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incorrectbatfam · 1 year

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Hello! While scrolling between random hurt/comfort fica I stumbled into a batfamily one and decided to give it a shot and now I am curious about this fandom! Never read any dc/marvel comic and watched maybe a couple of superhero movies so I have basically 0 knowledge about batman except that Robin is his apprentice but also apparently there's multiple Robins??

Can I have a general fandom/family introduction? I'm very confused but also really curious since I'm an avid found family enjoyer :)

What the heck is this fandom?

If you're reading this, you probably either a) want to get into comics but aren’t sure where to start or b) found yourself plopped in the middle and don't know what's going on.

DC Comics encompasses a wide range of characters and storylines with varying levels of popularity, and is home to some of the most iconic figures like Superman and Wonder Woman. What often happens in the DC and Marvel fandoms is that rather than trying to engage with everything, many fans will have a certain subset of content that they focus on. Sometimes it's a single character, sometimes it's a team like the Justice League, or sometimes it's a superhero family unit such as the Flash Family.

This blog primarily focuses on the batfamily, which is the group of characters that operate as Gotham City vigilantes centered around Batman. Some are legally/biologically related, some aren't. Generally speaking, the batfamily fandom is one of the larger subgroups within the DC fandom because so many of the comics revolve around these characters.

Who is Batman?

Are you living under a rock

Batman, AKA Bruce Wayne, begins with the infamous tragic origin where his parents were shot dead in an alleyway when he was 8, leaving him an orphan to be raised by his butler/surrogate father figure, Alfred Pennyworth. Once Bruce got a little older, he donned the costume to deal with criminals directly and bring justice to the city.

His civilian identity is Bruce Wayne, the (and I say this begrudgingly) billionaire CEO of his family's company, Wayne Enterprises. The company makes a little of everything and keeps Gotham afloat with job creation and philanthropy. Nothing unethical about one rich guy running an entire city.

His alter ego is Batman, and he uses his wit and extensive training to fight an array of both petty criminals as well as big-name villains like the Joker, the Riddler, Two-Face and more (collectively known as the Gotham Rogues gallery).

NOTE: some former villains, like Harley Quinn, have been rebranded as anti-heroes.

Batman operates out of a hidden cave (yes, a literal cave) under Wayne Manor known as the Batcave. This is where he keeps all sorts of high-tech paraphanalia, including his Batmobile, bat-plane, batarangs (bat boomerangs), and a powerful computer known as—you guessed it—the Batcomputer.

Batman's primary love interest is a former villain known as Catwoman, AKA Selina Kyle, who is a master thief. (Her backstory includes growing up with an abusive father and turning to stealing for survival.) She's since reformed and has been indicted into the Justice League. They're really cute if you don't think about how they're technically two furries who roleplay as cops and robbers.

NOTE: in an alternate timeline, Bruce dies as a child in that alley as Thomas Wayne becomes Batman while Martha Wayne becomes the Joker.

Okay, what about... Robin? Robins?

There's a lot to unpack here.

The OG Robin is Dick Grayson. Yes, we still call him Dick in the year 2022. He was a child acrobat who was part of a trio, The Flying Graysons, with his parents, John and Mary, in a traveling circus called Haly's Circus. Haly's stopped in Gotham, where a crime boss named Tony Zucco tried to get them to pay protection money. When Haly refused, Zucco sabotaged the trapezes and Dick's parents fell to their deaths. Bruce was at that show and because Orphans Unite or whatnot, he takes little Dick under his wing as a ward (not legally adopted at this point, Bruce is in his early to mid 20s). Dick joins Batman's crusade as the colorful pantsless sidekick known as Robin. As Robin, he also became the leader of what would eventually be a multigenerational superhero team known as the Teen Titans.

The second Robin is Jason Todd. He grew up in Gotham's notorious Crime Alley, where his mother, Catherine, was a substance user and his father, Willis, was an overall piece of garbage. After his father goes to jail and his mother dies of an overdose, Jason is essentially an orphan left to fend for himself on the streets. His run-in with Batman happens when he tries to steal to Batmobile tires to sell, and instead of getting punished, he gets adopted. Legally, this time. So while Dick is the oldest, Jason is Bruce's first kid. Jason takes on the Robin mantle and fights crime, yada yada. What he's well-known for is his death, where he set out to Ethiopia to find his biological mother, Sheila Haywood, and is killed by the Joker. Then Superman breaks reality and Jason comes back to life, spends some time with the League of Assassins, and gets rebranded as a crime lord/anti-hero with a hell of a grudge against Bruce for not avenging him.

While Jason was dead, we get our third Robin and the first one with pants: Tim Drake. Tim is actually Bruce's neighbor (the way rich people can be neighbors with spaced-out properties). He grew up with wealthy but neglectful parents, Janet and Jack Drake, who often left Tim home alone as a small child while they went on their archeology expeditions. Tim takes an interest in the Gotham vigilantes and sets out to follow them around and gather evidence to figure out who they are. Eventually, he deduces Bruce, Dick, and Jason's identities by some moves unique to the Flying Graysons. Then, Tim basically blackmails Bruce into letting him be Robin and has his own teenage superhero team called Young Justice. After the Robin title is taken away from him, he becomes Red Robin (yes, like the restaurant chain) and while everyone thinks Batman is dead during this time, Tim is the only one who believes otherwise. Also, his mom drinks poison, dad is killed by a boomerang, best friend is killed by an evil clone, other best friend is also killed by an evil clone, girlfriend dies (see below), assassins steal his spleen, and now he's bisexual and dating a boy who creates conspiracy theories.

NOTE: In an alternate timeline, Carrie Kelley becomes the third Robin.

Robin #4 is Stephanie Brown. She actually didn't become Robin until well into her vigilante career. She actually made a name for herself as Spoiler with the purpose of taking down her father, a D-list Gotham villain known as Cluemaster. Similar to everyone in this franchise, her childhood wasn't ideal as her father was always up to criminal activities and her mother worked a lot as well as (in some versions) used drugs. She later becomes the fifth Batgirl and then Robin before her death in the 2005 War Games comics, where she is killed when she seeks out a villain against Batman's orders. She then returns from the dead and goes back to being Spoiler. She also dated Tim and was a fairly long-running relationship before they broke up. She also had a teen pregnancy at one point (not by Tim) and had a daughter that she put up for adoption.

Robin #5 is Damian Wayne, the biological son of Bruce Wayne and Talia Al Ghul (daughter to Ra's Al Ghul, leader of a villainous organization known as the League of Assassins). Damian was raised in the League of Assassins for the first half of his childhood, where he was trained to be the heir to Ra's Al Ghul's empire. Talia brought him to Bruce when he was ~10 to refine his skills with Batman. However, that kind of goes awry when Bruce fakes his death and Damian is raised by Dick instead. Damian also becomes a Teen Titans leader as well as forms a friendship with Jon Kent, son of Superman (please read Super Sons, it's adorable). Damian is then killed by his oversized evil clone and is brought back to life on the planet Apokolips (no one stays dead istg).

Duke Thomas's relationship with the Robin mantle is a little more complicated. Duke first shows up as a really intelligent kid who solves one of the Riddler's puzzles. Later on, he becomes the leader (aided by Alfred Pennyworth) of a group of teenage vigilantes known as We Are Robin, who helped take care of Gotham crime while Batman was missing. His parents were, for a lack of a better term, disabled after one of the Joker's gas attacks (seriously, someone euthanize this clown). Bruce takes Duke under his wing and Duke rebrands himself as the Signal. He's unique from other Gotham heroes in a couple aspects: 1) he fights crime in the daytime instead of night and 2) he has photokinetic superpowers. (He's also dating one of the We Are Robins members, Izzy Ortiz.)

What about the others, like Batwoman and Batgirl?

Similar to Robin, Batgirl is a title held by multiple people. The first Batgirl was Bette Kane (who is now Flamebird), but the most well-known one was the second one, Barbara Gordon. Barbara (Babs for short) is the daughter of Gotham police commissioner Jim Gordon. Inspired by other Gotham heroes, she became Batgirl behind her parents' back and worked in tandem with Bruce and Dick, forming a relationship with Dick along the way. She became a quadriplegic after getting shot by the Joker but refused to step down from the field, instead using her intelligence and technological capabilities to surveil and provide intel under a new moniker, Oracle. She also has her own team, the Birds of Prey, which includes people like Huntress and Black Canary.

After Barbara, the next Batgirl is Cassandra Cain (who is also Bruce's only legal daughter in the main continuity). She is the daughter of David Cain and an assassin known as Lady Shiva. Cass was raised by David within the League of Assassins and trained to be a fighting machine, similar to Damian. She was raised in isolation without speech or literacy, but can read body language really well. Her first kill was when she was 8, and that traumatized her so much that she ran away, wandering around until eventually reaching Gotham and becoming both Bruce and Barbara's ward. She holds other titles like Black Bat along the way but is most known as Orphan. She also befriends Stephanie, had a short relationship with Superboy (Conner Kent) and, like half the people here, dies and comes back. Depending on who you talk to, some people keep her lack of speech, some have her speaking, and some prefer an in-between.

Stephanie was Batgirl after Cass. See above.

Kate Kane is Batwoman and Bruce Wayne's cousin. She grew up similarly wealthy in a high-level military family, often moving around as a child. Her twin sister and mother were killed in a terrorist attack in Belgium, leaving her father to raise her. She got into West Point military academy but was expelled in her final year after coming out as lesbian under the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy. After that, she spent a year on an island civilization before returning to Gotham. After Batman saved her from a mugging, Kate bought some equipment on the black market and trained herself to become Batwoman. Also, we as a fandom don't talk about her flamethrower gloves enough.

NOTE: in an alternate timeline, Carrie Kelley was also Batgirl and Batwoman.

Harper Row is Bluebird, and similar to Batwoman, she is a mostly independent Gotham hero who was inspired by Batman. Growing up, Harper often had to take care of things like household repairs and look after her younger brother, Cullen, because their father was abusive and didn't do anything for them. Eventually, she sought emancipation and got them out of there, but things still weren't easy. She went to college, but had to drop out and get a job in order to provide for her and her brother. She became Bluebird after Batman saved her and Cullen, engineering her own weapons like a giant taser. Fun fact: she's bi and her brother is gay.

This is still really confusing. Who's who right now?

Canon sucks so here's what the fandom largely know them as:

Bruce is Batman. He might have some suit modifications or occasionally pilot a giant bat robot, but he's Batman

Dick is Nightwing. He took over as Batman for a short period of time, but after Bruce returned, he went back to being Nightwing we don't talk about Ric

Jason is Red Hood. That was actually the Joker's previous title but now Jason holds it

Tim is... usually Robin or Red Robin, it kinda depends on context. Canonically he's back to being Robin now, but a lot of us still refer to him as Red Robin

Damian is Robin. He had the alias Redbird at one point but everyone calls him Robin

Duke is the Signal. Again, there were some alias changes (like Lark) but he's the Signal around here

Stephanie is Spoiler, but again, it depends on context

Cassandra is usually referred to as Orphan, but you'll occasionally see Batgirl or Black Bat depending on who you talk to

Barbara was rehashed as Batgirl in recent canon but we all hate the disability erasure so you'll see a lot of us still call her Oracle

Harper is Bluebird. I don't recall her having any other titles. Her brother isn't a vigilante

Selina (yes, she's part of the batfamily) is Catwoman

Alfred is... Alfred. On the field he goes by Agent A and his previous spy career often comes in handy

This isn't the sum of it. There are a whole bunch of other bat characters (Bette Kane, Luke Fox, Jean-Paul Valley, Helena Bertinelli, Terry McGinnis, etc.) that I didn't get into here partly because I don't focus on them as much and partly because of space. I also didn't get into all the lore for characters I did explain, like Dick's police career or other teams/relationships. There are also some inconsistencies between different timelines and reboots.

I encourage you to explore beyond what I presented with other heroes and villains since I know Batman isn't for everyone. I also encourage you to explore the comics, talk to people, and figure out for yourself what characters or storylines best fit you. Don't be afraid to take your time, either. We've been here nearly a century. We're not going anywhere.

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bloogers-boogers · 2 months

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Forbidden Power AU. This AU focuses on Michael, it's the end of all Creation, all thanks to Lucifer's Spawn. Michael's final attempt to fix everything is to Disturb their father Only To Discover that his father is dead and has been dead for what looks like years there is still hope his father may be dead but his Authority can still be used... All angels authorities are held in Halos and God is no exception... Michael has a halo So he can go back and fix everything... The issue is the darkness in his heart, his Desire for the First man... Originally he was going to leave Almost everything unchanged...but this is an Opportunity he never did get or never should have had...can he stay on the noble path...ya No Michael has bin the good boy all his Existence and he will continue to be the good boy But he will be so when it comes to Adam and make Adam Exactly how he wants him to be

Hopefully this ask is for me and not mistaken for another blog shsiwbdjiwe do not get me wrong I love the guitarhero ship but I haven't posted anything about them aside from the drawing I made for @/ironbatpaperturtle (and my adamsapple fic) so I have a feeling that maybe this ask wasn't for me 😭

I should tho... like write more of them cause ngl I really like them together but my whole view on those two is far different than @/ironbatpaperturtle's Michael and Adam ahdjendiw

BUT if this anon is for me then I appreciate you for sharing me your au whdjwkdjdwoek 💖 now, with all that said let me proceed on actually answering you.

Omygod. Okay first, I think the God being dead for the longest period is such an interesting concept I read something similar like this before in a fic (adamsapple) called 'the devil you know /by anglotron' so I like it, kinda explains why angels would be put in so much work (do drastic choices) if God isn't there to guide them and solve things for them or just get involved but I also love the concept of him not giving a f*ck shjsiahdwiwbs after Lucifer's fall/betrayal he was just left hopeless for anything; his most "perfect creation" (Adam) corrupted by evil and then his most "perfect angel" turned out to have been the one to bring said corruption. (he may still care for Michael and Jesus tho but like it's hard for him to care about the rest) and letting all his children figure it out themselves (poor Sera), like, I can picture him just as depressed like Lucifer in the show issisofksos but unlike him who copes with making ducks, God just lays in the couch mopping about how disappointed in humanity he is and how "perfect" everything was before he planted the damn apple on earth, while he bosses Michael and maybe Metatron too (tho with him he's a lot more harsher bc he was previously human and he's kinda just bitter about them in general, but he's proven his worth enough) around to bring him shit like ice cream or junk food (tho he could easily just summoned all those things he subconsciously just wants company and Michael is there to bring it to him the only angel that has not yet disappointed/maintain loyal to him). So yeah.

Anyways — I still like the concept of God actually being dead. Like when you say Michael has a halo do you meant like he holds on to God's halo? Cause that's kinda cool af, imagine him just holding on to the halo of God (maybe even pitifully hopeful their father would return 'saving it for him') so he just has the halo on him and everyone just "oh shit this motherfucker really could just end it all if he wanted to" but Michael just doesn't cause 'with great power holds big responsibility' type of mentality and I think it'd be funny if Lucifer confronts heaven and is in a determined search for Michael to provoke him and remind him he's still the most perfect of all God's creation (mosty just salty as hell bc Michael cast him to hell lmao) and then when he finds Michael he like comes up with a taunting comment about how bad heaven turned out to be Yada Yada that neither realm is perfect or better than the other, and BAM suddenly his eyes drifted to Michael's head and recognizes the halo.

"Is that—...!"

"Yeah," Michael simply states defeated in his chair, unfazed by his brother arrival, from all the chaos going on, his people being murder, just, done, "father's gone, Lucifer."

So they just stare at eochother in silence, Lucifer with a stunned almost hurt expression and Michael with a nonchalant one. After the realization hitting him like a truck Lucifer realizes there was no end to the chaos released to all realms after Charlie unintentionally brought it to them if God wasn't there to fix it all...

Fear overwhelming him now cause he was kinda chilled out about the whole thing knowingly God would have to intervene soon because heaven was also being attacked by evil- but now realizing he's dead, it like hits him hard, mostly worried for his daughter's fate more than anything else.

Then, another thing hits him, "wait! What aren't you doing anything?! You can fix this, Michael! You have father's power, we can-"

Michael lifts his hand to signal him to stop, "I'm not planning to do anything."

"WHAT?!! Do you realize your people are also being attacked!"

"Your daughter brought this among ourselves, now, she must find her way to solve it."

"But she won't be-"

"Silence. If she was able to bring it to us then she's more than capable of putting it back. If not, that's no longer my problem"

"YOU-!"

"No, Lucifer," he stands up, the power of God emitting through his aura, the millions of eyes on him, big six graceful wings extended to show their full on glory, eyes bright like the intensity of a star. His voice was much more deeper and cold, distant, detached, "I lost everything because of your silly dream of free will, and now redemption. Look at where it lead us, prove me wrong this time, if it doesn't succeed then it was meant to be that way. Accept your fate.

I would create something new, something different. Something that won't betray its kind. No longer you existing. It will be perfect."

Lucifer felt so tiny now. That was no longer the brother he once knew. Not the caring, gentle, protective fiercely warrior that he once was.

Only filled with rage, grief and pain.

Michael... is dead too.

But anyways with all that, somehow lets say both Charlie and Lucifer mange to remind Michael of his love for the countless souls left at his hands to care and protect. And I dunno maybe a song too ahdhdiqgsjahsia and what gets the cake is Michael seeing Adam alive, behind the two, who somewhat stumble across their intervention in a 'bad timing'.

"Hey bitch you forgot your tampon— oh shit! Wrong room," Adam (now sinner) appears at the door oblivious of the whole deal.

"Adam!" Charlie shouted annoyed as they were already, almost, having a heartfelt moment between her father and Michael.

Michael eyes watered, "ADAM!" He pushes past Charlie and Lucifer who are now just confused as fuck seeing how Michael (filled with new growing hope) crushes Adam in a big hug with all the intensity of his power and somehow it was till so gentle and careful that it didn't kill Adam.

And the first man just there struggling to get loose while also suffocating.

Idk I just like Michael still having to be the hero even in circumstances where he doesn't want to. So the universe just grants him a purpose for he to keep following up God's title for him. If he wasn't gonna do shit because he lost Adam? Then BAM! Sinner Adam is now a thing so keep your ass moving Michael!

Michael now wants to fix things up to keep Adam safe; his new purpose (reason) on protecting heaven, his people and the countless souls God left him in charge with.

#asks♡#guitarhero #michael x adam #sorry for the long ask my god

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saiidahyunie · 6 months

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keep your eyes and lend me your ears

yoo jeongyeon x reader ; fluff

synopsis: love comes in many ways for a couple, even if that's a simple trip to the beach with jeongyeon.

wc: 4.4k

warnings: not proofread ; jeongyeon has a hearing disability

a/n: currently sick atm but i was able to pump this out for you guys to enjoy :) this also means i have works for all 9 members on my blog!

also i don't know how people with hearing impairments are so i don't want to offend anyone but pls let me know if i do

(the bold text is what said in sign language btw)

—

even though you had told jeongyeon over a thousand times that you were okay with going to the beach in the brisk cold of fall and you had been doing these small trips for like forever, she still had her doubts.

standing by the door, coby’s leash in her hand as she adjusted her hat in the mirror. you shut the door to your bedroom and leaned against the wall in the hallway, admiring the cute scene happening in front of you.

no matter where you and jeongyeon were going, she always managed to look beyond stunning, the way her outfits always matched the seasons, she also put in the effort to match at least one article of clothing with coby. this time, the hat she wore this time was in a light caramel color, just like the fur on coby.

it has been five years since you and jeongyeon started dating and ever since then, each passing day has always been the best. you and jeongyeon met at a party hosted by one of your friends in the summer, celebrating her graduation from her master’s program. from one corner of the room, you spotted her with a smile across her face and from that second you set eyes on her, you couldn’t stop staring.

