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hopeful-engineer · 7 months

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🌞 Self-care vs. self-indulgence vs. avoidance

Sometimes it may be a hard to swallow pill, but there's a difference between self-care and self-indulgence:

🍭 self-indulgence: spending too much money on stuff you want, but don't really need, like clothes you'll wear twice and then leave in your closet, where all they do is take up space, books you'll never read, subscriptions you'll forget about

✨ self-care: saving money; planning your budget; buying less, but better quality; thinking twice, before buying something you want, but don't need: "Will I really use it? Do I have enough money to buy it, without worrying, that I won't have enough to buy something more important? I want it now, but will I still want it tomorrow?" (note: I didn't write "don't buy anything except necessities" anywhere. Buy the stuff you want, but do it consciously, plan it and think before buying.)

🍭 self-indulgence: eating fast food and unhealthy snacks; drinking soda pop, energy drinks, tea with a lot of sugar, or too much coffee; adding sugar to everything; drinking too much alcohol

✨ self-care: eating as healthy as possible; learning to cook; avoiding fast food, sweets, potato chips and other unhealthy snacks; reducing your sugar intake; drinking water, fruit juices, tea without added sugar; planning your meals; buying natural food (note: It doesn't mean "never eat anything unhealthy again, never add sugar to anything, never drink alcohol". You can treat yourself with some pizza, or sweets, or beer sometimes, but it should be a treat, not part of your everyday meals.)

🍭 self-indulgence: staying up until 3 AM to watch films/series, play computer games, browse social media, chat with someone, or even to do something, that doesn't involve technology, for example draw or read books; sleeping until 11 AM, because you went to bed too late; sleeping 12 hours at the weekend, because you slept 4 hours a day during the week; hitting the snooze button; laying in the bed for too long after waking up

✨ self-care: fixing your sleep schedule; waking up earlier; going to bed earlier; sleeping 7 to 9 hours every day; avoiding all-nighters; having a fixed wake up time and a fixed bedtime, the same every day, including weekends; getting out of bed immediately when your alarm clock rings (note: I know there are circumstances, that can mąkę having a fixed sleep schedule is impossible, or next to impossible, I also know in some situations it's totally normal to stay up late, like you don't have to leave a party at 9 PM just because you want to stick to your sleep schedule, that would be unreasonable. Do it the best you can under your current life circumstances, and remember, this is about everyday life, not some rare exceptions.)

There's also a difference between self-care and avoidance:

😨 avoidance: staying home all the time; not going to any events, because meeting new people is stressful; always declinig your friends' invitations

✨ self-care: not going to that big, loud party, because it's too overwhelming, but going to a pub with a few friends instead; inviting your friends to your home, when going out feels too stressful; declinig some invitations, when you don't have time and/or energy, but accepting others, when you feel better and have more time; gradually increasing the number of social interactions you have, to be able to meet new people with less stress

😨 avoidance: having no plans for the future; thinking, that there's no point in having any goals in life; telling yourself, that ambitions are generally pointless and hence you don't have to do anything and be good at anything

✨ self-care: having specific, short-term goals and an overall vision od your long-term future; knowing, what you really want to do and what you're good at, and sticking to these things; consciously choosing, what to learn and what to give up on, based on if it's important to you, not to other people; not distracting yourself with too many side plans, when you have one main goal; knowing, what is your passion and what is your ambition; knowing, that you are ambitious mainly for yourself, and only secondly for the society; believing, that you are capable of achieving your goals

😨 avoidance: not studying at all, because it takes time and energy; procrastinating until the last moment before the exam/test/project deadline; always talking the easiest way possible with no ambition beyond barely passing the exam/test; having no plan, no study schedule; never asking for help, even if you're failing, because you think asking for help is a shame, or you're simply too shy; dropping out of school/college because it's stressful

✨ self-care: knowing that you're studying for yourself, your grades don't define you and that real knowledge and skills are more important, than grades; focusing on these topics, that are important to you for your future studies/career, and being the best you can in these areas; being good enough to pass at everything, that isn't important for your future plans; planning your studying and starting early; taking regular breaks to avoid burnout; asking for help if necessary, but trying to do as much as possible and reasonable on your own; acknowledging that, despite the education system being flawed in so many ways, it also gives you many opportunities;

Of course, self-care includes bubble baths, eating cake, listening to your favourite music and slowly drinking tea, while watching the rain outside through the window and letting your thoughts wander, but these aren't only forms od self-care and definetely not the most important ones. Of course, sometimes it includes staying home with your cat instead of going to the party, sleeping in, instead of studying for an exam, because you're exhausted, or giving up on something, instead of trying again and again, but this should happen in some, specific situations, not be your default response. Real self-care should focus on improving your life, not escaping it or avoiding it.

