#personal holy trinity daddies

[blvckentropy]

My heartbeats

[lxvvie]

y'all, I made the mistake of revealing that I write fanfiction as a hobby, and when asked about the fandoms I write for, I broke it down as I know best: into cliques. I realize I might be shaking the table but it is what it is.

This is what I said for CoD (I've since add some more stuff):

You got the forever war between Gaz Nation and Gaz Deniers. May or may not be rooted in his attractiveness as a person of color, opinions vary (read: it most definitely is). Bonus points if the racism comes out in full force. DOUBLE/TRIPLE those points if it's expressed using butchered ass AAVE. 🥴

You got the Masked Men Lovers Brigade of which König, Ghost, and Keegan are the patron saints and arguably the holy trinity.

You got the Peepaw Price Lovers who absolutely adore his chonky cheeks, peepaw mannerisms, lumberjack body complete with the slutty waist, and relative long-suffering thanks to the shenanigans of the rest of the crew.

You got the Soap Suds who, I think, have found that relative balance between Johnny being a destructive-as-all-hell force to be reckoned with and the quintessential golden retriever boyfriend. His VA doesn't make it any better apparently lmao.

You got the Ghost lovers who've pretty much diversified him so he can run the gamut of Daddy Dom Extraordinaire™, Babygurl™, Sassy Simon™, and the list is endless. What IS consistent is that someone parked a dump truck on that ass and he has some big ole titties. There's also the subset of people who REALLY, REALLY love Ghost but also think his VA is ugly (which he isn't) while simultaneously thinking that he (Ghost) is supposed to be David Gandy levels of immaculate despite being in active combat. Make it make sense.

There's the Gravediggers who, for the most part, acknowledge their love-hate relationship with Graves and I think that is both hilarious and endearing.

You have the Kult of Köthulhu, König's devoted followers who have allowed him to transcend his gremlin nature to become the long-lost progeny of Cthulhu. Move the fuck over, Cthylla. I kid but he, like Ghost, has also been diversified in terms of his portrayal. And no, he's not a part of 141. Some followers of His Gremliness are also embroiled in a forever war with Gaz Nation so please be safe out there, y'all.

You got the Valeria girlies who want her to sit on their faces. I don't blame them. Please do.

You have the Los Vaqueros crew who need more love shown to them and Pony by Ginuwine is their official theme song thanks to Alejandro Thee Stallion. The less said about the butchered Spanish I've read in some fics, the better.

There's also the Farah Fanatics who rightfully adore her and deserve their flowers just like the rest of the cliques.

There's the Keller Kollective who, I think, tends to intersect with the Farah Fanatics. This lot also deserves their flowers because Keller is a sub absolutely underrated as a character. You'd also be forgiven for thinking he and Price are elated.

You also got the Horangi Horde who, just like Gaz Nation, will RISE TF UP. I think. Hopefully. lmao

And then there's the self-righteous crew who, for whatever reason, seem to think they're above it all and love to police writers on what they write and how they write the characters (we're talking in terms of rather innocuous subjects in the grand scheme of things; the sus shit absolutely needs to be and should be called out). Interestingly enough, this group also seems to forget that they're in the same damn boat by being in the fandom, consuming, and writing about the same characters. The ones who have all the energy but none of the courage even if they say or think they do. Bonus points if they also move like fans. Double/Triple those points if they, too, also use butchered-ass AAVE to make their points. 🥴

The girlies who can't separate fiction from reality and insist on harassing the VAs and their significant others and families because how DARE they have a regular degular life outside of *checks notes* their job. Baby, it was never gonna be you. It will never. be. you.

did I get them all? lmao

[respectthepetty]

Hey there fellow Dangerous Romance enjoyer. Is it just me or has Sailom never talked about the umbrella connection? I need them to acknowledge it.

@nothingsbetterthancoffee (is your icon Love Class 2?!), calling me an "enjoyer" of Dangerous Romance is putting it very nicely.

It's my entire personality.

It's part of my holy trinity: I'm obsessed with Kiseki: Dear to Me, I'm creepy about Naughty Babe, and I've made Dangerous Romance an integral part of my identity.

But yeah, I enjoy it . . .

in a totally unhealthy way.

So I, too, want the show to make Kanghan see that the same boy he bullied and now is committed to doing the devil's tango with is the same boy who has always had the other half of his heart umbrella.

I wanted Sailom to shout it out during his confession.

Since the entire scene was a callback to that faithful umbrella exchange.

But then the umbrella was just left on the ground with my hopes and dreams!

So now I wait patiently for the breakdown in episode 11 where Kang makes a different kind of rain (of money),

Only for the umbrella to hopefully come in and rescue us all by allowing Kanghan to realize that Sailom has always been the wind beneath his windmill wings or whatever.

And it's by time he returned the favor!

Bring the umbrella back for the finale, Dangerous Romance. I want to see Kanghan Daddy cry again.

[theuniverseawakens347]

JESS HILARIOUS … N JESIKA ORTIZ… OR THAT PODCAST YOUTUBE GIRL WHO HAD HE EX ON DA SHOW TALKING BOUT HER CHARACTER N SHE TRY FIGHT BACK VERBALLY N DENY WHAT HE SEE IN HER… GOT ATE TF UP… YA WAN BE A HO SIMPLE THATS WHY HA ASK “ why is it okay for her to have all these men lovers and not me” Jess hilarious…yara like Halle ya put on innocent girl look to cover up the truth… YA LOVE GOD BUT HATE THAT IAM ACTUALLY A 30 YR OLD LIGHT SKIN WOMAN WHO LOOKS 16 AND LIVE EVERY RACE AND NOTHING AT ALL… GORGEOUS INSIDE AND OUT WITH BEING ARROGENT WEAR MY FLAWS WITHOUT HATE TO SOMEONE ELSE BUT YU TAKE IT THAT WAY CAUSE YOU PROJECT UR INSECURITIES ON TO ME.. WHY YA STRUGGLE W FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS WHO ARE CONFIDENT … IM A MONOGOMOUS WOMAN… HAD LEE NOT FUCKING BUTAINED MY BRAIN VIVICCA MUSCLE RELAXED IT WITH PSYCHMEDS N METH COCAINE MIXED IN IT WOULD BE LESS SCRAMBLED TO TELL YA WHAT IS GOING ON… MY BLOG BEFORE AUG 17th I JUST STEPPED INTO MY MEMORY OF BEING GOD ON EARTH… N VIVICCA IMMEDIATELY W LEE KILLED ME MENTALLY LIKE SHE DID MY WHOLE FEMALE AND ENLIGHTENED MALE TRIBES DADS N GRANPARENTS …. I WOULD HAVE MY HOLY TRINITY ME NIP AND TRI.. BUT MY PAST LIFE LOVERS FROM OTHER DIMENSIONS STEPPED IN TO HELP BC WE OVER SEEN WHAT LEE WAS GOING TO DO TO MY MENTAL.. GODS PLAN.. OVER SEE EVERYTHINGNAND HAVE A SOLUTION FOR SUCH THINGS.. YOURE SLEEPING W MULTPLE MEN OF NO … HOW DO I SAY TREVOR IS CHRIS AND CHRIS IS NIP AND NIPMIS ME … RUSSIAN DOLL NO INCEST JUST ME CLONE MYSELF W MAGIC SCARLET WITCH… CHASING LEE THRU ETHERS SATAN TO KILL OR MAKE SUBMIT BY UNDERSTANDING SHE CUD HAVE HAPPILY PARTOOK IN CREATION FOR ETERNITY BUTNHER AGENDA WAS TO OWN ME AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD N MAKE IT MISERABLE LIKE HER … BIBLE BUT NOT REALLY BUT YES.. THE FALLEN ANGEL SATAN LEE .. SO NO YOU WHO CHOOSE POISON WILLINGLY DO NOT HAVE A SOULMATE OR TWINFLAME… UR DOING INCEST W UR FAMILY COUSIN BROTHER OR EVEN CHILD.. MARCUS IS NOT UR CHILD YARA HES A CLONE OF ME THAT LEE USED TO BE PIMPED OUT SO ID BE DISGUSTED WITH MY MEN.. WHO ARE LITERALLY JUST ME … STARSEED.. ON EARTH BUT AS REGULAR HUMANS… MEN N BLACK .. ANYWAYS… YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX JUST TO HAVE SEX OR TO LITERALLY OWN MONEY “ I’m breaking generational curse and creating wealth” NO YOURE BEING PIMPED AND IT FITS UR MENTAL THINKING OF WHAT MONEY MEANS AND PPLMWHO HAVE IT .. AND HA DADDY MOM ISSUES WHO SPOILED YOU JESS HILARIOUS LALA MILAN .. WHO DISCIPLINED YOU AND TRIED TO SHOW YOU BETTER OPTIONS ON GETTING MONEY SETTING UPMA FUTURE WITHOUT SACRIFICNG YA HEART N SOUL… YA EYES ARE LIFE LESS … YA FACE GLOWS BC YOU HAVE NOOOOO SOUL… HOT SPOT HALLE YARA COI… YA CHEEK BONE HIGH LIGHER MY STEM CELLS OR YA DAMN NOSE.,. EYES ARE THE WINDOW TO THE SOUL… IF IM STILL LOOKING AT YA EYES FIRST AND SAYING THERE BUT WONDERING IT BC LIKE DDG YA ENERGY BEING SYPHONED OFF OF.. AND A SPIRITUAL PERSON // THOSE WHO READY TO PAY DOWN PEACFULLY INDYAMARIE JEAN YA GON SEE WHO THE PERP IN THE ROOM IS AND WHOS BEING USED AND HOW WHY WHERE IF RELATED TO YOUR STORY LINE. CHARLAMANGE YA MAD AT LEE N COI FOR RUINING MY REPUTION IN THE INDUSTRY AND TARNISHING MY MOM NAME LIKE DUMBASS LEFT EYE SNEAK DISSED HER… ALL YAL WHO DID SHIT TO MY MOM N GRANNY N PAPA AND AALYIHA YEAH YA LEFT TO ME FOR A REASON. THE LAST YOU SEE N SIT W BEFORE YOU DIE. SOME WANT ME TO GO AROUND YA FAMILY N PLAY GOD FOR YA WHY JESS HILARIOUS ORTIZ… NO. ILL GET THERE WHEN ITS RIGHT FOR ME. TIMING IS ON ME NOT YOU. THATS WHY YA IN TROUBLE CONTROL FREAKS. IF GOD WAS A CONTROL FREAK I WOULDNT HAVE SAID YES TO LETTING YOU TAKE CARE OF ME NOW YAL SEEING ON THIS EARTH WE LEAVE IT TO BIG MOMA AND THE ABOVE ETHERS CAUSE SHE KNOW MORE THAN US EVEN THO SHE BUTAINED .

