#oh course

[darlin-collins]

i drawing the porter Yusuf thing and my nose iched me and i went to fix it and i pocked my eye with my (very sharpened) pencil

@vegafan69 fuck you

[teecupangel]

Okay, ignoring cannon and ubisofts total neglect of Elijah. Here's something to think on.

Au where Desmond is active in Elijah's life, maybe after the whole temple and solar flare fiasco he survives, Bill thinks he's dead and he takes the opportunity to per say... retire. Someway somehow Desmond catches wind of his son, the (loving and healthy) banter they'd have would be gut clenching hilarious it'd make you sick from laughing hard.

Desmond: look kid I really need you to cut back on the attitude at the moment

Elijah being the damn near carbon copy of Desmond with twice the sass: for any malfunctions, questions, or complaints, please contact the manufacturer

All the ancestors somehow watching the banter from the sidelines, either laughing or shaking their heads: those are definitely our descendants

They would have an “Elijah, no!”/”Elijah, yes!” and “Dad, no!”/“Dad, yes!” dynamic and everyone who knows they’re father and son would be like “yeah, that tracks.”

You also know Desmond would be the kind of dad that would make dad jokes because he knows it annoys Elijah. The more Elijah looks like the world is conspiring to kill him with his cause of death being embarrassment, the more Desmond does it.

Plot-wise, this could happen while Desmond was trying to tie up loose ends on his side to make sure his ‘death’ is permanent to everyone involved.

This, of course, leads him to learn about Elijah thanks to a file in Abstergo’s database that connects Elijah to his own file so he deletes everything by physically destroying the servers that housed that specific database and then makes his way to find Elijah.

In this scenario, Desmond knew it would be too risky for Elijah and his mom to stay in New York when Abstergo already knows about them and he managed to get his…… Desmond doesn’t even know what to call her… friend? Ex-one-night-stand? Anyway, he managed to get thru to them and they all leave the US because it’s just simply too risky to stay in the country.

(And, as much as Desmond wants to go to Villa Auditore, that would be stupid).

So they go to a country that has minimal ties with his ancestors and sorta try to live like some kind of sitcom family but Desmond and Elijah’s mom have the romantic chemistry of a wet cardboard box so everyone who knows them knows they’re friends raising their son together. Desmond gets a bar and Elijah has a sorta normal school life.

Then Desmond notices Elijah’s smarter than he actually is but hiding it because they are trying to remain incognito.

“Sorry, kid. I know it’s hard pretending to be someone you’re not.”

“I’m not pretending. I don’t want people to know I’m smarter than all of them combined.”

“Okay, take it down a notch, Einstein.”

“Do you know what they think of the smart kids in school? It’s just a different kind of torture, being known as the smartest kid in a government-mandated prison. I’ll probably get pushed all over in the showers if they knew I know how to use all the chemicals in the science lab to build a bomb. ‘God’ forbid I drop my soap…”

“Oh my god.”

Really, Elijah and Desmond say a lot of stuff that gives them headaches but that’s how similar they are. Elijah also likes to stare at the people his parents date and go “good luck” before going back to his room.

And both of them know Elijah is just being a little shit to make the poor innocent ‘date’ paranoid as fuck.

And Desmond would have problems with how to talk to Elijah at the start, of course. He had missed a lot and it was just awkward between them.

Until he realized who Elijah acts like.

Always curious about everything and anything.

A sharp tongue with a habit of sarcastic and dry humor.

A genius who knows he’s a genius.

Oh god.

His son was a mini-Altaïr!

And that is how Desmond realized that the best way to get into Elijah’s skin is to be a loving dad who likes to tease his son.

And Elijah, as much as he pretends to be annoyed by it, actually leans in whenever Desmond ruffles his hair or hugs him.

Not that he was going to say anything about it though.

Nope.

Sidenote:

I kinda like the idea that Elijah’s personality is a mix of a young curious child with the arrogance of Aita. Being kidnapped and watching his mom die made him a quiet child that has anger issues. So this Elijah would be happier and much more polite. He’s only sarcastic when he’s annoyed or close to someone. Also, his first crush will be someone who can kick his ass and Desmond would just stare at him because… yeah, that tracks.

And, if we keep Desmond’s Bleeding Effect, Elijah could interact with his ancestors as well. Might even call them something like variations of ‘grandpa’. They usually try to pretend to be Desmond whenever Elijah’s mom is there but Elijah knows which is which by now.

Desmond knows about it and he can’t help but feel happy that his own son accepts even that part of him.

[great-and-small]

Apparently the local university’s undergraduate entomology course sends students to catch insect specimens at the same place I like to go birdwatching, which explains why I saw three enormous frat looking dudes with tiny bug nets and overheard one emphatically say “bro BRO I told you we already have enough lepidopterans”

[dirtflunk]

th unsettling knights r kissing in the dungeon, m'lord.

[lgbtlunaverse]

"How did Shuro think he could marry Falin when he hated her brother?" you have to understand. Toshiro is from a whole different country. In his head he and Falin would move back to the Eastern Archipelago and they'd see Laios twice a year tops. You can pretend to get along with in-laws you don't like for a few days a year, people do that all the time.

The actual flaw in his plan– which shows he doesn't really understand either of the Touden siblings– is the fact that if the plot hadn't happened and Falin had for some reason said yes to his proposal, Laios would have packed his bags and moved away with them instantly.

[crplpunkklavier]

hey after kristoph gavin planted atroquinine in a kid's favorite nailpolish, while he was spending seven long agonizing years waiting for the kid to actually poison herself, how badly do you think he pissed his dumb little blue pants when 6 years in his brother presumably out of nowhere published a song titled "atroquinine my love" and made the whole world sing it for a little while

[bwooom]

ok. icebreaker-type question. imagine time travel exists, but all of the serious super big things that likely come to mind when time travel is a factor is stuff youre not “qualified” for, as a civilian. what stupid, petty, thing do you use time travel for?

personally, i’d buy this one limited-time pin from a con i had no chance of going to, and also buy some transformers animated toys while they were still being sold.

[mischievous-thunder]

The tough choices Wade has to face on a daily basis

[myrkulitescourge]

the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me

just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.

like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.

in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.

how am i supposed to act normal about this.

[akanemnon]

I thought this game didn't have random encounters!

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[theabigailthorn]

"Good" Acting

i have a theory that a lot of people say acting is "good" when they're emotionally moved by it, and a lot of cishet white people have a lifelong habit of not listening or empathising when minoritised people speak, so minority actors get called "bad" even when they display some pretty fucking amazing technical skill

[hinamie]

thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life

bonus:

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[aandriskobold]

*chanting* if you didn't see the body the character isn't dead, if you didn't see the body the character isn't dead, if you didn't see the body the character isn't dead

[demaparbat-hp]

Beautiful

[loveinstreams]

aziraphale literally just realized his feelings for crowley and proceeds to spend the rest of the night planning a batshit insane magical act involving said love of his life shooting him on stage. he’s very normal