#oh look they're throwing lines back and forth

[swan2swan]

Most sobering revelation of today is watching the final half-hour of A Few Good Men and realizing that the movie is....certainly a movie...and then having Office Space come on and understanding just how vast the disparity of quality is between them.

[pomefioredove]

Can we have kalim's ending for the yuu auction as well? I was pretty excited for his outcome

of course of course!

parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | bad ending

summary: a kalim ending type of post: short fic characters: kalim additional info: yuu is gender neutral, this is maybe a little short, hi kalim :)

"Problems don't just go away when you throw money at them, you know," Vil says. The tone of his voice is sour, and he's making no effort to hide it. "You'll have to actually take some responsibility."

Leona rolls his eyes. "Oh, shut it. They're not a pet, they can handle themselves. You're just butthurt it wasn't you,"

"And yet, here you are, still moping just the same," he snaps back. "Kalim, congratulations. I'm sure the prefect will- where'd he go?"

Despite their best efforts, Kalim hadn't heard a single word of the other housewarden's well wishes (and warnings).

He was gone before they'd even started, in fact.

Even with all he'd had prepared beforehand- the new room, the uniforms, all of your favorite foods- there was suddenly a list a mile long on his mind.

First, he had to get you.

Then, he had to show you around your new place.

Then, dinner.

Followed by dessert, of course.

(Maybe a light appetizer to start? Why hadn't he thought of that already?!)

And then he'd treat you to an evening of your favorite songs, laughter, and fun.

So on, and so forth.

Kalim may be a little oblivious at times, but your poor condition at Ramshackle is no secret to anyone. He'd been talked out of helping more than once before- and, so, this was his chance.

The gravity of technically owning a person who doesn't legally exist in this world hasn't crossed his mind even once. The way he sees it, he gets to host you indefinitely, take you on vacations with his family, treat you to the life you deserve after all you've done for everyone, and no one can tell him no.

Though, something still sits in the back of his mind, something that asks him to walk before running. A voice of reason.

If Kalim had a shoulder angel and devil, both of them would somehow be Jamil:

"I would advise taking it easy on them as they adjust. This whole spectacle must have been difficult for them. You're a good listener when you try. Now's a chance to show that,"

More than anything, Kalim wants to impress you.

Such a thought would make anyone else scoff- the gold and jewels and magic carpets aren't enough?

And his answer would be... well... no.

Kalim possesses many things. He has entire houses full of treasure, trinkets, fine silks, servants at his every whim... and yet, he's still missing something crucial. Something he's become more and more aware of since coming to NRC.

A bond.

Of course, he loves his siblings. And his parents. And the students in Scarabia. And the students in the other dorms. He might consider all of the above friends, but not at the emotional level he seeks. Jamil is a work in progress. But you- you're already well-acquainted, and friendly. You're a gracious guest, a great listener, and... well, you had the kind of bond he looks for with so many other people on campus.

Why else would everyone be lining up to pay to be your friend otherwise?

(That's how he saw it, anyway).

So, he listens. Makes an effort to, anyway. He even stops feeding Grim at dinner when you ask him to.

"Oops!" he says, offering the direbeast a gold-lined handkerchief to wipe around his mouth. "But it's good, right? Jamil's family recipe is always delicious!"

You quirk a smile at him. "I liked it. Grim?"

Grim mumbles something indistinct and crawls to sit on the other side of you.

"I'm glad! I remember you telling me that you miss it from your home- I can't believe some of our recipes are so similar!" he beams. "Maybe Scarabia will start feeling like a home to you, too, then!"

You laugh, a little awkwardly. "Aha... maybe. This is all just so sudden,"

"But... good, right?"

"Yes, good," you smile, tilting your head to the side. "It's a step up from being Crowley's errand-runner and sleeping in the cold, at least."

"Well, you'll certainly never be cold here!"

He laughs again, and a murmur of agreement ripples through the students in attendance, all the way down to the end of the long table.

"Ah... Kalim, this is nice. Really nice... I don't know how I'm going to repay you for any of this,"

"Pay? Like with money?" he raises an eyebrow. "You're my guest, and an honorary member of Scarabia now, so you don't have to do anything but relax."

That's not exactly what you meant, though you don't have the heart to explain what exactly Crowley's care had been like.

"...Right. But really, if you need anything done- I'll be glad to do it,"

He's quiet for a moment, thinking. "Well... if you're really bored, I'm sure you could find something to do. We have lots of board games,"

"No, I meant like, work,"

Kalim blinks. "Why would you have to work?"

You should've just let it go. Now this is getting embarrassing, admitting all that Crowley had you do when you had no say in the matter.

"You know... to earn my keep,"

"Earn your..." he squints. "You don't have to earn anything. Having you here is reward enough for me!"

Sometimes his oblivious nature can be a little comforting.

And even though it's dark, his positivity is as radiant as the sun... you can't help but return his smile.

"Alright, then,"

"Alright! Now..." he says, looking around the table. "Who's ready for dessert?"

[another-lost-mc]

When They Say "F*ck Lucifer" (& Think MC Takes It Literally) Headcanons | THE DEMON BROTHERS 2.6k words | NSFW | gn!Reader | Crack Treated Seriously Content warnings: Cursing, implied relationships, pet names, jealous/possessive behaviour, misunderstandings and poor communication, demon form mentioned (Satan), suggestive content.

BELPHEGOR

"Belphie, it's time for dinner!" Lucifer sent you to find him, and when he wasn't napping in your bed, you knew where to check next.

He mumbles something into his pillow and you can't make out the words, but you know he's listening. "It's the third night this week you've skipped eating dinner with the family. Come on, you know how Lucifer is."

Belphie turns his head towards you enough so that you can hear him more clearly. "Oh, fuck Lucifer." He rolls over and starts snoring again, and you stomp back down the attic stairs in frustration.

When you join the others for dinner, you jab your fork into your food with more force than necessary. You're halfway done your meal when Belphie suddenly plops down into the empty chair beside yours. He reaches for your free hand and leans against your shoulder.

"Belphie?" you ask him curiously, but he says nothing. He doesn't eat anything either. He tries to cuddle even closer to you instead, and he shoots glares at his older brother sitting at the head of the table.

It takes you longer to eat than normal with one of your hands firmly tucked in Belphie's grip. As soon as you finish your dinner, he pulls you away from the table and back up to the attic. He curls around you for the rest of the night like he's afraid you might disappear if he doesn't.

He doesn't skip any more meals for the rest of the week.

BEELZEBUB

You have one hand stretched out in front of you, pressed firmly against Beel's chest. The other is holding a container of sweets behind your back.

"No, you can't have these," you remind Beel for the hundredth time. "They're for tomorrow, remember?"

But Beel's only half-paying attention to you. His focus is latched onto the container in your hand, and if he wasn't worried about hurting you by accident, he'd simply take it from you.

"It's not fair," his low voice rumbles thickly, and there's drool leaking from the corner of his mouth now. "I'm starving!"

You shake your head and look around for something else to tempt Beel with instead. "Lucifer bought these for Diavolo, and we're taking them to the tea party tomorrow."

"Fuck Lucifer," Beel growls, and it's the loudest and angriest he's sounded yet. You both look startled by the outburst; your hand slips away from holding him back, and his jaw drops open when he realizes what he said to you.

You hold the container tightly against your chest. He could easily take it from you now, but he surprises you when he doesn't. His eyes are fixed solely on your face, as if the thing he wanted moments ago is completely irrelevant. He holds his arms out like he's trying to block you from leaving the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I'll look for something else to eat, but please, don't go."

ASMODEUS

"Are you sure you should post that?" you ask, glancing over Asmo's shoulder as he types another inflammatory reply on Devilgram.

"Of course!" he exclaims. "You read their comment. ‘Pretentious and gaudy?’ MY clothing line?! No, I won’t stand for it.”

He’s typing quickly and you’re not exactly sure what his Devildom insult is supposed to mean, but you imagine it’s not very nice by the way Asmo cackles when he hits Send.

“I don’t want to be that person,” you start nervously while Asmo scrolls through the other comments on his post, “but maybe you should ignore them? All this back and forth is drawing a lot of negative attention to your Devilgram feed.”

Asmo pauses what he's doing and looks at you suspiciously. “Who told you that?”

You bite your lip and look away. “Lucifer asked me to talk to you about it.” When Asmo rolls his eyes, you throw your hands up. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it? Aren’t you worried this little spat might impact your new launch?”

Asmo jabs his D.D.D. in your direction. “He’s only worried about drama if it involves someone close to Diavolo.” He runs his hand through his hair and looks down at his phone screen again. “Fuck him. If Lucifer cares that much, he can come talk to me himself.”

“Ugh!” You stand up with a huff and head towards the door. You tried to talk to him and it’s obvious he’s not going to listen. You hope Lucifer believes you later when you tell him you tried to get Asmo to see reason.

When you reach for the door handle, you’re surprised when Asmo suddenly blocks your way. Sometimes you forget how fast demons can move.

“I didn’t mean that,” he says seriously. His housecoat falls open slightly when he leans towards you, and his expression isn't angry but dead-serious.

“Didn’t mean what?” you ask confusedly.

“Fucking my brother. Don’t do it.” His hands grasp your shoulders and you can’t help but laugh.

“I wasn’t going to? I was going to go back to my room while you carry on with your…” you trail off, gesturing to his abandoned D.D.D. on the bed, “…little feud.”

He steers you back towards his bed. “If you want to relax, then I insist you stay here instead. My room is much more comfortable than yours. Besides, I just thought of something you can help me with.”

You sit on the edge of the bed and smile up at him. “Like apologizing to that poor demon lord you keep picking fights with?”

Asmo winks at you with a hint of a smirk, and he tugs at the belt holding his housecoat closed. “Maybe we can do that after.”

SATAN

Satan walks around the narrow pathways in his room, avoiding the fragile stacks of books that litter his floor. You sit on his bed and watch him anxiously, giving him the patience and time he needs to tell you what's bothering him. You're careful to give him space when he's in one of these moods; it was one of the stipulations you agreed to before he let you inside earlier.

"So, you were in the garden earlier with some of the stray cats, and Lucifer did...what, exactly?" You've been trying to piece together what happened between Satan and his brother earlier, but it's hard to make sense of his grumbled and disjointed complaints.

"He scared them away," Satan bites out angrily. "I wasn't even feeding them treats. I sprinkled some catnip for them. What's the problem with that?"

