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superhero--imagines · 4 years

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Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here!

A/N: If I had to give this part a title, I would title it “(Y/N) and their human friends” Also I lied. This part was too long so it might be another part (or two) before we get to the Bella Arc.

* “You know you would be pretty good looking without the glasses.” Lauren says twirling a strand of hair and ignoring the algebra worksheet in front of her.

* Yeah that’s kind of the whole point

* “Contacts kind of freak me out.”

* You’re expecting a snarky response but instead she nods.

* “It’s the whole sticking your finger in your eye thing right, I totally get that.” She’s watching you with such inquisitive eyes, it almost you uncomfortable.

* It’s been a few months since you started school, you’re almost at thanksgiving break. So far you feel like you’ve assimilated well, and you have a good balance between school and caring for your animals, but it’s situations like this that totally throw you off.

* “Hey (Y/N/N), what did you get for number 5?” Jessica asks, you’re thankful for the distraction.

* “I got X = 8” Jessica confirms she got that too, and moves onto the next one

* You three are in the worlds most unlikely group. You didn’t even know Lauren was in this class you usually just pair up with Jessica.

* “Hey, me and a some people from the volleyball team are going to Port Angeles, you should come with, we could give you a makeover.”

*You wonder what the other angle here is

* It didn’t take long for you to realise that somehow, even with the ugly-duckling routine, the Cullen’s were at the top of the social hierarchy.

* Part of their popularity was probably because they didn’t really seem to interact with anyone outside of their own social circle. Which just made them all the more desirable.

* “I don’t know Lauren, I would have to ask Esme if it’s okay.” Though you can already bet Rosalie isn’t going to like this.

* “Oh cool, just let me know!” Lauren smiles, it turns out the act of considering her invitation was enough to placate her.

* For once you’re actually glad Edward’s waiting for you outside of your class when the bell rings.

* “Edward read that girls mind.”

* “It’s always straight to business isn’t it. No, ‘hi Edward how’s it going?’ Or ‘How was your class, how has your morning been treating you?’ It wouldn’t hurt you to make some small talk” You give him a look, and he returns it with an expectant expression. You sigh.

* “Hi, Edward how was your class?” You plaster on a smile, and he returns with a smile of his own.

* “It was fine. A little repetitive, we’re reading “to kill a mocking bird” in English.” You nod, offering a consoling pat on the shoulder

* “That sounds super boring,” the books great and all, but you’re guessing he’s already read it like 30 times by now. “Hey Edward,”

* “Yes (Y/N),” He nods, hiding his grin behind his hand.

* “Would you mind doing me a favor?”

* “Of course, anything for you.” He grins openly now.

* “Would you mind telling me what that girl Lauren Mallory is thinking so I can know why she invited me,” and not Jessica her good friend. “to hang out?”

* Edward loses his smile.

* “The varsity members on the volleyball team suggested it, they think it’s a shame they couldn’t have got you on the team since you just moved here.”

* Unexpected but not the worst. You’ve really been half assing it in PE so you’re surprised they even want you.

* “Lauren-she thinks you could be-“ a lopsided smirk twitches onto his face. “in her words- ‘two super good looking best friends’ “

*oh. So she just wants a pretty b*tch squad?

* “Maybe I’ll go with them then” you were scared they were going to force you to show them the Cullen’s house and introduce you to everyone, or leave you stranded in port A as some kind of prank or something.

* Edward stops you

*“you can’t be serious” he has his eyebrows scrunched together

* “Why not?” Nothing more natural to fitting in then hanging out with your classmates. Unless- “if you’re worried about any accidents don’t, I know they all look healthy but they eat a lot of carbs. Way too starchy for my palette.”

* “It’s not that-“ he gets that brooding-existence is suffering look. “You shouldn’t trust humans too much, they’ll let you down.”

* Well what’s that supposed to mean, but before you can ask he’s already walking to his class.

* Well whatever, at least Emmett will tell you a good joke to take your mind off of Mr. Eternal Damnations ominous words.

* Too bad when you get inside he’s not here, instead Mike Newton perks up when you walk into the room.

* “Hey Eleazar, how’s it going?” You still have a hard time adjusting to use Eleazar’s name as your own. Apparently they came from a time when last names were only for nobles, so he offered you his first name instead.

* “Hey Newton, any plans for this weekend?” You take Edward’s advice and start with small talk. Mike Newton smiles, you guess he’s kinda cute, all soft cheeks and baby blue eyes

* “No I’m completely free!” Weird how he’s so enthusiastic about being alone, he must be one of those “relish time alone” types. Good for him.

* “Everyone needs some time alone sometimes.” He deflates, oh man you guess that’s the wrong thing to say.

* He looks like he wants to say something to you, but then Emmett sits beside you.

* “Can I have a swig from your water bottle?” You hand it over

* “Making out with Rosalie make you thirsty?” Emmett cracks a grin

* “It’s that whole bookworm-soccer mom get up, it gets to me yknow?” That’s actually pretty funny

* “So what she’s the Velma to your Freddy?” When the reference doesn’t sink in you rephrase “the nerd to your jock.” He grins again.

* “I think I might join the swim team just so I can see her wear my letterman” that’s actually pretty cute

* “You should do that, I’ll cheer you on at your swim meets” Emmett grins.

*”I’ll hold you to that”

* School life goes on like it always has.

* Weeks pass, marked by tests, homework assignments and projects.

* You actually kind of become friends with Angela, Lauren, Jessica, Connor and Mike.

* “So like, are you and Cullen close?” Mike asks. You and the group are over at Tyler’s house using his fire pit to roast marshmallows. The others are invested in another conversation but you can tell by Lauren’s subtle head tilt that she’s eavesdropping.

* “Which one?” Mike gets flustered at that

* “The one in our grade.”

* “Hmm, well I’d say Alice and I are kinda close, but-“

* “N-no not her,” he clears his throat. “The other one-Edward”

* “Oh, Edward’s my best friend.” The answer slips out automatically.

* “I-Is that why you’re staying with the Cullen’s?” Jessica asks. Everyone’s blatantly listening now, the only one who seems uncomfortable is Angela.

* You sigh. You know everyone at school is probably wondering about the weird relationship. Jessica’s just the only one brave enough to ask you.

* “I mean, it might be.” You’re sure, Edward’s friendship with you is the reason everyone was so quick to accept the living arrangement. “But I actually met Car-I mean Dr. Cullen before I met the others.”

* “How does that work?” It’s Connor who pipes in this time.

* “Well-“ you sigh you really don’t want to do this but at least your sob story will make you seem less suspicious. “So Eleazer and Carmen, they’re my parents, but they’re not my birth parents.”

* You tell them how your parents passed away in an accident many years ago, and how Carlisle had been your Doctor at the time while you recovered. He worked with you for a long time, and you’re pretty sure he wanted to adopt you, but the agency liked Carmen and Eleazer better, probably because Carlisle already had so many adopted kids.

* “Still, Carlisle stayed in my life as my doctor and a family friend. Then I met Edward and the rest of the Cullen’s and... the rest is history...I guess.” You’ve found it’s best to mix a little bit of truth into the lie, though really all of that was mostly what happened.

* Everyone looks testy eyed, Angela is holding back tears, and Lauren hastily wipes her away so no one can see. You wonder if maybe your powers leaked out a bit while you were telling your story.

* “Dude... you’re so strong.” Tyler claps a hand on your shoulder and pulls you into a hug.

* “Ah, it all happened a long time ago, I’m mostly over it now” You tell them all about your Coven in Denali, and how you have two families now, how you don’t regret anything. Well, the only thing you regret, is not staying human, but you can’t mention that so you fake a smile instead.

* Connor breaks out a bottle of vodka he stole from his mom, and pours a shot for everyone

* “To (Y/N)” everyone raises their glass, and not for the first time you feel the urge to cry but no tears escape you.

* You’re a lot closer to everyone after that. You even start sitting at their lunch table every so often.

* In fact the others follow your lead and assimilate with their classmates with ease. Rosalie joins the school book club, and very loudly debates Jane Austen’s to whoever will listen.

* Emmett follows through and joins the swim team. Jasper starts hanging out with some wood shop kids, you’ve caught him arguing about the superior wood in between classes with his new friends. Even Alice joins the art club.

* You try out for the dance/cheer team, it’s the only thing you don’t have to hold back in. Also you’re a great base, you could hold everyone on the team up single handedly during stunts. But you won’t know if you made it until summer vacation

* Everyone seems to be assimilating well, everyone except for Edward

* “You can’t expect me to trust these people (Y/N), not when I know everything they’re really thinking.” You roll your eyes

* “I’m not saying you have to be their best friend Eddie, I’m just saying it looks super suspicious that all the Cullen’s only hang out with each other and refuse to get to know anyone else.” You shove a text book into his chest, and he scoffs

* “It wouldn’t hurt to make some small talk.”

* And so Edward joins your group of human friends, much to the joy of your female companions and dismay of your male ones.

* Life is still strange. But it’s good.

* When you’re surrounded by your new friends, it makes you feel - almost like you’re human again

* And then everything falls apart.

* It’s almost summer vacation. You’re excited, maybe you can go to the beach again soon, and you wonder if it will be alright to take a trip to Denali to see your Coven. You’re pretty confident you made the spirit squad so you’ll have to pencil in camp somewhere. You held back, but just enough by your own parameters to make the bottom end of Varsity.

* You’re at your locker, when Rosalie, and Edward show up. Quickly followed by Emmett, Jasper and Alice.

* “Oh hey guys, you wanna go on a hike tomorrow it’s supposed-“

* “You have to leave.” You’re surprised when it’s Emmett that says this. Kind, jovial Emmett holds a grave expression.

* “What, why-“ for a second you wonder if the Volturi has finally come to get you. It’s been at least seven years since your transformation, it’s about time they started thinking about you.

* But then you notice everyone staring, the quiet buzz of phones vibrating only detected by your super hearing. People are always staring, especially when you’re all together. but this time you notice they’re not staring at the six super models gathered in front of the lockers.

* They’re staring at you.

* “There’s a video of you going around,” Jasper says, and Rosalie placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I think it’s better if you see for yourself.”

* He hands you his blackberry, and the grainy image of you come into focus.

* It’s a YouTube video

* You’re in the locker room, your (Your Color Skin) in full view under the fluorescent lights. You’re wearing your underwear, and your abs are on full display. You’re Grey PE uniform shirt is limp in your hands, you remember this, you got extra laps as a penalty and as a result, you were running late for class, you were alone in the locker room

*well you thought you were alone.

* Your body is literally perfect, the way you’ve always dreamed, but you feel white hot shame rise in your throat like acid.

* Your hands shake as you scroll down to see the comments

* ‘Damn who knew they had a body like that under those dorky sweaters’

* ‘(Y/N) Eleazar: Best body Forks HS 10/10 would f*ck’

* ‘Hot body, if only they ditched the glasses, and started wearing some tighter shirts’

* And the comments go on, there’s at least a hundred. You hold your cardigan a little closer to your body. You don’t have the courage to turn around. You can already imagine them staring at you, picturing what they saw in the video transposed onto your body

* “I’m sorry, I didn’t see this coming until it was already happening-“ Alice touches your shoulder and continues her apology but you don’t hear anything.

