#people SHOVE me

[i-chew-on-pushpins]

the other day my coworker told a kid to just "squeeze in" next to me. i didn't even really register this remark, i was standing in what was essentially a closet. it's a tight fit for anyone. a few minutes later, she stopped me to apologize for her choice of words. she said she didn't mean to imply anything about my body like that and she wanted to know if i needed anything to feel better.

i am so unaccustomed to anyone else thinking about fat people's needs or feelings that it took me several seconds to even recognize what she was talking about. i didn't know how to respond or what to say. i hadn't registered her comment as potentially fatphobic partially because the space i was in was genuinely very small for an adult of any size but also because i am so used to just not thinking about my body or the ways people are casually cruel to it.

i try to ignore the fact that people scowl and push me in the grocery store. it took my wife pointing out why i am always being slammed into for me to recognize it. i ignore the way people look at me with annoyance on planes or the bus. i ignore the way doctors speak to me, nurses second-guess my words, clothing store employees look at me when i walk into straight size stores.

i ignore when people talk about dieting and weight loss and 'guilty foods' around me, to me, waiting for me to join in on their game. i ignore people's surprise when i talk about enjoying physical activity, eating mostly vegetarian, being a fairly active person

and so it threw me when my thin coworker just...knew what was up. she recognized the potential hurt in her words and came to me about them immediately. i've seen her books about unlearning fatphobia. i know she listens to the same podcast about diet culture and wellness scams that i do. i know it's not just a kindness but an active interest and focus she's undertaking.

it's been a couple weeks but i can't stop feeling seen and known by this. like maybe i can take off those blinders. maybe if i start pointing out people's words, actions, stares, maybe someone will have my back

[dailymanners]

Always use "excuse me" if you have to get into someone else's personal space.

Someone at the store is standing in front of the shelf where there's a can you want to grab? Don't just reach into their personal space without warning, say "excuse me" or "pardon my reach" first so that they at least have a warning that someone is about to reach into their personal space, and most importantly, so that they have a chance to move before you get into their space.

Or if someone is standing on a walkway or in a doorway you need to get through, don't just silently shove past them or squeeze past them, say "excuse me" so that they have a warning that a someone is about to squeeze or shove into their personal space, and they have a chance to move out of the way before you do you.

People deserve a fair warning if someone is about to squeeze or shove or reach into their personal space. A lot of people are not okay with having someone, but especially a stranger, randomly shove or squeeze or reach into their personal space without warning. They also deserve a chance to move out of the way first for the sake of their comfort.

Try to avoid just staring at people who are in your way and expecting them to read your mind that you want them to move. Most people cannot, in fact, read minds, so having someone stand in front of them and stare at them often only leads to making them feel uncomfortable and frustrated.

But also more importantly, if you are standing somewhere someone needs to get to, and they say excuse me, you should move aside for them even if just temporarily, so they can avoid the discomfort of having to reach into your personal space or squeeze past you.

If someone is saying "excuse me" it's because they would like you to move because they don't want to have to get into your personal space, whether it's out of respect for you, or just because they themselves are not comfortable getting in your personal space.

All of this goes double for people with trauma and/or people who are neurodivergent. If someone has trauma related to abuse or assault they may find it more upsetting or possibly triggering to suddenly have someone shoving or reaching in their personal space without warning.

Or, many types of neurodivergence can make it especially disturbing and unpleasant to have someone else in your personal space, especially without warning.

You can never be 100% sure who is and isn't traumatized and/or neurodivergent, so always practice respecting other's personal space by giving them a fair warning with "excuse me" or "pardon my reach" before getting in their personal space, and moving aside when you hear those magic words. Or, even if someone isn't traumatized nor neurodivergent, it's still fair to not like someone in your personal space without warning and not being given the opportunity to move first.

[romijuli]

It’s not that I don’t LIKE the Fandom Popular Pairings, it’s that I find the assumption that everyone ships them and the general all-consuming nature of said pairings to be kinda exhausting,

[aeide-thea]

on principle opposed to describing art i dislike as 'masturbatory' because even though it's an alluringly contemptuous word to sneer it's impossible to reconcile with my pro-masturbation stance

[weirdmageddon]

help whats with him clinging to shit. almost every panel he is shown theres something hes clinging to

[thehealingsystem]

It's so wild to me that as a community we're still so hostile to multigender and genderfluid people existing in gay and lesbian spaces.

You...are aware that people who are both men and women are allowed to be gay, right? And lesbian? Their other genders doesn't cancel their connection to womanhood, or manhood, or whatever else they id with. They are allowed to be gay despite their fem-alignment, and they are allowed to be lesbian despite their masc-alignment.

It comes from these weird online spaces that the standard to be gay or lesbian is to be a "non-woman" or a "non-man," which is inherently transmultiphobic and...extremely ahistorical. And completely misunderstands nonbinary identity. So if you're both then you just don't belong anywhere I suppose.

[chloecherrysip]

Head empty, only thinking about Ultra Protective Big Brother Mario at all times and how ever since he was a literal baby who just learned to walk, his first, strongest instinct, as unthinking and instantaneous as a reflex, as breathing, has been to position himself in between Luigi and the slightest hint of danger with absolutely ZERO hesitation

(Their expressions are EXACTLY the same in the 1st and 3rd image!!!! Some things never change!!!! LOOK HOW HARD I CAN CRY!!!!!)