You know Lucifer complains about the stray cats that flock to the House of Lamentation if Satan feeds them when he's not supposed to. You know that Lucifer isn't a fan of cats in general. But, you also know that Lucifer wouldn't purposefully hurt any of the cats that make their way into the garden, and he's not usually this petty.

"Is it possible he thought you were feeding them? I don't think he would make such a big fuss if he knew you were only giving them catnip." Satan glances at you and you can tell he's not convinced by your explanation. "What if I go with you to talk to him?"

"Fuck him," Satan snarls as he keeps pacing in front of you, fists clenching open and closed at his sides.

Sigh. Maybe you can talk to Lucifer on your own. Things have been peaceful between them lately, and this is such a silly thing for them to be at odds over.

Satan watches you stand up from his bed with a defeated sigh. When you try to shuffle past him, he wraps his arms around you from behind and pulls you against his chest. There's a wave of warm energy around you, and you feel the familiar feathers of his true form against your back.

"You're not going to leave me to see him, are you?" his rough voice grates against your neck. "You should stay here."

"Tomorrow we're going to sort this out together," you tell him when you meet his gaze over your shoulder.

His hands on your hips tighten. "Fine. But tonight, you're mine."

LEVIATHAN

"I think there's something wrong with your Akuzon account."

Levi asked you to pre-order the Dogi Maji anniversary bundle on his tablet, but the Submit Order button is greyed out every time you try to purchase it for him.

"Huh?" Levi spins around at his desk. He was doing some dungeons with his guild and you've been waiting for him to finish so you could watch anime together.

You tap the screen a few more times and shrug. "I don't know, it won't let me order anything."

Levi opens the Akuzon site on his second monitor and he sputters when he realizes what the problem is. "Lucifer put parental controls on the account again! Why would he do that?"

Of course. You knew Lucifer was upset at Levi for what happened earlier this week, and somehow his threat of punishment completely slipped your mind. "Well, you did summon Lotan on the RAD campus again..." you offer hesitantly.

"That wasn't my fault!" Levi argues loudly. He wilts a bit under your skeptical stare. "Okay, it wasn't completely my fault. Mammon took my rare Ruri-chan capsule figurine and wouldn't give it back."

You rub the back of your neck. You want to be sympathetic, you really do, but you can't necessarily blame Lucifer for his reaction either - an entire floor of the building was unusable due to the flooding.

"You know how Lucifer is, he'll change it back in a few days and we can order the game then."

"But what if it sells out before then?!" he shouts in frustration. "Fuck Lucifer!"

Levi rarely raises his voice like this to you, and he deflates immediately after his little outburst. "Wait–wait–wait!" he stammers quickly, launching himself out of his computer chair and into the empty seat beside you on the sofa. He holds your hands in his and squeezes so tightly that you wince. "I didn't mean that," he says imploringly, and his eyes dart around your face like he's nervous you don't believe him.

You mistakenly assume he's trying to apologize for getting so angry, and you pull him into a hug. "I know," and he nods against your shoulder. "What if I go to Purgatory Hall and order the game using Solomon's account instead?"

Levi sniffles and practically drags you into his lap. "Maybe later," he mumbles against your chest, the game temporarily shoved aside so he can keep you to himself instead. "What do you want to watch first?"

MAMMON

You flick on the light switch in Mammon's room and glare at him in annoyance. You warned him last night not to stay too late at the casino, and here he is, sleeping well past his alarm. At some point he chucked his D.D.D. across the room and promptly went back to sleep.

Great, now you're both going to be late, but for some reason, Lucifer seems to think herding Mammon to class is your responsibility. Lover's perks, you guess sarcastically as you stomp over to where the Avatar of Greed is snoring under a pile of blankets. One of his feet is dangling over the edge of the bed, and if you had more time, maybe slow, torturous tickles would teach him a lesson. For now, you grab the edge of his blankets and rip them off him in one smooth motion.

His eyes are still closed while his hands search blindly for the blankets that are on the floor by your feet. He's only in his boxers so the sudden gust of cool air against his skin makes him shudder. You feel a bit of petty satisfaction as you kick the blankets away for good measure.

"'m tired, goin' back to sleep, babe," he mumbles sleepily.

Well, at least he knows it's you, even if he is half-asleep.

"We're going to be so late for class, and Lucifer's going to kill me. Or you. Or both of us!" You wonder why Lucifer would send you to wake up Mammon, when his own threats of dangling him from the ceiling would probably be more effective. You guess waking Mammon up is meant to be your punishment for choosing to be with him of all demons in the first place.

Mammon groans and rolls over so you can't see him, but you can tell he's half-buried in his pillow when he grumbles, "Fuck 'em."

You throw up your hands and spin on your heel. "Fine, be that way," you snap. Your mood's already sour, and Lucifer's pestering and Mammon being himself isn't helping.

You should have enough time to grab something to eat and make it to class on time if you leave now. What you don't expect is for Mammon to not only get out of bed, but to somehow make it to the doorway before you do.

Damn, he's fast.

He's panting heavily and his eyes are clear now, his razor-sharp focus trained on you. You bump into his bare chest because you don't expect him to block your path. You open your mouth to ask what he's doing, but he leans forward and gives you a sloppy kiss instead. There's something almost desperate in the way his hands cradle your jaw and he drags his lips away from your mouth and dusts your cheeks and brow with feathery-soft kisses too.

"'m sorry," he mumbles, pulling you against him in a tight hug, "Wait for me while I get ready, yeah? Just, don’t–don’t leave. I’ll make it up to ya later, promise.”

LUCIFER

Lucifer pauses outside your bedroom door when he realizes you're speaking to someone on the phone. His brothers are all studying in their rooms - or they should be, same as you. He wonders who could possibly be so interesting that you're ignoring your studies to talk to them instead.

He assumes it's Solomon or Simeon, and he can't decide which of those two options is worse. Not that he cares, of course.

Even through the door, he can hear you clearly. He feels the slightest sense of guilt when he recognizes the tired, sad tone in your voice. Some of his brothers failed the last set of exams, and perhaps he was too strict with you considering your own scores were satisfactory - excellent even, in some classes. He knows that you've been ignoring your extracurriculars and hobbies to focus on studying so you don't disappoint him like his siblings do.

He catches the tail-end of your conversation and decides it's definitely Solomon on the other line if you're being invited to human world outings.

"...yeah, I heard that movie is in theatres now too. I think it looks good, but I'm too busy with–look, maybe once exams are over we can go see it, okay? I think Satan might like to see it too...uh huh...alright, you too. G'night."

Silence follows, and before Lucifer can knock on your door, he hears you sigh and mutter quietly, "Ugh, these stupid exams. Fuck Lucifer."

Well, there's a thought, isn't it? He was going to offer to take you to Madam Scream's to pick up some of those cupcakes you like. He considers it for only a split second and decides he likes your idea even more. His lips curl into a feral smirk, and he knocks once before letting himself inside.

"Huh? Oh, hi, Lucifer. I'm just going to..." but your voice tapers off. Whatever you were going to say dies in your throat when he leans against your door and slides the lock into place.

"I missed you," he murmurs, a surprisingly honest (and to you, completely random) confession that causes your cheeks to darken slightly. You swallow thickly and stare when he brings his hand to his mouth and pulls his glove off with his fucking teeth. "I think you deserve a little reward for all your hard work, hm?"

[mattsturnioloscasket]

“Don’t say that” (Matt Sturniolo)

In which: y/n and matt have been trying for a baby for very long but every test always comes out negative and y/n couldn't take it anymore.

“It’s negative.” y/n breathes in, trying not to cry. Currently, she is taking her 5th pregnancy test. Her and Matt have been trying for a child, but it's always negative. Sure, it’s a big responsibility, but they're ready to take their relationship to that level.

Nick sighs in sadness. “Hey, it’s all gonna be okay, c’mere.” He pulls y/n close attempting to console her. Nick had been with her throughout the whole journey, comforting her since it was negative. y/n steps back so she’s out of his arms, tears welling up in her eyes. this isn't fair.

“I-I just need to be with matt right now.” y/n shakily says, her voice cracking mid sentence.

“y/n wait-“ She shuts the bathroom door after herself, running to matt's room.

y/n opens matt’s door, tears pouring down her face. Matt looks up from his fortnite game, ready to scold whichever one of his brothers that opened the door without knocking, but he freezes, noticing his girlfriend and her state.

“Baby?” he murmurs, dropping his controller and standing up, pulling her into a hug. y/n cries into his chest as Matt holds her close. He shushes her, holding her tighter.

“Breathe…”

y/n shakes her head frantically, sobbing loudly into his chest. Matt pulls her head away from his chest holding her face in his hands. His eyes scan her face, taking in every detail. God, how did she manage to look gorgeous, even while balling her eyes out.

“Focus on me baby, you’ve got it.” Matt pulls her back into his chest, hugging her tightly.

“c-can't..”

Matt leans in close to her ear so she could hear his breathing. He holds her tighter, swaying her back and forth.

He whispers in her ear softly, “It's me baby. I'm here, my love, mattys here.” y/n nods into his chest, still sobbing loudly, but calming down a bit.

“Good girl, calm down for me.” Matt continues to sway her back and forth, kissing her forehead.

———————————————————————

A few minutes later, y/n had calmed down. her eyes had felt heavy from the crying. Matt pulls her head away from his chest, scanning her face for any signs of her starting to cry again. He hesitantly leans down, pecking her forehead . y/n smiles up at him sniffling.

“another negative test?” Matt asked. y/n nods.

“Maybe we’re just not fit to be parents.” y/n mumbles. Matt shakes his head, holding her close.

“don’t say that, ma. We both want this, it just takes a couple tries. “ y/n could feel herself tear up again,

“yeah i guess.” she mumbles to herself. Matt smiles softly, wiping away the single tear that fell down her cheeks and holding her face in his hands, pulling her into a kiss. Their moment was cut short when Nick slams open the door, holding the pregnancy test with a paper towel.

“Nick, what did I say about knocking?”

“It's positive! y/n you’re pregnant!” Nick exclaims. y/n felt her heart drop to her stomach,

Matt grabs the test from Nick, throwing the towel on the ground, holding the peed on test in his hands. Nick mumbles an ‘ew’ as Matt ignores him, looking for a second line. sure enough, there was one, but very faint. Matt looks at y/n, a look of shock on his face as he hands the test to y/n.

y/n grabs the test, scanning it for the second line. There it was, faint though.

