#it's us with some of the frequents in our friend's system and it's great

[lackadaisycats]

Video essay by Jellybox about what's good and bad about indie animation!

Wanted to share this in case it's helpful to anyone wanting to pursue making animation independently. It's also for fans of indie animation who may want some insight into how an indie studio works, why indie cartoons are always selling merch, why release schedules are often erratic, etc.

I also wanted to clarify the video's context, because it seems to have been somewhat misconstrued in some circles. Not long ago, WGA and SAG strikes, followed by TAG negotiations were very much in the news, shining light on the struggles the artists, writers, and actors in the Hollywood studio system are facing. In response, the words 'just go indie' have been tossed around quite a bit lately.

Gene and Sean at Jellybox approached us a few months back explaining that they were planning to make a video about the realities of running an indie studio/producing indie animation, largely in response to that 'just go indie' attitude. They were curious if we'd be willing to share our experience, including information about actual costs and the various difficulties and complications we've encountered. We said yes! We'd like for people to know what it's like. As much as it might look appealing next to the currently very broken studio system, indie has its own set of problems, and we think it's a good idea to be transparent about that because talking about problems is how you begin to address them.

Of course, while you get creative freedom and you have no shareholders to appease with indie production, the primary struggle you're always going to face is funding…and funding avenues are limited. Banks aren't eager to hand out business loans to freelance artists making cartoons, for instance. Social media algorithms reward frequent updates you can't swing with hand-drawn animated content, so you can't rely much on things like AdSense. You can't really insert sponsored ads into your animated videos without being too obtrusive. You can take on client work, but that interferes with your ability to focus on own animated project. Crowdfunds can be great for seed money, but they're also a ton of work to fulfill, and fulfillment itself will tend to eat up a considerable amount of the funds you've raised. Once your animation is produced, there is no well established way to sell the animated episode itself like there is for, say indie games sold on Steam. So, while we consider ways to try to make the terrain a bit more hospitable to indie creations, if nothing else, let this explain why productions rely a lot on merch drops!

-----------------

And hey, if you're an animation fan, consider supporting the independent productions you enjoy, whether you're tossing a few dollars their way, buying their merch, or just mentioning them to friends:

The Far-Fetched team is launching a crowdfund very soon to help them complete their pilot!

The Monkey Wrench team is killing it lately, and they deserve so much more fanfare than they've gotten!

And of course, thank you to the excellent folks at Jellybox for starting an important conversation!

[anim-ttrpgs]

The Kickstarter for Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is Live!!

Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is our team’s debut TTRPG, over three years in the making! The campaign will run from April 10th to May 10th!

How far would you go to learn the truth?

Play amateur detectives caught up in things they barely understand, and explore how the lives of your characters unravel as they push themselves to dig deeper into the unknown!

Tense investigations!

Delve into an investigation-focused mystery and horror system that lets players take initiative and use their characters’ unique strengths to find clues and deduce conclusions themselves. A few bad rolls won’t get the party hopelessly stuck, but at the same time Eureka respects their intellect and lets them take charge of solving the mystery!

Character-driven gameplay!

Stats and abilities are based on who your character is as a person. Freeform character creation allows you to build a totally unique little guy, and have a totally unique gameplay experience with him! This is supported by the backbone of the Composure mechanic. Stress, fear, fatigue, and hunger will wear your investigators down as they trudge deeper into the unknown. Food, sleep, and connections with their fellow investigators are the only way to keep them going!

Secrets inside and out! 

Any investigator could be a monster, helping their friends while trying not to reveal their true natures. The party will learn to trust and rely on each other, or explode into a tangled net of drama!

Intense, tactical combat! 

Hits are devastating, and misses are unpredictable–firing a gun will always change the situation somehow, for better or for worse!

Now in Technicolor!

Evocative artwork from talented femme-fatales @chaospyromancy and @qsycomplainsalot and the mysterious @theblackwarden paint a gorgeously-realized portrait of a world with shadows lurking in every corner.

Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. We are almost at the end, we just need some financial support to put the finishing touches on it and make the final push to get it ready for official release!

With every stretch goal we meet, the game gets better and better. Tons of beautiful new artwork, new options for gameplay, and even two entirely new playable Monsters could be added to the book, so visit the Kickstarter and secure your copy today!

If you want to try before you buy, you can download a free demo of the prerelease version from our website or our itch.io page!

If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!

You can also support us on Ko-fi, or by checking out our merchandise!

Join our TTRPG Book Club At the time of writng this, Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is the current game being played in the book club, and anyone who wants to participate in discussion, but can’t afford to make a contribution, will be given the most updated prerelease version for free! Plus it’s just a great place to discuss and play new TTRPGs you might not be able to otherwise!

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

[ciaomarie]

Part 1: What then?

Some seemingly innocent, but truly mind-altering information is shared in a staff meeting.

Short fan fic. Low-key Sydcarmy/The Bear fluff. Post-season 2. Canon-compliant.

Location: The Bear

Time: 10:05 a.m.

The restaurant had closed lunch service on a Tuesday for a "Development Day". The Bear had been open for 5 months and had a 2 month wait list! After Family and Friends when they had all banded together the Bear crew had gotten tighter than ever. Carmen had been a outsider in his own restaurant for a couple weeks, but soon the dust settled. Even Sydney came around after 3 weeks of his patient groveling. The duo was good and soon The Bear had become one of Chicago Tribune's "Best New Restaurants." However, with success The Bear was changing fast. They had hired more full-time front and kitchen staff, which was great. The downside was that "respectful communication" and "customer complaint management" was waning a little. Things were not terrible, but Richie for whom Ever set the bar in hospitality, The Bear should always be improving, not sliding backwards. Natalie, Carmen and Sydney agreed. They also wanted to discuss new menu changes and a to-go system they would be testing soon.

"Okay, people! Let's get started" Natalie said beckoning everyone to take a seat at the front of house.

Richie stood next her "casually dressed" in a button down blue dress shirt and dark grey slacks.

He began, "As you know The Bear is on track to paying off the loan and we're the freakin' toast of the town right now, but this is not the time to take a nap. We gotta keep our eyes on the prize. So first, up facial regulation as known as RBF awareness."

Natalie tapped his shoulder and whispered, "Richie, I love your enthusiasm, but I thought we might start with an ice breaker?"

He shrugged and continued, "But Nat, has a ice breaker. Take it away".

Natalie resumed.

"So, first we want to thank each of you for being part of this dream and making it fun, rewarding, and successful. As you know The Bear is a family business and since there's new faces here we'd like to get to know you better and vice versa. We'll start with a quick round of "Best and Worst". Just pick a question out of the cup and answer it. Please keep your answers to 2 minutes."

The first question went to Randall, a young man in his early 20's with dark curly hair and thick glasses that frequently fogged in the humid kitchen. He was the new assistant pastry chef.

"What was the best place I ever lived? Hm…Guam. My dad, Army, was stationed on the base and I lived there from age 9-11. I had like 12 friends just on my block and we were always playing soccer, swimming, or riding our bikes. It was awesome."

"Thanks Randall!" Natalie chirped.

The next went to Tina.

"Ok…what is worst advice I've ever been given? Keep your head down and do what you know. That's the advice I used to give myself. Thankfully I didn't listen because now I'm a sous chef!"

Sydney who was sitting near the front between Gary and Carmy, beamed at Tina who returned the smile with a little moisture in her eyes.

The next question went to Marcus.

"Best moment in the last year? It was training at Noma, in Copenhagen. It was my first international trip. I got to stay in a houseboat, explore the city, meet cool people, and figure out that I wanted to do this maybe forever."

The last several months had been really hard due to Marcus's mom's passing. He had returned to work after a week of mourning citing that he knew she wouldn't want him to sit at home now that she was no longer sick. Despite that he was getting better every day and had come up with several new popular dessert specials. Tina was seated next to him and patted his arm.

The next few questions went to new dishwasher, Chris, Fak, and then Gary.

Sydney drew the next question and winced upon reading it. It wouldn't be possible to lie because Marcus already knew the truth.

"What was my best meal ever? Well…it was this pork confit with onions and rhubarb. Then after I had this dish called Milk and Honey."

She kept her eyes plastered on the tiny strip of paper while she spoke. In her peripheral field she could see Carm turning slightly towards her, his cornflower blue eyes boring two holes into the side of her head.

"Sounds grand. Ok, Carmy pick a question" Richie ordered wanting to get down to business by 10:30am.

Carmy didn't seem to hear him. He was on another planet.

"Yo cuz, pick a question!"

He startled and drew a question.

"Uh ok. Best part of my day? Hmmm. Closing up."

