#not sure what level you're at of things so idk whether this is all stuff you know already

[fluentisonus]

Did you make your silly little outfit? I've been looking for patterns and tutorials and if you have some favorites would you share?

If you bought your silly little outfit, I'm in the market for finding them as well as making them

Hi! Yes I made the coat and the waistcoat of my silly little outfit myself!! I'm glad you like them!

I'm not good enough at sewing to do my own patterns or work fully off actual historical ones unfortunately, so i did them mostly off this pattern for the waistcoat + this one for the frock coat (with a couple small modifications as I went on my part). they're okay as patterns go I'd say, they have the strong benefit in that they're fairly specific in time period + historically focused, so they're not like. any old waistcoat and coat from any time (bc these things change a lot!!) -- although I def remember them being a little unclear in some parts which took a bit puzzling over (for me at least) to sort out what was going on

if you're looking for historical patterns, these guys are really good from what I can tell; although I haven't fully finished anything from them yet I'm currently in the middle of making (with some adjustments for hip/waist ratio lol) these breeches from their pattern and it has been great so far! the added benefits of this one is that they have a blog where they take you through tutorials of some of the patterns step by step with pictures (e.g. the breeches) which has been Really helpful when I've gotten stuck to see it being done. they also are based quite closely off of actual period patterns from what I can tell

If you're better with patterns than I am, there's this invaluable book called The Cut of Men's Clothes 1600-1900 (PDF here) which has actual historical tailor's patterns you can look at, as well as discussion & illustrations of the periods of clothing. This is a really cool book that I look at a lot, but to be honest the actual patterns are a little beyond me at my skill level. Hopefully I'll get there though, I'm working on it!

Not patterns strictly but this is a very cool blog (also here on tumblr with a main here) about sewing historical clothing + the process of sewing it which I have found very cool

[canmom]

reading Brainwyrms by Alison Rumfitt. it's interesting. clearly part of the post-Topside wave of trans lit, with the same 'plugged in to twitter' energy, but way more British about it. which means most of the allusions are very transparent to me. it's a combo of... hardcore kink driven romance as the main arc, in a near-future setting in which TERFism goes further to the point of outright bombings, and a scifi element with alien brain parasites that it's gradually building towards.

compellingly written, I'll give it that for sure - I lay down to read for a bit and before I knew it I'd read like a third of the book. the main character's disaffected, traumatised air is well observed, and the kink doesn't hold back.

I think my reservation with it so far is that it feels a little too much like a polemic blog post about the way things are going. the MC Frankie is a trans woman with a pregnancy kink who survived a bombing at a GIC and now works in social media moderation - it's all stuff that is blatantly Relevant To The Argument, as it were. it's tricky to criticise it for that because it's like, what you're saying is that it's tightly constructed and thematically consistent and that's bad somehow? but I think I've come to feel that I like fiction to bring me something a little new and unfamiliar.

the chapter I most enjoyed so far was actually a more metaphorical, abstract interlude, in which resistance to fascism is cast as becoming 'one mass of queer flesh, which now grabbed and clawed...'; 'faces locked in kisses until they became one face. the cops would try to pull at this mass, but to no avail'. very 'faggots and their friends between revolutions' stuff.

the chapters which are presented directly as social media posts and articles are also sharply observed. i think a lot of fiction in which the internet features heavily suffers from not understanding the internet very well (Hosoda's Belle for example), but for example the chapter 'Curious Cat' where an anonymous person (blatantly Vanya) is sending messages asking for help with a parasite, and getting rebuffed or misunderstood, and the chapter where Frankie relates a murder of an instagram model by a stalker who posts about it to a reddit community devoted to her, read as very real.

a lot of the story is about responding to a terrifying political situation in sexual terms - a flashback chapter depicting Frankie having sex with some terf's pretentious brother ("with each thrust from him, she thought to herself, I am a traitor, I am a traitor to the cause"), or the preface which jokes about how in another world the author would be writing 'cool horror stories about vampires raping werewolves, ones with no subtext at all'. I prevaricate a little on whether this is a compelling examination of a theme that I do find interesting (the mysterious origins of sexual desire) or just edgy for its own sake.

this is an odd novel for me in some ways because while on one level, this is about people who I could very easily be a single degree of separation from were they real, it's also about a facet of life that is still quite alien to me and in many ways I only know about second hand. I've never been to a kink club (that wasn't in an MMO anyway lol), I'm way too much of a nerdy autist shut-in to know what it's like to be someone who would feel put out if she hadn't had sex in a week. so even before the parasite stuff, it's hard to know how much of Frankie and Vanya's stuff is real, and how much is fantasy. is this really how things go between people? it sounds kinda fun, but unlocking the door this far has already taken years.

when I've read books about the crazy lives that American trans girls supposedly live and interesting sex they're apparently having, they've been at a certain remove, the other side of the Atlantic. and this book feels sort of similar, even though I know it's set right on my doorstep. idk, I've never been good at this.

anyway I don't think I want to write fantasy novels so directly about The Discourse of the day, but it's probably good that someone is. that said, it's hard to parse like... ok, it's titled brainwyrms, and 'brain worms' is a common way of describing an obsessive, cultish idea you receive from the internet.

and like if you look at the newspapers, or twitter trans discourse, you certainly could believe that this country is on a rapid slide to putting us in camps. however, my day to day life has been... it's not without hostility, but the average street harasser isn't doing it because of a Guardian or even Mail article. this country has a subculture of deranged weirdos who hate our guts, and a political class who will happily stoke culture war shit to score points, but most normies I've met don't care one way or another that I'm trans - they might mention a family member or friend they know who's also trans. the day to day conflicts are over way more prosaic shit, the landlord vs tenant forever war, or how the kitchen should be cleaned. which of these windows is more informative of the 'overall' state of affairs? not that a more violent terf cult is a bad premise to write a novel around, but a sense of impending doom is a pretty powerful mechanism to keep you scrolling, right?

like in 20, 40 years - will the terfs really be bombing the Tavistock and banning transness, as Rumfitt imagines in her near-future setting preface? or will they go the way of those newspapers in Thatcher's time who smeared the gay movement, just as they smear us today? of passing political obsessions like 'new atheism'? I don't know the half-life of cult shit.

anyway, time to read the rest of the novel, and see how it handles this brew that it's concocted.

[l0vergirlatheart]

Hello! Idk if your requests are open but I just wanted to get this off my head before I forget it😅

I was thinking a sagau with a creator reader who’s secretly a super-genius( iq of a gods level) who sees everything like it’s a hologram?( stuff like math, science, medical, mechanical, strategies, etc…) how do you thing they would react if they got to see from the creators perspective? Who would find it useful? Who would find it more annoying? Who would be impressed about it? How would take advantage of it in battle?

Ah, my requests are indeed open as of right now! when I first read this I thought of that one woman and the random ass math equations meme :sobs: also childe's is short 'cause idk what to do for him...

anyways, this is a cool idea!! chars. used are : Al-Haitham, Childe, and Kaveh. i love Kaveh sm :((<3

start below cut

AL-HAITHAM

Oh, when Al-Haitham first saw you randomly fiddling with seemingly the air, he thought maybe something might be wrong with you. Maybe you were sleep deprived? Sick? Tired? Slightly delusional? You, of course, noticed he was staring at you and sighed.

"Stop staring at me like I'm crazy and just come over here and look." He quickly nodded and obeyed. He would never even think of taking another moment to stop. He quickly approached next to you, and then out of nowhere, suddenly a bunch of light [color] words, symbols, and numbers appeared infront of you two. He looked at them, hen back at you, and then back at them. What were these? So many equations he'd never seen before... You glanced at his confused face and suppressed a laugh.

How cute he is when he is confused, you thought, smiling to yourself. He was trying pretty hard to understand them, though it was all something only you really knew.

He slowly gained the courage to ask, "What... are these..?"

"Well, my lovely little scribe, these are all problems and formulas from which I've learned. I haven't implemented them into Teyvat at all, of course though."

'Lovely little scribe..?' He thought, his face heating up a bit. "I-if you don't mind me asking, why didn't you..?" 'Archons, did I really just stutter.. how embarrassing...'

"Well, there really isn't a reason for anyone here to learn it. I merely use it so could help me control the events of Teyvat easier. There is no need for anyone on Teyvat to learn such a thing, if they do not possess the power I do." You said, smiling at his reaction to his new nickname.