“Oh my god!” Nick scoops Matt and y/n into a group hug, jumping around in a circle.

“I'm going to get chris!” Nick exclaims, walking out of the room, leaving Matt and y/n.

y/n looks at matt, a wide smile plastered on her face. Matt grins at her, pulling her into a hug, lifting her off the ground. y/n squeals, giggling.

Matt laughs, placing her back on her feet “W-we’re going to be parents! I-I’m gonna be a father!!” y/n laughs, nodding.

“I-i'm gonna be a mother!” Matt nods, grabbing her face and pulling her into a kiss. y/n melts into the kiss, holding him close. Matt pulls away, a sly grin on his face.

“You probably look so hot pregnant.”

“Can you not?”

———————————————————————

THIS MAN..😜‼️‼️‼️‼️❤️❤️❤️❤️🎀🎀🎀

[iridescentdove]

I need a BSD x Reader where it’s just the reader casually rizzing up everyone like no one is safe from the reader’s infinite rizz, not the ADA, not the PM, not the DOA, not the guild, and definitely not the Hunting Dogs, not even civilians; it’s literally everyone that is getting rizzed up, while the reader is aware and laughs and points at every clown they rizzed up.

THE ULTIMATE RIZZLORD.

various!BSD x reader

A/N: anon, I would like to point out how much I love you and this request right now. also, I put the reader in the port mafia for fun because why not.

Absolutely speechless.

This is how everyone felt – well, whether whoever it may be, there was just one thing all could collectively agree on. They may all be feared and powerful factions that anyone could basically kneel down to, however ...

Who THE FUCK is this audacious person?

MORI was the first to witness your ass flirt with every single person you saw. But no, did you even care? Not at all. He stares, bewildered and mildly in concern as you came up to every single person you saw – completely distracted from the mission at hand as you asked women to step on you, choke you ...

He wants you throw you back from where you came from.

Oh wait, nevermind. You were now flirting with HIM. MORI is in even more shock at your confidence. Damn, pretty bold of you. But he actually thought you kinda hot fr. Elise still #1 bae tho

And somehow, you were taken up to being an executive. Everyone is morbid and utterly terrified.

How the fuck is someone like you an EXECUTIVE?? HELLO??

CHUUYA turns as red as his hair could ever be. Look man, he just wanted to complain about Dazai and you here just ..

"That fucking idiot Dazai! I'll rip him apart!"

"Yes daddy- I mean, can you do that to me too?"

"... What?"

"Ooh~ those fingers are so slender and pretty .."

"Wh-"

"Mind if I ... caress them a little, babygorl?"

"(Y/N) WHAT-"

Aww, look at that, Chuuya is deader than Odasaku <3

But God forbid you be taken on important missions against another factiom because fuck man. All you're there for is 1% fighting, 99% rizzing.

Y'know when everything was in chaos in Yokohama bcz of the Guild trying to take over? Everyone's fighting their ass off, God knows where DAZAI is but no one cares, and you?? Uh yeah already guessed it.

Tryna rizz up the agency.

Like yes, they're in trouble, everyone is, we know but fuck war we want fictional men. And women.

"Are you lingo? Because we can make a good duo 😏" - you

"... Did you just make a duolingo pickup line" - kunikida

Man times when the port mafia and the agency are in a truce, you're there back and forth flirting nonstop. Everyone is red, turned on from your oh so amazing rizzler skills

DAZAI enjoys your company obviously. Both of you create so much chaos, but even sometimes you're so much worse than him. You're the only one who can actually surprise him. Like wtf bitch stop flirting with the damn secret police?? Uh??

You make suicidal jokes, whispering them so sexily in his ear he wanna take you to the bed right there mamasita lip bite

Oh, the Decay of Angels wanna achieve world domination? They can dominate sumn else if you know what I mean

No words can express how terrified u keep making everyone THAT'S FYODOR HE'LL KILL YOU WITH A TOUCH BITCH- oh wait nvm he's melting from all of your rizz and affection.

You are literally so sweet but so confusing. SIGMA sees you around the Sky Casino just chilling and flirting with everyone you see. He don't mind cause you hot anyway

The Guild kinda ... actually, no. They're not safe. FITZGERALD? More like Rizzgerald cause this bitch 'bout to get rizzed so hard he turns poor

Yeah .. I don't take it to heart.

You'll just be up in their ass even after the Yokohama incident. Literally all of them both love and hate you. "Should we throw her off a cliff or kiss her" "Idk the second option is kinda tempting tho" "Boss, what do we d-" "Both."

DAMN LOVECRAFT AND BRAM TOO?? BITCH STOP 😭

No one can escape from your rizz. Okay one time you got kidnapped by the fuckin Hunting Dogs but you just?? Started to rizz up and call JOUNO ur bbygorl?? He is seconds from slicing your head off but he gave up at this point.

Where you got that rose from 🤨

Why the fuck is romantic music playing 😐

You asked FUKUCHI himself to choke you and slam you against the wall. Not even an ounce of regret of fear.

Everyone officially is scared of you.

ANGO isn't free from this either, bitch. You'll strut into the room all happy to talk for a mission and all but ... uhh. "So you're from the Special Division? I can't blame you then ... I feel as if I have something special going on for you."

ANGO, internally: iamnotasimp- iamnotasimp- iamnotasimp-

Sadly, he is now a simp.

The fact his face turns so red is not unnoticed by you. You laugh, clowning everyone you literally rizzed up no joke. They're so in love with ur pretty/handsome/hot ass 😔

No one is free. If you find a pretty bird, ask it's hand for marriage. There is no other way but that.

Mk but the way you literally hit on AKUTAGAWA do be funny. Bitch is so oblivious, he just thinks you're another certain blonde hair slaying bitch 😳

By the time he actually knows you're rizzing him up by being more direct about your advances, he is questioning life.

But bcz you're SOO close to DAZAI maybeee we can ...

Work sumn out, you know? heh

One day the mafia just be chilling and BOOM heree comes the wh00000re~ hello wh000re~ welcome~ 😍

(i am so sorry if this offends someone it's a meme-)

Cue everyone sighing as you come in and start your daily routine which is rizzing. You'll be caressing KOUYOU's cheek, talking to CHUUYA with that sexy ass deep voice, whispering in MORI's ear, and everytime you breathe the vine boom sound effect comes off.

Can't say they don't like it though. We all know we have some horny deviants lovestruck little cuties <3 but let's just say it's hard being here with those hoes 😔✌️

Yet most especially,

You.

*bites lip* (i am sorry.)

[yerimbrit]

WWIB > 5. lunch with pretty (wc: 1.2k)

danielle grins happily as she listens to y/n explain each classroom and their respective teachers. mrs. kim and mr. park, the math teachers, mr. baek the literature teacher—the list goes on. y/n has more annoyed complaints to say about mr. song, which makes danielle giggle with her hand covering her mouth.

she notices her mentor has a hard time making eye contact with her. everyone that she's talked to is okay, but it seems it's different when it comes to danielle. it reassures her in thinking that her seatmate may already have some feelings for her too.

"mrs. kim is nice, but she keeps giving us pop quizzes," y/n gulps down the last of her pocari sweat and throws it away at the nearest recycling bin. "i don't know about mr. park but from what i've heard for eunchae—the girl who kept poking me in class today—he likes pop quizzes too."

danielle takes a sip of her strawberry milk. y/n was adamant about treating her, even if it was just the school vending machines. they finally replaced the selection with better drinks, and everyone's been swarming the machines during break according to the girl. "that's bad," she pouts, "i can't do well on tests without studying super hard; i'll have to study everyday."

y/n widens her eyes and shakes her head, finally glancing at danielle. the transfer student's eyes glimmer with genuine fear. "ah, it's not that bad! they're usually right after we review some introductory material or something like that, don't worry."

they walk through the hallways. some students stare in awe at danielle as they walk past the pair, even more so when she greets each of them with a bright smile. y/n looks like she's seconds away from either passing out or growling at the other students.

they're about to enter the cafeteria when danielle stops briefly. "you didn't have plans with your friends, did you? i know i asked if you wanted to eat lunch together but it's not too late to back out..."

y/n ponders for a moment, glancing around. "i'll... i want to eat lunch with you, it's okay. do you know anyone else here?" she slowly asks. 'she really has a permanent smile on her face,' y/n notes in her head.

"i have a friend who's a senior, but she's... busy today. i can always catch up with her later!" danielle answers easily, hoisting her backpack up to adjust it.

y/n nods and they walk into the already-bustling lunchroom. they don't bother getting in line since danielle brought her own food for today and y/n had a particularly big breakfast with haerin.

"you're not gonna eat?" danielle decides to question this decision, pulling her comically large lunchbox out of her bag, which separates into three different containers. she almost looks disappointed at the lack of food in front of her mentor. 'she's really expressive,' y/n adds to her mental note.

the girl in front of her stares in bewilderment, looking between danielle and her abundance of food that she prepared for lunch. "is that all for you?" she asks in astonishment, before quickly realizing that danielle might take it the wrong way. "i mean, not that i'm calling you-"

y/n gets cut off by the girl laughing. the sound makes her feel like she's floating, ready to ascend to whatever's up there. 'this must be heaven.'

"it's okay! i'm a big eater, i'm pretty active. i used to do track back in australia, but i had to quit because my family was moving back to korea."

the girl across from her nods in understanding, drumming her fingertips on top of the table. "you're from australia?"

"yeah! i was born there but we moved back and forth between seoul and newcastle. my mom's korean."

danielle takes the lids off of her lunchbox containers, revealing a copious amount of gimbap, some cutlery, and a whole box dedicated to a mix of cherry tomatoes and baby carrots. she gestures to the container filled with the fruits and vegetables. "want some?"

"oh," y/n's mouth forms an 'o' shape, and she picks a cherry tomato from the pile. "thank you."

the australian watches as y/n pops the fruit into her mouth with expectant eyes. "is it sweet?"

"mm, very."

"that's good! i love fruits and vegetables, i can't go a day without having them. oh, especially carrots. i love carrots," danielle rambles as she picks up a piece of her gimbap with her chopsticks and shoves it in her mouth. she repeats this until all of her lunch is gone, before y/n can even blink.

"hey loser," eunchae sets her tray down on the table, taking a seat next to y/n. "hi danielle!"

danielle flashes a huge grin and waves, recognizing the girl as the person that y/n was talking about earlier. "hello! eunchae...?"

