#or talks about gut issues and special interests

[barnbridges]

every single time i see some fake tism news i close tiktok down to where i only get basically only one creator who is the single most autistic creature known to man infodumping about her life, truly achieved enlightenment.

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Temporary Custody"

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Steve x ofc x Bucky; Steve x Bucky

Word Count: 4861

Tags: Dom/sub, bdsm au, dom Bucky, sub reader, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, gay sex'n'stuff, straight sex'n'stuff, Steve being a literal Golden Retriever, mental health issues, dub-con, forced submission, referenced childhood abuse and resultant mental health issues, bakery au, m/f/m, gentle domination, total power exchange

Summary: The stigma and shame of being a submissive has kept Mary unfulfilled and in the closet her whole life, until an inciting incident leads to Bucky and Steve taking her in and giving her everything she was always too afraid to ask for.

Trigger warnings: This story contains themes of eating disordered behavior, body image issues, childhood abuse, self-harm, mental illness, and alcohol abuse.

Wait! I haven't read an earlier chapter of this fic! Story Masterpost

10. S'mores

It’s the “sex play” (God, that term is so cringe) thing being on the table that builds the tension in the apartment, all of them knowing about it but none of them talking about it. Mary sure as shit doesn’t have the guts to break that ice, and now Bucky’s always deep in thought and quiet around her. And Steve, well.

Steve is like a big, mopey golden retriever who knows its humans are upset but doesn’t know how to help besides headbutting things affectionately.

Mary’s feelings for him only grow when she realizes that he really hasn’t told Bucky about that night in the kitchen: the things she’d confided about the razor and her nightmares and sneaking out to the gym. Knowing that Steve’s stuck by his word like that makes her like him and trust him a whole heck of a lot more. 

But it doesn’t solve the underlying problem. 

There’s a court hearing in front of a judge next month to revisit the custody arrangement—Next month. And one afternoon while Bucky’s out of the apartment, Steve gently informs Mary that Dr. Linda is recommending the order be extended. Jesus fucking Christ. 

And then the results to that test Linda made her take, the “Submissive Sexual Interests and Tendencies Assessment”, arrive in the mail (addressed to Bucky, because of course they would be), and Mary gets her hands on them after Bucky and Steve read them, and she’s mortified at what it says about her.

Tendencies: Passive aggression (reactive aggression in lieu of submission), emotional outbursts, low self-esteem, impulsive sexual promiscuity, self-harm, alcohol use disorder, possible co-morbidity (OCD, EDNOS, BDD). Dynamic Preferences: single dominant authority figure, structured domestic routine, service, discipline, monogamous relationship, emotional bonding. Recommendations: Following assessment review, patient is most likely to benefit from continued domestic control in a consistent (24/7) environment. Transfer of custody not recommended. Continued therapy sessions and educational courses at CDP highly recommended. Most beneficial therapeutic modalities include limited corporal discipline, sex play, and reward-based service routine.

There’s a ton of infuriating psycho babble bullshit packed into those results that she could get upset about, and she does, but Mary’s eyes track over that one, most-horrible phrase over and over again: 

“Transfer of custody not recommended.”

Fuck.

She loses sleep over it, sneaks out of the apartment in the middle of the night and does cardio at the gym until she’s exhausted enough to head back home and pass out. It pisses her off that this is such a thing now. She doesn’t want to be special needs, she should have the right to choose whether she even wants treatment or not! She resents the hell out of Bucky and Steve for having custody of her the way that they do. They’re clearly expecting her to blow up or something, after the news from Linda and the SSITA results come in. It’s so obvious that they’re walking on eggshells around her, Mary halfway wishes they’d just do something. One way or the other, it’d be better than this.

Linda claims that they’ve expressed “positive feelings” about a sexual dynamic, but if they have, they sure aren’t expressing it to Mary. She suspects that most of that positivity has come from Steve, and probably only because he’s a golden retriever in human form who just wants to do what’s right and good, not because he or Bucky are particularly attracted to her.

While she has managed to clean herself up quite a bit since moving in with them, Mary isn’t delusional: she realizes that Steve and Bucky are very attractive men, whereas she’s just average. She tries to tell herself she’s fine with that. She knows Bucky and Steve could probably get like, a supermodel to sleep with them if they really wanted to. Mary’s not in their league, and that’s okay. 

But if they’re not attracted to her that way then they should at least have the decency to just say so! At least then she could find someone else, get back on Tinder, or even sign up for one of those ProDoms that the CDP has. Darcy said Thor was good, so maybe Mary could request him? The way that Darcy had described the guy, he sounds like he's a hunka hunka burning Nordic god. Mary could go for that.

She brings it up casually over dinner, framing it lightheartedly, and Bucky literally crushes his water glass in his prosthetic hand. “What?” he snaps, frowning down at the mess he’s just made. “No.”

Mary huffs and goes to fetch the desserts while Steve gets the waste bin and begins scraping the broken pieces of glass into it like it’s just another Tuesday. “I don’t see why not,” Mary complains from over at the counter. She’s pulled the plates out from the fridge and grabs the butane torch for the meringue.

“Jesus,” Bucky exclaims when he sees the industrial sized torch she's wielding. “Where’d you get that?”

Mary purses her lips as she focuses on achieving the perfect amount of toastedness. “Hardware store,” she mutters. “So why can’t I go see one of the ProDom’s again?” She purposefully over-torches Bucky’s meringue, because she can tell that this isn’t going to go her way. “Sounds like a win-win. You don’t have to deal with me, I can meet new people, and insurance pays for it. What exactly is the problem?” She’s trying to force him to admit that he doesn’t want to Dom her sexually, trying to get him to see that something’s gotta give and he’ll have to let her use one of the ProDoms eventually if that’s what the severity of her “condition” requires (gigantic ‘Ew’). 

But frustratingly, he refuses to engage with her on the topic. “It’s a no, Mare,” he tells her sternly. “Pros are for people who have more experience. You don’t.”

Mary seriously doubts that. “Linda didn’t say that,” she argues, carrying the plates over to the table and handing the nice one to Steve and the burnt one to Bucky. 

He pulls it closer to himself and raises an eyebrow at it. “Linda’s being diplomatic,” he mutters. “I thought you said you were making s’mores?” 

Yesterday, Bucky had been talking with Steve about how much they both missed their old camping trips they used to take. The two of them must’ve waxed poetic over campfire s’mores for ten whole minutes. So Mary thought this would be an excellent way to butter them up. Apparently not.

She sniffs and picks up her fork. “They are s’mores. It’s a plated dessert, Bucky. An interpretation. It’s not literal.”

He grunts and peers at his portion, poking it dubiously with his fork. “What’s it made of?”

Mary heaves a sigh and snottily recites: “Honey Sablé, 70% Valrhona cremeux, cold-smoked Italian meringue, torched ‘mallow, Graham crumb streusel, and tempered chocolate stick for garnish." Both Bucky and Steve stop poking at their plates and just stare at her for a second. 

“Sounds good,” Steve chirps, and digs into his.

Mary stares Bucky down, until he too, deigns to eat the apparently too fancy for him version of a  s’more. “Oh, damn,” he says after the first bite, looking taken-aback. “I can taste the smoke.”

Mary preens, then asks again about the ProDom. “Well if I’m not getting it there then who the heck’s supposed to fuck me?” she winds up blurting out of frustration.

When that direct reference doesn’t elicit any response from Bucky besides a barrage of bossy instructions for after-dinner cleanup, Mary loses a bit of the hope she’d been holding onto that maybe Linda was right about them being attracted to her. She just gave him the perfect fucking opening, and he didn’t take it. She gets the kitchen cleaned up from dinner, resigning herself to another evening of platonic domination that doesn’t quite hit the spot. 

Nightly drops are nice. Not as nice as they were in the beginning, the effects having waned quite a bit from what they once were, but still better than no drops at all. 

Mary sits on her pillow on the floor, head on the couch cushion next to Bucky’s thigh, listening vaguely to the sound of the television while she enjoys the feeling of his fingers carding through her hair, lightly massaging her scalp. It’s been a while now, and she doesn’t think she’s going to get any deeper. It’s late, already they’ve watched two full episodes of their show, and Mary’s got work tomorrow. It’ll be bedtime soon. 

A big yawn works its way up in her throat, and Bucky chuckles when it finally breaks free. “Tired?” he asks.

“Mmhm.” She inhales deeply and sits up, sleepy and squinting. It takes a moment before her eyes adjust to the darkness of the room and Bucky’s form sitting right in front of her. Wow, she’d been really close to him, hadn’t realized just how close. Had she been … hugging his shin? God, she hopes not. Not like she hasn’t spent whole evenings fantasizing about rubbing her face all over his thighs and his— Nope. Not gonna think about that when he’s sitting right there. She tears her eyes away and forces that train of thought to stop right in its metaphorical tracks. 

“You good, Hon?” Bucky asks, his soft voice drawing her attention back from her own head. She looks up and sees his fond expression, his relaxed posture. Wonders if he’s in Domspace at all. Probably not.

Then her eyes land on the line of his cock at the front of his pants. 

He’s hard. Not very, but some. Underneath his sweats his dick is chubbed up enough that it creates a slight bulge against the fabric. Mary freezes, staring for too long before she’s able to tear her eyes away. When she does, and she looks up, Bucky’s watching her with an inscrutable expression. Her breath catches and her mind goes absolutely dumb.

Does he want ..? Should she ..?

She looks back down at it, at the relaxed splay of his thighs. She wets her lips and thinks about reaching forward and sliding her hand over it, what it would feel like, if it would twitch, if Bucky would shiver or make a sound. She wants to touch it, and seriously considers doing so, but when she looks up at Bucky again, he doesn’t look like he’s excited, or anticipating her touching him. He looks … resigned. 

“Tired?” he asks kindly. "Do you maybe ... Do you need anything else tonight? From me?"

Mary's lips part, heart leaping at what that might mean ... but then Bucky looks over at Steve with visible yearning in his eyes, and the two of them share one of their silent conversations, brows pinched and expectant. 

Oh. Right. Bucky’s just horny and eager to get Steve into bed, wants to wrap this up. Mary wonders if he really can’t tell that she's not far down like she used to get. Maybe he thinks this is all she needs and he really isn’t going to take Linda’s advice seriously. Mary should be happy about that. After all, it’s what she wanted. Isn’t it?

She balls up the hand that she’d been imagining touching Bucky with and nods. “Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, I’m tired. Think I’m gonna … go get ready for bed.”

She glances over at Steve, but he looks mopey and eager to get out of the room just like his husband does, cementing the notion in Mary’s mind that they don’t want to be with her that way. No doubt they will if push comes to shove, because Linda’s told them Mary needs a sexual dynamic, but it’s not something they’re excited about. Mary knows men: They’re not the sort to sit around and wait for a girl they like to make the first move. And certainly not a man like Bucky, of all people. 

She tries not to be hurt by it, but still gets a little weepy while brushing her teeth, the unintended rejection stinging more when she’s down in the tingly, vulnerable throes of subspace. She spits, rinses, flosses, rinses. Grabs the mouthwash that she hates to use but that Bucky has ordered her to always use after brushing her teeth at night. 

She says goodnight to Steve and Bucky through the safety of her closed bedroom door, and despite her voice being warbly, neither one of them knocks on the door to see what’s up. That drives the point home, and Mary tucks herself into bed with the mindset that she’ll let them know they don’t have to sleep with her just to be nice or to help her or whatever. She’ll just find a way to convince them that she really is fine with going to one of the ProDoms, and that it really is a better arrangement.

Better than a pity fuck, at least.

It’s disappointing to know that Mary prefers the ProDom, that she doesn’t want to make their relationship sexual, but Bucky gets it, and he knows that he shouldn’t be surprised. He’s not exactly an easy person to get along with, after all. He’s prickly as fuck, grumpy, bossy, selfish. And aside from her natural submission, Mary’s personality clashes with his horribly. Steve is essential, but he just isn’t enough to successfully buffer between the two of them—not enough to make her want them that way, at least. 

Bucky can see the profound disappointment in Steve’s eyes that night, as Mary doesn’t react the way they were both hoping, doesn’t take the offerings Bucky puts out.

They have to let it be her choice, of course, having planned it out and discussed it between just the two of them. It's all anybody ever talks about in the D/s community these days: making sure subs are the initiators at key moments like this, not letting domination creep in and become manipulation-so easy to do with how naturally vulnerable and people pleasing submissives are. Gone are the days when Doms like Bucky were encouraged to guide new partners in the "right" direction. That leads to too much trauma, too many subs in situations they don't really want. Mary has to be left to make the choice on her own, it's her right.

But it's still the hardest fucking thing for him to do, to just sit there and wait passively. And it still stings when she looks straight at his erection and declares that she’s ready for bed. Well, if it wasn’t clear before.

Steve looks like a friggin’ kicked puppy, as he stands outside of Mary’s closed bedroom door and bids her goodnight. Bucky nudges him in the direction of their own room and murmurs, “Come on, Sweetheart.” 

In their bedroom, they each get undressed. Steve continues to mope, so Bucky goes up to him and places a hand on his shoulder and rubs. “Hey. Don’t sulk. You’ve still got me.” Steve’s mouth twitches in a small smile and Bucky’s heart flares with fondness for him. “You wanna play a game?” he offers, leaning in and kissing him once on the lips. “Mm?” He looks down pointedly to both of their boners that haven’t completely lagged since tv time ended.

“Okay.” 

Bucky hums and turns, putting his left shoulder out. “Lend a guy a hand?” Steve obliges. He removes the prosthetic arm with practiced motions. Bucky moans quietly at how good it feels to get the heavy weight off. “Fuck.” He rolls his shoulders, cracks his neck each way with a blissed out groan. “Yes.”

“You’ve been wearing it more than usual, lately,” Steve points out, going over to set it on the table at Bucky’s side of the bed. “Why?”

He already knows: Bucky can tell from the way he asks it. He grunts and looks away, refraining from answering. He normally only wears the arm to work and to the gym, skipping it around the house or when he’s just got simple errands to run. There’s a surprising amount he can do just fine without the use of two arms, and he’s been confident about being seen in public without it for a long time now, thanks to Steve and their friends at the V.A. Being self conscious about it again after all these years isn’t something Bucky wants to admit out loud or think about, but Steve isn’t stupid. He can put two and two together. 

“Babe,” he says softly, walking back over to stand behind him. He wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist and noses into his neck. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Bucky inhales deeply. “I know. I’m not.” Steve makes a sound that clearly says he doesn’t believe that. But Bucky doesn’t want to talk about it, so he reaches back with the only arm he has to grab playfully at the side of Steve’s ass. “Go in the bathroom. Get the water going how I like.”

Steve groans and thunks his forehead against the back of Bucky’s neck. “Not that game,” he complains, though there’s no conviction to it. He slinks off towards the bathroom to go do as he’s been told. “I hate that game.”

“Fuck you. You love that game.” 

Steve shoots him the finger from over his shoulder, but something about his naked body and tight little ass being on display strips the gesture of its animosity. He disappears into the bathroom and Bucky walks over to their bedroom dresser to grab a hair tie, still snickering. He sobers when he takes one from the valet tray and realizes that he’ll have to have Steve tie his hair back. That’s one thing he never could figure out how to do one handed. He stands there and looks in the mirror above the dresser, studying the left side of his body in a way that he rarely does anymore. 

