#is going to force himself to swim despite his trauma

[galamerapple]

starting a collection

[lendeah]

The currents of destiny

Chapter 2: Power hungry.

Summary: G'Axir shows Astarion what his life would be like had Tav carried on with the Ascension ritual. Pairing: Astarion x Fem!Reader/Tav Word Count: 3.3k Tags: Heavy Angst, Psychological Trauma, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Psychological Torture (kind of), Emotional Manipulation, Verbal Abuse, but just chapter 2, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending.

[AO3 Link]

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NOTE: PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS/TAGS BEFORE PROCEEDING. DARK CHAPTER. THANK YOU.

Before Astarion could protest or question further, a blinding white light engulfed him and G'axir both. He felt himself being pulled through space and time, his body weightless and disoriented.

Suddenly, he regained control of his body. And his breath was caught in his throat: he was in front of Cazador, his master still alive and well. His companions were a few meters away, watching him with apprehension. In an incredible turn of events, he had been transported back in time to just a few hours earlier. He attempted to call out to them, but his mouth moved on its own before he could say anything.

"Help me do this, please"

Astarion's heart dropped as he realized what was happening. He was a helpless spectator, forced to watch his own actions unfold without any control. He watched Tav's face, the conflict swimming in her eyes.

"We would kill all these people... seven thousand, Astarion. Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly.

"These people died years ago trust me on that. All that's left a feral spawn, desperate for blood. If we release them how many people will they kill? Tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands?" he replied, but he sensed he was trying to convince himself just as much as Tav.

In the past, this was the point when Tav had refused to assist him. Now, however, she looked torn, her brows furrowed as she considered his offer.

"If I complete the ritual... think of the power I'll have. With me by your side we can we can save the city - we can save ourselves!" Astarion could hear the desperation in his own voice and he hated himself for it.

He could feel everything his mind was going through at that moment: fear, hunger for power, and a sense of desperate urgency. But amidst it all, he also saw the turmoil reflected in Tav's eyes. He could see the internal struggle she was facing, the weight of the decision weighing heavily on her shoulders, something he hadn't noticed before.

After a few seconds, he could sense the parasite quivering inside his mind, the telltale sign that Tav was opening her mind to him. The moment their minds linked, Tav's presence flooded his senses, and he saw himself through her eyes, standing in front of Cazador, his back to her revealing the intricate design of his scars. He felt her emotions; the trembling anxiety and deep concern, but also the unwavering trust she had in him.

Despite himself, he couldn't help but be curious about the potential outcome. The power and control that completing this ritual would bring were too enticing to ignore. And with Tav's help, he could finally get revenge on Cazador and be truly free.

After that, the vision blurred and flashed, a dizzying array of images assaulting Astarion's mind. He saw himself marking Cazador's back with the complex patterns that adorned his own back. Then, the image shifted and he was throwing his master into the very place that should have been his. In that moment, a blinding flash of red washed over Astarion and he felt an overwhelming surge of power coursing through his body. His senses were overloaded, his mind expanding to absorb all the knowledge and abilities that came with the ascension. It was like being struck by lightning, a rush that left him breathless and reeling. He repeated a series of words, an enchantment that felt unfamiliar on his tongue.

And after another flash, Astarion felt... nothing. No fear, no hunger, nothing at all. What is going on?

His surroundings slowly came into focus: the ground beneath him strewn with the bodies of his siblings, all lifeless and still. Blood stained the walls and floor, a stark contrast to the pristine stone that adorned them before. His body turned to look at Tav and his companions, who were still watching him from the sidelines. And they looked completely horrified at the sight.

"What have you done?!" Karlach screamed.

But his body, that other version of him, still didn't feel anything. The Ascended version of himself - stronger, more powerful than ever before – remained expressionless. A sickening realization hit him like a punch to the gut - his siblings, seven thousand souls, Sebastian, the Gur children... all dead because of him. And at that moment, Astarion felt a surge of guilt and shame wash over him. He couldn't believe what he had done. He had been consumed by his hunger for power, driven by his past self's desperation.

I didn't mean... I didn't think... Astarion stammered, trying to come to terms with what had just happened. But the words were lost in the void of his consciousness.

"Astarion…" Tav's voice was filled with disbelief and sadness. "Has this... really been worth it?" her voice cracked with disappointment, the sadness and guilt in her eyes too much for Astarion to bear.

He could feel the pain radiating off Tav. He needed to reach out, comfort her... but he couldn't. He was trapped inside his mind, a prisoner in his own flesh.

His body moved towards Tav slowly; reached out and cupped her cheek gently with its hand.

"I did it for you, for us," he whispered softly, running its thumb against her bruised and tear-streaked cheek.

And yet… as he saw the raw pain etched into her features; as he watched tears welling up in her eyes, spilling over and streaking down her cheeks; as he heard her whisper his name one more time – filled with sadness, disappointment, and an indescribable heartbreak – he felt nothing. His body felt nothing but pride and greed for more power. And the thought terrified him to his very core.

“Trust me, Tav,” His voice spoke on its own accord, before his consciousness was moving again.

He couldn't see anything else around him, just the overwhelming brightness that seemed to swallow him whole. When Astarion opened his eyes, the stone and debris had been replaced with pristine white walls adorned with elegant artwork. As he took in his new surroundings, a soft breeze tickled his skin and the gentle sounds of seagulls filled his ears. He was gazing out the floor-to-ceiling windows, the sparkling blue sea stretching out before him. He was no longer in the ruins of his past; he had been transported to a beautiful seaside bedroom.

Confusion filled his mind as he tried to make sense of what was happening. Was this another vision? Or was this reality?

His body turned from the windows to the space next to him, and he realized Tav was standing in front of him, looking... tired. And bruised.

"I really can't believe you let me do that... killing all those people..." Ascended Astarion chuckled darkly, "such a pleasant surprise."

He saw the guilt etched on her face, the sadness. Astarion felt his stomach churn at the thought that Tav might hate him for what he had done. But I didn't mean to...

Astarion's body walked towards Tav, reaching out to cup her face gently in its hand. But instead of the usual warmth and tenderness he felt towards her, there was only disgust. His body was repulsed by her weakness.

"I... I just wanted what was best for you," she replied softly, looking at her hands.

"You sweet, sweet thing," His body spoke in a mocking tone, the hand that once held such tenderness now gripping Tav's chin tightly, making her look at him. "I want what's best for you too, of course. And... one wicked turn deserves another."

Wait, what? Astarion felt a cold and ugly realization seep into his mind. Could he really mean... No, he wouldn't...

"Isn't that what you want, pet?" his body continued.

No. No she doesn't want it. What is this?! Stop this! "I-I just want you to be happy. I want us to stay together," Tav's voice trembled as she tried to reason with his body.

"Is that so?" His body countered. "You're the one that I want, the one that I love and you could be so much more if you want it. One little bite, and you could be mine, forever..." his ascended version said. But Astarion could taste de lie on his tongue. He wanted to make her his spawn.

And at that moment, Astarion felt pure unadulterated terror like he had never felt before. No! No no no! Astarion screamed, clawing at the invisible bars of his conscience. Please, no! Not her! Astarion's screams echoed inside his head as he watched his body move closer to Tav, his eyes glinting with hunger and desire for control. But it was no use. He was trapped inside his own nightmare, forced to relive the horrors of his past as he became the monster that once ruled over him.

His body was now leaning towards her, close enough to feel her soft breath against his lips, close enough to see the fear in her eyes – a fear he could not respond to. "Say it, love," it cooed dangerously, its voice a haunting echo of seductive promises.

"I... I..." Tav stuttered, her trembling hands tightly clutching the front of his shirt.

"Are you ready to join me? To accept this immortal gift? Say yes..." a commanding whisper slipped past his lips against his will, dark hunger coursing through his body. Astarion felt his soul scream in agony, unable to alter the horrible course he had set them on. Because he already knew that look in her eyes, that determination. It was the look she had when standing up for him against his siblings, the one she wore while letting him drink from her every night, the look she gave him on the night she confessed her love. The look that said she would do anything and everything for him.

Slowly, her lips moved, and a small whisper escaped them. "I love you..."

No! Astarion's soul shrieked inside his mind, but the body wasn't listening. Astarion tried to push back against the darkness, to will his body to do something, anything, to stop itself.

As tears streamed down her face, she whispered a tearful "yes." He longed to comfort her, to promise that everything would be okay and to protect her from the monstrous version of himself.

But it was too late.

His physical form gave into a cruel grin as she submitted to his will, and Astarion could feel its disgust at her degradation, at her weakness.

"I knew you'd come around..."

His body gently captured Tav's soft weeping face between his hands, his thumbs brushing away the mournful tears on her cheeks. "Such a good girl," his voice was honeyed darkness, "You'll be so beautiful... everlasting... My dark consort."

His body slowly pushed Tav down to the floor, her back resting against the cold stone. It was a cruel twist of fate that the one person who had shown him kindness and acceptance would now become his first slave. Tav closed her eyes as he pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. The irony wasn't lost on Astarion, he was giving her a lover's kiss before death.

As his body pulled away from the kiss, his icy fingers traced down from her throat to the collar of her shirt. He slowly peeled it off to bare her neck, not breaking eye contact. "Tonight I shall drink every drop of your blood, own your body, kill your mind. It will hurt a bit, but worry not; the pleasure will be far greater than the pain." his body said, grinning wolfishly at Tav who was paralyzed in fear, yet rooted in love.

She was heaving, fear evident in her features. "P-please, just... be gentle."

No! Please, don't kill her! Not her! Astarion's conscience screamed for him to stop, to save the woman he loves from this fate. But he was powerless, trapped inside his own body as it lowered its head towards her exposed neck. The scent of her blood, warm and sweet filled his nostrils. His fangs bore into her flesh and released a mouthful of hot crimson life that made Astarion's instinctual heart pound with excitement even as his soul recoiled in horror.

He felt completely helpless as he witnessed his own body draining the life from Tav, not even able to look away. He was forced to listen to her soft gasps and whimpers, unable to do anything to stop it. The person he loved more than anyone else was slowly dying at his own hands. He could do nothing but watch as she lay on the floor, surrounded by a pool of blood, her once vibrant skin now pale and her lips lacking their usual rosy color. Those same lips that he had loved to kiss and watch curve into an easy smile were now still and lifeless.

If he could have shed tears, he would have wept in despair and regret. If he were in his own physical form, he knew he would be retching now. But he could do nothing but scream and claw, the pain all consuming in his soul.

After what seemed like an eternity, his body finally pulled away from Tav's neck and stood up straight. He wiped the blood off his lips with the back of his hand and looked down at Tav's lifeless body with a sense of triumph.

"You were delicious as always, dear," his voice echoed inside Astarion's mind.

And just like that, he was once again drifting through the vast emptiness of space. But his exhaustion and defeat were so overwhelming that he couldn't bring himself to care.

When the light faded after what seemed like hours, Astarion found himself standing in a familiar place - Cazador's Palace once again. But this time, it was... different. At first, he couldn't pinpoint it. But then, he noticed: the paintings on the wall didn't depict his former master anymore. He froze as he watched the stranger with white hair and red eyes watching him from the portrait. The man's face was unknown, but something about him felt...familiar. Remnants from another life.

He couldn't look away from those piercing red eyes that seemed to bore into his soul. His body stepped closer, reaching out a hand to touch the painting.

And he realized, it wasn't a stranger; it was himself. Older, more weathered, and with a haunting look in his red eyes. The first time he was seeing his face in 200 years. His finger slid over the canvas, feeling the rough texture beneath his touch. There was pride emanating from this version of himself and it sent shivers down his spine.

What is this? he whispered inside his mind, his voice cracking with emotion.

The realm of possibilities... that might have unfolded had you embraced ascension... your destiny left unfulfilled... G'axir's voice echoed through his subconscious.

Astarion's stomach churned as his body moved around the room. Everything had been changed. The furniture was placed differently, new artwork adorned the walls, but it still retained its eerie and dark atmosphere as it did with his old master. As he traversed down a never-ending corridor, his steps echoed loudly in the eerie silence. Servants scurried past him, their heads bowed in reverence. But there was something off about them, almost as if they were under some sort of spell. Their movements were stiff and mechanical, and their eyes lacked any emotion or life.

After what felt like an eternity, his body finally reached the grand dining hall. Two servants dressed in impeccably crisp uniforms opened the massive doors for him. The room was filled with the warm, flickering light of numerous candles, illuminating the extravagant decorations adorning the walls. A long table stretched across the room, set with elegant china and silverware that could only belong to a king. But there was no one sitting at the table, creating a strange emptiness in the room. His body continued past the elaborate table, towards a magnificent throne that now stood at the far end of the room.

No. No, no, no.

There, atop the throne, draped in garments more regal than his master Cazador had ever let him wear, sat Tav. Her skin was nearly translucent, veins snaking just beneath the surface like tendrils of a creeping vine. Her eyes radiated an unnatural crimson glow that revealed her spawn nature. Tav's face held no familiarity in its gaze; only vacant submission under her crimson eyes. She looked nothing like the woman he had known - stubborn, fierce, and full of life. Now all that remained was an empty shell drained of hope and vitality, turned into a puppet. The sight of it made his stomach flip. This could not be happening. It was a nightmare.

He watched, appalled, as his body ascended the steps to the throne with a predatory grace. She, on the other hand, stood from the throne, head bowed in submission. He took his place on the seat, pulling Tav onto his lap. She sat there silently, not moving or uttering a single word.

I'm so sorry Astarion whispered brokenly inside his head.

And then, horror upon horror, his body began to speak.

"My beautiful pet," he murmured into the hollow of her neck. "Isn't it a delight to see how far we've come?"

She met the gaze of her new master with an impassive face - a puppet on strings. "Of course. I couldn't be happier, my lord," she replied, though her face remained impassive, not even a ghost of an emotion flickering in her eyes. Her body seemed rigid, save for the slight tremble that shook her form.

She didn't fight back or resist, which only fueled the anger of his ascended self. He could sense its thoughts; how she was now dull and uninteresting, lacking all the fire and fight that she once had.

"Ah, so compliant..." his mouth whispers, tracing a thumb along her jawline - a horribly intimate act that made Astarion's heart lurch in revulsion. "But you've been very bad, trying to sneak out at night," his body continued, pressing its lips against Tav's neck in a mock kiss. "And you know what we do to naughty pets..."

Astarion's mind was filled with revulsion and disgust at the scene happening before him. His worst fear had come true: he had used and abused her feelings until there was nothing left of the person she used to be. He couldn't believe he had almost let himself become so consumed by power. He couldn't believe he had begged for Tav to turn him into this. Into... his master.

He had everything he had ever wanted: power, control, and Tav by his side. And yet, holding all this in his grasp, his body felt empty. Devoid of any emotion. The ritual had given him everything he had hoped for, and he had paid the price with his soul.

"Now," the voice continued, "I think it’s time you show your master just how truly sorry you are."

Ascended Astarion's hand tightened around her throat as he dragged her towards his lips. She struggled against his grip, clawing at his arm and gasping for air, but he was too strong.

"NO! Astarion, please!" She begged, out of breath.

Astarion was panicking, searching for a way out of this nightmare. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't break free from his own body's control. As Astarion's mind reached its breaking point, G'Axir's voice echoed back in his head.

In your gaze... the aftermath unfolds... revealing the life consumed by an insatiable hunger for power. G'Axir supplies in his mind. Prepared to venture forth... into the next glimpse?

Astarion could feel his sanity slipping away as he pleaded, Stop this, I beg you! I will do anything but please get me the fuck out of here!

And finally, the vision stopped.

Note: Oof, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions, hard torturous version. I promise next chapters will be lighter than this one. Also, I think I have left my Astarion traumatized (even more). LMK if you want to be added to a taglist :)

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[rottenrosethorns]

I see your looking for request, so I was more than happy to show up in your inbox

I came up with this randomly - anyway. Leon plans a weekend getaway/vacation for him and the reader. Somewhere where they can go swimming (beach,lake etc etc). Leon needs to relieve some tension. Leon and the reader share romantic night swim together totally on a whim, and just enjoy each other’s company, and tiny bit of smut just to top it all off.

much love x

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x afab!reader 

Genre: Fluff, Smut 

Synopsis: Disaster after disaster, Leon’s weekend plans seem to come to an unfortunate end; however, you convince him to try one last resort at a secluded campsite off the side of the road. 

Word Count: 4.4K 

Warning: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT; swimming, bugs, unprotected sex, vanilla romantic sex 

A/N: all of my a/n are like “sorry for taking so long” and “it’s longer than expected” lmao. Thank you anon for requesting, i hope you like it! I really hope i got the romance translated through the story (if its subpar, im sorry, im tragically single LMAO) 

__________

- masterlist - 

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“Hey, hey, look at me,” You reached across the center console to cup Leon’s cheek and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, “Everything’s going to be okay, alright?”

Your voice hushes into a comforting whisper as you rubbed Leon’s cheek with a sad pout. Thankfully, your kiss seemed to soften his disarray of emotions as his frustrated wrinkles eased away as he let out a quick huff. Leon’s eyes were set looking through the windshield, avoiding your eyes at all costs as he wanted to avoid you picking up on his embarrassment. But, even without looking at him, you always knew what emotion he was feeling. You could clearly tell that Leon was disappointed in himself despite your attempts at reassurance. Leon sighed loudly, resting his elbow on the driver’s door as he looked down with his forehead resting in his left hand, “Everything was supposed to be perfect.” 

Optimistically, you tried to offer him a smile, but even you knew that you couldn’t argue with him about that one. Nothing was ever perfect, but this weekend trip was far from smooth sailing. Leon – being the vacation desperate man that he is – took the first chance to get out of town and booked a picturesque shoreside cabin for the extended weekend. It’s been way too long since he’s had a break, and all he wanted to do was spend time with you while reconnecting with nature. Well, the latter part was more so a suggestion from Leon’s therapist to which you essentially forced him to start seeing. Although he deemed it unnecessary even with his success of departing from the hardships of his trauma, Leon only agreed to comply with the treatments if you were doing them with him which included you enjoying the calmness that nature offered as well. A win is a win, you suppose. 

However, not everyone could be winners without losing once or twice, and Leon seemed to be on a streak today. With the cabin site a hefty four hours away from home, you were bound to run into some mishaps. But those mishaps quickly turned into mayhem as you faced the tribulations of Leon losing and finding his wallet, changing a flat tire on the highway, getting pulled over and let go with a warning, nearly missing a deer kissing the front bumper, and much, much more. Leon felt like he was fighting for his life more so on this road trip than being on an actual work mission. The only difference being that his enemy was the invisible universe instead of the normal mutated creatures and undead humans. 

