#it’s well after midnight and I should be sleeping but here I am yearning for Joshua again 😭

[losfacedevil]

Imagining a lazy day just in the yard with Josh. He’d been MIA for the majority of the morning, a whisper of yard work falling past his lips in the early hours of the morning. You’d busy yourself with your latest project, not wanting to get out of bed just yet.

He’d sneak into the house, collecting a charcuterie board of sorts, placing it just outside the door on the patio table before coming to find you. Pushing your crochet project off your lap and wrapped his hands around your wrists to pull you to stand. He’d lead you outside, a child like grin kissing his lips as he pointed to the yard and reveled what he’d been working on.

The tent he would use when you would go camping was set up in the middle of your yard, all of your favorite comfortable bits spread out in it. A smile would spread across his face as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, burying his nose in your hair.

“I figured you could use a low maintenance camp out, hell, we both need it.”

Your heart would swell, turning in his grasp to wrap your arms around him. Hiding your face against his shoulder you’d pull in a deep breath, one laced with a scent that was just him as you willed away the tears that pricked your eyes.

[winterandwords]

(very chonky) Word Find Tag

I've been tagged in a bunch of these over the last few days while I was AFK, so I'm combining them into one big post because my queue is getting lemgthy today. Here are the tagfriends and the words they gave me...

@oh-no-another-idea: help, fortune, circus, and clock @words-after-midnight: dream, break, poor, light, yearn(ing) @zmwrites: try, search, secret, and type @kaiusvnoir: home, grass, pass, and stop @indecentpause: except, inside, away, even, and water

Thanks, friends! These are all from Bridge From Ashes...

HELP

I try to sort through hazy memories of different guys. Most were some degree of my type and at least half weren’t the kind of person anyone would want asking about them, so I’m not going to be narrowing this down without help.

FORTUNE LUCKY

His eyes flash dark, pupils dilating, and his limbs strain against the grips. It looks like an electric shock, but it's not. It’s a collision of raw emotion and instinct ripping through his body and brain. I guarantee he’s never felt anything like it and, if he’s really lucky, he’ll never feel anything like it again.

CIRCUS SHOW

I should have had some time off before being back here again, before starting the job I don’t want and having to join the department I belong in even less than where I was stuck before. I should have, but the Authority aren’t big on time off. When it suits them they make a show of giving a fuck, but behind the facade, they care about us even less than we care about them. Me, I mean. Even less than I care. There goes the collective terminology again.

CLOCK

Two more nights in a room where I can hear someone else’s breathing and sometimes I can even sleep. Still, four o’clock drags me silent-screaming from a dream I only remember in terms of emotion far beyond what I’m capable of when I’m awake.

DREAM

Until I wake like a bomb, legs tangled in blankets I don’t remember pulling around me, with no lingering trace of dreams beyond fear and anger and a burning need to destroy something.

BREAK

They might be happy, on their way to somewhere they want to be. Perhaps the world hasn’t chewed them up until they kicked back from the inside, breaking its teeth and climbing out through the shattered edges. Or, for all I know, it has and they’re as fucked up as I am.

POOR

“Poor unappreciated you,” he laughs without smiling. “You have to break yourself worse than anyone else can break you to prove absolutely nothing to absolutely no-one.”

LIGHT

His door’s already open and he doesn’t even pretend to be in the middle of something. He’s just waiting for me. There are too many lights on in here. It looks lived in. Offices should not look lived in.

YEARN(ING) CRAVING

I arrive at Subomnia with a vicious craving for whiskey and distraction, anything to obliterate the day and paint over the memories threatening to drag me back to somewhere I don’t want to go.

TRY

There’s a fleeting moment when I wonder what surprise will look like in his eyes and if he’ll try to speak before he realises he can’t.

SEARCH

“They’re custom-made, expensive. Your other weapons aren’t. Were they a gift? Or a payment?” I search for the right way to explain. “They were an obligation. My boss’s boss had them made for me because he wanted to watch me use them.”

SECRET

“I never thought about it.” Why did I never think about it? What else did I never think about? “We’re all someone’s well-kept secret, Rafe.”

TYPE

He looks at me, then at Freyja, then back at me. “You and her a thing?” “Me and nobody’s a thing.” I’m staring at his hands when I answer. “She’s not my type, like that.”

HOME

And I walk home because the feeling of my feet on the ground reminds me of who I am and what I’m part of. It doesn’t feed into the convenient delusions of grace and tidiness that run like poisoned blood through the arteries of a city that gets harder and harder to look at every day.

GRASS

Got nothing at all for this one. Couldn't even thesaurus my way through it.

PASS

My stomach churns and I reach for what’s left of the whiskey I wasn’t meant to steal and bring back here yesterday, abandoned next to the couch I passed out on last night. The bottle’s empty. They usually are come morning arrives, but hope springs eternal.

STOP

“You couldn’t look away?” He stops and so does time. “I still can’t.”

EXCEPT

I tilt my hands enough that I don’t risk cutting him when I retract the blades. He grips my wrists tighter and uncrosses them so there’s nothing between us except the potential of what he’s waiting for me to say.

INSIDE

And I think that’s what I needed to hear. All the darkness, all the shit, all the fucked up mess no-one can fix, inside my head and outside of it, but she looks happy. Even though she isn’t, not really. And maybe so do I, even though I’m not either.

AWAY

This has the power to trigger a sensory memory so strong that it wipes away years and for a couple of seconds, I’m back in Gillen’s apartment, sitting in front of his screen, drinking coffee. For half a breath, I haven’t lost him yet and it’s almost worth the hollow ache when the hit levels out and I remember where I am.

EVEN

I will the words to come out, but there’s still nothing. My knuckles press themselves into the rough carpet and grind against it until the skin wears raw. It’s not even my skin. They’re not my hands. My hands are somewhere else. My hands are lost. My hands are a pile of ash.

WATER

Then she turns her attention past me to Pascal. “It was lovely to meet you. I’m sure we’ll see each other again before you move on.” Pascal smiles at her like he’d drink her bathwater. “I hope so.”

This is another OPEN TAG, so if you're seeing this post and would like to take part, the words to search your WIP for are call, cold, can't, and crack. Don't forget to @ me so I can read and reblog your post 💜

[lvnatiq]

Modern!au Felix Escellun x tattoo artist!gn!reader | Headcanons

a/n: Hey!!! I’m back at it again with my beautifully fucked up request fill. I’m still working on three other things, while I make you wait I took it upon myself to not starve this fandom. So here you have it. Please reblog or comment so that I have a crumb of motivation to keep up.

Should I do a smutty pt. 2 ? Who knows lmao.

Your hand slipped through the pile of designs that your colleague (and your close friend) had sent you to choose and pick apart from.

Unfortunately you were spending the night at the beautiful library of your uni, trying to balance off your school work with your actual work.

You didn’t mind spending your time under the faint scent of books and the mere sound of wood beneath you feet, but what you ‘do’ mind is the fact that the library is way colder than you thought it would be after the midnight.

Good thing that the yearning for finishing your work and leaving as soon as possible made it easier to concentrate on the task at hand.

It also made it easier for you to not notice the presence of an unexpected company.

That was until you felt the warm floral yet musky scent invade your senses as you felt the weight of cotton drape around your shoulders.

You slowly turn your head towards the owner of the coat who’s already making their way out. Desperately trying to find a way to make them stop but failing to raise your voice because of the circumstances.

The last picture of the person buried in your head was their hair caressed by the wind and their quick steps.

Fast forward to a week later, going completely out of luck with finding a place to stay you decide to ask help from your friend whom interestingly has a lot to offer.

With things going a lot smoother than you expected you stopped by the tattoo shop to finish your appointments with couple of customers before you left to meet up with your possible candidate.

“Don’t bother I’ll just call him here so you could talk comfortably.”

Your work seemed to take a lot longer than usual. So you kindly accepted your friends offer as you wrapped up the leftover stuff, finishing up the last customer.

“Hey, oh-“

The sight of your guest tickled your memories as you kept glaring at the glorious figure in front of you.

Felix, completely avoiding eye contact, placed the fallen hair strand behind his ear as he kept his eyes on the table of the tattoo equipments.

You quickly got up as you grabbed his coat from the hanger and walked back where you left him.

“Thank you for the coat, you really saved me back there.”

“Oh- no problem.”

That day you two chatted and melted the ice in between. Deciding to rent the close by apartment and start your roommate era.

Your friend smiled to themselves knowing all too well that felix was completely crazy about you.

Your encounter at the library wasn’t a coincidence either, well don’t think of him as a stalker now, he just dumped a couple of coins in the fountain wishing that you would be there that night. That’s all.

As you two moved in together you realized that there were a lot of things to be ‘caught off guard’ about him but you were most baffled by the tremendous amount of books felix owned.

“Hey Lover boy ! Would you mind recommending me some of them ?”

Felix blushes terribly and you love it so much that you constantly bother him in order to catch a glimpse of his flustered state.

Unbeknownst to you, the pile that felix left on the doorstep of your room was consisted of the books that he thought of you as he read.

Felix, abandoning his night owl habit, decided to fix his sleeping schedule for the better. Definitely not because he wanted to see you at morning before you got off to the work.

Insisting on offering you a ride on your way back home with his nice car.

Nearly every single day.

He knows that it may annoy you but he knows how much you are devoted to your responsibilities so he at least wants for you to save a bit of energy before you dive into the work.

Speaking of his nice car, it tickled your curiosity so you decided to check the price tag on the web and... well...

“Felix... you don’t so some sketchy illegal shit for a living right ?”

“It’s nearly impossible for me to work at the moment because of my studies. Why did you ask ?”

“Your car costs more than the apartment we are living in right now.”

With that, you discover that Felix’s father owns one of the most prominent chains of pharmaceutical companies and that he basically flee from his fathers mansion because he was pressuring Felix to take over his position in the future.

Being his puppet was not a thing to be tolerated in Felix’s book.

That being said, your domestic life with felix was pretty soft to say the least.

Cleaning together, cooking while talking about how your day went or getting to enjoy his expressions while he spilled his frustration against authors that didn’t affect him well.

Occasionally noticing the new cooking books appearing out of nowhere

and the delicious smell of food welcoming you after work, quite often than you expect.

Finally, more skinship.

One day whilst you two got through the gates of your apartment block you noticed the open doors of the elevator so instinctively you held Felix by the hand and ran into the mirrored box.

What you didn’t notice was the fact that you didn’t let go of his hand as you two went up.

From that day on Felix used every single opportunity to sneak his hand into yours.

Don’t blame him, it’s just that your hands are warm and the feeling of security that radiates from your fingertips is his medicine.

You absolutely avoided to tease or point it out to him because you knew that he would never do it again so you went with the flow.

You really enjoyed it though.

Snaking your arms around his waist while he is organizing the bookshelf. Feeling him shutter into your arms.

Nights became more and more enjoyable once he started to accompany you.

Everytime you caught him slacking on the sofa, you used his lap as a pillow.

Felix is extremely easy to figure out, mainly because he can’t hide anything.

Also, well

He is ticklish and you use his weakness against him, a lot.

Diving your fingers down to the sides of his tummy you started to tickle every possible sensitive spot you could catch on.

“Spit it out.”

“I-I wan’t you to- give me my first tattoo.”

Telling his words apart from his adorable giggles, needless to say you were ecstatic.

“Alright. What do I get in return ?”

“Name your price.”

You thoughtfully stared at the ceiling, humming as you blurted out your very obviously well thought out response.

“I want you to show me what keeps you up all night.”

You can’t be serious.

If you asked for an organ, he would’ve been more compliant.

You didn’t know what you got yourself into.

You basically asked for him to show you his ‘masterpieces’ that he showcases on AO3. Something that you were already well aware of.

“Deal ?”

“No !”

“Good ! Let’s see what you got.”

Felix anonymously contributed to the community by writing some of the most famous slow-burn stories on the web.

Just so you know, his author persona blew up thanks to the mind blowing, earth shattering smuts he wrote.

Yeah you heard that right

Smuts

Well he is fucking panicking now.

Nonetheless days kept on going as felix prayed each night to every single deity that you forgot your ‘deal’.

The days go on even if his worries don’t.

Did I say that Felix is a whimpering, whiny mess ? he struggles to stay in one position as the needle drags upon his skin.

“If you plan to keep on moving, I might as well strap you down felix. 5 more minutes and then we are done. Please behave.”

When you put it like that how can he refuse I mean you made things worse he is internally screaming at what you just said but he is not going to refuse a command when it’s given by you.

In exchange for giving him a tattoo you decide to let him give you one even though he’s inexperienced.

He’s terrified because he thinks that something would go wrong, his hand would slip or something and he would scratch that pretty skin of yours with a horrendous tattoo.

But you assured him nevertheless and offered him to draw something very minimal and easy. He accepted eventually.

As it turns out Felix is a natural. His hand is extremely steady and the tattoo turns out great.

Throughout the process he’s constantly asking if you’re hurt because he thinks that he’s doing something wrong but in fact he’s very delicate and gentle with the strokes and his touch.

You decide to be evil and use it against him. After you touch up your tattoo you lean in very closely and turn your cheek towards him.

“What are you doing ?” He stutters.

“I can’t possibly ask you to kiss my freshly made tattoo, so won’t you give me a kiss so that it heals faster.”

If his hands were steady before they weren’t now.

As soon as his lips left your cheek you held him by his wrist and pull him back close again so that you can lean in onto his ear.

“Don’t think that I’ve forgotten our deal. I am excited to see what you have in store for me tonight.” You winked.

Then the worst thing happened

The “tonight” came.

Felix was running in circles around the living room with one hand on his forehead wondering what could get worse after this.

Maybe you’ll be disgusted or scared hell if he knows.

He wanted to do nothing to harm your relationship in anyway because you and what you two have is all he ever wanted.

...and he believes that he has a tendency to ruin things.

But what happened was beyond his expectations.

Your eyes followed every single sentence throughout the screen, the white light traced your expressions as your eyebrows raised up and down and the corners of your lips inched closer to your ears. Your lower lip became a victim of your teeth’s assault.

He was so confused. Still waiting for you to lash out or make fun of him, at least.

“I used to think ‘what am I gonna do with you’ when it comes to you. Mostly out of frustration.”

Yet here you were with the laptop closed shut and your arms behind your head as you closed your eyes and groaned.

Slowly the smile plastered on your face grew.

”Now I know what to with you.”

[ficsnroses]

Pregnancy Headcanons - John Wick x Reader

❧ may be read as a follow up to these.

warnings : pregnancy. smut. morning sickness mention. mega fluff.

words : 2.3k. requested by a lovely anon!

notes : remember ages ago when I said I’d whip these up? I did em! I couldn’t fit all my ideas. lemme know if you’d like to see another one of these with a similar concept. feedback appreciated as always! 

I love headcanons. so easy. so carefree. so much to say. don’t forget that you can request headcanons, too! not just full fics or drabbles.

A few weeks ago, John and you found out you were pregnant. Initially, it’s been slightly frightening to know that in a mere nine months or so, John and you will have a baby, a little human, who’s entire world you two will be, and they will be yours in return.

You’re more frightened, being the one carrying your child. You have your fears of not being good enough, or not knowing how to be the utmost perfect mother you can be to your baby.

John, however, is ecstatic. He’s frightened as well; he’s never done this before. Yet, he keeps it under wraps for you. For you, John always puts on a brave face and holds your hand each step of the way.

He goes out of his way to make sure you’re comfortable and well taken care of. So far, your belly isn’t even showing; but there is life inside. John has always treated you as a queen, but it has intensified tenfold after he got you pregnant.

Not a dish in the house is allowed to be washed by you, not a cloth may be touched. John wants to you relax and take it easy, focus on yourself. He truly believes that as long as you’re happy and healthy, the baby will be too.

John has always been an absolute sweetheart; nonetheless, since you’ve gotten pregnant, he’s only gotten lovelier. Many times, you fear you’re dreaming, and may wake up soon. John Wick is quite literally;

too good to be true.

Each morning, he’ll nuzzle into your chest, smiling a goofy grin.

“Morning, beautiful.” He whispers into your hair, peppering soft kisses to your temples and forehead. “And to you too, peanut.” He smiles, heavy hand rested to your growing tummy. John never misses an opportunity to tell you how much he loves you, and your baby. Despite them not even being here yet. He knows that this pregnancy will take a toll on you; he’d wish for more than anything that he could carry the pain instead of you, which is why he showers you with love. He’d never want you to forget how important you are; how much you mean. You’re his entire world and this means more to him than you can imagine.

Morning sickness has been tough. Often, you’ll wake up feeling nauseous, however, you feel secure knowing you have a team player on your side. Occasionally, in the middle of the night when you’re up at 3:00am feeling awful, John helps you out of bed, holding your hair up for you and rubbing small, soothing circles to your back in the washroom.

“I’m going to make you ginger tea, alright babe?” He quietly speaks, leaving a speckled kiss to your shoulder as you freshen up. You feel awful keeping him up this late, John always needs rest due to his gruesome job.

Foot rubs and massages get a lot more common as your tummy grows. John doesn’t mind, he enjoys the intimacy and being close to you.

Speaking of intimacy…

You continue having sex for as long as you can, because you both know that down the road, as your hormones continue to fluctuate and your belly grows, it may not be something you’ll be able to do often.

John and you do, and always have had sex often for as long as you’ve been together. It helps John ease down, calm his nerves and relieve tension. You don’t mind making love to him either, of course. You feel lucky to feel him so close, and to be the only women who feels him that way.

“Close your eyes, Squish,” John whispers a chuckle, a delicate kiss placed to your bare belly, just where your baby rests. His heavier hands gently peel off the fabric of your bottoms, full lips trailing lower, soft kisses pecked to your inner thighs as he nears your heat. “Daddy’s about to do some real nasty things to mommy.”

You’re not sure if its just your hormones, or delicate emotions as of late. Nonetheless, having sex with John has felt…closer since you got pregnant. It truly feels like you’re making the sweetest of love each and every time. He kisses you so sweet, works you so slow, so intimately, so tenderly, it brings tears to your eyes.

Having him inside feels unreal, divine. He only picks up pace nearing climax, his expertise, skill and unmatchable affection never failing to spill you over the edge so well.

