#none of this ‘training’ is even relevant to my job

[a-concert-just-for-me]

Hmm I think it’s kind of bullshit that my job wants me to do 10+ “contact hours” without paying me or at least compensating me in any other way for my wasted time

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

The Sounds of Justice (9)

Warnings: canon typical violence, cursing, non-consensual drugging, descriptions of character death, mentions and descriptions of jail, car crashes, lying, manipulation, guns, yandere themes, mafia AU, mafia Rafael Barba (trust me, he needs the warning), mentions of rape (not to the reader), and unwanted advances (nothing happens to the reader).

Chapter 9

At the top of the stairs in Gibbs’ basement, on the other side of the open door, the chill from the night air was even more noticeable.  Your boss didn’t look up from the area that he was focusing on the wooden frame of his boat but you knew that he had registered your presence.  Descending the stairs, you made your way to the opposite side of the boat to Gibbs and accepted the sandpaper that he thrust at you.

“You should be sleeping.”

“I can’t.”  You confessed after you identified where you needed to use the sandpaper.  This wasn’t your first time in your boss’ basement and it was an open invitation to any member of Gibbs’ team to visit Gibbs in his basement and talk through any problems that you were facing.  “The what-ifs keep buzzing around in my mind.  What if I hadn’t had breakfast that morning?  What if Barba’s second-in-command had gotten the dosage wrong?  Or what if he decided that Sonny and I weren’t worth the hassle of keeping us alive?  What if I hadn’t gone with Sonny to that warehouse?  What if Sonny had been hurt worse because I didn’t put together that Barba was the one we were really searching for?”

“What if you stepped off the path at the wrong time and you got hit by a bus?”  Your boss questioned without missing a beat.  “What if you fell down the stairs just now?”

The repetitive movements of your hand allowed your mind to drift back to the case and concentrate on the facts of the case while your mind absorbed what your boss was telling you. 

“I’m disappointed in myself,” you exhaled.  “I had all this training and experience from the BAU and from NCIS and I still didn’t see Barba’s betrayal coming.  I should have known better when he took an interest in me.”

Gibbs snorted sceptically, “It wasn’t just you that he deceived.”

“Yeah, I know.”  You responded.

You and your boss lapsed into a comfortable silence until you remembered something else.  “Barba’s now in a federal prison and Interpol has the relevant information.”

There was a slight displeased twitch of your boss’ lips at the mention of Interpol.  The less he had to deal with Interpol, the better.  Especially when it came to their boss, a former insurance salesman.  The dealings that he had had with them in the past were less than pleasant and Gibbs had promised himself that he would do whatever he needed to do to keep the interactions between you, Tony, Bishop, Torres, Ducky, Palmer, Abby, Ziva, and McGee to a minimum.  Gibbs was grateful for the fact that you had remembered about Rule 45 which meant that Interpol was up to date and wouldn’t be bothering his team unless there was a dire need.  Gibbs hoped that never happened.

“Rule 11?” Your boss quizzed.  His voice belied none of his thoughts.

“When the job is done, walk away.”

“Move to your right.  That panel needs more sanding.”

Meanwhile, Rafael Barba sat at a white circular table on a hard chair with his hands cuffed on top of the table after his trial in front of the Naval Court.  To no one’s surprise, he was found guilty on all accounts.  He had to give the officers in charge some credit; they were remarkably efficient and swift in dispensing justice when they learned that two of their own were impacted as a result of his actions.

Regardless of the fact that he had not been there very long, Rafael was still entitled to visits.  He tuned out the mindless chatter in the room and focused on his cuffed hands.  A shadow appeared on the tabletop and unhurriedly, he moved his gaze to the person who cast the shadow.

“I see you got my message.”

Rita Calhoun settled down opposite him, “Never thought I’d see the day when Rafael Barba sat in federal prison as a prisoner.”

Rafael cast his eyes around the spacious and poorly designed room.  He made eye contact with one of the guards and jerked his chin upwards.  The guard paled and gave the order for the room to be cleared.

When the room was empty, Rafael spoke again, “Though it is not the same as the outside world, I have a substantial amount of influence in this prison.”

Rita laid her briefcase on the table, “And I presume this is where I come in?”

Rafael inclined his head.

“Then we had better get started on your defence.  I believe the sympathetic angle would be the best bet.  You will have to assure the court that you are not a threat to society which includes you promising that you won’t seek any opportunities to take revenge on the NCIS and SVU teams that played a role in your arrest.”

Rafael was silent and a calculating gleam appeared in his green eyes that had dulled slightly from his time in prison.  While he was afforded some luxuries due to his position on the outside, nothing compared to the comforts of home.

“If the court senses that you will harm Special Agent (Surname)--”

“NO!” Barba thundered, “She is not to be harmed.  If anyone attempts to do so, they will deal with me!”  He thumped his hand on the table for added emphasis and he enjoyed the involuntary jump from Rita after his proclamation.

“The others are not to be harmed either.  I will not take the chance that (Name) might risk her life to protect one of them.”

“I’ll give the order,”  Rita promised.

“Good to hear.”  Rafael smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes, “With your assistance, I’m sure that I’ll be released very soon.”

[ihaveatheoryonthat]

At one point, I mentioned that I was torn as to which silly crossover to let myself write for my birthday. Friends in Low Places ultimately won out, but the second option was a Psychonauts crossover. This isn't the same as Power Trick, even though it draws from what I'd put together for that story-- it's an entirely different take on the concept.

If you're unfamiliar with Psychonauts 2 and don't want it spoiled via an incomplete WIP, you probably shouldn't read this one. It even starts with a spoiler, so the whole thing's going under a cut.

---

It wasn’t that the mission to retrieve Helmut’s body was going badly. It wasn’t.

It was just that his body… didn’t stay as trapped as anyone thought it would, and had been roaming, brainless, throughout the Grulovian countryside. But, hey! They didn’t need to chip through nearly as much ice as they’d expected, and Raz was getting a good clairvoyant workout in trying to track him down! There were more pros than cons, in his opinion.

He had yet to decide what category the giant ice mountain fell into. Raz had been tiny when his parents moved the family out of the country, so he would have assumed it had been there for millennia, but the locals insisted it was a new feature. That seemed relevant, somehow. A giant lake gets frozen solid, and then a couple decades later, a big chunk of ice appears? It couldn’t be coincidence. None of the nearby townspeople seemed to know how it got there, though-- just that a couple of years ago, everyone had gone to bed and found it looming over them the next morning.

Now, Razputin may have been a master of neither geometry nor geology, but he was pretty sure that was abnormal mountain behavior, and definitely worth investigation. As luck would have it, Helmut’s body had already moved on from the town, and the mountain was the next stop on it’s predetermined path, which gave Raz a perfect excuse to poke around without ignoring his mission.

When he went to leave the town, an older woman tucked [?] into his hands and told him to carry it with him as payment for safe passage.

Ominous!

He was still going.

The toughest part of the trip was the distance itself-- outside of more developed areas, the snow piled up and was difficult to traverse, though there were numerous grooves worn into the powder, suggesting he wasn’t the first to travel this direction. Not all of them went the same way, and some were deeper than others, which made Raz wonder why the locals would trek all the way out here-- if it was curiosity, tradition or psychic interference drawing them in.

One of the funny things about distance was that it minimized the destination. Slowly, the mountain grew in scale, the opaque ice glittering in the midday sun from a mile away, until it dwarfed everything else. Even at a distance, the dark tunnels leading inward were an immediate contrast against the shining, pristine surface, and in and of itself, that could so easily lure passerby.

Someone who lacked a brain in a very literal sense would stride right on in.

Fortunately, Raz was no mere passerby. He was a mildly trained psychic with a mission, and he kind of knew what he was getting himself into. He made an effort to remember the turns he was taking and thought he was doing a pretty good job… if one were to ignore the fact that he hadn’t actually found anything. Every offshoot led deeper into the tunnel system, and while it made sense that there wouldn’t be much open space inside the mountain, the halls were unnaturally consistent. There came a point where Raz found he could predict what the next set would look like because they all followed the same pattern-- all of them identical.

He was probably caught in some kind of illusion.

Raz wasn’t one to give up, but he could also recognize a lost cause, and right now, he wasn’t making any progress. He had to figure out where the [illusion] was coming from and neutralize it before continuing down this path, so he turned his back on the next fork and began retracing his steps.

To his surprise, it didn’t lead him directly out of the mountain, like a single loop would have. He had to count each repetition down, inverting the turns he’d taken, which made him realize just how far he’d wandered before the pattern registered. He wasn’t worried yet, because he knew where he was going, but it made him reconsider what was going on; maybe not an illusion or a psychic construct, but something focused on disorientation? It didn’t feel like he’d taken this much time on the way in…

He heard footsteps. He whirled around to face the branch off of the tunnel, one hand raised to his temple just in case, and crept closer, hoping he might get the drop on whatever had caused the sound. The silhouette that turned the corner was strange-- tall and disproportionate, wider as it [got lower down].

It was the tale end of a muttered, “--V?” that clued Raz in on its exact nature. He relaxed and-- since there was no point in calling out to a brainless body-- trotted over to start corralling Helmut. The upper half of the silhouette moved, distinct from the body and, now that Raz was looking, rose well above the horned hat. He would have gone on the defensive again, if not for:

“Ah, are you lost as well? Come with me, please; I’ll see you both to your destination.”

He didn’t move, but Helmut’s body did. The second person gripped its shoulder to still it for the moment and raised their free hand. Gradually, light filtered in through the ice-- crystal clear now, instead of opaque with frost, keeping the tunnels dim-- which allowed them to observe one another.

The first thing Raz noticed was that the person looked like he’d lost a fight with a psychic bear; his clothes were ratty and thin in places, but in spite of the [lacking] winter wear, he seemed largely unbothered by the cold. The second thing was that he was incredibly pale-- pale hair, pallid skin, and eyes light enough to reflect back at whoever was looking. He hesitated on the last point, because something was wrong there; while this person was looking at him straight-on, it seemed like he wasn’t seeing Raz properly. Not in the sense that he had bad eyesight, but that he just… wasn’t seeing the same reality Raz saw.

That probably had something to do with the third point of interest: the impractically thick hunk of psilirium that encircled the person’s wrist. It wasn’t the worst Raz had seen by a long shot, but it was still enough to make his eyes water when he looked directly at it. From the corner of his vision, he watched the light play off of it as the man dropped his arm; he wondered how in the world that could have happened, and how this person was going about their daily life wearing the world’s worst mood bracelet.

