably some of the most controversial characters of the series. 

Are there ways it could be handled better? Of course. But a writer making an effort to explore the complexities of abuse through all its angles is far from abuse apology. It’s much more respectful (imo) to treat the situation like the confusing, complicated mess it is in reality, rather than reduce it to some simple cartoonishly evil bullshit that either limits the survivors of his abuse to being lifelong victims, or enables the continued abuse perpetuated by a former victim (i.e Dabi) 

What truly drew me in was the complexities that came with their characters. I haven’t personally experienced abuse however I have lived through other experiences to recognize in my own understanding that life is both so negatively and positively complicated, confusing and messy. Some people want to see Endeavor fall, and others hope to see him actually change. These wishes are shaped by what we’ve seen or experienced throughout life. 

We like simple, clear cut, perhaps one dimensional characters because it’s easier to form an opinion about them. It seems like we struggle with characters like Endeavor and others because we are sometimes faced with the contradicting collision of our own thoughts, morals and beliefs with the actions and story of these characters. 

For some reason a lot of my analysis posts have revolved around Endeavor, Hawks, and Dabi and if anyone is interested, I personally believe that as much as we may love a character, whoever it may be, actions should and will be met with consequences. Tragedy does not excuse one’s actions. They may explain one’s actions but we are responsible for and should be held accountable for the consequences that result from it.  

If anyone was thinking it, this all does not mean that I think Horikoshi should be exempt from critique. And as you ask and answer, “Are there ways it could be handled better? Of course.” Additionally as I have written on the top of my blog, 

There will be posts found here that you may not agree with, however different perspectives are what keeps the meta conversation going. 

I think that many of us would prefer it if people would refrain from accusing, insulting or bullying Horikoshi and other fans because of their thoughts and opinions. Although it is understandable that it is difficult when we respond to the story and others emotionally, taking part in these types of activities is not the same as critiquing something. 

Boku no Hero Academia is still an ongoing manga. We get one chapter every one or two weeks at a time and so we only get little snippets of the full story. Based on new info and what we’ve read in past chapters, we make predictions, assumptions and have expectations about the future. However, I think that we all have to remember that the story of Enji, Rei, Touya, Fuyumi, Natsuo and Shouto is not complete yet. We are still in the midst of an unfolding narrative that Horikoshi is working closely with to present his readers. 

[downn-in-flames]

I posted 351 times in 2021

86 posts created (25%)

265 posts reblogged (75%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.1 posts.

I added 572 tags in 2021

#look what queue made me do - 248 posts

#taylor swift - 64 posts

#six of crows - 55 posts

#and all the pieces fall - 48 posts

#shadow and bone - 42 posts

#and all the pieces fall asks - 36 posts

#and when you get me alone it's so simple - 34 posts

#hp - 18 posts

#jily - 14 posts

#jily fanfiction - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#he was like 'i cannot dock points because it is grammatically correct and the writing is good but jesus christ please use periods'

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

and all the pieces fall, chapter 9: if the story’s over, why am i still writing pages?

read it on: fft | ao3 | ffnet

"He also said he's throwing a party for New Year's," Mary throws out at the end. "He invited me and told me that if any of you want to come along, you're welcome to. It's mostly going to be people he's met after Hogwarts, so not too many people we know, but at the very least, the other Gryffindor boys will be there too."

Lily feels multiple sets of eyes glance over to her in that moment. She knows what they're all thinking. She's passed up on almost every social event involving people from their Hogwarts days for the same reason she'd avoided any interaction with the Portree Quidditch staff for the better part of her professional Quidditch career: she didn't want to risk a run-in with James if she could help it.

But now, the game has changed a little. Lily's no longer thinking about what might happen if she ever runs into him again - because she's done it, and it's gone exactly as horribly as she'd expected it would. She's got nothing to lose at this point.

47 notes • Posted 2021-06-23 18:48:28 GMT

#4

and all the pieces fall, chapter 8: chemistry, ‘til it blows up

read it on: fft | ao3 | ffnet

He puts his broom away with perhaps a little more aggression than is fully warranted. “Ignoring the ‘supposedly’ in there, because I’m not sure what the hell you’re trying to insinuate with that, what makes you think you have any right to just waltz into my life after three years and start telling me what to do with it? You don’t know my life anymore.”