As your belly grows bigger and bigger a few months in, going places, and moving is becoming increasingly tough. Grocery trips have become progressively more tiresome; car rides gradually more uncomfortable. John tries his hardest to help, and understands if you snap at him a little too quick or accidentally pick a fight over something minor.

“Can you turn the music down? Please?” You interrupt a serene drive home from the market, voice coaxed with irritation, laced aggravation tinted across all tones. John’s hand rests to your thigh as he drives, his other placed to the thin steering wheel. You’d been complaining about discomfort the entire morning; he felt awful knowing you were in any sort of pain.

“Sorry.” He sighs, hand shifting from your thigh to crank the stereo of his beloved Mustang 69’ down. Passing traffic winds roar outside, the New York buildings passing in towering lengths. John’s palm immedietly rests back to your thigh; smooth, gentle strokes ran across the fabric clad to your lap. His eyes stay focused to the road, yet his hand stays touching you, letting you know he’s there.

That he’ll always be there, no matter how frustrated you get, how intolerable your nagging becomes.

He loves you, and he loves his baby. He’s waited far too long to have this; normalcy, something his, something his own; something created out of love, familiarity. Something he’d lacked for far too long.

“Ugh.” You exhale, after a moment of stretched silence, hand coming up to rub your weary eyes. “I’m being awful, aren’t I?” You whisper, saddened eyes locking to your husband’s street bound orbs. He turns momentarily to lock eyes, a gentle smile your way.

“No, sweetheart.” He assures, grip on your thigh tightening. You groan, rebutting. “No, John. I am. I’m sorry.” You sigh, reaching both your hands down to your lap to engulf his, holding his hand in a soft grip. You rub the top of his palm, relaxing, playing with his sturdier fingers. “I love you. I really do.” Sincerely, your eyes stay focused to his well defined features, the dark beard that rides his cheek.

And to the sound of your guilty voice, John chuckles, securing your hand in his, before brining it up to his lips for a soft kiss.

“I know.”

John has come to all your ultrasound appointments; he wouldn’t miss them for the world. He holds your hand the entire time, signature goofy smile daubed to his smoky features.

The first ultrasound was incredibly emotional, you shed a couple of tears. John and you stare at the screen, a pea sized dot resting in the darkened frame. John’s hand holds yours so tight, so warm, you’d felt as if you could feel him within you. Like he was this significant, big part of you that you would cherish forever. Seeing him smile that day will be a sight you’ll never forget; a mural you’ll never surrender.

Through out your time together, over the timeline of your love, you’ve only seen John this way a handful of times. This happiness was different; held something sole, matchless. This was pure happiness, where nothing else tinted the depths of his thoughts. No insecurities, no doubts, no ghosts of his past. Apart from the day you said yes to marrying him, and the day of your wedding, you don’t remember John ever being this unconditionally, purely, happy.

You both sit on the couch later that night, John’s arms holding you close as your head lays to his broad chest, staring, smiling at the picture of your dream; the one that would conquer your entire hearts when they’d come.

John keeps a copy of the ultrasound picture in his wallet. He takes a moment to look at it, to remember what he has any time he needs a pick me up throughout the day.

John takes amazing care of you, your needs always before his. He monitors your eating and drinking, to make sure you and the baby are healthy. He gives you your supplements; you often forget the times throughout the day you need to take them.

Speaking of food…

Midnight cravings have become a usual for you. Normally, you suffice for waddling down to the kitchen, sure not to disturb your snoozing husband.

Gently removing his arm from your waist, you always smile a gentle, loving glaze his way. John sleeping is a sight you’ve come to adore over the years.

John at peace; is a sight you’ve come to adore. He deserves rest, he deserves peace.

Although, its tough not to wake John. More often than not, he’ll find you in the kitchen in the AM dark, smiling a cheeky grin as you devour left over dinner, or a questionable choice of midnight snack.

He’ll come up behind you, wrapping his arms snoozily around your mid, hands placed to your tummy. With a gentle kiss to the back of your head and his warm chest pressed to your back, his sleep thick, honey seared voice rasps a tender baritone in your neck.

“Hungry?” He’ll chuckle, quiet and warm. You only nod, lacing your hand to his that rests on your belly.

Of course, there have been rare nights where you crave something that isn’t in the fridge. John never turns you down, however. No matter how tired, how sleepy he is, he ventures to your local 24-hour market, or gas station in search of whatever you’d yearned.

“Should I come with you?” You bite your lip, pulling the comforter of your shared bed higher up your chest as you sit up. “I’m sorry I’m making you go out.” You frown, insecure. “But I just can’t stop thinking about how I just need a candy bar right now.”

John’s brown leather jacket shrugs onto his shoulders, and his lips smile your way, picking his wallet up off the night stand.

“Get some rest, sweetheart. I’ll be quick.” He whispers, a kiss to your forehead before he’s out the door, blinking away sleep dense orbs.

For you, he’d wake a thousand nights. A million slumbers may waste away.

Slowly, you build the nursery for your baby. John works away, painting once crisp white walls into something more pastel, something that would welcome your child with joyful colour.

John has definitely become more talkative over the pregnancy.

He never misses out on a chance to kiss your belly, or talk to them.

“I’ll be back soon.” He announces, car keys armed in his sturdy fingers. With a kiss to your lips, he smiles. “I love you, don’t forget it.”

“Hurry back please.” You frown, a light whine coated to your tone. John only nods, slightly dropping to his knee in front of you, a quick, brief kiss placed to your tummy. “Keep mommy company, squish.” He tells your belly, a quiet, barely audible ‘daddy loves you’ Fled into the air, before he’s up, his hold on your hand let go as you walk him to the door, wishing him a wonderful day with a final kiss to his cheek.

You shop for cribs, toys, decorations all together. John looks incredibly handsome building the crib, painting the walls, asking exactly where you wanted everything to be placed. You watch him from your rocking chair in the corner, a hand to your belly as you talk to John the entire time, about anything, and everything.

John is a wonderful listener. Together, you two often talk about your future. A future where you’ll move away somewhere out of town,

Somewhere closer to the water, down the road. Somewhere where John’s ghastly pasts wont haunt him no more; somewhere you’ll grow old together with a white picket fence, and a story.

Your story, that you’ll tell you grandkids someday, when you’re old and gray, slightly slower; but still, hopelessly in love.

John adores talking to the baby. On secluded, rainy evenings, or when the sun sets out the mauve horizon and the trees bid goodnight to cotton clouds, John and you lounge on the couch, a thick, heavy novel equipped in John’s palm as he reads to you, and your tummy.

With his head resting on your lap, you stroke his lengthy coffee mane, fully engaged, lost in his mélange voice; smoky and rich, beautifully saccharine. Your thumbs coax his tired temples; gently scratching his stubble ridden cheek when you please. Every now and then, John’s glowing eyes peer up, glossing over your features.

He looks lovely like this, at ease, immersed in art.

To you, he is the loveliest of art. He’s a story, he’s a piece of Neverland. He’s your love story, and it’s one,

for the ages;

your love is one for the ages.

Sometimes, he’ll fall asleep this way, head resting in your lap as you stroke his hair. Him and the baby rest together, so close to you.

This was what it meant to have true, wholesome, pure, purpose. To have security, to have something truly, only, yours.

They were yours.

Pregnancy would be tough. It would be a journey, things would change, you would change. But you weren’t scared, for a single moment.

Because you knew, that you had your dream, your mountain of a man beside you, holding your hand,

Each step,

Of the way.

And you knew, you knew well. That the day your baby comes, they will have the most amazing, wonderful father who loves them, and their mommy to the ends of the world, and back.

You’d felt love before, you’d had everything before.

But with this, with what you’ve made, with John; it falls incomparable.

He’s the love that made all the others,

Irrelevant.

➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴

My taglist will be posted in reblogs, let me know if you want to be added or removed! :)

[cupsofsuga]

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 ━ 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 *:·。.

{ ⚠️} WARNING - This is a yandere au, meaning the following may be triggering to some viewers.  I am not trying to discriminate the boys in any way, this is for entertainment purposes. Viewer discretion is advised!!!

{ 💐} REQUEST - ❝ Can I have the boys reactions to an s/o who show her possessiveness by wearing their clothes ? She's all happy and proud to go to the university or whatever wearing their shirt because " That way everyone will know that I'm yours and you're mine , plus it smells like you 🥺 " ❞

{ ☕️} NOTE - thank you so so much for requesting, dollface!

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊𝐉𝐈𝐍

━━━ November’s essence kisses the air of your living room, it’s fierce caress trailing across your skin. You, ever so intelligently, stated with pride that you could handle the cold, regretting the choice as the embers of moonlight trace their fingertips across naked goosebumps. Strolling through the halls of your home, shivering from the sharp wind, you find your bedroom with intentions of retrieving some form of warmth. You discover a grey hoodie, lethargically tossed over a chair. The owner’s identity is quickly exposed, as the sweatshirt descends down your form due to your lover’s broad shoulders. You have now found solace, drowned in the scent of cologne.

Oh, and the blush that blooms beat-red across Jin’s cheeks is a sight you’ll never forget.

Following that occurrence (and the rest of the night spent smothered in your boyfriend’s lily-pure affection), you’ve taken notice of Jin’s not-so-subtle efforts to usher you into wearing his clothes again. At first, it began with leaving articles of clothing in numerous places, but that plan backfired as you silently scolded him under your breath for not tidying up after himself. This strategy escalated into Jin planting his clothes in your drawer’s, then claiming it was an “accident” or "a way to save space.” The red hues painting his ears and the way he avoids eye-contact jeopardizes his weak filter, though. At least you find his everlasting, spring-scented infatuation beneath the facade of damp rain and rotten trees. Be careful, though. If you venture too deep into the depths of Kim Seokjin and you’ll find sights of crimson-stained sins.

❝ God, you have way too much power over me, y’know? I’m always so soft for you, ‘fucking moron. ❞

𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈

━━━ The evening mist glides through the brume of your boudoir, where you are embraced by the neglected clothes of your boyfriend like snow sleeping on a pine tree. After a particularly cold night strikes your studio apartment, the empty sheets and abandoned blankets failed to bring the solace of the sweltering summer-warmth your lover possesses. You yearned for Yoongi and the moonlight, the coffee stains, and stormy nights that kiss his form. The rhythmic melody of his gentle voice; the crow’s caress that wanders his skin. And despite his overbearing worry and protectiveness that you’ve brushed off as “concern for your health,” you crave those December eyes and that feeble heart. Fortunately for you, your knight in shining armor didn’t venture too far away. And finding you nestled under numerous covers causes worry to immediately swell within his heart.

His concern is distinctly evident, as his shrill voice of distress invades the midnight breeze. You swear you feel him shiver with dread when he feels how frigid you are when he shakily takes your hand into his. And before you express your refusal to his care, Yoongi vanishes from the bedroom to draw you a bath. If you think he’s exaggerating your discomfort due to the November weather, think again. Your name is then sung into the air, blossoming into the twilight’s brume as you escape the warmth of your bed and stroll to your lover. Before you, you’ll find the hot water adorned in bubbles and flower petals, candles littered around the room (far from the tub, for your safety), melodies of violin and piano reverberating through the area, and the sugary caresses from your Yoongi as the cherry on top. Whilst adorned in the blissful harmony of peace, you can't help but let your mind wander. His worry has always been grand, so grand that you fear his heart may actually stop beating if your safety was ever at stake.

Oh, well, at least he cares. Maybe a little too much.

❝ My Y/N, if you ever, ever need anything, I will always be right here… Always… ❞

𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊

━━━ Finding your boyfriend nestled under a canopy of your clothing was never a shock, as your scent of cheap whiskey and jasmines beneath the August sun lulled his soul to ease. The sultry high he’s given when inhaling another article of clothing is euphoric, infinite. To breathe in your musk is to find an eternal night beneath the purple rain; to drown in the depths of you is to savor the stars as they breathe out the dust of twilight. There’s a garden that thrives around the simple presence of your fragrance and Hoseok can’t imagine a greater bliss that is your essence. That is until he finds you draped in one of the many sweaters he owns, the red threading like Autumn against your form.

He was always swift to recognize his infatuation, but to know the emotions he immerses himself into are mutual emits a variety of nymphs to tangle themselves with his heartbeat. He feels the rhythms of sunlight as they batter against his ribcage and nothing, nothing is as ecstatic as this.

Twilight has occurred, the moonlight bleeds through the glass panes and hits your eyes ever so elegantly. It reflects a soft radiance as if the moon was swimming in your irises. You are beautiful, lying on the couch with his sweater on like a stray cat who will soon vanish into the arms of the night. It was no secret that Hoseok adored seeing you in his clothes, as his boisterous admiration morphed into suffocating infatuation. There was even a time where you reached into the pocket of his sweater during class and find a folded piece of paper containing a sweet note (that was just a tad bit creepy) along with doodles of hearts, flowers, cats, and dogs. Hoseok's love may cut deep with its shattered-lily touch, but it is entirely pure. Despite the obsession seeping through his affections, he loves you more than you could ever possibly know.

❝ Hey, isn’t it crazy how after all this time, you still manage to give me so many butterflies? I… I think I’m gonna love you forever… ❞

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐉𝐎𝐎𝐍

━━━ You anticipate for your lover to return to your home, stumbling around the adobe in utter boredom. Although this lifeless night is all too dull, you notice how the penthouse you wander around resembles a palace. With its crystalline chandeliers and marble tiles, its paradisiac view of the city that never sleeps and melodies of chefs and maids rustling around the residence. Through the lavish estate, you find the bedroom, embellished in opulent riches of all kinds. Then, there’s the closet, decked out to the brim in treasures of Gucci, Chanel, and Prada. There’s jewelry, bags, shoes, nearly every single article of clothing an item you couldn’t dream of affording in your past, mundane life. Your eyes settle on a blazer, exquisitely threaded with the finest of silks nestled deep within the closet.

The coat is a tad bit too large for your form, but you believe it fits you like a glove. And despite there being a faint stain of spilled champagne on the sleeve, coming home to his summer sunset wearing his attire like its armor, Namjoon has never tasted bliss as divine as this.

The skies once painted baby blue morph into the dark hues of twilight. Night has come, euphoria has been found within the tendrils of your hair on his chest and the littering of bubblegum-pink kisses across your skin. For reasons Namjoon can’t define, seeing you in his clothes causes his heart to tremble and plummet. There’s this sudden veil of exhilaration, like a July night spent with your record collection and red wine. It’s an enchantment that aches deep within his chest, where the desire to submerge you in his affections burns within his heart. He gazes at your now sleeping form, naming off every detail of you that he loves so much like he’s counting dollar bills in his hands. His moonlight’s essence, his lavender’s breath, his garden full of violets. You have taught him how to live without rain and he can’t gift you enough gratitude for this blessing. But, just don’t be surprised when you find your closet covered in dust. You’re only allowed to wear his clothes from now on.

❝ Damn, blue is an outstanding color on you. Maybe that should be the color for our wedding… Wait- shit! I-I-I didn’t say anything! ❞

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍

━━━ Upon the surface of your bed, the voice of rain trembles against the thin roof above you. Tree branches sway with the heavy wind, lightning lashes like a whip against the evening floor. You feel the nightly embrace of bitter inclemency, as the earthly musk swims around the bedroom. Despite finally having a night alone, you notice yourself longing for the tumultuous warmth of your lover. A single night spent in isolation, Jimin didn’t take it lightly. After all, what is life without the iridescence of a Summer’s kiss? How can he breathe without immersing himself within the depths of his angel’s orchestra? You can assume what thoughts of hunger are rumbling through the boy’s mind, but you are oblivious to the saturated sound of Jimin weeping into his cold flesh.

You retrieve one of his sweaters in the meantime, inhaling his fragile scent of honey and moonflowers. He must be adorned in several layers of just your clothes, you joke to yourself. The enchantment of the rain’s melody and the fragrance of your boyfriend then lulls you into slumber, to where you then awake the following morning to dawn painting the optimistic face of Jimin.

Finding you in his sweater, knowing you had missed him, he had blushed like a tomato ready to harvest, that confident and broad facade melting like ice cream, to where he became a sugary puddle of flowering feelings and summer velvet. He looked like a young schoolboy who had received a love letter in his locker, as the blood of Aphrodite paints his cheeks rosy and utter bewitchment has him smiling like a lovestruck idiot. As you then regain consciousness, you are then smothered in Jimin’s affections. He kisses you everywhere wild as if leaving a single inch of skin unloved would kill him. He’ll even go as far as to order a shirt that reads “JIMIN + Y/N 5EVER” or just straight-up purchasing a conjoined sweater, so you’ll never be separated ever again. It is insane how infatuated he is, yes, but there is not a single soul within our universe that could cherish you as utterly as he does. And Jimin will walk with that fact to the grave.

❝ Ngh! No, don’t leave! Stay in bed, just for a couple more minutes! Maybe even a couple more hours, please…? A couple days…? ❞

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆

━━━ October has bloomed, the saturated leaves are painted damp as rain kisses the earth below. You have lost track of the months settled within the isolated cottage, but enough time has been spent for your new boyfriend to grant you the privilege of taking a hike (with his presence alongside yours, of course). To stay warm within the frigid weather, you encounter one of Taehyung’s sweaters, arm sleeve hung over the side of the hamper. As the clothing sits on your form, you immerse yourself in the expensive musk of your lover. He smells like a century spent in the clouds with peaches and fairies; he smells like Autumn as pumpkin pie and Halloween nights essence dances with the ghosts in the attic. It is ethereal the way summer’s affection seems to litter the fragrance he dresses with.

Upon seeing you standing beneath the rickety door frame, adorned in his moss-colored sweater, Taehyung had blushed with utter joy and bewilderment. He had nearly dropped the midnight-black umbrella in his hands, stunned upon witnessing you in attire as mere as his coat.