"I.. see.. That is very.. interesting." He said, trying to process it all as he glanced at you, just to see you smiling at him, and quickly looked back at the hologram. He couldn't handle it-- you were just too much for him to handle. [positively, of course. he loved the creator in a lot of ways.]

"Not as interesting as you, love."

"!!!"

Oh archons, you've broke him!

end : 1/3

KAVEH

you have no idea how down bad I am for this man istg

"I'm surprised you've gotten the hang of this already! N-Not that I doubted you of course, but most people don't learn so quickly! N-No that I mean to say you're most people, you aren't!! B-But I don't mean to try and single you out, nor do I mean to mean to say you're the same--" Kaveh tripped over all his words, trying to make sure they weren't going to offend you at all, but he just kept poking holes in each until he heard you let out a light laugh.

"It's alright Kaveh. I know what you're trying to say, thank you. I've just got a nifty little trick up my sleeve."

...Archons, he loved your laugh. It made him feel so giddy.

"Do you mind telling me? I-I just want to se if I could use it to hurry and finish my work faster, not that I mean to use you or anything, but--"

You could sense he was about to go on another trail of thoughts, so you simply smiled and said, "It is not a trick that can be learned, it's more of a power I possess." He nodded, and internally sighed.

"...Come here, let me show you. I'll let you decided whether it's useful or not." You said, motioning for him to stand next to you.

What an honor it is, to be invited next to the Divine Creator, and how important it is... and how I get too! Ah, happy day! He thought, as he happily sped walked his way next to you. What happened next, made him feel as if he was ascending.

You carefully grabbed Kaveh's hand and guided up into the air, and as he tilted his head in confusion as a blush appeared on his cheeks, suddenly words, numbers, problems, and more appeared on thin air! They all had solutions and such, and he could understand most of them because they were the ones you two were just working on, but others had unfamiliar letters and language, with different numbers and much different ways of solving them.

"So? What do you think?" You inquired, looking at him to see his reaction. He was completely astonished. You did all of this in one day?! Not say he was doubting you or anything, but he'd never seen it before! Such complex things that took him and others so long took you merely a minute or two!

"...woah." Was all he could mutter as he stared up at the hologram.

You chuckled, and said, "There's one more thing I'd like to show you..." And you guided his hand to another part of the hologram, as if you were swiping. Suddenly, a bunch of blueprints and diagrams appeared, and he quickly recognized them. They were his future projects he had planned on! He stared at them, then at you, and then just turned red. Both because he was flustered, and because he was blown away.

You'd been thinking about.. me..? And from the looks of it.. you've been trying to.. help me?!

You smiled and squeezed his hand, and he had to muffle a little 'eep!'

...He did not do very well muffling it. You chuckled and whispered in his ear, "You're so cute Kaveh, you know that?"

God, he loved the way his named rolled off of your tounge.

[i love kaveh to a normal amount i swear..]

end : 2/3

CHILDE / TARTAGLIA

"What're you doing?"

"Solving formulas to see which artifacts are best for this fight." You answered, continuing to move and use your hologram.

"A fight is a fight! What're artifacts really needed for?" He groaned, dramatically.

"For you? To do more damage. Some others do better support, off-field, healing--"

"Yeah but isn't doing so much math boringgg?" He drawed out, he just wanted to fight this [boss] already!

"Do you want to win this fight?"

"..Well, yeah..!"

"Then let me check these artifacts."

He whined, dramatically. He didn't really see why you needed that stupid hologram, it was quite annoying... taking up all your attention when he's right there! Sure he can't read half of those equations, but he can entertain you more than that 'floating screen' can! That's for sure!

Though, Childe wouldn't push anymore. You're the creator, whatever you say goes.

"Aand... done! Now use these artifacts and--" You handed him the artifacts before he eagerly put them on and grabbed your hand before you could get caught up in those stupid little symbols again.

"Let's go, Your Grace!!! I don't wanna wait any longer!!" He semi-shouted enthusiastically, holding onto you gently. You smiled, and shook your head lightly, but silently laughed.

...maybe you could let it slide this time.

end : 3/3

[cringelordofchaos]

Common ADHD traits/experiences I've heard of !!

(I was gonna make a post about why I might be neurodivergent but I figured it'd be going a bit too personal. Also this is just easier)

(ADHD is much more nuanced and complex than I may make it appear in this post. A lot of ADHD people don't have a lot of these traits or have traits not mentioned here. For example there are three types of ADHD (inattentive, hyperactive and combined) and most inattentive adhders are not going to be hyperactive lol)

Warning: badly worded (I'm stupid that's my excuse). also I'll go on personal rants as to how some of these may apply to me (whilst I can reasonate with each point listed here I won't go on a rat on all of these)

Physical hyperactivity (inability to sit/stand still (I used to think this meant that people with ADHD were incapable of. Sitting down (while constantly fidgeting or not) for one whole class)(I was an idiot)(I still am)). (Just overall constant , movement (I might have it idk I'm ALWAYS

Excessive talking

Stimming, fidgeting, general and overall repetitive movements (such as flapping hands, pacing, clasping hands together, etc)

Low attention span regarding things that don't garner much interest to you

More likely to be autistic, have anxiety or depression (or generally have other diagnostic conditions)

Ability to Hyperfocus on specific things, at times out of their control

More likely to have a lower Performance in school that most people

Proneness to addiction

Rejection sensitive dysphoria/RSD (really sensitive and afraid to rejection or criticism or disapproval or stuff like that. I'm questioning if I have it and I'm pretty sure I do bc i would have a whole breakdown bc i accidentally had a bad unintentional thought about this cool person I didn't want to hate me)(it's complicated)

Emotional disregulation (easily irritable, excited, stressed, stronger emotions, more likely to lash out, etc)(people with this are usually described to be much more emotional)

restless leg syndrome (except it's permanent lol)

Lower memory spans regarding most things

Forgetting to fulfill basic needs (such as eating, drinking, showering, etc)

Women/AFAB people are more likely to be diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (this of course does not rucking mean afab people can't b hyperactive my god)

Mental hyperactivity (racing/constant/overlapping/repetitive thoughts or stuff like that)

Impulsivity (doing stuff without thinking them fully though or not knowing why)

Sensory issues (sensitivity to sensory output such as noise, brightness, etc)

Easily bored/underwhelmed/understimulated - more likely to want to seek constant dopamine (due to l

Easily overwhelmed (whether itd be due to aforementioned sensory issues, emotional disregulation, rsd or stuff like that)

More likely to be perceived as "childish" (from what I've heard obviously this and many other things listed here don't apply to everyone)

Executive dysfunction (can't do shit at all)(ok it's more complicated than that just Google it up or something)

Having Hyperfixations (things you're DEEPLY invested in for a period of time, it can be a few days, weeks, months, sometimes more than a year, depends rly)(I'm still questioning if I'm neurodivergent but like I'm pretty sure I was in a DEEP hyperfixation mode when it came to sonic for like. A YEAR. like I literally it was literally the only thing on my brain the only thing in my life. and I would get realllytyy excited about learning obscure information about it or infodumping and I would flap my hands bc of how excited and passionate I was Abt it)(man I miss the times when I was so passionate about stuff I liked it was so fun :(( )

Higher/lower levels of empathy (I've seen this moreso been brought up with discussions regarding autism but I've also seen it brought up with ADHD itself too)

Lower levels of dopamine

Impatience

More likely to be a maladaptive daydreamer

Its cause is usually heavily genetic (meaning if your family or a family member has ADHD, you are more likely to have ADHD yourself)

More likely to have insomniac/have general problems with sleep (I'm questioning ADHD. I'm writing this like... Five hours before I'm supposed to wake up for school. Great.)

There is also a higher relevance between ADHD and PTSD

If I missed something important let me know!! Also if you don't know some of he

This post is not meant to be used as a substitute for self nor professional diagnosis, though if you feel like you might have ADHD because of this post I recommend further research and conversations with trusted advisors such as parental figures or therapists/doctors (not me not listening to my own advice)(<- that was me regarding my latter advice)(I'm too scared to tell my parents about it man)(idk why)

Things to note:

ADHD is not just about little elementary school hyperactive white boys !!