It was now Sydney's soul's turn to exit her body. Every night, with few exceptions, she and Carmy ended the night in his office to debrief on the day, perform last checks, and close together.

After a moment she felt his eyes still glancing at her. Without turning she whispered, "Later." The last thing she needed was to look at him, and forget how much time was passing, giving Richie yet another reason to tease them. Not long ago he gave them matching copies of a workplace relationship etiquette tip sheet stapled to an OSHA industrial hygiene handout before leaving them to close.

She sighed, trying to compose herself. It was no big deal. So what that Carm knew he was responsible for the best thing she ever ate? Also, they're partner-friends so it's totally normal that his favorite time of day when is they are together…alone. Right?

UH OH.

[rin-and-jade]

A Cup, and A Thread: A Post About System Communication

Hey, you know classic string telephone? The one made with two plastic cups and a piece of yarn, i suppose you recognize that old-school science toy? It's one of the simplest inventions that showcases how messages are sent from one place to another!

This little invention is very fitting to explain how inner communication works, so i hope today's theme of analogy will help you understand all of my messages im about to share, with a twist of a fiber.

There's a lot of things i want to address on this topic, thanks to all my 8 great friends who had helped me gather a variety of insights on what seems to be the problem, i have the answers right here that will be shared to the community, because of them!

You know what communication is?

I sure do, but let's both revise on what it means, according to Merriam-Webster, it's defined as..

"a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior."

It also means "a technique for expressing ideas effectively."

..Alright, we should be in the same page now, but, do we actually know what counts as 'good' communication in system context? After some examination from the given data, it was a resounding "No." This can also mean many may not have a clear idea on it, which will also be addressed.

Okay, tell me please?

Before i do tell, remember that communication is diverse, with no perfect or right way to do so. Just like animals, where different species use unique methods to pull it off, means can systems have their own unique styles too.

There are a few examples we see in animals; like how some use pheromones to talk to its own kind, while some read off from their signature body languages, and some use tones or cues that is meant to be recognized specifically, to each their own meanings.

So, good communication means ensuring that everyone in the system can understand and receive messages effectively which eases functioning and cooperation, regardless of how frequent or indirect the communication may be.

For us, systems have unique internal methods of communication that are based on how our brains function, not having any unique features in animals. These methods are very personal, so find what works best for you.

Here are the common styles so far:

Verbal: Where you talk aloud, or in a media like notes.

Abstract vibes: Where you speak no words, which encompasses feelings, or concepts, or ideas, that can be "felt" instead of heard or seen.

Images: Where the share of messages are conveyed through memories, expressive actions or symbols that are projected in the mind.

Direct thoughts: Where an internal dialogue is present, parts communicate using this inner voice, that can vary in different accents and intonations.

The media represents a lot of the stereotypical kind, direct thoughts, while the rest are less recognized. These four kinds are not limited to, but are the ones often represented, they are equally as important and real.

It's important to note that alters within a system can have different communication styles, or the collective may share the same style. You can't force yourself to use a particular kind, so focus on practicing and mastering your style.

..But there's many problems!

Which is why it's a good idea to educate yourself and find proper solutions in order to resolve them. I know some of them at best, as there might be issues i have not heard of, though will still be shared.

Consider a clear communication between two alters with an example of both cups, connected to the string with no obstructive noise at the background while exchanging messages, one conveys the content clearly, and the other hears and received with maximum clarity/understanding. This will be our main example that will be used to compare with the problems that usually arise in this topic.

The problem with multi-talking

Now, to explain interruptions from another part would be like having an extra string-attached cup tied to the middle of the initial cup, now with two inputs and one receiver, the messages will overlap each other and become obscured.

This can be resolved by being aware, then slowing down when talking and take turns between each other to avoid clashes which can easily overwhelm or confuse the receiver, or even the sender itself since losing track of thought or words can happen.

The problem with worser performance from stress

When stress happens, this can sometimes mess up your state to receive messages, imagine that outwards stressors had pulled and tugged your thread, now a bit twisted out and weak, which still can be used to communicate and hear, but now in a weaker clarity.

Because parts communicate mostly from internal ways, our brain networks are responsible to allow when activities inside (that doesn't necessarily involve system things) can happen. Just like how imagination runs in a mind that's wandering off, stress alerts you instead, snapping off from any safe or calm activities until the 'threat' is resolved.

You can gain temporary clarity by calming yourself down and bring all your focus to send your messages if any responds, if it doesn't happen, it would be best to wait it out until you naturally feel at ease once more, or solve the issue at hand and try again afterwards.

This may not work when you are in a fight or flight response, if you do got cutted off and need to contact anyone from inside, try using strong triggers to probe a response.

The problem with ineffective communication

It is like talking to a part who uses a rubber strand instead of cotton string as its mediator. Threads can conduct finer vibrations that can preserve the original verbal message, while rubber can represent for those who use vibes, as they're more broad and less specific. So if they attempt to talk to you with rubber, you might not receive it's message well,

This can be solved with having another part that are flexible or able to decipher, or find the middle ground where both can exchange better. (e.g. texts)

The problem of talking outside your subgroup

This is where it gets tricky, because there is a notable difference in communication where it's easier to converse inside your group while it's harder to converse outside of your group. What i mean by group is they are the people you meet and talk the most and have easy time communicating.

Imagine that the same group has the same length of the thread, the shorter, the better it retains or transfers message with no effort. Talking outside of your group would require you an extra pair of string telephone, but this time the thread is long as you're talking to another neighboring group, who isn't directly related with you.

Suggestions varies from trying different medias to contact with and see what works best, or rely on someone who have direct relations with the group you mean to interact with, acting as a bridge. Lowering barriers by consenting to get closer in co-conscious might do the trick too. Long term solution would be building ties to strengthen communication. (can also work with layers, better if you can 'travel' there to get direct interactions)

The problem with front and innerworld disconnection

It is normal to be out of contact from the inside when you're fronting, since this would mean you put down the cup to focus doing task or role job. To remedy this, try finding a moment to sit down or close your eyes, and feel yourself going back to your mind, since in order to contact those inside, you must lightly disconnect from the real world to focus better inwards.

The problem with having aphantasia

As if you heard the noise from the cup, but you're not sure where that sound is coming from nor aware of your surroundings as this condition blinds you visually (can vary from mild to severe, blurry/vague mental images to blank respectively).

Your innerworld is still there, using visualization is one way to immerse in, start relying on your tactile awareness, or your 'radar' that is, since it is possible to detect parts in your proximity. Rely on tangible medias such as texting or notes to keep track of things.

The problem with external noise

Having a comorbid of something, such as ADHD, autism, or OCD can create a mental chatter that exists in the background constantly.. if not most of the time, imagine that the location of the telephone is somewhere bustling, now it is harder to tell which one is intrusive, random chatters, or an alter's voice.

There is not a lot to say except learning how to separate those noises from your people, it is done best by slowing down and voice your messages wide and clear to create a distinction from such background chatter, making it easier to differentiate.

Other conditions like depression and anxiety can also affect the clarity and ease of communicating.

The problem with distinguishing others

For those with comorbids and aphantasia, this can make it much harder, though still possible! One last problem with communication is sometimes not knowing who is who, which creates obstacles in different ways. Imagine that there are multiple cups lined up to you as the receiver, this creates difficulty on pinpointing whose speaking. Thus, having problems on replying back or made sure if the first sentence relate to the second one, or it belonged to someone else.

The only solution there is, has to be a long term one. As you're suggested to slowly collect and recognize different speech pattern, assigned vibes of other parts, when they usually reply or what topics/mentions brings them up, and different accents or tone if any.

It is not required to 'know' physical attributes or what they look like, but this one will help a ton and usually the easiest way in distinguishing who is who. The solution is to go through a trial and error (arrange all the attributes you like/feel connected to, and see what sticks) and document all the findings somewhere, incase you're forgetful/difficulty memorizing.

Special mentions

It is worth knowing that communication is greatly affected by your state of mind + physical health, the conditions you have, the maturity of the alter in communicating skills, and the style you or the collective dominantly have.

That being said, having the same role, or source, or how old or new an alter is doesn't generally affect the ease of exchanging messages.

Lastly, inner communication also obeys similar rules to how conversation works in real life, this can be taken from examples:

The proximity of the talker you're with affects how much you can understand what is being said. It makes sense that you need to focus harder to hear what the mumbles meant when they're further away from you.

Being with people you can vibe along always results in a better and more effective exchange, as you don't have to explain twice for them to get the message. (mutual understanding)

How loud the environment is also affects how focused/undisturbed you are within a conversation, and it takes effort to separate the background noise to catch what they're saying.