After a stroll through the empty fields beneath the rainfall (and hearing the shutter of a camera for the umpteenth time), you retreat to your humble adobe. The following night is spent in blissful harmony, where you’ll sleep beneath the canopy of stars, locked within his daisy-chain embrace. You are his scarlet kingdom, his summer’s honey, his garden adorned in fineries such as nymphs and emeralds and birdsong. As dawn blossoms in the sky, you awake alone within silken sheets, the revelation peculiar. As you regain consciousness and study the sunlit bedroom, you find Taehyung’s clothes folded neatly on the end of the bed, drenched heavily in cologne. You nearly cough from the intensity, studying the note rested on top, where your partner exclaims he needed to run for groceries in calligraphy. Besides this note, however, is a necklace with a vial swung upon the string. With closer inspection, you come to the horrifying conclusion that the crimson fluid within the glass was his blood. You now shall never be apart again, not with Taehyung right beside your beating heart.

❝ Oh, Y/N, to spent everyday with you like this, it’s like everything I’ve lost has returned home to me. You truly are a blessing, my love… ❞

𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐎𝐎𝐊

━━━ It is a muggy Wednesday morning, where fog coats the floor of dawn, and the dense breeze embraces the earth’s redolence. Today is frigid, as the embers of the piercing winds kiss your honeyed skin. You can’t help but long for Summer to return home, where the sky turns pink in its sugary excellence and where you’ll find youthful infatuation on the curb of Cherry Street, like two poodles whose leashes have entangled beneath the Eiffel Tower. With philosophies of sweltering fantasies, you clutch a leather jacket, oblivious to its owner. Into the grey forest of high school, you’ll find every fragment of boredom known to mankind. But, throughout the dull conditions, at least you have your Jungkook.

Catching sight of you in his jacket causes a heavenly glow to inflate his heart, the essence of clouds and angel’s tears scattering his soul. It feeds into his possessiveness as if he was marking you with his scent, claiming you like a wolf would with his mate.

From thereon, you take notice of Jungkook’s subtle efforts to indulge you within his scent. His affections morphed from shy, rosy-pink compliments to physical touches, as if clasping onto you would drown out the musk of all those heathens you call “friends.” Your scent of moonlit harmonies and dusk in California had since dissolved into his scent of melting chocolate and cigarette smoke. His possessive tendencies may be extreme (like that time he snuck into your closet at 4 in the morning and perfumed every article of clothing with his cologne), but his intentions are ever so pure. You are his siren song, his sunset gaze, his purple rain. You are everything to this boy, with galaxies burning within your chest and distant realities snaking their way through your soul. Within the heart of Jeon Jungkook, you live inside Eden's garden, crafted just for you. And there’s only so much time before he scoops you into his embrace and never let's go.

❝ … You smell different… Who is it? Who have you been talking to? What is that blonde I always see you with? I swear, I’ll gouge out his eyeballs with a plastic spoon and force him to eat them!! ❞

[celestiababie]

Too Much Love- Jaehyun/Yoonoh (m/a)

Genre: angst with suggestive noncon themes, stalker!jaehyun au, college!au, jae is pretty much just a pervy creep, no actual smut sorry

Pairings: jaehyun/yoonoh x reader

Warnings: Stalking, breaking in, knives, illegal themes, reader is dumb lowkey, jaehyun producing a lot of precum lol

Word count: 1,273

A/N: I do NOT condone the things in this fic in real life, this is simply fantasy. I also do not believe Jaehyun would ever actually do something like this. I do not mean to offend anyone with my content and I myself am a victim of sexual abuse so trust me when I say I AM NOT TRYING TO GLAMORIZE IT. THIS IS SIMPLY FICTION. With that being said, please enjoy. I will most likely make a part two.

He bit his rose-tinted bottom lip as he tries to keep his breathing steady. You look gorgeous, like a dainty angel who had descended from heaven, landing on Earth just for him. Your smooth skin caused his mouth to water in need. Mouth salivating from the intense yearning to taste and touch you. His deep brown eyes were dilated, a clear indication of his infatuation with you.

How couldn't you recognize his emotions each time he looked at you? Why couldn't you sense the love he had for you? 

The two of you attended the same university, were in the same social circle, and yet you barely batted an eye to him. Why won't she fucking love me? He thinks to himself. Even he could hear the bitter tone in his head. 

Why can't she see that we're meant for each other? 

Nearly a year ago is when it all began, when his life changed, and unknowingly, yours did as well.

His glove covered hand gripped the handle of the knife he held tightly as flashes of memories hit him. Too many times, he had stood in this very spot behind the large bushes outside of your bedroom. The crisp breeze brushed upon his skin, his eyes fluttered shut from the relaxing sensation. He wondered if your touch would be as calming. He quivered at the thought of your soft hands touching his skin, the tip of his shaft leaking pre-cum at the mere thought. 

You were gonna love him, he knew it. You simply required some... guidance. That's all you needed.

His eyes shut momentarily, the pounding of his heart filling his ears. This is it.  He opened his eyes after a minute and watched as you peacefully slept, the midnight colored silk nightdress with lace accents hiking up on your legs, your chest subtly rising and falling with every slow, delicate breath. It was as if you knew tonight was special, why else you wear his personal favorite? 

He drew a mask over his head before exiting from the bushes, shuffling closer to your window. He mentally threw his fist into the air when he had arrived before and noticed that your window was wide open, probably to allow the cool breeze into your room, but it was making his job so much easier. He discreetly lifted the window screen, making sure to not make a single noise. He didn't want you to wake up quite yet.

He climbed through your window, finding it somewhat challenging due to his broad stature. He bit his lip as both of his feet set down on the hardwood floor of your bedroom, more pre-cum leaking out of him and soaking through his boxers. His breath hitched, and he took a minute to try and calm himself down. He had fantasized about being in your room more times than he could count. His eyes gazed at your sleeping figure, his body moved without thinking. He stood over you at the edge of your queen-sized mattress and took the liberty of lightly grazing your skin with the blade of the sharp, shiny point of the knife in his hand. You shuddered at the coldness of the blade, turning in your sleep, your behind now facing him. He let out a hushed moan as his eyes peered down to the slight exposure of the panties you were wearing. The sight of the innocent baby pink underwear was enough for him to feel bolder. 

He reached over you, placed his large hand over your mouth while pressing the blade up to the side of your throat. Your eyes abruptly opened, your entire body was filled with intense fear. You let out a shriek that was hindered by his gloved fingers and attempted to move away. He climbed on top of you and placed his head close to your ear. Tears streamed out of your eyes as you felt the weight of the man on top of you, his heavy breathing making your ear feel hot. 

I'm gonna die, he's gonna kill me, you chanted in your head. You sobbed as if your life depended on it, tears making your cheeks and eyelashes wet. 

 As if he could hear your thoughts, the unknown man spoke up, the sudden sound instilling your body with even more panic. "I swear I'm not gonna harm you, I don't want to hurt you, Y/N." The man's voice was deep and smooth...there was something familiar about it, but the fear kept you from thinking about it too much. You let out a sob and shook your head rapidly to show your discomfort, wanting nothing more but for the man to leave you alone. How does he know my name? You thought to yourself.

"This isn't how you're supposed to be acting... I'm not going to hurt you, I swear."  His words confused you, but his voice confused you even further. God, you knew you heard that voice somewhere- but how? It's as if a lightbulb lit inside your head, your body suddenly still at the realization. Tears were still leaking from your eyes, but you couldn't move, your frame filled with shock. 

Could it be? 

 You tried to say something against his gloved hand, and he heard you mumble something against his glove and tilted his head, not being able to make out what you said. He hesitantly pulled his hand away from your mouth, overwrought of you possibly screaming.

With wide, bloodshot eyes, you turned your head as best as you could and stuttered, "J-Jaehyun?"

His body tensed, from you saying his name. You knew him? You actually knew him? He felt more pre-cum leak out of his tip, the sound of you saying his name, clouding his head with pleasure. Hearing you say it sounded even more magical than he ever imagined. He came to his senses, and his eyes widened, realizing that you knew who he was...you knew it was him on top of you. He mentally cursed at himself, pressing the knife further against your soft skin.

"Shut up. I don't k-know what you're talking about." He closed his eyes tightly at the slight stutter in his voice, hoping you didn't catch it, but you did. 

"Jaehyun, I know it's you... W-why are you here? Why are you doing this?" You spoke in a rushed voice, distraught that someone you thought was so warm and kind would so something so cruel. His breath shook as he felt his anxiety rising the more you spoke. He shouldn't have come here, he shouldn't have broke in... He shouldn't be on top of you. 

Jaehyun suddenly got off of you in a hurry, rushing out of your window as fast as possible, leaving you confused and scared. 

"What just happened?" You whispered to yourself. You looked over at your phone sitting on your bedside table, but your fingers never reached for it. After a few moments of silence, you finally reached for your phone, but not to call 911. 

You opened your messaged and texted a friend from your photography class...you knew you should call the cops, so why aren't you? Your hands shook while you typed, still filled with fear from what just happened.

[Sent at 2:01am] Hey I know this is random

[Sent at 2:02am] But could you give me Jaehyun's number 

Johnny: lol

Johnny: Did you finally realize the dude has a crush on you???

Johnny: Here xxxxxxxxx

You stared at your phone for a few minutes, eyes wide as you reread it over and over, but you just couldn't wrap your hands around it.

[Sent at 2:07am] A crush?

[dameronology]

things we lost in the fire {obi-wan x reader}

summary: on a slow morning in tatooine, you and obi-wan reflect on how lucky you are to still have each other 

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of death 

another obi fic based on a bastille song?? more likely than you think!! but i swear, despite, all the warnings, this isn’t going to rip your heart out completely 

enjoy,

- val xx

Things had never been darker.

The stars still shone at night, silvers and steels and greys against the canvas of the midnight sky. The sun still came up everyday - doubly so on Tatooine. You woke up every morning to the twin suns blaring down on your new home, illuminating the place with a hauntingly golden glow. For a place that seemed to be so fundamentally built on black and white beliefs - good and bad, right and wrong, light and dark - the world seemed too bright. 

The stars shone at night. The sun still came up every day. The world seemed bright - but things had never seemed darker. 

You missed the life you had - no, you didn’t just miss it. You yearned for it. You ached for it. You wanted to wake up one of these particularly hot Tatooine mornings to find everything was just a dream; that Anakin was alive, that Padme was alive, that you still had a temple to come home to. Everything you’d ever loved had been thrown into the fiery pits of Mustafar, left to burn and turn to ash. 

Well, not everything.

You still had Obi-Wan Kenobi and you thanked the stars everyday for it. 

It was clear that he was hurting too - there was always a tinge of pain in his sarcastic quips, a sense of tiredness in his eyes whenever they creased with laughter. He was doing it for you, staying strong for you. He was holding you both up - after all, helping people was all he knew. Even when he’d lost everything, that didn’t change. 

Searching for positives was hard and after desperately seeking, you’d found a few. 

You were no longer sneaking around, so you could walk hand-in-hand through the winding streets of your local market together. You could lay-in every morning, not worried about meetings or missions or operations. The pressure to be a good Jedi was off and now you could just be together. It wasn’t much - but at the same time, it was everything.

It was a warm morning on Tatooine; the suns were high in the sky, even though it was barely 7AM. You were sprawled out on your mattress, sheets tangled in your legs from where you’d kicked them off in the night. The sunlight was streaming through the cracks in the curtains, showering you in a warm glow as you lazily stretched. You rolled over on your side, eyes falling on the half-awake man next to you.

Obi-Wan’s eyes were vacantly staring at the ceilings, lids heavy with post-sleep tiredness. Having sensed that you were awake, he lazily reached a hand out towards you, covering yours where it was splayed out on the mattress. You tangled your fingers with his, lighting squeezing his hand. 

‘You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?’ You quietly murmured. 

‘Always.’ He whispered back. 

You felt that - you really felt that. Anakin was always on your mind; not Darth Vader, not the twisted, dark person he’d become. Anakin. The cocky Jedi, the one who you’d called your best friend for years. He hadn’t died in the physical sense but emotionally and mentally, he was long gone. He’d gone insane trying to protect the woman he loved and he wasn’t coming back. 

You didn’t necessarily understand. You never could, but you were able resonate with his innate desire to stop at nothing for Padme. You would have crossed the galaxy ten times over and back to protect the man you loved. The panic you felt in the moments after Order 66, not knowing if Obi-Wan had survived was going to stick with you for a long time. 

The way you held each other, after colliding into one another in the middle of a jet? The way you cried, relief washing over you despite the fact that every you’d ever known was gone? That’s when you knew that you were never going to stray away from him again. Everything you’d argued about, everything you’d ever worried about or bickered about suddenly seemed so menial. It was the peak definition of not knowing what you had until you’d almost lost it.

But you hadn’t lost him - you’d got lucky. He’d got lucky too. 

‘I miss him too.’ You said. You softly brushed a few strands of hair out of his face, your free hand still holding his. ‘And I hate to say it, but there’s nothing we can do.’

You hated having to be the voice of reason - that had always been Obi-Wan’s job. It felt like a bit of a dick move to remind him that you could never return to your former life, but reality was harsh. It was a goddamned bitch. The acceptance of the situation had hit you like a ton of bricks and you couldn’t make it any easier for Obi-Wan. You wished that you could; that you could take his pain away and turn it into something better. All you could do was guide him through it in the same way he’d done for you every time that you’d been hurting throughout the years. 

‘I know.’ Obi-Wan finally turned to look at you, a forced smile playing on his lips. ‘I can’t help but think would what have happened if-’

‘- don’t think about the ifs.’ You cut him off. ‘Try as you might but you can’t change the past.’

‘I wish I could.’

You leant forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. ‘I know.’

With that, you shuffled out of bed, reaching down to grab a shirt. You pulled it over your head and slipped on your shoes, peaking over your shoulder at him as you did. You tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it faltered slightly. 

For once, you were trying to be the strong one. He had been your driving force for so long, the reason that you’d got out of bed in the morning. If you hadn’t had him after everything that had happened? You didn’t know where you’d be. You probably owed it to him to take the weight of everything for once.

‘I’m gonna go make some caff.’ You said.

‘I’ll be out in a moment.’

You stood up, the footsteps of your unlaced boots echoing off the walls as you headed through to the kitchen. Your dwelling was humble; big enough for both of you (and more, if that was what the future held). It felt like home for no other reason than the fact Obi-Wan was there with you. 

After assembling a semi-decent cup of caff, you kicked open your front door and headed outside. There was a small bench at the front of the house, overlooking the village ahead. The early morning sun was beating down on you, the air fresh and untainted. The day felt new - full of hope, despite everything. 

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you cupped the warm drink between your hands. The road ahead of you was still empty - most people around here were older, retired or out of employment. They didn’t rise until much later in the morning - you wished you were capable of that, but years as a Jedi had drilled early starts into your system. 

‘I don’t always think about the past.’

The sound of Obi-Wan’s voice announced his present. 

‘Yeah?’ You replied, tilting your head to face him. He was stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He had a cup of caff in one hand and a book in the other. ‘So what do you think about?’

‘You.’ 

Tossing the book to the doorstep with a dusty thump, the Jedi moved to take a set next to you. He reached his arm out towards you and without having to say anything, you dropped your feet to the floor and fell into his side. He pressed a kiss to your temple, hand gently carding through your hair. 

It was so domestic - so simple, so suburban and ordinary. But, behind your small gestures of affection and words of love, there were galaxies of grief. The place you were now might have seemed peaceful and quiet but the journey to get there had been anything but. Between you, you’d experienced enough loss and enough pain to last ten lifetimes. 

‘That’s a grand statement.’ You shot back.

‘A grand statement for a grand person.’

‘Oh, you always have been a sweet talker.’ You chuckled. 

‘I mean it.’ He replied. ‘I don’t say often enough how grateful I am for you.’

You peered up at him, a small sigh escaping your lips. ‘You don’t have to.’

‘I should though.’

‘And so should I.’ You shot back. ‘You have done everything for me since the day we met, Obi. I owe you so much-’

‘- you don’t owe me anything, darling.’ He softly murmured. ‘Simply staying by my side has put me in a lifetime of debt.’

You almost laughed at the thought of doing anything else. Staying with Obi-Wan had never even been a question - you were already packing your bags before he could even finish saying I’m moving to Tatooine. Neither of you had any idea where you were going, nor what you were doing. But, just like everything else, you were going to figure it out together. 

‘We’ll call it even.’ You leant up to kiss him, lips brushing against his.

‘I talk about what I’ve lost.’ He murmured, forehead resting on yours. ‘Anakin, Padme, the Jedi.’

That was the first time he’d said his name his everything had happened. It hurt - maker, it hurt - but the proud look on your face when it happened was almost enough to make it worth it. 

‘But I never talk about what I still have.’ He added. ‘You.’

‘You don’t need to talk about it.’ You shook your head. ‘I know the feeling.’

‘You do?’

‘Of course.’ You replied. ‘I think about that day all the time and all I can remember is that you were my first concern. I could only focus on finding you, on making sure that you were okay.’

‘You mean everything to me.’ Obi-Wan admitted. ‘You always have but even more so now.’

He hadn’t mean to become attached to you, even less so to indulge his addiction. Years ago, when you were both still sworn to a code, it had been hard. Choosing you over the very Order that he’d committed has life too had been a struggle - but now? He’d never been more grateful that he’d chosen you. 

‘It’s the same for you.’ You offered him a watery smile. ‘Guess we’re kinda stuck together, huh?’

‘Even if you strayed to the other side of the galaxy, we still have a Force connection.’ He reminded you. ‘So yes - I suppose we are stuck together.’

Obi-Wan was your backbone; the glue that held you together these days. It was easy to look at him as though he hung the stars in the sky - and as far as you were concerned, he did. You were living in dark times but he felt like the light at the end of the tunnel.

And, little did you know, but he felt the same. Having you by his side meant more to you than you’d ever realised. There was one specific second on the day of Order 66 that he held onto: the moment you met again, the moment that you tossed yourself towards him, not caring about whether or not he was going to catch you. That was when, despite everything, that he felt like things were going to be okay. 