[celestialrealms]

[shorthaltsjester]

the mighty nein - critical role

this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.

[haunted-xander]

Do you ever think about how Alisaie's biggest fear is losing the people she cares about? How the very first conversation you have with her alone, a deeply personal one, is about her confiding in you about those fears? Telling you that she hated the state of the world Louisoix died for because, to her, it wasn't worth the sacrifice? She tells you about all the allies she made and lost, who she watched die and could do nothing to save them.

Do you ever think about how Alisaie was consistently one of the first to act, to recklessly throw herself at danger throughout stb? She didn't care (as much) about herself getting hurt, but she'd be damned if she let her friends suffer without doing anything. She has to be fast and proactive, because if she can't protect them even when striking first, how would she be able to when acting after the fact?

Do you ever think about how every time her loved ones are in peril/are in risk of being in peril her heart just breaks? How whenever someone's safety is unsure she panics and immediately tries to contact them/rush to their aid? When Castrum Abania's cannon shot the tower that, for all she knew, Alphinaud was still in, she immediately stops what she's doing and runs to it in panic because her brother was in there and he might be dead.

Do you ever think about how when the Scions start getting their souls yanked to the First, Alisaie reacts the strongest? How, when Urianger and Y'shtola got taken, she fell to her knees shaking Uriangers body, screaming for him to wake up? And when Gaius appears with Alphinaud in the Burn, she immediately goes to fight him (before being stopped by Hien) because this man, who has been her enemy, is holding her brother's lifeless body. She doesn't care that she can't possibily beat him, he has her brother and she's already lost so much in such a short amount of time. She's lost Thancred, Y'shtola and Urianger already, she can't lose Alphinaud too.

Do you ever think about how you are the only one she can fully rely on at that time, but who is also at risk of being taken away? Of how she's so desperate for you to stay, to not be taken away, that Alisaie, who, for all her bluntness, prefers to rely on herself first and foremost, begs you not to leave her? She begs you. Alisaie does not beg. She yells at you to not do something, and she'll scold you to hell and back if you do it anyway, but she does not beg. But this time she did.

And then she ends up being taken away right in front of you. She cries out for help and uses her very last energy to reach out for you. And then she falls limp.

Do you ever think about how, when Alphinaud turns to tell her his plans at the end of Ultima Thule, she immediately rejects it without even letting him say it? She's lost so much and experienced so much grief, not only overall but also just in Ultima Thule. And she loathes to bring that grief onto another. Especially to one who has already lost so much, like you. She hates it. She ends up doing it, yes, but she hates it still.

DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT-

[saltpepperbeard]

i love love LOVE that stede had little to no reaction towards the captain's quarters being empty/trashed. like, he reacted exactly how i expected him to, how i hoped he would, ie making some kind of quippy comment about how it works for the space.

because yes, the library was his "pride and joy." yes, he had an entire auxiliary wardrobe dedicated to different outfits. yes, his entire space was decked out in finery and material things.

but at the end of the day, they're just that: things.

you know what matters more to him? his crew. his family. his beloved.

he willingly gave up his wealth to his family back on land, and then struggled right alongside his family at sea. he didn't scramble to make money for himself, but instead tried to get a bit more financially stable for his crew, for his love. he stayed right alongside his new family, and prioritized their wellbeing above his own.

it doesn't matter that those things are gone; what matters is that those he loves are safe and sound.

((and like, also, he is probably going to want to rebuild/get more little knickknacks and trinkets. but he'll be able to do so with his family, for his family. it'll be their collective space, their home and heart))

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

utter bullshit that we stop growing at a certain age.

humans should grow (both taller and wider) at a continuous rate throughout our lifespans. i want to be 80 years old with the proportions of an average human being except i am the height of a multistory building. that would be so fun. that would require so much societal rearrangement. this isn't a want it's a need

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Traverse Town

[bloodbruise]

just. james cursing out anyone who is afraid of his and reg's pit bull at the dog park. voice loud enough for the other pet owners to hear, he's going on and on about how, "just because she's a pit doesn't mean she's aggressive. the only ones who are, end up that way because of pendejos who mistreat them."

regulus is stood by his side, patting his arm, trying to hold back a giggle (because this happens every other time). his voice is gentle, "i know, james," trying to be calming, "but what can we do? sometimes its better to—"

but james is not listening, still barreling on, "i mean, dios mío, look at her love, how could anyone ever see her sweet face and think our girl is mean?"

and the dog is sitting there, just smiling dopily up at them (undoubtedly because james has the ball in his hand and is waving it throughout the air like a loon). and honestly, regulus cant help but sport the same love-dumb smile. because as ridiculous as james is, his heart is so, so big. overflowing with love and fierce protectiveness over his family, their family.

it makes warmth flood through regulus' chest, there's affection soft in his eyes and he's nodding, "yeah, yeah, you're right." he grabs the ball with one hand and drops the other around james' waist, and giving him a quick kiss and a smile. "c'mon, she'll have more fun with the two of us anyways."

[megamindsupremacy]

That comic that’s like *girl gets pushed into volcano* *girl comes flying out of volcano* “Volcano god says he’s gay, send hot boy sacrifices.” Dp x dc crossover with this premise When

[lord-westley]

Whenever there are no customers and no tasks to complete, i leave behind drawings everywhere at work