People also have their own ways of expressing their message, some are more dominant in body language or etc. This is why it is important to recognize and understand what it means. You will always have your own dominant way of socializing, but this doesn't mean you can't learn other ways, partially.

Now comprehending the concept of system communication does become easier, right? This should serve as a good framework to start building and understanding connections.

One last phone call

I hope everything i have said here has been loud and clear, if there is a problem that has not been mentioned that needs fixing, give this string telephone a tug and i'd answer your call alright?

May this post address all the things you need more than a hotline help centre and leave with full satisfaction.

If you please, i will now indulge in the whole history of telephone strings, join me if you wish! Did you know it's originally made of tin can instead of a plastic cup?

-- The next post that will be out: all about introjection. Stay tuned!

- j

[castielslostwings]

A Eulogy and Obituary for Dagny Ayn September 13, 1978 -- February 2023.

I am devastated beyond words to share that the wonderful Dagny Ayn (who you may know as daynz or meta_castiel on twitter) is no longer with us. Her sudden passing is a shock and the urge to speculate on details is understandable, but I hope we can focus on her light instead, because Dagny doesn't deserve to have her life defined by how it ended. Dagny did not receive the recognition of her life and memorialization of her existence that she deserved out in the real world, so I thought to give it to her here, as well as create a place for those of us who loved her to come together and grieve, to share about her memory as we should.

Dagny was here. Please read and celebrate her life with me.

To do it online seems right. I truly believe Dagny would approve. The online Supernatural fandom (and especially the Destiel-friendly spaces), served as her community, her chosen family. Like so many of us, fandom was her life vest, her social circle, her escape from the harshness of the non-virtual world, and the source of most joy in her life. To anyone who knew her, it was no secret as to how much Dagny loved this little corner of the internet.

On a personal note, Dagny was one of the first people I connected with after joining the fandom, and we immediately bonded over our mutual love for Buffy and Supernatural. Especially Willow/Tara, Misha Collins, Castiel, and Destiel. We shared many similar life struggles, from past trauma and complex parental relationships to mental health and disability challenges to a lack of IRL support and chronic loneliness.

The friend group I shared with her and @coinofstone was one of the safest places I have ever known. Talking to Dagny never failed to leave me feeling heard and understood. I hope I was able to do the same for her.

Dagny was strong. Despite the many obstacles life constantly hurled in her direction, she was always looking forward and moving towards the future. She saw the best in people, even those who failed her, those who didn't deserve her grace and forgiveness. She loved her mother more than anything in the world, and Chelsea, her cat, a very close second.

(she would definitely want me to show you Chelsea!) When Dagny's mother and main support system passed unexpectedly in recent years, Dagny was handed a new armful of struggles and asked to face an uncertain future without the person she loved most and with barely enough resources to survive. She was uprooted from her home and moved clear across the country, losing so much in the process and dropped in a precarious situation. Despite all of that, she had big goals for herself. She was working hard to build the life she wanted despite a major lack of family & IRL support as well as her own demons.

Dagny was amazing at appreciating the simplest things. A free coffee at Tim's, some stickers in the mail, or a small windfall that allowed her to purchase a meal kit from the grocery store would brighten her entire week and she would gush about how happy she was for days. When she first moved cities after losing her mom, she talked about how thrilled she felt to have big windows and a view of the city, as she'd lived in a basement walkout for years. Her enthusiasm for those things, even in the face of great struggle, was always humbling and contagious.

Dagny was easy to love.

As for fandom, Dagny especially loved Misha, Castiel, and Destiel, and did so fiercely. She read tens of thousands of words of fanfic every day, frequently messaging me from the bus to complain about rowdy passengers "interrupting her gay porn". One time, she lost her phone and worried to me (from her laptop) about losing her entire collection of fanart, 100+ AO3 tabs, and the SPN-related photos she had saved, unconcerned about the actual phone and her ability to contact IRLs.

With what little extra money Dagny had (and how infrequently she could be convinced to treat herself), she enjoyed collecting fandom merch, especially items made by her favorite fan artists. She ALWAYS had a Destiel case from redbubble on her phone! Her Ace pin from Stands was a treasured item.

Dagny greatly admired Misha's missions and charity work very much, following GISH closely and always striving to share and his boost campaigns and those of other cast members. She would often express that she wished she could do or donate more, even while she struggled to provide bare essentials for herself. Dagny was selfless like that.

As full as her phone was with saved memes, cast photos, Castiel/Destiel art, and fanfic links, it was equally brimming with people who loved Dagny herself. She often expressed how happy and connected seeing notifications on her social posts made her feel, how loved she felt by her friends and fellow shippers.

Discovering the Ace spectrum through fandom empowered Dagny to feel confident in expressing her identity, allowing her to name and define a feeling and concept she could never quantify before. She felt very strongly about wearing her Ace pride on her sleeve. We spoke many times about the power of fandom and online community to turn shame and confusion into confidence and love, and Dagny truly embraced that concept. She was a wonderful role model for embracing your true self.

Dagny had many hopes for a bright future. She was trying to find a job and gain more financial independence, and she had a whole plan to do so. She was smart and motivated. She was also haunted and wrestled constantly with demons that just wouldn't let her go.

We talked frequently about finally meeting at an SPN convention, once she was able. One of Dagny's dreams was to have a photo op with Misha as Castiel, and we spent many nights planning excitedly for a theoretical day that we hoped would come. Since then, she fell in love with Heartstopper and dipped into other fandoms and was living her best online life. Dagny had so much room in her heart.

So many things, not the least of which were time and borders, kept us from ever meeting in person, but our friendship was no less real for those barriers.

To Dagny: family doesn't end in blood. Jen and I both love you and choose you back. We know you were here. You made an impact and we'll never forget you. This wasn't supposed to be the end of the road, but you taught me that sometimes life has other plans and there's nothing to do but roll with them.

Until we meet again, my friend. thank you for being you.

If you would like to do something to honor Dagny, her life, and her passions, she would want you to donate to The Castiel Project. It's particularly fitting, as besides being a beloved project to her, Dagny also deserved a happy ending that just wasn't in the cards.

Please feel free to leave your memories and/or love for Dagny here.

[ash-says]

How to tackle Fragmented Sleep/ Sleep disruptions :

This post is inspired and geared to help @thisisneededfmr .

Also to every one of those who are going through similar issues. It becomes extremely taxing when you can't sleep peacefully at night. You keep on waking up in between after some hours if not then suddenly you are half asleep which according to me is even more annoying. Being an insomniac or nightmares can make this condition even worse.

Sleep fragmentation can be described as frequent interruption or disruption in the normal sleep cycle. It can cause various chronic health issues as well as have repercussions on mental health.

Ways to tackle Fragmented Sleep:

1) Develop a sleep schedule:

Instead of being a night owl jump into your bed and try to sleep. It will be difficult at first but slowly and steadily you might fall asleep. Count numbers?? Try to sleep at the same time everyday. Because once it becomes a habit you will automatically feel sleepy.

2) Avoid Caffeine or any foods that result in hyperactivity:

Coffee is infamous for making you feel nervous and jittery. So avoid it before bedtime hours. Any kind of foods that result in a hyperactive nervous system cancel them out.

3) Practice relaxation techniques:

Listen to calming music, do breath work, meditate, read a nice book before you fall asleep. This might help in calming your nerves.

4) Exercise regularly and do yoga before sleeping:

The benefits of exercise are well known to us. I don't want to waste my time in convincing you about it. There are some specific yoga asanas you can do before sleeping and trust me it works like wonders. One of my friends when I used to live in a dorm made us do it and the sleep after that was just a chef's kiss.

5) Limit screen time before bed:

The radiations emitted by the phone or electronic devices disturb your sleep cycle. So try not to use your phone before you fall asleep. In fact at my home this is a rule we never sleep with the phones near us. They are kept at a great distance so that the quality of sleep is not disturbed.

6) Try not to do work or other activities in bed:

I read it somewhere on Tumblr long back please if anyone knows the blog kindly tag them in comments so I can give the reference here. It stated that you should only use your bed for sleeping as it will automatically signal your brain to sleep once you are in there.

7) Address your mental issues:

Most of the time sleep fragmentation is caused by psychological problems. Is there something you are trying to escape from? Or are you in a stressful environment? Depression? Anxiety? Adhd?etc you get my point right. Try to fix those issues. Your problem might be arising from there. Who knows.

