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yeaimsafiya · 2 months

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EUPHORIA

CHAPTER ONE* back from rehab extended

SYPNOSIS the beginning of a teenage girl named y/n who is fresh out of rehab but doesn't intend to stay clean.

FROM THE WRITER I'M SORRY GUYS!! Yes I know I was supposed to post this part FOUR FLIPPING MONTHS AGO but I got so busy with school that I forgot that I was supposed to upload (and also took a break bc school is fckin tiring). BUT ITS HERE, THE FULL CHAPTER! This chapter has most of the first half from last time but if you don't want to re-read it, please skip to the third cut of this one. I Love you guys so much and I'll have most of my chapters out when I can this and next month- Love you all, Sapiyah <3

WARNINGS Lots of unnecessary writing, female! reader, VERY LONG CHAPTER, mentions of drugs and drinking, strong sexual content, nudity, violence, adult content, adult language, scenes might be uncomfortable for some, some scenes might include mentions of mental illness'

SERIES EUPHORIA

CHARACTERS INCLUDED members of the bakusquad & dekusquad, big three(?), some characters of class 1A

NOTES MDNI! Ageless blogs will be either blocked or removed

Readers discretion is advised

Suddenly, the whole world goes dark and nothing else matters except for the person standing in front of you.

i. <3

You were once happy. Content.

Sloshing and swimming around your own private, primordial pool; Then one day, for reasons beyond your control, you were continuously and repeatedly crushed...

Over..and over.. again by the cervix of your mother, M/n.

You put up a good fight, but eventually lost, for the first time, but not the last.

You were born 3 days after 9/11, your mother and father spent two days in the hospital, holding you under the soft glow of the television, watching those towers fall over and over again, until the feeling of grief gave away to numbness.

And then, without warning, a middle-class childhood in the American suburbs.

You were sitting at the dinner table with your mother, M/n, and Father, F/n. But it appeared something else had gotten your attention, a set of numerous lights above the dinner table, in which you wanted to count.

"Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen.."

" What are you looking at y/n?"

"..."

"What are you doing? ..Y-y/n look at me."

"One, two, three, .."

"What are you doing Y/n?"

*cries*

"Id say she's suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder..."

Its not like you were physically abused..

"...attention deficit disorder..."

..Or had some type of clean water storage..

"..general anxiety disorder.."

..Or was molested by a family member.

"..and possibly bipolar disorder. But she's a little bit too young to tell."

So, explain this shit to me.

"Honey, it's just the way your brain was hardwired; Plenty of great, intelligent, funny, interesting and creative people have struggled with the same things you struggle with."

"Like who?"

"Vincent Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, and even Brittney Spears, your favorite!"

You haven't remembered much from the ages of eight to twelve. Just that the world moved fast, and your mind moved slow.

"Does anyone have an idea of what a perception might be?"

And every now and then, if you focused on the way you breathed...

You'd die.

"Slow down, just breathe"

Until every second of the day, you'd find yourself trying to outrun your anxiety.

"What's wrong Y/n?"

..And quite frankly..

"I'm just fucking exhausted"

Coming down to the kitchen, you could hear the small talk between your mother and younger sister, S/N.

"You said the doctor was in our network. How can he suddenly be out of network?"

"I can't afford it."

"Did you see that video of the girl who got acid thrown at her face?"

"What? No.."

"It's pretty fucked up.."

"Mom do you know where the tampons are?"

"In my bathroom, right under the sink."

And at one point, you'd make a choice of who you are and what you want.

"Alright s/n, let's go"

"Why do the co-payments cost $300?"

"Y/n did you eat breakfast?"

".."

"What's with the glasses?"

"What glasses?"

You just happened to show up one day, without a map or a compass..

"Attention students, we need to lockdown."

..Or to be honest, anyone capable of giving on iota of good fucking advice.

And I know it all seems sad but guess what? You did not build this system up, nor fuck it up yourself.

But then it happens. That moment where your breath starts to slow. And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have.

Then everything stops: Your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain. And everything you feel, you wish, and want to forget, it all just sinks.

And then suddenly... you give it air again, give it life again.

You remember the first time it happened, where you were so scared you wanted to call 911. Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice. But you didn't want to look like an idiot, and you didn't want to fuck up everyone else's night.

And now overtime, that's all you've wanted.. those two seconds of nothingness.

ii. <3

You spent a good portion of summer before junior year in rehab. God granted you the serenity to accept things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

"Y/N," your sister yelled from afar, greeting you after your long leave. You smiled, and whilst running up to her, tried to continue the conversation with your younger sibling.

"Hey, Come here!"

"How are you?"

"Good, I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Look at you, are you growing?"

"No."

Looking over, you see your mother standing by your family car.

"Hey," you yelled out to her, only to receive a small smile from her.

And with that. you knew it was your time to go.

"I'm very happy for you Y/n. You're about to start a brand-new chapter," Your mother says while driving you and your sister to school. You looked at her with a smile, then turned your attention back to the car window.

You had no intentions of staying clean. And yet, Jirou just moved into town.

"There's some new girl in town that I think you'll be friends with," Shoto said, with you standing beside him in his store.

"Who?"

"Shit, I don't know. She came in looking all punk rock and shit; So I'm thinking to myself, like, 'look like somebody Y/n would be friends with'."

Which was sort of a dead-on observation for Shoto, who's not normally revolving in the same direction as planet earth.

"So how long have you been back?" He asked.

"About five days."

"And how are you feeling?"

"I mean, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good."

"Word? That's what's up," You chuckled at his snarky remark, giving him a small smile.

"I'm fucking with you," you said whilst laughing, "It was a joke."

"Shit, hey, I don't judge," he defended, hands raising to just above his chest.

"But for real, is Deku in the back?"

"Are you serious?" Shoto questioned, seeming very disappointed in you.

"What, you think cause' I went to rehab I stayed clean?"

"I mean, ain't that the point?" he asks.

"Yeah, well, the world is coming to an end, and I haven't even graduated high school yet."

You gave Shoto one more smile before going to Deku, whilst Shoto stared at you the entire way there; There was a hint of sadness in his eyes, but since you were too busy looking for Deku, you didn't see.

You opened one of the doors of the refrigerators, leading you right to him with a bowl of fruit loops,"I thought your ass was dead," he said one he saw your appearance.

"And I thought you had Asperger's till I realized your just a prick," you barked back.

"This a fickle industry, y'all come and go. I'm just trying to stack my cash, pay off our mortgage," he said while pulling out a bunch of plastic bags out of a microwave.

"So what the fuck do you want?" You gave him a knowing look before he handed you needed.

"You sure you don't want to try something new?" He asks you.

"Like what?"

"2C-T-2, 2C-T-7, and 5-MeO-DIPT."

"I'm sorry I have no fucking idea of what you just said."

"It doesn't matter," he stated, "but this shit, is fucking lit."

"What is it?"

"N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine. It's a fast-acting psychedelic."

Got some similarities to LSD, but with, like, key differences. Not as visual as shit, but definitely a sense distorter.

"What's wrong?" That same dark purple hair girl questioned.

"I'm just so happy," you responded back.

"I don't know, this shits been going off in Tampa, and mad people like to fuck with this," Deku continued on with his descriptions with the drug.

"Okay. Yeah, why not."

"That'll be 120."

"Oh uh, Shoto said he'd spot me."

"Shoto doesn't spot nobody."

"Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount, so you should ask him."

"And I will go ask him, cause' I know your full of shit."

Those were the last words he said before you walked out. Those were the last words you heard before you saw the same two boys in their freshman year.

Bakugo and Kirishima.

iii. <3

In truth, you really didn't have a problem with Bakugo, but that was before all the bullshit with Jirou. I mean you never liked him, and once, during freshman formal, he tried fingering you on the dance floor without your consent. But like... This was Japan. And if they were throwing an end-of-summer party...

"Yo, I'd do it for Y/n! Haha!"

..Of course you'd fucking go.

"Yo, the whole world's gonna be talking about how Kirishima threw the grimmest banger of the summer," The blonde had said, driving in the front seat.

"I don't know bro. You know my mom's a real OCD. She sees one little scratch on the wall, the dishes are out of order-" His red-haired friend said before being interrupted.

"We'll just take a picture of everything. We'll put it back the way we found it."

"The fuck is this? Mission Impossible?" The red-haired asked.

"Could you please stop fucking worrying about your mom? You need to be worrying about all the pussy that we're gonna smash tonight."

"No, no, no, nonono, isn't Ochako coming tonight?"

"Who cares, I'on give a fuck. She's the one who broke up with me in the first place; So fuck her."

"See, no, 'cause she's crazy bakubro. I don't need her coming here and burning my house down."

"Shut the fuck up you red-haired bitch," he snarled back.

"See this is exactly what I've been talking about. Right here," the blonde haired said at the sight of the purple haired girl riding her bike, headphones in her ears; Jirou.

"Bro, don't do anything stupid. Come on let's just go" Kirishima protested, he was not with the blondes idea. But the blonde ignored him as per usual.

"Yo what up B! How about you come and ride this dick?" He yelled at the indigo haired girl, in which she raised the finger back at him.

He laughed at her as she fell from her wobbly bike, slashing her knee onto the pavement; While the red-haired sat and stared.

"What the fuck bro?!" Kirishima replied, concerned as to why his own best friend would do that but cmon, lets be real, it was Bakugo.. he didn't care.

"Whoops."

Jirou moved from the city to the suburbs right wafter her mom and dad had gotten a divorce. She doesn't really like to talk about it, but dads almost never get full custody, so you know some shit had definitely went down.

She went to about three weeks of summer school with Tsuyu, who failed Intro to Visual Arts.

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ |

"Guys, do you think my areolas look weird?" The pink haired known as Mina asked, right out of the blue.

"No, they look fine to me kero," Tsu replied back; confused as to why she would ask a question like that.

"But like on the edges though.."

"Mina, they're fine."

"Okay; fine like they look strange or fine like nobody's going to notice them?"

"Fine like shut the fuck up Mina; You're over-exaggerating ," A black haired girl known as Momo had said from the bathroom, annoyed by the brunette's self-degradation.

"Disgusting, I look absolutely disgusting."

"Mina, you need to snap the fuck out of your delusions, your hot as fuck! Bakugo's just a big ass loser who cares?" Tsu argued back.

"He's not just a 'loser'. He's a dick."

"All dicks are losers, obviously."

"Look, besides that, y'all need to walk into this party like your pussy costs a million dollars," the black haired shouted from the bathroom.

"Real, I'd settle for like, at least fifty grand."

"Fifty grand is a million dollars Mina."

"I could settle for, like, four Corona Lights and some non-rapey affection."

"That's sounds depressing."

"Either way, Bakugo's just totally ruined my confidence. I thought he was different but he's just one of those people who are constantly criticizing everything about you."

"Yep. That's about almost every guy."

"Honestly, you just need to catch a dick and forget about your troubles."

"Girl, you just need to catch a dick."

"Seriously, Uraraka, the best thing to do after a recent breakup is to fuck someone completely new, and then move on."