* You want to cry, you want to be angry. But all you feel is shame. And the worst part is, you didn’t even do anything wrong. So why do you feel so ashamed?

* “Hey, look at me.” Edward grabs your face in his hands, your amber eyes meet his.

*”Snap out of it.”

* Oh, your powers are leaking through.

*Your gaze turns to your foster family, all of whom sport equally uncomfortable expressions.

* You take a deep breath, and imagine reeling in your emotions, imagining them receding back into a locked box, just like Eleazer taught you.

* You need a calm mind right now.

* “Are you fine now?” Edward asks, his hands still on your face. You nod, resting your hand on top of his

* “I’m good.”

* “Good, because we have to get you out of here.” He’s moved his hand to your arm, about to tug you back home when you pull back and shake your head.

* “We can’t do that.”

* “What do you mean?” Rosalie hisses, her hand curls around your wrist “we have to leave NOW.”

* “No think about it, they’re right.” Jasper says, his eyes meeting yours. At least someone’s on the same oage

* “Think about it Rose, if I leave now with all of you it’s going to look weird.” Normal 15-17 year olds wouldn’t think to handle the situation on their own, especially not entitled rich kids like the Cullen’s.

*She seems to have gotten it because her hand retreats to her side.

* “Well what should we do then, I’m not letting you walk around here with everyone-“ she cuts herself off, a deep frown creasing onto her face as her teeth dig into her bottoms lip.

* “We need to call Carlisle or Esme, they’ll pretend they saw the video from someone else and file a complaint with the school.” You take a deep breath, and imagine the locked box in your mind. Your emotions held carefully within.

* “Until then we all need to pretend like it’s not a big deal.”

* “No way in hell am I doing that!” Emmett growls. “I’m going to rip that fucking peeping Tom piece by piece.”

* “Not all of us need to pretend,” Alice says, her gaze somewhere far away, flicking between futures. “Only Edward, Rosalie and I do.” Her gaze lands on you.

* “You need to go to your class like normal,” a hint of a smile curls onto her mouth. “Everything’s going to work out fine.” Edward’s focusing on Alice, reliving her vision.

* “Do you think you can manage being alone?” Edward asks, you don’t have the next class with any of the Cullen’s. You’ll be on your own.

* You catch Jasper and Alice whispering to each other, but pay it no mind. Flirting even in the middle of your entire world crumbling down.

* You take a deep breath, picturing the locked box over and over, making it a visual mantra.

* “I can get through a period.” Everyone disperses, and Jasper walks you to your next class. Edward wanted to, but Jasper insisted.

*”You’re always hogging them, give someone else a few minutes Edward.”

* You’re almost near your class when Jasper talks to you.

* “Hey, I don’t know if I should tell you this”

*You wonder if he’s going to offer to beat up the person who took the video, or if he’s going to offer you a comforting word.

* “Alice told me you’re going to raise some hell on a misogynist in there” he gives you a wicked grin, his incisors sparkling.

* How is it that every vampire seems to say what you least expect to hear and yet, it’s exactly what you need in the moment.

* He holds out his fist, and you bump it with your own. A grin curling onto your face.

* “Hell yeah I am.”

* You take your usual seat in Spanish like normal. You sit in the front row in this class, diagonally from Jessica. Mike and Angela sit somewhere in the back.

* You just need to focus and keep your emotions in check for 45 minutes. You visualize the box, calming yourself separating the mind and body.

* How did the saying go... a calm soul resides in a calm body?

* “-Zar, Miss. Eleazar!” Your eyes pop up to the teacher, the locked box falling out of grasp.

* “Yes, sorry?” The teacher sighs, you look to the white board to see you’re going over the answers to the worksheet. You’re about to provide the answer for the number you’re on when the teacher cuts you off.

* “I know you might be focused on body building, but in my class you need to focus on the material.” There’s a scattered laugh that fills the room, but your blood runs cold

* “Excuse me?”

* And that’s when your teacher knew he fucked up. He stutters over himself, the sentences overlapping

* “-really you should take it as a compliment-“

* “Oh you think I should take it as a compliment that someone recorded me without my consent while I was changing?”

* The rooms pin drop silent. Your teacher is sweating.

* “Hold on now- I think you’re being a little dramatic don’t you think” A smirk curls onto his lips. “You were in your underwear, it was really no different than wearing a swimsuit” he’s got this smug smile, like he’s right.

*Honestly you were ready to put everything behind you and move on if he just apologized. It’s gross that a teacher is watching videos of a student changing, but what would you have done in his situation if a co-worker showed you.

* “It’s all about perspective, a positive per-“

* But not anymore, you’re not in a forgiving mood, especially not for an idiot like this.

* “No it’s all about consent.” All the anger and despair you’ve been holding back comes flooding out. “When someone wears a swimsuit they’re consenting to show skin and be seen, but I wasn’t contesting to being seen when I was changing in the privacy of the locker room.” You don’t stop for air, your voice trembling

* “And another thing, I wonder how the school administration will feel knowing the same faculty that’s supposed to make students feel safe and enrich their lives is watching creepy videos-“ you stop when you meet your teachers eyes, tears streaming down his face.

* Oh f*ck

* You look to your right, finding your classmates in a similar state, holding back tears.

*So this is what happens to humans when they come in contact with your power.

* You try to visualize the box, but it’s too far now. And all the crying people around you don’t help.

*You need to get out of here.

* “Pathetic, not even an apology for your gas lighting.” She shake your head as confidently as you can, grabbing your bag with trembling hands.

* You walk quickly, maybe there’s a mountain you can climb and wait it out on. You’ll text Carlisle and let him now what happened. It shouldn’t be too-

*” Hey wait!”

* You’re already in the hallway when someone call out to you. You turn, expecting it to be Angela or Mike. Never in a million years would you expect her to be standing there in the middle of the hall, her hand hastily wiping away a stray tear.

* “Mr. Peterson’s a f*cking jerk.” Jessica sniffles, walking quickly to catch up with you. You don’t miss the fact that her bags not slung across her back.

* She must have left a minute after you did. You haven’t thought about her as a friend. Not a real one at least. She’s kind of like hot sauce, it’s fun when it’s around, but if it’s not then that’s not a big deal.

* So to see her here, the first to follow you out, rambling about wether you want to get frozen yogurt or pizza, it warms your unbeating heart.

* “Hey Jessica?” She stops mid-sentence, her eyes swinging up to you.

* You haven’t been fair to her. But you’re going to change that.

* “Thanks for being my friend.” And she smiles at you, her arms wrapped around her tight. It’s not the fake ones you see often the ones she throws to Lauren when she’s asking for Jessica’s opinion on an outfit, or when Connor tries to copy her homework’s. it’s a genuine smile.

* Before she can open her mouth, you hear two more shouts from the hallway.

*Angela and Mike are jogging down the hallway to catch up with you. The latter carrying a bright pink backpack in his hand.

* “Geez Jess, the least you could do is take your bag before you go bolting out of there” Mike’s panting as he holds out her bag. You don’t miss the blush ghosting her face.

*Looks like she still has a crush on him.

* “Hey, are you okay?” Angela asks, and you wish you could cry as you nod.

* “Is it weird that I’m kind of happy right now?” And the three of them smile, before wrapping you into a group hug.

*They all smell terrible. Jessica smells like boiled broccoli, Mike is like the overwhelming stench of fat mixed with sugar, and Angela.. Angela’s probably the worst. She’s sickeningly sweet mixed with a healthy dose of starch.

*it’s disgusting. You have a hard time believing any of the Cullen’s would lose their minds when they’re this close to any of them.

*still, even with the repulsive stench, it’s nice. You haven’t felt the body gets of another human in a long time, or heard the quiet thump of their beating heart. Even the odor is nice, it reminds you that they’re human.

*And for a second it’s easier to pretend you’re human too, just like them.

* “Dude why are you so cold?” Jessica groans, breaking the moment. She taps your arm but doesn’t pull away.

* “While we’re asking questions, Mike how much axe do you use?” Angela’s eyes are watering as you both laugh.

* “Like you’re one to talk, I can smell your strawberry shampoo two hallways over!”

* You watch the three of them untangle and start walking to the back exit from the gym.

* “So where do we go now? We can’t stay here.” Angela says

* “I was thinking maybe a coffee shop, if we take out books we might pass for having a free period” Jessica pipes in

* “Oh, how about the Arcade? A buddy of mine works there since he’s already on break from college, I don’t think he’ll minds us hanging out there.”

* So this is what Alice meant when she said everything was going to be okay.

*Your Human Friends were going to save you

*You haven’t forgotten Edward’s warning, someone did break your trust and let you down.

* But that’s what it means to build friendships, you open yourself to being hurt, and so do they.

* “Hey (Y/N/N), what do you think?” Mike asks, and they all turn around to notice you’re not walking with them.

*You try not to smile to wide. You don’t want to scare them off now.

* “I think there’s something fun about an arcade during the day, no lines.” You say, walking a little bit faster to catch up with your friends.

Tag list: @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show

#twilight imagines #twilight reader insert #twilight headcanon #twilight imagine #twilight saga #twilight #Edward Cullen #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen imagine #Emmett cullen #Emmett cullen x Rosalie hale #rosalie hale #Jasper hale x Alice cullen #Edward Cullen x y/n #Edward Cullen x you #midnight sun #superhero—imagines

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imonthinice · 3 years

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The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 20/?

Word Count: 2.2k

Author’s Note: Y/N - your name

***IMPORTANT*** The Criminal Psychology majors will be taking a temporary hiatus as I’m getting my second dose of the vaccine today<3 I don’t know when I’ll be coming back because I don’t want to burn myself out on this series just to give content while I’m gone, yknow

Warnings: Swearing, Forgetfulness, No beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

They danced and sung the night away at the Gala. It ended at around 2:00am and everyone went back to the Wayne Manor.

Somehow it came out that they should play Uno of all things. Uno is known for being the “Friendship Ruiner” or the “Relationship Ruiner” of the world. So, of course, they played it. Why wouldn't they?

Y/N dealt the cards. She was not quick about it. At all. She really struggled to deal the cards to the entire group, but she still tried. It was the thought that counted. Or at least she thought it did.

But no one seemed to mind she was a little slower with her cards-dealing. Which was different to the up-beat, face-paced life all of them lead. One would have expected that they would want a crazy fast dealer, but no one cared.

They played well into the night, with Jason ending up tapping-out and laying in Y/N’s lap. She played with his hair and leaned down to show him the good cards she got, at least until he fell asleep. She spent the time bonding with his family.

They had always liked her. From the first time they all met her, they knew she was going to be something real. They were even impressed that Jason and her hadn’t fought yet. They were both hot-headed when they wanted to be, so when it was obvious that they put the relationship ahead of their own prides, it was something else.