8) Check your medicines if you are on any:

Literally!!! I am not kidding. It's really serious. Some medicines put your nervous system in hyperactive mode resulting in fragmented sleep. Check with your doctor and share these things with them. If the problem has started after you started the dosage maybe it's responsible for it.

From here the suggestions are based on personal experience with no scientific data to back it up. Use your own discernment.

9) Hug someone or something and sleep:

This works for me sometimes. If there's someone you are close to then try asking them if they would be okay to sleep while hugging you or holding you close. It's therapeutic. Plus it helps in relaxing the adrenaline in your body and brings you out of the survival mode.

10) Sleep in an open space:

Sometimes our bodies are not able to relax in a confined place. It's part of a phase especially if you have trauma related to closed areas. It can be triggering for your body and your brain might wake you up in between to look for danger. So sleeping in an open space like a balcony or something might work.

11) Keep a knife under your pillow:

I know this sounds ridiculous but it's a belief in our culture that doing it solves sleep related issues. Especially if you are having nightmares. And even if it doesn't work you have a knife to swing if someone attacks you in case. It's cool.

12) See a doctor:

When nothing of the above helps and even your own techniques that you might know it's high time you take professional help. It's not something you should ignore.

Being stated all that I really wish you a GOOD NIGHT SLEEP and pray that you overcome these issues. There are a lot of underlying causes that result in sleep fragmentation but the main one being Stress, Trauma, Emotional distress,etc.

So find a friend and vent it out if you are going through any negative state of mind. If you don't have anyone my ask box is always open. Drop a message and I will try to reach out to you as soon as I can.

Reminder: You are doing great given the circumstances. So keep fighting on and don't let anything have power over you.

[astelianstudio]

🖤 Welcome Shadowdrops~ 🖤

🔗Quick Links 🖤 🌐Our Website 🖤 OC Masterlist 🖤 Hai friends, Lynx Astel here and we create art as a hopeful career as the Astel System. Artist with DID under our Studio name of Astelian Studio. Digital art, stickers, animations, comics, and writings make up a lot of what we do as a system.

Graduated with a BFA in ceramics, we are just trying to get by creatively with other means as we make it in this cracked out world we all share.

⚠��DISCLAIMER⚠️This blog is 18+ and is intended for an adult audience. While I am not planning on straight up sharing NSFW, some links may someday lead there and our art does occasionally touch on mature topics, make suggestive jokes, and contain sexual themes and images. We are not comfortable interacting with minors. ~~~~~~~~~~LINKED ACCOUNTS~~~~~~~~~~~~

Main Non-Art Blog for Lynx ~ Using this to find moots. Talk more about DID and blog just random thoughts. Aurora Rose's blog ~ Currently Great God Grove Hyperfixation. but if you wanna talk to her. Go here <3 This post is subject to change. Just wanted something out there to pin when they came to the art page~ <3

Frequent tags ⬇️

[storkmuffin]

Sorry if this is tedious, but I'm here to answer the "what the hell is happening in America" tag. I come from a long line of poverty. My great grandmother was born in a tar paper shack. I don't know the full history, but I'll give you the modern summary.

Our politicians are paid off by companies to preserve their interests. That means much less oversight than there should be. Companies raise prices and lower wages to line their own pockets. They bust most union efforts. Then, when people resort to survival crime like shoplifting, the store often just has security intervene or locks up the products.

I work in a grocery store which is owned by one of the largest grocery corporations in the country. It was even going to be merged with the largest recently until the deal fell through. I also live in a city with the highest grocery prices in the country. My company gouges prices horribly. You can rarely find anything there for a sane price and I avoid buying unless I have to.

I'm fortunate that we're a union store, but the union has no teeth, so our contracts have been getting worse every term. I make enough to pay my (relatively few) bills, but I have to get government food and medical assistance. If I were to work just a few more hours a week, that assistance would be taken away because I make too much money. My medical assistance would also be taken away, and there's no way I could maintain my housing and my health alone.

All of this isn't new. The government uses propaganda to pit races and classes against one another to make us hate each other instead of this inhumane system. But it's definitely a tighter squeeze in recent years.

This is not intrusive, at all. To just be my very heavy handed self - I was moved and honored that you were willing to share this much of your real life with me. I've read it several times over, trying to understand.

For anyone who might see this and wonder about the context, I put the tag, "What the hell is happening in America and England" on a chain of post about how stores that sell basic necessities (the combo pharmacy-and-grocery chains places) are starting to lock up basic essential goods, for which you now have to summon a clerk to obtain. I've only seen that sort of arrangement on the Anne of Green Gables TV series, you know, from the early 20th century in small town fantasy Canada. In Seoul, the only things I've ever seen locked up behind the clerk at the counter of a convenience store are cigarettes. Pharmacists keep prescription drugs (like the opioid painkillers) behind them but birth control pills (which are OTC in Korea) and everything else is just out in front for you to pick up. Hard liquor and wine are just in the fridge or on the shelf, next to all the other drinks, you know, in both convenience stores and supermarkets.

I lived in America both as a child, then later as a college and grad student, then as a professional on H1B visa, but it wasn't like that when I was there, so I was shocked at the apparent deterioration the post was reporting. Your ask (answer?) gives me a lot more context. I've obviously been back frequently (most to NY or CA for work) but you don't normally go to a supermarket on vacation or a biz trip, so I didn' t know.

The nightmare situation a lot of Americans are in about healthcare I am familiar with, and it appalls me afresh every time I have to imagine living in that system. Whenever I tell Korean friends that the US is a place where one of the routine things a cancer patient has to do is get in touch with a good bankruptcy lawyer while they're in treatment, because that's how their healthcare system 'works,' nobody believes me and end up googling it right then and there. Then they stare in disbelief at what they learn for long, shocked silences.

And I don't want to paint S. Korea as some sort of 'advanced' or 'improved' system. I'm very privileged and very sheltered, plus on the autism spectrum - maybe there ARE places where they lock up diapers and condoms against the customer in Seoul or elsewhere, and i just don't know. The people who live in half-basement single-room apartments that drowned in place in flash floods in neighborhoods I'd never heard of in Seoul in once-in-a-century downpours because their windows were barred and there were no emergency exits shocked me at the time (a couple years ago) and haunt me to this day. It's just that - we've at least made it so that you will get a baseline of healthcare, provided by the state, if you come down with a serious illness, no matter who you are. That seems like the absolute minimum to me, because my system provides everyone that last safety net.

[cotillion-the-rope]

Shade Lord Ghost Drabbles: Good at this Being a Ruler Thing

Summary: How about some politics? Mantises always were xenophobic and, since infecion, strongest comunity in Hallownest. I would like to see Ghost(maybe more expirienced one?) try to negotiate non lethal aproach towards strangers. Im sure you could also come up with other isues for two parties to solve. Prehaps making a deal similar to Pale King's?

[A/N] One of my resolutions this year is to catch up on my drabble requests because I am VERY far behind. I have 7 request fics total over on Ao3 but Shade Lord Ghost is one of the 2 with the most requests so expect somewhat frequent updates as I try to fit in doing drabble requests here and there as I'm able.

~

“We don’t kill indiscriminately,” the representative for the Mantis tribe explained. “Only those who enter the village without permission. And even then sometimes we make exceptions. Hatchlings, for instance, are in no danger from us should their guardians fail them and they end up crawling into our territory. Everyone else should know better than to trespass.”

“So you don’t kill kids, great, good to know.” Quirrel was the one who’d insisted on this meeting, inviting Ghost and the Mantis representative to one of the Archives big rooms where it could be recorded. “That however, is the bare minimum. News of the Shade Lord continues to spread. A new god is a big deal, especially one as powerful as them. As a result there are more and more folk returning to fill Hallownest’s old burrows every day. It is only a matter of time before problems arise, resulting in people dying who don’t need to. And, in addition to that, Monomon has informed me that she believes there might be important historical artifacts present in the village that should help us in our continued efforts to restore the Archives.”

The laid back curiosity Quirrel usually exhibited wasn’t gone but it was hidden under a layer of professionalism Ghost hadn’t known him to be capable of. He was on a mission here. Probably Monomon had put him up to it.

“We can make an exception for Monomon and perhaps you. No one else though. It’s always been our way to kill trespassers, much like we’ve always killed the dangerous beasts that try to crawl up out of Deepnest.”

“I believe it’s time for that to change. The rest of Hallownest is changing after all. Even Herrah is getting along with everyone else.”

“Only because she no longer has enough people under her to count herself as a proper Queen. We, however, continue to thrive and have done so for centuries.”