"Please, Momo, remind me again how many guys you've fucked before? And yeah, cat-fishing, that don't count.?"

"Tsu, could you not be a fucking cunt for like, 15 seconds?"

"Hey Mina?" Her father questioned, walking in with no knowledge of the situation in front of him; causing a reaction out of her.

"Dad, stop being a damn pervert! We're literally, like, all naked in here!"

And with that response, her dad had left without a sound.

iiii. <3

"Y/n, where the hell have you been?" Your mother asked, upset and concerned.

"I just went out to eat, nothing else," You lied

"What the hell do you mean, 'you went to eat'?" She questioned.

"What?" You questioned back whilst walking away to calm the situation. However, your mom wasn't going to till she had her answer.

"What?! Don't you walk away from me." She yelled whilst continuing to follow you. And if you'd look close enough, you could visibly see that she was pissed by the way her face heated up.

"You know what, Y/n? I don't even think I can trust you anymore at this point."

"Mom, I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to tell me where you were."

"I just said I went to fucking eat!"

"Don't you talk to me like that! You know what? I'm gonna drug test you." She said, but in response, you had slammed the door to your room out of anger and frustration.

"Don't be slamming no doors around here."

"It was an accident."

"I don't care. You're not leaving this house until you take a drug test."

"I just peed!" You shouted, slamming another door in the house.

"Slam another door."

"That girl's gonna be the death of me."

Now see, there's a few ways to beat a drug test. The first is simple. Just stop doing drugs. But if you're in a bind and totally fucked, there are some others.

Option one: niacin. It's a B vitamin that, like, breaks down fat and chemicals or whatever, and if you take a lot of it, like 2,000 milligrams, then chug a few gallons of water, you can flush your system in two to three days. The only problem is, it has a few side effects. Skin flushing, extreme dizziness, vomiting, rapid heartbeat, and sometimes death. I don't recommend it. Nor does any legit drug site on the internet.

Option 2: synthetic urine.. Yeah, fucking right

Option 3: get a non-drug addict friend to piss for you. The only problem is... ...most over-the-counter home drug testing kits come with a heat-sensor strip that detects the temperature of your urine. And if your parents watch you pee, you can't really do the sink trick. So you gotta get it fresh.

"Hey, Rue."

"Hey, I... I need a favor."

"What?"

"I... like for real, Uraraka."

"What?"

"Side effects of this option?"

"Are you serious?"

"Please. Thanks."

"Hey, Rue. How was rehab?" The brunettes mother questioned, sitting on the couch whilst smoking a cigarette.

To be completely honest, it was Shit. But you obviously weren't gonna tell them that were you?

"It was good. It was really good," you lied.

"Well, that's good. How long have you been back?"

"Five days."

"Oh. New chapter then, isn't that great!"

"Mom."

"Hmm?"

You and Uraraka have known each other since pre-school. And like, in some ways she's your best friend, even though you think you've grown apart. You don't really have much in common anymore.

"Did you meet any cute guys there?" Her mother kept asking while you were talking to her.

"Here's that eyeliner."

"Thanks."

"Mom, I have to pee!" You yelled as she entered the bathroom, watching you before her very eyes.

"I wish we could do this in a way that wasn't a complete invasion of my privacy."

"Well, you lost your right to privacy after your overdose."

"That was a mistake."

"Don't be flip, Y/n."

"Could you... Thank you."

You don't understand. This was the most frightening moment a mother could witness. And S/n... ,S/n who absolutely idolizes you...

"Listen, I know Mom.."

"To have her find you unconscious..."

"Can we just... Can we not do this right now, Mom?"

Rue?

Rue.

Rue..?

I know a lot of people probably hate it right now, and you probably get it. If you could be a different person, I promise that you would. Not because you specifically want to, but because they do. And therein lies the catch.

"I'm sorry... for slamming the door earlier."

"It's okay. I forgive you. Come here," she said, embracing you in a 3 minute hug; almost as if she was going to lose you to somebody.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I spend the night at Uraraka's?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Thanks."

"..Yeah."

All work is subject to copyright by © yeaimsapiyah as of 2024.

Do not steal, use or re-upload my work without given my permission or consent. If so, you will either be blocked and/or removed.

#bakusqaud #drama series #euphoria #mha x reader #my hero acedamia #character x character #lgbtqiia+#mha class 1a #mha smut #EUPHORIA #chapter 1 #full chapter #edited

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stormblessed95 · 1 year

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I'm Stepping Away For A While...

Over the past week, and then some, I have been called a multitude of names in an effort to make fun of me and rude names including wh*re, p**sy, bitch, a liar, a fake, etc. I've been told I'm a fake/bad ARMY, a fake jikooker, etc. Ive had people call my friends deragatory names and misgender them. And I've also had someone in my DMs try to gaslight me into believing that this was not harassment or Bullying, but that I should apologize to my followers for threatening to block people and that people were just expressing strongly worded commentary over how my actions hurt them. And that I needed to take responsibility for creating the drama at all. And none of that is okay, and honestly it's been a lot. And the way people just brushed over the name calling and harassment regardless of if they disagreed with me or liked me, that was a lot too.

Blocking people to curate my space is not harassment or bullying or disrespectful. Its simply protecting myself and trying to curate a safe space for me personally. Nor have I ever started a hate campaign to try and drive another blogger off the platform. And if a post of mine encouraged people to send messages or hurtful asks to someone else, and I KNEW about it, I would've said something and asked them to stop. Sharing an opinion or disagreeing with someone is not me sending anyone hate. Nor would I ever want that for anyone regardless of any disagreements we had over whatever topic.

I've lost quite a few followers over the past week, people believing things that are being said and that's fine, i was never here for the numbers anyway. Id rather you unfollow or block me peacefully if you dont like me or my posts. Some of the people engaging with this hate against me were honestly surprising. But it is what it is. But I don't feel safe in this space anymore. I honestly haven't for a while. Blogging isn't as fun anymore. I don't want to post while it feels like a chore. And that's not because of anyone or anything in particular. I opened this blog because it brought me joy and it was fun. And it's really sad that something that brought me happiness is no longer doing that for me. It's not just all this drama either. It's probably been awhile coming, making my timeline posts for longer posts felt more like something I had to do for you all instead of something I wanted to do for me. And that's not what I want for this space.

So I'll be stepping away for awhile. When or if I come back will depend on if I can get that joy back for doing this and I feel like this can be a fun corner of the internet for all of us together again. And also for if I feel like I can do this without it being so mentally draining and just not good for my mental health like it has been lately.

I'll leave my blog here and my masterlist because I know that a lot of people enjoy the archive of some past content I have cataloged there. I don't want to take that away from anyone for that reason alone since I want people to be able to access that content if they can't otherwise find it. I also want the option to be able to come back to this blog again at some point. So I don't want to delete it or say I'm stepping away permanently, nor do I want people wondering what happened to me or anything. I just need a break. I do apologize for all the post series I have started that are remaining unfinished now for a little while.

If you want to unfollow me knowing that I'll be absent from here for awhile or for any other reason, that's totally fine. Honest. No hard feelings. I wish you well and hope everyone will continue to do well and enjoy the next few months of music, content and love from the members. Maybe I'll try to be back in time for JJK1 whenever that happens.

Again, this is just something I need. I'm okay, I'm not hurt or upset. I just need a break. I appreciate you all understanding. I'll still be in this fandom and be ARMY for life. I'll still be around for the next day or so. Thank you for understanding. I do love you guys and hope to back as soon as I'm able to.

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dovahkinniez · 2 years

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this is an absolutely, shamelessly feral idea- but i hope you’re up for writing submissive, bound farkas in sexual denial 😇

+ no pressure to write it ofc if u don’t like writing for submissive guys!

i saw another fic by someone else with the trope of farkas gone feral from his wolf blood, and asked to be bound down to his bed to try and calm himself, he wears a muzzle that muffles his speech and secretly wears a chastity belt underneath 👀 And so i thought up this continuation of the trope and was hoping you’d write it for me (istg ur work is so good i have like it all archived) Btw the fic is called Wolfs Blood I'm pretty sure.

maybe it would be his wolf blood acting up that made him not realize his internal desires, how he actually wanted to be in this situation for sexual pleasure rather than to calm himself, but he slipped up. being bound to his bed, unable to tell anyone to release him, muzzled and strained by his chastity belt? It would be so unlucky for him to be especially horny and turned on that night. such a pitiful sight for him to be effortlessly struggling in his binds, hot breath escaping his muzzle, demeanor cracking. DESPERATELY trying to release his core from its prison; but just simply can’t. And so effortlessly turned on from the fact that he can't. maybe the reader (who farkas def has a wild crush on at the time) would be the only one awake at that time, only one hearing the grunts and near silent wails from the other room, the only one to investigate it, opening the door to such a sight 😳

being so clouded by desperation and denial, embarrassment and self control completely subsided him as an affect of his heightened wolfs blood making him so honest; he would beg the reader to help him through muffled words. He would have meant for them to release him, to take off his muzzle even- but the reader would have other (consensual) plans, determined not to lose this opportunity to make the oh so strong farkas SOB.

( I honestly didn't plan on making the trope so descriptive but I think I had a little too much fun- still dont really know how you're supposed to request things here.. Nevertheless id b so happy if u could use it 2 make a smut or something. If u don't want to, that's completely okay!!!!!)

` 𖤓 . . . FARKAS.

First of all, thank you so very much for the compliment! I love seeing you guys tell me you like my writing, like fr makes me so happy.

(18+) I did do a semi sub! farkas fic not long back, but it just didn't involve kink, so maybe you'd also like to read that if you haven't. But as I said, it wasn't sub sub, ya get me? Idk. ANYWAY! Yes, submissive men >>>. Gotta love em, I just don't write it out a lot due to the fact most people like them dom (tell me if I'm wrong). So hell, yeah. I love this idea, and the idea from the fic you told me about (I haven't ever read it though). But I have once read a few anime character fics that work along the same lines so I am familiar with the whole 'in a rut and can't control self' thing, and I love it. :D

So credits to the op who wrote that fic, I don't want to steal that person's idea, of course.

I will try and make this as gender neutral as possible, but there may be mentions of a female bodied reader, I'm sorry if I do and that makes you feel uncomfortable, I adore you all. And enjoy!

18+ only! Sexual content ahead, minors dni!!

Hours. That's what it felt like. Fingertips burning as he tugs at the restrains, trying to find some release. It's not working. Eyes glazed over with frustration and desire, his blood is burning through his skin, he's counting down the hours until this...curse...wares off. Hoping the ache in his body subsides, so he can feel normal again. The ceiling grows misty from his lack of vision as he pushes his hips up, feeling the metal of the chastity belt rub against his needy flesh.

Gods, he needed release.

Whining and grunting as he aims to gain as much friction as possible yet it isn't enough. Feeling the hardness of his cock strain against the solid metal stings as it grows tighter against his skin, fuck it hurts.

