#it's not all bad! i am going to be ok! there r so many people in my life who love me and love me in a way that makes sense to me and doesn'

[goldkirk]

.

[munamania]

things have not been normal. im so tired.

[anobjectshowguy]

I hope people in the OSC (and other fandoms in general) who are ok with or neutral about Kosa realize that not only will we lose a bunch of platforms that allow us to interact with each other (Tumblr, discord, Ao3, Wattpad, Twitter, YouTube, etc) but will also get rid of at least 80-95% of our fandom.

The OSC consists mostly of people between 13-17 who (if Kosa goes through the Senate and Houses of Representatives and gets passed as a law) will most likely no longer have access to YouTube and other social platforms which actively kills almost all the people who read and watch Object Shows!

By visiting and sharing animated shows like II or BFDI those creators make money which gives them the means to keep making their shows and paying their animators, voice actors, writers and so much more. This bill will actively get rid of most of the people who watch these shows which will cause a large loss in support and revenue for these creators and will most likely mean the end for any smaller object show.

Object show comics rely on people sharing them around in fandom spaces since they’re not animated and put on YouTube like animated object shows are. By losing these spaces and the people who support their content these creators will no longer be able to reach a large audience and get the support they need to continue their comics. This means that we will lose a lot of the comics that the OSC has!

Most of the content you see in the OSC is made by minors, which this bill will actively destroy and thus kill this fandom and many others!

So I am begging of you OSC and other communities, Please please please sign petitions, tell your senators and representatives that you don’t want this bill to pass, and tell anyone that you can reach about how this Bill is a violation of privacy and minors' rights! Re-blog anything you see with helpful information about what Kosa is and keep talking about it! We need to tell people about it so that this doesn’t go through the Senate. Remember, the final day is February 26, we don’t have that long!!!

Here’s some helpful resources:

 https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/07/you-can-help-stop-these-bad-internet-bills

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to hang out with my boyfriend’s best friend?

My [33F] boyfriend’s [30M] (we’ll call him R) best friend (30s M) (call him D) is chronically late but also never communicates anything. I have ADHD and like I get it. I have all the patience in the world for people who are late if they communicate they will be late. But D will never communicate anything, ever.

R and D have a standing game night on Fridays where they go for dinner and play board games. D “normally” comes between 4-5pm. He picks up his kids from school at 3:30, drops them home with his partner and then drives over. It is a 30 minute drive. But in the past, both on regular Friday meetings, and for other meetups, he has been significantly late (3 hours, once!) without saying a word all day.

R wants me to join them on Friday evenings. I don’t have a traditional ‘job’ but I am a crafter with many things to do and also, as mentioned, I have ADHD. Part of that means I really need a specific time to go and do something otherwise I will just be stuck in like “wait mode” all day unable to do anything because I don’t know when I need to stop doing it. The first time I went out with R & D I did lose the whole day (no work done) because we could get no actual information from D on when he was coming, and he ended up not arriving until after 5pm.

I told D I didn’t appreciate not being able to properly plan my day, and that providing a heads up about these things is generally considered polite. I also made it clear afterwards to R that if D continued to not communicate anything and just “turn up whenever, at some point after 4, maybe” then I would not be joining them on board game nights. 

Today I once again only had “4-5ish, I guess” but by 4:30 not only was D not here but R had heard nothing from him, and suspected he had not even left. I told R I was not coming, I had already mostly lost the day - having stopped work several hours before - but I would at least be reclaiming the evening.

At 5:15 R called me to say that D had been arranging to have his partner come, and had been sorting out childcare (in the form of D’s mum). He at no point earlier in the day had said anything about this to R. In fact they hadn’t spoken at all. D then told R they would be leaving at around 5:45, so wouldn’t be here until at least 6:15.

I reiterated that I would not be coming. It was a boundary I set before and was very clear about, and was now enforcing it. D could have said much earlier that he was planning on inviting his partner, would have to arrange childcare, and would likely be later than usual. He chose not to do that, so I am choosing to not go.

R then got upset with me and said he would not be coming over to spend the night at my place the following evening (we have a normal routine on who stays where which days, and he knows unexpectedly changing that without any discussion at all will also mess with my ability to do things. The routine is important to me) because I was being unfair. 

I told him, again, it’s a firm boundary for me. People who won’t communicate anything at all when you have plans (even loose ones) aren’t respecting other people’s time. Even if that’s not the intention it’s still just… rude to the other person. Other people still have lives when you’re not there, and expecting everyone else to just be ready for “whenever” you feel like showing up without a word is not ok. Again, if it happens only once in a while because Shit Happens that’s different. But if it’s every time, with everyone, forever, then really you’re just a bit inconsiderate.

R says he doesn’t feel that way because he doesn’t have anything going on so it doesn’t bother him, so he isn’t upset with D (even though I have things on, so it does impact and bother me, his partner) but he is upset with me because I am “making him feel bad”. D’s complete lack of communication and lateness is not the problem, the fact I am annoyed about it and choosing to stay home is the problem. I said it is not fair to blame me for this turn of events when (unlike D) I was VERY clear beforehand that I wouldn’t be going if this happened, and that if nothing else he should still be at least a little annoyed with D for not respecting my time after I’d already spoken to him about it.

Instead of actually sitting D down and properly telling him “look I don’t have things to do but L does and it does bother her when you don’t communicate anything so it is messing with her work when you do this and that is not ok”, R then said he just won’t invite me to anything ever again. So I can’t be upset if he’s late.

AITA for refusing to go to board game night?

What are these acronyms?

[safedistancefrombeingsmart]

I am torn between laughing and... more laughing at those headlines.

Let's start with my favourite:

And then here we also have:

Who are those viewers? I get that the scene in question can make people uncomfortable and maybe even that they are 'grossed out'. I get that. But honestly: what did they expect? I've never been to the cinema without having at least a clue what the film is about that I am going to watch in a bit. I don't read spoilers, but at least a summary of what the film is about.

The movie is rated R (for sexual content, language throughout, some teen smoking and drinking). And it's about a teacher and his student. I mean, the sexual content surely would not happen between the janitor and the school nurse? If you don't want to see that- don't watch the movie! That's on the viewer, not the movie.

Also, there was absolutely nothing explicit about the scene. No sex happened! (It was implied, yes- but nothing happened.)

All this makes me believe that most of the mentioned viewers are 13-year-olds who totally missed the point of the entire film (granted, it wasn't a very strong point) and just like to complain on social media. And of course that's were the tabloids come in and produce those memorable headlines. (Still laughing at the Hobbit one.)

I've said it before: Miller's Girl isn't a very good movie, but it also isn't a very bad one. It's somewhere in between, imho. But there is nothing surprising about it. There was nothing misleading in the trailer or the synopsis. We always knew there was a big age gap between the main characters (even tho it was a bit smaller in the screenplay). We knew that!

I've been following this movie since it was announced and I read many, many times something like: 'I like Martin, but I am going to pass on that one. It's not my cup of tea.' And that's absolutely 100% ok. That's how it should be. If something makes you uncomfortable: do not watch it. I don't like horror movies, so I don't watch them (yes, even when Martin is in it. 😉)

You don't like movies that contain a teacher/student- relationship or a big age gap? Do not watch it! You watched it anyway and it grossed you out? Well, who do you blame? Yeah, I thought so. Shame on you if you blame the movie or the director or the actors.

PS: I am not mad or anything, just mostly amused. (Still laughing at the Hobbit headline!!)

[kyojurismo]

▸ INTRO. [modern au] you need to get the train to come back to your apartment but it’s full of people and you get anxious about it.

▸ NOTES. ok well i needed comfort so here i am, r’s feelings are mostly based on my own experience so it doesn’t mean that everyone goes through this + i feel better w some kind of physical contact, but again that’s on me. i hope this will give comfort to others that feel like me ig <3

▸ FANDOM. kimetsu no yaiba

▸ CHARACTERS. tengen uzui, sanemi shinazugawa, kyojuro rengoku x gn!reader

▸ RATING. sfw

▸ WARNINGS. modern au! mention of anxiety, cursing, pda, not proofread ofc + lemme know if i missed something pls

TENGEN UZUI

tengen doesn’t notice at first, also because he’s used to take trains full of people so it’s nothing new

but then he remembers you saying that it’s difficult for you and that it makes you anxious being around so many people in a space like that

so he makes sure you’re near a window and tries to distract you with some random chat, to keep your attention focused on him

tengen knows that otherwise you’ll spend the whole ride thinking that people around you are judging you and staring at you & this would only get you even more anxious

“i was thinking that tomorrow would be great to go for a movie, or something,” he starts, gently taking one of your hands to stop your fidgeting. “what do you think?”

you would say yes, but he can see clearly that your brain is still filling up with those bad thoughts

“alright, come here,” he gently push you towards his body and let you rest against his chest. you lean into his embrace and close your eyes, finding comfort in in his perfume and his body heat. “thank you, tengen,” you whisper into his hoodie

“we’re almost there, you’re doing amazing,” he praises you, caressing your back slowly. he’s truly proud of you because he knows it gets suffocating and he tries his best to make sure you know he’s here

would also hold your hand the whole time, as to keep you grounded and make you look outside the window while he talks about something !!!

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA

sanemi gets annoyed when he sees the train is full of people (key words: annoyed & people)

you soon grab his hand, so you won’t get separated or something

“this fucking town,” he says under his breath.

there’s no need for you to remind him or for sanemi to notice, he’s on autopilot when he takes you to the closest window

wouldn’t hesitate to push people out of his way 🫥

he positions himself right behind your back and circles your neck with his arm, caressing your shoulder gently

you rest your chin on his arm and stare out of the window, trying to concentrate on the landscape to ignore all the people around you

sanemi notices you’re still a bit nervous so he tries to distract you with some cheeky phrases or a very bad joke

“see? you’re doing amazing,” he kisses your head and makes sure you’re alright. “i’m here with you.”