“Please,” The man said, his clouded eyes sweeping over Raz, “It’s not safe to travel down these tracks. I know the route well, and can lead you back to safety.”

That final word struck a chord, and Raz inclined his head. Was this who the woman in town was talking about? The [?] was meant for him, in return for guiding people out of the mountain?

The man’s shoulders relaxed and the angle of his eyes shifted. He waved Raz over with his psitanium-cuffed hand and waited for him to fall into step after him, adjusting his grip on Helmut’s shoulder to prompt the brainless body onward with them.

“You don’t dress like the locals. Did you come here to investigate Korona? If so, I would highly advise against such a course of action; the paths here are treacherous, almost like they have a mind of their own.” The person said, voice low, but still bouncing off of the icy walls and echoing into the tunnels.

Raz shook his head, and then tilted it toward Helmut’s body, “Actually, I was looking for him.”

He heard a relieved laugh, “Ah, good! Perhaps you’ll succeed where I’ve failed; no matter how I try to impress the danger upon him, he always returns here. It’s… nice to see a familiar face, but I don’t want him to put himself at risk.”

“Do you know him? Who are you?” […]

There was a long pause. “Warden. I’m the warden of this territory. It’s my duty to ensure that none come to harm under my watch.”

[…] “You’re the warden of the mountain?”

He nodded, and didn’t look back.

“Then do you know how it got here?” […]

Warden’s head turned to fix him with a blank stare. “I’m unsure what you mean by that; Mount Korona has been here as long as I can remember.”

Raz felt his brow wrinkle as he considered the impossibility of that, and then realized how it could be true. “How long have you been here?”

The look turned vaguely helpless, and the warden repeated, “As long as I can remember.”

...yeah, the psilirium definitely wasn’t doing him any favors. Raz didn’t think he could take his eyes off of Helmut’s body long enough to do anything about that-- not without running the risk of losing it to the countryside yet again-- but maybe he could come back after this mission was over... or, if not, then at least make sure he reported the person wandering around with an active psychohazard on his wrist. As they walked, he prodded gently at the man’s mind, but wasn’t surprised to find himself repelled; while the psilirium was taking a toll, Warden was in direct contact with it and still functional, which meant his psychic defenses wouldn’t be anything to sneeze at.

For just a second, Raz considered lobbing a confusion grenade, just in case that might increase the man’s lucidity, but he was pretty sure he’d get in a load of trouble for it if anyone found out.

They made it to the mouth of the cave without incident, and Warden inclined his head to Raz, gesturing for him to take over in guiding Helmut’s body. He reached over and took him by a sleeve, and then hesitated. The man was outside of the cave system for now; if he could get him to the base camp somehow, that would make removing the psilirium orders easier. Not only would it save everyone the trouble of hunting him back down, but they would have numbers on their side, and maybe even tools that would help.

Before the stranger could bid them goodbye, Raz hastily said, “You think you could help me get him-- ah-- home? He… keeps getting away from me.”

Warden blinked at him, and then shifted to consider Helmut’s body.

“I can.” He decided, tucking the psilirium-laden arm behind his back and moving the opposite hand to rest upon Helmut’s shoulder. “Lead the way; I’ll ensure that he follows the route you set.”

The trip back to the base camp wasn’t going to be an easy one; it was definitely more direct than the path Raz had picked out, hopping from town to town as he tracked Helmut’s meandering body, but even walking in a straight line, it was a substantial distance. One unexpected silver lining was that, instead of behaving as snow usually did, it parted for them as they passed through, the powdery ice freezing into place on their either side.

Raz reached out with one gloved hand and found that there was no give; it was like it had thawed and refrozen, creating a smooth, glassy texture. He didn’t know cryokinesis, and without a brain, Helmut’s body couldn’t have done that, so he looked to the last off the potential culprits; the warden stared dispassionately out at the horizon line, giving no indication that he noticed the scrutiny he’d been put under. He wasn’t actively moving the snow, but the ambient energy around him-- a psychic aura-- absently pushed outward, and was definitely the reason they could travel unhindered.

He didn’t try to make small talk as they went-- though, occasionally, Helmut’s body chimed in with one-word commentary-- and that seemed to suit the warden just as well. Every now and then, the man would glance over at him, as if to gauge where they were headed and ensure that everyone was where he’d last seen them, but he never offered any of his thoughts, either.

[…]

Belatedly, he realized that they were missing one body, and frantically scanned the area. He found who he was looking for in a matter of seconds, back turned and already on his return trip to the mountain.

“Hey! Warden!” He hollered, and didn’t even need to make up any excuses this time, “Wait up! I’m s’posed to give you something for helping us!”

The man hesitated and only half-turned to respond. While his answer was clearly audible, it barely seemed like he was even raising his voice, “That’s unnecessary. I don’t require a reward simply for doing my job.”

Raz was vaguely aware of the startled breath that sounded behind him, but figured it was just because Hollis realized that the psychohazard was all but wandering away; he decided to stall for time and ran to catch up. “That’s how they said it works in town-- it’s not payment, it’s just, you know, gratitude for helping people out.”

Warden watched as he skidded to a halt, and then sighed. “I appreciate their kindness, but they don’t need to do any such thing.”

“Yeah, and they appreciate your kindness. See? It all equals out.” He tried, insistently offering the [?].

Finally, Warden accepted it, extending his psilirium-laden hand in order to move the cloth back look at what lay beneath. As he did so, a pained hiss sounded from behind Raz-- more than one, in fact-- and the man’s head shot up. His eyes were no clearer than ever, but there was an awareness in them-- the recognition of danger. Panic. Rapidly, he raised his cuffed hand to a temple and… vanished.

So it turned out that he knew how to teleport. That made this a lot harder.

“Razputin,” Hollis said, sounding hoarse, though that could have been a byproduct of the psilirium exposure, “Do you know who that was?”

“Yeah, that was the warden; he helps out whenever people get lost inside the mountain.” […]

“Maybe that’s how he was introduced to you,” [Otto], “But before that, he was one of ours-- an agent who went missing years ago.”

Shaking her head to dispel the lingering effects, Hollis looked from Raz to where the warden once stood.

“Agent Aquato, you just found the lost Agent Motif.”

(Pardon me while I perpetuate the joke about Raz being the best at finding missing persons, be they bodies, brains or something in between.)

---

Raz was pretty sure he recognized the name Motif. The most likely explanation was that he’d read it in a comic somewhere, but that didn’t help narrow it down; he’d gone through a lot of comics in his time, and couldn’t exactly go back and revisit all of them, since his mom family had little to no regard for the preservation of literature.

It must have been the name of a supporting agent, he thought-- either that, or maybe it had been in an advertisement for another issue that he hadn’t ever gotten his hands on. The specifics didn’t really matter right now; it was way more important to find Agent Motif again, and for good this time. It seemed like a pretty good bet that he went back to the mountain-- to Korona-- but it wasn’t as simple as going there and wandering through the tunnels until someone ran into him. Even if they went to the trouble of tracking him down, there was nothing stopping him from teleporting away for a second time.

It sounded like everyone had different ideas how to tackle that problem. Hollis had gone to talk to someone back at HQ hours ago, and Otto was tinkering in his field laboratory, trying to set up something that would inhibit Agent Motif’s powers without relying on psilirium to do the job. Lizzie hadn’t been there to meet him, but when brought into the fold, she’d scoffed and muttered something about lectures under her breath. That seemed a little extreme; it had just been a basic rundown of the facts, not [a lecture].

Raz was on his way to check in with Bob and Helmut again when a new voice caught his attention and-- without thinking-- he found himself wandering toward it.

“Hollis.” The speaker said, steely and without emotion, “What is going on here?”

He stopped just shy of getting a visual, and belatedly realized that this was definitely eavesdropping, but stayed put, too curious to walk away yet.

“We’re on a mission to retrieve a lost agent. You already knew that-- you had no interest in participating.” Hollis said back, utterly unmoved.

“Correct. I had no place in the effort to retrieve Helmut’s body.” The other person somehow both agreed and argued, “We both know that is not why I’m here now.”

“Then why don’t you do us both a favor, Emmet? Explain to me why you are here, just so we know we’re on the same page.” […]

There was a dull thud, only resonating for a split second, “My brother, Hollis. You explain to me why I found out about this through office gossip.”

“At a guess, I would say it was because you were listening in on communications channels again.” Hollis [said] dryly. After a second, she sighed, “This is why I didn’t contact you immediately; we have to get a handle on the situation first. I don’t have any doubt that was Ingo, but he’s not acting like himself, and we need to understand why before diving in.”

“You don’t think it’s the giant piece of psilirium on his wrist?” The man asked, flat but disbelieving.

“After your stint at Charlie Psycho Delta? No, there has to be something else.”

“Our defenses are best when we’re together. He won’t withstand it as well by himself.”

[something gives Raz away]

Both of them went silent, and, after a moment, Hollis called out to him. “Would you care to join us, Agent Aquato?”

Guiltily, he slunk around the corner and through the door. He made apologetic eye contact with Hollis, and then looked to the other person. All at once, the pieces fell together: the surname and given names, the long, worn coat he’d seen Agent Motif wearing, now that he could compare it to an undamaged version, the teleportation out of and into the base--

“You’re the Countertype Conductors,” He said, already raking his mind for everything he knew about the pair of sibling Psychonauts. Since their job was to get agents to and from their destinations, they usually only got passing mentions and cameos, but one of his guesses had been right on the money: Issue 57 of True Psychic Tales had teased a story about psitanium smugglers, and the splash page featured two identical men pressed back to back, channeling psychic energy between their own pointing hands and between one another. He hadn’t ever been able to read that [issue], but any mention of them he had seen was as a pair-- as the Agents Motif or, when a book was getting dramatic, the Countertype Conductors.

Agent Motif-- Emmet-- curled his lip into a grimace at the declaration, and then looked back to Hollis. “This does not get you off the hook. I want to be a part of this mission.”

“There is no mission yet.” Hollis told him, nodding briefly to Raz, “It was just today that Agent Aquato brought his findings to us; we’re in the process of gathering intelligence, not acting on it.”

Agent Motif looked at him again, considering. “Then our business has concluded, Agent Forsythe. Agent Aquato. I want to hear what you saw.”