Asking to be restrained but a few hours ago he didn't expect to feel this worked up already, he knew it'd be bad but not this fast. He feels his body changing each rut he falls into and since meeting... someone. He's noticed his desires increase until it hurts, now he's completely feral as he attempts to grind his restrained cock against the belt, all while thinking of you.

He wants you so fucking bad its driving him crazy.

You walk back in from a night's work, shaking the adrenaline off your limbs; wiping blood from your face with your hand, which is smeared in just as much blood. Cringing at the taste of the blood you make you way into the sleeping quarters, it's silent. Not wanting to make noise you creep around, hearing noise from Farkas' room you freeze slightly, hoping maybe he could help you with some clothes as you didn't want to wake anyone up making a ruckus to get a change of clean clothing.

This had became a routine, as Farkas stayed up late at night he became the person you'd go to if you needed anything after a late night job. In reality the night time was the only time you had Farkas to yourself, enjoying his company uninterrupted and without eyes watching, where you could be yourselves. You found Farkas more comfortable in speaking around this time.

Slowly opening the door the heat hits you, taking your breath slightly at the sheer temperature in the room, Farkas felt you by the door. He could smell you and the blood that coated your form, biting down onto his bottom lip as he pulls on the restraints until it burned at his skin.

"Y/n.." By Dibella. His deep voice broke out into a cry of desperation, the sight took you by complete surprise yet something in the air compelled you to shut the door behind you, watching him closely as he moves his body on the bed, in an attempt to try and get you.

Walking closer you take in the details, feeling the arousal seep through your veins, it was intoxicating as the heat from his body radiated through the entire room. "S-Stop..." "Stop what?" You reply as you watch the sweat on his heaving chest, the way his stomach sucks in as you grow closer, how his back arches, his thighs cling together, tight and muscular. "You're making it worse." He barely growls out, whines passing his mouth as he falls back, watching you with dozy eyes. "Do you need help, puppy?" "Don't tease me." Inside he was begging, pleading and the way his hips push up tells you exactly just that.

Smirking, you begin to realise the power you hold in this situation. He's ready, hot and looking at you with needy eyes, all for you to play with. He notices your smirk, the way you snake your way onto the bed, watching his body as he shakes from not only the rut but now you too. He's always wanted this.

He just didn't realise how badly.

Slowly taking off your armour, he watches with bated breath. "Tell me, do you need help?" You ask again, he watches the blood drip across your naked form as you take ahold of his legs, parting them between you as he lifts himself up, he could cum alone at the sight and smell of you.

"Y/n-" "Farkas. Yes or no. Do you need help?" You cut him off, eyes sharp as he gulps with a nod, "Use your voice, puppy." You smile gently, almost innocently as you rub your hands up his muscular thighs, tugging at the straps of the belt he wiggles his hips up, wanting to be freed.

"Yes. Please. F-Fuck." He hums out, his lip almost bloody from biting down. "I need you-" Farkas whimpers out as you lean up, running your hands across his body, squeezing at his muscles and his neck as he pushes his head back, "Fuck. Me ... Please." He chokes out between breaths as you giggle while licking and kissing against his abs and v-line. "Patience, puppy." He had none. He had been wanting, needing and waiting for too long. He needed release.

You knew this. You decided to take advantage of it instead. So cruel.

"I can't-" "Ah-Ah." You smack his thigh, Farkas mutters a shy sorry, causing you to smile against his skin, "Good boy." Fuck. He felt whatever blood left up shoot right down, his cock pressing against the belt and he swore it felt as if it were bleeding from the pain. Whimpering as he attempts to close his legs, you slap his thigh again, grabbing at the hot flesh as he takes a deep breath in.

Biting and licking against his neck, bruises litter across the skin, you lick up his neck as he moans out, your fingers tangled through the raven locks of his hair as Farkas hangs his head back, like putty in your hand he follows each movement and each motion you make. Hot and sweaty under you, his body laid out ready to be fucked as he whines each time you make eye contact in a desperate attempt for more.

"You're so impatient." You hum out. He only whines more. "Do you want me to suck your cock?" You ask, he moans out, feeling his dick twitch against the metal desperately for your mouth. You laugh out, looking at him as if he were weak and pathetic and fuck, he loved it.

Slowly taking the chastity belt off you pepper kisses along his torso, releasing his cock as it slaps against his stomach, hot and heavy, tip leaking and angrily red.

You couldn't help but laugh, leaning back and simply watch him as his hips jolt, his cock twitching with need. "Please." "Patience." You shush him, running your finger across his thigh, until it reaches to his ballsack, using your hands you tug and gently massage, he grits his teeth, his cock bobbing with anticipation and all you do is watch, eyes low and glued to his face as he watches with a helpless expression, panting for more. Rubbing your hand up to his cock, feeling each vein and the wetness that formed a string from the tip to his stomach, you form a fist around him, slowly pumping, watching his dick swallow your hand as he let's out groans and whines. Fuck, he sounds hot.

You wish to stay there longer, but your mouth waters at the sight and the sounds before you, but it didn't matter how fast leaned down to move your mouth because to poor Farkas it felt hours before he noticed you slowly lean down to lick the tip, gathering the precum on your tongue before you slowly take him I'm your mouth, your jaw expanding until it hurt due to the thickness he bared. "Ohhhhhh ..... Fuck yeah." He breathed out, louder than he expected. Biting down on his bottom lip to mask his moans and to mirror the pain you were causing in his thighs as you dig your fingernails into them, gripping tightly while trying to fit more of him inside your mouth.

It almost felt impossible, too big. Poor puppy is too large for his own good yet he shakes and moans just as well while you lick and press your tongue against him, sucking and licking while making all sorts of ungodly sounds, Farkas listens and forces his own sounds to quieten as he rolls his eyes back, leaning back onto the bed. Arching his head back as you wrap your hands around him, pumping him while focusing your sweet mouth on his weeping tip. Farkas moans like the good boy he is, "Please... I need to come.." He begs, as you rub and fist the saliva that oozed out your mouth and down his shaft.

Tears roll down your cheeks from the sheer size of the man, yet his tears where from pure frustration as you fuck his cock with your pretty mouth and skilled hands. "Cum for me, puppy. Be a good boy." You say lowly, he whimpers and arches his back as he pulls on the restraints. "Fuck - fuck." He grunts as you bob your head up and down, hands rub and please his cock and his balls as your mouth licks and sucks until you feel him pulsating, squirting cum onto your tongue as you groan, you mouth rumbling against him as you tilts your head, licking and sucking down the edges on him, licking at the oozing cum as he continues to moan out like the whore he is, thighs clenched into stone until he gives way, limp and sweaty, whimpering breathlessly as you clean him up with your tongue.

"Gods. I'm not finished." Tonight was going to be a long night. Good job you haven't fucked yourself on him yet.

#skyrim x reader #elder scrolls x reader #skyrim headcanon #skyrim scenarios #skyrim x dovahkiin #elder scrolls skyrim #skyrim #elder scrolls #farkas x reader #skyrim farkas x reader #farkas x dragonborn #skyrim farkas #farkas

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liyawritesss · 2 years

Note

can you do more reader x riri maybe a date night or something on campus

ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪᴍ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ

Character: MCU!Riri Williams x Black!Fem!Reader

Type: Fic

Synopsis: School is out for the semester, and all Riri wants is to spend some quality time with her girlfriend back home.

Warnings: Some BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER spoilers if you haven't watched the movie. Some cursing as well but overall just some tear jerking fluff

A/N: I may have went a lil sidetracked with this request. I couldn't really think of any good date night ideas on campus per se, but I do think that during the cold Riri would prefer indoor dates with her loved, and that's kind of how this came about. I hope you enjoy nonetheless! Suggested songs to listen to while reading: Lauv's "I Like Me Better".

Also, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my followers, mutual, friends, family, and important people in my life, on Tumblr and beyond. Yall have made this an enjoyable year and I can't wait to spend many more with you guys!!

Tags: @verachii @rxcently @badass-dora-milaje @babyboiboyega @inmyheadimobsessed @lunerenzo @letitias-fav

December 17th. The day that college students all across America had been waiting for since the start of the semester….the end of it.

Riri was all too happy to be boarding the plane back to Chicago. Her and her mother had packed up her dorm room the day prior, so all that was left to go back home was herself. While Boston had its perks, there was nothing there that could even begin to compare to the wonders of the Windy City. And it didn’t have the people she really cared about, either.

Speaking of, the moment she got settled on the plane, an inbound Facetime request caught her attention. The caller ID on the screen read ‘babygirl <3’. A smile instantly spread across her face.

“Hi baby!” Your cheery voice chimes through the cellular device once she answers it. “You’re just gettin’ on the plane?”

“Yeah, takeoff is in like twenty minutes they said,” Riri replies, plopping down in her seat after putting her carryon in her overhead compartment. “I cannot wait to be home. I be tired of Boston the moment I step in this bitch.”

Your giggle warms the engineers heart as she stares at you endearingly, her head leaning on the window which shows the outside of the plane. “What’chu doin’, mamas?”

“Ah, I was just finishing something up for you,” you reply, and by the tone of your voice shifting from cheery to bashful, Riri could tell it was from the nickname she had given you. Her eyebrows furrow together as you add on “It’s a surprise!”

“Oh no, what’chu don’ did now?” Riri questions, her tone playful. She breaks out into a toothy grin as she sees your face feigning hurt.

“Me? Why you always assume I don’ did somethin’ bad?”

“‘Cus whenever I come home, you always in some trouble!”

“It’s not my fault! The world just…hates me!”

“Yeah, okay, (Y/N),”

The overhead intercom beeps alive, and the voice of one of the plane staff begins to ring from the speaker above Riri. “Attention all passengers. This flight will be ready for takeoff in ten minutes. Please follow the necessary precautions regarding electronic devices, personal carry ons, etc. Thank you for flying with us, and we hope you have an enjoyable flight.”

“You heard her, babe. I gotta go,” and although your pout makes Riri want to continue the Facetime call, her resolve is much stronger than any puppydog eyes you could pull on her. “I’ll meet you when I land, okay baby?”

“Okayyy…” You reply, drawing out the last syllable of the word. “I love you. Be safe!”

“I love you, too, mamas. I’ll be home before you know it.”

The moment you saw Riri coming from the escalator, you instantly bolted to her, despite her mother’s protests. Riri virtually dropped everything in her hands and rushed to you as well, both of you colliding in a bone crushing embrace that left you two on the floor of the airport terminal, smothering each other’s faces with kisses of endearment and a many ‘I missed you’s.

“Aight, nah, y’all get up, people’s is startin’ to stare!” Ronnie warned, but it was a moment before her words registered with the both of you. You were just so happy to see each other, after basically four months apart and constant schedule conflicts. But when the reality that what you were doing may have been a teeny bit inappropriate for the airport set in, you helped Riri get her previously discarded belongings, and the three of you were off back to Riri’s home.

Ronnie spoke of some business she needed to take care of, but when Riri asked for specifics, the older woman replied “Grown folks stuff,” with a mischievous smile. And with her gaze shooting to you for a quick second, Riri suspected that whatever you had planned for her arrival, her mother had conspired, so much so that she was leaving the two of you at the house for an unspecified amount of time. Who knew a mother could be their child’s girlfriend’s best wing woman?

