#is this silly. yes. do I wanna read something like this. double yes

[bluerosefox]

The MANY Bloodlines of Constantine

Those Constantine is Danny's dad and sold his kid soul because he thought he'd actually never have one and Danny is now the Ghost King so his soul claims are invalid AUs but learns he's not Constantine only kid (after a while Constantine honestly 100% thought he'd never have kids and never bothered with a 1st born clause when making deals, maybe some annoyed deity or powerful magic user made Constantine think he can't have kids anymore just to get back at the conman) and now doing everything in his Kingly power to save his half-siblings (can be other teens from other shows or movies or cartoons etc etc) because Danny is the oldest of them and really really wants to punch his biodad for making such a huge mess he has to deal with but Danny does get to meet and protect his younger Half-siblings.

Then comes the day he's celebrating one of his half-sibs birthday with all the others when he's suddenly summoned out of the blue and meets not just the Justice League but his, and his half-sibs, no good soul selling biodad.

Hello rightly placed aggression.... Once he takes care of that powerful evil spirit that's attacking earth first of course.

[luveline]

idk if this is interesting enough for a prompt, but stripper! reader (w/ either aaron or spencer, your choice :) ) where they get worried because they see her with large bruise on her side but really she just got it from a hard fall practicing a pole trick lol

ty for requesting! I thought it was more than interesting my love, 1.1k

cw past implied domestic/workplace violence

"Can I make a cup of tea or something?" 

Spencer lifts his chin before his gaze, hanging onto the line he's reading until he's finished somewhere manageable. Finally looking up, he says, "Sorry, what?" 

"Can I make some tea? Do you have anything like that? Or coffee?" you ask. 

He almost slips standing up. "I'll make you tea." 

"No, I can make it, you're reading. I just wanted to ask before I went rooting through your stuff." 

Spencer's smile is shiny, pretty, all manner of things. It says Don't be silly. "You don't have to ask, help yourself." He nudges you in your bad side. "Of course you can have tea. I'll make it." 

You wince at his contact but follow him into the kitchen without complaining. You're sick of your own narrative —yes, you're a stripper, yes, it's hard work, and you know these things but you're tired of having it be the constant identifier of your life. You really wish work stayed at work, but the half metre contusion spread up your ribs like a formidable stain won't go away. You want something warm to wash down a few painkillers and hopefully you'll fall asleep on his couch. Spencer doesn't make you go home when it gets late and you hate asking him if you can stay. Easier to knock out on his couch and have him throw a blanket over you. 

His mind must have drifted to the same place. "Did you wanna stay the night? It's getting kind of late." He opens the kitchen cabinet above the toaster oven for two mugs, and the cabinet below the sink for his stove top kettle. He peeks at you from over his shoulder when you fail to answer. "Or I can drive you home?" 

"I'll stay. Better chance of survival." 

He does that adorable nose-wrinkled frown. "I'm not a bad driver." 

"Do you have any of my cookies left?" 

You wouldn't usually ask, but you paid for them last time you came over, so you figure it's okay. 

"Sure, they're in the cabinet by the bread bin," he says, moving to the sink to fill the kettle with tap water. His face flicks between you and the task at hand. 

You open the cabinet above the bread bin, double doors creaking on their hinges. Your cookies are in a tupperware container on the very top shelf at the back. He'd probably tell you something about mould or weevils if you asked why they're up out of reach, but you're more focused on getting a sweet treat than anything. You'll ask later. You can listen to him talking until you fall asleep. 

"What is that?" 

"What's what?" you ask, though any further questioning is interrupted by your yelp, a cold hand touching your naked stomach as you set back down on your heels. 

"What happened?" Spencer asks, your shirt held by his pinky finger as his thumb moves over the bruise. It's like he's hoping it's make up to be rubbed away, and he's horrified when it stays undisturbed by his gentle touch. "Who did this? I swear, I'll–" 

"Your hands are cold," you interrupt, taking his hand in yours, peeling it off of your stomach. "And it's kind of tender, Spence." 

"What happened?" 

His tone leaves no room for jogging around. You're not reluctant to tell him for whatever reason he might assume… You and Spencer used to live very close to one another, and you'd see him at the local grocery store, a small place, without saying much. He'd smile at you. Occasionally say hi. Until one day your eye was swollen shut from the force of a cruel hand and he asked if there was anything he could do. So Spencer knows intimately how people have managed to hurt you, and he worries because it's his nature to worry. 

You'll have to tell him what happened, even if it's embarrassing, in order to wipe the concern off of his delicate features. He's angry and scared and sorry, and he has no reason to be any of those things. 

"I– okay, I wanted to practise this twist thing that Stassia showed me," you begin, meeting his eyes with bashful reproach, "you don't have to be so worried. I was practising, or trying to, but it gets cold in the private room and I was shivering and my hands were aching, so I thought I could put on my sweatpants and try again but, you know, you need the–" 

"Friction," he interrupts, looking down at your bruise with a rather ironic smile. "You fell off of the pole?" 

"Yes, and you don't have to sound so happy about it." 

"I'm not," he says, rubbing at the sore fat of your hip apologetically. "I'm glad it wasn't, you know, what I thought it was, but– I mean– how hard did you fall?" 

"I thought I broke my ribs." 

He laughs. It's as soft as his touch. "I bet you did…" 

"Any more touching and I'll think you want to tip me." 

Spencer laughs and winces simultaneously, dropping your shirt back into place and neatening the hem "Right, sorry." He steps back half a step before stepping forward again, his arms quick to wrap around you in a sweeping but brief hug. "Thanks for telling me." 

"Super sarcastic, Dr. Reid." 

He peels away from you to light the stove unsuccessfully. Your side is throbbing at being remembered, your head with embarrassment, and that cup of tea just isn't coming quick enough. The phantom of his fingerprints linger.

You follow Spencer to the stove and push your hip into his, pushing the stove top knob in with the sparker until it catches. 

"Don't make a joke about my hands." 

"I wasn't going to," he says earnestly. The back of his knuckles touch your elbow. "You could tell me the next time you do something like that. You should. I want to know if you have a bruise the size of a watermelon." 

"If I told you every time something was wrong with me we'd always be talking about what's wrong with me," you say, though you press your cheek to his shoulder appreciatively. 

"Good," he says simply. 

"Good," you repeat, surprised. 

You stay like that until the kettle whines, your cheek on his shoulder. Oddly, it's as though you've taken a weight off.

Spencer gives you the princess treatment for the rest of the night, as though helping him make dinner or washing the dishes will stop your bruise from healing. He even pops out to the store for a tube of arnica. It's, shamefully, one of the best days of your entire year, easily making the top ten, as most days with Spencer tend to do. 

[bug-bites]

one of my fav things to read/write is a f!reader x Simon "Ghost" Riley, where the reader is almost exactly like ghost. I'm talking full black mask, (maybe legally dead) few words, silent, callsign generally spooky like Reaper or Phantom, and I was wondering if you would wanna do that?

Usually I have reader as a childhood friend or adopted sibling of Roach, which is why roach is so comfortable around ghost. He's just used to it. If it's pure fluff or platonic that's completely fine, and if you don't wanna do that it's also fine!! I just thought I might as well shoot my shot :)

Your an amazing writer, have an awesome day <3

seeing double

cw: canon-typical violence, breif (pun intended) mention of ghost having skeleton boxers (nothing like explicit though i dont even know if this needs to be mentioned tbh but better safe than sorry), ghost gets shot womp womp, angst w/ a happy ending, so many military inaccuracies, barely proofread :P

pairing: platonic!simon 'ghost' riley x f!reader, gary 'roach' sanderson & reader

characters: simon 'ghost' riley, gary 'roach' sanderson (price, gaz and soap mentioned v briefly!)

authors note: omg you are so sweet thank you so much!! sorry this took so long i've been so busy with things, i hope you don't mind that i got a bit silly with this one and basically wrote a fic in jot notes 😭 (ALSO ROACH MENTION!! I LOVE MY BBYG THANK YOU ANON <3)

when you first met ghost he genuinely thought this was a joke. the balaclava, the whole death motif, your callsign being phantom which is literally synonymous with ghost, even your attitude was so eerily similar to him. it was like looking in a mirror

it didn't help when he tilted his head you mirrored your actions

i think he wouldn't gravitate immediately to you, it's not that he didn't like you he just felt a bit odd with how similar you two were, in all honesty he was probably slightly unnerved by you

soap and gaz definitely crack jokes about you being the second coming of ghost or something dumb like that

whenever anyone is referring to you and ghost and phantom it was always "the ghosts" or "ghost and girl ghost" which pissed you OFF

roach cant count all the times you have ranted to him about how everyone treats ghost like he came up with your whole aesthetic and you copied him when you have been doing this for YEARS before you even met ghost!

"and everyone acts like he invented skeletons and being legally dead! how self centered do you have to be to act like you invented skeleton iconography?! THEYRE SKELETONS. THATS LIKE BASIC HUMAN ANATOMY. and its always men taking the credit- god its so stupid! i did shit this first and how do i know that he isn't copying me huh?? did we ever think of that?? and ghost is such a basic ass fucking name like really. ghost? bet the only reason he wears that mask is to cover up his casper sized forehead."

roach knows that you're annoyed and you probably aren't trying to be super mean- maybe you don't even think ghosts forehead is casper sized! but hey, he isn't trying to argue while you look like you're about to rip someone's head off

instead he opts for calmly signing words of comfort lest you tear ghosts head off (with a few minor corrections)

"yes roach i know phantoms are pretty much the same as ghosts but that's not the point. you're basically my brother. you have to be on my side. that's how it works."

its good you and roach get along with each other. however, since you are just so similar with someone whos name starts with s and ends with imon "ghost" riley he becomes friends with roach quite easily and rants to him too

"she thinks shes so fookin crea'ive but you know wha? she isnt. bet ive been in SAS longer than her. wheres 'er skull tattoo at?? cause i got a whole sleeve done almost a decade ago! she isnt the first to come up wi' this. see, i get youre friends wi' 'er but truth is she di'nt come up wi' all o' this 'erself and she isn't half as dedicated as me. i even got skeleton boxers! she got those??- wait no dont answer tha' i dont wan' tha' image in my head."

for the first month or two whenever you see each other its clear you two do not get along.

roach tried to crack a joke but if anything it just made you hate ghost more

"hey, phantom. what's got two legs and bleeds?" "half a dog." you and ghost respond in unison

the rest of the day you dont even acknowledge each other. price makes a joke about how "you both are acting like you killed someone" which you mutter a small "oh im going to that's for sure" under your breath

safe to say you had a long rant to roach about how now not only is he stealing your whole persona, he's taking your jokes now too

you think roach would be torn between choosing sides but no this man loves every second of it. its so petty- so stupid he just needs to see how long you two idiots will keep butting heads

you mention how you were planning on getting a red mask? he's going up to ghost being like "hey, ghost did i ever tell you red is totally your colour? you know what actually? you should get a red mask!"

you both walk into the next briefing with your new masks and you couldn't be more pissed

to make matters worse you both are teamed up for the next mission. something about stopping a major arms dealer but ghost is the one getting his hands dirty. all you need to do is get into security, guide him through the complex enough for him to grab intel and leave

its simple. you've done it a billion times before, same with ghost. the first half goes fine. you both get in, he grabs the intel and is ready to head out, both of you speaking only when necessary.

minor issue- actually major issue, getting out wasn't as smooth. somehow ghost ended up shot right as he's notifying you that he's almost out. you hear the gunshot ring out, a grunt and scuffling.

"phantom to ghost. how copy."

your voice rings out, an eerie silence following after

"ghost. how copy."

you repeat again, this time earning a response

"m' alive. shot in the leg. bullet went clean through, makin a torniquet as we speak" he grunts back. you have never been happier to hear his stupid manchester accent "keep it that way."

if past you knew those four words directed at ghost would come out of your mouth, you're pretty sure you would've stolen a tank and driven it off a cliff immediately with ghost in it too probably

but now is not the time hotwiring a tank and locating a cliff would take too long anyways, you guide him out, occasionally telling him some stupid fun fact to make sure he's still there or just to keep him alert

"did you know that jellyfish have one hole for their mouth and asshole?" "these get more concerning the more you tell me." "most koalas have chlamydia." "alrigh', 'nuff of that. fun facts are s'pposed to be fun, you know that right?" "learning is fun."

this earns a chuckle from him which he quickly covers up with a cough

he makes it out alive, busted up that's for sure but alive nonetheless

you hook his arm over your shoulder, talking about everything and anything to keep him conscious. he's going to listen anyways so might as well make the most of it

"you're not as bad as i thought you'd be, 'specially for a copy cat." he says after you tell him yet another bizarre animal fact "i got a red mask first by the way" "piss off. this is why i don't compliment you" he rolls his eyes, for once not out of annoyance "i wear it better anyways." "sure, sure. believe what you want, but just know that i'm the cooler one." "you also are shit at making tourniquets" "so you finally admit that i'm cooler." no amount of eyerolling or snappy comebacks can hide your grin at this point. you silently thank your past self for choosing to wear a mask all the time "you're quite bold for someone who got shot in the leg"

once you two get back, practically everyone is surprised how all the deadly glares and colorful insults muttered under heavy sighs between you two have now been replaced with playful banter and empty threats with no murderous intent behind them

price heard you laughing with ghost followed up with you telling ghost "they will never find your body" which did scare the shit out of him but it made ghost laugh so hard he nearly pissed himself

price made sure to check that ghost was in fact alive for the next few days, just to make sure you were joking

when asked about it both of you just shrug and reply "trauma bonding."

roach, although disappointed with the absence of drama is glad to see two of the most special people in his life getting along bros just sad he cant be an instigator anymore

and as soon as ghost comes back from leave, he's got double the scary dog privileges he originally had

[familyvideostevie]

october eleventh

day eleven: eddie munson you and eddie go to the harvest festival | fluff and first date vibes! | 1k

Eddie Munson asks you to the harvest festival and you panic a little bit. But you say yes, of course. Why wouldn’t you?

He’s kind of a friend through Robin and if she likes him you know he’s a good guy. You like how he laughs and how he never seems to take things too seriously but he still cares about his friends. You like his ripped jeans and his chain and his metal wardrobe even if it’s not what you wear or listen to. You think he’s funny and he tells you how pretty you look and he seemed just a little nervous to ask you which made him even more endearing.

It’s silly that anyone thinks he’s anything other than wonderful.

Plus, you’ve never actually been to the harvest festival even though you love fall. So, you’re double excited.

With your work schedule and Eddie’s commitments it makes sense for you to meet there. His van is a bit of a hazard so you’re perfectly okay driving yourself there, even if you had a dream last night about making out in his backseat.

You get there a few minutes later than you’d hoped and spot Eddie at the entrance in a heated discussion with a high schooler you know to be Dustin Henderson. The latter is gesturing wildly and Eddie looks like he’s going to tear his hair out. You call his name and he turns, grinning once he spots you.

He shoves Dustin’s hat further down on his head and the kid laughs and heads into the festival, flipping Eddie the middle finger. Eddie shakes his head but turns towards you and meets you halfway.

“Hi,” he says, breathless.

“Hello,” you say. “Did I catch you bullying a child?”

“He deserves it.” Eddie grins, gaze traveling from your head to your toes and back again. “You look nice.”

You look at your own outfit and smile because you agree. “Thank you,” you say. “So do you.”

He’s wearing his usual getup but it almost looks like he brushed his hair and is that…cologne? A little strong but that’s okay.

“Wanna do this thing?” he asks, holding out a ring-clad hand.

“Sure do.” Your joined hands hang between you as he pulls leads you under the arch and onto the grounds.

“Thanks for coming,” he says, squeezing your hand. One of the things you like about Eddie is his confidence but also his seemingly random bouts of nerves. It makes your stomach swoop in the best way to know that you’re one of the things that makes him nervous.