KYOJURO RENGOKU

now, kyojuro is a little distracted

you notice the train and start gripping his jacket, making sure you won’t lose him

“kyo…” you try to get his attention, but you notice he’s talking with a guy nearby

you squeeze his arm and get closer to his side, your eyes nervously scanning everyone around you

“yes, darling?” he finally turns his face and once he notices he takes action

“excuse me,” he gently push you towards the window while people let you two pass. he shows everyone his smile as a thank you, before giving you his whole attention

“better?” he asks you, putting one of his hands on your hip. “i’m sorry i didn’t notice sooner,” he apologises and kisses your temple.

“no problem,” you mutter and let your back rest against his chest, relaxing a bit. “i’m so proud of you for taking this train anyway, you’re amazing.”

you smile and hold his other hand, your heartbeat finally slowing down a bit

i think he would also ask you if you want to get off and wait for the next one, if you’re too overwhelmed ):

▸ BEFORE LEAVING. reblog and comments are super appreciated. thank you so much for reading !!! have a good day / night ♡

[wolfstarhaven]

Hi! I am looking for pining fics where Sirius or Remus are dating/hooking up with other people and the other has to sadly and quietly pine (but they eventually get together).

Especially if it is at hogwarts and maybe the other person sees or hears something they wish they hadn’t? Non-hogwarts also welcome! Love me some pining and miscommunication that gets worked out!

Hi love🌸 Here’s my best try! If I remember correctly, all of the Hogwarts ones include some sort of scene where Sirius walks in on Remus and someone else (;

Hogwarts era:

Befriending A Ravenclaw, by kreestar (55k)

Remus is a Ravenclaw Prefect and Sirius is finding it harder and harder to admit he isn't obsessed with him.

In which Sirius thinks he’s straight (surprise, he’s not), and gets very confused (read: jealous) when Remus gets a boyfriend. Slow burn pining on all sides — it’s bloody wonderful!

Casanova of Gryffindor Tower, by Moonystar_394 (16k)

In sixth year, Sirius Black had two major realizations.

First and foremost, Sirius was utterly, irrevocably and in an almost excruciatingly embarrassing way head over heels for his best friend.

Secondly, his best friend was kind of a slut.

In which everyone’s in love with Remus (as they should be), Remus is oblivious, and Sirius gets veeeery sexually frustrated. I love it!

Falling Into Place, by GreenEyedGoddess (6k)

There's always been something special about Remus Lupin, even if it's taken Sirius Black until his seventh year to realize it. Too bad he spends so much time agonizing over his changing feelings that he loses his chance. In which Remus acts like an idiot, Marlene is the snarky voice of reason, James is a mother hen, Peter is confused, and Sirius is seriously jealous.

They are so stupid!!! (I love them). In which r and s kiss, but then they completely fail to communicate afterwards. Can they talk to each other? no no no! Instead Remus starts dating Dirk Cresswell (because of a misunderstanding, ofc). Much jealousy and pining ensues.

Just Like Best Friends Do, by MsAlexWP (4k)

After uselessly pining for three years Remus decides, finally, to get Sirius out of his system by shagging as many blokes as he can. It doesn’t go quite as planned.

So much stupidity and miscommunication in one little fic! Jealous!sirius, oblivious!remus, and lots of mutual pining. #clown-to-clown-communication. Also, Remus is really hot (;

Non-hogwarts:

talking over cigarettes and drinking coffee, by beep348 (20k)

Remus and Sirius are in the same literature seminar at university and while Remus is great at reading books he is very bad at reading people.

Ok so this is a muggle!au and I know I’ve recced this before. But it’s so good so here we go again! If you haven’t read this already, you definitely should!!! In which Remus is under the impression that Sirius is dating Mary. Things get complicated. Misunderstanding deluxe! It’s so so so lovely and well-written! Lots of pining and jealousy, a beautiful slow burn (for 20k).

xx Elliot

[tiny-tk]

hi friends !! bit of a different post this time, but i wanna talk about disney and it’s place in the agere community.

i won’t get into specifics, but events in palestine r making a lot of people (including me) decide to boycott disney by not doing anything that lets them make money. if you don’t know about this, i rly rly encourage you to do ur own research (ideally while not in little space since it’s .. very rough topics) and make ur own choice on wether or not u wanna support them after knowing the full story of what’s going on n disney’s involvement.

this post is for littles who feel conflicted by the calls for a boycott!!

first of all, i know it can be scary to find out that something you’ve been giving money to for merch or subscriptions or whatever is going to a bad place. but no one is blaming you for that, and if you didn’t know then you didn’t know. but you can always change!!

"why are people boycotting disney?"

i won't go in depth to keep this post little-safe, but essentially the israeli military is currently doing terrible things to the people of palestine, and disney is helping them fund and promote it. here's a couple links that go more in-depth if you want to learn, but i'd recommend not reading them while regressed:

https://insidethemagic.net/2023/11/disney-israel-palestine-boycott-jc1/

https://www.dailygamecock.com/article/2023/12/column-why-boycotting-for-palestine-gaza-is-important-opinion-vanderhorst#:~:text=There%20are%20currently%20three%20main,financially%20or%20through%20public%20statements.

but i mostly encourage you to try n find out on your own, rather than listening to some random tumblr user about it.

“but disney is a huge comfort source for me.”

this doesn’t have to change. you don’t have to stop liking their movies n shows. you don’t have to stop loving your toys or books of disney characters. if something brings you comfort, that is sacred, and no one can take that away. a lot of disney media made me who i am today, and yet i’m still writing this post against the company, these things can both be true !!

similarly, agere is a safe space for so many people, which can be used to justify supporting things that really don't deserve our support, since people want to protect themselves by not finding out why. put bluntly, people knowing that there are problems, but choosing to ignore them, is part of the problem itself. if you feel at all capable of educating yourself, please do. it's so important.

“ok, so what can i do?”

if you’ve decided to join the boycott, that’s wonderful!! all that is being asked, is to not spend money on anything from disney. so branded food, toys, a disney+ subscription, stuff like that. if you’re used to doing that a lot, here’s some alternatives!

. :+* get disney toys second hand - they’re pre-loved!! they’ve already started a life with someone, and they’re eager to continue it with a new kid

. :+* pirate shows n movies instead !! this can be a little tricky to figure out, but it’s how i watch pretty much everything hehe, and can be a lot of fun! alternatively, you could just borrow a friend’s subscription or buy dvds second hand if you have a dvd player.

. :+* get merch from independent sellers. this way, you still get brand new things with ur favorite disney characters, but you also get to support independent creators n not support disney the brand !! also, these are often higher quality than official products too, which is like bonus points.

. :+* if you're posting about somethin disney related, add a note that lets people know that you don't support the brand n encourages ppl to find out why for themselves

it’s a tough change to make, but any help is better than no help. if you aren’t sure what i’m talking about, please do your own research. the scale of what’s happening in palestine is huge, and boycott movements like this have been proven to cause real positive change in the past. i won’t get mad at anyone for choosing not to boycott, but it’s important to me that as many people as possible consciously make that choice for themselves, instead of blindly following a company that’s using their money to hurt people.

hearing about terrible things happening is exhausting, regardless of how much you're doing to help. but try to remember that any action is better than nothing, especially with activism, and keep doing whatever you can. <3 take care of yourselves friends !!

[lovebvni]

my opinion on shifttok

ok, we all know that tiktok in general is a very toxic, harmful place for people that are growing up.

my opinion on shifttok isn’t going to be very… new? but it’s going to have some of the good parts, yk?

im not making this blog long bc i dont care a lot abt tiktok 💀💀

anyways, i hate shifttok. the negativity there, the lies, the manipulation is sooo SOOO harmful, and im tired of it. the fact there r so many people, witches included, that manipulate their viewers “if u don’t watch to the end/like/follow/ do x y z, then u will never shift!!” has me fed up.

let me tell everyone this, if u don’t interact with a post bc u don’t care, you aren’t goin to be held accountable by the universe, because that person just wants fame. hell, half the videos i see on there, even if the person doesn’t look interesting to me, i am SCROLLING faster than a foxy can run, okay?

there is nothing wrong with not caring, as long as you aren’t putting anyone in harms way, yk? and by not liking or following, you are not killing anyone!! if anything, they r trying to guilt trip u for their own gain. if there was genuinely something going on that is serious, i doubt it would be on tiktok.

anyways, back to shifttok…

i think shifttok is a good *introduction to shifting* place. just to know what it is, what it’s like and to learn the basics. it’s like having a pen pal is something fun, u can learn about them, but once u find out they have a different view than u, i highly doubt u would take their advice on something u disagree ruth, yk?

so, all and all, shifttok as a hole is a toxic place — but if it wasn’t for tiktok, witchtok and shifttok, then would u have been introduced to shifting at 15? 16? or u could have possibly never been able to find it.

of course, everything is going to come to you if u need it, but sometimes bc something doesn’t blow up for at least a short period of time, you would have been introduced to it LATER!

what im getting at is, introduction ≠ learning from the place. i was introduced to witchcraft in church, under the blind-eyes of christian’s, but once i did my own research and talked to people with their own experiences, that’s when i found it how helpful it can be.

that’s all. shifttok is still bad, but there’s always *something* even the tiniest bit of hope in the bad.

[toadprose]

An Exchange of Endearments;

The one where a stolen phone united two people who were destined to meet. A story told through text messages.

☎ w.c: 3,1k

☎ pairing: ghost x soap // simon riley x john mactavish

☎ rating: pg

☎ archive of our own: link here

☎ genre: silliness, humor, fluff

☎ warnings: mention of an inappropriate app but only by name

☎ author's note: hello :) i wanted to experiment with writing a story in a different format. it's mainly just silly. there's only 3 chapters rn. i'm testing out different ways to end this fic but there will definitely be more chapters to come. thank you for reading! ALSO!! the plan was to have tho WHOLE fic like those imessage screenshots but they take too long to make and i am lazy so pls just use ur imagination

Soap: dumbass. how many times u gonna drop ur phone at exfil? this is the last time i’m saving ur new number, gaz. venmo me $6 for the tea or i’ll give it to that hot dog cart guy.