—

“momo! who’s that girl standing there next to the dj?” you nudged the host of the party, one of your closest friends since middle school. momo swiveled her head around, raising a perked eyebrow at you.

“there’s at least 20 people crowding the dj right now y/n, you gotta help me out here.”

you closed your eyes in annoyance and pointed to the slightly taller girl with dark brown hair who was wrapped up in a conversation with one of momo’s coworkers.

“the girl with the brown hair?” momo squinted to see who you were pointing at despite having 20/20 vision. you shook your head again, knowing that she was messing with you.

“no the guy with the black cap. yes! the girl with the dark brown hair. what’s her name? you ask, draping your arm around momo’s shoulder and leaning against her, eyes still fixated on the beautiful brunette.

“oh why didn’t you say anything?” momo laugs as she brushes your arm off, slapping your arm playfully. “that’s yoo jeongyeon. she’s one of the new assistant professors in the marine biology department.”

you nodded with your mouth open, impressed by her occupation at momo’s university and her striking side profile. momo dashed her eyes at you, spinning around to face you with a pouty look on her face.

“why do you want to know? you like her don’t ya?” you tried to hide the glaringly obvious, but the blush petering through your face and up to your cheeks sold the whole act. “oh you totally have something going on for her! what’s with you huh?! you haven’t even talked to her and you’re red as a pepper. i can introduce you two if you want.”

before you could go against momo’s plan of action, she was already calling jeongyeon over, waving her hands to draw more attention to herself and you, the red pepper. the attempts to stop momo as she frantically waves her arms up in the air, not wanting to attract more people’s attention in the party and your growing embarrassment.

jeongyeon notices momo and excused herself from the conversation, weaving her way through the small sea of groups surrounding the kitchen. she slowly made her way toward the two of you and you felt your heart racing instantaneously. in a matter of a few moments, you were a few feet away from one of the most drop dead beautiful people you had laid your eyes on in your life.

“hey momoring! what’s up?” just from speaking four words, you could immediately tell that jeongyeon was one of the brightest people in the world. her smile never faded even through her brief and funny exchange with momo. you hadn’t bothered introducing yourself to her yet, content with the interaction that was happening in front of you and even if you did try to say something, it wouldn’t be ineligible to understand at all.

“oh by the way this is y/n! she hasn’t met you yet and spotted you when you were talking to sunoo. i thought that the two of you could get along well.” momo stepped to your right side, elbowing you after three seconds of silence.

“i-i’m y/n!” you smiled as you internally broke down. momo only said your name and that was all that you could say to jeongyeon? real smooth of you.

jeongyeon lightly laughed as she put her hand out for you, shaking it as she brushed some of her hair behind her ear, revealing a bright pink hearing aid. this caught your attention as you flashed a glance at it. “it’s nice to meet you. momo told me a little bit about you so it’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”

you groaned out slightly as you rolled your eyes. you look to the side only to see that momo had disappeared from your line of sight, giving a thumbs up to you before momo turned back around to continue her conversation with one of your friends.

“well i hope it was good things, but knowing momo i’m pretty she’s told you everything about me. good and bad.”

—

fall and winter were two of your favorite seasons in the year and even though you had a slight distaste for the cold. the favoritism of these colder months may or may not have happened if it weren’t for jeongyeon wearing the cutest and coziest outfits, but you didn’t bother wondering anyway.

arriving at the beach, you parked your car in the empty lot. since it was fall, the beach wasn’t the ideal place to be. you didn't mind however in fact, you kind of enjoyed it. sure going into the water would increase the odds of getting sick, but it was just you and jeongyeon with the whole beach to yourselves and so many options for parking areas.

you got out of the car and opened the trunk, fishing coby’s leash, your german shepherd, before he jumped out and sprinted towards the water. that was the only problem bringing him to the beach during the cold months. jeongyeon said that coby was half fish and half dog with the way he loved being around water.

the slight breeze reeling in along with the warm radiance of the sun made it feel even colder than it actually was but as long as you had jeongyeon and coby with you, the conseration was easy to do between you and her. even after first meeting at the party, it was so easy to talk about everything with her.

—

for your third date, you and jeongyeon decided on doing a mini golf course that was disney themed. after the first two dates prior, it made sense why she chose this to be the third date. she was the embodiment of fun times mixed with competitiveness. ambitious and driven were the best two words to describe her.

“i’ve hit the freaking dwarves mine cart four times already! it’s almost like they don’t want you to make this hole!” you exclaimed as you threw your hand that wasn’t holding the golf club in the air, waving it in frustration at how bad you were at mini golf.

jeongyeon on the other hand was laughing at your antic. unlike you, she was playing a near perfect game, almost 17-18 holes made and she even managed to get a hole in one 6 times. “maybe your form’s wonky.”

“oh you think? maybe you should teach me miss mini golf pro.” you chuckled as you held out your hand, motioning toward the course for her to demonstrate the right way of playing for you. what you were expecting was for her to use her own club and ball for the lesson, but instead she went up behind you using your club and ball, feeling your heart speed up and hands get increasingly moist than they already were.

“what i want you to do is just bend your elbows and back a little, let your knees drop, and just lightly tap the ball. we’re not in the driving range y/n so don’t try to chuck the ball a hundred miles an hour.” jeongyeon giggled as she swung your club with you, her hands holding onto yours. even though she could see a little bit over you, you made it into the hole, passing the stupid mine cart.

“7 tries! what now!?” you smiled victoriously as jeongyeon shook her head with a soft smile as she gave you a high five. she set her ball down at the final hole and brushed her hair behind her ear again. this time you were perplexed when you eyed the light blue hearing aid compared to the pink hearing aid you saw a few instances before. your gaze lingered a little long and saw that jeongyeon got another hole in one.

“how’d you do that?” you ask, setting your ball down as jeongyeon pumps her fist in the air, doing a small celebratory dance. you lined up the ball and swung without a second thought. took three strokes, but better than the high numbers you’ve been putting up all game.

once the game was finished, you offered to buy her some ice cream. while you were ordering, jeongyeon decided to go with butter pecan while you stuck with a simple rocky road.

it was another easy conversation with her, talking about your respective jobs, brushing her ear again noticing the light blue hearing aid again. jeongyeon notices you staring again and you put your hand up to apologize. “sorry, i noticed you had hearing aids when we first met, but i didn’t want to come off as rude about them so i didn’t say anything. i’m sorry again.” you looked down with guilt as your ice cream slowly melted toward one side.

jeongyeon let out a small laugh and smiled at your rambling apology, shaking her head as she took one of her hearing aids out, holding on the flat palm of her hand to show you. “it’s okay. thank you, actually. usually it’s the first thing that people notice about me, so i’m actually surprised that you waited this long to ask me about it.” jeongyeon moves her hand closer to you on the table, encouraging you to have a better look.

“i’ve used hearing aids for pretty much my entire life. i was swimming with my family one vacation and i got water in my ears. they started hurting not long after so when we got it checked we found out to be a double ear infection. it was preventable but it was already too late so most of my hearing was already gone.”

jeongyeon still flashed a small smile on her face as she told her story. it broke your heart to hear, but the way that she kept her gaze on you and the strength in her voice said more than enough of her accepting it.

you didn’t even notice the sympathetic look that was on your face as you handed jeongyeon her hearing aid back, putting it back in her ear as she grabbed your hand that was now soaked in ice cream.

“y/n it’s okay. i’ve been fine about this for a very long time. it was hard at first but the fact that i’ve been able to deal with it this long shouldn’t worry you.”

you nodded, understandingly as you let your fingers intertwine with hers. it felt natural at this point even though you hadn’t known sana for that long as she continued to answer your questions with that peaked smile across her face, making you fall for her more and more.

“so why marine biology? if you don’t mind me asking of course.”

“it did suck when i couldn’t be near a body of water that wasn’t the shower or bathtub, but i just couldn’t stay away. i always loved being near the sea on the beach. i didn’t want my accident to be the only reason holding me back from something that i loved.”

as more questions were being answered, you had more ice cream on your hand that you actually had eaten. invested by everything that jeongyeon was telling you about, you could care less about the melting dessert.

—

the jacket you were wearing before leaving your apartment had already been discarded on the sand as you chased coby around on the beach. if there was one thing that he loved more than the water, it was his tennis ball. you had about seven balls lying around the apartment and coby loved every single one of them. this ball in particular was meant for the beach, soaked with sand and salt water.

in your gassed state, you crawled your way to jeongyeon, exhausted. you had been chasing coby playing fetch for a little over forty-five minutes and all you wanted to do was stop running around to get your jacket that was on the sand. clipping coby’s leash back onto his collar before plopping over on the towel beside your girlfriend, coby obviously tired as he continued to chew on the ball while laying on the sand.

“not as youthful as you were five years ago huh?” jeongyeon teased as she poked your cheek.

“i’ve never been better even before that.” you smiled as you kissed her cheek, resting your head on her shoulder. although it was a lie since you were heaving like you were in a track race just now, jeongyeon was okay with playing along.

you check your watch to see that it was already 7:56 by the time you adjusted your spot. you took in the view of the waves slowly creeping their way to the shore for last twenty minutes or so. times like these that made you feel extra thankful that you have someone like jeongyeon in your life.

“i think coby wants to have another go.” she says as she took her coat off, already preparing to get sweaty. she bent over to give you a quick peck before taking one of her hearing aids out. “is it okay if i leave these with you for a bit?”

you simply smiled at her and took her hand, pulling her a little closer to you. crouching down as you place your hands on her cheeks, thumb grazing her face as she lightly blushes at you.

“of course baby. i love you. i’ll be here if you need anything, so don’t worry.”

you signed this as best as you could as jeongyeon leaned in, placing another soft kiss on your lips, smiling at the taste of strawberry flavored chapstick she put on before pulling back.

she loved the effort that you put in to sign with her as she handed her hearing aids before unclipping coby’s leash, grabbing the soggy ball from him and throwing it down the beach, running just in front of him to get the ball first.

you watched jeongyeon and coby for a while, the two loves of your life running up and down the beach. jeongyeon’s laugh was like a heavenly chorus and seeing her smile made you do the same. looking down at her hearing aids, noticing that she went with the light blue ones for today. you scrunch your face at the thought of the first time that she took them out around you. something that she trusted you fully now, but it wasn’t always like this back then.

—

it was late and you were tired, laying on the couch just on your phone, scrolling through tiktok to keep yourself busy until you could go over to jeongyeon’s place.

“another hour until she gets out of work huh.” you sighed out and sat up on the couch, looking around to see if there was anything out of the ordinary for you to fix.

as you scanned the different decor in the living room, you noticed the odd stack of books on your chair adjacent to you, an indication of the amount of time you loved reading as a pastime. grabbing one of the books from the top of the pile and flipping through the pages to quickly skim through.

it was only three books that you looked at quickly and you heard the phone ring on the table. tossing the book back onto the chair as you answered the phone, a dumb smile on your face.

“hi babe! you got out early?”

“c-can you come over now?” jeongyeon answered with a stricken voice. she had been crying obviously and you knew that something was wrong. without a second thought, you grabbed your jacket and keys, flashing by the door and walking to the car.

“okay okay, give me a few minutes. i’m on my way. stay on the phone with me until i get to you.” you said to your girlfriend as you got in the car. the worry was already there as it is, even if there were few words said between you and her, it was a bit reassuring to hear your voice over the phone.

it was a tried and true routine when you got to jeongyeons house. running up the stairs and didn’t even think of knocking the door. you just hung up the phone as you pushed the door open, eyes locking onto jeongyeon as she was huddled up on the ground, knees to her chest and head facing down.

“oh no.” you say, feeling your heart shatter at the image your eyes were receiving as you rushed to her side, wrapping your arms around her, gently pulling her onto the couch with you. her face was on the little opening of your neck as she cried a little more, stroking her hair and rubbing her shoulder to calm her down a bit.

it didn’t happen that jeongyeon was in the state crying but when she was, it just hurt a tad bit more. jeongyeon didn’t want to be that person to let her emotions leak through but seeing her sad and hopeless rather than smiling with a quick remark on her sleeve, it was still difficult to process. took quite a bit for her to calm down but she finally managed to slow her breathing as she looked up at you with teary eyes, red from the amount of crying she just did.

“what happened baby?” you asked as you wiped the tears that were stained on jeongyeon’s cheeks, kissing her a few times as she rummaged up her words.

“i-i was walking back to the car after i got off and a group of people was running behind me. i didn’t see them and i got tripped by one of them. they a-apologized but one of my hearing aids got knocked out from my ear and when i put it back it was all m-messed up and it hurt my e-ears. i was just overwhelmed and driving home a-and-”

you interrupt jeongyeon as you pull her closer, kissing her forehead, rubbing the back of her head to comfort her. this was a lot for her and you didn’t want her to bear herself too much.

“it’s okay, don’t say anymore. can i see the hearing aid that got knocked out from you?” you looked as she shook her head, trying to reach to her ear before she immediately doubled back tucking her face back into your chest. it was startling for her to act like this but you hugged her again, apologizing.

come to think of it, you had never seen jeongyeon without her hearing aids. even when sleeping and you stayed over, they stayed on.

“hey hey it’s okay. i don’t want to hurt you, i just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” you said, reaching out again but this caused jeongyeon to bury herself deeper into you, feeling her shake in your arms uncontrollably.

a hour passed and jeongyeon finally calmed herself down. you and her made your way to the kitchen sharing a cup of tea. she still looked a little out of it but it was better than how she was on the couch when you came in.

jeongyeon kept her eyes on the cup and exhaled shakily. looking up from your phone, flipping it over and pushing it to the side, placing your hand with hers on the cup.

“everything okay? you seemed really scared when i tried to take your hearing aids out.”

jeongyeon nodded slowly as she looked into your eyes. a blank expression she had that you didn’t enjoy seeing, but something you were willing to handle as she squeezed your hand, brushing her fingertips over your knuckles.

“back in high school, i had a similar pair of blue hearing aids. i was happy with the color but there was some girls in my class that thought otherwise. i was reading one day and one of them took it out of my ears before throwing it on the ground. that pair broke and i spent the rest of that day not being able to hear. i cried when i got home and all my parents could do was just give me an old pair until we were able to buy brand new ones.”

you sensed the anger boiling in your stomach. amazed at the fact that there were people who found it funny to do something like that.

“the next day with the old hearing aids, the same thing happened again. my new ones hadn’t come in yet so i had to spend the rest of that week sitting in the front of the class. i was able to sign normally but i couldn’t hear anything. it felt like everyone was watching me and laughing because i wasn’t able to hear. ever since then i’ve been the only one who takes my hearing aids out and i try to keep them on whenever i’m around people. i know that you’d never be the kind of person to say anything mean or hurt me but…that feeling just stayed with me.”

you sighed out as you walked over to jeongyeon’s side and wrapped her in a hug. you were glad that she was comfortable to the point where she could tell you things like this. it showed that she trusted you and that’s all that mattered. you pulled away form the hug and slowly put your hand out, brushing her hair behind her ear.

jeongyeon’s breath hitched at the contact of your hand to her ear, eyes on your hand as you stopped yourself for a second.

“i don’t have to do this, but if you want me to, i can take these out. i know the broken one is making you uncomfortable here so i just want to help. you know that i would never hurt you.

you stared into jeongyeon eyes, trying to convey that she could trust you with something that’s important than this. she pondered for a few seconds in silence before slowly nodding her head, closing her eyes as she gently grabbed your hands, guiding them to her ears. your hands were shaking for a few seconds as you tried to ignore the pounding of your heart within you.

without messing anything up, you took the hearing aids out with ease, letting a soft sound of your breath out your mouth as you set them on the counter. jeongyeon opened her eyes again, now unable to hear as she gave you a small smile, tears welling up again from the corners of her eyes. she let out a long breath, one that sounded like she’s been holding back for years and kissed your cheek.

she breaks the hug after a few seconds before signing ‘i love you’ as you pull her closer to you once again, deepening the love and trust you had for each other even more now.

—

“it’s getting late, no?” you signed to jeongyeon as she came back to you after running for twenty minutes with coby.

“i know but five more minutes please?”

you smiled at her plea as you checked the time to see that it was almost 9:30. the beach would close at ten so you found it to be okay to stay just a little longer as you slid your phone back in your pocket, grabbing the hearing aids set next to you, putting them in your hand and offering it to jeongyeon.

“do you want these back? you don’t have to though i’ll just keep holding onto them.”

jeongyeon thinks for a second before shaking her head at your offer, curling your hand up in a loose fist, protecting her hearing aids until she decides when to put them back on. you didn’t understand how she truly felt, but you did know why she wanted to not have them on from time to time. it was nice to not hear and just be present in the moment.

not long after, jeongyeon brings coby back, simply nodding as that was her cue to start cleaning your little spot on the beach up to head back home. before you started cleaning up however, you handed the hearing aids back to jeongyeon as she put them back on. you didn’t want jeongyeon to do the work so she just kept coby occupied while she watched you put everything back seamlessly before heading back to the car.

coby hopped back into the backseat of the car as you catch jeongyeon taking a picture of the moon before looking through her photos of the sunset she also took earlier.

“that is a nice sunset picture.” you say over her shoulder as she turns around, wrapping her arms around your neck, inching her face closer to yours.

“thank you for coming with me y/n.” jeongyeon says to you as you tried not to let the giddiness come out on your face.

you leaned in for a kiss. the kind that you and her won’t stop sharing for many years to come. it carried so much intimacy almost like the end of a coming of age movie, it wasn’t corny but in that moment with her lips on yours, it just felt right.

another few gentle kisses were shared as you pull your head back from hers, eyes drinking in every single little detail that was on her face before signing with just one hand,

“i love you.”

#twice x reader #kpop x reader #twice fluff #twice imagines #twice jeongyeon #yoo jeongyeon #saiiidahyunee #jeongyeon imagines #jeongyeon x reader

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 6 months

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A Little Farewell

With about a week left to go we had our final OT4 weverse live today and it's safe to say, we were not prepared. But I'm very grateful that they did a live all together giving us a last dose of chaos, cuteness and giggles before we'll be left to fend for ourselves for 6 months before Jin returns to us in June 2024.

The live truly was a beautiful gift that kept on giving starting with Tae's new short haircut and JK hiding his now shaved head from us, Namjoon even claiming that JKs hair is shorter than his own (JK supposedly felt inspired to shave his head a little early after he met Usher, who has pretty short hair himself, and went for it), and Jimin practically getting offended by a comment saying they wanted to see him with a buzzcut. To be honest Tae's cute little haircut looks a little like he did it himself in the dead of the night but it also makes him look like we traveled back in time to 2013 or earlier. Adorable. After so long it was really nice to see them together again, and to generally have more than one Tannie in a live together.