“Thanks for asking me,” you say. You decide to throw him a bone “I’ve been wanting to go on a date with you for ages.”

“Really?” He turns to look at you and looks genuinely surprised. “Could’ve asked me!”

You laugh and knock your shoulders together. “That would be too easy, Munson.”

The festival is like a country fair but a little smaller. There are vegetable and animal judging contests, a pie eating competition, and plenty of games. Pumpkin carving tables dot the fair grounds and booths from local farms sell honey and candles and produce. Ring toss and a wack-a-mole game have long lines, people of all ages and plenty of couples excited to give everything a try.

“What do you want to do?” he asks you. The wind whips down the path and you press a little closer to him.

“There are so many things,” you say, slightly overwhelmed. “We have to get cider doughnuts, right?” He nods. “And maybe a game?”

“Absolutely. We have to crush some kids.”

“And…” You look around before spotting something that makes you yelp with excitement. “Is that bobbing for apples?”

There are three huge barrels of water and they are full of apples. There is a round going on and you drag Eddie over.

“You want to do this?” he asks. You beam at him.

“Hell yeah I do. I was great at this when I was a kid.” You read the board at the sign-up table and gasp. “The prize for the most is 50 dollars!”

“Hell of a prize,” he says, impressed.

“I’m gonna do it,” you say. Eddie laughs. “Atta girl,” he says. You make sure all of your hair is out of the way and Eddie takes your bag and jacket so you don’t get water on them. A lady ushers you to one side of one of the barrels and you look around at the competition. Mostly all high schoolers, and one guy with a huge beard.

“Kill ‘em dead, sweetheart!” Eddie shouts from behind you.

The horn goes off and the music starts and you bob like your life depends on it. It occurs to you halfway through that this probably isn’t a cute thing to do on your first date but you want to win. If you do, you’ll buy Eddie some funnel cake for being a good sport about it. Are you a little too competitive for a small-town harvest festival? Maybe, but whatever.

You hear Eddie chanting your name behind you and you bob and bob and bob and you know you’re all wet but you don’t stop. The music finally cuts out and you stand, water dripping down your chin and into your collar. You wipe your eyes and find Eddie grinning and waiting behind you.

“You crushed it!” he whoops.

“Really?” Your pile of apples is pretty big, truth be told.

“Yeah,” he says, before stepping forward and resting a hand on your hip. You can see some light freckles on his nose this close. “And it was hot.”

That makes your stomach do something funny. Maybe Eddie Munson makes you a little nervous. The good kind,

He leans in like he’s going to kiss you but you put your hand on his chest.

“Eddie, my face is all wet.”

His expression says he very much does not care about that but he leans away to grab a towel anyway. He gently dries your cheeks, your forehead, your chin. Your hairline is a little damp but you don’t care much. You’ll have to come back at the end of the festival to see if you got the most apples but right now you’re focused on how Eddie is tossing the towel over his shoulder and leaning back in and —

You laugh against his lips and wrap your arms around his neck as he kisses you.

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here! promptober masterlist, find all fics under #fvspromptober23

[ovaryacted]

Felt honestly. liking things as a joke is a great way to develop said kink or whatever it is, once a guy called me momma, I think, not sure if he was just joking but I was like yes please 😃 he was cool to talk to then one day I asked something random and pretty stupid, silly stupid not breaking human rights stupid, and he never answered and I was like ok got it

Dropping some Nic lore for y’all today.

I’m not even trying to be funny right now, most of my kinks all started as jokes. Like I have a few that I’ve had for as long as I started getting sexually active and others I’ve always been curious about from reading smut/fics at a young age (I know we all did it, sue me) and liked them more when I practiced them.

But I have a lot of them, especially the taboo ones, that started as jokes and I actually ended up having them. My mommy kink started out exactly like this, because I actually hate being called momma/mami in general (I think it’s corny especially coming from the wrong person). But one time, my ex called me mommy in bed by accident and it just kinda clicked for a while, but I didn’t get to explore it more cause he’s a fucking dickhead womp womp.

I actually was initially talking to a guy once who claims he was a switch and liked being called daddy, but the second I said I wanted to be called mommy suddenly it’s “no that’s weird I don’t wanna do that”. Double standards much?? Like get out of my face with that shit boy. I’d do anything to have a proper submissive man that is willing to do more than just say mommy cause I be deadass about the whole dom/sub lifestyle, but nobody wants to be as real as me. 💔

I’m sorry that man just went ghost boo, his loss cause he’ll never know the pleasure behind exploring a mommy kink fr. HES A LEWSER! 😡🍅

[plaindangan]

Celeste mukuro and kyoko decide to play against makoto poker to test is luck… except that thanks to junko shenanigans the more they loose the more they transform into bimbos!

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not read!

"So...you want a drug that turns people into bimbos?"

"Like, yeah! Anymore lame ass questions?! I even paid you double for it what's the problem?!"

"I mean...usually you just steal from me, so I'm not really used t-!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'll probably steal from you again tomorrow...but this is something to cover the headache after today~ Puhuhuhuhu~"

"H-headache?"

"Gawd, do you just parrot everything I say, make with the dumb bitch drink making and get to it!!" Squeaking Seiko rushed to gather her materials, all while Junko was grinning deviously.

Why let three of her friends and her flatty sister get all the fun to themselves?~

"Um...g-guys? You sure you want to continue?" Makoto asked tentatively. He was more than just a little taken aback by the 'changes' the girls had. He had been on a lucky streak and won five games in a row. But with each win he had begun to see the girls differently.

"Liiiike, what do you mean, Makoto~" Mukuro said in a valley girl esque tone similar to Junko. For Mukuro, arguably the flattest of the lot, her change was the most apparent. She had jumped from A-cup to a sizable pair of double D's that had essentially mimicking Akane's look. Her formerly toned thighs and hips turned pleasantly plump. Hairwise, it grew exponentially long to the point it reached down to even her legs. Or would have if she hadn't put it up into twintails eerily similar to Junko. She was currently looking at Makoto's...lap, with a predatory look in her eyes.

"I con...con...cocksure~ Teeheehee, up, what Muku is sayiiing~" a brainless giggle and reply came Celeste. At one point she was rather 'upset' over losing so much. But now? A complete 180 had occurred. In its place were plump lips that were smiling ear to ear and covered in a thick, strawberry flavored, lipstick. Body wise, like Mukuro were small breasts ballooned greatly into pale knockers anyone would lose a bet for and, with how she was bending over their table all lustfully, Makoto can clearly see just how big her ass had become. Easily ripping away her lacey black panties to have a big, phat, target out. Clapping ever so innocently.

"Yeah, we're so totally a-okay~ You can breast, looool, sorry~ Rest easy~ But...if you can't do that...maybe some inve...inbustigating could do you some good?~" Kyoko offered, having finished applied black lipstick onto her lips now. It was rather jarring to see such an coolheaded girl turn into an openly flirty type. She had removed not only her jacket, but even her shirt to show off more of her violet bra (which was already half-showing her tits anyway). As for her skirt, that was also gone to, leaving her in the matching see-through panties that were about half-way into being ditched as well.

"W-why did you take off your clothes?" Makoto stammered out, but his eyes couldn't pry away from the sight of such a luscious body.

"Silly-billy~ Everyone knows the best poker is strip poker~" Both Mukuro and Celeste let out an 'ooh' at such a revelation and quickly began to follow Kyoko's lead.

"W-w-w-wait!!! Y-you don't have to do that! Really!!" Makoto said. A bad choice of words as suddenly their full lips turned devious.

"So...what you're saying is you wanna be stripped instead? That's so kinky!~ Let's do it girls!!!"

"Huh?! N-n-n-now, wait just a sec!! H-heeeey!!" Before Makoto knew it, he was swarmed by girls eager to get him naked like the day he was born. And when he became flustered, happily kiss his worries away with their sexy lips. From his lips, to his cheeks to his pre-cum dripping cock, to his achy balls~ Yes, they happily got all of his worries away.

And Junko had set up a camera to record all of it~

[cherryflavouredgoshdarnsoda]

Ok normally I very rarely compose my own full posts, especially back to back, but I just found out about the INSANE shit that Unity is doing that seems likely to ruin developer's wellbeings, and will make a lot of games likely lost media as many popular games being run on Unity are literally being DELETED like Cult of the Lamb, and others, not to mention how this might affect games in development in Unity like Silksong. Ik I'm like a little late to this, and someone like my guy @itdependsmusic has probably already reblogged or posted something about this but omg this is so insane I have to vent about it and explain just for my own benefit.

anyway, the main thrust of this is that Unity plans to implement a $0.20 cost *per install* for the developers of games made in Unity, and not only that but they apparently managed to fuckin double down on that somehow but I haven't actually read into this enough to say more, but regardless OMG how crazy are they, why would you do that for your free platform, i get income and all but you've been free for YEARS, why now? Not only that but You've just instantly made your software SO many times more inaccessible for developers just starting out in the industry, which is their main source of users, and has resulted in the successes of many big indie titles like Cuphead and, yes, my beloved Hollow Knight. This is such a silly move, speaking from my point of view as someone who is a prospective (and I mean that very much) game designer who is looking for an easy start in this field I really enjoy in an engine like Unity, which may no longer be possible now. I might not actually get to do what I love as easily with these new changes, and me and many others might never. okay big rant p much over, again I haven't fully read up on this yet, there's way more thought out and researched discussion about this on the #unity tag if you wanna know more (and I heavily encourage you to take a proper look), but I just wanted to let more people know and give my own thoughts on this bc it affects me and a lot of the games I love.

[dukeoftheblackstar]

I may take a bit to reply today or maybe not reply at all. I have the little silly dancers in their silly little dancing all up in my head today throwing molotov cocktails left and right and committing their pretty war crimes (arson mostly) all over while I just sit there waving a tiny white flag of surrender reading smut or poetry — or both at the same time, idgaf maybe idk. >:

So yeah, I'm not mad or ignoring anyone on purpose, I just am unable to do so today. Filling my head with comfort thots of bath-time with old man Plo and having his 18239128390128319083 babies — will also dabble so heavily on the creation of said babies , which is always a delight.

So if you're ever wondering if Plo's gonna be alright. No, he will not be alright. He will be on Duchii duty 24/7 beginning this hour. Will do things 100/10 to him frfr. He will be tired nd spent. But will be very much loved ♥♥♥ Send prayers LOL

Triggers be wild today again — getting a little bit more too handle with each day this week. Extra spicy. And I wonder if it was triggered by the text incident which happened again recently or it's because it just decided to.

It's the shittiest reason tbh. "it just decided to" — it's as if my brain suddenly just got bored and is all "Can't be happy all the time, babydoll. Why don't we make you extra neurotic today." And it does that silly dance that in spite of "it" — my brain, being a harbinger of bad news, I find the silly dance silly cute.

It's silly. It's the silly dancer. Just that little cute thing dancing while throwing molotov cocktails left and right in their little silly dance. I can't really hate them because they be so silly cute. But they're setting everything on fire and idk if I like that. I probably don't because then I have to do something about it. Actually do something about it.

I've cleaned though. I probably would again to extinguish the fire. Take out the meats from the fridge and clean the clean fridge. Put it back, stack them, and wait for god-knows how long before I do it again because oh my god, I seriously need a bigger fridge and it has to be done properly; always three — never more, never less.

And then the shower and bath conundrum on which takes precedence because I will do both. All inhibitions are out the door now, but I like it. I love water, you see? So bath and shower is like double the fun, double the fantasy maybe? Team Rocket from Pokemon but like, bath/shower maybe?

I wanna read though. Write too. Maybe watch. But it's there. The silly dancing silliness which makes me incapable of doing that. I'm just grateful they're kind enough to make me work when it's work time?

It's not a sad or pitiful thing in my opinion because it's me. They're little silly dancing silliness of me. I'm at peace with my shit, a condition I don't even know maybe? But I'm okay with it.

I'm okay with not seeing who's in the mirror. Like who's face is that because I love myself. I love wearing comfy clothing, love not wearing pants when I'm at home, love the marks on my body because I'm not exactly slender? Love my goddamn thighs that I'm afraid of scratching them? I'm okay with feeling like I'm on autopilot sometimes. I love watching my fingers shake sometimes because idk man, they're pretty gorgeous if you ask me.

I love them all. Love it more than I can and try to manage them no matter how many times they come back. Love it even when I cry because biiitch lemme tell you, I look cute AF when I cry. Real 'fuckmeupdaddy' face when I cry — I'm also equally unhinged all the time so. This is no surprise >:

I'm not vain or anything, but I've just come to terms with who I am and what can I offer. I don't shy away from compliments all the time because if you believe I'm that, I should always remember to have the moral compass to do the same. If you think I'm cute, then bitch yass. Because I owe it to myself for making it this far to put myself down.

So yes. Maybe I am gonna shower-bath at the same time. Remorsefully cut my nails for my own safety.

***

And here it is. I wrote all of that with the silly dancing molotov throwing arson committing silliness bebbis and they're just sat there all cute like 'awww did you burn me out off that wip I was actually enjoying, you cute little monster?" and they be so cute about like 'maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe'.

And now the wip and me is on fire and this cute little dancing silliness is just there silly dancing all cute and silly.

So now we're at an impasse and there's only one thing left to do.

Eat the little silly dancing silliness so they're back in their intricate little boxes. Cute little silly dancing shits they are, but I love them?

[thekrows-nest]

(anon)

Heh, it’s all good.

After the long, analytical sad asks (poor Mary), time for something relatively nice.

I’m not sure if you’d prefer Jazzy to not be discussed much, being a child character on an 18+ blog.

Some people really don’t feel comfortable with that and I don’t want to inspire weird asks or claims that a child character is being discussed inappropriately. Happy to leave her as a background character. (As she probably should be.)

But if it’s cool, after the ‘Dove inexplicably tries to harm Krow’s loved ones’ wild card ask I had a headcanon that quickly gives Jazzy and Luke some plot armour.

Maybe Jazzy casually does capoeira and is kind of talented?

Off to google. Not sure about after school programs but in SF Columbidae there is a club with free classes available during the term (for kids whose families can’t pay the fees). That fits.

Maybe her classmate’s parent picks them both up after school and then they spar for a hour or two until Luke gets off work to collect her.

She’s still really young (colouring book/tooth gap kinda stage?) and is a bit clumsy, doesn’t have the complex parts down. Normally a chill gentle artistic kid. But she’s got good instincts. She’s confident and strong for her age and her upbringing taught her she should be treated respectfully. She also grew up watching how Krow carried themselves.

For some reason A-hole Dove (or an older child, or a nasty lady?) got an attitude, roughly grabbing Jazzy’s arm, and before either Luke or Krow could react the offending ass was wallpaper.

Krow was horrified (it will not be without consequences) but internally squeeing over their little charge. Tiny, cute, but packing such deceptive power… well, she could almost be Krow’s own daughter. *happy birb noises* *delulu plans about teaching her butterfly knives* They are swelling with pride.

Luke is worried about her being punished for defending herself, he needs to explain Karens the world to Jazzy. But he is also quietly relieved. He feels guilty about working so much at odd hours and Columbidae City is so sketchy.

It’s reassuring that in addition to Krow protecting her Jazzy isn’t completely helpless.

Yeah jeez anon what did Mary ever do to you? /silly

(I appreciate the concern anon and you're very valid to have them, since it is something I had wondered too. I had been hesitant for a bit to even mention Jazzy before because of those connotations. Ultimately I figure I can talk about her a little, both to give context to Luke and even Krow's characters more, and to further humanize them, since she is important to both of their lives.)

It's possible that Jazzy could be learning capoiera (or karate or taekwondo or some other martial art) both as a means for learning self defense but also boosting in her self confidence. It'd further fit for her to learn what with being an afab PoC kid. Luke (and Krow) would wanna make sure she isn't defenseless.