"big baby..." y/n mutters under her breath. unfortunately for her, eunchae hears it and pinches her on the side. they side-eye each other.

then, as if nothing happened, she turns back to danielle with a friendly expression. "that's right! yunjin-unnie told me lots about you."

this turns out to be something that danielle didn't expect, because she lets out a loud gasp. "you know yunjin-unnie!?"

y/n curses at eunchae in her head.

the two get wrapped up in an exciting conversation about yunjin and how they know her, and also getting to know each other in the process. danielle, yunjin, and another girl named yuna grew up together, and they still keep in touch even now. they keep each other updated on almost every detail of their lives while danielle is away, and also exchanging small pieces of gossip.

eunchae's older sister, chaewon, is close friends with the musician, and she describes them as a "budding situationship" before she laughs it off and changes to a different subject. internally, y/n takes back the curses she directed to the younger girl as she also got to know the pretty girl better through their interaction.

two figures approach their table and eunchae and danielle's conversation is put on pause in order to see who arrived.

"ah, finally!" y/n stands up, moving her bag so the student council power couple could sit. "you took forever."

"danielle," eunchae starts, pointing to the girls that had just settled down in their seats with a lunchbox that the secretary packed. "this is hanni-unnie and minji-unnie, our very own student council secretary and president. guys, this is danielle, the new transfer."

"wow! it's so nice to meet you! i didn't know y/n-ssi was so connected."

"it's very nice to meet you, danielle," hanni states, making a face at y/n, who flips her off while the bright girl isn't looking.

the rest of the girls finish their lunch, with some taking their share of danielle's offered tomatoes and carrots (minji made a face, though no one except hanni and y/n noticed), and soon lunch was over. y/n's face pales at the bell.

she still has class with the new girl in two periods.

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taglist: @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @nnewjeansstuff @airice @yeetaberry127 @multiliker @saysirhc @shozeu @nwjnsloona @hannienthusiast @hotluvlet @gayforalll @technicallyimportantsweets @jeindall777 @popasi @gtfoiydlyj

[mysteryshoptls]

R Ace Trappola - P.E. Uniform Vignette

"All that effort for nothing!"

[Sports Field]

Ace: Oh, Housewarden, you on your way back now?

Riddle: Ah, Ace. That's right, we've finished our equestrian club activities for the day.

Ace: Same here for the basketball club. Guess all our clubs just end around the same time.

Riddle: No, not necessarily. Whenever a match draws near, some clubs' practice may end up running longer.

Riddle: Then there are the instances in which the coach is too fired up.

Vargas: Hey, you all get on your feet! You can't build muscle just by sitting around on the field!!

Leona: Tch... Spelldrive club, line up. Time to get back to practicin'.

Spelldrive Club Members: Yessir!

Ace: Woah, they're still going at it… Hm? Isn't that lion-lookin' guy Savanaclaw's Housewarden?

Riddle: That's right. Leona-senpai is also the captain of the Spelldrive club.

Riddle: It's been some time since I've seen him actually actively participating in club practice, though.

Ace: Huh. So, what, you're saying that club's perfect to take it easy in? Didn't expect it to be that lax.

Riddle: You must be joking. Look at their training more carefully.

Spelldrive Club Member A: Huff, puff… Urgh, I can't run anymore…

Spelldrive Club Member B: I g-got no more magic…

Ace: Woah, looks like they're going crazy hard… Glad I didn't join.

Riddle: That reminds me, what club did you join, Ace? Based on what you're wearing, am I right in assuming you joined an athletics club?

Ace: The basketball club! Unlike the Spelldrive club, it's way chiller and relaxed.

Riddle: I see, you chose a team sport… That's rather surprising.

Riddle: From how I see you interact with others in the dorm, I had fully expected you to choose an individual sport.

Ace: You think? I'm actually doin' pretty good as an up-and-coming player on the team.

Ace: Like, for example, my shooting. I can pretty much sink a ball into the hoop without looking after a single glance.

Ace: And I'm pretty good at defense, too.

Ace: I look for where the other guy might try to cut in and steal the ball right from under his nose!

Riddle: I see. I suppose everyone has something they're capable of.

Riddle: You have high spatial awareness. I'll keep that in mind.

Ace: Why do I feel like I just got a backhanded compliment…?

Ace: Okay, but what do you mean by spatial awareness?

Riddle: Spatial awareness means you have the capability to accurately determine the relative condition and position of objects within the given area, and…

Ace: Uhhh～ …Somehow I'm getting more confused now…

Riddle: Sigh. To put it simply…

Riddle: You are able to instantly visualize a scene, including player positions and where the ball and basket are.

Riddle: Although, just because one has this ability doesn't necessarily mean that their body would be capable of keeping pace, so it most likely means that you have good reflexes, as well.

Ace: Huh, you praising me, Housewarden? …Did you eat something you shouldn't've?

Riddle: Don't be rude. Of course I would commend you for your talents.

Riddle: Of course, the main priority should be to behave as the rules dictate, however.

Riddle: As long as you participate well in your club activities, it will only serve to increase Heartslabyul's reputation as a whole. Continue your endeavors without cutting corners.

Ace: I'll do my best. Anyway, I'm kinda getting hungry, should we head back to the dorm?

Riddle: Is that the attitude you should be showing when your Housewarden is giving you advice? Well, no matter. Let us leave.

Ace: 'Kaaay.

Vargas: Alright, guys, you can call it quits after five more sets of passing the disc back and forth!

Spelldrive Club Member A: [gasp, wheeze] …W-We can finally be done… H-Hyah!

Spelldrive Club Member B: Ack! Hey, watch where you're throwing that―

Spelldrive Club Member B: AHH, LOOK OUT!!

Riddle: Hm…?

Ace: Housewarden, look out!

[SLAM!]

Ace: You okay, Housewarden?

Riddle: How were you able to catch the disk from behind you while trying to protect me like that…?

Riddle: I suppose you weren't fibbing when you said you were an up-and-coming player on the basketball team.

Ace: This ain't the time to analyze the situation all casually like that! Yowch, my hand hurts～～!!

Riddle: Of course it does, a Spelldrive disc is made of rather special ore.

Leona: Hey, where do you think you guys were throwing!? Fools!

Spelldrive Club Member A: Eek! S-Sorry, Captain!

Leona: Geez…

Leona: Oh, huh. If it isn't the red-haired brat.

Leona: Hey, you there, flunky number one. Hand over the disc.

Ace: Huuh? Is that really how you should ask for it back?

Ace: If I wasn't here, my Housewarden woulda gotten pummeled, y'know.

Leona: Yeah? Don't think Riddle woulda had any trouble using his magic to flick away a dumb little disk like that.

Leona: See ya. I ain't got time to chat around, unlike you two.

Ace: The hell was that? He pisses me off! He shoulda at least said sorry or something!

Riddle: Indeed. That was no way to speak, even if he were telling the truth.

Ace: Eh? You saying you woulda been able to avoid that?

Riddle: Well, yes, stopping something like that is well within my abilities.

Ace: Ehhh～ Then you shoulda said something. All that effort for nothing!

Riddle: You say that as if I had the time to say something so quickly… However, this did go to help prove how genuine your athletic ability is.

Riddle: Whether it is for a croquet game or an inter-dorm sports tournament… There may come a time in which you would be a great asset for our dormitory.

Riddle: When that time comes, I do hope you'll lend us your strength.

Ace: Ooh, really? I'm pretty good at ball sports, so you can count on me.

Ace: But man, I'd really rather not have any crazy hard training or anything… Heh.

Requested by Anonymous.

[dusty-siltstrider]

Alright I'm gonna ruffle some feathers I think but idk I gotta say something.

For this moment and this moment only I'm going to set aside the rabid Viktor fan that I am and speak as a slightly less rabid Vi fan. She's a very close second and I relate to her the most out of the cast. Love her. So on and so forth. At this point the marketing is frustrating me less as a Viktor fan and more as a Vi fan.

When the Annecy people talked about a goth Vi fighting in the pits piss-drunk mad seeing crazy things I was ECSTATIC. Like holy shit that's such a major turn in her personality! Really fills out that whole "what does Vi do when she has no one left to protect" thing! Wow! Not to mention she's gonna be hot but that's a given. What a shocking thing to see when November comes around aaaand there she is in the trailer okay. Along with what is presumably her act 3 timeskip design judging by the longer hair. Element of surprise gone. Cool.

So where the Viktor part of me gets to waste hours yapping about where he's gonna be in season 2, what his arc will be, what he's gonna look like, what's gonna cause divorce era... feel like we're running out of room for speculation for the main 3. Room for imagination, if you will.

Like WE'VE BEEN KNEW ABOUT PIT FIGHTER VI. This isn't a surprise sneak peek anymore, everyone's either seen her in the trailer or at least heard about the Annecy stuff. Personally I no longer have the same level of insane jittery excitement to see how that arc goes in s2 anymore. Her new design is no longer a surprise and they're going to show even more tomorrow lol. I have little room to ponder "huh wonder what VI's gonna be up to." Pit fighter arc gets started and instead of my jaw dropping going "oh my god Vi honey you really are broken aren't you noooo" it's just... yeah that thing I saw during a Netflix event. Damn. Looks cool still but it's not a shock.

This massive point in both the plot and Vi's arc has become a marketing hype machine. Which dampens, you know, the whole "telling a story" thing.

What do I have to speculate about? Cait's whole iron-fist arc is fairly obvious via marketing, Vi's three-act structure has been pretty clearly laid out, they even spoiled Noxus/Ambessa turning on Piltover. Yeah, think we saw it coming, sure, but I kind of like being able to speculate on stories I enjoy. At least Jinx's revolutionary thing is pretty up in the air (which I still believe is a misdirect but I digress).

Please don't get me wrong, I really like her design and I'm still very excited to see where it goes! Obviously there's still plenty of details in between to fill out and yes I'm being slightly dramatic and yes my salt towards yet again no Viktor may be contributing to this frustration and YES pit fighter Vi is sick and the clip will be cool as fuck no matter what. But I'm honestly a little surprised everyone's so thrilled about this. I'm (likely) not watching it solely to preserve at least some element of surprise because I'm so excited for Vi next season and it sucks that they're just giving this all out in marketing.

Assuming this is the Annecy clip, that's just kinda lazy to reuse btw. But whatever this is lengthy and poorly worded enough.