He’s gotten so used to it: his life with Steve, whom he knows down to his bones accepts him unconditionally. He’s almost forgotten what it feels like to be self conscious about his body. Bucky hasn’t known how to talk about it, and Mary hasn’t asked. She’s seen him with his sleeves rolled up to the elbow, or in tee shirts at the gym, but that’s all so far. Sometimes he’ll catch her looking, but he’s got no clue what she’s thinking. He considers his reflection, looks at the scars and puckered skin, the implanted base of the arm where his stump used to be. He doesn’t like the uncomfortability of being critical of his body again. In a way, he almost resents Mary for it, for making that feeling come back after all these years. Silly, he knows. 

“Babe?” Steve’s voice calls out from the bathroom. Bucky’s ears register the sound of rushing water. “You coming?” 

Bucky inhales deeply and decides it doesn’t matter anyway. Mary wants a ProDom, not them, so he doesn’t have to stress over what she thinks about any part of his body, let alone the one part he doesn’t have.

“Yeah.” He turns his back to the judgmental mirror and heads towards his very non-judgmental best guy.

“Okay. Stop clenching.”

Steve exhales shakily, but he does obey, body slumping back against the end of the tub as he relaxes his muscles. “Fuck,” he breathes, overwhelmed.

“Hand too, Baby.”

His hand abandons his dick in the bathwater. “Ungh.”

Bucky smiles lazily and rubs the side of his foot against Steve’s hip in praise. “Good boy.”

They’re in the bathtub together, opposite ends, legs tangled. Their combined bulk displaces the water all the way up to above their shoulders, but that’s part of the game: they’re not allowed to splash on the floor, so they can’t jerk off very hard or fast. First one to splash water on the floor is the automatic loser and has to bottom the next time they fuck (Bucky added that little caveat because he’s very good at not splashing, whereas Steve is hopelessly clumsy and overeager ). “How you doing, Sweetheart?” he asks, drinking in the sight of Steve with his lips parted, chest heaving, squirming. He’s pink from temple to tits, flushed from the bathwater and arousal both, and Bucky loves it. “You’re not close already, are you?” he tuts, grinning. “So sensitive.”

“Buck,” Steve croaks, heated eyes dragging over Bucky’s body at the other end of the tub where he’s still gently jerking himself off. “Please.”

Bucky affords himself another toe-curlingly good swipe over the head of his dick before he nods. “Okay. Slow. Just like me”

Steve huffs and wraps his hand back around himself, stroking his dick in slow, measured strokes, just like Bucky said. Bucky’s guts warm and another heady rush of dominance swirls low in his belly at watching Steve do exactly as he says. “You can start workin’ it again, too,” he says.

Steve moans gratefully. “Thank you. Fuck.” His abs start clenching, his body straining again with visible tension as he works the Aneros that’s seated up inside him. Under the water, his knees move in and out in that instinctive motion as he tries to rock it just right. But it’s hard to do it with the water so high, and more than once he catches himself and holds back at the sight of the bathwater sloshing precariously close to the lip of the tub. At one point he gasps and his eyes slam shut, and Bucky figures the toy must’ve shifted to press even more directly against his prostate. 

“Ooh, does that feel good, Stevie?”

Steve peeks his eyes open, glaring across the way at him. “You know it does.”

Bucky does, in fact, know exactly how good it feels—because he’s got another of the exact same toy inside of himself, right now. “I don’t know why you still agree to play this game,” he taunts, grunting from the effort of holding back his own moan as his prostate gets a firm prod from the head of the toy. “You—nngh—you always wind up losing.”

“Yeah, well …” Steve’s throat bobs as he swallows heavily. “Maybe I don’t mind you coming out on top, sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” Bucky scoffs, but he’s breathing heavier than he was thirty minutes ago, his composure slipping the longer he works the toy inside himself and jerks himself off agonizingly slowly underneath the water. In fact, he’s not even sure it even counts as jerking off at this slow a pace.

Edging is something he’d introduced Steve to early on in their relationship, as soon as he’d realized how delightfully sensitive his new boyfriend was. And Steve, the big idiot, had worried Bucky wouldn’t like it, had actually thought of it as a negative! An absurd notion that Bucky promptly disabused him of. Watching his ungodly sexy blond behemoth of a husband whine and squirm and struggle to hold himself in check is one of the fucking hottest things Bucky’s ever seen—and he’s seen a lot. He’d been a bit of a manwhore back in his heyday, racking up the bodies as he fought to find himself as a Dom and accept the body an IED had left him with.

Steve, his overly-sensitive, glorious hunk of a then-boyfriend, had helped him to do both. And it’s times like this where Bucky remembers just how goddamn lucky he is. Having Steve to love and fuck around with feels like the best gift in the world. 

At the other end of the tub, the water sloshes as something he’s done to himself makes Steve’s breath hitch in another helpless moan. He tosses his head back for a moment, eyes clamped shut as his expression crumples beautifully and he whimpers. Bucky’s ass clenches down hard in arousal at the sight, which only makes the toy in his ass rub over his prostate that much better. His cock throbs as his pleasure flares dangerously high. Fuck, he wants to come. 

Licking his lips, he decides it's time to end this. His balls are pulled up too close to his body, taut and full and aching for release. Trying to school his breathing into something resembling nonchalance is a lost cause, and his face feels almost as flushed as Steve’s looks right now. Bucky decides to call it, because even though he’s the automatic favorite to win this game every time, he is capable of losing, if he gets too caught up in ogling Steve’s body and reactions and doesn’t focus enough on playing his cards right. “Okay,” he finally says, smirking when Steve’s head jerks back to attention, his irises visibly flaring in excitement. “Yeah, Baby. It’s time.”

“Fuck.”

“You ready for the home stretch?” He waggles his eyebrows and lets his head rest back against the tub, spreading his legs wider and keeping his eyes on Steve. “Gotta keep up,” he instructs, even though Steve already knows how this goes. When Bucky tightens his hand and speeds up the pace of how fast he’s jerking himself off, Steve copies him. That’s how it is at the end of this—totally-rigged-in-Bucky’s-favor—game. They both jerk off at the pace that Bucky sets, and the first one to splash water on the floor or come is the loser. It’s not very fair, but Bucky never claimed he was a fair guy. He is, in fact, selfish as fuck. 

Lucky for him, Steve’s into that.

“Fuck,” Steve pants from his end of the tub. He slides down lower, keeping more of his body under the water in an attempt to prevent splashing. It’s a futile effort, though, because he’s doomed to lose anyway with the faster pace that Bucky’s set. Already, he’s going lobster red in the face, brow pinched and desperate, knees knocking the sides of the tub as he compulsively works the toy in his ass. 

The arousal in Bucky’s gut coils tighter at the sight. “Watch my hand,” he warns, when he notices Steve slacking off. “Gotta match it, Baby.”

“I am.”

“Tighter,” he says, eyes gleaming. “And stop avoiding the head. I can see you cheatin’ over there, Punk.”

Steve whimpers, and Bucky knows that he really wasn’t going as tight as he is, because Steve’s hand changes its hold and he starts getting the head of his dick with the same intensity that Bucky is. Bucky grins open mouthed, panting. “Atta boy.”

“You should—ugn.” Steve grimaces. “Should get a penalty, for being cut. I should get an extra, nnnh, th-thirty seconds, at least.”

Bucky laughs, because trust Steve to think of a sportsman’s solution to the inequity of their dicks. Steve being uncut means that it takes less intense stimulation for him to come. They both know this, Bucky loves this, and again: he never claimed the game was fair. “No penalty,” he grunts, speeding up his pace even further. Steve’s eyes widen but he matches it. Bucky grits his teeth. He can hold out long enough. Steve’ll blow in seconds at this pace. 

And sure enough, it’s not even twenty seconds later when Steve is crying out, body tensing and muscles straining gorgeously as he seizes up and starts to come. “Agh!” His knees fling out hard and hit the sides of the tub, splashing water over the lip to the floor below. But he hasn’t even noticed, he’s so lost to his orgasm. His asshole is twitching, sucking on the Aneros as the contractions of his body pull the toy up against his prostate again and again, drawing the pleasure out. He shoves down hard in the water and shouts louder, as though he’s getting a second orgasm on top of the first. “Ohnfuck …” 

Bucky groans as he watches it happen: Steve’s gorgeous face and juddering hips, big hand wringing up hard underneath the head the whole way through. The fucking sounds he makes, Jesus wept. It’s leagues better than any porn Bucky’s ever seen. “Fuck, Baby,” he praises. “Yes. Fuck that’s so hot …” 

Steve’s hand keeps working the whole way through, only abandoning his cock once it’s fully spent and softening, the cloudy ribbons of his cum floating away in the bathwater. “Fuck,” he exhales hugely once it’s done, letting his body go lax and slump so far down that only his face is above the waterline.

Bucky grunts and spreads his legs wider, not heeding the splashing rule now that he’s already won. The water splashes precariously as he shoves his hips down and down and down, squeezing the shape of the toy inside so fucking perfectly. Fuck, it feels fucking good working over his spot like that. “Oghnnn,” he pants, grunting and groaning and jerking his cock hard. “Fuck, Baby. You’re so fucking pretty. Fuck. M’gonna cum …” 

Steve gives a sated hum from his end of the tub. Bucky can sense him shifting in the water, and then gasps when he feels the ball of Steve’s foot gently press up on his balls. His eyes fly open and he looks down. “Oh, shit,” he whispers. “Fuck, fuck.”

Steve grins and rubs his foot against him. And Bucky doesn’t have that fetish, but there’s something so fucking perverse about seeing Steve’s toes up against his balls that it turns his brain to mush anyway and pushes him right on over into orgasm. He shoots off beneath the water, stroking and thrusting and moaning—and probably splashing water all over the floor just as badly as Steve ever has.

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[ilikereadingthisiswhatilike]

Joel Miller 

A collection of Joel x reader stories. None of the stories are mine.

No Smut 

Brain Scramblies @strang3lov3 Summary: Bubbly and sweet Reader slips and falls at Tommy and Maria’s anniversary party, hitting her head hard on the floor. Tommy tasks Joel, her grumpy patrol partner, with getting her home safe. In her dazed state, she spills to Joel how she really feels about him! Basically two idiots dancing around their feelings for each other. Warnings: Alcohol Special Tags: Fluff

You Don't Belong @toxic-seduction Summary: You really like Joel, more than you’ve ever liked someone before. But the most important person in his life absolutely hates your guts and you have no idea what to do. Warnings: Angst, Fighting, Lanugage Special Tags: Fluff

Old Soul @softlyspector Summary:  You’re never quite sure of your place in Joel’s life. Everyone else seems to know exactly what it is. Warnings: Angst, Mental health, PTSD Special Tags: Fluff

Seams @fuckyeahdindjarin Summary: Joel has to visit the local seamstress. Warnings: Language, Sexual Tension Special Tags: Multichapter

Your My Sunshine! @littlelou22 Summary: You and Joel are polar opposites. you are sunshine while he is cloudy. but you’re his sunshine and he doesn’t quite know how to handle that. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Pretend @littlelou22 Summary: Joel ends things with you, leaving you in the dark as to why. Will the two of you get back together or stay apart? Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Lovers and Love. @peterparkersnose Summary: Y/N tries to hide that she is pregnant and Joel finds out. Warnings: Angst, Pregnancy Special Tags: Fluff

Your Gentle Comfort @mentallyunstablegoldfish Summary: Your interest in boys didn’t really exist in your life. It wasn’t until you met your new teacher and had a relationship growing with him that you realized, you wanted a man. Warnings: Emotional neglect, Kidnaping, Sexual Tenson Special Tags: Teacher AU, Multichapter

Smut

Hostage @ATTICRISSFINCH Summary: When you get lost in the woods, a stranger offers to help you get back to your camping site. When your gut tells you to run, you run–until he catches you. Warnings: Rape, Kidnaping, Angst, Weponds, Blood, Violnace, Degradation Special Tags: Serial Killer AU

Bail @Toxicanonymity Summary: Joel gets a call from Tommy in the middle of the night. When he gets home all he wants to do is spend time with the reader. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

Talk Me Down @hellishjoel Summary: You’re finally ready to sit down and discuss your obvious daddy issues. Your therapist, Joel, has his methods. Warnings: Mental Health Special Tags: Age Gap, Therapist Au

Carnal   @pascalsbby Summary: You thought you had it all figured out before him. Animals. Tender, primal flesh. That’s what we are at the end of the day, no? Fucking, testing one another and then eating each other alive, heart first. Maybe the heart is the sweetest part of the body- or maybe it’s just the easiest to get to. You knew you wanted to be completely devoured by him. You wanted to fill the space between his teeth. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Voyeurism, Stalking Special Tags: Dark, Age Gap

Choke On It @djarin-dreams Summary: They’re both members of the Jackson community, often put on patrols together. Reader has a penchant for destruction and rage, especially in the face of self-preservation. Sometimes, they just want to be able to let go. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Violence, Degradation Special Tags: Dark, BDSM

The Special One @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel like the taste of your blood. Warning: Blood, Kidnaping Special Tags: Vampire AU

Hot Single Dilfs In Your Area Want To Chat! @walkintotheriveranddisappear Summary: Hot single dilfs in your area want to chat, and you're more than willing to comply. Warning: Language, Voyeurism, Age Gap Special Tags: Multichapter, Dirty

Sleep Bliss @creedslove Summary: You and Joel used to share a sleeping bag when you were on the road. Once you got to Jackson, he made sure to put an end to this habit, but now his nightmares are back to haunt him again and he needs your help Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Masturbation

Burn For Me @psychedelic-ink Summary: Joel looks after you, provides for you, fucks you until the sun comes up; his only ask is that you never leave his apartment, not willing to face another loss. One day when you find the door unlocked, you decide to take stroll, promising yourself that you’ll be back before he returns home. Warnings:  Dubious Consent, Special Tags: Stockholm Syndrome

Pay Girl @the-comorbidity Summary: Sex was a commodity in the QZ, and Joel Miller would do (and pay) damn near anything to have you Warnings: Prostitution, Language Special Tags: None

Kept Woman @slow-motionlovepotion Summary:  Pleasure has a price and Joel is willing to pay whatever it takes to have you Warnings: Language Special Tags: Possessive, Multichapter

Winter Coat @dev1lm4n Summary:  You gave a blowjob to trade for a winter coat back in the dark days, little do you know, that same guy is now your neighbor. Warnings: Language, Prostitution Special Tags: Multichapter

Prostar @dev1lm4n Summary: There's one thing you've been obsessed with and it comes in the form of a man trapped inside your 13-inch laptop. who would've guessed that wicked fantasies would be a part of your host family and a teacher to all your risky endeavors? Warnings: Language, Special Tags: Multichapter, Pornstar AU, Age Gap, Dirty

Fatherless @weirdfangirl Summary: You offer yourself to a complete stranger in order to survive. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Possessive, BDSM

Virgin Patrol @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel just wants you. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Virgin Reader

Snack Brake @joelscruff Summary:  You’re just can't keep quite. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

My Boyfriends Dad @jksprincess10 Summary:  When you meet your boyfriend at his family house, you find out he’s at a party and cheating on you. Your boyfriend’s dad offers to take care of you and show you what a real man is like. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel, Dirty

Quicky @joelscruff Summary: Joel is your boyfriend’s dad and you’re fucking him in secret. that’s it. reader is of legal age. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

Jealous @eufezco Summary: You're a little jealous of Tess. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: None

Daddy Issues @alien-magnolia Summary: Reader has new Daddy Warnings: None Special Tags: Daddy Kink, Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

What you’re missing @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel use reader in her sleep. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Somnophlia, Dark

Making Diner @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel uses reader while she cooks. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

House Arrest @shadeysprings Summary: Your mom goes to attend a work conference for a couple of days, leaving you home alone with her husband. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Step-Incest

Pillow Princess @ninebluehearts Summary: Reader is a Pillow Princess Warnings: None Special Tags: Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

i wanna be your lover @shellshocklove  Paring: Joel Miller X Reader Summary: Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred? Warning: None Special Tag: Dirty, Porn Star AU

give in @cupofjoel Summary: Joel shows you how to love yourself the way you deserve. Warnings: None Special Tag: Soft

Red Light @kiwisbell Summary: The men you keep bringing home are no good for you. It's up to your landlord Joel to protect you from heartbreak.  Warnings: Murder Special Tag: Landlord AU

Truth or Dare @joelscruff Summary: harmless game of truth or dare ends with you tied up in a certain mysterious neighbor's garage. Warnings: Age gap Specials Tags: Bondage, Dirty

Crave @allfoolsinluv Summary: You've been babysitting for Joel and Tess for quite some time now. It's a good gig to have while you're working towards your degree. You like them a bit more than you probably should. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Muilty chapter.