Since the first leaks about their military service appeared a few days ago we've seen vminies talk among themselves, and not to mention the near constant fighting that's been going on between the two xkook camps, but seeing vmin being so cute together in this live, it felt reassuring. Whatever questions or worries we might've had, they were washed away. In a way it makes sense that Tae and Jimin didn't go together, even if we all would've loved to see them go together and make use of the buddy system, but that isn't the choice they made for themselves and that's okay. It's easy to see what vmin are doing more than just fine and that's all that matters. Admin 2 really hoped we'd get a vmin handshake or hand holding, and we got two! I mean, look at all this cuteness:

And then also Tae going home in five minutes flat and doing a small solo live which was basically just him being adorable and talking to Jimin, who was immediately in the comments, before leaving again. Love when we get to third wheel them, wow, I truly will miss that a lot.

At one point in the live JK mentioned that he'd wanted to go to the special forces as well, implying that for some reason he couldn't, which makes me wonder why. Was it because of his tattoos? Either way, it's nice that he'll instead get to go with Jimin and supposedly they'll be in the training camp where Seokjin is one of the trainers so that's cute.

Speaking of Seokjin, after so long it was adorable how often Namjoon brought up Seokjin in this live. Just Jin hyung this and Jin hyung that, very cute. And they also mentioned Hobi a bunch, how he's gotten cooler and more manly, which comes as a great reminder to basically all of us that the cute boys we've known until now, well, they'll probably fade away and get replaced by more mature versions of our beloved members in the next months and they'll return to us as a different set of Tannies. And that's okay. They're grown up men so it makes sense that eventually some of that aegyo cuteness will fade away and personally I'm very curious to see how things will turn out and what they'll be like in 2025.

And I'm very curious to see if idiots will respect Namjoon's and Tae's pleas for people not to show up for their entrance ceremonies. Especially since Namjoon asked for it in three languages to make sure everyone understood it. Unfortunately I have my doubts, since we know the maknae line have some of the most unhinged solos but here's hoping.

Now, what does this mean for us now? Well, it'll be quite a while until we'll see the members slowly returning one after the other so we'd like to take this time for a 'official' hiatus as well. Admin 2 is considering a temporary "rebrand" into a BL blog since they've gotten into Thai BLs in the last year, so that's something that might happen. Would any of you be interested in something like that?

But we'll still be ARMY, still love vmin and namjin, and once the guys will return, so will we, so don't worry, we're not leaving BTS any time soon.

Lastly, here's a blurry screenshot of a coconut headed JK running across the screen screaming THIS WAS BTS. A beautifully chaotic ending to this solo era. Let's see what the next months will bring us and what 2025 will be like when chapter 2 will come to a close and a new chapter of BTS and ARMY will open, eventually.

Thank you so much for reading!

#bts #taehyung #jimin #vmin #namjoon #jungkook #namjin

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secret-subject · 9 months

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Do You Ever Just Forget How To Do Hypnosis?

Not even joking. This isn't some sort of shit-post I promise, but sometimes with ADHD brain going brrrr I will get into my hypnosis thing whether it be a script or a live scene and my brian will just go:

"hey are you sure you actually remember how to do hypnosis?"

So the question is, how do we combat this feeling? Because let's be honest it's one that is not rational nor required when you are tisting on the regular and like me have a busy work schedule of giving people the hypnosis feels. (As a quick side note, in a scene with a trusted partner it would be hot af to have your ability to "fight back" with hypnosis taken away, especially if you were both switches with sticky fingers and brains, but I'm going to pocket that for another time...)

Step one: Take a break! I'm not even kidding. I know when my battery is dead energy wise I am more prone to this kind of thinking. Maybe you are tired or overworked as a dominant/top (the person doing the hypnosis doesn't always have to be dominant). I know people who can literally do scene after scene after scene, and that has never been me. I literally went three years without hypnotizing anyone outside of making audios and livestreaming, including my wife, because I was chronically ill and just worn down. You can't be a super tist if you aren't taking care of yourself. So, take a break. Look after yourself. If you aren't doing that it could be a sign that burnout is coming, or approaching and you need to protect yourself. Never be afraid to say "that's enough". Many times I've hit my limit not only long term but mid scene as a Domme. It's okay and it's very normal and I wish we spoke about it more.

Step two: Try something new! Sometimes, I get stuck in a rut of doing the same thing over and over. I love repetition and conditioning using it is fun but wow, it can get boring for everyone. So this feeling could be a sign it's time to read some smut, listen to some audios, read the blogs and try something new. It might not work, but it might also be the best thing you've ever done. Recently I also have been sending tiny audios to friends based on whims or ideas I've been thinking of. This is a great way to test something new, low stakes, and play around. I also recommend having people you can talk to. I love to befriend other hypnosis creators and community members because not only are they just "built different" and fun to be around but also I can hear them talk about their passions, which reignites mine and we can pool ideas.

Set three: Read some resources! Education is so important in this scene. Now that doesn't mean do what I did and go to a certifcation course, I don't think people outside of people wanting to be a professional hypnotist should do this. But it is important to refresh your knowledge and not be afraid to learn. Now I am an ex-teacher so I am biased as hell about the importance of education, but, it's not hard to upgrade your skills with a little education. Mind Play is a great book, I always recommend it for being simple to read. Go to a class at a convention or locally (they have them online too so you can access them even in places far away like New Zealand). Join a hypnosis discord with discussion rooms or groups. Talk to others about their experiences. Watch a YouTube video on hypnosis. Listen to podcasts about it. These are all educational tools for upgrading your skills and even if like me you've been doing this for an eternity (or what feels like it) you can still refresh your skills and maybe you might learn something that helps get you out of that funk.

So these are just some of the things that help when my brain decides to gaslight me into thinking I am terrible at this. I know this is never going to be one side fits all but I think it's important to talk about imposter syndrome from all sides of the watch.

Have you ever felt like this? And if so what did you do about it? I'd love to keep this conversation going!

-Secret

#hypnok1nk #content creation #hypnosis community #secret subject #just musings I guess #some sort of hypnosis essay

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shatcey · 2 months

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The villains wanna tease little robin (Jude/Ellis)

Jude/Ellis (normal) Elbie/Alfie (normal) Vic/Will (normal)

All the boys are showing interest in Kate at this event. And their personality has played a huge role in how they express it. This is one of the events that allows you to get to know them better at the very beginning of the story. Sweet, funny and cute. No romance, just a hint of it. Unfortunately, this is not an event that you can save by reading both normal and premium ending. Sadly.

I found the first two chapters, the premium ending and the epilogue:

So I recommend reading this beforehand.

Kate cannot sleep. Yes, she remembers that only the staff can open the door, but it still doesn't give a sense of security. She decided to prepare for the second day of the "pretend to be the Queen" job. But when she opens the book, there is a strange sound outside her room.

And she notices some "maybe-not-so-dead-body" lying at the feet of Ellis and Jude.

It's okay, she couldn't fell asleep anyway…

So, all of them (including unconscious "body") entered Queen-Kate's room. The boys explain that this "body" is the secretary of the minister in question, who actually tried to break into her room with obviously bad intentions.

Kate immediately thought of a very suspicious minister with glasses… and received another compliment from Jude…

Oh, hon, you spoil me…

They explain that Ellis felt a sweet smell coming from the crown. And they realized that the culprit was the one who touched the crown last. But they needed proof, so they waited for his move.

Kate thinks they work very well together. And it doesn't look like a purely business relationship. So she asks:

You look like an old married couple who know each other so well that they can be in perfect sync and understand each other even without words… We've seen that… How long have they been together? Eight years? Something like that… That's a lot!

So they start to express their "wishes" to her…

Oh, how scary…

She tried to reason with them… and that made Jude remind her that if she suddenly backed out, it would be a breach of contract.

Oh, stop it, you're making me blush!

So they took the "body" and left her to sleep. They still have a lot of work to do. Of course, she couldn't sleep at all.

The next morning, the boys bring the culprits to Victor.

Ellis noted that Jude was more harsh with interrogations than usual

But Ellis himself admits that he was a little meaner than usual because he scared Kate. But he didn't cross the line of murder/death. I can't say exactly what he meant.

Of course, he didn't answer that question. Oh Jude, you really love this kid)))

So they found Kate, who decided to ask them what happened last night

Yeah… they don't want to worried her for no reason.

So… In this ending, wish fulfillment was not shown at all. But I really enjoyed the interaction between Jude and Ellis. It's always fun and breathes life… It gives a very vivid picture of who they are, and I can almost hear their voices in these dialogues.

This is the second time this event has been on the JP server. So when it came on EN I will have more than enough opportunities to fill in the gaps that I undoubtedly still have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🔝 Start page 🔝

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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my-mt-heart · 8 months

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NYCC 23 Thoughts

I know Caryl fans are more than ready to celebrate. I am too for what it's worth. Believe me, I'm so ready, but I also have concerns that some may not want or need to hear right now. And I get it. Fandom is supposed to provide a space for us to enjoy our favorite shows and characters without real life obstacles bleeding into it. My blog has really pushed those boundaries over the past year and half, so if that's not what you're looking for, feel free to scroll on by or block. If for some reason my rants are of any use to you, however, then here goes another one. Ahem.

Four middle-aged white men walk onto a stage...

…And proceed to make complete asses of themselves.

This is my biggest gripe with TWDU right now. It perpetuates the same tired, limited perspective of the upper class, middle-aged white man in not one, but all of the new spinoffs. TOWL is supposed to be about Rick and Michonne, but it's no secret Gimple favors Rick. Dead City is supposed to be about Negan and Maggie, but the showrunner only goes on and on and on about Negan/JDM in his interviews. S2 of le spinoff is supposed to be about Daryl and Carol, but...well, I'll get to that. My point is, representation offscreen matters because it affects what we see onscreen and which viewers will be drawn to watch. Personally, I didn’t feel drawn to anything during that panel, not because Melissa finally being announced isn’t exciting, but because the people speaking on her behalf always find ways to ruin the moment.

If Gimple wasn't going to talk about his show, I don't understand why he needed to be there. If it was a tradeoff, I would've rather seen Melissa up there and hear what she had to say about her own return and her own character in her own voice. If that still wasn't possible, I fully respect that, but there has to be some other way to deliver news besides constantly relying on male EPs who don't understand what her fans value about her. I worry this is how it's going to feel when I'm watching S2. I want Carol, but not a misrepresentation of her. Greg Nicotero is directing the premiere. Okay...and what about the other two blocks? Any women/POC directors? Anyone who's going to honor Carol the way she deserves instead of treating her like an extension of Daryl's story?

So, yeah. About that title. First of all, “The Book of Carol” is an odd choice in itself. The biblical allusions are annoying because they don't speak to who Carol is as a character. I’m not mad that it implies we’re getting Carol’s POV—quite the opposite—but I don’t like the confusion it’s causing either. Let’s be clear, Carol is not a short chapter in Daryl's story. She is Daryl’s story. Calling Melissa a "series regular" is extremely poor wording, and a sincere fuck you to whoever approved it for the announcement. She is a lead with EP credit and creative input. I am so sick of AMC leaving it up to the fans to debate her worth. Tell us she’s vital to the show, tell us it’s her show, and use clear language. Stop giving her haters more ammo they don't need and stop giving her fans more anxiety they really don't need.

Honestly, it would’ve been easier to accept if S2 was formally called TWD: Book of Carol. The problem is "The Book of Carol" is not the title. It's a subtitle of a (sub)title, and it's bullshit. It feels like a scam, another way to try to convince us we're getting what we want when we're not really getting much of anything. I don’t know if they're worried about false advertising since S2 won't be a Daryl and Carol story—more like a Carol story which, again, I’m not mad about as long as it leads to a reunion and canon by the end. Or maybe they’re stubbornly clinging to the belief that Daryl’s name is what sells despite the atrocious ratings suggesting otherwise. Daryl AND Carol do sell though, so why not lean all the way into it? Why risk turning the show into a laughing stock with obnoxious titles? These characters don’t deserve that.

Another thing that worries me is how it'll be promoted. As "The Book of Carol" or Daryl Dixon S2? Is it going to vary based on who AMC is trying to placate? Is "The Book of Carol" going to be smaller than Daryl Dixon on all the key art? Including Carol in the title was supposed to show that Daryl and Carol are equals. That way, Norman and Melissa would also be treated as equals by viewers and by co-workers. This doesn't look very equal to me...

Why —why 😩— do they need to keep rehashing the filming location's origin story, and by rehashing, I mean lying about it and dragging Melissa and her fans through the mud when all we want to do is move the fuck on? I don't like that Gimple (savagely) threw Norman under the bus, and I don't like that Norman, whatever his intentions were, threw Melissa under the bus. Again, this is why we need to hear Melissa's thoughts on the show, specifically what Carol's (and Caryl's) journey will entail not just plot-wise, but emotionally. It's not fair to put all that responsibility on her to make everybody else look good, and I hope it won't come to that, but the people on that panel yesterday really weren't doing themselves or the show any favors. I was pretty unsettled by the number of times I heard the phrases "I wanted this" or "we wanted that." Has anyone ever taken the time to understand what their audience wants? Or has the show really just been a vanity project all along?

I was wary about Zabel pretty much from the start, but finally getting to hear him talk about Daryl cemented how poorly he understands who he is and more importantly what he means to fans. A man being torn between his former way of life and his new one is nothing groundbreaking. It's actually a pretty standard formula that can fit a lot of conventional heroes, but it does not work for Daryl Dixon. Daryl Dixon is not a conventional hero. Daryl Dixon is the most loyal character in TWD history, and it's been well established his loyalty is to his found family of over a decade--Rick, Michonne, Maggie, and especially Carol. We will never buy that Daryl could be torn between them and people he's only known for weeks/months. Someone who tries to force that should not be showrunning. Period. I am terrified to learn more about how Zabel views Carol because so far, it sounds like he doesn't think much of her at all. If he did, maybe he would've written something more substantial for her in the finale.

We'll see what happens on Sunday. Hopefully they'll release the S2 teaser. Hopefully it’ll provide more reassurance. Hopefully something will. At the moment it just doesn't seem like AMC is capitalizing on Melissa's return as much as they could, and they're definitely not capitalizing on Caryl yet. That being said, and I can’t stress this enough, I do trust Melissa’s judgment. If she chose to come back—and she did—it’s for good reason. The wait is going to be difficult, but next year we’ll have six full episodes of Carol trying to find her soulmate. Nobody is taking that away from us no matter how many times the men put their foot in their mouths.

#caryl #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #caryl spinoff #darylneedscarol #the book of carol

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dameronology · 1 year

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can i please request love confessions prompt 1 for poe 🫶🫶

i have not written for poe in so LONG (despite my blog name lol) and i miss him

poe + they're drunk and you're carrying them to their room, when they unexpectedly say how much they love you, causing you to drop them on the floor (x)

Poe Dameron was lively at the best of times.

Poe Dameron drunk was just regular Poe Dameron amplified.

Trying to drag the pilot to his room - with the entirety of his body weight resting on you, legs basically a dead weight - was a challenge. It was made even harder by the fact you were trying to avoid waking the rest of the Resistance. It was just a shame that Poe had other ideas.

"WHY ISN'T EVERYONE ELSE AWAKE?"

"Shut the fuck up, Poe!" you hissed. Despite your best efforts at clamping a hand over his mouth, he'd wriggled free. "It's 2 in the goddamn morning!"

"Exactly," he muttered. "It's so early."

"In the morning?"

"No, I mean, like...early. The party has barely friggin' started, babe!"

Trying to ignore the heat creeping up your cheeks, you lead Poe further down the hallway. His room wasn't far now, but he was beginning to become fucking heavy. Again, it didn't help that he insisted on refusing to use his legs, making him all but a deadweight.

"It's gonna be less of a party when you wake up tomorrow hanging out your ass," you shot back.

Fumbling with his keys, you managed to get the doors to his quarters open. They were as they had always been; cluttered, but not messy. A tangle of jackets and shirts and boots, intertwined with pictures of him with you, Finn, Rey and Leia. A model X-Wing was on his desk, beside a notebook with all his missions plans scrawled down.

"Is this where you leave me?" he asked.

"No, not yet," you muttered.

"Good, that's why I love you so damn much."

There was a dull thud as Poe hit the floor. The distance was only about a foot, but he let out a loud groan as you did. His head didn't even hit the floor, so it was a mystery to as to why he was holding it in pain.

"You love me?" you asked, trying to hide the shock.

"Obviously I do," Poe grumbled. He rolled on his back, dark eyes staring at the ceiling. "Not when you dump me on the floor, though."

"Sorry," you grimaced. "But...do you love love me?"

"I think so," he replied. "I love Finn, and I love Rey, but I love you in a different kind of way and - oh my god! That rhymes!"

"That's...that's a lot to think about," you murmured to yourself.

"Yeah, I know. I think about it all the time," he replied.

Bending down, you took the pilot by the hand and managed to pull him back up.

Dumping Poe in his bed, you pulled off his boots and jacket and put them on his desk chair. There was already water on his bedside table - maybe he'd done some thinking ahead. His painkillers weren't too hard to find either, buried deep in the darkness of his bedside drawer.

"Right, this is where I leave you," you declared, tucking the covers over him. "I'll come and see you in the morning and see how you're doing."

You were trying to act normal, given the revelation.

"Okay..." Poe was already half-asleep. "Can we talk in the morning?"

"You're not gonna remember this in the morning, Dameron."

He lazily stuck his pinky finger out towards you. "But pinky promise me that you'll remind me? Because I've been wanting to tell you that for like two years."

"Yeah," you smiled. "I promise."

#asks #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron imagines #poe dameron fluff #poe dameron #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron reader insert #star wars x you #star wars x reader #star wars imagines #star wars imagine #star wars fluff #star wars #oscar isaac characters

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front-facing-pokemon · 5 months

Note

I just found this blog so I'm jumping aboard the plushie bandwagon.

First we got Absol. (i feel like maybe i should've taken a closer-up picture but it's the face sooo)

Then a Wooloo

And, saving best for last, this Leafeon plush I own... of which I swear on my life is official merch.

I also have some more eeveelutions (plus an eevee and a few more) but: 1. I didn't want to send too many. 2. Eeveelutions are more popular so I wanted to give some other people the chance to submit their own. 3. I don't know where my Pikachu and Snivy plushies are cuz I own too many stuffed animals.

Only reason I submitted Leafeon was so I could show off this ~masterpiece~ of a plushie I own. And it's face isn't the only thing wrong with it too lol. Also I just noticed I accidentally had one of the ears hanging back but I'm too lazy to go take another photo but i hope this amuses you nonetheless.