(I wouldn't say Jazzy is super duper young, she's definitely old enough she can read some on her own, but isn't in the double digits yet either) and yeah, that is all very fitting with how I see her as. She's a good and chill kid, but a combo of her upbringing and also looking up to Krow has inspired her certainly.

I think if Krow ever were to see Jazzy actually defend herself, he wouldn't be sure whether to be horrified, impressed or laugh. Probably some combo of all three. In the end probably settle on being proud she can stand up for herself and willing to. (and you know what yes he is totally devising plans to show her how to use a butterfly knife when she's older).

I don't think Luke would punish Jazzy if it was valid reasons for defending herself (and most likely was). Have to explain a bit how the world works certainly, but he has also taught her (and she knows) to not use violence unless needed.

Jazzy is gonna be very capable when she grows up for sure.

[whumpshaped]

FRIEND HELLO. I think I’ll be able to (hopefully) catch up on your writing this weekend- tonight I have a lot of homework, so reading your stuff will be something to look forward to. Anyways, today my grandmother picked me up after school because my mom had a work seminar thing and you won’t BELIEVE what I got to do. You know recipe boxes? Y’know, those little boxes with (mostly handwritten) recipe cards that are full of heirloom recipes passed down through the generations??? I GOT TO LOOK AT MY GRANDMOTHER’S RECIPE BOX. I only got halfway through, but I had so much fun!!! My family is rather food oriented, especially on my mother’s side (my mom even went to culinary school) so I had a blast hearing about all the different recipes and the stories behind them. Do you have anything like that with your family? A recipe box or family cookbook? I brought some home to try to make. I could read most of them, except for my great grandmother’s recipes, because she has the cursive that looks less letter shaped and more squiggly. Let me know if you wanna hear about any cooking journeys when I get to make some of the stuff! (It is also okay if you don’t want to hear about them! It is why I want to ask and double check. I understand my family in particular is more interested in cooking than most) I hope you are having a good day! ~🐸

of COURSE i wanna hear !!! and yes both my grandma and mom have recipe books, written full + stuffed full of individual newspaper cutouts and other pages they wrote individually or got from friends. my other grandma also has one, i only read that one after she died. im debating bringing that here and maybe trying out some stuff, tho im super picky so idk if thatd work out. my living grandma's one has her mom's recipes too, and its full of grammatical errors and silly typos that my grandma references all the time. the most common one is how she misspelled tojás as tojaja... meaning, egg. but yeah. i love the recipe books. its a little sad thinking abt the fact that not only am i super picky, i now have problems w food in general so even if i inherit them theyll probably never get used. maybe i should let my brother get them so maybe his future children will use it? idk. anyway! yes its a great day here im very happy today

[vintage-rejects]

Analysis of Spy’s character from a Spy Fan

Hello Team Fortress 2 community! It is I, the silly little Vin! Mostly known for my banger discord text posts, and the occasional drawing here or there. I’m here to branch out my silly ideas forth to the world of Tf2 Tumblr! (A terrible idea, I know!) However, I do this with confidence as I’ve got a lot to say! Mostly, about Spy!!

Spy? Yes, Spy! I love Spy! He’s my favorite mercenary, and my favorite character in TF2! He’s the only class I’ll horribly play as, as I’m too stubborn and he’s too much fun! I’m sort of here to analyze his character, simply for the fun of it! I think there’s a lot the fandom doesn’t recognize with Spy. I’m here to simply say my peace and continue to co-exist! Hoping my knowledge reaches far and wide… Or just pray no one hates me. That too. Now, let us begin!

Disclaimer: I have read ALL the comics (even the update ones I didn’t NEED to read, but I did), listened to ALL of Spy’s voice lines, commands, and taunts (bc I’m obsessed and have A.D.D hiiii), and have overanalyzed too many SFMs to count. Safe to say, I know what I’m talking about! No need for any hardcore fans to worry, alright? Enjoy the read under the cut! It is long, very long. Might wanna get a snack.

Spy’s description on his… information card(?) goes as follows:

“He is a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in riddles, lovingly sprinkled with intrigue, express mailed to Mystery, Alaska, and LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU! but it is too late. You're dead. For he is the Spy - globetrotting rogue, lady killer (metaphorically) and mankiller (for real).”

This little inkling of information actually tells us a lot about Spy! They describe him as “globetrotting,” indicating he’s traveled the world! Spy moves from place to place, constantly on the run. He’s been exposed to numerous cultures, which is useful for a man in his field! You must learn exactly what to imitate.

The description of “rogue,” implies Spy is a man of little morals. The exact definition is “a dishonest or unprincipled man.” This showcases how much Spy lies. He’s a liar, guys. Spy, if given any chance, can and will lie to save his skin. He isn’t opposed to it, in fact, he probably relishes it.

The use of “lady killer” and “mankiller” is comedic, and obviously paints a very distinct picture. He is known to go on various rendezvous with women and has killed many men. It’s not surprising. (However, I want to note something important. Just for us fans, though! I think it’s super sweet everyone I’ve seen headcanons Spy as bisexual. I do too! I mean, how can this man not sleep with men? It’s in his blood. Just something I think is cute, anyway let’s continue!)

That is… basically all we get told about Spy. Aside from the vague, “Hailing from an indeterminate region of France, the Spy is an enthusiast of sharp suits and even sharper knives [...]” sentence in his wiki.

That’s all we know about Spy.

He’s from France

He’s a Spy

He’s traveled the world, or most of it

He’s a liar

He is a whore, essentially. Guy’s don’t lie, Spy is a whore it’s literally cano–

cOUGH I mean, he’s taken out many women mhm yes yes

He kills men exceptionally well

He likes sharp suits

He likes even sharper knives

So… Spy’s just a man of French origin, who dresses up sharply, likes sharper knives, lies constantly, travels around the world, and is a mankiller who happens to take women out like it’s a hobby?... Well, yes!... But there’s also more to him. The key, however, is to go digging for it! Just like Spy himself, we must look for clues.

One main clue, is found through After Breakfast with SquimJim’s video, “TF2: A Complete History of the Spy.” At around 6:49 in the video, they uncover this old description given to Spy;

“A master of disguise, misdirection, and the byzantine details of who really runs things, the Spy is a double reverse quadruple agent whose reflexive suspicion is entirely justified.”

This… THIS is something fascinating! This really goes through and outlines the true sinister nature of Spy’s character. Something the fandom seems to forget quite a bit. I get it, TF2 is… TF2! You are prone to forgetting how scary some of these characters are! However, you’re also prone to forgetting other qualities about them… I’m getting ahead of myself! Let’s discuss this nugget of information!

Spy is described as a master of “disguise, misdirection, and the byzantine details of who really runs things.” Disguise is easy, he can look however he wants. Misdirection is simple enough too, he is capable of leading people astray. Spy can easily confuse others and cause them to pause, only to give him the perfect opportunity to strike or escape. That last line… That last line is very curious.

Anyone who’s ever been in 4th grade knows that byzantine normally refers to the Byzantine Empire. However, it also has other meanings… Like most words. Byzantine can also mean “(of a system or situation) excessively complicated, and typically involving a great deal of administrative detail.” So, that last description basically says Spy’s a master of “the excessively complicated details of who really runs things.” This indicates that Spy is a leader, a highly skilled leader. One who understands rather complex tasks and is able to deal with them. Interesting to note, don’t you say?

That last line also gives a fun little token of info. It describes Spy to have “reflexive suspicion” that is entirely justified. Mostly, due to the insane status he has as an agent. Spy’s job is to have enemies, not friends. It wasn’t in his job description to trust people. His goal is to make others trust him, then stab them in the back later. Spy’s a liar, master of disguise, misdirection, and isn’t trustworthy. Due to this, Spy’s “reflexive suspicion” indicates that he’s rather paranoid. He cannot risk trusting anyone, due to the immense amount of backs he has stabbed, the men he’s killed, and the women he’s indulged. Spy makes many more enemies than friends. That is just a given.

Now, we can add a few more things to that bullet list.

Master of disguise

Is able to lead people astray

Capable of leading under most, if not all, circumstances

Highly paranoid, for justified reasons

However, that is not all to Spy! To search for more clues, we must dig deeper! We must look at the game itself! A big key to Spy as a character is his voice lines.

In his responses, commands, and taunts, some new things are brought to light. Spy is shown to be quite sassy and petty. Insulting his teammates (they all do, but let’s ignore that), and constantly exhibiting a sense of sarcasm. Some of my favorite examples are as follows:

"You got blood on my suit." (Backstabbing an Enemy)

"Well, off to visit your mother!" (Dominating a Scout, I’LL GET TO THE DAD STUFF LATER WAIT–)

"Don't feel bad; you did a fine job tossing your little balls around!" (Dominating a Demoman)

"You died as you lived: morbidly obese!" (Dominating a Heavy, hot take: the mercs need to stOP CALLING MISHA FAT FFS GUYS I KNOW IT WAS 2007 BUT STO–)

(while laughing) "You live in a van!" (laughs again) (Dominating a Sniper)

"I'm back, you subnormal halfwit!" (Revenge Kill)

"They should call you whiners 'Dr. NOOOOOO!'" (Under the effects of an Ubercharge)

"Why is the cart not moving?!" (Attacking: Cart has stopped)

These few lines I’ve picked out are just the iceberg of Spy insults. Anyone who’s played the game, either as Spy or with a Spy on their team, has probably heard these lines. This is no secret.

However, what seems to be constantly forgotten is that Spy has a sense of humor! The man isn’t all doom and gloom despite what the comics say, TRUST ME THAT’S IT’S OWN POST! Don’t believe me? Hear these goofy lines yourself. These, I love dearly. Look how silly Spy truly is;

"Shall I carry us to victory? I don't mind." (First Round in Competitive Mode Setup)

"I have a tie. I'm wearing it, it's silk, and it costs $9000. I do not need another one!" (Previous Round was a Tie)

"I am uncorking a bottle of 1942 Château Backstab! [uncorking sound]" (Rank Up)

"And when the Spy saw the breadth of his achievement, he wept, for there were no more backs to stab." (Rank Up)

"Jealous?" (Dance-Off Fate)

(short scream) (breath) (long scream) (Falling in Bottomless Pit)

(dramatic scream) "Come on, I don't have all day." (Falling in Bottomless Pit)

"I'll be seeeing youuu!" (Duel Accepted)

"I'm coming for you!" (Duel Accepted)

"I'm not just any unicorn! I am the prettiest unicorn that ever was!" (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

"You don't need to tell me I am the prettiest unicorn! I know I am the prettiest unicorn!" (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

"I am the prettiest unicorn." (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

"Sorry to horn in." (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

LITERALLY JUST SPY TAUNTING WITH THE BOX TROT, ALL HE DOES IS LAUGH

"Let us dance, gentlemen! Dance like no one's shooting at us!" (Taunting with Conga)

"My hands against your hands!" (Taunting with Fist Bump)

"Slap my hand." (Taunting with High Five)

*exhales heavily* "You want it, Spy! You want it!" *heavily breathing* (Taunting with mannrobics, this one makes me laugh idk why)

"Oh, good. A concussion!" (Taunting with Skull Cracker)

"And we're done! Time to shower." (taunting with Square Dance)

"And we're done! Off to hang myself!" (Taunting with Square Dance)

"Who among you is man enough to dance with me?" (Starting a Square Dance)

"I'm not going to stab you, I'm not going to stab you! HA! I stabbed you!" (Knife Stabbing Kill Taunt)

Do you see how funny this man is!? How lighthearted he can be?! Why does everyone forget this?! Spy isn’t just pissy faces and dry comments, he knows how to laugh! He can take a joke! He’s pretty damn funny! Just.. OOF As a Spy fan, it baffles me that people forget this stuff. I suppose not everyone digs into every piece of canon content for characters they like– But STILL, Spy is goofy! Have you heard his laugh? Oh my god, it’s the silliest thing about him! Spy likes to portray himself as this suave, handsome, sexy, fancy rogue with a garnish of danger– But, that laugh he has is the “ugliest” thing I’ve ever heard. I love it so much. It’s perfect for Spy. His obnoxious snorting and stupid “honhon”s. GOSH, I LOVE SPY!! I love him so much–

Sorry! Lost… professionalism there. Point is, Spy is also quite silly and comical! That isn’t the only thing many forget about him. There’s constant debate about who the “sanest” on the team is. Many argue Sniper or Spy is the candidate. Which, I have to laugh because it’s clearly Scout. (I could make a whole thing about that too, but this is about Spy–) Guys, Spy is probably one of the creepiest mother fuckers on that team. Don’t believe me? Simply look at more voice lines! Here are some chilling examples;

"I like my enemies like I like my wines: I let them breathe, for a moment." (First Round in Competitive Mode Setup)

"Six healthy backs just waiting to be stabbed! [sniffs] Ah, there's that new back smell." (First Round in Competitive Mode Setup)

"Six unstabbed backs: smooth, healthy, untouched by knife wounds? I do love a blank canvas!" (First Round in Competitive Mode Setup)

"If there are any unicorns prettier than me, I will find them. I will follow them. And no one will ever see those unicorns again." (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

"Another day, another back with a gaping stab wound!" (Contract Complete)

"This won't be the first corpse I've disposed of in the dead of night." (Helltower Responses Round Start)

"Heh heh heh heh. Like a wolf among the lambs." (Tie Taunts)

"Ah, stab wounds. My favorite type of wound!" (Knife Stabbing Kill Taunt)

"Shock, blood loss, infection; Oh ho ho ho, I love stabbing!" (Knife Stabbing Kill Taunt)

"I'm going to butcher you like a pig." (Knife Stabbing Kill Taunt)

Do you see how unhinged this man is? How nervous he can make someone? He’s got a thing for stabbing, and that’s unsettling. You think he’s mentally stable now? You think he’s sane? Think again. He’s questionable at most, and deserves a lot of suspicion.

Now, we’ve learned Spy is rather goofy and quite fucking creepy. What’s next? Now, my dear friends, we learn of Spy’s fearless nature. This man fears nothing, literally. I’ve combed through everyone’s voice lines. Everyone but Spy, Heavy, and Engineer shows fear. They all scream and panic. Engineer, however, shows concern! Heavy shows complete joy and eagerness. While Spy shows annoyance and acceptance. This indicates, even when faced with his own death, Spy isn’t afraid.

In the comics, there’s further evidence for this. Throughout every batshit event, Spy keeps a straight face and exhibits begrudging acceptance.

If Spy is afraid of something, it is unknown. Of course, like any fan with headcanons and stuff, I can speculate. I can give him fears, worries, etc… But this isn’t about my headcanons! This is canon Spy!

Now, look at all we’ve covered! The wiki, the voice lines, and even the comic! (Albeit vaguely, again that’s its own post–) What could possibly be left? What else is there to this masked maniac? Simple: How much he fucking cares.

Spy cares so fucking much about his team it’s ridiculous. He cares a lot. Immensely. In fact, scoutzone made a very good post discussing Spy's actions in Expiration Date. Of course, I myself will also talk about it. I cannot help it! We are going to be focusing on the scenes during 2:57-12:11, as there’s tons of good Spy content to work with.

Upon receiving an answer from Medic on how long they have to live, Spy seemingly gets to work. It seems mere hours later (indicated by how much darker it is outside than before), Spy gathers his entire team around a table. He gives a very touching, encouraging speech. Spy hypes everyone up, talking them up greatly. He is under the impression they will all die, that their hours are numbered. What does he do? Tasks Scout to gather everyone’s dying wish.