Copycat Killer @beskarandblasters Summary: Joel is a famous singer and Copycat Killer is an obsessed fan. She’s willing to do anything and go anywhere to learn more about Joel. Warnings: Drinking, Drugs, Dub con, Specials Tags: Rock star Au, Stalker Au

Ft. Tess Servopoulos (No Smut)

Gone Soft @blathannabeaga Summary: They are soft only for you. Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

Misunderstanding @pettyprocrastination Summary: You misunderstood Tess and Joel relationship Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

My ex boyfriend’s parents @jksprincess10  Summary: After discovering Chad was cheating on you, Joel offered you to  show you what a real man felt like. Now, his wife was taking part of it as well. Warnings: Mentions of Cheating Special Tag: Poly

Smut

Strangle Love @ozarkthedog Summary:  Joel & Tess find you beaten and bloody on the streets in the q zone. they bring you to their place to nurse you back to health but when you try to leave they aren’t so quick to let you go. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Drug Use Special Tags: Poly, Dark

Mare Nostrum Mediterranean Grill @punkassfrance Summary: Your first job would have been stressful enough if you didn't have to deal with mind games from Joel and Tess. But god, you couldn't bring yourself to complain. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Poly, Voyeurism

Ft. Tommy Miller (Smut)

Sharing is Caring @inlovewithquestionablecharacters Summary: The brothers decide to share you. Warnings: Possible Incest, Dirty Special Tags: Poly,

Close Your Eyes, Pay the Price for Your Paradise @ozarkthedog Summary: Hitchhikingis especially dangerous during the outbreak. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Kidnaping Special Tags: Poly, Dark, Multichapter

[writingreadinglurkingandsmirking]

The Greatest of Luxuries - Sarah Cameron x Reader

Dear Reader Duology: Part 1, Part 2

Summary: Your relationship with Sarah isn't new. Far from it. You love your girlfriend more than anything, just as you know that she loves you. But this new trend of her being almost...embarrassed to be around you? That is new. For fuck's sake...she dropped your fucking hand.

Word Count: 3.7k+

TWs/CWs: She/her pronouns used, adult/profane language, descriptions of relationship issues/relationship deterioration, mentions of a sick family member (not super specific or drawn out)

Note: I had to just throw this out there and be done working on it so sorry if it's bad lolz. Part 1 of the Sarah Cameron installment of the Dear Reader duology series I have going on here on Tumblr. I was inspired to pick this back up because I saw Ms Swift last weekend and was reminded how much I love Dear Reader. Plus, it's pride. So go lesbians, go. Part 2 of Sarah's should come up very, very shortly. And if I'm lucky I'll get Kie's out before pride month is over.

Your relationship was not new. You’d been dating Sarah Cameron for over two years now. You knew that your girlfriend cared about you immensely. She’d never been hesitant to show it before. In fact, she’d always been touchy and doting, going well out of her way to make you feel special. The first time that Sarah had kissed you in the middle of the conversation, you felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Truly. And the way that she smiled at you afterward and told you that she thought you’d never be interested? She had you. Hook, line, and sinker. So, in truth, the past two years had been nothing short of bliss. Even when there were rocky times, even when you were fighting, you two were strong together. And you loved her. You really did. More than anything.

So no, the relationship was not new. But this? This…this was.

Over the past few weeks—nearly a month now, actually, when you thought about it—Sarah had been acting…strangely. She was far less touchy, a fair bit more distant, less attentive, harder to get a hold of. In essence, she was displaying the whole arsenal of warning signs that something was going horribly wrong in your relationship. Except you couldn’t place what it was. Couldn’t think even slightly of what could’ve caused it. The first week you convinced yourself that you were crazy…just imagining things. The second week she canceled plans on you twice, citing an emergency with Kiara…who then called you half an hour later asking if you wanted to hang out with her because JJ was sick and she was bored. So, at that point, you knew you definitely weren’t crazy and that she was hiding things from you. It made you physically ill to think about so you pushed it away. You hadn’t confronted Sarah for the lies she’d told the week prior. You hadn’t said anything about you hanging out with Kie the week before when she was supposedly doing the same. You hadn’t even made a comment about how weird she’d been acting. You’d been giving her space like you knew she needed. You’d been letting her breathe, not suffocating her like she so obviously hated in her prior relationships.

But, that all brought you to the third week of this incessant hell. To this week. And you felt like you were going crazy and you couldn’t even say anything about it. The churning anxiety in your gut seemed unending. You were a strong, adult woman. By legal and literal standards you should be able to get through this. Or, at least talk to your friends to get help getting through this. But you were keenly aware that this wasn’t something you wanted to broach. It wasn’t something that you wanted to talk about. That’d make it more real. The last thing you needed was to make this worse on yourself. But, it didn’t matter what you wanted. Because this was starting to take a real, substantial toll on you. You were losing sleep at this point which just felt stupid and you felt like there was no one you could turn to. Your appetite was tanking, your focus was shit. And while normally you’d turn to your girlfriend in times of woe, this time, she was the one causing the upset.

There was no way to win.

Despite this, you did your best to remain as normal as possible when you were around anyone else. From Sarah herself, to your friends, to your parents and co-workers, you made painstaking efforts to appear like nothing was wrong. You knew it wasn’t exactly the healthiest of coping mechanisms to completely ignore the problem. But, it was all you could bring yourself to do right now. The only solace you found was in the back room at your workplace. Your parents were the premier florists in the Outer Banks. Their flower shop was a family business that stretched back three generations now on the island as insane as that felt. Standing in the back, tending to the blooms, and making bouquets were the only times that you felt like you could completely shut down the madness of your brain. Even so, a shift could only last so long. Especially without making other people suspicious of why you were working so much.

After the ten-hour shift you’d been on closing your parents’ shop, you could only be grateful that it was summer, so the sun was still shining pretty damn brightly when you headed out at 8 that evening. You made your way to the apartment that you shared with Sarah, a strange sort of dread pooling in your stomach that you did everything to ignore, and felt exhaustion coil around your very being as if trying to choke the life out of you. You trudged up the stairs, trying to paint on the most composed look you could, and unlocked the door, stepping in.

“Hey,” you heard from behind you as you closed the door. You nearly jumped, startled at the presence, and turned your head.

“Hey, Sar,” you greeted with a half-smile as you skirted around her to place your bag and keys down. You took your shoes off and made to go into the kitchen when you noticed her staring at you. You stopped dead and looked at her. “What?”

Sarah’s face contorted in a grimace for a moment. “Did you forget?” she asked, sounding almost hesitant.

The words felt like a punch to the gut. You took a long, measured breath in and looked at her. “Forget what?” I asked cautiously.

She sighed, looking down. “Never mind,” she murmured.

“No, angel, no. What’s up?” I asked. The words felt forced, exhausted. I felt like I could crawl into a hole and sleep for a year or thirty five and would still wake up tired.

“John B’s party is tonight in less than an hour. We’re supposed to be going together,” she said, staring at her hands as she played with her fingers, avoiding eye contact. “Don’t worry about it. You had a long day. I can go alone.”

That stung even more. “No,” you said immediately, an ugly combination of angry jealousy burning in your stomach at the thought. She’d been spending more than enough time with John B lately, as bitter as it was to think so. The last thing you wanted was a night of her hanging out with all your friends—including her ex—at a party while you sulked at home just because you were tired. “I’ll go with you, Sar. Of course I will. Sorry that I forgot it was tonight. Just been busy.” You ran your hand through your hair. “It’s at the beach right?”

Sarah gave you a bright smile that, for a moment, convinced you things were normal. “Yeah,” she said, nodding. She moved forward and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, body pressed flush against yours. Habitually, your arms wrapped around her kissing her back and hugging her. The pair of you remained in the embrace for a few moments even after you broke the kiss. You could hear the smile on her voice as she spoke again. “Thanks for coming. Feel like we haven’t been able to do anything in forever.”

“Yeah,” you said, struggling to keep your voice from cracking. “I know.” You inhaled shortly. “Of course. I’ll go wherever you want me to. Okay?”

“I love you,” she said, reaching a hand up to trace your cheekbone delicately. She looked into your eyes and you, again, remembered why it was so easy to love Sarah so goddamn much. You gave her a half smile and broke away, knowing that the longer she looked at you the more likely it’d be that she’d see just how upset you were. “Hey…you okay, peach? Something wrong?” The nickname made you nauseous. And if you had less control over yourself, you were sure you’d have already devolved into tears.

“No, I’m okay,” you denied, shaking your head. “Just gotta get changed.”

Sarah frowned. “You sure? You’ve been quiet this week,” she said.

You nodded again, resisting the urge to laugh at the hypocrisy of that statement. She’d have to have been around more to know if you’d been quiet that week. “I’m sure, Sarah,” you assured her, tone falling just a touch flat. “Just been busy, that’s all. And I don’t wanna make us late. So just give me like twenty minutes to clean myself up.”

To her credit, at this moment, Sarah was being her normal self. Her attentive, doting self. The self that had been gone all month. “As long as you’re sure,” she said, sounding unsure herself.

Instead of replying, you nodded and fled to the bathroom. And in the bathroom, you spent a few minutes pulling yourself together emotionally before getting your shit together physically so you could leave. And 20 minutes later, after changing into more casual-party-on-the-beach appropriate attire and throwing some stuff in your bag, you were ready to leave.

“Wait, did you eat anything for dinner yet? Do we need to stop?” Sarah asked, pausing as you were gathering your bags.

“I’m set. Why? Are you hungry?” you asked, not glancing back at her as you finished fiddling with your bag.

Sarah paused. “No. I’m okay,” she said eventually.

You looked up again. “You sure, baby?” you asked, reaching out your hand to rub up and down her arm.

At that, Sarah smiled. She melted into your touch a little and nodded. “I’m sure, yeah. John B will probably have something there if we need it. If not we can head out early and grab something,” she said. She gave you a cheesy grin and an exaggerated wink and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. Your heart lightened a bit as you laughed and Sarah practically beamed at the sound that she hadn’t been hearing much of the past few weeks.

You offered her your hand. “Ready to go, love?” you asked her.

She took it. “With you? Absolutely,” she said, squeezing your joint hands.

“Who is actually going, again?” you asked as you got into your car ready to drive over to John B’s where you would park before going to the beach.

“Uhh, the usual. Kie and JJ. Pope and Cleo. John B. I think maybe some other people. Didn’t really ask this time,” Sarah replied, shrugging as she pulled down the visor in the car to adjust her lip gloss. She looked over at you and smiled. “Why? Do you want something bigger? Smaller?”

“Nah, nah, I’m good,” you replied, laughing slightly as you backed out of your spot, starting towards John B’s on the road. “Just curious. Haven’t been able to hang with everyone in a while. Hoping it was gonna be the whole group, is all.”

Absent-mindedly, Sarah reached out and grabbed your hand, nodding at your words. Then, as you began your drive, she began to talk about her day, catching you up on some of the stuff she’d done and dealt with. You listened attentively, feeling some of the stress melt away as you finally got to spend a tiny sliver of alone time with the woman that you loved. It was, for the time being, peaceful. Relaxing. You felt like a calmer, fixed sort of future might be truly possible. The way that she rubbed her thumb along your hand as you held lovingly onto each other. The way that she looked over at you with a soft, adoring expression. The way that she leaned over and casually fixed a piece of hair that had gone rogue from how you’d styled it earlier. All of it was the Sarah that you knew and loved.

Even as you parked the car, you felt like you could’ve been floating on Cloud 9. When you parked and got out of the car, Sarah came quickly around the car, all but pressing you against the door to kiss you breathless. She then dutifully smiled, fixing the lip gloss that she’d transferred over to your lips, then hers again. After that, with a cheeky grin on her face, she linked hands with you again and started pulling you towards the beach. You walked in amiable silence from John B’s property line all the way to the edge of the beach. As you breached the tree line you could see your friends all sat around a bonfire that would, doubtlessly, steadily grow throughout the night.

Kie was the first to spot the pair of you, crying out a loud cheer. That prompted all attention over towards you two as you approached. As everyone’s attention turned, Sarah dropped your hand. Not casually. Not unnoticeably. But, she practically threw your hand away from hers and stepped a few inches away. You audibly heard your breath catch in your throat and felt your face fall. The only reason that Sarah didn’t was that she called back an equally boisterous, loud hello. Sarah practically started running towards your friends and you were left to pick up the shattered pieces of your heart and pride that had been scattered together along the sand of the beach from a tiny, stupid fucking action. Largely, the group didn’t seem to notice the way that you faltered. Not at all. But, you could tell that Kie and JJ were looking at you real funny for a moment there.

When you walked over to them, Sarah was already talking to everyone as if she’d been there all night. And she practically threw herself into hugging everyone. JJ and Kie. Then Pope and Cleo. Then John B. It wasn’t hard to guess which one would last the longest. And you hated the way that your brain lingered on the hug between Sarah and her ex. You knew she didn’t have feelings for John B. At least…not anymore. At least you thought she didn’t. Refusing to linger, you pasted a smile on again and greeted your friends too in turn giving short hugs that you excused away by being tired.

As JJ brought you into a hug, one of the last two you were giving one to, he held you for a moment longer. “You good?” he murmured seriously, low so no one else could hear.

“Yeah, J. I’m good,” you replied, tired. You shrugged when you pulled back, not meeting his eye. You knew full well that he’d call you out for lying, regardless of who it was in front of. You pretended to stretch your back for a moment to cover the obvious avoidance and then gave him a lazy grin. “You good, man?”