[non-sequitura]

Arial

I’ve been feeling a weird kinship with Arial from “The Little Mermaid” lately. Never cared much for her growing up for three (shallow) main reasons:

1. She was dressed in a more revealing outfit

2. She was bubbly/outgoing and I didn’t relate to that

3. She had an unnatural hair color

But even once I overcame my (inherent? taught?) dislike for female characters in scant clothing, I was never a big princess person. They felt too optimistic to be aspirational. I liked Aurora the most, because she seemed more dreamy and reserved (visually the Gothic style of the film is still one of my favorites.) And Belle was alright, but felt too “not like other girls” to me. Perhaps other girls in my school being obsessed with the holy nerdette trinity—Belle, Hermione, and Annabeth Chase—also contributed.

But Arial has resonated with me lately. I think it’s because the problems she’s facing feel “real” and personal. Arial’s father destroys her things in a rage when facing the prospect of her falling in love with a human. What teenager wouldn’t be tempted by a highly successful manipulator in that situation?

And then I think about that line, “Daddy, I love him!” Pretty simple, but summarizes where a lot of the conflict in my life comes from at the moment. How can you want to stay with someone and remain an independent person living for your own goals? The nature of compromise makes it impossible. And then it’s you against a world still captured by bias, fear, and disgust. Blending in, and emotional awareness, have always been some of my better skills—I feel unequipped to be in a relationship which compromises any of my adaptability in polite society.

[fettuccin-e]

Steve Harrington Fic Recs

Hey gang, I am violently attracted to Steve Harrington holy shit. So! I have many fic recommendations for the masses. Please give all of these authors so much love, they deserve it!! (Also, if you’re one of these authors and you’d like to be removed from this list, please let me know!!!)

Count the Ways by @iliveiloveiwrite

>> You and Steve go to a party together, where you immediately get drunk. After what happened with Nancy, Steve is nervous, but you just use your drunken state to tell him everything you love about him. (this shit is cute as fuck please someone just tell steve that we love him so much he’s the best)

You Make it Easy by @upsidedownwithsteve

>> You fought your way through the Upside Down together, and now that you and Steve are back in the real world, you just need to be close to each other. Just friendship isn’t enough for either of you anymore (this fic has everything: angst, fluff, smut. the holy trinity, so to speak. this shit made me cry tears of pure joy i fucking love it so much)

Can We Always Be This Close? by @upsidedownwithsteve

>> You’ve been in love with your childhood best friend for years, but there’s no way Steve feels the same way, especially when he’s got a new girlfriend every other week, right? (PINING. SO. MUCH. PINING. I loved this absolutely beautiful work of art. This is a long one though, so get comfy before reading gang)

The Babysitters Club by @judeswhore

>> You and Steve babysit your tiny baby niece together, and Steve turns out to not only be good with 14 year olds, but babies as well. (Fluffy, fluffy, cuteness. Also the image of Joe Keery with a baby is giving me literal palpitations) 

Girls on Film by @thranduilsperkybutt 

>> You use Steve as your subject for a photography product, but you both soon get a little carried away with the camera. (Very smutty, very cute, I love)

The Story of Us by @scarlet-star-witch

>> The story of how Steve fell in love with you, and finally got the love he has always deserved in return. (So cute, made me tear up at just the sheer adoration conveyed through it. Gorgeous.)

Have You Seen Her? by @luveline

>> Steve falls in love with you, his next door neighbor. You find that it’s pretty easy to fall in love with him, too. (I am such a sucker for mutual pining bro, it’s becoming a problem)

With Someone To Escape by @indouloureux

>> You crash your car and can only think of one person to call. The only problem is that one person is Steve Harrington and you broke up with him a few weeks ago. (augustine my beloved you have destroyed me with angst to fluff to smut how am i supposed to be normal after this)

Uptown Girl by @theemporium

>> You love Steve, you really do. Even when you have to pick him up drunk and clingy and ridiculously in love Steve Harrington. (this is just so fucking cute bro i have butterflies)

Sweet Peach by @s-brant

>> Eddie started the joke, really, but you ran with it. What you don't know is that Steve is very very affected by the new nickname you've decided to give him. (damn my daddy kink runs embarassingly deep i was frothing at the mouth over this)

[pinkacademic]

Masculine and Non-Feminine Pink Academia

While this is a very "feminine" space, as someone who isn't always a girl (she/they btw!), I understand the struggle of being a non-girl and wanting to find your place among the girlies. Hopefully I have some useul ideas for you, ranging from non-feminine women, men, and nonbinary inspiration.

Characters

Non-Feminine Women - Cady Heron, Mean Girls. I know a character from the girly movies Holy Trinity seems like a weird start, but of course, Cady's journey is one if jumping in too far and losing her tomboyish nature. But, at the end, her style reflects the positive aspects of her journey by being a better-fitting and a little bit more trendy, but the outfit is still just a casual top and jeans which doesn't necessarily have a gendered association. And, of course, she's an iconic academic character as a mathlete.

-Connie Maheswaren, Steven Universe. Connie's style evolves from a pretty billowy dress to a cute button-up and shorts. Connie loves reading, studying, and swordfighting and has a style that can go between masculine and feminine.

-Spinelli, Recess. I'd say most people who know me know that I am the way I am because of the Ashleys, but Spinelli is good inspo too. She's only an academic in secret, but her over-sized t-shirt as a sort-of dress toes the line between gender presentation. It's dress-like, but probably also a hand-me-down from her older brother, and is shapeless enough for the androynous=shapeless trend.

- Elizabeth Bennet, Pride and Prejudice. Even as a fancy lady in the regency era, she's still more likely to be found on romps in the mud, even if that'd be 'most unladylike.' Personally, if I were in charge of a modern interpretation, I think she'd be a dungarees/overalls kind of girl. One of my favourite interpretations is in The Lizzie Bennet Diaries where she's a tech intern.

Men - Nick Young, Crazy Rich Asians. I love a man passionate about his culture, preserving history, and snazzy dressing. Since he's richer than God,he does dress like Daddy's Little Rich Boy, but it's a classic look for a reason.

- Todd Anderson, Dead Poets Society. SO, DPS is a stable of Dark Academia, but I'm borrowing Todd for the Pink girlies because he felt overlooked for most of his life, and then discovered his romantic, poetic side. It feels like a very Pink theme to me.

-Ryan Evans, High School Musical. Ryan and Sharpay had their style game at maximum for all three movies, and Ryan truly is a bright pink-wearing king who co-ordinated down to a hat- the only person who can get away with a fedora, except, like, Perry the Platypus.

Nonbinary Characters - Frankie Stein, Monster High. The new version of Frankie now uses they/them pronouns! Their presentation in the new movie seems to go between feminine and androgynous, and their style is like school uniform punk- related, I think Frankie would totally have the Vivienne Westwood pin.

-Aziraphale and Crowley, Good Omens. In the Good Omens 'verse, angels and demons don't actually have gender, and Aziraphale and Crowley's looks are jut personal to them. Aziraphale has a flamboyant, cream-toned masculine vibe, while Crowley's dark wardrobe changes gender presentation with him. They embody the abolish gender vs make more dynamic.

- Cal, Sex Education. I'm totally late to the Sex Education party, so I don't know much about them, but it is so exciting to see what looks like good rep in a high school setting, because I wish I'd had more of that when I was in school!

Fashion and Presensation

So, the classic PA sillhouette is, of course, the shirt under a jumper, a pink plaid skirt, tights or stockings, pink high heels, and decorate with pearls. Let's see what we can do to make this less stereotypically feminine.

- Plaid trousers/pants exist and are wonderful. An easy find is always a plaid or similar-patterned paperbag trousers- which I think can be used to alter your shape at the hips, if you want to do that. - Longer or more kilt-style skirts tend to have a more gender-neutral or masculine association compared to their shorter counterparts. - Secret trousers!! These are my favourite thing- a pair of trousers/pants that look like a skirt when standing still feels like the best of both worlds to me. -As mentionned with Spinelli, an oversized t-shirt or shirt worn like a dress can create a shapeless, androgynous sillhouette if so disired, or be cynched in with a belt to add another dimension to an outfit.

I hope this has given you some inspiration to work with, and if anyone has any other ideas, please let me know!

[talesofstyles]

Drs Styles

paediatric heart surgeon harry, husband harry and dad harry. honestly the holy trinity.

warning: they did it in the car. bloody animals.

Harry

“Move your car, please!”

“What are you going to do? Write me a ticket?”

“This is in the interests of safety for the children!”

I look at the time in the car. I’ve still got about twenty to twenty-five minutes to watch this drama unfold at the school gate. I just wish we had popcorn because drop-off and parking situations at the school gates are always more entertaining than Good Morning Britain. 

The school gate is a strange social scene, and honestly, I don’t blame my wife for trying to avoid it like a plague. Sometimes, you don’t even have to talk to these people to know everything about their lives and more. I swear there are more gossips in the class WhatsApp group and daily playground chattering than in the copies of The Sun and Daily Mail combined. You know who’s married, who’s getting a divorce, whose husband shagged the au pair again, whose party you haven’t been invited to, even who’s looking for a builder. 

I see the school caretaker chuckling to himself as he sweeps the autumn leaves off the pathway, no doubt also enjoying our morning entertainment. 