Spy wants to make everyone’s dying wish come true! How– How is that not sweet?! HE EVEN SMILES DURING HIS SPEECH LOOK

Spy is so ready to complete everyone’s dying wish, and even lifts their spirits with a speech. How is that not caring?! And… Oh Scout, you fucking weasel. Made a fool out of Spy in front of everyone. After his nice speech and his eagerness to help everyone. You can see at 4:29 how upset he is. How much that bothered him, because Spy was trying to be nice and no one appreciated it.

Afterwards, he retreats to his smoking room. A safe place to hide and ignore his emotions. Play it casually like everyone else, because no one cares except for him apparently– Until, the man who ruined his gesture shows up.

Spy rightfully retaliates, even grabbing his knife to stab Scout. However, after the panicked “sorry” comes out, Spy gives up. With a roll of his eyes, he lets Scout in and puts away the knife. Sure, stabbing Scout was a bit much, however it speaks a lot that Spy decided to not hold grudges. He is going to die, and figures leaving things on a higher note is much more preferable.

And just… MMM the way he decides to help Scout is so sweet! Spy has three days, three days to do whatever he wants. He chooses to spend them helping Scout, the guy who ruined his whole kind gesture towards the team, get a date with the iconic lesbian Miss Pauling. That… Just shows so much about his character. Willing to push issues aside in order to help, because dammit he wanted to help his entire team. He can’t do that without knowing their wishes. But, Scout told him his wish. He figures one is better than none, and spends endless hours getting the job done.

NOW THIS SCENE, I LOVE THIS SCENE!! I feel like everyone overlooks it. When Spy claims time has run out and Scout failed… His face. His face when Scout stands up to him and takes matters into his own hands. Look how proud he is. He’s so proud!! That smile threatening to peek out, and him pointing at the watch– Spy is so proud of Scout finally just going for it. Truth is, Scout really didn’t need the endless hours of teaching. The main lesson was to just fucking ask her out. Finally, he did! Spy couldn’t be happier.

Of course, not to mention that adorable scene of him watching the cameras. Soldier and Demo give their very helpful input, as Spy makes sure Scout doesn’t fuck the whole thing up.

Now, this last little scene just shows an inkling of how much Spy cares. During the bread monster battle, at around 12:06 Spy pulls Scout away from the fight. Coyly says, “I think it’s going pretty well!” and shoos him off to talk to Pauling. That… TOP TIER dad shit right there.

Speaking of dad… Let’s finally discuss the comic.

Ah yes, this scene. This comes in pretty early in the comic. Beforehand, no one knew what we do now. So, this could indicate various things. Spy cares about Scout, Expiration Date showed us this. This could also be a thing where, at the mention of a mother… Spy grows soft. (My Spy is a mother's boy, sorry not sorry yes I gave Spy a lovely mother and he adores her and I’ll show you her later I promise she’s wonderful–) However, it is still sweet regardless of how Spy gives Scout the time of day. He helps him out, Spy likes to help people. He wants to help his team.

And now… The big reveal…

Spy is Scout’s father.

It’s pretty clear, ever since the events of Meet the Spy, Valve wanted Spy to be Scout’s dad. Finally, they confirmed it! Through.. Confusing means. (I’ll be honest, with how RED and BLU work, I was really torn by the whole thing. Cross faction affairs and whatever, but it all worked out. My headcanons are ironed out, it’s chill.)

This adds layers to everything. The fact that Spy lied to Scout, pretending to be Tom Jones… It says a lot. Spy knew Scout wouldn’t be happy dying knowing Spy was his father. So, Spy did what he always does… pretends to be someone he’s not. In order to make sure Scout died happily…

That just shows how much he cares. About Scout, that is. There’s a lot of examples to show how much he cares about Scout.

Though, what’s fascinating is how many people know Spy is Scout’s father. Sniper does, indicated by his reaction upon finding the dying Scout. Heavy does too, by his comment of Scout’s father “disappearing often.” A contract line from Miss Pauling confirms she knows as well. It could also be assumed Medic knows, as he’s the fucking doctor and needs DNA samples all the damn time. It brings up interesting questions… How do they know? Did Spy tell them? Did they just figure it out? Who else knows? The entire team, but Scout? That, for now, is left up to debate.

Now, we have finally met the Spy… Wait… Meet… The Spy?

Silly me, I completely jumped over Meet the Spy! Let’s quickly go over it!

Meet the Spy is fascinating as it really hints at the danger of Spy as a character. Specifically, the RED Spy… The tales of his feats are described by the BLU Spy, as a cautionary tale. A warning. It’s fascinating really.

This sort of creates the notion the two teams act rather differently from each other. They all just happen to look similar… Though, this isn’t a post about the factions. This is about Spy.

At 0:04, we can see the whole wall of random alerts BLU has. They have two alerts specifically for the Red Spy. This already shows he’s a rather intimidating threat. This is only amplified by the long warning Blu Spy gives them.

Meet the Spy just cements things we previously covered about Spy. At 1:14, we discover the Red Spy has had an affair with the Blu Scout’s mother. This proves Spy is an enjoyer of women, but also his silly escapades do get him into trouble. It causes him to make enemies. (also “THE GLOVES AND BALACLAVA STAY ON DURING SEX”)

Blu Spy shows a lot of wariness when it comes to his Red counterpart. He talks at length about Red Spy’s efficiency when it comes to his job. He breezes past defenses, dismembers colleagues, and can be anyone within the base. Spy makes you just about as paranoid as he himself is. You cannot trust anyone when a Spy is within your walls. In fact, the ending confirms this.

At 2:44, it is revealed the Red Spy himself was pretending to be the Blu Scout. This showcases the Red Spy is a very good actor. He is able to fool people easily.

I’d also like to note, I believe the Blu Spy is exceptional at getting information on targets! The nature of the pictures he has of the Red Spy and Blu Scout’s mother confirm this! He, or someone, managed to find their location, the news of Red Spy being there, the exact time, and the perfect angle to snap photos. Blu Spy is an effective stalker! Good for him, he needs it for his job!

That, my friends, brings this post to a close. We went through everything. All the information I managed to find and overanalyze. What have we learned about Spy?

Spy is a highly ranked agent. His job boils down to creating enemies, by ending and ruining lives. He steals wives, secret information, and the hearts of many. Due to this, he possesses an unhealthy amount of paranoia. No one can be too close, lest they die or betray him. He is dangerous, fearless. Spy will go into any situation with a level head, and neutrality to death. He isn’t too concerned with that sort of thing. He has proved himself to be a wonderful actor and even a decent stalker. He’s silent, but deadly. Never seen nor heard. His mental state appears to be questionable, as his love for stabbing borders on terrifying. He takes his job as an art form, and does it with immense pleasure. Despite this, Spy has a softer side. He knows when to laugh, and even makes jokes. He has a love for the finer things in life, suits and wine. He is shown to care too much. He cares so much it often backfires on him and causes him pain. He is shown to adore his team, and love his son. Spy is human, with flaws and scars. He is a flickering light, a delicate rose. Spy’s character is complex, poetic, ugly yet beautiful.

Spy is my favorite Team Fortress 2 character. I love him so much, he means a lot to me. This bitter, broken, tragic older man just… means a lot to me. I believe he deserves the world, a lot of love. So, I happily gave it to him through a headcanon romantic relationship with his own team’s mad doctor. I could make a whole post as to why Gentle Surgery of all ships is my favorite… We’ll see.

Thanks for reading. I hope you’ve learned something about Spy today! Take care! :)

[zodiakuroo]

pierced

idk what to tell you this is just 2k of pussy eating (don’t blame me blame eren brain rot)

18+, minors dni

part 2

“What did you do?!” You say, incredulously. It’s a rhetorical question, you can see exactly what he’s done. Eren stands in front of you, shamelessly, with his pants and boxers dropped to his ankles as his flaccid penis hangs between his thighs. Your attention is mainly focused on the brand new, shiny titanium barbell that goes through the head of his dick.

“Do you like it?” You can tell by his posture and the shit-eating grin on his face that he’s incredibly proud of his newest body modification.

“Why on earth would you get a piercing there?” The bulbous head is just few shades of pink darker than the rest of his pale shaft. You wince in your seat, imagining what it would feel like to stick a needle right through your most sensitive parts.

“Well, it was a dare and Jean bet that I wouldn’t so I had to.” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, fully aware of how silly it sounds as he says it out loud.

“Of course.” You mutter. What other chain of events would lead to your boyfriend coming home with a fucking Prince Albert. “Does it hurt?” You lean in just a little closer and notice the little bit of dried blood where the jewelry pierces his flesh.

“Nah. Didn’t feel a thing.” He says with a wink and begins dressing himself again before dropping down on couch next you, throwing his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his chest.

“You’re such an idiot.” You giggle, nuzzling your head into his neck, inhaling the heady scent you’ve come to associate with him.

“There is one thing though.” His voice is softer, lacking it’s usual self-assured tone. He can’t say that he’s happy about what he’s about to tell you. In fact, had he known about this small detail beforehand he might not have gone through with that stupid dare.

“Hmm?” You respond noncommittally, too preoccupied by your current task of leaving gentle kisses on his jaw and giving him the soft affection you know he loves but will never ask for.

“No sex for a month. Piercer’s orders.” His eyes drift down cautiously to gauge your reaction.

You stop in your tracks and frown up at him. At first you think he’s kidding but no such luck. “Oh my god.” You groan. “You’re such an idiot.”

Three days.

A grand total of three days.

It’s sad really, but you should have seen it coming. Like Eren Jaeger’s libido would ever let him go a whole 30 days with no sex.

He blames you and the way you prance around the apartment in those tight, short shorts. How is he not supposed to want you when he has to spend the day watching your tits bounce around in that white tank top, nipples just barely visible through the fabric?

It’s not like you put up much of a fight anyways. The way that man has you wrapped around your finger, all it took was a few well-placed touches and whispers of how much he misses the way you feel and the way you taste. Just like that, Eren has you naked, legs hanging off the edge of the bed with his face buried in your cunt.

“Love this pussy.” He murmurs, nipping at the soft skin of your inner thigh. “Can’t live without it.”

He knows that he can’t be inside you. He knows. And yet he continues to torture himself because this is as close as he can get to what he really needs.

The rough pads of his fingertips massage your wall making you buck into his hand, silently begging for something deeper. He laps at you with his tongue, running it from your clit all the way down to your hole, licking up the slick that leaks out around his knuckles.

You feel the sparks of pleasure heating up your abdomen and you squeeze your thighs around his head, weaving your hands through his long, mahogany locks. ‘Eren’falls from your lips over and over in breathy mewls that only encourage him to keep going. His fingers put in double time hitting the special spot deep inside you while he seals his lips around clit and pulls it into his mouth. You dig your heels into his back to give you leverage to rut into his face as he pushes you closer and closer towards an inevitable orgasm.

You’re so hot and wet inside, squeezing so tight around his fingers. His mind conjures up memories of how good it felt to have your gooey walls clamping down on his dick and the soft cries you let out as he split you open.

He’s rock solid in his sweats right now and his cock hurts, sensitive tissue swelling and pulsating around his still fresh piercing. But he can’t think about that right now. All that’s on his mind is how badly he wants to be inside you right now. Any of your holes, it doesn’t matter which. But they’re all off limits.

Quite frankly, it pisses him off.

There is no choice but for him to take his frustrations out on your body. He slowly drags his fingers out of you, marveling at the way your needy cunt tries to pull him back in.

Before you can even protest Eren presses his fingers, still warm from your pussy and covered in your cream, against your lips.

“Open up.” He practically growls, voice thick with arousal.

You part your lips in response, letting him clean his fingers off using your tongue. Reflexively, you close your lips around them and begin to suck, moaning at the taste of yourself.

“God, princess.” He pants with his jaw slack. “Want your mouth around me so bad.”

It only motivates you to take his fingers deeper. Deep enough to make you gag as your drool runs down his knuckles while you swirl your tongue around his digits.

The way you look at him doesn’t help either. Usually you’d shy away from eye contact when he makes you do something embarrassing like this, sucking on his fingers like you’re sucking on his cock. But tonight is different. You stare straight at him with that heavy-lidded gaze, eyes glossy and full of want. The frustration is killing him, he can’t stand to look at you anymore so instead he gives his undivided attention to your cunt.

“Babe you wanna know something?” His breath fans over your soaked core, making you twitch in his hold. Something gives you the feeling that he’s not really talking to you, he’s talking to what’s between your legs. Although he’s not even looking at you, you still nod your head yes, so wound up you’ll take anything from him at this point.

“I read online,” He goes quiet for a moment, distracted at the way your weeping hole clenches around nothing, almost like it’s begging for him to fill it. “That dick piercings feel real good in pussy. I promise it’ll be worth it.”

Eren bends down to lick at your dripping hole, he slides his tongue all the way down, making sure not waste a single drop, stopping just above the tight ring of muscle making your squeal in surprise.

”Can you imagine it?” He drags is fingers from your lips, leaving a path of saliva down the valley of your breasts, across your stomach until he reaches your clit, rubbing the sensitive numb in slow, steady circles with his thumb while you fist the sheets trying to swallow the sounds he’s coaxing out of you. “How it’s gonna feel inside you? How it’s gonna hit that spot that makes you go dumb?”

Sure, he sounds composed but when you look down at him and see the way his pupils are blown wide, pretty pink tongue hanging slightly out of his mouth, you know he’s imagining it too.

“Gonna drive you crazy.” His calloused fingertips dig further into your pudgy thighs, clipped nails leaving little crescents indented in your skin. “Make you even more crazy for my cock than you already are.”

“Yeah ‘ren.” You gasp as he runs his tongue through your folds. “Wan’ your cock.” You babble mindless agreements at whatever filth he’s spewing, too fucked out and desperate for his cock to care.

Like the bastard he is, he chuckles at your response, satisfied with knowing that you want him just as bad as he wants you.

He leans forward and presses the flat of his tongue against your entrance, telling you (wordlessly) what he wants.

Beg

He wants you to beg for it.

And of course you oblige. You chant out ‘please Eren, please Eren, please Eren’ over and over again as if you’ve forgotten every other word.

He rewards for your obedience by pushing the slippery muscle into your hole, nice and slow savouring the way your tart essence covers his taste buds.

“Fuck- more please.” Your back arches off the bed in response but his left hand splays across your abdomen keeping you in place.

His right thumb is still rubbing you, pressing harder, going faster while he drives his tongue even deeper licking up all of your juices like a man starved. He devours you shamelessly, the sloppy sounds only drowned out by your pornographic whining. He thrusts in and out, in and out, in and out, fucking you with his tongue, making sure to taste every inch of you.

Your flavor is addictive, he can’t get enough. He grunts against with his face shoved against you, sending vibrations from your core, right up your spine. His fingers and tongue assault your pussy mercilessly, setting every single nerve on fire.

“Baby- ah- I- I’m close” you whimper, feeling tension brewing in your core, threatening to burst at any second.

“No.” The hand that was playing with your pussy comes down hard on your puffy clit, the sound of the smack echoing in the quiet room.

You let out a cry, so high pitched you can hardly believe it’s your voice.

“Can’t come until I do.” Just like that, he’s off of you completely, leaving you trembling without his touch.

The pain and frustration have tears brimming at your lash line. How cruel of him. To dangle an orgasm right in front of your face before yanking it away. You begin to stammer out pleas, begging him to touch you again, but they fall on deaf ears.

“C’mon princess. ‘S only fair right?” He looks up at you with the sweetest, emerald puppy dog eyes, juxtaposing the lewd way he licks the remnants of your arousal from his swollen lips.

It’s not fair at all. You weren’t the one who decided to get their dick pierced on a whim. Why should you have to suffer? But there’s too much blood in your throbbing cunt and not enough in your brain so you can hardly put together a coherent sentence, let alone argue with him.