They knew of the first time they had one of these moments. Y/N was at a dance competition, but Jason had to dip because of “Family Issues”, she was upset. Of course, she wanted him there and it looked like they were going to get into a huge spat about it. But, when she won that competition, she got up there and she said,

“This one is for my family, my friends, the extension of my family,” she paused, “And my boyfriend, Jason.” She smiled, “He isn’t here right now because of family issues, but he told me to follow my dreams, and here I am,” she said while raising her medal slightly, “This one was for you, baby.”

And that’s when his family knew that pride was stupid to them. Relationships are growing, changing together. And while they both stayed hot-headed, they changed that slight detail in themselves to be better partners. It was admirable.

Y/N ended up winning the last game. Half of the Waynes were sleeping, either at the coffee table where they were playing or in their rooms. She glanced over to the clock, 6:00am. She knew her parents were getting up soon, so she texted her mom,

Hey mum! So do you still want Jay and I to come over for the barbeque?

And she nudged him a little. Everyone else had left the room, so she was trying to wake him up. So they could go to his room. He groaned.

“Baby, do you want to sleep in your bed?” she whisper-asked him, leaning down to his ear and stroking his hair. He groaned and got up, started walking to his room. She followed suit. He was on his bed and passed out before she even got up there.

She laughed and walked over to him, fumbling with his suit jacket. He mumbled something about taking him on a date first, and she laughed again.

“C’mon, work with me here, you’re going to be uncomfortable if you sleep in your suit, my love.”

He groaned and took off his jacket before unbuttoning his shirt, while she got his belt undone.

“God, take me on a date first,” he mumbled.

“Shh,” she said, placing a finger over his lips, “Just go to bed, Jay.”

He sloppily kissed her neck before she cupped his face and used her position to straddle him to the bed. She kissed his forehead before getting off of him and going through his clothes. She needed something, a shirt, pants, anything she could wear.

She fumbled with getting her own dress and gloves off, ending up throwing the dress over his desk chair, hoping it would minimize wrinkling. She undid her corset and threw it on his desk. Her heels were sitting at his desk chair. The gloves on his desk.

She crawled into bed with him, being the big spoon, burying her face behind his neck. She pulled out her phone to look at her texts. One from Artemis,

Hey, dude. That dress, oh my God?

She laughed into Jason’s shoulder and sent back, I know. I know. I know. I killed it. You can’t say I didn’t.

You’re literally so right because again, oh my God. You did NOT need to wipe the floor with the rest of the guests. I mean, Selina was there and you were on her level.

That’s impressive. Selina is stunning. But I’d argue I was just below every Wayne lady.

Well, eventually you’ll be a Wayne lady.

C’mon. It’s been 6 months.

You say that like the thought hasn’t crossed your mind at least once.

Yeah, but I don’t talk to anyone about it.

You should start talking about it. Most people think about their weddings.

Okay, anyway. Why are you up so early?

I was studying most of the night with Wally.

Ah, “Studying”. Nice.

I wish! No, we were actually studying. Not like you and Jay at your little Gala. Actually had to study.

I have to study too, but exams are like next week.

Wish I could relate. Mine are today.

And you didn’t sleep? Dude.

Shh, you’re not my mom.

She laughed and fell asleep cuddling Jason. Her phone was opened, so it died.

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Jason woke up first. Looking at the time, it was 12:00pm. Y/N was sleeping behind him, still loosely holding him. He smiled. He hoped that the night before had fixed some of the issues between them. Well, he hoped there was no issues.

He didn’t want work to be more stressful than it already was. But, they were having issues. He thought it was because of finals, but he feared there was more to it. Maybe it was the fact that he’s famous. Maybe it was the fact that she couldn’t handle the fame. He hoped it wasn’t anything to do with the fame.

But the comment about the people with daggers at her throat obviously wasn't about anyone else. It was the press. He knew she had issues with the press. He always would. She always would. He wouldn’t blame her if she walked away from him because of the press. Break up or a break, she was allowed to give up because of the press. He hoped she didn’t. He hoped she never would. He didn’t want to jinx them, but he really, really, hoped that this wouldn’t end in flames.

He looked at her. He remembered the first moment he knew he loved her. They were having dinner at this hole-in-the-wall restaurant that he had seen on patrol one night. She was scarfing down the food, and he wiped away the mess on her face with his thumb. He knew then. He knew in that moment that that was it. She was it.

He was whipped and he knew it. But every time his siblings or dad brought it up, he mentioned current or past relationships they had. The only people who weren’t whipped in the Wayne household were the women.

Or maybe the all were, they were just good at hiding it. He turned around and cuddled her back He stroked her hair. He ran his fingers through her hair.

She did it to him a lot. Physical affection was something that he was used to at this point. He still didn’t know how to feel about it, but he had ended up letting Dick hug him more often. He didn’t say it was because of her, because she didn’t outright run up to him expecting hugs, she was okay with hand holding and small touches of affection. It wasn’t because of her that he started letting people in.

But he did think she was a turning point for him. For his affection. His love style. She gave a damn about him and made it clear. It wasn’t like love he was used to, but it also opened his mind to people trying to love him.

She shifted around a bit. She ended up turning her back to Jason so he became the big spoon, and he buried his face in her hair. She groaned and tugged at the blanket on his bed, pulling it onto the two of them. He helped her get it on them. She groaned again.

“You up?” he whispered.

“No... I’m in deep sleep,” she said with a slur to her speech.

“My mistake, really.”

“It is.”

He pulled her closer, “Can you wake up?”

“No.”

“That’s sad. I wanted to talk.”

“You can talk.”

“Okay so,” he said, “I realised something. Some people would say you’re changing me, that I’m becoming someone else because of you,” he paused, “I’d have to disagree. You’re not doing anything.”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re just inspiring me to do better. You influence me. You don’t intentionally go in and change me, I change because I love you.”

“That’s nice honey.”

“You could pretend you’re interested in what I have to say, my love.”

“I’m tired, Jay.”

“I danced you to Hell, I guess.”

She groaned, “I guess I can’t go back to bed, now,” she flexed her wrist, “You’ve interrupted my sleep.”

He cuddled in closer to her, “I am not sorry.”

“Of course you’re not, why would you be?” she said while she turned to face him, “You just want to see me.”

“Damn, you got me.”

She yawned, “We need to study eventually.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“I just did.”

“School’s annoying. It’s on every last never but also none of them. It’s stressful but I also met you from it. It’s something I excel at but also causes me pain.”

“I know, babe. I know,” she said as she searched for her phone, finding it, dead and under her leg. “Fuck, killed my phone.”

“Where did you even have that all night?”

“Dress has pockets. But I didn’t bring my charger,” she sighed. “I had texted my mum too.”

“Texted your mom about what?”

“She wants us to go to a family barbeque after exams.”

“That’s so suburban of your family.”

“Yet they live in a massive city. I guess you'll see my family? you like them, don't you?” she asked.

He had met her family in January of that year. He got along with her mom and dad, in spite of the language barrier between him and her dad. There was difficulty understanding each other, but they got along in their love for rock music. It warmed Y/N’s heart.

Her mom liked him just because he made her happy. They didn’t really need to get along, but they did. They both cooked, and her mom had dragged him into helping her when Y/N was watching figure skating with her dad. Apparently they hit it off.

“I have literally no idea,” he said.

“How do you not know?”

“Your sister has something off about her.”

“You know, that’s fair. I don’t blame you for that one.”

“Yeah, have you noticed she’s very... obsessed with vigilantes?”

“And you thought I was obsessed,” she joked, “Yeah, she takes it a little too far. The whole, “I want to marry a vigilante to infiltrate and kill them” thing was obviously a joke, but I feel like there was some truth to it. That scares me.”

“Thank God I’m not the only one.”

“If you don’t like her, don’t worry about it. i don’t care if you like her. We’ve had a difficult relationship all or lives. If you can be civil, it’s a win.”

“Did you have an ex openly hate your sister?”

“Yep. And he’s an ex for a reason.”

“That’s fair. I would hate it if someone openly hated one of my siblings.”

“Unless it’s Dami.”

“Unless it’s Dami, that’s very true.”

“Still don’t know what you have against that kid, he’s very sweet.”

“That’s what he wants you to think.”

“Well, then its working.”

“What a master manipulator,” he laughed. “It’s the principle of the matter, Y/N.”

“It’s the principle of the matter, Y/N,” she mocked.

“Okay listen,” he laughed, “It is. He’s a menace.”

“But you love him.”

“It’s unfortunate. He's my brother, but he is also whatever. I don’t know. He’s amazing, he’s a genius, but who knows. Maybe one day we won’t fight all the time.”

“Imaging hoping you don’t fight with your sibling.”

“Family issues, amirite?”

She groaned and got over him, “Where are you going?” he asked.

“Fuck, I don’t know. Just need to get up, to be fair.”

“Coffee?”

“Eh, probably not.”

“That’s new.”

“You betcha. I don’t feel the affects of caffeine withdrawal yet.” She looked at her dress, it was wrinkled. Which was whatever. She knew it was going to happen. She went searching for all her stuff and put it on his desk. It was spread all out over his room, she didn’t know how it happened.

“How did your shit end up everywhere?” he asked.

“Probably the same way that all your shit ended up everywhere? I have no idea.”

“What, did we fuck?”

“No!” she laughed, “Do you not remember?”

“Days are blurring together, so.”

“Well that’s not... normal?”

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killyourrdarlingss · 3 years

Text

*A LOT OF CYBERPUNK SPOILERS BUT THIS IS TO EXPLAIN MY STANCE ON THE GAME SINCE I'M REBLOGGING STUFF, I would appreciate the read since yes, this game is not perfect.

Okay so while people see me reblogging stuff from cyberpunk, let's get some things clear:

The homophobia was disgusting especially for a game that was "so advanced!!" Like no I see through this also gross that there was a lot of biphobia too! (Looking at the interaction with River DIRECTLY.)

Not to mention the endings where your s/o (mainly in this case m/m) breaks up with the MC. I only played male V with Kerry so anyone let me know if it gets worse I guess (?) But there was no need for it. It could have been left out, worded differently, V could have had ANY other lines besides an argument just... no.

Uhh this game was not as woke as it thought it was. As in, a lot of stuff... predictable. I felt kind of bummed by the end when I just kept going "Yeah.. ok. Cool. Next thing. Take down corporation's... of course..." just. God. Someone told me this was 8 years in the making?? Fuck.

Also the character dying stuff got old. So. Fast. A great way to make you never get attached to characters is to have them DIE everytime you meet a new one? Yeah. Bad writing. Jackie I can understand and I hated it. I absolutely despised him dying but Takemura (yes I know you can save him but I only learnt this AFTER the fact 10 hours later.) It made me not care about anyone ! (Evelyn, Placide, Maiko... etc.)

So now we have the romance options, I played male V, I romanced Kerry and holy shit I actually liked him? His missions were fun, it was ridiculous, soft, the /boat/, Dang everything I loved and then.. I do the ending and get broken up with...

Fucking/what/.

Next up is Johnny!

What happened to the story here... like. Listen.. I loved Johnny, probably the best character but the cop out ending of "you only have 6 months to live, oops its because the pills!! Or let Johnny take over :)" after V gets their life figured out ?? Absolutely made me want to just turn the game off. In every ending, it's that... you'd think it would change depending. But no.