ALRIGHT THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF YOU AS I'VE BEEN OUT WITH MY FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS HUH

let's start with these guys. beautiful. wonderful. i do not believe that that leafeon is official merch. this statement is baffling to me. welcome to the front-facing pokémon family. i love the eyes on that absol and wooloo is one of my faves. i was rather obsessed with it when it first came out and have a whole wooloo tag on my main blog because of it. though i guess i cleared that whole thing out recently so i don't anymore

let's get the nose ratings out of the way:

↑ this is a lie. 10/10 chespin

it's very wide and also 10/10 you're being too harsh. merry day to you too

circular face indeed. did i already post this one? if i did you can have it again

clodsire be upon ye. clodsire fans this is your treat until gen 9

this is a trend now. i think tumblr just crunched this image to hell for some reason so here's what the text says:

"Felt like joining the others for front facing pokeplushies [images] I have more pokemon but its early morning and these are the plushies that are easy to access"

i have not but i imagine "a moment" has long passed by now. my apologies but apparently today was an important day or something? idk

YEAH it's super unbelievably fucked up. i think i kinda remember the circumstance being a bit dire so everyone else was more worried about either 1. protagonist getting stomped on brutally or 2. saving the world from kyurem / the bittercold. i was totally under the impression that he was dead in that moment but i guess the characters may have known that he would just come back? i seem to vaguely remember partner being surprised that he came back and being like "but we watched you die :OOO" but maybe i'm misremembering that. i do create a lot of pmd lore on my own time so i have a hard time telling the difference between canon and fanon sometimes

two a day makes the world go round! this blog started when i started college, paused for 80% of my college career and now has started back up and i just graduated college a week ago. i would say "how time flies" but it has been a very, very long year

i've said it before and i'll say it again: gen 6 is my favorite gen, so you'll be seeing lots of favor for this gen from me in the tags i'm sure. maybe gen 6 is my excuse to start doing other things here. like that stream i keep talking about

if they put meloetta as a little obscure puzzle thang in sv, i'm sure they'll do something for genesect. i hope. at least for keldeo probably. genesect i'm not sure is very popular, unfortunately, outside of the tumblr crowd. if the general public's opinion on genesect is favorable, then maybe

okay and then i tried to scroll down further in my screenshots for more asks and saw the wobbly will smith in a hospital bed Gimme a Hug, Man that i copied from the "i get a little bit genghis kanghis" post so that's it. to everyone who christmases: merry it. it is today. although it's basically over by now so! merry boxing day for tomorrow if i don't say anything tomorrow. but i probably will. now i'm gonna go queue up today's 'mons because i haven't done it yet today. see you all in a few weeks when those post

#gti spoilers #under the cut. don't look if you haven't played it it's an amazing game #not pkmn #nose ratings #about to queue up gogoat and pancham so be ready for those in a while

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 6 months

Text

A Strange Sort of Family

hi, resident evil fandom, i'd like to throw my hat in the ring

look, i don't even really go here, the fandom mold just got into my brain and would not fucking leave. this is my first time writing any of these characters so if they feel a bit rocky, please forgive me. my media analysis brain has been spinning nonstop since we started the resident evil brain rot and ho boy would I love to sink my teeth into a proper horror fic but! i don't know if i'm there yet so i figured i'd start a bit easier for me :)

also--we all know there's no way ethan's just gone from the franchise now, right? like, sure, he's dead, but he died like 30 minutes into re7 and that didn't fucking stop him

ALSO also big shoutout to @dragonsareaqueerthing and @greenninjagal-blog for the encouragement to actaully make the words go :) hopefully i'll be spending more time in this fandom now that I've got that ball rolling

Read on Ao3

Warnings: talk about events of shadows of rose dlc, nothing explicit, bullying

Pairings: implied ethan/mia/chris, but Ethan & Rose is the focus

Word Count: 10,919

You'd think after about 16 years of being treated like a child and the most powerful bioweapon the world has ever seen, you might get used to it.

Nope!

Not even slightly.

Sometimes a family is a molded bioweapon, a traumatized agent, a former bioterrorist, and a series of golden, sparkly words. Sometimes family is decorating your room with your mother, sometimes family is hugging a pillow because your dad isn't here anymore. Sometimes family is training too hard and going out for ice cream, sometimes family is a dinner where your parents won't stop teasing you.

Or, five times Ethan Winters was there for his daughter, and one time Rosemary Winters was there for her father.

You'd think after about 16 years of being treated like a child and the most powerful bioweapon the world has ever seen, you might get used to it.

Nope!

Not even slightly.

Okay, well, maybe slightly, but only in the way she's able to shake off some of the lesser things that would've made her really upset before. She's no longer threatening the lives of the agents that call her Eveline, to her face or behind her back when they think she can't hear them. Even when she really, really wants to. Small victories.

But despite her best efforts, she still returns to the cell block of a room—Chris had been so insistent that it wasn't a cell, but it was all concrete walls and a tiny window and a camera that she knows is in the corner—and curls up on her bed, jamming her headphones in and refusing to engage with the outside world until she could summon up the resolve to impersonate a normal person again.

Today had been no exception.

Rose throws her backpack onto her desk chair and slings her hat over the hook, kicking her shoes off and collapsing face-first onto the bed with a groan. More tests today, always more fucking tests. Didn't they have every inch of her shitty, moldy body cataloged by now? She has half a mind to start making shit up when they ask her the same stupid questions. 'How are you feeling today, Rose?' Oh, you know, just getting stuck with more needles than a fucking porcupine, how do you fucking think I'm feeling? Yeah, no, no homicidal instincts yet, just had one murderous thought the other day when I was imagining mold eating the bitch who called me a charity case. Although I did go to the park after I snuck away from that asshole you have tailing me on Tuesdays to see if I could amass a mushroom army, how was your day?

A small laugh leaves her throat at the thought of the doctor's face if she actually did say that, but then she'd probably have two assholes tailing her until they deemed her 'no longer a risk.' God, they were supposed to be these super highly trained agents, then why the fuck do they suck ass at being subtle?

Turns out, even having mold superpowers means she still has to breathe like a normal person, so she drags her face up from the bed and doesn't even bother to fully get up to inchworm up to the pillows. She mashes her face against the slightly cold surface—honestly, the best part about this prison-cell-ass room was that the air conditioning was always on Arctic, so her pillows were always cold—and grabs her phone, squinting at the notifications.

One from school saying her group project deadline was coming up…something from some shopping website she'd logged onto out of pure boredom three weeks ago…and a text from Chris.

Rose sits up a little more and opens the text. "Overseas this week…sorry I'll miss the—you fucking dick!"

Of course Chris is working this weekend, of course he's not gonna be fucking here to take her to the cemetery—great, that means another two hours of bus rides until she can actually go see her dad. She swears he does this on purpose sometimes, how often does he actually need to go overseas for 'work?' And it's not like anyone else here would be able to take her, she's learned her fucking lesson about asking them for anything more than more fucking food. Not bothering to stifle her groan, she flops back onto the bed, only for her phone to clatter out of her hand and onto the floor.

Great. Now she has to move again to pick it up.

She decides that moving is actually not what she's going to do right now, letting one arm hang over the edge of the bed, her cheek scrunched awkwardly against the lip of the mattress. She tucks her face against the collar of her jacket and rubs her thumb against the ring on her finger.

"Sorry it's gonna take me longer," she mumbles, "I really wanted to spend longer with you this time."

Her eyes widen when gold sparkling words appear on the floor next to her phone.

it's okay

"What the—" she whips around to look at the door, closed tightly, and jerks back— "how—"

The words are still there. The words are still etched into the floor, right next to her phone. She should check if they're on the camera—no, they can fucking hack into her phone whenever they want, and she doesn't—she can't—if this really is—

Rose swallows the lump in her throat as the words shift and change.

you ok?

"I—what—how are—" she swallows again, camera in the corner of the room, "uh, M-Michael?"

A pause as the words reform: sure

"I mean, I—I know," she says quickly, "I know what—I know what this is, I…I remember, it's just…"

camera, I know

"How is this possible?" she whispers, not daring to move from her haphazard scramble up the bed, "I thought you were—I mean, at the end, when we, uh, did the thing, it seemed like you were…that you were going again."

The words sparkle again as she grips the sleeve of her jacket—his jacket.

apparently i'm bad at it

"Bad at what?"

staying dead

Another laugh chokes its way out of her throat and she reaches out without thinking about it, just to touch the words. They glow a little bit brighter as she touches them and the tips of her fingers glow. Almost as an afterthought, she grabs her phone and shoves it behind her, hopefully muffling the microphone and at the very least, getting its cameras away from her dad.

Her dad. Those are her dad's words, that's her dad, he's here, he's here.

"Are you—is this…are you really here?"

sort of, as the golden words swirl around, part of you

"What do you mean, 'part of me?'"

not a scientist

"You're the only other m—person like me I know, I'm sure it'll be fine." She can almost hear the little huff of laughter as the golden sparkles swirl again. It seems like it's the same as it was when she was in there, with her dad only able to say a few words at a time.

i'm part of the mold, just like you, we're sharing a part right now

"Are you always sharing a part with me?"

i wish i could, and she feels her chest hurt a little bit, takes energy

"I guess that makes sense." Her arm begins to ache from being so stretched out. "I really miss you."

i miss you too sweetie

Fuck, she's 16, she should not be getting this choked up over her dad calling her 'sweetie,' but fuck it, she's a mold person and her dad's dead, she's allowed to sniffle a little when those words glow warmly under her fingers. Some hysterical part of her wonders if he'd be able to give her a tissue or a hanky the way he gave her guns and chem fluid in there, but she scrubs at her nose with her sleeve and decides that it's enough right now that he's here, in her room, still calling her sweetie.

***

She almost recognizes it the second time, a tug in her gut. Given that she's got her hands over her face and is currently doing a fabulous impression of an angry seal, it'd be harder for her to see it. Still, she can't help the dumb smile on her face when she rolls over.

bad day?

"Oh, you know," she mumbles, "just your average day of being a human guinea pig."

She snorts, clapping a hand over her mouth to muffle it. "You know I get a look at their notes sometimes? That's what they call you, just your initials."

surprised they're still talking about me

"What do you mean? Of course they're still talking about you, you're the—" she cuts herself off. The golden sparkles swirl.

i'm the what?

"Never mind."

The floorboards wait expectantly, but she twists the ring around her finger, chewing on her lip. After another moment, new words appear.

can i help?

"With what? With the tests?"

with you

Another tug in her gut, this time at the fact that she can't actually remember the last time someone asked after her, not their biggest liability or their most dangerous weapon. She props herself up on the cold pillows—thank you, government AC—and sighs. "I'm just really tired."

i bet

"Like—are they bored? What do they get out of sticking me with the same needle fifty different times? And it's not like they talk to me about anything, they just look at each other and then fake-smile at me and they tell me 'you're doing great,' like I'm supposed to know what that means. And the other people aren't any better! They keep trying to train me how to do a thing but they're not—it's not like they tell me why we're doing something or what I'm supposed to be doing instead, they just tell me I'm wrong and that's it."

that sucks

She huffs. "You have no idea."

After a moment, though, she realizes that might not actually be true. From what little she's actually managed to get Chris to tell her, and what she can learn from Mom, they were both held in BSAA's quarantine for ages before they moved over to Romania. And if Mom knew about Dad's…not-aliveness way before he did, then they must've done some sort of tests on him too.

"Can I ask you something?"

anything

"Did they, um, did they test you too?"

The floorboards stay empty for a minute, but it feels more like he's thinking than it does him avoiding the question. Sure enough, after another moment, words start appearing again.

they did, they didn't tell me anything either, just that i was lucky

"Lucky how?"

to have made it, even when i didn't

"You did, though," she mumbles, fiddling with the ring again, "you—this part of you made it. Chris told me, Mom told me. You…even after you were…gone the first time, you…you came back. The important parts of you, they came back."

and i'm grateful for it, for you

"You're gonna make me cry," she mutters, scrunching up a little tighter.

i love you Rosie

"Shut up." It's empty and they both know it. A few extra sparkles swirl around and she could swear he's laughing. "I love you too."

Sunlight streams in through her tiny window and she finds herself looking at the way the leaves on the tree dapple the shadow across the floor. Part of her dad's words are still glowing. She looks at the nightstand, bare except for her charger and alarm clock, then over at the desk where her school stuff is, then at the dresser. She reaches out and touches the metal bedframe. It's cold underneath her fingers.

what's wrong?

"Nothing." The words remain and she sighs. "I'm just being mopey."

you're allowed to mope

"Someone at school said something today," she says before she can think better of it, and she winces at how young she sounds.

bullies?

"Not really, it wasn't even really about me, I just—it's stupid."

if you're upset it's not stupid

"They were just talking about this thing they got for their room, okay?" Embarrassment makes her curl her fingers into the loose fabric of her jacket. "It's this mirror thing that hooks up to your phone and lets you play music and stuff from there. They were just talking about it and I thought—see, I told you it was stupid."

There's another pause. The breeze rustles the leaves outside. The shadows dance over the walls.

do you want it?

"Not really…I don't like mirrors that much anyway. And it's not like they'd let me just have another thing that connects to the Internet in here." She glances at the alarm clock. "I barely got them to let me get a laptop for school stuff. I don't think they've got a 'Mold Bioweapon Allowance' in their budget."

The silence grows thoughtful. She turns her head to look at the floorboards again, watching the few sparkles there swirl around.

it's your room, they say finally, it should feel like it

Rose scoffs. "What am I supposed to do, walk up and ask them to sponsor a shopping trip?"

why not?

"They're not gonna do that. They're just gonna brush me off again or tell me they're busy."

you've tried?

"I told you, I barely managed to get a laptop, which is something I need to be able to do schoolwork or anything, even have a taste of what being normal is like. And even then I had to argue for like, ages, and I had to get one of my teachers to write an email saying that it's necessary." She swats the white pillowcase, bitterness seeping into her words. "Everything else isn't necessary. They're all about practicality, like I'm just some other expense they have to deal with."

what about Chris? or Mom?

"Chris isn't here. He's always off somewhere doing something or he's here glaring at me like I'm some stupid new recruit that he doesn't want to have to train. And Mom's…I don't want to bother her, you know? She's got her own life now."

she's your mom, come the words almost before she's done speaking, she'd want to know

Rose sighs, sitting up to lean against the headboard. She twists the ring around and around her finger, chewing on her lip. "I don't know. Sometimes it feels like she's…like she doesn't want to know."

Another pause. What her dad had said before, about them sharing a part of the mold—she can feel something in her chest. An emotion that isn't quite hers, something like a deep and exasperated sadness. It's faint, not quite enough to put words there, but she can tell when she needs to look back down at the floor.

she does love you, let her

"Okay. I'll try."

thank you

"Would you come shopping with me?" she asks, even when she knows the answer. "If you could?"

The room gets a little happier as the sparkles swirl around.

i'd spend all day with you

"What did you want to have in your room? When you were my age?"

telescope

"A telescope?" She laughs. "Did you want to be an astronaut?"

astronaut ew

She laughs again and the sunlight seems a little brighter.

***

She meets Mom at a coffee shop near the big bookstore downtown. She's not wearing Dad's jacket—it still feels weird to do, even after Mom's said it's fine—but she has his ring on a necklace under her shirt. Mom waves her over to a table in the corner, nodding to the smoothie already waiting.

"Pineapple mango," she says as Rose sits down, "your favorite."

"Thanks, Mom." She takes a big drink, savoring the weird feeling the pineapple leaves on her tongue. "How're you?"

"I'm okay. Work's been getting busy again recently with the month's end rush." Mom swirls her straw around her coffee. "Did I tell you about this new thing our boss is trying to make us do?"

"No, what?"

"Apparently some young CEO in the area made it big on corporate social media about 'team building exercises,'" and Rose is already groaning in sympathy, "so he sent out this survey this past week about what activity we'd rather do."

"What were the options?"

"This group painting class thing, where we all paint the same picture—"

"Like in kindergarten?"

"Like in kindergarten," Mom agrees, "there's a bar-arcade place that's just opened up on the West Side that does private events, and then there's a good old-fashioned work dinner."

Rose makes a face. "That's it? No, like, crazy obstacle courses, or escape rooms, or anything?"

"We barely had the budget for the normal year-end stuff."

"So what did you vote for?"

"I ended up voting for the painting, actually—"

"What? Mom, that's so lame."

"Hey!" She jokingly flicks a napkin at Rose. "Lamer than the most awkward dinner you can imagine or sitting and drinking for a whole evening?"

"Isn't that what adults do? You sit and drink and talk?"

Mom sighs, shaking her head as they both laugh. "Yeah, well, I figured it might be better if we tried to do something that wasn't just sitting and drinking."

"I guess."

"Besides, I'm still missing something for the bathroom upstairs. Maybe I'll hang up whatever I manage to make there," she adds, winking at Rose.

It's supposed to be a joke at how bad at art she is—really, even Chris looked at her stick figures and struggled to find something nice to say, and Mom just laughed it off—but Rose's smile fades and she shuffles a little in the chair. She drinks more of her smoothie. Dad's words turn over and over in her head.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Mm?"

"Would you…" She fights the urge to reach for the ring. "Would you help me decorate my room?"

Mom's brow furrows. "At my house?"

"N-no, my…my room at the compound. It's stupid, never mind."

"It's not stupid, Rose," Mom says, picking up her coffee, "I'm just—I guess I'm just surprised. Most teens don't really want their parents anywhere near their rooms."

"Yeah, well, forget it."

A car drives by. Despite herself, she reaches for the ring anyway. Something warm pulses in her chest.

"It's just," she manages, "I don't really have anything in there. It's just the military stuff."

Mom's coffee cup hits the table with a thud. "What do you mean you don't have anything in there?"

"I mean, there's just a dresser, a desk, and a bed. And my little side table thing. They didn't really give me any—"

"How much time do you have?"

Rose blinks. "Huh?"

"How much time before you have to get back?" Mom's already getting up and putting the lid back on her coffee. "We're not that far from the big stores and I have my car."

"I, uh, I think I have a few hours, so—" she scrambles up too, reaching to grab Mom's arm— "wait, you're really okay with doing this?"

Mom pauses for a moment, then reaches out and covers Rose's hand with hers. "You're my daughter, Rosie, I'd love to help you decorate your room."

A lump appears in her throat and she swallows it down. "Thank you."

"Come on," Mom grins, "what are you thinking you want?"

"Uh, I was thinking maybe like a whiteboard? That way I could write down stuff that I might forget? Or like—a magnetic one so I could stick stuff to it?" She gets into Mom's car and they start driving. "Or a corkboard—I've seen a lot of people pin like, pictures and stuff to a corkboard on their walls."

"What if you get both? A corkboard to put pictures and cute stuff and then a whiteboard to write on?"

"I also want a lamp. The normal lights just make my head hurt. And they buzz, you know?"

"Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's like the world's most annoying crickets, isn't it?"

"And there's no, like, in between! It's either no light at all or—"

"Or my eyes are being scorched out, that's right."

They pull into the parking lot of the store and get out, still bouncing ideas back and forth. Mom grabs a cart and they head straight for the stationary section and they spend about five minutes talking about the different corkboards and whiteboards. Then Rose decides she wants magnets so she can stick stuff to the whiteboard, then Mom spots a cute set of push pins, and then another mom and daughter walk by with one of those fancy photo printers that print out pictures from your phone like Polaroids, and they just have to get Rose one of those.

As they pick out lamps and wall decor and sheets that actually have some color, she's struck by how normal this is. She's with her mom. They're shopping for stuff for her room. They're freaking out over the pillows that have little penguins on them. She's actually smiling and laughing and she's excited. She can't wait to get back and put all this stuff in her room.

She just…wishes Dad could be here too.

"I think I'd prefer the yellow lampshade, but it's up to you." Mom looks up from the shelf to notice she's gone quiet. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing," she says quickly, wiping surreptitiously at her face, "…just…I kinda wish Dad was here too."

Mom's fingers stutter on the box and for a moment, she thinks she's going to see those walls go up again, the ones that always go up when she tries to talk about Dad, but then Mom puts the box down and rubs at her wedding ring. She still wears it sometimes. Rose reaches for Dad's, under her shirt.

"I wish he was here too, Rosie," Mom says quietly, "he'd be so proud of you."

Rose swallows, and her eyes catch on a tiny monkey LED lamp further down the shelf. She picks it up. "I think he'd vote for this one, don't you?"

A hint of fond exasperation comes to Mom's face. "God, did I ever tell you what happened when he found out that you loved that little monkey you got when you were still a baby? He tried to buy everything monkey-themed he could find because he thought you might like it."