“C’mon, baby, just show me what it is,” the engineer whined, becoming impatient, “is it in my room? It’s in my room, ain’t it!”

“Calm down, speed-ball,” you replied, “Just keep your eyes closed and you’ll see soon enough.”

Although Riri wanted to open her eyes now, she obeyed, and kept her eyes closed as you led her through the house and to her room. You twisted the knob of the door and opened it quietly, guiding your girlfriend through the threshold. After centering her in the middle of her room, you took a step back, and told her to open her eyes. What Riri saw absolutely stunned her speechless.

Her room, with lilac walls and a variety of posters littering the walls, that once had junk neatly scattered everywhere, had been completely transformed. In the top ceiling corners, false vines wrapped around the four walls, and with them were lantern colored LED lights that shone a warm white color. Her bedding had been replaced with a more festive covering, the blanket, sheets, and pillowcases having small reindeer pattern on the white background (save for two pillows, which just had new white silk pillowcases on them). In one corner was a snack table set up with both of your favorites, most - if not all - holiday themed. And in the space above her dresser, which would have held a TV, had the projection of Netflix on its walls. Also on the bed were two matching pajama sets, with black tops and red, green and white plaid pants.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Riri breathed in disbelief, “You did all this?”

You nodded proudly. “With some help from Ms. Ronnie, she helped with the projector.”

The engineer is still in a state of shock when you come to her side, placing a peck on her cheek. “We can unpack later, but you, my darling, deserve to relax a little,” You add on, taking her face into your hands. You smile when you see her visibly melt into them. “I know MIT’s been kicking your ass.”

Riri takes the opportunity, and your closeness, to place a short kiss of gratitude on your lips. “Nah you know damn well them white folks ain’t got shit on me, mama.”

Her words make you laugh, because you know it’s true. “Aight, baby, lets get you in the shower.”

After an hour of showering and getting cute for your evening in, including a water fight in the shower, trying not to slip on the wet floor the both of you made, and taking a couple of mirror selfies in your matching pajamas, you and Riri find refuge in her bed, snacking on the various little food options you so graciously provided. Riri has her head on your chest as she munches on a bag of Takis, while the movie Gremlins is projected onto the wall above her dresser; though little attention is being paid to the movie itself, as Riri is disclosing information from the last few weeks that she was away.

It’s moments like these that Riri misses the most about being away at MIT. Sure she gets to make different gadgets and best preppy white boys in chemical equations, but nothing will ever beat coming home to the girl she loves.

“And then come to find out the fish-lookin’ nigga just needed to be baked a lil’ bit to knock his ass down-” It’s the way you burst out laughing, almost spitting out your drink, at her description of the legendary fight she was able to witness as part of the attack force in Wakanda. Riri laughs too as she looks up at you from her position on your chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, cuz it really sounds like she turned him into some grilled tilapia-!”

“-and did! And did!”

Your shared laughter echoed throughout the four lilac walls of Riri’s room, the christmas movie being played from the projector becoming obsolete to the two of you at that moment. When the laughter finally began to cease, you caught Riri staring at you. Not an awkward kind of stare, nor an examining one. Just a gaze of endearment as she placed her head on the plush of your thighs, not breaking eye contact.

“What’chu lookin’ at me like that for?” you question, bashful, at the intensity of her gaze, Riri just shrugs, and turns her head to the ceiling.

“Nothin’, just…thinkin’,” she replied. There's a slight pause, before her eyes return back to you, and she starts to speak once again.

“I like me better when I’m with you,” the engineer confesses. Riri reaches for your free hand, and you happily hand it over to her. Her words intrigue you, as you’re unsure why she randomly spoke them, but nonetheless, your heart warms at them.

As though you spoke your confusion aloud, Riri sits up, her fingers now intertwined with yours, and she continues on; “I mean- like, when I’m in Boston, it’s like I’m on autopilot. I just kinda do shit ‘cuz I have to. But when I’m here- when I’m with you…everything makes sense. I ain’t gotta stress about shit, I’on have to be perfect. I look at you and shit makes sense, y’know? It’s corny as fuck but…I really don’t know where I’d be without you, (Y/N).”

It’s a revelation Riri came to while stationed in Wakanda for her protection against Talokan. Not being able to contact you because of the secrecy of the whole ordeal gave her ample time to think about you and your place in her life. Because truth be told, when Riri was around you, she was a completely different person compared to being in Boston or being at Princess Shuri’s side. With you, life was effortless, love was plentiful, and the idea of being separated from you, the reality of being separated from you with no contact, tore her up inside.

You were truly her peace.

Riri’s words made your eyes tear up a little. The engineer was never good with words - her actions and the ability to show what she was about was something she always prided herself in - but to hear the sincerity and ingenuity spill from her lips was a gift like no other.

You took your interlocked hands, bringing them to your lips and pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles, soft and sweet-smelling from the cocoa-butter she applied onto her skin after the shower. She was heaven in your hands, and you would do anything to protect and love Riri with all your heart.

There wasn’t a need to exchange anymore words - the look in which you two shared spoke enough volumes that mother nature herself could hear the comforting silence, and take from it the love you two shared and melt away the frosty December cold and snow. And the two of you rested with your foreheads pressed together, hands holding each other, smiling like idiots in love, as the moonlight from the sky bathed the two of you in a glow fit for goddesses.

If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don’t be shy to send in a request!

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borderlinebox · 2 years

Note

Sup! hope you’re having a great day 😮💗 having childhood best friend brainrot- “you have my back right?” x “lmao probably” cheesy but I eat that shit up every time

could you write a oneshot or headcannon

for chishiya? He’s gotten/done something that’s worth celebrating (maybe it’s his birthday, got first place or a hundred on his test, got into the college that he applied to) he’s never been told by someone that they’re proud of him not even from his old man so he went on with his day expecting nothing special

But but BUT chishiya hears the familiar patterned knocks on his window, how they managed to get up there without his father knowing is beyond him but he’s relieved considering his old man isn’t all that fond with them (In this scenario id imagine that chishiya’s father wouldn’t really like us bc of our shortcomings? something like that...and if he isn’t friends with our parents)

they sneak (more like drag) him out with a lot of convincing and celebrate by going into places he would tolerate or enjoy,,rip his friend’s allowance 💸 At the end of the night they both end up on a park bench with store bought cake with messy written icing “I’m so pr he I did it bitch!!” done by yours truly. they do say it to him and give him a short side hug before he gets back home tho

Feel free to decline this! take care ⭐️

Celebrate With Me!

Summary: Reader acknowledges Chishiya's accomplishments.

Pairing: Chishiya x Reader

Warning: That good cliche shit, FLUFF, cuteness overload, not proofread!!!, changed a few things up!

A/N: ISTG I'm boutta make a Chishiya X Bestfriend! Reader bundle because these requests are too cute!! Hope you have a great day as well and take care too ^^ <3 I am incredibly happy and proud on how this turned out!!! Spent a literal 2 hours straight on it because I lost some progress and I'm gonna have my ass whooped later but this should cover the blow LOVE YALL AND THIS REQQQ ♥

Feedback is highly appreciated!!!

Chishiya sat upon his desk chair, currently finishing up some notes. Just things he's learnt or felt like he found interesting. He could use it in the future. Distant music playing from his favorite band echoed softly in his room.

There wasn't much to do. He'd recently gotten a letter from a university he had applied to - which he was successfully accepted in. He could say he was happy for himself but it just wasn't that exciting or celebration-worthy to him.

He continuously tapped the tip of the pen against the table in a rhythm, re-reading the paragraphs of various words.

SMACK

The sudden noise caught Chishiya's attention as he quickly twisted his head towards the loud noise. There, on his window, a handprint was seen as it was slowly sliding down the window, failing to stick.

Its fingers soon danced on the window, creating multiple and small taps across the glass pane without a proper flow of beat.

Chishiya sighed and stood up and opened the window to reveal his friend struggling to hold onto his window's support,

"Y/N, What are you doing here?" He wasn't at all surprised. He was just more so concerned why you were currently hanging by a thread on his window.

"I'll tell you when I get inside. Right now let's focus on the part where you shoULD BRING ME INSIDE." You flailed your legs around as you struggled to even breathe properly.

He hissed at you to stay quiet and helped you up to sneak inside.

There was a voice, somewhere in his mind where he actually wanted to leave you hanging for a while to amuse himself but that would have been a bad idea.

Once you had both your feet on the floor of his bedroom, you dusted yourself off and took a much needed breather. You had been running to his house since 45 minutes ago. It was hard with the troublesome traffic and people yelling at you as you swerved your way through them, you're just glad you've finally reached his humble abode.

"Right, Explain." He said bluntly, doing his signature move; placing his hands into his pockets. "How did you even get up here?"

You shaked your hand profusely, deflecting the topic. "Never mind that-, guess who found out when your birthday iiiisss?" You looked up at him with a tired yet mischievous grin.

"I'm guessing you."

"Me," You announced proudly while facing your thumb towards yourself, chest up in victory. "And you wanna know what I'm gonna do about it?"

"Please don't." Chishiya sighed, point-blankly. Unfortunately, there was no hope of changing the situation's circumstances because he knew when you were hooked on something, it's sure that you'll be hell-bent on getting it, no matter how stupidly dangerous or ridiculous it may seem.

You laughed before dropping down to the carpeted floor of his room and picking up your sling bag. "Now, as I was saying," Your finger dramatically pointed towards the bag. "We gotta celebrate! So we're going out and hang!"

"I really rather not." He stood his ground, stubbornly declining your offer.

"Come on, you're gonna celebrate your birthday with me!" You teased with the same playful grin you gave him. He was always so stubborn when it came to things he accomplished or failed - whether you wanna celebrate it or cheer him up. Either way, you were going to be even more stubborn than him this time.

"No." He muttered out sternly.

"Yes," You pushed with determination. "We are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No"

"Yes"

"No-"

"Why not??" You broke the repetitive, single-worded debate and gave him a sad look. "You never celebrate anything. Don't you want me to show you how happy and proud I am for you, Chishiya?"

Chishiya seemed to be broken from his train of thought at his words. He was silent, but you could tell that he was processing your words and calculating a response as if he was some kind of robot. You'd have to be honest, he kind of is one sometimes-

"Fine, I'll go and celebrate my birthday." Was all he said, his condescending look seeming to have disappeared - replaced with an unreadable expression.

It didn't feel like an answer at all - you felt disappointed. But you decided to push away those feelings for later because you were still ecstatic about your achievement and that's what mattered.

"W-Wonderful! You go get prepared or something!" You told him in a panic frenzy and opened the window from where you cam from. "I'll wait for you to climb out the window!"

And before waiting for his response, the last thing Chishiya saw of you was you already dipping out of the window and landed on the lush grass, in pain - as he presumed. He quickly changed and made his way down the stairs, being granted the permission to leave.

