#or maybe a god
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Was trying to take pics with Seyka on the beach but she wouldn't stop glowing lmao




still got these cute shots of aloy flirting with and admiring her gf


#seyloy#seyka#horizon forbidden west#hfw#virtual photography#my pics#my post#aloy#aloy horizon#horizon#glitch#photo mode#bug#shes a spirit#or maybe a god#aloy x seyka#horizon burning shores#burning shores#hfw spoilers#hfw seyka#burning shores spoilers
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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about some of the people I interact with. I have a coworker who I am pretty sure is a MAGA type, and she is also a lovely woman who is dreadfully overworked and so good at connecting to patients when they call. I can see the conflict on her face when she talks to me, a gigantic tranny dork who speaks Spanish and affirms the LGBT community, but can also talk to her about her cows and knows about guns and stuff. I can see the fear in the eyes of my former Young Men’s leader when he misgenders me and realizes that I’m not an ideology but a person he has known for a long time. I can see the way my extended family stop and stutter over political discussions when they realize they are talking about me. And I don’t know why but lately it’s just made me think about my neighbor as a kid.
When we moved to Arizona, we moved next door to a lovely retired couple - John and Lucy. John was a veteran of WWII, he had an M.D. and a Ph.D. in radiology, and he LOVED us to pieces. His wife, Lucy, was a sharp and gifted woman - well spoken, very observant, and VERY clever. I just know that she used that cleverness as a mom to great effect, because with my and my siblings she always managed to find a way to send us home with candy and treats for a week despite my dad’s protests. We loved them, growing up, and even though they have long-since passed away I love them still, and I love what I learned from them.
John was, as stated, a WWII veteran. He was enlisted as a rifleman, and later as a front line medic, starting at Point Du Hoc and moving inwards to France and towards the Rhine. He let me do a report on him in 6th grade where he shared war stories with me he had kept to himself his whole life - he said it was out of respect for his friends who didn’t get to come home and tell their stories.
He said he told me because he knew I could respect the memories of his friends.
He showed me his collection of medals, and which he’d kept hidden away in a sock in his attic because he’d feel an immense grief any time he saw them. He had wanted to be a doctor his whole life, prior to being drafted he was studying medicine and had taken the Hippocratic oath to Do No Harm. He saw his medals as a reminder that he had Done Harm.
After telling me his stories he was able to convince himself that while he had Done Harm, it was only because his only other alternative was, to him, cowardice. He chose to be brave even if it meant acting against his Oath because he felt that if he didn’t do it someone else would have to go in his place and he would be responsible for the harm that befell them. I don’t think that’s true, but for him it was and that was something no being on earth could have ever dissuaded him from believing.
He shared wild stories - melee combat on the beach, clearing artillery bunkers, receiving a Purple Heart for being injured in hand-to-hand combat with a Wehrmacht rifleman he said he felt pity for because they were the same age and he had to imagine the man he was fighting had been drafted just like him.
He shared how he was awarded a Silver Star for charging a machine gun nest, but shared that he was most proud of not killing anyone in the process. He threw a grenade with the pin still in it and when the machine gunners jumped to avoid being blown up they were killed by someone else so he didn’t have to do it. He took the machine gun and shot the other machine gun in that French field to pieces so he didn’t have to kill the people operating it. He said they were giving out Silver Stars like candy but I knew he was being modest.
He told me about being redesignated as a medic, about how he crawled for about 500 yards on his belly to rescue an injured tank driver, then threw him over his back and crawled the same 500 yards back (1000 yards total) to treat his injuries. He said he met the man in an Army hospital in England after his spine was broken by a high explosive panzer shell was fired through a hollowed out French farmhouse and landed about 20 feet away from him.
