#jude: over seven feet

[hamiltonells]

ALWAYS ~ JUDE BELLINGHAM

[sort of based of this request! so thank you for request. please let me know what you think! always welcome to criticism, also let me know if you would like a series based or this little family! 🍓]

[SUMMARY: being soon to be parents is hard especially being so young as well, but Jude and y/n takes everything in their stride]

[WARNINGS: fluff, smut, morning sickness? not edited, swearing spelling mistakes? ]

You’re feet shuffled across the cold kitchen flooring as you soothed your bump with one hand and held a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream in the other, Your seven -month bump slightly peaking out of Jude’s shirt.

“Are you still okay for tomorrow, beautiful?” Jude’s voice reaches out over the FaceTime call, as you sitback down on the sofa and put the blanket over your bump.

With Jude being in Madrid, it was decided that you would have dinner at his parents' house in England. Due to your frequent travels between England and Madrid, you rarely have the opportunity to spend time with his family, especially with his mother being in the middle.

you placed the laptop on your lap during the ongoing FaceTime call with Jude, “Yeah all good jude, what time is your flight back” your voice grew tired with every sentence you speak.

“flight is about four in the morning will get back home at seven”Jude's voice making you grow even more tired and relaxed.

You knew it was difficult for Jude to balance being at the top of the football world and being a father at just twenty years of age, but he never complained about it once

It was unexpected for you to become pregnant, and it came as a surprise since you are only nineteen and Jude is twenty years old, but you both took it as your little blessing.

"Is my little one okay? It seems like she's wearing Mommy out" Jude's voice echoes through the FaceTime call, "we're okay, just tired and the usual sickness," your voice tiredly drawls out.

Since discovering you were pregnant, you have been experiencing severe nausea, even if it was morning or night It felt like a constant battle to keep any food down, and the smell of certain foods would instantly trigger your gag reflex.

"Plus, we miss daddy a lot," you said "fuck,don't do that voice, it turns me on" he added with a rough accent, you tutted “better hurry up home then”

"I'll be back home shortly, my Love," he said in his gentle Birmingham accent.

you was sound asleep when you heard the keys jingle in the door, the door open and Jude's footsteps slowly and carefully plodding up the stairs.

You hear Jude carefully open the door to the bedroom where you both share. As you shuffle yourself up to sit against the headboard, you reach for the switch to switch on the lamp, and you switch it on.

"What are you doing awake?" Jude's tired voice broke the silence of the room. You turned to see him rubbing his eyes, looking disheveled and exhausted.

"I missed you, heard you trying to be quiet" you admitted "I'm sorry, I just didn't want to disturb you" he replied, a sheepish smile on his face.

"You could never disturb me. I always want to hear your voice." you said softly, Moving to swing your legs out of bed holding your pregnant belly as you trying to ignore the persistent pressure on your bladder.

You sigh, knowing you have to get out of bed to relieve yourself.

“oi what you doing, let me help” Jude’s voice fills your ears, as he rushes to be by your side, you feel a pair of strong arms wrap around you, supporting your weight.

As he presses a soft kiss to your head, Your loving Jude gently helps you out of bed and guides you to the bathroom, making sure you don't trip over your own feet.

Once you’ve emptied your bladder, you get back into bed with a kiss on the cheek from Jude.

You snuggle into the bed sheets, Jude’s bare back now facing you as he’s rambling on about something with his toothbrush in his mouth, you don’t realise your eyes have started to close until you feel the bed dip beside you.

“Sorry baby, didn't mean to wake you again” Jude whispered as he pulled the duvet over the pair of you, with your back facing Jude he slides his arms around you and on to your bump.

"I love you and we both missed you," you murmur softly in response to him, you feel him snuggle into your neck as he presses a soft kiss there.

“hey Jobe”you slightly laugh out his name as he opens the door only to be thrown into a headlock by his own brother, the pair of them shuffling into the living room as they play fight with each other.

You shut the front door and clean your feet on the doormat before untying your shoelaces and removing your shoes.

You enter the living room and see the two brothers sitting on the sofa with a sour expression and Denise giving them a look.

"Y/n, lovely seeing you again” Denise greets you warmly as she glances up and sees you standing in the doorway “you look amazing, not long left now” she hugs you as you smile and look down, “thank you Denise” you gushed as you sat in between Jude and Jobe.

“only a couple more months left, did Jude show you the scan pictures” you continued.

"Yeah, he did," she replied with a smile. "They're amazing, aren't they? I can't believe how much the baby has grown already."

"I know, it's incredible," you said, excitement evident in your voice. "I can't wait to meet him or her."

"As long as they don't look like Jude, they will be alright" Jobe joked “You’re literally like a mini Jude, Jobe” You laughed as you put your hand onto Jude’s thigh.

“It's nice to know that I can actually grow a beard at the moment" Jude mumbles to himself, but loud enough so that Jobe can hear, "you call that a beard" Jobe laughs as he’s dodging Jude's kick.

As Denise calls all of you over for dinner, Jude gets up first to assist you up, putting one hand on your back as he guides you over to the dinner table, he sits next to you his hand on your thigh.

Mark, Jude’s dad is sat across from you, making slight conversation as you start eating your food.

As you took another bite of your food, your stomach churned you felt a wave of nausea wash over you, you reach out to take a sip of your water to hopefully wash it down.

But as the night went on, the feeling only got worse, your hand went straight over your mouth mumbling your apologies as you rush through the house to get to the bathroom.

He trails behind you, apologizing to his family before heading to the bathroom to assist you, gently rubbing circles on your back as you lean over the toilet, feeling him gather your hair up in his hands.

“you okay baby?” His voice soothing you, you lean back into him breathless as the embarrassment washes over you.

”Jude, I am deeply embarrassed. Your mother and your entire family are under the impression that I became sick because of the meal she cooked.“You convey your concern by covering your face with your hands.

“she doesn’t think that, don’t be stupid they know your struggling with your pregnancy” Jude tries to calm your down by wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you both sit in the bathroom floor.

“You okay y/n?” Denise’s worried voice makes you look up, as you see her standing in the doorway “she’s okay mum, bit tired though I think” Jude answers for you as he puts a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I'll set up Jude's room for you both, and maybe it'll be best if you stay overnight, I'll bring some lemonade up to help it helped my morning sickness with Jobe" Denise smiles at you .

In a pair of shorts and an old shirt, you lay on the bed of Jude's old bedroom, covered in the familiar smell of his old clothes.

Jude is right next to you, scrolling through his phone on his lap with his hand on your inner thigh as he softly squeezes it, as he as he speaks with Jobe who is laying across the end of the bed, who is also scrolling on his phone.

"How much longer do you have left?" Jobe asks quietly as you open your eyes to his voice. "Just a little over a month, why are you excited, Uncle Jobe?" you playfully respond.

he just hums to your question, focusing back on whatever was on his phone.

The next thing you notice is Jude placing his phone on his bedside table, and then shuffles over and settles his head on your chest while his hands go straight to shirt to lift it up, his hands go to your bump to soothe it.

In your hands, you are gentle touching the ends of his hair gently twisting it and reaching to his scruffy beard gently scratching it as he hums softly to.

When he presses a soft kiss against your bump, your unborn baby gives him a small kick as they responds to his kisses

“Did you feel that?” Jude’s face snaps around to face you as he realizes what has happened “yeah, going to be like there daddy” you smile as you stroke his cheek.

“what? let me feel, move Jude” Jobe says as he rushes to your side and he places his own hand on your bump he pushes Jude's hands away as he presses his own against the bump.

“Jobe, fucking hell it's my kid.” Jude leans down for a for a kiss before getting up and making his way to the bathroom. You giggle as you see Jude's scrunched up face as he gets up and goes to the bathroom.

you’ve just gotten into bed when Jude come in with a glass of water and places it on your bedside table, “mum says goodnight” you hum to answer him while tugging him down to yourself.

"Careful," he laughs as he catches himself on his hands as he's above you, your hands go around his neck as you press a kiss to his lips.

His laughter fades into a soft sigh as he leans in for another kiss, his lips meeting yours once more before he puts his face into your neck and presses a few light kisses.

“You have a good day, baby?” He mumbles into the crook of your neck “the best thank j” you the nickname you call him slides off your tongue easily.

Jude hums“I love you so bloody much”

“I love you more” you giggle even more when be nips your neck.

He seals your lips together once more, using his knees to spread your thighs a bit further apart for him as he spreads them apart.

In the midst of your kiss, he lets out a breathy moan, courtesy of the fingers which are holding his face, interrupting your kiss with a breathy moan.

Jude utilizes the chance to break away and snag a pillow from his side of the bed, urging your hips up by tapping the fluffy thing against your side.

your lift your back up, and he settles it under your lower back and bum to prop you up. Fortunately for him, he has had extensive experience navigating the challenges of your pregnant belly.

he grips your shorts and carefully pulls them off, taking your knickers off and softly pressing a kiss to your thigh in the progress.

Settling between your thighs, Jude giggles when you wraps your legs around his hips and tugs him closer.

Jude’s body hovers over yours , love-sick smiles a breath away from meeting each other, and he drags his fingers through your folds, groaning at how slick you’ve become.

“Oh fuck” you whisper into Jude’s ear, biting back a grin as Jude grips his cock with the fingers that had previously been fondling you.

Jude smiles as their chests are pressed together, enjoying the feeling of their stomachs touching while he guides himself into your slit.

Jude hums appreciatively, eyes fluttering shut as he basks in how warm and gooey you are for him. He'd almost forgotten how it felt to have you this desperate for him and his touch.

“Need to be quiet, Jobe next door” he whispered as a moan ripped though your body.

"Oh it's so good darling," he mumbles to you, dropping his head into the crook of your neck. He made a gentle backward slip, pulling the hips back gently as he slipped forward again, his breath stuttering as he dutifully slipped forward once again.

Guiding him, you softly release a moan, lowering one hand to the lower part of his back. With a whisper that tickles his ear, you affirm, "Jude, So so good." Tickled by the sensation, he squirms slightly and responds with a small laugh.

Jude soft with his movements, cautious of the baby between yourself, "made for being wrapped me huh?" And jude thinks nothing ever been truer.

Your arms were made to hold him, youe hands were made for pulling him closer and closer, and your heart was made to completely consume his.

you reached your high before him, rolling your hips up to try and bring him to the edge, grinding down into your heat as his cock twitches and buries deep in your walls.

Jude knows you’re watching his eyes scrunch shut and his gaping mouth curl into a breathy laugh as he comes “sorry baby, too tired for another one” he breathes into your neck.

As you nod and brush the sweaty spots from his forehead to soothe him and just like that, he is already able to feel lighter. He never has to sorry with you, you’ll always be here for him.

[trentsgirl]

— 🤍 ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

⟡ summary: after being banned from the next match, jude decided to drown his sorrows in alcohol. as you accompanied him on his way home, he shared something with you.

⟡ notes: had this in my drafts over a year and i just had to get it out of there. i thought it was cute, but eh.

⟡ content: friends to lovers because who doesn’t love this trope 🫶🏻, very very fluffy, alcohol mention, jude is stupidly drunk here, reader is sober, around one thousand words, part two?

⟡ streaming: delicate by taylor swift.

⟡ masterlist, part one, part two.

strolling beside jude, he accidentally collided with you again, causing a burst of laughter that brought a warm smile to your face.

it was clear to anyone seeing jude that he was heavily intoxicated. as a consequence of being banned from the next game, he had decided to indulge in excessive drinking to the point where he could barely walk straight.

your arm was wrapped around his waist, while his rested on your shoulders. the scent of alcohol and the cologne enveloped you, creating a cozy and comforting feeling.

“jude,” you said with a grunt, struggling to maintain your balance. “i can’t keep walking like this... we’re going to end up falling.”

ignoring your concerns, jude continued his unsteady stride. it was only a matter of time before he stumbled, as you had anticipated.

without even attempting to assist him, you let go, aware that his strength would likely drag you down too.

“ow…” he muttered from the ground, resembling the idiot he is. you sighed, silently resolving never to let him consume such excessive amounts of alcohol again.

the streets were relatively empty, given the late hour, for which you were grateful. if anyone caught sight of jude in his current state, he would undoubtedly become the subject of jokes for weeks.

you lowered yourself to his level, feeling the ache in your feet from the heels you had worn all night. noticing a cut on his knee only added to your exasperation.

“jude, sometimes you act like a complete child.” you murmured quietly, helping the man you helplessly adored in supporting back onto his feet.

“knee… blood…” jude weakly pointed out the blood on his knee, his voice slurred and distant, indicating that he was on the verge of passing out. however, you knew you couldn’t take him home without tending to the cut first.

spotting a nearby shop a few steps away, you carefully guided jude and yourself towards it. settling him on a bench outside the shop, you assured him, “i’ll be right back.” not expecting much of a response.

as you turned to leave, jude grabbed your wrist, causing you to look back at him in confusion. his pouting lips and pleading eyes melted your heart, leaving you swooning at the adorable sight.

“don’t leave,” he pleaded, his voice barely audible. “i need you.”

you released a gentle sigh, a soft smile gracing your lips. aware that his intoxicated state might have influenced his words, you still couldn’t help the rapid beating of your hopeless heart.

“i won’t be gone for long, i promise.” you reassured him.

“pinky promise?” he questioned.

a laugh escaped you, causing jude to misconstrue it as mockery. he glared at you, extending his pinky finger and waiting for yours to join.

“alright, alright,” you composed yourself, intertwining your pinky finger with his.

after assuring jude that you would be back in five minutes, you entered the shop and swiftly purchased a pack of adhesive bandages.

unfortunately, the cashier happened to be a new employee and encountered some difficulties with the machine. as a result, when you returned to jude, he was sitting there with crossed arms.

“seven minutes and ten seconds,” he grumbled. “you took too long.”

supressing a laugh, aware that it would only annoy jude further, you sat down beside him on the bench, wearing an apologetic expression. “i’m sorry... but look what i got for you!”

jude’s pout vanished, replaced by sparkling eyes and a wide smile. “kinder bueno!” he exclaimed, swiftly snatching the chocolate from your hand.

taking advantage of his distraction, you carefully applied the bandage to his knee, despite the challenge of his constant twitching and movement.

“all done,” you proudly grinned, discarding the bandage wrappers into the nearby trash bin. “the bleeding has stopped, and i’m sure the cut will heal in a few days as it-”

your words trailed off as you noticed jude gazing at you with an unusual expression in his eyes. it was difficult to discern if it was shock, adoration, or infatuation that filled his gaze.

you looked at jude, puzzled, and asked, “are you okay?”

he took a moment to respond, and when he did, your eyes widened as your heart sank to the pit of your stomach:

“i love you.”

a disbelieving chuckle escaped your lips as you observed your intoxicated best friend. you knew better than to believe his words. after all, he was drunk.

moreover, you were his best friend – it was impossible.

“jude... it’s not funny. please don’t joke about something like that.” you murmured, your voice quiet and uncertain.

you stared at jude with furrowed brows as he vehemently denied, “i’m not joking, y/n. i love you, so much.”

the insistence and urgency in his voice sounded genuine, however, expressing his love while under the influence made it difficult to trust his words.

“jude.” you cautioned, hoping to dissuade him from continuing.

ignoring your warning, he persisted, “i am hopelessly, stupidly in love with you. you mean… everything to me, and i wish i had the courage to ask you out when we first met.”

you despised how easily you fell for his words, yearning for them to be true. countless nights, you prayed for jude to reciprocate your feelings, and now he was speaking what you had always longed to hear.

however, he was shit-faced drunk.

furthermore, whenever jude drank, he would become affectionate and cling to you, so you assumed his behavior was merely a result of alcohol coursing through his veins.