“Why is Mrs Chambers screaming like that?” Alma, our eldest daughter, asks from the back of the car. 

“Because that man parks his car in a drop-off zone,” I reply, still watching him as he removes a child from his car seat. “Do you know who that is?”

“I think the boy is your classmate,” Alma turns to her sister.

Fiona, our youngest, peers over to inspect. “Oh yeah, that’s Rufus and his dad.”

“Do we like Rufus?”

“Not unless we like boys who pee down the slides,” Fiona scrunches her nose up. “He stood at the top and peed down like a waterfall. I haven’t gone down the slide ever since.”

I shake my head and let out a chuckle. “M’sure they’ve cleaned it up since, button.” 

Did you know that choosing a school for your child after nursery can be a head-throbbing, stomach-twisting, heart-pounding experience? Well, it can. How is one supposed to choose a school anyway? According to the proximity? Leavers Results? Adorable uniforms? Parents’ agendas?

After many, many discussions and visits through more schools than I can count, we ended up with Thomas’s Kensington. It’s a great school, and only ten minutes away from our home, making school runs easier. The downside of this school is the fact that it costs us an arm and a leg and that they’re always trying to rip us off any chance they get. Also, they only take the kids until 11, so after that, we’ll have to look for other schools again. But since our girls are only seven and five, we can worry about that later. 

There’s a strange mix of parents at this place. I went to school up in the North and the school gate scene is nothing like this. Here there are more au pairs, fancy cars, nicer clothes and people coming with impressive tans from their last weekend break in Antibes. The kids here are suited up too: the PE kit is the size of a small weekender bag, and we put them in uniforms that make them look smart, hoping that will increase the size of their brains. A child walks past our car with a cello case, another with a hockey stick. It’s a different land here. One that my socialist in-laws constantly tease us about and one which my mum was hysterical about because she was scared her grandbabies would be little Tories. I promised her I’d keep them grounded by only giving them plain hobnobs. None of those luxury chocolate covered ones.

Jokes aside, my girls are happy here. They’re thriving. They learn French and Spanish and Mandarin, even if they share a class with kids who have ridiculous names like Kitty and Archibald. 

A knock at my window calls me to attention. I wind it down.

“Are you Fiona’s dad?” A mum asks me.

“I am.”

“It’s about Ophelia’s riding party this Saturday at the riding stables.” 

Like I said, it’s a different land here.

“I thought we RSVPed to that?” I look at her in confusion.

“Yes, you did, but we have to change the food options as one of the partygoers is allergic to nuts. I’m making everyone aware and we need to let the guests know that they can’t bring any nuts on the day.”

A dirty joke is right there on the tip of my tongue and I’m trying my hardest to keep it in. My wife would definitely find it funny though, I’ve got to remember this and tell her later. 

“Noted,” I mean, I wasn’t going to send my daughter to a party with a packet of cashews anyway but I nod politely.

“And just gift vouchers for gifts please. Smiggle, if you can.”

Again, I nod, biting my tongue at the presumptuousness. But then I suddenly panic, because we haven’t entered the realms of pony riding just yet. Do I have to buy jods and boots? If I don’t, will my daughter be the odd one out? But Ophelia’s mum saunters off before I’ve got the chance to ask.

“Do I have to go to that party, daddy?” Fiona asks. 

“Well, we’ve already replied, poppet,” I tell her. “Did you not want to go?”

“I’ll go if I have to.”

I don’t answer because I get distracted by a vacant space. I edge the car forward so my girls can hop off. 

“I love you both. Have a good day, make good choices.” 

“Bye daddy! We’ll see you after work!”

***

Evelina London Children’s Hospital is our second home. Of course, as a children’s hospital, we try to make the place as fun as possible as not to freak those little patients out at being ill. It is bright and primary coloured, and each ward is decorated according to its own theme with different colours and lovely artworks. There are televisions and toys almost in every corner. We have a giant slide on the ground floor, and even the bins are shaped like red London buses. The aim was to help the children to forget that they’re in a hospital and take their minds off their sickness.

Since my wife and I are in the same department, our offices are next to each other, both overlooking the Thames. It’s nice up here. Would’ve been nicer if we could sneak in a quickie, but that’s practically impossible with our shared secretary’s desk sitting literally in front of our doors. 

Speak of the devil.

“Good morning. Here’s your tea,” my secretary follows me into my office with a cup of tea and a tiny plate with a couple of rich tea fingers. “Clinic until 3 pm, scheduled PDA ligation in the laboratory for 4 pm and then evening rounds on the wards.”

“Mornin’ Rhonda, you look lovely today,” I greet her cheerily. She’s a stern-looking woman who definitely likes her tea as strong as tits and who has probably never cried in her life. With such severity, she runs a tight ship, but she secretly has this affectionate side in her too. Not only is she a great secretary, but she also takes care of us in a way as a grandma does. She makes us tea, feeds us in between surgeries with biscuits or nice baby cheeses and crackers just so we wouldn’t starve. 

See that sofa over there in the corner of my office? Rhonda got me that. It was around the time when I had just become a new father with the sweetest, most gorgeous little baby who did not sleep. Alma wasn’t a fussy baby though. For some reason, she just wouldn’t go back to sleep after her midnight feed for months. Believe me, I tried everything. I changed her nappy, I swayed and jiggled and rocked and sung her to sleep. Odd nonsensical songs like, ‘Alma darling go to sleeep. Sleepy sleep sleep. Pleeeeease. I’m so tirrrred. My eyeballs may actually exploooode. I don’t want you to see thaaat.’ And she would just look at me all wide-eyed like I’d lost the plot. Those were song lyrics? That was rubbish. Please don’t give up your day job. Also, it’s not sleeping time. I’m awake. I’m ready for life. Come on, entertain me, old man. Isn’t this nice, just you and me? Tell me everything you know. EVERYTHING. 

Except of course she didn’t say all that. She would just stare at me and I had no idea what was going on in her little head. 

I took over my wife’s patients at the hospital during her maternity leave, so I had longer hours at the hospital. One day Rhonda found me napping on the floor between surgeries, so she sweet-talked some porters into looking for any old sofas on the go and paid to have this one reupholstered. She even bought me a fleece throw for it too. We really don’t deserve her.

“You hittin’ on me?” She deadpans. “Yer wife not doing it for you these days?”

“It’s the blazer. I’m a sucker for a blazer.”

“If I’d known, I would’ve worn it more often,” she replies. “Did my nice dress yesterday not give you the fanny flutters?”

“It’s schlong shiver for me,” I roar with laughter. “And it’s the tartan, makes you look well old.”

“YN, yer husband’s a bloody git, did I ever tell you that?” Rhonda says loud enough for my wife to hear, and I can hear my wife’s laughter from her office next door. “Drink your tea. Your first clinic appointment is in twenty.”

“Yes ma’am,” I salute her. 

***

The Arctic ward in the Evelina is home to many of our imaging, heart and kidney services. The name is probably giving it away, but everything is decorated in blue and white to go with the theme. We have several zones, and since paediatric cardiology clinics are held in the Walrus zone, I spend a great deal of time each day looking at walrus and snowflake decals. 

“Doctor Styles!” I hear a little voice shouts in excitement as I walk towards the waiting room in the outpatient ward. I smile, because I recognise that voice even before I see the little person.

The waiting room is very open here compared to other hospitals. There’s a sea of noise, snacks, tiny juice boxes and colouring pages. There’s also always a look of expectation, judgement on the faces of parents and guardians every time I walk in. They want to see if their doctor is old or qualified enough to see their children. There’s always one child who has the whole gang with them; parents, two sets of grandparents and even several aunts and uncles, and there’s also at least one child running around in circles out of boredom. 

This little lad bounces off his chair and hurls himself at me in a way like a little puppy would when its owner comes home from work. I put an arm out, hoping that he’ll apply the brakes but no such luck and he bundles himself into my arms. “Nice to see you, mate.”

His parents smile as they watch their son’s antics, who then runs off as I shake their hands. I turn around to see what caught his attention, and I can’t help but chuckle when I realise it’s my wife. 

“Doctor pretty Styles!” He exclaims excitedly as he bundles himself into her arms. She gets a mouthful of curls in the process. 

“Hi Rory,” she greets him as she runs her fingers through his curly mop. 

“Oi,” I pout as I walk towards them. “You don’t think I’m pretty?”

“Your wife is prettier,” he says with a shrug, his tone matter-of-fact.

She laughs and gives him a high-five. “Rory, you are officially my favourite patient.”

She is right. Rory is one of our special patients for sure. We’ve both known him for about six years now, ever since Rory’s mum gave birth to this tiny human next door at St Thomas and his heart was literally broken. I remember watching proudly from the theatre when my wife replaced two of his valves when he was born. It was in our early years of training. Long time patients like Rory almost always feel like family. We’ve seen all their parents’ tears and watched over their children throughout the years. They send us cards and wine every Christmas and despite all attempts to keep a professional distance, their kids do feel like our own.

Rory shrugs off his dinosaur rucksack and unzips it, pulling out a drawing of a blue whale and an opened packet of KitKat. I like that the whale wears a top hat and appears to also don a moustache. 

“I drew you both a picture. Only one though, because I figure you can share,” he says with a big toothy grin and hands the packet of KitKat to my wife. “And I’ve got half a KitKat here. Do you want it?”

“I’m good for now. Keep that KitKat for later on the tube,” she smiles and waves at Rory as she begins to walk away towards the fetal cardiology ward just down the hall. “Bye Rory, thanks for the picture.”

“Bye doctor pretty Styles,” Rory replies, making my wife laugh as she walks away. I give her a wave and a wink. 

“Hey Rory, did you know a blue whale has a heart the size of a small car?” I ask him and his eyes widen.

“No way! That’s mega!” He exclaims. “Do you think you could operate on a whale heart?”

“I would need a very big ladder,” I tell him. “And a wetsuit. I’d give it a go though.”

