#only about 7 squirrels though

[brokenstar28]

Robin

My sister: Did you see how many robins and squirrels there are?

Me: There are five Robins, six if you include the starfish.

My sister: ...I meant in the yard...

Me: And there is Squirrel Girl!

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

things that remind me of the nerdy prudes

(because like two people reblogged this one i did forever ago for the losers and i forgot how fun these are)

grace:

getting veggie tales songs stuck in your head as an adult, knee socks, eating all your broccoli, sparkly butterfly clips, watching sunlight glint off a lake through the treeline, guinea pigs, friendship bracelets off a water bottle, being secretly glad when someone you don’t like turns out to be a bad person, a bunch of cellophane candy wrappers crinkling at the bottom of your purse, being a little too into archery at summer camp, pastel bible highlighters, banana pancakes, tying way too many ribbons around the advent wreath, leggings under dresses, daydreaming about how you’d escape if you ever got kidnapped, strawberry ice cream, roller skating with almost too much protective gear on, cloud gazing, obvious family secrets that everyone refuses to tell you, feeling weirdly guilty for ordering your steak rare, bringing too many swaps to girl scout camp so you can trade with everyone, asking a new friend for their email address, long denim skirts

steph:

really dry liquid lipstick you bought in your freshman year of high school but refuse to throw out, 24 hour diners, typing in all lowercase but never actually changing the setting in your phone, listening to music you hate but gaslighting yourself until you enjoy it, really dark purple nail polish that looks black, collecting crystals even though you don’t really believe in them, saying your team bella (but secretly being team jacob), getting mad your vape was confiscated at your high school graduation, one million rings, coffee ice cream, tinfoil in a microwave, exclusively wearing sports bras, shoplifting, pink monster, thinking cigarettes are really hot, never wearing a jacket even if your cold, penny boarding, drinking four loko, regretting four loko, refusing to put your hair up even when you really should, kuromi, half fallen down led lights, playing your mom’s old guitar, sour skittles

pete:

planetariums, being overly competitive at board games, ginger ale, using a chapstick until it runs out, really liking marshmallows, really liking hot chocolate, hating marshmallows in your hot chocolate, buying a bunch of cool notebooks and never using them, forever dm, pretending you didn’t find asdf movies as funny as you actually did, m&ms, freezing cold hands, hand-me-down sweaters, only ordering chicken fingers and french fries, being intrinsically trusted by cats, carrying a clarinet to school every day, skipping episodes of next gen if they don’t feature data, praying on the first day of school that your teachers didn’t have your older sibling, transition glasses lenses (that you absolutely regret), dry krave cereal, secretly finding most museums really boring, grow-your-own-geode science kits, wing tip tap shoes, messenger bags, only doing extracurriculars that look good on college applications

ruth:

your comfort gay newsies fanfiction from middle school, being jealous of your younger sibling, those phone cases with glitter and charms floating in water, team edward and team jacob, wishing you hadn’t quit dance, buying fun jewelry and never wearing it, being devastated your hair is too dark to dip dye in kool aid, sticky lip gloss, painting every nail a different color, self sabotage, crushed velvet scrunchies, the grease soundtrack, wanting to be a rockette when you grew up, never learning how to do make up, begging to do figure skating as a kid, begging to do beauty pageants as a kid, begging to do cheerleading as a kid, turquoise braces bands, sinclair gas stations, showing up to an audition that you didn’t realize had a dance call, dunkin’ donuts munchkins, squirrel girl comic books, one half of a best friend necklace you wore longer than you should have

richie:

trying to get the marble out of a ramune bottle, wearing big headphones 24/7 (even if they aren’t playing anything), staining your best friend’s bathtub blue with hair dye, sour patch kids, enamel pins, discord calls across like three different time zones, the charlie bone book series, getting in trouble for drawing in class, being the friend with a car but also being a terrible driver, a pokémon card binder, that one kid who was really, really good at cup stacking, wearing shorts in the middle of winter, thirty-nine minute long voice memos, being exceptional at claw machines, vocaloid songs, your pet parakeet hanging out on top of your head, that one vaguely traumatizing round of the pocky game from seventh grade, regularly broken duolingo streaks, getting in trouble for bringing a real katana to your freshman year halloween dance

[atierrorian]

The Aroma of a True Delicacy

PARING: Lilia Vanrouge x reader Synopsis: You'll be the one cooking from now on. Warning: Lilia's cooking, chaotic shit going on at the end. Note: Silver is only a child, [Name] is implied female.

◈━◈━◈━◈◈━◈━◈━◈━◈◈━◈━◈━◈━◈◈━◈

You love Lilia, truly. He and Silver are the best thing that has ever happened to you and you would never trade them for the world. But there is one thing you would trade, however…

You would gladly trade Lilia's cooking skills.

As much as you love Lilia, his foods are not exactly edible… If anything, he probably used it once on one of the poor victims he captured when he was still a Veteran War General. Dying was a much better option than having to eat what Lilia had in store for them…

He even managed to burn water once, WATER! How does one burn water??

You shuddered, thinking of that one time when you tried to teach Lilia how to do the basics of cooking. It failed miserably and it ended up in a disaster where it took you hours to clean up. Never again. You've learned your lesson and it's that teaching Lilia is futile.

And giving spices to Lilia has major consequences. It never ends well for any individual nearby.

So that's why, you'll be the one cooking from now on! Even though you probably should have from the beginning - I guess you just wanted to see Lilia make some progress. But it really doesn't look like he'll be making any time soon. You already told Silver that you'll be the one making breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And safe to say, he was glad, really, really glad. As much as he loves his Father, his cooking is on a whole new level of poison.

It would probably even rival that of the Evil Queen's renowned poisonous apple.

So, when morning rolled over, you woke up earlier than Lilia, got out of his hold on you, and quickly headed to the kitchen. Silver was still fast asleep and you had all the time in the world to prepare a meal. But first, you needed to clean the kitchen because damn was it a mess.

But it wasn't something you couldn't handle. So with a determined smile, you quickly got to cleaning.

.

.

.

And with a final wipe on the counter, you were finally done with cleaning and you stood proud of your work. a few small beaded sweats came down on your face- but you quickly wiped it off and decided to wash your face and hands before cooking. Hygiene is after all important.

You looked at the time; 6:50.

"Whew, I should really start now" You muttered and grabbed your apron and tied it around your waist.

You decided to make a simple yet tasty pancakes with strawberries and blueberries as the toppings with sweet glaze honey syrup and some whipped cream on the side. And to top it all off with some sugar. When you were finished, the aroma of the pancakes was radiating off the kitchen- it could be smelled from outside the kitchen even.

You made three in total, one for you, one for Lilia, and one for Silver.

When you checked the time again, it was now 7:10, just in time.

You took off the apron and hung it back on the hook. You grabbed three glasses and set them on the table. You have never been so proud of your cooking until now. You heard footsteps coming to the kitchen and saw Silver with his stuffed squirrel standing by the double door frame; looking sleepy as ever.

"Mom… what is that tasty smell…" Silver yawned and walked to the table and sat on one of the chairs. I ruffled his silver hair. Silver groaned and pouted. I chuckled at his reaction before sitting beside him.

"Well, breakfast dear. I had to wake up early for this you know? Plus, I did say I would be the one cooking from now on…" Silver excitedly nodded. And with a smile, he placed the stuffed squirrel onto his lap and took the fork.

"Oh? Someone is a little excited" You chuckled before reminding him to go wash his hands first; he nodded and got up before running to the sink to wash his hands. Such a cute little kid.

You were about to eat pancakes that were on the fork before you felt something heavy on your head and a pair of arms that found themselves on your waist. But even then, you ate the piece of pancake before setting down the fork and looking up.

"Hm? How rude of my dear wife to not wake me up for breakfast…" Lilia dramatically sighed. You rolled your eyes at him.

"I'd figured you'd be awake by this time" Lilia took a seat next to you and looked at the pancakes before looking at you.

"Your meals are always so delicious [Name]! I expect nothing less from my beloved wife!" Lilia exclaimed proudly. His bold comment made you flustered and you nodded.

Silver came back with clean hands and sat back on his chair. Silver looked at his parents and wondered why his Mother's face was so red.

"Mama, do you have a fever?"

Lilia laughed whilst you felt even more embarrassed.

"N-no, Silver… Just a bit embarrassed is all…" Silver nodded before picking up the fork again and taking a piece of the pancake.

"By the way Lilia, I'll be the one cooking from now on"

"Aw, but I enjoy cooking :("

"I know but, your cooking is a health hazard"

"Finee…"

You both laughed while Silver looked confused and probably thought the two of you were crazy and just continued eating.

THE END

BONUS:

"AHHHH, LILIA!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? WHY ARE YOU COOKING IN THE DIASOMNIA DORM?? I THOUGHT WE AGREED YOU WOULDN'T COOK ANYMORE!!"

"Aw but [Name]! I feel like I've really improved!"

"The kitchen is on fire"

Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[helpimstuckposting]

The Category System in TMA

I want to preface by saying this isn’t my theory but I cannot for the life of me find the original post, if anyone knows what post I’m talking about please PLEASE tell me, it’s driving me insane

The theory I saw (a while ago, maybe around episode 10?) proposed that categories 1, 2, and 3 all represent nouns. Person (1), Place (2), and Thing (3)

I’m genuinely shocked this hasn’t gained more traction because I’ve yet to disprove this and every single episode just keeps working with this theory, so I wanted to list out every episode as further proof

Episode 1

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]

CAT23RAB2155-10042022-09012024 Transformation (eyes) -/- Trespass [chat log]

Cat1 (person) - reanimated corpse, though I think the focus is more about the person they paid to bring their husband back, which implies there some mystery guy out there with this ability

Cat23 (place, thing) - the magnus institute, and the box with runes that red canary stole

Episode 2

CAT3RBC1567-23092022-18012024 Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]

Cat3 (thing) - the tattoo from ink5oul is the main focus, though other ink5oul episodes are focused on them and use cat1 (which has confused people, but this theory explains that imo)

Episode 3

CAT2C8175-03042009-22012024 Infection (full body) -/- arboreal [journal entry]

Cat2 (place) - the garden is what started changing the man making the statement (also seemed to exist as its own entity outside the regular flow of time)

Episode 4

CAT3C7494-19111831-29012024 Collection (blood) -/- musical [letter]

Cat3 (thing) - the violin (the power of the violin still remains even if the object itself changes hands, which means the power lies with the violin and not the people controlling it)

Episode 5

CAT2RB2377-10012023-05022024 Disappearance (undetermined) -/- Invitation [internet blog]

Cat2 (place) - the movie theater (or wherever the movie itself is being played, I assume the statement giver did not make it out of that location)

Episode 6

CAT1RB4824-09022024-12022024 Injury (needles) -/- intimidation [999 call]

Cat1 (person) - Needles

Episode 7

CAT2RC3338-03022016-12022024 Agglomeration (miscellany) -/- congregation [email]

Cat2 (place) - Hilltop Center, Oxford (By episode 20, Oxford has been mentioned multiple times, which is why I think the location is significant here)

