#it's insane how both scenes complement each other

[zoennes]

[Zoë, can we talk? I want to explain what happened!]

[Okay, tomorrow?]

[Great! 11:30 at the Ferris wheel?]

[Works for me.]

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

My favorite ships ranked!

There's a huge chance this list will change once every two days at the very least, but let's do it!

1. SUPERCORP

Literally my favorite ship ever. They're just perfect for each other in every possible way. Their love languages complement each other perfectly, they can rely on each other, and they work together like the best team in the world. Lena needs love and Kara knows how to offer it without asking for anything in exchange. She will take whatever Lena is willing to give her and be happy about it. But Kara still needs someone that will look at her and see who she really is, no judgment, and someone who she will be comfortable being herself - Kara Zor El - with.

Speaking of fanfic, I think it’s safe to say these fandom has some very talented authors who gave us very well written works. They can also work in every possible scenario, so that's a huge bonus.

Favorite scene: "Supergirl might have saved the city, but, Kara Danvers, you're my hero."

2. SHOOT

Shoot is THAT couple that should have ended up together, but didn’t. I don't hold a grudge on it, though, because Root's death made sense to the show's ongoing plot. I can't say they would be perfect like Supercorp because Shaw has some emotional problems and Root is just also in love with a artificial intelligence or whatever, but they would work. Shaw would try - for Root - and Root would love every part that Shaw allows her to see.

Favorite scene: "You can't live with me and I can't live without you."

3. WAYHAUGHT

Do I even have to say anything? Our most perfect CANON couple. They were perfect from start to finish. The way Nicole absolutely adored Waverly, almost like a worship even, but wasn’t afraid to stand tall on her ideas and opinions. The way Waverly acted like Nicole hung the moon and stars in the sky just for her, and how we know she would be able to do anything to keep Nicole happy. They're that couple that make everyone's teeth rotten with how sweet they are.

Favorite scene: "You guys make The Notebook look bleak."

4. CABENSON

One of my favorite gay ships, so it has a special place in my heart. In the early seasons, it's pretty clear, at least for me, that Alex and Olivia could have something going on. I believe they were both shoving it away because none of them was ready to get seriously involved with anyone and they knew that whatever they decided to have would be too special to be treated lightly. Unfortunately, time was cut short for them when Alex got pulled away for WitSec.

I do think they will forever be each other's "almost", or "what if", but they're long past that now. They changed too much and they did it separately. If they were together, they would have changed around each other and, possibly, be able to work those differences to stay together. But now I don't think they would be able to keep a relationship. It's a bit sad, but it's also a very good portrait of reality.

Favorite scene: "You like being back on court, don't you?"

5. BISHOVA

I'm new to this ship, but I already love it. They remind me a lot of Shoot, actually. We just know that Yelena needs to find someone who would love her with no restrictions and that she deserves to find love. And Kate needs someone able to ground her, but also someone who allows her to be as silly as she wants, someone that will always have her back, doesn't matter how insane her plans might be. They have chemistry too. Also, I can see them getting together with no drama at all, or maybe something they can easily solve, and then being together for the rest of their lives to the point that they can't even remember a time they didn’t know each other. We didn’t get to see them that much, sadly, but I keep my hopes up for more scenes of them in the future.

Favorite scene: "You have one fork?"

6. FLEURMIONE

Okay, two intelligent and beautiful women together? Sign me in! I've been in Harry Potter's fandom for many, many, years now and, after giving it too much thought, I can safely say that Fleur would be the perfect match for Hermione. She would challenge Hermione, they would have endless discussions about any and every subject, they would have enough books together to fill up a library, and they would make each other want to be better every day. I also see Fleur being a bit sarcastic and Hermione keeps rolling her eyes at her at least fifteen times a day.

Fleur is constantly curious about the muggle world, always eager to learn anything Hermione is willing to show her. She would have a great relationship with Hermione's parents, mostly because she thinks they're one of the most genius people on the planet because they know how to fix people's teeth. Meanwhile, Gabrielle would loooove to talk with Hermione, especially when they get together to embarrass Fleur.

Favorite scene: You know, the totally canon one when Fleur asked Hermione to the Yule Ball.

7. LOU MILLER X DEBBIE OCEAN

Heist wives? Yes, please.

We don't even need to pretend. These two were totally banging throughout the whole movie. The headcanon is that they used to date, then Debbie made some stupid decisions, met the wrong people, they broke up for a while and then Debbie got locked up. I believe Lou was so angry with her for both being stupid and for ruining what they had because she wanted to get more money than they actually needed, that she didn’t even visit Debbie in prison.

While there, Debbie had enough time to realize how much of an idiot she had been, so it's up to her to win Lou back. Meanwhile, Lou knows that she's screwed the second she sees Debbies smile again. She just can't help but orbit around her.

Also, they're the Moms, no doubt about that.

Favorite scene: "Baby, I don’t have a diamond yet."

8. DANSEN

The only reason they’re all the way down here is because I hate CW, but I actually love them more than half of my family. They’re married, they’re moms, they’re in love, they’re perfect. Someone as caring as Kelly needed someone to make her go crazy like Alex, while Alex deserved someone that would understand her no matter what. Honestly, I just love them.

Favorite scene: THE PROPOSAL

9. CAROLNAT

Is there any chance this could happen? No.

Do I still dream about it? Constantly.

It's just one of those couples where things would just work. My biggest headcanon for them is that they would be constantly laughing and having fun. Always joking and playing around with each other. Natasha would crave physical touch and Carol would be happy just to be around her at all. Carol would finally find a reason to stay on Earth without feeling guilty about it and Natasha would one thousand percent make a retirement party for her.

Also, they would protect each other so fiercely that no one would even dare to warm any of them.

Favorite scene: The one where Natasha ends up on top of Carol in the training room. Totally canon, trust me.

10. GLORBIA

Might sounds crazy, but hear me out.

Barbie is literally Gloria's dream Barbie, and Gloria is the reason Barbie is alive. Once Barbie becomes human, I can totally see Gloria falling for her without even noticing it, while Barbie takes a while to realize what are those things she's feeling. I do believe Sasha would have a strong part in bringing them together. She would be the one to explain to Barbie what a crush is and what being in love should feel like, and then she would have to give her mom a gentle push to acknowledge her own feelings.

After that, fluff all the way. Gloria would be the most patient person in the world while she sees Barbie navigating human life, just happy to have whatever Barbie is comfortable giving her. Meanwhile, Barbie keeps getting surprised by how strong her feelings can be every time she even looks at Gloria.

Favorite scene: Not a scene per se. Instead, I'm bringing that Tumblr post that says "Ken only has a great day when Barbie looks at him. Gloria always has a great day when she looks at Barbie."

Bonus

11. GAY BELLA

Quite literally, any lesbian ship from Twilight. My favorite one is Rosella, but Bella x Tanya is a close second. Bellice is also a very strong candidate, not to mention Bella x Kate. And, oh, did I hear someone say Bella x Irina or was it Bella x Leah? Honestly, just give me lesbian Bella and I will be happy.

12. ROJARIAS

One of the hottest couples that exist.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[kissporsche]

Considering that Pete's scars at the beginning of ep 13 are more healed and he is not wearing bandages we can assume it was after another sex scene that we actually didn't see. So I am curious how Vegas initiated it. Did he snuggle in Pete's bed and started touching him, did he try to flirt with him first, was it while they were just talking about something and Vegas started kissing Pete? Was Pete willing to give into it like the first time with all the passion? Was it Pete who started it? :)

ANON 💕💕💕 (sorry this took so long to respond to I was lost in the world tour sauce)

Okay so, a few things change between the sex scene in ep 12 and the opening of ep 13, namely that Pete's bandages are off, he's in handcuffs again and they're both partially clothed.

I'm actually torn on how much time as passed, from the glimpses we get of Pete's wounds in ep 12 they seem to be fairly healed, just still bandaged, so I think this scene could come about pretty soon after the events of ep 12. And in fact I think it has to be fairly soon because of the change we see in Pete's demeanor.

That's a big change from happily handing over the ropes to get fucked by the villain Pete to reality crashing down on him Pete. That's why I think there isn't a huge timeskip, because everything we see of Pete in ep 13 is him still processing episode 12. And I think maybe the thing that pushed him into that spiral of realisation is Vegas handcuffing him again.

Anyway none of this is what you asked SO. I think after the first time and Vegas's palpable italicised oh moment he does a little bit of what could generously be called aftercare. At least, untying Pete and cleaning them both off (removing the bandages in the process). I don't know how much they talk (beyond whatever they're whispering to each other that we don't get to hear BOC REALEASE THE TAPES) and they're both so blissed out still it doesn't matter, just revelling in being able to touch each other, at being together, however monumentally unlikely that must seem.

And maybe those quiet touches turn into something more, something a little more deliberate. Maybe Vegas catches Pete's eye and smirks as if to say "it's no fun if you don't give in" so Pete takes the initiative and runs his hands down Vegas's chest the way he wanted to before but couldn't because his hands were tied, and he's the one to pull Vegas in for another kiss.

(Maybe Pete is starting to feel reality creep back in and settle uneasily in his stomach, maybe Vegas's hands taking his wrists and pinning them to the bed, biting into his lip, sucking bruises into his neck empties his mind so he can have a little longer, just a little longer of living in the moment and letting himself want without holding back)

And I think this time is slower, a little more exploratory, more indulgent. Pete isn't tied up now so he lets his eyes and hands and mouth wander as he pleases, delighting in the fact that he can provoke Vegas's reactions with this, too, as well as with his words. Vegas can test the waters a little bit more, drinking in Pete's reactions to fingers in his mouth or teeth over his tattoo or a hand wrapped around his neck. Learning each other a little deeper and taking their time with it.

Pete can sink down into pure sensation, living for the present like he wants to be able to always do, not having to reckon with his own feelings. Vegas (as we see in the ep 13 scene) is still absolutely wrapped up in the euphoria of having found someone like Pete who seemingly complements him so well.

But once again when it's done and they've put some clothes back on, Vegas makes the decision to put the handcuffs back on. Like we see in ep 13, Vegas still thinks he and Pete are playing the same game, not seeing the fact that it's destroying Pete. And I think the click of those handcuffs was like a bucket of cold water for Pete, a jarring reminder that what they just did was... inadvisable (completely insane) and he is still trapped in a situation where he is being actively dehumanised, now with the added complication of sex, sex that he really really enjoyed.

And that is the mental state that Pete goes into episode 13 with.

[x-birdsong-x]

😈😈

Hester/Chanel; Zayday/Grace; Grace/Chanel; Zayday/Libby; Sadie/Libby; Sadie/Chanel; Chanel/Libby; Gigi/Wes; Boone/Pete; Hoffel/Gigi; Chanel/Chad; Chad/Pete

Chanel/Hester:

They're everything to me I can not believe the old fandom slept on this ship. Canon itself is insane about them. I'm insane about them. I can't say too much because if I do then I just won't stop talking.

-

Zayday/Grace:

Canon really should've explored Zayday more in general but put these two together and there's actually such a tragic story there and I'm obsessed with it. Was she there to see Grace's breakdown. Did she leave Kappa the same time Grace did. Do you think Zayday ever gets asked about Grace. How often do you think she thinks about Grace in Stanford. How do you think she feels when Chanel's able to tell them it was a Devil in her car. How do you think she feels when she tries to visit and she's told Grace isn't there. How do you think she feels about the theory that reveal comes with.

-

Grace/Chanel:

Insane. Strangers to enemies to enemies-for-a-different-reason to enemies to friends to possibly lovers to enemies to one kills the other. Oh my god.

-

Zayday x Libby:

I still would love to know where pairing them up in S2 came from but also I am not complaining one bit. They're so weird they're adorable they complement each other so oddly well.

-

Sadie/Libby:

Made that bit more interesting in Devil!Libby AUs or our little idea where Hester sends only Chanel to Palmer but there's some questions worth asking about these two's relationship that canon doesn't really answer. Wish canon had stuck to their deal about outliving Chanel given that not only gives something to their dynamics with Chanel but ofc their dynamic with each other too.

-

Sadie/Chanel:

This is another duo we actually have a good amount of unanswered questions about but at the same time what canon gives us is enough to make fair guesses that still fit with their characters. It's a real shame S2 dangled Sadie over whatever tone-changing cauldron they threw Cassidy in because S2 had more than enough of a chance to have her interact with the others if it had pushed to get as much into each episode as S1 did (Ghost Stories is my favorite example of that)

-

Chanel/Libby:

Another Libby ship made that bit more interesting in Devil!Libby AUs but they're fucked up and fun to mess around with and I can understand the old fandom's focus on them. The questions for the prev two go for each of the Chanels pre-S1 it seems but they're major AU potential. Wish canon acknowledged the things it set up for them more.

-

Gigi/Wes:

Affectionately I hate them so much and it's not Gigi's fault whatsoever she's done nothing wrong here. I do like how cute their first scenes are and their little talk in the classroom in Chainsaw is still a great moment for Gigi but Wes is such a prick and his absolutely ridiculous character-butchering is hilarious and also canonically Wes is... a footnote in Gigi's story. The focus of her story in canon's present timeline is her relationship with her kids. I think she should be allowed to kill him a few times in hell.

-

Boone/Pete:

I hope you die I hope we both die you are coming down with me hand in unlovable hand.

-

Hoffel/Gigi:

They'd absolutely despise each other.

-

Chanel/Chad:

lmao. the ace lesbian and the bi with seven dead boyfriends.

-

Chad/Pete:

(They have the same boyfriend)

[hetakiba]

for the ship asks: kim/harry, guts/casca, snake/otacon

Fantastic ships thank you...

I answered harry and kim in the post before this, very fun I got them twice!

Guts/casca: I don't ship it,

1. Why not?

Yeah, I just don't think guts likes casca, romantically for sure, as a person is debatable. Obviously, there's been many an incident in canon that puts me pretty opposing them having any sort of relationship at all lol. But in general, I think guts is mostly not super a people person in general, and that casca would functionally fill the same role in his life as like a coworker he likes more than some of the others, to me. I'd like to think Casca would never really be interested in guts or griffith romantically, despite canon, though she may think she is, I would headcanon that interest as misplaced admiration (in my head, both characters are gay)

2. What would have made you like it?

You'd have to change nearly every major detail of their time together, obviously the rape business, all of the post eclipse moments, guts would pretty much have to be a completely different character. Griffith would have to not exist also, in universe, and farnese would have to be not an option on the shipping table as well

3. Any positive thoughts on it?

I think their canon relationship was interesting at times. I don't really have much else

Snake/otacon: I obviously ship it,

1. What made you ship it?

Man I really can't remember when I first started liking this ship 🤔 Generically, I guess there's a lot of canon scenes that lend to it. I remember watching like a 1-3 hour long compilation of "gay" moments in mgs and their moments were the most heartful, to me. So I guess I'd say I just thought of them as a couple simply from playing the game

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Everything. The contrast in their outward appearances/personalities, indeed their lifetime of partnership, how their relationships with eachother are like representative of moving past their past struggles/trauma and undoing the generational cyclical bullshit their equally insane family lives established. They're both awkward in very different ways, they both really want the same things of life, their complexities as characters just complement each other well. But also they're very silly. Like I said about harry and kim, I like pairs with that big dichotomy of being either silly fun/funny or very deep/tragic, in turn. They build a happy future together from some tragic beginnings!! They find meaning and hope in living... Also, they are good friends as well. I also love how ridiculous their first meeting is, and how that compares to say, how they treat eachother in mgs2 (meaning like how they go from that to a meaningful relationship) or their canonical ending in mgs4. They are also both very earnest people as well, which I always enjoy. I just think about them all the time, and it's always a positive

3. Is there any unpopular opinion you have on it?

🤔 uh I could see them being t4t? But I don't think that's very unpopular within the snotacon subtag. I see them both as gay? Idk, I'm having a hard time coming up with anything, for all I know something I've already said is unpopular

[catoscloves]

I am literally obsessed with your clato fic! I know you’re no longer as active within the clato fandom, but I couldn’t help but wonder how you plan or planned to complete the fic, sort the plot out. Again, your such a wonderful writer and I dearly appreciate your work.

this is literally such a nice compliment to give someone, thank you!!!!!!!!! ilysm for this tbh. and yeah i kinda stopped caring so much about clato after high school (even though clove always has a spot in my heart, my feral angry child), but i always keep wondering about that fic and whether i might ever truly finish it. i rarely finish any multichapter fic i start because it hits a dead end at some point lol, motivation is hard to find.

my plan for the fic was for cato and clove to decompress after the hunger games and then find a purpose or motivation outside of doing whatever an authority figure tells them to (which was what made them very static characters despite their vast potential, and at first largely disliked), and also to live a happy domestic life except with their own brand of violent and crazy :D i think they'd like one of those mountain vacation homes because district 2 is basically a mountain district, and there is a lot of fresh air/resources/space from civilization (given their leanings toward murder neither cato nor clove strikes me as a people person imo), and while weapons and combat in general is definitely going to remain a big part of their life (they were raised to be child soldiers during their formative years and sacrifice themselves for battle glory it's not just a mentality they could give up easily), i also think they could both create an aspect of their lifestyle that is nonviolent (basically something that's a healthy expression of their personalities that isn't....... murder alfjelfkdldjfjsk). what struck me about clove as a character even though she was a sidepiece with little to no characterization is that she could essentially be however i saw her, which is something i believed to be very cool, and i see her as someone who's volatile and insane and brutal and unkind and independent, stubborn and selfish and in private moments soft and vulnerable (or in public - like during the iconic singular clato scene in existence where she's on the verge of death and calls for him out of trust and fear). cato is violent and passionate as she is but she can also be clever and logical and levelheaded (cornucopia scene notwithstanding) which balances cato out and makes them the perfect murder team. their vicious and murderous mentalities complement each other and they'll come to realize that (after the initial conflict and angst because it hurts clove that he couldn't save her in time, and that hurts cato too, and they're both idiots who don't know how to process Feelings because a. teenagers and b. murderous upbringing). also they're not heroically battling against coin, not heroes at all, their primary concern is self preservation and each other (which surprises many of the Main Characters that pop up as meaningless side characters in my fic, to balance out the career tributes' lacking characterizations)

essentially think of them as a mini thg version of klayley if you've watched any tvdverse show (granted at the time i wrote the fic i don't think i had started watching tvd/the originals yet but klaus and hayley could totally be cato and clove in their fleshed out forms :D)

but regardless none of that really worked out and now one hastily worded chapter is now sitting on my ao3 untouched

[lyralit]

(a lot of) writer's block prompts

mc has been ignoring teammates, they turn on them

they have nothing left to fight for

the truth they've been chasing is a lie

the person the mc has been trusting the most works for the enemy

the mc makes a fatal mistake and the side characters take over the plot

the antagonist wins

everything goes wrong—and the mc has to completely reroute

mc dies

everyone but the mc and antagonist die

hero is villain, villain is hero

the mc tells the reader they need a break from the drama and the other characters go wild trying to find them

they find the person/thing they need just for them/it to die/be broken

introduce a new character

kill a vital character

both of the above

introduce two characters

- one is nice and innocent but secretly evil

- the other is suspicious but actually nice

give them their goal and they feel it's too easy

introduce another [bigger] villain

the person the mc has been fighting for dies [better: at antagonist's hand]

- they go crazy striking plans to defeat the villain

- they feel no point in fighting anymore

have the mc discover something about them-self

something bad happens, so re-invent your mc

- if they are unpredictable, make them boring

- make a boring person wild

- the soft-spoken yells out

- becomes [more/less] inconsiderate

break them

have them experience something they didn't understand before—that happened to another character—and bring them closer

break apart the group

make an unlikely alliance

- works for the government / rebel

- grumpy / sunny

- see list of complementing personalities!

have the mc go against every one of their own rules to do something insane

have them watch their love interest slowly fall in love with someone else

- at their pushing

- after they rejected them

have them crash with their best friend / love interest

have the person they count on the most say "I can't do this anymore"

an ex-villain joins the mc

have the mc make sketchy alliances against their group's advisory

have the group find something the mc has been hiding - have the mc ways to restore writing motivation:

make a playlist for your character/wip - battle song - motivation song - song that represents each character - song that describes the setting

make a Pinterest board for your character/wip

write short stories from your characters' povs

re-read / re-watch / listen to the inspiration for the story

[follow me]

focus on another wip

look at the outline

write another part of the story

take a break - sometimes that's all you need! if it's the right story, you will go back to it in time

write a short story

find writing prompts you want to incorporate

write a scene from a movie / tv show

re-write a scene that you've already written

re-write a scene from another book, how you would have done it

look around you for inspiration

[fiireside]

When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love.

i was tagged by @tightredpants and @elorianna !!! this was actually v fun to do and i loved reading everyone else’s and hearing what you guys think of your own writing :) so interesting and adds a whole new layer to my appreciation of your works 

1: time in a bottle

the story of Alex and Miles’ relationship, told through the myriad of ways to say “I love you” without using such words

my big bang fic! i spent SO long working on this one, coming up w how to use each of the 100 ways to say i love you (though i only used like 30 of them cos all 100 would’ve been insane), planning out how to line the ideas up w their lives, writing and rewriting every scene... i think i rewrote each at least once, most of them more than that, lol. i reread this fic the other night after not having read it in a WHILE and it actually held up for me. i love how it all came together, how full circle the first and last vignettes are, the way you see their relationship develop thru the little snippets over time. it’s my longest fic too which i treat as an accomplishment cos i usually don’t have the stamina to finish a longer idea.