"Wait, really?"

"I had to get Chris to help me talk him out of buying an entire monkey crib for you."

Rose puts the monkey lamp in the cart. Mom smiles and they keep walking. They end up spending way more than she thought they'd be and sheepishly tries to put some stuff back, but Mom won't hear a word of it and bags everything up.

"Chris can help cover the cost if he's so worried about it," she declares as they pull back up to the meeting spot where the car is supposed to take Rose back to the compound, "anyway, all of this should have been done years ago."

"Thanks, Mom," Rose says, "I had fun."

"We should definitely do it again. I'll help you decorate your college dorm too."

Rose smiles and gets out of the car. It fades a bit when she sees Paul again, leaning against the side of the van with his arms crossed. She turns her back deliberately on him and goes to help Mom get all the bags out of the trunk.

"You're late," Paul says, like he has any right to sound like a smug, condescending asshole.

"By like five minutes. Open the trunk."

"What's all that?"

"Stuff. For my room."

"Well, I—hey!" Paul finally moves when Mom just opens the trunk and starts putting the bags inside.

"You must be the agent Rose told me about," Mom says, her voice saccharine as she dusts off her hands, "is that right, honey?"

"Yeah," she mumbles, "that's him."

"Paul," he says, "Ms. Winters."

"Mia." Mom holds out her hand and he takes it, Rose peering at them from under the brim of her hat. Her eyes widen when Mom yanks Paul closer to her, her smile fading as she hisses in his ear. "Call my daughter Eveline again and I'll break your nose, are we clear?"

Paul jerks in surprise, before turning his head slightly. "Stand down, it's fine, I can handle it."

"You can't afford to make a scene in such a public place," Mom says, her voice still perfectly even, "and Chris won't risk harming me or Rose. So you can start treating my daughter like a person or I can break your nose right now and Chris can clean up your mess."

Rose can't stop her snort as Paul sheepishly walks back to the front of the car and gets in. Mom watches him go before she turns around and says, loud enough for him to hear, "Make sure you send me pictures when you get it the way you want it, okay?"

"I will."

"And if you decide you want anything else, we'll get it next time."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you."

"I love you too, Rosie." She glares once more in Paul's direction before she walks back to her car.

Rose doesn't stop smirking as Paul drives them back to the compound. He slinks off with his tail between his legs after helping her get all her stuff into her room. She can't cover up the camera—and let them know she knows about it—but she can play her music out loud as she decorates, hanging up the little plants they found and pinning a few photos to her new corkboard. It still strikes her how normal all of this is, dancing to her music and putting up all of her new things, finally collapsing onto her now-colorful blankets with a laugh.

She texts a few photos to Mom, who responds with gushing reviews and excited emojis, before she rolls onto her side to look at the floor.

"What do you think?"

The words only take a second to appear.

it's beautiful, sweetie

"You were right," she murmurs, "it was really nice to let Mom take care of me a bit."

i'm glad

"Oh! I forgot to show you the best part!" Rose jumps off the bed and goes over to the far wall, switching on the fairy lights she hung from the ceiling amidst a bunch of fake vines. "Now the camera will just think the glowing is from the lights!"

Golden sparkles swirl beneath the soft glow.

you're so smart

"I mean," she blusters, trying not to show how pleased she is, "I was just tired of lying down to talk to you all the time."

i see, still clever

"Thanks." After a moment, she reaches over and picks up the little monkey lamp and her stuffed monkey, safely hidden beneath her pillows. "Mom told me you wanted to buy a monkey crib for me."

it would go with the onesie

"You got me a monkey onesie?"

mom has pictures

"I'll have to ask her next time." She chews on her lip, running her fingers over the seams of the monkey's ear. "I wish you could've been there."

me too

"Mom threatened to break Paul's nose if he was rude to me again." The light swirls as Dad laughs and she laughs too. "I'd kick him in the nuts too."

that's my girl

***

"Stupid fucking dickhead," she spits as she slams the door, throwing her backpack onto the chair so hard it scrapes across the floor. "Fucking asshole! I'll fucking rip his head off, the fucking bastard!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a tiny sparkle from the floorboards, and she stomps over to the lights, turning them on. Almost immediately, golden words swirl up.

what happened?

"Your buddy Chris fucking happened!" Rose throws herself onto the bed and punches the pillow. "He keeps treating me like I'm some—some fucking gun that only he knows how to fire and I'm fucking sick of it!"

It had been especially bad today, too. Chris apparently woke up and decided yeah, today's the day I'm gonna be a total fucking asshole for no goddamn reason. He started them out sparring, which he never does, he always has them warm up first because it's important not to strain yourself, except apparently not today when she was thrown against the fucking ground three times before she could even open her mouth long enough to say hi.

Or maybe ask what the hell crawled up his ass that morning.

And then he kept fucking looking at her like he was disappointed! Like it was her fault she wasn't expecting to be slammed up against the wall or pinned to the ground by a man fucking three times her size and then grunted at when she winced in pain because that fucking hurt, you asshole! And he kept on saying these stupid little comments that just made her angrier and angrier and then he had the gall to be like hey, you need to get a handle on your emotions like he wasn't pushing every single fucking button he knew she had!

You need to be sharper, he'd said like he had any right to try and be reasonable as he almost dislocated her fucking shoulder, emotions make you sloppy.

Yeah, well, he could try being sharper when he was being bullied for no fucking reason.

And when she'd finally screamed at him that she was done, that she didn't want to fucking do this anymore, he had the fucking audacity, the nerve to scoff and cross his arms and tell her that no, she wasn't done, she was only done when he said she was done. And yeah, she hadn't really made the decision to rush at him after that, her body did that on its own, but he literally just tossed her aside like a fucking doll and then said she wasn't leaving until she could do the fucking stupid thing he wanted her to.

She tried. She really fucking did.

But she couldn't do it.

And Chris kept refusing to help, saying he'd been training her for so long already, that he'd wash her out if she were any other recruit—to which she'd screamed that she wasn't, so why the fuck was he being like this? And he didn't fucking answer! He just told her to try it again and he kept making her angrier and angrier and she could tell Chris was getting angry too which just made hers worse because what fucking right did he have to be mad at her? What the fuck did she do to him?

It ended really badly. She'd gotten so mad she'd thrown herself at him again, not caring about proper technique or what was smart or anything, she just went for him. He grappled her, obviously, and that was supposed to be their tap-out, fight's-over thing, but she hadn't stopped. She'd scratched him and punched him and kicked him even when he growled at her to yield, and when that didn't work, she'd bit him.

Chris fucking wrenched her off of him and threw her across the room and she heard three guns click.

They'd glared at each other, Chris holding his arm like it was a fucking biohazard, and then he'd stalked off without a word while agents forcibly shoved her back to her room.

She's panting by the time she finishes, glaring a hole in the wall right below where the words normally appear. Her hands still tingle from where she'd hit the walls and the pillows. She looks up when she sees the familiar swirl.

you shouldn't have bitten him

The anger surges up her arms and she clenches her fists. "That's all you have to say? No 'I'm sorry he was such a dick, Rose?' 'You didn't deserve that?' You're fucking defending him?"

i didn't say that

"I just told you that your friend, the person you told to watch over me and keep me safe was fucking bullying me for no goddamn reason and the only thing you can say is that I shouldn't have defended myself?" Betrayal steeps vehemence into her words. Her nails bite into her palms. "I'm fucking glad I bit him!"

he's trying to help

"How in the fuck is he trying to help," she cries, "by being as bad as the bullies in school? By treating me like a freak that needs to be kept muzzled and on a leash?"

you did bite him

She picks up one of the pillows and hurls it at the wall. It hits with a pathetic thwap and falls limply to the floor. It only makes her angrier when she sees the words calm down when the lights stop shaking.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! You're supposed to be on my side!"

i am

She barks out a humorless laugh and picks up the pillow, throwing it back on the bed. "You're not on my side, you're on his. I don't need you lecturing me too. Just leave me alone."

More golden words swirl as she turns away, throwing herself onto the bed and curling up tightly around her stuffed monkey. She chokes around the lump in her throat and wills herself not to cry. She'd almost cried in front of Chris today already, she won't give either of them the satisfaction of seeing her cry now. She won't, she won't, she won't! It's not fucking fair that Chris did that. It's not fucking fair that he gets to act however the fuck he wants and then she's the only one punished for it. He gets to go all over the fucking world and only see her when it's convenient to him and he gets to be an asshole about it.

Dad's not even alive.

A sob chokes out before she can stop it, and then it's too late. She's blubbering like she's a stupid fucking baby again and she can hear the echoes of their voices in her ears. All alone, poor freak Rose, crying like a baby who doesn't get her way. She's so weird, she's so stupid, she can't do it. She's useless, she's not strong enough. Just go away. No one wants you here. No one wants you. No matter how hard she presses her hands to her ears, they won't fucking shut up!

Maybe she should've fucking kept the purifying crystal. Maybe she should've left with no powers and had a normal fucking life. Maybe she should've just left her dad to—

As soon as the thought threatens to cross her mind, she recoils from it. Guilt and anger war in her gut as she nearly grows sick. How could she fucking think that? After all he'd done to save her, protect her, how could she think about something like that, even if it was in a fit of rage?

A strangled noise escapes her throat and the bruises and injuries from her humiliating 'sparring session' abruptly make themselves known. Her body screams in pain; her shoulders ache, the bruise on her ribs throbs, and her jaw feels like it's about to explode. She has the hysterical impulse to bite herself and she wonders if it would hurt more than everything else. Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpses a glow coming from the floorboards now and she curls up tighter, burying her face in the monkey's tummy. Fuck it, she's been called overly emotional and childish enough times already, she may as well throw her tantrum properly.

It's like falling into the Megamycete again; she has no idea how long she lies there, wallowing in her own emotional turmoil. Flashes of the bullies, of Chris's stupid fucking face, of watching herself get tossed around and left behind…even stranger things like massive castles filled with screams and horror, creepy old houses that just feel like tombs, deep water and clanking metal, all filled with whispers of freak, dangerous, stupid child, not good enough. Everything is too loud and too quiet and she just wants it to be over.

When she finally manages to rouse herself from whatever malaise she'd fallen into, the sun has long set. Her clock shows that it's close to 10—that would explain why her stomach is trying to dig a hole in her intestines. The anger fled unknown hours ago, leaving her weary and wrung out. In its absence, she no longer feels like the bioweapon that she's supposed to be, only the scared and lonely child. It's cold. She's hungry.

There's still a soft golden glow coming from over the side of the bed.

Her lip wobbles. She doesn't want to face the consequences of yelling at her dad and throwing a pillow at him, but she can't stop the blooming warmth that he didn't leave. She crawls to the edge of the bed and peeks over.

i'm sorry Rose

She sniffles and rubs her cheek on the sheets. "'M sorry too."

you were right, i should've been on your side

"You're always on my side," she mumbles, "I know you are."

still

She sniffles again and tucks the monkey under her chin. "Why was Chris so mean today? Did I do something wrong?"

i don't think so, sometimes he's just like that

"Why?" She's ignoring how much she sounds like a baby, thank you. "It's not fair."

no it's not sweetie

Rose closes her eyes, basking in the soft glow of her dad's comfort. "Was he ever mean to you when you were training?"

yeah

"What did you do?"

broke his nose once

It startles a laugh out of her. "You what? Wait, what happened?"

he was being an asshole, so i punched him

She giggles again, both at the image of Chris's surprised face with a broken nose and at the fact that her dad got so angry with Chris that he punched him hard enough. A few more golden sparkles surround the words before they change again.

you shouldn't try it though

"Aw," she complains, mostly for show, "but you did it."

do as i say not as i do

She's quiet. After a moment, she lets her arm hang down to touch the words again. They glow gently. "I don't like fighting with you."

me neither

"I'm sorry. I was being a brat."

The words swirl up quicker than she's ever seen.

you were upset at something unfair, not a being a brat

She sniffles again, reaching over to grab a hanky and blow her nose with a sharp honk. She throws it over to the laundry basket and lies back down. The words have changed.

if you need to hear it, i forgive you

"I forgive you too."

rest

She nestles up against the pillows. "Will you stay until I go to sleep?"

of course sweetie, i love you

***

Mostly Rose doesn't dream. She'll close her eyes and open them again and it will be hours later and it's time to get up. Most of the time when she does dream, it's weird half-memories that aren't hers mixed with something she does actually remember. She has dreams of a house with a red chimney being taken apart by little robotic goats, or of a crocodile swimming through a swamp filled with dead crows, or of bugs crawling over test tubes and dirty flasks. Some of them make sense when she digs into the files she's not really supposed to have access to, some of them don't.

On rare, awful occasions, she has nightmares.

She's been curled up and unmoving for who knows how long, desperately trying to feign sleep. The mold in her keeps prickling like there's something else in the room, watching her, just waiting for a sign that she's awake to pounce. Her white-knuckled grip hasn't wavered either. She dares hardly breathe; even though her rational brain knows there's nothing there, there can't be anything there, her entire body is screaming. She can feel the milky sweat beginning to ooze from her palms.

Something creaks.

She goes stiff as a board.

A creak, a groan, a rumble as the air conditioning turns on and she forces herself to relax, cracking open one eye to see that yes, this is just her room, there's nothing to be afraid of here, she's fine.

Her eyes land on the switch to the fairy lights.

The small and whimpering part of her lunges for them, for the warm glow of the light, her dad's words, in lieu of running to her parents' bed to be comforted. The other part hisses that the second she moves, whatever's lurking in the dark will strike. The monkey wheezes as she tightens her grip, staring at the innocuous plastic box hanging against the wall.

With a sudden burst, she launches herself from the bed, slapping the button, and curling back up beneath the safety of the blankets.

Immediately, the soft warm light chases away the worst of the shadows and she can peek over her shoulder to assure herself that yes, nothing is there, she's safe in her room, everything's okay. Golden sparkles are already swirling, a quiet inquisitiveness filling that one empty part in her chest as she lies back down. He's rotated his words so she can read them easily.

what's the matter, sweetie?

"Nightmare," she whispers, more into her pillow than anything else.

i'm sorry

She curls up tighter, trying to pull the blankets up almost over her head. The sweat's almost ruined her monkey—she's going to have to wash it again—and she wipes her hands on the sheet. The absence of it hits the cold air and she shivers, hunching tighter in the covers and sniffling. A sudden and sharp ache sears through her chest and she shudders, harder this time, only the top of her nose peeking out over the comforter. She's so cold. Not in the way where she can pile more blankets on and it'll go away—she could put the whole world on top of her and she would still be cold. This horrible, achy, exhausting cold that seeps into her bones and makes her want to cry.

what can i do?

"You said in your—in your letter," she hiccups, "that you'd hold me when I had nightmares, and—and sing to me until I went back to sleep."

But the words on her wall are just words and words can't hold anybody.

She wants a fucking hug, goddamnit. No one touches her anymore, not unless they're running some stupid test, or sparring, or escorting her roughly down the hallway like some—some prisoner. The last time someone touched her and it wasn't that it was Mom, telling her she'd help decorate her room and that was so long ago, everyone else just—just—

"I want to go home," she sobs and it lands like a dead weight in the still room.

what do you mean?

"I want to go home, I want to go back to that house you showed—showed me when I was in there, where you—where your memories are and I can actually h-hear you and it's warm an'—an' safe, and you love me," she cries, not caring that it's the middle of the night and she's talking to a wall, "no one here loves me. No one loves me, the doctors think I'm some—some experiment that's run too—too long and the agents all think I'm a l-liability and Mom's not here because she gave me up and Chris h-hates me."

he doesn't hate you sweetie

"He does! He does, he does, I can feel it." She hugs her monkey tightly to her chest. "He h-hates me for being the reason you're not—you're not here anymore and he hates me for reminding him that you're dead and he hates me for—for being like this and—and—and—!"

shh…shh…shh…

But he's not here and she can't hear him shushing her and she's all alone in her cold, dark room and she wants to go home.

don't cry, Rosie, it's gonna be okay sweetie

"It's not. 'S not okay."

The wall doesn't move for a moment, then it swirls again.

scoot back, i'm going to try something

Frowning, she does, shuffling awkwardly back until she's on the far side of the bed. The golden light swirls around for another second, before it writes itself on one of the pillows.

hug me

"D—Michael?"

i'm right here sweetie, i love you so much

With trembling fingers, she reaches for the pillow, touching the words with a soft gasp as they glow warmly against her still-slick palms. A sob of disbelief leaves her throat and she bundles it to her chest, burying her face in it. A soft scratching and buzzing fills her ears as more words write themselves across the pillow, but she doesn't pull her face away to read them. Not when this is the closest thing to hugging her dad she's been since she was in the deepest stratum of the Megamycete, crying over his dying body. Not when she's still so cold and the words are so, so warm. She tucks her face into the crook of the pillow's embrace and she cries.

The words don't stop writing themselves over and over and if she focuses hard enough, it almost sounds like her dad is humming.

She falls into a light sleep, not willing to miss a moment of actually being so close to her dad, soothed by his presence. Soon, light has begun to break through the window, the auto timer on the lights long since activated to switch them off. The pillow is all gross from a mixture of drool, snot, and tears, and she sheepishly tries to wipe it away when a small glow comes from underneath.

it's okay

"It's kinda gross."

my privilege, i'm your dad

"Still."

ew, remember?

A watery smile. "Thanks."

i love you so much, i'm so proud of you

"I love you too," she mumbles back, curling her arms around the pillow. Another set of words writes itself and she leans back.

do you really think Chris hates you?

"I don't know. He…he looks at me like he can't sometimes. Or like he's waiting for me to…I don't know, turn crazy or bad or like he's waiting for me to turn into you, almost." She rubs her fingers over the pillowcase. "He used to be nicer."

have you spoken since?

She doesn't need to ask what he's talking about. "No. He's been out of town again. He's supposed to be back, um…"

She leans over to check her phone, eyes widening when she sees the date.

"Uh, today. Shit, I actually think we're supposed to have a training thing today."

Before more words can write themselves, there's a knock on her door. She freezes, phone still in her hand, pillow clutched close.

"Rose?" Fuck. "It's Chris. Can I come in?"

be brave, says the last flutter of words before her dad vanishes, i love you

"…yeah."

Chris opens the door. Rose tugs on her dad's jacket over her pajamas and clutches the pillow in her lap. She doesn't look at him. He moves around a little in the doorway before he shuts it with a click. After a moment, the bed dips and groans under his weight and she sneaks a glance at his arm. Her bite mark is still there.

"Surprised they let you walk around before that healed."

"You didn't even break the skin."

It's probably meant to come off in a way that means she doesn't have to worry about it, but it stings anyway. She turns away again.

A car drives by outside.

"I owe you an apology," Chris says finally, his voice low and gruff, "I shouldn't have been so harsh. I'm sorry."

She doesn't reply, but she shifts to face the window instead of the wall.

"There's been talk of getting you moved to another squad," he continues, and her stomach drops—is Chris leaving too?— "and I thought…if I could prove that you were good with us, that we had it all under control, then they'd drop it. Leave you alone."

At the rustle as he shifts, she glances over at him. His jaw works and his hand twitches on his knee.

"I thought…" He trails off, then scoffs at himself, shaking his head. "I don't know what I thought."

He turns to meet her gaze and her gut clenches at the obvious guilt and remorse she can see there. She swallows.

"You were mean." Her voice comes out a lot smaller than she'd hoped. She swallows and tries again. "I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you, Rose," he says in a rush, turning to face her, "please don't think that."