There's a lot of things I mightve missed

Not everyone with ADHD has all these traits (obviously)

Some of these traits may be common due to the commonness of ADHD + autism overlap (idk though)

Apparently it's one of the most diagnosed forms of neurodivergence in kids (about 7-10% of kids in the USA are diagnosed with ADHD)(APPARENTLY idk)

There's more but I'm tired right now byeeee

[chaifootsteps]

feels like in a lot of Viv's responses that she's treating people criticizing the portrayal of SA in Hazbin = people criticizing Raph for the art made on a personal acc.

but it's not the same thing. some will take issue with Raph's art, sure, (and so what if they do?) but ultimately the bigger problem is how it is portrayed in the show. calling it a 'preference' or 'not illegal' or 'none of anyone's business' or w/e is not the point - the point is, did Viv approve a sequence that blatantly objectifies Angel Dust when he's being assaulted?

it's so odd to see people defend this like they would fanfiction - 'it's OK to explore dark themes!', 'don't censor art!' etc. Fanfiction is made for a niche audience and sometimes as an expression of the creator working through a thing. Creators obviously should still have the ability to express themselves through art -sometimes the best art is partly autobiographical - but at the mainstream level you have to take more care with what you're doing because more people will see it! There's a world of difference between someone's clumsily written fic on A03 working through their trauma with a couple hundred kudos and a show on Amazon's streaming platform. not to mention there is a tagging system on a03 so the buyer can beware - if there's truly no CW on Hazbin then it means they're taking less care with triggering material than a literal not for profit fanfiction website

It's not like mainstream media that had indie roots should be exempt from this - all kinds of media are subject to thinkpieces about how they portray SA and survivors of SA, because how you represent it matters. there are so many pernicious myths around SA and survivors, creators who have the power of a platform also have the responsibility to think about what they're doing (same with any sufficiently big indie project, tbh, look at the sheer number of bad takes surrounding why Blitzo and not Stolas is totally in the wrong in the whole Stol/tz mess HB has become)

and at the very least, showrunners need the ability to understand criticism will come if people feel like they fumbled it. anyone should understand there will be a diversity of opinions on this; if a showrunner's only objective is 'be praised at all times' or 'never be criticized' then they should probably stay away from contentious topics all together?

the only fair thing I think Viv has said here is that the whole scene hasn't come out yet and to reserve judgement for then - but I think it's totally understandable why people think early indications are Not Good. the second thing is I think she mentioned no one should have to disclose whether they've been SA'd or not before working on a scene like Poision. Which is fair - but Raph did disclose that info, and voluntarily (and instead of saying it was no one's business, Viv either lied on their behalf or outed them to score a point. Is it bad to force people to disclose whether they've been SA'd or not, Viv, given you're apparently OK doing it to your staff?).

idk, I just think there should maybe be some oversight through due diligence on a sensitive subject, even for survivors of SA when working on scenes like this? or at least there should be if you're going to claim you care about the topic and are trying to push boundaries with your art. if you don't care, say as much.

It wouldn't be much better to see Viv admit she just wanted edgy dark stuff in her show, but man, it would at least be honest

It's all a mess, on Viv's side and the fandom's. Viv keeps saying that the scene will make everything clear and speak for itself, but if that were true, why couldn't she just let it do that?

The answer, of course, is because she's Viv. The slightest bit of criticism and she loses it.

[ivy-plays]

Ik I already did one request but I love ur posts sooooo can u pretty please do like blitzo and anyone u wanna add headcannons what there like during ✨spicy✨🥵🌶️time and if u don’t do nsfw that’s ok just some dating headcannons thank uuuuuuu

Here’s a meme for your time

Of course dear! It won't be too explicit bc we'll. I'm not used to writing anything explicit but this is right in my skill set lol. And thank you for the meme! I now want dinosaur ravioli 😔

Plot: request

Raiting: 16+/m

Reader: gn bc y'all know why lol

Style: head cannon/ bullet points

Warnings: like. 1 cuss word I think but the whole second half is spicy head cannons so. Read at your own descrrssion I'm not your mama and can't tell you what to do

I'm just doing Blitzø in this one bc I haven't written anything like this before so I want to make sure it's well received before I write for everyone else lol.

Blitzø:

Basic relationship stuff:

Very chaotic

And I mean VERY

You would naturally probably work for him either after or before y'all become a couple.thats up for you to decide.

Like Loona, he wouldn't yell at you or blame you when something goes wrong on a job .

And speaking of when y'all are on jobs he always has an eye on you and tries to stay close to you,not because he doesn't think you would be able to defend yourself. He definitely knows you can.

(which may or may not turn him on . Anyway)

He just is protective of the things and people he loves due to being afraid to lose anyone else he cares about.

You have to sit through his hours long rants about horses and his..."research" ....

You become another parent to Loona. (Who she likes slightly more and y'all laugh at how pissed off Blitzø gets about it lol)

It would be Blitzø and you who went to go steal Stolaz grimware (or however tf you spell it idk man)

Blitzø was very hesitant when it came to the whole sleeping with Stolaz thing ,but you told him you didn't care bc you knew that he didn't have feelings for the owl. (Yet)

Stolaz would probably rope you into the deal as well bc mmmm plot

Anyway.

Being in a relationship with Blitzø will be chaotic and challenging at times. (Like when he starts to doubt himself and whether or not he's good enough for you. Good enough to be happy.) But. You're always there for each other and it all works out in the end.

(I also think in the end you two would bring Stolaz into your relationship after the both of y'all realized you had feelings for the owl and talked it over with each other before bringing the idea to Stolaz)

Now. ✨Le spicy bits ✨

SIR KINK

I really do think Blitzø would have a massive authority kink and would want you to call him sir.

Mans likes to feel in control.

Now on the flip side of that. I do think Blitzø would be a switch but with a heavy preference on being on top.

Like. If you were to beg him enough he might let you top him or if he is tired enough.

But even then he still has some level of control over you and is telling you what to do .

That's just how it is. I don't make the rules lol

I also think (based off of lines said in sertin episodes as well as the pilot) that he would be into bondage and a masochism/saidism.

Definitely prefers to do the tying and not the one to be tied up. Again. He likes to have control.

And be prepared bc mans has a whole stash of shit like whips (of all different shoes and materials.) Gags, many different things to restrain you with. (Handcuffs,rope, sashes, his own hands)

He would also be a big damn tease. Like. I have a feeling Blitzø could get off just off the way you squirm and beg for him to stop messing around and fuck you already.

10/10 would blind fold you.

Throat fucking *cough cough clears throat* what was that??? I didn't hear anything.👀

[polyamorousmood]

I'm open minded about polyamory for other people and even curious about it myself but I feel can't date non-monogamously in my town because

My dad is poly so I'm (perhaps irrationally) worried I'm gonna like accidentally end up in a polycule with my own dad

I haven't had my sexual debut yet and I feel like coming to the table with a lot of sexual experience under your belt is kind of a prerequisite for being accepted in the community unless you're explicitly looking for sexless relationships which I'm very much not, I want to have sex I just haven't yet

Relating to #2. Given my lack of experience I doubt I'll be very good in bed at least at first and I worry that whoever that happens with will be making negative comparisons about me in their head vs other partners of theirs who can do more for them

I'm not 100% sure what this is asking, since there's not a question in here🤨, but I'll take it as a general "what are your thoughts on this situation"-type thing.👍okay co

Tell your dad hi from this blog, that's cool. And! no worries about whether your dad will be chill with the poly stuff or not! so that's nice. I suppose the relationship could get into weird territory, but honestly, most people date mostly their own age, and there's, like, AT LEAST a 15 year age gap between you and your dad (and like probably more but idk your dad's life👀), so it doesn't seem likely, but you can always make it clear you'd want to know at least the identities of the whole polycule if its something you're worried about. That's a totally reasonable standard to hold 🤷‍♀️no biggie.

