#keep forgetting i can just edit posts normally

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Have some art + fic rn cuz i had this idea plaguing me for a whlie in my first playthrough of the game and i needed to have it realized.

I don't want to edit my writing just yet so i'll do that later, but for now have some mentally unstable Siffrin 👍

I'll come up with a title ltr, prob when i edit this and post to ao3 (so if this gets reblogs just check out the og post for latest ver.)

For now the warnings you should know of are just character death, lots of Siff hating himself, and i think suicide ideation? I wrote this a few hours ago n still don't want to go back just yet but basically its nothing that doesn't already exist in the game

Fic starts under the cut! Roughly 2000 words

(edit: i forgor some colors don't exist/can't be seen 🤡, fixed now!)

Siffrin can’t seem to fall asleep at all anymore. The night right before the loops he can only pretend to get some rest before facing the king. He isn’t quite sure what the reason is. Being stuck in one place for too long? Useless? His urges to reach out for Isa’s touch that keep him awake at night, yearning for connection that is immediately are followed by disgust in himself?  The pure exhaustion at the thought of repeating the next day again? None seem to be the answer. Maybe its a combination.

He only knows that he’s exhausted. Exhausted, yet unable to rest. Even if he were able, would he want to risk what ever dream or nightmare his head might concoct? A blend of memories and deaths to remind him that he can’t escape?

Not being able to sleep makes them worse at the loops too unfortunately. They got along fine for the first few loops after his first sleepless night, though the mistakes ramped up. They cursed their body, cursed themself for being so weak. Simple and stupid mistakes getting them killed via boulder when they forgot and slip of the hand resulting in the weakest of Sadnesses offing him.

Loop of course taunted about his failures, like they always do. He couldn’t fully blame them, knowing deep down he deserved it. There was a pull he sometimes had though, to rest with them, even for just a little bit. He’s hung out with them before, when it gets overwhelming, never for very long. Despite that, to actually sleep with them is a different story. Different vulnerability that, he wasn’t comfortable with. Too weak, he didn’t need another thing for Loop to tease him about. No matter how tempting it would be to sit in the tree and doze off. He wouldn’t doubt that, if he could rest at this point, he would doze off until the next loop.

He can’t have that. He can’t let his family die again.

The next loop began, the stage set, and Siff opened his eye, despite every ache in their body telling them not too. They can’t listen to their body right now though. They need to travel the entire house in the next few loops for anything he might have missed before. One more sweep. 

He carries out his lines, plays the role he’s meant, rehearsing the other actor’s lines in his head before they speak up. Familiar steps, expressions, directions. When they get to Isabeau, they slip up again, Isa’s concern blooms. But they’ve seen this before. It’ll be fine. Their gut twists at forcing Isa to be concerned, but theres a warmth in it too. That Isa cares. Cares about them. It’s strange, when Odile gets close to the truth, stars when she FINDS OUT the truth, there isn’t any warmth. Just, fear. But knowing Isa won’t find out, just cares and makes them promise to talk about it at a time they know won’t come, it’s a guilty pleasure. At least, for now. Before it becomes meshed with all the other lines Siffrin has come to expect from The Fighter.

While navigation the House like normal, they slip up occasionally, interacting with objects that spark Odile’s concern. They don’t bother reversing the mistakes, he hasn’t slipped up that much. There’s no way she could know. Siff crumbled on the first floor at the counter they jabbed themself into again. Unable to see it and always stupidly forgetting to be cautious there. Stupid. 

And they kept making mistakes. Their exhaustion pulling at their body, their nerves eating them alive. There’s no warmth with new lines of concern from their actors. Just spikes of panic followed by their attempts to reassure them. To continue on.

By the final snack stop before the King, their actor’s change the script again. Siffrin tensed, their hand tracing the handle of their dagger in case of emergency. Odile… odile doesn’t call out suspicious connections to time craft this time. Everyone just.. Just asks him to nap.

The third floor they had fumbled the most, their quick grabs at the keys became more clumsy against his will. His hands can’t stop shaking. The aches won’t cease their whining in his body. Change, of course they noticed, they aren’t blind. The script is similar, repeating the words that simultaneously warm his body and send nausea through it. They’re a family. They care.

Absently, Siffrin notes Mira’s asking him if he’ll accept a comb, again. At least that’s familiar. At least one of them new the script to stick to. And, he really wouldn’t mind it again. The loops reset his hair back to the tangled and knotted mess it was when he startled back to awareness in Dormont. Everytime. Sometimes they briefly wondered if Mirabelle would comb their hair out back in town too. They would never ask though.

Their family quietly chated as Mirabelle combed through his hair. Gently, dare they think lovingly. Careful not to hurt him. Like he’s fragile and weak. Pathetic. They are pathetic aren’t they. For wanting this. Selfish for forcing them. Their hands continued to tremble, as much as Siff tried to suppress it.

The Fighter changes the script first. First to notice. Notice a slip up. They tense, not for any particular reason just, they don’t know this script. The Fighter’s face is concerned but softens. Isa. Isa asked hesitantly it he could see their hands. Siff let him, letting their pathetic shaking hands be engulfed in Isa’s large ones. He hesitantly rubs their knuckles, Mira continues to brush the tangles out of their hair. Siff’s eyelid got heavier, their body screaming to just let go, just relax. They haven’t reached the king yet, the head housemaid, they can’t yet. 

When they heard Odile close her book, another off script action, they jolted up and looked her way. Odile was about to speak up, but hesitated at their startled form. Her concerned and piercing expression remained.

“Siffrin, did you get any rest at all last night?”

They stop and meekly speak up, “I slept..”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Siffrin grimaced, tensing up. “I got.. Some rest. Why do you ask?”

“The fumbling around and absent performance don’t suggest you did.”

She had them there. Their fingers twitch as they internally remind themselves their dagger is still on their person. Even if their hands are occupied with being held by Isa’s. They take a breath.

The other actors contribute, sharing their nerves about facing the King. Needing to be ready before confronting the Threat, that could be their final standing place. No. No they won’t fail. They won’t die here. He might, but he won’t let his family.

Odile is actually the first to suggest Siffrin rest before they face the King. They can’t have any weak links before such a moment. Weak members. Weak. They were clumsy this loop. Their other family members share in the sentiment. They probably think he’s weak too. Their concerned smiles are hard to say no to though. The aches and exhaustion overwhelming his body probably wouldn’t let him refuse such an opportunity either. Surely. Surely they went through the first couple floors quick enough that another fifteen minutes before the king wouldn’t be too long. Right?

It’s a thought that didn’t seem to cross his family member’s faces when he gave into their requests and laid down. Mira scooted over, getting started on the next clump of tangled hair. Isa offered his lap as a pillow, and Siffrin’s slow mind just. Accepts the request. Not noting the dark shade flooding The Fighter’s face as they dragged their body to his lap, their head and partial upper body relaxing immediately. They rest their head on their blind side, one hand interlaced with The Fighter’s, behind them Mira finishing off the last of their tangles. The concern from their family’s faces hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s eased. And that is enough to release the remaining tension in his body. It’s enough. 

Their family makes a few jokes that their brain muffles. Some laughing. Bonnie’s working on their snacks in the corner, still. They’ll be ready when they wake up. Their legs adjusted and placed in someone else’s lap, they think. Whoever it was, rubs circles into their calf. His eyelid grows heavier, their breathes come easy. Deep breaths. Someone rubs their back. 

It’s nice. Really.. really nice. One could easily forget they were even about to face the King at all. Face the end. They close their eyelid. It’s warm. One breath in. And out. Just.. just a quick nap. Where they are loved. They.. they are loved right? This is what this means… at least right now…

Yeah. They hope this is right.

Sleep engulfs them for the first time in several loops and their breaths slow.

The chatting continues around him, not lacking some glances exchanged between the adults in the room. But mostly, just relief fills the air. Mira stayed by Siffrin’s side, threading her fingers through his now completely combed out hair. The flush in Isabeau’s cheeks still hadn’t fully left, every movement reminding him of his crush resting so peacefully in his lap. Like a sleeping cat that once it has claimed you as it’s cushion, you are bound by the universe to not move for any reason. Odile didn’t pass up the opportunity to tease him, met with Isa’s shushing and hushed whisper “what if he wakes up and hears you!!”

Siff had done a lot today, and everyone would have assumed he was completely calm about fighting the king if not for his uncharacteristic clumsiness. Mirabelle supposed it made sense though. A night of rough sleep right before facing the most dangerous threat facing the country? That would make anyone mess up.

After another twenty minutes, Bonnie comes over with the freshly prepared snacks. Made extra special since they were more ahead of schedule than expected. Last hurrah before the king, everyone needed to be at their best.

Mirabelle smiles, heading over to were Bonnie had announced the snacks. Isa attempts to move but flounders at the idea of moving Siff. Mirabelle giggles at his flushing face as Odile moves their legs out of their lap. Well, time to end their nap she supposes. Their sleepy family member probably won’t be too thrilled about waking up but it is snack time.

Mirabelle collects her choice of snack and crouches over to Siff, moving their hat from where it had obscured their resting expression. Isa looked both upset to have the time his crush sleeps on their lap come to an end, and relieved. He lets out a chuckle as Mira gently shakes their shoulder.

“Time to wake up, Siffrin! Bonnie has snacks for everyone.” Mira moves a few hairs out of their face. “Siffrin?”

Isabeau adjusts, and joins in. “Siff? Sorry to wake you bud but..” He pauses, seeing Mirabelle’s face shift. Odile’s gaze sharpens as Mirabelle’s leans over them, placing her ear to their chest.

“They- th-they aren’t” Mira cries out. “They aren’t breathing! No no no-” 

Isabeau moves Siffrin off his lap with shaking hands. Odile rushes over to their side, checking their wrist and neck for a pulse. Bonnie’s face crumbles in the corner, alarm replacing the happy air.

Isabeau shakes Siffrin’s still body, Mirabelle readies a heal craft as Odile begins to try resuscitating them.

but 

the 

world

goes

blank

Siffrin first feels the gentle breeze around them. The grass moving in tune, sometimes brushing up against the small areas their clothes don’t cover. They hear Mirabelle in the distance and when they open their eyes, she’s right above them, apologetic for waking them. Siffrin blinks. It’s been a while since Mira’s been the one to wake them up. 

“Good morning! Well, more like good afternoon, I gue- wow. Are you okay?”

That’s new. Why would her lines-

“You’re crying.. Is something wrong, Siffrin?”

He blinks and brings a hand to his face. Sure enough, his cheek is stained with tears. He doesn’t remember crying, he just woke up too. From..

“Must’ve happened in my sleep” He says absently.

Mira frowns, “Oh no! What did you dream about…?”

Siffrin shrugs and repeats lines he remembers that will reassure her the quickest. She sighs and returns back to town. They’ll be waiting for him.

He takes a moment to think about what happened in the last loop. He.. doesn’t remember dying. Must have been when he went to sleep. That. That probably should worry him, that falling asleep could end a loop, but he doesn’t feel any regret about it. Actually, it’d be nice if all his loops ended like that. Just, dying with his loved ones around. It would take too long though, even if it could happen again. This loop needs to be faster. Last loop they didn’t even reach the king, and they have questions. 

He grumbles as he sits up, a part of him yearning to go back to that warmth. Oh if only the universe could have let it be permanent. A permanent death that didn’t even hurt. That’s wishful thinking though, the universe isn’t so kind. And they have work to do, his family- actors. They need what he knows. He can’t rest forever yet.

The show must go on.

[yurislotusgarden]

Hii!! I have a request if thats okay!! :) i love your works btw! Keep up the good work and dont forget to drink, eat and sleep well!<3

So i was thinking of Chuuya, Dazai, Nikolai, and any others if you wanna add with a reader with a ability who can talk, see and hear ghosts! I think its very cool and it barely has any recognition.. Its like toritsuka (from saiki k!) but the reader is less pervy.. and if its okay; can the reader be female? Its okay if its not!! I dont mind!!

So the reader has this ghost ability thing and they used to get bullied and shamed for it because people caught her talking to nothing but she was talking to ghosts, so she became insecure of their ability and sees it more like a curse. So technically a socially akward reader?

If you arent taking requests then you can ignore this!!

Also can i be 💞 anon?

ʚїɞ Separate! Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nikolai Gogol x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 3208

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, pet names used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way bcs of how I wrote this

ʚїɞ We're gonna ignore how long it has been since I posted, dear 💞 anon I'm so sorry bcs of how long this has been in my inbox ;-;, I decided to wait with writing this until I watched some of saiki k so I could understand the ability at least a little, Nikolai's part is damn short bcs I didn't really have any ideas for him </3, Only Dazai's part was proofread, I'm gonna edit this post later on to correct mistakes on Chuuya's and Nikolai's parts since the person who grammar checks my works is on a short break rn

ཐིཋྀ He loves it

ཐིཋྀ This idiot didn't even realize that you have an ability at first because you didn't show any kind of signs😭

ཐིཋྀ He thought you didn’t have one like Ranpo but was told by Kunikida that you do, however, what it is was gonna remain a mystery until you decided to tell him yourself

ཐིཋྀ He found out on a mission where you guys had to chase down a guy with the ability to create a smokescreen

ཐིཋྀ Was about to say that it's over for the day because the guy was gone before you two could realize it (He had a plan to get the man anyway but didn’t feel like it) but then saw you talking to… air???

ཐིཋྀ Like you were just standing there while looking up and seemingly talking to someone

ཐིཋྀ You ignored his ass when he asked wtf you were doing

ཐིཋྀ The brunet was confused until you finally turned to look at him and said that you know where the guy went

ཐིཋྀ You had to briefly explain your ability when you  walked to where the guy ran off to

ཐིཋྀ He does anything to make you more open about your ability because he adores it <3

ཐིཋྀ He wishes you showed your ability off more AND HE VOICES IT OUT

ཐིཋྀ Odasaku is his guardian ghost so you told him without thinking about it since most of the time a person doesn't know the ghost protecting them

ཐིཋྀ He actually teared up when he realized you were serious and that Odasaku was watching over him :(

ཐིཋྀ He told you about Oda after that

ཐིཋྀ He randomly asks you if you see a ghost nearby when you two are outside (does it inside buildings too)

ཐིཋྀ He does it a lot

ཐིཋྀ Please hit him

ཐིཋྀ Dazai said that he wanted to kill your past bullies and you didn't believe him -he was serious-

ཐིཋྀ And no, he didn't find dirt on those people, not at all

ཐིཋྀ And he totally didn't use it later, not at all :)

ཐིཋྀ He once asked if you ever used it to cheat in school (let’s say you had a normal enough life like Tanizaki’s or something) and when you said yes he nearly yelled out “That’s my girl!” with a grin Kunikida scolded him for being loud, and for not doing his paperwork

ཐིཋྀ Sometimes he hears you talk without looking over and assumes you’re talking to him before realizing that no, it’s actually to a ghost that’s in the room

ཐིཋྀ Once Kunikida and he had a mission but the brunet was not getting up from the couch, so you walked up and after a few seconds you told him that there was a ghost, butt naked, right by his face

ཐིཋྀ He did not look up to see if you were lying or telling the truth, he just jumped up from that couch without a second thought before he was gone out the door. He only realized that you lied once they were back and you were laughing at him with Ranpo

///////////////////////////

Seiji thought he had everything planned out. He really was sure that there was no way to find him after he ran away from the two detectives. After all, who would search for a running thief in the damn sewers when there were so many better places that could’ve been used to hide in the area?

The plan was in fact a good one, in fact. Kuwahara made it look like he was going towards the warehouses nearby to camp out, while in reality, he came down to the sewers using the ladders, as there was one of the many entrances underground right behind a warehouse.

He was so sure that he wouldn’t be found, that he wasn’t seen, so pray tell, why was he standing face to face with the exact two people he was meant to avoid. The atmosphere wasn’t nice, it was cold, and the smell was even worse, Seiji was trying heavily not to let it show on his face since the two people that were after him seemed to be completely unaffected by the environment they were in. What he couldn’t hide instead, was distress. He did not plan on getting caught any time soon, and yet it looks like he’s 8 seconds away from being behind bars.

“How- How did you guys find me?!”

///////////////////////////

This was not what Dazai meant when he said that he would show you how useful your ability can be (you refused more against it being useful than anything else he said about it, so that’s what he settled for), but it kind of worked so he wasn’t complaining.

“How- How did you guys find me?!”

Kuwahara Seiji, a 25-year-old thief that uses his ability to make himself invisible for all of his plans, making it hard for the police to identify him.

“It was kind of easy, actually!~”

“You’re talking as if you had any part in finding him.”

Dazai really didn’t. Once the criminal ran away after throwing a smoke bomb on the ground, (The brunet has to give it to him, It was annoying as hell and many people would give up on going after him once the smoke settled down) the two of you had no idea which direction he went off to, as there was a few possible exits from the warehouse you first caught him in.

His solution? Asking you to question a ghost nearby if they saw the man. You were really skeptical about that, he could tell.  What he also noticed was how confused you were about his question. You didn’t understand why he would want that, at least at first. It was soon after that you realized he meant.

You can see invisible things, ghosts can see other invisible individuals as well, rendering Kuwahara’s ability useless when it comes to you chasing him down.

He realized that little advantage of yours some time back while lazing around on his favorite agency couch.

Your ghost acquaintances can be quite the helpers when it comes to investigating stuff. He heard from Kenji, that not too long ago, you had solved a case that was meant to take around a week, in a day, simply because it just so happened that a ghost was on the crime scene when it happened. You had an easy time getting clues and proving the words of the ghost to the police with their help.

He knows that a few times like those won’t stop you from being so negative about your ability, he’s aware of the impact your bullies had on you mentally even if you try to not show it, but all of those instances give you a step forward to seeing what Dazai and the others do.

“Oh c’mon ‘donna! I was the one who gave you the idea of asking someone!”

“We would be able to track him down anyway. Asking someone just made it faster.”

Catching him in the end was not hard at all. Kuwahara tried to sneak away using his ability once again, but you could still see him without him realizing it. You could see where he was walking off to, making it possible for Dazai to nullify the guy's ability and catch him before leading him to the police vehicle near the warehouse you guys were under.

“See? I told you your ability is really useful and fun!”

“Where do you see the fun in my predicament?” He could tell you were just done with him for the day, besides being confused.

“I mean, you’re almost never alone, right? You always have someone to talk to!~” He knows it’s annoying to see ghosts all the time without the option to just… not be able to do that.