He told me about all the people he helped and saved as a medic, he told me about his work in radiology and research after the war. He showed me a hallway that was quite literally wallpapered with academic honors he’d earned as a researcher. He told me about how his first Fourth of July back was a horror show for him because fireworks and German artillery make very similar sounds. He told me about how he woke up in a cold sweat well over half a century later hearing the screams of German artillery men being burned alive with flamethrowers, or hearing his own voice apologizing to the young German soldier he stabbed in the heart at Point Du Hoc.
He told me that when he was asked to present at a medical conference in Germany 25 years after the war ended that he was so scared he couldn’t step off the plane, and that his wife had to hold his hand and lead/pull him with her. He said he was not scared because he was worried about being triggered, but because he knew that someone somewhere outside of that plane had the course of their life irreparably altered by his military service. That to someone out there he was the cause of immense suffering and harm. That some unwitting waiter could be the son of the Nazi Officer he stabbed in the heart with a 12-inch hunting knife. That some woman asking questions in the audience would be the daughter or widow of a man he sent to judgement with a .30-06. He was scared that they would hate him.
He knew what the Nazi’s had done, he knew better than anyone I’d ever met. He’d watched the documentaries, he’s seen the PoWs returning from camps, he’d seen the civilians massacred and tortured by their regime, but he also knew that among the monsters were people like him - idealistic 20-somethings who only wanted to make the world better and were ripped away from that life by the Nazi war machine. And he spent his whole life mourning the loss of innocence and peace that was forced on so many people by such a corrupt power.
To be honest I don’t know if I could do that, but he could. He told me he could still feel the dead and lost with him, both when he slept and when he woke. He told me he thought he’d go to his grave never having told a word of this to anyone. That the stories of him and his friends and allies would disappear silently with him and those like him. That he had wanted that until he realized that he didn’t have to sell out to share the stories - that he could give the stories away for free to someone who would love the people in them, and not just the content of them. He didn’t want his stories to be used as Patriotic Pornography by some TV network or magazine. He wanted the people he knew to be respected, he wanted their memories to be honored and loved, and he entrusted me, a 12-year-old “boy” to do that.
He told me for years afterwards that after telling me these stories that he slept better than he ever had. That by sharing the stories with someone who could hear Him over the din of victory and glory and honor and revisionistic history. Someone who could see the man in the story and not just see the plot of a battle being won. He wanted to be human, and he wanted the people he saw die to be human too - everyone, not just the people on his side. He wanted someone to see and to know the anguish of having to look someone in the eye as heartblood muddies the ground beneath them and hope that they understand that this was not an act of love or hatred but an act of desperation. To hope that you had just taken out One Of The Bad Ones instead of a medical student or a poet who had been drafted. He wanted me to see how hard he had worked since then to build a world without scarcity, to build a world of peace. He wanted me to know SO badly that the cost of violence, any violence, even necessary violence, is always ALWAYS paid by both parties involved.
I think about the rise of the new right wing - the new Nazi movement’s traction in politics, and I feel sad and scared - the world that Johnathan J Yobaggy, my neighbor, my friend, and my hero, worked SO hard to build is being done away with by people who do not understand the cost of the path they are entering. I can see brief moments of recognition in the eyes of some of the people I mentioned - The former young men’s president who immediately regrets misgendering me and hen he makes eye contact with me and sees Me staring back at him and not a faceless “ideology.” I can hear it in the voice of my uncle who quietly comes up to me to apologize for some homophobic comment he made absentmindedly. I can see it in the eyes of racists and sexists being interviewed on TV when they realize that they didn’t vote for a concept, they voted for a real thing. And honestly, I have mixed emotions about it. Because while I understand frustration with the status quo, the importance of basic human needs like affordable good and rent, and I know the fear that comes with feeling powerless, I also can’t help but grieve the endless wheel of history bringing us back to this God Damned Fucking Place again. I hope we can avoid this fate, not just for our sake but for the sake of everyone who has ever tried to make the world safer. For everyone who has ever tried to make up for human nature, for everyone who has ever placed themselves on the offering plate to protect others from the cruelty they know lies just under the surface of mankind’s tenuous grip on progress. I want SO badly for there to be a solution to this, for the people who idolize the Nazi party and the impact of fascism to see that the price of this path is paid in more than just blood but in soul. That they’re allowing themselves to be devoured too. I want for the centrists and the fence sitters and the idealists who want to “change it from the inside” to see how dangerous our politics have become. I want them to see that they’re losing the things that make them great in exchange for a security blanket that’s now become far far far too small to ever work for them again.