Anyway bringing back the Viktor fan that I am yes I'm bitter yes I miss him yes I will not stop insisting that throwing in a few voice lines is not only perfectly reasonable as a teaser but would be more effective marketing wise than burning out the Cait/Vi/Jinx stuff bc deadass what else can they show us at this point okay thank you goodnight

[badchoicesworld]

masc!reader and spot just throwing compliments at eachother back and forth like a tennis ball until spot finally caves and gets flustered lol. I like seeing spot happy i think he should be happy

the spot getting flustered by masc!reader

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME A WEEK TO SEE I LITERALLY JUST NEVER GOT ANY KIND OF INDICATION FOR IT ???

like i mentioned before it’s kinda difficult writing for the spot in like a way thats relevant to the plot so these are just outta context things i guess

requests are of course still open, this is first request, so very sorry if this is ass but promise im trying

ok anyway i hope this is okay in this format since you didn’t specify which is completely fine <33

TW: none pairing: the spot x masc!reader

fuckin love this image

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

if either of you had to guess who started it, you’d both be clueless .

it probably began as playful little game, throwing back and forth the exact same phrases like “nooo, you’re the best!” with more umph than the last just because that seems like a very spot thing to do

spot’s probably like “nononono, me? nononono, no. you!” while pointing back and forth at yous with his whole heart and soul (very firm four finger point)

pointing at each other accusatorially but with stupid lil grins (or spots very expressive face hole) while complimenting each other as if they're threats

he either does the "uh? talk to the hand!" thing all sassy and there's just a hole in his palm or he does the "lalalala! i cant hear you, not listening!!" thing

but the longer it went on and the quicker you ran out of oxygen from just extending the vowels, things took a personal turn like “oh, please! who’s the scientist genius here?” and spot probably is a little caught of guard to be genuinely recognised for his actual intellect but probably regains his composure pretty quickly with a silly little “oh- hey now, no fair!” then probably calls you handsome or smthn for actually looking like a person (ily strange hole man)

few more back and forth “no, you!” statements before it gets personal again, spot slaps you with a “well i’mmm not the most compassionate person in the world!” something along those lines with the most exaggerated hand gestures ever because he’s so silly

only for you to immediately counter with a once in a life time compliment that sits with him for the next decade of his life, probably something mentioning his determination, intellect, personality.. things that would typically be overlooked and all he can really do is sit and gape, before he starts to fidget with his hands a little all awkward like

hurried little “.. okay- yeah, alright, fine.. you win.” oh poor boy feels so flustered but happy deep down

looking away while tapping like the pads of his index fingers together while the rest of his fingers are intertwined, kinda like a pondering business man except he’s just a funky fella

he gets flustered, but after a bit you both die down in a kinda warm silence

some time passes where you just bask in the comfort of each others presence, but you can't help yourselves

a few more lil comments are exchanged like “smart”, “funny”, "cool", "silly"

obviously aimed at each other but it's all spot can muster now

eventually, the banter dies off for good and you're both just left feeling all sunshine and rainbows cause you got to make each other feel better

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

[eldritchcreatureofwords]

Blitz and Octavia bonding headcanons?

LOL oh my God here we go: - Blitz doesn't expect Octavia to like him- like ever. He's amazed Stolas likes him. He doesn't like himself. He's the other "woman" and the reason her parent's marriage ended. So he's very surprised to find they connect with one another over a shared love of music- genre in particular. They like the same styles, the same bands, and the same songs, and when she catches him humming something she's familiar with absently one day she is surprised and pleased. It becomes a little ritual; sharing music they think the other will enjoy, texting links to videos back and forth to one another. -Octavia is a Good Girl. She's almost never done anything wrong or out of line a day in her life. Blitz's rebellious, dangerous streak is new to her, but when she's having a bad day, stressed, anxious, or just needs to get something out of her system, he takes her to the edges of the ring and finds old, dilapidated buildings. He teaches her how to throw rocks through the windows, works on her aim and getting her further and further away from her target and needing more and more force to nail her 'shots'.

-He also finds old, unused shit for them to shamelessly steal- old signs, traffic lights, whatever looks cool. Her room ends up decorated in this old shit that Stella says is tacky garbage if she ever sees it and Stolas says is charming.

-They also share a love of art. Octavia seems to have gotten an artistic streak passed down from her dad, and Blitz adores drawing, and sometimes they'll doodle each other in the most outlandish caracatures imaginable and give them to one another. Blitz keeps every single one Octavia has ever made of him, tucked safely in his desk at work.

-He has a surprising tolerance and patience for being her Barbie doll. He will happily let her spend hours practicing her make-up skills on him, testing outfits, styling wigs, painting his claws. Stolas does this, too, with just as much patience as Blitz, but Blitz tends to give her real critique while Stolas will just heap on praise. -They mall-crawl together. He actually tends to keep out of her way, keeping her safe from a distance, but will appear at her side in an instant when she wants him. They have similar taste in clothing and brands, and he expands hers a little. It's a ritual to eat the nastiest, greasiest thing they can get their mouths on when they're done and top it off with something unhealthily sugary.

-Related: once in a while, if she's very lucky, he'll go in with her to an escape room or laser tag venue in the mall, where she can bust out her smarts and he can show off his skills. Sometimes it's an in-mall arcade instead.

[torao-chan]

So going back and forth about Leander I was wondering how quick you caught on to his scheming. Because I first I didn’t like him but I didn’t really have a reason why I just didn’t. But upon rereading his dialogue I was like hmmmmm

Oh man, I clicked like. maybe three lines in.

I have what my friend affectionately dubs an 'evil-dar'. I may not be able to tell you exactly why someone's fucked up, but if I see them and I immediately like them- they fucked up.

Probably, I think the earliest sign for me, was the emphasis on performing.

A pair of gilded boots stride across the tabletop. "Seriously, you dogs? Again?" Scattered laughter and cheers rise from the audience. I drag my eyes upwards... a well-dressed man stand on the table in front of me, his broad shoulder framed by the thick lapels of a trench coat. "This really is the last time, alright?" This time, when he speaks, the audience falls silent, as though bewitched by his magnetic presence or rich, low voice. But nothing is as captivating as his smile. He beams at the crowd around him, a performer on his makeshift stage. "Don't blink, or you'll miss it."

These were the bits the immediately drew me in, the bolded bits. And it's the bolded, italicized bits that immediately made me go 'he's hiding something, and it's horrific, and I want to know more.'

Gilded boots in a downtown pub; carefully designed, likely expensive in taste, and yet he's in the slums- the place where people pull a face when you mention going there. It doesn't say cheaply gilded, or with a fancy design- it's just gilded. It's intentionally not giving us much, but telling us something important- this is a man who is conscious of his appearance. Of how he looks, how he presents, right down to the design on his boot. And he cares enough to throw money at it. If it was just from his upbringing, he wouldn't maintain them, wouldn't still have them today. We don't have a word describing how put together the boots are, how well maintained, but we do immediately get told that he's a performer. It's highly likely that they are chosen and maintained intentionally.

"This really is the last time, alright?" is tasty tasty to me. How will this be inflected, when voiced properly? Is this an establishment of boundaries, from a man placating his pack of puppies? A certain firmness there, that indicates that his word is law here; he's not joking this time? Or is it a man caving to the pleads of his people, throwing them another bone to keep them satisfied in between working on other schemes? Either way, this is a man who has power and is prone to indulging people; and indulging them in a way that indicates he is above them. Whether intentionally or not, consciously or not, this is the stance it takes- to me, at least.

The audience is bewitched by him, the mage. His charisma is high, he's generally liked and adored, and that means he's a man who can get away with a lot of shit. He can work a crowd, appeal to masses and individuals as one, and makes them all feel special- whether they're all together or by themselves. This gets emphasized a lot later, too, and in a lot of his profiles and lil details, but this is when I knew that. He knows how to work a person, and that usually comes from trauma or social ambition, and either way- I'm interested and hungry.

The fact that they outright state he's "a performer on his makeshift stage" makes me so ravenous alksjgldsjgl. The table is his stage, the pub is his stage, heck! The whole town is his stage and he's performing nonstop the entire time we interact with him. Fake or real, undecided- but performing nonetheless. A performance doesn't have to be dishonest, but it is intentional. And intentional means that there's a goal to be achieved- grand or otherwise.

And then there's the warning.

Three lines in (damn, I was right- literally three lines of dialogue from him).

"Don't blink, or you'll miss it."

Such an enticing statement, always. It's so easy to miss, his flashes of soul under the performance. The moment in the pub, later, when he's content to leave the chaos to reign until the player turns to him for help (and then he sighs, like he didn't want to, wasn't planning to, but who was he to let down a new audience member?). The moment of flat on his face, when you refuse his hand, and he grabs you anyway, determined to pull you into his web, into his puppet show. You could be a valuable piece- a fresh pawn off the woodcarver's table, and unblemished, yet, by the rest of the city. The moment when he looses his composure slightly, unaware to what extent Kuras had seen you during your examination.

There's so much there that sold him to me immediately as a favourite, as a schemer, as someone to watch out for because they've always got a knife three inches from your back, and that is super attractive, but man.

Yea, three lines of dialogue in, and I knew.

As my friend said, I have an 'evil-dar'. asdlkjlgsjg if I like the character, she knows 9/10 times, they're definitely fucked up in some way aslkjdklgsdg

[hattafan2593]

Buggy x Reader Fic Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

--------------------------------------

A month had passed, and Crocodile and Mihawk kept true to their word. Outside of insults and cold remarks, they left their "leader" unscathed.

And it was driving Buggy absolutely bonkers.

He was so certain that they were planning something, that they were plotting his assassination.

It admittedly wasn't outside the realm of possibility, but you found it unlikely. While they were certainly more powerful, Buggy had more clout, and his followers were in the hundreds if not thousands. Killing him now would only result in a riot that would no doubt set whatever plans they had back considerably.

This combined with your leverage over the two made you certain that your paranoid boyfriend had nothing to fear.

Buggy was, unfortunately, not convinced.

Currently, he was pacing up and down your shared tent. His feet were disconnected from his body and they frantically shuffled after him as he floated in mid-air.

"I'm dead! I'm done for! They're planning something I just know it!"

"Buggy."

"Did you see the way that guy was looking at me?! He's working for them, I know he is! They somehow got one of my crew to spy on me!"

"Buggy."