“Gonna edge you like this every day yeah?” He shifts his body to hover over you, using his arms to hold himself up so that his nose barely brushes yours and stray stands of his messy hair tickle the sides of your face. “Till I get to fuck you again.” He dips down to kiss you on the lips. It’s barely more than a peck, far too chaste and gone far too soon.

“Christ, I can’t wait to fuck you again.”

[donutloverxo]

Too big to handle

Written for @imdarkinme . Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs and welcome and much appreciated. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+. Please🙏🙏

Summary - Steve's cock is too big for your pussy.

Warnings - smut(m/f), daddy kink, maybe ddlg but not really, readers a bit naive, size kink, praise kink, cum play.

Pairing - Steve x reader Word count - 1.4k

"Hm..." you sighed dreamily, in awe of just how amazingly the jeans you got your daddy for valentines suits him. He looked hot even while he was doing the dishes.

He looks over his shoulder to you, his eyebrows pinched together but then smiles upon seeing you openly oggling him, "Like what you see, doll?"

"Um, what? I wasn't doing anything!!" you yelled when you realised you had been caught red handed.

"Relax, honey," he teased, booping your nose with his finger, "If you want something, all you have to do is ask for it."

"Um... I do want something..."

"Uh-huh, and what is that," he said, crossing his hands over his chest, the veins in his biceps popping which made you salivate even more so.

"I thought..." you looked up at him with your sweet doe eyes, jutting your lips out and making a face he would never say no to, "maybe we could go all the way? I know you would've liked to wait, being from the forties and all, but I don't think I have it in me to..."

He cleared his throat, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he stammered over his words, "Is that what you want?"

"If you'd like to as well then yes."

"Believe me, doll, there is nothing in this world I'd like more," he groaned. "I didn't ask because I didn't want you to think that it was the only thing I was after."

"I'd never think that, daddy, I know you love me," standing on your tippy toes, and craning your neck, and yet you still couldn't quite reach him because he was just so freaking tall, he smirked at you and met you halfway to peck your lips.

"Of course I do, and don't you ever forget that."

"Can we get the lights?" you asked, just a bit apprehensive, as he kissed you all over your bare thighs.

"Why?" he wanted to know as he propped his chin up on your thigh.

"I..." You didn't have a good enough answer. You had seen him once while he was changing out of his combat suit after he got shot, you knew what a perfect specimen he was, you on the other hand were anything but perfect. "I don't know... it's just that'll make me more comfortable."

"You know I'd do anything to make you comfortable right, doll?" he asked as you nodded. "And I don't mind getting the lights. But I want to see you, all of you, I want to look into your eyes while I make love to you and make you mine."

"That's silly, daddy," you giggled, "I'm already yours."

"That you are," he repeated as he sucked a spot into the inside of your thigh, a bit too close to your panty clad core.

"Mm.. okay... I trust you..." And you'd do anything to make him happy.

"You have no idea how much that means to me, doll," he rolled your panties down your thighs and your legs.

The way he stared at your core would've made you just a little uncomfortable if he wasn't saying the sweet things to you while his fingers toyed with your intimate lips.

"You have such a pretty pussy, baby. I could look at it all day long. Would you let me draw it?" he looked up at you, tearing his eyes away from your gorgeous cunt so he could get an answer from you.

"Yes, of course..." you moaned, clenching around him as he added two more fingers, massaging your walls and pumping them in and out of you.

He hovered over you, "Your pussy looks so tiny, baby, it's so fucking tight, I don't know if I'll last, I gotta prepare you."

You couldn't believe you even thought of keeping the lights off, to miss out on looking at the way Steve looked at you, as if you were the most precious thing in the.

You also would've missed out on seeing his perfect pecs, your hands moving of their own accord to touch his flesh, pink nipples pebbling under your palm.

You dug your nails into his biceps, drawing out blood as you could feel your climax approaching but you held on, you only wanted to come around him, "Will you please put it in me, daddy?" you blinked up at him.

"Alright, honey, I think you're ready," he said as he pulled his fingers out of you, sitting back on his thighs he pushed your knees apart so he could look at you some more, you were swollen and looked about ready for him, two of his fingers parting your vaginal lips so he could admire your arousal seeping out of you, "Fucking perfect."

You could feel your face heating up at his praise, watching him through your hooded eyes and waiting for him to penetrate you and claim you, until that caught your eye.

"Holy shit!" your eyes nearly popping out of their sockets upon seeing what looked like was his monster cock. "How is that so big?!" you yelled.

"What?" he looked down at his cock, standing tall and proud against his abs.

"Steve, I've seen you naked... once... I didn't mean to, but I couldn't look away either..." you tried to explain, getting more and more flustered, "And that," pointing at his cock, "wasn't nearly as big as it looks now."

"Alright, so sweetheart, when a man sees the person he loves naked his manhood grows bigger and..."

"Steve! Oh my god I knew that! But I didn't know that could, literally double in size..."

"Uh... yeah. Mine does, ever since the serum."

You nodded. Before you thought he was big, bigger than anyone you had ever seen, but now... you weren't sure you could even wrap your hand around him.

"Do you want to stop?"

You shook your head, "No, I wanna keep going. I'll fit it in me no matter what, I promise."

He nodded, pushing his tip against your opening, paying close attention to your face to make sure you were okay, but you told him to keep going. He lost track of you, of everything around him, you were so damn tight and so good around him and under him, he stopped when he heard you sobbing.

"No... babygirl," he cooed hovering over you again and propping himself up on his elbows he kissed your tears away.

"It's too big..." you sniffled, ashamed of not doing literally the only thing you were supposed to do.

"That's okay, honey. I'll just stop," he said as he pulled out of you.

He looked down at his cock, which was flushed an angry red, "That looks painful," you rubbed your nose with the back of your hand.

"It is a little... but it'll go away in a bit."

"I want to make you feel good," you whined.

"You make me feel good just by existing. But... I guess there is something you can do..." he smirked, circling his palm around your wrist and bringing your hand closer to his length, "Come on, touch it, don't be so afraid, doll, it's not gonna eat you."

"Mm... okay," you held onto his length, which felt thicker, you could barely wrap your hand around him, you started pumping him in your hand, "Is this okay?" you asked him as you looked up at him.

"More than okay, honey here," he situated his cock right over your pussy, moaning out your name and telling you to keep going as his ejaculate painted your vulva.

You couldn't exactly see it, but you could feel it's warmth on your skin and you were surprised with just how much of it there was. "Can I have a taste please?" You asked after he was done.

His chest was heaving, golden strands kissing his sweaty forehead, "Since you said please," he said, collected some of your slick mixed with his on his fingers and letting you suck on them.

"It's yummy, daddy," you moaned around his digits.

"Don't worry, doll, next time I'll come in your mouth. And you'll be a good girl and swallow all of it."

You nodded, laying back on the mattress and making grabby hands at him to ask him to cuddle you. He only shook his head and chuckled at you.

"You didn't think we were done, did you?" he said as he hoisted your hips up, closer to his mouth, his tongue licking a strip up your slit as he kept looking at you, "I'll have to return the favor."

[quixotic-writer]

Truth or Truth?

Request: Anon

Summary: Q and Sal are in a double punishment. Q is hooked up to a lie detector and is forced to answer questions about his relationship with his girlfriend who just so happens to be Sal’s sister. Whether he likes it or not, the truth will be revealed.

Warning: Smut ahead!

–––––––––––––––––––––––––

“Well, seems both Sal and Q have lost the episode.” Murr announces to the cameras with absolute joy that for once he wasn’t the one being miserably punished. Sal and Q nod their heads in defeat and chuckle out of fear of what awaits them on the stage beyond the curtain of the theatre they were stationed at for the day.

“Which means a double punishment is out there waiting for you guys.” Joe says with an equal level of glee as Murr.

“Can we just get to it now, I'm sweating buckets and I just wanna get this over with.” Sal says as he wipes his hands on the sides of his pants to rid his palms of the sweat that was building up.

“Okay, okay. Let’s get you guys out on that stage!” The two men are laughing as the other two did as they were instructed. There on the stage were two chairs. One of those chairs was next to a table filled with wires and equipment, the other had rope surrounding it. Sal and Q both look at each other with eyebrows raised in question of the curious set up. “Sal you will be taking the chair on the left, Q you get the chair on the right next to that machine we’ll get you hooked up to.” The minute he heard the phrase ‘get you hooked up,’ Q knew exactly what the boys had in store.

He complied without saying anything, it was a punishment after all and it’s not like he could evacuate or run away anywhere. He watched as Sal was sat in his chair and tied up good and well to it.

“Guys I thought this was a double punishment. Why am I just being tied to a chair and Q getting hooked up to a lie detector test? What are you gonna do? Ask him how many times he’s fantasized about fictional women while jacking off?” Sal laughs. Little did he know what the guys had in store for this special use of the lie detector test.

“So our buddy Q here has been dating Sal’s sister – (Y/N) – for quite a while now.” Joe said with a toothy grin on his face. They watched as Sal’s face dropped immediately to shock and disgust.

“So we’ve hooked Q up to a lie detector test and we’ll be asking him a few questions about their relationship.” Both Murr and Joe were laughing. “But wait! It gets better!”

“There’s only one audience member besides us here.” When the lights brightened slightly, rows of chairs could be made out now in their line of vision, and so could the one solitary audience member sitting front and center: (Y/N).

“That’s Sal’s sister!” Murr says with jubilation. You could watch the color completely drain from Sal and Q’s face.

“That’s right Sal, you have to look at your sister and your best friend as we ask all these questions and you have to hear the honest truth about it all no matter how dirty.” Sal was freaking out wanting to break free of the constraints that bound him to the chair. He was begging and pleading for anything else as the two winners of the episode were laughing at his fruitless pleas. Q had his face in his hands and his face was regaining its color in only a single shade. He was red as a fire engine knowing exactly where this was about to go. He lifted his head slightly to be met with the eyes of his lover. She sheepishly waved with a smile and he did the same.

“There’s no escaping or compromising a punishment Sal, you lost and this is what you get!” Sal had stopped thrashing and now had his eyes set on the ceiling staring off into nothing. “Let’s start with the first question!”

“Let’s start easy: Have you ever kissed her,” Q huffed as his eyebrows furrowed together. What a silly question, “With tongue?” And there was the searing bit and his expression was wiped clean off of his face.

~

It was early on in their dating days, they decided on a movie night at Q’s place. It was warm and cozy, intimate and serene. She had her head resting on his shoulder and his arm was wrapped around her, holding her in close so that he could be closer to each and every piece of her. Because they were together for only a short time at that moment, Q feared making moves as to not upset her and cause a rift between him and Sal. It was already hard enough getting Sal warmed up to them, it would make things worse if he accidentally made a move she wasn’t comfortable with and Sal would have even more reason to disapprove of what they had going on. So while he seemed relaxed, he was actually freaking out on the inside.

That’s when their eyes locked on each other, her hand was placed gently on his cheek as she smiled and started inching in closer. Her hand was moving in closer and he went with it, seeing as all the signals were there and he was given the green light. Their lips met and he could taste the popcorn on her lips, he went in for another, and another. She felt addicting, he loved it and wanted more. That’s when her tongue traced along his lips, he hesitated.

“Don’t be so stiff B. I know you want more.” She whispered against his lips. She was right, that’s when things started getting heated. He brought her onto his lap, she was then straddling him and their lips met with each other once again, parted and allowed their tongues to intertwine. He could taste her so much better and he knew he was in deep.

The rest of that evening was truly memorable.

~

“Y-yes.” He answered honestly.

“He’s telling the truth.” The polygraph reader spoke as he watched the readings carefully. Sal’s face contorted in disgust as laughter echoed through the theatre.

“Next question: Have you done it on Sal’s bed or in his house?” Q squeezes his eyes shut.

“Brian I swear, you better think long and hard about how you answer this. You have house sat for me many times. If you say yes.”

~

Sal was away on a comedy tour and to go visit his mom. Q was handed the responsibility to watch over his house and make sure that everything was kept clean. Sal stated that he didn’t mind if he stayed the night at his place if he ever drank or if he just felt like it, so long as everything was kept in proper order when he came back. That much Q could do. He never said anything about his girlfriend being over as well.

It started as it always did: chilling out in the living room. They were playing Mario Kart together and the competition was getting heated. Nothing made Q happier than having a girlfriend he could play video games with, especially competitively. Both of them already started playing a little dirty, bumping each other playfully, blocking their view of the screen during important jumps, and so on. They were having the time of their life until she took things a step further.

As they were on their second lap, she sat on Q’s lap and started circling her hips. Q had a hard time focusing on the screen now that something else began to catch his interest. She kept going and she could feel him starting to grow hard under her. He bit his lip to not moan and show weakness and focused as much of his attention on the screen as best as he could.

“(Y/N). T-that’s cheating. You play… Dirty.” She had her eyes on the screen and now added noises as she gyrated her hips.

In the end, Q crossed the finish line first and ended up winning.

“Well, B. Looks like you won.” She said with a devilish smirk on her face, “I guess you’ve earned yourself a prize.” She slithers down to her knees and settles between Q’s legs as he sits on the couch. She pulls down his pants along with his boxers as his member throbs in front of her eyes. Q’s lips are already parted as his breath hitches at the sight before him. She licks her lips and immediately takes him as far into her mouth as she could. He lets out a low groan as his eyes close to take in the sensation.

“Fucking hell baby.” He says as his hand goes to the back of her head as his hips start to work and fuck her mouth. He was already aching for release as she was grinding against him, so his inevitable end was already building up like a skyscraper. “(Y/N). Sweetheart. God. You’re gonna make me cum.” He was at the edge of absolute euphoria, he had control of her as he tangled his hand in her hair and guided her faster up and down his cock until he shoved her down and released in her mouth. “Swallow.” He commanded, and she did exactly that. All evidence of his climax gone. He pulls her up for a kiss before lifting her and allowing his feet to carry them to where he would now be staying for the night: Sal’s room.

~

“Do I really have to answer this one?” Q asked as he began sweating profusely as he remembered each sensation pertaining to his answer.

“Hurry up and answer! You’ve never had problems talking about your sex life before tough guy.” Joe criticizes.

“No.” A blatant lie and they all probably knew. This answer was proven false after the polygraph interpreter stated so. Sal was glaring at Q and Q dared not make eye contact at that moment.

“You guys have ravaged my house for a punishment before, but SEX in MY HOUSE?!?! Not only that but WITH MY SISTER?!” Q wanted nothing more than just to disappear.

“Next question. Oh this one's good!” Q closed his eyes again, bracing himself for the next question, “Had she ever called you daddy?” His cheeks felt like they were on fire now. “Not like how you refer to yourself when talking about your cats either. You know exactly how we mean it.”

~

The room was filled with the sounds of the bed frame squeaking and moans eliciting from open mouths along with steamy breath that stuck to their skin. Q was thrusting his hips roughly into her as she raked her nails down his back, leaving her own mark on him.

“You like that baby? Like when I fuck you hard?”

“Yes! Yes!” Her words felt like they were being forced out of her with each snap of his hips as he hit just the right spots to drive her crazy.

“Yes, what?” He asked her as he slowed to an agonizing pace. She wrapped her legs around him to try and speed things up, bringing him in closer despite knowing it wouldn’t do anything until that one word was uttered. “C’mon (Y/N). Let me hear it. Yes, what?” His hot breath fell in her ear and sent chills through her and she could feel her clit throb as she bit her lip and moaned at the authoritative tone.

“Yes daddy.” His hips picked right back up as the familiar sound of skin on skin began to echo once again in the room. “Fuck I love it when you fuck me like this. Harder. Please, daddy.” Each time she said it, it brought him closer and closer to climax.

“God I love when you call me that sweetheart.” He licked his thumb and began rubbing circles around her clit as he continued working his hips against hers. Whining as she felt her climax begin to wash over her, Q wasn’t that far behind as he began to grunt and moan with each thrust as he felt her tremble beneath him. “Gonna cum baby, you’re so perfect.”