???: ?

???: Wrong number.

Soap: fuck. sorry, lad.

Soap: wait. this is gaz’s number. what the hell?

Soap: how did u get this phone

???: I stole it from a drunk guy in a bathroom.

Soap: …

Soap: what the fuck, man?

???: I think he left his phone there.

???: And I need one.

???: This works out fine.

Soap: where tf r u, i wanna yell at u

Soap: and ask if u want any help getting back home. were u drinkin too?

???: Why would I tell a complete stranger where I am?

Soap: fair enough.

???: Why do you care about the well-being of me, a phone thief?

Soap: im a big brother. always looking out for the little guys. even when theyre stealing phones.

???: I am not little. 

Soap: ok then, big guy.

Soap: i know we just met and all, but maybe take ur new phone and get somewhere safe tonight. dont sleep on a park bench. or a strangers bed.

???: Who do you think I am, a hobo? I have a very nice home.

Soap: then why tf did u steal a phone in the first place?

???: Because I wanted one.

???: I did not have any money on me.

Soap: well now u do, so buy a fucking phone, mate.

???: But this one works fine.

Soap: and im not sure that the owner agrees with u

???: He will live.

Soap: not the point.

???: If he can afford this type of phone, he can afford another one.

Soap: not my argument

???: Are you saying I should buy my own phone?

Soap: yeah. thats literally what im saying.

???: But why, when this one is free.

Soap: jesus christ

???: And you can Venmo me the money instead.

Soap: ill venmo u my foot up ur arse.

???: I will pay you back.

???: You do not have to be mean.

Soap: how did u make me a dick in this conversation. i was trying to help.

???: Well, I still have the phone.

Soap: yea. but at what cost.

Soap: u got a name, phone thief?

???: Ghost.

Soap: is that ur name or are u hiding.

Ghost: Yes.

Soap: ok im calling the cops

Ghost: Please do not.

Ghost: I can explain.

Ghost: I can be normal.

Soap: not what i asked.

Soap: im joking. im not a cop.

Soap: but seriously, ghost. what the hell are u doing?

Ghost: Living.

Soap: not a lot of living happening in the bathroom of a bar, lad.

Ghost: I needed a new phone.

Ghost: And the bathroom was very clean.

Soap: thats it. im gonna go find u.

Soap: if u wont listen to reason then at least give me ur location.

Ghost: I would prefer if you didn't.

Ghost: I don't really enjoy meeting new people.

Soap: ur stuck with me now. i wanna meet the man who stole my mate's phone in a public restroom.

Ghost: Please, don't.

Soap: too late, i got u in find friends.

Ghost: WHAT

Ghost: WHY

Ghost: HOW

Ghost: WHEN

Ghost: DO NOT

Soap: relax, im joking. 

Ghost: This is not funny.

Soap: a lil bit funny.

Ghost: Fuck you.

Ghost: Do not text this number again.

Soap: too bad.

Soap: this is my new favorite thing.

Ghost: This is not an entertainment device.

Soap: u made it into one when u took the phone.

Ghost: I should have stolen your phone.

Soap: yea. u prolly should have.

Soap: maybe u still can.

Ghost: No, thank you.

Soap: im so glad to hear ur manners kicked in at the end there.

Soap: i feel better knowing ur not a total dick.

Ghost: That's not what my mom tells me.

Soap: oh god.

Ghost: Sorry.

Ghost: I didn't mean to send that.

Ghost: It was a joke.

Ghost: A bad one.

Ghost: I will never send another inappropriate message.

Ghost: Please stop laughing.

Soap: i cant

Soap: my face hurts

Soap: ur so awkward

Soap: im dying

Ghost: Thank you for your feedback.

Ghost: Now please stop messaging me.

Soap: hey. gaz is rlly sad about his stolen phone. give it back. 

Ghost: What is a gaz?

Soap: the drunk guy u stole the phone from a few days ago.

Ghost: That seems like his problem.

Soap: yeah. but if u give him the phone back, he might let me play with his new sniper rifle. 

Ghost: Interesting.

Soap: he also has a big bag of jelly beans.

Ghost: I have his phone.

Soap: u wanna come over and trade it for the jelly beans?

Ghost: No.

Soap: :(

Ghost: Maybe.

Soap: yes!!

Ghost: You can have the phone.

Ghost: But only if you take a picture of him holding the jelly beans and send it to me.

Soap: that sounds easy enough.

Soap: do u like black liquorice?

Ghost: No.

Soap: good.

Ghost: ?

Soap: hey

Ghost: This is not Gaz's number.

Soap: i know. it’s urs and we’re friends now

Ghost: No, we aren't.

Soap: yes, we are.

Soap: if ur not gonna give the phone back, at least tell me a name i can put in the contact for this number

Ghost: No. 

Soap: just gimme a name. or i'll make one up for u

Ghost: Do not.

Soap: u know what, i think u look like a jack

Ghost: You don't even know what I look like.

Soap: no, but that doesn't matter

Soap: i think i have an idea

Soap: and a friend named jack. it would be hilarious

Ghost: Please, no.

Soap: too late. jack it is

Jack: I don't want to be called that.

Soap: it's a nice name

Jack: You don't even know if I'm a guy.

Soap: are u

Jack: That's not the point.

Jack: It doesn't matter.

Soap: then what's ur name

Jack: If I give you a name, will you leave me alone?

Soap: yeah

Jack: Okay.

Jack: Call me Toad.

Soap: toad???

Soap: ok

Toad: Okay?

Soap: i'm not gonna call u that

Toad: Then why did you say you would?

Soap: why did u say u would give the phone back and then not give it back?

Toad: Fine.

Soap: fine

Toad: Good.

Soap: good!

Soap: hey toad

Toad: Oh my god.

Soap: how are u

Toad: I hate everything.

Soap: what a coincidence. so do i

Toad: How wonderful for us.

Soap: yeah it is.

Soap: u want to hear about the mission i just got back from?

Toad: It’s Ghost, not Toad. And I literally couldn't care less.

Soap: well that's rude. it was very exciting

Ghost: Are you military?

Soap: u know i could have asked for the phone back a long time ago. but i'm not. i'm just a good samaritan who wanted to make sure u got home safe

Ghost: That was a lot of words.

Soap: i had a lot to say

Ghost: Are you always like this?

Soap: yes. anyway, i am military. sort of. i like making stuff explode.

Ghost: What's your rank?

Soap: sergeant. i'm pretty cool.

Ghost: Cooler than most sergeants?

Soap: probably

Soap: but i still wouldn't tell gaz i said that

Ghost: Who is Gaz again?

Soap: i already told u

Ghost: It's been a while. I forgot.

Soap: that's the same as saying u care. i know u care.

Ghost: I don't.

Soap: ok, u dont care.

Ghost: I don't.

Soap: so if i texted u at 3 am to say my roommate accidentally lit my bed on fire, u wouldn't care?

Ghost: That's different.

Ghost: If you're really in the military, you should be able to deal with it.

Soap: wow.

Soap: ur kind of a dick

Ghost: You don't even know me.

Ghost: Besides, I'm not a dick. I'm a ghost.

Soap: lol

Soap: did u just make a joke?

Ghost: I suppose I did.

Soap: nice. maybe i'll forgive u

Ghost: For what?

Soap: stealing a phone

Ghost: Stealing a phone that I found on a public bathroom sink.

Ghost: The same phone that is currently being used to annoy the hell out of me.

Soap: karma is a bitch

Ghost: Is it?

Ghost: Or are you a bitch?

Ghost: maybe both.

Ghost: Sounds like it.

Soap: i'm gonna text u every day.

Ghost: I don't even know your name.

Soap: john mactavish. they call me soap tho.

Ghost: Soap.

Soap: yea

Ghost: Your name is John, and people call you Soap. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Soap: i've heard worse

Ghost: I believe it.

Ghost: How the hell do you get Soap from John, though?

Soap: u could just call me john

Ghost: I will never call you John.

Soap: k

Ghost: Ever.

Soap: nice talk.

Ghost: Don't text me anymore.

Soap: they call me soap bc i clean up real nice

Ghost: I thought we agreed you wouldn't text me.

Soap: oh did we? i don't remember that

Ghost: I hate you.

Soap: <3

Ghost: Was that an emoji? Never do that again.

Soap: but rlly. the reason i'm called soap is bc i set some kind of record time clearing a warehouse in basic and it just kind of stuck

Ghost: Why are you telling me this?

Soap: to help u sleep at night

Ghost: It will not.

Soap: what kind of name is ghost anyway?

Ghost: Not important.

Soap: i've seen some of the guys around here. they aren't ghosts

Ghost: That's the point.

Soap: i bet you have a boring ass name like timothy

Ghost: Don't be ridiculous.

Soap: markus

Ghost: No.

Soap: paul

Ghost: I'm going to block this number.

Soap: okay okay, sorry

Soap: can i call u smthn normal like dave

Ghost: You're not even close.

Soap: damn

Soap: what do i get if i guess it right

Ghost: Absolutely nothing.

Soap: i'm not gonna stop guessing til u give me smthn

Ghost: How about you stop texting me and I won't kill you.

Soap: no ur a nice guy. u wouldn't do that

Ghost: Try me.

Soap: fine, i'll leave u alone for a day

Ghost: A week.

Soap: two days.

Ghost: Four days.

Soap: three

Ghost: Three days and a photo.

Soap: what?

Ghost: A photo of you. 

Soap: why?

Ghost: I want to see what you look like.

Soap: why didn't u ask before

Ghost: Because I didn't care before.

Soap: send me a picture of u first

Ghost: No.

Soap: i'll think about it if u do

Ghost: I won't.

Soap: i'll take a bad picture.

Ghost: Why do you have a bad picture of yourself?

Soap: for situations just like this

Ghost: Okay.

Soap: u send one first.

Ghost: No.

Soap: i have pics of u already.

Ghost: What?!

Soap: lol

Soap: not really

Ghost: Don't fucking do that.