Chishiya would probably be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little bit concerned for your well being when you jumped out of that window.

To his surprise, when he went outside, he saw you standing proudly with a little dirt in your hair and face.

"You goof??" He asked, eyeing you up and down.

"Perfect, Great! I didn't get hurt, totally didn't - I think I sprained my wrist but that's totally fixed now." You spoke quickly, not even giving him a chance to say another word since you had grabbed him by his wrist. "Now come on! We don't have all day."

"Was this necessary?" Chishiya mutters blankly as he takes in the view of the park. It was a rather quiet, and less populated park wherever you and Chishiya both lived. Not many people visited everyday but there were still some who came often. Parks that were more widely known had a bigger crowd and you know Chishiya enough to know that he doesn't like big crowds. Especially the noise that comes with it.

"It was either this or the carnival next place." You turned to him and raised your brow.

"I think I prefer the park." He shrugged. It wasn't a bad place at all - Fairly clean and a decent view. You would sometimes come here alone and think, maybe even attempt to bring Chishiya over. But he was either busy or too stubborn to go. Thankfully, you managed to corner him.

Even though Chishiya let you take him here this time.

Both of you took your time there, having deep talks which mostly started off with why he hadn't really celebrated many past birthdays, which made you frown a lot. Chishiya thought it was half a mistake to give you that information after you had told him that you were gonna celebrate his birthday for him every year instead.

He may be lying if he didn't appreciate it.

The rest of the time, both of you walked and talked on the more philosophical topics. Just the precious quality time between two great lov friends, walking underneath the cloudy weather with strands of sunlight pushing through and landing on the cobblestone pavements.

It didn't seem much as a birthday celebration to the regular human etiquette but you could care less because both of you were having. swell time. Even if neither of you said it. It was a bonding time that didn't need the use of an explanation and more of a feeling.

Your eye was caught by a flock of ducks roaming around a side of a pond next to a woman selling duck food or pieces of bread. Chishiya must've noticed this since you had fully stopped walking and stood in place, staring at them.

"You wanna feed the ducks?" His voice brought you out of your mini daydream, he had his natural high charm evident in his face and voice.

"I, well, if you want to. It's your birthday, not mine.." You mumbled out, it was a bit low for anyone to actually process your words, seeing that you would be a little upset that you didn't feed those ducks.

"Okay then," He lightly smiles and walks his way past you with a bored yet slightly amused expression. "Let's go feed those ducks."

Like a little kid who had been given permission to sleep over at his friend's house, you giddily smiled and practically swooshed right on past him and over to the woman selling the small bits of food.

You quickly bought two small bags and handed one over to Chishiya. He took the bag filled with small, multiple pieces of duckfeed into his hands and looked back up at you. "If I'm gonna feed the ducks, you've gotta feed them too." You told him with a bright smile before kneeling down to the ducks.

Chishiya opened the bag and shook around its contents before taking out a handful and throwing it onto the ground the ducks stood upon with a blank face.

However, you had a cute and dorky smile on your face while you handfed them all equally. Some of them bit you by accident but it was no more painful than a light pinch. Your smile was bright enough to light up a whole room, Chishiya thought as he held back the urge to smile at your antics.

A chuckle from the old vendor caught both of your attention. When she noticed she sighed softly, "Sorry,"

You smiled, "No worries! It's absolutely fine! Why were you chuckling anyway?" Hand finding its way to the bag full of duck feed to gather some more and hand over the pieces to the ducks.

She grinned at the both of you. "Both of you are so cute, are you a couple?"

The question caught both of you off guard. You could quite literally feel the tension rise in the atmosphere. You felt your breath hitch and your lungs close as it denied you to breath from the sudden question.

"No! No, heh, we're just friends." You shot up with an awkward smile at the lady who had understood the tension between her and you both. You look back up at Chishiya with a nervous look on your face. "Isn't that right, Chi?"

He appeared to have froze due to your question. Or was he just standing still and silent because he had zoned out? Was he deeply immersed in his thoughts?

"No, we're friends." Chishiya confirmed. You expected that answer but you couldn't help but feel the pang in your heart when he actually said it.

The vendor nodded and apologized once again for asking such a question. She went back to her small stand to mind her own business instead.

Now you and Chishiya kept on feeding the ducks until both your bags were completely empty, all in awkward silence. Not one of you tried to break the ice since it appeared that no one had anything to say after that question.

You turned to thank the lady before leaving with Chishiya without a word.

Upon arriving back at the park's entrance Chishiya decided to finally break the silence. "Well? Where are you dragging me off to next?" He asked, raising a brow at you. You had almost completely forgotten the reason why you had went out in the first place.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." Slipping your hand into your slingbag, you pulled out a small crumpled paper and unfolded it.Chishiya tried to lean in and read but you pulled the paper closer to you. "Hey! Don't peek on the surprise." You pouted, forgetting all about the question for a moment.

He put his hand up defensively but it was no more than a sarcastic tease. "No peeking." He repeats before shoving his hands into his pockets once again. Chishiya was almost never seen with his hands outside his pockets outside of his home. It was almoat natural and expected.

Once you were sure he wouldn't peek again, you opened up the piece of paper before folding it once more.

"I got an idea."

"You looked at the paper which most likely had the idea.

"I have an idea." You repeated, dismissing his smart assness. "Follow me!" And once again, you boldly took a hold of his wrist and started to dash to whatever place you were dragging him to next.

The warm light of the welcome sign greeted the both of you as you stood outside a relatively new, and decently small café. And sketchy enough, the stores it was between in was a shady dentist's office and a run-down, forever closed drug store.

"This is the new coffee shop that opened last week." Chishiya noticed, looking up at the hangout's name to remember it. "It certainly has a sketchy location."

"That's cause this was the only place the owner could afford. In fact, they're actually quite creeped out by the stores beside it. I feel bad." You explained briefly, glancing at the side shops. "But that's not what we're here for, dear friend."

You pushed him inside the cafe and it was definitely much better on the inside than the out. It had relatively creamy walls and warm lights. You were surprised that the place wasn't filled with people. Tempting enough to keep this place as a secret, all to yourself.

"Sit the hell down." You brought Chishiya to a corner seat - which is, in a natural rule, one of the best seats a restaurant or any place could ask for - and sitting in front of him.

"It isn't a bad place, I'll give it that." Your bleach haired friend admitted, his eyes still roaming around. "What gave you the idea?"

A giggle escaped your lips, "I wanted to try it out. I actually visited the place a few days ago. It was completely different than now. They changed it a lot." You shrugged, "And I thought of you when I stepped in here. I thought you'd like the place."

Chishiya smiled lightly, which was again; rare. "It's good."

"Better than-"

"I haven't decided yet." He cut you off before you could finish which resulted in you giving him a cheeky smirk.

He couldn't help but feel good about himself when you admitted that you thought of him when you found this place. It felt truly honorable than his straight A's and cards with that big ol' red 'Accepted' on it. It was something near to a foreign feeling.

"About what that vendor said-" You were immediately cut off by a waiter coming up, asking for your orders. You coughed into your arm at the sudden surprise and ordered your preferred drink.

Chishiya glanced at you and the waiter, what was with the question? He quickly ordered his own drink as you thanked the waiter before they left.

Another set of an awkward silence filled between the both of you. He was curious about your earlier question but didn't want to push you, you looked embarassed enough after choking on your own spit.

"Don't think about it. She just made a mistake, it's fine." Chishiya wanted to say something else but decided to take matters into his own hands instead. "It's not that uncommon. Sometimes expected."

You nodded at his words. "Right.. I forgot, they have board games here! You wanna play?" You beamed up, changing the subject. He glanced his eyes to the side, finding the board games that you were talking about.

All of them were stacked on a small bookshelf that had a good amount of books on it as well.

"Sure, we'll play." He shrugged without a care. "Why don't you choose the game, Y/N?"

You hummed out a yes and took your time; reading all the board game labels. There were many of them but you wanted to try out something bold, something Chishiya would actuallu want to play with you. "Ah! Chess."

Why Chess? You finally processed your declaration.

"Oh, Chess?" Chishiya looked back at you. What a bold declaration of war. "Sure, why not."

You felt yourself gulp and begin to pray for your mistakes and for your well being, choosing a game like this against a guy like Chishiya. You've already made a decision and stood up and made your walk of shame towards the small chess board.

Bringing the board to your table, you gathered yourself the confidence and smacked the board down.

"Bring it on, Shuntaro." A smirk appeared on your face, a bold glimmer in your eyes.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." You burp out, watching your side of the chess board with bored and tired eyes. You've already accepted your death wish an hour ago.

Now you were here with two empty cups, 3 hours that passed by and found yourself with only a King and a Pawn against Chishiya's fucking army. You've paid for your drinks an hour ago and you were still here, suffering.

"You chose the game." He defended. He looked unchanged - just the same guy three hours ago. Meanwhile you sat in front of him, a hand in your hair and tired eyes.

You weren't sleepy, you were just tired of watching your entire empire fall.

"You're enjoying this, I know it. Behind those blank eyes of yours? You're enjoying this." An almost pathetically dramatic voice of sulking came from you as you connected your forehead onto the table.

You could feel him shrug in front of you.

"But alas!" You rose dramatically, "That was my plan all along!" You moved your king to the line of sight of his queen, making yourself lose. "I forfeit. Besides, we're gonna miss the best part of today!"

Chishiya watched as you obliterated yourself and throwing the chess pieces off the board and clean up. "Fun game." He responded to your actions.

"It was not at all fair." You pushed and closed the board up when you finished counting off the chess pieces and went off to put it back in respect. "You're far smarter than me and you know it."

"You chose th-"

"Yeah, Yeah. 'I chose the game' and whatnot, I get it." You echoed him in an immature tone of voice, but you'd never deny his intelligence. He technically carried you through physics and math.

He stood up and walked out beside you, hearing the same waiter who served you both give their thanks.

"The last stop shouldn't be too far from here." You were looking at that old crumpled piece of paper you had a while ago.

After just a few minutes, maybe 10, of walking, you found both yourselves in front of a popular convenience store joint that you and Chishiya always went to for a quick lunch or snack break when you were both in highschool.

You lead him to a black bench right across the small store and placed your things down, taking your wallet out your bag.

"Stay here." You smiled before running into the building.

Chishiya stared at the all too familiar black bench. No, he didn't sit, the black bench gave him an overflow of memories when you both hung out here. You and Chishiya would buy anything you both wanted and were able to buy from the store and sit out here, exchanging notes and occasionally jokes. He smiled at the thought.

"I told you to sit!" You pointed at him accusingly as you held a brown paper bag in your other arm. The sounds of the bells on the doors clinged together when you exited the building.

"I was." Chishiya turned his way to you.

"After almost 10 minutes of me being in there? Come on." You chuckled and decided to sit down on the black bench yourself. He followed right after you. "Check out what I got!"

You ruffled your hand into the paper bag with joy, tongue sticking out and biting softly on the muscle. "Boom!" You cheered when you took it out.

It was a small almost medium, cute pink cake - which was his favorite whipped strawberry flavor - with Chishiya's favorite cookies decorated on the outer curve.