“Emmet,” Hollis said, low and warning, “Is that really how you want to conduct yourself in front of a junior agent?”

He turned to look her dead in the eye and then, bluntly, declared, “I don’t care, Hollis. It’s been two and a half years. I am beyond caring what anyone else thinks of me.”

They stared at one another for a handful of seconds, neither backing down.

Eventually, Hollis narrowed her eyes. “Actually, I do have a mission for you, Motif. I want you to go speak with Agent Zanotto.”

“He has nothing worth saying. Not to me.” Emmet scoffed.

“No?” / “You don’t think the man who lost his partner has any insight into your situation?”

“No. I don’t. He lost another person. I lost part of myself. It is not the same.” He said, expression twisting in offense, “I am done with this conversation. If you have any useful information, tell me. Otherwise, I will handle the matter myself.”

A stony silence settled over them. Agent Motif shrugged and turned his back.

“You’re not leaving this base.” Hollis warned as he crossed the room’s threshold.

“You can’t stop me.” He said simply, which… was true. They were kind of hung up on how to prevent teleportation right now, without any of the tools from HQ.

Hollis grimaced as he walked away, and her eyes fell on Raz.

“I’m sorry about him, Razputin. It’s… too complicated to explain in full right now.” She pursed her lips in thought, and seemed to [give in], “Could I ask you to keep an eye on him for the evening? You don’t have to approach him again-- I’d actually avoid it, if you can. I just need to know that he’s not doing anything stupid while we figure out what to do about Ingo.”

[…]

“Ah.” He said, sounding less than enthusiastic-- and yet, what actually followed was, “Good. Aquato, I still need information from you.”

Yeah… Raz wasn’t exactly inclined to share, between what he’d seen earlier and the instructions to keep an eye on Motif.

“I don’t think I can tell you anything else. Hollis is probably your best bet.” He tried, thinking that might be enough of a deterrent for the time being, but Emmet just rolled his eyes.

“You do not have to tell me anything.” The man said, tilting his head to the side and closing his eyes, brows furrowed in concentration. For a second, it seemed like he would try to read Raz’s mind, but there was no pressure on the edges of his psyche.

“I don’t think that loophole works when everyone involved is psychic.” […]

Emmet snorted, but didn’t open his eyes. “You don’t have to think anything either.”

He was definitely manipulating some sort of psychic energy. Raz… thought he recognized it as Mental Connection, actually, but the application was completely different from the examples Hollis had used while teaching. It was a little closer to the functionality he got out of it, but there were still more differences than there were similarities.

“That works.” Agent Motif declared after a moment, and made an abrupt turn without opening his eyes. When he did tune back in to the real world, it was to shoot a glance Raz’s way, “I am sorry if this gets you in trouble with Hollis. Tell her I could not be reasoned with. It’s true. I will not tolerate any further delays.”

And, with that, he vanished from the premises.

Well, shoot.

---

The technique Agent Motif had used was, in fact, a branch of Mental Connection-- crossed with clairvoyance in this case. Hollis had given a very general explanation when Raz reported to her, but as fascinating as it sounded, there wasn’t time to delve into that right now. The combination of skills could be used to follow a trail, and there was little wondering where Emmet intended to go.

Raz had been the first to note that he must not have known about Mount Korona, otherwise he wouldn’t have needed to do anything but look out the window. With the confirmation that he was working with a dangerously small amount of information, Hollis decided they had to act immediately.

[…]

It was dim, but the light that did filter through suggested that it wasn’t always the case-- the cavern was dark right now because it was night, and during the daytime, visibility would have been much better. Because of the scant lighting, a number of features were visible: a vaguely circular [platform] in the room’s center, extending seamlessly from the floor, shelves of ice that were two inches thick and still crystal clear, putting their contents on full display, a frozen basin that somehow contained water, albeit with a thin sheet of ice forming on its top and, on the far side of the room, an uneven, knee-height platform.

It was the last [feature] that they gravitated toward, largely due to the fact that there was a person resting on it.

Agent Motif knelt down-- biting back a hiss at the cold that immediately seeped through his pants-- rested a hand on their shoulder, and gently shook it. There was a [startled] inhalation as the other man startled awake, and automatically raised a hand to rub at his eyes.

“Lady O--”

He stopped as soon as the sight registered; even though he’d only cracked one eye open, he somehow narrowed it as he tried to understand what he was looking at, and pushed himself into sitting up. The former Agent Motif looked one way, and then the other-- attention only barely flickering to Raz-- and even up before letting himself settle on the man in front of him. Haltingly, he raised an arm, dropped it, and then frowned at the result.

“You’re… not a reflection.” He said numbly.

Emmet visibly stopped himself from saying something, substituting a slow shake of his head.

The warden hesitated, the silence a blanket of snow obscuring his racing thoughts, and eventually added, “I know you.”

“I know you.” / “I missed you.”

His brother almost reached out, and then snatched his hand back, thinking better of it. It would have been confusing, if not for the way he tucked it into the coat he’d been wearing even in sleep, hiding the chunk of psilirium from immediate view.

Emmet let the hand braced on a shoulder drop, trying to coax it back out by tugging at a sleeve, “It’s okay. It won’t hurt me if we’re together. You’re safe with me.”

While its owner wasn’t convinced, he didn’t put up a fight. The arm slowly eased out, mirrored by a hand that reached over to press their palms together. Raz caught a hint of a wince-- the same expression that had crossed Emmet’s face when he’d first realized how cold the floor was-- but it didn’t stop the man from lacing their fingers together and leaning in until their foreheads touched.

Something must have passed between them, unspoken, because the warden flinched and Emmet raised his opposite hand to the back of his brother’s head-- not forcing him to stay, but steadying him and encouraging him to linger.

“It’s okay.” He repeated, forcing his voice into gentle tones, “I will not let anything else happen to you.”

---

Also, misc notes:

[brucenorris007]

Everything You Know

"Transcription will show interviewer as agent Roque. Time is 0832 hours, interview room 01. Conducting interview of agent Rouge on subject of Mobians and relevant threat assessment per the interests of new administration. Also present is G.U.N. Commander"

"How much longer are you going to keep a lady waiting?"

"Um."

"Proceed, agent Roque."

"Yes sir."

"I'm all yours, hon."

"Right. Agent Rouge; you stated before that you have intel on active Mobians that G.U.N. might find useful."

"I'm the best there is."

"Various teams have already performed thorough research"

"Oh, I'm sure you have a file for everyone. Even little old me, don't you?"

". . ."

"That's our thing. But those files are still works in progress, and I think you've stalled out for a while."

". . ."

"What information do you have?"

"First, the Chaotix."

"That's an agency consisting of one Vector the crocodile, Espio the chameleon and Charmy bee."

"Frankly, the three of them together are nearly as adept at gathering intel as G.U.N.'s whole intelligence branch."

"What sort of resources do they have access to?"

"Ours make theirs look almost analog; which just speaks to how skilled they are."

". . ."

"Don't frown, Commander; I said nearly. They're not as good as me."

"And individually?"

"Vector's deceptively organized. No one would think it by looking at him, but his attention to detail is second to none. Espio can fully control his camouflage at will and claims he's a trained ninja. I've never seen him kill before, but then, most people don't see me, either."

". . ."

"And Charmy?"

"He's six."

"And?"

"He's six. What more do you want? I'm not doing a detailed report on any children."

"Does that include"

"My cutoff is seven years old."

". . .Does that include Cream the Rabbit?"

"Nauseatingly sweet. Jot that on a post-it for your files."

"All right; let's move on, then."

". . . those kids can fly carrying upwards of 400 pounds. . ."

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind, big boy. You were saying?"

"Right. Let's see. Amy Rose; her name has appeared on an impressive number of reports."

"Ha! I'm not surprised. That girl basically fears nothing, or at least no authority of any kind. She's got an odd kind of charisma that somehow draws others into helping her. Nothing like mine, of course, but I'm a bit more selective about who I work with."

"I'm seeing several counts of criminal activity here."

"All null and void per the last administration, hon. She's been good as far as the law's concerned since then. No telling how long that'll last."

"And how would you assess her through the lens of being a possible threat?"

"Hard to know; like I said, there's no telling what she might pursue next. If any of her goals brought her in contention with G.U.N. though, I doubt that would stop her trying."

"What about this friend of hers, a Big the Cat?"

"Seriously? We've got one for him? He's a teddy bear. Literally only cares about his pet frog and good fishing. He's nil as a threat to anyone except tuna."

"Okay. Just a few more"

"Let me guess. Knuckles the Echidna."

"Do you have anything on him?"

"Amateur treasure hunter. Militant, dedicated to his job; which keeps him out of most of the business we're interested in anyway, since he lives on a floating island. By my estimate, he's the strongest thing alive."

". . . !"

"Not that he can't be handled. Insofar as we'd ever need to handle a recluse."

"Is he really an echidna?"

"He seems to think so."

"Thank you. That just leaves"

"Little fox boy for last, hm?"

"Uh."

"Tails, birth name Miles Prower. The reason my cutoff age is seven; he's at least as smart as Eggman, if not more so. Kid works with less of a budget than the Chaotix and he can still build better aircraft, mechanical units and weaponry than the Doctor. If he wasn't such a goody-two-shoes, I might want to teach him a few things myself."

"That's quite a statement."

"And not a word of exaggeration."

". . ."

"That's everyone, huh, stud?"

"Actually"

"Thanks for this little date, Roque; would've been more fun with some wine and sans chaperone."

"Agent Rouge, I have to ask"

"That's me clocked out for the day, boys; you know where to find me."

"Sonic the Hedgehog."

". . ."

". . ."

"Of all active Mobians, any information on him is the highest priority. What have you got on him?"

"Commander."

"Agent Rouge."

"I believe it would be in G.U.N.'s best interest for me to keep hold of my intel on subject Sonic the Hedgehog."

". . ."

". . ."

"Very well. That will be all."

Creak.

Slam.

"Sir?"

"She's right, agent Roque; she is among our best. That's why we have a file on her in the first place."

- - - - -

Rouge sighed, rolling out her neck and flexing her wings once the door shut behind her. G.U.N. used exactly the same chairs in their interview rooms as in their interrogation cells, and they left her stiff if she sat too long.

No doubt the nerds working on a contingency plan for Sonic would be crying again tonight, but it wasn't her problem. There really wasn't much to learn about him anyway.