2: you’re my top 100 shows

in a better, happier universe, Miles goes home to Alex after all his shows, and this is probably (hopefully) what happens

UGH i love this one. if time in a bottle hadn’t been a product of so much hard work this would be my favorite of all my fics. it came to me so naturally, i’m not even kidding when i say the entire fic was inspired by one comment a friend of mine at the time made. she was talking about miles’ look and vibe during the coup de grace tour and how the fluffy hair and makeup and everything makes him look very ‘ruffled and soft’ and ‘buzzed and content’ ... no joke those words inspired the whole fic. and they’re of course in there :) i could just see the whole story in my head and i wrote it in one sitting like a maniac. i also just love alex being fully obsessed w miles and miles treating alex like he’s made of glass. hehe. plus i’m weak for middle of the night sleepy sex. so yeah. definitely one of my fav fics of mine.

3: a wonderful week

“It’s been a wonderful week, hasn’t it, Miles?”

my first fic!!! this was so fun to write, i wasn’t even writing it at first with the intention of posting it, i just rewatched that interview and the look on alex’s fucking face when he says it, knowing how all their shows during that wonderful week had gone... ugh. they’re so gay the fic just wrote itself basically

4: never get tired of dancing (with you)

Miles and Alex are both going back on tour this year, and it makes Alex a bit nervous.

this is my most recent fic after not having written in literally years and i’m honestly very pleased with how it turned out. it’s been a hot minute since i’ve written anything and my life has been insane since january but i finally sat down and properly listened to miles’ new album and it just opened the floodgates. i had a vague idea from a while ago for a fic where alex is having a bad day and miles comforts him and i started trying to flesh out that idea but it turned into this fic somehow. i rly enjoy writing alex’s overthinking and miles helping him through it by simplifying the issue alex has made so complex in his head cos it’s what i imagine their dynamic to be irl and i feel like demonstrates why they are so good for each other. they’re v different people but they complement each other so beautifully and clearly would go to the ends of the earth for the other and it just warmed my heart to make a little world for them again ❤️

5: saturn’s return

saturn’s return is when the planet saturn comes back to meet your natal saturn in your late 20s and early 30s. it is a wake-up call, and this is why so many fear it’s sobering realities. if you’ve spent your twenties in a fog, coasting on your youthful charm, it becomes obvious that your foundation is too flimsy for the long haul. sometimes we make life choices before we really know who we are. at saturn’s return, some of these choices are revealed to be out of sync with our true destiny.

ah yes. saturn’s return. this one is very special to me even tho i rarely reread it since it makes me cringe for some reason. i had such a cathartic time writing it, like i wrote the whole thing in a day or two and posted it kind of hastily cos barely a day later i decided it actually wasn’t finished and went and wrote like 8k more words and had to repost it lmao. but i am proud of it, it was a cool concept to build a story around and it also was super validating how well it was received and all the comments i got definitely motivated me to keep writing and made me feel like a part of the little milex bubble on here with you all :)

so yeah :) most of the fic writers i would tag have already done this so i tag whoever wants to do it and specifically my love @yellowloid 🥰

[charles-edwin]

Truly there is just *so much* going on in the danyok drawing scene that someone could write a doctoral thesis on it. Several even. BUT something I found achingly beautiful in the most subdued way, so much so that you miss it, was that when Yok saddled up to comfort Dan, that wasn’t eroticized.

It was played like Dan forgot he was fully nude and Yok was fully dressed, that’s how comfortably the gesture was received. I don’t know how to explain it but I love that. Yok truly knew his lane and just had the intention of being open with Dan and encompassing him in this aura of safety that he may have never felt before. Yok is insane but he respects his love interest and elicits complete comfort.

Yeah he’s next level for getting his elusive kidnapper crush naked during their 2nd convo but he is godtier for being able to stroke his face, hug him, and gently tousle his hair while he’s naked with absolute physicality and unflinching trust from Dan. He didn’t even hesitate to accept touching and Yok did not hesitate to let him express his emotions and then show him skin-to-skin that he was there for him, and not just because he’s sexually and romantically interested. He envelopes him in every sense of the word. Those sparkly eyes and sweet smile just took Dan in and he was 100% safe to be cradled while nude and sobbing.

Every second of that scene is a masterpiece and is loaded with meaning. Thank you for letting me ramble like a deranged Yelp reviewer because I love your kindness and gentility with reviewing queer media. Maybe you understand my gibberish.

this is not gibberish!!! you said it all so beautifully and with a lot of love!!! and i agree with everything you said!!

while both writing and acting were on point in this scene, i also think it’s very important to highlight how well they complemented each other. because sometimes even if the writing and acting is good, some things get lost in translation but not here!!! it was done with so much synchrony and care and clarity, almost like we were reading a book instead of watching a show. it felt so raw and full of honesty and it shows in the fact that you can write so many wonderful things about it!

awards!!!! NOW!!!!

you’re so nice and brilliant!!! thank YOU for allowing me to read your thoughts!!! this is a safe space for other people to talk about their experiences too, be it with dramas or life, anything, i love when people reach out!! and i’m really glad you chose to share this with me!!!

feel free to do it any time!!! ❤️💙

[wayward-dreamer]

Life’s Lessons - Part 4

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Self Control

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)

Other Pairings: Dean x Lisa, Female!Reader x OMC – Ethan (past, mentioned)

Word Count: 6,612 (thoughts, song lyrics in italics)

Part Summary: After Charlie witnesses the looks between Dean and Y/N outside the school on Friday, she convinces Y/N they should go out for drinks. At the bar, Charlie and Y/N bond, as she opens up to Charlie about Dean but also her past. After several drinks, Y/N goes home drunk and gets a little help from a friend. The next day brings a little embarrassment, but also brings up feelings within Dean and Y/N, that they know they shouldn’t be feeling.

Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol Consumption, Mentions of cheating, Mentions of reader’s ex, Talk of Emotional Abuse, Mentions of a physical incident against reader, Drunk reader, Embarrassment, Dean being sweet (yes, that’s a warning), flirting, forbidden feelings

Music: Deeper in the Water by The Lone Bellow (playing in the background while Y/N is baking scene), Wherever I May Roam by Metallica (Dean and Y/N backyard scene).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: Thank you to everyone for your wonderful comments on this series so far! I’m so glad you’re all enjoying it! This part is a little heavier, so please read the warnings. Please share your thoughts with me, I love hearing what you all think! Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics​! Check her out for all your AU needs!!!

Life’s Lessons Masterlist

Y/N took off her red glasses, smiling as she looked at her students. She could see them all flicking their eyes up at the clock every now and then, wondering when the bell would ring. She found it amusing as she tried not to laugh. It was Friday and they couldn’t wait to get out of there and start their weekend fun. She couldn’t wait herself, hoping to have some time for herself, call her family and maybe go see a movie.

Unfortunately for her students, they still had some time before they could leave, using that time to take the notes for the criteria set for their book reports. She watched as they all scribbled in their notebooks hurriedly, wanting to get out as soon as the bell went off.

“Make sure it’s personal to you” she told them as they wrote. “Books have a way of really affecting us, so I want you guys to choose something that really had a big effect on you.”

Some of them mumbled an “okay” while others nodded.

Suddenly, the bell rang, and they all sprung up at the same time. It was like how smaller children got excited for ice-cream.

“Alright, don’t all head out at the same time! You’ll plow each other out of the way!” she laughed.

“Sorry, Miss Y/L/N” one student called out.

“Have a great weekend, guys!” she called out in return.

Y/N walked out of the room as well, following them down the hallway and out of the school building. She smiled as students were being picked up by their parents, getting on the bus home or their bikes and riding home. She spotted a parent of one of her students notice her, walking over to her.

“Miss Y/L/N?” the woman asked.

“Yes” Y/N smiled, offering her hand.

“Oh, it’s wonderful to meet you, I’m Carol. Amy’s mom” she said, shaking Y/N’s hand.

“Wonderful to meet you, too” Y/N agreed.

“I just wanted to come and introduce myself and welcome you” Carol said, a bright, peaceful smile on her face. “I know it’s already been a couple of weeks, but I hope you’re loving Lawrence.”

Y/N nodded. “I’m definitely warming up to life here.”

“Well, Amy’s really fond of you. English is already her favorite subject but she’s so happy to have someone like you teaching it” Carol complemented her.

Y/N beamed, her heart soaring. It was always great to hear when kids enjoyed a subject and the way you taught it.

“She’s a great student, so that definitely makes it easy” Y/N told her.

Carol blushed, delighted by the complement for her daughter. “Well, we better go. I’m sure we’ll see you around.”

“Of course,” Y/N said. “It was great to meet you.”

As Carol walked away after saying goodbye, Y/N looked around as the crowds of children started to clear. She spotted Charlie and was about to walk over, when she noticed who she was talking to. Dean was leaning against his car, aviators on and laughing at something Charlie just said. Ben was sitting in the car, waiting for Dean. She didn’t realize that Charlie knew Dean too, but she really should’ve made the connection considering she knew Cas, and Cas knew Dean. She thought about going over there, but she didn’t want to interrupt them. Plus, after what happened the other night at dinner with him and Lisa, she wasn’t sure if she should go over there.

“Y/N!” she heard her redheaded friend call out and she knew she had to go over.

She smiled as she walked over, trying to prepare herself to be near Dean again. He looked so damn good in that moment, and she was finding it hard to look at him.

“Thanks to your car, I know you already know each other, so I don’t have to introduce you” Charlie laughed, as she nudged Y/N with her hand.

“Yeah.” Dean took his sunglasses off and Y/N saw that he was looking directly at her. She was suddenly nervous again.

Dean took her in, dressed in a black dress that hugged her body in just the right way. Her red glasses were tucked into the neckline of her dress, and he had a sudden urge to see her wearing them. Mind outta the gutter, man he thought to himself as he looked away from her.

“I didn’t realize you guys were friends” she said, as she stood in front of Charlie and Dean.

Charlie smiled as she looked at Dean. “Yeah, have been for years.”

“Charlie’s like the little sister I never wanted” Dean teased, smiling cheekily at her. Charlie punched him in the arm, and he laughed.

His gaze moved from her back to Y/N. He hadn’t been able to get her out of his head since the first time he met her, but even more so after what happened at her house.

Charlie noticed how Dean and Y/N were looking at each other and dropped her head, smiling without them seeing.

“I better go” he said, suddenly, putting his sunglasses back on. “Lisa finished work early and we’re going to Sid and Olivia’s for dinner.”

“Tell them I said hi” Y/N told him, trying not frown as she wished he had stayed longer.

“Sure thing” he nodded. He moved in to hug Charlie, kissing her head.

Y/N watched as Dean got into the car and drove off, the car roaring down the road. She turned to Charlie and her face dropped into a frown, when she saw her friend grinning at her.

“What?”

“You like him” Charlie stated.

Y/N stared at her in shock, before scoffing a laugh. “You’re insane.”

“On the contrary, I’m completely sane” Charlie countered. “And you denied it a little too quickly, so it has to be true.”

“Charlie…” Y/N trailed off, not knowing how to respond to that.

“I think we need to get a drink together” Charlie suggested. “We haven’t gotten a chance to hang out outside of work yet.”

Y/N grinned. “Sounds great.”

“Tonight?” Charlie asked.

“Name a time and place, and I’m there” Y/N responded quickly. She was excited to go out and see what Lawrence was like on a Friday night. She knew it wouldn’t be much for a small town, but she also knew she needed to know how the nightlife was here.

“Ditch the rental at home and I’ll pick you up” Charlie said, as she started to walk away. “I’ll be there at 7!”

“See you soon!” Y/N called out as they both made their way back in to collect their belongings, before they headed home.

When she got home, Y/N relaxed for a while before she needed to get ready. She freshened up and got dressed into black ripped skinny jeans and a dark mustard sweater. She put on her black heeled ankle boots, ran a straightener through her hair quickly to get the kinks of the school day out and applied light make-up. She picked up her black leather jacket and her bag, just in time when she heard two quick honks of a car horn. She picked up her keys and walked out, closing the door behind her. She walked down the porch steps and smiled at Charlie as she walked over, getting into the car.

Y/N and Charlie made their way to the town square, lined with shops and some restaurants. Deciding they were hungry too; they grabbed a quick bite to eat. Conversation over at the diner mainly consisted of work and minor things, because Y/N had a feeling Charlie wanted to talk about personal things over drinks. After they ate, they walked down the street and past a couple of dive bars, the loud music and chatter filtering out to the streets. She felt better knowing there was something going on in this town and that it wasn’t as sleepy as a place like Rhinebeck. Though Rhinebeck did have its own charms.

Y/N followed Charlie, arriving at the place where they sat at the bar. She and Charlie sat on the bar stools, the bartender immediately coming over to them.

“What can I get you, ladies?” he asked, smiling at them.

“Gin and tonic, please” Charlie replied, smiling back.

Y/N thought it over for a second before she replied. “A vodka martini.”

“Sure thing” he muttered before moving down the bar to mix the drinks.

Y/N and Charlie both took their jackets off, settling in. The bartender put their respective drinks in front of them and then went to serve other customers. Charlie picked up her glass and turned to Y/N.

“To surviving your first two weeks” she said, smiling.

“Well, thanks for making it easy for me to settle in” Y/N smiled back, clinking her glass against hers. “I really mean it. You and Cas have really helped me and supported me, so… thank you.”

“No need to thank” Charlie waved her off, taking a sip of her drink. “So… let’s get to the real reason we’re here…”

“Oh god” Y/N groaned.

“Oh yeah” Charlie smirked. “You like Dean.”

Y/N laughed a little to herself. She didn’t beat around the bush, this one.

“Yeah. I do” Y/N admitted, feeling slightly relieved to say it out loud. “At first, I really just thought it was a crush, something that would just go away after a couple of days. Then… then the butterflies stuck around and they’re not going away. Every time I see him… I just want to be near him. All the time. I know two weeks is way too soon to be feeling like this about someone I just met, but-” she explained but Charlie shook her head, cutting in.

“I don’t think the length of time matters to Oxytocin” Charlie advised her.

“I’m not quite at the love stage yet. In fact, I hope I never get there because that’s going to get me into trouble” Y/N countered.

“Which is unfortunate because I think you two would be adorable together” Charlie confessed, a guilty grin on her face.

“What?” Y/N scoffed, not quite believing what she just heard.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… the way he was looking at you, even just for a few seconds, I haven’t seen him like that in a really long time” Charlie said, a sad smile on her face.

“Oh god” Y/N groaned, her face dropping into her hands. “Charlie, what are you doing to me?!”

“I know, I know” Charlie shook her head, not knowing what else to say.

“I can’t” Y/N shook her head, taking a large sip of her martini.

“I know, and I wasn’t telling you to go for it at all. I’m sorry” Charlie apologized, sipping her drink.

“It’s okay” Y/N reassured her, patting her back. Once they had both calmed down, Y/N turned to her friend. “Oh, they came over for dinner on Monday. I wanted to thank Dean about the car, and he came over with Lisa.”

“Really?” Charlie asked, a little shocked. “She actually came over?”

Y/N nodded. “Seemed like she didn’t want to be there, though. I mean, she was okay, she didn’t say much, which I don’t really care about, but she was kind of cold with Dean.”

Y/N looked at Charlie and saw that she looked like she wanted to say something but was contemplating whether she should or not.

“Okay, look…” Charlie started, trying to find her next words carefully. “I’m just going to tell you this, and it’s in no way saying that you have to do something, I just think you need to know, now that you’ve brought this up.”

“Okay…” Y/N didn’t know where she was going with this, but she listened anyway.

“Dean and Lisa have never been good for each other. They had a one-night thing, it was great for both of them, but that’s where it should’ve ended. Things were fine at the start, but once they got past the one-year mark, is when things started turning. Two years in, it got pretty bad. I mean, Dean doesn’t know for sure… but he thinks that she might’ve slept with someone else when she went home to visit her family. Things haven’t been right for a while now. Between not trusting her and them fighting at the drop of a hat all the time… it should’ve ended a year ago” Charlie explained.

“Wow” Y/N sighed, shaking her head.

“The only time we see him happy is when he’s at work or when he’s with us and she’s not around. Hell, I don’t particularly think she likes any of us, and we’ve tried really hard to include her. She never really wanted to do anything with us and would only come out with Dean if she wanted to prove things were okay. After a while, we just stopped trying to get her to like us” Charlie went on.

Y/N couldn’t imagine anyone not liking Charlie or Cas. “Seriously?”

Charlie nodded, a glint of anger behind her eyes. “She’s never encouraged him with the business, she’s always put him down for his choice in friends. She claims it’s to make him see that he’s better than them, but she’s just forcing him to think things he never would.”

There was a long silence between them, as Y/N processed everything Charlie just told her. She and Charlie were only just starting to become friends, so she could’ve easily said she didn’t believe her. She did, though. Charlie looked genuinely hurt, which meant everything was true.

“Fuck” Y/N whispered.

“Yeah” Charlie said, raising her eyebrows. “Dean’s generally a happy, care-free guy but for over a year now, I know he’s been hurting. He just hides it behind his larger than life personality. I just want to see him as his old self again. He thinks that if he stays, maybe things will just fix themselves, but they won’t. They haven’t yet and they certainly won’t the longer he stays in this relationship.”

“Wow” Y/N sighed again.

“So, that’s all I want to say” Charlie finished. “I’m not saying you have to do anything about it, but I want you know the reality, and maybe not hate yourself so much for having the thoughts you’ve been having.”

Y/N nodded. Hearing it made her feel slightly better, but worse now that she knew what he was going through.

Another silence fell between them as Y/N thought about everything Charlie said.

“It scares me” Y/N looked down into her glass, shaking her head. “Feeling something so quickly for someone I just met. I’ve never felt a connection like this before. Not even with Ethan.”

“Ethan?” Charlie asked, confusion written on her face.

Y/N bit her lip. She didn’t realize she had never mentioned him to Charlie. “My ex.”

Charlie nodded slowly, immediately understanding. “I’m guessing things didn’t end well if you’re so far away from New York.”

“No, they did not” Y/N muttered after a sip of her drink. “He uh… he was really controlling of me. He’d tell me how I shouldn’t dress up and be too revealing, but then somehow… somehow, he’d tell me that I didn’t try hard enough either, that I wasn’t attractive enough. My job wasn’t good enough. I… I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t… I didn’t think it was something that was a problem, no matter how much anyone told me it was. I thought he’d… he’d say the things he did because he just wanted me to be better, but it was to stroke his own ego.”

“Scumbag” Charlie muttered; her face morphed into anger.

“Yeah” Y/N laughed, bitterly. “I couldn’t see it until the night he hurt me. I thought he was doing those things because he loved me, but love isn’t making a person hate themselves to make yourself feel better.”

“You said he hurt you…” Charlie trailed off, worried that she’d uncover feelings that Y/N had buried.

“Just once, he pushed me and I ended up in hospital with a concussion” Y/N said, her words choking around the lump in her throat. “Once I was better, my parents helped me get my things out of his apartment. It wasn’t an easy transition; I kept seeing him everywhere. I tried to get a restraining order against him, but his family had money and probably paid someone off, so he never got charged with one. He eventually left with his new girlfriend, but that didn’t mean it got better for me. It took some time, a year of therapy before I left, but I realized that I wasn’t going to let anyone do that to me ever again. That place… I didn’t want to leave my family but there was too much of him there. So… now I’m here.”

“I’m glad you are. Y/N, you’re… shit, you’re fucking amazing and I hate that someone made you feel like you’re not” Charlie said, quietly, her eyes watery.

“I really know how to tell a story, huh?” Y/N jested, trying to lighten the mood again, as she blinked to keep her tears from falling.

“I’m glad you told me, that you could trust me with that” Charlie said, a small, empathetic smile playing at her lips.

“I’m sorry” Y/N shook her head, feeling awful at her sudden confession of her past. “I shouldn’t have brought it up when we’re here to have a good time.”

Charlie took her hand in hers. “No, please don’t apologize. I really am glad that you did. I’m so glad I know you.”

Y/N smiled at her. She knew Charlie would hear the story and wouldn’t pity her but be there for her and listen. She held Charlie’s hand, squeezing it. She was glad to have met the woman sitting in front of her.

“You know… Dean would never do that to you, right? To anyone” Charlie told her.

Y/N nodded, closing her eyes. “I know. I don’t know how I know, but I just see him, and I know that he’d never do that.”

“And that’s what scares you, right? That he’d never do that, that you feel so much and that he’s with someone else?” Charlie asked.

Y/N looked at her and didn’t say anything. Her face said it all. Charlie just nodded, before taking the last sip of her drink.

“I need another drink” Y/N said with a small chuckle, having finished her martini.

Charlie just smiled as she flagged down the bartender.

Another drink turned into two more after that. Y/N understood what Charlie said clearly, but that didn’t mean she was going to take the words and run with them. Why risk everything on what could just be a crush? She was wrong, 2 weeks was absolutely a ridiculous amount of time to suddenly fall for someone. She was overthinking things.

She was thankful when Charlie dropped the subject of Dean, having said what she needed to about how she felt towards Lisa, knowing Y/N would interpret everything the way she needed to. She also felt a huge pressure lift off her chest when she told Charlie about what happened with Ethan. It had been a year since the break-up and since she had started therapy. Her last session before she left had left her feeling relieved. Coming to Lawrence had been the best decision, even with her situation with Dean. Charlie was amazing and was glad she spoke up and told someone who she really trusted.