This post doesn't mean, I'm perfect at all of these things. Actually I struggle a lot with many of them. This is a piece of advice for me, too.

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positiveupwardspiral · 10 months

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goddessofmyreality · 1 year

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𝐴𝑁 𝑈𝑁𝐷𝐸𝑅𝑆𝑇𝐴𝑁𝐷𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝑂𝐹 𝑆𝑇𝐴𝑇𝐸𝑆

I’ve been reading through the Neville Goddard subreddit, and I wanted to share a few posts on states that gave me an understanding.

♦️ | 𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒

— Shifting Dominant States

— How to switch states to manifest fast?

— "The Mirror's Truth"

♦️| 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒

The states that reflect in our 3D are those that we feel are most natural to us and are most dominant over other states. When manifesting, the goal of SATS or visualization or any other technique is to get yourself into the state of having your desire. If it feels unnatural to you, you may only be able to occupy the state of having for moments at a time. Maybe in the middle of your SATS session you may feel the state of having, and then immediately go back to feeling like you don’t for the rest of the day. That is why it is important to be patient with yourself. It gets easier to occupy the state of having, but depending on how unnatural this state feels, it may take some time and effort. The important thing is to recognize when you are in the state of having, and when you are not. When you are not, then you should be making efforts to be in the state of having, even if it’s for a short period of time. The longer you do this, and the more times you shift yourself from a state of lack to a state of having, the easier it gets. You will get to a point where being in the state of having will feel incredibly natural and feel like your true self. Even then, however, you may still fall into the state of lack, with no fault of your own. Many times have I woken up feeling apathetic or feeling lack towards my desire, even though I was living in the state of having for an extended period of time before this. Again, the important thing is to recognize that you are in this state, realize that it has no bearing on your manifestation, and use the techniques that have worked for you to shift yourself back into the right state. Basically what I’m trying to say is to never give up. It gets easier the more times you do it, and it will eventually become your dominant state if you come back to it again and again. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall, as long as you keep getting up and getting back to it.

♦️| 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐓

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑?

you should already know that manifesting happens when you change states. The 3D world is mirroring you and giving you a perfect match to your "state of being". You should also know that techniques are only used as a way of shifting states which is why we only see success when we change our inner state and not when we spend years repeating affirmations or doing SATS.

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄?

Your state is the "avatar" through which you experience life. Remember how creation is finished?? Well that means that there are countless versions of you. Each of those version is bound to a certain timeline/reality. Your state defines which of these versions you are and on what timeline you are now.

So if you want to win the lottery you know already that there is a version of you that won that lottery. Congrats 🎊 but we don't want to be happy just because one of our versions won .. we want to experience it !! How do we experience it? ***We become that version! ***

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎 𝐈 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄?

If the honesty police comes at you now, puts you under a polygraph, who do you really say you are? Are you the person that has the desire ? Or are you the person that is trying to get the desire? What are your thoughts during the day ? Is your desire taking over your thoughts ? What are your first and last thoughts of the day? Do you think to yourself "I am so grateful for having what I want" or do you think "okay I did my sats correctly, it should work this time, it is coming to me, or even where is it already, why isn't it working? Hum let me check some more videos on how to manifest, let me ask people around how they succeeded and do like them, etc etc etc." Those thoughts and actions are determined by your state. It doesn't matter if you did 24 hours of SATS, if you did 10 thousands affirmations, if these are your thoughts, if deeeeep inside you are still acknowledging the lack and still putting your desire on the list of stuff that are yet to come, IT ONLY MEANS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE IT!!!!!And the you that doesn't have it can never have it, because as within so without. This is the law. Fine!! HOW do I change my state and manifest easily? You change your state by doing techniques correctly and by actually living in the end!

𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒

1- You do your technique (whatever you like you can even invent your own) and you do it correctly. (Correctly means that as you're doing it you are not thinking of it as a technique... example: If you do SATS don't think of it as visualisation, think of it as reality. I don't mean visualise in 1st person or in full HD, I mean you see the sats the same way you read this now. You know you're reading this, you're not imagining right? Well your SATS should be the same. This is the "feel it as real" part of it. See it as a portal in time and space and that is what you are experiencing now! If you affirm again, don't affirm with the intention of making it happen. If you affirm now "I am reading this post" how real does it feel? Your affirmations should be the same. You are not affirming in order to get something, you are declaring what you have already.) Neville gave this advice in his masterclass, I highly recommend you check it

2- You start to live in the end. You live in the end when you simply know that you got the desire. You think and act as the person that got it already. You stop thinking about it, you stop trying to get it and you stop noticing the lack of it. This is the part that requires a bit more of mental effort and creativity as you will have to ignore the 3D and keep focusing on the end. In case of doubt ask yourself if my desire was here now, would I be doing this or thinking this? (This step should happen automatically as a result of a successful technique but if you want to make it happen anyway, just use your IMAGINATION. Imagine having what you want and see how it feels like, how do you act, how do you think, what do you watch or listen to? And just do it.) I know many people that turn living in the end to a technique and they do it from a place of lack. Living in the end is a result of knowing that it is done. As if someone from the future came back and told you it happened. As if a genie just granted your wish. You KNOW it is done you don't "pretend" that it is done.

3- You change your state! The change of state is the last part of the process and it should happen naturally after living in the end and acting as if you got the desire. When you change your state, you will fully, completely, totally become the person that HAS the desire. Your first thought in the morning will be in line of having that desire, your last thought too. All your daily thoughts will be as if you got it and I am not speaking about thoughts that you make like affirmations. No, your autopilot thoughts will become the thoughts of the you that has the desire. You will notice yourself making room for something you're buying, or buying grocery to cook the favorite dish of your SP and all this comes naturally to you. You don't even question it or feel weird about it. It is a heavy and general feeling of knowingness just like you know your name or which planet you're on. From that state you will no longer notice the lack, and you won't even need to remind yourself or do any techniques.

Techniques—> Living in the end—> New state —>New 3D.

From my own experience whenever I fully change states, my desire comes within minutes or hours, sometimes within 48 hours if I keep going on and off but never more than that.

♦️| 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇

Your I AM is your consciousness of yourself. It's what you're aware of. It's everything you know you are, and know you have. It's your knowledge of where you are. It's your knowledge of your condition. It's also your awareness of you being aware. The 3d is a mirror. This is why you can't find what you're looking for. I don't think many people fully appreciate the analogy of "trying to change your 3d FROM the 3d is like trying to change your appearance by changing the mirror.

The 3D HAS NO CONSCIOUSNESS. It cannot Change, in itself. The mirror isn't alive. What you're looking at is the result of STATES changing. What we call time is the measure of STATES CHANGING. Your current life, IS A STATE. STates are changed BY CONSCIOUSNESS.

"OK BUT WHERE IS MY IPHONE THAT I HAVE IN MY WISH FUL--"

YOU ARE LOOKING FOR AN IPHONE BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A STATE OF LOOKING FOR AN IPHONE.

THE 3D IS DECIDING YOUR STATE FOR YOU. Your objectivity is the image of your CONSCIOUSNESS, but you're letting your Consciousness be the image of your OBJECTIVITY. This is BACKWARDS, and creates the nasty feedback you get when you bring to microphones together. Trying to change your state FROM THE 3D, is like taking an Iphone out of the box, then looking for the iphone IN THE BOX. IT'S NOT THERE. YOUR STATE IS NOT IN THE 3D. YOU ARE NOT IN THE MIRROR . When you DECIDE what you are, it's INSTANT. When you decide that you HAVE SOMETHING CONSCIOUSLY IT'S INSTANT DAMMIT TRYING TO CHANGE THE 3D FROM THE 3D IS LIKE SLAPPING YOUR TV SCREEN TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL

#law of assumption #neville goddard #loa blog #loa #manifesting #manifesation #self concept #law of attraction #master manifestor #manifestor #sammy ingram #shadow work #positive #positive thoughts #states #state of being #motivation #feel it real #mental diet

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lovesclinic · 5 months

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𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬!┊synopsis: press needs you to read him to sleep, and he actually seems, shy?

reader x press

the phone ringing lights up the dark room, press?

"hey Y/N."

well shit his voice even sounds hot at like 3 AM, no fair.