A sigh came from you before answering, “Exactly, complete silence for me is a rare blessing.” in an exhausted tone.

“I would love to never be in complete silence.” He wished that you could have some sort of an on-and-off switch.

“Samu… That’s because your voices would be quiet-” “I do NOT have voices, bella!”

“Sure, continue being in Egypt.”

“What-”

ཐིཋྀ Thinks it's very cool actually

ཐིཋྀ Imma put you down as a florist in this one, or just some small/calm kind of job

ཐིཋྀ When he first met you, he didn’t think about whether you have an ability or not since it wasn’t his business in the slightest

ཐིཋྀ Let’s say that you’re a florist and the ginger came in to buy flowers for Kouyou for example. It just so happened that one of the ghosts hanging around in your workplace was feeling silly, and had been pranking the customers the whole day, Chuuya being no exception

ཐིཋྀ When you were at the back getting the bouquet he ordered the day before, his hat was randomly taken off of his head and was floating in the air

ཐིཋྀ Bro was so confused because he knew his ability was off at the moment

ཐིཋྀ Every time he got the hat back onto his head it just floated back up😭

ཐིཋྀ The menace of a ghost stopped only once you got back out of the backroom and scolded them

ཐིཋྀ Chuuya was confused because ‘Who the fuck were you talking to???’

ཐིཋྀ He asked that exact question and even though you were visibly hesitant and nervous, you still explained your ability since he already saw it anyway

ཐིཋྀ You did not get the reaction you expected, which was being made fun of as that was what you were used to, but he instead complimented it <3

ཐིཋྀ Make sure you don’t let a name slip when it comes to your past bullies because you will see them on the news, missing :)

ཐིཋྀ On one of your first dates/early stages of dating, he gave you Marigolds which you lightly laughed at, causing him confusion before you explained their meaning to him

ཐིཋྀ Yeah, he settled for mostly giving you Cyclamens, Blackthorns, and Bluebells alongside your favorite flowers after that, just for fun

ཐིཋྀ Going with the florist thing or just generally, he would help you around with his ability if there’s something heavier to move around 

ཐིཋྀ He would voice out how often he actually wants to see you, albeit embarrassed, but he will show it in lil gestures a lot more <3

ཐིཋྀ I can just imagine him putting his hat on your head and sliding it down over your eyes before giving you a peck on the lips as a goodbye if he was at your workplace and he had to suddenly go

ཐིཋྀ He would try to slowly get you to not be so insecure about your ability

ཐིཋྀ I feel like one of The Flags would be his guardian ghost which could actually make this man cry at the thought :(

ཐིཋྀ Alright but if you met a past bully of yours, or someone newer,  that would try to shit on you for your ability, just tell him, and he will beat them up happily <3

ཐིཋྀ Or just go and have a nice talk with them about their behavior if you don’t want him to beat them up, I can promise that they will never again be rude to you if they value their lives (Or you will see them on the news or hear about them being in the hospital if they don’t ^-^)

///////////////////////////

“Are you sure that you don’t have work right now?”

“Yes, so shut your pretty mouth up and show what else you need to be moved.”

Renovation. A simple small renovation of your small shop was all that you planned. Moving some of the furniture, and changing the place of a few products for easier finding. You had thought that it would take a few days to take care of it since you planned on doing a few things every day so as to not close up the shop for a whole day unnecessarily (and you didn’t feel like doing everything in one day).

The problem was, he was supposedly not meant to know about that. Chuuya found your graphic open on your laptop and saw the renovation plans before realizing that you didn’t speak a word about that. At first, he was confused. Why didn’t you tell him? He could certainly make it faster by helping you.

Yet soon after that, he realized why. You didn’t want him to know because you knew that he would help and, therefore not do his work, something you were always worried about when he stopped by your shop. Well, he was never one not to help you, especially when there’s such an occasion. he wants a thank you kiss besides being a gentleman, your honor

“Is it really that hard to focus on your job instead of helping me move the furniture?” You sighed, pointing to a bookcase and then pointing to a place where a table stood before. “You’re gonna get in trouble.”

“I’m not, besides- HEY!” Looking up, his hat could be seen slowly floating away. He ignored you stifling a laugh as he chased after the hat. Chuuya would ignore it and just continue on with moving your stuff around, but the last time he did that, the hat was later found in a pot, making him have to wash it as it had a lot of soil on it. (A lot of his subordinates wondered why he didn’t have his hat on the next day, he didn't explain it to anyone)

“Can you tell them to stop?!” He could only guess how funny the situation looked to you. To anyone else, it just looked like the ginger was chasing after a floating hat, but you could see the menace that was taking the object away, so it ended up being funnier to you, if you nearly laughing was anything to go by.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, dear.”

“You’re so mean!”

You hummed softly before answering, “I would prefer to be called entertained.”

“It has nothing to do with what I said, doll.” Was said by Chuuya just as he finally got hold of his hat. Even if the ghost was still holding onto it, at least the hat wasn’t continuously floating away toward the flower-bare pots with just soil in them again.

“Let them have some fun in a while, Chuu, they don’t do it too often.”

“Yeah, and it just so happens that they decide to have their little fun almost every time that I come here.”

“They love you.”

“I wish they didn’t.” 

“It’s better than if they disliked you.”

“Why?”

“There’s a customer that they don’t like for being rude to me,” The ginger frowned at that information but you continued on, “And they are rude back to him every time he comes by my shop.”

“What do they do?”

“Y’know, pull on his clothes and hair, steal his things, and make them completely dirty on purpose, make him think he heard or saw something and that kind of stuff. Pretty sure they stole some of his money from the guy’s wallet.”

Chuuya was quiet for a moment before speaking up. “I think I prefer my hat being occasionally stolen…”

“Exactly!” You shouldn’t smile like that after what you said, but he’s not gonna comment on that one.

“...So the bookcase is the next to be moved, isn't it?

ཐིཋྀ He fr felt betrayed that he didn't know immediately 

ཐིཋྀ Like he could know you for 5 minutes and be offended that your ability wasn’t one of the first things you said about yourself

ཐིཋྀ He finds it so fascinating that you can contact the dead so easily

ཐིཋྀ Don’t tell him who his guardian ghost is, no matter how much he asks

ཐིཋྀ Just hit him every time he asks, I promise it works to keep him from asking for the next 3 hours <3

ཐིཋྀ You can bet that he talks to Fyodor and Sigma about your ability (He asked you to tell Sigma that there’s multiple ghosts watching him all the time, he believed. Sigma did not sleep for the next 5 days at all because of that thought)

ཐིཋྀ You said it to him again because at some point there was a ghost actually following him, but Sigma didn’t want to believe it

ཐིཋྀ He’s gonna ask a million times for you to join him in pranks if you won’t agree the first time

ཐིཋྀ Just imagine telling someone a ghost-related thing that they can’t prove is not true

ཐིཋྀ You caused someone to be in hospital after they didn’t sleep for way too long

ཐིཋྀ You told Fyodor that there’s a ghost hanging around him all the time, but didn’t say whether it’s the guardian one or some random one, you just left the rat to ponder on which one you mean (Nikolai died when he found out)💀

///////////////////////////

“WAIT! What do you mean there’s some ghost stalking me?!” Nikolai could tell that Sigma didn't expect to be told something like that today, but again, who would?

“I didn’t say stalking, I said following you around as they seem to be interested in you.” Why did you smile so innocently at that? He doesn’t know but he does encourage you since it gets more reactions from the bi-colored-haired man.

“It doesn’t make it better?!”

“I think it does! Some ghosty is interested in our little Sigma!” He had to add something to the fire, what kind of a person would he be if he didn’t?

“Don’t call me that, Nikolai!” 

“But whyyyy?” It was Thursday, the day that the white-haired clown dubbed ‘the best day to prank Sigma!’, even though he says it every week. He also deemed himself lucky as you finally agreed to help him prank the younger man again after rejecting him multiple times.

“Because I’m not little! And I won’t believe you guys again.”

“I don’t agree,” You spoke up, “Even the ghost agrees that you’re small!”

“See Sigma? We even have your beloved ghost on our side!”

“That’s no ‘my’ ghost, and I don’t believe that they said it. [Name] could be lying for all I know!”

“But do you have any way of proving that it’s a lie?” Nikolai couldn’t wait until he took the bait.

“...”

“Exactly!” You grinned before speaking up again a moment later, “They actually have a cute nickname for you that I’m thinking of using now…”

“Should I be scared?” Nikolai regrets not getting you into the pranks earlier, after all, the younger one had no way to prove you wrong. Sigma looks genuinely frightened that it may be real this time.

“No… It’s really a cute nickname that the ghost calls you by because they didn’t know your name when they first started following you around.”

“Stalking.”

“No.”

“I wanna know it! Tell us, dove!” Was it a nickname he could use himself? Or were you lying about it being a cute one and instead it’s weird? He doesn’t know which option he would like more. If he was being honest, Nikolai was feeling like you were telling the truth and not lying again like the last time.

“Cotton.”

“Cotton? Where did that come from?”

“That’s adorable! Let’s call him that!”

“I think that’s a perfect idea, Niko!”

“No!”

Nikolai can already tell that he’s gonna have a lot of fun with that nickname in his vocabulary now.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ Taglist ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

@sukiischaotic

Marigolds - Often called “flowers of the dead”, are symbols of positive emotions, like joy and excitement. They also represent energy, good luck, warmth, creativity, prosperity, passion purity, divinity, and the connection between life and death. These flowers' fragrance is said to attract souls to the altar.

Cyclamen - symbolizes the eternal cycle of life, which makes it the perfect flower that means 'forever'. In Japan, cyclamen holds a special place as the holy flower of love, causing it to be a popular choice for Valentine's Day

Blackthorn - Fate, protection, hope against adversity, good fortune, strength, overcoming adversity, purification, and protection

Bluebell - Loyalty, constancy, humility, gratitude and everlasting love

Keep in mind that flower meanings may somewhat be different depending on what site you look at, so excuse me if anything in the meanings is wrong! (hopefully not)

[meanbossart]

Idk if you’ve answered a question like this previously, but I’ve always been fascinated by the dynamics between characters that are like, romantically involved and near-physically infallible, and have their identities tied into that. So this is to say— how is DU!drow and Astarions dynamic affected when one is hurt badly, like needing time to recover? Or just out-of-commission in some way? Are they patient with each other, or is this a sort of disaster scenario where they just have to wait for things to blow over in order to become normal again, since du!drow is so tied into his physical capabilities, and Astarion his appearance?

Idk if this question makes sense but basically: are they nice to each other if one isn’t at their best/not feeling great? Are they introspective enough to manage their (relative) mortality constructively or would this be very bad for them?

Hm, there's a lot of minutiae about this that I don't think I can satisfyingly cover. In summary - they realistically both know each other to not be infallible, and while depending on the circumstances some mild guilt-tripping could occur, they wouldn't put each other's lives at risk if a situation became life-threatening.

(Some post-scriptural editing here: keep in mind the context of these guy's lives. They are seedy adventurers and no strangers to risk, danger and combat - you can safely assume that none of what I'm about to say applies to the types of injuries they must sustain on a weekly basis due to their lifestyle. They are used to seeing each other get mildly hurt and not making a fuss about it.)

DU drow essentially already views Astarion as disabled and/or sick because of his vampirism. While he knows that he can handle himself in battle, the moment that something takes Astarion down his world stops and his only preoccupation proceeds to be ensuring his safety and health - he's much more likely to be a overbearing caretaker than a negligent one. Ironically, the fact that Astarion's vampirism gives him regenerative powers is a huge blessing here, otherwise this would probably be a much bigger issue between them than it currently is.

And yet, the negative consequences of his vampirism are what begin to jump out to him post-game. The blood-hunger, the aversion to running bodies of water, the constant concern and restrictions imposed by the day-cycle, etc. In his mind, these are things that make Astarion require a caretaker: himself.

Astarion functions the other way around. It would take a truly dramatic event or grand gesture out of DU drow for him to assume an injury or occurrence has disabled him in a significant way, physically or psychologically - which makes sense, because DU drow would have to be deeply shaken by something to actually allow others to see it. He has observed how DU drow's gall has gotten them through sticky situations again and again, and is definitely at fault for always assuming that he will ultimately be fine no matter what, and not taking some signs as seriously as he should. That said, if bad came to worse, Astarion would definitely be able to quickly change his tune and adapt into a caretaking role, he'd just have to be shocked into it first.

However, Astarion is also a lot more adept at dealing with DU drow's weird hangups. He's a lot more likely to express his concern with the "required" level of aloofness so DU drow's pride isn't hurt in the process.

Interestingly enough, when you stop to think about it these are narratives that they very much built for themselves, and will likely have to undo throughout the decades to come. Astarion carefully manicures a version of his victimization to earn your sympathy, manipulate you, and ultimately use your help to escape his enslavement - while he is much more than that, that is the base of what he was selling from the start and an impression that DU drow can't easily forget. Meanwhile, DU drow obviously wants to be seen as borderline indestructible and willfully dismisses - if not outright discourages or reprehends - any show of concern that might call that status into question. In other words: fools played themselves.

[yanderes-galore]

I saw your post about my request so I’m making a change to it. General headcanons for platonic yandere Mitsuri x adult reader.

sorry for breaking your rules, I did not know that you didn’t do child readers.

That's fine, I do generally suggest people read my rules before requesting but I appreciate that you edited your request ^^ Here's my thoughts.

Yandere! Platonic! Mitsuri Kanroji Concept

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Clingy behavior, Manipulation, Delusional behavior, Jealousy, Dubious companionship.

Mitsuri would be a very bubbly platonic yandere.

Maybe she sees you as a friend or maybe she acts as a mentor towards you.

Either way the Love Hashira is always excited about you.

Mitsuri is very passionate towards the ones she cares about.

When she sees you she showers you in compliments/praise and is often quite clingy.

When she first met you she was shy... but the more she knows about her obsession, the bolder she is with her affections.

For example, I feel Mitsuri's love language is definitely physical contact.

She's easily excited and caring, often pulling you into a hug to greet you.

If she is a mentor to you then she is very careful in her teachings.

She even praises you with adoration when you master a technique she's taught you.

Mitsuri is a subtle yandere, in the sense that it's hard to see anything malicious in her cheery behavior.

She just seems... clingy, right?

Not many expect her to be all that dark.

Usually such a side is only shown to demons who try to hurt you, her friend and student.

Seeing Mitsuri look oddly unamused or jealous towards others is nearly unheard of.

Which is why it scares others who do see such a side.

Mitsuri is normally so caring towards others.

So seeing her look so menacing towards others is... strange to say the least.

An evident red flag for sure.

Mitsuri also doesn't tend to show jealousy often... yet the Hashira always seems to be around you.

She takes on an overly protective role around you.

She often fusses over you, be it by praising or reprimanding you.

Mitsuri would never harm another person.

Even in her jealousy, she tries not to harm others.

Her delusional behavior actually helps her with this.

Mitsuri believes you love her as much as she does you (platonically, of course).

Regardless on if you do or not... Mitsuri will calm herself by reassuring herself that you love her if she's jealous.

She shouldn't care if you spend time with others...

In the end you'll come back to her... right?

She believes you will... she hasn't done anything wrong...!

Originally her clingy behavior doesn't even sound that bad.

But soon when Mitsuri's behavior starts to feel suffocating...

Well, naturally you'll want to be alone or with others!

Which sparks her jealous delusions.

While she'd never harm anyone... she has trouble keeping boundaries around you.

You can try tell her she's clingy or overly fussy with you... but while she feels bad at first, she continues what she's doing later.

She feels she has to protect you, teach you, love you...

However... since she's so caught up in that, she ends up forgetting to give you space.

Space you desperately need.

Mitsuri as a platonic yandere ends up coming off as an overly obsessive motherly figure or best friend.

She just wants to care for you and protect you from the dangers of the world...!

She has so much love for you... so much that it may suffocate you in the end... and no one will take you from her... she won't let them.

[porkcutletbowl44]

Simon Riley/Reader and Keegan/Reader

Hi. I have come out of a almost 6 year writing hiatus and decided to start posting works again. (Yippie😅) I woke up in cold sweat one day about this particular story line and just started writing it down until I gathered the courage to share it... This is a snippet from the 2nd chapter I have on AO3 (I have no clue how to use AO3 in terms of writing OR Tumblr for that fact pls help 😭) but, I'd like to hear some thoughts about how it is, (yay or nay?) aaaannnnddd first ever post on Tumblr whoop! (Apologies for spelling and grammar I still haven't completely edited the chapters fully)

After a few weeks, the divorce was finalized. And those weeks quickly grew into just shy of two months. you didn't even notice, you didn't have the time to even keep up with your own body living in the present. Your daughter didn't deserve to see her mother in shambles like this. Didn't deserve to watch her parents divorce simply because of the lack of communication you hammered into her little head from a young age to express when she was frustrated her sippy cup lid wasn't screwed on all the way and spilled a sticky mess of apple juice all over her chest. Communication, that's an important ingredient. Remember. Communication cannot exist without comprehension. You can bring the horse to water but you cannot force it to drink. You thought you had it all, a loving husband, a beautiful child, a safe home, it was temporary. Ripped from your fingers like a purse stolen by a thief. You will only helplessly watch as your things are being taken from you. 

You will continue to claw at your chest and whimper like a wounded animal.

It does not get easier, even right now when it's time for Simon to take Fawn for the weekend again. You can bear the awkward tension, that silence that makes your throat close up and forces your voice to a weak frail squeak. You kept your attention somewhat busy with your work laptop, there are only four emails and you take the time to thoroughly read them, typing calmly to avoid confrontation. 

He stood in the kitchen quietly, watching your back. He had a strange lump forming in his throat, his expression hardening as he pushed down all of his emotions, trying not to focus on the guilt and hurt churning inside his chest.

You signed the papers, just like he asked you to.

Simon forced himself to speak, clearing his throat loudly, "Shouldn't you be packing Fawn's stuff?"

"Fawn insisted on packing herself," you gave a half-shrug, "I said why not? It's good for her to learn it and have the harmless joy."

He couldn't help but give a rough scoff at that. You would spoil her too easily. Simon took a few steps, setting his hands down on the kitchen counter, his gaze fixed on your form.