“alright, that's enough,” you announced, regaining your footing. “it’s getting late and you definitely need some rest.”

jude refused to accept your attempts to avoid his emotions. he acknowledged his drunken state, yet his feelings for you were ever present. he was simply too afraid to express them when sober.

he needed to convince you because he wouldn’t play games or deceive you about something like this.

“y/n,” jude pleaded, his desperate tone freezing you in place.

bridging the gap between you, he gently cupped your face with his warm hands, contrasting against your cold skin.

“i know i’m drunk and slur- slurring my words, but please believe me when i say i love you. i’ve loved you since the moment we met.”

you sighed, uncertainty still lingering within you.

“i want to hear you say that when you’re sober, jude,” you murmured softly, gazing deeply into his eyes with uncertainty.

jude could only groan in frustration, regretting every sip he had taken.

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c.11. No Mercy.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: First love / Late spring, Mitski

abstract: she called me passenger princess? you know what I'm not even gonna question it, I couldn't care less. here you have your chapter in which Jude gets all mean and I make the stupidest decision of my life, right. enjoy.

The next day, when the girls came to class she was already waiting for them, the barres ready for the lesson. She was wearing black, pink tights, black leotard, black skirt. She had a slick, tight bun. A proper one, high on her head. She waited for them to take place in the room and without saying a word, she stood between them. Silence was heavy around them. She didn't put music on. 'Let's begin', she said, and began her warmup. The girls followed in silence. Their breaths were the only sound that filled the room. They wanted to play, let's play. After warming up and stretching, she took a look around. Their faces showed concern. Some didn't even raise their eyes from their feet. Gemma seemed calm, one hand on the barre, the other on her hip. 'Pliés'. It was a command. Still, no music. 'And one, two. Three, four. Grand plié. Seven, up.' She was snapping her fingers with the rhythm of a music only she was hearing. 'One, two. Tummy, in.' She was walking in between them like a shark waiting to attack a baby seal. 'Five, six, shoulders down', a killer whale, that's what she was. She made them do the whole barre routine without music. They didn't make a sound, they didn't have time to talk and chat since she didn't have to change the music. They could only look at her and listen.

When she did put music on, for some diagonal routines, she made sure the volume was extremely high. She had them turning, piqués and soutenus. 'One at a time. I wanna see you', she requested. 'And one! And two! And three!' She had to scream to get over the music level, she was clapping her hands with the music while the girls turned in front of her. Some struggled to keep up. 'Other side, quick!' No mercy. She stopped when they were panting enough. 'Sit.' She demanded. She sat down with them in a circle. 'I'm disappointed in you. I'm disgusted by your behaviour. Who did what you did to Gemma yesterday?' They stayed silent, obviously. 'If you don't tell me, every single ballet lesson will be like this one, for the rest of the year. One word, you're out. If you fail your turns like that, you're out. Triple pirouettes minimum, if you fail I take you out the choreography. Point shoes only. Would you like that?' She asked. They were ashamed, clearly. But was it enough? 'I'm gonna ask again. Who did it?'.

They ended up telling her, and she could already spot some of them looking fidgety and glancing around at each other. It was a group of 5 out of 14. 'What you did is terribly cruel. You were cruel, you were stupid and childish. You're nearly 15 still doing this shit girls?' She kept her voice low. 'Do you know what could have happened? She could have been taken by a stranger, do you know how many times that happens in America? Every day. Young girls like you.' She looked around again. 'I want this to stop, not only here but everywhere. You have a problem with one of the girls, you speak. You're jealous, you get up and work harder. You felt offended because of something they said, you tell them. Now, you tell them now. Tell Gemma what's up, talk to each other come on.' It took her five minutes to get them talking. Some stupid shit about Gemma taking someone's spot during the class, I don't even know. 'I will not tolerate anymore bullying. I will not tolerate anymore talking behind someone's back. You girls will not have an easy life, because you're women. You can't be doing this stuff to each other…' She offered them a tiny smile. 'In here, you work as a team, you train together, you dance together, you perform together. No one is special, no one has roles here, you're a whole. You have to protect each other, support each other, you have to be smart, communicate, use your brain.'

Some of them hugged her before they left. 'I don't want to be teaching like this anymore, girls, but I will if you make me.' One by one she ended up hugging each and every one of them. 'Never do it again, Kyla I'm serious. You really disappointed me'. She gave Gemma a little kiss on her forehead when she whispered a 'thank you'. When they left she took a breath and got back to work.

Gemma saw the same man who was in Alba's car when she got out of the school. He was getting inside the building, maybe to say hi to Alba. She smiled at him when she walked past 'I think that's Miss Alba's boyfriend', she giggled with Luna at her side. He smiled to himself, not really for the boyfriend assumption, which rather embarrassed him, but because he finally got her name. Alba. Alba… It suited her. He had never met anyone with that name. It felt rare, it felt unique, it felt like the name of a precious crystal. Did he really look like he could be Alba's boyfriend? She seemed like the girl to date the funny, popular, attractive guy in the group. Not really his description. He heard her speech to her students. He walked up the stairs cause he heard the music stop, then quickly got out to avoid the girls that ran to the changing rooms. But still, he heard the speech. Fuck me Jude, you're good. For a second even he felt intimidated. He noticed he was smirking under his mask, hearing her lecture the girls and even blackmail them a little bit. God, she was cruel. Who knew she could be that assertive. He had always suspected she had something dark inside her and it was finally showing. She had bossed him and his team around cause she was used to yell at little girls, she had practiced. When he walked back inside he peeked though the door which was left open. That was going to be the first time he ever saw her dance. He wasn't supposed to, and she will probably never know he had been watching her. He was never going to forget that moment. He was entering a temple, a secretive space, another universe in which time and space didn't matter. He would never in his life see something more beautiful. The image of her body, like she was casting a spell on him with her movements, would hunt him forever.

notes: poor thing he really thinks that's her real name hahahaha. this girl has 17 personalities.

notes: I AM BACK. I AM SO SO SO SORRY. life is so weird, life is messy. I try my best to be happy and to do things, I do too much sometimes that I forget I'm even human. The less I do the more I feel dead. sorry!! I study I work I talk to stupid boys I go out... anyways. haven't forgot about these two, MORE CHAPTERS IN THE NEXT FEW HOURS! I LOVE YOU.

mare.

taglist:

@ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[fantasybellingham]

As a year passes | 1.

' it feels weird to be back here '

a year had passed since the tragic disappearance of Selena and Hannah. and the remaining five friends found themselves back at the isolated ski lodge way high up in Blackwood pines. The memories of that fateful night still lingered, casting a heavy shadow of their reunion. Yet, against all odds, they had decides to return, drawn to the place that held both painful memories and a sense of unfinished business.

Jude, y/n, marcus, Trent and Declan stood in de main hall of the lodge, their footsteps echoing through the empty space. Dust covered every surfce which gave the place an eerie, abandoned feel. The air was thick with a mix of anticipation en trepidation.

Jude's gaze swept across the room, taking in the familiar surroundigs that had once been filled with laughter and youthful energy. Now, it felt like a haunted relic from their past. Even though, he was determined not to let his fear wear off. After all, he had still an image to uphold as a jock amonst the group.

"So we are really doing this?"

Jude's voice was laced with a hint of excitement and unease.

"coming back here even after everything that had happened?"

He looked at his friends, searching for their faces for any hesitation. The lodge was dark so there wasn't really much to see in the first place. Their agreement to return to the lodge was a testament to their resilience, their desire to confront what they had feared head on.

Trent was the one that nodded as he placed his bag down on the rustic floor that creaked beneath his feet as he inched closer to the couch that once had space for all seven of them.

"we owe it to Selena and Hannah, they would want us to come back here"

Y/n, who had been standing in the same spot the moment they entered the lodge had agreed with what Trent had said. They would've wanted them to come back even if it was just to figure out what happened that night a year ago.

With shared resolve, everyone turned their own way to place their belongings in their own room which all belonged to the second floored lodge that shielded them from the howling wind outside. Y/n however, she dropped her bags by the nearby door and made her way further into the quiet hall. Her fingers lingerd over the light switch to turn it on, but much to her dismay-- no source of light lit up her way.

"we really need some fixing on the light"

Marcus had shrugged from upstairs as he leaned over the railing. Surely the lights had been turned off, if not even completely cut off. No one had been here over a year so there was really nothing needed anymore.

"no shit, Y/n. This place had basically been abandoned"

Marcus voice from upstairs echoed through the lodge, aware of the incredible dulness that filled the confinements. Sam curled her fingers around the picture on the table and even though she wanted to maintain her posture, it was impossible when her eyes fell on the snapped memory with Jude wrapping both his arms around Hannah and Selena.

Movie night with the lads, 2022 14th of december.

She had read it in the newspaper last year that both Selena and Hannah were found dead at the bottom of the cliff which was unusual, for both sisters weren't the type to be reckless. Perhaps the embarassment that Selena had felt when the what-seemed-like harmless prank that made her swerve and trip down. Her fingers continued to feel the worn edges of the photo while the snow continued to fall onto the pavement, reminding her of the harsh reality they were in.

Jude, seemingly aware of y/n’s unease, had made his way over to her with delightful steps. The smiles captured in the photograph seemed so distant now which was a stark contrast to the somber atmosphere that haunted Blackwood pines.

"seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it? we were so young and youthful we had no idea what was coming for us"

His fingers grazed the edge of the photgraph, tracing the countours of their faces captured. The weight of guilt settled in the pit of his stomach, the regret of the mean-hearted prank taking it's toll on him. He was sure that by the time dinner came around, they would go over the prank that was spelled upon Selena until they would find the harm in it.

And through the forest and through the trees, there was not one hint of something alive, for Blackwood pines was as perished as their joy was. It had been left unintended for a solid year as in 2022 they had officially shut down the entirity of this place. However, that did not diminish the group's resilience for they wanted closure in something that was not quite here anymore.

Declan, ever the calm one had snuck up on Jude and y/n too-- noticing their lingering gazes on the photograph that was nothing but a distant memory.

"everything has been left untouched, it feels as if the government just forgot about this place--"

Both y/n and Jude turned around to face Declan, his words creating some kind of worry. If they really had left this place all alone, what more laid beneath the hills and through the thick leaves of the forest?

"--but I did find a smaller lodge on a walkable path from here. Trent and I will start dinner, would you two mind to switch up there lights again? I don't do well with my night vision"

And so Jude and y/n ventured on the apparent walkable path over a smaller bridge towards the other lodge that held all the advantages to the lights that Declan so desperately needed. Sam chuckled under her breath as her boots snapped on the snow beneath her feet. The snowstorm seemed to be worsening and none of them were prepared for the cold temperatures heading their way.

"walkable my fucking ass, I´m breaking my neck here"

and event though the reference wasn't all too smooth considering her two friends did break their necks, she continued to walk towards the smaller lodge with Jude by her side. The group of seven friends in which were now only five had met many years ago in college when they all followed the same degree. They begun to form a tight knotted alliance, but Sam was afraid that because of the prank-- they were everything but tight anymore. Cautious, that is what they were.

Reaching the smaller lodge, y/n held her flashlight of her phone closer to her since the rustling in the bushes and the crescent moonlight from above was enough to make her a sceptic.

"Let's get the lights on and get out of here"

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Seven

The night I come home from Dublin I don’t sleep. I lay awake and leave the window wide open so that I can hear the wind rustling through the trees outside, hoping that its gentle sounds and the roar of the waves in the distance will rock me to sleep. I check my phone for what must be the tenth time that hour, and the time: 3:25 AM, glares out at me through the screen. When I peer around the gauzy curtains I can see that the sun has already begun to rise, and I know that if I don’t get to sleep soon there’ll be no point in even trying. I flip my pillow over to the cooler side and try my best to get comfortable, but it’s no use. My mind is still racing from the day behind me and every time I shut my eyes I have visions of Dublin streets and sky, the gallery, the park, the fancy hotel toilets, and Jude’s face under the lights on the dancefloor. 

I give up eventually and reach to grab my laptop from beneath the bed and start scrolling through Facebook. I type Jude’s name into the search bar and look through his photos, clicking and clicking until they loop back around to the start again. It’s kind of mindless, and I don’t really know why I’m doing it, but seeing moments of his life captured in these still images stirs something inside me. His face among strangers’, hanging out and laughing in a park somewhere, or in what looks like a nightclub bathroom, trying to cover his face with his hand as he leans against a sink. There are some photos of him wearing a school uniform, hats, scarves or winter coats, standing in the snow. All versions of him that are hard for me to imagine when to me he seems like he belongs somehow to this beach and this summer. Jude, as the character he is in my head, always wears shorts, and his skin is always golden tanned, he doesn’t exist in other seasons or other places.

I grab my phone from the bedside table and open up my messages. There are so many unanswered ones from Liam and my stomach feels sick with guilt as I scroll through them. I was so busy hanging out with the guys in Dublin all day that I didn’t spare a moment to text him back even though I saw the texts as they came in throughout the day. I ignored them.

Good Morning!

Hope you’re having a good day!

Hey, how’s Dublin?

Surf School was good today, really had fun with the under 10s group 🙂 

…Helloooooo? lol

Hey, is everything okay?

Can you text me back if you see my messages? 😦 

What time are you coming back? Maybe we could meet for a walk on the beach if you’re not too tired. 

Okay Goodnight – maybe I’ll run into you tomorrow… 

I start typing a panicked message in response, but then I quickly delete it. If he sees that I’m awake at this hour of the night he’ll assume there’s something crazy going on with me, so I decide that I’ll wait a few more hours and go down to meet him when he opens up the Surf Shack at seven o’clock. There’s no chance of me falling asleep before then anyway, I’ve officially given up. I lie back on the pillows and count the wood chips on the ceiling.

It’s a bright, fresh morning when I leave the caravan park. The grass is wet, and little beads of dew stick to my ankles and feet as I weave through the caravans. I found a shortcut to the beach through a little gate at the back of the park a few weeks ago that lets me bypass the busy village every time I head down for my swim. I swing through it and jog up the sandy boardwalk towards the Shack, my footsteps drumming hollowly on the wooden slats. 

The lights are on inside the Surf Shack when I get there, and through the windows I see his mop of blonde curly hair bobbing about as Liam sets up shop. I try the door but it’s still locked so I tap on the glass to get his attention. He looks up in surprise, but surprise turns to something else he sees it’s me. The corners of his mouth turn downwards like he’s tasted something sour, and dread erupts in my stomach.

He opens the door but only slightly, making sure that he’s not leaving enough space for me to squeeze inside with him. “Nobody is allowed in until we open at eight.” I feel surprised by the coldness of his voice. I didn’t think what I’d done was really that bad. 

“Listen, Liam,” I say. “I’m so sorry I didn’t text you back yesterday, time just got away from me and I was too busy to check my phone.”

“Couldn’t find even a minute, no?” He looks so hurt by this. “I know, I should have but it all was just moving so fast I honestly just forgot.”

He sighs. “It’s fine. Well I’m glad nothing horrible happened to you, I was only stressing out and genuinely worried for you all day.” He goes back into the surf shack, but leaves the door open a smidge, not inviting me in, but not trying to stop me either. 

 He’s got the coffee machine warming up inside, its hums and gurgles fill the room and the smell of roasted coffee beans permeates. It’s rare to see the shop like this, a moment of serenity in the day before the crowds descend upon it but the silence this morning doesn’t feel peaceful, it’s heavy and thick in the air like butter, tension so sharp that you could cut it with a knife. I lean against a counter and watch him take the chairs off the tables and place little ketchup and mustard bottles in the centre of each one. 

“There was really nothing to worry about, you knew I was with the lads.” I say, trying to sound breezy, but this seems to irritate him. “Yeah, I know.”

“I just wish you’d known that we were just-”

“I said it’s fine already though, why do you want to keep explaining what your thought process was?”

I don’t say anything else. He shakes his head and keeps working. “I just thought it a bit odd that you texted me all day every day for nearly a week straight, and then the minute you’re off with another fella I don’t hear a peep out of you.”