They eventually moved onto talking Charlie and Dorothy and Y/N found the redhead incredibly cute in that moment, as she gushed about her girlfriend.

Y/N knew that once the fourth martini went down, she had to get home. She was well and truly drunk and all she wanted to do was sleep it off. Just forget them ever talking about Dean.

As they left the bar, she stumbled slightly as they walked down the road. She needed to get an Uber and be alone in her thoughts now, her mind reeling with their conversation but vodka, too.

“Are you sure I can’t take you home?” Charlie asked, concern all over her face.

Y/N chuckled as she shook her head. “I’m sure, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay” Charlie agreed, reluctantly. “Message me as soon as you get home.”

An Uber quickly pulled up a few moments after she called it, and Y/N got in. She smiled and waved at Charlie. “Thanks for tonight.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you Monday” Charlie smiled.

Y/N leaned back against the seat, looking out the window. She really didn’t need man drama while she settled into a new town. She had had enough of it back home in her previous relationship, that one almost ruining her mental state. She was still recovering, even if had been a year since they broke up. Memories of him and imagining him around town, even after he left, were what made her decide to leave too. The last thing she needed was to be with someone. That being said, someone could argue with her that it was time to move on and find something better, something more meaningful.

Well, that something would have to come from somewhere else because it sure as hell wasn’t going to come from Dean. As much as she was attracted to him, he was with someone. No matter how unhappy the relationship was. Her mind floated to something Charlie told her. That it was possible that Lisa cheated on Dean.

He was sweet and caring, nurturing and compassionate. Gorgeous as hell and insanely hilarious. Who could ever cheat on him? People had their flaws, but that didn’t mean you give up on a person. His flaws couldn’t be as bad as her ex’s.

The Uber pulled up outside her house. Y/N steadied herself as much as she could as she got out. The car pulling up caught the attention of Dean, however, as he was sitting on the front porch, beer in hand. He watched as Y/N stumbled up the stairs of her porch and tried to open the door to her house.

Dean put his beer down on the stoop and got up from the stairs, walking across the street. As he walked up her porch stairs, Y/N turned around and smiled at him, indicating to Dean that she was quite drunk.

“Dean” she slurred happily, her eyes sparkling.

He tried not to laugh as he walked over to her. “Doing okay there, sweetheart?”

“Sure am” she giggled in her drunken state. “Just trying to get my door open.”

Dean watched as she tried to put the key in but kept missing the keyhole. He stepped forward and took the key from her hand, putting it into the lock and opening the door with ease.

“Thanks” she beamed.

As she went to walk through the threshold, her foot caught the edge and she stumbled. With quick reflexes, Dean caught her arm and pulled her into his body.

“Whoa, Y/N” he exclaimed, cradling her to his body.

She let out a loud cackling laugh, completely unaware of her near injury. Knowing that this wasn’t going to end well if she kept at it by herself, Dean bent down and lifted her legs up as he cradled her body. He lifted her into his arms as he carried her into the house, trying not to dwell on how good she felt in his arms.

“Ooh” she gasped, as her arms wrapped around his neck. “You’re very strong, Dean.”

She couldn’t help but lean her head on his shoulder, the intoxicating scent of cologne driving her crazy.

He ignored that as he walked down the hallway and into her bedroom.

Dean gulped as he looked around, the realization that he shouldn’t be standing in her bedroom hitting him suddenly. He quickly walked to the bed and laid her down, watching her eyes flutter as the alcohol she had consumed took control.

“Have to… have to text Charlie” she mumbled, the alcohol making her sleepy.

Ah, so that’s who she went out with he thought as he took off her shoes and pulled the covers over her.

He picked up her bag and fished around quickly, finding her phone. He didn’t look in, knowing that a woman’s handbag had things in there he had no business seeing.

Y/N unlocked her phone and handed it to him, flinging her head back to her pillow.

Dean bit back a laugh as he messaged Charlie as Y/N.

Hey, made it home safe. Thanks for tonight.

He added that in because if she was this drunk, then clearly she had a great time with his friend. Who wouldn’t?

Dean placed her phone on the nightstand and was about to walk away when he heard her stir.

“You’re really sweet, Dean” she mumbled, only one eye looking up at him as her face was smooshed to her pillow. “Why can’t all guys be like you?”

Dean shook his head. She was really out of it. “I wouldn’t say that, Y/N. I’m not someone to be compared to.”

“I think you are” she said, a soft smile on her face. “I think you’re something special, Dean Winchester.”

A smile spread on his face, but it dropped quickly. She wouldn’t remember saying it in the morning, so it was best not to dwell on it.

“Goodnight, Y/N” he whispered.

“I could get used to you in my life” she whispered, as she drifted off into slumber.

Dean felt a pang in his heart at her words. She may have been drunk, but it had been a while since someone had something like that to him. He couldn’t let her words affect him like that, though. He was with someone else and he needed to make that work again.

Dean slowly walked out of her room and back down the hall. He took out his wallet and took out the Advil tablets he kept in there, leaving them by her coffee machine. He picked up a napkin and quickly scribbled a note on it, before leaving her house. Hopefully she wouldn’t remember all of that in the morning and they could avoid the awkwardness that would follow.

The sunlight from the windows streamed into Y/N’s room. It warmed the covers she was wrapped in, causing her to stir. She groaned as she lifted her head, feeling the heaviness of last night’s drinking session with Charlie. She sat in bed as she tried to recall what happened last night. Her eyes widened as she remembered, everything quickly rushing to her head.

Dean had helped her into the house. Dean had most likely helped her into bed. Dean had been in her bedroom.

She couldn’t remember if any words had been exchanged. Had she said anything that would cause her embarrassment?

Y/N slowly got out of bed and picked up her robe, wrapping it around herself. She picked up her phone and walked out of her bedroom, into the kitchen, as she needed coffee as soon as humanly possible. She looked at the time. It was 10 in the morning. She had really been knocked out last night. She walked over to her coffee machine and was about to start filling it, when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

A slip of Advil tablets and a note laid next to the machine. She smiled as she picked up the note, scribbled in all-caps.

HOPE YOUR HEAD DOESN’T HATE YOU TOO MUCH IN THE MORNING.

-D

Her stomach flipped as she bit her lip, reading over the note again. She liked his handwriting. It said so much about him.

She quickly took the Advil before she made her coffee and breakfast, two eggs and a little bacon. You had to have bacon on a Saturday morning, especially if you were hungover. That’s what she felt.

The rest of her afternoon consisted of paying bills and doing some work for her classes, once her head was feeling slightly better. She made a mental note to actually go see a movie next week with Charlie. Maybe they could invite Cas’s girlfriend along, as she was dying to meet Meg. After doing her work for the day, she decided to do a little baking. Saturday afternoon baking was something she did often back home, and she wanted to keep that going here in her new house.

Y/N decided on making an apple pie, one of her favorites. As she got all the ingredients together, she decided to make two, wanting to take one over to Dean as a thank you for helping her last night. Hopefully he liked pie. She turned on one of her softer playlists, as cooking or baking needed some kind of music in the background and something soft was good for her head right now.

An hour later as The Lone Bellow graced her ears, she took out two beautifully golden pies from the oven. She put them on the kitchen bench and went to shower, having still been in the same clothes from last night.

Once she was freshened up, she walked out in dark blue skinny jeans, a white tank top and a pink and white plaid shirt over the top. She took a red and white checked cloth and wrapped it around one of the pies, making sure it stayed warm as she walked over. Slipping her phone into her back pocket, she shrugged on a light jacket to shield her from the light breeze. It was starting to get colder and she wondered what winter would be like here.

Y/N left her house and walked over to Dean and Lisa’s, pie in hand. She was a little nervous and hoped that Lisa wouldn’t be there, so that she could talk to Dean alone. She was slightly ashamed of herself; he was technically a parent of a child she was teaching, and he saw her drunk. She really hated herself for it and hoped that they could talk and come to an understanding.

She quickly walked up the porch steps and rang their doorbell. She waited patiently for a few seconds, before she rang the bell again. Again, she didn’t hear anyone coming for the door. Even the Impala wasn’t in the driveway. They had probably gone out as a family. As she walked back down the porch steps, she heard some music and clinking sounds coming from the back of the house. Wondering if maybe Dean was at home, she walked around the corner to their backyard, the sounds of Metallica’s Wherever I May Roam becoming louder as she got closer. The sight that greeted her caused her eyes to widen and her heart to beat wildly in her chest.

Dean was leaning over the engine of his car with the hood open. He was wearing blue jeans that hung on his hips in the most perfect way, highlighting his cute butt. His dark grey t-shirt defined his physique, the material stretching across his chest and biceps. His arms and face were covered in grease from the car, but that only added to the hotness he was showing at that point. When he turned around and noticed her, he smirked which just killed her dead on the spot.

“Hey, I didn’t hear ya coming out here” he said, walking over to her, turning the music down a little as he walked past his little radio.

She blinked a few times, trying to get out of the trance he put her in. “I rang the bell a few times but then I heard you out here.”

He nodded as he jerked his head towards the car. “Yeah, I gotta work on her from time to time, make sure she’s still runnin’ properly.”

“Well, she’s gorgeous. I wouldn’t want her to fade away either, if I was you” she smiled.

He smirked as he looked at his priced possession. “Dad would tear me a new one if I ever did.”

She laughed a little before a silence fell between them, only the sounds of the song being heard.

And the road becomes my bride And the road becomes my bride I have stripped of all but pride So in her I do confide And she keeps me satisfied Gives me all I need And with dust in throat I crave Only knowledge will I save To the game you stay a slave

Now was as good a time as to bring up what she needed to.

“Dean, I just wanted to say thank you for helping me last night” she started but he waved her off.

“Don’t mention it, sweetheart” he smiled.

He really had to stop calling her that if she was ever going to get anywhere with this. If only he knew what that did to her.

“I know it might’ve felt like just a nice gesture, and it was, but… Dean, I’m really ashamed and I really, really hope you don’t see me differently now” she confessed.

Dean frowned, not sure what she meant. “Why would I do that?”

“It’s just that… I’m a teacher, and I’m supposed to be a certain way. You’re practically a parent to a child in my class, and you shouldn’t be seeing me like that, like how I was last night-” she rambled but the feel of his hands on her shoulders stopped her.

“Y/N, it’s really okay. I’d never tell anyone about that. I mean, shit. You gotta let loose once and a while, too. Maybe someone else would judge you for that, but I never would” he told her, his voice calming her.

“But-” Dean shook his head when she protested.

“Honestly, Y/N. It’s fine. That’s just between you and me. Okay?” he reassured her.

She sighed in relief. “Okay.”

“Good” he winked at her.

Her lips pressed into a thin line as she looked down, trying not to think about that wink.

“It’s just… I didn’t say anything stupid to you, did I? If I did, I’m so sorry” she apologized.

Dean remembered everything she said last night. It had kept him up for an hour and a half as her words circled around in his thoughts.

“Nope” he lied. “Though you did mutter something about finding Christopher Walken sexy.”

Y/N eyes widened. “What?!”

Dean guffawed loudly, shaking his head. “Oh my god, you should see your face.”

She reached up and smacked his arm, causing a small “ah” to leave his lips but he kept on laughing, as he rubbed his arm.

“You’re such an ass” she shook her head, trying not to smile at the sound of his laugh.

His laughter died down as he composed himself. “That was too easy.”

“I don’t think you deserve this pie now” she gestured to the wrapped-up dish in her hands.

His eyes lit up as he looked between her and what was in her hand. “Pie? You-you made me a pie?”

“Yeah, I did, as a thank you for last night but I don’t think I want to give it to you now” she pretended to be upset, riling him up.

“Y/N…” he said, looking her right in the eyes. “Please.”

Jesus. She was putty in his hands. This wasn’t good. She couldn’t do this with him. In that moment, all she could do was hand over the pie with a polite smile. She couldn’t let him think that she was wanted to keep going on this banter of theirs. That was dangerous and she wouldn’t be that person.

She quickly handed it over. “Since you asked so nice.”

His eyes and smile grew brighter, as he giddily lifted one corner of the cloth and smelt the cinnamon and apple.

His eyes rolled back as he moaned lightly. “Damn, that smells amazing. Thanks, Y/N. Seriously.”

“You’re welcome” she said, laughing slightly at his reaction. “I take it you like pie.”

“Like?” he scoffed. “More like obsessed.”

“Good to know” she giggled as she watched him take another whiff. “I better go.”

“Oh, before I forget. Your car should be ready on Wednesday” he told her.

She smiled with a sigh of relief. “Amazing, thank you.”

“So, I’ll see you at the shop on Wednesday” he said, his thumbs rubbing over the cloth around the pie. He was itching to dig into it.

“Yeah” she nodded. “Bye, Dean.”

“Bye. Thanks again” he lifted the pie as he thanked her.

Y/N smiled as she walked away, rounding the corner and disappearing.

As soon as she was gone, Dean walked into the house and put the pie on the kitchen counter. He washed his hands and wiped them down, his mouth salivating as the delicious scent of the pie wafted through the kitchen. He opened a drawer and took out a fork, unfolding the cloth from around the pie dish. He licked his lips he looked down at it, stabbing his fork in and digging up a big bite. He blew on it and shoved it into his mouth. The flavors exploded as he closed his eyes in delight.

“Fuck, that’s good” he mumbled to himself as he swallowed down the mouthful.

It had to be the best pie he had ever had, not including his mother’s because that wasn’t a fair fight. Did Y/N really have to be so perfect that she made an amazing pie, too? How the hell was he supposed to stay away from her if she did things like this?

You just have to he thought as he wrapped the pie up again, for later. You can’t keep doing what you’re doing with her.

If this was ever going to remain friendly, then he had to stop turning on the charm, even if that was second nature to him. She made everything so easy. Things hadn’t been easy for him in a long time.

Between what she said in her drunken state to him (she may have been drunk, but she still said it. So, it had to be true, right?) and now bringing him this pie, it was getting harder to resist her. He knew was starting to feel something for her, even if it had only been a couple of weeks. He hadn’t felt like this since the first time he was with Lisa. Once they actually got together, the spark fizzled out quite quickly as comfortability took over. Now, even that wasn’t there.

Maybe it’s only meant to be comfortable. Maybe the spark isn’t meant to stay as you get comfortable with your partner. Though, that didn’t seem right to him. If you were really in love, then wouldn’t the spark stick around?

He had never been more confused about what to do, but he knew what the right thing was. It was to stick it out with Lisa, and that’s what he needed to do.

No matter how much he thought about Y/N.

As Y/N walked towards her house, her smiled dropped. What happened back there wasn’t just a friendly neighborhood chat. That was more. Much more. That was something two people did when they’re getting to know each other as more than friends. That was banter and flirting and messing around with each other with silly jokes. There were looks that made her tingle all over, and polite words that comforted her.

He made everything so easy. What she was beginning to feel for him was so much more than what she had felt before. This feeling wasn’t even there the first time she met Ethan. She knew she was fooling herself when she said this was just a little crush.

As she entered her house, Y/N was determined.

Dean Winchester was not going to have an effect on her.

He just wasn’t.

-x-

Tags: @flamencodiva​ @deanwanddamons​ @winchest09​ @katehuntington​ @akshi8278​ @hobby27​ @michellethetvaddict​ @spngirl05​ @kyjey​ @halesandy​ @440mxs-wife​ @stoneyggirl​ @deanswaywardgirl​ @wonder-cole​ @that-one-gay-girl​ @redbarn1995​ @marianita195​ @babypink224221​ @deans-baby-momma​ @parinarain​ @thoughts-and-funnies​ @mandalou29​ @castiels-a-winchester​ @perpetualabsurdity​

[moonyoon5839]

Jia's ships with BTS

Jin aka JiJi

In this ship, you get to see the baby side of Jia that you rarely see. Jia appreciates the way he cheers her up when she feels down. He knows when to listen to her or just cheer her up with his jokes. He took care for her and her sisters when he was also young so she is very thankful of him.

ship things ・jia being a baby ・making tea for her ・taking care of jia from when she was 12

Yoongi aka YoonJi

They are almost like twins. From height to personality. Jia thinks only a few can understand her well. In fact, it is true that she has a very confusing personality but, it wasn't that hard for Yoongi to look through her since he was once where she was too. All in all, this ship is cute. Skinship isn't anything new, they do it all the time even on camera, but you have to look close because they aren't verbal. Fun fact, she was No.39 during her basketball player days. It was a coincidence.

ship things ・holding hands/linking arms ・producing music together ・...naps

Hoseok aka Sun and little Moon/우리 우주

Hoseok brings out Jia's bright side. She loves seeing him smile and so does he. Hoseok likes to baby Jia. Even though she is the leader and often stays at the back to let the others shine, Hoseok never forgets to give Jia the complements she deserves. As a young trainee, Jia thought he was the best dancer. She looks up to him and his natural leadership. She always want to see him smile and his tears makes her cry too.

Their ship name in Korean is 'Our Universe/우리 우주' which was given by the fans and 'Sun and little Moon' was made by Hoseok and Jia. The fans used 'Our Universe' before they actually made the official ship name but they like the name 'Our Universe/우리 우주' too. Among the Korean fans, 'Our Universe/우리 우주' is used a bit more since 'Sun and little Moon' was made in English but they still use both.

ship things ・hyping up each other on stage ・sharing food ・jia's personal mood lifter

Namjoon aka LEADERS/리더즈

They don't have many interactions on camera but those little moments are really cute. The two are often seen discussing about difficult problems and what goes on their intelligent brains. One time, they did a stage with a Mafia/Enemy concept and there was a scene where they glare at each other as the leader in a meeting room set. It was a rare and opposite moment since this ship was really all cute and fluffy. The moment will never be forgotten.

ship things ・English convos ・jia's blunt compliments ・and namjoon blushing

Jimin aka MOCHIs

The ship name is obviously because of their cheeks. Although they have a very cute nickname, they have a love and hate relationship. The two are also known for their insane stage presence. They are in charge of the sexy parts and many idols admire how they can control their expressions.

ship things ・fighting who's taller ・bickering ・leaving massages on sticky notes

Taehyung aka TaeJi

The little baby bear and his Noona. That's how many people describe the twos relationship. The girl let's him do anything he wants to with her. He's Jia's baby No.2. Taehyung is also obsessed with Jia's rap parts like he is to the other members of the rap team. His favorite is definitely ddu-du ddu-du and Ugh. Even when she looks like she hates it, she loves his big bear hugs.

ship things ・buying clothes for her cause she hates to go shoping ・back hugs ・taehyung moving things to the right 'cause jia's left handed and it gets in the way

Jungkook aka KookJi

Known as The Muscle babies. They are very close to each other. They do duets together and there voice sounds so so good together. With Jungkook's light-as-a-feather voice and Jia's smooth-but-deep voice, it's just... WoW. They also go to the gym together too.

ship things ・jia feeding jungkook cause he's hungry 24/7 no offense tho ・going to the gym together ・harmonizing at random times

See more➢ Master list

[bat-lings]

Thoughts on StephCass?

(((one of those asks that are sooo old I’m lowkey ashamed lol. Still don’t have quite as much free time as I had when I started this blog, so I just cleaned up this ancient draft and called it a day. It feels kind of incomplete still but it’s the best I can do for now, my bad! Hope the answer’s decent enough!)))

One of those awesome ships I have 0 reason for not shipping other than personal taste tbh? I prefer to read them as best friends/sisters. But everything I have to say about them can be read with romantic lenses too so there! Their dynamic is the most precious things that’s for sure.

Cass’ character arc was in great part about learning to have an identity  outside of Batgirl. To live a life that was more than training in a cave by day and beating baddies by night. But also to prove to herself that she could be more than what her background made of her.

Steph, ever insecure, ever dismissed by the batfam, had to learn to trust in her own abilities. She wanted to prove to others and herself that she was cut for vigilantism, and that she was more than the Cluemaster’s daughter.

With that start-configuration, Cass immediately becomes an object of admiration for Steph.

[Robin (1993) #88]

She’s introduced to Steph as that perfect fighter, that unattainable goal, with a bat on her chest and a solid place in the fam. She’s everything Steph wants to be.

[Batgirl (2000) #26]

It’s adorable and highly telling that Steph imagines Cass’ presence to cheer her up, but the part that caught my attention is this: “You’ve got these insane abilities and […] you barely even look at me, much less talk…”

Steph craved contact with Cass from the start. She’s the main initiator in their dynamic since at this point Cassandra hardly cares about making friends or getting to know people outside of their masks— she was 100% okay with Bruce being just Batman for a good while and didn’t care to wonder who he was beyond that.

Cass is still that admirable but mysterious and distant figure that Steph craves to approach.

Yet that distance falls away and Steph gets to see grasps of the girl behind the mask. In Batgirl #16, Cass seeks Stephanie’s help because one of her investigation requires to read a clue. Which Cass can’t, her amazing fighting skills were obtained through abuse and great gaps in what’s normal knowledge for most people. It’s a glance into the not-so-glam reality behind the badass figure. Step by step, Steph is getting closer to the human being behind the mask.

And then there’s this:

[Batgirl (2000) #21]

I think that’s the moment Steph truly saw Cassandra, saw her beyond the ultimate fighter and icon. The distance broke, the image of the perfect warrior lets something else peek through— Cass is that young girl that shatters at the idea that she could’ve taken a life; she’s vulnerable and in need of reassurance.

Quickly enough, Cass saw Stephanie in turn.

