#it doesn’t work

[pollyharp]

Had a headcannon that Lloyd had an incident log for anytime him and his friends cause chaos (im sorry)

📓 TEAM INCIDENT LOG: Compiled by Lloyd Garmadon, Reluctant Archivist

(“Because someone has to record this nonsense.”)

⸻

INCIDENT #0024

Date: Unknown. Time is meaningless now.

Who: Kai

What happened: Tried to warm up leftover noodles with his hands. Caught them on fire. Ate them anyway. Claimed it added “texture.”

Damage: 1 bowl, 4 napkins, Jay’s hopes.

Witness notes:

• Zane: “The noodles were glowing.”

• Jay: “He said they were ‘elementally toasted.’ I’m calling the Food Crimes Unit.”

⸻

INCIDENT #0073

Who: Jay

What happened: Built a device called “The Snackapult.” It worked. Then it worked too well.

Result: Cole took a granola bar to the jaw at supersonic speed. Temporarily forgot the alphabet.

Notes:

• Jay now banned from inventing things with the suffix “-apult.”

⸻

INCIDENT #0132

Who: Nya & Kai

What happened: Attempted to fix the hot water system. Summoned a sentient elemental steam creation named “Gerald.”

Status of Gerald: Now lives in the vents. Occasionally hisses encouragement.

Cole: “Gerald told me to believe in myself yesterday. I cried.”

⸻

INCIDENT #0209

Who: Zane

What happened: Ran a “politeness training” program for the others. Accidentally triggered martial arts aggression conditioning.

Outcome: Everyone thanked each other while trying to fight. Jay cried because Kai complimented his punching technique.

Zane’s note: “Glitches aside, this was emotionally healthy.”

⸻

INCIDENT #0220

Who: Frank (Wu’s lightning chicken)

What happened: Perched silently on the training dummy for 45 minutes. Then summoned a lightning bolt with his mind.

Damage: Training dummy obliterated. Kai’s eyebrows singed.

Jay: “I think he knows secrets we were never meant to learn.”

[dearru]

atsumu miya who has the biggest crush on you and makes a private story with ONLY you on it so he can post thirst traps to get ur attention

[curiouslymyown]

Prince Regulus and his knight-in-shining-armour James Potter, however Regulus is usually the one saving James

[valewritessss]

Headcanon that Percy shows Annabeth the Home Alone movie because he thinks she would like the traps and all that but he forgets about the spider scene and it nearly puts Annabeth into a coma

[monstersholygrail]

Guys, getting blackout curtains is too dangerous. The darkness is too powerful and my sleep deprived body is too weak to fight back!!! I have lost to its attacks and… overslept 💀

[softaestluv]

Me staring at my friends when we’re at the club and I’m three drinks in and I’m trying to act like I’m listening to what they’re telling me and not thinking about the 12 new Simon Riley tik tok edits I liked

[dragonflight203]

And then there’s Mad Hatter: “Oh Alice, why not brew some tea and snuggle up in here with me?”

Batman: “You need help, Jervis.”

Mad Hatter: “If you want to help then why so callous? Join me, Batman, be my Alice.”

The real reason why Batman ‘retires’ after Arkham Knight is in hope his rogues will stop hitting on him.

[ronnykins-needshelp]

Introducing….

🌟 Airplanes Mediocre cooks 🌟

This is a show where average human beings compete for the grand prize. Yes. Average. Why? We don’t know it’s still up and it’s been 19 seasons.

Of course it’s filmed on a plane, why wouldn’t it be?

Everyone eats it up though.

Especially now when their new shizun [ that’s what they started calling the hosts ] is ruthless and scolding. He expects perfection. His actor name was Shen Qingqiu, real name Shen Yuan. He also often berates the host [ Shang Qinghua ] often who runs like a hamster so despite the ruthlessness he’s always invited back becuase he brought the views up even more.

For the 20th season special they invited influencers of the age that are average cookers!

The list is of a bunch of influencers that can either not cook or barely cooks enough to be average.

Except Luo Binghe of course.

He’s a cooking influencer.

How is he even here?? We also don’t know but Shen Qingqiu is furious becuase he knows. Or maybe for another reason??

The first episode has Liu Qingge managing to fight with a fire he caused. Luo Binghe pretending to be incompetent. Gongyi Zhao happily minding his own business. And Liu Qingge somehow winning.

It goes on and despite Luo Binghe feigning incompetence he gets to the last round, let’s say mobei jun is the last contestant.

Do he goes all out on the two foods and Shen Qingqiu is complaining about how he could have used all that knowledge previously.

But then Binghe straight up proposes to him.

And yah that’s it.

Imma make this into a fic lmao bc I find this funny as fuck

[thatsbelievable]

[idonotbitemythumbatyou]

[person4924]

i drank water and it didn’t automatically solve all my problems. you are all lying.

[inamindfarfaraway]

I’m cooking up a Stephcass (hey, why is it not Cassteph?) Tangled AU and I had the great idea to change the magic from sun-derived healing to star-derived clairvoyance. Because Bats = night, but mostly because I can connect it to both Queen Babs (she can be a literal oracle in the backstory as a treat) and adopted Princess Cass (giving her enchanted vision so she can still predict people’s actions), and it ties into the whole story’s themes of truth and perception, with Cass’s arc being all about seeing the truth of herself and her reality. So it works perfectly!

Except that. If there’s no healing power. How does Steph come back? I know healing could be a secondary power, but it feels jarringly separate and makes the magic less precise. Like, my current idea is that the Starlight Flower heals baby Cass purely because it passes on a fragment of a bright, life-giving star’s power, energy and vitality. Healing isn’t an active ability it has, just a passive one-time effect. And Cass being gifted at healing others from the start would undermine her initial self-image of ‘living weapon who can only hurt people’, which is essential to her character, since she’s been raised by David Cain and is not doing well.

[breannasfluff]

Just finished a Jason taking care of baby Damian at the leave fic (Across the Sands) and I don’t know what to DO with myself. I need that relationship for them.

[no-brain-just-good-omens]

can’t wait to get on testosterone so i can finally serve so much cunt

[sum-katpiss]

Don’t we love when there’s so many fires in your area that they send a provincial emergency alert out?

[goldensunset]

the love hate relationship between me and n’s b2w2 battle theme (and battle in general). on the one hand i think thematically there are so many direly out of character aspects to it. on the other hand