The stars still shone at night. The sun still came up everyday. It felt like you were the reason why. 

tags: @cherieboba​ @valkyriesandbrokenhalos​ @cptnrex501​ @thespareoom​ 

[the-softest-puffball]

of city lights and forgotten mugs

note: sorry this one is so late lol, it's like 30 minutes before midnight but i really wanted to get this done so yeah enjoy!

prompt: Nightmare/Dream

pairings: analogical

warnings: hot drinks?

read on AO3

@analogicalweek

----------

Virgil watched the lights of the city, his arms resting on the railing of the balcony as the cars below moved slowly in the traffic that was still prominent even this late in the night. The mug he was holding warmed his hands, steam curling up from the drink to disappear into the sky, or more likely, the balcony above them. Despite the cars honking below, it was quiet, save for a few loud laughs from a group of teenagers running across the street to get inside the apartment building.

Virgil then heard the clinking of dishes from the kitchen, glancing back towards the open glass door to see Logan trying to grab his own mug from the cabinet. He pulled it out, setting it on the counter before turning around and unintentionally making eye contact with Virgil.

“Oh, hello, Virge,” Logan said, loud enough so Virgil could hear him. “What are you doing up this late?”

“I could ask the same for you. You’re never up at this time,” Virgil replied, a twinge of worry settling in his stomach. Logan had gone to bed a couple hours ago, but with him back in the kitchen and grabbing a mug, indicating that he was probably going to stay up, made Virgil anxious.

“I’m aware,” Logan said. He made his way to Virgil, stepping outside and also leaning on the railing. He had a far-away look on his face as he gazed out to the city. “I just… had a strange dream.”

“Really? Like a nightmare?” Virgil moved to put his cup down on the ground. Logan and this conversation was far more interesting than his drink, and he wanted Logan to know he had his full attention. Not that Logan didn’t always have Virgil’s full attention.

“No, it wasn’t a nightmare, nor a bad dream at all. It has just brought up some things I hadn’t previously thought of.” Virgil raised an eyebrow, but didn’t interrupt as Logan seemed like he wanted to continue. “Actually, I was hoping you would be out here as I wanted to discuss it with you, since you are a main aspect of it.”

Logan turned towards him, and Virgil tried to not show his nervousness. If Logan was having a strange dream, and he was a main part in it, what did he do wrong?

However, Logan also looked slightly nervous, which was fairly confusing. Virgil couldn’t remember the last time Logan had been nervous.

“Well, I suppose I should start with explaining the dream to you. It started with you and I on this balcony, actually, and I remember the sky was a very bright pink. You then turned to look at me, since you were looking out into the distance, which was odd because there was no city and instead it was just desert, but besides that, you looked at me and you said something about how you thought I was handsome.”

Virgil gave him a weird look, mostly to hide the fact that he did find Logan handsome and had wanted to say that on multiple occasions, before absentmindedly fidgeting with his fingers. He tried to push away the thoughts of how this could horrible change into something bad, instead trying to focus onto every word Logan was saying.

“And then I had just smiled and said thank you, but then you…” Logan fiddled with his tie, breaking eye contact, exuding such an anxious energy that was making Virgil even more nervous.

“I did what?” Virgil tried to push him to continue, as now he doesn’t think the worry that had formed and growed in his gut was ever going to go away if Logan suddenly stopped.

“You, ah… I don’t know why I am having such a difficult time saying this.” Virgil could see red starting to appear on Logan’s cheeks, and if Virgil’s heart wasn’t racing before the fact that Logan was so pretty while flustered would have definitely done it.

Logan paused for a second and then took a deep breath and made eye contact again. “You kissed me.”

Virgil felt almost everything stop. All of his bones froze, his heart dropped to fit in with the anxiety in his stomach, and his breath spilled into the night with a betraying exhale. Was he that obvious?

Virgil had thought that perhaps he had been hiding his feelings well from his friend. After all, surely Logan would have confronted him about it if he had caught Virgil staring at him like he had Virgil’s whole heart cradled in his hands or Virgil’s face going rose red whenever they brushed shoulders or hands. Maybe Logan hadn’t noticed it, but his subconscious definitely did, and that was enough to make Virgil feel as if being stuck in the traffic below was a better place to be than having to deal with this situation.

“What?” He managed to say. and Logan just nodded.

“Yes, it was very odd, but then even more odd was that I… I had returned it. In fact, I had felt elated by what had transpired.”

Virgil’s heart rose back up again, and a flowering feeling of hope began to sprout in his chest. Maybe Virgil wasn't doomed to be yearning for his friend forever after all.

“I am trying to discover what it means, however, and so far all of my questions have gotten me nowhere. So, what does it mean?”

Virgil paused as Logan looked back out to the city, deep in thought but still awaiting Virgil’s answer. Virgil had one idea that was practically screaming inside of his head, so before he could stop himself, he said it.

“Well, did you consider that maybe… you have romantic feelings for me?”

“Of course I did, and I did think about it for a little bit, but…” Logan’s words died on his tongue when he looked back towards Virgil, and Virgil had to keep himself from losing himself in Logan’s eyes, because despite how many times Logan had made eye contact with him Virgil still thought that he could drown in them forever. Especially when their gaze morphed into a tender one. “I believe you’re right.”

Logan’s tone of voice was soft, almost as if he was afraid to break the fragile silence between them, and Virgil inhaled a shaky breath. The worry that had coiled in his stomach had now dissipated into butterflies, and it took every atom in his body to not rush forward and finally taste Logan’s lips on his own like how his dream-self had.

“Well, since I know about my feelings now, do you, perhaps, share… similar ones?” Logan asked. Virgil swore he felt his soul sing in his body, and he couldn’t help the smile that spread from his face.

“Yeah, yeah, for a while now, actually,” he replied, hoping that the red on his face would go away so he didn’t look as much like a smitten idiot as he felt like he was.

“Oh,” Logan said. “Good.”

They stared at each other for a bit, the occasional honk of a car being the only sound, before finally Logan spoke up again.

“Well, now that we have established that, do you think… you could kiss me?”

Virgil felt as if the sun was rising throughout his body, and so he nodded. He stepped closer until they were standing close enough that Virgil could feel Logan’s breath against his lips, which was already enough to make Virgil’s heart beat quicker than he thought was ever possible, and then he leaned in.

Seeing the city light up every night was nothing compared to how Virgil felt every cell in his body light up with the feeling of Logan’s lips on his, on how Logan’s hands went to Virgil’s shoulders as if to steady himself as he sighed dreamily into Virgil's mouth. But then, Virgil pulled away, as if he started to think any more sappy things he would surely combust into flames.

“Fascinating,” Logan said, his voice a whisper and in such a reverent tone that it left Virgil more breathless than the kiss. “I seem to be experiencing the same emotions I had felt in the dream when this had happened.”

“Cool,” Virgil replied, because that was the only thing he could muster up the emotion to say at the moment.

Logan separated himself from Virgil, yawning, which reminded Virgil of the time.

“Do you want to go to sleep soon?” Logan asked.

“No, I think I want to have a conversation about us now. Like, what our relationship is now and stuff, so I don’t have to worry about it tomorrow.”

“Alright. Let’s head inside, then. It’s starting to get cold out here.” As if on command, Virgil shivered as a breeze blew by. He leaned down to pick the mug up from the floor, which had now lost its heat, and brought it inside, Logan following. They then both spotted the mug Logan had left on the counter.

“Oh. I forgot the main thing I had come out here to do,” Logan said, Virgil stifling a laugh.

“Yeah. That’s fine though, you could still get your drink if you want.”

Logan went over to another cupboard and grabbed the kettle, placing it on the stovetop before opening the fridge to get water.

“Do you want any tea, Virgil?” He said, grabbing the water filter pitcher and pouring some in the kettle.

“Yeah, sure. My drink is cold now anyway.” Virgil dumped the rest of his drink in the sink, feeling slightly guilty over how much he had wasted. However, when he looked back at Logan turning on the stove, he smiled.

He could get used to this.

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Spotlight: Life Of A Troubled Celebrity Heartthrob Ch 5.1

Word Count: 7,019 *Between Both Parts

Colson woke up first as moonlight beat down on his face. He sat up and stretched his lean body. When he had planned this trip he hadn't anticipated falling asleep on the boat. He looked at Y/N and didn't have the heart to wake her but she slowly opened her eyes when he stirred.

"What time is it?" She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"It's just a little after midnight. We should get back it's a bit cold out here." He threw the blanket over Y/N. "You can go back to sleep while I drive us back."

"I think I'll come and keep you company." She stifled another yawn.

"If you insist. I won't complain." He kissed her long and hard.

"I wish we could stay this way forever." He sighed as he held her face in his hands.

"No you don't. You would probably get bored in a few minutes." She joked.

"Spend the night with me." His face was illuminated by the moonlight, piercing blue eyes pleading with her. He didn't want this night to end. All he wanted was to spend more time with her. Not in a sick perverted way but he just wanted to be close to her-to hold her and never let her go.

"Colson I-"

"All I want to do is hold you okay? No second base..unless you want-"

"Don't push it Baker." She laughed and swatted his shoulder.

"Okay let me get you out of here. Stay here it's warmer okay?" He straightened the thick blanket over her. Then went over to start the engine and steered the boat back to the estate. She snuggled under the warm blanket and dozed off.

"Sorry to wake you sweets but we're here. I would carry you out of the boat but we would both end up in the water." He laughed as she squinted up at him.

"Okay." She said her voice horse and her head still groggy.

Y/N stumbled across the gangplank, Colson laughed as he scooped her into his arms and carried her into the house. He took the steps up to his room, kicked the door open and laid her down gently on the soft bed. She even tried to protest when he removed her shoes but he pushed insisted.

"Colson that isn't necessary. I can do that myself. I'm not an invalid." She was wide awake now.

"Your feet are stone cold Bambi! Should I run you a bath?" He rubbed her feet but his efforts were futile.

"Hmmm, I think I'd love to soak in a warm bath right now." She rolled her neck and stretched out her body. Colson couldn't help but stare and was glad Y/N couldn't read his thoughts right now, because they were anything but clean.

"Am I allowed to join you? I'm cold too." He said as he stood and made his way to the bathroom.

"Sure why not? I'm sure the jacuzzi is big enough for both of us.." Y/N taunted him. She leaned back on the bed a naughty smile on her face. She couldn't understand where her sudden boldness came from? It was probably because she was sleeping on her feet and her brain wasn't functioning in its full capacity. I mean who takes a bath after 1:00am??

"Careful what you wish for Bambi.." He wagged his finger at her. "I just might call your bluff sweets." He ran the bath water and added some strawberry scented bubble-bath. He walked back to the bedroom and found Y/N undressing.

"Oh! Sorry-I didn't-you should have-" He sputtered, his hands flew to cover his crimson face. Y/N threw her head back and laughed.

"Really Baker! Is this your first time to see a girl half-naked?" She threw her play-suit in his face as she walked past him and into the bathroom. Colson caught it before it hit the floor and stood there confused. He didn't want to misinterpret anything but that action right there, seemed like an invitation to him. Maybe it was time for him to test the waters..literally.

Y/N had left the bathroom wide open..another sign. He proceeded cautiously through the door, there was no going back after this. Y/N was lying in the tub with her hair tied up in a messy bun, her eyes closed as if she was asleep. Colson stood at the door and removed his clothes silently. He slipped into the jacuzzi and sat opposite Y/N and waited for some sort of reaction from her.

"Took you long enough to get here Baker. I almost fell asleep waiting for you." She said drowsily. Her eyes remained closed.

"You're hungry? I've asked Alison, the housekeeper, to bring us something. We can eat once we're done."

"Hmmm." Replied.

Food was the last thing on his mind right now. He wanted to eat something that was sitting right in front of him-in fact he wanted to devour her-to ravish her until they were totally spent. But with a lot of difficulty, he restrained himself and told himself good things come to those who wait.

"You need help staying awake sweets?" He slid over to her side and pulled her towards him.

"What did you have in mind?" Her eyes flew open and he saw the desire ignited in them. Now was the time he would make his move. The look in her eyes gave him the green light and told him everything he needed to know.

"A few things.." He brushed his lips lightly against hers and heard her inhale sharply. He teased her with feather-light kisses until her breathing was ragged. Then he kissed her thoroughly, his tongue touching every inch of her mouth.

They were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. They sprang apart but made no move to answer the door. Colson's arctic orbs burned into Y/N's brown ones and no words needed to be said. He stepped out of the tub and wrapped a fluffy bath towel around her body, their nakedness no longer an obstacle. She was swept of her feet and carried into the bedroom and laid on the bed. Colson hovered over her as if seeking permission to continue. She pulled him closer and their lips melted into each other again-but the incessant knocking was a mood-killer.

"You probably should get that." Y/N whispered into his lips as he looked down at her, frustration contorting his features. He let out a low angry growl and hopped off the bed to answer the door. Y/N felt sorry for whoever was standing on the other-side.

"Jax! What is it? It's almost two in the morning!" Colson scowled as he open the door just a crack.

" Anyway-you requested food so I offered to bring it up-" He motioned to the food cart, "plus there is an urgent matter that need your immediate attention..before it hits the press in a few hours. Byron and Andre are waiting downstairs"

"Let me get dressed. I'll be right down. Leave the cart outside I'll get it just now." Colson shut the door and got dressed quickly.

"Is everything okay?" Y/N pulled the covers over her and sat up.

"Yeah-you can eat and I'll join you in a bit." He wheeled the food into the room and kissed her on the forehead before dashing out.

Y/N jumped out of bed and went to rummage through Colson's closet, in search of a T-shirt or PJs that would fit her. She came so close-again-but she wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed. She stood in the closet and noticed they was woman's clothing neatly stacked in a shelf, while the dresses and jackets were hanging on the rails.

Y/N's heart sank as she fingered the clothing. The clothes seemed fairly new and were about her size. Probably they belonged to one of his many girlfriends and he had forgotten to hide them away or he had meant for them to remain here. She gave herself a mental shake, grabbed a pair of pink PJs and slipped them on, even it meant taking a risk of him being upset with her.

"Thank you floozy, for leaving your clothes in Colson's closet." She muttered to herself, as she dived under the covers, her appetite gone. What did she expect anyway? Of course he had a constant stream of girls sleeping over and she was probably just another statistic. But she still wanted him. Even as the silent tears slid down her face and onto the therapeutic pillow, her heart still yearned for him, for his touch, for his presence and a whole lot more.

It wasn't long before she nodded off to sleep.

********************************************

"What do you mean I signed the wrong document?? Don't I pay you to make sure that never happens??" Colson flipped over the glass table in a rage. Andre loosened his tie and cowered in the corner, beads of sweat scattered on his forehead.

"Look Colson, why don't we all take five? Let's step outside so you can get a bit of fresh air and collect our thoughts?" Byron put his hand on Colson's shoulder and he shrugged it off, before storming into the cool night-or morning rather.

Dawn was breaking and while Colson loved to watch the sunrise, he didn't derive any joy from it today. It had turned from a beautiful day to a nightmare-his worst nightmare. He sat by the poolside and hung his head in his hands. How was he going to get out of this mess? Most importantly how was he going to explain it to Y/N? Yet again he had got her entwined in his drama. He ripped of his t-shirt and dove into the water, did laps back and forth until he was spent. The sun was peeping threw the clouds when he jumped out and collapsed onto the well manicured lawn.

Byron stood over him and handed him a towel and a robe after he had dried himself. Alison had begun to serve breakfast out on the patio and Jax was barking orders to the bodyguards. Security was on high alert as per Colson's instructions. Y/N would need a bodyguard as well, once the story got out.

"I'm going to go break the news to Y/N before she hears it from someone else. Please don't come anywhere near my room until I say so. If anyone so much as knocks..there will be hell to pay." Colson stormed back into the house and ran up the stairs to his room. Y/N was still sound asleep when he jumped in behind her. He put his arms around her and held her like it was the last time. After what he had to tell her he was sure she would never want to see him again, because it would throw her world into absolute chaos.

"Hmm..you're cold." She protested, still half-asleep.

"Sorry baby I had an early morning swim.. I just need to hold you right now. Is that okay?" He snuggled closer to her and tightened his hold. The talk would have to wait until she was well-rested. He made sure to switch off both their phones earlier on so he was safe for now.

"Hmm..You okay?" She asked.

"Yeah-please go back to sleep baby." He kissed her hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Andre please explain to me again how you messed up the paperwork? You always so articulate and careful. What went wrong this time? Your wife giving you problems man?" Byron paced up and down Colson's study, where he, Andre and Jax were having a closed door meeting.

"I had printed out the revised contract for him and Y/N to sign right? Then my sister-in-law asked me to process her papers for a marriage contract so I could submit them to the courts, then she could get her marriage licence. But I know someone that can take a shortcut and-somehow I mixed up the documents so-Colson and Y/N signed-in actual fact-not only a marriage contract but a marriage certificate. I don't know how I missed it..probably it was in between their documents and they mistakenly signed it. Well..it was my mistake but I then went on to submit it to court now-" Andre sighed and gulped down his third glass of whiskey, forgetting that it was only a little after 6:00am.

"Now some douche from the marriage office got his dirty hands on the documents and is blackmailing us for freakin' $5mil. Thanks for that Andre. Thanks a lot!" Byron spat. He pulled at his hair in agitation and threw deathly daggers at Andre.

"Look I know I messed up okay?? I'm probably going to be out of a job when Colson walks back down those stairs..I'm so screwed." Andre sank back into the couch and covered his face with a cushion. "Plus that guy has given us until noon to pay up or else.. "

"He's leaking it to the highest bidder." Byron finished off distastefully.

"How are we going to fix this Byron?" Andre sat on the edge of his seat.

"Unfortunately, you have hit a very sensitive spot..Colson is rather fond of Y/N and has developed a strong attachment to her. He doesn't know it yet but I think he's actually in love with her." Byron put his hands in his pockets and stared at the carpet thoughtfully.

"Yeah. I noticed.." Andre pursed his lips. "I'm finished aren't I?"

"Yeah." Byron nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morning sweets." Colson leaned over and kissed Y/N on her forehead. "You sleep enough?"

"Ye-ah, I guess..we had a pretty late night." She sat up and stretched out her arms. "Sorry for wearing these PJs-I needed something to wear." She said sheepishly.

"What?? No need to apologize sweets, they're yours." He smiled.

"Mine?"

"Yeah-" He shifted nervously," Look Y/N there's something I need to tell you." He swallowed hard not being able to meet her eyes.