[Batgirl (2000) #28]

I love that page. I love it so much. In just a few panels, Cass understands what took years (and the Batgirl mantle) for other batfam members to understand about Steph. How her determination and force of will can never be tamed. How that’s to be respected and admired too. How much sincerity she puts in whatever she’s doing.

In a way, each girl envies the other for what she feels she’s lacking. Steph envies Cass for her skills and place in the batclan. Cass envies Steph for having the normal(ish) life she doesn’t dare dream of.

[Batgirl (2000) #38]

That scene holds a lot of weight considering Cass’ tenuous story with physical & romantic attraction. It can be othering to feel like the only one ill-at-ease with something that seems to come so naturally for other people.

Yet they have so much in common too. They get each other in a way few other people can.

[Batgirl (2000) #28, #38 & #53]

Highlights: “When’s it going to stop, Cass? What’s it gonna take to get people like the Penguin out of our lives? our of her life?” But also: “Not bad for the daughter of an old failed bank-robber, eh?” Man can Cass sympathize with that. More than both having grown with abusive fathers, the girls are both about building a better destiny for themselves than the one that’s expected for them. Beating their backgrounds to become heroes, giving others, especially other kids, what they didn’t get to have in their childhood. For all their differences, Steph’s and Cass’ cores align.

But it’s more than that. They complement and inspire each other. They have a lot to teach, and a lot to bring to each other.

[Batgirl (2000) #27]

Babs tried time and time again to get Cass to let go and live outside of vigilantism. But Steph is the first one who actually succeeded. Her emotional competency is to be saluted (it’s what allowed her to breach through Damian’s walls too).

Steph brought Cass something that she didn’t even know she desperately needed. In a typically Steph fashion she carved her place in Cass’ heart without even realizing. For all that Steph was the initial motor to her relationship with Cass, her absence inevitably creates a void.

[Batgirl (2000) #28]

[Batgirl (2000) #58 & #67]

Much like Cass’ image was the one Steph summoned to give herself courage, Steph is always at a corner of Cass’ mind.

Cass found a friend at the moment where she desperately needed it, and Steph found someone who gets what is her greatest strength and respects her for it. They share a common will to emancipate from their circumstances and to prove themselves. Both their differences and similarities bring them together, and they made the best of it. I think they bring the best out of each other, they put each other up. It’s hands down one of my favorite dynamic in the batfam.

[gimmethemprimals]

Shaded Skies

Word count: 11,080

Warnings: Body horror, violence, mentions of death, dissociation

(The google doc for this story is available in a l*nk in reblogs/notes as well!)

Skybreak had wasted too much of his life for this. The Tempest Spire wasn’t safe. But when things fall apart in front of him and not a single one of his efforts succeeds, he has to do something. Anything.

Section I

“Oh, Skybreak, I wasn’t expecting to see you here!” Mel cheerfully said, watching as a grey Ridgeback slowly approached her. He said nothing in response, instead stopping just feet before the Arcane Pearlcatcher. She raised an eyebrow in curiosity, her tail flicking back and forth. They stood upon a large balcony that overlooked one of the many courtyards of the Tempest Spire, Mel leaning on the stiff metal railing.

Skybreak’s expression was stormy, to say the least. The two stared at each other for several seconds, Mel quietly waiting for a reply. When more time passed without any conversation, she cleared her throat. “....Well? Are you just going to stand there?” She chirped, seemingly unbothered by the other dragon’s silence.

He narrowed his eyes. But he let out a sigh, and finally began to speak. “....You have a lot of audacity.”

A look of surprise flashed over her face, and Mel raised a hand to her chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She seemed quite genuine in her reaction.. but this seemed to aggravate him even more.

“Really? You’re just going to stand there and talk to me like you don’t know why I’m here?” He growled, taking a step forward towards Mel. There wasn’t just frustration or anger in his voice- there was bitterness. An intense, and overwhelming bitterness. It was still growing as well.

Mel’s large ears were pinned to her head, and she nervously glanced around. Standing up straight from the railing, thoughts began to run through her mind as she spoke again. “Skybreak, I understand that you’re angry. I’m so sorry if any of my past words or actions have ever hurt you.” Despite her soft and kind voice, Mel’s body was tense.

The moments of silence were complemented by the booming thunder from the stormy skies above. Seeing that Skybreak wasn’t going to respond, Mel continued to speak.

“You should remember from our last… misunderstanding that I mean absolutely no  harm! We can resolve this with words, and maybe if I can… learn what’s bothering you, we can become friends again!”

“....again?” Skybreak hissed.

Mel stared at him with wide eyes. “Yes! Again! We were friends once, were we not? I remember when I was first promoted to Administrator, you came along to help me with my new position! I thought you were a rather great friend, and your affinity for Arcane magic was amazing! But after that one office party, you just seemed to… drift away from me. Did I do anything back then to anger you?”

Skybreak took a step towards the smaller dragon. “Did you do anything to anger me….. What a question,” he spat. “I saw something, Mel. I saw something that night that still haunts me.”

He took another step. “Do you know what it’s like to see a dead body, Mel?”

Mel’s breath hitched at the words. “W- What?” 

Skybreak’s lip curled. “I noticed that you had disappeared after a couple of hours with a group of other exalts. At first, I really thought nothing of it but- but when the party ended, and I was making my way back to my living quarters… I know what death smells like. I had just been hoping that perhaps it had been an unfortunate animal, or maybe someone had forgotten to clean up their meal, but when I went to investigate the hallway that it was wafting from…” He seemed to cringe as the memory came back to him.

“....Oh. It was you who found it.” She just barely let out a whisper as she spoke.

“...It? Mel. That was a dragon. They had a name. Oliver Reesedrake. All their magic was gone when I found them, it was like something had somehow ripped it all out of their body. Like someone had ripped it out. I didn’t… I didn’t know them that well but I still… I still worked with them. I still…” Skybreak quietly trailed off. The thoughts that he had repressed for months ripped through his mind. It was as if the rage he carried had all been snuffed out like a candle.

Mel blinked. Despite what the dragon in front of her had said, she didn’t seem to have been fazed. But as he looked up at her again, her expression softened. 

“Skybreak..”

The flame inside of him ignited once more. “I still knew that they were a good dragon. It took me a while to recover from seeing that. But I’m telling you about this because I thought about that day a lot. I thought about it then, and I still think about it now. And I realized something. Oliver was one of the dragons who left the party early with you.” He almost snarled the last sentence out.

Mel was left speechless as Skybreak continued. “When I described Oliver’s body to Conrad, he just… stared at me. Then he told me something very interesting. A corpse should still have the remains of magic for a very long time after a dragon has died. Even those who have passed from Magical Decay, they still have something within them that remains. A dragon who has died with all their magic missing is a tell-tale sign of something else. A clear sign of the Shade. But the Justice Department couldn’t do anything about it. Conrad tried investigating but- even Shade Management couldn’t find a trace of foul play. But I wasn’t satisfied. I couldn’t just- brush it off. So I started doing my own investigating.

You know what was curious? I realized that Oliver hadn’t been the first exalt in the Tempest Spire or Lightning Farm to have died like this. No explanation, no reasoning, only limp bodies with no traces of magic left inside of them. What was also curious? This only started after you joined the exalted forces. I found more and more things that didn’t make sense- but when I brought it up, nobody listened. Nobody listened when I told them it was suspicious. Nobody listened when I screamed that you had done something, that you were somehow connected- nobody listened until I was stripped of my title and demoted. They still aren’t listening to me.”

The Ridgeback went silent.

Mel struggled to find the words to say. “I… Skybreak, I’m so sorry. The shock of going through something like that must be terrible. Trauma like that can mess with a dragon’s ability to think logically. If I can just speak to you about this more, get you someone to explain everything to, then maybe we can resolve this properly.” 

The seemingly kind reply sent Skybreak into a rage. “...Resolve this properly? Resolve this properly?! I know I’m not going crazy, I know that I’m thinking logically, I know that I’m right.” He got closer to her, Mel being unable to back up any further against the railing.

“I did not throw away my job, my friends, my reputation, JUST for you to stand there looking like a complete and utter idiot!” Skybreak pounced forward and violently grabbed Mel by the collar of her coat, the other dragon letting out a yelp as she struggled against the large Ridgeback. With her feet barely touching the ground, she managed to partially spin them both around and unleashed a large blast of magic to push the two of them apart.

Skybreak slammed into the metal railing with a loud crash, and Mel just barely kept herself upright as she recoiled from the spell. She breathed heavily as she watched the Ridgeback recover from the hit, neither of them speaking for several moments. She glanced down at the courtyard, and around the walls, wondering if any dragons down there had heard the blast or if any security cameras had caught the unfolding scene. It seemed as if the looming thunder had muffled it, as she saw no exalts looking in their general direction. She couldn’t be sure about the cameras though.

She was taken out of her thoughts as Skybreak slowly began to get up again, finally rising to his feet. He looked down at the ground but haggardly raised his gaze to look up at the Pearlcatcher. The air seemed to grow colder as she watched him. She couldn’t tell if the look in his eyes was one of desperation… or…

Skybreak let out another growl. “I’m not done, Mel. We both know that you’re a walking and talking lie,” he began to approach her again. “You aren’t the dainty little Pearlcatcher that everyone thinks you are. You’re not the kind Oversight Administrator, you’re not the trustworthy Arcane dragon, you’re not-” He took a moment to let out a humorless laugh. 

“YOU’RE NOT EVEN A DRAGON! YOU’RE A CREATURE OF THE SHADE!” His voice strained as he screeched the last sentences out.

Mel’s face fell as she looked at the poor excuse for a Ridgeback in front of her. Her ears were pinned down to her head in reaction to the noise that Skybreak had created. The panicked expression she had on her face for the duration of the confrontation slowly melted into something blank and unreadable.

“...Huh.”

Confusion crashed over Skybreak at Mel’s simple response. He stopped in his tracks entirely, staring at her with bewilderment on his face. 

“I didn’t think you’d ever actually say it! Everyone said that you were insane for accusing me of being some sort of-” she took a moment to snort, “Shade beast, but I didn’t know you actually believed it! I just thought you had some ulterior reasons to hate me!”

Before Skybreak could respond, she took a step forward instead. “You’re the only one who’s been able to figure it out so far! Does that make you feel special? I think I’d feel special.” She was practically rambling at this point. “Everyone else said that you were insane! Or well, an idiot. But they seem to be the idiots here, huh? Idiots living in blissful ignorance at least.” Her voice was… joyful.

The Ridgeback in front of her began to back up, swearing once he became aware of the railing behind him. He looked around desperately, wondering if anyone could see what was unfolding on the terrace. How was nobody watching this? He was just about to call out to the dragons below, get their attention, make sure that-

“Do you really have nothing to say? You should be happy! I just confirmed a theory that’s ruined your life from trying to prove it!” Mel’s tone was mocking.

Electricity sparked from Skybreak’s hands. “Why would you tell me this? You’re- you’re lying! You’re lying to have me attack you and- and get me arrested! You just-” He was frantic, he couldn’t believe a single thing that Mel was saying. He didn’t want his theory to be true. He never wanted it to be true.

Mel let out a laugh. “Why am I telling you this? Oh, you poor sweet fool, I suppose you can at least figure out that any sane being wouldn’t just… unveil their secrets to any other living creature. But that’s the thing. Living creature.” 

While usually quick-witted, the onsetting panic within Skybreak slowed his ability to interpret what the… Pearlcatcher… was saying. His eyes darted around- he wanted to run, wanted to escape… but there was no escape on the balcony. Just the courtyard below.

“Aww, look at your face! You look like a newborn hatchling..” Mel took a step forward. “If I must explain it to you... “ Mel’s body seemed to fall apart at the seams as pitch-black tar seeped from her eyes and mouth, her draconic form dissipating within a matter of seconds. What stood in its place was a horrific amalgamation of flesh, blood, Shade, and other body matter. Its eyes turned pitch black, the stitches that held together the bits of skin and scale looked as if they were going to rip apart as it fell onto all fours. 

“You’re going to die here.”

Section II

“You’re acting like I’m going to die right here and right now!” Alatus chortled, the elder Guardian’s laugh deep and hearty.

“I was just saying! You complain so much about the other Executives and your meetings that I’m starting to wonder exactly why you haven’t retired yet.” Conrad playfully pushed against Alatus’s side as they walked together, the grin on his face increasing his punchability 10 fold. In retaliation, Alatus lightly smacked Conrad’s back, the small Ridgeback almost stumbling forward before catching himself.

“H- Hey!” Conrad loudly yelped. Alatus just chuckled to himself as he watched his subordinate’s face flush with embarrassment. “I didn’t even hit you that hard son! You oughta get some strength in your legs before a gust of wind blows y’over!” 

“I’ll have you know that I exercise every day-”

“Well, y’certainly don’t do it enough!”

Conrad rolled his eyes, smacking Alatus back on the arm. “Some of us haven’t had 4 centuries to work on their muscles!” The Guardian blew air out of his nose but said nothing in response.

“Anyways, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted-'' Alatus let out a noise of protest but the Ridgeback simply ignored him. “You always leave those ‘Productivity Meetings’ looking like you just stepped on a Quillrunner. I’m starting to doubt that you guys actually do anything productive in there, honestly.”

“Oh please, you don’t seem to exactly appreciate your fellow Directors either, and If you think I’ve stepped on a Quillrunner, you should really see Aster,” Alatus mused. “He’s always sparking with electricity whenever the slightest thing ticks him off- It’s a wonder that he hasn’t blown Kairan or Phorcys up yet. But sometimes I can’t help but agree with him when it comes to those two.”

Conrad showed a sarcastic look of shock on his face. “You? Agreeing with Aster? By the clouds, I can’t believe it! What next?”

Alatus stared at him with mock anger, “You really enjoy testing me kid, huh? You better get that mouth shut before we get to Aster’s office, he’ll find out some outrageous way to fine your agency before you can even say ‘Hey’”

“...Wait, we’re heading to the Oversight Wing?” The Ridgeback stared at him in momentary confusion.

“Well, technically we’ll be droppin’ by my office first, but yes. I need to get some… paperwork to Aster.”

“Paperwork? You could’ve just grabbed an intern and sent em on over if it was just paperwork.”

Alatus sighed as Conrad stated the obvious. “I need to discuss some topics personally with him. Also, I need to take care of some.. other things as well. Those interns need a break anyways, it’s peak dry season and I’d rather not have to deal with filing another workplace injury report… which Aster would probably badger me about regardless.”

The Ridgeback nodded as Alatus spoke, taking a moment to think.  “Pff, alright. I suppose you’re not as buddy buddy with Aster as I so ‘rudely’ presumed. That’s got me thinking, do you even like any of your fellow Executives? Seems like a no to me,” He guessed.

“I don’t exactly get along too well with most of them, but I don’t hate all of them. Yilses and Delyin are alright… and did y’forget about Nerevar? He’s like a son to me!.... A son that doesn’t know when to shut up, but a son nonetheless,” Alatus snorted. Conrad raised an eyebrow.

“Are you talking about Nerevar, or me?” Conrad tested, an amused look on his face as he nudged at Alatus with his elbow. Alatus couldn’t help but laugh at the Ridgeback’s comment. 

“Well, I could say that it could definitely apply to both of you! Or at least, you when you’re not shaking in your boots tryin’ to interact with anyone who isn’t me,” Alatus teased.

The gray Ridgeback went red once again as he hastily attempted to defend himself. “Hey! That’s not true, I have other friends y’know! And I’m not that anxious, I’m just aware of myself when I’m interacting with others.”

Alatus raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh. Aware of yourself. But please, enlighten me on your friends? No, Nerevar does not count before you try to include him.” Conrad seemed to wilt upon the denial of Nerevar.

“Well- I mean…. there’s Vavin?”

“Your boyfriend also does not count.”

Conrad withered more, “… um, Isolt?” Alatus continued to stare at Conrad, an expectant look on his face. The Ridgeback’s face was hot as he continued speaking. “Oh! There’s also Skybreak… but uh. Hrm. I can’t think of anyone… else. Fine, fair play.” He stared off, a mix of frustration and embarrassment flushing through him.

Alatus seemed satisfied with the Ridgeback’s answer… but there was an aura of awkwardness seeping off of him. “Hrmph, see? I’m not judgin’ you for not having a ton of friends, I just think you need to be aware of yourself sometimes!....” He trailed off.

Conrad was snapped out of his momentary embarrassment as he noticed his boss’s own uneasiness. “...Alatus?”

The Guardian glanced back over at him, seeming to be debating internally over what to say. “Sorry son, I’m just thinkin. It’s just that you brought up Skybreak. You two are still friends?”

The Ridgeback was now just… confused. “Um, yes? Why wouldn’t we be? I actually just spoke to him this morning before work started.” He tilted his head curiously as he peered at Alatus. His boss looked away, his tail was swaying back and forth as he thought about what would be best to say.

“Well. I thought that after everything… involving Skybreak, that perhaps you two should have drifted apart?” His tone was a fair bit more... serious now. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Conrad stared at him quizzically. He had never been the most aware dragon in social situations.

“Well… all those incidents surrounding him son. At first, I just felt sorry for him. But now…?” Alatus was pensive. “Well, I gotta say, I’m surprised that you’ve kept up that friendship with him.”

Conrad couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Alatus, I’ve been friends with Skybreak since I became an exalt. Just because he got… demoted or something doesn’t mean that I’d just drop him like… that.” He dug his claws into his palms nervously.

Alatus let out a sigh. “Son, it wasn’t just that he got demoted. I could care less about that. But you can’t be that oblivious to the reason why. You know Phorcys, she wouldn’t do something like that unless things got… bad.”

“.....He’s a good dragon Alatus.”

“And I’m not saying he’s not a good dragon on the inside Con. But I might’ve been able to respect him a couple years ago, nowadays? Not so much. He’s been spiraling for awhile now.”

They had both slowed to a stop, the two of them staring at each other awkwardly. Conrad bit his lip as he took in the Guardian’s words. “Of course I know that Alatus! But I just… I don’t think I could ever bring myself to just… leave him. Especially when he’s like this.”

“Con, you gotta look out for yourself sometimes-”

“I am Alatus, I’m a grown dragon, I know how to deal with my relationships. Kinda. But you have to trust me, Skybreak is just…”

“Making bad decisions? Going down the wrong path?” Alatus grit his teeth as he interrupted from where Conrad had trailed off. “Conrad I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve seen dragons like this before. It never ends well. It won’t end well for you either if you continue to just act like everything is fine and dandy with him.” A chord seemed to have been struck inside of Alatus.

“But those are your experiences Alatus-”

“Yes, my experiences. But do I have to remind you I’m nearly 20 times older than you? I’ve seen a lot more. It never ends well.” The elder Guardian almost growled as he spoke. But upon seeing the nervous look on Conrad’s face, he suddenly became aware of how he towered over the Ridgeback.

“...I’m sorry Conrad, I know that I’m probably not helpin’ by acting like an elderly Thunderstomp. But remember what I said son. I wasn’t lying when I told you that it never ended well for me at least. Or for some of the dragons I used to know.” 

Conrad sighed, “Yeah, yeah. Just trust me Alatus, Skybreak will be fine. I’ll make sure of it.”

Alatus looked at him incredulously, but rolled his eyes. “Alright, whatever you say kid. Now c’mon, let’s get going. We’ve got places to be and dragons to bother.” Thus, they went off on their way again, the previous topic having been abandoned. But that didn’t exactly mean that it had left either of their minds.

Eventually, they found themself in the Security Wing of the Spire. Conrad waited patiently as Alatus took a moment to fumble with his keys before entering his office. Despite how close he was to the Guardian, he had never once stepped inside the room. It was almost an anomaly to him, and was probably just as strange to any other dragon in the Spire. Most reasoned that the Guardian just didn’t want anyone to see the mess that had accumulated over his centuries of work.

Few exalts passed by, some giving respectful nods to the Director as he awkwardly waved back. But as he leaned against the wall, he couldn’t help but think about Skybreak again. They had met up that morning- an hour before Conrad had even started working. Conrad had almost forgotten the last time he had the time to talk to Skybreak for an extended period of time.

It was nice. It was casual. They were just in Conrad’s office, talking. It wasn’t about anything in particular. But Skybreak seemed to be distracted during most of it. Conrad closed his eyes, trying to think back on what exactly the other Ridgeback had been talking about. He had asked Skybreak about his plans for today, right? A lot had happened today. It was difficult to recall the exact conversation.

Right. Skybreak took a weird amount of time to respond… and then he just told him that he had something big brewing. It was weird, wasn’t it. Sky wasn’t an Administrator anymore, he was a Manager. What on Sornieth could Skybreak have been planning? Wait. Skybreak might have been attempting to redeem himself, perhaps talk to Phorcys? Conrad hadn’t gotten a clear answer before the topic changed. Maybe Skybreak was going to reconcile with Mel.

His train of thought was interrupted when the door to the mysterious office swung open, Alatus stepping out. With the door closing just as fast as he had opened it, the Guardian made sure to lock it as well. Conrad looked down curiously at the unlabeled folder his boss had been carrying. He hadn’t been caught up in any of the ongoing projects in the General Department for a while now.

Alatus took notice to the look on his subordinate’s face. But before Conrad could start to question him, he shrugged his shoulders. “Nothin a Director needs to know about,” he said, “Executive work son, you’ll learn about it if we ever need to get your agency involved in the General Projects.” Conrad shot him another look- before noticing what else the Guardian had been holding. His curiosity transformed into confusion as he stared down at the spear that Alatus wielded in his left hand.