Episode 8

CAT2RBC3366-12072023-28022024 Architecture (liminal) -/- hunger [coursework]

Cat2 (place) - the liminal space of Forton Service Station

Episode 9

CAT3RB3354-14101998-08032024 Dice (bone) --/-- fate [Magnus Statement]

Cat3 (thing) - the dice (again, the power of the dice remains the same, even when the dice themselves change hands)

Episode 10

CAT1RB2275-06082021-09032024 Mascot (kids) -/- murder [TV interview]

Cat1 (person) - Mr Bonzo, Nigel Dickerson

Episode 11

CAT23RC5246-06012020-11032024 Tattoo (corpse) -/- compulsion [email exchange]

Cat23 (place, thing) - Padstow civil cemetery, tattoo (the reason I believe this isn't a Cat1 despite it being ink5oul is because we know from episode 20 that the tattoos themselves had special powers, regardless of ink5oul and that ink5oul only started getting their powers after they continuously used the pre-existing designs - this is new information that imo further confirms this theory rather than debunking it)

Episode 12

CAT1RB4728-09032024-13032024 Mascot (kids) -/- frenzy [insurance claim]

Cat1 (person) - Mr Bonzo

Episode 13

CAT3RB4622-17092023-14032024 Gambling (application) -/- self-destruction [voicemail]

Cat3 (thing) - the Zorrotrade investment app

Episode 14

CAT1RB4426-01081995-15032024 Transformation (snake) -/- horde

Cat1 (person) - shop keeper that burst into snakes (the investigator describes no other infestation, and only mentions one hole and one possible squirrel, while the shopkeeper causes all other chaos. We also know that the shopkeeper was being considered by the Magnus Institute before being rejected, like Sam, making this shopkeeper a relatively important person)

Episode 15

CAT1RB6451-22062023-22032024 Hunt (aristocratic) -/- compulsion

Cat1 (person) - Lady Mowbray

Episode 16

CAT1RB1565-30102023-25032024 Tattoo (influencer) -/- cardiac

Cat1 (person) - ink5oul (this one was specifically about ink5oul, rather than the main focus being the tattoo itself)

Episode 17

CAT2RC1147-30111997-04042024 Doppelganger (interdimensional) -/- murder

Cat2 (place) - this one people keep focusing on categorizing the doppelganger, but I think the key focus of the episode is actually the Magnus Institute – Oxford Outreach Centre (another instance of Oxford, another connection to Ep7)

Episode 18

CAT1RC2374-20032024-10042024 Memory (derelict) -/- compulsion

Cat1 (person) - Violet Parker, talking corpse; [ERROR]

Episode 19

CAT13RBC1137-21031684-11042024 Transformation (canine) -/- growth (Crystalline)

Cat13 (person, thing) - Isaac Newton, Diana’s Tree

Episode 20

CAT1RAB2534-12042024-12042024 Transformation (tattoo) -/- Social Media (influencer)

Cat1 (person) - ink5oul (very clearly, this episode is about ink5oul and not about any of their tattoos, though they were in the middle of tattooing a corpse. I think the tattoo is irrelevant to this incident, which is why it's only a 1 and not a 13)

Episode 21

CAT2RBC4254-04011998-12042024 Architecture (landmark) -/- corruption (entropy)

Cat2 (place) - Millennium Dome (also happens to be The Magnus Institute, but I think the main focus is obviously the dome)

I think the *only* one that could be argued as not really fitting is MAGP5 - since you could argue the movie is a thing, and it’s not really the theater as the place, but compared to the odds of other theories that have way more holes this one is so spot on imo

This is the theory I’ve been comparing the categories to every single episode and I haven’t found anything to significantly disprove it, so I just wanted to highlight it one more time in case others haven’t seen it!

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 7/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011

2012 – Jake

              He’s been watching it, staring at it, and he knows Nick is older than him, but he wonders if it changes anything. Well, it definitely changes one thing, and that’s the fact he can say he’s gay and not immediately get dishonorably discharged. He didn’t expect for that to feel like such a weight lifted from him, but it is. However he doesn’t suddenly feel okay with saying or doing anything different. The law was changed quickly and it could change back just as quickly. The one person he can talk about it with is currently incommunicado, and he hates knowing exactly where in the world Nick is, and knowing that Nick has been in hospital for three weeks with a concussion, and is now somewhere doing something. Secret Squirrel. He knows better than to ask.

              Doesn’t mean he likes it.

              Too many weeks pass without hearing from him, and he doesn’t hear from Nick’s friend either, has to trust that he’s still alive and well. And if he isn’t, then his friend will let him know as soon as possible. He tries to ignore the thoughts that something could have happened to both of them. Just like something could happen to him and Javy. He lies in bed and wonders if he needs another backup plan, one that is more foolproof and doesn’t involve anyone that has a high-risk career in the military. He’s been opening and closing Grindr compulsively, has even turned the notifications back on, desperate to know as soon as Nick answers.

>>Do you kind of feel it could be snatched away as quickly as they gave it?

>>What?

>>The DADT repeal.

>>Oh.

>>Shit. Yeah. I kind of forgot about it with the whole hospital visit.

>>Well, don’t think it’ll be going backwards anytime soon. They won’t turn away able bodied people. Finally moving with the times.

>>I’m more curious about the people higher up who have been serving for decades and hiding.

>>Why would they care?

>>Hiding their entire lives? That’s rough.

>>Huh.

>>Yeah. I guess it would be.

>>You served under DADT. Surely you felt that pressure?

>>Yeah. You made it okay though. Made it bearable.

>>I’m glad I could do that for you.

>>So am I.

>>Do you think you’ll ever come out?

>>Like, just be out and gay and in the military?

>>Yeah. Eventually? I’m kind of focused on my career more than anything right now. It’s not like I’m going to run off and find a woman and get two and a half kids any time soon. When I have someone. When we meet. Then I’ll consider it.

>>Yeah. Same.

>>This way of life is hard. Even with the repeal it’s not like everyone’s attitudes are magically fixed. They’ll find something else to pin on people they don’t like, or people they feel don’t fit the type of Navy they envision.

>>Got to play it safe still.

              Jake stares at the words.

              Navy.

              Nick is in the Navy.

              It’s the first time he’s slipped up with some type of fact that significant, one that Jake could actually potentially use to try and find him. Apart from the fact that there are thousands of people in the Navy. Not that he needs to find him, not really. They’re already trying to meet up. It makes him feel even closer to him though, like when Nick had first admitted he was also military and Jake had felt the ties between them tighten a little, shared life experiences; although Nick’s always seemed more at ease with being gay than Jake has ever felt.

>>I refer to you as my boyfriend you know?

>>Only to two people.

>>But still.

>>You sure you don’t want my name?

>>I’m sure.

>>I don’t need to know your name to know how I feel about you.

>>I want you to tell me your name when we meet face to face the first time.

>>Sounds corny, but I just feel like that would be a cool moment to have.

>>Same with our faces.

>>Like a grand unveiling?

>>A bride walking down the aisle?

>>Fuck off. Stop being a dick.

>>I’m never telling you my name now.

>>You can call me Nick forever.

>>Dick even.

>>I’ll keep my face completely covered.

>>Would make sucking my dick kind of awkward.

>>I’d make you wear a blindfold.

>>Tie your hands so you couldn’t take it off.

>>Okay, the idea of that is totally turning me on. We have to try that some time.

>>Sooner rather than later.

>>What’s your schedule like?

>>I have the entire month of July to play with.

>>I can make that work.

>>Okay.

>>Let’s do this.

…           …           …

              “Are you fucking kidding me!”

              “What?” Javy asks.

              “I got new orders. I’m shipping out to Afghanistan in June. They’re cutting this deployment short, giving me my four weeks leave now, and then I’m in Afghanistan for five months. This is bullshit.”

              “Uh. Any particular reason why you’re this angry?”

              “That guy I told you about? Nick?”

              “Yeah, you ‘ve mentioned him once or twice, a day, for the past year…”

              “Fuck off. I have not. Anyway, we were going to meet up last year, in November. But then he got deployed to fucking Afghanistan. So we were like, okay, fine, reschedule, to July. And now I’m being deployed toAfghanistan.”

              “What did you do to piss off the universe?”

              “Ugh. Shut up. It does feel like the world is plotting against us.”

…           …           …

>>Okay. So you’re stateside again in October right?

>>Yeah.

>>Third time lucky?

…           …           …

              It is not third time lucky.

              But neither it is a deployment.

              Sandy hits with the force of a planet scorned and Jake is helpless to do anything but hold on. It’s chaos and he turns up to volunteer, needing to do something to help. All flights are cancelled, so it’s not like he can go anywhere. He’s put to work, and when it becomes apparent he’s trained military he’s put into a more formal role of helping coordinate other volunteers into working parties. Thousands of people need to be evacuated, then a hospital’s backup generator goes and he’s strong and able-bodied, put to work again with emergency services.

              Amongst it all internet service is spotty at best, and he tries to save the power on his phone but it goes dead, unable to be charged with the lack of electricity. He knows it’s only going to be a matter of days before everything returns to a different level of normality but he’s also aware that Nick will be wondering about him. He gets to charge his phone, hovering over it until it’s got enough charge so he can turn it on. He gets reception and then his phone is flooded with notifications and he’s glad no-one is around to hear the constant sounds.

>>Tell me you are safe.

>>Jesus Jas.

>>I know you’re meant to be in New York right now.

>>Please tell me you’re okay.

>>God.

>>You might not even have access to wifi or internet.

>>Fuck.

>>I hate this.

>>Please contact me as soon as you can.

>>I love you.

              There are dozens more, then there are rambling paragraphs of text detailing his thoughts on whatever he’s watching on television, followed by his thoughts on what the news is reporting about Sandy and then it circles back to hoping that Jake is okay.

>>I’m safe.

>>I’m sorry, my phone died and no electricity to charge it. There were emergency charge points set up, but I was kind of busy. I’ve been volunteering.

>>Of course you have. You’re wonderful.

>>Like you wouldn’t do the exact same thing in my place.

>>I go where I’m needed. I’d have been there in a heartbeat if I could.

>>New York is really not a great vacation destination right now.

>>Wouldn’t matter. I’d get to see you.

              Jake bites his bottom lip as he grins at his phone, happiness fluttering in his gut.

>>We knew this was only going to be a week, do kind of feel like I’m dealing with bad karma from a previous life or something though.

>>Fourth time lucky?

>>And I know this might be weird, but with DADT gone I was thinking we could switch to another messenger app. I don’t mind using Grindr for hooking up.

>>But I’m not hooking up with you.

>>You want to separate me from your bad-sex experiences and low quality encounters and put me in my own special folder huh?

>>You’re a secret romantic. Admit it.

>>God you’re a dick.

>>You’re the one who just said he’d be here with me in a heartbeat.

>>I could just delete the app and disappear forever.

>>We both know you wouldn’t do that.

>>You’d miss me too much.

>>I’d miss you.

>>And somehow I’m the romantic?

>>I’ll have a look and see if there’s something else that can be just for us okay?

>>Okay.

