#james/evan/barty

[enbysiriusblack]

marauders ship battle

[outromoony]

Me when the slow burn is slow burning

[prongsinrevolt]

behind every hot girl there is unhealthy, slightly concerning, spiritual connection to harry potter’s dead parents dead friend group

[seekmemystar]

everyone keeps having these moments at the top of the astronomy tower how are none of them bumping into each other

[managone16]

Jegulus marriage reveal 1: Stranger: Hey, can I buy you a drink? Regulus: No thanks. Stranger, ignoring him: So, what do you do for a living? Regulus: Nothing. Stranger: Oh. You seem rich. Regulus: That's because my husband's my sugar daddy. *Sirius, who was nearby, starts choking* Stranger: H-husband? You're married? Regulus, showing off his ring: Yes. *Stranger mumbling apologies and leaving* Sirius, loudly: YOU'RE MARRIED?? Regulus: Yes. Barty: Wait, WHAT? You're joking. Regulus: No, I'm not joking. Sirius: This is NOT funny if this is a joke. You have a ring! Marlene: Wait, what's happening? The rest of them: REG IS MARRIED!! Dorcas, blinking: Sorry what the fuck now? Regulus, rolling his eyes: Ok, I'm married, now you all know, can we move on? Dorcas: Since fucking when? Sirius: TO WHO?! James, entering: Why's everyone screaming? Regulus: To him. *Everyone being dead silent* Barty: I'm sorry, what?

[themoonandtosaturn]

why can't gay people flirt normally

like "ur cute," "no ur cute," isn't that hard

it doesn't have to be:

"finally the flesh reflects the madness within,"

"well, you'd know all about the madness within wouldn't you remus?"

[until-the-house-shakes]

I feel like Barty would ask Evan the most RANDOM questions at like 3 AM.

Barty: if I died. Do you want them to surgically connect my dick to you? Like do you want my dick for your bottom surgery?

Evan: I don’t think that’s how it works.

Barty:… damn.

*Barty waking up Evan as if he just had a nightmare*

Barty: Do you think my animagus would be a horse?

Evan: Why would it be a horse?

Barty: I’m so scared of them Ev. Please say it wouldn’t be a horse.

Evan:… WHY WOULD IT BE A HORSE?

One more

Barty: When we get married, can Reg be my best man?

Evan: No.

Barty: … oh so I guess we’re not getting married then

Evan: He’s officiating it.

Barty:… fine.

[deswhomst]

Sirius, at the Jegulus wedding reception: Hey everyone, wanna play a game?

Dorcas: Sure. What game?

Sirius: It's called "James or Kreacher". I tell you things Reg has said, and you have to guess who he said it to.

Lily: This doesn't sound hard at all

Sirius: You sure? Quote one: "I would die for you."

All the wedding guests:

Barty, under his breath: Fuck

[noblehouseofgay]

When Jegulus first start dating

[fleshandsticks]

Regulus: Our cult is pretty much just-

James: Your what?

Regulus: Our friend group???

James: That's not what you-

Evan: That's exactly what he said.

Barty: Potter, you might want to get your ears checked...

[spiritstar477]

Sirius: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Remus: baby, I’d make you a lovely little enclosure with all the dirt and compose you’d ever want. I’d hold you and take you places in my pocket and kiss you good night. I’d—. . .

vs

Remus: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Sirius: *thinks* yeah, I’d fuck a worm

Remus: *looks at the camera like in the office*

—————————————————————————————————————

James: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Regulus: it depends… were you always a worm or were you transfigured into one? The former, no, we’d never have met. The latter, then yes, and I’d figure out how to turn you back.

vs

Regulus: would you still love me if I was a worm?

James: yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

—————————————————————————————————————

Barty: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Evan: I’d cut you up so I could have a bunch of you

vs

Evan: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Barty: I’d cut you up so I could have a bunch of you

(bc they’re both batshit insane)

[dyl-z]

Remus is taller than Sirius.

James is taller than Regulus.

Evan in taller than Barty by barely five centimeters.

Rosekiller is the only one who cares about the height difference.

[outromoony]

Fuck drugs. Have you ever been addicted to reading angsty fanfics about Harry Potter's dead parents and their friends? That shit will kill you.

[prongss78]

barty, stealing the marauder's map and figuring out how to open it- because of course he would, he's a genius- and seeing james and regulus suspiciously close together in the astronomy tower, dorcas and marlene in the gryffindor girls dorms incredibly close together, and pandora and lily also very close together in the ravenclaw dorms- not to mention, remus and sirius in a broom closet on top of each other, and peter and gilderoy in the gryffindor dorms also suspiciously close together-

barty, lying in bed half on-top of evan, fully naked: wow, did you know that all of our friends and all of our friend's friends are gay??

evan, who has been running his fingers through barty's hair for the better half of an hour: shocking

barty: i know! and they're all being little freaks right now!

[hermioneweasleyxxx]

*Barty sleeping in the back of the car*

James [concerned, looking at him in the rear view mirror]: Why does Barty twitch so much in his sleep?

Evan [without missing a beat from next to Barty in the back]: Because there’s no rest for the wicked

Regulus [in the passenger seat without looking up from his book]: Real

[managone16]

Jegulus marriage reveal 2: Stranger: Excuse me, are you Regulus Black? James: No, he's Regulus Potter. Stranger: Oh. You may have dropped this- Remus: Wait what? What did you just say? Sirius, shocked: Regulus POTTER?! Regulus: James! James, suddenly realising: Oh fuck. FUCK FUCK SHIT- Lily, nudging Reg: Regulus Potter, huh? Regulus: JAMES! They weren't supposed to find out like this!! James: I know!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I- Sirius: FIND OUT?? FIND OUT WHAT?? Remus, slowly: ...No fucking way. Lily, also realising: Oh. oh my god. Sirius: You're joking. No. no no no. Barty, entering: What? What's wrong? Sirius: THEY'RE- NO. Pandora, also entering: What happened? James: They just found out we're married. Regulus: JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER NOT IN FRONT OF THEM- James, wincing: Sorry, love. Sirius: YOU TWO GOT MARRIED?? AND DIDN"T TELL ME?? WHAT THE FUCK?? I'M YOUR BROTHER! Remus: I...WOW. Barty: WHEN? WHERE? I WAS GONNA BE YOUR BEST MAN, REG! Sirius: What?! NO, I AM- Pandora, beaming: I officiated their wedding! Everyone: *dead silent* Sirius: YOU LET HER- James, whispering: Should we make a run for it? Regulus, whispering back: Race you to the car. Sirius: DON'T FUCKING RUN FROM ME! COME BACK YOU-