“Fair enough. However, before we continue, my dear friend Ghost, I must implore you to give your opinion. I didn’t invite you here to observe after all but because you are, by default, ruler over all of Hallownest. The Mantis Tribe will listen to you, preferably upon a negotiated agreement.” Left unsaid was that Ghost could force their way if they so chose. Also not said was the assumption that Ghost would agree with him that the Mantis Tribe should relax their ‘kill trespassers on sight’ approach.

Did Ghost agree though? It was the Mantis Tribe’s territory after all and it had stood strong as such throughout the rest of Hallownest’s fall. They’d even stood against the Infection. Which meant the way they’d been doing it had merit; killing strangers who tried to trespass into their territory kept them alive. And they made exceptions for children and those who’d proven themselves worth of the Lords’ respect.

On the other hand though, it was a bit extreme. The strong killing those weaker than them for merely wandering into the wrong place. All the power Ghost had now meant they had to think about that kind of stuff a lot more as killing was no longer a means to ensure their safety. Instead it would be a means of enforcing their will as few, if any, posed a real threat to their well being. They’d long since decided not to operate like that; they hadn’t like existing under that system when they’d be weaker so they weren’t going to put others through that. That’s not how they wanted to rule. Did they have the right to impose that ideal onto the Mantis Tribe though? Maybe not force but they could suggest it, right?

“Instead of killing you can whack trespassers away. Keep them out but don’t hurt or kill them.” Granted, when Ghost had tried that with Zote, he’d kept coming. But even back then, they’d been so much stronger than him that killing him would’ve felt wrong. They had eventually gotten him to sit down for good though with a bit of effort. He’d been extra stubborn though. One good but non-injuring whack to the carapace should be enough to deter most people.

The Mantis representative took a few seconds to think before replying. “I suppose that’s a potential compromise. A few warning attacks first before killing if they insist on staying. We could perhaps be persuaded to do that. There are limits to what we’ll put up with though.”

“And we can easily go over those,” Quirrel said, “as well as other specifics.”

Ghost was apparently good at this being a ruler thing. … Or was the Mantis representative taking the idea into consideration because they’d suggested it? He was afraid to deny them outright because they were a god? … Well, even if that was the case, if that resulted in less unnecessary death then so be it.

[plurapony]

i hate not being able to make friends in the real world, too many insecurities and most people just, don't know we exist.

so hey! anyone got friendship applications? :D

so here's a little bit about us:

we are a did autistic system with suspected ocpd (think super organized perfectionist) our current headcount is 62 (wowza!)

outside the internet we are very boring, we work full time in a call centre (trying to get out but job market sucks yk) and we live with our fiancee so majority of our free time is spent hanging out with her. we frequently play games like bang dream and project sekai, read the occasional creepypasta, are super into writing lists of all the things we could buy in the future and we draw a lot.

cartoons and anime are something that mean a lot to us, yk how escapism be, and our special interest is my little pony. currently we are watching steven universe with our fiancee and it's great! we love it. we are very fictive and factive heavy (though are private about factives) not entirely sure why, ames like to say it's because our brain is lazy.

we are bodily 22, and to us gender literally doesn't exist. our host is a trans boy, but we have nonbinary and others and a bunch of other boys and girls - to the point where any conversation about gender is very confusing.

oh! and we tend to watch a lot of youtube. some of our all time favourites are Pixielocks, xCanadensis, Chuckle Sandwich, lulaloopsey, Vylet Pony, emilia fart, strawberry sprite, cybr.grl, Niki Nihachu, Dan and Phil + honestly so much more.

so hi that's us, and we'd love to make more system friends 🩷

[thevindicativevordan]

Batman: Caped Crusader S1 Review

Normally not a guy I write a whole lot about, but I finished watching S1 last night and decided I would share my thoughts.

Cutting right to the chase I found this mediocre. Trapped in the shadow of it's elder brother it fails at living up to being a spiritual successor, or charting it's own path. Changes made feel like token efforts done simply for changes sake, but with the exception of Harley, frequently feel like downgrades from what BTAS did. Rapid fire thoughts:

Pilot was easily the worst episode even though I was won over on Ricci's Penguin on account of her great performance

Clayface episode was good, no surprise considering Rucka wrote it, and struck me as a preview for what Reeves may have planned for his Batman sequel given the rumors Clayface will appear in that

Dug the Catwoman episode, but it’s hurt by how they basically did Golden Age Catwoman in BTAS. Nothing new here, Selina is a wealthy heiress like in BTAS who has a one sided romantic interest in Batman. Sure her BTAS incarnation was an animal rights activist but the foundation is the same. Given Brubaker's involvement I wish they had gone with her Post Crisis origin of being poor and stealing to survive. Least she loses her money by the end, maybe they’ll go in a different direction with her. Good idea to do the mandatory origin here, least it keeps the clichés all in one episode. I did love the Catmobile!

Firebug was eh, don’t get what the point was in changing him other than to keep in line with the Golden Age aesthetic.

Harley Episode was good! Wasn’t sure how a Jokerless Harley would work but they did actually manage to keep her sympathetic nature, and make her feel like a legit threat. Her victims were scumbag billionaires which made me sympathize with her motives if not her methods. Knew moments before they did it that they were going to homage Harley's "death" in Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, having Babs and Harley together was too tempting a target to pass up.

That was Papa Midnite in the Gentleman Ghost episode right? Cool deep cut, people were clamoring for Batman to show up in MAWS but Superman would be a better fit for this show than Batman would be for MAWS honestly. Reusing Fleschier Lois' design for one of the Gotham reporters got a chuckle out of me. Didn’t expect them to go with actual ghosts, that at least is a marked change from BTAS where everything had a “realistic” explanation.

Episode 7 had an… interesting moral. Didn’t expect anyone to make an episode in the year of our Lord 2024 about how the bleeding heart liberal (Babs) who opposes the system is wrong and the principled conservative who sees things in black and white (Gordon) is right. Especially not one with Rucka on the writing team.

Episode 8 was fine, since they included all the Robins except Tim I’m curious if Tim will end up being the one who becomes Robin (if anyone ever does). Otherwise I don’t get why Timm was not able to use Nocturne back during BTAS if this is what he wanted to do with her, she’s an energy vampire like Parasite. No blood. Maybe his old design was too horny for the censors? This Nocturna is clearly Wednesday Adams

Onomatopoeia doesn't work, his gimmick simply doesn't translate well outside of comics

Take on Two-Face here is inferior to BTAS. He’s not as interesting or sympathetic, I feel indifferent to him. They made him corrupt but didn’t do anything interesting with it, frankly it feels like a missed opportunity that they copied the DCAU approach where Harvey was friends with Bruce but never worked with Batman. Because this Harvey was corrupt, the friendship between Bruce and Harvey feels fake (and presumably given how cold this Bruce is, it was). Way to go would’ve been to either flip the reason Harvey gets scarred, and have some relative of an innocent he put away be the one to scar him, or have his corruption be a result of his and Batman’s failure to achieve meaningful results, with Harvey giving into despair before finding his courage again in the worst possible way. For that reason I didn’t find his death to be moving or emotionally impactful at all.

Arkham Asylum actually looking nice was a design choice I approved of. Makes sense that people would be assigned there or that it wouldn’t immediately be written off as an Asylum from Hell.

Why does Timm or whoever keeps pushing for him, love Rupert Thorne? Thorne is a boring bad guy, a generic mobster that Batman should crush with ease.

When it comes to Batman himself I enjoyed his characterization, and the performance of Hamish Linklater.

They leaned into this Batman being a sociopath, his unsettling declaration to Alfred as a child that he was going to make the criminals pay, and ordering Alfred to help him was chilling. Every time Alfred tried to give him advice or protect him, this Batman reacted with either cold dismissal or outright anger. Made for a good difference from both the DCAU, where the two would trade quips and clearly had a warm relationship, and the mainline where it's been outright canonized that Bruce viewed Alfred as his second father.

Too bad it looks like they’re already moving towards a more traditional take on the relationship for S2. Would've enjoyed seeing this Batman remain cold and sociopathic and having to go up against the Joker

Enjoyed seeing how uncomfortable Batman was with talking to other people, he sucked at "comforting" Babs after Harley appeared to die. Even though he has the compassion DCAU Batman had, he's somehow worse at expressing it.

Linklater did a great job differentiating the two personalities vocally. Loved when Bruce was confronting Harvey in Arkham in the finale, and when Harvey slipped into his "Two-Face" voice, Bruce used his "Batman" voice in response. Lot of Conroy in Linklater's performance which is no knock against him.

Since everyone is going to compare the two

Both are similar in a lot of ways: TCC puts a lot of focus on the supporting cast in the GCPD as does MAWS with the Daily Planet.