She could have told them that his friends-particularly the girl and his pocket genius-were the nearest he had to any kind of vulnerability or weak point, but at best it was a moot point. At worst, G.U.N. would do far more harm than good with the information.

She'd pieced together herself what Eggman must've figured out years ago:

The consequences for going after Sonic's so-called "weak points" weren't worth any prize.

Rouge tucked in her wings and made her way down the hall. All told, it hadn't been the way she wanted to spend her morning, but it'd been necessary. The new administration had been acting a little shifty toward Mobians compared to the previous.

Volunteering for a verbal report would put her-and if only by proxy, Shadow and Omega-into G.U.N.'s good-or at least neutral-books.

It'd also serve as a reminder of just how skilled she was; and how much damage she could cause on the way out if need be.

Best of all, doing so had cost her next to nothing save a few shiny tidbits.

She might've given G.U.N. all they knew about Mobians.

But she'd hardly given them all she knew.

@generic-sonic-fan

[myfriendskickass]

the thing about tumblr's moderation is that

yes they have transphobic enforcement of the rules

some people regardless of marginalized status are breaking the rules because harassment is against the rules

a lot of the time when you report harassment you get told its not actually harassment. what you're supposed to do is FOLLOW UP TO THAT EMAIL with a screencap/link of the thing you're reporting coupled with the specific rule they are breaking

no tumblr doesn't tell you this and that's bad

tumblr's communication is bad actually

and that is because the moderation is largely all bots due to how big tumblr is as a website with how small the staff is, and always has been, relative to how big the website is

and the problem is that even if your case gets seen by a human, none of those humans have moderation TRAINING

this is relevant because what the scum mass reporting people (for spam or otherwise) have learned to do is send hate that juuuuust skirts under the line of the rules so that when you report them, technically they AREN'T breaking the rules

their goal is to provoke you into losing your cool so that you snap and say something against the rules

and then an untrained moderator who is severely underpaid looks at it (if they ever do) and the only guideline they have is pattern matching to the TOU/Community Guidelines

This is why people were getting terminated for talking about their own experiences. (IYKYK) because TECHNICALLY, since it's autobiographical, it is a real person. and TECHNICALLY that is against the rules. But untrained moderators/bots do not have the ability/time to like...use common sense.

I genuinely believe that tumblr support staff is at least trying their best, at least 50% of the time. It's just that the site is so big that they don't have the mod team to do it. They have to rely on bots that can be manipulated by spam, and the few humans they do have aren't trained to know how to spot these types of "you are being provoked into lashing out" type situations or the common sense to know "autobiographies are not the same thing as the content we're trying to prevent" because they are overworked and underpaid. This is also probably why it takes them ages to get back to you and why the communication is so bad.

The real solution is hire more humans and actually train them and stop relying on bots.

My experience with tumblr support is that aside from trying to report harassment that one time that I didn't follow up on because I didn't know you had to do that (and I know it's like why am I doing their jobs for them but with a team this small and overworked, it actually IS helpful to include the thing you're reporting again in a follow up email so that you CAN sway an actual human being) support has almost always responded to all of my bug reports extremely quickly.

They've also responded to reports of my trans friends who are publically out on this website extremely quickly too.

On the same side, they have also banned and then reinstated another trans friend 15 times for talking in detail about their transition experiences. (all text no images) Which we can all agree is fucked up. Same issue with the autobiographical experience fiasco. There was also somebody I followed who reported a bug and then tumblr noticed they had a bunch of sideblogs that were basically empty and deleted their account because of url squatting and it took them a whole week to get it back, at the cost of having to give up sideblog projects they really did intend to get to before their health took a nosedive. (Which, the thing is, TECHNICALLY, that IS url squatting! And yes, a reasonable mod team with training would be able to suss that out, but at the same time, if they let one person hoard urls to "get to eventually", even if they are sincere, how are they going to reasonably distinguish that from somebody who IS trying to exploit things? This is an unfortunate use case.)

On ANOTHER side, a lot of the people (but not all, obviously!) who get banned (popular bloggers esp) actually DID say some really vile things that most people don't know about that violates TOS/CG and the thing is is that when tumblr bans you, EVERY IMAGE from your blog, including old reblog chains, gets removed too. That's how innocuous stuff ends up getting the "this violates guidelines" picture - OP got banned for something you probably didn't see because not everybody sees every post by ever user ever, and tumblr removed all their content.

This happens to Nazis and TERFS a lot, actually, because they're very good at keeping the real heinous shit they say to their own circles. These two groups, btw, do in fact get banned a LOT and they are constantly remaking. (Tumblr is actually extremely chill about ban evasion. Due to how the moderation is, that's a good thing, but on any other website, you can in fact get banned permanently. Those websites have better moderation though.)

Overall, the problem with tumblr moderation is inconsistency. Everything is a random crapshoot to how you get treated and it's really easy to spin this as "staff is deliberately hurting XYZ" but I think the real problem under the hood is that there's simply too few humans (causing a backlog of response time/communication) + over reliance on bots (making it easy to spam report people into getting their blogs banned) + the few humans they do have are untrained and underpaid (making them want to close cases as quickly as possible to move on to the next one/being unsure of how to make moderation decisions so they rely on strict interpretations of the rules.)

Basically, tumblr is not actively malicious (with the exception of that one transphobic moderator they since fired apparently), they are randomly incompetent. And the randomness is what makes this truly awful.

[starrywangxian]

warning: the last of us spoilers!! (episode 9 in particular)

to the new people who are adding to the moral dilemma debate at the end of tlou from the show, first of all: hello! second of all, you're missing some points about the importance of the sciencists' dumbassery and joel's ain't no one touching my daughter rampage and hopefully i'll explain what those missing points are.

1. the cure wouldn't have worked.

you're very right, cures are impossible for fungal infections such as Cordyceps, however the key missing detail is joel didn't know that. joel is not a scientist nor did he know how the fireflies were going to make this cure. as much as i love the "we're all fucked" segment in the first episode and the scared scientist from episode 2, none of this context happens in the game so, it's not general knowledge that fungal infections cannot be treated let alone cured. it's a good point but it's not relevant to joel's moral dilemma because he doesn't know that the cure wouldn't work. when he's in his rampage, he's not thinking "silly, fireflies. this cure won't work! you can't cure fungal infections" because if he did, i'm sure he'd at least try to tell them first. and anyway, FEDRA really don't want to tell people that there is a way to cure this infection and then not do it. more people would join the fireflies that way and the QZs would quickly become under new management. so FEDRA are certainly not telling people that fungal infections cannot be cured (heck, FEDRA aren't even telling people about the different infected - ellie didn't know what a clicker was, pre-museum).

2. the scientists dropped out of med school.

yeah, they probably did because med school, as we know it today, hasn't existed for 20 years. doctors are most likely taught in the QZs - the place the Fireflies are currently bombing - and these courses are probably taught by FEDRA or at least the government, which are the people that are killing the fireflies by the masses. even if the fireflies running the tests and doing the operation on ellie did go to FEDRA med school, they most likely were not taught how to do precise biopsies or extraction surgeries as in an apocalypse, they probably want to train their doctors to do more practical operations and ones they're most likely to come across, or maybe they just forgot! it's been 20 years! plus the fireflies aren't exactly in the best place right now (FEDRA are doing a good job of killing them all), so they're probably too desperate to go through it thoroughly. so are these firefly scientists good scientists? no. but they're trying their best with the resources and expertise they have and most importantly, the exact procedure that ellie goes through does not matter.

ik it's a pain that there's a few holes and flaws with the plot but these little bits really don't have that big an impact and if these little details were accounted for then the impact on joel's decision wouldn't be as big as the writers wanted it to be.

the moral dilemma joel faces has to be a big deal: we spend all this time travelling across the country for this cure, just for one man to murder everyone in his path for his newfound daughter. that's the point here! the writers want us to think about sarah; joel didn't get a choice with sarah, she was taken from him but this time, he can save her. he has a choice and he'll do whatever it takes to make this time different. in those moments when he guns down everyone he sees, he's not seeing them as people with loved ones and hobbies; they're obstacles, they're threats to his ellie's safety. (think "you'd just come after her").

he doesn't care about these people, he only cares about ellie. joel did save the world that day, it's just that his world was that little girl. honestly, a lot of joel's reasoning is explained in part 2 of the game so if you're really hung up on it, give it a play (or wait until season 2).

my point being here is, the writers wanted to create a situation that 1) reminds us of sarah, and 2) makes ellie and joel's relationship very tense afterwards. because ellie knows that joel is lying about the fireflies and this creates a big rift in their relationship. the choice joel made has to be big to have this same impact. ellie is willing to sacrifice herself for a cure, even if it doesn't work because she already believes that she's getting more than she deserves. she should've died with riley that day, and then with tess, sam and henry. all these people she's seen die should have been her all those months ago. but joel can't let that happen, he can't let another daughter die. and boom the tension flowers! this moral dilemma is showing us how deep joel's feelings go; he'd kill half of salt lake city and doom all of humanity to death for his little girl, even if that means going against what she wants.

so to summarise, no one knows that the fungal infection cannot be cured, the little details that you're hung up on about the science do not matter and the writers needed to create this big moral dilemma to really test the love that joel feels for ellie.

*breathes* so any questions?

[chemicalpink]

My biggest question is why are we separating bts privacy from typical celebrities? Like celebrities ARE BEING FOLLOWED EVERYWHERE THEY GO . Yes they are humans but that's their price to pay no?. I didn't see people having problem when justin was being followed left and right or when his info would leak same goes for beyonce or Rihanna.

I think this train of thought might need a bit more of contextual conversation than what I might be able to deliver right now but allow me to try and perhaps expand on it afterwards.

Disclaimer: this is a personal academic take. Please don’t take it to heart. It is meant to be objective and unbiased, I might sound harsh around some topics, it’s all merely academic. I will try to deliver some references on the matter however, the arguments that this piece contains are derived from my experience as a sociologist and a lawyer, someone who has focused on neuroprogramming anthropology for the entertainment industry, especially focused on the building of bridges between the west and east music industries. And yes, I’ve worked as such for a Korean entertainment company. Listen if by now you know you’re gonna get angry, do you and don’t force yourself to read on something you’re not ready to read on yet. Enjoy your day, don’t get angry over some words online.

