Do you think you could do Sirius Black with the “I hate everyone but you.” Personality.
James is immediately alerted to your glum mood when you sit down without so much as a greeting, and he leans across the table with narrowed eyes.
"What's'a matter, Y/L/N?"
"Sirius is mad at me." You reveal drearily, wrapping your hand around the fork set at your place even if you don't feel like eating.
"Oh," James's brow scrunches, "Don't take it personal, babe. He's having a shit day, he heard from his mum. Nothing nice, I bet. Wouldn't let me see it. Just- he's grouchy with everyone today, don't let it bother you."
"But he told me to come back tomorrow," You recount, "Like he can't stand seeing me for the entire day! What am I supposed to do, James, we're set to study in the library at three. And- and I could help him! I could be there for him, but he's pushing me away instead."
James's brows raise, and a pitying smile works its way over his face, "Love. You're the kind of person that wants to be around people all the time. You seek comfort out when you're sad; Sirius doesn't. If you love him, y'gotta let him sulk for a bit. Then he'll come to you. And-" His nose scrunches, his brows wrinkled, "And all he said was 'come back tomorrow'? That's nothing. He told me to get my bespectacled arse out of the room before he shut the window on my head."
Your face contorts in horror, "James! James, that's so mean, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, darling." He snickers, "That's what I mean, that's just what Sirius does."
"Not to me he doesn't," You frown, "That's not okay, James, he should treat you better than that."
"He's having a rough time," James shrugs, "Doesn't bother me. He's all talk, he'd never do any of it. Just needs to blow off steam, y'know? And I think we both know why he tones it down for you, Y/N."
"I'm not special," You snap, reigniting the age-old argument between you and James that Sirius totally does not have feelings for you, not one bit.
"Right," James gives you an overexaggerated roll of his eyes, curls bouncing as he does so, "That's why he threatened to behead me and all he did to you was kindly shoo you away."
"Maybe you just piss him off more than me," You stick your tongue out at him, and turn to Remus for support as the boy sits down beside you.
"Morning," James takes the lead, shooting you a smirk out of the corner of his eye, "Talk to Sirius today, Moony?"
"Little shit told me if I didn't stop talking to him - which I only tried once, by the way," Remus groans, "- he'd 'mess me up' so hard my transformations felt like reprieve."
James's eyes widen and he tries tamping down a snort, tucking into his breakfast instead. Remus turns to you and your once-more incredulous gaze, scoffing lightly, "And I suppose he just told you to come back tomorrow?"
"That's exactly it!" James slams a fist on the table, a chunk of egg flying from his mouth that Remus shakes off of his hand with a grimace, "Moony, tell her she's special."
"I'm not special," You desperately try deluding yourself, shoveling your own forkful of food into your mouth as soon as you're done speaking, so that you don't have to answer to their protests, "He just hates you both."
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The black brothers tragedy is not that “sirius abandoned regulus”.
It’s that they were put against each other their whole lives and the love was always conditional and limited, which means that they both felt like if one of them had the love from their parents, the other one wouldn’t have it (because it was true).
They both craved it immensely (yes, even sirius at some point, every child craves their parent’s love) and yet having it meant the other one wouldn’t have it - not a conscious process of thinking, just how things were.
And at the same time this was happening, they loved each other immensely. They only had each other for a decade, they cared for each other more than anything.
Their story is a tragedy not because one of them “abandoned” the other or “didn’t take care” of the other. But because their relationship is a mix of pure love and resentment, jealousy and empathy, and disappointment and blind faith :)
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