“Yeah. I’m fine,” JJ said, voice flat and unimpressed. Even without seeing your face, he knew damn well something was really off.

“Hey,” Kie greeted, interrupting before JJ could say something else. She brought you into a tight, warm, lingering hug, refusing to let you pull away. “Haven’t seen you in forever. Where the hell have you been?”

“Flower shop has been busy,” you said, shrugging. “Not gonna leave my parents hanging. You get it.”

“You and those damn flowers,” Kie laughed, hugging you tightly still. You found yourself relaxing into her arms and hugging her tightly back, some of your tension decreasing again.

“I just care about the dahlias,” you joked.

Kie groaned, bumping your hip with hers, loosening her grip just a little while she grinned. “Trust me we know you love your dahlias,” she said.

“Hey,” Sarah said, practically materializing by your side.

You jumped slightly and turned, Kie’s arms falling. Sarah looked unhappy, brow puckered as if she just tasted something particularly gross. You reached out to take her hand and she pulled it back, making it look natural even though everything about the movement was anything but. And you knew it from the way her shoulder jerked, even if her arm didn’t betray it.

“What’s wrong, babe?” you asked her, struggling to keep the hurt from your voice, but miraculously managing.

“Can you and JJ go get some wood for the fire while we start to get it growing,” Sarah requested, a sweet but strained smile on her face.

You raised a brow looking over at the fire. It was blazing strong and high, burning brightly. And there was a small pile of wood next to it too, ready to be thrown in when needed. You felt your heart stutter. You pursed your lips even as you nodded, patting JJ’s shoulder so he didn’t make a snarky comment.

“Yeah, sure,” you said shortly. You craned your head towards JJ. “Let’s go man.”

“I’ll come with you,” Kie said, suddenly, looping arms with both JJ and you before pulling you in the direction of the woods you’d practically just emerged from. You frowned but let yourself get pulled along, a fake smile slipping off your face with each step, leaving nothing behind. When you were a few paces behind Kie looked over at you, and you refused to look back. “What the hell was that about?”

“Nah, what the hell was any of that?” JJ added. “Why is Sarah acting so weird right now? Fuck’s that about?”

“Not a clue,” you replied, shrugging, pulling away from the pair of them to move a few paces ahead. You ran a hand frustrated on the back of your neck then shook your head. “This is so…whatever.” Again, you shook your head and cleared your throat. “Don’t even worry about it. Just some weird shit, guys.”

You saw them exchange a glance out of the corner of your eye, but you steadfastly ignored it, refusing to let yourself even acknowledge it. Deny, deny, deny. That was the ongoing chorus in the back of your head as you kept walking. Kiara said your name in a tone that you were all too familiar with. In a tone that dictated she would get an answer out of you whether you liked it or not. You slowed your steps, hands balled into fists at your side. You turned your head over your shoulder.

“Kiara,” you said, voice cool.

“Talk to us,” she said.

The beeping of your phone from your pocket saved you from having to answer immediately. You shook your head, frustrated, and tore your phone from your pocket, starting to unlock it. “Nothing to say,” you mumbled. Your mother had texted you. Repeatedly. Within minutes. Your eyes narrowed and you then widened as you read the words. “Oh my…” You blinked rapidly at the news.

“What’s up?” JJ asked, sounding deeply concerned at the sudden change in my affect. You didn’t answer, just re-reading the texts over and over and over again, trying to force them to sink into your brain. JJ said your name twice and still you didn’t answer. You felt Kie and JJ both at your shoulder, reading the texts over them.

“Shit,” Kie muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“I gotta go,” you replied, shoving the phone in your pocket and shaking your head.

“Hey, hey, wait,” JJ said, catching your arm. “You good to even drive? Do you want me to run and get Sarah?”

“No,” you said, extracting your arm immediately from his grip. “Don’t ruin her night. I don’t fucking care. I’m good. I gotta go.”

“Do you want us to tell her?” Kiara called as you started to rush towards your car.

“Don’t care,” you called back immediately, body feeling cool.

You got into your car, calling your mom as you peeled off of John B’s property as you started racing towards not your apartment but the ferry. When your mom answered, you heard not a greeting first but her chattering rapidly on the other end of the line sounding exhausted.

“Mom?” you called.

“Honey, you got ten minutes to get on the last ferry of the night,” she replied.

“What happened?” you asked.

“Your aunt collapsed. It’s not looking good,” she said quietly.

You cursed. “I’ll be at the dock in five,” you said. “Are you guys with her? At the hospital?”

“Yeah,” your mom replied. “We’ll see you soon, honey. Is Sarah with you?”

“No, Sar’s not. She’s in the middle of something. I haven’t told her. I gotta go. I love you, Mom,” you said shakily.

“Love you too. Drive safe,” she said firmly. You could tell there would be more questions in the realm of Sarah later, but you knew that your aunt would take precedence. You shook your head and started driving, hands shaking even as you held the wheel in a death grip. Your phone started to ring again. And on your car’s dash, you saw Sarah’s name and contact picture show up. You shook your head and declined the call, immediately putting your phone on airplane mode for the moment.

By some sort of miracle, you got to the dock in time and got yourself a ticket before the boat left for the mainland. On the boat, you turned off airplane mode, switching it to Do Not Disturb, making it so that none of your friends could contact you. So that Sarah couldn’t contact you. As you did so, you got rid of the notifications that remained. The last was a double text from Sarah.

My love, you’re scaring me. I hate to think that you’re out there overwhelmed like this and that you’re alone.

Please talk to me, peach.

You loved her. You did. You loved her more than anything. But the past month had been too much. And if you weren’t enough for her anymore like her actions had been suggesting? Well, then this was a good excuse to get the fuck out of the Outer Banks and get your head back on straight. To figure out what you want if things aren’t going to work out with her.

All you could do was take out your phone and fire off a single text of your own. To Kie, not to Sarah.

Tell her not to come.

You put your phone away.

You’d waited all month for Sarah to talk to you. It was her turn to wait now. Your family would come first. And if that meant that your relationship would end? If that meant that you’d be the one in the wrong? Then whatever.

Deny, deny fucking, deny.

[vallanoux]

𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚. - 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝟏, 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝟏

ps: i'm new here and idk what i'm doing, but this is the first chapter of a lucifer m. x reader x alastor fic <3

(name) (surname) was nothing special. Sure, a famous broadway star, but that was it. She was just another regular human who experienced normal, average everyday problems. A difficult “hellhole” of a childhood, a lack of love life, worry and uncertainty for the future... all of them were undoubtedly issues that everyone went through, were they not?

In this day and age, who didn’t come from some form of trauma-inducing childhood hellhole? 

The only thing that really stood out about (name) (surname) was her death. She died in a freak accident at age 28. Sent to hell by such a gruesome death––what a poor thing! Especially straight into the ring of pride. That really was the only interesting thing about her.

Or so, most people would believe. 

“Why, oh why the hell am I in Hazbin Hotel?!!” (name) cried. 

(name) (surname) didn’t die in a freak accident at age 28. No, she was transmigrated into Hazbin Hotel, an adult animated series that had its first season recently aired in the beginning of the year 2024 after its pilot a couple years prior.

(name) sighs, and she slumps down on the sidewalk. She confusedly stared at her surroundings. The buildings were all gray, either barely holding up or derelict and destroyed. The roads were all covered with some form of garbage. Feces, drugs, guts. And god, everything was painted in red. Concrete bathed under the sky of red and puddles of crimson blood and innards. 

With a rising acid reflux, and her own build up stress, she could feel her own vomit crawl up her throat, waiting for her to belch out her instant noodle and scrambled egg breakfast. All too familiar with this feeling, she pressed her hand against her chest and stopped breathing in and out. The bile manages to sink back into her stomach, and at that, (name) breathes a huff of relief. 

“I need to get my shit together.” 

Just as she says that to calm herself, she sees a familiar face, staring at her. (name) didn’t know what to feel. Relief? Fear? Excitement? She could only stare at the figure standing in front of her––the figure of hell’s head honcho, Lucifer Morningstar. She couldn’t tell what he felt. The expression on his face was too well concealed. (name) opened her mouth, her lips trembling as she spoke. She couldn’t understand why such a man was here. 

“Hello,” (name) mutters out, holding her eye contact. 

Lucifer tilts his head and thankfully, he speaks. He didn’t sound angry, but he also didn’t sound all too pleased either. “Were you sent by Father? That divine power in you must mean something.” 

“I don’t even know why I’m here. What are you talking about..?” (name) was honest with her words. She stared at him helplessly, with a tone of desperation etched into her voice. “I don’t- I..” 

(name) could feel the tears building up in her eyes. She desperately wipes away her own tears, but they would only continue to patter right out. They were the tears of a showman. A through and through famous broadway star that presented their act as thorough as a michelin chef serving a full course five star meal. A meal that Lucifer bit into with little to none hesitation. 

He looks away regrettably. The flame of suspicion that once burned in his eyes flickering into dying embers. He truly wanted to believe (name). But this situation was far too… perfect. “I don’t know what I could do for you.” He summarizes up briefly and regrettably, and he turns around. He looks away. 

“W- Wait please. Don’t leave me here. Please. I don’t know what’s happening. If you could just give me a place to stay?” She lowered her head and pleaded. 

He turns his gaze back to her and his face morphs into a troubled expression. His lips curl into a worried frown and he balls his hands into a fist, where, (name) noticed, a wedding ring still nicely wrapped around his ring finger despite his widower status. He sighs and unclenches his hands. 

“You know I could be a totally bad guy, right?” Lucifer mutters. “You shouldn’t trust the first person you meet.”

“I know that. But you just seem.. Kind.” (name) was careful with her words, painting herself in an innocent light. A light that Lucifer would feel the need to protect. 

“Kind?” He narrows his eyes briefly, unsure. Yet as always, his gaze returns to her eyes. “Sure, why the hell not. Come, stay with me. But don’t blame me if you regret it too much.” 

(name) manages a small smile and held his hand, “I don’t think I will.” 

Her expression drops slightly when Lucifer’s grip on her hands tighten. His eyes narrowed and cut through her, “but if you’re lying… I promise you’ll find yourself in a situation far worse than being in hell.”

(name) nervously and shakily nods her head. “Got it.” 

2.7 pages

883 words

status: edited

Notes:

this is a story i created for fun, so updates are inconsistent~

only lucifer and alastor will be love interests currently.

also a small reminder, don't ask for posts/updates. it ruins my motivation to publish anything. if someone comments or personally asks, i might just consider postponing an update simply because.

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Give me your Blyndeff sister headcanons please.

You got it, Boss!

MOLLY BLYNDEFF:

Starting off, I think shes autistic. Look, i know this is low hanging fruit, but i mean... come on...

I have a list of all the nervous tics she has, which include:

Chewing on her hoodie strings

Clicking a pen, mechanical pencil, figit cube

Cracking her body, mostly her hands, fingers and wrists

Chewing her inner cheek

Biting herself

Shaking anything jingly

Nervous hand flappies

Pacing

I also have a list of stims that i kinda projected:

Hand flaps are a big one

Same with fist shaking

Patting her thighs too

She also makes small popping noises

Ok back to ACTUAL headcannons:

Doesnt do well at amusement parks, but is cool about the scary halloweeny stuff

Quiet kid in school on the days she goes

Vocalizes what she does (aka making sounds as she does stuff) (akaaka her walking and she goes "eh eh eh eh")

I feel like she indulges in horror games, thinks the cutesy stuff is boring

Did not realize she was autistic until Trixie said "Thats neat Molly! By the way, did you ever get diagnosed for autism?" After she went on a whole rant about bear facts.

Speaking of facts, hyperfixation/special interest list:

Bears

Pokémon

Lethal company

Any horror game you give her, really

Horror movies

History (this is me protecting)

Actual Headcannons:

Textures are iffy for her

Shes touch seeking but will freak out if she feels or tastes a weird texture like with fleeces or fabrics

Naven triedd to help her with this, but it didn't work out and she spat out the food while apologizing

Likes Rasin Brain, its the only cereal thats not sweet

Drinks black coffee and tea

I feel like she owns a green Nokia with a bear keychain

Music taste is probably those nice music box covers or really quiet piano with rain ambiance.

LORELAI BLYNDEFF:

Shes autistic too, but not at the same spectrum level as Molly

Abandonment Issues

If shes stressed she'll stim while talking out loud to herself

Had HORRIBLE meltdowns when she was younger, she stopped around the time Molly was born since her parents said she had to set an example

Sweet tooth, favorite flavor is Birthday Cake

I can sense she has a Dnd special intrest, most definetly has played Baldurs Gate 3 at some point

Warrior Cats kid

Bedazzles everything she owns

Horrible cook. Dont let her touch an oven

Her and Molly used to infodump together before they started hating eachother

Def a bedazzled flip phone girlie

Idk why but I feel like shes a Chai drinker, no explination I just feel it.

Also really likes Halloweeny stuff

She struggles more with school work than Molly (Proof, her spelling in PoP) but she doesnt want to ask for help cuz she feels stupid about it so she just does it wrong

Full Hyperfixation/Special Intrest List:

Fantasy

Dungeons and Dragons/TTRPGS

Baldurs Gate 3

Rabbits/Bunnies/Etc

Harry Potter (Fuck JKR)

Warrior Cats

Wings of Fire

Percy Jackson

Actual Headcannons:

I feel like shes an Art Kid

Specializes in Pottery and Doodles

Also has taken up plushie making! Without an Epithet, I may add

She doesnt have an issue with texture most of the time; but if she feels any slime or coldness on her hands she'll flip.

She likes the popular music; but secretly loves fantasy game soundtracks and vocaloid. DWEEB!!!! (Me too i get it Lori)

Storing money to go to a Renaissance Faire

She sometimes uses her dream bubbles for Dnd campaigns with the friends she has! Or she would if she had any

I feel like she sits alone at lunch :(

Loves Boba! Tried getting Molly to taste it but she spat out a Pearl

Theater kid. Gut feeling.

Thats all from me, anon! Enjoy!!

[cy-cyborg]

So... turns out the whole "discovering my autism later in life" wasn't entirely correct for me. I don't know what to say, it's all confusing as hell (confused rant ahead)

I found 2 neurospyc reports, one from when I was 10 and another when I was 16/17 that list traits and test results consistent with what, today, would be considered level 2 autism and ADHD. but then they both turn around and say the neurospyc chose not to diagnose...

The first one had at least a good reason. From my understanding, at that point in time, autism couldn't be diagnosed unless all other possibilities had been ruled out, and the neurospyc says that these traits could also come from brain damage from meningococcol (the illness that caused my physical disability). Meningococcol's effects on a developing brain weren't well understood back then, so I guess I get it. It does, however, lay out some further testing that could be done by other specilists to rule it out, as well as mention what we should expect to see as I grow if it is autism. I met all the autism points, and I have the other specialists' reports ruling out meningococcol side effect theory. I likely still couldn't have been diagnosed at the time, though, because autism and ADHD were considered conflicting diagnoses, but the fact they were still considering it is a big positive to me.