In conclusion, they needed more work on this. They needed more love for the m/m character relationship. They needed so much backstory for Johnny that we didn't get, V was HORRIBLY stale and two directional, either hate Johnny or love him. We needed backstory for V besides 20 minutes of "this is how you met Jackie." Like, no this isn't right this is just bad writing.

The main story is basically only 4 MAIN missions if you think about it, and if I hadn't done any sidequests, it would have been worse than it was already.

All I can do now is give my official rating like I did with far cry 5, I'll put it at the end after my ending analysis.

Basically my pros are here: there's a lot of good side missions and not to mention Keanu's performance is also very good. (Although I wished they fixed his audio because it was super low.) I just really wanted more out of this game yknow!! is it the worst game ever? No Vampyr is the worst game ever... but it did sadden me to see it so hyped up, and I'm sitting here not struck by anything, for 8 years I expected so much more, graphics wise, performance wise, and especially writing wise too.

Also no, I'm not going to comment on glitches in this game because frankly I couldn't care less about a car or motorcycle spinning in circles, at least that was amusing.

PLEASE DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME ON THIS POST, THIS IS MY OPINION AND I'VE STATED MY RATING AND REASONS WHY IT'S SO.

Below is my ranking of the top three endings and my overall rating of the game. Suicide will be mentioned so you've been warned.

After doing every ending:

The three endings I'll be talking about are Temperance, Suicide and Sun.

Johnny's is the best in terms of "I liked this one actually, this makes sense."

(Everyone kinda is mad, at the end of this one. There's maybe a few characters who don't care and some who take it more personally.)

Suicide ending has a pretty cutscene with V and Johnny beforehand where they talk about everything that's happened, so I guess it's my second favorite for that, gives a LOT of emotions.

(Everyone is pissed at you if you choose this ending, Panam screams at you, everyone thinks you suck says you're selfish/a coward... which I find unfair? But oh well.)

Sun is middle ground. You get to stay with your S/O, I don't have many notes on this besides its the best... okayish ending of the two others.

(If you romance Kerry or River you stay with them, female romance options will leave you. People at the end are mostly sad you're super busy and want you to come home.)

SO, LET'S TALK ABOUT THESE ENDINGS IN TERMS OF THE STORY:

In terms of story, Johnny's is the best in terms of making sense to the story, Suicide is the best for both V and Johnny having a heart to heart before it's all over, Sun is the best for wanting to ignore the problems and just live on-- ex. Basically to write fix it fics off it it.

So, best endings ranked by me!

#1. Temperance: Johnny takes over and lives out Vs life, memorializes V by placing the necklace of the bullet at the cemetery with all their friends who have passed along the journey, then he leaves night city. Best ending in my opinion and really makes the game just, good.

"I couldn't forget you, even if I wanted to, V."

/that line made me tear up, thank you Keanu;;

#2. Suicide: Sadly I just thought it fit even though everyone is pissed. Yes we go through everyone calling you sad and or angry to a point that's... honestly not normal. (Panams screaming really freaked me out LOL) But yeah. V throwing the pills off the roof, leaning back and just going

"How much more bloodshed does there need to be over me Johnny? I'm tired."

REALLY got me... okay? Yeah it's a good ending and whatever I liked it.

#3. The Sun: the secret ending where you infiltrate the tower as Johnny with Rogue, and Johnny forces V to keep his body. You choose as Johnny. This ending is basically, the middle ground. Being able to stay with your S/O (if you romanced either of the two male options) and them not being mad at you is one of the nicest things about it. You become the legend of the afterlife you're the boss now ! Woo-hoo! I could care less-- lmao. But it's an okay ending and isn't as bad as the other two.

Wrap-up, for real this time, and game rating:

So there you have it, i gave cyberpunk 2077 47h10m of my time, and I give it a 2.5/5. Buy it whenever it's on sale, have fun with some of the quests and Keanu Reaves but I dont think it's worth it at the moment, they still have A LOT to fix.

Anyway hopefully since we heard notes on a potential DLC, maybe they'll fix things then. Anyway, see ya guys later and this is my explanation about my cyberpunk stuff !!

If you got this far, thank you a lot and you'll see me posting!

#gothiespeaks #spoilers #i wanted to make a post explaining my views on this game... i really didn't want to let slide a lot of issues and just reblog stuff.#anyway please read lol #long post #gothie plays video games

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3mmafr0st · 4 years

Text

Hard to Hate Chapter 14

Fred Weasley x Reader Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: the usual, if you’ve seen the rest of the series you’ll know!

Taglist: @intpeach, @aria-dne, @allthebestmenarefictional, @i-should-be-writing-my-own-fic, @weasleytwinswheezes, @a-disappointing-teen-author, @amorist-3, @222moonss, @carmiml0v3, @lilypad-55449, @losers-club6, @hpbitch, @ohwelliguess, More in the Reblog. Ask me if you want to be added to the tag list!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 15,

Read the Russian translation Here

The next few weeks were tough on me, with the already intense stress of trying to remember all of the work we had been doing before the break, and the drama of what had happened.

Draco was mad at me, upset for leaving, as well as whatever Pansy had been whispering in his ear throughout the month. He hadn’t talked to me since christmas and I hate to say it but I missed him. Even though he was quite brainwashed and could be a little shit, I loved him, he was like a little brother to me.

On top of that, Pansy and her gaggle of bitches were harrassing me whenever they could. Ever since they found my room, the fear that I struck in most of the Slytherin house had all but dwindled. At least before they moved out of my way, but now they just look down on me and I hated it. It felt worse than being feared.

Finally there was Fred. Funny, endearing, and absolutely beautiful Fred. Ever since he and the other Weasley’s returned to the school, he has been cold, distant. It was as if the last few months had never happened, that we had never become friends in the first place. George was still talking to me though. That was my only saving grace.

George and I had decided on the library to hang out that day. Melody didn’t want to study that day, instead opting to hang out with Lee by the lake on a date of sorts.

“I honestly have no clue what’s going on with Fred, but I’m worried.” George told me, his voice nervous.

“Has he been the same with you, he won’t even speak to me.”

“He won’t talk to me about anything, but he’s definitely upset about something. This is the first time that he’s never not told me about what’s going on in his head and I don’t like it.”

“Do you think that he’s really upset with me, I don’t know what I could have done.” I was upset to say the least. I missed Fred so much and yet he wouldn’t even give me the time of day. It was agonizing. I liked him so much, maybe even loved, and yet he pushed me away.

George and I stayed and studied for a while, until the time came where we were to go to our next class, Potions, which we all had together. This was going to be difficult to say the least.

When George and I walked into the classroom, Fred was already there, sitting with Angelina Johnson. George was irritated to say the least, and since I knew Melody would be sitting with Lee, I offered him a seat next to me. I glanced at Fred, and he seemed to be even more grumpy than when we had first walked in. Snape began his lecture, his droaning and nasally voice going on and on. I should be paying attention to the work that we were supposed to be doing, on the lecture at hand. Instead, I was glancing at Fred out of the corner of my eye.

Angelina and Fred were sitting together, laughing and whispering together. I felt something, simmering in the pit of my stomach. I had no idea what the feeling was, but it made me want to tear Angelina apart. I didn’t even know why, I like Angelina! She’s nice and witty and good at quidditch, and well, basically everything I was but better. She was the perfect version of me, one with no baggage, no psychotic family members or racist family history. Who wouldn’t pick her? The burning feeling soon turned to sadness, this lump in my throat that only got worse and worse. George looked at me, and saw as tears began to well in my eyes, fighting to keep them from falling, I couldnt let the other students see me like this, it would push me even farther down the chain of respect and I couldnt have that. George raised his hand, and was called on.

“Professor, Y/N’s not feeling good, do you think I could walk her back to her common room.”

Snape thought for a moment, clearly trying to weigh his biases in his head, before allowing it. As quickly as he could, George walked me out of the classroom, trying to get me a good enough distance from the classroom before my legs gave out under me against the wall, tears falling down my face.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

“I don’t know, just, Angelina, the two of them, ugh, I feel so pathetic.” I laughed at myself through my tears. “I mean, who would even think I have a chance next to her.” George looked me straight in the eyes, both of us on the floor now, putting his hand on my shoulder to try and reassure me.

“Y/N, if he can’t see that you’re the absolute perfect girl for him, then he’s either blind, or just plain stupid, knowing my brother, its probably a bit of both.” His joke made me laugh, and he handed me a tissue from his pocket.

“Thanks, I just feel so hopeless, yknow? Like, the two of you, and Mel are the only good things right now, and even that's been ruined.”

“Believe me Y/N, I get it more than you know.” His eyes looked far away, kind of wistful and longing.

“So who’s the girl?”

“If I say, it's only going to make it worse.” I thought through all of the different clues, before coming to the most logical explanation.

“Its Angelina, isnt it?” I folded my hands in front of my chest giving him a knowing look.

“Yeah,” He said. “Now I know that you think I’m just saying that because I want her all for myself, don’t you?” I silently nodded, tears starting to prick at my eyes again.

“Well, that’s not true, I’m being serious. If he’s not going to man up, then he must be an idiot.” I didn’t believe him in the slightest, but I pretended to. “Come on, let's head to lunch early, I dont think you want the others seeing you like this when they leave.”

The two of us headed to the cafeteria, simply working on homework at our respective tables, until the rest of the students began pouring into the large hall. I saw Melody walk in, sitting down next to me.

“You feeling better?”

“Honestly, Mels, it's not that kinda sick. It’s just, Fred, yknow?” She silently nodded. She knew all of the events that had happened, or lackthereof. Although she knew about it, she wasnt as involved as George, I mean, she had her own things to do and I understood.

George was sitting close to me, in a way, our backs to eachother, so Mel and Lee could continue their conversation from Potions. I heard heavy, angry footsteps behind me, and I took a peek as to who it was. Fred was angry, but for what reason I couldnt understand. I could hear the conversation from behind me.

“George, can we talk outside for a moment.” His voice was trying to mask his rage.

“Fine” George responded, and Fred walked the two of them outside of the cafeteria.

I tried to stay out of it, I tried to sit there, and eat and talk to Lee and Mel as if nothing had happened, but after 5 minutes, the curiosity got the better of me. What if Fred was finally saying something as to why he was so distant, ignoring me for so long. It was a miserable experience and I just had to know why.

I told Melody that I was going to the bathroom, and then ran off, looking for the two boys.

I walked down the hall, searching around for them, when I heard yelling, two voices that I knew so well. I looked around for a moment, before finding a door that I had never seen in this hallway before. I put my ear up to the door. The voices were muffled, but I could sort of make out what the boys were saying.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Fred, am I not allowed to have friends?”

“You and I both know that it's not just friends.”

“I’m not lying, it’s not my fault that you’ve been being an asshole and pushing us away!” The yells were immediately silenced, replaced with the sounds of skin coming in contact with skin, yelps of pain and growls of anger.