Lois and Babs basically serve as the deuteragonists of their respective shows.

Both include references to the wider DCU and poach villains from other heroes Rogues Galleries.

Both genderbend a villain and racebend a bunch of other characters.

Both do some dramatic changes to the villains in general, and the villains are generally the weakest part of the shows.

Both even take a lot from the DCAU, although TCC is more indebted to the DCAU than MAWS is.

Of the two though, I think MAWS is far superior. It’s got a stronger take on it’s lead, it’s got a stronger worldbuilding foundation, and the changes it makes feel like they have a purpose that feeds into the story of Krypton whereas TCC changes feels like token efforts to differentiate it from BTAS. Of the two TCC definitely got a bigger budget, especially in the fight scenes, but surprisingly there was some shoddy CGI there like what we see at times in MAWS.

I’m curious to find out which of the two ends up having the bigger impact on their respective characters. My hunch is MAWS will be more influential going forward, particularly on the Daily Planet crew.

Side note but it's ironic how everyone was doomposting about MAWS being a "Lois Lane show" when of the two it's CC who frequently ends up feeling like a GCPD show guest starring Batman. MAWS steadfastly puts Superman at the center of everything, whereas here the Gordons (Babs and Jim) feel more central to the show

Give it a C, it's a fine enough way to kill an afternoon if you're a Batman fan, but with all the Batman content out there I can't recommend it that highly. Next season we’ve got the Joker judging by the post season tease, which is probably going to be a fairly straightforward adaption of The Man Who Laughs given Brubaker is the head writer. If we get a Golden Age “serious” Joker that at least would spice things up. Hearing a Joker with a deep voice startled me I must admit.

[lokigodofaces]

The Void only appears twice, when Bob died in the Malaysian lab and when Mel killed Sentry in the Avengers tower. Which has some interesting implications to me. I still haven't really processed it all, I'm writing this as a way to get my brain to process it, so sorry if this seems a bit disjointed. But I find it really interesting that Void only appears after death. It almost seems like a defense mechanism.

It's a very dysfunctional defense system, but that's actually not that weird in some ways. Lots of our biological defense systems are also dangerous to us. Take a fever for example. Raise body temperature to kill off pathogens causing the infection, but raise the temperature too high and that's very problematic for us. But a fever very much is a biological defense system we have against pathogens, but it isn't pleasant and it can become very problematic if external measures aren't taken to help the body combat the pathogens. A defense mechanism that goes too far.

Void in a sense seems to be like that. It revives Bob's body, but there's a lot that also happens along with that. But in a way I think that different mental health concerns can feel like a defense mechanism to an extent, but not a healthy one.

I've never been diagnosed with anything, and I am doing much better now, but I'm thinking back to when I was younger when I definitely should have gone to therapy, thinking of the issues I have that do still affect me, and thinking of issues that can affect me when I don't take a medication that does have a side effect similar to depression when I forget to take it. So none of this is going to be specific to any sort of diagnosis because I never got one, but more with different symptoms I had. But in some ways, those symptoms in the moment felt like a defense mechanism. For example, I tend to isolate myself when I start to not feel great emotionally. And at first it feels better in a way I don't quite know how to describe. I'm very introverted and reserved so I can get overwhelmed by social situations, and when I'm going through a lot of emotional crap I can get overwhelmed more easily, so isolating myself means that overwhelming feeling won't be felt, that I won't have to go through yet another emotional high and low. It helps for the first week to isolate myself, to stay in my room, to tell my friends I'm busy while lying through my teeth. But it very quickly becomes unhelpful. I stop socializing, I only talk to people I have to (my roommates, classmates, co-workers) but only at a minimum, I feel so lonely and that no one can help me and that there's no point in trying to reach out anymore. I usually only break out of this isolation period with the help of a very close friend that starts to see this problem and slowly helps me out by talking to me (because if it's one of my best friends I'm more willing to talk to them, they can be the exception, and slowly that opens me up and then I'm not isolating myself anymore and I'm working through whatever other issues I'm having. But the isolation is a defense mechanism, but not a good one.

I also definitely have imposter syndrome, and this is still very current (isolation does still happen at times, but maybe once a year. Used to be way more frequent. I've learned over time that that doesn't help and try not to let myself go down that route, it only happens if I'm busy or something for real so then I genuinely don't have time to be with friends). I always feel like I'm a bad friend, a bad roommate, a bad worker, a bad student, a bad daughter and sister, a bad Christian, a bad literally any role I'm ever in. And logically speaking I know I am not. But it's hard to convince myself that, and I definitely still struggle. And I definitely give other people more grace than I do. If someone had one of the same struggles I had in schoolwork, I'd give them grace, say they were struggling to understand or didn't have time or needed help with studying or anything like that. But when I struggle I immediately jump to thinking that I'm an awful student that shouldn't even be at college. But in a way this is a defense mechanism, just a very bad one. Worse than my isolation problem, because at least that one's slightly logical. But in my experience I think imposter syndrome defines my problems to one: me. Instead of my problems being because of 15 credits and 18 hours of work and laundry and cooking and grocery shopping and roommates (nothing horrible is happening, but living with someone will always cause stress. Also one of them is engaged which is a lot of stress. And she's the first in her family to marry so she doesn't really have anyone to ask for help. And while I'm very single I have been helping my cousin who is getting married this month get some things situated so I at least know a bit about wedding planning or at least what is helpful to do as someone who is not the bride. I have her helped with some things because of this, and I have no problem with doing that, but it is yet another thing) and church and family contacting long distance friends and trying to write semi stably and helping my friends that just immigrated to the US one of which doesn't know English so she needs my help translating and cleaning and planning a trip and basic hygiene and making sure I stay healthy and keeping up with practicing my Portuguese and just trying to find time to relax etc, I narrow it down to the problem being me and my supposed incompetenece. Logically speaking that's entirely wrong, but good luck convincing my brain. But imposter syndrome in my experience is a very poor defense mechanism against an overwhelmingly large amount of tasks I am trying to complete well but struggling. And there's a lot more harm coming out of this bad defense mechanism than good.

I don't know if anyone else feels like this, and I'm sorry for low-key dumping my issues on you guys, but I wanted to explain what I meant. But to me it's kind of meaningful how Void acts as a defense mechanism. It keeps Bob alive and it attacked the people that killed him (the shadows in the Malaysian lab, it first attacked OXE at the end of the movie), but it went further than that. It started attacking all of NYC, and would have spread much farther than the city if the Thunderbolts weren't able to help Bob. Void is a very unhealthy defense mechanism, but that just makes me feel like my experiences with my issues make sense and that I'm not the only one that deals with these drastically unhealthy defense mechanisms.

Void's powers throughout the movie are a defense mechanism even when it comes to people touching Bob. Touch is a big deal, and it's not shown but heavily implied that Bob suffered from physical and/or sexual abuse from his father, which would make touch even more of a dangerous thing. So when Yelena, Walker, and Val touch him, they see their awful memories. It stops them from harming him in anyway, gives him a way to move away (when Walker "wakes up" from his memory, Bob is no longer near him), and gives him a tidbit of what type of person he is dealing with and maybe some of that information could protect him. Though it also isn't a very good defense mechanism because it affects everyone whether their touch is welcome or not, friendly or not (Val it makes sense because he felt threatened by her, and Walker had already been very antagonistic towards him so that also makes sense even though that touch in that moment wasn't with ill intention. But Yelena touching him was completely accidental and she had pushed him out of the vault to save him (obviously he didn't need that but Bob didn't know that at the time so he just thought Yelena helped save his life) and even she was affected because this defense mechanism sees everyone as threats, even people trying to help Bob), and it causes an unnecessary harm to someone else. Which reminds me of smaller things I do that I probably need to work through because it really isn't causing any benefit to me. Some of my defense mechanisms aren't just stopping bad things, but preventing people from helping me like how even Yelena was affected by his touch.

Sorry for the rant, I hope this made sense. But I haven't seen anyone talking about this aspect of Void other than that he only has appeared after Bob's deaths. But I think there's more to it than just Bob being immortal now. I think this is another dimension of mental illness. Maybe wasn't intentionally written as such, but I'm seeing it.

[athingimdoingnow]

Day 22: Unburied

Unburied is our first with content warnings, so let me share them with you really quick- Content Warnings: Violence, Death, Human Remains, Body Horror, Possession.

Skip this one if those rub you the wrong way, otherwise, let’s unearth this post-apocalyptic zombie ttrpg.

