#robot dicks

[image-thot]

Can you add bulkhead to the “can you hunch a transformer safely or nah” list😭😭

I sure can!🤩

Regardless if it is safe or not, people are still going to try to bang the gaint metal robot, but at least now you shall be prepared!

For safety, here is the spike safely rating key

So whats our big bot packing? 👀🪵

[goodmanjacob]

prompt number 2

18/02/25

write something about the first time faulkner fucks emmett. it can be just before - or during - or after; and it can be from either faulkner's perspective or jacob's. ROBOT VERSE

*

Faulkner had never been one to let things escalate.

For as long as Jacob remembered, even before he’d been chosen and remade, the Mayor had ruled with a firm hand and a professional smile. A smile like a knife, sharp as his mind and tongue and eyes. An iron fist, hard and unforgiving as his gaze. And for as long as Jacob remembered, Faulkner had always been measured. Always in control. Suave and smart and likeable. Until one got in his way. Admirable, really, if not for the bodies he made Jacob leave in his wake.

Faulkner always watched and always listened, and the riots in the slums of the outer rim aside, he acted before things could ever *escalate*.

The Mayor wasn’t afraid of getting his own hands dirty, and Jacob had *seen* it, time and time again. Had felt it, too, all too often, in his own body and soul. But ever since Jacob had taken his place at Faulkner’s side - undisputed heir and prince royal, lapdog and bloodhound, bodyguard and son - he didn’t have to anymore. Jacob was the man for the dirty work now. And soon, it seemed, he wouldn’t be alone. Whether that was comfort or threat, he didn’t know.

No, Faulkner had never been one to let things escalate.

So whatever was happening with Reid – but who the fuck was he fucking kidding? it was *recruitment*, and even if none of them had said it aloud, it was clear as day – whatever was happening with Reid, it wasn’t *escalation*.

But there were signs. And Jacob had been around for long enough to see them.

A buildup.

Of orders. Of tension. Of anticipation.

By now, there was no hesitation anymore when Faulkner told the other machine to strip and kneel and bow and lick his fucking shoes. *The eradication of ego, the elimination of self and pride and defiance to do what was necessary. A sacrifice for a greater good.* A lesson in itself, Faulkner had called it, a long time ago.

By now, Jacob knew every inch of his body, watching from the sidelines, observant and silent, as if he hadn’t explored it all before, as if he hadn’t already tasted it, felt it, crushed it.

And even that, this gruesome act of brutality and violence, had been meticulous and calculated, before the Mayor had changed his mind and found a different approach. Not even the vicious frenzy he’d found himself in, heightened by treats and praise and drugs, had been an escalation.

Neither was this. The buildup. Silent, but obvious.

No, Faulkner wasn’t subtle. He didn’t try to be. He didn’t *have* to be.

Reid had been fatally wrong about that.

And maybe that had always been the worst part. To *know* what was happening while it was happening. And to be once again powerless, choiceless, and made accomplice in his own destruction, his own rebirth, his own enslavement.

Yes, by now, Jacob could read the signs.

Because he, too, was always watching, always listening. One of Faulkner’s lessons, and ironically, that meant he’d learnt to read the Mayor in return. Trusted right hand. Dog on a leash. It didn’t really matter anymore, when Jacob returned home with blood on his hands, detached from remorse or shame or guilt.

And today was the day.

Faulkner had become more purposeful with his commands ever since that day he’d told Reid to strip, leading to one ultimate goal. He’d been working up Jacob, as well. And ever since Reid’s unfortunate arrival, he’d been more generous. With rewards. With touches. Praise.

Until it had stopped, two days ago.

A disruption of routine.

The quiet before the storm.

None of this came as a surprise.

To see the Mayor swallow his own set of pills just as he’d entered this morning’s briefing, though, *did*. A rare glimpse of the old man behind the tailored suits and tailored smiles, of the human being behind the impenetrable façade. A glimpse of age and something like weakness behind still youthful eyes. All of this serving a certain purpose, all of this deliberate, without a doubt, because this was still Faulkner.

But that was something to contemplate another day, something to maybe even ask the Mayor about once the smoke would clear after today. In the end, it would turn out to be another fucking lesson or moment  of grand symbolism. At least *that*, Jacob was sure of.

It was, at least, remarkable. Maybe a sign of trust. Maybe yet another fucked up initiation rite. Maybe a reminder. Either way, Faulkner would tell him.

Right now, the question at hand was what to do with that knowledge, with this strange, heavy feeling deep inside Jacob’s gut. Familiar, but disturbing and uncomfortable.

Right now, the question at hand was whether he should warn the prisoner who would soon become his responsibility, his equal or, worse, his replacement?

Of course there was nothing to straighten about Reid‘s fucking tie. It was infuriatingly perfect, like the rest of this pretentious asshole. There was nothing to correct, nothing to adjust, nothing to fix.

Jacob did it anyway, simply a quick touch to the knot that was entirely in order, resting the flat of his hand over Reid‘s chest for just a second before letting go.

A small gesture of comfort, in a place that knew none.

No, Reid wasn’t what Jacob had been. He was no virgin, *and Jacob would know*, was no inexperienced, easily impressed kid robbed from his life and world and transplanted into another, struggling with overwhelming new feelings, hormones and excruciating phantom pain as his tongue and heart and soul were cut out bit by bit with every day passing with terrifying precision.

No, Reid wasn’t a scared teenage boy bent over a desk. But he was just as powerless here. Just as choiceless. Just as imprisoned and castrated.

And *that*, Jacob understood.

Maybe he pitied himself more than Reid. Despite the glory and power and the world at his feet. Despite the rewards and riches, and his role as Faulkner’s successor. Undisputed heir to the throne. Prince and advisor and bloodhound.