The second one though... doesn't acknowledge any of this. It lists all the same traits (plus the new ones I developed that the other report predicted), talks about their severity and then... turns around and says it's actually not that bad and I don't need a diagnosis 😑. It doesn't say it explicitly, but the second report talks a lot about how friendly I was, how I was doing well in school (I really wasn't, I had like, one class I did well in because it aligned with my special interest, and the rest I was bearly scraping by) how I maintained eye contact and number of other things. It concluded that a diagnosis wasn't needed.

It's worth mentioning that when the second report was done, not only was I only doing high school part-time (3 days a week) because the 5 day week lead to burnout constantly, but I was also receiving the most support I'd ever had because my school recognised something was up and got me extra help (they didn't need a diagnosis because of my physical disability). I literally had someone who's job it was to come find me at lunch and remind me to eat and use the toilet, as well as to help me with assignments because in both yr 10 and yr 11 I almost failed so bad i came close to needing to repeat (i'd already repeated once). Not necessarily because I couldn't do the assignments, though some i definitely needed support on that front too, but because I just forgot they existed and never did them/handed them in. I was also in detention pretty much every day in yrs 7-10 because the same thing happened with regular homework. I either forgot to do it, or refused because I was so burned out, i just couldn't do it. This was all mentioned in the report, and it mentions that the school even provided letters to back the claims up (though i dont have those) and this doctor was like "hmmm, yes, this seems like a person who is well adjusted and in need of no further support! These traits definitely won't cause issues for them in adult life, especially in a country where we make disabled people do time-sensitive paperwork on every single aspect of their lives and have to update said paperwork constantly"

(what no, I'm not salty about something specific to do with government agencies in the Aus disability sector, what are you talking about...)

And shockingly once those supports were gone I nosedived. I've been in pretty much constant burnout since 2019, it was so bad in 2021 I had to stop working (which gutted me, I LOVED my job), and when burnout lasts that long it can do permanent damage.

There's even a report that was with the neurospyc report from one of my pediatric amputee rehab specilists that states I can not go unsupported into the adult sector, I will not cope. I will not be able to communicate my needs effectively. My health will decline. It was backed up by the senior peds. orthopaedic surgeon and the senior peds. plastics surgeon (who all knew me my entire life). The report says they had to bring me back into to the pediatric hospital for a few checkups even after I was 18 because the transition was so overwhelming I just stopped seeking medical treatment. I remember that. I remember trying to talk to the adult sector specilists and them just not understanding me and not understanding what the problem is. I remember the issue at hand (issues with my knee) getting so bad, but not knowing what else to do. I stopped going because i didnt want to be told my issue wasnt that bad. I still don't understand what I did or said wrong, and it's still happening today. My whole pediatric team was right, i needed help, but sure, I don't need extra supports because the neurospyc said "I was friendly".

Just FYI, when they finally did an MRI of the knee it was literally falling apart. The pain I was complaining about was constant dislocation and a bone infection. That knee had to be amputated. It was serious.

My therapist asked me to find these neurospyc reports if I could. I knew I had them but not what they said, and she hoped that there would be something in them that would allow her to make a case to the NDIS that even though we "don't know the reason" because there's no official diagnosis, it's clear I need more support, and theres been proof of it for years. And now I've read through them... Just knowing how well documented it all was, knowing that my pediatric care team, my doctors, my specilists, my parents, my teachers etc all knew I was struggling and tried to get me help, but one person decided "nah" has me just... confused beyond belief. I have a binder full of everything I can find that I'm going to bring to my therapist. I hope we can do something with it now.

[dumb-teambucciarati-headcanons]

Got any headcanons about team Bucciarati and their relationships/thoughts on the members of La Squadra? :eyes:

Yes!!! I love this ask! This is gonna take place in my everyone lives au, that most of my headcanons take place in. SPOILER WARNING btw

this one is kind of long.

-firstly, Trish hates them all and for good reason.

-secondly, Bruno has an issue with their morals when it comes to selling drugs. Because drugs are like, his least favorite thing. They call him no drugs Bruno.

-Thirdly, they all adore Sorbet and Gelato!

FORMAGGIO:

- Giorno gets along with formaggio alright, he thinks he is a piece of shit though. But he finds his shrinking stand to be very interesting and they have combined their powers together before to make a tiny jungle.

-Narancia and Mista are best buddies with Formaggio, and they cause chaos all the time. Narancia and Formaggio have a little rivalry going on though because of their fight, but they’re pals because they are all dumbasses.

-Fugo hates him because when Fugo gets upset about something, Formaggio will activate his stand to make him small so his yelling is higher pitched.

-Abbacchio doesn’t like when Formaggio is around because he makes the loud ones even louder. He has a special pair of noose cancelling headphones for when he visits.

-Bruno doesn’t really talk to or like Formaggio.

ILLUSO:

-Giorno respects him for the fight they had and the determination he showed. Hates his guts though.

-Illuso can’t forgive Giorno, Fugo, or Abbacchio for causing him to go through so much pain. He doesn’t know if he blames Giorno or Fugo more for getting infected so bad with Purple haze. Those three don’t really like Illuso that much, Giorno is the only one that at least respects him out of the trio.

-Bruno thinks his stand is neat because he likes other dimension stands.

-Trish thinks his hair is ugly.

PESCI and PROSCIUTTO:

-Prosciutto likes Narancia because he reminds him a little bit of a braver Pesci. Pesci doesn’t like Narancia because he is jealous of him/thinks his big bro likes him more (which isn’t true). Narancia won’t forget how prosciutto made him look like a rotten grape.

-Mista likes Prosciutto because he shot him three times in the head, if it had been four times his ghost would hate him. He thinks Pesci looks like a pineapple.

-Abbacchio thinks Prosciutto is wonderful because he was the cause of “the best nap of his life” when he was in the turtle on the train. Like sure it almost cost him his life, but to be able to sleep like that again.

-Bruno doesn’t think Pesci is anything like Narancia, but can see where prosciutto is coming from. Bruno didn’t like Pesci at first, and is often irritated with him. But he does have a soft spot for him now.

MELONE:

-I think they all hate Melone to be honest.

GHIACCO: (or however you spell his name)

-Fugo and him talk about their anger issues and pet peeves, and Fugo gives him advice about how to control your anger better. They surprisingly get along alright, but if they are both upset at each other it is bad.

-Mista likes to irritate him. Narancia irritates him, but not on purpose.

-He and Giorno and Fugo went ice skating one time, he made the ice rink. It was summer. People were confused.

RISOTTO:

-Abbacchio doesn’t like him, there can be only one best dressed goth in town.

-Bruno respects him and likes how he cares about his team. Risotto likes Bruno, but what is up with that haircut? When his team complains to him about something he will say “well at least you aren’t working for a guy with an ugly haircut like bucciarati” and someone from his team responds with “yeah, but we get the ugly hat …”.

-Risotto likes Narancia because of how he “let him” use his stand that one time. Narancia thinks Risotto has a better outfit than Abbacchio, but he won’t say it.

[randomartkid-12]

Some rcp backstories/hcs! Had some random inspo lol

POLI (TW: ABUSE)

Poli was a single child who lived with his father, who was a police officer. His mother and father had gotten divorced after he was born from issues relating to him. His father blamed him for the entire thing that happened between him and his wife, leaving Poli to become an object that his father used to get his anger out on.

Due to his rough start of life, he was a very quiet kid going through school. He never spoke and was often bullied. He never stood up for himself either, and got used to the way he was treated. In middle school, being older, he learned that what others and his father did was wrong and became interested in law enforcement. Even still, he didn’t stand up to his often heavily drunk father.He was also a very smart kid, but had low grades due to his lack of speech.

Going through school, he didn’t have and friends. It stayed that was for a while until later in 7th grade. He met a boy, Roy, during a school project. It was awkward between them in the beginning, but soon they became very close. So for a while during that time they were close friends. Until Poli’s father moved, grudgingly taking Poli with him. Because if the move, Poli had to switch schools (the new school wasn’t any better than the first) and didn’t see Roy again until later in high school. (When he moved back)

Once moving back, after an uneventful 2 years, he continued his work. In one of the classes he was assigned to, he noticed that Roy was also in the class. They began talking to each other, still a bit weird as they hadn’t talked for a long time. He had to pull Roy out of some nasty relationships, which had damaged his mental health at the time and they bonded quickly afterward.

Then, Poli got an invite to an academy where he would finally start his training to become a police officer. He was excited and determined as he wanted to protect others from going through what he did. Eventually he became the first rescue member on a team in a small town.

ROY

He was a kid born into an average, small, pretty wealthy/stable family. He had 1 (bio) younger sibling, Carson. He mainly lived with his mother since his father was always away from home. It was usually only special occasions when he got to see him.

There wasn’t really much for him to do in the house. He used to play with his brother, but as they got older Carson had lost interest in their simple play. So one day, feeling bored, Roy traveled out into the forest behind the home. There were some paths through it, and he followed them until he spotted something ragged up in a tree. It was a beaten down playhouse. It wasn’t stable enough for him to climb into, but something about it intrigued him.

Roy ran back home to tell his mother and brother. In the following days, Carson would come out with him to look at it, and they both tried to come up with ideas of what to do with it.

So, for the following holiday of Thanksgiving, they both went to their father to tell him about it. Their father liked their idea, and agreed to rebuild it for them. Though he was only able to work on it of the days he was home, it was eventually finished.

When Roy was 12, his mother brought someone home. It was a young girl, who looked rather shy. His mother explained that she was a girl who had lost both her parents and she had agreed to take her in. It didn’t take long for Roy to become acquainted with her. The girl’s name, now his new sister, was Ruby.

In his later teenaged years, he often found himself struggling as to what he wanted to be when he was older. High-school had been a punch in the gut for him, and now he was almost out of it. He’d often spend his evenings in their treehouse, which used to be their family’s place a creativity, to think. He did work during the summer time, but most of those jobs were simple, low-paying jobs that dragged at his mental health.

Eventually, after a few years of collage, he found one of his close friends, Poli, was going to an academy for police training. Then, one summer night, he decided that he would try a similar field—firefighting.

(And it turns out he was pretty damn good at it too! lol)

AMBER

Amber was one of the many children. They lived in a small, not too wealthy town. Her mother worked as a nurse at a nearby hospital, and her father worked an office job in a beaten down building. Amber was one of the middle children, falling closer to the younger side.

They never really went places, due to the fact that her family was so large and they had very limited money. Even so, Amber always tried to come up with ways to lighten the mood or make things fun. She had a great relationship with all of her siblings, and was always the one to comfort them when upset.

Sometimes, even though she was very young, she’d work simple jobs to get money so she could buy small trinkets and candies for her older, hard-working siblings. Her oldest sister, Amelia, had trouble keeping jobs, and would often come home defeated after work. Amber would do her best to encourage her that she was doing her best, and would give her her extra money. Now, Amelia is successful in Japan, and often writes to Amber!

Amber always had a pretty solid idea of what she wanted to be when she was older. Her mother was very sweet, and was a pretty big inspiration to her. But, one day a plague broke out, and her mother constantly spent time at the hospital to treat people. The plague wasn’t usually deadly, but eventually her mother caught it and fell very ill. Unfortunately, she didn’t get better. Amber did her best to care for her mother, but there wasn’t much she could do. This inspired Amber to become a doctor.

Once she got out of college, she went straight to a medical school where she got many years of practice under her belt and applied to be a doctor at many hospitals. But, the first letter she got in acceptance of her offer was not a hospital but a rescue team.

Yippie yay

[cherryluvrx3]

Sadists and men are irritating. One who is both is the worst of all.

Okita Sougo x fem afab reader 

This is pretty much just a self indulgent stupid fic I thought would be funny. Based of a screenshot from another fic (I’ll put it at the end cuz I don’t wanna spoil the part lol) 

Cw. talk about pregnancy, abortion, (not at all seriously though), Okita calls you a slut like twice, some smut at the end and breeding??? Also in general Okita being a piece of shit like usual

------------------------------------

As the Shinsengumi nurse, I was no stranger to the spontaneous idiotic conversations men talk about. After all, my job keeps me surrounded by uncivilized men all the time. At first, the soldiers were a bit wary and even shy to act crude around me, not used to having a woman in the workplace, but after years of working there, the excitement and special treatment had worn off. Now they have no issue talking about any questionable, disgusting, filthy topics.

The other day I heard a debate that spanned about an hour long on ‘What do you think would kill you faster? Uncontrollable vomiting or shitting?’ 

Seriously the topics these men conjure up can be nothing short of abysmal. Part of me understands that as men who follow such a strict code, uphold the law, put their lives on the line, and are forced to live with other men, they don’t have as much freedom as others or much time to enjoy themselves. And since they’re stuck with each other, all their stupid ass energy is quick to infect and spread and soon enough you got everyone talking about vomit and shit when they should be, I don’t know, doing their jobs?

At the end of the day it’s whatever though. 

While they can be moronic and gross, I have to admit that they bring personality and excitement to my job. Since I’m just a lone nurse working in a simple on-grounds clinic, serious injuries go to hospitals while I mainly give them check ups and treat their scrapes and boo-boos. Having to treat a bunch of beat up men is much more entertaining when they pass the time talking passionately about the most dumb or horrid things imaginable. At times like those, I find myself having to rewrap some guy's arm for the third time because I can’t focus from all the gut wrenching laughter and tears in my eyes. 

Of course there are times when they try to involve me in the conversations. I usually opt out of all the really nasty sick ones because of personal preference but this was one that wasn’t a disgusting talk really, more like a hypothetical. Specifically about me and my boyfriend, Sougo Okita. 

The two of us had met because of our jobs of course and he ended up taking an interest in me because I bit back when he teased me. Initially he just liked messing with me and I hated his guts but after a while we both had grown strangely close and ended up falling into a relationship without either of us actually asking each other out. Too much pride for either of us to spit out our feelings? How embarrassing..

Anyway, the question was asked by Yamazaki, who was accompanied by Saitou. The two of them were getting their bruises, scrapes and cuts treated that they had gained from training together. 

“So (Y/n), what would you do if you were pregnant with Captain Okita’s kid?” 

“What?” The dead look I shot him quickly told him I was not amused with where the conversation was heading. 

“No- I mean-ow! C’mon! Surely it’s crossed your mind?” Yamazaki yelped as I aggressively dabbed an alcohol soaked cotton ball into a bad scrape on his knee. 

[Assuming that you two are… active?] Saitou’s notebook read. 

I huffed and felt my cheeks get hot before muttering, “We are,” I got up to throw the cotton ball in the trash can, “but! That’s really none of your business.” I said and poked Yamazaki’s shoulder where I knew he had a tender bruise making him yelp again. 

“But Okita’s always telling your business!”

“What?” The dead look once again on my face as I waited for them to explain. 

[Well sometimes the other men ask him about how things are between you two and he says that..] 

Saitou flips the page,

[..You’re really a big cock slut who can’t get enough of him -///-] he used his notebook to cover up his blushing face as if he didn’t already have a mask on and draw a blushing emoticon. 

Holy shit.

I mean.. men have always been shameless assholes that often have no problems over sharing the personal details of their girlfriends to other men for the imaginary cool guy points that dudes have but HOLY SHIT!?