Soap: don't threaten to kill me

Ghost: Don't scare me.

Soap: ur not very good at this, are u?

Ghost: At what?

Soap: talking to people

Ghost: It doesn't seem to matter. You're still talking to me.

Soap: i guess it's a gift.

Soap: what would u do if i sent u a pic of myself

Ghost: Nothing.

Soap: that's a lie. u would look at it. perhaps save it to ur camera roll

Ghost: What do you want from me?

Soap: i wanna be friends

Ghost: Why?

Soap: u seem lonely

Ghost: I'm not.

Soap: u can keep telling me u hate me but i know that u don't

Ghost: I don't hate you.

Soap: so u like me?

Ghost: No.

Soap: we r gonna be the best of friends

Ghost: No, we aren't.

Ghost: Send me the picture.

Soap:

Soap: there. i cropped it so u couldn’t dox me

Ghost: Nice try. But I'm not a civilian. And I'm not an idiot.

Soap: ur not a civilian?

Ghost: Fuck.

Ghost: Pretend you didn't read that.

Soap: only if u send me a selfie 

Ghost: This is extortion.

Soap: yup

Ghost: I don't have a photo.

Soap: then take a new one

Ghost: Fine. 

Soap: is that a skull mask? and skeleton gloves? are u sure ur not an edgy teenager under there?

Ghost: Just shut up.

Soap: this is great. can i post this on instagram

Ghost: No.

Soap: can i show my roommates

Ghost: No.

Soap: ok, can i save it for blackmail purposes

Ghost: I would prefer it if you didn't.

Soap: too late

Soap: i didn’t think u had brown eyes

Ghost: You have an unfortunate beard.

Soap: what does that even mean?

Ghost: Exactly what it sounds like.

Soap: fuck off. ur a beanie baby.

Ghost: ?

Soap: a beanie baby. theyre like those little stuffed animals and u collect them. except, yk, a beanie baby

Ghost: I know what a beanie baby is. Why did you call me one?

Soap: ur just a little soft, squishy man

Ghost: Fuck you.

Soap: :)

Soap: did u know there are beanie babies of real people?

Ghost: What the fuck are you talking about?

Soap: i'm at walmart and i saw this miley cyrus beanie baby

Ghost: Miley Cyrus is not real.

Soap: they're called limited editions. u gotta collect them all

Soap: wait what do u mean miley cyrus isn’t real

Ghost: I mean that Miley Cyrus is an illusion. A fabricated idea created by a corrupt government and sold to the public. An industry plant to poison the minds of the youth. 

Ghost: But now you've ruined the surprise, and her secret is out. 

Soap: omg

Soap: i thought her secret was hannah montana

Ghost: You know nothing, Soap.

Soap: i can't believe you broke into gaz's phone, stole it, and now u won't tell me ur name

Soap: and yet u just tried to gaslight me into thinking miley cyrus isn't real

Ghost: I would have gotten away with it, too, if not for you meddling kids.

Soap: are u even a real person

Ghost: I have a question for you, Soap.

Soap: yeah

Ghost: Why haven't you reported this stolen phone to your authorities?

Soap: it's not that big of a deal. gaz has another phone. i think he just liked this one better

Ghost: And what about me?

Soap: what about u?

Ghost: How do you know I'm not a terrorist who is using the phone to spy on the military or steal secrets?

Soap: u don't seem like a terrorist

Ghost: Thanks.

Soap: and besides, u couldn't have stolen that many secrets if u didn't know miley cyrus is real

Ghost: I could.

Soap: how do u even use a phone with skeleton gloves on?

Ghost: With difficulty.

Soap: that helmet makes u look stupid

Ghost: Says the guy with the worst beard I've ever seen.

Soap: i'll have u know i've been told it makes me look handsome

Ghost: By who? Yourself?

Soap: well now i am not telling

Soap:

Ghost: I bet it was a mirror.

Soap: i would say i'd block u, but we both know i won't

Ghost: That's fine. We both know I won't give you the phone back.

Soap: that's true.

Soap: did u know gaz has a lot of games on his phone

Ghost: Like what?

Soap: the entire clash of clans series. a few versions of candy crush. and something called lovehoney. not sure what that one is.

Ghost: Are you sure about that, Soap?

Soap: ?

Ghost: Have you actually played LoveHoney?

Soap: no, it says its rated m

Ghost: I thought you said you were a grown ass man?

Soap: i can't play a rated m game without supervision

Ghost: Oh, really?

Ghost: Do you want supervision?

Soap: from who? u?

Ghost: Maybe.

Soap: u should come visit us sometime. we can play clash of clans together

Ghost: I'd rather stab myself.

Soap: :(

Ghost: Why do you keep using emojis?

Soap: to convey emotion

Ghost: But there are words for emotions.

Soap: u should try it

Ghost: Why would I do that when I have a mask and a helmet to hide my face?

Soap: why do u hide ur face anyway? are u ugly?

Ghost: Quite the opposite.

Soap: oh so ur pretty

Ghost: I don't see how that matters.

Soap: ur face matters a lot if it's the only thing u can see when u look at someone

Ghost: Then look elsewhere.

Soap: can't. the rest of u is covered up

Ghost: If you're lucky, you'll never have to see the rest of me.

Soap: if u were here i could prove to u that ur a real person

Ghost: Is that so?

Soap: yes. i would hold ur hand

Ghost: Gross.

Soap: maybe even hug u

Ghost: Definitely gross.

Soap: i'm a very affectionate person

Ghost: That's unfortunate.

Soap: i can be anything u want me to be

Ghost: Not interested.

Soap: ok fine, i can be anything u aren't

Ghost: Good luck with that.

Soap: do u always text like ur writing a report

Ghost: Yes.

Soap: it's boring

Ghost: You are boring.

Soap: and yet u keep replying

Ghost: I don't know why.

Soap: maybe bc we r friends

Ghost: That's not why.

Soap: yes it is.

Ghost:

Soap: is that a dog

Ghost: It's a German Shepard.

Soap: i hate dogs.

Ghost: I thought you might.

Soap: why

Ghost: They remind me of you.

Soap: hahaha

Ghost: They are loyal and dumb and kind of cute.

Soap: omg

Ghost: But also aggressive and loud and have terrible breath.

Soap: did u just call me cute

Ghost: I did.

Soap: are u drunk?

Ghost: No.

Ghost: Maybe.

Soap: do u always get drunk and text random guys on stolen phones?

Ghost: It's the only way I can talk to anyone.

Soap: why

Ghost: Because no one wants to get close to a ghost.

Soap: that was so dramatic

Ghost: So is your fucking beard.

Soap: it's a fashion statement

Ghost: It's ugly.

Soap: and what, ur face is too pretty for the world?

Ghost: Exactly.

Soap: if u weren't a stranger, i'd probably be a little offended

Ghost: We're not strangers.

Soap: not really, i guess. but u don't know anything about me

Ghost: I know your name.

Ghost: I know your rank.

Ghost: I know you work for an unspecified organization.

Ghost: I know you're a complete idiot.

Soap: hey!

Ghost: I know you like jelly beans.

Ghost: I know you're not as much of an asshole as I thought you were.

Ghost: And I know I like talking to you.

Soap: i like talking to u too. even if u insult me every chance u get

Ghost: It's because you're an easy target.

Soap: u are literally the least charming person i have ever met

Ghost: Thank you. to be continued - subscribe on ao3 for next chapters :3

[thatdeadaquarius]

*casually slides into asks*

The Creator having to be taught the language of Teyvat, except they don't realise that each country has their own seperate language and so they are just mixing and matching phrases from each of the languages and no one has any idea what they are saying

*slides back out of asks*

Hello hello my regular customer 💃

Before u slide out, have a cookie for the road! 🤲🍪

Ok but this would actually happen to me

Im partial to the headcanon that theres a trade language in Teyvat, but each country has their own native language, w/sub-dialects too (i think thats the word?)

Just like what u said basically, bc like what if they dont have the trade one 💀 it rlly is just diff languages and im just over here like 😃🗨👋

(Gif is u in the center trying to talk to other people on the sides lol)

Srry if uncreative or kinda a flop i am not a fountain of ideas as much as i wish to be😔🙏

This may be only funny to me...

But i did my bestest for you beloved regular <3

Also u didnt ask for this but u got it anyway LMAO <3

(sorry if i accidentally start callin u xiao pfp i couldnt find a name to call u by)

Ok but like?? Was anybody gonna tell you???

Or like r u so incomprehensible now bc youve mashed all their lingos together that they dont even recognize any of their languages anymore 😭😭???

Yall ever heard that meme sound that has like music playing in the background and its just a loop of a guy saying "..HuH?..HuH?...HuH?"

^^^Everyone else trying to understand you

..

...

.....?

WAIT A MINUTE ?!%

OH GOD OH NO PLEASEEDA@!?

I HAD THE WORST THOUGHTTT!!!!

DO U JUST SOUND LIKE A SIM TO THEM??!!!

😰😰😰😰🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲💀💀💀

CRYINGSOBBING

I CANNOT ESCAPE THIS INTRUSIVE THOUGHT PLEASE NOOOOO JDIOOALLFJSLAFQ

IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING ANDBCRINGING PLEASE -> GOD WALKS AROUND SOUNDING LIKE A SIM TO THE REST OF TEYVAT STOP

♧

Ok but so many people r trying so hard to teach u their language more fully so u can commit to one at least

(Off the top of head, Thoma, Tighnari but if u keep mixing them more and more even on accident he gets too frustrated and accepts it lmao, Amber, Ningguang she wants ur first teyvat lang. to be Liyuean so bad, Kazuha just wants to genuinely understand u and you understand them aw what a sweetheart, Ei once again a person who wants u to learn Inazuman first lol, Zhongli, Jean, Ganyu, Alhaitham but he'd be a terrible teacher i can see it now, Ayato, Ayaka, Gorou, Yae Miko just so u can actually read her novels abt you + have bragging right lol)

..