You handed it to chishiya with the same dorky smile you had when you were feeding the ducks at the park. He observed the writing on the cake with narrow eyes.

'Hapi'

'You de'

'Congratatulations!!!'

Despite the spelling error, and the very messy writing, you still smiled like an idiot and Chishiya couldn't help but appreciate the fucked up cake. He actually showed you his smile that time.

Can you believe it? Making Chishiya smile 3 maybe even 4 times today?

It made yourself smile even wider that you had to put your chin on your hands.

"You spelled 'Congra-"

"I'm aware of my mistake Chishiya but there's clearly no more room for anymore mistakes on that cake." You pointed at the cake which really did have no more room for anymore icing.

He exhaled with a smile, his way of laughing or chuckling at you genuinely at best, before opening the plastic lid.

"Oh and, if you want anymore of your bland ass cookies, there's more in the bag. Can't understand why you like that crap." You jokingly gave him a cringed look and stuck your tongue out in disgusted exaggeration. But, you got it for him.

"Fork?" Chishiya asked, looking back up at you.

"Oh shit, yeah I forgot." You opened up your sling and pulled out two plastic forks. "I figured that there wasn't going to be any free forks in the store so I decided to bring some."

Handing him one, you were more than ready to eat the cake with him.

As both of you dipped in for the first bite, you both heard the sounds of popping in the sky which caught Chishiya off his guard.

Fireworks were in the sky. All different colors, blending in so well in the night sky.

"Would you look at that." You said in awe through the cake in your mouth. "I wonder who put that there."

"You did something, didn't you?" Chishiya looked at you, unamused but still appreciative. You could tell it through the way how soft his eyes looked. It was much softer and quite happier than usual, and you were proud.

"I may have asked some friends." You shrugged, meeting his gaze.

Both of you had not only the warm light emitting from the convenience store, but the different colors of the fireworks that temporarily glowed on both of your faces.

You thought he looked so pretty in all of the colored sparks of light. You could get used to his eyes if it were like this.

"I'm really happy and proud of you, Chish." You said all full of truth, hitting his shoulder playfully. "You need to hear it sometimes, no?"

"I guess." Chishiya answered with a shrug again, lifting another fork full of cake near his mouth. "Thanks, I think."

You chuckled, finally hearing those words come out of his mouth felt so satisfying to you. You were even sure he never really said it all to anyone. The sparks in the sky continued to flash in the sky all so beautifully. "Don't mention it."

Maybe he could get used to this, having someone like you. It made him feel all warm and proud for once.

#aib #alice in borderland #alice in borderland x reader #chishiya x reader #x reader #chishiya shuntaro #aib x reader #chishiya shuntaro x reader #box writes #chishiya

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ariel26c · 1 month

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im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Babe don’t stress yourself out. If you don’t like visualizing then don’t do it. Do what you wanna do not what others are doing. You don’t need to visualize perfectly anyway. I think most people don’t visualize in perfect detail. Make your own method if you enjoy doing methods.

Create your own rules for manifestation because as long as you persist that’s what matters. Feeling isn’t that important. I know some say feeling like it’s yours is necessary to manifest but it’s not. Don’t worry about not feeling the feelings and simply persist. Also stop trying and simply be. Choose to be a winner in life. Choose to be successful. Choose that you live life on easy mode.

Thinking as if you were the best version of yourself. You are so powerful that you could literally have anything. What others have done to you simply needs to be let go and focus on the now because now is when you’ll get to love your dreams. You’ll live a better life than all those losers who hurt you. Doubts hold no power over your manifestations. Accept them and move on. It’s done because you say so. Period. It’s okay to not believe.

Stop searching for posts if you’re not apply what you’re learning. It’s pointless to scroll and scroll and search if you’re not even trying. You can do this my love. No matter how you feel or how many doubts you have you are still God at the end of the day. What you want you can have if you simply allowed yourself to have it.

In other words:

1. Doubts don’t matter.

2. You don’t need to feel it real.

3. You don’t need to believe.

4. What you’ve gone through in your past doesn’t matter because there is now.

5. If other people can experience happiness and get what they want then so can you.

6. Don’t worry about doing things perfectly. Visualize but if it stresses you out don’t do it. Make it easy for yourself by doing what you wanna do.

7. Simply persisting is all it takes.

#desired reality #law of the universe #affirmations #manifestation #manifesting #law of assumption #self concept

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lemmetreatya · 2 years

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Husband!Reiner x Black!fem Reader

this isnt as hunky dory as i initially thought this to be but i think its still a valid insight into life with rei. surprisingly ive been having a lot of news, convos and experiences with various people in my own life about marriage and children so i guess this post was a subconscious embodiment of that. either way, enjoy 🫶🏾

Husband!Reiner knows he lucked out in bagging you and he absolutely adores people coveting him. everytime he tells someone hes cuffed, he literally cannot wait to show them a picture of you

Husband!Reiner always spoils you when it comes to bringing home gifts. Its rare that he ever comes home empty handed. more times than less he’s entering in with your favourite snacks or maybe a bracelet he thought suited you whilst he was on break earlier in the day

Husband!Reiner isnt picky when it comes to food. that man would eat just about ANYTHING you feed him and say how its the best thing hes ever tasted. not that youre a bad cook, but he’d find a way to praise even the simplest of meals.

“god, baby, this so good!” reiner’s cheeks were bulging full of food whilst he gave his compliment.

with a sweet laugh, you shook your head whilst opening a beer for him by cocking the tin lid with an opener.

“its literally just rice and stew. you eat it all the time by now.” placing the bottle next to his plate, you bent down to kiss his forehead.

he made a grunt of disagreement.

“dont change the fact that it’s always so good!”

Husband!Reiner is quite reserved when it comes to intimacy and sex. the furthest he’d go in terms of public displays of attraction is hold your hand or a quick peck on the cheek. he’d occasionally lean his chin on your shoulder when in the presence of other company.

however, in the private presence of each other, his attitude towards public reservations has never stopped him from pulling you to the side for a quick fuck before you go out with the girls or letting you go down on him once parked outside his family home for a visit.

Husband!Reiner isnt the best with chores. He tried to help in the past, and has the utmost purest intentions when offering his help, but his standard of clean isn’t the same as yours and so you believe you’re better off just doing everything yourself.

Husband!Reiner is really handy with manual labour tho!! if anythings broken around the apartment hes more than happy to get on it right away. if hes unsure how, he’ll find a tutorial on youtube and work it out from there

Husband!Reiner helps with all the tricky stuff with your hair. whether it be helping you to twist it before bed, wash day or being a live wighead for you to style your pieces — he’s available.

he learnt especially for you but always says if he’s possibly going to have a black daughter one day then hes gonna have to learn.

Husband!Reiner wants kids. its one of the few things the two of you disagree on and several arguments have lead out from that. he loves kids in general but he gets particularly broody whenever he babysits or goes to visit his baby cousin gabi.

it also doesnt help that Husband!Reiner has a particular breeding kink. hes okay with you going on BC because that’s your business and it means he can bottom out anytime! but it does sadden him that in result it means he cant give smol gabi a playmate

“i just think it’d be nice for her to have someone to play with!” he said as he tooths another parting in your hair with the metal rod of the comb. he gingerly took a scoop of hair grease from the tub before layering it down onto your exposed scalp.

“but rei, thats not your— our —responsibility to deal with. its her parents job to give her a sibling if need be so you gotta stop stressing about it like it’s your problem to solve.”

the man was quiet for awhile as he continued to grease your head. when he sighed, he looked over at the two of you within the mirror.

“i know.” he said after awhile. “i just…i never had any siblings or cousins growing up, you know? i don’t know if id want her to go through the same thing i did.”

Husband!Reiner is very family oriented. even though its just the two of you, he still tries his best to make the most of holidays and time off. he always insists you have at least two ‘holidays’ to yourselves a year — sometimes abroad, sometimes on an excursion or even just a spa weekend away. that way when it comes to festive holidays, there isn’t a feeling of fatigue from NOT spending time with each other, meaning you can spend it with extended family and not feel drained from lack of timeout

Husband!Reiner smokes as a habit rather than a coping mechanism. his favourite brands are malboros but you absolutely hate the fresh smell of the smoke once hes come to you after one. he doesnt smoke as much as he did when you first met him.

(back then, he promised to ween off of them if you were to give him a chance! — he did for awhile but after he got closer to the Jaeger’s around a year ago, he picked up the habit again. that’s another thing you two argue about)

“reiner, that fucking stinks. get the fuck outside with that shit, i’ve told you about smoking that nastiness inside here.” you say, flailing your arms by your side as you walk into the living room.

turning around with a face of confusion, reiner spoke slowly in a low tone.

“but i literally am outside, im on the balcony.”

“then close the door! all that smoke is coming inside and it’s stinking up the place.” you exclaimed.

“but i wanna watch the match at the same time.” reiner pointed towards the tv but you could only shrug.

“watch it through the window then.”

“but then i wouldn’t be able to hear the tv!”

“reiner james braun, i swear—”

reiner didn’t want, nor wait, to hear what else you had to say to him. with a grumble beneath his breath, reiner complied and leaned backwards to slide the balcony door shut, the action slightly shaking the walls.

Husband!Reiner is hospitable but mostly for people he’s used to. he loves setting up gatherings for your friends to come round and enjoy each other’s company. since uni, a lot of you haven’t been able to see each other a lot but reiners a bit like the glue that keeps everyone in touch

however, since all of you know each other from around the same time (and because they paired the two of you up!) your friends sometimes felt responsible for your relationship and were weary of any ‘threat’ made towards it

“you two thinking of extending the family anytime soon?” mikasa said, her voice hushed as you, her and annie sat on the balcony and away from the bustle of everyone else inside

you made a noise of surprise at her inquiry.

“actually, we have been! i was thinking of getting either a cat or a puppy. im not too keen on dogs but they say if you nurse them from young, you can get them to behave really well.” you deflected as your mug of hot beverage made its way to your lips.

with an amused hum, annie side eyed you.

“you know thats not what she meant.” she said as she took an inhale of her cigarette. “she’s talking about kids and you know it.”

as soon as annie spoke, your mood suddenly soured. with a huff you looked up towards the night sky.

“why does everyone keep asking me this question? im sure no ones asking pieck and porco this shit and they’ve been together longer than us. or you and bertholdt! so why is it me thats always being asked this stuff?”

mikasa shuffled awkwardly in her seat. hugging the blanket she had over her higher towards her chin, she made a dejected sound before speaking. from that alone, you knew she was reluctant to say her next words.

“yeah but…you dont see either of them loudly proclaiming their contrasting ideas. all of them have decided between each other what they want and seem at peace with that. but reiner’s like…the broodiest man ever and never fails to remind us. the fact that you two dont have kids yet means there’s obviously a hold up on your behalf.”

at mikasas bold words, a dry laugh left your mouth. was this seriously the conversation you were having right now?

shrugging your shoulders, you gave her a wild look

“so?! is it such a bad thing for me to not want them? why’s everyone coddling around reiner and his needs of wanting kids? whys no one thinking of me — the person whos gonna have to carry said child and be their primary care giver — who says im ready to give this life up for that?! why’s no one taking my choices into consideration?”

softly hopping in her seat, mikasa briefly hid her face behind the blanket before pouting over at you.