~

Q wondered if the air conditioning in the place was even on. If it was, they needed to crank it if not his shirt was sure to be drenched in sweat by the time this punishment was over.

“Uuuh.”

“Not an answer buddy.” Q really didn’t want to answer this. He could feel Sal’s gaze boring holes into him. He knew how his best friend felt about his relationship which is why he never said a thing about their sex life like he had with previous relationships. He respected Sal that way and always made sure to treat his sister well. But the pickle he was in now was making this dynamic extremely difficult.

“I uuh.” He was choking on words. There was no sense in lying, but maybe, just maybe if he believed hard enough he could trick the lie detector into believing he was telling the truth. He took a breath, said over and over in his head that he was telling the truth, steadied himself, and “no.” He tried saying it with honest conviction.

“A lie.” Yup. He definitely wanted to crawl in a hole now. All three of the other men were hollering at the answer. Q looked at (Y/N) and she was just as red as he was but she was laughing. He wasn’t sure how she could be laughing at this moment, but for some reason it put him slightly at ease knowing that this wasn’t torture for her like it was for him.

“Okay last question Q.” Sal had been mostly silent for the last few minutes and Q just knew that Sal wanted him dead or something else. He was lucky there were restraints holding him back because god knows what would have happened if he wasn’t. Q was mentally bracing himself for something absolutely revolting that he would have to answer for, something that would really make Sal lose his mind. Dildos, sneaking off on tour together to have sex, road head, he was ready to answer for it and face the consequences. “Do you love her?”

~

It was early in the morning and sun peered through the windows of his house. As he opened his eyes, there she was. Her eyes closed and her breathing steady, all the cats were curled up around her and all were surprisingly still asleep as well. She was dreaming and he knew it. Seeing her so peacefully asleep made him happy. It wasn’t only that. It was knowing she was happily asleep in his bed, next to him that made his heart flutter and burst with joy. Waking up and seeing her was unlike anything he’s ever felt.

He crawled out of bed carefully. In the kitchen he began to cook up some breakfast for them and also to feed the needy little kittens. As he was at the stove, he heard her shuffle in. He looked over his shoulder and saw her, eyes hooded and still half asleep, a little smile tugging at her lips, hair covering most of her face. She was just the most beautiful person ever and he couldn’t think otherwise.

“Morning sunshine.” He says with a smile on his face, voice still groggy from waking up.

“Mornin’ B.” She made her way over and hugged him from behind, leaning on him as she closed her eyes, inhaling deeply smelling his morning musk and the food that was cooking. “Smells so good.” She mumbled. His heart was just exploding and he couldn’t stop smiling.

As they ate breakfast, she spoke most of the time and that was just how he liked it. He never tired of her voice, never tired of hearing her talk, never tired of being around her. She noticed the dopey look on his face as she spoke and she stopped and gave him a bit of a side glance and a smile.

“What’s with you this morning Bri? You’ve been acting all mushy. Not that I'm complaining or this is out of the ordinary.”

“I just like hearing you talk.” He said truthfully. “And it’s just–”

~

“–I love her.” He spoke with a smile on his face. “I really do. No doubt about that. There’s no one else I've been more in love with than her. Every part of her. Good and bad. I love her.” He looked her in her eyes, recalling each countless moment they’ve had with each other. Every time he was around her, he felt like a high schooler again. So bashful, so in love, hopelessly so. There was no one else for him.

“It’s all true.” The polygraph reader spoke with a smile. Sal looked at Q, then looked at his sister and saw them just entranced with each other. Hearing everything Q had to say was true made his anger quickly slide away. He wanted his friend to be happy, he couldn’t keep them apart. Despite thinking this was an absolutely terrible idea at the start, perhaps this changed things.

“That’s it Q. Interrogations over.” Both men were released from their punishment prisons and were left to face each other.

“So. You really love her, huh?” Q smirked as he felt the butterflies thinking about her again.

“More than you could imagine.” He said with confidence. He felt her arms wrap around him and he turned around to see her eyes sparkling like constellations at midnight. He wrapped his arms around her tight and gave her a kiss.

“Listen, I know i’ve been hard on you Q. Just protective of my sister y’know?”

“I get it, Sal. But I can promise you wholeheartedly that I’d never do anything to hurt her ever.”

“Might wanna hook him up to the lie detector again.” Joe said as he walked by. Q rolled his eyes.

“I know. I just want you to promise one other thing.”

“Anything.” Q leaned in attentively.

“I never wanna hear anything about your sex life ever again.” (Y/N) snickered as Q felt his face heating up in shame again.

“Deal.”

[maybege]

Work Song

Summary: You meet once again.

Pairing: hot dad!Boba Fett x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 4.2k

Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: explicit sexual content, dom/sub relationship, use of sex toys, dirty talk, consensual degradation and namecalling, multiple orgasms, double penetration, oral sex (m receiving), come play, sexting

When I was pondering which to post (bodyguard!Paz ord hot dad!Boba), I figured: why not both? So tonight I am serving you some delicious hot dad!Boba smut and tomorrow or Tuesday evening you will get the next part of The One! I am really excited to share this with you and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated and I hope you enjoy it!

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

Work was boring.

Or rather, it wasn’t boring but your thoughts kept drifting to much more exciting prospects. Like the next meeting at the motel.

Boba had messaged you that he had gotten scheduled for the midnight calls almost all through the next month and had suggested you meet on Fridays instead. But since Fridays were your yoga course days, and the only real opportunity for you to go out and meet new people and potential friends, that was not an option either. And so, you had remained on Saturdays - even if it meant he wouldn’t get to stay the night.

Even over the phone, you could see the reluctance he had to agree to it. (“I’d prefer if I could buy you breakfast the way I buy you dinner,” had been his exact words to which you had only smiled.)

So now it was Thursday, almost the end of the week, and you could not wait to get back home, to get to the end of the week and into the motel and, most importantly, to Boba.

With a groan, you let your head onto your desk in your cubicle. All around you, you could hear the tapping of the keyboards, people talking, phones ringing, the alarm of the printer going off when there was – once again – not enough paper there. Even sitting at your desk among a sea of people you never felt so alone.

“What are you thinking?” Nat, chewing a piece of gum, popped up on the wall of your cubicle, resting her chin in her hands. You flinched in surprise, looking up at her cheerful face. “Dreaming of mystery man from the bar again?”

If only she knew.

You smiled, “I, uh, I was just checking over these numbers again, I think I might have to start from scratch and ask marketing for the raw numbers.”

Nat popped her gum, clearly disappointed that you did not seem to share any details. “Well, Marketing really needs to get their shit together,” she grumbled, “I had to ask them for the full numbers – twice! – last week. can you believe that? Twice!”

“Now that I have them in front of me, it’s not that hard to believe,” you grinned, leaning back in your chair and looking up at her, “But that is not why you came to talk is it?”

“Well,” she sighed dramatically, sending you a wink, “Since you don’t let me live through your love life – you want to come for drinks this Saturday? Me and the girls want to check out a new restaurant in town, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“I’d love to but I already have plans,” you declined, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of whom you had plans with, “Maybe next time?”

For a minute, you were afraid that maybe she would be suspicious. That maybe she would keep asking you about Boba and you would have to dodge your questions.

But thankfully, Nat seemed to have completely forgotten all about your love life.

“Sure!” she perked up, throwing a look towards the kitchen, “Wanna do lunch together? I’m starving.”

You nodded, smiling when you heard her basically skipping her way to the kitchen from her cubicle. Grabbing your phone, you went to follow her.

*

Nat kept talking about one thing or another, completely oblivious to the internal fight you were just hashing out in your head.

Never had your phone looked more menacing.

You did not know when or how exactly but somewhere in the two minutes it had taken to microwave your food, a tiny little thought had manifested itself in your mind.

Boba had asked for your wishes the last time and you had been too nervous to think about them. But surely, with the safety of a screen between you, you would be able to articulate at least some of them?

Then again, would he even want that? After all, it was not Saturday and maybe he did not want to have that kind of contact out of your agreed meeting hours?

You tapped your fingernails on the table top before deciding to just fuck it.

You: I want you to fuck my mouth.

There. It was sent. It was done. You had half a mind to switch your phone off and never look at it again, you felt that embarrassed. But before you could do so you saw how the read notification popped up and now it was like a car crash you couldn’t look away from. Boba had seen it. It was too late now. Shit, what had you done?

Boba: So princess has some dirty wishes after all.

Boba: Any more things you want to try out?

You huffed out a laugh, shaking your head towards Nat who looked at you questioningly. “My friend just sent me something funny,” you waved off while making sure no one would be able to get a look on your phone screen.

Toys. you typed out, I’ve never got to try any and I want to try them all. Want you to use them on me.

Now I’m thinking about getting you a dildo, little one. Maybe even two. One for that tight little kissy and the other to train your mouth.

The implication made you clench your thighs and you took a deep breath, hoping no one would notice how you were almost squirming in your seat.

Lunch forgotten, your eyes were fixed on your phone as the three dots kept moving on the screen. You weren’t really sure if this counted as texting per se but you had never been this explicit with someone over texts and your heart skipped a beat as the next message appeared.

Boba: Does that turn you on?

You: Yes.

Boba: Where are you?

You: On my lunch break. Why?

Boba: Because if you’d been home I’m this close to take a half-day and fuck you silly in your own bed.

You shuddered, your thighs clenching.

I’m this close to going home sick if that’s what awaits me.

The read notification popped up but you saw how he wasn’t online anymore and frowned. You tried to avoid your thoughts of how maybe you had been too forward or too awkward or maybe he thought you were weird now for being willing to go home in the middle of the workday just to get in bed with him. But the truth was you were.

Work was boring today and while you appreciated Nat’s attempts to get talking, you didn’t really feel in the mood to talk. Besides, you knew she was just out to get more info about the bar mystery man as she called him and even though you liked her you really didn’t want to talk about Boba to anyone. So yeah, the thought of being able to go home and be able to feel Boba against you instead of going through the different numbers sounded like heaven to you.

Reluctantly, you got back to your pasta salad, aware that you only had a few minutes on your break left and trying to not spend them checking your phone constantly. How much more pathetic could you be?

“Ready?” Nat asked suddenly beside you as her friends got their dishes into the dishwasher and you nodded with a smile.

“Although when is one ever ready for work?” she asked, faking a British accent and you grinned, pocketing your phone in the pocket of your dress.

“Never,” you replied, “one can just hope it’ll be over soon.”

The dark-haired women turned to you with a conspiratory grin before twirling into her cubicle, leaving you alone to go back to your desk. You stood at the entrance of your cubicle for a moment, eyes roaming over the papers on your desk, ruined with your scribbling as you tried to decipher whatever numbers marketing had sent you.

You rubbed your hand over your face, forcing yourself to smile with the hopes that it would release endorphins or some shit. You could do this. There was no need to feel overwhelmed by this. What would be the first step to make this better?

Typing the email to Brenda from Marketing should not have been as hard as it was. But your mind was swirling with trying to find the right balance between polite and insistent because you could not afford to lose any more hours of work over something that simply could not be worked with.

Just as you were ready to give up, your phone pinged.

Boba: Sorry, business call. But believe me, little one, I can’t wait until this weekend. Would you be okay with me buying some toys for you?

You smiled, answer already ready.

*

“Shit, little one, you looked so good like that. You like that?”

You gasped for breath, eagerly nodding. A thin layer of sweat had built all over your body as you knelt on the end of the bed. You were so intoxicated by these feelings, by him, it felt like everything was on fire, getting ready to burst.

As soon as he had arrived – you being the first in the room this time around – he had framed your face in his hands and kissed you until you both been breathless. And then he had shown you the toys.

That was how you had ended up here, on the bed, completely naked, moving yourself on one of the dildos he had brought for you.

“Look at you, such a good girl for me, hm?” Boba murmured, his hands moving once again and you choked, tears stinging in your eyes from the effort of trying to relax your throat and keeping your hands behind your back as he had instructed.

Boba had not just brought one toy. He had brought two. And you while you were fucking yourself on one, thighs shaking with the effort, Boba had pushed the other down your mouth. “To train you to take me,” he had rumbled with a glint in his eyes.

A particularly hard thrust down your throat forced you lower on the shaft between your legs and you moaned, tears of pleasure and despair pricking your eyes. He was still completely closed, looking as dominant as ever and you could feel your clit and y our nipples aching wanting to be touched and played with.

You whined, drool slipping down your chin and Boba showed mercy, slowly pulling the toys away from your mouth. “What is it, little one?” he asked, “What’s got you all teary-eyed, hm ?”

“My – my nipples are so sensitive,” you pleaded with him, “Please, please touch them, Boba.”

He grinned darkly, running the tip of the dildo over your wet lips. “So, touch them.”

You shook your head as best as you could, wanting to remind him of the one rule he had set for you but then he pushed the toys back into your mouth. Your back arched as you leant forwards, humming when the dildo shifted inside you and even more so when your chest brushed against the rough material of his shirt.

It was like little pricks of pleasure coursed through you.

Boba looked down at you, the blue dildo still in his hand and you felt heat seep into your cheeks. From shame? Maybe. But all you felt arousal as you saw the admiration in hid ryes.

“How desperate you look,” he mused, his fingers holding your chin, “How pretty. Just for me.”

“Yes,” you gasped, mouth falling open as you sank down on the toys again, your nipples brushing over the harsh fabric, “J-just for you.”

“My pretty little fucktoy,” he smiled, leaning down and kissing you open-mouthed. You gasped into him, pleasure overtaking you and when his hand wandered down to your right nipple, pinching and pulling it sharply, you came. Everything in your body tightening before it felt like you were bursting at the seams, the sudden wave of pleasure making you whimper.

Where you had been so precariously balanced on top of the dildo, now you lost your balance, completely falling against him but Boba was there to catch you.

“Good girl,” he mumbled, his hand still squeezing your tit, “Think you have another round in you?”

Your eyes fell to the very obvious bulge in his pants and you nodded eagerly. Even with your legs still trembling from your orgasm, you were already carving more. More of this, more of him and the pleasure he could give you.

With calloused fingers gently wrapped around your forearm, he helped you up.

You followed willingly, letting him turn around until you were facing the bed, sheets messy where you had kneeled.

“I’m going to let you choose, little one,” he murmured into your ear, his warm body pressed against your back. You could hardly concentrate with your hands on your skin like that, one hand holding you by your throat while the other dipped between your folds. “Which toy do you want to fuck now?”

First, you were disappointed that apparently you did not get to fuck yourself on his cocks but then his finger swiped over your clit and you shuddered.

“Answer me, princess,” he growled, his hand slightly tightening on your throat, “Or are you too cockdumb already?”

“Nuh-uh,” you tried to shake your head just as much as your legs were shaking from the pleasure he was giving you. You tried to focus on the toys. The one you had used already and the one he had had you suck off. The blue one was glistening from your juices and your thighs clenched at the thought of having it inside you again.

But the other one, the purple one, was much thicker than the blue and you knew it was closer to what Boba’s cock actually felt like.

“The purple one,” you murmured, head leaning back against his shoulder and he mouthed at your neck, humming in satisfaction.

“You’re so kriffing sexy, you know that?” he whispered, planting a playful bite on your shoulders before leaving you alone in the middle of the room. You whined, pressing your thighs together as you saw him so meticulously prepare for what seemed to be the next scene he had had in mind.

With a soft towel spread on the floor in front of the armchair, Boba looked at you as he sat down, legs spread wide before planting the dildo on the towel. “I think good girls deserve a treat,” he murmured, working on his pants before getting his weeping cock out and you swore your knees were that close to giving out underneath you.

You gaped at him, practically falling on your knees with your hands placed on his thighs. The impact made a dull sound and your heart skipped a beat as he immediately leant forward, fingers gripping your chin as he searched your face for any sign of pain.