"Y/N? Wow-this has to be serious then." She pushed her back and propped herself on the headboard. "I'm listening.."

Colson explained the mess up that Andre had got them into. Y/N's face went from confusion to shock. After Colson was done she sat quietly, staring into space.

"So..what you're trying to tell me is that we're married??!"

"Yes." He finally met her bewildered expression. "We can get an annulment-"

"No! I don't want that on my record." She raised her hand.

"Tell me what you want me to do? I know apologizing is pointless but I really am sorry Y/N." Colson held her hands and looked intently at her. The remorse clearly displayed on his handsome face.

"Say something baby. Please?" She still hadn't responded to his question and it was beginning to scare him.

"I'm sorry..I need to go home." She hoped off the bed using the other end, wanting to escape. The walls felt like they were caving in and she found it hard to breath. She had to put some distance between them so she could think straight. How could she be married to Colson Baker? Married??

"Y/N! Wait!" She slammed the bathroom door in his face and locked it. "Can we talk about this?" He leaned his head against the door.

"Please sweets? Can you allow me to fix this? We're in this together remember?" The door suddenly flew open and she stood there, tears streaming down her face. It tore his heart into a million pieces seeing her like that.

"How are you going to fix this Colson?! Huh?! Please tell me??!" She cried out and started to punch his chest. He grabbed her wrists and crushed her against his chest.

"I'm really sorry okay? I'm going to fix this. Trust me okay?" He cooed as he smoothed her hair with his hands. "It's killing me to see you like this-I can't-" His voice broke and he buried his face in her neck.

They sank to the bathroom floor still in each others arms. Y/N's cries were now sniffles and her head was lying on Colson's shoulder. This was a perfect disaster. How would he even fix it? Where would he begin?

"You want to get out of here?" He broke the silence.

"Yes. Please take me as far as possible. I don't think I'll be able to handle any of this right now." She pleaded with him, her eyes still brimming with tears. He stood up and held out his hand to her and she grabbed on it as she got up.

"You can take a quick bath while I take care of our travel arrangements. Don't worry about packing clothes or anything like that-all I want is you." He kissed her gently on her lips and left her in the bathroom.

She took a quick shower and dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. There was breakfast waiting for her at the corner table, so she wolfed down a slice of toast and cheese, washed down with a glass of orange juice. When she went downstairs in search of Colson she heard loud voices coming from the poolside.

"You're fired!" Colson shouted to Andre.

"Colson it was a mistake-" Andre tried to reason.

"One that is going to ruin an innocent girls life!" Colson shot back. "Just leave! Get out of my face!"

"Wait!" Y/N called out as Andre made his way to leave.

"Y/N, please stay out of this. Let me handle it okay?" Colson walked over to her and held her shoulders.

"Andre stays." She challenged.

"What? He's responsible for-"

"He stays." She said firmly.

"No he can't-" Colson protested.

"As your wife, I say he stays." His eyes softened, he dropped his hands and stepped back to look at her.

Everyone else stared at the exchange in awe. Andre breathed a sigh of relief and wiped his face with the back of his hand. He really needed this job, he was the sole breadwinner in his family. He had a lot of people that depended on him.

"Fine." Colson said with clenched teeth. "But you will owe me big time Bambi."

"Can we leave now before the circus begins?" She said.

"Yeah-Jax we're good?" Colson asked visibly relaxed.

"Sure thing boss." Jax replied.

"Great. Now I can go and give my wife a real honeymoon. We might even have to consummate the marriage. What do you think Bambi??" Colson put his arm around Y/N and gave her a knowing look.

"Don't push it sweetie." She rolled her eyes but her heart was hammering wildly against her chest. How was she going to handle being totally alone with the sexy, irresistible Colson Baker?

*********************************************

"Who's this?" Colson barked into the phone.

"Is that the way to greet you best friend?" Slim chuckled softly.

"Hey, how's it going dude? You alright?" Colson sat on the edge of the bed.

"I would be alright if you got me out of here. Today preferably. Otherwise..I might be tempted to bribe one of the nurses to-"

"Slim you know this is for your own good. You almost died man! I can't have that on my conscious again." Colson ran his fingers through his hair and sighed audibly. Slim needed to stay in rehab, but he didn't seem to understand that. This could be his only hope of staying alive, he had too many close calls so far.

"Listen, if you don't get me out of here this very minute then you're going to force me to do something that we will both regret. You more than me though-because you have so much more to lose." Slim said aggressively, "don't push me Col."

"That sounds like a threat?" Colson scowled. "You know better than to do that." He tut-tutted.

"Really?? How's that sweet doe-eyed obsession of yours? I wouldn't mind-" Slim taunted.

"Leave Y/N out of this okay! Touch her and you're finished. You will never work in this country again." Colson stood and gripped the phone tighter. His anger emanating through the phone.

"She might be sweeter than Dani...Now Dani was wild in the sack man, I can understand why you were hooked on her..it's a pity she had to die.." He mocked.

"You are the reason she's dead!" Colson shot back.

"Oh no, no, no. Don't give me all the credit man. You are as much to blame." Slim said deadly calm.

"Go to hell!" Colson cut the call and smashed his iPhone against the wall.

Slim had pushed him too far this time and he was going to pay dearly. How did someone claim to be your friend and then do something that contradicts the statement? How could he threaten Y/N, the only person that he had shown any remote interest since Dani?

"Hey Col, everything okay?" Byron entered the room with caution.

"I want Slim gone. I don't care how you do it but I want him gone." Colson punched his hand with force. "He dares to threaten me? Threaten Y/N?? After everything I've done for him and this is what….I want him gone." He said through gritted teeth.

"Okay," Byron sat down slowly, "I won't even ask, you can tell me whenever you're ready... But the jewelers are here, they're waiting in the study." He stood up again and turned at the door. "You can come down when you've-calmed down."

Colson went to freshen up and went to fetch Y/N from her room. He knocked softly and couldn't help but smile, when she opened the door for him. He dipped his head and kissed her softly on the lips and deepened the kiss as he felt her respond. He pushed her back onto the bed as he sought solace from the only place he knew. Sensing his need she poured herself into him and gave as good as she got. Colson finally broke off the kiss reluctantly, their breathing heavy and their eyes hazy.

"I really don't want to do this sweets, but..we have to go downstairs." He sighed and pushed back Y/N's unruly hair, "the jeweler is here and I'd like you to pick out your ring or rings, whatever you prefer is fine."

"Colson..you don't have to do this. This isn't even a proper marriage." Y/N protested.

"I know sweets but if we're going to do this then I suggest we play the part to the T. otherwise no one will believe our little story." He said as he sat at the edge of the bed.

"I thought we weren't giving in to the blackmailer's demands?" she sat up and tried to salvage her hair. She grabbed the brush on the dresser and swept it through her hair.

"We're not, we're going to beat him at his own game." Colson watched her, mesmerized.

"You okay there Baker? Would you like a spin?" She waved the brush in his face and laughed.

"Would you..brush my hair? No one's ever done that-well besides my stylist." He shrugged.

"Sure..if you really want me to.. I might as well start performing my wifely duties." The brush felt so good as it swept though his hair, he couldn't help but groan in appreciation.

"That feels so good." He closed his eyes and leaned into her. His hands went round her waist and before he could venture any further there was a loud knock.

"We're coming down in a minute-go-away!" Colson called out, his hands still wrapped around Y/N.

"We should go babe, its a quarter to eleven." Y/N didn't realize the slip but he did.

"Don't ever stop," he said.

"What?" she frowned.

"Don't ever stop calling me that," he pecked her lips and stood up. Y/N nodded dumbly, unsure how to respond.

"Let's go Bambi," he pulled her hand and led her downstairs.

The study was already occupied with the jewelers, Jax and Byron. Colson walked in and looked around, not at all pleased.

"Right this is what's going to happen-I want every one out, including you two," he pointed at the jewelers, "this moment is between my wife and I, no one else. We will let you know on how much to bill us once we've decided. I don't want her to feel pressured or uncomfortable so get," he pointed towards the door.

Everyone shuffled out wordlessly and Y/N turned to Colson with a frown.

"Was that necessary Baker?" she folded her arms.

"Yes," he simply said, "shall we begin Mrs Baker?" he pulled out a chair for her.

"Thank you Mr Baker," she smiled at him as she sat down.

"If you keep looking at me like that then I'm going to be forced to kiss you until you breathless," he stared into her big brown eyes.

"I dare you," she whispered, her heart racing.

Colson didn't need to be urged on any further; he pulled Y/N off the chair and brushed his lips over hers, torturously slowly and softly. Y/N strained her lips towards him in an effort to deepen the kiss and appease the havoc that simple act was causing in her body.

"I think we have to stop now-otherwise I won't be able to control myself," he leaned his forehead on hers.

"Okay," she replied, in barely a whisper.

"I know I promised to keep my distance..but I can't Bambi..you make it so hard..especially when you look at me like that," he gulped, "with such intensity-such innocence, I don't want to taint you," he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Colson..there's something I need to tell you.." Y/N diverted her gaze from him.

"Please don't say you want to leave-" he looked at her, in anguish.

"No that's not it," she shook hear head vehemently.

"Then what is it?" he turned her chin up and searched her face for answers.

"I'm not a virgin," she removed his hands from her face and went to sit down on the chaise, at the far end of the room.

Colson stood there, his hard-drive still trying to process the information that she had just laid on him. She wasn't a virgin? But that was good right? But why did she seem so sad, instead of relieved? Was she perhaps raped? Abused? He would make them pay, whoever it was they would pay, he would find them and make them pay, he thought. Y/N took his delayed response as a bad sign. She should have told him sooner, then maybe he wouldn't look so disappointed.

"Y/N, look at me," he sat next to her and held her hands, "I don't care okay? That's irrelevant sweets."

"What?" She frowned slightly.

"Sorry-that came out wrong-let me re-phrase okay?" he gave her a lopsided grin, "It doesn't matter to me okay? I know you have a past and it's nothing to be ashamed of sweets. Mine is probably ten times worse than yours," he laughed. "This doesn't change the way I feel about you okay?"

"I thought you would be disappointed," she said with despair.

"Never," he cupped her face in his hands.

"But you don't know the full story-" she protested.

"And I don't need to okay? When you're ready to tell me then you will-but for now please choose a ring baby?" They laughed and lightened the tension.

She finally settled on a simple ring in platinum with a ruby and a double row of round brilliant diamonds. They had matching wedding bands in white gold, encrusted with white diamonds. They instinctively exchanged weddings bands and smiled at each other, as they slipped the rings on each others fingers.

"You're mine now," he said before he kissed her softly.

"Does it work both ways," she countered as her heart fluttered.

"Try getting a divorce and you will see exactly how it works," he smiled at her as he held up his iPhone and took multiple shots of their rings and entwined hands. They started goofing around with the camera and took more funny photos and Colson posted the best ones on his social media; until Byron knocked on the door.

"Colson it's almost noon and the pressure is on.. you're good to go?" Byron peered through the door.

"We're more than good By, check my latest tweet," he scrolled through his phone showing Byron the photos and social media posts., "it already has over 20,000 views in less than ten minutes.

#shesaidyes #ilikeditsoiputaringonit #relationshipgoals #itsofficial #mrsandmrsbaker

"Well, this is very convincing! Hey, even I'm falling for it," Byron chuckled, "you guys have great chemistry so it will be easy for the media to eat it up."

"The only person I want to eat it is the blackmailer," Colson said as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

"Andre managed to trap him. We have managed to trace the call and he's on his way to pick him up-with the cops of course," Byron said with satisfaction.

"At least Andre did something right for a change," Colson scoffed.

"Babe, can I go and call my mom now? I promised to call her ages ago and I'm sure she's in hysterics by now.." Y/N put her hands on Colson's chest and Byron raised an eyebrow.

"Sweets, I can't apologize enough about all this-" he held her face.

"Don't- it's not your fault okay?" she kissed him again.

"I'll be up in a moment, let me finish up here okay?" Colson kissed her forehead and she left.

"So..Babe??" Byron laughed, "I got a feeling this isn't pretend anymore.."

"Shut up," Colson said, "when are you going to release the press statement? Is my jet ready? I need to get to New York for that charity benefit tonight."

"Yeah, I'm on it. We can leave for New York, whenever you're ready," Byron said.

"Great, I want to leave now. Can you ask Jax to pick up Y/N's friends and meet us at the airstrip? I'll go and make sure my bags are packed." Colson's phone rang as he made to leave.

"Baker," he said.

"So I guess congratulations are in order bro?" Slim said.

"What do you want??" Colson stiffened.

"Hey bro! Chill out! Why are you all up tight?? You just got married man! Loosen up," Slim laughed.

"You're kidding right? You have some nerve-"

"Dude, you need to chill okay? Are we still going to the charity benefit?" Slim asked.

Colson sighed as he raked his hair. "You bust out of rehab didn't you?"

"You know me too well Col," Slim cackled.

*********************************************

"I still can't decide what to wear!" Liv said, exasperated. She had gone through the closet about a million times and was even more confused than before.

"Don't worry, Michelle will be here soon," Y/N looked up from her phone.

"So has your Mom calmed down yet?" Lisa asked as she plopped herself onto the bed.

"No, she's freaking out for days!" Y/N frowned. Ever since they announced their marriage her mother was inundated with calls and was being hounded by the media again. Mrs Y/M/L/N was upset that Y/N got married without telling her and felt like she was way in over her head. She had even demanded Y/N catch the first flight home but she was adamant about staying with Colson. For now they had agreed to disagree.

"Hallooo there Mrs Baker!!" Ashleigh barged into the room and launched herself onto Y/N, causing them to fall off the bed.

"You could have just said hi like a normal person," Y/N giggled as Ashleigh straddled her.

"I leave you alone for a couple of days and you come back as Colson Baker's freakin' wife!" Ashleigh pretended to strangle her, "Oh-my-days! Will you look at the size of the rock on that ring???!"

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Y/N twisted the ring on her finger.

"Thanks for the heads up by the way," Ashleigh scowled.

"Sorry Ash, it just happened," Y/N said, out of breath, "Let me up!" she protested.

"Such things just don't happen-oh hey there Lisa! Liv!" she hugged them.

"Right, everyone in the sitting room now, we don't have much time," Michelle bust open the door and commanded everyone to start getting ready, "Y/N you're up first, Colson will be coming for you soon."

"Oh, I thought I was going with everyone else.." Y/N said.

"Not a chance, you're Colson's wife now so it's a whole new ball game. Congratulations by the way," Michelle smiled, "you need to get your make up done so you can stay in here. Let me just grab my bag, I'll be right back."

Michelle had chosen a Chanel emerald embroidered fishtail maxi dress. It accentuated all Y/N's curves, a low-cut back exposed her smooth tanned skin; fashioned from a luxurious velvet and lace material with hand embroidery all over the dress. The fishtail design and mermaid hem created a perfect silhouette. Her hair was swept up into a neat bubble-bun and a smokey-eye look for her make-up, her lipstick was a matte in crimson.

"You clean up nice Mrs Baker," Michelle admired her handiwork and handed Y/N a matching clutch purse.

"Good job as always! I can't even recognize myself," Y/N twirled around.

"Colson will not be able to keep his hands off you tonight, hope you're on birth control," Michelle joked and they laughed. There was a soft knock on the door and Michelle opened it on her way out, "hey Col, she's all yours."

Tagged: @kellysimagines

[midnightskyletters]

D-6

It's not even midnight and I can hear the crickets from the playfield outside. I have put some chilled music on, these days it’s a lot of soothing anime music, cause they make me feel at peace.

I stare at the road down from my window and I see a lot of cars pass by. Sometimes, I like to imagine what their lives are like, where are they going, what are they doing. You see, my mind is Hollywood. I could write a thousand stories about every single car and still come up with new ones.

My favourite story to imagine is the one of a lover rushing to get to the love of their life. The lovers on a run. The lovers who are being spontaneous. Those who are coming back from their first date. Those who are going on their first night of sex together. Those who will have their last night of sex together. But most importantly, those who love.

I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ve spent all my life yearning for a love that would be my fairy tale ending, my story, one where I’d be the main character. But it seems I got stuck with either the best friend or the guy who is nice and that would be good for you but you don’t see him that way. It’s a curse. 

In all my chase of happiness through someone else, sometimes I forgot myself. I forgot who I was, what I stood for, what my ambitions were, and I’ve allowed someone to make me feel guilty for being myself. Important thing is, I’ve outgrown that part of me and now I know not to make the same mistakes (but I did them 3-4 times before just to make sure, wink wink).

As I’m now nearing the end of a decade, I can say I feel like emotionally, I’ve lived through it all. Diseases of relatives, depression, moving, facing my own insecurities and issues, a pandemic, and you know what ? I fucking survived it. It might not be a lot for some, but for someone who always thought he would never make it past 27, let me tell you, every day is a win.

There’s a quote that says “I love you today more than yesterday but less than tomorrow”, and I think that also applies to self love. I love myself (more or less) today, but not enough for tomorrow yet better than I did yesterday.

Getting through the past 10 years, I reflect a lot on myself and what have I achieved so far.  I’ve done a lot for someone my age. Maybe more than I wish I had sometimes, but that's what makes me who I am today. I entered my 20′s afraid, scared, very homophobic towards myself. I’m a proud and loud out gay man, and have been out since I was 19 but it’s only after turning 25 that I started really accepting myself for who I was. 

You see, it’s easy to love others for what you lack. But it’s harder to love yourself when you’re as flawed as I am. I see in others what I don’t see in me.

I missed so many occasions and opportunities just because I was too afraid to go for it, and a decade has passed, and every time I kept thinking “I’ll do it tomorrow” or “I’ll try later”, I should have acted on it, cause now I feel like I’ve lost on years of what could have been. 

Instead, now, I’ve decided to enter that new era with arms wide open and no regrets. 

Why Midnight Sky Letters ? It’s cause it’s when I’m the most productive, creative, and the most at peace with my thoughts. When the calm cool air of the night brushes my cheeks, and I’m sat at my laptop, overlooking the city at my desk, and I’m sat giving life to stories in whichever form I can. I feel like I need someone to talk to and everyone will hear you but not many people will listen, so writing to strangers on the internet is the healthiest way to cope. I want to keep writing about my feelings, and everything that’s going on so I can exorcise it out of my body. I will need to keep this on track.