2013

[lambiewrites]

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Camping w/ Saw Characters

Characters included: John Kramer, Amanda Young, Mark Hoffman, Lawrence Gordon, Adam Stanheight. Plus, me and Y/N (because I said so)

Warnings: none, except mentions of smoking, getting hurt?? Idk

Notes: Reader is gender neutral and everything is platonic. Even our relationships with each character (unless otherwise stated in other fics I may write)

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John Kramer: I personally feel like John really enjoys the outdoors and seeing as though we see him chilling on a park bench, sketching his traps 24/7, I feel like he’d really enjoy it. Loves the peacefulness except when everyone (Amanda and Mark) are fighting. Definitely fishing at 7am. Struggling because he may or may not have to sleep on the ground. We definitely bought peepaw as many blankets and sleeping bags as possible. He gets cold so easily, bless his heart. Wants to enjoy the hiking trails but, can’t because he’s either in his wheelchair at this point or it’s just a struggle for him in general. (Mad at me because I complained about my knee the entire time even though I’m perfectly fine.) definitely giving Y/N a lesson on the outdoors.

Lawerence Gordon: Didn’t really want to come but he was sorta forced to. Definitely the group’s medic. Lecturing everyone on where they should and shouldn’t step. Pissed because Adam keeps smoking even in the non smoking areas like the woods where there’s been really bad wildfires. Adam does not care though. Dr.Gordon helped pitch everyone’s tent and tried to tell me and Y/N how we could easily pitch our tents but we didn’t listen. He actively carries the first aid kit literally everywhere. This man also had to pull me out of the fishing creek because I slipped on some rocks and nearly fell in. (He and Adam are sharing a tent shhhh ❤️)

Amanda Young: A little less than thrilled to be here. It’s cold and wet. Plus she had better things to do. Constantly at John’s side making sure he’s not too cold and that he’s enjoying himself. Pitched her own tent and probably is sleeping in it by herself unless Y/N wants to share it. Stays up all night worrying about peepaw and maybe other campers (or bears) Definitely one to tell the darkest, scariest, goriest story at the campfire. Is she fighting with Mark the entire time? Oh yeah probably. Is she yelling at me the entire time? Yes. Is Y/N telling her about their nature knowledge (if that’s your hyperfixations) Yes. Amanda definitely wants to go home but she’s sticking it out for peepaw.

Mark Hoffman: (My favorite camping headcannon to write lmao) Complaining about pitching the tents because no one else can apparently. Honestly would rather die than be out here but, he’s making the most of it. Yes, we do have his ass grilling, why wouldn’t we? It’s his job now. Did we make him make the fire? We did actually. Watched me fall off the rocks and into the creek and did not care. Thought it was funny, wished I had drown. Y/N is the only one who he isn’t mad at (congratulations!). Yet. Secretly enjoys the camping but won’t say anything about it. Probably sleeping in a tent by himself. (Maybe Y/N is sharing it with him?) I have decided that this man physically cannot stand me and that’s okay.

Adam Stanheight: This man has been chain smoking since we got here. Obviously taking as many pictures as he physically can. OF EVERYTHING!!! Tried to help Lawerence set up the tent but got bored. Almost started a forest fire but felt instantly bad. Definitely got a lecture from it. Sits at the fire and makes s’mores. Watched me burn myself trying to roast marshmallows and laughed at me (I deserved it, trust me). Loves the outdoors actually and he’s thrilled to be there. Like a little squirrel running around with his camera ❤️😭✌🏻 Y/N is forcing him to take cute little selfies of them with trees and mountains. We’re hanging up the Polaroids all over the place. We’re gonna look so aesthetic, trust me xoxo

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Notes: This was quickly made and probably shitty but, just bare with me lol this is my first one and I love it. I think it’s funny. A lot of this was pulled from my actual camping trip at the beginning of the month. I hope y’all enjoyed and feel free to request stuff! I love you guys!

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[liaarxse]

could u headcannons of what the tr characters would do if y/n did this trend with ken, nahoya, chifuyy, baji, kazutora?

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8131oTm/

(basically y/n walks away from them whenever they get close)

Nah, cuz it's 2am, and I'm cackling like a madman omfg this is amazing

<3 Here you go, anon:

Headcanons

How would TR characters react to you moving away from them

Characters: Ryuguji Ken, Nahoya Kawata, Matsuno Chifuyu, Keisuke Baji, Kazutora Hanemiya

Warnings: none

A/n: I literally have 40 history lessons to revise in 2 days, and I've gotten nowhere

Ryuguji Ken

Not this shit again

Draken is tired of your games

He had to deal with Toman, some punks, MIKEY and now you?

Kill him

Oops already happened

But he did this to himself

A few days ago he "accidentally" ruined one of your favourite dresses with motor oil and only said sorry

So sorry not sorry Dora

"Hey, Y/n? Want a glass of water?"

"Sure."

Perfect timing

He walked towards you to give you the water

You walked away

....

He took 3 steps forward

You took 3 steps backwards

Again

3 steps forward

3 steps backwards

You made 5 full circles around the couch at this point

"Not this shit again"

He went to sit down because man's tired of this

You felt bad and went to him

He turned to you before he sat down

"What?"

"Sorry, c'mere"

He went to hug you

You took a step back

BITCH

LMAOOOOO

Give him a hug pls

You did ofc

Until you could

I'm not sorry

Y'all spent the night just cuddling and talking about how annoying(ly hot) Mikey is

The next morning you did the prank again

He went back to sleep (and never woke up)

Nahoya Kawata

Who made you do this?

You lost your marbles?

LAST PERSON to do this prank on

But you still did

Stupid

Y'all were just chilling at a park

The sun was setting, giving the landscape a pretty peachy-golden tint

It reminded you of your boyfriend who was chasing squirrels behind you

Yeah, you pretended not to know him

He got tired and went to sit next to you

"What'cha starring at, babe?"

"The sun?"

"Ok"

He left to chase a squirrel that he claimed to look like you

Back to not knowing that person

It was getting pretty late, so you gathered y'alls stuff and got up to leave

He was carrying a dead squirrel in his hands

"Babe, look! I caught your doppelganger!"

"Oh, that's nice baby– MOTHER OF GOD–"

You didn't have a choice that fucker started chasing you with it

He lied that he threw it away

He didn't

Half way towards your house he fished it out of his pocket and shoved it in your face

You screamed and took like a fucking backflip backwards

He slowly walked towards you with his iconic grin obv

"Nahoya, no."

"Nahoya, yes."

"I'm gonna break up with you."

"I'll shove this up your ass while you sleep."

Y'all didn't break up ofc

That continued up until like 3 blocks to your house before he threw it inside a house through an opened window

The night at least ended peacefully

You had a nightmare where he did shove it in your ass

Matsuno Chifuyu

Why?

Like why?

Just why?

This happened while you were at a Toman fight

You got a call from Hina that your boyfriend got hurt

So you skiddadled to the place very quickly since you lived like 7 minutes away

It took you 30

When you got there, the fight had already ended

Your boyfriend noticed you and ran with an opened arm since his other was a tad bit injured

You took a step back

🤨

"Hey babe."

"Why did you do that?"

"Did what?"

He took another step towards you

You took a step backwards

He frowned

"Is it because my uniform is blooded? Wait, gimme a sec"

He took his top off

OOOOOHHH LAWDDDD HAVE MERCEYYYYYYYYY

THEM SCRUMPTIOUS ABS

bite bite

Lmao, who were you kidding

Get em tits

And you did baby gorl

Don't do this to him again though

Keisuke Baji

He just got back

And guess what

Another stray kitty was brought home

You lost count of how many Baji Jr. and Y/n Jr. cats you had

You smiled anyway since it's a kitty after all

"Yo bae, can you please fetch me some kitty clothes to dress up Y/n Jr.?

Ah this time it was you turn

You did of course

And when he walked over to you to grab the clothes

You saw something jump

Then again

And it hit you

Flees

You threw the clothes in his face and ran back

"What the hell?"

"Stay back."

"Why?"

He started walking towards you

You screamed

He was confused af still walking towards you

And you were walking back

This continued for like 7 minutes before you entered the kitchen

You grabbed bug spray

And sprayed him with it

He died

Jkjkjk

He was mad though

Ah, it's fine. You took care of it and cuddled with all 61 cats

Then you saw it again

You jumped out of the window

He jumped after you

Lmao you got flees too

Kazutora Hanemiya

This time, there was no specific reason

You were just watching tiktok with him, laying on your chest, trying to sleep

But he couldn't

This was Mikeys fault

"My wheenie needs to take a whee-whee."

"The mental hospital is 10 minutes away."

He got up and went to the bathroom

Then you landed upon the tiktok

Now this, this is perfection

He came back after like, 2 minutes

He crawled back in bed

You got up

"Huh?"

"What?"

He sat on the edge where you stood

You walked away

He walked towards you

"What are you doing?'

"What are YOU doing?"

You barely kept your laugh in when you noticed his face

"This is Mikeys fault isn't it."

"Tora no–"

You did like 6 circles around the room

You got bored with just staying in it and went to the door

He got in front of you and locked it

You stumbled back into the bed

"Baby...~"

HE SAID IT IN HIS HOT DADDY ENGLISH VOICE UGH

Oh-oh guess who's weenie has to take a wee-wee now

Lmao this surely will 'rearrange your guts'

If you know what I mean

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Vexenion

CR 6

Chaotic Evil Large Outsider

Adventure Path: Return of the Runelords: It Came From Hollow Mountain, pg. 86-87

These nauseating creatures are one of the more outwardly repulsive breeds of Qlippoth, and were engineered by the Qlippoth Primordial Yamasoth (some pretty hefty body horror in that first link, by the way) as both weapons of terror against demons and guardians of his lairs and laboratories. Though they cannot starve, they share a similar affliction as their qlippothic cousins, the Nyogoth, in that they are still able to feel a nigh-insatiable hunger for flesh which drives them to forever hunt. The only time they're not eating is when they're resting, during which time they fold into themselves and manifest a Stony Form shell of solid rock over their bodies, camouflaging themselves as boulders, pillars, or cave walls until they awaken... or catch sight of something delectable.

Unfortunately for anyone who's ambushed by a rock suddenly erupting into a tentacled flesh mass, the personality of the Vexenion is far worse than that of a Nyogoth. While a Nyogoth is primarily concerned with eating as quickly as possible and dislikes any small-talk that gets between them and their food, Vexenion (which I'll be shortening to Vexen from now on) are chatty and curious, two things you don't want when encountering something with 100ft of telepathy and no reason not to use it. Single-minded in their love of eating, these qlippoth enjoy asking their potential victims about their favorite flavors and meals and explaining its own love of cuisine even as it's digesting them alive.

Don't view this as some adorable, childish trait, though, Vexen are well aware of how unpleasant this is for its victims. They do it on purpose to mislead creatures into thinking they're less dangerous than they actually are, to make victims think they're childish horrors rather than intelligent and strangely charismatic (17 Cha?!) hunters. There is no distracting these creatures with talk of food and discussions of meals past, it's using this chatter as an intimidation and distraction tactic, as even demons are upset by the qlippoth's vivid descriptions of how delicious their skin is as it tears sheets of it off their body. This is a trait deliberately engineered into them by Yamasoth to make fighting them painful both physically AND mentally.