Safety found in the past is already gone, and safety found in the future is only as real as a daydream. That any ideology that promises that by “joining us now we’ll make things rough so we can make things safe in a decade” is a promise made by those who will not have to fight the battles they send you to.
I don’t know if America was ever really great, but as long as John was alive it felt great to me. There is no ideology that can replace a neighbor. No tax plan that can replace a friend. No grocery bill that can replace community and connection. No amount of budget cuts that can replace kindness. No amount of suffering from people I hate that will ever make more love. I don’t know how to make America great, but I know how to make my America great and it is not by selling out integrity and compassion and community and fucking humanity to make eggs and gas cheaper. It is by seeing and hearing the people around me. I’m not Mormon anymore, but I still know the value of mourning with those that mourn and comforting those that stand in need of comfort. I’m not Christian anymore but I still have Eyes That Can See and Ears That Can Hear. I want to make this all stop but I can’t stop the collective power of tens of millions of people so instead I listen to my MAGA coworker tell me about how sick her kid was last week. I make jokes with my Young Men’s leader. I hug my uncle. I let them see me fully, as a human and not an ideology. As a woman and not the concept of gender. As a whole person and not someone who can be easily summarized or boiled down into something short and quippy. And I let them know I can see them fully too, and I can see all their humanity as easily as they can see mine. I just have to hope that this works - that enough people can See and Hear the people in their lives who matter to them to bring them out of their personal world of forms and into the real world.
I am probably, honestly, just spiraling a little bit. I took my ADHD meds today and in addition to helping me focus they make me a little anxious so I doubt things are as bad right now as they seem. But just in case there’s any truth to the way things seem to be going, remember, and I mean this seriously: Be kinder to each other, be gayer, and read more Terry Pratchett.
And for the love of god day hello to your neighbor.
#tgirl swag#mormon#ex mormon#exmormon#trans pride#trans stuff#politics#fascisim#tw violence#ptsd tw#tw blood#wwii history#wwii#naziism#patriotic#gnu terry pratchett#sir terry pratchett#terry pratchett#silver star#vulnerability#my hero#tw transphobes#probably spiralling#catastrophizing#or maybe not#but God I hope I am
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assigned omega by auntie yi yi…….
#oh my god#happy pride 🌈#who is she. i need her lore. singaporeans of tumblr tell me more please#this was the second video on my tiktok feed after i landed here and then i had to scroll through her entire page of course#and ask friends and colleagues living and working here WHO IS SHE#and they were all like….. i’ve never seen her on my fyp before what have you been liking and watching#that an auntie screaming about omegaverse is on your feed#and i was like hahahaha normal stuff. you know. 😶🌫️#okay to be fair her profile doesn’t say she’s singaporean but i’m assuming#maybe she’s malaysian???#i can’t distinguish the accents still#anyway i love her#flashing tw#autoplay warning#tiktok#pride#pride month#lgbt#lgbtq#assigned omega by auntie yi yi........
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a nosy socialite at an event, leaning down: “Oh Richard, it must be so hard for you in that house, what with Bruce’s…proclivities for nighttime guests.”
Dick Grayson, fully aware at age 13 that Bruce Wayne is a Loser™ whose only “nighttime guest” is Clark Kent, who comes over to “review cases” with Bruce before/after patrol while both of them awkwardly ignore any and all tension between them: “Something like that.”