“i am taking you into consideration! and i know! and im sorry for bringing it up again. eren put me up for asking because he says hes sick of reiner’s whining in the guy’s groupchat. you know im on your side regardless.”

mikasa laid her hand over on your exposed arm, her face laced with remorse but you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discontent at the knowledge that reiner was vocal to your friends about you not wanting children.

blinking forwards, you could only weakly shrug. even though mikasa had given her reasoning for asking, you still couldn’t help but feel slightly betrayed

“i know, man but just… miss me with that bullshit. i know what im saying when i say i don’t want em right now.” you mumbled, now feeling more conflicted than before.

that night, you and Husband!Reiner have a bit of a honest conversation about how reiner talks about the whole kid thing with his friends. hes very quick to assure you that he doesn’t talk bad about you behind your back but tells them that he cant have them right now when you have a contrasting opinion to him

you personally dont have a problem with that because these were your friends too — theyed be quick to g-check reiner if he ever said something less than positive about you and then report it directly to you

but for the sake of the situation and with how sensitive it was, you asked reiner if he could refrain from sharing that personal aspect of your life with them

“i know i’ve said it way too many times now but im truly sorry for all this. mika was wrong for asking you that.” reiner says as you lay under his arm. you found solace by burying your face into his side.

“well i dont blame her. if you’re constantly telling people in the groupchat that kinda stuff then yeah, of course they’re gonna feel like they have to intervene. they’re our friends and they only want the best for us.”

you could really tell reiner was thinking this all over in his head by the way he made subconscious groans.

when he had finally made up his mind, he slightly bent down to kiss your forehead.

“yeah i guess so. i wont bring that stuff up again, im sorry for putting you in that position, baby.”

the two of you laid up next to each other, and went on to talk about other miscellaneous things. however, just when you were about to fall asleep, you tiredly mumbled into reiner’s skin.

“its not that i don’t ever want kids. i just…not now, rei. im still very much enjoying life with just the two of us. kids are hard work and a lifelong commitment. everything i know and do will have to change from here on out and i just dont think im ready for that kinda burden yet.”

with a lethargic hum, reiner nods his head.

“yeah, i get you.” he mumbles.

although Husband!Reiner still wants kids, he agrees to getting a puppy in the mean time. he says he might as well get the practice while he waits.

surprisingly Husband!Reiner is in absolute adoration of the new bundled edition. the pup is boisterous and hyper but listens to commands well and learns quickly

the puppy is even more enamoured by smol gabi who always seems to have either its tail or ear within her chubby small hands. still, the puppy only sees it as a bunch of fun

Husband!Reiner isnt perfect, and definitely has so many flaws where he needs to fix up on but he’s trying and he really does love you so you’re okay with working him through all of that.

#reiner braun #reiner aot #reiner x reader #reiner headcanons #reiner x black reader #reiner x y/n

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qumiiiquinnquin · 9 months

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im scared to tell my psychiatrist i tried to end myself twice within a month (sep-oct). i dont know why i am. i have to call the office myself since im an adult now, but im really scared making phonecalls. i have to do it because its been since april that ive seen my psychiatrist but i have to do it. i dont know when ill do it, im too scared. that fear frustrates my family a lot. i feel like im already a failure of an adult and will continue to be like that forever.

today was mostly good, just uneventful until this evening. but now im feeling depressed and i want to cry until i cant anymore, but i cant cry, so i just feel bad. i dont feel tired so i dont want to sleep, but its almost midnight so i should soon. im feeling stressed out about needing to call the psychiatrist's office, so i dont feel like i can relax at all.

ive just been feeling bad a lot lately but thats not new, i say think that to myself every other week or so. whats making me sad the most right now is hating my art. i dont have any confidence in my art but i want to get better, but i dont think i ever will. i will always have mediocre talent, no matter how hard i try. i keep thinking about burning my physical art and either deleting my digital art or just even destroying my laptop, though the latter is very excessive, but i still think about it every now and then out of frustration. i want to give up but i really dont know what else id do, ive always drawn since i was very little, its always made me happy. i really want to not care how upset stopping would make people, including myself, but if i dont stop out of just purely giving up, i probably will stop because i k!lled myself.

every day is feeling the same, it even felt that way when classes were still going. i got so used to the schedule that i got used to the systematic cycle. i partially dont want classes to start again because of that, its boring and the amount of work is stressful, im just going to go back to breaking down and nearly attempting from stress and lack of confidence that i can really do this, that i can really power through and get the degree i want. i keep getting told im smart and always work hard, but that really doesnt mean anything now. being and doing those things doesnt suddenly mean that because of those things, ill survive the stress. it only actually makes it worse, like im ridiculous for feeling the pressure and have the mental health collapses that i do because of college, that im not trying hard enough and am lazy.

for some reason the desire for love has been on my mind and i dont know why, youve seen the pathetic longing things i say about romance. right now i feel like i am missing out and am a failure by societal standards for not even have dated in my life, and i still dont have a partner at 18 years old. i feel extremely lonely to the point that seeing other couples makes me depressed, which is probably selfish of me. i feel like and believe now that i will always be alone. i know i am not beautiful to anyone, i know i am not funny, i am not interesting, im a pain in the ass, im too much to deal with and am just unlovable in general. i hate feeling this way, i never cared about romance or relationships and have always been repulsed at the idea of me ever being loved romantically or being in a relationship. i feel stupid. i feel like a jerk. i feel like i deserve to be alone forever, and i really do. or maybe, just end myself, if im so unlovable in every way, then why not just weed myself out? whoever takes my place will be much more worth it than i ever could be. its so stupid thinking about myself d*ing from a broken heart. "just grow up, sad excuse of a grown adult." (in quotes because its a direct thought to myself towards myself, nobody else)

i really doubt everything will get better, ive felt this same exact way for 3 years now. sad, burntout, stressed, like im nothing but a problem for my family, a burden and waste of time to be around or talk to or care about. i did attempt once in 2021 but failed, obviously im still alive. i really want to try again. im really scared of pain, so im trying to find the quickest way or the least painful option. if i just call, i can get different meds or a different dosage and i wont feel this terrible. im so childish for an adult to be unable to make a fucking phonecall. i feel like next year might be it, im not sure why i get that feeling, but i dont have any reason to keep going. im not looking forward to anything. nothing is really that fun or exciting, i just try to distract myself. i know im not wanted, and im too difficult for my family.

its now a half hour after midnight because im incapable of shutting the fuck up. i might just lay down and watch youtube or cry myself to sleep, whichever happens first

#vent #tw sui ideation #tw sui vent #tw sui attempt #long post #well this escalated fast #i am useless and pathetic. i am going to remain this way forever. the only way out is to just disappear i think. im tired of being alive

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recs-and-discoveries · 2 months

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Sunday, July 28, 2024

I in fact did do my knitting while watching a movie situation! I know this is incredible popular in knitting circles, but I'm not too much of a movie watcher most of the time. I want to get more into watching movies instead of scrolling on YT shorts because my screen time Is Not It.

I got all twenty rows in (which is my minimum daily amount for the next week) and that comes to ~5cm. The next "milestone" for the sleeves (ie the part before the increase) is 10 cm, which makes this project feel a lot more doable. For context the end sleeve length (before the cap) is 43 cm, which is 3-4 days worth of knitting for me.

I watched A Quiet Place: Day One yesterday and let me tell you I have THOUGHTS. Wonderful movie that I'd recommend, a solid 8/10. Spoilers below the cut!

A Quiet Place: Day One Thoughts

In order to make this vaguely understandable, I'm going to bullet point these rambles

Direct Movie Response

28:40 and 1:01:30 are both absolutely killer shots

I love that more movies are moving away from MCU franchise and are turning towards "here's a cool concept, lets do it in a different way" (looking at you knives out)

I love the different forms of community in this movie!!

Sam was consistently a form of community to others while others formed community with her! her nurse looked so happy to know she was alive and constantly went out of his way to protect her. The black family helped with nursing Sam the first time she passed out. Someone in that first camp rescued same cat. Sam showed kindness to the children hiding under the waterfall. and of course Eric, someone with (im going to assume) some level of anxiety. There were several times where he actively Brought Sam's life in danger! but she still kept him around

And in turn, Eric showed kindness by going out of his way to get Sam's medication and save her cat

Continuing community is the scene were all the New Yorker's were pouring out in droves to the boats, which resulted in massacre. I had a feeling, because that many people is never a good sign, but what I want to emphasize was the protection of disabled people, particularly the man in the wheelchair. Many of these people wouldn’t makeup a top survival team in an apocalypse, but we need to keep them around because they jive us hope (which ill get back to)

And if we’re going to mention community in this movie, I obvi have to highlight Eric's willingness to go with Sam to patsy’s and learn more about her. Their meeting was the pinnacle of community building. He was scared and lost and needed connection, so he clung onto the first person who was able to provide that

And he goes above and beyond! He brings light into Sam's world when patsy’s is burnt down by preforming their silent magic show, which was such a beautiful scene (and not to mention finding pizza for her, which has my whole heart)

In relation to movie lore, I was interested to see the weird things the monsters were eating and I'm wondering if it’ll come back later. I also appreciate this film address the criticism people had to the water situation; the monsters are scared of it! It kills them so very quickly that it makes sense why they’d avoid the sound

The final thing to say is that there are some thing about this movie that don’t 100% make sense. Like how the fuck did the cat survive all this time? No idea! Cats aren’t inherently quiet creatures, and there were MANY times where he could have (or logically should have) died and he just. Didn’t

Connection to Other Things

Trauma and Noise: Another point id like to mention is trauma and its connection to sound. When we as humans are upset, we sob, we yell, we cry, we stamp up and down, we slam doors, we make noise. it almost feels as chaotic as how our brains feel, a way to physically embody the pain we feel. So to remove the ability to make noise is so painful. People are dealing with constant loss and pain but they have to stay quiet in order to survive. I would loose my mind

Palestine: When it came to the original crashing of meteorites (or whatever they were, which ill return to), all I could think of was the people of Palestine, along with all the other people of the world that are being bombed. It is evil that this genocide is continuing. Generally speaking, I’ve tried to keep Tumblr as a mental break while my other forms of social media cover Palestinian activism, but I would be remiss to not mention it. Not to mention the dystopia ass world we live in where the president of a nation committing genocide gets a standing ovation from Americas leaders??? It makes me want to burn the world down

Leaving Behind: Actual final point is the boat scene. There are 8 million people living in New York with around 1.6 million being from the city (yes I googled) and all that's really left are the people on the boat. What also gets me is that many of those people may not be native New Yorkers. Many people commute to New York or fly in for vacation. Not to mention how many people died as a side effect of buildings crashing and train cars being blocked and young or old people being left behind, etc etc. It is quite a sad thing to see

Music

I said this at the end of last week, but I've been listening to some emo music this week! All the songs that I've ended up adding to my playlist are pretty classic, but I suppose they're classic for a reason.

Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

Somebody Told Me by The Killers

American Idiot by Green Day

Mr. Brightside by the Killers

The music genre for next week is: Russian Romance!

To Dos

☐ next khan academy lesson

☐ next pimsleur lesson

☐ 2 repeats knitting

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stargirl1331 · 9 months

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A diary of my reactions to the songs on the playlist @unnamedrat made for me! written as i listen:)

this got long so i actually get to use a cut? amazing

Star-mitski: oooo nice vibes i really like th smooth to the less smooth. also: Star:)

So Real-jeff buckley: i am in love with the lyrics especially the "and i never stepped on the cracks/cause i thought id hurt my mother". has similar feeling to dear arkansas daughter in a way? ooooo i love the beat change!

Good heart-indigo de souza: 1) the title makes me happy 2) i relate to this song 3) i absolutely am in love and it is now im my liked songs. this song somehow reminds me of climbing a tree and jumping out of the branches. also about my new strawberry toothpaste but thats just because there was a lyric about brushing teeth.

This is A life-a bunch of people: oooooooo i really like the blend of voices it sounds like loosing memories of people in a way almost. i highly enjoy but also its so melancholy and i feel like i could lie on the floor in star and just vibe.

The prettiest star-bowie: Star title:) its a bop(whos suprised its bowie) i want to sway and dip and spin and dance. i maybe zoned out for the rest of this song and have no notes but it was very very nice.

Cabras-little jesus: I do not speak what i believe is spanish but im vibing.

Enjoy the silence-depeche mode: i have heard this before i rather like it. its what my dad would call "british new wave". ive been getting more into their music lately ALL I EVER WANTED.... WORDS ARE VERY/UNNECESSARYYYYYY dude im just vibing and bopping along

Love will tear us apart-joy division: A) dante u and my dad and me seem to have a bit of a venn diagram of music tastes this is sorta funny to me but im vibing sooo hard. b) i zoned out and did stuff so no notes other then Vibes are great

Grace-jeff buckley: i like these chords. oh the moon:) the moon asking to stay:) im fine. i am in deep feels with these lyrics. im so good. i really like this song. spinning in grass and falling over to stare at a rainy night sky vibes if you know what im saying

Buffalo replaced-mitski: No notes. had to do things. great song. like the lyrics. i just like her voice tbh.

where did the sun go-lor: I LOVE THIS SONG IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY I FOUND IT EARLIER THIS YEAR AND IT WAS MY SECOND MOST LISTENED TO. i love lor. i love this song. it makes me want to bite things. amazing. wonderful. wish there was a 10 min version

ok i have to do things ill continue this when i listen to the rest and can sit down and do it and also if i remember

#dante the detective #hello the fact that you think of me when u see star songs or smth it makes me all fuzzy:)#ive had an impact on people whove had an impact on me!!#i think of you when im discussing details in art or writing and stuff #its just like “oh dante would see so much in this cause hes a genius!”#seeds in the garden

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lightlycareless · 8 months

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do u have any naoya fic recommendations? rn i’m living off your ao3 one but it’d be nice to have more!

also! id like to mention that i started reading your ao3 fic in november i think and when i got towards the end i was so sad bc i had to wait for the chapters😞 BUT ITS OK bc your writing is truly like phenomenal and i cannotttt describe how hard it is to find a fic that’s so well written as yours. like i can go on and on about how you write a good amount for one chapter and you’re able to capture the emotion SO WELL!! so thank u😭🙏

Hello!!

Sorry for taking a while to respond :'( things are happening and honestly i'm super stressed right now for something so stupid i s2g but ANYWAYS

Thank you so much for your lovely words!!! omg....njsgk aghajks hkja I still find it hard to believe that people like my fic and my writing style 😭😭 specially after that one comment I got quite recently 😥

I just... really, really like my fic, and I'm so happy that it shows. I'm very proud with what little I've been able to amount, from improving my writing (I think I have lol) to getting all this support.

I'm still in disbelief to have this honor 😭❤️ really, thank you so much ❤️❤️ I will continue to keep writing and doing my best!! Know for sure that I will finish the story, however long it takes me!!! I just hope you continue to like it :3

As for the fic rec's, I haven't read much as of lately, but I have posted something like this quite recently! also, I don't know if this is of any help, but on my main blog I tend to reblog fics that I really like on this tag over here (beware, I tend to dump everything jjk together...)

And then, here are my must reads. They essentially molded me into who I am now :')

Once again, thank you so much for your support ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺 I wouldn't be here, enjoying this as much as I do, if it weren't for all of you. Can't wait to post what's coming!

Take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️

#ask #ask: general inquiries

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yj-98 · 1 year

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my brain is perpetually melting lately so im like not super comprehending it but i looove hearing ppl talk about what theyre into and i am just nodding along so enthusiastically when you talk about rdr2 . also take this as me asking about it as i said im nodding along

crow im sorry </3 honestly i understand 100% and i hope the brain fog lifts for you<3 but im happy its fun to hear about <3 thank you for nodding along and asking about it (in spirit) so let me lay the generic history + synopsis of both games because i have . sort of just been dropping context as i talk about two brothers and their horrible father (<3 and the good one)

anyways im about to be very autistic<3 buckle up

red dead redemption (2010) started off as a spiritual successor to a game called red dead revolver (2004) that rockstar bought after the game had been cancelled after it failed to follow thru with funding issues in 2000 (capcom. as in mega man capcom, was paying for a studio to make it, but funding dropped and and that studio closed so rockstar acquired the studio + eventually got the rights for rthe game). HOWEVER they wanted to do more w/ the concept

so john martson was born in 2010 w/ the first red dead game. youre introduced to a this former outlaw in 1911 who's family is being used for blackmail as he makes his way across a fictionalized version of the american south/west + mexico trying to track down his former friends because the US govt wants them dead. hes polite but no-nonsense and hes sarcastic sometimes and mentally unwell and also so kind. hes very funny honestly like rdr1 john my beloved. and he helps people along the way! he makes associates with all kinds of people. he deals with the people in his old gang (javier escuella and bill williamson), including his father figure dutch van der linde. hes described as his fathers greatest success and greatest downfall. hes returned to his wife and son and 'uncle' only for the US govt to raid their home, kill uncle, and it forces john to tell his wife and son to run while he makes a last stand, knowing that theyd stop at killing him. because ultimately these games are about redemption. and it almost succeeds, but his son grows up to avenge him

and its a fun game! its a wonderful story its really well done with interesting twists and turns and a HEARTBREAKING ending with this kid just. continuing that cycle. killing a government man puts a target on his head too. and rockstar couldve gone with a sort of . 1910s-1920s set sequel where you explore what the kids fate is. instead in 2018 we're given a prequel in the form of red dead redemption 2.

its 1899 and its the end of the golden age and the age of the "west" is honestly decades gone. dutch is clinging to an old life because he hates the US government, doesnt trust the law, etc. hes got a group of misfits including two men hes raised since they were preteens (arthur morgan + john marston) alongside his oldest friend (platonic life partner? sorry. theyre toxic old men* in love) hosea matthews.

(*old for 1899)

so arthur morgan is born in 2018. hes not mentioned once in rdr1 because he didnt exist! and rockstar gives themself the very hard job of making us LIKE a protagonist new to the story as a whole. and it works basically immediately. id argue its almost impossible to hate arthur when he feels so human. ive rarely like. played a game that beat for beat feels very much like reading a novel and i am. so honest when i say he feels human. they all do. but you hear his thoughts, you read his journal entries, you hear his comments to himself and his way of interacting with the world around you, let alone with other people. hes so endearing, if not a bit gruff and rough around the edges, and then he warms. especially around hosea, or in quiet moments with john or his friendship that blooms w/ a man named charles (i will not get into this.) or his kindness with sadie adler, a widow you meet in the prologue (shes sooo).

and then arthur starts dying. hes dying from the end of chapter 2. theres 6 chapters total + two epilogues w/ john. chapter 1 is essentially the prologue. youre given ONE whole chapter with arthur before It Happens. and hes declining. and you get hints. he starts coughing.

rdr2 is a story of arthur and the events that lead to rdr1 with a splintered family. you know the events of rdr1 will happen as absolutes: bill dies. javier dies. dutch dies. john and abigail (his wife) will die. jack, their son, who in rdr2 is maybe all of 5 years old, will one day kill a man. but that seems so distant

its a death march, its an avalanche, its a butterfly effect. its a car crash its a trainwreck. and youre a rubbernecker. you cant look away, you have to play his part in the play. the events that ultimately are the catalyst happen a month prior to the games opening: dutch picked up a man named micah bell, and micah is not a nice man. and he knows exactly how to play dutch like a fiddle. and dutch's ego is too big to know hes being played. they rob a ferry boat. it goes badly. people die. the pinkertons are after them all. they run into the mountains and almost die. dutch's ego is bruised and he Needs to correct it. they run into his old nemesis and they steal that guys plans to rob a train. you could say that this was the true catalyst for the events for the rest of the game but ultimately it doesnt matter. micah has his grip on dutch, and dutch just robbed one of thee wealthiest men in america, who has an ego that matches

meanwhile arthur is an attack dog, and he attacks the wrong target on orders he doesnt like. a weak man dying of tuberculosis. it infects arthur, unwittingly. arthur can quit these jobs. its doesnt matter. he will die in 6 months

rdr2 is a story of trying desperately to pump the breaks as more and more people die. its about hope and trying to save as many people as you can. its about people who fall through the cracks and who the 1% hate coming together and the reality of being used in a cult of personality. its about one man falling apart and taking 20+ people who looked to him like a shepherd, down with him. its about desperately clinging to the past as the future rockets forward. its about loyalty its about betrayal its about dying.

arthur is shown chapter after chapter as he gets weaker that his father is willing to let family die. that when dutch loses hosea in ANOTHER botched robbery he is not the same man. that he's willing to let both his sons die. and when arthur realizes his time left is short, hes desperate to make things right

arthur dies letting john escape. dutch and micah look down at him as hes dying and walk away. arthur is buried facing west. for the sun. john inherits his hat and journal. john tries to build that fateful home with abigail and jack. you spend the epilogue with him as he tries to make wrong puzzle pieces fit and shave down the parts of him that were his fathers son so that they can try to live normally. he succeeds. the epilogue lets you face micah and dutch as john and arthurs friends who survived (charles + sadie). you kill micah. he deserves it. dutch lets john live.

time does not stop. rdr1 looms ahead. you ignore this and play ranch simulator as john draws in arthurs journal and writes and scratches out words and draws hearts around his wifes name. you can find arthurs grave and sit with him.

i spent 1 month putting off arthurs death. i mourned him in real time when he died. games to CHANGE the brain chemistry

#also its ok im honestly not sure what i say IS super comprehensible . in the first place #asks #crimzoncrow #crow 🦋#cowboygame lb

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