Upon struggling to reach the cabinsite, Leon was relieved to pull into the parking lot of the front office and finally settle down after the hectic events of the day. But as if his trip couldn’t get any worse, the receptionist at the cabinsite pitifully informed you both that Leon’s booking confirmation never went through and that there were unfortunately no vacancies for the rest of the weekend. So now, you were both back in Leon’s car as he tried his best not to blow a fuse from the abundance of misfortunes. 

Just as you were about to respond back to him, your eyes shifted from Leon towards your phone screen that just lit up from being drained of its battery. Leon mistook your untimely silence as if you were condemning him at fault for being the reason why this trip was so disastrous. As he went to shift away from you, you quickly reached out and embraced his hands in yours, “We’re still going to have fun, okay? We’ve got a couple hours until sundown and I think I have an idea.” 

“You sure? If you don’t want to, we can go back home,” Leon offered with a downward turn on his lips. As much as he hated the idea of going back home and sitting idly within those same four walls of the house, Leon didn’t want you to feel as if you were being forced along with him to share the unexpected hardships of the road-trip. 

“Didn’t you say you wanted to reconnect with nature?” You laughed to yourself, already finding the imagery of Leon frolicking in the grass like some Disney princess amusing, “Let’s go here, I saw it on the way.”

Leon leaned over to look at the location you’d pull up on your phone, showing a small and secluded campsite hidden on the side of the road. Leon inspected the images with a skeptical look, “Are you sure? Those pictures seem kinda old, what if it’s not what it looks like anymore?”

You shrugged, “Then, we’ll find out and see.” 

“We don’t even have camping supplies.”

“Then, we get them.”

You and Leon stared at each other in silence as the proposition sunk in. After a moment, Leon sighed and started the car’s engine to drive off wherever you directed him to go. A part of him hoped that you wanted to tell him to turn around and go home, but the other part of him still wanted the weekend events to work out. After a bit more convincing, you managed to dissipate all his doubts and initiated yourself to take the responsibility for the rest of the trip. Although he was disappointed that his plans fell through, Leon couldn’t bring himself to put in more effort in the trip. During the ride, you constantly reassured him that nothing bad would happen although you both knew you really couldn’t promise that. It didn’t stop you from believing nonetheless. 

You directed Leon for a while until the car stopped at the nearest department store where you gathered all the necessary camping supplies and whatever food you wanted to last you the weekend. Thankfully, Leon’s mood started to brighten up as he chose your favorite snacks and even offered to buy you a cute stuffed teddy bear to keep you company. Was he slightly jealous that you were beaming at the plush? Maybe. But, he’d buy you anything to keep that smile on your face. 

Once satisfied with the purchase, you both departed the parking lot and drove until you found yourselves going down a tiny dirt path. The further you went down the road you started to second guess whether or not this was a good idea. It was a good half of a mile drive from the main road, and you were skeptical if there was even going to be a nice scene at the end of the road to settle in. The dirt road quickly started to disappear as the path became more and more overgrown as if no one had driven over it for quite some time. You cringed at the sound of the tree branches scratching the sides of Leon’s car as the edge of the forest got narrower. You really didn’t want the campsite to be bad and dampen Leon’s mood even more. You knew how much he needed a break, and you wanted to help make that happen. 

As you progressed deeper into the forest, the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach worsened. Leon seemed to notice your skepticism, “You sure this is the right place?”

You let out a nervous giggle, tightening your hold around your teddy bear, “Yes?”

Leon shook his head, unsure whether or not to believe you, yet he continued to drive forward blindly. You felt yourself holding your breath in anticipation as the thick trees looming over the road started to clear up. You lurched forward in your seat, rubbing your eyes from thinking that you saw something in the distance. As Leon approached, a laser flash of the sun’s reflection flashed your squinting eyes before you started to piece shining ripples on a water’s surface, “Is that a lake?”

Upon completely entering the clearing, your eyes were welcomed with a wide yet humble campground peacefully secluded from the main road. The campsite was equipped with a circle of rocks acting as a firepit with a small path leading down towards the sandbank and access to the lake from a wooden dock at the shore. Utterly breath taken from the sight before you, you awed the sheer capacity of the view. The lake was essentially crystal clear surrounded with rocks, cliff ledges, assortment of lush green trees, and a mountain. It was exactly what you’d see in a painting.  

Leon pulled off to the side, parked the car, and hopped out eagerly to deeply inhale the fresh scent of pine. You quickly followed after Leon and leaping into his arms for an open hug while laughing, “Is this okay?”

Leon snuggled into you, feeling happy for the first time today, “No, this is perfect, maybe even better than the cabin.” 

Leon tightened his arms for a moment as a silent thank you for your suggestion before putting you down and turning to soak himself in the view as well. While he was looking away, you couldn’t help but put yourself at ease from watching the smile on Leon’s face grow as the relief washed over him. 

You kissed his cheek and glanced at the campsite again, “Let’s set up for dinner before the sun goes down.” 

You and Leon tagged team setting up the tent and making dinner before sitting yourselves at the edge of the dock to eat and relax. 

“Can you believe that there’s places like this that actually exist?” You breathed a sigh of awe as you watched the reflection of the setting sun shimmer against the breeze induced ripples on the lake's surface. 

Unfortunately, your moment was partially ruined by some flying insects invading your vision and coming a bit too close for comfort as you swatted them away chaotically. Just as your bravery was set to dissipate, Leon aided in swatting the small swarm away. Shivering from the imaginative feeling of bugs crawling on your skin, you groaned in discomfort while rolling your eyes, “My knight and shining armor.”

“Is this your token of gratitude?” Leon feigned hurt by putting a hand over his heart dramatically, “Even after I aided your distress?”

You pushed him away with a laugh, yet your arms returned to rub them over your skin subconsciously. Even when you knew you were safe, you still felt vulnerable, especially out in the open, “I hate bugs.”

Leon hummed in acknowledgement as he intensely peered out into the scenic lake before perking up suddenly, “I have an idea!”

You eyed him suspiciously, moving your torso away and holding your hands up cautiously, “Uh-oh.”

“It’s not even dangerous,” Leon rolled his eyes, “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

You blinked, “Yeah, I don’t know about that one.”

“When have I ever put you in danger?”

“Let’s see,” You pointed each finger up, counting off the events as you recalled them, “Vegas, New York, LA – oh, don’t forget China too!”

“Alright! Alright!” Leon huffed with an exaggerated pout, “You have a point.”

“I always have a point,” You smiled in triumph, “Now-”

Leon cut you off by suddenly standing up and offering you a hand. You peered at his hand for a moment before shifting your eyes to his as you both silently communicated. Eventually, you decided to take his hand and let him lead you to wherever he planned to; however, instead of helping you stand up like you anticipated him to, Leon had pulled you forward and used the momentum of your imbalance to throw your body against his as he engulfed you in a hug and threw your bodies into the lake. 

Closing your eyes and holding your breath, you were completely submerged in the cool water. As quickly as it happened, you felt Leon’s hands grab your waist and help you break the surface and take a deep gasp for air. 

“Seriously, Leon?" You wiped the water droplets off your face and pushed your hair back,  "What are you like ten?" 

Leon’s hands moved from your waist to the back of your thighs and guided them to wrap around his waist as he floated around in the water. Leon smirked as you securely wrapped your arms around his neck, afraid to drift too far from him although you were safely near the shore’s edge, “Feels nice, doesn’t it?”

You were about to question what he meant by that before you realized that the cool sensation of the water wore off the icky feeling of the bugs crawling on your skin. Upon seeing your face, Leon laughed in satisfaction, knowing that he was right. 

“Shut up,” You mumbled. 

Leon leaned into you closer, teasingly hovering his lips near yours, “What was that?”

“I said-” You took your chance to release his neck, cup a pocket of water in your hands, and splash Leon in the face. 

Leon released you, giving you a chance to swim away before becoming a victim to his revenge. You can’t remember how long you were in the lake for, but you definitely are going to remember the memories of laughing and smiling with Leon for the rest of your life. Before you knew it, the sun was barely over the horizon as the black and blue sky began to overtake the pink and orange hues. While distracted from looking at the sky, Leon swam towards you. 

“Come on, you’re getting cold,” Leon helped you gain your footing as you both trudged towards the firepit soaking wet. 

You squeezed out the hem of your shirt in efforts to reduce the amount of water on you; however, you remained drenched no matter how much you twisted and wrung the fabric. Turning towards Leon, you meant to ask him which bag he packed the towels to retrieve them but was promptly stopped upon seeing him sling off his shirt and wringing it out. You gulped as you watched the veins trailing down his arms to his hands enhanced as he tightly gripped the fabric of his shirt. Now with the moon high in the sky, Leon’s bare skin seemed to glitter as his muscles flexed. 

You felt like you would’ve stayed there forever had your thoughts not been interrupted from Leon’s chuckle, “Can I help you?”

Adverting your eyes and clearing your throat loudly, you awkwardly pointed towards his car, “Um, I'm gonna get the towels. Which – uh, which bag did you put them in?”

“I didn’t pack towels.”

“You,” Your jaw slacked, “You what?”

Leon shrugged, taking a nearby stick and propping it upwards in the ground near the fire and hung his shirt to dry, “I figured the cabin would’ve provided some, so I didn’t pack any.” 

You stood there dumbfounded, knowing that Leon did have a point despite his lack of preparedness, “We can’t stay wet like this, we’ll get sick.”

“There’s a fire right here,” Leon stated like it was obvious before hooking his thumbs around his waistband and stripping himself from his pants and undergarments. 

You gasped loudly, turning your back towards him as your wide eyes did their best to avoid being flashed, “Leon!” 

Your voice echoed out into the forest as Leon’s boisterous laugh filled the air as he slung the rest of his clothes over another stick, “Come on, it’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.” 

Heat flushes your face as you bite the inside of your cheek from the imagery of Leon being completely unclothed, most times from events when you both were getting intimate, “T-That’s different!” 

You knew Leon rolled his eyes from the tone of his voice, “You can turn around now, I’ve got clothes on.”

Slowly, you peeked at Leon, making sure he was telling the truth before committing to fully view him. True to his word, Leon had dressed himself with his previous outfit hanging near the fire. He handed you your clothes he managed to grab and set up another row of sticks to set your wet clothes to dry. 

When he noticed you were still frozen in place, Leon asked, “What’s wrong?”

Quietly, you mumbled, “Can you turn around?”

Leon paused his movements before a wide smirk flashed across his lips, “What was that?”

“I said,” You huffed, annoyed, “Turn around!” 

Leon snickered at your embarrassment but ultimately complied as he turned his back towards you and patiently waited until you handed him your sopping clothes to be hung on his makeshift clothing line. Once you finished dressing and hanging your clothes to dry, you noticed Leon shuffling about inside the tent. You watched as Leon basically disassembled the bedding setup and placed it outside near the campfire, “You know those are supposed to go inside the tent, right?” 

For a while, you tried to decipher what he was doing while urging yourself not to scold him for placing the sheets on the dirt. Leon would set the sheets in one spot, crane his neck upwards before moving the sheets to another spot before doing the same thing again and again until he settled on a spot to his liking. He was a bit of a perfectionist and his wide smile proved that point even more as he sat down and patted the spot next to him eagerly. Playing along, you seat yourself next to Leon and follow suit as you both laid on the sheets to look up at the night sky. There you saw the blanket of darkness with billions of stars that seemed to glow brighter than it did in the city.

“See the big dipper?” Leon took his hand and placed it over yours with your pointer outwards as he stretched your arm out towards the sky and traced the shape of the constellation, “And, there’s the little one.” 

Leon continued to look up at the stars and educate you about the history of each constellation and the mysteries of outer space. You listened intently, soaking every story and fact that he had to tell, “Since when did you know all this stuff? I thought you hated astronomy and horoscopes.”

Leon shrugged, “I do, but then I watched this documentary.”

You laughed incredulously before returning to awe at the glittering specks above you, tracing the constellations’ patterns over and over again. From the forest to the lake to the stars, you felt at peace in the countryside and a part of you wondered whether you could make a life with Leon out here far into the future. While looking at the stars, a quick linear flash of light darted across the tail end of the Little Dipper, “Leon, a shooting star! Make a wish!” 

Instinctively, you brought your hands up to your chest in a mock prayer while dragging Leon’s hand in yours as you closed your eyes and made your wish. After a moment of silence, you turned towards Leon, only to be surprised that he was looking at you the whole time. Leon chuckled at your reaction, “What’d you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you, silly, or it won’t come true.”

“Fair,” Leon said without glancing away at you, “You want to know what my wish was?”

“It won’t come true if you tell me,” You said in a hush just above a whisper, noticing the twinkling in Leon’s eyes became brighter than the stars above you.

“What if it already came true?” 

Leon’s eyes traced the features of your face as the campfire’s flames illuminated your complexion. Slowly, Leon brought up a hand to cup your cheek as his thumb softly traced your bottom lip, “Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t have to ask,” You whispered. 

Immediately, Leon pressed his lips to yours in a loving embrace, only moving his lips slowly as if to slow down time and relish the feelings of this moment. You melted into his kiss much like all of his others, but you yearned for more as you broke the kiss to straddle his lap. Sitting up, Leon rested his hands at your hips as you wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kisses you gave him. Grinding yourself onto Leon’s hardness, you helped each other take off your shirts before Leon dove forward to pepper kisses along your neck and collarbone. You arched your back, easing access for Leon to leave a few marks behind. Leon trailed his hands up and down your exposed back before dipping them into the hem of your shorts and gathered the fabric of your underwear in a gentle tug, causing the friction to rub against your clit. 

Leon pulled back for a moment, chest heaving from lust, “Are you sure you want this?”

“This isn’t our first time,” You giggled, running your fingers through his messy hair. 

“I know,” Leon said with his eyes flickering from your eyes to your swollen lips, “I’m just checking.”

“For?”

“If you want this,” Leon hesitated, pressing his lips in a fine line, “If you want me.”

You sat back, arms dropping to your sides as you peered at your lover confused. Leon rarely ever questioned your reasoning for staying with him despite all his history and his flaws. But, it was when the crackle of the fire paired with an extra large flicker of flame flashed the raw emotion of uncertainty in Leon’s eyes when you understood that it was the insecurity of all his history and all his flaws which clouded his mind with doubt. You had to step back and see things from his perspective for a moment. Of course, Leon was used to disasters in his everyday life, but now with all the great memories he’s created today, he was scared to lose it all now that the night was coming to an end. 

Knowing this, you smiled at him, holding his jawline with both hands as you pressed a passionate kiss to his lips. Leon responded with equal passion, but you could still sense a twinge of doubt within him. You pulled away, just enough to hover your lips over his as you rested your foreheads upon another, “Let me show you that I want this, that I want you.”

Leon gulped, eyes flickering between yours before slowly nodding and letting you take the lead. Taking his hands off your hips, you slid off his lap to fully undress yourself and guided him to do the same before reclaiming your place. You sat back, allowing enough space for you to dip your hand between your legs to grab Leon’s dick and slowly pump him at the base. Leon took a sharp inhale, eyes focused on your working hand. It didn’t take him long to get fully erect before you trailed your hand further up his shaft to drag his tip and spread your lubricant from pussy lips to clit. You spread the slickness along his shaft, causing him to hiss from the ease, “Don’t you need to prep? I can-”

You hushed him, “I’ll be fine, I need you in me right now.”

Leon twitched at your words, salivating from your eagerness. He didn’t want to lose his composure so quickly especially since you seemed to be holding on so well, but he was just as desperate to be in you and you were for him. Taking him back in your hand, you raised your weight in your knees and positioned yourself to take him in. Slowly, you sank down, allowing yourself the luxury of the initial painful stretch before using your body weight to bottom out. Leon’s face contorted with pleasure, using every ounce of self control that he could muster not to move your hips up and downwards as you took a moment to adjust to his size. Leon closed his eyes, taking shaky deep breaths in and out. 

You knew it was evil, but you purposefully prolonged your adjustment just to see Leon in this state. You found it endearing to see him so frustrated as you essentially cockwarmed him, but you knew you couldn’t keep this up for too long before Leon would turn the tables on you and make you regret testing his patience. So, with one last look of desperation on his face, you finally pumped your hips against his and took all of him. You hugged his wide shoulders and bit down on his skin as you dragged your walls against his veiny cock. The heat of your core plus the heat of the fire ignited a flush within you as the ember glow filled the air around you. 

Leon chose to show his appreciation by gripping your waist to push you back and leaving open mouth kisses on your breast and nipples. You arched your back, using his shoulders to hold for leverage as you continued to pump yourself on him. You could feel yourself beginning to tightened as you approached your finish and surely Leon could feel it too; however, Leon repositioned his hands to lift you off of him and on the blanket, so that you were lying on your back. 

“I was almost done,” You looked up at him with a pout from your stolen climax before a moan from your lips pierced the air as Leon entered you again. 

“I know, baby,” Leon hovered over you, lips on the shell of your ear as he whispered, “I just wanted to show you how much I wanted you too.”

With newfound passion, Leon rose back up and relentlessly pounded into your cunt. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head with pleasure as you gripped his veiny forearms to keep yourself from shifting away due to his force. You cried out into the night air as your moans and whimpers became lost in the wilderness. Lost in the feeling of Leon’s heavy thrusts, you hadn’t realized he took your hands in his as he continued his pace. 

“Please,” You gasped, “I’m almost there.”

You felt the familiar clench in your gut as Leon aimed at an upwards angle, deliciously pressing against your g-spot. You gripped his hands harder as you begged him not to stop. Leon edged you on by whispering more dirty thoughts in your ear as he groaned between his speech. Once again, Leon’s lips found your their way up and down your neck before leaving hickeys around the soft skin of your breasts 

“Cum, baby, cum for me,” Leon thrusted one last time into you, hips stuttering as he held your hand and pushed himself impossibly deeper into you. You moaned loudly as you wrapped your legs around his sides and clenched around him as he pumped into you. You both laid there, taking a moment to catch your breaths before removing yourselves, cleaning up, and laying covered up to bask in each other’s after sex glow by the fire. 

“Thank you for a memorable weekend,” Leon caressed your cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” You kissed him lovingly and snuggled into his side to share his warmth. Although the fire was more than enough, it could never compare to the warmth and comfort that Leon gave you. 

“What should we do tomorrow?”

“Probably, get that tire properly fixed.” 