“But it’s not like that” I say defensively. “It was Jen who invited me to come with them.”

“Yeah so what?”

“So I don’t get what you’re trying to say. A minute ago you said you were worried that something might have happened to me, and now it seems like you’re saying that I was off galivanting with another boy.”

This pisses him off, and he’s storming around the room now, angrily arranging glass apple juice bottles in the fridge and trying his best to avoid looking at me. I’m not a fan of this weird jealous streak that he has, my skin is prickling with frustration. How unfair is this? He’s not even listening to me trying to explain how it really was. 

“You don’t seem to get it.” He says to me, and I think I’d like to say the same thing to him. 

“What do I not get?”

“About why I might not like it if you’re spending a whole day with Jude.”

“So it’s about Jude?” I say incredulously.

“No it’s not about Jude.” He spits out his name. “It’s about the fact that everywhere that you go, boys, any boys, all boys are going to be looking at you in that way.”

“Like what?”

“Ah! You know ‘like what’. You know that you’re a good looking girl, and you know that the boys can’t keep their eyes off of you when you’re out.”

I laugh in outrage. “You think I was up in Dublin for the day flirting away with Jude?” Liam is still shaking his head, upset, jaw set and rigid as he’s wiping down the counter, but I can feel my anger bubbling up now too and I’m not sure if I can cease it. “Are you jealous of Jen too?” I demand. “In the interest of fairness I suppose you’d have to be. Maybe they both fancy the arse off me.”

He sighs. “It’s not about her, obviously, and by the way I’m not jealous of him, I-”

“Maybe we all did a big dirty three way kiss in the park while everyone watched,” I cut in. “and they invited me to Dublin especially so that we could do that, we planned it all out beforehand, got a caterer for the big show.” I realise that I’ve flown off the handle and become a bit ridiculous, so I take a breath and try to reign myself back in. “I- I’m sorry, Liam, but you’re stressing about nothing. It was just a trip to a stupid gallery. We looked at art and we ate some ice cream.” I wrap my arms around myself protectively and can feel my heart jumping behind my ribcage. “They only invited me because they felt sorry for me and they thought I wanted to get some space after Kelly embarrassed me at the barbeque.”

He stops working and finally looks at me in defeat, shrugging. “Okay, fine then.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. Believe you about what happened, but you can’t blame me for wondering about it when you didn’t text me all day.”

“No, well, I suppose I can’t blame you.” I say reluctantly.

“I know what everyone thinks about him, and I wasn’t jealous – just freaked out by it. Girls like Jude, and boys are bound to like you. I was just spinning out and thinking how horrible I’d feel if you were up there picking him over me.”

“That wouldn’t happen.” I say. “I’m not picking anybody over you. And even if I did like him that way, which I don’t, he definitely doesn’t see me like that. Believe me, he showed no interest whatsoever, and I don’t think he’d have cared if I wasn’t even there.” When I say this I’m sure it’s true. Jude being capable of seeing me as anything but Shane’s little sister’s friend is an impossibility. Whatever myriad of things somebody like him would be looking for in a girl, I’m sure I have none of those same qualities, and this is why I’m so surprised by Liam’s suspicions.

I reach out for his hand, and he lets me take it. “Can we be friends again?”

“Yeah.” He says. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone at you like that. I don’t know why I was so paranoid.”

“No, I should have texted back, you’re right.”

He smiles at me and my heart lifts, knowing that things are fixed between us and now everything is going to be okay again. 

“You have nothing to worry about.” I say to him, “I like you, not somebody else, and after you finish work later I think that we should go and grab some dinner in town, and talk it over properly once we feel better.”

“That sounds good.” He smiles and squeezes my hand. “I’ll ask my dad to drive us there in the Jeep.”

Prev // Next

[taylortruther]

favourite Florence songs?

howl (if you could only see the beast you've made of me i've held it in but now it seems you've set it running free!!!!!! i hunt with you with bloody feet across the hallowed ground!!!)

st. jude (imo this song is the only one that truly encapsulates the sound/feeling of a relationship ending)

drumming song

my boy builds coffins

dog days are over

shake it out

king

free

never let me go (after hearing it live, it was like a religious experience)

seven devils

[loserboyrobinwrites]

Chapter One: Wild Child

welcome welcome welcome this is the first draft of the first chapter of my novel!! it has NOT been edited. There WILL be mistakes. Apologies for the formatting, it's a little different on here than it is in word. Uhhh tw for the f slur!

This chapter is approximately 3k words! Enjoy!

Atticus

The first things I knew were wild. Wild grass under my feet, rivers gushing though the wild forests, the animals scurrying and hiding about my bare feet. 

   The moss cushioned me as I fell while learning to walk. 

   I knew it then and I know it now that the wild had something to say and something to teach.      My childhood home was in the middle of the woods, nestled against a river that tended to flood during the spring.  

   My mum’s name was Lyllian and my mama’s name was Jude. But I never called them that.  

   Our home felt soft and kind, with warm lights and fireplaces and hot cups of cocoa during the winter. I remember I’d climb over the ends of the staircase railings and on the back of the couch despite my warnings not to. 

   Mama always scolded me and told me I’d have to go to bed early if I kept climbing. I would just pout and poke my tongue out at her.  

   Mum told me stories about frogs in the rain and raised me on apple pies and smiles. She was soft but her hands were calloused from all the wood-chopping she did. She never let me touch the axe, much to my dismay. Mama would smile from where she would be cracking pepper over dinner. 

   Because we were so close to the wild, it was woven into my veins just as securely as the love I was raised on, and I took my first steps on moss near the river.  

   We spent a lot of time outside. We even walked to the school I spent my days at when I was old enough. And I would always insist on walking barefoot, even when I was old enough to put my shoes on by myself.  

   Mama smiled at it, but Mum would always sigh and give me a pointed glance. She made me put on my shoes before I went inside the school building.  

   I was a nightmare as a student. I would always be itching to run, and I’d take off my shoes at every chance I got. I would mimic the wolves I heard howling in the woods, and I would squawk back at the birds outside. I couldn’t sit still in class, and I scribbled on my worksheets. 

   My handwriting was horrifically bad, barely even legible. There were many parent-teacher meetings and extracurricular lessons so that I wouldn’t fall behind. Mum always made sure to sit next to me at the kitchen table and help me with my letters and words, and I remember she smelled of fireplace smoke and incense.  

    Mama would always ask me if I’d done my homework and every time I would say yes even if I hadn’t. And she’d hug me and her work shirt would smell of grease and metal but on weekends she’d smell of pine needles and the woodshed.  

~-~

  Once, there was a movie that I watched, but I don’t remember anything about it except the portrait of a snarling, seething wolf.     When I was seven or eight, a boy named Harlow approached me at lunchtime and said, in a rather rude tone, “Michael says you have faggots for parents.” 

   Now I didn’t know what that word meant, so I asked him, my feet digging into the soil. 

   “It means they’re...” he leaned in to whisper to me. “They’re gay.” 

   I looked at him quizzically, still not sure what he meant.  

   Harlow huffed. “You have two mums,” he said pointedly.  

   I took a bite of my sandwich and nodded.  

   Harlow’s eyes widened. “Really? It’s true?” 

   I frowned and nodded. I swallowed my mouthful of sandwich. “Is that bad?” 

   Harlow stared at me in shock. “Of-Of course it’s bad! How will you grow big and strong without a dad?” 

   At this, the image of the snarling wolf appeared in my mind and rage rushed through me. I’m not sure why. I hardened my gaze and Harlow seemed to stumble a bit.  

   And then I tackled him to the floor with a guttural growl. He screeched and all at once that rage disappeared, and I stood up, backed off and turned away, fleeing into the trees. 

   I didn’t look back. 

~-~

Mama sighed as I sat on my hands and swung my legs back and forth. The clock on the wall ticked incessantly, and the air conditioning had been turned full.     It was one of those units that swung the blast of freezing air back and forth, so every twenty or so seconds I would be hit with a chill.      Across the desk in front of me was Mrs. Hillywinkle, her wrinkled face scrutinizing the documents in front of her. Her computer whirred so loudly I thought it might take flight. 

   Mama had come from the shop early to come to this meeting. Usually Mum would do it, but she had been held up on something she called “investigative precautions”.      So there I sat, in the very uncomfortable wooden chair of the principal’s office, nervously swinging my legs.      Every so often the air conditioning unit would brush the papers of artwork on the wall with a rustling sound.      The wind outside howled up a ruckus, and I resisted the urge to howl back. Mama fiddled with the edge of her shirt that smelled of grease and metal. It was how I knew it was a Wednesday. Mama sighed and I pretended not to notice the pointed glare she shot at me.  

   Mrs. Hillywinkle seemed to have forgotten we were there.     Mama cleared her throat, and Mrs. Hillywinkle peered up over her half-moon glasses.     She put down the paper she seemed to think was so important and sighed. “Ms. James-Harriet.” 

   “It’s Mrs. James-Harriet, actually,” Mama said, frowning.      Mrs. Hillywinkle paused for a moment and narrowed her eyes at Mama. “Mrs. James-Harriet.”     Mama nodded.      Mrs. Hillywinkle paused again. Then, “I’m sure you know why you’re here.”     Mama shook her head. “I don’t.”     Mrs. Hillywinkle hesitated to give me a glance. “Your... Atticus here assaulted another student.” 

   Mama seemed to stop in surprise. She turned to look at me and for once I saw the brewing wild in her dark eyes. The moment quickly passed, and she turned back to Mrs. Hillywinkle. “He wouldn’t.” Her hands turned to fists around her trousers.      Mrs. Hillywinkle raised an eyebrow. “Well, he did. Tackled another student to the ground.”     Mama inhaled. “And what provoked this?”     “Nothing, the student says he was minding his own business and Atticus came out of nowhere and tackled him onto the ground—”     “That’s not true!” I snapped, rather out of the blue. 

   “Atticus,” Mama hissed.      I shook her off. “I was the one minding my business,” I corrected. “He came up to me and told me that I couldn’t grow big and strong because... because I don’t have a dad.” 

   Mama took a sharp breath.      Mrs. Hillywinkle raised an eyebrow. “And you tackled him to the ground?” 

   I nodded. “He deserved it.” 

   Mama sighed. “I’m so sorry, he’s not normally like this—” 

   Mrs. Hillywinkle held up a hand. “I’m sure. But we’re worried about his home life. Is there any reason you can think of that would cause him to react with violence?”     Mama was taken aback. I stiffened. Mama sighed. “No. We’ve never hit him or each other.”     Mrs. Hillywinkle scribbled something down.     I continued to swing my legs.   ~-~

I gripped mama’s hand tight as we began walking down the long dirt road to home.      She didn’t speak. I wished she did. She was like that sometimes, when she was angry with me.     She’d get all quiet and I wouldn’t speak either because if I did I was sure it wouldn’t end well.     I sighed.      She squeezed my hand. “I’m not angry at you.”     I nodded.     “I’m just frustrated. With that boy. And the world. Me and your mother have tried so hard to shield you from those who speak bad about us, but...” she trailed off with a sigh.     I nodded.      Her eyes seemed to glisten but not with tears, with something I couldn’t quite place. Her steps on the gravel seemed to be profound and strong. Her braids rocked with every step she took. I squeezed her hand.     She looked down at me and smiled.  

   I tried to smile back. 

   And that image of the snarling wolf appeared in front of my eyes again and I inhaled and stopped walking and my hand slipped from mama’s and I couldn’t shake the picture from my mind.      Mama turned and furrowed her eyebrows at me as I seethed, hands balled into fists.      It was like every part of me was alive, like every part I had ever pushed down had just somehow surfaced and was screaming rabid desires and I wanted to listen, but I didn’t know what they were saying, I just knew that they were loud and scary and feral and wild. 

   I wanted to listen to their screeching wild wants and needs but I couldn’t, I didn’t have the legs or the teeth or the speed or the nose or the right ears that I would need if I wanted to listen and obey and so I just stood there, on the dirt road with my mama in front of me, asking what was wrong.     And I wanted to growl and howl and screech at her just like those wild things were begging me to. 

   I met her gaze and she took a breath, like... like she was afraid of me and some part of me seemed to jump at the thought, seemed to gleefully cry out at the notion that I was scary that I was powerful that I was wild.  

   I seethed there on the dirt road, wanting to howl because those wild things begged me to, and those wild things were deep within the ground and the trees and they were in the air and I was them I was them and they were me. 

   “Atticus.”     The voice cut through like a knife and all at once everything stopped and I took a breath and I could see my mama again and she looked so worried. 

   I tried to breathe, I took long deep breaths as my mama’s hand was on my chest and she whispered to me softly about how it was okay and that I was going to be okay and whatever it was that was bothering me was gone now and I didn’t have to be afraid.  

   I breathed, long and low. The wild things stopped their screeching and the wild things weren’t in the trees and the wild things weren’t chasing me. 

   I was grounded and my mama was there with me.      “Atticus, are you okay?” Mama asked after a moment of just the wind in the leaves and my breathing.     I nodded.  

   And so, we carried on. To home. My feet were wobbling and my legs were shaking but I felt more alive than I ever had been.      Whole. 

   That’s what I felt. And Mrs. Hillywinkle couldn’t do anything about it because my mum would call her a word I wasn’t allowed to say.      I followed mama into the living room where the fireplace sat when we got home. She sat me down in the big armchair that was very squishy and kneeled in front of me.      She said, “Atticus, did that boy who you tackled say anything?”     I nodded. “Lots of things. He called you and mum a word that I don’t think he knew the meaning of.”     Mama tilted her head, braids rocking again. “And was that word?”     I hesitated. “I don’t know what it means either.”     Mama shifted closer. “I promise you right now, Ti-Ti, that if you repeat what he said I won’t be angry at you.”     There was silence. Even the trees seemed to be holding their breath. I stared at them through the large windows.      “Ti-Ti?” Mama asked.  

   I looked back at her. I hesitated. She blinked at me. I said, “he... he told me that I had faggots for parents.”     Mama’s eyes flashed. She hardened her gaze and muttered something under her breath.      “What does it mean?” I asked.      Mama sighed and looked at the floor. “It means someone who loves people who are the same gender as them. Like me, I’m a woman who loves another woman.”     I nodded. “I love you. And I love Oakley. What does that make me?”     Oakley was my best friend for ever and ever. We played together at school all the time and sometimes he would even howl at the trees with me. 

   Mama chuckled. “No, I don’t think it’s like that, Ti-Ti. The way that I love your mum is different to the way I love you. And I’m not sure you’ll experience that kind of love for a while yet.”       I nodded. “But what’s so bad about that word that Harlow said?”     Mama sighed. “It’s a word used to insult people like me. It shouldn’t be said by anybody, so I don’t want to hear you repeating it.”     I nodded again. “Okay.” 

   She turned back to me. “If he says it again, just tell me, alright? And I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother you.”     “Okay,” I said again.  

   Her braids shifted again as she leaned back. “Ti-Ti,” she started. “Back on the road.”     There was silence as she tried to formulate her words. “What happened?”     I wished the silence would come back. I didn’t want to tell her about the wild things in my head who screamed at me. I really, really didn’t. It felt... wrong, somehow. Like if someone knew about the screeching, they would hate me. Or throw me out, or make me scared of them. Or maybe the wild things wouldn’t come back, or they’d be there for every second. And both of those possibilities scared me.  

   I didn’t like being scared. I stared at her, my mouth open like I was going to say something, but the words died on my tongue. 

   Mama leaned forward, eyes open and ready to listen. “It’s okay, whatever it was. You can tell me.”     I huffed. “I don’t know,” I lied. 