A senior nurse from the outpatient ward, Florence approaches us with a junior nurse trailing behind her. “Dr Styles, always a pleasure.”

I smile at her. “Florence. How are we today?”

“Busy as usual,” she replies. “We’re about twenty minutes behind I’m afraid. We had Dr Goodridge in this morning and you know he likes to talk.”

“He always runs over,” I chuckle. “Well, don’t worry. I’ll skip lunch and get us back up to speed.”

“I’ll make sure to send some snacks for you. Here’s your chart, your files are already in your office. And this is Alice, your nurse today. She’s newly qualified so might need some instructions.”

The new nurse looks terrified so I smile at her to try and calm her fears. I totally get that. When you work in medicine, unfortunately, you’ll realise that there are a lot of rude self-important wankers. 

I look down at my chart and find Rory’s name on the top of the list. “Well, look who’s coming with me to the exam room.”

Rory reaches out to hold my hand and we walk towards the examination room. His parents follow us closely, carrying the usual coats and devices that people do when they know they’re bound for a hospital waiting room. I see them inside and sit behind the desk.

“So, young man, I hear we’ve had a touch of drama with you. Can you tell me what happened?”

I’ve actually already got the information in the file, but I like the way this kid tells a story. He reminds me of my youngest. 

“So… I was at school and we were doing PE and I wasn’t really feeling it because it was cold and really we should have been inside but Mr Witter makes us go outside because he used to be in the Army apparently and he says we should get used to the cold but that’s what they do in prisons.”

I smile. “Go on.”

“And then my heart started running.”

“You mean racing?”

He nods firmly. Racing isn’t even the word. It sprinted to the finish like Bolt at 252 beats per minute, three times the speed it should.

“It felt like bubbles in my chest and then the school went crazy panicky and they called the ambulance and they brought me to the hospital but not this one, it was another one and it wasn’t as good because you weren’t there and they had really bad biscuit.”

His mum adds. “And they gave him some drugs to bring it back to a steady rhythm; they were close to shocking him.” Her voice trails off and both parents’ faces look drawn and pale remembering the incident.

Rory looks absolutely unbothered by this. To be fair, we have put this little man through everything. We’ve cut his chest open more times than is necessary for someone so small, we hook him up to machines and put him on treadmills. His resilience and character amaze me, and I really can’t imagine what it feels like to see your child so vulnerable and helpless, to be paralysed and weighed down with such worry.

“Alright then, little man, we need to make sure that your heart is working as it should. This is Alice, and she is going to take you over for an ECG and we just need to make sure your tick-tock is in good shape.”

Rory nods and jumps off the chair. His dad offers him a piggyback, and his mum smiles at them. I can hear Rory offering that half KitKat to Alice as they leave the room. 

His mother turns to me as the door is closed, her shoulders relaxing, allowing herself to breathe. “And how are you?” I ask her.

“You just think it’s done and then something like that comes along to scare you,” she says with a sigh.

“Let’s have these tests and then see if it’s anything major to worry about,” I try to calm her. “Episodes of rapid heartbeat is quite common in Rory’s case, and we can look into drugs to remedy that if necessary.”

She smiles, nodding.

“Did you have any other questions for me?”

She studies my face for a moment too long. “I… well, it will show up in Rory’s records soon, but my husband I are… I mean we’re getting a divorce.”

I pause for a moment. Of course, I know these things happen in life, but I’ve known this couple for years. I’ve seen them at their lowest ebb, bound by friendship and their love for that boy. I really do feel sorry for them.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“We just… we’re terrified about telling Rory.”

“He doesn’t know?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “We’re scared of breaking him. I mean, look at him. All of this stuff he’s been through and he carries on like nothing has happened. We don’t want to upset him.”

“It took a team of us the best part of six years to build Rory’s heart. There's a warranty on that workmanship,” I reassure her. “Have that chat with him. He’ll be fine.”

***

“Have we got time for dinner first?” I turn to my wife as we walk out of the hospital. We don’t normally have the luxury of ending our shift at the same time, but today is exceptional. We have parents’ evening at the girls’ school so Rhonda made sure to clear up our schedule after our evening rounds at the ward. 

“No, but we can raid M&S and eat in the car?”

I’m starving and I almost cry with relief at the suggestion. “Always knew I married the right woman.”

She chuckles. “Damn right you did.”

We leave the car at the hospital and she drags me along the walkways to Waterloo, the breeze biting at our cheeks. I pull her into M&S, dodging the marching commuters and grab a basket. 

“I’ll look for some wine,” she says before she saunters off. “Oh and I want sushi. None of that crap with the mayonnaise please.”

“Alright.”

I skipped lunch today so the whole place calls to me. I start taking very random things off the shelves: a packet of raspberry iced buns. That’ll do. I also take some hummus for my wife because she bloody loves hummus. I’m not even joking, I’ve seen her down a whole pot of it. Then I take some sushi as requested, some coleslaw, a family bag of mature cheddar and red onion crisps and a trifle. I hope I don’t bump into Rhonda. Next are cheese twists, noodle salad and cocktail sausages. 

It takes me a while to notice that there is a man right next to me with a roll of yellow stickers in their back pocket. Hello there, you are one of my favourite people tonight. Have I managed to find that sacred hour when all the food is being marked down? He labels some prawns with dip and even though I get a little squeamish about eating fish near its expiry date, I put it in my basket. I then follow him around the corner. Now, this is dinner. I put all sorts of random food in my basket and smile at the thought.

Ooh, knockdown pizzas. I should get a pizza. That’s tomorrow’s tea sorted, the girls will love it. Although I can’t help but wonder, what’s the limit for us to feed our daughters frozen pizza in a week before they get taken away from us? But eh, we might be able to get away with it if we give them frozen peas on the side. 

“Look at you,” says my wife, depositing two bottles of red in the basket. 

“Yes, it’s me. I’m the yellow sticker bitch.”

She snickers as we turn to head for the tills. “Excellent work.”

***

“Mr and Mrs Styles, welcome.”

“Mrs Ebner, always a pleasure,” I shake the headmistress’ hand who’s standing at the door. 

“Busy evening?” My wife asks her as she shakes her hand next.

“Always,” the headmistress replies with a smile, then proceeds to speak like she’s reading out of brochures. “But such a wonderful opportunity to connect with our parents and build on the special relationships we have with our school community.” 

Two uniformed minions appear.

“Lewis, Maggie, could you please show Mr and Mrs Styles through to the drinks reception?”

They both nod in unison. The boy holds his arms out like a waiter showing us to our table. We follow them through the school’s grand corridors to the main hall. It’s the one thing I like about this place. It’s very Hogwarts-like with hefty engraved name boards and sepia photos of successful sports teams. In the hall, a throng of parents mill around waiting to see respective teachers. It’s the same every year. We all dodge the people from the PTA trying to sell us quiz tickets, and the bowls of crisps out of hygiene concerns.

“Red or white?” Asks a lady in an apron.

This right here is the very reason we get through parents’ evening. From the look of the bottle, it’s decent wine too. I think that’s where a good proportion of our fees is going. 

“Red, please.”

We both take our glasses and walk to the corner of the hall. It’s essentially a holding area without the background music. The idea is that all the parents will get on and create a party vibe but it just becomes a strange family gathering. As terrible as it sounds, it’s sorted into cliques: parents who know each other via NCT groups, the international expat brigades who keep to themselves, the parents who’ve ostracised themselves by gossip, the ones who you know regularly brunch and ski together.

The boy from earlier suddenly appears in front of us. “Mrs Hughes is ready for you.”

I put my hand on the small of my wife’s back as we walk towards the classroom. Fiona’s teacher first and then Alma’s straight after. Right, we can do this.

“Mrs Hughes, we meet again,” I shake her hand. I’ve got no qualms about Mrs Hughes. She’s a seasoned teacher who likes a slack and sensible moccasin and we’re familiar with her since she taught Alma two years previously. When we enter the classroom, Lewis bows in reverence, taking his leave and I wonder whether to tip him. 

“It’s always lovely to have another Styles girl in my classroom. Fiona is a particular delight.”

My wife and I smile proudly. I’m sure Mrs Hughes says this to every parent here about their child, but that’s always nice to hear. 

“She talks a lot about you,” my wife says. “She seems to have settled in well.”

Mrs Hughes opens up a couple of books and it’s classic Fiona. Alma is ordered and neat—if she makes a mistake then she erases it completely and she underlines things with a ruler and listens to instruction carefully. She gets that from her mum. Fiona though, on the other hand, she’s all me. She has more wild abandon about her; no rulers, no rubbers. She puts giant crosses through things that don’t work and likes her bubble writing decorated with doodles of many, many cats.

I glance around the classroom as Mrs Hughes talks to us about standardised scores. The theme of the school is to show you how smart and educated these children are. Look at the copperplate handwriting, their reproductions of Van Gogh and our languages corner where they’ve all had a go at telling us what they like in French. I spy a contribution from my girl. J’adore les chats et le gâteau au chocolat. 

I’ve lost track of the conversation so I try to catch up.

“So to push Fiona into those top scores, perhaps we can look into tutoring? For maths, in particular, so she can grasp some of the concepts a little more tightly,” says Mrs Hughes. 

My wife and I look at each other confused. “Uh, I don’t think there’s a need, right? She’s only five.”

“It’s never too early,” replies Mrs Hughes. “We run an after-school tutoring club on Tuesdays that would help.”

Back when I was a youngster, clubs were fun endeavours that involved matching baseballs caps or were a chocolate biscuit that you had in your lunchbox. Maths tutoring session was not a club.

I ask her. “Is it free?”

“It’s fifteen pounds per session.”

See? My point being this should be a parents’ evening, not a sales session.

“Well, then it’s something to think about,” says my wife. “It could be that Fiona catches up with people throughout the year.”

“Possibly,” Mrs Hughes nods. Still, though, she proceeds to go into her folder and passes me a form. Sneaky. “Fiona has also shown great interest in languages and art. Her pictures have been a joy.”