“What, are you askin’ about this?” He stared down at the old and battered weapon like he had been the one to ask a question about it. “I’ve been meanin’ to get this repaired, it’s an ancient thing like me. I used it when I was Captain of the Guard, which was what, 200 years ago? I think it deserves a bit better than to sit there gaining dust on my shelf,'' Alatus huffed, “Anyways, I need to get this file down to Aster before he chews me out for being 2 minutes late.” That seemed to temporarily silence any questions from the younger Ridgeback, despite feeling slightly unnerved by the sight of the weapon. Thus, the two went on their way to travel to the Oversight wing.

The two walked in silence. Both him and Alatus were deep in thought now. It was a comfortable silence at least. Well, sorta. Conrad couldn’t help but keep glancing over at the old Guardian. It wasn’t impossible to reason that Alatus had gone through a lot through his centuries of existence. But just what exactly had been plaguing him? Conrad had never really known about the history of the Tempest Spire. He had heard whispers and rumors of events that had happened decades ago, but he never really cared to know. Well, until now. He’d have to take a trip down to the record rooms eventually he supposed.

Alatus seemed to be thinking just as intensely. Conrad couldn’t interpret what emotions were going through his head. I mean, he never could in general. It was just one of those traits that the Guardian had. As Conrad took his gaze away from the other dragon, he suddenly became aware of the strange path they had taken through the hallways. He paused to stare- wait.

“Um, Alatus… this hall leads to Maintenance. The Oversight Wing is in the west, why are we going in an entirely different direction?” The Ridgeback was more than confused by the logistics of their walk.

Alatus let out a quiet laugh, “Just a shortcut kid.”

“But how would it be shorter than getting through-”

“If we go directly, we’re going to end up in one of the main halls. Do you really want to get caught in the rush? Especially since it's lunchtime, dragons are going to be walking and forth between the cafeterias and their workrooms,” Alatus explained.

“Ah, that makes…. A lot more sense. I still don’t know how exactly we’ll get from the cafeteria to Oversight, but whatever.” “Just don’t question it son, I know this place like the back of my hand. I’ve walked through these hallways a dozen times!” 

But before Conrad could respond, a cacophony of noise crashed through the air. It was nearly impossible to distinguish each sound from another.

Conrad nearly jumped, the two of them freezing in place. Alatus let out a grunt as he whipped his head towards the source of the noise. Conrad took a moment to follow… The Tempest Spire was a loud place already, what with the constant booming thunder and the loud population of workers... But this felt different. It had been nearly impossible to distinguish each sound from another. There was screaming, was that the crash of metal? Conrad glanced over at Alatus, the two making eye contact for a split second.

“What was that?” Conrad asked, rising terror in his voice.

Alatus’s eyes widened as he took a moment to think. Conrad’s question was left ignored as the Guardian immediately made his way towards the direction of the sound. Conrad took a moment to follow after him, taken off guard. Alatus led them down the hall, glancing over at a small group of exalts they passed by. “Hey! Where did that noise come from?” He barked.

They were taken off guard by the sudden appearance of the Executive, taking a moment to gape at the Guardian. One Wildclaw straightened their posture and shakily pointed a claw down the hallway, “Uh- I think it came from the outer courtyards, we just left the cafeteria, Sir!” The other three nodded to confirm the Wildclaw’s statement.

Alatus let out a huff, “Outer courtyards... that might be a problem for us,” he said as he continued on his march. Conrad hastily followed after. He felt unnerved that he hadn’t heard anything else since the first loud crash. What could have happened? The two emerged into the main room that connected into the cafeteria… and the balconies. Conrad was on high alert as he glanced around, trying to take in everything. There were no exalts around- had they been the first to come to the noise? 

Conrad didn’t have time to answer that as Alatus suddenly bolted through the balcony entrance, nearly stumbling as he ran after. He slowed to a stop once outside, taking a moment to take in his surroundings. They stood upon the far right side of a terrace. Conrad could bet that it would have been one normally populated with exalts on a late-night break. But now there was only a single Pearlcatcher standing there on the opposite side from them. 

He let out a silent gasp as he stared at the condition of the balcony. The tough metal railing that had surrounded the platform looked as if a wrecking ball had crashed through it, with a section of the floor having been wiped out as well. Wisps of Arcane magic floated through the air around the destruction. Conrad could only guess that it had been the remains of an unsuccessful spell. Or at the very least, a spell that had been cast far too late to do anything.

His eyes darted back to the lone dragon, squinting. It only took a moment after for him to process who it was. Mel Runeshell. A Maintenance Administrator, and a dragon who for all intents and purposes had never gotten herself into much trouble. Well, except for when she was dragged into it by someone else. She turned her head to face Conrad and Alatus, terror in her eyes.

Alatus opened his mouth, just about to interrogate her- before the words died in his throat. Something seemed to have caught his eye. Conrad stared at him quizzically, taking a moment to follow the Executive’s gaze. When he did, he felt as if he had been punched in the gut. Down on the courtyard grounds laid the still figure of an all too familiar dragon. Skybreak Asterope. Former Oversight Administrator… and one of his closest friends. Conrad ran forward to what remained of the ruined railing, staring down in horror.

A handful of exalts roughly surrounded the Ridgeback, horror or shock on their faces. The remains of the balcony laid next to him, and Conrad could see the same wisps of magic flying around. There was a large dent in the ground underneath him, seeming almost too large for the Ridgeback to have created alone. As Conrad’s brain took in the details, he thought hard to connect the dots in his head. Then it clicked. 

Mel and Skybreak had gotten into a fight. That was easy to understand. But in one way or another, Skybreak had been thrown off the balcony. He could only assume that Mel had unleashed a blast of magic... that would explain the damage sustained against the structure, and the wisps that continued to float around. Alatus seemed to have processed this as well.

Turning his attention back to the terrified Pearlcatcher before him, Alatus let out a roar. “What happened here?!” Mel began to look even more panicked as she desperately attempted to find something to say. “I- I didn’t mean to! I thought-” Dread filled Conrad as he listened to Mel’s cries, his gaze still locked on Skybreak.

Alatus’s eyes narrowed, “You didn’t mean to? You flung him off the balcony!”

Mel stumbled over her words at the Guardian’s aggression. “I- I HAD TO! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I-”

Before Mel’s panic could continue, Conrad let out a gasp. Every dragon turned their heads back down to the courtyard grounds as they followed his gaze. Audible shock could be heard as they looked down in a combination of relief and terror. The previously still Skybreak had begun to stir. Mel inexplicably appeared even more terrified than she had already been. The Ridgeback slowly rose from the ground. Wide eyed and panicked, he looked up at the balcony…yet somehow, he seemed entirely unharmed. But a strangled noise came out of Conrad as he saw something horrifying.

Inky black tendrils dripped off of Skybreak’s body, harshly fighting the remains of Arcane magic surrounding him. It seemed to come right from the Ridgeback. Conrad could recognize the Shade from a mile away. All logical thought was thrown out of the window as he tried to come up with a reasonable explanation as to what he was witnessing. Skybreak looked just as horrified. Before he could speak a single word, Mel started screaming.

“LOOK! HE’S A CREATURE OF THE SHADE! HE- HE TRIED TO KILL ME!”

Everything around him slowed down as Mel screamed out exactly what Conrad had been thinking. Skybreak couldn’t… no, he couldn’t!.... But there was no denying the presence of the monstrous abyss upon the other Ridgeback. Conrad began to shake. It didn’t make any sense. He’d known Skybreak for countless years. He didn’t see anything, he had never seen any signs. For the Stormcatcher’s sake, he had met with the dragon that very morning! He was the Director of Shade Management- if any dragon could’ve recognized the clues, it should have been him! Why wasn’t it him! It-

Conrad was thrown back into the real world as the sound of thundering lightning shot through the air. He let out a silent scream as he realized what had just happened. Alatus had flung his spear at Skybreak. The other Ridgeback let out a shriek as the electrified blade just barely skimmed past his face and slammed into the ground behind him. The impact into the ground caused the weapon to practically shatter, the blade stuck deep within the terrain. Bright crimson spurted from Skybreak’s cheek as Alatus let out a roar that made Conrad’s blood run cold.

“DON’T LET HIM GET AWAY YOU FOOLS, CHASE HIM!”

Section III

Oh, Skybreak was a fool. Blood roared in his ears as the sound of yelling, screaming, and footsteps took over his senses. The fresh wound on his cheek shot pain through his face, a grimace forming on the Ridgeback’s face. But he didn’t have time to focus on the superficial cut. Thoughts raced through his head, but they weren’t complete. He couldn’t answer how, or why, or even what. He could only run.

He dashed through the courtyard as dragons chased after him, the reality of the situation fully dawning on Skybreak. Magic surged through his hands, and he hastily threw out a spell into the crowd. He didn’t care which spells, he just needed to keep them away. He needed to keep them away to have a moment to just think. If he couldn’t, he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to get to the end of the day still breathing. Blasts of lightning tore through the air, getting so close to him that he could’ve sworn he could smell the singed fabric of his coat.

The Ridgeback cringed as he unleashed a blast of magic directly into the crowd. He could see that it had directly slammed into several dragons. By the Stormcatcher, he prayed that they were okay. He didn’t want to hurt any of them! He just wanted to protect himself! But he couldn't feel regretful now, not when his own life was on the line. He heard screaming. Was it one of the dragons he hit? He didn’t know, nor wanted to know.

But he was still making ground. His gaze sharpened as he focused on his one and only goal. The gate entrance. If he could make it through the large wall that surrounded the courtyard, he could possibly make it out to the Lightning Farm. The watchtowers wouldn’t be occupied at this time, Conrad had told him so that very morning. Skybreak tensed. His heart hurt as he thought about Conrad…along with the look his friend had given him just moments earlier. What did he think of him now? Was he terrified? Could he even believe what was happening?... Did he feel betrayed? Skybreak let out a shout as another spear flew past him. He couldn’t focus on his emotions right now, or else he’d be dead by the hour.

He cursed himself for how rusty his magic casting was. Although he had always detested his Arcane spells, it was currently the only thing keeping him alive. Or at least the only thing keeping him alive for just a couple seconds longer. The crowd of dragons chasing him seemed to grow even larger. He swore. These were dragons he had worked with before. Dragons that should’ve respected him as their Administrator once! Dragons he had happily talked to, joked with, even dragons he had fought with. But now he couldn’t even tell their faces apart. He didn’t particularly want to know who was surrounding him either. 

His heart sank as he realized his chances of escape were becoming smaller and smaller. There were so many dragons around him now. How did he even end up in this situation? What happened. Skybreak was being chased. Everyone around him wanted to kill him. He winced. The concept felt so foreign to him. They thought that he was Shade touched. It seemed so absurd. Like a silly tale that would be told to a hatchling. But it was a terrible truth that he was currently living through. They wanted to kill him because of that beast, Mel. If that even was her real name. If only he could have explained his side of the story before Alatus attacked him, if only he had never confronted Mel, if only he-

He let out a blood-curdling scream as a burst of lightning violently crashed into his face, Skybreak stumbling onto the ground from the impact. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t- everything went white. He desperately searched for something to anchor himself onto, but there was nothing but the dirt ground. Pain thundered through his skull- it hurt, it hurt. It hurt more than anything else he had ever experienced in his life. His ears were ringing painfully. The impact to the ground had practically knocked all the air out of his lungs- could he even breathe?

He forced his eyes open- he couldn’t see out of one of them. But he could see enough. Red. The first thing he saw after the blinding whiteness was red. Was it blood? His eyes darted up and he nearly let out a scream as he realized the situation he was in again. The world seemed to slow down. There were so many dragons. He had to keep moving, he had to keep running. But there was no way that he could have possibly recovered from the blow in time. Still struggling to breathe, still unable to hear anything, still enduring the pain that screamed through his head. He had to get moving. He couldn’t- He couldn’t-

Section IV

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. This couldn’t be happening. Could it? Conrad couldn’t move. He was frozen in place. The world seemed to slow down as chaos incarnate unfolded below him. He saw Alatus’s mouth moving- was he talking to him? He couldn’t hear a single thing the Guardian was screaming. He could only assume that he was being told to do something. Do anything.

But he didn’t want to do anything. Conrad closed his eyes. If he tried hard enough, maybe he’d be able to convince himself it was just one big and terrible nightmare. A nightmare that he’d wake up from soon, and be able to see Skybreak again in his office. It would be nice. He would feel shaken at first, but then overjoyed when he realizes that it was all just a dream. He’d just be able to move on with his day, and his life. Maybe he’d eventually forget that he had ever even dreamt it up.

He didn’t get the luxury of dreaming now. He opened his eyes again, overwhelming dread crashing through him as his wishes were dashed. Both Alatus and Mel had left the balcony. He didn’t know where they had gone- did Alatus rush Mel away? Why didn’t he drag Conrad along? But that wasn’t the focus of his concerns, really.

He felt like he should be screaming in anger right now. Maybe he should be running inside- look for Alatus. Or maybe he should be helping the exalts below him, casting spells and warning dragons. But he didn’t feel any of that. It was too surreal now. Why couldn’t he get himself to do anything? A small part of him shouted. But he barely moved a muscle. 

He should’ve been feeling a lot of emotions right now. Fear, rage, betrayal even? Anything would’ve been better than the void that filled him. He had never experienced something like this before. He had to do something. Conrad, do something. You’re a Director, do something. You’re supposed to be defending the Spire. You’re not supposed to be sympathizing with a Shade infected dragon. Do something. You can do something. Anything. Just don’t stand there.

But he did just stand there. He just stood there and watched. He watched as Skybreak ran and ran through the courtyard. Conrad cringed as he watched Arcane spells slam into the crowd. Was this really the Skybreak he knew? He would have never hurt his coworkers. Or at least never would have hurt them normally. Of course, this wasn’t a normal situation. Would Conrad have done this if he was in Skybreak’s place? The logical part of his brain screamed at this question. He never would have been caught up in the magic of the Shade. He’s supposed to be defending against it. It was an idiotic question.

Conrad gripped the railing of the platform so hard that he thought his claws would fall off. He began to wonder how everything would end. His breath hitched as he realized something horrific. This wasn’t the Southern Icefields. There would be no capture here, no containment. There would only be blood. There would only be death. When he gained the position of Director of Shade Management, he thought that it was the only logical thing to destroy any traces of the Shade. Why risk the chance of escape? But now Conrad desperately wished that they had been within the Icewarden’s domain. Skybreak might’ve had a chance of surviving.

But then Conrad saw something that made him want to explode. A Lightning spell shot through the air- and right towards Skybreak. He watched in horror as it slammed violently into Skybreak, the impact throwing him across the ground. Conrad screamed. He desperately wanted to run down somehow and help him- Why did he want to help him? But his heart sank even further as he realized what exactly this meant. The exalts chasing his friend had the perfect opportunity now to kill Skybreak. If the spell that hit him wasn’t going to do the job at least.

Conrad’s blood ran cold. This shouldn’t have happened today. This should’ve never happened in the first place. He had seen Skybreak that very morning. The other Ridgeback had been smiling. He looked so content. But now, he was only able to see him from afar, and Skybreak was writhing in pain. He didn’t want to see one of his closest friends be killed in front of him. He let out a cry as the dragons took seconds to reach Skybreak. 

But he froze as he saw something that made his heart soar. A blinding flash of magenta magic surrounded Skybreak. The blast practically caused the exalts running towards him to go flying. Magical smoke flew through the air, covering up any visibility in the courtyard. Conrad could hear dragons shouting. But soon enough, the magic dissipated just as fast as it had appeared. 

But once it did fade… a silence fell over the crowd. Skybreak Asterope had disappeared. All hell broke loose upon the collective realization. Conrad could hear nothing but the cacophony of noise that had erupted. All that remained of Skybreak’s presence was the remains of shade, blood, and arcane wisps. The Ridgeback had teleported away.

Conrad stood on the balcony, quiet as can be. He knew that he should have been terrified. If this had been any other situation, he would’ve been running back into the building and screaming his lungs out. Yelling warnings to others. It was supposed to have made him scared. A Shade-touched dragon on the loose. A dragon who was already confirmed in his mind to be a dangerous and powerful threat.

But…. no. He didn’t feel anything like that. He wasn’t even afraid anymore. No, no.

All Conrad felt was relief.

Epilogue

“Well I definitely can’t say that y’all should feel relieved by how everyone is reacting, but it could be… worse,” Vavin muttered. The large Ice Gaoler skimmed through one of the many newspapers strewn across Conrad’s desk. He sat in his own chair- one obviously made for breeds much smaller than him. But he seemed comfortable enough. Conrad stared at him in his own large chair, a tired expression on his face. He rested his chin upon his folded hands, looking as if he hadn’t slept since the 1st Age.

Vavin glanced over at the Ridgeback, the harsh expression that he typically carried on his face softening. “Erm. You okay?” He quietly questioned. Conrad simply sighed in response. Vavin muttered again, something about dumb journalists. He grumbled as he crumbled up the newspaper he held, attempting to throw it into the small trash can on the other side of the room. He swore when it hit the rim and bounced onto the floor. 

 “At least news hasn’t broken out internationally yet,” Vavin commented.

Conrad slowly sat up straight in his chair, taking a moment to stretch before responding. “Keyword is yet. Even if Kairan and Mydryin and whoever else try to keep it secret- it’s not going to work.” He let out a groan as he thought more about their situation, “I’m not looking forward to when Ice learns about it. We’re going to have the Wardens breathing down our necks.”

Vavin let a puff of air through his nose at the comment. “I feel like you forget I’m an ambassador sometimes. But yeah, you’re not wrong about that, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a whole lot more Gaolers over here in a couple of months. And aren’t our Wardens already doing that?” 

Conrad groaned again.

“..I’m not making the situation better, am I?” Vavin sheepishly asked. 

“No. But you’re not making it worse, you’re just stating a fact. Not a fun fact, but we’re going to have to deal with it eventually. I guess. You guys just don’t know how not to get your claws into everything, huh?” He teased.

The Gaoler in front of him laughed. “Hey, don’t lump me in with all of those dudes. You’re right, but still.” He trailed off awkwardly.

Before Conrad could think up another response, his eyes suddenly locked onto his desk. Vavin stared at him in confusion at the sudden pause in conversation. Conrad’s eyes narrowed as he leaned over in his chair to examine one of the many newspapers laid upon his desk.

He hastily snatched the paper up, shaking it out as his eyes darted around the pages. Vavin raised an eyebrow as he watched the Ridgeback. He rolled his eyes before hopping off of his tiny chair, approaching behind Conrad to catch a glimpse at what had distracted the other dragon so easily.

His heart sank when he caught onto what he had been reading. Conrad grit his teeth. “Is Conrad Silverlyfe fit for the role of Director of Shade Management?” He spat out the title of the article as if he had just had a bite of a rotten fish.

“After the incident involving former Administrator Skybreak Asterope caused rising panic among the public over the threat of the shade, countless rumors and questions have arisen.” A flame of anger sparked inside of Vavin as Conrad continued to read the distasteful.

“....Many of these emerge specifically after multiple witness accounts claim that Silverlyfe was present during the incident, and was seen standing in the same position the entire time up until Skybreak’s escape.” Before Conrad could continue reading, Vavin ripped the newspaper from his hands, staring at it in fury. The Ridgeback let out a noise of surprise, staring at him in bewilderment. 

The Ambassador’s eyes skimmed through the rest of the article, his short mane of fur fluffing up. “What on Sornieth are they implying?!” He barked.

Conrad looked rather disheartened at the sight of the Gaoler being so angry over the rest of the article- what could it have been saying? “I knew something like this would happen…”

When he was finished, Vavin furiously crumpled up the newspaper in his hands and threw it as hard as he could towards the trash can. He let out a slew of swear words that likely would have made the Icewarden cringe when he missed. It would take a couple more moments until Conrad felt that Vavin was calm enough to start speaking again.

“...What else did it say about me? I’m assuming it… wasn’t great,” Conrad inquired, anxiety spiking in his mind.

“Well APPARENTLY they’re saying that you’re incompetent or something, and that you’ve been doing nothing- EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN AND THEY DON’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT ITS NOT LIKE WE CAN REVEAL INFORMATION LIKE THAT-” Vavin snarled, “and APPARENTLY they have the audacity to say that you might have been ‘working with Skybreak’ OR SOMETHING DUMB LIKE THAT!”

“Did it really say that?” Slight horror peaked over Conrad’s face at the thought.

“....Well not EXACTLY, but that’s basically what they were implying! These dumb ‘witness accounts’ keep saying that you were friends with Skybreak prior to this- this incident or whatever!” Vavin violently gestured with his hands as he ranted and raved, frost flying off of him.

Conrad sighed. “There were.. a lot of dragons there, Vavin. They’re not lying when they say I just stood there doing nothing.”

Vavin let out a huff.

“Also, a lot of dragons know that I’m- I was close friends with Skybreak. It’s not… a wild assumption for some to think that I could have been working with him. I’m not- I mean, you know that, but I… understand why they’d think that.” He quietly explained. “Anyways, the Daily Strike is one of the most dramatic newspapers we have this side of the Expanse, they’ll do and say anything that means that they’ll get more readers.”

“Why is the Daily Strike even allowed to print?! It’s always spouting useless conspiracy theories and like, the worst news ever!” Vavin snarled. Conrad would be lying if he said he didn’t feel just as exasperated. “They’ve been running for a century now, Vavin, I don’t think anything could stop them from publishing now.”