I’m shaking as I’m writing this and will probably spend tomorrow dreading it but sometimes you have to force yourself into uncomfortable positions to make the best out of it.

So I’m doing it.

There is this guy I really like, and have for the past 2 years, but I never saw it going anywhere at first. It was just a fantasy. We decided to stay friends after he turned my date down cause he said he didn’t want to ruin our friendship.  I’m not saying I want to ruin it now, I’m just saying that I know we’re strong enough as friends and as people to actually make it through whatever the outcome is. He’s the first person I can see myself build a life with.  It’s crazy isn’t it ?  I have a clear plan of what I want my life to be, and for the first time in a long time, someone fits in it again. We are so perfect for each other, completely in sync, and most importantly, we understand each other. We’re soulmates we once joked but... I didn’t mean it as a joke. And neither did he I think. He’s my soulmate, my best friend, my confident, my therapist sometimes and even my doctor calculating my caffeine intake, but all of the time, he’s the one person I want to talk to. I know it might be a long shot, but who knows.

Why should I do it ?

PROS: we get together, we keep getting on so well together, we start building a life together, we grow old, get a house, get a dog, get kids, and I can see myself reciting emo lyrics to him when we’re all older and reminiscing about our youths and all those gigs and adventures we went on.

CON: he decides we should remain best friends (hopefully) but it’s a little weird and we drift apart.

That would be my worst nightmare really. I’d rather have him as a friend than not at all in my life. I’ve lost too many people already. I don’t want to lose him. But I also need to know if I’m holding on to hope like a beaver to a twig and it’s strong enough to pull me out the river and onto the dam or if I should just give up with him and start maybe making the plan happen by myself and hope someone will come along the way, someone who will make me feel the same way he does.

I’ve made my decision. 

Dear whoever’s reading this, please keep your fingers crossed.

Tomorrow, I’m telling my best friend that I’m in love with him.

I will leave you on a quote from one of my favourite songs ever (in general and by Taylor Swift):

“I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you (I can never look away) I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you (Things will never be the same) I've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night (Now I'm wide awake) And now I see daylight”

Here’s to hoping !

[prettywordsyouleft]

Mr. Monday

Pairing: Park Jinwoo x reader

Genre: fluff / bar au

Warnings: none

Word count: 2420

Life worked in mysterious ways.

When you took this part-time position four months ago, you had been less than pleased that you would be working in a bar most nights. Now, you found the environment suited you well. There were nights, like tonight, where it was slower and you could study in between serving punters. And even on the nights where it was hectic with endless orders and live music blared around the trendy metropolitan establishment, you had grown accustomed to enjoying it.

You could leave the shy and awkward version of yourself at the door and enjoy the loose atmosphere whilst being paid to do so.

Still, you did prefer when you could play the music you wanted to listen to and have a quiet night to spend productively.

Or, as productive as it could be once he arrived.

Every Monday, the door would jingle at eight and you would glance up, your cheeks turning pink immediately. When his eyes found yours, he would smile graciously at you, tugging off his corporate suit jacket as he approached the bar.

And like clockwork, you would have his whiskey in a glass and placed on the counter by the time he was seated before you on a barstool. He grinned. “Ever the efficient one, aren’t you Y/N?”

“Can’t have my favourite customer go without his drink for long, now can I?” you replied as you tried not to smile giddily at the way he said your name.

“Favourite customer? Wow, I’m flattered,” he gestured and then leaned in closer. “But you can do better than that, right?”

“Jinwoo,” you breathed and he bit his bottom lip in satisfaction before lifting his drink to his lips. You turned to busy yourself for a moment to ease some of the heat you knew was residing upon your face. Glancing sideways at the man now unbuttoning the cuffs links on his shirt, you tilted your head a little. “How was your day?”

“It was long so this drink is much-appreciated, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome, Jinwoo.”

“It had become sort of a game. Who could say the other’s name more often in one night? There weren’t many people in this world who would address you so intimately every time you spoke, who put such effort into knowing your name and caressing your soul each time he uttered it. Jinwoo was unlike all the other men who walked into this bar. He treated you as if you were special, as if he came for you instead of the whiskey he cradled in his hand.

You often fooled yourself into believing that was the reason for his stellar attendance each Monday.

There was another element to the handsome man and that was how he seemed to undress from the successful CEO to someone who felt more approachable each time. His sleeves were soon rolled up to the elbows and after another sip of his drink, he popped the first four buttons of his shirt, thankfully remaining decent due to his undershirt. Still, watching Jinwoo do all this felt like a performance and you would often end up pouring yourself a cold glass of water to calm down as he arranged the glasses over the bridge of his nose.

Once appropriately relaxed, Jinwoo would chat with you. He’d ask you how university was going, offering up an office space in his building for you to use if you needed a quiet space away from your less than accommodating roommates. You would hear about deals he had made during the week or when any projects were frustrating him endlessly. Over the past four months, you had grown accustomed to sharing the evening together every Monday, Jinwoo remaining as you closed the bar up at midnight.

“You seriously don’t need to wait, Jinwoo.”

“But I do, Y/N,” he assured with a chuckle, pointing to the outside world. “It’s too late at night for a woman to walk alone to the station.”

“What a gentleman,” you gushed and Jinwoo nodded.

“I hope I am.”

“You are,” you confirmed and once you had everything in order, you turned to the man now standing up. And as usual, he slung his jacket over your shoulders, a hand pressing into the small of your back as you headed towards the exit.

Jinwoo had started walking you to the subway station after a month of knowing one another and you always wished you had more confidence out in the brisk air. Once you closed the bar’s front doors, you seemed to return to your shy, incapable of speaking three sentences in a row self.

Jinwoo never pushed you for more, merely happy enough to walk to you to the station in comfortable silence. And each time he would sigh when you handed back his jacket, looping it through one of his arms before driving his hands into his pockets. “Another night where I farewell you here, Y/N.”

“I hope you sleep well, Jinwoo,” you blurted out, blinking rapidly as you shook your head. “I meant, when you get home, that it’s not too hard to fall asleep.”

“With you on my mind, I might stay up all night,” he teased and you swallowed, trying to dislodge the sudden lump in your throat. He chuckled and stepped closer, tenderly brushing your hair away from your forehead. He sighed again. “Sleep sweet, Y/N.”

And with that, you would depart from Jinwoo’s intoxicating grip on your heart and mind, yearning for the start of a new week to arrive again.

And it did, just like clockwork. You had the worst day leading up to your shift that you were a little flustered in the first hour at the bar, clumsily dropping a glass and shattering it on the floor right as Jinwoo arrived.

He rushed to your side as you attempted to clean it up, taking the tools out of your hands. “Let me.”

“I’m the one who works here, Jinwoo,” you mumbled, trying to reach for the dustpan and brush he had swiftly taken but he started to move as he cleaned it up.

“Yeah, well I own the place so-”

“What?” you breathed and Jinwoo snapped his focus up to you, his face flushed before he swore under his breath and continued to clean up. You merely were frozen at his side, trying to register what he meant. When Jinwoo noticed your position, he grabbed your hand, jolting you back into the world, gripping on tightly as you flinched so you didn’t lose your balance. He searched your face momentarily before smiling weakly. “Go out back and catch your breath. I’ll be there soon.”

Dazed, you nodded numbly and jarringly made your way to where he directed you to go, amazed when the man walked into the break room and out the back door as if he knew the layout of this side of the bar like the back of his hand. You blinked when he returned and reached for your hand, gently tugging you up and taking you down the corridor to the boss’s office.

You had never met the owner before; your manager had been the one to hire you. And so you had never seen the inside of this space until now, shocked when Jinwoo opened the door after punching in a code and led you in, throwing his jacket down on the back of a leather couch. After rounding the piece of furniture, he sat you both down, examining your hand closely.

“Jinwoo?”

“Mm, Y/N?”

“What is all this?” you implored, casting your gaze to your hand and then gasping.

Jinwoo smiled sadly when you noticed your small cut. “Stay here, there’s a shard of glass in there.”

Following orders, you waited until he returned with the first aid kit and his hands wrapped around yours again. For a moment, you forgot about the puzzle before you and watched as he treated the wound. Your smile grew and without thinking about it much, you reached out to his blonde locks, gently running your fingers through it. Jinwoo paused for a second, his eyes darting to yours and then back to your injury. He smiled. “We’re feeling better?”

“Maybe light-headed. I wouldn’t be so bold normally,” you murmured and he chuckled.

“I guess the surprise is enough to startle you,” Jinwoo agreed and then pasted a bandaid over your injury. He grinned. “There, almost fixed!”

“Almost?”

His lips quickly pressed to the palm of your hand, over the injury. You stilled completely, hiccupping when your shortened breath felt laboured. Jinwoo laughed heartily. “Y/N, since when were you like this?”

“Since now,” you lamented with a whine, Jinwoo grabbing the bottle of water he had carried in and handed it to you. Thanking him silently, you gulped down enough water to stop the hiccups and then grimaced. “So, you kind of own the place?”

“It’s a long story, Y/N.”

“Today’s been a long day,” you replied, sighing heavily. “Enlighten me.”

“It’s always been policy for me to check how my staff members serve the clientele. Since I’m not in the office at night, I would come in as a guise and test the newbies out. However, you were not what I expected in the slightest.”

“I wasn’t very good?”

Jinwoo shook his head. “You made me feel at home. Funnily enough, I should feel that way already since it’s my own establishment. However, the first time I encountered you, I forgot I was here to check up on you. I had too good of a time.”

He stood up then, running a hand through his hair. “So I came back the following Monday. And from there, it kind of stuck. I didn’t know how to tell you who I was when you had painted me as some fancy CEO or corporate guy, Y/N.”

“Hey!” you cried with a shake of your hand. “That’s on you! You told me you had to work on deals for your products and delegate new staff changes…”

Your argument fell flat when you realised how easily that could apply to the bar. Lowering your head, you pouted. “But you wear a suit…”

“Ah, how I look? My Dad always told me to dress to impress and that a man with a business needed a fine suit. I can see where that kind of threw you.”

“We both threw each other.”

“I’ve been honest with you, you don’t have to worry that I have led you astray, Y/N.”

“Except for the whole boss thing.”

Jinwoo nodded again. “To be fair, I didn’t want to be your boss.”

“What?”

Sitting back down next to you, Jinwoo chewed on his lip as he deliberated his next sentence. “Who wants to be the boss of someone you like? I fell harder for you by the end of every Monday night. I guess the reason I never came clean about owning the place was that I didn’t want you to think less of me. Now I’m your boss and you’re my employee. It kind of changes things in your mind, huh?”

“Does it have to?” you wondered aloud, Jinwoo looking at you in surprise. “You make my Mondays feel better than any other day of the week. I really don’t want to lose that.”

“I don’t either.”

“You’re right though, I can’t just pretend I don’t know you pay my wage each week though,” you said and Jinwoo’s expression softened.

“So don’t.”

“Jinwoo, how can we have both? It either looks like favouritism if I start dating the boss or-”

You knew he wasn’t thinking when his lips came down on yours, and you decided to join Jinwoo with uncaring in the moment, kissing him back with demand. You had fantasised about this moment all too long, wondering how soft his lips actually were. You were surprised to feel a little bit of their roughness, but it only made the moment more real for you. Kissing Jinwoo felt like you had reached another level in your little game together and you didn’t want to stop; even when you were certain he had effectively stolen your breath away.

Jinwoo pulled back regretfully, only to press his forehead into yours as he caught his breath. “You are my favourite, Y/N.”

“See, this is reason why-”

“But let’s keep Mondays how they are,” he pleaded, looking at you intensely. “I love Mondays with you.”

“Can we?” you breathed and Jinwoo nodded immediately. You smiled. “What about the other days?”

He faltered, his brows furrowing together. You giggled. “Jinwoo, you can’t kiss me and then think I’ll accept Mondays as the only day we experience this kind of connection.”

“You want to date me? Really Y/N?” His face broke out into the widest grin, unchecked and genuinely excited. “Because I’d love that.”

“I thought you might.”

“Will I still be your favourite?” he asked cheekily as he pulled back enough to cup your face in his hands. “Maybe not your favourite customer though.”

“My favourite boyfriend?”

“I feel like a teenager again, you’re making me feel too giddy,” he confessed and you giggled, nodding in agreement. “Of course, we’ll have to face the whole, boss part in this predicament. However, there are a lot of people out there dating their boss.”

“You’re painting this as a plausible picture.”

“Hey, it’s not illegal for someone to turn up off the clock to the place he owns just because there’s a really cute bartender he wants to see.”

“Some might consider that a conflict of interest, Jinwoo.”

“I only care what you think about it, Y/N,” he rebutted, waiting to see what you would say next.

Smiling, you leaned in closer. “The only type of favouritism I expect is that you only go around kissing me when my shift is over. Whilst I’m on the clock, we’re strictly business.”

“Okay, deal. But only if you let me take you home every night you work,” Jinwoo stipulated and you laughed. He shook his head. “I’m serious, I hate walking you to the station. Let me walk you up to your front door too.”

“You’re trouble, Mr. Monday.”

“I think I’m worth it, don’t you?” Jinwoo cheekily questioned and you pecked his lips lightly.

“Can I call in sick for my shift? I know it’s short notice but I don’t think I can be very productive tonight.”

“Done. Want to go on a date with me instead?” Jinwoo offered and you laughed as you nodded.

“Maybe there are perks to dating the boss.”

_________________

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[dothwrites]

15.09 coda--the name of love practiced

Forgiveness is the name of love practiced amongst those who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family.--Henri J.M. Nouwen

---

Castiel carries the weight of Dean’s prayer. 

It rests around his neck like the sweetest of nooses, like the softest of shackles and he never wants to let it go. 

It’s been years since he’s heard Dean’s voice through the celestial fibers that keep him connected to the universe. Dean was an itinerate petitioner at best, and through the last few years, he’s stopped listening. But when Dean’s voice had clawed through the ever-present static in his mind, it had been enough for Castiel to stop dead in his tracks. 

He can remember before, what it was like--the terror dogging his every step, the constant running, blipping in and out of existence through every facet of Purgatory as he tried to stay ahead of the Leviathan. And through it all--Dean’s prayers followed him. Castiel had hoarded them close to his heart at the same time that he’d fled from them, terrified that the prayers would somehow alert the Leviathan to Dean’s whereabouts, terrified for Dean’s safety, horrified at everything that he’d done--

Castiel swallows and Dean’s prayer moves with the bob of his throat. 

He never told Dean that it’s not just words that get transmitted along the wavelengths of prayer. Feelings seep through the connection as well, if those emotions are strong enough. And Dean...Dean has the purest, strongest emotions that Castiel’s ever encountered. Whatever he’s feeling, he feels, with every facet of his body. 

The longing hasn’t changed in almost seven years. 

I heard your prayer, he’d said, because he’d also heard what was in Dean’s voice along with the prayer. The yearning had dripped off of every word and it was sweet, it was a balm to whatever he has in place of a soul--and it wasn’t enough. 

And it should have been. It’s everything that he thought he wanted--an apology, recognition, validation...Except it’s not enough, and he doesn’t know why, except that he does. 

There’s something that I need to tell you, Dean said, hope brimming in his eyes and spilling over his lips and Castiel...Castiel had been unable to hear it. 

---

Sam’s grief hangs over the bunker, even after he goes to bed. Dean floats through the empty spaces and cleans up the lingering remnants of their last chance. A glass put away here, a sigil scrubbed there. 

He comes to the knife still stained with flecks of Cas’ blood. 

Cas’ face had never wavered as the knife sliced through his flesh. He’d never hesitated as he made the decision to take on the Mark, a decision that Dean knows from experience would consume him. Once again, Cas never hesitated before he made the decision to throw himself onto the fire and that...

He doesn’t know what he would have said in Purgatory. Some horrific mangling of the words that have been trying to escape him for over ten years now, no doubt. A garbled version of love and want that got mixed up with self-loathing and anger and deeper, darker versions of the definitions of friend, of love, of need. 

And then Cas had said I heard your prayer, which that was all well and good, but there was more. Dean was done then. Done being a coward, done pretending that he didn’t want what he wanted. Done pushing Cas away with some twisted version of heroism motivating him. 

Cas has always deserved better than anything that Dean could give him, but Cas is still here in spite of that, and hell. Dean’s done talking himself out what he wants. 

Cas has pretty much laid all of his cards out on the table. He did a long time ago. 

And with everything that’s happened, Dean wonders why he’s still playing. 

---

He finds Cas in the kitchen. Why Cas likes to hang out here, Dean will never know; it’s not as though he’s hankering for a midnight snack. 

But then he thinks he understands--no matter that their kitchen is industrial in nature, meant to feed a multitude instead of a family, there’s still comfort to be found in the place where food is cooked. There’s a heart in the kitchen that’s missing from every other part of the bunker. Even empty, it speaks of a crowd. 

Maybe that’s why Cas ends up here so often. 

“Hey,” Dean says as he enters. Cas’ head flicks towards him in a quick, convulsive movement. He must be exhausted. It’s rare for Dean to get that kind of reaction out of him. 

“Hey,” Cas replies. His eyes are soft around the edges, not with the hard, hunted slice of past weeks. After a moment, Cas asks, “Did Sam go to bed?”

The thought of the loss lingering in the hollows of Sam’s cheeks and in the downturn of his mouth is another thing that’s going to haunt Dean’s passing thoughts, but now isn’t the time for that. Now is finally the time for him to take something for himself. 

“Yeah, he’s still pretty tore up over Eileen leaving.” Something complicated passes over Cas’ expression and it’s only after a moment that Dean realizes why Cas might be conflicted about that statement. Perfect. 

“Hey, look, Cas, I gotta,” he says at the same time that Cas is saying, “Dean, there’s something that I need--”

They both break off, embarrassed, and wait for the other to speak. When it becomes clear that neither of them are taking the other up on the invitation, Dean gestures to Cas. 