Mrs Hughes goes to a file and pulls one of Fiona’s drawings. I glance down at it. It’s a standard child piece of art. The grass and sky are strips of colour to the top and bottom. It’s a family portrait, and we are as tall as the broccoli style trees. Wait, hang on a second. I count the number of people in the picture again. Is that-

“And Mrs Styles, I gather congratulations are in order,” she says with a smile. “Such lovely news.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Fiona told me it’s a boy,” she adds, and the sheer terror on my wife’s face at the realisation is priceless. “You must be very thrilled.”

I study the picture. There’s a house in the middle, and standing in a line in front of the house is our family. The one slightly taller than the broccoli tree is me. I’ve got my white lab coat, and I look like a serial killer because I’m holding a scalpel with the size of a butcher’s knife. Next to me is my wife, also with a white lab coat, but instead of a scalpel, she’s holding a very chunky baby who rather looks like a basketball with a head.

“Oh dear,” I chuckle. “Guess now we know what she’ll ask for Christmas.”

“Yeah,” my wife shakes her head. “We’re not expecting.”

“Oh, I apologise,” Mrs Hughes says with a sheepish smile.

“No worries, Mrs Hughes,” I tell her. “So, what else has our girl been up to here? Besides gossiping of course.”

Mrs Hughes laughs under her breath. “Well, in class, Fiona is attentive, bright and very helpful. She is a credit to you both.”

***

“I swear your daughter, Styles.”

We’re sitting in the car now. Finally done with parents’ evening, still laughing at the slightly creepy, chunky basketball baby in Fiona’s picture and the fact that three people, including Mrs Hughes, have congratulated us for the ‘baby’.

“You haven’t called me Styles in years,“ I turn to her with a grin. “Not since medical school.”

I can’t help but flashback to the good ol’ days when we had matching university hoodies and we’d test each other on the parts of a kidney whilst walking into lectures, sitting next to each other, sharing pens and cans of Lilt. 

“Well, after that I became a Styles too,” she chuckles. “Would be confusing then, wouldn’t it?”

“True,” I laugh under my breath, then I grab her hand and pull it to my mouth so I can kiss her knuckles. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being a Styles.”

“Aw, aren’t we soppy tonight?” She smirks. “Alright, stop the car.”

“What?”

“There,” she points to a dark empty spot and I oblige. 

Then, before I can even ask her why, she reaches over and grabs me by the collar. Pulling me close to her and gives me a kiss. I kiss her back, and I smile when she bites gently on my bottom lip.

“Oi, oi. Something’s got you randy.”

The next thing I know, she undoes her seatbelt and then rolls her trousers down her legs along with her knickers, fumbling and giggling at the awkward movement. I push my seat back and pull my trousers down. 

“Don’t fall on gearstick now,” I joke as she climbs over to straddle me. “Well, unless you want to, of course…”

She laughs as she lowers herself over my lap. I really can’t believe what’s happening here.

“Mrs Styles, we’re about to have sex in a car. Around the corner from our daughters’ school.” 

“I know,” she says with a smile before she runs her tongue along my neck. “Not our first rodeo though.”

“Oh right, we did it in our Volvo years ago, didn’t we? Thought the suspension couldn’t take it.”

“And it turned out fine. Told you that you needed to have more faith in the Swedes, they’re a reliable breed.”

“I love it when you talk about Sweden.”

“Ikea.”

“Fuck.”

“Meatballs.”

“Billy Bookcase.”

She throws her head back in laughter and I take this as an opportunity to run my tongue along her collar bone. She gasps. I reach down to lift her before I slowly lower her over my cock. We both sigh as I enter her, a long exhalation with our lips barely touching. 

“Viggo Mortensen.”

“Isn’t he Danish?”

“Tomato, Tomahto.”

I smile at my wife and push my hips up, silently telling her that we don’t need to talk about Swedish people anymore. She grabs onto the car seat and levers herself up and down. I look at her in the eye, a goofy smile still plastered across my face.

But then I squint. Light. Bollocks, what’s that? Where’s that light coming from? Crap, that’s bright. Shit. I see the flash of a hi-vis jacket, a knock at the window and someone shaking their head.

Oh sodding fucking bollocking shit wank.

[ryansjane]

axelle judges non bl shows > The Player

summary: A group of rich and influential people get tangled into a murder mystery that might cost them their reputation.

where to watch: youtube

grade: 7,5/10

pros:

- this is definitely an entertaining show. the mystery is there, and you wanna follow along for the ride very easily. I frankly never got bored in front of it, and patiently awaited new episodes to have more answers.

- the locations, color-grading and outfits were really great. still living for giwi’s colorful but luxurious-looking wardrobe. you can tell quite a bit of thought went into the show & its visual elements were really great.

- the cast has practically all of my faves so for that reason alone it’s a must-watch show to me!

cons:

- the ending was quite disappointing imo, nothing that I wanted to see happen, happened...

- the characters aren’t the most lovable in my opinion. let me compare with 2 other gmmtv shows with ensemble casts and sort of “messy” storylines like this one, that form a sort of gmmtv holy trinity of mess imo with the player. friend zone is a good example bc it has the same director, and in its season 1, while watching all the drama unfold is definitely fun, it’s hard to feel attached to these characters bc we don’t know much about them & the show definitely is more drama-focused than personality-focused. however, in season 2, I personally felt much more attached to the characters bc there was character development, not only since the first season, but also all throughout the sequel. the third show, ps: I hate you, though, manages imo to have compelling characters from the get-go, bc while they’re all extremely flawed, we’re also allowed to see their pain since the beginning, and the character development already seems to be there in the first few episodes. ALL OF THAT TO SAY, that the player doesn’t really do that?? most characters end up exactly where they started, or imo in a worse, less interesting place. it was hard to care for eve, bc she was presented as perfect & then SHOWN as perfect during the show. tim went from fuckboy with daddy issues to goody two-shoes out of literal thin air & I’m sorry to say he became boring. tin was cute but boring af. the only interesting characters were giwi, chimon’s character, mims, and drake’s character. and even then, apart for chimon & drake, I didn’t really care if they lived or died. pitch was interesting in his own rights but again, he had very little development. therefore, the meat of the show, the characters, felt actually pretty empty & imo failed to leave a long-lasting impact on its viewers.

- the ships were so fucking boring, man. tim & eve are literally one of the worst ships I’ve seen in a while, which sucks bc I love both jane & joss. tin & mims were a bit more interesting but still sooooooo fucking unhealthy & boring most of the time. pitch & matt definitely were interesting, but them ending up together after all was fucking terrible lol. overall for me this show promised 3 things: a messy entertaining storyline, a character-focused story & ships. it only delivered on one of these things.

would I rewatch it: I mean if the occasion calls for it, yes, but in general, no.

Overall this is still a show I would recommend because it is definitely fun to watch even though the ending was disappointing. Definitely not at the top of my list of the best thai dramas though.

[alwritey-aphrodite]

Okay I here you on the fmk, but have you done the lab partner, trainer at McDonald’s, stuck in an elevator with game? Cause fmk, usually you want to fuck and marry everyone, yk? But you come out of lab partner, McDonalds, elevator a new person. You learn things about yourself.

So, without further ado, Poe, Santi, Leto. The holy trinity.

Ok, this took me a while to think about (probably too long if we’re being honest)

Lab Partner: the one and only Poe MF Dameron. Listen… I’m autistic, he’s autistic, it would be great. Because in high school science, during labs, I would always get super overwhelmed but I think Poe would be great to have as a lab partner

Trainer at McDonald’s: I’m going to have to go with Santi, because I feel like he’s a leader, ya know? He’d be good with giving clear directions and keeping calm under pressure, which is important in the service industry. And just imagine him in that stupid polo and visor combo, it’s perfection.

Stuck in an Elevator With: last but not least, daddy duke Leto. I’d would love to be stuck in an inclosed space with him for an unknown amount of time. He’d be comforting in a high stress situation, and would have plenty ideas of how to pass the time 😏😏

[buckyownsmylife]

fic recs #3

I’ve decided to start creating some fic recs list, mostly because I am too always in search of good fics to read in my constant thirst for whatever it is I’m in need at the moment. I hope this will come in handy to at least one of y’all. Do not get it confused with my fic compilations, those will also be made, but it’ll just be reference lists to specific characters and/or kinks and aus.

drive, by @afeb - for when you’re feeling restless and feel like driving around and fucking might do you some good 😉. My favorite part is the little conversation they have about reader not being... “organised” down there and Chris assuring her that he doesn’t care. We stan realistic portrays of relationships and bodies in this household. (Chris Evans x Reader smut)

bratty, by @afriendlyblackhottie​ - for when you wanna be reminded of your worth and how no man is worth undermining yourself for. That being said, my favorite part is the smut, because 🥵🥵🥵🥵 (Chris Evans x Reader smut)

oh no, that’s bad, by @andyl394 - for when you want something quick (it’s a social media au) and funny to read. My favorite part is the entire dynamic between the reader and Bucky, like Andy (who’s also a Brazilian!) describes, they’re so, so dumb (Bucky Barnes x Reader fluff)

kal’s best friend, by @angrythingstarlight - for when you need fluff so sweet it’ll make your teeth rot. My favorite part about this is how Kal is the main character, I just love him so much. (Henry Cavill x Reader fluff)

fwb, by @awhitewolfandhisvibraniumshield - for when you want to live your best life and be desired by the holy trinity of hollywood men. This is pretty much the reason why I read fanfiction to start with. My favorite part is the surprisingly angsty (but not really in a sad way, I can’t really explain it) plot twist of an ending, but I loved it all so much. (Chris Evans x Reader x Sebastian Stan x Henry Cavill smut)

prometheus, by @gotnofucks - like I said earlier today, for when you’re in a submissive mindset and in need of some punishment from dom!August. My favorite part is the bowl, you won’t get it if you don’t read it and I mean... you should read it. (August Walker x Reader smut)

diner dinner dates, by @harold231​ - for when you just want some sweet, sweet fluff featuring a platonic relationship with Bucky. My favorite part is the background given of the relationships between reader and her late husband Steve, and Bucky and his late wife. (Bucky Barnes x Reader fluff)