“Stupid newspapers…” Vavin seethed. His large fluffy tail whipped around haphazardly, nearly knocking off several items from the bookcase placed behind Conrad’s desk. The Ridgeback couldn’t deny that it was comforting to see Vavin so angry over something like this. 

“You don’t have to feel angry for me, y’know.”

“I’m not feeling these emotions for you- Well they’ve been caused by you? But these are my own feelings! And they’re telling me that this entire situation is really dumb and stupid! Honestly, I don’t get why they’re roping you into this-”

“I was there, Vavin.”

“And? So were dozens of other exalts!”

“I’m literally in charge of Shade Management.”

“Well they must know that this place isn’t exactly funded!”

“...No, they don’t. That’s kinda the whole point.”

Vavin let out a growl of frustration as he began to pace around the room. Magical flurries flew from his fur, luckily disappearing before it hit the office floor. “Well- I don’t understand why they should be roping you into this when Skybreak is the bastard who did this! They should be focused on that pile of yellow snow or something!” He stopped in front of Conrad’s desk as he faced the Ridgeback again.

“Vavin…” Conrad winced at the mention of Skybreak.

“He just- he just betrayed you! You trusted him and he did that! Who knows what else he was planning. Maybe if he was successful and killed Mel, he would have gone after you next!”

Conrad wilted. “I… I know that.”

“I can’t believe that he’d just- AGH! You deserve so much better than… this.” His expression softened. “You shouldn’t have been dragged into all of this. It’s dumb.”

“Why?” 

Vavin paused at the question. “What? Conrad, are you dumb? You’re my… let’s just say… friend.” Conrad almost snorted. “Shut up- and the thought of that piece of shade hurting you in any way- it makes me feel like i’m going crazy!” He froze once he realized what he had just declared, staring at the other dragon in embarrassment. He let out a deep sigh as he tried to calm himself down again.

“I care about you a lot. I mean, if I didn’t, that’d make this relationship sorta awkward. But whatever, I stand by my point. You deserve better than this Conrad. Not even focusing on Skybreak. Just this whole big dumb situation.” He closed his eyes, taking a moment to just focus on breathing. He didn’t particularly want to burst into anger again.

“...Thanks,” Conrad awkwardly said.

Vavin rolled his eyes. “That isn’t a thing you generally thank people for Conrad, but you’re welcome anyways. I’m just being honest, okay?” He moved around the desk again, approaching the back of the Ridgeback’s chair. He set his hands on Conrad’s shoulders as he leaned over him. Conrad awkwardly stared up at him, a smile growing on his face.

“I think this is the most affectionate you’ve been in awhile.”

“Oh shut up.”

“I’m just saying,” Conrad gently teased. But before Vavin could come up with another retort, a knock at the door interrupted both of them. The Ice dragon hastily pulled away from Conrad, turning his head towards the noise. He nervously glanced over at him, letting out a swear. 

The Ridgeback let out a quiet groan. He didn’t particularly want their alone time to be interrupted.

“It’s open!” He called out.

The door slowly creaked open to reveal an Arcane Pearlcatcher. She peeked her head inside, her eyes widening once she noticed Vavin. She readjusted her glasses as if she was hoping that the Gaoler was just a smudge. She pursed her lips, appearing almost disappointed that Conrad had not been alone.

“Oh- Mel, it’s nice to see you!” Conrad anxiously exclaimed. Vavin grit his teeth. Swiftly, a smile appeared on Mel’s face as she waved to the two drakes. “Hello Conrad! It is a pleasure to see you, and er…” She turned her attention to the Gaoler, her snout wrinkling.

“...Good to see you as well, Vavin. What are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you…” He growled quietly. 

“What?”

Conrad cut in before Vavin could reply again. “He was just here to collect some paperwork is all, and we got distracted with some conversation.” Vavin swiftly nodded to confirm Conrad’s statement.

“I was just about to leave anyways,” He murmured. Conrad stared at Vavin in confusion before nodding as well. Mel seemed satisfied with the explanation. The Gaoler swiftly collected the newspapers strewn across the Ridgeback’s desk, shooting Conrad a look of annoyance. He could only shrug. Vavin promptly whisked himself past Mel and out of Conrad’s office, an unreadable expression on his face.

Mel looked back towards where the Ice Ambassador had gone in confusion. But she shortly turned her attention back to Conrad. “I can’t say I was expecting him to be in your office. What sort of stuff was he collecting?” She mused aloud.

“Erm…”

“Oh, you don’t have to answer! I get it, classified information and stuff like that. I must snoop in what you two were talking about though, I never took Vavin as the one to take to small talk.” 

Conrad took a moment to think. “We weren’t… talking about anything in particular. I suppose he was just in a good mood today, hah.” He set his hand on the back of his neck, swearing internally. He hoped that he was at all convincing. He was never that great at lying.

Mel didn’t seem phased though. “Huh. How fascinating, he always acts like he just got into a fight with a Yeti- or should I just say that he acts like a Yeti?” She chuckled to herself.

It took everything inside of Conrad not to defend Vavin. “So, why are you here anyways?” He questioned.

Mel didn’t seem prepared to answer a question. “Oh! I was just.. Coming here to check on you, I don’t think we’ve spoken since the incident! How are you?” Her surprise was masked by the cheerful tone in her voice. She casually waltzed over to Conrad’s desk, leaning over and placing her hands onto it.

“Er- I’ve been doing okay. As well as I could be honestly… but uh, honestly I should really be asking you how you’re doing! I’ve been so caught up in my work recently and I was hoping to try and talk to you, but then plans fell through and I-”

“I’m fine darling! You didn’t have to worry about me!”

“I just… thought you would have been affected by… y’know.”

She froze up. “Oh. Oh right. Well um, I’ve been handling it quite well. I’ve been talking to some dragons and… I’m still figuring things out, hah. But let’s not focus on that, I didn’t come here to feel like a scentless Tundra!” 

Confusion washed over Conrad. How was Mel so nonchalant about this? Was he overreacting? He must have been overreacting. Even the dragon that had almost been killed that day didn’t seem as bothered as he was. Was he thinking too hard about it? He suddenly felt guilty. Well, more guilty than he already was.

Mel stared down at the mess of papers and office supplies strewn across his desk, letting out a tsk tsk tsk. “It seems like you haven’t been faring too well..” She seemed almost bored as she spoke.

Conrad suddenly became aware of the complete mess that his office was. He was never the most organized dragon, but after everything? It looked as if a pack of Wind Spirals had organized a race in there. “I- I mean..”

“Oh, I wasn’t meaning to be rude! I fully understand, you must be under a lot of pressure right now, right?” She seemed genuine enough, but her eyes continued to shift around the room. Conrad reasoned that her eye for organization must have been screaming. She was an Administrator of Oversight after all. He was hesitant to respond.

Mel continued to speak, “I mean, the entirety of Security and Justice look like they’re running around like headless gryphons! The Guard don’t seem to be having a great time either, some of those folks look like they haven’t slept in ages!” When Conrad still didn’t reply, Mel rolled her eyes. Wait, did she just roll her eyes at him? He couldn’t tell if he had just imagined it or not.

Conrad felt like he had to speak now. “We have no witness reports whatsoever. It’s just a guessing game at this point. He could be anywhere within the Lightning Farm and we wouldn’t know.”

“Hrm… that’s pretty bad, huh. I mean, he’s a threat to national security! I haven’t been here too long, but the Shifting Expanse has had multiple incidents like this happen within the last half a century, correct?”

The Ridgeback nodded awkwardly.

“Well, that’s not a good look for us. I would know, my folks in the Starfall Isles didn’t exactly think too highly of Lightning.”

Conrad wilted as she said exactly what had been plaguing his mind. Or at least, it was one of the many, many thoughts that attacked him daily. But he had been successfully avoiding it for the longest time, why did Mel have to mention it now..?

“I don’t think we’re going about this in a smart way regardless. Although obviously, I’m not in Security or Justice. I think I’d go mad if I was in Justice actually-” She snorted, “But they’re just basing their searches off of assumptions. I doubt they have any trails to follow. I’ve heard they’re even thinking of going through the Beastclan sectors, isn’t that crazy?”

“What are you trying to say?” 

“Well… what if I told you… that I had some info about where Skybreak could be,” She cooly said, her tail swishing back and forth.

“What? Are you serious?” Disbelief filled his voice as he almost jumped out of his seat.

She chuckled. “Why would I be joking? This is a serious topic, Conrad.”

“How did you- That’s so important- you-”

“Well, let’s just say a little storm seeker told me that Skybreak might not be in the east anymore.”

“Not in the east- why would Skybreak-”

“Skybreak isn’t dumb. You and I both know that. He.. he was brilliant actually,” She let out a sigh as she recalled a specific memory of the Ridgeback. “He would know better than to stick about in some of the most densely populated areas in the Expanse.”

“It hasn’t even been that long since the incident, where could he have possibly gone?” He interrogated.

“Plenty of dragons catch rides on the cargo trains y’know. It’d take less than a week to get to the Highland Scrub if he planned it out. For the Arcanist’s sake, he might even be in the Scorpion’s Den at this point!....” She let out a deep sigh. “But for the Stormcatcher’s sake… I might know the specifics.”

“I- Why are you telling me this?!” He blurted out. “I’m just a Director- You should be telling this to Alatus, or Mydryin, or even just the Captain of the Guard!”

She exhaled. “You see… I don’t think they would listen to me. I wouldn’t blame them. I’m just an Administrator- I’m not even in either of their departments! I’m just a random Oversight Exalt to them. I don’t know what sane dragon would listen to me. I don’t have proof either.”

“I- what? No proof? What do you mean?”

“I have a reliable source but… I can’t tell you who. I can’t tell anyone. I just know the information.” She crossed her arms across her chest in embarrassment. 

“Why not?” 

“I don’t…” She trailed off, grimacing.

Conrad attempted to wrap his head around the implications of what Mel had said. Had she been silenced? Wait. Who on Sornieth had given her the information in the first place?... Was Skybreak working with someone still inside the Spire?

“I’m sorry for asking, can you just- please, just tell me what you know!” He blurted, eyes wide and almost wild.

“Well, I-” Mel’s eyes flicked to something behind Conrad’s head. Something in her expression appeared to harden. “I’m afraid I have a meeting to attend.” 

Conrad stared at her in disbelief. “What?” He whipped his head around to see what she had been looking at- it was a clock. His heart dropped as he processed what she had meant.

Mel glanced around the room before slowly beginning to make her way towards the door. “I have a meeting with Aster in a couple of minutes- you know how he gets- I can’t be la-”

Conrad lurched forward, desperate to block her way. “Wait! You can’t just-”

“I need to go, I’m sorry,” Mel pushed past him.

“This is too important!” Conrad attempted to follow her. “Your meeting can wait, this is the security of our nation at state!”

Mel shot a curt smile over her shoulder. “Apologies, Conrad. But this is Aster we’re talking about. Find me later.”

With that, she swept away, and Conrad was left standing with his hand half outstretched.

He couldn’t believe what had just happened. Mel had just left. Did she not understand the severity of their situation? He swore as he began to process it all. By the shade, why would she drop a bombshell like that and just… leave? Conrad sat back down in his chair, the silence that had fallen over the room almost felt suffocating.

What was he going to do now? He sat there, silently deliberating his options. He didn’t know how much time had passed with him simply ensnared in his own frantic thoughts. There wasn’t much room for reasoning now. Not after what Mel had said.

Suddenly, an idea shot through his mind. It was sharp and clear, a new presence among the muddled and messy thoughts that otherwise swirled through his head. His head jerked up as he realized what he had to do.

He swiftly jumped from his chair, determination flaring in his eyes as he looked around the room. He ran around his mess of an office, eyes darting around as he searched for…. something. 

He had to find it. His eyes lit up as he found exactly what he was looking for nestled in an unlabelled cabinet. He pulled it out, staring at it as he thought. It was two envelopes. He looked back at his desk, swiftly pulling out a pen and two papers. He took a moment to plan out what exactly he was going to write, but it clicked within seconds.

He wrote hastily, his normally incredibly neat and tidy handwriting turning into chicken scratch. It was good enough. The dragons he was addressing this to would understand it, he was sure. He started the 2nd letter as soon as the 1st one had been finished. He hadn’t felt this energized in years.

Soon enough, both letters were done. He promptly shoved them into the envelopes, taking a second to think of somewhere to place them before sliding them under the pile of paperwork on the side of his desk. Somewhere nobody else would see them. But somewhere he could remember.

Conrad sat down again. The assurance he felt moments earlier slowly faded away as he was left with the overwhelming silence that was just him, and the room. But this time, his head was clear. There was now only a single thought that reigned in his mind, one that he knew was going to change things. If he couldn’t get himself to do anything during the incident, he sure as hell was going to do it now.

He was going to find Skybreak himself. 

[rengokusflamingbussy]

Ringu

This was a fun watch, especially after some of the more abstract films we have seen recently. This was my second time watching Ringu and I have to say it was a lot less scary this time around. 

As much as this film is regarded as a horror film I feel that this definition does not do the film justice, in my opinion, the film is more of a supernatural mystery with some horror elements. 

The film is primarily focus on Asakawa’s journalist work (though this is more akin to detective work in the film) with Takayama’s supernatural/psychic abilities filling in the gaps that the real world cannot. The divorced couple (who are both insanely good looking btw) complement each other both in their work and their interactions; though in every scene there is an underlying sense of regret and maybe even sadness. We are not given a reason for their divorce and the film/ plot forces the two to work together, suggesting that they should try to rekindle their relationship. In a way this makes Takayama’s death more tragic as it is unexpected and destroys any chance of their relationship being mended. 

The film’s focus on the supernatural, specifically on people with unnatural abilities distinguishes itself from the American remake which is far more focused on the journalism/investigative aspect of Sadako and her appearance.

The film has an interesting approach to how it gives information to its audiences, some of it is given directly to us such as how the tape works whereas other information is withheld from us. For instance, we only learn about the way to escape the curse after Asakawa has already figured it out. This is why I view the film more as a mystery than a horror. The two big ambiguities of the film are, who is Sadako’s father and what is Asakawa going to do at her dad’s house. I believe that Asakawa was going to her dad’s house with the intention of getting him to watch the tape so that the curse would be lifted from her son. As for Sadako’s father, the film puts forward the idea that the scientist is her father, making her murder more tragic and giving her a reason for her anger. However, another option I saw (I have no idea where I saw this lol) is that Sadako’s father is some sort of eldritch monster from the sea that got freaky with her mom. This explains why her mother would sit at the sea everyday and why she spoke in a non-human language and why Sadako had the ability to kill people. I have no proof of this I just thought it was interesting. 

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

The Last Weekend (S2, E13)

It’s been a trip fam. Hopefully, it continues for a third season. Thanks for sticking with me this far. 

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:19 - That taxidermy is creepy af. 

0:25 - Ok. But like, this is amazing. Look at Malcolm. He’s confused,  annoyed, and a little pissed off but he doesn’t actually look scared. He just woke up in a strange place tied to a chair and the last thing he remembers is telling his father to run. He knows his serial killer father kidnapped him but he’s not scared because there’s a part of Malcolm that is so so desperate for Martin to love him. Malcolm is NOT okay. His reaction to being kidnapped by his serial killer father is evidence of that. This dude is not in a good mental place. I'm here for it. This is bad. 

0:40 - Groggy, annoyed, and sassy Malcolm is adorable.

0:51 - This is a woman who thinks not telling the NYPD about that Capshaw phone call killed her son. She doesn’t know where Malcolm is right now or if he’s alive. BUT Jessica knows Martin has Malcolm and therefore - Malcolm is not safe. The guilt and fear is oozing from Jessica and I want to hug her. :( <3

1:13 - Again. Malcolm is in danger. Why doesn’t Ainsley seem to be worried? At all?!? This girl’s lack of empathy is genuinely concerning. If my brother was abducted by our abusive father I would be a wreck. 

1:25 - “Don’t get cocky.” HA. What a great line. Although, it’s really sad to see how desperate Ainsley is for some attention from her mother. Although, I do love the contrast between this line and the line from 1x3: "You watch my reports?" "Not with the sound on". Jessica really is growing as a parent. I love that for her. 

1:31 - “Capshaw is claiming Malcolm was Dad’s accomplice.” WHY ISN'T AINSLEY UPSET ABOUT THIS. SHE’S ACTING LIKE IT’S JUST SOME JUICY GOSSIP. BE ANGRY GIRL. BE SCARED. BE UPSET. THIS IS YOUR BROTHER. At least Jessica is pissed and scared about it. 

1:46 - “Cruel eyes.” Has Capshaw ever looked at Malcolm? That boy has the sweetest eyes ever. They’re a gorgeous shade of blue, wide, and expressive. Never cruel. Often fearful. ALSO the fact that Capshaw looks at the window (where she knows Malcolm’s friends are standing) when she says this INFURIATES ME. I want this woman dead. She is the spawn of Satan and you can't change my mind. 

1:50 - The way Dani looks at Gil when he says, “You buying this?” is wonderful. This girl is scandalized at the idea that Gil might be buying Capshaw’s story. This girl is team Malcolm and I love her for it. She's so offended at the idea that Gil - the man who's known Malcolm since he was 10 years old - might think Malcolm is a bad guy. <3 <3 

1:52 - “Our boy’s crazy, but not that crazy.” <3 <3 <3 Every time JT calls Malcolm “our boy” or “our guy” my heart explodes. I love the evolution of their relationship so so so much. <3 Also JT is giving off major big brother vibes to Dani and Malcolm this episode and I LOVE IT. <3

1:54 - “Good. We all know she’s lying. Problem is we’re the only ones.” This whole scene. *CHEF’S KISS* Seriously, protective!Dani, protective!JT, and protective!Gil in the same scene?!? All going to bat for Malcolm? I’m in love. This is the found family content I’m here for. ALSO look at GIL. This man is so so pissed that someone is trying to paint his surrogate son as the bad guy. Gil is a good man but someone is threatening his family and that means he’s going to break his own rules. <3 I’m here for it. This is the kind of inner turmoil I subscribed to this show for. 

2:02 - "Good morning sleepyhead." I have thoughts. 1) If Martin truly cared about Malcolm why didn't he restrain Malcolm on one of those twin beds (where he could actually sleep) instead of tying him to a chair?!?! 2) Look at how hard Martin is trying to act like Malcolm's friend (not even a good friend). He's not acting like Malcolm's dad. A dad or a good friend wouldn't leave a guy who just suffered from an embolism alone and tied to a chair. They'd take him to a hospital, obviously that was out of the question here. So for the sake of this comparison, a good friend/dad would have put Malcolm on the bed, gotten some warm blankets for him, made sure water was close by, and stayed with him until he woke up - to you know, MAKE SURE HE'S STILL BREATHING?!?! BUT not Martin, this dude just waltzes into the room and delivers a mildly condescending yet cheery rendition of "good morning sleepyhead" almost as though Malcolm's unconscious state was a burden to Martin. Even though Malcolm was unconscious because MARTIN DRUGGED HIM (also not good!Dad behaviour). 

2:04 - "You drugged me?!?" This breaks my heart. After everything, Malcolm is still surprised (and rightfully annoyed) that his father drugged him. Malcolm knows that Martin is a bad man. He knows Martin has drugged him before. He knows he shouldn't trust Martin but after everything there's still a part of Malcolm desperate to believe that Martin loves him. PLUS one of the last memories Malcolm has before he woke up in this motel is of Martin saving his life. Malcolm was giving in to the "maybe Dad really does love me" mentality. It's heartbreaking and I want to give Malcolm a hug. 

2:23 - I find this whole exchange so upsetting yet interesting. Both Malcolm and Martin are being openly hostile to each other. Usually, Malcolm is civil to Martin but right now, Martin is NOT chained to a wall and Malcolm is acting like an argumentative and whiny teenager (and rightfully so but still not a safe move). Martin is matching Malcolm’s mood. Martin is engaging in Malcolm’s frustration with an off-putting amount of cheer. I honestly believe Martin is just ecstatic that he’s been given an opportunity to ‘be a father’ again. There’s also a part of me that is completely convinced that Martin was already hatching his plan to have Malcolm kill him. Why would he do that? My answer: 1) Martin doesn’t want to go back to prison, 2) To finally get revenge on Malcolm for turning him in in 1998, 3) he’s a predatory psychopath and he saw an opportunity to screw with someone, 4) Martin is pissed off that Malcolm keeps trying to distance himself from Martin. Martin see’s it as betrayal and he wants to make Malcolm suffer. 

2:25 - THIS. IS. AMAZING. The way Malcolm immediately panics and tries to escape Martin when the switchblade comes out is incredible. You can see Malcolm’s perspective shift. We actually see it flip back and forth all episode. Half the time, Malcolm is a little boy desperately trying to convince himself that Martin has changed and that Martin loves him. The other half of the time, Malcolm is a logical and educated adult who knows Martin is a dangerous killer who is trying to manipulate him. It’s such a compelling dichotomy.

 2:44 - “We are the victims here Malcolm.” I absolutely believe that Martin believes this statement. HOWEVER, I also think he’s using the situation to his advantage in an attempt to sway Malcolm’s trust in him. 

2:52 - “You’re in a pickle.” This infuriates me. Martin does NOT love or care about Malcolm. What Martin does love - is what Malcolm does for him. ie. Providing him a connection to the real world (visiting him in prison), giving him an outlet for his attention-seeking needs, giving him a plaything to manipulate. Martin views Malcolm as a pet NOT a person and NOT a son. That kills me. 