[destinysbounty]

We as a fandom do not talk about this scene nearly as much as we should

Like, I had already headcanoned that Nya's independent personality was a result of her upbringing, but the fact that this scene officially confirms it is just *chefs kiss*.

What I find so interesting about Kai and Nya is that their childhood trauma has very clearly effected personalities and overall characterizations. Both of them have lone wolf tendencies (albeit more so in earlier seasons), often tending to go their own way and handle their problems on their own instead of relying on the team. They both have anger issues and short tempers, struggling to process their emotions in a healthy way. And neither of them are comfortable with weakness and vulnerability, and tend to lash out when they feel cornered.

There's also the fact that, due to growing up as two kids forced to raise themselves and learn survive with limited assistance from their community, both of them are understandably afraid of feeling weak and vulnerable. What I find to be perhaps the most interesting part of all this is that despite sharing a similar fear, both of them have vastly different coping mechanisms for dealing with it.

For Kai, his fear of powerlessness manifests in a desire for more power - a desire to be the green ninja, a desire to protect his friends, a desire to be strong and heroic, and of course a difficulty with accepting the situation when he loses his powers. He has pretty seamlessly integrated his power into his persona as well, frequently referencing his abilities and praising his status as the master of fire arguably more so than any other character. He's quickly turned his power into a huge part of his identity. Every time he loses his powers, he tends to go into a bit of a depressive episode - in season 5 he developed a fear of water, and in season 11 he became so upset that he nearly quit being a ninja altogether. When he failed to save the Never Realm villagers from Boreal, he blamed himself for it by lamenting that he wasn't powerful enough to save them.

You get the idea. Point is, Kai doesn't like feeling weak, he doesn't like vulnerability, he doesn't like being the weak link or a liability holding everyone back. Personally, I would point to that insecurity as being the primary driving force for his determination to become the green ninja, but that's definitely up for debate.

And as for Nya, this fear has manifested as her being a fiercely independent perfectionist, equating mistakes and failure with weakness, and fearing failure to such an extreme extent that she either gives up anything she's not immediately good at, or completely ignores her problems and pretends everything is fine. Like in season 5 when Wu was training her to become the master of water. "I'm not weak, this bucket is weak! I'm good at everything else, why do I have to be good at filling buckets?!" Or her struggles to get along with her mother all throughout Seabound, knowing full well that she can't blame her mom for leaving but still not quite ready to have her mom in her life again. She also isn't good at asking for help either, often preferring to handle things on her own even at her own detriment, and often she has a hard time admitting when she's wrong as well.

Whenever traumatic things happen, she just steamrolls right past it, refusing to acknowledge her own grief for very long. At Zane's funeral the first thing she said was, "So...what happens after this?" In the face of Maya's repeated attempts to reconnect and talk about Nya's childhood trauma, Nya would often shrug her off or storm away or change the subject.

Maya tried to explain her reasons once - tried to explain that sacrificing yourself comes with immense collateral damage, often hurting the same people you're trying to protect, and says "That's just the way the cookie crumbles." But Nya can't bring herself to address what Maya is really getting at, instead swimming away and saying "I don't like crumbly cookies."

That's why her final words are so important to me. "Tell my mother I understand now. That's the way the cookie crumbles." Nya has finally come to terms with and accepted her mother's decision, accepted that not all solutions have perfect answers, and has finally confronted her own baggage once and for all. She understands why her mother left, she forgives her, and above all she, the team perfectionist, is making a decision that isn't perfect. A decision that will leave a lot of collateral damage, and will cause serious trauma to her loved ones. She knows that by leaving her friends behind and becoming one with the sea, she's hurting them the same way her mother's absence hurt her - but she does it anyway because it's the only way to save their lives.

And as she looks back to say goodbye to Jay one last time, she cries. She mouths the words "I love you" - something she'd never said out loud before. She lets herself be truly raw and vulnerable. Even during her death in Skybound, she was still trying to keep her up her strong and defensive facade, saying things like "I never wanted to be part of your boys' club anyway". Even on her deathbed, in that moment she can't bring herself to let down her walls all the way. But here, several seasons later, she has finally let herself be vulnerable enough to cry, to say goodbye, to say "I love you."

Nya may not be my favorite ninja, but she does have my favorite character arc. Her going from samurai to ninja was a controversial decision, but I really do think it was a good choice in the long run because it almost feels like it's symbolizing her growth - going from a lone wolf who insists on doing things by herself, to being part of a team and relying on her friends just as much as they rely on her.

Just...I love Nya so much. She needs a hug.

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

iwtv ep 3 rewatch thoughts

Louis: I don’t want you kill people anymore, there it is.

Lestat: A fish that doesn’t swim. A bird refusing to fly.

I’m borrowing this statement to use for Louis in this moment - I believe this is when Lestat diagnoses Louis with hysteria.

In this scene the power imbalance between them becomes defined more by patriarchal gender dynamics. Lestat dives into a more rigid paternalistic approach when dealing with what he perceives to be Louis’ irrational shame of being a vampire and going against his very nature despite what Lestat has been trying to teach him. This reading of their relationship is intentional. so much so that while he says this the focus of the camera pans out to frame a shot of Antoinette walking past and there’s a parallel shot of Louis and Lestat sitting at a table next to another couple, a man and a woman who are presumably husband and wife, where both husbands’ (Lestat and the man) gazes follow after Antoinette and Louis and the wife literally notice at the same time. This is them (as in the writers etc. etc.) being really over handed about what they’re implying about Loustat’s relationship/marriage/companionship moving forward. Louis is literally sitting on the same side the wife is sitting and Lestat the husband. Antoinette poses a very similar threat to both Louis and the wife who is a bw (only her black husband could die behind Antoinette, at worst, given the era).

For what it’s worth (not much) I don’t think Lestat is actively plotting in the sense of being aware that he is forcing a gendered hat on Louis that doesn’t fit. I think he believes that this is a role Louis is suited for, especially if he’s drawing from the trauma of his relationship with his mother and the ways Louis might remind him of her. What I mean by that is his focus is on the front he see that Louis is putting on. He thinks he’s removing the offending hat Louis is, for a reason he can’t understand (and won’t bother to), clinging to. I think he believes the final frontier of Louis’ problems is simply submitting to his vampire nature (and to him lbfr) which i talked about in the tenor scene. (He doesn’t realize he hasn’t escaped the confines of humanity, he just benefits from them more in a way that lends to his ability to live as if they don’t apply to him)

Louis’ acting like he’s not a vampire and Lestat likens this to his business “a cover, an illusion to throw off the scent of the dogs.” The section of the Azalea where they are engaging in “polite conversation,” where the word “vampire” is off limits is a front for the nefarious business of trafficking women where consumption of bodies is allowed as long as Louis can separate himself from it. Pimping hidden in the shadows of the Azalea, the way he seeks to hide his vampirism in the shadows of his humanity. Bluffing is fine in a game of poker against humans Lestat believes is beneath him—against human’s he naively believes he elevated Louis above by giving him the dark gift—but it’s no way to live as a Vampire and it’s no way to love Lestat.

This is most offensive to Lestat, and I don’t doubt concerning given the impact it will have on Louis. Lestat: “You’re going to struggle. I fear for the feline population of New Orleans.”

He’s being really snarky about this, but I believe he means it. Louis’ hunger will not be satiated by eating cats or other small animals. He will be weakened physically and mentally by it. Lestat drives this point in by saying he’s gonna render them extinct in the area, behind this reluctance to kill or feed from humans. Lestat fails to see Louis is trying to regain some semblance of control over his life where he has very little control over how so many things are playing out against his favor even with the success of the Azalea which is unstable. There’s also the situation with his family. The fact that he has to kill to survive but doesn’t want to. the fact that he believes himself already damned, but still full of shame and guilt. Then as things worsen between him and Lestat etc. etc. He needs something to control.

Lestat sees this as more than just a moral quandary just not in the way it could have lent to the understanding of Louis so much as it clearly imo pokes at Lestat’s insecurities about whether he can be loved for who he is fully. He sees himself as above humanity, fully immersed in being a vampire and proud too and Louis is rejecting that so in a way, to Lestat, he’s rejecting him and the dark gift he’s given. He thinks he’s being played the fool. (“I can pretend the fool”). Louis agreed to all these things and now he’s switching up and holding out. (marriage contract etc. etc.) Lestat overcorrects so egregiously he’s the agent to his own fear being realized—the threat of Louis leaving him.

I don’t think i’m saying anything of a revelation to say Lestat can stop himself from acting out. I don’t think it’s anything new to say he has a clear need and demand for attention. He immediately follows this up with causing a scene and performing. He hops on stage and plays the piano for and with the people of the Azalea—what Louis seems more inclined to give his time and energy to rather then enjoying being a vampire and his new life with Lestat. Plus It’s not like it doesn’t work a little. Louis’ in 2020 in Dubai with a whole new husband crediting his white ex for something i doubt he actually was the catalyst for. idk I have my doubts about his claim about the Wolverine Blues. I think Danny being openly and immediately doubtful, as far as to play it, was intentional in making us question that as well imo.

He does this again tho. In part because it sort of worked in his favor this time especially since he threw the scent of this being what he does when he feels threatened (which i believe to be the main reason he does it again) to he was helping Louis out bc the pianist was gonna leave Louis. An interesting redirection considering this is a reaction to the fear that Louis will leave him. He’s playing poker. and he sort of* won this hand. So yeah he does it again, but more manically, later on with Louis’ preference of military men (i just know he thought about that sailor at the bar and it sent him over the edge) when he sees Louis would rather let an old flame do him “some face” (🤭) and eat a dog than fuck him and feed with him. but let’s not jump ahead. let’s let ep3 seduce us as Louis has been seduced!!!

antoinette brown said she gone be here all night y’all she really claimed the eternal night from jump. you can see the moment Lestat gets the idea to torment Louis with the “rotisserie chicken” (🤭 anon you will always be famous). She passed by and he turned so quick to Louis all bright eyed like “you’re going to struggle” ☹️ knowing he gonna be the agent of that particular struggle.

*i say sort of bc Louis is impressed by the scene he created when he starts playing, and it probably smoothed things over that night, but he doesn’t budge on his disordered eating bc that’s not how it works Lestat!!!! (“did i forget to mention i’m terrible at this game” or something to that effect)

[made-ofmemories]

This is the result of the 'build a fic' polls I held. The final results were: A Steddie fic set in the aftermath of S4 with the prompt stargazing.

Also on ao3

“Eddie?”

The sound of an unexpected voice behind him makes him flinch, he hadn’t heard the door and his nerves aren’t what they once were ever since his experience with the upside down. He’s perched on the edge of one of the sun loungers around the Harrington’s pool with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He turns in his seat, though he already knows who he’s going to see. Steve is walking towards him, hands raised in submission and a sheepish look on his face.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” The sound of the metal legs of a chair being dragged across concrete echoes into the quiet of the night, but there’s no one else around to hear it. 

“It’s alright.” His lips quirk in the hint of a smile, hoping to reassure Steve. “I just wasn’t expecting company ‘s all.”

“What’re you doing out here?”

“There’s a meteor shower tonight.” 

“You didn’t say anything.” Steve is sitting with his elbow propped on the armrest of the chair and his chin resting in his hand as he listens. 

“I didn’t think you’d be interested.” He shrugs. It’s not accusatory, just a casual observation. He expects Steve to brush it off, chuckle and agree, but instead, he’s met with a saddened expression.

It had shocked him more than anybody, but he liked Steve. A little over a month ago and the two had never said more than a handful of words to each other in passing and now Eddie not only owed him his life but was an unofficial lodger in the guy's house more often than not. They had been through things most people could only ever imagine in their nightmares. It forced them into a fast and somewhat unconventional friendship based on shared trauma. There are times that Eddie is reminded that despite how close they’ve grown in such a short time, there are still things they don’t know about each other.

“Oh,” Steve says, rubbing the back of his neck as he stands. He sounds disappointed, though he tries to hide it behind a smile, “Don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair now. Just wanted to check everything was ok.”

“Wait.” Steve stops, looking over his shoulder. He had only made it a couple of feet. Eddie hadn’t meant for him to leave, “Did you want to stay? We could watch it together?”

Steve's face lights up.

“I’d like that.”

“C’mon then.” Eddie smiles a full bright smile, and gestures for Steve to join him.

He shuffles up toward the backrest of the lounger to make space for Steve who sits beside him. There are plenty of seats around and despite any lies Eddie tells himself that might suggest otherwise, the truth is he just wants an excuse to have Steve close.

“Have you seen anything yet?” Steve asks after a few moments of quiet, both of them with their heads tilted back to look at the stars. Eddie is sure he’s going to end up with a crick in his neck by morning.

“Nah.” He glances over to Steve just in time to see the shiver that wracks his body. It’s early summer, but with the sun long beyond the horizon a chill has crept into the air. “Are you cold?”

“No.” Steve shakes his head. “I’m fine.”

There’s no way he isn’t cold despite his insistence. He’s wearing a baggy t-shirt and a pair of green and yellow shorts with the words Hawkins swim team printed across the corner of one leg. He was probably on his way to bed when he spotted Eddie’s figure through the sliding glass doors leading outside. 

“ Steve .”

“Alright, maybe a little bit.” Another shiver travels down his spine as if to emphasize the point. “Don’t worry about it, seriously I’m ok.”

“Here.” Eddie holds out a corner of the blanket wrapped around his shoulders, one arm extended towards Steve. 

Steve hesitates for a second then shuffles closer, his bare leg brushing against Eddie’s sweatpants. Eddie places the blanket around his shoulder and Steve takes it with a mumbled thanks, pulling it tighter around himself and inadvertently pressing himself closer into Eddie’s side in the process. 

He’s trying not to stare, but Steve looks so ethereal bathed in silver moonlight lips parted and attention focused on the stars above. Eddie thinks the smattering of moles and freckles working their way down the column of his neck are more interesting than any constellation. They’ve faced off against literal monsters, been trapped in an alternate dimension and yet he swears he’s never been as nervous as he is when he lets his arm slip around Steve’s body.

“This ok?” He whispers, fearing that if he speaks too loudly it’ll shatter the moment and he’ll be forced back to reality. A reality where Steve Harrington isn’t currently nuzzling into his chest with a mumbled ‘yeah’.

“Look!” Steve is pointing to the sky. Eddie looks up, but he’s too late, he hadn’t been paying attention, “Did you see it?”

“Yeah I saw,” he lies, his voice a low rumble. He can’t bring himself to tell Steve the truth when he sounds so excited about it.

“Did you make a wish?” 

He nods, “Did you?” 

“Yeah.” His gaze falls back to Steve only to find him looking right back up at him. “What did you wish for?”

“Now that would be telling.” Eddie smirks.

“Fine, keep your secrets.” Steve huffs lightheartedly and they both turn their attention back to the sky.

It was already late when Steve wandered out to join Eddie and in the quiet, with Steve’s weight pressed against him, it doesn’t take long for tiredness to begin creeping up on him making his mind fuzzy and eyelids heavy. He’s about to suggest they head inside, despite the fact Eddie has yet to see a meteor, when a white flash shoots across the black sky. 

“Did you see that? It was a bright one.” Steve doesn’t reply, “Steve?”

When he looks down again he sees Steve, eyes closed, breathing even, and mouth hanging open, fast asleep and slumped against Eddie. He brushes a lock of chestnut hair from Steve’s face and he stirs a little, mumbling something and pressing his face closer into the fabric of Eddie’s t-shirt. 

Eddie melts, a fond smile forcing its way onto his lips. Five more minutes won’t hurt.

[a-crumb-of-whump]

I tie ryker to a seat with his legs spread apart and make carlos worship him. kissing his thighs, his feet, his stomach. every inch of him. if he refuses, then i'm going to take him upstairs and tie him down in front of an open window so he can burn alive for a few hours.

ryker is not gagged.

Content: Body worship, neurodivergent whumpee, sensory issues, forced to hurt, past pet whump, PTSD/trauma, restraints, comfort.

It is an incredibly hard choice to make for Carlos. He does not want to do that to Ryker, but does not want to be put in the sun, either.

Much to his surprise, Ryker seems to know exactly what his choice will end up being. He speaks up in a quiet voice, glancing away from you and the vampire in front of him. "I would rather you do the first thing than- uh, choose the sun. Don't deserve to burn."

Carlos is ashamed to admit that he is relieved to hear Ryker's words. He sits forward and bows his head for a moment, feeling somewhat like a pet looking to please its master. He still finds it incredibly easy to regress back to that state of mind, and allows himself to do so in order to get through the experience.

Ryker finds it to be hell. His sensory issues have every touch feeling like an itch beneath his skin, getting worse and worse the longer it goes on. He can't move to stop it. Can't ask for it to stop because it means putting someone he loves in pain. All he can do is endure and hope that it ends as quick as it started.

And eventually it does. Carlos is allowed to sit back again, his eyes immediately directing themselves towards the floor. His head is swimming with self-depreciating thoughts and concern for Ryker, who is in tears despite how gentle Carlos tried to be.

When Ryker is untied, he gets down onto the floor and presses himself against Carlos' clothed body for warmth. The vampire wraps his arms around him and rests his chin on his human's shoulder, mumbling an apology for what he had to do.

[redstainedsocks]

B-b-basement

More of the safe house arc. Had this one swimming around in my head for months and hey, look what happens when you sit down in front of a keyboard for 30 minutes! Welcome to the We All Hate Tom Club

Contents: confinement, emotional whump/panic attack, trauma response, past!torture references, whumped by team member

The smell of a mouth-watering breakfast greeted Zach when he awoke. Despite Tom being his only company for the day it dragged him out of bed and down the stairs at a quicker pace. He found Tom at the kitchen table, digging into slices of toast and bacon, a thick porridge creamy in a bowl beside him, and some pre-heated muffins cooling on a rack beside the oven.

“Mornin’,” Tom said, waving a fork in his direction.

“You cooked.”

“I’m a man of many talents.” A smirk flitted across Tom’s face that set an uneasy feeling in Zach’s stomach. 

He nodded, absently, taking in the food. “Enough for two?” he asked, quietly.

“Oh absolutely, I already served you a portion in fact.”

“You did?” Zach shifted, looking for the lie, the trick. Assessing the room. He’d play along with whatever this game was, but an inclination of what to expect would be much preferable.

“Yeah, follow me.”

On heavy feet Zach trailed after Tom, leaving the enticing scents to fade as they walked back to the hallway. They stopped before the door to the basement, the lower level of the house that made up the third floor. Unusual for the area, but the house was built on a hill. There was enough of an incline to make use of the space but the floor below had very little light, only a few high windows.