   Mama raised her eyebrow. “You’re lying.”     “I am not!” I said indignantly.      Mama laughed. “Yes, you are,” she teased, leaning forward. “You’re lying and I know you are because you chewed on your lip before you answered.” She extended her hands to me and began to tickle my sides. “You’re lying, Ti-Ti,” she said as I burst out with laughter.     She leaned to blow a raspberry on my forehead as I squirmed away from her tickles.      And I think she forgot about the time on the road, and I think I did too. I think the wild creatures in my head were gone and they didn’t dare come back and ruin my mama’s love. 

~-~

Mum got home late that night, and she looked like a mess. Like she’d “been dragged through a bush by her ankles,” as Mama put it when she took mum by her hand and kissed her cheek.  

   I rushed up to her to show her the drawing I’d done of a wolf howling at the moon. Mum took it from me and admired it for a moment. A long moment. I waited, brimming with anticipation.      She looked to me over the paper with wide eyes. “You drew this?”     I nodded enthusiastically.     Mum gasped. “Why, I never thought I’d be in the presence of such an artist!” She exclaimed. “Come look at this, don’t you think the linework is just astounding?” she asked Mama.     Mama smiled. “Very. We ought to hang it up.” 

   Mum nodded, proud. “Immediately!”     And so she did just that. It was the centerpiece of the fridge. 

   I stared at it for a long while. It seemed so grand. Like the most important place a thing could be was in the middle of the fridge.      We lit the fireplace and drew the curtains, and I had a cup of hot chocolate while Mama placed another log on the fire and mum laughed when mama accidentally dropped the wood onto the floor with a thud.      I smiled and turned to glance at the fridge again. My drawing of the wolf. And then Mum sat next to me and pulled me to her side and I was greeted with the comfortable smell of fireplace smoke and incense.       Mama made a remark about stealing all the cuddles and joined mum on the other side of me and suddenly it smelled of pine needles and the woodshed and I was very safe and that’s what it smelled of, it smelled of safety. 

   I was safe with them and they would protect me and I would protect them and my drawings would be hung in the centre of the fridge and I would have cups of hot chocolate even when I was supposed to be asleep. And when I did fall asleep in my parents’ arms, I would always wake up in my bed the next morning without fail.   ~-~

   I have vague memories of being carried to my room and the soft voice of Mama telling me goodnight, but that’s all. I don’t remember when I fell asleep.     I remember my dreams, though. I’ve always remembered my dreams, and I’m not sure why. I remember almost every dream I’ve ever had. Most of them are nonsense, as dreams often are. But this one... this one was different. It was filled with screeching and howling and wolves snarling in my face and then I was the wolf snarling in my face.      I was the scary, not the scared, and I liked it.     I was angry and loud and hunting and screaming and I was obeying the wild things in my mind that told me to hunt and howl. The wild things in my mind didn’t sleep, and some things never do, and I don’t think I could either.  

   I was wild and I was hunting and I was the wolf snarling in my face and I was the screeching things in my mind and I was howling not just at the trees but I was howling at everything that was and that has been.      I woke up screaming that there were wild things in my head trying to hunt me. 

[ghcstlimbs]

my name is [ JUDE TILLMAN ] … and i am from [ HELLTOWN ] and i’m a [ MANAGER AT BELIEVE IT OR ROT ]. i lived in helltown for [ 27 YEARS ] because [ I DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET OUT ]. i am [ 27 ] my pronouns are [ HE/HIM ] and i am [ CURIOUS, EMPATHETIC, ASTUTE ] though some may say i’m [ BYRONIC, UNRELIABLE , OBSESSIVE]. i also hear i look a lot like [ HARRIS DICKINSON ] but, i don’t know if i see it. i’m here because [ I HAVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT THE BASEMENT ] but, maybe there’s more to it than that. you never know with helltown.

BASICS full name:  jude mitchell tillman age:  twenty seven date of birth:  november 6th, 1998 place of birth:  helltown, ohio gender identity:  cis man pronouns:  he/him  sexual orientation:  bisexual zodiac sign: gemini PHYSIOLOGY height in feet:  six foot two eye color:  blue  hair color:  brunette notable marks: covered in a smattering of tattoos from the shoulders down FAMILY father:  joshua tillman, deceased.  mother:  florence tillman sibling(s):  tbd ! relationship status:  single children:  none  BACKGROUND education: highschool diploma and BA living arrangements: a solo apartment language(s):  english, mostly forgotten french PERSONALITY positive traits:  bright, dedicated, deeply empathetic, curious negative traits: secretive, obsessive, byronic, often unreliable

Jude wishes he knew why he can't leave Helltown, despite all his best laid plans; he was going to live in Paris, London, Florence -- he'd sit where the greats had written their finest works, enshrined in history and sunlight, and make something that would set the world on fire. And yet he lingers. He only went as far as Chicago for college, and promptly came back home -- the death of his father was the catalyst, but he's made no attempts to leave. And now he can't. 

His childhood in Helltown is akin to that of most of his peers; normalcy, living in tandem with an air of the sinister and macabre. Knowing something isn't right, but feeling it is as common place as PTA meetings or football games -- Jude loves his home, and fears it. His family is loving, so wrapped up in the town they can't imagine leaving either. As the eldest, Jude aspired to take care of his family -- to get a job that would lift them to a higher status, to buy his siblings a house each. Instead, Jude works at Believe it or Rot; it is perhaps sadder, that he loves his job. He loves scaring tourists with tricks and long-winding tales of horrors (some may be true); he's a manger, a title that's slightly elevated about mediocre minimum wage employee. He covers himself in tattoos, visits his mom weekly, smokes more than is healthy, and maintains a life befitting an aimless man in his twenty -- but he too, uses a blanket of normalcy to cover his unorthodox hobbies. 

He's a thoughtful person, slightly quiet when in thought but incredibly friendly; Jude worships books, and still aspires to be a writer; Helltown may be the main character of his first book. When he's not up until three snooping, you'll probably find him out at a bar or catching another movie at the drive in - he's a regular. 

But his life, his obsession, lays in unraveling this town; Jude cannot stop looking for the source of rot that has started to blacken the soul of Helltown. He pours over the archives, posts endless accounts of his findings online, sneaks into buildings at night -- if the town is a malevolent spirit, it has found a willing host in Jude. He's latched onto the burning of St. Michael's, focusing his frenzied devotion and sleuthing onto this singular event - Jude's convinced this will lead him to whatever dark forces are at play. A skeptic at heart, he isn't one to believe in ghosts; but the aura of Helltown is clear. Things that have died, do not stay dead. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

1. Siblings! : Ideally I picture Jude as having several young sisters, but I'm incredibly flexible! I'd love to have his siblings in play - Jude is a devoted sibling, and in lieu of their father's passing, he attempts to fill that void. The Tillman's have been in Helltown as far as anyway can recall, but his siblings could have left (or run away at eighteen) only to come back now. But his double life as a detective has begun to take its toll -- and in tandem to whatever his siblings are up to, could leave to strife or conflict. I'm open to adopted siblings also <3 

2. Childhood friends/peers: fellow locals around Jude's age that he grew up with. Jude's friendly, though slightly serious and during school was likely buried in some book. I'd love friends that are only coming back home, while he's been here for years since college; friends he's stayed close with regardless of location, or friends he hasn't spoken too in a long time -- but strange happenings have brought them back into his orbit.

3. Fellow sleuths : Jude is not a professional by any means sksk he's just snooping and coming up with theories on his own time. He could be working with others (if your muse is also interested in figuring out what's going on) or they run into each other trying to break into a graveyard, and start to team up. If they're new to town, he'd be someone to go to for lore or the town's sordid history. 

4. Antagonistc relationships : Anyone who has gotten wise to the fact Jude has become nosey, and it rubs them the wrong way - maybe they're mixed up in things, or they think someone digging into stuff will only cause trouble. Also childhood nemeses, general vibes don't mix, etc etc!!! 

5. I'm entirely open to anything !!! Teenage exes, co-workers, the bartender that always serves him, neighbors, even cousins, etc :) 

[jurdanhell]

100 Ways | Part IV

Read it on AO3!

First | Previous

Word Count: 1,083

CW: depersonalization, themes of a panic attack and alcoholism

Cardan twisted the beaded band around his wrist for what felt like the thousandth time that evening. It burned a hot brand into his skin from the repetition and he was silently grateful for it.

He’d finished the last of the alcohol in his and Jude’s shared apartment within the last hour, making a small tower out of the discarded bottles, and covering his ears when they clamoured to the floor. He sank down into the worn-out couch and glanced to the old clock on the wall, letting his leg bounce. It ran exactly seven minutes slow. 

I’ll be home late tonight, she told him when she kissed the top of his head that morning before she left. Don’t wait for me to eat. He had dutifully ignored that part, and had instead begun pacing as one hour bled into the next that evening. As two hours became three, and he couldn’t bear to make himself dial her number and listen to the ringing. 

It will be easier with a drink, he’d told himself. Liquid courage. He thought it was true. 

Now, he just felt sluggish. 

He never picked up the phone. 

Instead, he brought his knees to his chest, imagining Jude’s voice scolding him for the way he pushed his socked feet into the worn, wooden front rail. He wrapped his arms around himself, resting his chin on his knees and peering down at his phone on the coffee table, amidst the scattering of a few takeout containers he’d brought home. A pile of books he’d been trying to convince her to read. A plethora of sticky notes. His uncharged laptop. He twisted the bracelet again. 

Let it slap against the skin of the wrist. 

Really, he should’ve called her. She should have been home by now. He should have called her. Maybe this was his penance.

He should have called. 

Cardan picked up the phone with shaking hands. Unlocked it, stared at her contact photo. At the last message she’d sent, with an order request for their dinner just two hours ago. It’d gone cold by now. 

He glanced to the glass shards that littered the floor just beside him. He’d tried to scoop them into a pile, but with the shake of his hands, Jude never would let him forget it he’d cut himself with the pieces. 

He should have called her.

He swiped at the screen, and no new messages came through. Finally, he hit the call button. 

It rang once, twice.

He slapped the bracelet again. 

Four times. 

Another slap. 

Five.

He picked the beaded bracelet from his skin and the rubber band snapped with it, a bead hitting his chest, the other falling lamely to his lap as they slid off the broken band. He scooped them frantically, gripping them tightly in his fist. 

The phone went to voicemail. 

The line beeped and he hung up, tossing it to the other end of the couch as he stood, searching the cushions one-handed for any missing beads. He ran his hand through his hair, and glanced at the clock. 

Keys jingled outside the apartment door, sliding into the lock and then back out. Jude pushed into their small, shared apartment with a huff, haphazardly kicking off her shoes and preparing to throw herself onto the couch. 

She pushed herself back onto the door and slipped the lock back into place as Cardan turned around, baring his shaking hand to her, letting her see the fistful of beads. 

“I broke it,” he whispered. She stalked over to him, taking the beads from his hand and pocketing them. “I didn’t mean to,” he said into her silence.

She ran a hand through his hair, tracing where his hands had been only moments ago. “It’s okay, I can fix it,” she whispered back. “Let me fix it.”

His hands wrapped around her waist as he bowed his head onto her shoulder, cursing the heat in his cheeks and the burn of his eyes. “I didn’t mean to break it,” he said again. “I know.”

She smoothed down the back of his shirt, eyeing the broken glass piled on the other side of the table.

“You didn’t pick up,” he said.

“I was driving.” He curled further into her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

He shook his head, burying his face into the crook of her neck. “You shouldn’t be. You said you’d be late.”

She swallowed. “Go change,” she said. “I’ll reheat dinner.” He didn’t move. “I can make you a new one,” she said, stepping back to take his face in her hands.

“I liked the first one you made,” he said, moving to hold the broken band in his palms like a tithe.

She took the band from him. “Change,” she said again. “I will fix it.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I promise.”

He frowned, and she swiped wetly at his cheeks. It was, perhaps, that his cheeks were wet, but he could not admit to that. Surely, she’d wetted her own fingers. Wiped away some foreign dirt on his skin. Beneath her hands, he could be nothing but cleansed. 

When he’d gone, she swept the glass into the trash bin, put his laptop on charge—reheated the food. They had been given a single fork and napkin in the bag. She gave him a clean, metal one. 

She tied a knot in the old band. Slipped the beads back on and tied the new ends together. Cut off the ends of the elastic. 

Cardan returned in an overlarge hoodie and her fuzzy socks. They’d been a gift from him, but really, he wore them more. She didn’t mind. 

She stepped into his space and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Neatened his hair. Slipped the bracelet back onto his wrist. 

He swallowed. “I don’t think you can fix this,” he whispered into her hair. 

“No,” she said back, knowing what he really meant and lacing his fingers around her own. “That’s something you have to do for yourself.” He rest his chin against the top of her head. “Only you can decide you earn that.”

She ran his fingers along his spine. “Dinner’s getting cold,” she said, but didn’t move. 

He let her push her fingers into the tense muscles on his back, needling out the pain he hadn’t wanted to admit had wormed its way under his skin. “I will,” he said, trailing off as she stepped back and looked at him. “I will fix it.”

Previous

Masterlist

i made a pink drink

Tag List:

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[diana-bookfairchild]

@fluffbruary Day 2

Annabeth had been at Camp Half-Blood since she was seven, and never had it felt so incredibly quiet.

She could even pick out the sound of the falling lava from her demigodly enhanced senses. Harpies weren’t scuttling. No swords were clashing in the arena. Nobody was laughing. Nobody was scolding the Hermes Cabin for pulling another stupid stunt or prank.  

It was so quiet it gave rise to too many memories.

The memory of screaming, of hitting Luke over and over, begging to go back and save Thalia gave her nightmares even now, even knowing that Thalia was brimming with life, running and hunting and leading, practically immortal.

She considered her knife. She’d long since washed the blood off it but it still dripped red in her mind. Despite there being no trace of it physically, the knowledge that this weapon had been the one to kill Luke, the one who had promised her a family, the one who had given her the gods damned knife in the first place haunted her.

She shuddered and held onto her knees.

Here she was, sixteen years old, feeling like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders (she ought to know, she’d carried it once).

“Hey, Wise Girl,” She heard from behind her, and turned, smiling suddenly, to the only person who called her that.

“Hey Seaweed Brain,” she greeted, as he came to stand in front of her. The grey streak in his hair was brushed to the forefront. “Bored without me already?”

“Hardly,” Percy smirked. “Tyson’s way too excited, and I love him, but his hyperactivity is worse than mine and is going to kill me.”

Annabeth blinked in surprise. “Excited? For what?”

Percy shrugged, not answering. “What were you doing out here?”

She hesitated. “Thinking,” she answered finally.

He nodded knowingly. “Memories?”

She smiled slightly. Percy Jackson – the person who knew her better than anyone. Her twelve-year-self would’ve shrieked with horror. “Memories,” she agreed softly.

Percy hummed slightly, coming to stand beside her and wrapping an arm around her waist. He’d always been a tactile person – something she attributed to his being raised by his mother – but was also wary of anyone within six feet distance – something she attributed to his asshole of an ex-stepfather – but since they’d begun dating, it had reached a whole new level. He was always standing beside her, near enough to feel body heart, holding her waist, hugging her, cupping her cheeks when they kissed.

Annabeth had to admit she loved it.

“When I was six,” he began. She turned a surprised gaze on him. He was staring out at the sound, face wistful. “My mom and I went to see the Rockefeller Christmas tree. She took me on a boat ride and to see fireworks and all the cool toys in the shops, and then after the lighting we ate tons of blue candy and she sang me to sleep.”

A warmth spread through her, replacing the sting of her previous thoughts. She imagined six year old Percy in a food coma – drooling, obviously – lying on a bed with Sally, smiling and having happy dreams. She was fiercely glad Gabe Ugliano had not ruined her boyfriend’s entire childhood.