“Alohamora” The lock quickly undid, and I pushed the door open as fast as I could. Fred had wrestled George on the ground, punching him into the floor, as George was trying as hard as possible to gain the upper hand. I quickly wracked my brain for something to separate the two without putting myself at risk before finding the perfect incantation “Relashio!”

The two looked at me, then looked at each other, trying to go at it again, but I quickly cast the Colloshoo hex, sticking both boys’ feet firmly on the ground.

“You too are unbelievable, you know that? You are brothers for Merlin’s sake, what the hell has gotten into you?” George began to speak but I cut him off, I was too angry to listen. “Fred, you need to check yourself this instant, your behavior in the last month has not been that of a friend. Friends are supposed to be kind to each other, supposed to support each other, talk to each other at the very least! Once you’re ready to explain yourself, I'll be in the astronomy tower. George, if he tries anything like that again, you sure as hell better tell me.”

“Can you at least let us go?” George asked, as I opened the door of the mystery room.

“It’ll wear off in an hour, you two need to talk through some things.” I shut the door behind me. I was angry, confused, and upset, all of those emotions culminating in the only way that my body could understand, once again tears began to run down my face. Luckily classes had ended early today, because if not, I would have had to go to a History of Magic looking like this mess. The only thing that I could do was go to the astronomy tower, and hope that Fred had gotten over himself enough to come and talk to me, explain why all of a sudden he was acting like this.

#fred weasley #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley imagine #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley smut #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #Harry Potter fic #Harry Potter Smut #Hard to hate series

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leescoresbies · 5 years

Note

my friend, please rank alex's outfits

ANON IT’S LIKE I ASKED FOR THIS. alex owns a great collection of jackets & little boots & he wears them with the strangest combination of shirts that i’ve ever seen & i think about it constantly. which is why i spent twenty minutes making this list instead of getting ready for work. so, enjoy. these are entirely objective and without scientific rigor, mostly because i have bad taste & tyler blackburn would look good wearing a poncho which makes this all much harder.

here are 10 alex manes outfits of note that deserve to be commented on, you’re welcome:

1. inaccurate pilot episode uniform

listen the united states military can go fuck itself with a rusty pike and that’s important to say HOWEVER this is a top-tier alex look and it’s worth admiring. maybe it’s the expression or the definitely not regulation facial hair. someone let alex grow some facial hair next season. 8/10, for the propagandism and also the fact they forgot or didn’t realize he’s supposed to be a captain. congrats on your speedy promotion alex!

2. reunion sad lumberjack getup

i know people like this outfit but i’m going to come out and say that i am firmly negative about it. great scene, bad outfit. this is like alex’s straight-person uniform, hair included. the only redeeming detail is the color, considering we know rosa always told liz to wear red as armor and it’s plausible alex might be following her advice here too. 3/10 for the sad nostalgia only. also michael’s getup in this scene is a fave. not related but worth mentioning.

3. wearing a sweatshirt to your ex-something’s dramatic love confession

listen - nothing really to say here. i’m not thinking about what alex is wearing in this scene. neither is michael. are you? the only benefit of this outfit is that it is, apparently, very easy to take off in a real hurry. 5/10.

+ a bonus

arm. that’s all i got. not strictly an outfit but who’s gonna fine me. you? 10000/10

4. drive-through break-up outfit

i’m insane about alex’s thought processes here. for some reason his 5-step seducing-michael-guerin plan includes donning this pink paisley (????!??!) button-up with pearl buttons (!!!????!?!?) and hoping for the best. make sure he can’t miss you because you’re wearing pink paisley, extend beer like an olive branch, hop up onto his tailgate like you belong there - profit. maybe he just really hates the shirt and is hoping it’ll get sacrificed when michael tears all the buttons off it later. the jacket is cute though. 7/10 for the sheer gumption involved. want to go for a ride, indeed.

5. everything in ‘smells like teen spirit’

i could spend this whole post talking about everything teenaged alex wears but then we’ll be here for a month so i’ll just pick a few to highlight. it had its ups and downs, but yknow - for a while i thought wearing a necklace made of paper clips was cool so i can’t throw stones.

whatever this is: -100000/10 oh honey no

prom outfit: 10/10 for the sheer iconic-ness. its silver. he gets in a fistfight in it. it singlehandedly kick-starts michael’s bisexual awakening and for that we salute the suit

alex:

michael: oh my god are you okay also i’m gonna jerk off to this later.

guitar gift giving getup: 8/10 actually my favorite thing teen alex wears. the boots, the black, the long sleeves, the HAIR, the pining. makes me want to throw caution to the winds and make out with that. shoutout to michael guerin but i’m different.

i was gonna screencap what alex wears at the museum but the thought of watching the end of this episode made me want to tear a limb off of my body so i passed that by but he’s cute as hell and i’m sad. thanks. moving on.

6. the “my old best friend is breaking into my house?” look

i love this outfit. granted i’m an outdoorsy bisexual woman with no taste but i’d wear this myself right now. alex probably wasn’t expecting to run into anybody here which means he’s putting on his rei button-downs and being gay and making coffee and going on nature walks to do deep-breathing exercises on all this property he inexplicably inhabits now in his free time. it’s very iconic of him and he looks great. forearms. 9/10.

7. mimi’s day out picnic jacket

mimi: we aren’t meant to touch things from another world.

alex “known alien fucker” manes: don’t know what you mean let’s just talk about how good my hair looks today.

he looks soft & artfully tousled to hang out with his fam. i love it. not necessarily what i’d choose to wear to a picnic but more power to ya pal. 8/10.

8. THE OUTFIT I PICKED FOR HITTIN MY DAD IN THE FACE AND ZIP TYING HIM TO A CHAIR

35 million/10 you’re doing amazing sweetie

9. caulfield outfit

this is among my favorite things alex wears. the jacket? the boots? the little backpack? he’s like a sexy gay boyscout. he’s gonna change a tire and build a campfire and dismantle a shady government conspiracy and smirk at you all in one day and you’re going to like it. he’s prepared for anything. he was not probably prepared to blow up a building of imprisoned senior citizens or to discover his brother is working in an extralegal military prison or to realize he’s prepared to die alongside michael but - hey. you can’t win them all. 10/10 a great outfit to meet your boyfriend’s mom in.

10. season finale

HE’S ABOUT TO GET HIS HEART BROKEN BUT HEY HE LOOKS SPECTACULAR EAT YOUR DAMN HEART OUT MICHAEL GUERIN. 15/10, a great thing to be wearing when you discover your dad’s in a medically induced coma. i hate this show.

clearly i left MANY THINGS OUT including everything he’s wearing when he gets all I LOVED YOU in michael’s face but i couldn’t make myself watch that scene without drinking rocket fuel and blasting into the stratosphere so - this will have to do. you’re welcome.

#Anonymous #anon #asks #alex manes #memories are films about ghosts #i'm bleeding i'm not just making conversation #now i am going to go lie down

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anon-e-has-a-tmblr · 4 years

Text

Ten Niche Interests

Got tagged by my good ole friend @chaotic-archaeologist and I figured it's time to expose my guts yet again. So here we go!

Tanks - what not to love about them? Were invented during the great war, the tanks were firstly designed to be a fort on wheels. Only during WW2 they were used as an independed tactical unit. They still have many flaws, like the odd design of putting the driver right inside the engine, but I guess in the future their design will change. After all, in about 100 years we went from a metal box that houses 23 people to a small and fast moving gun with 3 people.

Ruins - the main reason why I went to archeology and not history. Those fallen stones and mortar have a story to tell, if you only listen carefully. And a skeleton will only make it that much more facinating.

Knitting - funny or not, I was taught how to knit yamacas when I was 16 by my classmates. Its didn't really work out that well for me, so I started to use this new skill to knit puppets. I dont know, I just find the knit (Badam tss). Sadly, last time I touched my knittìng box was when I was still in military service way back when.

Video games - self explanatory. I own several games on Epic Games and Steam, as well as some games for PS1 (yknow, the small grey sony consule from the 90s). Right now I play Old Worlds and Heroes & Generals, and I look forward to start playing civilisations 6.

History - well, technically anything since the beginning of mankind (i.e. the aystralopitecus and their robust friends) and until the WW2 era. What happened afterwards less interest me as I have my parents and grandparents brag about it constantly, and I don't have any desire to look at present times. The eras that are the most interesting to me are the entire iron age (10th-6th century BC, not the european Iron Age which is technically the persian and early helenistoc era but let's not get into that debate alright xD) and the early to middle bronze age, technically till the invention of beer and tea manners in the Levant (2nd millenia BC).

Militaria - anything army and combat. Swords, flame throwers, boots, pins - everything and all. It's facinating to see how military disiplince and traditions have changed throughout the years, from a gang of men with clubs to an elite alpenist unit with night vision goggles and thermal clothes. Just like anything above, it tells the story of a nation. One great example is the Viena's 44 infantry devision that was erased in stalingrad (I dont remember if they were infantry or motorized, it was a while since I've encountered them).

Pins - this is a personal thing. I started collecting pins I find when I was in highschool 8 years ago. My first pin was a tank corp signal company pin that I found in a road-guide camp. The camp hosts Tank crews and is located right next to a tank corp memorial center so it's logical a pin of a tank corp would end up there in the dirt. My collection doesn't have only military pins though, most of the pins I have there are from Loot Crate and places I've visited XD.

Backbacks - gIvE mE mOrE bAgS well in all seriousness, my bags and backpacks collection is the oldest collection I have. I collect them since I'm 10, along-side a plastic bags collection I now use as trash bags and other carrying options. The collection also has some old wallets my mom and I used, as well as 2 wallets that belonged to my grandfather. I might use one of them soon, since the wallet I have now is wearing off. I also have shoulder bags (including one I use right now) and my old school supply bags, as well as old blanket bags and cloth shopping bags.

Art - well that's not news to anyone. I do arts. I learned how to draw from a classmate when I was 16, before that I drew stick figures and cyclamens. I mainly draw scenaries and men, as drawing the female figues brings me the feel of cringe and the will to jump of a cliff (dysphoria amiright). I started drawing animals, however because of Current Year(TM) I didn't have the chance to practice on that. The few arts I actually posted are at @anon-e-also-draws and my ko-fi, as well as my pinterest (shameless plug, I know XD also if you know me since before this blog, you may have seen the arts already).

Vehicles - this is a new-old interest that comes back to me. When I was really young I was always facinated by cars and motor bikes, and after years of doing other things I start to see the glory I saw in those deadly machines. I wqs thinking for the past 6 months about maybe restoring a car in the future. Not now though, as I don't possess the almighty driver's license xD

I could keep going on and on but it got so long, so I will stop here. Tagging : @kova-sonic @ts-sideblog @theboredbaptist @rose-in-a-fisted-glove @the-greenhouse-mind and whoever else who wants to do it. Please do it in a seperated post though, so it doesnt get too long.

I wish yall a great time of the day

#tag game #know the blogger #ten niche interests #i hope i got it right?