"She'll end up forgetting somethin'. I better go help 'er." He spoke casually, intending to go to check on Fawn and help her pack But something made him hesitate, his gaze snapping back on you. It only made his chest and lungs squeeze tighter as he looked at your closed-off demeanor. His eyes zeroed in on your fingers typing lazily, a strange suffocating feeling overcame him as he tried to figure out how he should address the lack of the wedding band on your finger.

Should he pretend like everything is fine? Would you want to talk?

There was an unnatural suffocating silence that felt like an elephant in the room, a strange tension between the two of you that only made him want to hold his breath. The air was so thick and tense- so unlike the normal energy in the kitchen that was once filled with the smell of your delicious cooking and the squealing laughter of Fawn whenever Simon would occasionally rough house with you while the both of you shared the foot space to cook. 

"...You took your ring off," Simon observed in a quiet, defeated tone.

what did he expect?

you stop your typing, your fingers ghosting over typing basic Python codes to your coworker, and you look down on instinct before clearing your throat. Your finger is empty. You will not admit that you took it off once you heard the news.

"Yeah, I did. It's next to the coffee maker if you want it back—oh, congratulations on your engagement." You hesitated before even saying those words. You never thought you would have to say to Simon. Your throat was dry, and your tongue burned at each syllable. 

His heart dropped the instant your words registered in his head, his expression darkening even more than before as a harsh scoff escaped him, his hands clenching tightly into fists as he tried to ignore the sharp pain in his chest.

"What…" His jaw hardened, and a look of disbelief crossed his features, "Who the hell told you that?"

"Johnny already told me," You replied, twisting on the stool to look at him, still in your work blouse and office pants. 

"Of course he did.." He muttered beneath his breath, shaking his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Bloody Soap.."

Simon took a deep breath and turned to look at you, his expression cold and hard, his gaze dark and icy. The mention of his engagement only made his fingers clench on the counter, and his gaze darkened as he heard your cold, dry tone. His eyes shifted towards the band next to the coffee maker, his mouth twisting into a frown at the lone ring he bought you all those years ago. 

That ring had been on your finger for 7 years.

Now it lay lifeless on the counter.

How the tables have turned.

"...thanks." He muttered out quietly, before looking back down at the floor. 

"yeah well, I would have found out even if Johnny didn't tell me. I would have seen the ring on you either way." You crossed your arms loosely with a small frown. You also won't mention you saw his fiancée's post about it.

He has an unreadable expression on his face as his shoulders straightened. "It would've been a hell of a lot more polite if I was the one who told you." He muttered lowly, his jaw clenching as he tried to keep his emotions in check. But the sight of you without the ring on your finger was eating away at him, like acid seeping into his skin. The mother of his child, divorced.

"You wouldn't tell me, I think that's why Johnny mentioned it...Fawn don't forget your toothbrush!" You called out, hearing her near the kitchen before bolting back down the hallway into the bathroom. You silently thank the universe for that interference. 

A humorless scoff escaped him, shaking his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Johnny knew you, he knew that you were the type to get pissed off at secrets and such. So he told you, thinking it would be easier to swallow for you. 'It's not.; Simon muttered in his head, gritting his teeth tightly as he tried to hold back his emotions.

"for the best, right?" You mumbled under your breath, looking up at him.

He could feel the pain and hurt in your gaze as you looked up at him, making his heart clench painfully the longer he looked at you.

Of course it's not for the best.

He wanted more than anything to pull you into his arms, to kiss you, tell you how he regrets ever saying something so stupid, how he wanted to take everything back.

But he didn't.

He couldn't. So all he said was a cold: "You tell me."

You didn't reply, just humming quietly in acknowledgment before Fawn's happy self came into the kitchen practically bouncing with excitement to spend time with her dad. Simon watched quietly as Fawn barreled into the room with her bag in one hand, her excitement radiating.

He tried not to let his emotions show on his face, masking it with a neutral expression as he looked over at his daughter. It was impossible to tell her parents were going through a divorce. She was still young of course, so it wasn't that surprising.

Simon just couldn't help but envy her innocence.

A bitter thought in his head made him hate himself even more.

He couldn't help but try to hold that small smile that formed at his eyes as he saw her excitement, "You 'ave everythin' you need?" The question was mainly directed at you, since you were the one that knew what she needed.

You beckoned Fawn over, kneeling before her. You softly grabbed her shoulders with an assuring smile. 

"Hairbrush? Socks and shoes? Jacket? And toothbrush?"

He hovered in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched you check over Fawn, watching how gentle you were with her. Simon scoffed at this, shaking his head. "She's a mini version of you."

A pang of longing hit him, watching how you cared for her, his heart feeling heavy.

"Check, got all that," Fawn confirmed, nodding her head excitedly as her bright eyes lit up.

"Good, you did a good job packing all by yourself." You forced a smile Fawn would believe, smoothing her hair back. You were proud of her after all, doing big girl things all by herself. 

A wave of dread washed over him, he couldn't fucking stand this; that he was the reason. "Monster." something meanly cackled in the back of his head. He felt like a bastard for even having you sign those papers without fighting for it, watching everything he once had slip out of his fingers.

Watching how you forced a smile instead of truly showing it to your own fucking daughter.

God, he was a jackass.

"Remember your manners, be good, and you can call me for anything at all, okay? Anything you need, hun." You murmured, giving her little cheek a kiss.

He watched the two of you interact, his chest feeling heavy and tight. Fawn nodded her head quickly with a bright smile, giving you a big hug before waving a little.

"Bye, momma." She said cutely before rushing over to her father and grabbing his hand, waving her free one out.

His expression hardened, his gaze snapping on you as you looked away, keeping up the happy mom façade for the sake of Fawn.

He hated seeing you like this, forced to pretend like everything was okay when it was far from that. How was it fair for you to be forced to pretend to be happy? It didn't sit right with him, it just didn't feel fair. He held his eyes on you a moment longer before looking down to hold Fawn's hand in his. 

"C'mon now, let's get goin'." He murmured gruffly, trying to muster a small smile for his daughter.

The walk to the car was silent, Fawn skipping her way to the car, Simon walking beside with her little handheld in his, his expression unreadable and cold. He stopped by the backseat of the car, opening the door to let Fawn in as he looked to the passenger seat. Where you would sit. Where you will probably never sit again.

His mind warred with it, a scowl crossing his face. He wanted you in the passenger seat, just like you used to always sit in. He wanted the same routine every time he picked up Fawn from school.

But he couldn't have that.

Simon gritted his teeth, shoving those thoughts aside as he forced his expression back to a stoic one, watching as Fawn climbed into the backseat and buckled herself in. He slowly shut the door with a quiet click, looking to the front and climbed into the driver's seat. The car started, and Fawn waved happily behind the window as they drove off. Mentally, you cuss Simon out to drive safely for Fawn before turning back inside. 

[caramelcoffeeaddict]

why do I keep getting surprised when I learn that people don't know about the "Share" button on the top of AO3 fics that will create a tumblr post (or a tweet) with all of the relevant information about the fic (ship, characters, rating, tags, word count, summary, etc) and add a link all neatly formatted for you?*

*the Share button is at the top of every fic unless the author has selected the "Hide the share buttons on my work." option enabled in their privacy setting, so you can use to promote your own writing, or even recommend a fic to your followers.

I mean, look how easy this is:

step 1: find a story you want to share and click the "Share" button at the top:

clicking that button will create a pop-up that looks like this:

step 2: you can ignore the html in the text box; you don't need it for this. instead, click the "Tumblr" button, and (if you are logged in to your tumblr account) it will create a tumblr post that looks like this: (*this auto-generated post will automatically use tumblr's default color palette for the preview regardless of what you have your preferences set to*)

step 3: if you like the way the post looks, just click "Post". (*if you have more than one blog, make sure to double check that you are posting to the correct blog before you post it!*) or if you want, you can add an author's note to the post, maybe add a photo or a teaser of the story, or make other edits to it before clicking the "Post" button. the choice is yours.

it's so simple, and only takes a few seconds to do. it's literally just three button clicks: "Share" -> "Tumblr" -> "Post". you don't have to worry about forgetting to add important info about a story in your tumblr post; or rack your brain trying to figure out which information you should include; or even figure out how to format the post to make it look neat and easy to read.

one thing to note: if you (or the author you are recommending) have your fics locked for AO3 users only, the link at the top of the tumblr post will look like this instead:

other than that, the rest of the post will look the same as above with all of the relevant story information, minus the fic title and author name which are normally displayed in the link preview. you can manually add that missing information to the post yourself before sharing, so your followers will know what story they are clicking on.

[mrfellsans]

☆Welcome to this goofy ahh blog☆

Here is some info bout this blog :3

Welcome to..

MRFELL SANS NUMERO DOS!

ALSO HERE IS MY STRAW PAGE!!

Anywho old stuff:

And here is the thing for ask!

You may ask anything. As long as it doesn't include weird things like nsfw for example, trying to keep things sfw course.

In this ask you may ask:

MrFell sans

MrPapyrus

MrGaster

MxChara

MsUndyne

Etc..

(Other undertale characters of you want.)

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

Pizza tower ask!

CC Peppino

TH peppino

PB peppino and friends

(And overall anybody relating to the tablewarehighrise series)

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Smg8 au ask!

Smg8 and any other character lol

No anon hate, no hate overall, don't be mean to others.. Basic dni, no racist, transphohia, paedophilia, homophobia and overall just nothing in the lines of those. If you don't like my content don't waste your time hating, just scroll.

THIS ACCOUNT IS (13-16+)

Also the creator of this blog is a minor pls be aware of that plus the creator is transmasc, pls use he/him pronouns :3

Anywho- there might be a lot of cursing cuz I'm an idiot and if I ever touch up on dark topics I will be putting warnings

I don't post NSFW this is a full SFW account, I'm just a silly guy that's gonna post some art lol maybe some like mildly suggestive? I don't rlly post stuff like that often but really nothing too bad!!!

I hope we can rebuild my account back, I had a great time with you guys on my other account so.. I hope I can have as much fun here as I had there. I love you guys. And if you could help spread this so people could bee aware that would help me a lot <3

Edit: (Thank you guys am for 200+ followers I love you all sm❤❤)

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°••°°••°•°•°•°•°

People that my forgetful brain can remember to tag: @yago-undertale @godofautism @pinecone-anon @petal-anon-draws @ink-the-axolotl-rabbit @cutechan555 @the-little-knight @r3set-does-aus @clethythecat @fluffygiraffe @moonflower-pies @excited-anon-acount @ask-crow-aus @freshsans-canonbf uhhh remind me of more

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Other socials that I don't use as much

Twitter: @/ThatIdiot_rat or The rat🐀

Tiktok: @/mr.scribbleman or 👹I'm coming for your toes👹 (don't ask)

≫≪≫≪≫≪≫≪≫≪≫≪≫≪≫≪≫

Instagram: imthebiggestlosernow/✩Mr.Sillybilly✩

YouTube:

Art trades: Currently closed (pls don't push me into doing one)

Commissions: would do that but have absolutely no idea how to work it

Art requests: It takes a while for me to do art for stuff in my inbox sry-

My normal Sona and smg4 sona

[perplexingluciddreams]

An average day in my life

I want to make a post about an average day in my life, with higher support needs nonverbal autism (with continued late regression), severe ME/CFS, low mobility, hypotonia, and other health things. I need a lot of help with most things, and due to my conditions my everyday life probably looks quite different than many people's.

I tried to write this several times. I started with AAC, but I couldn’t see what I just wrote, so I got lost and jumped about too much. This time I made myself some questions to answer, so I can still use AAC to help with the words, but not get so mixed up. Some of this is written with AAC, some is typed.

Where do I spend most of my time? How do I spend most of my time?

I spend the large majority of my time in my bedroom, and the most of that time is spent in bed.

In bed, the things I do is: watch DVDs or other things on laptop, edit AAC, practice/write with AAC, play games on phone, listen to music.

When I am not in bed, I am listening to loud music in my swing! Best way of regulation for me, keeps me calm.

What does my bedroom look like, how do I have things set up?

I sit up in bed with a big wedge pillow and two normal pillows behind me. I usually have my laptop, iPad, AAC device, DVDs and DVD player, and fidget toys (dummy, chewy, tangle) on the bed with me. I also have an overbed table which always has my glasses and case and juice bottle on it. I change around what is on the table depending on what I am doing at that time.

My LED lights in bedroom is usually on orange or yellow colour, with lights fairly dim. The curtains and blackout blind is always closed.

I have a fan and book light always next to my bed. I have a weighted blanket as my duvet, with five other varying types of blankets on top of it.

What are the other activities I do?

I have some other activities I occasionally do with help and prompts. Sometimes I go downstairs (with stairlift) to watch TV and/or do walking (physiotherapy, walking back and forth with or without AFO braces). I also do walking upstairs, because getting downstairs is a real challenge.

I rarely remember that I have options other than the things I see in front of me, so my parents have to give me choices.

Occasionally Mum ask me if I want to play cards, or do something else not normally do. It depends on how I feel and how loud my brain is, but sometimes I say yes.

What are the few things I can do independently on a daily basis?

I can put shoes and socks on, and take off, by myself! Only with same pair of stretchy shoes, just pull on. I do this several times a day because I wear shoes in swing, but not in bed. So it is a strong motor path.

I can change my hoodie/take it on and off by myself.

I can go between my bed and swing by myself, no prompt. I can walk to go to the toilet and change nappy (diaper) by myself.

I can brush my teeth as long as my toothbrush and toothpaste is brought to me. Sometimes I also need a reminder, or I forget. I am more likely to forget in the evening. I remember better in the morning because I don’t like the taste of my own mouth.

I can drink from my juice bottle and feed myself.

I can put DVDs in and out of DVD player and plug it into laptop. I can choose what I want to watch on a few streaming services. I can navigate a few social media apps, and can even post/message on a couple.

I can use the two different remotes to control my LED lights and sensory light projector.

What is my main struggles and difficulties in an average day?

I can't do much without prompts so these two things (bed and swing) is basically all I can do on my own (I can also go to the toilet without a prompt most of the time, but sometimes I get stuck). I struggle to initiate tasks and transition between tasks. I also can only make my body go on strong motor paths (movement sequences that I do over and over that is strong in my muscle memory), and there is only space in my brain capacity for a small amount of these motor paths at a time. Learning a new motor path and making it strong can make me lose a previous motor path (usually whichever is weakest at that time). This is very limiting.

Even with the pillows I have, it is not enough support. My body is too weak and floppy. My posture is bad and I slide/slump down so I am closer to a lying down position than sitting. I am always in a lot of pain, so I shift around a lot trying to get comfy, but it is never quite right. This is even more for when I sit in swing (or anywhere else), there is next-to-none support there.

If I could, I would be in my swing all the time! But unfortunately I have very low energy due to ME/CFS so a lot of rest is necessary. I find this hard because I need to stim and regulate constantly.

It is necessary that I spend much time alone in my room. If I didn’t, the smallest things would send me into immediate shutdown or meltdown. I can’t be around people much at all, even voices noises is too much. Usually I am only around people for the time when they help me with something, or bring me something.

When I do be around people, even with AAC it is very very difficult for me to communicate - I can do a handful of simple signs but anything more complex is so hard to get out that it usually has to happen when I am on my own in my room (like when I write a post like this). I am sad that I can’t have important or deep conversations with a person in the same room. Most of the important things I communicate to Mum is through Tumblr or WhatsApp.

I am oversensitive to so many things because of sensory issues. I am always dysregulated and I spend so much time trying to keep myself calm with swinging, with out making my health worse.

Often I am much too tired and sore to go downstairs so I am stuck in my bedroom most of the time.

I don't feel many body signals, like my bladder. When I don’t feel the signals at all (or not until too late), combined with getting stuck and not able to initiate go to toilet fast enough, I have accidents. This used to be something I could just about keep on top of, but with regression I no longer can manage it, so I have to wear nappies (diapers). This also adds another task (change nappy) that I have to use my limited brain capacity to learn and hold onto.

I am so fatigued and in pain from doing small things, and my body response to fatigue is often a big trigger for many sensory issues. This often becomes a downward spiral of fatigue response -> sensory bad -> big stim to calm down -> stim makes fatigue worse -> more body fatigue response, etc.

What is my morning routine like?

The first thing that happens in the morning (approximately 9am) is Mum or Dad comes to my bedroom with breakfast and medication. They help prop me up in bed with a big wedge pillow, and two normal pillow behind me. They give me my headphones (I wear almost all day, every day) and help put all my things around me on the bed. They also give me my toothbrush and toothpaste. In the mornings I can’t communicate much at all (only occasionally a few signs), can’t look at another person or do anything that would overwhelm me even a wee bit. It would cause immediate shutdown or meltdown. Shutdown is more likely for the morning time.

What is my mealtime routine like?

Mum or Dad (or very occasionally sister) brings me my food, and if it is a messy food then I put a tea towel over my chest so I don’t get covered in food. I eat while watching something usually, because I need the distraction to not get so stuck. Every time I get new meal or snack brought upstairs to me, I get a fresh bottle of juice also. The bottle is approximately 450ml, and I have 3 meals plus 2 snacks each day. I also get a bottle of water (not juice) brought up with evening meds, so I don’t get sugar on my teeth after I brush them.

I eat the same snacks at the same times every day. I have the same exact breakfast every day, and it has barely changed since I was quite young. I have two lunches, it is the same except for sandwich filling - I eat one for weekdays, one for weekends. Dinner varies, but there is still a predictable amount of choices, and often I eat the same dinner for the same day of the week. Mum sometimes tells me what is for dinner, if it will be different than the usual dinner for that day of the week, or if I ask. But I usually forget by dinner time anyway! 🤷🏻‍♂️

What is my bath time routine like?

With bath, Mum always helps. I need a lot of prompts. I get confused and lost with all the steps. But I have gotten better with practice, and each step have a stronger motor path now. I need Mum to tell me what part comes next.

I use a bath lift to get in and out of the bath.

I can do the physical washing part mostly on my own, sometimes I ask for help with my back. Mum gives verbal prompts and puts the right soap/shampoo in my hand or on washcloth.

Sometimes even with prompts, my brain confuses the steps or the motor paths, and my body does the wrong thing. This happens more recently, because when there is a complex sequence of separate (at least it is stored separately in my brain) motor paths, I can go into “loops” of do same thing over and over. Or my wires get crossed and I simply do the wrong movements.