"what do you want press,"

sighing tiredly, she muted herself, waiting for press' response.

the girl groaned and jumped up to sit on the bathroom bench, right next to the sink, her back leaning against the mirror with a posture that would send her mother into a fit.

a soft chuckle filled with sleep could be heard on the other side of the line as she clicked to unmute.

"can't sleep." while press' usual gruff tone was still missing, his short sentences were very much present.

a beat passed while she waited for press to say anything else.

why is his sleeping patterns my problem?

"abby said somethin' about your magic stories making her sleep or whatever, so jus, just do that."

press was stuttering and repeating himself, almost in a flustered manner.

had she made the infamous matt press, nervous?

"so you want me, to tell you a story, to sleep?" she asked incredulously,

were brodie and max listening on the other side, filming and snickering at her embarrassment?

but it was almost three in the morning, and besides press and herself, everyone had gotten high out of their minds.

what story would she even read to him?

"uh, yeah sure, just a short one though," surprised at her own words, she agreed without much need of persuasion from his side.

"ok." press almost whispered, she could hear him shuffling around on wherever he was.

was press still at brodies? or had he gone home?

on the other side of the line, press was settling in to his bed, all alone.

if the boy were to walk into the hallway, he'd still be alone.

stroll down stairs, through the living room, the kitchen, he would still be alone.

so while it was a selfish act for press to call ana, he needed to not be alone.

and no other contact in his phone could make make press forget that he's alone, and sad, like ana can.

"doesn't even have to be your story, just talk, read a book from abby's room,"

press mumbled as he laid so that the bottom of the phone where the speaker was, was placed right beside his ear, laying on his side, facing the phone.

ana was too caught up in what to read him and how his voice sounded when it was raspy and strained with sleep.

so caught up she didn't stop to think about how he had known she was at abby's house and not her own.

press had been woken up by the absence of ana's warmth curled up in his lap, followed by a thump or two, and a distant laugh, light and amused coming from the stairs.

press heard the two voices of ana and abby leaving together, and in his sleepy haze, press wished he had been able to say goodbye.

"i'll just grab a book from abby's desk, one second," placing the phone on the bench at the lowest volume possible so not to wake up abby.

she creaked open the bathroom door, tiptoeing to abby's desk, picking up the first book she could see before locking herself back in the bathroom.

she really hoped that abby didn't have to pee anytime soon.

she looked at the book she had picked up, realising now with the light helping her see, that she had picked up animal farm, the school book they were studying in english.

"is it okay that it's animal farm?" she didn't really know why she was asking his opinion, seeing as they weren't friends, really they would fit more in the enemy category before tonight.

"anything just start reading, please." Press mumbled, in that in between state of awake and asleep.

flipping to a page somewhere in the middle, ana began to read from chapter 5,

"All that year the animals worked like slaves. But they were happy in their work;" she read,

"but any animal who absented himself from it would have his rations reduced by half. Even so, it was found necessary to leave certain tasks-" and read.

she read until she could hear snores from through the phone.

she read for a bit longer after that too, not quite wanting to hang up just yet.

as the time spent on the phone call rounded to almost an hour and a half, ana knew she should've hung up by now, any friend, or enemy would have.

"good night press." she clicked the large red button, the beep sounding out twice signalling her ending the call.

she was exhausted.

she hardly ever stayed up this late for anything other than studying, and never because some boy had asked her to read to him.

she carefully slid back into bed with abby, wrapping an arm around and cuddling to her warm body as if she had been there for the whole night.

however, she was met with the rigid freezing up of abby's body, as she suddenly turned around to face ana in a a flash, awake brown eyes narrowing at her.

"why were you in the bathroom for so long?" abby asked in a sharpened tone, raising a hand to rub her own eyebrows, as if to ward off a headache.

she quickly raised the book still in her hand in response,

"reading."

technically not a lie, ana was reading, just not only for her own enjoyment.

abby nodded, all tightness gone as she now leaned into her embrace, the scent of her soothing vanilla scented hair products filling the her senses.

"nerd." abby muttered, seemingly already deep in sleep, soon followed by her.

#matt press #press ginny and georgia #ginny miller #ginny and georgia #matt press x reader #grumpy x sunshine #oneshot #writerscommunity #x sunshine reader #angel energy #books #feminine #positive #coquette #soft girl #coquettegirl

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