His words sent a bolt of red-hot anger through her veins - it’s a well-placed hit, landing its mark on her perfectly.

“And whose fault is that?” she snaps.

“What?”

She takes a step towards him. “You’re right that I don’t know your life anymore. Whose fault is that? Who stopped replying to my letters and cut me off as soon as we graduated? I don’t know your life because you didn’t let me.”

57 notes • Posted 2021-05-15 15:16:00 GMT

#3

and all the pieces fall, chapter 10: back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known

read it on: fft | ao3 | ffnet

He cuts her off. "Oh no, Evans. You don't get to act like me picking a fight with you is so much different than what you've been doing constantly since the day I showed up here." There's anger in his voice now, a clear undercurrent in his previously deadly-calm demeanor. "Not when I know you do it for the exact same fucking reason I did."

"Which is?"

"Fighting with me is the most fun you've had in months."

He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and in a way, it is. There are so many parts of Lily that feel like they've gone numb, like they've shrunk or disappeared or gone dormant, and somehow, these moments with James… they feel like waking up. They feel like coming back to life again, after a long stretch of nothing but going through the motions and doing what's needed to stay alive and afloat.

It's anger, lighting her up, but it's something else too.

69 notes • Posted 2021-07-16 14:37:35 GMT

#2

and all the pieces fall, chapter 11: x marks the spot where we fell apart

read it on: fft | ao3 | ffnet

“Why the fuck would I want to kiss you?” The words come out of her mouth with nowhere near as much vitriol as she’d intended them to. Instead, she sounds breathy, needy, just the opposite of what she was trying to convey.

Because in contrast to what she’s said aloud, her brain is rather unhelpfully providing a number of answers to that question, even if it was meant to be rhetorical. The first being that the rest of her body is showing all the signs of wanting exactly that - her heart thudding a rapid rhythm in her chest, her breaths coming in shallow gasps, the way that her whole body’s practically keening into him even though he’s the one who’s got her pressed into the lockers.

And he’s… so fit. Even though his shirt’s on now, the tanned skin and taut muscles underneath it are permanently etched into her memory. His hair is completely windswept, and she wants nothing more than to run her fingers through it, because god, the perpetual sex hair is killing her. Being able to look but not touch has felt like a uniquely depraved sort of torture, and now, right in front of her, is the opportunity for relief.

And then, finally, there’s the obvious answer - she’s done it once before, and she knows exactly how good it feels.

70 notes • Posted 2021-08-15 14:25:46 GMT

#1

and all the pieces fall, chapter 12: can we dance through an avalanche?

read it on: fft | ao3 | ffnet

"I - I wasn't supposed to kiss you that night," he replies, as if that's somehow supposed to make things better.

She'd already gathered that he sees that night as a mistake somehow, she really doesn't need him slamming that fact in her face.

"Well you did, so you have to live with the fucking consequences. You can't just pretend it didn't happen just because you didn't want it to."

Now it's James' turn to laugh bitterly, and it catches her off guard. "Not wanting it couldn't be farther from the truth. You can't seriously think I didn't want to kiss you that night."

"I can't?" she asks disbelievingly, the slightest note of a challenge in her voice. "I certainly don't know how else I'm meant to interpret it."

He rakes his hand through his still-wet hair. "That kiss was… I'd thought about kissing you like that for the better part of seven years."

75 notes • Posted 2021-10-05 04:30:04 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[bigskydreaming]

How do you think the major DC/Batfam events would of happened if editorial hadn't stopped the DicKory wedding and they've just been a couple this whole time?

Oh god.

I don’t even know. But now I desperately WANT to know, and like, why has nobody ever written this story lmao nm we all know why.

But for starters, none of the stuff with Blockbuster, Tarantula, etc would have played out at ALL the same...assuming Dick was ever even IN Bludhaven, like, if he and Kory had married, why would they have left the Titans and not still been in New York, y’know? (Bonus! Dick never ever ever ever ever became a cop!)