"Gasp! What if they're spying on us right now?! They could've planted bugs all over this tent! Quick, help me look!"

"Red nose."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SA-"

You grabbed Buggy by the nose and pulled him towards you, so he was looking you in the eye.

"You finished?"

"Uh-huh." came his nasally reply.

You let go of his nose and cupped his cheeks. "Buggy. Mihawk and Crocodile aren't trying to kill you."

"But how do you know that?!"

You smirked. "Trust me. They wouldn't dare. Not if they know what's good for them."

Buggy blinked in confusion.

You placed your hands on your hips. "Let's just say that those two underestimated just how loyal one your followers could be, and they were given an offer they couldn't refuse."

"R-really?"

"Really."

Buggy stared for a couple of minutes, then burst out into laughter.

"Gyahahahahaha! Serves you right, ya bastards! That's what you get for messing with the great and powerful Buggy-sama!"

He suddenly stopped, his eyes darting back and forth. "But uh, don't tell them I said that, ok?"

"Mum's the word, dear heart."

Buggy let out a great sigh, then plopped on the bed next to you. "Ya know, I really owe that guy a huge one. I outta pay'im back somehow. A feast? A bigger cut of treasure? Whatta you think?"

Your smirk turned into a sly grin. "Oh, I can think of one thing they'd appreciate."

"Yeah? What iMMMPH!"

Buggy's question was smothered by the sudden kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and you both fell backwards onto the bed.

And so, Cross Guild was flourishing.

Mihawk and Crocodile still ran things for the most part, but publicly, they kowtowed to Buggy. Well, as much as their pride would allow at any rate.

Buggy, for his part, was content to let them do as they pleased so long as they kept up appearances and didn't try to hurt him. Which you thought was wise - provoking them unnecessarily might cause them to throw caution to the wind and lash out.

Interestingly, Buggy's crew had begun sucking up to him again. They obviously saw a shift in dynamics between the three company heads and were trying to get back in his good graces.

You knew deep down that Buggy would forgive them...after he watched them squirm for a little bit first.

You, on the other hand, made it abundantly clear that they were all on very thin ice, Galdino especially. You told him, in no uncertain terms, that if he ever pulled a stunt like that again, he would be serving Crocodile, all right...as lunchmeat for his bananawani.

Overall, though, things were going well. Buggy had decided to pull you out of the field and keep you close to base. You suspected it was to keep Mihawk and Crocodile in line, though he claimed otherwise.

You didn't mind; this just meant you had more time to spend with your boyfriend. It had been a while since your last date, and you were looking forward to it.

You would occasionally cross paths with Buggy's "partners". They would glare at you with deadly intent, and you would sweetly smile back, knowing that you had their balls in a vice and there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it.

Honestly, they had no one to blame but themselves. After all, it was only natural for a pirate to try and protect their most precious treasure.

The end.

[sickiesope]

Can you please write a ff where Jimin gets hurt while they’re recording for Run BTS? He tries to hide it but he just can’t ignore the pain? The caretakers will be the other members.

Thanks 💛

Or can you write a ff where all the members are sick and then take care of each other? And Jimin ends up forgetting about his health and gets worse?

Thank you so much in advance 💛

Thank you for these amazing requests!! 💜 when writing this story I ended up leaning towards the second prompt, about all the members being sick and I tried my best getting in everyone taking care of each other. This was fun to do!!

Sick x7

Sickies: OT7

Caretakers: OT7 but mostly Jimin

TW: emeto

Summary: Jimin's going back and forth taking care of everyone else, forgetting about himself.

A stomach bug has been going around and the members have all gradually fallen ill. Jin and Yoongi were first to get it and were sick for two days. They're doing better now but still lay low. It spread and reached the rest of the members throughout the week. Hoseok and Namjoon caught it next from their hyungs, and then the maknae line. Right now the youngest three are in the worst of it, especially Jimin. But Jimin doesn't want to been seen as "weak". He can absolutely still care for his members, even if he's tired and already threw up twice today. He just wants them to feel better.

Taehyung woke up feeling sick and he's been stuck in his bed throwing up in the garbage bin. He didn't even get up for breakfast. He has no appetite anyway and his head is splitting.

"Welp, sounds like it's made it all around" Hoseok sighs. Hoseok has been throwing up both from the virus and from everything going on around him.

Jungkook is pale and holding onto his tummy, he realized he finally caught it too. His stomach churns and Jungkook threw up in the kitchen sink and when Hoseok saw it he got queasy and threw up too. Hoseok went all over the floor and him and JK are both vomiting in the kitchen. After that they just looked at each other, both in shock and sympathetic to another. It felt quite weird and kind of awkward.

"Oh hyung, I'm so sorry!" Jungkook chokes out.

"No Kookie, it's okay" Hoseok says feebly "I just have a weak stomach."

Jin and Jimin are shocked at the sight when they enter. Hoseok is bent over trying to catch his breath and Jungkook is crying.

"Oh gosh, what happened?!" Jimin escorted Hoseok back to his bedroom, as he's too squeamish to be around the mess.

Jin takes Jungkook's hand and puts him to bed. "Awh you poor things."

Jimin runs back to the kitchen, attempting to clean the floor. He also wants to make tea for everyone that wants.

"Jimin, you shouldn't be running around like that. You're sick too" Yoongi says. He squats down beside him, helping him clean. Jimin sighs, he knows the older is right. He just wants to be useful, he hates sitting around too much. Maybe cleaning up vomit isn't the most suitable thing right now, but he just wants to help. Namjoon joins in on cleaning the kitchen. It makes him feel queasy too and it smells so bad but he keeps at it.

They can still hear Taehyung and Jungkook retching from their rooms.

Jimin pours a glass of water for Taehyung and finds the hot pad for JK. Jimin walks briskly, holding each thing in both hands. He quickly gives Taehyung the water and JK the pad. Taehyung watches Jimin dashing around with weary eyes and sips the water slowly. He wants to get up and help Jimin but he feels too nauseas to move.

Jimin comes back to ask him "how are you feeling?"

"Tired.." Taehyung says hoarsely "hyung you don't look so great yourself."

"Don't worry about me" Jimin says nonchalantly "I'm gonna check on Kookie."

Jungkook is still too busy puking, the hot pad sitting on his bedside. The splashing sounds almost make Jimin want to vomit again. "Hyung.." JK gags and Jimin winces at the vomit ripping from his throat into the bin. Jimin backs up out again, he's getting sicker by the minute. In the hallway Taehyung and Jungkook are both heard puking and Jimin can't stand the noises echoing from their doors. A sudden retch from Hoseok's room randomly appears again. This is a nightmare.

Jimin runs away and finds the bathroom door is closed. "Dammit" he mutters. Namjoon can be heard heaving into the toilet. The rapper thought he was doing better but his stomach had a little more sour contents to get rid of. And cleaning up kitchen floor vomit sure didn't help. Jin is in there with him rubbing his back.

Jimin runs to the kitchen with his hand clamped over his mouth. He looks into the sink that Yoongi just cleaned from Jungkook. He takes a heavy shaky breath, then gags and spits out clear liquid and then heaves out a heavier wave with his lunch mixed in. Jimin pants and sighs deeply. His stomach hurts and he feels nauseous. But he still had to make tea. He's looking for the kettle with his blurry vision and doesn't hear Namjoon come up behind him, rubbing his back.

"You should be -- *cough* taking it easy, Jiminie" the leader says to him.

"B-but, I'm fine" Jimin sputters and spits out more water.

"You're barely standing upright" Namjoon points out. Jimin is leaning hard on the sink. He looks down and spits out more saliva that keeps building up in his mouth; another hint that he has more to bring up. Jimin retches and his stomach squeezes out the rest of his undigested lunch.

"Oh my god.." Jimin pants.

"You should lie down, I freed the couch for you." Namjoon offers.

"Thanks hyung, but I'll lie down later. I want to help Tae --" Jimin gags again and turns back to the sink. His stressed stomach lurches, tossing out everything. Jimin runs the water, trying to clean the mess he made. It doesn't do much but Jimin's so nauseous he can hardly think straight. Namjoon gently moves him to the couch and the leader cleans the sink himself. He doesn't like seeing Jimin so sick and stumbling everywhere. He's worried he might faint.

After he's done Namjoon gets a glass of water for Jimin. But when he gets back the couch is empty. "Oh my god, seriously?" Namjoon huffs. "Jimin? Jimin!" he's a bit irritated that Jimin just got up and ran off again when he's falling apart.

Jimin is back in Jungkook's room, he's feeling his forehead and asking him questions "How are you feeling? Does your tummy still hurt? Do you want water?"

Jungkook looks at Jimin's pale complexion "umm hyung, do you feel okay? You look pretty pale"

"I'm good, Kookie. Do you want some tea?"

"Um, I don't know if I can stomach that right now.. but you sure you're alright?

"Yes Kookie, I'm fine. Here, let me clean this" Jimin takes the garbage bin Jungkook was throwing up in. Right when Jimin leaves JK's room, Hoseok walks back out. Hoseok gets a short look at the vomit soiled bin Jimin's holding and his stomach turns again. "Oh my god" he gags into his hand and runs to the now free bathroom.

Yoongi follows behind the dancer. This whole thing feels unreal. Jimin feels bad for accidentally setting Hobi off again. Hopefully some tea can help. Jimin's going back and forth taking care of everyone else, forgetting about himself.

Jimin returns to the kitchen where he's greeted by Jin and Namjoon standing there looking at him. Their arms are crossed but their facial expressions soft.

"Come on, Jiminah, you're taking a rest right now." The oldest tells him. "Joon was right, you look terrible."

"Hyungg" Jimin whined "I still have to do this for Kookie" Jin takes it from him to clean without a second thought. Jimin is surprised but relieved that he doesn't have to clean up more vomit. His stomach is especially relieved.

"B-but I still have to m-make tea.."

"No, Jiminah. You have to rest up." Namjoon takes him to bed and tucks him in "I don't want to see you get up again. Just close your eyes and relax, let the hyungs help" he smiles warmly. He doesn't scold his tired sick doseang.

"You tucked me in so tight I can't move" Jimin lightly teases, yawning.

"Good." Namjoon chuckles, ruffling his hair.