2:55 - “I need to call Gil.” <3 <3 This is absolutely beautiful and terrifyingly stupid. Beautiful because Malcolm is in trouble and his knee-jerk reaction is “Gil can help. I trust Gil. Gil loves me. He’ll listen. He’ll help.” <3 <3 So precious. It’s scary though because it’s no secret that Martin views Gil as a threat to his family. This will make Martin more determined to manipulate Malcolm. Because again, Martin views everything as possessions. He doesn’t actually love Malcolm, Ainsley, and Jessica. He loves the idea of them and what he can do with them. He doesn’t actually care about them though. He only cares about their wellbeing to the extent of how it will affect him. (SIDE NOTE: I’m honestly crushed that we didn’t get a proper Gil+Martin face off during this finale.)

2:58 - “Gil’s great and all.” This man speaketh from his ass. He hates Gil. This is some damn fine manipulation. He’s interaction with Malcolm in a way he knows Malcolm will have a positive reaction. I respect it. It also makes my blood boil (out of love for Malcolm).

3:05 - “Who would you believe?” This hurts. Look at how absolutely crushed Malcolm looks. Malcolm knows no one will believe him. Why would they? He’s the son of a serial killer with well documented mental health issues and well documented issues with rule-following. It’s common knowledge that he’s an intense and weird dude. And it’s all Martin’s fault. 

3:07 - “Can we talk?” I’m impressed. First, Martin complements the man he knows Malcolm respects more than anything. Then, he appeals to Malcolm’s insecurities and fears of being ‘The Surgeon’s son’. He does it all calmly, in a comforting tone of voice. This is manipulation at its finest. 

3:17 - “You look ridiculous.” This is Malcolm fully aware that Martin just tried to manipulate him. It still hurt Malcolm because those fears about no one believing him are completely rational and a very logical outcome of the scenario but at least Malcolm is aware of Martin’s game.

3:30 - “I’m Clare.” .....Clare = Claremont. Did Martin do that subconsciously or is he aware?  I can totally see him accidentally picking that name because after 20 years he’s begun to define himself as a part of the Claremont institution. He’s almost trying to maintain that link to the life he’s become accustom to. 

3:35 - “Too insane.” Holy shit. Malcolm sassing Martin is 1) hilarious but 2) super scary because I just keep waiting for Martin to snap and hurt Malcolm for his “disrespectful and ungrateful behaviour”. Malcolm really has no fear in this scene and I’m scared for what that means for his mental state. It’s not good. That much I know. 

3:45 - “I’m not your friend.” This broke my heart. Malcolm is so upset as he delivers this little outburst. He can see that Martin is trying to act like his friend instead of a loving father. It’s killing the little boy inside of Malcolm. It’s also frustrating for Malcolm because he wants so badly to do the right thing (turn Martin in) but he also just wants his dad to act like a real dad. 

3:55 - The fear in Malcolm’s eyes when Martin brings the knife back out. <3 Gorgeous. 

4:00 - The trepidation in Malcolm’s face as Martin cuts him loose. <3  ALSO, “I didn’t kill you. That’s gotta count for something.” why the hell should that count for something now? Martin tried to kill a 10 year old Malcolm. That should be the end. Any FATHER who tries to kill his 10 year old son (no matter what the kid may have done) is a garbage human and that child should never be told he has to forgive, trust, or have a relationship with his father. On some level Malcolm knows this BUT he’s also desperately trying to convince himself that Martin is a changed man. 

4:12 - WTF Ainsley? This scene genuinely makes me believe Ainsley has been somehow involved in this whole prison break scheme. Or at least, she’s been in contact with Martin since the escape. 

4:43 - “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Okay. Fine. Ainsley is finally showing a bit of fear here. But is it because of the Woodsman? Something tells me Martin has gotten into Ainsley’s head and Ainsely genuinely believes that Malcolm is safe with Martin. The Woodsman changes things though. Maybe the Woodsman was a variable Ainsley wasn’t expecting or didn’t plan with Martin. 

5:00 - “Why are we in Vermont?” First of all - there’s something precious about the way this line was delivered. Secondly, why is Malcolm eating? Doesn’t most food make him sick (1x1)? This is a high stress situation - presumably he’d be too nauseous/stressed to eat right now. 

5:15 - “That dream’s as dead as your 23 victims.” hahahaha ZING. This line actually hurts though. It’s not just Martin’s dream that’s dead. Malcolm’s is too. Presumably Malcolm has a fantasy somewhere in the back of his mind where he’s happily married with children. Hell, maybe his children visit their grandparents every weekend for Sunday brunch? But Malcolm probably doesn’t actually think he can have kids or a spouse because he’s terrified of what kind of a father and husband he’d be. That’s Martin’s fault. Martin has doomed Malcolm to avoid the deep, meaningful relationships in life that Malcolm clearly craves. 

5:25 - “I’m absolutely right” The anger in Malcolm’s voice is incredible and concerning. On one hand, it’s great that he’s being honest with Martin. He’s making Martin work for his trust and he’s communicating that Martin ruined certain aspects of Malcolm’s life. On the other hand, this boy has no sense of self-preservation. He’s provoking a predatory psychopath. He’s almost begging Martin to hurt him. I’m terrified at what that means for Malcolm’s mental health. 

5:35 - “Don’t you ever think it’s possible that I changed?” Look at Martin’s big stupid face. He doesn’t believe that he’s changed. He’s just trying to manipulate Malcolm. Martin doesn’t view Malcolm as a son. Just as a plaything. 

5:55 - “You want to find a missing woman. That’s your brilliant plan?” It’s an excellent plan. It’s a plan Martin knows Malcolm won’t be able to deny. Martin has observed Malcolm’s obsession with understanding serial killers for 23 years. Martin has watched Malcolm torture himself to save the victims of serial killers. Martin knows this is the one plan that will (at least temporarily) stop Malcolm from turning him in. Malcolm’s need to help other people is stronger than his need to help himself. So again, Martin is a shitty father. 

6:19 - “I worked the Woodsman case at the bureau for years.” Of course he did. $100 bucks says Martin knew that and he planned this out before his escape. Capshaw was an inconvenient hiccup in the plan but he was always going to kidnap Malcolm and try to manipulate Malcolm into becoming his partner in crime. 

6:42 - “Someone who’s not going to call Gil Arroyo the first chance he gets.” Damn. Martin feels threatened by Gil’s relationship with Malcolm. Which is why an escaped!Martin and Gil showdown would’ve made my year. 

6:46 - How convenient that Jeannie is from New York. 

6:52 - “But we could save her. Together.” Ugh. This breaks my heart. You can see that Malcolm knows Martin is manipulating him. You can also see that this is an offer Malcolm can’t deny. Saving people and finding/understanding killers is what keeps Malcolm sane. PLUS he desperately wants to spend time with the ‘nice’ version of his dad. The one he remembers from 1998. Malcolm is eating out of the palm of Martin’s hand and it’s so so so upsetting. 

7:01 - Why does Gary look so much like Deputy Crutchfield? It’s the moustache. 

7:10 - “This is my partner. Cameron.” UGh. I’m going to throw up. 1) Malcolm’s startled expression melts my heart. This boy does not want to be Martin’s partner in any sense of the word.  2) Was Martin implying that Cameron is Clare’s sexual partner? The hand around Malcolm’s shoulders made it feel that way to me. 

7:15 - Ugh. :( The way Malcolm looks at the hand on his shoulder. :( You can see how conflicted he feels. He likes the gentle, fatherly physical affection from Martin but he knows that Martin is a killer and this is an act. You can see that Malcolm knows this is all a hoax but you can also see how desperately Malcolm wants to believe in it. 

7:45 - OMG. This is a man who hasn’t been in public for a very long time. This is not socially acceptable behaviour and Malcolm looks so embarrassed and scared (that someone will recognize the serial killer making loud noises of pleasure over his pancakes). 

7:55 - I love that Malcolm isn’t eating. It aligns with Malcolm’s canonical eating problems. Kudos for the rare plot consistency.

8:13 - “I suppose I’m a little bisexual.” Ugh. Shut up Martin. You absolute moron. You’re not bisexual. You’re just a manipulative nutcase. It does make me wonder though, is this Martin’s way of trying to bond with Malcolm? Like maybe (whether it’s true or not) Martin thinks Malcolm might not be straight and he’s trying to have a father-son coming out of the closet moment? .....it sounds like a reach even in my head but here I am with this theory.

8:39 - The fact that Martin is such a verbal feminist throughout this show is so off putting to me. He’s a serial killer. He has no issues MURDERING people for FUN. Yet somehow it feels like I’m supposed to respect him more than the average man because he believes women are people with rights? Nah. It makes me hate him more because I don’t thinks he’s an actual feminist. I think he’s acting. He’s trying to appeal to what will make him seem more likeable. I think it’s a tactic he uses to soften Malcolm to his manipulation. 

8:48 - “I worked this case for years. Almost lost my mind over it.”........okay so I want more details on this. Did the FBI take him off the case? Did he stop working the case because he was fired? Did Gil watch Malcolm become consumed by the case and beg him to take himself off the case? 

8:52 - “I called every number at the FBI. You wanted nothing to do with me.” I hate Martin. He’s trying to blame Malcolm. He’s suggesting that more women could have been saved from the Woodsman if Malcolm hadn’t been ignoring Martin while he worked for the FBI. Martin is actually implying that the Woodsman could have been caught years ago if Malcolm wasn’t such a bad son. 

8:57 - “...such anger issues. Still do.” I’m going to punch him. I hate Martin. He’s mentally torturing our mental-fragile baby and he’s having fun doing it. Malcolm looks absolutely wrecked and my heart is shattering. Someone needs to give Malcolm a hug. Yesterday. 

8:59 - This moment has been giffed but damn is it worth pointing out again. The way Malcolm is self-soothing with his left hand while his right hand shakes is gorgeous. It really shows the depth of Malcolm’s inner conflict. I’m in love with this moment. Give Tom Payne an Emmy. Please.

9:13 - “There’s no time, my boy.” Every word that comes out of Martin’s mouth is calculated and manipulative. He has Malcolm exactly where he wants him and I hate it. 

10:05 - I’m 90% sure Martin already knows who the Woodsman is. He’s just playing dumb so he can screw with Malcolm’s head for longer.

10:17 - YES MALCOLM. Stand up to Martin. I love it. It also makes me worry about Malcolm’s mental health but I think we can all agree that Malcolm’s been on a downward spiral for months. At this point, our boy is not going to start improving his mental state until he hits rock bottom. 

10:19 - Martin actually looks shocked when Malcolm demands he earn his trust. Like it never occurred to him that Malcolm might be willing to rebuild the trust to begin with. 

10:30 - This whole scene between Gil and Ruiz is genuinely one of my top scenes of this episode (maybe even of the season). “The media will crucify him” “You might as well issue a shoot on sight order” “This isn’t a joke” “He has his demons but he’s not his father.” “I’ll stake my career on it.” This is one of the purest Papa!Gil scenes of the season and Malcolm isn’t even present. I love how Gil is literally willing to put his entire career on the line for Malcolm. I love how Gil is fighting for Malcolm in a public setting. Look at how the whole precinct watches the exchange. Gil is putting himself on the line in front of an entire precinct of people who respect him out of love for Malcolm. <3 <3 <3 

10:47 - “If he’s still alive.” If. Gil is terrified. Gil is losing hope. This isn’t like Watkins. Gil knows how desperately Malcolm wants Martin’s love and Gil knows that compromises Malcolm’s ability to profile his way out of a dangerous situation. Gil knows that Martin will kill Malcolm. Maybe not today, this week, or this year but it’s part of Martin’s plan. Gil knows that even if Martin doesn’t kill Malcolm - he’s capable of taking Malcolm away forever. Maybe by going on the run but maybe just because he tormented Malcolm to the point where Malcolm regresses to the scared 10-year old that Gil worked so hard to help. Gil knows Malcolm won’t survive that kind of trauma again. At least not mentally. Gil is terrified and I’m in awe. 

11:05 - “C’mon kid. Where the hell are you?” Hear that? It’s my heart shattering into a million pieces because this is the type of father Malcolm deserves. The fatherly concern Gil has for Malcolm is everything to me. 

11:20 - “Damn his daughter’s smoking.” hahahaha the irony. 

11:24 - Why am I so shocked and delighted that Malcolm has an NYPD ID? <3 It makes perfect sense that he’d have one but now I have these headcanons of Gil taking Malcolm around to the accounting office, and the administration offices to get him set up at the NYPD and my heart can’t handle how cute it is. 

12:12 - “You brought egg salad.” Ugh. These guys are so artificially in love and it grosses me out. 

12:54 - See what I mean? Crutchfield looks like Gary from the motel. I can’t unsee it. 

13:12 - Look another moment where Gil is CLEARLY thinking “this family I swear” hahahaha this man is so done with life today 

13:44 - “I know that look Jess.” <3 Aww....they’re practically married. <3 Jokes aside, this is amazing. Jessica respects Gil and she stops her plans when she notices the look on Gil’s face. She knows he’s not trying to control her - he’s trying to protect her and her children. He loves them and he’s trying to lighten her load. 

15:00 - “It’s your Lieutenant.” there’s a split second when you can see the hope, confusion, and fear clouding Malcolm’s face. For just a moment he thinks Gil is on the phone. Then the deputy says “Clare” and Malcolm’s expression transforms into one of annoyance and disgust. 

15:20 - “I didn’t have a credit card.” BAHAHAHAHAHA can we all just agree that talking about porn with your adult children is gross?

15:27 - This. Is. The. Worst. Thing. That. Could. Happen. The headline says “Son of Martin Whitly” and then later we find out Malcolm BRIGHT is on a wanted poster. Malcolm’s privacy from the press has been compromised. His life has been compromised. Nothing will ever be the same. This is bad for Malcolm’s already fragile mental health. His flimsy sense of safety has been forcibly removed and the public is going to crucify him again. Just for being Martin Whitly’s son. People are going to Google him. They’re going to find out he went to Harvard, that he was fired from the FBI, that he has mental health problems (although, Ainsley already exposed that). 

15:52 - Damn. It should be illegal for someone’s wanted picture to be that attractive (and I say that as an asexual).

16:00 - “You need a minute?” I love LOVE this interaction between JT and Dani. You can see that JT is a little unsure of how to talk to Dani because he loves her like a little sister and he knows she loves Bright. It’s adorable. <3 Big brother JT is my favourite JT. 

16:17 - “I like the guy.” UGH. I’m going to go sob in the corner. <3 <3 This line is AMAZING for two (2) reasons. 1) JT is admitting that he likes Malcolm. The bromance is real and I’m here for it. 2) This is JT subtly telling Dani that he knows she likes Bright as more than a friend and it’s not a bad thing. Malcolm isn’t a bad person and he can understand why she’s attracted to the annoying little dude. <3 

16:35 - Why is Ainsley working with Dani and JT? Does she actually want to find them? I still think she’s somehow involved in this. 

16:48 - “Did you steal this truck?!?” Good boy Malcolm. Don’t trust him. 

17:05 - Martin’s biggest mistake: he underestimated how devoted Malcolm is to his ‘mission’. He wasn’t able to manipulate and subdue Malcolm as quickly as he would’ve liked and now his plan is unravelling because Malcolm is snapping out of his ‘Martin might be good’ trance. 

17:19 - “I’m calling Gil. I should’ve known.” <3 I have no words. Just joy.

17:45 - “I do not want my son getting killed because of it.” LIES. Martin tried to kill Malcolm because of it when Malcolm was 10 years old. Martin didn’t care when Malcolm was bullied, shunned, and literally locked in a closet because of Martin. Martin didn’t care that the weight of his crimes destroyed his son’s childhood and continued mental health. Martin. Doesn’t. Care. The problem? Malcolm so so desperately wants to believe that Martin cares about him. You can convince yourself of almost anything if you want to badly enough. 

18:13 - Annnnnd Martin’s plan is back on. He’s lied his way back into Malcolm’s tentative good graces and the manipulation is still in full force. 

18:18 - The parallel that Martin is going on a stakeout with Malcolm right now and the fact that Gil used to take Malcolm on stakeouts as a kid is overwhelming. Do you think Martin knew about those stakeouts? Is this Martin’s way of trying to prove to Malcolm that he’s a better father than Gil?

18:33 - I DO NOT LIKE THIS. I DO NOT LIKE THIS. I DO NOT LIKE THIS. Capshaw is crazy and I don’t like her alone with my queen Jessica. #stressed

18:37 - “Believe me, I understand.” Ugh. Someone (preferably Gil) hug Jessica. This woman has been repressing her emotions for too long. :( 

18:56 - Ooooooooohhhhhh Capshaw just made the biggest mistake of her life. This woman is actively trying to convince the world that Malcolm is just like Martin Whitly and then she said as much to his mother’s FACE. I’m here for the lady fight. Say what you want, but vicious girl fights are so much more entertaining than dudes who just hit each other. 

19:29 - Bitch. Jessica regularly mixes pills with alcohol. Research your victim, moron. This isn’t going to work. 

19:56 - “You. Always you.” .....isn’t that what Malcolm said to Eve? Ew. ALSO the way Martin dismisses Malcolm’s admittance is very upsetting. If he wanted to prove that he’s a good father he should really pretend to care. At least a little. 

20:25 - As far as Martin is concerned, this is a victory. His son trusts him enough to let him out of the car - unsupervised. Martin’s plan is working (as far as Martin knows anyways. Malcolm is still definitely conflicted).

20:43 - I love that Malcolm keeps calling for “Martin”. Not “Dad”. Not “Dr. Whitly” (that would be bad on account of the manhunt). Just “Martin”. This goes back to Malcolm not knowing who “Martin” is to him He’s still trying to figure it out. Hell, he only resorts to calling him “Clare” when he thinks it’s the only way Martin will get back in the truck. 

21:15 - “What the hell is he doing?” EXCELLENT question. Seriously - did this moron not recognize the Surgeon and his son? There’s a literal manhunt for these two right now. It’s all over the news. It was playing on the precinct TV only a few hours ago. WHY DID CRUTCHFIELD NOT CALL ANYONE ABOUT THEIR IDENTITIES?!? Isn’t it protocol to call the NYPD about this or a hotline? I’m sure it said as much on the wanted flyers and the news.

22:05 - I’m honestly so stressed that Jessica is tipsy and drugged right now. 

22:35 - “Back then I wasn’t a good judge of character. Now I can sniff them out a mile away.” UGH. This honestly gives me PTSD. My mom says the same thing. She married an abusive man and now she claims she’s self-aware and is an excellent judge of character (spoiler alert: she’s not). My mom is about as good at it as Jessica. I mean, anyone remember Endicott? Or Eve? 

23:06 - “What was that Jessie?” OMG. I hate Capshaw more with each passing moment. 

23:16. - GIL. OH THANK GOD. JESSICA IS GOING TO BE OKAY. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. JESSICA DIDN’T GO LONE RANGER ON THIS. 

23:34 - Is that a picture of baby Malcolm on the mantle? <3 So cute. <3

24:10 - This bitch is going to jail for a looooonnnng time. Gil Arroyo and Jessica Whitly just heard her admit to torturing their son. She’s going to suffer. I’m happy about it.

24:28 - “Daddy. Daddy.” My heart is breaking. This is a real insecurity that Jessica has about Malcolm. She feels like she’s not enough for Malcolm. That’s why he keeps visiting Martin. That’s why Malcolm was so attached to Gil and Jackie as a kid (and now). Jessica feels inadequate as a mother. That probably contributes to how she emotionally neglects Ainsley. She’s afraid of trying and failing to be enough for both of her children. So she denies herself the possibility of failure by throwing the match. 

25:07 - Jessica and Malcolm studying Krav Maga together. Headcannon accepted. My heart swells at the thought. 

26:12 - Anyone else think it’s interesting that the picture of baby Ainsley was smashed over Jessica’s head. It just feels too convenient. It has to be some sort of hidden message. Does it mean that Ainsley’s the one who is going to destroy the family? Does it mean Ainsley’s working with Capshaw (or Martin)? It has to mean something. Right?!?

26:34 - “I meant for her sake.” I love Gil. He’s not threatened by the fact that Jessica is a badass. Hell, he thinks it hot. Weak men are intimidated by strong women. Gil’s a keeper. 

26:46 - WHUMP. <3

27:15 - This wasn’t part of Martin’s plan but I do genuinely think Martin’s not nearly as scared as he’s acting. 

27:38 - Why doesn’t JT introduce Ainsley? Because she’s not law enforcement and she’s not technically supposed to be there?

27:56 - Damn. Ainsley is desperate for attention from anyone. I bet you that’s why she became a reporter. People have to listen to you when your face is on their TV reporting the news. 

29:41 - JT is triggered. :( This is PTSD. The last time a gun was pointed at him it was extremely traumatic “I’m a father. I’m a good man and I am not a threat to you.” :( Someone hug him. 

29:57 - “But she is.” <3 DAMN. Badass!Dani for the win. <3 

30:34 - “Predatory psychopath married an emotionally compromised enabler.” Is this a comment on Jessica and Martin’s marriage? Jessica didn’t consciously enable Martin but her rich lifestyle and the things she was willing to overlook to maintain appearances definitely gave Martin more leeway than he should have had. 

30:48 - “You haven’t been in my league for decades.” Yep. Now Martin wants to kill Don. He didn’t need Malcolm to beg him to hurt Don. Martin was already chomping at the bit. 