...Its not really working

Which makes sense tbh, at least to me, bc i sure as fuck couldnt initially hear a big difference between Portugese v. Spanish, Korean v. Japanese etc.

Until i like, kept hearing it over and over and finally got it

(it was easier to differentiate between them on paper than auditorily?? auditorally?!? aUDITORIALLY??!! GODAMMIT IS THAT EVEN A WORD)

.

But I could totally see their languages just all sounding really similar to you, or like, theres some bits and pieces from each lang. that mimic others (pantalones Spanish = pants English for example, and its like all u catch are the "pant" sound so ur like?? Ok so same language right? Hence the mix and match)

♤

So this happens on the daily these days,

U r still going and seeing people,

But nobody has managed to communicate to you that its all different languages lol 🤭

Like this below, happens all the time ⬇️

.

Ur having dinner w/ Kamisato clan bc ofc they wanna welcome u!! :D

And Thoma's there, and yall r at the Teahouse, Thoma just got out the hotpot (oh god🤢 ...wait is that you now, r u just like Venti saying oh Barbatos...?)

And they just started dinner but its already a problem w/ur ass LMAO

.

Thoma: "What do you want to drink Our God?"

You: "Ahfs kal aldsplease give me ahdhai?"

Thomas face just like "...😶🙁 oh no" HAHA

Ayaka trying to help him,

"Please repeat that Your Grace?" 😅

You, again lol: "I would dhkaied that aifjwe please :)"

U sound like a SIMMM TO THEMM 😭😭

.

Utter fail poor Ayaka is at a loss for once,

they're trying so hard to be polite and you havent even gotten a drink yet let alone the meal lmao,

Poor Thoma is struggling, hes just like,

"Um, uh, this one??" All worried bc now hes gotta point to the pitchers one by one until u either point or nod

AND THE REST OF THE DINNER IS JUST THAT SITUATION OVER AND OVER

U give up and just start nodding or pointing for food or napkins or drinks all like, "Oh wow my accent must be heavy today 😀🤷‍♂️"

Absolutely clueless, and they cant even figure out how to tell u lol

...

Oh god i dont wanna think about the chaos if ur also only understanding the basics of every language so not only do they not get all ur words, u dont get theirs 💀

Reminder :D = I have a ✨️poll for 100 follower celebration!✨️Yall get to choose what u wanna see me write about,✨️ Check it out!! :) ♡✨️

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds:

@karmawonders

(Feel free to tell me if u ever dont wanna be tagged anymore i wont be mad/offended :] !! )

[gojokinni]

DAZAI ANALYSIS

Ok, so I actually thought a lot about posting something like this, because it would mean revealing a lot of personal stuff about me... However I felt like sharing my vision on Dazai, my favorite character, someone I relate to so much it hurts...

To start this character analysis, I'm actually going to analyze myself. Today I know that I am a deeply disturbed person, since I was in primary school and maybe before I was obsessed with sexual relations, I have no idea why, and to this day I don't know where it came from. All I know is that it led me to possess sexual trauma due to some "experiences" ( no r*pe, or pedophilia). One thing is sure,if I had to take my phone back in a hospital, I'd definitely be able to have a s*xual relationship for it.

I also have a severe lack of empathy. Which is weird since I'm a true emotional sponge... I will not understand how you feel, will not know how to comfort you, will not relate or put myself in your shoes. All of that is tiring to me, weird, I simply don't get it.

I was also probably one of the worst bully to ever exist, not physically but verbally. I never treated my "friends" fairly , was always bossy and mean. And you know what's the worst ? It's that I never realized it, not in the sense that I was young and didn't know better, but more like someone took over and talked instead of me. As if I was protecting myself. It made many people hate me and no matter what I do it'll always be like that.

Today, I have only 2 or 3 people I seem to genuinely care about and even then I really doubt they'd stay. I never really showed them who I was, always hiding behind sarcasm and self depreciating jokes.

Basically, I'm a weird mix between pragmatic and emotional. I can't function in society and will probably never be able to. Isolation, and solitude are what I dream of, not because I love these but because I can't seem to deal with others... Many would say I'm a psycho. I think I am.

That's where I relate to Dazai. I'm not a killer, I never tortured anyone, and while I was probably abusive mentally, I was never physically. However I get how he acts. Not having any morals, to be like a virus, someone so different from others that you could never integrate. You still try, because of diverse reasons, but even then you feel like it's not where you should really be.

Nobody knows who you are, firstly because you've always hidden yourself behind a different persona, but most importantly because you don't know yourself who you are. Everyday that passes, you feel empty, devoid of any things that make people's life interesting and bright.

Every time I see a rant post about how Dazai is a monster, it really makes me wanna cry, hide myself in my bed and never get out. Because it's me. Things are not as easy as :" oh he's a psycho, bad bad person". It's not that easy to act accordingly as everyone wants when you don't get it. I know that I could never come up to my ex-friends, look at them and say I'm sorry, just like how Dazai will never look at Akutagawa and say I'm sorry. Not because I'm heartless but because it won't get out. Even though I'm strong at lying, manipulating, even though I do that every day.

It's frustrating to not know who you are. To be a monster in everybody's eyes and even yours. Guess what, I'm deeply, disturbed, probably mentally ill, many would call me broken, and I already do it. I love Dazai, would defend him till the end of my life. He's my favorite character. Why ?

Because he's me.

[quirkle2]

PLEASE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE LEGENDS ARCEUS AU I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT IT <- LYING I AM NOT NORMAL

HI WE'LL BOTH BE NORMAL TOGETHER

(uhm warning for injury/blood/whump, parental death, uhhhhhhhhh fire? a lot happens (also idk if the read more thing has been fixed so let's pray. i refuse to smack these long ass paragraphs in front of innocent bystanders (this is so long. im so sorry)))

ok so reigen is the professor of the galaxy expedition team and u may be wondering how he got that job: lying :)! he claims he knows everything abt pokemon and that he's been studying them his whole life when in reality he's not even totally sure how many pkmn types there are. granted, the rest of the team doesn't either, so his ability to bluff himself out of any given situation is massively helped by their cluelessness

he just wants to sleep in a bed with blankets and eat food to survive and lying into the professor position was the quickest way he saw to get there. he'd been wandering in the wilderness for a while since coming to hisui before that and it kinda sucked. bro just wants a house in this crippling economy

mob n ritsu were originally from another village! they don't meet reigen until mob is 9 (ritsu 8). there's no powers in this au but mob's whole shtick is that he takes the,, extreme pacifist route i guess? he thinks pokemon r to be respected and loved and Not Bothered and he's against the use of pokeballs to store them and commanding them to battle each other, etc. essentially if he were in a modern era he'd think the way present-time people treat pkmn is, for the most part, cruel

anyway their hometown gets attacked by pkmn and the village is destroyed. their parents die protecting them, so 9-year-old mob was left to fend for himself n his little brother alone. they travel together kinda aimlessly for 7ish months until they get remarkably (unknowingly) close to jubilife village and come across that giant fuckin rapidash before the bridge

it's their first alpha pkmn encounter. neither of them have pkmn to defend themselves with (mob's reason: he ain't like that. ritsu's reason: He Is Eight and Scared). mob has always been able to empathize w pkmn a lot and sorta get a read on what they're thinking, so the vibes comin off that rapidash were rancid and he was worried abt it. mob has never been afraid of pkmn, not even the rly big and scary looking ones. so he approaches it with the intention of calming it down, seeing what's hurting it. he makes ritsu stay back in case things go bad

he's kicked in the head. if u forgot how big that rapidash is just google it. the hooves r the size of ur player character's head and ur player character is like 15. mob is 9. the fact that he doesn't die immediately upon impact is a miracle. the fact that he survives longer than 5 seconds after the fact is basically divine intervention

the doodle i made in the top left corner of ritsu screaming is this ^ encounter. he watches it happen, and then watches in horror more as the rapidash panics at ritsu's scream and rolls a flame wheel over his brother's limp form. ritsu manages to dive for him and run, but the kid is thoroughly terrified and traumatized

i'll spare u the horrid bits but long story short ritsu finds a cave to settle in and while he's rly inexperienced with medical treatment he does his best. his best isn't very good in the grand scheme of things but him being 8 is a pretty damn good excuse. he camps out there for Three Whole Days waiting for his brother to wake up or respond to literally anything but it isn't happening and the longer this goes on for the more terrified ritsu gets

mob's taught him how to survive pretty well all things considered, but ritsu is a lot more worried abt mob than taking care of himself and he ends up neglecting his own needs pretty fiercely. he feels too sick w guilt/fear to eat. he tries to stay up as long as he can in case mob stirs. by the end of it he's pretty worse for wear too

reigen finds them while out in the field doing research (wasting time). he sees a little kid half stuck in a bush looking for berries and when reigen tries to get his attention ritsu, who is extremely on edge and sleep deprived and scared, just straight up screams at him. reigen sees his dirty clothes and skinny arms and flushed face (fever. definitely fever) and alarm bells ring in his head to not let the kid go no matter what cuz he Will lose him otherwise

once ritsu gets his bearings and realizes this is a human (first one other than mob he's seen in forever) and not a pokemon coming to kill him he starts crying to him abt his brother and reigen feels his heart drop to his stomach bc if This kid is worried about a brother who is supposedly worse off,,, dear god

ritsu leads reigen to mob. the dressings around his arm where he was burnt are completely incorrect and most definitely horribly infected and ritsu didn't rly do Anything for the head injury other than clean the blood away bc well. again. he's 8. idek if eight year olds know what concussions are

reigen BOOKS it back to jubilife faster than he's ever ran and halfway through he realizes ritsu has passed out in his arms too (kid's probably exhausted beyond belief. reigen has no idea how long they've been like this but he guesses a while) everybody in the village is kinda horrified when the professor comes back with two hurt kids, one of which is on death's door. the medical team there does everything they can

it takes a while for mob to wake up, but thankfully he does in the end. reigen finds out thru ritsu that they've been alone for "a long time" (ritsu doesn't know. doesn't rly remember. reigen asks mob when he wakes up and mob says he stopped counting somewhere after day 140)

even though mob still isn't quite back to his old self and is still generally confused and Slightly Off, the doctors say he'll be okay after a few weeks and reigen has unintentionally gotten very attached to these kids. ritsu had told him their parents died during the attack on their village. they have nowhere else to go, and like hell is Any member of this village gonna be happy with simply throwing them out into the wilderness again. so reigen takes them in

anyway that's how they meet <3 GVEYAI mob is back to his normal self (the occasional Moment of Confusion comes around from the brain injury, but they taper off after a while) and reigen is very much surprised to see that mob, as ritsu has described to him, still very much loves every pkmn he comes across. he gets a bit nervous around rapidashes in particular, but other than that, mob is still just as caring and just as respectful as ritsu described him to be. ritsu is scared of bigger pkmn like any other kid is. mob is an exception, even after that experience.