Idk if its because of your dad's relationship or because of the internet or where exactly you got the idea polyamory is inherently hyper-sexual, but... poly relationships can largely function like mono relationships. Now, people are still worried about the big "virginity" thing in mono relationships, too, don't get me wrong. But frankly? That's all bullshit. In whatever relationship. By and large, people aren't going to be weird about it (and if they're the type of person to be weird about it, probably not a great first experience anyway! So just move on!). In all likelihood, here's how the subject should go. You meet someone 🤝, you go on a date 💐or two🎥. Someone asks what the other person wants from the relationship💗?🍆?, for your piece, you bring up that you're new to the sex stuff but you're looking forward to it (just like you did in this ask) and if you can, provide a rough timeframe (you wanna jump right in? you wanna give it a few more dates? do you wanna try "smaller" things before you jump to Losing Your Virginity™️and whatever that means for you and your orientation?) and then if that person has any reservations they mention it and you guys figure it out. The same conversation in a poly relationship probably includes to what level the rest of the polycule is involved and stuff, but otherwise the process should be about the same whether you're dating a mono or a poly person. If you're "joining a polycule" as in "dating one is dating everyone" (which isn't all of them) then you might have to have this conversation a few times or in some sort of group? But its going to be hard to get into a "dating one is dating everyone" situation without actively trying to, and if you're just "open" to it, I see no reason to try for that lol

Bruh. Listen, babygirl, I get that urge, but your performance matters less if they can be sexually satisfied by someone else. That gives you the ability to completely fuck it up the first couple times without worrying that this person is just stuck in sexual frustration! You're free! 🕊️ Plus, a poly person has more considerations with scheduling time with you than your standard mono person (partner doesn't want them out of the house too much, or no free bed to do stuff in, etc), so things kind of can't move super fast a lot of the time. But also, as someone who is in the game. I'm 🔫shooting completely straight with you by saying there is A LOT more to sex than someone being "technically good" at it. There's affection and mood and kinks and preferences and spit viscosity and-- and most importantly you get something different out of it with everyone. Poly people especially aren't looking for the same thing every time. Sex is really, really, really personalized, and you can't escape that. You won't be able to do everything exactly like that person's other partner(s). But the other partner(s) also won't be able to do things exactly like you. And what you learn that's good for that partner, someone else is going to hate. Send an ask off-anon if you want specifics (promise not to look at your profile, just don't want to give everyone free smut😜😏) but I promise you even the things "everyone likes" has a significant following of people who would just as soon never have that happen to them. Being good at sex is not so much learning specific things and applying them to everyone as it is learning what your partner likes and applying it to them specifically. I prommy. I literally cannot emphasize enough that having had a lot of sex does not make you better at it with a new person. There have been actual studies according to a community college professor I had. ALL you need to worry about at first is communicating what you're comfortable with trying, and making sure your partner's cool. That's it. Everything else will work itself out I SWEAR🙋

If all this is that big a deal just... don't date a poly person. Like you just don't gotta. Easy fix. We're happy to have you if you're here, but its not for everyone and that's fine. Even if you want it eventually, you can semi-casually date mono for awhile first. This is all fine. Quit yo stressin'.

[bleedgreenblood]

Every time you post about avoiding certain types of relationships, it makes my heart drop because I know deep down it’s describing my relationship with my bf. We’ve been together for almost four years, and because there’s been no drama or craziness, I’ve told myself that we’re happy. But the longer it goes on the less I feel like it’s a relationship that will ever go the places I want it to go. Idk if it’s because I let so much stuff slide at first because I didn’t want to rush things or crowd him, but truth be told we’re really just living separate lives and calling it love. Meanwhile I can’t remember the last time he REALLY wanted to talk to me or make plans with me or care about me in any way that wasn’t somehow for his benefit like a lot of your posts say. I don’t know why or how this is all hitting me now, and I feel bad because it’s not like he’s suddenly acting different. But then any attempt I’ve made to talk to him about our relationship, he either says two words that breeze past the problem or he gets defensive. Hard as it is, I feel like we just aren’t right for each other but it’s also hard to think about walking away because I do love him and used to think he was my forever. Do you have any advice?

Hi, anon! Firstly, I’m humbled that you’ve found my insight valuable enough to trust me with such a personal problem, and I’m happy to provide guidance if you think it would be helpful. Before I proceed, I want to emphasize that my opinion here should of course be taken with a grain of salt, as we don’t know each other (to my knowledge, lol), and therefore my feedback is based on this very high-level summary of your relationship. But since you're asking, buckle in, because I do have a lot to say about this.

My bottom-line takeaway is that it does sound like your relationship has run its course, and even though it (respectfully) sounds like you agree with this on some level, I’m still really sorry, because I know that doesn't make it any less difficult. I’ve been there myself, and can very much relate to that painful and confusing moment where you realize that someone you once saw a future with may not be the right fit for you after all. For whatever it’s worth, I promise you’re not alone in this situation.

One of the hard things about starting a relationship at a formative time in our lives is that we often don’t know how to start real conversations about, or how to look for, fundamental compatibility with another person. We instead allow ourselves to get swept up in surface-level attraction, i.e. finding the other person good looking, creating fantasies of what a relationship would look like based on our own and the other person’s desires versus what they’re actually showing us they’re capable of, and attaching an inflated sense of importance to common interests (Example: "We both love Game of Thrones and going to breweries," which, sure, are fun things to share, but don’t speak to true compatibility in any way). Healthy relationships are built on several key pillars, such as communication, compromise, quality time, and effort, and since there are a myriad of ways to do (or not do) any of the above, it’s critical to have real conversations about whether the way you each approach those pillars are compatible with one another.

When we don’t enter relationships with this level of intentionality, the problem is that time and circumstances inevitably put the relationship – which unbeknownst to us, has a fairly shallow foundation – to the test, so it’s easy for this sudden realization of glaring incompatibility to “sneak up on us".

This makes it even more natural to yearn for “the way things used to be”, and therefore to then hold out hope that perhaps things will “return” to a state where things still "felt okay" if given enough time. But two things on that: 1. Time on its own doesn’t do or count for shit, quite frankly. The only thing something "lasting" over time requires is complacency and stagnancy, so "giving something time" without any action, conversation, or change, is not a testament to something working out. And 2. The likelihood that a relationship will ever “go back to the way it used to be” is virtually impossible, for many reasons.

For starters, you’ve both since changed in some way – if not in hundreds of little ways – since you first got together, so neither of you is going to just suddenly revert to who you "used to be". that's not how time or human nature work. Secondly, we tend to romanticize “the way things used to be” because we associate that time with ourselves being happier in the relationship, but often, if we were to look at things critically, we'd find that the relationship/our partner truly wasn’t all that different or "better" during this time. For example, is it really a new thing that your partner isn’t: communicating with you openly, expressing an interest in the things that are important to you, carving out quality time for the two of you, consistently supporting you, etc. – or can you look back and observe a long-standing pattern of these behaviors? I think our knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Well, of course they used to do those things, otherwise why would it be bothering me now, but not before?” The answer is "simple”: because your standards, needs, or your awareness of your own needs, have elevated.

It’s completely normal, and healthy, for your needs and standards to evolve, change, and elevate over the course of your life. Unfortunately for relationships that were started while you were still getting to know yourself and your needs, especially relationships that were rooted more in attraction or those superficial commonalities, there’s a good chance that your needs will outgrow what the relationship is – and was ever – truly capable of. Maybe it was acceptable to the version of you 4 years ago that your partner fit you in their schedule as he found the time, but now you want a partner who eagerly prioritizes you. Maybe it was acceptable to the version of you 4 years ago that you and your partner only shared surface-level attraction, i.e. sexual chemistry and similar taste in TV/hobbies, but now you crave a more substantial connection rooted in intellect and communication. Maybe it was acceptable to the version of you 4 years ago that you and your partner had different levels of desire to spend time together, but now you want a relationship where quality time is key. It is in no way wrong for your needs and standards for a happy relationship to evolve as you evolve as a person; and frankly, he's not "wrong" to have his needs and standards, either, as some people truly are content and comfortable with having a surface-level attachment they can leave on the back burner while they live their lives primarily for themselves. So, it's not a matter of who is right and who is wrong; it's a matter of "are you two compatible?"

Now, if you look back and feel like your partner truly did used to meet the needs you feel are currently unmet – i.e. open communication, a vested interest in your hobbies and passions, eagerly making time for you, providing you with support – this also doesn’t fare well for the health of your relationship, because it suggests that either, 1. These actions were in some way performative - meaning that he only put in a certain degree of effort until he was certain he “had you”, at which point he elected to stop trying so hard because he felt he could get away with it, or 2. That these actions are inconsistent and conditional – meaning that he communicates with, supports you, and makes time for you when it's easy or convenient for him. While this "me first" approach might work for some couples, I personally believe that relationships built to thrive and last aren't about living your life for yourself and hoping your partner interferes with your personal best interest as little as possible. It takes collaboration around those aforementioned pillars -- perhaps most importantly, communication -- which, according to you, he will not meet you halfway on, despite your attempts.