“When I was nine,” She replied in kind, nudging his shoulder slightly. “I went to Mal’s home for Christmas vacation. His dads took us on a tour of City Beautiful and all the art museums. Then we had a cake for his sister’s birthday and we slept under the stars.” Of course, Wright’s architecture had become less and less something she modelled hers on after the segregation and the decimations and all the stats Jude - her history and mathematics focused brother - had collected, but it remained one of her fondest memories.

“Remember that time we tried to team up for the arts and crafts project? The statue making one? We ended up nearly destroying the pavilion?”

“That was mostly your fault,” Annabeth decided, grinning.

“Me! We tried marble carving because you’re the most ridiculously ambitious person on earth!”

“You had a simple job! We were only working on the mould—”

“The laurel was your idea and that’s what started the whole mess—" Percy argued.

“Yeah, well, it’s better than how the baking fiasco went and that was your fault,” Annabeth changed the subject, because she knew the arts thing had been because she was too much of a perfectionist.

“I never said that we had to do it while you were hungover,” he grumbled. “Nor that you had to invite Thalia and Parindra and the Stolls. The Stolls, Annabeth!”

“Oi, Chosen One!” She heard Connor Stoll howl. “We sent you there to get her! Not join her to flirt and badmouth us!”

“We’re not flirting, Stoll!” Percy called back annoyedly. “No wonder you can’t get a date if that’s how you think it works.”

Several Greek curse words were his answer.

Annabeth hid an amused smile. Percy was closest to her and Grover, but he was also friendly with pretty much everyone (though mostly the Stolls, Katie, Lou Ellen, and …. Silena and Beckendorf). His friendship with the Stolls was admittedly entertaining to witness. She’d grown up with them and hence was used to how irritating and yet loving they could be. Watching Katie and Travis insult one another was a camp pastime - along with watching her and Percy, as she’d learned later. She promised herself once more she’d skewer whoever had suggested that.

“Why did they want you to get me?” She asked curiously.

Percy grinned crookedly. “Same reason Tyson’s so excited.” He held out his hand. “C’mon. Let’s go meet our annoying, eavesdropping friends.”

Annabeth snorted. “Unfortunately, that’s the only kind of friends we have.”

Before he started, she tugged on his hand and leaned up to kiss him. She felt the same pleasurable thrill she always did. He laughed, sounding surprised, his thumb tracing her cheekbone, and tilting his forehead to press against hers.

“We should probably get going if we don’t want our idiot friends not to tease us.” Percy sighed.

“Toooo late,” Rachel Dare said in a sing-song voice. She grinned, her green eyes twinkling as she turned around the wall. “Come on, lovebirds.” She made a gesture practically commanding them over, and Annabeth considered not obeying just to irritate her, before remembering her phase of irrational hatred against the other girl was over.

“Coming, Rach,” Percy rolled his eyes, sounding amused.

“What is going on in here?” She asked, half horrified, half amused as they entered the Big House’s movie room. “Does Chiron know?”

“What Chiron doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Miranda Gardiner flipped her hair, as well dressed and groomed as she always was. Lou Ellen stared at her with heart eyes as always. Will Solace was chatting with his friend Cecil. Nico was sulking and trying to pretend he wasn’t listening in on that conversation. Thalia was with several girls from the Aphrodite, Hephaestus and Hermes-turned-minor-god cabins. The Stolls held court. The Apollo kids – Kayla Knowles and Gracelyn Johnson in particular – were using the things around them as instruments, though all of them were unusually subdued. Not surprising – they’d lost four members to the battle.

Annabeth herself had lost one, and she wasn’t surprise to see her remaining siblings either fiddling with something, reading a book, or in Mal’s case, dribbling a ball.

“They’re here!” Tyson cried out, noticing them.

“Finally!” Malcolm rolled his eyes. “Percy, we sent you ages ago!”

“Oh, don’t bother them, Mal.” Valentina Diaz chirped from beside Miranda and Thalia. Aphrodite’s daughter batted her eyelashes at them. “It’s so romantic!”

“I think they need another dip in the lake.” Connor declared.

“So they can spend another hour kissing in there while we wait for them to make a scene?” Clarisse snorted. “I think not.” Chris laughed and kissed his girlfriend’s temple.

“Well, it was your fault for tossing them in there,” Grover said logically.

“What G-Man said,” Percy nodded, falling in the couch next to Nico. No surprise there. He was ridiculously protective of the younger boy. “Besides, aren’t you wasting even more time?”

“Wasting time for what?” Annabeth demanded, temper beginning to flare. Her boyfriend rubbed circles on her back, which made her ease back. Nico was watching them with an odd expression.

“Well, Chiron’s only locked out for a little while,” Travis said. Annabeth raised her eyes to the heavens and decided not to question it.

“So we decided to watch a movie!” Mirabelle Fleamont, daughter of Tyche chirped.

“A movie,” Annabeth said flatly.

“Yep,” Everyone chorused, even her traitor of a boyfriend. Percy grinned at her.

“Shove up, squirt,” Thalia said, coming to squeeze herself next to the three of them. Nico sighed and grumbled audibly. When Will offered to let him sit on his couch though, he shut his mouth and leaned against Percy, cheeks pink.

“What are we watching?” Gracie demanded, bouncing on her feet.

Immediately, a chorus of variegated answers greeted her, the answerers turning on one another in scorn and rejection and in some cases joy and agreement instantly.

“This is ridiculous,” Annabeth heard Clarisse mutter.

She had to agree. They’d just fought a war five days ago. They were all tired, grieving, traumatized messes. They were child soldiers.

And yet.

Nico was arguing passionately for his very old movie. Nyssa had spirit back in her eye Annabeth hadn’t seen since Beckendorf. Sherman was challenging someone to a duel in a way he hadn’t since the Ares-Apollo feud. Drew made an incredibly catty comment that a couple people giggled over in a sense of fun and camaraderie unfelt since the Labyrinth. Malcolm was bossing everyone around, unseen since he’d had to take on the mantle of Assistant Strategist. Thalia, Percy, Katie and Jude were in agreement over which movie to watch but still felt the need to argue edition.

They were happier than she had seen in a long time.

Wasn’t it in the end what they had fought for? Their right to love one another, to be messes, to argue and be passionate and run and be free and fight and live?

Who was Annabeth to stop them?

Annabeth leaned back into her seat, and called loudly for Roman Holiday. There was a moment of silence, then Percy and Thalia shook their heads in disbelief and lectured her about taste and pandemonium broke out again.

So many people she loved, happy, with her, surviving.

What more could she ask for?

[ocean-blue-whump]

Night Out

Shorter update, but building up to something bigger!

Heist Team Masterlist

Tagging @painful-pooch @winedark-whump @justplainwhump @thingsthatgowhumpinthenight - let me know if you want to be added/removed!

CW: alcohol, drugging + kidnapping

***

Scipio turns his head, nodding to acknowledge the woman who just sat down next to him at the bar. “Oh, they got you too?”

Ace shoots him a glare as she shows the bartender her license and orders a drink. “I hate your accent,” she grumbles, playing with a piece of her hair. 

Scipio laughs and downs the rest of his beer. “Awh. Still young enough that the bartender asks for your ID. So I have to ask, who pushed you over the edge?” For the past week, Penn has been keeping all seven members of the team cooped up in an apartment while he and Jude went over building diagrams and other things. Seven people, seven strangers in one apartment… “It was Penn for me,” Scipio says. “He obviously doesn’t think very highly of me. I don’t really know why, but…”

“Fuckin’ Markham snores.” Ace takes her martini from the bartender and turns to face Scipio. “Since he and I are sharing the couch, I haven’t slept well all week. And do you think there’s something off with Hollis?”

Scipio frowns and orders another beer. “What do you mean?”

Ace shrugs, taking a small sip of her drink. “Well, you’re in a room with him so you’d know better than me. He just seems off.”

Scipio’s been holed up in a room with Darien and Hollis for the week. Penn and Jude have the other bedroom. “Yeah. To be fair, all us fuckers are a little off, no? Darien is bloody terrified of Penn. Jude also seems to not be a fan of yours truly, which obviously means she has poor taste.”

“You think…very highly of yourself.” Ace smirks and leans forward, her black hair spilling across her shoulders. She’s pretty, Scipio can’t deny that, but she’s definitely not Scipio’s type. She’s got an air to her, like she’s good and she knows it, like she came from money. She keeps her back perfectly straight while she sips at her martini. “You know what? Fuck it.” She raises her glass towards him, a smile on her face. “Let’s get drunk and let’s make some bad, bad decisions together.”

Scipio takes his beer from the bartender and gently clinks his stein against her stem glass. “Cheers, love.” 

***

As it turns out, Ace can drink him under the table. They both stumble out onto the street, Ace laughing. Scipio groans and holds his head, his mouth sour with the taste of beer. “Ace, babe, you didn’t tell me…” He leans over, stumbling across the pavement. “You didn’t tell me you could hold your liquor.”

She laughs again and turns her head to the sky, shrugging on her sports jacket and a pair of leather gloves. “Don’t be such a bitch, Scipio.” 

Scipio flops down on the curb, taking a deep breath. “Oh, love, I’ve no idea where we are right now.” 

“Eh, they’re not gonna miss us much.” Ace sits down next to him. “It’s the Penn and Jude show over there. Probably still holed up in their room planning shit without us. You know, I could have done a job this week. Could have made some money.”

“Like you need it,” Scipio mumbles. He’s not completely trashed, but his filter is gone. 

Ace opens her mouth to respond, but out of nowhere, a huge, muscular man dressed in all black and wearing a hood runs up behind her. He yanks her up off the curb, easily holding the drunk woman in place while he holds a cloth to her mouth. 

Scipio doesn’t stick around to watch Ace fight. He pulls himself to his feet, staggering around before taking off in an unsteady run. 

He doesn’t make it far. The man is on him in no time, grabbing him from behind and lifting his legs clean off the ground. 

Scipio tries to fight it, tries to squirm around in his drunken state, but it’s no use. The cloth is pressed and held firm against his mouth and he has no choice other than to pass out in the man’s arms. 

[tmarshconnors]

How the apostles died

1. Matthew. Suffered martyrdom in Ethiopia, Killed by a sword wound.

2. Mark. Died in Alexandria, Egypt , after being dragged by Horses through the streets until he was dead.

3. Luke. Was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous Preaching to the lost.

4. John. Faced martyrdom when he was boiled in huge Basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution In Rome. However, he was miraculously delivered From death.

John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison Island of Patmos. He wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation on Patmos . The apostle John was later freed and returned to serve As Bishop of Edessa in modern Turkey . He died as an old man, the only apostle to die peacefully

5. Peter. He was crucified upside down on an x shaped cross. According to church tradition it was because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die In the same way that Jesus Christ had died.

6. James. The leader of the church in Jerusalem , was thrown over a hundred feet down from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club.

This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.

7. James the Son of Zebedee was a fisherman by trade when Jesus Called him to a lifetime of ministry.

As a strong leader of the church, James was beheaded at Jerusalem. The Roman officer who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial.

Later, the officer Walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and Knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.

8. Bartholomew. Also known as Nathaniel. He Was a missionary to Asia. He witnessed for our Lord in present day Turkey. Bartholomew was martyred for his preaching in Armenia where he was flayed to death by a whip.

9. Andrew. He Was crucified on an x-shaped cross in Patras, Greece. After being whipped severely by seven soldiers they tied his body to the cross with cords to prolong his agony.

His followers reported that, when he was led toward the cross, Andrew saluted it in these words, "I have long desired and expected this happy hour. The cross has been consecrated by the body of Christ hanging on it". He continued to preach to his tormentors For two days until he expired.

10. Thomas. He Was stabbed with a spear in India during one of his missionary trips to establish the church in the Subcontinent.

11. Jude. He Was killed with arrows when he refused to deny his faith in Christ.

12. Matthias. The apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot. He was stoned and then beheaded.

13. Paul. He Was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment, which allowed him to write his many epistles to the churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire. These letters, which taught many of the foundational Doctrines of Christianity, form a large portion of the New Testament.

[moments777]

HOW THE APOSTLES DIED.~~~

1. Matthew

Suffered martyrdom in Ethiopia, Killed by a sword wound.

2. Mark (not an apostle,but one of the first missionaries)

Died in Alexandria, Egypt , after being dragged by Horses through the streets until he was dead.

3. Luke ( not an apostle, but was Paul's doctor)

Was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous Preaching to the lost.

4. John

Faced martyrdom when he was boiled in huge Basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution In Rome. However, he was miraculously delivered From death.

John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison Island of Patmos. He wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation on Patmos . The apostle John was later freed and returned to serve As Bishop of Edessa in modern Turkey . He died as an old man, the only apostle to die peacefully

5. Peter

He was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross.

According to church tradition it was because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die In the same way that Jesus Christ had died.

6. James

The leader of the church in Jerusalem , was thrown over a hundred feet down from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his

enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club.

* This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.

7. James the Son of Zebedee,

was a fisherman by trade when Jesus Called him to a lifetime of ministry. As a strong leader of the church, James was ultimately beheaded at Jerusalem. The Roman officer who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial. Later, the officer Walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and Knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.

8. Bartholomew

Also known as Nathaniel Was a missionary to Asia. He witnessed for our Lord in present day Turkey. Bartholomew was martyred for his preaching in Armenia where he was flayed to death by a whip.

9. Andrew

Was crucified on an x-shaped cross in Patras, Greece. After being whipped severely by seven soldiers they tied his body to the cross with cords to prolong his agony. His followers reported that, when he was led toward the cross, Andrew saluted it in these words: 'I have long desired and expected this happy hour. The cross has been consecrated by the body of Christ hanging on it.' He continued to preach to his tormentors For two days until he expired.

10. Thomas

Was stabbed with a spear in India during one of his missionary trips to establish the church in the Sub-continent.

11. Jude

Was killed with arrows when he refused to deny his faith in Christ.

12. Matthias

The apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot, was stoned and then beheaded.

13. Paul

Was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment, which allowed him to write his many

epistles to the churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire. These letters, which taught many of the foundational Doctrines of Christianity, form a large portion of the New Testament.

14. Simon the Zealot

Simon was traditionally martyred by being sawn in half.

15. Philip

Philip evangelized in Phrygia where hostile Jews had him tortured and then crucified upside down. Some sources have him being stoned

Perhaps this is a reminder to us that our sufferings here are indeed minor compared to the intense persecution and cold cruelty faced by the apostles and disciples during their times For the sake of the Faith. And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: But he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Pass on to encourage other Christians.🪶

[judesmoonbeauty]

This was supposed to be a quick fluffy drabble inspired by a recent beach trip, but it quickly spiraled into an angsty fic instead so.....here you go. Sorry it's not shorter. WC: 3,028 Discord Writing Prompt: First Kiss CW: No happy ending ┃Being in the water Pairing: Jude Jazza x Reader Pronouns: You/They Tags: SWF ┃Angst ┃Revenge ┃Pining ┃First Kiss vs. Last Kiss Summary: ... and soon you’re pinned against a barnacle encrusted support beam, with Jude wrapping your legs around his waist, and twining your fingers with his as he holds them over your head. The waters churn around you both from the wake of sea vessels going to-and-fro in the port, salt stings your eyes, and your bodies.... Dividers: @.natimiles [Master List]

A pile of spent cigarettes lay at the feet of a couple well-polished black shoes whose owner stood on a dock at the port of London. Aimlessly staring into the horizon, Jude lingered there all morning chain smoking, until he finally pulled the last of his cigarettes from the silver case with his initials engraved on it.

“Why not get this one, Jude? The filigree is lovely, and you can have your initials engraved at the top?”

A distant memory surfaced of a shopping trip you accompanied him at a haberdashery when he need to replace his damaged cigarette case. It was just before he had tricked you into leaving Crown on a pseudo-mission by his design, and essentially barring your return to England..