reigen waits about a year so that they have time to settle and recover (and so that he has time to observe), and then he gives them each a pokemon. this might seem odd, but mob has never expressed any ill will toward Any pkmn, and ritsu still smiles at the smaller ones

he gives them a choice between the pla starters that have been hanging around his office. mob picks cyndaquil and names her cindy. ritsu picks rowlet and doesn't name him at all (this gives reigen pause, but ritsu seems to have a new fire in his eyes, so he brushes the worry away)

when they're of age (mob waits for ritsu to reach 13. they do everything together) they both join the survery corps, and mob ends up becoming reigen's assistant :]! reigen is admittedly a little worried abt this development, about his kids going out into the wild, but they both seem ready for it (ritsu seems ... a little Too ready for it considering his past) so he relents

mob has made his opinions about pkmn clear, especially to reigen, and reigen has ended up adopting some of his ideals since he met him bc they,, well thwy sound reasonable. they sound nice. mob doesn't ever put cindy in a pokeball, and cindy had never once been in a battle other than play fights with rowlet. mob treats cindy like any other normal pet, like a friend. he looks at those boxes of pokeballs in reigen's office with a frown. he finds the idea of fighting pkmn in the wild for sport despicable. he openly scratches out the pokedex tasks like "defeat 10 times" with disdain. reigen starts seeing another world that he never rly considered before, with mob

this is where reigen senses some,,, tension, between the boys. ritsu evolves his rowlet into a dartrix remarkably quickly since joining the survey corps, and not even a few weeks later he's a got decidueye on his side. ritsu catches pokemon left and right and if they're "not strong enough" he keeps them in pokeballs until he remembers they exist again. he works on building a team with no weaknesses, or as few weaknesses as possible. bro invents competitive pkmn

obviously, mob sees this and ,,, doesn't like it. he doesn't like how Distant ritsu is with his pokemon, with creatures that he wholeheartedly believes should be treated as friends or family. he doesn't name any of them, he spends nearly all his earned money from the survey corps on items that boost their strength, but almost no money toward items for comfort, or even treats, or toys. ritsu treats his team like they're tools. the relationship between ritsu and his pkmn is,, strained. mob can sense they aren't nearly as happy as they could be

but mob knows that he can't just,, police ritsu on how he should handle his own pokemon. he may not agree with how ritsu approaches the subject, or with how ritsu's first instinct for anything pkmn is usually "fight it," but mob knows ritsu Does like pkmn. ritsu's never hated pkmn, he's just,,, scared of them, sometimes. he thinks maybe this is his way of making himself feel protected. mob doesn't like the idea of taking that away from him, no matter how much seeing ritsu refrain from giving his team a break grinds on his soul

little does he know, ritsu's strictness with his pkmn isn't born out of a fear for himself at all. he's building a dependable team to protect his brother. that's the whole reason he's doing this, the whole reason he didn't name rowlet when he first got him. ritsu knew that if he were to do this, he couldn't get attached to them, bc losing pokemon in fights is a very real possibility. it's been drilled into each and every one of his pkmn's heads that they r to protect mob at all costs. if there's a repeat of That incident, ritsu doesn't think he can handle it (>:])

WOW THIS IS ALREADY SO LONG i haven't even gotten to the kleavor part yet. fuck. if ur still reading this can i have ur hand in marriage /silly

OKAY SO . The Game's Plot comes in, finally. took long enough. reigen starts getting reports of frenzied nobles and he's most worried abt kleavor bc it's rather close to them, and the village could very well be in danger if kleavor decides to say fuck you in particular. so reigen goes Hey This is an Actual Threat That Needs My Attention I Have to be Competent For a Sec and spends the next few weeks tirelessly searching for an answer for this kleavor. some of the staff have already gotten mauled by it. reigen cannot ignore this and put it on somebody else like he usually does

the whole town is getting antsy, and mob most definitely notices. ritsu's jumpy all the time anymore, like he expects kleavor to rampage through the streets any second now. reigen looks tired and worn down, and he's been coming home later and later. mob watches as reigen makes plans to use force against kleavor with a sour taste in his mouth. he tries to tell reigen that force isn't the answer here. reigen, bless him, doesn't know how to tell a kid that friendship and rainbows isn't always the answer

after another week or so, mob's had enough. they've gotten nowhere closer to calming kleavor and more people have gotten injured, so mob quietly writes a note and leaves it on his bed, makes sure he doesn't wake up ritsu or cindy, and leaves the house before reigen comes home. he sneaks out over the fence so the guards at the gate don't catch him. he sets off to go see kleavor

he fully and truly believes that force is not the answer. he fully and truly believes that if he goes up to kleavor with no pokemon to fight it with, no weapons or spears pointed at it, and just a calm voice and peaceful demeanor, kleavor will see there is no danger. the galaxy team's previous attempts have all centered around violence and scare tactics. nobody has recently come up to its territory without posing a threat. mob genuinely just thinks that kleavor needs calm

reigen finds the note. freaks the fuck out. immediately rounds up every person in the village that's capable of fighting and they march out of the village to save a kid who's in way over his head. reigen makes ritsu Promise him that he will not leave the village. he can see it in ritsu's eyes, the way he wants nothing more than the come with them, but reigen gives the argument that ritsu is their strongest soldier back home and they still need to protect the village from anything else while everybody's gone. it takes all of ritsu's self-control to not go against him (he's fully set on coming with them until reigen Grips him by the arms and says "i can't lose both of you.")

mob's plan does end up working in the end, but not quite perfectly and not at all in a good way. he steps into kleavor's territory and has it calm at first, but smth changes in kleavor's eyes and whatever Force that's corrupting it surges and kleavor snaps.

mob gets Fucked Up by that thing. sliced and thrown and clawed until he can barely stand up to run away, but it's the last blow that matters. kleavor comes down on him with a chop right to his middle and everything stops. there's a sizeable gash that cuts through mob's side horizontally and kleavor's axe is stuck in the flesh there, but once mob isn't moving anymore and nothing is making kleavor afraid, the fog in its brain clears and it sees what it's done

it also sees that mob is still awake, and despite everything kleavor did to him, he's still looking at it like he knows its capacity for gentleness. even through the pain mob looks at kleavor like he Knows this isn't what it's rly like. and as soon as mob sees the light return to kleavor's eyes he smiles, blood gurgling in his throat

kleavor hears shouts from the forest, sees torchlight and panicked yells for mob. it doesn't know what to do, don't like what it sees, what it Did to this poor kid. it winces when it has to slide its axe out from the gash in mob's side—the squelch it makes and the Noise mob lets out is the last thing kleavor needs to book it

u can only imagine how fuckin hysterical reigen feels when he sees mob on the ground like that. they brought half of the medical team just in case and reigen is rly glad they did bc if they didn't there's a good chance mob would've bled out right there within a few minutes.

he's in rly rly bad shape and is barely conscious by the time reigen grabs his face and tells him itll be okay. they bring him back to the village at record pace and every minute they take he looks paler. reigen is so scared the kid's going to die in his arms before they even get there

when they get to the gates someone from the medical team takes him from reigen's arms. reigen hears ritsu scream. the kid's shoving people away who're trying to comfort him and beelining his way to mob, but reigen catches him before he can fully see the damage bc he does Not want that bloody mess to be in ritsu's nightmares for the rest of his life

ritsu fights him and pushes him and shoves him away, screaming that he just wants to see his brother, but reigen holds him back and he ends up pulling ritsu close when the kid loses steam and just starts sobbing into his chest

to ritsu, he's failed again. to reigen, he's failed them both. to mob, despite holding onto the living world by a thread, he succeeded.

anyway that's the story so far VGEAYVUA I HAVEN'T .. FIGURED OUT TERU YET. or dimple. i know the gist of i how i want teru and mob's meeting to go tho. teru is just like ritsu but like . Worse when it comes to pokemon. uses them as tools and doesn't even rly think of them as sentient at all. until he meets mob that is :]

i'm thinkin he's the warden of sneasler! and yaknow what, just for shits n giggles and bc i love ingo too much to get rid of him, what if ingo is teru's unofficial teacher. what if. wouldn't that be fuckin hilarious and completely ruin any sense of consistency here. what if (it's happening)

i'm also pretty set on making dimple one of the wisps from the spiritomb quest that ends up following mob around. that's fitting i think

[tomboyyyaoi]

SOOOOO many more thoughts than last week ok

how much time has passed since ww's experimentation? i like the idea of him not ageing faster but just ageing to a certain point and continuing from there? or ageing to a certain point then being stuck like that? but bc the time is indeterminate and we dont know how old he was when he was sent off (kinda like the manga) im gnna keep assuming hes an adult and not caring♡ not my problem♡ also of we take the fact rollos whole thing was 20 years ago and the doctor still looked the same in both wolfwoods and rollos flashbacks then??? idk, im not jumping to anything yet, the time is still uncertain just like it was in the manga and honestly? thats fine by me im absolutely smelling an age discourse revival and i will be killing myself im abt to be so brutal with blocking new fans i can tell

nick been smoking that zaza since he was fresh out the womb

livio and nicks relationship. im bawling. they r brothers. im on the floor...