“I know you’re eager to suck my cock, little one,” he smirked, “But no need hurting yourself over it, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, feeling a little embarrassed for how needy you were being.

Boba smirked, leaning back in his seat but not before running the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip. Your eyes flicked down to his weeping cock, your mouth watering at seeing how a drop of precome had already collected at the tip.

Without thinking any further, you sank down on the dildo, mouth falling open at how it stretched you. You ducked down, closing your lips around his shaft and taking him as deep as he would go in one smooth movement.

Boba groaned loudly above you, one hand going to the back of your neck to keep you there. Just like your pussy, he filled your throat completely, your tongue feeling as if it was running out of space so you did your best to press it against the underside of him, wriggling along the prominent vein he had there.

Tears gathered in your eyes again and you moaned as the toy inside you hit a spot the previous one couldn’t. Your hips stuttered, slowly starting to grin against it in hopes of it hitting that spot again. You did not move your mouth from him.

“Fuck you look good like that,” he praised you, his free hand coming around your throat and you tried to swallow when you felt his thumb rub over the bulge in your throat. You had not even realized how far you had taken him but when you saw the grin on his face, his eyes glazed over in pleasure, you felt proud of yourself for making him feel like this.

Slowly he pulled you off his length and you followed, gasping for breath when you could. A trail of saliva connected you still to him and through your lashes, you looked up at him. Even now he was a sight to behold, jaw clenched, a glint in his eyes.

You would do everything to please him.

“Don’t think I can last long, little one,” he grumbled, lips twitching as he spotted how you still moved your hips, “Think you can come before that? Don’t want to leave you hanging.”

You nodded, rising on your knees again just like before and sinking back down, moaning when it hit that sweet spot.

“Good,” he smiled, warping his hand around his cock, “You can touch yourself how much you. Just want you to come for me, okay?”

“Okay,” you smiled, obediently opening your mouth to take him in again. Your fingers went to your clit, circling it to spread around the wetness that was already making its way to the towel. You gasped, hips jerking at the pleasure.

Boba groaned, rubbing the head of his cock along your tongue, precoma coating your taste buds. He pushed your head down again, quickly building up to a rhythm that had you choking and gagging, spit trailing down your chin, making you feel filthy and desired.

One hand came up to your chest, pinching your nipple and throwing you off the cliff. Your moan got interrupted by Boba shoving himself down your throat even more and you shook where you sat, your wetness coating the toy until all you could hear were obscene squelching sounds from between your thighs.

“Where did you want my come little one?”

“On my face, please,” you gasped.

A deep, guttural groan left him and you opened your mouth even wider, sticking your tongue out as your fingers played with your nipples. Hot roped of come splattered on your face, landing on your brows, your nose, your tongue, dripping down your chin and onto your chest. Boba continued pumping his shaft milking himself of every last drop and collecting it on his thumb before gently spreading it over your cheek.

“Did I do good?” you asked, heaving for breath.

“You were perfect,” he rumbled, scooping some of his come onto your tongue and you swallowed eagerly.

You shifted on your knees, wincing when the dildo moved inside you.

Boba leant down to you, his hand carefully holding you by the elbow as he stood up slowly, taking you with him. Your legs were shaking from the strain and your knees hurt from straightening them. You shivered.

A soft kiss was pressed to your lips and he led you back to the bed. The fabric was cool under your fingertips and you took a shaky breath. His warm hands were on your shoulders, thumbs brushing the skin as he looked down on you.

“Let me get you something to clean up, okay?” he murmured.

You nodded silently. He disappeared for a moment and you simply sat there, wringing your hands and trying to focus on your surroundings. Everything was fuzzy still, pleasantly warm from your orgasms but you also felt could now that it was over.

You heard the sink run in the bathroom and a moment later, Boba was in front of you again, a warm cloth in his hands that he gently ran over your face.

“Look up at me, little one,” he murmured and you did, closing your eyes as you tilted your face towards him. With gentle movements, he cleaned your face but you were too tired to smile. You felt drained but in a good way, like your limbs were too heavy from pleasure to really move and so you just let the feelings wash over you.

When he was finished, his hand came up to cup your cheek and you leaned into him.

Boba hummed, “Would you like to take a shower or a bath?”

“Bath, please,” you croaked, flinching as you heard how hoarse you sounded. Boba’s lips quirked up and he nodded. Slowly he guided you to the tiled bathroom, sitting you down on a towel at the edge of the tub before getting the water running.

You frowned, the rushing water almost too loud in your ears. Boba turned around, spotting you curling in on yourself and just like that he had you in his arms.

“It was a bit intense, wasn’t it?” he asked quietly, his lips brushing against your ears and you nodded, burying your head in the fabric of his flannel.

“I – I don’t know why I feel this way,” you whispered, “this … sensitive.”

“You’re coming down from a high, little one,” he explained, thumb brushing the back of your neck, “It’s normal to feel a little exposed. But I will make sure, you’re okay, okay? Anything you need, princes, you just tell me, yeah? Anything.”

“Okay,” you whispered, already feeling a bit better with him here.

You did not know for how long you stood there, but when the water shut off and Boba helped you in the tub you sighed in content. The water was just the perfect temperature and you sunk in with closed eyes, the only thing guiding you being Boba’s hands.

“I will get us some food, okay?” he asked quietly, sitting at the edge of the tub and holding your hand. You had never felt this cared for. “I will get us the same order as the last time, does that sound good?”

You nodded with a smile. He stood up but you held onto his hand, only letting go when the distance became too much. Stars, you were really fucked out good, weren’t you?

With your eyes closed in relaxation, you could only hear his low chuckle as he got ready to leave. The door to the room closed not long after. You soaked in the tub for what felt like an eternity. The water was warm and you were positively surprised by the scent of the motel shampoo. It certainly was not as bad as you thought it would be.

Slowly you felt yourself coming back to reality, feeling more energized and more awake and aware of your surroundings. Boba had not come back yet so when the water got a little too cold for your liking, you decided to get out anyway.

You got dressed in your nightgown you had taken with you – thankful that Boba had left it for you on the counter in a moment of foresight –, hurrying barefoot over the carpet into the bed.

Just as you turned on the TV, the lock of the door turned and a whistling Boba came in, arms laden full of brown paper bags.

“You got more than last time,” you stated, frowning as you saw him put down a second paper bag on the small TV desk.

“Well, I won’t be able to buy you breakfast tomorrow, now will I?” he replied, “Thought I could take care of that now and then you don’t have to worry about it tomorrow.”

“Oh really?” you asked, sitting up on your knees, not minding when the blanket fell down, so you could at least make an attempt to peer into the bag.

Boba chuckled, indulging you by handing you the mysterious food bag and immediately you took a peek. There, neatly arranged, was a croissant, a chocolate muffin and what looked like a little breakfast sandwich.

“I’d keep the sandwich in the fridge,” Boba commented from the other side of the room, already taking out the familiar smelling food containers. He did not seem to know how your heart swelled in your chest at the sweet gesture.

You knew he had wanted to be here for breakfast – he had literally told you so on the phone – but when it was clear that Saturday would remain your meeting day of choice, you thought he had just shrugged it off. Maybe it had just been a flirtatious remark?

But the fact that he had gone out of his way to somehow show you he had been serious about what he had said made butterflies appear in your stomach.

“It’s very sweet,” you murmured, looking at the way the muscles in his back moves as he fished for the plastic utensils, “You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to,” he replied easily, still smiling when he turned around and carried the food with him, “Now let me slip under that blanket, princess, what will we watch?”

You giggled, watching this giant man carefully position himself on the bed, before stretching out his arm, offering you the food to eat and his chest to rest against once again.

“I could get used to this,” you murmured, taking a bite of the pita.

“Me too, princess,” he rumbled, “Me too.”

[deadbiwrites]

a video of supergirl grabbing lena luthor's ass starts circulating and it's very embarrassing for sc but extremely funny to their friends

(I am SO sorry. Where do these hide? Why do I never see them? How long has this been here?!

Anyways, have some cute nonsense!)

The day starts like any other, honestly.

Like, sure, Kara’s never thrilled when she wakes up 20 minutes late and has to use superspeed to get through her morning routine and into the office on time, but it happens regularly enough that she’s just sort of used to it by now. Like, the sky is blue, the grass is green, she manages time poorly. Whatever.

But she does get to work on time, with just enough to spare that she can make a brief detour to Nia’s desk for the coffee her protege has already bought for her, thank her profusely (with perhaps minor promising of firstborn children), and slip into the morning meeting just as Snapper, James, and Lena start handing out assignments for the day.

“Well, well, good of you to join us, Ponytail. Let me guess, a family emergency kept you out all night again?”

‘I mean, that Abraxian wasn’t my family, technically, but someone’s family, so…’ “Something like that. Sorry.”

Lena catches her eye and quirks a brow in question, but Kara just shrugs easily and sips her coffee, pulling a silly face at her friend when Snapper’s attention moves away from her. When her eyes uncross, she can tell Lena is fighting not to laugh, eyes sparking with mirth as she bites her lip. Kara takes another sip of coffee, feeling a bit smug that she can get Lena to smile without even having to say anything to her. That’s real talent, right there.

Especially since Lena has to stand up at the front with James, who has been by turns cold, dejected, and surly toward her since their breakup (a big, real, final one) a few weeks prior. Lena had said that the whole thing was a mistake, that she should’ve never gone for it in the first place because she’d been right the first time- they’d had some chemistry, after all, but it certainly wasn’t compatible long-term. 

Which… Kara can certainly relate. Like, a lot.

Especially about the whole… James being kind of wounded about it part. That part had really sucked- when he’d done it with Kara, who he’d gone on like, a date with, it’d resulted in him deciding to become a vigilante. Rao only knows what he’ll do when it’s someone he dated on and off for over a year...

“Ponytail!”

Kara jumps, realizing too late that her wandering attention hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Yes, sir?”

Snapper rolls his eyes. “Great, now that you’ve stopped orbiting Saturn, you wanna go get that article started?”

Kara’s eyes widen slightly in a panic as she realizes that she has no idea what he’s talking about. “Uh…” Behind his back, Lena catches her eye and nods subtly. Thank Rao. “Yes. I super do.”

Lena snorts, James sighs deeply, and the meeting is adjourned.

**

“So what exactly am I supposed to be doing today?” Kara asks Lena as they stroll out of the conference room together.

“Well unfortunately for you, you have to interview a big-time CEO. You have a meeting scheduled with her in three hours.”

“You?” Kara asks hopefully.

“You’re very sweet,” Lena chuckles. “No, Elena Watts. She’s a real estate developer, and she runs a nonprofit organization for homeless youth. It’s one of the articles we’re doing for next month’s spread. Contrary to popular belief, Cat and I weren’t the only women with high-profile jobs in this city. ”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool! Have you met her?”

“Not personally, no, but I have donated to her charity- it’s a very good cause, especially the outreach they do with queer youth.”

Kara elbows Lena gently. “You’re such a softie.”

“Mmm, maybe. But if you tell anyone, you’re fired.”

Kara clutches a hand to her chest, feigning horror. “Why Miss Luthor, what a blatant abuse of power!”

Lena shrugs. “I’m a Luthor, darling, I have to keep up appearances somehow.”

“Ouch,” Kara laughs. “See you at lunch?”

“Only if lunch includes a milkshake- I have a teleconference with both boards today. Unless you feel like joining me?”

“Wow, well as fun as that sounds, I’m gonna go do literally anything else.” Her comms crackle to life, alerting her of a hostage situation downtown, and Kara sighs. So much for a work day. “Alright, well, I’m, um, gonna go… see what I can find on Elena Watts. Maybe over another cup of coffee at Noonan’s.” She widens her eyes a bit, trying her best to convey that she’s going to be on Super-duty for a little while.

Thankfully, Lena picks up on it and grins. “You just want sticky buns.”

“Lena, I always want sticky buns. They’re like, my second favorite thing to eat.”

“Oh? What’s the first?” Lena asks, voice just a bit lower than usual. 

Kara opens her mouth and closes it, flushing slightly as she averts her gaze and adjusts the laptop bag on her shoulder. Stuff like that has been happening more and more, and she’s not 100% sure what to do about it. Because on the one hand, it makes her stomach do flips and tie up in knots and makes her brain do this… staticky thing where nothing filters in or out, just a pleasant buzz of how funny and smart Lena is and how much Kara likes hanging out with her and being flirted with (because that’s definitely what’s been happening, even if neither of them is really ready to address it) and just generally looking at Lena.... who is currently biting her lip and grinning up at Kara, and that buzz makes her kinda dumb, which is just really unhelpful. But on the other hand, it’s also kinda awesome and Kara really enjoys it, and-

“Kara?”

She spaced out again. Crap.

“Um. What time are you free for lunch?”

Lena sighs, seeming slightly disappointed that Kara isn’t flirting back at the moment (and thank Rao Lena can’t read minds), but she smiles back easily enough as they step off of the elevator. “I should be done by two.”

Feeling emboldened, Kara turns so she’s walking backwards in front of Lena and grins. “It’s a date,” she says with a grin, ducking forward to press a quick “friendly” kiss high on Lena’s cheek. She whirls and jogs out the double doors, leaving Lena smiling exasperatedly after her.

**

It is genuinely baffling to Kara that people still commit crimes in National City. It’s not even an ego thing, really, since Kara tries to keep herself humble (even when she manages to wrap up a hostage situation within twenty seconds of arriving on-scene without injuring any of the criminals or damaging the building too badly). Like, yeah, she gets that there’s a certain element of crazies who just sorta gravitate to places with a local hero, the big-bads who have their own suits and geek-toys and abilities. Them, Kara gets. Kinda sorta. But the regular ones, who are armed with like, pistols? Or knives? Just regular man made stuff without even the benefit of magic or kryptonite or something?

Why? 

She’s sure that if she asked, Lena would have some sort of statistical thing about large cities and poverty and all sorts of other factors that would end up making Kara feel like a jerk for being uncharitable to the criminal element of her city, but at the moment she’s mostly too annoyed by the fact that she has to spend her weekdays chasing them around instead of chasing stories.

Once all the hostages are freed and the cops secure the scene, Kara departs, flying into the alley behind Noonan’s and changing into her regular clothes before she heads inside to do a bit of research before her meeting with Elena Watts in a few hours (just because she’d used it as a cover doesn’t mean it was a bad idea…). She finds her favorite little two-person booth tucked into a quiet corner, plugs in her laptop, and gets to work, asking the waitress to please keep both the coffee and the sticky buns coming.

She gets a surprising amount done by the time she needs to leave for the interview, having a good foundation for what she wants to write and who Elena Watts is.

Ms. Watts turns out to be a pretty nice lady around Eliza’s age, if a bit busy and distracted by the steady flow of people in and out of her office. She answers all Kara’s questions with aplomb, happy to elaborate on most every point and eager to draw attention to the rising issue of homelessness among children and teens in the US.

“When I was young, my dad lost his job at the auto plant. It was supposed to be a temporary layoff, but the factory never reopened. We ended up losing the house, and we lived so far from our extended family that staying with them wasn’t much of an option. We lived in our SUV for six months, sleeping at shelters every now and again, if we could find one that allowed families to stay together. We showered at the local YMCA. Five people and a dog, living and sleeping in an old station wagon- even now, it sounds ridiculous. Eventually, we got back on our feet, but I never forgot that. It was just six months, but it was- and remains- the scariest, most uncertain time in my entire life, and it shaped me in a lot of ways I didn’t expect. And there are kids and families who do that for years. I just want to help them the way I wish that someone had been able to help us.”