I see you, 100%, celebrities Can and should be studied as a group. All public figures are subjected to similar experiences when it comes to invasion of privacy. And also all celebrities are human. I think the first point of order should be exactly that: how is it that through the capitalisation of a person’s talents (not even talking about performing in any of its forms but even in their ability to form and maintain a platform) has somehow equaled along the line to stripping them of their privacy? How is them making a living any different from any of us making a living and laying themselves out bare a part of the job description?

Now, I don’t think it’s quite fair to settle for it being “a price to be paid” for being a celebrity. Privacy is not a luxury that people get to be disposed of, privacy is lawfully regarded as a human component that allows us vulnerability and the development of our very own individuality, need for our human right of being a person. The fact that violation of privacy happens, doesn’t mean that it should happen. The absolute fallacy of repetitiveness has made people believe that well- it’s just the status quo for being a public figure but we must remember that just because it keeps on happening doesn’t make it the rule of existence.

I’m going back to the separating BTS from other celebrities, as you point out western celebrities, and specifically Just*n B. I would gladly say as anything to be sociologically researched, we need to be contextual, transversal and intersectional.

BTS are 100% Korean men that have inserted themselves into a western driven industry. This is nothing new but rather more so explanatory to how exactly we must begin to approach the take (given, it is much more complex than any Tumblr post can even begin to be) since invasion of privacy is a dehumanising concept in and out of itself, we can only begin to understand just how much more prejudicial it is when said invasion of privacy is targeted towards people of color, a group that is historically dehumanised in itself, even more so in entertainment based in the west. When it comes to racial prejudice, it’s so so easy to get the lines blurred in between “oh it’s just that they aren’t based in the US so we are SO CURIOUS about what they’re up to” “We just NEVER get a chance to see them the way they’re seen out and about in Korea” “It’s just that OUR CHANCE TO MEET THEM is nearly zero since they just stay a few days where WE GET TO SEE THEM” “ITS SO FUNNY TO SEE THAT THE NORM HERE IS SO DIFFERENT TO KOREA”. Just about how much of the potential information to be taken from those questioning or scenarios is relevant to their quality as artists? None of it.

It’s a whole other complex conversation to be had when looking at it from the way the entertainment industry works in the East, with the way that fan culture interacts and presents itself along with the neuro marketing over there that certainly enables more dangerous practices and entitlement from certain groups or people.

Now of western celebrities, like Just*n B. Bey*nice or Rih*anna. And I believe two of those face a rather similar approach if only ever worse for them also being women.

Sociologically we must also see it under the time context, and certainly avoid any revisionist takes on the matter. I don’t think there was a time where everyone was under the consensus of leaking private information or following them being right or absolutely thrilled about it. Less spoken about, sure. But shifts happen and voices are being raised. As I’ve pointed out before, it is NEVER okay, and every case is intersectional. Just*n is an artist that got started way too young in the industry and his invasion of privacy should be studied as such, a teenager whose company’s strategy was to sell the “boyfriend image” in a fandom context of NEEDING to be the YN of a person that never got to settle a true boundary between his public self and his true human side, in between a lot of dehumanisation and abuse of power since he was always the youngest in the room, a general public that fed off of hating him for being “feminine” (which also need a longer and more vast talk on misogyny and homophobia)

All in all, every artist is a human being, simply because they exist as such. They are human before they are artists and certainly before they are public figures. And that, is the conversation to be had.

[faithfromanewperspective]

I'm just sending this to you because we discuss neurodivergence of TSC characters a lot lol but the way that Matthew talks about Oscar Wilde just screams Not Neurotypical to me. It's too pervasive in his mind, too obsessive a fixation. He brings Wilde up in situations where he isn't "relevant" by neurotypical standards, such as when he calls Magnus "Oscar Wilde if he had magic powers" and when he randomly starts to quote him in various scenarios. I recognize this, because it is funny enough the way that I think about and talk about Matthew himself.

The only thing is that I can't pinpoint what I think the underlying neurodivergence here is. Because I have ADHD and relate to Matthew, I'm partial to labeling it an ADHD hyperfixation. But I don't really see any other ADHD traits in Matthew. Thoughts?

love this ask so much! this is going to be a wild(e) ride of an answer with some crackpot theories because that's where I'm at right now. so buckle up.

So the short of it is I think yes, Matthew does have ADHD, but it's hidden behind well, everything else. I'll start with why it's hard to see: because so much of how we talk about ADHD today relates to one of three situations: 1) the classroom, 2) the workplace, and 3) running a household/getting day-to-day chores done. Matthew goes to school for less than six months, he does not have a typical job (instead one that is arguably more ADHD-friendly) and he does not bear the responsibility of running a household, or anything really. Yes he helps out--but everything he does would be seen as extra and helpful and so if/when he's not feeling it, no one is going to care.

The second reason I'd say it's hard to see is because my educated guess is that he has the hyperactive/impulsive type and much of that ends up muted (not all of it) considering he isn't sober most of the time we know him. My guess is part of the reason it takes everyone so long to realise he's drinking so much is because he's actually more 'normal' when he's drunk. They think he just grew up. When in reality him actually growing up involves being himself a lot more and letting his neurodivergence shine through.

So why do I think he has ADHD? First, there's genetics. Henry definitely definitely has ADHD. He's so absentminded it's actually kind of impressive. And we see in VSaEH that his mother (?) Rachel Branwell is a lot like him. And then there's Charlotte, who I expect probably doesn't have ADHD. But she's strong-willed and stubborn and proud and angered at injustice and has that defiant compassion we see in Matthew. Charlotte doesn't exactly scream neurotypical but even though she's not obviously neurodivergent, you can see she carries some traits, I guess? I'm not sure exactly how genetics work with ADHD, I don't think anyone is, but I can see very clearly in my head how these two personalities combine genetically to create the Matthew we know and love. Also generally when one parent has ADHD you're likely to get at least one child with it.

Second, there's who he hangs out with. None of his friends are neurotypical--not the Thieves, not Anna, not Lucie (Cordelia joins the group a lot later once it's already formed so she doesn't count here). And we know neurodivergents flock together. Due to common traits, yes, but I think in Matthew's case it's also because he finds most 'normal' shadowhunters so excruciatingly boring. Caught up in silly shows of their power and athleticism with sharp weapons. Not really doing anything new, not expressing any part of themselves that feels anything, seeming especially to want to prove that they don't have that aspect of humanity, training and learning and showing off all the time instead of being human and having basic compassion that might actually drive them to better protect the humans they're mandated to (as it does for 13yo James).

I think the reason behind all this can be partially explained with ADHD. Because its biological basis is not creating dopamine (satisfaction chemical) at the thing most people find satisfying, we often need a lot higher levels of satisfaction and thrill than your everyday neurotypical to function long enough to get to the next task. This can result in needing a deeper drive that aligns with our core beliefs (and often a cause bigger than ourselves and someone telling us to do things) that just Because Everyone Does. Makes us creative. Makes most people's interpretation of the shadowhunter life Just Not Cut It. Downworlders are exciting. The way the other Merry Thieves (at least Christopher and James) think is exciting. Same goes with Henry and Will and oh, the stories he's heard about Magnus from both of them. Someone who cares deeply and openly and so creatively expresses himself through fashion? The very thought would mean Matthew can for a moment not feel 'wrong' and a little less alone. Just like Oscar Wilde. More on this later.

Finally (in terms of Scientific Evidence), ADHD is a factor behind addiction. Some estimates say 50% of adults with ADHD have a history of substance abuse of some kind. Theories as to why include the dopamine hit that most things do not give us and escape from the feeling that we're wrong, that we can't keep up, and other mental health conditions that are far more common than in the general population. Matthew's bipolar that we have both headcanoned fits in this category--and its rate of co-occurrence with ADHD, depending on how it is defined/differentiated from the other symptomatically is high, at least much higher than in the general population.

Matthew's bipolar, I think, doesn't have a typical/stereotypical presentation either. It's less episodic and more often consists of mixed states of various kinds--and against a backdrop of ADHD (this is totally a headcanon on society for me), that makes perfect sense. The restlessness and boredom at life itself becomes irritability that easily spirals into rage-induced rebellion and grandiose ideas of creating a life so set apart from what is unbearable. And the lack of stimulation, lack of excitement and also genuine connection that makes us feel something other than the awareness of not quite belonging--combined with the exhaustion of getting by in this world and self-deprecating thoughts that all of this is a breeding ground for--stacks up until it meets the criteria for depression. Sometimes both of these things happen, at least aspects of them, at the same time.

And Matthew, who's constantly seeking out novelty in learning to notice things about the world from a very young age, stimulating his brain with this new information, very quickly realises the world isn't a friendly place for him and takes the blame for that on himself. It makes perfect sense doesn't it? He sees Henry and Christopher as well, existing, a little less consciously aware of it than he is all of the time, and also figures out the way society treats them, as oddities. He quickly learns to charm people and be liked, but that drive to make a difference, to turn the world upside down for people like him, gets unfulfilled again and again. Maybe it's all for nothing. Maybe he is a waste of space. A failure. Why can't he just accept things how they are and let it go? But then how could he validate his own existence? And so the rage against the world and against himself drives him on and raises its head with energy that goes into doing something dramatic but mostly he just drowns out in various forms of escapism. It makes him rebellious and irritable but mostly just tires him out. He hit breaking point very young. But like the fact that our ADHD brains that don't make (enough) dopamine doing day-to-day things aren't automatically always depressed (we can and do find things that give us the dopamine we need), Matthew still has art and culture and fashion and the things that bring a feeling of sustainable pleasure and tell him that his existence is creative and original and revolutionary and a source of joy for so many like him: either outcasts or filled with personality that society doesn't want them to express. I think his obsession with Oscar Wilde is more than an ADHD fixation, though it is one: it's validation of his very existence, it's his permission to feel, it's his lifeline: of course he thinks of it all the time and simply has to let that out no matter the occasion.

I also did want to briefly touch on the fact that there is more neurodivergence than just autism and ADHD. Most personality disorders involve a fixation on something or someone at some points, which is something to do with 'splitting' and finding a source of needs that were chronically unmet. I admit I'm only starting to learn about this, but I believe that its intensity and the emotional regulation it provides can look similar to an autistic special interest or an ADHD hyperfixation.