He was convinced that although it was cruel, it was a necessary act because Jude had almost forfeited his resolve to push you away, and that surely would’ve led to your demise. That outcome was frightening to him. He wasn’t going to fail to protect another in his life*.* Fortunately, his scheme went off with out a hitch and he was able to avoid the worst possible outcome that had awaited you.

Affairs were arranged for you to kept from the country for a few years in comfort, until your face was forgotten by his enemies, and hopefully once it was time for you to return, you would’ve found a new life elsewhere and not bothered to comeback to England at all. He even had Ellis slip a blank check into your luggage with a brief note, hoping it would jump start your new life. It was money, but it was a small price to pay if it kept you safe.

“For the troubles Crown put you through. Write any amount.- Jude Jazza”

However, even though he regularly reviewed his account, you never cashed the check and he scorned the thought of how pathetic and sick it made him feel. Money was the only true form of sincerity after all, and it was like you were throwing his sincerity back in his face. That was seven months ago, and now it seemed like the only thing left to do, if you decided not to cash the check, was to let go of you completely. Jude pulls a letter from his breast pocket, it was still neatly kept as all his important documents are.

“Hah, buncha rubbish.”

Recalling the day you left on your faux-mission, Jude watched you say your goodbyes with Crown, hidden in the shadows at a distance. Despite what his heart told him to do, he trampled those feelings dead that day, and let you leave with out incident. Listening to the gentle wake of the waves thrash into the dock’s support beams, the hollow reverberations echoed like they were mimicking the hollowness inside his soul.

“Jude, are you expecting a delivery? I didn’t see one scheduled on the manifest? Oh, isn’t that the letter they had me deliver to you the day they left?”

With out answering Ellis back, Jude tossed your letter of well wishes into the sea.

“Jude, I won’t say don’t get injured, that’s an impossible to ask of you, but could you please try to not get injured as much as you usually do? I’m worried about you. I’ll see you again when I return from Crown mission. ”

Ellis lowered his head in sadness as he witnessed Jude coldly eradicate you completely from his life, but neither Ellis nor any other person ever know that Jude had been chain smoking that day to stay with what remnants he had of you for just a little longer. Feeding the ever starving, yearning heart that Jude cemented away with this final morsel. The letter floated on top the water and the overcast skies dimmed even further, just as Jude’s once vibrant eyes now lacked luster.

His brooding mood became worse when one of the squawking seagulls overhead promptly defecated a white chalky splotch on the shoulder of Jude’s jacket..

“Bloody hell. Ellis…..”

He ripped off his ruined jacket and shoved it into Ellis’ chest, who skillfully caught it with out tainting his own clothes.

“Burn it.”

“Sure, Jude.”

Salty sea air slipped into Jude’s mouth as he dropped his final cigarette like his was dropping a heavy curtain on his time with you, dividing him into the shadows and you into the world of the light. However, this was for the best and there was no room for miscalculation when it came to your life. He would not allow it to blow out unnecessarily quickly like a candle’s flame.

Ellis tapped Jude’s shoulder, “Um, Jude…..”

“What?”

“They’re back.”

“Hah? The hell are ya sayin’ nut job?”

Hard clacking heels hit the aged wooden planks of the dock from behind Jude, whomsoever footsteps they belonged to, they were aggressive. Please let it not be you.

“Jude Jazza!”

He closed his eyes when his silent wish was dashed to pieces. Listening to your seething call hit his ears feeling both like a soothing balm to his soul and a troublesome irritant. Jude turned around and with an arrogant smile, only to be met with a crumpled wad of paper being thrown into face.

“You bastard! A blank check? Sorry for your troubles? Really? Were you seriously trying to buy me off?”

Blitzing him with a series of rapid questions, he chuckled at your perturbed face, he loved that expression, so much so, that he wanted to do nothing but piss you off even more now. Picking up the wad of paper, he could tell that it was the blank check he’d given you as compensation.

“Ha, looks like you’re were smart to fig-“

“You can keep your damned money you arrogant prick!”

Thud! Splash!

Jude couldn’t even finish his sentence before you tackled him into the bay. The water was so cold it stung your body, and no sooner after you both broke through the surface and caught your breaths, Jude had grabbed your shoulders and shook you.

“Have ya lost your damned mind? Do ya know how dangerous the stunt you just pulled was?”

His hands grabbed your chin as he started to inspect you for injuries, lifting your arms, checking your hands, and moving your hair out of the way to check your neck. Determined to remained focus on the reason for your visit, you swat his hand out of the way.

“Why? That would be a good thing for you, wouldn’t it? If I died, I wouldn’t be a nuisance to you anymore, and you’d not have to worry about keeping me under house arrest. I’d be a huge financial savings for you!”

You didn’t mean to cause a scene, but it couldn’t be helped either, months of anguish that had been simmering finally gushed out like a geyser. Jude pushed you under the dock to avoid the stare of onlookers. That’s when you saw the a crumpled letter float by you, and when you picked it up out of curiosity, your eyes widened that it was your note you’d left him before you departed England.

Jude watched you expectantly, waiting for a barrage of questions as to why your crumpled letter was in the ocean, but was surprised when you simply dropped it back into the water like it didn’t matter to you anymore. There was a certain finality of your movements that he didn’t like, but he didn’t have long to ponder that thought before it was answered.

“I just came to return the check. I don’t want nor need your money. Don’t insult me like that ever again. I’m leaving. Ellis, are you there?”

Ellis’ head popped over the side of the dock, “I’m here.”

“Will you help pull me up please?”

“Sure thing.”

Swimming towards Ellis you stretch out your dripping wet hand to grab a hold of his, when a scowling visage grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards himself instead.

“Let go,” you hissed.

“Shuddup. Ellis, I gave you task now do it.”

“Oh….right. Um, I’m sorry, but…..” Ellis apologized to you with large twilight eyes filled with regret.

“It’s fine, please do as he says.”

Ellis pauses for a moment before he leaves you both under the dock to continue your conversation, and soon you’re pinned against a barnacle encrusted support beam, with Jude wrapping your legs around his waist, and twining your fingers with his as he holds them over your head.

The waters churn around you both from the wake of sea vessels going to and fro in the port, salt stings your eyes, and your bodies are chilled to the bone, but in the face of him staring at you and inching closer and closer to you in silence, none of that mattered.

Jude’s grip tightens and the silence poured between you both is broken when his cold lips that had been grazing yours finally pecked you softly as soon as he sensed what he thought was your quivering anticipation of his touch.

Chu……..chu…chu.

His lips carefully met yours teasing them sweetly, it was so different from the hard forceful kiss he gave you the time he pulled you from the river. Every emotion he felt about you deep from inside was being charged into these kisses, and when his tongue gently nudged your lips for permission to enter, and you granted it - not out of weakness, but from something else. This is what you’d always craved from him, his true feelings, his love, his heart, his vulnerability, and now you held it in the palm of your hands.

His tongue tangled with yours and the heat from inside your mouths overwhelmed the salty bitterness from the wet kisses. Gaining a sense of security, he relaxed his grip from your hand and grabbed your thighs, and you both tilted your chins to angle your mouths for deeper, more lewd kisses. Sounds of both your moans echoed under the dock and finally breaking a part, you both rest your foreheads against each other.

“Let’s go, or we’ll get sick,” he said and you nodded in compliance.

After making it back a top the port’s walk way, you both rang out your dripping wet clothes, “I’ll escort you home.”

“What?”

“I’ll take ya home to change ‘n then we’ll have Roger check ya out to make sure everything’s alright.”

Hesitating to respond to him, you finish ringing out your clothes, and then politely decline his assistance.

“Thank you, but you needn’t escort me home, it’s quite far from here actually.”

“Whaddya mean? It’s just across town. That shack ya live in above that bakery or whatever.”

“Shack?” You mumble at his slight towards your previous living quarters.

“Oh, did ya get a new place when ya came back? Tell me where ‘n I’ll take ya,” Jude said he was examining the damage done to the book in his holster.

“I think you’ve misunderstood something, Jude. I’m not staying in England, my ship sails late this afternoon.”

His attention locks onto you in disbelief. That must be a lie. Jude closes the distance between you both so that the tips of your toes touch the other, and he stares at you in silence waiting for further explanation.

“I told you, I was here only to return your blank check.”

“Ha! That’s rich. You’re crazy if ya think I’m lettin’ ya escape my grasp a second time. No way in hell,” Jude grabs your forearms tightly, and you stare at him in disdain for his conceited presumptuousness. He often tells you not to be conceited or to think that he’d ever be willing to put his body on the line for you, but he fails to recognize when he becomes full of himself, and it was this fault that drove you not to return to him.

“Escape a second time? I never ran from you in the first place. Did you forget that you coerced me into a farce mission to drive me away from you and Crown?”

He started to refute, but silenced himself when he had no ground to stand on. You’re right, it was my doin’ but…

“I did what I did to protect ya….because - because I…..I love ya. Dontcha understand that?”

He was finally being honest and genuine with his feelings. Watching him fight his natural inclination to bury those feelings deep in his core, and expose them to you was truly satisfying and beautiful, so beautiful because…..

“And? Do you honestly think I’m so thick in the head that I don’t grasp that much? I know why you did it, but what does that matter?”

His sorrowful face quickly soured since it seemed unthinkable that your love for him had washed out so quickly, that his feelings you tried to pry from his calloused and scarred heart meant nothing to you anymore.

“Listen closely Jude. This is a concept you should understand very well, since you were the one who taught this to me after all.”

Straightening your spine, you grab him by the chin bringing yourself nose to nose with him. The thought of kissing him, being touched by him, or being loved by him - they were all figments of hope that you decided to leave drowning in the watery grave beneath you. What happened under the dock, was what you allowed to happen and now everything was almost complete, now you just needed to give him something to mull over for the rest of his life in regret…..

“Why should I have to put my heart on the line for you? Why should I have to risk my happiness and well-being for you? Why should I have to forgive what you’ve done?”

He was stunned in silence, his face skewed stupidly as he didn’t expect you to ever utter those words, but he was further floored by what you said next.

“Is it because you’re a villain? Is it because you’re cursed to suffer a terrible fate? Because of your wealth and power? Should I have to forgive the months of pain and yearning, or of being confined in a foreign country, in house where I was alone, simply because you now want to be honest with how you’ve felt about me all this time?”

You grip his jaw tighter and stepping forward an unexpectedly strong opponent against him, and for the first time in a very very long time, Jude took a step back. You gritted your teeth an fought back tears that wanted to spill from your eyes, because you would never ever let yourself cry in front of Jude Jazza again.

“Three months. I cried every day for three months, I could barely stomach food. In the fourth month, when my tears finally dried up, I thought of how I should execute my revenge, and started to look for a way to make it back to England. A month ago, I was able to board a ship in secret and sailed here to meet you. I’ve done nothing, but think of how I wanted to cast you aside the way you did me.”

The hand that gripped his chin slid down to his neck, and tightened on it like he did to you so many times in the past. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he stared you in disbelief, your audacity seemed to be stoked even more since he last saw you.

“You took away my right of choice to stay at Crown. And whether you returned my feelings or not, I was happy to stay there, and I never once asked you to protect me! It’s as simple as that.”

Every moment you spent with him was a blessing and whether he loved you or not, you just wanted him to be healthy and happy, you never wanted this world to turn with out him on it. All you needed was to know he was alive and living his life with out apology as he always done. However, for ripping you away from all you held dear, for taking away choices that weren’t his to take, to be lied to and tricked and avoided - there was a limit even for the one you loved so dearly.

Grabbing him by his collar and yanking his ear up to your mouth and whisper to him, your voice laced with apathetic resignation.

“Be pleased, Jude. You’re getting what you wanted since the time we met, my disappearing from your world, to live in the light……or maybe I shall go dwell in an even darker place than you do now? Who knows, maybe I’ll even become an enemy to Crown one day, and you’ll get to kill me yourself?”

Shoving Jude with as much power as you could muster, he fell backward on his bottom and watching you walk out of his life like a figment of his imagination, and like the flicker of a flame from a candle going out, you disappeared.

True to your word, every day for the rest of his life he relived the death of your love on the dock that day, your words echoing inside him from the moment he woke up and into the depths of the very fabric of his dreams, driving him mad. Go to a darker place? Become an enemy to Crown? What did any of it mean? Who were you with and where were you?

Thinking back to the day he saved you from the river, your first kiss with him, he should’ve kissed you more sweetly, and held you more closely. He should’ve never let you go that day. As Jude was tormented by such thoughts day in and day out, the poison of your vengeful last kiss sank so deeply into the marrow of his bones, that if he ever lay eyes on you again, surely you’d both fall asleep in death together.

@ichigostellaglynn @atelierquinn @mrslelouch

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Ten (Part 3)

We finish our breakfast and help to clean up, and then Claire and I leave to check our bags into our hostel. It’s not far away, just a few streets over but even by the time the sun has fully risen and the early morning fog has dissipated it remains bitterly cold. We leave our things on our beds, two singles in a private room, and I quickly put on another layer under my jumper. My mother, who was, to my chagrin, right once again, insisted that I bring thermals with me. I’m thankful for them now as I roll the warm jersey over my body and feel my skin tingle with heat. 

Feeling more adequately prepared, Claire and I take the train into the centre of the city and wander around taking in the sights. “It really is quite nice, in a harsh sort of way.” She comments. “It’s weird that there’s that sort of mixture of really old buildings and then new ones, all butted up against each other.” We stand looking at the Brandenburg gate for a while, take some photographs of each other and then walk through an enormous public park with bare trees that I can imagine would be full and bursting with beautiful colour in the summertime. There are other people milling about a bit, pushing buggies and walking dogs, but on the whole it feels empty compared to the photographs I’ve seen on Jude’s Instagram page where he and his friends sat on crowded lawns, drinking beers, or swimming in the lakes. Despite the bleakness of the season, I still find it easy to imagine the life a person might enjoy in a place like this. 

We find a great Chinese restaurant for lunch, where the waiter flirts outrageously with Claire while pretending I’m not there, but the food is delicious, and afterwards we throw ourselves elbow deep in thrift shop bins, pulling out anything and everything that looks remotely mid-century. I find a pair of lavender flares and a ruched lilac top and buy them for a combined cost of six euros, while Claire settles on a black polo neck top and a white mini skirt. Later on she scores big with a pair of white knee height boots.  

“Are you having fun?” I ask her while we drink coffee in an Irish pub near the Checkpoint Charlie, our bags crowded around our feet, and she tells me that it’s nice to get away from it all for a while. I nod, knowing just what she means. 

When the evening folds in and the sun gives way to a moonless sky, we hop on the U Bahn back to Neukolln. The streets have burst into life now with music that streams out from the clubs and the bars. Jude buzzes us into his apartment and we trudge up the seven stories on legs weary from walking, but seeing his face on the other side of the door makes me feel like life is slowly pouring back into my bones. 

“Welcome back.” he says to us, and he has a swipe of dried plaster on his cheek that I itch to wipe away for him. He looks as tired as I feel, but even so he’s in the middle of cooking yakisoba noodles for us, and the small apartment is filled with the aroma of soy sauce and shiitake mushrooms. He has a bottle of sake open on the counter, and pours a glass for each of us. 

“Wow, you wouldn’t get this at the Ritz.” I settle onto a bar stool at the counter to watch him cook as Claire heads to freshen up in the bathroom. “How was your day?”

“Busy, as usual. It’s been just kind of crazy lately, what with everything, deadlines and whatnot… Like I’m not really in the headspace to be all that creative, which isn’t ideal because I’ll need to have my final project ready for the exhibit, well, soon. Very soon.”

“I know how it is.” I muse. “Something about the period between Christmas and summer always feels so manic. I feel as though you blink and it’s passed you by.”