When we choose to communicate, or not to communicate, we're really answering a question of, "Do I care about and respect this person’s needs and feelings, and the health of our relationship, enough to put in the time and effort to talk things out, even if it means stepping outside of my comfort zone, making myself vulnerable, and having difficult conversations?" So, to me, choosing not to communicate is not only a detriment to a healthy relationship, but it’s a sign of selfishness and disrespect. We call our partners our “significant others” for a reason – because this person should be significant from all others in providing us with a certain level of care, support, company, and conversation. If you find yourself unable to turn to your boyfriend for those things, I just can’t see how he could possibly fill that very important, special role in your life.

Relationships, like anything else worth having in life, need to be earned. No one is entitled to a place in your life simply because they've been there for a while, because they used to meet your standards, or even because you care about or love one another. As hard of a truth as it is to accept, love alone is never enough to carry a relationship, because for some people, love is just a feeling they have for you, or for the benefits you add to their life. Real, lasting love is actionable. It knows, sees, and understands you as you are. It wants to spend time with you. It seeks ways to support you. It desires to build something lasting with and for you.

I'm so sorry that it sounds like this relationship doesn’t have the longevity you hoped it did. But I do truly believe that the while pain of losing the attachment is real, it is temporary — however, the pain of your needs and standards not being met over time will only grow, wear you down, and rob you of the opportunity to meet someone who will meet your needs and standards. And the right person won't make you wonder, beg, wait, or hope for their affection, attention, support, or communication. You are worthy of having your needs met. Read that again. You. Are. Worthy.

[psychewritesbs]

Hi! First of all, sorry if this ask doesn't make much sense since I'm just kinda throwing this all out here, but this has been bouncing on my mind for a while now and I'm not sure how to put all of it together and thought that maybe you could help haha.

So about the whole mind-soul-body plot and how they interact with each other in JJK. I've been having a string of thoughts about this that's been getting bigger:

-The three clans. I don't know where Gege's unpredictability may take this, but the fact that he left the Zen'in's spot in the Big 3 undecided (ch152) + the Kamo clan up in the air makes me think this plot's kind of important (along the three vengeful spirits, tying the past with present, although that's heavy on theory lane so don't mind it much). And I was thinking, what if each clan are meant to represent/relate to mind (Gojo) body (Zen'in) and soul (Kamo)? When were the 3 big jujutsu clans even founded and why are they the ones? Something about jujutsu's pinnacle being the balance between mind-body-soul?

For example, Gojo's DE targets the mind, Gege himself acknowledged how it's interesting that both sorcerers with a heavenly restriction about enhancing one's body are coincidentally Zen'in (+ the clan's techniques having so much to do with body parts) and this is more of an unreasoned relation, but so far people related to the Kamo (including Yuuji through his half-brothers and Kenjaku) have had the topic of one's soul and their own individuality come up — if they're more curse or human, if they're more duty or their family (Noritoshi).

-> this also led me to Jung too. I'm no expert whatsover so I'm not going to expand on this, but I can also kinda see how the Gojo can represent the persona, Zen'in the shadow and Kamo the self. Since you're the expert in this area I'd love to hear your thoughts and if I'm completely off.

-Lastly I (and many more people I guess) have noticed that from the start of the CG, Gege's been putting Yuuji, Megumi and Yuuta kind of in a level of importance of their own. Not only narratively but also visually, with some panels and art featuring the three of them together/in a trio composition. And while I have another whole separate set of thoughts on "Gojo's successor/next strongest", I do believe Yuuta's relation to the Gojo, Megumi/Zen'in and Yuuji/Kamo has to do with this.

So my mind makes this whole relation between the body-mind-soul topic, the three clans, Yuuji-Megumi-Yuuta (something about the future generation who are against the beggining/cycles coming to an end?) and even jungian psychology but idk how to make a proper statement about where this might lead. Like, I see /something/ there but I'm not sure what, and I was hoping you could help as much as you can because it's rotting my brain lmao.

I'm sending you this because I really love your posts and thoughts on JJK. I'm not sure/can't remember if you've talked about something similar to this though, so if you have I'd love to read it if you can link it!

Oh! I see and love to see the wheels turning lol.

This is fun stuff! Thank you for sharing anon.

idk I just feel like, even if Gege does not necessarily expand upon this theme, I think you're onto something there with the whole symbolism for each clan, and that the reason they are the 3 major clans has to do with their relationship to mind is body is soul.

There's something here about how dominating their particular subject, whether mind, body or soul, is what led them to become recognized.

I did try to reframe your thoughts but my agenda sort of failed loooool 🫠. But I'm going to share my logic anyways because my rambling might help you clarify your own thoughts.

Depth Psych mini lecture to taco'bout it under the cut.

Ok so I see it more as:

Zenin is mind.

Gojo is soul.

Kamo is body.

But first, I think it's important to mention that the way Gege uses mind is body is soul confuses me sometimes.

Thing is, we are ideally meant to think of it as if this holy trinity (3) makes up one whole together (4). This "whole" is called the Self in Jungian terms, and it is thought to be the entirety of our existence (mind (includes the shadow) + body + soul).

Also, from a numerology and esoteric standpoint, you also want to consider that four (the Self) symbolizes stability and order, where three (mind + body + soul) is harmonious but not balanced.

AND, sometimes it feels like soul is the Self and encompasses mind + body.

Confusing, right?

It only gets more confusing, but I think this maxim itself needs a reframe that is more in tune with the actual Holy Trinity which states that:

The Father (mind) is not the Son (body) is not the Holy Spirit (spirit), BUT the Father (mind) is God (soul), the Son is God (soul), and the Holy Spirit (spirit) is God (soul).

I do have to say that, if all of these different aspects are indeed aspects of God, then why does the Father ≠ the Holy Spirit ≠ the Son.

If that made any sense at all lol. Thanks for attending this mental gymnastic session and sorry for the late warning.

Like I said... confusing. It doesn't help that Jung was also sort of contradictory when speaking about what the Self was, although there is a general agreement that the Self is the soul as it guides the mind and body through reality. So perhaps it's more accurate to say that the soul = mind + body + spirit.

Anyways, I'm probably thinking too much into this LOL.

Let's start with mind

While the visual of the iceberg to represent the mind is more popular, in Jungian terms the mind is more akin to a lightbulb or a lit candle, right? Everything the light touches is what you are aware of that you are aware about the world. It's also the personality as it is shaped by the interaction between outside factors and your inner world.

But then there's the shadow side of the mind, everything that the light does NOT reach. Not only is it everything that the conscious mind doesn't know that it doesn't know about the world, the shadow is also a sort of repository for any traits and qualities that the conscious mind is not able to accept about itself.

Why am I saying all of this? While I totally agree that the Zenin could represent body because of the whole heavenly restriction bit, to me, because 10 Shadows is the clan's most important technique I think I just made this up but I feel like Gege does imply this lol, we're meant to think of Zenin as mind.

I think it's also relevant how Megumi is undergoing ego death and how you can track his development through nuances like his two divine dogs (black and white) becoming one (grey). This is all mind stuff.

@blog-of-hubris has thoughts on the whole heavenly restriction bit that I am not sure I can do justice.

Then we have body

To me, I am interpreting this way because the clan's cursed technique is related to blood manipulation. Although there is also something here about blood symbolizing the animating principle of the body, so I can see how it could also represent the soul.

Not my agenda crumbling to pieces LOL.

I also love the whole idea you mention around how blood is thicker than water and that's what binds us to certain people.

Soul is next

Admittedly, this is the weakest part of my agenda lol. Something about Gojo being all-seeing and able to have access to all information, I can see why you'd think this is mind given how Gojo's technique works. But to me, that feels more like a byproduct of how Gojo experiences the world and makes sense of it with his mind.

I also think it's pretty relevant that Gojo appears to be able to recognize souls.

Perhaps this even sheds more light on how Gojo knew what Megumi would say about saving Yuji as one anon asked before.

Anyways, that's my shameless agenda.