I can also mostly dry myself (I sit on toilet seat to do it), but Mum always does my back. I can’t dress myself, so once I put on nappy by myself, Mum puts my top on. Then I walk to bedroom and Mum puts my trousers on while I sit on the edge of my bed (it is a better height that sitting on the toilet seat). Then Mum opens deodorant and clicks it up, I put it on myself.

What is my evening/bedtime routine like?

I have poor sleep, usually, and a really weird sleep schedule! My parents go to bed at approximately 10pm (sometimes Mum a bit earlier), and Dad always comes in to tell me goodnight. But I am awake much much after that (usually between 1-3am is when I finally go to bed for sleep). Sometimes I still swing when my parents is in bed, but I try not to swing too late because it can click and make noises.

I stay up and watch things, or play games on phone and listen to music. I often get stuck and cannot transition to go to bed, so I force myself awake for long after I could probably already go to bed.

When I finally manage to force myself to do the bedtime routine (or when my body is so tired it force me), I have to move all the things off the bed (some go on overbed table, some go to charge on the other side of the room). I also then change hoodie from day hoodie to sleep hoodie. I also move big wedge cushion and extra pillow down onto the floor. And put special cushion under my sleep pillow so it is at the perfect angle. Then, finally, I can lie down.

Sometimes I still go on my phone after that, usually to read fanfiction, if I can’t relax enough yet. I also rock back and forth on my side to soothe myself, I have done it since I was very young. I have to put my fan on to sleep, the noise and the feeling on my face is necessary to fall asleep, and it helps keep my temperature okay.

Then, the cycle of morning starts all over again!

[stranger-opinions]

maybe it's not a writers-block; maybe you just need a break

creativity is a muscle, right?

you need to exercise it to keep it in good shape, to have it ready when you need it and don't we all love those hyperfocused sprints of writing where the words just spill out of our fingertips...

but muscles get sore when you overuse them, will strain when you force them past their limits, they need nourishment to stay healthy and in shape

fandom today has a competitive atmosphere. many wouldn't admit that; it's supposed to be fun after all. just vibing with our mutuals, playing with the blorbos having a fun time online to scratch a few itches.

but the truth is that it can become a lot of pressure rather fast.

putting out several k of (edited) writing a month, setting up painstakingly formatted posts with the right tags and a fun header we spent hours on to look effortlessly cool and eye-catching just to hit post and then feel... nervous. excited too, sure...

but damn, when will the next chapter be finished? or the next one shot? will there be enough time to put a few blubs in between so that the few people who actually seem to care won't forget about us and move on?

writing for writing's sake is a nice notion. the myth of the self-sustaining artist who needs nothing more than a passion and their tools of choice.

but shit isn't just created out of nothing.

what has that all to do with the title of this post do you ask?

very few people can just keep going and going making art like that without needing any breaks and a good portion of those people very likely have very different conditions than most of us have with full-time jobs, families, school and so on.

For many of us writing is a main outlet, an important hobby and a safe space but that still doesn't change that it is a creative hobby, an outlet that demands energy: emotional, mental and physical (typing for hours is hard work if you want to believe it or not) and that sometimes makes it impossible to accept that we just need a fucking break.

"writers-block", in my own experience, is my brain telling me that something is off and that it's on strike until I fucking fix that.

and sometimes it's just that I need a break.

that I need to recharge my creative batteries, take in things that inspire me, that make me happy and get me excited without having to make anything myself. to just be. take some walks amongst trees, watch a new series, read a new book, go into a deep dive of some random topic on wikipedia until I don't know where the fuck I started from.

sometimes I just need to log out, cut the overstimulation of a never ending dashboard, turn off what everybody else on tumblr is doing, how much everbody is putting out, get away from my frustration about "my flopped fic" or the latest fandom drama and reconnect with the real reason I am doing this.

the love for stories and the source material.

for some people those breaks can be as short as two days, for other is might be weeks or months and that is not only okay but totally normal.

sometimes you might realize that the reason you are not writing is that you actually don't want to. sometimes you just want to daydream without the extra work sometimes you're just not in a writing mood and it's not much deeper than that.

that doesn't have to mean you're done with your blorbos. it just means that there are more valid and fun ways to play with them.

don't worry, the fandom will still be there when you decide to pick up the keyboard again. maybe with less people, maybe with many different people but you will always find someone who cares. those who have moved on to different things not come back wouldn't likely have stayed if you had powered through.

fandom shouldn't be a you're in or you're out thing but a place you come to when you want to.

contentification of fandom has had a lot of negative effects on the way we create and so many people fade from their hobby because they simply burn themselves out to a point where it leaves a scar.

so. find something that makes you happy that does not require you to invest too much creational energy. rest those muscles as long as it takes.

nothing you can get on tumblr or ao3 is worth the sore brain, the frustration with yourself and the stress you add onto your mental health ontop of everything else in your life.

recharge, reevaluate, reconnect

have fun

[bitter-panacea]

About Goultard's Dissociative Identity Disorder

This post is a collection of thoughts, analysis, wild extrapolating, reading too much into small details, and pure speculation. Please forgive how messy this is, this whole post might be uncomprehensible.

Some things Goultard says about the system

- he created it to make immortality bearable

I truly dont believe he means he consciously created his alters. He can hardly control them. They were a creation of his mind as a means of coping with / surviving the various traumas he faced throughout his life.

- it's a curse given by his father

Either the "curse" he speaks of is immortality itself, or he holds his father and god responsible for what he's had to go through (without him ever protecting or saving him)

The Alters

Goultard : Apparently Normal Part, Host. He's aware of the system. But sometimes partially forgets about it and how it functions.

I assume he has pretty unreliable memory. Sometimes forgets where he is, how he got there, what he was supposed to do, he can forget about things that happened or that he did etc...

Classic dissociation + can enter a kind of hibernation/complete dormancy and sleep for weeks, months, years, when needed or out of boredom.

Vlad : Emotional Part. Formerly unaware of the system, now aware of it (or at least aware of goultard being the host) embodies anger, exteriorizes unresolved rage and resentment by violently lashing out until the body has calmed down.

Somewhat naturally takes a protective role without really meaning to, taking control when certain emotions become too much to bear for the host, redirecting the violence outward instead of inwards.

First fronting triggered by Algathe's death.

Vald : Between Fragment and Apparently Normal Part. Not aware of the system. Too little experience and time fronting to pass as a fully formed individual (but people usually assume he's just stupid). In a way, his role IS to be too stupid to feel sadness, or anything much. But could develop into a real ANP if given the chance.

Born out of a desire for numbness. Possibly related to missing the crimson dofus after it was taken away from the system?? The whole system seems very attached to the crimson dofus, yearning for its warmth, letting its power consume them from the inside out.

How they form

Vlad and Vald didnt suddenly appear because of a single event each triggering them into existence. Rather they formed slowly and over extended periods of time from more or less specific needs, locked away in the confines of the mind before being awakened and forced to front by a triggering event causing a switch.

The underlying cause of the disorder being the hundreds of years spent inhabitated by a symbiotic shushu, manipulating his emotions and sense of self, slowly fracturing it over time.

Other Alters ?

There could potentially be more alters staying in hiding, unbeknownst to Goultard (and the rest of the system)

The differences between the way goultard acts in dofus and in wakfu, specifically emotionally, could imply a split happened between dofus and wakfu. A new identity that hasnt fronted yet would have taken these aspects that the host no longer has.

Most probably caused by losing arty, goultard's love for him was what freed him from the demon after all.

Goultard now hides in order to cry, when he used to feel no shame crying nuzzled in Arty's arms.

This would have been exacerbated by Goultard being put into a role of mentor and caregiver to Tristepin, worsening his emotional repression (that a new emotional part could have formed to embody instead).

Tristepin being the reincarnation of his father, whom he has conflicted feelings about, and having his children brutally murdered in the past, explain why he'd want/need to keep him at a distance, wanting him to not think of him as family, only as his mentor/master.

Edit : I forgot to mention his habit of self-isolation, just imagine I did

[trutrustories]

STUDY IN LOKI ROMANCE

Part 3: 1893

Since we're only a few days away from the last episode, I decided to COUNT DOWN everything we´ve got so far ( that can be interpreted very easily as romantic ) and discuss what the actual fuck is going on with second season. Because even though I shipped lokius practically from S1E2, I absolutely did NOT expect this kind of development. (Not that I´m complaining)

Warning: This is gonna be LONG post, lots of screenshots, lots of SPOILERS, lot of "oh-my-god-they-so-cute" language, and little bit of meta.

I originally thought that this post would be everything at once, but since I have just too many screenshots this time around, I´ll have to split it. so every post will be one episode. Color coding means:

IIIIIIIIII = anything, that coud potentialy be just acting choice.

IIIIIIIIII = everything else (tzn.: whatever was written, and/or carefully prepared by filmmakers. )

side note: I already wrote, about how amazing it is, that Mobius is unable to fight but fights anyway and how beautifuly, and ridiculously brave he is HERE. But this is about Loki/Mobius interactions, so I´ll try my best not to talk about THAT. (Even when I´m really happy, that s2 continues with this formula and Mobius is still his completely defenseless while aggressively brave self. I love him, btw.)

EPISODE 1 HERE EPISODE 2 HERE

Episode 3, here we go:

22) matching suits part 2 anyone, who work on those costumes: I want to kiss you all!

23) Another exhibition of touches:

the challange name is: "how close we can get, before we sink into each other"

24) "And they lived happily ever after..." They had some lokius fan in the editing room, I´m telling ya! This retro movie style transition... THAT is my roman empire...

like seriously? what is the purpose of this? I can´t wrap my head around it. someone just thought that it is really crucial to end this scene with two of them in a circle. OK.

but WHY?

It was LITTERALY used only once! (I´m sorry, but as someone, who works as an editor, this just driving me crazy 🤒🫠)

25) Loki and Mobius enjoying popcorn:

I have several things to say here:

ever heard about when one person is "forced" to have fun for the first time, and to try new things by the other person, and he´s protesting and is all about work and serious matters, but secretly loves it and is visibly relaxed and happy? - Because I´m sure this is some bloody romantic comedy trope, that everyone have seen about hundred times!

"Oh look, you have a piece of food on the chin, let me just…"

I know I already said this somewhere, but, this is the moment, where in my language suddenly (completely randomly) switched from formal way of speaking to each other to intimate way of speaking to each other. (I´m Czech, btw, and I have no idea, what happened in that recording studio but it had to be interesting)

26) Also... Bickering like married couple (part 3)

27) "You know sometimes I forget, that you are one of them... Blows my mind!"

Mobius being Loki´s fan.

Also yeas. Loki is one of them. God. And Mobius is a small, normal dude. JUST A HUMAN. Analyst, even! And they´re eating popcorn together.... also Loki will do whatever Mobius wishes

28) another "let´s be as close as we physically can" challange

Loki can´t keep only eye on him. he needs hands, because reasons

29) Mobius supporting Loki in using magic...

... or I should say Loki using Magic, whenever Mobius wishes, because...

"Will you handle this please?" "Gently!"

And on top of that... not him, explaining, what just happened, to the public, by: "The amazing Loki, everyone! He´ll be here all week! 🥳🥳🥳"

who the heck asked, Mobius? stop showing off with your magical boyfriend

30) Victor/Ravonna - the most transparent mirror ever:

THIS scene? Are you kidding? Ravonna running towards Victor: "Mr Timley! are you okay? And Mobius running practicly at the same time towards Loki with: You allright?" and both helping their man up on their feet?! IN SYNC! this is too much.

WTF

31) THE BIKE THIS. this is the most GREENLY green point, I can think of. Someone had to have this vision. This idea. And put it in to screenplay. Someone had to find the bike. Someone was shooting this. Camera is moving around them. And they were all like GREAT idea, let´s have them riding tandem bike while chasing Ravonna and Timely, that makes complete sense! (even when we have Loki chasing Brad USING MAGIC one episode back) anyway... ever heard about "let´s do this crazy stupid thing - absolutely not - and then they do the thing" trope?

32) Loki going with Mobius, not even thinking about it anymore.

And to think, that I was expecting something like S01E03 (Lamentis episode)! Once again, I wasn´t prepared for amount of Lokius content I was actually served. What a surprise! 🤯

[aannonn]

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM

I LOVE THEM SM ADWSAJDSWADÇLK

My favorite AU.... Is finally back after years. I love them very much.🎔

Mokke for sure did such a emotional letter.. Or maybe Kou is too emotional; Or maybe both! Either way, I love how Kou-kun looks so amazed to the point of crying by the gift Mokke gave him. He's such a great father! ❤ He loves his child so much--

I love them.

Also- Mokke from this art gives me ":3" vibes lololol

Tsukasa looks so shocked. It's like- He's just- Feeling sooOOoo many emotions at once, and the only thing he can do now is ":O", while Nene is just ">:D"

I love them.

And, of course, can't forget Amane here! He looks so flustered.. He's amazed, confused, shocked-

Just like Kou, he's flustered, but just like Tsukasa, he's feeling so many emotions at once that he just can't help but keep reading the letter over and over again and just stay quiet because omg my child just gave me a gift ldkjawdlswada ok act normal. act normal. act normal. act- whatthefu stop getting flustered over a paper omllll bUT ITS NOT JUST A PAPER ITS A GIFT MADE BY MY CHILD MADE FOR MEeEeeeeEE hOW SHOULD I REACT??????????

And Mitsuba is just: ":>"

And, of course; I love them sm aAAAaaa

Welp! I think that's it..? xD

Cya u all in my next post! Goodbye ~ !

lil' edit; Oh, almost forgot- Happy Halloween! Even If I do not celebrate it, I still wish those who celebrate it a happy halloween. 🎔

[cjoat-boost]

March 4, 2024 Edit of this still relevant post from February 27, 2024

For those that view any of my online presences (including my blogs)…Um, this is something for you to know.

Please save this post so it doesn’t get buried by queue.

My& Current Health Situation

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I wish to communicate this to y’all now so that…I don’t end up worrying anyone when this happens. It may have been noticeable by some folks that I’m dragging, heavily. I’m not having a good time right now with my body. With this comes with an onion of issues detailing certain aspects of what I’m going through.

I know I have a lot of obligations. Not only as a creative and content creator; but as a friend, a mentor, Guardian or even older peer, and myself. I’ve neglected myself for too long. I have been noticing my vitality decrease; and my CFS and POTS flaring up further.

Social Justice is something I’m always perceiving and sensitive to; and as such, the strain I’ve noticed too late has been worsening. Includes many emotional meltdowns and outbursts from me that I can no longer control or hold back.

Trying to figure out how to exactly sort through the mass tangles of my traumatized emotional and mental state isn’t as simple as I hoped for me. While I’m creatively burned out, I am suffering Autistic burnout. A double whammy of all things.

I’m finding myself getting “stuck,” unable to physically move for hours at a time. I’d move upstairs to eat something but end up being there for what’s normally an half hour task…for nearly 2+ hours. Even so, trying to force movement to do tasks that is considered “everyone can do these” is mentally painful and physically locking. Even if I have to desperately use the bathroom when I’m about to fall asleep, my headmates (AKA alters) have to switch to co-front or “snatch me back” in order to get my body moving. That’s with the sudden rocket spike in heart rate and blood pressure, and loss of balance (at the very least).

I’m already struggling to cope with many things due to the fact that I haven’t been able to draw much at all; or create anything and write anything. Especially trying desperately to fulfill my word on things I had the energy to do, but no longer do. So much of my struggles I can’t properly transmute. It’s so upsetting.

Thus, there’s going to be a sudden and abrupt shift in posting or messaging. I don’t know when. But it is coming.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

(Especially since I’ve been feeling mania over the weekend. All weekend, Saturday and Sunday, I manic cleaned large portions of certain areas I occupy as well as my housemate. Today I’m feeling the aching in my joints badly, with my calves swearing hell at me. I’m wearing my wrist brace too, I just…I’m rambling.)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I wish for you to know what’s happening if you don’t see or hear from me, my headmates, or any of my online presences (as depicted here: https://cjoatbysamwise.com/cjoats-links ) No one is being forgotten. I’m not abandoning anyone. I’m not ghosting anyone. What I do know (still coming to terms with it ngl) is I need to stop, fully stop, and recover. It’s looking like my body is going to do that for me by force. It’s going to be abrupt and sudden to the inconvenience of many, including my housemate, unfortunately.

I don’t know how long this will last. But I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep “hustling” like this. Does this sound repetitive? I wanted to communicate before suddenly I’m unable.

Does this sound repetitive? I’ll end it here. I wanted to communicate before suddenly I’m unable.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I’ll end it here with how you can support me while I’m down, only able to and wish to (I’m aware financial situations are a big struggle at the moment, there is no pressure to.)

Provide support by these links:

Thank you for reading until the end; have an awesome week ahead. Please remember to hydrate and eat. 🫶🏽❤️‍🩹

[absolutebl]

2022 BL Wrap Up - All The Shows I Watched... rated

I’m not going to talk about everything BL that I watched in 2022, that would be the longest post ever. But still, this is a really long post. Sorry, not sorry. Everything I watched got a pithy little review. 

2022 BL - Watched & Rated

This includes any show that ended in 2022, including those that started in 2021. Alphabetical-ish order.

21 Days Theory (Thailand YT ) 6/10 

Tropes: high school, cheating, secret crush, high angst

Initially I REALLY loved this little show. It reminded me of Blueming + Make it Right (never forget I’m the world’s foremost Make It Right apologist, and the lead even looks a little like Fuse). Why did I like it? 1. GAY UNCLE character giving GREAT advice!. 2. Boys in blue shorts are back! 3. Seme is already pining, uke is tsundere but with reason and conflict is set up and executed well as a result. 4. lots of linguistic discussion and flirting (they made the linguistically fascinating couples post). Everything about this show is in my wheelhouse and this would have jumped high in my rating (even at this length) if they had bothered to finish it like the YA romance it clearly was. But the ending was disappointing. I’m not mad about it, but I’m not happy either.

WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED

The 8.2 Second Rule (Japan YouTube) 6/10

AKA 8.2 Byo no Hosoku

Tropes: secret admirer, food in love, soulmates

Very short BL about a schoolboy who makes magic candy for a series of handsome classmates, questing for a soulmate. Each ep is a new love interest and while the sweets help others, they keep failing to bring him love. Of course h's overlooking someone. The lead was very good and the theme, cooking, and eventually romance were charming, but it is a series of BL vignettes not really a cohesive story, no kisses or anything. Japan doesn’t give us sweet BL this short very often, so it was nice to see them try out the style.

WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED 

A Man Who Defies the World of BL 2 (Japan Viki) unrated

I consider this show a documockary, not really a BL. As with the first installment I loved it beyond reasons, I tagged the second season review onto the first. Review here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

About Youth (Taiwan GaGa) 8/10

It’s truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with classic YA low drama but high angst, I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. It featured Taiwan's modern take on AePete: popular but painfully lonely rich kid, Guang (complete with evil pressure-cooker tiger parents) meets and is basically adopted by poor nerdy (secret rockstar) Qizhang. HE EVEN HAS AE’S TOTE!!! Side dishes are Guang’s adorable bestie, Ray, and even more adorable (also a rockstar) Jian. Lots of BL tropes but also this is quite queer and very Taiwan with an earnestness depth I haven’t seen since My Ride an almost real world authenticity. Not that I normally like that in my BL, but I’ll forgive Taiwan (and the Philippines) for their sticky almost dirty style if it is this endearing and engaging (see also Gameboys). I wish it had been given a bit more room to breathe, but all in all a great edition to the Taiwanese BL lexicon which was in dire need of just this kind of content. Full review. 

RECOMMENDED 

Ai Long Nhai (Thailand iQIYI) 6/10

Tropes: messy gay, trial relationship, friends to lovers

Look this show was just a typical Thai BL university pulp about a confident gay and a clueless manic pixie dream boy, that had potential, chemistry, and earnestness going for it, but no plot and not enough side dishes. In the end it was boring and you know I always rate boring lower than hot messes. Still it’s better than your average Thai BL, nothing happens but at least the nothing mostly shirtless, the gay dads are the BEST, and that’s about all I can say for it.

WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED 

Bad Buddy (Thailand YouTube) 9/10

Tropes: secret lovers, Romeo & Romeo, sunshine/tsundere, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, GL side plot

GMMTV’s flagship BL started 2022 on a BANG (okay no actual banging but you know what I mean), starring heavy hitters Ohm & Nanon in a pitch perfect university Romeo & Juliet masterpiece that will give you domesticity meets pain whiplash throughout and jet lag at the end. Great production values, killer acting, and some conscious effort to correct for half a decade of Thai BL’s anti-queer mistakes. GMMTV, we forgive you. More. Live blog of this one is here. Full review here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Behind Cut (Korea, Jan Viki) 8/10

Tropes: grown up problems, finding your dreams, friends to lovers

Better than average chemistry (for KBL) and a unique setting almost pulled this show into the realm of something quite special but it never quite managed to get away from the pacing and story structure issues endemic to KBL’s limited time frame and scope. Still It gets the job done. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED

Big Dragon (Thailand Gaga) 7/10 

Tropes: player love-rivals/enemies to lovers, rich/poor

This is a decent execution of true enemies to lovers, these two spy on and bully each other, exploring darker themes. The way the leads transition between anger, resentment, titillation, and flirting (and the way, with kinksters, this can all be the same thing) is really well done. This BL pairing proved itself to be a lot more sophisticated than I expected with nods at kink in a more respectful way than Mame could ever dream, plus excellent chemistry, but something was askew around plot, directing, and ending. 

RECOMMENDED FOR THE LEAD PAIR, BUT NOT MUCH ELSE 

Blue of Winter AKA Judo Boys (Korea YouTube) 3/10

Tropes: Bad boy/good boy, mad crush, reunion romance

OMG, is that..? Did Korea give us… a pulp? I do believe they did! The sound quality was poor, lighting sub par, even the filming and staging wasn’t on point (for Korea). Sadly none of that was the problem, this could have actually been good, the cast was excellent, but instead it was just really... odd. Focused on the wrong couple in the triangle and spent too much time on some elements and not enough on... ya know PLOT. Not terrible but not good either. in the end I didn’t know what I watched and neither did it.

NOT RECOMMENDED

Bleuming (Korea iQIYI) 9/10

Tropes: enemies to lovers (sort of), coming of age, self worth and self acceptance, lonely prince, sunshine/tsundere

It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL. I wasn’t into it at first, but both leads turn in solid performances and by ep 5 it got good, becoming a narrative about self discovery, as well as understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately, we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection while that affection was never itself the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual, Blueming included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending (all rare for Korea) plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, (which is expected). Full review here.

ABSOLUTELY RECOMMENDED

Check Out (Thailand iQIYI) 4/10 

Tropes: office, second chance, high heat

Special episode 0 (prequel) filmed in 2021 was the only good thing about this show. Characters lacked motivation, there was no story, the leads were a fine pair but the sex scenes managed to be both good and boring. I nearly DNFed. Ugh. 

FATALLY FLAWED

Choco Milk Shake (Korea Strongberry YT) 8/10 

Tropes: reincarnation, fated mates, paranormal elements

Choco Milk Shake (Korea YouTube) Stongberry gave us a full length BL on YouTube! It’s a BL miracle and an endless delight. It was wonderfully cute, unexpectedly hilarious but expectedly silly, a little too poignant, occasionally gut wrenching and with a somewhat expected weird (but happy-ish) ending. The actors playing the two pets must have had the best time. As, indeed, did I watching it. Jealous Milk made me cackle so hard it scared the actual cat on my lap, Choco was perfectly cast, and the chemistry was ultimately decent. In Strongberry I still trust. Thank you thank you, may we have another, sirs?

RECOMMENDED 

Cherry Blossoms After Winter (Korea Viki) 9/10

Tropes: High school to college, cohabitation, stepbrothers, popular boy/nerd (shy, loner, bullied), orphan protag

Korea took on early Japanese sweet yaoi but gave it their signature softness and precise production style with a STUNNING color palette (beautiful pastels, sun-saturated over-exposure), manga framing style, some traditional BL character archetypes, that tiny edge of bullying roughness and out-of-control seme, plus FINALLY a palatable take on the stepbrothers trope and it was, in a word, classic. Sophisticated and understated CBAW is not slow, it’s just subtle. It's dream-like and atmospheric, as if the whole thing took place under cold water on a warm spring day. Is there plot or peril? Not really. Do we care? Also, not really. Look, I can’t help it, I’m old school and so is this show. I grew up reading sweet yaoi, and this was THAT YAOI just on my screen. There’s no objectivity with me and CBAW. It’s a beautiful pastiche and I loved it for how it made me feel and what it reminded me of. It’s not flawless, but it is a wonderful experience. Full review here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Cherry Magic the movie (Japan grey) 8/10 

AKA Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!: The Movie AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii 

Tropes: LTR, cohabitation, self acceptance, coming out

I liked it, not as much as the original, it lacked the humor. Again no kissing, these actors must be expensive, but some nice domesticity. Still with Thailand bringing the higher heat with such consummate casualness these days (licking ass and taking names) there really isn’t much of an excuse anymore for no kisses, it felt a little phoned in. Even Korea has buckled, come on Japan, grow up. 

RECOMMENDED 

Close Friend 2 (Thailand Viki) 6/10

Tropes: LTR, adult problems, the closet, coming out

It’s basically dealing with two kinds of closet: the one imposed on us, and the one we impose on ourselves. Honestly Pierce and Phoon are very mature characters for a BL couple - the kind of relationship that only OhmFluke could really portray, and they do it very well. That’s almost the problem - it is too well done and thus discomforting. if you don’t like realism in your BL avoid this show. I liked the celebrityhood vs fandom storyline, although I thought it was too generous to those fans. Both pairs did well but I wasn’t wowed by story or content, over all a bit dull.

WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED

Coffee Melody (Thailand Viki) 5/10 

Tropes: cafe setting, food is love, sing your feelings

Stars Pavel (my love) as a cafe owner (Forth in 2moons2) and Benz as a composer (Call it What You Want). This should have been my kind of BL - on the fluffy end of the spectrum plus honestly queer. Unfortunately, the slow pacing, manufactured angst, odd secondary story arcs, and a selfishly immature unlikeable wet dishcloth main character, Yi, meant its flaws outweighed its charm. Jean (flame on snark fairy) is MINE, I love him so much but in the end neither he nor Pavel in an apron could save it for me. It’s not bad. It’s not good either, tho. Ultimately so forgettable I’ve probably already forgotten it. 

JUST DULL

Color Rush 2 (Korea Viki) 7/10

Tropes: crush, friends to (almost) lovers, paranormal, suspense, murder investigation

In this second installment the plot revolves around Yeon Woo searching for his mother (and, sort of, his probe) joined by Se Hyun, whose sister is involved. We’re right back in gay allegory territory only this time the question is: Can you miss something you never had? Especially when it has to do with your own identity? Also, has Sehyun switched his (supposedly) natural inclination towards obsession onto Yeonwoo? I liked it. I liked Hyuk a lot more than I was expecting too. Like the prior installment, Color Rush 2 was stylish and clever (although not quite as clever). Honestly, in the end, I don’t know what to say about Color Rush 2. Does it work as the second installment of a trilogy? Absolutely. Does it work as the final installment of a duology. Absolutely NOT. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

Cupid’s Last Wish (Thailand YouTube) 6/10

Tropes: pining/tsundere, bodyswap, quest, road trip

Win is such an incredibly unlikeable character I really struggled with this show, no skin off Mix’s acting, but holy fucking irredeemable tsundere. Also I really do not like body-swap. The final ep tried (and for some it may have been successful) but combine this with bodyswap (my least favorite trope) and even EarthMix’s chemistry (which has improved since Thousand Stars) didn’t save it.

WORTH WATCHING FOR SOME, BUT FLAWED

Cutie Pie (Thailand YouTube) 8/10

Tropes: arranged marriage, age gap, secret identity, cohabitation, rich kid problems, he’s in engineering

Very high production and a lot of visual references to live action yaoi gave this show a whiff of Japan but ultimately it stayed firmly in Thailand’s BL camp veering from absurd to appealing to annoying and then back to absurd again. If you can roll with the arranged marriage conceit and very lifestyle D/s relationships, the chemistry is spot on even if the plot is naff and sappy and driven by miscommunication. Watch this one for the pretty, give it a pass on depth. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED

Dear Doctor, I'm Coming For Soul (Thailand YouTube) 7/10

Tropes: PNR, grim reaper, enemies to lovers

This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventually) lover. Basically it’s the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service. High concept looks good on you, Thailand. I enjoyed it more than it’s ending deserved, and the best I can say is that it’s not strictly HEA but if you’re okay with Life: Love on the Line, you’ll probubly be okay with this BL.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

DNA Says Love You (Taiwan GaGa) 8/10

Tropes: secret identity, reunion romance, queer family, bisexual awakening, sunshine/broken, healing, quest

While this is one of those series (ostensibly) carried by the sunshine seme character (Taiwan is always weak in seme/uke) and he does a stand-up job, Erek Lin, who plays the love interest, Amber, is luminous. I found the twist entirely predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show for me, in fact I think I sympathized more with Amber and understood his behavior better, because I knew. The exact way it’s handled (medically speaking) is a little disingenuous to a queer narrative (AKA they could have just GONE there) but I didn’t mind, because all the characters around Amber act with such integrity. Since this is a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled and made depressing, DNA deserves extra marks for its uniquely upbeat approach. It’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The last few eps really are special and life/love affirming - and the ending is big-grin charming. Full review here.

VERY MUCH RECOMMENDED

Gen Y 2 (Thailand grey) 5/10  

Tropes: this is an insane soap opera

Exactly as chaotically messy as expected, possibly worse, as the four main couples apparently each decided they were acting in a different kind of BL. While I do believe that the world demands the excess Star Hunter provides, it is utterly exhausting to watch. No full review because I live blogged this one here.

WATCH IT ONLY IF YOU NOTHING BETTER TO DO

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Thailand YouTube) 7/10 

Tropes: my ghost boyfriend, PNR, domesticity

This is a light horror plus family drama built around a well executed BL trough-line that felt honestly queer with fantastic chemistry from the lead pair. (I hope that we see more of them.) Pluem delivers the softest most seductive krap ever and watching them flirt over noodles is an unalloyed pleasure. Use of I/you pronouns is super interesting and cute. For me personally the surrounding cast, premise, and story didn’t resonate but if you like a touch of gothic in your BL this might appeal.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS 

The Eclipse (Thailand YouTube) 8/10 

Tropes: sinister boarding school, haze the one you love, suspense, high school setting, coming of age  

GMMTV does gay Blacklist with a good boy/bad boy pairing. Starred First & Khaotung plus the side dish pair from FUTS NeoLouis. This is a good show but the cast was excellent and the leads were absolutely flawless. They gave us a nuanced and multifaceted burgeoning relationship: philosophical (and socio-political) conflict contrasted to moments of empathy; flirtation contrasted to moments of genuine affection. This narrative is less about love than it is about courage and tenderness. However, near the end the pacing was off and the plot frustrating. Still, this is an enjoyable watch, with an ending that features verbal consent and a funny blooper reel. 

RECOMMENDED 

Enchanté (Thailand YouTube) 7/10

Tropes: childhood sweethearts, sunshine/tsundere, secret admirer with a touch of Cyrano de Bergerac and dose of Boys Over Flowers.

Theo returns from France and starts a written flirtation inside a library book (!) at his new uni with the mysterious Enchante. When he and his best friend Akk hunt for Enchante’s real identity, 4 senior boys step forward - all intersted in dating Theo, all with ulterior motives. Can’t fault the chemistry or the classic old school Thai uni BL and Akk (Force) was particularly sympathetic. But the twist over Enchantie’s identity felt disingenuous, manipulative, and unnecessary and the whole narrative was flawed as a result, Theo became unlikeable and irredeemable. GMMTV seems to specialize in squandering great chemistry on shoddy scripts. Honestly it probubly should get an 8/10 by my rating system but I was so disappointed I’m giving it a 7/10 and not bothering to write a full review. Live blog ep-by-ep recap here.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

Eternal Yesterday AKA Eien no Kino (Japan Gaga) 2/10

Tropes: my ghost boyfriend, paranormal, kill the gay, dark 

Smart boy in love with zombie incubus, keeps him alive with sex. This prevailing wistfulness between our leads about the future that they know they will never get to have. The way Michan is constantly listening and feeling for his Koichi’s heartbeat for a reassurance that is never going to come.Japan, king of thirst, gives us both that and PAIN: these 2 are drowning in yearning and loss. Careful with this one - you break it, you bought it, and it'll break you... wide open just to see what color your guts are. After watching, you too might be walking around alone, forgotten, and wondering why no one understands your loss. Not only does it not end happily, it ends hopelessly. 

NOT RECOMMENDED (for newer BL fans) 

Even Sun (Thailand iQIYI) 5/10

Tropes: vacation romance, enemies to lovers, sunshine/tsundere

The language is fun in this one (they also use chan/nai so I’m guessing it’s and organized crime thing), the cast is excellent, the boxers mildly interesting and BounPrem’s chemistry is unmatched, but... I still disliked it. It was unequivocally boring.

WATCH ONLY IF YOU’VE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

First Love Again (Korea Viki) 7/10

Tropes: fated mates, bodyswap

A popular novelist who remembers his past lives meets his soulmate who has been reincarnated in the body of a man. This one started out a touch mean spirited, but it pulled itself together and we even got a good kiss (for a KBL). Then they went from like to love to boyfriends in a red hot minute. The confession/rejection scene was justified and the reconciliation and ending was... fine. All in all the pacing felt rushed, and the romantic arc was underdeveloped, but that’s par for the course with Korea’s short form. If you don’t mind a heavy does of melodrama in your BL this one has a solid story with a strong concept that’s well acted and produced, making it a classic KBL with better than average chemistry but ultimately a touch forgettable. (Full review here.)

RECOMMENDED WITH A FEW RESERVATIONS

Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shikanai! (Japan Viki & GaGa) 8/10

AKA Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice but to Kiss! AKA Mr Unlucky Can Only kiss

Tropes: opposites attract, accidental relationship, cohabitation  

Mr Chronically Unlucky (another adorable chaos muffin) and Mr Always Lucky end up dating after they meet at uni orientation. It’s JAPAN yet they kissed in the first episode. What freaky alt-reality did I enter into? That’s all they kiss tho, over which I was a touch disappointed (I know). Still I spent far too much of my time with this show biting my knuckles and squealing “THEY’RE SO CUTE!” Amusing story: I paused mid the most tooth-achingly adorable first date in the entire universe and Viki was like “something missing?” and I was like “MY HEART YOU BASTARDS” It is very slapstick Japanese style comedic (light) BL reminds me a bit of Kieta Hatsukoi or Cherry Magic. So if you like that style of BL you’ll adore this show.

RECOMMENDED

Happy Ending Romance (Korea Gaga) 8/10

Tropes: office romance, identity theft, cohabitation 

As a BL it kinda isn’t (sorry to say). There’s no tropes dropped and no real romance narrative beats. This is about dishonesty and pride and there is an elegance to the theme. Which is essentially the idea that possession is not love, and therefore, those who love the Writer have to prove their love by letting him go. Honestly, I’m not sure how to rate this show as a result. This is a blog about BL and this wasn’t that. Full review. 

RECOMMENDED (but not if romance is what you’re primarily after) 

Hard Love Mission (Thailand WeTV) 3/10

Tropes: office romance, spoiled celebrity, 

Phenomenally dull Thai pulp about a journalist sent to interview a celebrity who ends up his manager, only 4 episodes and it still could’ve been shorter. It’s a bummer, the concept wasn’t bad. ALSO Chinese censorship got its gross mitts all over it (thank you, Tencent). Do not waste your time.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I’M WATCHING AND NEITHER DOES IT 

In Your Heart (Mainland China GaGa) 2/10

Tropes: friends to lovers, codependency, amorphous ending

It’s very mainland China BL, which makes me feel a bit like we are back in 2016 being tormented by nostalgia. It hasn’t a single modern sensibility in it (to be fair neither does China’s het stuff). Which I don’t mind, but it felt off? Messy? Sideways? I was surprised that there was some high heat, but I wasn’t surprised that the couple ended up separated. And yet... If you expect to be disappointed, can you still be disappointed?