"So you're not trying to get rid of me?"

"Shit, Rose, no, I'm not trying to get rid of you. You're—I think Mia'd kill me if I tried, no, I'm just—" he takes a breath— "I'm just trying to keep you safe, okay?"

"Then you should've said something! I would've trained harder if I knew—we could've—I would've done something else, did I do something wrong?"

"No," he insists, shaking his head, "no, you didn't do anything wrong."

Relief begins to pool warily in her chest. Her grip on the pillow loosens and she scoots a little closer. "I'm sorry I bit you."

He shakes his head again. "It's fine. You, uh, you have good bite strength."

"Good bite strength?"

"Yeah. Your contact's really good." He gestures to the bite mark on his arm. "Got all of them in there too."

"Thanks," she says, laughing a little. Chris smiles and it's a bit easier to breathe. She gives herself a shake. "So, what's today? Weapons, sparring, how to punch boulders?"

"Actually, I, uh, thought we'd go get ice cream."

Rose pauses, looking up at him, blinking as if she'd heard wrong. "Ice cream?"

"Weather's gonna get cold soon, the good place around the corner's gonna close." He shrugs. "Been craving it."

"Yeah…yeah, ice cream sounds good."

"Great."

And before she can think too much of it, she throws herself at him and hugs him for all she's worth. She feels him stutter, not quite sure what to do, and then his arms slowly wrap around her, holding her just as tightly. And oh, she's on fire, Chris is big and warm and solid and he's holding her like she's something special and she's gonna fucking cry her eyes out if she stays here a moment longer and she's gonna die if she lets go. Chris lets out a noise of dismay when she sniffles and scoops her up, like she's a little kid again, holding her in his lap and now she's making a mess of his shoulder too.

She could swear she feels Dad smile.

***

+1.

"I'm telling you," Rose says as she lounges on her bed, "you're wrong about the cover. It's actually pretty good."

i like the classics

"Yeah, well, you're old and boring, so that makes sense."

The sight of the old-fashioned emoticon frowny face makes her burst out laughing. "Oh my god, that's so lame. I don't think I've seen someone use that in years."

it's a classic!

"You gotta get with the times!"

totes dope fam

Rose winces at the immense amount of psychic damage those three words dealt, her neck protesting as she almost cringes it out of alignment. "No, D—Michael, just no."

lol

She tosses the pillow playfully at the wall again, laughing when another frowny face appears on both it and the wall. "Aww, okay, I'm sorry, here."

She picks it up and cuddles it and the frowny face turns to a smiley face. Lying back down, grin still on her face, she toys with his ring. It's gotten shinier from all the rubbing, except where she ties the cord around it so she can wear it as a necklace. She turns it this way and that, watching the sunlight glint off of it. As she does, she catches sight of the engraving on the inside.

Always and forever.

"Do you want me to tell Mom and Chris about you?"

The words swirl for a moment.

up to you

She pushes herself to sit up, propped on one elbow. The ring glistens as she slides it back onto her finger, turning it to and fro. "I don't know. It feels bad keeping something like this from them, but I want to be selfish about it too, you know? I kind of like having you all to myself."

it's not selfish

"And what if Chris thinks it's bad?" She twists the ring harder. "What if he tries to take you away from me?"

i won't let that happen

Her shoulders drop a little and she picks up the pillow again, cuddling into it. A few words write themselves across it just so she can feel their warmth and she rubs her cheek against it. "Don't you miss them?"

all the time

A melancholy that isn't hers hangs in her chest and she squeezes the pillow again. "Then should I? They miss you too, you know. I think they'd be happy to, you know, hear from you again."

The words fade and the wall glows again as he thinks. She lets him have his time, rubbing the ring back and forth, listening to the slight rattle it makes as it spins around her too-small finger. When she hears the familiar soft scratch again, she looks up.

they're happy now, i don't want to ruin that

"They're not happy," she can't help but say, "they still miss you."

content, then

"You wouldn't be ruining anything," she argues, "I thought—I thought I'd never get to see you again after I got out of there. The day I heard you again? That was the happiest moment of my life."

mine too sweetie, or my un-life i guess

The words glow brighter as her fingertips glow too. She gets up and lays her hand against the wall, smiling as their powers dance together. "I really think they'd be happy."

A pulse of warmth runs up her arm to her chest as the words shift once more.

when you think the time is right

"I'll tell you, I promise."

i'm so proud of you, Rose, i love you so much

"I love you too."

That time doesn't come on their terms, though, because that would be easy. No, instead it's when she and Chris are over at Mom's house for dinner and Chris asks a question out of nowhere that almost makes her spit all over the table.

"What?" Mom asks as Rose glares a hole in Chris's stupid forehead.

"I said," Chris says like an unrepentant asshole, "who's Michael?"

"Michael?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rose mutters, staring down at her lap.

"I was coming to get you for training last week and you were talking to someone called Michael." Chris takes a bite of steak and talks with his mouth full, like an asshole. "So who is he?"

Mom elbows her, winking. "Someone you like?"

"What? Ew, gross, no!"

Chris and Mom just laugh and Mom elbows her again. "Don't worry, I was your age once too. That's how I reacted when my mom asked me about my crush."

"Michael isn't my crush!"

"Boyfriend, then?"

"No, he's not my—" she covers her face and sighs. "He's not my boyfriend, he's not my crush, he's not someone from school, happy?"

"So who is he?"

Well, fuck it, no time like the present. She pushes back from the table, muttering about using the bathroom. They wait until she's halfway up the stairs to start talking again, their voices low in that way where she knows they're still talking about her, but she pays them no mind as she goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. She braces her hands on either side of the sink and takes a deep breath.

"I'm guessing you heard all that."

The words swirl up right below the mirror.

yeah

"I mean, it's not like we'll get a better opportunity."

probably not

"Are you ready?"

are you?

She rubs at the chip in the linoleum and turns on the cold water, just to make sure there's no milky sweat on her hands. "I'm nervous."

me too

"No matter what happens," she says firmly, "no matter what they do or say, I'm here for you, okay? I've got your back. I love you."

i'm so proud of you, sweetie, i love you too

The words glow cheerfully against the weird tile pattern and she reaches out to touch them. They share a moment before the words fade and she takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders in the mirror and nodding to herself. "Right. Let's do this."

She marches back downstairs and Mom and Chris do a horrible job of pretending not to be nosy and expectant. She sits back down and folds her hands in her lap.

"I'll tell you who Michael is," she begins, "but you have to promise not to tell anyone else."

"I promise, honey," Mom says, miming zipping her lips shut.

"Chris, you promise too."

Chris looks at her for a moment like he's going to disagree, then he winces as Mom kicks him under the table. "I promise too."

"Good." She takes another breath and reaches for the ring around her neck. The second she brings it out from under her shirt, Chris's silverware clatters against the plate and Mom inhales sharply.

"Rose," she says shakily, "where did you get that?"

"Before I said yes to joining you," Rose says, "I met K outside the lab. He told me there might be a way to get rid of my powers for good."

Chris frowns. "K never said anything like that to me, what do you—"

"I'm getting there. He took me to the lab where there was a piece of the Megamycete, and said that—"

"He what?"

"Will you both just listen to me?" The two of them quiet down. "Thank you. So, like I was saying, he took me to see the piece of it and said that there was a purifying crystal that Miranda discovered that could take the mold out of someone. All I had to do was look through the Megamycete's index of consciousness to see if I could find it."

"That's incredibly dangerous, Rose," Mom says quietly, and Chris looks like he's trying to strangle his fork. "Please tell me you didn't—"

"I wanted them gone," she interrupts, looking at her Mom, "they were—I was just a freak with no friends. Someone offered me the chance to be normal, are you telling me you wouldn't have done the same thing if you were a teenager?"

Mom looks at her for a long moment, but she doesn't disagree. Rose squeezes the ring and keeps going.

"It wasn't that easy, obviously. It was…really hard. And really scary. I had to fight my way through these, like, twisted versions of the places in Miranda's village, like that big castle and the creepy doll house, and there were all these versions of me that kept getting killed and tortured, I fought a version of Eveline too—"

"Rose," Chris tries to say but she doesn't let him.

"—but I had help," she continues. "There was something helping me. It helped me figure out where to go, what to do, gave me a gun and taught me how to use it. There were these glowing words that would appear when I needed them most and it…it was like having a guardian angel."

"Michael," Chris says, and she nods.

"Yeah, I called him Michael. He—he kept trying to get me to leave, said that it wasn't safe, but I wanted to find the crystal and so he helped me. And then we found out K wasn't actually K and it was all a trap set by Miranda—"

"It was what?"

Chris is already getting up. "Is she still in there? Do we need to—"

"Sit down, Chris, it's fine, we beat her. She's dead now, like, really, actually dead. She crystalized and turned to dust, I saw it."

His face still looks like he ate a lemon, but Chris sits slowly back down. He exchanges a worried look with Mom and she puts her hand on Rose's shoulder. "You said 'we?'"

"Me and Michael." She looks down at the ring and turns it over in her hand. "Until I found out who he really was."

Mom gasps, a small and shuddery thing. She holds her hand over her mouth and stares at Rose. "Ethan."

Chris makes a noise too as Rose nods. "Yeah. It was him the whole time. He…he protected me. From Miranda, from Eveline, from everything."

"He loved you so much, honey," Mom whispers, her eyes growing wet, "he never stopped loving you."

"He showed me our house in Romania," and to her horror, she can feel her voice growing thick too, "with all his memories. I heard his voice, Mom, he—he wrote me a letter, did you know?"

"Yes," Mom says, trying not to sob, clutching her shoulder, "yeah, honey, I know. He cried so much while he was writing it, he wanted you to get old enough to read it with him, oh, Rose…"

She swipes a hand under her nose and turns to Chris, who's doing that big, tough, I'm-too-manly-for-my-emotions-right-now thing and reaches for him too. After a moment, his hand turns and covers hers. He's trembling. "He taught me how to fight, Chris. We—we fought together. He shot the monsters in the face with a shotgun and gave me his power so I could kill Miranda, once and for all."

Chris swallows heavily. "Your dad was…he was one of the best men I've ever known, Rosie. He would be so proud of you." He sniffs. "You said he shot them in the face with a shotgun?"

"Mhm."

"Yeah, that sounds like Ethan, alright." Mom laughs and it sort of sounds like a sob but she and Chris are smiling now, so it's okay. Chris looks back at her and nods a few times. "So you were talking to him, then?"

"Yeah. When you walked by on Tuesday, I think it was…yeah, we were arguing about whether the original Blade Runner was better than 2049." She wrinkles her nose. "He said the original was better but I like the remake."

Chris frowns. "What do you mean, he said—"

The words scrawl over Mom's dining table, illuminating their faces.

i like the classics, that's all

Rose would laugh at the way Chris almost falls out of his chair if his hand and Mom's weren't trembling. She looks at Mom, who stares at the glowing words, and at Chris, who looks like he's about to be sick.

Mom breaks the silence first. "…Ethan?"

The words move, now right next to her forgotten plate.

hi honey

"You're—you're—"

bad at staying dead?

Mom's breath leaves her like she's been punched in the gut. "Oh, Ethan, I—I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry—"

breathe, it's okay

She squeezes Mom's hand as she takes a few shaky breaths. "What—how is this possible?"

rose

"We're both part of the mold," Rose says when Mom looks to her, "he's…he's using my part right now, we're sort of sharing it."

told her i'm not a scientist, figured you'd get it :)

"No one uses those anymore," Mom mumbles and Rose whispers a quiet told you so! as the smiley turns to a frowny for a moment, before the words change again.

i know it's been hard, i'll always love you

"Oh, Ethan," Mom whispers, reaching out to touch the words. She gasps as a flicker of warmth pulses through them and Rose squeezes her hand again. "I miss you."

i miss you too

Another glow flickers up next to Chris, who startles and stares down at the words in shock.

you too

"E-Ethan, I—" he cuts himself off as the words swirl again.

thank you for taking care of my daughter

Chris swallows heavily. "She's incredible, Ethan. You should be proud of her."

always am

"I'm sorry," Chris whispers, and something in Rose's gut clenches at how close to tears he looks too, "if I'd been faster, we could've gotten you out of there, we could've…"

it's okay, Chris, we're all okay

"You're dead."

i died in 2017, doing pretty well considering

"He is really bad at staying dead," Rose adds, "Miranda said so too. You should've seen her, she was so mad at us."

Chris looks like he's having a hard time deciding whether he wants to laugh or cry. The sparkles swirl again.

she's a fighter, she gets that from you too

His free hand jerks and Rose squeezes the one in hers. "You can touch, Chris, he won't bite. That's my thing."

it won't hurt, promise

Chris takes a deep breath and slowly touches the words. His breath leaves him in a rush as they glow warmly under his fingers. Rose smiles as she feels the mold connect all of them there, in that moment, through her and Ethan. Some part of her clicks into place. As if he can feel it too, which he probably can, another set of words appears in front of her.

we're so proud of you, Rosie

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbles as she feels heat rush to her cheeks, "shut up."

no :)

Mom laughs. "We finally have all three of us together again and you want us to not tell you how proud we are of you?"

"They've got a point, Rosie."

"I'll break your nose!"

"No, no," Mom says as Chris squawks, even though she's still smiling, "no breaking Chris's nose."

even if he deserves it

"Hey!"

As they all laugh together, Ethan's words still glowing in the warm, quiet house, Rose sits back in her chair and twists her dad's ring around her finger. Sure, being a mold bioweapon teenager was weird, but if this is the family she gets to have because of it, it can't be all bad.

#dragonbabbles #fic #resident evil #resident evil 7 #resident evil 8 #resident evil biohazard #resident evil village #resident evil shadows of rose #rosemary winters #ethan winters #mia winters #chris redfield

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lorilane33 · 11 months

Text

Best Friends

A/N: OH MY GODS HI GUYS!! I am indeed still alive. So it’s been a minute. Or five. Or... closer to three years lol anyway. @jobean12-blog @beccaanne814 and @musings-of-a-rose here this lovely thing is. :) I’m so nervous to be posting again, especially for a fandom like The Last of Us. But, Tommy Miller has give me brain rot, so here we are. I’m going to stop rambling now, so please be nice lol

Summary: A day in the park with your bestie Tommy takes an interesting turn.

Word Count: 1,369

Warnings: Not a single one. Other than Tommy Miller himself because that man’s southern charm KILLS MEEEEEE. dead. so dead.

— — — — — — — — — — — —

Tommy has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. The two of you are thick as thieves, spending all your free time together and the two of you usually end up escaping the world for a while.

On this particular afternoon the two of you are at a park Tommy had come by on one of his runs earlier in the week. He had insisted he show it to you the next time you two hung out, and that you would love it. The two of you are currently laying in the grass, watching the clouds go by and just catching up with each other.

You roll your eyes and continue your rambling about a coworker who’s been frustrating you at work. “… she’s just really been pissing me off recently, Tommy! It’s like she’s trying to get herself fired at this point, but the administration hasn’t done anything to get rid of her. It’s a never ending cycle at this point.” You finish with a huff, crossing your arms in frustration.

Tommy, who is normally ready with advice or another appropriate response to whatever it is you’re talking about, is far quieter than usual after one of your rants. In fact he’s not really acknowledging that you’d been talking at all.

Curious as to what has been holding his attention, you turn toward him and joke, “Tommy, are you even paying atten-” only to find his dark chocolate brown eyes already gazing at you intently. His lips are split into a grin, just wide enough to bring his dimples and laugh lines out of hiding. Giggling, you reach up and poke a finger into his left cheek. “Hey, Tommy. You okay over there?”

Chuffing softly, Tommy blinks and playfully pulls away from you, and looks away. Suddenly he seems nervous, and he gives you a quick fake smile to placate your curiosity. “Yeah, everything is great. Why wouldn’t it be?”

As he turns away from you, the sun catches in his hair and you think to yourself, ‘My god, he looks so handsome right now.’ Immediately you scold yourself for thinking such thoughts about Tommy, the guy who’s supposed to be your best friend.

Glancing at him briefly to make sure he hasn’t looked back at you yet, you let your eyes roam over his features. The sun is doing wonders for his freckles, contrasting beautifully with his bronzed skin. Realizing just how handsome your best friend, your fingers itch to run through those dark curls of his and mess them up.

Furrowing your brow, you suddenly feel a tension between the two of you you’ve never felt before. Hoping to rid the situation of the newfound weirdness you let yourself gently grab his chin and turn his face back around to you. When he finally makes eye contact with you again, you ask him more gently, “Tommy, are you sure everything’s okay? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

He swallows hard enough you hear it, and you see him building up the courage to tell you whatever it is that’s on his mind. Finally he exhales, seeming to have found the courage he was looking for. Smiling his cheeky Tommy Miller smile at you, he answers,` “it’s nothin’, darlin’, I promise. It’s just… I mean… you’re so beautiful when you’re angry. I couldn’t help but stare.”

As he finishes, he slowly brings his hand up and gently begins to run the backs of his knuckles against your cheek. Your cheeks warm under his attention, and you gasp as you feel his hand make contact and your eyes flutter at the sensation; his touch is completely familiar and completely new to you at the same time. “Tommy. What are you do-“

“If you stop me now, I won’t be able to finish, sweetheart. Please, lemme finish this.” Your jaw drops a little as he cuts you off, and you try to wrap your mind around what he’s saying. Tommy notices, smirks, and quickly picks up where he left off. “We’ve been friends for so long, and I wouldn’t be close to where I am now if it weren’t for you.”

He gently turns his hand that’s caressing your cheekbone to cup your face with it. Tears prickle in your eyes as you lean into the contact. He chuckles continuing, “I don’t even know when I realized the love I have for you went deeper than a platonic friendship, but now that I have I can’t imagine not telling you. You have the kindest, most beautiful soul I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, sweet girl. The way you go out of your way to be kind to everyone even when you’ve had a rough day never ceases to amaze me.”

You realize he’s looking at you like he’s seeing you for the first time, and you bring your own hand up to rest on his, encouraging him to keep going. He doesn’t fail you. “God, I could spend hours counting the various shades in your eyes and never tire of it. Words will never be enough for how much I love you.” A stray tear falls down your cheek, and he lovingly brushes it away as his lips quirk.

“Darlin, are you getting emotional on me? I can’t quite tell if this is good crying or the type of crying you do before you let me down easy. Please, just let me go lick my wounds in pea-“

“Tommy!” You say with a grin. Shaking your head at his shenanigans, you continue. “You.. are so dumb. I love you too, and I can’t wait to kiss you.” Before he can make some sassy rebuttal, you close the distance between the two of you and gently press your lips to his.

The moment your lips touch, a feeling of being home takes over the two of you. Tommy brings his other hand up to cup your face in both his hands completely. You drop your hand to his chest, lightly gripping his shirt in your hand. Gentle pecks and whispered words of love between new lovers eventually become more urgent.

One of his hands drops to your waist, pulling you closer into his embrace. You feel his tongue gently swipe across your bottom lip, asking permission and you moan in response.

Suddenly Tommy’s invading your mouth, making you question why you’d ever waited this long to be with him. When you decide to nibble his bottom lip, he groans in response, his hand on your waist dropping to your ass, firmly gripping it and pressing you even harder into him. The two of you continue kissing as Tommy leans up on an elbow and just enough over you to take charge of the kiss.