legato giving me mean twink vibes for this version im actually loving it hes such a petty insecure bitch "dont talk about my hair" *breaks nicks spine* LMAO i love him, he made me giggle, i love a petty gay villain whos genuinely a threat

meryl REFUSING to let the investigation go. her boss is like "its getting a little too dangerous for us we better scoot back 2 office" n shes NOT having it, her reckless driving and complete dismissal of whatever rob says, i love u queen

THE BACKSTORY SEQUENCES and wolfwoods hallucinations were animated so beautifully... omg.

not enough of livio yet to get a read on his characterisation but. please be a little similar to the manga at least. please.

lil nick n livio r so cute. they r so little. putting them in the blender.

rob couldve entirely been like "no meryl we need to go back" but the fact he still let her drive and still let her pursue the steamer with his only protests being stern warnings tells me hes a little curious to know what the fuck vashs deal is

wolfwood and vash absolutely fucking screaming at eachother. couples quarrel♡

i am SO excited for BDN next week

seems that the gung ho guns are basically blended with the eye of michael at this point, it did click they havent been calling them the gung ho guns so i assume they just. merged them together. pretty cool, not a bad choice

vash being quite cold toward meryl n rob, his honestly really mean response to wolfwood calling them his buddies stabbed me in the heart a bit, but is that a coping mechanism for him to not get attatched or is it an actual effect of him forcing himself to detatch from people so its easier to leave them. ouu. it hurted me a little. it did. EVEN WOLFWOOD CALLED HIM COLD FOR IT AND HE JUST KILLED A MAN LIKE. YESTERDAY

ok thats all i can think of rn gnna go watch the ep again see u all next week

[jaejoongs-nipple-piercing]

A Cozy Autumn Date

@emeraldbabygirl

He had been monitoring the weather forecasts for the last couple weeks to make sure everything was perfect. It had to be. Your date was something very special to him and he wanted you both to be able to look back and cherish it.

So when he finally saw the day in the forecast that would be absolutely perfect, he started getting things set up. Which was a little hard to do in between his daily fights against the other school gangs, but this was something important that just had to be done.

He called up a few places for food catering and dining out, just for price ranges and locations, options-that sort of thing. He called to find a very specific type of flower bouquet and since it was a seasonal kind they always sold out quickly. Upset that nobody had any left over, he decided he would make you one from scratch, hoping that even though it wasn’t store-bought you would at least like it a little.

Finally finding a place that was still open on October 31st proved more difficult then he thought.

“People really like going on Halloween dates? Maybe I’ll keep that in mind.”

After about a week he found one. He gave the owner all the information that was asked for and he asked about the location, directions (since he was never really sure how to get to these places), and time slots. Picking the second-to-last slot, he thanked the owner many times.

“No problem, young man. I hope you enjoy your date.”

Then disaster struck: the week of your date everything was suddenly closed and unavailable. And it was showing rain all week.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Smoky fell to his knees in anguish. Your date was ruined.

“What’s up with you?” Fujio asked, walking into the room.

Smoky just glared at him.

“YOU!!”

Fujio stepped back, startled.

“H-hey bro, I-I-I didn’t do anything. I didn’t hit you, r-right? C-c-calm d-down.”

Fujio backed up so far he hit the wall, now Smoky was right in his face.

“You’re going to help me with my date since the weather ruined my plan. Got it?”

“Okay..?”

“Good! Now here’s what you have to do. Get some people from Oya and Murayama, oh and Rao too, and…”

October 31st, at the break of dawn, everyone was gathered in the gym they fought Senomon in, working out the details of this date.

“Ok, so I know we’d rather be fighting each other, but I really need your help. As you know, it’s soaking wet out which put a damper on my date plans and everything was suddenly closed up. So I need you guys to do some behind-the-scenes magic for me to make this a great date. If everything goes well, I’ll hold off on beating you guys for a month.”

“So what do we do?”

“Ah, Todoroki and Odejima! Ok I need you guys to go get these things for a pretty fall bouquet since everyone ran out.”

“What am I doing here, again?”

“Murayama, you are Mr.Muscle. I need you to drive the tractor. But please go slow- it’s supposed to be a nice date, not a car race.”

Murayama scowled, but nodded his head in acceptance.

Fujio and Rao were already off setting up a cute little corn maze and a pumpkin-lined path for the tractor. Murayama came over to help put a canopy up over the cart the tractor would be pulling. When Odejima and Todoroki finished with the bouquet assembly they helped Smoky put some hay bales into the cart for the two of you to sit on.