NOT RECOMMENDED

Kabe Koji (Japan Viki) 7/10 

Tropes: celebrity romance, sunshine/tsundere 

Basically this is A Man Who Defies the World of BL + Senpai This Can’t be Love (as @heretherebedork said) and equally painfully EXTRA. Nakao Masaki playing a sunshine bouncy himbo character is a fucking revelation, I didn’t think he had it in him. This should’ve been my favorite BL of all time (IT’S AN IDOL LOVE INTEREST!), but the tsundere is too tsundere for me, I really hate the stalker photograph thing it’s apparently a trigger I didn’t know I had until BL tried to romanticize it. I kept feeling like there were the bones of good story in this drama, and I got glimpses of it, but then it’s covered again - like tasty steak smothered in Kewpie mayo. 

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS 

Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (Japan grey) 7/10 

AKA I Only Want to Keep Looking at You

Tropes: friends to lovers, coming of age, high school setting, introvert/extrovert

This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. Gifted and serious Sakura (Kura Yuki from His the series) and outgoing eccentric manic pixie dream boy, Yuma. It is very pretty and this is the kind of atmospheric elegantly performed BL that only really comes from Japan (complete with dead fish kisses - what you though Korea invented them? oh no). I felt like I was “supposed to like it” more than I did, ultimately I was left feeling like I had seen it all before. So for me it was lovely but slightly unmemorable.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

Kiss X Kiss X Kiss - Perfect Scandal (Japan Billibi) 7/10

SHORT 5-8 minutes sample pack micro-romances: 2 featured BL-ish setups. One with idols in a group together and a secret relationship (Idol Kiss) and another featuring a reluctant boss and flirty subordinate (A Sweet Kiss). Both were cute but mostly just, ya know, kissing. (Reminds me a bit of Korea’s early Triple Do You Want). The interesting thing about the idol one, is one of the leads is ALSO in a het installment. He gives great chemistry with both his partners. And I think he’s a good example of an actor being just, ya know, an actor about the physical part of a romance. Which I take about in terms of never assuming queerness based on performance, here.

RECOMMENDED (for what it is)

KinnPorsche (Thailand iQiYi) 7/10

Tropes: bodyguard, mafia, cohabitation, BDSM, he’s a monster but he’s my monster

VegasPete were in one drama; KimChay were in another; KinnPorsche were in each of those randomly but then sometimes in their own extremely slapstick cheese-fest alt-reality + Tankhun. There were clearly 2 directors with 2 distinct and conflicting points of view, who apparently never had a single conversation with each other. Was this show good? Nope. Was it absorbing as fuck? Sure. Was it well acted, absolutely. Were the sex scenes great? Yes. We the fight scenes awesome? Actually yeah (special props to Jeff for the hand-to-hand stuff). Did I enjoy the kinky bits? Certainly. But all that said: the VegasPete universe of KP was the only universe I really enjoyed and would like to revisit, and I only got that 1/5 of the time. Mathematics is working against this one, for me personally. So I guess I, at least, am still waiting for the perfect mafia BL. I think it might be up to Japan at this juncture. As a result of fan fervor meets my own hearty indifference, I don’t really know how to judge this show but I have to go with my heart, and KP didn’t win it. No full review here on tumbr but I did post on to MDL.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

Kissable Lips (Korea Viki) 2/10

Tropes: fated mates, paranormal, vampire, codified chase/stalker/ seme

Vampire has to decide between killing the boy he loves or living longer himself. Perfectly cast with a sexy, deadly, tortured vampire and the sweet uke prey who managed to be soft and appealing without being weak or inactive (props to the actor). Better kisses than your average KBL did not mitigate the fact that they killed 1/2 of the couple. Ultimately, one of my most disappointing BLs of 2022. Full review here.

NOT RECOMMENDED

La Cuisine (Thailand GaGa) 7/10

Tropes: crush, campus star, bully trigger, best boys, soft & sweet,

A sweet and kind of pure show, and like Thai desserts perhaps requires too much patience for a layperson. Because of the pacing and the focus on the bad girl character, I did dock it. But if you like stuff in the Oxygen vein, then this show is for you, and far better than most Thai BL pulps. That said, I suspect that I enjoyed it more than many would. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

Love Area 2 (Thailand GaGa) 3/10

Tropes: I don’t know and neither does it

Look, it wasn't as bas as Bite Me, but it wasn’t actually good, either. This started out as Thailand tackles love triangles pulp style, but by season two lockdown had changed everything. Valen & Kaitoon dropped some great kisses but traded off crazy hair and makeup in a scene-by-scene whiplash that was clearly pickups done months after initial filming, and the second lead just... vanished. It was surreal. Side dishes jumped up screen time but tackled mental health... badly. A fantastic new queer side character was randomly introduced, June, who was the best thing to happen to BL linguistics in 2022 but had nothing to do with the rest of the cast, show, or plot. What a mess. Yes tehre was some very good chemistry and June is a GREAT queer character... BUT...  In the end, I was just confused af. Full review here.

NOT RECOMMENDED

Love Class (Korea GaGa) 8/10

Tropes: university BL, forced proximity, unrequited love, crush, slight love triangle, triggers (outing, bashing, stalking)

This was a fast-moving, bloated, complicated little show with stronger than usual story structure, well-acted if lacking in chemistry, that managed to be very appealing and engaging despite itself. What it lacked in content it more than made up for in pacing. Both bingable and rewatchable.

RECOMMENDED

Love in Spring (Korea grey) 3/10

AKA Spring of Crush

Tropes: historical, soap opera, fake identity, hidden secrets, cross dressing

This drama was all over the place with uneven acting, narrative, and focus (sometimes it wanted to be a slapstick comedy, sometimes a depressing drama) which meant no one, actors or viewers, took anyone or anything seriously.... AND it’s a bromance. I was left wondering is SalHyung is now code for “they were roommates” in Kdrama historicals but otherwise largely apathetic and unimpressed. Korea, we now know you can do better. Watch Tinted With You or Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding instead. Full review here.

NOT RECOMMENDED, NOT BL

Love in the Air (Thai iQIYI) 7/10

Tropes: enemies to lovers, too stupid to live, stalker/obsession, university setting, grumpy/tsundere, sunshine/tsundere, abuse triggers

What’s it like? Two stories of aggressive player dudes pursuing innocent younger boys. Terrible. Also entertaining and engaging and kinda hot. Like all good dumpster fires. Recommended only if you know you like this kind of thing. Look, you remember in high school drama class where they make you “envision a basket, and put all of your worry, bad mood, and anxiety into that basket, and leave it outside the door”? Well, in order to enjoy this show, you have to do that, only with your morals. Some people have bigger baskets than others. Mame’s creature whipped me into a verbal frenzy, resulting in yet another trash watch. 

RECOMMENDED WITH A LARGE BASKET OF RESERVATIONS 

Love Mechanics (Thailand WeTV) 6/10 

Tropes: messy disaster bi, out gay boy, cheating, drama llamas

My favorite messy cheeky drama-llama boys were back in spades. And initially I enjoyed it more than I should and more than it deserved. This whole series is basically a diatribe against cheating, with the sweet out gay boy reaping all the punishment a disaster bi can enact. YinWar are geniuses at chemistry and good actors, and their new high heat stuff is excellent, but the story was not improved by being given more time to hang itself. Full review on MDL. 

WORTH WATCHING FOR THE ACTING BUT SERIOUSLY FLAWED

Love Stage (Thailand Feb-March YouTube) 8/10

Tropes: childhood crush, sunshine/tsundere, unrequited love, secret identity

This BL surprised me with its charm. The acting was good, the leads were appealing, support cast on point, and the production values high. It followed the original manga story arc relatively closely: boy falls in love with girl as a child, grows up to discover girl is actually a very pretty boy. Although there are some quintessentially Thai changes that mellowed, softened, and extended the romance arc. One of the things I’ve always appreciated about this story is that the climax is about coming out as a celebrity couple as well as gay. I like the examination of the nature of celebrity versus privacy, and the contrasting kinds of closets. And I love that they depicted two couples with two different versions of this choice. A solid and enjoyable show. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED

Meow Ears Up (Thailand GaGa) 4/10

Tropes: PNR, catboy, broken characters, hurt/comfort

Adapted from the Korean manhwa Hey, Your Ears Popped Out. This is interesting, Thailand doesn’t adapt from outside their own y-novel tradition very often. This is a pretty classic version of catboy trope: a lonely orphan comic artist adopts a stray cat who suddenly turns into a human teaches him about love, chaos, and family. SO CUTE it hurts and I got very “indulgent daddy” vibes from Mr. DD, which I’m not mad about it. There’s surprising depth to this very weird little show. It’s touching and relatable, but I guess it was trying to be too Japanese/Korean about it while the set up was all sweetness and Thai style, because they fudged the ending. For me, that’s a fatal flaw. Full review here.

NOT RECOMMENDED

Minato’s Laundromat (Japan GaGa) 9/10

AKA Minato’s Coin Laundry AKA Minato Shoji Koinrandori AKA Minato Shoji Coin Laundry AKA Wash My Heart

Tropes: age gap, pining since childhood, 

A high school student pursues the man of his dreams who happens to run a laundromat in this classic age gap BL. Minato’s Laundromat is so steeped in yaoi tropes and archetypes, not to mention a typical romance arc, that it will be and overload for some fans, but those of who follow this genre for its DNA will adore it. It made me very happy because it did everything I want a BL to do, and there’s not much more I ask of a show than this. It’s the closest Japan has come to perfect live action yaoi since Seven Days. Squee watch along (in lieu of a full review).

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED 

Mr Cinderella (Vietnam YouTube) 8/10

Tropes: forced proximity, cohabitation, childhood sweethearts, opposites attract, good boy/bad boy, domesticity

Higher than normal production values plus experienced BL actors plus two charismatic smoldering leads with good kissing and comfortable body language make this Vietnam’s objectively best BL to date. Plus we got a fabulously (and quintessentially Vietnamese) domestic ending. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED

My Only 12% (Thailand iQIYI) 8/10  

Tropes: friends to lovers, childhood crush, out gay character, jock/nerd, cancer mom, side noona romance 

Neighbors and codependent childhood friends, Cake & Seeiw, have opposite personalities but may be falling in love. Familiar faces include Prem (Between Us) and Peak (Make it Right). This is a complex, nuanced, and well done little BL romance (tailor made for SantaEarth) about holding onto first love and childhood, but it’s buried under waffling family drama and formless side characters so that it took a lot of digging to get at. 

RECOMMENDED 

My Ride (Thailand GaGa) 9/10

Tropes: sunshine/softie, friends-to-lovers, crush, bisexual identity, out gay, rich/poor

BL grew up with this pulp - a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine AKA the cinnamon roll couple. Mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly overworked doctor meets broken hearted dimpled motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. With great friendship groups and family dynamics the support cast is excellent. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede the story, good friendship groups and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple. 

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My Secret Love the series (Thailand YouTube) 6/10 

Tropes: jock/nerd, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, reunion romance, secret romance, LTR 

Lead couple had a tom/jerry vibe with the uke too stiff and serious and the seme a prankster immature arse - one of my least favorite dynamics (it always seems mean-spirited). They reminded me of My Boy (which I DNFd) X BonDuen from My Engineer (who I dislike). Other pairs include BearBomb, TimMai and ParkLee (LTR whom use ter with each other). The domesticity with the side couples was somewhat engaging, and the sex scenes were descent, but that’s it. The worst thing about this show (aside from leads chemistry) was that the chemistry of the friendship groups felt off too. Normally, Thailand can handle friendship groups fine. But these two different groups? I didn’t believe they were friends at all. Full review on MDL. 

NOT REALLY RECOMMENDED 

My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Gaga & Viki) 8.5/10

Tropes: childhood trauma, phobias, doctor/patient, age gap

It’s not love in Taiwan if one of them doesn’t stumble into the other.

From the producers of We Best Love, earnest dentist hottie with sad eyes who worries too much is smitten with an adorable sunshine neurotic bar owner with serious anxiety issues, they fall in love while courting each other with food, plushies, and naps. Then, shocker, talk about their feelings and try to actually sort out their problems so they can have an adult relationship. Bonus 18 year old poor little rich kid in mad crush with a much older man. I really enjoyed this show, it had a fun premise, killer dialogue, there was a solis lead pair with charming chemistry, soft flirtation, and delightful smiling kisses and stinkingly cute domesticity. All that said, I wasn’t wild about some of the darker themes it explored (abuse, panic attacks, abandonment issues), even though it did a good job with them. And while the crumbs and sides were v adorable they were chronically underused. In the land of May/December, baby boy kabedon is my kryptonite! Why so little of them? Kabedon is My Krytonite = also the name of my indie band’s first single.) 

In other news: I identify WAY too much with the bartender daddy. He pretty much opens his mouth and says what I’m thinking 90% of the time. 

MUCH RECOMMENDED

Not Me (Thailand YouTube) 9/10  

Tropes: enemies to lovers, secret identity, identical twins, goodboy/bad boy

GMMTV gave us a dark disestablishment narrative (in a time of civil unrest) with established queer award-winning director Anucha and starring OffGun. THIS IS AN AMAZING THING to get to experience in the BL world - nerve racking but remarkable. But was it ACTUALLY BL? Not Me had a lot of BL elements, but in the end that’s not what the show was about, or even what it was genuinely trying to be. Still an amazing piece of Thai cinema certainly worth your time. Don’t worry, it all ends happily. Full review here. OffGun Eulogy here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Ocean Likes Me (Korea Viki) 8/10  

Tropes: opposites attract, grumpy/sunshine, impossible dreams

This is a solid little KBL, with a good premise and cast. Manic pixie dream boy can get old fast but when contrasted with awkward grumpy chef? Tasty combo that elevates both ingredients. Holland is a charming screen presence, baby boy is HYPNotiC. And while I wasn’t entirely sold on the chemistry with these two they gave us some very good kisses. I grinned through most episodes and I even didn’t mind the standard KBL 1 year separation at the end because it felt very true to the characters. Don’t worry they end up back together.

RECOMMENDED

Oh! Boarding House (Korea Viki) 8/10

Tropes: forced proximity, cohabitation, crush, love triangle

Spoiled rich kid in financial straights has to manage a boarding house full of quirky characters including: bratty cousin, wacko writer, adorable bestie with a crush, and the new hot jock (love interest). All in all, this show ended up being A LOT better than I expected. It was uneven in its attempt to reconcile early sitcom (slightly Thai) style with a serious love triangle and genuine romance but the quality of the performances and the kind and honest treatment of the characters make it definitely worth watching. (Full review here.)  

DEFINITELY RECOMMENDED, a lost gem esp for Kdrama fans 

Oh! My Assistant (Korea Viki) 7/1O

Tropes: grumpy/sunshine, himbo chaos bi, out gay 

This is a very silly show that acts like it comes from a very silly yaoi. Reserved out gay younger assistant (we stan) pretending to be tsundere but is actually just v shy and smitten by his cheerful (seemingly straight) chaos bi himbo artist boss. I think the cross cutting in of old footage with the replacement actor after the re-cast did affect the chemistry with this pair. There was no way around it. Even KBL isn't usually this awkward and repressed. Although this show had the best bisexual awakening sequence ever put in a BL, and I really wanted to love it, I just didn't. 

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

Oh My Sunshine Night (Thailand grey) 7/10

Tropes: university, sickness, fated mates, whipping boy, poor little rich boy, soap opera

Kim, a tsundere musician meets Sun, a transfer student with a weak heart. Also there’s his hot older brother + their household servant, and a couple of fencers for good measure. Initially this pretends to be a normal university, then it slips on wet tiles and falls right on trough multiple shower scenes into ludicrous soap opera territory leaving one with a sensation rather like trying to hold onto soap in a communal shower. Ultimately, everyone seems pretty happy they bent over, but no one actually got clean. 

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS 

Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan Viki) 9/10

Tropes: office romance, age gap, employee/boss, food is the love language, coming of age late in life

This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits for episode one. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said man with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. Full review here.

ABSOLUTELY RECOMMENDED

Once Again (Korea GaGa) 2/10

Tropes: age gap, childhood trauma, tragedy, time travel, inevitable fate 

JaeWoo lives with childhood trauma and gets a chance to travel to the past to fix it by saving JiHoon. But you can’t change fate. From Moving Picture (studio behind equally tragic Kissable Lips)) this one stars actors (not idols) including Moon Ji Young (also in The New Employee) and is very well performed with a great, but sad, actual PLOT. It was a little bit more creepy than romantic, kind of Gothic and tense, but also strangely amusing (this odd kid just keeps hugging JiHoon - that’s like 1000x weirder in Korea than most places) and more enjoyable than it had a right to be with a really interesting take on the childhood crush trope. Ultimately, however, it kills the gay and is very sad. 

NOT RECOMMENDED 

Our Days the series (Thailand GaGa) 4/10

Tropes: sports romance, messy gays be messy, cohabitation, crush, love triangle, tsundere

Enemies to lovers meets forced proximity (boarding house) in which I couldn’t decide if the unlikable main character was stupid or depressed (story of my life, see also Physical Therapy) but I can’t take yet another emo POV. There was no chemistry from the leads and great chemistry from the ex-friend/second lead. Saint’s dad punishing him, when he doesn’t realize it’s because Saint is gay and heartbroken, really had meat to it as part of a basketball story. But it was such a tiny part of the overall show it felt like eating a meal when all I liked was one ingredient. I’d like to see the actor who played Saint (Offroad) in other stuff but otherwise this one can fade and be forgotten. It was a mess, and not a hot one. Fatally flawed.

NOT RECOMMENDED

Paint with Love (Thailand Gaga) 6/10

Tropes: opposites attract, office romance, sunshine/tsundere, enemies to lovers, wierdo/rulebound

For me the mains were unlikeable and the actors had poor chemistry. So while this offered a lot of what I thought I wanted from a Thai BL - mature characters, office setting, adult themes - I’m wasn’t wild about the execution. I suspect Thai pulps are better when they stick to university/high school. This one felt like a better version of Loveless Society (but that’s not saying much). The side dishes (Yoon & Yacht) gave us more chemistry and a better kiss but had little screen time. It was interesting to see them portray BL actors being shipped and then confessing to actually dating each others I’m not sure how I feel about the handling of it but it was different from Lovely Writer. In the end, this show was nicely grown up but boring and became a matter of endurance for me. I can’t ever see myself rewatching it.