And there's also the fact that, when talking about symptoms that aren't exclusively defined against classroom/workplace/homemaking norms, ADHD often involves emotional dysregulation and big feelings especially of rejection. And like it's not the only reason Matthew does exhibit this: but when looked at as a whole person rather than a set of diagnoses, it makes sense that this does describe him and the brain he did end up developing over the years of his childhood.

I say that because there have been headcanons of BPD Matthew and as PDs are generally trauma-based and we've headcanoned Matthew's PTSD as well--even if (and I'm not an expert who can claim that for sure!) he doesn't have that core fear of abandonment there are reasons, hopefully I've established a bit of why so much is so relatable to him. Even if Oscar Wilde isn't quite a FP relationship, being a celebrity/artist and all. It's still a source of emotional safety against the backdrop of a largely hostile world (one that Matthew, brave as he is, seeks to continue to embrace and bring joy to).

I also suspect that ADHD (present from birth and interacting with life circumstances) underlies a lot more further neurodivergences (such as PDs, also bipolar as I've discussed) than we think it does. That and PDA. But I could be biased when it comes to finding neurodivergences that I know I don't have relatable, just because I have both of these things.

[sheisanimposter]

I think we need to normalize listing relevant books we’ve read in our resumes. A 2 hour LinkedIn training is essentially as effective as watching a documentary and those are totally welcome, but you know what’s way more impressive? Reading an entire textbook on a topic without being assigned to.

It goes both ways too. We used to have mandatory fun chats at the tech company I worked for and I swear every white male higher up I spoke to and asked for career advice or about their backgrounds recommended the same mediocre airport book and I’m absolutely convinced none of them even finished it. If only employers could see that I read the catcher and the rye of tech bro books and actual relevant books of quality 😱

Ty for coming to my ted talk, next time we’ll discuss how portfolios aren’t actually realistic or necessary for half the job ads requiring them and how asking potential employees to have a “self brand” online is actually insane. 🥰

[lightofraye]

Thoughts on the road

New job is a challenge. Training is going to be intense... and virtual. Which makes it an interesting challenge. Virtual at a work building. I could do all this at home, save myself the commute, but whatever.

All I'll say is that it's with the state.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to write on the side and hope someday to break into the industry.

So what thoughts occurred to me at work and then on the road? How it's been ten years since I separated from my ex-husband and fled to a domestic violence shelter. It was the scariest moment of my life, bar none, and I've actually had a gun held to my throat once (late night burglary right outside my apartment door).

Ten years since we separated. Nine years since we divorced. It took more than a year to get divorced and I was damned lucky the shelter had a working relationship with a pro bono law firm specifically meant to help victims get a divorce from their abusive spouses. I would not have been able to afford a lawyer otherwise.

During my lunch break at work, I came across an article from HuffPo that perfectly articles how hard it can be to divorce an abusive partner with access to money. I felt it also was relevant, given my recent post about Jensen Ackles and his wife, Danneel.

--excerpt from article--

I wish I could say I’m not affected by their often horrifying stories ― or that I don’t grab my own tissues ― when I sign off from my coaching sessions. But I’d be lying. Ninety-five percent of my clients had a coercive-controlling partner and are either trying to escape or trying to put the pieces of their life back together. I often wonder if people realize that marrying the wrong mate can destroy their life. The fact that most don’t keeps me up at night.

“My husband said if I divorce him, he will ruin me, take all my money ― I’ll have nothing and will live on the street,” “Margo,” a high-powered executive in Massachusetts who is afraid to use her real name, told me. “He also said, ‘You won’t get the children ― in fact, your children will hate you. I will destroy your career and destroy anyone who tries to date you. The flip side is if you stay with me, none of this will happen.’”

Margo thought they were empty threats.

“I soon learned he was telling the truth,” she told me, now three years into her divorce and $200,000 poorer. She said her ex continues to try anything he can to stop the divorce, including refusing to hand over her personal belongings, filing motions in court, rejecting any negotiations she attempts and even having her arrested on bogus claims that she abused him. This respected businesswoman spent six hours in a jail cell. When the police carted her away, her husband stood in the front window smiling and waving like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining.”

--end excerpt--

I got lucky.

Many don't.

It's a sobering thought as I consider this new career path.

[lord-shitbox]

gozumezu thought dump. you are not prepared for the word count on this one

^me looking at a picture of a katana (gozu has one of those)

he has 2 japanese swords hes only drawn with one in his first several manga appearances but hes got 2 in the later cameo towards the climax of the uhhh. spiral palace arc? where kuroumaru says hes got a crush on tsurara. the anime gave him 2 always.

anyway thinking SOOOO hard about mezu behaving in fucked up ways. i think his puppetry is solid Hatsu level but what about Hyoui (invocation & possession fear/osore) levels). the fear that cuts through fear. I think his puppetry doesn't work by physically forcing his. puppetees(??) to move around so much as it controls their minds... like:

that yokai professor he was puppeting at the very first rikuo goes to nejireme / umerakuen arc in volume 2: he was able to control what the dude was saying by speaking himself, and when he detached the strings the guy "woke up," confused by his location

when he puppets torii and maki, they are put in a dazed/unthinking state

just went back and squinted at the gozumezu spy arc (ch 37+) i think Gangi-Kozou was gozumaru's brainwashing chant, actually..

regardless like. I think his fear strings take over his puppets' brains & force them to move their muscles rather than literally pull their limbs into place like inanimate puppets in real life behave. speech wouldn't be possible otherwise & it explains the lack of consciousness in his puppets.

notes..offensive mezu abilities.....

I have to add this in: the "anti-yokai wards" in the ANIME were talismans placed by mezu against non-gyuki yokai [because the resort is actually run by the Gyuki clan] but in the MANGA it's a whole metal garage door to physically block invaders because the resort belongs to Kiyotsugu's family & hes rich. Negoro and Uwajima smash it open. so I don't consider the talismans to be anything relevant

ability to control corpses? they don't have minds but nerve impulses could be simulated... it would take like. a LOT of energy though. a living person has energy in their body to generate muscle contractions n shit because theyre alive. dead people dont though. maybe it'd be easier to puppet a corpse to move so violently their body starts falling apart than it would be to do that to a living person. thatd compensate for the extra energy itd take

transform the material properties of the strings to be like needles /spikes or wires capable of cutting?

gozu's brainwashing chant is underrated & something the anime cut out, actually, so im like the only fucker thats up and caring about it ,

i think mezu becoming a strong strategist would also be nice & in compliance with his position in the clan in canon. he commands the ushi-oni corps (sidenote ushi-oni is the exact same kanji as Gyuki, gyuki is just read as a compounded word & ushi-oni is read like the kanji are standalones) & also has the job of Control Gozu as the vice- young head of the gyuki clan. i think his silly charisma would make for an interesting dynamic with the rest of the warriors in the faction, even tho NONE OF THEM ARE SHOWN it's implied they're ruthless like Gyuki & Gozumaru. having some silly guy who's not even that strong command you might lead to some resentment, & ithnk mezu maintaining his position despite not being particularly strong on ihs own would b interesting...

a few ways i think someone dissenting against him could go. 1) mezu puppets other members of the clan against the dissenter. 2) the rest of the clan is like "shut up man he's our silly little guy." 3) gozu pulls up & is like "shut up man he's MY silly little guy (deputy younghead) hes working here to help ME out." 4) gyuki i think would be like "you doubt my judgement?" with a really scary glare & if they continue to oppose him he either challenges them to a duel or makes gozu do it.

anyways. new train of thought

mt nejireme is probably rigged to shit and back with traps. mezu pours marbles down the stairs type shit. rikuo's probably grown out of traps now that hes 12/13 instead of 8 but he would probably have fun setting them with mezu

12 yr old day rikuo is trying too hard to be normal & doesnt want to inconvenience everyone but i think end of manga rikuo is probably restabilizing as a Happily Weird individual & would be down with pranks again. night rikuo would participate & be like. what hey who did that. not me. wow mustve been the wind

similarly i think gozumezu 14 yrs old era would be living hell (really funny) they would get into NASTY arguments like gyuki throws them out because they dont shut the fuck up level bad. mezu would go "visit" the main house (he'd bring gifts, bought with gyuki's credit card, which is ok because it's for the main house and appropriate :> gyuki wont mind [he's right]) and have a generally nice time hanging out there. gozumaru would be miserable though hed be like FINE ill be on my OWN. living on the streets for a while kind of miserable. i think it'd be interesting if he wound up at that one Tengu's place... the forest near Kyoto where Rikuo has another training arc with Gyuki. He'd go train with that guy for a while before eventually going back home to Gyuki and saying sorry. Mezu would eventually confess to the people at the main house that he's there because he got in trouble & they would be like go home and say sorry itll be okay :) #friendshipismagic etc. he does & they make up yayyyy the arguing resumes in a week and a half

just checked im thats like 950 words. as is normal and standard. thanks come again

[yebinette]

Who is she?

Hello there! Please just call me Yebin. This is a made-up name, if ever you're wondering. Probably, the most relevant thing that you should know about me at first is that I am primarily lost at life right now. Why else would I be writing down stuff here in Tumblr, if not for the sheer boredom of being confined to my own thoughts everyday of my life? I say all this, because I am unemployed.

As an Asian living in Southeast Asia, in an Asian household, I have thought that I am only ever equal to the amount of money I bring home. This isn't to say that my family treats me like their personal bank, no absolutely not. In fact, my family has been quite the socialist when it comes to letting me still live under their roof. I just couldn't stand the pressure of not being able to be financially independent at the ripe age of 24 (turning 25), when my peers are ticking off their respective money goals and living their best lives, or at least that's what their social media accounts show (though, I really do hope they are because I truly wish the best for them).

I have tried searching for jobs. Jobs that are aligned with what I am trained to do; jobs in STEM. I did, I really did. I received a considerable number of calls, interviews, and offers but nothing really struck me as something that I would sacrifice my current life for. Having to move to another place is great for me, but moving to THE Metro Manila, while working on a minimum wage despite being a licensed professional? Absolutely not! I could tell you about the realities of the job market of a third world country during a recession but this is not what we're here for today. Yes, I actually do have an agenda for this post and this isn't some random rambling brain fart I decided to share because I have an overactive imagination 20 minutes past 9 in the evening.

What we're here to talk about is how I am supposed to find what I want to do for the rest of my life. Twenty-four turning twenty-five isn't too old, nor is it too young. But I feel it is at the age where you should have at least an idea of what you want to do. Currently, I have none. Or too many. One thing is for sure, some sort of career change is on the way for me; if not, I will make a way for it. You know those manifestation videos you randomly see on your FYP on social media? Yeah, I've manifested on those too. Too many times, actually, it's embarrassing. But if anything, it did serve a purpose though.