talented tongue, by @ladyreapermc (who’s also Brazilian!!!) - for when you’re in the mood to read about oral smut, I know you have those because I do too, don’t lie to me. My favorite thing about it is the writing, Liv has these sentences that are just poetic in nature and it just makes me wanna scream (Henry Cavill x Reader smut)

undivided attention, by @navegandoaciegas - for when you want to dominate a whiny, needy Bucky. My favorite part is the awakening it brought me of a different part of my personality I was completely unaware of. (Bucky Barnes x Reader smut) 

only god forgives, by @river-soul - for when you want some delicious dark!professor!Andy that just takes what he wants (and what he wants is you). My favorite part is just how realistic the hesitation from the reader was written, it just reads like something I would actually do, and so it made the reading experience even more special to me. (Andy Barber x reader smut)

daddy’s a superhero, by @rocketrhap3000​ - for when you’re in a fluffy mood and you want to give Chris Evans the life that he deserves, you know what I mean? My favorite part was getting to see the routine of this little family, it was just so sweet and a joy to read. (Chris Evans x Reader fluff)

tease me, by @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog - for when you’re feeling like a tease and want to touch yourself in front of your man. My favorite is part is when you find out why exactly reader was so mad at Bucky. (Bucky Barnes x reader smut)

don’t over do it, by @whisperlullaby - for when you’re feeling soft and need a supportive bucky to protect you from some assholeness. My favorite part is just how protective he is, how he noticed the little things. You can see that he really cares about the reader, and sometimes you just need that vibe in your life. (Bucky Barnes x reader fluff)

Don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment for these talented writers! 

[messymormonmission]

Jesus, the Ouija Facetime, probably part 1

So this post ended up being about Jesus, and why I have a hard time with him. So if that bugs, feel free to skip.

Also, in some of my posts I have a backtalking TMB (in parenthesis) because it's helpful for me to call out the voice in my head argues the other side sometimes. If you want to read a really good book that uses this tactic, Nation by Terry Pratchett, that's maybe a future post.

ANYWAY

I watched my wife's sacrament meeting on Zoom yesterday because one of my kids was in a musical number (which, I can say, is actually not a bad way to go if you want to participate but don't want all the stress that comes with being present. You can sit and play a video game while you listen).

A guy gave a talk about Luke 2. He's someone I know and have hung out with outside of church, gives to his community (even outside of church), good dad, etc. Almost a friend, I guess, if we weren't both older and had kids and little leisure time and having friends in this lifestage wasn't a herculean task. At the end of his talk he encouraged all the young men to plan on a mission, to share the Lord's message.

I haven't been active for about 5 years. I'd forgotten that that's the reason some people go. By all means, if you're Mormon, and you believe in Jesus, and you're good with the Mormon version of Jesus, going on a mission could be a good idea. There is a doctrinal backing for believing Jesus in Mormonism. (That's the whole point, genius, it's the church of Jesus Christ after all, the one he restored), to which I would say, everyone says they're Jesus' church, but Jesus is not as central to the Mormon message as prophets, priesthood, and its other uniqueness are. Topic for another day. But it is there, there absolutely is a doctrinal basis for Jesus in Mormonism. So if that's your thing, great. I think you should have a few other things going on besides that, but that can be an important part of your complete breakfast for going on a mission.

For me, I've always had a hard time with Jesus, I never really had an entry point. He's too big, too perfect. Inaccessible. Also confusing. The trinity is confusing. God is perfect, untouchable. He's the one in charge, the one that runs everything. His son, Jesus, got his feet muddy by being human, so he's able, cosmically, to commune with humans (technically God did too since we'll all be Gods but at some point God got too God-y and can't interact with humans anymore). So Jesus is the messenger. And the Holy Ghost is the way God answers.

So prayer is like a mix of Facetime and Ouija Board, using Jesus, trying to get answers through the Holy Ghost plugin for human spirits. Sort of. The Holy Ghost is also the Ouija Facetime. Jesus is the electricity for it? The analogy breaks down, but it's not a great foundation to start with.

You get the answers from the son, which is why people say they have a relationship with Jesus, but you actually are talking to the father, so technically you'd have a relationship with the father, wouldn't you? Why would I have a relationship with Ouija Facetime? I'm glad it's there, but I really just want to talk to my Sky Daddy. How do people get a relationship with Ouija Facetime?

I thought Mormonism was big on *not* praying to Jesus, only God? But people talk about the son. There's a mystical, romantic element I've never really experienced around Jesus where people get swoony and fall into it. I haven't. I kind of wish I could, because the people who I've seen get into it seem to act like they're in love all the time and it seems to bring them a lot of joy. Smart, good people who were cynical about religion but then fell into Jesus. Honestly, good for them, as long as they aren't jerks about it.

Jesus to me has always been too good. Same reason I can't really do Superman. I read a book called "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" by Christopher Moore, which is a comedy, but I thought it did a pretty good job of giving Jesus a regular person journey. A lot of people would say it's blasphemous, but they'd say this post is blasphemous, too, so it goes. I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to figure these things out. I never did finish The Last Temptation of Christ, which seems like another take on this.

Buddhism (Buddhism?! Why bring in Buddhism, this is Jesus!) as I understand it, says that we are, in our deepest natures, good. That spiritual progress is about uncluttering the unhealthy things that have us kept us down, that cover up what we really are. That we're basically good, and just need to brush it off. We need to unclutter and clean up.

Christianity, as I understand it, says that we're bad. Our nature is bad, we lean to bad, and we need someone who is perfect and good to get us out of this mess. To change us back to good, at a molecular level. In exchange for that fire bath, we only have to do everything Jesus says. This is a debt-bondage situation: you start in debt, and you can only pay things back to the one person, and you can never pay it all back. (How dare you try and get out of debt, how dare you think that this isn't the way it is! You should just be grateful Jesus did what he did! He didn't have to! We could all be lost! It was that [holds fingers close together] close! We could have all been lost!)

I like Buddism's take better. I don't think we're all inherently bad. I think *I'm* inherently bad, but that's the shame and guilt and garbage I'm working through the things the parenthetical voice tells me. The Buddhism side sounds more like reality - a plan that's a lot of work and can be boring. Christianity sounds rigged. It's the person coming to your door telling you your windows, unbeknownst to you, are actually faulty and thank goodness they showed up, for only $499 they can replace a few of those windows for you, shouldn't you be so grateful to them, only you go to pay them and the price keeps going up. Forever. When really the windows are fine. They might need washed. But they're fine. Well, *your* windows are fine.

[spnfanficpond]

September Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

WELCOME TO THIS MONTH’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. Everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that this fun, thoughtful award will do just that. 

Be sure to read through this whole post as people who were nominated more than once only had one tag activated for tumblr tagging purposes!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE SEPTEMBER’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @impalaimagining

From Far Away by @plaid-lover-bay25

This fic is all kinds of sweet. We all know Jensen is perfect and will probably never need glasses to see, no matter what time does to his eyes, but HOO the thought of that man looking over the brim of his glasses when he looks up from his book to meet your eyes? Even if it’s through a screen? Count me ALL the way in.

Silver Lining  by @luci-in-trenchcoats

All I want for the rest of my life is to be right in the moment that exists within this fic. It’s so warm and cozy, even if it does get a bit overheated at times with all that shared body heat. I will gladly accept a few uncomfortably sweaty moments if it means having the two of them just like this.

Pit Stop by @stusbunker

This made me feel so many things. Honestly, it’s thrilling to think about hiding in plain sight like this. 10/10 would recommend public sex with Dean, even if it does mean the occasional scrape from the tree bark.

Nominated by @emilyshurley

Beautiful Ghosts by  @herstarburststories 

Okay picture this, me holding my cup of tea in the morning, crying my eyes out as I’m reading this. Because that’s exactly what happened. 

( Ahh… the angst in this one. This fic left me in tears. Can’t wait to read more parts.) ((submitted twice))

Calm after the storm by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

An adorable Dean fluff. There is something so comforting about how Dean interacts with the reader.

How not to kill someone by @myinconnelly1

A short but chaotic fic and is totally worth the read.

What a wonderful world by @wingedcatninja

The imagery is so great, you can almost feel everything  Sam must be feeling.

A little trip by @mariekoukie6661

Though I have never been inside an Ikea I had a constant smile on my face reading this. And now my face hurts…

Nominated by @waywardnerd67

Mr Pretty Face by @carryonmywaywardcaptain

I want to nominate @carryonmywaywardcaptain Mr. Pretty Face. This was the most adorable fic in the world. Jordan aka Cap is getting her groove back and the world should be graced by her talents! Plus she’s just an awesome person.

Nominated by @sorenmarie87

No More Living A Lie by @fictionalabyss

I know it’s an older fic but the idea of Cas and reader being in a fake relationship (I’d say more but it gives away the story) is fantastic.  

The Real Deal by @firefly-in-darkness

I’m no stranger to reading smut but holy crap!  After a hunt, all you wanna do is sleep but your friend sends you something… and you can’t help yourself.  I don’t know what else to say besides that you should check it out.  

Flesh - January Jingle by @myinconnelly1

I still need to listen to the song this fic is based off of but damn.  This one is great~~ Definitely leaves you wanting more.  

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

Know How It Feels by @supernatural-jackles

I love that one because then the boys would understand what cramps feel like for real!

Some Kind of Sadness by @supernatural-jackles

I love this one because Jen just writes all the emotion so well!!

That’s Alpha or Sir To You, Baby Girl by @sorenmarie87

Dawn worked so hard on this one!! It’s so good!! I just love the fluff and the domestic!!

What’s The Little Guys Name by @sorenmarie87

The Weechester, the little banter between everyone! My heart!! I love this so much!

Nominated by @fictionalabyss

The Way You Lie by @cockslut-padalecki 

 this one hit the nail on the head. How you can know with ever fiber of your being that you need to leave, run, but you find yourself right back there.