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svtskneecaps · 4 years

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1~33 :b

babe i don’t deserve you

1. How long have you been stanning SEVENTEEN?

just over 2 years, I think, I remember wandering around carat tumblr towards the end of 2017

2. How did you start stanning SEVENTEEN?

ok, so i used to be active on this wattpad-esque website and a mutual made a fic about them that i read, despite knowing nothing about them. later that summer me and my little sister were wandering around on youtube at our grandparents house, where i saw Don’t Wanna Cry on the homepage and, recognizing the band from the fic, i clicked. then we watched Boom Boom, and then i looped that mother heckin video for the next six hours

3. First impression of SEVENTEEN?

oh god, it’s been so long idk if i remember quite right. i think i thought they were a bunch of talented nerds tbh; even back then i remember being really impressed by the choreography

4. How long did it take to memorize names and faces?

well i wasn’t working on it constantly, just sort of whenever posts ran across my tumblr dash, but i’d say by the end of about a month i had most of them down consistently

5. Bias(es)?

ok i don’t bias, but most consistently, i’ve leaned towards the8, more recently jeonghan started whacking at my attention, and recently but not MOST recently, jun was getting my goat, but it really depends on what video i watched last (like i watched the camping thing recently and jeonghan and hoshi searching for bugs + jeonghan getting all flustered when the members were talking about how he said he loved their team really got me)

and watching the call call call video gets me swinging worse than a compass that can’t find north so ??? it changes; i love them all but if i went off listing everything i loved we’d have a 13+ paragraph essay and that defeats the point of the question

6. Biaswrecker(s)?

no biases so no biaswreckers, n e r d s

7. Which member first caught your eye?

woozi, actually; i thought he looked good and was neat, and i saw the whole ‘woozi coming at you with a guitar’ and loved it, and then minghao got the black mullet and it was ALL OVER FOR ME

8. Which member did not turn out who you expected him to be?

oh boy. maybe jun? he looked really like yknow strong and silent type? and then he’s this sweet lil flirty dork and idk i love him

9. First song heard by SEVENTEEN?

it was don’t listen in secret actually, i think, there was an audio post of it ‘playing in another room’ but i didn’t realize that was what it was or that it was seventeen until a while after i started stanning.

10. First MV seen by SEVENTEEN?

don’t wanna cry! but the first one that reeeeeally got me was boom boom. wonwoo with the mint hair convinced me to learn their names and it was all downhill from there (have i mentioned recently that mint is my kryptonite?)

11. Vocal, Hip Hop, or Performance Team?

i love them all,,,, but performance team

12. Have you had any dreams about SEVENTEEN?

i have, actually, but i don’t remember it right now. i just remember they were in it. dreams suck like that.

13. What concept would you like to see SEVENTEEN try?

i honestly don’t know. they keep coming up with amazing stuff and i just drink it all in. (if they did another call call call esque concept though THERE WOULD BE NO COMPLAINTS FROM ME)

14. What hair color would you want to see on a certain member?

MINT. ON ANYONE. LITERALLY ANYONE. OR PURPLE, I WOULD BE DOWN FOR MORE GRAPE MEMBERS.

15. Which members do you think look better with their hair up?

if you mean like ‘hidden’, i don’t know. honestly i think they all look great no matter what, hair hidden or not.

16. Have you seen SEVENTEEN live?

.....nope :( i live in nebraska so they aren’t coming close enough for me to be able to see them unless i took a weekend trip to do it, and honestly concerts stress me out a little, so. maybe someday?

17. Which member do you think is the most “boyfriend material”?

oh god. maybe jun. maybe mingyu. maybe jeonghan. maybe s.coups. honestly i never really thought about it. i think they’d all be good tbh (WHEN THEY DATE Y’ALL BETTER KEEP IT TOGETHER IF I SEE A SINGLE PERSON SAYING THEY’RE UNSTANNING, HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL)

18. If every member were hanging off a cliff, who would you save first?

i plead the fifth on that one my dude

19. Which member do you think is the most savage?

minghao has some good zingers tbh

Favorite…

20. song?

atm i’m listening to fear, call call call is my go to hype song, and smile flower makes me cry (in the best way)

21. choreography?

god just anything i mean really their choreography is absolutely breathtaking and THEY’RE ALL IN SYNC but like ig the fluidity of Home really gets me like when the chorus starts going and they all knock into that footwork idk if i’m describing this right but that. just. chef’s kiss. the good shit.

22. era?

i’m still not 100% about what ‘era’ refers to in its entirety, but CALL CALL CALL

23. song cover?

honestly i haven’t listened to many covers so i can’t talk

24. Unit?

booseoksoon

25. OTP?

ot13 just their friendship as a group like i absolutely adore it

26. reality show?

i don’t know if going seventeen counts. but going seventeen.

27. performance?

i don’t watch a lot of performances bc i am Fake Fan but the one i’ve seen the most, in all honesty, is the Pretty U performance that i slapped mariah carey’s all i want for christmas is you on top of

28. meme?

Which member would you like to…

29. have as your brother?

vernon could honestly already be my cousin (WHERE DID THE FUCKING NEBRASKA SWEATSHIRT COME FROM VERNON) so him

30. have as your best friend?

hoshi or like seungkwan are definitely like lit bestie material, or like

31. go to school with?

wonwoo just cause he reminds me of a friend of mine a lil, or maybe jeonghan? just bc of the vibes i get idk why

32. have as your boyfriend?

i feel like dk would be like an amazing so; i’ve never thought about like who i personally would have so idk honestly

33. have as your husband?

hm. i never really thought about it. i guess maybe like joshua?

alright @allmyuwuswerestolen YOUR TURN i spent MANY A LOT OF HOURS trying to figure out the last 5, MY BAD

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keensers · 4 years

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ALL THE EVEN QUESTIONS!!! And any process questions!!! Ok goodnight

hello j!!!!! this is many questions but i will skip the ones i did already (all from here)

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

right now in star wars land, quinlan vos and also every single clone. i love the clones. also, i love writing everyone in the obi wan-anakin-ahsoka chaos lineage. i love writing banter, and that lineage is banter all the way down. at least, in the post-empire world, where imo anakin and obi-wan are back to being ahsoka’s super annoying brothers, except they’re ghosts, so she can’t even fight them to make them go away.

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

generally yes, at least with fanfic. most of the time when i write fanfic it’s because i desperately want to see how those characters behave with a particular narrative or with different situational constraints, or i have a worldbuilding idea i think is really cool. so i love reading fic where other people do that work so i don’t have to! especially with worldbuilding, there are fics where i’m absolutely just in awe of what the authors have managed to do, whether it’s a shift in one aspect of the characters that has a kind of domino effect on every single relationship they have and every action they take, or whether it’s a new, slightly off-tilt universe that they’ve built from the ground up and populated with brilliant new versions of the same people. i write a lot of canon-divergence-by-intervening-circumstances, so i’m a big believer in this, and i love reading it. other writers are much, much better at it than me.

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

i think this is a process question! i am a longfic writer because I have a hard time saying anything in less than 1000 words, and i’m mostly a plotter, if by “plotting” you mean “vividly hallucinating focal point scenes and stumbling through figuring out what happens between them to get from one to the next, with occasional flashes of insight or inspiration.” i wish i was a better plotter than i am… which is part of why i'm trying to really hash out a lot of the details of atr4 in an attempt to exert some semblance of control over the story.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

scream into a pillow + frantically type 2000 words in one day + lie awake in bed thinking about the next scene + do nothing for a week or a month + get hit over the head with how much this fic/concept means to me personally + start typing again + type 500-1000 words every day for two weeks + repeat until done or abandoned

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

hm… only insofar as “famous” means “impactful,” “good,” or “makes a lot of people feel things.” so i guess no, not inherently.

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

at the beginning, and then again at the end! because the one i start off with is always wrong by the time i finish…

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

well, for the last 8 months i've been in star wars hell because i got so mad at tros that i wanted some actually-good star wars content so i watched all of tcw and just wildly, wildly overprojected onto obi-wan “exhausted but tenacious” kenobi. (i wonder why??? no i don’t.) then i had a great many Thoughts about how to link the prequel trilogy/tcw with the sequel trilogy, which has resulted in me seriously contemplating writing 300k+ of one ‘verse, which i have never ever done. i think the longest thing i've ever written was 75k, and that was orig fic. so my “new thing i'm trying” is plotting out 10+ stories in the same ‘verse and then actually writing them… or at least trying to.

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

sometimes! really old stuff feels like someone else wrote it, which is very strange. but, yknow, sometimes you read through the entire body of work that exists on ao3 for what you want to read about, and you lace up your clown shoes and go read your own damn fic.

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

i think it has, and i definitely hope it has. i think i used to overdescribe and maybe now i underdescribe, which isn’t good either, but i do feel like i've gotten better at plotting and at character arcs that make sense and, generally, at getting a handle on characters’ behavior. also, high school me wrote in a very flowery yet rudderless kind of way, and i think now i have a better sense of both direction and show-don’t-tell.

#fic meme #YAY!!!!!!#now it's time to spend 10 days doing nothing except reading legal textbooks #marnz

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leatherbookmarking · 4 years

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OK SO WELCOME 2 GUSU LIVEBLOGGIN because i reblogged but didn’t comment, like a little worm,

(from ch1)

1. lxc listening to (i assume) mainsteam radio warms my heart to no end

2. god!!! i’ve been sitting in the same place since i was born, essentially, but the feeling of returning to a beloved place!!! is v nicely shown here.... dreamy sigh i went to one (1) summer camp (? trip? who knows) and hated it 65% of the time but let’s blame that on me being 11 and not entirely into the concept of “rich kids in a catholic school” concept (lmao guess what junior high i went to 2 years later) BUT based on this into alone (and quarantine yearnings) i would 100% abandon everything and fuck off to gusu at any given moment

3. lan zhan is so protective of gusu hhhgggggg i am soft like tapioca pearls

4. i am soft like overcooked tapioca pearls... the way camp elders act with lwj is so ughhhh and “zhanzhan” ZHANZHAN!!! MOM I DIE

5. (through tears) WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN FEEDING HIM, XICHEN

6. (while vibrating) family dynamicsssssss

7. “Wen Qing unceremoniously shoving Huaisang over to be able to sit next to Wangji“ i love a girl

8. loving how lwj chooses not to ask re: mysterious new staff member when he’s still in the car with xichen, yknow? so he can react to it in peace and privacy, and then, as everyone’s like, oh you KNOW, considering who’s joining us this year! (lwj internally: who) oh don’t you know yet! (lwj internally: WHO. WHO!!!) wouldn’t you like to know!!!

9. wei ‘of course i am not experiencing any negative emotions, what are you talking about, i am SMILING, see? happy!” wuxian strikes BACK oh how i love this stupid boy

10. i vaguely remember you saying something something i don’t want to write serious stuff, they’re xianxia characters in a summer camp setting!, and then i was like OH HO BUT BY ALL MEANS, and then you did, and then i’m like :’’’’’’’’’’’’) it’s fine.jpeg hurt me!! hurt me with sixteen years old boys on a summer camp!!!

11. back 2 the present and xichen once again wins the mvp title. “alright, here’s the thing--”

12. ALRIGHT, HERE’S THE THING

13. baby

14. “Xichen,” he repeats, almost desperately, but everyone else clearly sees the opportunity to leave this particular situation“ SITUATIONAL COMEDY AT ITS FINEST!!!!