The past few weeks of job hunting in tandem with manifesting made me understand that I don't want a repetitive, too-technical, highly objective job, which ironically, is the nature of all the jobs I have been offered. The cycle goes the same every time: I apply, I get interviewed, I wait a few days, I get an offer, I say I don't want the job anymore and have changed my priorities. A large factor to my non-acceptance and "change in priorities" is the fact that all these jobs are offered to me at minimum wage, overtime, contractual, and with no health benefits. So really, why would I overhaul my life for the barest of all the minimums? Currently, I find jobs in technology relatively isolating and even more so in these conditions, depressing. Don't get me wrong, I like math and science, but I also like interacting with and learning from people. As I ponder while in transit to-and-from different places to catch interviews, I come to realize that my background in STEM doesn't really align with who I am anymore nor who I want to be in life. Maybe there was a time I wanted to become a scientist, researcher, or inventor, but I don't have that in me anymore, not because I lost interest, but simply because I changed. Although, I still aim to find the silver lining by striving to marry what I know with something new, but I might as well be tempted to abandon it altogether.

Currently, I have decided to stop job hunting and start focusing on what I want to learn more. Even though I may not have as much right now, I recognize my privilege in having a safety net that provides me the freedom, although limited, to explore what I truly want. Don't expect too much though; I am relatively optimistic but we still have to keep in mind that I am technically considered a fresh-out-of-college-but-unemployed girl in her mid-20s with only 20 bucks to her name living in a developing country so the privilege isn't really ✨giving✨ when compared to the rest of the world. Hence, with the next few weeks to months, this account will be a log of every single hobby I have ever dipped my toes in and my thoughts as I walk through in it. I have a few in mind for a while now and I have actually registered for some classes, all of which I am very excited for. I'll make a list of it surely so I can all share my progress as well.

Anyway, I believe this has been too long? Maybe one of the classes I'll take someday is how to properly write a blog post... and uhm yeah, I'll see you in my next post!

[team-enigma-official]

I've compiled all the relevant logs recorded by the researcher, Anya, that appear to reference the Glitch City legendary.

These files may be in danger of causing some Data Loss on our end. Never the less I wish to log them here for reference.

[LOG DATE: 6/10/21

"They've given me his old assignment I think. Subjects 006, 007 and 008, three 4 4 Hy, all primed to evolve in just a few levels. I've been instructed to start by raising only one and then slowly evolve the rest. I'm not sure what the effect of having two Q̴̵̵̶̸̶̡̧̩̭͈̣͕͉̓͋͛͋͂̓̕͠ͅ�̸̸̶̵̸̷̟̟̣̝͓͎͍̈͆̊̌̅̔̆͘͝◣̸̶̷̶̵̷̻͚͓̳̩̖͇̿́̈́̓̒̎̉̓̕ͅ�̷̵̴̷̷͉͓̰̱̦̜̼̔̈̀̐̉͑̈́̓ͅ�̷̶̵̶̸̷̛͍̙͔͔̘̣̰̔̏̑̀̌̕͜ will be, but its something we will have to see as we go.

I'm a little sad we don't get to be partners again. He never even told me he was leaving. Kind of cold, really. I guess it really doesn't matter. I have a job to do."]

[LOG DATE: 6/11/21

"Didn't take long for it to evolve. It really does change its name in your logs when it evolves. We aren't really sure why it does that since it doesn't respond to the name it gives itself.

It was disorienting just to be around it. How am I supposed to train something like this? I'm kind of dreading having to evolve the others now. I miss working with She."]

[LOG DATE: 6/12/21

It doesn't respond to anything I try to make it do. I think it hates me. And the feeling is mutual. Every time I turn around I feel like I'm forgetting what I'm supposed to be doing with it or why I'm out in the field in the first place.

At least I got SOME data out of it, so today wasn't a total waste.

The data I DID manage to record about it was ţ̴̢̛͎̭͇̤̘̻̰̦̘̻͌̉̂̉̉̆̉͠ͅͅh̶̢̢̫̪͔͉̯̬͔̠͖̣͚̿͛͗̅̓̊͐͝͝ͅǐ̵͍̫̥̭̤̈̒̐̔̔̃̈̈͑̄̚s̸̛͈͇̔̃̈̄̊̎͋́̚̚͘͠ ̶̧̞̣̲̣̻̞͉̭̲̖̠͐͜ͅQ̵̛̥̗̦̹͆̈́̓̀̊̓͛̒͑̓̿̀͜͝�̵̢̯͇͈̘̮̱̜̼̺̜̝̆͊̔̑̊̃̇͘̚͜◣̴̫̙͖͍̪̰̽̈̒̊͌̇́͗͠͝ͅ�̶̙͓͆̈́͠�̵̡̘͉̼̪̰͇̣͙̖̜̑͂̊̑͌͂̒̋͘͠ ̵̛̝̮̊̈̅̓͊́̾̓̌͝h̸̠̙͔̳͙̗̋̿̅̎̚͠͝ą̶̼̺̼̜͍̹̖͙̔̿͌̕s̶̢̧̘͎͔̫̘̙͕̬̅͒̋ ̴̢̺͓̫̯̈́̈́a̶͈̣̫̞͉̥̯̮͕̒͂͋͊̾͝͝ͅ ̷̛͇̲̦͖̙͙͍̓̇͒͂̇̋̍̐̉̈̿b̶̠̑͐̂̔͠͝ä̸̢̺̱́͌̎̂͑̈́̅̾͂͝s̶͖̠͍͓͇̳͖̈́͆̓̾̃̄̕̕͝e̸̜̹̿͆̏͗͒͒̓͐͊̄̂͂̕͝ ̸̨̨̠͇̤̟̝̼͈̱̠̠͈͓͒̓̍̌̋̓́̈͐̕͘s̴̺̗̫̫̙̜͙͒̐̈͆̏̿͛̎̋̏͒̓t̸̛̝̙̫̱̤̣͖̥̳̗͍̿́̐͆̒ą̵̧̨̘̠̰̣͖̭̼̟̟͌̾̈́̋t̶̞̑͆́̔̒́̋̌̀̀̈́̒̕̕͝ ̸̘̋͑͒̿́̓͒͒̄̾̚ͅt̴̘̱̹̯͆̈́͠o̴̥̙̮̟̲̻͒̅͌͗̀͐̈͗͘̕͠ͅẗ̴̡͓̤̮̲̭̙́̓à̵̘̘͖̖̣͕͋̒̈̈́͊͌ļ̸̢̛̼͙̥͎̺͕̺̌̈̀̐̍̀̾͗̆̑͛͘ ̷͓̦͑̇̉̋̅́͝͝ó̶̲̈̑̀̄̍͠f̴̱͍̅̀̒̍̄͗̿͆̿͑̀͋ ̶̡͓͎̅̀̇̔̿͝.̷̢̧͎̭̜̜̘͈̞̦̤͕͐͛͊̈́͌͗̇͜ͅ.̶̻̘͑.̶̱͖̰͇̞̝̰̆̽͆̓̏ ̶̡̺̫̳͍̉̓̎̅͝�̷̪͕̬̻̈́̀͛�̴̢̡͙̰̮̏͛͂̀̄̾͗̃̆̅͒͘͠�̶̢͍͚̝̖̱̗̜̘̣̏̽͘�̵̡̢̞̠͙͕͙̹̘̘̙̟̰̜̥̄̈̓͂̐͑̈́͆̕̚͝�̷̨̧̛͎̭͚͍̦̬͙̉̌̓̿̾͠͝�̴̜̭̼̲̩̻͕̦̫̭̥̮̗͕͕̌̓̋̈́͠�̴̢͚̳̦͍̫̳̦́ͅ�̶̼̮̝̺̗͎̘̜͕͇̖̖̠̞̗̈́̆̏́�̵̢̙̭̲̜̟̦̀͋̉͆̓̔̊̅̋̅́̃̂̃͝ͅ�̸̛̖̱̝̟̯̣̦̺̥̈́̔̈́̚̚�̴̙̳͔̫͔̳̘̗̀̀̏̐͒̃͂͑�̴̧̬̦̖̘͎̤̱͈̂̅̐́͒͝�̷͖͖͇̼̠̉̅̍̅̂̊͂̂̾̍̎̓͑̚͘�̷̧̛͕̹̝͖̌̀̑̀�̵̞͉̬̝̏̎͛͝�̶̘̐̓�̷̨̳͈̲͔̪̫̬̄͑̈́̀̃͜�̴̛̝̦͖͍͔̪̖̝̘͓̝͌̀͊̈́̈̅̎ͅ�̵̖̻͔̦͔̗̗̯͇͈̗̾̍̕ͅ �̴̥̭͚̗̻̦̞͓͚́̈́͐ͅͅ�̶̢͖̙͙̈́͐̂̏͗͆́�̵̬͇͇͖̳̘̪͇͈͎͍̙͙̳̌̒̄͆͌̚͜�̶̨̡̡̛̥͇̘͎̣̱͛͛̽̄̂̐̃͒̑́͜͜͠͠͝�̴̨͖̜̘͔͇͕͕̥̰͊̆̽̈́̓͠͠͝�̴̢̧̛̟̲͍̺͕̲̠̳̩̙̎͆̎̃̈́́́́�̵̧̛̰̹̥͙̖͎̯͔͎͇͓̩̽͑͛̅̾̊̂͝͠ͅ�̶̢̢͉̯͉͎̰̺̩̗̬͓̟̳̈͆̅̒̒͜�̸̨̣̮̔�̶̨̿̈́͋͂̂̂̾͝�̵̛͉͇͇͌́̒́͋̏͛̈̅̽�̶̧̜̹͕̳̺͎̼͓̙̲̦̠̇̀͐̓̎͛̃͛̈̕

]

[LOG DATE: 6/14/21

I can't remember if I did anything at all in the last two days. All my research is gone. I can't stand it. I feel like every day I work with this thing I'm starting from scratch.]

[LOG DATE: 6/15/21

I don't remember writing a log yesterday, but I guess I did. I'm starting to realize that no matter what I do in the day my mind draws a blank as soon as I get home. I know I'm working with a Pokemon that can alter memories. It lets me remember that. But I can't do ANY meaningful research on it. None of my co workers even know what I'm doing at this point, and at this point I don't think I do either.]