I felt all color drain from my face only for it to instantly come back with how hard my blood was pumping from anger and embarrassment. 

“Oh my- That’s not true by the way!” I grab Yamazaki by his bruised shoulders and shake him. “If anything, he’s the slut! He’s the one that can’t keep his hands off me!” I yell, shaking Yamazaki even harder while Saitou helplessly watches. 

“Whatever!” I drop Yamazaki onto the medical bed where he lays lifelessly. “To answer your question, if I was pregnant with that asshole’s child, it’d be gone as soon as I can schedule the appointment!” 

“What?” 

I turn to the door to see said asshole boyfriend at the doorway.

Under normal circumstances I’d maybe be happy to see him but instead I huff and roll my eyes. “You heard me, if I had your kid in my stomach I’d get rid of it before that devil spawn could be formed!” I turned around and started gathering what I needed to treat Saitou now. 

“Okay wait. What’s even going on?” Okita asked confused on the random topic and why I was even mad at him when he hadn’t done anything yet. 

Saitou quickly wrote to give him a swift summary. 

“Oh. So you heard about that huh? Or I mean read about that.” Okita chuckled, not at all ashamed that I found out he’d been telling people that I’m practically a horn dog. “What? Are you embarrassed?” He went to wrap his arms around my waist from behind and leaned to talk by my ear, “All I’m doing is telling everyone how much you love me and how insatiable you get for my di-” I elbow him in the gut hard and watch as he doubled over with a groan. 

“God you are so irritating!” I yell and walk over to Saitou so I could start treating him but he backs away in fear I’ll do more harm than good. 

“Yeah I guess I could see why you wouldn’t want his child,” Yamazaki chuckles, “I’m sure he’d stress you out like crazy- Ow! Ow!” He whimpers as Okita starts rubbing into Yamazaki’s bruises that he somehow was able to find.

“Really? That’s why you wouldn’t have my kid?” He asks while still harassing poor Yamazaki. 

“Not just that. There’s no way you’d be a good dad. You’re way too childish and would probably ditch me, making me end up as a single mother because you ‘couldn’t handle the pressure!’” I grumbled while I disinfected some of Saitou’s cuts. 

[I have to admit that makes sense. After all you both are still young and a child is a lot of responsibility] Saitou’s notebook read. “Right? You get me.” I patted his back before going to toss the garbage in the bin. 

Okita walked up to me and gently cupped my chin, tilting my face to the side. I think that he’s gonna give me a sweet kiss on the cheek to make me feel better, something he does whenever I get too worked up over his bullying. 

He leans down slowly and I let him, after all I deserve some sweet loving- nevermind he just stuck his tongue in my ear. 

“Sougo! Ew!” I scream as I shove him away and frantically try to clean his spit. He smirked from the satisfaction of irritating me once again but his smug look eventually faded.

I could tell Okita was upset but I wasn’t sure if it was because I said he’d be a bad dad or that I’d accused him of leaving me when times got tough. 

“Hmph. Whatever. Not like you'd be a good mother either.” He huffed and left the room before I could argue back. 

A few days had passed since then. I thought he was upset but he seemed normal as ever when I had seen him again so I eventually forgot about the whole conversation. I mean, life as the nurse for a bunch of idiots is very demanding y'know. A gal like me has got a lot on her mind at once. Like.. well..uhh…

Today me and Okita were… hanging out…in my apartment…alone..

Ahem…

The bed creaked under the weight and strain that came from Okita’s hips slapping into my own. He’d always been rough so this was nothing new. I was on my back, my legs wrapped around his waist while his face was buried in my neck, leaving rough bite marks, hickeys, and an occasional tender kiss behind. My nails dug into his shoulders as I held on for support, the pain making him groan. 

How did things end up like this? I’m not entirely sure. It seems like whenever we have time alone together we just jump at the opportunity to get into each other’s pants. To us it feels like this is the best way to truly let each other know how we feel. The passion, the aggression and the sincerity of our touches convey our emotions better than our words could.

My back arched as his cock plunged itself into me, each thrust somehow feeling deeper than the last. I would be embarrassed by the obscene squelching sounds that came after each eager pump of his hips if I didn’t have Okita struggling to hold back his moans by ear, busying his mouth with licking and sucking on the skin of my neck instead. 

Our bodies were coated with a thin layer of sweat as they held onto each other. My hips bucked against his, never having enough of him. 

I gripped his soft hair and tugged him away from my neck, his plump lips already slick with spit before I crashed my lips to his. My tongue shooting into his already parted, panting mouth. He let out a throaty groan and his hips stuttered against mine, overwhelmed with all the sensations. 

Our tongues slid against each other’s aggressively. Even now we fought, trying to make the other submit. The kiss was sloppy and hot, I couldn’t help but moan at the familiar feeling of him dominating my mouth. 

One of his hands slid between us, his thumb rubbing rough circles on my clit to win me over. I gasped and broke from the kiss entirely, legs shuddering as my hips raised to hump against the pressure of his thumb.

“Oh! Sougo I’m gonna-” before I could finish, he pulled out entirely and moved my legs, pushing them against my chest. My legs naturally hung over his shoulders as he once again pushed himself into me, now in a mating press.

The pressure of his weight and the feeling of his cock pushing much deeper into me than before was almost overwhelming. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn’t even moan until he started pounding away.

Once again his hips continued their familiar, desperate pace, chasing after his own high. 

He sneered at the dazed look on my face, “You gonna cum? You should see yourself, honestly it’s embarrassing that you could be this slutty. I should take pictures and post them on the Shinsengumi bulletin board so people can see what you’re really like with me.” He chuckled, his voice slurred from pleasure. All I could do was grasp the sheets and whimper as he wrecked me.

I was so close to cumming and I could tell he was too with how his body shook with excitement. 

Then, Sougo’s eyes darkened, he leaned down so we were face to face. His eyes entirely focused on me and I couldn’t bring myself to look away. He looked me dead in the eyes before asking, “You ready to be a single mother?” 

…What the fuck? 

My eyes widened and face contorted into a look of confusion and disgust and that look was all he needed to push over the edge. He slammed into me one last time and let out an airy moan and his hips shook from how hard he just came. 

I felt his cum shoot into me in bursts, hot and sticky as it was, I stayed frozen in place. Any semblance of an orgasm was long gone for me, it felt like I’d just been splashed with cold water. 

Seriously what the actual fuck?

He lifted his head up with a smug smirk and gave me a sweet kiss on my cheek. 

“YOU’RE SO FUCKING IRRITATING!” I kicked him off the bed.

-----------------------

okay so I thought of this after seeing this screenshot

I havent actually read the fic but I was going though old pics on my phone and seen it and since I'm now Okita obsessed I decided to write this lol

[vivmaek]

MERCURY IN THE 12th HOUSE; Observations

Those who were born with Mercury in the twelfth house have terrible memory issues. It is hard for them to recall information on the fly, and as they get older they continue to forget about details within the past. Memories of their childhood remain fuzzy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they even forgot their own birthdays. This may have caused issues during schooling. People with this placement are smarter than they give themselves credit for. When processing new information, they need to take their time. They will not walk away without an in-depth understanding, they need to know all the pieces or they just won’t get it. Those with Mercury in the twelfth house see all the hidden details and can become rather tedious when trying to accomplish tasks. These types are not huge on expressing themselves. They are incredibly introverted and reserved. They are fairly honest, and rather than lying, they just won’t say anything at all. Silence is their best friend. They sit back and observe everyone from afar. They are good at picking up on body language and they understand what is happening with others on a subconscious level. However, when it comes to surface level conversations and interactions they struggle. Small talk does not come easy to these types, they find these situations to be rather awkward. These people have a kind nature, they just don’t really care about other people's mundane problems. Complaining and talking just for the sake of talking, is not something you’d catch a Mercury twelfth houser doing. They have a special ability in bringing communications and projects to a conclusion. They don’t enjoy public speaking and avoid this as much as possible. These individuals become over-stimulated very easily. Loud noises, bright lights, and strong smells affect them on a physical level. They struggle with anxiety and a general sense of nervousness. Their thought patterns tend to spiral out in a destructive manner. They are incredibly self-critical and their own thoughts or lack of perceived intelligence bring about great amounts of shame. It is hard for them to garner a sense of inner peace. I’ve noticed that people with this placement are constantly writing out to-do lists, this garners them a sense of control. Anothering interesting aspect I’ve seen in those with this placement, is their lack of bad habits! These people are clean and orderly, they don’t find themselves in stupid situations. They are incredibly intuitive without realizing it, and their gut tends to guide them into the right situations.

[thenewfuture]

Ranking the Masterminds of DanganRonpa and Fanganronpas

Hey everyone. During this break, I wanted to do some fun rankings that have been scrambling around in my brain for a while now. And the first one we got is ranking all of the DanganRonpa Masterminds.

The real true culprit behind their respective killing games, the ones forcing everyone to kill and distrust one another. The big final boss!

Quick rules to explain the process here:

-While their core character will be taken into account I will primarily be ranking their status as a mastermind first and foremost obviously. How they handled their killing games, hiding their identity and motivations for doing so.

-Only masterminds from fangans I have seen will be ranked, so if there's any one you don't see here it's most likely because I haven't seen it, so don't bother asking.

-Oh, and one final thing of course...The following will contain massive spoilers for the main DanganRonpa series, and certain fangans, take with your own risk.

#8 Akira Tsuchiya and Narumi Osone

DanganRonpa Rebirth holds a special place in my heart; it was the first fanganronpa I had heard about being a big April Fools joke, but soon I discovered the fanmade rework and dubbing for this project known as Rebirth Voices. Remaking the series in a new way with new twists, new class trials, and of course new-ish masterminds. I say new-ish because Akira was the original mastermind of Rebirth vanilla while Voices added Narumi as an extra mastermind.

And while I do indeed like Rebirth and its cast, the masterminds here leave a lot to be desired... And maybe that's because the series was cancelled before their roles of masterminds could get rolling, but these two aren't much compared to others. While we may never know what could have been, I will instead rank them based on the outline the Rebirth Voices crew provided.

So first Akira is your basic despair-filled mastermind fare. Influenced by his grandma's teachings of despair, made him the next generation of despair, and said grandma was killed by Kego and he wanted revenge, yada yada yada. Like I said, standard fare. And in Rebirth Vanilla, I hear he made it so Ayumu never really had any bad luck which is...a thing I guess.

Compared to him however, Narumi is......interesting... So she was in a rights group for Ultimates but lost her dad due to riots and so....joined Akira to make a killing game for.....f-for the sake of hope and.....and intended for Ultimates to be seen as saviors just like back then-

What the Nagito Komaeda, Hope Bagel Bullshit?!

Like....like why?! What? What for any of this?! I kinda get that in order for them to make this series they couldn't just have Akira be the mastermind, but seriously, what kind of reasoning is that?! And in chapter two, she used a corpse of one of her siblings to save Kego by have him swap places with him; WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?!

Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion because like I said, the series is cancelled and maybe they could have salvaged this storyline, but as it stands; these two don't have going for them and as a result, DanganRonpaRebirth seemingly ends right back where it started; as one big joke no one talks about anymore...

#7 Tsumugi Shirogane

Oh man guys! Are you ready? This is it, a new chapter for the DanganRonpa franchise, a killing game without Junko Enoshima to be a part of us! Sounds spectacular! How could they fuck this up?

Oh, I'll tell you how. Maybe it starts with having a story so gut-punchingly meta it basically hurts any form of theorizing and creation of any fanwork and community building, also pull the rug under the players' feet and into a ice cold pool of water so many times they develop psychological trust issues along with hypothermia, and to cap it all of, have the mastermind be so, FUCKING, BORING!

I'll go into my feelings about V3 as a whole another time, but for now I'll just stick to talking about Tsumugi, and oh my word, is this girl a whole bag of nothing true to her word. Like, I should feel something she's revealed to be the mastermind just like Shuichi was, but I just don't. I should feel some sort of betrayal and anxiety from the sheer thought that it could be someone we spent so much time with over the course of the game, THIS IS WHAT MYSTERY GAMES LIVE FOR, and yet that feeling never comes with her. You know why?

Because Tsumugi has nothing going for her.

Name me something she did over the course of this entire game. Anything, anything at all, anything of note. Go ahead, I'll wait. I'll be right here.

...........................

You can't think of anything can you? Not one single solitary thing Tsumugi has accomplished. Not one character moment. None, hmm?

"Well she was apart of the Bugs Meet and Greet" So were other characters and even Himiko and Tenko had a funny moment in there, next. "She was in Angie's students council group" Again, so were others and that cult accomplished a grand total of nothing as a result, try again. "That...that one cg in her Ultimate lab" You're addicted to porn. "Oh, what about that one time in the NWP with Shuichi" That moments amounts nothing more than establishing an alibi for the two of them and even when it comes into question the lie Shuichi told to get Kokichi to cough up his involvement, Tsumugi sweeps that shit right under the rug. Meaning this whole game, the mastermind has left virtually no impression until the very end. Do you realize how messed up that is!?

For out the entire duration of the killing game, Tsumugi has thing of note, "being so plain" It's her whole schtick.

Plain plain plain. Plain plain plain plain. Plain plain plain plain plain plain. Plain. Plain Plain Plain Plaaaaaaain.

Plain, plain plain plaaaaaain

Plain!

PlANE!

PLAINE!

PLAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

And it wouldn't even be that bothersome, if we were SHOWED how she was plain. I think this video goes into detail why Tsumugi just saying she's plain doesn't work too well. Because all she's doing is saying it. No examples whatsoever about this phenomenon. In Fire Emblem Awakening, there's this character Kellam, who has many supports dedicated to how he doesn't stick out and how others easily don't see him, Tsumugi doesn't have that. In Blowback, Akeru is so good at being a silent and invisible ninja, that hardly anyone sees or hears her, Tsumugi doesn't have that. Even Makoto, Komaru and Hajime, admit to themselves and others that they are so ordinary to others based on the things they like; Tsumugi gets none of that!

Why can't Tsumugi be shown being plain and forgotten? Be shown taling and being ignored by others, being shown that she heard or witnessed an event or conversation and wasn't noticed because she's so plain and inactive. Or be shown wearing something ridiculous and no notices her at all. Show, not tell, people, show, not tell!

Another thing I want to address real fast is how many think that Tsumugi is dangerous because she helped the killing game go on for like....53 seasons. And like.......no. At least I don't think so. Tsumugi kinda gives off the vibes that she was just an intern at TeamDR and was given the chance to participate in a few killing games, and mastermind the V3 one. But apparently fucked up so much that she ended the series in its entirety. Oops. In the pregame world that V3 is trying to tell, I just get the vibes that Tsumugi is just a massive DanganRonpa fan and nothing more.

We could had great things coming from having a brand new mastermind this game, but if we were just gonna get stuck with this bluenette plain Mary Jane here, I'd rather have it be Junko for the 53rd time honestly. At least then it'd be consistent.

#6 Kazou Tengan

Hey guys, DR3 sucks.

*Wooing and clapping ensues from the audience*

Thank you, thank you. Good, now that I've gotten the easy bait out of the way. Onto Tengan.