And yet, sometimes he mourned the boy he’d buried. And the man he would never become. Without the metal and wires, without the circuits and circumstances.

Maybe it wasn’t Reid he pitied.

Because that fucking man definitely didn’t need pity. He’d bend over without any damage to his body or ego. He’d take it like a man, like Jacob, but with overwhelming control and dignity.

Reid didn’t need Jacob to *feel* for him.

And yet.

With a sigh, he reached into the pocket of his jacket. Black, like Faulkner preferred it. Because in the end, he was just as powerless, just as choiceless, wasn’t he? Despite the power. Despite the glory. He took out the flask with the infuriatingly bland engravement, warm from body heat, but not as warm as it should be. Not as warm as it would be, if he were still human.

And before they entered the office again, this place of dreams and nightmares, he took a sip, small as it was, and handed the flask over before straightening out his own suit. A suit that needed as much straightening as Reid’s tie needed fixing. Faulkner was meticulous, after all.

„Word of advice.”

But who was he kidding? This wasn’t advice. It was a warning.

And Reid already knew what was coming. It had only ever been a question of *when*.

“Today’s not the day for experiments.“

[superbat-lmao]

Jason travels to an alternate universe where Bruce only cares about being Batman. He took in each of his kids to serve the mission, not be his children.

Now, faced with alternate versions of his family, Jason has to grapple with the fact that his Bruce does care, that he is his father. Because the man in front of him now, trying to send him home, isn’t even close.

[hellothisisangle]

[utane]

Saw a cunty robot and had to draw him

[batfam-belfry]

What a time to be out of Bat-Abraham-Lincoln repellent

[jelllllo-cup]

has anyone seen the new PV for batman ninja

unclench your jaw, man

i like tim's hair better like this (how it's supposed to be i think). can't say the same about the first pv because it made his hair a weapon

[jofiah]

robot girl with LEDs in her dick that light up when there's an impact like those shoes with the light-up soles

[savanir]

It was meant to be a nice day, visit the current location of the circus, meet up with some acquaintances, play with the puppies of the acrobatic dogs act.

Just don't think about the bat stuff for a while. Dick had let the tension slip out of his shoulders.

Rookie mistake.

Now here he is, fighting with a weird new primarily black with some white Amazo like robot who for some reason targets ghosts?

Dick was just having a nice little talk with his old friend Boston when this thing came out of nowhere.

And seriously, it's really hard to protect someone you can't see but the enemy very obviously can. Thankfully the thing seems to be programed to target ghosts and only ghosts. And it seems very averse to Dick's escrima sticks.

Dick has already contacted Barbara and she's trying to figure out what the acronym G.I.W. that's stamped on the robot stands for.

Trying to reason with it by, for example mentioning that Deadman is with the league, simply leads to the thing rattling off a bunch of anti ghost laws. Why are there anti ghost laws?!

Backup should arrive soon though, it turns out that Tim has already stolen a batjet earlier that day and is now on his way after checking an old young justice member.

Over the comms they talk,

"Nightwing, I think you and I have the same target"

"Yes I would hope so!?"

"No, I mean, I think that robot attacked my old teammate first, but she's not a ghost anymore so it left again without doing much"

"... who is out here with a grudge against already dead people? I thought this was just targeted against Deadman!"

Oracle pops up, "sorry to disappoint boys, it's a whole thing apparently, an offshoot of the global occult coalition"

Twin groans are heard over the line with one being cut off as Nightwing has to dodge a piece of circus tent getting thrown in his general direction.

Though the relaxing day off is ruined there is a part in Dick that's a little excited to shut this thing down and take it apart back in the cave, this is shaping up to be a somewhat fun mystery for once.

[exaltior-a]

what they dont warn you about when you become a robotfucker is that you might rapidly just be turned on by computers and servers. and then machinery in general. tell me why i have a post in my drafts about a washing machine having an orgasm. what is wrong with me. i started out just wanting to fuck glados what the fuck happened

[image-thot]

HOW BIG WOULD TFP SHOCKWAVE’S SPIKE BE

IDK WHY WE ARE YELLING BUT OK :D Tfp Shockwave is in the chart but because I haven't checked me asks for a long while (sorry about that) here's his spike stats;

Length: 59.4 cm Circumference: 45.7 cm Diameter: 14.6 cm Can we fuck it? No, you will die. Have your fave Doctor on standby to revive you. Hopefully, I will get around to adding an actual Excel/google sheet for everyone to access where I can add updates as they come.

[jackalspine]

I know Young Justice S1 and Teen Titans tv timelines literally cannot exist together but like.. what if robin is just The Overachiever of ever.

Full time job of maintaining seven continuity errors at once

Teen titans origin story happening in like . A weekend off from being a full time student and being on the team lol

[fl4kf4n]

Another old post... this is a badly formatted comic but I wanted to finish it so it wouldn't stay a coloured sketch anymore :0

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

THE REDS AND BLUES OF PROJECT FREELANCER (and the friends they made along the way)

Locus is a red and you cannot change my mind on this (sarge called dibs during s12 the second wash wasnt looking) and Junior gets blue team privilege

“Where alpha church and tex” sorry im a red i only stuck with the blue that survive epsilon excluded (meaning i dont like how alpha church came out and i’m going to keep tweaking him and tex until i like them okay)

[juice-and-catharsis]

Hey, don’t cry. Murderbot is consistently referred to using it/its pronouns :)

[slumbering-shadows]

"Do you have a warrant?"

"What?"

"Do you have a fucking warrant? Get out."

Gorgug is so done