So my mind makes this whole relation between the body-mind-soul topic, the three clans, Yuuji-Megumi-Yuuta (something about the future generation who are against the beggining/cycles coming to an end?)

This is neat! Anyone reading this got any ideas? I feel like my thoughts may or may not be helpful.

Like if we take Yuji (Kamo), Megumi (Zenin) and Yuta (Gojo)... are you thinking about their character arcs? or the larger picture?

I don't know if this helps you but what I'm getting out of the big picture is the idea that there is a wholeness that needs to be achieved.

I'm thinking of how Gege already told us only one of these kids will survive this ordeal (is mind, body or soul surviving?) and also about how a Gojo and a Zenin ancestor respectively once killed each other in battle. So there's something here about how these factions are at war with each other when in reality they are part of a larger whole.

Which is a neat idea if you think about how Nori once told Megumi he would become the pillar that supports the three families.

In more practical terms, think about how your body has a consciousness in its own right that your mind might have a tendency to ignore because it has its own agenda.

Another important detail to keep in mind is that in Jungian Psych, the Self is kind of a dick lmao. Ok not really a dick but... let's put it this way: if your mind has an unbalanced attitude that needs to be corrected (i.e. ignoring the body's wisdom), the Self will orchestrate reality so that your mind and body move into specific experiences according to what the mind needs to learn. The Self doesn't care if these experiences cause suffering, it merely has a function and that function is achieving wholeness and the becoming of who you are meant to be.

So whomever survives has a big task ahead of them in terms of making meaning out of what happened in the past, how the conflict even started, and what can be done differently.

Unfortunately, life doesn't always give us neatly wrapped, happy endings. So I fully expect some ambiguity in what Gege wants his audience to take away from his work--after all, he's writing about meaning-making.

Hey anon! Thanks for the comments and for sharing your thoughts with me. Hope this helped and do keep me updated :)

[bthump]

Would Griffith and Guts ever actually work as a pair or even just friends? Even if they got past their own issues, would that relationship had any chance of blossoming into something more? I remember reading someone talking about if they got their issues resolved they would just found out they are completely incompatible witch each other. The only thing holding them together is basically their miscommunications. Idk what to think about it myself

Well I definitely disagree with whoever's take you were reading. I absolutely think they're very compatible interpersonally.

Granted I can see why others might not see that, because we don't get many scenes of them just hanging out - rather we're told that they happen all the time, and we have to fill in the blanks ourselves.

But we are told that they happen. Guts has visted Griffith in his fancy nobleman room enough times to notice when he buys new books. Owen's strongest memory of Guts is seeing him at Griffith's side all the time, chilling with him. Griffith's climactic memory of Guts when he's about to sacrifice him is a mundane moment where they're just hanging out after a battle.

We don't get to see these moments, but they're given a lot of narrative significance, because they reflect Guts and Griffith's relationship.

They're comfortable with each other - the way Guts casually wants to visit Griffith after Zodd and has to be punched out so he doesn't interrupt the noblemen visiting him already. Relatedly, the way Griffith's ascension into the nobility drives a little artificial wedge between them that frustrates both of them (see Griffith bitching about the noblemen when he visits Guts on the stairs). They hang out and share porn before Griffith asks Guts to kill a guy lol. Their first bonding moment was a waterfight in which Griffith was naked. Guts spends like half the time between the rescue and the Eclipse holding Griffith. They're pretty emotionally and physically intimate.

They might not seem that compatible at a glance, but there's a reason "opposites attract" is a cliche.

Also on a surface level I think they make sense as good friends (or more) honestly - they actually remind me of several friendships I've had lol. As someone who, like Guts, has very little ambition, is chill, down to earth, and a bit introverted, and has several much more ambitious, more charismatic, more sociable friends, it's a pretty workable dynamic. I do more stuff and get more opportunities to try new things with those friends, and they get to relax and enjoy a low pressure environment with me. And I think in the story we can see shades of that vibe.

Though that said, I don't think it really matters whether they'd make sense as good friends/lovers if they were real, because a) the world is a vast place and contains multitudes and I'm sure you can take any two types of people and find them in a happy relationship somewhere, and b) it's a fictional story. We're essentially told that they love each other and had the potential to be very happy together in some capacity, we occasionally see glimpses that show us that they work well together interpersonally, and that's all we should need. If it goes against what someone might expect from a real life couple, well, that reflects more on their worldview and their experiences than it reflects on the characters in the story, imo.

If you're interested in more takes on their dynamic and how they could work as a couple btw, I have a headcanons tag where I've discussed them as a ship quite a bit in more hypothetical ways. And I have a couple posts of compiled links to griffguts headcanon posts here and here.

Anyway thanks for the ask!

[firelord-frowny]

stuff i wanna ask at my job interview tomorrowww (paraphrased, idk exactly how i'll word the questions just yet lmao and ill have to figure out how to word some of them in such a way that it doesn't sound rude/condescending/pretentious/arrogant/etc)

-Have students participating in your program gone on to pursue higher education and/or careers as musicians? -Do you have any practices or mechanisms to keep track of the progression of a student's skills, and/or to keep track of a teacher's effectiveness? -Is there a curriculum in place that teachers are asked to follow? If so, who designed the curriculum? How long has it been in place? -What kinds of performance opportunities are offered to the students, and/or how often do they perform? -Do students participate in local solo&ensemble festivals? -Does this program function as an actual classroom course that students receive grades for? Or does it function more like an extra curricular activity? If students receive grades, how are those grades determined? Is there a rubric or some other sort of guideline for giving grades? -Who do the teachers report to? As in, who would my most immediate "boss" be? What are my responsibilities toward that person? What responsibilities does that person have toward me? -What protocols are followed in the event of a student missing their lesson? -What protocols are followed in the event of a teacher being absent? -How do you vet the teaching and playing abilities of a potential teacher before hiring them? Obviously a mere interview can't demonstrate whether or not someone is actually a skilled teacher/player, so what steps do you take to make sure you're not hiring someone with shoddy technique and poor pedagogical skills? -What level of professionalism do you expect out of your teachers as far as their playing ability?

i also might mention: One thing I feel is missing from many music education programs is a way for teachers to earn credibility by showcasing their own skills. Out of all the teachers I've had over the years, I've only seen two or three of them actually perform anything while I was studying with them. This resulted in me having put a great deal of trust (and money) into teachers that I later found out weren't actually very good players.

So, I would LOVE to be involved with an organization that proves its worth by having the teachers occasionally demonstrate their own abilities in performances that can help to inspire students, and prove to parents that the program is worth their time and money.

Similarly, another reason why I believe teachers should perform for their students and the students' parents is simply so that the students/parents can have an opportunity to enjoy professional-quality performances of classical music, which is a very rare treat in this county. So like. If i were to work for this organization, I would really really really want to collaborate with other teachers to put on some excellent performances every now and then.

[tuiyla]

I don't know how much you know about the fandom from the time when glee was still on air. Naya and Heather were always loved, brittana was always loved, but Heather never really talked about brittana and she was getting shit from the fans for that. Naya on the other hand talked about Santana's gay journey constantly and about brittana a lot too. It'd always just seemed like Heather didn't find it as important as Naya had. There are rumours it was because of some bts stuff between Naya and Heather and then there was Heather's longtime on and off boyfriend who then became her baby daddy and husband and so with all that Heather didn't seem too interested in fawning over brittana. But that's all rumours, the point is, after Naya passed away Heather realized real fast that this is her responsibility now, that this is her part in keeping naya's memory alive, and she really didn't have to take on that responsibility but she did and I think we should be grateful. She's all we have left now.

(btw those podcasts episodes are far in the future now but I'd imagine Heather will be invited to some important ones, wedding, maybe IKAG, maybe rumours, since the podcast will definitely be Naya heavy in the way the previous podcast wasn't and Heather is the only one who was really there in those majorly important scenes. We're going to be emotional messes) (btw again aside from the perfection that was Heya on showmance i thought Heather recently on the new pod was her best appearance on the pod yet and IMHO she should become a semi permanent third host)

Okay Anon, I realize you're trying to be helpful by providing this summary and I'm appreciative of the intent, but I just take such issue with hearsay and the sense of entitlement fandoms often feel towards cast members. And I'm not trying to put all that on you by explaining this under your ask, but I just have to clarify a few things.