And speaking of physical pain, the primary offense of a Vexen is simple: A quartet of beating tentacles. These tendrils deal 1d6+3 damage with every strike, and can Grab any unlucky creature they hit. Any unlucky creature pinned after being Grabbed can be Absorbed by the horror as a swift action, the victim taking 2d6 Acid damage every round until they break free or die. Whenever a creature dies from this absorption, all the flesh on its body is consumed and its skeletal remains are instantly regurgitated from the qlippoth's oozing body in a nauseating display... which restores 3d6 HP to the thing. Between the relatively low damage and the low AC and HP of its innards (13 and 7, respective, though even its innards are protected by its DR 5/Cold Iron and Lawful), the Vexen is all but incentivizing it to use one of its tentacles to grab any small, weak creatures which may be nearby whenever it Full-Attacks, wasting a bit of damage but assuring it has a quick snack at the ready if it can't absorb anything more substantial. A Vexen can only have one creature Absorbed at a time regardless of its size, so it's easier to just snatch up a squirrel, rabbit, bird, or unconscious party member to reap the benefits of its heal and just save eating the rest of the party for when they're KO'd from the tentacle beating.

Those tentacles do more than just beat people up, though. Vexen have some serious Tentacular Versatility--which is a hell of an ability name--which allows them to trade offense for speed or defense. As a swift action at the start of their turn, they can give up one or more of their tentacle attacks for the round to either increase their walk and climb speeds (30ft base) by 5ft per mobility tentacles, or give themselves a +1 dodge bonus to their AC (19 base) per defensive tentacle. This isn't as much of a sacrifice as you might think, because a Vexen doesn't have its target within its 20ft threat radius (10ft space/10ft reach), there's no downside to it sacrificing three of its tentacle attacks to increase its speed or AC and using Vital Strike to augment the remaining tentacle to do 2d6+3 damage.

At a range, Vexen can launch Acid Arrows 3/day to soften up or kill distant targets, which gives it an offensive option even if it uses all four of its tentacles for mobility or defense. It's also got Slow 1/day to more a whole party with a stagger, which is one of its potential openers upon emerging from its stony hiding place (as it's also staggered for a round after erupting from its Stony Form), the other being the 2d4 rounds of sickness caused by it unleashing its Horrific Appearance upon the party and making them believe they're already surrounded by its disgusting flabs of boneless flesh.

Between Slow and sickness, it's almost insulting to find out just how resilient these bastards are! They've got SR 17 to repel magic, 10 Resistance to Fire and Electricity while also being utterly immune to Cold and Acid! On top of that, they're utterly immune to ALL mind-affecting effects. Physically, they're protected by DR 5/Cold Iron and Lawful... and both All-Around Vision and Amorphous, so they cannot be flanked or affected by precision damage or critical hits. Despite the seemingly low damage of their attacks, their gooey bodies resist just about everything, giving them plenty of time to ensnare a delicious morsel and beat up everything else to save for later.

By 'later' I of course mean 'in about five minutes.'

You can read more about them here.

[are-you-still-writing-that]

What kind of Yandere are Bonten?

Request of @study-milk : HII it's not so much of a scenario as more of a question. So of the tokyo revengers guys (for ex. Bonten) which ones would you categorize as affectionate obsessive vs territorial obsessive.

Like those who's obsession falls under love sick who will pursue you openly and quicky vs territorial type who play a slow game of winning your sole attention.

Sorry if I ask too much❤️

First of all I have to apologize for taking so long! You request was so interesting, but I was so busy with everything else, that I could barely dictate some of my time do it! Also, if you wanted something differently please tell me! <3

(I also decided to do a bit more for you, though if you want me to elaborate on someone, just tell me...)

PS: You don´t ask too much. I actually very much enjoyed writing this request. It was a lot of fun!!

So first of all, I gotta figure out, who of the guys is obsessive and not only possessive. What is the difference?

The guys with the possessive trait want to own you, want to be the single thing your world revolves around. Incredibly jealous and will disturn and shut down conversation he ain´t a part of. He feels entitled to you.

The obsessive trait is more focused on getting to know his darling. Every little piece of information is carefully squirrelled away, to come out again in the right moment. He will bask in the warmth that your attention brings him. Always watching, always learning more.

Though both of these things are not incompatible. They can happen at the same time. The same guy can be both obsessive and possessive.

Obsessive: Matsuno Chifuyu, Hanagaki Takemichi, Shiba Hakkai, Akashi Takeomi, Hanma Shuji

Possessive: Kurokawa Izana, Sanzu, Draken, Angry, Hanemiya Kazutora, Haitani Ran, Shiba Taiju, Smiley, Baji Keisuke

Both: Kakucho, Tachibana Naoto, Kokonoi Hajime, Haitani Rindou, Mikey, Mitsuya Takashi, Kisaki Tetta

As you can see, that we have 5 boys for the exclusive obsessive traits, most of them, with 10, are in the possessive category. And at last, we have another 7 in the mixed category. These guys present clear traits in my opinion of both categories. So it isn´t quite clear if they´re being possessive or obsessive. This is also where most of the Bonten members are in, who are by the way all in bold. I left out Mochizuki, because I can´t quite grasp his character.

In the request, there was made a difference between affectional and territorial obsessive. And I think, I might be able to draw a line for those things as well. If you look at the request the terms were actually very nicely explained already.

Affectional seems to align more with being so in love, that it makes him sick, and you as well. Constantly draped over you, talking about things that you can connect over. He puts in a lot of effort to be seen in a very positive light by you.

Territorial on the other hand is intent to whisk you away from any other person. He tries to become your focus as well, but instead of him enforcing it like the possessive trait would, he wants you to choose him over and over again.

Affectionate: Matsuno Chifuyu, Hanagaki Takemichi, Haitani Rindou, Mikey, Mitsuya Takashi, Sanzu, Draken, Hanemiya Kazutora

Territorial: Shiba Hakkai, Akashi Takeomi, Hanma Shuji, Kakucho, Tachibana Naoto, Kokonoi Hajime, Kisaki Tetta, Kurokawa Izana, Angry, Haitani Ran, Shiba Taiju, Smiley, Baji Keisuke

At the last moment, I decided to sort the possessive traits also into affectionate and territorial, even though like I predicted most of them landed in the territorial category. Only Sanzu, Draken and Kazutora got into the affectionate category, because I felt like it was needed to point out, that these guys are majorly affectionate. I also decided against using a middle ground between affectionate and territorial, because I felt like I wouldn´t be able to decide if not making definite choices.

Well, enough of that! Instead I would like to focus on what we have. The affectionate trait is carried by 8 guys, which only makes it more obvious that most of the guys are territorial, with 13 guys.

So I think it is pretty easy to say, that possessive and territorial are the more popular traits with the Tokyo Revengers guys.

I come back to Bonten again though:

Sanzu is affectionate possessive. He uses his affection to possess his darling completely. He will enforce his rules, but he tends to act quite lovesick and overly affectionate most of the time. He will whine and cry, and fuss over his darling, being intimate without chasing other people away, bodily at least.

Kakucho is territorial obsessive and possessive. While he wants to know everything about you, he tends to use this information to keep you better for himself. He has also the bad habit of infantilizing his darling, for which he will use the collected knowledge. He also tries to keep everyone, hence being territorial.

Takeomi is territorial obsessive. While he wants to know his darling as well, he kind of uses them as an emotional crutch. He became dependent on them without him realising. He needs to keep them as close to him as possibly, without being able to show them how he feels for them, which is what makes him so territorial, while being obsessive.

Koko is like Kakucho territorial obsessive and possessive. He wants to know you to better win you over for himself. It will point him in the right direction, to talk about the right things, to get you the right things. Though his main goal is territorial at its core. He wants you to be dependent on him, that you will always run back to him, because you simply can´t live any more without him. And he will ensure, that this will happen.

Rindou is affectionate obsessive and possessive. He is very affectionate with his darling and constantly wants to spend time with them. This also leads to him learning a lot about them, and his darling being constantly on his mind. His possessive trait comes from him growing dependent on them, and being afraid of them being taken away from him. So he will ensure, that this won´t happen. It´s fed from his separation anxiety.

Ran is territorial possessive. He wants to own his darling, and doesn´t want other people getting their grubby paws on them either. He feels entitled to the affection and time of his darling, and doesn´t really care for their opinion of him.

Mikey is again affectionate obsessive and possessive. In a manner he is very similar to Rindou. They have the same problems. He is dependent on his darling, wants to desperately keep themself and fears the thought of being separated from them. He tries to hide it though, and some days he comes across as more territorial than affectional, though other days he will cling desperately to you the whole time, unwilling to let you go.

I think that this is it from me. I hope it doesn´t sound as formal as it looks to me at the moment, which can be attributed to me writing a lot of essays these past few months. A lot..., so many... Sometimes I could really hate what I study...

So @study-milk, I hope you and the rest of the guys enjoy this request! I had a lot of fun writing this, and hope you will have just as much fun reading it!! <3

[yaspup9000]

By Popular demand, here’s some of my LPS Hot takes

Some of the later pets weren’t That bad. Like yea I do agree that the tv show based toys from like 2013-2016 weren’t that great and kinda fugly looking, but with some of the 2020 pets, why yes not as iconic as the 2000s lps that we know and love, I still believe some people were really harsh on some of these pets cuz like they did look really cute tho! My only problem with the pets was the fact they had names tbh 2. Not every g2 lps molds were perfect. Some really good examples of older lps molds being kinda ugly were the first Jack Russel and poodle molds. I’ve also mentioned about the skunk/Squrriel molds were pretty lazy since it’s just the same mold . They didn’t even try to make them different from each other. Like say what you will but at least with some of the newer pets between 2013-2020 they were at least trying to make the skunk and squirrel molds different from each other. also the opossum molds was not all that great tbh..

3. The worse thing that ever happened to lps was the Blythe loves lps toy line. No joke idk why they thought this was good. I mean if you guys loved the Blythe dolls that’s fine, to me I always found them off putting since well, they just didn’t fit personally. Like you’re the one who’s caring the pets or this is a world where it’s run by pets. There was never any mention about humans tbh. Again this is prob coming from bitter younger me lol. But in all seriousness though, never really liked Blythe dolls tbh

4. People need to Chill out about the some of the rerelease of lps. Yes I understand, I’m just as nervous and excited as the rest of you guys however I genuinely feel as if people are really making a mountain out of a hill over some prototypes and a blind bag. Like I understand that everyone’s burned out by bad decisions after bad decisions within the lps Franchise. And yes blind bags are overused and annoying however, Guys.. they’re not just gonna make only just blind bags, they’re gonna do other stuff for lps soon just be patient. Not to mention at the end of the day, they’re still just silly little pets for kids. Can you critique the toys? Of course! But just remember that it ain’t that deep. 5. They should bring back that one brown poodle mold

yes this one! its cute as hecc! and i wish they would bring this back 6. This cat isn't a "Wolf-Cat" Its a maine coon. This isn't even an opinion or anything, i just wanna let people know that its suppose to be a maine coon. also the actual "wolf-cat" is called Lykoi and idk how that breed of cat would look as an lps.