Tom opened the door with a flourish. Like an animal on the prowl he watched with eager eyes and Zach swallowed, face flushing. He knew he couldn’t hide the uptick in his breathing, the slight tremor in his hands.

“What is this?” he asked.

“Take a look.”

He edged closer to the door and peered down the stairs, sure enough, at the bottom there was a tray of steaming food. “Why?”

“I noticed you had a thing about this, wouldn’t go near the door. Didn’t offer to help change a bulb down there last week when one blew. I wondered how far the fear went.”

“Far enough,” Zach replied, crossing his arms.

“Well, that’s your breakfast. All you have to do is go get it.”

Zach looked up, studying Tom’s face. He worked his jaw, teeth grinding. “And then I can eat?”

“Yep!” The grin that spread across Tom’s face was insufferable. How did he manage to see so much, to find such cruel and insidious games to play? Was Zach really so easy to read?

“Fine.” He’d been through worse, he wasn’t going to be hurt. He could out-manoeuvre Tom on this one and surprise him by not giving in.

He took a step. Another. His stomach flipped, and suddenly he wasn’t all that hungry anymore. The dim interior of the staircase felt like it would go on forever, stretching ahead of him until it warped and wobbled. He took a breath, and another, forced air into his lungs to keep his legs moving. As he passed the threshold his hand shot out to steady against the wall, palm flat against the textured paint.

Nothing good had ever happened in a basement, not to him. Dark, lonely, pain-filled places. Stuck underground, in cold, damp rooms that clung around his skin, stuck like tar in his memories. Black places. Punishments and penance, paid with bruises and more. 

He was three steps down when the memories crowded, he doubled over, took another breath. There was nothing down here. Nothing. He straightened his spine, but still his steps were heavy, as though convinced he was voluntarily walking to his doom. There was a tremor in his legs, his left knee buckled. He stumbled down two stairs before he got control of it.

There was a snicker behind him and he groaned, cursing Tom, himself, the world. He just had to get it over with. With a burst of speed he quick-stepped to the bottom and leaned into the hand bracing his weight. “There,” he called back hoarsely. “Are you satisfied?”

Tom didn’t respond. Zach rounded on him, mouth parted on a breath. Hinges squeaked, and he got one second of a grin and the look of triumph on Tom’s face before the door began to swing shut. He waited a beat, one, two, another, a fourth, a fifth. The door stayed on it’s trajectory. A scream welled up, and he strangled it until it was only a coarse yelp.

His legs found their strength in a flash, and he bounded up the stairs. “Don’t! Wait! Don’t, let me out!”

He was closing in on the top of the stairs, moving faster than he had in weeks. His hands stretched to catch it before the lock clicked into place. Please please please. Whispers of other days, other times, crowded around him, hammering into him like they might rip a hole through his chest.

The door clicked into the lock. He slammed into it with a thud that reverberated through his wrists, jolted him up to the elbows. 

He did scream, then. He wailed, hands pounding on the wood. “Tom, please, PLEASE! Don’t do this, you don’t have to do this.”

It was undignified and humiliating and even feeling that he couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop. “I’ll do whatever you want. Just let me out.”

A solid weight thumped into the door on the other side and he held his breath, waiting.

“Zach, you still there?”

“Yes.”

A low chuckle. “So dramatic, god, you really can’t stomach anything these days can you?”

“No,” he admitted softly. Would admit to anything Tom accused him of, just to make this end.

“Tsk, shame. It’s going to be a long morning then, isn’t it? Hope you enjoy your meal at least.”

“Tom!”

Footsteps echoed, moving away, and the door remained locked. He pawed at it, rattled the handle, shoved at it with his shoulder but it didn’t budge. He slid to the floor, one hand still gripping the handle, and hung his head. Fat, salty tears slipped from his eyes and he did nothing to stem them. He couldn’t tell if they were shame, or fear, or grief for who he could be, used to be, if he wasn’t so cowardly, so lost. But it didn’t matter, there was no-one to see anyway.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Azul for the character bingo

***Standard disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions of the character(s); regardless of what I may think of them, sharing my thoughts is NOT meant to offend or to shame anyone that thinks differently.***

***CONTENT WARNING: mentions and discussion of bullying!***

This one’s going to be quite weird 😂 For those of you who may not know, Azul used to be my favorite character back when I first started Twisted Wonderland (JP) upon release. Since then, he has fallen from grace and now sits as one of my least favorite characters in the entire cast (which I know is a very controversial take; I’m well aware of Azul’s popularity both in the Japanese audience as well as in the international audience).

A huge part of the reason why I was initially drawn to Azul was because The Little Mermaid was basically the only Disney movie I had a strong connection with of the ones that the Great Seven were modeled after. I religiously watched that movie and its sequels as a kid. I collected sea creature plushies and listened to The Little Mermaid soundtracks to help lull me to sleep. I dreamed of being a mermaid when I grew up despite not being able to swim. The whole under-the-sea aesthetic enchanted me, and since the original movie didn’t characterize the eels too strongly, I of course gravitated to Azul, who is based on The Little Mermaid’s iconic villainess, Ursula. Little me had always preferred Ursula to Ariel anyway. I really adored her unique lavender skin, her seashell jewelry, her overdone makeup, and her fuller body (it was rare for me to see that kind of body type portrayed in media back then so the variety was great). It was also so cool seeing her tentacles move in the water and how they filled up the space on the screen???? Additionally, I found her to be one of the smarter and sassier Disney villains, which I really appreciated. AND THAT WHOLE THING ABOUT URSULA BEING KING TRITON’S BANISHED SISTER??????? Catch kid me slurping up lore and fan theories about that 😳 

ANYWAY, THE POINT IS THAT I SIMPED FOR URSULA WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID SO I WAS LIKE “okay I guess I’ll simp for anime Ursula now that I’m older” since I anticipated a lot of what I loved about Ursula to also be present for Azul. In the beginning, this was mostly true and I was loving every second of it. I absolutely adore it when a character uses their smarts instead of their strength to overtake their enemies and obstacles, and Azul was really serving that up in episode 3 (and later on, episode 4). He wasn’t exactly like Ursula, but the traits that Azul offered that were uniquely his happened to fall in line with what I usually enjoy, so I had no complaints. Azul was calm, cunning, and above all else, a force to be reckoned with, someone who was always way ahead of you and difficult to outsmart.

Then we got his backstory, and he completely lost me.

I’m sure that this shocks many of you, as Azul’s backstory is one that often garners him sympathy and empathy. I’m NOT saying that I’m apathetic to his situation; I actually empathize a lot with what he went through as someone who has been bullied myself and felt resentful toward those perpetuating the bullying... and I can totally understand why he’s trying so hard to invent a new, more confident identity for himself, but that doubt and insecurities still remain from his past trauma. It’s admirable how Azul didn’t let the bullying weigh him down; he instead used his negative emotions to motivate himself to study hard and get in shape. However, in the context of what Azul would later do with his intelligence and magical abilities, it leaves a foul taste in my mouth.

Truthfully, I dislike Azul’s backstory, and Azul by extension, for very VERY personal reasons. The implication is that Azul improved himself in part because he sought revenge against his bullies. He eventually does get what he wants, robbing his bullies of the traits that they were most proud of in exchange for “helping” them, and continues to run that shady business to this very day. So... what? It’s okay to be driven by spite? It’s okay to seek revenge against people who have wronged you? It’s okay to keep swindling others for personal benefit under the guise of altruism just because you were hurt in the past? I’m sorry, but I just cannot agree with any of that.

I realize that I may be viewing Azul’s backstory from a somewhat shallow perspective, but when I first read it, my gut reaction was to be hurt on a very personal level. Again, I’ve been in Azul’s exact situation before. I’ve even felt the same disdain toward my tormentors that Azul did, and I used the thought of revenge to fuel myself to excel academically to “prove them wrong”. That might have made me a good student, but it also made me very bitter and haughty for a period of time. I would later come to realize the error of my ways and worked even harder than I initially had to scrub away that hateful version of me and open myself up to others. To see Azul, someone very similar to me, be rewarded over and over for being truly awful makes me feel as though my own efforts to be a better person were somehow for naught. Like, that’s NOT how things work???? I look at Azul and I see what could have happened to me if I continued being resentful; I would have become someone just as bad, if not worse than, my bullies 😔 I’m NOT saying it was okay for them to have bullied Azul, but kids/teenagers are assholes and don’t realize the full extent of how their comments can hurt others in the long run; what is Azul’s excuse, especially when he is older and fully aware of the consequences of his actions?

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t be so offended by Azul’s backstory if I didn’t find myself relating to him so much... I still like seeing him engage with the other characters (particularly when he’s trying to butter them up), but as it stands, I cannot ever see Azul the same way that I initially did. He reads as someone that kid me would have looked up to as a role model, someone who could “stick it to the haters” and make all of his dreams come true at the same time, but now that I’m older I see just how detrimental that line of thinking can be.

I think that Azul works best when paired with good characters he can bounce off of (namely, contradictory characters or people who can push Azul’s buttons). This includes the twins and Jamil, who provoke Azul in their own ways. He’s forced into a vulnerable position with Jade and Floyd, who are aware of the past that he often tries to bury and could bring it up at any moment. Meanwhile, Azul dials up the charm and confidence to 11 when he’s with Jamil which 1) is fucking hilarious, especially with Jamil shutting Azul down while wearing a deadpan expression and 2) makes me think that he wants genuine companionship with someone he can relate to (even if he probably does intend on also using Jamil as an asset to his business if Jamil transfers to Octavinelle). I really feel like I’d like Azul a lot more if he just made more vested efforts to open up (but I understand that he’s not currently in a secure enough position with his identity and trust in others to actively pursue that).

[iriswords]

Febuwhump Day 18 - Can’t stay awake

You can also read this on ao3 and find the rest of my febuwhump fics here  

tw: past trauma, blood and injury, fear of death

Fandom: Batman

Words: 1436

There is a bomb in the building, threatening to blow up kids a trafficking ring tried to sell. Jason took down the traffickers but now, injured and barely hanging onto consciousness, he needs to disarm the bomb in time, lest they all die. It reminds him a bit too much of another situation when he did not disarm the bomb in time.

--

“I need backup,” Jason pants in the comms. His side throbs where a bullet burned a hole through it. Jason tries to ignore how sticky with blood his hand is. No one answers him. “I need backup,” he repeats, his tone harsher. “Yesterday.”

“I heard you the first time,” replies Oracle, her voice clipped with annoyance.

“You could have told me so,” mutters Jason. The room around him, littered with fallen and unconscious goons, swims worryingly, his dizziness a result of blood loss and intense pain. His broken ankle has been shooting darts of pain all the way up to his hip for the better part of the fight, and the pain has increased since Jason let himself fall back against the wall, the gang leader finally down.

“No one is available right now,” says Oracle. “I don’t know how long it will take for someone to free themself, everyone’s quite busy at the moment. How urgent is your situation?”

Jason’s ankle and two fingers on his dominant hand are broken, the shoulder of that same side is dislocated, a bullet tore through his abdomen and a bat met his head with enough force to shatter his helmet earlier in the fight. And with all of that, Jason needs to disarm the bomb threatening to bring the building down and free the kids the gang thought they could get away with trafficking.

“I wouldn’t call for backup if it weren’t urgent, O,” says Jason, detaching himself from the wall. His bad leg nearly gives out underneath him as he steps on it, but he grits his teeth and forces himself forward.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Nevermind,” mutters Jason. “I’ll do it on my own.”

“Hood—” starts Oracle, but Jason cuts off the comms before he can hear the rest of her sentence.

He laboriously makes his way through the room, struggling to stay upright and not stumble over the unconscious men sprawled on the ground. If one of them wakes up, he is done for. Jason looks down at the timer held precariously between two of the unbroken fingers on his right hand. He has ten minutes left. He can do that. All he has to do is go upstairs, find the bomb, and disarm it. After that, he’ll try to ask for help again, because he has no illusion he will be able to get all the kids out all by himself.

Black spots dot his vision as Jason puts his foot on the first step of the stairs. Jason breathes in heavily through his nose and blinks hard to clear his vision, to no avail. On the third step, his knee buckles under him and he pitches forward, barely breaking his fall with his uninjured hand. Agonizing pain erupts in his side, and he gives a strangled cry. Through the tears in his eyes, he looks at the timer again. Three minutes have already passed, and he has barely made it through three steps.

With a shaky hand, he reactivates his comms.

“Oracle,” he calls breathlessly.

“Done with your tantrum?” she immediately replies.

He ignores the jab as he staggers to his feet again. “I need backup,” he says. “I don’t care what the others are doing, there are lives at stake.”

“Which ones?” asks Oracle sharply.

Mine, Jason wants to say. “Kids’,” he answers instead. “At least two dozen. Trafficking ring. Goons are unconscious, but there’s a bomb in the building.”

“Why can’t you do it yourself?”

“Injured,” pants Jason, his feet on the sixth step. He is getting light-headed, a side effect of blood loss. His grip on the timer—only six minutes left—is getting slacker by the second, his fingers loosening around it despite his best efforts.

“I’ll do my best,” says Oracle.

The dots across Jason’s vision grow and grow, until they obscure it almost entirely. No. Jason needs to stay awake. He can’t— It’s not just the kids. It’s also the memories of another time when he couldn’t disarm a bomb in time, when his lungs rattled with each inhale he took, and pain ran through his body. Laughter resounds at the edge of his mind, and a sob snakes its way up Jason’s throat.

He pushes it down and forces himself up another step. His leg gives out again, so suddenly he does not have time to catch himself. His head smacks against the corner of a step, and his vision whitens out.

Jason comes to groggily, struggling past the fog in his mind. His body feels like one giant bruise, his blood throbbing through his veins. Memories come to him in a whiplash, and Jason straightens up abruptly. Or tries to, anyway, for pain shots through him and halts his movement. Jason pants through the discomfort and searches for the timer. It has fallen a couple of stairs.

He picks it up with shaky hands. Four minutes. He didn’t stay out for too long, then. But he still won’t make it in time. He presses a finger to his comms to ask Oracle if she’s been able to find someone to come help him or if should prepare himself to die blown up a second time, but all that comes to him is static. He must have hit the comms in his fall.

Jason resolves to crawl the rest of the stairs. Even this way he is shaky, his whole body trembling under the effort and blood trailing behind him from the still-bleeding wound in his leg. Even if he manages to stop the bomb, he isn’t sure he’ll make it out of this. But he has to try. He can’t give up, dying or not, because his life isn’t the only one at stake. Not only are there a dozen unconscious goons in the building, whose deaths Batman definitely wouldn’t be happy about though Jason couldn’t care less, but there are also kids. Jason can’t abandon them.

He makes it to the top of the stairs miraculously, with a minute and a half to spare, and gets to his feet with difficulty. The kids, put in cages like they are animals, watch him stumble into the room with wide, fearful eyes. None of them make a sound, even as they curl into themselves to try and hide their sobs. Jason would like to reassure them, tell them everything is going to be okay, that he won’t harm them, but he has close to no energy left.

He leans against the wall to catch his breath and scans the room. The bomb lies in the dead center of it, glaring at him. The seconds pass, a death sentence getting closer and closer. The laughter in Jason’s head gets louder and more hysterical, so much so it is nearly a scream.

Jason crosses the few feet between him and the bomb and drops to his knees in front of it. One minute left. Will he manage to save the kids, if he covers it with his body when it blows up? It would traumatize them, doubtlessly, but they’d be alive. That has to count for something, right?

Pushing away these thoughts and the images of his own calcined, blown-apart body, Jason gets to work. His fingers are wracked by tremors, his mind fuzzy with pain and blood loss. His vision is still dotted, like an old TV with bad resolution, and he is faintly aware that he sways on his knees. As the seconds tick away, his focus diminishes, until all he can do is stare at the bomb. His last thought before passing out is that he hopes the kids will die a painless death.

He dreams of an explosion. Of fire tearing him apart and of searing pain. Of crawling through the rubble of a warehouse, laughter still ringing in his eyes. Of giving his last breath in the arms of a black-cloaked vigilante.

Jason wakes up. He did not expect to, though perhaps he should have. Even last time, he did not stay dead. Except this time he is not in a coffin but in a cot, encased by blankets. The lights of the Medbay, however dim, burn a headache through his skull, and his whole body throbs with faint, medically-attenuated pain.

Bruce’s hand cards through his hair.

“The kids,” Jason rasps.

“They’re all alive and free. The trafficking ring members were still unconscious when I arrived, and the police took them in. I thought—“ Bruce chokes a little on his words. “I thought I would be too late.” The word ‘again’ floats painfully in the air.

“You weren’t,” says Jason. “Thank you.”

@febuwhump

[the-unending-journey]

WoL Profile - Kiyo

Name: Kiyo Himemitsu de Haillenarte

Age: Mid/late 20's

Nameday: 15th Sun of the Second Astral Moon

Race: Au Ra (Raen)

Height: 4'9"

Gender: Cis Female

Sexuality: Disaster Bisexual

Patron Deity: Halone (with a little of the kami on the side)

Alignment: Neutral Good

Birthplace: Some island out on the Ruby Sea, Othard

Current Residence: Ishgard

Family: Mother (adoptive), older brother, two older sisters (adoptive) and all of the Haillenartes (adoptive)

Occupation: Traveling healer, warrior of light (reluctant)

Voice Claim - Eden Riegel (mainly as her roles of Sumia from FE: Awakening/Heroes and Popola from the Nier series)

Basic Personality

Positive: kind, supportive, affectionate, protective, curious

Negative: self-destructive, evasive, anxious, insecure, withdrawn

With a love for adventure and always willing to extend a gentle hand to those in need, Kiyo is certainly a great friend to have. Though, if one were able to manage to pull back the walls around her, they'd find she's a rather lonely soul with a heart that bleeds entirely too much for her own good

Likes: romantic stories, sweets, listening to other adventurers' tales, dancing, listening to bards play, swimming, weaving, exploring, helping people in the Brume

Dislikes: the Garlean Empire, her various family members' recklessness, liars, innocents being hurt, insects, her tail or horns being grabbed

Basic History

Kiyo was born in a little island town tucked away out on the Ruby Sea, and she would have been born into a peaceful life, but fate had other plans. Since the town's leader refused to have dealings with the Confederacy (not wanting to be beholden to anyone), it caused the place to be a prime target for a contingent of Garleans that came across it on fateful day

The few townsfolk that were actually able to fight, including Kiyo's father, sadly lost against the much more prepared soldiers and the town was crushed under their rule for a time. The people of the town could do little but comply with their captors as their home was used as a means to supply more soldiers and resources to the enemy. After Kiyo's brother was taken and forcibly added into their ranks like many other young men in the town, the siblings' mother set an incredibly risky plan in motion

Unfortunately, the plan didn't go as it was supposed to, and it resulted in the religious sect that Kiyo's mother still ran in secret to be weeded out and slaughtered by the soldiers that found them. The sheer trauma from witnessing this event as she hid is what caused her to develop mutism for the majority of her life

Kiyo thought her life was over after losing what she thought was the last of her family and support, but thankfully her brother had returned after escaping the confines of his forced conscription. Secreting himself and his baby sister away one night on one of the few merchant vessels allowed to pass through freely, the siblings sought their freedom far from the Ruby Sea and Othard itself.