This is like, really alright. Maybe the most alright one I’ve read so far. And just to be clear, I don’t mean alright as in best, I mean this is the most 8/10 one I’ve read. Not outstanding, but incredibly solid. Let’s talk about it.

Unburied is a post-apocalypse TTRPG that takes place after the Unburial, when the dead spontaneously emerged from their graves. There are four different types of undead, those being Ashes (clouds of dust, like those cremated), Cadavers (more traditional zombies and skeletons), Rots (living embodiments of putrefaction) and spirits (operating through possession usually). The game is really about living in the apocalypse, having rules for a traditional GM and player dynamic as well as solo-play. 

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

So, this one  might be a zombie apocalypse TTRPG, but the four different types of undead, and them ALL being completely unkillable (they’re unkillable btw) makes them feel new and interesting. I think maybe I’m scoring them a little high, but honestly it’s just a fresh take on an old concept with very thoughtful levels of specificity in their discussions of how the world works as a whole. 

Mechanics: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

These are actually pretty well done. So it works with a more standard DC system, they call it a challenge rating. If you’re doing something risky, you roll the challenge. It’s a d6, plus 1 if you’re using an area of expertise, plus 1 if you prepared, and plus 1 for each person helping. Now, the challenges range from 5 to 24. You may notice that at merely 5, even when you’re using an area of expertise and prepped, if you’re alone you’re looking at a 33% chance of failure. This, I think, is awesome. Here’s why. Firstly, it heavily motivates group tactics and teamwork, and you get some real rewards for planning. Secondly, it makes the whole thing feel pretty desperate and maybe even a little hopeless, which is great for the setting. The astute among you might notice that in a five player game (this is a five player game max) it’s still near impossible to hit the highest levels of the challenges with everyone working together. Well, you can also take a sacrifice (breaking equipment, estranging a friend, etc) to roll an extra d6. The system seems, on its face, to somewhat necessitate making semi-frequent sacrifices, which is also baller. If you aren’t prepared, or you don’t have teamwork, or if you’re just unlucky, you will be making sacrifices just to succeed. And that’s awesome. This is a really cool way of incorporating the tone into the rolls. The point off actually comes from a general failure to address stuff like injury, which I feel is pretty important in the context of an apocalypse. People are probably gonna get hurt, and that probably should have mechanical impact, so… But other than what’s been omitted, everything here is great.

Post-Script: Hey, I forgot to mention this, and I’m not gonna lower the score, but the solo play rules are only okay. There’s a small handful of prompts, with no tips for setting Challenges (something the game lacks generally, now that I’ve noticed), and I think that it doesn’t really work. They feel tacked on, being present on the last page and not discussed in enough depth for my cuppa.

Replayability: ⭐⭐⭐

I could see this being a longer campaign, given that even just inside of the game itself it has really rich things to look into. What caused the Unburial? Will the players defend this settlement? Do they have loved ones to find? While this, in rules as written, is a singular goal, I don’t see why you wouldn’t move to the next goal after one or the other. The downside is, well, it doesn’t have any progression. I think that’s alright, not the worst for sure, but between that and the simple (even if pleasantly fitting for the theme) mechanics,  it’s enough for me to bump it down from 4 to 3 stars. 

Variability: ⭐⭐⭐

It’s got good variance within the system. Like sure, it’s always kind of going to be the same tone, but you can do a couple different things in that realm. If nothing else there’s a lot of differences depending on the type of undead that you have to fight, and it seems like the game promotes fighting one specific type at a time. Which is good! It’s neat, it works, makes things feel different each time.

Character Creation: ⭐⭐

The real Achilles Heel of this game. It has character creation, based on how you survived the Unburial, which gives you one specialty. It also asks you to come up with occupation, age, gender, etc, all very good stuff, all very necessary, but there’s not much in the way of mechanical creation. Usually I’ve complained about too many mechanics and not enough characterization, but this time I think that the characters have too little guidance in terms of fitting them into the world of Unburied itself. It is serviceable, to be sure, another 2.5 star situation, but it’s what Unburied is the worst at. And if your weak point is “it’s okay,” you’re doing something right.

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I really like this one. It’s simple, sweet, mechanically interesting and coherent, and it’s got some stuff I haven’t seen before in the sacrifice system. I do think it has weak points in character creation and solo rules, but those are really more nitpicks than anything else. Unburied is normally 10 dollars, but is 50% off for the next week or so. I think this one’s worth your time if you have any interest in the realm of the undead. 

[who-owl-shares]

Go to Wonderland, Alice

"Curiouser and curiouser!"

Alice in Wonderland has to be one of my favorite stories out there, it's safe to say that I've managed to consume every type of media it has been adapted to. From printed books to the fantastical movies/cartoons and games it has been featured in.

But after listening to Neville Goddard, it changed my view on the story.

I've always saw myself in Alice, a little girl who's imagination knows no bounds. So limitless that my imagination became my reality. When I was younger I loved reading books and playing with my dolls, I never really saw that line between reality and my imagination because they were in fact, one.

The line was never there, it wasn't blurry or jagged, it just never existed. I didn't need to close my eyes to dream up these realities I've created, I simply believed.

"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

My imagination has always been wild ever since and it has become useful now as I grew. I often tell my friends who knew about the Law to "Just assume it." They would frequently come to me for advice and I always answer them the same thing.

I've managed to get out from horrendous situations by using my imagination. That's why I always find the confidence to answer my friends worries when they feel they're out of control because I have went through the same phase before becoming a conscious creator.

It's a good practice to start imagining yourself being wealthy when you're still poor, to be smart when you think you're dumb, to be faithful but feel hopeless and to be beautiful if you feel ugly.

"Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle!"

Throughout my manifestation journey, I realized that there is an aspect that most people in the community doesn't discuss enough. You lose you're sense of self in the process.

Everything thought was true, everything I have learned was just flushed out my system. I lived most of my life pursuing society's, my parent's and friend's expectations of me. I never really had my own belief system and even if I did have one, without The Law, I would've easily absorbed other people's opinions as my reality without a second thought.

But just like Alice, I ran through the maze of our garden as I made my escape from society's constraints and along the way, I got curious and tripped on a overgrown root of an old tree. Until eventually I found myself falling down into this deep mysterious rabbit hole.

"Is it mad to pray for better hallucinations?"

I see this a lot and it's understandable to feel weird, maybe even crazy, for thinking that you could simply get things just by imagining them. But I would like to remind you that you have been doing this the moment you took your first breath. It's not crazy, its just different from what you're used to.

I felt uncomfortable as well when I started manifesting, it was so unbelievable to me. After years of hardships, I would stumble upon Neville Goddard's talks on YouTube and this guy was telling me that I could have everything I wanted by just imagining it? I thought it was the most idiotic thing ever.

But I felt like a bigger idiot for dismissing the most helpful teachings I've ever heard while I was going through a hard time in life. After some time of scepticism, I tried it and you could guess by now that it actually worked. I wouldn't be writing so much about this if it didn't.

To some extent you do need to be delusional, but in my opinion that's not really the word I would like to use when describing this. Why feel the need to pretend its a lie waiting to be true if it's already true?

It will feel like a lie at first but through persistence and repetition, it will have no choice but to harden into fact.

"The destruction of Wonderland, is the destructing of me!?"

If negativity consumes your brain, negativity will consume your reality.

In the game, Alice: Madness Returns, we see that all the characters, scenarios, the train (metaphor: Alice's train of thought) were all reflections of Alice's psyche, the Queen of Hearts is a great example. We can also see that her hair was longer in Wonderland compared to the real world because it was a way to showcase how much Alice had control depending on what world she was in.

And this version of Alice wasn't so happy with her life, but through overcoming tribulations within herself by visiting her own Wonderland. All the answers she wanted was within her all along.

Alice is Wonderland, and Wonderland is Alice.

From this, we could see how much of an impact our imagination can cause. Our emotions, feelings and assumptions, will find it's way to embody itself through a person or situation.

So if you keep thinking something bad will happen, it will happen, vice versa.

That's why you have to pay attention to your train of thought, not necessarily obsessing over everything that comes up in your mind but to remind yourself of where to focus your attention to when you go off track.

"We're all mad here."

After reading all of that, you may think to yourself that this is just a fun and interesting take on the cult classic that is Alice in Wonderland.

You're not wrong but I encourage you to try, run through the garden and fall down the rabbit hole. The Law of Assumption has helped me so much in my life that I couldn't even recognize the person and the lifestyle I had before learning about manifestation.

Thanks to people like Neville Goddard, they helped me realized that we always had and will have the power to create our own reality, and that no one could take away this power.