7. the main reason back in 2013 Lps was having a reboot was due to MLP having a reboot. that's just my theory tho.

8. I feel like a lot of people keep forgetting that 90s LPS exist. Like whenever people say "g1" they don't think about the kenner Lps toys, they were thinking about the 2000's lps that was popularized by hasbro. and tbh that kinda sucks.. cuz why yes the kenner toys were more into realism, i still geninually, like the kenner lps figures they were rad.

9. The sticker eyes lps were cute, I actually liked them 10. One pet peeve I had with LPS popular, is that technically, Brook should of been arrested or at least suspended since she did attack Savannah first. Not to mention, doesn't this school have like cameras or something!? i know this has been years since I've watched LPS popular but like, bruh, Why don't her parents believe her!

Umm.. I dont really have any other opinions nor thoughts at the moment. idk feel free to ask me anything lps related and I'll give my honest opinions.

[jolapeno]

Hello fellow scout,

I’m here on official scout business! I would love, love, love to know what your writing process looks like - do you meticulously plot out everything beforehand or are you a dash out ideas in note form and see what your characters are up to kind of person? Does everything get written on your phone or are you a big screen only kind of writer? Do you only get inspo first thing in the morning or last thing at night?!

I’d love to hear anything you’d like to share!

Much love,

Al 🖤

Al!! 🩷 i love this question, but i need to apologise now for how lengthy this is likely about to get, because your girl does not have a linear process.

for your eyes and ease, i have listed in bullet points:

sometimes, i need a detailed plot if there's lots of moving parts within the piece. so if there's lots of build up and i need to weave, then a chapter by chapter (but this isn't rigid) process needs to be built.

but often, I'll have the summary, and then i write the ending/last scene first. because then i have a direction.

i try to then write the beginning scene/opening chapter, even if it's the roughest (because first chapters and opening scenes are always - in my opinion - my weakest) because then it's there.

from then, i fuck about and find out. sometimes i know X, Y and Z needs to happen before i reach the ending, and sometimes a scene will pop up in my head that I decide needs to be in it, and so i then have to move things around to make it work.

if it's a series, I'll have a document of rolling ideas, a document of dialogue (dialogue comes to me easier than scenes) and then my plot. if it's a one shot, I'll separate the document into sections to achieve this so i can work in one place.

before i get into the gritty of it, i need to know my characters. for pedro boys, it's a little easier as I'll already have a concrete-ish idea of who they are, but the person they're paired with often i need to spend a bit of time with. usually they either come to me or i have to work a bit harder (use spotify to find their song, pinterest to find their vibe and play around with dialogue to find their voice).

phone versus PC: i write on both, i tend to find i can write my first draft on my phone - this does also allow me to move around rooms. sometimes, i start something in one room, and then need to sit somewhere else. i can write on my laptop, but the vibe and the mood needs to be right, but my phone doesn't need a lot of that. i can only edit on my laptop though, and usually in a quiet room (i'm dyslexic, so i dread to think what would happen if i didn't). when i edit on my phone, it's for a quick drabble and I'll spend so long editing that i give myself a headache... not ideal.

poor @goodwithcheese and @secretelephanttattoo know the wind can blow and i get inspo. i am somehow incapable of having ideas, it's just that some are like fun "OMG IMAGINE" and some are like, "i need to write this". but i can only write either later at night (post 7pm) or early in the morning (4am-7am) anything between 7-7pm has to be like so good i can't put it down. it does happen, but it's rare and special when it happens. (do me yourself is the exception, if i can squirrel myself away, i can write it, it's the most fun I've had writing in a really long time).

EXTRA BONUS FACT: music is always involved. i have playlists for almost all moods and some fics, and often, i can't begin something without a song. music matters to me a lot.

EXTRA EXTRA BONUS FACT: my commute is 30 mins each way and i usually turn over difficult ideas or issues in plots, and so this either leads to a voice note that i have to cringingly listen back to, OR a note OR, i work out i need to rewrite the chapter. ugh.

I am sure there's likely more jo-weirdness, but i feel I've talked so much, so i'm going to stop, but feel free to ask follow ups if I've not been clear hahaha.

ily, thank you so much for this lovely ask

[arteastica]

early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (9)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (24) | (25) | (26) | (27) | (28) | (29)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)

wc: 1.8k

“It will start snowing soon.” The commander looked up at the darkening sky as if expecting a snowflake to land on his face any moment now. “The first snowfall usually happens around this time.”

“And it will be a heavy one.” You observed, trailing not far behind along the forest path that led back to the headquarters. You had spent the best part of the afternoon at the storage shed, checking the grain, cloth, and hay inventory, as well as the wood stock one last time. It was the final step in the tedious process of preparing for the winter, and judging by the way your fellow soldiers had taken off as soon as the commander had finally dismissed them, it was evident they too were grateful winter only came once a year.

“How do you know?”

“Well, for one, the acorns. Their skin is thick this year.” You explained while looking at the ground, covered in nutshells. “When they fall heavily and the squirrels stash them up high,” you pointed at the treetops, where, earlier, you had spotted their bushy tails between the foliage “the snow will be deep. Also, did you try the apples at breakfast today? Their skin was so tough it could chip a tooth. I think I’ll pass on them tomorrow.”

He let out a chuckle in response. “How reliable are apple skins when it comes to predicting the weather?”

“I don’t know about apples, but onions and corn… they never lie.” He looked back at you and raised an eyebrow. “The onion skins are thicker too, and the corn husks are especially tight this year. However, what has me really worried are the flowers.”

He waited for you to catch up. “The flowers?”

“They had a second bloom this fall. Did you notice? It’s going to be a bad winter, commander.” You shook your head like you were delivering the most ominous of news, but he just threw his head back laughing, and you couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across your face at the sight. There was something childlike in him, even though that was a word that you never thought, not in a million years, could be associated with the commander of the Survey Corps.

“How do you know all this? Assuming you are not making it all up.”

This time it was you the one lifting an eyebrow. “It doesn’t matter. You know about chess and battle tactics, and I know about these things. And all you need to know is that I didn’t make it all up, and that winter is going to be harsh and unforgiving this year.”

“Well, we better make sure to stay warm then.” There was nothing mischievous about the tone or manner of his words, so nothing justified the mental imagery your head started to provide you with; something that had become somewhat of a habit ever since the ball. And you had to admit that images of his warm, muscular body tangled up with yours under soft, warm covers were looking especially enticing in this weather.

Since that night, at your doorstep, you had been looking inside to see if you could find in you an inch of the confidence you had felt then, to see if there was a little bit left of that something you had then, that something that had led your lips so close to his. But maybe it all had been gone once the final leaves fell from the trees, or when the few drinks you had that night wore off.

You glanced at him. He had a pretty nose, of course he did. High, with a prominent bridge and slightly bent at the end. His side profile alone was enough inspiration for later at night, when you were alone in your room, seeking a satisfaction that you knew your fingers couldn’t provide. But you would try regardless, and hopefully this time it would work. It was sad to see something that you usually found relief and comfort in, quickly turn into something frustrating.

It was as if your body was getting back at you for the betrayal of that night, after the ball. It was getting back at you for failing to provide the closure it had been seeking, and now it was punishing you for breaking a promise you had unknowingly made the moment you had let the commander walk you back home on that day. Now, your body was denying you of any form of self-provided pleasure. And it was a tragedy, especially because, ever since that night at your door step, you had been craving a really good orgasm. A life-changing orgasm that you knew could only be provided by one person in particular.

You knew you shouldn’t, but you stole a glance at his pants. How disrespectful of you. But, goodness, they were so tight. How are you different from those men at the party whose eyes made you feel all levels of discomfort? True and you would definitely reflect on that later on a journal entry, but the straps around his muscled thighs were only providing the frame to an already beautiful picture. And the front. Oh, the way his pants bulged at the front.

I bet it is beautiful. Some voice inside your head came in uninvited, and you had to agree with it. Something told you he was the type who would get veiny when excited, and rock-hard when you needed him the most. You were confident he would feel heavy in your hand, and that he would be the perfect amount of thick to fit exactly where you needed him to. And there was not a single doubt in your mind that he came with a custom curve to reach exactly where you wanted him to.

“Are you cold?” His interventions were usually well-timed, but you weren’t sure about this one.

I’m not, commander. But I’d like to be fucking you right now. May I? It was all you wanted to ask. But instead, you just shook your head, feeling a tide of relief wash over you when your eyes spotted something interesting to land on.

“Oh, we don’t stand a chance. Look at these!” You walked to a low shrub that was sprinkled with red dots, and picked some. “When berries are these plentiful, it’s always a bad sign. For people who dislike the winter at least.”

“Let me guess, much like any good old, boring calendar would, it foretells the arrival of a cold and snowy season.” You would have been hurt by his skepticism, but you knew it was just a matter of weeks before nature proved you right.

“Not only that,” you said as you walked up to him “But the thing about berries is that their knowledge is not limited to the near future, they can also tell you a thing or two about the following winter as well; and an abundant crop of these means that next year’s winter will be just as cold.” You explained, holding one berry between your thumb and forefinger. “Open your mouth.”

He obliged and you placed it inside. “What do you think? They’re perfect for a pie, right? Want more?” He nodded and you fed him another. And then another. And another. And sometime by the 7th or 8th berry, you started to get worried you would run out of stock, and that was a problem because, right now, you didn’t want to move, not when his hands were resting on your sides, holding your waist.

You smiled, making mental notes of all the things you wanted to tell your journal later. “What’s your favorite winter crisp?” He looked at you like you were talking in some foreign language “Apple? Cranberry? Pear? I have an aunt who baked pear crips way too often when I was little. Ate so much I don’t really like them now.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever tried it.” He said as you placed the last berry in his mouth.

“Your parents weren’t into baking?” Crisps were very common winter treats, everywhere inside the walls; and, while you understood that his priority as commander of the Survey Corps wasn’t to try every single dessert in existence, there was no way he never had them as a child.

“My father was good at a lot of things, but baking wasn’t one of them.” You chuckled at this confession. Your hands were now resting on his upper arms, while his were still holding your waist. “And my mother, well, she passed before I even started school.”

There wasn’t any nearby, at least not that you knew, but you suddenly felt like you had stepped into an icy pond.

“So if she ever baked it for me, I was too young to remember.” He gave you a gentle smile and you responded by bringing your hand up to his cheek, where your thumb started caressing him just as gently.

The way he talked about his father, in the few occasions he had, gave you the impression that he wasn’t around anymore, but you hadn’t heard anything about his mother. It didn’t look like he had any siblings either, but you really wished he still had some relative out there, someone to write home to. Because the thought of him spending the holidays alone, not having any family left, made your heart feel the same kind of agony lemons must feel when squeezed.

You stroked the rough, bristly skin of his chin, and as you looked into his eyes, realized how much you wanted to cuddle him under a warm blanket on snowy days, to let him fall asleep on your lap in the middle of a stressful afternoon, and to bake him all the treats he didn’t have as a child.