After a lot of traveling by various means, the pair unfortunately had to stop their journey in the Dravanian Forelands; more specifically, Tailfeather. Thankfully the hunters there were kind enough to help the pair of them survive the wilds there and didn't ask any questions about why these strangers had draconic features. That was mostly due in part to a kindly old merchant that actually met a few Au Ra in his travels. Said merchant felt for these lost souls, especially for little Kiyo, and got in touch with his wife about taking them in.

Kiyo and Ryu's lives took a turn for the better, as the man's wife ended up being part of one of Ishgard's High Houses, and she adopted the pair in a heartbeat. While she did have to secret them into the city and keep them hidden for a time due to closely resembling the dragons the city was at war with, Lucinne gave the siblings a second chance at life

Growing up in Ishgard was tough, even despite being part of the nobility, but Kiyo powered through and eventually began her journey as a holy woman under Halone's will and a healer. Then one day she discovered she was one of Hydaelyn's chosen and her simple life was forever changed since then

Random facts

Kiyo is selectively mute and really only speaks to those she's closest to

She has entirely too much aether for one person to have and it's aspected to water. Because of the nature of it, she can easily get sick if she has to travel a considerable distance with aetherytes. City traveling is fine though

Has a pet Gaelicat that she found injured as a kitten, which she nursed back to health and the little guy has been with her since

Also took in a stray cat she found wandering about Kugane one day

Loves cataloguing the various medicinal plants she comes across in her herb gathering ventures. She has a well-worn book that she's handwritten and drawn herself with the recordings

[nicholas-wolfwood]

What are some of nick’s fears? :3

Oh boy, this'll be fun to answer! This boy's a walking basket case of trauma, despite the macho attitude he uses to try and hide it.

While most things slimy and bug-eyed that you normally wouldn't see on Gunsmoke (frogs and squid, to name a couple) gross him out, he's not genuinely AFRAID of them. Deep water, on the other hand, DOES make him legitimately anxious, since he's never been in water deep enough to learn how to swim.

Of course, with how messed up of a childhood he’s had (abuse, molestation, violence, being turned into a child soldier), he’s got quite a few triggers when stressed as well, but I’m not sure if these could as FEARS, since he’s not explicitly afraid of these things, they just trigger a reaction to times where he WAS afraid. These can include nightmares, sudden movements towards him, being touched, loud noises, flashes, etc. but these aren’t consistent and more often than not won’t elicit an outward reaction from him.

As for the more specific, deep-seated fears that wake him up at night?

His fear of death. Particularly a violent one. Living on Gunsmoke, and having been raised in a death cult of assassins, he knows that even as a supersoldier the possibility of a gruesome death is around every corner, and for someone like him it’s almost certainly coming sooner rather than later. Being a religious person (despite his... lax nature as a priest), Wolfwood is convinced he’s going to hell when he dies, and his death is going to be a painful one, but if it means keeping his loved ones from dirtying their own hands, then he’ll deal with it. That doesn’t mean the idea doesn’t terrify him, though.

He's afraid of people with control over him. Knives, Legato, and Chapel in particular; that sense of helplessness he's been drowning in since he was taken from the orphanage, knowing they could destroy him and his family on a whim, and knowing if he doesn't follow orders, then he's not the only one that will suffer the consequences.

This leads to another one that is fairly universal, but a very REAL one for his position; the death of his family. One of his biggest motivators is the safety of his family (the orphanage) and loved ones, which is often used against him by the people above. It's led to him crossing almost every moral line he has, including executing innocents (including other children), betraying his friends, and allowing himself to be turned into a killing machine by a death cult of child soldiers. He knows if he steps out of line, his family will be butchered, and he'll be forced to watch.

Another intense fear of his concerning his family is their rejection. Wolfwood is fully convinced that they would hate him for what he's allowed himself to be turned into, for what he's had to do to ensure their safety, and is TERRIFIED of being rejected by the only family he's ever known. This is to the point where- even if he had free reign to visit them safely, he wouldn't risk it and only sends the occasional care package with no return address. As much as he misses them, if they never see him again, then they can't tell him he's no longer welcome, right? This applies to most people he grows close to, but it's especially intense for his family.

And finally, rounding all that up is his fear of FAILURE. Particularly in his mission to protect Vash and get him ready to take out Knives and prevent the genocidal maniac from completing his goal of wiping out the human race. This, obviously, includes himself and his family, as well as everyone he's ever cared about (including Vash himself because if he fails, Knives will likely kill him too). The end of the world would be considered a pretty universal fear as well, but he knows all too well how REAL this possibility is. If he says one wrong thing. Makes one wrong move. Makes one too many mistakes, then the deception he's build up as a triple-agent will crumble, his family will be killed, he'll be executed, Vash will be defeated by Knives, and the human race on Gunsmoke will be annihilated, and he’s running out of time. 

But no pressure.

[jaskier-cult]

The Witcher With Blue Eyes

*throws this at you* random bullshit, go!

here, take some random ramblings of an au i came up with!! no fucking idea where i am going with this, but you can't stop me

*

There are stories of a witcher with blue eyes.

Geralt was still a relatively new witcher, just five years on the Path, when this rumor appeared, and he was not naïve enough to fall for such fodder.

All witchers had yellow eyes. This was a given. None of the witcher schools had the exact same mutagens – every school was just slightly different, imbuing their witchers with the characteristics of the wild beast they represented – but all witchers had yellow eyes. That was how it was. That was how the mutagens worked. That was how a witcher could be recognized.

A witcher with blue eyes.

Geralt scoffed.

*

There are stories of a witcher with blue eyes.

There are stories of a witcher who strangled a wyvern with his bare hands, out of madness.

There are stories of a witcher who laughed, with empty blue eyes, as he danced with his twin blades and wrought cold blood.

Geralt is no longer new to the Path, and he has heard these stories for a while now. Even among his own brethren, the stories are whispered and shared. His mentors talk about blue eyes with cold indifference, but it’s apparent they are unsettled. A blue eyed witcher – who ever heard of such a thing?

But then the School of Viper loses its most infamous witcher in its own keep. In the blink of an eye.

And Geralt’s not so sure they’re rumors anymore.

*

Julian was different.

Even before the mutagens and the training and the trauma, he was always slightly to the left.

When he arrived at the steps of the School of the Viper, he had been scared witless. Gorthur Gvaed, the Viper Keep, also known affectionately as Blood Gate Keep by its inhabitants, was located deep in the Tir Tochair mountains. It was the furthest south Julian had ever been; it had been months from the lands he had grown up in.

It was also the furthest he had ever travelled, dead on his feet as he followed the viper witcher down the beaten Path, in boots not cut-out for the long days walking.

The witcher rode his horse while Julian walked. Julian was never allowed to touch the stallion and was threatened with the loss of his hand otherwise. The witcher only stopped when Julian could go no further, and sometimes then, forced the stumbling boy on with a crushing grip on his arm. Julian would sway on his feet, his vision would swim, and not even his not-so-human blood could save him from his human needs, like food, and water, and rest.

The witcher never gave him his name. He did not speak except to give commands. He called Julian names like “wretch” and “bastard.” He never called Julian by his name.

He was cold and cruel, like the village kids used to be to Julian.

Julian did not like the witcher.

But then they would pass through a village or small backwater hamlet, and he would see the sneers and barely disguised looks of disgust on the humans’ faces. The witcher may have thought him a mindless child, but he was smart, and he noticed when the witcher was forced to pay over three times the asking price for services like horse stabling and food. He saw when the witcher was scammed on hunts when they made their way south. He caught the whispers and murmurs of half-baked plans to murder the witcher in his sleep, just for being different.

He bore witness to the mistreatment of the witcher.

And though he damned himself for thinking it, Julian understood. He felt a kinship with the witcher.

And it did not excuse the witcher’s behaviour. It did not excuse his cruelness. Hurting others was a choice, no matter how hurt you were. But even then, a small part of Julian could sympathize with the man who was beat into this cruel soul.

They weren’t so different from each other, cruelness and all.

It took a long time for the witcher to trust Julian enough to leave him unsupervised – always with a threat lingering, of promising to hunt him down and slit his throat if he tried to run away – but when he finally did, Julian made no attempt to escape because he knew there was no point.

But Julian would never forget the face of the witcher when he came back from a hunt to find their camp painted with blood, Julian sitting by the fire and methodically cleaning the dagger he had successfully slipped from the witcher without notice. Several bodies lay on the outskirt of the camp; bandits who had made the mistake of thinking Julian was helpless.

An arm was missing from one of the bandits and the fire in the middle of the camp was roaring, the wood stacked high and the flames impossibly hot. Julian roasted his meal over the fire. It served the witcher for leaving him to starve, he thought bitterly.

And just once, Julian preened when he saw the way the witcher looked at him.

With something more than contempt.

With something akin to unease.

Julian was eight that night.

*

Julian was nothing.

Julian certainly wasn’t special when he arrived at Blood Gate Keep. He certainly wasn’t the first more-than-human boy to be claimed by a witcher and taken for the Trials.

Julian was nothing.

Julian was a contradiction of bloodlines, was the product of a shameless family.

Julian was nothing.

Julian was not special. Julian was not different. Julian was not more.

Julian was nothing.

Julian was not going to survive, because he was weak and small and he didn’t listen, and Julian was nothing. He was nothing. He was nothing. He was nothing. That was drilled into him as sure as the sun rose in the east and set in the west.

Because Julian was nothing.

*

Every witcher school had the boys relentlessly train. The mutagens only did so much, and there was no success if there was talent without skill. Julian learned this very early on.

But Blood Gate Keep, despite the Trials, and physical training, and reading in bestiaries, still had all young witchers in training go through a final exam: The First Hunt. It was a physical exam before the Trials took place. The young boys had to survive in the surrounding wilderness for several days isolated and alone and make a kill; every boy was put out prepared with weapons and camping gear and told not to come back until they had proof of their kill.

Blood Gate Keep was in a remote location, more remote than other witcher schools, far away from any human civilization in the mountains, and as such the surrounding lands were wild and untamed. Mindless beasts and monsters roamed the base of the mountains, hid in the passing rivers, and hung in the low clouds.

Nobody thought of running away, for that only led to death.

The boys were given two weeks to complete The First Hunt, and no more. If they came back without proof of kill, they were slaughtered. Sometimes the vipers of the keep would take pity and leave them to starve out in the wilderness, alone.

Any monster would do, as long as it was dead and killed.

Sometimes the boys went for small monsters, or babes of monsters not yet old enough to walk and open their eyes. Some boys killed wildlife and maimed it so much it was indistinguishable from any other monstrous corpse, and they would claim it a monster. No one ever batted an eye at them.

Julian was thrown out of the keep with nothing but a bedroll and his dagger.

His mentors laughed as they closed the door on the young boy.

No one thought he would survive the Trials, much less complete The First Hunt.

He set out with a vengeance.

He survived out of pure spite.

And he marched straight back up the mountain to Blood Gate Keep, soaked in the blood of an arch griffin, blue eyes wild, the tongue of the griffin ripped straight from its mouth with his bare hands.

His dagger was clean.

*

The other boys in the keep were cruel, just like the witcher who brought him there. Even within the confines of stone walls, with death imminent, his peers still couldn’t find it within themselves to be kind toward him.

Julian has watched many boys comfort each other on cold nights, has watched older boys console the younger, has noticed the way many boys sleep together because of nightmares.

But not with him.

They tease and mock him.

They push and shove him.

They point and stare.

He’s the only one with eyes as blue as his, with a streak of wild that could not be tamed by their mentors, almost feral. He’s the only one who didn’t bow and snap under the cruelties of Blood Gate Keep. The only one who was not infected with hatred.

And none of the other boys can sympathize with him because they don’t understand him. Julian does not wish to hurt others. All the boys at Blood Gate Keep were going through the same thing, but it affected all of them differently. And some of the boys took the lessons they were handed and grew up bitter and wishing others could feel their hurt; others took their lessons and grew up tired and wishing others would never feel their hurt.

But none of it matters because the other boys still hate Julian.

It hurts, because even among a group of those who knew what he was going through, he still felt utterly alone. He was slipped poison in his drinks. His food was swiped. His clothes were shredded. He was targeted in training. There was no end to the cruelness, from mentors and peers alike.

Some days Julian falls mute from the sheer pressure pushing in on him from everything and everyone.

One day Julian is almost killed in his sleep by another boy in his cohort, and no one says anything when that boy never shows up again. It was not uncommon – even normal – for those in Blood Gate Keep to betray each other and sabotage others. It was encouraged. And still, Julian forces himself from his bed to live to see another day.

Julian uses his disadvantages to his advantage.

Everyone underestimates him.

He understands why.

Julian is small. Even with all the hormone packed lichen and meat the witchers fed the boys at the keep in preparation for training and Trials. Julian is thin where the other boys are broad, he is lean where the other boys are muscled. Julian has soft features. He has soft floppy hair and soft blue eyes. The other boys have stringy hair and deep shit-coloured eyes, even if they weren’t brown.

*

Julian won’t survive the Trials because he’s too weak. He’s not quite human, but he is still weak in the eyes of his mentors. Julian doesn’t do what he’s told. He will fail.

But within Julian’s small frame is a feral animal.

And it’s almost laughable when he sees their reaction every time they push, push, push – and he finally pushes back, finally snaps at them – and they’re shocked. Like they never saw it coming, even though it happened every time.

You don’t see what you don’t want to believe, supposedly.

*

Julian learned that the School of the Viper did things a little differently than the other witcher schools, and he wasn’t surprised.

He wasn’t surprised to learn of his school’s failings.

*

Julian passes through the Trials, to everyone’s shock.

Julian comes out of the Trials with his same inhuman blue eyes, to everyone’s shock.

Julian slits the throat of the witcher who had brought him to Blood Gate Keep, to no one’s shock.

Probably because they never found out it was him.

*

Witchers weren’t liked, but some schools had better reputations than others.

Certainly, the wolves of Kaer Morhen had the most heroic reputation; headstrong and loyal, with more morals than most witchers, disregarding that most witchers didn’t have morals at all.

The cats of Stygga Castle were known to be maniac, either lacking all emotion or treading the fine line of insanity with too much emotion; they killed not just traditional monsters, but also monsters of the human variety, and would take any contract for an innocent’s head if given enough coin.

But the vipers of Gorthur Gvaed were neither of those.

Vipers were predators, through and through.

The mutagens the School of Viper used did not tamper with emotions the way the mutagens from the School of Cat did; it did not need to, for every Viper that came out of Blood Gate Keep was beaten into a cruel and merciless man.

The School of Viper did not raise witchers with morals of a sense of duty to humanity, the way the School of Wolf did; vipers were not safe even within the walls of their own keep, for they never knew when a peer would turn on them for coin, vengeance, or fun. Witchers who stayed in the keep were constantly kept on their toes, their drinks poisoned in game, their training brutal and to the death, and vipers learned early on that you needed to strike first to win, lest your comrade do it first.

Vipers weren’t noble, and vipers weren’t insane; they were just senseless.

*

It was a lie that Cats were the most unstable witchers.

Cats may have had a reputation for being short a marble, but vipers were completely unpredictable.

*

Being the best got you nowhere in Blood Gate Keep.

His fellow witchers and mentors thought Julian weak. They only saw his blue eyes and small frame and soft voice, and their eyes passed over him.

That was good.

Being smart, being strong, being fast – those were traits that made you a target in the Viper’s den.

It was a constant battle of trying to best one another, trying to come out on top, trying to eliminate any form of threat, even if that threat was a fellow witcher, one of the few boys to make it through the Trials with you. Boys were poisoned left and right. Throats were slit. Witchers died in training if they weren’t strong enough, because a Viper never showed mercy, even when it was his brother who lay at the other end of his blade.

After all, if you couldn’t survive a spar, what good were you on The Path?

Julian used all weapons and tools at his disposal.

He never initiated an attack; he was never the one pouring acid in another’s stew, he didn’t engage in to-the-death spars, he never snuck through the keep and assassinated a fellow brother.

His behaviour wasn’t born out of morals, he soon realized.

It was predatory behaviour, like the Viper he was.

An opportunistic predator.

Julian sat in waiting; he waited for another to initiate the struggle against death. And then, before they could blink, before they could realize that their easy target isn’t so easy, they’re gone.

It was amusing to watch as his peers’ brows furrowed in confusion as to why he was still alive.

And yet, no one figured it out.

No one suspects the fool, after all.

Julian was probably the most dangerous Viper in the keep.

*

As soon as Julian earned his Viper medallion, he left Blood Gate Keep and never looked back.

Julian felt silly wearing two medallions at once, and with great reluctance, he took off the medallion from his parents and packed it at the bottom of his pack with care. He knew his new witcher medallion would be of more use, and would probably save his life, whereas he didn’t know the first thing about how to work the medallion his parents gave him. It was one of the few times he felt truly upset with himself, for all his achievements at Blood Gate Keep, he couldn’t figure out a simple magic piece.

Nonetheless, he didn’t bother with goodbyes or a grand departure. He felt no comradery with the vipers he had shared a den with.

And maybe he walked away with a few witcher corpses at his feet, but that was neither here nor there.

*

There are stories of a witcher with blue eyes.

But those stories haven’t been told in years, and Geralt forgets about them like bedtime stories told to children when they’re young.

After all, a witcher with blue eyes doesn’t exist.

*

As is the cycle with history, new stories come about.

*

There are stories of a bard with blue eyes.

*

[a-jynx]

Expensive Taste; P2

Excerpt; Happiness comes at a price, and it could be something you're not willing to pay...