“Now we wait. Meet me here in 2 hours.”

~~~~~~

Your boyfriend Smoky hadn’t contacted you in a few days, so when he finally did you asked him what was happening. Did he get hurt real bad in a fight this time?

“No, no I’m fine. Hey do me a favor, will ya? Put on a cute outfit, maybe bring a light jacket or a sweater, and meet me outside. I’m gonna take you somewhere you’ll like.”

You smiled. “Ok, I’ll be right down.”

Hanging up and charging your phone for a little bit, you go to look for an outfit.

Urgh!! I have nothing to wear! You groan, tearing apart your closet. You finally decided on a black corduroy jumper and a fuzzy lavender sweater, paired with some Bearpaw boots. You grab a windbreaker and unplug your phone, putting it into your jacket pocket. You want to look nice for Smoky so you put on a little makeup-mascara and some lip gloss is enough. You practically ran downstairs to the door, yelling your goodbyes to your pets as you left. You locked the door and ran to Smoky, flinging yourself into his arms.

“I missed you! Are you sure you’re ok?”

Smoky just chuckled, “Yeah, I’m great. Here, let’s get going,” he said, opening the passenger door of his 1975 Ford Bronco for you.

It didn’t take as long as either of you thought it would to get to the date place, and when you got to the parking lot Smoky told you to close you eyes.

“It’s a surprise, so you have to keep them closed. I’ll guide you there.”

You were surprised now. “Ok, then. Lead the way.”

You feel the hard ground under your boots, hear the leaves crunching a little through the water on top of them. There’s a faint smell of rain and something else you can’t quite place.

“Hey gimme a hint! Where are we?”

Smoky chuckled. “Not very patient, are we? You’ll see soon.”

He loved this about you, so sweet and always curious about things. And the way you cared so deeply about him.

The two of you stopped after a few more feet, and he warned you first before continuing.

“Ok, I need you to grab my neck. I’m going to lift you to the next part.”

Confused, you wrapped your arms gently around his neck, and the he proceeded to lift you princess-style into the cart. He came up shortly after, helping you to your feet. He walked you over to the hay bales, and gently helped you sit down on one.

“Why is this seat so prickly? Can I open my eyes now please?”

Smoky just about bursted from being so giddy.

“No, not yet. Almost.”

He reached over and flicked the fairy lights that Todoroki and Odejima had put up around the inside of the cart. Then he grabbed a lap blanket for the two of you. He sat down next to you and spread the blanket over your laps.

“Now.”

You opened your eyes and were absolutely amazed. What you saw before you was more than you could have asked for in a date from Smoky. You were in a cart in a pumpkin patch, with a corn maze and a path lined with pumpkins for the tractor to go through.

Smoky handed you the bouquet Todoroki and Odejima made, nervously.

“Do you like it? Is it ok for a late fall date?”

Your eyes were suddenly moist. You were so happy he put this much thought into your date.

“Yes, of course I like it. I love this idea so much!”

Smoky signaled to Murayama to start the tractor, but he didn’t.

“MURAYAMA!”

Still nothing.

“Murayama called in sick, he said he didn wanna see you guys bein all mushy gushy on each other.”

“Oh no.”

Murayama called in sick? Really? That could only mean one thing. He got Binzo to drive.

“Please tell me you know how to drive a tractor?!”

The tractor started, and you were surprised at how smooth it was. Then the driver turned around.

“I put off my date with Todoroki for this, so you owe me.”

“Odejima!! Hi, I’m glad to see you!”

Odejima. Odejima is driving. Ok, now you can relax.

Hours later after you went through the pumpkin patch and path, picked out a couple pumpkins to carve later, and got spooked in the corn maze, it was dark. You got up go jump down off the cart but Smoky was faster.

“Here, I’ll go first.”

Smoky jumped down from the cart and turned around. Spreading his arms like he wanted you to jump into them.

“Now you.”

Smoky stood there smiling, and since he had given you such a nice date and even got a lot of the boys to help, you decided to let him have this.

You jumped down into his arms, scared that you would fall. But he caught you, swinging you around.

“I know this wasn’t the best date, but I hope it was ok.”

“Smoky, I already said it was great. I loved it. I mean, a date in a pumpkin patch and all our friends came to help you out? That’s amazing. And I did catch glimpses of Fujio, Rao and Binzo so that was fun too.”

“BINZO WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME?!?”

Smoky was shocked.

“It’s fine, he only came in to see how we were doing. He didn’t want me to tell you until after and he said you promised no beatings for a month.”

“Grr, but he’s exempt. He didn’t help. So he gets the punishment.”

“Smoky, don’t ruin the date we had. I don’t think it’s over yet.”

Smoky looked at you, now he was the confused one. The date wasn’t over? Yes it was. This was all he had planned.

You walked toward Smoky, now you were nervous again.

“I want you to close your eyes, please.”

Smoky just looked at you, blinking.

“Smokyy! Please? I have something for you.”

Smoky reluctantly closed his eyes.

“Now put your hands out toward me, face up.”

He did, still confused. You put your hands in his, squeezing them so you had a good grip. Then you got on your toes (since he was a bit taller than you) and kissed him on the cheek. You got so embarrassed and you felt your cheeks heating up.

Smoky opened his eyes and saw you, beet red. He was also blushing-you had never kissed before so it was a first for both of you. He walked toward you and gently took your head in his hands, giving you a light peck on the forehead.

Both of you were still blushing when Smoky turned to you and said it was getting late.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

[thegeminisage]

as someone who wasn't around in 2014....can you tell me what it was like? (stucky) can you give me a taste of the gardens of babylon etc

what was it like...this is such a fun question i want you to know i gave serious thought to my answer and also discussed it at length with my 2014 friend last night and i know already it's gonna be so long. sorry that i answered your ask at fuck o clock in the morning i am scheduling it to go up later and also at the time you sent the ask in to make sure you see it

ok so like. i mean, you're on the fandom website, right, so i assume youve been in fandoms. idk if youve ever been in a really, REALLY big fandom, at the same time that said fandom was also producing content (even if the source material was not). think d*stiel post nov 5, or undert*le circa late 2015/early 2016, or z*lda after totk came out, or h*rry p*tter as the seventh book was being released. (i'm censoring to avoid a false positive of anybody's blacklist except in the case of the last one, which i am censoring out of <3 disrespect.) like there's something REALLY luxurious about being in ANY large and active fandom and it's mostly the power of crowdsourcing. st*r tr*k 2009's tarsus iv headcanons. the storm trooper lore re: the f*rce awakens before the second two movies came out. everyone just kind of agreeing that dean w*nchester was a teenage hooker. you know?

like, that's "just fanon," sure, but part of the beauty of it is that no one person makes up fanon, we all gather in the biggest writing group in the world and collectively go insane and bat ideas back and forth. there are a hundred THOUSAND fics about bucky barnes on ao3 and that's just the people who were writing, not even counting artists and gifmakers and meta-writers and people who just reblog stuff. i can't possibly begin to put an accurate number to how many people are in any given fandom at any given time, but imagine (on the low end, i'm sure) there are THOUSANDS, perhaps tens of thousands, of people going nuts about stevebucky at all times. tens of THOUSANDS people doing "yes and" with each other on the internet 24 hours a day seven days a week. it's just like being in any fandom, you log on to your dash and see what the mewchies posted while you were gone, but in a fandom so huge and so active you were getting bombarded with idea after idea after idea every single second, so if you don't like one you're spoiled for choice in what you engage with next. it didn't even matter that cap3 was two years away or that it sucked when it finally got here because we collectively wrote cap3 a million times over. like, genuinely, it was a mass creative exercise. it's the biggest writing group in the world. for better or worse, we were shaping our own version of that universe, without any input from or regard to the people who actually created the characters and movie, in a way that compelled most strongly to our own tastes and demographic.

what made this particular movie/fandom special though was a few things. firstly i still genuinely believe it was ahead of its time...marvel shit pre disney was allowed to be political in ways it is ABSOLUTELY not now. like, cap2 could say "the government is secretly full of nazis and they all need to burn" in 2014 two years before the 2016 election and 7 years before jan 6. like you just couldn't say that now. "war bad" is an oldie but goodie, but "our entire government is corrupt and needs to be torn into flaming pieces and cast into the potomac" is um. pretty radical. so is, by the way, "men as victims" and "men having emotions" etcetc. like, not in fandom, fandom all but invented that shit, but as far as dumb superhero movies go. i can't tell you the number of metas i read AND WROTE discussing steve rogers and masculinity and how all that was portrayed, intentionally or not, in that fucking film. i had entire separate universes built up in my head for steve who was born a cis girl and steve who decided later in life that "nonbinary" or "trans woman" was a better fit and then steve who was born as a cis boy and remained a man his whole life but felt weird and different ways about being queer which clashed with the weird and different ways BARNES felt about being queer. i'm not saying the film (or the fandom! good lord) was perfect, it was a product of its time, but it was also WAY ahead of its time too. it was weird to expect the next film to come out and actually, like, be good. it wasnt, but we fully believed it would be and that wasn't delusional behavior because the last one had been. i would never have that kind of faith in a marvel project now because they've been bought by disney.

oh yeah and that's the other thing too like. speaking of queer people. gay marriage wasn't legal in the US on a federal level until 2015, and you couldn't just flip on your TV and see them whenever you wanted. ten years doesn't seem like that long ago in the grand scheme of things but like, we lived on glee and cw/mtv queerbait (disclaimer that i personally only participated in cw queerbait) and that was it. we had crumbs. and like when people write gay characters theyre Just Gay, but if you decide to be crazy stupid in a slash fandom you can decide these layered characters are gay and that's even better rep than um whatever was going on in other pieces of media. these guys are both so lonely and out of step with time and lack other people with "shared life experiences" (girl what the hell was that) and their connection w each other keeps them afloat in a world that doesn't want them so like of COURSE it seems like it's supposed to be romantic. and like, i could and did make myself and my tumblr buds crrrazy (and got made crazy by them) thinking about:

how steve's size when small and again when big interacted w his gender identity and his sexuality and how that sexuality manifested. barnes's identity As A Man hinging on his ability to go to war for his country bc Thats What Men Did but now he's no longer fit because theres worms in his brain. loss of bodily autonomy which usually happens to women and natasha being later in that journey than steve and bucky are and so close to being at peace with it but not there yet. stigmatization of seeking treatment for mental health issues lessened by the presence of sam who could have been a Macho Tough Guy but actually gives off strong Talk About Our Feelings And Be Soft vibes. don't even get me started on the relationship (predatory) between steve and rumlow and how it parallels the one between barnes and pierce (and if any of you motherfuckers BREATHE a word of that h*dra tr*sh p*rty shit in my direction i will END you) and the stigma that comes from being preyed on when vulnerable As Men. steve's depression and ptsd and him getting triggered by, yes, the fucking ALS ice bucket challenge. the collective belief that he was conscious when he was frozen even though nobody said that so that he and barnes could have that in common too. the headcanon about barnes having roma heritage - shoutout to not easily conquered my beloved, and the 14k smut coda i wrote for it✌ speaking of smut, i would be remiss also not to mention there was a STRONG element of collective lust involved. i'm immune to 99% of it bc im ace but the winter soldier was uh. VERY graceful. you know? i didn't write 14k of porn because i was uncompelled. we were on one. we went fucking crazy. fandom in general but especially big fandoms have a kind of nonstop endless well of creative energy born from obsession that is the absolute envy of people like my mortal enemy grrm. we NEVER quit.

also, HISTORY (and other vaguely educational subjects). we were all so desperate to know how steve and bucky would have lived in the years we couldn't see them it sparked a sitewide interest in 1940s american history. there was a thing about bananas tasting different now because of a plague. m&ms being invented as wartime candy. stuff about how shoebox apartments looked and how rations worked. 1940s recipes and radio shows. the 1940s queer movement and how it interacted with ballroom dancing and private drag get-togethers. how amputations work and how prosthetic limbs work in real life so we could extrapolate it to fantasy. how to hand-draw that fucking arm in photoshop. why soldiers are trained to say their serial numbers when captured. what ww2 was like. what dog tags are for. what did they get in the ration packs. what brand of cigarettes did they smoke. what brand (and i am being so serious, i STILL own a tube) of LIPSTICK did peggy carter use. caloric intake of someone with a 4x speed metabolism and how much famine peanut butter he'd need to eat daily to keep from starving to death. oppression of irish immigrants and their children/grandchildren back in the 1940s. the difference between conservatives and fascists, back when there was a difference. what activities generally took place on these mysterious but ever-present new york city docks. just exactly HOW many terrible movies and tv shows has sebastian stan been in ranked by his resemblance to james buchanan barnes in each one. (i personally went through his entire imdb list at the time and then made a venn diagram.) electroswing! teachers and professors would have killed for their classes to have the kind of enthusiasm a bunch of mentally ill teenagers and 20-somethings on tunglr dot edu were showing about this one very specific set of subjects. this film also sparked my love of fight scenes. if you've read this fic or this fic and liked the Big Fight Scenes in them, you can thank cap2 for leading me down that path.

and then yes there was also discourse. my personal most hated thing was the above mentioned h*dra tr*sh p*rty (DO NOT GOOGLE THAT, i will just tell you it's nazi rape porn🤢 and i hope everyone involved is having a bad day today) and also the fact that SOME FUCKING PEOPLE can't understand "don't be shitheads about a fanfic where the author can see you doing it." but then ofc people were also sexist about nat and racist about sam and minimalizing those guys (and every other character besides tony really but sometimes him too) for the two white male leads was a whole thing. and on the funnier side of things you had (justifiably, i suppose) bitter st*ny fans who HATED what those two got in avengers and got real mad when stucky started outpacing them on ao3. and people complaining about the characters being too uwu soft. and then other people arguing whether or not barnes counted as disabled when he was missing a Whole arm. and THEN discourse about was it ethical to remove the arm and build him a new one ESPECIALLY without his consent (if people don't know they're being ableist in their fanfics hypothetically is it still ok to kill them with hammers?) and why was tony doing it if that guy killed his parents and is it ok that we keep making tony not that mad about his dead parents is it not enough that barnes stole his limelight as the guy who gets shipped with steve but what if all three of them fucked but can you really fuck the guy who offed your folks but ACTUALLY isn't it cringe to like tony anyway since RDJ and gwenyth paltrow are bad people and who says chris evans are sebastian stan are such good people etcetcetc. and let us not even get started on the plausibility of the avengers tower fanon after age of ultron came out and it turns out nobody became friends and they all still hated and mistrusted each other. and whether or not the avengers could be considered found family if the other characters were constantly getting shafted into being barnes's little support animals. and then ofc every once in awhile one of the actors of people involved creatively would say something ranging from mildly controversial to absolutely horrible on the internet and we'd all fight about THAT for awhile like a dog with a bone. i mean. typical infighting of any fandom tbh.

but i was very happy. it was all the most enormous thought experiment and creative endeavor (and semi-educational adventure??) that we all participated in daily for like two-ish years without stopping ever. i loved doing it. AND, when you click with a piece of media like that, you also click with other people who clicked with that same piece of media, so in addition to the sheer level of dopamine going into my brain at all times i also formed decade-long friendships that will certainly last the entirety of my lifetime, and when we're in our 90s in nursing homes i will be able to say, "we are friends because i wrote 14k of smut for your fanfic" or "we are friends because i couldn't get enough of your gifsets" or whatever because you know, we quite literally went to stucky together.