Wanna Help A Girl Out? by @sorenmarie87

“Now, will you be a good girl and get on your knees for me?  I believe you owe me something…” that last line had me demanding, nay screaming, for more.

Bikini Inspector  by sorenmarie87 

because sometimes it’s just fun to mess with a guy.

Pineapple and Pizza  by @cloverhighfive 

STILL SCREAMING ABOUT THAT CLIFFHANGER lol. Seriously, though. I don’t dive too deep into ships usually, but I LOVED this little series.

All The Good Girls Go To Hell. (Prologue - chapter 9)  by @cockslut-padalecki 

This fucking series. Holy shit. The smut = perfection and the jealousy and need are on fucking point. Hell yes. this is a must read. a filthy, dirty, must read.

Nominated by @ellewritesfix05​

Don't Test Your Luck  by @downanddirtydean

All the smutty goodness that you could possibly need. The attention to detail, the way it flows seamlessly, the heart-stopping fluff. It’s a total hit and literally one of my favorite fics I’ve ever read! I adore everything Lydia writes and this is simply a must-read.

Homework Help  by @downanddirtydean

Lydia is an amazing writer and talented creator. College-me had a heart attack reading this! It’s so delicious and naughty! 100/10 would recommend!

Life For Rent Chapter 27 by @winchest09

The entirety of Life For Rent is absolutely amazing. Tabby is extremely talented and creative, but this particular chapter is just so wonderfully written, I think it deserves a spotlight. The whole time, you can see yourself in the moment. The way she captures and conveys emotion is nothing short of genius.

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

His Property by @negans-lucille-tblr

I’m nominating this whole dang series, plus both of the sequels!! Yeah, it’s smutty, but it also gets into the psychological issues, especially in the third series, Her Property. There is some possibly triggering content in the first series, which is discussed throughout the second and third, so if that could be a problem, then you might want to skip it. If you’re not easily triggered, though, this is a great story. And the smut is primo, too!!

The Last Visit by @laxe-from-outer-space 

Well, crap, guys. This one just hurts. Talk about taking my heart out back and beating the crap out of it. If you’ve got the tissues handy, definitely give this one a read!

Nominated by @manawhaat

About Bar Fights and Moobs by @cajunquandary

This is a perfect example of the ridiculousness that seems to follow the Winchesters everywhere. This is totally believable and gave me a good laugh.

Keep Me Company by @butiaintgonnaloveem

I’ll never get over how spot on this is for Ketch. It not only shows us a side we don’t get enough of on the show, but it also just shows a whole other side of him that feels so incredibly real and part of his layered persona. 

Calm by @winchesterswoonathon

This is a seriously lovely series about John and all those feelings he has the power to evoke in the people around him. It’s everything I love about him all mashed into a fucking delightful story. 

You Ever by @luci-in-trenchcoats

One of the things I love about Dean is his willingness to be there and help others when they’re having a hard time. He’s the ultimate comfort buddy and this fic is a prime example of his loyalty and sincerity. It’s a little sad but it’s sweet and comforting even in the angst. 

Nominated by @myinconnelly1

The Baby In The Impala by @a-fallen-angel-with-a-shotgun

 DADDY!DEAN!!!! to the max. This was so sweet, I can't even word properly!

One Room Left by @luci-in-trenchcoats

The amount of fluff present in the fic overwhelmed me

Imagine Getting A Sunburn by luci-in-trenchcoats​

Some cute fluff right here and nothing else needs said, read it

Dirty Little Secret by @hardcoresupernatural

 This had the trinity! Hot as fuck, adorable as all get out, and funny as shit. Read it!

Love Me Or Leave Me by @princessmisery666​

 This hurt so much and i wanted to cry. It had that feeling of being real.

Daddy’s A Superhero by @msmarvelouswinchester

Being a parent is hard and hearing a child of any age say they hate you is so hurtful. This was written so well.

Loving You by @emilyshurley​

I will never have enough good things to say about @emilyshurley but this fic was so hurtful and i'm still mad at her.

Finding Dean Masturbating In Your Room by @carryonmywaywardwriters​

 Very dirty and very hot!

Because Of Mistletoe by @idreamofplaid​

Happy half christmas drabble!

Halfway by @holylulusworld​

Dude i was crying so hard.  I just can't even talk about it.

The Frog Prince - or How To Kiss the Impala by holylulusworld

SO CUTE!!!! Absolutely adorable and i love protective!dean

Enough Both Of You by @fictionalabyss​

HOLY FUCKING SHIT this was so dirty and wrong and i love it!

Fatherless Son by fictionalabyss

I really like this series it was exactly what i think of for step!dad Dean!! chef's kiss 

You’re Home Early by fictionalabyss

This was just fun.  They both knew it was bad but they both loved it!

Risky by fictionalabyss

Alright look, if you ever post anything like this again, i want to be tagged.  I will make the fucking time for this every goddamn day!  So wrong, i love it

Finally by @there-must-be-a-lock​

super well written.  it felt so real to the characters and it was incredibly hot

A Huntress In The King of Hell’s Court by @crashdevlin​

I love when time travel is incorporated well in a fic, and this is exactly what i'm talking about!

Fan Mail by @waywardnerd67​

I can't not deal with my emotions on this fic.  It is so fluffy and i'm here for all of it 

One Night Changes Everything by @a-winchester-fairytale​

This ride was so hard i couldn't even comment on ever part.  I just had to rush through the whole thing so i could find out what would happen. 

Mated In The Darkness by @mummybear​

There are not enough words in the world to explain why i loved this fic so much!

Caught In The Act by mummybear

It's smut people.  Its dirty and fucking amazing smut!

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[rukia-writes]

Hi luv! I was wondering if we could get Mike on the lie detector? I feel like we have to complete all three sides of the Barcelona holy trinity trio daddies 😂 Absolutely no pressure tho, only if you feel like writing it! <3

Of course 🙆🏼‍♀️💙✨

Rukia-Writes: welcome Mike.

Mike: Hey. How is everyone-

Levi: damn it Mike stand still. (Is hooking Mike up to machine but his arm is damn huge)

Interview begin

Rukia-Writes: how are you feeling Mike?

Mike: Good. There’s a lot of people in here.

Rukia-Writes: Don’t mind them. Are you ready to start?

Mike: Yes.

Rukia-Writes: is your name Mike Zacharias?

Mike: Yes.

Rukia-Writes: Is your birthday November 1 st?

Mike: Yes.

Rukia-Writes: did you do a foursome in Barcelona?

Levi: 💀

Erwin:

Mike: ... Yes. In my defense she smelled great. Like I can’t explain it, she smelled amazing and one thing lead to another. Beautiful too, very beautiful.

Erwin: and when she spoke Spanish. Bless.

Mike: Bless.

Levi: bless.

Rukia-Writes: did you enjoy yourself?

Mike: Yes. We had dinner and everything.

Rukia-Writes: How did it come about?

Mike: Erwin said “I think she likes me.” So I replied with “Bet?” Because it was obvious she was liking me.

Erwin: Now Mike, I think she liked us all.

Mike: 👀

Levi: 💀

Rukia-Writes: scale on 1-10 how hot?

Mike: Beyoncé hot

Erwin: Meg thee stallion hot.

Levi: ..11. Give a number guys.

Rukia-Writes: I’m curious 🧐 3 for 1 is a lot so like did you take turns?

Mike: Yes. Erwin and I went first. Levi watched for the first round.

Levi: I was content watching.

Eren: first round? 👀

Reiner: watching? 👀

Erwin: two rounds a night, three nights.

Reiner: is the person from Barcelona okay? Can they walk?

Mike: mmmhm 👀

Erwin: mmhmm 👀

Levi: To answer your question yes.

Onyankopon: excuse me, mom it’s for you. (Hands over phone)

Rukia-Writes: Rukia speaking-

Rukia-Writes: 👀👀👀

Levi: gets a bad feeling/Ackerman senses

Erwin: ...I feel like something bad is about to happen.

Rukia-Writes: (ends phone call)

Rukia-Writes: thank you sweetie. (Pats onyankopon’s head)

Rukia-Writes: So that was Kuchel ...she knows of Barcelona now.

Levi:

Erwin: Levi! Come back!

Rukia-Writes: also your dad knows Erwin-

Erwin:

Rukia-writes: Carla knows too Eren-

Eren:

Rukia-Writes: I didn’t even finish. 😆

Reiner: how did they find out?

Kenny and mikasa:

Rukia-Writes: well I need someone to read the lines..

Onyankopon: I’ll do it.

Rukia-Writes:

Onyankopon: love you too mom.

Rukia-Writes: How do you like your eggs Mike?

Mike: Sunny side up.

Rukia-Writes: coffee or tea?

Mike: tea. Coffee can be too strong.

Rukia-Writes: do you exercise a lot?

Mike: yes. Jogging, lifting weights.

Onyankopon: Get those gains.

Mike: yes.

Rukia-Writes: are you a dog person?

Mike: yes, I love dogs.

Rukia-Writes: what about cats?

Mike: I don’t mind them.

Rukia-Writes: last question. What will you be doing for the holidays?

Mike: going to Barcelona again.

Rukia-Writes: 💀

Onyankopon: Barcelona is a nice place. Why are you making that face mom? 👀

✨Rukia-writes✨

[court-queen]

Otome characters you might like according to your OM! favourite (Lucifer, Asmo and Belphie)

I'm going to include both paid and free otome games. I'm also going to mention some games that aren’t otomes but have dating sim stuff (i.e Fire Emblem). This post is only my opinion and based on the games I've played. I hope these work as recommendations for you!

Lucifer

Hijikata Toshizo (Hakuouki): Hijikata is the first commander of the Shinsengumi, a short-tempred, but intelligent man. He is the most mature character from the main cast. Hijikata is very strict with the other commanders, who are very chaotic just like the demon brothers, and the protagonist, whom he distrusts at first. He also has a close relationship (though without any implications) with the Shinsengumi leader, similar to Diavolo. He lacks some of the kinky stuff Luci has, but leaving that aside, Hijikata might be a good route to play.

