#it's only bad if it happens to you

[kay-oh-al-tea-sea]

remember sweaty: you can make fun of the people you don't like all you want, but the second they do it back they're horrible people who deserve to be destroyed by 1000 lasers 💖💖💖💖💖💖

[blueskittlesart]

i hope everyone in nintendo’s management department dies and goes to hell no matter what and i’m not kidding

[chloesimaginationthings]

The moment FNAF movie Vanessa knew she fucked up

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

[lovealwayssay]

I would pay an ungodly amount of money for a Supernatural finale where Dean rescues Cas from the Empty and tells him he loves him too, Eileen comes back to be with Sam, and Jack chooses to live with the four of them in the bunker as a happy family.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Turtle hunt gone wrong.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[lucy-bladeshield]

Can you imagine how terrified Aelwyn must be? Her baby sister and her dumb friends have just said the name of a dead god and the world went mad, and they went into the briefcase of the one named The Ball and the one with the dead god casted a ward of death on you. And now it's been who knows how long and spell after spell you try and cast won't open the briefcase?

[sparrowposting]

Ik halsin was a last minute addition but I kinda wish he had a full romance route ngl. Like. He's not normally my type of man but I am not immune to his treetrunk arms, kindhearted gentle trustworthiness, and stupid whittling of wooden ducks. The old worn sadness in his eyes. The burden of unwanted leadership. The hundreds of years of work to correct a past percieved mistake. The unending compassion for literally everyone, but esp children & the tiefling refugees. The wanderer and free spirit who, without giving up his freedom, finally finds a purpose, a reason to stop wandering, a devoted goal for his heart. He's SAFE and KIND and I like that in a man.

[drdemonprince]

people who are obsessed with passing are gonna be the death of our community i swear

[neverevan]

since we only have a couple of days left until the premiere, here's a reminder that if buddie doesn't go canon and if Eddie doesn't come out and even if Buck doesn't come out either, none of that means that the writing is terrible and that the show is bad and that the cast is at fault somehow.

just so we're clear.

[tothesolarium]

Mourning Cloak is a normal mech that nothing bad could happen to "If you roll the same number on all three dice, you disappear until your group rests, at which point you reappear nearby."

WHERE DID THEY GO

[juniemunie]

If we're not giving up, don't give up wherever you are.

That's a promise.

[ewwww-what]

It probably won’t (it will)

[welcometogrouchland]

(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.

Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!