At the end of the interview, Kara thanks her profusely for her time and for sharing her story before hurrying off to CatCo to type up a draft for Snapper (“What’s wrong with you, Ponytail, why is everything you bring me sappy and sentimental?”), which she finishes an outline of just in time to send it off before running to Big Belly and L-Corp for lunch with Lena.

She greets the newest in a series of secretaries (Anna? Amy? Ava? Lena’s really missing Jess, these days, but from what she’s told Kara, Jess is kicking butt in her new role as VP of Operations and will probably take over for the COO when he retires in a few years), and the girl waves her in distractedly.

And that’s when Kara’s day goes from normal to not, because inside the office are two masked men holding a stone-faced Lena at gunpoint on her balcony and demanding… something, probably. Kara’s a bit distracted by the loaded gun aimed at Lena’s head.

“Hey!” she yells, attracting both their attention. They whirl on her and Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, and Kara suddenly realizes three things- 1) she’s in her Kara Danvers clothes, not the supersuit, 2) she can’t speed into the suit now that they’re both looking at her, and 3) she has no plan.

Crap.

“Who the hell are you?!” one of them demands.

Kara… doesn’t have a good or snappy answer for that, and instead does the only thing she can think of- she throws the large milkshakes she’s carrying at them as hard as she can.

Which, in retrospect, is too hard, apparently because while yes, it is both funny and gratifying to see two grown men get absolutely leveled by a tasty dairy treat to the face, the one closest to Lena manages to elbow her in such a way that she falls backwards over the rail with an instinctual scream that makes Kara’s heart fly into her throat. She whips off her glasses, and by the time she’s out the window and speeding toward Lena’s flailing form, the suit is materialized. She gets under Lena, catching her carefully and dropping a bit further before slowing down (because she’s been made aware that when she doesn’t, the people she’s saving may as well be hitting the pavement), finally coasting to a stop about 20 feet from the ground.

Lena’s face is screwed up in a forced sort of focus, her hands clutching tightly at Kara’s shoulders and cape as she holds her breath.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks quietly.

Lena swallows thickly and nods, eyes still firmly closed. “I’m alright. Thank you- I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure how to get out of that one.”

“What was that? What did they want?”

Lena cracks an eye open. “Oh. you know, just my quarterly assassination attempt. I think my mother was starting to miss me, so she wanted to reach out.”

Kara snorts. “That really shouldn’t be funny.”

“Maybe not, but here we are.” Lena shifts a bit in Kara’s arms, cheeks a bit flushed from the adrenaline rush, and clears her throat. “Not to be rude, Supergirl, but do you think that perhaps we could continue this conversation… on the ground?”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, sorry. I forgot we were, uh, flying.”

Lena chuckles as they ascend slowly back up to her office. “You forgot you were flying?”

Kara shrugs with an easy smile. “I guess you have that effect on me.”

Lena huffs a laugh against Kara’s neck, eyes squeezed shut again. They alight on the balcony, finding the two men still unconscious, covered in Kara and Lena’s lunch. Lena sighs as Kara sets her down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What a mess.”

“Yeah, sorry, I sorta… panicked.”  

“I was so looking forward to a milkshake too…” Lena laments playfully.

“Well, then I have good news and bad news,” Kara says. She reaches out and gently wipes a bit of her own chocolate shake from Lena’s cheek with the pad of her thumb, tucking it into her mouth on instinct to get a taste of it. “The good news is, you do, in fact, have some shake on you!”

“Whats the bad news?” 

“Also that you have some shake on you.” Kara laughs, gathering the two men in her arms and hefting them a bit so they’re easier to carry. “I’ll get you another one. Be right back.”

She drops the men at the police station with a brief explanation before flying back into the office. Lena hands over her discarded glasses with a wry grin.

“I figured you’d need these before the police arrive.” She’s putting on a brave front, but she’s clearly still more than a bit rattled, if her too-bright eyes and thundering heartbeat are anything to go by. Kara steps closer and opens her arms in invitation, and Lena doesn’t hesitate to step into them. “Thank you,” Lena says fervently, tucking her face into Kara’s shoulder and wrapping her arms tight around Kara’s waist. 

“Always,” Kara promises, daring to press a reassuring kiss to Lena’s temple (and getting a bit of Lena’s strawberry shake for her troubles) before wrapping her up even tighter in her arms. “Are you actually okay?”

“I mean, my fear of heights has been reaffirmed,” Lena jokes, “but aside from that, I’m not hurt.”

“Good. I don’t like, love people pointing guns at you. Just so you know.”

“I’m not a fan either, for the record,” Lena drawls, burrowing even closer. “Even though I know you’ll save me, it still puts a damper on my day.”

Kara huffs a laugh. “Same.”

They stay like that for a few minutes, until Lena’s calmed down enough to stop shaking and calls her assistant (Audra, apparently) in, telling her what’d happened and that the police would be arriving shortly to take her and Kara’s statements, and please advise the security team to let them up discreetly. After the cops arrive, it’s a blur of questions, and Kara has to concentrate on telling the story of how she’d panicked and thrown the milkshakes at the men, and one of them had knocked Lena over the balcony (all true), and Kara had yelled for Supergirl, who had knocked the men out on her way to Lena (also technically mostly true. Technically. Mostly.). The police are sure to tell Kara that next time, she shouldn’t throw things at people with guns, and also to tell them both how lucky they are that Supergirl had shown up when she did.

“She’s always there when I need her,” Lena agrees, throwing a sly wink over the officer’s shoulder at Kara.

Kara just shakes her head and smiles. Even almost dying isn’t enough to make Lena not flirt with her. The woman is truly a marvel.

Kara’s comms crackle again, accompanied by Alex’s custom ringtone on her cell, and after assuring the police that she has no issue with giving another statement if they need her to later, hurries over to the DEO (making a quick stop in the back alley to change into her suit).

**

When Kara arrives, she’s told that J’onn and Alex are waiting for her in the Directors’ offices. She makes her way there, waving to the agents and scientists she knows. But it’s very weird, because every time one of them sees her, they start giggling before quickly hurrying off in the opposite direction. Like, literally everyone is whispering and pointing and giggling, and it’s giving Kara such visceral flashbacks to high school that it’s all she can do to not check her cape for a taped on sign that says ‘Kick me’ or ‘Freak’.

(Kids are mean.)

By the time Kara gets to her destination, she’s fully paranoid, sure that someone’s playing a prank on her, somehow, and that everyone but her is in on the joke. She opens the door with more force than intended and catches it just before the handle puts a hole in the wall, throwing Alex and J’onn a sheepish smile. She closes the door extra gently and leans against it heavily. J’onn and Alex just stare at her, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“Busy day, Supergirl?” Alex asks, and after half a lifetime of spending time with her, Kara recognizes that she, too, is trying not to laugh. 

Kara’s had enough. “Okay, do I have something on my face? Or on the suit? Is someone messing with me?”

J’onn’s brow furrows. “No.”

“Then what’s the deal? Why is the entire DEO like… laughing at me? Did someone accidentally vent the lab fumes out into the main hub again?”

“No.”

“Did someone see me crash into that billboard last week?”

J’onn’s frown deepens. “What?”

“No,” Alex answers.

“Then why is everyone laughing at me?!”

“I mean, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because of that,” Alex muses, nodding toward the big TV on the wall beside Kara.

She steps back to watch the news coverage of her dealing with the hostage situation this morning and frowns. “What, those guys? That was routine, what’s so funny about tha-”

“No, no, not that. That,” Alex clarifies, cranking up the volume.

“...reports are saying that the CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor, experienced an attempt on her life early this afternoon. Sources claim that she fell from a considerable height-”

“Hey, she was pushed,” Kara corrects.

“Shh!”

“...caught by Supergirl, who may have gotten a little… familiar with her.”

And there’s a video (clearly recorded on a cell phone but not the worst quality Kara’s ever seen) of Kara catching Lena and slowing to a stop above the sidewalk, of them talking quietly, of Kara’s hand definitely on Lena’s-

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Alex drawls, clicking the TV off with relish, a large, evil-big-sister grin spreading across her face. “Congratulations, Supergirl- the world just watched you grope Lena Luthor’s ass.”

“But I’m not- I wasn’t groping, I was catching! My hands weren’t… If it was groping, I’d be all up on her, and I wasn’t!”

“Camera begs to differ. It’s already trending on Twitter in National CIty.”

Kara puts her head in her hands and groans. “Why?! I was trying to save her!”

“You were definitely trying to save part of her,” Alex agrees. “Granted, it’s a very nice part...”

Kara’s head pops up, and she shoots Alex a look that’s between a pout and a glare. “You’re not helping.”

Alex feigns confusion. “Am I supposed to be helping?”

“Alright, enough,” J’onn cuts in before Kara can retort. “We just wanted you to be aware. I don’t think that this is going to be taken for anything more than it is- a humorous moment in the middle of a successful rescue. You shouldn’t worry about the press.”

And truth be told, Kara isn't worried about the press- she’s worried about the fact that she’s going to have to face Lena after this. Lena, who she knows for a fact has google alerts set for herself, Kara Danvers, and Supergirl, a gesture which is normally actually sweet and kind but is right now definitely gonna bite her in the-

“Okay! So, is that all?”

Alex blinks, looks over at J’onn, and shrugs. “I mean, yeah. Try not to make a habit of groping your crush when you’re in the suit.”

“I wasn’t groping her-”

Alex grins. “So you admit you have a crush? Interesting…”

“Alex!”

**

J’onn’s prediction is mostly right- no one seems to be taking the shots of her grabbi- saving Lena as anything other than a funny blip of a moment in their coverage of it.

He was wrong about the sheer scale. The clip had gone totally viral in a matter of hours, and seemingly every major network in the country has run the clip at least once as a bit of filler-fluff, and almost every major network anchor (including the ones at CatCo, the traitors) has made at least a passing joke about Supergirl being ‘Super-Handsy'.

Which means that Kara is very late getting back to Lena’s office with replacement food. But like, she’s been busy, okay? It’s not like she’s avoiding Lena, or something, because she’s embarrassed- which she isn’t, because she didn’t do anything bad or wrong and-

Anyways, it’s well past sunset by the time Kara gets to Lena’s office door again. She hesitates outside it for just a moment before shouldering the door open and knocking tentatively.

Lena’s attention jerks from whatever she’d been absorbed in to Kara, and a relieved smile blooms across her face. “Hey there.”

Kara finds herself equally relieved to not experience a repeat performance of earlier scary situations. “Hi,” Kara says, unable to resist smiling back. She raises the bags and cup carrier. “I bring grease and milkshakes. Again.”

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” Lena says, rolling her chair away from her desk and rising into a deep and probably much-needed stretch. Kara very determinedly does not stare at the slight sliver of soft tummy that appears between her blouse and skirt at the motion. “I’ve been staring at this screen for several hours. And Sam called to yell at me- she says hello, by the way- she and Ruby are in town next weekend.”

“Good!” Kara crosses the room to the couch as Lena does, easily spreading out the veritable buffet of fast food she’d brought over the coffee table. “I mean, not good that she yelled at you, or that you’re still at work, Miss Luthor,” she says pointedly, receiving only an unapologetic shrug in response. “But good that, um-”

“I get it,” Lena chuckles, resting a hand lightly on Kara’s knee and boy, if that doesn’t make Kara’s brain go fuzzy and dumb again… “Thank you, for checking in.”

“Of course I was gonna check on you, Lena,” Kara huffs. “Plus, I know you probably didn’t get lunch, so…”

Lena hums around a mouthful of burger, chewing until she can politely speak again. “Well it’s delicious. Did you make it yourself?” she teases with a sly grin.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Slaved away over a hot stove for this- I just wrapped it in Big Belly wrappers so you wouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“Very clever.” Lena pops the lid off of her milkshake and drags a fry through it (an advanced culinary delicacy Kara had horrified her with initially but had eventually become a bit of a guilty pleasure). “Although I have to say, traditionally you’d have to buy me dinner before you grabbed my ass.”

Kara chokes on a pickle. “Oh no,” she groans, dropping the burger onto the wrapper on the table and dropping her very red face into her hands as Lena laughs beside her. She peers out from between her fingers. “I am so sorry, I was just worried about you hitting the pavement and like, catching you in the least jarring way and I wasn’t paying attention to where my hands were and I didn’t even notice until I got back to the DEO and-”

“Well I have so say, I feel a bit offended that you didn’t even realize you were copping a feel...” When the only response is another groan and a deep flush spreading from Kara’s neck to the tips of her ears, Lena relents. “Kara, Kara, it’s fine!” she laughs, pulling Kara’s hands away from her face and giving them a grounding squeeze. “Nia’s been sending me memes about it all day, which has improved my mood significantly. On the grand scale of fallout from assassination attempts, this one was at least funny.”

“I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but all it makes me wanna do is wrap you in bubble wrap forever,” Kara informs her.

“Pass on that. But seriously, don’t worry about it- I know it wasn’t on purpose- unfortunately for me, you’re too noble to do something like that,” Lena laments playfully.

And whether it’s the knowledge that Lena is not, in fact, upset, the overall weirdness that has been this day, or this delicious burger fueling it, Kara feels a bit emboldened. “Hey Lena…”

“Yes?”

“What if I wanted to grab your butt? Just, y’know, as a hypothetical. For future reference.”

Lena quirks a brow at her, fighting a smile as she contemplates this. “Hmm. Strictly hypothetically?”

Kara scoots a bit closer on the couch. “Sure.”

 “Well, you’ve already bought me dinner…”

“And lunch, technically. Even if I gave it to the bad guys.”

“True. Plus you saved my life, so that gets you some points, probably.”

Kara pauses in her sly scooching. “Oh, hey, wait, no, that’s not-” 

“Kidding, Kara. I know you’d never use that to your advantage. I, however, have determined that strong moral fibre and nobility do, in fact, earn you more points, which is my choice on the matter and you get absolutely no say in it.”

“Oh. Um, alright, I think.”

Lena stares off into the middle distance, tapping her forefinger thoughtfully against her chin. Finally she shrugs. “Yes, I think you’re fulfilled the prerequisites for a bit of grab-ass today.”

Kara snorts, Lena laughs, and soon enough Kara takes her up on the offer.

**

“Hey Kara, remember that time you grabbed Lena’s ass and it made international news?” Nia asks around a mouthful of mushu pork.

“You mean last week? Yes, I remember,” Kara drawls. Beside her/halfway sitting on her lap, Lena snorts.

“That was the best.”

Alex glares. “Um, excuse you, no. No it was not. I had to sift through so much thirsting over my sister on like, every social media platform. It was the worst day of my life.”

Brainy’s brow furrows. “Surely that cannot be correct, Alex. Statistically speaking-”

Alex holds up a hand, cutting him off. “Trauma can’t be measured, Brainy.”

Kelly chuckles and presses a consoling kiss to Alex’s cheek, and it makes the tough agent melt into a doe-eyed puddle of mush that Kara snorts. And she says they’re gross... Kara sneaks a glance at Lena from the corner of her eye, and she catches Lena looking at her. She leans close and jostles her gently as she drops her head onto Lena’ shoulder. “We’re never gonna live that down, are we?”

“Probably not.”

“We have the worst friends.” When this elicits nothing but a chuckle, Kara tips her head back to see Lena still looking at her, a soft smile playing at her mouth and shining in her eyes. And like, this whole thing they’re doing is new, with the kissing and the actual dates and the... everything else. But the thing where Kara catches Lena looking at her and she doesn’t look away? That freakin’ knocks her out, every single time. “Hey,” she manages.

Lena grins down at her. “Hi.”

So yeah. Maybe the initial circumstances weren’t ideal, and she doesn’t love the mockery that’s been heaped upon her by all of her friends and loved ones (including Winn, who’d sent a missive from the future that literally just said ‘LOL’). But the fact is, Kara muses as she surges up just enough to kiss the corner of Lena’s mouth, that she doesn’t regret a thing.