Jumin Han (Mystic Messenger): Jumin is a CEO who likes cats a bit too much. He is cold and centered on his work. The only close relationship he has is with the leader of the charity organization he belongs to, who is his best friend, and lacks any romantic experience. I would say Jumin is much less developed than Lucifer regarding to social interactions. Also, one of the characters has a strong distaste (which seems to be one-sided) for him. When you enter into his route, he is possesive, but in a slightly different way than Lucifer, more...over-protective. However, in some instances, he can have the same style of possesiveness as Lucifer. If you don’t mind he is less assertive, Jumin could be a very decent alternative.

Xander (Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest): Xander isn’t from an otome, so he  doesn’t have as much romantic stuff, but he is the most similar character to Lucifer, story and character-wise imo. Xander is the crown prince of the country of Nohr, a stoic and wise man. He is the older brother of the royal family, so he has to assume all the responsabilities, taking questionable decisions and pushing away his own feelings in order to maintain peace and protect his family. The relationship with one of his siblings, Leo, is similar to the one Lucifer has with Satan (post Satan arc). Xander has also a very complicated relationship with his father: to keep it spoiler-free, let’s just say he is what would have happened if Lucifer hadn’t rebelled against God. 

Nobunaga Oda (Ikemen Sengoku): A charismatic and intelligent warlord who is trying to unify Japan.  Very bold with the MC. He basically wants to own her, winning Go matches and claiming a part of her body with each victory. It sounds somewhat fucked up at first, but tbf it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Nobunaga isn’t as strict as Lucifer, but when the moment comes he can be very serious. 

I haven’t played it, but...I’ve been told that Victor from My Love’s Queen Choice, Jumin and Lucifer form the holy trinity of sugar daddies in mobile otomes. Chikage Kazama from Hakuouki isn't that similar to Luci, but he has some points his fans could enjoy a lot (he is one of my favourite LIs)

Asmodeus

None of these recommendations are as kinky as Asmo, sorry I don't play many +18 otomes. I still hope you like them Dx

Karma and Rumpel (Cinderella Phenomenon): I think both might work for someone who likes Asmo. First, Rumpel is quite a flirt. He has a curse that provokes him amnesia, but that doesn't stop him from trying to charm beautiful women. Then we have Karma, who has a curse that makes women fall in love with him, so he usually dresses as one to not attract them. He isn't that much of a flirt, but he is quite narcissistic. Put both in the same room, what could go wrong? Both characters end up having a decent depth and growth, so if you are one of those people who wants Asmo to be more than his quirks, you are probably going to enjoy them a lot.

Zen (Mystic Messenger): At first a narcissistic actor, then the most supportive and sweet character from all Mystic Messenger (and also the most stable). I would say he subverts the archetype of the flirt/narcissist in otomes. He has a past and context explaining why is he like that, and his route makes a twist with the rival in love with him. If you want a different focus of the archetype Zen is a really good option for you.

Ikki (Amnesia):  Ikki has a special charm that attracts women. This charm will cause the protagonist in Amnesia to get into lots of problems with people who are totally in love with him. He isn’t narcissistic nor a flirt, but if you are interested in a story about how might be dating Asmo with the consequences of his powers in other people, Ikki's route could interest you.

Yuri (Nameless): Yuri has also a charm that makes people being attracted to him. However, it isn't as exaggerated as Ikki or Asmo especially because all the main characters in Nameless attract a lot of people. He is a flirt and narcissist, practically at the same level as Asmo (I had a lot of fun with his moments). Imo, he is the most intelligent person in the game, and reads quite well the other characters. In his route we will learn more about his behavior, and he will be forced to grow and leave behind his attitude.

Sylvain from Fire Emblem Three Houses and Jiyeon from Dandelion  might also be good recommendations, it’s just that they are a bit more...controversial.

Belphie

These characters are very spoilery, I'll try my best to explain why you might like them.

Unknown (Mystic Messenger): A twin, just like Belphie. Both have violent episodes, even trying to hurt the protagonist. They direct their hate to certain characters, whom they consider responsibles of their miserable situation. At heart, they are really kind and sensitive, but have changed because of their circunstances. I would say Unknown's route doesn't portray him as well as the rest of the game, but regardless you might enjoy it if you like Belphie.

“Nameless” (Nameless): Okay, this one quite spoilery, I'll try to explain it without saying much. Belphie's situation? Imagine it but worse, with nobody knowing where you are and not being able to try anything to escape. Then combine his hate for humans and his love for Lilith, and you'll have the complicated feelings this character has towards the protagonist of Nameless. For me, he is literally Belphie, just much more dramatic and dark...

Monshiro (Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly): if the character before is a darker Belphie, this is a lighter Belphie. All the characters in Psychedelica are trapped in a mansion with monsters inside. This mysterious man appears to help the protagonist to fight them at certain times. Even if the rest of characters are very suspicious of him, he seems to be kind and calm, to the point he doesn't appear to know much about the situation the main characrers are involved in. When we continue advancing through the story, we will learn his real identity, and the sad truth about him. There is also another important similarity with Belph, but, spoilers.

Yeonho (Nameless): Like you can guess from the other character, Nameless is darker than other otomes. Yeonho is a sweet boy, very dependant on the protagonist. He is shy, and doesn't like to socialize with people, even if he is quite popular in his class. When you enter into his route, he becomes a little bit obssesive, and some of his endings are terrifying. If you are a masochist like me enjoy being alert with a sweet character that could break in any moment, Yeonho's route is for you.

I would want to recommend another character from Nameless, who I think has some points that could remind of Belphie, but given that this is not apparent at first, I'll let you discover by yourselves if you play the game.

I wouldn't consider them that similar, but Ukyo from Amnesia is quite the Belphie experience. If I had to pick an only route among otome games I would pick this one. Totally recommended. Kei Okazaki from Collar x Malice has also some quirks Belphie fans might enjoy.

[nanasarea]

Zhong Chenle as your bff

Genre: crack fluff

Pairing: Chenle x reader

Prompt: best friend Chenle shaking your sanity 

Word count: 766 

a/n: me being in my chenle feels caused me to make this...he really do be shaking my bias list rn. also not proofread.

Jaemin / Jisung / Renjun / Haechan / Chenle / Jeno

chenle is chaotic and i love him 

i know it’s 2020 and ya’ll probably forgot this existed but

Pokemon Go

you met while both playing Pokemon Go

he dragged Jisung outside to go with him to the park

Chenle was DETERMINED to find the rarest ones 

so when he heard you yell

“Oh my god! I found a Porygon!”

his immediate response was 

WAT WHERE

and you became instant friends

you met up regularly to catch the Pokemons 

and to get your km/miles in for your eggs to hatch

he ends up offering to take your phone to get the kilometers in for when you have to study

which was the most wholesome thing

and you thought he was the cutest human to ever walk this planet

but then you soon realized

he’s also the most chaotic

once, you wanted to put on more makeup than usual

or put makeup on in general, your preference

Chenle would clown you

“What happened to your face?” 

“That was makeup! What’s your excuse?”

You would bicker so much omg

“I can’t get the hang of this game, what’s wrong with me?”

“You want me to get the list? nice”

“Did you just “nice” your own joke?”

“You would too, if you could do jokes. Nice.”

yknow when Chenle wanted to eat on Weekly Idol and told Haechan he will buy him a new computer if he lets him eat?

that’s his way to get what he wants like 99% of the time

“no, chenle, it is 4 in the morning, go to sleep.” “I’ll buy that cute phone case you have in your cart but never bought” “when we meeting?”

no, you’re not his friend bc of his money

so you kinda feel bad at him buying you everything

and when he finds out, he just laughs

“consider it like me being your sugar daddy, but make it platonic”

he insists on spoiling you

even making an extra diy craft for when he does ChenJi’s This and That

and you guard it with your life

hyping you up

making you do aegyo

and then his arms turning into fists

he malfunction

also don’t you dare say anything bad about yourself

(in general, not just here lol)

especially not in front of him

he will scold you

and tell you that whatever insecurity you said was cute

but also he will not hesitate to insult you if needed

“chenle, what do you think? black or blue shirt?

“Black, the blue makes you look weird”

he’s a Sagittarius he has no filter what do u expect

but he’s also a cusp (scorpio-sagittarius cusp) 

so he enjoys insults

and sometimes uses them to cover the fact that he finds it cute

“that was weird”-chenle’s mouth

“that was the most adorable shit my eyes have ever seen”-chenle’s brain

also teasing Jisung together

ChenJi + you are the new holy trinity 

he plans all of your surprise birthday parties

like he did for jisung

“y/n, you are going home with me and MEETING ALL OF MY FAMILY BC THEY NEED TO MEET YOU!”

spoiler his family likes you more than chenji

you end up hearing all the stories from his iconic baby photos

you entering his house is basically Shane Dawson reacting to Jeffree Star breathing

“i knew you were rich, but damn, you rich rich”

and then you meet his nephew

it’s like looking at two babies at once

a big baby holding a small baby

he’s your own personal cheerleader

whatever you do, he hypes it up

screaming your name 

causing you to lose your hearing but okay

teaches you chinese insults and swear words

renjun scolds him for it

also turns into your personal chef

mainly he cooks ramen tho

mainly to show off

but he will feed you

he doesn’t care if you can eat yourself, 

he will feed you

gets all cocky when you compliment his food

“amazing, right?”

and he nags 

like almost all day

chenle: one of the best vocalists of this century, has been singing since he was a young child

also chenle: you know I’m a rapper, right?

127 marathons

since they are his favorite group

cue kun crying in the background

SPEAKING OF KUN

he ends up being a mom to you too

he baby chenle

he baby you

now both u and chenle baby

to kun

have i mentioned he cuddles you like 24/7

the c in chenle stands for cuddles 

and clingy

and cocky af

Long story short, he is just a whipped best friend who takes care of you while driving you insane at the same time 

I’m whipped for Chenle and that’s the tea, sis.