“You need to shave.” You told him softly, while hoping your smile could convey all those thoughts you just had to him. But he only chuckled. “I will bake one for you before the holidays. And a tart too. These berries will make the perfect tangy sauce.”

Your hand was still cupping his face when he spoke. “While I appreciate everything you do, especially the butter biscuits in the afternoon, it is not in your job description to bake for me or to bring me tea twice a day.”

“Fair. But it is not in your job description either to buy sweet treats for your assistant or to walk her home.” You replied, smiling broadly to match the grin on his lips. “Come on, commander. Let’s get warm. It’s getting cold out here.” You gave his chin one last stroke before heading to the castle and the warm lights that could already be seen glowing through its windows, including the one of your shared office, where the fireplace flames would surely be dancing to the crackling of wood.

-

next chapter

taglist: @elnyrae @angelaevangelion @depitaangeline @ynackerman9499 @afatalheat @pumpkin-toffee @velouria17 @gassytritis

[pupphe-additions]

✬Evie’s Relationship With Ateez✬

a/n: it has some swearing in it as does most of my writing but here ya go. Evie's relationship/dynamics with Ateez since Ateez and SKZ are close, I hope you all enjoy <3 also before yall freak when you see what I wrote about Jongho he is my bias. i adore that man more than life itself, i just like angst.

Evie x Seonghwa

Quote: “My dream wouldn’t be complete without you in it.” Dynamic: His Princess, Her Prince

His contact in her phone is “👑Prince Seonghwa👑” and hers is “Aussie Princess.”

Seonghwa and Wooyoung are the most likely to praise Evie in Ateez.

They get captivated by one another when they watch each other perform.

Evie enjoys watching Ateez concerts when she has the chance to attend them.

Seonghwa winks at her anytime he catches her staring at him.

Evie likes to chew on his arm.

Evie enjoys when he pats her head to show affection.

They kiss each other on the cheeks to greet one another. 

Evie likes holding his hand a lot.

Seonghwa uses Evie as an armrest in a teasing way to make fun of her for being short. Evie elbows him when he does and she will glare harshly at him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Evie x Hongjoong

Quote: “The happier you are, the more beautiful you become.” Dynamic: Mother x Father

His contact in her phone is “🐿️Squirrel🐿️” and her contact in his phone is “Lil Evs”

Evie likes playfully teasing Hongjoong.

Hongjoong and Evie have staring contests and she always wins because she usually just spaces out.

Hongjoong and Evie bicker like a married couple often.

Evie likes to steal his hats and jackets because she “likes to have stuff to remind her of him.”

Evie is Hongjoong’s #1 fan.

Lowkey talking mad shit to one another.

Always tired of their members' bull, but also secretly loves to join in on it.

Always laughing and happy when together.

Hongjoong does whatever he has to, to see Evie happy.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Evie x Yunho

Quote: “All the beautiful things are around you." Dynamic: Happy Pet x Equally Happy Owner

His contact in her phone is “🐶My Fav Puppy🐶” and her contact in his phone is “Moonlight”

Evie enjoys it when she gets to play games with Yunho.

Evie always says that Yunho is her favorite puppy and she likes to hang out with him a lot.

Yunho is the only member of Ateez that doesn’t tease her for her being shorter than them,

They always tell each other “I love you” before hanging up when they call.

Another good way to describe their dynamic would be “black cat gf x golden retriever bf” even though they aren’t dating.

They’ve danced together on stage before.

Evie likes to rest her head on Yunho.

Evie is very protective of Yunho and says “no one is allowed to hurt my tall squish.”

Yunho will let her hide behind him if she’s feeling overwhelmed.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Evie x Yeosang

Quote: “While many might listen to you, not all will understand you.” Dynamic: Shy Boy x Flirty Girl

His contact in her phone is “Yeo-Cutie😉” and her contact in his phone is “Spicy Aussie” as that’s what she put it as and he has not changed it because he finds it cute.

Evie adores Yeosang and will dote on him 24/7 if she could.

Yeosang gets flustered really easily when he is near Evie.

They do not show any skinship due to how shy Yeosang is around her.

Always listens to what each other has to say.

Yeosang likes to look at Evie but when she notices he will get flustered and look away with red cheeks.

Evie likes to wink at him to see him get flustered. She says it’s nice to be on the opposite end of it for a change.

They don’t spend a lot of time together.

They have eaten chicken together before even though they don’t hang out a lot.

Evie thinks that Yeosang is very cute and charming and will often tease him for how shy she makes him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Evie x San

Quote: “The world would be so drab if no wildflowers were growing among the weeds.” Dynamic: “Looks like could kill you, is a cinnamon roll” duo

His contact in her phone is “Cinnamon Roll” and her contact in his phone is “Lovely Nari”

Every single time they see each other they give each other a new plushy, it’s like their tradition at this point.

They plan on getting matching tattoos with Wooyoung in the future when the can both agree on something.

They have matching pajamas and plushies and have friendship bracelets.

Evie calls San her boy.

They can easily make each other flustered.

When Evie can’t sleep she’ll call San.

They actually don’t hang out as often as they’d like due to either being busy or scared of a dating rumor starting. AGAIN EVIE CANT CATCH A BREAK

San teases Evie any chance he gets because he thinks it’s fun to tease her and to push her buttons.

They always send each other pictures of them hugging their matching plushies to one another.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Evie x Mingi

Quote: “Life is a constant battle between chaos and harmony, just like the world around you.” Dynamic: Chaos x Controlled Chaos

His contact in her phone is “🕷️Long Legs🕷️” and her contact in his phone is “Evelyn🖤”

They write each other notes and letters a lot because it feels more personal.

They are constantly recommending anime to one another.

They are WILD together.

During his hiatus she always checked up on him and made sure he knew she’d be there for him as she understood what he was going through and always listened to what he had to say. Because of that they grew a lot closer.

Evie adores her tall boys, especially this tall boy.

They hug a lot when they are near each other.

Mingi likes to lift her off the ground because he enjoys hearing giggling.

Mingi always praises her for her amazing work ethic and crazy stage presence.

They don’t hang out a lot but they talk often.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Evie x Wooyoung

Quote: “Sometimes, home is a person.” Dynamic: Soulmates

His contact in her phone is “My Soulmate” and her contact in his phone is “Best Girl Nari.”

They love bullying each other.

They want to get matching tattoos with San. Wooyoung and Evie have friendship bracelets and a matching necklace as well.

They message each other every chance they get.

Evie has outwardly called Wooyoung her soulmate and couldn’t imagine her life without him in it.

They go on friend dates every chance they can.

They will always end their calls after saying “I love you” and blowing each other a kiss and wishing each other a good rest of the day/night.

They also kiss each other on the cheeks to greet one another.

Wooyoung is obsessed with Evie and they flirt all the time.

Evie enjoys sending stupid pictures of herself to Wooyoung. Also these two are SO LOUD together.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Evie x Jongho

Quote: “They say love and hate are two sides of the same coin, and I can't help but agree when it comes to you.” Dynamic: Enemies to Lovers

They do not have each other’s numbers saved.

Evie admits that when they first met they didn’t like each other at all.

Jongho thought she was a bad influence and that she was rude, selfish, and uptight. He thought that she was harsh and not someone who he should be friends with or associate with. He tried to convince the other members of Ateez the same but it didn’t work. 

Evie thought he was snooty and uptight. She thought that he was extremely cruel due to how he originally treated her. She didn’t understand why he disliked her so much but two can play that game. She always ignored him when she was around Ateez to avoid any drama she always just minded her own business.

When they first actually talked Jongho realized he got her all wrong and he felt bad but he still didn’t like her.

They were harsh, cold, and cruel toward one another for years.

In 2023 Chan and Hongjoong made them sit down and talk it out, once they did they realized they actually liked each other.

They still aren’t close but they do tolerate each other a lot easier now.

They do not hang out unless other members of Ateez or Stray Kids are around.

Evie doesn’t know if she wants to be closer to Jongho or not because he was extremely rude to her and she still hasn’t fully forgiven him for judging her so harshly when they first met. she does she's just scared

[pyramidsoul]

Jeffrey Dahmer and the relationship with animals

Unlike other serial killers, Jeffrey Dahmer never found interest on harming or torturing animals. In fact, abusing animals since childhood it’s an important factor which may link to future violence towards humans. However, hurting animals wasn’t under Jeffrey Dahmer’s radar.

“We’d go out and play in the fields, run around, she was a good dog to have.” -Jeffrey Dahmer

Childhood:

Since he was a kid he showed interest in animals, having a goldfish and a turtle as pets at only 18-months-old. The mother, Joyce, remembered those moments with affection, affirming the kind relationship his boy had with the animals: “Jeff was so very gentle with the turtle”.

He also had a cat, Buffy, during the time the family was living at Pammel Court. Unfortunately, due to the father’s job, The Dahmers had to move in Bath, Ohio, and they had to be sell Buffy. It was at that time, at age 7, that Dahmer was given a puppy to help distract him from the recent move. He named the puppy Frisky, she was a lovely black and white dog, and Jeffrey was very close to her.

Also around that time Jeffrey’s brother, David , was born. He loved his brother, yet he loved his dog more, as Joyce recalled: “…More adjusting for Jeff, but he loves Davy and is good to him. Frisky comes first in his heart, though. They really romp and play”. Jeffrey spent time playing and running out the camps with the dog.

Jeffrey Dahmer and a cat, possibly Buffy

Around age two or three, a curious fact had happened. His father was riding his bicycle with Jeffrey seated on the handlebars, when Jeffrey spotted what looked like a ball of dust (in the eyes of Lionel). Curious and pointing at it, Jeffrey encouraged the father to come closer, when Lionel noticed it was a baby nighthawk which had fallen from the nest. With Jeffrey’s urging, Lionel took the little bird at home and raised it with Jeffrey on his side. At the beginning they nursed it feeding it a mixture of milk and corn syrup, to switch with solid food later once the bird became strong enough. It almost became a pet, and a name was given: “Dusty”. “It was almost like a pet. It would come back when you called it, eat out of your hand and stuff like that.” Joyce said. When the bird grew and became stronger, it was ready to be released. It was Lionel who cradled it and took it outside, and when he opened the hand the bird flew away. It was a delightful moment, and all the three members of the family were happy.

Around age seven or eight instead, the first violent act of the child showed up. Jeffrey developed a certain fondness for the assistant teacher at school, and so he decided to give her a present. It was an innocent child gesture, a naive gift, but significant for little Jeffrey. He caught a bowl of tadpoles in a stream nearby a school where the family was used to go, to give them to the teacher as a sign of affection. Unfortunately after some time he would’ve found out the bowl was given to his friend Lee. He felt betrayed and as a sign of revenge he sneaked into Lee’s house garage (where the tadpoles were kept) and killed the animals pouring motor oil into their water.

“It stood about as tall as this table, short fur, looked like a Doberman, real friendly dog. My dog was chasing it into the street and this car came by and both dogs were together, right next to each other, and that car slammed into the big dog and just missed mine by that much. Boy, did I feel lucky.”