15. absolutely in love w/ how everyone takes one (1) look at lwj and decides ha! this sounds like a he problem! bye!!!

16. even xichen

17. ESPECIALLY XICHEN!!!

18. MIANMIAN MIANMIAN MIANMIAN being tiny!!! hugging lan zhan!!! i love you!!!

19. “you’re the one getting shorter” okay ao MAYBE my heart burst in my chest from sheer tenderness, but also maybe it DIDN’T. can you prove it? thought so!!!

20. tapioca update: it didn’t go well. however! if you ever need wallpaper glue,

21. picturing jc wrangling nhs fills me with so much joy also

22. GOD!!! wwx standing on top of the stairs!!! time stopping!!! ‘oh no he’s hot’!!!! LAN ZHAN YOU GAY DISASTER

23. lan zhan: Processes how hot wwx has gotten

wwx: STILL THE DEATH GLARE HUH :’D

Do I Have To Say Anything

24. “Wei Wuxian tries to match his death glare, a very valiant attempt for someone with a face as animated as him, and gives up about three seconds later, bursting into laughter“

CUTE!!!!!!!

25. THE EXODUS!!! AH THE DRAMATIC EXODUS!!!!! i am a BIG slut for “ugh you HAD to come back and LIGHT A FIRE IN MY CHEST AGAIN, you ASSHOLE >:/” moments, the SLUT LEVEL in me overshadows jin guangshan’s, i am QUEEN SLUT for moments like those B L E S S

in which we move onwards to ch2. will i embarrass myself further with excessive exclamation marks? let’s find out!!!!

26. “wow. you’re doing such a good job selling me this“ i was already in heart eyes over the bros but this line just!!! lol

27. IS LAN ZHAN GOING TO BE THERE

28. [DRAFT]!!!!!!!!!

29. lan xichen is having at least as much fun as i have with this situation, and i love it

30. but he does have the courtesy to look ashamed

31. from time to time :-)

32. but not always :-)

33. lan “brother i love you but you and wei wuxian should be KISSING as we speak so don’t you ‘you didn’t’ me :>” xichen

34. “do you remember how many rules he broke” you sure it’s just the RULES, my boy

35. i’m honestly, honestly really loving lxc here. like yes the two main idiots are delightful but... zewu-jun.... cute....

36. “all the other things his head is suggesting he do“ SNORT is “sit on the floor and sulk about wei wuxian daring to exist, and like this” one of them gfkhgfsk

37. “surely there’s no way in hell xichen would“ xichen, as soon as wangji went to his cabin: please. please. PLEASE

38. the part about crown shyness is tiny but so pretty. i feel severely lacking in summer camp tree trivia now

39. “And then Wangji sees him, and all rational thought promptly abandons him for dead“ wangxian summed up in one sentence (jk)

40. SO UH IS HE SINGLE i wholeheartedly enjoy wwx being Whacked

41. “when Wei Wuxian recalls the people who used to, and still should be, standing by his side, he only meets with a dismissive ‘Long story’ from his brother, and a somewhat nervous ‘I’ll tell you later’ from Nie Huaisang” oh? oh?? oh??? OH?????

42. oh yeah i forgot 2 mention before but lwj playing the guitar makes me feel... things... like yeah string instruments BUT guqin is so fancy and dignified, meanwhile guitar is... somehow... i mean of course lwj is a pro and makes everyone swoon playing the easiest chords but the THING is guitar is such a friend-shaped instrument... i need to lie down hold up

43. A NING A NING A NING A NINGGGGGGGG THE BOY IS HERE!!! making wwx almost inhale his harmonica no less! king of powerful entrances, truly

44. “what really happened to Nie Huaisang’s older brother, who was once ride-or-die for both Gusu and Lan Xichen (he got a job very far abroad, that’s all Wen Ning knows, and Wei Wuxian promises himself he’s going to pour some alcohol into Huaisang eventually to make him spill the beans)“ vibrates, at the speed of a hummingbird’s wings

45. the grass scene is wonderful 2 me for two reasons: one, WWX PLAYING A BLADE OF GRASS. i just watched a yt vid in which a dude does make it actually play, which is amazing, but my experience consists mostly of emitting one PTWEEEEET and making everyone almost jump out of their skins. good times! two, the contrast between this scene and the one in ep2... cql: wuji.mp3, slowmo, passionate gazes, wtg: wwx torturing a blade of grass, STILL making lwj (wayward) come to him. true love!!! truly true love!!!

46. yells @ wwx’s cute habit still being present

47. the following scenes are too gentle and sweet for me to formulate coherent thoughts.... i’m just sitting here, chihanding, sighing dreamily, thank you, bless

48. “Lan Zhan he once knew is still in there“ ah, sensei, sorry, i won’t be submitting my thesis this year.... i need at least six months to cope with this sentence... ご迷惑をかけて申し訳ございません

49. BABY WANGXIANS bonding over rabbits... lan zhan looking almost proud when wwx mentions his big brother...

50. “WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT SUMMER, YOU AND I” OI!!! WEI WUXIAN!!! WEI YING!!! is it legal to be so (gestures) CUTE at the tender age of nine??? hm???

#liveblogging #rolls into a ball wraps legs around neck (only a picture of my emotional state i can't do this in real life)

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lookwhatilost · 5 years

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if i had to tell u one thing abt how my parents see me that rly Says As Much As It Needs To, they tell me constantly that they planned me down to the month i was born

24 seems like an old age to be stuck on rebellion against one’s parents. and it absolutely is. i should have gotten it out of my system a long time ago, but circumstance never really allowed. everything had to be planned. they had their plans for me, very strict ones, and if i were to say “no”, then i’d best be equipped w an alternative one. there’s no room for indecision, or confusion. life is not a predictable thing, and i’m not always a predictable person, but if you want to please them, these are things you have to pretend not to be aware of. there’s no room for exploration, or actually taking time to think. you have to constantly be moving from one goal post to the next. that’s how this is. you always have to have an answer to the question “what will you do?”

there isn’t a “now” with people like them. only a “next”

they bought me merch shit from lehigh university from the time i was 5 or 6 years old. there are pics of me in the family photo album of me in my first grade cheerleading garb, and in one of them, i’m wearing a pint-sized lehigh sweatshirt over my actual uniform. when i got a little older, like end of middle school, i told them i wanted to go to college in boston and they both replied w a confused “i thought you wanted to go to lehigh” kinda response. but i remember thinking back then, yknow, i never could recall expressing any organic interest in that. jst sort of resigning to it. “okay, i guess that’s what i’m supposed to do”

they wanted me to be a chemical engineer. isn’t that hilarious?

to bulk up my college application, they railroaded me into a bunch of extracurriculars that i didn’t wanna participate in. forced to swim competitively since i was 8, i had grown so weary of it by the time i’d reached high school. i told them i was tired, that i didn’t want to do it anymore. they said “well if you’re not going to swim, then what are you going to do?” and i didn’t have an answer, but they wouldn’t accept “nothing” as an answer. so i kept doing it even though i didn’t want to. disobedience to them could be met w violence and it wasn’t frequent, but frequent enough that i was always worrying abt it. so i did what they said even if it was making me unhappy

my grades suffered progressively each time we’d move, and when bullying rly ratcheted up in middle school, it sort of bled into this lifelong pattern of personal distress rendering me completely non-functional. i was always a good test taker, but it was hard for me to do any classwork outside of that, bc all i was capable of focusing on was how depressed and lonely i felt. i’d go to my sports practices after school, and come home jst. completely burnt out. rinse and repeat

joke’s on them when i dropped out of high school, i guess. that beefy college application was never sent out to any actual colleges. “well if you’re not going to finish high school, then what are you going to do?” and i didn’t have an answer, but they wouldn’t accept “nothing” as an answer, so i got my equivalency and enrolled in community college. but i was still in the same predicament from personal stress being entirely consuming. i had a rly toxic dynamic w my ex boyfriend (and some of the people who have been following me for a rly long time may remember when i was in the thick of this) who was constantly tasking me w cleaning up the messes he got into through his addiction and general irresponsibility. and then he would dump me for the umpteenth time. or cheat on me. or do something else stupid, and i tolerated it bc he was half of my support system and i couldn’t lose that. it got so stressful and i ended up attempting to k*ll m*self several times, and had to withdraw from school bc i’d missed so much when i was in residential psychiatric treatment

“well if you’re not going to community college, then what are you going to do?” and i didn’t have an answer, but they wouldn’t accept “nothing” as an answer. so i went to cosmetology school and sunk 5 years of my life into an atrocious and thankless industry. i guess i have to hand it to myself. i’ve never stuck w anything for so long, but i never rly cared for any of it. it was easy. and a lot of people in it are really stupid, and it’s easy to excel above people like that. but i never liked it that much. i guess it’s unfair to say i never had my moments. i did have my moments where i was optimistic, where i thought my skill would carry me. i soared above my classmates and had high expectations for myself for a while... until i realized that i wasn’t rly the kind of person who succeeds in this industry. the kind of person who makes any money here is the kind of person who’s complacent enough never to question it. can i really recommend things to people in good faith when i’m aware of the ridiculous markup? can i really insist that what we’re selling is so much better than what they’re getting in the drugstore when i know you’d need a comprehensive education in biochemistry to understand a bottle of shampoo, when i know that almost every beauty school is incidentally owned by one of the companies that manufacture these professional products? can i ever feel okay about plying into people’s insecurities to upsell a ticket? can i ever reconcile that it all, at its core, goes against my ethics?

and i dnt think i can. my roommate and i were looking into moving out of state, but when he pulled back, i still wanted to follow through on the decision. but transferring my cosmetology license would have been very labor-intensive and expensive for something i was already disenchanted with. i thought about other reasons to legitimize the move, and i figured since i was on a cooking kick, maybe it’d be worth monetizing. i am very good at it. when you have a restrictive ED, and dnt want to eat processed diet food shit all day, it teaches you a lot about how to season and prepare things effectively. a lot about portioning, about measurement, about precision, about control. i have it mastered down to an art. i only wanted to look at schools in the specific place i wanted to move, and i only wanted to do a certificate program. when i mistakenly involved my parents in the decision making process, they scheduled me a tour at a more collegiate-minded school in an entirely different state bc it was “the best one” and coaxed me into applying. i did. i realized i’d made a huge mistake, that i was going down the same path that me so unhappy in a trade before. if i go about this from a “nothing” job, if i realize it’s not an environment i wanna be in... it’s not as much of a loss of time, money, expectantions. i told them. they were angry.

i sat down w my dad a few days ago. i explained to him how i felt. he tried to convince me to hold onto it, to try it, “jst one semester, it can’t hurt”. unwilling to see where i was coming from. unwilling to budge. and then he said it, that one thing, that i’m so fucking sick of hearing

“well, if you’re not going to go to culinary school, then what are you going to do?”

and i didn’t have an answer, but he wouldn’t accept “nothing” as an answer

so i said “nothing”