I will give props to the DanganRonpa 3 team, it's not Junko Enoshima again; let alone a young girl this time. But an old man. Okay....okay...it's different at least. Why did he become a mastermind in the place?

"He became brainwashed by watching a despair video given to him y Chisa" ......Huh....? O-Okay, I guess... H-His motivation for the game at least...?

"He wanted Ryota to use his talent to brainwash the world into hope" ..................huh.....? What...what....what the fu-

This seems like a last minute decision, like they just chose a random name out of a hat or flung a dart towards a spinning wheel. Of all characters they could have chosen to be the mastermind of the final killing game, all the Future Foundation Heads, and all past characters leading up to this point. They choose...Tengan... Why, exactly? Up until this point, Tengan has been a side character, his only moment of note is kicking Juzo's ass(to the praise of many), and fighting with Kyosuke. Again, none of this sets him up to be swayed towards despair. Even after his death he's rarely talked about, suppossedly left a dying message in his blood, but again, even then, Tengan leaves little to no impact on this story.

He shows up so few times in Despair Arc for him to matter, and like I said, does very little in Future Arc. So it really is like they just chose him randomly. And so unlike my huge rantings about Narumi and Tsumugi at their roles of being the mastermind, Tengan doesn't even warrant enough to invoke any emotion out of me. He's just mastermind simply cuz...that's all. It says a lot about this series when even Kodaka doesn't like that the anime made Tengan the mastermind. But in any case, if we can take away one thing from this dissapointing mess; it's that NicoB was right once again with his crazy bullshit predicting powers.

#5 Izuru Kamukura

Top five baby, woo!

Now Izuru is interesting because, even though he techinally counts as a mastermind, he really......isn't in the grand scheme of things. Let me explain...

He is the one to plant the virus into the Neo World Program, that much is true, but in DR2 we're simply told about his actions and technically don't even get to meet the guy face to face. So one could make the argument that is really was just Junko, again. It wasn't until Despair Arc of DanganRonpa 3 that we truly get to see Izuru's character and what he's like. And I do like Izuru as a character, I think he's incredibly interesting. But as a mastermind....eh...

Izuru is neutral, let's just get right to the chase, Izuru is true neutral. He could care less about any ideals of hope or despair, he just lacks any empathy or any human emotions for that matter and just wants to go with whatever doesn't bore him. He's not overly edgy, evil, dark story, Shadow the Hedgehog person that most portray him as. He really is.....just neutral about everything. He only goes with Junko because she proved to him how unpredictable despair can be, which is why if literally anyone else got to him first, like Chiaki or Chisa, maybe the Tragedy wouldn't have occurred!

Wow guys, could you imagine that. What if we treated Izuru as an actual person, and not some lab experiment. Fascinating!

Izuru was quite literally a means to an end for Junko Enoshima, and I've feel like we've just scratched the surface of his potential. But as it stands, Izuru isn't really evil just misunderstood.

#4 Utsuro and Akane Taira

There is quite a lot to talk about with both Utusor and Akane, so I'm just going to break them up first.

-4a. Utsuro.

Utsuro is....fascinating to me. There are time where I like him more than Izuru; a much more interesting and relatable backstory, a proper hand in the story he derives from, and we do see him emerge at the final trial of DRA rather than just others talking about him. And then there are times....when I don't like him as much as Izuru. It's no surprise that DRA is literally just DanganRonpa 0.5, with A LOT of characters and trials mimicking the first game and even pulling from UDG and DR2. "A somewhat demigod bored of the world helps out Junko Enoshima just to see what despair is like and helps her achieve her goal" Golly, where have I heard that before?

And to make matters worse comes his innate ability, what he's known for; Divine Luck. Unlike Izuru who has multiple talents and therefore has many abilities at his disposal to take care of any and all threats that could come his way, Utsuro just has luck. And not just any luck, mind you. Luck so strong it nearly bends reality itself like the Netflix's Live Action Death Note movie to make whatever Utsuro wants, when he wants it. And therein lies the problem.

Utsuro's Divine Luck is so great, you can ask literally how he did anything and the answer is simply: Divine Luck did it.

"How did Junko's plan go so smoothly?" Divine Luck did it.

"How did Utsuro swap places with Yuki so easily?" Divine Luck did it.

"How did Utsuro get so much food and money when he was alone and starving?" Divine Luck did it.

"How did Tsurugi survive getting shot point blank at his temple?" Divine Luck did it.

"How did Akane survive with her wound and nearly drowning in the ocean?" Divine Luck did it!

"HOW DOES THE DAMN SUN AND MOON RISE?!"

WHO CARES?! ANAKOS DID IT! DIVINE LUCK DID IT!

It really gets worse in SDRA2 when basically all of Void, Mikado especially, are just sucking his dick dry essentially because emo demigod boys are just that damn hot. It really is a coin flip on whether I like Utsuro or not.

-4b. Akane Taira

Now onto the hyper energetic and emotional side to our blank and emotionless trouble maker.

Akane Taira I can say is much more fleshed out and interesting compared to her master. First off, her story of being lonely and on the streets forced to make ends meets by doing jobs as a maid is honestly really sad and compelling. She's Yuki/Utsuro's main support throughout the killing game and helps him on many occasions. So to ultimately reveal her true nature by the end of chapter five is such a gut-punch to my emotions. (Take notes, Tsumugi!)

That being said; there isn't really that much different compared to what we've seen of Akane previously and her despair persona. Just that she's really acrobatic and horny, I suppose... Which isn't really bad thing I'd say, she gets the jobs done well.

Her legacy spreads and haunts the Kisaragi Foundation in SDRA2, Akane has left a lasting impression on the surviving trio that the mere thought of her coming back sends them into shivers and willing to do anything to prevent that from happening, and you can mainly see it from how they treat Sora when they finally come together. But Akane is mainly following orders and whatever Utsuro wants, so like Izuru if Utsuro was just found by literally someone good, I'm sure Akane would've turned out fine as well.

And the interesting thing about Akane is much like how others are hurt by Akane's betryal, Akane has come to grow close with her classmates as well. She wants Master Utsuro back but at the same time she doesn't want them to die either. She has a heart, she's compassionate, she understands, she empathizes.

These two are really quite something, and I do like them. But there are things about these two that hold them back for me and just shy away from making the top three.

#3 Junko Enoshima

Here she is everybody! Junko-MotherFuckin'-Enoshima! The bitch that just keeps on coming back! The one that started it all!

Junko has a rep for coming back so many damn and being ludicrously tied to DanganRonpa's man lore and literally every other's story. Started the Tragedy, blackmailed Juzo, basically groomed the Warriors of Hope and leaned demigods like Izuru and Utsuro to her cause, all so flawlessly that one would call her a "Mary-Sue" in any other sense. So with all this in mind, why is she so high on the list?

Well, one of the reasons is that most of the other candidates SUCK! And the other is that......she just works.

Junko Enoshima is shallow, incredibly so. She causes Despair, just for the fun of it. She has no sad or tragic backstory, no reason to this other than cause she can. She is despair incarnate, causes Despair for Despair's sake, and there's nothing more to it than that.....and that works.

Sometimes, you don't need a relatable villian for your story. Sometimes, a bitch just evil. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that.And because she works so well it good explain why she keeps coming back. She's the Bowser to our Mario, the Dr. Eggman to our Sonic the hedgehog, the Ridley to our Samus Aran, the Xehanort to our Sora. We've peaked with her and there can hardly be any other villian to replace her. And with a story as wacky sounding as DanganRonpa, a hammy and almost cartoony villian such as her can only live in this strange world.

Junko works when you just stop thinking about her. Her motivations, her character, her personality, they all answer for the simple sake of despair. Like I said, incredibly shallow like a Saturday morning cartoon villain. But they're typically the best and most impressionable villains around.

#2 Monaca Towa

Pickle Satan!

I said we've peaked with Junko and none can really compete with her as a mastermind of a villian for this series, and I do mean that. But Monaca Towa here just may come close.

She's like Junko in almost every possible way. Sociopathic nature, manipulates people psychologically, and uses others like tools with no remorse for her actions. Saying Monaca here is FUCKED UP, would be a huge understatement of the century. But on the other hand, unlike Junko; you can kinda understand where Monaca is coming from. Abandoned by her birth mother to live with her abusive father and step-brother who obviously don't give two craps about her and make her know it. And apparently the treatment is so bad, when Monaca shows up one day with a wheelchair, they don't question why. Telling, isn't it?

While she's immensely smart of her age, she still is just a kid. Throwing temper tantrums when things can't go her way and using her cute looks and status as a child to trick others into working for her. She is vile, Chapter 4 will make you know this with what she did to Nagisa. And was already showed signs of being heartless when she nearly got the WOH to jump off the school rooftop, remember, this was BEFORE Junko showed up.

Monaca was perfect to be a complete mastermind, Ultra Despair Girls set her up to be the next Junko Enoshima, and when she finally comes back in DR3....they just throw it away anticlimactically and send Monaca into space.....sure I guess... Though it is kind of funny in a way, like she did not DR3 so much she yeeted herself out of the plot. I respect it.

I do like Monaca being as unsympathetically as Junko, but there are times when I do want her to be better, she is still just a kid after all. It's not her fault that she grew up in a shit environment. But then again, that's what makes Monaca so fascinating. There are many sides and many layers to dissect her, to pick a part bit by bit, it's intriguing to me.

It's with these reasons why I think Monaca is an amazing mastermind going by the main series timeline. .....Buuuuuutttt....if we were to include fangans into the mix. I think one does beat her.

#1....Mikado Sannoji

Behold, ladies and gentlemen! The master of dimensions the pleaser of crowds, Mikado Sannoji; Charming Magician!~

Mikado checks every box for me. Cool design? Check! Great personality? Check! Hammy? Check! Unrentlessly eeeevil? Checkity check check!

I do believe it was a stroke of PURE, GENUIS to unviel Mikado as the mastermind in the early prologue. Like, HOLY SHIT! The mastermind's right there! Oh my god! What a fucking twist to start off with!

Mikado is so charming with his eccentric personality and unhinged abilities as a magician, that for like two chapters you kind of forget he's the mastermind!

Like look at him! Look at this silly dude!

So funny, so witty, so goofy!

So, waitwaitwait, go back-

Waitwaitwait, this isn't right. Go back, go back!

OHMYGODGOBACK!!!

...ahem....like I was saying. even though Mikado is silly, I don't think he's so silly he ruins the narrative. It's a perfect balance if you ask me.

The mysteries surrounding him and his power of the other Void members are not to be trifled with. He's the boss for a reason folks, don't forget it. But because he was revealed so suddenly there are at times a lot of humorous moments with the cast where they either ignore him, kick him out of activities, or just straight up tell him to die.

And what I like most about is....finally...FINALLY GUYS....it's a mastermind....WITH NO RELATION TO JUNKO ENOSHIMA WHATSOEVER!

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WE DID IT! WE CAN HAVE A GAME WITHOUT HER! FUCK JUNKO ENOSHIMA! HE DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT BITCH! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

...I mean he does kind of copy her plan to use the Neo World Program, but Mikado could not literally give a fuck about Junko. He's all about that Divine D as I said before.

If there's one thing I can say I don't like about Mikado, its that once chapter 6 rolls around he just becomes another typical, "human are inferior to my AI genuis. Gwahahaha" stereotype that kind of kills his whole magician he vibe he had going. And his plan literally factored on him not even thinking that Akane would be the one to have Divine Luck when she emerged from the ocean. My man has linear thinking. If you pointed this out to him I'm pretty sure he'd explode.

But despite all that, Mikado is clearly set on his goal and will stop at nothing to achieve it, and DAMN NEAR SUCCEEDS I WILL ADD! He won the chapter 5 trial and everyone would have died had the Kisaragi Foundation not intervened, by all accounts, Mikado won. That is INSANE! And I love SDRA2 for breaking the molds of past DanganRonpas! With all that said, I tip my hat to the AI magician.

Mikado Sannoji is my favorite mastermind, personally.

-Mod

[myfairkatiecat]

Kate Wetherall, Katherine Pulitzer, and your Keefe boy :)

Aaaaaahh yes yes yes these are really good ones ahdkdhsnbdjshssj

Kate Wetherall:

Ok so. The reason I say she works best as a part of a dynamic is because while she’s awesome on her own, she is MOST compelling with the rest of the mysterious Benedict society!!!the four of them together are so special to me

Also I’m a Kate apologist, she’s never done anything wrong and I stand by it :)

(And yeah if you see the way I write Kate you may see me projecting. It might have something to do with me being in sixth grade when I first read the books and going “omg we have the same name!!!”)

Katherine Pulitzer:

Look I relate to this girl SO MUCH you don’t even understand 😭

And the fandom has a tendency to villainize her or make her seem problematic simply for being complex, which… is a problem I’ve been seeing a lot of lately, actually.

I love her SO MUCH. She’s kinda scary but also she’s me

AND FINALLY

Keefe Sencen:

Once again flattered by your interest in hearing me talk abut my interests that you don’t share 🥹

Okay look. I LOVE KEEFE. And I initially colored in “they’ve never done anything wrong” cause I have tendency to be a Keefe apologist, but if I’m being real here he’s definitely done stuff wrong 😭 @phtalogreenpoison has heard me talk about his character in detail and knows EXACTLY what I’m talking about.

Why the tiny scribble on “too much screen time”? Well…….it’s technically true. He does get too much screen time, and for not being the MC, he’s started getting a lot of his POV in Sophie’s story. However, I EAT IT UP cause I’m a pretty standard basic Keefe girlie. So while I understand the side of the fandom that’s beginning to want more of some other characters, and I think that’s soooo valid, I also am totally eating up all the Keefe screen time. SO EXCITED for the Keefe book that’s coming out this fall. I love this boy. So much.

Also would I marry him irl?? uhhhhhhh if Sophie didn’t exist then YES he’s mine. But I’m a girl’s girl and he belongs to Sophie <3 they’re so cute together, too!!

Somebody is gonna come at me for saying he’s deeper than he seems cause we actually get quite a bit of insight into his character depth, but I think even what we do see doesn’t fully cover it. Keefe is more open with his friends than he’s ever been with anyone else… but he definitely has a LOT of defense mechanisms in place, which is why he has that cool-kid-doesn’t-care-doesn’t-work-only-flirts vibe going on in the first book, and the first time we REALLY get slapped in the face with “haha you knew he had a facade but here have a GUT PUNCH” is the quote in the beginning of book three when Sophie suggests they stop by Keefe’s house and he just sorta looks down and says “I…don’t bring friends home.”

Like. We knew his parents sucked. But something about seeing him vulnerable like that. Ahdkfhdjshdjdshs

I think the mischief making and flirting is also a real aspect of his personality, but a lot of the sorta bad-boy-ish reputation he’s got going on at school in the beginning books is a front to cover his ✨issues✨ and I don’t think we even see the full depth of how much the reveal of his mother as a villain and her constant attempts to make him “embrace the change” and have a “legacy” tied to her evil thoughts impact him. We know it’s hard for him and we totally see that, but even in Keefe’s POV he avoids thinking about it, and… honestly it’s up to us fanfic writers to really delve into that angst. Shannon sorta tells us it sucks for him, but doesn’t really show us (not fully, at least) cause Sophie is the main character, not him.