With uncharacteristic fidgeting and hesitation, Cas begins. “I never wanted to leave. Not just...not just then.” Cas’ mouth dips downwards in pain and Dean wants nothing more than to wipe that expression off his face, make it so something that wretched never feels comfortable settling into Cas’ features ever again. “I told you a long time ago that I’d rather be with you than anywhere else.” Cas swallows. The tip of his thumb brushes over the corner of his mouth. When he meets Dean’s eyes, it’s with all the self-assurance of an angel and with all the hope of a man. “That’s never changed.” 

Dean’s knees go weak. He has to grab onto the edge of the table to keep himself upright. It’s a move that brings his hand perilously close to Cas’. He feels the warmth as Cas’ hand settles over his, easy and natural as breathing. 

“Fuck,” he breaths, heat coursing through his body. He locks eyes with Castiel, not afraid, he’s already faced the worst and come out through the other side. “Cas.” His fingers twitch and Castiel’s grip tightens. “You must know. You...you have to know.” 

“Always,” Castiel says, with the patience and understanding of eternity. 

---

So Dean doesn’t say it there in the kitchen. 

But he says it later that night. 

He whispers it into the fine hairs of Cas’ temples, into the stubble-rough skin of his cheek, into the upwards curve of his lips, and into the cleft on his chin. He says it through spit-slick lips, gasps it and murmurs it and pants it until he has no voice left. And even then, he tries to say it through the fingers carding through Cas’ hair and the soft brush of their noses together. 

Cas curls up behind him, solid and immovable, and Dean lets himself sink back into that warmth. He rests his hand over the arm curved protectively around his belly. Against the back of his neck, Cas smiles. Cas’ fingers splay wide on Dean’s stomach. And this time, Dean takes the invitation and slots his fingers neatly into the spaces left for him. 

And then, on the cusp of sleep, he says it again. The words that he never thought he would say to someone other than his blood, the words that he never got to say before, the words that never made it out into the air of Purgatory. 

“I love you,” and they come as easy as anything, as natural as Cas’ smile, or their clasped hands, or a thousand other things that Dean never thought would be possible at all. 

“I love you,” he repeats. The words echo behind him and Dean falls asleep with the knowledge that the world is still ending, that God still has them in his crosshairs, that his little brother’s heart is broken, and that he might still lose it all, but also that he wasn’t too late. 

That he was never too late. 

---

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing my darling) i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)--e.e. cummings

---

tags! message/reply if you want to be added or removed

@screamatthescreen @queenvee08 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @dizzypinwheel @stay-inside-the-salt-ring @deansbff @spaceshipkat @rogerslouis @espejonight28738 

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 6th, Friday 00:10

Starting with notes, huh?

well usually I don’t give songs to these clips, only one for the weekly chapter. though I have a spotify playlist for this, and I wrote this chapter to this song on repeat at 2 am at night... so I’d recommand doing the same for this and the next clip. it is the weekly song as well Agnes Obel - Familiär

__ __ __

Never in his life had Jens been downstairs as fast as he was this night. Heart beating vast in his chest to a degree that should be worriying. Two steps at once. Three steps at once. His hand had found the door knob blind, as his eyes were transfixed on the shadow outside, behind the milky little window. He only wore his sweats and barely managed to grab a shirt to throw over before opening the door.

There he stood. Lucas. Hair damp from the light rain he had walked through. Perhaps rain was just about to become their weather. A nervous smile graced his lips, as his eyes darted up and down from the ground at their feet to Jens’s face.

It suddenly hit him, that he was here at his house at midnight on a thursday.

„You know that there is a curfew in place?“ Jens tried casualy as he wasn’t sure what to expect from this awfully dreamlike situation. Maybe it was just that, and Jens was actually fast asleep in his bed upstairs.

Lucas grinned at his words, before he reconsidered and pressed his lips shut into a thin line, thinking.

He looked up then, finally meeting Jens’s gaze.

„I almost was here on time, so I think I am safe. I’ve even got my own pair of sweats this time.“

The implication left Jens at a loss for words. So much so that Lucas swallowed uncomfortably before resuming to explain his sudden appearance after three days of ontensible avoidence.

„I’m leaving for Utrecht tomorrow at 10 and I won’t be back til late sunday evening. And knowing I won’t be able to see you, I decided to come here. It was a bit on a whim to be honest. But I think we need to talk.“ Jens only nodded silently. 

„Also,“ Lucas proceeded to take his backpack from his shoulder, to open it up. Jens found him pulling out a paper box, that had been placed at the top inside. The lid was off the next second and it presented Jans with a store brought piece of cake, that definitely had seen better days. It’s tip very much dented, buttercream spread throughout the box itself. It was the cutest and best gift he had ever gotten, as it hold a single candle and a small written note: Happy birthday

Lucas cleared his throat, which made Jens look up, to find the boy infront of him blushing slightly as he actually began to sing a birthday song to him. In a whisper so soft that the rain almost swallowed it up. Jens stared at him mesmerised, as he was hit by a whirwind of emotions. From absolute adoration over this boy to confusion and dispair, beacuse not just fifteen minutes ago, he was so sure that Lucas ignored him and that Jens had fucked it all up.

„Fuck, forgot to light the candle.“ Lucas exclaimed startled. And Jens decided to just let this minute take him whereever this would go. So he laughed and leaned forward, closing his eyes and blowing the flame out in pretence. Once his eyes were back on Lucas, he was greeted by another wide smile, this time it stayed, until the boy across of Jens shivered. The lightness of the moment gone with it.

„I can also go. This might have been a stupid idea to begin with.“ Lucas rushed his words out, trying to  cover up his nervosity, about to flee from Jens’s frontstep.

„We just have to be quiet, when we go upstairs, don’t want to wake my mom or sister at this time. I agree. We should talk.“ Jens stepped aside to let the boy in, who took off his shoes and then both of them were tiptoeing up the stairs, only daring to speak again, once the door to Jens’s room closed behind them.

Lucas put his backpack at the foot of the bed, before sitting down on it, the box with the cake carefully placed beside him. Jens followed him to take a seat on the other side. The two of them looking anywhere but at each other

„I’m sorry.“ They both said almost in unison, making them giggle at the odd coincidence.

„Why are you apologising? I was the one who kissed the girl.“ Jens said confused, risking a glance over. Lucas was kneading his hands, seemingly sorrowful, for a reason Jens didn’t understand. 

He waited. And waited. And waited.

As long as it took for Lucas to give him an answer.

He got one in from of another question.

„What do you want out of this?“ 

„I...ehm...I don’t get it. What?“ Jens replied and bent down to try to get a better look at the boys face staring in to the folded hands in his lap.

„I promised myself, when I came here, I wouldn’t fall for the straight guy again.“ Lucas was barely able to keep his voice from trembling as his eyes looked dangerously close to get teary. It became clear to Jens that maybe he had gotten it all wrong, that the boy hadn’t ignored him solely for a misguided kiss.

„The others had talked so much over all your female conquests after Moyo had seen you with that girl. I’m not sure if I made this between us into more than it really is. In Utrecht I was in love for so long with my best friend who was straight. But he was always so close, and touching, and jokingly flirting with me, that I could almost imagine more, when there never was a chance for it to happen. And I really don’t want to go through this again. I can’t“ Lucas seemed to have collected enough courage to look up at Jens, with tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. It broke Jens’s heart. „I really can’t, Jens. I can’t, so if you are just playing around, or are curious but not actually interested, or are just that close with your firends, please, let me know, so I can stop hoping for more.“

Jens had been uncertain about his feelings for the last week, shocked by it’s surprising appearence, as he never deemed it possible to yearn for another boy in this way. That was until this moment right here, listening to the boy’s distress. For whatever reason his heart had decided on Lucas and Jens would just have to accept it. Labels be damned.

He took a deep breath, before reaching over to place his hand on Lucas’s, taking hold of it.

„I don’t know what I am, to be honest, but I know that you are not falling for a straight guy it looks like.“

There was the second of utter silence between them, as they hold their breath over the realisation that Jens had just thrown his strongly believed sexuality out of the window. Good riddance, he thought as in an blink of an eye, Lucas began to cry, dropping his head onto Jens’s shoulder, the boy’s hands grabbing onto the fabric of his shirt, leaving Jens to do the only thing he could think of. He pulled the crying boy into a tight embrace, trying to hold both of them upright. Gently kissing the top of his head as good as Jens could from that angle.

He supposed that he wouldn’t really catch much sleep tonight. His alarm would ring at 6:30, just enough time to get Lotte ready for school and drop her off. So roughly six hours left.

And for the first time, in a long, long time, he didn’t mind at all.

[reogou]

vm | haikyuu [random]

          ↳  in which you longed for something. you yearned for something that is too impossible to wish for.

PAIRING: random hq character x gn!reader

GENRE: angst (?)

WARNING/S: none

A/N: this was too self indulgent please don't mind this- i wrote this out of impulse so yeah expect some shitty writing ahead cienfkskf

—  11:59 PM

The blazing light from the screen is irritating your eyes, yet you cannot take your eyes off of the laptop. Even though you were only scrolling on Tumblr, reading the same posts over and over again as you reload the said page. It was almost midnight, you think. How long have you been staring at this screen? For about 5 hours, you guess?

Yet not even one message popped up from his profile.

The sigh that came out from your lips were a bit loud, although you didn't really mind your sister hearing it. Not that she could, anyways. She is, after all, fast asleep at the top bunk above you.

Man, this is going nowhere.

As you were about to click the X button of the tab, a notification popped up on the bottom ight corner of your screen. You have always hated this notifications, distracting you from what you were doing and hearing that annoying ping sound all the time. Maybe you should turn off the settings? Nah, later. Too much work.

You changed your position and propped your elbows on the mattress. Wrong decision. The mattress is irritating and hard underneath, so you had no choice but to lay on your side and finally looked at the screen. It felt like a horse just kicked your heart and run with it when you saw where the notification came from.

Messenger.

At some point, you probably thought of him immediately. If you recalled correctly, he would sleep at around 1-2 am, so it is reasonable for him to be awake at this hour despite having classes. Wait. That's not the main problem here. You let out a scoff, recalling how pathetic you were a while ago.

Did you actually think that he'll message you like before? Even before last year's school year ended- no, even when you first started talking through online, it was always you who's sending him a message first, looking like an attention seeker.

Ah. Am I really that pathetic... to the point were I even had my hopes up because of a single message?

Nevertheless, despite your crumbling emotions, you still checked the message you received. It would be rude to leave the person hanging.

Oh...

You stared at the profile in front of your screen, that oh so familiar profile that you almost see everyday.

Him again?

It was none other than one of your guy classmate who you don't know if he's hitting on you or what. Eversince god-knows-when, he has been messaging you about this and that, being all affectionate and calling you names such as baby and love. You don't really mind since you just go with the flow and reply to him, although you do realize that some replies you sent were a bit... let's just say painful for someone to send to a person who has feelings for them. Well, that is if he really likes you.

Opening the chat box, you saw that he sent a voice message to you. Must be a song cover again. You played the voice message and clicked on the other tabs to keep you entertained while listening to his voice. Not gonna lie, he does have mediocre voice, although you aren't a professional. It is reasonable since he's part of the choir club too.

His voice was soothing, alright. Not to mention how romantic it is to receive a voice message from someone during midnight.

After listening to the whole song, you clicked on the chat box again and stared at the voice message. Your thoughts were slowly wondering off when you remembered him out of nowhere.

You appreciate your classmate's effort. Really. It's just that... it isn't enough. This wasn't want you wanted. You wanted it to be him. You wanted it to be his voice. You wanted it to be his profile that pops up everytime you glance at it.

God...

Thinking back, he also sends you voice messages and song covers a while back too. Though it might be too much to ask for those times to comeback again.

You let out another sigh, more heavy this time. 

Goodness... you miss him. So damn much.

© reogou 2020. all rights reserved. do not steal nor modify. reposting is strictly prohibited. all characters used belongs to its respective owner.

[dulcetminds]

some (concept) playlists

find my spotify here ✨ & my fandom character/ship playlists

this page is updated monthly!!!!

💫 monthly, yearly & get to know me playlists:

 monthly mixtape: updated daily and refreshed every month with no correlation to anything what so ever.

twentytwenty: a song for each day of the year

the soundtrack to my life

my favourites

pass the aux cord, fool: car vibes

🍾🌉 playlists based off cliché concepts:

coming of age indie romcom soundtrack: cigeratte burns on film, a first kiss that tastes like beer and chapstick, and laughter falling on train tracks

not another coming of age soundtrack: red party cups and the never-ending feeling of nostalgia

Mother Nature reclaims: a soft apocalypse mix

tragedy in the dark: set in the 90's, you're driving at night on the highway, passing under street signs and street lights that illuminate your lovers tired face as they trace circles on your thigh

rise up!: (a futuristic teenage rebellion playlist) you live in a world full of holograms and plastic food, the government is corrupt and somewhere out there is a bunch of rebels that are fighting back

an angels kiss in spring: it’s the roaring 40′s and you hit the town in bold red lipstick, curled hair, flared dresses & traditional swing

a wispy field of sunshine: there's something alluring about falling in love under the sun, sipping on raspberry lemonade & kissing someone who tastes like chapstick

the air is fresh out here: i am lost beneath the earth; dirt and moss fill my lungs and i cough up ivy and rose petals as the trees whisper my name so soft, it gets caught in the wing of a butterfly floating by

3am dancing with my lover: fairylights are hung low around the kitchen, my lover has tired eyes full of wonder and we trip over our own two feet, laughter pumping our hearts alive

the last dancers at midnight: my prom could have been better so we're gonna visualise it like a teen romance movie; tired feet, starry eyes & a tender kiss under the disco ball in your high-schools' hall

even my phone misses your call: 'hey, this is [redacted] please leave your message after the beep!' 

you’re so nice to come home to: finally moving into a small apartment with your lover; succulents adorn the windowsills and you both have a love for vintage polaroids and dream catchers — a dreamers dream

I've been in love with you forever: best friends that live next door to each other & know one another like the back of their hand, connected windows, rooftop talks, sleepovers, & everything that comes along with we're best friends & i don't want that to change but i am definitely in love with you

found you in this life: my mother once told me that some of the people we meet in this life, we knew in a past life and it’s up to us to decide where it goes from here

raspberry stains: spring flings includes squashing raspberries between finger & thumb, and dancing under the sun

rollerskating disco rink fever: we're twelve years young & there's a disco ball highlighting our hair as we dance the night away & i'm pretty sure we've happened to scuff the linoleum floor

endless summer afternoon: hopping from shadow to shadow, blisters on our feet; summer, summer, summer!

summer ate me alive: and I want nothing more than to sleep through the next three seasons

ragtag band of misfits from the year ‘87: group of four trying to solve the murder mystery of their late best friend / everyone’s hiding something / he might be in love with the boy he’s known since childhood

[our hands are brushing against each other as we walk]: i want to slow dance with you in the middle of the street

hey, new kid!: its highschool and life is full of rumours and giggling girls & boys with sharp teeth and then english class rolls around ━━ and did the principal just introduce a new student?

🧚🏻‍♀️ specific concept playlists (mostly based on moments and emotions that I've experienced & can’t get over):

head’s a buzz!: stoned out of my mind, I'm pretty sure I met the girl of my dreams last night

 I should be sleeping: but i am walking aimlessly under street lights trying to forget your face, your taste, your voice; with vodka stained cheeks and chipped nail polish

pity party for two: the sudden realisation that the future is scary and we're two lost souls stuck in love with people who helped us grow

we’re under the same stars: It’s talking under the stars till the sun breaks through the trees with him, who makes your stomach ache full of laughter and although the wind is cold against your skin and the sleeping bag is thin, he burns just as brightly as the stars in the night sky, and you want to exist between 3 and 4am forever.

I fell in love for one night: he kissed my shoulder & held me tight

moments left unsaid: I love every part of you when it’s loud, when it’s silent, when you don’t know it at all (basically falling in love with your friends in the moment over the smallest of things like the way they dip their head back to laugh or hide their smile behind their hand or when they slow down waiting for you to catch up or pull you aside to ask if you’re doing okay, etc)

angel in disguise: can angels fall in love?

skate park shenanigans: I spent a the hours 8-11pm at a skatepark with my friends and we don’t even skate but this is the specific energy those hours gave off

you’re dreaming beside me: & I’m dreaming of you

how to be soft, sad & content at 4pm

I wish we could live forever: knowing someone you love is gonna die is the one of the hardest things you’re ever gonna witness

remember when we were in love?: 2015: yellow. open roads. a boy. a girl. my house. high school musical. clouds. stars. a pillow. sunflowers. beauty and the beast. skype calls. a bear. / 2017: a girl. blue, blue, blue. / 2019: a girl. a boy. picnics. skateboards. burgers. your house. an empty promise.

the pretty reckless: my friends fall in love too easily

the ceiling is staring back at me: it’s 1am and I'm thinking about everything and anything

me against the world, vol. 1

me & my apathetic brain: basically Russian roulette with I’ll die anyway by girl in red & just a girl by no doubt

🏳️‍🌈🌈 lgbt+ playlists:

this is for the gays!: for pride month 2019, gay bops to rock your socks to

all I see is her: girls r great!

we should fall in love or something: just kidding... haha... unless?