Warning; Cursing, mentions of dreamlands/derealization, gore, blood, and sword fights mentioned, minor character death, childhood trauma,

Pairing; Quackity x reader [ female pronouns ]

[ Male vers. / GN vers. ]

a/n; uhhh, omg?? You guys are insane! I'm honestly shocked by how well Expensive Taste did! I'm so happy you all loved it so much, and I hope this part gets as much love and hype!

~~~~

“You’re a fucking joke, Sap,” Y/N spat, shoving Sapnap back as he stumbled backward. Quackity and Punz stood behind, watching as she walked closer, with a glare already set on her face. “Are you somehow surprised that I’m not some obedient dog?! Scared that the bitch is fighting back?” The spine-chilling smile made Sapnap take a step back before snarling towards his younger sister.

“I miss my real sister - the girl who’d never hurt anyone, wouldn’t fight back against someone trying to protect her,”

“I do not need your fucking protection, you fucking pathetic excuse of a brother!” Y/N’s voice bounced around them as the once thumping music came to a slow halt, causing everyone’s attention to shift towards the small group. The casino floor became swallowed with thick silence, as Quackity glanced towards Punz who took a step in front of her.

“That’s enough, everyone is to leave.” His voice amplified as everyone stood still, no one daring to move until he grit his teeth. “I said MOVE IT.” All jumped and began moving towards the entrance as he followed behind a small group of people, glancing over his shoulder to Quackity, who gave him a quick nod.

“Why don’t we just calm down-”

“Quackity shut the-”

“Don’t finish that fucking sentence, Sapnap.” Y/N stepped in front of her fiance, snarling at her brother who frowned. “This is between us, so focus your anger towards me.”

“Trust me, all my pent anger will be directed towards you, Sparkler.” He snickered as she narrowed her eyes, lips pressing into a straight line.

“Don’t call me that. You lost the privilege to call me that.” She growled, hatred and venom evident in her voice. A gentle hand tugged on her wrist, making her turn towards Quackity as he shot her a soft look before smiling, causing her frown to turn into a gentle smile.

“Why don’t we take this somewhere more private..?” The scarred man spoke easily as Sap scoffed, crossing his hands over his chest as Y/N snapped her attention back to her brother.

“Remember..? We have nothing to discuss, Quackity. This is between my sister and I.” The Blazeborn hissed as small waves of smoke lifted from his fingertips and curled up lips. She narrowed her eyes before taking a step away from Quackity, whose touch chased after her warmth.

“Don’t you dare go Blaze in here, Sapnap. Don’t start something you cannot finish.” She murmured, keeping her voice low but promising of a threat.

“You and I, now,” he snags her arm, tugging her towards the private back rooms as Quackity stood there, worrying, as he watched his ex take his Amor behind a closed door.

~~~~

She stumbled on her heels as Sapnap shoved her through the doorway, grumbling as she caught herself on the small stage.

“Are you fucking serious-” her voice trailed as she listened to the lock flip as Sap locked the door behind them, standing between Y/N and the door with a quivering smile. Her eyes grew wide as she took a step back, her heels dragging across the blacked-out carpet.

“Sap? Sapnap, what the hell are you doing-”

“It’s all your fault, you fucking whore.” He hissed, his eyes glowing the burning red and orange as he drew his Netherite sword. “You’re the reason I lost him, but I can gain him back… Easily.” He took a stride towards her, swinging the sword down as she stumbled backward, quickly kicking off her crystal heels as she moved around the small stage; blocking Sapnap from her.

“Are you fucking insane?!” She gulped, sneaking around the stage as Sap crept around the other side, snarling as he dragged the sword behind, tearing up the carpet with each step.

“Call me love-struck,” he spat, suddenly jumping across the smaller stage as her eyes grew wide, tumbling back and knocking into the floor as she caught the sword; a scream breaking through her lips as blood slowly leaked from the edge cutting into her palms. “Or love-sick, whichever you prefer.” He snickered, pressing his body weight into the sword as his own palm angled, pressing into the hilt and edge with a crazed look breaking through his Blaze-colored eyes. His dark hair sprouting into flames as she grits her teeth, releasing another scream as she pushes her arms up and into the sword, knocking Sap off and away as she sits up, heaving.

“You.. You fucking bitch!” Sapnap suddenly growled, causing her to glance up, her chest rising and falling steadily before a soft gasp left her lips. Sap sat with his side turned into the bottom of the black stone stage, clutching his face. Blood dribbled down from his palm, the steady stream giving a small glimpse into the true damage. His head snapped up, a large slice had broken through the skin of his cheek from his mouth.

Her eyes watered at the sight of her brother, fear suddenly prickling along the back of her neck as he moved to press his back against the stage while she began to shake.. The room began to feel warm - no hot.. No boil - boiling. It felt as if the air around her had begun to melt her skin off as the room around her slowly shifted. Bright lava began to ooze from between the ceiling tiles and to break and crack through the carpeted floor as she scrambled to her feet, spinning until the room had shifted into her last home… The sweltering and deathful Nether.

“Sap! Sappy, come back up here!” A gentle voice echoed over the tormenting pops of lava, Y/N’s eyes towards the voices before carefully moving towards them. Peeking over the netherrack, she swallowed a gasp as she recognized herself as a child, and a dark raven-haired boy swimming in the lava below.

“No way, Sparkler! This feels amazing, why don’t you,” he called in a sing-song tone. “Come down here?” The smirk was evident in his voice as Y/N frowned, suddenly feeling anxious as she watched the small girl lean closer to the edge.

“Sappy, you know I can’t swim like you! This is cheating anyway!” The young girl called down to him. The young version of Sapnap scoffed before climbing out of the large lava lake and climbing up the small netherrack hill towards young Y/N.

“Oh, shut it! It’s not cheating when you can easily just come in and get me,”

“I can’t! I’d.. I’d-” her voice trailed as the young boy scoffed, shaking his head free of the sticking lava bits.

“I’d - I’d - I’d - You’d what, Sparkler? You’d be fine!” He laughed as she gutted out her bottom lip, hugging herself despite the sweltering heat surrounding the young siblings.

“Can we please just do something else? I’m tired of playing tag anyway…” She muttered, playing with the burnt edge of her t-shirt, as little Sapnap nodded, moving towards where he had placed his t-shirt and clothes. His little Diamond sword glittering from the falling lava as he picked it up, admiring himself in the blades’ reflection.

“Yeah, why don’t we try your training some more? I know you went easy on that Techno kid..” Sapnap lightly spat as Y/N frowned, tugging out her own diamond sword. Tracing her finger along the edge, meeting her own eyes in the mirroring image. Furrowing her brows as she stared into the reflection, noticing a sudden… Glow to her eyes.

Suddenly, her sword is knocked from her loose grip, nicking her fingertips as it clatters to the cracked floor. Snapping her head up, she growled towards her brother whilst he smirked, holding his blades’ point towards her chest.

“One point for me, sis..” He cackled as she scoffed, scooping up the sword as he took a step back readying himself again.

“Not fair, I-”

“All’s fair in war, Sparkler,” Sapnap spoke matter-of-factly, tilting his sword to the side while shooting her a wicked smile.

“This isn’t war, Sappy..” She rolled her eyes as he huffed, launching himself at her. She stepped back, stumbling over a crack before raising her own blade. The sharp metals met together and yelled as Sapnap continued his attack, bashing down on the opposing blade with a sneer. Y/N caught his blade and turned her own away from her body, hooking his and forcing it off of her. She watched as he stumbled back from the sudden force, shock evident on his face as she turned and rushed away as icy fear shot through her veins at his loud huff of annoyance.

“This seems a little,” she paused, spinning towards the left and catching his sword easily. “Excessive, Sap!” She called over the continuous screech of the metals meeting each other; sparks flying as she continued to back away. Y/N kept walking until she glanced back to see the edge of the netherrack hill, the lava lake below them popping and bubbling as she grew wide-eyed.

“Sapnap! Sap, stop the edge-” she suddenly cried out before she felt his sword slice down her arm, effectively cutting through her t-shirt sleeve and her skin in angry backlash, the bright crimson flying out as the blade clashed onto the netherrack. Her own sword clatters to the ground, her tired body following as she grasps her injured arm, choking sobs and gasps leaving her as she cradles herself.

Sapnap stood over her shaking body, his grip loosening on the hilt before allowing the sword to clatter by his feet while watching his sister wither. He swallows thickly before stepping towards her, only to stop as she tries to scoot away, despite the edge threatening the promise of falling into the lava below.

“Sap? Y/N/N?” A voice called out as footsteps approached the sibling pair. Sapnap looked towards the area it had come from and he felt dread and fear shoot through his veins as one of their father’s rounded the corner - his bright blue hoodie and jeans standing out from the harsh red tones. “Sap, what happ- Y/n! Baby, what the hell happened?!” He rushed towards the siblings, skidding across the rough floor as he scooped up Y/N’s small, sniffling body as one of his hands dragged her hand away from the wound.

“What happened?” Skeppy hissed as Sapnap gulped, his palms began to sweat as he opened his mouth, eyes watering.

“I… I didn’t mean,” his voice fell as Skeppy huffed, the look of disappointment already spreading across his father’s face. Silent tears dripped down Sapnap’s burning face as Skeppy stood, lifting Y/N’s shuttering body and holding her close to his chest before reaching one with one hand towards Sapnap, tugging him close as they left the swords behind… One blade still covered with blood while the other laid, threatening to tumble off the edge.. Who knew that the swords would soon represent the siblings soon enough..

~~~~

“Y/n?! Y/N!? Mi Amor?!” Quackity’s voice broke through the darkness, Y/N’s eyes fluttered open as Quackity’s thumb brushed over the tears that streaked down her reddening cheek. She suddenly gasped, shooting up from the floor as her fiance dove back, avoiding her sudden action. She curls in on herself, looking wildly around the room before noticing the door open and Sapnap gone.

“Where’s - Where’d he-” Y/N shook, her nails digging themselves into the meat of her calf as Quackity moved forward quickly, grabbing her wrist and gently tugging her hands from their tight grips on her.

“Gone. He’s gone and he’s never allowed back here, especially not after pulling that shit,” he hissed, pressing his forehead against her own. The feel of his hair, beanie, and grip on her wrists helped her slowly calm down, despite the pounding of her heart.

“He’ll never hurt you again, not while I’m here.” He whispered against her hairline before pressing his lips against her warm skin. Y/N allowed her eyes to flutter shut once more, leaning into the gentle yet grounding touch.

“He.. What the fuck happened?” She murmured, just above a whisper as Quackity sighed, gently dropping her wrists and standing, offering his hand to her as she shakingly stood with him.

“I.. I don’t even know,” Big Qs voice trailed as he reached up, rubbing his eyes with his free hand before gently guiding Y/N out of the room. “I was talking to Punz about how weird he’s been acting, and then we heard you scream.. But, we couldn’t get into the room and we didn’t know what was happening, but hearing you scream and just the shouts and threats made my blood boil,”

“Q, my dream, I’m okay now.. Sure, a little banged up and bloody,” she lightly chuckled, leaning into his side while showing the irritated and dried-up cuts on her palms; he frowned. “But, I’m alive and that’s thanks to you.” She mumbled, pressing her lips against his, grinning into the kiss as one of his arms wrapped around her waist, keeping her close as someone cleared their throats from behind them. Tilting her head, she shot a grin to Punz as he mirrored the smile.

“What no thanks to the guy who dragged your psychotic brother out?” He huffed, yet the teasing tone gave its way. Y/N chuckled before stepping away from Quackity and towards Punz, gripping his chin and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek.

“That better, ya big baby?” She teased, a smile crossing both of their faces as Q chuckled, moving to her side as they moved towards the office. A smile still present on her face, however the feeling of dread and anxiety washed over her shoulders as she leaned further into Quackity’s side - him easily accepting it.

Something in her heart and mind told her this wasn’t going to be the last time blood was spilled on this country's land..

~~~~

Sapnap stumbled as Punz shoved him forward, his knees and palms colliding with gravel. He spun on his knees, blood streaking down his chin and throat, staining his white tee.

“You made a mistake coming here expecting anything but blood to be spilled.” Punz spat, wiping his hand across his dark jeans, the crimson streaking across it. Sap coughed out a laugh, blood and spit splattering onto the sand.

“That’s my sister! That’s my blood and he stole her-”

“She came here looking for him, Sapnap. She chose to live here, to stay here, to leave your ass behind. Respect that before something happens that no one can fix.” Punz hissed, his arms crossing over his chest as they held each other’s gaze. The bloody man scoffed, slowly sitting back on his calves as Punz took a step back, keeping their gaze locked.

“I’ll come back, it doesn’t matter what happens, I’ll still come back,” the raven-haired man slowly moved to stand, causing Punz to frown before his attention dragged up, spotting a colorful hoodie climbing up the tall, sandy hill.

“Karl. You’re a little late,” Punz frowned before nodding towards the brunette’s fiance. “Next time, don’t let him leave the house.. Especially with ill intentions.” He clicked his tongue as Karl moved closer, standing next to Sapnap, a frown evident on his face. He only nods towards Punz, who returns the gesture before turning on his heel and leaving the couple.

Karl knelt down next to Sap, carefully helping him stand. He flinched at the large gash, gently touching the dried blood with trembling fingers. Closing his eyes and biting his lip, Karl pressed his forehead to Sap’s, feeling the sticky sweat and if he focused hard enough, he could almost feel his pounding pulse.

“Why are you such a meathead?” He mumbled, pressing a chaste kiss to Sap’s cheek before leaning back, swallowing thickly with a sigh. “Leave them be, Sap.. They have their happiness, we have ours - let them have this.” His voice shaking as Sapnap froze, his body growing rigid as Karl tightened his hold on him. He could feel the heat slowly rising from Sapnap’s body, making him huff as he gave a squeeze.

“Let them live in their happiness and let us live in our own happiness- it’s what we deserve after everything,” he mumbled into Sap’s neck, the heat causing Karl to sweat and burn red. He shook from the pain rippling through his hoodie and jeans as Sapnap scoffed, his eyes watering.

“I’m done,” he whispered, making Karl lean back slowly to look him in the eyes, seeing the slow tears streak from the corner of his darkening eyes. “I’m done being a second thought - second place. Why does she get everything? Why does everything get handed to her while I have to claw and.. And fight, and bite to try and survive..?” Sapnap’s voice quivered as the smoke slowly dissipated, leaving him slumped against Karl’s frame.

“You don’t have to fight them… We have our country - our kingdom - where we’ll be safe, and no more second place, yeah? We’ll have each other, we’ll… We’ll have everything we need.” Karl stuttered, sliding his hands up and cradling Sap’s face with a hesitant tap on his left side, avoiding the gnarled gash. “We’ll make it..”

“I don’t want to just make it,” Sap hissed, resting his hand on top of the smaller male’s hand with a sigh. Tightening his grip, trying to clench his jaw only to wince in pain as Karl stepped closer, pressing his chest against his. Blinking, he revealed his vibrant orange eyes, smirking, “I want her to pay..”

~~~~

Night fell over the lively country, the neon signs buzzing and the streets were bustling with life, cool air blowing past, knocking strands of hair free as Y/N pressed herself against the railing. Quackity and her had left the casino, escaping to the Space Needle with both their thoughts battling against one another. She sighed, eyes flickering all over their country, able to see the night allow it to breathe its true beauty.

A hand grazed her lower back, causing her to slightly jump before sighing and relaxing into the touch as Quackity came into view. Shedding his blazer, situating it on top of her shoulders with a gentle peck.

“Enjoying the view?” He grinned as she hummed, leaning into his side as he placed an arm around her shoulders, rubbing his thumb across the soft material of his jacket. Big Q side-eyed her, still seeing the dazed and lost look in her eyes before he sighed, turning her towards him. “Are you still worried about Sapnap?”

She couldn’t help but scoff, “I know I acted big and not afraid, but… I know Sapnap. He’s going to do whatever he sets his mind to, so who knows what the hell is going to happen.” She sighed, reaching up and rubbing her eyes, relieving the itch from her glittery make-up.

“Mi Vida.. I know him too, remember? I was engaged to him,” Quackity chuckled, reaching up and brushing his thumb over her cheek. “And who cares what the hell happens? As long as I have you and our country safe, I could care less about what happens.” He smiled, leaning in and pressing their lips tightly together. Y/N couldn’t help but smile into the embrace, brushing her nose against his before reaching up and caressing his cheek, her thumb rubbing across the ridged scar.

“You’re crazy, Quackity,” she shook her head with a small smile as Quackity nodded, reaching into his slacks’ back pocket, pulling out a small velvet box. Y/N’s eyes grew wide at the sight of the box, her brows knitting together.

“I may be crazy, but I’m so lucky to have you. You saved me.” He mumbled, opening the box and revealing the golden band with a glittering Sapphire shimmered as he picked it up, offering it as Y/N nodded slowly. Pressing another kiss to her lips as she melted into it. His thumb brushing over her hip, hugging her closer as if to mold his body around her - to protect her.

“And you saved me, Mi Caballero,” she muttered against his lips before leaning back, seeing the dreamy look on his face.

“Come on, we need to meet everyone downstairs for a meeting. We need to discuss what protocols will be needed to ensure that Las Nevadas continues to stand.” A wide grin split across his face as he backed away, his hand still holding hers tightly before pressing small butterfly kisses across her now decorated knuckle before retreating back into the needle.

Y/N watched with a glowing smile, her grip tightening around the jacket whilst tugging it closer to her; turning back towards the lively city, she sighed. Quackity would do anything for her, and she would do anything for him. And that’s the scary part. They would give anything and everything up for the other to live carefreely.. And yet their happiness lived with one another, now there was a threat to their paradise.

Straightening her back, turning on her heel, and moving back inside, her face hardening as she moved swiftly towards the stairs. Dropping her hands from clutching the sides of her boyfriend’s jacket, the clicking of her heels against the polished quartz caused a smirk to grace her lips. Stopping a few steps above the floor, her eyes met Quackity and Punz, who held smiles. Punz moved towards her, offering a hand as she nodded, smirking still as Quackity met her halfway. “What’re we waiting for, boys? An invitation?”

~~~~

Her skin began to turn a grey color - rotting, withered almost - while vibrant blue washed over her eyes, and erupted in flames from her fingertips. Sapnap stumbled back, a scream escaping his lips before he slapped a hand over his mouth; fear rushed through his veins as he felt his own skin begin to heat up, feeling threatened.