Neither Naya nor Heather ever owed the fans anything. I love actors who champion queer ships as much as the next bitch but it's not their responsibility. It never was and never should be. Naya was an angel for what she did for Santana's story, on-screen and off, and I for one feel like the community is forever in her debt for how she pushed for things and then spoke out about it. The GLAAD tribute was what she deserved. I find it appalling that Brittana fans would give Heather shit. No, I wasn't around the Glee fandom as it was airing, but friends I've made in the fandom were and I've chatted a lot about things like Heather's treatment during the Bram debacle and in general. Particularly in light of her ATWYRM episode where she talks about the spotlight not having been something she actually wanted and feeling uncomfortable with the expectations, I think we should know better than to put that on her.

And I know you say she didn't have to take on the responsibility of captaining the ship after Naya's passing, but everything you describe earlier says that she did. "Heather realized real fast that this is her responsibility"? I mean wow that does not sit well with me. And again I'm not saying all this against you, it's going out to the portion of the fandom who do feel entitled to Hemo taking that on. No. Simply just no. If she had zero responsibility before she sure does have none now, having lost a friend. We lost a performer in Naya, Heather and others lost a friend they loved. So if Heather never wanted to publicly talk about Brittana again, that'd be totally understandable. She did decide to pick up the mantle, to a degree, and that's commendable but that's her choice. Not something that ever should have been expected, something that's treated as second best now that Naya's gone, or something she finally did.

I'd also just like to note that "Heather didn't find it as important as Naya had" just feels wrong on many levels. Not because it's not true, idk about that and to my previous point, we're not entitled to knowing whether that's true. It feels wrong because assuming anything about these actors feels wrong, and it also feels wrong because the meat of the storyline and indeed the PoV has always been put on Santana. So if we were to expect one of them to be vocal about it, not that we should, then Naya is the logical choice. As for hearsay about BTS, the only "rumour has it" I'm willing to acknowledge is the banging mashup.

I very much doubt Heather would guest near IKAG and honestly, maybe it's best she doesn't, but I do hope she appears often as the three of them are a joy to listen to. Just wanted to note that as well at the end here. I realize all this may sound harsh and I don't mean to be harsh towards you; again, I acknowledge that this is summary is meant to be helpful. I'm just grateful every day that I wasn't part of the Glee fandom while the show was airing because even fans nowadays are acting so poorly and entitled so I truly wouldn't have been able to cope with the height of it. It just feels wrong.

[ocd-kenobi]

I liked what you wrote in the update! The thing about Obi-wan's anxiety on whether he is meant to be a jedi is quite in character. It makes sense that he needs eyes and minds other than his own that can give him a better authority on whether he is doing the right thing. Also yes 6 pages of anxiety is A Lot, maybe they just boosted his insecurities for the sake of like teen angst??? (As it is catered to a ya audience??)

What do you think about the other 2 times he says he might or might have left the order and his reasoning behind those?

The one with Satine is a bit difficult for me to understand I think, because idk he says it to her after she makes a dying confession. So it's hard for me to analyze that because I don't know if it's the sentiment of a man who's about to lose someone he loved or if he had genuinely thought about leaving the order for her. In which case he has had other love interests that he's turned away so. Idk I want to hear your thoughts on the whole thing.

I've seen it argued that Padawan "boosted his insecurities" as you put it for the teen audience, but that's not exactly what I think. I think it's a believable amount of anxiety for Obi-Wan as he ends up (and his growth over the course of the book creates a believable amount of unhealthy letting-go obsessions for him as well); it's just surprising to me that so many pages of the 400 book exist just in his head. It's the only Star Wars book I've read that's exclusively from one person's point of view without another person's way of thinking or doing to offset the imbalance of the main character's mind. There are just pages and pages of Obi-Wan cycling through the same old thoughts. It's incredibly repetitive--which is how those kinds of thought patterns are, so it's realistic! I'm just surprised it sold, I guess. Is this what YA readers want?

ANYWAYS--your real question! To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure which two times you're referring to! Someone (possibly @merrysithmas?) wrote a post a few months ago about how Obi-Wan's claim that he would have left the order for Satine isn't actually that unique, because there are several times he has or claims he would have. That being said, I've decided I don't even really like the clone wars and Filoni's character decisions about Obi-Wan, so I just haven't memorized any of that stuff lol. I always forget Satine exists--even though she does seem very much like the kind of girl an anxious gay teenager would decide he'd fallen in star-crossed impossible love with lol. In short, I don't believe he really meant it, and if he had left the order for her as a teenager, I think it probably would have gone about as well as his other attempts to leave the order for teenage social reasons.

My favorite times that Obi-Wan considers leaving the order are:

At the end of The Phantom Menace (as depicted in the TPM novel and Master & Apprentice's epilogue, and as implied in the film). Before the Council has approved him to take Anakin as a formal Padawan, his vow to Qui-Gon that he would train the boy has replaced his vow to the order. Which is so fascinating! The levels of guilt and loyalty to Qui-Gon he must have, that he would see his wishes through even if it meant leaving behind his entire life and planned future! I love this moment as the start of his FAITH in Anakin, because at this point Anakin has incredible symbolic value to him that he is willing to REBUILD HIS LIFE and form a new religion around Anakin, a child he has known for approximately 48 hours. I love imagining Obi-Wan raising and training Anakin somewhere completely separate from the Jedi Order, all because he made a guilty promise to his dying master that he would live his life in service to a boy from Tatooine. The possibilities are endless!

In Charles Soule's Obi-Wan and Anakin comic. Similar to the prior example, but when Anakin is a teenager and struggling to fit his connection to the force into the constraints of the Jedi order. Obi-Wan sees this, listens calmly to Anakin's thoughts about leaving the order, knowing all the while that he would leave with Anakin, that he would HAVE to. I think he talks to other Jedi about it and thinks about it on his own, but I can't remember if he assures Anakin that he would leave with him. His "promise to Qui-Gon" is still so important to him, though it's easy to see that Anakin himself is what's so important to him, that he has such FAITH in Anakin that he would leave to train him with or without his vow. (Having the concrete vow to guide himself by helps him trust his feelings, of course.) The great part about this whole mess is that he presents a supportive front to Anakin, while unconsciously manipulating him into feeling like he can't leave the order. Obi-Wan loves the order and wants to stay, and I think that motivates him to keep Anakin there more than actually believing it's what's independently best for Anakin.

[muzzled-kelevra]

AHH a bit of a rant/vent/trauma(?)dump about our old friend group because god that thing was ugly

So like, I was kind of the "weird" kid of the group, being trans and (undiagnosed) autistic (didn't even know I was autistic until afterwards)

And like they treated me pretty badly

There was constant arguments, constantly people trying to get me mad on purpose so they could get a reaction. Even over silly things and it was so stressful at the time too

Then there was some odd stuff too, where I was like scared of yelling right? So my friends, or at least 2 of them (1 of them mainly but the other did it too) would yell at me to get me to do stuff. Never anything too bad, it was usually just stuff like "don't swear" or "say this", ect ect. And it sucks because most of this was online and I don't understand why I didn't just .. leave the call? ((It was covid at the time, but these friends were IRL friends too)) And I know they never did anything bad and really I shouldn't be this caught up on it but idk. It feels like I was taken advantage of. But I wasn't at the same time because they did nothing bad that I can remember, they just made me do things or stopped me from doing things by yelling at me. That isn't too bad.. is it??

I don't know

Could this even be considered trauma??? I'm not sure

There was also a thing where I sort of felt like a pet in the group , I was threatened with collars and shock collars by my best friend and partner at the time and I'm unsure how to feel about it.. because yeah I think I sort of liked it??? But I never said I liked it and also I was like what?? 11?? 12?? Why were they threatening me with collars? Is it that bad if I kind of secretly liked it? Is it bad even if I didn't? Because it wasn't serious obviously — but idk

Honestly I'm just trying to make sense of everything, feel free to delete this if its weird (so many people react badly when I bring up sort of liking the collar part, so uh, I get it, I guess)

Sometimes people don't realize things were traumatizing until a while after they happen. Processing can take a long time, and that's okay. You're processing.

It does sound like to me that the things the people in this group did bothered you on a deep level.

People were trying to get you mad or upset on purpose. It seems like it was for their entertainment but just harmed you instead. The same goes for the yelling. Even if it "wasn't bad", yelling can still trigger a trauma response.