32:00 - “NO.” Malcolm’s not his father. Even now he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. He tries to protect everyone from physical harm. Even serial killers. That’s a good man. 

32:30 - I hated this speech from Ainsley. It felt....artificial? I just can’t see Ainsley actually believing that her Mother is light, kind, and good when she clearly resents her Mother for paying so much attention to Malcolm and neglecting her. This whole speech just felt really out of character to me. It felt like Ainsley was pulling a Malcolm - saying whatever she needed to get the suspect to confess to the truth. 

33:43 - “I can’t. Not anymore.” Bullshit. Martin clearly wants to hurt this guy. He just refuses to do it until Malcolm begs. Also, it feels like the show is trying to suggest that this is Malcolm giving into the ‘darkness’ that Ainsley was referring to. I disagree. This is typical Malcolm - consumed by the need to save a victim and solve the case. This is the guy who chopped off a guy’s hand to save his life, the guy who tried to infiltrate a cult to save Andi, the guy who tried climbed out of an elevator shaft to arrest a serial killer. Malcolm just doesn’t care about himself and his mental health isn’t doing so great. That doesn’t mean he’s becoming a killer. He’s not ‘going dark’.

34:40 - “Please. I’m asking as your son.” This wrecked me. 1) Malcolm looks so utterly destroyed here. Anguish is all over his face. You can see him grasping at straws because he’s so desperate to save Jeannie. He’s willing to compromise the idea that his Dad may have changed. Malcolm knows Martin hasn’t changed but asking him to do this will make it real and kill Malcolm’s desperate fantasy of a bio-dad who loves him. 2) Martin is a piece of shit. You can see how utterly delighted he is when Malcolm begs and refers to himself as Martin’s son. Martin views Malcolm as a possession and it delights him to hear Malcolm confirm that possession (”I’m asking as you son.”)

35:00 - Okay. His hand isn’t shaking but look at him. You can’t tell me he’s enjoying this. He looks terrified, guilty, nauseous and I don’t think it’s because he’s suddenly realizing that he and Martin are the same. I think it’s because he just compromised his moral code to save a total stranger. He somehow found it in himself to favour a Jeannie over Don. Yes - Don is a serial killer. Yes - Jeannie is his victim. So, yeah - picking Jeannie over Don is logical but does that make it right? That’s what Malcolm is struggling with. That AND the fact that he just asked his Dad to hurt someone - the screaming is probably bringing back suppressed childhood PTSD from that camping trip in the woods. 

35:13 - Another crazy theory for why Malcolm’s hand isn’t shaking. Have you ever been so so so scared/stressed/anxious that you felt nothing? Seriously - it’s like your brain just shuts down everything but life support and your body goes on autopilot. I honestly think that could be happening to Malcolm as a way to cope with the stress. 

35:20 - This is Martin pretending to be tormented and I HATE HIM FOR IT. He’s playing with our broken boy and I despise him for it. Hasn’t Malcolm suffered enough?!?!

36:04 - Something tells me that Don’s testimony will be vital to clearing Malcolm’s name next season (yes, I’m in complete denial that this show is cancelled). 

37:03 - This hurts. Martin is comforting Jeannie and it’s bringing back childhood memories for Malcolm. Memories of a Dad who used to read him bedtime stories and tuck him into bed at night. Memories that are tainted with the knowledge that Martin is a serial killer. Look at how sad Malcolm is. He’s fully accepting that Martin hasn’t changed and that he never will. He’s letting go of the desperate hope that Martin might love him the way he remembers as a child. He’s remembering that the love he experienced as a child was all a hoax on Martin’s part to begin with. 

37:07 - WHEN DID MALCOLM GET A PHONE??!?! WTF. 

37:14 - “The bad man is gone now.” Except he’s not. He’s always been here. He didn’t change. He just tried to be cleverer than his son. It failed. 

37:52 - Do you know what would have made this scene even more powerful? A flashback to the phone call baby Malcolm made to 911 in 1998. 

38:08 - NOW Martin is Dr.Whitly because Malcolm has fully accepted that Martin = The Surgeon = Dr. Whitly. They’re all the same and they all suck.

38:33 - “Maybe I need to work on that.” <3 <3 Yes, get sober sweetheart. Your dependance on alcohol and pills is not healthy. 

38:45 - This Gillica moment will live forever in my heart. I swear I’ve never shipped to people so hard while fully wanting them to be my parents. 

38:51 - OMG. Of fucking course it’s Edrisa. <3 hahahahaha

39:29 - The fact that Malcolm gave Jeannie his jacket is so cute to me. Just more proof that Malcolm’s a good guy. 

39:57 - Looks like the Claremont cardio program is lacking. (I’m so mean).

40:08 - I love this whole exchange between Martin and Malcolm. 1) I fully believe that Martin is genuinely upset that Malcolm turned him in (the dude doesn’t want to go back to prison - fair enough). 2) Malcolm just looks so broken as he listens to his father rant. You can see how bad Malcolm feels for turning his own father over to the cops. Again. The guilt is consuming Malcolm. Very bad for his flimsy mental health. 

40:22 - “You made me become him again.” Okay. Stay in your lane Martin. Let’s not victim blame here. You’re a monster. You’ve been manipulating Malcolm all day and you’re still at it. You wanted to hurt Don but you want to hurt Malcolm more. 

41:11 - “This world isn’t for you.” My heart is shattering. You can hear the pain in Malcolm’s voice. This isn’t a conversation anyone should have to have with a parents. Especially not when you’re already wracked with guilt and mental health issues that you’re not coping with.

41:20 - “Dad. Listen to me. I’m trying to save you.” THIS. THIS is the show. For two years we’ve watched Malcolm try to empathize and understand killers because he’s desperate to save his father and alleviate his guilt for turning Martin in. 

42:00 - “I was a good father. But you, you were never a good son.” ...............this is bad. Shit. This. Is. Bad. This is going to torment Malcolm for the rest of his life. He is going to constantly question “should I have been nicer to Ainsley? Should I have been more obedient? Should I have shown more of an interest in medicine? Would that have stopped that from killing? Did he kill because I wasn’t a good enough son?” Logically Malcolm will know none of that is true but it won’t matter because pain isn’t always logical. 

42:26 - 1) Damn. This family is stabby. 2) holy shit holy shit holy shit. 3) I’m shook. I fully expected it but I’m still shook. It was self defence but that won’t matter. Sure, there’s a 90% chance that Malcolm won’t suffer legally for this but there’s a 100% chance this is going to ruin Malcolm’s life. The guilt is going to swallow him whole. His mental health is going. to reach an all time low. The media will crucify him. No one will look at him the same. He won’t be able to go anywhere without people making assumptions about him. He’s going to be transported back to 1998 - this time with more trauma. It’s not going to be good (and I’m ecstatic at the thought of it because I’m an emotional whump whore). 

42:40 - His hand’s not shaking. I honestly think it’s because he’s in shock because Malcolm still looks like hell. He’s dissociating. If this triggers a mute!Malcolm episode I’m going to be the most excited person in the world. 

42:46 - “I was right. We’re the same.” This was Martin’s master plan. He knew once he escaped Claremont there was no going back. He didn’t want to go back to prison so he found a way to get himself killed (I’m assuming this kills Martin because that’s a lot of blood). No only did he plan to either 1) be on the run forever or 2) die trying  - he made sure that he could torment Malcolm as much as possible along the way. This sentence is going to destroy Malcolm. That sentence has been his greatest fear for 23 years. Now he thinks it’s true. It doesn’t matter that he stabbed out of self-defence. Fear isn’t logical. This is a big problem. 

43:12 - “Bright? What did you do?!?” ..................It’s been 3 days and I still can’t handle this sentence. You can see the shock on Dani’s face and the fear in Malcolm’s eyes. He looks like a cornered animal. He thinks she’s going to arrest him - he knows she has to. He thinks he just ruined his chances at a happy ending with Dani. He’s realizing all at once just how bad his life is about to get. AND DANI - she doesn’t believe he’s a killer but that doesn’t mean she’s not scared for him. The dude looks like he’s in the middle of a mental breakdown plus the legal issues - it’s not going to be a good day. 

I CAN’T BELIEVE THE SEASON ENDED LIKE THIS. I HATE IT. I LOVE IT. I’M CONFLICTED. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. I WANT CLOSURE AND THIS JUST GAVE ME MORE QUESTIONS. UGH. THANK GOD FOR AO3. 

I sincerely hope another network picks us up for a third season - I’ll be back if they do. If not - thanks for hanging out with me. I’ve had fun and this show will always have home in my heart. 

[melaninxateez]

the woosan bond-vamp au (.01)

Hi! Thank you so much for reading my first blog post. My main account is @ kmelanin, so :)) Enjoy. 

No warnings yet.

At the age of 21, you were quite alone…a lot. You did not really have many friends, except a few from high school who hit you up to catch up over a couple of drinks. You have never dated anyone either, too afraid of commitment or heart break. Which means that you were still a virgin. It did not really matter to you, until anytime you try to date, and they cut you off because you do not want to fuck on the first date. Maybe you were just looking in the wrong area. Maybe you should not be looking at all.

                       You could not help but blame the way you look. You were on the heavier side, your body shaped more like a pear. Your hips protruded and so did your belly a bit. Your ass was huge and your boobs on the smaller side. And that, that is not what people want. You are trying to get over this insecurity, as it will do nothing for you. Or maybe this is just another excuse to not lose your virginity a move on with someone random. Maybe you are too picky.

                       When you woke, you grab your phone that started to beep a couple of times. It was a group chat with you and two of your best friends, San and Wooyoung. You do not really remember when you three became so close. But they made sure to keep in contact with you every day. Without you saying anything they always reassure you on how much they love you. You truly did not deserve them.

                       Wooyoung and San told you a couple of days ago that they were going to be out of town for a couple of days. It threw you off a bit because you have not been apart from them for that long since you first met three years ago. You couldn’t help but to feel a bit depressed because of it, and you hated that.

                       You hated that you depended on them so much. Its been two days since they left and you didn’t want to bother them on their vacation; or whatever they were doing. You lay in bed and open your phone. You’ve read all of their messages from the past two days, you just didn’t answer. They wondered what you were up to one day and wondering why you weren’t answering the next. They started to get worried and upset yesterday so you made sure to tell them that you’re fine and that you’re just busy. Now you read todays messages,

                       WOO- I can’t help but feel like you’re avoiding us.

                       Sannie- Its not like you to message us once in three days.

                       WOO- its pissing me off

                       Sannie- we are on our way back to you

                       Sannie- expect us around 8 tonight…

                       Your eyes widen at the last message. You look at the time noticing that its almost 10am. Your heart started racing, you didn’t know what to do. You didn’t really have a valid reason to not messaging them, you just didn’t feel the need to. They needed time away from you, you felt. More like you needed time away from them, you needed to clear you mind a bit. Because what you felt for them is different than anything else you ever felt. Is it wrong to feel like this for them? For both?

                       At this point, you’re overthinking. You decided to message them back.

                       YOU- sorry, I just woke up guys. But did you guys have fun?

                           You didn’t know…they don’t know how to tell you. San and Wooyoung, they fell in love. Not only with you, but with your soul. They are bound to you for eternity and you didn’t know. It was absolutely the most painful thing this man has ever gone through. Days before them leaving, Wooyoung was losing this control a bit to fast.

                       It was a night that they decided to sleep over. You don’t usually cuddle with them, which made them upset sometimes. But that night, you fell asleep against Wooyoung while watching a movie in your bed. San was laying on the end more focused on the movie than anything. Wooyoung was sitting next to you, his back against the wall. You were laying against some pillows next to him.

                       Wooyoung looks over at you halfway through the movie to see that you were asleep. He pokes your cheek a bit to make sure that you were fully asleep. Then he gently pushes your head so that it fell right on his lap. Then you started to move making Wooyoung freeze and San to look back. When San watched you cuddle into Woo young’s lap, his eyes widen, and he starts to sit up a bit.

                       “Fuck…” Wooyoung groans softly, his body was tingling like crazy. He didn’t think this all the way through. San looks up at Wooyoung noticing the younger one staring back down at you.

                       “Yah, what are you doing?” San starts to freak, but also tries not to wake you up. San clenches his hands on the bed when he watches Wooyoung run his whole hand down your arm. He then rans his hand over your head and pushes your hair away from your neck. San didn’t know what to do and Wooyoung couldn’t stop.

                       Wooyoung felt his fangs start to protrude out, and his vision goes a bit red. He knows his eyes were glowing at this point. He looks up at San, noticing his eyes were glowing back at him.

                       “I just wanted her to rest on my lap a bit, as we never really get to hold her.” Wooyoung speaks slowly, he feels as if he might crack at any moment. Both men make sure not to move to fast, because if they did…who know what would happen.

                       “You know what skin on skin contact does to us, we can only handle it for so long. And you haven’t had any blood in a week, you’re really push our luck.” Sans voice starts to get deadly. He starts to threaten the younger one, warning him not to do any harm to you. “When we mark her as our, then it won’t be so intense. Until then we need to go and feed, and plan how we tell her.

                       In a blink of an eye, Wooyoung was standing next to the bed. They both watch you, making sure you don’t wake up. When you turn over and fall back into your deep sleep, they let out a breath.

                       “I hate this…” Wooyoung pouts softly as he tries to pull himself together. He also adjusts his pants a bit because he was supporting a hard on. San just shakes his head and pulls the younger one out into the living room.

                       It was the next morning when they told you about their vacation.

                       They are always with you, because its impossible to be away. They remember seeing you sitting in a café window enjoying some tea and a muffin as you drew on your iPad. San couldn’t help but to admire you the whole time, while Wooyoung was practically jumping up and down where he stood.

                       San tends to be the calmer and more serious one between the both of them. He tends to care for both you and Wooyoung so very much. San and Wooyoung have always been a duo, and they just knew that they needed one more.

                       Wooyoung being the giddy one, he walked up to you first, complementing your art and sitting down next to you without asking. San just rolls his eyes and his bluntness from outside.

                       Ever since that day, they haven’t left your side.

                       San watches Wooyoung pace around the hotel room as they wait for their friend Yunho. He’s dropping off some blood bags for them to take back home. His pacing was driving San insane.

                       “Will you sit down? You pacing around like that is pissing me off.” San says lowly as he rubs his temples a bit. Wooyoung instantly stops and groans, he runs his fingers through his hair.

                       “I need to be next to her. Do you think she’ll accept us?” Wooyoung asks San. He walks over to the bed and sits next to him.

                       “I have no fucking idea. I never know what shes thinking.” San mumbles. Its true, they never knew. That kept things interesting for them though, as they can read people quite easily. Wooyoung throws himself back on the bed, and he sighs.

                       “I don’t think I can survive if she rejects us.”

                       Suddenly both of their phone dings, they both instantly take out their phones and read the second message you’ve sent them in three days. They are pretty sure you loved driving them crazy.

                       YOU- sorry, I just woke up guys. But did you guys have fun?

                       Wooyoung couldn’t help but to laugh a bit.

                       “I cant believe she just messages us like she hasn’t been ignoring our messages.” He grumbles. Hes always asking if you’ve eaten, or wonders how your day is.

                       “Be happy that she even said anything back.” San says as he starts to text something back.

                           Sannie- Did you sleep well? Did you eat?

                       If you were asked what question they ask you the most, it would be “Did you eat?”. At first you thought it was sweet that they wanted to make sure that you were well taken care of. But at some point, it felt like they were trying to fatten you up. You always complain to them that you’re thick enough, maybe a bit too thick. Suddenly your phone starts to ring, your heart beating out of your chest. You look back at your phone seeing a group chat facetime call coming in.

                       You couldn’t ignore it, so you answer it. You face the camera towards your closet at the end of your bed instead of on your face.

                       “Hi Woosan.” You say, your voice cracks a bit since you didn’t wake up not to long ago.

                       “Why is the camera pointed at the wall, I called to see your face.” Wooyoung whines a bit into the camera. You couldn’t help but to blush while looking at both. They always look so good, in every angle and in every lighting.

                       “I just woke up, I look ugly.” You complain rolling your eyes a bit. You couldn’t help but to laugh little bit when you noticed that he rolled his eyes too. You found that cute, so you just turned your camera towards you. They’ve seen you when you first wake up plenty of time, how is this any different?

                       “Ahhhh, there you are pretty girl.” San smiles big when he sees you. You start to blush when you notice both smiling big and just staring at you. You wait a couple of more seconds before you notice them not really saying anything.

                       “Are you both just going to stare at me the whole time?” You ask covering your face a bit with your free hand.

                       “Mhmm.” Wooyoung smirks and nods his head, making a point to hold his head up with his hand and look lovingly into the camera at you. You throw your blanket off of your body and you sit up and stretch. You didn’t realize that the camera was catching the whole scene for them up close. They both looked at each other with huge smiles on their face.

                       “So cute.” They both coos. But you don’t hear that. You stand up from your bed and you head to your bathroom to start your morning routine.

                       “Why must you facetime me now if you’re coming home later.” You ask them as you set your phone up on a shelf that was near your sink. You grab your toothbrush and open the toothpaste.

                       “ahh, well…” Wooyoung starts off as if he wanted to say something, but he stops himself and looks over at San who was in the same room as him. San looks from him back to his phone at you.

                       “You suddenly forgot how to text, so facetime is the only way.” San puts it simply. They were damn near praying that you would answer.

                       “Sorry guys, I just feel so..” You pause from saying what you wanted, and you continue brushing your teeth.

                       “Eh?” San asks, not sure if he heard you or not. You just shrug and point to the brush in your mouth, then you leave the view of the camera.

                       When you’re done brushing your teeth and washing your face, you look back at the camera and noticed that they muted themselves. They were looking at each other and talking but you couldn’t hear them.

                       You take this time to look at your best friends, you will never get over how fucking gorgeous they are. San has dark hair with some red strands in it, he could rock any hairstyle. You were still trying to convince him to grow his hair out for a mullet. Wooyoung hair wasn’t black, but it was a dark brown. He got it done days before he left.

                       “Guys…” You say wanting to hear their voices. “Why am I muted? Are you talking about my birthday coming up?” You joke around.

                       “Of course, we are, it’s in a couple of days and we still haven’t gotten your gift yet.” Sans voice comes through first, his words getting you excited. His gifts were always amazing, from random songs he’s made for you to expensive jewelry. Wooyoungs always made you blush, giving you really pretty lingerie and expensive shoes. They really did spoil you.

                       You didn’t know, but they wanted to confess to you on your birthday. They wanted to tell you how much they love you before the bigger secret. They needed to see that you could handle them without all the extra stuff. They were very afraid of your reaction, but they were also confident in you. They wouldn’t have bonded with you if you couldn’t handle it.

                       “Actually, I want to go to a club for my birthday. I haven’t been to a club in a while.” You perk up at the thought. But the boys look at each other confused as hell. You always reject their attempts to get you into one. You know they loved dancing, so you always forced them to go without you. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you guys fully dance, so I want to.”

                       Its true. Sure, you’ve seen them do a little dance here or there, but you haven’t seen them go all out. And if the rumors are true, they go crazy in clubs.

                       “Okay, but what about our little get togethers, I miss those.” Woo whines a bit as he speaks, making you blush a bit. You loved when he spoke like that, it made you feel like whatever you said next to him would make or break him.

                       “We can have one the night after, plus its Wednesday and my birthday is Saturday. We have time in between.” San nods his head in agreement with your words.

                       “Which one are you thinking?” San asks, he brings the camera closer to his face so he can hear you loud and clear. He wishes he were there right now talking about it with you. But the sun makes his skin itch, and he didn’t bring clothes for that. They will have to wait until the sun starts to go down.

                       “Mhmm,” You set up your phone on a cookie jar in your kitchen. You open the fridge and bend down to grab some thick cut bacon and some eggs. Both San and Wooyoung enjoy the show a bit too much, seeing your oversized shirt rise a bit as you bend over, showing off your black and white stripped undies. Wooyoung had to rip the phone away from his eyes. San looks over to him and watches as he fixes his pants to make his hard on more comfortable.

                       “Did I teach you anything about self-control?” San whispers harshly. He swears Wooyoung will never learn. He looks back at the phone, and watches as you start to cook some bacon.

                       “What’s the one club on the edge of town with the red sign called?” You ask

                       “Hwa Fang?

                       “Oh yes!! Let’s go to that one, you say you go there all the time, right?” You ask them while smiling. You couldn’t tell, but they got nervous. Hwa Fang is a club owned by one of their dear friends SeongHwa. SeongHwa is a much older vampire, he owned vampire clubs and human clubs. Hwa Fang so happen to be a combination of the two, allowing humans and vampires to mingle together freely. They don’t feel comfortable enough to let you go there without even telling you about them.

                       Their secret will come out then, and they can’t let that happen. But then again, they don’t want to disappoint you.

                       “How about the one downtown, the roof top on you’ve always wanted to go to?” Wooyoung brings up the club that you always see glowing at the top. You didn’t know it was a club until they told you.

                       “That’s true, but its also so much more expensive.” You contemplate your options as you finish cooking your food. You would rather not pay $50 for one drink.

                       “You know you don’t have to worry about that,” Wooyoung starts.

                       “Especially on your birthday.” San finishes.

                       You three continue talking about random shit, trying to make the time go by faster. While talking with them, you’ve realized how much you’ve been over thinking. These boys are your life and you’re okay with that.  No matter what happens you can’t lose them, you refuse.