WORTH WATCHING FOR SOME BUT SERIOUSLY FLAWED

Papa & Daddy 2 (Taiwan GaGa) 6/10  

I don’t have a good history with 2nd seasons, and Taiwan really likes to make a soap opera out of their queers. Witness that this one starts with a secret baby trope. There’s a lot of lying to each other and evil parents and, of course, 2nd lead syndrome strikes again. The domesticity was, of course, excellent (I love the gay siblings sharing tips on how to parent) and it was actually kind of beautiful to watch them explore ideas around infidelity, affection, lost love, and rediscovery. However, it lost me at episode 3 and never quite got me back, not even with the delightfully cheesy wedding. All in all, this was a serviceable follow up to the first installment, if riddled by unbearable parents, lack of story, and sappiness.  

WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED

Plus & Minus (Taiwan Viki) 8/10

AKA Plus and Minus AKA PlusMinus

Tropes: friends to lovers, LTR, office romance, (himbo) sunshine/tsundere, found family, himbo

This is a solid safe little BL about codependent besties of 20 years finding their way into a romantic relationship. A bit cheesy, with lots of domesticity and occasional dumb drama. (But gay boys and chaos bis? What can ya do?) It’s not groundbreaking but it is a solid sweet unassuming little show of a style that is perhaps a bit more Thai than it is Taiwanese but I’m okay with that. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED

Rainbow Prince (The Philippines YouTube) 6/10

Tropes: disney princess, opposites attract, sunshine/tsundere

This long form MUSICAL BL is fucking LEGEND. Also it’s profoundly not good. The acting is absolutely terrible but that’s not the point, the point is that it’s a cheesy af fairy story. Possibly the gayest BL to ever BL and certainly the most camp and very Disney. Watch it of that’s your thing, otherwise hard pass. (Full review here.)

RECOMMENDED ONLY IF YOU ALSO LIKE DISNEY SHIT

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (Korea Viki) 8/10

Tropes: rich/poor, boss/employee, enemies to lovers, office setting, cohabitation  

This is a solid little office set KBL about a rich kid who ends up both the boss and tenant of a total sweetheart cutie, and falls madly in love with him. Although the show suffered from KBL’s shorter length, I love the kissable lips pair - they deliver solid all round chemistry despite limited screen time, which is rare from Korea. So I hope they stay branded and we get even more from them in the future. Special extra extended kissing scene.

RECOMMENDED

Secret Crush on You (Thailand YouTube) 7/10

Tropes: stalking, obsession, hottest guy on campus, multiple couples, queer affirming

Previously known as Stalker the series, and you can TELL. Co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces it was pure pulp and... I hated the plot. In fact I was ALL OVER THE PLACE with this show. SCOY drove me nuts and made me bush but had flashes of unparalleled genius. It had a ton of things I really did not like (e.g. the humor was crass and awkward, and the whole stalker thing was extremely CRINGE). It also had things that really worked: (e.g. representation of multiple different kinds of queerness, about which it very Taiwanese - in that there was no doubt that the characters really did want to bone). It was the opposite of sanitized gay. Honestly, if you can make it through the first half, and survive the never ending cringe-factor that IS this show, the second half is entirely unique - content we’ve never seen before in BL.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS, but not the usual ones.

Semantic Error (Korea Viki) 10/10

Tropes: opposites attract, enemies to lovers, bully romance, sunshine/tsundere, teasing & pranks

This is my favorite BL of 2022 won a Blue Dragon award. Korea hits it entirely out of both Parks (pun on the actors’ last names intended) by doing a university set BL with everything we might expect done exactly right, their signature quality executed perfectly, and added bonus good story, great pacing, yaoi style filming, and fantastic chemistry. You cannot ask for more from a BL, let alone a KBL. Full review here.

HIGHLY ETERNALLY OMG SO MUCH RECOMMENDED

Senpai, Danjite Koidewa! (Japan Viki) 6/10

AKA Senpai, This Can’t be Love!

Tropes: office romance, object of my affection, boss/employee

Adapted from a manga for the same name, it has a similar creepy worship stalking vibe Secret Crush On You. Look, I admit it, this dynamic (super awkward pining uke, rockstar seme) is one of my least favorites - high cringe factor meets navel gazing obsessive. Japan’s weird hang-up around physical expressions of affection in BL which I expect in their slapstick high school stuff, feels cowardly here. They don't leave out end kisses in their het office romances, time to stop desexualizing the gays, too. For a plot about courage, it’s a bummer that the narrative itself didn’t have any. I can’t imagine ever watching this show again or remembering its existence. When Japan drops the balls they drop all the way to the bottom of the well. 

NOT REALLY RECOMMENDED 

Something in My Room (Thailand YouTube) 2/10

Tropes: paranormal, cohabitation, my ghost boyfriend, sunshine/tsundere

Horror BL starring Nut (Oxygen) who was a revelation, still a little stiff but he handled a totally different character from Solo with aplomb. Essentially, this was a well done pulp lockdown project version of He’s Coming to Me (with hints of So Much in Love and Peach of Time) but it was its own creature at the last gasp. I enjoyed it when it got a bit creepy but it was so slow it never had a chance to maintain tension. The two leads were ultimately cute together, but, like Peach of Time, we all knew how this one was gonna end. The narrative never left us in any doubt and I don’t like unhappy endings in my BL. So even though the sad was predictable, I won’t give this drama anymore than 2/10. Don’t kill my gays, Thailand, even when they’re already dead.

NOT RECOMMENDED

Star & Sky: Star in My Mind (Thailand YouTube) 8/10

Tropes: university set, high school crush, jock/nerd, long term pining, secret crush, reunion

This is (sort of) a lost love reunion arc + freshy hotness contest giving it 2 Moons vibes. Look, this is one of those shows that I shouldn’t really like after 400 BLs. It’s not at all unique, just some classic Thai uni folderol driven by miscommunication (or just non-communication) and yet... I COULD NOT STOP WATCHING. Sure it felt like everyone involved with this show was mostly phoning it in, but it was a REALLY nice phone call. It’s basic BL. But honestly, don’t we all need that plain white t-shirt to wear under our engineering smock... in the end? Full review here.

RECOMMENDED

Star & Sky: Sky in Your Heart (Thailand YouTube) 5/10

Tropes: rural setting, country mouse/city mouse, rich/pour, enemies to lovers

A cheap 1000 Stars knock off about a doctor who goes rural and falls in love with a volunteer teacher. This show managed to be boring, corny, AND cheesy? I don’t know exactly how to write a review of this, as “dull” isn’t in my rating system but, it is a BIG SIN for me. I guess this should be added to my short list of BL‘s that are told from the seme’s perspective? Linguistically: these two are formal with each other using pom/khun. Also If you want to hear frozen register spoken, that’s what Prince’s maa speaks to tease Fah. Full review here.

WATCH ONLY IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

Takara-kun and Amagi-kun (Japan GaGa & Viki) 9/10  

Tropes: high school crush, chaos baby, high angst, classic seme/uke, secret relationship 

I gnawed on my knuckles and squealed a lot with this show. Reserved cool kid who must lean to communicate to keep the tiny disaster nugget he’s madly in love with. It is beyond charming: soft and gentle, packed with cuteness and high school angst. Did anything actually happen? No. Was it emotionally tense and paced well enough for me not to notice? Absolutely. Was there plot? Not really. Did I enjoy the hell out of it, anyway? Oh yes. Full review. 

TOTALLY RECOMMENDED 

That’s My Candy (Korea Viki) 3/10

Tropes: magical realism, LTR, breakup, amnesia, reunion

KimCop vehicle from Star Hunter, about an LTR between a student Jing (Cop) + nurse Guy (Kim) who have been together for 3 years. Guy is busy all the time so Jing is starting to feel neglected and look elsewhere. KimCop are excellent (no surprise there) but I was not into the story, premise, or concept. Side couple Viking & TamTam stole this one for me but the final ep activates the amnesia trope so even they could save it. Honestly I was left, ultimately with a sensation of: What did I just watch? It was terrible. Full review here.

NOT RECOMMENDED

Tinted With You (Korea Viki) 8/10

Tropes: historical, portal fantasy, time travel

Fun stylish time travel portal fantasy with a likable cast, historical setting, and two actual kisses that mitigate a rough plot and issues around anachronisms. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED

To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories (Korea Viki) 7/10

Tropes: grumpy/sunshine, hurt/comfort, opposites attract, forced proximity, breakup/reunion

If you like angst, wallowing, and realistic relationship struggles in your BL, watch this. If you prefer fluffy comforting BL, avoid like the plague. For me the pay out was not sufficient to the pain. I enjoyed the performances, directing, and chemistry - the leads’ comfort with each other is unprecedented in Korean BL, but that’s not enough for me to rise above the pain of the narrative. This show is a home wrecking hussy, but like super classy about it. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED WITH SERIOUS RESERVATIONS

Triage (Thailand grey) 7/10  

Tropes: time loop, age gap, medical drama, fated mates

I thought the plot was good if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry and the support characters were likable (or unlikable as required). I feel much as a did with Manner of Death, which is to say: this feels less BL than it does gay time-slip suspense. If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot. But I’m in BL for the romance, and the rewatchability, and this had very little of either. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

The Tuxedo (Thailand GaGa) 3/10

Tropes: tsundere seme, enemies to lovers, rich/poor

GMMTV be like, “see us squander glorious chemistry on terrible scripts.” The Tuxedo be like, “oh yeah? Hold my beer.” Watching this was like eating a meal of just spices. the spice profile was great, but it wasn’t ON actual food. The show itself had no plot or story and MADE NO SENSE, but I really hope we see these boys again in something more worthy of them.

NOT RECOMMENDED

Unforgotten Night (Thailand GaGa) 5/10 

Tropes: mafia, BDSM, not much of either 

Adapted from the y-novel Mafia's Bad Love, (originally featured both a gay poly triad and a GL sub plot). Stared Yoon (YYY, Paint With Love, My Ride) as a mafia Dom and Ton (Y-Destiny) as the accountant sub. Kim has a one night stand with a random stranger who becomes obsessed with him. Pretty soon into this I began to think this show should be called Forgotten Kink rather than Unforgotten Night. There isn't any. Mostly there's faucets left on and shower heads used for tie points (don't DO that). But honestly this was just bad. There is a moral to this show but I’m not sure what it is. Don’t combine your BDSM-but-not-really BL pulp with plumbing? In the end, this dumpster fire was extinguished by a garden hose and all we were left with was leaky pipes and the smell of damp trash. The only kinks were in the hose. No full review but I did to a trash watch. 

WATCH IT IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO, BUT I WARNED YOU

Vice Versa (Thailand YouTube) 8/10 

Tropes: alt reality, bodyswap, soulmates AKA fated mates, portal fantasy

Jimmy (Puen the super flirt confident king) is insanely charismatic and takes up all the air in (the proverbial cinematic) room, but I warmed up to Sea (Talay the timid acerbic sweetheart) eventually. As a couple they read as more teasing and brotherly than sexy, but that’s GMMTV’s brand. I enjoyed the concept of this show (I’m big into magical realism and skewed reality - see my adoration for Color Rush) but JittiRain’s plot was contrived and weak (normal for them). I find the “writing on each other” habit quite cute. Look, here’s the thing, flaws and all I pretty much spent this entire show smiling. I didn’t even mind being so obviously manipulated. That said, this is never going to be one of my top rewatch rotations, so I’m calling it for an 8/10. 

RECOMMENDED

Want to See You (Vietnam YouTube) 5/10

AKA Muốn Nhìn Thấy Em

Tropes: whipping boy, disability, secret love

Everyone’s favorite Vietnamese hottie Ba Vinh (O2 Productions: Mr Cinderella etc...) played an arsehole blind man (Jane Eyre feels) who hires a live in nurse and both get taken advantage of by a series of psycho femme fatales characters. The chemistry was okay but not Vinh’s best. Did they serve up prime domesticity? Of course. This is Vietnam, you get what you pay for. But tonally, this show was all over the place, hugely inconsistent in characterization and motivation. No clean narrative through line. Nothing anyone did actually ever made sense, it was mostly just frustrating. 

WATCH ONLY IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO 

What If (Thailand WeTV) 4/10

Had promised but was ultimately a complete letdown, not really BL either. It was, in the end, primarily about singing, so you know I didn’t like anything about this. 

NOT RECOMMENDED 

What Zabb Man! (Thailand YouTube) 8/10

Tropes: enemies to lovers, tsundere seme, rich/poor

WZM was better than we have any right to expect with decent pacing and a foodie theme threaded through the narrative as both love language and plot driver. Basically CEO falls in love with a street vendor’s food, recruits him to work in his hotel, falls in love with him, and that’s the beginning. Class struggles! Kitchen drama! Papaya pounding (not a euphemism)! Chef poaching (not literally)! Spicy scenes (yes literally)! It’s all so delicious. Full review here.

RECOMMENDED, especially if you like Thai food

You’re My Sky (Thailand Viki) 6/10

Tropes: sports romance, friends to lovers, jock/nerd meets sunshine/tsundere, cheating

A serviceable college-set pulp that focused on 3 sports romances with high angst, but was ultimately too slow moving for me, and with only one couple I liked (SaenAei). Main couple, FahThorn = basketball jocks, boring. DomeVee = track & field with a disaster bi cheating with your sister’s boyfriend storyline (by FAR the best sexual chemistry). SaenAei = jock/nerd with a younger puppy sunshine seme, best boys. Saen was my favorite character; relentlessly flirty but always clear about with his interest and steady in his regard, but who wants this many eps for one side character?

WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED AND YOU NEED PATIENCE  

Work from Heart (Thailand YouTube) 4/10

Tropes: Romeo & Romeo, office romance

Pulp office drama featuring tons of couples starring Gameplay as rich kid terrible dresser Dee who forms an unfathomable and poorly depicted romance with his internship supervisor. Some nifty linguistic stuff and great lead pair chemistry, doesn’t compensate for one of the worst wardrobes and an ultimately unfathomable plot. 

FATALLY FLAWED

THE DNF/DNW LIST

Shows I dropped, lost track of, never got around to or otherwise failed to complete.

2 Moons: The Ambassador AKA 2 Moons 3 (Thailand grey) 

I hear that it’s pretty banal and I’m just waiting to collect them all and binge. I doubt it will get a high rating from me or monkey with the standings much so I’m not fussed. 

7 Days 7 Boys (Thailand grey) 

No subs and it is also profoundly not good. Do not bother.

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us (Thailand GaGa) 

8 eps - This is a queer drama not a BL. It’s fine, reminded me oddly of early Taiwanese stuff, a bit slow moving and oddly paced. But I intensely disliked the lead character. He's a brat in the wrong way. Especially as a 20 year old. 

Country Boy 2 (Thailand who cares?)

I barely managed the first installment. No thank you. 

Fahlanruk (Thailand GaGa) 

I found all the characters profoundly unlikeable. I don’t like any of the couples and the fujoshi framing is repulsive under the context of a narrative trying to be this authentically gay. I lost all patience and cut my losses at ep 5. @heretherebedork said it was BohnDuen 2.0 only worse and that’s my least favorite dynamic of all time, so yeah, not gonna bother. 

Fudanshi Bartender no Tashinami (AKA Accomplishment of Fudanshi Bartender) (Japan Gaga) 

BL Express posted a review and it sounds A LOT like another kind of Absolute BL thing from Japan, but focused on the fudanshi side of the equation and I could not be less intersted so I did not watch. 

Gameboys 2

I have no idea what happened - to me or it. But I remember watching a bit, and then just got distracted or something. 

Getaway (Singapore YouTube)

Based on an original story from a gay creator featuring an openly gay cast this vacation romance from Singapore set in Bangkok did nto work for me. The lead was fine but the muscle boy love interest's acting was just bad. Look, I’m the first to admit that there’s a lot of bad and awkward acting in this genre, but for some reason… it feels a lot worse in English. I like how unabashedly gay the show is but (how do I put this nicely, I guess...) if I’m gonna watch English language gay vacay shit – I’d rather watch Fire Island. Still, as one might expect, the heat execution is good (Taiwan still holds the crown, tho). But I eventually just gave up.

In a Relationship (Thailand YouTube)

Thailand’s answer to Gameboys (a bit late, kids). I’m generally not a fan of lockdown romances and this didn’t grab me.

My Roommate (Thailand YouTube)

32 eps of 2 minutes each with such terrible production values I couldn’t be bothered. Def not my thing.

My Tempo (Thailand grey) 

A Thai BL movie about the Thai music industry. Yeah, no thank you.

On Cloud Nine (Thailand YouTube) 

A country-set atmospheric series from MindTrio about afterlife and awaiting loved ones. Def not my thing. 

Physical Therapy (Thailand GaGa)

Milk is basically a Mainland China-style super useless heroine type. He’s, ugh, so totally not cute. I just don’t think emo is sexy (sorry Japan). I don’t understand why anyone likes him: friends, crushes, lovers. And I couldn’t tell if the doctor was faking it or just a terrible actor.

Rak Dao (Thailand grey)

A real sit com that was just too much for me to take. I didn’t even survive the first 2 episodes. And I usually give a drama 3 eps.

Restart(ed) (Thailand grey)

Looked like Top Secret Together meets Y-Destiny but ended up being more like Club Friday. Glimmers of good chemistry and hella queer but even that did not save this from terrible sound and an incomprehensible plot full of completely random characters. An absolute mess.

Scent of Love (Thailand no idea)

Just couldn’t find it. Also it’s the lead pair from My Secret Love so could not be bothered to even try. 

SELF (Thailand YT) 

Is it sad? Worth watching? I don’t know, no one said a peep about this show but I got a bad feeling about the end so I never bothered. 

The Promise (Vietnam YouTube)

Stepbrothers trope, enemies to lovers, high school, reunion romance, grumpy/tsundere. Narrative has a “memoir” framework. Sort of Cherry Blossoms After Winter if they were enemies.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear (Thailand grey)

Surreal drama series with dark elements. Nat's giant teddy bear, Taohu, miraculously turns into a young man but can't remember anything about himself. I found out this has what I COUNT as a sad ending and with it being hard to find i didn’t bother.

The Next Door Crush (Vietnam YouTube) 

Reunion romance or something, I couldn’t be arsed. 

To Sir, With Love AKA Khun Chai (Thailand grey) 

I’m waiting on grey subs for this Thai historical gay soap opera that came outta nowhere. It’s more lakorn than it is BL (soapy) and word is it ends happily. It’s just taking me time to track down. 