“Sap.. Sapnap, I don’t know what’s happening-”

“Stay back and… And just stay there! Wait till Dad or Papa gets back!” He huffed, gulping as he watched her move her fingers, adjusting to the strength of the flames. A giggle left her lips as he furrowed his brows, why did hers look so different? Frowning at the flames, he stood and moved towards her, his orange flames mixing with hers as he lightly giggled as the flames danced it almost felt like light tickles.

“This is so cool! I’m just like you, Sappy!” Y/N broke into a huge smile as he lightly chuckled before giving a small nod.

“Yeah, you are, Sparkler… This is so weird, why are yours-”

“Sap, Y/N! We need help with, oh my muffin,” Bad went silent as Sapnap and Y/N turned towards their father, their little eyes growing wide as he dropped the groceries. He quickly moved towards them, gently taking Y/N’s hand into his as she quickly dropped the flames, feeling embarrassment crawl up her neck.

“Y/N/N, muffin-cake, what was that? When did this start?” Bad asked, carefully as she chewed on her bottom lip before allowing the flames to erupt again from her fingers.

“I… I don’t know. I’ve been able to do it for a little bit, but I never needed to.. Are you upset?” She mumbled the last part as Bad chuckled, wrapping his arms around the small girl with a sigh.

“Of course not, honey! I’m just surprised that you’ve developed something like Sappy!” Bad pressed a soft kiss to her hairline as Sap watched, jumping when a hand landed on his shoulder turning to meet Skeppy, who was grinning up a storm.

“Looks like we have a Blazeborn AND Soul eater.”

“A… what?” Sap and Y/N spoke together, causing their fathers’ to laugh.

“A Soul eater, someone who is able to walk across soul sand faster, control souls from the flames, and if threatened - like how Sap gets to summon lava? You’d be able to take over someone’s soul to deter them from hurting you.” Skeppy explained as the two siblings nodded, blinking as they looked at one another.

“That’s so cool!” Y/N exclaimed as they chuckled, nodding along as Sap frowned. He was the cool one before… He was the one who had powers from the Nether, and now she got those too?

Everything began to melt around him, causing him to jump and dodge the large drops of his old childhood house. Sand burst up through the floorboards as he jumped, dodging the floor exploding up, knocking him backward, and causing his back to collide with the sand. Scrambling to his feet, he huffed as he saw a figure standing before him, licking his lips and squinting he noticed the stature… Y/N.

“Y/N? Hey, what the hell is-” his voice trailed as he watched a ball of blue flame hurdle towards him. Throwing himself off to the side, feeling the extreme heat fly over him as his arms covered his head. Sitting on his calves, he turned to see part of an oak forest erupted into intense, crackling blue flames.

“ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!” Sapnap screamed towards his sister, standing onto his feet and seeing her body facing him, a blue flame still flickering in her palm. She stood as if she had an injury, favoring her right side. Narrowing his eyes, he summoned his own orange flames with a snarl. “You know this isn’t a fair fight, Y/N!” He shouted towards her, carefully moving through the sand towards her with creased lips. Keeping his flamed hand out ahead of him, in case of her firing another flame ball.

He stopped in front of her, her focus straight ahead yet he flinched at seeing the bright whites of her eyes as he moved around to her left, glaring. Dried blood flaked off of the side of her neck and stained her t-shirt, while crimson still dripped down from her fingertips, a gradually growing puddle made him frown.

“Sparkler..? What the hell happened-” he spoke, only to get cut off as it felt as if someone had stabbed a sword through his chest. Feeling his throat slowly close as his heart began to work double-time to try and get more oxygen flowing. The flames on his fingertips died quickly as he coughed and gagged, his eyes rolling back as he dropped to his knees, clawing at his throat to try and relieve any of the force before falling face forward, blacking out.

~~~~

Karl gasped, sitting up as he awoke, clawing at his own throat, feeling his heart pound against his chest like thundering hooves. Turning over, he sighed at the sight of Sapnap asleep next to him, flopping back down into the covers, Karl flicked his tongue over his lips as he squeezed his eyes shut, allowing the tears to streak down his cheeks.

The worst part about being a time traveler is the stories that get spoiled for you.. Especially those who you care about. Dragging one of his shaking hands over his face, he sighed gently as he turned onto his side, curling into Sap’s back finding comfort in the warmth radiating off his skin. Wrapping his arms around Sapnap’s middle, he pressed his nose between his shoulder blades, squeezing his eyes shut as images of Sapnap’s body laid before him - blood and sand coating him.

“Sap..? Sapnap, wake up,” Karl squeezed his sides and arms, causing him to hum and roll over, cradling the brunette close to his chest.

“What Kar,” his voice slurred with sleep, causing a spike of guilt to pierce Karl’s heart as he buried himself into the raven-haired man’s chest, fighting back tears.

“I love you. I love you so much, and I don’t want to lose you, please just leave them alone.. Please, I can’t handle losing you,” he mumbled into his fiance’s chest, clinging to him while Sapnap’s thumb dug circles into Karl’s shoulder, attempting to bring the brunette comfort even while sluggish with sleep. Sapnap could only hum, his mind still plagued with deep sleep before pressing his lips to Karl’s crown, snuggling further into the mop of curls below his chin.

“It’ll be fine, Karl.. Get some sleep.” The raven-haired man sighed, holding his lover closer at the feeling of Karl digging his blunt nails into Sap’s side and back.

Both of their minds are plagued with thoughts of either killing someone they love or watching someone they love die - both know blood will be spilled and their happiness is slowly becoming what could lead to their insanity…

~~~~

a/n; taglist wise stuff, I don't think I'll continue putting one unless asked, as so many people are liking and Tumblr does give a tagging limit! So if you're worried about missing something, please turn on my notifications! <3 I will also be working on the Male and GN versions of this for a few days, as this is a longer part, and I will also be working on Part 3!

Tags: @aphroditeandvenus-blog, @paintingportrait, @sourdoughnoodles, @mult1xtr1nna, @trashpiegon, @trixyvixen, @sxturn-0, @thescoutsb13tch, @banghaydencoven, @707xn, @supernaturalboi, @basementfloorfeelings, @june-x-boi, @aloookay,@dreamzluvrr, @theforestcryptid926, @fantasticpurseturtleknight, @cheesysin, @kxrmitty, @socially-blue, @excuijme, @lonley-nightmare, @kittenachu, @alleyesonmendes, @itsoakaa, @saifukus, @alec-lost-bee, @nattsaa, @dayanavmb, @boiciph3r, @leenthepanda, @0a-little-bit-of-everything0, @howdycharlie, @joinotfound, @coreys-riffin, @fa1ryclouds, @honeyimluctus, @tittylover6000, @noctis-yeye, @kiritokunuwu, @novelist2, @sn3k-was-here, @traumatizedladybug, @weepinghollywoodatsupernatural,

Until tomorrow, I hope you have a beautiful day! ~ J

[maddiwrites]

Secret Lives (Part 3)

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: You and JJ never got along so your friends trap the two of you on a boat in the middle of the marsh to work it out. Only it doesn’t go as planned. 

Note: Hey guys! Remember this little series I wrote? A lot of people asked for a part three and I truly had no plans to write one, but I came up with one for you if you if guys are even still interested, who knows. I don’t know how I feel about it. Kinda seems dramatic of me, but oh well. Its been in my drafts for forever so I’m finally posting it. Let me know!! If I tagged you, its because you were tagged in part 2 or asked to be tagged in part 3! 

Word count: 6k

Warnings: mentions of abuse, drugs, violence, and death

 Part 1   Part 2    Masterlist

The relationship you and JJ had transpired into something no one saw coming. Your friends thought your friendship was unsalvageable after what happened when they trapped you in the middle of the marsh with one another. You had reached your breaking point and they didn’t think you’d ever come back to them. But you did. Not only did you come back to them, but you came back to JJ. 

The two of you, once closed off around each other, were now inseparable. You spent almost every day together. You followed him around his work schedule and he snuck through your window any chance he got because he didn’t want to spend one night without you. Your family was surprisingly very accepting of JJ. Your mother was first worried, knowing how men on the Cut can grow into something/someone no parent would want for their daughter. And Andrew knew of Luke Maybank from word of mouth and was afraid JJ might be just like him. But the first night you invited him to dinner at your house, your parents welcomed him into your family. He was polite, mature, and personable throughout the whole meal. You remembered that night well. The morning of, he  called you panicking because he didn’t know what to wear. You told him to wear whatever he wanted, but he was afraid the Kildare County T shirt and cargo shorts wouldn’t send the right message. So you took him shopping on the mainland. Together you took the ferry and made him play dress up in stores you knew he couldn’t afford. He felt bad that you were paying for his new wardrobe, but you promised it was something you wanted to do because you would do anything to make him feel better about this night. That night he came to your door with a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a bottle of Scotch he told Andrew his dad bought for him for that night. Your little sister absolutely adored him, barely giving him enough time to kiss you hello or goodbye. 

You and JJ were more alike than either of you could even imagine. Your temper wasn’t as short as JJ’s, but you weren’t afraid of a fight when it presented itself to you. Your mother always said that’s what happens when you grow up on the Cut. You learn to fight for what you want and need. Most of the time JJ liked that about you. Seeing you standing up for yourself was a huge turn on to him and he felt prideful when onlookers would watch impressed because they didn’t expect a girl from Figure Eight to fight like that. He never let it get physical though even though he always thought it would be hot to see you in a cat fight with some rich bitch from your school. He cared too much about you to let you get hurt. 

You and JJ have another similarity no one outside of the Pogues know about. Although you hate it more than anything, you and JJ live through the trauma of having an abusive father. As if dealing with your father alone wasn’t stressful enough, he created a few fights between you and your boyfriend. JJ was constantly on your case when you were hiding a new bruise or silently frustrated from a previous conversation with your father. You tried not to find it overbearing because JJ was just concerned. You promised you’d stop seeing your father. It was easier for you than for JJ because you had another family to fall back on. A loving mother, a generous step father, and a boisterous little sister. The perfect family. Which is why you felt so guilty that they didn’t seem like enough. ‘Cause it didn’t matter how much money Andrew had, or if he said he loved you like his own, or that he promised you he would never hurt your mother on the day he proposed. He wasn’t your real dad. Your real dad was out there, living in filth and drugs. Without a second income, he couldn’t pay his bills or own a car to drive himself to work every day. He blamed that on you and your mother and you fell for his pity party every single time. 

JJ knew when you were lying. You’d wearing more clothes on the days you were hiding your skin and quieter on the days when you were thinking back to the hateful things your father yelled at you the day before. He hated that there was someone out there laying their hands on you and there was nothing he could do about it. JJ knew the kind of damage that could happen if he tried to physically intervene and it didn’t work. Every time he brought it up, it would only start a heated argument. You would bring up his own father and how JJ wouldn’t let you say anything to Luke, even on the days you two were face to face at Barry’s home with your own father. You hated that JJ thought he could come between you and your father, but you couldn’t do the same. It was hard to believe you two were using your own father’s against each other to prove a point.

Today was no different. It was sunny, cloudless day in the middle of the summer. Which meant the perfect boat day for you and your Pogues. John B was excited to fish, JJ and Pope were excited to swim, Kie to tan. And you? Well you weren’t excited all at. Because last night was a particularly bad night between you and your dad. 

He had taken you out to Barry’s again, forcing you to come inside so he could show you off like his own personal wallet. He drained you of another four hundred dollars after Barry threatened to shoot your father in the head if he didn’t get his money. And you hesitated. Not because you wanted your father to die, but because you had never had a gun pointed at another person in your vicinity. Ever. But that’s not how your dad took it. When you dropped him off, he had you come inside so he could give you his unpaid utility bills. When you least expected it, your dad shoved you hard into the countertop, the corner of it jabbing into your side. Even when you fell to the floor, your father didn’t stop kicking you in your stomach. He called you ungrateful and disloyal. He told you he wished you had never been born - how you ruin everything. You cried into the tiled floors until your dad tired himself out, grabbed a beer, and went to bed.

Your torso was covered in blue and purple bruises when you woke up. Even the warm water from you shower this morning felt like a million little needles pricking your skin.  You contemplated texting the Pogues, telling them you felt sick and that you couldn’t go today. But when you looked out the window and saw the perfect day, you didn’t want to miss out on the sun or a day out with your friends. Your father’s taken a lot from you, but you wouldn’t let him take this.

You wore a one piece bathing suit you had no intention of showing anyone today. JJ greeted you first when the Pogue pulled up to your dock. His arm wrapped around your waist, his hand lightly squeezing your side. You inevitably flinched but forced out a giggle to make it look like JJ had only tickled you. Not hurt you. No one thought anything of it. No one but JJ. He watched you with a narrowed gaze as you said your hellos to the others and popped a squat next to Kie and Sarah.

When John B docked the boat, everyone immediately undressed to get into the cool water.

“C’mon, babe. You’re my partner for Chicken,” JJ walked up to you, the two of you the only ones on the boat.

You looked up and admired his shirtless, toned body. His tan skin glowed against the North Carolina sun and you couldn’t understand how you got so lucky to call him yours.

Then you remembered your predicament and looked out towards your friends to avoid his stare. “I’m not feeling that great today, J.”

“What’s wrong?” JJ asked but he didn’t need to. He already knew what was wrong. He just wanted to see if you would lie about it again.

“Just nauseous,” you said, “I think I ate some bad eggs this morning or something.”

“Some bad eggs, huh?” JJ scoffed.

“JJ...” you sighed. You knew he didn’t buy your lame excuse. You wouldn’t either if it was the other way around.

“You went to see him again, didn’t you?” It wasn’t a question it was a statement.

“Can we not do this here? Please.” You practically begged. You knew this argument could get heated. It usually always did. Neither of you meant to get mad at one another. In the end, it was your dad who was in the wrong. But you guys didn’t like seeing the other one hurt. It was both frustrating and exhausting.

JJ rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He dove into the water head first and swam out towards his friends.

You dropped your head on the boat’s steering wheel, your forehead thumping against it. You wished cutting ties with your dad was as it easy as it sounds. But now you know that Barry would kill your dad if you didn’t show up for him with the money he owed. And you couldn’t let that happen. It would feel like murdering your own father.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

A week later, you found yourself at another boneyard party with your friends. You tried your best to enjoy the night despite your boyfriend giving you the cold shoulder. He was still mad about the incident on the boat. The two of you fought about it when you got back to the Chateau. He knew you were holding something back from him. And you were. You never mentioned Barry or the drugs or the gun to him. As far as JJ knew, you paid your dad’s bills and took him out to lunch every once in a while. And you wanted to keep it this way - afraid of what he might think knowing you were spending time with not only a notorious drug dealer, but his own father.

“I’m gonna get another drink,” you tell Kie as the two of you watched JJ and John B play beer pong against two Tourons.

She nodded and kept her eyes trained on the winning Pogues.

Before you reached the keg, a hand wrapped around your wrist and pulled you away from the crowd, towards the water. When you looked up at who it was, you ripped your hand away and glared at the blonde Kook.

“Y/N -“

“What the hell do you want, Rafe?” You could tell he was high. His eyes wouldn’t stop flickering back between yours, his balance was off, and his pupils were dilated.

“I - I screwed up. I don’t have the money - I didn’t make enough money for Barry’s blow. He’s gonna kill me.”

“Hey, hey. Calm down,” you looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

“You need to help me. You need to sell this -“ he tried shoving small baggies into your hands but you pulled yourself away like he was offering your a lit flame.

“Are you out of your mind. Put that away!”

“I wasn’t - wasn’t keeping track of how many people were using my shit. And then there was this girl -“

“Rafe, I can’t do this.”

“JJ can help. Yeah? His dad -“

“JJ stays out of this,” you took another step towards him so you were face to face with the Kook and he could see how serious you were, even through his high state of mind. “You hear me? JJ’s nothing like his dad and I swear to god I’ll kill you first if you say anything to him.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Rafe raised his voice, frustrated that he couldn’t come up with any other ideas of how he was supposed to get his money back.

“Hey!” You froze when another voice broke you and Rafe apart. JJ walked up from behind you and pointed his finger at the Kook. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get away from her.”

You let JJ pull you behind him but kept your eyes on Rafe, trying to warn him from saying anything to your already fired up boyfriend.

Rafe sniffled and took a step back. “Nothing, dude. Relax. Okay?”

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

“Rafe was just leaving,” you said and kept your eyes on Rafe.

“Y/N, you don’t understand. Barry -“

“Rafe!”

JJ’s head snapped in your direction and his brows furrowed in confusion. He knew that name. His dad’s mentioned that name before. It’s usually followed by coke prices.

Rafe just glared at you. “If I die, it’s on you.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked down at the sand as Rafe walked away. JJ slowly turned to look at you as his brain scrambled to put the pieces together.

“Y/N...”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You said quickly.

“How do you know Barry?” JJ pushed. He didn’t care if you didn’t want to talk about it. He was tired of letting you push him away.

“He’s my dad’s dealer, J. We’ve been over this.” You tried walking away from him but he grabbed your wrist to make you look at him.

“You been to his house?” JJ asked. When you didn’t answer, he took a step back and looked at you incredulously. “You work for him now?”

You glared at him. “Of course not!”

“Then -“

“My dad makes me pay for his shit, okay? And I can’t stop or else Barry will kill him.” You snapped. Tears pricked at your waterline and threatened to fall.

“Barry won’t kill -“

“He pointed a gun at his head the other day! I was there! I had to scoff up hundreds of dollars to save his life.” You shook your head. “And that still wasn’t enough to save myself from a stupid beating. So please stop telling me how much easier it is for me to escape him. Stop telling me how lucky I am to have such a great family to rely on. Because I don’t! If I don’t help my dad out, I might as well sign his death warrant myself.”

JJ’s heart physically cracked in his chest at the sight of you. You were falling apart. Here at a boneyard party, where you should be having fun and forgetting about your problems. But instead he pushed you too far, and although he was relieved to finally hear the truth from you, he wished it had been in the privacy of your home or the Chateau. When he looked over your shoulder, he saw the worried looks of the Pogues looking at them. He didn’t know if he heard them, but he hoped they hadn’t. He still needed time to process this without the pestering questions from his friends. Even if they meant well.

“Okay,” JJ said softly. “Okay. I won’t say anything. I’m sorry. Can we just - “ he sighed. “Can we just go back to the Chateau? I just wanna hold you.”

You sniffled and meekly nodded your head. You were angry and frustrated. But not at him. At Rafe. At your own father. At the world. And you just wanted your boyfriend too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That night, you fell asleep pretty fast. From your sore body, to the sleepless nights thinking about Barry and his threats, and the warmth of JJ’s body held against you, your exhausted state quickly took over you. You felt like you could sleep for hours.