[LOG DATE: 6/16/21

This is just how its going to be, isn't it. An endless procedure of waking up in the morning and recalling nothing about the day before. I can't stand this. I can't stand it. I'm afraid of what this is doing to me. If I can't remember anything from day to day am I really still myself? Have I ever known? Just how much has it taken from me already.

I think I understand why he looked at me at the hospital like that. Why it seemed like he couldn't figure out who I was. I get it now. I get it.]

[LOG DATE: 6/25/21

All these logs are so depressing. Cheer up Past Anya. Does it really matter if you aren't making any progress in anything? Miss Cierra is happy, so you should be happy too. ]

[LOG DATE: 6/29/21

None of it really matters, does it? It could be taking these logs from me too and yet it doesn't. Is it toying with me? Is it laughing? Playing with its food.

I don't even know what I did to deserve this. Maybe I do. Maybe I should do something to make sure I do. Just in case. Just to make sure. I wouldn't want to disappoint, after all. ]

[LOG DATE: 7/5/23

I hope it was worth it. Does anyone even know what's happening to me? Do they care?

I wouldn't even know this was happening to me if I didn't have these logs. Maybe I shouldn't be trying to record anything. Maybe I should just surrender to that sweet nothing it wants so badly to show me. I hope it's worth it. I hope it all was worth it. ]

[LOG DATE: 7/3/22

They took it. Finally.

They say the Silph Hybridization program has been a success.

They say that since this Q̴̵̵̶̸̶̡̧̩̭͈̣͕͉̓͋͛͋͂̓̕͠ͅ�̸̸̶̵̸̷̟̟̣̝͓͎͍̈͆̊̌̅̔̆͘͝◣̸̶̷̶̵̷̻͚͓̳̩̖͇̿́̈́̓̒̎̉̓̕ͅ�̷̵̴̷̷͉͓̰̱̦̜̼̔̈̀̐̉͑̈́̓ͅ�̷̶̵̶̸̷̛͍̙͔͔̘̣̰̔̏̑̀̌̕͜ has been deemed too volatile it is to be destroyed.

I wonder how long it took anyone to notice. At least, in the end I managed to learn something. One thing.

That It doesn't matter. ]

[ozinsulation]

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For the sake of our customers, we have purchased premium packaging supplies. That's because we value the safety of your items during transport as much as you do. This assures that the relocation will go smoothly and quickly. You'll have more time to relax and settle into your new home.

8. No more stress

Relocating to a new house may be an extremely trying experience. But if you hire a removal service, you can sit back and relax while the professionals handle all the details.

Having confidence that your possessions are safe is another major benefit of working with us. Knowing that the tough tasks are being taken care of by professionals allows you to kick back and take full advantage of the experience. This will help you maintain a minimum amount of tension throughout this hectic period. Now you can pay attention to the things that are crucial.

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The storage facilities used by OZ Removals are designed specifically for this reason. And in this way, you can be certain that your belongings will remain secure until you're ready to unpack. As you unpack, your new home will become decluttered, which can simplify the rest of the move.

[ahz-associates]

Benefits of a Placement Year at UK University | AHZ Associates

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Typically completed between the second and final year of a degree programme, the student works for up to a year in a relevant industry. This placement year (or'sandwich year') can provide valuable insight into the working world as well as an opportunity to apply your newly acquired degree knowledge in a practical setting.

Benefits of a placement/ Sandwich year in the UK

• Relevant and recent work experience on your CV will set you apart from other graduate job candidates.

• Many placements include a bursary to cover your expenses for the duration of your year in industry. Most students will appreciate the financial boost.

• If you perform well in your placement, your supervisor may agree to write you a letter of recommendation.

• You will have the opportunity to network with interesting people in your chosen industry. This may come in handy after graduation when you're looking for work.

• You may be able to attend training courses alongside your new colleagues, giving you even more work experience.

• A placement year may provide you with insight into an industry that you do not wish to work in after graduation. Not liking your job can also be advantageous, as it may inspire you to pursue a completely different career path.

The Pros and Cons of Doing a Placement Year

Pros-

The most obvious benefit of doing a placement year in the UK is that it will improve your resume. This played a significant role in my final decision to pursue it. A full year of relevant work experience will put you light years ahead of the competition, as the majority of graduates will have none. Spending a year in the field allows you to gain both technical and "soft skills," which are increasingly valued by employers. You've already demonstrated your commitment to your career and your ability to plan ahead by staying in school for an extra year. Employers value candidates who demonstrate this level of commitment to their work.

Working in the field for a year before starting a full-time graduate job is a fantastic idea. In the best-case scenario, you'll find a field you're passionate about and want to work in for the foreseeable future; in the worst-case scenario, you'll realise it's not the right fit for you. Even if that were to happen, you would have learned a lot that you could apply to other situations.

You can grow as a person by broadening your horizons and making friends with people from different walks of life, and the job is an excellent place to meet people from all walks of life. You never know what opportunities might arise in your chosen field as a result of the contacts you make during your year in industry. Companies are eager to hire recent college graduates, and some may even pay for your final year of school if you perform well in your placement year in the United Kingdom.

A placement year provides the opportunity to live in a completely different region of the country, or even the entire world. There are numerous options available both domestically and internationally, so combine your year in business with the opportunity to learn about a new culture or way of life.

Cons-

If your friends are staying at university to finish their degrees, you may be concerned about missing out on the fun of senior year. However, rest assured that your third year will not be filled with wild nights out and lazy, hangover days spent watching Netflix on the couch with your housemates. This is due to dissertations severely interfering with your social life. Although some of your friends may not be present when you return, others may decide to stay and pursue master's degrees or even complete a placement year in the UK.

The first disadvantage of doing a placement year in the UK is finding a placement. For larger companies, the application process frequently involves several stages and can take months. When you reach the end of the process, which typically includes in-person interviews and assessment centres, you will have to travel and may miss classes. Even if this isn't ideal, instructors are often sympathetic and may provide you with the material you'll miss if you explain your situation. You will perform better because you will have a foundation of experience to draw on when applying for graduate jobs after completing similar application procedures during your placement year in the UK.

Some students may have a minor issue because their programme does not include a placement year in the United Kingdom. If you can relate to this and believe it isn't an option, reconsider. Inquire with your course instructor about the possibility of spending a year working in the industry. After all, the instructor has a vested interest in seeing their students' employability improve.

When looking for a UK university that offers a placement year, consider whether the university organises the placement or if you are expected to find your own. Some of the best companies in the UK provide internships to university students and may even hire them after they graduate. Speak with an AHZ Associates representative today to go over your options.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

corey where can i read the httyd books like asap

delfi my Absolute Beloved !!! i am Grinning So Widely holy trash

[also sorry i took so long to get back to you, i took a shower and was in there for like an hour mentally ranting about--that's not relevant and will probably make some people mad or something idk anyways--]

okay imma go in order of books so this is like. Major list for you 😁

how to train your dragon: pdf | audiobook

how to be a pirate: pdf | audiobook

how to speak dragonese: pdf | audiobook

how to cheat a dragon's curse: pdf | audiobook

how to twist a dragon's tale: pdf | audiobook

a hero's guide to deadly dragons: pdf | audiobook**

how to ride a dragon's storm: pdf* | audiobook

how to break a dragon's heart: pdf | audiobook

how to steal a dragon's sword: pdf | audiobook

how to seize a dragon's jewel: pdf | audiobook

how to betray a dragon's hero: pdf | audiobook

how to fight a dragon's fury: pdf | audiobook

bonus: a fun guide that's for teachers to use to teach the book but also has a lot of cool information about vikings as well as world building that i suggest looking at for funsies

*note: had trouble finding a legit / good pdf from six (how to ride...) onward, so those were the best that i could get and you should just be able to download most like the others ??? some websites seemed sketchy but i could be wrong. audiobooks are all completely safe tho

**note: this is weird because they repeat the story like twice ??? like it is the whole story and legit, but then it like starts over once it ends lol

so, the audiobooks are Incredible ! like. no joke. i actually relistened to them back in like. march / april / may, that area and i Loved it ! actually, fun fact, david tennant recorded them and he does a phenomenal job !!! he gets super into character and does different voices for everyone and is just all around Incredible ! they are a pleasure to listen to!

another thing i'll add is that cressida adds her own pictures and i'm pretty sure none of these include her pictures which is sad :/ but maybe some do ! the art is really cute ! she also includes things in the middle of the books like a guide on certain words or phrases and how to say them in dragonese or pages from hiccup's personal guide to dragon's book which gives you, the reader, more information about the dragons hiccup and the gang are facing, seeing, interacting with! the audiobook includes those, but idk about the pdfs!

i hope you enjoy them because these books were like. my childhood. i vividly remember that i once had a (poorly drawn) map hanging on my wall of the world in relation to berk and where all of the different viking tribes were ! the characters are all unique and quirky and wait also

do Not let the silliness of the first few books make you stop because they get so much more mature as they go on. not to make a harry potter reference because screw jkr, but like, you wouldn't put goblet of fire as the first hp book. you gotta work up to the genuine seriousness, you gotta introduce the characters and establish world building and that's what the first three, four, books does ! cressida is a super clever author too, and everything she writes matters, even if it's later on. it's incredible to watch the books mature, i remember reading every book as they came out and being blown away every time. i was just a kid, tho, so rereading / listening to them makes me gape sometimes because wow there are some serious / darker themes that are handled Really Well.

the books also have Incredible representation for their time, imo, especially with gender roles (which is even more impactful when camicazi comes in in book three) and disabilities (fishlegs is a Huge person here and i love him) (toothless also works here too because he has a stutter), amongst other things. and none of these things are ever made fun of in a way that seems legit. the people who make fun of them are the jerks or the villains or the people you aren't supposed to like. it's just. ahhhhh! they're so good and i have Many Feelings i could go on forever about how much i adore these books wow wow wow but i shall stop now so i do not spoil anything major because i am Great at accidentally spoiling lol

fun extra analysis posts i love under cut oops

x

x -- do NOT read this one until you finish the series because major spoilers but Great analysis

x

x to go along with x

x

x

x

not a post but just me here saying that camicazi is an aroace lesbian thanks and also hiccup is on the aro spectrum i don’t make the rules

okay i’ll stop there lol