#james/evan/barty

[enbysiriusblack]

marauders ship battle

[outromoony]

Me when the slow burn is slow burning

[starchaser98]

"Not every ship has to be gay!"

Girl you're using TUMBLR. THE gayland. What did you expect?

[always-reading]

talk ur shit

[the-original-gays]

James was the mum friend in a "wraps you in a soft blanket and makes you tea when you're not feeling well" way.

Sirius needed someone to love him.

Remus needed someone to accept him.

Peter needed someone to value him.

And James made sure each of them went to bed smiling.

Regulus was the mum friend in a "chasing you around the house screaming at you to not put forks in the plug sockets" way.

Evan had no regard for safety, his own or others.

Barty has no impulse control.

Pandora did dangerous experiments on a daily basis.

Dorcas would do just about anything if you paid her enough.

And Regulus was just trying to keep those fucking idiots alive.

[norry-yippee]

Sometimes I forget that people in the marauders fandom aren’t just silly teenage girls, like wdym your husband proof read this fic for you?!?!?!?!?

[spiritstar477]

Sirius: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Remus: baby, I’d make you a lovely little enclosure with all the dirt and compose you’d ever want. I’d hold you and take you places in my pocket and kiss you good night. I’d—. . .

vs

Remus: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Sirius: *thinks* yeah, I’d fuck a worm

Remus: *looks at the camera like in the office*

—————————————————————————————————————

James: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Regulus: it depends… were you always a worm or were you transfigured into one? The former, no, we’d never have met. The latter, then yes, and I’d figure out how to turn you back.

vs

Regulus: would you still love me if I was a worm?

James: yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

—————————————————————————————————————

Barty: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Evan: I’d cut you up so I could have a bunch of you

vs

Evan: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Barty: I’d cut you up so I could have a bunch of you

(bc they’re both batshit insane)

[rosieevan]

At Jily's wedding:

Church: If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Evan: LILY.

*Regulus and Dorcas trying to hold Evan back while Barty is laughing*

Lily: For the last time, Evan, I understand you want to be called Evan Evans. But that is not a valid reason to interrupt my wedding!!!

Evan : BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

[mxro-x]

Regulus: Guys, I need to tell you something

Regulus: I’m in love with my brothers best friend

Barty: Your own brother? The one that was disowned??

Regulus: Not my brother, his best friend

Dorcas: Remus?

Regulus: That’s my brothers boyfriend. I’m in love with his best friend

Pandora: Lily!?

Regulus: No, that’s Remus’ best friend

Regulus: It’s James, I’m in love with James

Evan: Your brothers best friend!?

Regulus: [heavy sigh]

[not-rab]

James *out of curiosity*: How did all four of you even befriend Regulus?

Evan: I helped fix his wand after I broke it

Barty: I stole his broom and refused to give it back unless he was nice to me

Pandora: I stalked him

Sirius: I'm his only biological brother and there's no refund button

[sspadfoot]

The Marauders doing the trauma dumping sweet trend on TikTok

Sirius: My names Sirius and my parents used to torture me as a punishment until I had to run away and I brought haribos

Remus: My names Remus and when I was 5 I was bit by a werewolf because he hated my dad and I brought sour patch kids

Peter: My names Peter and I was tortured until I joined a fascist cult and I brought giant strawberries

James: My names James and my boyfriend broke up with my to join the cult because his parents told him to and I brought jolly ranchers

Regulus: My names Regulus and I’m that boyfriend. I also tried to drown myself on multiple occasions and I brought marshmallows

Barty: My names Barty and I was imperioed by my dad for most of my life, until I became crazy, and I brought twizzlers

Evan: My names Evan and I was forced by my parents to join a cult and I brought rainbow laces cause we’re all fruity

Pandora: My names Pandora and I can see the future so I saw all of my friends and family die and I brought skittles

Dorcas: My names Dorcas and my girlfriend was killed by one of my oldest friends and then I had to go face to face with the leader of the cult and I brought airheads

Lily: My names lily and my sister hated me for most of my life and I had a horrible toxic best friend who called me slurs and I brought nerds

Marlene: My names Marlene and I was killed by my best friend, my sister was also kidnapped and tortured and I brought Reeces

Mary: My names Mary and I was obliviated by my headteacher and I don’t remember why and I brought squashies

[outromoony]

"My child is fine." Your child is reading the angstiest fanfics about Harry Potter's dead parents and their friends on purpose.

[pxrty-crxsher]

Sirius: So how did you guys get together?

Barty: He was watching me, like a stalker.

Evan: Everyday, for a straight month.

Barty: Gay month you mean?

Remus: …

Sirius: Anyways.. what I mean is, what happened that made you think, ‘oh I want him as my boyfriend’ ?

Barty: He was stalking me and I thought it was hot.

[percesdead]

barty would giggle and twirl his hair and say,"all this for me?" when surrounded by twenty aurors

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

im a multishipper until you try to touch my babies ok.

james and lily? absolutely. lily and mary? adorable. james and regulus? grumpyxsunshine GOLD. regulus and barty? our favorite psychos. barty and evan? you know it's growing on me

but other ships instead of wolfstar????? like??? they're the only ones for each other argue w the goddamn wall

[regulusblock]

teen Regulus: what's an orgasm?

teen Barty: when you fold paper to make birds and shit

also teen Evan: that's oregano, bitch