JJ, however, did not. He stared up at the blank ceiling with his forearm tucked under his head as his other arm stayed wrapped around you. He couldn’t stop picturing you at Barry’s home with a bunch of old low lifes, scared and innocent. He wondered if his dad was ever there - if he ever said anything to you.

He hated that there wasn’t anything he could do for you unless your dad was gone.

Gone.

And idea popped into his head like someone flicked a light switch on in his brain. He turned his head, back and forth, looking for your phone. When he found it charging on his night stand, he stretched his arm out for it, careful not to wake up your sleeping figure.

He secretly knew your passcode after subtly watching you type it in a couple weeks ago.

His fingers tapped against your screen until he found the app he was looking for. Glancing down at you one last time, he shared your location with his phone.

When you squirmed in his embrace, JJ quickly put the phone back where he found it and pretended to be asleep in case you peeked an eye open at him. He hoped you didn’t feel his heart racing against his rib cage or his uneven breaths. He knew if you found out what he was doing, you’d be pissed. But before he fell asleep, he promised he was going to do anything necessary to keep you safe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On the day JJ knew you were going to be busy all day babysitting your neighbor’s kids, he rode his bike to Kildare County’s police station. He stared at the entrance for a long couple of seconds, hating every second of being in near proximity to this place. Basically going against every natural instinct he had to stay away and not trust the police.

But he was doing this for you.

He walked in, ignoring the couple of looks from officers he’s encountered over the years. They were mostly surprised he wasn’t being forced through the doors with his hands cuffed behind his back.

“I need to see Sheriff Peterkin, please.” JJ says politely.

The older woman looked JJ up and down. “Do you have an appointment?”

“It’s the fucking police station. Since when do you have to make appointments? You assume people are just gonna know when an emergency is going to happen?”

“Look kid -“

“JJ.” JJ turned and relief washed over him when he saw Sheriff Peterkin in the hallway looking at him confused but also concerned.

“I need your help.” JJ admitted. He hated cops. Probably always will. But he trusted Sheriff Peterkin. She’s always tried to help John B through his DCS struggles. She actually cared about what he wanted and never took the easy way out just to make her work load lighter. She remembered why she took the oath every day.

Peterkin never really liked the Maybank kid in particular, but she was able to see something in him pretty much every cop couldn’t. She saw the loyalty and the determination his friends saw. She could tell he didn’t want to grow up to be like his father.

She led him into her office and shut the door behind them for privacy. She gestured towards the seat in front of her desk and asked him to explain what was going on.

JJ’s mouth moved a hundred miles per minute. He told her how your mother didn’t know you would sneak out to see your dad despite the custody agreement. He mentioned the bills he made you pay and the bruises he would leave you despite your efforts to help him. He teared up when he mentioned his own dad - and how his father and your father had the same dealer. How your dad would make you go inside Barry’s home and use you like a a community bank account. He even told her about the gun Barry threatened to use on your dad right in front of you.

“Why are you tell me all of this?” Peterkin says slowly. She studied the boy in front of her who was slowly falling apart and felt sympathetic for the young blonde. It didn’t take a genius to know why JJ was telling her this.

“Because...y/n... she has a heart of gold,” JJ sniffled. “She won’t leave her dad behind to be homeless or killed because that man is her blood. It doesn’t matter if he beats her black and blue. She always goes back because she thinks she owes him.” He sighs. “I want him gone. I don’t care what you do to him. Arrest him, kill him. I don’t really care. Although the second choice sounds more strategic -“

“JJ -“

“And I don’t want her getting in any sort of legal trouble because it’s not her fault. She doesn’t do drugs or deal them or anything like that. She just stands there and watches her dad blow his money on coke and who knows what else. And her mom? Her mom has no clue what’s going on but it’s not her fault. Y/n is really good at hiding her pain. She forces a smile every day and -“ JJ’s breath hitched in his throat when he thought about how you faked your happiness every single day and how a girl like you should never feel as worthless as you do. “Her mom’s a good mom. And I don’t want people blaming her or taking Y/n away from her because they think she can’t control her -“

“Hey, look at me,” Peterkin says softly. She wanted to reach over the desk and squeeze his hand to comfort him. “I understand.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I remember having to visit their home when Mrs. Y/L/N was still married to him. Y/N mother’s a good woman. I wouldn’t let anyone come between them.”

“What about her dad? I tried convincing her to never see him again but she won’t do it. She’s afraid Barry will kill him.”

“I can’t bust into Barry’s home without probable cause -“

JJ stood up. “That’s bullshit! You know -“

“Without probable cause or evidence that proves Barry is holding drugs or being violent, I can’t barge into that home.”

“That’s -“

“Here,” Peterkin writes her number down on a post it note and hands it to JJ. “Without probable cause, I can’t arrest Barry and the men who work or buy from him.” She stared at JJ, hoping the boy will understand her hidden message. She points at the post it in JJ’s hands. “Now. If you need anything from me. Call that number and I will find you.”

JJ looked down at the number and slowly nodded his head, understanding what he would have to do.

“And JJ -“ the blonde turned. “Be aware of where your father is when you call me. I dont want you ending up in the same situation as your friend John B if that’s not where you want to be.”

JJ nodded. “Thank you Sheriff Peterkin.”

Peterkin nodded and walked him out of the station.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Three days later, JJ met his friends at the Wreck for lunch. He slowed his pace when he noticed the seat next to Pope wasn’t occupied and neither was the one next to Kie. 

“Where’s Y/N?” He asked them.

Kie looked at the others with furrowed brows. They all got the same text. The one where Y/N apologetically told them that something came up and wouldn’t be able to hang out today. They thought JJ would have known that. 

“She said she couldn’t make it,” Kie says. “We thought you knew.”

“Did she say why?” 

Pope shrugged. “Just that something came up.”

JJ ripped his phone out of his back pocket and scrolled through his messages with you. You didn’t text him - you didn’t even answer his good morning text. He knew what this meant. You didn’t like to lie, so you’re way of dodging questions you didn’t want to answer honestly is to make sure no one can ask you them. By avoiding them all together. JJ knew that. It made sense to him. 

“JJ, what’s going on?” John B asked his friends, recognizing the look on his best friend’s face. He was furious but also anxious. His leg hasn’t stopped bouncing up and down since he asked where you were. 

JJ clicked on the app that showed your location and saw you were deep into the south side of the Cut. He recognized the area of his father’s drug dealer. 

“We gotta go,” JJ stood up and motioned for his friends to follow. “Now. JB, you bring the Twinkie?”

“Yeah, but...” John B stuttered as he grabbed his stuff off the table. “What’s going on?”

“We're saving my girl from that douche bag she calls a father,” JJ says. “For good.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

John B pulled the Twinkie to the curb outside of Barry’s house, making sure to use the trees to hide his vehicle. The Pogues immediately recognized your car parked in Barry’s driveway. Confusion bubbled through their heads, but rage ignited in JJ’s.

“Why is she here?” Kie asked. 

JJ didn’t answer. He picked up his phone and clicked on Peterkin’s name. “It’s JJ.” The Pogues paused as they listened to JJ to talk to the Sheriff. “I -” He stopped when the sound of a gun shot being fired silenced all of them into panic. 

“JJ -” Peterkin called for him but JJ didn’t answer. He dropped the phone so fast and sprinted out of the van, towards the house. He didn’t care what kind of danger he was running into. He just knew he had to get you out of it. 

JJ ignored the calls from his best friends behind him as he ripped open the screen door. He stopped, looking left, right, up, down - anywhere for you.

He heard the commotion coming from Barry’s living room along with shouting and glass smashing. The first person he saw was Barry holding a gun up to the ceiling, pointed at the hole he left above him only seconds ago. He was glaring in the direction of you and your father, barely taking notice of the new kid in his home. Luke Maybank was the first to notice his son and narrowed his eyes in his direction. JJ gulped nervously - he didn’t know if it was because he was afraid of the guy with the gun or his dad. But what he feared the most was you not being okay.

Your eyes grew wide with fear when you saw the new face. You looked between JJ and Barry nervously, not knowing how Barry would react to the new member in his house. He was already pissed as it is, threatening to shoot you in front of your dad because neither of you could fork over the money your dad owed Barry. He was getting tired of the same old bullshit, and Rafe didn’t help. He stood silently in the corner with his fingers racked through his hair.

“Who the fuck are you?” Barry pointed the gun at JJ when he finally noticed him. 

“Hey, hey, hey, he’s good!” Luke came closer to Barry and said, “That’s my son.”

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Barry asked him. 

Luke looked past Barry at JJ for an answer he couldn’t give him. JJ glanced from Barry, to his dad, to you and gulped again as he tried to come up with answer. That’s when you understood what was going on. He was following you. 

You didn’t know if you should be mad or not. All you could focus on was the gun in Barry’s hand that’s still pointed in JJ’s direction. 

“Look, kid,” Your dad said to Barry, gaining his attention all over again. “I’ll make it up to you.” He put his hand on your shoulder and shoved you slightly forward. “You want to have her for the night? She’s all yours.”

Your head snapped in your father’s direction with your mouth open agape. Did your dad seriously just try to pimp you out? You felt betrayed, vile, used, and worthless. This isn’t something you do when you love your kid.

JJ seethed and clenched his hands in fists, ready to rock the shit out of your dad. “You son of a bitch -”

Luke, however, caught him in time, holding him by the arm and pulling him away from your dad. JJ tried fighting him off to get to your dad or you - to get you out of this entire home. He saw the scared look on your face and it made him want to set the entire house on fire. He’d do anything to protect you - to keep you safe. And right now, he thought he was failing. 

Then, red and blue lights flashed through the open windows, followed by loud sirens. Barry crossed the room to stand next to you and your father and looked out the window. When he saw the cops, he immediately swiveled around to point his gun at your boyfriend. 

“You called the fucking cops?” Barry sneered. 

“Stop!” You yelled to try and get Barry’s attention and away from JJ. 

You dad tried to use Barry’s distraction to his advantage and snuck up behind him to try and reach for the gun. Barry spun around and tried pulling his wrist away from your dad’s grip. As they fought for the gun and an upper hand, you ran across the room for JJ who immediately wrapped his arms around your waist. He kissed the top of your head and motioned for the front door, mumbling about leaving.

You nodded and grasped his hand in yours. When he turned to lead you out of there, another shot rang out and you flinched closer to JJ as he ducked and pulled your head down with his arms and shields your body with his. 

You heard a thump and the floor vibrated under your feet. 

“Shit -”

“Fuck -”

“What did you do that for -”

“Jerry? Hey! Jerry!”

Everything kind of moved in slow motion after that. You turned around to see what had happened and that’s when you saw your dad laying on the floor with a puddle of blood growing around his body. Your feet moved faster than your brain did to get to your dad. 

JJ tried reaching for you but you swiveled out of his grip and dropped to your knees in front of your dad’s body. His eyes were closed and his mouth open. You placed your hands on top of the wound in his stomach to get it to stop bleeding. You cried. You didn’t know why you were crying but you did. Hard and heavy, barely able to get your own breaths in. You didn’t pay attention to Rafe fleeing from the backyard, or Barry being stopped by the cops who stormed into the house with guns raised. You barely felt JJ place his hands on your shoulders to try and coax you up. All you saw and could feel was your dad’s dead body and his blood on your hands. 

“Honey,” You felt another set of hands touch your back as they knelt down next to you. You didn’t look at her but recognized the familiar voice. “He’s gone. It’s over.”

“No -” You voice was barely above a whisper. 

“I’m sorry. Let’s get you cleaned up. Okay?” 

Sheriff Peterkin nodded at JJ to help you up and lead you out of the house. He was  finally able to pull you up from your knees and placed a comforting hand on your lower back. 

Your friends watched from the barricade the police set up around the house. When they saw you, all of them either started to panic or cry. They thought your were hurt until JJ nodded at them to tell them you were okay. But they could see in your face you were anything but okay.

Another cop lead you to the back of an ambulance. You don’t even look at Luke being handcuffed next to Barry or Rafe disappearing in the trees. All you can think about is your dad. 

The EMT did a quick check up on you after realizing the blood on your hands was in fact not yours. Then they took a quick look at JJ and asked if there was someone they could call for you.

“My mom -” You whispered. 

The EMT nodded. “Do you have a number?”

You told the EMT her number and waited patiently as she walked away to call her. When the two of you were alone, JJ turned to look at you and reached out for your hands and held them in his lap. He rubbed his thumb up and down over the back of your hand and waited for you to say something. He didn’t know if any words could make this right. He didn’t know how to comfort you after you just witnessed your dad died. It didn’t matter if you hated him or not. You literally watched him take his last breath. Your own flesh and blood. That shit’s traumatizing. 

“I’m sorry,” JJ said when he realized you were not going to say anything. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I just - I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“This is my fault.”

“No,” JJ shook his head. “No. It’s not your fault. It’s Barry’s. He was the one with the gun -”

“I should’ve walked away. From my dad. From all of this.” A single tear rolled down your cheek. “I enabled him. I allowed it to get this far.”

“You were doing what you thought was best for your dad.”

“I got him killed -”

“He did this to himself, Y/N. You were more than the perfect daughter. You literally couldn't be more perfect if you tried.” JJ wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer into his side and kissed the top of your head. “He didn’t deserve you. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this.”

You cried into his shoulder, letting the sobs wrack through your body and your heart tear into millions of pieces. JJ held you tightly against him and whispered comforting words in your ears. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

JJ stood by you through your grieving process - through the good and the bad. He’s took your harsh words with a grain a salt when he noticed you were just trying to pick a fight, he held you when you cried into your pillow in the middle of the night, he was by your side for a hand to hold when you told your mother what happened and why you were at Barrys for the millionth time, and he was there to tell you he will always be there for you when you think he’s just going to up and leave like your dad did.

After your dad’s funeral, you stood in front of his tombstone with a solemn expression. Your dad was a piece of shit and didn’t deserve your love, money, and attention. You wished you could go back and time and never give it to him. At least that way you wouldn’t feel all these complicated emotions that made no sense. Love, hate, grief, relief. You didn’t know how to feel. 

Coming up behind you was JJ. He weaved his fingers with yours and kissed your temple. You couldn’t believe there was ever a day where JJ Maybank was your enemy. You didn’t think you’d be able to get through this without him.

“JJ,” You said and looked up at him. “Thank you.”

JJ nodded. “I love you.” He would never admit this, but he was glad you dad was dead. Because now he knew you were safe. 

“I love you more.”

JJ shook his head. “Impossible.”

Tag List: @allycat449-blog​ @zarahsloves​ @redknight9​

[rataltouille]

FORCE MAJEURE: NOVEL INTRO

[this is my original work, do not use / repurpose / plagiarise in any form]

GENRE: literary fiction.

SETTING: south india, early 2010s.

POV & TENSE: dual pov; present tense + third person limited.

STAGE: prepping for camp nano [my current goal for camp is 10k!]

THEMES + AESTHETICS: fatalism, chance and luck, the duality of everything, corruption, chaos vs order, manipulation, power, sacrifice, loneliness, free will, love vs obsession. the sound of waves crashing against rocks, sitting in an empty house and watching a watery dawn, saltwater seeping into your pores as you swim deeper and deeper underwater; driving through neon cities under a full moon, laughter mixing with the bright sounds of people, the buzz of contact in a room full of strangers.

CONTENT WARNINGS: cults and religious trauma, implications + discussions of emotional abuse, terrible parents, manipulation, gaslighting. [note: this wip is very new so more content warnings may be added as i go]

SUMMARY:

when twins ananya and naveen get separated while escaping their home, they find themselves in completely different places—one stumbling onto a hidden commune by the beach, the other pulled into a group of thieves in the city. this story is a dark coming-of-age where the twins must confront their obsessions with things they can’t control and what they’re willing to do to belong.

aka “i know everything happens for a reason but what the fuck”

CHARACTERS:

omg my children <3 [all picrew credits to @/sagravi’s picrew!]

ANANYA [pronounced as: uh-nun-yah]

she/they [she’s very non-binary but doesn't have the term for it in the book? so in my head she uses she/they but in the book uses she/her]

looks like she can kill you, will instead make you fall in love and slowly [and unknowingly] break your heart <3

“have you ever seen a woman so beautiful you started crying?”

unintentionally funny. says something mean and people will laugh not realising she actually meant it

carries around a lot of anger about the multiple ways in which people have wronged her and now and then just goes feral [as she should, really]

aroace and has a very longterm, very on screen crisis about it. what i learnt from this is that i cannot write an uplifting aroace story and tbh i don't know what that says about me as someone who’s also aroace.

very emotionally attached to her parents :) very emotionally detached from people in general :) suffering™

does not have a good time

NAVEEN [pronounced as: nuh-veen]

he/him [also very non-binary]

looks baby, is actually very sad

“i do not have a fake social media personality. i am genuinely this mentally ill in real life”

unintentionally unfunny. he cries himself to sleep at night because his puns weren’t well received [me too honestly]

very queer!! he’s mspec but doesn’t label himself, and honestly king <3 he also gets caught in a bisexual love triangle. the way i was anti-love triangles until this guy appeared🧍

was always the twin who was idolised and seen as the family’s future which not only put a lot of pressure on him but also strained his relationship with ananya in unexpected ways which is just :(

does not have a good time

literally i fell in love with the twins so quickly; they are so cool and are most definitely my genvy. their relationship is very central to the story despite them being separated for the most of it [if the story plays out that way]. i’m excited to actually start drafting to learn more about them + their dynamic!!

SO HOW’D THIS HAPPEN?

so a few days ago my brain said “new fun ya contemporary concept about queer twins in high school” and then within five minutes of its existence my brain also said “contemporary ya my ass it’s now adult litfic deal with it” and at this point i’m just like. okay.

this book is my second novel and also my *bangs posts and pans* camp nano wip! [please as if i haven't mentioned this seventy times already] coincidentally my academic year + finals also end on the first of april so this is such a perfect time to start a new project!!

ALSO i’m jumping on the trend of making a temporary taglist for weekly updates like all the cool, sexy writeblrs who are doing it [read as: atlas fam] so!! let me know [dm/ask/reply/mention in reblog] if you want to be added to the camp nano taglist!! if you want to keep up with the wip after camp, you can ask to be added to my general taglist. heads up that i won't be tagging my general taglist for the weekly updates!!

everything about this project is tagged as force majeure and the writing updates as force majeure update. also here’s the link to the very very in-progress playlist. you can send me an ask / message me if you’d like to be added to my taglist or have any questions about the project. and that’s about it for now!!