“Exactly.” He grabs a bottle of mirin and splashes a glug onto the sizzling pan. “But I hope your work is going well. Seems like you’ve been pretty much killing it with the illustrations and the murals.”

“Yeah, my Valentine’s Day cards sold really well.” I boast. “Right now I’m working on some for Father’s day.”

“Ah, an important day.”

“Right.” I say, knowing that we both have relatively useless fathers. I glance around me to take in the room, with lamps lit and casting warm light over the furniture. There are candles lighting too, dotted around on various shelves and tables, and a shiver of something, maybe appreciation, or comfort, ripples through me. “It’s so nice to be here.”

“I know, it’s actually so rare that one of us is in the other’s space like this, isn’t it?” A pause. “Except for the last time I saw you, obviously, and I bled all over your kitchen table, which we can strike from the record.”

I chuckle. “I think it counts. It was pretty fun, even with all of the blood.”

“Did you ever get that t-shirt cleaned?”

“Oh god, no. It was destroyed, but don’t worry, I chucked it into the bin.”

“Glad to know you haven’t been wearing it around the place.”

“How’s your eyebrow now, by the way?”

He turns to grin at me. “Scarred.”

“Oh, no way.” I say, and he comes to lean on the counter so that we’re eye to eye and I can see it,  the skin shiny and pink, and it slices right through his eyebrow, forging a gap in its wake. “Wow.” I say “I can’t lie, it’s a bit iconic.” 

“Sexy, right?” He says proudly, and his eyes do a quick tour of my features. He gently takes his lower lip into his mouth, like he’s thinking about saying something else, but then Jonas makes a loud entrance and throws open the fridge to grab a bottle of beer. “Hello again, Evie Kilbride.” He says loudly. “I’ve heard that you will be choosing the movie tonight”

“Am I?” I say. “I suppose that I can, if you like.”

“Yes.” He says. “I just have the feeling that you have the very best taste in everything. It’s all in your hands.”

After dinner, the four of us settle around the television and watch Black Swan. It’s late now, and we are tired, and nobody says a single word, no questions, no comments. When Jude shifts positions next to me and accidentally presses his thigh against mine I wait for him to move it, but he doesn’t. In the dark of this room, where the only light is the glow from the television screen, I risk a glance at his face, and he looks right back at me, saying nothing. But I swear there’s something in his eyes, because at that moment they seem to glitter even brighter than the city lights outside the window.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[astridhansleyy]

Past para|| Jude&Astrid

Where: The reef bar

Who: @pcrdita

What: The first time Jude and Astrid meet and flirt but, who knows how the night will end and what it'll bring?

Astrid:

Being back in Aurora Bay after nearly seven years was brutal. Leaving New York after a very successful career was even worse. For Astrid it wasn’t a huge deal, she wanted to meet up with some people she knew, and meeting new people was something Astrid just liked to do. Partying back in New York made you the IT girl, the most desirable person, and probably interesting too. As she walked into the reef bar, she felt like the hottest person there. Wearing a tight dark purple dress with matching heels, her hair waving on her back as she took a sit by the bar. Usually, before going to the Oasis club she went to the bar to start her night. Sitting next to a couple of her girlfriends she ordered everyone a few cocktails. Astrid could feel everyone’s eyes on her.

Jude:

Two months had passed, and it had become clear, Jude hated California. Sure, there were perks, a lot of his vices were a little more legal here compared to back in Louisiana, but the people here grew to be more insufferable by the day. Maybe except for his employees, some young kids that worked to get by, just like himself. A few of his neighbors weren't half bad either, they'd managed to be able to drag him further into town away from his beloved new pet project to have a drink and smoke. And, of course, the women of the local area were half bad to look at. Lounging out in the smoker's area, his beer sits in the summer heat with condensation running down its glass towards the table. As the chatter and laughter grew around him, he settled into the sweaty night ahead of him.

Astrid:

Even though the last place Astrid wanted to be is Aurora Bay, being back and living on her own in her childhood town made so much sense. Becoming a teacher at such a young age wasn’t exactly Astrid’s plan but, the pay was good and it wasn’t for long anyways, she’ll be back in New York in no time. As she was sipping and giggling with her friends she looked around, literally scanning the room to see if she could find entertainment tonight? The men seemed not as bad as she imagined. She even saw a blonde one sitting on his own. Astrid didn’t stare and didn’t let him know she wanted him to approach, but she had an interesting effect on people. Usually, she got what she wanted.

Jude:

Once in a while, Jude would contribute to the conversation, but really he just wanted to smoke and enjoy the music only just audible over the sounds of the bar around him. With a few slaps on the back, the men encourage him to get his head out of the clouds and talk to someone. One knowing him from his past life in Louisiana, Jude had a new woman in his bed almost every night. Always polite, and treated them well, but known for his taste in a lot of debaucheries. But tonight he'd yet to find the spark, and Jude had been unwillingly locked in by one of their arms to be dragged to the main bar on the inside to a group of women having a night out. A wolf whistle and a few nudging of shoulders from the boys, but silence on Jude's end, focusing on the cigarette, bellowing out smoke into the air around him. That's when he saw her, between the wisps of smoke. She wasn't his usual type, a city girl at first glance. But a lot of them did seem to have a fascination with men like him until it got a little too much for them to handle.

Astrid:

Astrid liked going out, all she ever did was work and go out. She felt like a night without a drink, a smoke or a line wasn’t a good night. She liked dancing until her feet hurt and she back felt all twisted. She liked meeting men, making them hers for the night, and then moving on. She didn’t care for relationships that much either. While sitting and leaning against her chair she threw a few glances around really just to focus on someone interesting. Then, ordering another drink.

Jude:

Putting out his cigarette on the table behind him he leaned against it, he pulls a fresh one out of the packet in his pant pocket. it took a moment to consider the fact he didn't bright a lighter with him, and had been bumming a light off the morons next to him making a downright fool of themselves. He turns to the blonde in front of him that didn't seem to be in mid-conversation, "got a light?"

Astrid:

Astrid was a bit annoyed by the loud man sitting not far from her and her girlfriends. She couldn’t stand when men were all up in everyone’s business and she was about to say something when someone spoke to her. Just before turning around, she could see her two girlfriends looking up and to add to that they looked totally mesmerized by him. She glanced up at the male, taking out a lighter and giving it to him, all while not breaking eye contact. “Here you go,” She said as she put the cocktail straw between her lips. “You have annoying friends.” She said giving him a light smirk and looking at him with her devilish blue eyes.

Jude:

He couldn't help but laugh gently, lowly, because she was right. "they're not my friends." More the people that managed to drag him out every once in a while, he didn't really have the heart to tell them he'd rather blow his brains out than have a conversation with them. Most of their conversations revolved around women, but not in the best way. Jude himself was no stranger to the humble one-night stand, but he didn't understand the reasoning for how they spoke about the girls that gave them the time of day. He hands the lighter back to her.

Astrid:

Astrid raised her eyebrows. She never understood the appeal to hang out with people you don’t actually like. She always surrounded herself with people she adored and adored her back. “So why are you with them, then?” She said glancing at the men sitting closely. They were the kind of men you just wouldn’t feel safe around. The way they talked about women made Astrid sick to her stomach. The blonde next to her didn’t seem like a fit in their group. She kept looking at his eyes, they were kind eyes. Astrid always knew that you could tell so much only by looking into someone’s eyes. She took the lighter from the man and lit a cigarette too. “You’re not from around here, are you?” She asked as she took a hit from her cigarette.

Jude:

Jude shakes his head, gently, placing the newly lit cigarette between his teeth and savoring the first breath, an amused smile curves into the corner of his lips, — he wondered the same damn thing. "By force." It was true, he'd almost been physically extracted from the workshop earlier today to go out for drinks. He exhales the smoke, turning to watch the other men for a second, before turning back to the blonde woman. "No," he confirms, his look and accent alone would be enough to confirm he did in fact not come from this atrocity of a state. "You don't seem to look like one either."

Astrid:

Astrid looked up and down at the male, trying to read his body language. She felt a calming energy from the male. She didn’t feel like she was about to hit on her, they were simply two people having a conversation. As he replied she raised her eyebrows at him “By force? Huh…interesting” she said as she fully turned to his direction, crossing her legs. Astrid obviously knew he wasn’t from around here by his southern accent. He sounded like a movie character. “The answer to that would be yes and no. Yes, I grew up here but no, I am not from around here. Just got back actually.” She said licking her lips after taking another sip from her cocktail.

Jude:

He can see her scanning him over, he can almost feel her deep blue orb's gaze burn into his skin. It causes his brows to furrow momentarily. Turning around, he catches eyes with other patrons, a few girls offering him coy smiles that said everything he needed to know about their intentions. Those girls were more his type, and on any other night, he might have excused himself to get down where he'd rather be on a night like this. But for some unseen reason, he found himself turning away to focus on the blonde. He doesn't respond to her observation, it seemed giving the men beside him the time to say in conversation seemed a waste of time. "You came back here?"

Astrid:

Astrid didn’t care about other girls. Everyone’s eyes were already on the two. She knew she was probably the hottest person in the room and what was more suiting than having the hottest guy in the room come up and talk to you. She put her entire focus on the man standing in front of her. He looked so good it made her a bit nervous even. “Can you believe it?” She joked as she inhaled the smoke in and out. “How about you? What brought you to this small town?”

Jude:

Jude didn't care about his status in the room, albeit he knew he had a physical quality that did seem to be appealing to a certain demographic of women. He would never complain, it had gotten him some really fun nights over the years. "Came here for work." Not even a pretty face could bring him to a place like this, only financial stability.

Astrid:

Astrid looked behind her to see where her girlfriends went and saw they were talking with some other men. She returned her gaze back to the male as he spoke again. “That makes the two of us, then.” She said smiling softly

Jude:

Jude noticed two by two people had splintered off from the two groups to head to the bar. He wonders how long it'll take for them to realize the idiots they were dealing with. "Where is home really, then?"

Astrid:

Astrid didn’t really know how to answer this question as it was a very good one. Where is home really? Aurora bay wasn’t her home and New York wasn’t either. All Astrid did was try to find herself but also, what can you actually expect from an almost 26-year-old? The word fun was the only reasonable thing on Astrid’s mind. “I guess I am still trying to find it.” She said in a calm but confident tone. “I’m Astrid by the way.” She added.

Jude:

Jude nods a very relatable answer. If he was asked, he probably not consider the old small town he grew up in. And even then, as much as he loved the years in baton-rogue he still felt a little transient. And now, Aurora Bay still felt rather foreign. "Hmm." He offers back, shifting his position to lean back against the table behind him. Taking another huff of the cigarette, the blonde begins to introduce himself. Astrid, how cosmopolitan of a name. "Jude, pleasure."

Astrid:

Aurora bay was Astrid’s home for many many years but considering what happened to her years ago, she didn’t consider it her home anymore. Living in New York City was every ballerina’s dream. Attending Juilliard was a dream come true. Astrid loved through it all just to come back yet again. Astrid kept her eyes on the man as he spoke again “Jude? That’s an interesting name.” She said smiling.

Jude:

Jude tried his best to behave, but he couldn’t ignore the purple dress wrapped around her figure. As he exhaled a long bout of smoke, his gaze lingers for just a moment, not for too long. Despite not being the traditional woman he gravitated towards, she was gorgeous. And, well, he was merely human. “Either that or Judas.” He notes a bout of humored air emitted with a small hint of bitterness. His father might have been long gone from his life, but his coarse voice cursing his son as Judas rang clear enough it could have been said yesterday. “Depends how you feel about me by the end of the night.”

Astrid:

Jude looked like a total model. He was tall, and handsome, and looked like she could pick her up and carry her around without any problems like she didn’t weigh anything. Her eyes drifted around his face, focusing on his rosy lips. His lips were screaming kiss me already. Yup, she was definitely attracted to the male. “Judas? Come on that’s the coolest name ever!” She said giving the male a light smirk as she put her hair behind her ears. “So you have something planned for us, I see?” She said as she finished her cigarette and put it out.

Jude:

Jude didn’t hold her response against her. Astrid didn’t know about his abusive father, she didn’t know about the murder that unfolded in his childhood home, and she didn’t know that the nickname came out of malice. Out of context, it seemed like an edgy name for a biker like himself. Jude lowers his features, thumbing the cigarette in his fingers. “I had an idea or two.” Jude knew exactly what he wanted to do. “If I can pry you away from your girl's night, that is.”

Astrid:

Astrid was definitely getting intrigued by this man. He wasn’t her usual type, she usually hangs out with the rich and famous but, never someone a bit rough around the edges. The man seems interested enough to keep the comb going and she couldn’t complain. “I’d like to hear about those ideas,” She said giving him a flirty look. Astrid then looked behind her to see where her girlfriends were and since she couldn’t spot any of them she whipped out her phone and read through the texts. “Well, they kind of have their hands full so…I am all yours, “ She said smirking and putting the phone away.

Jude:

Jude turns to put out his cigarette in the bowl behind him, before glancing over towards the men whose laughter grew more obnoxious with each sip of their drinks. "Well, first, get out of this shit hole." He turns back to Astrid. "I know somewhere better." And no, that wasn't a euphemism for his bedroom, "been on a motorbike before?'

Astrid:

Astrid watched Jude’s every move. She tried to make him feel like all he needed tonight was her and her only. “Agreed, go on.” She said as she slowly got up, fixing the end of her dress as she looked up at the male “Lead the way, handsome.” She said biting her lips as she kept her eyes on him “Nope, never, but I am always down for new and exciting adventures.”

Jude:

That was his cue, straightening his back to a standing position. He must admit, he often added the bike into the conversation as it added to the 'bad boy' stereotype that seemed to work very much in his favor. "After you." He motions with his hand gently towards the door.

Astrid:

Astrid liked everything about Jude, from his blonde curls to his beautiful eyes, and even his choice of clothes. What she liked the most was how they clicked. She felt pure excitement as she walked out of the reef bar, glancing back at Jude “Which one is it?” She joked as there was literally only one massive bike next to the bar entrance. “I can’t see it? Is it here?” She asked as she literally stood up next to it, joking of course.

Jude:

Shockingly, the first proper smile of the night managed to grace his lips. Meandering closer to the blonde, close enough she'd be able to feel his breath on her face. He extends his hand to lightly rest on her hip. "you'll need this." glancing to the side, he picks up the helmet hanging over the side of his back, before returning his gaze back to Astrid's.

Astrid:

Astrid managed to make the male smile and it was just a huge plus in her book. She smiled to herself trying not to show how much she was blushing and then when the male was close enough she couldn’t break the eye contact even if she wanted to. She felt like she was under a spell. “Thanks,” she said as she put the helmet on. She then waited for the male to get on his bike.

Jude:

He mounts the bike, kicking back the bike rest. Turning back, he vegs the engine just to show off a little, "hold on." He meant it.

Astrid:

Astrid hooped on the bike behind Jude and held him tight, wrapping her arms around his body. She felt like she was part of a romantic comedy or something. This felt just surreal. “Oh god,” she said as she felt a bit nervous

Jude:

Zipping around the streets, Jude felt an unfamiliar warmth traveling from within his spine up toward his chest. Was she causing this? He wants to shut it off, but at the moment it felt too good, as the cool wind hits his face with each turn of the wheel. After ten or so minutes of driving, they arrive at a smaller bar near the water. The people sat with their drinks engaged in conversation and, as Jude believed, real laughter. Stepping off the bike, he holds out a hand for Astrid to take. "How'd that feel?"

Astrid:

As the ride began she felt pure adrenaline flowing through her body. She held Jude tight and felt so alive. Maybe it was because she was high already but this felt great! As he was pulling up and offering her his hand she hopped back down, looking up at him again. “Oh wow, it was fun!” She assured him. “So…we went from one bar to another?” She asked looking around.