#thoughts#bruce wayne#batman#dc#dick grayson#Robin#superbat#Clark Kent#Superman#socialite: your dad is a *whore#dick: god if ONLY#MAYBE THEYD STOP AWKWARDLY PRETENDING NOT TO FLIRT THEN
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Ford "Icarus didn't flap hard enough" Pines
#my stuff#gravity falls#gravity falls au#stanford pines#stanley pines#spoiler: he does revive stanley in the end. after a lot of “hiccups”.#or maybe he doesn't... you'll never know... unless i draw it#anyways you're gonna have to piece these drawings together into a time line yourself. god knows i'm not drawing them in order#frankenghost au
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A Quintesson attack leaves Megatron in need of repairs.
Let’s pretend this takes place early where Megatron isn’t incredibly paranoid about back stabbing (Starscream) yet
#transformers#maccadam#transformers one#megatron#soundwave#starscream#shockwave#d-16#tf one#I didn’t draw it out but megs is super conflicted abt taking his cog out#for obvious reasons#maybe he respects/trusts/looks up to the high guard since they’re#the high guard#after megs leaves they’re like wait. why were they having such small bots mining#one fall and that tiny frame can get dented and oh god he’s just a kid what the hell#reason to kill sentinel number 37#anyways they’re sillies fun time to me#unrelated but FUCK tumblr decreasing quality of large pictures I was wondering why my older posts were so blurry
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Happy early Valentines day, have something completely out of my wheelhouse! I wasn't joking in my previous comic, Stobotnik has me in a stranglehold (though as a heads up to anyone who doesn't follow me: I don't expect I'll be making more, I'm sorry 😔This is definitely a one-off)
Going through some old art of mine got me missing doing stylized, cartoony stuff so I thought this would be a good opportunity to push myself to bring some of that back into my life. Unfortunately the universe had it out for this thing and tried to stop me with pneumonia (it failed HAH) and every time I got closer to finishing it, I got struck with a new, more hellish stage of illness. I had 2 other panels I wanted to do for this and just had to tap out early😭
TFW your evil gay uncles think they can fakeout makeout you but one of them is 6 ft+ and wearing bright red.
#I'd probably tricked some of you into thinking I have good taste#and that's correct. I do.#but yeah I have maybe one Stone illustration in me and god knows if I'll even get around to that (doubtful)#I've had a Mass Effect comic roughed out and haunting me for 3 weeks now and if I don't work on it I might die#stobotnik#agent stone#jimbotnik#agent stone x robotnik#sonic comic#sonic#sharky art
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second part of this! hermitcraft but following everyone's in-canon lore, featuring: grian the totally normal fisherman
third part
#coloring this took me like 7 hours of liml bdubs oh my god#but i had to get it done else itd stay unfinished forever#grian#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#hermitcraft#hermitcraft 10#art tag#next up is def gem and then maybe mumbo#desert duo#lore accurate hermitcraft au
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im sorry but i cannot stop thinking about isha's pastel memories that play during her sacrifice scene.
look at how full of colour this beautiful fuckin shot is:
it's been well established in episodes 4-6 how grim and dark the undercity has become under cait and ambessa's new rule. but look at how isha sees/remembers it - because of jinx.
jinx, who went through a severe childhood trauma that has carried over into her present self - she covers extremely destructive weapons and grenades in bright pinks and blues, neons, childlike doodles, graffiti. (joy and destruction, powder and jinx, a contrast so striking it becomes like a signature for her).
and then we see the world through isha's eyes. when we meet her in episode 2, she's running through sewers, from goons dressed in black; it's grimy and grim. and then all of her recent memories are done in these childlike pastel, almost crayon-y sketches. because what isha saw was jinx covering a dark and grim world in colours.
and so isha covered her world in colour, too.
because jinx made her world bright.
isha looked at jinx and saw the child in her. she saw powder and she saw jinx. she saw joy and destruction. and that's why jinx gave isha so much hope. isha knew the world was grim and dark - but then she watched jinx, and she learned that you can paint over all that grim darkness with neon blue spray paint.