Even if they didn't "do anything bad", you're hung up on it and say you feel like they took advantage of you. It sounds to me like this friend group only harmed you rather than were real friends. Sometimes that can be really difficult to see, especially in the moment, which may explain why you didn't leave calls and such or walk away when it happened.

I was a little unsure and skeptical by whether the group seemingly hurt you [mostly because I've been in a similar situation and am partially desensitized] until I read the collars section. It definitely does seem like they were harming you for entertainment purposes.

I don't think it's necessarily bad that you did or didn't enjoy the comments and threats they made. Sometimes trauma makes people enjoy chaos because they're used to it, sometimes trauma makes people curious. Sometimes trauma can make people masochistic. It all depends on the person and how they reacted etc. I'm not weirded out, don't worry, I know how thoughts like that can be.

Even if these things "weren't serious", it sounds like it took a toll on you. I won't say it traumatized you or not since that's something you should figure out on your own, especially since I'm not you, but it definitely sounds like you were affected negatively by what this group did.

If you ever need/want to, I've been through a similar experience and am willing to share it. You're not alone, my friend.

Hugs and pets, here's a butterfly and a bone 🦋🦴

I'm tired so I apologize if I missed something or repeated myself

[obsessive-aspie-girl]

I came across THE ABSOLUTE BEST comment on an AO3 MCU fic!! The person who commented it even cited their sources proving what they were saying by turning part of the sentence into a link -- multiple times! Idk how to do that so I'll just leave a link to the original for anyone interested in those, and paste show off the comment here!

**Warning: Please mind the tags! Within the MCU you either hate this type of fic--and therefore comment--or you're still just a salty and full of rage as you were when it all first started going downhill in 2015. In other words: Civil War Team Iron Man.**

THE COMMENT (which was a reply to a hate comment about how "amazing" and "perfect" Captain America is):

"Yes, Steve Roger is all of those things. In the comics. 616 Steve can do things like defeat two other Super Soldiers when his Serum has been turned off. He's actually a Captain instead of it just being a stage name, due to, depending on the writer, either actually going to Officer School and blitzing through it, or receiving the equivalent of Officer School training while "on the job." In the comics, Steve Rogers earned his rank under the code name of Captain America, and his "secret identity" was that of the bumbling Private Rogers. MCU Cap actually is the bumbling Private Rogers, but is treated like a trained genius tactician undeservedly.

Comics Steve Rogers is also of far better moral character. He's the sort of person who would throw his shield to alter the trajectory of someone falling in order to avoid civilians being hurt. MCU Steve Rogers is never shown caring about the people hurt in Bucharest, and has no problems treating a German SWAT team the same way he did Crossbone's goons. When in the comics everyone finds out that it was Cap's evil Hydra clone who did all sorts of terrible things, Steve admits to HYDRA Cap that he's actually glad that, thanks to HYDRA Cap, people no longer trust him as much as they did in the past, as he's actually never been comfortable with people blindly trusting him or anyone else. MCU Steve demands that people blindly trust him to have their best intentions in mind. 616 Steve has enough willpower to break free of mind control straight away; MCU Steve got stuck in Wanda's illusions like everyone else.

Also, when 616 Tony isn't being written by stupid writers as a fascist, Steve is pretty much the founder and president of the Tony Stark Defence Squad. Anyone talks crap about him, Steve reminds them of how many people his tech and charity work has helped, and on a more personal level actually appreciates how much Tony has done for him instead of accepting it as his due for saving the world once a year.

Comics Steve is respected because he deserves it and has earned it; MCU Steve demands it like an angry toddler, claiming that he's a good man when in reality he's just not as big of an asshole as the Red Skull.

The sad part is, it would have been so easy to salvage Steve's character. Show him sending a coded message to JARVIS during WS, and later say Fury mention that Tony, even with his suits all blown up, was standing by to ensure that all the non-Hydra stuff was taken off the net so that no innocent SHIELD employees were hurt and no US secrets were leaked. About 5 seconds of footage.

Show him trying to contact Tony when Wanda talks crap about Ultron being just like him to prove her wrong, and getting concerned when there's no answer and heading back to Stark Tower just to be sure. Don't show him already be in the process of charging forwards and drawing back his fist to throw a punch at Tony before his chest piece ever arrives. Add two seconds of footage where Steve tiredly asks whether Tony can call another suit to pick him up from Siberia after their fight, and have that letter include an actual apology instead of Steve just trying to justify his actions. Give Wanda an actual redemption arc and have Steve feel like, even if she was HYDRA and people don't like her, she still deserves a chance to show she's not a monster like the Red Skull was. Show Wanda being horrified that the Hulk wandered into Johannesburg, and be reluctantly grateful to Tony that he stopped her from ultimately being responsible for the deaths that a rampaging Hulk would have caused.

Instead we have MCU Steve, who seems less and less heroic the more you think about his actions, and spoilt brat Wanda."

Link to original comment thread:

https://archiveofourown.org/comments/188589974

[kiefbowl]

Congratulations on your job!! I wonder if you have any advice: I’m 24, graduated during the pandemic with a BS and have been working full time from home for the last 1.5 years. I didn’t love what I studied but thought it would lend itself to law school or med school but I really don’t think that’s what I want to do. I want a good paying job and my family is pushing me to do computer science which I think I wouldn’t like or would be too stupid to do (same with medicine). idk what to do I don’t want to hate my job but I also think it’s silly to say money isn’t important and run off to Hollywood to be an actor. i just don’t know what I like and am afraid of spending money on a degree I won’t enjoy or be good at. I’m also just so lonely and unhappy I feel like I’m waiting for my life to get better or actually start but idk what to do! I feel paralyzed by fear of the future and fear of failure that I don’t actually do anything, whether that’s career stuff or even hobbies that I want to try! I’m so frustrated with myself like ugh why can’t I just do things!!

keep in mind, any work experience you get is a building block. Having a job now doesn't mean it's your job forever, or your career. 24 is a perfect age to be "funemployed" and take a lower paying, lower stakes job so you can prioritize taking stock and having some fun. and who knows, that lower paying, lower stakes job could turn into a career. every coffee shop needs a manager, every delivery job needs someone running logistics. I have friends who have been bartending for over 10 years now and that's their career, and there are downsides and perks. they have months where they make bank and make more than me, and the longer you work industry jobs, the more ritzy places open up as options. the brief time I did apartment leasing (I made 0 money and quit lol), everyone who was making a career out of it made their money in the summer (a lot) and then gig jobs the rest of the year. They had such amazing flexibility in their lives but also they were running themselves as a business and had to manage their own taxes.

The point I'm making is your job/career needs to support your life, and it's okay if it feels overwhelming because you're young enough to not really know all the ways you want your life to be. There's a balance of stability and flexibility, and there's a balance of working for someone and working for yourself. But the longer you work, no matter what you're doing, the more opportunities open up for improving skills, getting promoted, learning more of the industry and business. And every job you do has transferable skills, so doing six months at really shitty place can feel like a lifetime but eventually it's over and you move on and that was the job you learned some canned phrases for dealing with shitty customers or whatever. Through working, though starting at the bottom and working hard (or hardly working lol), you'll learn more about what makes you comfortable at a job and hitting that mid career level doesn't actually take that long. Get a couple promotions at one place and you can start putting "supervisor" "manager" "consultant" etc on your resume, and start creating the promotion for yourself by getting jobs at other places. No matter where you are in your career, it always takes time and you're not going to snap your fingers and get a new job the second you want it.

Don't fear failure because failure's going to come to you in one way or another, and then you survive it. Make sure you're keeping in touch with people because friends are great ways to get referred into companies, and ask people in their 40s/50s/60s what their career path has been. Every single one of them is going to have a different story, and they'll have choices they had to make, planned decisions, and also some dumb luck. People will say I was doing data analysis for 10 years at the same company, I thought it was so boring, so I decided to become a dentist at 37. Or someone will say I was bouncing from bar to bar, and then my friend needed someone to copywrite at their new startup and so I helped them out for a couple years and one thing lead to another now I'm an editor. Or someone will say I knew I wanted to be a lawyer like my mom since I was five, so I did that I never stopped doing that. But it's great listening to these stories you realize how many ways there are to live and so much of it is in your hands.

So good luck, keep your head remind yourself some of this can be fun and be your own number one cheerleader.