But then too there’s the stuff that happened with Kory’s homeworld and her responsibilities to her people when they were refugees......no matter how much Dick had tying him to Earth at the time, this is not even just his girlfriend anymore, this is his WIFE, dealing with the potential end of her entire people....there’s NO way he’s gonna wait at home and expect her to go off and deal with that all on her own, he’s like no, I’m going with you, this is our ‘in sickness and health,’ let’s not argue about this when we could be using that time to travel instead, your people need us.

Jason’s return would have played out dramatically differently IMO, because as long as Dick was around and present in any capacity at the time, I think Dick would be in a LOT better place, a lot more centered here....and no matter how paranoid or pessimistic Bruce might have been about Jason at times, Dick would have had Kory there to counter that, and point out and remind him of all the things he loved about Jason, all the ways he KNEW Jason, no matter how much they both had changed....because Kory would remember that sweet kid who was so eager to go help the Titans save his big brother and she’d have just enough emotional distance and objectivity from her in-laws’ issues to be able to keep THAT image of him front and center and make sure to remind Dick of it too.

Ma’ri would likely have been born by the time Damian came along, assuming her birth happened around the same time most of the other OG Titans became parents, with Cerdian and the twins as well, and Lian already being a toddler....maybe even Jake might have been born by now too....

Which would have created a whole different dynamic as Damian would have been raised that year Bruce was gone by both Dick AND Kory, had a father figure AND a mother figure to compare not just his later relationship to Bruce to, but his relationship with Talia too as well.....not feeling as lacking or insecure by whatever choices Talia made in regards to him, assuming that most of the rest of DC events and choices other than Dick and Kory stay relatively the same and DC sucks at writing her. Its likely Damian never dies.

Before that point, again during the year Bruce was gone....things could have gone dramatically differently, smoother for the entire family just by virtue of Dick having Kory’s support and could bounce things off her as a sounding board the way he didn’t have anyone at the time.....the transition of Robin to Red Robin could have gone a lot smoother and with less resentment, Dick might have had the mental and emotional SPACE and presence of mind to be a lot more understanding of Tim’s insistence Bruce was alive instead of just focused on the pain he’d feel if he gave into temptation and believed Tim only to have those hopes crushed later down the line. Again, in this AU I’d posit that due to Dick and Kory never breaking up, Dick never grows distant from the Titans period, which makes it all the more likely they’d have remained a constant presence in his life at this time and he’d have been more willing and trusting about relying on them to help out in Gotham, because the way he did things wasn’t the way Bruce did things and that was always a strength in the past, they’re different men, they have different approaches and trying to do things the way the other did was NEVER going to work for Dick or be to his advantage.

All of which means Dick had help and OPTIONS for dealing with Jason and getting through to him, that is, if he wasn’t already closer because of how differently his initial return had gone down. Cass likely wouldn’t be in Hong Kong, because she’d have more reason to be around if it wasn’t just her and her brothers and Babs (who wasn’t even IN Gotham by that point). I’ve always headcanoned though that Cass and Kory would get along GREAT, and be really close, and again, if Ma’ri and potentially Jake are already born by that point, no way Aunt Cass is leaving her niece and nephew behind in this trying time in particular.

And then again, maybe Steph never died or was believed dead either, because War Games didn’t play out the same with Dick not in Bludhaven and with Kory’s potential intervention.

(Of course, by that line of thinking, its possible Tim was never fired as Robin and Jack Drake was never murdered and we’re just gonna gloss right over this here, see, because despite my frequent Tim Ire, he IS a part of this family, dammit, and no second rate sperm donor is gonna stand in the way of that, so whoops, in this AU Jack Drake tripped and fell down the stairs and like. He still died. Oh no, very sad, much regrets, Siri plz send flowers, end tweet.)

And then of course, eventually you get the next generation old enough that Ma’ri, Jake, Cerdian, Lian, the twins and a Robert Long from a parallel Earth who just dropped out of the sky one day because Who Cares and never left, like....are all bursting at the seams to start their own team and go out and have their own adventures, and Ma’ri turns on the Grayson charm to be like “Pleeeeease, Uncle Dami, enable us, please, it’ll piss off Grandpa Batty, and you know you love making him do the scrunchy face of doom, c’mooooooon, we just wanna borrow the Batplane for a little trip and we’ll bring it right back and wash it and everything, NOBODY HAS TO KNOW.” 