Jude:

Jude offers a gentle laugh, taking the helmet off the blonde's head, even taking a moment to fix the strands that ran wild from the wind. "yeah, just you wait." Placing a hand on the small of her back, he guides her through the door. He knows the bartender who greets him as he arrives. The bar itself was nestled on a pier just out of town, and he had something to show that Astrid might like to see. "Not many people know this place exists, or what you can see here." directing her further towards a balcony that provided views of the small bay, he directed Astrid's attention down into the water. Below them, were millions of Bioluminescent Algae, shimmering neon blue in the lapping water, covering the edge of the entire bay.

Astrid:

Astrid was confused, she was so sure he was taking her to his place to probably hook up that she didn’t open up to the possibility that some men are simply not like that. As he took her helmet off she couldn’t stop blushing, she felt like a schoolgirl. Something about Jude drive her nuts but, she wasn’t about to show him that it did. The blonde let him guide the way as the bartender greeted him she smiled back. As the two stood on the balcony she listened to what he said as her eyes followed his direction. As soon as her eyes landed on the shimmering neon blue Algea, she could feel her eyes widening and being in complete shock. Who knew this view existed just around the corner? She’d never seen anything like this before “Wow, that’s…that’s amazing” she mumbled in pure disbelief. “How did you find out about this place this is ridiculously beautiful!”

Jude:

He's not sure why he bought her here, Jude never brought girls here. This was his space outside of the garage where he'd come at night and just watch the algae roll in and out of the tides. His fascination with the algae only developed over time, something so incredibly beautiful could be so dangerous to touch. He watches her expression, actively hoping she saw the same beauty in this space that he did. He isn't sure why he brought her here, but he was glad he did, and it made no sense at all. "Grab one" motioning to the small box of smooth black stones on the patio railing, he pulled out one for himself. Tossing the stone out into the ocean, it hit the water, and the neon light exploded through the water. "Stumbled upon it by accident." He turns his features back down to Astrid, holding her gaze for a moment.

Astrid:

Astrid was shocked. She didn’t quite understand why he brought her here but, she couldn’t really complain either as the sight was one of the most beautiful things she has ever seen. The way the full moon shined against the dark water along with the sparkly algae was something pulled out right out of a fairy tale. She grabbed one stone and looked as the male threw his “Oh wow.” She said as she then throw her stone and saw the light exploding once again. “Happy accidents “ did she just quote bob ross?? Well, she didn’t care, she was too thrilled. The high from the drugs she took back in the reef bar was definitely working now. “Thank you for bringing me here, this beauty is just…uncontrollable.” She confessed. Astrid always loved nature and the ocean. She could sit and watch it all day if she didn’t have an actual job.

Jude:

Jude takes a moment to watch her, with an unbridled sense of joy. The fear of bringing a stranger into his little started to dull down a little. Maybe it was the alcohol to blame that made him confident this was the right individual to show, maybe not. Leaning an elbow on the patio railing, he turns his body to completely face Astrid's. "Our little secret, hm?"

Astrid:

Astrid felt mesmerized by the view. She couldn’t help but smile and not remove it until her face literally hurt. She snapped back when the male leaned on the patio railing, turning his body to face her. She then turned to him too. She looked at him with a spark in her eyes, wondering how this man had this strange effect on her. “Deal,” She said nodding.

Jude:

He wants to make a move, and usually by this point he would, shamelessly offering something tantalizingly dirty into the girl's ear. But that felt wrong, the more he watches the pure joy emitted by Astrid the more the unfamiliar warmth in his chest grows to. He had to do this right. After a moment of holding her gaze, Jude slowly lets his hand gingerly rest on her hip. He closes the space between them, stops, and looks back at Astrid as if to wait for the signal she wanted him to go through with this.

Astrid:

Astrid usually didn’t care much for her nightly boy toy but, Jude had a different feeling, he was different. She couldn’t explain pinpoint the reason yet, but she liked it very much. When the male placed his hand on her hip and close to the space between them, all Astrid could do is look deeply into his eyes, telling him to go for it. She didn’t say a word, this was a pure moment and she didn’t want it to ever end.

Jude:

As soon as he got the green light, Jude gently tugs at the girl's hip to pull her to his own, and allowing their lips to finally meet. He starts slow, and soft but gains confidence.

Astrid:

When the male kissed her she actually let her foot pop up behind her like she was a princess kissed by her Prince Charming. This was ridiculous and yet, so…dreamy. She wrapped her arms around him as she felt his tight grip. She could kiss him all day, he was a great kisser too. Fuck, what was he doing?? Why did she feel like this?? Astrid didn’t want to give herself like that but, she felt like it just made sense.

Jude:

This feeling, it wasn't normal for Jude. The burning sensation in his chest hurt so good he didn't want to let go of it. He just met this woman, and within an hour she had him wrapped around her finger. Everywhere she touched his skin, it came alive like the blue algae — he hoped to high heaven she wouldn't be dangerous like it was. Wrapping both of his arms around her waist, he leaned in for a longer, deeper kiss.

Astrid:

Feeling his touch made it feel like they have known each other for years and not a literal hour. She was so unfamiliar with this feeling that it made her so nervous, she could feel herself shake a bit. It was the good kind of nervous, she could feel her heartbeat rising as they kissed. She could kiss him all day if he'll let her. By this point, she was his. She pulled away gently and kept looking into his eyes "Wow..." She said as she seemed stunned "Damn, you're good..." It was funny that at the beginning of the night, Astrid was sure he was a sure thing, something simple and harmless., but now oh boy, she hoped this is going to be good.

Jude:

As she pulled away, Jude kept his hands wrapped around her waist. He didn't want to let go, not yet. "Be honest, you're more impressed with the algae." he jokes, an honest low laughter coming from his lips, letting a stray hand travel up from her hip to push a lock of her beautiful blonde hair away from her eyes. Then, gently stroked his thumb over her cheek. (edited)

Astrid:

Astrid couldn't help but laugh at his joke "Shut up, you're way more interesting now." He had her full attention. Even if the most bizarre thing was happening right next to them, she wouldn't move her focus off Jude. The attraction was undeniable, she felt like she couldn't contain herself any longer. She felt like she was getting herself into a sticky situation but, she didn't care, not now at least. All she wanted was him.

Jude:

"What about you?" He asks, once again the brazen streak fills his eyes, gently leaning in place a kiss on the skin under her ear, "got any secret hiding places of your own?'

Astrid:

"What about me?" She asked and then understood where he was aiming. "Well...don't we all have our secret places? I am still looking for a special place though...I can show you lots of places if you're ever visiting New York." She said raising an eyebrow. Being back in Aurora Bay with all the changes it went through in the last couple of years, she didn't really find herself there quite yet.

Jude:

"Hmm." He breathes against her skin, planting another further down her neck. "I guess I have a reason to see New York then." Ah, NYC, another place he was vehemently against visiting — at least until now.

Astrid:

Astrid bit her lower lip as he planted another kiss down her neck. She defiantly wanted him to do more than that but...they needed to go somewhere more private for that. "Good, you won't regret it, sweetheart." She said giving him a playful wink "So...what's your deal, Judas? What made you come up and talk to me?" Yeah, she went there, she needed to know, she liked hearing a bit about herself as any other girl liked as well.

Jude:

Pulling back at the reference to the name, Jude clears his throat and returns to a standing position. He doesn't appear mad, no, just in a moment of bliss weakness managed to sting a little more than it needed to. Pondering her question for a moment, Jude looks away towards the water "You saw right through the others." By the others, he meant the idiots that dragged him to the bar in the first place.

Astrid:

Something about his body language after she called him Judas, made Astrid feel like he didn't like being called this way. She was so good at reading body language and obviously, didn't want to overstep anything. She smiled sweetly "I guess sometimes we do things in our nature and don't even pay attention that we're doing it, right?" She said as he defiantly didn't fit in the idiot gang he was sitting with.

Jude:

Leaning back to rest his elbow and body weight on the patio railing, he listened to her words, nodding. An arm reaching up to once again push back a lock of hair from her face. "Or things that aren't in our nature." Like this, right now.

Astrid:

Astrid understood exactly what he meant and she honestly? Couldn't agree more. Jude felt so comfortable to be around and to talk to. It felt unreal. "You're right..." She said letting out a soft sigh and shrugging her shoulders "This feels right, though..." She added not really knowing how the other felt.

Jude:

"I'm going, to be honest with you" Jude begins, letting the same hand slip down from her ear to her hip, thumbing casually at the fabric under his hand. "I've never been the guy that's only interested in one woman at a time." He was no prince charming, he didn't get want her to get any impression of that. "I don't know what happening here, it's kinda fucking terrifying me." A nervous laugh emits from his lips. His gaze drops down, embarrassed, he was never a man to speak so frankly about his feelings. "But that's good, I feel good right now."

Astrid:

Astrid shifted her full attention to the male as he spoke. It was crazy how much she could relate to what he was saying. It was like he took her words out of her mouth. "I feel the same...I've never connected with someone so quickly and intensely...it freaks me out too, but also kind of makes me want to have more." She confessed "Usually, it ends with good sex and a good night but...I don't know...this is weird. In a good way though..."

Jude:

"I mean." An amused shrug follows, grinning off into the air above him "Good sex can absolutely still be involved." You can teach an old dog new tricks, but some tricks are very hard to unlearn.

Astrid:

Astrid let out a giggle as the male spoke. “Hmmm is that a promise?” She whispered in his ear. She knew how to flirt and her looks were a definite plus.

Jude:

“Don’t judge me but, that’s all I’m going to be thinking about from now on.” The grin on his lips grows wider and wider, the hand still resting on her hip dropping further down her back.

Astrid:

“I can’t judge you if it’s the same for me.” She said returning the grin. She basically let him do whatever he wanted.

Jude:

"I guess now's my cue to suggest retiring to my place, correct?" Squeezing his fingertips at her hips, a playfully coy grin dangles from his lips.

Astrid:

“Good boy.” She said looking at him and placing a kiss on his lips. She liked how passionate she was around him. She couldn’t control herself anymore.

Jude:

He receives his confirmation, and Jude wastes close to no time with navigating the woman back through the bar and toward the care. The last hour was a blur, spending the first half an hour in a mood smoking in the corner of a bar, to wanting to take the most gorgeous woman he'd ever laid his eyes on back to his place. and the craziest part of all of his, he didn't even want to make plans for a swift escape the next morning. provided she didn't make her own rendezvous the next morning, he did catch earlier on that she was high, he wanted to see whatever this was through to the next day. Some people would say taking a chance on strangers of such was crazy, and maybe it was, frivolous and immature. But at the end of the day, it didn't matter, her touches brought out an explosion of emotions he'd never felt before, and even if this was to end by morning, he knew it would of all been memorable. "Hold on." passing the helmet back to Astrid before mounting the bike himself, he glances back towards the soft blue light from under the pier — and smiles.

Astrid:

-Fade to the next morning-

After a crazy, fun, memorable night. Astrid woke up feeling dizzy as she looked to her right and saw Jude sleeping. Usually, she didn’t stay until the morning or tried to make a run for her luck before the boy toy of the night woke up, but today she felt different. She remembered everything even though she was high out of her mind. Jude felt amazing and it was like he knew exactly what she liked and didn’t like. She got out of bed, and put on her panties that were lying on the floor next to the bed. She went to the bathroom trying to text her girlfriends telling them what happened.

Jude:

Jude had never woke up a little fuzzy-headed, for a moment it took his thoughts to process, glancing to the side to see the other pillow. Empty. Now Jude had been a serial Irish exciter, so why on earth did this sensation of dread fill his chest? Sitting up to rub his eyes, finally, he catches the familiar purple dress still sitting on his floor - she was still here.

Astrid:

Astrid sat in the bathroom texting her best friend talking to her about the amazing night she had with Jude, she was as filled with a weird sensation of not really wanting to leave. Since last night she felt differently. She couldn’t put her finger on it but she did feel a certain way. She brushed her teeth with whatever she could find and walked out of the bathroom, seeing that Jude is woken up. “Hey, handsome.” She said as she got into bed kissing his cheek “Last night was…interesting.” She said glancing at him hoping with her whole heart that he felt the same.

Jude:

As he hears the bathroom door close, Jude rolls himself back into the sheets, as if to pretend he’d just woken up and not been searching for her. As Astrid steps in to kiss his cheek, Jude lifts an arm to the pillow to prop his head up. “Mornin’” He leans back in to kiss her properly, “Full disclosure I’ve never woken up next to someone, so I don’t know the process of what happens now.”

Astrid:

Astrid kissed Jude back as she let out a sweet giggle when the male spoke again. The truth was that she never actually wanted to stay the night with someone. Usually, she came, did what they did, and went on her separate way, that’s it. Jude made her want to stay and it wasn’t something he said, he felt just right. “Same…” She said putting her knees against her chin “Are you hungry? I can make us some breakfast? Or go somewhere? Or I can just go it’s cool with me too!” She wanted to give him every option because if he didn’t want her around, she would gladly leave.

Jude:

Jude was scared, there was no denying that. But at the same time, he didn’t want her to leave him, at least no just yet. If she was going to vanish into the ether he wanted just one more hour. ”Hmm…” He glances up towards the ceiling, he knows he doesn’t have much food in the house to make breakfast for the both of them. “I’m up for grabbing breakfast.”

Astrid:

Astrid was scared and she could clearly say that Jude was scared too. Yeah, she didn’t want to leave but she wouldn’t force herself to stay if she was simply not wanted around. When the male spoke again she smiled blushing lightly “Good, I just need to change and fix my face so can we stop by my place? I mean my friend’s place actually because I am still new back.” She said giggling awkwardly. Now that she wasn’t high anymore, everything felt more real.

Jude:

Jude pulls himself up into a sitting position, combing back his hair between his fingers. "yeah, sure." he was not really sure what to do right now, taking her out for breakfast seemed like the most gentlemanly option, that was what he was supposed to do, right? "let me just shower."

Astrid:

Astrid kept looking at Jude as her head was filled with thoughts. Maybe it was all in her head? Maybe she just needs to go home because he doesn’t want her around and is just too nice to say it? Astrid never expected more from him. He didn’t owe her anything, after all, they were strangers. “Uh-sure, go ahead.” Like he needed her okay to shower. She lay down and looked out the window as the sunlight brightened up the room.

Jude:

Jude comes back into the room feeling a little fresh, and pulls out clothes that were intentionally a little nicer than his usual choice of casual attire — he did have company today. He feels a little more confident now, after downing some water and hot steam to help cure his hangover. He meanders back over to the bed. "Ready?" (edited)

Astrid:

As Astrid was laying on the bed her distrusting thoughts filled her brain, she felt like she didn’t deserve to be loved and couldn’t shake the feeling that Jude wasn’t interested even if both of them knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. She snapped back when she heard Jude speak again. She jumped out of bed and out on the dress and heels she wore yesterday “Yeah sorry I am” she said as she stood in front of the taller male.

Jude:

Jude takes a moment before responding looking over the blonde standing before him, even in the morning with messy hair and no makeup she was still incredibly beautiful. That being said, he reaches out again to push back a familiar lock of hair from yesterday. "If you change your mind you can tell me to fuck off, I won't hold it against you."

Astrid:

Astrid was surprised at the man’s reaction “Yeah, same for you, we don’t have to go out, and you don’t owe me anything.” She assured the male as yet again, it was a simple hookup. She wanted to give him the option to leave before seeing if this was more than what she thought it was. This was his chance to shine. (edited)

Jude:

"I wouldn't have brought you here if I wasn't interested." He offers back, watching the lines that formed the expressions on her features. Jude doesn't want her to think she has to stay.

Astrid:

Astrid got her sneer right there, she knew the male really wanted her around and she did want to stay. She looked up at the male, looking at his sweet lips as she placed a soft kiss against them. “You’re sweet.” She said as she took his hand and led him out of the apartment. She felt like this is going to be a good day.