And it does feel overwhelming but peaceful at the same time, like a catharsis waiting to explode after decades of mundanity. But through your imagination you can create a brand new reality from scratch. You can create a world, a world that's built on your own terms. It's okay to live a life others do not understand.

You can create your own Wonderland.

Go to Wonderland, Alice.

[ollie-duck]

Are you pro or anti towards people who claim to be systems without trauma

Syscourse? On my Luigi mangione blog?? /j

Oh boy. My first syscourse ask. I’ve truly made it on system tumblr. Yay. (/Half sarcasm)

You’re asking the guy who reblogs rat in a coat and infernal collective all the time?

This one is going to take all your reading comprehension neurons okay? It’s not a straight answer, alright? So you have to put on your thinking cap. You can do this right? Tumblr user? You’re not going to wildly misconstrue what I said and attack me for opinions I didn’t state? Oh who am I kidding this is tumblr. Into the trenches I go…

We clarified our position earlier this year (or well, Oliver did anyway but that will only make sense later), and it’s pretty obvious where we stand if you even just search for the word “endo” on our bog,

HOWEVER, as you may also have noticed this opinion is subject to change.

On our first ever system blog (Raven-system - I believe it’s still up) back in 2018-2020 we were pro leaning endo neutral. Then we had some pretty bad experiences that involved endos and their attempts to be involved in trauma spaces, so we were pretty anti endo after that (I believe this started when we switched to system-clockwork around 2022). On our third system blog (system-starlight - 2023-4) I don’t believe we discussed our opinions on syscourse much at all.

Our opinions also tend to change alter to alter. Oliver and Annika for example tend to be EXTREMELY anti endo because they were both there when the “incidents” occurred between us and various endos trying super hard to be in trauma spaces. For Annika in particular I think this has less to do with the endos themselves and more to do with her growing resentment around being repeatedly burned by people she thought loved her. However, they both seem to be open to reconsidering, and don’t want individual endos to think we hate them. Whereas Matthew tends to be pretty endo neutral (I think he calls it “let them do whatever they want, who am I to judge”) — he’s the reason we made the second post we linked to.

Like I mentioned earlier, we’ve had some EXTREMELY negative experiences with endos (even within literally the last two weeks), and this tends to color our opinion. But, we try not to let it color our behavior. For example, we’ve got a friend who is pretty pro endo from what we can tell, and disagrees with us in other areas as well. But we don’t disown them, or yell at them, or whatever because of this. We haven’t made a three page long callout post about it. This is the principle I try to apply to all of my endo interactions.

This user box sums it up pretty well:

And since you’re here:

I actually also have problems with the system community as a whole, not just Endos. The entire online everything.

I mentioned earlier that I reblog frequently from rat in a coat and infernal collective (who is now called August zip). I agree with their opinions a lot of the time, but lately have been disagreeing with their takes — mainly as it pertains to diagnosis. August claims you cannot self diagnose mental disorders. This is blatantly false. A great deal of mental disorders are quite self diagnosable (such as misophonia, which literally says on the Google page that it is almost always self diagnosable), and this is often the only option available for people, especially in places like the US where A) it’s extremely difficult (and expensive) to get a doctor to even TEST you for it, and B) Even if you get the diagnosis, say goodbye to all of your autonomy literally forever (this diagnosis makes it extremely difficult to get a job, you can’t adopt, you can’t drive a car, your personal choices such as transitioning are far more likely to be viewed as part of the illness and thus denied, I could go on). Similarly, rat has been on the “diagnosis isn’t a privilege” train for a few days now. I disagree with that for the reasons stated above, and also because they implied that it’s not a privilege because their symptoms are so severe they NEEDED it. News flash: So do the majority of well informed self diagnosers. My symptoms being so severe that they impact my ability to work doesn’t magically make me able to get the doctors to listen to me, or make money magically appear in my pockets! The vast majority of OSDDID diagnoses are paid for out of pocket because insurance won’t cover it! Deny defend depose. That and the whole August posting people (one of my friends among them, at that) to syscringe thing (this is literally never acceptable).

My other big issue with the online system community is that it’s full of children, and this results in people like me, with usually rather covert symptoms, being told I must be faking. Being told that I’m too old to still have this disorder (I am literally only 20 dear god 13 year olds on discord I know I must seem geriatric to you but I promise I am still quite young). A lot of the endogenics online also play into this issue of peer pressuring people online into playing up their symptoms, too, but this is mainly because a lot of the endos online are ALSO CHILDREN.

TL;DR - We don’t really agree with endos, but we don’t exactly like anti endos either — the whole community is a mess I want off this ride let me out let me out let me out let me ou-

[septiccoffeefreak]

So what's the system's singlet-sona like?/hj

Well Tommy is very, very open about our plurality, so usually we don't have to use one- he'll introduce himself to new people as Tommy and right out the gate explains that other people might front later- if someone asks his name he'll say "Tommy! But I'm in a system so someone else might front later and have a different name." just, very casually and openly. This does sometimes backfire, but not as often as some people expect, actually. Our parents and friends all also know.

I also try to be open, but sometimes I get nervous and just don't elaborate or correct anything, so if they assume I'm Tommy I won't say anything out of anxiety, or if they ask my name I'll say Seán and give no further context. I do explain we're plural and stuff about half the time, though; it's something I like being open about, I just have anxiety.

But when around people we already have met who don't and CAN'T know (usually pluralphobic or generally ableist), we just use our AGAB pronouns and the name of our core (that's what we call the person who the body belongs to, so...name given at birth). As for personality and interests we go the route of just...accepting everything, I guess, since plurality can be very covert anyway. The things I'm interested in and the things Tommy's interested in and things we know other people are interested in all get blended up into a blender.

So if Tommy's fronting and someone asks him about horror movies, he'll say, yes, he likes them- even though he specifically doesn't like them at all- and I'll jump in to provide examples or trivia. If I'm fronting and someone asks if I want to go to some crowded busy place with lots of people (because Tommy is an extrovert), I'll just say I'm not in the mood right now or that I'm overstimulated and we can go later. Neither of us are huge into clowns, but we have a collection because of someone else, so if we receive a clown we'll thank the person and talk about how great it'll be for the collection.

this also happens with triggers and boundaries- we phrase all of it as "it depends" and "sometimes" and hide behind vagueness, so nothing is completely contradictory. Tommy likes hugs and physical contact and I don't, so usually we just switch quickly if we see someone is about to hug us, or if I'm given a heads up I'll just say I'm not in the mood right now, etc. instead of saying we do, or don't, like hugs. Nothing is ever 100%, it's always conditional.

There's a lot of near CONSTANT back and forth and interrupting each other to keep this up and it's exhausting; finishing each other's sentences, rushing to fill awkward pauses that happen from hesitation and checking in with each other, passing control of the body like a ball whenever the subject changes and we don't know shit about it- it's incredibly involved. I'm glad we don't have to do this often and usually for short periods, because FUCK.

For longer stretches of time where we have to do this, we'll take frequent bathroom breaks, retreat to secluded areas whenever possible, and change clothes a lot for excuses to duck out and take a moment to recuperate; little walks to the water fountain when we don't actually need water so we can have the silence we need to talk to ourselves in our head and tell each other it's okay, give some encouragement, maybe take a deep breath, and then go back in.

It's awful and I hate it when we have to do that. I loathe the stress and anxiety and being on high-alert, and the constant changing of who's talking or moving the body with no warning at all because "oh fuck someone wants to hug us and oh god they just asked about our SOAD shirt and wait shit they want to know about Tommy's comissions-" (I imagine it's even worse for anyone who doesn't have help, and doesn't host like we do, and just has to make up excuses for not knowing things or not wanting to talk about them.)

And we're terrible liars as well, so this is just about the only option. If we made up a specific character to "act" as, it wouldn't work and I think all we'd accomplish was looking suspicious and possibly splitting someone. Same with picking a specific pre-existing alter, although minus the risk of splitting.

So we didn't consciously make up a specific way to BE in front of known ableist people- a specific persona to act out- we just pretend to be one person like, at all. I don't even know if you can call it a singletsona because of that- it's just lying?? Like the only thing we want to do is hide we're plural, there's no specific characteristics we're trying to keep up, so we just lie about being plural and stay as vague as possible so inconsistencies don't show.

People tend to make up their own way of making things make sense, though, so "just lying" works perfectly fine. Those relatives just think of us as odd, socially awkward, moody, and indecisive, but still singlet. They aren't suspicious, they just decided we're a (singular) weirdo and moved along. And thank God for that, because my religiously traumatized ass could not take having a forced exorcism or something shitty like that because someone decided we're actually demons.