Kory, from the other room: I already know.

Ma’ri: Curses! Foiled by my lack of an indoor voice yet again.

Uncle Dami just winks at his niece though, in that way of his that isn’t actually a wink cuz he’s still Damian, and he doesn’t Do That, but he does twitch his eyebrow in a downward direction at least, and that’s basically the same thing, it totally counts: Don’t worry, Little Star. You had me at enable.

And just. Yeah. More of that. All of that. Selina and Bruce probably actually walk down the aisle at some point too, by the power invested in me Cuz I Said So.

In conclusion:

This would be amazing and excellent and DC sucketh for denying us it, The End, roll credits, and SCENE.

[dandystones]

The Mother Wound

“When you grow as old as I am you can’t any longer say this was someone’s fault, and that was someone else’s. It isn’t so clear when you take a long view. Blame seems to lie everywhere. Or nowhere. Who can say where unhappiness begins?” - When Marnie Was There.

A new goal I’m working towards recently is watching as many Studio Ghibli movies as I possibly can. I’ve never actually watched much anime growing up, but my sisters have always talked about the beautiful cinematography & stories of Studio Ghibli productions. Now that I’m on a break, I thought what better to watch than the gold mine that is Studio Ghibli films.  

I must say, I’m quite enjoying it. So far, I’ve gone through Spirited Away, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Howl’s Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Totoro, When Marnie Was There, Ponyo, The Tale of Princess Kaguya & From Up On Poppy Hill. They’re all so deep, dark, cute, retrospective in their own ways. I must say, I really did enjoy Spirited Away, Kiki’s Delivery Service & Howl’s Moving Castle for their furry / fantasical / inanimate characters but the one that struck me the most was definitely When Marnie was There.

The theme of ancestral or generational trauma in the movie is something that struck really close to home. The part that left the deepest impression was how it protrayed generational trauma being unknowingly passed down through one’s family of origin when we’re not careful to be self aware, leaving our children to carry its burden in this life and the lives of those they would subsequently create.

As a child of both parents who were children of emotional neglect, all of us as offsprings within our family of origin struggled to understand what healthy love looked like. We never saw it in our parents, grandparents great-grandparents during our formative years and we passed on our version of what love is to the people around us. We carried those feelings of inadequacy in our bodies, buried so deep in places we're not sure how to release it. Ultimately, it gets projected in the way we raise our children, the way we talk & interact with them.

As 2020 came to a close, counselling brought me plenty of affirmation and understanding about how the generational trauma in my family might look like - through the continuous analysis & observations of childhood stories and life events that my parents had shared over the years. It's very eye-opening and a little heart-breaking to see all the ways they never felt loved and how it ate them up on the inside. It also brought me great relief to know that there is a reason and process as to how my parents became the way they were; people I'd spent my whole life resenting because they couldn't meet the idealistic expectations of perfect parenting that I'd projected and hope they would be. It helps me to take their actions less personally and really look at their intentions - they always care, they just never really know how to show it, and that may never change.

I've been thinking alot about my personal goals for 2021 and through counselling & other bouts of clarity, I've been guided to what my counselor calls "my spiritual mission":

- break the cycle of ancestral/generational trauma by effecting positive change in my family

- learning to communicate more effectively & helping people to feel heard & release their negative emotions.

My counsellor's goal for me is to become a counsellor myself within my family - to enable them to talk about their feelings more often instead of avoiding them like they've always done. She says that while it might seem like alot of pressure & that I'll have to be extremely patient, it's also all very exciting.

In many ways, I'm thankful to have this deep mutual understanding with a professional who is as invested in my well being as I am and who expects zero reciprocity in return. It's freeing and something that I wish more people acknowledge as a true benefit of being in therapy in our society.

As I end off this post, I wanted to leave this quote that brought me much clarity and is pivotal point in my spiritual journey thus far. My hope is that many more will realize that this obscure concept of ancestral/generational trauma is and could be the biggest source of unreleased resentment and regret in our lives, especially for folks who never grew up with healthy, secure parents.