After a few more minutes, Tommy reluctantly pulls away from you, breathing tearing in and out of both your chests as he does. You look at him in confusion, wondering why he’s decided to stop. “Why’d you stop, Tommy? Things are just getting good,” you wink at him and graze your hand down his toned chest towards his belt buckle.

Before you venture too far south his hand reaches up to stop you. The smile he gives you in return reminds you just how breathtakingly handsome he is, and you lean in to place another kiss on his lips, but he reaches out and stops you.

Instead, he brings your forehead down and places a gentle kiss there. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m going to remember this moment forever. If I don’t stop kissing you now, I won’t have the strength to stop.”

“And that’s a problem, big boy?” You pull away to look up at his lips, smiling lazily at him in response. He groans once more before answering you.

“Absolutely, honey. Now. Mama raised Joel and I to be gentlemen, and she’d skin me alive if I even thought about taking you for the first time out in broad daylight.” He says with conviction. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going back to my place where I can take you apart the way I want to.” His eyes gleam with mischief as he looks at you. “So. What do you say?”

#tommy miller #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller x you #tommy miller tlou #tommy miller hbo #tommy miller fluff #tommy miller fanfiction #tommy miller fan fiction #tommy miller fic

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kerubimcrepin · 5 months

Text

Episode 9: The Legendary Unikron

The post where I finally make the naming format of this blog more sane

This is the same place as the one, where in the episode "Heads for no Tails" it will be revealed that Kerubim obtained the legendary, life-draining Heads for no Tails restraint while pissdrunk. Y'know. The one meant for an Ondine created by Djaul to trick the dragon Aguabrial into creating a Dofus.

Yeah, I will not think too much about the fact that it is flipped. To me, they're The Same Place. I guess he's been drinking here for decades. Kind of cute.

And yeah I guess it means the Ondine named Ondine, from the episode Like a Snapper in the Water is literally just named "Siren the Siren". I guess her mermaid parents weren't very creative. I'll mention this when I liveblog that episode too, but I would feel bad, if I didn't mention this here too.

We will talk about my feelings on Kerubim leaving the legendary demon-killing life-draining shackles somewhere Joris, in his shelf-climbing corridor-running wisdom, could reach, later.

We'll get there when we get there.

Glad to know there's a reason Kerubim and Joris live in a bad neighborhood. And that reason is that Kerubim wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else.

Love his scary and off-putting behaviours.

Okay, rant incoming:

Firstly, this is a customary french drink bowl, to stop any wondering from the non-french aware readers. It's normal for French people to drink coffee, milk, and tea from a bowl, soup-style, in the morning and in the evening. So this part is normal.

Now onto more sillywhacky part of this: What the fuck is Joris doing here, exactly?

As we can see, his Bowl of Liquid is steaming even before he starts pouring the chocolate milk into it. Is he adding chocolate milk to hot milk? Is he adding chocolate milk to cocoa or hot chocolate? (I will fight people who don't differentiate between them, they're two different things, you heathens.)

Is he, mayhaps, adding it... to tea?

We will never know, yet the question is haunting.

Interestingly, it seems that one of Simone's jobs around the house is polishing swords. Also, her being here so late means that, quite predictably, she is a live-in maid.

(You can see that like, 50% of this blog is me paying to random details that could only be useful in like, extremely faithful fanfiction, and 50% getting whacky with this show's storytelling.)

I love Simone so, so much. Truly, she is Joris's cooler aunt.

No comment besides this image.

Joking. I do have a comment, actually. Imagine me putting on a tinfoil hat here, btw.

I think it's kinda telling that Joris's main fear, the one that re-occurs a multiple times during the show, and always, without fail, makes him break down in tears, is Kerubim dying.

The facts that are important to keep in mind are: They've been living together alone for Joris's entire life, Joris knows he's adopted, and Kerubim himself is an orphan, which he doesn't really hide.

Which leads to multiple conclusions, which all coexist:

1. Joris is a kid who's very aware of the mortality of parents/guardians, and that, above everything else, that he is lucky to have a home and a semblance of family. That if Kerubim wasn't there, he may not have had that.

Which is uh... a pretty stressful thing for a kid his age to know, I suppose!

Especially considering the fact that Kerubim is an old man riddled with back pains, and for 7 years had such a level of post-lou-divorce post-battle-with-julith depression that he could not figure out how to get them into a clean, non-shitty non-hazardous home.

And now that their home IS clean, still can't make it non-hazardous.

2. Joris and Kerubim are much closer than most parents and children, because they literally have no other relatives, and Kerubim has pushed away most people who would consider him a friend in the past. Only relying on one another isn't the best or healthiest idea, but what choice do they have?

You can't just show up at home, be like "i would be dead, if it wasn't for you giving me water, my jojo <3" and not expect to inflict some eldritch horror levels of psychic damage onto your son.

Especially considering the fact, that he KNOWS, from your own shitty stories, that when you're gone, and it IS a when, because you're an old man who's constantly complaining about his health, he's going to be fending for himself all alone.

It's pretty obvious, then, why Joris would put Kerubim on a very high pedestal and, as will be shown later, prioritize the man's feelings over his own. Kerubim is his best friend, his role model, provider, guardian, AND the only one family member he has.

Besides depending on him, Joris knows papycha is a very, very lonely and sad person, — and who is he, not to try and make the life of the one person, who's most important to him, better?

If Kerubim isn't always happy, both in general and with Joris, then that's the worst thing ever, and if Kerubim isn't amazing, all-capable, and Not Going To Die Within The Next Couple Of Years Due To Being Old As Fuck, then their life is Over.

So Joris has to put in a lot of work.

This analysis isn't even picking apart the nitty-gritty of Kerubim being an orphan and having abandonment issues, or the way those things make him latch onto Joris the same way Joris latches onto him — as if this child is his Only Hope and Savior, Who Won't Leave Him Like All The Others.

And how that might lead to him REALLY liking Joris idealizing and putting him on a pedestal, despite the guilt he might feel knowing that that's kind of a... not-good parenting tactic.

...Man this post isn't even a rewatch liveblog anymore, it's just an analysis post, innit? 💀

#ep9 #wakfu #dofus #krosmoz #ro liveblogs dofus #joris jurgen #kerubim crepin

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lavendertales · 2 years

Text

Rekindled || Javier Peña x f!reader**

summary: back in Laredo, Javi’s past weighs heavily on him. luckily, a long lost love is there for him.

word count: 4.4k

warnings: mentions of religion, loss and depression, alcohol and smoking; piv, cunnilingus, fingering, praise kink, doggy (what can I say, sad slut Javi needs some comfort). song inspo.

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!

gif: @skyshipper

read on AO3

The air is thick with heat, sweat and long lost memories. Some better than others. Not a single breeze rushes through the air. It’s all still, almost as if dead.

In all honesty, Laredo is both comforting and haunted.

Can’t be any worse than Colombia though, Javier thinks fleetingly as he tosses and turns in his bed. The heat is holding him in a chokehold, but you think he’d be used to it after facing years of it both here and in the drug paradise. But there’s a certain sadness attached to his hometown.

The looks people throw him, the smiles, the soul-aching melancholy that creeps its way into his heart each time he sets foot back home, they’re all making him feel even more disappointed with the outcome of his so-called career.

Home, he scoffs and stands to the side of the bed, his head in his hands. It’s been far too long since he last thought of a place as his home. Laredo is, now more than ever before, a dusty memory at the bottom of a box filled with many more of the same kind.

People here view him as a hero. Javier, on the other hand, feels like a failure. Yet he still shakes the hands of those who reach out to him to thank him, still offers a faint smile in their direction that fades into regret not a second later. He’s glad he can at least help his father though. He’s not getting younger, and the ranch needs a lot of work. That is now his sole satisfaction.

Okay, perhaps not the sole one.

He remembers your face vividly, like it is permanently tattooed on his brain. You were never exclusive; there was never any definition attached to your relationship and truly, there never seemed to be enough time. You were two acquaintances finding occasional solace in each other’s arms. Bodies entangled together, creating the only safe space either one of you ever knew, bringing pleasure to the other.

You’ve known each other for a long time. You were barely teenagers when your connection blossomed. Time split you apart, threw you in completely different directions and yet, whenever Javier made his back to Laredo, he subsequently made his way back to you.

He is a special part of you. That you would deny to no one should they ask, not even to yourself. Always has been, always will be. But you know him better than to admit to some childish feelings that could imprison you both to a lifetime of misery, or unwanted responsibilities. Things tend to work like that in this silly town: traditional, ancient, and you and Javier were either of those things. Each time you saw each other it felt like the first time, and there never seemed to be enough time to give in to each other.

But you do care for him, just as much as he cares for you. He needn’t say it or even show it in some way. You feel it.

Sometimes enough for you both.

It’s a little over midnight as he’s arriving to your house through Laredo’s heat in that rusty old truck he claims to hate, but that he can’t rid himself of. All he can hope to do is have a smoke, a conversation and maybe even a little taste of you, just a singular taste, then he can go to bed.

Except it’s never just one taste when it comes to you. And certainly not little.

It’s hard to explain. You’re… familiar, soft and comfortable. You understand, you reciprocate and you care. And it’s the best Javier could ever ask for.

He cares, too. Too much for his own good. So it’s far easier to conceal it underneath a thick cloud of nicotine and waves of liquor and carnal pleasure.

He parks a little further down the road so as to not stand out with that truck, and takes a deep breath. There is a faint light coming from your house, much to his relief. He wouldn’t want to wake you up just for his usual shenanigans. He isn’t sure what he’s expecting out of tonight or what he needs. He just needs to see you, to be with you, however that may be.

Usually confident with the opposite gender, you somehow render him speechless. A devilish trick, he likes to say and watch you chuckle with a je ne sais quoi that makes his heart tremble each time without fail.

Maybe he cares for you even more than he himself knows.

He musters the courage to knock on the door, pack of cigarettes already in his hand. He still plans to quit. Just… not tonight.

“Hi,” you greet him with a reassuring smile.

Javier releases a long breath, his gaze locked in a trance on you. Your hair is loose, combed and luscious as ever, and you’re wearing a silk robe that makes him swallow—hard. Unsurprisingly, the sight makes him a little hard, too, but he pushes it out of his mind. He hasn’t seen you in a few weeks by this point and it feels simultaneously like an eternity had passed and that it was like yesterday.

“Can I come in?” he asks.

One look in his chocolate, warm eyes that gape at you like a lost puppy and you are ready to surrender everything.

You make sure to close the door behind you, noticing that Javier steps aside to let you first. You diligently guide him to the living room, where you had been reading for the past hour, hoping to fall asleep.

Yet sleep eluded you, now more than before.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” you ask.

“Too fucking hot,” he says, already lighting his cigarette. “Too many… thoughts.”

“Was one of them me?”

“It always is.”

You smile at him and extend your own cigarette at him. “My lighter died,” you explain.

Sometimes you enjoy talking to Javier. There is plenty to be said and he is a remarkably smart man. But you have the feeling that right now, wrapped in the smell of nicotine, isn’t one of those times.

“You remembered to park closer to the trees, right?”

“Don’t worry,” he reassures you.

It’s not that either one of you cares about those folks commenting on your whereabouts, but you really didn’t need to be the town’s hot gossip, especially when Javier’s reputation had never been better.

“What’s keeping you up?”

Javier takes a long drag out of the cigarette before releasing the smoke and answering you.

“Life.”

“And I was worried you’d be vague.”

He looks out the window for a while, and you know not to push for more.

You know all the insignificant things about him that make up his puzzle-like persona: how he likes his coffee, his go-to breakfast, his favorite cigarettes and whiskey, as well as his favorite past times. But you also know the big, ugly truths: the heartbreak, the pain, the anger and the disappointment, the lost hope… you suppose you know him inside out.

But you could never say with certainty what he is. He’s merely a friendly face. You don’t dare think more. He’s there when you need him, and you are there when he needs you. That matters more than anything else.

“Everyone thinks I’m some sort of hero,” he says after a while.

“According to what I hear, you are.”

“Yeah, well, I feel like a fucking failure.”

You observe him quietly, steadily, like he’s your biggest and dirtiest secret. In a lot of ways, you suppose he is. Right now, you only see a disappointed man who is searching for a purpose, for more answers. He was always the kind of man who needed to know everything. He could never let things without definition.

Which is surprising considering that neither of you labeled this, what you were doing. Certainly more than friends with benefits if it were up to you, but who could say what was truly going on inside his head?

“You made it out of this town,” you remind him. “I call that a win.”

“I’m right back to square one.”

“Come on, don’t tell me you want to stay in this shithole forever.”

Javier chuckles softly, trying his hardest not to remark the way your robe is sliding up your leg and teasingly exposing your thigh to him in the golden, dim light.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “It’s a pretty bleak future ahead right now.”

“Have you been praying?”

You know the answer to this one, so the question is, technically, redundant. He’s never really been a believer, but he didn’t fight against it either. He sort of let the idea float in the air.

But there was a time in his life when he prayed. Day and night he desperately prayed for his mother, breaking your heart little by little. One day, Javier stopped simply wishing for good things. The day his mother was gone, he stopped. His hope began to fade away, but he never fully cast it away. He rather put it in the same box of old things he longed to forget about.

“For what?” he asks, slightly irritated by the notion and crushing his cigarette in the ashtray. “For justice? For a better tomorrow?”

You shrug. “Just because.”

Instead, Javier scowls. “Without any purpose, reason? ‘Just because’?”

“Not everything needs a reason, Javi.”

He doesn’t fight you on it. He simply looks at you, his eyes sneaking the occasional glance at your thigh, and gulps. His head is spinning, the room is much hotter all of a sudden.

“We need reasons to go on, don’t we?”

His voice is breaking in the slightest, and it makes your heart ache so.

“Some of the best things in life don’t have a reason behind them,” you try to reassure him.

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Do you think people fall in love for a reason?”

A tricky question, but Javier is smart, and deep down he knows why you ask.

“No,” he responds. “I think it just happens.”

“See? A lot of good things happen without reason.”

“Alright. No argument there.”

You hide your smile as you finish the last of your cigarette. Some of his Texan accent slips in and it charms you as it always does. You rise from the armchair, headed for the kitchen. Javier follows, his eyes hungry and darkened. You pretend you don’t notice for the sake of the game because you know where things are inevitably headed.

What you don’t know is how things will progress.

“Whiskey?” you offer, and he instantly nods.

It’s his favorite, and one of your personal favorites too. You know it warms him up and makes his blood boil in his veins to the point where he craves a way to release all the tension.

“Have you ever fallen in love?” he asks.

How bold of him, you chuckle to yourself. If you play the cards right, you could offer a smooth answer that might tickle his curiosity. Why give the best away?

But again, Javier is smart. As everything has a reason for him, this question has its intentions laid out before you as well, only concealed in a very innocent manner. Maybe he craves to hear something flattering, something that would soothe his nerves and erase his melancholy and inner conflict, but he isn’t sure how to go about it.

“Maybe,” you reply with a coy smile.

Javier chugs his whiskey, placing the glass on the counter and approaching you with the same hungry eyes.

“Thirsty, are we?”

Javier shrugs, moistening his lips. “You don’t know the half of it.”

The smile on your lips stays longer this time, paired with flattery and heat from the drink you also chug. With Javier, you always need a little preparation to keep yourself calm.

“Have you ever been in love, Javier?”

“Once or twice.”

“Better than most.”

He’s so close to your face now that his warm, whiskey and nicotine-infused breath is tickling your nose. You stare at him, waiting and pleading for more, an insatiable hunger nesting in your belly.

And the key to its ignition is right before you.

One of his large hands goes around your waist to pull you in, the feeling of skin on silk maddening enough. He looked you over from head to toe, slowly undressing you of your robe. He lets it slide down your shoulders and draws in a quick, sharp breath upon seeing your silky nightgown.

“You could easily kill me one day, cariño,” he whispers as if in disbelief.

There it is. That little pet name that burned your whole being by simply being spoken in his husky voice.

“Honey, I wouldn’t dream of that,” you reassure him and caress his stubbly cheek.

His lips are on yours in an instant, hands rubbing your sides tenderly. You feel the tension in the way he kisses you, how it resides in his whole body in spite of his efforts to seek relief. You sigh brokenly as his lips travel to your neck and he pushes you into the granite counter, spreading your legs to make room for him to grind in between them.

The throbbing in your cunt weeps and aches and you squirm in his strong arms, your hunger only increasing.

“Javi—“

He licks a spot on your neck that triggers a moan out of you and spurs him on. You need this as much as he does, and you figure whatever crisis he’s going through, you can at least provide some physical comfort to him.

He spreads your legs further and lifts your nightgown enough to expose your pretty pussy, and suddenly you throb even more.

“Commando, huh?” he teases. “Were you waiting for me, by any chance?”

“You know I always do.”

He lowers himself to pepper kisses on your inner thighs, working his way up to your pussy, giving a tentative lick from your overly sensitive bud all the way down. You moan and reach for his hair, tugging with desire.

“Javi—“

He starts working against your clit, a wet and rather loud pop of his lips on your soaked ones. You feel a smile breaking from his lips along with the faint tickle of his stubble and you smile in pure bliss already.

“Easy, cariño,” he tells you in between wet kisses. “I got you.”

You can only moan at this point, and then he starts to really eat you out.

With Javier, everything’s a mission; he leaves nothing to his broken faith, so he seeks to do what he knows he’s good at. Obscene slurps emerge from in between your legs, with Javier’s face utterly buried there. It was far better than whatever late night snack you might’ve planned to have, and the same could be said about Javier.

Fast paces breaths leave your throat as Javier’s tongue dips in and out of you, up and down and in any possible way he can think of. The sounds emerging from you work as a terrific stimulant for him, so he dares add a finger to his ministration, starting to stretch you out. You moan louder, much to his delight.

“You don’t want the whole town to hear us, do you, cariño?” he asks sweetly.

“I don’t care—I don’t care—oh, fuck—“

He adds a second finger, carefully stretching you out and listening to your sounds to make sure you’re okay. When he sees your head thrown backwards and feels your hand tugging his hair tighter, he smiles. Son of a bitch actually smiles, knowing he’s doing the right thing in getting you nice and wet for him.

He pumps his fingers in and out of you at a faster pace, growing harder with each passing second, but so desperate to feel you cum that he’s close to spilling himself in his jeans, like a pathetic fucking teenager.

“You’re doing so good, cariño,” he encourages you. “So good… do you want to cum on my fingers? Hm?”

“Yes—yes, please, I do—“

You’re running out of breath already as you’re moving your hips forward to meet with more of his head.

“Can you make it a good one for me?”

“Mhm—“

“Go on. Fuck yourself on my hand.”

You do just that; you rock your hips to the best of your abilities to meet his fingers pumping in and out of you for a few more seconds till you come with a muffled cry of his name, almost ripping his hair out from how hard you’re tugging.

Your whole body is flushed with his presence and the aftermath of that climax. Javier’s fingers leave your swollen cunt and, just as he meets your eyes, he takes them to his mouth and thoroughly sucks on them, his eyes never leaving yours.

“You taste so fucking good,” he tells you.

“Javi.”

“Yes?”

“Would you please fuck me already?”

He giggles, a childish, playful sound that brings happiness to you.

“If you ask so nicely,” he teases.

“You’re the one who came to me.”

“Guilty as charged.”

You bite your lower lip, getting down from the counter. One of the best things about sex with Javier is that, no matter how sweet and romantic or rough and needy, it always leaves you feeling dirty. The feeling lingered.