[missamyrisa2]

Amy, dear, you have got to stop putting such tantalizing ideas in your "that's tickle hot" posts. I NEED more of the "ticklebullied while the ringleader stands by and smirks" one (I don't remember your exact wording but it got me very hot and bothered)

Oooh my darling ~ that's exactly what the tickle hot posts are supposed to do ~ give you juuuuust that tinyyyy little taste of pure tickly hotness and leave you sooooo wanting and desperate and sensitive to the scenario~<33

But I'm feeling soooo kind so I am going to completely wreck you for a moment~

Their smirk cuts through the noise and fills you with immeasurable, inconceivable tingles. Their casual pace across the room suddenly stopped short, and every member of the gang halted for a moment as you feel your lungs trying to catch up. "Mmmmh.... tickle 'em" The decision is made once again, the order dictated to the swarm of smiling faces and wiggling fingers. Your pinned body is weakened further by relentless stroking of fingers under your toes, under your arms, tracing the knees and rubbing your sides earnestly. They massage you to weakness. The fingers are a blur between your tears ~ some are painted, some plain, some summon jingles as their wrists are adorned with jewelry, and some graze your skin with cool metals of rings. It's a symphony of beautiful finger types, and they're all practicing the longest number on your canvas~

Your squeals and giggles and gasps only encourage their cooing, the utter delight your body's helpless dance is giving them. You beg for it to stop, plead for mercy catching eyes with each gang member who acts as though they don't hear it, and only see your screwed up face for the giggles. The ringleader hears you loud and clear, and they make sure to connect their eyes to yours before flashing that smirk and shaking their head back and forth.

Begging turns to protest and defiance. You reach down deep past your giggle zones in the belly and summon the deepest growl and snarl you can manage. Your tummy flexes as fingers dance on your sides and up your ribs and squeeze about your thighs. With every bit of strength you throw your body forward to break from the legs pinning your arms. The gang chuckles knowingly, a hand brushing your cheek adoringly before pinching it~ "Oh~! Pinch 'em" the ringleader catches your reaction to that taunt and injects a whole new level of bullying, eager to work that new fight right out of you~ their fingers making the pinchy pinchy motion, some of them even saying pinchy pinchy as they move to capture sensitive muscles with those taunting bullying squeezes~! How unfortunate that your pinkened tickled skin becomes so receptive to producing hyper sensations when pinched all over ~ pinchies up your legs, down your arms, and~~~ "Nipples too~" The ringleader sighs as they check their nails, pacing back to take in the progress of your helpless bucking form~ the gang snaps to it, fingers centering around your royal chest buttons as they smiles to one another, chuckling knowingly and fawning over your dramatic reactions while they line up to take turns pinching and tweaking and squeezing~

"Hmm. I want to see them cum..." the ringleader turns on a heel, grinning brightly. The gang members bounce up and dig into a treasure box of toys. Their eyes gleam as you are looking up at an arsenal of vibrating tools. Some are long and cylindrical, others are wands with padded bulbs of varying sizes, some are metal and shiny others are colored. One by one the toys fire up with threatening buzzes. The toys that light up are probably the worst, especially the one that flashes incessantly with a pulsing beam. "Oh, and tickle 'em..." Every toy is joined by a set of wiggly fingers, the one-two tease which is centering over your tickled pinched skin and muscles. You growl, you plead, you beg, you insult and your bargain. They can't be reasoned with. Buzzes fill your underarms as fingers trace the outer rims. Vibing tips glide around your navel, fingers poke and stroke to catch every bounce. Intense throbbing bullets are nestled under your toes while your soles are tortured mercilessly with long nails stroking. A big bulb caresses your thigh up and down growing closer to your royal area. "One finger tickle~" And the most royal spot is taunted by a single finger, the second in command is directed by the head bully who watches with a look of contempt as you are coaxed out to feel good, made to be aroused for their amusement. But only through that single skilled fingertip, gliding ever so lightly as all the vibing tools work around your body ~ every one of those vibrators could push you into an orgasm quickly, and none of them are going to do it ~ they will instead be used to bully your body up to this edge, and you can't backslide or avoid it with that single finger edging you along.

The ringleader watches you giggle and gasp, and moan and laugh and struggle. Their smile is mere inches from your face now, growing closer as you are forced closer to the climax. The vibrations are all over your nerves, tickling and teasing and taunting, daring you to cum. That single incessant finger wiggles in a squiggly line on your royal part with feather-like touches. So close, so very close~ you know it'll mean more bullying but you don't even care now ~ and yetttt~ with a 'snap!' it is all taken away, the ringleader's face is still right in yours, smiling as you are left to buck and writhe and suffer the tickly edge~

"Tickle 'em~"

[runningfrom2am]

the sea around us; chapter seventeen

In which Rafe Cameron has to choose between his dad and a pogue who's changing his outlook on life more and more every day.

(rafe cameron x f!oc)

(eventual!jj maybank x f!oc)

warnings/tags: violence, drug/alcohol use, smoking, sexual content (if you squint), slowburn, older brother’s best friend, (these tags are obv not exhaustive but regardless it’s pretty PG13)

wc: 1.7k

my masterlist

series masterlist

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

~Rafe's POV~

I haven't heard from Snowy since we came in from the pool together. Pretty much she's been fully occupied with the Pogues ever since. I wonder what they're doing, if she's safe. That's a stupid thought, so I brush it quickly out of my mind. What I can't seem to keep out of my mind is how amazing it felt to kiss her. Everything about her is so soft- her lips are no different. Fully sober and I think it gave me butterflies, I haven't kissed someone like that since I was fifteen. It's almost refreshing.

I try not to think about Snowy for long enough to get in a quick bump. I'm hardly successful. Then I grab my golf club and get ready to line up my shot, but I'm distracted by my friends laughing and talking. "Hey, uh, can you guys shut up, for like three seconds?" I ask, turning back to Topper, Kegs, and Kelce. "We've got to hurry if we want to finish this hole- the sun is setting," I say.

"Yeah, yeah of course." Kelce says, raising his hands.

They're ridiculously quiet at this point, definitely just making fun of me. I line myself up again, take the swing, and fluke it right as I hear one of their phones rings.

"Bro, are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"Hey, man, sorry, how was I supposed to know?" Kegs says, digging his phone out of his pocket.

I roll my eyes and walk back to the cart, throwing my club in as he answers it.

"Hey, Snowy." Instantly he's got my attention, and I turn to watch. He looks confused.

"Snowy? You there?" He asks again, I'm guessing he got no response. "If this is some stupid prank call it's not funny." He pulls it from his ear and puts it on speaker since we're all listening now.

We hear some static, and then some whispers as we look around at each other, confused. "Leon... it's late. I've been waiting for you.."

"What the fuck?" Topper laughs.

"Hey, shh." I shush him as the whispers continue.

"Guys, oh my god what do we do?" It's Snowy, I'd recognize her voice anywhere.

"Snowy?" I ask, but again, no response.

"We have to get down there, like, right now." And Sarah?

Suddenly, we hear some screaming, then the sound of something getting smashed, and then it cuts out.

I feel myself start shaking instantly, and I start pacing back and forth, running my hand through my hair. "Rafe, man, it's fine. They're just pranking Kegs, probably high out of their minds or something." Kelce says and I shake my head.

"Dude, no- you don't understand, you don't know-" I start but I'm cut off.

"I love you, dude, but you're absolutely pussy-whipped." He jokes and I shove him back into the golf cart.

"You don't know shit!" I hear myself shouting.

"Rafe, buddy, calm down, hey.." Kegs says, pulling me off of Kelce and wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I feel sick- I feel sick and I wish no one was touching me. Then I shove him off too.

"No, no... You guys don't know what those pogues have roped her into, I don't even really know but last week she was getting shot at because of that punk JJ, apparently, who's pulled them into some drug debts or some shit-" I try to explain.

"Rafe, they're fine. They're fine but let's just head back to the club, and we can go to John B's to check on them, alright?" Topper says and Kegs shakes his head in confusion.

"Wait, did you say drugs?" He asks and I nod. "Not like weed, right, you mean like hard shit?"

"I don't know, man. She just said "drugs", okay?" I sigh.

"Fuck- dude..." Kegs says, taking his hat off and rubbing his forehead. "What do we do? I've done everything I possibly can to keep her out of that and it's just not enough, apparently."

"Look, maybe it's just Barry and we can talk to him?" I suggest hopefully, not that I fully believe it.  "I- uh... I could get some money from my dad, I know how to get into the safe, and we could pay him out."

"He definitely would have said something to us if my sister and your.. I don't know, friend, as well as your sister and Topper's girl all were involved with him. No way he wouldn't say something." Kegs says, and I know he's right. "And you know we already owe him so we probably shouldn't poke the bear man."

"I... Okay, uh..." I try to think of a plan of action and calm down at the same time. I'm no help to her if I'm panicking. "Let's just get out of here, okay? We'll call Snowy when we get back to the club, and we'll try and find her." I insist, getting in the golf cart and my friends climb in.

The whole drive back I can feel myself shaking, I'm bouncing my leg and just trying to focus on finishing the drink Topper gave me to try and calm me down. It's far from working. I'm literally hearing that screaming in my head over and over again. It just won't stop. We eventually make it back, after the longest drive of my life. As soon as we get to the parking lot I'm on my phone, waiting for Snowy to pick up as I pace next to my car. It rings out until I hear her voice on the machine, I have to try again. I hangup and try again. This time, she answers.

I immediately hear laughter in the background. "Hi Rafe!" She sounds so happy- sloshed, too, probably. I furrow my brows. I assume she leaves, because the background noise slows to a stop.

"Snowy? What happened? Are you okay?" I fire off.

"I- yeah. I'm great. I'm great." She giggles. "What's up with you?"

"No, no, no, no don't do this to me." I sigh, walking away out of earshot of my nosey friends.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"You don't know? Do you remember when you called Kegs, about twenty minutes ago, screaming, and- and, and I heard this banging sound like someone was bashing you with a crowbar?" I say.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have butt-dialled him." She responds casually. I ball up my fist.

"Okay but you're not telling me what happened, here. You're not answering me."

"Nothing happened, Rafe. Everything is fine. We're safe. You don't need to worry." She says, that reassuring tone of hers taking over.

"No, I do, tell me."

"There's nothing to tell, even if there was, I don't know how it's your business anyhow." She slurs. Yeah, definitely drunk.

"If it's you, if it's your safety, it's my business. You are my business, Snowy." I say frustratedly, looking back at my friends as I talk, seeing they're still listening and having a laugh at me.