that's why isha believed in hope. that's why in her final moments - in a scene that is lit dimly and dramatically - she sees nothing but a bright world coloured in pastels.
never underestimate the hope of a child.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#my post#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#sry tagging the shit out of this i dont wanna ruin the scene for anyone#jinx arcane#jinx and isha#isha arcane#jinx#god i just.#the thing about jinx's trauma that has been so poignant up until now being the exact thing that isha needed!!!#a child seeing the childlike behaviors of an adult and seeing it not as trauma but as bravery and hope#and it's WHY jinx has become this unwilling symbol of hope for the undercity. bc they *also* see her covering a dark world in colour#anyways.#i could say more and maybe i will later but. yeah#jinx made isha's world bright. im gonna be SICK
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For many of years I had this tradition of drawing Wirt and the beast once a year to see how much I have improved, then depression hit in 2023 and couldn't continue, but it left so really amazing art in the process
#There are 2 missing from 2015 and 2016 but those are between God and me#I lost the scanned version of the last#thats why the picture is taken with my phone#so these are from 2017 to 2022#I'm pretty proud of them#over the garden wall#otgw wirt#otgw#You can tell I was a fan of the Bad Ending AU back then...#a friend of mine once joked that I drew them closer and closer with every passing year#that at some point they would end up kissing#wwww#maybe the next one is a kiss of judas reference#who knows#my art
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I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be
a). I needed to watch that car and
b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.
It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.
Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.
So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.
She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?
And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:
"Because it was foretold."
And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.
I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.
#Mormon Jesus really wanted me to watch someone crack their bumper?#It was kind of funny to watch#like if this is gods apology i guess i can take it#a decade and a half of radio silence between former highschool friends and then one sends the other a shitpost#and maybe the friendship isnt fixed but its a channel you know?#at least we're talking again#would that all my stupid mistakes could be divine shitposts#amen#Babylon-Lore
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i really enjoyed chapter 4...kris nation rise up
#my art#fan art#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#deltarune chapter 4#chapter four was LONG but SO SO SO SO good. i cant wait to see what all the theoryheads have to say tbh#i really wanna draw kris being shy about the knife w/ susie lmfao#i have SOOOO many questions god#my conclusions re:kris though are#they're working with the knight+whoever else to try and get rid of the player/soul#and *are* malicious but kind of out of necessity#and the last line of chapter 4 makes me think that kris has doubts#and that the prophecy includes kris betraying/hurting/killing(?) either susie or ralsei#sacrificing ralsei maybe? i dunno. it's impossible to say tbh.#GAH. i think they made a promise to dess tbh. dunno. so much guessing#kris dreemurr#kris dreemur fanart#deltarune kris#deltarune fanart#deltarune art#500#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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i'll fix it
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#jimmy#this game messed with me so so bad#maybe ill have the drive to make more art of it because God. what the hell#gen art#blood cw
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Again, I had to illustrate part of the newest chapter of "The line is covered in jellyfish" by @yunuen : click for better quality as always!
#my art#the line is covered in jellyfish#jayvik#viktor#jayce talis#i have also sketched the mushrooms part and the...boner part#but I wanted to draw the things in chronological order. so here we go with Jayce having an heart attack at bossy viktor#i am sorry for the stiff movements#when i clean out my sketches to make them look good everything is kinda stiff#maybe i should post also the rough sketches#also loved all their dancing around each other. They are so dumb oh my god I LOVE IT#had to stop reading 3 times to giggle
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learning that self deprecation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.
#people will fr go ''god im such an ugly loser LOL i suck at everything i do and i should just kms“#and then go “why does no one want to be around me”#maybe because your attitude sucks. maybe because i said 'those mean things you say about yourself arent true'#and you spent five minutes arguing with me about how im wrong.#00
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