Dahmer remembering an episode with Frisky and the dog of his neighbours

Adolescence:

During adolescence he focused on his single hobby, started years before. At first he began watching and starring animals, such as snakes, toads, crabs, turtles, fish and wild rabbits. When living in Bath, Ohio, Jeffrey spent a great amount of time in a hut next to the house, collecting rests of animals. There was a skeletons collection, with the rests of squirrels, birds and chipmunks, and there was a jars collection with insects inside in formaldehyde. He even had a graveyard outside where he buried the dead animals.

However, his interest grew more and more, and it evolved in road-kills interest: he picked up dead animals in the streets, which were invested by cars, bringing them home. He was interested on the “mechanics” of the inside, and he wanted to know how it “worked”. He cut them open down the front, exposing the innards. Still, none of the animals were alive during the process, as he picked up dead creatures specifically. He usually found foxes, opossums, cats, raccoons and dogs. One of the dogs he found was very large, and after he brought it home as his usual, he waited for the skin to rot off to collect the bones later then. Another one was a Beagle, and after examining the insides, he grabbed the skull of the creature, putting it on a pole. Curiously, another time again, a chilling fact occurred, when he kidnapped a dog of a neighbour with the intent of killing it. He didn’t find the courage to do so after watching at the dog, and so he freed it. There’s also been one time in school where he stole the feral pig from the biology laboratory, taking it home and once in the garage, he removed the skin and flesh and kept the skull of the pig.

When in highschool, Jeffrey Dahmer shared a friendship with a certain Jeff Six, another student of the Revere High School. The friendship wasn’t deep at all, and it required no specific commitment. It was with him that Jeffrey spent some time in his car. Unfortunately, Six had a weird sadistic habit which Jeffrey didn’t like at all. While on the road, if a dog was spotted, Six would speed up to hit the animal. “His big thrill was to find a dog that was walking in the road and speed up real fast and hit it. It just amazed me. In one day he went through four dogs. How many dogs just walked into the road in front of him . . . He’d speed up real fast and just tick them off.” Dahmer said subsequently. One time in particular marked Dahmer quite a lot, when Six hit a little puppy, and when the latter looked back and Dahmer noticed his terrified eyes, he insisted to stop the car so he could go away, sickened by these acts.

The dog’s skull on a pole

Jeffrey Dahmer never killed an animal himself. It is frequently the case that people who grow into multiple murderers have evolved from sadistic children, and cruelty to animals in childhood is a common characteristic shared among them. Dahmer’s case is different in this regard as in most others. He displayed no cruelty, and was not interested in watching an animal suffer or react to pain.

- The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer

Adult life:

When living with his grandmother in West Allis, Wisconsin, he took care of the grandma’s cat, Jody, who liked. Jeffrey expressed his love for cats even with his neighbours, Vernell and Pamela Bass, when he saw their cat on their apartment. “He was very impressed when he saw our cat walk out of the bedroom picking her up and saying he liked cats a lot.” Vernell explained. Douglas Jackson, downstairs neighbor, also stated he was used to see Dahmer in the backyard smoking cigarettes or drinking beers surrounded by cats, which followed him wherever he went.

As he moved in his own apartment in Milwaukee, Apt 213 at 924 North 25th Street, he allowed himself to get a fish tank. It was a 30-gallon aquarium bought from The Fish Factory, a fish shop where he would usually wander around admiring the variety of fishes there, from their colours to their shapes. He was so fascinated indeed, so much that when he got caught they found books about fish care in his apartment. “It was nice, with African cichlids and tiger barbs in it and live plants, it was a beautifully kept fish tank, very clean . . . I used to like to just sit there and watch them swim around, basically. I used to enjoy the planning of the set-up, the filtration, read about how to keep the nitrate and ammonia down to safe levels and just the whole spectrum of fish-keeping interested me.” Dahmer said. He was so enthusiastic about trigger fish and puffer fish as well. He reminded the time when he saw the puffer fish in the store with enthusiasm: “I once saw some puffer fish in the store. It’s a round fish, and the only ones I ever saw with both eyes in front, like a person’s eyes, and they would come right up to the front of the glass and their eyes would be crystal blue, like a person’s, real cute.”. This was a very precious hobby for Dahmer, and after his arrest he would recall his aquarium moments with nostalgia, missing them.

Jeffrey and Jody at grandmother’s house in 1990.

“The cat's doing fine. She always wants to be brushed."

Jeff nodded.

"You know how she likes that."

"Yeah."

"She's always trying to be brushed," I said. "Remember how you used to do it?"

He stared at me silently.

- Excerpt From A Father's Story

Sources: The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer - Brian Masters; A Father’s Story - Lionel Dahmer; Across The Hall - Vernell Bass; Step into My Parlor - Edward Baumann; My Friend Dahmer - Derf Backderf

[h-c-u]

Come fly with me, let's fly away...

Summary: You and Ice both like to fly, just in completely different ways. And he finally convinced you to take a jet ride with him.

Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x fem!reader

W/C: 3.3k

Rating: PG, explicitly stated age gap (19 years). They met for the first time when the reader was 19 (Do I condone that in real life? HELL NO. SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN A BABY).

TWs: None.

A/N: This fic is happening not long after Ice became O-10, he's not married to Sarah, doesn't have any kids, and definitely isn't sick.

Also, the reader is described as really petite, but there are no allusions to ED or food in general; I just wanted that position to work :)

Also Yes, the reader owns her small house with a quite big garden at around 21 without having a job. How and why? Idk, I'm not in her bank account, ask her.

Masterlist | List of tags

- And you're sure it's fine...? You won't get into any trouble...? - You were nervously playing with a strap of his old helmet, he just handed you. Ice just got promoted, and you were still getting used to his new rank. 

- It's not like they can fire me now, dove... - oh that cocky smile that you wanted to rub from his face. Preferably with your fist. Or your own mouth. It didn't really matter, as long as he stopped. - But seriously, we're good. It's a holiday, everyone else is out celebrating, and I've put it as a training exercise, so we're fully covered when it comes to all the paperwork, please don't worry so much, squirrel. - he placed a quick kiss on the top of your head. It wasn't exactly your favorite nickname, but he didn't use it too often, only when he playfully teased you about your not-so-safe hobby. 

Because both of you loved to fly. He was just doing that in a metal can mounted to another can of explosives, and you were... well... Using a thin material to glide. Yet you couldn't help but feel much safer in your wingsuit than inside a jet, that's why it took so long for him to convince you, and right about now, you were seriously rethinking your decision. 

- Relax, dove. - you just couldn't help it. This plane in front of you was basically a killing machine, and even though you loved the adrenaline, you were extremely opposed to conflict and violence, and you sometimes wondered how you ended up with someone in the military, especially that high up.

Well, when you two met he wasn't exactly O-10... He was just promoted to captain. At first, it was supposed to be a rebound-one-night stand with a man literally twice your age (at that time), and on top of that, he was just about to be deployed, so there was literally no chance for a relationship. Yet you still told him you'd like to see him again when he comes back. Which was incredibly stupid and naive, but you were only 19 and he said yes, thinking that you'll forget all about him as soon as you'll meet someone younger while he was gods-know-where, doing gods-know-what.

And you did meet someone. But it fizzled out before it even started. The same thing happened 7 months after you met Ice, and you honestly tried to analyze this whole situation rationally. There were definitely downsides to hooking up with...? dating...? An older man. You weren't even sure what you wanted, so how the hell could you decide if you really wanted it? 

But when you saw him again at the bar, you weren't conflicted. You were just straight-up angry. Because even if he didn't mean it, he did say yes. And it all went quickly downhill from there, well at least for you, because he insisted that you just had to take everything so slowly. He literally didn't allow you to kiss him for four months straight, still hoping that somehow he'll be able to change your mind about him. But you were stubborn, although it was extremely hard for you to be so close to him, without even being able to touch him the way you wanted. There was a lot of pouting, but even more talking and spending time together. Every day after work he helped you in your garden; he even fixed up a shed for you, so the door didn't require a small tank to open and close anymore. 

He taught you many things and told you even more stories. Of course, he couldn't tell you every detail, but it was still nice to hear his voice, and you enjoyed simply watching him doing whatever; didn't matter if it was making pancakes, or working on his plane, as long as he was in your line of sight, you were satisfied. Not in every way, but enough. It took him a full year to realize that you weren't going anywhere. He was already practically living at your house, you put him down as one of your emergency contacts on every possible form, and your cat honestly preferred sleeping on his lap than on yours. And when it hit him, it did with full strength. You weren't even doing anything special... You were just sitting curled up in the giant armchair in his workshop, lazily sketching something in your notebook, and you were getting frustrated because you couldn't get it quite right. He didn't even tell you to come with him, you just showed up around lunch with a spare portion for him, and after you ate, you just stayed there, not even saying anything, because you didn't want to interrupt whatever he was doing. And that's what did it for him... A thing that you did dozens of times over the last year, but this time something in him clicked. 

It's not like he didn't want you with every atom of his body, but Ice-cold always had full control over his basic instincts. But right then and there, he made a conscious decision to do everything in his power to make you the happiest person on earth, and that included finally giving you the relationship you deserved. He of course insisted on never being added on a deed to your house and was very adamant that you'd keep your finances separate, even though he started contributing long before that conversation. He would always push you to explore and learn things on your own and was always there to cheer on you from the first row. And if you'd one day decide that you'd be happier elsewhere, he would let you go. But he didn't have to, because you had eyes only for him...

Even now, almost 7 years after your wedding you were still getting giddy whenever he would hug you or even smiled at you, that's exactly why you found yourself in pilot gear, even though you've never held a flying stick in your hands before. His old helmet was way too big for you, and eventually, he got you another one and that one fit. Even though his stoic presence usually was enough to calm you down, this time it wasn't so easy. It's not like you were afraid of flying; you used choppers in the past to get to the desired altitudes, but this was different. This was a war machine, and you frowned because an unpleasant thought entered your mind... Was this F-22 ever used to kill anyone? 

- Y/N....? - his voice pulled you from your spiral of thoughts, and you rested your gaze on his eyes. - C'mere, dove... - he repeated the request, reaching for your arm to pull you onto the wing he was currently standing on. Sure, he could have let you use a ladder, but this was much more fun. He didn't have any trouble pulling you up with one hand, and you would be lying if you said that his strength didn't turn you on, especially considering all the positions he was to hold you in for long periods of time. 

- And you're sure it's safe...? - you've repeated the question you already asked at least 20 times today. 

- I always managed to come back in those, so I'd say they have a pretty good record... - he said jokingly and started settling in the cabin. He did all the pre-flight checks before you joined him in the pilot seat. You checked earlier, and even with you sitting in front of him, on the same chair, there was enough space for him to reach everything he needed. Before you climbed in, he also loosened the safety belts, so you could fit in them with him, just in case. He didn't plan on doing anything crazy today, but he'd still rather be prepared for anything. - C'mere, dove... - he was done with the checks and was ready to finally take you flying his way. You settled cozily in front of him. It was a tight, but not impossible fit, and if you were being completely honest, you enjoyed having him so close to you... He reached around you and made sure that the emergency oxygen line was connected to your mask, connected your coms to his, and buckled you both in, so everything was properly secured. 