#blog #god's in his heaven

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sundaynightnovels · 5 years

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11/11/11

so i’ve been tagged by @kidsarentallwrite for this one, and @a-ray-of-moonshine , so i’ll be answering both here! thank you so much for thinking of me! <3 What song makes your OC go absolutely, batshit feral? okay i really don’t know the answer to this one, but hmmmm let me think . i think that zhen’s the sort to sing songs loudly and obnoxiously just to be an annoying ass and lu’d join her, and then yu(f) would be really mega pissed because she’s right in the next room trying to do some work when these two tone-deaf idiots are screeching their lungs out in the kitchen so yes, zhen & lu’s singing would make yu(f) go absolutely feral. anything they sing. i think the OTHER yu(m) would go absolutely feral when jun, being a lil piece of shit who likes to get on his nerves, sings songs about rain. because yknow, yu(m)’s name means rain. right now the song i’m thinking of is jay chou’s 听见下雨的声音 (which means, listen to the sound of rain falling) and jun would sing it whenever yu(m) tries to say something because of, yknow, the title. and then blatantly ignore whatever yu(m)’s trying to say. so yes, the two yu(s) lead very sad lives. please give them more love. (though i’d understand if you don’t, one is an Antisocial Edgelord and one is an Edgy Antisocial Lording Over Others . there’s a difference) What would your OC go on an hours long rant about given the opportunity? for shou? anything. absolutely anything. off the top of my mind, the sun (i’ve mentioned this so many times, don’t even ask), names (names have meanings to him!! why is zhen called zhen and teng called teng? why is he called shou??? a lot of them don’t share in his sentiments but he has Very Strong Feelings about it) lu is about his sad existence as a little boy who is starving on the streets. he’d say it often in the kitchen, when zhen is preparing some food. zhen would be about rising costs of living and capitalism and having to work when they’re dead and yu(f) being a loser who only wants to work and teng being a loser who can’t get any girls and about how life is meaningless and the only solace is sleep and jia would rant with her for the fun of it yu(f) would rant about zhen, yu(m) would rant about jun, teng would rant about love and loneliness and ren would run away. (yes that was a pun, if you got it please appreciate) Do your OCs have tattoos? If not, would they ever get a tattoo? Why or why not? i think i’ve answered this somewhere before??? not very sure . but yea anyway shou thinks it’s blasphemous but he would also consider one, zhen can’t be bothered, lu is a little kid WHAT ARE YOU ASKING FROM HIM teng is deathly afraid of the pain and it’s plainly obvious, jun isn’t scared of the pain but can’t be bothered either but also might already have one, you never know, yu(f) thinks it’s a waste of money, yu(m)... i feel like he might have one, not sure why. jia probably has one, some nice gorgeous insta-worthy one on her collarbone or on her back. ren probably has one but he keeps it hidden and no one knows about it. You bump into your OC on the street unexpectedly. How do you react? oh no. which one? if i catch shou in a distracted mood, i probably can get away without him yammering in my ears. if it’s zhen, i’ll probably get sued for something and she’ll try to extort something from me. probably the bubble tea in my hands, or the money in my wallet. probably. for lu he’d extort food. even if it’s in my stomach. yu(f) would be the one who bumps into me and continues marching off because she is a busy woman and ain’t got time for this. ren would probably apologise and yknow, be a normal, nice human being. yu(m) would just stare and maybe walk away, but he looks fierce so it probs looks like he’s glaring and i’ll be scared shitless. or be pissed, depends on my mood. teng would apologise a lot a lot and offer to get my things (even if i hadn’t dropped them) and be a sputtering mess because unfortunately i am Woman and he cannot deal jun would ignore probably. depending on his mood, might make some cryptic comment that’s slightly disturbing. or he’d be really charming . who knows? jia would also probably react like a normal human being. not the nicest, but normal anyway. Which vines best describe your OCs? i am a failure and i don’t really know vines If your WIP is ever adapted into another form of media, what form would you like? Film, television, comic, podcast? Any others? sitcom, probably. also considering the amount of talking they do, maybe podcast. definitely not film. there’s no plot here. maybe theatre, just for fun. What is your favourite part about writing? what are you talking about?? Is you got to have a conversation with your favourite author, what would you talk about? the only author i can think of now is rick riordan and i’d talk about how i appreciate that he’s just doing what he wants and making it fun for him and diversity and lame humour and stupid characters and all that crap Have any writing habits or quirks? don’t write enough to have some. HAHA just kidding i have many many run-on sentences but i need them for RHYTHM and BEAT and FEELING you know???? long sentences are my jam and they help create music structure in writing do NOT TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME also use oxford commas. sue me. What do you prefer: dialogue or action? stupid banter-ish dialogue. evocative atmospheric-ish contemplation and inner musings no one acts. Who is the first Writeblr you followed? Do you remember why you followed them? i really don’t know! sorry! --

1. Is there a trope you never get tired of? characters who share One brain cell. family. long rambling stories that go nowhere really bad humour yes some of these are not tropes, i am aware.

2. Who is your least favorite character in your WIP? Why? gasps!!! okay so let’s go down the list, i hate shou because he’s annoying as hell and he talks so much he himself gives 4k worth of dialogue in a single chapter, i hate zhen because she doesn’t do or admit to anything and trying to figure her out is like trying to get a worm to walk on two feet, i hate lu because he only talks about food and be a dirty lil kid, i hate ren because he is too nice and doesn’t think for himself, i hate teng because he gets easily bullied and he also talks too much for no damn reason, i hate jun because he keeps himself too deep and it’s impossible to get him to do anything serious, i hate yu(f) because she only works and literally there’s nothing to describe in her boring one bedroom can she get out of her room already, i hate yu(m) because i still don’t know him well enough after all these months, i hate jia because somehow i keep forgetting her in these tag games even though her presence is Big in the wip yup there you go. they’re all my least favourite.

3. Let’s say I’m planning to visit the setting of your WIP for a weekend. What should I take with me? What are the most important things for me to know beforehand? Which of your characters should I ask to be my guide? uh. i’d just say Don’t. don’t visit. it’s not a good thing, you can’t choose to visit anyway, you can’t take anything with you because yknow, well there’s this little chinese saying i kinda abide by for this wip and i’m lazy to type it out now but it was in my previous chinese mytho au drabble so yea also. guide????? maybe the safest might be ren, but also not really. hm. if you want an enthusiastic little puppy, choose shou. but he might talk your ears off and annoy you so you know, pick your poison 4.Beginning, middle, or end—which is the hardest for you as a writer?

middle

5. Which is more inspiring for you: music or visual art?

music!

6. Do you have any other creative interests and hobbies besides writing?

lol i have no interests okay really. hm. i used to draw a little bit but i’ve stopped, used to play piano but i’ve stopped, used to play cello but i’ve stopped. so yea, really, nothing much.

7. How close is your WIP now to what you were expecting it to be when you just started?

i’ve finished the first draft since the start of the year, which is great and i totally didn’t expect it! .... am barely into the second draft though, so that’s a bummer. you see, this is why sometimes you shouldn’t get achievements. once that one milestone is reached you just lie down there at the rest stop and never get up.

8. What are your plans for when you finish your WIP? Traditional publishing? Indie publishing? Putting it online for others to read for free?

traditional probs, because i don’t trust myself enough to do it on my own and i have little visual sensibilities so the cover would be hella ugly. also like, not even sure if traditional publishers would want my odd little plotless thing, but yknow, i like it.

9. Your MC is here. On your doorstep. Planning to spend the day with you. Oh, and they know you’re the author responsible for everything that’s going on in the story right now. Are you expecting it to be a nice conversation, or do you maybe want to run and hide? :D

thank god i consider my MC to be shou instead of zhen. oh yea he’ll have lots of questions and he’ll poke at my brains a lot and he’d be hella noisy and also he’ll be sweating a lot because of his clothes and long hair, but still thank god it’s shou for the rest of them, i’d run and hide in the bottom of the ocean.

10. Name a song that could be your villain’s personal anthem.

eh. there’s no villain. if you consider the author to be the villain though hMMM i have favourite songs but no personal anthems, sorry

11. Is there anything you would never, ever write a story about, even if you were offered a large sum of money to do so?

eh. probs something like a law drama-ish thing. too many long words and complex jargon, not my kinda thing.

>> i’ll be tagging @coffehousecreations @bookenders @aslanwrites @rktho-writes @bahay-kubo @aloonycynic @arte-muse @elliswriting @mvcreates @inkpot-dreamer @dc-writes and here are my questions (which i think are pretty interesting heh feel free to do it and tag me even if i haven’t tagged you for it!) 1) your wip is now set in percy jackson’s world (if you don’t know, it’s just a bunch of monsters from greek mythologies chasing after young kids who have powers. we’re assuming your OCs are all demigods here, so they have powers and are being chased). who would be the one flailing and crying for help? who would be the one standing in front and thinking of a solution? who would be the first one eaten and who would be the one to survive till they reach camp? 2) after barely escaping percy jackson’s world, they’re now thrown into harry potter. the dementors are everywhere. what are the bad memories that these dementors draw from your OCs? how do they react to it? (don’t worry, they’re saved before being given the kiss. somehow.) 3) they’re now plopped into the good place. who is in the good place, and who is in the bad place? (for those who don’t watch the show, well. i think this naming speaks for itself) 4) ah, bummer. some misfiling of paperwork from the higher-ups, sorry. your OCs are once again alive and kicking, but then things happen again and well, they’re in marvel and the Snap has just happened (i.e., people have suddenly disappeared into dust after an event and no one knows what happened to them). assuming individual scenarios for your OCs where each of them are the only one left in the group, how would they react and what are their coping mechanisms? 5) and then the Blip happens and everyone is back, after five years! hurray! once again, assuming individual scenarios for your OCs where each of them are the only one left in the group, and then everyone suddenly returns like nothing’s happened, how would they then react to this change of scenario? how do they adapt? 6) all is well for a while, until The Fire Nation Attacked. who runs away and hides in isolation? who joins the colonising forces? who attempts a rebellion? who concedes defeat and lets the enemies in? 7) alright, now let’s give your OCs a break. they’re back in school and it’s high school musical! which typical high school cliques are each of them in and why? 8) now we’re in deadpool and it’s time to break the 4th wall and change the focus to: the author. what kind of jokes / things do you want to include in your wip but can’t seem to, maybe because of genre restrictions or age restrictions or it just, well, doesn’t fit? (ryan reynolds would say to include it all anyway, but yknow, that’s because he has money) 9) following the ryan reynolds thread, what is the one most indulgent thing you’ve done in your writing / would do in your writing? 10) who is your favourite friends member and why? (this is important okay? to those who haven’t watched friends... i can’t really give you much of an explanation for this one and more importantly -- why??) 11) this is the end! what is the stupidest thing you’ve done in your / with regards to your writing? it can literally be anything -- a stupid spelling mistake, gaping plot hole, printing it out for a friend to read and missing a page, you can really go crazy with your answer here. okay thanks for reading this massive chunk of text and good day everyone!

#writing tag #writing tag game #tag game #writeblr #writeblr community #like all things out of season #my wip #my OCs #character tag

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