"Rafe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out, okay? I shouldn't have said that. But I promise you right now, we are fine. I am safe- okay?"

I sigh and rub my head as she continues. "We were watching a movie at The Chat, now we're just hanging out, having some bevies, hotboxing the Twinkie..." She laughs a little. I can't focus with those screams echoing in the back of my head, her screams. And she's trying to gaslight me right now.

"I know what I heard." I say slowly.

"No, I know, I believe you." Her voice is so soft- I can almost taste the sweetness of it in my state. "I just, we were watching a scary movie, and I am high off my ass. I don't know what I said or did, but I'm sorry I scared you."

"It's okay, Snow." I sigh, shaking my hand to loosen up my muscles after I had my fist clenched for so long. I don't want to believe she's lying to me. I mean, clearly she is fine. She's alive, and she sounds like she's having fun. "I just- it's so hard to predict what kind of shit you're getting into when you're with them and it's hard for me to keep track of that and make sure that you're good. Like it would be nice to have a heads up if you're going to be in danger- which seems pretty common for you-"

"Hey, I'm good." Snowy cuts me off, curbing my rant that even I knew wasn't going anywhere. "I get it, you're just like... a proactive type of person. You like to have a hold on things before they go wrong and that's great, I really appreciate you looking out for me."

I nod a little bit and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding with my panic. "Yeah... I guess so. I just like to be prepared, you know?" I agree.

"Totally, and that makes you really smart because a lot of guys around our age can't think ten minutes into the future." I can hear the smile in her tone, she's being so genuine. "That being said, Rafe, I'm okay. Despite what you think, my friends wouldn't let anything happen to me."

I smile a little to myself at that. She thinks I'm smart- this inflates my ego more than I know it probably should. When I don't respond because I'm processing what she said, she speaks again. "Hey, why don't you come over, and we'll take out the boat, just the two of us..." She says, trailing off.

I look back at her brother, already feeling his eyes on me. I know he can't hear her, but I can, and that is too much already.

"I would love to, you know I'd love to, but.. I just can't. I'm busy I can't." I shake my head, more trying to convince myself.

"Aw, okay.." She replies. If I don't hangup right now I'll fold. I just know it. Besides, I have to figure out how to pay Barry so I can get my bike back, like as soon as possible.

"Bye, Snowy. I'll talk to you later." I say before quickly hanging up. I shove my phone into my pocket and walk back over to my friends.

"They're fine." I tell Kegs, getting in my car and driving off before he can say anything.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

A/N; Another short one today sorryyyyy -R

taglist: @boo22sstuff@madelynie (message me if you want to be added!!)

[airplanned]

WIP Wednesday

I've been reading a lot of dire and horrifying and amazing stories lately, and I wanted to write something Super Goofy.

So here's the One Piece guys trying to con Nami to win a bet, which goes exactly as well as expected and has no intro whatsoever.

...

"You bet on when we would hook up?" Zoro asks.

"Uhhh," Usopp says.

Why the fuck would they do that?  That's one of the weirdest things he's ever heard that didn't involve magic or unicycles or Luffy.

Okay, maybe it's not really that weird, but it still doesn't make any sense.

From across the room, Sanji looks so confused that he can't even speak, something that has never happened before.  He just has his stupid eyes squinted and his mouth half open about to say something.  Then a different something.  Then a different something..  Zoro's just thinking that maybe Usopp's nonsense has a silver lining after all, when Sanji eventually lands on, "...Why?"

Usopp looks back and forth between them, but doesn't answer.

"How much was the bet?" Sanji asks.

"A million berry?"  As soon as he says it, Usopp throws up his hands to defend himself.  "I was drunk!  And I don't have a million berry, so maybe if y'all could just hold out--I mean, if you could continue not making out until after midsummer, I'd really appreciate it."

"I'm not doing anything you'd appreciate right now," Zoro mutters, even though on second thought, not making out is exactly how he wants this situation to play out, so what is he even talking about?  Thankfully Usopp is too nervous to notice the stupid thing he just said, and Sanji has his head tilted as he thinks way too hard about something else.

"So Nami bet before midsummer," Sanji says.

"Yeah."

"And you bet before when?"

"I bet--Oh!  I bet never.  Because you two aren't like that.  Obviously.  See, I'm on your side."  He nods enthusiastically.

"Gonna call bullshit on that one, man," Sanji says.  "You bet even earlier."

"Whaaaat?  Meee?  That would be--That'd be the worst bet ever."

"A drunk bet," Zoro mutters.

What the fuck?  Why is the crew talking about him while they're drunk?

A smile spreads across Sanji's face.  Sharklike.  It makes Usopp back up a step.  It makes all the hair on the back of Zoro's neck stand on end.  Alarm bells go off in the back of his head.

Nothing good can come of that look.

"Usopp," Sanji says, "how would you like to make a third of a million berry?"

#

It's a bad plan.  The absolute worst kind of convoluted nonsense that's bound to go wrong and cause trouble.  At least this time no one's in danger of dying (unless Nami kills them).  And Zoro is used to going along with stupid-assed plans, resigned to his position as first mate to mitigate damage. 

He's also not gonna say no to a third of a million berries, and he'll get to get back at Nami for being too much in his business.

Honestly, he's kinda surprised the waiter came up with a plan that relies so heavily on fucking over Nami, but Zoro's not about to point that out.

"Alright, let's go through the plan one more time," Sanji says. "Usopp, your job is to patch the rip in the spare sail we've all been putting off.  She'll be pleased to see you're doing it, so when your hands are full and you ask her to go get you some more glue, she'll go get it for you."

For a brief moment, Zoro thinks maybe this whole scheme is a big double cross, intended to trick Usopp into doing the chores no one wants to do. 

"This will bring her down here to storage, where Zoro and I will wait.  We kiss once."  He holds up a single finger.  "When her footsteps reach the bottom of the stairs.  Then pull apart right after she opens the door.  She will have her evidence that the bet is won.  At this point--"  He points at Zoro.

"I say my line," he recites, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.  This is not the stupidest thing he's ever done, but it's close.

"And it is--"

"Get out."

"Good job, Mossball.  And I'll say, 'Don't speak to Nami like that!'"

"Then we fight."

"Exactly.  Win the bet and break up in one single swoop.  We can't have this charade going on any longer than it needs to.  I will defend her honor and you'll say--"

"This was a mistake."

"I am revolted that I touched you.  It must have been a moment of insanity."

"I will throw you off the front of the ship and then run you over."

"Perfect!" Sanji beams.  "Alright, let's win a million berries!"

Zoro and Usopp exchange a look.  Zoro's says, "This is fucking stupid."  Usopp's weird cringe that shows off all his bottom teeth says that he has no desire to do any part of this plan, but he's also very afraid of getting kicked in the chest.

Zoro rolls his eyes.  "Fuck it."

#

Now's the part in the brilliant plan that will supposedly fool Nami (for fuck's sake, this isn't gonna work) when they need to look like they were making out.

Ugh.

Just to be annoying, Zoro shoves at Sanji's jacket to get him to take it off.  Then tries to throw it on the floor when he's successful in getting it off, but the waiter catches it before it hits the ground.  "Hey!  Don't throw it on the floor.  That's a nice jacket!"  He sets it on top of a box so it won't wrinkle or something.

Zoro gives it a long look.

"What?"

"So we stumbled in here, tore off your jacket, and then stopped everything to gently fold it and set it down very carefully?  That's the story you're tell here?"

"Oh, and you think we should rip it in half or something?  You monster." He's going after the knot in his tie with more irritation than is probably good for it.

Zoro takes his seat on a crate chosen to be at optimal height and right in the line of sight of the door.  He shifts his swords around, but suspects they're going to be in the way no matter what. "At least throw it on the floor."

"It's dirty!"

Zoro rolls his eyes so hard his head hits the hull behind him. 

Now Sanji has his tie in his hands and is about to set it down in  tidy pile on top of his jacket before he thinks better of it.  His eyes dart to Zoro, and at his bland look, he tosses it onto a barrel in a way that Zoro guesses is supposed to make it look natural, but is actually overly-purposeful.

Sanji undoes like half the buttons on his shirt, and Zoro scruffs up his hair, and then he suddenly has a lap full of cook.  Before he can be overly-annoyed by this, Sanji's going after his hair, because apparently Zoro didn't do a good enough job making it disheveled on his own.  Zoro gets back at him by ruffling his hair, which gets way more messed up, and then tugging his shirt down one shoulder so it'll show off skin.

Zoro tries to adjust his swords again (hey, guess what, they're in the way) when Sanji tugs up Zoro's shirt by the hem until it's caught under his armpits.

"Stop touching my hair!"  Sanji swats at him and then glares from behind a lot of messed up hair.

Zoro snorts and then tries to use both hands to push it aside.

"I said stop touching it!"

"I'm not kissing you through the hair, dumbass."

"And whose fault is that?"

"All of this is your fault."

"I'll keep your cut then."

"This isn't gonna work."

"It's fine.  Shut up.  You--"

Someone's coming down the stairs.

For a second, they give each other wide-eyed looks, because fuck, they didn't not think any of this through.  And then her steps his the bottom of the stairs, and Sanji has a hand in his hair, yanking him into a kiss, that's brutal and moving and roaring.  Zoro's fist tightens on the dress shirt, pulling it further down his arm, using it to pull him closer.  Sanji's breath from his nose beats hot against his cheek, his hand splaying against Zoro's chest inside his rucked up shirt, his fingers chilly and Zoro's skin erupting in goosebumps. 

Zoro's trying to deal with the tongue in his mouth, making sure he gives back as good as he gets, so he misses the door opening, but he hears the sharp gasp.

When Sanji's head whips around, he looks appropriately shocked and terrorized.  Nami has a hand slapped over her mouth, her face red and her knuckles white where she's still holding the doorknob.

"Get out!" Zoro shouts.

"D--" Sanjis starts, but he doesn't even get the word out before Nami shouts, "Right!" spins on her heel, and slams the door behind her.

They stare at it in silence.

Neither of them breath.

From the other side of the door, Nami shouts, "Congratulations!" and then there's the sound of her running up the stairs.

Sanji's not moving at all.  Zoro thinks he might have died until he released his breath in a horrified, "Fuuuuuuck."

"Fuck," Zoro agrees.  He knew this was a bad idea.

"At least we won a million berries," he says, but then Sanji shifts his weight to cram a knee into his side.