I don’t wanna b ur friend, I wanna kiss ur neck: yeah, it’s based off I wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red & also my ex but we’re gonna take the former

please look at me the same!: my bisexual teen angst

🦋🏹 ‘old groovy, 70′s, 80′s, 90′s etc music’ playlists:

butterfly dust: old time music that goes together

groovy, groovy: 70′s, 80′s, 90′s

lovestrucklovestruck: nothing goes wrong when you live in your head

she’s gold dipped & cherry wine kisses

funky glow

🥁🍒 genre specific playlists:

metamorphic: rock n roll

devils advocate: it’s like white noise before you enter hell (mostly ghostemane)

you’re not indie till: you skate, own a pair of hot converses, have good fashion taste, drink ice coffee and and and

monsters live amongst us: hiding in plain sight, the people we call our friends / a horror pop playlist

hazy affection: anxiety reducing songs and study beats

softly, sweetly: relax your eyes & dream of simpler times

bubblegum pop: the radio is overrated but here we are

glazed eyes, cherry skies

darkness looms overhead

magic under fingernails / under veins

state of mind: kinda like rap but not, definitely an easy listen to while stoned

moon rockets: fly me to outer space where we’ll become another star in the night sky.

dream & folk pop

my dreams reach the stars: my mind is far away from here / starry-eyed and captivated

local neighbourhood party: songs I'd bang my head to at a party

heavenly hymns

fluorescent heartbeats

take me away, into the night

if you see me listening to this, look away: literally Disney musicals mainly Disney’s descendants & zombies

autumnal breeze: a mix of bedroom pop & 80′s tunes

blueberry feelings: is this soundlcoud or tiktok?

untamed glory: the songs dont vibe together as well as they should but i guess thats ironic given the name of this mixtape

all strung up: my favourite female pop songs & then there's sunflower, vol. 6 by harry styles

candyfloss kisses: baby pop

and that’s on tiktok luv: literally what it says

candle lit afternoons: candles + rain = a gentle quiet in it’s purest form

tenderness: soft, quiet, yielding; murmurs at dusk & the playing of hair

my bed is the warmest place: for rainy days & the chill in your nose

🚀🍁🍓 playlists to listen to when your doing this specific thing:

classic picnic bitch: (cute songs that give me picnic vibes) and we bond over a pack of UNO cards and strawberry-filled desserts

beach bums, baby!: a beach-y playlist

hotboxing ur friends car: get high w/ me!

🥺💫🌞🌻🤩🐝 playlists to grow & fall in love with yourself to:

falling in love w/ myself !!!!!: I'm still learning how I work

then I defy you, stars!

seventeen: I made this when I was seventeen and getting over my first heartbreak and realising that I should never wait for people who can only give half back

no negative vibes here!

💌💖 my romance / love centred playlists:

dancing in my room to the sound of you, you, you (middle school crush vibes)

love cluster: and i guess there are lot of love songs out there but there are also a lot of songs that aren't about love that got me feeling like i'm in love so which is it

lovelorn: (a unrequited love playlist) and we yearn for the hearts we cannot hold; lovelorn, lovelorn, lovelorn

our love has gone cold: I love & I loved

whimsical lovers falling out of love

baby boy blues: fell in love for a day with a boy whose smile is contagious and ever-lasting

you gave me panic attacks & I called it love: unsure if you’re in an unhealthy relationship? leave them.

regret in the simplest of forms: I could have loved you / I think a small part of me did

my favourite ‘what if’: soulmates who weren’t meant to be

seeking love among cruel hearts: perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. but then perhaps this is what lovers are.

it’s a long way down from your window: everyone’s favourite secret relationship trope

heartbreak hotel

i’m yearning for his heart while he gives me his body: I love you, don’t you love me too?

make out w/ me?: songs I'd kill to make out with someone too

miss you forever: sad pop love letter

I liked you better in my dreams: the idea of them has taken root in your mind and it’s much different to how they really are

little bit in love with u: alterous attraction? we KNOW her

drowsy cacophony of love

tracing you back to the roots of my house: I'm sifting through the memories of us, where did we go wrong?

love; a choice or a feeling?: and it is both I suppose, it is a feeling, it’s happiness and soft giggles, faint blush. and then it is a choice, a choice to stay with them or leave. it is a choice to not only love them, but yourself too.

tenderly, tragically: this used to be a collab playlist with someone who loved me fully and unconditionally, things have changed since, but this is whats left; it's our story compiled into a playlist

second chance at love: you make me hard, but she makes me weak

lonely in love: (it was supposed to be just casual sex but fuck, I think I'm in love with you)

silent lovers: skinny love (n.) a type of love where two people are in love with each other but are too shy to admit it

my first love: they say your first love never dies, and love, they’re right

my lover is a liar: victim to broken promises and false truths by a boy who died when he gave me his heart

love locket type of love: I loved you in secret !!

the charms of love: don’t fall in love with the moment & think your in love with the girl! (yes, she’s american by the 1975 lyrics)

almost lovers

💸💄💅🏻⛓ playlists that give off bad bitch energy:

rich girl$: my cash flow will never ever end

kiss the boys n make em die!: femme fatale, girl revolution, girl power

GIRLS. FOOD. GEAR: loosely inspired by people by the 1975

girl, interrupted

you’re like a rhinestone pick-up line: picture this — a girl with a hard attitude that you can’t just seem to get off your mind

back on my bullshit: just got my heartbroken; revamped!

👻👽 my halloween inspired playlists:

hallohalloween: basic halloween playlist

 the fae know my name: humans beware the manic pixies & lip curling fae for although they don't lie they are cunning creatures with kind eyes!

frothy vampire chick meets soft green witch: red fanged lover & a green house full of potions, spells & succulents

sirens lament: sharp teeth hidden under a pretty face

murder at the casino: (in breaking news: monster hunters just cant seem to catch a break!)

the howling

witchy renaissance

fuckin vampires, man!

🥀 if I were series (playlists that only feature one artist based off something specific):

if I were to dance in a faerie ring to hozier songs: maybe I want to fall in love with a faerie and be under Hozier’s rule

if I were to live my teenage years to Lorde songs

if I were to get high by the beach to skeggs songs: BIG greening out energy

 if I were to fall in love to tom rosenthal songs: tom rosenthal songs that make me feel like I'm in love!!

if I were to reminisce about heartbreak to LANY songs:

Hogwarts Houses:

🌻 Hufflepuff

🥊 Gryffindor

🐍 Slytherin

📘 Ravenclaw

[obviouslyelementary]

It’s about family - chapter 3

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24198928/chapters/58289167

Warnings: Remus (because you know, Remus)

Ships: Demus!

------------------

Chapter 3 - It’s party time!

After the meeting at Logan's ended, Patton went home with this new curious feeling inside his heart. In five days, he was going to meet Roman's brother, someone Roman had never even mentioned before, and not only that, but someone Virgil knew and disliked. That sent a weird feeling down his tummy, since he was always the guy that liked everyone and tried to befriend everyone, so thinking about someone his best friends didn't like made him feel bad. Like he shouldn't like this person, even if he usually liked everyone.

However, if he was like Virgil and Roman described him, then maybe Patton would just naturally not like him. He hoped that would be the case. He really didn't want to dislike anyone just for his friends' sake.

When he got home, it was way past midnight, and he was happy to see the living room empty and everything neatly organized. As he walked upstairs, he checked Thomas' room, seeing him asleep on his bed, or at least pretending. That was something. Patton then wished him good night softly and headed into his bedroom, trying not to think about the party on Friday so he wouldn't first, get anxious, and second, create expectations. He was always the worst when it came to expectations.

After his night ritual, he got into bed and put his glasses away, before grabbing his book to read a bit. He always read at least a page from a book before sleeping, made his mind relaxed. As he did, he allowed himself to be captured into the world of fantasies, and forget about the party and work and everything all together.

All he wasn't able to push away was the yearning feeling that those stories gave him. Feelings of hope, unconditional love, happy endings and impossible to reach dreams. And as he fell asleep, he couldn't help but wonder if somehow, in another parallel world, he had some soulmate waiting for him, with their arms open. He could only dream of it.

Someone who would come and be with him forever.

 If Patton had any time to worry about Friday night, he was sure the week would have passed like minutes during a boring class. But between taking Thomas to school, working, organizing the house, talking to Thomas during dinner, and doing everything else he had to, hours passed like seconds, and when he least expected it, Friday had indeed arrived.

Thomas luckily came home from school earlier on Fridays, so he could try to calm his dad down on his insanity of thoughts and worries.

"Thomas, Roman told me this is a fancy party! For fancy people! I don't have fancy clothes!"

"Dad, you literally have a black suit. That's all you need!" Thomas insisted, sitting on Patton's bed while he ate some cereal. "Besides, you will look cool no matter what you wear! You're the best!"

"Oh Thomas, kiddo, that's so sweet of you to say, but I know it's not true" Patton said, pouting at Thomas and showing him his phone. "Roman told me to 'not dress like myself'. I really don't want to disappoint. Roman doesn't like his brother. If I show up all... bad looking, it will look bad for him!"

"First of all, I think Roman should like his brother. Second of all, who cares? Dad you're going to kill it with your jokes!" Thomas said, smiling bright and jumping up after carefully placing the cereal bowl on the nightstand. "Come on! Let's find something for you to wear!"

Honestly, when Patton called Thomas for help, he expected his kid to just hang around and laugh at his clothes. But Thomas was so grown up and sweet, and he helped Patton choose the best of the best, the top of all clothes he had, even checking inside some dusty drawers to make sure they weren't missing anything.

In the end, the chose a simple fit. Since they weren't sure if it was too formal or not, they went safe: a nice button up light blue shirt, a grey vest on top, no sleeves, and black suit pants. The shoes were also fancy, colored leather brown, and when Patton looked at himself in the mirror, he barely recognized his own face.

"Oh I look... good" he whispered, smiling, and Thomas gave him a thumbs up.

"Looking good dad!"

"Oh Thomas thank you!" he said, happily, pulling him into a tight hug and grinning when Thomas laughed loudly. "What would I do without you?"

"I don't know, probably wear very silly clothes" he giggled and pulled away, before gently punching Patton on the shoulder. "Now go, get your perfume and hair gel on, and have fun! No matter if Roman's brother is nice or not, drink some stuff, eat some food and make some friends!"

"Oh kiddo you can bet I will" Patton chuckled, high fiving Thomas and then sighing happily. "Well I should be going. Roman will be waiting for us at his flat. Ugh I'm so nervous! Remember, you can sleep after ten but before midnight! Dinner is in the fridge, don't eat too many sweets, make sure you brush your teeth and have fun! Dad doesn't have time to return, not tonight."

"Don't worry pops. I will see you tomorrow" Thomas winked, and gave him a kiss on the cheek before rushing out, straight downstairs for his video games. Patton was so god damned lucky.

After prep talking himself on the mirror for a few minutes, fixing his hair and putting on perfume, Patton grabbed everything he needed and headed over to Roman's. Once there, he went to Roman's flat, and Logan was already there, waiting for Virgil. Patton made his way inside, smiling at how similar he and Logan looked, and how fancy Roman was with a ling red cardigan and even some high heel boots, and makeup! But they were just waiting around for Virgil, who showed up half an hour later, when Roman was already almost climbing the walls.

"What took you so freaking long?!" Roman asked, grabbing his car keys, while Virgil stared at him with the angriest of faces. He didn't look too fancy at all, clearly not in the mood for the party.

"I didn't want to go, so be thankful I am here" he said, dryly, as the made their way to Roman's car. They all climbed inside, with Logan being the one driving, since he compromised not to drink, and they headed off with Patton on the front seat and Roman and Virgil on the back.

"You could have tried harder with your wardrobe Virgil" Roman complained, and Patton only giggled when he saw Logan rolling his eyes next to him.

"Oh could I? Come on Roman you know I am not in the mood. I would never dress well for a party he is throwing."

"You are going to make us look like fools! And you know how bad that can be!"

"It is going to be even worst when I open the door and jump off this car if you don't shut the fuck up!"

"Hey there guys lets all calm down" Patton said, turning on a Disney playlist in his phone and watching as Virgil and Roman calmed down almost instantly. "We are all going to this party and we are all going to have an average time. We are all together! It won't be bad! Logan and I have your backs."

"Thank god I have sane people with me in this endeavor" Virgil whispered, and slowly both grew quiet, muttering the songs to themselves as Patton smiled to himself. Logan mouthed a 'thank you' at him that made him even happier, and his eyes drifted off into the night sky as they made their way to his extravagant party.

When Logan parked, Patton was a bit confused. First of all, in years since he had been living at that town, he had never come to that side before, so far away from the center, and so well hidden from the rest of the city. Second, he had never seen somewhere so fancy before, with walls that went up three meters over the ground, and houses the sizes of mansions, like those he saw in movies.

The four got out of the car and Logan locked it, before they gathered in the street, looking forward at the mansion they were about to enter. They could hear the song beat from outside, the party lights illuminating the skies. Unlike most of the other houses, the walls from this one were made of bushes, tall bushes, and for the entrance, a large black gate that looked like something straight out of a horror movie.

"That is the correct number, so I believe we should go in" Logan said, once he realized no one was moving, and slowly made his way across the street. Patton followed, and then Virgil and Roman, who seemed extremely hesitant to make their way inside. When Logan rang the bell, instead of a call coming in, the gates opened up immediately, and they saw the even more unbelievable size of could only be called a castle at that point.

Well, it wasn't a castle, it was more like a mansion really, but Patton had never seen a house so big! The front garden was filled with animal bushes, fruit trees, flowers, lakes, picnic tables, fountains, all cut straight in the middle by a pathway of beautiful stones that lead over to the house itself, and heck, the house itself...

It was huge, and the ground floor was made entirely by glass walls. It had three floors that Patton could see, there was a pool next to a grill, a open wide door, and the lights were all coming from that open area, and it was filled with people, with the fanciest and prettiest dresses and suits, drinking fancy champagne and smoking cigars. All fancy stuff.

Patton couldn't even believe what he was seeing.

"Should we move or..." Logan said, suddenly, and Patton looked around to see Virgil and Roman pretty much just as dumbfounded as he was. Only Logan didn't seem to mind all that much.

"I'm not going in there" Virgil said, but Roman held his hand firmly and looked straight into the florist's eyes.

"If you leave I swear I will burn down your shop and laugh as the rats eat your violets" he growled, and Virgil swallowed thickly, nodding and heading towards the house. Roman followed, and after a confused look, Patton and Logan made their way through the pathway into the house itself.

The songs were loud and... very vulgar for Patton's taste. No one seemed to be dancing, everyone enjoying their drinks, or the pool, or kissing... things people usually did. No one even stopped to look at them, even less say hello, so they made their way in as if they knew what they were doing, with Patton half afraid they had entered the wrong house.

But then, oh boy, as they walked into the main room, there was a squeal in what Patton could only guess was a karaoke microphone that made everyone, literally everyone at the party go quiet, and even they stopped moving, looking around to find the source of the sound.

The large crowd turned to look at them, the strangers in the house, before a gasp was heard, loud and clear, and someone began talking through the microphone.

"SHUT DOWN THE MUSIC! TO YOUR LEFT YOU DUMMY! TURN LEFT!" someone yelled, and Patton turned left, only to notice Roman staring straight ahead to something in the distance. And indeed, not too far away from where they were, on top of a make shift stage with a pole dance and a karaoke machine right in the middle, was a man, looking at them, seeming way too excited.

Wait... was that...

"GUYS! GALS! PALS! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GIVE A LOOK AND A ROUND OF APPLAUSES... to my baby brother."

The crowd followed what he did to perfection. Suddenly, Patton saw himself in the middle of a big circle, with Logan, Roman and Virgil next to him, as the crowd began to cheer and clap as the guy on the stage made his way down. Roman and Virgil seemed mortified, red from head to toe, clearly in a state of shock, while Logan was just confused but hyper aware of their friends' states, holding somewhere on both of them to calm them down and ground them.

Patton decided to do the same on his own way, bowing to the crowd.

"Thank you, thank you! Do you guys know how to draw a crowd? With a pen!"

The claps and cheers slowly started to die down, and Patton could feel that spark of shame coming from deep within his stomach, but he was sure that was helping his friends, so another stupid joke it was.

"How do you organize a space party?" he asked, and grinned widely as everyone started to get quiet. "You planet!"

Eventually the crowd started to get awkward and turned back to talk to their friends, probably about Patton, and when he looked back at his friends, Virgil gave him a shaky smile that relieved his soul. He came closer to them, Logan finally letting go, just in time for someone to pop out of the sea of people and jump into their personal space.

"Bro!" the guy that had been on the stage exclaimed, and wrapped his arm around Roman, pulling him for a hug. He was, well, way too much like Roman in a way that made Patton a little uncomfortable. If it wasn't for the moustache and piercings in the man's face, he and Roman would be exactly the same. But their styles were completely different. While everyone else at the party was wearing fancy clothes, he was wearing very ripped jeans with a fishnet hose underneath, and a black tank top that had such large holes on the arms that Patton could see his whole sides. Not only that, but he had piercings everywhere, he wore a spiked collar and he had tattoos on his arms, leg, neck...

He was the polar opposite of pristine, sweet Roman.

"... Remus..." Roman whispered, disgust clear in his voice, and his brother (Remus?) let out a loud laugh, hugging him again and then pulling away to look at him with a loopy grin on his face.

"Oh Roman you haven't changed a thing! I mean, except for the aging lines of course! And Virgil!" Remus said, pushing Roman away and taking Virgil's hand on his own, despite the florist's tries to move away. "How long haven't we seen each other, emo... too long" he said, his voice dropping so much he sounded like a porn star from the eighties or something. He kissed Virgil's hand, and Virgil almost collapsed, pulling his hand away in a snap and wiping it off on his pants, but Remus didn't even seem to care. "And who are these? Two new friends for me to get acquainted with? Oh Roman, from zero to three! I am so proud of you little brother!"

"Um, hello. I am Logan" Logan tried, noticing how completely out of themselves Virgil and Roman were acting, raising his hand to shake Remus'. "Pleasure to meet you... Remus, correct?"

"Correct" he nodded, taking Logan's and instead of shaking it, he took it to his lips and kissed his knuckles. "But I would rather call you mine, if you don't mind."

Patton's eyes widened at such a bold move, and even Logan seemed to feel out of place which was almost impossible, pulling his hand away and blushing while looking at Remus. Luckily, he didn't have time to turn around and greet Patton, because someone else was making their way into the ground, through the crowd.

"Remus honey, please tell me you're not flirting shamelessly when your boyfriend is just coming back with your drink?" Patton heard someone say, and Remus turned around with a grin, pulling whoever it was for a kiss with his back to Patton, blocking his view of whoever they were.

"Oh darling I would never" Remus said, still bending over them, and slowly pulled them up again as they laughed.

"No, of course not. I swear I have to keep him on a leash" they said, and when they turned around, Patton's eyes widened even more, his heart leaped out of his chest, his lungs contracted and he felt dizzy, like he had just seen his grandfather's ghost in front of him. "Hello, my name is J-"

"Janus..."

Their eyes met, and it was like the world around Patton went dark and completely silent, as he met once again with that same face he hadn't seen in... ages.

And Janus stared right back.