And do I project my issues on him? …maybe a little…his particular brand of the “using humor to cover up my problems” trope hits very close to home for me. I deflect with humor in the exact same flippant way, and just like with Keefe, sometimes it works and sometimes it gets me in trouble with my friends when I need to be serious.

(Yes I want to carry Keefe in a hand a like a tiny dog. Not elaborating.)

Wasn’t sure whether or not to say he gets done dirty by the fans. Historically, this fandom is head over heels in love with him, but right now there’s been a bit of a turn towards combating Fitz hate (another character that often gets pitted against Keefe unjustly bc of shipping discourse) with Keefe hate and saying he’s problematic when he’s really just complex.

So yeah I’m not normal about Keefe at all, if you couldn’t tell.

I managed to talk for a very long time about him

You can tell where the brain bees are buzzing rn can’t you

[iheartchv]

Hey I was hoping I could get a cod matchup? Sorry in advance for the yapping

Umm as for appearance I am 5’4” in my early twenties. I have layered curly brown hair that comes to just above my shoulder, blue eyes, freckles pale as hell, a few scars here and there that I’m kinda proud of (from various causes) I don’t really have a specific style it can range from a tank top and sweats to t-shirt and jeans or something completely wild, color coded decked out in jewelry, skirts, layers the whole bit. Relatively active build, used to be a gymnast until an injury now I just workout twice a week w a friend. Interests; I like movies top five rn probably Scream (1996), Spiderverse, 10 things I hate about you, the last unicorn, Dead poets society, +Star Wars cause I can’t leave it out. I like playing chess every now and then, I’d say I’m pretty good but I still have a ways to go. I’m also an artist, and I like music I can’t do anything music related I just like listening to it, all kinds. I like baking when I’m stressed, typically cookies during finals week at 2 am. My future prospects, or at least what they are currently, is just going to law school, after that I’m not really sure, I’ve thought ab going the military route, both of my parents served/are serving, so I’ve thought ab the possibility of being a military JAG or something in Intel, but I’m still feeling for it, I mostly like law cause I’m pretty good at it and I like knowing more than people. I’m Bi so my taste in Men/Women varies. As much as I’d like to say I don’t have a type, hot people are hot, there have been patterns in the past few fictional guys. Tbh my taste in men is shit, like I don’t have daddy issues, I have a great relationship with him, but my past fictional crushes say other wise. But basically, capability is HOT, if they’re good at something to the point of mastering it I’m entranced. Women are just pretty, there’s not much there. I’m relatively paranoid, even describing myself like this online is strange, I think it’s just growing up around military but I’m typically just cautious. That and trust issues. I’ve done some martial arts/self defense and I think sparring is really fun I just need someone to teach me. Also I am a huge simp (with shit taste as my friends say) I’m an ambiavert, so I like to be pretty adaptable depending on who I’m around. I’m also German/American but definitely more American than anything else, I ‘grew up’ in south Germany and we still have family there but since we moved here I’ve forgotten most of  the language. JFC in hindsight I am SO SORRY about all this I got carried away. I hope it didn’t come across as self absorbed 😭😅 thanks 

Sorry again 

🤔 I'll pair you with...

Captain John Price 🚬

Price might be the one to fall for you

If you ever decide/decided to join the military, him and Laswell will look through files and find you

He can't help but feel that you would bring something to the table

Recruiting you, along with many others, he'd be watching you

Through the tests, he'd be silently hoping you'd pass

When he asks to see you, you think you've done something wrong

Instead he just tells you that you've done a good job with all the training and tests he's put you through

"I admit, I thought you would call it quits anytime soon... but... you're determination surprised me."

"You've got guts, spirit. I like that"

He wants to take you under his wing and train you

He was right about you; there was something special there

Though he didn't know just how special you would be to him later on 🤭

After many months and near death experiences later, he'd come to realize he cares about you... a lot

💞

When off duty, he will take you somewhere to talk

Price doesn't play games, you know that

So... he tells you that he really likes you

All this time he'd spent getting to know you, he felt something he hadn't in a long time

One time, when he looked like he was about to fall asleep he was surprised that you showed so much concern for him; You wanted to do something, anything, for him

His hand gently held yours, showing how gentle he can be

"If you'll have me, love, I can make you happy... even if it takes my whole life to"

[suba-sekai]

i'll be with you — PRINCE TOYA X KNIGHT AKITO

Honestly, all of the royals were all incredibly kind to him. Whether they were talking out of face or out of genuine interest, Toya did enjoy his time with the people he was introduced to.

But he really wasn't interested in any of them. Not in that way. He thought they were all nice, but he'd never willingly marry an of them. Toya couldn't find himself liking any of the princesses he was shown romantically, because...

"Oi." Akito flicked the prince's forehead, pulling him out of his thoughts.

———

A couple days have passed since the celebration of Aoyagi Toya's birthday.

Toya watched as the stars twinkled in the sky. Listened to the sounds of nature—the wind blowing between the trees, the river rushing down the stream, the crickets chirping from wherever they might be—anything that could calm his panicked mind.

May 25 has now passed. His family had given him such a big celebration for a such special age. They had invited many lords and princesses and other royals to the event, most were from powerful kingdoms that Toya didn't bother reading about.

Twenty-one. Toya Aoyagi, the crown prince of their kingdom, had just turned twenty-one.

It meant... It meant that....

"Prince Aoyagi? What are you doing here?"

At the sound of someone's voice, Toya flinched so intensly from his spot on the ground he might've ended up flying away. He quickly turned to the direction where the sound had come from. Who could've found him-?

"Oh."

The one who had found him wasn't just anyone. With his armour shining in the moonlight, Akito Shinonome—second-in-command of the castle guards, as well as being Toya's personal knight—stood before the prince.

"Akito... How did you realise I'd be here?"

"Gut feeling." Was all he said.

Akito walked closer, before plopping himself down on the space right beside Toya. His armor making light clanking noises as he did so. Somehow, just seeing the knight in front of him made every other noise in the night disappear. As if Akito had commanded everything to go silent by his presence.

(That's stupid, Toya knows. It's just his mind focusing on something else. Something more important than what the forest had to offer.)

"So," Akito began, leaning back against the wall behind them. He was looking at Toya from the corner of his eye. "What's got you down?"

"...Huh?"

"Don't play dumb." Akito turned his head towards the other. His brows were tight-knit, and his mouth was formed into a small frown. To anyone else, it might've been a rather intimidating expression. But Toya found it cute.

What?

"You haven't been looking good for the past couple of days. Also, the fact that you're here in the first place says something. You don't go here unless you have some big issue in that head of yours."

A small smile spread across Toya's face. Akito really knew him too well sometimes. But just as quickly as it came, his smile faded. His focus shifting back on to the looming darkness in front of them.

Akito didn't pester or push. He simply sat quietly beside Toya, waiting for a response. They sat and stared at nothing in particular.

One beat, two beats passed before Toya finally spoke.

"My birthday happened recently," He said.

He could tell Akito was a bit confused. Shouldn't a birthday be a good thing? was probably what he was thinking.

"During the party... My parents had invited many princesses. Introduced them to me, one-by-one."

"Ah." The knight caught on to what Toya was saying.

The prince hummed a low note. He gathered his knees up to his chest, his expression tightening as he continued.

"I could tell. I could tell just from their faces. They weren't just introducing those royals to me out of courtesy. They were looking at me. He was looking at me.

"'Pay attention,'" Toya deepened his voice in an imitation of his father. It bothered him, how easy comes to him. "'You'll be marrying one of these girls soon enough.'"

A shiver went down his spine just from repeating the message the king was sending him. It's not that any of the princesses he had met were bad or terrible. In fact, Azusawa was sweet and he's familiar with Asahina. Not to mention, Shiraishi was amongst the people "introduced", and he'd known her since their childhood.

Honestly, they were all incredibly kind to him, of all people. Whether they were talking out of face or out of genuine interest, Toya did enjoy his time with the people he was introduced to.

But he really wasn't interested in any of them. Not in that way. He thought they were all nice, but he'd never willingly marry any of them. Toya couldn't find himself liking any of the princesses he was shown romantically, because...

"Oi." Akito flicked the prince's forehead, pulling him out of his thoughts. Toya put his hands on the spot Akito flicked, a small flush spreading across his face. He gave the other a confused, and perhaps slightly annoyed, look.

The knight looked even more worried. "Stay with me, Toya," He said, bringing his hand down and instead held onto the prince's arm. If it were any brighter, Akito would've seen how much deeper Toya's blush got.

"Apologies."

"Don't worry about it."

The two fell silent again. Akito's hand still lingered on the other's arm. It felt like there was static in the same spot. It made Toya want to pull away from the touch, yet also get closer.

Maybe it was the late-night leading his next actions, but the prince leaned onto Akito's shoulder. His head laying comfortably in the crook of his neck.

The knight had noticeably tensed up, making Toya worry. Was that too much? Had he overstepped a boundary?? They do usually stay close to eachother, proximity wasn't usually an issue. But somehow this felt more intimate than all the times before.

Right as the prince was about to pull away and profusely apologise, Akito had relaxed himself. Not only that, but he wrapped his hands around him: one brushing Toya's hair, and the other on his back.

Wasn't this even more intimate than earlier!?

"I can't say I know what you're going through. Hell, I can't even wrap my head around the idea of marrying other than love."

Akito continued brushing Toya's hair. He was certain that the knight could feel how hot his face was right now. Toya tried to calm his breathing down, listening to Akito's voice as he continued speaking.

"But what I do know is, no matter what you do, and no matter what happens... I'll stay with you through and through. Got it?" He leaned closer to Toya, if that was even possible.

"I promised- I swore on my life that day. I would be with you until the day I die.

"You won't be alone. I'll make sure of it."

Toya tightened his grip on Akito. Maybe focusing on the voice now was also a mistake. Despite the cool air, it felt so warm in Akito's arms. Oh, how he wished he could stay there forever.

But he knew. He knew he couldn't. "Even if I devote my life to another person, you'd still stay?"

"Of course."

"Even if I talked back to my father, Even if I'm kicked out or- or exiled. You'd...?"

"No matter what happens."

Hah... Toya really didn't deserve Akito. He's way too nice to him.

"...You don't have to 'deserve' care, Toya. It's not something you earn that way."

"Oh," Toya mumbled in shock. Seems he said that out loud. He heard Akito sigh, before pushing Toya away from him. Still holding onto the crown prince by the arms.

"You better keep that in your head. I'll repeat it as much as I have to," Akito said, looking straight at Toya's eyes. "As long as you'll have me, I'll stay with you."

"And if I wanted that to be for forever?"

Akito smiled. "Then so be it."

His smile was always so charming, imperfectly perfect. His dimples would show, and his eyes would squint to the point of looking like they were closed.

Toya smiled back. Not his strained smile that he uses in public, but the one he reserves for the other. An improper and lopsided smile, one that showed his teeth.

They both giggled. Akito then stood up, letting go of Toya briefly, before extending his hand out to the other. The crown prince quickly took the offer, being lifted up to stand.

"Let's go back now? It's much past your bedtime, Your Highness," Akito teased lightly.

Toya didn't want to go back.

He knew, the moment that just happened would shatter the moment he entered the castle walls.

He knew that the future waiting for him... wouldn't be a happy one.

And even if Akito would stay by his side, it was just because of duty. Akito only cared for Toya because it was his appointed job as the crown prince's knight.

"Let's go."

Even though Akito promised, Toya knew. Their life would never be the way he wants it to be.

[unluckilyimnot]

love letter

they receive a love letter in some way

characters: Mitsuya, Chifuyu, Ran, Rindou, Izana, Sanzu

note: Hi! it’s not been so long but I still kinda feel bad haha sorry. I just suck at living lately. it doesn’t sound so good but yeah 

Mitsuya 

this boy is perfect, it’s sure he already received some but still flustered every time it happens. 

no matter if it’s given face to face or in his bag/locker, he’ll love it sm and keep them - even more if it’s unsigned even tho he would have known who this is 

i can see him having a secret admirer and in this case he Wants to know ! 

he won’t force or search people if it’s just one but when he recognize handwriting he’ll want to know  

he’ll probably fall for the person just with that and we’re almost sure that this man doesn’t care about appearance so yeah, np with him 

if he ever find out who this, it’ll be weird at first to put a face and a voice on the person behind those letters

but he’ll face them one day anyway to ask them out

Chifuyu

he’s been dreaming about it okay, no matter how he receive it

this boy trained and waited all his whole life for this 

on d-day he will obviously failed at keeping his calm and act cool but he really tried

he’s a blushing mess no matter if they give him face to face or if he finds it - but if he finds it he’ll freak out and just llslsls yk ?

if it’s an anonymous letter, he WILL try to find them and he for sure work it out (i believe in him) 

when he does, he’ll see what he’ll do base on how they appeared to him and with some times

Ran 

use to it pt.2, it probably happened a lot in high school

if he got a love letter one day, and he knows who it’s from, he’ll tease tf out of them

if think he can get mean and talk shit about people if he doesn’t find them attractive or special

he can start to play with them then just ghost them and never give an explanation 

but, if he actually take a real interest in someone, i think i would be rather kind with them

like, asks about their schedules, their passions, things they like in general

the tease would still be there but less intense bc he’s a caring guy when he actually appreciate people 

in general, he’ll became sweeter and really attentive too

Rindou 

use to it pt.3, high school thing too

he probably prefers when people do it face to face, cause it prove they have guts - even tho it probably bother him 

but on the other hand, he also kinda appreciate when it’s indirect but signed 

i’m sure he would hates it if people don’t because it seems like a weak behavior 

it boost his ego tho, he surely loves it a lot 

he’s use to straight up stop people, or tease a bit, because he doesn’t know them yk 

if he has some time to observe them and all, maybe he’ll considerate if he want to talk more with them or not

Izana

would be surprised pt.1 

he’s feral and has no boundaries, i don’t think anyone ever dared do that - on the outside he’s scary af

so if someone he doesn’t really know gives this to him one day, he’ll be surprised but in a good way (?) 

idk if he’ll let them come into his life tho, even if he can be interested

he has big issues, and i’m not sure he’ll let people know him easily - or at all 

maybe if they try to go slow and step by step according to his pace, after some time he’ll let them

i don’t think he’s reluctant to casual social interaction in general and he can kinda play to see how they are and can be

if he think they ever deserve his time, he’ll take some more time to know what they can give him and let them in

Sanzu 

would be surprised pt.2

when he was younger i think people were intimidated by him so it probably never really happened to him and now he’s just dangerous as hell- anyway

with all of that i think he’ll be surprised if someone give him a love letter one day but in a good way and maybe he won’t be mean or snobby about it 

like wow someone has an interest in him even if he’s that reckless ? maybe it’ll pick his curiosity too

not that he would show interest but that doesn’t mean he pass it away easily 

even with his whole image, i’m sure he likes pretty things and a pretty handwriting would probably make him read it multiple times, just to process every word

he’s not the type to search to know who this is tho if it’s anonymous, but if it’s signed, same as others, he’ll take time to know what to do before

but would probably fall just because they pick an interest in him - as long as they’re not annoying too