- Tower, this is Iceman, how do you read? - he started following the procedures, and you patiently kept quiet, sitting between his legs. Your compact size definitely had its perks, because at first, you were afraid that he wouldn't be able to see anything if you sat in front of him in a helmet, but fortunately, that wasn't a problem.

- Iceman, Tower, loud and clear, how me? - an unfamiliar voice replied through the comms. 

- Loud and clear. Take-off pre-checks complete. 

- Ready engines start. Iceman, you are clear to taxi. Runway number 2. Winds 21, 0, 10. - you've felt the jet move before you actually saw it moving because Tom was driving it extremely slowly to the designated runway as if he wanted to put you in warm water, so you could get used to it before it starts boiling.

- Fuel check - good. Cabin pressure check - good. Tower this is Iceman, requesting an unrestricted climb to 500 and above. 

- Iceman, the runway and skies are yours. 

- Iceman ready for takeoff. 

- Iceman, Tower. You are clear for takeoff. - you didn't know that, but at this moment he cut his mice on the line to the Tower. 

- You ready, dove...? - he asked, and you nodded. - It's gonna be a bumpy ride for a moment, but as soon as we'll be in the air it will be much calmer... - he informed you and gave you one last hug before he actually started accelerating on the runway. You couldn't help but close your eyes. It was so loud... You felt like the engines were exploding and the nose of the jet was ripping through the fabric of air... It wasn't pleasant, to say the least, and you couldn't imagine doing anything else under those conditions. There were so many systems, and Ice knew them like the back of his hand, and wasn't even looking at the knobs he was flipping, completely relying on his muscle memory. 

But you finally started climbing and you felt yourself melting into the strong body behind you. You were honestly afraid that with added pressure on his chest, he'd have trouble breathing, but he seemed to be doing more than alright. 

- How are you feeling...? - he asked after finally leveling the jet at around 10k ft. 

- Haven't decided yet... - you laughed because the view was amazing, and something you never got to see while wingsuit flying... - It's so loud, I didn't know it was that loud... - you were a little bit overwhelmed by engine and wind sounds and your thoughts weren't fully coherent because of it. 

- To be honest, I've quickly stopped noticing it... But... - he started patting his suit, checking if he still had something in his pockets. And he did. - I have a pair of noise-canceling plugs... I usually use them when I'm near the tarmac because it's always much louder there. They're all yours... - it was hard to properly manouver them under your helmet, especially with gloves, but even though they weren't in all the way, they still were a massive help. - Better? - he asked when you'd stopped fumbling, and you nodded in response. Now his voice was also muffled, but you could still hear him. 

- Are you ready for some gymnastics...? - his voice was giddy, almost as if he was a kid who got exactly what he wanted on Christmas morning and couldn't wait to share that news with his friends. You knew he wouldn't knowingly put you in any danger, so you nodded again. - Hold on tight, dove. - you didn't even know what to hold, so you grabbed his thighs at the exact moment when he did a first screwdriver. It was easy, you knew how to do those, but after that... He was maneuvering the jet in ways you didn't think possible. Dropping and ascending, swirling around imaginary targets, flying upside down... And as soon as your adrenaline kicked in, you couldn't help but laugh at every sudden change of direction. It was like riding a super advanced, super expensive rollercoaster, and you loved rollercoasters. 

You weren't exactly sure how long you were in the air before he leveled the plane again. 

- How about now, dove...? - you knew that he could tell by your laugh that you enjoyed it, but you were more than happy to use your words. 

- It has its perks, I'm not gonna lie... - you laughed again. - I still prefer my wingsuit, because I feel like I have more control. But from now on, I won't say no to an occasional jet ride. - you smiled, even though he wasn't able to see it beaming on your face. 

- Do you want to take the stick...? - he asked, and you honestly weren't sure if you heard him right. 

- What?

- Do you want to take the stick...? - he repeated, apparently being serious. 

- But... - you've started, but he was already moving your hands from his thighs to the stick and covering them with his own. 

- I'm here, and no matter what you'll do, I'll be able to correct it at this height... So I'm gonna ask again. Do you want to take the stick...? - his voice was stoic, even if full of joy. He knew he was good and that even if you somehow managed to put the jet in a complete nosedive, he'd still be able to pull you up in time. And you knew he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your life, so you nodded. - Ok, focus only on the stick, everything else is my job, ok...? - and you nodded again. - It acts basically like a joystick in games. If you want to move left, you move it to the left... - and his hands, still holding yours in them, moved the stick to the left. - If you want to move to the right, you move to the right... - and now you were gently swaying right. - If you want to go up, you pull it toward you... And if you wanna go down, then away... - he demonstrated, and just like that, you were on your own. 

Of course, you were afraid to move at first, you knew perfectly well how much one of those planes cost, and you couldn't help it. 

- Don't be afraid, dove... I'm here... - he repeated, and you finally relaxed a bit, and when your grip on the stick loosened a bit, you were able to feel something more... You tried gently swaying it left and right, and it was easier to do it to the left. Not by much, but you still noticed it. Surprised by your own discovery, you tried to do the same by gently swaying up and down... And it was just a tiny bit easier to go up... 

- I know you're sure that you'll be able to save us if I fuck up, but I need you to say it one more time because I feel like I'm about to do something really stupid. - this time he laughed maniacally. 

- I'm confident I'll be able to save us, dove, even if you'll somehow invade another country in this jet. - he reassured you again. 

- In that case, it's all on you... - you've said on the exhale and tried to feel the winds again. In your wingsuit, it was much easier. Not only because you were directly cooperating with the wind, but also because you had much, much more experience in flying that way. But even though the winds at this height were stronger, they were more or less the same, you just had to learn how to communicate with them and use them through this tin can. - Wait... How do you slow down and speed up...? - you asked when you wanted to match the speed of the winds, but you realized... you didn't know how. Ice laughed and guided your left hand to the correct lever. 

- Forwards - faster, backward - slower. - he didn't have to say much, just happy to observe you trying to find a footing in his world. 

- Ok... Here goes nothing... - you had to hype yourself up a little bit before you actually did any sudden turns... It took you good 20 seconds to finally gather enough courage to slow down enough to match the wind the best as you could. But as you were flying slower, it was easier to feel the direction of the wind, and you were glad for that. You exhaled quickly three times and finally started following the wind current down. It was rough and full of twists and turns, and it took you some time to get used to the controls. You saw Ice flipping some switches when he realized what you were doing, assisting you as best as he could because he never actually encountered anyone who would fly a military jet like that. You took your own technique and applied it to the 600 million-dollar machine, which was definitely... something else. You didn't have any proper training in flying, your head wasn't soaked with all the correct ways to fly a plane, so you took all your personal knowledge and applied it here. 

- Whoah! - Ice was surprised by a sudden drop, because nothing that rough showed up on the wind shear detection, yet you had no issues with just... feeling it. - How did you notice that? - he asked, genuinely surprised. 

- There are patterns... - you mumbled under your nose, still completely focused on the way how the stick felt in your hand. You didn't even notice when you closed your eyes a bit, so you could feel it better, and only after you've finished an unnamed maneuver, you got out of the trans you were usually in while you were flying in the wingsuit. - I mean... Wind behaves a certain way because of changes in pressure. And if you spend enough time relying on it, you kinda start seeing the patterns before you even enter the stream. I know how it sounds, trust me... I don't even know how else to explain it, because it's not something that I was taught during courses... Every instructor just said that you need to learn how to feel and hear it. And up here...? Everything is just... So... Loud... So I heard the change in the sound and followed it. - you tried to explain it as best as you could, but just... couldn't find the right words. You were sure that there was a scientific explanation for all this, but it was much easier to learn how to feel and hear it. 

- Huh... - he sounded curious. - Maybe next time you'll be trying to kill yourself, squirrel, I might actually join you... - he sighed heavily, taking the stick from your hands because you were starting to get lower than he felt comfortable with; there were birds at this altitude, and he would prefer to avoid them. 

- Wait... Are you serious...? - now you were the one who got excited. Usually, he let you have your own things to do. Of course, he was right there with you during your certifications and the numerous qualifications, but he never expressed interest in actually joining you up there. 

- Dead serious, dove... It actually sounds interesting and I would love to learn more about wind currents firsthand. - if you weren't basically tied to a seat with him, you would have jumped from excitement, which would be a poor decision in such a tight space. 

- Iceman, An Admiral, and US Pacific Fleet Commander in a squirrel suit... Can't wait to see it. - he groaned and instantly started regretting even bringing it up. 

- Promise me, you won't tell anyone about this... - you couldn't help but laugh. 

- I promise, I won't... - you didn't say anything about taking pictures though. 

[dearcat1]

Big brother

Part 7 of Sass and Squirrels

Xanxus bites multiple teachers, kicks a few and he thinks he successfully stabs another with his pencil. Tsunayoshi, used to his brother's violent tendencies, is unperturbed.

More importantly, however, Xanxus emerges victorious. He returns home with a happy Tsunayoshi, slightly bloody knuckles and a sharp grin. Good, now they know not to try him.

"If they try to touch you," Xanxus explains to his brother as he sets him down, tired from the walk back home; "you stab them. Like this." He closes Tsunayoshi's small fist around the plastic knife and stabs the plushie square in the stomach. "Right there. Trying for the ribs is a waste."

Tsunayoshi gurgles and drops the knife in favour of making grabby arms at Xanxus.

"Whatever." Xanxus picks him back up. "We'll just keep doing that until it sticks."

"Xan-Xan! Tsu! Food is ready!"

Right. "Coming, ma!"

He stops halfway down the stairs, the spread on the table telling him his mama noticed Xanxus's anger. Good for her, he thinks, uncharitable, but pushes that away. He's surprised she did; though Xanxus wasn't hiding it, he's not necessarily pleased. But maybe it's better that they acknowledge this, even in a small way. "Let's do this," he tells Tsuna, bouncing him slightly just to watch him light up.

Nana looks at them but doesn't coo or reach out to ruffle his hair. She stands by the table, watching him settle Tsuna down on his kiddie chair. Their mother waits until Xanxus shrugs and digs in before talking. "You're disappointed in me."

Xanxus blinks, unsure of why he was expecting an apology instead. "You left him alone."

His mother sighs, "I thought it would be ok. He was sleeping."

"It wasn't." Xanxus could rub it in her face, let Nana know that Tsuna was far from sleeping when Xanxus came home. Or worse, he could ask questions and finally find out for how long his little brother was left to scream bloody murder at the ceiling. But… Xanxus survived the slums with an alcoholic for a mother and the Iron Fort with Timoteo as a father. He'll survive a civilian childhood with a little brother to take care of just fine. By now, Nana's interference isn't welcome.

She hesitates, hands smoothing out her apron. "Alright, I'll know better next time."

"Ok." Xanxus doesn't tell her that he won't let her have the opportunity.

They eat quietly, with only Tsunayoshi's ocasional baby babble breaking the silence. Nana plays with his brother, grabbing the food and trying to feed him. Xanxus rolls his eyes at the floor and says nothing about Tsunayoshi's hate for the fruit when Nana offers him apple slices.