War of Y (Thailand Gaga) 

Tropes: industry self criticism, messy gay, general chaos

COPY A BANGKOK brings us 20 episode of Cheewin’s nonsense starring the boys from Y-Destiny and SCOY. My initial thoughts? It was better than any of us have a right to expect but I hated it. I disliked it for the same reason I don’t like rockstar romances... celebrities (and their people) are assholes. This show features a bunch of actors behaving like actors, managers behaving like managers, all of them predators and victims and both. I’ve dropped before for less (Call It What You Want) and I’ll drop again. Then again I loved Lovely Writer - but I think that’s because Sib is meant to be a sinister dick who’s only an actor because it gets him closer to Gene, and i like that approach. War of Y is just a collection of fragile egos easily traumatized by their own desires (and the needs of others) - it’s brutal to watch. BillySeng are killing it, but.... it hurts, and not in a good way. I’m going to save it and binge all at once when I am feeling bored and resilient. Will I watch it eventually? Maybe? Probably not. I think we have an ITSAY situation going on here. Also BL Express was not best pleased, and I while we rarely share taste, in this instance I trust their reporting.

Ones I Could Not Track Down - Japan of course 

Both Me and Him are the Grooms AKA Boku mo Aitsu mo Shinrodesu - Aired March 2022 on KTV & Tver, some see it on Gaga, but not me. This is a coming out drama rama. Ryosuke and Mizuki are getting married but on the wedding day Mizuki finds out that his partner didn't tell his parents, relatives, or friends that he's gay. Catastrophe results: furious outbursts, fighting between the two families, and then Mizuki's ex boyfriend shows up. 

Grand Guignol - a horror, paranormal, high shcool movie that released in Japanese theaters middle of the year. Starred Rio Komiya (Eternal Yesterday) and Ryosuke Sota (Mr Unlucky) among others.

Kamisama no Ekohiiki - body swap, paranormal, country set. Amano Yashiro has a crush on his best friend, Nanahara Kenta. Yashiro died in a car accident after being rejected by Kenta. However, due to God's favoritism, Yashiro was reborn as a female student called Tendo Kagura, and lives a new life. Yashiro decides to make use of his girly look to have Kenta fall for him. While Yashiro and Kenta become closer, they were interrupted by Kenta's ex-girlfriend, Torii Rin, who told "Kagura" to stay away from Kenta. Furthermore, it was discovered that Yashiro's body is still alive. What is actually happening?

Melting Night: Secret Kiss - microfilm part of the Kiss X Kiss X Kiss series, featuring the stepbrothers trope that aired on Tiver. A and B are friends who are secretly in love with each other. They became stepbrothers after their parents' remarry. Even though they acted like family, their feelings overflow and when their parents were gone...

Yes I REALLY want to see this one. 

Sing In Love AKA Miso's Koi Kogare Utae - movie adaptation of a PNR manga released in theaters, but no word on international distribution. About a teacher who encounters a mysterious man from his past, who is strangely obsessed with him. 

2022 BL Announced but Never Aired or Otherwise Confusing 

Eye Contact AKA មើលបានហាមសម្លឹង - Cambodia

Tie The Not AKA Under the Same Sky - The Philippines 

Ghost and I Becoming Family - Taiwan 

God's Military Officer - Taiwan 

Melody In Me - Vietnam 

The Lost Ring AKA The Ring Goes Missing reboot - Vietnam

KOREAN BL ANNOUNCED FOR 2022 BUT NEVER AIRED 

Bon Appetit

Comfort the Boy AKA A Shoulder to Cry On - premiere postponed indefinitely due to actor contract conflict, rated R15+ due to topic & vulgarity

Eccentric Romance - was supposedly in production July 2022. Silkwood’s 2nd Thai/Korean colab but not their last.

Eul's Love

Follow The Wind - supposed to have released in the first half of 2022

Happy Merry Ending

Heesu in Class 2

Individual Circumstances

Jun and Jun - filming Dec 2022

Love Class 2 AKA Love Class Season 2 - filming was to start Nov 2022

Love is like a Cat - supposedly completed filming aug 2022 so I guess stuck in post? stars Mew. 

Love Tractor

Secret Relationship -  was to be adapted by Cradle Studio (a subsidiary of Kakao).

Space Bakery

Two Game Over 

Why R U? Korean remake - supposedly filming Sept 2022 

I am assuming most of these can be transferred to 2023 expectations but am not sure. 

THAI BL ANNOUNCED FOR 2022 BUT NEVER AIRED 

Art Adore En

Bitter Sweet

Boxer In Heart

Buddy Line Y Animal AKA Buddy Line Y(aoi) Animal

Call My Name

Cinderella Boys

City of Stars AKA Fueangnakorn

Destiny Seeker

Future the series

Heart by Heart

Imado Jinja

Intern In My Heart

Love at First Sight

Make a Wish

Mr. Bad Guy

My Broccoli

My Engineer 2

My Last Love

My Lucky Cat

Nilundon

Past Love In The Future

Past-senger AKA Pastsenger

The Sweet Robot

The Theory series

Trouble Maker

Does not include those announced for 2022 but which have since been officially moved to 2023. Those will appear on the 2023 forthcoming lists. 

(source)

[nonsensical-pixels]

THE LINDASIMS2 RESEARCH AND EXPERIMENTATION: PART SIX

Today, it's finally here, and with proper grammar and punctuation (hopefully!), as my 200th post. The proof that only @lindasims2 could've destroyed her own content.

As a bloody April Fool's joke.

And we've all been blind to it for years and years and years.

With the help of @fireflowersims, @bstu, my buddies Yolkema and Zeta_Reticuli on the Simscord, @honeymoonseason, and many other lovely folks who are also tired of Linda and her followers' BS, we finally got proof that only LINDA, ONLY LINDA, could've destroyed those files we got.

Keep reading, it's a long one, but I promise it's worth it.

THE REASON FOR THE POLYCOUNT

Firstly, I returned to my roots: the March 2021 set. I wanted to see what else I’d missed. Now, when I loaded up a specific pair of leggings Linda made, I finally understood why the polycount is so high.

If you zoom in closely, you can clearly see that each subset is duplicated multiple times. At first I thought that was normal, until I realised that it's all identical. And uh, that's not normal!

Now, what did Linda herself say? That she has experience in… clothing?

Yeah, I’m pretty sure you'd be able to do this, Linda. With your eyes closed.

THE JPG IMAGES

For awhile I wondered why this particular image was thrown in so randomly into not just this file, but almost every file in the March 2021 dump. But thanks to Linda’s providing that lovely VK link on her callout post against NoMoreSims2Patreon, I finally know the only person in this that had any ‘sentimentality’ regarding Mr Junior over here. (Yes, it’s not actually McQueen, which makes it all the more specific! I love it!)

This was posted just 1 day after that lovely March 2021 dump finally released, on 1st April. No coincidence, I bet, that this Junior is being sent by the lovely lindasims2 herself! Photo provided by @honeymoonseason and also shared to me by multiple others :]

Yeah, Linda, what do you have to say to this…? Your favourite fake Lightning McQueen has finally exposed who actually placed him in this file, and only because you were kind enough to link us to your VK group <3

THE DATES

So, after this pretty incriminating discovery, I decided to backtrack and take a look at what Linda claimed in her callout post to NoMoreSims2Patreon:

These files were apparently last edited on March 28, many days after Linda made a post announcing them. Which points to the leaker being the one to edit them, right?

Well…Linda, did you forget how you operate or something?

Linda uploaded these files on April 1st 2021, having ‘forgotten’ to upload them on March 31st. Credits go to @caramelsmiles12 and @honeymoonseason for the pics <3 Yeah, Linda, thanks for admitting your own guilt?

It’s impossible for any leaker to be able to edit files before they’re even released. To my understanding, Linda purposefully added those corrupt characters and NSFW defaults to her CC, as a sick April Fool’s prank on the people who download her leaked CC.

All of the files you see above, have had the hidden sim, PT 19 (also renamed some very bad slurs by Linda) slipped in. (Though #332 has been accidentally saved by me, lol). The top-only teen-elder male folder also contains the weird gigantoborkodoggo default. And they were all last edited a day before Linda even released the files to her subscribers.

THE EXPERIMENTS

@fireflowersims was kind enough to do some experiments with the corrupted files, to see what else we could find, as well as to dig deeper in them. I won’t state all of them here, but here are a few that stood out to me:

THE LOGIC

I can already hear Linda’s hardcore defendersand subscribers in my askbox (like @alicestrife and @sims2x10 <3) claiming that the pics have been edited, that somehow I have changed the story, etc. I have done nothing except look at the facts I have dug up or been shown. If you want proof, look at this post, it contains some stuff that may interest you and was found over a year ago. As well as the original files :]

I can already see that not being enough for some of you, so here’s the logic even if you don’t take the incriminating Junior (yeah, the fake Lightning McQueen) JPG, or the fact that the files were edited pre-release, into account.

Let’s look at the pros and cons to corrupting these files, for both Linda and her leakers.

PROS FOR LINDA: Gets to ‘expose’ the leaker that has been a thorn in her side all this time. Gets to prank the clueless people who download from her for April Fool’s. Gets more subscribers since people are desperate for ‘good’ content from her.

CONS FOR LINDA: Some people may accuse her, but of course, she always points them to her leakers. Because who else gets direct content from her? Only her hardcore patrons, who won’t turn against her.

PROS FOR LEAKERS: Uhh… maybe gets a kick out of seeing people get mad at Linda?

CONS FOR LEAKERS: People no longer trust them. They won’t download their content, which is how pirates survive in this community. Attitudes towards pirates have always been terrible in this community, especially from the paywallers themselves. Also, people will probably accuse them since they are the people who reupload CC.

Who do you think would have corrupted these files, even without the evidence shown above?

SUMMARY

Stolen meshes, illegally paywalled content, etc. was never enough for Lindasims2, clearly. No, she had one thorn in her side that she wanted to get rid of: NoMoreSims2Patreon, who continually shared her files FOR FREE to the public and meant she made much, much less money.

So, for one final April Fool’s joke of leaked content, she slipped in a very large, very corrupted surprise for anyone who downloaded from her leaker–and sat back and waited. A year later, @dystopianam stumbled across that hidden surprise and on spiraled this saga of discoveries by myself and many others.

However, Linda made a couple of mistakes. She assumed people would look at her response post and think, oh, surely it’s the leaker! Linda’s dates match up!

But thanks to Dale Earnhardt Jr. himself, a bunch of Simscorders and many others decided to research further. And found her lie. Thanks for having such love for a minor Cars 1 character, Linda!

I urge everyone to do their best to report Linda’s Tumblr account, Boosty, Patreon, etc. What she has done ON PURPOSE to destroy people’s games and frame others is NO JOKE. I am not sure if we can take legal action against this sort of ‘malware’ that she produced many years ago, but I know one thing.

A minimum of 2278 simmers have downloaded the reuploaded archive containing Linda’s special April Fool’s 2021 joke. 2278, not counting anyone who might’ve been shared these files through other links, downloaded them from friends, etc. 

CHECK YOUR GAMES, guys! And for the love of all things holy, STOP SUPPORTING SIMS PAYWALLERS! ESPECIALLY THIEVES LIKE LINDA!

[casualheizouenjoyers]

“don’t forget to like and subscribe!”

genshin youtubers au

characters included: childe, xiangling, nahida, 5wirl (aether, venti, xiao, kazuha & heizou), & kaeya

Childe (can be read as platonic or romantic)

100% a sweaty gaming streamer

he unironically owns a minecraft themed bed im SORRY

is really sweet to the fan artists in his community and hypes them up IMMENSELY

would wear a maid dress for a sub goal

i feel like his community would be like medium size with people who donate a LOT of money and subs

mainly on twitch, uploads complications from streams on youtube but no original content

streams late at night or super early in the morning even though he has nothing to do during the normal hours of the day, his neighbors hate his guts

would definitely be the type to show you off to chat

if you’re dating this man say goodbye to a normal sleep schedule you’re never getting it back

would unironically give you his merch for christmas

posts the worst takes on twitter, for the love of all that is sacred take control of his main account

unironically has called you his little pogchamp

Xiangling (platonic) 

has a really cute cooking channel with a cute like animated chibi intro. gouba is the channel mascot and the design on every piece of merch

has the most aesthetic kitchen and posts a new tour/tutorial whenever she renovates it

occasionally posts videos from the kitchen of her dad’s restaurant and/or videos with her dad and they’re the most wholesome thing ever

being her friend or roommate instantly means being in at least one video to taste test

if you can’t cook she definitely tests out tutorials on you and asks for your advice on how to explain stuff

and if you can cook she definitely asks you to participate in friendly cooking competitions or challenges with her (her food is always better but she’s a sweetheart about it)

Nahida (platonic)

wholesome toy review channel

in my soul she has a hyperfixation on toy production so despite her young age her reviews are lowkey mad informative and oddly insightful

especially favors puzzle games and those fake pet toys (i had one of a cat growing up and i loved mr whiskers with my heart and soul)

tries to edit her videos herself, but eventually her big sibling (you) edits them while she watches and makes suggestions

you manage the ‘business’ side of the channel, like helping decide which toys to review and where to get them and manage any sponsorships and explain what those mean (she picks it up real fast though)

i imagine teucer also has a two review channel so the two would become friends while reader & childe are jokingly in a rivalry (or at least reader takes it as a joke, child is very 50/50)

Aether (romantic or platonic)

wholesome travel blogger who people keep trying to beat in subscriber count before deciding to become his friend

i imagine the abyss is like a company that tried to sponsor aether but he refused because the company was against his morals, and like the fauti are another company that has the same situation going on

enjoys showing people the best places to go in different countries and how to save lots of money while doing so

paimon is definitely his younger sister or like close enough friend that they’re basically siblings who goes with him and is really good with languages so she helps aether out

didn’t really have a set house anywhere and would just edit in hotel rooms or friends’ houses until he formed the youtube group 5wirl and they live together in a big house

people were worried about what his content would be during quarantine so he switched to making content with 5wirl and playing variety games while also still making content about how he plans his next destinations and stuff

definitely plays geoguesser he’s been everywhere he’s a god at it

literally collabs with everyone he’s so friendly, being with him would be a bit frustrating because at least before 5wirl you’re always going to be moving around but he treats you like royalty

most aesthetic instagram feed in the UNIVERSE, has to be convinced to post rare pictures of himself

venti (romantic or platonic)

first member of 5wirl! he’s a cover channel and his wind spirit form is his channel icon

either does the most beautiful cover you’ve ever heard or the most cursed parody in existence it’s always a toss up

LOVES fan artists and always commissions different artists to do the thumbnail for his covers and they’re gorgeous

another person to take twitter away from he only posts when he’s drunk

keeps forgetting to post when he’s about to go live so update accounts have to do it for him and his stream always crashes from the sudden influx of people

does drunk streams with kaeya and has a separate vods channel

chat first finds out about your existence during a drunk stream and you just awkwardly come in like “hi” 🧍🏻

first interaction with aether was when aether raided him on twitch and eventually they exchanged discords and became friends

dvalin is venti’s editor who remain anonymous

if you even jokingly mention you want venti to sing/play a song he’ll drop everything to do it for you

only plays any sort of video game on stream or in a video with xiao

xiao (romantic or platonic)

was convinced by venti to join 5wirl

xiao & venti first interacted with each other at a convention like vidcon and venti made up an intro song to go with his starting soon screen and they started to talk more

the first youtube person xiao would talk about you to is venti but he doesn’t let venti talk to you until he has to convince venti you’re real and not just an excuse to not hang out or call-

mostly plays horror games on stream, literally nothing startles this man he’s always sitting there like :| while venti is screaming his lungs out

he used to be in a youtube group with the other yakshas but they all decided to quit doing youtube or streaming and therefore xiao was super hesitant to join 5wirl but you & venti worked together to convince him to give it a shot

fucked up sleep schedule, has a really cool stream setup

kazuha (romantic or platonic)

1/2 of a buzzfeed unsolved true crime style channel with heizou, the two joined 5wirl at the same time

it’s a little different of a format, basically heizou does research of unsolved cases and presents his theories while kazuha does research on solved cases and heizou tries to figure out who the culprit was

likes to play music games as well, i headcannon that he has perfect pitch so he likes to do perfect pitch tests on stream (he has ‘beef’ with venti because they both have perfect pitch and do perfect pitch contests on stream and shit)

very aesthetic instagram, he occasionally collabs with aether to do some travel style stuff every once in a while to take a break as to not get burnt out from just doing the same content style

does solo content on the shared channel with heizou where he plays survival style games and shows off his fencing skills

kazuha has a fucked up sleep schedule but it wouldn’t affect you since he’s always mindful of his volume

tomo used to be the channel editor until he decided to go to film school and didn’t have anymore time so kazuha & heizou take turns editing with your aid

likes to play animal crossing on stream with you or team survival games like raft and always makes sure that if only one of you can survive it’s going to be you

likes to play minecraft on stream but only with other people, prefers survival to creative

heizou (romantic or platonic)

1/2 of shared channel with kazuha, it was originally his idea and he brought it up to kazuha because they were friends in highschool and thought at the very least it’d be a nice way to reconnect

when kazuha is on break for solo content he likes to play murder mystery games or invites you, xiao & venti (since heizou & aether are out filming travel content) to play clue with him. does he always win? yes. but it’s still really fun since venti likes to get very into his assigned persona/character and you do the same :)

also likes to do quizzes on the internet of like reading facial/body language and is INSANELY good at it

gets easily distracted from researching unsolved cases so you always help him stay focused and do research and he’s eternally grateful for that

doesn’t particularly enjoy playing jackbox games or any group variety stuff unless it’s with you & anyone from 5wirl

doesn’t really collab with sara but the two are friends and hang out at cons

always ropes you into acting in videos with kazuha that give people tips to remain safe in any sort of situation and not get taken advantage of

kaeya (romantic or platonic)

when not doing drunk streams with venti and occasionally rosaria he’s a fashion youtuber 100%

loves roasting subscriber outfits and also covers the history of trends

lovingly makes fun of his friends’ fashion sense but it’s all in good fun

makes sure whenever you go with him to cons y’all are the best dressed

the knights of favonius are a talent/management agency and aether is called an honorary knight because while he’s not part of the agency he does collab with a lot of their members

most stylish and lowkey youtuber merch

claims to be diluc’s brother, no one believes him and think he only says that so dawn winery can sponsor him and send him wine

usually has a good sleep schedule, but all his drunk streams are always at like 2 am so good luck with dealing with his hangover

the morning after drunk streams are always hell for the both of you