He unexpectedly picks you up and carries you to your bedroom, making sure to turn off the light on your way there. After all, you wouldn’t want anyone drawing the wrong conclusions if they saw that old truck parked there and a light inside the house.

Then again, hiding is one of your fortes.

The only light now is the moon breaking through the glass windows, and it’s more than enough. You fall underneath him on the bed, the slickness of your cunt growing to be almost uncomfortable. Your legs wrap around his waist on their own accord, making his mission of undressing more difficult. You feel him hard against your stomach and you shudder.

“You feel that?” he asks from the crook of your neck. “You feel—how hard you get me? Every—fucking time.”

“You know how to flatter your women.”

He lifts his head, a few stranded locks of hair bouncing from his forehead as he looks down on you. “There’s no women, plural. It’s only you.”

You hold your breath, begging your mouth and your heart to not accidentally spill something that might drive him away.

So you struggle to pull the nightgown over your head, but Javier stops you. Instead, he breaks from you only to remove his jeans and underwear. Looks like he’s going for practical and needy tonight.

He smells of alcohol and cigarettes and cologne, as per usual, but he also smells like… him. Your unspoken safe haven wrapped up in a musky, earthly scent.

Javier takes himself in hand, giving himself a few preparatory strokes under your studious eyes. He can tell you’re enjoying the show, maybe as much as he does, but it hurts to touch himself like this. It hurts when you’re right there, legs spread and your pretty pussy glistening for him, waiting.

Finally he guides himself to your entrance, his weeping tip barely touching your soaked lips, and he moans.

“Fuck,” he exhales. “Fuck, I could cum right now like this…”

“That’s fine.”

“N-No, I need—I need to feel you—from inside out.”

You both gasp as his cock pushes past your soaked lips, slowly filling you up to the brim, just the way you both liked it. One hand goes around his neck to pull him down for a hasty kiss as he gives a first thrust.

“Oh God,” you moan.

“He’s not here right now. Only me.”

“Only you.”

It’s your reassurance to him that, indeed, there is no one else for you. Come to think of it, you’re not sure there ever was anyone else. Your mind and body carry all of his touches, all of his kisses and warm breaths.

He starts moving, and it’s not rough or fast because of the lack of time. Not tonight. It’s intimate and passionate, but deep enough for you to feel every single thing. He’s throbbing wet right there inside of you, each sharp snap of his hips bringing you closer to nirvana. Your moans get mixed up, coming out as a singular shaky one. He’s kissing you messily as his hips fall apart into yours, your bodies rocking against one another.

You feel so full, so heavy and cared for that the burn in your lower belly arrives faster than you might’ve anticipated.

“J-Javi—Javi, I think I’m—“

“Yes—yes, that’s it. Cum all over me, that’s right—you’re doing so good, cariño.”

“Fuck, I’m so—close—“

“Cum on me, give it all to me… you got this, you’re so good—so fucking good and perfect—and warm—“

And mine.

But he doesn’t finish that thought out loud. He’s too afraid to say it, even after all that time, and even with you.

You’re both as loud as you can be by that point, and it doesn’t help that the window is open. But you can’t help it. There’s nothing in the world that could stop you from reaching that high.

You start to clench around him, and unbeknownst to you, Javier smiles like a madman. This is the best feeling in the world, being sheathed inside of you like he’s part of you. He starts to feel the thrill of his own climax fast approaching and he fucks into you faster. The only sounds are ragged breaths, the nearly violent slap of skin on skin and the endless stream of yes, yes, yes coming from you.

You cry his name when you cum, nails digging into his still clothed back as his cock twitches inside of you, shooting his burning hot seed as deep as he can. You gush hot and wet around him and so does he. It’s a concoction of bodily fluids, quick breaths and sweet nothings whispered to each other. Sweat breaks down the navel of his back, his neck and temples, and he feels like he’s about to explode.

How the fuck is he still half hard? What kind of witchcraft are you pulling on him?

He doesn’t pull out. He’s barely moving, but he stays there. He’s afraid to even leave you. What would he be without you? He’s not sure. But maybe he’s not that broken when he’s around you.

“Still not enough?” you ask cheekily.

Ever the insatiable man, Javier. He smiles kinda shyly, like he doesn’t want to ask for anything more.

“Then let me take care of you,” you propose when he fails to talk.

“No, I—want to be inside of you.”

“That’s… where you are.”

“Need more.”

“So take whatever you want.”

“Can I?”

You nod, and his tongue moistens his bottom lip. You sure knew your way around him. It always went back to just how well you got him, how much you knew every scar, every navel and ridge of his body, every quirk of his.

He pulls out, grabbing your hips with strength and care alike as he turns you around. He gives your ass a big squeeze, followed by a few playful slaps, and again you shudder. He always molds the skin of your body like it’s playdough, kneading it between his calloused fingers with ease.

You moan out loud when he starts fucking into you again, this time from behind. His thrusts are no longer controlled; you gave him full control so he takes exactly what you give him. He’s downright railing you, his hands holding onto your hips as he reaches to the deepest part of you. You moan and grunt, unable to form any coherent thoughts.

“So—fucking good – “Javier mutters. “Fucking—perfect.”

He’s chasing his own high, selfishly so, and there’s something terribly hot about that. Even more so considering that he had asked for your permission. It was a lethal mixture, really, the sweet side of him that not many got to see, and the insatiable man who went after what he wanted.

There’s not much else said; soon, Javier’s haste is rewarded when his climax hits again, unexpectedly prompting yours. Surprised, Javier snaps his hips as fast as he possibly can in order to help you both, knocking all the air out of your lungs—and his, subsequently.

“You like this? You like—feeling me get so—fucking hard for you, all the time… and fucking you like this?”

“Y-Yes, Javi—“

He slows down, his hands arching your body all the way up so he can pepper messy kisses on your face, his cock still twitching inside of you, barely settling down. Your cheek is a little salty on account of your ragged, happy cry from your third climax. You feel him everywhere, in your whole body.

Then you both lay there, underneath the moonlight, with your needs sated, your head on his chest. Your mind resumes its furious pacing, but you don’t give it full control.

“You’re the best thing I have, you know that?”

Javier’s confession comes out of the blue and it almost shocks you. Although in retrospect, it probably shouldn’t. It’s not like you don’t know you each feel strongly about the other. It’s just never been verbalized.

And perhaps that was for the best.

“You got your family,” you remind him. “And don’t say something about me being family too because that would soil what we just did.”

He chuckles, moving a little so he can take a better look at you. His thumb sweeps across your cheek, then his lips find it and press a chaste kiss on the same spot.

“I don’t know if I believe in any mightier deity, but when I’m with you… pretty sure this is heaven.”

You smile, somewhat melancholic yourself. “Don’t try to butter me up.”

“If anything, I’d try to either liquor you up or spread some melted chocolate on you.”

“Ah, but you forget we did that one time.”

“Oh, right. Vegas.”

You both chuckle, with Javier pulling you in closer, wrapping his arms around you. He can feel your heartbeat as you rest against him, fast still, and he smiles, kissing on your forehead.

He might’ve not been religious, but you must’ve been some sort of angel who looks out for him in the best way she can.

And right now, that’s enough.

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña x reader #Javier Peña x you #Javier Peña fanfiction #Javier Peña fic #Javier Peña smut #javier pena #javier pena x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fic #javier pena smut #javier pena x you #narcos fanfiction #narcos smut #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut

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your-fave-adopted-you · 2 years

Note

Hello!

First of all, I'm grateful to you for creating this blog and starting to share your creativity. The wonderful stories about NRC guardians are what we all needed.

I would also like to make a request. Guardians with a physically weak, but at the same time hardworking and obsessed with studying MC. Perhaps they were seriously ill and as a result, one day the MC loses consciousness right during the lesson.

Thank you for considering my request.

Yes. Excellent request anon. A very good way to start!

Guardian! School staff react to Mc passing out mid- lesson

characters : Dire Crowley, Divus Crewel, Mozus Trein, Ashton Vargas.

Gn pronouns were used.

CW: Crowley

Context : Mc is just a normal human in a world full of magic, monsters and stressful stuff in general(Crowley, for example) . With overblots and schoolwork [no one had previously prepared them for] around the corner, they are always giving their absolute best! even if sometimes is at cost of their own health.

One day, after pulling all nighters one day after the other for a whole week, their body finally gives up mid-lesson, an hour prior to a very important exam.

Dire Crowley

He got a call straight from the infirmary, apparently you were lying unconscious next to two worried classmates that insisted on being there until you woke up.

this man has never ever in his life rushed so fast to anyone's aid.

still there he is.

The school nurse approaches him and tells him you had a little temperature but you would be fine with rest.

he basically kicks out your classmates.

At first acts like you're in a coma.

after a while he calms down a little.

does NOT MOVE A MUSCLE until you do so.

fuck his work you're more important.

He kinda expected you to be fragile but didn't think you would overwork yourself to that point.

when you open your eyes you nearly pass out again from sheer fright.

this man was looking straight at you, not moving, not talking.

you weren't sure if he was breathing.

ofc the moment he notices your eyes are open he starts crying and screaming about how worried he was.

It's literally just been 5 minutes dude

lectures you about being so reckless.

also don't worry about that exam. you can take it tomorrow. Your health comes first.

Divus Crewel

He was giving a lecture about what kind of spells generated a bigger amount of blot than others when suddenly-

"THUD"

yeah it was your head falling against your desk.

"Sensei! i think they're dead."

Crewel was too stunned to speak.

calmly, he stops the lecture and tells the class president to keep an eye while he gets you to the infirmary.

Deep inside, he's panicking.

when you two get there, the nurse tells him that you already seem to have been ill for days but you seemingly didn't care and just kept on going.

He's PISSED because he didn't notice earlier.

stays there for a while and only leaves when he sees that you're fully conscious.

he will have someone watching over you in the meantime.

someone trustworthy, but not from your class (remember there's an exam next hour-) so, someone like Trey, Jamil, Jack, maybe Leona-

hear me out, Leona may not be the most responsible out of the four but he wasn't gonna do much in class either way.

Depends on what year your in, honestly.

Trein finally brings the exam sheets and when I tell you, Crewel SPRINTS out of the room.

how can someone move so fast while wearing all that-

He will scold the SHIT out of you for being so irresponsible with your health.

ofc you can do the exam next day, he already spoke to Mr.Trein about the issue.

"You are one stubborn pup did you know that?"

Mozus Trein

A very similar situation to Crewel's honestly.

once you hit your head against the desk and didn't respond, your classmates started to freak out.

Unfazed, he asks someone strong to carry you to the infirmary, and someone he knows will make sure you'll be okay.

he's quite calm.

when Crewel enters the class with the exam sheets, he excuses himself and goes immediately to the infirmary.

he brings the cat too.

when the nurse tells him what happened and in which condition you're currently in, he just nods attentively.

it doesn't matter if it takes you hours or just a couple minutes to feel better, he will be by your side.

he knew full well about your weak constitution, and that you were overworking yourself.

still, he didn't want to stop you, after all you were responsible for both your grades and your health.

don't take the wrong idea, he's MAD WORRIED

he also knows that won't solve anything.

the cat is laying on top of you, purring, trying to ease the pain in his own way.

you try to explain yourself but the old man just stays silent.

"You know, in my years of teaching, I've seen a couple of students who were just like you."

"reckless and stupid?" you ask.

"Too hardworking for their own good."

he pauses and takes a deep breath, his tone, unlike the others, is oddly gentle and comforting.

"You know better than anyone what's best for you."

"Well, seems like this time... i didn't." you reply.

"But you do know now, right?"

you nod.

you will take the exam next week, alongside those who have failed today.

it will give you time to recover and study just a little bit more.

You will be okay.

Ashton Vargas

It's never a good idea to ride a broom while sleep deprived and probably with a tiny fever.

everyone stops dead in their tracks when they hear someone has fallen to the ground.

Thank the great seven you weren't flying high.

still you got a good few scratches.

Everyone is PANICKING. you're facing THE GROUND and NOT MOVING.

Mr.Ashton sends everyone inside.

they can study in the meantime.

No more sports today, sorry, this shit is serious.

you come to your senses while he's carrying you. yep. you're so embarrassed you pretend to be unconscious a little more.

In the infirmary, the nurse tells your guardian that you don't have anything broken from the fall

but

you seem to have a fever that has only worsened since you got there.

He's so worried omg

you're a regular, non magical human.

you're fragile!!! even when he does his best training you and making sure you have the BEST diet!!

you seemed a little off today, yes, but he didn't know you were THAT exhausted!!

poor man.

waits by your side while the fever goes down, lets some worried classmates check how your doing, but doesn't let them stay for long.

oh shit right you had an exam today

don't worry, your super cool dad is here to save the day!

he just sends an email to Trein telling him what happened.

you will do the exam once you get out of the infirmary, you studied so hard, you would be pissed if all of this was for nothing.

oh! the fever is gone? thank god!

He thinks he had played it cool the whole time, but anyone can tell, the whole time he was looking at you like if you were about to break.

he wants to train you to be like iron, but no matter what, he can't help but see you as a piece of thin glass.

the moment the nurse checks you and says that you're good to go, you jump out of bed to go find Mr.Trein, leaving Ashton behind.

"...A diamond." he mutters to himself, while watching you leave the door.

#twst x mc #twst x reader #dire crowley #divus crewel #mozus trein #ashton vargas

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absolutebl · 2 years

Note

hi! i graduated from film school this year & i've been reading thru ur blog for weeks now. u've talked abt cinematography before & it's a subject i'd love to hear more of ur thoughts abt. which shows do u believe use cinematic storytelling (framing, staging, symbolic parallels, lighting, color coding) to their advantage the most? shows which benefit from a rewatch/slower watch in order to notice visual details & which can be analyzed in terms of visual language. which would be ur top picks? ty!!

OOO, what a good question.

10 Best Uses of Cinematic Storytelling in BL

Okay, I should say up front that this is not BL's strength.

Second, I work tangential to ET but my degrees are not in film studies. So, much of what I know has been gleaned from coworkers and just floating constantly in and out of the industry, I may not always use the right terms.

The post where I get the most weedy about filming technique is actually the one where I talk about different directors in BL (their styles, camera preferences and camera angle choices, that kind of thing).

BL Directors - Overview

Finally, for each pick, I’m going to talk first about what I liked about the story, and then how the filming technique is used to serve that.

1. Restart After Come Back Home AKA Risutato wa tadaima no ato de

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth your patience. Full review here.

This was the first BL that came to mind when asked this question. This movie highlights Japan’s sweeping atmospheric style (learned at the feet of Kurosawa) applied to a very simple little BL story about coming home. Like with HIs the move, the Japanese countryside itself is a major player and character, but unlike His this movie really makes use of its beauty as a metaphor for possibilities and acceptance. Some of the establishing shots are truly breathtaking. The use of color and shadow is also tailored without being brazen. The film uses it to contrast the the two leads, one of whom is closed off from his family and his home and, to a certain extent, life but open to love, and the other who is open to all sensation and the outside world, but closed off to love. How these two men are filmed, framed, and lit is interwoven with these traits - dependent on their internal emotional states and whether they are together or alone. Cold lighting, sometimes too direct, when they are feeling exposed or challenged, darker cool hues when they are internally reflective, warmer even angry reds and golds when they are coping with emotions around connection and intimacy with each other. And finally the closing shot of bright full day, revolving sparkles and lens flairs that’s implying a forthright acceptance and unity, not just of each other, but of themselves.

It is, simply put, a really beautiful movie to just watch as a visual piece of art, we are so lucky it also happens to be BL.

2. I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai

This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. It is very pretty and this is the kind of atmospheric elegantly performed BL that only really comes from Japan (complete with dead fish kisses - what you thought Korea invented them? oh no). I felt like I was “supposed to like it” more than I did. Ultimately I was left feeling as if I had seen it all before. So for me this was lovely but slightly unmemorable.

Another show that is VERY similar is His the series (I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love AKA His - Koisuru Tsumori Nante Nakatta). Only it has a beach setting.

I mention these two in this post and at this juncture, because they are very stylistically Japanese but lack intentionality to their filming. So they feel workmanlike in a way that I often accuse Thai BL of.. It’s almost as if in coming from Japan they can’t NOT be pretty about it. Like good filming technique is so expected, it’s part of the DNA. In actually, both these stories might have been served better if the filming were more gritty and raw, sticky, like BLs from Taiwan or the Philippines, but Japan (like Korea) doesn’t do that.

3. Seven Days

Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some cute mutual kisses.

Seven Days pretty much used the original manga as a storyboard with just a few exceptions. And yet because it takes itself and it’s characters seriously (this in not a slapstick JBL) it’s softer and less cartoony than most Japanese live action yaoi. The color pallet is muted, and staging and farming is almsot too simplistic but somehow smooth and organic, rather than choppy or stilted. It looks genuine, not fantastical (see Korea coming up). The cuts are gentle with us, it never feels hurried or rushed, even though this is not a very long piece. It’s classy without being in your face about it.

This is spot on cinematography entirely subsumed by a story. It’s point (if ti can be said to have one) is that it doesn’t have a point of view, and therefore the story just shines. Never once will you feel thrown out by a perfect shot, and yet, every shot is perfect. This is cinema FOR story. This director trusted the script and the actors implicitly and did not feel the need to do anything fancy, which is, in and of itself, remarkable. This is like a perfectly executed piece of sushi. It doesn’t need anything, no sauce, no seasoning. The filming itself relishes its own simplistically.

I actually picked these first 3 BLs intentionally, and all from Japan. Because I feel like they kind of show the range of Japanese cinema has when it is being subtle. By which I mean less derivative of manga and owing much less slapstick. (See something like My Love Mix Up.)

So now let’s move into the relm of manga filming styles.

4. Minato’s Laundromat AKA Minato Shouji Koin Randorii

As of writing this post this show hasn’t ended yet, so not review, you can read my watch along here. But I am still picking it on the basis of the way they use doorways and transitional spaces to represent where the characters are in their different life stages and emotional development (and how they flipped that at the end).

Also this BL is cribbed directly from the manga, shot for shot in places.

This show is an exploration of how maturity is defined under the contest of an age gap romance, roles in society, and liminality - crossing the threshold form child to adult, from fear of love to acceptance, from immaturity to maturity. The series uses characters in doorway, reaching through them, crossing them, and notions of inside spaces versus outside spaces to represent this. I talk about it a lot in my watch along so I won’t rehash here but it is actually BRILLIANT.

5. Old Fashion Cupcake

This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (who is ten years older and going through a midlife crisis) who decides to save and seduce said boss with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. Full review here.

The filming style is very much Japan’s close camera work, super tunneled into spaces, confined and almost, but not quite, claustrophobic. It’s using that to highlight how trapped by inertia Nozue feels, and how trapped by his feelings Togawa feels. Nozue in particular is filmed at home hidden, hiding, in the dark, shadowed, and withdrawn - as tidy as his place is, it (and how he occupies it) is an extension of his loneliness and self isolation.

The cinematographer is using that in contrast to the moments of pull back and central framing when the couple is shown sitting and eating together, usually brightly lit, showing them both opening up to each other and, in Nozue’s case, to sensation.

The very final shot of the series, with the big cheerful window, and Togawa feeding Nozue across the table is a representation of how freed they both are by their acceptance of each other.

Not to mention the way the food is shot in this show, and how food and openness to new sensation are used (and filmed) as an allegory for sexual awakening (lust in terms of indulgence - I will never get over those hamster cheeks) and consequently (ultimately) fulfillment.